#anyway i think ive done enough translating for today i have to get to my hw

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 304: The Council of OFA

Previously on BnHA: Hawks and Best Jeanist were all, “what up Todofam, we are here to apply for the positions of ‘son #4’ and ‘weird uncle’, respectively,” and then proceeded to insert themselves into the family drama without waiting for an answer. Hawks briefed Endeavor on the nation’s current status of “totally fucked”, promised to help him sort that out, and then asked him about OFA. Endeavor was all, “oh do you mean One For All, the mysterious thing that my intern Deku was apparently being targeted for?” and then we cut away, presumably before Endeavor could clarify that it never occurred to him to follow up on that, and Hawks was all “no of course not, why would it occur to anyone other than me to follow up on any of this super weird and ominously important shit.” Anyway so meanwhile Bakugou was all “LET ME SCREAM AT DEKU UNTIL HE WAKES UP” and the other kids were all “NO”, and then the chapter ended with All Might being all “I wonder what the vestige!me is currently chatting with Deku about.”

Today on BnHA: Deku drops in on the Vestiges, who are all “sup Deku, how do you like our fancy chairs.” OFA II and III are all “if you need us we’ll just be standing here silently in the corner pretending to be invisible and sparking endless discourse with our mere existence.” OFA IV is all “and now I will explain to you in a very convoluted way that you being quirkless was actually a good thing, since it means that you are probably not going to suddenly drop dead at the age of twenty. But also you’re probably going to be the last user of OFA for that very same reason.” Deku is all “that is wild. I’m just gonna stand here and stare at my hand.” Nana is all “so now that that’s settled could you please do me a small favor and kill my grandson for me”, because having just one topic to discourse about this week WASN’T ENOUGH, apparently. Thanks so much Horikoshi.

(ETA: okay so just a note before I start, this week’s RHA translation was a huge mess, so I followed up this chapter by reading a couple of other translations. the main one I’m using for reference is the one by @hanashimas​, whose weekly posts I highly recommend. anyway so you’ll see a couple of ETAs in this post in places where the initial translation was off.)

how many layers of bandages did they wrap this poor kid’s fucking hand in omg

jesus Deku. are you holding onto a bouquet of flowers under that thing?? or a tennis racket??

omg yes, finally

is he reading these names off a teleprompter lol. and if so, what has Jeanist ever done to slight you, Deku? “god bless Kacchan and Aizawa-sensei and Todoroki-kun and everyone else in the whole wide world... except for Best Jeanist. fuck that guy.” actually this joke would be funnier if half of tumblr didn’t legit feel that way lol but anyway

OH MY GOD

I NEED TO HAVE A TALK TOO. ABOUT, OH, EVERYTHING

I got immediate KHR vibes from ALL OF THIS. this is seriously such a Vongola aesthetic. “let’s use the luxuriously cushioned chairs with the seat backs that are ten feet high, and arrange all of the handsome ghost people in a big circle” like come on

that said there are also some slight LoTR vibes as well. “bring forth the ring, Deku”

I like how Six is sitting there with his feet drawn up all casual, but with his arms inexplicably sticking STRAIGHT OUT IN FRONT OF HIM and dangling over his knees like he’s doing some sort of zombie walk

apparently the Fourth wasn’t a big fan of shoes huh

interesting that All Might is the only one who’s still faint/indistinct, and and that Two and Three are fully visible

(ETA: the rest of my speculation about Two and Three has been moved into a separate post, the better to focus on the shit that’s actually happening in this chapter lol.)

and lastly, interesting that all of them are talking now, except for All Might (and I guess the Second and Third as well). to the best of my knowledge Deku hasn’t unlocked the Sixth’s quirk yet, so I guess the quirks don’t really have anything to do with it

oh and it looks like Deku’s mouth is still covered. I guess that’s convenient for the vestiges since we all know it’s hard to stop Deku once he gets going. but on the other hand it’s very inconvenient for people like me who wanted to see some interaction. alas

so First says that OFA’s power has grown a lot in the last four months (i.e. since Deku unlocked Blackwhip), and now the vestiges can communicate with each other as well as Deku

so even when Deku’s not around they can all just chill with each other. this is such a weird thing to me lol. like it’s cool, don’t get me wrong, but it’s also strange as hell to know that you’ve got eight other people hanging out in your head spying on everything you do and having conversations with each other about it. it would be like if Dark Shadow had someone to hang out with other than Tokoyami. good thing you weren’t triplets, Tokoyami

First says that it’s become easier for the vestiges to interact with Deku ever since TomurAFO barged into the OFA Domain back at Jakku. huh

(ETA: apparently this is because AFO forcibly pulled out OFA’s power when he was trying to steal the quirk, so I guess that makes sense.)

okay thank you Banjou for addressing this concern which I initially brought up as a joke, but which was apparently real enough for you to reassure Deku about

“don’t worry, even though we’re awake and hanging out inside of you at all times, we’re definitely not secretly watching and making fun of every single thing you do” hmmmmm

(ETA: “not that you could do anything about it even if we were, since you’re probably going to be the last OFA holder ever!” I don’t trust anything this asshole says lmao.)

OH SHIT??

YESSS DEKU now you can hold them accountable for all of their bullshit! because I do not doubt that there will be bullshit lol but let’s see how that goes

oh damn

well okay then. you didn’t have to stand up and walk over to him and loom all threateningly like that but okay sir

this guy has kind of a Kimimaro vibe to him. remember? that bone-growing guy from Naruto? except I’m pretty sure he had eyebrows. and wasn’t twenty feet tall. speaking of which, that explains the chairs

why are you wearing only 3/5ths of a shirt

lol what

someone’s gonna have to explain this to me. is he just redundant or something lol, or is he strangely poetical or what

(ETA: apparently HE’S MAKING A PUN omg. I immediately gained +10 love for him lol. also it flows a lot better in Japanese. this is one of the things Caleb is usually good at, so we’ll see what he does with the wordplay.)

omg the hermit theory is true!!

“I’M NOT WEIRD, IT’S SOCIETY WHICH IS WEIRD.” lol whatever you say buddy. also love how Banjou tried to give him a big hearty slap on the back but Hermit Boy was not having it lmao

IS HE TRYING TO CAPTURE HIM WITH BLACKWHIP

AND ACTUALLY, NO, SIR, AS A MATTER OF FACT, WE ARE NOT AWARE. SO SPILL!!

?!!?

okay my first response was LOL ARE YOU SERIOUS, THAT’S THE BIG SECRET!? -- and then it hit me what the significance of “died from old age... AT AGE FORTY” meant. at which point it was like “!!!!!” and then “OH, SHIT”

(ETA: there’s also an Iida joke here somewhere but I’m just too tired to make it.)

oh my god oh my god

did he somehow get a copy of the coroner’s report or something? like how does he even know that he died from “old age” as opposed to any number of other natural causes? ??

but anyway. so this is the quirk singularity coming into play then I guess. but then how come All Might is still alive and ticking?

(ETA: so this is one example of where this week’s translation is a mess lol. apparently the Fourth explains here that he didn’t know what the fuck he died from until All Might researched it. and it turns out there actually was an autopsy lol so there you go.)

so Fourth says he held OFA for eighteen years, and since he knew he would never be strong enough to defeat AFO on his own he basically just spent all his time punching rocks in the woods and training to power the quirk up

oh shit

is he implying that his body literally fell apart?? like that’s how he got the scars on his face? -- IS THAT WHAT KEEPS HAPPENING TO TOMURA, THEN. oh shit

DUDE

so you’re telling me that this quirk actively shortens the lifespan of anyone who uses it?? and my little boy here has had it now for a year already?? fuck me, I have immediately have a TON of thoughts about all this but let me save it until he’s done with his explanation

THANK YOU, DEKU

right?? how come All Might didn’t die then. even after he got injured. please don’t tell me he actually is dying still and is just being slow about it because I SWEAR TO GOD

what does this mean??

so what you’re trying to say is you all have NO FUCKING IDEA how long Deku’s gonna be able to hold this quirk before he SUDDENLY DROPS DEAD?! five generations ago this dude was able to hold it for eighteen years, and then four generations later All Might was able to hold it for thirty-odd years or so, and now Deku has it and you all have no clue which way it’s gonna go? actually this makes it sound like it really wasn’t OFA that killed the Fourth at all and you guys are just really bad at forming hypotheses. but since you’re making a big plot point out of it I guess it must be true

and don’t think I didn’t notice the part where you said you didn’t have OFA very long and then “died while fighting”, Firsto. I want to hear more about that. specifically who you passed the quirk onto before your death

and yes, if we are agreeing that OFA was the cause of the Fourth’s death, then the conclusion on this next page is the natural one to draw

so that’s a bit of a relief then, because Deku is quirkless too. so it means he won’t be able to hold OFA forever (and will probably have to find another quirkless person to pass it on to), but at least he won’t be randomly dying out of the blue next Tuesday or something

oh my god now he’s talking about OFA and AFO and user consciousnesses and all sorts of good theory stuff but it’s so much exposition. you’re really gonna make me read all this lol

wait what. why would All Might being quirkless have anything to do with the presence of his vestige in OFA Outer Space Party Land

but Deku is also quirkless and he’s clearly visible and chatting with you guys. so what gives. like how much of this is verified fact and how much of it is you guys just shrugging and making stuff up lol

SERIOUSLY, GUYS

BUT DEKU IS ALSO -- you know what, never mind sob. none of this shit makes any sense but whatever

(ETA: seriously, this all seems like an awful lot of speculation on their part. for Deku’s sake I sure hope they’re right.)

FSSKDJFLSKLKJLKJL ALL MIGHT IS FIFTY-FIVE?!

lol that’s a full ten years past my closest estimate, wow. but this pretty much confirms his age now at last! or at least confirms it within a couple of years, because we know All Might and Nana met when he was in middle school, and he presumably had the quirk by the time he took the U.A. entrance exam. so yeah. gonna go with fifty-five

so they think that because All Might was quirkless, OFA was better able to adapt to his body and became his true quirk, as opposed to being an extra quirk that stacked on top of the one he already had and overwhelmed him. ties in back to the whole “AFO used to bend people to his will by forcing quirks on them” thing, as well as the “Noumus are all mindless because of the strain of having multiple quirks”

Two and Three are really ruining the serious vibe of this scene here lol

they look like they’re doing the counting for hide and seek

and is this Deku talking now? I was about to get mad at First for implying that quirkless people are somehow freaks, as opposed to “normal” people jdslk

so in other words, don’t go giving it to your best friend all casually for shits and giggles, Deku. even if it would make a really cool climax for a movie. well shit. maybe that’s why they were so quick to nope back into Deku’s body afterward

so First says that because quirkless people are becoming rarer and rarer, the fact that All Might just happened to stumble upon Deku is “nothing short of a miracle.” which, yeah, that was definitely a stroke of luck there. being quirkless saved his life. but being quirkless is also part of why he was chosen in the first place, and we’ve always known that much

“in other words, kiddo...”

looks like there was some hurried clone stamp usage going on here lol. but props to RHA as always for putting this scan out so fast, especially given how exposition-heavy this week’s chapter has been

“anyways, that was the main topic” ARE YOU SERIOUS. there are like ten other topics imma need you all to get to here, people

(ETA: seems like this is a mistranslation; the line should actually read something more along the lines of “and now for the main topic.”)

FFFFFFFFF

“ENJOY YOUR CLIFFHANGER THIS WEEK.” dskfalkjlkjwlgkjl you really went and dumped this discourse on us yet again. fucking...

(ETA: forgot to mention, but as several people mentioned, this seems to be another mistranslation -- rather than asking Deku to kill Tomura as though it’s doing her a personal favor, Nana is asking “will you be able to do it.” in other words more of an “are you capable of doing it” type of thing. which is a very reasonable question to ask given that Deku is, well, Deku.)

anyways, and the answer is obviously going to be “no” of course. this isn’t going to end any differently than when the previous Avatars all told Aang to kill Ozai. but I guess it means we’re in for a fun conversation next week

so Nana looks pretty grim here though (nothing at all like the person who once taught All Might the importance of saving people with a smile), and I’m wondering if this means she believes that her grandson is already beyond saving. as in killing him would be a mercy, as opposed to him continuing to live with AFO bending his mind and body to his will. except if that is the case, I think she’s underestimating Tomura’s own will. and definitely underestimating Deku’s will to save

and also, just... I’m so fucking sick of AFO screwing the Shimura family over, honestly. this is exactly what he wanted. well fuck you, guy. you don’t get to have what you want. go out there and save Tomura, Deku. for his sake and for Nana’s. give them some hope. do your thing, boy. can’t wait for your big speech all about it next chapter lol

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Yuugiroku Drama - Thumb-Sized Samurai Tracks 1-4 (of 7)

This is my last post of the month, so I’ll end by asking you to please support me if you can through my ko-fi, and paypal or patreon which provides access to my hakuoki blog translations and early access to my postings. Also, please let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my Lookout List since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that I can share.... and if you are able to remove watermarks from a video, please contact me.  

Well... I’m finally done with all that i can translate for this drama. posting these tracks all together since im unable to continue translating the rest of this by myself... which is something i wouldn’t normally do because i prefer splitting tracks up for more items on my queue, tho that’s also a side-effect of me usually not being able to stay focused on one drama... not sure when i’ll get to the subtitle videos for these since im still pretty busy (while i have the first 3 tracks of this drama subtitled [unedited], at this rate, i might just wait for when finals are done and just focus on all my videos in bulk then... plus ive yet to receive the tl for track 6 and 7 [and need someone else to go over where the voices overlap in track 5], so that will likely cause further delays to the videos for this drama).

also i totally caved in and exchanged points for the yuukoku no moriarty stage play file with chinese subs that someone finished translating recently and bought the blu-ray for the 2nd musical. havent craved more content from a fandom this badly since about a few months before i decided that i would start translating hakuoki stuff lol. 

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 Limited Edition Bonus Drama CD “Thumb-sized Samurai”

Translation by KumoriYami

Track 1

Kazama: hehehe~ Sure enough/As expected, this medicine's blend of Forsythia grass and boiled eel, along with my yearning and passion....

Heh.....hehehahaha~!!! Success at last! This forbidden drug, it shall be named ——the New Ishida Sanyaku · Changed/Improved!!

Hm~. as long as this strange drug  "the New Ishida Sanyaku" is improved, it will become a panacea that will make people fall deeply in love.......

She obviously loves me, [however] my wife is is unable to honestly admit to her feelings [and] is tormented by the pain of love-sickness/My wife, tortured by love sickness, has refused to admit her feelings, isn't this medicine suitable for her?

Alright/Well, now that this medicine has been completed, this must be quickly brought to my wife to drink.

No, wait, just in case, the effects of this must be tested first. (Kazama begins walking off somewhere—)

Track 2

Harada: So that's it/all, Hijikata-san, that's all I can report on. Sure enough/As expected, the team members' most pressing concern is the security of headquarters.

Saito: My opinions/suggestions are almost the same/similar/the same as Sano's. I believe that we need to improve our defences against intruders.

Hijikata: Is that so. I understand what you guys are saying. Harada and Saito, you've worked hard....... That being said, it's difficult to completely prevent intruders from coming in. This place is a temple, not a fortress. Even if we installed a fence now, that isn't really a good plan.

Saito:.....So what you're saying is......

Harada: But, shouldn't the area around Chizuru's room at least be fortified? It is true that someone is after her.

Saito: Kazama Chikage, Amagri and Shiranui [check audio], the self-proclaimed group of oni......

Hijikata:......Indeed. In short I need to consult with Kondou-san about this....... Then, that'll be it for today's report.

Saito: Then I'll go make some tea. You should rest first. Sano, you should also drink some.

Harada: Oh, thanks a lot. Then I won't be impolite [rephrase later].

(Saito leaves then returns shortly after)

Saito: I've brought the tea. This is fresh[ly brewed] and hot, so please be careful.

Harada: Thank you. I didn't expect this so quickly.

Hijikata: (sips tea)......Oh, what's this, Saito? Did you use some other tea leaves today?

Saito: Nn?......No, I haven't done that.

Hijikata: Really? Then why do I feel that this tastes different from usual?

Harada: You didn't put poison in did you?

Saito:......!! Don't say such frightening words, Sano. The idea of me poisoning the Vice-Commander is complete nonsense. [i prefer the word 'utter']

Harada: Don't get angry, I was just kidding. (sips tea).......but, like Hijikata-san said, the taste of this tea really is odd/strange [tl says 'subtle']......

Saito: Strange? How could that be...... (sips tea)....!!

Harada: What's wrong? You've suddenly become quiet.

Saito: This taste is of...... Ishida Sanyaku ！？

Hijikata: Ahaha, I was thinking that this tasted a bit familiar, so that's what it was........ wa, wait! Why was that put into the tea!?

Harada: Saito..... you bastard, did you actually put Ishida Sanyaku into tea/you didn't actually put Ishida Sanyaku into tea did you? Even if you love that stuff, you should know when to stop before going too far [idiom. rephrase later]!

Saito: No......I would remember doing something like that. I only saw that the teapot lid was open, that there were tea leaves already inside, and that I was thinking how it could easily be brought over to be used......

Hijikata:......There was already tea inside? Did you notice if there was something strange/weird in the surroundings?

Saito: Speaking of which........ I saw something, I thought it was garbage so I ignored it, I think I remember how a note there was a written note saying "dedicated/specially for my wife. Dogs are strictly prohibited to touch this" or something like that.......

Hijikata: What, those words. From where do they....seem... familiar.......

(Hijikata collapses)

Saito: Vice-Commander!!

Harada: oi~ oi!! What's wrong, Hijikata-san! Why are you/why did you suddenly....... falling/collapsing/fall/collapse......!!

(Harada collapses)

Saito: Sano!! Why are you also......!!.......Why am I/How can I.......also....... be fainting........!

(Saito collapses)

Track 3

(footsteps)

Souji: Ha...... good grief, this is a real problem. I've long wanted to say this, but why is it necessary for us to submit a report about our patrols when nothing unusual happened?

Heisuke: I actually think that way too. But nothing can be done about this because of the rules~

Souji: Anyway, if nothing unusual happens, isn't it enough for Heisuke to make the report/that you make the report, Heisuke? I don't think I should be involved in giving it~

Heisuke: You just don't want to go to Hijikata-san's room. If you were giving a report to Kondou-san, you'd obviously be very happy.

Souji: That's because Hijikata-san sees me he won't stop talking as soon as he sees me. Before this, all I did was secretly prepared some ink and smeared a stone into it so that it turned black. He surprisingly became furious at me.

Heisuke:......Anyone who experienced this kind of thing would get really angry.......  Hijikata-san, we're coming in. (they stop walking and open a door) Hey~ Hijikata-san~! Eh? Ah? It seems that he isn't here?

Souji:......But, doesn't it look like he was was recently in the room? Look, something spilled on to the floor.

Heisuke: What~? Is it possible that he wasn't careful and spilled his teacup, then panicked as he left to go and get a towel to dry this?

Souji: Maybe. Anyhow/Speaking of which...... besides the tea, there seems to be some other strange thing on the floor...... What is this?

Heisuke:......Hijikata-san, Sano-san, and Hajime-kun? What are these, these puppets/figurines [or dolls] look very well made. These might be Hijikata-san's things, so it'd be better not to touch them.

Souji: Anyway it seems like he's not in his room right now. Nothing to be done about it then~ [we'll] hand in our report later.

Heisuke: Yeah. Really, just where did he go......

(they open the door and leave the room)

Track 4

Harada: Saito...... Oi, Saito...! Wake up, I'm telling you to wake up!

Saito:.......Mm...mrgh... S-Sano?

Harada: Yeah.... oh, wait a sec! It's good that you're awake, but you can't open your eyes yet!...... Well, how should I put this...... you need to be mentally prepared......

Saito:.....? What are you saying? What mental preparations......?

~music tune~

Saito:.......!! Sano!?………………Sano?

Harada: Why is that a question? Without a doubt, it's me, Harada Sanosuke.

Saito: No....... But, the Sano I know, doesn't have that height......

Harada: Don't worry, you've become just like me. Just look down at your own body.

Saito:.....!!  Even my sword is unsteady in these smaller hands, and if I step forward, there's the risk of falling over because this extremely big head..... What the hell happened to my body...!

Harada: I'll say it first, but this isn't a dream. Because I've already my face quite a few times.

Saito:......This lowly/humble body...... let alone moving, won't I be useless to the vice-commander and be unable to contribute to the Shinsengumi!?

Harada: In a sense, I don't think you'll need to worry about that? Take a look/Look, Hijikata-san has also become like/also looks like this.

~music tune~

Hijikata: Ah...... damn it......! My hands and feet [arms and legs] have gotten shorter, and everything else [tl is surroundings/everything in the surrounding] has become incredibly large......!

Saito: E-Even the Vice-Commander.....!? Why do you [also] have this awkward appearance......!!

Hijikata: Saito, you're awake. I just woke up...... Oi, Harada, why on earth have we become/do we look like this!

Harada: Even if you ask me that, I have no idea/I don't know. I was like this when I woke up.

Hijikata: Yeah....... well, since the three of us have all become like this, it's obvious/goes without saying that the pot of tea was strange.

Harada: Yeah. To begin with, it's strange to have tasted Ishida Sanyaku in tea.

Saito:......I see. That is to say that this is all due to Ishida Sanyaku......

Hijikata: No, that's impossible......

Saito: Ishida Sanyaku is a medicine that is meant to be taken with sake, because it was deviously put into tea, this sort of of trouble happened.......

???: Che~ how stupid [tl is more "stupid beyond the point of help/redemption but i can't figure out how to word that]! Devious? It's shameless to even guess/speculate about this [reword later].

Harada:......! That arrogant voice......! Kazama!!?!?

Hiijikata: You bastard! Are you actually here to harass Chizuru again[??? there's an idiom used in this sentence that I don't really get so i omitted it]!? Where the hell are you hiding!?

Kazama: HAH~! Are your eyes just decorations?  I don't run or hide, so are you not able to see who is before your eyes?

~music tune~

Saito: Ha....... so you've also become like this...

Harada: I couldn't help but look up just now ['doubt my eyes'ish or 'look away'.... or something?] . (whispers) Ha.... It turned out be some random passerby.

Kazama: You bastard, sighing after looking at someone else's face, you really know nothing about etiquette!

Hijikata:: After breaking into someone's home, it goes without saying that etiquette will go to the dogs [reword later]! Alright, Saito, Harada! Let's drive this guy out of headquarters!

Saito: Understood (draws sword)

Kazama: Ah~ do you plan on fighting me with that poor body of yours?

Hijikata: Look at yourself, aren't you also the same!?

Harada: Speaking of that guy, why are you even here?.... Don't tell me that it was your plan to make our bodies smaller!?

Kazama: Ha, have you finally noticed it. You idiots/fools with no brains.

Saito: In other words, this is all that guy's fault?! Making all of our bodies smaller, what do you intend on doing?!

Kazama: It has nothing to do with you. I was only looking for my wife.... Yes, only just my wife.... That damn vile medicine!! To actually make turn me into this inferior article!!

Hijikata: Although I don't get why you're so upset, quit rambling, and hurry up and tell us the way to get us back to normal!

Kazama:.......Che.

Saito: You still won't talk. Then violence can be the only answer [reword later. don't like how it reads]...!

Harada: Hold it, Saito!

Saito: Why are you stopping me, Sano! If we don't get the answer out of that guy's mouth, we won't be able to get our bodies back to normal!

Harada: Don't you think it's a bit strange? Kazama was originally the culprit with that medicine, but why is that guy so small now? If he was able to get back to normal, he already would have done that!

Hijikata: Co-Could it be.... you're not going to say that you don't know how to get us back to normal, right!

Kazama:  Did you finally realize it? You idiots with no intelligence!

Harada: Uwah....... I really want to beat him up......

Saito: Vice-Commander, please give me the order to cut that guy down!

Kazama: Che, listen to me! It's not that I don't know how to restore us to our original states. It's just that this method will be extremely difficult to accomplish.

Hijikata:……Difficult [Difficult how]……?

Kazama: It's simple to get back to our original states. The teapot with the medicine in it is still in the kitchen. We just need to drink more of that medicine, the "New and Improved Ishida Sanyaku."

Harada: I feel that I want to complain about the name of that medicine since it's a bit too subtle.... But will that really work?!

Kazama: Of course. As I possess the noble bloodline of the oni, it's impossible for me to lie.

Hijikata: For the time being, we'll believe what you say. For the time being, we'll believe what you say. You said it'd be difficult, but shouldn't being able to get into the kitchen smoothly, be the only problem? 

Saito: Indeed. Just from the drop to the ground, which looks as high a wall, you can definitely infer how difficult it will be to get to the kitchen...

Kazama: That's right. As a dog who can only wag his head and wag his tail, that ability to understand is really good.

Harada: How is it that I feel angry whenever I hear you say something nasty [reword later].... Well, since we're like this, if we have more people, we'll be able to solve this problem sooner.

Hijikata: Speaking of which...... if someone would pass by/if someone just passed by......

(voices heard in distance)

Souji: Eh~ really, I don't always want to be doing this every time~

Heisuke: Don't say that. Hijikata-san should be back at his room now, right?

Hijikata: Those voices just now...... are Souji and Heisuke's?

Saito: Souji! Heisuke! Come here......! Mmph......! (mouth gets covered by Harada)

Harada: Don't be impulsive, Saito!!

Saito (weakly) What are you doing......!

Harada: I'm telling you/Listen [to me], just think about it! Even if Heisuke helps, the other person there is Souji!

Hijikata: If that guy finds out that we're tiny/this small, who knows how he would react!

Saito: (gasps and moves Harada's hand away) Ha...... Indeed, he'd treat us like toys and handle us as if we were straw...... just imagining that gives me the chills [reword later]......

Kazama: Che, as expected of a pack of dogs made up of rogues and villains. It's amazing that how you don't even have confidence/trust in your own companions.

Hijikata: Shut up! Under these circumstances...! Perhaps Souji is the only exception!

Harada: In the first place, what should we be doing, Hijikata-san? We have to do something, so should we just tell Heisuke about what happened?

Hijikata: Uh………… No, let's pretend to be dolls for a while. After, we can wait for Yamazaki or maybe Gen-san....... ah, there's still Chizuru, [but] we should wait for someone reasonable to pass by.

Kazama: What are you saying? You're actually telling me to pretend to be a doll [reword later]!?

Hijikata; Shut up and just do as I say! Even if it's you, if you can't get back to normal, won't you have a lot of problems!

Kazama: Che. There's nothing to be done/that can be done about it then.

Harada: Heisuke's coming! Everyone stop talking!

(door slides open)

Heisuke: Hijikata-san~!  Hah!? Still not here......

Okita: That's strange. I just heard a very quiet voice just now, so I thought Hajime-kun was here. (looks around) Anyhow, why have these dolls that were placed here, so scattered around [reword later/thesaurus]? Furthermore, this/And this strange doll with blond hair, I don't remember seeing it earlier.  

Toudou: What is this, a doll of Kazama? There's even one of one of Sano-san, but why isn't there one of these odd dolls of you or me, Souji?

(Heisuke pokes Kazama's head)

Kazama: You bastard......! The only one in the world who is allowed to touch me, is my wife...!

Harada: Come on, don't talk, just be patient!

Souji: These two figures look very much like Hijikata-san and Hajime-kun... Come look at them, they look pretty funny/interesting~

(Souji pokes Hijikata's head)

Hijikata:………………！！！！

Saito:…………！

Okita: Nn? I seemed to have heard something strange?

Harada: Well since these are Hijikata-san's things, if you play around too much with them, he'll get super angry~

Souji: That's right. But, if we just leave them here like this, isn't it likely for that cat to play around with them [reword later]?

Heisuke: It's as you say though since they were already left in a mess, maybe that cat messed them up [reword later].

Souji: In that case, why don't we just put them all into a box? They can be also put into a closet where the cat won't be able to reach them.

Saito: ………………What!?

Harada: If that happens, won't we be unable to move!?

Hijikata: This bastard/guy, he just had to come up with such a rotten idea right now!

Heisuke: Let's hold onto them for the time being then. Anyway, we still need to come back later and give give the report for our patrol. At the time, we can return these to Hijikata-san.

Souji: You're not thinking about taking these back to your room to prank them because you're upset about the faces of these dolls, right [i think? reword later]?

Heisuke: This idea of yours won't be any good/You're the only one who would come up with such a bad idea... well, then I'll take the Sano-san and Kazama dolls for to hold onto for safekeeping.

Kazama: Kuh......! Things are getting more and more complicated...

--To be continued...?---

[weebtarurights]

Tsuzuru Minagi R ( Knights of Round IV )

Read full translation under the cut!

Story Title:  “ Last Boss Reinforcement Period“

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ PART 1 ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Izumi: Alright, the salad is ready. Tsuzuru: Thank you so much. I'm done simmering the soup too. Izumi: By the way, Tsuzuru-kun. How's your role study for the next performance? Tsuzuru: Uh-- well, I'm still a little worried. I want to be faithful to the original material but I'm having trouble with the direction... Izumi: Your next role as Merlin is a wizard, same with your role in Oz. Tsuzuru: That's right but this time I am the last boss and I have to be more ominous or else it won't be appealing. Izumi: I think it's quite surprising and interesting  since Tsuzuru-kun is going to be the last boss. Tsuzuru: It's indeed surprising but it's quite hard to get a grip of Merlin's last boss after his betrayal. Izumi: Last boss feels... Itaru-san was the last boss during Oz’s play. Tsuzuru: He was too aggressive. It was overwhelming. Come to think of it, Itaru-san performed magic tricks that time, right? Izumi: You were busy writing in your room but Chikage-san saw it. Itaru: I'm home. Tsuzuru: Speak of the devil... Itaru: Hm? What is it? Izumi: Actually---- Itaru: I see. You need a direction for Merlin's role making, right? Tsuzuru: I want to express the malevolence and horror of the original Merlin. Itaru: Then how about spending the entire day tomorrow as the last boss? Tsuzuru: As the last boss? What on earth are you talking about? I can't possibly do that! Itaru: Tsuzuru....You have no idea how fearsome Merlin is. Izumi: F-fearsome? Itaru: Right. He's the kind of guy who pretends to be a friend and deceives his allies. You won't be able to express Merlin's horrifying  existence unless the role itself becomes your normal life. Tsuzuru: The hell.... Itaru: It doesn't matter whether it's impossible for you or not. Just do it.   Tsuzuru: Why do I feel like you're the only one who will enjoy this... Sigh.... I got it. I'm really worried about what to do for my role making.  I might be able to get something out of it so I'll try it anyway. I’ll take on this challenge tomorrow.

Tsuzuru: "For role making purposes: Please cooperate" ...I'm all set. Itaru: Are you planning to go around with that  whiteboard? Tsuzuru: It's my assurance! I'm going to play as Merlin today and I don't want to stir up misunderstandings. Citron: Tsuzuru is wassail! [1] Tsuzuru: You mean, worried! Citron-san too, this has nothing to do with you. Citron: Tsuzuru is going to be the last boss for a day. It looks interesting! I'm sure it's going to be funny so there's no way I'll miss this immunity![2] Itaru: Not immunity, it's opportunity. But I do understand your feelings. Tsuzuru: Hey, aren't you planning to become a complete onlooker here? Itaru: Anyway, Tsuzuru, as today's last boss, you must imitate Merlin's tone and gesture at the end of the ga--- Sakyo: ? What are you punks standing here for?

Tsuzuru: : You must be kidding.... Itaru: Opponent difficulty: Max...  appeared right off the bat. Citron: Tsuzuru!  You'll never become the last boss if you fail here. Tsuzuru: For the sake of role making... I-I have to do it...! ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ PART 2 ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ Tsuzuru: ..... Sakyo: What up with you... Minagi? Tsuzuru: Fuu.... I commend your courage for calling me. However, I can easily defeat you by merely lifting my finger! Itaru and Citron: ...... Sakyo: Aah?

Tsuzuru: Ugh.... Sakyo: ? That whiteboard... I see. So that was it. Tsuzuru: I, I'm sorry. Citron: Tsuzuru! Apologizing for the white board is no good! Also defeating him with your finger is too gentle! You need enough power to defeat him by merely looking! Itaru: Also, it's better if you have a deadly technique at the end... "Rupture o’ dark wind,  WIND OF DARKNESS!"... or something.   Tsuzuru: There's no way I'll be able to think of a technique right away! Sigh....I have a tough road ahead of me. Izumi: Everyone, we still have lots of food. Make sure to eat a--- Tsuzuru: Kuku, I'm amazed how you can eat and drink so carelessly. Izumi: ......! Itaru: Merlin! How dare you show your face at this peaceful table.... Unforgivable! Izumi:  (I-Itaru-san is acting as Lancelot too...) Citron: I never thought I'd see your face again. Sakuya: Bastard! You tricked us! Masumi: H-H-How dare you interrupt everyone's precious meal....! I will protect this table at all costs! Chikage: Ah, let us settle it this time.....! Tsuzuru: No matter how many of you, weaklings, gather to face me, the result is going to be the same. Eat this, “FINSTERNIS STURM!"

Itaru: Guaaaahhh! Yuki: Ahh, enough! You're so noisy!! I can't eat in peace! I’m banning all of you from doing role study during meals! Izumi: Ahahaha... Tsumugi:  The ban for Winter Troupe from doing daily musicals was just lifted and we already got bans on doing role study during meals. Izumi: (...I also want to eat in peace.)

NOTES: 1) Citron mistook “乾杯” (kanpai) or cheers for “心配” (shinpai) or worried. 2) Citron used the phrase "逃す手はない" (nogasu te wa nai ) literally read as "no hands to miss". It is an expression used to describe an opportunity or chance you cannot overlook or miss. Though he mistook the kanji "毛" (hair) for "手"( hands).

[rqs902]

on one hand im happy that this means there’s gonna be a lot of official content since the eps are supposedly so long that they gotta cut them in half. 

youku has been pretty consistent with giving us a relatively good amount of official content. but on the other hand im always slightly concerned that by splitting up perfs, those whose perfs get aired first will have a competitive voting advantage since (as long as they do well) those kids will have a full extra day of persuading people to vote for them through their stage performance. It’s not as huge of a deal as when other shows split performances across weeks, because a whole week ahead is a much bigger advantage than one day ahead. but every day can help those who need the votes. at least akey and zhan yu got aired today.... feels bad for jin fan because he really needs the votes. 

also another down side is just this show’s eps are SO LONG they’re eating up a ton of my free time LOOOL but thats how these shows always go for me... because I always end up taking like double the amount of time to watch an ep, just to pause, digest, rewatch sections that i like (sometimes multiple times), make sure i understand, etc. i feel like these shows always consume my life during the few months they’re airing so i’ll just enjoy it while I can HAH

..

anyway ep 4 starting with singapore buddies huang junrong and sun yinghao speaking english with their singapore accents!!!!! lol can totally relate to yinghao tho, like when you cant read chinese you gotta find someone to translate for you

yang chaowen with dog!!!!! i wonder if the dog really likes him LOL they seem to appear together on camera often. akey with chen junhao!! and zuo linjie!! making friends!!!

lol i feel like the group leader choice method is some sort of extended advertisement for knock off apple products lol.........

HAHAHHAHAHAH LIN MO’S VIDEO STARTING OFF ALL FORMAL AND NERVOUS AND THEN XUE EN’S CUTS HIM WITH HIM BEING STUPID. I LOVE IT. there’s two types of people. how did they not vote for xue en HAHAHAH

interesting that they picked the songs for the self-composition group ahead of time, rather than make them make the song as part of the competition (looks at produce camp... fireman is my jam but the east binhe road team ran into complications with that, so I can see why it’d be more risky to let them do that again) but lucky for zheng renyu and li chenxu tho! I’m interested in hearing their music so i dont mind, just kinda wondering what the other kids who picked composition would’ve brought to the table

oh theyre still giving yan an screen time... every time i see him im happy but then feel oof

oo zhanyu’s first stage look is just so nice oof xikan talking to lin mo but lin mo looks ded and is all eye patched up :( 

LOL su er all jubilant over a sexy concept song - good luck with that

oooof this shot of jin fan’s perfect side angle 

aw akey being bested by shaopeng at every match... but im so excited to see what they can do together, theyre both so good at making music!!!! the resident music makers for each of their respective groups, tyger and coreone, theyre both so talented! def shaopeng has and deserves the credit but hopefully people will see akey contributed too bc im sure the two of them really led together, being the most experienced rappers hahaha

WHOA csp opening up to qu boyu and saying he has older step brother and sister who have a different mom from him and encouraging him to just be real when writing because there will be people out there who connect with his lyrics awww hes really taking this child under is wing and teaching him from zero, hes really like a big bro taking care of him and enjoying watching him grow. im glad csp is opening up and is self reflective enough to realize that he hasnt done so enough in the past and that he should involve himself more with the others. 

im happy cui shaopeng got to feature in the bts clip for his group, he deserves it and hasnt gotten much screentime relative to his talent before. im happy akey got a little time and some recognition for his skills too. honestly just happy akey FINALLY got to do a rap stage..... wish we couldve gotten more huang enyu and huang junrong but im happy they got to show off their vocals!! for being young vocals in a rap performance, their stage presence were both really good too! csp’s entrance is epic wow. 

wow this is the most hyper performance ive ever seeeen wow im so happy for akey because we know how long hes been waiting for a rap stage and wow csp’s leadership must be top notch to get this group to somehow be cohesive with such a not cohesive song LOL i respect that csp really respected akey’s skill and let him shine too. akey was a second c if ive ever seen one lol. they both got to shine and so did everyone else in their group, which is telling of his leadership and why this stage turned out so well that even all the teachers like jackson were so hype LOL 

OOF shen bohuai and lin mo talking about how akey’s lyrics are so moving like lin mo wanted to cry and bohuai felt like he could tell akey’s been through a lot

lol xikan and bohuai being all tough and lin mo being like lol i feel the pressure. shaopeng smiling like a proud parent when boyu gets good comments c: oof rip akey and shaopeng’s votes tho :c 

lin ran’s look tho LOL but zhan yu’s is so questionable?? why is he in this group ?? LOL but i guess its his turn to do something cutesy. mannnn why does zhan yu look like hes surrounded by children but hes not even that much older//?? hahahha ooooo is this the center zhan yu of legend?? ?hahahah yayyy hopefully more people will notice him! you know when i heard zhan yu was gonna be center, this was not the type of song i was imagining, but hey if it takes a cutesy happy song and a bunch of little kids around to get zhan yu a chance to be center, ill take it! i wish they’d show us some practice footage?? im confused why there isnt any?? i think sun boran’s stage presence is good! zhan yu’s voice so powerful yess somehow he managed to show off different aspects of his vocal skills in this very plain song LOL  im surprised lin ran didnt stand out a lot but when they pointed out that he purposefully put himself in the back to protect his team members i think that makes sense bc he knows being cute isn’t going to be able to win them as many votes but if the less popular kids in his group dont get votes, its a lot more devastating for them than for himself. lin ran didnt want this song and he didnt want to be cute but he really didnt want kids to suffer from choosing his group. lin ran has a cute image but i appreciate that this time we got to see a more serious side of him. isnt it ridiculous that theyve literally trashed zuo qibo and lin mo about being old but then literally i didnt realize until now sun yinghao is the oldest??? (he looks really young wow and so tiny aw) but also like they never bring up akey being old either?? some sort of weird bias going on... but i mean good for yinghao and akey lol 

but aw im glad theyre giving yinghao some attention... 10 years and starting off with jackson? oof... 

ayy zhan yu getting the most votes!! 

kou cong being older bro to zlj but also ultimate mentor to cxh aw yay for him getting some recognition from the judges and jin fan supporting him too heheh but it says a lot that he recognizes cxh’s efforts and wanted to put in his own effort to help him

i wonder if them giving zlj less audience votes is an elaborate scheme to get him more pity votes from the general public lol.... well im excited to see the rest of the stages tomorrow! 

[beeyeah]

Jikook: Appeal to Logic

Title: Appeal to Logic

Summary: /Jikook/ Two-shot/ Canon/ Where Jimin tries to convince Yoongi why he was positive Jungkook likes him and Yoongi asks him, “What would you do with that information?”

Indeed, Jimin wonders what the point was to all this.

Notes: I wanted to post on Valentine’s but I guess my calendar is ten days late hhhhh Anyway, I lurk a lot in Jikook tags (like I’m here everyday) and I’ve read long discourses regarding the legitimacy of their relationship. I thought it’d be interesting if one of them begins to share his proofs too and joins the hot pot of convo his own way. TLDR; enter this fic lol I promise it won’t be 20 chapters this time. 

Chapter 1 under cut or you can read at Ao3

Chapter 1: Points Were Made

It was an on and off thing.

Like a passion project that you know you just would figure how to complete someday but needed time because life would get in the way.

Today though marked the moment Park Jimin was ready to lay out his cards and tell someone that definitely… maybe… with a little more sprinkle of confidence that --

“Hyung, I think Jungkook likes me.”

There was silence in Min Yoongi’s room when the statement was pronounced. It made Jimin squirm on his seat as he tried to understand the non-committal stare directed at him, right behind the bond paper that held Jimin’s scribbled notes for lyrics.

Ah, that was right.

His initial purpose was to hear Yoongi’s feedback on a thing he'd been working on. Somewhere along the way, his thoughts drifted to another which inevitably led to his bold declaration of Jungkook’s far from familial, alleged infatuation for him.

Yoongi reached out to his left where his mug of coffee sat.

“I don't know what you want me to say. Of course, Jungkook likes you.”

Jimin frowned, wrapping his head around how he should explain himself. “No, hyung. I mean Jungkook likes me.”

Yoongi’s mouth was slightly gaped and his eyes were blank. His hyung looked lost while he attempted to blink his confusion away.

Well, his observations go way way back, two years worth of evidence. Right in the hallway of their home, an evening in October.

“Jungkook treats me differently,” he told Yoongi, legs crossed and under him as he put up a finger and discussed his first point.

It wasn't as if it was only him who questioned it. Jungkook only gave Jimin a birthday present in the span of the past years, no one else and that got to mean something.

They were all tired from shoot that most of them were tempted not to shower. Hoseok was pushing him around and urging him to a quick bath before lying on his bed because that was what Hoseok was. He liked things clean and perfect and that same rule applied for his roommate. But then Jeon Jungkook, his beloved dongsaeng, appeared out of nowhere and blocked him from his merry way to the bathroom. A little awkwardly might he add because he stood there, hand fiddling with his fringes and eyes searching the floor in trepidation. At that point, both Jimin and Hoseok unlatched themselves from each other's grip to attend to the youngest who seemed to need some attention.

To his surprise, and perhaps his hyung’s too, Jungkook held out his hand and shoved Jimin a paper bag. Hoseok curiously peeked from his shoulder as Jimin tried to open it while muttering, “What's this?”

Jungkook answered with a shrug and he waited. He waited there and watched Jimin opened his present.

It wasn't even anything grand. In this stage of their career, they were just beginning to gain traction from their first win and as Namjoon had put it, at breakeven, to finally enjoy the fruits of their hard labor. Knowing how their earnings were distributed based on performance and royalty fees, Jimin was pretty sure Jungkook received the same profit he did. To be honest, it wasn't exactly much. The only difference was that Jimin was prone to lavish it on people while Jungkook would save it for practical and grander things.

The practical, grander things in Jungkook’s head was Jimin. Bought him a sweatshirt which costed around 44,000 krw. Jimin researched the price because he was curious how much the maknae was willing to spend on him.

No greeting cards. Not a high end brand. Just plain white paper bag from the department store where he bought his first gift for a Bangtan member.

Needless to say, Jimin was ecstatic and made sure to rub it on everyone's face.

“Jimin-ah,” Yoongi tried to interrupt him but he shushed the older with an afterthought.

“It wasn't the gift that's strange. Jungkook's face was really weird when I thanked him.”

Jimin knew Jungkook well enough to know when he was happy. Whatever gratefulness he saw on Jimin’s face translated on how satisfied Jungkook was on what he did. There was a sense of pride and innocent glee in Jungkook’s eyes similar to the way they would twinkle when he was offered cheesecake or lamb skewers. It was odd how he was comparing himself to food but Yoongi would probably understand the reference. He would bring Jungkook to lamb skewers so often that the maknae even vowed to stay with him forever if he would agree to become business partners.

That was beside the point.

Back then, Jimin thought he was onto something but the idea didn't linger because it was indeed a special occasion. Jungkook was a good dongsaeng and treated his hyung well even outside their birthdays so, on a second thought, it wasn't really much of an evidence.

The hand that held Jimin’s lyrics now dangled limply over the office chair’s armrest.

“Jimin-ah, just get to the point.”

Jimin pursed his lips. As far as he was concerned, he was straightforward from the get-go. He thought Jungkook likes him and he stated the fact right on, now presenting his evidence.

“Number two,” he said after lifting another finger. Perhaps Yoongi wanted him to speed things up and he should. He certainly didn't have all day with their comeback looming around the corner. “Jungkook thinks I'm beautiful.”

Yoongi’s confusion had more color to it this time. Beyond his blinking eyes that questioned where this conversation was headed, his brows met when he spoke, “Should this really be coming out of your own mouth?”

“It didn't come from me. Jungkook told me,” he replied, voice defensive.

“Jungkook thinks you're cute. But so do I. Might as well tell me that all members like you.”

“No,” Jimin answered, tucking his arm in and across his chest. His eyes narrowed, teeth worrying his lips, trying to recall the exact moment that prompted him to ask the youngest. “Ah, that's right,” he muttered when the epiphany came. He searched his pockets for his phone and scrolled through countless and countless of albums of selcas and videos of him with Bangtan.

It was somewhere in there.

“Hyung… this,” he finally said after almost five minutes of sifting through his files.

Yoongi’s back was facing him after he stopped talking to look for his proof. He really should've prepared it beforehand. Now his hyung seemed to have completely lost his interest. He was typically patient to listen, but Jimin interrupted him when he was in the midst of editing a melody submission.

Though Yoongi said it was fine. Jimin would be his breath of fresh air because the team would so rarely go out during crucial period right before their comeback. He knew better not to push the limit but it was tempting and he needed someone to listen to him.

He pulled the bean bag next to his hyung’s leg, lifted his phone so that Yoongi would be able to see what he was referencing to.

His hair was pink, the clip a mere six- seconder. He was staring at the camera, trying to appeal to ARMY. He needed it. There was this greedy part of him that wanted to know how they would react to his flirting. Tell people, ‘Hey, Jimin is right here and this is how he looks right now. His hair changed.’ That kind of drill right before their comeback and their response would in a way boost his confidence. A conscious tactic to keep his fans interested in him perhaps?

“What do you think?”

Yoongi made a face and pulled back to a cringe as he'd expected. Highly likely, he would've done the same thing if any other member showed him a video of themselves. So he merely nodded in agreement. Bangtan wasn't the audience for this video. ARMY was.

“Do you know how Jungkookie reacted when I showed this to him?”

Yoongi sighed. “Would I want to know?”

“He replayed it, hyung,” he said as a matter-of-factly. “He told me I should post it because our fans would love it. Which I did, if you remember.”

“I don't,” Yoongi admitted and turned his chair so that he was facing Jimin, a leg over the other while he waited for him to continue.

“I posted it on Twitter and do you know who posted afterwards?”

“Jungkook?”

It wasn't a wild guess.

“Yeah,” Jimin confirmed the obvious. “After 10 minutes, he posted something and you know what it said?”

No response.

“He posted a song.”

The title was right on the hashtag #ILYSB by Lany.

When it came to music that wasn't in their own language, Jimin would seldom take efforts to find translation. So long as he understood bits and pieces of what little English he knew, he could work around it. Namjoon said to be careful of listening to artists that might cause uproar by association, so he would still have to check it out if he'd want to share it with the fans. But for as much as he believed that lyricism was a key ingredient to any good music, Jimin preferred to feel rather than completely understand and analyze. That job was for their leader.

However, he decided that he wanted to fathom the youngest’s thoughts that night.

The noob part of him thought the title was some secret internet code popular in the west so he searched naver only to be greeted by a simple yet telling I love you so bad. His mouth formed an ‘oh’ when he realized that it might've been an intense confession. It invariably piqued his curious mind so that later he would be listening on loop to… and you need to know that I'm hella obsessed with your face.

“You're reading into it too much,” Yoongi told him with a shake of his head as he reached again for his coffee. “I'm not one to judge who you want to date, but think how this appears to other people.” Yoongi paused, seemingly debating what he should and shouldn't say next. “Jimin-ah, a lot could happen in ten minutes. Like you, Jungkook might be sending that message to the fans. Namjoon recommends a lot of songs. It wouldn't be about us.”

“I know, so I asked him directly.”

Yoongi almost spat his drink on him. He tapped his chest as he drowned out his cough to reaffirm. “Ya, you what?”

“I asked him if the lyrics were about me.”

“And?”

“He laughed,” Jimin confessed.

Truth be told, his ego was slightly hurt to see Jungkook’s initial response to his question. He was serious about it because he was just about more than a quarter sure about his theory. It didn't feel good to have this kid finding amusement to something he pored over. He could've just said ‘no’ outrightly and Jimin wouldn't have minded.

Jungkook’s laughter died down when he saw Jimin’s expression transform and he was reaching out for his hand in apology before he knew it.

Jimin let him hold him.

“It was…” he almost sounded uncertain. “Hyung, why are you being like this?” Sounded almost helpless and then relenting, “Yeah, it was about you. I was nervous so I laughed.” Instinctively, his free hand reached for his fringes like the night of Jimin’s birthday.

When he saw the younger fidget, Jimin felt relieved. Ah, he still knew Jungkook better than anyone. Mindful to see every little shift in the air, Jimin wasn't wrong in reading the situation.

He ruffled Jungkook's head and returned the wide staring with his own curled eyes in amusement. “I knew it,” mumbled to himself and turned once he got the confirmation that he wanted.

“You just left?” Yoongi asked him, tone surprised that it nudged some bafflement at the back of Jimin’s head.

He bobbed his head yes because, well, what else was he supposed to do? He already proved he was right. Yoongi hadn't even heard the rest of his evidences yet.

“Three,” he said to share what was left in his folder.

“Stop,” Yoongi said, planting a foot on Jimin's thigh to emphasize the urgency of his demand.

Jimin slapped the foot away and dusted off his pants.

“Do you even like Jungkook?”

He tilted his head sideways. “Of course,” Jimin answered simply, wondering why it was even a question in the first place. He liked Jungkook. Jungkook was and still is his favorite dongsaeng and BTS member. He'd take care of him even if he grew his muscles and grew taller than him.

Yoongi shook his head. “I don't think we're talking about the same thing.”

“For the third one… ” Jimin took in the opportunity of minute lag on Yoongi’s response to divert the conversation back to the task at hand. He really didn't understand what Yoongi meant but better to finish this off before his momentum dried and faltered.

He picked up his phone again and browsed through his apps. It was quite a long memory lane down Vapp’s timeline until he found the correct reference. He slid the video right on the important moment, him in his bathrobe with Taehyung’s voice singing in the background. The camera was on with Jungkook in his white shirt’s glory, sitting for all ARMY to see.

“That's right… Jimin-hyung is bad at playing games,” Jungkook said to echo his claim.

Back then, the staff berated them silently to turn off vapp. Jungkook was too loud. Jimin wasn't kidding when he said he was hearing him across the hallway. They were only given five hours to eat, take a bath, and nap before they reconvene for post-con review and plan out the adjustments in their set list but this kid chose to do an hour of live for the fans.

Jimin was out his room because Sungdeuk wanted to talk to Hoseok. They needed to work on spacing for Not Today. Their hyung thought they didn't maximize the stage well enough and he was also keen to give feedback on blockings for medley so they could properly execute group choreography for Bultaoreune.

Hoseok was too tired to get up his bed so he texted Jimin if he could get the notes in his place. Which Jimin was happy to do. He loved the fact that Hoseok trusted him and it gave him a sense of pride.

He and Sungdeuk were just about done talking when the older guy stopped him from his tracks by grabbing his arm.

“Can you tell Jungkook to tone it down a little? I heard he opened vapp but everyone's tired.”

Jimin honestly didn't want to deal with it. He was wearing his bathrobe without any make-up and only rushed out in the middle of his evening skin care routine because he wanted to be a useful dongsaeng to Hosoek and let him have an early rest. If he so much as spoke, audible for fans to hear, people were going to ask and he'd have to show himself on camera. Jeon Jungkook, really this kid should know when to stop.

“You know Jungkook listens to you well.”

Jimin jutted out his lower lip, “He doesn't.”

He could already imagine the maknae turning the volume up further for the sake of raising his hackles. Sungdeuk knew this but he was asking Jimin to do it because he knew Jimin couldn't say no when it came to Jungkook.

“Alright, alright,” he said, bobbing his head weakly and dragging his feet towards Jungkook’s room.

Across the end of the floor, he saw Taehyung towing right behind their leader who whispered him something. It made his friend glance at his direction and the next thing he knew, Namjoon was off his room and Taehyung was walking the opposite direction.

Taehyung got hold up by Sungdeuk who was midway his own room and right then, Jimin pressed on Jungkook’s room’s bell and twisted the knob open.

“I heard you from the neighboring room. Let me sleep,” he said, trying to keep his tone annoyed and nagging even when Jungkook was beaming at him so widely. “Stop singing in the middle of the night. Go to sleep.”

“You're losing me here, Jimin-ah. This is just you trying to discipline Jungkook. I would've scolded him the same.”

“Hyung,” Jimin replied sternly, eyes determined and a hand squeezing Yoongi’s thigh. “Did you watch it? Jungkook wanted my attention.”

Yoongi leaned back on his chair, challenging.

“Well, it wasn't even about that.”

His proof went beyond Jungkook's childish yet so endearing attempts to make Jimin come back and join his live. He slid the video right back to the moment and handed his phone in Yoongi’s hand.

When he crashed Jungkook's live that evening, Jimin had every intention to make an impression. After how people disregarded his precious, scant hours of work reprieve, he believed he deserved the screen time. It was tempting to test the waters to say the least. Not just with Jungkook. He wasn't dumb, well aware of his effect when he tried to appeal to someone.

“I don't know why you go to those lengths. They like you already,” Yoongi interrupted him mid-explanation, referencing to their fans. “What's more to prove?”

Jimin wondered to himself why but decided against it. “That's not the point, hyung,” he offered, not wanting to divert from the case at hand. They could ramble on about his insecurities later.

After confiscating the speaker that agitated Namjoon down to coordi noona who just finished fixing damaged buttons of their Blood, Sweat and Tears stage costumes, he went back in Jungkook’s room to greet their fans. A hand comb through his blond hair, cute sounds, zoom the bare face closer to the camera when he knew he just applied mask so he'd look good.

More important than that though was to stare at someone far longer than what was necessary that he’d be conscious to repay the attention. So he did what he knew would work, lure Jungkook's eyes to him and whisper. Mumble because that required someone to pay better heed and read his lips.

“That's not right, I was good at playing games a year ago.”

Then Jungkook would nod absentmindedly and whip his head towards his direction as Taehyung sang Chandelier in the background. Jimin wouldn't say it was the perfect song for the moment but it was good to have a song. Cause Jimin was aware they were recorded. He could go back to this, a song would help with epiphany and drama.

“What do you think?” he asked Yoongi who was squinting at his phone. Doubtful but probably a lot more convinced than he was five minutes ago. “I can be convincing if I want to.” He extended an arm to retrieve his phone.

He fell forward when his hyung suddenly pulled back to keep the small device out of reach. “I don't know if you're being serious about this.”

Jimin titled his head. “I am,” he said. “I am serious. Jungkook really likes me.”

He wasn't unreasonable. The kid had a habit of staring when someone would talk. He observed these things, sometimes obsessively, because it helped him understand the maknae better. So he knew why Jungkook would do it. He found it difficult to focus and physically directing his attention to someone would help him catch what they were trying to say better. It wouldn't be a deal then if Jimin was talking.

But when it was Namjoon who was put on spot to answer an English interview, their leader who still strove to speak a foreign language to represent the group, Jimin quite expected for Jungkook to listen… ogle.

“The korean teacher asked me a question, ‘What are the hardships of being a leader?’”

It wasn’t the first time Jungkook was caught. There was one at a fansign, then at the backstage of a music show, also during that one gayo episode and probably instances he wasn’t aware or the others he couldn’t remember. If Jimin wasn’t so busy overthinking things, he would have found it funny how Jungkook would play it cool and avert his gaze elsewhere. 

“There are hardships when we take positions, specifically being a leader...”

Namjoon continued his answer in the background while Jimin thought to himself what actually goes through the maknae’s head when he would look at him. Was the need so compelling that he’d do it or was Jimin really just that. Beautiful?

“Ya, do you hear yourself?”

Jimin giggled, his head falling back to comfortably rest on the loveseat. It was funny to call himself beautiful. Even he wouldn’t be that shameless.

The point still stands though. Jungkook would stare at him, and he would call him beautiful.

“It has to mean something right?”

He wanted to confirm the motivations behind the not-so-subtle attention. However, he didn’t want to do a repeat of the last time when he confronted Jungkook about the song. It made the air between them strained and the youngest would agonize in his presence. Jimin thought he was being shy so he’d hold back.

But then what about his own curiosity?

“You’re curious, that’s it,” Yoongi said plainly. “What would you do with that information?”

Jimin pursed his lips as he thought about it. 

Good point. Where was he leading with all these? He didn’t think that far enough. He wasn’t even done with his final proof.

“What do you think, hyung? What should I do about it?”

...To be continued

[lordmartiya]

lord Martiya’s Lilanette Week 2018/2019 Day 4

@lilanette-week

This one was quite funny to make, especially as I wrote Adrien’s ability for delusions-and has the most awesome Lila scene I’ve written so far, my little attempt to top the Lila of The Grand Deception. Tell me if what she pulls is comparable, ok?

Day 4: Akumatized

After the ball, things had changed drastically in Marinette’s relationships. After taking advantage of the opening provided by their common friend, Lila had done her best to impress her-and had done a good enough job she could have had her way with her, had she not showed more restraint than even Lila herself thought (it had been obvious in hindsight that the Italian girl had really wanted that), impressing Marinette even more in the process. Enough that, before they kissed (and Lila had given her more than enough time to move away), Marinette had proposed they exchanged their hair ribbons.

Now half the school was likely convinced they were dating, something that Marinette would have once been dreading due the chance of Adrien joining the group too… Except she wasn’t minding too much, she had noticed a couple days previously while she and Tikki put up a few pictures of Lila in her room. She had even started talking more smoothly to Adrien and transferred some of the stutter to Lila-especially whenever the fox girl would suddenly come too close with her face.

On the other hand she had been growing a bit irritated with Alya and Nino, as they seemed to have made their mission to keep her from staying alone with Lila and pushing her into Adrien’s arms. And she wasn’t the only one growing irritated, considering the previous day she had seen Lila venting by going to the two guys who had been bullying Nathaniel and Marc over their relationship and tricking them into punching each other’s fist-sure, it had ended any homophobic bullying at their school for the time being, but Lila still had got two guys to shatter their hands.

Thus, given she had a date with Lila planned for after the school, she had decided to confront them on that as soon as they arrived to school before her very irascible love interest got Akumatized again-and of course they were denying everything.

“Guys, I’m not stupid.” Marinette replied.

“But I’m starting to fear they are.” a strangely familiar voice pointed out. Marinette looked to see and, much to her, Alya’s and Nino’s very understandable surprise and shock, they found Rena Rouge. “I mean, they should know that this way they’re far too likely to bring back my superior death-tailed counterpart…”

Just as Marinette registered that “Rena Rouge” had repeated the pun made by the Minefield while Alya wasn’t there but Lila was, a fist suddenly became visible through her and an orange glow dissolved Rena Rouge-and revealed Volpina, wearing Lila’s jacket over her costume.

“What did you say about Rena Rouge and Volpina?!” and of course Alya had to take offense at being called inferior to Volpina.

“I’m saying that Rena Rouge, differently from me, can’t actually play the dizi flute, must remember to tell Ladybug I can give her some lessons.” Volpina replied. “That and, no matter how good she’ll become with the power of illusions, she just isn’t ruthless enough to use it at its fullest-I mean, I doubt she’d even think to use an illusion showing her taking someone hostage like I did.”

“Mmmgrr…”

“But that’s not important right now. What is important, Marinette, is that right now I’ve got the power of illusion and I’m fully in control, and can think of quite a few things to use it for in our date before I call Ladybug and give it up.”

While Marinette tried to guess if this time Volpina was a supervillain or was indeed her Lila with superpowers she saw a familiar mask of light appear before Volpina’s eyes-and her reply was the most awesome thing Marinette had ever seen since her first Miraculous Cure washed over Paris.

“Listen up, a’ stronzo ’ncorvattato, I’m not giving up my plans for the day for your sake, so you’ll better take a day of rest because if you do take away my powers or otherwise interfere with my date I shall scour the world searching for the cheapest copies of the ugliest jewels and pieces of clothing ever made for the Bling-Bling fashion, use them to assemble an outfit so tacky that Adrien Agreste could have his father wrapped around his finger simply by threatening to wear it in public, force you into it, and lock you into a closet with Madame Bourgeois!”

And with that, the light that signaled Papillon talking with an Akumatized villain disappeared while Volpina dusted her hands off, much to the shock of the entire class-both at the threat (because even Chloe could admit her mother was an incredibly nasty person, especially when confronted with a horrible outfit) and the fact it had scared Papillon away.

“Again, Alya, this is why Rena Rouge is inferior: considering half the things I’ve heard about that woman she would never think to make such a threat. Then again, maybe that means she’s a better person.” Volpina continued. Then she turned to Marinette, put a finger under her still open mouth, and asked: “Is this an invitation?”

“Uh? Agh! No! Yes! I mean-! STOP DOING THAT!”

“I just can’t get enough of that. Anyway, still going out with me today?”

“Yes! Yes! My god, that was awesome…”

Volpina smiled… And then the purified Akuma popped out of her left hair ribbon, leaving behind a rather bemused Lila. ____________________________________ As he returned home for the day, Adrien was in a strange mood. On one hand he was happy f0r Marinette and that Lila had turned over a new leaf, but on the other hand he didn’t like that it wasn’t him at Marinette’s side. If he wasn’t already in love with Ladybug he’d swear he was jealous.

“Welcome home, Adrien. How was your day?”

Adrien turned in surprise-his father never came to greet him at the door. That, and he looked strange. Probably some trouble on the job again.

“Just a bit strange-Lila was Akumatized again.” he replied, and feigning to have missed his father’s twitch-he didn’t exactly like Lila, ever since she had admitted her part in the book trouble. “But it was a strange Akumatization, she kept full control and even scared Papillon by threatening to dress him horribly and lock him in a room with Chloe’s mom if he took away her powers.”

“He threatened him with Audrey?! I wouldn’t do that to my worse enemy.”

“She can’t be that bad…”

“She’s worse. Enough I thought Papillon wouldn’t dare to Akumatize her-that’s the whole reason I gave her that second row seat.”

Adrien took a moment to digest the fact his father had dumped Audrey Bourgeois with serial killers and other people that Papillon was too decent and/or intelligent to Akumatize, then continued relating what had happened.

“Anyway, right after that Lila became so happy she accidentally purified the Akuma, and-father? Father?!”

Adrien wondered why did his father just ran and locked himself in his office before activating the security system-it wasn’t like he was Papillon, and even then Lila didn’t have the means to actually enact that threat. Or did she, and his father thought she’d come there believing they had information useful to track him down? After all, they had a book with information on the Miraculouses and Lila had seen it…

What Does the Fox Says

As many of you guys may have noticed, just as Rena Rouge’s design includes nine “tails” (two in the tuxedo-like tails of her costume and the rest in her hair), so Volpina’s design has four (the belt, the side locks and her immense mane of hair)-and given how terrifying Volpina was, a certain someone obviously had to make a pun with the fact one of the Japanese words for “four” sounds like “death”.

Returning with the phrases in Romanesco: this time it translates as “tie-wearing piece of shit” (as many of you guys know, I use “Papillon” rather than “Hawk Moth” because in Italy a “papillon” is the bowtie and allows me to use that pun). I guess that the side effects of Akumatization impaired Lila’s ability to come up with better insults…

[dailytechnologynews]

GloFo 7nm: A Lost Hope

So as you may know GloFo 7nm was recently cancelled, in this article im going to analyze all of what this implies in a lot of levels but mostly on the technical one, both in short and long term

before beginning please have in mind:

1) im Spanish and my english writing might be poor, also this is by far the longest article ive ever wrote and it took me 2 and a half Hours to complete, there can be mistakes but don't be harsh pls

2) i currently own a bit of AMD stock, this means I focus on them more, but as you will see this doesn't affect my thinking

3) i link various articles in this one, i recommend you reading them for better comprehension

4) this article contains A LOT of estimates, they are based on public knowledge, if some of that knowledge turns out to be false or inaccurate the estimates based on it do the same, however they are the best that I can do, if I had more hard data I will use it. in particular, my estimates about TSMC 7nm are… weak and early, please don't complain about them, its the best I can do without more hard data

9001) WARNING: this article is LONG, the character count its literally OVER 9000!!!!

with that said lets begin

The first important question is WHY? Why did GloFo cancel their 7nm node? the answer is simple: MONEY, this quote from anandtech sums things up:

So, the key takeaway here is that while the 7LP platform was a bit behind TSMC’s CLN7FF when it comes to HVM – and GlobalFoundries has never been first to market with leading edge bulk manufacturing technologies anyway – there were no issues with the fabrication process itself. Rather there were deeper economic reasons behind the decision.

the full article is here: https://www.anandtech.com/show/13277/globalfoundries-stops-all-7nm-development

The second question is: how does GloFo 7nm compare to TSMC 7nm, because if glofo’s node was worse than TSMC's then the only loss here would be the competition, well this is absolutely not the case, GloFo 7nm was superior than TSMC 7nm, maybe by a wide margin, but this depends literally of thousands of factors, so the best that i can do is to approximate the final answer basing on all that we know first we have to know the specifics of GloFo 7nm, here is an excellent article containing them and more: https://fuse.wikichip.org/news/641/iedm-2017-globalfoundries-7nm-process-cobalt-euv/ if you read the article and understand most of it, you have my respect, but lets list the facts that we care about:

1) 55% power reduction at the same frequency

2) 40% frequency improvement at the same power

3) extremely tuned fin profiles

4) cobalt for some critical layers, improving interconnect speed and drastically reducing electromitigation, this is very important as the wall to reaching high clocks is interconnect speed

this looks extremely nice, but how does this translate into real world max clocks? Well if you assume the GloFo chart was linear then the results are very good, here is a calibration based in real data, done in the anandtech forums by /u/catmerc (thanks!): https://forums.anandtech.com/threads/next-gen-zen-2-3-starship-and-derivatives.2511914/page-3#post-39322122 you watched right: 4,6 GHz at the same power you would get 3,3 GHz on 14nm, WOW, this means that (again if the chart was linear) 5 GHz wouldn't be far fetched at all, this is probably too good and my estimations are that GloFo 7nm was a bit worse than what this chart implies, still I think 5 GHz would have been doable, but only for single core turbo, just in case: im referring to the SoC version, clocks on 7HPC would have been ludicrous

now we have to analyze how good TSMC 7nm is, this is harder to know and there is less data about this but lets do it anyway. first we have to get the advertised numbers, and those are 60% power reduction at the same frequency or 30% frequency improvement at the same power, source: https://www.anandtech.com/show/12677/TSMC-kicks-off-volume-production-of-7nm-chips, this is starting to look worse than GloFo from the first moment, however there is a big issue here: the bases are different, GloFo bases their 7nm numbers on their 14nm, and TSMC does it over their 16nm+ this makes comparison hard, I remember that TSMC 16nm clocked higher than Samsung 14nm which is the same as GloFo 14nm, but consumed a bit more and was less dense, I cant source those claims but if you look at the numbers they make sense, anyway this approach failed as a solid comparison point so lets move on, how about taking the words of their clients? Spoiler alert: worse than GloFo

Speed gains of 16% at 10 nm may dry up at 7 nm due to resistance in metal lines. Power savings will shrink from 30% at 10 nm to 10–25% at 7 nm, and area shrinks may decline from 37% at 10 nm to 20–30% at 7 nm, said Paul Penzes, a senior director of engineering on Qualcomm’s design technology team. source: https://www.eetimes.com/document.asp?doc_id=1333109

Arm claims that the latest 7-nm nodes will only deliver 2% to 3% more speed than the 16-nm node. “There hasn’t been much frequency benefit at all since 16 nm … wire speed hasn’t scaled for some time,” said Peter Greenhalgh, an Arm fellow and vice president of technology. source: https://www.eetasia.com/news/article/18060102-arm-announces-high-performance-laptop-cpu

so basically two clients of TSMC are saying that there are close to none clock gains on 7nm (compared to 10nm, this is important) and I know they mean TSMC and not GloFo because they both say the problem is interconnect speed which if you remember from above is one of the things GloFo 7nm improved a lot thanks to cobalt and other things, also GloFo is a much smaller fab, it was going to get into HVM later and most people were going to use TSMC anyway. So now we know TSMC 7nm isn't as good as GloFo 7nm was, but by how much? Well a little time ago I made a prediction of how Ryzen 3000 would clock on both nodes, I recently updated it to reflect that AMD will use the HPC variant: https://www.reddit.com/r/aceshardware/comments/923t76/ryzen_3000_clock_predictions/ so there is your answer, a not at all laughable 300 MHz loss, but I think you also want to know how did I get to that concussion, well… it is a bit tricky and fail prone also it has a 100mhz or higher margin of error, anyway here it goes: the base is Ryzen 7 1800X which turbos up to 4 GHz on GloFo 14LPP TSMC 16nm+ clocks higher than GloFo 14lpp but lower than 12LP, 4,2GHz is my best estimate, TSMC 10nm should give about 5% of a boost to max clocks (remember max clocks ALWAYS increase less than “performance” for high end CPUs) that gets us to >4,4 GHz, going from 10nm to 7nm should give a negligible boost of around 2% but this is just enough to put that number on 4,5 GHz, this is the number for the mobile variant, but as i discovered during the writing of this article, AMD is going to use the HPC variant which features a 7.5 track library instead of the 6 track one found in the mobile variant it also should use fater interconnects, finding how much will this variant boost clocks is again as there is EVEN LESS data on it, the only numbers that I could find are +13% perf over the mobile variant and up to 4,4 GHz speed for the sram(L* cache), cache usually is a bit slower than the CPU itself so this doesnt mean the limit is 4,4 GHz. with all of this my estimation for 7nm HPC is 4,7 GHz which is still lower than the GloFo 7nm SoC version, have in mind im being a bit cautious with this one 4,8 GHz is possible , just for laughs if we compared max clocks of GloFo 7nm HPC(IBM only) vs TSMC 7nm HPC the difference will be ~0,8GHz, LOL just LOL (the number is serious tough) as you can see this is tricky as is based on estimates over estimates, however there are some limits to how good or how bad it can clock, so while my number might (and possibly will) fail, it cant fail by much The third question is: who this affects and how does it? The answer is AMD, IBM, Intel, TSMC and maybe Samsung, so lets analyze how it affects everyone on that list

AMD: Negatively

after the previous paragraph you can see why: 300-200mhz loss its not good, but this is just the tip of the iceberg, even if GloFo continued with 7nm AMD might have chosen TSMC 7nm for ryzen 3000 because of time constraints, the really bad thing about this is that the clocks of TSMC nodes are expected to be flat until 3nm which will mean a tech change from finfet to gaafet, this means Intel has 3-4 years of wide and increasing clock leadership so the only way AMD can beat Intel’s performance in the desktop market is through big IPC increases, which are unlikely to be big enough,still AMD should be able to beat Intel in value (perf/price) by a very good margin, server and laptop market are a VERY different story and I expect AMD to do very well on those. another HUGE concern for AMD should be prices, with near zero competition TSMC can increase prices both on the short and the long term, similar to the DRAM market, this means either smaller margins for AMD or higher final product prices.

for those all reasons I did cut my personal stock price target for AMD by a BIG 20%, yes you heard right: the day before the announcement I thought AMD was going to reach a 25% (because percentages work that way) higher price than today, im not going to say what my exact price targets are but I believe AMD is going to go up from the current price, just much less than before

IBM: Negatively, VERY negatively

well.. this guys really take the worst part, basically they have no node suitable for their high-end CPUs for the foreseeable future, glofo spun off an ASIC group which is said to help port costumer designs to other nodes, the problem is that there is no high performance 7nm class node apart from intel 10nm (if they fix it)

Intel: Positively

a lot of what I said for AMD applies here in reverse, Intel basically has an assured performance lead in the desktop market over AMD, but still they will have to compete to a denser, cheaper to produce 7nm chip lineup with their 14nm one, their server market share is still posed to get lower maybe by a bog amount

TSMC: Positively, VERY positively

on the short term they get more volume and therefore revenue, and in a now 2-player game (3 if intel opens its fabs) they get the ability to increase or even pact prices

Samsung: Positively

Samsung on the short term will probably see no gains, but on the long term they might win some designs, however the big win for them is the lack of competency driving prices an therefore margins up

YOU, the consumer: Negatively

as per the points stated above you might get more expensive chips, and maybe even worse ones, cutting-edge node development is mindblowingly expensive and that maybe is an understatement, with less competition tsmc and samsung might opt to do less aggressive jumps to save a huge amount of money on RD, this remains to be seen, it may not happen, but the possibility is out there and I wont dismiss it

to end I would like to quote an excellent comment from /u/nagromo which summarizes perfectly some of my thoughts:

I was hopeful that IBM research working with them meant it would be more like "IBM 7nm, manufactured by GloFo", similar to how they've done well with Samsung 14nm. I still think there's a decent chance it really was on track, and they're telling the truth and just think they can be more profitable using their successful 12/14nm technologies instead of investing $10B+ into 7nm. I'm really disappointed to hear this. I thought it was a reasonable hope that the IBM research team would be able to achieve or approach their 40% performance, 55% power numbers. There's rumors about poor performance from TSMC 7nm. My hopes for Ryzen 3 aren't nearly as high as they were yesterday.

this article was originally wrote by me to /r/aceshardware

[bffhreprise]

Best Friend For Hire Reprise, Entry 393

 I had loved this day since the first time I noticed it after taking on my role as Death.  December was packed full of beautiful days here, such as Mick’s birthday.

 Mick had finally grown reasonably accustomed to his newfound abilities as a wereraven, but we still celebrated his birthday at Somerset Estate rather than at his father’s house.  The Storms let loose, using their magical abilities as much as they wanted without fear.  Mick showed off his control of shapechanging and how well he could fly.  It was cute.

 Later, James’ father enjoyed his birthday at Somerset Estate as well.  He and his wife gushed over how large Alma’s stomach was, begging for a guess at when the baby would be born.  Unbeknownst to them, she had said the truth, giving them the exact day.  James II and Rachel enjoyed the small feast Marco had prepared for them, not wanting to overwhelm them with his normal preparations at James’ behest.  Dani performed a traditional song and dance act from her home world, minus the nudity, and James III gave an adorably modest translation of the lyrics, finding the actual lyrics too lewd for his parents.  Everyone enjoyed it, though Jarod was wondering once again if Dani was alien.

 Jemal and Maple had a private celebration for Maple’s birthday, taking advantage of the Intergalactic House of Awesome Sauce’s discount and enjoying a little time truly alone, at least in their minds.  When Maple’s family arrived at Somerset Estate for the main party, their reactions amused James.  He alway loved the sense of wonder people had with their first glimpse of his home.  Maple’s little sister, Rowan, insisted on applying that day.  James would accept her, of course.  He wasn’t in the habit of turning down promising people.

 Maple and Rowan bickered playfully over whether or not Rowan had paid attention when Maple had previously described her work.  James couldn’t resist interrupting the argument with a small display of magic and an explanation of the family’s history, though he claimed I had dug up some ancient documents on the father’s line instead of watching first hand as I actually had.

 Noelle’s sister and brother-in-law showed up for Christmas to celebrate with Noelle, believing it would be easier than having her try to meet up with them.  Dejon helped Noelle remember her brother-in-law’s name, since she really wanted to, leaving Jamie dumbfounded at both Noelle remembering something and Noelle clinging to a guy affectionately.  At the end of the celebrations, Jamie received a final surprise for the day when Noelle stated with absolute certainty that she had a wonderful time.  Jamie was far more accustomed to Noelle not being certain about anything.

 Despite how wonderful those days had been, I still enjoyed today even more.  When Alma went into labor, James’ parents rushed to the house, surprised that no hospital would be involved.  They worked out why between themselves on the drive over, realizing that Alma’s inhuman abilities might make for some difficult explanations.

 Despite the reasonable explanation, Rachel was still shocked by Alma’s condition.  There was no pain for Alma, not that she would have shown any if there had been some.  Rachel received an explanation of Slayer family births that grossly denied the truth of them.  Even as babies, the very strong in the family were strong enough to make their mothers notice.  Some of the babies would have ripped out of the womb had I not taught the family a method to restrain the children till birth.  Alma’s story became far more factual when she explained how her fey heritage was affecting the birth.

 James IV, yet to be named in James III’s mind, knew what was happening.  His mother had taught him speech months ago, playing with him whenever he was awake in a dream-like world she created for the two of them.  James IV, sadly, didn’t possess a strong enough fey heritage to start the communication himself.  Alma wouldn’t experience that until she was pregnant with Aiden, her second son, just like she wouldn’t really understand the strength of a dragon in human form until she was pregnant with Luce.

 “James, are you… I mean… I know she’s brilliant, but…” started James II, trying to find a gentle way to explain his nerves over the supervising physician, me.

 Had he the slightest clue how many births I had witnessed and experienced throughout the multiverse, he still wouldn’t be at ease.  He knew that I was brilliant by human standards, not having a clue of my actual nature, but my child-like form still caused discord in his mind.

 “She’s also planning on delivering her own child soon, so consider this practice for her.” James replied with a shrug, his attention divided between what he imagined happening in the operating room and the asteroid plunging toward earth under Godric’s guidance.

 “What!?” exclaimed James II, completely unable to process that idea.

 “I believe I told you about the artificial womb at Chad’s place.” stated James III, looking at his father curiously.  He was fully aware that his father still struggled with some aspects of his life, but he rightly thought his father was capable of getting a handle on this reality.

 “Well, yes… but…  I didn’t really want to believe it.” admitted James II with a large frown and more than a little mental chiding.

 James III patted his father’s shoulder.  “Strange world, isn’t it?” he asked, smiling considerately.  

 James II nodded, still struggling with himself.

 “As far as Aaliyah’s abilities as a doctor, I trust her completely.  There’s not a single question you could ask about anatomy which she couldn’t answer.  Whether you’d want to sit through the entire explanation is a different matter.” teased James III.

 “She’s just so young…” commented James II more than actually arguing.

 “Unlike most mothers, my wife is completely aware of the position of her baby as well as the child’s mental state.  Being a medical doctor herself, she could manage the whole procedure using her magic if needed.  We have quite a few advantages going for us.  Besides, I’ve told you before that the child won’t be very human physically.  I wouldn’t be too surprised if I’ll have to make a repair or two around here the first time my kid throws a tantrum.” explained James III, who had been preparing himself for over sixty years for this, though he had no clue that many years had passed.

 James II sighed and leaned against the wall.  “You’re awfully calm for a man whose wife is in labor.” he commented.

 James III nodded.

 “Why do you keep looking at the ceiling?” questioned James II as he too glanced upward.

 “Really want to know?” asked James III, knowing his father probably didn’t.  He was doing his best to suppress a degree of anger and not thinking things through as clearly as he should.

 “Well… yes.  Yes, I do.” insisted James II.

 “I believe we’re about to be under attack.  Please, excuse me for a moment.  This won’t take long.” explained James III, darting off in frustration over having to deal with this himself.  He didn’t actually have to, knowing subconsciously that he could just ask me, but he wouldn’t do that.  He took control of the nearby magical node and focused a tiny fraction of the power on changing the asteroid to energy while creating an illusion to hide what actually happened to any potential onlookers, being unconsciously aware of the only three.

 He also healed a number of major injuries around the world, prevented even more, made dozens of children feel comforted, save a vampire that was being chased, interrupted a fight between therianthropes, locked Godric away in his own mansion with enough power to seal him till death, realized that mistake and allowed for a relatively easy way to disperse the spell, fixed three broken cars—they were classics and James thought they deserved better, set forth a chain of events that would lead to the discovery of a little vampire girl, and improved the flavor of particularly vile pot of tea.  Sadly, he wasn’t aware of most things he had done, but he still wasn’t willing to practice wielding that much power.

 When James III came looking for his father, he found both of his parents in the operating room.

 “James!  What’s this about an attack?” questioned Rachel, terrified by the news.

 “Just an asteroid.  It’s gone now.” replied James III calmly.

 “Just an asteroid?  What happened?” inquired James II, who hadn’t taken the news well at all.

 “I utilized a rather large energy source nearby to vaporize it and leave an illusion.  Nothing to worry about.  I promise.” replied James III.  Glancing at his wife, he said, “I may have locked Godric up for a bit.  Sorry.”

 She shrugged and assured him “His fault for picking today.”

 Dani laughed.  “I can’t believe anyone would think an asteroid is a threat.” she stated, completely failing as she tried to think of it as a threat.

 James II stared at her dumbly.

 “What?  Don’t you have a…” she started before her father covered her mouth, certain she was going to mention the planetary defense system of her home world.

 “Sorry.  Dani’s ideas of defense systems can be a little out there for the technology of the world.” he explained, forgetting for a moment that his parents didn’t realize Dani was alien.  After a little mental chiding to himself, he realized his parents probably wouldn’t have taken it how he had meant it anyway.

 “Son, who can blame her given this place.” stated James II, who felt Best Friend For Hire’s technology was incredibly advanced.  He was right about some of it.

 “Still… an asteroid.  Are you sure we’re safe?” questioned Rachel as she stared upward with a worried expression.

 James III spent most of his wife’s labor trying to calm down his parents and explaining that he really could vaporize anything in space with very little effort when he utilized the nearby magical node.  Just after he had finished, James IV was delivered.  Rachel couldn’t believe the ease of the delivery, but she was quickly reminded that there were numerous advantages in play.

 I made a show of examining James IV, and he endured it well, which greatly relieved Alma.  She had done her best to teach her son everything he would need to know on this day, so his grandparents would be safe.  I found her efforts extremely adorable, because she was well aware that I wouldn’t allow mishaps, not today.  I had promised her everything would be fine.  When I had finished the preliminary examination, Alma grew impatient and snatched her child away with a spell, wanting to hold him.

 By the time she had dressed and left the room, a crowd had already gathered to see the newly delivered boy.

 Attempting to look around and finding his mother’s height inadequate, James IV said, “Mother, you’re shorter than I expected.  Mind lifting me higher?”

 Even Alma was surprised by Four’s ability to speak so soon, expecting him to take longer to develop proper control over his mouth and tongue.  The rest of them were truly astonished, except Jarod, who really only had mild surprise.  He had many, many theories on what Four might be like and was only disappointed that James hadn’t wanted to prognosticate more in the past few months.

 Despite my title as Death, I truly loved births.  The birth of my second daughter next month wouldn’t involve so many people, but would be equally fun with my daddy and James III being completely bewildered.  There was often such joy surrounding births, and I found the hopes and dreams for the child to be completely cute more often than not.  Some of the fears were pretty comical too, really.  All-in-all, I loved this day, watching births all over the world and knowing I had the perfect afterlife awaiting each and every one.

[mysticscanlations]

Unlucky Mansion Chapter 69 Translation!

Read the raws here: Unlucky Mansion

ST: Ugh—

Worker: Department Head, please confirm this coat design.

EJ: Ah, yes.

Worker: Your complexion looks terrible today. Did something happen, by any chance?

EJ: Ah, I'm okay. Don't worry about it.

Worker: If things get too difficult, get off work early! The CEO and vice-CEO are on a business trip, anyways. I'll keep it a secret.

EJ: I'll pretend I didn't hear that...

Worker: Eh...

EJ: I'm going crazy. I was so worried about the text message I got yesterday that I didn't sleep at all.

EJ: All I could think of while coming to work was Kwak Woo Jin, too.

Text Message: Tomorrow is the award ceremony.

EJ: It's today.

EJ: It's today, Kwak Woo Jin. What are you going to do.

-But what time is the ceremony? Where is it being held?

EJ: No, it's not like I can do anything even if I knew...

EJ: I can tell even just looking at <The Land of the Lotus-Eaters>. All he changed was his pen name, his obsession family is still the same as ever.

ST: Hah...

EJ: He simply replaced his brother with his mom when he wrote... To think he'd give up a literary award because of his brother's surgery!

EJ: No matter how I think about it, this isn't something I should meddle with...

Phone: Buzz

Text Message: The ceremony is at the Press Center. Press conference is right now. He just needs to get here by 1 PM.

Clock: 11:34 AM

Worker: Ah~ It'll be lunchtime soon~

EJ: Should we—

Worker: Huh?

EJ: have lunchtime a bit earlier today?

SFX: Close

Phone: Yes, this is Kim Joon Hwan.

EJ: Sir.

EJ: I can't do this any longer. You win.

ST: Hah

EJ: I'll bring Kwak Woo Jin.

WJ: Let's change into the operating gown now, Woo Jung.

WJung: I feel weird. The gown feels weird, too...

SFX: Buzz

WJ: You have to get an IV later, so roll your left sleeve up.

SFX: Buzz

WJung: I don't like IVs either...

SFX: Buzz

WJung: Hyung, your phone keeps ringing.

WJ: Don't worry about it.

WJung: Why not just answer it?

WJung: It's today, right? The award ceremony.

WJ: I'm not going.

Mom: I've finished signing the consent forms for the surgery. The doctor will be here soon.

SFX: Turn

Mom: You really won't go?

WJ: Yes.

Mom: But you winning an award... This is such a happy occurrence.

-Doesn't it feel like a waste when you think about all of the suffering you've done till this point? You can even forget the ruckus with the book hoarding incident with this.

WJ: I don't worry about that kind of stuff.

WJ: It all passed, anyways. I'm just satisfied with writing the words I want to write.

-And the fact that I'm now writing under my own name is meaningful enough.

WJ: Staying by Woo Jung's side while he goes into surgery is more important.

Mom: I can do that, so don't worry.

WJ: Not only Woo Jung, but I also want to stay by your side, too.

-Since you've been suffering on your own all this time... At least just for today.

Mom: … So you've had those kinds of thoughts.

Mom: Woo Jin, can you make a promise with me?

Mom: No matter what happens with Woo Jung's surgery,

-you'll throw away your burden and guilt and live your own life after today.

WJ: Yes, I promise.

WJ: Then should we start heading back in?

SFX: Ding dong ding dong

Intercom: We'd like to make an announcement.

Intercom: Kwak, Woo, Jin. Would Kwak, Woo, Jin—

-please come to the 1st floor lobby of Area B immediately.

SFX: Huff (x2)

WJ: Eun Joo, what are you doing here...

EJ: There's 59 minutes left!

EJ: The award ceremony! There's 59 minutes left until then.

WJ: … Eun Joo.

EJ: Let's go together. I'll take you.

WJ: Thanks for coming all the way here, really... But I'm—

EJ: No, I won't hear it.

EJ: To be honest, I didn't want to come here. This is something you said you'd resolve on your own—

EJ: and truthfully, I was hurt by that, too!

EJ: I still still kept trusting you. When we met again, I hoped that you would be completely different.

EJ: But you're still being held back by your brother!

EJ: So you can't be without me.

-I want to change you. No matter how long it takes.

SFX: Blush

Left ST: What is it?

Right ST: I think it's a proposal.

White left ST: Wow~

White right SFX: Clap (x3)

SFX: Clap (x3)

EJ: … … … Sorry. Let's hurry and go.

ST: Wow~

SFX: Clap (x3)

WJ: Pft!!

WJ: Ah, I really can't win against you.

EJ: So... Are you going, or not?

WJ: I don't know.

EJ: What do you mean, you don't know!

WJ: I'll go talk to my brother and come back.

WJ: Wait here just a bit.

EJ: … You have to hurry back. Okay?

EJ: Okay.

SFX: Step

SFX: Open

WJ: Woo Jung? Where are you going? You're even pulling your IV drip with you...

WJung: I was curious when I heard the intercom calling for you. And you, where are you going?

WJ: I had something to say to you.

WJung: Good timing then, tell me.

WJ: … Woo Jung, sorry.

WJ: I think I have to leave right now.

1st rated comment: Ugh, it would be pitiable if the brother understood, but I hope he would send Woo Jin off happily this time ㅜㅜ It's not his fault you're hurting. Tell him to get to the ceremony safely, please.

2nd rated comment: Finally!!! Eun Joo and Woo Jin finally met!!!! ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ As expected, Eun Joo's so good with words ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

3rd rated comment: I have a girl crush on Eun Joo, she's so cool, lolololololololol. Woo Jin, Eun Joo, run!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[why-mr-spook]

This was posted on AO3 yesterday, but here it is too! A Spirk nightmare, comfort fic.

Air. There is no air.

But there is Spock and Bones, and eventually peace.

Jim woke slowly, disoriented for a moment. It felt as if he was stationary, and the world was the thing coming into view, settling itself around him. His bedroom was a tip, and his feet were cold; his window was hanging open and the old house had never retained any heat anyway. He sat up, feet dangling over the side of his bed but not quite touching the floor. Not yet. He used to not mind being short. When his mom got back from the stars, she always cradled him to her and told him that he’d always be her little baby. If he could stay small for her, she might just hold him forever- stop him from growing up.

Growing up was terrible. He’d realised that a long time ago. Sam had grown up, taller and smarter and stronger. Sam had grown up and he’d left. Left Jim to the empty cans and bitter rages and the cold, cold house. Jim finally slid off his mattress, shivering down to the core of him. It was winter now, without a doubt; another month had come and gone without a word from his mom, and the old wooden floorboards beneath his feet were so cold they hurt. He’d be on Tarsus IV soon, and it would be warmer there. The sky would be brighter, the blankets would be thicker, the food would be better. He’d be free of Frank, if nothing else.

He padded towards the open window, hanging out over the rooftop and letting the cool winds bring tears to his eyes. It was okay. It was all okay. The cold was good- the pain was good. It reminded him he was alive, and that’s what his mom had always said. Bad was good, because bad meant there was good to come. He doubted her sincerity, because his dad dying had been bad and he’d been waiting all his life for the good to follow up. At one point, he would have said that his mom’s brief stints at home had been the good. Maybe he was as selfish as Frank said, but it wasn’t good enough, not anymore. Not for him. Half of him wanted to just follow Sam’s example- right then- bound out of the window and flee into the night. Only he didn’t have that much longer to wait before he was gone, so he’d withstand the bad a little longer. Tarsus would be the good.

Jim leaned out of the window, into the cold, and he inhaled deeply. There - those brisk, unrelenting winds - they brought hope.

Jim sat bolt upright, his head spinning as he tried to take in his quarters and how very far it was from the dusty old farmhouse of his youth. His quarters were warm- warmer than average, in fact, thanks to his Vulcan boyfriend. They’d eventually found a happy compromise- Jim had to sleep mostly nude, which he mostly did anyway, but he could generally enjoy the whole night through without overheating. Well, nightmares aside he could. Reality dawned on him quickly, nausea and dizziness dissipating with the well-practiced circular rubs to his back. He’d woken Spock, it seemed. Of course he did. He always woke Spock- Spock was the lightest sleeper on the Enterprise, lighter even than Jim.

“Ashayam.” A hand rested against his shoulder, asking him to lean back into the touch and let Spock take his weight. Jim resisted. A part of him was still searching for that brilliant, cold wind in the middle of the night. It was about the only part of the dream he could remember. Dream, or memory? He couldn’t remember. There were so many nights between Sam leaving and his departure for Tarsus that he’d spent at that window, daring himself to leave. To run. Hell, on the bad nights, even to just jump and end it all.

“No wind. There’s no air.” He mused, slumping as all the tension in his muscles drained out. “Sorry. What’s the time?”

“It is half past three, Jim.” Spock sounded concerned and tired, and Jim felt terrible for waking him. “You should attempt to return to sleep.” He didn’t bother pointing out that Spock hadn’t included himself in that little suggestion, because it only made him feel worse.

“Yeah.” It had been past midnight before he’d fallen asleep anyway, too wrapped up in Spock and the distractions he presented away from what the rest of the day would bring. “Yeah, I’ll try.” Though he didn’t fancy the chances he’d actually drift off again. If he closed his eyes, he was back in the farmhouse, and maybe Frank was just downstairs drinking and shouting at the TV. Maybe, maybe Jim would hear those awful floorboards – that splintered him any chance they got, so he’d not gone barefoot in that house for a long time – they’d creak, and Frank would be coming upstairs to drag him out of bed, just to have someone to shout at. To be called lazy for sleeping.

Jim lay back down, staring up at the ceiling, until Spock settled beside him, reaching for his hand in the space between them.

“Spock?” Jim rolled onto his side, his gaze tracing his boyfriend’s silhouette in the dark. He couldn’t really make out too much without any light whatsoever, but he could see Spock’s eyes were open still. “Was there ever a time in your life that you felt…” He tried to search for the right word, but the closest had to be, “free?”

“There is a great deal of philosophy and semantics around your statement, Jim-”

“No, I know. I just mean… exhilarated and independent. Like the next choice you make is entirely your own, and you’re yourself and nothing more.” Like the feeling of October winds in your face, and your feet on a crumbling old window ledge, and in that very second being able to just jump. Only, Jim couldn’t tell him that. Not Spock.

Spock was silent for a long moment. “I do not know, Jim.”

Jim turned back to lay flat, averting his gaze back to the ceiling and ignoring the pit of disappointment in his chest. “Okay. Never mind.” He wasn’t sure what he’d wanted Spock to say, anyway. The Enterprise with Jim was probably the furthest thing from free in his whole life. “G’night, Spock.”

“Good night, Jim.”

Jim didn’t fall back to sleep. After a while of trying, he’d let his hand slip from Spock’s, turned onto his side with his back to his boyfriend. He should have just admitted he couldn’t sleep and spent the morning productively, with Spock. But he couldn’t face morning yet, and he didn’t want Spock to worry about him, so he turned over and just pretended. His mind wouldn’t shut down, however hard he tried, but the time was long and slow and it felt like more than three hours before the artificial sunrise commenced and he turned back over, agonised at not having moved for so long. Who was he kidding, Spock probably knew he’d not slept.

“Jim, regarding today. If it would be preferable to you, I can assume your responsibilities. Doctor McCoy has expressed his desire for you to complete your quarterly physical. This may exhaust you enough to sleep the remainder of the day away.”

Jim didn’t doubt that ‘may’ actually translated to a precise percentage that Spock had calculated to Jim’s all too human need for regular sleep, but he’d taken to vague language for some reason recently. Spock meant well, always did. If only it was that simple. If he did go to Bones, there was no guaranteeing that he would sleep peacefully. No, it was safer in the Captain’s chair; quiet and surrounded by people who wouldn’t let him screw up. Not that Bones was a bad influence, but he had a habit of letting Jim get away with things that Uhura would probably slap him for. Hell, Bones was a unique combination of a total hard ass and just the weakest when it came to Jim.

“Thanks, Spock, but no.” He sounded as far from himself as possible to, robotic and gravelly and his throat sort of ached from the night before, but he didn’t regret it for a second. “I’ll be fine. Just… just don’t let me be alone. Okay? I need you with me today.”

“Of course, Jim.”

Jim didn’t think it was all that simple either- Spock would probably have to rearrange lab work and a meeting and, hell all sorts, but he would and he wouldn’t complain. No, that was Jim’s job. To complain and take and never give anything back. He wasn’t entirely sure, great sex aside, why Spock was with him. But then a hand curled around his neck, pulling his head closer to his boyfriend, and Spock pressed a kiss against his head the way Jim did for him if he was ever in sickbay. Jim appreciated it, leaned into the touch, let his hand reach into Spock’s top- not permitting himself to feel an ounce of guilt for it. He wasn’t sick, but the sentiment was more comforting than he’d anticipated it could be.

“I love you, Spock.” He whispered, curling his fingers deeper into the fabric and revelling in the way Spock’s arms enveloped him, wrapping around him easily and holding them close together. Hugs from Spock were… indescribable. Rare unless they were, well, horizontal in bed, and always appreciated. Bones said the only reason he tolerated Jim and Spock’s relationship was that it meant Jim didn’t find his way to his bed anymore, now that he had a Vulcan to cuddle instead. But Jim had barely done that since their Academy days, and he wasn’t exactly touch starved anyway. Despite his childhood, there’d always been someone. He’d never gone too long without companionship, in some sense.

“Taluhk nash-veh k'dular, Jim.” Spock’s fingers drifted past his collar, touching at the skin of his neck so subtly Jim might have forgotten he was a touch telepath. Not that he minded. Spock didn’t have to ask at this point, or it’d make for a pretty difficult relationship. “I am concerned for you, Jim. Your mental turbulence has not been such for 5.34 months.”

“I know. Well, no I didn’t, but I knew it had been a while.” He was actually quite impressed with himself. Although, perhaps that was giving himself too much credit.

“I understand my attempts to dissuade you from active duty will go unheeded, so I must ask that you trust me, Jim. If you begin to feel overwhelmed, at any point, alert me and I will offer my assistance.”

“Yes.” He agreed, before he’d really considered what it meant. “But only if you trust me too. You don’t need to make up excuses to talk to me or check up on me. Just… be there, and I’ll say if I need you.” There was that selfishness again. He didn’t want to know the trouble he was putting Spock to.

“Your health is paramount to my satisfaction, Jim. To delegate some of my duties to remain at your side is not trouble, and nor is your existence.” Another kiss against his hair. “You may use the bathroom first. I will prepare your coffee.”

Spock had learned not to both forcing food on him, not on days like this. Jim wasn’t sure if he’d worked it out from more than one failed attempt, or if Bones had just outright told him not to, but he appreciated it nonetheless.  That, and the obvious attempt at consolation. Spock was, really, too sweet to him.

His knees protested when he dropped to them, already too battered and bruised and tight with old cuts and scars. But that didn’t matter- pain was irrelevant – because there was water, right in front of him. He scooped some into his canteen first, before he could allow himself to get distracted, because there were sick kids who needed this more than even he did, and if something went wrong and they couldn’t get back, their deaths would be on him. Only when he was sure all his possessions were strapped securely to him, did he fling himself forward into the flow. God, it was icy cold and he’d probably regret this soon, sopping wet on his trek back to their hiding spot.

But the pounding of his heart, and the rapidly numbing effect on his aching body once the initial shock was over, that was unbeatable. He grinned, despite it all. Despite everything. It had been a relatively good day in terms of food, and now water too. He sank down to his chin, the force of the water daring him to just let go of the rocks around him, let the flow take him away, submerge him, let the water consume him. That’s all it would take- to just uncurl his fingers from around one of the rocks he’d collapsed onto. To let the water wash all the air from his lungs. He wondered if that’s what it would feel like to die in space. To choke and scream, for every cell in his body to cry out for air but to not get any. It sounded horrific, objectively. It had to be quicker than starving though, right? And less painful than watching another kid just give up in the night and fall into their final sleep.

Jim wondered if he’d ever properly sleep again. Even if they made it off Tarsus, could he ever close his eyes and not expect pain to greet him? He ducked his head under the water, his hair whipping around his head. But those kids… the four that remained, waiting for him, obeying his commands, curling against him at night when they were too scared to sleep too. He couldn’t let them down. However much he wanted to just let go and submerge himself, he couldn’t. He broke surface again, gasping in air that tasted stale. But air nonetheless.

“Spock!” He gasped suddenly, sitting up straight. Not in the water, not holding on to rocks and avoiding touching the moss that made him itch for days, but in his chair. The Captain’s chair, no less. He knew that, of course. He was on the Enterprise, and Spock was in front of him, his eyes searching Jim’s rapidly.

“Air- there’s no air.”

There was, and he inhaled it sharply… not Tarsus air, no, but the recycled air was still not fresh enough, not earth. Not cold, unforgiving winds beating at his lungs. The rushing water past his ears was gone as though it had never been there at all. The bridge was unaffected by his waking nightmare, working and talking quietly under the thrum of engines and the ship being so very alive. Only Chekov and Sulu were glancing over their shoulders at him, though trying hard not to be obvious about it. Jim stopped looking, focusing on his Science Officer and the concern in his dark eyes.

“Sorry. Sorry, I’m fine. What time is it?”

“It is 11.55, Captain.” Spock replied dutifully, but he looked the furthest thing from reassured. Jim felt the same, and he swore he could still taste the waters of Tarsus in the back of his throat.

“That’s late enough for lunch, right?” He stood up, shaky for only a moment before he forced himself to get a grip. He’d walked for miles on Tarsus- ran and limped and made himself keep on going through all sorts of injuries and weathers and terrains. He could make it to their quarters. “C’mon Spock. Sulu? You can take the conn for a while right?”

“Yes sir.” Sulu turned briefly, offering him a lazy salute.

Jim tried to smile in return, but he couldn’t quite manage it. There was nothing to worry about, anyway, they were only on course for Starbase nine, and Jim trusted Sulu with the ship more than anyone but Spock and Scotty. At least he could fly the damn thing out of danger, should any occur. Not that any would. He was just a worrier. No, he wasn’t. He was fine, just fine. He hurried into the turbolift, Spock at his heel, and let himself take a deep breath as the doors slid closed.

“Captain, this is the second time today you have complain of an absence of air. I strongly believe you should amend our course for medbay and explain your symptoms to Doctor McCoy.”

“No, I’m fine. Honestly, Spock. I just… I just let my thoughts wander a bit, and that’s not something Bones can fix.” Nor could he just walk into Bones’ office and declare his mouth tasted like the icy waters of a planet he’d not seen since he was a kid, and the taste was sickening. He wanted to wash it away, drink so much bourbon that it was all he could taste for weeks. “Please, can we just… I just need a break.”

He knew the moment that Spock’s resolve broke, and he gave in to Jim’s plea. “Very well.” He acquiesced quietly. “If this occurs again, I will escort you to medbay myself.”

Jim didn’t doubt it. He nodded mutely, stepping out onto the corridor and making his way back to their quarters. It wouldn’t happen again. He wouldn’t let it. He was going to keep his mind so busy it wouldn’t have chance to wander, and then he couldn’t have another weird flashback and he wouldn’t think about the air in his lungs.

Their quarters were just as they’d been earlier that morning. Spock had tidied while he’d been getting ready for the day, so there was nothing to stop them sitting right down at the table and getting some lunch for them both. Only, Jim still wasn’t hungry. Not for food. He wanted to wash that awful taste away- and he knew exactly how.

Spock’s back hit the wall before he had time to utilise that infamous Vulcan strength, and Jim’s mouth was on his neck before he’d uttered his first complaint.

“Jim- it is lunchtime-”

“Exactly! A whole twelve hours since we last fucked.” His hand found its way south, his lips returning to Spock’s pulse point and nibbling, licking, that delectable Vulcan scent. “Twelve hours too long, don’t you think?”

“Jim. I believe you are emotionally compromised and thus to allow you to-“ Spock’s words by no means matched his body's reaction, and despite his Vulcan strength his hands did little more than just rest on Jim’s shoulders, as if telling him he could push back at any moment. “To continue this would be-“

“Much appreciated, thanks sweetheart.” To get that taste out of his mouth; to replace any memory of Tarsus with the sight and sounds of Spock. The way his fingers gripped Jim’s skin, the way he tasted better than anyone Jim had ever fucked before, how he fought back groans and failed desperately under Jim’s ministrations. Maybe it was selfish of Jim, but he knew Spock would do this for him, and he refused to let himself think too hard about it or he’d lose all motivation and stop.

“Great. Don’t think. Just lie back and think of Starfleet.”

The thing about dying was, it sucked. Not just for being alone, separated from the love of his life by glass he couldn’t break if he tried- if he wanted. It was the way breathing got harder, and his cells were on fire and his head went light and his vision blurred, and his lungs begged him to do something and save himself. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t suck in that necessary oxygen. His laboured breaths didn’t seem to be doing anything to alleviate the burning in his veins, and his hand against the glass was so weak it took everything he had to just hold it in place. He couldn’t let it fall – he deserved that much, at least. If his hand slipped down, if he wasn’t strong enough to hold it in place, he truly would be alone as he died. He was scared, too scared to face that. He needed to know Spock was just there, behind the glass, and in another life their hands would be entwined as Jim slipped into his last sleep.

Jim woke, and before he could even breathe in, he threw up. There was nothing he could do to fight the urge- no time to lean over the bed or stagger to the bathroom. He simply sat up and lost the contents of his stomach in a violent, seemingly unending wave of nausea. At some point, Spock appeared at his side, resting a hand against his back and rubbing in small circles until Jim managed to stop, tears streaming down his face as he tried to catch his breath. His stomach and throat were both agonising, and his mouth tasted vile, even despite the water Spock helped him sip slowly.

“A-again. Happened again.” He fumbled around the words, burying his head into his hands as Spock collected the disgusting blankets from his lap and deposited them into the washing. He returned with a replicated tub that Jim honestly didn’t think he’d need now, but accepted anyway. Then a damp towel nudged between his hands, pushing them aside, trailing softly across his mouth and neck.

“Jim, allow me to call for Doctor McCoy.”

Jim nodded morosely, hiding his face again. He couldn’t stop thinking about the things he’d seen. No air. The rushing wind at his childhood bedroom window. The stale, unsatisfying air of Tarsus. The burning failure of his lungs in Engineering. He was going insane, without a doubt this time.

“McCoy here. This better be good.”

“Please report to the Captain’s quarters, Doctor, with a med-kit.”

“Spock? What’s happened?”

“I do not believe the Captain is in immediate danger, Doctor. He has taken ill.”

“I’ll be the judge of that, Spock. On my way.” Bones replied bitterly, and Jim hated himself for causing a fuss. For waking up his friend. Jim was just a little shit who couldn’t cope with his own nightmares. Pretty extraordinary nightmares though they were, it was still positively shameful. He was a grown man. It was cruel that, even now, when they weren’t crammed together in the same room at the Academy, he was still dragged a reluctant Bones from his sleep.

“Jim, you must breathe.” Spock’s hand lay at his back, still, warm and guiding despite being stationary. Jim followed the sensation, the warmth against what otherwise felt unnaturally cold to him. There was an odd, hollow sensation within him. Like all those nightmares – Iowa and Tarsus and death – had drained the very life out of him. It was only Spock’s quiet companionship, his solemn instructions, his skin pressed against Jim’s- no doubt skirting his thoughts or pushing forward calm, or both. Whatever he was attempting, he didn't have enough time for it to work before Bones was there, sweeping into the room as if he owned it.

There was a moment, a brief second, when their eyes met. Bones kneeled before Jim, scanning and barking out responses to Spock’s articulate summary of Jim’s issues thus far, and he looked up and caught Jim’s blank gaze. Bones looked scared for him, and that terrified Jim more than anything else. He squeezed Spock’s wrist a little tighter.

“You need to come into medbay for a scan, Jim. Something is trying to trigger your survival instincts, and I don’t know how or why. This isn’t a panic attack, it’s just an attack. C’mon, Kid, keep breathing –”

Jim couldn’t. His lungs were starving and his cells were burning, but every motion he made to breathe was helpless. His throat had constricted, and Bones was jabbing him with hypos that should have been opening his airways and allowing him to breathe.

“- needs to breathe -.” Bones said, and Jim stopped panicking and started feeling the hazy welcoming sensation of passing out approaching him. “- emergency, I know Spock! Pass me -!” Bones sounded worried, angry, desperate and Jim had a distant urge to take his hand. He wanted Bones to know that he didn’t mind. That he’d welcome the peace, this time. It was completely different. Before, he’d been alone and scared, unable to touch. This time, he was joined by his boyfriend and his best friend, and they held him tightly, and nothing else could touch him through that warmth. He couldn’t feel the ice grip of the end, as he slipped into darkness.

Medbay was better than hospital, Jim secretly thought- even if he’d never dared share that with Bones, lest his ego start to rival Jim’s own. Maybe it was just tribute to how traumatic he’d found his time at hospitals over the years, but there was something about Bones’ sickbay that was less panic-inducing and more calming. It could be put down to just his best friend’s presence, and the familiar gentility of Nurse Chapel and, occasionally, Doctor M’Benga speaking quietly down the ward. There were other factors too, that most people probably wouldn’t pay much attention to. For one, hospitals were often harsh and bright. But sickbay was dim when it could afford to be, restful and mostly quiet. It didn’t smell harsh and clinical either – more like the rest of the ship did, which was a comfort in itself. Jim was most appeased by the company he kept in sickbay. Unlike his previous stints in hospitals, lonely and miserable, he was never alone in sickbay. If not Bones sat beside his bed, gruffly insulting him until he drifted off to sleep like they were back at the academy, it was Spock- of course. Spock, who could occasionally be convinced to at least sit on the bed beside Jim and stroke his hair until he slept. When duty called Spock away, Jim was joined by someone else. His yeoman, occasionally, to play checkers. Other crew members and friends – Nyota, Hikaru, Scotty.

Jim woke slowly, he thought, and then blinked himself into consciousness. He could breathe, he first noticed. There were no wires or oxygen masks or anything horrific like that. It occurred to his, secondly, that he hadn’t dreamed either. There had been no awful nightmare snapping him awake, constricting his throat with panic and bile.

“Welcome back sunshine.” Bones said gruffly, and Jim blinked up at him in confusion. Bones ignored his gaze, focusing instead on the tricorder he was running over him. It was Spock who stepped up to the bed, taking Jim’s hand.

“Ashayam, you look much improved.”

“I feel it.” Jim agreed and, to his surprise, speaking didn’t hurt. He felt rejuvenated inside and out, and put it down to the expertise of his Doctor. “What the hell happened?”

The Doctor and Spock shared an uneasy look, the sort of look that made Jim’s muscles clench in preparation to stand and fight. Bones and Spock didn’t get along and they didn’t work together well – not unless Jim was in real danger. He had been, technically, as far as he could recall – but they should have gone back to normal by now. He was fine, clearly.

“What’s the last thing you remember, Jimmy?” Bones asked, finally meeting Jim’s gaze as he continued to scan him.

“I was – I’d had that nightmare, and Spock called for you, and I couldn’t breathe- I blacked out.”

“Before that, Jim. Recall the events of the last few days, if you can.”

Jim frowned, chewed his lip but nodded steadily. “Okay.” Purely because he was confused, and because he’d never seen Bones and Spock look quite so united in a hopeless sort of worry. “Before that, I’d had another flashback on the bridge. We left the bridge and I- we-” He smirked. “Well, you know. I needed a distraction.” And the faint blush tinging Spock’s high cheekbones now were a delightful reminder of how he’d looked from Jim’s position on the floor. “And I’d had a dream the night before, too, about my childhood bedroom. Why?”

“Before then, Kid?”

Jim stared in confusion, unsure what exactly Bones wanted from him. Spock squeezed his hand, lightly, as if urging him to really think. So Jim did just that, furrowing his brow as he tried to move through the fog of memory to recall fact.

“We’d been planet side on Mylasa, for the geologists.” Finally, an emotion other than concern graced his companion’s faces. Their recognition was no, unfortunately, positive. “Spock was heading the mission- I went down to take a look. We went for a stroll, then went back to the ship.” The haziness around his memories was, frankly, disturbing. He glared defensively. “Are you going to bother explaining what’s going on, yet, or do I have to carry on playing recall?”

“Mylasa was not, as previously believed, uninhabited.” Spock explained quietly. “The lifeforms we encountered on the planet were of superior intelligence to our own, and saw us as an underdeveloped species thriving only from our desire to survive. You were considered a prime example of survival instinct. Your dreams over the last few days have merely been the telepathic influence of the new species, testing your memories of survival.”

“You should have heard these suckers, Kid. They sent a message through to the ship after they’d let you go, said they just wanted to know at what point you’d be happy to stop breathing.” Bones looked livid, and Jim wasn’t quite sure if it was because of the aliens or him. He’d been okay, he remember idly, with dying beside Spock and Bones. It wasn’t his choice, of course. He’d take living with them any day. But if he had to die again, which had seemed the most likely conclusion to whatever he’d gone through the previous night, he wanted to be with the people he loved.

“No, that doesn’t make any sense. They showed me times in my life when I wanted to breathe.” He argued. “My bedroom window- I used to stand at it, even when it was freezing and I could feel the cold in my lungs. And on Tarsus- I came up for air, I didn’t drown myself.” He sounded insane, and his protests were met with the horrified looks of his friends, but he continued. “In the decontamination chamber I wanted to breathe- my cells were burning and I wanted to get to the other side of the glass. And last night- I wanted to breathe- right up until I had both of you with me, when I could stop being scared. Then I didn’t need to anymore.” He gasped in a breath, grateful for the expansion of his own lungs. “It wasn’t survival instinct they were looking for, it was pack instinct.”

“The needs of the many.” Spock murmured, rubbing his thumb gently across the back of Jim’s hand. The movement was repetitive, reassuring, but mostly encouraging. Yes, Spock understood. He and Spock were always on the same wavelength.

“They wanted to see my desire for self-preservation compared to my desire to protect the rest of you.” Jim elaborated. “I didn’t run away from home because I thought Tarsus was going to be better- that was self-preservation, because Sam had already left me. I didn’t drown because I knew I had to get back to the other kids- so that’s both of them. I died in the chamber to save the crew, and that was purely protective.”

“Well I hope they found whatever they were looking for dammit.”

“It’s… it’s over now, right?” Jim asked, and it wasn’t fear in his tone. Trepidation, maybe described it better. But Bones and Spock were there.

“It is over, Ashayam.” Spock confirmed, with the slightest of smiles. Behind him, Bones tampered with his screens. Jim returned the smile and exhaled.

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

what the... fuck?

yet again we start off with a cutscene that looks like its from a completely different game... or low quality anime

-

...why are we starting off in court

-

“who brings a defendant to his own trial late”

why... is this sentence not processing 

for the life of me i have no idea what that means;

-

simon: you can just SCARE the judge into not giving a fuck about shit like being late, or threatening people under the guise of clever psychological manipulation!

also hi again simon

are you ready to be fun and likeable and not awful ?? I'm excited!

-

“i wish he'd stop treating me like a child all the time”

hey, old habits die hard.

-

simons already doing well by being an overprotective dork... so far so good. dont disappoint me, samurai.

-

our defendant is drunk

we’re off to an excellent start!

-

what... accent is this...

oh its drunkinese ok 

-

“three sheets to the wind”

ive never heard that one

maybe they can get away with having a drunk guy but they cant actually say drunk?

-

somebody get this guy some raw eggs and hotsauce??

wow hes drunk enough to be close to vomiting? he’s not acting hungover so I'm assuming that he’s been drinking up till now. and simon was last with him, so...

yeah I'm blaming simon for this

-

“ive known athena longer than ive known bucky”

“ive frequented his soba restaurant”

contradiction! simon was in jail up until very recently, and knew Athena for a very short period of time during her childhood. unless he met Bucky right after taking care of athena, it’s not possible that he’s known her longer. that or i guess he could just walk right out of jail to get noodles.

-

“meat slapped between slabs of bread...”

oh no ya dont, translation team. you made your burger bed, now you have to lie in it. no mocking the joke now.

-

quit being so tsundere simon. and yes I'm giving you the luxury of being tsundere and not just an asshole who’d prefer the company of men he once tried to cut to ribbons just because Athena’s a girl. because I'm in a good mood today!

-

a) scariest ringtone to date

b) he runs that place alone?? sucks to be buck

-

please stop doing the vomit animation its making me uncomfortable 

-

“this is no time for idle chatter”

oh simon, you obviously dont know what a chekov’s... um, conversation is.

-

wow so not only are we starting in the court room, but Sadmad said his prayers already. This is shaping up to be a rushed case.

...because obviously this is just filler before we get back to the Oh-So Delightful Adventures in Lawyer Land

-

edgeworth called him back for this case?? ...why???

-

Sadmad: I could be less horrible now that I owe the WAA a favourOR I could threaten to send a young lady to hell for just doing her job!!!! GO SADMAD, GO SADMAD

-

...dont call her a spring chick.

-

wait wait MAY 12TH?!

They just finished Maya’s trial and Edgeworth hauls Sadmad back to America over night?? How the fuck does Sadmad think he’s more prepared than us?? He had about the same amount of time to prepare!

-

I’ve got a good feeling about this case

-

Sadmad just let that poor butterfly rest jfc the aesthetic isn't that important 

-

“this guy stole the deed to this other guys shop, so other guy KILLED HIM to get it back”

yes, brilliant deduction, not an overreaction at all

-

Sadmad, you literally got back here at like 1 am last night. Go fuck yourself and leave Athena alone.

-

So Apollo’s a  red pepper, Athena’s an egg yolk... But there aren’t any blue foods, so Phoenix is just stuck being called ‘putrid’ in general.

Anyway cut Athena some slack. She’s already progressed far beyond having a breakdown in court because someone talked over her. 

-

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR SIMON BLACKQUILL,

-

“Simon!! You didnt tell me you were taking the stand!!!”

“There wasn’t time...”

no time at all during that 5 minutes you spent in the lobby. But I'm laughin’ so I’m not judging. Also I missed that theme...

-

AW  YIS

THROW DOWN SIMON

he’s the lesser of two evils this time; I'm ready to back him up! Simon in the blue corner, ding ding!!!!

-

half-awake sadmad looks up “rakugo” on wikipedia at 3 am

“yeah that should do it”

...and memorizes the whole article apparently

(coughmartystucough)

-

Sadmad: No wasting time!! This soul must get to the afterlife post-haste! You’re all putrid lumps of fecal matter for putting off the last ri–– wait, an opportunity to gloat?! Hold onto your hats, baby! The next twenty minutes are mine!!!

-

(weeps) thank you Athena

-

simon will remember this (you blackguard)

-

sexy pan up shot for–– oh, it really is a “sexy” pan up shot this time

except for those... soulless eyes...

-

aw nuts she has that drone-y X people theme. 

-

OH GOD 

OH GOD YOUR BOOBS

THAT WOULD HURT SO FUCKING MUCH

IM CLUTCHING MY CHEST JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

but I'm also chortling at the booby jokes teehee

-

“Never show sadness! Smile, smile, smile! With a twisty-twist-twist!”

Hey, it’s the new motto of ace attorney! Your self worth is based solely on how well you can cover up your less palatable feelings! Yaaaay!!

...also I’m calling it now, she did it.

-

i think her balloons are pretty impressive, athena

-

420 WE GOT ONE FOLKS

-

“Sad Monk Sadmahdi”

simon, youre gaining brownie points fast

-

Lang Zi says... Oh, uh I mean, the Kooraheenist Bible says......

-

“I’m checking in with the big tough old man prosecutor because i underestimate this small, young, female defence attorney”

I'm getting flashbacks to Turnabout Beginnings. and not good ones. 

You kick it, girl. tell them off.

-

nice! the judge is on our side!

-

why did she mention the dog barking a lot if it was only because he was hungry?

-

that is one hongry dog

something about the dog just burying the rest of the food is making me laugh

-

oh so that was important eh

hmm

-

has athena always done this double-slam thing, or is this new?

-

Athena: Witness, I think you might’ve been lying a little bit 

Sadmad: Vile hitler-satan, I cast you down to hell for your debauchery, how dare you insinuate that this case has more to it than what is readily viewable on the surface? Tsk tsk, so inexperienced, so putrid, 

-

“What? The gallery doesn’t get a say in this!”

They’re not a jury, you know!!!

-

“Why is the whole gallery siding with prosecutor sadmadhi?”

it’s because he’s hot, athena. thats the only reason anybody likes him.

-

tbh I'm actually pretty proud of Athena

same time last year Sadmad would have put her in a panic-stupor. but not today. Kudos on working that out, kiddo. You’re moving up!

-

...wait a minute

“with a little push, you could succumb to despair”

>despair

does Sadmad know? Does he know about her PTSD? If so... He’s deliberately TRYING TO TRIGGER HER SO THAT HE CAN WIN THE CASE?!

WHAT THE FUCK

-

oh boy!! OH BOY!! a dying message!!! THOSE ARE FOOL PROOF, AS PROVED BY EVERY SINGLE CASE IN THIS SERIES TO CONTAIN ONE!!

-

“That makes perfect sense, doesn't it!”

Yes... the man who suffocated to death somehow had time to leave a clue to his killer...

...you do realize that to be suffocated, the killer has to be there the whole time, right? if there’s nothing in his lungs and no trace of poison in his stomach, then it has to have been manual suffocation, either by strangulation (though we have yet to hear about any marks on his neck) or by covering his mouth and nose. 

so youre implying that rather than fighting back, the old coot rearranged a bunch of playing cards... in plain view of his aggressor

yet again, Sadmad makes a brilliant fool proof deduction.

-

ohhh my god he’s still trying to do it. HE’S STILL TRYING TO TRIGGER HER. I SWEAR TO FUCK, he’s been tolerable–– very thinly tolerable up until now. But this is just disgusting. This is brazen, malicious cheating. I don’t care if he turns out to be jesus himself when the inevitable “urhurhur he was good all along!!” twist shows up; I’m not forgetting this.

-

Damnit , Athena, don’t fucking listen to him. Don’t listen to a word he fuckin says.

Man I’ve never been so happy to see Simon. Little bit of the pot-calling-the-kettle-black here since Simon’s MO is to threaten and manipulate–– err, ah, use psychology!! to influence people, but I hate Sadmad so much that I don’t care.

-

“To think, you were so easily manipulated by his parlour tricks...”

Watch it, Simon. You’re the lesser of two evils this time, but that doesn’t exempt you from criticism. As a psychologist, you should know WHY it worked so well on Athena and you should be SENSITIVE about it. 

You’re cleared of all charges, remember?? You don’t have to pretend to be a douchebag to keep up your ill-thought-out plan anymore.

-

“I’m not girding up anything in this skirt!”

well i just don't know what to say to that

-

Oh boy here comes Uendo.

Everyone seems to love him so I’m hoping he’ll be a reprieve from Sadmad’s......... everything 

-

Sexy pan up shot of... a guy on a bunch of flower bags. With his own theme song!

-

so far I'm loving his animations and I'm always a slut for shitty puns!!

let’s see... blush stickers for the goofy one, hair forwards and eyeshadow for the lady. Clever little things that make each one of his characters different. He's definitely a fun character so far!

-

ah I'm really enjoying his dialogue 

ill bet the translators had a ball with this

-

won't you PLEASE laugh at my PUN!!!

its ok uendy, i thought it was good.

-

“Silence is more precious than diamonds”, eh?

I can definitely see which Sadmad values more...

-

ooh a spit take! not since godot have we been blessed... also i notice they've dialled up the rock guitar in Athena’s theme. Personally don’t see it as an improvement but eh

-

“yes, making it look like the man drowned was obviously because the culprit hated him and wanted to desecrate his corpse instead of getting the fuck out of there quicker like any killer would”

not to make it look like 

he’d drowned in the bowl

to throw off the police.

of course not; that’d be too obvious.

another win for the great Sadlock Madholmes.

-

wait did Sadmad just say Objection?? I thought he didnt do that

also; duel of the growly voices

-

prosecutor sad monk. simon’s still a dick but at least his dickishness spreads to  people i dont like :3

-

ooh i love it when i can rearrange physical pictures

-

“you can put the cards back in their right place but if you cant explain them then youre fucked”

ever thought that maybe theyre irrelevant to the case and theyre just... cards?? sadmad??

i mean i know theyre not but they could easily have just been on the table when the murder happened. they could stand for absolutely nothing.

-

ahh... the sweet refreshing scent of common sense. you redeem yourself step by step, simon. i mean, when youre not being a dick about it.

-

“don’t testify.”

franziska tried this once. it was for an evil scheme. i dont want to have to threaten another witness with revealing a dark secret; that was depressing.

but at least we know meanwhile that Sadmad isn’t above dirty shit like shutting up a witness. .......not that we didnt know that before.......

-

“Are you trying to taunt him into talking? Such a petty trick will never work”

POT.

CALLING.

THE KETTLE.

JET BLACK, SADFUCK.

-

simon’s lucky he’s surrounded by idiots and people with poor impulse control, otherwise his “mind tricks” wouldn’t do shit

“to be turned by such an obvious ploy... what a man of weak spirit.”

for once, Sadmad, I gotta agree.

-

its time for 

Artistic!

License!

Psychologyyyyyyyyy!!!!

-

sadmad doesn't get his way: my god will smite you later :(((((

-

now that we’ve worn this non-joke out...

-

“seeing my master asleep just made me so fuckin sad...”

-

i love that anger has such a distinctive ping sound

-

please do not call your toe that

-

“You gotta fuss over every tiny detail like this?” yes, Uendo. That’s why I’m writing these !!

-

that box of buns keeps drawing my attention. i love buns

-

Simon, you could try using some positive reinforcement. Mia wasn’t soft on Phoenix, but she encouraged him to think and puzzle things out for himself; she didn’t just call him an idiot. All the time.

-

“as sharp as a trout”

what the fuck

-

“so thats how it works ! fascinating!”

its not like i spent a lot of time working under the woman who invented said matrix!

-

its kinda sad that Athena’s never seen multiple emotions in high dudgeon 

she must hang out with a lot of mild mannered people 

-

athena: ive just proved these words mean something detrimental to the witness

sadmad: erm but they mean nothing to me therefor they warrant no further investigation.

???

i stg most of Nahyuta’s “”””counter argumnets”””” are legitimately just him trying to disparage the obvious contradiction away.

-

again athena seems unable to believe that people can only feel one intense emotion at a time

should i be worried

-

silly AA, that’s not how DID works!

oh well, at least Uendo is the fun kind of DID, unlike other... side-splittingly shameful characters I could mention...

-

Pohlfuckya indeed sadmad

-

ROLE CALL

-

“You seem proud of yourself, but all youve done is infringe on the privacy of the witness”

(sweats) i hate it when Sadmad makes good points

-

its not really dissociative if you dont... um... dissociate.

-

Sadmad: let it go and––

Athena: Shut up!!

Sadmad: Let it g––

Athena: Sssh!!!

Sadmad: le––

Athena: SJSJSJSJ

-

“if words will not sway you, perhaps pain will”

eject

him

-

i dont... like that... the beads are around her torso.......

-

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HE FUCKIN CUT THEM IN MID AIR

that deserves a fucking cutscene all on its own. its like the time Lang caught Franziska’s whip only cool and not bulshitty

...also you coulda maybe done that a lil earlier simon lol

-

“I dont give two flips”

all his flips have flown the coop

-

“but if Cykes dono were to submit to you here...”

DO NOT 

USE THE WORD SUBMIT

WHEN PRAYER BEAD BONDAGE IS INVOLVED

-

fuck you sadmad, not everyone has magic gary-stu powers that let them memorize everything about a single subject in one night.

-

once again sadmad wastes precious time and diamonds showing off

-

after this lengthy, lengthy, leeeeeengthy detour............ wouldyouliketoaddthisstatementtothetestimony?

-

“you look like a hen with a dozen eggs to say”

you can just say “constipated” and it'll be less creepy, simon

-

how could they... not tell... oh who cares

-

“we’ve got you by the stones now, Uendo!”

DAMN the TESTICLE references in this game!!!

-

“heres a big plot twist that i just convenientlyforgottomention urhurhurhr..”

spoken like a true prosecutor 

-

there was such a long pause there i thought he was building up to a pun

but of course he wasnt. sadmad isn't cool at all

-

heheh i just noticed that Bucky has hair noodles, just like Mr. Eldoon (tho Bucky’s dont appear to be a wig)

also its... very distressing to have a drunk client.

-

y’know i just realized

Sadmad is always talking about sending souls to the twilight realm in the proper way. but he's an international prosecutor. he’s probably prosecuted victims of all religious alignments.

isn't it kind of disrespectful to perform your religion’s funeral rites on someone who doesn’t practice it???

-

again, BK is only successful because Uendo is a moron

to be fair though, that was one of his better ones.

-

“You were leading the witness!”

I...

Just, fuckin’. Please stop making good points, sadmad. I don’t want to be enraged with you, I want to be enraged AT You!!

...well i mean I don’t want to but i hate it when you bring up excellent points.

-

anyway why doesn't sadmad want them to find Owen anyway. if it comes to nothing, who cares? can you just not stand having people who aren’t you waste time??

-

again... DID doesn’t work like that........

-

macbeth, starring athena cykes and simon blackquill

-

hey i jusT REALIZED WHERE’S TAKA

-

thats,,, reallllllyy not how DID works,,,,,,,,,,,,,

-

highfalutin’

-

“if you see one, there are likely thirty in your home’

thirty what

WTHIRTY WHAT

-

look if you knew how DID is supposed to work you'd probably have a good hypothesis by now. not an... ethical one to implement, but a working one.

-

i guess Uendo just never sleeps then, because apparently falling unconscious calls out another personality.

...brilliant.

-

Simon: STOP BEING SO NERVOUS. IS MY NAGGING AND DISAPPOINTMENT SOOTHING YOU???? IS IT?????!!!!

-

the time honoured tradition of turning a slip of paper over... truly, this is an Ace Attorney game 

-

dude.... if you conk out from the trace amounts of alcohol in a bun, you should maybe visit a doctor possibly 

-

“hmm, yes, i will allow you to render this man unconscious from alcohol.”

classic judge!!

-

au where blackqyil is a very angsty delivery boy

-

BABY

THERE HE IS

MY PRECIOUS BIRD

I WAS SO SCARED SOEMTHING HAD HAPPENED TO YOU

-

...that bird is going to fly into a shop, terrorize the workers, steal bean buns and (hopefully) drop a twenty on the counter as he flies the coop

awesome 

-

phew that was a long court... but wait if this is a half-episode (which it probably is) and it started on a court day...

no investigation?! RIP OFF

-

gonna cut this one off here. till next time...

[deepwithinmybonesfic]

Deep Within My Bones Ch 10- Hospital

AU. Viktor wins another gold at the Olympics, and attends the Paralympics as another duty as the King of Ice Skating. Having lost his inspiration and heart, Viktor did not expect to find love in what he sees as the perfect man. Yuuri, after losing his legs, lost his chance to compete on the same ice as his idol. When the world seems to fall into place, what else can be taken away from them? Ch 1-6 is Setup, start at Ch. 6 for the cute romance-y and drama

“Hospital? Why hospital? You said you felt better…” Viktor couldn’t even muster the energy to whine. He just felt tight. His throat, his chest. It hurt, and he had no idea if it was because of little Yuri, or because of what was happening to his Yuuri.

“What’s going on with your boyfriend.”  Yuri had been quiet until then, and had given them space… but not forgiveness apparently.

“I don’t know. They’re making him go to the hospital.” Viktor didn’t have time to worry about his relationship with his protégé right now… outside of finding a place to put him.

“My dad will drop you off at home before we go to the hospital.” Yuuri left his conversation with his mother, guilt weighing heavily on his shoulders. “It’s a long drive to Fukuoka.”

“Fukuoka?!” Viktor shrunk back, when he realized he had been surprised and loud enough that everyone turned to look back at him. Even Yuri, who was being shooed into the back row of the van. “Why so far? What about the clinic you brought me to when I got a cold?”

Yuuri stared at his feet.

Somehow, this felt more like than just his nerves.

It was easy to forget that Yuuri was a little different. Why he had been at the special Olympics and not the main events….

“ My doctor is based in Fukuoka. Clinics are general doctors.” He licked his dry lips. “My mom is worried that the cancer I had when I was in the junior league is coming back.”

“Cancer? I thought you were in a car accident or something,” Viktor lost his tact as he felt the pit of his stomach turn icy. Cancer. Cancer? Yuuri had run with him every morning, done every skate Viktor had asked him to try. There was no way Yuuri was sick.

“No.” Yuuri still couldn’t look up at him, his dark hair in his eyes. “I ignored what was going on, thinking it was part of skating. I decided it was better to lose my feet and skate with prosthetics than try and fix my feet.” His shoulders were shaking, and his cheeks were wet.

Viktor pulled him close, wrapping his arms around Yuuri, tucking his head under his chin. “I’m glad you kept skating.”

“There’s nothing else I’m good at, anyway.” Yuuri’s voice wobbled, weak and losing its strength.

“You were good enough to bring me to Japan.” Viktor moved with Yuuri as his mother came to shoo him into the van. Yuuri slouched into him once they were in the van, Yuuko talking with Mama Katsuki just outside the car.

“I’m sure it’s nothing.” Viktor said, pushing back his long bangs. He paused, pulling back his hand and staring at his own fingers.

They were slick and wet with tears.

“But I want to go to Fukuoka with you.”

---

Viktor didn’t like hospitals in Russia, and he didn’t like Japanese hospitals either. There were no cute mascots or vending machines. The nurses wore uniforms that made them look like they had come out of a cartoon, and they were barely around. Hiroko ended up stepping out a few hours after they arrived, coming back with several bags from the Seven-eleven down the street.

Even though Viktor had been amazed at the freshness and variety from convenience stores, somehow today the katsu curry tasted bland and dry in his mouth. Yuuri had even less of an appetite, only poking at the caramel  custard pudding his mother had gotten for dessert.

It wasn;t that he was nauseous. He had done many sports physicals before, and submitted blood samples to ensure he wasn’t doping. But somehow, watching the four vials of blood being drawn from Yuuri’s arm had shaken him. The way Yuuri hadn’t even blinked when the needle poked him, or when they put a line to draw the blood from. His hand naturally moved to accommodate the oxygen reader, and he didn’t tense when the IV line was put in.

He was quiet.

Mari had facetimed earlier, with Vicchan and Makkachin taking up the screen, but Yuuri was mostly quiet.

Rather than push him, Viktor spent most of his time staring at the chart at the end of the bed and fiddling with his translator app. He had gotten better at isolating the sounds in conversation, and had a ongoing list of words to try out and add to his study list.

Nikiforov-v 18:05  he still isn’t talking

Giacristophe 18:06   you can say something

Nikiforov-v 18:06  then he will just feel bad that he isn’t translating

Giacristophe 18:06    I don’t think he worrys about you right now

Nikiforov-v 18:07   he always does.  That’s why we’re here

Giacristophe 18:07   its  not your fault

Nikiforov-v 18:08   I want to do something

Giacristophe 18:08   you said anemi?

Nikiforov-v 18:08   anemia

Giacristophe 18:08   give  him the blood

Giacristophe 18:42  viktor?

Giacristophe 19:01  don’t go crazy

He looked adorably sleepy when Viktor jumped up and leaned on the end of Yuuri’s hospital bed. “Yuuri! What blood type are you?”

“Wha? Uh, A-type….why?” This had come out of the blue. He knew Viktor wasn’t anywhere near fluent enough to hear what his doctors had said.  There was a shortage on A type donations due to the injuries from a 5.7 earthquake further notice. But with bed rest and  fluids, Yuuri would be fine until the tests came back.

Viktor pumped his fist in the air. “So am I.”

“Oh… that makes sense.” He narrowed his eyes, staring at Viktor.

“What does that mean?” Viktor shrunk back, looking offended, even though he had no idea how.

“Perfectionist.”

“Wouldn’t that be the same for you?” Viktor made a face, secretly glad  that Yuuri was finally talking back.

“I don’t really pay attention to that kind of stuff.” He shrugged, moving the shovel-like mini spoon in his pudding cup. “Why?”

“I can donate to you!”

Yuuri immediately flushed. “No! No, its okay.” Maybe Viktor was more fluent than he gave him credit for.

“No. Please. I want to.”

Yuuri slid down his pile of pillows, refreshingly pink. “Don’t you think… that’s a little… intimate?” he murmured, shrinking under his blanket.

Viktor finally felt like smiling. “I know your blood rushes for me, I should only return the favor!” He chirped with his sweet heart-shaped smile. Yuuri disappeared under the blankets, squawking with embarrassment. Hiroko looked up from her paperback, peering over the edge curiously.

Yuuri immediately sat up, Viktor automatically going up to fix and fluff the pillows behind Yuuri’s back.

“Mama, Viktor wants to donate blood. He’s type A.”

“Oh! Just that?”

Yuuri felt like disappearing under the blankets forever

“Vicchan is so sweet. I’ll tell Yamamoto-sensei when she comes.”

It was more anxiety inducing to be in the hospital without Yuuri than it was sitting uselessly in his room. Even if he was paying attention, he wouldn’t have been able to understand anything the nurses said. They ended up bringing the questionnaire back to Yuuri’s room, and went back to basic English. “Arm” and if he didn’t position it right, they would take it and turn it over.    “Pinch” and he knew to look away until they covered the needle with a piece of fabric tape. When staring at the wall wore out its welcome, he sneaked a peak at the tube coming out of his arm.

He had expected it to be more vibrant, more red, more life-inducing. But it looked more purple than anything, and looking at the tube made his stomach lurch. It was part of his body, and yet it wasn’t.

But it was for Yuuri.

By the time Viktor had realized he wasn’t going anywhere until finishing the juice box with a smiling orange on it, Yuuri had already fallen asleep.

Viktor had offered to use his credit card at the hotel chain next to the hospital, but they had declined. They stopped by 7-11, Yuuri’s father stopping to get a coffee milk, and handing a bottle of Calpis soda and a small brown glass bottle.

“Energy!” He mimed flexing his muscles, before tapping the brown glass bottle. Viktor nodded, grateful for their hospitality and even thinking of him while they left behind their only son in the hospital room. The drink tasted awful, too herbal and grass like, but he downed it all between sips of his favorite yogurt drink. They got back to Yuutopia past midnight, the resort already dark and asleep.  He stopped on his way to his temporary room, the door to Yuuri’s room still open. Makkachin and Vicchan were both on his head, curled around each other in a nest of blankets. As if they knew.

Makkachin lifted her head, staring at him through the twilight.

He joined them for the night.

[verdigrisprowl]

Feb 1 Blurr’s Horror Stream - A Series of Unfortunate Events 4-6

Prowl is still enjoying this show a lot and wishes everybody talked like this.

(After the stream he went home with Soundwave to play with dominos.)

Welcome to the 'speedxstealer' room. The chat room has been cleared by the moderator. Malika: ((Omg, I forgot this website exist XD)) Roadbuster: (( OH IVE NEVER SEEN THIS WEBSITE BEFORE!)) B l u r r: [[ HIIII ]] Malika: ((THE WHOLE FAMILY IS HERE-))+ Roadbuster: (( Mali u can sit in Roadie's lap or on his shoulder)) Malika: *sitting on Road's shoulder* Malika: ((decided the shoulder because yesss)) Whirl: (9WHIRL GONNA BE MAKING THIS FACE AT U BLURR ALL NIGHT: Whirl: http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/257/968/786.jpg )) B l u r r: [[ sTAHP ]] B l u r r: IS THAT THE PRATT GIF ]] Whirl: ((never)) Whirl: ((different one this time)) B l u r r: [[ JFC ]] Malika: (( HAHAHAHAHHAH OMG THAT FACE)) Roadbuster: (( This is roadies first movie night. dont weird him out)) B l u r r: [[ OH WELCOME TO THE EMPEROR ]] Whirl: ((BACILLY)) Whirl: ((if i could spell... it'd be a good day... ok lemme go get my dinner made and I'll brb)) Malika: ((Also for Mali- *rofl*)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((ohoho i see there's a someone here)) Malika: *moving her head as she was dancing* ((Hellow!)) Whirl: *gonna trot right in--OHO WHO IS THIS* Whirl: *his capacity for expression is limited but his optic is curved into the gleeful expression that would otherwise translate into a huge grin as he makes he way to the Whirl Hammock* Evening, Teach. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave trudges in and parks himself on his usual couch. Rumble rushes over to his brother and is about to give him a huge hug when he remembers he's in public. He punches Frenzy hi instead.* B l u r r: / Here he comes. Skidding in at speeds not usual for him. Slides and smoke comes off his pedes. He looks AWFUL but he's hERE / Malika: Don't mind me and Roadbuster, if you want to hug each other just do it *and what was that fooooor* Malika: Welcome back Blurr~ Whirl: *whoop, if blurr wasn't here then whirl will not have said that BUT NOW HE WILL* B l u r r: / vENTS / B l u r r: Hello, cretin... Malika: *She smiled like the lil *** she is* Whirl: ((ok... we haven't written these threads yet but whirl WAS on earth with Blurr. Should we assume he's met RB, aside from that one ask?)) Whirl: ((What about Malika? :|a or would they have kept her away from this hot mess?)) B l u r r: [[ im sure RB remembers Whirl ]] B l u r r: [[ Malika is a recent meet for Blurr, so u probably didn't meet her! ]] Whirl: ((although whirl does look A Lot Different now that he's not in earth disguise)) B l u r r: [[ true ]] Malika: ((Do as you wish guys~ there is always time for meet each other 8D )) FakeProwl: *appears. surveys room; sits with Soundwave* Whirl: ((o7 i just wanted to know where we should be re: who knows who)) B l u r r: [[ yeh yeh ]] B l u r r: [[ lemme know when yall are ready ! ]] Whirl: ((i am!)) Roadbuster: The wrecker sat at the side with a cutious glare at all the others who had arrived. Cautiously holding a servo uo to keep the girl on his shoulder. " This'll be fun right?" ItsyBitsySpyers: *Pings Prowl. Is it safe to get comfortable or should he not today?* Whirl: *get settled in his hammock and is outwardly calm except for his ever-present "smile"* @Blurr: Hot DAMN Teach, way to go! Roadbuster: ((ready!)) B l u r r: @Whirl: :: DO NOT :: ItsyBitsySpyers: ((i am ready i think)) B l u r r: / making a face. He looks like he's been dragged through energon and dirt / B l u r r: / dusts armor off / Whirl: @Blurr: Do not what? Eh? Ehh? Afraid I'll embarrass you in front of your new beau? B l u r r: @Whirl: :: I'm not afraid . :: B l u r r: / aHEM. Waves claw at Roadie and Malika / Malika: ((ready!)) Whirl: @Blurr: Anyway, the only thing I said was way to go. *his optic immediately rounds into an innocent expression* @B: I'll behave. You know ME... ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy stretches tiredly and blinks at Roadbuster and... a fleshling? Yeah, all right. Must be an Autobot pet.* B l u r r: / stares at whirl for a moment B l u r r: /* Malika: *She just stay quiet, looking at the guys presents there, waving a hand to everyone, specially to Blurr* Oooh this will be very fun for sure brobuster~ FakeProwl: ((ready!)) Whirl: *THE MOST INNOCENT OF LOOKS* B l u r r: Well, before we start... /ahem. Rolls a shoulder, cracking it in place / Roadbuster: * nodding at Blurr* Hey lad. B l u r r: Frenzy and I had a great time. FakeProwl: *it takes longer than usual to decide. but then he pings an affirmative and leans lightly on Soundwave.* Whirl: *stops silently tormenting Blurr long enough to zoop his neck out of the hammock and look a Frenzy* Oh, yeah. You've been away. How's it, mech? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Carefully nudges the back of Prowl's helm with one of his collar plates. Little less public than a full on helm bump.* B l u r r: In any case... I found what I was looking for. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\'S A GOOD TIME.\\ B l u r r: / slow vent / Airachnid: [peeks sneaks in quietly] Whirl: Yeah, Blurr always knows how to have a good time. FakeProwl: *a fleeting moment of almost-tension that he quickly surpresses. sorry. bit close to the neck.* B l u r r: / shifts and flops down onto the couch / ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ah. He didn't mean to set that off. Next time he'll find a different way.* Roadbuster: That's a great beard i'll admit it! Malika: "What a niiiice guy" she frowned while looking at the guy with the beard Starscream: So how did he get the snake to bite the other human ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy waves up at Blurr.* Starscream: Snakes don B l u r r: / waves at Frenzy / Whirl: *he's gonna shoot one last "grin" Blurr's way--he's fuccin DELIGHTED you guys--and flops back to get comfortable* Starscream: 't seem very co-operative ItsyBitsySpyers: \\YOU SHOULD SHOW 'EM THE THING.\\ B l u r r: ... Oh, yes! /hops up and moves the chainsaw off his back / Hey mechs. B l u r r: Check this out. Malika: "Oh look, he is clumsy like me!" B l u r r: / rests the chainsaw by his pede and motions to his lower back. It looks like a glowing disk / B l u r r: / It is absolutely, 100% embedded into his back/ Whirl: *cranes his neck up again* Fashion statement? B l u r r: / there are sCARS ON SCARS back here / FakeProwl: *in return, nudges soundwave's arm. no hard feelings.* Whirl: What's it for? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Tiny nod.* B l u r r: It increases my speed. Roadbuster: This is whatcha do with the bloody chainsaw? B l u r r: ... No, I kill people with my chainsaw. B l u r r: Thank you very much. Malika: *stares with a questioning look to Blurr* Whirl: *snickers* So what, now, you can go the speed of light? ItsyBitsySpyers: \\YOU SHOULD SEE IT.\\ B l u r r: I can go much faster than before, plus still absorb speed. Starscream: ((blurr solves his problems with a chainsaw~)) B l u r r: K-Kyehehehheheh... It work-wo-works. /swats his helm/ WORKS. Malika: ((Definitely XDDD)) B l u r r: Pits... Whirl: *tilts his head* ...You all right? B l u r r: I'm fine. Roadbuster: Ya see there? The younglin is smarter than the average adult male? Sad Malika: I agree Whirl: The baby? The baby's the best character. Starscream: How can the adults be this stupid Malika: They can, trust me B l u r r: Most humans are stupid. Roadbuster: Because they're human. No offence Mali Malika: .... unfortunately Blurr is right B l u r r: K-Kyehheheh. Whirl: *now turns his attention to Malika* I've seen the big guy before, but you're new, twerp. What's your story? Starscream: Yes but the adults shouldn't be stupider than the children ItsyBitsySpyers: =They should smell him.= Airachnid: I think that is the common theme in this program. Malika: Age is not always important *replied to Starscream before looking at Whirl+ I'm a... uhm, the human sister of Roadbuster. He lives inside my house and we help each other against our common enemies. Ki Malika: kinda the long story tho Roadbuster: Well with a bloody name like that fer a reptile. I can see why it's  bein framed Shockbox: ((mmmmmhello people I took a nap for too long.)) Whirl: *small snort of amusement* And does the human sister of Roadbuster have a name...? Or should I just call you "twerp?" Roadbuster: /glares at Whirl/ ONLY I CAN CALL HER A TWERP LAD! KEEP IN YER LANE! B l u r r: HEY! ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Poor human investigation ability must aggravate Prowl. Malika: HEEEEYYY!!! *She frowned much more at Roadbuster*.... Anyway I'm Malika *forgot to rant against roady* Whirl: *glances briefly at Roadbuster, somewhat annoyed... but doesn't rise to it, even if he wants to; he's not here to rile up Blurr's beau* Whirl: *so, he just ignores him. Please appreciate this monumental expression of restraint, Blurr* Malika, then. I... Whirl: *draws himself up and drapes a claw over his chest* Am Ultra Magnus. B l u r r: ... Oh for pit sake. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble giggles* Roadbuster: Yah got ALOT of nerve! B l u r r: / sticks a claw in Roadie's face / ShhhHHHHH. Starscream: It's like watching a room full of Megatrons trying to solve a problem FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Very much so.» Whirl: *puts on an Innocent Expression* Who, me? The Big M himself? Professional killjoy, Duly Appointed Enforcr of the Tyrest Accord? Whirl: I'm made of nerves, mech. Shockbox: *Quietly slips in.* Malika: Okay "Magnus", don't made my brother mad, please-- Malika: *and she was ironic by calling out that name* Whirl: We'll see, Little M. But no promises. Whirl: *he blinks. That was a wink but he only has one eye* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Why would carnivores follow fruits.]] Roadbuster: / swatting the claw out of his face. averts back to the show/ So done with this! FakeProwl: Are all snakes carnivores? Shockbox: @Soundwave: Should I ask for a summary after the showing? B l u r r: / vents and flops next to Roadbuster / ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He has never seen human media with snakes that aren't.]] Starscream: I would assume so ItsyBitsySpyers: @Shockbox: [[A good idea.]] Whirl: *settles again, peeping over the top of his hammock and watching Blurr and RB* Whirl: (( whirl rn: http://www.awesomeinventions.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/loki-hammock.jpg )) Roadbuster: /leans close to Blurr's helm and whispers/ I'm gonna fight a *** soon lad.../plops helm ontop of Blurr's B l u r r: / flickers optic. Reaches up. Pat pat helm with claw / Whirl isn't harmless, but he's just poking fun. He's a good friend of mine. Malika: *Funny fact is that she is listening both of them, since she is on Road's shoulder, but she is concentrated with the show* Shockbox: *Pings acknowledgement, trusting he'll get caught up eventually.* Whirl: Best. Character. Malika: What the- I want that baby. Roadbuster: You are that baby, whatcha on about? Malika: I don't fix thing with only my single mouth... uh. B l u r r: Teeth are perfect weapons. B l u r r: / taps his own / ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ravage yawns and shows off his* ItsyBitsySpyers: *And Soundwave just silently agrees* Malika: This man is such a failure Whirl: ((NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE)) Malika: Oh! It's Blurr and me B l u r r: [[ LMFAO ]] B l u r r: ... That was not how I reacted to you. Starscream: Teeth are awful weapons, only for use when you are unlucky enough to have nothing else Malika: ((Sorry but I had to LMAO) FakeProwl: *covers his mouth* Whirl: I prefer claws to teeth, personally. Roadbuster: He's a terrible actor right now! Roadbuster: or Roadbuster: he's suppose ta be over reactin? FakeProwl: ((... did the stream die or did my internet die)) Airachnid: When you have nothing else, you take what you can get. B l u r r: He's a terrible murderr-rrrr-r. /rubs helm / ItsyBitsySpyers: ((i think your net died)) B l u r r: [[ nooo ;A; ]] Starscream: ((you i think)) Whirl: ((it's running for me)) Malika: ((It's running to me o,o)) B l u r r: [[ shall i pause? ]] Roadbuster: (( IT MESSED FOR ME!)) Malika: ((Pause pause)) ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Bird is nice and Bird knowing picking locks.}} FakeProwl: ((it was my internet)) B l u r r: [[ is it back for you guys? ]] Whirl: Also, Little M, here's a tip to hekp you with your every day life: Don't listen to a single thing he *points at Starscream* Says. Whirl: ((I'm still runnin! )) Starscream: Shut up! Whirl: As you can see, I am doing that right now, by ignoring what he tells me. Airachnid: Very sound advice. Malika: Ow... why so? *she is curious anyway, in fact is looking now toward Starscream* What have you done to him for having such a teatment? Starscream: Shut up, both of you! Whirl: See? Another ringing endorsement. Airachnid: He exists. That's what he's done. Whirl: That's about the long and short of it, yep. Starscream: I hate you Whirl: You can join the club, mech. Malika: .. Don't know if feeling bad for him or not.. *here an indecisive human girl* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[These human younglings have promising futures. If they can evade this Count.]] Shockbox: *thinking reptile-related thoughts.* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\THEY SHOULDA PUNCHED 'EM.\\ Malika: Of course the young ones follows the bad guy Malika: SEE BRO? I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE THEN! B l u r r: YOU shouldn't be following bad guys, either. FakeProwl: ... He's larger than them and he has a knife, why are they going after him. B l u r r: That's why you ended up in MY ship. Starscream: Because no one in this show is smart Whirl: Hey, you shouldn't back down just because someone is bigger than you are, and is better-armed. Fight em anyway! Malika: Ehy, first of all, you picked me up, second.... well, it ended well for Roadbuster- Whirl: *SNICKERS* B l u r r: ... Shut up. Whirl: I'LL say it did. Whirl: I'll say it ended well for BOTH of em. B l u r r: / flickers optic / IT ENDED Airachnid: You can always outsmart them if you have nothing else. B l u r r: IN GENERAL Malika: *Smiling again and again~* Whirl: *he'd high five you, Malika, if he could reach you. ...and if he had fingers* B l u r r: [[ is it working again? ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Is fascinated by this background spy business* FakeProwl: ((fine here)) B l u r r: [[ mkay ]] Malika: *She'd do the same, if she wasn't such a smol potato* Airachnid: [it reminds of the war. good times] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...Where are they keeping these?]] Malika: eh... who has it much more longer? Airachnid: [alright, that was amusing] B l u r r: / scratches finial B l u r r: I have more weapons on me than that. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Yes, but you are not a human.]] Malika: hopefully not hided in weird places... because it looked like they did ItsyBitsySpyers: [[They do not have subspace pockets.]] B l u r r: Hnnh. B l u r r: [[ do you guys want a break? ]] B l u r r: [[ before the next ep? ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((yes please)) Shockbox: (( a good time for shockbox to get caught up?)) Shockbox: (( and by extension, me? )) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((let me brb and yes i can catch you up)) Shockbox: (( much appreciated. )) FakeProwl: ((brb, laundry)) Malika: I should watch series more often with you Blurr, they're kinda amusing B l u r r: ... Hnh? Whirl: *hops up, streeetches, and then trots out into the hallway to pace* B l u r r: / stretches out legs and arms. / Malika: I don't spend my time too much over tv-series... too many books to read and passing my free time by playing games B l u r r: I spend a lot of time, more recently. B l u r r: I won't have time anymore, though... Malika: Why so? A lot of works to do? B l u r r: ... I just got a lot of work B l u r r: Killing that mech came with a lot of reward. B l u r r: But the reward is more than I thought... Malika: Uh? which mech? Reward? Whirl: *tots back in and goes to lea on Blurr's couch* So, who DID you kill, anyway? B l u r r: ... Thundertron. Whirl: Hmm. Never heard of him. B l u r r: Never going to. B l u r r: He's dead. Whirl: *LAUGHS* B l u r r: Hanging on my wall in my trophy room. Whirl: Nice, mech. NICE. *swivels his helm to regard Frenzy* Did you knock off a good chunk, too? ItsyBitsySpyers: \\NAW. THUNDERTRON WAS BLURR.\\ B l u r r: Tore his spine right out... took a heavy beating, though. Malika: Oh YES! This soundtrack! ItsyBitsySpyers: @Shockbox: [[Where were you last?]] B l u r r: /vents and rubs helm. Makes a buzzing sound. Swats helm / ItsyBitsySpyers: ((and whirl HAS heard of him heh Soundwave mentioned him before)) Malika: .... *Hiding under Roadbuster's arm while listening how he killed the mech* FakeProwl: ((back)) B l u r r: [[ wb! ]] Whirl: ((whirl..................... probably forgot)) B l u r r: [[ is everyone back? ]] Whirl: (( 8);; )) Malika: ((wb!)) Shockbox: @Soundwave: I arrived just as the "authorities" arrived to assist with the snake infestation. Whirl: ((wb!)) B l u r r: [[ Roadie's net went pfft so he went to fight it ]] Whirl: *he "smiles" at Fenzy but Blurr's swatting has his attention again* ...you haven't seen a medic yet, have you. B l u r r: Yes, yes I did. Whirl: And I mean a REAL one, not PISTON. Malika: ((Nuuuuu unluckyyy)) B l u r r: Axis installed the upgrade in me. B l u r r: He said it might cause some problems. B l u r r: [[ OKIE is everyone ready? ]] Whirl: Well, be careful with your head, you might knock something loose. Malika: ((I am!)) Whirl: ((I am!)) Airachnid: ye)) Shockbox: (( soundwave is writing a summary of everything shockbox missed)) ItsyBitsySpyers: @Shockbox: [[And before that?]] Malika: ((Airachnid, a question, you're the same that roleplayed with me? o3o)) Airachnid: different one)) FakeProwl: ((ye)) B l u r r: [[ Spider friends ]] Malika: ((Aye oke, just wondering XD nice to meet ya anyway)) Shockbox: @Soundwave: ..I believe I may have missed an entire episode before this last one. Whirl: *that will be the extent of his fretting; instead he nods and makes his way back to his hammock* Oi, Frenzy--you gotta tell me about it sometime. The juicy bits! Airachnid: -fingerguns- hmu anytime url is rapaxregina for ever more spider goodness)) B l u r r: / vents/ In any case, I told him to just install it. B l u r r: I didn't want it to wait. B l u r r: Besides... I have an entire fleet. /scrubs faceplate/ I have to look... impressive. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\THERE WAS LOADSA JUICE. I'LL TELL YA EVERYTHIN'.\\ ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave vents softly in amusement at the news station slogan* Whirl: *nods gleefully; if he had fingers, he'd make finger-guns. Instead, he clambers back into his hammock* Whirl: Yeah well. Be careful. FakeProwl: *also amused at slogan. snorts.* B l u r r: I'm careful.. Whirl: *LAUGHS* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[DAMACLES.]] B l u r r: / he is nEVER CAREFUL / Whirl: *TOSSES IS HEAD BACK AND FLOPS BONELESSLY INTO HIS HAMMOCK, GUFFAWING* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Like the satellite weapon. For Primus' sake.]] B l u r r: ... Whirl: *WHEEZING NOISES* B l u r r: ... /vents / FakeProwl: ... Nice shot. Whirl: *flops completely, offlining his optic. Feigning death* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Shockbox: [[The human children escaped the Count human's marriage plot and were sent to a new human who cared for them very much and treated them well. Count Olaf appeared in-- Whirl: *Blurr has made him laugh himself to death* ItsyBitsySpyers: disguise, convinced the man to let him stay around, and murdered him.]] B l u r r: ... /crosses his arms and leans back in his seat / Malika: Why when I call for a taxy i have to wait 2 hours and they have it... right away? Movies.. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ravage pins his audials back. Running over a cat? How dare.* B l u r r: What I MEANT was... I can be. /rubbing his helm / Whirl: *miraculously is revived, raising his head* I'll believe it when I see it. B l u r r: / makes a face/ The installation of the upgrade was careless on my part. Shockbox: (( /WHEEZE )) B l u r r: [[ LMAO ] ItsyBitsySpyers: //That's rough, buddy.// FakeProwl: ((LOL)) Starscream: ((back)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((wb)) Shockbox: (( yeah wb. )) Malika: ((welcome back)) ItsyBitsySpyers: //Holy scrap.// Whirl: Yeah, well, if you keep having issues, just. Do us all a favor and make sure to get it looked at? Yeah? B l u r r: ... Yeah. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He needs a sign like that.]] Shockbox: *He pings a thanks to Soundwave.* Shockbox: (( screaming when you catch yourself in the mirror? honestly, me too. )) Whirl: Well... you've got a master plaque-maker in your ranks, Soundwave. Malika: ((XDDD when I wake up in the morning and I'm ill, lmao)) Malika: What a beautiful view... ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...Buzzsaw. When you have a free moment not working on that throne, please.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Looks at Prowl and tilts his helm.* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: Prowl wants similar plaque also? Whirl: Throne? *looks to Buzzsaw* Who're you making a throne for? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Thinks it might be useful with the Constructicons* ItsyBitsySpyers: }}Not Thundertron.{{ ItsyBitsySpyers: \\HEH HEH.\\ Whirl: HAH. B l u r r: KYAHAHAHHA!!! B l u r r: Part of him has become part of mine! Whirl: ...Blurr, do you have a THRONE? Malika: part of him.. and his throne B l u r r: Yes, I do. Whirl: Ugh. FakeProwl: Mm... No, thank you. I think my face does the job well enough. Whirl: You're lucky I like you. Malika: Yes he do, and it's kinda cool B l u r r: I made it... for Optimus. B l u r r: But, I brought it with me when... I left. Malika: that woman has problems oh my god. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Uncertain waver. Is he allowed to be amused by that?* Whirl: Well. Extenuating circumstances aside--UGH. B l u r r: /shrugs / FakeProwl: *tiny twitch at the corner of his mouth. he was joking. so yes.* B l u r r: I don't sit in it. Whirl: Good. Whirl: Then I've lost no respect for you. B l u r r: I'm a pirate Captain, I've no time to command from a chair. Whirl: Oh, my god. Airachnid: Is this Ultra Magnus? Whirl: Th--YES. HA/ ItsyBitsySpyers: *Then as soon as he spots the twitch he will nod and huff softly* Whirl: *points at Airachnid* Either she's Ultra Magnus or his perfect mate. Malika: I agree she is Ultra Magnus in disguise Airachnid: Indeed. B l u r r: ...Ew, what is that? B l u r r: [[ THE BABY ]] B l u r r: [[ THAT FACE ]] Malika: ((PRICELESS)) FakeProwl: ... What's the Wesleyan semicolon? Whirl: (9SO GOOD)) Malika: That baby's face is my face when Ultra Magnus explain me things. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He... he does not know. Perhaps it is related to the Oxford comma.]] Airachnid: "Joy" and "grammar" do not belong together. Malika: Well.. it depends from people to people... I guess ItsyBitsySpyers: ((oop it ded)) Malika: ((Omg is black for me D: )) FakeProwl: ((ye)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((it has joined the baudelaires' parents)) FakeProwl: ((it's in peru)) Whirl: ((ye sorry it die)) Whirl: ((i'm being distracted by my vinegaroon)) FakeProwl: ((what's it doing)) Malika: ((guess internet died for Blurr perhaps? :c )) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((it ain't watchin' ASoUE)) FakeProwl: ((yeah they said comcast is being shiitty)) Malika: //Dow!)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Well, while that goes on.* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): What progress, Iacon? Rebuilding, learning, social - negative, public views? Malika: *she snorts* now I get why I hate streaming stuff, can happen everything. Like now. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Rebuilding is going... as well as can be expected.» B l u r r: [[ HOLA ]] Shockbox: (( hello. )) B l u r r: [[ now LS is screwing up 8') ]] FakeProwl: @Soundwave «I have informed the crew that was assigned to me that I don't have any idea what I'm doing, and since then they've been very helpful and instructive.» B l u r r: [[ SIGHS LOUDLY ]] B l u r r: [[ LISTEN HERE COMCAST. LS. ]] B l u r r: [[ BLURRS LAST NIGHT IS NOW. STAHP ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Sits up slightly straighter in surprise.* B l u r r: [[ okay are we back ? ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((back here)) FakeProwl: ((looks like it)) Malika: (( I'm here!)) FakeProwl: ((we cut off somewhere during mr snicket's speech)) B l u r r: [[ back more? ]] FakeProwl: ((close enough)) ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): This, unexpected. Prowl's stress levels lowered? Public notices improvement? FakeProwl: *wan smile* @Soundwave «I wasn't making much progress pretending I was an expert.» ItsyBitsySpyers: [[So the narrator *is* a character.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Going to record that smile even if it's not the kind he most likes.* FakeProwl: ... Momento Morris' Souvenirs. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Ha.]] Malika: HOLI ***! Even this woman like Magnus loves weird stuff! Whirl: Our Magnus isn't quite this... eccentric. Starscream: At least she tried Whirl: *they have only one junkhound on the LL* Malika: Well neither mine is eccentric, fortunately Airachnid: At least she has more of a personality than Ultra Magnus. Malika: .....poor Magnus *she makes a sad face* Whirl: Eh, he deserves it Whirl: Ours does, at least. Airachnid: Don't bother pitying him. Starscream: She reminds me of my Demolisher Starscream: Insane B l u r r: My Magnus has no face... Whirl: And...? Whirl: *tilts his helm* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: Soundwave, pleased construction crew helps. Perhaps appropriate response: appreciative gesture? B l u r r: I wonder how he's doing these days... FakeProwl: @Soundwave «It's improved the work. I don't think the public's noticed that the pace has increased, but they're complaining less about me.» B l u r r: He's stopped looking for me FakeProwl: *glances at Soundwave «What sort of appreciative gesture?» Whirl: *snickers* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Safe cr--!]] Whirl: *Sunny is such the best character* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Good. The fewer complaints, the better.* ItsyBitsySpyers: //How d'ya know he stopped lookin' for ya if ya ain't seen him?// B l u r r: I don't think he's interested in me anymore. /scrubs faceplate/ B l u r r: But, I also don't think he could stand up against the fleet I stole. Whirl: Trust me, Teach. That's a good thing. Whirl: We could all benefir with a little less Ultra Magnus in our lives. B l u r r: Kyeheh FakeProwl: She's going to die. Whirl: Yep. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): ...What quality fuel construction crew given? Another question: This, first project together? ItsyBitsySpyers: *He's poking over a few small ideas* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[It does seem to be a running theme.]] FakeProwl: @Soundwave «I don't know. But better than I have access to, I have little doubt.» Whirl: That's what happens when you get youself twitterpated. Whirl: Well. Siome of the time. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Captain Sham! Oh, he loves the language humor so much.* B l u r r: ... eugh. Malika: this guy... is worst than the Team Rocket Whirl: Oh lord. They're terrible. Whirl: They're the WORST. Airachnid: This is getting absurd. B l u r r: [[ im that seller ]] Malika: *she facepalmed for at least three times* Whirl: ((FISH HEADS FISH HEADS EAT THEM UP YUM)) B l u r r: [[ at work ]] Whirl: ((I SEE WHAT U DID THERE SHOW)) B l u r r: [[ I have limes. I sell limes ]] Whirl: ((MAN THEY COULD NOT HAVE CAST cOUNT oLAF BETTER)) Whirl: ((NPH is  a damned gift)) B l u r r: [[ I KNOW RIGHT ]] FakeProwl: ((he is)) Malika: ....*her brain totally ran off because of the show* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Perhaps celebration required when initial project completed. Malika: OMG- the grammaaaaaaar Whirl: Someone put me out of my misery. Whirl: Who wants to kill me. Malika: after me thanks Whirl: How about you kill me, and then we get someone else to kill you. Malika: and this is how "a ship is sailed", HA-HA FakeProwl: @Soundwave «I doubt it'll be within my authority to offer it.» Malika: ..how am I supposed to kill you if I'm such an insect compared to your size? B l u r r: You'd be surprised. Whirl: Yeah. A single scraplet could kill me. Whirl: If I sit really still you can probably stuff a bomb in my vestigial fuel intake or something... Malika: Those cute things called scraplet~ Malika: eww.. no thanks, not into killing people randomly for real B l u r r: ... /makes a face/ What an awful name. Whirl: The ones from his dimension--*nods to Soundwave* Are ADORABLE. With the teeth? Whirl: Ours ae microscopic. B l u r r: How are they all so stupid? Malika: good question Blurr Whirl: This obviously isn't meant to be a hyper-realistic television series, Teach. B l u r r: [[ i love that that kid is literally the guy from Jurassic World ]] Whirl: It's, y'know, kinda darkly whimsical. Whirl: The incredible contrivances, themselves, are part of the humor FakeProwl: *has prowl mentioned lately that he's really enjoying the dialogue? because he's really enjoying the dialogue* B l u r r: ... He's obnoxious. Airachnid: Extremely. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Prowl's position: foreman. If held on work site, small celebration: motivational move. Prowl useless if construction crew mutinies. Good leadership knows encouragement value. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Perhaps Starscream knows this too. Starscream: even Megatron knows that much, he doesn't use it, but he knows it Whirl: *is genuinely enjoying the multi-layered and very clever presentation of this show* Malika: ((Sorry guys, but I'm in need of lay on bed @.@ Mali will fall asleep or just be silent while watching the show. Have a nice time!)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((byeeee)) B l u r r: [[ okie dokie! Bye Mali!! ]] Starscream: ((bye)) Whirl: ((Nice meeting ya! Have a good night!)_) Airachnid: bye!)) ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Bird knowing this trick! Alternate did! Is fake suicide.}} FakeProwl: ((gnight)) FakeProwl: @Soundwave «I'm a foreman under house arrest. I don't have the authority to choose to stay after work, much less to arrange a party.» ItsyBitsySpyers: *Patiently* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): That, reason Starscream contact suggested. B l u r r: [[ okay i shall end it here unless you guys want one more ]] FakeProwl: @Soundwave «The workers under me know I'm under arrest too. They understand I can't give them anything outside of work.» ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Suggest photo opportunity. Share across planet. Whirl: 9(i'm fine either way!)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((i'll go with majority opinion)) Airachnid: fine with me)) FakeProwl: @Soundwave «And if I did receive permission from Starscream to stay late, that would expose to all of Iacon that I have more freedom to move than they thought.» B l u r r: [[ u guys r not great w/ decisions ]] B l u r r: [[ neither am i ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Vent.* FakeProwl: ((gimme a second to move my laundry forward and then i'm ready)) B l u r r: mmkay. ]] B l u r r: lemme know ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *If he could just - but no. No tampering with the population.* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Understood. Soundwave will continue thinking. B l u r r: Ahh... /gets up and zooms across the room for energon / B l u r r: / zoom zoom / ItsyBitsySpyers: \\HEH HEH.\\ FakeProwl: ((back. the dryer was still being used.)) B l u r r: [[ hallo! ]] B l u r r: [[ want to wait?? oo; ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: \\YOU LOVE THAT FRAGGIN' THING.\\ B l u r r: [[ or are yall good to start? ]] B l u r r: ... /looks at Frenzy/ Guilty. FakeProwl: ((no need to wait, i have no clue when it'll be available)) FakeProwl: @Soundwave «... You needn't be overly concerned. Thus far, everything is progressing smoothly. It isn't fast, but I never predicted it would be.» Whirl: ((i'm fine for one more if everyone else is)) B l u r r: I do rather love it. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Looks at him from one side of his visor and then the other* B l u r r: It's made me much faster than I thought. B l u r r: /zooms back over and flops down / B l u r r: I wonder what its limits are... ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): As Prowl wishes. *slow helm bob* Inform if decision changes. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «I'll let you know.» ItsyBitsySpyers: \\PROBABLY YA DON'T WANNA DO THAT IN HERE. GONNA SMASH INTO A WALL.\\ ItsyBitsySpyers: \\TEST IT, LIKE... ON A TRACK.\\ B l u r r: ... True. Starscream: That is a very distinct outline in the window Whirl: Listen to Frenzy. Frenzy is wise. B l u r r: I don't know. I'm not a racer. Whirl: *flops back completely, relaxing into the hammock* ItsyBitsySpyers: //I ain't never heard nobody say that before.// ItsyBitsySpyers: //I can die havin' heard everythin' now.// ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble glances to Soundwave* //Beat ya to it, Boss.// Whirl: *snickers* Whirl: I dunno, there's plenty of things I'VE never said before, Rumble. Airachnid: It's obviously forged come on. Whirl: *nods* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Yeah? Whatcha ain't said yet?// Whirl: I dunno. Various... colors. Whirl: I've never gotten twitterpated and said outrageously mushys tuff. *sly glance to Blurr* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Pffftheheheh.// ItsyBitsySpyers: //Like what?// B l u r r: ... I don't say mushy stuff. ItsyBitsySpyers: *She wrote it with errors on purpose?* Whirl: *innocent look* We're talking about me, not you, Blurr. Whirl: Why would you think we're talking about you? B l u r r: ... you looked at me. Whirl: I was looking forward. i's hard to tell where exactly I'm staring. Whirl: And... hmm. Whirl: *tries to think of something mushy* B l u r r: ... /frowns / B l u r r: I've no reason to say mushy things anyway ItsyBitsySpyers: //Have ya ever said, uh, uh... "Oh, my truest love, I'da thrown myself on a knife for ya, but there wasn't none so I threw myself on the berth instead?// Whirl: SNICKERS. Whirl: * add those Whirl: No, no... let's see. If I was trying to woo someone... FakeProwl: ((and now we've all heard whirl shout "snickers")) FakeProwl: ((we truly have heard everything tonight)) B l u r r: yes ]] Whirl: ((it is Done. the pact is sealed)) Airachnid: byotiful)) ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He knows of that plant.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...He likes that plant.]] FakeProwl: Yes, we saw a musical about it. Whirl: *SQUINTS* I'd... say.. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[No, no. That was an alien plant.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[These are Earthen.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...But he likes that one too.]] Whirl: ... Whirl: I don't know what I'd say. Starscream: It seems like every day for him ItsyBitsySpyers: //Aw, c'mon. Ya gotta know somethin'. What's - what's somethin' you'd wanna get told?// Whirl: *thinks again* ItsyBitsySpyers: //'N you too, Blurr. I wanna hear this.// Whirl: I guess... 'You fight good?'" Whirl: ((line picked from Mulan on purpose)) Whirl: Or wait, no. No. 'You kick some SERIOUS aft.' ItsyBitsySpyers: \\SOUNDS GOOD T' ME.\\ B l u r r: ... What? Whirl: Okay, wait, o. I've got it. If someone was trying to woo me, this is what they'd need to say--you ready? You ready for this? ItsyBitsySpyers: //Mush, Blurr. I wanna hear it. 'N yeah, I'm ready.// B l u r r: ... /makes a face/ I don't... I don't know. Whirl: *deep breath* Whirl: Killer moves. Whirl: That's my signal. Whirl: And, pfft, how do you not know, Blurr? *I* have an excuse. You don't Airachnid: Do you mean in actual fighting... or by dance? Because I am not too bad at either. Whirl: We-ell... I don't DANCE... *A LIE* But mostly fighting. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble throws his hands up in the air. How is HE the mushiest bot in this room?* Whirl: *WHIRL HAS NEVE BEEN IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP U GOTTA GIVE HIM A DAMN BREAK* Airachnid: [trust me you do not want to flirt with Airachnid] Whirl: *you underestmate whirl* Whirl: *he MIGHT, Airachnid... he might* B l u r r: ... I don't know what tosay. Airachnid: [and she will not mind that] B l u r r: / crosses arms over his chassis / Whirl: *it would end in blood. But that might not be a bad thing* Airachnid: [that's a good thing, for her] B l u r r: /vents/ B l u r r: / thinking/ ... B l u r r: /waves claw/ I don't know what to say. I have nothing to say. FakeProwl: ((i appreciate u, moby dick fanboy)) Whirl: *ah, he's back. and still so bad with his claws. MEMORIES~* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Airachnid? Prowl? Nobody?// ItsyBitsySpyers: *He shakes his helm* B l u r r: Well, I mean... FakeProwl: What? *wasn't paying attention* Whirl: Hey, I told you mine. Whirl: *blinks at* B l u r r: It depends on what you'd want me to say. B l u r r: Mushy isn't... descriptive. Whirl: Was that not GOOD enough? ItsyBitsySpyers: //Naw, you're excused. Ya got somethin'.// Whirl: *nods; GOOD* Whirl: *He happens to think "killer moves" is VERY romantic* Airachnid: [likewise] B l u r r: / vents. / ItsyBitsySpyers: //I was testin' how good you big fraggers is at mushin' at some mech.// Whirl: I'm sure that when I do it I'll be okay. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((LMAO THE BABY)) Whirl: I've not tried yet. Whirl: ((THE BABY)) B l u r r: [[ the baby jfc ]] FakeProwl: Oh. ... I'm awful. B l u r r: ... I can be poetic at the best of times. Whirl: So you SAY, and yet I know you've landed at least TWO. Pfft. Whirl: *gestures to Soundwave* Airachnid: Mainly, mecha flirt with ME first and try to impress me. B l u r r: ... what? Whirl: Clearly--*dryly* ou're doing SOMETHING right, prowl./ Whirl: ((wow my typing is horrible. forgive me. i got into the rum)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((thiiiis backfired on me)) Whirl: ((as per usual)) Whirl: ((HAHAHA)) Whirl: ((you thought whirl would just gloat over Blurr's relationship... PLOT TWIST EVERYBODY'S ON BLAST TONIGHT)) FakeProwl: I can assure you, it's not mush. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Poetic? Yeah? Ya remember any?// ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy gives Airachnid a thumb up. THat's the way to do it.* B l u r r: ... I remember plenty. Whirl: Mushy ENOUGH Airachnid: [she appreciates the gesture Frenzy] Whirl: All you mecha are mushy in SOME way. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ravage snorts.* Whirl: Even you, Airachnid. I seen the way you look at those videos of ratchet* Airachnid: [she wants to be mad, but he has a point] Whirl: *sly look* Airachnid: What can I say? He's charming. At least the one I'm courting. B l u r r: Like when I told JT that his optics burned into me like the smelting pit, eating my polymer through and melting my wiring. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Ha! Ya *do* got somethin'.// Airachnid: Well, he wooed me first. Whirl: *clicks his claws in the closest approximation of a fingr gun* Mech, allow me to wish you the best of luck. Whirl: *to Airachnid, of course* Whirl: And yeah, teach, that ain't bad. B l u r r: ... /pulls leg up. Props chin on his knee/ B l u r r: My best comes out with Optimus Prime, I suppose. B l u r r: / dims optic/ ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble pings the Boss an apology for getting them dragged in. Soundwave forwards it to the appropriate party.* Whirl: Optimus... was. Whirl: Interesting. *optic contracts* FakeProwl: *small nod* B l u r r: They all were interesting at some point... Whirl: *pauses; has he playfully tormented everyone in the room over their romanic relations yet? Every one he knows of, at least* Whirl: *settles in, satisfied; his work is done* B l u r r: [[ A JET SKI ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble wisely does not mention his own.* Whirl: *he knows about Frenzy's... I don't think he kniws about Rumble's. YET* FakeProwl: ... she could hsave saved the children a load of trouble by ripping off the bottom of the letter before faking her death. Whirl: *fo the record. everyone here has permission to turn the tables, if the opportunity arises* Whirl: *if whirl gets twitter[ated he'll take his medicine gracefully* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Yet another incompetent elder human.]] Starscream: As in sword of damoclese Starscream: hmmm Whirl: *perks up* Whirl: *do we get to see leeches devour someone* FakeProwl: ... Why didn't she tell them she ate a banana?! They could have spared an hour. Whirl: ... Whirl: Aww!~ Whirl: They're precious! ItsyBitsySpyers: [[What lovely maws.]] Whirl: I know, right? Airachnid: How adorable. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[They remind him of the drillers.]] Whirl: Also precious. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...If drillers were wiggling flesh creatures.]] Whirl: *a very insightful little line there* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((i fell into a coughing fit what did i miss)) B l u r r: ... what a romantic pair. / vents/ FakeProwl: ((they caught the attention of a ferry)) Whirl: ((r u ok dude?:<)) FakeProwl: ((their parents are overhead in a plane but missed them)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((allergies/cold)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((omg so their parents aren't dead?)) Whirl: ((*pats u*)) B l u r r: [[ their parents are alive! ]] FakeProwl: ((that was in like episode 2. the people who escaped jail, ended up coming out of a door next to a waterfall, and got in a brawl in a peruvian bar were their parents)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((i missed hearing that was who they were aaaaah)) ItsyBitsySpyers: \\PUNCH HIS LIGHTS OUT\\ Whirl: Do it!\ ItsyBitsySpyers: \\STUFF A MUFFIN IN HIS MOUTH 'N SHOVE HIM IN THE WATER\\ FakeProwl: Stop ranting at him and do something before he shoves you off the boat. B l u r r: Kill him, you slagger. Whirl: Strangle him! Whirl: Bust his teeth out! Whirl: Take that match and shove it in his eye! B l u r r: ... /makes a face / Whirl: Wasted opportunity. Whirl: So... Whirl: Magnus Schmagnus. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\RULES SCHMULES.\\ Whirl: Hell yeah! ItsyBitsySpyers: \\...I LIKE IT.\\ Whirl: Frenzy. Mech. I missed you. B l u r r: Oh for pit sake. B l u r r: I had to deal with this the whole time Whirl: *snickers* FakeProwl: ... Look at that. They're absorbing educational TV. B l u r r: / doesn't sound too disappointed / ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy looks horrified by Prowl's comment* Whirl: *we learned good* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\EDUCATIONAL TV, SCHMEDUCATIONAL TV.\\ Whirl: HAHA! ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy giggles and holds his hands out to Blurr and Whirl for slapping* B l u r r: / slaps his hand all the same / ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave just gives his helm a little shake* Airachnid: It's impossible. Whirl: *aps his claw into Frenzy's palm* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Wait. Is that true?// B l u r r: He's useless... B l u r r: [[ okay and next stream will be last 2 eps ]] Whirl: *stretches* Whirl: Thanks, Blurr. I missed some of this series, but it's pretty all right. Whirl: @Blurr: And once again... congrats, mech. Whirl: *outwardly he looks like he's nonchalantly clambering out of his hammock* @BLurr: I'm happy for ya. I mean it. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave stretches his legs and gives the avatar a quick squeeze with his free arm in case Prowl's about to flicker out.* B l u r r: / makes a face / ItsyBitsySpyers: *The minis slowly rouse themselves too - Frenzy slower than most, as worn out as he is - and slowly make their way toward his couch* B l u r r: @Whirl: :: ... It's complicated. :: FakeProwl: *takes hand and squeezes back* Whirl: @Blurr: Complicated is still SOMETHING, mech. I'm sureyou'll work it out. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Appreciative ping* Whirl: *pauses; he was forced to think about... certain things, this evening, even in jest. It put some stuff into perspective* B l u r r: @ Whirl: :: It isn't... it's different. :: Whirl: @Blurr: Hey. It's SOMETHING. Not all of us are that lucky, mech. At least you've go SOMEONE. Whirl: @Blurr: Fight for him. *affectionately* idiot. B l u r r: / just makes a face. Scrubs faceplate / B l u r r: / looks a lt more tired than before / B l u r r: *lot B l u r r: @Whirl: :: Fight who... there's no one to fight. :: Whirl: @Blurr: Not who. What. B l u r r: / confused noise. Buries helm in claws / Whirl: @Blurr: Look--I've sene you two. Out there on Earth. Lord, I can't believe I gotta be mushy on YOUR behalf--just. Don't let it go, all right? Whirl: @Blurr: some of us never had a chance. Don't waste yours. B l u r r: / more noises / B l u r r: @Whirl: :: We weren't friends on Earth... we just became friends. :: Whirl: @Blurr: And? B l u r r: @ Whirl: : That's all it was supposed to be. :: B l u r r: @ Whirl: :: I drew the line right there, in the dirt. I drew the line and said it was friends. We were friends. :: Whirl: @Blurr: Pfft. Whirl: @Blurr: Look, even I can see that's all wishful thinking. B l u r r: @ Whirl: :: It's complicated ... :: B l u r r: / drags claws down face / Whirl: @Blurr: So make it simple, stupid! God, I don;'t understand you people at all. Whirl: @Blurr: You get something, and then you have to make OBSTACLES for yourselves. So stupid.' Airachnid: [is going to sneak off now, she does wave at Whirl though before departing] Whirl: *bobs his head cordially* B l u r r: @Whirl: :: I didn't make the obstacle... it's just- nevermind. :: B l u r r: / looks worn out / Whirl: @Blurr: No. You're just being stubborn. B l u r r: / and a little spaced out / B l u r r: @Whirl: ::... Nevermind. :: B l u r r: / twitches claws/ @Whirl: :: It's nothing. We're fine. :: Whirl: *even if Blurr seems worn out, Whirl doesn't relent* @Blurr: You can nevermind me all you want, but here's the bottom line: I see what's going on. And if you wanna walk away, fine. Do it. Whirl: @Blurr: But don't you dare blame anyone but yourself, idiot. Not everyone has the chance you do; some of us never will. B l u r r: @ Whirl: :: What if the chance I take is based on something else? :: Whirl: @Blurr: Makes no god damn difference, if you ask me. B l u r r: @ Whirl: :: I know who he is. I know who Roads was. What if my faulty processor can't tell the difference? What if I don't know what I want from THIS one.:: Whirl: @Blurr: Who CARES? B l u r r: / rubbing his temples  /@Whirl: :: /I/ CARe. Whirl: @Blurr: if he's happy anf you're happy, who CARES? ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Rest needed or projection at Soundwave's possible? B l u r r: / mumbling to himself. / @ Whirl: :: I don't replace people. I won't replace Roads... I can't. :: Whirl: *Whirl cycles a sigh, but that;s the only visible sign of exasperation* ... @Blurr: Okay. Full disclosure: I understand that bit. A little. Whirl: @Blurr: Getting... close to someone. And then being faced with their alternate. I get that. it's... weird. B l u r r: / scrubbing faceplate/ Whirl: @Blurr: But what's happened isn't gonna UN-happen anytime soon. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «I could come over for a little bit.» B l u r r: @Whirl: :: ... I know it won't. :: Whirl: @Blurr: So just roll with what you've GOT. If things were as good as you say they were, then he'd want you to be happy, right? That's usually the way things work. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Lights glow just a tad brighter. He's pleased as pit.* Whirl: @Blurr:Nobody's asking you to replace anything. Everything' s AL;READY different. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Come. Dominoes received. Plan needed for future project. B l u r r: @ Whirl: I don't know. Whirl: @Blurr: Well, if you let it go, it's your fault, and nobody else's, Teach. B l u r r: @ Whirl: I never said that I was letting go... /drags claws down his face. VENTS loudly / Whirl: @Blurr: But regardless of whether or not HE'S here necxt week, you're gonna see MY sorry face. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Carefully extricates himself and lets the minis dock. He'll ping when it's all right to patch in.* Whirl: *he's not good at this; he's tyring but he's very very bad at this* B l u r r: ... /just gets up. twitches finials/ ...I'm tired. Whirl: get some shuteye, Teach. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Is that so. Then by all means, I ought to assist.» Whirl: @Blurr: Look. Maybe comm me in the morning? B l u r r: / waves claw a little/ ... B l u r r: @Whirl: ::... Yeah. Sounds good. :: Whirl: @Blurr: All right. I'm obviously... ot good at this but still. Whirl: *bobs his head* Seeya, losers! B l u r r: @ Whirl: No... it's okay. Thanks. FakeProwl: *sits up straighter* @Soundwave «I'll let the Constructicons know I'll be up late.» *a farewell ping, and flickers out.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Sharp nod and a ping of gratitude. Then one of farewell for Whirl and Blurr before he makes his escape* B l u r r: / lifts claw. Waves . Zoom zooms the fack out of the room / Whirl: *bobs his helm to Siundwave's retreating form* Whirl: ... Whirl: *HE'S THE LAST ONE HERE* Whirl: ...................*briefly contemplates leavin graffiti* ItsyBitsySpyers: *DO IT* B l u r r: / yes do it/ Whirl: *he COULD write "praise heqet"... but no. Whirl will just leave, alone* Whirl: *maybe next time* FakeProwl: ((follow rumble's example)) FakeProwl: ((write "ultra magnus was here")) Whirl: ((excuse u whirl has a fine tradition of writing "whirl wuz here")) Whirl: ((but................... maybe next time))

[mine-vaganti]

Hi! About your last ask post, since I haven’t seen any answered yet, I’ll ask ten (only if you want to, ofc) : 8, 13, 23, 44, 56, 87, 90, 97, 99, 100 😊

heyyy!!!!! thank u so much for sending me all these numbers despite me not having answered anything!ill answer these under the cut :)

8.what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?uhhhh none. i used to write a diary but even thinking about rereading that stuff in there makes me cringe and i have a very good memory so.. don’t need that. i usually just scream here on tumblr or on twitter. im just way to lazy and impatient to be artistic.

13.what's something that made you smile today?already answered here

23.what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?mhhhhhh staying in bed and watching shows or movies ive that are on my list. second is going out for drinks w friends if i can afford lying in bed the next day.

44.when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?hard to answer cause i never calm down ever but my nye party was really cool and i had fun the whole night without worrying or crying about anything!!

56.what are some things you find endearing in people?i mean...... this really differs from person to person but the thing i pay attention to the most is the way someone talks or moves and their facial expressions

87.what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?everyone should watch ferzan özpetek’s “mine vaganti” and also “le fate ignoranti”

90.talk about your one of you favorite cities.JUST ONE??? ok im gonna talk about the city i was born in, Heidelberg.ok so fun fact Heidelberg is one of those cities that were lucky enough not to be completely destroyed during WWII. very small for a city but very beautiful. the italians there are cool. they have a cool uni, i wanted to study translation studies there but my mum kinda talked me out of it. when my dad came to germany he studied italian and german there. he insisted that every of his children would be born there, even though after my parents moved home it wasn’t the nearest hospital.

97.myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?i always struggle about my mbt, i think im somewhere betwen INTP and INFP. my zodiac sign is sagittarius. i never chose a hogwarts house for myself cause im way too uneducated in that matter but tests either say hufflepuff or ravenclaw.

99.list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.kings of leon - pyroalt-j - tarocláudia pascoal & isaura - o jardímjoji - bitter fuck & slow dancing in the darkthe national - the system only dreams in total darknessarcade fire - everything nowdonots - dead man walkingleoniden - people & 1990linkin park - breaking the habit & what i’ve donetame impala - the less i know the betteritchy - the lottery & king and queensflorence + the machine - queen of peace & make up your mind(literally never ask me about music i will NEVER shut up)

100.if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?ok let’s think. 5 years ago i was 17 and just starting my a-levels. i could go back and maybe work on a better GPA.. but i came to the conclusion that i don’t want to study at university so screw that anyways. despite my very very average GPA and my horrendous marks in maths and german i managed to get a job as an apprentice. once i’m done with that no one will care about my a-levels GPA. so tl;dr i’d go 5 years into the future. why? cause i’ll be done with job training and hopefully full employed at the company i’m currently at. most probably also finally moved out from home and i’m so looking forward to decorating my own appartment.

[somedaypast-thesunset]

i thought to myself, “i dont want to be in love with someone who doesn’t want a future.”

and maybe some years ago i wouldve taken this thought as an action - i might’ve tried to create a rift in the relationship or seek things out to confirm suspicions (which has already been close to happening anyways) so i would have a reason to not be in love with them - so i could make them the enemy; a person doing something “bad”. 

but i guess i’m old enough now to understand this statement. it’s not an action; it’s a thought and it can be taken point blank. i dont _want_ to be in love with someone. because that’s painful and useless and so, so sad. 

he said, “we’ve been hanging out a lot. maybe we can hang out tomorrow.” 

i’ve gotten this before. and it’s a bit ironic, i knew i wouldn’t really see him today because we had an event to go to. and i was okay with that - i guess romanticizing this glamorous idea that we’re somebodies - we’re “something” going out and we kiss and go home. 

but i really dislike having no control over things at all. and it’s not that i want to “control” anybody or anything - i just feel like his availability to me is very circumstantial and is one of the worst processes in the relationship. it continually adds to my anxiety and maybe even my insecurities. 

i know i have issues with perceived abandonment. which is completely and totally fair to my life situation - i no longer see it as a true flaw to my being but as a statement of my life. why wouldnt i? a person would develop such feelings over time if they had my experiences as well. is it an issue? issues can be fixed. so is it an anxiety or an insecurity? maybe it’s just both. 

i want to be able to be like hey, i’m coming over, see you soon. just one time be able to do that. and after nine months and developing the relationship we have, i feel like i should be able to. but anytime i’ve tried, i’ve been deterred. why cant it be like, i’ll see you tomorrow at 6? or around 8? like it always feels like when we say goodbye, there’s a possibility i wont see him again. not like hes going to die, but that he could just get up and walk away. just wake up tomorrow and decide this isn’t what he wants. does my presence even make a difference in that kind of decision? probably not - but i have this fear because he speaks openly about everything, including his desire to move away and take trips and just generally not care that i’m someone who he’s developed a close relationship with. 

not that i’m saying he should _not_ do these things either. he should; but the way he speaks about them it just sounds like he could become a new person in a new life tomorrow. and maybe he could. i also don’t believe he doesn’t actually care at all about me. but his caring increasingly feels obvious at arm’s length and frequently one sided towards him. 

it could be worth talking about. which is so scary and real because i’ve never really ever in my life put myself out there like that. i’ve done desperate and dumb things, but they were more in jest that turned out embarassing later because it was just like.. not the right time or place or frame of mind. but he also doesnt like talking about relationship things. it’s easier for him to think this isn’t a relationship that requires talking about in such ways. but we’ve talked about things before - we’re so close because of our ability to communicate with each other and neither of us has ever gotten along with someone on these level. 

but to bring up the fact that i have this ever lingering feeling of something not being right within myself - i dont know. like i believe he can live his life. just do whatever the fuck he wants to do. and in return i also have that same freedom and that’s great. we live individual lives and get to be individual people and it’s kind of new to both of us because we’ve siphoned our identities alot from our partners at the time. so to get to truly be ourselves in the most pure ways is great. 

truly though, i just want to be with someone. i dont want to sit alone in an apartment. its literally my least favourite thing and i do it _all the fucking time_. i could solve these problems by going out but at the en of the day you still return to sit in an empty apartment. 

it sounds kind of basic though doesnt it? maybe kind of whiny - “i just want to be with someone”. i’m not alone now. i guess? maybe this truly is not highschool anymore. maybe it’s not about “having” someone. i dont need to have this “boyfriend” in my life. this person i see on a semi regular basis to hang out and have sex with. i need to build a family. like - i did it professionally. and i’ve grown through it as well and like i’m not saying i want to have children (at all) tomorrow or get married but i want to be apart of someones life. i want to see the people they care about. i hope to have the ability to care about them too. i want to make decisions together and bare the weight of those decisions together. i want to feel a responsibility to their well being and feel the necessity in creating an easement to achieve whatever it is they want to do or be. i want to feel a stronger obligation to be better to myself to be able to fulfill my own goals and contribute to theirs more positively. 

in my romantic world - we’d move in together next week and create this fantastic little life and i’d just be better in some way. i don’t know. but in reality my anxiety about wanting to be able to say ‘see you tomorrow around 6′ just one time translate to a bigger issue of wanting to be able ot say, hey in 6 months do you thik we could think about living together? do you think we could start building _something_ instead of just spinning our wheels? 

which i know is something he already is dealing with in his personality to begin with - he’s spinning his tires completely and i’m in the back seat smoking weed and eating cookies, occassionally getting out to stretch my legs or being forced to walk to get gas. 

he’s said we’re walking our individual paths and if those paths happen to cross, then great - if not, it’s okay. he did this skit that i’ve been thinking about a lot. and maybe he didn’t think about it when he wrote it, or maybe it’s about something else compltely but one quote always comes to mind, “she guided us here. she knew the way.” maybe in some subconcious connection it’s like i took him down this path. maybe i’m forcing him down it - or maybe he feels like i am. 

he told me he loved me, that he was in love with me, within two months of us being together. which he himself knew was weird and maybe inappropriate to say. is it wrong now to ask at nine months what we’re doing? 

it’s not really about seeing him tomorrow. or the day after. or next week. it’s about how long in the future will i see him and to what proximity can we work towards that being. i want to try and see a future. maybe thats a positive thing even. maybe thats why its pressing on me as much as it has been. i want to see a future. i want to see what will happen in six months. i want to be here in six months; not “here” but like, existing on the planet. and i want to plan in some way for that. i’m feeling like change needs to happen. i’m also spinning my tires, if i’m being honest about myself.  i’ve been picking at smal things - cleaning out closets & organizing things that are meaningless, cutting my hair & just being hyper detail oriented because i want change. i’ve even come so far to accept giving up my cats. i’ll keep them for as long as possible but i think i’ll live if i have to do something about owning them. i’ve cleared out a lot of things i own because theyre not useful or old or broken and it’s left me with the necessities and a few other things. i feel like i could let go of more and live fine. i’d almost like to live in a room again. but maybe it’s just feeling the big emptiness of this apartment. 

within a thin veil of positivity though is still a deep depression. i do feel like its a daily battle to do even the bare minimum. i have a really long way to go and i know that and the support i’ve been given has been top notch. i couldnt really ask for better from someone who doesnt really have that much of a connection to me outside of the one weve recently built. hes been a truly amzing human being. he has really not asked for anything in return either, but i dont think ive given him a reason to. 

i managed to help organize a show & make a book cover for a published book this year amidst the worst depression and health issues of my life because i’m still trying. i’m still fucking here. i truly did not want to be and i’m a little hesistant now but i’m still here. and i’ll be here tomorrow. i guess in some ways i feel like .. imagine what i could do with a little hope? beyond support now; what about hope? just something that could make me believe that what i want is in my future and if its not then let me move on. let me grieve and move on. i fear loss in my life and i think those who know me fear loss in my life for me as well - like it’ll have to be a life long bond now that we’re friends. and maybe sometimes i’d even like it to be, but i know friends come and go. 

on a personal level i feel like he’s kind of my best friend and someone whos one of a kind to my life not becuse he’s so unique but because hes so similar. he’s truly normalized alot for me and allowed me to feel like an actual human and not some demented version of one. i will honestly cherish knowing that. so i have no problem hanging out with him regularly. i truthfully see him about 4 hours a day, where he may also be playing video games for atleast half or more of those hours. which is fine, but i wish he’d recognize that despite me being there, its nothing really special. 

i know he loves me. and i guess hes so good in so many other ways that it’s even hard to point out these things because i dont even want to paint the picture that this is some lazy uncaring jerk. he works all the time and gives alot of his free time to me when he could be alone or with others. and i appreciate and respect that but i feel even after nine months i’m intruding. i want to feel comfortable. i want to know i have a place with him in his life. but right now i’m just.. there. just this little shadow that he sometimes has. 

professionally i know if i shake my haze and harness the lessons ive learned and shed my own perceptions, i’ll build to something worthy. maybe financially viable. i dont know if itll be stable, i dont know if itll be a lot but i know i can do something. ive truly created something people believe to have a competitive edge and ive realized that knowledge i have is beyond the general public. i can do something very real and very serious and i believe even the people around me know i have the power to do that but i’m fucked up just enough to linger in the background; always lingering in the background.

can i sell a hypothetical? can i use it as a standing point - that i “know” somewhere in the future, i’ll be something more than this. i’ll have success in something, somewhere. you just have to trust and believe in me. which is just an odd statement to make and a really shaky ground to stand on. 

i need to quietly refocus - regardless. and i say that hesistantly; “regardless” means nothing has changed or i’m just left with nothing on this end of the spectrum. i was already looking forward to doing work tomorrow and i want to / am trying to build the energy & desire to really go through with a fine tooth to step it up that much more. but this has a cloud over it as well. i could wake up and decide its all not worth it because theres no hope. i cannot fully achieve what i want to be and do alone.i am prepared to always trade myself and my variety of skills for non-monetary gains in my life to live with the success that i want. 

my father told me that in order to succeed in school, you had to play their game. and thats applicable to much of life - life is a long drawn out very complicated with questionable rules game. maybe with some pieces missing as well. and if you figure out a way to play the game, you’ll survive. you might win, but most will just make it to the end. some get taken out too. some just dont figure out how to play the game. have i? i dont know. but i’m putting faith in my method because i entered the game slightly too late and dont have time or resources to catch up. i guess unfortunately part of the plan is convincing someone else to invest their time and resources into my plan. 

am i talking about business or romance now? i cant even remember.