#anyway i think it would just help me think of silly selfship things too ......

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

I've been thinking and. Should I just. Merge my blogs and put everything here. Cause at first I made seperate blogs because I didn't want to bombard everyone with nonsense every couple of months about some new characters I found so I kept making seperate blogs especially cause I didn't anticipate it happening again and again but now I'm like. Should I just stick everything under this blog. Or at the very least cut it down to two blogs where I have this one and the second one can just be for my every couple of monthly nonsense where I spew about whatever I found.

[cherrylight]

im restarting my animal crossing new horizons island after not playing it for several months ....

[silverflqmes]

ignore that im on my selfship account it’s luma lmao

some selfship questions for u and tooru <3

•does tooru get you flowers? if so, what kind?

ldoes tooru like to read books with you? or does he secretly collect all your favs and binge read them?

•what shows do you watch together?

•have you guys had any thoughts on marriage? (sorry if this makes you uncomfy i’ll note it for the future)

•do you guys match icons on like tumblr or insta?

•what couple do you resonate you and tooru with? like for example me and scara kinda resemble harley quinn and the joker (minus the toxicity)

•what video games do you guys play together? if you play genshin together, who does he main / what team does he use and do you do cute genshin couple things?

hi luma! no worries, i figured it was you😭 woohoo selfship questions, i’ll do my best to answer those<33

— tooru is the flower giving type!! i think he’s the kind of person to read into flower language and symbolism cuz like, it’s tooru.. he never does anything haphazardly and always wants to provide the best, so he definitely looks into their meanings before choosing accordingly depending on the occasion or mood<3 red roses are a common ( given their symbolism for love and passion ), forget me nots are also some he frequently sends ( often as a reassurance to me, along with himself ), daisies ( he remembers how i used to really like them as a kid, and brings them as a reminder of those times ) and a combo between lily of the valley and larkspur ( they’re the flowers of our birth months<3 )

— i think he would show interest in what i read and i would beg him on my hands and knees to read my favs, specifically the folk of air series, to scream with him!! bonus if he decided to annotate and swap copies with me so we could read each other’s comments<3 furthermore, he serenades me to sleep by reading on stressy nights :’) and just cuz his voice is so<3

— definitely star wars oriented shows.. the clone wars has consumed us wholly and we have not recovered from the siege of mandalore.. sitcoms FOR SURE, i love friends a completely normal amount, seinfeld too, modern family, big bang theory, king of queens, etc. anyway, other than that we’d probably watch a lottt of slice of life / romance anime since it’s super comforting and silly<333 although some shonen anime make certain exceptions ( owari no seraph my love ) OH AND CARTOONS BC OLD SPONGEBOB HUMOR >>>

— TOORU IS DEFINITELY A MARRIAGE KIND OF GUY and like same i want marriage too but later down the line cuz i wanna enjoy the youth and sillying around of dating.. but i think we would unironically refer to each other as husband n wife.. and act like a married couple.. proposing is gonna be a challenge because he wants to do it but i ALSO want to do it like babes let me get on my knee pls and propose to you like the king you are smh

— i don’t think tooru would be on tumblr, maybe he would be if he indulges in my nonsense.. so probably instagram!

— we are anakin and padmé for sure and take turns, although misaki and usui are definitely us too, as well as kuronuma and kazehaya ( THEY MAKE ME SO EMO AND NOT NORMAL )

— we play a lot of wii and ds games together pre timeskip, specifically super mario bros, mario kart, mario party, wii sports, just dance — all that jazz, and i would have begged him to indulge me in my tekken addiction despite the amount of times he would get his ass handed to him BAHAHAHAHA ( he’s petty bc i use asuka since she counters attacks ) now post timeskip, we would definitely play ssbu because it’s just sm fun ( a-and um um sephiroth…. ) — now i would get my ass handed here instead.. and of course we cannot forget the hit game GENSHIN IMPACT!!! bro mains either tartaglia, ayato or alhaitham because i am not normal about them and he makes it a goal to tease me using them.. think he probably uses vaporize a lot to stick to my synergy or spread; as for couple things, we definitely take each other to pretty locations we found or help one another with grinding / quests. if there are also co-op games, those too!! for the rest, we’d probably take turns on ffvii since it’s single player and i have a tendency to throw a controller at someone when things get too heated.. prepare yourself tooru!! especially if sephi is the final boss..

[akaakeis]

gnawing at my nails rn i miss my bf (i dont have one) how do u pick like,,, one person to selfship with bc⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

like there r so many options ushijima i dont even know who's my favourite character rn ushijima like guys☹️⁉️⁉️

BUT I cant wait for savyaku😼😼😼😼😼 SOCUTE

goshiki is my babey though he is sososososososososo cute and i would want him irl and i bet i could even pull him irl toooo

yk what this type of starting is called! a HOOK sentence cuz u got HOOKED and now ur reading this long ass ask. WAIT FUCJ mattsun guys hear me out here ANYWAYS. HRU SAV!!!!!!!!!!!! its 4am for yew rn right!!

anyways.. its 4pm havent had lunch yet am so fucking tired but soft rice.. soft white rice.... i want to sleep but rice....... call me basic but soft white rice is the best fucking thing in the entire world right after u. teacher gave my english composition an 80 i think ill end up on the news. i just stood up abruptly and the world went 🌀🌀🌀🌀 should i be worried..!!!!

THERE WAS AN OWL ON OUR ROOF THE OTHER DAY SO COOL i almost started writing akaashi hurt comfort (???) at school today but i didnt get time and now im Too Tired :(

im reading and the mountains echoed by khaled hosseini and erm. the plot is so questionable at times like wdym the guy was in love with his chauffeur wdym she tried to kill her sister and changed her mind last second so it was only paralysis but its ok bc she killed her fr next time. wdym this one girl dated her moms ex and then married her friend's ex like guys.. guys i have Questions..

IDK IF U READ JJK MANGA BUT U SHOULD READ JJK MANGA

i cant wait for ur birthday #weirdkidthings Im So Funny Guys Im So Funny

im going to sleep so hard tonight grrgrgrhrgrg i had ice cream on the way home from school YUM and then math kid era p2 i finished this one thinf before everyone else even started and the teacher asked if i did it qt home cuz wtf. ew now i remember her using her nail to create indentations in the paper and i feel nauseous my skin is crawling

WHATEVER eRmmrmrm im sitting on the stairs rn hashtag procrastination ahahahahah ive been writing this and zoninf out for the past 7 minutes yyyyyippeeee

im so tired guys let me sleeeep

my parenrs were supposed to find baby gender today but the little shit kept its legs shut and didnt let them see (just like me frl)

correction im lying on the stairs rn ..

honestly me x goshiki would be Bomb why is he so unpopular all his fics are mid or questionable so far,,,, anyways. konoha is so beautiful i would want him excpet i have like no grip on his character so #tweaks. i hate andrew tate so fkn much. i cant wait till i turn 16 idk i feel like life will be significantly cooler then. anyways bb i take my leave gotta go eat lunch

i hope youve eaten by the time ur reading this!!! stay hydrated and safe and dm me to be silly together whenever >:]]]]] i hope u have a WONDERFUL day sav!! ily <3

look at my man hes so gorgeous btw

alina... bf... :D alright then! umumumummm honestly there were many characters that i wanted to do a selfship with but i didnt want to be self shipping with the same character that someone im following consistently self ships with LMAO cause i feel like it gets weird for me at that point cause all the hcs in my head get mixed up? ANYWAY i just think of selfships with any character im hyperfixating on at that very moment... in fact my selfship very well may change!!!

anyway since im replying after you decided on yuulina... NOYA AGHHH U GUYS WILL BE SO CUTE TOGETHER!!! IM UR NO 1 SUPPORTER THIS IS YUULINA SUPPORT CENTRAL‼️‼️‼️

savyaku sounds so funny i need to thank of something that sounds better stop rn 💔 BUT I LOVE HIM SO SO SO SO SO MUCH IM SUPER EXCITED TO DO SOME SELFSHIP STUFF :))

u would so pull goshiki irl 🙂‍↕️

HELP thanks for the english lesson lina 😭 those terms always make me shudder because they were drilled into my head in my college comp class it was horrifying. and NO not mattsun i do NOT approve of that at this point in time!!!! AND IM OKAY!! tired as hell and i have 3 projects to work on <3 (i stacked my classes this year, im not proud.) IT IS NOW 3 PM AS I ANSWER THIS ASK SO SORRY IT TOOK ME LIKE 12 HOURS WOAH

honestly u were probably tired because you didn't eat but i digress... AND SOFT WHITE RICE HAS MY HEART IT MAY BE AN ASIAN THING?? and awh stawp😋 ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE ENGLISH TEACHER THAT YOU CORRECTED IN CLASS? THE ONE THAT CANT SPEAK AS WELL AS YOU?? insanity 😨 i may end up on the news as well. AND YOURE PROBABLY HUNGRY AND DEHYDRATED GO EAT AND DRINK WATER IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY WHAT??? PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!

WHAT AN OWL ON THE ROOF THATS SUPER COOL!! bro i love owls :( and ugh i get what u mean i feel like sometimes the time just slips away... but its okay! you'll have time at some later date <3 make sure you rest enough!!

guys what my jaw just dropped?? THOSE WERE THE MOST RANDOM PLOT POINTS YOU COULDVE LEFT ME WITH. NOW IM JUST CONFUSED? KINDA WANNA READ IT NOW (my readlist has 100+ books on it)...

AND IVE READ SOME OF IT BUT IM NOT UP TO DATE RN I HAVENT HAD MUCH TIME TO CATCH UP RECENTLY

im excited for your bday too!! im trying to math away the time differences in my head so like i would dm at 12 pm the day before your bday so i would catch u at midnight i THINK.

i hope u are having an AMAZING sleep rn alina!!! and u are so smart <3 barf ur teacher needs to stop doing that thats lowk unsanitary? in my book

HELP ME NOT THE JS LIKE ME FR 😭😭 hopefully u guys are able to figure out the gender soon!! im so excited for you guys <33

goshiki is under appreciated as a character honestly and i think its cause of his fuckass haircut 😭 NO OFFENSE TO YOU WHATSOEVER IM SORRY!! HES CUTE BUT THE HAIR IS NOT FOR ME. when i saw him shirabu AND tendou i was like "what the HELL is wrong with shiratorizawa they are all fucked" no they werent they had semi and ushijima BUT THAT WAS FIRST IMPRESSION ANYWAY also konoha UGRHSHSBNDMSJABD hes so!!! so!!! yeah!!! i love him sm... also how did we get on the topic of andrew tate hes such a weird guy i dont like him 💀 AND SO REAL im excited to be 16 <3

AND I HAVE!! make sure u eat something nutritious before school! and drink some water!! i hope your day is lovely <3 ily!!

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Hello dear,

I won't lie I'm here to bother you with questions , for which I'm sorry.

So , I'm new to self shipping and I feel like this.

Just confused and worried. But you self shipping post and kind words on your " about me" calmed me down. Like I have mentioned before your presence comforts me a lot.

So I'm curious about you and kenjaku ( I saw you and Suguru is normal/non sorcer au) so I'm interested did you knew Suguru before kenjaku take over? If yes , what was your relationship?

And can I have a random fact about you and sampo ( I literally adore this man )?

You and makima is interesting duo to think of, especially because the lack of moodboard. How would you describe your relationship ( Is it similar to the one with kenjaku ?)

As for my last question, feel free to ignore it. I'm a lover of vilians myself and the more I start thinking about my self shipping the more I get excited about the morraly grey ones ( if not borderline villains) but at the same time, I'm worried of being shamed? I don't know what word to use honestly. Any advices from your experience?

Thank you for replying to me dear. Have a lovely day or night!🩷

hiiiii tiramisu!!!!! >:3 would it be okay to call you misu …. i think it’s so cute . BUT PLEASEEEE YOU’RE THE SWEETEST IN THE WORLD 😭😭😭 for these questions and for saying such kind things …. i’m so happy this blog can be a comfort for you!!!!! truly!!!!!!

ahhhhh i’ll start with your last question since it’s the most important (and one i feel very strongly about) … i completely understand your worries but the lovely thing about tumblr is that the block button is always there to help <3 if someone shames you for loving a fictional character, no matter how absolutely awful they are, then they really just … aren’t worth your time lmao. the characters you latch onto say nothing about who you are as a person. so just block anyone who tries to give you trouble!! i’m sure you’ll find your way to fellow villainlovers :3 (<- speaking as a kenjaku / makima / mori stan lmao…) fiction is yours to do with as you please, and selfshipping in particular is all about you and your comfort. it doesn’t concern anyone else and they should mind their business!!!!!

that’s all i’d like to say ….. please know i support you wholeheartedly no matter how awful your blorbos are. (again i am a mori stan i am very much used to getting threats over my favs 🙏 obv it’s unpleasant but blocking and moving on gets easier over time!!)

anyway ;;; putting the selfships questions under the cut since this is already a little long. thank you sm for asking, you’re too sweet 🥺

for arikenny, i’m actually not a sorcerer in this au!!! and did not know suguru or any of the characters before meeting kenjaku :3 i picture it being more like . i am a soggy random guy that happens to run into kenny and then it all kinda spirals from there. i’d be enamored with them instantly ….. unfortunately LOL. so no sugu, that’d make me ….. too sad 😭

and sampri !!!!! wahhhh ….. well. i think it’s a very bickering dynamic :’3 he is just so silly and sleazy and i’m sick of him (i’m not). kind of like a partner in crime dynamic where he leaves me to clean up the mess and im exasperated but i still kind of like being needed by him ….. we also both have crazy commitment issues so there’s that <33

anddd then mari <3 I DO ACTUALLY HAVE A MOODBOARD FOR THIS but the shipname isnt super telling so maybe its easy to miss …. it’s . kindddd of arikenny like? in some ways? but also makima is a lot more toxic lmao, for how weird my relationship with kenjaku is it’s probably sweeter than you’d assume at first glance. but mari is full on toxicity. she doesn’t care about me, she’s just keeping up appearances; i don’t mind because i adore her. <- that’s basically it :’)) i love her forever even after she’s dead and gone. basically it’s just very twisted and i am weak for her in particular 

[teddybeartoji]

omg no wait bc you and higu would be so cute i actually wanna hear all about it. i think he would benefit from a little silly and you certainly could fulfill that role!!! im actually obsessed..... pls share any thoughts you have 🤲

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODD!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEHEHEE HII PERCE MY LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE SUCH AN ANGELLL AAAAHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR INDULGING ME ON THISSS HEHEHEHEHHE:33333

SOOO ME AND HIGUUUU😭😭😭 this is a bit silly bc it's not like a real Real selfship yet okay... i don't actually know him all that well so i don't feel like i can yk officially make it into one but you just wait........ it'll become real soon enough..............

OKOKOK SO WE ALL HAVE TO SAY A BIG THANK U TO MY FRIEND ARI @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat BC THEY KIND OF PUSHED ME INTO THAT😭😭😭 i think we were just talking about who of the new character i'd love and then they said that higu would definitely be one of the faves and well.. i am not disagreeing at all he seems so fucking funny and just an absolute sweetheart!!!!!!!!!!!!!! soooo my friend brought up the idea of me being like an intern at his law firm and............................ i folded immediately what can i say. (btw this got so long. uhm. prepare yourself?)

so imagine mickey the errand boy and higu the lawyer man:33 it all starts out super fucking slow btw (every single one of my ships is a slowburn what the fuck anyway). i am very excited to be there,, i think this sort of a job is very perfect for me aaand i think he'd find my enthusiasm very.. interesting lmao in a good way!!!! bc yk who the fuck is excited abt printing out papers and shit??!!! mee:3333

he always tells me that i can go home (cough that i can go home on time.. cough) but i refuse!!!!!!! how am i gonna leave him here all alone smhhh so i always help him finish everything he needs to get done (or at least everything i can help with yk?) aand then we go to this burger place that's just like around the corner to finally eat something and aaah idk it just feels very good with him. like very casual. the first like ten to twenty minutes are usually spent in silence just bc we're both tired and just wanna gulp down our food,, but when we're done with those.. we're talking abt the silliest stuff!!!!!!!!!! he tells me abt his cats. i know he has them ok. canon. in my head. he has two. their names are corkscrew and matilda. (????????????????)( don't ask) he tells me abt how they seems to like to tussle a lot and it makes him a bit nervous bc what if they don't get along but then they're cuddling a minute later and wheww it's all good. i love listening to him ramble btw. it's not like he does that all too often, but when he's tired he kind of spitballs a bit more and i think it's very endearing:333

and then he ofc apologizes for said ramble while tugging on his tie to loosen it up a little. he's so hot. anyway. and then he almost BEGSSS for me to talk to him too. about anything. it's very hard to feel insecure about talking too much with him bc he literally keeps telling me that he loves listening to me....................... perce what if i die

i'm making this other thing ari talked abt canon too bc oh my god their brain is huge. sooo one day. higu is late to work. and he's never late??????? had me thinking that he literally fucking dies or smth yk??? like he wouldn't answer his phone and it was just pouring outside omfg i was so fucking worried. pacing around the office, just calling him again and again and again. and then the door opens and there he is!!!!!!!!!!! COMPLETELY DRENCHEDDDDD like from head to toe, holding his coat weirdly of over his head and body idk he looked so silly (and cute). he apologized to some of the other workers before meeting my gaze and hurrying over and before i could even ask anything,, he opens his coat aND CAT!!!!!!!!!! HE HAD A FUCKING KITTEN???????? IN HIS HANDS?????????????????????????????????? HELLO???????????????????????????????? SIR????????????????????????

and then he literally just handed me the little critter asking whether i could look after it while he's working?????????????????? i was just so baffled bc wHAT. but i obviously took that task very seriously. i tried to clean up the kitty and made him like a make-shift bed from my own hoodie. and then after he got himself a cup of coffee (btw he spent almost no time on drying himself oh my god he's a bit of a loser isn't he...)(he has my heart<3) aaaaaand when he finally sat down behind his desk and looked through the glass wall...

and he just saw me holding the bundled up little kitty to my face while i just stare at it. HE WAS JUST SO CUTE OK I NEEDED TO JUST LOOK AT IT FOR SOME TIME I LOVE CATS OK!!!!!!!!!! that made him smile though. bc he loves cats too:333 btw we just send each other cat pics too. like very randomly. he's just a room away and he's sending them to me instead of just.. idk coming over to my table to show them to me in person??? he's a workaholic ok. ahgsahgshasga i love himmmm

OKOK ANYWAY THIS IS LIKE SO MUCH INFO I'M SORRY FOR THE WORDVOMIT LMAO but i really really do like him and this little thing i have going on with him... we're still in a weird little zone between coworkers and friends and ????????????? but we're both okay with that we're not pushing anything we just do whatever feels comfortable<333333333

BUT WAHHH THANK YOU AGAIN FOR INDULGING ME ON THIS PERCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SMOOCHING YOU SO VERY HARD RN HEHEHEHHEEE!!!!!!! I HOPE UR HAVING THE BEST DAY EVER MY LOVE!!!!!!!

[fagcrush]

im trying to be very nice here but im am NOT good with words. so im very sorry if this sounds mean in any way it is probably the autism or just me being bad at communication.

but.

i think it can be very hard to realize how much attention when you are feeling so low. i used to be in a place like that where i was constantly just wishing for anyone to reach out to me(it wasnt about selfshipping, but still) and i didnt realize that people WERE.

it can also be very hard when you compare yourself to other people who are more popular. honestly you probably get at least 20x the amount of interaction i receive on my blog, and sometimes i even envy you for it! i only have like one mutual i interact with regularly, and its rare when a post of mine gets even 2 or 3 notes. and it can be hard to see someone getting asks so frequently compared to me but still saying that they receieve nothing.

and i dont hold it against you in any way! i know its a silly feeling and i try my best to acknoledge but not act on those feelings of jealously.

but i think maybe you should take a step back and try to not compare yourself to others so frequently?

and i know i personally try to interact with you. i have sent multipule asks on anon, we are mutuals, ive sent you more than one drawing on your strawpage, and if i had more conifdence in myself or i knew more about your fos i would totally send you asks from them!!

but i think you should maybe consider your mental health is coloring how you see things? i know its not your fault. when i was in a much worse space it was so easy to not remember anything good and only focus on the bad. but persepctive can change a lot. i used to be anxious and sad about no one caring about my self ships, but once i realized that even having one mutual care was a huge thing i was so much happier. i think rather than trying to appeal to everyone in the community you could try shifting your focus to building a smaller net of close friends who all hype each other up? message someone! just tell them you want to be friends! encourage their ships! and if you feel like they dont care about you/your ships the same way you do about them, or that they arent putting in as much energy as you are then you should talk to them! people can show support in different ways and diffrent things more or less to different people! so while they may think they are making a huge effort you may not be feeling any of it.

and also maybe consider making a tag on your blog for archival purpses of every times someone sends you an ask supporting you or your ships! that way when you are feeling low and get trapped in the spiral of thinking no one cares about you, you can check the tag and have proof to remind yoursel that people DO care!

anyway. im sorry if any of this seemed like i was trying to tell you what to do. or that i think i know better than you about your own mental health/life/friendships. i was honestly just trying to give advice i thought might help, but if i overstepped a boundry im very sorry!

anyway. just remeber that if nothing else i do care about you. i read all your posts. i like your blog. maybe i should tell you more, but i think you are a cool person!

Im tired af bc I'm still kind waking up so I'll be answering this in chunks. Sorry if that makes it confusing lol

i just. Rn I've gotten a couple things yeah , but it kind of hurts to go to sleep in such a bad state, and wake up to no asks you know? Like. Idk. I was hoping I'd get something while I was asleep but ig it's too much effort or something. Idk. It just feels like when I fall asleep in the worst mood i could be in that someone would reach out.

I haven't been getting much engagement at all the past couple months even when I ask. I can't remember the last time I got an fo letter or anything similar in my inbox. My strawpage is pretty active sometimes, but otherwise it's so rare for someone to send me something. It's hard not to compare when I go through all that, and then check my dash and see someone w a super obscure fo get a letter w out even asking.

It's this in the moment thing that's really bugging me tbh. For 4 days now I've been reblogging a post asking for people to send me stuff bc I'm in a really awful place mentally and can't even figure out why so idk what to do to feel better other than beg for someone to care. I tried being comforting and doing stuff for myself and none of it worked.

I have friends and stuff that I send asks and messages to all the time. I try so hard to reach out to others when they're sad even if I'm not feeling great myself. Maybe I need to start asking off anon more/attaching my url when I do ask on anon but I really do engage w the community a lot and I wish it would pay off.

You're fine though and I appreciate it, it's not less about not getting anything ever (I know I do get stuff and I appreciate it!) and more "in this moment I just really want someone to reach out and give me some care bc holy fuck I haven't felt this depressed in a hot minute"

[alphasmoonlit-selfships]

🎫 here’s a gush pass :3 feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other selfshippers >:3c

(@rose-wine-selfships 🌹🍷✨)

Ahh! A gush pass??!! 😳🎫 @rose-wine-selfships thank you! Better late than never right? 🥺💖 ahh!

Am going to gush on the best two fictional loves of my life if you don’t mind? 🥺 I love Atsushi so much and I want to talk about my dear Jason too! 🥺🐺🐯 I hardly do and he deserves some nice spot light too ! For those that don’t know him to well! 🥺

Come and hear my rambling under the read more ≧ω≦

Mi Tigre! Mi amore! He is such a mood and such a vibe! I love his overall person, his design, his personality, his sweet and beautiful kindness towards people who have gone through similar situations as he had and his just can’t help but want to save them from such fates. He wants the best for all those he cares about and how he believed for a long while that if he can safe others than it would be enough proof for him to continue living. Even at the cost of his own life and I just (ಥ﹏ಥ) nooo my love please,,,

It’s kind of scary how much I resonated with that… not gonna lie, I��ve always had such a mentally too to an extent when I was younger, heck even a bit now but not as drastic as my younger self thought… (then again Digimon college Au definitely tells me otherwise… ;;w;; ahh anyway),,

Atsushi has definitely grown so much and is still learning to better himself! I believe that in this new environment of being with good people of the Agency, he will continue to develop and get better. Being surrounded by a found family that cares and loves his well being, will boost his confidence! And soon he will be truly an amazing mentor towards a future main 👀 watch the manga end the way it started with Atsushi saving someone who was in a similar situation 🥺 of course not the way Dazai did 👀 but it will be a full circle 🥺 like just envision an older!Atsushi in Dazai’s place of saying his name, “My name? Nakajima, Nakajima Atsushi!” 🌅 hdkahdkalfkaldhlasads not gonna lie I just want to see older Atsushi rocking his confidence and growth 💖🥰

Overall, I don’t think I’ve ever come to love such a main character before? The way I resonate with him makes me all warm and fussy and has allowed me to see,,, a lot about myself and reflect on it better. His path to healing isn’t linear, it’s been a constant up and down motion 🥺 I really don’t want to see him encounter more bad things ;;;~;;; but I know it’s to progress the story and for him to get better; but please Asagiri-sensei, don’t be so bad on him ;;0;;

I love mi Tigre so so much UwU he truly my source of comfort and love daydreaming of sweet and silly romantic things with him 💖 the ideal relationship and try to definitely lift myself up in anyway I can with him, especially during my depressive moments. Which happens a lot especially when it comes to comparing myself to others ;;w;; it’s a terrible thing and I swear I break my own heart so many times a day,,, but I know despite it all Atsushi loves me entirely because I am me, there is none other like me 🥺 all his kisses warm my soul ♥️(*´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥﹏°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ )人(´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

Now!! TO MY PRECIOUS GENTLE STORM, MY RAIN, MY DEAREST MATE 🥺‼️🐺🌧

Aghddkjahdkfkaljddj!!! The best boi, the best oc I love so dearly like! 🥺 Jason “Jaystorm” Grey! He is my own fictional OC that I created sometime in 8th grade I believe? About 2010! So almost 11 years I think!

He has dealt with a lot of my creative mind and just pure high school into college anguish ;;;w;;; my gentle storm hasn’t had the best life, in either Au or actual story he’s in. Legendary Wolf Warrior’s story, he and his later sister where born from an affair situation. While not much suspicion was raised with him, he later had to endure a lot of traumatic events in his life.

First, with his older brother leaving him behind to deal with his alpha father’s (older brother’s biological dad) anger.

Witnessing his actual dad (Jason and Lula’s dad) get murdered in cold blood, right in front of him, believing it was his fault for him trying to run away with his brother.

Become physically and mentally abused by his alpha, who was trying to shape him into something worse under all this abuse.

Witnessing said alpha, murder his mother for supposedly sending away his sister through a river. And because of the affair she had that birthed him and his sister. Who’s fate is unknown to him for a long, long time until they are much older.

And then the aftermath of standing up to alpha’s abuse and fighting back for all the years of torment he was put through. Gaining his powers of the Storm in the process. But Jason, bless him, never wanted to be the one to kill him, he just wanted to leave of his own accord, but this terrible wolf that raised and abused him wanted to fight and kill him for trying to leave.

Because of this, he is often plagued with nightmares and believes he sees him in the far distance for a long while after he travels on his own. The mental and emotional abuse staying with Jason for a long while. Even after when he arrives at the Forest of Dreams, being the last warrior to arrive of the seven that exist.

He has no control of his powers for a long time, sometimes drawing storms with the slightest anger. He had no idea how to fight without almost killing someone else in the process. Jason had so much guilt and fear of losing control of this higher power he possessed, even scared of losing the other warriors because of his lack of strength and skills at them. They, who have had their powers for far longer as younger pups.

But of course he has them too, despite his insecurities and fears, the others help him and show him how to better control such a power, especially at his age. They don’t turn him away as he worried so much, they train him and tell him to control his emotions that cause a major melt down of his powers.

Danielle especially (me in that sense UwU), who understands what it means to let one’s emotions get the best of them, helps him find his balance and most especially helps him talk about his past.

He definitely says it so nonchalantly, never realizing how bad his life was for a long time. Actually believing most alpha’s in wolf packs led with such a tyrannical stance. More than surprised by Dany’s father’s lead and his genuine kindness to others and other animals around the Forest of Dreams. A lot of it is due to the abuse of his own alpha and how his mind was filled with such negative things, especially about himself.

Jason does feel like an outsider most of the time, even more so than some of the other animals/humans who lived similar lives, but especially because of his powers. But he grows from when he first arrived in FoD, he learns to socialize more, how to hunt and give to the forest, how live a life of his own and not be ruled over by past influences. He looks back on his younger self a lot and reflects on how he wished to save that young version of himself from so much.

But he has in a sense, by living on his life and being everything his alpha never was and tried to instill in him. He has a new family, one that is genuine and true and would never leave him despite the terrible things that happened. 🥺🌧

Jason is my best mans, the best boi that deserves the world and much peace. Many think the Storm power for him is kind of odd considering his pretty pacifist nature and gentleness. I think it fits him perfectly anyway 💖🌧 he is pretty similar in Digimon Au, though most of his strength and growth is him and his experiences and also the voice encouragement by his Digimon, Raiwolfmon. Even so, he is still a dear and precious person, nothing like the terrible “father figure” that raised him. He is all his own and so much better.

Well I’ve talked for too long 👀🥰 I hope you enjoyed my gush ramble on the two loves of my life! 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖 I love my Atsushi and Jason so much and this gave me so much time to reflect on them, especially Jason 👀♥️ he is the best boi and love him so much in private a lot UwU but hopefully I can do more DanyJay things 💖🥺🌧🥰

Thanks again for the gush pass rose! 🥺 sorry for the long wait too UwU, bless you! 💖♥️🥺♥️🥺♥️💖 and excuse my rambling and maybe confusing spasm speak to explain things ;;w;; by all means I’m here to answer all the questions 👀😳

[luvsailor-archive]

♡ Self Ship Q&A! ♡

I was tagged by Eli aka @dumbglitch!

Sorry this took so long, I’m still trying to learn not to be such a perfectionist when it comes to writing lol

-

Introduce yourselves. Who are you? What do you like to do?

M: Hello! In case ya don’t know, I’m Pro Hero Electro MagNetta! But you can just call me Mags. I love being a tour guide and teaching kids about sea life! Seeing them smile and enjoy themselves is very dear to me. Ok, your turn Honey.

K: My name is Sakamata Kugo, also known as the pro hero Gang Orca. I once ranked in the top 10 Pro Heroes here in Japan. Because strength is a very important value of mine, I like to exercise plenty in my spare time.

How was your first meeting like?

M: Aaah I was so nervous, considering I was such a huge fan and all! We met while I was on the job at the aquarium I work for. I had to greet him and give him the usual tour. We shook hands and I may or may not have shocked him a little by accident. It’s kinda difficult to control my quirk when I’m anxious.

K: Is that what happened? I thought my hand felt a bit tingly, though it wasn’t enough to hurt me.

M: Still, that was so embarrassing!

K: Regardless, I certainly enjoyed my time being your guest. I don’t recall the last time I’ve had such an enthusiastic experience during my visits.

M: Aww, I’m so happy to hear that! I try my best.

 How did you get together? Who confessed first?

K: After seeing them a few times, I decided to take them out for dinner at a nice sushi restaurant in the city. Felt it would be a fitting first date.

M: He even rented a limo just for us. Never in my life has anyone been so generous towards me! During the ride home, that’s when I told him I wanted us to see each other more often. Though I’m not sure if that counts as a confession, haha.

 What are your thoughts on PDA?

M: Ooh as much as I love it, we try to keep it minimal. We mostly hold hands while we’re out together.

K: I try keeping it minimal at least. Not too fond of drawing unwanted attention to ourselves. Mags, however, has the tendency to be very needy.

M: I just can’t help myself, I love you! Besides, you’re always so busy.

How do you show your affection towards each other/what are your love languages?

M: Let’s just say he’s very generous when it comes to gifts. Occasionally I gotta talk a bit of sense into him over the prices. 

K: *Clears throat*

M: Anyways, we try to spend quality time together whenever we can. Admittedly I'm a very touchy type. I like showing my love through lots of hugs and kisses!

K: As for me? Well, I wouldn’t necessarily consider myself an affectionate person.

M: Oh I beg to differ when we’re alone~

K: Quiet you.

 Who’s more introverted and who’s more extroverted?

M: I’m definitely the introvert. Despite enjoying my job, socializing can often be draining. It’s always refreshing to come back home and spend some me-time!

K: I believe I find myself more towards the middle. Part of it comes from being mostly independent and having experience as a pro hero for so long. Though as Netta said, it’s always nice to get some time to ourselves at the end of the day.

Who’s the big spoon and who’s the little spoon?

M: Heh, take a guess~ Honestly though, I prefer being the little spoon because it makes me feel safe and cozy at night.

What do you like doing together the most?

K: We drive to the beach rather frequently.

M: Yep it’s usually the first place we think of going to! Sometimes even spending the whole day swimming.

K: Of course. Afterall, we both have a great fondness for the ocean.

M: *Sigh* We’re just a couple of silly fish aren’t we? But yea, I feel it’s the best thing to do together!

Tell us a fun fact about the other!

M: Kugo’s VERY strong. He can do 300 push ups without breaking a sweat!

K: Netta is bioluminescent. The brilliant blue color that illuminates their skin is quite a sight to see.

M: Aww you’re making me blush a little.

K: And nothing makes them burn brighter than being reminded of their little national news incident.

M: Please don’t bring THAT up again!

K: See? Just like that.

Tag other selfshippers and their f/os.

@nougatships and Tomura

@chihuahua-arts and Leon

@virus-selfship and Rappa

Andddd anyone else who wants to do it can say I tagged ya~ Keep in mind that I never want to pressure anyone into doing something they don’t want to. These are just some people who I’d love to see answers from lol. No obligations, take your time, and have fun!

[cherrylight]

hi im rambling. also hello ashley nation i guess ...

(this is a long post)

i have no idea what to post on here anymore tbch...... im also a nervous wreck talking about any of my f/os without them being the two notorious ones i used to talk about a lot ...... wahh ..... im just nervous being myself on here ..... whys that so DIFFICULT i think its this blog in particular idk ... selfshipping i love you but why do you make me feel really awful about my f/os that i genuinely would give the world to ..... cant i gush about them happily

i wanna be silly and goofy but then I DONT AND IT MAKES ME REALLY UPSET cause im really silly and goofy and i talk a lot then i get anxious and i flop and die its a recurring cycle .......... i should probably use that new blog i made so its easier to post silly things... and just be me but it also has like f/o(s) that i dont really post on here at all out of immense fear so maybe i shouldnt share it to the world.....

idk guys. lately ive just been very terrified and i guess extremely nervous & anxious posting on this blog in particular ..... im really grateful for the people who stuck around and send me asks and just are genuinely really sweet! im sorry for not being able to answer them or anything because i fear i talk too much ALL THE TIME...... like now does that even MAKE SENSE ?! probably not ....

whats kind of saddening is the fact i miss posting about my selfship(s) on here and having others be so supportive of it .... sending silly asks that make me get super happy >_< its like the best thing ever in the entire world wahhh miss it ..... maybe in due time when im not scared .....

tbh my main kind of helps with me on gushing about certain f/os because like no one would say anything..... im just gushing about silly guys and its really fun.......... but then i tear up because he makes me so emotional and UGDFHJGDFHFDH ......anyway. i gush privately and it should just be something im doing for me and that is something i KNOW and do on my own and its very fun and lovely

its just .... ive always been really terrified admitting things... like i have so many thoughts but i dont say them at all.... im also having a lot of trouble articulating my thoughts rn sorry for the jumble mess but its just a lot i guess

i used to be able to say WHATEVER i want and now i just CANT and its actually really upsetting. i just have a genuine weird way on expressing and saying things and i dont want to make people uncomfortable ...

i sometimes think its this blog that makes me so anxious. like more so than usual. but then i think its just Me that makes Me anxious? idk. hard to tell. i just dunno if its the blog or if its me thats making me scared and upset ....

arghh i dont know. this post is already so long >_< idk how to even CONCLUDE THIS ITS SO UPSETTING

i guess the best way is: im anxious all the time on this blog in particular, im way comfortable on my main blog more than this one; maybe the other blog if im brave enough to tag it at some point.... im scared to be fully myself on here so i just stay heavily inactive on here.... but i do love the selfship community...... i dont know if i want to be a part of it ... i just want to reblog cute posts of it and gush about my f/os that make me so happy ....

i want to get out of my comfort zone again. but im scared. so ill die. <- see thats what im talking about i say a lot of out of pocket stuff like that

[resident-cake-anon]

hiya luna !! im sorry youre havin a bad day<|3 i hope it gets better :(

wanted to pop by and ask if you have any particular song you associate with claude? i always find music to be such a fun and underappreciated 'element' of selfships if that makes any sense. it can really help express the mood/story/etc i think, plus its just fun to have songs that remind you of your f/os (or ones that will remind you f/o of you!)

i only ask because in my mind THE most iconic thing you've ever drawn was the sleeping beauty frame redraws, they really stuck with me since i was such a disney kid, and i'm unsure if you're familiar with the musical artist pogo, but he makes a lot of remixes of disney movies; they bring a nice little nostalgic comfort to me, and in some weird way i've made the connection between that feeling, your redraws, and then by extension your ships all just because of a silly little disney drawing, so seeing your art and ships are always such a nice feeling<3

anyways! i hope your day gets better soon !! ily❤️‍🩹

hi hi dex! ty for checking on me i’ve started to feel much better <3

i totally agree on the music thing! i love love love associating songs i hear w claude & goldie petals and i’ve been curating a playlist for them which i might share eventually if there’s interest :)

personally i think claude would listen to a lot of bruno mars and michael jackson they’re definitely his vibe but the one song i most associate w him rn is remember the time !

also knowing that my ship & art elicits such a nice feeling like that makes me !!! so happy ty i was such a disney kid too & have an extreme bias towards the silver age in particular <33 sleeping beauty and alice in wonderland are always on repeat in my brain

i really love those redraws that i did and wouldn’t mind revisiting it again, maybe for alice in wonderland this time since my wonderland au! golden petals is really neglected they have never escaped my files,, one day they will make it out of there i promise

ty again for checking on me! ly2 my beloved dex <33