#anyway i said i was craving cold weather and a bonfire earlier and he said he'd been thinking about having one but it's been too hot out

[bladeofthestars]

.

[gb-fics]

Camping

Fanfiction:

Kiryuuin Shou x Kyan Yutaka (Golden Bomber)

Note: Happy birthday, Kirisho! This is not really a romantic fanfic, but rather one about friendship ^-^ It’s set during Shou’s on-going 24-hour livestream camping on his birthday - more precisely while he is in his tent to sleep, so I thought I’d post it before he gets up :D I know it’s not accurate (larger tent for example, because his is TINY XD), but I did my best to adjust it to the real setting (^-^)

Frustrated Shou put aside the leftovers of his meal and forced himself to flash a quick smile at the camera. Of course, there were plenty of leftovers. Shou had cooked too much for a single person. He had felt like he ought to treat himself on his birthday, but it hadn’t changed the fact that one person alone could only eat so much. There was something sad about that. Shou wished he hadn’t opened the second bottle of alcohol. It turned him sulky.

He closed his MacBook and waved at the cameras.

“Good night, everyone”, he said. “Let’s meet again tomorrow morning. Bye-bye. Good night.”

He wondered, if the fans were able to tell he was feeling down. He tried to cover it up with another smile.

Bustling to clean up outside of the pavilion had forced him to run through the rain. The downpour of the afternoon had turned into a slight drizzle, hardly audible on the roof, but still enough to make his black jeans cling to his legs damp and uncomfortable. Somehow, he hadn’t expected it would get this cold at night. Shou wished he could ignite the bonfire again to warm himself.

He put up the sign that told everyone to tune in on the livestream at 8am again. He felt bad for making the fans wait so long, but he needed the rest. And the fans were probably tired as well. He had kept them up long enough already, without having anything interesting to offer in the first place. Just a lonely, old man drinking by himself. Not very entertaining. Shou hoped the fans hadn’t been bored or disappointed while watching him. Maybe they had expected more action today. Hopefully they had had a good laugh at Shou setting up the tent by himself at least. It had been quite a hassle.

It was a big tent, large enough for a group of five and not easy to set up by yourself. Originally, he had hoped he wouldn’t be alone tonight. He had thought it would be fun for the band and the fans, if they all went camping together.

But his suggestion had been thrown out by the others immediately. Too bothersome, too rainy, it was Shou’s birthday anyway, they fans wanted the focus to be on him.

Shou had not dared to point out that mostly because it was his birthday, he didn’t want to be alone.

The fans were watching him of course and he was grateful for that. He always planned those events on his birthday to feel less lonely, knowing that so many people were watching him. But it wasn’t quite the same. He craved company right now. He craved being special to someone, not just as an idol, but as a person. He would have loved to know that the others cared enough to put up with the camping for him.

But they were co-workers first of all and Shou shouldn’t forget about that. Just because Yutaka, Jun and Kenji were the most important people in his life, didn’t mean it was the same for them. It was Shou, who lived for the work most of all and he couldn’t blame the others for having a life of their own. They had people in their life, whom they loved, while all that Shou had, was the music and his bandmates. It wasn’t their fault he felt lonely and not their duty to fix it, either.

The rain was getting stronger now. Shou felt several drops hitting the top of his head as he walked over to the tent. But it would be more comfortable inside for sure.

The camera was still running, the light still illuminating the empty camping chair and the message to the viewers. With the light turned on outside, it would be bright inside the tent as well. Shou realized he had forgotten his sleep mask.

Unzipping the front of the tent, Shou hesitated for a moment. The night was cold and rainy. He wasn’t sure he had brought enough blankets, either. Maybe he should just drive home. They had agreed on this earlier, in case the weather turned so bad, it became impossible to spend the night outside.

But it would be such a disappointment for the fans. He had promised them he would go camping. Anyone could sleep at home. It would be boring. He felt like he would betray them, if he did.

And maybe, there was a little spite mixed in with his motives as well. If Yutaka and Jun and Kenji were here tonight, and they had agreed to give up together, it would have been fine. He would have to think of his bandmates first. But they had abandoned Shou tonight – on his birthday. A part of himself wanted to suffer, just so he was allowed to be mad at them.

He bent over and crawled into the tent. As soon as he entered, he noticed the drip. The last time they had used this tent, the holes had been there already, but somehow it had become worse over the past few months just lying around.

Shou felt for his bedroll. The outside was wet.

Quietly he cursed under his breath.

He had tried to put additional cloth onto the tent from the outside, but it had kept sliding off. Shou had forgotten to bring anything to make it stay on.

He had thought of calling the staff to get something from the city, but it would have taken quite a while and the rain had already started to lessen. It hadn’t really seemed like that much of an issue. All the holes were pretty small by themselves. It was enough to turn the tent moist and uncomfortably cold, though.

Shou changed into his pyjamas. At least the pants were dry.

He had to take off his jacket and realized it was even colder than he had assumed. He thought of wearing the jacket over his pyjama while he slept. But the jacket was wet and he would have to crawl into his bedroll with it, turning everything else wet as well.

Maybe it would be the right decision to give up and head back to the city. But Shou had never been good at giving up. He was too proud. He had been too proud to beg the others to join him, too. Maybe, if he had asked more directly, they would have changed their mind. But that awful, stubborn part of Shou had decided it would be better to feel wronged than to show vulnerability.

He made sure the tent was properly zipped, then he crawled into the bedroll. The inside had luckily stayed dry, but water kept dripping in right next to Shou’s head. He hoped the floor wouldn’t be soaking by tomorrow morning. He was running the risk of catching a cold. His hair was slightly wet, too. He shouldn’t act this unreasonable at his age. He should take care of himself. A cold was always a threat for his voice, too. At the age of 36 years, he really ought to know well enough to not let his pride get the better of him. But then, he had always thought at the age of 36 years, he’d have settled down already. He had thought on his birthday he would be with someone, who loved him. He hadn’t thought he would spend his birthday all alone in a tent. The fans were watching him, sure, but the people he personally felt close to weren’t.

Even his bandmates had made a pretty big point out of not watching him tonight. 24 hours would be too long, they had said. They knew what he was like, they didn’t need a livestream to watch him, when they saw so much of him all the time. And somehow, they had a point. But Shou still wished they cared enough to watch him.

He closed his eyes. He felt too cold to fall asleep, but he had set the alarm for tomorrow quite early. He didn’t want to be caught sleeping in when so many people were watching him.

So many people, who weren’t even close to him. He knew that he shouldn’t be bothered by it, but if the fans could watch him, why not the people he considered his friends?

Especially Yutaka had been quite aggressive about not wanting to watch him. Shou told himself, that he wasn’t hurt about that. If Yutaka didn’t want to spend his time watching Shou camping, Shou couldn’t blame him. He had thought things were developing differently between them, but obviously, he had been mistaken. Not even wanting to watch his livestream on Shou’s birthday – least of all spending it together – clearly showed that their meetings lately meant nothing to Yutaka. They had just hung out, because they had nothing better to do – no concerts, no live appearances – and they had needed the company. It hadn’t been dates. And the fact that Shou had stayed over at Yutaka’s place several times and that his couch was so uncomfortable, that they had ended up sharing the bed, meant nothing either. They were just friends and not even very good ones as it seemed.

Shou tossed to the side. A drop of water landed on his cheek. He gritted his teeth. Judged by the clattering on the roof, the rain was increasing. Shou hoped it wouldn’t turn into a serious downpour.

He should just go home. Whom was he trying to prove something to, anyway? The fans? Himself? Yutaka, who wasn’t even here tonight?

A sudden noise from outside stirred Shou.

He heard a car approaching at rapid speed, brakes screeching, and then a door slamming shut. It sounded as if the driver was leading a personal vendetta against their car.

Shou shot up into a sitting position.

Who was that? Had something happened? Was there an emergency? Only the staff was supposed to know where to find Shou. Was he in trouble? Was everyone alright? The only reason someone might interrupt his birthday event, was indeed a case of emergency.

Shou heard footsteps approaching the tent rapidly now. A dark silhouette was showing against the light from outside.

Maybe a crazy fan had found out about his location somehow? Was Shou in danger? Would someone come in? Was someone going to attack him? Or make the situation very uncomfortable?

The entrance of the tent was zipped open with a violent jerk and Shou flinched back. He felt for the flashlight he kept by his side. He switched it on and pointed the light beam right at the entrance – the very same moment someone stuck in their head.

“Oi, what the fuck?! Are you trying to blind me?!”, Yutaka shouted and raised his hand to shield his eyes against the light.

Shou lowered the flashlight immediately.

“Sorry”, he mumbled sheepishly, too surprised to not feel guilty. For a moment, he forgot it was Yutaka, who had ambushed him.

Then Yutaka slipped into the tent and shook his head, getting the wet hair out of his eyes, like a dog trying to dry itself. He had obviously run through the rain.

He looked around the tent and flicked his tongue as if he wasn’t pleased with what he saw.

Shou stared at him. He was wearing nothing but over-sized shirt and sweatpants. He looked like he had forgotten to get dressed before jumping into the car.

“What are you doing here?”, Shou finally managed to get out.

“Oh, please”, Yutaka said and held something up.

Only now did Shou realize that Yutaka was carrying a huge roll of duct tape with him.

“I know this tent is a leaky motherfucker”, he declared.

Without much ado he took the flashlight from Shou’s hand, who was still too shocked to hold on to it. Yutaka pointed the light beam at the roof overhead. Then he ripped off pieces of duct tape with his teeth and plastered them across the holes. It looked awful and provisional, but Shou had to admit, that it was undeniably effective.

“Where did you get the duct tape from?”, Shou asked, just watching Yutaka for a moment. He was so caught up in his work, he was hardly paying attention to Shou.

“Home”, he said and tore another piece of duct tape off with his teeth. It made him look wild, aggressive and oddly sexy. “I started driving when the rain got heavier in Tokyo. I couldn’t believe it, when I saw you took this tent. It leaked the last time we used it already. You should have been prepared.”

“So, you were watching the stream”, Shou concluded hesitantly.

Yutaka lowered his arms, but didn’t turn to look at Shou. Instead he inspected his work, making sure he hadn’t missed any leaking spots.

“I was tuning in shortly”, Yutaka said after a long pause. He spoke kind of huffily.

“Thank you”, Shou admitted softly.

Now Yutaka did turn to look at him. His dark eyes were surprisingly tender.

“Well, someone has to take care of you. And you are doing an awful job at it yourself. You shouldn’t be sleeping out here in this weather. You’ll catch a cold.”

Shou pulled up his shoulders defensively.

“So, you want me to go home? Then why fix the tent?”

Yutaka shrugged and grinned. The light of the flashlight was casting weird shadows on his face. It made the bags under his eyes look very dark.

“I want you to go home”, he confirmed. “But I know you are way too stubborn to listen to me. Not wanting to disappoint the fans and all that. As if they give a fuck where you sleep, seriously. They just want to watch you.”

Shou opened his mouth to protest, but Yutaka just held up a hand to stop him.

“Yes, yes, I know”, he said. “And that’s why I fixed the tent. I don’t even want to try arguing with you. Now, you got a dry piece of clothing in here?”

Shou furrowed his brow, but turned to look through his clothes.

Yutaka was speaking more firmly than was usual for him. Somehow, Shou found that weirdly attractive. Yutaka seemed to have come here with a purpose. Maybe Shou was just happy, that he had showed up at all. Maybe the sleepovers recently had meant something to Yutaka as well.

Shou grabbed the shirt he had worn earlier today and held it out to Yutaka.

Yutaka took it and then leaned over without further explanation. Shou’s first impulse was to pull back, but Yutaka just put the shirt over Shou’s head and started to towel off his hair without warning.

“Look at you”, Yutaka scolded him gently. “Going to sleep with wet hair like that. You want to lose your voice, so we’ll all be left without a job?”

Shou snorted, but let Yutaka dry off his hair, although he wasn’t doing so very gently. The rough touch felt nice anyway. Shou felt cared for. He hadn’t expected anyone to show up here tonight.

Once he was done, Yutaka tended to his own hair, using the shirt to towel it off as well. Then he looked around the tent once more.

“Looks like I fixed it, didn’t I?”, he asked and his voice sounded strangely proud and insecure at the same time, as if he wasn’t sure if Shou would really be impressed by his accomplishment.

Shou looked around as well. No rain seemed to seep in anymore. The tent was dry now and almost cosy, although it could have been a lot warmer.

“You are going to stay?”, Shou assured, suddenly scared, that Yutaka might just leave now.

“Sure”, Yutaka said. “I didn’t come out here all the way to let you out of sight again. I need to make sure you survive this night and don’t die of pneumonia or something.”

Shou looked around the tent once more, although he knew that Yutaka had brought only the duct tape. He wasn’t even dressed properly.

“You didn’t bring a bedroll”, he observed.

Yutaka shrugged again.

“We can share”, he pointed out. “You don’t mind sleeping close, do you? We’ve been sharing the bed recently and I thought …”

“There are cameras outside”, Shou cut him short and nodded to the entrance of the tent. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

Yutaka smirked.

“They can’t look inside, can they?”, he said. “Come on, it will keep you warm.”

He pointed towards the bedroll.

Shou bit his lower lip and hesitated for a moment. But then he was so happy that Yutaka had showed up and he loved sleeping close to him. And it was cold and no one would ever find out and what did it even matter and he really loved sleeping close to him.

With awkward motions Shou crawled back into the bedroll, leaving the zipper open, so Yutaka could slip in next to him. Their bodies were pressed together closely all of a sudden and Yutaka felt incredibly warm.

He tried to pull the zipper back up, but it got suck halfway. The bedroll was too small for both of them. But Shou didn’t think it felt too bad anyway.

He buried his face against Yutaka’s neck, his arm around Yutaka’s waist. They had fallen asleep like that often lately. Shou felt safe with his limps wrapped around Yutaka like that. There was nothing sexual about it – at least there wasn’t tonight. Shou had felt so cold and lonely before and Yutaka was warm and the sound of the rain played on the roof of the tent. It just felt cosy and intimate. Maybe there would be more in the future, but tonight, this shared bedroll was all that Shou had needed.

Ironically, Shou had always thought he would feel safer falling asleep in someone’s arms; that he would like to be held. But when he was with Yutaka, he just wanted to hold on to him desperately. Knowing that Yutaka wouldn’t leave was all that Shou needed to feel safe.

Yutaka switched off the flashlight. It remained bright, though. Shou missed his sleep mask again.

He could feel Yutaka’s chest heaving with each breath. His body was weirdly tense, as if he was trying to suppress a shiver.

“You are cold”, Shou observed.

His shoulders were growing cold, too. He wished they had at least one additional blanket.

“It’s fine”, Yutaka said.

Shou smirked, because Yutaka had called him stubborn before. Yutaka was quite stubborn himself.

“You should have brought blankets”, he teased him. “Bringing only duct tape. You should have known that was a bad idea.”

“And you didn’t bring blankets and even forgot the duct tape”, Yutaka reminded him. “I think I’m winning here.”

Shou chuckled and pressed his eyes shut again.

He was cold, yes, but with Yutaka this close to him, he already felt a lot better.

The fact that the others had not even wanted to watch his livestream had made him feel unloved. He wanted his bandmates to care about him as much as Shou cared for them. But at least Yutaka seemed to care.

Somehow, Shou was glad that it was just the two of them right now. They wouldn’t cuddle this openly with Jun and Kenji around.

He also felt a tiny little bit sad, though.

Yutaka was the only one who had shown up for him, because of their involvement with each other lately. He was here, because he had romantic interest in Shou. And that was great. Shou wanted Yutaka to have romantic interest in him. But that also meant, that if he blew this and if it didn’t work out between them, he’d be alone again.

On a weird level, Shou wished Yutaka would be here as his friend and not as his date. 36 years and he wanted to know that someone cared for him unconditionally. It seemed about time.

Next to him Yutaka made a funny little noise.

“You want to go back to the city?”, Shou asked.

Yutaka grunted.

“I won’t be the one to make you give up”, he said. “I couldn’t forgive myself that.”

Shou moved his thumb, gently stroking Yutaka’s chest where his hand was resting.

“If it gets too bad, we could try to call the staff to bring out more blankets.”

“It will be fine”, Yutaka soothed him. “Let’s just try to fall asleep.”

For a moment, they lay in silence. In the distance Shou could hear a faint noise; almost like a car engine. He wasn’t sure, though, until he heard a car pull up outside. It seemed to park in the area free of trees behind Shou’s shooting place, right where Yutaka’s car was already parking.

“Are you expecting any more men to tenderly hold you through the night?”, Yutaka asked mockingly.

Shou boxed against his ribcage lightly, which wasn’t easy, because in the bedroll together, they hardly had space to move.

A door fell shut. Shou held his breath, waiting for what would happen next. Maybe it was someone from the staff this time?

“Let me out”, he asked hoarsely, suddenly worried, that someone might open the tent and find him and Yutaka curled up together.

Surprisingly, Yutaka did not argue, although he usually loved to argue with Shou. He unzipped the bedroll and rolled over, so Shou could sit up and crawl towards the entrance on his knees.

He unzipped the tent carefully, squinting his eyes as he peeked outside. He could vaguely make out a person opening the trunk of their car. As they straightened up again and walked towards the tent, they were carrying so many blankets in their arms, that it was impossible to even see their face. All that Shou could spot above the blankets was a shock of washed-out purple hair.

“What’s going on out there?”, Yutaka asked from behind.

Shou smiled widely and opened the door of the tent more widely.

“We’ve just got ourselves some blankets”, he announced, although Yutaka could obviously see that. They were handed inside first and Shou passed them on to Yutaka, who immediately started to unfold them.

Only then did Jun pop in his head and crawled into the tent awkwardly, nearly tripping over while taking off his shoes.

“Jun, what are you doing here?!”, Yutaka called out. “Can you even survive a night without your silk towels and vegan soaps, or will that make you cry?”

Jun snorted and rolled his eyes visibly. He was dressed way warmer than Yutaka. He had even thought of putting on a proper sweater.

“Well, what does it look like?”, Jun said dryly and grabbed one of the thinner blankets, wrapping it around Shou’s shoulders without paying attention to his protest. “I saw on the stream, that this idiot here only brought a bedroll and no blankets. I knew he was going to freeze.”

Jun shook his head and made himself comfortable next to them. All of them were sitting cross-legged now, wrapped up in blankets. The rain outside had stopped for a while, but it still felt cosier inside.

“So, you were watching, too”, Shou said and couldn’t hide his smile.

“Sure”, Jun said and huffed quietly. “We know what happens when we let you out of sight.”

He turned to Yutaka.

“And what are you doing here?”

Yutaka shot him a dark glance.

“Don’t act so surprised. You stole my idea, when you saw me on the stream.”

“When did you get here?”, Jun asked.

Yutaka shrugged.

“Fifteen minutes ago? Half an hour? I don’t know.”

“Well”, Jun said. “The drive up here takes about an hour, genius. How was I supposed to know? I left home, before you got here.”

Yutaka pointed to the roof of the tent.

“I fixed the holes. You know the tent was leaking.”

Jun looked up and inspected the duct tape construction critically. Then he looked at Shou sternly.

“You knew the tent was leaking. And you knew it would be cold. You are hopeless. You’d be lost without us.”

Shou tried to feel offended, but still he couldn’t stop smiling. Jun had no idea how true that was. Shou would be lost without his bandmates. Without them, he’d never have succeeded at anything. They were the reason he was able to live off the music and the shows that he loved. Everything, he had reached in the 36 years of his life so far, he had reached thanks to them.

“Too bad Kenji isn’t here”, he said quietly to change the topic.

“We could text him”, Jun suggested.

Shou shook his head.

“I’m sure he is asleep already. It’s late.”

Yutaka cleared his throat and rubbed his palms together as if he was trying to warm up his hands.

“Still cold?”, Shou asked and wrapped the blanket Jun had given him around himself more tightly.

It was nice with which naturalness they had both shown up here to take care of him. Yutaka fixing the tent while scolding him. Jun wrapping him in a blanket while scolding him. And neither of them trying to make him go home. Neither of them was trying to make him give up. They just went along with his stupid ideas and did their best to support him. It had always been like this. It was how their band worked. Shou wished he could tell Yutaka and Jun, how much he loved them.

“I’m fine”, Yutaka said. “I could just use some …”

He was interrupted by the noise of another car pulling up outside.

“Well, fuck me, I don’t believe this”, Shou said and stared at the entrance of the tent incredulously.

Jun started laughing.

“Well, I’m curious, what he brought”, Yutaka said.

Shou shook his head and eyed Jun and Yutaka suspiciously.

“This was planned, right?”, he assured. “You planned this.”

“If we did, we’d share a car, idiot”, Yutaka said. “Think about it.”

Shou turned back to look at the entrance of the tent.

For a while, everything stayed silent, then someone rattled on the tent from the outside.

“Shou, Shou, you in there?”, Kenji’s voice called out.

“Where else am I supposed to be?”, Shou called back and shook his head in amusement.

Jun crawled over and opened the tent.

“Eeh?!”, Kenji called out when he saw him. “Jun? What are you doing here?”

He bent down and crawled inside, starting to cackle as soon as he spotted Yutaka as well.

“Oh, I’m last, really? And there I thought showing up here would be a great surprise!”

“You should have driven faster”, Yutaka said and pointed to the large backpack Kenji swung from his shoulders. “Now, what did you bring? I fixed the tent, Jun provided blankets. A snack would be nice now.”

Shou laughed and nudged Yutaka’s shoulder.

“It’s night, how can you be hungry?”

Kenji opened his backpack and got out a convoluted bedroll. Then he presented two Thermos bottles and a set of plastic cups.

“I brought hot tea”, he said and unscrewed the first bottle. “It’s important to stay warm and hydrated to not catch a cold. I was sure you wouldn’t think of that.”

He poured a first cup and handed it to Shou.

Shou closed his hands around it firmly. The warmth of the tea was seeping through the plastic and heated up his palms. He felt very warm on the inside, too.

He looked at Yutaka and at Jun and at Kenji, who were all filling tea cups for themselves now. And he knew that he hadn’t wasted his years, focusing on the band activities. Sometimes, he wondered if over all that work, he had missed the right timing to find someone to love him and someone to found a family with.

But he hadn’t missed his chance for finding love by giving everything to the band. His family was right here with him.

“Thanks for coming out all the way here, guys”, he said and raised his tea cup.

“Of course”, Kenji said and smiled. Even in the shitty beam of the flashlight, he looked handsome and his eyes were kind and his smile genuine.

“We wouldn’t let you celebrate on your own, would we?”, Yutaka added and grinned at him with his charming, aggressive smile, that made Shou’s heart pick up pace. He looked forward to their next sleepover already.

Jun raised his tea cup as well, the colour of his hair nearly washed out and faded completely. He looked affectionate.

“Happy birthday, Shou”, he said and they clinked their cups together.

And sitting in a dry tent, wrapped up in blankets and drinking hot tea with his bandmates, Shou felt like it might be his happiest birthday yet.