#anyway i love this place i like the snowball fight mechanic >:^)

[probably-haven]

Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

-

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should. 

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can.  Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it. 

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself  and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game 

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows. 

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over- 

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings.  I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is. 

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other-  Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action. 

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways. 

 -Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though. 

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips. 

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself. 

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt.  - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing. 

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth.  - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced. 

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports 

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that. 

-

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead. 

[caguaydreams]

A thorough analysis on why Vah Medoh’s dungeon theme makes me want to cry

Yep, that’s an accurate title. Hi there! do you have a moment to hear about Breath of The Wild soundtrack? posting for yet a third time in hopes that tumblr won't hide it. I'm so tired

What started as a quick and harmless post, pretending to simply point out a couple of things, rolled downhill, out of my grasp and turned into a massive snowball of a short essay. How and why did this happen? Well, I assume a lot of people know about this song, and know what I’m talking about when I say that it makes me tear up and sob uncontrollably with every change in key as the seconds tick by and I spiral down into a dwell of misery from where I struggle to find the exit and to later recover.

……No?…..At the VERY LEAST it makes you a little uncomfortable. And I state this with much certainty, because after reading hundreds of comments everywhere online where this song is present, I picked up on a vast majority of people who expressed to feel the same way I did when it came down to our current music subject. See, statistics don’t lie… normally. So, naturally, my intrigue got the best of me. I wanted to find out exactly why this soundtrack was mercilessly stirring up everyone’s emotions, so I caved in and we ended up with this.

Buckle in, fellas.

Out of all Divine Beasts’ dungeon themes, Vah Medoh’s is the one that I can’t sit through. Not without growing antsy and wanting to turn it off as soon as possible. I find it genuinely difficult to listen to, and it’s not only because Revali is my favorite character and the song is just, plainly put, depressing, mind you.

We’ll start from 0 terminals activated.

It opens up similar to the other three dungeon themes; the pace is slow but eerie, gives off the impression that it sounds broken somehow. Something is off here, and it’s easy to figure out what that is from the get go: you’re basically entering a majestic, ancient, mechanical mausoleum, where everything went terribly wrong a century ago. Someone is gone, someone you knew, someone who was probably close to you, but it’s impossible to be sure. You don’t remember a thing, and this entire ordeal is confusing at best, and terrifying at worst. It’s your duty to make things right again.

It’s the same for all four Divine Beasts upon entering, save for the obvious little differences that separates them from each other and make them unique. Ruta’s is played on a major key, adhering to a sense of hopefulness. Naboris’s begins with a startling smashing of the piano keys, much like thunder of a sudden lighting strike. And Rudania’s theme starts threatening, dangerous, like scalding lava.

But now, back to Vah Medoh. The tone here is… alienating. The dissonant chords are all over the place, and feel disconnected, cold. It’s almost as if someone doesn’t want us to be here, or just like the elusive key, our presence is unexpected. Fitting, for a Divine Beast that’s high above the land, impossible for most to reach, yet we somehow made it. Apart from the piano, we have the occasional hint to rito culture, in the shape of a short, synthetic version of the rolled chords at the very beginning of Rito Village. A quiet reminder of where we come from. There is also, of course, the morse code distress signal, but we’ll talk more about that later.

As soon as this formal introduction is over, we finally get to the more, say, intimate stuff. Oh, and wouldn’t you know, it’s just tragic.

One terminal activated.

There’s no better short way I can describe this passage, other than anxiety-inducing. Especially when the strings come into play, and there’s two reasons I can think of why I feel this is an important thing to point out:

1- Characters and Symbolism.

I tend to associate stringed instruments, all of those which compose the violin family, with rito culture. And Revali, most specifically. In Creating a Champion we can see the early concept art and designs for all or most major characters in the game, and Revali’s highlighted rough design might be the one that changed the most throughout proper development of the character, out of all champions. He looks quite different from our usual depiction of him, it’s fascinating. What truly catches my eye, however, is the design of his bow.

You thought bird puns were bad? Oh boy, how do you feel about Revali having a bow that looks like a violin/cello/viola??? And do you need a bow to play it also??? Like, is it even an instrument or it’s nothing more than a mere fashion statement?-

Anyway. I believe this was originally going to be a not-so-subtle wink to rito culture, being heavily musically inclined as we can see and conclude for ourselves. Perhaps Revali was going to be a musician as well, now how cool it that!

Needless to say, the idea was eventually scrapped. But one detail I am CERTAIN carried over to the character we know and love today(okay not all of us love him but seriously if you dislike him why are you still here lol): strings. The association between bows(weapon) and stringed instruments, aside from being a quite clever and creative one, goes beyond the concept art and remains strong as part of Revali���s character, settling for having a presence via score. After all, Revali is a master of archery, so in that way it makes sense to keep strings as symbolism to reinforce the idea and drive it home.

But can you guess what other thing Revali excels at? That’s right: flying. He’s the only rito we know of who successfully managed to take advantage of wind currents and bend them to his will. And do you know what musical instruments are often used to evoke the feeling of flight and gale? If you thought of bowed strings, you’re correct! Unfortunately, I couldn’t find much support on this topic online, so you’ll have to take my word for it. I am most certain that this is fact, although not something worth discussing on the Internet, by the looks of it.

Anyhow, violins/cellos/etc are ever-present whenever we’re close to Rito Village or dealing with a rito related mission. Attack on Vah Medoh, for example, features a sequence of strings that is meant to evoke the strong winds we’re fighting against in that particular moment(*). Another great example is The Final Trial, the song that plays at the shrine of resurrection nearing the end of the Champions’ Ballad. Preceding the activation of each terminal, you’ll notice that a new instrumental element joins the crowd: the first one corresponds to the tambourines, related to the zora and Mipha; the second one are strings, referencing the rito and Revali, etc. I tell you, the moment I heard this during the trial I almost started crying like a baby. And, although strings have a lot to do with Rito culture in general, they tie most strongly to Revali, since he was the champion of his people, and his legacy carried over throughout the years. His accomplishments became material of folk tale, a legend, a source of pride and inspiration for the village. And let’s not forget that, at the end of the day, Revali is the crucial and foremost connection Link has to this place. Other than appeasing Vah Medoh, Link’s responsibility here is to free his past fellow champion’s spirit from Ganon’s malice. The soundtrack is referencing Revali first, and by extension his devotion to his home.

With all that in mind, let’s move on to our next point:

2- Nowhere to Go.

You shoot the canons, land on top of the Divine Beast, do what you gotta do, activate the first terminal and the soundtrack goes off unannounced. Like some sort of surprise anxiety bomb. The rhythm turns fast, the melody erratic, incredibly desperate in its execution. There’s this sheer despair, fear, this feeling of suffocation almost, which are so well achieved in this particular piece.

And that is, partially, because a quite familiar resource is used here as well; one that we’ve heard before in songs such as Rito Village or Revali’s theme. You could even think of it as a motif: two notes are played in an semitone interval, repeatedly and in quick succession. For the sake of later convenience, we’ll call this the Flight Motif, now let me explain why. In Breath of The Wild, this semitone loop is often followed up by some form of resolution. In Rito Village, formerly known as Dragon Roost Island(**), that resolution consists of a graceful descent of the melody, from a high that was built up previously during the motif. On the other hand, if you listen to Revali’s theme, you’ll notice that the interval repeats itself for a couple of times as thought charging up, to then rise fast and determined into a triumphal reprise of Revali’s distinctive assigned melody. This juxtaposition supposes the difference that lays between common rito flight and Revali’s trademark ability; both musical sequences are speaking of flight, albeit in two different languages depending on the way to achieve it. While the rito traditionally use their wings to glide and let themselves get swayed by the air currents Buzz Lightyear style, Revali takes full advantage of his flying capabilities to somehow create an updraft of his own, rising meters above the ground whenever he likes or needs to.

So, now that I layed out my base of thought when focusing on the strings, this’ll be much easier to explain. We’ve settled what the instruments themselves are a symbolic representation of Revali, in this scenario specifically. He was the only one inside Vah Medoh, and the score is, in a way, a retelling of what we can vaguely assume went down here during the Great Calamity, as much as it is what sets the tone and ambience for Link’s mission. But what are we hearing exactly? What we talked about, the Flight Motif, is being repeated nonstop. And that’s the thing, remember how I mentioned that this sequence usually finds resolution at the end? Well. Inside Vah Medoh,… it never does. The melody picks up in numerous occasions, but it’s not nearly as graceful, or calculated, as we’ve grown used to by now. It gets tangled and lost, and then inevitably falls to the ground in disarray. The pattern repeats itself, reaching higher after a handful of failed attempts, but no matter how much it tries, the cycle never ends. What used to tell us about flying and freedom in the skies, has morphed into an almost sinister musical incarnation of a tornado, and there is no way out of this trap. What do you think it must feel like to mindlessly flap your wings against wind currents so strong and violent, that it is impossible to get anywhere nearby, let alone take off every time you lose your balance. Or every time you’re shot down. On top of that, trying to aim and fight back in whatever short breaks and opportunities you get, at an enemy that’s much more powerful and relentless, who’s using your own element as a weapon to destroy you… it’s a risk Revali surely had to take in order to put up a fight. Even knowing full well that the odds were not in his favour, that he was most likely going to lose this battle, that he was going to die. Let that sink in. I’ll skip the activation of the second terminal, since there’s barely any change registered in the theme in general. So-

Three terminals activated.

I know this post is supposed to be a breakdown of the song purely, but that doesn’t mean there’s no place for a little theorising, and the following scrutiny is also quite relevant for our discussion. Bear with me for a bit. I’ve read almost everywhere about people’s most common interpretations on the Divine Beasts SOS signals, and how everyone thinks that Revali’s coming in last (a few seconds later than the other champions) has to do with him holding on for longer. Or, also, overconfident as he was, it means that the idea of calling out for additional support didn’t cross his mind until it was too late, and that’s why the beeping sounds more frantic and panicked than the others’ when it does appear. After giving it some thought myself, I’m betting on the latter option holding more ground, and that’s not all. I want to touch upon a detail of the piece that I never acknowledged was there until very recently(after seeing myself obliged to listen to this song fully and a handful of times, suffering every minute of it for the sole purpose of this analysis. It’s okay I didn’t need my heart anyway). Soon after activating the third terminal, the SOS signal disappears, or grows distant and faint enough that we can’t make it out from the background anymore. In its place, we’re confronted by this… shrill, piercing and painfully slow tune. It sounds synthetic, artificial, devoid of life. And it’s funny, because you know what it reminds me of? I’ll tell you:

A heartbeat flatline sound.

And I want to highlight that this doesn’t happen in any of the other Divine Beasts themes. All their SOS signals carry on, but Medoh’s is no more. This abrupt stop, followed by this bone-chilling tune…. makes me believe that Revali was the first of the champions to fall. A few days ago I came across SuperZeldaGirl’s video on a similar topic, theorising that this could very much be the case. There is not much evidence to support this claim other than some visual cues that could be suggesting to it, but after I found this in the soundtrack, and if we’re to rely on it for anything, I believe Revali was either the first champion to be ambushed by Ganon, or well…. the first to be killed. It is plausible, because short after Calamity Ganon unleashes his power, Revali parts from the group and flies directly to Vah Medoh, and he very well could’ve been the first pilot to arrive.

On this note…. we’ll have to wait and see for ourselves, when Age of Calamity provides long-awaited answers to many of our questions.

Four terminals activated.

An interesting melody is being played on what, for me, would qualify as a glockenspiel or a celesta, which are keyboard based instruments that produce a sound similar to that of a music box(***). If you want to pay more attention to it, I suggest listening to Vetrom’s Instrumental Mix Cover of the theme, where they practically zoom in on this part of the song (keep in mind that it uses the All Terminals’ time signature so it’s being played faster). For some reason, this particular addition makes me feel profound empathy. The sound of this instrument could be described as cute or childlike, magical, even. It is more often than not used to represent innocence, but I highly doubt that’s specifically the intention here. Much like the leading strings’ melody, the melodic contour of this one is trapped in a loop of going up and down constantly, but the difference is that this time around it sounds more under control. And much more uniform too. It doesn’t lose focus or takes risky, fruitless leaps, but rather chooses to stay on a path of waves that consistently rises and falls without taking detours. Like a determined battle strategy, giving it your all. You fall, but get back up again, and try again, and again. It reminds me of Revali’s approach to training, being persistent to the point of overworking himself. He had discipline nailed down to a tee, which I also think served him well in combat. It’s not just about being hard on yourself, either, but being confident and having complete faith in your abilities; believing that you’ll make it.  For this to appear now, that the SOS signal is almost completely gone, is significant because it means that by this point, being so close to success on Link’s behalf, the music is sparing genuine encouragement for once, in spite of the tragic outcome of the past and the danger of the current situation. But, in all honesty, this is probably just me reading too much into it. Perhaps the composer just thought this addition sounded pretty bitching and there’s not much else to it, which is completely fine. Although, intentional or not, sometimes coincidences do happen, and at the end of the day, interpretations like this are a form of appreciation for an artist’s work and for what they can unknowingly accomplish.

All terminals activated.

This is the moment when the song finally lightens up. Notice how the strings abandon the wave pattern for a more even contour. The beat quickens, the melody stabilizes. At first I thought, coming from our flight analogy, that this meant a cease in movement entirely, and it was partly one of the reasons why the song in general makes me anxious. But thinking about it now, …there is something different going on here. The strings are playing on a steady rhythm. It resembles a march, it’s like a pounding heart. It’s a lively, hopeful statement. And what’s interesting is that, up until this point, there was so much fear and helplessness present in the score, even going as far as to reach a dead end when we activate the third terminal. But that’s it, isn’t it? the music just keeps going further. 

It’s saying: this isn’t over yet. Even after complete and utter defeat, there’s still hope and an underlying wish to overcome this predicament, and we started to hear this as soon as a fourth terminal is activated. The melody we previously talked about? it’s here as well, and its beat is much more daring and confident.

And I just want to say… this is so powerful. Because this sentiment is deeply tied to the game’s story and Revali’s character arc. You see, he is introduced as someone who resents Link for being the manifestation of his failure, in a way, because Revali has trained arduously his whole life to be where he is, to be recognised. And yet… this hylian gets chosen by a magic sword and some tale of divine destiny and, apparently, that’s all it takes for him to be deemed the hero that will save the land. In Revali’s eyes, Link has done nothing to prove his worth before him, so it is easy to see why he despises the silent knight so much; he is yet another individual that was born into their destiny. Meanwhile, Revali has had to build his reputation from the ground up, earning him a place among the greatest warriors of Hyrule, and even then he finds himself surrounded by people who grew up praised for being born gifted.  We can see how Revali is the odd one out, and can map out the reason for him acting so antagonistic towards Link.

But once we’re on Medoh, things start to change. When Link enters the Divine Beast, Revali greets him with disdain, as per usual. Of course, Link has no recollection of whatever happened a hundred years ago, other than a small glimpse of the rito champion talking down to him, a memory that came and went in a flash. So as Link, we more than expect Revali to act cold and mocking, which he does. He provides us with as little help as needed in order to free Medoh, reluctantly, shielding his wounded pride over having to wait for Link, of all people, to come to their rescue. But you can hear him starting to open up bit by bit(I wish I could translate his dialogue directly from Japanese but I’ll make do with a couple of dubs and other numerous sources from translators online). With each little step Link takes towards success, activating the terminals, the perception Revali has of him shifts from one of resentment to one of genuine admiration and respect. By the end of it all, he is willing to not only cheer on Link during the boss battle, but to trust him with his life’s worth achievement. And once left alone, he admits defeat and lets go of his bitterness, realising that he was wrong to underestimate Link, and later wishes he could’ve had a chance to measured up to him. To take all of this into consideration and work with it in the soundtrack I think it’s genuinely splendid. And for once, I am grateful that it ends in somewhat of a positive note that puts my soul to rest. I still have a hard time listening to the first two thirds of the entire thing, but now I can look forward to a hopeful and earnestly heartening conclusion for all the pain that this composition puts me in. I must admit that it’s beautifully and brilliantly crafted, and that I am enamoured of it regardless.

That is why I wrote roughly 4k words about it! I hate myself!

If you’re as crazy as me about the soundtrack of this game, I recommend you read the published cd interview with the composers themselves! if you haven’t already. I just found it yesterday(unbelievable but it’s true) and… after writing all of this and checking it out, I felt validated. It sure is a one of a kind feeling. 

Alright folks, we’ve made it to the end. Congratulations for sticking around and thanks being interested in my nonsensical rambling! 

I also hope that you, like me, will now be unable to listen to bowed strings without being reminded of Revali. Good luck!

————– Annotations/Sidenotes/Whatever

(*)The Flight Motif(in point number 2) is also present in this track. We can hear it in the background right after the Rito leitmotif, as per usual. It starts with a clarinet, I think, before the strings take the lead. (**) Note that the Flight Motif only comes into play in the Breath of The Wild rendition of the song. (***)I strongly associate this instrument with Mipha, given that it is used in her theme, in every “response” to the initial melody. It can be heard in Attack On Vah Ruta, as well, it enters the scene when the notes Mi(E) and Fa(F) are played. The initial tune, Si and Do(B and C) are played on a clarinet or oboe, wind instruments just like the flute that leads Sidon’s respective theme. The celesta can also be heard inside Vah Ruta, activating the first terminal…. when the song really takes a turn just like Medoh’s. Mipha has nothing to do with the song of this analysis, however. We must understand that instruments, although they are attached to characters/various story elements in some cases, can always be used outside of that context, for that is the nature of an orchestral soundtrack. If you have this many tools at your disposal, you will make good use of them.

[bregee13]

My DTL4 Wish List

Idk why I'm making this, as this won't really do much of anything, but I want to make a wish list of stuff I would want for DtL4. (And maybe for remakes too!) Also, I haven't played TR so everything mentioning it is all from what I've heard. Please get TR if you haven't yet!)

Before I start my wish list, I want to say that some of y'all need to calm down about TR being a "horrible game". It's not that bad, it's just kinda disappointing. It has pacing issues, replayability issues, glitches, gameplay issues, doesn't have much drawing, as well as other things. BUT! I feel like some people need to remember that this game is pretty much the devs way of taking a step back into the DtL scene, seeing how interested people are in it. It's not exactly meant to be an "outstanding game of the year", but rather it's a quick test. Because they want to get back into this series! And if this small 5/10 dollar game (which, may I add is also very obvious sequel fodder) manages to get enough attention and success, they'll have good reason to make more (and better) DtL content!!! ALSO!!! If you think TR isn't worth getting due to it's issues, remember that (unlike the old games) it will get updated and patched a bunch! So while it may never be the best dtl game, it will get better over time! I swear! (Also, switch touchscreen support will be added in the future so... *cough* *cough* get Drawn to Life: Two Realms *cough*) So dear anybody that thinks harassing the devs is a good idea, THEY PUT THEIR HEARTS INTO IT AND WANT TO MAKE MORE DTL! SO SHUT IT!!!

...Anyway, I'm going to start with my wish list now.

1) A nice story that continues off of TR. I don't have many exact demands for plot. Basically, I just want an awesome story! Maybe one that's even better than all the others combined!

2) Return to the old level format! (...kinda) While the concept of these puzzle platforming levels is cool, it doesn't seem to work in execution. For the most part, I'd like levels much like the ones in TNC. Short enough to go through in a breeze, as well as being unique and replayable enough to not get tired of all the levels. But there's some additional things I'd like for levels. Like a few more branching paths to encourage exploration. 

3) Keep a few puzzle elements! As much as the entire game being puzzle levels wasn't exactly the best idea, I would personally enjoy having the occasional puzzle in some levels! The first two games don't really have many puzzles in levels, and I think a bunch of the ones that do really stand out! In fact, if you really want to add a handful of TR-ish levels along side regular levels, that might work! (As long as any TR-ish levels are more polished)

4) BRING BACK COLLECTIBLES! The first game had so many collectibles (most of them weren't optional though...)! The second game not as much. And TR isn't necessarily a collectathon. I'm not asking for a million collectibles required to beat the game, but rather a bunch of optional (and a handful of required) collectibles in the game! Maybe you can have a bunch in different levels, and some in the overworld! Either way, I want to be encouraged (but not forced) to explore!! 

5) SIDEQUESTS!!!! OH MY GOSH, SIDEQUESTS PLEASE!!! Having little levels for a bunch of side characters is a nice start, and it's super cool, but I want MORE! You know how the Wii game had a bunch of characters that gave you sidequests to do? (defeat x number of a certain enemy, getting certain collectibles, beat the level under a certain time, etc.) That was pretty neat! I want that! AND THEN SOME! I also want to complete more specific quests for certain characters! You know how TNC has a bunch of cool Raposa that don't do anything story-wise? I want to do quests for them! (For example, Iolani can't use the bathroom because she misplaced a certain form. I always wanted to be able to go into a level to fetch that form for her!) Oh! And maybe a fetch quest or two? There's so many ideas you can implement with these sidequests. And I want these sidequests to have mini stories too! When I complete them, I want some kind of award! Perhaps a collectible? Even if I don't get anything, I still want acknowledgement from the characters that I helped them! What can I say? I like the dialogue!

6) DRAWING PLATFORMS! I would LOVE to be able to draw platforms again! It's DRAWN to Life after all! Though I wouldn't want to be forced to draw too many in a row. 

7) Optional Drawings! I LOVE the idea of having optional drawings! The ones in TR are nice, though I'd like them more if the characters reacted to my drawings. Like the village creations in TNC! Those were great! (And maybe we could get awards for doing them!) Optional creations in levels are a nice idea too! The Wii game did those, and it was a nice touch. However, it often saturated each level with unnecessary drawing time. Not only because there was a lot of them, but because it was hard to tell what creations were required and which ones were cosmetic. So if cosmetic creations in levels would be a thing, I'd want a way to tell them apart from ones I need to do.

8) Bosses! I would LOVE to fight a couple of bosses again!!! PLEASE 505 GAMES! DIGITAL CONTINUE! GIVE ME SOME CREATIVE BOSSES!!! And honestly? I just really want to beat Aldark to a pulp. 

9) Toys and Enemies? I honestly think toys (as a mechanic) is super neat! Being able to place enemies and tools in a level is cool as heck! Though I wouldn't want every level to rely on that mechanic. Also, here's an idea. What if we go back to calling the little enemy/toy creatures "enemies", and call all the non-living stuff "toys"! ...Unless we're calling them all toys for some plot reason??? 👀

10) MULTIPLAYER?!? Idk how it would work, but it would be cool!

11) Sharing your creations!!! What if we could share our creations in a way that let other people use them? Kinda like animal crossing??

12) MINIGAMES!! MINIGAMES, PLEASE!!! I want to be able to waste my time playing a bunch of different minigames!! Maybe they'll be like an arcade, and require a handful of rapocoins to play (so you have something to use them for after buying everything)? As for minigame ideas, I would be happy with the ones from the old games, plus some! (The snowball fight, the rocket shooter game, the surfboard game) You can even introduce the minigames that were cut from the first game!

13) Developers Grove?!? Not a necessity, but I really miss it. 

14) A level builder?! The idea of building and sharing levels is super neat!! Though it's not my priority.

15) I know I said I wasn't going to focus on story stuff, but I want to be able to get to know all the characters! The main ones AND the side ones! Whether it's by having them all in the main plot, or giving side characters well deserved mini plots! 

That's all I can think of for now, but let me know what y'all think! And maybe add anything that comes to mind?

[tagsecretsanta]

From @neuroticphysiologist

To @i-am-chidorixblossom

Secret santa does not own this work, full credit to author above!

With Brains busy with his project, Virgil volunteers to help John with the maintenance for  Thunderbird 5. 

Prompts: 

*Virgil spending time in Thunderbird 5 with John 

*Virgil looking after his brothers and them returning the favour when he needs it *Winter/snowy vacation with the Tracy boys 

********************************************************************************************** 

Virgil came down to Brains' lab to see what's up. 

"Hey, Brains." 

"Hello, Virgil." 

"Anything I can do to help?" 

"N-none, I'm afraid. But when I get to w-work on the new Zero X, I'll call you." "Okay, sure." 

He looked around the lab. It was quite organized; files piled up and tools all placed on  the desk. He stared at his calendar. 

"Well, it seems like you have something important to do." 

"Oh, this?" Brains was referring to his current task. "Y-yes, it's very important." "No, I meant the annual maintenance for Thunderbird 5. It's on your calendar, Brains." "Oh, d-dear," he checked his calendar. "I should be working with John by now. T-thank  you for reminding me, Virgil." 

But Brains said he's completely in focus with his project. If he leaves now, the invention  would go critical. 

He has been so busy since they found out about what happened to Jeff. He proceeded  to work on the new Zero X, and he's also working on something to free the Mechanic  from the Hood's control. The said second project is one of his most difficult tasks to do, and he‟s still not done yet. He was making sure that the Mechanic won't get hurt. It took  him several tries but he failed. But he always knew that he's almost there. 

The new Zero X requires a lot of parts, but Brains and MAX cannot do it themselves.  The rest of the family comes down to help from time to time. Virgil also serves his  favorite brand of coffee to him; it's something to accompany him with his work.

But sometimes, poor Brains needs to have a break, but working on something scientific  and logical keeps him going. 

"M-MAX will be a great help for John, but I c-couldn't send him alone without my help." Virgil is concerned about Brains, so he spoke up. "I'll do it. I'll head to Thunderbird 5 and  help John with the maintenance." 

Brains sighed. "Thank you, Virgil." 

"But I think I'm gonna need the checklist for it." 

"Of c-course. Hold on." 

Virgil knew the spare parts Thunderbird 5 needs to maintain its functionality. He sends  them via space elevator. But being there with John, he will encounter doing the annual  maintenance for the first time. 

Brains moved his chair to the drawers to find the folder. Unfortunately, he didn't have a  soft copy for the checklist, but anyways, he passed the hard copy to Virgil. "John has an  extra copy, so if you n-need to review the ch-checklist before proceeding to Thunderbird  5, you've g-got that." 

"Thanks, Brains." 

Virgil headed to the lounge to talk to John. 

"What is it, Virgil?" 

"Hey John, I'm coming up there to help you with the maintenance for Thunderbird 5." "Thanks. Is Brains up for the job too?" 

"No, that's why I volunteered to help you. He's been so busy lately." "I see." 

"Can I use the space elevator, John?" 

"It's quite risky to use it, since my last mission with a rogue ship was a mess and it  almost broke a few of the space elevator's minor parts." 

"Brains was almost angry at you." 

"Yeah," John nodded. 

"You've been so impulsive at the time." 

"I had no choice. Alan got his hands full and I'm the only one who can help. Well,  speaking of Alan, you can wait for him to take you here. He's almost done." "Sure. I'll just review the checklist Brains gave me." 

"Take your time," John closed the call, and then proceeded to notify Alan. "Oh, hey, John!" 

"Virgil is planning to come up to Thunderbird 5 to help me with the maintenance." "What about Brains?" 

"He's busy at the moment. Virgil needs a pick up."

"FAB. Heading to Earth's orbit now." 

Virgil heard Thunderbird 3's engines, and when it landed on the launch pad, he brought  the checklist, geared up, and proceeded to join Alan. Thunderbird 3 launched again and  docked to Thunderbird 5. 

"Here we are, Virg. Wish you luck." 

"What for?" 

"Checking the external is probably the hardest of them all, but you'll get there." "Thanks, Alan." 

"No problem." 

******* 

Virgil brought the folder and entered Thunderbird 5. He heard John talking to Alan  through the comms. 

"Unfortunately, Alan, we have a situation." 

Alan's sigh was heard. "And what's that?" 

"Satellite in uncontrollable spin," John explained the details. "But I'll know you'll finish it  fast." 

"Okay, John, Tell the crew I'm on my way." 

When Virgil heard Thunderbird 3 leave the dock, he started floating to meet his brother. "John? I have the... whoa!" 

John went to the corridor to meet Virgil, who's currently seen floating upside down. "You  got an extra copy from Brains." 

"Yeah. There's a lot of work to do." 

John grabbed his arm to get him right side up. "I hope you'll get used to it, Virgil." "I'll get it, John. First time I've been here, I sent you half a dozen of chocolate cream  bagels. I wanted to send it to you personally because I left an important note." "From Virgil, with love?" 

"Not only that." 

"Yeah, I read the rest of it." 

Virgil opened the folder for a brief review. "So, where do we start?" "We're going for a spacewalk. We'll check the externals first before we head in here.  Alan, EOS, and I repaired the space elevator yesterday and right now it still needs  rechecking to see if it works perfectly." 

"Alright then." 

"Free float for a while, I'm almost done plugging the wires." 

"I'll help you."

******* 

"By the way, Alan reminded me of checking the externals." 

"Let me guess, difficult?" John glanced at his brother. 

"That's what he said." 

"Yes, it is, but today, we won't be long. I've started the maintenance two days ago,  pretty early because we weren't so busy, so just in case, I proceeded right away. Brains  and MAX helped me on the first day, then Alan and EOS on the next day." Five is the biggest of all the Thunderbirds; it takes a long time to do the general  maintenance, so it's checked annually. Some parts are checked if there are problems. It  is made sure if all the systems are functioning properly. 

John closed the control panel. 

"We'll get back to the processors later. Let's go, Virgil?" 

******* 

They hooked themselves near the airlock when they were outside. As Virgil observed,  everything is almost complete. The solar panels are in the right place, the gravity ring is  spinning normally. He remembered what he reviewed. Then he floated to the underside  to check the hidden control panels. John was in the opposite side to check the  maintenance hatch. They moved on to the next tasks when they switched places. It took  them about an hour and a half. Then they were back together when they reached the  space elevator. 

"Hey, John," Virgil started conversing. 

"What is it, Virgil?" 

"I was thinking if we could go out in the snow this year. Gordon and Alan were asking  me." 

"I think so. I don't usually like going out in the snow, but if the whole family will agree,  that's fine with me." 

Virgil climbed up to see his brother. "I miss it, John. Last time we went out, it was like  three Christmases ago." 

"Yeah, I remember. Was it because Gordon and Alan miss having snowball fights?" Virgil chuckled. "I guess so." 

"That would be a great idea, Virgil." 

They talked about their previous Christmases on Tracy Island. Decorating days were a  mess. Those include wrapping someone with a tinsel, ribbons, or gift wrappers and  tossing the Christmas balls and they end up being broken. The two youngest were the  hosts of that. There's also the time when Virgil borrowed John's digital single lens 

camera and rainbow colored Christmas lights from the box for an experimental photo shoot. He asked Kayo to be the first model and it went perfectly. 

Almost everyone helped Grandma when it comes to cooking. It was a good feast for the  family. Exchange gifts were also present in the tradition, and singing a few Christmas  songs. 

Last time they went out for Christmas, they went to Switzerland. They stayed for four  days and three nights in a hotel. They went snowboarding and built a snowman on the  first day, skiing and snowball fights on the second day, and snowshoe hiking and getting  warm inside the ski resort on the third day. It was the best. 

In the ski resort, the family met a South Korean tour guide, who stayed in Switzerland  for his job. He assisted them for the skiing, snowboarding, and snowshoeing equipment.  He was happy seeing them enjoy themselves with snow sports, not to mention the  bragging of the "maknae line", as he called it. When it comes to snowboarding, Mr.  Scott the Showoff and Alan the Awesome at Agility were the coolest at that. There's  also Kayo the Freestyle Skier. Gordon wanted to show his best too, but snow sports  didn't like him so much. 

Virgil was the best at making snow sculptures. He built around five unique ones. They  would've been good for display, but a crazy antic from the tinies ruined one of the  sculptures. They escaped from the big V with a sled. 

John always kept warm in the chalet, along with Grandma and Brains, the two youngest  were always up for a snowball fight, and Kayo was the lead at snowshoe hiking. 

Virgil wished they could go out in the snow again, after reflecting about those memories. 

"It's the 7th of December," he said. "We should plan it somehow." 

"Let's hope that we're all gathered together this week to talk about it." 

They were done checking the space elevator. They tested it when they went inside  Thunderbird 5. It worked perfectly. 

"All done," John noted. "Let's head to the processors." 

The maintenance was almost done, but Virgil wanted to talk more with John. It's been a  long time they haven't had pretty long conversations that were about outside the rescue  business. He thought about what he wanted to say to him.

When they started checking, he stared at his little brother. He always wanted to tell him  about his habits. John looked so tired. He looked paler, slimmer, and his bags under his  eyes looked pretty obvious. He was on duty for six consecutive days with little hours to  rest. 

"How long did you rest your eyes, John?" 

"Four hours. Why are you asking?" 

"I'm sorry, John, it's just, look at you. Grandma is so gonna send you back to Tracy  Island." 

John sighed. Yeah, he's right. "I'm sorry, Virgil." 

"We're not so busy after all. After the maintenance, we're going back to Earth together,  alright?" 

He just nodded in response. 

It was like, „here we go again, now faced with the other smother hen of the Tracy  brothers‟. Virgil always had to be sure that his brothers are okay. He would simply ask  with a pat on the shoulder. If one of his brothers is not in a good state, physically, he‟ll  take him to the bedroom (or to the infirmary if it‟s serious) to give the best treatment.  Emotionally, he would give a big hug. His hugs are the best. 

He helped Alan with some lessons that confused him. He also helped a stressed out  Scott to keep him calm. For Gordon, well, he has always been by his side. And John,  he'll help him with his work, such as the repairs in Thunderbird 5. 

But who takes care of Virgil when he's not okay? 

At times, stubborn Virgil hides his pain. He also hides in his room to let out his sadness.  When one of his brothers notices him, he would feel the same. They have returned the  favor. 

He remembered the time he faced one of the hardest decisions in his life. He was  offered a scholarship from a prestigious university because of his remarkable musical  talent. It's a great opportunity, but he was having second thoughts. He had International  Rescue business to handle, and he had to take care of his family. It took him days to  decide, until he finally chose to reject the scholarship offer. When he went back home,  he had regrets. If he chose to accept the offer, his family will still support him, of course.  He was stressing himself out even though he had made his choice. He was thinking that  he did something wrong. He wouldn't have the opportunity back. He sat down next to  the grand piano and nodded. When Scott came in to hug him, he couldn't help but cry.  Then his brothers followed. It was hard to set aside the musical career he wished to 

pursue ever since he was little. It would've been a dedication to his mother. But it  wouldn't upset her, right? If he rejected the offer just to help his family first? 

Oh, man. Even today, it still hurts him. But he knows he'll get there. He'll achieve his  dream of becoming a concert pianist someday. 

The moment was all in his mind while replacing the CPUs. He slowed down his actions  and John noticed him. 

“Are you okay, Virgil?” 

He went back in focus and again and quickly closed the board. “Oh, I‟m fine, John.  Nothing to worry about.” 

“Are you sure? Because you looked a bit upset.” 

“It‟s nothing.” 

“Here you go again, Virgil. Earlier, you were concerned about me because I wasn‟t  taking care of myself. At least I was honest about why. And you, you‟ve been hiding  again.” He stopped his work to talk to his brother. “What was it that bothered you?” Virgil sighed. “Remember the time I told Scott about the scholarship I declined?” “Yeah?” 

“That‟s what I was thinking. Still hurts me, though.” 

Yep, John had to get back home to see him. Seeing Scott comforting a sobbing Virgil  who was having regrets about rejecting a wonderful offer that would help him in his  musical career sure was painful to the heart. John always loved his big brother‟s  playing. He sits down and watches him play, and sometimes, he would accompany him  with his trumpet. He rarely plays the instrument. He enjoys it more when Virgil is there  to play with him. 

John puts his hand on his brother‟s shoulder. “I was sad about that too, wondering why  you did that. But I know you‟ll get to it.” 

“Thanks, bro. I always keep that in mind.” 

******* 

“We‟re all done here,” John picked up the tools. “Thank you, Virgil.” “No problem. Remember, we‟re going home together.” 

“Of course. Let me have a word with EOS first.” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

Virgil continued picking up the tools used to repair the processors. Minutes later, John  did a quick fix on EOS‟ systems and now he‟s ready to join his brother.

They rode on the space elevator and headed to their quarters to switch to their  comfortable clothes. But John, he took a shower first. Later on, he headed to the kitchen  to grab something to eat, a little more than his usual appetite while in space. Meanwhile,  Virgil talked to Grandma about John staying at home for a few days. When International  Rescue gets busy, then it‟s time for John to get back to work. 

John went back to his bedroom after having small talks with his brothers. He noticed  that the bed sheets were changed and the comforter was placed neatly. “Grandma changed that for you,” he heard Virgil. 

“I‟ll send her a personal thank you tomorrow,” John lied down and tucked himself in. “I‟ll turn off your alarm clock,” Virgil approached to the bedside table. “Virgil, that‟s already broken two months ago.” 

Virgil checked the alarm clock. The second hand was missing and the battery was  drained. 

“I didn‟t bother to fix it,” John explained. 

“Your phone?” 

“No alarm set in there.” 

“Alright. It‟s just that you need to get some sleep.” 

Virgil walked to the door. 

“Virgil?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Thank you, for today.” 

“Always happy to help, little brother. And… thank you too. We haven‟t had a pretty long  talk together, and it was nice to spend the time with you.” 

“You‟re welcome.” 

Virgil turned off the light. “Good night, John.” 

“Good night, Virgil.” 

-end-

[fairycosmos]

ive deleted this sm times,i need some1 to talk to..i hope it's not weird im coming to u... basically me n my gf have been together a year, very in love, n make eachother the happiest we've ever been. but we r kinda mentally ill n when we get into fights (ovr jealousy or stupid stuff) we go VERY low n it impacts us sm. lockdown is keeping us apart n hurting us a lot rn too:( idk what to do, how to reassure her this cycle can b broken so we can b together... bcus we need change n rn i cry too much

:(( i’m so sorry for the late response to this, i hope you’re still open to hearing some of my thoughts. and it’s not weird at all, don’t worry for a moment about that. my initial response is to ask if it’s possible to put the relationship on (for lack of a better phrase) pause for a bit, while you both work on your mental health?  when the quarantine is over, of course. i know it’s not ideal, and it’s very painful to have to choose between looking after yourself and the one you love but......when both people are in a bad place, it’s really hard to make healthy judgements and to approach the relationship from a place of rationality and clear headed thinking. it’s a domino effect of sorts, where one person gets (maybe irrationally) jealous and the other feels intensely attacked and there’s a spiral of tension and fighting that doesn’t get resolved, because you can’t see from each other’s point of view. honestly, i feel like the more you guys push off getting help, the worse it’s going to be.  and then it’s going to end the same way any way. of course, it’s no ones ‘fault’. it’s important to stress that. and it’s okay to be upset by how frustrating it is to have to take a step back from dating. like you’re absolutely allowed to be mad, hurt, to not want to have to deal with it......but i really think making the right decision for your own well being is important if you want to break out of the cycle. like you said, change is necessary and though it’s scary and uncomfortable, it’s not always bad. there will be ample opportunity for reconnection in the future and you can still be a big part of each other lives, but it doesn’t have to be as intense as it is right now if you want to start putting yourselves first.  your mental health is the basis for which everything on your life hinges on. you have to take care of yourself so that someday, sooner than you realize, you can begin to take care of each other in the right way. if you’re not seeking the support you need, even in indirect forms such as calling a hotline or researching and implementing positive coping mechanisms into your daily routine, then other areas of your life will begin to feel the strain of that weight. it’s inevitable, so it’s better to nip it in the bud instead of continuing to let it snowball. it’s absolutely possible for people who struggle with mental illnesses to maintain healthy and safe relationships with others, and it truly is for you too, but it just seems to me that right now you both have to prioritize yourselves in order to be able to achieve that. if you have a therapist or a counselor, or any sort of care worker, i’d really urge you to talk to the (obviously through phone call or skype) to see what they recommend. if not, there are a lot of mental health support lines available, and mental health professionals are still looking for clients they can work with remotely - there are still resources out there and you, and your relationship are not a lost cause. i promise. it’s just a matter of knowing what you need to do right now in order to ensure that your future matches up with a healthy relationship. which is a lot easier said than done, and you don’t have to have it all figured out rn. but baby steps are vital. i really think you should talk to your gf about what you both realistically need to do in order to find peace, to heal and to be able to begin building a foundation of trust and mutual support. even if she’s not happy about it, she should want to see you do well, and i’m sure you want that for her. if you can get on the same page about where to go from here, and about looking for the help you both need, then i truly think it could work out in the long run. with some patience, some time and some self care. anyway this is just my opinion and definitely not like.......solidified advice, but i hope you’re ok and that you know i’ll be here if you need someone. i thought i already replied to this, but i guess it was only in my head lmfao. i’m rooting for you. stay safe and take it easy ok 💞

[fuck-customers]

Few Months worth of BS

So a mix of be hardly getting on tumblr anymore and submissions being closed whenever I am on has caused a pileup of BS stories from both jobs, enjoy. 

Note- Job 1 is gas station cashier, job 2 is Tiny SeaTzars

1. Job 1- it’s like 9am, i’m barely awake and this dude who looks old enough to be my dad comes in. He’s nice enough, pleasant guy, buys his stuff and leaves. Comes back in like 5 seconds later to ask if i’m married. I was 17 at the time so I said “Sir, i’m 17.” and he immediately backpedaled thank the heavens. Creepy enough, yeah? Nope! His first thought was to say “I’m so sorry, it’s just my wife recently passed and I’ve been looking.” To which my manager (my mom) pops around the corner and says “Well you’re looking in the wrong places sugar.” In a lovely tone that screamed “You’re 3 seconds from joining your wife”. He left redder than a tomato and that incident has become a running joke with everyone. 

2. Job 1- Slow day so far, mostly just pissers. (peeps who use the bathroom and don’t buy anything) Dude comes in looking like hell. Fills his own cup up from our fountain and gets pissy when it rings up a whopping $2, says it’s a refill. I tell him we don’t have refill prices. So he goes and switches it out to one of our cups. Then he wants to pay with a card, gets even more pissy when I tell him there’s a $5 minimum on cards, says “that’s bullshit, since when?” Well ever since the card fees aren’t worth it on under $5 purchases, so always. Best part of that is we have LARGE signs on both sides of the door and ON THE FRONT of the fountain machine that say “Due to fees, there is a five dollar minimum purchase requirement on all cards, thank you for your cooperation!” He gets pissed beyond words, my manager tries getting him to calm down, he says “Not right now, you really don’t know the kind of day i’m having.” Things escalated quick and next thing I know he throws his full cup of soda on the floor and stormed out cussing up a storm. I ran after him and got his plate number as my manager called the cops but they couldn’t get anything from it so he’s never been found and ugh. Prick. Prick is all I can say.

3. Job 2- Someone actually called Tiny SeaTzars to ask for the hours of the CFK (backwards) next door. Just… really?

4. Job 2- We have a new dude, on like his second week. If a pizza is expired (been in the box for over an hour) we workers can eat it. Boy he was happy about that. Thing is, he’s almost always eating. Wasn’t working Friday but got told Saturday. It’s about 6pm, y'know, near peak rush hour when we can easily make a $2k hour, and he’s in the back leisurely eating pizza. Everyone else is busting their ass and he’s eating. Makeline dude had to leave his post to get sauce (because SOMEONE wasn’t at his post where he could be asked to get it for him so makeline doesn’t have to LEAVE THEIR POST IN THE MIDDLE OF A RUSH) and found him and chews him out, and thankfully he got a writeup for it. But just??? Bruh what level of stupidity/obliviousness do you gotta be on to see everyone rushing and running around you and think “Oh, time to eat some pizza.” ????

4. Job 1- Lady I don’t know comes up to the pump and sets of the bell that says someone’s trying to get gas. We have some regulars that we just release it and they’re trusted to come in and pay after, otherwise we’re prepay. However, I have never seen this chick before since I’ve worked here so not doing that. I tap her pump on my screen to shut it up and wait for her to come in. She does, all smiles, and says hi. I ask what I could help her with, she gets a confused look on her face and says “I need gas.” and I tell her we’re prepay. Bitch mode starts to wind up and she asks in a pissy voice “Really? Since when?” and I tell her “Since the station opened.” and then she says “Hmph, okay, I’ll talk to Sean (store owner) about that.” and leaves. Like, okay? We’re prepay, you’re not gonna change that by talking to the boss, who will tell you we are prepay. I don’t get people who think they can namedrop my boss to scare me??? Like “I know Sean.” Yeah, he runs a mechanic shop, half the county knows him, your point?? Best part is when they mispronounce his name or get it entirely wrong. “Yeah, me and Shane have been friends since we were kids.” Well good for you and Shane, but that ain’t helping you with SEAN.

5. Job 2- Lady calls in a 10 pizza order to be picked up the next day at 10am. We don’t open until 10:30. I try telling her and she get’s angry but tried meeting in the middle for 10:15. Talked to my managers and they said no way before 10:30. Tell her and she gets so pissed. “For such a big order you can’t get there 15 minutes early to open?” Okay first of all, do you really believe that we get here at 10:30 and open up? What the fuck are we going to sell?? We need to count down the registers, prep the toppings, make sheetouts and stock the hotboxes. We’re here at 6am or better just so we CAN open up at 10:30. We can’t just open the doors at 10:15 because if there’s more customers waiting around we’ll have to serve them when we’re NOT ready because we let you in, and then it snowballs into “well you were open this early yesterday/last week/blahblah” and then we get in trouble. In the end she cancelled her order and asked for corporates number. 

6. Job 2- Sunday after-church rush. Coworker calls in to ask for when he works next. Manager flat out tells him to get up and come check for himself because we can’t stop and look for him right now and hangs up. Seriously dude, literally EVERYONE knows to take a picture of the schedule when it’s posted. You hang around for half an hour before you leave every day anyway so wtf is stopping you from being an adult and taking a picture of your hours?? He called back like three times over the next few hours and we finally slowed down and told him but my god how stubborn and lazy do you have to be.

7. Job 1- Dude and his friend come in, one goes the the bathroom, the other gets some candy (which is RIGHT on the other side of my counter) and then goes looking around the shelves for other stuff. Buddy comes back to pay for gas and other guy leaves. I tell bathroom boy to hold on and I do a quick survey of the shelves find nothing, then go out to their car and see candy snatcher reclined in the seat eating the Reese’s he just took. I tapped on the window and the dude about jumped a foot in the air. I said “So, do you wanna pay for that or should I just go on and call the cops on you for shoplifting?” and luckily the dude doesn’t try fighting it and comes back in and tells his friend to pay for it. Friend is notably pissed and just glares at him. Tells me to just put whatever change is left after the candy in gas and heads out. Sincerely hope his friend at least thunked him in the back of the head for trying, and failing, at being a petty candy thief. 

8. Job 2- Ever since I’ve gotten glasses my eyes have been bloodshot almost a constant 24/7. Eyedrops clear it up for maybe an hour or two. The first few days the “are you high” question and jokes were kinda funny and amusing, but it’s been two months and it’s still going on. I would just stop wearing my glasses but I need them to legally drive (astigmatism in both eyes) so ugh.

9. Job 1- Once again, the station is prepay. It’s written on every pump in very large letters above every handle. Please tell me why these 5 asian guys (I think relevant? They didn’t seem to understand me well so maybe language block?) could not get it through their heads that they have to pay before they get their gas. They come in saying the pump isn’t working, I say we’re prepay, you have to pay before you get it. One of them goes to hand me his card and I ask how much in gas he’d like. Confusion. Ended up having to explain what prepay was (felt like a tool because of it) and they ended up leaving saying “Okay, we go to station down the street.” And I just.. Okay? Every station in the county is prepay but okay, you do you. Honestly this is more of a “I hope I didn’t offend them” than a fuck them thing. Felt bad I couldn’t help them.

10. Job 2- We ran out of green peppers, so one of our supremes is off the menu unless they’re fine with no peppers. Dude calls and wants the pepper supreme. I tell him we’re out of green pepper and he goes into upset toddler mode. 

Him: “Out of peppers, are you kidding me? How does that even happen?!”

Me: “Well, it’s kinda a supply and demand thing, Sir. If it’s a popular topping we’ll run out of it quick.”

H: “How can you run out of peppers it’s a pizza store you’d think you’d be able to tell when to order more of a topping!!”

And we don’t order it ourselves? We take count and tell our District Manager that we need things and he’s supposed to order them for us? (Dumb system I know but it’s what’s in place) 

In the end he asked for a manager and just hung up when he said the same thing. Found out he left a review on google about us. “Horribly unprepaired for the simplest of orders.” okay buddy, take the one star review and shove it up your ass.

11. Job 2- This one girl I go to school with got hired on. She seemed nice enough, we never talked before but apparently she knew me. She’s a decent worker (few nit-picky things, nothing bad) but… She makes me want to hit her sometimes. I get it, you’re trying to be funny/bubbly/joking/whatever, but I don’t know you well enough for you to be making jokes off of my appearance? I’m aware I that have a slightly larger than average head, I don’t like attention being drawn to it, especially randomly? We’re stretching dough and she just randomly says “You got a big ass head you know that? A big ass head.” and laughs. Like… Thanks, it’s not like that was a point of ridicule in the past or anything. And then while we’re washing dishes she gets mad and threatens to beat me for, wait for it, splashing her with water.

At the sink.

While doing dishes.

And she’s too extra with her reactions. Little extra is funny, I admit, but she is over the top. I was washing deep dish pans and a flake of bread flew off and hit her with some water. She spat and did that little “pthptpthpthtpht” thing  for almost an entire minute, then went on to say “We gonna throw hands if you do that again” I just… Kindly shut the fuck up and let me to dishes by myself if you’re gonna be such an extra [word that almost got this post deleted] like that okay? Just kindly fuck off.

I have plenty more but I feel like this post is too long as is. Enjoy my suffering and expect more to come.

[burberrycanary]

Jug, what you said at Pop’s, I heard you. And whatever you need to do or explore, I support you.

Riverdale 2.01 – A Kiss Before Dying

I have so many feelings about Betty’s statement of support to Jughead. (So. Many. Feelings.)

Being a safe space

In 2.01, I love that Betty doesn’t try to hide that she’s worried and upset. It’s not my favorite dynamic to watch, since I like seeing them be like an adorable pile of kittens with each other, but Betty’s most acute psychological problems and self-harm behaviors come from repressing her feelings to pretend things are fine when they aren’t. She isn’t conveying the full extent of her feelings, which makes sense given the circumstances, but she’s frustrated with Jughead and doesn’t try to hide it. His humor grates on her in a way it usually doesn’t and she spends a lot of the episode shooting Jughead these seriously? and why are you like this? looks.

I’m sure to Jughead this doesn’t feel like a good thing while it’s happening, but it actually is, especially since expressing negative emotions that relate to her own feelings is something Betty struggles with. We’ve seen her avoid expressing feelings that will hurt or even just inconvenience someone else at horrifying cost to herself. I’m stanning so hard for how Betty lets herself have and express inconvenient feelings in this episode.

Jughead and their relationship are still a safe space to be herself. In so much of her life, Betty feels that she has to go all the-Stepfords-of-Riverdale to avoid conflict until she literally starts tearing herself up about it. And she’s not retreating into her version of Alice’s unhinged behavior, which on Betty is a tragic mix of elaborate plots and snowballing lies in order to spare someone else’s feelings that just ends up hurting everyone, and badly.

So be glad your girlfriend is visibly frustrated with you, Jug. Relationships are weird like that.

Making a safe space

Betty’s expressions show how hard making this statement of support is for her. Betty can be rigid and walks this line between passionate and obsessive when she’s fighting for something. And she wants so badly to fight for Jughead here. So stepping back and letting him have their relationship be a safe space where she’ll support him even if she doesn’t agree with his actions or decisions is an interesting choice.  Given how dangerous and high-stakes the situation is, this may be another of their road to hell paved with good intentions moments. But Jughead’s resources and support system, such as it was, have been systematically demolished over the first season. Knowing that he still has Betty’s support must feel like such a lifeline being tossed out between them.

For all Jughead’s smirks and snark, awkward humor and adorable flirting, to me most of his behavior—both charming and uncharming—falls into the category of not waving but drowning. Under all the misdirection and self-defense mechanisms, Jughead is operating from a place of fear. Just look at how scared he is when Betty first brings up their conversation at Pop’s outside the hospital:

Betty giving him some sense of safety in some part of his life—combined with continuing to be honest about her concerns—is so important for his well-being. Knowing that Betty (and Archie!) care that much about him may help him to make better decisions for himself in the long-term by validating that what happens to him does matter despite all the Powers That Be telling him otherwise, over and over.

Betty and Jughead are so young that the only way they will work as a couple over a longer period of time is if they let each other explore and change rather than getting stuck on their idea of who the other person is. And, beyond that, sometimes you have to let people make mistakes and love them anyway. To me, that’s a much sadder and realer part of being in a relationship than just a simple ride-or-die.

[meirilorii]

Wintery Kiss

A Detective Conan and Magic Kaito (DCxMK) fanfic

Summary:

“How did you even find me here Shin-chan?”

A fond chuckle. “Of course I’d find you. I’ve been chasing you for years now that you won’t be able to hide from me anymore, KID-san.”

Kaito pouted, curious, but smiling all the same. “That doesn’t answer my question the slightest bit oh great detective.”

Kaishin/shinkai

Cross posted from Ao3 under MeiriLorii

It was a dark, cold night.

The wind blew past in low freezing degrees as everything around him constantly turned colder, moving his clothes and mussing up his already tousled hair as a few more unruly cowlicks were swept up in several different directions. Exhaling a puff of warm condensing air, the young man sitting desolately by the only occupied bench tugged his light thin clothes —certainly not ones for this kind of weather— firmly around his body in a weak attempt to conserve body heat, contemplating.

It was pretty useless, he knew, as he could barely feel the frigid air. Although.. should he be worried..? Some panicky part of his brain had been whispering that the numbness should be an alarming forewarning that his body was not getting the right temperature it needed. Warmth. But he could barely remember the feeling as he stared at the hand he had been unconsciously rubbing the entire time he had been sitting there. Waiting.

Oh. Right. He had been waiting for someone to make an appearance, right? But for the life of him he couldn’t remember who he’s been waiting for this entire time. Who’d be so important to warrant his patience to wait out in the open with the weather this unstable? Was he even waiting for somehow who will make it or would this be in vain?

Actually, he couldn’t really remember much from the time he had woken up from that brightly lit room. Just that he had to come to this place, something familiar, whatever it might cost him because apparently some part of him feels that this place was important; that it held a remarkably meaningful memory that refused to be recovered from deep within the pit of scrambled mess that was his brain.

This had to some kind of weird dream. He knew from some part deep inside him that people don’t just forget everything in one day. They don’t just wake up from an unknown place he subconsciously knew as a hospital room only to go someplace they thought they should be but apparently couldn’t seem to figure out the reason behind as to why.

He couldn’t even remember his name.. Why his left hand had been covered in bandages —something that had become a makeshift glove— and the faint desperate feeling still thrumming through his adrenaline pumped veins when he had run away from that room.

The young man had to be missing something important, and the thought itself made his head hurt that he had stopped trying to think of it too much in hopes that the pounding headache would just stop.

Somewhere far across the male, the large clocktower chimed its musical bell, the large hand moving to point directly upward towards the sky as it rang its call before midnight.

One more hour..

Just then, sometime after, something soft dropped down bellow his left eye to turn into freezing liquid, moving down his cheek before the wind started to pick up again from its earlier lazy breeze.

Snow. His mind supplied once more as he held his bare and almost frozen hand outward to catch more of the falling white flakes as they started to descent down from the puffy greyish-white clouds overhead.

He could barely recall —a memory?— being drenched as the cold ball of ice soaked through his coat and clothes, someone throwing him a handful in retaliation to start a playful snowball fight. Either that or they’d form something out of the pile that had accumulated that day. (Who’s idea it was or if those were even real or a figment of his imagination, he’s not sure anymore.) Of warm fireplaces, shared blankets and cups of hot beverages. Lazy and comfortable silences that droned on as the nearby grandfather clock slowly ticked away the seconds to lull him into a light sleep..

It was somehow disconcerting how he was starting to long for something he couldn’t even fully remember, but nonethess, he surmised that the winter chill couldn’t be much good for his sore and bandaged up self. (He’s only clad in a pair of what should be his jeans and a light long sleeved shirt. Not exactly heavy and heat conserving.)

But.. He was starting to feel sleepy. He’s tired and he just wanted to take small nap..

Unable to stop his lids from dropping, he fell into a light daze like slumber..

“Hey, Kaito, what do you want to do for Christmas?”

The innocent question snapped said magician out of the mathematical equation he had, for once, been studying about for exams. Normally, Kaito would just wave his hand and skim through his text books with an uncaring air. He usually passed with flying colors anyway even with his obvious inattentiveness during lessons but for now, he deemed a few brush ups and advance topics would do him fairly well especially with his course of action for next week.

Which he hadn’t informed Shinichi as of yet.

And the detective had been the one to bring up about the incoming holidays.. Which was a bit unusual ever since he had known Kudou Shinichi and had started to drop by frequently by the mansion after they had sorted out their own individual mess. Out of the five years that he had known him, this was a first for Christmas, —this year being the one he had managed to finally have the courage to ask Shinichi if he could room with him because despite one of the guest rooms practically being his by now, he still wants to make sure he’s welcomed to stay for far longer than a few days. It was just too spacious and quiet by himself and he just figured that with both of them living by themselves, it wouldn’t be so bad.

Well, it had always been Kaito forcing him out of work for a much deserved break so..

Ah. Shit.

“Eh.. Christmas?” Chuckling sheepishly, Kaito scratched the back of his head lightly, tapping one end of his mechanical pencil by the corner of his lips as he sent his roommate a crooked grin.

Shinichi in return just blinked at him, one raised eyebrow urging him to go on and elaborate as he went back to typing away in his own laptop. Kaito willed himself not to read in too much on the small shift of his body language, telling himself that it was most definitely not disappointment that had shined through the other’s azure eyes for the briefest of seconds before it went back to the usual indifferent stare.

Thief or no thief, he still thinks that the detective was very much annoying whenever he does that. Closing him off as if he couldn’t read him. And well, maybe the smallest bit challenging and attractive. But that’s from a tiny part of his brain that he had tucked way back since it always sprouted nonsense about adorable snappy detectives..

Shaking his head to rid himself of such distracting thoughts, the magician opened his mouth for a response, feeling much like a bastard who’s just making excuses and he cringed inwardly even as his face outwardly showed his deepest sincerity.

“It was just yesterday and I would have told you about it right away but then you’ve got a case until late in the evening.. ” Shrugging lightly, he leaned his head over the heel of his right hand, left hand absently flipping his pen between his fingers and nervousness showing through as the pace picked up with the detective’s show of near callousness.

“Anyways, Kaa-san called and informed me about having scheduled a magic show over New York. Something about a Christmas reunion between her and Oyaji’s common friends that I just have to make a small show for.” Trailing off, he counted off a few seconds before adding. “I was scheduled to go next week and will probably be gone for the duration of about two weeks until after Christmas and well.. I was wondering if somehow you’d be able to come too since we’re given an early break..”

Kaito already knew the answer, but he mentally crossed his fingers anyway.

The continuous clicking and clacking of keys stopped momentarily as Shinichi leaned back on his armchair after a beat of tense silence from Kaito. He looked worn out around the edges and the magician made a mental note to himself that he’d have to pester the detective this weekend just to have the other stop wasting away his day offs solving through a bunch of case files and either going or stumbling over crime scenes.

Apparently, Kaito was Shinichi’s living, walking, and working omamori that cancels out the detective’s corpse magnet abilities. Kaito would always remind him so whenever he’d drag him out for an impromptu vacation and Shinichi would just sigh every time and submit to his whims with little to no struggle. Though the magician secretly likes to think that that’s because his companion might enjoy those out of the blue outings with him.

And it wasn’t like he has anything to lose when they both have everything to gain out of it anyways.

Shinichi’s a detective, but as much as he loves his work and would do anything for justice, Kaito knew that sometimes things just felt too dark that sleep couldn’t even save him from nightmares, the magician dragging him out whenever he felt like the detective needs an out for a while. He empathized with that fairly well. “That sounds great Kaito.” Shinichi’s grin looked genuine although it doesn’t seem to reach his eyes. Kaito knew that look far too much —he’s pretty used to that by now, so why did he feel as if he had just been punched in the gut?— that he had anticipated the next words even before the other opened his mouth to continue, “Your mother must be really proud of you and I’m happy that you can finally start your career from here but.. ”

Kaito cut him off when Shinichi’s words skirted around the conversation, his mind, for once, was unable to come up with the correct set of sentences.

Lips twitching upward into a slight smile —the magician couldn’t do more than that else it would be too fake. “ Yeah. Kaa-san won’t stop telling me that over the phone, so kind of guessed she was.” His normally cheery tone was a tad more neutral than usual, but Shinichi, who he was sure to have caught the slight change, didn’t say anything. Kaito sensed the guilt however, the tenseness over the other’s shoulders, and he suddenly felt undeniably warm as his smile softened into a decidedly indulgent grin.

“But hey, after you’re done with that case with Takagi-keiji, we could always celebrate the new years together, right?” If his words had come out more hopeful, neither decided to comment about it.

The detective should have expected that part really, what with the moonlighting thief’s habit of sending his doves after him after a certain accident —not so much of an accident as it was a cleverly planned one. Though.. That meant Kaito knew and had still tried to ask him if he would be able to make it. Isn’t it just sad that this almost felt like he’s abandoning the other?

He should be feeling annoyed with all the stalking, but he only felt fond exasperation, the latter one winning out over his features as he crossed his arms with a soft sigh.

“Why do I even bother?” Shaking his head, Shinichi could feel a tug on his lips and he didn’t even bother to hide his amusement as he faced the magician fully from his position. “Just try not to blow the house up with all the fireworks.”

And Kaito’s laugh, relieved and content, rang over the halls of the Kudou residence, filling the previously empty house with its warmth.

“-to! ”

He could faintly hear someone shouting something, the words and meaning lost to him as he was still feeling groggy from the impromptu nap.

“Oi! Kai-”

Someone was shaking him now, and even though he felt quite annoyed with the treatment to his limp body, he couldn’t bother to bring himself to move just yet. His eyes felt as if it was bolted close and his arms and legs heavy with lead.

“—you said…”

What were they saying? He couldn’t really think much of anything else at the moment, head feeling as if stuffed with cotton. That was before his head throbbed with a vengeance, more vicious and twice the earlier pain, forcing him to move much closer to that comforting wamth. A soft near inaudible whimper left his dry throat when the movement aggravated what should be numb skin and flesh, bandages slowly being stained red.

“You idiot!”

As the fog over his senses slowly lifted, Kaito could feel his source of warmth shake but he was still unable to discern the reason as to why with his brain still trying to reboot.

“Why’d you..” A choked whisper as the speaker tried to regain composure. “Gods Kaito.. We’ve been searching for you for hours and you’re nowhere to be found. I thought.. I thought he got you this time for good and..”

..What?

Oh. Was that Shinichi? It sure sounds like it. He must be suffering from a pretty bad concussion if he’s ever forgotten his favourite critic for even just a second. But that also doesn’t sound quite about right. Why would Shinichi be acting like this and be reduce to such a mess?

“-nichi?” His voice was horribly hoarse that Kaito gave a brief thought about drinking something to patch the soreness of his throat.

The detective immediately froze before he slowly leaned his head back from the embrace he’s wrapped the magician with, turning wide blue eyes at the groaning bundle in his arms and clashing with hazy and clearly pained and disoriented indigo.

Unable to word anything out the first few seconds with waves of relief spreading through Shinichi’s stiff form, he sagged back down around the other, arms holding him in a carefully tight hold to avoid aggravating his wounds any more that they already are.

A comforting silence settled between them, Kaito returning the hug as much as he could without hurting himself by moving too much. Both of them just basking in each other’s presence, not wanting to break the moment just yet.

It was Shinichi who did.

“I’m sorry.” His memories are still a jumbled mess but Kaito supposed that he should have seen this one coming from Shinichi. The amount guilt from the words alone does not sit well with him. “If only I had picked you up at the airport in time then..”

No. It wasn’t his fault, really. “I don’t blame you Shinichi. The case was important and—”

“You don’t understand Kaito!” Cutting him off, the other male raked a frustrated hand through his otherwise neatly combed hair, which Kaito only now realized looked much like his own nest of messy strands from the abuse it must have gone through this whole time. “The guy we’ve been after, the serial killings all pointed towards the same thing and.. and after we finally traced the next victim..” Another choked sound escaped him and the magician suddenly had a horrible feeling where this was leading to.

He decided to shut the detective up before he could start getting all logical on him. He likes that part of Shinichi, —he’d even admit to having admired him because of it, that strong sense of justice— he really does. But sometimes, when it comes to times like this, letting him go on gives him more reason to blame himself for something and thus pulling him deeper into self-reproach.

“Shinichi.” He started, breathing through his mouth and noticing his companion shiver lightly in his arms. “It’s not your fault. I can’t remember much but I think I saw you before I black out. You were able to stop him before he was able to really get me right?”

“Yes, but—”

“The plane landed earlier than planned considering the anticipated heavy snow. Not your fault I was planning on surprising you at the precinct.” Kaito waited for more rebuttals from the detective and continued on when nothing came. “You came to stop him. That’s all that matters to me.”

Shinichi shook his head, a shaky breath slipping past chapped lips. “I could have lost you. I.. He was able to escape as I was checking you for serious injuries. I thought he got you for real when you disappeared from your room.” It ended with a soft whisper, traces of fear still evident.

He snuggled closer towards his roommate, content, more than willing to provide physical reassurance. “I’m fine. I’m here. I could only imagine that you caught him this time with a painful hit by that soccer ball of death of yours.” A simple statement that spoke volumes of how much faith he had on the other.

“Yes.” It seems that Shinichi understood perfectly well, the implications not lost to him with how he tightened his hold around the weakened magician. “Yes I did..”

The silence stretched on as the tension slowly left the detective.

“How did you even find me here Shin-chan?”

A fond chuckle as Shinichi propped his head over Kaito’s, rubbing his back soothingly, willingly sharing body heat. “Of course I’d find you. I’ve been chasing you for years now that you won’t be able to hide from me anymore, KID-san.”

Kaito pouted, curious, but smiling all the same. “That doesn’t answer my question the slightest bit oh great detective.”

Faint snicker. “To be honest? I’ve sort of had a feeling that I’d find you here. You’ve always been the sentimental type and this was the place we’ve first met so I just went with my instinct.”

“Really?” The magician let out an amused snort, knowing there was more to it that the detective isn’t telling but willing to let it go with how tired he was.

Shinichi lightly laughed, shaking his head. “Kaito?”

“Mmh?”

“Please just.. don’t do that again.”

Smiling from his position on the detective’s lap, Kaito hummed, not wanting to risk nodding his head as he shifted just the tiniest bit closer, enjoying the scent of pine and mint that was solely Shinichi. “Okay.”

“..and Kaito?”

He was starting to get sleepy again, only this time he felt safe and warm, being wrapped securely with Shinichi watching over him. He certainly could get used to this. “Yes?”

“Let’s get you back home.”

“Yeah.” Grin stretching wider, and with all the warmth he could muster, Kaito glanced up towards Shinichi as he was carefully lifted up into his arms. The first time the other had admitted it to be just that after the past year of Kaito moving in with him. “Home.”

And as the clocktower strike midnight, Shinichi gave the now slumbering magician a feather light kiss on his forehead, silently promising to himself to always treasure something so precious.

[retphienix]

Alright, it's about time I give this game a fair shake at things instead of just hating it from the bottom of my soul for an hour of gameplay over a decade ago.

Here’s the gist of the story.

FFT is quite possibly my favorite game. Most definitely my favorite FF game.

Many years ago I rarely purchased new games due to being a kid with no money, but a friend of my cousin had this game an I got a chance to play it (and FFX) for the first time when we visited once.

I hated it.

I ended up just playing FFX for the remainder of our visit, another game I don’t like too much.

This time around I’m doing things a little differently.

First off I’m older and more willing to accept a game for what it offers rather than what I demand it have due to expectations or namesake. Difficult in this case, but I promise to give the story it’s own room to grow.

Secondly I’m finishing the game regardless of anything so that I feel I get a truly fair shake at how all it’s features, story, and gameplay mechanics sit with me. (Not that I feel you have to beat a game to get a fair idea or opinion, but this is me judging for myself so that’s what I’m doing)

Third is that while I’m giving it a chance, I’m still going to complain about the things that bother me. The reason I’m playing is to see if it can change my mind or offer something I didn’t see before. I can stay open minded while still mentioning the things that urk’d me both 10 years prior and today.

Starting out you find that you are -

In ‘modern day non-descript-land’, I mean Ivalice that super fun place from FFT.

Not Ramza or anyone interesting from FFT

I quickly rectified that second point.

Neither of these are really negative on their own. Though the artstyle not being nearly as charming as FFT or interesting as it should be seeing as they did bother to use some nice details doesn’t help at all.

You’re introduced to a few interesting characters such as protagonist who isn’t Ramza but I’m calling Ramza from now on, Five-Head the girl, and shy bullied child.

In all truth, I don’t mind any of them so far.

Ramza hasn’t said or done anything to give him a character yet aside from caring for his brother.

Ritz (cracker) is loud and proud and inoffensive*.

And Mewt is... I already said all the characterization he’s been given.

They are all flat right now and I’m left to hope they expand from here. Unfair to say anything about them this early on because they’ve been given a grand total of 14 lines (split between them) to characterize themselves seeing as the wonderfully detailed spritework from FFT hasn’t popped up to give them characterization through animation.

*= She does offend in one way and that is by making the terrible artstyle PAINFULLY obvious. In FFT we had noseless characters whom I grew to love and find endearing. So far FFTA has upgraded the portraits by adding noses and by GIVING EVERYONE RIDICULOUSLY HUGE FOERHEADS. Everyone looks like eggs! I’m not a fan.

The first bit of gameplay we’re shown is a snowball fight and this ‘fight’ is a huge reason as to why I quit playing way back when.

It’s boring.

It’s dumb.

It doesn’t introduce gameplay efficiently or in an interesting way.

It doesn’t progress the story or push the characters strengths/weaknesses/traits or personalities.

It’s filler, as the start to their game.

You waste a few minutes of your life playing a small handful of rounds as you throw 1 damage snowballs at classmates and they do the same.

The only interesting thing I noticed was the lack of camera controls.

I will honest to god try my hardest not to do this often, but compare this to the first fight in FFT.

FFT has you start the game in a real engagement. The pre-fight intro was much more interesting with Olevia and carried urgency through the injured squire rushing through the door.

It got you interested in what the heck was going on immediately, and that was just the pre-fight. The fight itself was a REAL fight that had people dying and let you use a small array of moves to get a little bit of a handle on things while getting you interested in pushing further into the game by showcasing sweet abilities that you couldn’t do yet, but these clearly ‘end-game’ units could use.

In this one you throw snowballs. That’s the ONLY thing you can do. The pre-fight was silence followed by lining up to have a snowball fight, followed by one kid complaining and switching teams. No one does anything other than throw snowballs unless you count the end of the fight where someone throws a *gasp* snowball with a rock in it.

ANYWAY.

We finished the snowball fight, or rather it was interrupted by Mewt getting bullied, and we agree to join up after school to hang out. Mewt said he’s getting a sweet dnd handbook and Ramza invites him and Ritz over because it might cheer up my brother Doned (dumb name).

We do that, it’s a short visit.

Doned is a sickly character who feels like he exists to give Ramza depth. That feels cheap. Ignoring that he’s fine I guess. He’s just bored and wants some joy, which makes the premise of this game seem like a possibly outlet for him seeing as we’re about to be transported to a mystical land of possibility.

We look at the book, immediately say it must be magic despite it not showcasing anything magic to us. Our reasoning is literally that since we can’t read the language it must be magic, lucky coincidence.

Our guests leave the shortest visit ever and that night the book transforms the town of Ivalice into the continent of Ivalice (Neither Ivalice is thematically the same as the Ivalice from FFT so honestly I don’t care and wish it had a different name).

Entering this strange new world immediately throws us some curve balls.

It tells us that there are plenty of new races in the world. That’s kind of cool.

It tells us that there are Judges for every battle. THAT’S THE LAMEST THING EVER AND IS WHY I IMMEDIATELY STOPPED PLAYING AS A KID.

And it implies that it might be too scared to show death in this title compared to FFT seeing as this fight ends with the enemy knocked to his knees and TAKEN TO JAIL for breaking the rules. Lame.

Ignoring that and hoping for the best, we’re introduced to a moogle and dragged along to his clan which he lets us name as we will presumably be making all the leadership decisions regardless of any title we’re given.

Weird, but I like clan mentality things in games. Just.... I didn’t even become leader or anything and I’m naming them and undoubtedly leading them now.

Ok.

I chose the only name befitting Ramza and his misfit gang of do-gooders. Heretics, as we were in the Ivalice of old.

This is where I begin my new adventure.

I may end up mentioning these complaints way down the line but

1. I’ll also throw in that whenever a new location is discovered via plot reasons YOU LITERALLY CHOOSE WHERE IT EXISTS IN THE MAP. I don’t really like this. Like at all. If it’s meant to make me feel empowered in some way, or add thematically to SOMETHING it doesn’t feel right and it just makes the map look like a stupid mess to me that I’m supposed to fill in because the devs couldn’t figure out how to make a world.

2. Classes are separated among the various races. You can’t become every class. Each class is basically race exclusive. I really don’t like this and I don’t feel like explaining how limiting, arbitrary, and annoying this is.

[ladala99]

Spyro Reignited Countdown - The Legend of Spyro: A New Beginning (Console)

And here begins the age where Classic Spyro is no more, at least for many years to come. Collectathons and 3D Platformers went out of style, with Action games taking their place as the dominant video game genre. I still wonder how it happened that developers thought there was no demand for those genres - and it would be a while before they resurfaced. I even have a half-finished lament about the lack of new games in my preferred genres rotting in my Drafts, so the revival only happened in the last five or so years.

But anyway, Spyro, in a desperate attempt to stay relevant, changed genres entirely. The world was rebuilt from the ground up, and really the only similarities to previous games lay in the character names of Spyro and Sparx (and later Hunter), the fact that Spyro was purple and had multiple elements, and of course the entirety of Shadow Legacy.

Gameplay

It would be easier to say what stays the same than what changes, so I’ll do that.

Spyro’s Elemental Breaths are still mapped to the same button as they were in A Hero’s Tail. Which differs from the other games, but whatever. Charge, not being nearly as useful in this game, is given to the right shoulder button - matching the Season trilogy, but probably only by coincidence. Spyro also still double-jumps and glides like in AHT, with the same physics.

Mainly, though, the difference is in the level design and combat. Spyro has an independent health bar, with Sparx now just being an NPC and flashlight in certain cases. Spyro’s elemental breaths are mana-limited and upgradable, and he also has melee abilities.

A New Beginning is by far the easiest of the trilogy, to the point that it’s not the gameplay that’s fun, but the story. Enemies stay dead when you respawn, have AI that isn’t the smartest, and overall you can just melee everything dead if you want. I always found it a reliable strategy.

Additional Game Modes

There is one, actually: you fly a couple of times. It doesn’t add much to the gameplay, but it does add a little variety and I found these levels fun.

You fly around, dodging enemy attacks and you can shoot the enemies if you wish. The latter ability is much more useful in the first level than in the second, when you’re using all your energy to move quickly.

Collectables

Do not exist in this game. Gems are now EXP and health and mana restores. They aren’t gone for good, though!

Breath Abilities

We have four again, and this time they’re all combat-focused.

First we have the reliable Fire. It’s not the flashiest, or the most powerful, but it’ll get opponents off your tail. After upgraded, it will set small enemies on fire and send them running. The Ranged version of this is a standard fireball you shoot out.

Lightning is next. Notice how in previous games, Lightning tends to be the best one when it exists? It’s the case here, too. Not necessarily in a damage sense, but you can use it to throw your opponents around, especially off of cliffs. When you upgrade it, you can drag any opponent aside from bosses around. It makes certain levels (including the final one) trivial. I do not recall what the ranged ability does since the primary ability is so overpowered.

Ice comes after that. It slows enemies down and turns small enemies into snowballs. They cannot be used as cannonball snowballs in Dante’s Freezer, unfortunately. I never used this much.

The last is Earth, which is just a huge green blast of energy. It takes down enemies quickly, but also drains your mana quickly. Useful in a pinch for sure, but might get you into bigger trouble if your mana runs out. The ranged attack throws enemies in the air.

In theory, this system looks balanced. In practice, Lightning is overpowered and when you can’t abuse it, melee works perfectly well. But there is a lot of potential variety here and I’m sure my strategy isn’t the only one out there.

Bosses

There’s a bit of variety here.

The Ice King comes first, and he’s... certainly something. Not a hard something, but something. He can’t really hit you from afar, so you’re free to just use ranged attacks against him. If you know that, you’ll win without problems.

Stone Sentinel is, again, something. I really don’t know how to judge Action game bosses, sorry. I don’t play enough of them. Run around and hit him, I guess.

Steam is the hardest boss in the game. And I don’t even know why since nowadays I beat him no problem. Last time I played it, I went “alright, here’s the hard part. No, that was too easy, the hard part starts now. No? I guess... the boss fight is over?” I guess the strategy is to keep moving and lure him into the middle but immediately get off the tracks. Melee him when he hits a wall. But I guess figuring this out the first time is difficult, and he does move quickly.

Electric King is Ice King but easier. But hey, there’s two of these guys, just like in Shadow Legacy!

Cynder is unfortunately very cheeseable. Hint: if you die, the crystals around the arena respawn and Cynder’s health only goes up to the top of the current health bar (most bosses have multiple health bars). If you actually battle her without dying mid-fight, it’s pretty fun, but it’s way easier to just die after every healthbar and spam Earth Breath until you get to the semi-cutscene part of the fight.

Levels

As someone who isn’t an action fan, the fight-move-forward-fight-repeat level design doesn’t do much for me. There’s definitely some interesting arenas, but a lot of the most interesting ones are situated near cliffs. Which you can use to Lightning Breath enemies off of.

They’re pretty much the standard video game environments, but keeping to the realistic/gritty imaginings of them rather than pretty ones.

There’s some puzzles, but they’re pretty simple and limited to put-the-ball-where-the-ball-goes. Platforming is pretty much used in Convexity and that’s it.

I can’t say I can give it a fair judgement as far as Action games go, but as for games I like, the levels are pretty but not mechanically interesting.

Story

Is where this game excels. No, it’s not going to make you think deeply about life, but yes it is going to draw you in. Really, if you look at the story objectively, it’s very videogame-y. Three of the four elemental dragons have been captured by an evil dragon, and you must travel the lands themed to elements to save them, gaining elemental breaths as you go.

But the atmosphere is super well-done. The music, the voice acting, the color choices all come together into making this game feel serious. Spyro’s entered into a world where the good guys have already lost, and he doesn’t feel adequate for the job. It feels bleak. It feels bigger than you. The odds feel against you, even if the gameplay says otherwise.

And that’s what I love about these games.

And the twist that Cynder is not only a girl but corrupted to look older than she actually is. Spyro rescues her rather than letting her die. The world is bigger than you expected, as there’s a greater evil out there. You’re still not done.

Unique in the Series?

The flight levels are for sure. And the exact nature of the elemental breaths are unique (you won’t be seeing Lightning being nearly this powerful again).

Otherwise, though, the next game will build off of this one. It’s very different from what came before, but it sets the standard for what will come ahead, at least for a bit.

Conclusion

It’s not the same Spyro, but I still enjoy this game. Parts of my teenhood were defined by making up stories using the Legend of Spyro world as a backdrop, or at least heavy inspiration. I tended to make it take place in the Classic universe, but the feel and the mechanics were definitely taken directly from this game and the next.

[thecoroutfitters]

Written by R. Ann Parris on The Prepper Journal.

At its most basic, growing food doesn’t take much. At home it can be accomplished with some tin cans and plastic bottles, maybe some storage totes or buckets or drawers that were salvaged for free, and seeds or starts. When we’re working on that scale our hands and a pencil are sufficient.

//

Most of the time, though, we expand beyond small and tiny containers. Even with some small, modest beds, there are a few tools like hooked three-prong hand cultivators or a small spade that come in handy. When we’re dealing with numerous beds and a larger plot, we want to step up again. If our food production deals with shrubs, brambles and trees, we need a few more things yet.

To some degree, growing style largely dictates what is a must-have item and what can be set aside. Our bodies and health dictate more – as we get older or accumulate injuries, we may need more mechanical help or to spend less time crouched and thus more time with a long-handled tool of some kind. However, for veggie-veggies – not the large-scale calorie staple and protein staple crops like grinding corn, wheat, barley, beans, lentils, and field peas – there are some standards that will apply for most gardeners.

The Underdog

When I see articles about garden tools for beginners, upgrades for old hats, and reviews on the best contraptions to hit the market, there’s one thing that never seems to make it on the pages: Twine.

Maybe the big guys don’t need it. I sure use a fair bit of twine, string and cord in my gardens, though. I also use a fair bit while I’m air layering. Okay, in truth, I use some, and I also use strips of ruined clothing.

We need something to be tying up plants with, though, regularly, and I regularly use cord for parts of my trellises. There are alternatives, like using netting or light-gauge fencing. Cultivar selection for our plants might also reduce or eliminate trellis needs.

Regularly, though, we need to support something, from a seedling tree that needs staked to hanging planters or containers from and above porch railings.

Some decent twine that doesn’t break as we tie the knot and doesn’t rot in a single season will save us a lot of not-nice words. In the long run, it’s worth the money.

It’s also one of those things that really ought to just wander around the garden and outside with us, right there with a handy pair of pliers, pruners, and our pocketknife.

Machines

Stone me now; there’s not the first Kubota, Deere, Gator, or Kioti on my list. Tractors revolutionized the way we farm, made our way of life possible, and made it possible for the human population worldwide to snowball. The thing is, most of us don’t need them.

Sure, a riding mower or an ATV – especially with tow-behind cultivators, furrowers, spreaders or even just trailers – make life a lot easier. As we start cultivating significant properties, move into producing our own staple crops or producing grass hay and grains for livestock, when we start cutting grass straw, we should look in that direction. Until then … they need fuels, they need maintenance, and for the most part they’re a convenience. With the exception of folks who can’t push or pull physically, they’re not necessary for a veggie garden, even a big one.

Tillers/Powered Cultivators might be a must-have or might be a convenience. It depends on our bodies, growing scheme, and the scale of growing. There are some smaller versions where the power head cross-purposes with other tools like weed-eaters, overhead saws, and the tiller, and that’s a right handy tool to consider. Another option would be either electric tillers that can be powered from a running vehicle or charged from a solar battery bank. Because diesel stores so well, diesel-powered machines – or the vehicle that’s going to be used as a generator – might appeal to others despite the upfront costs.

Wood Chipper-Shredders do make my list as a must-have garden item when we get serious about production. So long as we have plenty of junk trees, firewood trimmings, or fruit trees and brambles to feed through them, anyway.

Mulch is an enormous aid in gardening. It saves labor in weeding, prevents soil compaction and erosion, and limits evaporation of rain and irrigation water. While some types of mulch-bed growing creates an alkaline environment that’s tougher on acid-loving domestic veggies and berries, for the most part we can mitigate the pH of our gardens.

Being able to convert bamboo, privet (pre-seed), and tree prunings from living specimens and firewood or construction into mulch is too valuable to ignore that particular machine.

On the other hand, if we’re shy on trees but have the land space, there’s nothing wrong with switching that chipper-shredder for a weed-eater that’s been modified into an electric, gas or diesel powered scythe. It’ll allow us to relatively quickly cut and lay out straw we can use for garden mulch.

Standard Manual Garden Tools

By and large, once we have beds or plots eked out of the ground with either a tiller or a sod cutter, and have dedicated ourselves to maintaining them, getting them seeded with weed-choking cover crops or heavily mulched, we don’t need a whole lot to maintain gardens.

Still, there are some tools that are right handy.

The short list for manual tools for a garden would really be a round-point digging shovel and-or a trenching shovel, a small garden trowel, a hay rake or flat-tined garden rake for leveling and aerating soil or dragging rows for seeds and transplants, a hoe, and in many cases a cultivator of some kind – a weasel, tiller, broad fork, or similar.

A small three-prong cultivator for one-handed or a long-handled, two-handed version can make weeds a much simpler task, and be used for spacing out seed rows.

A garden fork rates pretty highly as well (like a hay fork but with flat, wide tines) since it can be used as a secondary cultivator following a shovel or furrowing plow

Garden by garden, a leaf rake, square-point (transfer, moving) shovel, and both a pointed and a flat-square hoe rate really highly as well.

With them we can turn beds, collect and distribute chipped or leaf mulch and compost, dig in-situ composting trenches and holes, break up soil, level beds and rows, build up triangular and flattened-top mounded rows and beds, and even use them to create seed furrows and cover our beds again.

Mallets

They’re not as ignored and maligned as string, because I don’t use them or see them used quite as much, but I spend a lot of time hammering things. Mallets deserve a little credit there.

I hammer stakes for supporting row covers and baby trees, bird netting, and to keep things from digging under fences. I hammer in supports for new trellises and arbors. I pound in stakes and string line for rows and to mark expansions or areas I want left alone. I tap CMU block into place. I infrequently use nails or stakes to assemble trellises or bounded beds (usually I’m a fan of a screw and a drill for those).

Could I do it with a plumber’s wrench, carpenter’s hammer, or my pruners? Usually. I’d work harder and longer though.

Sometimes the right tool, right at hand, is worth it. Mallets are one of those tools for me, and the shorty 2-3# mallets with a flat square side are one of them for me.

If a garden area is small, and there’s a lot of pre-fab without as much annual assembly season-by-season, a mallet would go down in usefulness.

Power Tools

Having busted on energy draws while discussing machines, I’m going to contradict myself. There are two things that get reached for constantly, especially at the beginning of the growing season, the beginning and early in warm-tender crop seasons, harvest seasons, row-cover seasons, and bed-down-the-garden seasons.

They are my trusty-dusty little drill, and my trusty-dusty little saws-all.

When I say little, I mean that.

As with CCW firearms and EDC/GHB kits, when things are big, bulky and heavy, we don’t carry them all the time. In this case, that means that things get put off or I spend time making round trips to the vehicle.

With lighter, compact tools, they can sit in their bags with a variety of tips and blades, both of them inside a bucket with some string, sturdy pruners, a small hand cultivator, a mini hoe, and a hooked knife. I snag my bucket whenever I’m working in the yard, and whatever I need, it’s right there.

Must-Have’s for the Garden

I have a friend who managed in excess of three acres of just vegetable and fruit production without any fossil-fuel or battery-powered assistance. She does use a “work pig” and her birds, sheep and goats to help her, but the bulk of what she does is by manual labor. It’s possible. It’s not easy, it takes time – especially with livestock – but it’s possible.

I consider it telling that with few exceptions for “block” crops like corn and peas, she doesn’t grow in conventional rows or big plots. She grows in beds, by curving blocks and lines that follow her land’s fairly minor contours. It’s too much work to eke out the space, initially and every year after thaw, to use conventional methods.

It’s also too much work to leave bare earth. The work isn’t just the weed maintenance, but also the water hauling and the amount of time that has to be dedicated to plant health. So she mulches. Her mulches melt away in 12-24 month cycle, but the labor of creating and spreading them works out to be less than fighting more weeds and against harder soil and more evaporation.

If we’re planning to live a power-free or low-power-draw “sustainable” and “self-sufficient” life without the noise or fuels of machines, we might want to consider some of the alternative growing methods and ease-of-gardening methods, just as she does.

Our garden “must-have” tools are going to change depending on those methods.

It’s also going to depend on space. If we have smaller gardens, we can get away with fewer and less-specialized tools. At a market or large family scale conventional garden plot, some mechanization is going to be right on the borderline of a must-have.

Aging and broken bodies may also have to rely on some method that will help them, be it a growing style or machines. That will change the tools they reach for significantly.

The number-one “must” for gardening is to get started.

There are a lot of learning curves specific even to one section of a small yard. No book is going to have every answer, and by the time we’re troubleshooting, we’re already behind the curve. Hard times or a disaster is a terrible time to discover our microclimates, niche pests and diseases, and soil types.

Once we get started, our personal “must have” list will refine itself.  We’ll want backups of what we use most. We may expand to the full array of shovel and hoe and rake types, or we may stick with a few subtly different styles. Over time, we may find that it ebbs and flows.

We can start small and add a few things as budgets open up, working toward those items that multipurpose or have the most value for our lives first, then adding on the things that will allow us to expand and be more efficient. Knowing some of the rec’s and the priorities for them from other growers may help with that, either getting started or expanding.

The post Prepper Must-Haves – Garden Tools appeared first on The Prepper Journal.

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[fairycosmos]

if i want to be sad/depressed right now which is sorta odd but idc but do i let myself get into the state which is addictive its a love hate thing bc its the only thing that keeps me company ig. You think i should let myself do what it wants to do rn or fight it and just not do literally anything and feel numb YES THIS PROBABLY DOESNT MAKE PERFECT SENSE BUT IVE HAD NO SLEEP BUT I STILL FEEL I NEED ADVICE ON THIS

first of all, you need to get some rest when you can because your mind is just going to keep going round in circles if you don't. you'll feel at least a little better after you wake up, i promise. second of all, i think a lot of people can relate to finding comfort in their own sadness/depression, it's actually a pretty common problem. but that really doesn't mean you should just allow it to continue, you know? there's a balance that you need to find, because you deserve a lot more than just what you're giving yourself right now. there are other things way to keep yourself company, there are other ways to feel like you're not alone. i know this isn't what you want to hear and you probably won't do it until you feel 100% ready to, but i'd really recommend talking to someone about this if you haven't already and if it's an option for you. even if you just start off with a family member or a trusted friend, and then move on to a professional such as a therapist or a counselor in time. it seems to me like you're using your own sadness as a coping mechanism because it's what you're used to, it's your comfort zone - but it really doesn't have to be, not if you work at it and make the conscious effort to change that mindset through proper techniques such as consistent therapy, learning healthier coping mechanisms etc. you genuinely have a lot more options than your brain is leading you to believe. this isn't a hopeless situation and there is a way through it, seriously. you just have to force yourself to take that first step, even if your mind is telling you not to. i get that it's a lot easier said than done, but when it comes down to it, you're really not going to feel like this for the rest of your life. every negative emotion and thought you have is temporary, even if it feels so real and heavy and permanent. you're only human, and it's okay to not know what to do next and to be confused and afraid and upset. just take it one day at a time, and deal with it as it comes.anyway, the point i'm trying to make is that you are the only person that can bring yourself back from the brink of this. you have a certain amount of control over the situation, and yeah there are some aspects of it that are out of your hands but you can still do what's right for you and speak to somebody. i'm not saying it's instantly going to make things better or anything, but it's honestly a good place to start. even if you can't see a doctor, there are separate mental health organizations that you can get in touch with that will offer you support and advice. you're clearly in a lot of pain and emotional turmoil right now, and i'm really sorry that you're dealing with it because i know it's not easy, but you're a lot stronger than you think you are and you will get through it, even if it feels impossible. i know it all sounds like such bullshit, but it's not. when it comes to mental health, i think a lot of people don't take it as seriously as their physical health but it's really just as important, and if you need help then you shouldn't prevent yourself from getting it. don't hold yourself back for no reason, make yourself a priority in your own life. i'm going to leave a few links that might help you in the meanwhile, but i hope you feel better soon and i hope you know that you're not alone. i'm always here if you need to talk, just hmu :)https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/tech-support/201403/5-powerful-strategies-get-you-out-ruthttps://www.everydayhealth.com/hs/major-depression/ask-for-help/https://lonerwolf.com/highly-sensitive-people-emotional-snowballing/http://www.theredheadriter.com/2012/04/2-ways-to-be-calm-and-peaceful-holding-it-together-in-the-midst-of-turmoil/http://www.michaelgregoryii.com/2014/12/escape-comfort-depression/