#anyway i love reading your and everyone's thoughts don't be afraid to say random shit that isn't a heartfelt TED talk!!!

[cvnt4him]

Katsuki has a crush<33

...........................................

Hey babe, quick pow-wow, so I don't really give warnings like I should especially when writing smut i js get lazy 💀, however this is mainly a self insert and will have a black reader n chubby reader so if that isnt you, or if you don't like it leave quietly or loudly idc. Anyways kisses to all, enjoy<3🎗️

...........................................

You had always had a love hate relationship with bakugou katsuki.

He would be mean asf, pinching your thighs, poking fun at your tummy and the way it looked in your school uniforms.

But when he'd seen you for the first time in your pyjamas, pink crop top covering your braless bossom, short shorts riding up your ass in such a delicious way, he couldn't take his eyes off of you.

You were just coming down for a snack as he was in the common area with kirishima, sero, denki, and iida, they all glanced over to you being caught off guard by your yawn.

You walked to the fridge grabbing something random and a soda, before stopping to look at the group of boys who hadn't taken their eyes off of you.

"...what?" You asked with an attitude laced in your honey-like voice.

You walked back up the stairs heading to your dorm, as the boys ended up snickering and saying random things falling into deaf ears.

Bakugou just couldn't take his eyes off of you, he didn't want to admit it, but he hated seeing you go yet loved to watch you leave, your ass looking so appetizing in those fluffy pink shorts, the way you seemed annoyed by their stares only made him want to watch you more.

And boy did he, it's like he couldn't take his eyes off of you that night, during school hours he'd watch you from across the room, you sat far away from him, next to the door as he sat next to the windows, he literally was looking at you from across the whole entire damn room, blocking out the numerous of heads that blocked your pretty little face.

Your pretty glossed lips in such a pouty look, you finally glanced over to him with a raised brow and a slight buck of your head, signaling for 'what the fuck are you looking at bro?'

He knew it, he instantly looked away with a growl and a flushed expression. Shit he got caught staring at you.. you'd never let him live this down. You were just as petty as him.

After catching him stare at you, a smile grew onto your face, how long had he been watching you?

For a long time. Like 'every second of every day' long time.

Some time passed since you caught him staring at you that day, his remarks toward you had become less.. mean? He kept that loser nickname he gave you tho, "chubs" it didn't really hurt your feelings about def made you feel some type of way.

Like mf are you fr? But anyways you hadn't taken it to heart, bakugou wasn't a nice guy, you knew that. So why has he been treating you rather differently?

You two were paired together for a training group, you had tucked your long UA jacket into your bra making it look like a crop top, the stretch marks showed in your belly as you were reading yourself for the training you two were about to do, bakugou trains hard, real hard his punches hurt like shit n he doesn't go easy on anyone. His hands are fr rated E for everyone.

So as you got into your fighting stance he just looked at you. Like w a dumb face fr, you looked around confused seeing as everyone else had started fighting, so why the hell hadn't he hit you, bakugou always hit first he thought it was better. So why wasn't he fighting you?

Hell even he didn't know his damn self, why didn't he move? Lunge at you? Throw explosions your way, anything?

"are you gonna hit me or...??" You say trailing off at the end of your sentence looking around still confused asf.

"what, afraid to throw the first punch, chubs?" He scoffed and barked back at you quickly before, finally, lunging at you at full force.

It had caught you off guard but despite your weight, you were a good fighter, and damn good with your quirk.

After training you grabbed your bag and left instantly not waiting on him or anyone else bc why would you?

Bakugou just watched you leave, his eyes rolling then glancing down to his bag before instantly finding themselves right back in you and your figure, his volcanic red eye slowly trailing down to your ass, he hadn't even noticed it but he bit his lip as a smirk found it's way onto his face.

Damn you really did look good, but just as he was about to admit it to himself, izuku got in his way and it looked like he was looking at his dick, bakugou instantly looked up looking at the freckled boys face with disgust as he scoffed and grabbed his back before walking past the guy.

"hi!- uh-.. KACCHAN?!!!"

Katsuki was just in bed, scrolling through his phone at ab 6:30 pm, getting ready for bedtime (yk this mf got one) when he came across a poll online, his birthday had just passed a few months ago n still his fans are posting him happy birthdays n shit n one specific post caught his eye, it was a popularity poll which he had won, again.

Katsuki plugged his phone up w a smile, genuinely laughing to himself at how he keeps winning these things, he sighs one last time before his thoughts randomly crossed to you.

Damn, you looked good covered in sweat, he thought.

Wait what?!

No, ew.. where did THAT come from??? He does NOT, think of you like that. He thinks you're weird, gross.. ugly.. well. Not ugly persè, just slightly unattractive, well, noo.. just. Barely attractive. Yeah. That works.

But damn did your ass look good when you walked away.

Wait the fuck? Why had he been having such a weird thoughts about.. you?? You weren't all that great?

I mean you looked good kinda, you had nice eyes... He guesses, your hair always managed to look nice even when it looked bad, it still looked somewhat nice.

Bakugou sighed in frustration, just why couldn't he get you out of his head???

Then it dawned on him like a train crash.

...

Fuck.., he liked you.

N not js like 'ah, yeah, your cool.' type shit. no, he like ACTUALLY dead ass liked you.

Fuck. This was gonna make things complicated, someone as emotionally constipated as him liking someone couldn't end well, even he himself knew that. He never truly had enough love in his heart for anyone, he had a dream, a goal, and that was to become the number one hero and that's it.

He didn't have time for useless things like love or relationships. Especially not with the likes of you.

At least that's what he kept telling himself whenever he actually managed to hold a good, non arguing, unjudgemental, genuine conversation.

God, the way you actually spoke to him like he was a human being and not some pest you couldn't get rid of, like before. The way you held great eye contact and stared directly at him with no hatred filling them, the way you smiled and he felt the urge to smile back. And he did, that's what took you both by surprise, he actually smiled warmly at you, it left a warm feeling in you.

His smile was actually quite good looking on him, you never had a problem with admitting bakugou katsuki was an attractive man, it's just his attitude that was ugly. With you being pretty chubby or js blatantly fat in other people's eyes you never had a lot of options due to people judging you by your body and not your personality, believe it or not, katsuki was one of the only people to never actually talk about your body besides calling you chubs, and whenever mineta called you ome of the ugliest girls there, die to your weight, he quickly shut that shit down.

Given how people treat you, that truly is the way you treat others, you try to see people for more than just a pretty face, so whenever anyone talked to you, given everyone in your class is at least a little bit attractive, whether you had a bird head and a sexy body, (tokoyami) or had the cutest little freckles, you'd never let that get into your head, being pretty will only get people so far, so you always tried to look inward with people who considered themselves your friend in any way.

You had admiration for katsuki, sure, but you never liked him, you thought he was annoying, brass, hella obnoxious, and conceited.

So when he came to you, holding a good genuine conversation, not looking away from you, never once glancing down at your boobs or body in general, and actually smiled at you, you were genuinely in utter complete shock.

Had he always been this pretty?

"..so.. do you, I don't know... Maybe wanna come to my dorm..? Or, whatever.."

You assumed he had a hard time saying that given the amounts of pauses in his sentence and the way he looked down, hands finding themself in his pockets so they didn't absentmindedly fiddle with themselves and he ended up looking like a dork, like some green haired freckled face loser he knew.

You scoffed at this thinking he was teasing you or trying to make a joke in some way.

"Yeah, because you want to actually hang out with me, sure, when pigs fly, bakugou katsuki."

You snort, as you argued back to a confused, wide eyed, flushed faced bakugou and put your bag on your shoulder. What? Had you really just rejected him? He wasn't even asking you out on like.. a 'date', date. He just wanted to spend time with you.. and, do face masks and play Roblox and bully people and binge watch your fav show and fall asleep in each other's arms as he kissed your forehead?

Was that really too much to ask?

He was pissed, not because you rejected him, not really, more so because he knows you think he's being a dick right now but he's not, hes being genuine and honest. He wants to hang out with you, willingly with no strings up his sleeves to find a way and poke fun at you.

That couldn't be so hard to believe, could it?

"I'm serious, why would I joke about something like that? You make it sound like I'm gonna push you out the nearest window if we just so happened to walk by one together."

He barked back, quick to defend himself and grill you.

You roll your way trying to walk past him as he pushes you by the shoulder making you bounce back, you scoff and try again as he then pushes you against your desk closing you in so now you were basically sitting atop of it.

"what the hell."

Was that left your mouth before he gently captured your lips taking you completely by surprise, not just by the kiss, but by the fact of how gentle he was with you, the way his hand moves up to your shoulder then finding it's way in the back of your neck, pushing you deeper into the kiss.

He pulled away slowly as he just stared down at you saying nothing with a blank face. You were still in shock, your eyes never closed during the previous kiss, but when he kissed you again you felt the random urge to actually kiss him back, and you did, you kissed him, hard.

Grabbing him by his broad shoulders, causing him to pick you up by your thighs, you squeak in intentionally, the way he held you with no problem got to you, it made you feel some kind of way.

He held you with a firm grip, the grip so tight it might've bruised you thighs as they wrapped around his tiny waist, he smirked in the kiss, swiping his tongue at you bottom lip asking for entry to your mouth, and once you granted him access there was no stopping him, he was like an animal that had been held back the entire time.

He slammed you hard against a wall and shoved his tongue in your mouth, licking and dancing with your own muscle as he groaned into the kiss, he pulled away from the sloppy spit filled kiss to attack your neck and put hickeys all over it, nipping lightly at your skin causing you to bite your lip with a smile.

Damn, he wanted you bad and you could tell. He was acting like a damn animal waiting to be met loose.

One of his hands eventually started wandering up and down your body, grabbing and squeezing every bit of your skin he could, nails digging deeply into the flesh of your thighs causing crescent moons to form from how hard they were gripped into you, you winced lightly as he never let up on what he was doing it's like he was solely focused on doing one thing and that was getting you undressed.

He quickly unbuttoned your top before throwing it off of you, your black lacey bra looking so good on your brown skin, the way it held your boobs up made you look so damn sexy to him, he couldn't stop grinding his hard on right against you, a deep moan leaving your bitten lips, that went straight to his ego.

Your hands scratched and pulled at his hair in the most delicious, mind numbing way, the way you edged him on, telling him to keep going and keep touching you like that really got him going, all he wanted to do was fuck you right then and there, but unfortunately you were interrupted.

By nine other than the freckled dufus himself. oh and that four-eyed dork.

You both instantly shit your eyes in the direction of the door opening, neither you tried hiding the both of you just simply looking annoyed, bakugou more than you.

"and I- whUAH!! K- KACCHAN?!"

" huh-! WHAT ARE YOU TWO REPROBATES DOING?!"

The room was now unfortunately filled with iida yelling at the two of you on how you should respect school property, and shouldn't be fondling each other and attempting to do sexual things outside of your bedrooms, and deku was shoving out a ramble if 'im sorry's and shit. It was all annoying you so you simply buttoned your shirt back and walked away

Bakugou groaned at watching you leave, iida yelling at you questioning where you were going, you rolled your eyes and offered bakugou a slight smile, winking and telling him to text you before walking out.

Everything that was still being said by the two boys that had crashed you party had again falken on deaf ears, he was too focused on you and the way you winked at him, the fact you'd actually let him do whatever he wanted to you while you were against the wall.

He scoffed before grabbing his bag, you'd better believe you were getting that text tonight.

" ---, at least tell me you two degenerates are being safe, we cannot have a baby popping out, it'll be bad for your reputation, the schools, and everyone's around you both!"

Was the last thing bakugou heard before groaning and walking out, still being followed by an overly obsessed iida and a still profusely apologizing deku.

God the things you get him roped into.

..............................................

AN: I love him sm

[kirarifutari]

enhypen as fast food workers (enhypen ot7.)

GENRE .. !? enhypen ot7 headcanons i guess... pureee crack, comedy

WARNINGS .. !? not proof read, swearing, for shits and giggles don't take anything to heart lol

WC ..?! approx 852

NOTES.. ?! okay pls blame @dazed-hee for putting this thought into my head and helping me w this... i cannot believe i sat my ass down and wrote this,, yes i just got off work ... anyway i hope u enjoy this goofy little piece pls like + reblog to support!!

heeseung

actually does his job properly LOLLL

he's so good at it asw he is never ever stressed 😭😭 he never complains either he just gets shit done ?? like you'll be on shift w him and magically you don't have to do anything ever bc somehow he has it under control…?

all the customers love him asw LMAO he's the type to remember regulars 🙏

god sent everyone needs a heeseung to work with, he's even nice to the rude customers but is not afraid to be a little passive aggressive bitch 🤧

he never talks badly about anyone so no one ever shit talks him?? but if you ask him ab drama he'd be like “not naming any names but…” 😭

jay

he is exactly like heeseung except when is jay ever NOT stressed

he is internally crying every five seconds over something and every time a customer complains about something you can see the light in his eyes die little by little 💀💀

he doesn't even care what anyone else is doing he's just so caught up in doing his job he doesn't realise that he's doing everything himself…  more utc!

if you catch him on a good day tho you can hear him make fun of customer orders 😭 “who the fuck orders 3 hamburgers past the age of three years old…”

let's you do whatever you want bc hes too busy dealing w the emerging grey hairs 🙏

jake

the best person to work your shift w for a good time hands downnn

he's so funny he will make you cackle every five seconds,, you'll be taking a drive thru order and you'd be trying so fucking hard not to laugh into the mic 😭 he will fr start SINGING in ur ear goodbye

super friendly w customers and will literally start a conversation ab the most random things ?? “bro did you just order this family box?? you eating that yourself? that's crazy, mad respect” 💀

dawg does everything all at once, making burgers, taking orders, handing out food, changing the bins ??? yet somehow he's the one goofing off the most ? 

sunghoon

doesn't know how he landed the job tbh… everyone expected him to be unemployed the rest of his life 🔥

HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO COUNT CHANGE W CASH 😭 bro tries his hardest but is always fumbling around fr,, our maths legend

the type to be like “hm? i can't hear you” “what did you say? “yeah just gimme a minute” he is TOO CHILL he's so unserious ab this job he clocks on and does nothing half the time 🙏 he'll say he'll do what you ask him too but... you both know he won't xoxox

somehow he's still one of the managers favourites and gets good shifts every week… 

if a customer yells at him he'd be like “yeah give me a second” and then just gets someone else to deal with it LMFAO 💀

sunoo

THE BIGGEST SHIT TALKER having a shift w him is so good, he somehow knows everything that's going on w everyone ??? fills you in w all the gossip fr.

he's rly bubbly w all the nice customers and is one of the nicer employees to work with but if ur on his bad side … 💀💀💀

like if you annoy him as a customer he will hand you order wordlessly and look you up and down HE DOESNT CAREEE BROOO 😭

if anyone ever blames him for doing something wrong on shift he literally will just be like “that wasn't me tho 😄😄” biggest liar and everyone knows it but no one cares cus we all love him 🫶

sunoo will definitely be the type to buy you food on his break or give you free stuff when you clock off 😭

jungwon

would be the biggest gas lighter LMFAO

“oh you ordered a double big mac and not a regular? yeah on our register it's gone through as regular so i don't know what you want me to do, you can pay for another one tho!” 💀💀💀💀

bro gives so much sass to rude customers he does NOT gaf, he does it all w a smile on his face too like “sorry about that but we can't do anything to fix it 😊” 

he’d be so chill w his co workers asw, he would really care if everyone's messing around but somehow w him on shift everything goes oddly smoothly… 

working w him is so fucking funny cus he will never take no for an answer w a customer he will keep pushing until they LEAVE 😭

niki

LMFAOOO okay this kid fucking hates his job LOL

will spit in a customers drink because he can 🙏 he will not take shit from anyone and he knows no one will fire him bc they're understaffed 😚

plays the best music and always has kitchen speaker aux !!!

if you ask him to remake a burger or help you with something he'll either give you a blank stare or a “no, i won't.” and then do it for you anyway 👊👊 he is such a little menace but he doesn't care 

w annoying ass customers he will literally start arguing w them STOP

would go viral on tiktok cus some customer was filming him being rude but everyone would be siding w him bc niki is always in the right godbless.

[crimeronan]

re: your empathy posts. As someone who probably has higher than normal empathy (I used to ask people around me how they deal with sympathetic distress in common situations that occur in a job and only got blank stares) you're so valid!! The lionizing of this random subconscious process called empathy is so useless! It says nothing about the person and their values! As your other commenters suggested, people disparaging you may just be trying to boost their own shaky feelings about how their own emotional stability is deeply tied to their people-pleasing tendencies.

If anything, I think learning to function "normally" in society with "empathy" makes you more messed up. I understand this person's distress. I acknowledge it, and know how my actions will make it worse. I make them feel worse anyway, because that's the organizationally approved behavior, causing more pain for both them and myself. All the while I must behave as if I am cheerful and unbothered. Internalizing that hurting others and yourself to achieve your goals is Fine is necessary in order to stay sane. This is counter to everything people say they believe, so lying also has to become a virtue.

Buying kindness from the store seems like a really kind thing to do tbh. I am passing you on the street as I am schlupping over to pick up some callousness.

this last sentence made me giggle a lot. but YEAH!! a lot of this is spot-on to stuff i've been thinking about lately. like, "normal" empathy levels seem to be socially defined as "you care about people and want to help them, but you don't care so much that you'll harm yourself in pursuit of that" and it's all just..... i dunno. so much pathologizing of how we think and feel and whether we're Human (TM) about stuff. it's all so Weird

like..... i keep thinking that my lack of empathy gives me certain advantages in social situations. but in a similar vein to the ppl worried about sounding like tiktok empaths for being hyperempathetic, i worry that this makes me sound like an alpha male influencer writing youtube essays about why emotions make you weak, or whatever.

it's not that emotions make people weak or that having less empathy makes me like, a Cold Logical Calculating Math-Loving Strategist. i'm a writer who focuses solely on character-driven stuff, u probably wouldn't expect that from a stereotypically sociopathic person. part of why i LIKE writing character-driven stuff so much is BECAUSE i've had to actively teach myself how other people think, how they feel, how they struggle, etc

a lack of empathy means i can choose not to get invested in other people's feelings or lives, i don't feel guilty for emotionally disconnecting, i'm not afraid of being disliked. but i still know how to act like a decent human being. there's that one post about how stupid it is not to realize being nice gets people to be nice back, and fuckin. YEAH!! it's astonishing to me to read about cases of """clinical sociopaths""" (who are just people who didn't get the 'pretend you give a shit, moron' memo) manipulating and gaslighting people and whatnot. everyone in the comments will always be like "ooo so scary... they didn't feel bad at ALL... so terrifying that people who don't feel guilt exist..." and i'm like.

IS GUILT THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS YOU FROM COMMITTING ATROCITIES???

BLOWS MY MIND. IT'S LIKE..... THE LEFTIST EQUIVALENT OF SAYING EVERYONE WOULD BE MURDERERS IF THEY WERENT SCARED OF GOD. LIKE. YOU ONLY AVOID DOING BAD STUFF BC IT MAKES YOU FEEL BAD??????

good LORD. at least having no empathy means i've had to grow my principles organically. oh my GOD.

anyway what brought these thoughts up today was that i was thinking about gansey and luz noceda, since theyre extremely similar characters & on my All Time Faves list. and i've said this before but the things i love about them (the kindness, self-sacrificing shit, anxiety, etc) are things i don't see in myself. but Wish I Did. like i wish i was kinder on the inside than i am.

but i know that i admire ppl with luz and gansey traits both in fiction and in real life. so i simply just..... emulate the luz and gansey actions. not always successfully, esp because i have a temper and very little patience, but like. i try to be kind where i can bc i wish i was someone who tries to be kind when they can. so i'm just going to be. u know??

[lewis-winters]

tumblr nuked my answer to your ask @ronsparky ANYWAY--

9. worst part of canon

I've talked about this at length here, here, here, here, and here!

and I had another post about why I don't like the tonal shift between ep.9 and ep. 10 of bob but I can't find it so I'll get back to you on that!!

but yeah. I'm still salty about the Augusta Chiwy thing. like. it's like the BoB writers didn't even try 🙄🙄🙄 oops, maybe they didn't. I mean, they were already operating on the logic that if Stephen Ambrose didn't bother to exercise proper historical research, why should they? 🙄🙄🙄

10. worst part of fanon

because fanfiction is the medium in which I interact the most with fandom, the ills of it are the ones I encounter the most. some of ya'll don't know proper characterization if it bit you in the ass. it's like. did we even watch the same show? each one has 10 episodes each!! how could you POSSIBLY get any of this wrong????

sometimes, you read a fic, and already you can tell the author has an agenda just by how terribly wrong a fic is. they villainize random boys so much to make others look better. the amount of times I go "he would NOT say that!" is infinity.

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

ensemble fics with stupid grp of friends level shenanigans. exploration of platonic relationships fics (though there are a few of these already that I really like, I want more). queer platonic relationships. POC OCs; asexual, aromantic, lesbian, and trans OCs. there are a few already that I very much like, I know this. I have a trans OC myself. idc. I want more.

.......... honestly sometimes I get the feeling that some hbo war writers are afraid to make aroace OCs, trans OCs or POC OCs bc they themselves are cis, allosexual/alloromantic, or white and therefore they might get it wrong. to which I say banish the thought and EXPLORE, damnit.

also like. let's trans some genders. I've said this before. but I think. we should be allowed!! to trans some dead american soldier's genders. more transmasc paratroopers!! more transmasc marines!! c'mon now.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

lewis nixon's alcoholism. my dude. apart from dick winters, EVERYBODY was an alcoholic, ok? harry welsh had to be dragged out of enemy fire bc he was passed out drunk in the middle of the road. they were ALL alcoholic. ALL of them.

I'm not saying stop exploring lewis nixon as an alcoholic, oh no. I love that shit. I'm saying start exploring EVERYONE ELSE as an alcoholic. could be fun!

[apuff]

@sagaofa-dying-star thanks for the tag!!! rewriting the post because it's long asf

 Do you have freckles?  everyone has a little freckles. but i dont have too many

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it?  i only drink southern style sweet tea bc we never have any good hot tea around

What was the last song you listened to?  MAMA APPARENTLY?? i was on that black parade grind i guess

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side?  stomach usually but sometimes i go for the recovery position

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?  yes

Do you prefer drawing or writing?  probably drawing but i like writing too

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with?  i have 6 blankets in my bed and it's not enough

What’s your favorite band/artist?  ahem. aheem. hehe. my chemical romance

When is your birthday?  am i not supposed to say this for internet safety-? anyways its in december

How tall are you?  5'2 is on my id but my family says im taller than that

What color are your eyes?  green 😏😏i have the rarest eye color 😏😏😏

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now?  two of my online friends one of my irl friends one of my mutuals and one person i don't even like but probably really needs it

Fears?  im afraid of people i love dying, being in trouble, being late, and tape measures.

What’s your favorite color?  green BUT I LIKE ALL OF THEM

What’s your favorite season?  I LIKE ALL OF THEM

Want any tattoos? What of?  i kinda want some of those semi permanent ones that last for a few months of just random shit like band members and memes actually maybe i just want to draw on myself in sharpie

Want any piercings? Where?  i just want normal ear piercings :<

Who is the last person you texted?  my ex- camp roommate

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends?  yes me and my bestie have been friends for like two and a half years

What/who do you miss?  i miss having good breakfast at camp 😭😭 also i hate to say it but getting exercise. also going outside..

How was your day today?  pretty good

How much sleep did you get last night?  like eight or something

Do you believe in aliens?  y'all. the universe is REALLY big. there's gotta be some alien bacteria hanging out on SOME planet SOMEWHERE

When was the last time you cried? Why?  yesterday because of algebra 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️muhammad ibn musa al-khwarizmi when i FUCKING CATCH YOU ITS OVER

What’s your favorite decade?  2020s- if i had to pick something else it would be 2000s

What are some seemingly childish things you like?  laughing at my reflection in spoons (i highly recommend doing this btw)

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times?  i like too many books to count and i have read hp and pjo too many times to count, but recently ive wanted to reread the outsiders so much i go to bed thinking about it and wake up thinking about it

How are you, really?  fine but every other time in my life i have thought i was fine i have been very mentally ill in retrospect so 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Does it take you a long time to make decisions?  depends on the type of decision..

What are you looking forward to in the near future?  artfight being over

What are you looking forward to in the distant future?  moving out :v

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?  i am going to the house of my online friends

Do you sleep with your door open or closed?  who sleeps with the door open

What’s your favorite flower?  cherry blossom or lily of the valley

Do you currently have a squish?  i don't know what the difference is between this and just loving your friend, so, idk?

Do you like your middle name?  yeah, i actually use it as my internet and gaming name

Do you prefer dogs or cats?  cats, i respect dogs but they have no concept of personal space

Do you have any phobias?  y'all i really don't like tape measures

Do you stay up late? i consider 11 30 to be late but some of my friends stay up all night sooo its subjective i guess

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy?  yes; sunny beach is better because where i live the water is always freezing so you need it to be hot or else it's just miserable

What’s your favorite cartoon?  maybe she-ra

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs i'm already tagging my moots later.,/,/

Do you have siblings? How many?  i have 6 siblings

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?  MYSELF- i am lonely right now

Is there anyone you would die for?  why is this such an intense question 😭😭😭probably no i'm a bit of a coward

What do you need when you’re sad?  gerard way but i need him all the time so

Have you memorized your phone number?  no and it haunts me every day

Who’s someone you can trust with your life?  myself (no offense)

What does your last text say?  just had the most transcendent sandwich on the way home

i know this one is really long so no pressure to do all of it OR do it at all LMAO @the-mighty-q @karineverse @the-mighty-mittens @sea-creeture @thankyouforthev3n0m @hopelesshardrockfan @wannabescemo @starbird06

[sirescumbag]

"northstar anon" aka "anon a star who [you] hypothesize has a most radiant laugh" here!

Unfortunately, my brain is currently only at around 12% functioning capacity so I do not have the brainpower to craft an ask as lovely as the one I wish to send :(

Thus my message today is simple: welcome back and thank you for the beautiful, lovely art! <3

Aww, anon!!! My my, I have many of your asks now, what a treasure to behold :,)) You are now a familiar face of sorts, with rather dashing sunglasses, if I may be so bold to suggest :DD

My ask box has been sadly far more neglected as of previous months due to life having me in its nasty little claws but rest assured I received your words in your last ask and always value your presence! It is very kind of you to muster the energy to speak with me despite struggling with your own issues, that must have been difficult. Ohh god no no, no need to worry about the message!! I appreciate the effort above all! You anons always amaze and flatter me with your timeliness as soon as I post compared to my extended absences between posts. It is incredibly touching to know that you have reserved time to speak to me so soon after posting! And now?? even when you're tired?? :,,,,,) I am very blessed to have someone like you, anon my star, who has such a generous heart to choose to expend a bit of that time on me! I've got to step up my game, you guys have been and are incredible, seriously

I'm afraid I can't promise that I will be here regularly, as I, too, am not capable of fully functioning as of late due to healing from some wounds, but I will post shitty, not yet rendered sketches in the meanwhile :,, ) I don't mind taking drawing requests for a while or answering some asks, just struggling with restoring my creative juices and time constraints for now! Drawing or no drawing actually you guys have been incredibly sweet, I love to interact with you guys, long heartfelt messages or reading your colorful tags or shitposts, it's all great. Started out with just planning to post my art and now I am a softie and this is 3 paragraphs now oh no

[goofygooberdays]

I saw that you were taking but I was thinking the same thing, why is there so much smut? Like I get it they're hot but let's have some cute fics without the hard-core porn at the end (not trying to be mean to those who like it, there's just so much)

Anyways, if you don't mind taking an Eddie Munson request, could you do one where he and the reader get followed by Robin and Steve on one of their dates?

I don't think I'm honest the right person to answer this since I do like smut, but it just got way too much for me. I crave the sweet shit lately but apparently everyone else is on a different wave length lol. Or like you said, the hard-core porn fics are just everywhere (like they said, I'm not judging or throwing shade! I just wanted someone to either request something I can write or that I can read! Read whatever the hell you would like!)

Now that I'm done with my little rant, I'd love to write this. I hope you're okay with it being in a headcannon!

-I imagine this being Eddie bragging to Steve and Robin about his upcoming date with you because he's so excited but these two don't really believe he's going on a date

-or they do believe him, but they kind of want to see with their own eyes since they haven't known their friend to get excited about things like dating

-after Eddie leaves the video store to go get ready (which honestly just consist of him making sure he sprays some cologne, maybe grab some gum, and cleans up his van a little so you don't see how much shit he throws in the back)

-if you're friends with Robin and Steve you'll be gushing how excited, but how nervous you are

-which again, your friends are excited for you two but it's still just so weird to them? They just can't wrap their minds around this because of how nervous you two are

-I don't know about you, but I don't really see Eddie being the type to like eating in crowded restaurants, because if I'm being honest I'm not the type either. If they stress you out like they do me, he would definitely not take you somewhere where you are even a little stressed.

-So that means he probably plans to take you to a bookstore or a library. And then when you guys are done there, you go grab some food but eat in his van while talking about the books and new music you got!

-You two are so enamored with each other and just talking a million miles per hour about different things that it take you guys a while to notice your friends trying, and failing, to be sly.

-but once you and Eddie notice them you two start making it a game: see which one will be the one to snap and accidentally say something to you two.

-so what started off with you guys talking about your personal favorite book or song to the other turns into the most random lie ever that the other two would know is a lie

-or you guys playing a little hide and seek from them. Basically you two try to hide in the weirdest parts of the store and see how long it takes for them to find you without making it obvious they were looking for you

-you would think Robin and Steve would figure out you and Eddie knew, but they only realized it when the store owners called Hopper because they were 'stalking you guys and you two were obviously afraid'.

-Which seemed a little dramatic, but it's fair the store owners were worried.

-Hopper looked so fucking done with you four when he showed up to the store. Since he's no stranger thing this group being absolute idiots, he just sighed and explained to the owner you guys knew each other.

-Robin and Steve were trying to get out of them before you and Steve noticed since they thought it wouldn't take long for you to spot them with Hopper being "too fucking loud" according to Steve.

-But Robin groaned and hit Steve when she noticed you two standing in the corner laughing so hard you guys were crying.

-"I think they know, Dingus."

-Steve was confused because he was so sure him and Robin were very good spies.

-"We spotted you guys back at the book store. Had a feeling you would follow us here." you said while you and Eddie walked past them to check out.

-Eddie was carrying all your stuff even though you told him you could carry them. He was also carrying your guy's book that he also paid for before you could say something. He tried to do the same for the music but you beat him to it this time.

-He tried to protest because after all, he's the one who asked you out first. But you were having none of it.

-"You asked me out first, but it's only fair I pay for half of the date since I've been wanting to do this for ages." To which he started blushing at since he's a precious bean.

-As you guys were walking out of the store, Hopper was telling Robin and Steve how much of an idiot they are and if he gets another phone call about them he's going to arrest them for real.

-Before Steve or Robin can say anything, you and Eddie go to stand right next to them. Robin was quick to apologize for ruining our date

-to which you and Eddie both waved off the apology and said they didn't ruin anything. "In fact, you guys made it a little better." you said while giving Eddie the biggest smile that he was also sporting himself.

-Since you guys were also a part of this date, do you want to join us for dinner?"

-Steve and Robin said yes quickly since these two would never turn down food. Plus they offered to pay since they felt a little bad still.

-Since none of you guys wanted to see how many people could fit into the back of Eddie's van, you went to a park and ate before playing on the playground like little kids.

-Even though your friends did end up hijacking the date, you and Eddie were okay with it since you two had a really really fun time. Plus you guys loved spending time with these two losers whenever you could.

-As you were all parting way, meaning Robin and Steve leaving in Steve cars and you and Eddie leaving in his van, you and Eddie kissed. All you heard was

-"Ew, I didn't need to see this bullshit." Robin said jokingly

-"If you're going to traumatize me than at least put your back into, Munson." He also said jokingly

-All in all, it was a really good night and you two definitely already made plans for another date in the upcoming future.

send me any request!

[westiec]

June 17: Chengxian 💜🖤💕

childhood friends to lovers/QPPs, ace Jiang Cheng, bi & aro Wei Wuxian, modern AU

(A/N: If you're wondering about a certain other someone, he will have a wonderful, full life of his own in Suzhou in this AU but is not in this story. 💙 There are some brief mentions of offscreen ace-antagonism, not by anyone we know.)

Read on ao3

Jiang Cheng had been Wei Ying's best friend in the whole world for his entire life.

Okay. Well, not quite his entire life, but certainly since Wei Ying’s parents moved to California when he was little little, which was about as far back as Wei Ying could remember anyway. Wei Ying’s baba and Jiang Cheng’s baba had grown up in Wuhan together and been best friends when they were kids, so naturally, when Wei Ying’s family moved into the same neighborhood as the Jiangs, it made perfect sense for Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng to become best friends too.

It was Jiang Cheng who had taught Wei Ying that he didn't have to be afraid of dogs, by introducing him to Princess, Jasmine, and Lil' Love. Lil' Love lived up to her name, coming and quietly sitting in all her fluffy glory on Wei Ying’s lap every time he went over to play.

It was also Jiang Cheng who Wei Ying got drunk with for the first time. They snuck booze from the cabinet where Wei Ying’s parents kept it and laughed at the faces each other made with every shot until they stopped tasting the harsh burn, and then laughing more just because.

(Wei Ying’s mom had not laughed, not at the time, when the two teens had been sick as anything the next morning, but instead made them a gloriously greasy late breakfast and gave them lots of advice about proper hydration.

Then she told Jiang Cheng’s mom and let her scold them.)

It was Jiang Cheng who came out first, their first semester in college, when he told Wei Ying he didn't think he wanted to have sex with anyone, ever, and asked if Wei Ying thought that meant no one would ever want to date him. Wei Ying hugged him tight and told him he didn't know about everyone out there, but he knew Jiang Cheng was the best guy in the world and would be an awesome boyfriend, and he'd fight anyone who said differently.

Jiang Cheng found a group on campus for third culture LBGT kids, and Wei Ying went with him, as a supportive ally.

Which was how Wei Ying figured out that he was not just a supportive ally.

In listening to the others talk about orientation and identity and attraction and cultural expectations, Wei Ying realized that what he'd always assumed was normal—finding all kinds of people physically attractive, regardless of their gender—was actually his bisexuality. So that was kind of cool.

"So yeah, now we can be queer together!" Wei Ying said, when he excitedly shared his newfound realization with Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng snorted. "Yeah, 'all' and 'nothing,'" he joked.

It was Jiang Cheng who'd helped him practice what to say to his parents when he wanted to change his major at the end of sophomore year, and Jiang Cheng who reminded him to eat and sleep and "take a fucking break, Wei Ying," those next couple semesters when he took way too many hours so he wouldn't have to rack up a whole extra year's worth of student loans to finish his new degree plan.

It was Jiang Cheng who graduated first, on a gorgeous blue-skyed sunny day in May, and Jiang Cheng who suggested Wei Ying keep living with him at his new apartment, so he wouldn't have to try to find a one-semester lease until he finished in December.

(They renewed the lease together every time.)

Jiang Cheng ribbed him playfully each time Wei Ying met someone new, but he was always there each times things fizzled out after a few months for reasons that never quite made sense to Wei Ying.

Jiang Cheng occasionally dated too, and Wei Ying was glad he never did have to fight anybody—though he did drive Jiang Cheng to the emergency room the time he came home with split knuckles from punching a guy who, "seemed to think I didn't know my own mind about certain things."

But dating sucked for everybody, right? It wasn't like Wei Ying or Jiang Cheng were in any hurry to settle down and do the whole spouse and kids thing or whatever. Wei Ying tried to imagine it and just... couldn't, though the image of Jiang Cheng with a baby was admittedly pretty cute.

~

It was not Jiang Cheng, but Jiang Yanli, a few months after she proposed to her girlfriend and they started planning their wedding, who Wei Ying finally asked, "Yanli-jie, how does a person decide someone else is their person?"

Jiang Yanli looked across the room to where Jiang Cheng was showing her soon-to-be-wife how to put side spin on a billiards ball and smiled. "I think you just know," she said. "You meet someone and you get to know them, spend time together, then one day you realize you love them and want to build the rest of your life with them."

Wei Ying wrinkled his nose. "I dunno if it works that way for me. Just some random person? I've never met anyone I can imagine wanting to live with all the time. Well, besides—huh..." he cut off suddenly and darted a look over at Jiang Yanli, who just calmly sipped her drink.

"Have you ever told him that?" she asked, after a moment where Wei Ying reassessed his entire life and dating history. "I think he might appreciate hearing it."

"I... huh. Yanli-jie, you're kinda blowing my mind here," he complained.

"I gathered," she said wryly, before fixing him with a smile that made all the hair on the back of his neck stand up. "Of course, I trust," she told him, "that I do not need to explain to you of all people how very dearly I hold my didi's happiness and well-being."

He swallowed and raised three fingers in the salute he'd used ever since the summer that—hah—he and Jiang Cheng had decided as kids that they would make their own oath of brotherhood like the heroes of their favorite show. "I, Wei Ying, swear to you that I would kick my own ass before I did anything to hurt him."

Jiang Yanli leaned over to knock her shoulder against his and nodded. "That's what I thought."

~

Turned out, dating Jiang Cheng didn't suck at all.

It felt easy in a way Wei Ying’s past dates never had, less like trying to keep up with a game whose rules everybody knew except him, more like... well, like spending time with his best friend in the whole world, but on purpose. There was also a tension in the back of Wei Ying’s mind that seemed to have lifted, though he couldn't quite pinpoint what it was that had gone.

It was Jiang Cheng who helped him figure it out.

"I think it's that now I'm able to count on this. On us," he said, when Wei Ying brought it up. "Before, whenever you went out with someone new, I wondered if this would be the time you'd find someone to fall in love with and leave me behind."

"Aww, Chengcheng! I would never!"

Jiang Cheng huffed and rolled his eyes, but his cheeks were pink. "Well, I know that now," he said, a pleased little smile breaking through his attempts at a scowl.

"As long as you're sure—" Wei Ying began, still getting used to thinking about himself with the word "aromantic." Still a so very sure that Jiang Cheng deserved to be fallen in love with.

"Hey!" Jiang Cheng cut him off. "None of that. I know you. And I know you don't see it this way, but I personally think it's pretty damn romantic that you choose to love me, on purpose."

"I simply have exquisite taste in life partners," Wei Ying sniffed, embarassed the way he always got when Jiang Cheng declared something he'd done "romantic."

"You do," Jiang Cheng agreed. "Someone told me a long time ago I was the best guy in the world and would make an awesome boyfriend, and that he would fight anyone who said differently."

Wei Ying laughed. "That's you and your sister I've promised to kick my own ass if I ever break your heart, then. Guess I'll just have to keep you forever."

"Damn right, you will," Jiang Cheng agreed, grinning smug and happy and breathtakingly beautiful. Wei Ying leaned across the couch to give him a sweet, closed-mouth kiss—the kind Jiang Cheng had shyly admitted he actually did like, a lot—and smiled too, at how lucky he'd gotten to be with his best friend in the whole world for his entire life.

🖤💜

Today's (extremely long!) thread was inspired by this WONDERFUL art of ace Jiang Cheng and bi & aro Wei Ying! Go give Midori some love on Twitter!

I spent a nonzero amount of time googling to double check when various terms and flags came into vogue, so if you're wondering, WWX & JC were in college in the early 2000s, before the ace and aro flags were designed. By the time they get themselves figured out, they can get their cute wristbands.

...which, yes, means these dingdongs spent about a solid decade living together before realizing that was what they wanted to do forever. 😉

This also means Jiang Yanli and her unnamed wife here are getting married between when California started recognizing same-sex marriages in 2008 and the Obergefell v. Hodges ruling in 2015! THIS SHIT'S RECENT!!!

Happy Pride, thank you for reading, check out more LGBTQIA+ sweetness on my #PrideMonthSnippets Masterpost!

[thunderheadfred]

🤚The Second Worst (Pt. 1/?)🤚

Part 2 of my Shigaraki Thesis Headcanons. HC's // The Second Worst: 1 - 2

The half-mad ghost of Shimura Tenko is in love with you, and your life is about to become a tragic wreck. -- AKA here's when I gave up on bullet points and went off the fuckin rails

I'm self-conscious about writing so much, so uhhhh, please be kind, hahaaa. This is rather long and involved. Are these still even HCs or just a self-indulgent AU outline? There are some mysteries we may never solve.

This is on AO3 now, if you prefer reading there. Anyway. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

You met Tenko before the League existed.

Believe it or not, there are a million ways it might have happened, but in the end: you were both bargain-binning in Akihabara.

You reached for a copy of a collectible bullet-hell cute-'em-up (near-mint! CIB!!!) and accidentally bonked hands with a complete stranger. He flinched about five million feet away from you. Ouch. You're just a nobody, quirkless and average, but you didn't think you were THAT repulsive.

(You're not. Hell, even if you were, this guy couldn't care less. He barely registers that you have a face.)

(Shigaraki is accustomed to getting in and out of this shop in seconds. He always comes in before anyone else and goes straight home. -- Is that really home? Is 'home' a real place? -- ANYWAY he's already pirated this shit, god, why does he even care? He doesn't need to be here. Father doesn't like it. Is that why he's here? Just to do something Father doesn't like? That's pathetic.)

He's had at least ten complete internal arguments with himself before he so much as looks at you.

You know in the tenth of a second he actually meets your eyes... this fucker is going to fight you to the death over this game.

- - - The death match ends in a draw. He was not expecting you to know the first fucking thing about this game. Nobody knows about it, even in Japan. Who the fuck do you even think you are? Oh, no, he's still taking it. But... maybe he can show you how to play it it. He'll give you a little taste, just to make you jealous. He's got his hoodie pulled down like he's going to commit an act of terrorism. What little you can see of his face looks twitchy and messed up. If you have any survival instincts at all, they're kicking in right about now. But... why not. You're not going anywhere with this dude unsupervised, so you suggest a crowded web cafe down the street. The cafe has the necessary console... but the retro gaming booth is laughably small. The TV is about four inches across and you end up having to practically sit in his lap. You were sure this guy was a nasty fucking creep, but he's................ only mostly terrible. Way too angry, for sure. Has no idea how to have a normal, friendly conversation. Inadvertently insults you every other sentence and seems to have a deep-seated persecution complex.

You'd prefer to be mad about the awful company, but... he's obviously deprived of human contact. When it's established that you two share a lot of media fixations, he calms down and starts treating you a little more like a human being. Or at least like a fellow elite.

Wherever he came from, he doesn't seem to want to go back. He keeps pushing you to play one more level, pretending he wants to beat your score. You feel kinda bad for him. You get the distinct feeling that his life is a disaster. He looks like he's never had a full night of sleep in his life. He trips your trigger hairs in that 'is he gonna follow me home?' kind of way, but... up close, he's a lot more depressing than scary. At the very least, you want to buy him a stupidly cute dessert. Just... as thanks. For letting you try out the game and stuff. It's not a big deal, so just pick a flavor, okay? The world isn't actually that awful, y'know.

It's not even that impressive... Definitely not a great cafe. But he takes practically a full hour to eat a single slice of strawberry cake.

When the hoodie comes down. He's all shriveled and dried out, like someone left him him in the desert to die. He chews on his peeling bottom lip and nervously scratches his neck. He doesn't thank you for the cake. Which is fine. It's not a big deal. Actually, you wish he would eat faster; you feel weirdly responsible for him now.

Under all that mess he's... gorgeous? His hair is stunning: a bright, gleaming silver that catches the light. His bone structure is flawless. If it weren't for all the scars and the misanthropic slouch, he'd look like a fairy fucking prince.

You were not prepared for that. In another life he could have been a model, the type of guy who would never even look at you. But something bad happened to him. Something... very bad. Do you even want to know? You have no idea how to ask. Has anyone ever been nice to him? It doesn't seem like it. Should YOU be nice to him? You sort of want to try. - - - This becomes a regular thing. This weird little secret. You should probably tell someone when you see him, just in case you don't come back one day, but you say nothing; how the hell would you explain why you want to see him so bad? You don't know his full name. Maybe he's on a watch list. When he gives you a long string of random numbers so you can schedule meet-ups (is THAT his e-mail, really?) he tells you to just... call him Tenko. Or whatever. It doesn't matter. (He sneaks out when Father is deep in his plots. As long as he comes home on time, it doesn't really matter where he goes, right?) He brings a different game every time. He has an insane collection. Where does he get the money for all this? You know he doesn't work. God, is it drugs? It's probably drugs. Wherever these hidden gems came from, he proudly shows them off to you, like he's never had an audience before. It's sort of cringe-inducing, the way he one-ups and rubs every little victory in your face, desperate for attention.

But at the same time, you are becoming too... something...to mind. Do you... like him? He's not funny, but he thinks you are. His mouth is huge when he laughs. He seems to hate everyone but you, and you've had to earn the distinction of being merely tolerable. Still, he gets really excited about random shit like the garage kit black market and haunted dolls and the price of weed on the dark web.

And... strawberry cake. The realization hits you both at the same time when the waitress brings one piece with two forks. God, what the fuck, are you... are you dating? Quick, think. You look forward to seeing him, and don't even mind sitting close to him anymore. Sometimes you push your leg up against him just to see if he'll still flinch away... and he doesn't.

You jealously notice the way he touches everything but you: with delicate precision, one finger at a time. His large, elegant hands always have a pinky up like he's aspiring for a fiefdom, and you wonder what his skin feels like. You go home and dwell on the way he plucks flowering weeds out of the pavement in front of the cafe. The way he stands rooted to the spot as you leave, just... looking at nothing, unsmiling.

You watch his lips too much, and not just because you want to buy him chapstick. You catch him gaping at you all the time. You thought he was just creepy like that, but maybe... Yeah. I guess you are dating him. Shit. - - - Okay, so, yeah. Bringing him back to your place was definitely a bad idea. You know you shouldn't trust him, even if he is... apparently... your boyfriend? Sort of? You still don't have his phone number. So. Um. What now? You order overpriced pizza and queue up a campy horror movie. What the fuck are you even doing. You don't really think he's going to murder you anymore, but... still. Is the suburban massacre scene gonna give him ideas? Turns out, no. He doesn't like gore, even when the blood is neon pink. He gets upset. Like, really upset. Shaky and green, like he might puke on you. He can't stop scratching that scaly spot on his neck.

Tenko, are you crying? Fucking hell, did you just trigger him? Of course he has a traumatic past, it's carved all over his face. You're so fucking stupid. You don't know how to make it right. You want to hug him, kiss him... anything. But he's never really touched you, and you're too afraid to push now. It ruins the whole night. He leaves without explaining anything. Doesn't even say goodbye. He just. Leaves. Maybe you'll never see him again. Maybe that's for the best. Your chest hurts. - - - He shows up at your door a few weeks later. You haven't heard from him since that disastrous movie night. You had pretty much accepted that you'd broken up with a boyfriend you never actually had. But no. Apparently not.

This time, he’s brought his own entertainment. He's holding a boxed set of some show you're not familiar with. You're distracted by these weird little half-gloves he's wearing, like a cyberpunk hacker. That's a new look, and even if it's a bit edgelord adjacent, he makes it look cool. You tell him as much. It's the first time you've let on how attractive you find him. He's wearing a tight black shirt with a deep, deep V-neck. That's distracting too.

He clears his slender throat and doesn't look at you.

You try to apologize for before, but he's acting like it never happened. What are you even talking about? Have you seen this OVA or not? Get out of the way and let him in already. You've watched three episodes now, but you still have no idea what this stupid anime is about. You can't pay attention to a single frame. All you can think about is how his arm has crept up behind your shoulders. A few inches more and he'll be holding you. Does he... want to hold you? You lean toward him so slowly your spine creaks. One molecule at a time. After a thousand years, your head slides nervously under his chin. His arm comes down, locking you in, fingers clutching your sleeve in a death grip. Even that snobby little pinky. His head tucks down into you hair. A sharp collarbone bites into your cheek. His heartbeat is hard, fast, and irregular. There's not a scrap of fat on him, and as you wrap your arm around his stomach, you think you see a twitch in his pants. Is that just you being desperate? Or... hopeful? This is really happening. --- Soon, you learn that Tenko is a clumsy kisser. It doesn't matter; the fact that he's kissing you at all is good enough for now. His lips are dry, but not half as dry as you expected. There's a slick of menthol helping things along; he's been using something medicated on his lips. Plus, his mouth tastes like he drank a gallon of mouthwash.

All this thrills you more than a little, because it means he came here wanting to impress you. Wanting you. Full stop. Underneath that minty sting is a strange, worrisome aftertaste, like something rotten. Your brain fires off an alarm. Stop kissing him. Right now. This thing will make you sick. But his hands nervously slide over your body... and you decide not to worry about it. Instead, you kiss him deeper. He makes a sweet, startled little noise. Your brain is a fucking liar. It occurs to you he's probably never done this before.

When you lace your fingers in his and try to pull one of his gloves off, he rips his hand away.

Don't. That’s the only explanation he gives.

No need to ask if it's a quirk thing or a trauma thing. Judging by how jittery he gets, it's probably both. You remember the way his hands almost float over objects without ever holding them. Maybe his touch is dangerous. Maybe that's why his face looks like that.

Maybe you should learn more about him before things go way too far...

No. It can't be that bad. Now that he's in your arms, everything frightening about him evaporates. He's vulnerable. He's alone. He's shaking a little. Has anyone else ever seen this side of him? You want to keep him all to yourself, just like this.

So what if he has to touch you with gloves on? You've heard of worse quirk-related inconveniences.

It's okay, Tenko. Do you want to keep going?

You put his hands back on you and wait for him to kiss you again. It doesn't take long.

---

You open his pants. He's long and thin, calloused even here. Every part of him feels untouched, unloved. You hold him tight and squeeze.

It doesn't seem to occur to him to please you in return. He looks afraid. Confused. You're sure you scared him earlier with the glove thing. Is this too much? No. He gasps and leans into you. The tiniest, broken please.

He cums in your hand right away, face buried in your shoulder, his eyes wet and hidden.

I have to go, he says. Over and over and over.

It's okay, Tenko.

You know he doesn't want to.

- - - - - (oops I wrote more)

[blockofbones]

are you saying people on tumblr are being entitled or dream is? i'm just curious about your thoughts on this because everything i've seen you say so far about the whole situation has been so vastly different from the rest of my dash <- not neg

I'm saying tumblr is entitled.

Warning, most will likely just want to unfollow rather than read, because like anon is saying, I do not have the reaction of most of tumblr right now. If the manatreed situation is in anyway upsetting or triggering, I honestly ask that you do what you need to to maintain your mental health, even if its unfollowing or blocking me.

It's been extremely disappointing. Innocent until proven guilty is suddenly guilty until proven innocent.

Trust me bro is a valid source in accusations but not in denying them. The OP essentially said 'okay so the actual proof is behind this stuff I blocked out but trust me it links to them and trust these gaps in logic I fill in for you. Pay no attention to dates that make no sense'.

The onus has always, always been on the accuser in cases except now. The accuser that, reminder, doxxed a victim for malicious reasons.

People are admitting they can't trust sources in the same exact breath they say that Dream is awful and it looks bad and the evidence is 'mounting against him'. You don't even have to visit that hell site to easily see how much of it makes no sense, doesn't match up, and is entirely built on a previous doxx that both Dream and the actual doxxed person denied.

People got more upset at Dream using the word gullible - which people absolutely ARE - than the actual allegations or the accuser doxxing a victim. Somehow Dream is the big villain in all of this, which is baffling. Because he didn't react how certain people want him to, he's suddenly irredeemable. His fucking sister was doxxed so he deleted his private, and people here immediately were tagging how disappointed in him they were, and then how awful it was to go on stream. A stream that, like it or not likely WAS planned, and with his best friend who we know he finds comforting. The man said he was afraid, likely did what he needed to for his own mental health, but because it wasn't some random on the internet's interpretation of the 'right response', it was wrong. I would love to see how these people, anonymous and behind a screen, would react to millions of people watching their every move and judging, being confronted with yet another accusation, with everyone always finding the worst possible interpretation of their actions. And another accusation that hits so close to him for him, to boot. Hindsight is such a benefit.

He legitimately cannot satisfy the angry fans without doxxing himself. His options are doxx himself to prove his innocence, or not say anything and be presumed guilty. Both of those are shit choices in a situation where people keep saying to believe the victim, but this statement doesn't apply. The victim did not make an accusation, was not involved, did not ASK to be involved, and they are railroaded another victim at the same time.

Lastly: everyone talks about how Dream should get legal council, and then that flies out the window as a possibility in a situation which honestly would be the most likely incident for him to do so. His family is legitimately in danger from doxxing. And if he did seek counsel? He would not speak a single thing about this manner. It would be detrimental to his case and risk his council dropping him. So much would be ruined by a single word. Instead, if he sought legal help? They would tell him to shut up about the situation while they worked it out, and lead his life.

And if he hasn't been silenced by a lawyer, it could also be that they are working out how best to prove their innocence without completely doxxing themselves, and I'm sorry, but it is valid to take longer than 24 hours. You don't have to like that he streamed, it can upset you and that's valid, but I wish people would stop acting as the moral authority.

And to be very fucking clear: do not even attempt to come at me in one of those 'you cant speak if you arent a victim' accusations. I am literally the ever-lasting result of an abusive relationship.

[heyyyharry]

Chapter 6: Teenagers In Love

(from the My Girl Trilogy: Be My Only)

…in which Harry finds the perfect location for their official date.

Warning: SMUT 😱

AU: actor!Harry, older!Harry, younger!Y/N, (4-year age gap).

Word count: 4.3k

Chapter 5: Her - Harry tries to win Y/N back, but there’s another problem.

Wattpad link

A/N: This chapter is inspired by 17 by Julia Michaels and Teenager In Love by Madison Beer 😄

You make me feel like a teenager in love / Can we stay in this dream like we are 17?

.

.

.

From the passenger seat, Harry watched the giant light orb slowly sink beneath the fiery horizon. His skin was cooled by the wind but his heart was as warm as the color of the sky. Even this beautiful sunset couldn't hold his attention for too long.

He turned right back to Y/N, his lips pressed into a smirk when she stopped humming her favorite song and complained, "quit staring at me, it's creepy," but her nonchalant smile let him know she secretly liked it.

"We're on a date, Bambi. I'm supposed to be staring at you," he said with a hand on her thigh and she instantly smacked it away.

"Don't be handsy while I'm driving," Y/N grumbled.

Harry intended to crack a joke about how extra careful she was, but they were heading toward an intersection so he paused to tell her, "turn left here and keep going straight."

"But this route leads us out of the city."

"Yeah." He calmly nodded despite her confusion. "Didn't I tell you we weren't gonna be in London tonight?"

It took her less than two seconds to figure out what he meant and her eyes grew wider than before. "No. Fucking. Way."

"Yes, baby. We're going home."

The proud look on his face made her chuckle. "I've underestimated you."

"Apology accepted," he said while beaming. "I think it'll be more meaningful if I take you back to where we started. So," he clasped both hands together, "for tonight, I want us to be two normal teenagers going on their normal first date."

"If we're teenagers then how old are we?"

"Seventeen."

"So we're not legal yet?"

"Shit!" He faked a gasp. "I forgot that it's our birthday today! We're eighteen now!"

Y/N cracked up and poked her head out of the window to shout, "TODAY IS OUR BIRTHDAY!" at a random car. The couple was in hysterics when the grumpy driver flipped them off, but they couldn't care less, because there was no one else on this empty highway. Her hair was blowing in the wind, so he reached out and carefully tucked a strand behind her ear. She looked so beautiful right now. And he had never felt more in love.

It was dark when they finally arrived in Holmes Chapel. Having lived in London for too long, Harry was used to the warm glow of streetlights outside his bedroom window, and so he found such darkness strange, yet mesmerizing. The sky was a pure velvety black sprinkled with luminous stars. The moon was full and bright, the most beautiful he had recalled, so maybe it was a sign from the universe welcoming them home. Leaning out of the window, he inhaled the Jasmine-scented air, as the memories of his childhood rushed back like a fast-forwarded film inside his head. When he was a teenager, he used to enjoy driving in the night, he never remembered all the roads in this town, but he wasn't afraid of getting lost because they would always lead him home.

"Are you hungry?" He turned back to her, sounding like a happy little boy as he suggested, "let's go to that famous gastro pub near our school, the one we couldn't afford when we were little, what's its called?"

"Ginger Barrel?"

"Yeah, yeah, that one!" His eyes lit up in excitement. "Is it still there?"

"Yeah." She nodded, flashing him a grin. "I still can't afford it though."

"Tonight you do! I'm your credit card."

Y/N instantly responded with a scoff as she rolled her eyes and pushed his face away. "No, you're not. We'll split the bill."

"I knew you were gonna say that. But you drove me here, so just think of it as me paying for the fuel."

"Fine," she agreed just so he would shut up. "But next time you drive, and I'll buy you dinner."

Just as she finished that sentence, the car lurched forward, stopped in the middle of the street and the motor went off completely. It was ironic how they had just mentioned fueling the vehicle, but one second later it broke down without warning and left them stranded on a back road through the woods.

"Don't worry, it happens a lot," Y/N reassured her startled date as she took a deep breath. "Let's just wait here for a while and it'll work again."

"How long exactly?"

"About...an hour."

"What?!" He gasped. "Bambi, we're in the middle of nowhere!"

"I'm sorry, okay? I don't—" She suddenly paused, her eyes lit up as if she'd just recognized something. She grabbed his shoulder, shaking him slightly. "Hey, do you trust me?"

"Of course, I do," he said, though doubt was clear in his tone.

"Okay, then help me move the car to the side of the road. We're taking a walk."

"Wait, what?"

"Trust me," she reassured him. "I know this town like the back of my hand, I grew up here."

"Ouch!" Harry gripped his chest like he'd just been shot in the heart and her laughter torn down the silence surrounding them. Eventually, he got out of the vehicle and helped her move it to the side of the road. His heart was racing when she took his hand, mostly because he had no idea where she was taking him. His manager, Jeff, would never have allowed him to risk losing his money-making tool — his own life, from walking into the dark woods. However, his heart was speaking for his brain right now, and it told him to follow her wherever she went, so he did, no questions asked.

But Y/N wasn't joking when she said she knew Holmes Chapel like the back of her hand. After only five minutes of walking, they got out of the woods and found themselves in a large meadow. It wasn't the first time he'd been here, because he remembered that lake in which he used to go swimming every summer night. He and Y/N would climb on the giant oak tree and sit on its biggest branch to practice skipping rocks.

"I discovered that shortcut when Celine and I were out here looking for her cat." Y/N tugged at his sleeve, pointing ahead. "Our school is right across those trees. See?"

"Yeah..." He chuckled, their fingers were interlocked as he turned back and looked into her soft eyes. He caressed her cheeks, slowly and tenderly. Her lashes fluttered as she held his gaze and locked her fingers around both of his wrists to keep his hands on her face. Those few quiet seconds were the most relaxing he'd felt in such a long time, as if time had stopped and they were the only ones left on Earth.

"You're so beautiful," he spoke softly, watching her eyes twinkled when she laughed.

"So are you," she said in an undertone and didn't protest when he leaned in, and finally captured her mouth with his own for a slow and chaste kiss, which turned hasty and sensual in a second. He slid his fingers into her hair as her arms snaked around his waist, pulling him in. It was he who withdrew and put a hand on her neck to keep them apart.

"Let's slow down, yeah?" he said, their forehead pressed together. "We've got all night."

She quietly nodded and licked her lip, which made him want to go against his own words and kiss her again. But he managed to fight his own urges to break away from her.

They sat down on the grass by the lake, looking up at the glittering assemblage of stars and allowing their own silence to take over. There was nothing more soothing than the sound of crickets singing in combination with the peaceful rustling of leaves. The soft breezes blew through the trees, brushed against the water's surface and blurred the reflection of the night sky, only for it to go back to complete stillness like an enormous mirror laid on the ground.

In the absence of the rest of the world, Harry and Y/N finally did what they should have done years ago. They talked.

He told her his side of the story which she'd never got to hear, from how he'd come to her place after she'd left, to how her journal entries had helped him see the many things he'd done wrong. He expected her to be angry, but instead, she gave him a smile. "I thought I lost that notebook."

"I was scared you'd hate me if you found out I'd kept it all this time."

"Good thing I already hate you," she replied and laughed along with him. Then she began to talk about herself, about everything, including how she'd discovered her mother's secret, which had helped her mend the relationship with her dad, but also made her give up on her dream of becoming a writer.

"I don't know..." She shrugged while toying with a wildflower at her feet. "My feelings and expectations had caused me so much trouble in the past. I just...don't want to get hurt anymore, so it's better to focus on the present and reality instead of dwelling in the past or the fictional worlds I've created. Without unrealistic expectations, you can never be disappointed, right?"

Harry let his thoughts run for a while before pursing his lips, seemingly disagree. "You are a great writer, Bambi," he blurted. "Everyone needs to read your stories, they're fantastic, even the ones you wrote when you were a little girl. And what's wrong with unrealistic expectations, anyway? For all I know, they're what make the world a less horrible place. Take me for example, I love acting because I get to be someone else, even for just temporary, but it feels nice to pretend you're not you and you're in a different world and have a different personality. Things like those make life much more interesting, don't you agree?"

She said nothing, just staring at him with an ambiguous smile that left him dumbfounded.

"Did I say something wrong?" He asked.

Only now did she shake her head. "No, you're absolutely right." Then she paused for a second. "You sound like my mum, that's all. If she was here, she would say something like that."

"Do you still think about her? I don't see you wearing the necklace I gave you anymore."

"I still do, sometimes, not as often as before, but—Well, I have to let her go at one point, right?" She giggled softly, hugging her knees to her chest and glancing heavenward.

Harry had always thought the sky full of stars in his hometown was the most beautiful work of art, because he grew up dreaming and pondering under that sky. He'd missed it a lot while living in London, where the city lights would drown out even the brightest stars. But now that he was here, engulfed by a luminous galaxy, he realized it wasn't just the night sky in Holmes Chapel that he'd missed; it was also her. And now he didn't have to look at those stars anymore because his entire universe was already right next to him.

"Have you ever gone skinny-dipping?"

Her sudden question caught him off guard, so he stuttered, "uh...no, why?"

Y/N stood up, but before he could ask another question, she pulled her summer dress over her head and tossed it down on the grass. She wasn't wearing a bra so her bare breasts spilled out, leaving him gawking like a fool. He had seen much more, but this sight got his cheeks turning pink. Ignoring the look on his face, Y/N kicked off her shoes and pulled down her panties, letting them fall at her feet as she tip-toed to step out of them. The moonlight made her breasts look smaller, but she was still perfect to him, her naked form had him bewitched. He could clearly see the goosebumps on her arms, the scars on her legs for all those years she'd climbed the tree in their backyard. Her body was like a map of her beautiful childhood memories, which was why he fell in love with it as he'd done with her.

"You coming?"

He blinked rapidly when her voice pulled him back to reality. His eyebrows drew together in concern. "What if someone sees us?"

"No one will, I've done this many times before." Her answer left him in shock. Without waiting for him to follow, she turned and gave him one last look over the shoulder before running toward the lake. He watched her dive in with no splash, like a mermaid under the beautiful moonlight. She was swimming around and dipping her head back in the water to smoothen her sleek hair.

"Come on, Harry, don't be a pussy!" She broke into a fit of laughter.

Harry sighed, rolled his eyes and swiftly stripped himself naked, but he didn't jump right in; he slowly walked into the lake as if to test the water temperature, and Y/N just lost her patient. She swam up to him, grabbed his hand and dragged him underwater. He frantically clawed back to the surface, gasping for air.

"That was mean!"

"Calm down, Styles! Have some fun!" She giggled when he splashed water at her and pulled her to him. Before she could say anything, he shut her up with his lips. His heart was beating so fast that his skin tingled and his stomach was on fire. He thought this might be too much because his cock was firm against her stomach, but Y/N didn't mind, she took the initiative and slipped her tongue between his lips. His arms were tightened around her waist as he swam them over to the edge of the lake, kissing her neck and groaning into her cold skin.

He wasn't in his right mind when he moved his right hand between her thighs and caressed her clit with his thumb. The breathy sound of his name escaped her mouth, her eyes fell shut when he dipped his index finger inside of her. She moaned louder, her face buried in the crook of his neck as she kissed his collarbone. Now she truly felt like a hormonal teenager.

"Fuck...baby..." She gasped and moved his hand away, leaving him frantic. "I want to but...not here."

"Oh...okay." He kissed her again, softly. "But not in a car again please."

"Oh, God. Don't bring that up!"

"Alright, alright, let's get out of here. I know just the place." He laughed and kissed her shoulder when she hid her face into the crook of his neck.

The couple got out of the lake and fumbled their clothes back on. He'd been knuckle-deep inside of her just a minute ago, but now both of them were flustered just from watching each other get dressed. He slipped into his jeans as color burned in his cheeks, thankfully the darkness hid that so well. Walking back to the car, they couldn't keep their hands off each other, one moment their fingers were interlocked, and the next his hands were underneath her dress and they were kissing. He didn't usually do this when he was on a date, but they weren't in London now, they were home. No one was here to spy on them, to judge them, or make them feel uncomfortable. Tonight, it was just them and the moon.

They made out in the front seat for a while until the flashing light of another car tore them apart. She hurriedly climbed to the passenger seat, letting him be the one behind the wheel this time. They both looked like a mess right now, especially Y/N with her hair wet and tangled, her dress riding up, one strap falling past her shoulder. He had to use up all of his self-control to ignore his aching erection and started the engine to get them out of here as fast as he could. That fancy dinner will have to wait, he told himself. As she leaned out of the window and stared at the dark trees sliding past them, he took another turn to enter the highway and kept on driving until their childhood houses came into view.

"Wait, no!" She bounced up in her seat, staring at him with wide eyes. "Why are we here?"

"We're going to my house."

"We're not having sex while your parents are downstairs, Harry!"

The way she reacted got him shaking with laughter. "Relax, kid, they're not home. They're visiting my stepdad's family."

She released a sigh of relief when he pulled over in front of his yard. They got out at the same time. She walked around the car, toward him, her eyes narrowed for she didn't get why he was smiling. He didn't tell her, but the truth was, he found it interesting that she'd never waited for him to open the door for her. He guessed that was just how she was; she preferred doing things by herself.

They walked the steps up to his front door, and Harry was glad he'd brought the spare key just in case they might need to stay the night. Little did he knew, his plan didn't go smoothly as he'd expected. When he pushed the door open, the first thing he saw was his mother in her PJs. Just like the young couple, Anne was in shock. It was only until she saw them holding hands that she cheerfully exclaimed, "you two are finally together!"

Harry chuckled when she rushed toward them and pulled them both into a hug. She didn't even ask why they were home this late at night, all she cared about was them finally being something more than friends. Immediately, Anne pulled away and gripped Y/N's shoulders tightly as she sized her up. "My God, why are you soaked? Was it raining on the way here?"

"It was." Y/N giggled, glancing up at Harry whose face reddened as he scratched the back of his head. "Mum, where's Robin?"

"Oh, he's visiting his family," Anne said, and Harry received a glare from Y/N. The mother still hadn't caught on what was happening so she looked rather excited about seeing her son again, especially when he was with the girl she'd hoped he would end up with.

"You could've told me you were coming! Hurry, go upstairs and change or you'll get sick." Anne didn't wait for a response as she propelled the kids toward the stairs, and they had no choice but to do as she said. Y/N walked in front of Harry, who kept his hands on her hips the entire time, as if she was a toddler and couldn't walk on her own.

His bedroom was at the end of the hallway, right next to Gemma's. The hole in the roof had been fixed, and the room looked as good as the last time he'd seen it before moving to his dorm in London. He had taken most of the stuff with him that day, so now the room only contained a small bed, neatly made, and a small table with two straight-backed chairs. His walls looked empty without those posters that seventeen-year-old him thought were cool. A lot had changed since then.

Y/N made her way to the bed, sat down and signaled him to shut the door. His heart was pounding out of control as he came to sit right by her side. They were kissing again, this time, the kiss was slower, but wet and enthusiastic.

"I slept in this bed once..." She spoke with a brittle voice as his lips pressed against the curve of her jaw. "I was nine, and my parents were out of town..."

"I remember," he said between open-mouthed kisses down her neck. "You made me...sleep...so...far away from you...because you said...boys were gross."

Her chest vibrated with laughter. She cupped his cheeks and lifted his face. "Boys are gross," she repeated, making him laugh.

"Yeah? I guess kissing is gross too? All that saliva and stuff..." He teased before his lips found hers again.

Soon she was lying on her back with him on top. Her dress was on the floor, along with his shirt and jeans. His skin was slick with sweat and she felt so aroused watching the beads roll down the tattoos on his toned chest. Her nipples were hard and begging to be touched, and Harry knew that because his cock was the same. So he sucked on a nipple, causing her back to arch as he gripped her bottom and ground his erection against her glistening folds. She felt so embarrassed that they were doing this with his mother's presence in the house, but lust had taken control over her, and now every single part of her was yearning for him.

He tore his mouth away to look at her, his pupils were huge as he observed her face, stroking her bottom lip with his thumb.

"I love you so much." He breathed. "I wish that I was your first."

"You are," she whispered, and a smile crept up on her face when she saw how dumbfounded he was.

"Tonight, we're each other's first, remember?" She reminded him. Her lips curved into a smile as he muttered "I love you" again and again, before pulling down his boxers in one swift movement. As he reached for his jeans on the floor to get the condoms from his pocket, his cock twitched, it was leaking, and painfully hard, so she couldn't blame him when he nearly fell off the bed trying to open the pack and put the condom on with his trembling hands.

Pushing her thighs apart, he moved between them, then wasted no time to carefully guide himself into her. The fullness and stretch were familiar and strange at the same time. She hadn't had him in a year so it was sore when he entered. He felt even more massive than she remembered. Then he was all the way inside, a heavy groan got stuck in his throats as he pressed his forehead against hers, his mouth hung open and his face twisted.

"God, you're tight," he gasped. "I could just come right now, I'm not joking."

Her laugh jerked as he began to move experimentally, the intense pleasure had them both shudder at the same time. Then he picked up the pace, thrusting a little more rapid. He was so thick and full inside of her that she could feel him all the way in her stomach. She struggled to breathe, yet her hips were bucking to urge him to move faster. And so he did, giving her exactly what she'd asked for.

He slid one hand down to her hip and his head dropped forward as he pounded harder toward orgasm. She could feel the heat spreading all over her body like wildfire, but as her fingers found her clit, he smacked her hand away and replaced it with his own. All she could do was look at him helplessly, her eyelids fluttered but she wanted to watch him come. His mouth was in an 'o' shape as her nails scratched down his back and the overwhelming sensation swept right through them. Y/N bit onto his shoulder to muffle her cries, soon his head fell back, and a growl rumbled in his throat as he chased his release. He flopped down on top of her afterward, her entire body went numb, completely fucked out.

"That was good..." She managed to speak but unable to move a muscle.

"Yeah? That was my first time, I'm a natural."

She playfully hit his shoulder for that joke and both of them dissolved into laughter. Slowly, Harry pulled himself out of her pulsing heat which still fought to keep him inside. He shifted around to make himself comfortable before looking up at her.

"I forgot," he said softly.

"Forgot what?"

"To say I love you during." His answer put a smile on her face. Though her eyes were closed, she could tell he was also smiling at her.

"You don't have to say it every five minutes, H."

"Yeah but..." He pressed a kiss to her flushed cheek. "I love you."

She responded with a giggle and turned her head to look at him again. As she parted her lips to say something, his mother's voice caused them both to flinch. "Hey, you guys want some milk?!"

"No, mum!" He shouted back to her, but there was no answer. The horrified look on his face made Y/N laugh so hard that her stomach was in pain.

"Is she gonna come up here? Because I honestly can't move."

"She might. But don't worry, I already locked the door," he reassured her and laid a kiss on her forehead, pulling her back into his arms.

.

.

.

The sun had come out by the time they made it to London, and Y/N pulled her car to the side of the road to drop him off at work. Their bodies were aching and exhausted from all the love-making and staying up all night just to talk. But that wasn't a big problem now that they were happier than they'd ever been. The memories from last night would be enough to get them through another busy day, until they got to see each other again.

"Will you come over tonight?" She asked as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

"Sure, love." Harry nodded. When he leaned in, however, Y/N instantly put a hand on his chest.

"We can't," she reminded him. They had already risked being seen together, she couldn't let anyone catch them making out in public, especially when things were just looking up. Harry also knew that, still he seemed disappointed. Right before he could leave, however, she held onto his arm.

"Have a nice day," she said with a bashful smile. "I love you."

His expression dulled for a second before his whole face lit up with a massive grin. "Fuck it," he exhaled, grasped her face, and kissed her hard. Y/N’s eyes went round as she pushed him right off, but the man didn't seem to care at all. He told her he loved her before getting out of the car and happily leaping up the steps into the building, while she stayed here, smiling like a fool.

But then that smile was gone. She saw Ruby stepping out of her black Audi and their eyes met for a brief second which felt like a minute. The woman was ice cold as she slammed the door and marched up the steps into the same building.

[liamgallaghermpreg]

actually i have more to say and i had to get off my phone and get on my computer so i could type easier lol

i started posting fanfiction to the internet in i believe 2008. at the time i did this in the form of prose rp on forums and by posting to deviantart and livejournal. one thing that these platforms encouraged that ao3 (by design, and rightfully so) does not is community. ao3 is an archive. it's not meant to be a social site and frankly good on it for not being one.

but because of this, people so easily forget there is a real human behind what they're writing. i only posted a couple fics to LJ, because everyone migrated off of it soon after i stopped lurking and started posting. i was 14 and tbh thank god it was only a few, they were bad fics! but people weere so nice to me. that's what stood out to me. when people commented, they engaged with the text. they expressed their thoughts on choices i had made. if they wanted more, they said they'd love to read more, it wasn't a demand.

this was something i noticed in the comments of fics back then too. admittedly, i didn't leave many off of my flist page because i knew i was too young to be reading what i was reading. but people really were thoughtful. there were timestamp memes and bingos and communities and a whole culture of encouragement to create.

(note: i know i look back on this time with rose colored glasses, due to my age. i know LJ-era was full of wank and other shit but let's admit it, there has totally been a paradigm shift. back then, the 'puritans' were a small outlier of ridiculous people!)

anyway. i started posting fic again in 2014 and i can't say what it was like then with certainty bc it's a fuzzy time in my life, but when i got back on it regularly in 2017 i noticed things had changed. the overwhelming amount of 'more please' or 'extra kudos' the 'here's my idea for a sequel please write it' the random trauma dumping...

nobody is owed comments and this isn't me whining that i don't get comments on my fics. it's the recognition of two things:

people treat ao3 as a content machine like there are no actual people behind the fics. 'more please' without regard for the author, a dopamine drip of their faved tags with no thought that somebody is sitting there creating all that shit and putting their whole heart or pussy or both into it

people are afraid to and/or are embarrassed to interact with authors. 'i'm afraid to say this knocked my socks off' WHY? DON'T YOU THINK THE AUTHOR WANTS TO HEAR THAT? or 'extra kudos' bc you're afraid to say something. 'i can't leave comments on old works' etc. why NOT? there are people there who want to hear nice things about their work!!!!!

also, this has happened to me at least 5 times, where a work of mine has been recc'd in a server that op doesn't know i'm also in, and nobody has gone and commented on the fic. i'd have never known

just fucking...say you liked it. say what your favorite part was. quote back a bit and say 'I LOVED THIS'

it just breaks my heart that nobody seems interested in engagement between the author and the reader anymore. anyway apologies, it's -18 here and i'm sitting in my room with a bottle of gin

I think, if you struggle to leave ao3 comments, the best thing to think is just “would I be okay with receiving this?”

Obviously this is going to vary from person to person — some people may be delighted to receive nothing but emojis, I personally don’t like that. If all you’re going to leave is a heart, just hit the kudos button. Engage with the story or don’t. That said, I find it to be a pretty good gauge of “should I leave this or nah”