#anyway i kept being like 'after this one i'll stop for the night' bc i feasibly cant keep typing without pissing the fuck out of my sister

[hella1975]

'why are you smiling' because i have beautiful mutuals and we all love each other. go back to your sports romance you heinous bitch

[edgeray]

mygod that siren Arlecchino fic you did is *chef's kiss* IMMACULATE!!! might i request a continuation, mayhaps? Arle mentioned that she'd follow the reader as they sail, so maybe she misses them and either tries to climb onto the boat or the pier where they're docked to see them again? either hurt/comfort or fluff, the rest is up to you!!! love your work and thank you for fueling my Arlecchino obsession :] also i might pop back in here once in a while, may i be moth anon?

The Sea's Calling Pt. 2

(Arlecchino x Fem! Reader)

A/N - Part 1 link here. Yes, you definitely can be a moth anon! Hi :D. I already added you to the anon list. To other anons that have requested and I haven't gotten to, I do see your requests and if you gave yourself an emoji/name I already added you ^^. Anyways, back to moth anon. <333 I'm so glad you enjoyed my siren Arlecchino fic! As my first request I was kind of nervous about it but I'm glad that you enjoy! I'm also really glad that you sent this request! I did always want to write a part 2 but didn't have the opportunity until now. Thanks moth anon, for the reuqest and for enjoying my works!!  If you couldn't tell, I love the idea of found family pirates. One Piece did this to me. The ending turned out to be self-indulgent, forgive me moth anon ;) Even though it's short, this ended up being one of my favorites. Hope you like this one! Content warnings / info - monster x human, arle is ooc bc she's a siren, fem! reader bc pt.1 has fem! reader, suggestive at the end, 1.2k words

You used to think that the most beautiful thing out there was the sky and its stars–to you, nothing was more mesmerizing than them. They are so alluring despite holding this mystique, and they've guided humans on their naval journeys and inspired all kinds of stories of their origins. The stars were all that kept you company, even on the lonliest and coldest nights.

Now, however, the stars aren't your only company. 

“Guys, I'm going to go back to the ship. Don't wait up on me too much,” you to your fellow pirates as you stand up from the stool. You drop off some extra coins on the baa counter, in order to compensate for the plate that you will be ‘borrowing.’ You pick up the plate of your half-eaten slice of meat pie and sandwich and head towards the exit before one of your crew mates stops you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“Turning in already? C'mon, stay a little bit. We've got enough money for a few more rounds of beer,” he says with a boisterous laugh. You chuckle lightly but shake your head. 

“No can do, sorry. Got something to do.”

“Uh huh, like your little siren girlfriend?” Another crew member states, her teasing smile widening as you flush. 

“One more? Jackie hasn't finished his story!”

“Let the darned woman go see her darn girlfriend, Goldie,” another gruffed with a shake of his head. 

“Fine, fine, go on ahead. Tch, when will I get my own smoking hot siren girl?” Goldie huffs, and you snort. Likely never, but you don't tell him that.  

“Thanks, I'll be back,” is all you say before rushing out of the door, nearly tipping over the plate before you balance it again. You wave them off and you make your way back to the docks. The walk is both short and long, and each step you take is filled with the excitement that buzzes through you. 

Even after these months, being able to spend time with her feels like bliss, like you have just found treasure. Sometimes, you forget she's a siren, she's ever so endearing and follows you around like a puppy. Oftentimes, when you're on the boat, you talk to her as she lingers by. The night after you first met the siren your crew had banned you from jumping into the waters because you had developed a cold which infected a good chunk of the crew; the cold wasn't severe for anyone but still. Since you can't be in the water, you often just talk to her from the railings and she answers. 

It's only when you're docked when you can finally touch her, but those times come rare. It can take days, sometimes weeks to reach an island to dock at, but when you do, you always take the time to sit by the shore. 

Finally, you arrive at the pier. “Arle?” You call out, and you see a ripple in the water. Grinning, you walk to the ends of one of the docks, setting down the plate a bit away from you. You remove your shoes and set them far away. Perching on the dock, your feet dip into the cold waters and you shiver.

You see something gleam in the corner of your eyes, the familiar shine of her scales. You then remember the food, and you start. “Wait, Arle don't splash–”

Too late. Something erupts from the waters and launches into you, a cold, heavy weight thrusting into your body making you tumble on your back on the dock. Pressed between the wooden planks and the creature that straddles you, you can't help but laugh and raise your hand up to her face, the now drenched food forgotten entirely. 

“Hey gorgeous,” you say as you stroke her cheek gently. She's the most beautiful treasure that you found among the seas. Arlecchino gazes down on you, her red pupils glistering as her arms wrap around your torso. She purrs, little fangs apparent as the tip of her tongue peeks out with her open-mouth smile. 

“Missed you,” is the first thing she says, before she leans her body against you, nuzzling her face into your neck. Your clothes get soaked from her, but you pay no mind. You stroke her wet hair, carding your fingers through her strands before kissing the top of her head. 

“I missed you too. Did you eat recently?” 

Sometimes she'd disappear for a few nights to search for another wandering ship for her meals but she never fails to find your ship again. You haven't seen her for a couple days before you docked her. 

Arlecchino nods. “Human food?” She questions. Her tail flicks, thumping against the wood out of eagerness. Although she enjoys the taste of cooked meats, beef especially, you don't believe it's as nutrition dense as… well, the main source of her diet, and it's hard to serve her cooked meat while on sea due to the issue of storing meat on ships. So, cooked meat has always been a treat for her. 

You nod. “You want to try?” 

She lets out an affirmative purr, and you help her sit upright in your lap. It's always a bit difficult considering she has a tail instead of legs, but she maneuvers her tail to encircle your waist, and you support her back with one of your arms. You silently mourn for your now soggy sandwich as you reach for the plate, using her tail as a flat surface. 

“What is it?” 

“Meat pie and a sandwich.” You take the fork and dig out the meat from the meat pie. Balancing the tender piece of beef on your utensil, you carefully guide it to her mouth. 

“Careful, it's hot. And don't bite the fork this time,” you gently warn her as she eats it. She squirms a bit in your lap, an indicator that she's pleased with the taste. 

“More?” You chuckle, adoring the cute plea in her eyes. 

You scrape out more of the meat until she's eaten all of the pie filling, leaving you to eat the pie crust. You're still peckish, so you start eating your sandwich, but not before fishing out the thick slice of ham from it, and giving it to her. If it meant you could watch the way her expression lights up again forever, then you would endlessly eat ham-less sandwiches and savor every cheese and vegetables sandwiched in between wet bread. 

“Did you like it?” You ask in between chews as she leans her head against your shoulder. She nods, and leans up again to place featherlight kisses on your neck. With the cold droplets of water and her frigid lips, it tickles you and you giggle. So adorable. 

You freeze up when you feel her fangs prick your skin and she looks up to you for permission. Another mating bite? You nod, wordlessly giving her permission, and you suck in a harsh breath as you feel her teeth sink in. Purrs vibrate coarse through her mouth as she pulls away, lapping at the mark and the texture of her tongue invokes a throaty groan from you, your body trembling with pleasure. 

Arlecchino leans away, but in her eyes, hunger burns in them. Her hands take purchase on your hips and she pushes your back against the planks. Her tail unwinds around your torso and instead coils around your ankles, securing them together.  

“H-here?” You question, flushing. Her hands wander lower, the sharp nails trailing lower to your thighs, where faint scratches scatter. 

The night that you first met her, she sang so beautifully for you. Tonight, you repay her back, singing out her name so tastefully. 

[donutsupremacy]

Accidental Desperation (Pt. II)

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Summary:

"Your roommate finds it hard to sleep at night after their dreams were filled with you, and that caused just enough problems for him in his boxers. It seems like there's no other way to get rid of it but to take the matter into his own hands... literally."

Warnings/Spoilers:

Written during 5.0

Featuring the second half of 6reeze (Kazuha, Heizou, Scara/Wanderer)

Modern AU

Gender neutral reader

Possible impr*gn*tion is up to your own assumption

Scara's gonna be called Scaramouche here bc its modern AU (But if u wanna call him smth else be my guest)

And they were roommates shenanigans

PURE UNADULTERATED SMUT

and a bit of fluff lol why not

⚠️ MINORS DNI ⚠️

M*sturb*tion

Voyeurism (I think)

Wet dreams

Perverted 6reeze j*rking off to lewd pictures of you

Cursing

A bit of sl*t sh*ming + D*cryph*lia (Scara)

Praise + Br**ding k*nk (Kazuha)

Unhinged st*lking + P*nty theft and sniffing (Heizou)

I'll die on the 'Scara has a degration kink' hill

Not proofread bc busy and dying

A/N: wELL BETTER LATE THAN NevER

Continuation from Part I

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⚠️MINORS DNI⚠️

Kaedehara Kazuha

Startled awake, Kazuha sat up abruptly and nearly fell off his bed. Hair clinging to his sweaty forehead, face flushed and eyes blown wide, almost out of his socket. Kazuha quickly got up from his bed and made a beeline to his bathroom.

But no matter how many times he splashed his face with water, snippets of his dream just kept appearing.

He didn't know how to stop himself from repeating this... debauchery. About dreaming you underneath him, whimpering and squirming while he breeds you full of his cum like a desperate wolf in heat.

Tears trailing down your eyes as you struggled to speak or even think, only babbling incoherently while he pumps you full. There's nothing more satisfying than to see you filled to the brim with his load. Possibly filled with his babies too.

Kazuha sat back down on his bed right as his phone lit up, he had received a notification from a friend, but he was more focused on the wallpaper of his lockscreen— a picture of you and Kazuha hanging out at a carnival.

It's cute and wholesome... but in reality, his camera roll was either full of cats or pretty sceneries... Or just you alone. And there were almost millions.

He had shamefully jerked off to every one of them.

The latest one was when you sent him a picture of yourself yesterday, wearing his hoodie and his shorts— something about you feeling cold and you being too lazy to wash your dirty clothes. But all he could think about was you wearing his clothing, your oh-so breedable body bare and naked underneath something he always wore.

With a painful erection, Kazuha stared at the seemingly cute and wholesome picture for a good minute, wishing you would've sent a more explicit one. Or just a nude of yourself, that would be indefinitely better.

He's a gentleman, everyone knows how soft, kind and sweet he is... but he couldn't resist masturbating tonight after dreaming himself fucking your brains out. You were asleep anyways, so might as well, he just had to stay quiet...

Discarding his shorts, Kazuha got to work with lazily pumping himself slowly while glancing at your picture every so often.

He imagines himself thrusting his cock into you, showering you with praises. Oh, he knows you'd definitely enjoy it as much as he does. You would tighten around him like a vicegrip after hearing his sweet words, refusing to let him go until he came inside you. He'd leave you nice and full, peppering you with affection.

Outside his door stood you, you wanted to ask Kazuha if you could borrow his hoodie again, your clothes were dirty again and it was late into the night.

Creeps are everywhere at this hour, even at the laundromat. You weren't about to risk that again.

But as you got closer, you heard stifled gasps and groans, unmistakably Kazuha's. His normally soft-spoken voice was too quiet for you to hear anything else, plus the doors and the walls weren't very thin or soundproof. You wonder if he might be sick, which wouldn't be very likely since he's a healthy guy but you're still worried.

You turned the knob and pushed the door open enough for you to enter, calling out for Kazuha with concern, who was still in the middle of building up his climax. But when he heard your voice in the midst of the quiet room, he froze up.

You're standing there, flustered and confused, eyes trained on his flushed face and his hand around his throbbing cock. Well... shit.

"...Well, ah... Th-This isn't... what it looks like..." Kazuha spoke sheepishly.

No point in hiding himself anymore, it's too late, you already saw him butt naked. And vulnerable.

He did his best to stay calm, apologising for being a degenerate and asking if you could leave so he could clean up after himself. He feels as though he has let you down by disgusting you.

But the sound of you closing the door and approaching him startled Kazuha a little. When he saw you sitting down next to him without a word, he wasn't going to complain at all, his fantasy was coming true. Although, he was still embarrassed.

He knew what you were trying to do, but he protested against it, thinking you probably felt obliged to help him just because he was pent up.

You gently swatted his hand away when he tried to let you know you didn't have to, your hand wrapped around his cock. It twitched under your warmth and Kazuha lets out a shaky gasp, his hips struggling to stay grounded and not cum immediately.

"Please... just let me do it for you instead. I know I don't... need to. But I want to."

Shikanoin Heizou

Not again...

This has been going on ever since you both became roommates and he grew obsessive over you, Heizou goes to sleep and frequently wakes up after dreaming of being in-between your legs, thrusting in and out of you rapidly while you're left desperately clutching the nearest surface with weak and shaky hands.

What is this— the 4th time this week? 5th? Maybe even 6th? Probably, Heizou lost count already. Either way, he woke up. And now he's hard for you.

His morals be damned, he's done this probably a thousand times already and it feels so good everytime. It helps Heizou a lot that he had pictures of you on his phone, but Archons forbid that if you ever found out how he got those pictures, you'd probably report him to the authorities.

You're surprisingly oblivious to your surroundings sometimes, it's easy to just slip right into your bedroom and hide under your bed, watching you undress while you ramble to your friend on the phond about whatever was inconveniencing you.

And whenever you were asleep, he would silently creep out, admiring the way your hair spreads across the pillow and the soft snores you emit.

How he'd wish he could just have his way with you you right then and there, but it wouldn't be fair to you and you wouldn't like it. So, as much as he didn't want to waste the opportunity, he'd place a fleeting kiss on your forehead so you'd have a pleasant dream and leave.

With a picture of you in the middle of taking off your clothes that left your bare torso exposed, and a pair of your underwear he had stole on the way out, Heizou had everything he needed.

Boxers down, your photo in one hand, Heizou eagerly wrapped your underwear around his hard cock and groaned at the feeling. You had such great choices for cute and soft underwear, they certainly suit that ass.

Jerking off, Heizou did his best to muffle his moans and unabashed grunts, the fabric of your underwear giving him the relief that his hands never could.

He picked up the pace, furiously pumping his cock against the fabric of your clothing, his hips lifting up and thrusting into his fist. His tongue darting out to lick his lips, wishing it was you he was thrusting into instead of his hand.

Dirty thoughts fill his head, imaging himself bending you over a desk, an iron grip on your hips strong enough to leave a bruise. Your head pressed against the hard surface but not too hard that it would hurt, enjoying the way Heizou was fucking your brains out. Enjoying the way he handles you so gently, yet, so roughly.

And you, sweet summer child, got woken up from the sound of creaking. You noticed it came from the wall that seperated your room from Heizou's, what was Heizou doing this time?

You swore, every night the creaking gets louder and louder, as if whatever Heizou was doing was slowly breaking his bed that he didn't even realize it.

Getting out from your bed, you dragged yourself across the floor. Out of your room, approaching Heizou's. Admittedly, you're head over heels in love with the charismatic rebel you call your roommate... but you also loved sleeping. And you're dead tired right now. It was past midnight.

You knock on Heizou's door, calling out for him and asking him to save whatever he was doing for tomorrow, stating that he was being noisy.

For a moment, Heizou felt his soul leave his body when he heard your voice and the knock on the door. You're on the other side of the door... He grins. You're on the other side of the door.

Instead of hiding himself or asking you to leave, which you were planning to do once he grew quiet, Heizou slowed down to deny the rising climax he had building up in his abdomen.

He calls for your name.

You stopped in your tracks, raising a brow as you glanced back at Heizou's door. When he called out your name a second time, he didn't just call out— he demanded for your presence in a husky tone. A shiver runs down your spine.

As you open the door, hesitantly peeking in, you were met with Heizou sitting by the edge of his bed. Resting his chin on one arm propped on his knee and the held your underwear, being wrapped around his throbbing cock, slowly pumping up and down.

"Waiting for an invitation? Already gave you one~" Heizou cooed, nodding his head towards his cock. You wouldn't say no, not after how much you often talk about him late at night without realizing he was there.

Despite your initial shock and confusion, you obediently closed the door behind you and approached Heizou.

"Well... what'cha waiting for?" Heizou asked in a teasing tone. As endearing as it is seeing you all flustered and embarrassed, he didn't need to push it so far. Right now, he wanted you to get used to his cock before he rails you.

"Uhm... nothing."

Scaramouche

Damn you. Damn you to absolute hell for being hot. That was the first thing Scaramouche thought of when that cursed dream occured again. Not that he'll admit it to being a blessing in disguise.

Even after taking a freezing cold shower, he finds himself still rock hard.

Drying himself, Scaramouche muttered a string of curses after tossing his now wet towel aside. He's way too horny to go back to bed, and he's much too prideful to masturbate like a damn pervert.

He's sitting on the edge of his bed with his shorts down and his throbbing cock out, he couldn't distract himself. No matter how much he tries, all he could think about was how pretty you'd look with your body spread out and exposed on his bed, like a feast for him and only him to devour.

You'd get so aroused as he teased you with his skillful fingers rubbing your insides, hands roaming across your body as he littered hickeys all over you.

Only when you start to writhe and cry would you begin to beg for Scaramouche to fuck you silly, like his perfect cumslut that you are. He'd pump his cock in and out of you, your face half buried into a pillow with his hand pressing your head down, pretty tears flowing down your red cheeks that he'd lean down and kiss away.

Something about you crying from the overwhelming pleasure while he dominates you just turns him on.

There's this constant nagging in the back of his head, telling him to get rid of the problem with his hands now or he'd stay restless. That, or it's just his hard-on aching for some much needed relief. And it needs it desperately.

So that was where Scaramouche is now; Pumping up and down on his shaft as he occasionally peeked at your photos that he took on his phone.

It was just a picture of you laying your head on his lap, fast asleep and his free hand carressing your head. Had you tilted your head a little more to the side, you would bury your face into his crotch. A part of him regrets not giving you a good awakening by stuffing his cock into your mouth, you wouldn't mind it anyways, would you?

Scaramouche tried to tone down his volume, trying oh so hard to not moan too loudly and wake you up. If you caught him jerking off to you, he'd be utterly embarrassed. His ego was far too fragile for that.

Unfortunately, he didn't realize that you were wide awake, about to head out for a midnight grocery trip. Your little snack stash was about to run low, and the store was just right across the road, you're sure Scaramouche wouldn't fret over this.

You're right, he wouldn't. Not when he's busy pumping himself without realizing you're peeking at him through his bedroom door.

At first, you were surprised and a little mortified at first. Archons forbid, you're looking at a guy jacking off.

But that feeling was soon replaced by a disgusting wave of arousal as you heard the indigo haired male barely wheeze out your name. He was close to his climax, and it was because of you.

As much as you wanted to stop, you can't. It's oddly addictive... to see your annoying but hot roommate touching himself to the thought of you, even to the edge of cumming.

Strings of white, hot cum splattered onto Scaramouche's bed, heavy and erratic panting filling his otherwise quiet bedroom. He slumped back down onto his bed, running a hand through his hair.

However, his brief moment of ecstasy and relief was abruptly interrupted when he heard a click from his door. "What—!?" A red tinge appears on his cheeks and ears, hearing your voice mutter out a 'shit!' when you accidentally closed the door too loudly. This damn door keeps snitching on you!

"[NAME]!" You froze outside his door, he's pissed. Very pissed.

As much as you'd like to make a break for it, you knew confrontation was inevitable.

You mustered up as much courage as you could, hesitantly opening the door and taking a step inside. You were caught off guard as a hand grabs the collar of your shirt and getting tugged harshly, your back hitting against the wall next to the door.

"Did you enjoy the show?" Dazed as you were, that voice was unmistakably Scaramouche's. And you bit your tongue to stop yourself from blurting out a yes. "Voyeurism kink, eh? How much more of a slut can you be?"

You stiffened when Scaramouche leaned closer, his breathing ragged and sweat glistening off his skin. Heat pooling in your abdomen, you swallowed thickly as his breath tickled against your nose.

A whimper leaves your throat as the only reply you had, oh... ohh he loved that sound so much... "Cat got your tongue now?" He sneered, letting go of your collar and swiftly lifted one of your legs up to his waist, forcing you to grab onto his shoulders for balance.

"How 'bout you show me how much you like the free show?" He purred, his free hand on your waist, tugging you closer.

"...F-Fine."

[itsjaywalkers]

babe i miss ur rants like crazy so if u have any rant that needs to be indulged this is me indulging u <3333

this actually made me so soft.. i didn't know there was someone who enjoyed my rants so much.. i always feel kinda annoying.. i'm giving u the biggest forehead kiss in the world nonnie YOU'RE THE BEST

this being said . well

lately i've been thinking a lot about this band au i don't know if i'll ever write or if it'll just stay in my head, bc when i first started reading fanfiction i was OBSESSED with band aus and even tho i'm not that into them anymore . they make me feel very nostalgic and happy so i was like u know what . i should come up with my own. AND THAT'S WHAT I DID!!

anyways it's a dual pov, james and lily's!! they used to date, and since james is the lead singer in a very popular band, they were the it couple back then, everyone was fucking obsessed with them, said they were Perfect, peak romance, they wanted what they had etc etc. lily even sang with him sometimes when the band went on tour, bc she has a beautiful voice and all the fans kept pushing for her to join the band and sing all the ballads with james etc

but then . all of a sudden . she disappeared . not literally, you know, she just fucking ran away, without telling a single soul. she didn't even leave a letter to james, or maybe remus, who was one of her best friends. james was devastated, the band was devastated, the whole world was devastated. they went on hiatus for a lil before coming back with a very different vibe and since then . well . no one talks about lily evans . reporters try to bring her up every now and again bc they're nosy fuckers but james goes all stiff and his replies become stilted (even if still perfectly professional)

flashforward to . when the story actually starts . a new band has just debuted and it's rising to fame concernigly quick and james remus sirius and peter are going Crazy bc they feel a bit threatened and also oh would u look at that?? if it isn't sirius' estranged brother in the flesh!! playing the drums for this stupid band who's trying to compete with them!!

and if that wasn't enough !! lily finally returns to their lives............... she's also making a debut but as a soloist.............. and she's very Different from the lily they remember................... her songs are loud and aggressive and filled with resentment and very obviously about james and their relationship and james' friends. she's mean and bold and witty and everyone is Wondering if there was more to her disappearance than what they thought

it'll be jegulus and bartylily <3 and one of the reasons why idk if i'll ever write it it's bc one of the reasons why lily left is that she got pregnant and she didn't want it so she aborted and . we all know how this fandom gets about lily and motherhood lmao

anyways one of the scenes that's been plaguing my mind is this one that happens after lily and barty have started sleeping together and spending more and more time in each other's presence!! they're in barty's flat and barty wakes up at some point in the middle of the night just to discover he's alone in bed. so he wakes up and finds lily sitting at the kitchen table, notebook open, pen in hand and humming under her breath. he hugs her from behind and sees she's writing something new and they talk a lil, bicker some and tease even more, and then barty tells her she should write a song about him and stop dissing that stupid ex bf of hers bc it's getting old. lily laughs and asks him if he wants a cheesy love song and barty cackles and shakes his head and says that he'd rather have one of her dissing songs, bc they're fun and likes it when she gets all mean. besides, the press wouldn't believe her if she wrote something nice or sweet about him bc barty is always getting into scandal after scandal

lily does end up writing a song about barty, dissing him (affectionately except ppl don't know that) and when she first performs it live, she does so while just wearing one of barty's shirts and barty laughs the whole time while sporting the biggest heart eyes known to mankind

[cl00udyyanan]

Oh, you want some angst, huh? 😏

How about gn! Reader who gets tainted by Xiao's karmic debt but decides to not tell him bc they doesn't want to scare him?

But, unfortunately for them, they will not be able to hide their condition for long: they will die in front of Xiao, while suffering and screaming in agony, and he'll can't do anything to stop it, bc there's no cure for it.

love and it's sacrifices

synopsis: love makes you and xiao naive and selfish.

warnings: mc death, description of pain, angst with no comfort

character: xiao

notes: i edited this really late and i can't say it's any good but i hope ppl enjoy anyways

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"you're so silly," your arms wrapped around his slender neck, a smile dancing on your lips as you littered his neck with loving kisses. "i love you too much to let something like that deter me." you rest your head on his shoulder as you spoke.

the sun shone on your glistening skin, warm to the touch. it felt nice- all of this- being in xiao's arms, the wind playing around the two of you as you stood atop one of liyue's mountains. you had begged the adeptus to set aside his duties for once and indulge you in a nice picnic after hearing that he hadn't had one in almost 500 years. you couldn't let an opportunity to bask in the sun with him go. yet, as you were enjoying this moment, something was weighing on xiaos mind,

"you shouldn't be so naive. i've told you countless times that i have karmic debt. its dangerous. im dangerous." his words were softly muttered into the crown of your hair, he sighed, taking in your sacchrine vanilla scent. "...i don't want to hurt you." he moved long strokes against your back, relishing in the comfort you brought him. you felt so soft compared to him and he felt as you were so fragile he would break you.

"xiao, even if i loose my sight, or my lungs shrivel up and i can't breathe anymore. i'll still be by your side and love you all the same. it just makes my life all the more worth it."

he knew how stubborn you were and that no matter how much he wanted you to change your mind, you wouldn't. maybe he could be selfish just this once and bring you with him into his melancholy reality rust was his immortal life. he had a slimmer of hope that you could break his curse and maybe you'd be that one person who would stay by his side.

how naive he was.

one chilling night, xiao was out fufling his duties - and he had left you home alone. when he was gone, you would take short walks around the inn, the serenity of the flowing water and bright laterns gave you a relaxing feeling, which was something you seldom felt these days. night were longer and days were shorter with your chest constantly growing heavier with each breathe and every step you take more painful than the other. you never thought your adeptus boyfriend's debt to be real until you'd spend lonely nights sobbing at how your body burned, after having kept a facade all day to xiao that you were okay. that he wasn't slowly killing you every time he was near you.

you resented him, but you mostly resented yourself for lying to him. telling xiao you were okay when you were fucking not.

"hah-ha" your chest stung as you gripped at it as you were huddled over on the ground ears ringing your head being tugged and pulled by the horrid sensation. a dark swirl of green had surround you, enveloping you in a suffocating anguish. 'xiao' his name rolled of your tongue like a silent plea that you incoherently babble over and over, but your begs turned into whistles in the air. just when the pain began, it was over.

xiao had found you, passed out on the wood flooring the next morning, his eye wide and brows kneaded with concern. you'd simply told him that the wood was seemingly comfortable that night, he'd shrugged it off as 'weird human behavior'. you never told him what happened that night, leaving it as a bitter memory that'd bring you to tears on your pillow in the night.

since then, days begun to feel longer; the sun lost its shine and the moon seemed to mock you high up in the sky. you'd give it a longing look at the wee hours of the night, pondering endlessly.

was it worth it? the question would come up every now and then.

of course it was, you respond.

your stomach churn and grind, your legs turn into lead as you plummeted onto jagged ground, the grass cradling your abused body. eyes bleary as you hyperventilated. you said- no- screamed his name with winded breath. uncontrollable sobs falling from you. your body burned with a gnawing feeling, like your whole body was being spilt and torn in half. the draft of air became all too familar, that suffocating feeling returned, you felt the weight of all of your sins crawl through you. not only yours, but his. his karmic debt that you oh so tried to deny that was real. yet, every waking day when a sense of yours slowly deplted, your eyes sight worsening and blurrying, your hearing weakened and smells that you once loved had nothing but an empty sense of joy, inside you knew, that it was his karma affeccting you. you had turned into a product of his sins, he'd never be able to truly love someone, and you were so foolish to think you could defy the law of the adepti. that the rule didn't apply to you,.

you were naive just as he said, and you'd pay for your ignorance.

"no-no...please" xiao stumbled over to your mutturing and confused body. his knees scraping against the terrain as he pulled your body to his. you clutched to his shirt, shouting into his chest. he cupped your face, searching all over at your tormented expression. your face was red, stress lines scattered as you babbled and scream into him.

your cries became louder, the pain you felt was something no human should ever experience, and in his attempt to console you and save you. his presence made the air thicker, your lungs completely overtaken by his dark energy. you clawed at his shirt, practically ripping it open. you wanted to thrash at him, blame him for what he had done to you. he couldn't understand the horrendous feeling it was what he was causing.

"yn..." he spat your name out like venom, his cheeks red with anger and eyes full of tears. "why didn't you listen to me?" he shrieked, his fists balled up to your collar as he curled over your weakened corpse. he watched as the color left your skin that once glistened in the sun, your eyes soulless as m tears that had flown down your checks were dry. the yakshas's yells turned into quiet sobs, as he slowly realized what he has caused. darkness devoured him whole, eating at his heart and his mind. his light faded in his arms, it was then he became a husk of a man with no drive left in him. his motivation and ambition, his love and reason for living died in his arms.

he was left alone again in the world with only his debt to console him.

[tethrras]

finally sorted out lavinia's background lore UNDER THE CUT FOR ANYONE WHO IS INTERESTED

she joined the city guard instead of the chantry/templars right away because she's like i wanna make a Real Change and convince criminals to Stop their Evil Deeds in the heat of the moment by Appealing to their Sensibilities. and then she mostly gets guard duty on the outskirts of town lol. and bc she's trained with a bow she only does stuff from a distance and literally stands on guard towers by herself all night so she has a LOTTTT of time to think. but she keeps at it because she wants to make a difference like her sister is and is hoping to actually get promoted to guard captain or something. she believes her sister is fulfilling the maker's duty by being a templar and is probably making the templar order better bc her sister namepending is so level-headed and dedicated and loyal and etc etc and probably Inspires all the templars around her (even though she's just a low-ranking lackey)

and then through the years both her sisters (one templar one mage) and then i think one of her brothers are talking about how rough the circles are and how much worse it's getting (i think namepending is at kinloch or the gallows or somewhere super bad and then her other sister is in ostwick but they don't get along) and then ofc there's everything with the mage templar war. namepending becomes disillusioned with the templars esp after hearing about the right of annulment being pulled in kirkwall and everything that happened. maybe she came into contact with hawke... MUCH to think about. anyway namepending ended up being killed because of the mage-templar war about a year before inquisition and lavinia was like well fuck there's no solution and i have so many ideas and i want to be part of the reason these people stop arguing. and she kept asking a family member or friend of the family to let her join the templar order officially and then he kept being like fuck off you're 26 and have no training and it's the midst of the mage-templar war we're not going to take you. and then she was like take me to the conclave and i'll show you how passionate and dedicated i am to fixing this please!!!!! i'm begging you!!! and the guy was undecided but then lavinia's dad was like come on Old Friend let her come... so she did go and then. well. :)

i think having a sibling who is a mage and hearing her nonmage sister sympathize with mages did a lot for her mage sympathy and i think she was definitely on the side of circles being Relaxed but idk if she was fully for mages being completely free bc You Know. she's a chantry girl and the chant says no. so idk where that leaves her during inquisition lol i still haven't figured it out. idk if she'd ally with the mages to help them clear their name as a group or if she'd ally with the templars to a) help reform them and b) because she knows that they have anti-magic powers and that it might be more useful to close the breach than have a bunch of stressed out mages be close to rifts and closer to demons. so I DON'T KNOW I'M STRESSSSSED. but yeah that's what you guys all missed on glee! :)

[lesless]

well anyway I had meant to write out additional thoughts the other day but I never got around to it, so here we goooo

I am very much a person who enjoys a good home remedy, so I try them a lot & have had extremely mixed results. About 6? months ago, maybe more, I was starting to have consistent skin problems for the first time in my life. I have always gotten a zit or two, but I was getting several, puss-filled, painful, or deep cystic pimples. I stopped vaping (except when I drink, which has been 1/week max) in very early October. I also added in exercise, vitamins over the last 3-ish weeks however my skin was still unhappy. Past home remedies include:

rice water spray, which left my skin really happy & glowing but seemed to kick up small whitehead acne after 4-5 weeks

tallow, which again made my skin happily hydrated at first but then seemed to encourage really deep, painful pimples

tea water, which felt nice but didn't seem to do anything at all

Ice, which may have momentarily soothed bigger bumps but ultimately did nothing for the duration or pain

I also purchased some 'nice' skin care & a facial package, neither of which seemed to budge the needle at all. My skin looked & felt & was acting up just the same regardless of what I tried.

-brief aside-

About a month ago my stomach was swollen & painful as it often is because my intestines suck. I was googling home remedies & read about castor oil, which felt like snake oil to me. When I was at the health food store I saw it on the shelf for $7 & I thought to myself, that is not much to spend on being stupid & if it helps I will be relieved. So I did the stupid thing & poured some in my belly button & slapped a wash rag over it & secured it with my pajama waistband & went to bed. It worked to my amazement, but I thought it was a fluke, so I kept doing it, & it kept working, so I have been pouring it into my bellybutton & rubbing my stomach with it before bed every night for 3 weeks & for 3 weeks I poo every day lol. It is not a miracle, when I have food flares I still wake up swollen (less so but still), it did not fix all of my issues overnight but it did seem to make things move along at a more predictable pace. My belly skin was also super soft there when I woke up. I read about an hour of testimonials against it bc I was trying to talk myself out of it working, but it works, so I'll keep doing it even if it's just placebo effect.

While reading about it I came across several people who stated that it was also great for acne. Well now nothing has seemed to work, so I though whatever, let's try it. For a 3 days I put a very minimal amount on my face & woke up moisturized with diminished pimples! I haven't gotten a new one (aside from teeny tiny white heads that wipe off when I dry my face) & the old, big, painful lumps & dark spots are nearly gone. :3 It has been a week now and I will say that while at first it was acting as a very heavy moisturizer, now it seems to be drying my skin out so I am using hyaluronic acid beforehand.

I hesitate to recommend this for the face just yet, because often a thing can appear to be good for a week or so but end up causing a huge problem. Also, everyone is different. My friend SWORE by rice water but it just didn't agree with my skin. It could also be that I am nearly 2 months into greatly reducing my nicotine use. There are a lot of factors at play, but for now at least I am relieved that I have something that seems to be soothing my skin.

[thegeminisage]

tng update time. last night we did "the child" and today i did "where silence has lease"

the child: GOOD. FUCKINGGGGG. LORD

first of all, i watched this after having been awake since 4am and working all day and then getting hate mail on my fanfics. i was so sleep deprived it's unreal. i dissolved into hysterics multiple times

the first time i think was after deanna got impregnated. i did say with my real mouth "i hope it's riker" and then regret it because i didn't actually hope that but truly i think we would have been better off

the second time i can't really remember. i think it was after the kid talked the first time. immediately my primal instincts screamed at me that the child was unholy and unnatural. anyway both times we had to pause for several minutes in order for me to collect myself

why did we have to have a meeting in front of all deanna's peers talking about the changes in her body and whether or not she should get an abortion...like im with worf, abort that thang, but what the fucj

at first i was kind of excited that dr crusher would be leaving because she is an exhausting character to contend with. now i realize i was a fool. with no dr crusher and no tasha yar deanna troi has to take on the role of Every woman. i made a joke in which the punchline was the mother the son and the holy spitroast but i don't think it's as funny without the leadup

also, on the replacement dr: i hate her forever for being mean to data. first mispronouncing his name and then being like ehhh who cares when corrected AND THEN being like wow this bag of bolts can actually get his feelings hurt! i'll kill her

am pleased to say i recognized her from tos not because of her face but because of her voice. score one for the ol' voice acting ear

anyway i kept going i be BEVERLY (upgraded from dr crusher) could have saved deanna's satan baby because at least she can FUCKING PRONOUNCE DATA'S NAME RIGHT. i hope beverly left because picard wouldn't stop making eyes at his ex it would serve him right

wesley was fine in this episode for once.

HIIII GUINAN HIIIIIIII wow she looks so young. just like in sister act, the primary thing i know her from. weird to have her playing shrink to wesley this entire time but i'm sure we'll get more from her later

anyway having deanna speedrun motherhood in 36 hours Because She's A Woman made me for the first time consider skipping some episodes on tng. but i couldn't do my skip/watch list that way so i will SIGH persevere.

where silence has lease: im blogging this as i go. first of all since the first few seconds of this have no dialogue i was excited and thought we were about to get a whedon-eqsue no-dialogue episode but alas. no.

secondly. "im worried about riker AND worf there are certain elements of the klingon psyche its best to be ignorant about" like girl are they fucking?? not quite but almost. riker was sooo dirty. paused the episode to inform cathy of this and got this gem

anyway, the skeleton prosthetics were good but i ca already feel that this is going to be a "klingons are so big and scary and savage" kind of racism day

worf automatically gaslighting himself about the klingon legend is SO sad especially bc we as viewers KNOW its gotta be true. get vored idiots

why is wesley always on the bridge now instead of geordi...is he just always in engineering now? that is Too sad

THIS BITCH JUST CALLED DATA "IT"?????????????? I WILL KILL HER MYSELF

like i cannot believe she is doubting DATAS ABILITY TO DO HIS JOB more than the fucking SIXTEEN YEAR OLD sitting next to him just bc wesley is human and data isnt. ill fucking kill her. i never thought id say this but i miss beverly

jonathan frakes has asked lots of questions this episode

this freaky ass unreality void thing that doesn't actually exist is sooooo fucking cool. stuff like this is what i like about scifi...sometimes the scifi premise is stupid but sometimes it fucks

WHATEVER RIKER AND WORF HAVE GOING ON IN THIS EPISODE. IS GAY. riker telling him to pull himself together and worf repeating his words from earlier...prolonged eye contact...i wish tng was like this all the time

actually riker is kinda fun in this episode...he keeps giving orders without waiting for picard's okay and he is soooo upset when he gets back from that freaky ship

WHOA THAT CGI FACE WAS FREAKY AND BAD

LMAOOO AT THIS ALIEN GOING AFTER THE DR FOR BEING FEMALE. WHEN DEANNA IS RIGHT THERE. like "your contruction is different" not to the half betazoid or the klingon but to the WOMAN. well if anyone deserves it

wow. love that they got ordered to fuck nasty on the bridge <3 riker and worf should volunteer

SIGHHH of course they kill the random black guy redshirt

started to have respect for picard when once again he was willing to blow up the ship rather than submit to enemy will but then he ruined it by going eeeh idk riker how much time do YOU think we need before the self-destruct? like how much time do they need to prepare to die?? and then riker was like uhh idk 20 minutes? like if you're gonna do it just do it. jesus christ. don't even tell them first it's so much kinder. there are FUCKING children aboard

AND HES JUST GONNA SIT IN HIS QUARTERS AND LISTEN TO MUSIC? INSTEAD OF COMFORTING PEOPLE OR DOING HIS JOB? it's always one step forward two back with this show

THOSE FREAKY HALLUCINATIONS TRICKED ME...it's just like data to ask about death. but it wasn't him!!

the ending to this was actually a little anticlimactic but i did enjoy the journey. too bad it wasn't a big klingon ship eating monster though

one down, five to go 😤

[respitelocklyre]

I made the cheer squad!!! I have a lil more to say but that's the important bit- updates under the cut like always ✨

Cheer tryouts were waaay different than i expected!! I kind of thought it'd be a big ordeal but it was just me and one other freshman who tried out, so we were obvs accepted lol Not that we wouldn't have made it in anyways since we both looked fucking great!! Especially considering I haven't even done any of those moves since last fall. The squad is pretty small and i don't think they do competitive stuff but that's fine, we never did in high school either. I'm more interested in getting to know the rest of the silkball team we'll be cheering on, if the try-outs were any indication of what's to come 🤭 There's this cute owl-guy I might have my eye on- i think he works at the tavern too!!

Oh yeah, i also got the work-study at the tavern! I figure i'll just quit if i don't like it lol but anyways come say hi if ur on campus- i promise you'll recognize me on sight. I'm pretty easy to spot hehe

Oh oh oh and congrats to Mire for getting on the team too!! and for scoring some points with their crush (they can thank me later~). I wonder if they're gonna be able to play well while being cheered on lmaaooo

Classes have been fine, but tbh i haven't rlly been able to pay attention to them since i've been busy partying, meeting new people, and adjusting to life on campus! It's kinda overwhelming, my contacts have like doubled since i got here. And everything is like...way different, yknow? Obvs I didn't think it'd be the SAME as high school, but the vibes are soooo different is all. idk what to make of it all yet but i know that im LOVING being away from home and enjoying my freedom so far <3 Cathy told me the first month or so would probably be rlly hard but idk what she was talking abt bc no one grounds me for waking them up when i get home at 2 am and not even the raven queen can stop me from eating icecream for dinner now.

+++++

In reality, this party was kind of lame, even as Respite typed otherwise to his friends— they'd opted to ditch him for a studying session, so he sure as hell wasn't going to let on that the party was anything but lit. They had a feeling most of them probably wouldn't care, but Willow might feel a touch regretful, so the lie was worth it.

After sending the message to the group chat and briefly checking tinder for any new DMs or matches— maybe he could escape this place and turn the night around— to no avail, they pocketed their phone. How annoying. They rolled their eyes and leaned against the wall, taking a slow sip at the drink they’d been nursing for the past hour. Respite wasn’t really a fan of drinking on the best of nights and all they had to offer here was shitty beer. After a moment of pouting and observing the dimly lit room, they turned and parted the dusty, moth-eaten curtain to look out the window again.

If anyone had noticed the way Respite kept flitting out to the porch or the front window, no one said anything. They did try to keep it discreet, at least, and simply worked it into the way they naturally made the rounds every now and then to talk to different people or get another drink. He liked to move around a lot at parties anyways to make sure that he saw everyone's faces and said hi to them all.

On the opposite side of the spectrum was Mettie, who, shortly after arriving and greeting a few people, had taken an edible or something and parked himself outside on the porch. From there, he seemed to be spending most of his time at the party smoking with other people who needed some fresh air and enrapturing (ensnaring?) them with his long-winded conversation. Respite wasn't sure if this had been his goal when agreeing to come to the party, but it had been the result.

It dawned on Respite slowly that they hadn't really seen Mettie at a party like this before. Well, okay— they'd seen Mettie at one or two big house parties in passing, but they'd never actually spent much time watching him. He’d been the dealer for about 75% of their high school (it was a devastating loss to the community when he’d done his year abroad), so it was hard not to run into him from time to time at parties. But in high school, he was mostly regarded as weird and off-putting. People got what they wanted from him and were generally polite, but it wasn't like he was always invited to stick around. And when he was, it did usually end up like this— he'd put himself in a less populated corner somewhere and make puzzling conversation with those willing to listen.

In their hometown, it had felt like everyone else tolerated it because Mettie was a valuable resource. They knew his penchant for rambling, though, and tried not to engage— Respite himself included.

They couldn't place the feeling as they watched Mettie from the window now, with a handful of people gathered around him, held captive by the way he spoke. These people weren't just being polite, either. They were listening— sometimes even smiling and laughing with him. Sure, they were probably stoned too, but that hardly mattered. It's not like this was the first time it had happened since he’d learned Mettie was also attending Strixhaven. At their cafe shift, during orientation, and at the career fair...things were clearly different here.

A couple of years ago, Respite never would've invited Mettie to a house party with him. It would've been social suicide— he knows; he'd thought about it once early on and didn't even get far enough to invite Mettie before the ridicule started up— and though it had taken a lot to fight against their instinct, they needed to test their theory: Did people here actually like Mettie's company? This party seemed to confirm it for the positive.

In Respite's mind, the jury was still out on whether or not Mettie was cool, but at the very least it seemed like no one was going to corner him in the bathroom and interrogate him about why they saw him talking to the freak who looked like he was one bad day away from shooting up the school (untrue, of course, and tasteless in a way only teenagers could be, but Respite had forced out a laugh at the time).

There was a feeling of relief in that. In knowing that neither of them would be under constant scrutiny from peers and adults alike. Being unknown was freeing in some ways.

But there was a dread in it, too. In losing the structure Respite had spent years delicately building the pieces of their identity around.

A memory from when they were kids came to mind unbidden, of the time Respite had accidentally knocked over one of Mettie's earliest sculptures. It had been unsteady and the base made of air-dry clay toppled easily when Respite bumped the dresser in a fit of energetic excitement, sending it crashing to the ground. The roughly attached bits and bobs came loose and scattered across Mettie's bedroom floor, transitioning from art to disjointed pieces without purpose or clarity in an instant.

For what it was worth, Mettie had taken it in stride even as Respite desperately crawled under his bed with a flashlight to gather everything, apologizing and promising to help him glue it back together. After staying quiet for some time, he'd declared it an act of fate that only added to the piece and gave it new meaning. Respite didn't understand, but they'd been so terrified of being yelled at that they nodded in agreement even as their cheeks were pink from crying. They still attempted to fit some of the pieces back together until Mettie insisted they just put it in an empty shoe box so that he could make something new of it. To this day, Respite had no idea if Mettie had ever fixed it, restructured it, or simply left it as a memorial in his closet.

They wrinkled their nose up at the unwarranted assault of a flashback. Clearly they'd been hanging around Mettie too much already if their thoughts were starting to get this metaphorical. He downed the last of his warm beer, hoping the bile on his tongue would force him to refocus on the party.

[the-travelling-witch]

it's me again, the one who sent that long ask yesterday! saw your reply only now ugh ;-;

first of all thank you for taking your time to reply, you're so sweet :3

now, on the topic at hand (i'll try to keep it short lol) yes indeed! i agree with all the beautiful things you said, the scenarios just looked wholesome ♡v♡

i do think that, since the boys all have different personalities, so will their cuties: who's flirty and who's shy, who's a little brat/menace and who enjoys quiet times, who's a constantly tired and done-with-everythinh one and who's the "mommy friend" (meant as the one who takes care of everyone else, gender neutral all the way for everyone to enjoy <3), so i think they would also make an amazing group BUT!! most and foremost, i like to think they would all team up against the 6reeze boys cuz flustered boys >>>>>>>>>

and lol, i can clearly imagine the boys on a night out ending all up red and shy after their rambles and being teased like there was no tomorrow so they're all quiet and it's like a contest like "who talks first is the most down bad" PFFT-

anyway, thanks again for reading and replying to this if you will and good luck with college, i hope everything will go smoothly so then you can relax properly and enjoy your time out ^v^

bye bye, take care, dear witch~

— ❄️ anon.

[in response to this]

hi again!! thanks for taking the time to send in detailed asks!! i‘m sorry for making you wait but,, college ㅠㅠ narrator voice: things are not going smoothly

[this is what is in my head currently and is not to be taken as the absolute truth as to how the reader characters may behave in future fics]

yeah, i do believe that everyone has their own personalities for sure; kazuha’s partner could be the mom friend, it goes with the florist vibe but archons above, help the person who speaks ill about their friends/ kazuha, they have another thing coming

from what i wrote, xiao’s partner might be on the shyer side (we‘ll see about that when i get around for a part 2), which might make it harder in the talking phase bc both of them seem like they’d overthink things, but together they’re just wholesome <3 hc they’re both prone to rbf though, so they look intimidating af when you see them around

scara‘s partner might not be as shy as the people above, just bc they’re quiet doesn’t mean they won’t tell you their opinion; i think they could be the „they asked for no pickles“ friend, sticking up for the people they care about if needed; also, they’re bantering with scara all day, they’re sharp-tongued for sure

for heizou, aether and venti i‘m not sure yet; i could see all of them with someone extroverted and flirty, especially heizou to match his vibe, but i‘m also a big fan of opposites attract, soo… no further comment >///<

the studio has just become some sort of central meeting place at this point, so there’s always a high chance someone is there to meet up with and depending on the combination of people there, things can go in several directions (xiao and kazuha’s partner + aether = chill; scara’s partner + heizou + venti = chaos)

on a night out, they probably do that thing where they put all their phones in the middle of the table and the first one to reach for it/ get a message or call has to pay, bc we all know they have everyone muted but their precious partner (scara stopped telling his partner about it bc they kept calling him on purpose just to mess with him; they settled on him inviting them out in exchange for not making him lose) + everyone immediately scrambling for their phone after the rule is lifted to text you is just funny to imagine

modern au series

[nathank77]

11/2/24

12:31 p.m

I went to the gym. Idk if I'm going to join. It's expensive. And I mean as stupid as this sounds I love my body the way it is. As much as I'd love to be cut and be thinner and fit into my skinny jeans.... I was happy at 200 pounds. I'm happy at 175.

Yea I want to hit 165 or 160 and fit into my pants but money is an issue.

Pros:

1) I'll lose weight

2) I'll get muscular and finally be the "best" version of myself. Like I said I'm truly happy with my weight and my body.

3) my chlorestoral will go down bc If I go im running 3 days a week, 60 minutes 2 days a week and 40-50 minutes the third day.

4) Just one session helped with my anxiety today....

Cons:

1) Money.....

2) it's a commitment and as nice as it was, it hurts and I mean it's not fun running. I kept asking myself why do people enjoy this? But then i thought about my waist line and my chlorestoral.

3) The Statin has no chance...

When I think about why I want to be cut and have a thinner waist line. It isn't to impress people honestly. I think I'm damn good looking and Idk whats wrong with people.

The reason I want to thin down a little and be cut is my entire life, most of it i had to pretend to be someone else. And since being able to have my inside match the outside... and having lost weight from dieting being cut and thin like I was in 2016 is possible... and as good as I looked then, I look better now bc of my beard and facial structure and whatever.

My ex and I used to go to the gym and that's when i was my thinnest and the most cut but it was her membership and we ended up quiting.... I didn't want to. But yea... at the time I was addicted to the gym. I loved it bc everytime I went i saw noticeable changes.

Anyways i obv need to lower my chlorestoral. It's dangerously high. I'd quit cigarettes but idk what my vice would be... it can't be weed...and I'm very lonely. I feel invisible. Like I'll never find a gf and like no one cares about me..

It was nice being away from the poison ivy house. And being away from the dog. And my mother. And having something to do. But it's expensive.

Sleep was awful last night. Real bad. I was scared I was going to have to pull an all nighter... I'll have to worry the next couple days cause I had to take more xanax and I could tonight worst case but absolutely not tomorrow if I need it tonight...

I also think what's the point in going to the gym and bettering myself when no one is going to see me anyways. When I'm a no one and no one will date me as I am.

Part of me is like go on that trip...and end it all.

Also idk if the statin is going to work ever since starting it and I only took it once, my forearm/Wrist has been in pain. BEFORE the gym... like 12 hours after taking it my wrist where my ganglion cysts is started to hurt and it hasn't stopped.

So idk what to do. I was supposed to take it Friday but I skipped it. Now that I worked out one day, especially if I continue... I'll always have slightly sore muscles and the statin has no chance bc I'll blame it all on the statin. idk what to do.. all I know is my diet is pretty decent. It must run in my family....

[grungeeuvu]

Hi hello <3

Thank you for making our day <3

Take this as a free pass to info dump ab anything you'd like :3 (not exactly in the post, but follow the sport not the word of the law <3333)

Glad you liked my ask!! :D

Im gonna go ahead and info dump about some ocs, so forgive me mutuals haha, I'll crop it dw

Anyways, below is the wip story of my ocs Isaac, Christopher and Robin. It's a looooooooooooooong document haha

WARNINGS AHEAD FOR S*ICIDE IDEATION THAT WON'T BE FULLY CENSORED i cant remember if that's a trigger for you, anx, so I'm warning you (and anyone else) here

tbh, anx, you may remember them a little from that server we're both on - i used to talk about them a lot in my channel before i kinda died and became inactive haha but THEY'RE BACK AND I LOVE THEM!!!!

This is going to be a liiiittle incoherent, simply because I'll be copypasting things over but I'm not very good at typing infodumps so please accept this haha

SO

we've got three brothers :)) Robin (13) and his older twin brothers, Isaac (16m, older twin) and Christopher (16m, younger twin)

Some photos/art for ref :)) Ftr, Christopher is also a massive redhead, like his twin, but for reasons I am about to explain, he dyes his hair brown at the beginning. Here's a colour of his two hair colours, in case that helps!! it's just a digital version of the headshot above but it looks very nice imo sooooo....

The brothers are orphaned - when the twins were barely two and Robin still a baby, they appeared on the steps of a foster care group home in the middle of the night. Despite police investigation into their heritage lasting for years, to the point where they tested the children's DNA, no blood relations could be found, alive or dead. At first, the brothers were raised in the group home due to the investigations taking place but, once the investigation is over, they still stay a little longer bc the workers are worried about separating them so soon, especially due to how attached the twins are to each other and Robin.

Sadly, this is the fatal flaw. Things begin to go very wrong in their relationship from this point on.

Isaac has very good memory and is able to recall absurdly specific events from ages ago: one of these memories is the memory of their parents waking them up late at night, a long journey, and then being left at the foster home. No one else remembers this and he ended up having every aspect of it questioned and drilled by investigators to the point he could recite it in his sleep. The fact no one else can remember this makes him feel isolated in his grief and then angry: why should he have to bear the burden of these final moments? why did he have to remember being abandoned? His mind is torn between old, comfortable memories of parents long ago, their betrayal and then the intimidating interrogation from police officers, and this only makes him furious. None of his brothers will know what he remembers, no matter how hard they try, it is a burden only he can carry alone. This feeling of isolation makes him grow angry and bitter. He starts distancing himself from not just his brothers but people in general about the age of six. Any foster home he gets put into, he's standoffish and avoidant at best, or aggressive and runs away at worst. Before he's even turned nine, they decide it's best to keep him in the foster care home until he 'levels out'. He's stayed in the group home since he was about eight and a half.

Christopher was doing alright until Isaac began to distance himself and cut him out. Almost immediately after their relationship suffered, Christopher's mental state took a huge blow. He'd stop talking entirely to people and would try hide away from mealtimes so he wouldn't have to see anyone. Out of concern for his mental health, he was kept in the group home, in his own room, while Isaac was being put in foster homes. The carers tried to keep Robin with him as best as possible so they'd bond but a flip had turned in Christopher's head. At age 9, he tried to run away in the middle of the night and get onto a road. Thankfully, someone saw him and called the police, sending him back. After that he was put through a lot of therapy sessions that he didn't really interact with, meaning he was now distanced from his brothers further. No one ever told Robin about the therapy or mental health issues. When Isaac returns permanately to the group home, the twins are made to share a room. Their relationship is permanently estranged. Through all this, Christopher ends up developing a lot of depression and anxiety, making him retreat further into a bubble until all most people can perceive is apathy.

Meanwhile, we have Robin. Too young to remember their parents and without Isaac's sharp memory, he only really recalls the group home. His earliest memories are of the twins loving and caring for him, but the next thing he knows is that neither talk to him. Like Isaac, he develops abandonment and rage issues, but they manifest differently. Isaac's rage and hatred is in the form of vitriol and cruel words - he's perfected the sneer+silent treatment -, whereas Robin comes out in shouting and trying to fight. He's younger and more emotional and, since no one really tells him shit, he's simply just really confused. For similar reasons to the twins, he isn't allowed to leave the group home either, and gets a room to himself (very small repurposed office) at the age of ten.

SO NOW WE'VE ESTABLISHD THAT THEYRE ESTRANGED, TIME FOR BEGINNING DYNAMICS!

ROBIN + ISAAC: They do not get along. Isaac, due to remembering being left, blames a lot of it on Robin, for an array of reasons (Robin caused financial issues, Robin was too much to look after, etc. He has no evidence for any of these claims but just wants something to blame it on). He thinks Robin is childish and stupid, so wastes little time on him. Robin views Isaac with a sense of hurt + fury: since Isaac was the eldest, he used to look up to him when they were growing up until he finally figured out Isaac was relentlessly cruel to him for no reason. He felt betrayed by this and bitterness turned to loathing. He argues with Isaac over nothing to try and prove a point, but this only increases Isaac's belief that he's stupid and immature.

ROBIN + CHRISTOPHER: There is a void where their relationship should be. They never spoke much as children, esp after Christopher began to go through confidential therapy. Robin's pissed about how all of Christopher's popular friends would bully him and Christopher, even when there, did nothing but watch. Meanwhile, Christopher doesn't know what to do with Robin - he's old enough now to want to reconnect but feels he's destroyed his own bridges long ago and can't figure out what to do about it. He has no idea what Robin likes/dislikes and deems it best to ignore these problems instead of addressing them, so they can remain in this bubble where Robin is 'happier' without his input. When Isaac and Robin fight, Christopher either leaves the room or just half-watches while on his phone: he's too scared of confrontation to stop the fight and feels none of them like him enough to care: he's partially convinced that they don't view him as their brother.

ISAAC + CHRISTOPHER: Used to be very close, due to being twins, but quickly fell apart when their mental issues played up and Isaac has to leave. When he returned, they'd both changed so much that they both saw the other as 'not who he used to be' and either despised it (Isaac) or wallowed in self-imposed grief over it (Chirstopher). As they got older, Isaac cut himself off from his peers, staying inside to play video games, and Christopher became popular, falling into crowds of people for some kind of social connection he was never brave enough to properly make. Although they share a room at the orphanage, they rarely talk to each other aside when it's necessary. They don't hate each other but they treat each other more as acquaintances than identical twins. However, after witnessing Christopher's suicide attempt at the age of 10 (nothing happened ftr, Isaac walked in on Christopher standing on a chair with a noose. they stared at each other then both silently packed everything away, never speaking a word of it again), Isaac is convinced it's his fault Christopher wants to die and believes he carries blame for it (this isn't true). While on the surface they seem fine, both are scared of addressing their issues or bringing up the trauma of their pasts, leaving their relationship half-solved and emotionally soulless.

Above is an ANCIENT robin and isaac comic from all the way back in 2022 - first comic i ever drew, fun fact :)) it's shit but I'm still fond of it!! planning to remake it one day :D

This isn't plot related, it's just a song analysis i did for Christopher back in 2022 which i still think about regularly :))

Be Nice To Me The Front Bottoms - annotated by Book One Christopher

I got boulders on my shoulders Collarbones begin to crack -Christopher slowly breaking under the pressure of being in a new world There is very little left of me And it's never coming back -This relates to how much he twisted himself to fit into the mould the popular people wanted, despite how much it killed him There are certain things you ask of me And there are certain things I lack In the beginning, we were winning But now I'm just making up facts -Him to Isaac: they used to be so close but not anymore and he has no idea what to do about it, except for pretending it's fine

What's it matter anymore? If you believe the lies I tell -Christopher feels like he doesn't need to seek help for his mental health if everyone believes he's fine and he digs himself a deeper hole There's no meaning to the words But we still sing these songs well If we all left it alone I'm sure it'd work itself out fine -Christopher's avoidance problem with his twin, his attitude of "if we don't address the distance and differences, they don't exist" We keep playing with the numbers We are running out of time We are running, we are running

But you're a killer And I'm your best friend -Christopher knowing how Isaac's so cruel, especially to Robin, and letting him get away with it Think it's unfair, your situation -Him scared to shout at Isaac bc he knows where he's coming from and what he remembers You say I'm changing Sorry, I didn't know I had to stay the same -Christopher dealing with Isaac's brutality with apology and sidestepping the problems Could we talk about this later? Your voice is driving me, driving me insane -Him just wanting to run away from it all and never have to bother with the stress Isaac puts on him when he lashes out

Well, I try to write you poems, but the words, they don't make sense -Christopher to Robin, struggling to express his sentiment and love My hand tries to grip the pencil, but the fingers are too tense -He tries to apologise to Robin but feels like he physically can't And I try to show emotion, but my eyes won't seem to wet -Him struggling to show even an ounce of emotion to Robin, despite caring about him a lot And I'd love to tell you stories, but I can't remember how they went -He wants to be there for him but, every time he tries, he messes up or fails one way or another, or just thinks he hasn't done it right You're a flashlight in a dark room for the loneliest blackout You were all we had left after it all was filtered out -Christopher views Robin so highly, despite the groggy and miserable world the three live in. He believes Robin is his and Isaac's greatest gift, even though he knows he's ruined it Turn you on in a dark room right before we both pass out Turn you on when I need you, but the batteries ran out -How he feels like he ignored Robin and, now even if he needs him, if he tried to talk to him he feels like Robin wouldn't respond or even care to look at him

They ran out and you're a werewolf and I'm a full moon -He knows Robin's angry and that his apparent apathy doesn't help, only firing his brother up more And all your very worst enemies will be gone soon -He knows Robin views him as an enemy and this is Christopher thinking over the suicide he wants so badly to commit I think you're changing Don't worry, you don't gotta stay the same -His desperateness to seem supportive to Robin, even if Robin's being self-destructive with his rage Could we talk about this later? Your voice is driving me, driving me insane -Robin's hostility and cruel words slowly making Christopher crumble and break down

ANYWAYS!!! i wont add anymore haha i feel bad for how long this is :')) TYSM FOR THE ASK!! IT MADE MY DAY!!

Maybe one day i'll put the plot down but for now, you just get the set up haha

[notaboynotagirljustalilbaby]

Im.. not quite nonverbal rn, but it feels like talking just isn't an option? I've felt like this since I woke up and I HAVE spoken to the cat and to my mom, and I drove to the [public transit] station just fine but with the voice thing and feeling a bit floaty and being... not quite small last night, but kind of nearish it at points(?) last night.. idk.

Just feel weird, and I regressed after a bad dream on Sunday and my regression tends to be.. clustered? In a sense? Like I'm more likely to regress if I have recently.

---

I was texting my friend, [i can't find a tag for him but I've referred to him as 'penpal friend' before so ig I'll use that and edit/update later if i find that hes labeled as something else on here], when I regressed on Sunday and we set up a code a few months ago to let him know if I was small/smallish because cursing makes me really uncomfortable when I'm small (makes me feel bad-vulnurable, unsafe, just overall yucky), but I literally could not care less about it when I'm big abs regularly curse myself. All that to say that I sent the code (code bc saying it can be hard sometimes and also it doesn't have to be part of the conversation, I just.. need it to shape the conversation a bit, yk?) and he acknowledged the code and we kept chatting.. and then he cursed in one of his messages and I was feeling a bit bigger by then but it still felt a bit 'wrong' and he didn't know I was getting bigger so if nothing else.. the principle of it felt a bit like a betrayal, in a sense?

I brought it up to him the next day when I was firmly adult and brainstormed some ways to hopefully stop it from happening again. And he apologized and hadn't even realized he'd done it (partially bc he was sick at the time) - and I knew he wouldn't have done it on purpose and probably hadn't realized (but that doesn't mean I should let a boundary get crossed without bringing it up once I'm able)... and part of all of this was me realizing that we had a way of communicating when I'm small but nothing to say when I was big again. So now the single emoji I was using to indicate being regressed (🐤) has officially expanded to a spectrum, with any of these 🥚🐣🐥🐤 meaning I'm small or close to it (specific, detailed meanings haven't been assigned to each, but the eggs are basically me going 'hey I'm real teeny rn' and the chicks are a more general little/ish).. and probably most importantly, 🐓 to indicate once I'm confidently big again.

I haven't had cause to use any of them, but I considered it last night when I was feeling pretty close to small - except I realized that we weren't even texting right then, and it's not like the goal is to tell him every time I feel little, the goal is so he knows -when we ARE talking- that he's talking to a kid!

And I think it's important for me to remember that, especially when I am little. It's one thing if I'm little AND decide I want to talk to him, but there's no reason to tell him I'm small just cause. It's important I remember that he's not my caregiver, just a friend who is willing to accommodate me when I'm vulnerable.

---

Also, while I'm here, I don't know if I mentioned it, but I finally told my therapist I regress! That happened.. probably 2 months ago or something, now? But it's a big step for me because I've never told a therapist before.. or really anyone who I wasn't really close to.* I've been seeing this therapist for awhile now (over a year), but we only meet every 3-4 weeks, so it doesn't always feel like it. Anyway, he was chill about it, and asked what age.. and I was embarrassed so I told him like, young toddler, I think? 2 or 3, probably, idr exactly. Which, it's not untrue, but I definitely get firmly 'baby' fairly often when I regress. Probably more often than toddler/young kid. Maybe I'll open up about it more at some point (it hasn't come up in a session since), but either way, I'm proud of myself for taking that first step!

*with maybe a few exceptions? Like, I wasn't necessarily super duper close with Roommates R and Red when they were told, but I was close with Roommate D and they were all close at the time and Roommate D knew it'd be safe to tell them bc they both regressed too... idr now what order who found out about who, or if I ever knew, but there was trust there, still.

Also I wouldn't have told Roommates B, C, and D as early as I did, if at all, if Roommate D hadn't asked me directly. I probably would've told Roommate B, at least, eventually though - especially when we decided to keep living together for a second (and later, third) year.

[pointdotiozao]

ok so. first nightmare was like.

(this got long)

I was on a trip with some ppl but my glasses were really I'll fitting and it was hurting me and I couldn't even pay attention to where I was going, so I tried to bend it a bit yk and ended up breaking them.. but it was fine bc now it sat in my face alright and it didn't hurt me anymore. And now I could see where we were going, and it was this kind of grassland but with hills and stuff, idk how you guys call this terrain in english, anyway.

It was starting to rain and there was mud everywhere, so much that it was hard to walk. We found an abandoned house to hide from the rain, and the house was full of mud as well, covered in it. I don't mean just the floor, but also the furniture and walls like it was leaking from the ceiling. I found the bathroom to see if the sink was working so I could wash my hands, and everything was covered in mud there as well, the mirror, the hand towel. But yes the sink was working and I washed my hands.

Then I got to investigate around, went to take a look at the shower box and there was a guy buried in the mud there. He was alive just, frozen I think. And the thing is right then when I saw him I got this terrible deja vu sensation because because because I had already dreamed with that house before. On a previous dream the house was not completely covered in mud yet, though it was getting there, and idk dude it doesn't make much sense, but I got the sensation that in this other time I had been in the house I was the one who put the guy there. Anyway, now I was BACK THERE, and he woke up and at first he was confused and didn't know where he was, but then he began to understand and started getting really mad. I don't know why it was so important to me that he stayed there, I tried put him to sleep again and he started wrestling me and yelling.

He stormed off the bathroom, I couldn't stop him. It had turned into night already btw so the mud covered house was very very dark. I followed him trying to convince him to come back or at least calm him down but he was only getting angrier and angrier, the anger was like. It was distorting his face, he was enraged. He found one of the people I was traveling with and it was so fucked up, I know I'm sounding silly bc this doesn't even sound so scary but it was fucked up when I was there. This person was on the stairs and they got scared bc the guy was still yelling and of course his face was all fucked up, and they took their gun out and shot him square on the chest. I'm not being able to convey the exact rhythm this shit was happening but it was frenetic. The guy didn't die from the shot and we just stood there kinda stunned for a bit, he looked down at his chest even more angry than before, and it occurred to me that he might already have been dead. That he had died the first time left him in that bathroom like, I killed him. Idk man it felt awful.

Anyway, he started moving and we ran like two desperate rats as the guy started chasing after us. He wasn't even a guy anymore it was just this entity. I got a last look of his face before I woke up and it was grotesque, his eyes black and yellow bulging out of the sockets..

It's funny bc I wasn't even all that scared IN the dream, I was scared but like normal levels of scared. I like horror and I was more or less thinking "oo cool creature design that's creepy" etc etc then I woke up, and normally when I have a nightmare I just have to shake a bit and it goes away. But today I woke up, tried shaking off the fear and going back to sleep, but I kept going over the dream in my head, bc as I said I was interested in the "story" and the shape of the creature. But then it started to really freak me out. Anyone remembers what it was like waking up from a nightmare as a kid? When you couldn't really tell fantasy from reality and it felt like the monsters were right there with you? It's been many years sice the last time this happened to me, but this night I was this scared.

I eventually was able to calm myself down enough to go back to sleep, but it was this fucking struggle not to slip back into the same dream. I kept waking up.

And then I had two other nightmares after that. One I will not describe in detail bc it was really really vivid and violent, but it was like. I know it doesn't make sense, Jigsaw would never do this lol but I was in a saw trap and the only way to get out was to kill a little kid. And the kid was possessed. It got real ugly, it was really bad.

And in the last nightmare I was in highschool again and there was some old creep in the school, and I was getting some real sexual abuse vibes from it, but it thankfully got interrupted by my morning alarm before anything happened.

It was bad, even when I got up and as I was going through my morning routine I couldn't shake off this horrible feeling. It only got better when I left the house

Shit man had one nightmare after the other for the whole night today what gives. As if I had any sleep time to waste -_- Welp 7 am here I go ig at least today I will-... I'm not even gonna say it, just in case I jinx it whatever

[xiaosweetheart]

stupid fuckin' brat.

character: xiao <33

genre: uh. the opener to what will be another long ass fucking smut fic. (probably like 4k words if i had to guess)

summary: after a week of being an absolute brat and pushing all of xiao's buttons he finally snaps on you.

warnings: gn afab reader, brat!reader; angry!xiao, mean!xiao; reader and xiao are in an established relationship dw y'all 🙏; reader is implied to be shorter than xiao (168cm) sorry 💀💀💀

a/n: so. ok i was possessed by The Horny Spirit last night (16 mar. 1am) and wrote all but the last paragraph in one sitting. i'm posting this as is for now otherwise it'll just rot in my drafts, and that's no good at all. i'll write a pt2 fs, but only if y'all ask nicely <3 // anyway i wrote this bc i want xiao to step on my throat and be mean to me lmao

generally speaking, xiao was not a particularly patient person, so why you would ever want to mess with him and push his buttons is far beyond me — but, that's exactly what you had been doing for the last week: getting on every last nerve of his and he could feel his self restraint crumbling with each passing hour.

you had been so persistently annoying all week long, and xiao couldn't tell if you were doing it on purpose or not.

calling out his name for seemingly no reason, pestering him about trivial matters where his concern was not needed, somehow managing to always be in his way. not to mention you had seemed extra clingy as well! and while that was not necessarily a problem in itself, it was the fact that you were all over him in public !!!!!

you had convinced him to go down to the harbour with you three different times this week, today included, and everytime you just could not keep your hands off of him !! (fool him once, shame on you, fool him twice, shame on him, fool him three times? he's just a fool. as annoying as you had been, he still had a hard time telling you no when you dropped the bratty façade and asked him so nicely.)

no matter how many times xiao had smacked your hands away or pushed you off of him when a little peck on the lips had turned into you trying to initiate a full blown makeout session right in the middle of the marketplace, you just kept pawing at him! usually you were very keenly aware that xiao wasn't big on pda in the slightest and made sure to act with that in mind, but recently? not even the slightest attempt had been made. it's like you were trying to embarrass him on purpose!

and oh, how right he'd be to think that. a week ago, you'd decided that you wanted to see how far you could push xiao until he snapped and decided to return the favor (fucking you silly).

so now here you were, on the way back to the inn after leading xiao all over the city today, and you could tell he was on his last few threads of self-restraint.

internally, he was a ticking time bomb. waiting for your last comment or action that would inevitably push him over the edge.

brushing your hand against his, you felt your heart sink just a little when he jerked it back from you on reflex.

stopping in front of him, you immediately dropped your brat act (but not mindset) to sweetly ask him what was wrong or if anything was the matter.

but xiao wasn't gonna fall for your tricks this time.

"nothing. everything's fine," came his curt response, as he walked right on past you to continue on the path back to the inn all while avoiding making any kind of eye contact. bingo. you had him right where you wanted him. now all that was left was to wait until you were back in the safety of your room on the uppermost floor of the inn before enacting phase two of your little scheme.

the sun was just barely peaking past the horizon by the time you two had made it back, and you were fully ready to spring into action until ........... xiao walked right past your room and onto the balcony. that's okay, we can work with that.

carefully, you followed after him, very aware of how tense he seemed to be. this is it. the perfect chance to initiate phase two, the final straw. walking up behind him from where he was looking out over the balcony, you placed your hands on his shoulders. and, to be fair, you were going to offer to rub out some of the stress from his shoulders should this fail to be the last piece of the patience puzzle. it was, however, theast piece of the patience puzzle.

the moment your hands had landed on xiao, he had spun around and taken your hands in his.

"what the fuck?" xiao's eyes were piercing, molten gold irises seemingly glowing (both literally and with sheer irritation and anger). his gaze made you freeze up as your tongue suddenly felt heavy in your mouth — maybe this wasn't such a good idea: a realization you should've had much earlier this week. but, it was far too late to weasel your way out of this now. you wanted to provoke xiao, and now you had to deal with the consequences.

"i—i beg your pardon?" you asked, feigning innocence. you knew good and damn well what you had done.

"don't play stupid with me," he growled, yanking you towards him by your wrists. not expecting his sudden action, you stumbled forward and landed against his chest.

"i have half a mind to fuck you right here on the balcony, but," he paused, letting go of one of your wrists to roughly grab your jaw, squishing your cheeks and forcing you to meet his eyes, "no one else deserves to see how i'm about to fucking ruin you."

masterlist. | pt. 2

[scarlet-ancunin]

Scarlet how are you my love /p I hope you're having a fantastic day/night whenever you see this. The reaction you did to the big three seeing their s/o tiktoks kinda inspired me to send this in so could I ask for Desire dating someone who's a kinda famous streamer on twitch, one day while reader is streaming talking to the chat desire decides to drop by unexpected (like usual) which leads to the chat lovingly teasing reader about it maybe even desire joining in on the teasing as well.

Hmm, this may be a long story depending but I find it interesting oddly and if it does become a story I'll post this when I can this story specifically. btw making a little twist to it cause I don't actually use twitch lmaooo

Key things: Reader will be gn, and Desire will have they/them/he pronouns bc if I am in the mood I will maybe add nsfw later in the story we will see.

My Immortal Blogger: pt2, pt3?

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

My Immortal Blogger

Y/n was a very well-known twitch streamer, you soon branched out to have a Youtube channel, Instagram, and post video's on TikTok from time to time. your streams consist of talking to your followers, doing suggestions that were daring or funny, or reaction video suggestions they would want your input in, and sometimes you would do daily streams of your activities of the day.

However, the one thing you loved talking about was immortal beings that were so interesting some people on your chat talked about greek beings and such even sharing certain videos with commentary. you looked at the chat and spotted someone sharing a video of a man walking with a raven on his shoulder and they suddenly disappeared by being engulfed in sand.

"wow, this looks real and judging from all the views and such I believe this could be real. I mean how else would they have made-" you played soon after "Mr.Sandman" and giggle laughing a bit.

you noticed some people actually gave you very big tips to which you showed them a mystery box saying you would send it to them once the live ended and such. you smile enjoying your followers and how kind they were but...You were missing something important. you kept that to yourself.

you saw videos of blogs that had couples doing cute things and you found it adorable but sometimes you envy them for having a perfect person in your life. "I will find you, my love.." you said softly

That was three years ago until you met Desire of the Endless they were by far the best thing that happen to you. of course they never told you they were an endless until you woke up one day in their realm and almost panicked they had to calm you down and hold you close telling you the truth.

you never told your followers that you have met someone and have been happy for the past three years because you weren't sure if Desire would want you to. You decided to log into your computer today and wave seeing how quickly the views reached close to two thousand and you thanked everyone having another random chat with everyone.

That was until you notice your comments started to ask you questions you didn't think they would ask. well not yet anyway.

User: LoveMe4Ever "I'm not sure if it's okay to ask but you are such an amazing person have you found someone that loves that amazing energy?????"

User: CatchMeOutside "omg I was going to ask the same thing please Spill the beans you have been really happy well happier recently!!!!?" you read the other comments and blush lightly.

"um well-" you stop seeing some of your followers asking who is the "Hunk" behind you another said "OMG WHO IS THAT!?" you turned in time to see Desire there. Your face was red at this point since you haven't seen them for two days because of what they are and what they do but they always had this habit of popping up when you least expect it.

recalling the time they popped in on your doing some private things and the only thing they said while grinning was "don't stop on my account love" of course they helped you afterward. BUT, right now everyone can see Desire standing behind you grinning they leaned down and kissed the top of your head.

"Love what are you up to.....Oh those very nice comments are they regarding me?" you look at said comments of "AWW" and "OMG THEY SO CUTE" "DAMN THEY LOOK FINE" "I NEED A MAN LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE" your face was red and your followers started to tease you

Desire laughed and sat beside you reading the comments and looking at You now "they want us to kiss we should do it" "D-desire please y-your just as bad as t-them" your followers was all saying how adorable you looked flustered or for you both to Kiss.

Desire made you face them and kissed you softly on the lips to which you close your eyes melting from the kiss and the nervousness literally faded. of course, this was when Desire pulled away and looked at the camera "I hope you liked that~"

"OK I will log on Friday," you said quickly before you saw the comments begging to know who your lover was and some begging to bring your lover to your next stream. "Um they want you to join me on my next stream and probably future ones do you mind love"

"of course not you know you are always welcomed to call me" they purred in the end and everyone spams your comments once more and you blushed to see some of them "b-bye guys we will see you all soon and thank you for watching and stay amazing"

once you closed it you look up at Desire blushing deeply "I'm really glad you are by my side again love I missed you these past two days" Desire pulled you to his lap and kissed you deeply before nipping your neck lightly "I'm glad to be here to my love and I want to show you how much I missed you actually." With that, they took you to the bedroom.

To Be Continued...

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Should I continue??

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Taglist: @justaproudslytherpuff , @sherazyjade , @the-masked-scorpio , @sugakookieswithacupoftae16 , @happilydangerousworld , @harlekin6 , @supermegapauselouca