#anyway i included links to each song in case anyone wants to listen and is curious | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

guillemelgat · 2 years ago

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Hey hello I made a thing! As perhaps a few of you know, I have spent the last half a year being completely unhinged about Patrick O’Brian’s Aubrey-Maturin books, and I’ve always been particularly interested in the character Stephen Maturin and his relationship to Catalonia. I saw that there was a lack of stuff about this part of his identity, and, being me, I felt the need to fill it in the only way I could: compiling music and yelling about it for thirty pages. Hence this playlist.

You really don’t need to know anything about these books to listen to this playlist. You also don’t need to know anything about Catalan (I hope). Catalonia and the Catalan Countries in general (including Valencia, the Balearic Islands, and parts of southern France, Aragon, and Sardinia) have a really interesting musical and literary tradition, and I wanted to make that more accessible, so I put together a few songs I liked, translated them, and wrote a bit about each of their significance, including the most important cultural tidbits I could. Some things don’t translate super well, and I hope my Catalan followers will forgive me for trying to adapt them more for English-speaking audiences than perhaps would be preferable; I usually don’t choose to do that, but in this case I wanted to open the door, and not to intimidate people.

Now that that’s out of the way, here is a link to the PDF of the liner notes (graphic design is my passion, as they say): https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MUpRM84W8aypznEIrt0eA1jG5OxaRZvz/view?usp=sharing

Under the cut I’ve included the ephimera and unnecessary commentary that you know and love, feel free to read or ignore it as you will

These roughly follow the order of the songs and are varying levels of seriousness

If you like "Sant Joan, feu-lo ben gran" then I'd highly recommend listening to the whole Tornaveus album. I almost included the “Stabat Mater de Sudanell” and the “Goigs de Sant Julià de Lòria”, which are both from western Catalonia, and they also have more cançons de pandero, in perhaps a slightly more traditional style. A lot of the other songs have interesting cultural commentary in them, especially on feminist topics, and they’re very well-researched because literally one of the members of the group is basically the ethnomusicologist of Catalan music at the moment. Anyways, if people would like the liner notes perhaps next time I’m home I’ll scan them, they’re in Catalan and English and very well-written. Also note the legendary Lluís Llach song which has been turned into a polyphonic piece lol (and I did not include the “Goigs de la Nostra Senyora de la Llibertat” but tbh that might have been a mistake on my part) (Blorbo side note that I think this fits Stephen’s childhood very well which is mostly why I chose it)

“L’Hereu Riera” is one of my favorite Catalan folk songs I love it so much and if you want to hear the Catalan version (as opposed to the Valencian one included here) and see the dance and also see a cobla, I am including a link to this version by Germà Negre which is tragically not on Spotify. I chose the Valencian one because (1) Al Tall and (2) I think it fits The Blorbo better (specifically I was thinking of his fiancée who dies before Book One who idk if anyone ever remembers shdjfhskf). That being said, Stephen would probably know the Catalan one (and almost certainly not the Valencian one). Also, on a memey-er note, Hereu Riera bisexual king and literal icon <3 love how he has to remind his girlfriend on her deathbed that actually he'd technically be interested in both her sisters AND her brothers if he wasn't so into her that he never wanted to marry anyone else

I literally did put in Roger Mas just so there would be at least one person with a Lleidan accent, #diversity win

Many points about the “Cançó de pandero de l’Urgell” and “Jo no canto per la veu” so here we go:

I put these two songs in mostly because I got very obsessed with the cançó de pandero from Alcarràs (which is a great movie that came out last year about a farming family in a village near Lleida that is winning all the awards atm). Anyways, since Carla Simón has been too busy winning things to put up the gotdam soundtrack, I did a bit of digging and it turns out that it was written for the movie?? By her brother??? It's excellent and very anticapitalist and you can listen to it here and see the trailer for Alcarràs all in one! (Includes English subtitles)

The original “Canto per un amic meu que per mi daria la vida” is probably from a Valencian cant de batre, although I could not get any confirmation on that. But regardless everyone should listen to Pep Botifarra's version of it, which I would literally marry if it had a physical form it’s so so good. (I posted it here back in ye olden days but it's been long enough I think I can post it again)

Valencian music side note because I can’t stop myself: the second pair of verses in the "Cançó de pandero de l'Urgell" (starting with “vos esteu ben acotxada…”) are sung by Miquel Gil, who is a very famous Valencian traditional singer, anyways you should listen to this version of him singing “Del Sud” by Obrint Pas (you want to go down a Valencian music rabbit hole so so bad)

I firmly believe that Stephen would canonically be obsessed with Ausiàs March, and the fact that he has not yet recited any of his poems is Patrick O’Brian’s biggest failing in my eyes. Anyways I have more thoughts but I’m saving them for other posts shdfjsd

If you read this before listening to the playlist please just listen to "El testament d'Amèlia" and follow along with the lyrics in real time before reading the blurb, it's such a good experience to let that song hit you as it comes. I won't say more than that but you'll get it when you get it. (Also obligatory listen to Marala they're so good <3)

From the Càntut album, I also quite like the songs "El pomeró" and "El divino vull cantar", and Càntut in general is an incredible resource, it's a database of folk song field recordings from northeastern Catalonia.

Brief pause to scream about the fact that Maria Arnal and Marcel Bagés WERE ON NPR??? AND NO ONE TOLD ME???? Anyways link in the sources section, also they're great and you should listen to their whole discography

As the #1 Roba Estesa stan blog on Tumblr, listen to Roba Estesa. And Ebri Knight. And El Diluvi.

I chose this version of "La presó de Lleida" because I like it but here's a more traditional one sung by Joan Manel Serrat, another Catalan legend. Here's another one in Catalan rumba style with Sílvia Pérez Cruz singing, the sound is a bit wonky but it's also one of my favorites. The Valencian version of this song is called "La presó de Tibi" and El Diluvi have done a very explicitly anti-monarchical rendition of it (the Balearic one is "La presó de Nàpols").

I'm sorry for never putting the Sílvia Pérez Cruz version of "Corrandes d'exili" but if you want it here it is. Also note that the statue of the Virgin in the poem is a reference to the Virgin of Montserrat, it literally all goes back to her shfjkshdf (also apologies for being very bad at Christianity and Catholicism, if I mistranslated things let me know)

HOO BOY SARDANA TIME

Okay so I have a whole essay to deliver on this that I've been holding inside for the past like two months or so, I apologize in advance for my excessive pedantry on the topic.

In Master and Commander, Stephen delivers this speech:

"‘Then I must tell you that on Sunday mornings it is the custom, in that country, for people of all ages and conditions to dance, on coming out of church: so I was dancing with Ramon Mateu i Cadafalch in the square before the cathedral church of Tarragona, where I had gone to hear the Palestrina Missa Brevis. The dance is a particular dance, a round called the sardana.’"

I hate to be a hater but it is very, very unlikely that anyone would have been dancing a sardana as far south as Tarragona in this time period. The sardana as the symbol of equality and brotherhood emerged in the Renaixença and would not yet have been a thing; Stephen could well have heard sardanas in Ullastret, but they would have been a more typical folk dance, and not anything like the way they're described in the book. It's very ironic, then, that they've become THE Catalan music style for Aubreyad readers, but hopefully this playlist can change that a bit :)

(also sorry for being a sardana-hater on main, someone bring me to dance a sardana and maybe I'll feel better)

Songs that didn't make the cut: La cançó del lladre, Rossinyol que vas a França, La balanguera, La gavina - I'm always happy for more recs!

Originally, this list was also going to include songs in Irish; I quickly realized that I was in over my head with that one, but the working list of songs is here (may be subject to changes so save songs elsewhere if you like them!). Also I would add "Fé Bhláth" by Imelda May and Kíla if it was on Spotify but alas it is not; and "Amhrán na Leabhar" which I have not had time to add but was kindly recommended by someone. I'd love it if someone was interested in actually doing a proper playlist for Irish though—it's a gap in my knowledge that I'd love to start filling.

Aaaaaaand that's a wrap. I hope. Final comment to say thank you to everyone who voted in the cover image poll, turns out you all won :) (Pirineus did win and take the cover of the liner notes though)

#my masterpiece is done i have peaked i'm retiring now #jkjk but i've been working on this since like. november #so it is kind of insane that's it's finally done #please notify me of any mistakes or corrections <3 #and hopefully this is enjoyable for you all!#it's a little funky at times but i think it works???#it's not really a playlist. it's more like one of those weird compilation albums that i definitely didn't consume too many of as a child #did kind of want this to show up in the aubreyad tag but i wanted links more so rip :// anyways here goes nothing #aubreyad #catalan #catalan:general #catalan:music #catalan:reference #catalan:culture #general:music #general:reference #general:culture #there'd better not be any typos or i'm fighting someone

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faceimploded · 7 months ago

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A certain song that describes (a hypothetical) Ceroba

Edit:

@engisanic pointed out there's literally a line in the pacifist route, right before Ceroba engages in battle:

"I almost wish you never showed up in the Wild East. Maybe then I could've continued to bury my sorrows in the Saloon."

Thanks for the correction! Original post below:

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I've been hooked on reading fanmade Undertale Yellow written works (i.e. fanfiction), and I notice there's a sort of headcanon(?) that mostly involve Ceroba getting drunk most of the time as a way to cope with grief.

Incidentally, while reading up on more fics, a certain song started playing, and I realized it does describe this aspect pretty well, so I'll be breaking the song's lyrics down and include some personal interpretations (though if anyone has some insights or info to add, that'd be great!)

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「思い出酒」

omoide zake

Memories (brought forth from sake)

by Sachiko Kobayashi (小林幸子)

Feel free to listen to the song linked above in the title first—there's even a translation provided by the channel jpoptranslationsbyalulu, thought there are some nuances from other sources that I don't quite agree with (hence the personal interpretations).

Presuming that Ceroba does drink a lot, this song would make a lot more sense in that context—even more so that it's (modern) enka, a type of sentimental ballad where the song's theme often involves romance and bleak life themes, perhaps like heartbreak or loneliness. A love song of sorts in some ways.

If the underground had a karaoke box, I can imagine Ceroba singing to this.

With that, I'll be breaking down the song into stanzas and analyze each of them as follows:

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Japanese

Romaji

English (literal translation)

Let's start with the first stanza:

無理して飲んじゃいけないと

muri shite nonja ikenai to

"Do not force [yourself] to drink"

肩をやさしく抱き��せた

kata wo yasashiku dakiyoseta

Gently embraced the shoulder

Putting these two lines together, the nuance is that someone walked up to the singer (or speaker) and is warning her not to drink too much before pulling her into a gentle embrace.

It's interesting though that the second line is left ambiguous since there's nothing to specify who's doing the action (in this case, embracing their shoulder). As a result, some may interpret this as the speaker finding comfort and relief in the drink itself rather than a person.

Then again, the first line already indicates a sort of quote (と), so I think this was more in the literal sense of a stranger talking to the speaker.

You probably see where I'm going with this, but somebody (likely a certain sheriff) caught Ceroba over-drinking, and he's telling her to take it easy as he comforts her.

---

The song heads straight to the chorus (where the first and third lines are repeated, so I'll focus on the second lines in future choruses):

あの人どうしているかしら

ano hito doushiteiru kashira

How is that person faring?

噂をきけばあいたくて

uwasa o kikeba aitakute

[I] want to meet them upon hearing those rumors

おもいで酒に酔うばかり

omoide zake ni you bakari

Only drunk in sake and memories

Being close friends, it's no surprise that your friend's wellbeing will be a constant in your thoughts, but the second line seems to indicate a pretty strong desire, a longing to see them just thinking about them, just hearing a single mention of their name.

If only we knew what Ceroba was really thinking... Hm.

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The second stanza:

ボトルに別れた日を書いて

botoru ni wakareta hi wo kaite

[I] write about the day I parted from the bottle

そっと��の小指かむ

sotto namida no yubi kamu

and lightly bite my pinky wet with tears

It took a while for me to understand the 'bottle' part, but the speaker, who had such a strong tendency to lean towards drinking, is now putting a hold on drinking (parting from the bottle). Well, putting the sake bottle away anyway. Because the speaker is now drunk on something else: a certain feeling, a certain longing. A desire strong enough to put them off drinking (for even a day?) and long for this person it pains her.

---

The second chorus is the same except for the middle second line:

あの人どうしているかしら

ano hito doushiteiru kashira

How is that person faring?

出船の汽笛ききながら

defune no kiteki kikinagara

I hear the steam whistle of the ship

おもいで酒に酔うばかり

omoide zake ni you bakari

as [I] get drunk on sake and memories

Perhaps the speaker is still drinking, but at least this one time, she seems to be pouring her heart into a letter.

Really, most of the lines here are self explanatory, but that changed line makes it feel more like a farewell, as if the person the speaker longs for is about to leave her, or go some place far from her reach.

Almost as if the beloved person just... you know.

---

Third and final stanza before the last chorus:

いつかは忘れる人なのに

itsuka wa wasureru hito nanoni

Even if they're someone [I'll] forget one day

飲めば未練がまたつのる

nomeba miren ga mata tsunoru

When I drink, memories [of that person] will surface once again

It seems like the speaker has somehow managed to get over their problem... until they drink again. She's back to drinking. A relapse. Except this time, now there's an extra layer of heartbreak and longing.

Personally speaking, I don't really think about someone unless they're someone I wish I never met, or if it's a loved one who's... fallen. I think people don't really think about others until something bad happens. Either way, that relationship from earlier seems to have crumbled and is now only a memento for life (which the speaker may or may not choose to remember).

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The final chorus with this line changed to:

あの人どうしているかしら

ano hito doushiteiru kashira

How is that person faring?

くらしも荒れたこのごろは

kurashi mo areta kono goro moNeglecting [my] life these days,

おもいで酒に酔うばかり

omoide zake ni you bakari

[I am] drunk in nothing but sake and memories

Back to square one, but it's reached a point where she just doesn't really care about her life or current state anymore, and the only seeming comfort is her initial solution: to drink and lose herself in long gone days and sake.

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Well, all of this is just a what-if analysis so it may not even apply to canon.

Also, I just noticed the beginning of the song just sounds very North Star. Starlo-ish. Hehe.

Time to write a fic involving this song.

Edit 2:

Just realized this song applies to Chujin as well

#undertale yellow #ceroba ketsukane #thoughts #song analysis #// I still think they're friends but that's what fics are for #// don't let that stop anyone from shipping tho

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monsterenergysimp · 4 years ago

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Permanence

corpse husband x fem!reader

summary: you meet corpse on a stream and you’re surprised when he reaches out to you

warnings: cursing, mentions of tattooing

word count: 1.9k

notes: This is proof read but could have missed some stuff. This is my first corpse fic and my first time writing fanfic since I posted that super cringey book on wattpad when I was like 12 or something. I’d appreciate feed back so please reach out to me :)

main blog @itsmysleepover

read part 2 here!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You were cleaning up your station so you can get home and stream. You loved your day job as a tattoo artist but you also really enjoyed streaming. It started as a way to promote yourself as an artist and the shop you worked at but it eventually became a really fun way to destress at the end of the week (or day if you were really itching to stream). “Hey Y/N was that your last client?” your boss, KC, asked as she walked to the front of the shop and put new flash drawings on the walls.

“Yes ma’am!” You said back excitedly. You finished cleaning your station and tossed your black gloves in the trash. “And you can’t trick me into staying and taking walk-ins,” you joked with her. She rolled her eyes and walked back into her office “It was one time,” she said as you slid on your jacket. As you walked out your phone buzzed in your pocket and you checked to see who had texted you. It was a message from Sean asking if you were free to play Among Us with him and some other streamers. You replied that you were on your way home right now and totally down. You were excited to see who was playing this time around since their Among Us streams are super entertaining and have gotten really popular.

On your way back you tweeted and posted to your Instagram story that you’d be streaming soon and set up all your stuff once you made it home. After a few minutes, you had a couple of thousand people watching. You entered the discord chat and Sean spoke up. “Everyone this is Y/N she’s sensitive so be gentle.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you guys and I’m not gentle, I'm ruthless,” You say into your mic and notice the chat calling you a liar. Everyone was in the lobby waiting for the game to start. “You sound way too sweet to be ruthless,” Corpse said. The countdown started and you were imposter with Charlie.

“This should be fun,” you told the stream. Yout tried playing strategically but after such a long shift your brain was mush. You saw Poki in nav and killed her then vented into shields. Not long after the body was reported and you were sure you were going to get voted out or at least sussed.

“Where was the body?” Felix asked. “Nav and I didn’t see anyone near there so whoever is imposter must have vented,” Corpse responded. Felix spoke up again. “I think I saw Y/N walk that way and I haven’t seen her since.”

Shit, shit, shit shit. “I’m in shield right now so-” you said trying to defend yourself but Charlie spoke up. “I was doing tasks with her earlier and I saw her walk into shields so she’s safe but I’m still not sure about Rae.” Everyone discussed a bit more and some people, including Corpse, voted for you but Rae got the majority vote and was ejected. You released your breath and kept playing being extra careful.

“Okay, guys that was super close. Corpse knows and is out to get me,” you said to the chat. You were eventually voted off but one round later victory was written across your screen with your ghost and Charlie’s avatar. “Good game guys,” Corpse said.

“I told you guys I was ruthless!”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat at your station doing nothing because a client had canceled a four-hour session. You were listening to music and sketching some stuff but you were bored out of your mind and you didn’t want to leave in case you got a walk-in. The music got quiet as you received a twitter notification saying someone had messaged you. You reached for your phone and saw you had gotten a dm from Corpse.

C: hey :)

You didn’t know what to respond. You were mostly confused as to why he decided to message you out of the blue. Did he want something? But what would he want?

Y: Hii! This is sudden

C: was i bothering you?

shit sorry!

Y: Youre fine I wasn’t doing anything rn

C: how has your day been

i dont usually do stuff like this

Y: Im glad you did im doing better now I was so bored

C: what were you doing that was so terrible

Y: NOTHING! thats the problem :(

C: im sure youll find something to do

You stared at his message. Unsure what to respond.

Y: Im gonna give myself a tattoo

C: what?

NO!

You tossed the needles you used for your tattoo into the sharps box. “Oh my god you didn’t,” KC said. She noticed the wrap on your calve from the tattoo you just gave yourself out of boredom. “It’s not my fault I didn’t have anything else to do!” You said trying to defend yourself. She sighed and just shook her head. “Just go home business is slow today.” It was raining so the shop probably wasn’t going to get a walk-in anyway and you didn’t have any more clients for the day. It was only 2 pm but you drove home and after making lunch for yourself decided to stream. You weren’t expecting too many people so it was bound to be super chill. Your leg felt sore reminding you of the tattoo. You snapped a quick pic of the fresh jack-o-lantern on the side of your calve and messaged it to Corpse.

Y: [image] it came out nice!

C: thats super cool actually

i was concerned why you would just give yourself a tattoo but i found your instagram and youre super talented

Y: Thank you!

For some reason, it felt strange to just have that be the end of your response.

Y: Im about to start streaming if you wanted to watch

[link]

C: ill be watching ;)

What’s that supposed to mean?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat in your apartment watching tv, hand lost in a bag of Doritos, and scrolling through twitter. You had stopped paying attention to the anime playing on the screen since you’ve watched it a hundred times and knew you wouldn’t miss anything. It was Saturday and you usually take those days off. Take the time to do chores or meet up with some friends but today you felt like not doing any of those things. As you continue your endless scroll (not helping the twitter addiction you told yourself you’d try to get a handle on) you got a message from Corpse.

C: wanna talk?

You looked down at the message unsure of how to answer. It was a simple yes or no and the obvious answer was yes. You and Corpse had started talking more regularly. You still didn’t have each other’s phone numbers but it was fine. Your conversations weren’t too big-- just you sending him memes, tiktoks, and telling him how much you liked the songs he would drop. Or him complimenting a tattoo you did. Sometimes he’d message you during streams telling you funny stuff his fans would say in the chat and you’d do the same. You learned a bit about each other but nothing too deep or serious. Like how you two lived a few cities away and you both really liked Donnie Darko. When Sean first invited you to that game out of everyone else there you were most excited to meet Corpse. He’s just so sweet and funny. Of course, you’d love to talk to him but you were also itching to talk to him and the last thing you’d ever want to do was make him uncomfortable.

Y: Yeah id love to talk

Here goes nothing.

Y: Wanna facetime or something?

No pressure or anything it could even be a regular call

I think facetime is just my default lol

You sent those last two messages quickly after you had sent the first. You wished you could know what he was thinking. It was killing you to think you had turned him off from talking to you completely. You put your phone down on the couch and went to wash your hand of Dorito dust. When you got back from the kitchen you turned off the tv and tossed yourself onto the couch.

Still no message.

Why am I so fucking stupid?

Just as you were standing up to stretch from sitting on the couch all day your phone buzzed. You reached for it fast and looked to see that it was him. You became super excited still not even knowing what the message said. It could have told you to never talk to him again for all you knew.

C: sure lets facetime

xxx-xxx-xxxx

You had his phone number. You added him to your small but growing contact list and called. You sat on your couch waiting for a response when he finally picked up the screen was black. It didn’t upset you; you kind of expected it and didn’t care what he had to do to make himself more comfortable during this call.

“Hey,” he said. His voice was raspier than usual.

“Did you just wake up?” You asked and looked at the time. It was about a little past noon and you had only eaten Doritos all day. Shit, you should probably make a decent meal.

“Not that long ago but yeah,” he responded and giggled. That giggle.

“Well, I’ve eaten nothing but Doritos all day while rewatching Ouran High School Host Club, so you’re welcome to join me as I make myself something to eat.”

“Sounds like fun; what are we eating?”

“I don’t know yet,” You said as you stood up and made your way to the kitchen. You opened the pantry and looked. You noticed a can of diced tomatoes and reached for it then checked the expiration date. It was still good. On your counter were some onions and garlic. “How about some tomato soup?”

“Sounds delicious.” you smiled at Corpse and your phone screen not knowing if he was also looking at his screen or not. “You’re really pretty-- you know that?”

“Thanks, but you don’t have to--”

“I’ve already told you what an incredible artist you are so many times I bet you’re tired of hearing it, but you already know what a talented artist you are.”

“That is very kind of you Corpse,” you said to him bashfully as you chopped the onion and opened the can of tomatoes. “But once again you don’t have to reach so far to compliment me.”

“I’m not reaching you are talented and beautiful and--”

“I thought I was pretty.” You could hear him chuckle with a smile on his face. “You’re both,” he said. You could feel your face getting warm from blushing.

“Fuck you you’re making me blush. My face is all hot and stuff.”

He laughed at how flustered you got. “That’s the cutest thing ever.”

You didn’t know how to respond so you just put some olive oil in a pot and tossed in your onions. It became silent but it was a comfortable silence. You turned the stove on and watched the flame for a few seconds. “If it was dark we could pretend we were together and having a bonfire or something,” you said to the phone as you turned the camera to show him the flame (still not 100 percent sure if he was looking at you or not).

“I’ll put it on the list of things to do when you visit me someday.”

#corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband imagines #corpse husband x y/n #youtubers #caffeinated ramblings

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zigtheeortega · 3 years ago

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For the past six months, @pixeljazzy and I have been working on a playlist we felt could top last year’s, which was so well received!

We’ve broken it up into sections by individual love interests, multiple love interests, main character, and miscellaneous, which includes side characters, general vibes, etc. Underneath each song are lyrics we believed stood out to us along with explanations as to why we chose it. Like last year, the [p] is for PJ and [j] is for Jade.

Here’s the link to the playlist on Spotify, but we’ve individually linked the songs with each explanation as well!

We sincerely hope you enjoy our 2021 RODAW Playlist!

The Bay, Soft Glas. ft. Mulherin [j]

Leaving you alone is too hard (hard, hard) / I just never know where to start (with you)

I'm not used to leaving someone broken hearted / That might be what really makes this hard (It's hard) / I've never been with anyone this long / If I did it, I really miss you

The softness and apologetic tone of the song reminds me of Logan through and through. He’s so regretful for what he put MC through, both at the beginning when he was lying to her, and by the end when he thinks he’s ruined her life by simply being a criminal and dating her. And by leaving her he’s leaving the one person who’s loved him unconditionally and stuck with him through it all.

Call Me, Nav [j]

They taught me, "Don't forget where you came from" / I regret what I came from

Do you know how it feel to feel alone? / Bought myself a house, to feel like I ain't home / Driving by myself, ain't got nowhere to go / Are you really here for me, I don't know

I hope you mean everything that you told me / I'll try to come back to you, girl, I'm sorry / If you miss me, just call me

This song honestly reminded me of Logan’s backstory that we don’t know much of, besides the fact that he was thrust into a life of crime as a teen and as an adult he hates it. The other lyrics I added are kind of a glimpse into the future I think – wherever Logan is, whatever he’s doing, if he’s not with MC, the woman he loves, everything he accomplishes is gonna feel hollow. And despite him saying that he was leaving to protect her, I know in his heart he’d want her to find her way back to him.

Cold Case Love, Rihanna [p]

I’m torn apart and you know / What you did to me was a crime

We opened up a cold case love / And it got the best of us / And now prints, pictures, and white outlines / Are all that’s left at the scene of a crime / Of a cold case love

The first line reminded me of how MC probably felt after being betrayed by Logan, the one that was arguably supposed to be the closest to them, and then the second lyric is because at the time, MC left and that was the last Logan knew of them with nothing to stand for what they used to have until they eventually came back to help save the crew.

Compass, The Neighbourhood [j]

If I don't have you with me, I'm alone / You know I never know which way to go / I think I need you with me for all-time / When I need new direction for my mind

I've got something to confess / I keep you in my pocket to use / You're my only compass / I might get lost without you / (Could you tell me where to go?)

You're always there to help me when I'm down / I'm lucky you've been keeping me around / You're the star I look for every night / When it's dark, you'll stick right by my side

Like a magnet / Hard to imagine ever changing / Can't help that I'm attracted to you, I am / Could you keep on guiding me? Please

This is a quintessential Logan song – reading these lyrics, it’s like Logan spoke them himself to MC, and that’s why I included so much of the song. All of these remind me of him and his hopeless romanticism, but specifically the line about her being the star he looks for every night? Absolutely perfect. This entire song is like a love letter from Logan to MC.

Don’t Leave Me, Blackstreet [p]

I’m searching for the words to make you realize / That I really, really want you to stay

Don’t leave, don’t leave me girl

This song was giving me Logan vibes from the diamond scene where he’s like “I can’t believe I love someone” and MC is like “you don’t get to say that to me” or some shit like that because he’s trying soo so hard to explain himself to her and to make her not hate him.

Imma Dog, Ugly God ft. PnB Rock [j]

You say you love me, shawty, tell me why / 'Cause I'm a dog and I'ma probably be this way until I die / You say you always gon' be by my side / You say you trust me with your heart and I swear, I just wonder why

Okay, hear me out, I forreal have reasons for this to be tied to Logan. The only verse in this song that’s a non chorus one is related to cheating, but I’m choosing to ignore that for the sake of the chorus. I heard the chorus for the first time and it made me think of one specific moment and point in time in Ride or Die. These lyrics remind me of Logan’s attitude when he was being mean and pretending to be annoyed by MC to get her off of him – despite the facade he’s still in awe of the way she trusts him and cares about him even when he’s treating her like garbage.

Life’s a Mess, Juice WRLD ft. Halsey [p]

Uh, sometimes life’s a mess

Lookin’ for somethin’ real, then I found it

I’m too flawed to hold you down, but / Don’t wanna be here alone

Logan knows all too well how much of a mess life really is (first lyric), and the second lyric is basically what I think he feels about MC. He told MC in the beginning that he doesn’t really stay with crews or trust anyone but himself, but MC was that exception before the rest of the crew became that exception too. And then the third lyric is because Logan looks at himself as someone who probably doesn’t deserve MC, Vaughn even said he was morally obligated to tell MC that she’s too good for his cousin (yes it was a joke (was it) but it fits), but he still wants her anyway (“Look at you...then look at me. You’re going to be valedictorian. I never even went to high school...I don’t have anything, and I wasn’t anybody, and I knew that. I always knew that….Some part of me really wants you to mess things up for me.” - Logan, Ch. 3).

Unfair, 6lack [p]

Hope my mistakes don’t make me less of a man / ‘cause lately it feel like them shits really can / I’m prayin’ I don’t wake up all alone

But know I’m stuck between / What I love and who I love and / I know it’s unfair

The first lyric I feel like is pretty self-explanatory as Logan expresses remorse for his actions (him acting weird and tryna tell MC about his dishonesty in the club, him making the effort to apologize or explain in the diamond scene after the reveal) and it especially hits if your MC is romancing Logan because he doesn’t want to lose them. As for the second lyric, I was thinking about how he was probably stuck between doing what’s best for the crew and doing right by MC

While We’re Young, Jhene Aiko [j]

Baby while we're young / I think we should do something crazy / Like say, "Fuck everyone" / And just run away from the daily routine

I'm tellin' everybody you're mine and I like it / And I really hope you don't mind, I can't fight it

'Cause it's been another perfect day with ya / Wanna lay with ya / Spend the night with ya / Then spend my life with ya, alright

I'll go everywhere you go / You know I'll go, I'll go / Everywhere you go

I'm giving you my heart, please don't break it / Take it and lock it up and put me in your pocket, love

This reminds me of Logan and MC’s brand of romance that’s sweet and clumsy and a little bit reckless when it really gets going. They’re both cautious but they fantasize about throwing caution to the wind even more than they already have.

Angel With A Shotgun, The Cab [p]

I don’t care if heaven won’t take me back / I’ll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe

Sometimes to win, you have to sin

And I want to live, not just survive

Lemme explain because I feel like people may think this song is really really out there for Colt but I was listening to this song one day and thought of him, esp the last two lines I chose: I think of how Colt came up with the kidnapping plan and how it was so crazy because it was like wow he really was ready for murder if it came down to it, but Colt was basically like we need to do something big to outsmart them or else we’ll just be doing shit for them forever (‘sometimes to win, you have to sin’).

Born 2 Be Great, Lil Tjay [p]

I was born to be great / And I won’t let nobody tell me I ain’t / And I can’t stop, won’t stop

Growin’ up, I’m gettin’ old, start settin’ goals / Tryna make more money off my business and shows / And everybody gon’ hate, I’m great, I know / Everybody can hate, I’m great, I know

These lyrics just scream COLT to me all the way. He knows and believes he’s destined for greatness no matter what path he chooses because no matter what he does, he’s gonna succeed in the end. “I can’t stop, won’t stop” reminds me of how Kaneko wanted Colt to choose for himself what he wanted to do, and even though Kaneko tried to shield Colt away from the family business, that’s where Colt wanted to be. The second lyric is essentially Colt just knowing he’s gonna make money and that he won’t be liked (hated by other crews, police, etc.), but that won’t matter because he’s great nevertheless.

Chandelier, B.o.B ft. Lauriana Mae [p]

They say life’s about choices / In the face of defeat I declined / Put your soul into everything, never back down / That’s how you leave a legacy behind

Let my blood keep pumping, my heart keep beating / Shining like a chandelier

Making something out of absolutely nothing / That’s the definition of a survivor

Colt definitely felt ‘put your soul into everything, never back down / that’s how you leave a legacy behind’ because of how much he focuses on carrying on what his family has built, and taking all the risks necessary to keep that legacy alive and make a name for himself. I put ‘shining like a chandelier’ because that’s how bright Colt shines, as I believe he’s destined for greatness and wouldn’t allow himself to achieve anything but.

Down Bad, Real Recognize Rio [j]

I've been out of my head for a couple minutes, for a couple miles / Made the hair stand up on my neck / On a knife edge, comin' at me for my crimes / Got a mind that can leave you locked inside

'Cause you got me down bad, down bad, your deep desire / Carve my name on your soul, then I walk through the fire / Your voice so clear, like you say my name / You got mе runnin' for my life like this shit was a game / Got mе down bad, down bad to feel your touch

This song reminds me of Colt specifically during the gambling scene when he got shot and the last car chase scene, because MC is put in serious danger but it does nothing to shake her love for Colt. She’s scared for her life and her future but she’s still willing to put everything on the line for him and MPC.

Forever Ever, Trippie Redd ft. Young Thug [p]

You gon’ really have to hold me fuckin’ down, babe / ‘Cause I ain’t with the fuckery, that playing ‘round, babe

We Bonnie and Clyde but except the shots

He don’t love you like he should, I can love you better

First and second lyric are because they’re a team, and Colt sees MC as his right hand. In the life he lives, the people on his team gotta be down fr because there’s always a lot at stake. The last lyric is more conditional, as I feel like this could be him if MC was also romancing Logan because in the reveal, Colt’s like you deserved to know and in the car in the chapter afterwards that’s when he’s like bro we could run this whole shit etc. etc.

Impala, O2worldwide [j]

I been watching you from a distance / Sitting back and acknowledging your existence / I made a couple songs but you'll probably never listen / Shooting my shot but i'm always fucking missing / Setting my ego aside / Me and you can go together just like Bonnie and Clyde / I've been tripping over you just like my shoes is untied / And I tried to hit you up its like my confidence died but

I see you everyday but don't past corners of eyes / I'm just gonna act like I didn't see you close to that guy / Not gonna lie you got me head over ears / I'm tryna find love because I don't know just how it feels

Anyone listening to this and reading the lyrics is going to hate me because… is this the perfect “Colt pining for MC because she’s getting close to Logan” Love Triangle song, or what? I listen to this song so casually most of the time that I forget how sad the lyrics actually are. The first couple verses (not the third verse) fit the narrative so well. A lot of my favorite “Colt” songs aren’t ones where they’re outwardly admitting any kind of affection for MC – they’re the ones where it reads as Colt struggling with their feelings for MC and how to express them.

PTSD, G Herbo ft. Juice WRLD, Lil Uzi Vert, and Chance the Rapper [p]

I don’t belong, I see my past everywhere

I got a war zone on inside of my head

A million dollars ahead, I’m still angry and seeing red

I’m too paranoid, I make sure all my opps, they bled

This song always guts me because G Herbo is talking about all the people he’s lost, and for Colt, I imagined this was probably him after losing his father. Reminded of his past when he saw the remains of the shop, reminded of his past every time after that probably when he was rebuilding the shop. As for the million dollars, it’s like he could pull off as many heists as he could but he would never be satisfied until Brotherhood paid, hence the last lyric because honestly I don’t think it’s over until Shaw is dead (ik there’s a line in ROD where he’s like if we were even, he’d be dead, I just know it).

Sun God, Trippie Redd [j]

Went out my way just to love you / Right at the top, no above you / Right off the top, know I trust you / Ready or not, here I come, boo / And baby, you're hot, like the sun, too / Not too hot for me, no I'm sun-proof / Follow your lead, I'ma come through / Just you and me, baby, one-two

I think this is Colt way farther down the line if MC had the chance to really fall in love with him. He’s the type to value trust and loyalty in a bond more than anything else because he doesn’t do either of those easily at all. And I think that the line about being sun-proof is a cute callback to a lot of the fandom comparisons of Colt and Icarus – the title too and the lyrics just scream Colt to me.

Where Does The Love Go?, Maria Isabel [j]

Nightly negotiations with the moon, whoever's listening / All the miles between us got me messed up, got me trippin'

They say lovin' is easy / But not when one of us is leaving

Back on a plane / Two different coasts / When we're alone / Where does the love go? / What if you go / Forget the way home? / Running in circles but never together / So where does the love go?

The more I listen to this song the more I think this song is about Colt and MC. Colt’s not a clingy type in the slightest, but there’s no doubt in my mind that deeper into the relationship, both Colt and MC would have some doubts – the reason I say this is because I’m viewing the lyrics through the lens of Colt and MC doing long distance while MC is in college on the East Coast. This whole song is long distance relationship anxiety summed up perfectly and it’s so Colt.

Yellow Lights, 24kGoldn [p]

Don’t want no yellow light / don’t want no mixed message

For the crown, ‘cause we could achieve it

Love you now, but don’t you deceive me

Second lyric resonated with me esp because of that line in the book where he’s like “But the two of us? We put our brains together, you and me could run this whole town” so he knows he could achieve an empire with MC by his side. Last lyric is because Colt definitely doesn’t trust those around him and for those that he does trust, that trust doesn’t come easy. So MC, who managed to get past that, is loved, but would automatically lose a lot if she deceived him (now imagine….snitch MC? This line would hit a lot more because she ends up deceiving him so like he had a right to be wary of her holding his heart (like if we’re looking at the pov of him saying this lyric)).

Can’t Love, Trippie Redd [p]

She say she love me, I think she love me not / She say she love me, I know she love me not

How could you do this to me? / Yeah, yeah, I thought you, I thought you loved

Another Mona and her ex song teehee but I’m imagining this from Mona’s pov while she’s in jail like wow that girl never loved me like she said she loved me (first lyric) and how could she betray me like this (second lyric).

Favorite Mistake, Giveon [p]

Is my secret safe? / Safe with just you and me / We can’t leave a trace / This is my favorite mistake

Look in my eyes / Do you mind the lies? Do you feel alive?

Even when you’re gone / The feeling just grow stronger / Should leave it alone / But you’re getting closer

So I finally did a Mona route and GOD yes this song is about cheating (Mona and Hieron can’t relate) but we gon ignore that and just focus on these lyrics specifically because wow they really hit me like Mona for one was in denial of her feelings for MC from the jump and at some point she’s like god this is so ridiculous I can’t believe I’m feeling this way again so ofc she doesn’t want people to know she’s in love (like that time Toby is like man she is NOT happy about liking you! in the club scene) hence the beginning of the first lyric but at the same time….. she’s in love… so “this is my favorite mistake.” As for the second and third, the lies are that “I don’t like you” ra ra ra she’s only fooling herself and then it’s like yeah she knows her feelings are dumb but she can’t help but fall for MC anyway <3

Gonna Love Me, Teyana Taylor [p]

Sometimes we say things that we really don’t mean / We do things in between the lines

Please wait up for me ‘til whenever I get home / I know that you’re all alone / Thinking ‘bout what you’re gon’ do / I hope that you see it through, ooh, ooh

Why is it so hard to keep in touch

For the first lyric, I was thinking of the time MC says “Being with you makes a difference to me. It feels safer” and Mona replies that “It’s just an illusion. A blanket. And I’ve told you before not to count on me.” Yeah she said that wit her chest but ik she knows it’s more than that for the both of them. The second and third lyric both have to do with her being in jail by the end of the book (making it literally hard to keep in touch), and even though she tells MC not to wait up, a part of me thinks the vulnerable part of Mona would’ve hoped at least a smidge that MC would, and the last bit ‘thinking ‘bout what you’re gon’ do / I hope that you see it through’ reminds me of the advice in the diamond scene of driving Mona to the hospital that she gave MC which was that to move on, you just gotta keep your foot on the gas and look forward and that eventually, she’ll be somewhere better than she’s ever been.

Love or Lust, 24kGoldn [p]

It’s love or it’s lust, we just need to be clear / ‘Cause if you’re in love, then I shouldn’t be here

Would you walk eight thousand miles just to make me smile on a rainy Wednesday? / If so, then you gots to go, it ain’t mutual and I’m not pretending

Basically in the beginning stages of MC falling for Mona, Mona’s like oh hell nah (“I shouldn’t be here”) and she recognizes that MC likes her a lotttt (MC would definitely walk eight thousand miles to make her smile on a rainy Wednesday) and so she’s like fuck

PLW, Leon Thomas [j]

Left my fear right at the door (ooh) / She's an animal hunting in the wild, yeah (in the wild) / Doesn't move around or groove / But she come from the depth / That's why she's down to earth / An instrument of war

Baby ain't no beginner / I got love for my little winner / Flashing or finessing / That's why I mess with her, yeah

And you don't have to worry, yeah / 'Cause I know what's she worth / No, you don't have to save me / From my pretty little weapon

Ooh my baby smart, and she sharp, and she sharp, yeah / Pretty little weapon

I’ll never ever get over how this song fell into my lap and is absolutely perfect for Mona. This is for an MC who acknowledges that Mona’s a badass and that she loves her because of her strong personality and unwavering confidence because she knows she’s good at her job. The first verse is the best approach an MC could take – leaving her fear at the door because she knows someone like Mona could sniff it out. The line “No, you don’t have to save me / From my pretty little weapon” kills me, because it’s accurate – on Mona’s route, despite any betrayal, the MC is still in love with her and knows that Mona would never actually hurt her.

Sleeping With the Enemy, BbyMutha & Kindora [j]

Creeping around corners / I don't feel like myself / Studying your movements / It's a carousel / And I can't confirm that you / Mean what you say / And I'm pretty sure / That it's / Better that way

Why can't I trust in you / Am I slipping up / Over you / If it really turned to be the way / That I think / How bad could it be?

And I know that we could go for / Round and round like 123 / And I gotta question myself / Is it coming? / Possibly / And I gotta wonder / Am I sleeping with the enemy?

I'm watching my back / Like I got nothing left / I give you all I got / Wish I knew what was next

The first time I heard this song it was a toss up between whether or not it was a Colt and Mona song (or both) but I settled on Mona pretty quickly after a re-listen. Not only is the internal conflict in the lyrics a perfect description of Mona’s own battle, but it could be easily viewed from MC’s perspective as well. The idea of knowing it’s “wrong”, and mistrusting them but pursuing it anyways is quintessential early Mona route.

The World is a Marble Heart, AJR [p]

We could have been, we should have been / What your heart couldn’t handle

Run away, girl, ‘cause I let you / Now you found some other man, you see / I’m better off without you, ‘cause the man ain’t me!

I’m going right now / To the beginning / What you denied from the start / And now you can’t go breaking my heart

The world is a marble heart / It’s bullshit and we know it

I think the first lyric is definitely MC to Mona because Mona was afraid to allow herself to be in love, and then evidently their relationship couldn’t blossom because Mona ends up arrested (“we could have been, we should have been”). This song called out to me because Mona always comments on how MC’s heart got them into the Brotherhood mess, how MC always think the crew is something they’re not, so MC’s heart is the marble heart and the last lyric (“it’s bullshit and we know it”) is essentially Mona being like girl you know we are not what you think we are. The second lyric is because in a scene after the reveal, Mona drives MC to Riya’s house and MC goes I wish we could run off together and Mona is like just say the word and MC is like I can’t :/// and then Mona is like the only one stopping you is you, and then “I’m better off without you” is Mona being don’t call don’t write don’t text

Would You, Pink Sweat$ [p]

Would you die for me? I would die for you / Would you shoot for me? I would kill for you / Would you run up the bag if I needed you to? / Girl, all the things that I’d do for you / Would you do for me too?

I wanna know when it pops off that you gon’ be right next to me

This was giving Mona and her ex from that scene where MC got a glimpse into Mona’s past. Essentially, Mona’s ex and her were thick as thieves, and when they got arrested, Mona didn’t say anything and her ex did, so Mona was always ten toes down but her ex never had her (Mona) like she (Mona) thought she (her ex) had her (Mona)

Both of Us, YFN Lucci [j]

Stay with me when there's no one else to call / If you got me then I'm in it for the both of us

Look, ayy, do you love me like you say you love me? / Ay, do you vow to keep it cute when everythin' get ugly? / Ay, if I ever leave, girl would you come lookin' for me?

I think that this song and these lyrics fit into the title of the book and how “ride or die” each of the love interests are for MC and vice versa. I think the softer parts of this song are MC for sure, and Logan at times, and the second bullet point is Colt and Mona. For them, it’s more of a promise of loyalty rather than love like the earlier lyric is (which is why I think that’s a bit more hopeless romantic like Logan).

C U Girl, Steve Lacy [j]

I haven't seen you in a while, you know I miss you babe / When you hear this song, feel flattered, it's about your face / And how I miss it and I wish that I could see it more / But you're in college now and I'm about to go on tour

I love this song because it makes me think of the possibility of MC and the LI having a “song” – one where any time they hear it they think of each other. And that when they hear it it makes them happy but at the same time they’re forced do think about the distance between them and how much they miss each other.

Collide, Tiana Major9 and Earthgang [j]

Everybody's got opinions on our thing / Say we're flying down a path with no ending / And if I die before I wake / Ooh, don't let me wake up from this dream / When we collide / When we collide, it's a beautiful disaster / When I crash into you, you, you

And I don't care about the future or the past / Riding slow, 'cause you know the world's moving too fast

Without you, I'm just a fraction / Closing in on my demise / And I love you religiously / With everything inside of me / As long as I'm alive

So I think it fits for all three because the relationship is taboo since they’re criminals and she’s a valedictorian getting ready for college. Their relationship is sloppy and dangerous and comes to an inevitable end, and they both know that, so this song for sure encapsulates how little both the LI and MC care about that. They don’t that it’s a trainwreck, because colliding is all that matters :)

Heaven, Clairo [j]

Alone, for the last time / You're just a loner / Give it a try / And you're hard on yourself / And your laugh, it just melts in my hands / Lonesome in the streets

I'll get by with you on my mind / I'll get by with you on my side

I love the idea of this song being viewed as MC’s perspective of her LI, because I’m sure the other LI’s haven’t been appreciated in the way that she appreciates them. For example, the line about the laugh melting in her hands makes me think about how they’d react to her saying that to them. None of the LI’s probably have never been told their laugh is cute, and I’m sure they’d be confused about it at first, so this whole song gives me a cute late night summer drive vibe. Like the MC is in the passenger seat of Mona or Logan’s car or draped around Colt and she’s just appreciating the things she loves about them.

Heaven Ain’t Hard 2 Find, Tupac [j]

Simply because you nervous, let me start off with my conversation / Hoping my information, elevates the hesitation / I can see it clearly now / Catch you smiling through your frown / I'm askin' Baby Boo are you down?

Heaven ain't hard to find / In fact you can have it just have faith / Just like a little kid, still believing in magic / It takes a lot of sacrifice / With all the lonely nights on tour / I need somebody I can trust in my life

Oh god help me identify me truest thoughts / Your hidden motives full of passion who would of thought / Come holla at me baby, love me for my thug nature / Far from a player hater, label me a money maker / Straight heart breaker

I originally added this song because it’s canon that Colt loves old West Coast Rap, so that makes me think he’s a huge Tupac fan. I can see him listening to this in his car driving down a California highway at like 2 a.m. On the other hand, though, the beginning of the song reminds me of the first meeting with Logan at the party, or the second meeting when they go to the car show – young love jitters and all that.

Keep Me Up, Charlotte Lawrence [j]

My heart starts beating and my hands start sweating / My chest starts sinking and sometimes will even start shaking / It's physical and emotional

And I don't want you all inside my head / And I can feel you running through my veins

When I say, and I say, and I say / That I want you in my life / But you stay, and you stay, and you stay / And you never leave my side / And you take, and you take, and you take / And you say you feel so nice, boy / And you keep me up all night

I think this fits with all the LI’s and MC and how they cope after the LI’s had to leave. Read it from both perspectives and it honestly fits so well for both of them – like the first couple months of restlessness staring at their ceiling while reflecting on how much they miss each other.

Kitchen, Kid Cudi [j]

Hmm, you wanna find somebody you trust and lay low / But it seems they all on the same mission / You wanna find somebody you trust and lay low / But can't stand the heat of my love, then stay out the kitchen

Oh baby here we are, I made a wish on shootin' stars / I ain't even mad at it, we made it this far

The attitude of this song reminds me of both Mona and Colt’s feelings about relationships – they both know they’re intense people and that they don’t trust or love easily, and that whoever’s interested in them needs to know that. They’re not going to apologize for it, but they appreciate anyone who sticks around and loves them despite that.

Meet Me Halfway, The Black Eyed Peas [j]

Can you meet me halfway, right at the borderline / Is where I'm gonna wait, for you / I'll be looking out, night n' day / Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I stay / I can't go any further than this / I want you so bad it's my only wish

I think of all three LI’s when I listen to this, because it fits into the idea of them struggling to maintain both of their lifestyles and have them mesh together. And it plays into the distance when MPC has to scatter.

Moonlight, Trippie Redd [j]

I can still be your man / I was tryna see your plans / 'Cause I was tryna have this dance tonight / Your body, girl, I'm a real big fan / And I cannot lose this chance / So, baby girl, grab my hand / This moment I'm waiting for, I fantasize / I just wanna be with you, I just wanna be with you tonight / Under the moonlight

This reminded me of the prom scene and how despite the chaos, all three love interests took the time to appreciate MC and soak up their last “date”.

out for the night, 21 Savage [j]

Five foot five (Five), she my ride or die (Die) / Never tell a lie (Lie), we like Bonnie and Clyde (Clyde) / Lookin' at her thigh (Thigh), like, "Do it come with rice?" (Rice) / She don't like FaceTime, she would rather Skype / But I'm out for the night (Straight up) / Out for the night (Straight up)

When I heard this song I could definitely see Colt listening to it, but I think the flirtiness of the song fits for all three love interests! Also, I mean… “she my ride or die” and “we like Bonnie and Clyde”? Self explanatory.

Part of Me, Teo [j]

I believe there's no one in your place / So much lovely / You can cure my mistakes / You reside in me no room for escape

You're my darling / You're my love / You're rocking all of your diamonds / All dressed up / And girl I lost my mind, no, I messed up / So now I'm knocking at your doors with my chest up

You're part of me / Come again and see / Diamonds make you sparkle

This reminds me of the prom scene from the LI’s perspective. And even more so than that, it reminds me of post prom/car chase where they have to say goodbye to each other the last time. It’s like a bittersweet tribute to MC about how much they mean to them and how much they’ll think about them when they’re apart.

Special, 21 Savage [j]

We got something special / I was finna text you / But I don't wanna pest you / Even if we ain't together (no matter we're forever) / I'm still coming to your rescue

Ride with me (ride with me) / Tell the truth and don't you lie to me (lie to me) / You know I need you on my side with me (side with me) / Tell the truth and don't you lie to me (lie to me) / Baby, roll with me (roll with me)

I'mma hold you down forever / You my round forever / They just want to use you, but I'm tryna help you

I think of Colt mostly with this song, but it definitely fits with all of the li’s in my opinion! Logan, Colt, and Mona would all approach their relationship with MC this way – constantly affirming that they’re there for MC no matter what, even if things go South with them, they’re always one call away. And especially the last line “they just wanna use you, but I’m tryna help you” that’s for sure an overprotective LI about the Jason Shaw situation and generally people taking advantage of MC’s kindness.

Drunk on Love, Rihanna [p]

Take me away / I wear my heart on my sleeve / Always let love take the lead / I may be a little naive, yeah

I feel like I’ve heard MC being described as naive, and even in the book Mona is like man it’s your damn heart that got us into this mess because you thought we were more than who we are, so yeah this song reminded me of MC.

Final Goodbye, Rihanna [p]

Thought that you would stay forever with me / But the time has come to leave

Promise you our love will carry on

Final goodbye, MC saying goodbye to their LI, you catch my drift.

The Good, the Bad, and the Dirty, Panic! at the Disco [p]

If you wanna start a fight / You better throw the first punch / Make it a good one

I feel like this lyric specifically is saying that if you’re gonna stand for something, you better give it your all, and it reminded me of how MC came up with the plan to defeat the Brotherhood in the last few chapters of ROD, and to get out of it, they really had to go all out (AKA MC telling the police everything, meaning the gang had to go on the run). Also, MC just nose-dived into this life and I feel like this lyric is like ‘well sis if you gon be a criminal you might as well do your best’ (and she did when she bodied her first heist I know that’s right, my driver forever <3).

Harder We Fall, Jessie J [p]

So, whatever path we choose to take / There will be highs and there will be lows, the same / Oh, we’ll never run from our mistakes / The harder we fall the harder we try again

I just feel like this is a good song for MC to listen to in the car on her way to Langston yk crying but the windows are down and the wind is wiping your tears so you just keep it pushing because you’ll live and you’re stronger than your lows.

House of Memories, Panic! at the Disco [p]

If you’re a lover, you should know / The lonely moments just get lonelier / The longer you’re in love than if you are alone / Memories turn into daydreams, become a taboo

I think of you from time to time more than I thought I would

I just feel like this is a perfect song for MC going through the motions of leaving their lover behind and thinking about the times they shared because her life with the crew will always be so drastically different than the life she was went to have (going to Langston, being the ‘goody two shoes’, etc.).

Let It Out, Trippie Redd ft. Myiah Lynnae [p]

I need to know, before I tell you, can I trust you?

Idk man this song really just spoke to me.

Saw You in a Dream, The Japanese House [j]

I saw you in a dream / You had stayed the same / You were beckoning me / Said that I had changed / Tried to keep my eyes closed / I want you so bad / Then I awoke and it was so sad

Haven't talked to you in months / And I thought that I might cry / But I'm not that kind of girl

All good things come to an end / But I thought that this might last / But you came and left so fast

I wonder if you'll come visit me again / You're taking your time to reappear / I'm starting to believe that when I call your name / You just don't hear me anymore / And I know that I shouldn't even try / It's a waste of time

I don’t think I need to go super in depth as to why this reminded me of MC, but I do see this as MC’s defeated approach to it in the months/years after meeting the MPC.

Silent Nite, Tink [p]

I put your joy and your feelings ‘fore mine / These days I’m angry, angry inside / No words to say (oh) / One thing to do / Move on and fall back from you / It’s gonna be a silent night / No one here to hold me tight / It’s gonna be a silent night / No one here to hold me, oh, oh I’m lonely / Lost for words (lost for words)

It’s a short song so I just put the whole lyrics in here LMFAO but I feel like this could be MC during her first few nights at Langston. For Hieron at least, I know she went through a range of emotions processing this new chapter without the people she holds dear, angry at the way this is how things had to play out, but all that’s left for her to do is get over it, move on, and get used to not having that support anymore (i.e. like if MC is used to cuddling with [insert LI], they deadass gotta sleep alone now f in the chat).

Smile, Juice WRLD ft. The Weeknd [p]

I’d do anything in my power to see you just smile / I want you to prosper and come proper / Even if that means I ain’t by your side

I spent every day right beside you (‘side you), ‘side you (‘side you) / A hundred pics of me on your phone / Now you’re someone that I used to know

OKAY so I’m absolutely obsessed with this song and the first lyric was definitely giving me Logan x MC because I feel like this is something he could’ve said during his goodbye, like saying something that vulnerable and heartwrenchingly sweet is def on-brand for him, but the second lyric I feel like fits all the LIs. Like because they were part of the crew, they spent so much time with MC, and now that they’re gone, MC has all those pictures and memories that they want to hold on to them so badly even though they can never be together again (‘now you’re someone that I used to know’)

Stuck With Me, The Neighbourhood [j]

Now I'm feeling guilty for it / Didn't wanna leave / Realized I'm less important / Than I thought I'd be, yeah / I'm not tellin' you for any certain reasons but / I just want your empathy

Our lives keep on gettin' shorter / Losin' opportunity / There might be some other ways of looking at it but / That's just what I see / I been gettin' over myself / Thinkin' about what you need / Then I realised that neither of us matter

You always end up stickin' to me / Somehow, somehow / You are stuck with me / So I guess I'll be sticking with / You are stuck with me / So I guess I'll be sticking with

So I think this song covers a lot of topics for MC. I think the vibe of the lyrics suit MC when she’s dealing with her relationship with her father, being pressured by Jason Shaw, and grappling with whether or not she’s making the right decision despite it all – homegirl was falling in love throughout all of it, too. Reading the lyrics with that lens made me think of each of the lines as a different conversation. The first part sounds like a tidbit of a conversation she could’ve had with her dad or about her dad. The next one is like a realization that despite how careful she is with her choices, nothing matters anyways, if the MC takes a nihilistic approach to it. And the last lyric is her conclusion with the LI that despite everything, she’s happy that she’s with her LI and she’s grateful for their loyalty.

worst behavior, Ariana Grande [j]

I been on my worst behavior / But, baby, I don't need no savior / I'm way outta line / But I kind of like the way I / Feel when I just don't give a fuck

This ain't no game, won't play with you / This time I know I'll stay with you / Just promise you won't say nothin' / Don't you be actin' like that, don't you be actin' like that, babe

Said baby it's just in my nature / To be a little troublemaker

Know you really like the way I / Taste when we kiss, you reminisce / But this ain't the last time / Just stay by my side

This song reminds me of rebellious MC before the gravity of the situation really hits her – the short span of time where she’s not worrying about being Valedictorian or college or her dad’s approval. She’s just living and falling in love for the first time. This could probably work for all LI’s but the specific “troublemaker” line makes me think of an MC who is trying to reassure Logan that she can make her own decisions.

1Day, PnB Rock ft. Ugly God [j]

Momma told me that I wouldn't be shit / Told her one day / I'ma be rich (huh)

One day, I'ma buy a big ass crib / One day, I'ma buy a big ass mansion / One day, all my fucking diamonds gon' be dancing / One day, I'ma fuck a bitch in the Hamptons / One day, I'ma eat the sushi with the salmon

Dropped out of college, everybody said I'm tripping / Told them be patient, but they ass wouldn't listen / Made it big time, now they fucking with the vision / Now I'm really rich, and my diamonds really glistening

The lyrics kind of remind me of the lifestyle that they live – whether or not they fell for the MC in the process, they all kind of have the motive of money and being successful in their own way. Even though the li’s and MC have their own shortcomings and wants and needs outside of MPC, I like to think of this song as an ego booster and probably representative of their attitudes when they joined MPC at the beginning. Reminds me of Logan especially since he joined the life so early and probably romanticized it for the longest time before it really went to shit. And to add to that, the last lyric is Colt all the way.

92 Explorer, Post Malone [p]

Ooh, baby, I see these muhfuckas’ glancin’ / When my whip stop, then my wheels keep spinnin’

Made a lot of M’s, made a lot of moves

This song is literally all about Post Malone’s precious car so I was like LMFAO why not because everyone in ROD loves their cars and then the last lyric is because they be making a lot of money with their transactions/steals.

Best Friend, Saweetie ft. Doja Cat [p]

Beep beep, is that my bessie in a Tessie?

Listen... I feel like we were robbed of the peak best friend dynamic that could’ve existed between Riya and MC so this whole song is for them (also c’mon MC could’ve snatched a Tesla if she reeaaally wanted too so yup that’s Riya’s bessie in a Tessie).

Lost It, Rich The Kid ft. Quavo and Offset [p]

The Bentley don’t cost shit / I walk out the bank rich

Okay, drank sippin’, lane switchin’ / I done brought my gang with me

Ooh, I might snatch the coupe

First one because they really could get any car they wanted, second lyric because gang always together yk, and last one because they really be stealing cars out here LMFAO.

Royal Rumble, Lil Tecca [p]

My life is a movie, you not ready for that clip

It’s a Royal Rumble

ROD really is a wild ride (‘my life is a movie’) and the ‘it’s a Royal Rumble’ just reminded me of the fact that it’s basically a showdown between two crews where one wins in the end but at what cost.

Runnin’, 21 Savage and Metro Boomin [p]

Runnin’, runnin’, runnin’, runnin’

We run the motherfuckin’ city

Fuck your crew, [redacted], we’ll kill your crew

First lyric is because literally everyone has to scatter by the end of the book, and the second lyric just gave me their vibes, whether or not they truly ran the city. The last lyric makes me laugh because Colt really was about to kill the other crew, the ‘we’ is a lilll bit loose in that sense though LMFAO because I know damn well Toby was not ready to go down like that.

Stuntin’ Like My Daddy, Birdman ft. Lil Wayne [j]

What we doing? Getting money / What they doing? Hating on us, but they never cross / Cash money still a company, and, bitch, I'm the boss / And I be stuntin' like my daddy, stuntin' like my daddy

Colt and Teppei don’t get along, but I like to think that Colt not only bumps this song in his car, but secretly imagines that him and Teppei run L.A. – either together or with Colt taking the reins.

Takin’ Shots, Post Malone [p]

Drinkin’ all night, but we ain’t done yet / Waitin’ on the plug, but he ain’t come yet

Already losin’ control, this is the life that we chose

The first lyric and this song overall just give me club vibes, like the underground one they went to where MC wears that neon fit. The part in the second line that always gets me is ‘this is the life that we chose’ because being a part of this crew was a choice for most, and they knew what comes with this lifestyle.

Trouble on Central, Buddy [j]

So the entire song is pretty much the idea “I wish life were better and I’m daydreaming about how good things could be for me”. And to be honest, I think that the vibes of that fit Logan when he was young and broke, but at the same time, I could see Colt bumping this song in a convertible.

VEGAS, ABRA [j]

The whole song reminds me of the gambling scene and the high stakes of it. It kind of reads like the MC trying to fit in with dangerous criminals while she’s there despite the MPC thinking she’s not ready for it

#playchoices #choices rod #rodaw #ride or die: a bad boy romance #choices ride or die #playlist

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argumentl · 4 years ago

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The Freedom of Expression, Radio version - Ep 17, Jan 2016.

Kaoru starts by saying that the date of airing for this episode is the 23rd of Jan, but its weird for them because at the time of recording, it is still only the very start of the month.

He invites listners to contact the show, then gets on with his first topic. He refers back to the topic mentioned on a previous episode about how the sound from a real amp differs from a computerized amp simulator. This time he brought with him two sound clips which each contain the same set riff from the song Soshaku. The difference is that one is the sound produced by a simulator, and the other is a real amp. He plays the simulator produced sound clip first, and then the real amp clip. Kaoru says its partly down to preference, but even though the simulated sound seems pretty good, it gets easily lost amonst all the other parts in the song. Wheras, the sound produced by the real amp is easy to find, and gives the drum/bass/guitar combo much more power. With a real amp he is not making a sound to showcase a guitar only, but a sound that will allow the guitar to contribute to the balance of the song as a whole. It may not sound like a big difference when you hear the isolated clips, but it makes a big difference to the power of the song. Kaoru feels slightly saddened that so many young people these days are buying amp simulators, instead of the real thing. Joe asks Kaoru if Dir en grey have always used real amps, not simulators. Kaoru replies that of course they have always used real amps. He's not saying you can't make a good sound with a simulator, you probably can. But things like the atmosphere, or the sense of reverb don't shine through. He realises that such things can also be created with technology, e.g. with an ambient mode setting etc, but if Dir en grey used such devices in their studio, anyone could go there afterwards and use the same settings on their own stuff. They then both comment on how using this kind of tech can take away the unpredictablity of being in a band. Usually, when you start making music you never know how its gonna end up after the whole band have worked together on it. But if you rely on this kind of computer technology too much, you more or less know how its gonna sound from the start, which takes away a lot of the fun. Kaoru says he uses a computer to do the very first stage of song writing, but after that its a much more exploratory process of using real, live sound to figure out the direction of the song. This does sometimes stress him out a bit, but Joe says that this is where creativity comes from. It becomes too technical otherwise. Musicians are not technicians, they are more creative. Kaoru says he talks a lot with the engineers in the studio about how to get the sound right, which is really helpful. He laments slightly that younger engineers these days are more focused on getting everything done as quickly as possible, rather than discussing ideas with the artist, but he also realises that times change, it can't be helped.

After playing the first record, Kaoru says that he's received a very strange email, reading as follows: “I want to speak through an amp simulator at Abbey Road Studios - Kami”. Kaoru says Kami had better focus on recovering from his cold first, before thinking about anything else.

Next they welcome Tasai for the Tokyo Sports corner. Tasai brings up the topic of the annual Coming of Age ceremony for twenty yr olds (a traditional day to celebrate becoming an adult in Japan, where 20yr olds dress up in kimonos etc). This event sometimes has the image of being quite wild, but Tasai specifically wants to talk about Coming of Age in the city of Kita-Kyushyu, which is even more extreme than usual. E.g, the men wear glittering, flashy hakama, which make them look like total bad guys, the women dress up like '花魁/oiran' (high-ranking court prostitutes) . The whole affair is very extravagant, and often plauged with 'incidents'. Bloodshed even occured at the last one. The police arrived and put a stop to it, but Tasai wonders what the best way to deal with this kind of trouble is. He says his Coming of Age ceremony was actually quite boring, and asks the others what they felt about their own Coming of Age ceremony. Both Joe and Kaoru say they didn't attend theirs. Joe says he didn't go to his because he thought it would be boring, and he doesn't like ceremonies in general. Kaoru says he already had long hair when he was 20, and with the style he had at the time, he didn't feel like joining that kind of event at all. Tasai thinks that one reason the event has developed a wild kind of image is because young people feel resentment at being forced to do it by their elders, so they go wild in retaliation. Joe then says there's no need to hold a Coming of Age ceremony at all. All it does is consume tax. Kaoru says he can't see any meaning to the whole thing. If the event disappeared, it would only be sad for the people who wanna party. Joe mentions that this kind of event doesn't happen in America etc. It is unique to Japan. Teenagers in the US can get a driver's license earlier than in Japan, and gain independence at a younger age. Kaoru mentions that teenagers in Japan are still seen as kids in comparison. They all argree that graduating from high school at age 18 might as well be 'coming of age', because from the year in question (2016), the Japanese voting age was due to be lowered to age 18 anyway. Joe says that at most, some people might want to meet up at age 20 with their high school friends who they hadn't seen since graduation, to which Kaoru states that he has never been invited to any school reunion events. Neither has Joe, and they both wonder why??! Tasai suggests it might be because they are both famous.

Tasai's next topic links back to the theme from last week, tv shows. The tv show in question this time is the popular variety show "Downtown no gaki no tsukai ya arahende!". There are comedy scenes in the show of pro-wrestler Masahiro Chono slapping the shoe's host Hosei Tsukitei for laughs. The interesting thing about this is that outside of this show, Chono usually has a 'no-slapping' policy, including in the ring. This is because a slap can do a lot of damage to someone not used to it. The reason he does it with Tsukitei is because he has a deep amount of trust in him, and knows the boundries of what is too much, or too little. It shows what a professional relationship they have. Tasai then asks Kaoru about his experience of trusting someone on a professional level. Kaoru says the band's staff have been working with them for many years, and they have a relationship whereby they can speak out to each other very freely. It can often be the case that as time goes on people get complacent and get stuck in bad routines, so Dir need, and do have staff that can break such habbits when they occur, and get back on track. He thinks they have a good relationship, and considers them trusted friends. He says that even if the staff suggest absurd sounding ideas, he will at least consider them now, whereas years ago he might have complained. A good example is this very radio show. When it was first suggested to him he was unsure, but after trying it he has discovered a lot of new things about himself.

He finishes with a quick mention of his Budokan shows, and then asks Joe how long he thinks this radio show will continue for. Joe says that shows are commissioned every three months, so they will be on air till at least March. After that the show's continuation will be down to the amount of support the show receives from listeners. Kaoru says he will do his best!

Songs - Dir en grey/Soshaku, Perfect Circle/Imagine.

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression

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pastelsandpining · 4 years ago

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Santa Baby (Christmas List)

The second prompt in 12 Days of Christmas by @zelink-prompts

Prompt List

**Note: For the stories actually involving Christmas, I and a few other authors changed the holiday to Hylia’s Day (credit to @fatefulfaerie for this) so that it’s more relevant to Hyrule

Cover Art: @neezlebums be sure to show some love to the original here!

Words: 2264

Summary: For their first Hylia’s Day together after everything that happened, Link just wanted to gift Zelda something special.

**If I don’t have explicit warnings, read with caution. It simply means there’s nothing I could think of that could be potentially triggering, but I could’ve just missed something. In that case, please let me know and I’ll be more than happy to put a warning!**

BotW, post-calamity with angry child Eggbert because I said so

Zelink-mas 2020 l Masterlist

Relearning everything about his past and about Hyrule was no easy feat. A world that was so familiar yet so foreign still left him unsettled at times, because he was a young adult trying to understand the things that nearly everyone else grew up with. It was fascinating to learn about traditions and holidays and how they came to be, and he did genuinely want to know everything he once knew and more.

It was how he’d ended up awake until the break of dawn, listening to Zelda tell stories of Hyrule’s past. She was in her element when she got to research or explore or teach. Watching her was something he felt incredibly lucky to do, much less sit so close to her on the bed while they poured over books. He wanted to be as prepared as possible.

He’d heard of Hylia’s Day before, but it would be his first time experiencing it (that he could remember). Zelda explained it as a celebration of love and giving, of friendship and of victory. She told him of the festivals they used to hold, and the balls they’d been forced to attend, and of the parties they used to have. She told him of the traditions of gift giving and of family gathering.

And when they finally settled down to sleep, Link asked her what she wanted for Hylia’s Day. She replied just as she always did—that she already had all she could ever want.

It didn’t stop him from trying, though. He brought it up at the most nonchalant of times, during breakfast or trips across the kingdom. He would listen intently every time she spoke, more so than usual, and tried to pick up on any instance of an “I want”. Only once did she give a direct answer, saying she wanted a Silent Princess.

Link was not satisfied with that. It wasn’t special enough, so he took it upon himself to fill Zelda’s nonexistent Hylia’s Day List.

He didn’t expect to feel as nervous as he did when the day actually came around.

“How does this look?” came the voice of Zelda from behind him. Link paused the stirring of his soup to turn around and answer her question. She’d been adjusting the decorations all morning, no matter how many times he’d promised her they looked fine.

“It looks perfect,” he replied. “Just like everything else.”

“Well, good, because I want this to be perfect,” she said, making her way to his side. “It’s the first Hylia’s Day we’ve had since—the first I’ve had outside of a castle. Getting to decorate and set everything up however you want is incredibly stressful. I want our friends to be comfortable and happy.”

“You worry too much,” stated Link in return, bumping her with his shoulder.

“I happen to worry a perfectly healthy amount, for your information.”

He chuckled and turned back to his task at hand: finishing up their dishes for the celebration. The traditions called for a family gathering, and their family was large in both number and size. A little extra wouldn’t hurt, even if their friends were all bringing their own dishes.

“You look beautiful, by the way,” he continued. Zelda’s cheeks flushed, even after a hundred years, and it made him want to smile. He loved when she wore things that were too big for her, including the white sweater that she had to keep pulling the sleeves up on because they were too long. The golden linings made it look fancier than it really was, but she called it comfortable on more than one occasion and it was soft to the touch, so it was one of his favorites too.

“Thank you,” she replied, hugging his arm. “I dressed myself and everything.”

“Wow, impressive,” he stated, pulling his arm free so that he could take the bread out of the oven. He didn’t miss the roll of her eyes before she turned back to the tree tucked into the corner.

“I can’t help thinking something’s missing,” she said. Link placed the pan on a rack before turning to face her again, reaching for one of her hands.

“It’s perfect,” he repeated, spinning her to face him. “The only thing missing is a star at the top, but I don’t think you’d fit.”

She gave his hand a gentle swat and huffed.

“You’re ridiculous.” But she was smiling anyway, and that was enough of a gift for him. He considered pulling her closer, spinning her around and trying to get her to laugh, but there was a knock on the door before he could. Link let go of her hand so she could answer it, and he was unsurprised to see Purah bouncing on her feet at the door, with Symin behind her carrying a far too large bag, probably full of presents.

“Check it!” she exclaimed--her form of a greeting, apparently. “Happy Hylia’s Day, you rascals! I’ve been looking forward to this all year!”

“Purah,” Zelda greeted. “It’s lovely to see you again!”

“You can put the bag down here,” Link told Symin, gesturing to the area under the stairs after shutting the door, keeping the cold outside. Now that Purah had stolen Zelda away for some excited conversation about Sheikah technology, Link had an opening. “Did Robbie manage to.. do the thing?”

“Fix it up? Yeah, I heard he and Purah talking last night. He was able to restore it, but I don’t know if it’ll have all the same functions as before,” Symin answered, his voice lowered to keep anyone from hearing. Some tension in Link’s shoulders relaxed. That was one thing checked off the list—the one thing he was really nervous about.

“I’m gonna owe Robbie an entire decayed guardian for this.”

“He’ll take payments in increments.”

Link snorted and shook his head. As eccentric as Robbie was, he was positive the Sheikah would try and refuse payment. But Link didn’t exactly need his permission to haul a decayed guardian up to Akkala’s Tech Lab, so it would turn out either way. He just hoped, with a glance towards Zelda, that it was the right gift.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Symin asked.

“You could take coats by the door,” Link joked as another knock echoed through their house.

He was pleased to see Sidon, Impa, and Paya were the next to arrive. But he didn’t get much of a greeting out before Sidon, crouching to get through the door, lifted him from the floor in a crushing hug.

“Happy Hylia’s Day, Link! Lovely to see you!”

All Link could really do was pat Sidon’s shoulder in return until his feet were returned to the ground.

The arrivals began increasing faster than he expected, with Teba and his family arriving next—with Kass in tow, of course.

“I’m worried we won’t have enough space,” Zelda stated suddenly, scaring the living daylights out of him. “We could move it outside, but we’d need a fire. I’m sure the Rito are fine with the cold, but we could give everyone else some blankets and coats. Do Zora get cold?”

“I don’t think so,” Link replied, furrowing his eyebrows. “The water in East Reservoir Lake wasn’t exactly warm, and Ruta hurling ice blocks at us didn’t make it any better.” He was still bitter that he didn’t think to use Cryonsis until he’d already been knocked off of Sidon twice.

“But the Zora are used to water, so perhaps they’re used to the cold as well.”

“Why don’t we just ask?” Link pointed out, bumping her with his shoulder. “We have a Zora.”

“You say that like Sidon is a pet,” Zelda scolded, crossing her arms.

“He’s basically a huge Hylian Retriever, yes.”

“Besides, would it be rude?”

Link grinned and ruffled her hair as he said, “Nothing is rude in the name of science.”

“Except eating a frog, apparently,” Zelda bit back, swatting at his hand.

“Oh, let it go,” he laughed. “I ate tons of frogs.”

“And?” she asked, lifting an eyebrow with a smug smile.

“You were right.”

“What are you two love birds talking about?” Sidon asked, and Link jumped for the second time that day. How could someone so large sneak up on him so easy, even if there was a good bit of noise in the house?

“Sidon!” Zelda said quickly, her cheeks flushed with pink. “We were just discussing moving everything outside.”

“Brilliant idea! Do you need help moving anything?”

Link thought of assuring Sidon he was a guest and didn’t need to lift a finger, but apparently those gears in Zelda’s head were turning.

“No, but we have a few extra strings of fairy lights,” she replied, tapping her chin. “We could put lights on the tree outside!”

“You,” Sidon said as he picked her up. “are a little genius, Princess! Everyone, outside!”

Link hardly got a word in before they were out the door. All he could do was laugh at them with a warm smile. This was more than he ever could’ve wanted.

“It’s good to see you happy.”

Kass was smiling at him, just in that way where he looked like he knew all he was thinking.

“Holiday cheer,” Link replied with a shrug, but Kass hummed.

“Ah, yes. Holiday cheer and nothing to do with dear Zelda.”

“Well,” Link sputtered, glancing towards the door everyone else had gone out of. “She helps. How’s, uh, how’s your song coming?”

“Rather well, actually. I think she’ll be pleased with it. Come, we’re missing all the fun.”

And Kass was right. Riju and Teba’s son were chasing each other around the pond, occasionally being joined by other village children, and Yunobo was being used as a rock pile to climb over in the process—not that he looked to mind it much. Buliara was observing carefully from her perch on the ramp, discussing something with Teba and Saki, and he was pleased to see they were all smiling.

Impa was busy scolding Purah for something, and Robbie was coming to her defense, and whatever Symin had interrupted with made them all laugh.

And then, to his (pleasant) horror, he found Zelda and Paya up in the tree, wrapping strings of lights around the bare branches. Sidon was underneath, wrapping another string around the trunk. They were having far too much fun with it.

Zelda spotted him from her perch and waved, and he had no choice but to join them in the decorating.

A little later into the evening, they sat around a campfire that turned out to be a joint effort and swapped various stories while they ate—stories about the Champions, who were there in spirit, about troubles they’ve solved, and other funny recalls of their lives. Link tried to listen, but his attention shifted every time he saw Zelda next to him with a smile on her face.

A gathering so wonderful wasn’t complete without swapping gifts. They’d given and received so many things, but Link chose to wait until everyone was finished to approach Zelda with his gift. Upon seeing the big box, she lifted an eyebrow.

“Alright. I know a Silent Princess isn’t this big, so what could you have possibly gotten me?” she asked, sitting in front of the crate. Link only shrugged and gestured for her to open it up.

Her careful fingers pulled the ribbon apart and she took the lid with both hands. He watched her closely, nervous for what her reaction would be.

Zelda was quiet for a moment, her eyes locked on the contents of the box. When she lifted her head to look at him at last, there were tears glistening in the firelight.

“Where did you find him?” she asked, her voice shaking.

“He was in that same crate on a shelf in your study. I brought it to Robbie and he was able to restore it,” he explained as he pressed the Sheikah Slate into her hands. Zelda tapped the screen with trembling fingers, and he bit back the urge to take her hand.

A soft beep filled the air and a blue light burst from the crate. A metal claw gripped the edge of the box, then a blue eye appeared and flipped its lid in greeting.

Zelda pressed a hand over her mouth and reached the other out towards the little guardian they’d found and studied all those years ago. It beeped again, pleased with her recognition, then scuttled out from the crate.

“It’s in near perfect condition. How did it get..?” But she decided she didn’t care and instead wrapped her arms tightly around Link, whispering out a million thank you’s. All he could do was press a kiss to her head and hold her close.

There were so many things he’d wanted to give her. There were so many things he wanted to say. But he knew of her love for the ancient technology, and he knew of her love for him.

Even if her list hadn’t truly existed, he wanted to give her something special. He wanted to give her everything and more, but for now, he was okay just giving her comfort that he remembered.

He remembered her, and he remembered their adventures, and he remembered her interests.

He remembered.

And by the kiss she’d given him, to the delight and cheering of the others, he thought it turned out to be the perfect gift after all.

Well, until the little guardian butted in with its opinion in not so polite beeps, but some things simply couldn’t be helped.

#zelink #botw link #botw zelda #botw zelink #christmas prompts #zelink prompts #my writing #eggbert said this was supposed to be his reunion dammit link #stop stealing his thunder

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monaownsmyass · 4 years ago

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My Girl

If you have any fic ideas or requests you’d like me to write, you can leave me an ask!

Book: Queen B, Chapter 15

Pairing: Zoey Wade x MC (Bea Hughes)

Genre: Fluff

Rating: G, none

Word count: 3,649

A/N: Literally just chapter 15 with more fluff. If you read my fics, I’m pretty sure it’s obvious I’m a whore for characters slow dancing or just holding onto each other so this chapter was my dream lol. I wrote this cuz when I read it, this song was playing in my head and I knew I had it include it somehow. Highly recommend listening to it while they dance together. Song is ‘My Girl’ by The Temptations

Tag list: @ineedskyecrandall @kamilahsayeet2063 @avalawrencefl @lovekamilahsayeed @thequeenkamilahsayeed @heygmicheelle @djtjsmith14 (lmk if anyone would like to be included or removed in my next fics.)

"Zo? This isn't some Hollywood red carpet premiere, right?" I asked hesitantly while peering out from our limo's window. I suddenly felt very intimidated, realising that I was about to be greeted by a swarm of flashing cameras. "Why are there so many of them?!"

"Hey, we already talked about this! You can't show fear! Paparazzi are like wolves, they smell that stuff!" Zoey took my hand gently and brushed a kiss across my cheek. The sudden spike of anxiety I felt when I saw all the cameras subsided as soon as it appeared when she did so and was replaced by butterflies. "Besides, I'll be there to fight them for you if they get too rabid. You've got nothing to be scared of."

"You'd really fight them for me? You wouldn't mind risking your manicure?" I asked incredulously.

"As long as you cheer me on," she teased. "I'd be a campus legend!"

"I already think you are, Zo." I looked at into her bright eyes that were only made more captivating by her eye makeup. "You're officially the best date."

Zoey leaned in closer to me, eyes sparkled playfully, her breath against my lips as she answers.

"I know."

My heart jumped as her lips brushed mine, but all too soon the limo stopped and the chauffer opened the door. Zoey grinned and pats my cheek, stroking it lightly.

"It's time for your entrance."

She gave me one last kiss on the cheek before sliding out of the limo. I followed her, eyes screaming in pain as I tried to fight not to squint at the camera flashes. My heart started thumping in my chest at all the attention, feeling a little uneasy.

But then I noticed Zoey. She was waiting for me, her hand extended, smiling radiantly and outshining all the cameras while gazing at me lovingly. The sight made my breath hitch. She was seraphic and the flashing lights only made her look like she was glowing. All the camera flashes were going off behind her but her focus was on me. Their attention may have been on us but her attention was only on me.

"Come on, darling. Remember, it's your moment."

I grinned back at her and took her hand, feeling warmth and ease spread through me as she laced her fingers with mine.

"It's our moment."

As we strode down the red carpet, I felt like cowering. I was used to getting attention since my ranking increased but that was nothing like this. All eyes were on me but with Zoey's hand in mine, it kept me grounded. An amity in the sea of unfamiliarity. She would give my hand a squeeze every once in a while as encouragement. 'You're doing great!'.

A little further, an interviewer and his camerawoman stopped us.

"Chad Bentley for Celeb Highlight. You look stunning tonight Miss Hughes!"

"You obviously haven't seen my date," I joked and gestured towards Zoey, feeling much more relaxed knowing she was by my side. "She's the stunning one."

Zoey laughed and squeezed my hand. "We're both the stunning ones tonight, babe."

"Only tonight?"

"Tonight, yesterday, tomorrow and always."

I turned back to Chad to address him. "I'll have to thank my wonderful date for this look tonight, she's the one that put it all together. She really knows how make me stand out even in a crowd as large and glamorous as this one."

"You're tiara is absolutely to die for too! Please tell us a little about it."

"It's garnet and white diamonds in 18 karat gold. Once again, I have to hand all the props to my girl." I removed my hand from hers only to wrap it around her waist and tug her closer to me. "Miss Zoey Wade."

Chad averted his attention to Zoey. "Miss Wade, not only do you look gorgeous tonight, you styled, dare I say, the best-dressed person here tonight and a little bird told me you also produced the top-chart hit of the summer! Is there anything you can't do?"

Zoey lets out a brilliant laugh and responds, "I have yet to find out, Chad."

"That's my girl," I beamed in pride.

"You heard it here first, Highlighters! Looks like we have two new trendsetters on the scene! You both make an adorable and beautiful couple as well! Thank you for your time!"

Zoey and I continued to strut down the rest of the red carpet together, arms linked.

"Heard that, babe?" I nudged Zoey. "Adorable and beautiful couple."

"That's old news, we already knew that."

We laughed as we walked into the ballroom where we heard the guests complimenting the stellar decoration Zoey and I put together.

"Looks like another win for team Zea!" Zoey cheered.

"Since when were we known as Zea?" I questioned. "Why not put my name first? Let's call ourselves Boey!"

"Oh, babe, I adore you, but no," she patted my arm, giving me a sympathetic look.

Just then, Thomas stepped onto the stage and grabs the mic. "Good evening, alums, faculty, Person to Watch hopefuls, and guests alike! Our talent show will begin at ten. In the meantime, please enjoy the refreshments as you mingle. Yes, the mini quiches are wrapped in gold foil. No, they won't poison you... but no promises about the guests. just try to be friends. You might even make some new ones."

The other guests laughed but I didn't know whether to join along or break into a sweat. I felt Zoey bumped her hip against mine lightly and snaked an arm around me to pull me into her. I instantly lost my train of thought at her close proximity.

"That's your cue to get out there and talk up the guests," she hinted at me. "Butter 'em up before the talent show."

"Are you coming with me?" I asked, giving her my best puppy dog eyes, already knowing the answer.

"You're so cute," she turned towards me and gave me a small peck on the forehead. "Unfortunately, I have to do my own rounds. Don't worry, I won't be too far."

"Don't take too long either."

I grabbed onto her hand as she moved to leave my side.

"I'll see you soon, babe," she laughed.

She moved further away, making our arms stretch out 'cuz I refused to let go.

"Bye...," I spoked sadly with a pout.

"I'll be back before you know it, babe!"

My hand slipped out from hers and hung limply by my side. She blew me a kiss before turning her back to me and walked away.

I sighed and went to go talk to the other guests, already missing her presence by my side.

While I was mingling, I snuck glances as Zoey every once in a while. I would get distracted by the littlest things she'd do. From the way her smile lit up her face to her every hand movements to even the way she stood, I noticed everything. It's always been that way with Zoey. Ever since I met her, I'd always catch myself getting enthralled by anything she did. She was a force to be reckoned with and all I could do was stare in awe. She was a celestial being and I was lucky for her to even give me a second glance.

But that's what she did.

Zoey was by the snacks, enjoying a mini quiche when she glimpsed at my direction. She caught me staring and gazed back at me, locking her eyes with mine. I felt myself getting breathless as we shared a heated look. The electricity between us was palpable and I couldn't take it any longer. I needed to feel Zoey's arms around me.

I excused myself from the person I was talking to and made my way towards her, never breaking eye contact. I stopped right in front of her and just stared at her for a second before dropping into a stupid curtsy that I don't even think I was doing right but I didn't care. She was a queen and she deserved to be bowed at. I'm sure Zoey was used to my weird and dorky antics by now anyway.

"May I have this dance, m'lady?" I asked with a huge grin.

"You are so embarrassing," she giggled at me. "Of course you can."

I take Zoey's hand, immediately loving the comfort it brought me, and leaded her to the middle of the dance floor. If anyone deserved the spotlight, it was her and I aimed to give that to her. Being right at the center also helped me show my gorgeous date. I had the most extraordinary woman on my arm tonight. Why wouldn't I want to let everyone know that?

The only problem was that the dance floor was filled with couples doing old-timey dances that made me think of Pride and Prejudice. And I was no Mr. Darcy.

"So," I started, "here's the part where I admit that I've never taken a ballroom dancing lesson in my life."

"I took one, it was so boring," she rolled her eyes. "You have to hold your partner as if they're some sort of cadaver or something."

"Ew," I said but smiled, knowing I wasn't alone. "Are we about to embarrass ourselves in front of all the old waltzing couples?"

She studied me for a moment before breaking into a grin. "It's only embarrassing if you're embarrassed. And I don't have time for that."

You are so right, as usual," I chuckled. "In that case, let's figure out our own slow dance."

I saw her face soften as I took one of her hands, my other arm slid around her waist. I grinned at the challenging gleam in her eyes.

"You better impress me," she teased. "You know you took me away from the best mini quiche I'd ever had in my life, right?"

"I'm just up against a quiche?" I questioned with an amused look. "Psh, I've got this. And don't act like you didn't want me to ask you to a dance, I saw the way you looked back at me."

"Only 'cuz I couldn't help but admire how good you look."

I slipped my arm a little further around the small of her back, then spun her in a sweeping circle that made the skirt of her dress flare out. She laughed breathlessly, her hand gripped mine tighter. The orchestra was nice and all, but Zoey's laugh? God, nothing in the world could compare. My heart soared from hearing it and pride swelled in my chest just knowing that I was the one that caused that heavenly sound.

"They teach you this move in Farmsville, Fancy Feet?"

I breath out a small laugh. "Nah."

"Then where's all this grace coming from, Miss 'I've never taken a dance lesson'?"

"I'm just feeling inspired looking at you."

She giggled as I slowed down. She brushed her lips against my cheek, her voice warm in my ears.

"You're doing a good job impressing me."

I giggled and leaned my cheek against hers.

I brought Zoey closer to me, hugging her and swaying to the melodic tune played by the orchestra, feeling drunk off the grandness of it all. And yet, somehow, the best part of it all was having Zoey in my arms. I smiled to myself, wondering how the hell I got so lucky to be with her here.

I noticed a few people staring at us and whispered to her, "Is it just me, or is everyone in this room watching us?

"Def not just you. Kinda makes me wish we could just sneak away from all these prying eyes."

I looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "What are you saying?"

"Not whatever you're thinking off, get you mind out of the gutter." She rolled her eyes at me but smiled. I just want to sneak you out of the party for a little bit. I'd like to have you all to myself. What do you say?"

I grabbed onto her hand. "Lead the way."

"C'mon, let's find a place just for us."

The two of us snuck out a side exit and darted towards the deserted heart of of campus hand in hand and giggling , fueled by the giddy energy and crisp night air.

"Okay, reiterating, it is so hilarious that we took a limo to the gala when it's like, right on campus," Zoey said, still laughing.

"Idea for next year, we nix the limos, instead we roll out marble walkways from the dorms and everyone arrives fashion show style."

"Babe, your mind!"

We both laughed uncontrollably once again. She laced her fingers with mine, swinging our arms between us as we tried to keep our balance on the wet lawn. I looked at her and let out an involuntary grin. I've never felt happier than right now.

Then I noticed something. "Okay, quick question. The Zoey Wade I know would never walk through soggy grass in designer heels. You're not, like, an alien right?"

Zoey snorted and gave my hand a sharp tug towards her. I gasped at the sudden force but the sound was caught in Zoey's mouth as she kissed me.

"Does this prove it?"

"Mm, I'm not sure, you and that kiss do seem other-worldly. I think I need more time to figure it out..."

I wrapped an arm around her back and pulled her closer, kissing her again. Kissing her truly was transcendental. I shivered as she cupped my cheek, her thumb brushing my cheekbone. I don't think I'd ever get used to her touch. Every small stroke felt like lightning on my skin.

"And?"

It was hard to focus on her question when her beautiful face was mere inches away from mine. It didn't matter how many times I've been so close to her, she still had the same effect on me since day one. I was always a flustered mess.

"Don't they say that mermaids lure their victims by kissing them then dragging them into the ocean? I joked. "Just saying."

"You're impossible," she sounded exasperated but I could hear all the fondness in the world behind it.

A sudden, crisp, breeze blows through campus, blowing mist off the lake causing Zoey to jump.

"Cold!"

I brought my arms around her and pulled her into my embrace, trying to protect her from the cold. I felt her relax into me and hug me back, resting her chin on my shoulder.

"Y'know, I never really said we were done dancing...," I trailed off mischievously.

I couldn't see her but I knew she was smiling. "Hint received, Captain Obvious. Lets just take off our heels first, I can't risk them getting ruined."

We kicked our heels off and set them aside. We returned to our former positions and Zoey started to sway us slowly. Even though we were outside, we could still hear the faint music coming from the orchestra in the ballroom.

"To answer your question earlier, I knew no one would be here now," she spoke gently, quietly. "We have this entire space to ourselves."

After a while, I noticed the orchestra started paying a different song. I recognised it as 'My Girl' by The Temptations. The music swells and I pulled back slightly to see a smile spread across her face as well. I gazed into alluring eyes. I couldn't seem to tear mime away from hers. Not that I would ever dream of it.

"What's that look for?"

"It's nothing," I brushed off. "I just can't believe we're actually here. We made it to the end of this year alive. And I definitely couldn't have done it without you."

"Pshh, of course we did! We're bad bitches. You can't kill us!"

I giggled at her and agreed. "Truth. Still, I'm glad you're here with me... especially after everything we've been through. I really am so lucky to have you by my side."

I rested my head on her shoulder and let out a contented sigh before I continued, "Just a year ago I was a humble girl from Farmsville, and look at me now. Dancing with the most amazing, hottest woman I've ever laid eyes on at the Year-End Gala."

"I thought we agreed we we're tied for that title?"

I gave a little shrug and tightened my arms around her. I felt her reciprocate which only made my heart sing. "If you say so. From where I'm standing, I can't imagine anyone living up to your beauty. Or just you in general. You're an absolute goddess, Zo."

Zoey laughed lightly and shifted so she could embrace me further.

"If anyone can, it's the gorgeous girl in my arms."

I lifted my head from her shoulder to share a smile with her but after a second, she got this far-off look in her eyes. I tucked my head under chin and in response, she rested her cheek against the top of my head. I inhaled the intoxicating musk of her flowery perfume, leaving all my thoughts about only Zoey.

"What's wrong?" I whispered into her neck.

"It's just weird, looking back at this year. So much has changed in such a short time." She paused for a moment before resuming. "Before you got here, I didn't have any real friends. I started to think I'd never find a clique to fit into."

"Well, you didn't really get a clique. It's just me..."

"Babe, stop that. You're not just anything. You're everything and so much more."

I smiled into a neck, feeling myself blush at her words.

"I didn't think I'd meet anyone when I first arrived here too. I guess we got lucky that we found each other."

"So lucky." I felt her take in a deep breath. It's like the Fates conspired to make us an unbeatable friends-slash-roommates team."

"You sure you don't wanna add anything else to that?" I half-joked.

Zoey chuckled and nudged me to look up at her to give me a light kiss on the lips.

She looks me straight into my eyes. "I'll add one right now. How does friends-slash-roommates-slash-girlfriends sound like?"

"Zoey Wade," I pretended to be baffled even though my heart was beating like a drum. "Are you asking me to be your girlfriend now?"

"It's as good a time as any. It's romantic, isn't it? We're all dressed up, slow dancing to an orchestra playing a 60's love song with no one else in sight."

I beamed at her. "It's perfect."

I leaned up and gave her a long, passionate kiss, trying to convey all the emotions I felt towards her into it. Kissing her was always an experience. It was thrilling every single time. I could kiss her a millions times and I'd still be dazed by the end of it. I thought my heart was going to burst from how full it felt.

"In case that wasn't clear enough," I spoke breathlessly with a smile. "The answer is hell yes."

She grinned back at me, that heart-stopping, breathtaking, infectious grin of hers.

"I hope you know this means that this is our song by default now," she said playfully.

"It's only right. And I'm not mad about it, I'm glad even."

She pulled me into her once again and kissed me. God, I couldn't believe I get to call this woman my girlfriend. I'm the Zoey Wade's girlfriend. I smiled into the kiss at the thought.

I broke the kiss and rested my forehead against hers.

"What would I do without all the happiness you bring me?" I whispered.

"Aww, someone call Hallmark because that was disgustingly cheesy," she teased.

"Only 'cuz it's so true."

I cupped her cheek in my palm, feeling butterflies as she leaned into it. I wasn't kidding when I said I was still very affected by her.

"Really, you've been my sanctuary from all the bullshit. Whenever I'm feeling down, I just have to think of you and I feel better. Nobody makes me happy like you do. You're the first person I see every morning and the last person I see every night."

"Yeah because we share a dorm, genius." She was being a smartass but I could feel her cheeks warm up at my confession.

"And I wouldn't want it any other way. It's the best way to start and end the day. When I'm with you... things just feel right."

"I'm so glad you said all those embarrassing stuff so I don't have to." She leaned in to kiss my nose. "But I feel the same way."

"You say 'embarrassing', but admit it, your heart's fluttering a little bit." Mine definitely was.

Zoey laughed brightly and spins me, then she dipped me low to the ground with a smirk.

"Try a lot," she whispered against my lips and gives me a peck. "You're a damn good dance partner, by the way."

Before I could respond, I felt water being sprinkled all over me and noticed both our outfits getting damp.

"Oh my god!"

Instead of freaking out and worrying about it, we just looked at each other and laughed. Nothing could ruin this moment and if we had to return to the gala sopping wet, then so be it.

"Who the hell sets the sprinkler to go off at this time?"

Zoey pulled me back up from the dip and into her arms, still laughing as we held onto each other, letting the sprinklers shower us.

I couldn't care less about the damn award or the gala or anyone else. The only thing that mattered was the stunning woman in front of me and that I was incredibly contented to just be here.

And the only thing that could make me feel this way?

My girl.

(More fics!)

#zoey wade #zoey x mc #zoey qb #qb #queen b #qb choices #choices #choices: stories you play #pb #pixelberry #playchoices #qb fanfiction #choices fanfiction #this isnt the best i just wanted to include the song #sorry

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jus-tea · 5 years ago

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Going to explain a little about the Miss Rhona lyrics, what inspired different aspects etc, as I’ve seen a lot of people speculating over it, and coming up with their own ideas (which I fully support!) but for those who are curious...

1st Stanza

“Daddy’s at the food store” So, when this was written, myself, my partner, and seemingly everyone was spending so much time going from supermarket to supermarket trying to find the basics, the essentials. Pasta, flour, sugar etc were sold out seemingly everywhere. The weekend just before this was written he’d lined up for half an hour before Costco opened to ensure he acquired some toilet paper- which seemed impossible to get ANYWHERE. I had colleagues who sent their adult children to shops everyday (they couldn’t cause they were at work) to try to find toilet paper somewhere. We ran out at work, and ended up with tissues. People, generally, were spending so much more time trying to find essentials at supermarkets. It’s not nearly as bad now, but just over a month ago when I wrote this it felt like a big issue. Also, “food store”?! NO ONE HAS CALLED ME OUT ON THIS which I find so weird because no one actually says, “food store”?! What a weird expression! So why did I use it? Well! Initially I thought “cost-co” but didn’t use it because I wanted the rhyme to appeal more universally. And we only got a Costco in my city a few years ago and I know plenty of places in the world don’t have one so... I thought maybe supermarket? But thought maybe they didn’t call them that in other countries- market? Market sounded so strange as it’s really only fresh fruit and veggies we get in our local markets here (in my part of the world) and didnt fit with the image I was trying to create and besides all our markets were cancelled as they were too crowded.. so “food store” was initially just a place-hold. I still can’t believe literally no one has said “hey wtf is up with “food store? No one says that” but there you go. It’s in literally every version ive seen as that so... that’s what it is now. So, that line about the food store and collated with the next line, “mummy’s our of town- she’s working at the hospital” was based on news articles I’d read about doctors having to isolate themselves from their families by sleeping either at hospital or in their garage. People who couldn’t see their kids for ages, it was really sad! And then combining these lines, it’s about how these little kids for the first time really are sometimes being left home alone because their parents have stuff they *have* to do; get food or work, and lots of kids these days don’t get left home alone anymore, it was common when I was little but not for a long time! But seemingly suddenly with this pandemic it’s happening again. And I hadn’t seen that talked about but I was seeing glimpses of it and it, felt weird? I guess? So that made for the perfect beginning to a covid19 nursery rhyme- a kid getting left home alone a lot and not being really sure how to respond to that.

So, with the hide away lines, there’s 3 stanzas and in each miss Rhona gets closer. The first one is she’s “come to town”. Now I remember that feeling on that day learning that the first coronavirus case had occurred in my city. Up until then there was a bit of a sense of dread, like you knew it was everywhere else, then in the news it got closer and closer, with cases in small country towns nearby. But when it got to my city it was suddenly so real. And that’s where the story starts because Miss Rhona was HERE. She arrived in the kid’s town. The line, “she’s come to take us down” is another way of saying “she’s going to get you” and also links to the final line which reveals her success “she took us down/she’s brought us down”.

2nd stanza

So, she goes from being in town to being “at the doorstep” which represents getting closer- being in those people the child might interact with everyday- and imagined more literally in the postal worker delivering a package (actually ON the doorstep) or food delivery or anyone who they’d still have close contact with. But “I’ll keep 6 feet away” is a self reassurance that if they just do the right thing and keep their distance everything will be ok. But then the conflict! Grandma needs toilet paper, EVERYONE needs toilet paper and no one can get it anywhere! No doubt the dad is our trying to find some more while he’s at the “food store”. And I was thinking... my children’s grandmother lives in a different state to us but if we were in the same one you can bet your life id be out dropping essentials at her doorstep whenever I could- tp included. (Although, tbh the tp issue didn’t seem as bad in her state from what she told me) so in this bit I guess I imagined myself as the child because that would be something important to me, to make sure my elders had their essentials. Idk I tried to help where I could, got baby wipes when I found it for a friend with a newborn, stuff like that. So the conflict is the child’s sense of responsibility ensuring their grandmother has what she needs, while also knowing that the coronavirus, Miss Rhona, could reside in anyone they meet along the way. Kind of like a little red riding hood situation linking the dangers of strangers. So they open the door due to this sense of responsibility and, oh no, Miss Rhona was at the doorstep, remember? Now the child has it too; “Miss Rhona’s come to stay” IN THE CHILD. This line was to use the imagery of Miss Rhona coming to stay with the child at their house, like an aunt might come to visit for the weekend, but symbolises the virus coming to live within the child, they’ve caught it now, which is why they definitely, “can’t come out to play”.

Stanza 3

“But grandma needs the paper” that’s where the conflict arises again- the child’s sense of responsibility, maybe guilt even? Overshadowing their understanding of just how serious the virus would be should their grandmother catch it. They’re just a kid remember? They don’t understand. So they take her some anyway, everyone needs toilet paper! Also, I know that phrasing it as such misleads the listener to think about a newspaper. Thats how we talk, “I’ll get the paper!” My dad says ... often. But, 2 things, it rolls off the tongue easier than “grandma needs toilet paper” which would’ve messed up the rhythm anyway, and also, for anyone who’s lived it you would automatically know about the “great toilet paper shortage of 2020” 😅 there were so many memes about it and it was funny that everyone was obsessed with it but if you were one of those people who genuinely really couldn’t find any- and there were lots!- then it kind of sucked. And that’s a memory that’ll stick with you 🙈

So. The note. “And here’s a note from Rhona she wanted me to say” imagine the child at the grandmas doorstep, she’s bringing her tp (that’s nice) but the child is infected, and hands grandma a note. I imagined like a little filed up piece of paper in their back pocket they take out and hand over, to pass on the message from their aunt living in their house. As kids would do- what teacher hasn’t given their student a note and said “go tell mr x such and such” and the note is a reminder of what to say. But the note they hand over is also a metaphor. It symbolises contact between the grandmother and grandchild, and as grandma took it, she caught the virus too. And the note reads,

“Hide away, hide away, keep 6 feet away”

Which is that line repeated all the way through the rhyme. In the end, it’s what Miss Rhona was saying all along. Hide away children...

And the final line is a throwback to near the beginning, “she took us down” because earlier remember she came to “take us down” but now it’s happened and we’re in past tense. She did it. She took down the grandma, and possibly the child too, although I left that as ambiguous. To be taken down here is the symbol for death, of course. It’s pretty grim. But that was the point i suppose.

And that’s where it ends. Anything after that, while I’ve seen some adaptations made which sound really cool, doesn’t really make sense with the story, because they died in that moment. And continuing on after that seems a bit overkill, because I gues, perhaps symbolically at least, who would be able to continue singing the rhyme once they had already died?

But having said that, it’s still nice to see people get exited about it and want to contribute more lyrics too. Making up stories, songs, games, art in general, it’s a way we’ve found to cope i think? Like dark and morbid stories are a part of our culture because we respond to them. Lessons, feelings, etc. people far more articulate than I have explained before...

So. That’s Miss Rhona. This explanation was written really roughly and I apologise for that, but you get the gist. I strongly recommend for anyone who hasn’t already to check out the #miss Rhona recordings hashtag on my blog, because some of these melodies people have put to it are really beyond words. Dreamy, haunting. Peaceful. Childlike. Much more than the original chant-like skipping rhyme I originally envisaged.

Thanks for reading this far... please be safe and look after your grandmothers ❤️

#miss rhona discourse

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sapphicunicorn · 4 years ago

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[MonHun] Raging Flames and Dancing Swords - 1,731 words

It's been three days of chasing a single Glavenus. Tavia's tired, hungry, and wants a bath. She wants to go back to her own solo hunts but she also really wants her cut of the reward. All she has to do is cut off the tail. Simple, right?

More exploration of Tavia and Ryiel, my girls I've been building since Tri/4. Have some action! (The villages of Aquarin and Sleat don't exist, I made them up, but the Hinmerun Mountains exist in the Schrade Region!)

Part 1 of 3 (parts 2 & 3 will be posted on AO3 & FFnet and linked here!)

Tavia threw fresh twigs into the coals of last night’s fire and stoked the embers. Smoke mixed with the early morning mist, tickling her eyes and nose. Her stomach rolled with hunger after yesterday’s hike. They’d thrown up their tents and fell over with exhaustion before they could decide an order for the nightly watch.

Thankfully today was the last day of the hunt.

[Read on ao3 || ffnet || under the cut]

The party had followed the Glavenus for two days, trading blows and cautiously letting it escape across the mountain forests, chasing it further from the nearby village. It was exhausted, the spines along its back broken, a substantial gash in its side where their gunlancer broke through thick plates. All the party had to do was follow the line of broken trees and blood, pushing it from its desperate meals until it settled into a well hidden nest.

The party leader sent a letter for a guild rep yesterday. If everything went according to plan, they could load up the corpse and collect their handsome reward before the sun set.

Tavia just had to slice off the tail. Simple.

She stirred up the fire until it swallowed the twigs, lively and warm, before settling down to her rations. She missed Guild-sanctioned camps and the fully stocked canteen. Starting her morning without eggs and a hot drink was no morning she wanted to face, but here she was, the first of the party to rise.

Clouds speckled the lilac sky, distant birds making themselves known with noisy clarity. Tavia swatted at the bugs that whined around her ears and took another bite of her rations.

Tavia hated nature. She hated dry salted meat. But today was the last day.

Behind her, a tent flap ruffled and the gunlancer stepped out, fully armored except his helmet, and stretched his arms wide. Taking a deep breath of the crisp air, he groaned as his bones popped and ran his hands through his short gray hair.

“Ah, just when I think I’m getting too old for this, we get a view like that.” He nodded towards the horizon, the hilltops and trees covered with mist and haloed by the rising sun.

“I’d trade it for a sturdy roof over my head,” Tavia said. Two days of traveling and fighting and she still didn’t know her team by name; no one seemed offended that when she did address them, it was by their weapon. “Give me a rundown tavern with watery ale and lice in the beds over this outdoor living any day.”

“You city-dwellers are all the same. You’d trade your freedom for those walls, eh?”

Tavia spit a chunk of gristle into the fire; it spit and hissed like an angry cat. “Maybe not that far, but walls are better than wide open spaces. Anything can show up in a spot like this.”

“That’s why we sit watch.” He frowned, his eyes searching around their paltry campsite. “Speaking of, where’s Royse?”

Tavia shrugged, not entirely sure which member had last watch. Did she even take a shift? A hazy part of her remembered leaning against a tree, her knife across her lap and her long sword on the ground beside her. Did someone switch with her? She barely remembered crawling out of her tent. She only remembered hunger.

“Beats me,” Tavia said. “We seem to have made it through the night, though. Unless this is all some ugly nightmare.”

The gunlancer looked up suddenly and Tavia held her breath, strained her ears. Did a predator sneak up? No. Somewhere in the distance was the clatter of cart wheels and hooves, and the raspy singing of felynes.

The gunlancer smiled, his lined face suddenly youthful. “Nah, it’s a dream come true. I’ll get the rest of ‘em up.”

He disappeared into the other two tents and it wasn’t long before the other members of the party stumbled out. The party leader—a gunner as old, but not as gray, as the gunlancer—rubbed his bald head as he sucked on a strip of jerky. The hammer user—a woman with biceps bigger than Tavia’s—sat across the fire and began to rebraid her hair.

The Guild cart was pulled by a small team of anteka; three energetic felynes bounced in the back, their paws waving wildly as their song came to an end. Beside the cart, dressed in blinding white and red, the Guild representative walked with her nose in a book. If it was anyone else, Tavia would claim it was impossible to hike and read at the same—but this was Ryiel. For her, it was expected.

Ryiel glanced up and waved with a smile. Tavia’s heart fluttered, her ration nearly stuck in her throat. Coming up the hillside, Ryiel looked like a dream. Her uniform was spotless, cap still straight on her head, not a single golden thread on her capelet snagged after hiking. Her dark skin was dewey, her black eyes sparkling as she tucked one of her microbraids behind her ear.

Meanwhile Tavia was in her underclothes, sweat baked into the fibers from two days of fighting, her milky skin crusted with mud, greasy red hair stuck to her head. She smelled like a Congalala’s backside.

Not exactly the way she wanted to meet Ryiel again, but if Tavia was being honest, she didn’t expect to ever see Ryiel out in the wilderness. Tavia had found her plenty of times inside Dundorma or small towns, and Tavia often spent too much time searching for her only to find her bent over reports and books. More than twice, Tavia enticed Ryiel out of her bookish den for dinner and drinks.

But Tavia was intentionally dressed up for those occasions. She did her best to seduce the Guild girl who was known for her meticulous reporting, her always tidy appearance. What would Ryiel think of her now?

The leader stepped forward to greet the Guild representative. She traded her small book with a large leather-bound journal from her rucksack and opened to a marked page.

“This is the party of Emil, Royse, and Tavia, led by Marco, correct?” Ryiel asked. Her soft voice sent chills down Tavia’s spine.

“That’s us, ma’am,” the bald leader, Marco, said. “We’ve got the Glavenus a few miles west from here.”

“Already dead?”

“We’re putting it down today and hope to deliver the tail to the village chief.”

Ryiel consulted her journal again. “‘The village of Aquarin requests the removal of one Glavenus endangering the vicinity. Reward requirements include hunting the aforementioned monster and presenting the tail at the village; the hunter, hunting party, or Guild may choose what to do with the corpse,’” she read. “Is someone claiming the body?”

“I am,” said the hammer user. “Got a blacksmith willing to make me some new armor if I bring it in.”

No one discussed the specifics with Tavia. Thankfully she wasn’t shopping for new weapons or armor. She just wanted the money.

Ryiel pulled a pencil from under her cap and made a few marks in the journal. She smiled with satisfaction at Marco. “Excellent. Should I wait here until you’re finished?”

“It should be safe enough,” Marco said. “We’ve been trying to push it away from the village so I can’t see it doubling back this way.”

“I can stay behind if things go wrong,” the gunlancer said.

“Emil, come on, you know—”

“I can take care of myself just fine,” Ryiel said with a wicked smile. She motioned to the felynes still bouncing in the cart. “Don’t worry about us. Focus on your hunt and we’ll approach when you’re ready to load up.”

Marco looked over the party, his apprehension plain on his face.

Tavia knew from experience that Guild representatives weren’t pushovers; while some hunters traded the field for paper, other Guild reps were washouts from training, people who couldn’t make the leap from greenhorn to officially licensed. Everyone who worked within the Guild had some sort of weapons training.

And Tavia happened to know a bit more about Ryiel’s experience than she wanted to share.

“Let’s just get it done,” the hammer user said. “My feet hurt and I’m ready to soak in a hot bath.”

“Seconded,” said Tavia. She stood and stretched out her back. “It’s probably slept less than we have and it’s definitely lost more blood than us. Should be an easy target.”

“Alright, alright,” Marco sighed. He went towards his tent. “Let’s suit up and get moving.”

The gunlancer—what was his name, Emil?—was the only one in armor and was already tearing down his tent. The hammer user—her name must have been Royse—jumped up, her green hair now in a single braid, and entered her tent to dress. After Emil rolled up his tent, he offered to collect some firewood for Ryiel, in case the hunt went longer than expected, and disappeared into the forest.

It was just Tavia and Ryiel near the fire.

Tavia’s palms itched to reach out and stroke Ryiel’s face, but her hands were filthy, blood and dirt caked under her nails. And maybe Ryiel wouldn’t appreciate the touch, anyway. They were still new to each other. In Ryiel’s own words they weren’t official . . . yet.

Ryiel offered a dazzling grin that sent Tavia’s heart racing. “I hoped it was you,” she said quietly. She kept her distance from Tavia but it wasn’t cold, just professional. For a quick moment it looked like she wanted to lean into Tavia—and then she was gone, turning away towards the cart and unhooking the anteka. The felynes crawled off the cart and circled the fire.

“It’s good to see you, Ryiel,” Tavia said. That was safe enough. “I didn’t know you came out on the field.”

“I go wherever the Guild needs me. You wouldn’t know it by looking, but I actually know my way around the Hinmerun Mountains very well.”

“Am I going to hear the story behind that one?” Tavia asked. She loved to listen to Ryiel talk about herself, but Tavia still didn’t know where she came from or how she came to the Guild. Tavia had already spilled her simple story; hers was boring, easy. Ryiel made her beginnings seem mysterious.

Ryiel winked, a finger held up in front of her lips. “Maybe one day. You better get dressed for battle first. Happy hunting today.”

#monster hunter #fanfiction #fanfic #monhun #writeblr #amwriting #monster hunter oc #wlw #short fiction

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eclecticminded · 6 years ago

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Luck Of The Draw

1233Dearest @sweetcannolicarisi sorry this took so long. I included the happy ending as advertised. Hope you enjoy and this helps ease a little of life's stress having something cute to read.

You and Peter hit it off but grow apart.

Warnings: Sex but only a little.

Words: 1233

Tags: @southsiderepresent @glimmerglittergirl @madpanda75 @southern-magnolia @katmstanton @esparza-army @sweetsummertime99 @obfuscateyummy @lifeisbetterwithbarba @lyssa1385 @hux-me-up @bowieisawizard @sleepylunarwolf @mrsrafaelbarba @thatesparzacrush anyone else ask!

Also I have a Kofi (link in blog description) if anyone wants to donate!

You met the ever challenging Peter Stone while visiting your aunt. He was at the facility to see his sister and you two hit it off immediately. When you found out he took a cab to visit his sister, you volunteered to give him a ride since you visited on the same day anyway. He would in turn use the money saved to buy you dinner afterwards. It was a great friendship.

When your cousin got married you begged and begged him to be your date, you couldn’t go alone or else you’d get nothing but shit from that side of the family. He relented after a couple days and much begging. He made it very clear he hated weddings, but he was doing it for you. And only you.

The ceremony itself was boring and you mother chastised you for laughing with Peter. The two of you made fun of the ugly dresses and hungover groom. It was nice to have someone to talk to with a family you didn’t particularly get along with. The reception was when the real fun happened.

The pair of you sat at the table all the way in the back to avoid conversations with others. It was a buffet dinner, but neither of you left the other alone for fear of someone else approaching one of you. You even went to the bathroom at the same time. After cake was when everything got better. The cleared some tables and set up a small dance floor.

You and Peter danced and drank, having the time of your lives. You avoided the slow songs, but got lots of angry glares on the way you danced on each other during the other songs. They were just jealous you brought the best looking date and he wouldn’t talk to anyone but you. By some twist of fate, you caught the bouquet and he caught the garter belt. They made you slow dance together as people aww-ed around you. Once the bride and groom took the floor you slunk off to your table.

“Wanna blow this place and go back to our room,” Peter whispered in your ear, his warm wet breath making your spine tingle.

“Yes,” you nodded adamantly and snuck out before anyone noticed. Once the elevator doors closed, Peter had you pinned against the wall kissing you, it was a long ride to the twentieth floor. When the doors opened your lipstick was smeared across his lips, but he didn’t care. He lifted you with ease, your ankles locked behind him, to carry you to the room.

Inside your clothes were quickly lost, and you were on each other like teenagers discovering sex for the first time. For hours you swapped between making love and rough fucking. Once the neighbors banged on the wall to get you to stop. You finally called it quits when the front desk called and asked you to keep it down. You fell asleep in a sweaty heated, but satisfied, pile oflimbs. The next morning was a quick round two, then back to life as usual.

After the wedding, you and Peter tried to date. You both had busy lives and half the time the dates were cancelled or forgotten. The only times you really saw each other were on the visits upstate. When his sister died, even that got taken away. Slowly you drifted apart and stopped trying.

That was until one morning you woke up missing him like crazy. You knew where his office was and decided to surprise him with coffee. When you showed up he was shocked to say the least. He welcomed you in and offered you a seat, it all seemed very awkward.

“Why are you here,” Peter was organizing files on his desk, “Not that I mind. Just curious.”

“I missed you,” you smiled.

“I missed you too,” he smiled back, “Missed our friendship.”

“About that,” you blushed and averted your eyes, sipping your coffee.

“What,” he leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up.

“I miss us. I want to try dating again,” your voice and eyes were so full of hope that quickly drained as he hesitated.

“I’ve met someone new,” he cleared his throat, “I’m seeing someone.”

“Oh,” your shoulders fell in disappointment, “I shouldn’t have assumed I’m sorry.”

“Hey, we can still be friends right? Maybe we can start having our biweekly hangouts again,” Peter was trying so hard not to hurt you, it was sweet, but it still stung.

“Definitely,” you scrambled for the door, “I’ll text you.” You burst out of the door and a tall scrawny man slammed right into you, he was solid and the coffee in your heads spilled all over your shirt.

“I am so sorry,” the thick Staten Island accent dripped with concern, “Are you okay?”

“Not really,” you huffed and threw the cup away, “It’s just a craptastic end to a craptastic day.”

“Listen, how ‘bout you go clean up,” he pointed towards a bathroom you hadn’t noticed before, “and I’ll meet you back here after I talk with my ADA?”

“Why,” you eyed him suspiciously and inched towards the bathroom.

“Because my mama raised me right,” he smiled and it reached his beautiful eyes, “I should buy you another coffee.”

“Okay,” you nodded and rushed to the bathroom. There was only so much you could do with paper towels and a hand dryer, but the shirt was salvageable. When you went back to meet the man he was exiting Peter’s office. Great, one of his friends.

“Ready to go,” he smiled, “I’m Sonny by the way.”

“Y/n,” you shook his hand and followed him, “I walked here, do you mind driving?”

“Not at all, “he lead you into the elevator, he seemed so sweet.

“How do you know Peter,” you winced at how forced the words sounded.

“Stone? Oh I work with him, I’m a detective at SVU and he’s our ADA,” Sonny checked his phone then turned his attention back to you, “How do you know him?”

“If you want that story,” you let out a long sigh, “It’ll take more than coffee to explain.”

“Oh,” Sonny raised his eyebrow, “Dinner then? I can take you home to change if you want.”

“You asking me on a date detective,” you crossed your arms over your chest in mock annoyance.

“What if I am,” he matched your stance.

“Then I’d have to say yes,” you chuckled, “A handsome and not creepy stranger asking me for dinner? I’m on board.”

“Dinner it is then,” he stepped out of the elevator, “My truck is out back.”

“Lead the way,” you giggled. You’d never agreed to go to dinner with a complete stranger, but it felt so right. You smiled at all the possibilities and ran to catch up with his long legs. He noticed you running and slowed down.

“Sorry,” he matched himself to your pace, “What are you smiling about?”

“Just thinking about how everything happens for a reason,” you exited the door he held open for you.

“I don’t know the story yet, but Stone’s loss,” he shook his head in amusement.

“His loss is your gain,” you winked and took his hand. Sonny grinned and led you to his truck. Luck was on his side today when he drew the short straw and had to take Peter some case files.

#peter stone #peter stone x reader #peter stone imagine #peter stone fanfic #sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi imagine #sonny carisi fanfic #law and order special victims unit #law and order special victims unit fanfic #law and order special victims unit imagine #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #law and order svu imagine #svu imagine #svu fanfic #mine #my writing

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witchqueenofthemoon · 6 years ago

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BODY AND SOUL Part 8 (Duncan Shepherd/Mackenzie Stone Millory AU)

BODY AND SOUL MASTERPOST

Author’s Note: Whew, okay y’all, Duncan and Kenzie are dragging me along at a breakneck pace, trying to tell me everything at once and I’m trying to get them to slow down so I can organize everything, but I can’t stop writing this fic. I’ve been forgetting to eat I’ve been so wrapped up in it. I keep trying to take a break for a day but I don’t feel like doing anything else half as much as I feel like writing. That’s an amazing feeling I haven’t had in...a really fucking long time, years and years. I have to thank some of you again for your love and attention to me and this story: @nat-de-lioncourt, @impiorumrequies, @carousallie (thanks for your tips about cool DC places, darling!), @ladywriter94 (who had a fucking dream about Duckenzie, oh my god, a dream I’ve vowed to make into a scene at some point), @ghostwithangeleyes (who made this edit a few days ago!), @icouldrun, @hi-ilovedamien (who made this which I fucking love and is writing an amazing Millory fic of their own that you should definitely read, Dichotomy), @killcort and @amanda-d0000, Thank you. There’s a lot of stressful stuff coming up for Duckenzie regarding outward pressures; the good news is, they have each other. Here’s Billie Holiday’s BODY AND SOUL, which is a song I had never heard before until a few days ago, though now I feel like it’s as integral a part of this story as any other song I’ve listened to or included as inspiration (and her name is Billie too; how amazing is that). I based Madeline’s little china dolls on the work of an existing artist, but I looked for her to link to it and couldn’t find it again; if anyone knows of an artist who modifies china dolls so they’re little grotesqueries, let me know, because it’s probably the artist I was thinking of. Like Annette, I found Madeline (who is based on Carrie Fisher) challenging but ultimately rewarding to write; she sees the world very differently than Annette, and it was important for me to communicate the differences in Duncan and Mackenzie’s upbringings with their mostly-single mothers. I listened to Rihanna’s KISS IT BETTER a lot for the sex. As ever, if you’re reading and enjoying, your comments and reblogs are everything to me.

Kenzie pulled at the latch handle on her mother’s hardwood front door, stepping inside warily, practically tip-toeing. She was immediately enveloped by the warm, wonderfully inviting, deeply nostalgic smell of her mother’s homemade spaghetti sauce; a smell she seemed to be able to pinpoint in her dreams sometimes (smells in dreams, always weird, she thought). It juxtaposed sharply with the sinking feeling now nestling deep into her guts, the foreboding feeling of being a disappointment to her mother, who she couldn’t help but idolize in her own secret way; couldn’t help but want to impress, make proud, bring contentment.

She moved slowly through the doorway, setting her satchel down by the door, slipping her kitten heels off and checking with a soft tap of her hand that her phone was still tucked into the large pocket of Duncan’s cardigan, then moved past the staircase and into the living room, with its large oak-framed fireplace and soft, squishy, jump-in-there mulberry-colored couch, gazing at the odds and ends of her mother’s house, the tchotchkes that defined so much of her mother’s energy in her head. Her mother loved weird paintings in particular; things that looked like other things; on the mantel was her growing collection of delicate china girls that had been reconfigured to feature odd anomalies; one girl had tentacles growing out of her arms, another was holding her own disembodied heart with a hole in her chest, one had a gaping hole in her side, her arm on the little porcelain patch of grass at her feet, and a dazed, zombie-like expression, her mouth a mess of blood and gaping teeth. Kenzie had bought a couple for Madeline one Christmas while she was still in college, seeing them in an online shop by an independent artist; their defiant monstrous femininity was Madeline always in Mackenzie’s eyes, and they’d made her think of her mother right away. Over time, Madeline had acquired more, and now they formed a small monstrous army there. On the wall over the fireplace, her eyes dusted over the large gold coin that was her mother’s Pulitzer prize; a prize Madeline had earned at an absurdly young age for a now-legendary editorial on her struggles with bipolar disorder. Kenzie scrutinized it with a mixture of pride and longing; she was already 24, older than her mother had been when Madeline had been awarded the prize. She wondered if she’d ever win something so prestigious for her writing; couldn’t stave away her doubt that she wouldn’t. Who cares, make art anyway, because it’s for survival, it’s for your own heart and soul, the memory of her mother’s advices past pushing between her ears. Momby, who was in the kitchen, banging pots and pans with pointed slamming and slapping; Momby, who was mad at her.

Kenzie slipped her hand into her pocket, her little fingers closing around the familiar smooth rectangle of her iPhone in its gold case, thumbing the moon sticker; thinking of you, Duncan, her memory flashing back to his lips under her ear (leaving an invisible gold tattoo) before she slipped away from him into the car outside Le Diplomate, the moment now frozen in time by a stranger’s camera, her heart ramming into her ribcage, her body immersed in liquid fire. I have to make Momby understand.

She entered the kitchen where to the right she saw Madeline at the sink, past the fridge, staring at the water falling from the faucet into the stainless steel pasta pot she held steady under it. Her lips were pursed together, her expression neutral, far away. She glanced over her shoulder at Kenzie, who stood in the doorway in her knee-socks, making her hands into fists and then relaxing them, hesitant. Glanced, looked back at the pasta pot, glanced back again, silent, on the edge of her anger, but unable to find words for it.

“Momby,” Kenzie started.

“Mackenzie, how could you be so fucking naive?”

The words stung her like a slap in the face.

“Men like that--” Madeline began, and Kenzie walked past her, tears already stinging at the corners of her eyes (oh god, Kenz, not already), trying to hide her face from her mother, trying to find footing in her slowly disintegrating composure. She cried so easily with her mother; maybe it’s because she usually felt so safe to. But not right now. Right now she wanted to hide in a hole until Madeline decided she forgave her daughter. Right now, Kenzie wanted to fast-forward to everything being okay, because it had to be. She couldn’t bear the idea of not being with him now. A sharp, imaginary spear of pain jabbed into her chest as Madeline finished her words. “Men like that will take everything away from you, they will try to control you and make you their slave and they will try to crush your spirit, Mackenzie.”

Kenzie jerked one of the squat wooden chairs from the round kitchen table in the corner and sat, setting her fingers against the edge of the table, gripping that edge for dear life, eye fixed on the brick wall behind it, refusing to look her mother in the eye. Kenzie, do not cry, do not fucking cry, don’t do it, you stupid crybaby bitch, don’t fucking cry--

But it was too late and she could feel the tears coming, pushing themselves out of her lower eyelids like a tide coming in to shore; she was powerless to stop them, just as the shore was powerless to stop that tide, that ocean wave. She felt the first of them course down her cheeks, and her lip trembled.

“Momby,” she whispered. “I love him.”

She looked over at her mother then, more tears falling down her cheeks now; Madeline stood with her back to the sink now, the faucet still running, her arms crossed, her expression full of fury. She saw her daughter’s tears, and her face crumpled a little; enough that Kenzie could see her falter internally, double-back on her anger, try to go forward with it again, and become stuck in an in-between of emotions.

“Mackenzie. My dearest. You don’t know him yet.”

“Momby, I will get to know him. Please listen to me.”

“Annette Shepherd has tried to ruin my career, destroy my credibility and my livelihood, she has tried to smear my personal life, tried to discredit my work, Annette Shepherd is an evil bitch--”

“Momby, this is not about you!”

Kenzie shocked herself with the shrillness of her scream; her voice rising until it seemed to shake her entire body as it came out, rocking her back from the edge of the table into the seat, and she turned her body to her mother, her own anger now finally having risen, the tears still stinging their way down her face. Her mother’s face went white with shock, and she fell into a stunned silence. For a few minutes, the only sound was the water running over the edge of the now-full pasta pot, and the tick of the little classic black Kitty-Kat clock against the wall leading to the dining room.

“Momby,” Kenzie said again, and her voice cracked a little--she hated to fight with her mother so much. She hated it, it punched a hole through her heart, it fractured her spirit and filled her with abject sadness. “Momby. Please. Let me make my own mistakes. You have to let me. You made mistakes too. Don’t I get to make any? Can’t I--” Her face collapsed, unable to stave off the sob building in her lungs any longer, and she gasped as it burst out of her. “Can’t I figure out myself if this is a mistake or not?”

Her mother’s face softened, her arms unfolded, and she turned, shutting off the faucet, moving to where Kenzie sat with her body now shuddering as she cried.

“Kenzie Lou,” her mother said, and she reached out to grasp Kenzie’s hand. Kenzie immediately felt enveloped in the warmth of her mother’s now-wrinkly touch. She gasped out a little sigh of tear-clogged air, forced herself to speak between her hitching breaths.

“Duncan isn’t his mother, Momby. Please, believe me. Why can’t you trust me?”

“Oh, sweet pea.” Her mother pressed her other hand over Kenzie’s, so both grasped her fingers. “I do trust you. But sometimes you feel blinded by something--by someone. Sometimes you can’t see what’s going on because you’re looking at one tree in a forest.”

“Momby, that’s not what this is.”

“How do you know?”

“I feel it. In my heart. In my spirit. He loves me and I love him and we want to be together and I love you so much, but I’m going to be with him whether or not you like it, Momby, and I’m an adult and you need to let me do this.”

Madeline let go of her, standing again, moving back to the sink, dumping the overflow water out of the pot, bringing it over to the stove, lighting it, grabbing the salt off the rack beside the stovetop, her expression exasperated again. Kenzie wiped at her teary face with the sleeves of Duncan’s cardigan, sniffling, feeling pitiable and tired.

“I’m not stupid, Momby, and I need you to trust me. I need that from you.”

Madeline shook salt into the water, still not saying anything, still pressing her lips together, her eyes unreadable behind her squarish black glasses, shoving the container back onto the rack; grabbed the glass bottle of olive oil beside the rack, shaking it hastily into the water next. She was thinking. She was listening; at least, I think she is, Kenzie hoped. I think she’s listening to me now.

“I know in my heart that this is what I want.”

“And what if he betrays you, my sweet Kenzie?” She could hear the edge in her mother’s voice; the edge of tears. Her own tears sprang back into her eyes, threatening at the corners. Oh Momby, she thought, don’t cry.

“You experienced pain, you were betrayed, and you came out the other side, you survived,” Kenzie replied, and her hand slipped down into her pocket again, clutched her phone in her wet fingers. Duncan, please, be true to me. Please, promise me I’m not doing this in vain. “If that’s what my path is, I have to see it through. Momby, you know, I was with Tyler for three years. I never once felt this way about him. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Like my eyes are finally open. Like I finally understand.”

“Like you understand what?”

Kenzie stared evenly at her mother, who was now facing her again, hands resting against the back of her hips. She saw the moisture behind her mother’s glasses, could see the searching expression in her mother’s eyes behind the shield; knew that Madeline was as prone to tears around her daughter as her daughter was to her. And Kenzie knew that her mother was listening. Kenzie stood up, padding over to her mother on soft, earnest feet; she reached her arms around Madeline’s stiff body, burying her face in the crook of Madeline’s neck, pressing into her. She felt her mother soften in her embrace; felt Madeline’s own arms come around her little frame, hand coming up to stroke her hair.

“What it means to love someone,” Kenzie said into her mother’s skin, and her tears came back again, falling along the shoulder of Madeline’s indigo sweater, like little pearls of rainwater.

They stood that way for a little while; Kenzie could hear the soft hiss of the gas stovetop under the spaghetti sauce (simmering for hours now, filling the house with its rich, spicy smell) and the pasta pot, the soft ticking of the cat clock’s tail, back and forth, and the rustling of the trees outside in a drifting wind. A car passed by on the street, its rumble indistinct. And she could hear her mother breathing softly against her; feel the weight of her mother’s warm hand in her hair. And she knew: eventually, this would be okay. She knew with a startling certainty that sometime, someday, her mother would accept Duncan, and it filled her with emotion again, silent, still, and overwhelming.

-----

Madeline had driven Kenzie back to the train station after dinner; over her mother’s wonderfully spicy garlic meatballs and long handmade pasta, her mother had insisted on meeting Duncan this week; if it were up to Madeline, Kenzie thought, she would drive to his penthouse now, an accusatory finger in his face as soon as he opened the door, provided she could get up there without a doorman hurriedly chasing after her. She couldn’t erase the worried tone of voice her mother used for the rest of the meal; couldn’t erase the apprehensive gaze hovering on her mother’s face. This will take some time, she told herself, trying to reassure her frayed nerves. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was any lasting relationship. She wondered at her appetite, expecting it to have dissolved entirely over the stress between them, but she found she was starving; I guess I only ate half my lunch, she reminded herself, and no breakfast, didn’t have time for Duncan to make me eggs and toast again, and she felt wistful, wanting to go back to that first morning they spent together, the memory crystallizing in her psyche now; set to last forever. There will be so many days for us to have breakfast together, she told herself. God, I could die of happiness, I can’t believe it still.

She glanced at her mother, who was quietly staring out at the road, not speaking, lost in her own thoughts. Kenzie pulled out her phone and sent Duncan a quick text; she was disappointed to see he hadn’t yet replied to the last one that had included the link to the gossip website. Mom isn’t happy, but I think I made her understand, at least a little. At least for now. She wants to meet you soon; I thought maybe on Friday? She put the phone back in her pocket, determined not to stare at it in hope for a reply. He’s at dinner with Annette, she told herself. He’ll reply when he can. Her mother pulled into the station’s parking lot, the waxing half-moon scattering its light down on the platform.

“Kenzie Lou, promise me you will keep your wits sharp.” Her mother had grasped her hand before she got out of the Jeep, tightly, insistently. “Promise me you will keep your head. Words are just that; words. It’s action alone that proves affection. And I don’t mean just the bedroom kind.”

“I promise, Momby,” Kenzie said, squeezing her mother’s hand, unable to suppress the smile that spread over her face at that last part. “I promise I will.”

My heart is already lost in him, Momby, she thought. And in his bed. But my wits are always my own.

Kenzie waved a little as the beat-up Jeep Cherokee drove away, and her mother laid a light tap-tap on the horn (the way she always did) as the headlights turned to the street and the car accelerated behind Kenzie, drifting away into the waxing moonlight. She turned toward the station platform, seeing the glowing lights of the approaching train, still a quarter of a mile down the track; she held the strap of her satchel in one hand against her leg, and the other hand she used to pull her phone out of the big pocket of Duncan’s cardigan again. She’d noticed her mother looking at her clothing several times over dinner, and though Madeline hadn’t said anything; Kenzie could tell her mother knew the cardigan was too big for her; that Madeline knew it was his. But fuck it, she thought. I told her. It was awful. But now she knows. She pressed the home button of the iPhone, heart in her mouth, hoping Duncan had replied by now; but to her dismay there were no new text messages on her phone. She lowered her arm, thumb absently stroking the phone screen, her heart sinking. She realized in a wave how tired she felt; not a physical tiredness as much as an emotional ache. Her soul felt tired with all that had happened; her heart wasn’t used to being tossed back and forth this way, and now her body ached; ached with the hug she’d shared with her mother, ached with the come-down of adrenaline, and most of all, ached because of Duncan--the ardent touch of his hands and mouth and cock, but also the ardent immediacy of his desire and his soul, and they way they had touched her, touched her in the deepest part of her being. She felt lost in the depth of feeling that had surrounded her for the past few days; the thought of sleeping in her bed alone tonight made her want to burst into tears again, as if nothing at all had happened, as if she was now supposed to go back to things as usual, supposed to sleep somehow, supposed to bring herself down from the highest peak of heaven, back to earth, unbothered.

As the train pulled up, rustling Kenzie’s hair into her eyes and against her cheeks, she felt the swell of an incomprehensible emotion fall into her, one that felt like a door opening, or a book falling open, or the rush of air that comes before a storm. She felt lost in the feeling for a moment; a feeling that had no definition, no name, and no intention of explaining itself to her. She slipped her earbuds on, and, too exhausted to choose, hit the shuffle button in her iTunes library; as she eased into one of the long, flat seats along the side of the train, she heard the sweet voice of Billie Holiday slip into the buzzing space of her mind, calming her, sweet and understanding, full of that emotion she had felt, unable to name. My days have grown so lonely, for you I cry, for you dear, only...why haven’t you seen it, I’m all for you, body and soul...Kenzie closed her eyes, letting Billie’s voice wash over her, the train pulling her along, back to her empty little apartment, through the waxing moonlight.

What lies before me, a future that’s stormy, or winter that’s gray and cold...unless there’s magic, the end will be tragic, and echo a tale that’s been told, so often...my life revolves about you, what earthly good am I without you?...I tell you, I mean it, I’m all for you...body and soul...

-------

Kenzie made it to the door of her little studio apartment, its familiar gold moon swinging back and forth as she pushed it open with her elbow, and uncaringly dropped her satchel on the floor; it teetered and fell over, spilling her Macbook to the side, a pen, a tube of chapstick, a packet of tampons and the little bottle of Tylenol she always carried scattering out. Who fucking cares, Kenzie thought, and she walked over to her bed, sat on the edge, kicked off her shoes, pressed her fingers into her eyes, and felt the involuntary shake of a sob escape between her lips. The silence settled around her, enveloping, like a thick blanket; she suddenly felt unable to breathe, felt more tears coursing in an unstoppable stream from her eyes, pressing her fingers in harder, relishing the cold feeling of her fingertips against the hot tears. She wondered with a sudden, horrible, shaking fear if Duncan was going to leave her, if his mother had managed to somehow sway him to drop her, dump her unceremoniously; wondered if Annette had convinced him somehow that she wasn’t worth anything after all, that his reputation was more important than dating some two-bit mediocre journalist, that he, the wildly beautiful and wildly rich and wildly perfect Duncan Shepherd, didn’t need her, didn’t love her, and didn’t want to see her again.

Oh no, she thought, as she felt the despair of her wildly derailing thoughts pressing into her throat and her lungs and her ribs. Oh no, oh no. And Kenzie couldn’t stop herself; she started to cry, cry so hard she thought she might break into a hundred pieces, cry so hard, tears falling like tiny crystals through her fingers, that she thought she might never stop. She imagined that her long, fraught argument with her mother tonight had all been for nothing; that that pain and the ache of her mother’s disapproval had been for naught, and the feeling that had washed over her that everything would be okay in the end was a fraudulent one; that the feeling had been a lie. She thought of his passionate kisses and his beautiful hands and wondered if they, too, had been a lie; if somehow she was as stupid and as naive as her mother had worried she was...and as Kenzie cried, she heard the trumpet of her phone ring out in her pocket.

She pulled it out, eyes wet and blurry with her tears, her mind aching. Duncan.

Baby, I’m so sorry it took so long to text you back. It took a long time to get my Mom to a place where she wasn’t being irrational. Thank you for sending me that link; everything’s okay, my Mom has seen it already, we’ll make it through this, I promise. She wants to meet you on Friday as well; can we see your Mom on a different day? I can make time on Wednesday or Thursday, I just don’t know if it’s a good idea to have dinner with both of them at the same time yet. I feel like we’re going to have to ease them both into this, and I want everything to work out okay. I want them to accept this (accept us, accept you, accept me) because it means more to me than anything else. You do.

I miss you terribly right now.

Kenzie’s breath hitched; the sob there stopped abruptly as the wave of aching relief washed over her. It means more to me than anything else. You do. I miss you terribly right now.

For a few heartbeats, she read the text again; one more time after that. Then, she typed.

Baby, can you come to my apartment? Please come.

For a moment her breath shuddered through her body from the comedown of her tears; and she stared at her phone, her mind blank of everything but her hope.

Duncan: Coming to you, baby.

Her heart slammed into her ribs the instant she read it, against the edge of the bottom of her throat. Whoever is listening, she thought. Thank you. Oh god, goddess, Fate, thank you.

------

It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes later when Kenzie heard the buzzer for the front door ring; it resonated in its shrill little voice through her apartment. She had been in the bathroom, trying to dry the worst of the tears and dab the worst of the redness from her cheeks and her nose; she turned, achingly, resigned to her tear-stained face, and practically ran to the button by her front door that unlocked the buzzer; she waited there, not moving at all, as if frozen, listening; she heard the front door snap open with a jerk, heard the sound of his pointed gait, the click of his boots in the hall, and then the insistent knock on her door, once, twice, three times.

“Baby,” she heard his low voice murmur, and she yanked it open, feeling her face crumple again, to her deep dismay; she couldn’t stop the feeling of relief that washed over her in more tears as she looked up into his face, flushed with what seemed to be the aftermath of him running up the sidewalk from the car, into her building; a curl of his caramel-chocolate-dark hair had fallen over his brow and his eyes were clouded with concern as they gazed at her tear-stained face, his expression one of desperate longing.

“Duncan--” she murmured, but that was all she had a chance to say; he had enveloped her in his arms with an entirety that stole all the breath from her body, pushing her back with aching gentleness, kicking her door shut behind him with one of his black boots, his mouth reaching down hungrily to hers in a burning kiss, the fingers of his left hand falling down to cradle her waist, the fingers of his right coming up to her neck, under the base of her skull, holding her face to him with aching softness that made her body vibrate with an immediate burst of feeling that sent waves of heat into the sensitive folds of her sex.

:”Oh, baby,” he whispered into her. “Oh, Kenzie, don’t cry, please don’t cry…” His voice made her tears threaten to flow again, though, despite his words; they were full of ardency, achingly gentle, and blasted with the tenderness of his own sadness and longing. He was afraid too, she realized, lost in his mouth and the warmth and pressure of his hands. He was scared, too.

“I thought maybe your mother--” she started to speak against him but he shushed her, with that aching tenderness, that insistent need to soothe her. “No, baby, no,” he said. “Nobody will ever come between us. Not her. Not anyone. I swear.” His hand came up from behind her head, his thumb trailing over the incline of her jaw, over her lips, over the tenderness of her sore cheek. “We’re together now. Me and you. Only me and you.”

She nodded, unable to speak, her hands clutching at the thick smoothness of his leather jacket, leaning her face into his hand, full of such relief and warmth and sweetness suddenly that she felt faint with it; faint with the immediacy of him, where before her apartment had been cold and empty and void of him, faint with his realness, faint in the weight of his embrace. But then her head cleared; her sense sharpened, as if someone had turned a light on inside her; had turned up the volume of her spirit, had pressed a shot of adrenaline into her heart, and she pulled his face down to her, demanding, hungry; he came to her eagerly, a little moan escaping into her from his mouth, and she felt his aching need press against her belly; she pulled him over to her bed with its blanket covered in constellations, and she pushed him down insistently, needy and unselfconscious in this moment; she wanted him to know that he was hers now, she felt it acutely; there was a sort of possessive rawness growing behind her thoughts; she didn’t want to share Duncan with anyone anymore tonight, she wanted him to be hers now, and hers alone.

Duncan had leaned up a little on one elbow to look at her, gazing up at her from where he lay on her coverlet with hunger shining out of his gray-blue eyes; hunger, and that same look of wonder, of reverence, that had so thrilled and frightened her before. That hair still fell over his forehead; his beauty filled her with a demanding ache that she wanted sated, and she was going to make him give her what she wanted, and she felt, without any doubt, that he would give her whatever she wanted, with devotion.

“Baby, I want your tongue inside me.” Kenzie stared into Duncan (her boyfriend, her lover)’s eyes as she said it. She moved her hands down beneath the hem of her dress as his eyes followed, pulling the waistband of her black panties down; her nerves thrilled at the soft groan that came out of him towards her as she stepped out of them.

“Yes, baby, please,” he whispered, trying to reach for her.

“Not yet. Lay back.”

He looked at her, a thrill of gold light flickering through his gaze. Then he lay back as she had instructed, his eyes never leaving her face. She could see the rise of his erection under his tailored slacks; she could see his neediness, and it thrilled her.

She pulled the turtleneck dress over her head, throwing it onto the floor, her hair cascading around her bare shoulders now; she unhooked the clasp of her cream-colored bralette, letting it fall to the ground as well, her eyes never leaving his. His expression was divine; entranced. He was so beautiful; she wondered if she’d ever be able to look at him without feeling as though her body was simmering under a fire; his beauty pierced into her, causing her bare skin to burst into goosebumps as she stood there in soft light and shadow falling from the bathroom doorway, naked but for the thigh-high socks she’d been wearing all day; she pushed them from her knees, keeping her eyes locked on his.

“I want you to fuck me with your mouth, baby.”

“Yes, Kenzie. Please.”

She smiled at that; please. She liked that.

“Ask me again.”

“Please, Kenzie. Please let me fuck you with my mouth.” His expression was achingly sincere; he was truly begging her, and she loved it so much. She laughed a little, delighted. God, I love this, she thought. Him asking for it like this. This fucking Prince, begging to eat me.

She climbed on top of him; his hands came around her, but she pushed them gently down and he followed her lead, lowering them, gazing at her in desirous wonder. She moved up carefully, slipping over him so her knees came to rest on the coverlet on either side of his head, the softness of her ass sitting on his chest, right over his breastbone. He let a soft moan fall from his lips again; “Oh, baby--”

“Shhhh,” she insisted. He quieted. She slipped her hands around his wrists, bringing his hands up so they rested against her lower back, just at the incline of her ass. Then she lifted her hips, feeling the lips of her labia stretch, wet with her arousal, gazing down at him, expectantly.

“What do you want, Duncan?” she whispered, smiling, hovering there.

“I want you to sit on my face, baby,” he replied, eyes gazing into hers; she saw the wild, rough abandon buried in them; an abandon that was for her, and her alone.

At that she pressed down onto his mouth (that beautiful mouth, holding the most beautiful smile she’d ever seen captive), feeling the edge of his teeth graze against her clit, the warmth and wetness of his tongue press into her, slide up into the sweetness between her folds; she felt his hands move down to cradle her ass, clutching at her tightly as he buried himself between her legs, and it made her body shudder with a violent knowledge; he was going to make her come and he was going to make her come hard. He moved his head so she fell up and down onto him, each insistent lick of his tongue into her core rocking her body back in a haze of sunbursts behind her eyelids, fireworks, rolling thunder breaking into shocks of lightning.

“Ahhh, Duncan, baby, fu-uuuuuuuck---” and her words bled into a groan of wordless, overcome sensation; he was working himself into her so utterly that she felt like she was a spool of thread unraveling into warm water; the heat building down at her sex where his mouth sucked at her with insistence was causing her mind to hum with warning, hum with the threat of an onslaught of sensation she wasn’t sure she could prepare herself for. The press of his large hands clutching at her ass, the weight of his tongue pressed into that overwhelmingly sensitive bundle of nerves, moving down again to probe into her swollen pussy, licking up again, hard and soft, rough and then achingly gentle, and she shuddered; she felt her release coming from behind a corner, rushing up. His eyes came up to stare into her again, as if he could feel her climax approaching, she looked down into their blue depth, and that was what sent her over the edge, tumbling into the abyss of them: she screamed and her body rocked back with an involuntary spasm that stretched into a prolonged convulsion, clutching his skull, pulling his hair back, pressing her core down into his mouth with so much force she worried for a moment that she’d suffocate him; and he moaned under her, sucking the wetness that dripped out of her down his throat, eagerly, keeping his mouth there as her orgasm eked out of her in waves; she gasped as he continued to lick at her overly-sensitive, now-swollen clit, as if he was loathe to leave it.

Kenzie collapsed down into the crook of Duncan’s shoulder; she continued to moan, her orgasm still hovering around the corners of her eyes, her body dissolving into a post-coital daze; tears pricked at her eyelids again, and she felt them course down her cheeks; will my tears ever end tonight? she thought, overwhelmed in her release. Her body continued to shudder under his gentle hands as he moved them, softly, up and down her skin; caressing her breasts, her waist, the bumps of her ribs, the incline of her hip bone, the soft skin of her upper arm, the indentation of her throat, and all over again, starting at the beginning.They gazed at each other, blinking slowly, not speaking; Duncan’s mouth was wet with her release, and she pulled him down to her; he kissed her deeply, the taste of her mingling between them again (like that first night), and clutching her hand in his larger one, tracing his fingers through hers, slowly.

“Okay,” she whispered. “Fuck me now.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, hesitant, delicate. She nodded; said “yes”; she sat up, pulling him with her, pushing his leather jacket off his shoulders (he yanked it off, lips connecting with hers again) and she pulled his soft long-sleeved black shirt over his head; he unbuttoned his pants and pushed them and and briefs off together in a fluid motion, kicking his shoes off, pulling his cashmere socks off his feet; he turned to her, grabbing harshly onto her legs at the back of her thighs, yanking her down the bed to press against him, his naked cock shuddering between his legs against her skin, and stood at the edge of her bed, holding her legs together and her knees up so the back of her thighs were resting against his the front of his, her feet brushing against his shoulder. He lifted her a little; and then he buried his length in her sensitive cunt, groaning, and held her legs up as he pounded into her, his knees bumping into the edge of her mattress with every thrust, burying his entire length deep into her again and again; she gazed up at him, her mouth open, unable to look away; Kenzie felt like an invisible thread had extended between them, tying them into each other indistinguishably, souls threaded through one another.

Duncan gasped, pausing for a moment, gripping her tightly, staring into her, his chest heaving, still buried inside her; “fuck me from behind, baby,” Kenzie said, and he smiled (baby that smile that smile, eat me up) and pulled out of her, soothing her body down, and using his strong hands he flipped her over; she moved so she came up on her knees, hands pressed into her coverlet so she was on all fours; she moved her ass up just a little, so it was higher, against head of his cock, expectant.

He grasped her around the neck (“oh god baby,” she gasped) and right under the space beneath her left breast, and he buried himself inside her cunt, his mouth finding the small space under her ear. “Fuck baby, this feels so fucking good,” he moaned into her. “Fuck, you’re so lovely, baby, fuck, I love you--” and she gasped against the weight of his hand which he tightened a little, tightened and made little stars come out under her eyes, “Fuck baby, I love you too,” she cried, “fuck, keep your hand on my neck that way, fuck that feels so good--” and he steadied his grip so his fingers splayed out and covered the front of her throat, possessively.

Duncan’s cock was wildly hard; Kenzie could feel the way it was stretching the lips of her labia, stretching her to the edge, burying itself so deeply into her she felt him bumping against her cervix with little dazzles of vague pain--he thrust into her again and again, hand steady on her neck, the other reaching down to her clit again; he pulled her up so she was pressed flush against him, her little body prostrate to him, his fingers working between her legs, lips still on her neck, hand still at her throat, and as he shuddered into her, coming deep inside her (“Kenzie, angel, I’m fucking coming--” and a longer “Fuu-uu-ck, fuck me, fuck” into the skin of her neck) she felt a second wave wash over her; an orgasm of smaller power than her first, like short tides bursting over a rocky shore one after the other, and she whimpered into his hand around her windpipe, shaking.

This time they both collapsed back onto the bed, hands coming around each other with need, holding each other between trying to catch their breath; “are you okay, baby?” Duncan whispered against her forehead, where a sweet film of sweat gathered along the hair at her temples; she could see sweat glistening on his forehead, too, and along the incline of his jaw.

“I feel so fucking good, baby,” she replied, hazy, quieting. “Do you feel good?”

“God, so fucking good,” he laughed, his lips falling on her shoulder blades, his hands trailing along her arms. Then his expression shifted, became serious.

“Kenzie, I’m so sorry I made you worry. I’m so sorry for not texting you sooner; today was terrible, neverending, but that’s not an excuse. I promise I will never ignore your messages or disregard them. It kills me that you thought the worst; that you were sad because of my lack of perception.”

“Duncan, it’s okay. I was just...blowing it out of proportion...today was just, so long--”

“Baby, no.” Duncan shook his head, hands falling down the wave of her hair, twisting his fingers through it. “No, I’m sorry. I should have texted you before I went to dinner and I didn’t. It won’t happen again. I promise.”

Kenzie nodded against his hand, closing her eyes, sighing. How are you real, she thought towards him again; how are you mine.

“I need to text Samuel to tell him to come back in the morning--” Duncan sat up a little, his eyes questioning, asking her. Kenzie felt a thrill course through her--he’s going to stay here with me tonight.

“Okay,” she said, smiling at him, hand trailing down his arm. “Yes. Please sleep with me here tonight.” And he nodded, leaning down to kiss her, and she felt like she was dissolving into the waning moon that hung in the window, dissolving into him, and both of them melting into the stars on her bed.

#millory #millory au #duncan shepherd au #duncan shepherd #cody fern #billie lourd #collie #cody x billie #duncan x mackenzie #duckenzie #duncan shepherd x mallory #duncan shepherd x mackenzie stone #house of cards au #ahs apocalypse #michael x mallory

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musicandmusing · 6 years ago

Text

Metanoia - Chapter 3

Description: Namjoon lives a double life, if you will. He teaches high school Literature and enjoys it. But in the safety of his apartment, he has his hobby, creating music under the pseudonym RM. His meddlesome friends push him where he stubbornly refuses to believe he can go and clings to the safety net he has created. But how strong can a safety net be when it’s full of holes?

Genre: Fluff and Angst

Pairing: none, (Namjoon and his self-esteem?)

Word Count: 5.8k

Warnings: Swearing and drinking.

He was on the bus on the way home when he got a message from Tae. Which wasn’t totally unexpected or unusual except that it was a link to Twitter which didn’t happen often since he normally would just retweet whatever he found funny. What he saw when he opened the link only caused Namjoon further confusion as it took him to Jimin’s official Twitter and an apparently very popular video. After Namjoon sent a bunch of question marks to Tae and was told to ‘watch it, you idiot’ he pressed play and nearly threw his phone across the bus.

A/N: I know it’s been a while since I posted the last chapter... I was struggling to make progress on the current chapter I’m on and wanted to get a little further until I posted this. (I like to have a few chapters in between posting and what I’m working on.) I really wouldn’t be as far along as I am without the support of @minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong. Go check out her stuff, she’s awesome. ENJOY!

- Cinder

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

The video showed Jimin, styled in his dance clothes by Tae, with his choreographer doing a routine to one of his SoundCloud posts. They looked intense, dancing hard to the thumping bass line he had carefully crafted, punched movements and popping to the clipped beat. After about 45 seconds they fell out of sync, having reached the end of their quick choreography, and Jimin threw the camera a big smile and a hand V next to his eyes. The video cut off and Namjoon stared blankly at his phone in horror.

The attached comment was short, saying simply ‘fooling around’ with some hashtags and included a tag to Namjoon’s music Twitter account as well. There was no escaping the attention. He didn’t even want to know why this was happening or what people said as he hastily shoved his phone in his pocket. Out of sight, out of mind right? Except that he couldn’t think about anything else as he blankly followed his monotonous routine off the bus, past the laundromat and convenience store. He passed the fast food restaurant without even registering the smell of fried food floating outside and entered the apartment building. Mindlessly climbing up the stairs, Namjoon only slightly came out of his stupor to find his keys and walked into the empty apartment. He stood in the entryway for some time, at least a few minutes, looking out the window straight ahead, feeling blank and a jumble of too many emotions at the same time. Only when Yeontan whined and pawed at his pant leg did Namjoon truly snap out of it.

Namjoon slipped off his shoes and coat jacket before he crouched down to reach Yeontan, taking comfort in his fingers running through his fluffy coat and warm licks to his hand. After giving Yeontan some treats and a few more pats, he took off his blazer and tie. Before he dealt with whatever fallout came from Jimin’s Twitter post, he decided he would get comfortable and try to ease some of his nerves. As he changed from his dark gray slacks and white button-down into black sweats and a white tee he tried to think about why this was so… upsetting. It's not like he didn't already have his music out publicly. He had a SoundCloud that anyone could listen to at anytime. But it now being associated with an up-and-coming idol was a bit more publicity than he bargained for when he'd decided to put his music online.

He stalled for time, not ready to tackle social media yet, going to the kitchen to make a cup of tea and eat a snack as well as assessing the state of the refrigerator. Noticing the fridge was looking pretty pitiful, mostly filled with condiments and vegetables in varying states of edible, Namjoon made a shopping list so he could go grocery shopping tomorrow after work. Once he was done making a significant list of food they would need he felt more relaxed, the routine helping his nerves. He carefully carried his cooling cup of tea to the living room where he'd left his phone. He attempted to get comfortable on the couch but failed as his shoulders felt like they sat by his ears in anticipation. He settled for leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, phone in both hands, tea left on the table in front of him and opened his Twitter account for his music alias, Rap Monster. It had a small following of people who would comment on his new SoundCloud posts and wait for updates on new uploads. What he saw was probably four times as many notifications as he normally had on any regular day. Maybe more than that. There were tweets of surprise from his regular followers but without a doubt all the notifications centered around the video post on Jimin’s Twitter.

Unable to handle reading more than a few tweets, most of which had good things to say at least, he moved on to SoundCloud. There he saw the same phenomenon as Twitter. The views had quadrupled on the track Jimin had used and the followers overall had nearly doubled.

He took a snapshot of each of these ridiculous amounts of notifications and sent them to Tae.

KimNamjoon: this isn't going to convince me of anything

Moments later a message came in from an unknown contact which confused Namjoon horribly. He panicked briefly that his number had somehow been leaked and he'd have to change his phone number. He calmed down somewhat when he saw who sent the message.

Unknown: hey it's Jimin

KimNamjoon: Jimin why do you have my phone number…

Ji-mini: oh Tae gave it to me last time I came over

KimNamjoon: do I want to know why

Ji-mini: probably not. Now go acknowledge my awesome support of your music

KimNamjoon: why did you even use my music?

Ji-mini: we were taking a break from practice and I was playing it on the speakers

Ji-mini: Hoseok started popping and one thing led to another and we just had some fun making something up

Ji-mini: now go be professional and acknowledge your new fans

KimNamjoon: i don't really have a choice since you posted that video before asking and tagging me in it

Ji-mini: oh! I didn't post it. Tae did. He took the video for me but I was going to ask first before posting

Oh was Tae in trouble when he got home. Immediately Namjoon tried to think of ways to torture his imp of a roommate. He let him know his fate once he'd settled on two of the many possibilities.

KimNamjoon: expect to drink black coffee and to witness the destruction of your favorite tie when you get home.

KimNamjoon: You

KimNamjoon: Are

KimNamjoon: Dead

As expected, Tae didn't respond but if Namjoon was honest with himself, he wouldn't carry out the threats anyway. Taehyung was his closest friend, along with Jin, and he'd been supportive of him and his hobby since Namjoon had first told him about it. Tae always loved listening to his tracks, finished or not, and sometimes provided vocals if Namjoon needed it. It was just hard to stay mad at him for long. Usually, anyway. This wasn't just any reason to be upset though. It felt like Namjoon's secret had been exposed, even if nobody knew it was Namjoon. Tae knew how private he was about his music.

Reluctantly, Namjoon opened Twitter again and looked at some of the responses which, as he'd seen before, were mostly positive. Some made him outright cover his face in embarrassment - people would really write anything online. However, reading all the positive comments didn't ease the tightness in his chest as he contemplated the pros and cons of replying individually over a mass response. In the end he opted for the mass response, the thought of somehow individually replying to 100 or more tweets too overwhelming.

@R.M.Music: Thanks for the shoutout @JiminOfficial and all the positive feedback everyone! You can find me on SoundCloud for more!

Twitter taken care of, Namjoon went to SoundCloud and started reading all the comments there as well. The amount of comments was probably near double compared to Twitter as new listeners had commented on more than one song in many cases. This was going to take a while and he was clearly going to need frequent breaks, his mental fortitude lacking at the moment.

He received a message while slogging through the plethora of new comments on his songs, he'd only managed to get through three songs so far. He felt some relief seeing the familiar name pop up, easing a little of the tension holding him tight like a coil.

Jinnie: I noticed you ignored replying to @doNOTeatJin on twitter. He’s taken great offense to this egregious error

He needed the light humor that Jin always brought to a conversation. A little more tension unwound itself from his muscles, feeling the relief acutely as he began to sag into the couch cushions. He grabbed his cup of tea and even though it was a little more cool than he preferred, it helped him unwind a little more as he replied to his friend.

KimNamjoon: send my deepest apologies. My people talked to R.M.’s people and his unofficial statement is he is overwhelmed

Jinnie: In all seriousness what’s the story?

KimNamjoon: the short and short of it is I will plot our former friend’s death, not carry it out, and contemplate calling out sick tomorrow.

Jinnie: Namjoon…

Namjoon huffed as he stared at the wall across from him, tapping the side of his phone and sipping his tea, and briefly tried to determine how to best explain what happened. Jin wouldn’t need much explanation on Tae’s behavior. It wasn’t out of his wheelhouse to be meddlesome when he wanted. Jin didn’t know Jimin, they hadn’t had a chance to meet yet. The few times Jimin had been over, Jin had been busy on a late shift at the children’s clinic where he swayed all ages of hearts as a nurse.

KimNamjoon: Jimin said he played it for his choreographer while they were taking a break, just having fun. Tae recorded it for him and decided to post it on his own.

Jinnie: so it was all Tae’s idea?

KimNamjoon: sort of. I figured they were going to plot something together but Jimin said he was going to check first before posting

KimNamjoon: so it seems like he went rogue on this

Jinnie: I’d say plotting his death is a bit dramatic. Why’s this bothering you so much? Your music is already on the web anyway, what’s a few more people listening to it?

Namjoon realized Jin had a logical point and put his phone in his lap, clutching it loosely as his tea sat on the table, forgotten. What really made this so problematic? He did put his music out so others could enjoy it. Perhaps it was the disruption of his equilibrium? He hadn’t started this wave of interest, he’d lost control of whatever control he had on his music. If he even had control over it in the first place. It all felt very threatening somehow to the careful balance he maintained between his work life and his hobby. He responded to Jin with all of this and, for once, he was the one needing a ‘therapy’ session. Tae not invited.

Taehyung had been getting a relatively cool shoulder from Namjoon for the last few days since the day he'd posted the choreography video of Jimin and Hoseok. His sympathy for his friend’s mental state was basically non-existent however so he’d been carrying on as usual. The threats Namjoon had claimed he would enforce when Tae arrived home were never followed through of course. But just to be safe, Tae packed his favorite tie in his fake leather backpack he used for work. Just in case. He’d been pushing Namjoon to get his music out there, maybe perform at a talent scouting event or send in a demo with an agency. Yes, he was probably older than most being scouted but he was undoubtedly talented and wasn’t that the important part? Well, no matter, he’d taken Namjoon’s future into his own hands, so to speak, by posting that video. He had no regrets even if it meant his roommate not saying more than a couple dozen words to him each day.

Tae mulled over all of this as he put together a makeshift changing station for Jimin at their location next to the company SUV they’d arrived in. Getting sick of thinking about his stubborn-as-a-rock roommate, he moved to thinking about this test photo shoot he’d been planning with the new intern. They’d talked about the direction the styling was moving towards and if it could be incorporated in the shoot to which the intern had no qualms, suggesting a few settings to play to the styling. Tae had been impressed at the preparations the intern had taken to take into account the styling and find a complimentary location, multiple ones even.

They’d settled, predictably due to Tae’s focus, on a punk-inspired street style in an old industrial area mostly used for skate events and by graffiti artists. Tae finished the makeshift changing area and pulled his navy blue bandana from his backpack and tied it carefully so as to not catch any hair in the knot. From the trunk he pulled an oversized suitcase of all the clothes for the shoot, a portable rack, a bag of shoes, and a small satchel for makeup. He left the makeup bag in the open trunk of the SUV where he'd do Jimin's makeup like he had many times before on location. Assembly of the folding rack took very little time, having assembled it many times, so he took out a portable, battery-operated hand steamer from the giant suitcase now wide open on the ground. He set the steamer next to his makeup bag for now until he had all the clothes hanging and had assessed just how wrinkled they may have become during travel. Each piece had its own hanger for individual attention and as he began to hang them up he heard heavy footfalls approaching behind him on the gravel strewn concrete. As he finished placing the final piece onto a hanger, a black leather jacket he found at the secondhand store, he heard the person who’d approached clear their throat.

“Are you Mr. Kim?” The person was clearly a he, with a soft but not timid voice. Tae turned and saw who must have been the photography intern in a plain gray loose button down, ripped dark blue jeans, and beat up black converse. He held a thick black hoodie in the crook of his left elbow and a giant black backpack peeked over his shoulders. Jungkook showed a soft smile that crinkled his eyes slightly as he extended his hand to Tae.

“Yes, just call me Taehyung though. You must be Jeon Jungkook?” Tae took Jungkook’s hand and they both bowed slightly as they shook hands. Tae shuffled his all black high top sneakers slightly as he straightened back up. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting but this guy was somebody he might’ve expected in front of the camera rather than behind it. Although judging by his fidgeting fingers tugging at the cuffs of his sleeves ever so slightly and nervous edge to his closed mouth smile, perhaps he was more comfortable out of the spotlight. The only thing Tae hoped for was that his nerves weren’t going to affect the test shoot because Tae could really use the results to push his vision forward for approval.

“Please call me Jungkook, hyung. If you don’t mind, I’ve already picked the locations for the shoot. I’d like to start on those stairs over there.” Jungkook pointed to some gray metal stairs on the outside of the building leading to a second floor door with rust coloring it spotted and dyeing the wall it’s signature hue. The sunny weather cast a pale shadow over the side of the building where the stairs were located. The dull lighting in combination with the sand-colored exterior and gray stairs set a neutral background made to highlight a high contrast outfit.

Tae nodded, mind immediately focused as he turned and looked at the clothes hung on the rack. He pulled a white tee with a wide neckline accented with black stitching and some faded blue, heavily ripped jeans in the thighs and knees. The shoes he debated over for only a moment before choosing some burgundy Doc Martens over a pair of beat up Converse. Finally, he moved the carefully crafted leather jacket to sit next to the selected outfit, admiring the patchwork and paint he’d used to cover the discolored and worn areas. Tae stood back to look at the pieces hanging next to each other, shoes sitting below the outfit, and gave it a quick nod of approval. He pushed the sleeves of his red, white, and blue rugby style shirt up his forearms and out of the way of his fingers as he crouched down in front of the suitcase and closed it to open the front pocket. Pulling small bag after small bag of jewelry out, Tae tossed them into the trunk of the car until the front pocket was empty. Each bag had been carefully labeled with the type of jewelry inside that he’d been collecting since before he’d graduated and started work with Jimin.

As Tae dumped out his collection of rings, already knowing which three he wanted to pair with the outfit, he heard a slight shuffle behind him and nearly jumped back when he saw Jungkook standing just behind him. Jungkook didn’t say anything as he scooted from behind Tae’s shoulder to stand next to him, clearly taking in all the jewelry strewn across the trunk. Tae looked back at the near two dozen rings sitting on the trunk bed and the small bags filled to near bursting with earrings, necklaces, and bracelets.

“Is that all yours?” Jungkook asked, sounding genuinely curious which surprised Tae a little. Normally any guy he’d met thought it was a bit weird that he was so interested in fashion and jewelry. That and the fact that he was a stylist and makeup artist for a guy as his job.

“Well, technically, yes because I purchased all of it but I only use these for styling Jimin.” A stud caught Tae’s eye and the urge to put it in was very strong. It wouldn’t be the first time either. So he added to his statement for the sake of honesty since Jungkook didn’t seem put off by any of it. “90% of the time.”

Jungkook didn’t even bat an eye at his addition. He just nodded and turned to look at Tae in the eye, another question clearly forming in the way he raised his eyebrow ever so slightly. “I thought the,” He paused and waved his hand at the car and wandering assistant that had come with them, “company would buy all that stuff.”

“When you’ve got a big enough name they will. We aren’t there yet. Jimin’s debut mini album did well for a debut album but we aren’t anywhere recognizable enough yet. So I get a modest budget.” Tae swept a hand to gesture Jungkook’s attention to the rack of clothes. “I get a lot from secondhand and thrift stores. It allows me to buy more and experiment with the clothes and the look.”

Jungkook stepped toward the rack and cautiously touched the clothes Tae had just put to the front of the rack and looked back at Tae in question.

“Both the jeans and shirt are basic pieces I got at my favorite thrift store. I cut open the neckline and added the contrast stitching. The jeans were already faded but I took care of the rips. It’s all trial and error to get those right.” The pride that filled his chest was near overwhelming as he saw Jungkook look impressed and pull the jeans out to take a better look at Tae’s handiwork. Jungkook let go of the jeans to leave them swinging slightly on their hanger as his hand went to the leather jacket.

“What about this?” Tae watched as he fingered the edge of the sleeve, pulling it forward and back to look at the details Tae had slaved over but leaving it on the rack.

“A secondhand store find. It was discolored but in fairly good condition. I’d say it was my splurge piece.” He joined Jungkook in front of the rack and pulled the leather jacket out to give it the attention it deserved, showing off the front and back to display all the details. “I spent hours deciding how I wanted to place the patches, pins, and paint it. What is the intention in the piece? Is it supposed to look designed or like it’s been loved within an inch of its life? When does the person wear it? Do they decorate it themselves? I imagine a character for every piece I create so I can tell a story each time.”

Tae ran a hand over the front of the jacket as he held it against his torso. It was probably his favorite new piece he’d created. Maybe his favorite piece ever. He still remembered the moment he’d shown it to Jimin while he was at dance practice. Jimin had snatched it from his hands and put it on to admire himself in it in the room full of mirrors. He’d proceeded to try out some choreography in it, taking on a tough act, and Tae had felt so much pride seeing how much Jimin felt the story of the jacket.

He snapped out of his reverie and put the jacket back on the rack, feeling a bit embarrassed for his passionate monologue. He shrugged to try and keep an air of nonchalance, turning back to dig through the jewelry again. “I make do with what I have.”

“You’re not really a stylist then. You make it sound like you’re an artist.” Tae whipped his head around to see Jungkook not looking at him but still eyeing up all the clothes on the rack with a hint of a smile. Tae was sure he probably looked a little crazed with surprise and tried to school his features into a more neutral look, shutting his mouth that had fallen open at the words and blinking rapidly. Before Tae could respond with anything remotely coherent, Jimin popped out from between the makeshift dressing room and rack of clothes with a bright grin and in the middle of a sentence.

“Hey Tae you ready for, Oh!” Jimin startled back a step and Jungkook snorted a laugh, covering his face like he was trying to hold it in. After a moment Jimin started giggling and held his hand out towards Jungkook who reciprocated the gesture.

“Jungkook, as you can guess this scaredy cat is Jimin.” Jimin scoffed at Tae’s teasing while Jungkook held his breath in a smile, looking more than a little like a small animal that had stuffed his cheeks full of food. “Jimin, this is Jungkook.”

“Couldn’t you have least given me a better introduction, you overgrown mushroom!” At this Tae watched as Jungkook’s attempt to stay professional dissolved into a fit of hysterical laughter. He stood doubled over at the waist, hands bracing himself up on his exposed knees, until he nearly tipped forward from the apparent weight of his backpack. Taehyung couldn’t keep himself from joining Jungkook and giggled while Jimin pouted and crossed his arms.

“What kind of insult is that?” Jungkook questioned when he’d regained his ability to speak, a chuckle still escaping every so often. Tae decided in that moment that he’d request for any future photoshoots to be with Jungkook. Well he’d make sure the results from this one were good first but he knew they would be, he’d seen his portfolio.

“An appropriate one! Look at his hair! Every time he puts on a bandana he turns into a mushroom.” Jimin gestured wildly at Tae in a valiant attempt to convince Jungkook. Jungkook looked at Tae like he was seriously considering Jimin’s words, pointer finger touching his chin and furrowing his brow.

“Hashtag mushroom boy.” Jungkook’s grin spread wide across his face at his own humor and Tae joined him while Jimin’s face fell in defeat. Tae was liking Jungkook more and more as he loosened up around them. Jungkook turned to Jimin and Tae snorted when he turned his mocking appraising look on his friend. “Besides are you one to talk with hair the color of an orange?”

“He thought it would look good!” Jimin’s voice raised in pitch and volume at this point and pulled the black beanie he was wearing completely over the freshly dyed hair that had been peeking out. The result only caused Tae and Jungkook to giggle all over again because now he looked ridiculous with the beanie covering the whole of his forehead and the tops of his ears. “God dammit Tae we should’ve done the silver, you ass!”

“It looks good Jimin calm down.” Tae tried to reassure him but it was slightly marred by another escaped giggle so he continued with the praise he knew the singer couldn’t resist. “I would only dye your hair a color that would make you look good. It looks really cool.”

Jimin glared at Tae, clearly trying to determine if he was lying or not. When he didn’t say anything more but let out a huff, Tae took it as a victory and snatched the beanie from Jimin’s head to fully reveal the new color. He admired his handiwork, the color a surprise from the softness of Jimin’s features and previous blonde. It was still unstyled, covering Jimin’s forehead and a bit ruffled from the rough handling of the beanie but it still managed to look intentional. With the black jeans, Converse, black and white striped shirt and khaki green jacket, Jimin could probably have started the photoshoot at that moment and Tae would’ve been pleased. Tae would style it with a defined part but the roughness would stay, giving that ‘just rolled out of bed and don’t give a fuck’ look. Tae smiled at Jimin with a wide grin and nodded his head in approval.

“Now,” Tae clapped his hands together and turned back to Jungkook, professional mode back on, “do you need to set anything up before we start? It’ll be 45 minutes to an hour before I have him ready.” He looked at him expectantly, wondering how the flow of the shoot would progress.

“Not really. If it’s alright with you both can I take some test shots here while you get ready?” Jungkook shrugged his oversized backpack off his shoulders and gently placed it in front of him. He looked at Tae and Jimin, but it seemed he already had guessed their answer.

“Sure. Why not?” Jimin responded and gave Jungkook one of his bright smiles. “Hope you don’t mind listening to music while you work by the way.” The innocent words had an ominous ring as he grabbed the outfit at the end of the rack that Tae had left for him and disappeared into the dressing room.

Jungkook quirked a brow with a slight smirk in Tae’s direction. Tae had pulled out his small speaker from the same pocket he’d kept all the jewelry and proceeded to plug it in to his phone. He set it up in the trunk of the car, off to the side so it wouldn’t interfere with the mess he’d already created. With a smirk of his own thrown at Jungkook, Tae started some music and the first slightly distorted sounds brought smiles to both their faces.

“TAE CHANGE THAT DAMN SONG. I AM NOT LISTENING TO CRAZY FROG AGAIN. YOU’VE PLAYED IT EVERY TIME I’VE SEEN YOU FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS.” Jimin hollered from the changing room like he would somehow not be heard over the small speaker. The two boys waiting outside burst into laughter and ignored his words. Jungkook took to sitting on the back fender of the car while Tae finished picking the desired rings, a chain bracelet, and a choker with two silver picks hanging from it.

When Jimin came out from the changing room, Jungkook moved to where Tae had been standing and sat with them while Tae continued to work. Tae took time to analyze the outfit, tucking the shirt various ways until he was satisfied and adding a plain black leather belt to complete the look. Jungkook pulled a camera out of his bag and Tae could hear the occasional swish of the shutter as he studied the jewelry, making sure it wasn't too much. Next was makeup and Jimin settled into the cleared area for him in the back of the car while Tae began the second half of his job. The three of them joked about the music playing and chatted about the shoot or whatever else they strayed towards. At one point the ended up discussing the merits of fast food past midnight and was it breakfast or dinner.

The photo shoot itself couldn't have gone smoother. Jungkook melded well into the partnership and friendship Tae and Jimin shared and gave easy direction. He willingly listened to suggestions from both Tae and Jimin, the whole photoshoot becoming a collaboration between the three boys. Mostly though Jungkook didn’t give too much direction, saying he was focusing on capturing Jimin’s natural movements in the environment. Tae called for two outfit changes during the shoot, one being black ripped jeans with a sleeveless black and white vertical striped button down with black converse and the other an all black outfit of the same black jeans, a black tee, black belt, and black Doc Martens. He’d made sure Jimin was comfortable with both before moving forward, wanting the clothes to suit the idol as Tae played with the styling, changing his hair and makeup a little each time. After they shot in two additional locations, against a chain link fence and a concrete half wall playing with height and framing and inside one of the buildings with multi panel windows using the shadows and dusty interior to create an ethereal feel, the three boys called it a wrap.

Jungkook followed Tae and Jimin back to the changing area and chatted with them a little more while Tae packed his bags and Jimin changed back into his casual clothes. Tae asked to look at a few of the shots before Jungkook left and they ended up all crowded around the small screen of Jungkook’s camera exclaiming how great the photos looked so far.

They were interrupted by the assistant coming over and telling them they had to leave because Jimin had dance rehearsal in a couple of hours. Tae sighed and held out his hand towards Jungkook, asking for his phone. Jungkook complied and Tae quickly added himself to Jungkook’s contacts and then texted himself. Before Jungkook could reach to take his phone back from Tae, Jimin snatched it from Tae’s hands and added his contact information as well. Tae noted Jungkook seemed a bit embarrassed but smiled nonetheless when Jimin passed his phone back and thanked them for the opportunity to work with them.

Jimin waved Jungkook off and told him that the photoshoot wouldn’t have gone nearly as smoothly if he hadn’t been a part of it. Tae hooked his arm around Jungkook’s neck and stood next to him beaming, telling him that he was a pleasure to work with and he hoped to do so again soon. He watched Jungkook turn a slight shade of pink in embarrassment and Tae couldn’t help but let out a bark of laughter. He slapped Jungkook’s chest with his available hand and then released him from his grasp. Jimin offered him a ride in the company car to the nearest train station but Jungkook shook his head, saying that it wasn’t a far walk. They waved their farewells as Jungkook turned and left and then Jimin and Tae turned to each other simultaneously with matching grins. They break into their happy dances, still hyped up on the success of such a fun and productive photo shoot until the assistant comes back around the car to clear her throat as a reminder of the time they were wasting.

Tae started to dismantle the makeshift changing room while Jimin put the bags into the trunk when Jimin’s phone started to ring. Tae didn’t bother to turn around as he folded the pieces of fabric used for privacy, only half listening as Jimin answered the phone and dropped the suitcase heavily into the trunk. When he turned to put the fabric into the trunk, Jimin was pale and standing ramrod straight, his eyes wide as he looked at Tae. He started bouncing on the balls of his feet and the next words out of his mouth had Tae copying his movements.

“You would like him to submit a sample of his music?” Tae gripped the curtain in his hands hard, crumpling the carefully folded fabric into a ball. He waited while Jimin listened to whoever was on the other end. “No. He writes, performs, and produces it all himself.”

Jimin’s smile had his eyes crinkling into near perfect crescent moons as he continued to listen and Tae couldn’t help but mirror his excitement. Jimin schooled his face into a professional look again as he replied once more. “Yes, I’ll let him know.” He said his goodbyes and only when he had carefully pocketed his phone in his jacket pocket did he look back up at Tae. Tae watched Jimin, not sure if his ears were tricking him but feeling nervously optimistic. He threw the crumpled curtains into the trunk without a care anymore so he could shove his hands into the pockets of his black jeans and waited for Jimin to say something. After waiting 30 seconds too long in his opinion, Tae finally asked his smiling friend.

“Is it about Namjoon?” He rushed out, barely intelligible words in his rush to know if his ears had really heard correctly. Jimin nodded emphatically, his excitement nearly uncontrollable as he started bouncing on the balls of his feet again.

“They want to hear a demo. They might consider offering a contract if they like it.” At this Jimin is full out bouncing, his feet just barely leaving the ground as he grabbed Tae’s forearms and held on, pulling Tae into his energy level. Tae whooped in excitement for his best friend and they began their happy dances again. When the assistant came back to stare at them with her arms crossed they ceased their happy dances but nothing could wipe the smiles from their faces as they rushed to finish packing, too excited for the potential of the future.

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boo1a4 · 7 years ago

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11 question tag!

Hey guys so I was tagged by 5 of my fav gals to do the 11 questions tag (THATS 55 QUESTIONS WHY ARE YALL LIKE THIS) but anyway I was tagged by @s-lay-ing @sambashua @achuu-nice @indiepoptime and @yongpal-i (this tag is fucking eternal help me)

Cloud’s Questions!

Do you know a ksong by heart? (bc I don’t :x I can hum a trillion tho)

Blackpink’s As If Its Your Last, Heize’s Star, Day6 I loved you and You Were Beautiful, most of seventeens title tracks and most of their ballads, lastly Pristin’s Aloha! I'm sure my pronunciation is way off but those are tho the ones that I've taken the time to actually sit down and learn!

When it comes to friendships, are you low or high maintenance? (As in your friends gotta talk everyday with you or you’ll feel like the friendship is dying OR if you can spend days without talking to them yet you still remain close)

Ummmm I think it depends on the friendship? also I think I can tend to be a bit of both (cause I'm an insecure ass binch), tho I don't ever feel like my friendships are dying lmao

Do you have a secret that you will take to the grave? (Ofc I’m not asking you to reveal it)

not that I can think of?? like I'm sitting here thinking if there is anything and like honestly no????

Recommend me 5 songs (not necessarily kpop songs)

Dracula Teeth - The Last Shadow Puppets(honestly cloud just listen to all of their music is so great) Daydream In Blue - I Monster (this is honestly one of my all time fav songs I love it too much) No Way Down - The Shins (you know I can't go 2 mins without mentioning them, some great lyrics right here tho also give September a listen in beautiful) Beechwood Park - The Zombies (I'm assuming you know the zombies cloud but on the off chance that you don't BINCH THEY ARE MY ACTUAL FAVORITE well beside cream and zeppelin but they are up there) Kimbra - Miracle (kinda of a random one but this song just never seems to leave me!) Big Bird -Hyukoh (oh that was 6 BUT THIS SONG IS SO GREAT also listen to wing wing!!)

What do you prefer?: first, second or third gen kpop songs?

I generally prefer second generation??? I think????? I like a bit of all of them tho. but like there is no definitive answer to when each of the generations start and end so like I don't even know??? but most of my fav groups as far as music goes are older around 2nd gen but a fair amount of them are gen 3, I have a really strong love for kpop that was released between 2009-2014.

What’s the cheeeeeeeeeesiest thing you’ve done? (one time a former friend of mine was telling me about a problem she had and at the end of our convo I kissed her in the forehead bYE)

girl idk just my whole fucking life tbh, but my family members and irl friends will all tell you I do this thing where I yell sing songs and change the lyrics to their names this includes badly sung kpop songs IM SCREAMING THO CLOUD WHO ARE YOU AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

If you were asked to participate in a variety show, which one of the following would you pick and why? (Pick two!): problematic men, master key, hello counselor, weekly idol, one fine day, law of the jungle

um probs ofd?? id say weekly idol also but damn the hosts would literally be like who is this weird binch!

Your top 10 kpop songs of 2017?

In no order but 1. Would U - Red Velvet 2. Let’s Hang Out - SF9 3. Night Rather Than Day - EXID 4. Aloha - Pristin 5. Missing You - BTOB 6. I Loved You - Day6 7. Teenager - Got7 8. Habit - Seventeen 9. As If It’s Your Last - Blackpink 10. You, Clouds, Rain - Heize

Would you rather live in a huge mansion or a compact studio house?

Im a real messy binch so definitely compact studio

Tell me a fun childhood story (I’ll start! One time an aunt gave me money to buy ‘papas’ (potatoes) at the grocery store so bc I’m obedient af I went and asked the counter lady how many of em could I buy with the money I had so she went ‘uhh, not many tbh’ so i ended up getting like two and when I returned to my aunt’s house she laughed her ass off and said: I meant ‘papas fritas’ (potato chips) Not those! - and uh yeah this is funnier in Spanish but it proves that I’m such an innocent angel I mean wow)

ok so I spent a lot of time at my aunt Lori’s house when I was a kid (like summers, and after school) and my cousin was the BUG queen so she hand made leashes for her pet toads (that she caught) and we walked them around on leashes for like a week but I was always so afraid of them and also hurting them so I WAS NOT ABOUT THAT ahahaha dumb story but it makes me laugh alsoalsoalsdo they had this bench swing in their back yard and my cousin my sister and I would swing on it together for hours at a time and one time we were swinging real hard (REAL HARD) and the links?? or whatever that held it to the ceiling it was hanging from snapped and the three of us of us flew off of it and we all collectively blacked out??? it was so weird but I woke up to my cousin stuggling to get me off of her and then there lays my sister underneath the bench just blacked out chilling (she was fine) then my aunt came running out cause she had just heard the loudest crash ahsdfasdf not long after my uncle put stronger links on it and that bench is still there! From time to time when the three of us get together this story gets brought up its still the most hilarious thing ( ALSO CLOUD YOU ARE SO PURE I LOVE)

If you were offered to start a band, would you accept?

yeah I love music so much why not! not sure I would be able to contribute much lmao

Mir’s Questions!

If you could travel anywhere, but were completely by yourself, where would you go?

hmmmmm do you mean like I wouldn't be visiting anyone and just traveling alone?? or like going someplace where I know no one?? ok cause for the first I would book it straight to az TO SEE YOU MIR!! AND SISTER!! but for the second I would love to go to Japan (my cousin lives there tho so that also doesn't technically count lmao)

What inspires you?

Music, books, and tv shows! Also really well written characters or just interesting people I guess! but on like a ??spiritual?? level my mom?? she's just that binch you know ( like seriously Ive never met anyone kinder or more driven and hard working in my life she's wild)

How many pets would you have in your ideal future? Any specific names or types in mind?

47 KITS, no realistically I want 2 kittos and they will be named Bellamy and Murphy cause I got too also lowkey want to name a cat rami or Elliot or also kaz or Inej damn all the good names wow. Also the name Calloway is my fav name of all time and I WANT SOMETHING WITH THIS NAME

What are you opinions on fedoras

um eww?? what other opinions are there?? what is this question mir I'm???? but like ngl when worn in a none cringe manner then can look nice!

how many spoons can you balance on your face at once (picture or video proof preferred (i’m trying to get someone to do it pls anyone))

girl I've done my time (lowkey did you put this on her cause I told you about my gravy spoon today???)

What is your favorite type of tree?

I like Birch trees!

If you could convince one person to like kpop who would you convert?

damn MY MOM cause then she might listen to something other than bruno mars once in a while

What are three things you are normally associated with and/or what are three things you want to be associated with?

art, sleeping, reading and um idk?? tbh??? like maybe not being shitty and being funny??? idk??? like I don't know????

If you were in a kpop group what position would you hold (ie. leader, main vocal, moodmaker, etc) feel free to tag your mutuals and who they would be!

um hm im a moody binch bonch so probably moodmaker?? mir is main dancer cause yes duh ivy is leader cause she's the only sane one kennedy I feel would be a great rapper like she got that chic thing going she could do it I feel??? and cloud would be our talent tbh??? nom would be the maknae cause she's small I feel! Jeddy would be my happy virus bud cause she's a fun and funny gal ( I love) Jamie ALSO ONE OF OUR TALENTS wow yes I feel a main vocal here she’d go solo and be singing ballads left and right! JESS WOULD BE THE SWEET MOTHER MEMBER THAT EVERYONE LOVES AND IS JUST THE SOFTEST,,,A SUNSHINE GAL.

If you could have any wild animal as a tame pet what would it be?? (i’m ocelot loyal all the way)

damn idk I'm like horrible at taking care of things (including myself) so like honest id just stick to the kit kats

What is your opinion on mint chocolate chip ice cream? (for maj)

The best ice cream (tho I can't eat it anymore and its very cursed)

Nom’s Questions!

how are you? :D

I’m good Nom thanks for asking!

sad ballads or happy upbeat songs?

Im a ballad ho these days they are honestly all I listen to anymore, but I do love me an good upbeat song I'm just slightly more picky about them!

fave anime movie?

ok tie between Whisper of the Heart and Howl’s Movie Castle, I honestly need to see more that arent Ghibli!

dogs or cats?

Cats! (my dog is practically a cat tbh)

do you keep stuffed animals in your room?

I have one! its a portal companion cube! its not technically an animal BUT I LOVE IT ANYWAY ITS ALL IVE GOT!!!! also if you count tsum tsums I've got a few big hero 6 ones!

someone you miss?

My dad, its been especially hard lately.

describe your phone case?

its like rainbow watercolor! I have a pop socket that matches

favorite lore/myths?

Not technically myth or lore but Beowolf! I've seen the movie at least 40 times and I've read the epic! generally I find northern european mythology/literature to be more interesting than southern. but if we’re going for like ubran myths tbh not really my thing ahahaha.

eardbuds or headphones?

both for different things! but when I first listen to an album I like to listen with my headphones!

can I steal your heart?

you already have ~~~~~~~

favorite thing about your ult bias?

His sensitivity and kind heart! I love a sweet boy! Also I'm really here for Boo’s cheeks!

Jamie’s Questions!

If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life what would it be and why?

ohhh there are a few songs that I really really love, Heize’s Star is a song that I listen to daily and I feel like I could listen to it for the rest of my life! also September by The Shins! Miracle Aligner by The Last Shadow Puppets also. Idk man I just really love songs with a mystical quality to them.

If you were in a kpop group what would your group be called and what would your fandom name be?

BINCH AND OUR FANDOM NAME WOULD BE BONCHES

If you could acquire mastery over ONE skill instantly, what would you pick and why?

Singing!! its just about the only kind of musical talent I think I’d be any good at! Im a vocalist ho I just want to be like my favessssss

First reaction if you spotted your favorite celebrity on the street?

I would literally hide so fast omg

First reaction if your favorite celebrity followed you on your favorite social media site?

SCREAMING ALL THE LOVE FOR BOO SEUNGKWAN 24/7 and literally only doing art of him and nonstop posting it

Snap your fingers and you get to steal your favorite outfit off of a kpop idol. What outfit do you pick, off of whom, and why?

OK literally all of Soonyoungs airport looks cause damn that boy does not get enough credit for his fashion (he's the best dressed in the group fite me)

If you were to get a painless tattoo that you could remove with the press of a button, what would you get and where would you get it?

umm probably something really pretty? and colorful? I'm not sure what put I like arm tattoos!

What is your most prized possession?

probably my laptop?? also my collection of sketchbooks!

What’s a YouTube/online challenge that you have always wanted to try?

Im always interested to try those youtube art challenges, I've done the three marker challenge before and the draw this again challenge also!

You get a guarantee that your favorite celebrity will see your social media post but you only get 100 characters. What do you say to them?

I would literally just send my art to them! I feel like it says more than 100 characters can!

You wake up in your dream room. What does it look like?

LITERALLY A LIBRARY AND LIKE NICE AND DARK AND WARM BUT NOT TOO WARM LOTS OF BLANKETS

Kennedy’s Questions!

Make a 10-song playlist for your current mood.

it is here

What vine do you quote the most?

what is that?? who you fighting?

What do you value most in a friend?

I like people who are good listeners! but also people can keep a conversation going! But really tho just genuine kindness and openness.

If you could learn any kpop choreography instantly, what would you learn?

DAMN THIS IS HARD, so many great ones that I love a lot but probably Red Flavor?

If you go to your Tumblr activity page, who does it say is your “number one fan?”

damn Idk them so I'm not gonna like tag them or something lol

What is your ideal clothing style?

I like simple dark clothing that is comfortable.

What is your favorite Snapchat filter?

I really like the ugly ones tbh I don't use them enough

What subject would you like to study, but wouldn’t necessarily want to make a career out of? (for example: I really want to learn about botany!)

psychology, I really love learning about how people work.

Would you rather be constantly half an hour early to everything, or constantly 15 minutes late?

early of course, I hate being late

Would you rather have a single day to spend with your top bias or a week to spend with your number 2 bias?

damn neither??? ahahah no a day with boo would be very blessed!

If you could bring back any disbanded OR inactive group, who would you bring back?

F(X) BINCH I NEED MORE MUSIC

My Questions!

if you had to chose one kpop stage outfit to wear for the rest of your life which would you choose?

favorite music video aesthetic?

Group you are most excited for in 2018?

Recommend me some underrated kpop songs/groups?

If you could join any group other than your bias group who would you join and why?

Favorite soloist? and some song recs?

Childhood Story? (thanks Cloud)

Were you in any fandoms before you got into kpop, if so what were they?

Favorite Comeback/debut of 2017?

astrological sign? Myers Briggs type? Hogwarts House (I'm a Gemini, infp, and Gryffindor)

Random question but what are your favorite names?

Tagging : @s-lay-ing @sambashua @achuu-nice @indiepoptime @yongpal-i (y'all can do mine if you feel like it!) @forgetjunnot @babybyuny @kae-popx @kiheehyunie @jeonwoooo @trbldean130 @howcaniwait @joshhjs @maetaamong and if you’ve already done this you don't have to do it again ahahahaha I feel like everyone has done it already lol

ok thats it do it if you want!

#ok so this literally would not post help me #thanks again for the tag #BYE #tag

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nageki-yuki-blog · 7 years ago

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TsukiPara Drama - Chapter 10 Translation

[This chapter is about Six Gravity preparing for the joint live. Enjoy under the cut~]

10章 – Chapter 10

合同へ！～グラビ編～

Towards the joint live! ~Gravi Version~

1話 – Part 1

「ツキウタ。ラジオ」の時間です！

It’s time for “Tsukiuta Radio”!

Koi: Okay! We will begin again today! Delivered to you in a live broadcast, it’s time for “Tsukiuta Radio”, abbreviated “TsukiRadi”!

Kakeru: Your hosts will continue to be the same, December’s Kakeru Shiwasu and…...

Koi: February’s Koi Kisaragi, bringing it to you!

Koi: Today’s broadcast will feature the special tour for our game app “Tsukino Paradise” so…...

Koi: Wow! After a long wait, every member of Six Gravity is gathered, making this a special version episode!

Kakeru: Yay! Applause! Then I’ll hand it over to the representative, Hajime-san, for a greeting!

Hajime: Hello everyone. It’s been a while since I’ve been on TsukiRadi, hasn’t it? I am Gravi’s Hajime Mutsuki.

Hajime: I’ll be with you for only a short while today but, I believe all of our fan’s will have a good time. Please take care of me?

Kakeru: …...And there you have it! Everyone, are you ready? All of our listeners, say it together with us!

Koi: The “Tsukiuta. Radio”, abbreviated TsukiRadi, special episode is…...

Everyone: Starting now~!

Kakeru: Good work guys!

Haru: Yes, good work.

Aoi: It’s been a while since everyone has gathered together for TsukiRadi. Live broadcasts make me nervous but, it was fun.

Arata: It really surprised me when Kuroda barged in though. Isn’t he already beyond regular*? How did he get in the studio anyways?

[*I think he means that he’s no longer acting like a regular or normal rabbit]

Hajime: Now that you mention it, where did Kuroda go?

Haru: Tsukishiro-san got one step ahead of us and already took him back to the dorms. We could have left him in the waiting room but…...he’s a little big.

Koi: Yes he is.

Arata: Well then, we have solved the matter of Kuroda for the time being. Now that I’m relieved…… I’ve gotten hungry.

Kakeru: Me too me too! Let’s eat something and go home!

Koi: Oh! It has to be meat!! I’m in the mood for yakiniku*!

[*grilled meat dish]

Aoi: What? But I’m pretty sure they said there was a meeting right after this?

Kakeru: Oh, I guess you’re right. We still haven’t decided what to do for this Tsukipara Live Festival.

Koi: Oh…...Goodbye! My yakiniku!

Haru: Yakiniku would be difficult but…… How about we chow on some pizza while we’re talking together in the dorms?

Arata: I have no objections. Let’s do that. It’ll be a pizza party with everyone.

Hajime: And it’ll be a business meeting, okay? Well, we might get some good ideas from it.

Hajime: …...Well, now that we’re full, we should talk about the Tsukipara live…...

Haru: Has anyone come up with any good ideas?

Kakeru: I haven’t. I’ve thought a lot about it since we talked with Procella but…...I haven’t been able to think of anything.

Arata: Me too, I’ve been seriously thinking about it every day before going to sleep. Because of that…...

Aoi: Have you been unable to sleep?

Arata: Nope, I’ve been sleeping very soundly.

Koi: Don’t fall asleep!

Arata: That’s just how hard I’ve been thinking about it. But, I haven’t been able to think of anything good enough~

Everyone: Hmm…...

(To be Continued)

2話 – Part 2

珍しく恋が残念じゃないアイデアを出しました

Unusually, Koi has come up with an idea that’s not disappointing.

Hajime: …… It’s just like Tsukishiro-san and Kurotsuki-san told us before, that thinking too hard will have the opposite effect, right?

Haru: That’s right. Let’s just take it easy while we’re thinking. I think it would be best to do it in a way that allows us to be completely relaxed and enjoy ourselves.

Kakeru: Be completely relaxed…...

Aoi: …...Speaking of being completely relaxed…...

Aoi: We could do something like “TsukiRadi”. Well, I somehow got the idea just now.

Haru: Oh, that might be a good idea, “TsukiRadi”. We’ve been doing that program for a long time so our fans will know it…...

Haru: We’re also accustomed to it. Even during today’s editing, we were able to continue it, without getting too worked up, so we were naturally completely relaxed. Don’t you all feel the same?

Koi: Ahaha, it is certainly true that I was completely relaxed to the point that I could say there was too much freedom~!

Hajime: That seems like it would be good as a main focus. “TsukiRadi” on stage…… It sounds like it could be interesting?

Haru: But different from being on the radio, we will be right in front of the fans, so I want to be able to get them excited.

Arata: So we need to do it in a way that both the audience and us get roused up, huh…...

Aoi: If you think about what the appeal of “TsukiRadi” is, it would be that we could deliver our voices directly to them live.

Koi: Okay! Let’s do a lot of ad-lib! We won’t know what will occur! But, that’s what’s so fun about it! …...That’s what I think we should do.

Kakeru: For Koi and me, who are the regular hosts, we always feel some tension each time though. But it’s worth doing.

Haru: It’s important that we don’t forget that this time we’ll be “linking it to the game”.

Hajime: That’s right. This is originally a live for everyone who enjoys playing “Tsukipara” anyways.

Koi: Ding ding! I’ve thought of something! If that’s the case, why don’t we do a “game live broadcast”?

Koi: We could project the game onto a giant screen, and then we could play it there! Then it would be a live broadcast of the game…...

Kakeru: Oh! Unusually, Koi has come up with an idea that’s not disappointing!

Koi: Stop saying I’m disappointing!

Arata: A live broadcast huh. That could definitely be interesting~. I’ve watched videos of those once in a while when looking around online. Not too long ago, those types of videos were really popular too~.

Aoi: I know what those are just by hearing the name but, I’ve never actually seen one before. It sounds interesting…...

Hajime: I’m the same as Aoi.

Aoi: Later on, let’s ask Arata and Koi to show us some videos. Hajime-san.

Hajime: We should.

Haru: That sounds great. The audience can enjoy it together with us while watching the screen, and if we can convey to them the merits of the game, it would be best if they could see it in reality.

Haru: Hmm, so have we decided on doing a live broadcast?

Hajime: Yeah, I think it would be good?

Koi: Hurray! We’re using my idea!

Hajime: …… Now that we’ve decided that, we need to verify if it’s actually possible to implement it on stage.

Haru: I guess you’re right.

Kakeru: …...And if that’s the case?

(To be Continued)

3話 – Part 3

それじゃあ今から皆で練習しましょう

Well then let’s all start practicing from now on.

Hajime: First we need to have someone make and install equipment that will be able to use a screen.

Haru: After that, we also have the problem of figuring out what would be the best way to place it on stage.

Haru: If we just leisurely play the game it will be too simple, so we need to think of how to broadcast it in a way that excites the audience too.

Aoi: I guess you’re right…...

Hajime: …… And that also means, we need to be able to play the game to a certain degree.

Haru: That’s for sure. If we show an uncool play, it will give us a negative image in many ways.

Hajime: You got it right.

Arata: If that’s what you’re trying to say, then I might be in trouble~.

Arata: I play the game now and then but it’s not like I’ve gotten that high of a score.

Aoi: Arata is the type that wants to play at his own pace, rather than aim for a high score.

Haru: If you say that, I wonder if the person who suggested it, Hajime, will be okay?

Hajime: …...

Hajime: …… The truth is, I don’t have any more confidence than Arata.

Kakeru: Huuuuuh!? There are times when even Hajime-san doesn’t feel confident!?

Hajime: What kind of guy do you see me as?

Hajime: It’s just an excuse but, I’ve been so busy I haven’t played it much in the first place.

Kakeru: Oh-…...

Hajime: Since I don’t play them often, I’m still not really used to playing any types of games anyways.

Kakeru: I see……. I want to give you Koi’s useless video game skills and some free time…...

Koi: I heard you say useless!

Haru: Hahaha…… Hajime has only just begun playing app games after hearing the explanation of what they were.

Hajime: However, if you can show skill in the live, it won’t show that kind of dependency.*

[*I’m not sure about exactly what this means, I think it means that their skills would show that they don’t need to depend on anyone else]

Arata: Oka-y. Well then let’s all start practicing from now on. Let’s do this. Hajime-san and I will do nothing but extensive training.

Kakeru: That’s right~. If we all give each other advice, I think we will improve fast!

Aoi: I don’t have a score that’s good enough to be proud of either so, let’s work hard……!

Koi: Heh heh heh…...

Koi: Hehehe, hehahahaha! It’s here----!!! This is my time to shine!

Koi: Gravi’s number one gamer Koi-kun, will become everyone’s proper and reliable teacher!

Arata: Pink head is getting carried away as expected.

Aoi: Hehehe, actually, he’s being pretty reliable.

Koi: Now then, everyone. First let’s get an accurate grasp of the situation! Show me your scores.

(To be Continued)

4話 – Part 4

君もきっと一人前の音ゲーマーになれるぞ！！

I’m sure you could also become a public music gamer!!

Kakeru: Okay!

Hajime: …… To display the score. Where do I press?

Haru: …… Hajime, you really aren’t used to operating games are you.

Hajime: …… Haru.

Haru: Okay okay. Here, let me see. The score display is…… umm, here. It’s right here.

Koi: Let’s see what we have here…… Everyone’s skills are…… Oh! Kakeru and Aoi’s scores are pretty good!

Aoi: Huh, is that so? I’m a little relieved.

Kakeru: Hehehe-. I guess since it includes our songs, it was easy to get used to. I got better really smoothly!

Koi: With this amount, I wouldn’t have any worries about Kakeru and Aoi during the main performance. Now for Haru-san…...

Haru: I’ve tried really hard but, I don’t think it’s as good.

Koi: Ah~, but, it’s not that bad.

Koi: I’ll show you the tricks of how to play, so if you remember it and practice then I’m sure you’ll get better!

Haru: Please teach me. I don’t want to show the fans an embarrassing side of me. I want to raise my level before the day of the performance.

Koi: To continue on, Arata’s score is………… Huh? It surprisingly isn’t that bad.

Arata: …… Really? I don’t really know what the normal score would be.

Koi: It’s not bad. What-, I thought it would be way worse. I think it may be even better than the average score?

Arata: Oh…… Is that right. Good job, me. I feel like I can do it now.

Koi: With this score, I’m sure you could also become a public music gamer* after I attentively guide you!!

[*meaning someone that can play music games in front of an audience]

Arata: I don’t need such weird and disgusting guidance.

Koi: Last is…… Hajime-san! Can I see your scores?

Hajime: Yeah, is this good?

Koi: Yeah. …...Huh? Hajime-san, you haven’t played anything except easy mode?

Hajime: I can have enough fun just playing easy mode.

Hajime: …… Or rather, to be honest, this is the first time I’ve heard that there are other modes.

Koi: I have to explain from there!? Geez, how many times have I had to say that line!

Koi: O-Okay. Nevertheless, I think you can still raise your score a little bit more. With your reflexes it’s possible.

Koi: Hey Hajime-san, it doesn’t matter if it’s the easiest song for you, but could I watch you play once?

Hajime: Yeah…… Then, I’ll do this one.

Haru: Huh? Hajime, the way you’re holding it…...

Kakeru: Ha-Hajime-san!? It’s not like you have to play it with one hand you know!?

Hajime: ? Is that true?

Aoi: N-Now I see…...

Arata: All of a sudden, we have solved the riddle of why Hajime-san’s score is so low.

Koi: Umm…… Hajime-san. I’m going to play it now so, can you watch me?

Hajime: Okay.

Koi: Well then…… Koi Kisaragi, is here!

(To be Continued)

5話 – Part 5

ゲームの腕前もしっかり磨いておけよ？

Make sure you also steadily refine your game skills, okay?

Aoi: Wow! That’s amazing! Such smooth movements!

Haru: He’s getting them all perfect.

Kakeru: He’s really skillful for just playing it casually…… Even if it’s because he’s sacrificing sleep and his tests……!!

Arata: I know what you mean. He’s the type that as he raises his game level, his real life level lowers.

Koi: Just wait a minute~!? That just plain hurts!?

Haru: Score S! As expected…!

Koi: Heh, I just unconsciously played seriously.

Koi: …… Well, I was trying to look cool but, that’s pretty much how it is. It’s okay to use both hands.

Koi: You can hold it in whichever way is easiest for you.

Hajime: I see. That was great, Koi. Well done.

Koi: E-Ehehehehe~

Hajime: Now I feel like I understand by watching how you played it. …...I think I’ll get a little better after this.

Aoi: Huh? You are going to try it again already?

Hajime: I think I can do it a little. For the time being, I’ll just try it.

Hajime: …… Heh.

Kakeru: W-Woah!? Hajime-san, you suddenly got really good!?

Aoi: The awkwardness you’ve had until now, has completely disappeared…… It’s like a different person is playing.

Haru: Ahaha, that’s just Hajime, as expected.

Hajime: It’s certainly true that, now that I’ve gotten the hang of it, it has become much easier to play.

Hajime: I’m still not at the level where I can play in front of other people but, if I practice, I should be able to raise my score.

Arata: Hajime-san has gone into serious mode. Alright, with this, I have a premonition that out of all of Gravi’s members, I have dropped to the bottom of the list!

Koi: So he’s being serious…… By watching me play it just one time, he improved this quickly…...

Kakeru: As expected of the king……!

Aoi: So you got a score rank of…… A. Oh! Just a little more and you’ll reach Koi’s score!

Koi: Ugh…… My precious student, has suddenly improved and become my rival!

Koi: I also have pride as a gamer! Even if it’s against Hajime-san, my game score won’t lose!

Kakeru: Oh…… Koi has gotten fired up!

Haru: Ahaha. But trying to do this, is pretty fun. We should be able to get fired up during the real live too don’t you think?

Hajime: You’re right. With a little more practice, all of our skills will be equally matched.

Aoi: We’ll also be trying a little bit to level up, right Kakeru.

Kakeru: That’s right, Aoi-san. Let’s devote ourselves to it. Otherwise, we’ll be surpassed by Hajime-san in the blink of an eye.

Hajime: After that…… well. I guess we should do something like a score showdown with Gravi and Procella?

Koi: Oh, that would be good! The fans would also be able to participate by cheering!

Arata: The fans will be cheering, huh. Then, we seriously must do that. I want everyone to see me at my best.

Hajime: Alright, I guess we should propose this idea to Procella.

Hajime: You guys, in preparation for the joint live you should refine your singing and dancing. And after that, make sure you also steadily refine your game skills, okay?

Everyone: Okay!

~END~

[Next chapter is Procellarum’s version~]

#Tsukipara #Tsukipro #Tsukiuta #My translation

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mx08z7kz6gqrs · 4 years ago

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刚好遇见你 - Notes & Thoughts

For my translation of this song, see this post. Listen to the original version of the song, which has English lyrics embedded, here. Below are some extensive translation notes and thoughts about the lyrics of this song.

So this song was very popular among Chinese netizens a few years back, but I didn’t really think too much of it when I first heard it. It grew on me after a few times, and this is the song that led me into becoming a fan of Li Yugang.

The original version of this song is fantastic- Li Yugang was trained in Beijing Opera, which is what lends his voice that gorgeous and surreal quality in the chorus. This song was one that he sang to celebrate his 10th anniversary since his mainstream career really started.

Also recommend this live version that Li Yugang sang with a fan of his on a variety show in China- his whole segment was quite moving, but this was just a lovely rendition.

Also, I did not realize when I started on this that there was already a very, very good translation of this song embedded in the original MV! They’re super small so they’re easy to miss, but if you watch the MV in the YouTube link above on full screen, you can see them! They flow a bit better than mine, honestly, but I wanted to keep my translation around anyway and include some notes for anyone interested in reading further.

---

The format for these translation notes will be a reference to the hanzi of the original line followed by the most literal English translation I can think of. Then I’ll discuss the details I noticed in the lines, including things I may have dropped from my translation.

As much as possible, I try to prioritize literal translation over grammatical accuracy, but in lines where this is impossible due to the difference between English/Chinese, I’ll combine the lines that are part of the same sentence/thought and translate the full line as literally as possible.

---

我们哭了 // We cried 我们笑着 // We smile/laugh 我们抬头望天空 // We lift our heads and look towards the skies 星星还亮着几颗 // There’s still a few stars shining

This first section is pretty simple- I went with a pretty literal translation of the first two lines, but one thing to note even here is that there is a tense difference between the lines about crying (哭), which carries a “了” to indicate that the action has already been done (past tense), and smiling/laughing (笑), which carries a “着” to imply the action is currently happening within the scope of the sentence.

The full song makes more sense to move into the past tense since overall, the narrative seems to be speaking of experiences that had happened in the past. I moved both phrases here into the past perfect, but in doing that, I know I lost some of the differentiation between the lines.

The second half of the line would probably more accurately translate to “As we lifted our heads to gaze into the sky, a few stars were still shining.” The tense here is in the same ambivalent “present” that the previous line about laughing was.

The second half of the line gives the impression that most of the stars have vanished, which could have many different implications. Perhaps the speaker is thinking of dawn, where many of the stars are no longer visible, and so they are watching the last few in the sky. Or in the current future they are in, they can’t see the stars anymore.

To emphasize this idea that there are “still just a few” stars remaining, I chose to embellish the line with “the last few stars.” The first half was altered to maintain the somewhat poetic repetition- each of these 3 sentences in the original song have exactly the same structure (”We [did] [action]”)

我们唱着 // We sing 时间的歌 // Time’s song 才懂得相互拥抱到底是为了什么 // And only then do we understand exactly why [people would] embrace each other

The first part follows the same format of the lines above (we laughed, etc), so again I’ve removed the tense uncertainty and brought the line into past perfect. The more interesting part of this line is the last sentence. We can break this line down into parts:

The conjunction used to connect it to the previous line “才” functions like a reverse “because.” A bit like, “only because of [preceding clause], can the [following clause] be.” Thus, with the verb “懂得” (to understand), it would be “only because of [preceding clause] do [we] understand...”

The main subject, “相互拥抱”, would most literally translate to “hugging/embracing/holding each other.” It gives off the impression of being both very romantic and somewhat desperate.

And finally, the last part “到底是为了什么” would translate literally to something like “exactly what the reasons are.” The phrase “到底” literally means “down to the bottom” and alone is often used to mean “when all is said and done.” However, in sentences, it’s usually used for emphasis where English would use “exactly”- for example, phrases like “what exactly do you want?” or “what exactly do you mean?”

“为了什么“ is a grammatical change on “为什么“, which is used to mean “why.” The character “为“ can be used to imply doing some action “for” some reason. For example, if you were to do something for someone else, the sentence structure would be “[you] 为了[other person] [action].“ The characters “什么“ mean “what” and are the stand-in for an unknown.

Putting it all together, this becomes “相互拥抱 [mutual embrace] 到底 [emphasis word, “exactly”] 是 [is] 为了什么 [for what?].” The implication is that only through the passage of time (”singing time’s song”) did the singer and the one they are singing to (”you”) begin to understand what “相互拥抱” was for (its existence, or the reason people do it.)

In my translation, I chose to use the subjects of the actual song here (”The reasons we try to hold each other tight”) because it felt like it had more poetic significance. But the subject doing the action of hugging/embracing in the original line is ambiguous- it refers more towards the general action itself, like the singer doesn’t understand why anyone else would do so either.

因为我刚好遇见你 // Because I just happened to meet you 留下足迹才美丽 // Only [by] leaving footprints behind can [this] be beautiful

And here we get to the chorus, which is the whole reason this song captivated me.

The first line, which also echoes the title of the song itself, is quite simple and literal in its translation. I hesitated a bit in whether or not I wanted to add “only” into the sentence to read “Because I only just happened to meet you” to lend more emphasis on the coincidental and irreplaceable nature of this meeting to the singer. I dropped this entirely due to difficult in translating the line that follows, however.

“留下足迹才美丽” is a very difficult line to translate because the nature of the English language requires some type of interpretation on the original text.

“留下” is a word that means both “leave/stay behind” and “remain[ing]” in Chinese depending on the context in the sentence. When describing an action (ie, if I say that I will “留下来”), it general means to leave behind or stay behind. However, you can also describe people/objects as being “留下”, ie things that have been left behind, or things that have remained [after subject is no longer present].

“足迹” refers to footprints, with the first character for “foot” and the second for “trace/imprint.”

The most ambiguous and the hardest part of this line to translate is in “才美丽”, with “美丽” meaning “beautiful” or “to be beautiful.” As in the verse earlier, the “才” conjunction generally means that it is only because of the previous clause that the next part of the sentence is true. In this case, if we consider the full line to include “因为我刚好遇见你”, then the “才” can be interpreted to link the two phrases in a way that means “only because we met, did the footprints I/we left behind become beautiful.”

In my translation, I’ve embellished the line a little bit with “the path we walked” since referring to “footprints” alone as “beautiful” is quite odd in English and I couldn’t find another word that would convey the poetic nature of the original.

风吹花落泪如雨 // [The] wind blows [on] flowers, [from which] tears fall like rain 因为不想分离 // Because [they] don’t want to separate/part

This line here is my favorite line in the whole song, and the imagery captured by it is both easy to describe but hard to express. The literal translation I provided above is the most accurate version of the line- in Chinese, the line itself is written completely metaphorically.

“风” is the word for “wind”, and it is the subject of the next word, “吹”, to “blow.” There is no particle between these two words and the next part of the line- you can therefore interpret this part as separate from the next part about flowers (”the wind blows, the flowers shed tears), or as part of the same phrase (”the wind blows on flowers that shed tears”).

“花落泪如雨” is singularly the most beautiful of this whole song. “花” for flowers is the subject of this phrase, followed by “落泪“ (literally “falling tears”). The tears, “泪”, are then compared in the phrase “如雨”, literally “like rain.” You can thus read this as “tears fall from flowers like rain.”

The actual phrase “泪如雨” comes from an idiom, “泪如雨下” (”tears that fall like rain”) taken from a Song dynasty book of poems, used to describe a deep sadness or grief.

I extensively embellished this image in my translation because I wanted to capture the poetic aspects of the line, which doesn’t quite make it through in the literal translation. The tears that are shed from the flowers refers to falling petals, in a shower that looks like rain.

“因为不想分离”, the last part of this line, is one of those ambiguous phrases that doesn’t have a clear subject. Literally “不想分离” is “don’t want to separate/part” but whether the idea is that the flowers from the first part of the line cannot bear to be separated in a metaphor for the singer and the one they are singing to (”you”), or whether the flowers are the observers that have been moved to tears by the singer parting from their love is not clear.

I’ve gone with a translation that is the closest possible phrase to try and capture the ambiguity, but it’s not quite as natural in English as it was originally.

因为刚好遇见你 // Because I just happened to meet you 留下十年的期许 // Ten years of anticipation/hope have been left behind/remain

The structure for the second half of the chorus matches that of the first. The first phrase is an exact repetition of “Because I just happened to meet you”, but the second part refers to ten years of “期许” that the singer has been left with because of this meeting.

In Chinese, “期许” has a very particular implication. The character “期” can be used to mean “anticipation.” It’s used for a variety of words that all translate to “hope” in English, but denotes a very specific type of “hope” that is “waiting for something that you’re expecting/hoping to happen” rather than the sort of “hope” that is closer to “wishing” or “faith.” For the latter, we’d use something more like “希望.”

To dive further now that we’ve covered the first character “期”, we can look at the words “期待”, “期望”, “期许.” There are three very similar words that are used for the idea of “hope” that’s tinged with anticipation. The first one uses the character “待” which carries a meaning of “waiting” or “intent.” Combined with our earlier character “期”, this most accurately translates to a simple “anticipation” of something that is likely to happen very soon that the speaker is waiting for. The second one uses “望”, a character meaning to “gaze towards” or “hope”, and is also used in the more abstract word for “hope” I referenced above. It has a greater element of wishful thinking in there.

This finally leaves us with the version that this song chose to go with, “期许.” The “许” here can mean a lot of things, but it has some implications of a “maybe/perhaps” in it. This term is usually used to refer to hope specifically for future generations, or the far future.

如果再相遇 // If [we] were to meet again 我想我会记得你 // I think that I��ll remember you

The last two lines were pretty straightforward, but it links up to the line above. Combined with the implications of the “期许”, it gives a sort of dreamlike quality, almost as if the speaker were saying that they would recognize the one they are singing to (“you”) even in another life. That is the type of hope that this meeting has given them.

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And that’s about it! This was a much longer list of notes than I originally anticipated- I didn’t think it was a particularly poetic song. I thought it was pretty straightforward originally haha.

This was a pretty short song (the lyrics just repeat twice) but it’s a really lovely one, so I tried to go into as much detail as possible.

#刚好遇见你 #李玉刚 #notes #thoughts #li yugang

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