#anyway i feel like it would be either the lonely or the hunt but ive read some really good vast!jon fic that makes me think that would work

[evilwizardcrab]

(No extinction because there's not enough options and it's debatable on wether it actually counts as an entity)

[whumpshaped]

a concept just rammed into my head and i will now share it with my fellow Ambac Rotators on this blog: beck and helle species(?) switch

beck as a (relatively) new vampire

helle as a vampire hunter

no idea where this is gonna go. i just had the sudden image of human!helle pinning down a vampire 🛐

good day anon. i finally have the tentative spoons to engage w the fantasy (that ive been meaning to write for FOREVER and ur ask served as a good reminder of my goals and aspirations thank u)

masterlist

vampire hunter beck

tw vampire whumpee, dehumanisation, pet whump

Beck had been overly cautious every time he went hunting. He had to be, as a stupid little runt without anyone to protect him.

He had crawled out of his grave and into the clutches of a woman he barely recognised, only to immediately be discarded once she realised he couldn't use magic. He had begged her to leave him alive at least, promising to stay out of her way and go 'hunt' on someone else's territory; not his proudest moment, but then again, he had little to be proud of lately.

He hunted as best as he could, picking off lone passerby and muffling their cries as he drank his fill, too frantic and hungry to really care about causing pain. Then he disappeared for days, sometimes weeks, terrified of drawing attention to himself. And the cycle would repeat.

Until one day, he slipped up and chose the wrong target.

Beck had never seen a hunter before, especially not so up close and personal — and now that they were straddling his waist and putting a stake to his heart, he decided he didn't fucking like them. He had his hands up on either side of his head without having to be told, completely still in an attempt to appease the hunter who had caught him.

"You're the runt," they stated, not even a hint of doubt in their voice, but Beck nodded anyway.

"Yes, sir," he breathed, very aware of the sharp point digging into his chest whenever he dared inhale.

The title wasn't a conscious choice, really. He'd had to talk his way out of quite a few confrontations before, and if there was one thing he'd learned throughout all of it, it was that manners never hurt.

The hunter looked amused, leaning down a little and inadvertently placing more of their weight on the stake. Beck tensed under them, squeezing his eyes shut in anticipation of his inevitable demise. "Sir? Have I gotten myself a polite little leech?"

"I can be very polite so long as I'm alive, sir," he said hastily, and they chuckled.

"Alive... as if. Don't flatter yourself. I've seen corpses that looked better than you."

Beck pressed himself even more against the ground. "You're right, sir," he squeaked. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, listen." They clicked their tongue at him, like one would to get a pet's attention, and he reluctantly opened his eyes again. "I've got a deal for you."

"A... a deal?"

Was this common? He had nothing to compare this to. Were all hunters like this?

"Only because you're so well-behaved." They pressed down on the stake a little, as a gentle reminder for Beck to keep behaving, and he was suddenly very eager to nod along. "You see, runts are pretty rare. And regular vampires... they can't really be kept. It's a one and done deal, I come in, I stake them, I get my money."

That was simple enough. Terrifying, but simple. But also– "K-kept?"

"Kept," they repeated, grin widening. "Like a dog."

Beck swallowed. He had a feeling of where this was going, and he did not like the implications. "I... I see."

"And while I'm pretty successful, as far as hunters go... This is a dangerous job. I could use a buffer."

"No," he said timidly. "Please, I can't do anything, I can't– I can barely hunt, I'm starving half the time–"

"I could do with bait, too," they interrupted, shushing Beck when they saw him open his mouth to protest. "And of course, because I deal fairly, I'd let you have some blood in exchange. Can't have a pet without feeding it."

That... That made the offer sound much better, all of a sudden. He hadn't had anything to drink in at least a week, getting by on whatever dead animal he could find in the parks at night. Drinking from roadkill. His mouth was watering at the mere thought of human blood, even though the hunter hadn't yet specified what they'd be feeding him.

"Mmm, what is it? Interested?" they taunted, and Beck couldn't resist nodding a little. He wanted someone to protect him so badly; apparently even if they were a hunter.

"What... what do I need to do, sir?" he asked as respectfully as he possibly could, already wincing when the hunter pulled out a collar from their coat pocket and threw it into his hand.

"First things first, put that on. We'll discuss the rest on the way home."

~

taglist: @whumpsday @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw @florissimps @nicolepascaline @oliversrarebooks @thecyrulik @pirefyrelight @there-will-always-be-blood @pigeonwhumps @echo-goes-mmm @whumpycries @morning-star-whump @d-cs @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @tauntedoctopuses @blueyellow8green @typewrittenfangs @whumpsoda @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @auroragehenna @whumpedydump

[lizzie-is-here]

lonely is a man without love

part iv- the hunt

“the moon in me finds the sky in you” - dikshasuman

summary: you and steven do a little bit of grave robbing. oh yeah, marc’s there too.

wordcount: 3.6k

warnings: language, violence, red room talk, idk

a/n: yall i’m so sorry i dropped off the planet for a bit 💀 there’s been a lot going on like i’m in a situationship now w a friend from high school who moved to my college this semester, i finished my finals early, i see taylor swift tomorrow, i’m back home, but ANYWAY i hope y’all enjoy and pls forgive me ik it’s been 3 weeks 😭 love y’all

taglist: @thefictionalgemini @ravenz-hope @undiscl0sed-d3sir3s @iateall-yourcookies @disregardedplant @sunflowers-4 @yellowumbrelllaaaa @bagsy-not-it @local-mr-frog @thescarletredwitch @jupitersmoon167 @creamecafe @stevenknightmarc @theluciansystem @kingtwhiddleston @spider-biter @mxltifxnd0m @sgt-morgan @no-dont-be-suspicious @onzayhe @namorslit @i-cant-write-for-shit @vainillasmil157 @doublevirgogirl

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Hijacking a car is the easiest part.

Driving with a pounding headache isn’t that bad either.

On the other hand, watching Marc fling off his shirt is very hard.

“How did Harrow know those things about me?” you ask, averting your eyes back to the road. “He saw right through me.”

“He’s just trying to mess with you. You know, he’s trying to get in your mind,” Marc says. “No, don’t let him do that. He’s got this idea that he can see the ‘true nature’ of people or some baloney like that.”

He starts putting on a new shirt, and you can’t help but feel a little disappointed as he continues. “If that were true, I don’t think he’d have a bunch of homicidal maniacs as his disciples, would he?”

You tap the steering wheel. “But he knew.”

Marc’s face twists with sympathy. “I know.” He raises a hand to pat your shoulder, but he thinks twice and sets it on the headrest instead. “But he’s just manipulating you. Weaponizing your past.”

You glance at his hand.

“… You can touch me, you know?” It comes out a bit awkward, but meaningful nonetheless.

He gives you a small smile and rests it on your shoulder, a light chill going up your body. You didn’t receive a friendly touch in your life until the Red Room fell, and the first time Nat hugged you after a team dinner you had sobbed your heart out.

It had become your love language, in a way. You may be picky with who touches you, but every passing graze means the world.

And the weight of his hand grounding you feels nice. So you sniffle a bit before nodding sharply.

“Thank you.” Marc doesn’t take his hand back. You don’t want him to. “What did he tell you? I kind of zoned out.”

He shrugs and begins working a knot in your shoulder. “Nothing much. ‘You’re unlovable’ and ‘You’re a monster’. It’s all the same with him.”

You can hear the underlying hurt in his tone, but don’t bring it up.

After a few seconds, you pipe up, hoping to lighten the mood.

“Have I told you about the time I jumped off the collapsing sky base for the Red Room without a parachute?”

———————————————————————

Pulling off into some sand dunes, you drive across the sandy terrain in hopes of finding a place to put this tattered cloth together.

Under the light from the headlights, you and Marc lay out the fabric on the hood of the car and start trying to piece it together.

“Try that,” he says, passing you a triangle.

Working in tandem, you make little progress. It’s like a puzzle with no directions. It’s frustrating to come to so many dead ends, and it’s starting to grate on Marc.

“I’m not getting any whole constellations, it’s just little pieces and fragments.” He slams his hands on the car and walks to the side.

“Marc,” you begin cautiously. “I think we may need Steven. I know you don’t want to, but he understands all of this. We need to give him a shot or we’ll be out here all night.”

Suddenly atop the car, Khonshu chuckles. “I summon the gods, you summon the worm. He won’t return the body.”

“Why do you feel the need to do that?” you grumble, heart rate slowing after the bird practically jumpscared you.

Marc grabs the side mirror before ripping it off and gathering the strips of cloth.

“What is it with you and mirrors?” you ask.

He pauses his irritated work and points to the broken mirror.

“I see Steven in reflections. Figure he’ll be happy about this.” He holds up the cloth.

Sighing, he walks away. “Alright,” he says. “Go ahead. You’re in.”

You can see the change before you hear the British accent.

Steven crouches down in the sand, ripping tape and assembling the scraps faster than you or Marc ever could have. You step closer, unsure of how he feels about you. You did lie about your job to him.

“Steven?” you ask, sitting down next to him. He looks up, momentarily taken aback. He stares for a bit, different from Marc’s half-lidded gaze. His eyes are wide, taking in every detail.

Well, every detail of you. But you don’t know that.

“Egyptians invented modern navigation,” he explains. “There’s not a lot of landmarks in the desert. So, they came up with a way to get about using the sun and stars. It’s bloody genius, innit?”

He holds up his work. A star.

You carefully take it, marveling at the cohesive map.

“Oh, woah, that’s amazing.” Steven blushes a bit at your words, but it goes unseen in the dark. “What do we do with it?”

“Well, I’m not sure, but if… Oh wait, hang on a minute.” He holds it up to the light. “You see that? You see those little pinpricks there? That’s a constellation.”

You nod. “Orion. We should be able to triangulate the stars into coordinates, right? Let me scan it.” With your phone, you pass over the star, letting it pick up the image.

“Well, um, actually… Unfortunately, it’s not that simple.” That much is revealed when nothing turns up. “Yeah, you see, Senfu marked that tomb, like 2,00 years ago. And stars drift over time. Not much as far as stars go, but it could mean the difference between us searching miles away from where we’re supposed to be looking.”

You pick up his insinuation. “So unless we know what the sky looked like on that date…”

“We’re buggered,” Steven finishes.

The god appears ahead of you, a warning before he speaks. “I remember that night. I remember every night.”

When he makes no movement, you and Steven begrudgingly head up the dune to meet him.

“I can turn back the night sky, but it will come at a cost.”

“Doesn’t it always,” you sigh.

He nods to Steven. “I cannot do it alone. Steven, when the gods imprison me, tell Marc to free me.”

Steven is wrapped in the same suit from before a few seconds later, eyes glowing. As the god raises his hand, he begins swiping it through the air. Steven mimics Khonshu’s motions, and before long, you gasp aloud.

The sky is spinning, whirling past as trails of stars blur together. The moon is little but glowing white dots, rapidly switching phases.

You’ve never seen something so beautiful.

“This is the night,” Khonshu says as the spinning stops, freezing the spiraling constellations on the night you were looking for.

“This is surprisingly painful,” Steven shouts.

You hurry to grab your phone, scanning the stars.

“I know, I’m sorry! But it’s working,” you call.

Khonshu collapses to his knees as Steven says, “I can feel my energy leaving me.” The head cover disappears as he loses control of the night sky. He reaches up again, holding it long enough for you to finish scanning.

“I got it! 29 degrees north, 25 east.” Steven collapses, and you tuck your phone away to hold him.

He crawls to you, coughing and trying to control his racing breaths. You help him stand, but it doesn’t do much. He faints as soon as you let go, falling face-first on the sand.

“Steven!” you shout.

“Hey, Steven?” No response. “Marc? Come on, idiots. Where are you? Marc, come on.”

You keep trying until you give up and start dragging the poor man across the sand, but it doesn’t last for long.

Headlights blind you as a car speeds toward the two of you. Shortly followed by gunfire.

“Shit, why do you have to be so heavy?” you grunt. “Oh my god, fine.” Reaching the top, you toss the body over the hill rather unceremoniously, racing down and hopping in the car.

The other car circles you as you duck down, grabbing any weapons you can find. The men step out and start inspecting Steven/Marc, and you take the opportunity to sneak out.

Striking up a flare, the red glow immediately catches their attention.

You hear them yelling before they make a sharp turn and start shooting again. You drop the flare and run around the other side, readying another.

Just as the truck pulls to a stop by the van, you run out, tossing the flaming signal onto the top of the bed, where there was plenty of ammunition just waiting to be exploded. It doesn’t take long for the fuse to spark.

It’s safe to say that you receive a small firework show, and both bodies tumble out with no sign of getting back up anytime soon. If at all.

When you turn around, you immediately shriek.

“OH MY GOD!”

Steven stares back at you, now completely fine and a bit confused.

“…What?” he asks.

You shove him lightly. “Don’t scare me like that, Иисус Христос [Jesus Christ]. I could’ve thrown a flare at you.”

Steven meekly apologizes and your anger dissipates, so you wave to the car.

“C’mon. We’d better get going if we’re going to catch up to Harrow.”

———————————————————————

By the time you’re almost at the tomb, the sun has begun to rise.

“We can’t lose more time,” you grumble finally, breaking the silence. “Harrow must be headed back to this tomb.”

You bite your lip, weighing your words on your tongue. “Listen, if he’s there, we’ll need Marc.”

“No,” Steven says.

You blink. “No?”

He shakes his head. “No. See, the thing is, we made a deal, Marc and I, that when he was done with Khonshu, he would disappear for good.”

Steven glances to the mirror where you figure Marc is yelling at him.

‘But that deal didn’t involve you getting (Y/N) and us killed. That’s not gonna fly with me.’

“You made a deal?” you ask, unaware of the words of the other alter. “That he would just, never come back? Never eat, sleep, live? I understand this is a complicated situation, but both of you belong in your body equally. Besides, that would mean he would also completely disappear from my life.” You add the last bit much quieter.

“What do you mean?”

You hesitate, gripping the wheel. “Yeah, well, the guy’s kinda grown on me. Both of you have.”

‘Steven, you’re gonna make her upset, stop. Give me the body.’

“Even if he would want to ‘lone wolf’ this whole thing,” you continue, waving your hand. “I’ve been there before, and I’m not going to let you dive into a suicide mission alone.”

Ignoring the frustrated man in the mirror, Steven nods. “Yep, it’s just you and me, and the open road.” You brake hard, stifling your amusement as he jolts forward.

“We’re gonna go on foot,” you say, more of an order than a suggestion. He agrees readily, and both of you trek through the narrow path to your destination.

The shadows are a welcome relief from the heat, yet every sound has you tense. Every bit of movement could be a sniper. Every crevice could hide a hitman.

“There.” You point down to a camp. “It looks like they’re already inside, so we need to find another way to beat them to- What’s its name?”

“Uh, Ammit. She eats dead people’s souls.”

“Great. Let’s check the camp.”

Steven heads into a tent, rifling through the belongings. It’s going well, at least until a glass table reflects Marc instead of himself.

‘You look scared.’

“I’m not.”

‘You should be.’ Marc gives a wry grin that’s barely visible on the glass. ‘Without Khonshu, there’s no more suit, no more healing, no more power.’

Steven shines a flashlight directly into his eyes and blinks away the dancing spots. “Yeah, and no more you. I thought. It’s what you said, innit? But believing anything that comes out of your mouth just shows what a plonker I am.”

‘Look, I wish I could just disappear, I really do. But unfortunately, I’m still here. If you’re gonna go through with this, you gotta be smart.’ Marc hesitates a bit. ‘For (Y/N)’s sake. I’ve been in situations like this before.’

Steven shrugs. “So have I. It’s the same body, innit? It’s in there somewhere. Muscle memory and all that.” Marc rolls his eyes from the desk.

‘Yeah, I’m not sure it works that way. Just-’

“Oh, whatever,” Steven huffs, cutting him off.

‘I’m here,’ Marc calls, voice permanently in Steven’s head, even as he tries to walk away. ‘You’re not alone.’

“I know I’m not alone! I know I’m bloody not alone, I’ve got (Y/N). She’s got my back.”

Marc’s snide response shocks both of them. ‘Oh, are you in love?’ he calls. ‘You’re gonna get all of us killed.’

“And you don’t love her?” Steven snaps back, stomping down his flustered-ness to prod at the other man. “Look, I appreciate your concern, mate, I really do. But we’ve got it from here.”

As he eagerly hurries out of the tent, Marc yells from a mirror.

‘If you touch her, I swear to you, Steven. I swear, I’ll throw us off a cliff!’

Meanwhile, searching the camp, you freeze when something catches your eye. A bloodied tool, but not something modern. It’s old as fuck, from what you can tell. But the blood is fresh. Like someone stole this from the tomb and stabbed the nearest person with little regard to the trail they’d leave.

Blood covers the nearby crates. Only more reason to get out of the open.

Charging up your Widow Bites, you head to the entry point where Steven is waiting. You quickly start putting on his harness, trying to ignore how close you are by constantly glancing over your shoulder.

“I have to say, I feel like I’ve been waiting for this my whole life,” he excitedly whispers. “The adventure, I mean.” Not surprising. His love for Egyptology makes this basically the most dangerous yet exciting field study ever.

You smile. “Yeah. We want what we’ve never had.” Tightening the buckles, you can’t help but notice his breath ghosting over your cheek. “You know, family, freedom. Relationships…”

There’s a moment of connection. Your eyes meet and you don’t look away.

He’d be really easy to kiss. You know he would be. And a part of you really wants to. But not right now.

You cough a bit and look away, grabbing some gloves as you clip his harness on the rope.

“I will go down first,” you manage, voice quieter than usual. “Before I belay.”

“Yeah, of course,” Steven says. “What’s belay?”

You chuckle and wordlessly drop, reaching the bottom with little issue. What you don’t see is Marc summoning enough control to punch Steven directly in the face, partially for almost kissing you and partially for not doing it.

Underground, the oppressive heat finally relents and you let out a puff of air.

Grabbing your flashlight, you scan the room and run a finger along the dirt atop the sphinx hidden in the dark.

Before you know it, you’ve traced the signature hourglass of the Red Room.

“Shit,” you whisper. Before you can focus on it for too long, shouting from behind you causes you to whip around.

Steven tumbles down the entrance, falling flat on his back with a grunt. You help him up, dusting him off a bit.

“There you go,” you chuckle.

He blushes a bit. “I kinda wish you hadn’t seen that.” You shrug, smiling.

He glances up, eyes widening. “Oh, wow, look at you…” It’s your turn to blush now, almost giggling at the feeling in your chest before you notice that he’s looking at the sphinx, not you.

“Oh, yeah. They really are… gorgeous, aren’t they?” You’re staring at Steven as you speak. “They’re just, they’ve been standing guard for centuries.”

He nods excitedly. “Right! Look, I just- If they sprang to life right now and asked me a riddle for passage, I’d be thrilled. I’d shit myself,” he adds, “but I’d be thrilled.”

“Did… did you do this?” Steven asks, pointing to the hourglass drawing.

Reluctantly, you nod.

“Force of habit… the… The Red Room protocol was to leave the emblem wherever we went. A subtle reminder that Dreykov’s power went beyond borders.” You gesture to the symbol. “A reminder that he was all-powerful.”

You chuckle ruefully, pointing to the symbol. “Even without the pheromone lock, without his agents, he’s still controlling me.”

Steven notices the way you’re voice has quieted, how your usually-relaxed posture has slumped in on itself.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, as if the stone sphinx can hear him.

In an instant, you’re brushing it off.

“Yeah. No, it’s fine, really,” you say, confident once more and hurriedly striding down the dark hallway.

The path twists and turns, disorienting you until you freeze in a small room.

“It’s a maze,” you huff.

Steven can’t help his quip. “It’s a-maze-ing.”

“No,” you snort before pointing around. “Like, there are six paths.”

The man behind you starts muttering to himself as you scan the room. A familiar smell lingers in the air, one you would know anywhere, even if it is hidden by the smell of sand and dust.

Gunpowder.

A few bullet shells lie in the sand.

“What were they shooting at?” you whisper. No one else should be here except Harrow’s dig team.

Steven begins tracing on the center table, much like you had. When you notice a shape forming, you step closer to inspect it.

“This whole structure is the Eye of Horus,” he says. “Look at that. It’s the royal symbol, protection in the afterlife.”

You nod, keeping up with the research you’d done. “But, the resources needed…” The epiphany hits you. “Ammit’s final avatar was a pharaoh.”

“Woah, a bloody pharaoh,” Steven gasps.

“So, do you think this is a map?” you ask, not wanting to disturb the drawing.

“Right. The Eye of Horus is also the eye of the mind, yeah? Representing the six senses, six points. The eyebrow denotes thoughts. Pupil, sight, obviously.”

He continues pointing about the shape. “This point here is, uh, hearing. Smell, touch. And this long line ending in a spiral, is the tongue.”

“An avatar would be Ammit’s voice,” you mutter.

Both of you turn to the corresponding tunnel at once, heading down it together. It ends in an open room, still very musty smelling but less claustrophobic than the previous areas.

You explore for only a few seconds before Steven’s gagging.

“Oh my- Oh my god, is that fresh blood?” he manages. “Isn’t that little chunks of meaty bits?”

You nod in affirmation, really hoping he doesn’t hurl. That’s when you notice canopic jars, very full of organs and coated in very fresh blood. It hasn’t even crusted.

Another bloodied tool lies on the operating table.

You’d read about doctors and sorcerers buried with a pharaoh to protect him from intruders, but this? Checking down the exit hallway, you only see a thick trail of blood.

“Okay, okay,” you hiss, glancing up to the secondary level. “Steven, there might be a way out up there, go check.”

He clambers up with a bit of help from you, wood creaking and echoing around the stone walls.

“So, according to the ancient texts, Ammit should be bound to an ushabti, a little stone statue thingy.” You let him geek out a bit before gunfire stops your heart right in its tracks.

“Harrow,” you say, just loud enough for Steven to hear.

“What are they shooting at?”

You don’t have time to respond when a sickening clicking sound comes from right outside the door.

“Hide. Hide,” Steven calls.

With nowhere to go, you duck down by the table.

The clicking grows ever closer until you spot something, mangled and grotesque, tossing a barely-alive digger onto the stone surface.

The stabbing and squelching sound that follows is enough for you to know that some more jars are about to be filled.

In all honesty, you’ve heard worse, so you silently exhale and try to stay as still as possible.

That plan gets shot the moment you shift and bump a jar.

Wincing, you silently shift away from the table, steadying your breathing as the clicking grows more aggressive. From Steven’s hiding spot, a loud creak rises up and the creature -whatever is it is- jumps atop the table to search for the source of the sound.

You can hear it start climbing the wall, fighting to get to Steven. And that just won’t do.

With a click of a button, you fire off an electrical blast from your gauntlets. It stuns the mummified man, who falls to the table.

Steven shouts with a force you’ve never heard from him and topples a shelf, effectively crushing it.

“I squished it. I squished it,” he whispers.

“Yes,” you say, forcing an encouraging tone. “You definitely squished it, now come on.”

He clambers down the ledge with no semblance of grace, and you take his hand, rushing through the hallway to want you hope will be your destination.

As you’re stepping across shattered stones, a grin finally forms on your face.

This is it. The walls are lined with hieroglyphs, gilded statues line the chamber.

And a sarcophagus lies in the center, water surrounding it.

“Oh, my days,” Steven whispers. “First ones in. Tomb fit for a pharaoh. Thutmose II, Nefertiti, it’s gotta be one of the big ones.”

You point to the sarcophagus, eyes narrowing.

“Steven?”

“Yeah?”

“Those aren’t hieroglyphs. That’s…”

You speak at the same time. “Macedonian.”

He mutters to himself, inspecting the writing. Thoughts spilling out as his mouth races to keep up with his mind.

“I think we’re looking at the long-lost tomb of Alexander the Great,” he concludes. You understand why he’s excited, but a part of you also knows that now is not the time. Not when you’re in a time crunch.

Setting your hands on the lid, you nod for Steven to join you.

“Everything inside me is, like, screaming not to open this thing,” he says nervously.

“Well, it’s either us or Harrow. Your pick.” You know it’s a bit unfair, but it works.

He sets his hands by yours, bracing himself.

You raise a brow. “You ready?”

“Yeah.”

[helyiios]

Bedside lullaby

(Brandt/Hunley, 1.5k hurt/comfort drabble. Pre-relationship, but if you squint real hard it’s here)

One shot. One bullet, straight to the stomach. There had been blood, of course. A lot, he’d heard. They’d kept Luther close to him until backup had arrived, and by the time they were there, their Secretary was covered in gore.

Serves him right for trying to be a secret agent à la Ethan Hunt, he thinks, grumbling to himself as he throws his shitty coffee cup in one of the hospital’s bins, leaning back against the corridor’s wall. Some people are meant to give orders from the comfort of an office, there was no need of changing the order of things.

One of the doctors suddenly catches his attention, nodding to him as if to make him understand that he could finally come inside his superior’s room. He’d been waiting for around seven hours, had visited approximately all that a visitor could, had seen the different wings of the buildings at least twice, and had had the time to count the amount of ceiling lights in wing W, which were at a total of 247. How fucking peachy.

“He’s awake,” the man in the white coat tells him, but truth be told, he’s barely listening to him, “he’s extremely numb and vulnerable, so try not to push him too much. The bullet barely grazed his stomach, a few millimetres more and he was a gone man.”

That’s great, thanks a lot.

“Alright,” William Brandt says instead, offering him a tight lipped smile. “Thank you.”

“Of course. We usually only allow family, but the man who was with us in the ambulance gave us your contact info. We assumed he had no other next of kin.”

“Yeah I’m…we’re coworkers,” he defers, technically not lying. “Sorry, I’ll leave you to it. Thanks again.”

The doctor nods curtly, exiting the room quietly. Brandt watches him disappear around the corner of the corridor before inhaling deeply, smoothing the lapels of his jacket, trying to pretend like he hadn’t just spent the most boring and stressful day of his life. And anyway, his face and the dark bags that adorned it would probably tell the story for him. No need to play pretend.

He makes his way inside the hospital bedroom, taking in how spacious it was. The bathroom was wide, and there was a small couch near some sort of diner table. He almost wants to roll his eyes at this—how many missions had he gone through, waking up in the world’s shittiest and least clean hospitals he’d seen ? Talk about special treatment.

His superior is in the bed, one arm hooked to a catheter, his chest rising and falling to the rhythm of the bipping of the machines, eyes closed. He looked almost peaceful.

“I know you aren’t sleeping,” Brandt groans, grabbing a chair and letting it drag on the floor with an uncomfortable screech, “asshole.”

“Ow,” comes the immediate reply, “you could afford to give a little more sympathy to a wounded man.”

“If you had stayed in D.C, you wouldn’t be here.”

“One has to make sacrifices, in this line of work,” Alan Hunley retorts, but his voice isn’t either playful nor amused. He sounds extremely tired, and he has difficulties speaking. “It’s fine. I made it out, in the end.”

“Barely, yes.”

“Yes, sorry about that, I’m sure you learning of my demise would’ve brightened your day considerably,” Hunley offers, finally daring to let humour slip through his words, “I’ll do better next time, I promise.”

“I don’t fucking feel like joking, Alan,” Brandt almost spits, fists closed in anger, “this isn’t funny !”

“No, it’s not.”

The Secretary closes his eyes again, sighing deeply as he let his head sink deeper into the hard pillow. The drops in his IV were falling almost in synch with the beating of his heart.

“Why are you here ?” he asks then, turning his face a little so they were looking at each other, “don’t you have mission files and reports to fill ?”

“I’m here because you’re a lonely guy whose closest next of kin is his subordinate,” Brandt icily replies, locking their gazes forcefully. “That’s a little sad, isn’t it ?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sure your mother is fond of coming to your bedside everytime you hurt yourself on missions.”

“Okay, funny guy. Hilarious. Just—that was a really close call. And I don’t feel like joking about it, is all.”

“I’m not making jokes,” Hunley notes, “I’m deflecting. The mood of this place is daunting enough as it is, no need to add your forever gloomy face to the mix.”

“My face isn’t gloomy. I’m—concerned.”

“Well, you shouldn’t be. I’m alright, I’ll be good as new in a few months, ready to overwork you and your team of self sacrificing idiots.”

“Unless you’ve forgotten, you are part of this team too,” Brandt says, “and anyway, talk about self sacrifice when you’re the one who jumped in front of a bullet.”

“How sweet. Just what I needed,” the other mocks, the shadow of a smile still appearing on his bow shaped lips. “I may be the one who has gotten shot, you don’t look too well either. Did you run into a wall, perhaps ?”

A scoff, and Brandt’s crossing his legs self consciously, tugging at his loosened tie.

“I’ve been here since 1AM yesterday,” he mumbles, running a hand through his short hair, “there isn’t much to do, in a hospital.”

That seems to take Hunley by surprise.

“1AM ? But it’s early morning.”

“Yeah, Sherlock. It’s almost 9AM.”

A frown.

“Why on Earth would you stay the night ?” the older man asks, clearly confused, “that seems counter productive.”

“Oh, are you fucking kidding me ?” Brandt frustratedly exclaims, throwing his hands in the air, “because someone needed to check on you, is why ! Because there needs to be someone to tell the IMF if their Secretary General fucking died in surgery !”

“While I appreciate the sentiment, I’m sure doctors would’ve notified you all the same without you having to stay here,” Hunley remarks, raising his index at him. “All I am saying is, you could use some sleep. That look on you is…ghastly.”

“Honestly, go fuck yourself,” the other annoyedly replies. “I stayed because I wanted to. And yes, I look like shit, but at least you’ve got someone to talk to while you’re waking up from your surgery, and you’re not staring at the ceiling waiting for God knows who until God knows when.”

“Mm. That would imply that I want to talk to you.”

“Well, you are. Aren’t you ?”

A huff.

“Alright, sure. You look jumpy, though. Are you sure you’re alright ?”

“Am I sure I’m a—fuck, Alan !” Brandt can’t help but yell, face in his hands, “you almost died ! What is it about that that you don’t understand ?!”

“No, William, I understand the gravity of my situation quite well, thank you very much. What I do not understand, is why you seem so worked up about it.”

The younger man lets out a high pitched scream inside his palms, shaking his head dejectedly. His shoulders are shaking.

“Brandt ?”

“I guess I got scared, alright ? I got—I got scared you really were dead,” he finally says, defeated. When he raises his head again, his eyes are wide. “I panicked, and I felt helpless. I knew I should’ve taken the job with the rest of them. Fuck.”

“Well, I’ve made it out, haven’t I ?”

“A few millimetres to the left and you wouldn’t have,” he continues, parroting the doctor’s words. “I don’t know, okay ? I was scared. Fuck. I don’t even know why I’m admitting this to you, it’s going to inflate to huge ego of yours.”

Hunley lets out a soft laugh at this, clenching his fingers as his catheter slightly shifted on the sheets.

“I’m touched you seem to…care so highly of my person to worry that much. But I promise to you, William, that I am quite alright. Nothing I can’t recover from, at least.”

“I know that,” Brandt mumbles, averting his eyes. “It’s whatever. Forget it. Forget I said anything.”

“No, I think it’s sweet,” the other jokingly remarks, “but really, you should go home and rest, now that you know that I’m okay. You really don’t look good.”

“‘s fine. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“My, are you playing bodyguard ?”

“If that’s what it takes for you to stop putting yourself in stupid situations you aren’t used to tackle, sure,” Brandt says, shrugging stiffly as he took his suit jacket and tie off. He folds them on the back of the chair neatly, patting them for good measure.

There’s a slight pause, and the muscle in his jaw visibly tenses. Like he’s thinking about something.

Finally his hands rises, barely, landing on the other man’s, palm warm.

He gives a soft squeeze, something that’s barely there.

“It’s good to have you back, mister Secretary,” he settles on saying, the corner of his mouth curling until what could be considered a smile. “Don’t go dying on me while I sleep.”

He takes his hand off, and Hunley finds that he misses its warmth.

The other’s snores keep him awake.

[chikkou]

Will you talk more about Lisa?? Lisa the character specifically but also your feelings on his feelings about Buddy? I just thought your analysis was so good and I want to hear other thoughts you have on her.

yall are honestly spoiling me rn sdhkfdjfks this is like a dream come true 

i already got into the stuff with buddy in this ask here but i have a LOT to say about lisa and the connection between her and buddy so u better settle in!

ok so firstly ill start with lisa. i played the original lisa game (lisa the first) not long after it first dropped in 2012, and im not even kidding when i said it changed me LMAO.... seeing a story about a girl suffering is nothing new, but austin jorgensens approach to it was so fucking unique. you dont just witness it, you get to EXPERIENCE it right along with her. many stories that involve sexual abuse/rape show or otherwise depict it explicitly for the shock value, which is both disgusting and, in my opinion, extremely fucking exploitative. i feel that it is horrific to dignify an act so deeply evil with screentime. but lisa stood out to me immediately because, even though you know exactly whats going on, the game NEVER shows anything explicit. everything is layered in subtext and symbolism, and austin is fantastic with indirect storytelling, so you learn so much from just a little drop of information. this applies not just to the game proper, but to the character as well.

in case its not clear: i absolutely ADORE lisa. she is my favorite character in all of the games, bar none. its going to sound kind of fucked up, but as a kid around her age going through some fucked up shit, her committing suicide at the end felt like a sort of victory to me. she knew she could never escape from marty or what he was doing to her. he leaks into every single part of her psyche, everything she ever cared about or loved is ruined because of him, and even the vague memory of her mother is completely corrupted, and turned into a muddled version of him. lisa the first also had the added benefit of some religious commentary, as there are crosses all over their home and marty is characterized as an extremely religious man, which i fucking LOVE and wish had come back in the painful, but its an acceptable loss. anyway, lisa committing suicide at the end was an act of defiance against not just marty, but martys god, as suicide is considered a mortal sin in catholicism. lisa knew she’d never be free of marty in life, so she escaped the only way she could; she was defiant to the end.

ive seen people complain that the painful has a bit of a “lost lenore” thing going on, since lisas death seems to fuel the Manpain of both brad and buzzo, but i actually disagree. on the contrary, its just like austin himself said - lisa will never be gone. lisa is ALWAYS there, with brad, and buzzo, and buddy, and marty, and yado, and the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD. i dont necessarily think that there is something paranormal going on in the game, but i AM going to say that, unlike other cases of a girl/woman dying for a mans backstory, lisa isnt just a bittersweet memory they can reflect on and then put away when its convenient for them. she is a presence that is felt throughout the entire game. brad sees her more than once, sometimes watching, sometimes reprimanding him. buzzo is clearly haunted by her, as he cries out to her a few times in the joyful. every character who was directly touched by lisa - brad, marty, and buzzo - calls out to lisa as they die. call it their guilt or call it her actions, but in either case, it is clear that lisa just as significant of a character in the painful as she was in the first, even if she cant always be seen. even in a meta-sense, every game in the series - even the joyful, whose protagonist doesnt even know who she is - is named after her. she is at the center of everything that happens in them. 

that actually brings me to buddy, because i find the dynamic between her and lisa fucking fascinating. as i previously mentioned, brad never talked about his past with buddy, and snaps at her for bringing up his adoptive son dusty (rando), so it goes without saying that she definitely doesnt know who lisa is. in spite of that, though, lisa is a fucking massive part of buddys life, and while she may not know the person herself, i think she is aware that when people (and brad especially) look at her, they arent seeing HER. 

i mentioned it in another post, but even though brad takes it upon himself to raise and “protect” buddy, he seems to almost unwittingly recreate lisas appearance, primarily by allowing her hair to grow long even though he knows what a risk that is to her safety. he also treats buddy in a manner thats incredibly similar to how marty treated lisa (sans sexual abuse, of course) - he insults her, does not let her leave the house at all, and forces her to do unsavory things that no one should ever have to do (in buddys case, this means killing at least two innocent people because brad doesnt want a “weak” daughter). the most literal comparison between buddy and lisa is the fact that they are both very young girls being essentially held captive by their father figures, albeit for different reasons, and both long for freedom from their captors. 

theres also the fact that both buddy and lisa have to deal with misogyny and the effects of rape culture firsthand; they both battle against men who feel entitled to do with them whatever they please, and the threat of ongoing sexual abuse looms heavy over both of their heads. neither one can seek help from anyone; the neighbors in brad and lisas town seem complacent at best, if they even know what is happening to lisa at all, and buddys only allies (sans rando) are long dead by the start of the joyful. this is not just a hypothetical or a distant possibility. this is the real, tangible fate that will befall them if they cant somehow secure their safety.

sadly, because lisa wasnt playable in either of the rpgs, we dont know if she was able to fight as brad was, but it is highly probable that she had the innate skill but was never able to learn it (as marty highly discouraged them from learning “their grandfathers karate,” and seemed disgusted whenever brad did so). however, she did have ONE weapon she could make use of, and this is a weapon buddy ends up using, as well - her femininity. she became close to bernard (aka buzzo), made him fall in love with her, and then used him as a last ditch effort to stop martys abuse by having him mutilate her face. im not saying lisa never cared about bernard - in fact, i think she DID really love and care for him - but her own fucked up experiences with “love” meant she really couldnt understand what it was supposed to be like, or that it was wrong to manipulate the people you care about. lisa did very few things wrong - it pretty much just stops at the maiming of the cat and her manipulation of bernard - but she knew that she would never get away from marty without some kind of drastic action being taken, and scarring herself was her last ditch effort before ultimately committing suicide.

buddy ends up taking a somewhat similar tack in the joyful, and like in lisas case, its simultaneously resourceful and horrific. one of buddys key moves in the joyful is to flash the enemy (which the player obviously doesnt see) in order to distract them long enough to get the kill. its fucking horrible and disgusting and makes you feel so dirty, but then, how must buddy feel having to do something like that just to survive? shes just a child, but in a world where almost every man is out to get you, she knows this has to be done to save herself, very much like lisa. unlike in lisas case, though, buddy is successful in securing her safety in this way - lisas effort is for naught, and leads to her committing suicide not very long after. 

in a way, i sort of attribute buddys brutality to lisas omnipresence; all of the men pursuing buddy are just like marty, monsters who would harm a fucking child for their own disgusting ends, and i think that when buzzo said that lisa wouldve loved olathe, what he means is that she would have loved seeing so many horrible men being punished for what theyd done. so in my opinion, buddy carving out a place for herself in olathe by killing all those who would subjugate her seems very much in the mentality lisa would have had. sure, there are some innocents who sadly get roped into it, but that would definitely not be her intention; for example, if buzzo could have practiced amputation without harming a living thing, i dont think lisa would have asked him to practice on the cat. note the LACK of brutality at the beehive and the swamp bar, two of the few peaceful places in the painful and both devoid of predatory men hunting for buddy - lisa has no qualm with any of them. but marty? brad could hardly even get a full sentence out before killing him on the spot. i dont doubt that that has a great deal to do with lisas presence. 

ok i talked for a while LMAO but basically i think that, in a more metatextual sense, lisa and buddys relationship really strikes me as an accurate depiction of generational trauma. of course it was intentional with the more obvious trauma chain (marty to brad to buddy), but the trauma chain of marty to lisa to buddy is rarely ever addressed due to lisa not physically appearing in the painful. however, i believe it may inform buddys actions a great deal more than people realize - after all, buddys experience is unique, but who could understand it better than lisa? who knows that sort of pain, of being alone on an island, the lone woman trapped with a man (or men) who want nothing more than to cause you harm? even without her realizing it, lisa is guiding buddy, encouraging her to take back what is hers no matter the cost, to punish those who would try to take what they want from her. lisa might be dead, but she is a vengeful presence throughout every game, and buddys actions feel like theyre meant not only to save herself, but to avenge lisa, even if she doesnt realize it. at the end of the day, buddy and lisa both get to exact revenge against all the men who have wronged them, and they succeed. they are aggressive, and violent, and selfish, and ANGRY - and they have every fucking right to be. 

[fotiathymos]

would love to hear the backstory hcs regardless of them being sad or not :0

SIGH. 

I wrote a lot and it got eaten by tumblr and I'm upsetti so IDK if this is any good. Also this is just Lio's backstory stuff and his parents. I could do Galo but maybe if anyones interested I will?? And not tonight..

Its sad and its LONG. So just be prepared for that. Its also 2 am so no one will read this anyway so...

tw for parental death, kidnapping, stalking, genocide, government abuse, and if i miss something my apologies

Do note this isn't the end all be all for a Lio back story. I honestly love everyones interpretations. Mine tends to be sad and less cool and edgey I guess? Everyone makes it cooler, I just go.. oh heres some sad mixed with reasons for Lio's mental illness. 

DO REALIZE. PLEASE. REAL GENOCIDE IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW IN THE WORLD AND IS NOT COMPARABLE AT ALL TO ANY FICTIONAL 'RACE' LIKE THE BURNISH.

Okay.

Lio's backstory and his parents.

--

Lio is a powerful burnish. We know that. He has massive control of his flames and a strong connection to the Promare. It is a common theory that he awoken as a Burnish rather young. I share that theory. Lio became burnish around 8-9 years old. Very very young. Most children who become burnish are taken away, hated by the parents or killed/arrested by Freeze Force. Lio was loved very much by his parents.

Like Simon and Nia. Lio's parents were rebels. They grew up in a world where there wasn't any burnish. They witnessed the uprising, the first World Blaze, the oppression of the burnish. They were against it. They were not burnish themselves but they could not just idly sit by and watch people get murdered and kidnapped for something they couldn't control. Lio's parents joined the rebellion quickly.

His father being an inspiring man, friendly, loveable, a leader, and a beacon for the good of all man and Spiral kind. He was fond of pointy glasses, capes and inspirational speeches. His mother was kind, a bad cook but still tried, soft spoken and believes there is good in everyone. Lio got his attitude from his father, his soft spokeness from his mother. And maybe some magical pretty eyes and hair from his mom too.

His parents were anarchists. His father worked in a line of direct action. Fighting and pushing back against the government, rioting, sabotaging government burnish kidnappings, breaking people out of prison, etc. His mother pretended to play 'stay at home mom'. She worked with the community to build unity and strength within. She'd homeschool Lio to make sure he was not fed propaganda that was quickly over taking the education system. She owned a community garden and helped feed everyone. From a young age Lio was surrounded and taught to be kind and help others.

Unfortunately, Lio was an unexpected child in an unexpected time. The activism of his parents cause the young family and the young child to be targets of the government. Considering they werent burnish and no crimes could be found on them, Freeze Force just wanted the annoying pests to be eliminated. But killing a quiet family wouldn't look good on their part. They wanted to scare them out of activism, scare them into obeying the order. Lio became an easy target.

Strange men started to stalk Lio. It was quickly noticed by his parents and caused them to isolate their child from the world. Lio was a lonely kid, he wasn't allowed friends, couldn't go to the park and mostly stayed home with his mother. 

One day while playing in the backyard, Lio wandered off. His mother was keeping an eye on him of course, but kids are kids. And Lio was Lio and a rebellious kid. He wandered off into a stranger who was watching him from afar. Waiting for Lio to get far enough away to be grabbed. The stranger threw a bag over Lio's head and desperately tried to throw him into a van. Lio was young and small and scared. He was suddenly covered in flames. Burning both himself and the stranger. 

His mother who was already frantically looking for her child, suddenly saw flames appear in her backyard. She grabbed a hose and hosed them down. Only to see her child still on fire. She grabbed Lio, ignoring the burns and ran into the house away from the stranger. After placing Lio in the shower and calming him down, telling him he was safe, she quickly packed bags and left with Lio. 

The family moved to a new house quickly. The news never mentioned a man being burned by the burnish, but they couldn't risk anything.

They now had a burnish son, who was lonely, scared, paranoid and burning everything all the time. In their activism the parents grew to understand the burnish struggles and needs. Not to the extent of understanding completely as they were not burnish but they tried. They loved Lio and did everything they could to help him. His father would teach him to control is flames to make objects, from toys to animals to swords. His mother had him help with cooking, control the flames to not burn the food. They served many burned dinners either way. One day they walked in on Lio climbing into the oven while it was turned on. Freaking out, but suddenly realized he was fine. Lio's excuse was he wanted to see the fires. 

Lio would talk about how the fire spoke to him. How he needed to burn. It became a common thing of Lio bursting into flames just from laughing too hard or crying or just any emotion being felt a little bit too hard. His father always had a pair of fire proof gloves in his pocket and would pick up Lio and rush him into the shower to cool down. He could burn all he wants in the shower with no water, but if it got too much he was to turn it on and cool off. 

The house furniture had scorch marks in Lio's favorite spots. Lio's favorite books needed multiple copies because he'd get so excited from certain parts in the story he'd set the book aflame. He was to watch his mother garden from afar to not burn the plants. Lio learned to make fire that wasn't hot quickly so he could still burn in excitement or joy and not harm his parents or things.

His parents were still activist. Laying low but committed in making the world a better place for their son. His mother stayed home still to teach Lio as he got older. His father would do more secretive work but it'd cause him to not come home for days. They were still being hunted. And possibly even more so since information about their burnish son may be known.

Lio was 12 when he was home, staring into the fireplace, breathing with the flames. His father was out for work. His mother busy in the garden out front. A Freeze Force van pulled up. His mother quickly ran inside. "Lio, go hide. Now." But it was too late. Large men pounded through the front door and threw a bag over Lio's mother's head. Lio screamed for her and burst into flames. He tried to direct them at the men who now had his mother on the floor. But suddenly everything was cold. Lio was shot frozen. And blacked out.

Freeze Force arrested Lio. They told him his parents were killed for treason. Lio was to be experimented on. He never saw them again.

When he finally broke out of prison, he tried to go home. There was a new family in his house. They quickly called the cops on him and Lio ran. Lio was on the run for years. Joining and leaving groups of burnish, being on his own for some years. 

When he finally found the Mad Burnish, interacting with others was foreign to him. He managed to connect with Meis and Gueira only. They respected Lio's way of communication, no touching, less talking, more actions, more burning. 

Being on the run, with and without the Mad Burnish, made Lio never really have a 'home'. The only one he ever had was taken from him. After the Parnassus events, staying put or settling down wasn't in him. Lio continued to travel with Meis and Gueira to aid other ex burnish around the world. He'd come back to Promepolis every so often to stay in touch with Galo. They'd mostly call and video chat from afar but it was nice to see eachother after all they've been through.

It took Lio over a year to finally discuss his feelings with Galo. And even then, when they finally became romantically involved, Lio requested they 'take it very very slow'. Lio continued to travel and help others but started staying at Galo's apartment more. It took another year for Lio to finally call Galo's apartment... home.

When Lio finally opened up to Galo about what happened when he was younger.. Galo told him how proud Lio's parents would be of him. How he was still so kind, loving and helping others, just like his parents. How proud they'd be knowing Lio saved the world. 

--

Okay! That was sappy and i tried to end it nice??? I didn't proof read this... its 230 am... ive got insomnia so whatever but staring at a screen typing doesnt help nor did tumblr eating this post first and having to rewrite it.

Once again this is just thoughts. I'd love to know what anyone thinks. Ive seen much cooler more actiony backstories of Lios parents being ex mad burnish leaders or something. I just got sad. pft.

Thank you for reading if you got this far!!! Much love!! Hope I didn't make anyone feel horrible. GNIGHT!

[epicstuckyficrecs]

Best of 2018 Stucky Fic Rec!

Another year gone! How the time goes by! :P 

This year has been a huge year for me personally and for this blog - I went back into my archive to check, and I’ve gained more than five thousand followers this year, which is crazy to me!!! :O Thank you guys so much! I’m glad that you enjoy this blog!

This is the search I used to compile this post 

(all fics are in no particular order)

Under a read more because this post has gotten ridiculously long!

(Updated 09/2020)

Personal favorite fics of 2018 (completed)

despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) by praximeter (Zimario) (71K)

“They really didn’t want the mask to come off.” Hill thumbed through the scans, and pulled out a film that she then handed over to Sam, face mostly expressionless but for the flat line of her pursed lips.

Sam accepted the film and held it up to the light, angling so both he and Steve could see it, squinting at the outline of the Winter Soldier’s skull, and the blips of unnatural white that showed up, God, in his brain, not to mention about half his teeth, plus the mask, with its thin protrusions—

“Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.”

Hill’s face was as unmoved as ever. “Like I said. They really didn’t want it coming off.”

~ ~ ~

If They Haven't Learned Your Name by silentwalrus (237K)

Steve gets out of the hospital in two days, but just barely. “I’m fine,” he tells Sam, Nurse Eunjung and the phalanx of doctors assigned to make sure Captain America didn’t bleed out and die and get bad PR all over their nice clean hospital. “I have an advanced healing factor. It’s fine. See? I’m standing.”

“That is not standing,” Sam tells him.

“You’re bending the IV stand,” Nurse Eunjung adds pointedly. “Let go and sit down, they don’t grow on trees.”

aka Steve and Bucky's Global Honeymoon Revenge World Tour.

~ ~ ~

Ain't No Rest for the Wicked by Kellyscams (305K)

Steve's just moved back to Brooklyn after spending ten years in California trying to make a life for himself as an artist right after high school. Having escaped to the other side of the country following the sudden death of his mother, Steve feels guilty about abruptly leaving all his friends for so long, unfulfilled, scared and nervous about started college at his age, and unbelievably lonely. So when he meets Bucky Barnes, a young sex-worker, at a bar the night before his first day of classes, temptations might be too high to resist.

One night paying for sex with the most sinfully gorgeous guy is nothing to brag to the papers about, huh?

S'not like he'll ever see him again anyway...

...Right?

~ ~ ~

Scents and Sensibility: The Working Assassin's Guide to Supersoldier Seduction by galwednesday, silentwalrus, skellerbvvt  (93K)

Captain America wakes up from the ice in 2013. The Winter Soldier wakes up in 2009, or rather defects from HYDRA, for a value of defect that’s closer to decimate. He ends up working for SHIELD. In April 2014, he’s assigned to Captain America’s mission as a sniper. Steve’s just trying to get some kind of life together. Bucky is too, or at least he was until tall, blond and Captain shows up and starts just - being there, all the time. It’s terrible. It’s the worst. He has to do something about it.

~ ~ ~

Heat Forged by cleo4u2, xantissa (159K)

Steve and Bucky have bonded, fallen further in love, and are learning to live together in Avengers Tower. Everything is wonderful, until it isn’t any more. Once again they have to overcome all obstacles set before them to keep their family intact

Part 2 of Heat Wave (Sequel to Heat Stroke: not a stand alone fic.)

~ ~ ~

This is how it starts by rinnya (35K)

Steve Rogers and The Winter Soldier meet for the first time in 2014 during the canon divergence events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

It starts like this: this is how they fall in love.

~ ~ ~

My Bucky by cleo4u2, xantissa (12K)

Bucky finds a feral Alpha in the woods. Rather, the Alpha finds him. Bucky is sure it’s the end of his life as an independant Omega. It turns out to be the beginning of the strangest romance Bucky’s ever known.

~ ~ ~

Fill Your Heart Without Trying by Kellyscams (38K)

Steve Rogers is a caster with one very big problem. He's accidentally turned himself into a puppy.

~ ~ ~

(Series) Something Wild Calls You Home by superheroresin (279K)

Bucky’s barbed tongue slips out between two dry, pink lips and tastes the salty familiarity on Steve’s fingertips. The memory is distant, like a dream, and his left ear flicks as he lifts his head with renewed energy. “If it isn’t the Star Spangled Man With a Plan,” he croaks out, grinning wide enough to show his fangs. In which Captain Steve Rogers becomes the new keeper of the disabled hunting cat who once saved his life, and learns that the price of freedom is higher for some more than others.

Part 2 of Something Wild Calls You Home

~ ~ ~

The Firing Line by thepinupchemist (37K)

When Steve's dad is diagnosed with cancer, Steve returns to his childhood home to support his mom -- a small town called Gold Cliff, Colorado. Ten years before, he left Gold Cliff behind him, left his no-longer-best-friend Bucky Barnes behind him, with the intention of never seeing him ever again. But Bucky Barnes crash-lands back into his life nonetheless, long-haired and one-armed and haunted, keeping secrets from day one.

Filled with self-loathing and millennial angst, they agree to a mutually beneficial sexual relationship to blow off steam.

Steve should have known better than to think he could ever put Bucky Barnes behind him.

~ ~ ~

(Series) Honey Honey by justanotherStonyfan (15K)

The kid is maybe, oh, twenty years younger than him? Clean-shaven, and looking out of the corner of his eye at Steve in the same way Steve feels he must be looking at the kid – i.e., like he wants to do any number of unmentionable things to him.

Because boy does Steve ever want to do unspeakable things to this kid.

Part 1 of Honey Honey (236K+)

~ ~ ~

Throw Me (A Helping Hand) by Quarra, RemingtonFae (69K)

Or, where Loki is an absolute troll for the Powers of Mostly-Sometimes-Good, Bucky is having the worst century ever, and everything still manages to turn out mostly okay.

~ ~ ~

The Necrofloranomicon by leveragehunters (Monkeygreen) (47K)

Bucky didn't want much. Just to keep his head down, to sell his scavenged flowers in peace, and to stay off Shield's radar. His life would have been a lot easier if his flowers weren't dead and if being a necromancer wasn't illegal, but easy or not, he was getting by. Steve didn't want much, either. He was happy working for Shield, he had good friends, and overall his life was going just about the way he wanted it. Problem was, being happy with your life was generally an invitation for fate to throw a spanner in the works—and in Steve's specific case, it was going to be a spanner named Bucky.

(A love story about flowers, trust, and magic and the choices we make about doing what's right.)

~~~

Personal favorite WIPs of 2018

Astronomy In Reverse by pansley (Post-WS, Bucky & Peter | 98K, 14/? | Teen)

Fan the Flame by Avaaricious (Shrunkyclunks, Veteran Bucky | 253K, 26/? | Mature)

There Is No Shortage of Blood by alby_mangroves, Dira Sudis (dsudis) (Post-WS, WS Recovery | 234K, 54/58 | Explicit)

Whip Crack by Quarra (Tentacles | 94K, 11/? | Explicit)

ain't really quaint by quietnight, silentwalrus (canon divergent, Post-WS? | 35K, 3/4 | Mature)

the sound of rain on tin by luninosity (MCU & RPF crossover | 17K, 3/4 | Teen)

a rupture, a rapture by newsbypostcard (Post-IW | 71K, 12/30 | Explicit)

~ ~ ~

Other ESFR-approved fics

Under the Bridges of Fame by alby_mangroves, notlucy (Shrunkyclunks | 90K | Explicit)

Through The Woods by alby_mangroves, VenusMonstrosa (Werewolf Bucky | 64K | Explicit)

M is for Murder by rohkeutta (Post-WS | 4K | Mature)

Life of the Party by AggressiveWhenStartled (Shrunkyclunks | 21K | Explicit)

Steve Rogers. Cheerfully Slutty. by relenafanel (Modern AU, friends with benefits | 20K | Explicit)

(series) couples therapy by silentwalrus (Post-WS?, PWP, BDSM | 19K | Explicit) 

#TweetMeDaddy by StarSpangled (Senforza) (Shrunkyclunks | 4K | Teen)

Hey, Asshole! A New York City Love story by bunnymaccool (Shrunkyclunks | 14K | Teen)

Sugar Baby Love by roe87 ( Shrunkyclunks, ABO | 117K | Explicit)

The Voyager by notlucy (Shrunkyclunks, Post-Avengers | 76K | Explicit)

The Roommate by layersofart (layersofsilence), Niitza (Shrunkyclunks, Veteran Bucky | 28K | Teen)

Relationship Goals: Have a Relationship by cleo4u2, xantissa (Shrunkyclunks, wrong number | 21K | Explicit)

Just Dropkick The Shame by rohkeutta (Shrunkyclunks | 8K | Explicit)

A Midsummer Knight's Dream by cobaltmoony, GoldBlooded (ABO Fantasy AU | 29K | Explicit)

Sunshine's Gifts by Quarra, wearing_tearing (Fae Bucky, Cap Steve | 52K | Explicit)

In Hydra, Vine Do You by Quarra (Tentacles | 27K | Explicit)

Sorry, Not Sorry by DrowningByDegrees-Art (DrowningByDegrees), SoftObsidian74, The_She_Devil (Shrunkyclunks, Veteran Bucky | 51K | Explicit)

Burnin' For You by GoldBlooded (Modern AU, Firefighter!Steve, Policeman!Bucky |15K | Explicit)

The Department of Special Collections by alby_mangroves, Speranza (OC POV, Post-WS | 4,8K | Teen)

Demonique by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves) (Tentacles, TFA | 39K | Explicit)

Uncertainty of the Law by mambo (Modern AU, Lawyer!Bucky, Artist!Steve | 26K | Mature)

A Marriage of Ice and Fire by alby_mangroves, Mystrana (GOT AU | 75K | Explicit)

Full Metal Sasquatch by newsbypostcard (canon-divergent, Bucky!Cap | 20K | Mature) 

Lessons in Normality by relenafanel (Shunkyclunks, Honeypot | 38K | Explicit)

Luck of the Irish Stroll by GoldBlooded (Modern AU | 8K | Explicit)

Alpha Services by roe87 (ABO AU | 18K | Mature)

A Memory Like a Haunting by cobaltmoony, DarkCaustic (Time Travel | 28K | Explicit) 

Ready to Comply by exclamation (Post-WS | 66K | Explicit)

where the leaves fall not by dudewhereismypie, obsessivereader (Canon-divergent, Elf!Bucky | 23K | Explicit)

The Grace of the Fire and the Flames by chicklette, cobaltmoony (ABO Fantasy AU | 31K | Explicit)

Dragging Me Down by cleo4u2, cobaltmoony, xantissa (Post-WS | 93K | Explicit)

Salt & Sugar by GoldBlooded, stfustucky (iwillpaintasongforlou) (Modern AU, Chef!Steve&Bucky | 19K | Explicit)

However Much You Feed A Wolf, It Always Looks To The Forest by bloodbuzzedohio (Post-WS | 19K | Explicit)

some say it makes the world go round by mambo (Modern AU , Professor!Steve, Writer!Bucky | 23K | Teen)

We Could be Heroes (Me and You) by alby_mangroves, Chiyume (Shrinkyclinks, Post-WS, Sex worker!Steve | 90K | Explicit)

Roll Out the Red Carpet by Lorien, Quarra, talkplaylove-art (talkplaylove) (Modern AU, Actor!Steve, WS!Bucky | 29K | Explicit)

under a golden january sun by newsbypostcard (Post-BP | 17K | Mature)

First Impressions Aren't Everything by charlesdk (Modern AU | 14K | Teen)

Hearts Like Ours by FindingFrancis, wearing_tearing (Shrunkyclunks, Soulmates AU | 100K | Explicit)

hearts aflame by wearing_tearing (ABO AU | 7K | Explicit)

So, You've Adopted a Fruit by Nejinee (Post-WS | 17K | Explicit)

Endless War by Nonymos (Post-IW | 27K | Mature)

The New Guy by Venusdoom3 (Modern Office AU | 12K | Explicit)

(a silent prayer) Like Dreamers Do by chicklette (Shrunkyclunks Soulmate AU | 12K | Mature)

From Hydra with Love by insomnia1999 (James Bond AU | 21K | Mature)

A Hard Case of You by Chiyume (Modern AU, Lawyer!Bucky, Mechanic!Steve | 21K | Explicit)

It grew on me by Bear_shark, esaael (Shrunkyclunks, Barber!Bucky | 48K | Explicit)

Thank You For Calling by MarleyMortis, The_She_Devil (Shrunkyclunks | 42K | Explicit)

When Life is Not Coming Up Roses Look to the Weeds (and Find the Hidden Beauty) (Part 3 of Above the Rain and Roses Universe) by Kellyscams (Dom/Sub AU | 21K | Explicit)

How to Pet a Cactus by ColorCoated, TrishArgh (Post-WS | 17K | General)

In My Cold Arms by alby_mangroves, coldwinterrose (Eris13), maichan (Canon-divergent, post-Avengers, not WS compliant | 35K | Explicit)

La Belle et la Bête by lecroixss, maichan, sianimations (Beauty and the Beast AU | 66K | Explicit)

Freshwater Memories by superheroresin (Magical Realism | 50K | Explicit)

a line that goes all the way by napricot (post-BP | 45K | Explicit)

And The Horse You Rode In On by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves) (Hate to Love, Soulmate AU | 14K | Explicit)

Home of the Brave by MonocerosRex (Post-WS, Kid fic | 35K | Teen)

Grapes and Grenadine by Marcella-ella (MarcellaBianca), MarcellaBianca (Modern AU, Enemies to Lovers | 16K | Mature)

So I Took a Faithful Leap by odetteandodile (Post-TFA, canon divergent | 19K | Teen)

I'm not where I'm supposed to be, (I hope that you're missing me) by Squeaky (Soulmate AU | 17K | Teen)

Art Thief, Heart Thief by odetteandodile (Modern AU, FBI agent!Steve | 58K | Mature)

Tentacle Things I Like About You! by LadyAngelique, Mystrana (Tentacles, 17K | Explicit)

The Hunt (Part 1 of You Are Responsible For What You Tame) by BlueSimplicity (Post-WS | 18K | Teen)

Save a Horse, Ride a Captain by galwednesday (Shrunkyclunks | 2,7K | Teen)

Consumer Affairs by galwednesday (OC POV | 1K | Teen)

How to Meet Cute by boopboop (Modern Soulmate AU | 1,7K | Teen)

The Twilight Bark (And Other Things Bucky Has To Deal With On A Daily Basis) by spacebuck (Shrunkyclunks | 36K | Explicit)

Boulangerie by onymousann (ABO | 74K | Explicit | TW: Rape)

How Buzzfeed Helped Bucky Barnes Get A Boyfriend by nickel710 (Shrunkyclunks | 40K | Mature)

The Taming by BlueSimplicity (Post-WS | 105K | Mature)

The Sweetest Spark by deadto27 (Sugar Daddy AU (kinda) | 73K | Explicit)

Feast On This by GoldBlooded (Fake Relationship AU | 11K | Explicit)

~ ~ ~ 

2018 fics on my “To Read” list

The Restoration Artist by superheroresin (Time Travel |109K | Explicit)

Brothers by bloodbuzzedohio (Memoirs | 55K | Explicit)

From Beta to Worse by ColorCoated (ABO AU | 31K, 8/? | Explicit )

While You Were Sleeping by Brenda (Post-CW | 46K | Mature)

Dreamers With Empty Hands (Part 1 of The Hundred Year Playlist) by girlbookwrm (Pre-TFA | 41K | Teen)

when the chips are down by brideofquiet (Modern AU, Crime | 53K | Explicit)

lucida, obscura by Chiyume, gwyneth rhys (gwyneth) (TFA | 20K | Mature)

[ft-ca]

so. its been a while

since i’ve wanted to actually write about something here. ive been working on some personal stuff, working on myself. and thats been going well. ive been documenting that whole process in my journal because it feels...sacred and intimate and i want to keep it to myself for a while.

anyway. today i was bit by a dog on the way home. on my bike. i commute by bicycle and train. bike to the train station, get on the train, bike to the hospital. then reverse on the way home. part of my route from my house to the train station is a creek trail. no cars. just pedestrians and bikes. and dogs. usually leashed. this part of the trail goes under a highway and theres an underpass. i think dozens of homeless people live along this little creek trail. ive been biking this route almost everyday for almost 2 years. nothing bad has happened to me. until today. so. today. just had daylight savings. it was still light out as i was going home. i’m on this creek trail. i see an older lady pushing a cart or something. theres 3 little dogs all off leash just running. i slow down. i dont want to run over these dogs. i have a dog. his name is buddha. i love him. but i slow down instead of speed up (which is what i wouldve done had it been dark) and that was a fucking mistake. this little beige little chihuahua like thing runs next to me. then leaps and takes a fucking chonk off my leg. or tries to. it fucking hurts. i was so incredulous that this freaking really happened, it takes me like 5 seconds to process this. then i fucking turn my head and scream at this lady to leash her dogs. i dont like screaming at people. i cant remember the last time i screamed like that. like a guttural yell. but i was so fucking mad and my leg hurt. and i get home and the first thing i do is unzip the calf part of my pant to check if it broke skin. it didnt. im a little less mad. but its bruised and i’m definitely bleeding internally. it still hurts now. i walk in my house and my roommates there and i fucking had to tell her or someone, i was so mad. she asked me if i was going to call the police. i hadnt thought of that. i think its reasonable. that it should be reported and that these dogs should not be unleashed if they are going to fucking bite people. you know? so i call the police station and get transferred to animal services and i tell the nice lady what happened. i do this while walking buddha. and i feel better. later i wonder if it was an unreasonable and overly emotional reaction, versus a thought out response. i think it was relatively reasonable? 

the part of it that i want to talk about is, though, what i feel for this lady. and i’m almost 90% certain shes homeless. and i wonder what i would do if i found myself homeless. if i didnt have this privilege that i have. and thats what it is. i just happened to be born to 2 people who were...financially stable. but what if i hadnt been born into this situation? everyday i bike this trail and look at the trash that piles up and the abandoned carts and the beer bottles, and i wonder if I would make it as a homeless person. and i honestly dont think so. i mean. ive wanted to die since...some point in college. and i seriously contemplate killing myself every time i have my head deaths. i have all these things in my life, 2 loving parents, 1 loving brother. i have a house and a dog and a job and benefits and a car. and i still had to get a symbol of hope tattooed on my body to remember to have hope. where could i find any hope as a homeless person. certainly not in a biker yelling at you. and i 1000000% understand why homeless people have dogs. in a world that dehumanizes homeless people. the only source of feeling human and feeling seen and known lies in a k9 friend. unconditional love. i understand it. i completely and deeply understand it. but for the love of god, i will buy a leash for you. please. sigh. 

the worst part is when i’ve gotten off the phone with animal services and starting thinking about my fury. how i want to bash that dogs head in. how i want to walk back there with buddha on a long lead and have him hunt this little rat down. this is the worst part. and i tell myself im just angry and when i’m angry i want to bash something/anything in. and i would honestly and truly kill myself if i used buddha, a pit bull, to fight another dog, and perpetuate the stereotype and discrimination of pit bulls. 

and now i’m just sad that there are people without homes. and that they have dogs because they have no other sources of love that come without conditions. how lonely and isolating it must be. with everyone either passing you as if you dont exist. or yelling at you. i’m just. i’m sorry. i’m sorry for screaming. and i really would love to not be bitten by a dog ever again. 

[galimatios]

sci-fi au again but it’s some bastardized blame au feat. my twins

thinking about a bastardized blame au that borrows the setting of blame but with some minor differences, aka humans weren't dead for as long and silicon lifeforms are part of a disease that turns pure humans into half synthetic life, aka go feral go crazy some retain intellect tho, and pure silicon creatures are fully sentient and intelligent but im thinking of a society in which android labor was widespread, but bc humans were wiped by silicon corruption, there's huge populations of androids w/o purpose humans do still exist but they're not pure, most of them have varying levels of silicon corruption as well as varying resistances. it does grant these humans superhuman strength or healing though i kind of. wanna put rey and ray as twins in this au as bounty hunters aka humans who hunt down corrupted humans who've gone too far... but they also do odd delivery jobs and stuff likelihood is that they've been alive for Way longer than humans should be due to their own corruption they remember what life was like before things went to shit ray owned a restaurant and rey owned the bar on top of it as siblings they went thru hell together and back and this was their dream and. well. then shit changed but also aesthetic bc: rey with short hair, tank top, sci-fi ass gear and army boots she's also the Slightly Older twin and holds this to ray all the time they argue. Nonstop. sometimes they cant stand eachother bc dumbasses both have strong aggressive personalities but (and ive been thinking abt rey w a sibling for a while) at the end of the day they trust eachother bc they both had the same shitty mom and survived. they can do anything, they're Them? but the scourge... well. they're always upbeat. they have eachother after all, but sometimes when they're alone, ray gets nostalgic. a little wistful, a little sad "it was nice while it lasted, huh? not even a full ass decade, and everything came tumbling down." legs hanging off a ledge, the smell of cigarette smoke "wonder how dom's doing." rey doesn't want to talk about her. she steals the cig from his mouth and puts it out. "that shit ain't good for you." "the fuck? you smoke too you know." but rey's already leaving. neither of them know if dom survived. ray lost a best friend, rey lost a lover it's been two hundred years, maybe more. if she hadn't shown up, dead or alive, she's probably gone but the thing is, the megastructure is huge. so vastly huge and confusing, anything can happen. ray thinks one day she'll show up. dom is tough. she's out there somewhere. (END PROSE) also i just love the idea of rey being a heavy firearm user and she just has a huge laser cannon strapped to her back at all times ray thinks weird flex but ok he probably uses a device that resembles some sci-fi spear/rapier thing but it channels electricity so on his command he can roast shit and also override / destroy power structures as needed. both of them have mechanical skills, can hotwire stuff, they're too dumb for hacking so they usually just try to physically brute force shit (aka... hitting it until it works) ray... leather jacket and gloves. NOTED THO: organic materials are really rare and are either salvaged or synthetically created instead. so this is like fake ass bioengineered leather from one of the few bastions of semi-human life, a big city within the megastructure that's where rey and ray live... they actually do want to start a restaurant again but. i think they've sworn off it until they find out what happened to dom, bc she's the only person they've ever trusted with their dream so until then, bounty work ok wow i kind of love ray w a fucking. black electric rapier spike thing + black gloves and black jacket, leather fucking pants, DANGER BOY!!! then rey loves firearms but sometimes she JUST PUNCHES SHIT. SHE'S STRONG!!! fingerless gloves for the girl. cries I love my redheads

KEITH PROBABLY. WOULD BE A TRAINEE BOUNTY HUNTER/SCOUT AND PROBABLY HAS A MASSIVE CRUSH ON RAY LMFAO. ray is like lmfao (puts hand on head) u are So Short keith: kkkdjdjsjhdhdhfnfbfbfjgjfjfj rey voice god you have bad taste keith follows ray around like a puppy who wants to be helpful and ray doesnt particularly mind as long as he doesnt get in the way. but its like. this video (youtu.be/TJAqwSmbKJc)

SORRY KEITH HE LIKES HUNKS AND TWUNKS BUT UR TWINKISH TWUNK AT BEST but ray has a soft spot for him once keith proves he's actually super capable at his job puppy gets head pats god i wanna stick all my ocs in this au now jonah would be s service android who used to work for a family he really cherished but they were wiped out. so now he just. kind of drifts. AI technology is self learning so i believe at this point androids have largely gained sentience and semihumans treat them like one of them alister.... heh. fuck. i really want him to be an antagonist actually but a kind of misunderstood one. he's definitely the root of everything. he is probably the progenitor of the scourge and is a human mind implanted into a fully silicon body. who KNOWS how old he is in actuality he was a sick, dying child whose experimental treatment went horribly wrong but this silicon body is stronger, faster, better. he feels no pain anymore. he can walk and run. but he's also immortal. and he can't be with humans bc contact with him is toxic humans with weak resistances died immediately once the plague started. so all the humans left are those who resisted full corruption they went after the source of the plague, intending to kill to stop its spread but even when they did get to alister, they couldnt kill him and boy they tried! took him into labs and did horrible things! some succumbed to the plague from overexposure to him but nothing seemed to stop Alister decided he had enough, killed everyone in a haze, left, then decided to make silicon lifeforms he was lonely! all of them are precious to him and every time a hunter kills one, he mourns semihumans who become fully or mostly corrupted he considers part of his family too GOD I COULD MAKE AND PORT SO MANY OCS cade is about 60-70% corrupted. he's definitely in alister's ranks i gotta think tho bc i do want one pure human with the net terminal gene. probably hidden somewhere in one of those cryosomething freeze tanks idk if i have an oc pure enough to fit the role i gotta check my roster TO EXPLAIN THIS. you need the gene to access the netsphere the netsphere is like an evolved form of the internet that's sort of like heaven and also controls some things in base reality, like the robots that are in charge of automated construction of new structures- these have gone haywire which led to uncontrolled growth this is just canon material but my addition is that once alister went full silicon, he also unintentionally became connected to the netsphere without any real authority to do anything, but the system still detected a breach and it locked Everyone out after alister infected them originally only those of pure genetic pedigrees possessed the net gene haha i love caste systems but now they're all fucking Dead. i imagine life wasn't GREAT before the scourge but it was better than a semi-post-post scarcity environment where some places are uninhabitable so you have silicon life out hunting humans to protect alister, or just for territory, and security systems that have been tripped and now safeguards are running around killing everything that moves safeguards are like antivirus programs but like. in base reality

GOD ALISTER GROWN UP BUT LIKE EVIL AESTHETIC. ALL BLACK EVERYTHING. he definitely has morphing skills, he can connect himself to technology and easily control it bc hes not organic, innocent boy is now twisted and sitting on his throne of black, corrupted human bones truthfully though alister just... wants to successfully turn more humans into silicon so he can make friends and be happy it's sad that they don't usually survive. hundreds of years of loneliness dulled his moral compass the silicon close to him feel like they're not enough they are hideous but fully sentient and intelligent with the same emotions as humans but ig to alister it's not the same. he still loves them but. he truly was human in the past in the end silicon can't truly replace flesh alex... is a high level safeguard with sentience unlike the low level automated ones that attack everything fuck ALEX OF ALL MY OCS TAKES THE PLACE OF KILLY IN CANON THE FUCK he'd probably operate differently tho. way more compassion

"once i find the net terminal gene, most likely the system will begin to purge all impurities. any and all corrupted will likely die. ... but i see no reason to shorten the life of a man already dead." this includes the humans with resistances. people like rey, ray, keith all resistant humans are <50% corrupted. they cannot be allowed to live bc there is a chance exposure to toxic materials or alister will continue the process but i think alex would change his mind and try to find a way to cure it using the net terminal gene he makes friends with the bounty hunting group, aka keith and the twins... and eventually they will find dom and. oh god what if dom is 80+ percent corrupted what if they have to put her down I AM MAKING MYSELF UPSET

BUT FUCK IT WPULD BE A GOOD CATALYST FOR ALEX TO CHANGE HIS MIND ABOUT LETTING ALL THE CORRUPTED DIE AHHHHH also alex in an all black suit with a little cyan neck ribbon I LOVE MY OCS SORRY I ALSO LOVE BLAME AND SCIFI FUCK ME UP anyway i think im done for now but ughghfjgh im thinking about this for days

[cinvhetinordo]

Hunt on Ossus

[22:29]  The Mandalorian bounty hunter finally made it to the hotel where Nicci had been staying, drunk every so often apparently. Soron looked around, and upon noting that she was the only presence, opted to do something he very, very rarely did. He weakened his helmet's seal, unlatched it, and removed the technological marvel. He held it in his hands, revealing a pale white face -- likely born on Mandalore -- covered by short but uncared for facial hair, a fair bruise across the cheek, and slight skin across his chin.

[22:30]  "Su'cuy, vod'ika." He said.

[22:35] Nicci Ordo did not have her own helmet on because she had been drinking water like a fish.  She was so dry mouthed from consuming half the bar the night before, that she felt she would never be satisfied again.  However, she was eventually, and had been busy draining water when he walked in.  She had already seen him with his helmet off once, but it was when she had knocked it off.  "Su'cuy," she said simply.  He had not been seen in a while, and she found this mildly irritating.

[22:43]  The Mandalorian's scratched lips quirked into a faint smile in response to her greeting. His maroon eyes met her green orbs, "Tug'yc, ni ceta." he began with a somewhat earnest apology, "Other than offering you the chance to hunt a Jedi sorcerer with me instead, given that the Sith seem to be holed up in their Citadel in the Upper City, I'd like to offer you a gift to make up for my... lone operation." he said, walking over to the couch to drop his helmet onto it. He reached behind him, into his Z-6 jetpack, and grabbed a bottle out of hard liquor, "Vintage Corellian whiskey. Four thousand credits -- rare but delicious, they say." his unfiltered voice said, "I don't drink often, but... something makes me think you're the right person to drink with. I propose we down a few glasses now, and then a few on our hyperspace journey to the Jedi's homeworld."

[22:50] Nicci Ordo's eyebrow raised a little at his somewhat groveling apology, unsure what to really say to it.  When he pulled out the whiskey she almost groaned.  She had just spent all the night before drinking and only had just now gotten her body back to normal.  Her drink of choice was typically ne'tra gal.  She had never even had Corellian whiskey before.  She considered turning it down, but inwardly figured kriff it and walked over to him.  "I drink often.  But, being as how you do not, you sure your body is prepared for that just before you go hunt something?" she smirked a little.

[22:57]  "Oh please, I'll sweat it out. I'm a Mandalorian, handling hard liquor is in my blood." Soron replied with a mild smirk as he opened the bottle up, bringing it closer to his nose to take in the scent briefly, "Besides, I'm very familiar with this sort of alcohol. It's my favorite. Vweilu nuts give this a woody, spicy flavor that's similar to the scent of Caamsi." he spoke, clearly versed in what he was consuming. He brought it up to his lips, but just before the bottle touched them he hesitated, and offered it to her, "Here. Go for it first, vod'ika."

[23:08] Nicci Ordo's eyebrow raised a little more at being addressed as vod'ika so familiarly a second time.  She had been under the impression this one hated Ordos for the most part. She still looked at him somewhat suspiciously as she raised the bottle to her lips and drank from it. It was quite smoother than she expected.  She took another, slightly longer drink and passed it back.  "So...what is the occasion exactly?  Nothing to spend your money on?"

[23:18] Soron accepted the bottle back, allowing a brief chuckle to escape his lips, "Hah. Nayc, on the contrary, I hit a big enough payout to warrant celebratory expenses. I managed the capture of Mandalorian self-exile Gryff McCallen. The Fel Empire presiding over Mos Eisley paid out the bounty for bringing in the criminal warlord, and I accompanied one of their squads to Yavin IV, where the prisoner was transferred to the YSF and the local Jedi order for further questioning by GFFR forces." he explained, "I'll be splitting the five hundred thousand credits amongst the branch of Journeyman Protectors that operate on Mandalore, us few who are first and foremost royal guards to Mand'alor when we have one. But that's only four of us elite warriors, so I get plenty to spend my reward on. A little fun with a fellow warrior is certainly a worthwhile expense." he said, before raising the bottle her way and finally taking a swig. His gulps were big, but concentrated. He allowed the smooth alcohol to wash down his throat, and licked over his lips before passing the bottle.

[23:23] Nicci Ordo just found herself smirking at him. "Well I guess that makes up for leaving me here for two days while you ran off to go make more money clearly," she winked at him a little, accepting the offered bottle again, and took a much longer drink than before.  She had held back out of politeness.  A 4000c bottle of alcohol was nothing to just chug when sharing with someone.  But when she heard how much he had made, she figured why not.  "Well honored that it should be me then.  I would think your Alor would be someone you would rather spend your time with." she speculated.

[23:34]  "Ner alor was on a contract for the Republic military. He's relayed coordinates and naval tactics to me -- I'll be extending the work opportunity to the Protectors and other Mandalorian mercenaries willing to assist. We'll be taking part in a starship-boarding strike of the Hapes fleet, I believe." Soron recalled job specifics, his eyes wandering as if searching for the information in the distance. He eventually shook his head, "But I won't bore you with work, vod'ika, I know you prefer to... 'fight for your own people.' Oya." he offered his cheers and raised the bottle her way, taking another solid swig, this time even grander. Oof, they had just about finished up about a quarter if not a third of the bottle, these crazy Mandalorians! And the bottle was actually 8000c, but Soron didn't like to flex too much, "But I... I'm still sorry for somewhat abandoning you. Like I said, I'll make it up to you by being with you every minute of this Jedi hunt." he said, offering that rare half-hearted smile of his, "Speaking of which, you have your ship on-world? I ordered the Kom'rk-class pilot to head back to Mandalorian space."

[23:35]  The Mandalorian did, of course, hold out the bottle again, to see if she'd take more of the delicious liquid.

[23:38] Nicci Ordo did indeed take more of it, taking another drink before she answered.  Her cheeks were blushed red from the alcohol, feeling the effects quite prominently now. "Well of course my ship is here.  It isn't like I would send it on auto pilot to go flying in a joy ride while I sat here." she replied.  "You don't expect me to actually pilot it now though do you?" she laughed, and hiccuped sharply, before passing the bottle back.  She was pleased he respected her views enough to mention them without condescension.  She made note to return the favor in the future.

[23:44] Soron took the bottle back, his eyes running over it, studying how much they'd drank. He smirked and decided that, because he usually practiced continence with alcoholic beverages, that he'd take the extra, last sip. It wasn't as big as his other two, but it certainly made him wrinkle his forehead and nose momentarily. He spoke whilst heading back to the couch and replacing the cap, his own cheeks and chin blushed, though trajectory seemingly stable. He was tipsy, joyful, "I did, but I suppose it's best to be sober. I can recall the pilot before he gets too far?" he proposed, turning her way with inquisitive eyes and a quirk of the side of his mouth, in a trusting manner. He was searching for her opinion -- he didn't care for many a Mandalorian's opinion.

[23:51] Nicci Ordo nodded, "That would be the responsible thing.  Either of us could enter in wrong coordinates and send us straight into a star or something else unpleasant.  I want to go out with a bang but not over something silly." she found herself smiling at him.  She never smiled.  Like, ever.  Like literally never ever.  It wasn't just rare, it was never!  She frowned as he replaced the cap.  She wanted more of that.  But was probably best she remained on-the-verge of drunk instead of fully so.  Her face was just warm and that was all, though she was considerably loosened up from her usual harsh-self.  "So where are we going?"

[00:02]  "Well, as great as a beach on Zeltros sounds right now, I'd say after the potential Jedi on my list." Soron said without a slur, though with an odd sense of happiness. His eyes still fixated upon the other, he let his smile grow, rolling his shoulders backwards twice in an almost-giddy fashion, "My tracking's leading me to Ossus. I'll get the pilot to return. We'll set up a tent on-world to work out of. Let's... drink on the way, we're celebrating after all." he said, before stuffing the whiskey into a jetpack compartment. He tapped buttons upon his forearm gauntlet, likely to reach the pilot to signal for a return.

[00:06] Nicci Ordo scowled.  Beaches sounded rather horrible to her.  Sand.  Ew.  "I know we are going after the Jedi, my question was what planet!" she rolled her eyes.  But he mentioned Ossus which answered her anyway.  She wholeheartedly concurred with drinking on the way there.  "Might as well, neither of us are driving.  Never been to Ossus before." she mused. She actually really liked travelling to different worlds.

[00:09] Soron exhaled a quiet snort, before turning to grab up his helmet. He strengthened and latched his seal, placing the helmet over his head again, "Then let's get going. We'll enjoy the bottle on the way, hopefully we'll still have what it takes to set up a temporary camp for us on Ossus. I reckon we can handle our alcohol." his filtered voice came through, before he started on his way towards the door.

[00:12] Nicci Ordo nodded, walking to the bed and grabbing her own helmet, and her repeater.  she put the helmet on her head and it sealed similarly, and swung the repeater on her shoulder.  She walked over to the droid and slapped it, which "woke" it up of sorts, and it moved to follow her.  "Lead on then.  No idea what your ship looks like."

*HYPERSPACE TRAVEL TO OSSUS*

[00:23]  The duo of Mandalorians were picked up by the Kom'rk-class fighter piloted by a Journeyman Protector, likely one from the Concord Dawn or Concordia branch given the vessel. The dropship's underbelly opened and lowered the two's seats, permitting them a jetpack-assisted exit. By then they'd have drank the entirety of the bottle, so they'd certainly be at least tipsy. Jetpacking in formation would have been laughably impossible, and the two's landing in the woods, especially with all the camp/tent gear they'd have to carry, might have been a tad wobbly.

[00:31] Nicci Ordo jumped free of the craft, igniting her jetpack when she was about halfway down, landing rather ungracefully tripped up by a root until her back was against one of the trees.  She stamped out the fire quickly before it became a national hazard, and looked about to see if she was anywhere near Soron, since as he had said, jetpacking in formation would have been impossible.

[00:34] Soron was naturally quite masterful at jetpack maneuverability, but his somewhat intoxicated state messed with his mental speed. He lost balance, though held onto the bag, and opted for a rough landing, during which he was forced into a series of side-ways rolls before coming to a stop not too far ahead of Nicci. He'd throw the bag with the tent aside, and force himself onto a knee, grunting, "Nrrgghhh. /That/ was fun." he buzzed sarcastically, unable to lose his good mood. Alcohol does that, he figured.

[00:39] Nicci Ordo moved a branch full of leaves out of the way of her visor and spotted him.  She cracked a few of her joints and moved toward where he had landed, looking at the bag he tossed aside.  "Hopefully the tent is still intact.  Maybe we should have waited to finish that bottle after we got down here." she considered for a moment.  "Arent the jedi going to use their weird voodoo osik to sense us coming or whatever?" she asked.  She didn't trust force users as far as she could throw them.

[00:45] Soron laughed genuinely as he semi-crawled along the ground, dragging his sole knee along the muddy grass. "Hahahahah. I'm sure our oh-so-inconspicuous landing drew more attention than any space magic they have could." he buzzed humorously, before glancing at the bag, "The tent will be fine. We're on-world alive and totally, totally, /tota/--hahah--lly prepped. Here, help me set it up." he buzzed, deciding to shift over to it and begin opening it up. He tapped the side of his helmet briefly, too, to order the pilot to head back to Mandalorian space, for good now. Drunk boss, totally. This was rare.

[00:48] Nicci Ordo grunted through her helmet.  "Well then maybe we should have at least brought a second bottle so we can drink more after the tent is pitched," she contemplated, "Something less expensive though, that bottle was good but I don't know if it was THAT good," she said, waiting for him to open the bag up and toss her an end so she could secure it.  "Shouldn't the pilot hang around a bit closer, in case every Jedi here heard our landing and decides we aren't welcome?" she asked.  Though Mandalorian space was reasonably close to Ossus.  She thought anyway.

[00:52] Soron shook his head as the Gauntlet starfighter sped through the atmosphere, breaking out of orbit eventually and heading to a different system entirely, "Nayc, higher numbers increase the chances we'll get spotted. The Jedi aren't pro-actively anticipating visitors, so... we'll like... Nicci, just... just don't worry. We have what it takes, vod'ika, heheheh." he buzzed, pulling out the single tent out of the bag. He threw her one side, and began securing the other.

[00:54] Nicci Ordo took the end, and there seemed to be very little fabric there so she actually tried for several minutes to unfold the thing, as if she were expecting the tent to be a lot bigger than what was in her hand.  After several attempts at trying to peel away the fabric, she looked up at him slowly. "Uh...Soron..." she began...pausing.

[00:58] Soron 's muscle memory and heavily-affected hand-eye coordination by all means worked against each other, but he just about managed to set up one side of the tent, raising its height. He'd raised himself to his soldier boots, and so walked around to Nicci and got onto a knee beside her, "Olar, ni gaa'taylir." he buzzed, proceeding to do just that -- help her unfold the fabric, "Haa'taylir?"

[01:02] Nicci Ordo noticed the tent did not unfold anymore than what was in her hand, and just stood there silent a moment, a long, awkward moment.  "I...um....did...you brought another tent right?" she asked.  Surely he could not mean for them both to cram into this thing.  There was no way they would even fit with her armor and weapons on, which she naturally slept with always.  "Riiiight?"

[01:05] Soron 's visor focused on Nicci for a long moment. Then it glanced at the tent shortly, and then Nicci again. His blinks of confusion were hidden behind his helmet, but eventually he huffed past the vox, ".. Fuck." and fell to his side, exhaling a deep breath, "Fuuuck. Nayc." he groaned, "I only carry mine on the field. Fuck, I thought you'd have one somewhere amongst your skulls or somethin'... blrrgh." yeah, alcohol totally impeded their planning.

[01:09] Nicci Ordo just looked at him incredulously, "Among my skulls?  Really vod?  Where in the kriff would a whole tent fit among the skulls?" she asked.  "Though you did just give me an idea of what to use to pour rum in next time," she admitted.  "It is not really an issue.  I can sleep against the tree I crashed into.  If it is sturdy enough to hold me slamming into it then leaning against it to sleep should be no problem..." she trailed off.

[01:11]  "Nayc, nayc, nayc. I wouldn't discomfort you like that, vod'ika." Soron buzzed, shaking his head and forcing himself onto his knees, "Go ahead, try to get in. We might have to squeeze, but I reckon we can fit." the drunk him proposed a risk.

[01:19] Nicci Ordo just stood there for a moment.  She considered telling him that she had slept on much worse things than a tree, but she was so taken aback by him proposing they squeeze in there together, she was just silent for a minute.  Her face was as red as her hair under her helmet.  She decided to just not say anything, least her voice betray what she was thinking.  She at least took the repeater off and lay it against the tree, before climbing in to the tent.  She damn near filled it up with just herself already.  Her armor was not only massive, but her body was curvy enough to make it a really tight fit for literally anything else.

[01:24] Soron climbed in after her, his plating bumping against hers. He'd struggle in the limited space, before he essentially ended up pressing up against Nicci's back. He fiddled with her jetpack to try unlatch and de-magnetize it, before shoving it /just/ outside of the still-open tent, along with his own Z-6. It'd be then that he'd bump his armored forehead against the back of her head, cursing, "Blast it." before removing the helmet and placing it by the jetpack just beyond the open flap to the tent, "That seems... better. Not too tight?" his unfiltered voice asked.

[01:27] Nicci Ordo was not at all better, and her beskad hilts would definitely have been sticking into his back pretty hard.  She reached her hand behind her and unbuckled them, putting them near her head at the tent opening.  He would now be bumping his head against her armored head though, which probably wouldn't feel too good.  For some reason she was hesitant to remove her helmet now though. "Um....this is tight as kriff if I'm being honest," she grunted, laughing a little.

[01:31]  "Staaaaabi <Riiiiight>." Soron huffed, semi-awkwardly and at the same time tiredly. He'd shifted uncomfortably to give her at least some room to remove the blades, and once settled with their plates basically pressed up against each other, he'd rest his head against the ground of the tent, tiredly, "But low-key too tired to move." he mumbled honestly, cracking a short chuckle, "Hahah."

[01:38] Nicci Ordo pretty much slid down the slope right to the edge of the tent, and used that as an almost hammock-like pillow, still feeling massively awkward and was beginning to wonder how she let this man talk her into hunting people in the first place.  In fact she pretty much questioned everything ever right then, and was wide awake for the moment.  She just stood staring through her visor at the grey canvas, shifting about uneasily but trying not to disturb him as he was clearly tired.  "It will be...uh...fine..."

[01:43]  "So.. *yawwwn* ... so long as you're sure, vod'ika. Rest.. rest is important for any warrior, gives us the energy to fight." Soron mumbled a notion he was taught. Eventually, he leaned his head forwards tiredly, his fleshy and slightly bruised forehead pressing up against the back of her helmet.

[01:46] Nicci Ordo just nodded in response but didn't say anything else.  She just sat there, awkwardly, like someone that just had a kitten lay on them and had no idea what to do.  She didn't move, but lay there rather stiffly, her visor fogging up from the exhaust being pushed back in from venting against the canvas.  She probably, wasn't going to be resting much.

[01:50] Soron was having the absolute opposite experience. Given that he was by all means susceptible to alcohol as he drank it ever-so-rarely, the Mandalorian was giddy and light-headed, which led to general tiredness. In his tiredness, as he was slowly but surely, and by all means naturally, losing consciousness, he mumbled, "Udesiir, vod'ika. Nuhoyir.." he mumbled finally. Ha gloved hand, as opposed to being awkwardly placed, opted to shift to lay quietly upon the side of her thigh plate as he was likely slowly dozing off.

[01:56] Nicci Ordo did NOT relax.  In fact when his gloved hand rested on her thigh she got even more unrelaxed.  She hadn't been this close to another person unless it was in a fight, in,  decades!  Actual decades!  There was an unusual feeling of warm fuzzies, weird fluttering things in her stomach, and extreme social anxiety within her that just had no idea how to even remotely process this.  She wanted to slice the tent open in front of her and roll out of it, and run for the tree.  This woman who would face any enemy no matter how intimidating was paralyzed completely.  She simply didn't move, squeezed her eyes closed, and started whispering the resol'nare.

[02:05] Soron 's keen ears caught onto the whispers, and in his sleep he too recounted the rhyme that was ingrained into him at birth, silently mumbling it subconsciously, "Ba'jur... bal beskar'gam... ara'nov... aliit... Mando'ad.... bal Mand'alor.... An ven-...-cuyan mhi."

[isaacathom]

i figured out a plot point. see like, Rhia being in team whatsit, at face value, makes no fucking sense. she openly dislikes the group, she’s a bit lone-wolfy, the only benefit is that shes efficient and she supports part of their goal (the whole Fuck the Pokemon League thing)

but heres an idea. see, the thing with Rhia is, she’s legally a weird entity. cause like, after the raid thing, she as a person disappeared and Rhia emerged, out of some possibly misguided and immature desire to Never Fucking See Elliot Again. see, Rhia was convinced (rightly) that after a while Elliot would try to find her. He’d spin guilt, he’d wax philosophical, he’d try to convince her that he hadn’t done anything wrong when he left her in the base. so Rhia’s solution is to, as a person, disappear. hence being called Rhia. this is tough to separate because idk what her name was prior, but we’ll say it was Ebony. So, after the raid, Ebony disappears, though this is not known to anyone other than Elliot and it takes a while for the police to notice that this orphan hasn’t been seen in months.

Ebony vanishes, and Elliot hunts that empty trail. in her place is Rhia, a person who has no obvious connection to Ebony beyond vague aesthetics, which with time diminish (also she dyed her hair soooooo yknow)

but the thing is, Rhia needs to legally exist, which she doesn’t, in order to try and live a normal life. The Doctor and his family come up with the long ruse, that she’s the daughter of the Doc’s wife’s sister’s husband from a previous marriage. since that family (the Stantons, we’ll call them) live in Unova, noone can really confirm or deny that this is the case. Rhia simply is Mr Stanton’s daughter from one of his previous marriages, which can help to explain physical differences (takes after her mum) and again, just makes the whole explanation easier. but, yknow...... she still doesn’t exist.

THATS where team whatsit come in! theyre essentially a mafia, and the cover group is all about community protection. it makes sense that they could pull some strings and get a unovan contact to create identity papers for Rhia that can then be used to apply for [Region we’re in] Citizenship, allowing her to go to school and all that Funky Business. this does mean, however, that either the Doc or Rhia owes team whatsit a favour. a BIG favour. shits fucking difficult, yo. Unovan contacts are hard to come by.

as the Doc is already in team whatsit, as one of its admins, it falls to Rhia to ‘make up for the investment’. hence, when shes a lil older (bearing n mind that she as Ebony ceased to exist when she was like, 14) she joins team whatsit against her wishes because she is in their debt and she wants to repay it as quickly as possible so she can just exist. ofc, you dont ‘get out’ of a mafia, thats not how mafias work. but thats what she thinks, and thats what the Doc thinks too. both of them think that if she just does a good job, she’ll be allowed to just. exit. whoops. the Doc is a bit naive. he sorta has to be for his character to remotely work as a part of team whatsit.

but yea. Rhia’s in Team Whatsit because shes indebted to them for allowing her to live her life as Rhia Stanton, Unovan living in [Region]. of course, the ISSUE is that she doesn’t look or sound Unovan, unlike Mr Stanton. again, they probably explain it as the wife (the og Mrs Stanton) being from [Region], plus the fact that the current Mrs Stanton (remember, the Doc’s wife’s sister) is from [Region], and its like, yea, she’s really assimilated or whatever. PLUS, after they figured out the cover story, they actually did go and visit Unova (which was already planned and this just lined up) and Rhia was able to absorb some Unovan culture. she fucking loves it.

I chose Unova specifically because of the Battle Subway. i think Rhia would love it. since she’s disillusioned with the Pokemon League, she seeks alternatives. stuff like Battle Cafes and the Battle Maison. Pokemon Frontier, Pokeathlon even. when shes older (and when shes ‘free’ haha) she’d probably go on a lil world wide tour to all these alternative places of Elite Trainers and just go to fucking town. god she’d looooove it.

the fact she thinks she can ‘get out’ also serves to explain why she’s got as much influence as she does and essentially serves as a 4th admin (with Doc, CEO and Small Fry). because she’s trying hard to do the best job she can so she can get out quicker, repay her debt faster, yknow. you feel it? yea.

i just think this works better than my original idea, which was that Rhia was pestering the family about repaying them, and that the Doc blurted it out to the CEO who suggested she join Team Whatsit. because that’d require the CEO to be a nice person who would be approachable about family issues. which she isnt. the CEO is just sorta weird. i mean, Rhia probably WORKS for her, on the official, she’s an employee of the front company and she does the security shit. but it wouldnt make sense for the Doc to vent to CEO about his family issues and it doesn’t make sense for him to then agree to CEO’s idea that Rhia join team whatsit. i mean, in the end, it probably WAS CEO’s idea that Rhia join team whatsit, but in less of a ‘friendly recommendation between colleagues’ way and a more ‘someone has to pay the debt’ way, if you feel me there.

Also because im 90% sure that the Doc would never interact with CEO anyway???? he’s not an employee of the front company. they’ve nothing personally in common. CEO is sorta weird. they only interact professionally in Team Whatsit, and never outside. so. yknow...... yea. plus its probably safer if the major players (Doc CEO the leader guy and Small Fry) dont publicly associate anyway. to keep the authorities guessing. the authorities catch CEO, and nothing in anything she has would link to Doc, Leader or Small Fry. it’d link to Rhia through the company, and the authorities are likely to investigate all people in the company, but not everyone IN the company is in Team Whatsit. there are genuine workers in it. its just ran by Team Whatsit members and a lot of its personnel and volunteers are team whatsit. thats just how it works.

this works good, though. still need to work out what her original name was, though. (ive decided that Rhia as a name is completely unrelated to who she was before. like she just straight up reinvented herself. Rhia Stanton, Unovan born, [Region] raised.) it wont be Ebony, because while i like the name, id also like for every main character’s names to start with different letters. writing convention. so since i already named Elliot and wont rename him unless the ground gives way, she needs a different name. possibly one dripping with symbolism.