#anyway go listen to Koffee | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jyunshiim · 4 years ago

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𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗈𝗋𝗇; 𝗋𝖾𝗃𝖾𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗇𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗌𝗈 𝗀𝗈𝗈𝖽༆

TW: blood

Listen to: Moonrise by Day6 | 4am playlist

➪ You wait patiently. Quarter to 7am is when you leave your mellow apartment, that you rent out, to get to your university. It was a 1 long, boresome train ride to get to Seoul University; you studied incredibly hard just to pass the entrance exams so you were always determined to be on time and not miss a day. not even one. The sun was rising, setting the city aglow and despite just being past dawn, people were bustling around in the university already, grabbing coffee from the local cafe or a sweet treat they craved that morning from the nearby patisserie for their breakfast. Seoul was absolutely magical.

8:10am: You had an early Biology lecture that morning and you barely had time to grab something energising, not even an energy drink but it was common for you to miss breakfast for the first 3 hours. The air was light and comfortable enough to walk to classes. In summer, there were clusters of sweaty students scattered on the verdant greenery of the school making it very hard to walk through. The hallways were incommodious and it was impossible to walk through without feeling the heat and stickiness of everyone skin brushing against yours and the pungent aroma of sweat. The lecturer was already in the room and a few students were dispersed around waiting for the lecture to start.You went and sat at the seat you always sit at -since first year university -and you put your belongings down on the desk and got out your textbook, small white pencil case and your apricot coloured, spiral spined notebook which you just purchased last week. you clear your throat quietly and put a strand of you dark hair behind your ear before you scroll through your phone to pass the last 10 minutes of waiting time, replying to messages from your best friends.

Coffee club-

You had a group chat with your friends; Sicheng, Hanna, Minseo, and Xiaojun. Xiaojun always treated you so politely since you were kids.you both went to the same high school and you were always seen as a cutesy couple but you both weren’t, of course.You guys were close but never shared any romantic feelings for each other, at least you didn’t. They were talking about meeting at ‘Kangmin’s Koffee’ after University; The cafe had always been a place where you all hung out after uni and shared what happened in the day over coffee. Of course you’d say yes because you love your friends so much.

10:55am:

After university, you packed up your textbooks and walked out of the lecture room sighing at your study schedule. You would notice students waiting outside the room and one of them was familiar to you,perhpas because you’ve seen him around with Sicheng and his friend Yangyang – but never actually knew his name. You signed out swiftly and walked out of campus and took a right and to the dainty little cafe cafe adorned with pink blossoming flowers and wooden chairs and tables.The cafe was opposite this beautiful florist that captivated all the local people. The flowers were always fresh and almost had a nostalgic sense to it. you just wished someone would surprise you with a bouquet but that was impossible since you never had time for relationships. Sicheng scooted up next to Xiaojun and the waitress brough over the 5 coffees that they ordered before you came. “i know you like hazelnut coffee with extra ice so thats what i ordered you,” Xiaojun smiled playfully giving a gentle nudge. You took a sip of the coffee and indulged in the saccharine coffee, the flavours mingling with one another, the caffeine flowing through your bloodstream. It was heavenly to you and only Xiaojun knew you had such a sweet tooth.

“ew stop acting like a couple,” Minseo spoke in her soft gentle voice covering her eyes jokily.

“we are not dating!” you giggle and push him away and he sits and smiles at you endearingly.

“you both look like you wanna eat each others face,” Sicheng teases and jokes with Xiaojun and Xiaojun gets defensive.

“I DONT,” his cheeks flare up a blazing red. He gets flustered and you all laugh but you comfort him. The atmosphere was entrancing, the laughter of you and your friends echoing down the bustling streets and the last bit of warmth fading into horizon along with the sunshine. September was one of your favourite months for this exact reason. Xiaojun always walked you to the train station before vanishing as soon as you board and go on your way.

You walk into your dorm. The fragrant rose scented room invited you to your cosy apartment, the white fluffy rug between your toes making you feel as if you were on a cloud, the warm fair luminescent lights hung from the ceiling giving the room a relaxing atmosphere. You sigh and sink into your mattress curling up into a ball but the chime of your phone alerted you. As you looked down at the bright screen, you drag down to see the notification. Of course it was Xiaojun.

Xiaojun: hey, get home safe?

YN: yeah i got home okay, quicker than usual to be honest

Xiaojun: okay good! what you doing now?

YN: Probably going to make dinner now, how about you? you better not be playing games again and forgetting to eat:/ make sure you eat okay

you sounded like you care too much about every aspect but it’s fine you’re just friends, you didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.....

Xiaojun: yea i will, i’m studying for my Korean writing exam it’s so hard :<

YN: you’ll do well, i promise you :< ily

Xiaojun: you too! and thanks yn i know you will always give me the support

Xiaojun offline

University was normal for the past month but as October came around, you felt this wave of motivation flood you. You wanted to change something or do something nice for yourself. A cool halcyon autumns afternoon you and your friends met again at the cafe. It was a lot breezier outside than the last month; the sky was a painted an orangey pink hue and the street lamps illuminating the streets already. Whilst walking 20 minutes earlier to the usual spot, a thought sparked in your mind. You thought to get yourself some flowers for you apartment to fit with the autumnal theme. The glass door opens and the tingling chimes sound throughout the store and a worker gets behind the counter.The various fresh floral scents wafted past you; roses, lilies, gypsophilias and other various flowers and plants. You look around to see what variety there is and what you want for your bouquet-

“hey do you need any help,” a worker speaks to you.

“i was wondering if i could get a combination of the pink roses and the gypsophilias?” You ask before whipping your head around to see a young boy, the same age as you you presumed and you paused examining his face. where have you seen him?

“wait, do you go to Seoul Uni?” you say with a sweet smile

The boy smiles and you notice his little flower brooch; Hendery. “yeah i do, I major in Media production,”

“ohh yeaa you’re in my lecture room after my Bio lecture,” you recognised him, you just never knew his name.

His dark umber hair was floppy, perfectly waved in a way which framed his facial structure. As you looked at him making eye contact out of politeness you couldn't help but notice his glossy coffee orbs and the way he smiled so.. softly. It reminded you of Xiaojun.

“ohh yeah,” he lets out a weak chuckle, “so roses and gypsophilias?” he begins to pick them up and take them to the table for the other worker to arrange them for you.

“Yes please Hendery, thank you,” you smile and go to the counter to pay for them. Of course Hendery is taking your payment. As you hand your card, his fingertips brushed against your soft skin and you retreat, panicked. He moves his eyes to meet with your and you divert your vision to none other than your phone. “Here’s your card,” he slides it across the table to avoid the contact and smiles whilst returning a small bow too. He looks up and smiles again. “ your flowers will take around 20 minutes to be arrange and packaged would you be able to pick it up soon?” he asks following store rules and protocol of course... right?

“oh yes i’m at the cafe opposite with a few of my friends so i should be able to get them!” You smile and nod your head

“ahh okay! i hope to see you soon,”

As you turn around and leave and go to the cafe opposite you can see him through the shop window mindlessly staring out of the window. You wave at him and he gives a shy one back. “yn! where’s our coffee?” Sicheng asks as he jogs over with Hanna and Minseo walking close behind him.

“oh i-” you stuttered

“she was on a secret date with someone, what’s that i smell? a new perfume,” Minseo teases

“nahh it’s definitely for Xiaojun, where is he anyway?” Hanna turns around and sees him running, holding his bag to his chest.

“s-sorry for being late,” he pants his ebony hair messy.

“why is your hair messy?” you ask fixing his hair as he sits down “ it looks cute, right guys,”

They all agree in unison and Xiaojun chuckles, “ thanks guys,”

As minutes went on, they turned to an hour. You completely forgot to pick up your flowers but you still didn’t recall until you heard rustling and a throat clear from the left of you. The group stopped talking. “uh um hey, we’re closing up now and-” he puts the flowers into your hands. “see you around,” he smiles and head off. You looked at him on his motocycle driving off and you looked back at the group smiling and whispering.

“Its not what you think!”

You friends look at you and then back at each other. “soo are you guys a thing or can i have him?” Hanna asks jokily

“NO I mean YEA I-” you try to think straight, this was really embarrassing “yeah do whatever he just happens to go to our university and works at the florist where i went to get some flowers for myself” – they all in unison said ‘ahh’.

Hendery became more talkative with you in university and as time went on you both became good friends. Hendery’s tender smile greeted you almost everyday and it was clear to see his shy barrier he had was slowly melting away to reveal his extroverted personality. Hendery was like a star beaming in a stygian night sky and his bouncy energy like a puppy waiting for a treat. Hendery had such a sweet winsome personality and you were happier than happy to be friends with him. One evening after University Hendery saw you outside waiting at the bus stop since you were on your way to meet the others at a Korean BBQ restaurant. It was colder and ever so dismal but as he walked next to you he greeted you and noticed that you were cold. “ You seem cold?” he tilts his head his soft locks being pushed back with his warm-skinned fingertips. “oh yeah well I’m a little dumb and i forgot to get a scarf or gloves. I didnt really know it’d be so cold today,” you let out a weak chuckle before rubbing your frostbitten hands trying to accumulate the body heat you had left. “Hey yn,” Hendery puts his hand on your shoulder and you feel a sudden warmth immersing you “take these,” he hands you his leather gloves “also are you sure you don’t want a lift to wherever you’re going? the buses are really full,” he informs you. You think a little bit. He has a motorcycle, you have to hold him. What will Xiaojun or the others think? You decided to take the offer. “if you don’t mind and if you’re free please join me in our meal!” you smile was gleaming and perfect. In his eyes.

You sit behind him and he hands you his helmet. “where’s yours?” you ask concerned. “oh don’t worry you wont be the cause of my death,” he jokes around “it’s not too far so we should be okay yn, hold tight okay,” he advised you. Your hands wrap gently around his waist and you felt butterflies in your stomach. Xiaojun hugged you and often playfully threw you onto the trampoline at his house when everyone was around and you were slightly tipsy. You felt a small pang in your chest. Rapidly, Hendery went from 0-60mph, zooming through the streets of Seoul. The city made you feel like you were in a movie scene running away with your true love, only right now it was a friend of yours taking you to the korean bbq place. The sun disappears and the moon replaces the suns place. The glowing orb in the sky illuminated the streets and reflected off the shop windows. It was peaceful, so serene. The abrupt stop meant that you arrived, your face slamming into Hendery’s back which made you move back quickly. “ yn, you alright there,” he smiles and lets out a little chuckle. You stutter slightly trying to pull the helmet off not knowing how you even got it on.

“wait that’s not how you take it off,” he inches closer and gets to the twisted clip that got stuck to your necklace. He untwists the necklace being ever so careful and precise. You knew for a fact your friends could see you and this ‘mysterious’ guy outside standing only inches away from each others face. This only made you think... is this how people kiss? You felt his finger lift your chin up so he could see the buckle. “ahh i see the problem,” he smiles seeing the issue. The silver chain was jammed in the buckle and Hendery was gentle with you. This was NOT what you had planned. “AH! got it, you okay?” he asks you handing the helmet on his bike. “yeah i’m okay, thank you,” you gulp and he opens the door for you and your friends all exclaimed at the fact you finally arrived. You and Hendery both sit at the table; “ohh hey Hendery i didnt know would come too?” Sicheng fist bumps him and pours him a soju shot. “ I can’t drink, i’m gonna have to drive home,” he points at his ride outside and a subltle smile paints across his face. It was a little awkward, especially because of Hanna and Minseo since they didn’t know how to keep anything lowkey. Xiaojun always put extra beef on your plate and the girls kept teasing him. “hey, shes my best friend of course i’ll give her extra?” Xiaojun chuckle and nudges Minseo. “then why don’t you act like that with me?” Minseo pouts jokily and Xiaojun sarcastically rolls his eyes “okay Miss Kim Minseo, here is your beef and an extra bit of kimchi too” Xiaojun placed it on her plate and then of course Sicheng was joking around too pretending to be the girls mocking them playfully. To you, you looked at Minseo and Xiaojun and they...looked cute together. Besides your thirsty friends and the random pit in your stomach, the atmosphere felt euphoric; drinking soju, eating luscious flavoursome food, talking and joking around with the people who you love the most. You sit and go for the water jug at the same time as Hendery and your hands collide again. why does this keep happening? You withdraw your hand away from it so he can pour himself a glass of water. “shall I?” he says holding the clear glass jug hovering over your glass and you just nod. 11:36pm. The restaurant was closing and everyone was en route home.

The onyx night sky coruscated as the heavenly bodies gleamed, the solitary moon illuminating the street you stood on along with Sicheng, Minseo, Hanna, Xiaojun and of course Hendery. “Lucas should be here soon,” Sicheng says to Xiaojun as he looks at his phone and then loking back up to the road. You all waited for each other to go home so everyone was safe especially during this time of night. “How are you getting home yn?” Xiaojun asked. You stopped bretahing for a split second, “umm i’m not too sure? I can take a night train,” you say looking for your train card. You scavenge through your purse to look for it but it wasn’t there. The paleness took over your face and you looked up in panic; “ I don’t know where my train card went?” Xiaojun looked at you and put his hands on your shoulders, “ hey, it’s okay you can probably take a taxi home or even stay with Hanna and Minseo?” you thought about that but in fact you couldn’t since the girls had a small dorm within the campus which was only enough for 2 people and there was no space for an extra person. “It’s fine, I’ll find a way home” you say a little downhearted. “If you don’t mind I can drop you home,” Hendery broke the silence, grinding the floor with his heel. Everyone glance at him as if he were some sort of hero and you were the damsel in distress needing saving - but you knew that you lived too far and this was a reason why you’d only hang out after classes. “Hendery to the rescue,” Xiaojun and Sicheng praise him (as boys do) “ We trust Hendery, he’s a safe driver,” they reassure you but all you could do is give a weak smile back and move towards the motorcycle. As he hits on, he passes you the helmet and you decline the offer, “you’re the driver, you need it more?” you insist, concerned about his safety. “yn, trust me, nothing will happen to me,” You hesitate but take it and put it on your head and sit behind him. Your arms wrap around him again and Hendery takes a deep breathe, closes his eyes for a second and smiles to himself. He starts the vehicle. “i’ll see you guys on Monday!” You say to the others, looking at Xiaojun.

Hendery drove down the incandescent streets of Seoul. Your fingertips fiddled with each other but they also rested on his stomach, the warmth of his body warmed you up on this cold journey home. For a little while, to have a break from straining your eyes, you closed them but your head unexpectedly rested in his back and Hendery’s head twitched as if he was going to turn around but he couldn’t. It was soon after midnight when Hendery arrived to your apartment complex and you felt the hasty breaks. “you’re home yn,” he says and you shake your head blinking to see your home. “ thank you Hendery, thank your for joining me for our meal i hope it was enjoyable for you,” you say handing him his helmet back and stood on the pavement. “It’s okay, anytime honestly,” he smiles - so pure. so innocent. “maybe we should get a coffee together sometime,” he blurts out unexpectedly which came to you as a shock. “of course! you don’t have my number so you?” you ask him and he shakes his head. you both exchanged numbers and you knew that he would become a part of the coffee club...

A seed has been sown – A flower grows when it has been sown deep in the ground and eventually grows roots, a stem and blossoms into something beautiful. Beautiful things have evil outcomes.

You and Hendery started talking more over text and even call and of course sometimes there would be group facetimes where he would be included too. It felt amazing to have such great people and friends who were there for you although you couldn’t help but notice one thing. Xiaojun. One evening as you were cooking on facetime, you noticed Xiaojun texting someone on his phone, smiling, but not the kind where he found something funny. The smile where someone makes your heart flutter, like it’s on a million candy floss clouds floating to - well- who knows? You didn’t want to poke your nose in his private life but since you were kids, you told each other everything? whether it was embarrassing or not like the one time you fell in a puddle because you were too scared of a bee.

“hey Xiaojun,” you say as you go closer to the webcam “why you so smiley for?” you sounded a little passive aggressive but you didn't mean to.

“Just talking to someone,” he smiles but that’s all he says and your friends notice.

“Hey yn, wanna go to the new boba themed cafe tomorrow?” Hendery asks

Sicheng gasps “OIOI let me come as well,” he says.

Hanna frowns “ I have a Liberal arts examination tomorrow after uni, I can’t go but i hope you have fun! i’ll go next time,” she smiles.

“how about you Minseo? are you free tomorrow too?” Sicheng asks whilst tackling his puppy that was trying to eat his phone.

“I have to help my mother.. with groceries” she nods with her sweet smile.

“what ‘bout you,” Sicheng tries to get Xiaojun’s attention

“o- OH me, I cant tomorrow sorry~”

You had to go offline. You declined the call without notifying that you’re going offline.

That night as you sat on your phone on your chat with Xiaojun wanting to rant to him you stopped and deleted the message and slammed your phone down on your bed. Your chest hurt really bad, was it your asthma acting up again? You try to sit up and search for your pump in the bed side table where you put all your medication for easy access although when you used it, it didn’t work. Maybe you were just exhausted so you needed to sleep. Your phone chimes, it was Hendery:

Hendery: Hey, you alright? you seemed off on facetime and then left

YN: not really...

should you lie?

YN: just going through a stressful time

HENDERY: do you wanna talk about it? i’m here to listen to you

YN: thank you but i’m not feeling well right now and i was half way through making dinner and i just can’t be bothered to continue. I wasted so much....

HENDERY: if you want i can help you out? I know Hanna has to study, idk about Minseo, Xiaojun has guitar practice now and Sicheng has dance rehearsals

YN: thats what they said after i left right?

HENDERY: yea and I’m free so

YN: I mean if you want i dont wanna force you

HENDERY: anything for a friend

The fact that a new friend care about you more than your best friend who you knew since preschool

HENDERY: I’ll be there in around half an hour what’s your house number?

YN: ahh okay, I can pick you up from downstairs

HENDERY: okay that’s fine :D

Hendery offline.

That evening when Hendery arrived, he brought extra snacks and ice cream as well as soju. “H-” you were cut off by him. “I know you like soju so let loose a little” he smiles “you didn’t need to buy me so much?” you exclaim. He goes over to your hob to see that you’re making cheesy tteokbokki with some ramen and were also half way through making a kimbap. “Easy meal, i can make this” he continues from where you stopped from. You kept looking at your phone to see if you got any notifications.. none. But you tried to forget about ti since Hendery was here to keep you company and you had someone to eat with. You felt suffocated so you opened your window a little to ventilate your apartment and you took a pump of your asthma pump and assisted Hendery with the food. The aura was serene and everything felt bright as if the stars had lowered themselves for you tonight. The food had been plated and the drinks were poured into glasses and you both sat on the couch facing the tv watching a show. “how you feeling?” he asks. You noticed that he asks you that quite often? why? “A little, you’re a good chef!” You compliment him and as you do you see his rather charming face glow up. Your phone chimed and you reached over for it and see the notification; “who is it?” Hendery asks, curious if it’s one of the others. “Oh, it’s just Xiaojun I don’t know what he wants right now,” you unlock your phone and read the message;

XIAOJUN: wyd

You felt your stomach spiralling viciously. were you about to throw up? Your chest began to hurt with affliction.

YN: nothing hbu

XIAOJUN: I was talking

YN: to?

XIAOJUN: a friend of mine

YN: since when were you so interested in this friend that you’d ignore us on face time

You could feel it was getting harder to breathe and your cheeks were burning up red. “hey yn, you’re going red? easy slowly you might choke,”he coughed

XIAOJUN: why are you so passive aggressive? if i’m annoying you i can go

YN: and talk to this friend, okay

XIAOJUN: ??

YN: nothing, I’ll go back to hanging out with Hendery, at least he cares.

XIAOJUN: you’re with Hendery!! Since when were you and him a thing! I’m happy for you :D

YN: we’re fucking not. he’s my friend... it’s a shame how my childhood best friend doesn’t give a fuck about me

yn is offline.

XIAOJUN: yn? what? what happened what did i do

XIAOJUN: lets talk this out

XIAOJUN: hello? come back online, i do care.

XIAOJUN: yn...

xiaojun is offline.

You threw your phone on the floor and got up leaving your food on the table and going to the bathroom. Quickly you knelt down at the toilet bowl and your stomach heaved what you just ate and not only that a bunch of water. It wasn’t bile, you knew what bile was but this was pure water that exited your body. You began to get chestier coughs and in this time Hendery knocked on the door. “ yn, you don’t sound well, do you want me to help you? can i come in?” Thats exactly how Xiaojun would speak to you and how much he cared for you. Your night was crashing down on you like an asteroid destroying everything that night. Hendery opened the door and saw you dangling over the toilet bowl having difficulties breathing and your cheeks tear stained. “oh my god, yn-” he rushes to get to you and tries to pick you up but your mind was a mess and your previous memories disrupted the present. “XIAOJUN GO AWAY!”

“Hey, yn... I’m not xiaojun I’m Hendery” he says gently trying to solace you. He was understanding and heartfelt. He had all the qualities that Xiaojun has to make a perfect best friend. Eventually you got to your bed with Hendery’s help and he cleaned the apartment up for you. He went into the bathroom and you heard the tap running but even closer he was heaving too? Maybe it was the cheese? who knew.. “ hey yn, if you need me you’re free to call or message me anytime okay,” thats what Xiaojun said too once. You nod and he leaves the apartment until the next day.

The growth of roots 11:43am: You had your early morning lectures and you sat on the University steps on your phone since.

MINSEO: hey where are you?

HANNA: library studying :/ hbu

MINSEO: looking for Xiaojun

MINSEO: and yn + sicheng

HANNAH: ohh okay, Hendery?

MINSEO: ohh yeah i forgot about him

HANNA: where’s yn?

MINSEO: idk??

XIAOJUN: you lot spam, i’m coming out from the back entrance, i’ll be there

*seen by yn*

XIAOJUN: i see you lurking yn

YN: okay

XIAOJUN: aren’t you meeting with your boyfriend

MINSEO: boyfriend???

YN: Hendery is not my boyfriend, can you fucking not :)

yn has turned off her activity status...

Xiaojun taps your shoulder and smiles at you profoundly and offers you a hand to help you up. “what are you doing here alone?” Xiaojun asks despite you going off at him. “i dont know i wanted to be alone?” you scoff as subtle as you could. “ well Xiaojun is here now,” he says as he wraps his arm around your waist but it felt different.. to you at least. His flawless smile made you forget why you were mad at him in the first place; as you begin to walk your phone chimes.

HENDERY: hey where are you? I’m waiting at your bus stop :D

YN: i’ll be there soon sorry for making you wait

HENDERY: it’s okay :D x

As you got to the main road, Xiaojun still had his arm around and Hendery called your name from afar but as he saw you both his smile dropped into a frown. Did you plan something without telling him to stitch him up? You writhe out of Xiaojun’s arms but he grabbed your arm. “where you doing?” he pouted and that was it. “w-with Hendery,” you gulped but your skin felt as if it were on flames and your lungs were clogged? you brought your asthma pump today too just incase. “oh yeah, he’s taking you out,” Xiaojun nods “ Have fun,” he suddenly drops your arm. You walk to Hendery not wanting to look back but Hendery saw what he saw and he didn’t want to say it....yet. That afternoon the boba shop with Hendery was diverting, it was a shame that it was just you two though...

9:21PM: you sit at your dining table and scroll through your phone before you see a photo of Xiaojun on your feed but you thought nothing of it and scrolled past it. A painful knot began to grow within your lungs? what was this pain? You didn’t know what it was but the pain was just unbearable. It was difficult for you to breathe but you used your asthma pump but it didnt work this time so you ran to the bathroom again and your couldn’t help but throw up again but this time it was strange? There were red petals and leaves and peculiar vine looking things which startled you and couldn’t stop. The feeling was worse than last time, this time is felt tighter; there was was no scientific meaning behind this. You sat against the bathroom wall and pondered who you should tell? Maybe you’d keep it to yourself since no one would believe you right and claim that you’re making it up for attention, at least you hope they wouldn’t think that. You help your phone between your trembling hands, you were terrified. Coughing was painful; it was as if tiny thorns impaled you lungs and tight vines and roots were wrapping around it more and more every day. The question is, why? The whole night you sat in your apartment alone and agony. Help me.

Your mind echoed with theories and conspiracies, were you a mutant? a glitch? or was this all a dream. The December Christmas festival was a big thing in Seoul so everything was decorated in red, white and green with snowflakes and mistletoes hidden around the street where the Cafe was. The tinsel glistened in the fairy lights swathed the tall street lamps as well as the shop windows. It was Christmas day the following week and your friends organised a small Christmas party just amongst you and your friends and they decided to book a Karaoke room and then go to your apartment since you were the only one who lived alone. “what do you think yn? are you okay with the idea?” Minseo asks her pretty dusty pink lips pouting at you. She looked twice as pretty today; her hair was loosely curled, her eyes glittering soft pink and champagne, her lips a dusty pink and her clothing all neat and pretty. “yeah, that’s fine” you nod looking down and feel you coughing start up again covering your mouth “ excuse me..” you blurt out before running to the bathroom and locking yourself in a stall. “what happened?” Hanna asked confused and concerned “should we go to check on her?”. “I think she’s feeling unwell but we can go,” Minseo adds on and Hanna immediately gets up. Meanwhile, whilst you were coughing up blood, petals and full flower buds excruciatingly your phone chimes.

XIAOJUN: hey, are u at the cafe with Minseo and Hanna? Sicheng and I are around the corner.

you ignored it since your excruciating pain didn't allow you to respond to him. Your eyes tear up smudging your eyeliner and staining your cheeks. Once you felt okay enough to leave, you fix your makeup and open the bathroom door. Opposite was the mens bathroom and you saw Hendery walk out too, brushing his thumb over the corner of his lip. “are you okay?” he asks looking at you noticing you were crying. “ i’m fine, just don’t feel well,” you lie “ your eyes are red? are you okay?” you ask him. There was a short silence. “just choked....on a hazelnut,” he responded. You knew he was lying but he knew you were too. December 24th 5pm the group met at the karaoke bar and went into the room they booked. It reminded you of your first year at university when it was just you and the girls; it was the first time you got drunk and had to crash at Hanna’s mothers house (of course she stayed with you). You all sat around the table and you were wedged between Xiaojun and Hendery. Great. Hanna and Sicheng picked a song and of course it was Girl Generation, Hanna’s favourite. You sat there next to Hendery and Xiaojun and Hendery tapped your shoulder to break you out of your dazed state. He slid a small shot glass across the table and you took it before choking on the pungent alcohol. “WOAH WOAH slow down yn, you normally never drink this quick or like this,” Xiaojun takes the shot glass from you. “and people change best friend,” you shrug his arm that sat on your shoulders off “ Hendery, please can you pour me an-” before your coughing began acting up again although this time you couldn’t run out since you were stuck between them; you felt liquid rise up your throat and thats when everything was out of your control and you coughed up blood, water buds and petals again and everyone gasped in shock and horror! “y-yn...” Xiaojun, Hanna and Minseo stopped and stared at you whilst you were trying to get rid of the flowers and buds. Hendery however put his arm around you and covered you and whispered something to you...

“hey, breathe slowly, it’s okay..” his mellifluous tone calming you.

“should we give you some space?” Xiaojun asks as he moves to sit next to Minseo and gave you and Hendery some space. Your heart ached and you closed your eyes and leaned into Hendery’s chest and he let out a small gasp. Hanna and Sicheng were back to the karaoke so the terrible singing, except Sicheng, drowned out the intrusive thoughts. Hendery hesitated putting his arms around you to form a hug, but he did anyway and comforted you. Around 7:30pm it was time to go to your apartment for the gift exchange for the secret santa you all organised. You had Xiaojun. oh the luck. Recently he hasn’t been acting the same and a pit fell in your stomach. You all sat in a circle. You sat next to Sicheng and Hendery this time. Xiaojun sat next to Hendery and Minseo. Sicheng gave his give to Minseo which was a fluffy pink purse like bag she had been wanting for months now and her face began to glow, the lights doing her all the justice. She was just... ethereal. you compared yourself to her a lot. “OMG Sicheng thank you so much I’ve been wanting this for so long” and hugged him. Next it was Hanna to Hendery; he unwrapped the gift and it was a silver plated rose pin. “ I didn’t know what to get but you work at a florist and seem to like flowers a lot,” She let out a soft chuckle. “ Its great! thank you!”. Minseo got Sicheng and got him a silver ring which looked rather expensive. You hesitated to give your gift to Xiaojun. You bought him a pair of shoes he has been wanting for a while and you wrote in your card;

‘ I hope we can step we can walk through everything together and not miss a single milestone.’

He smiles at the card - “ me too, let’s be friends even after we’re married,” but you know what he meant by that. Lastly it was Hendery. He gifted you a jewellery set which were little daisies made of silver as well as a little note inside

‘ You look absolutely beautiful in silver, I hope you wear these and think of me, Hendery x’

“Thank you so much Hendery I love them so much!” You smiled at the gift.

That evening as everyone drank hot drinks and played games together, you noticed something. Something about yourself. A deep desire that had been whirling in you mind and heart for the longest time had finally arisen and you decided that it was true. You look at him. His ebony locks neatly sitting over his forehead, his guitar bag on his back, his pearly white smile- everything about him. But he’s your best friend? you cant fall for him. This is what your heart was striking itself over and over again; your own best friend and your forbidden feelings for him. It all made sense. Whenever your eyes collided it felt like a million fireworks exploding into the sea of darkness, illuminating the void in your vacant heart making it feel vivacious. Your emptiness felt revived whenever he touched you, or your stomach would flutter when he would speak to you; his mellifluous voice echoing in your ears. That was it. You were completely in love with Xiaojun. It made sense after all these years you would grow such strong emotions for him and it was obvious now that you liked him. Perhaps he had the same feelings for you too since thats how he would act around you with all the holding and intimacy between you both and how he would care about you so much. You were certain of it. As you thought to yourself whilst in a room amongst your buoyant friends, you thought that perhaps you could confess to him. Now? okay maybe not now... maybe ask him to hang out after Christmas day? it was the best option. Eventually, as it hit 4am, everyone dozed off on the floor, couch and armchair. Xiaojun was curled up on one side of the couch, his arms hugging a cushion of yours and Sicheng on the other side. Hanna slept on the arm chair, Minseo slept against the sofa and Hendery slept on one side of your bed. Everywhere was occupied and you had no choice but to use the unoccupied space on your bed but it was fine he was your best friend so it was normal; you did this with Xiaojun and the girls multiple times.

You waited a while until New Years Eve to do what you have been planning for the remaining time that was left between Christmas and NYE. There was a firework display that was over the Han river and you and your friends went to see it. It was colder during the night time so you wrapped up warm and everyone was so effervescent and laughed together drinking sparkling Champagne or Prosecco. You stood next to Xiaojun and tapped his shoulder however he was too focused on the drink and on someone else talking to him. It wasn’t easy to hear each other since people were bustling around from town to the river. “Xiaojun!” you shout so he can hear you and he turns around smiling, his cheeks flushed a light pink. Everything seemed... different. He was glowing, his lips were a blushing pink, his skin like smooth glass. Everything had seemed to have enhanced? “I want to tell you something,” you say to him, a knot forming at your throat and you struggle to gulp your nerves. “ What is it?” he asks you lowering himself so he can hear you. His face was only inches away from your face and you wanted to do it, you really wanted to but you waited until 12am. “I’ll tell you after t-the countdown,” you stutter. He nods in confirmation and goes back to the group. Hendery talks and smiles with Sicheng but there was a fragment of pain and suffering in his eyes and you could tell when someone was hurting from a distance. He asked Sicheng to hold his drink before he went elsewhere.. did you want to follow him and ask hi if he’s okay or should you wait and tell Xiaojun how you felt. You chose him instead...

There was 1 minute left. You waited for the countdown. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

You look for Xiaojun since he wandered off closer to the front of the river. You run through the crowd of people but stop. Everything darkens. You feel empty. It felt like you feel out of heaven and everything was taken away from you. The heavenly passion, the sweet intentions you had vanished; Destroyed into an abyss of torment and pain. You felt the tear of you heart. I’m sorry. you tell yourself. You wish you didn’t have to witness what you did but.. well.. you did.

Xiaojun stood there smiling ear to ear. The smile was sweet but you never saw him smile with so much admiration and love in his gaze before. You froze and watched what was happening, the pain in your heart only getting increasing worse and worse restricting you from breathing more. You see the girl he was looking at and it was none other than Minseo... His blushed lips pressed against her peachy toned lips, Minseo tip toeing to reach him and put her arms around his neck. He lifted her by the waist and the both giggled into each others kisses. You had it. You couldn’t do it anymore. Maybe it was time for this to all stop once and for all. Xiaojun comes up to you and sits beside you. “hey yn, what were you doing to tell me earlier?” he asks tilting his head back so his locks were pushed back from his face. “oh,” you pause. What else do you have to lose? “X-Xiaojun...” you stutter and he nods. “I-I loved you,”

Your heart stopped. It skipped a beat.

“huh?” he asks “you love me,” he chuckles “I’m glad you had the courage to tell me that yn but-” he gulps and smiles again “I love someone else...”

You didn’t know what to say but your tears took over. Hendery wandered around looking for you and saw you sobbing and Xiaojun not knowing what to do. He runs up to you; “ Yn? hey you okay, whats wrong,”. You didnt speak but just cried. “why is she crying?” Hendery asks Xiaojun concerned. “ I told her I love someone else... I didn’t know she liked me” Hendery stopped whilst holding you. “she liked you?” – rejection never tasted so good.. right

Now there were thunderstorms within Hendery’s mind and heart as well as yours.

Everything went black.

You woke up. The bright light blinded you and you blinked hard to see where you were but the pain in your chest was.... gone. “how long has it been?” you ask a nurse in the room. “hmm 4 days,” You were shocked. “did i get surgery?” you ask. “ yes there was a peculiar blockage in your lungs and we had to remove them,”

You were pain free.

“ someones here to pick you up though,” The doors open to Hendery and Xiaojun. “Hey how are you now,” Xiaojun asks “I’m sorry about New Years, It’s just me and Minseo hung out once and there was this feeling i never had, i’m sorry i lead you on”

you thought for a bit. “I never liked you like that? I didn’t romantic feelings for you,” Hendery turns around and nods but leaves. “i’ll be back,”

“but you told me last night you did? i’m confused,” Xiaojun thinks

“oh, well i don’t,” You shrug

Hendery comes back and tells you both that it’s time for your discharge.

Months pass as everything is back to normal except one day.

It was a refreshing spring day, the blossoming flowers glided through the spring breeze as the sun light cascades onto the viridescent greenery. You sit outside and always waited for your friends and always complimented how Xiaojun and Minseo looked, despite the memory that had been removed from your heart and mind. Hendery gave Xiaojun a small box and a card to give to you on your birthday; “ make sure she gets these on her birthday,” he tells him “i’ll be out of town for a while....” he lied but Xiaojun didn’t know but agreed to do what he asked. But as days went by a member of your friendship group vanished. Where did Hendery go?

One evening, you received a small box and a card with it on your birthday.

“ To my one love YN,

Since the second year of university when i first laid eyes on you I couldn’t control my feelings for you. You swept me away. I’m sorry I couldn’t spend your birthday with you but i had something i had to take care of. I have something important to tell you and that is you did love Xiaojun and whatever pain you felt was something i felt too.... for you. But getting the buds, vines and thorns removed it also made you lose all romantic feelings. Im sorry but I couldn’t see you in pain anymore. But i’ll be back... and hopefully my feelings wont get in the way anymore.

-Hendery”

The silver rose was placed in the box. Hendery loved you? A rush of guilt and sadness flood through out you and now you were worried about him. He was in more pain than you were but he was strong and endured it just to make you happy. Because despite him being in pain, your happiness made him feel at ease. You called, messaged, you did everything you could. No answer at all. He disappeared. No sign of him at all and all you have left is a silver rose..

Where did Hendery go?

#hendery #wayv hendery #wayv x reader #wayv #hanahaki #xiaojun #sicheng

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deadcactuswalking · 5 years ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020: 31/01

So, this is the first UK Top 40 after Brexit—we left the European Union the day of this chart’s release... and we’re clearly being punished for it already.

Top 10

Lewis Capaldi, Lewis, Lewis Capaldi. Somehow, due to a new music video, this bloody creature has got his second #1 with “Before You Go”, up four spaces to the top. This is France’s revenge, isn’t it? Sacrebleu.

Up two spaces however is “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd, to the runner-up spot, which is never a bad thing.

At number-three, we have the slight one-spot drop for “The Box” by Roddy Ricch.

At number-four, unfortunately, there isn’t that big of a drop for “Godzilla” by Eminem featuring the late Juice WRLD, down three spaces from its #1 position last week. I guess sales are doing well enough to keep this at the top.

Down two spots is “Own It” by Stormzy featuring Ed Sheeran and Burna Boy at number-five.

At number-six, we have a slight one-space increase for “Don’t Start Now” by Dua Lipa.

“Life is Good” by Drake, then Future is down one position to number-seven.

Due to the Grammy’s performance, because, yes, they do affect the UK charts as well, probably because of 4Music’s pathetic coverage, as well as a long overdue video, “everything i wanted” by Billie Eilish is up three spaces back into the top 10 at number-eight.

“Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi is up a spot to number-nine because of course it freaking is.

Finally, to round off the top 10, we’re seeing the end of the top 10 run for deteriorating TikTok meme “ROXANNE” by Arizona Zervas, down two to #10... just as it was starting to grow on me.

Climbers

Our singular climber this week is “bad guy” by Billie Eilish up six spots to #22. I’m as confused as you are.

Fallers

On the other hand, we have a handful of these due to a bigger story this week, probably the one that’ll occupy the most time of the three big chart stories here. So, outside of the top 10, “Ei8ht Mile” by DigDat featuring Aitch is down eight spaces to #17 off of the debut, “Ride It” by Regard featuring Jay Sean is also down eight to #29, “Circles” by Post Malone is down six to #31, and that’s not a lot, right? Well, no, but there are also the fallers from last week’s group of Eminem debuts, which unlike what happens with album bombs in the US, did not cause absolute chart chaos once dissipated, and instead just peacefully and rather slowly decreasing in chart points against the flood of the other album bomb. I’m of course talking about “Those Kinda Nights” featuring Ed Sheeran down 15 spaces to #27 and lead single “Darkness” crumbling down 20 spaces to #37.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

We have a couple dropouts here as well, but no returning entries. These are the songs that dropped off the face of the chart this week: “South of the Border” by Ed Sheeran featuring Camila Cabello and Cardi B out from #30, “Beautiful People” by Ed Sheeran featuring Khalid out from #32 (Not Sheeran’s greatest week), “Me & You Together Song” by the 1975 sadly out from #35 off of the debut – I thought this song would last, unlike “STILL DISAPPOINTED” by Stormzy out from #36, or even long-running hits like “HIGHEST IN THE ROOM” by Travis Scott and remixed by ROSALIA and Lil Baby out from #37, and finally, “Senorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello. Now, I figured I should mention some songs in the top 75 but not in the top 40 that we could see enter the chart in the coming weeks—I haven’t got a single one of these right yet (Well...), but regardless, here are the songs I picked. Not all of them are good, not all of them are bad. There is “Better Off Without You” by Becky Hill and Shift K3y at #42, “Suicidal” by YNW Melly at #44, “Say So” by Doja Cat at #45, “Power Over Me” by Dom Kennedy at #48, “Lonely” by Joel Corry at #61, “SUGAR” by BROCKHAMPTON at #62, “High Fashion” and “Ballin’”, both by Roddy Ricch and Mustard, at #63 and #64, “One Night” by MK at #66, and even the two new songs from M Huncho’s album that missed the Top 40: “Indulge” at #50 featuring D-Block Europe, and “Head Huncho” at #60 featuring Headie One... now for a bit of a different story that starts in the Summer of 1785.

BREXIT RUBBISH

German poet Friedrich Schiller published an ode in 1786 that he wrote the year prior. It was later interpolated by the legendary Ludwig van Beethoven in his 1984 Ninth Symphony. In 1972, quite ironically for a song composed by two Germans when Germany was still split into two (Although admittedly they were both born in western regions of Germany), Beethoven’s composition was adopted as the anthem for Europe as a whole, and the European Union. Does that sound familiar? In 2016, the most famous pig-adulterer in Britain commenced the Brexit vote, resulting in a slight majority to leave the EU. I don’t like getting too political on this show, so I won’t get into this in-depth, but all you need to know is that the Scottish party protested in Parliament in 2017 by singing this song, and that led to this two-party war: The Anti-Brexit and pro-EU song, “Ode to Joy”, the European anthem as performed by Dutchman André Rieu, and the pro-Brexit song, if you excuse my language, “17 Million Frick Offs”, a song by some right-wing comedian (Dominic Frisby) directed towards the 17 million people who proudly told the European Union, to, well, “frick off”, and praising them for doing so. Thankfully, the nation has spoken.

#30 – “Ode to Joy” – André Rieu and Johann Strauss Orchestra

Produced by André Rieu

Frisby’s song peaked at #43, meaning we only have to talk about the Dutch man here, and his first UK Top 40 hit, probably his only one. I would have preferred “Anarchy in the UK” personally, but I’ll accept this. I see how this works as a protest song too, as it’s a pretty triumphant composition, but really, I mean, what do you expect me to say about the European national (Continential?) anthem? Yeah, I think the Johann Strauss Orchestra guest verse kind of ruined the vibe for me on this one, but the beat slaps hard. I don’t like boring, patriotic squabble like this, and it’s not like Rieu does anything with it as this is rather trite, with some really gross mixing of the horns. In fact, the whole song is mixed pretty painfully. I appreciate the sentiment, though, guys, but this is pretty bad. Call me a Eurosceptic for not appreciating some Dutch dude’s rendition of a European historical motif, but really I’d say the same about “God Save the Queen” – and not the Sex Pistols song; that one’s awesome.

ALBUM BOMB: Big Conspiracy – J Hus

I haven’t listened to this album yet, simply because I haven’t had the time, but J Hus is a British rapper who released his first album since his release from prison, Big Conspiracy, on 24th January 2020, to immense critical acclaim and commercial success, debuting at #1 on the UK Albums Chart. These are the three biggest songs from it, and my thoughts on all of them.

#21 – “Repeat” – J Hus featuring Koffee

Produced by Jae5

Interestingly, all of these songs have features. Anyways, let’s get through these as quickly as possible, shall we? I mean, they will probably all sound the same. This was released the day before the album, and is J Hus’ tenth UK Top 10 hit, and Koffee’s first. Who is Koffee, you ask? She’s a Jamaican reggae artist who became the first woman to win the Best Reggae Album award at the most recent Grammy’s. I can see some of the reggae influence here as well, but it’s not actually that clear as it’s mostly a typical Afroswing song that J Hus would have made, with inorganic and pretty stiff drum patterns, and a non-existent atmosphere. Koffee puts way too much effort in, at least in comparison to Hus’ dire performance here, where he just literally mumbles somewhat off-beat for a couple bars and calls it a day, while Koffee is singing her heart out. It’s a really imbalanced ratio is what I’m saying. The strings towards the end are pretty cool but the final chorus is abrupt and overall, this song feels like a pointless meander for the sake of either filler or just landing Koffee a place on the album. I can’t hate it, because Koffee’s performance is great and the instrumental is tolerable, but for Hus, this is oddly flavourless.

#19 – “Big Conspiracy” – J Hus featuring iceé tgm

Produced by TSB

“Big Conspiracy” is the title track and the opening track on the album as well as J Hus’ 11th UK Top 40 hit, and Iceé tgm’s first – hell, she doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page and it’s seeming pretty likely that she debuted on J Hus’ album and she is in fact his sister. It’s pretty cool getting your family involved in the business. You know what else is pretty cool? This song; I like the guitar pick-up and the complimenting bassline, with some sweet vocal melodies and loops from iceé tgm, that seem to be scattered around the entire beat, which is an interesting idea. J Hus is still a tad lazier than usual here, with very little multi-tracking (Seems to be only one-take) or energy, but the chorus has some gorgeous harmonies, his rap verses are casual albeit memorable. I enjoy his (hopefully) sarcastic endorsement of Ronald Reagan in the first verse, and his point about underdogs rising in the second verse, which is a nice message. The bridge is pretty good, as it gives iceé tgm a bit of solo time, and she sounds decent but admittedly non-descript, and then there’s a smooth sax solo for seemingly no reason. Eh, I’m all for it. This is sweet, and it’s nice that an out-of-the-blue conscious rap song debuted in the top 20, but again, lacking a lot of the character I saw from the lead single.

#11 – “Play Play” – J Hus featuring Burna Boy

Produced by Jae5, Nana Rogues and Scribz Riley

Finally, also a pre-release single by about a day, is “Play Play”, J Hus’ 12th UK top 40 hit and Burna Boy’s fourth. We all know who Burna Boy is by now, although coincidentally Koffee happened to have covered Burna’s breakout hit “Ye” on the BBC Radio Live Lounge. I suppose that’s of note. I figured maybe the highest debuting single from the album would have that lively energy and bright comedy that I saw in “Must Be”, but no, there isn’t, which is exciting as that’s what I expected from this record, and the second single did try to confirm my suspicions. Much like “Repeat”, however, I feel this would easily be better if it were just a Burna Boy single, with his charming hook and cute steel-pans-based instrumental, but no, J Hus is here, and... did he forget how to rap? He sounds pretty awful here, with a dry flow that flubs rhymes and fits too many words into the meter, an uninteresting cadence and even awful mixing that makes him feel so distant from a song that should be warm and intimate. The reason I can’t dislike the song, however, is the concept, which both artists talk about in detail, especially Hus’ hilariously... bipolar verses, if that’s the best way to describe them. It seems to be about comparing women to guns, but also that women like him for his guns, and that he treats his gun like a woman? I don’t know, it’s a dumb concept that is messy in execution, but at least it’s unique. Pretty disappointed in these tracks, to be honest; maybe the deep cuts will be more to my fancy.

NEW ARRIVALS

#40 – “Roses” – Saint Jhn

Produced by F a l l e n and remixed by Imanbek

Hey, a song I actually predicted would reach the UK Top 40, just last week! I’m pretty impressed with myself, but admittedly I guess if you throw 70 stones at a bird, at least one will kill it, just as the old proverb says. Anyways, this is Saint Jhn’s first ever UK Top 40 hit and was mostly propelled by the Imanbek EDM remix, which I’ll be listening to as well. The original song “Roses” was released on the Guyanese-American rapper’s SoundCloud in July 2016 and was included in his 2018 compilation album. He had written for other artists like Jidenna before but his solo work went mostly unnoticed until a producer called Imanbek released an unauthorised house remix. Imanbek is a Kazakh producer, and his remix was released through a Russian record label, so there is a surprising amount of cultures involved in making this one song; it’s kind of interesting. Also, we never see anyone on the UK Top 40 chart from freaking Kazakhstan! That’s insane! By the way, Kazakhstan’s flag is my personal favourite flag of the world. I love the colour combination. The original song is one I’m generally not pleased with, personally, with a dull trap beat and hi-hats that somehow rattle too much, and a murmuring, unintelligible Auto-Tune drawl from Saint Jhn that’s just unpleasant, and for a song called “Roses”, is kind of eerie, and overall, the song is just kind of boring and underwhelming, although I’ll admit the vocal melodies and ideas are there, and I especially like the synths in the later parts of the chorus. What this needed to push it over the edge was a 19-year-old guy from Kazakhstan and I’m not joking; I love this house version. The pitch-shifted, almost chipmunk, rendition of the vocals could be obnoxious to some people but to me it adds so much energy and quirk to an otherwise dry performance from Jhn, and the beat in this version has such an infectious synth bass, despite otherwise being a pretty standard house beat, with some vague horn inflections, traditional pop-house drum beat, and pretty cliché vocal samples, but the melodies I liked are still here, in fact the trap beat is partially kept in during the chorus, and touches like that are pretty nice. The slog of the verses have a lot more groove to them sped-up too. Yeah, I enjoy this, and it’s a massive improvement over the original. Big up Kazakhstan.

#32 – “Pee Pee” – M Huncho

Produced by ADP

Honestly, if the form of protest against Brexit is only demonstrated into making songs chart, I’d like to think that the children all around Britain have all decided to make it clear that Brexit is pee pee, and I couldn’t be more proud. This is M Huncho’s third UK Top 40 hit and from his album Huncholini the 1st... this guy is a joke, right? He even wears a mask to be anonymous, but it’s not for personal or even gang-related reasons. It’s just a cartoon mask that he says is supposed to accentuate the message of the music. What’s the message of this song then, Mr. Huncholini?

When I bust my nut, I go and take a pee pee

Inspiring. I’m tempted to just leave it at that, actually – can I? Yeah? Are you sure? Okay, well, that’s all, then.

Conclusion

Honestly, “Pee Pee” isn’t even that bad, and it’s not getting the Dishonourable Mention. That’s going to “Play Play” by J Hus featuring Burna Boy, with Worst of the Week going to that crap rendition of “Ode to Joy”. I don’t have much to praise here, but I might as well give Best of the Week to “Roses” by Saint Jhn, purely for the Imanbek remix, as if it were the original only, it could easily get the Dishonourable Mention. Honourable Mention goes to “Big Conspiracy” by J Hus featuring iceé tgm, just barely. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank, I’ll see you next week!

REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020

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