#anyway gem had a bit of a menty b but it's fine

[finch-the-foolish]

Ok so uh @rose-lizzzy apologies for taking so long on this (I got distracted by an absurd amount of fae Jim brainrot) but uh. Here it is! My scrunkly little AU about my silly little eldritch bois having a certified Bad Time. Gem is one of the main characters, being a Celestial (which I'll talk about in a separate post), alongside all my other creatures cause it's fun to mess with my little guys. Anyway they're all eldritch horrors and doing a shit job of hiding it.

So here ya go! Enjoy ig! If ya like it I'll continue messing with everyone!

The Horrors and The Heavens

TW/CW for anxiety, paranoia, a mental breakdown/panic attack, themes of death and fear surrounding it, themes of lying, despair, fears surrounding others hatred

Gem had long been hiding the truth.

It wasn't like she was the only one doing it—many of her friends had secrets, some more terrible than others, though everyone had something to hide. It was impossible not to, what with how varied and rag-tag their server was.

Regardless, Gem was living a lie. One weaved in careful half-truths and false memories, a well-crafted backstory built on a foundation of nothing. She had been parading these lies for years, burying any remnants of her past, any portions of her life she knew she couldn't share.

Gem knew how the other hermits, the other emperors, how anyone and everyone would react upon her discovery. She had seen it; flitted through countless terrible otherworlds, containing a harsh future she refused to make real. Even as much as it was her nature.

Gemini Tay, a being of the stars, wanderer of the cosmos, wholly capable of burning out in a beautiful flame and taking her systems with her. She was a Celestial, a creature of light and ruin, something she would hide away till the end of her days. Whatever it took to keep herself safe—to keep her friends safe.

She had taken precautions to ensure nobody knew her past, to ensure nobody discovered her second existence on either server; she couldn't bear to stay in one place, that innate need for orbit and movement drawing her away to a second realm, sometimes more when the draw of wanderlust grew too strong.

These precautions had held for over a year, her twin lives moving peacefully through their own realms. Sure, there had been… incidents—the presence of False had posed a threat at first, though she didn't seem to recognise Gem as anything but the Princess of Dawn, same with the old Saint Pearl before her untimely death. Beyond that, though? She'd kept her mask well; better than some, certainly.

It wasn't until she heard of the Rift that she got concerned. Only slightly, at first—she recalled slipping into the cavern one day while Grian was off doing something, recalled staring up at that swirling wall of fabric and code and being struck with the terrible knowledge of its being. A portal, a rip in the universe, releasing energy of the inner code like some slashed, festering wound.

The Rift worried her, though she didn't attempt passing through; there was always the chance of slipping into some other realm with some other her, causing some world-crashing paradox. That had happened once, years ago, back when her powers were new and her mind foolish and far less stable. She refused to let it happen again.

Gem found herself more on edge, keeping a careful hand on her grasp of the Empires' code, desperately praying there would be no tear, that she could live on in her own little lie forever. Her god was not so kind, though, and it wasn't long before a second Rift tore through. She was on Hermitcraft when it happened, but even then she could feel it, feel the terrible ripping of reality's cloth, reverberating through her own code, her own soul, that ever-present link to the stars dragging the feeling through her.

The lie to conceal that was rough, barely coherent in that rush of feeling, but she couldn't bother to care then. She cared now, though. She cared as the Hermits ventured through the Rift, as she found herself trapped in one world with the people she'd tried so hard to hide from. It wasn't that she didn't love her friends—no, it was this love which drove her hidden existences; she couldn't risk their discovery or their harm. And yet here she was, her double life on the edge of discovery.

She went along with the other Emperors' confusion, trying desperately to ignore the near-hurt looks of Impulse and Pearl as she acted as though she hardly knew them. She acted and fibbed and lied, lied, over and over and over again. They couldn't know. They couldn't.

It didn't help how the Hermits pushed, questioning and pestering like some horrid, eternal interrogation, just waiting for her to slip up. Some part of Gem wondered if they already knew, if they were just waiting to reveal her for what she truly was. Perhaps they wanted her to confess—perhaps it would be easier if she did.

What would she do if they found out? Would they ban her? Kill her? She was dangerous—a known murderer in one realm already, a powerful princess in another, and a being capable of destroying them all in both. She wouldn't put it past them to simply end her existence, snuffed out like a star dragged into the dark of a black hole.

The thought scared Gem, scared her more than any she'd had in a long time. And so she became avoidant, lying on a habit, covering up every bit of her other life that she could, even as the glaring marker of truth which was the Hermits remained.

These lies came to a head one day, within some building of Dawn. She'd been working away at this build, distracting herself in the joy of creation, a side of her coin she much preferred to land upon.

It was just before noon when Impulse and Pearl arrived, wandering into the latest addition to Dawn.

"Gem? Gemmmm? Gemmy? Gemmy Gem? You there?" Pearl's voice rang through the small building, drawing Gem's attention from the wall she'd been decorating.

"Pearl?" Gem replied, turning away from her wall as the pair rounded one of the doorways. "Oh. Hi. Do you… need something?"

Impulse shrugged, taking up a spot against one of the other walls. "Eh. Just.. wanted to stop by, see how you're doing."

"Oh, alright. Uhm, I'm just kinda building right now- tryna decide which wall design I should go with." She gestured to the indented wall behind her, letting the pair focus on that. It was easier when they weren't staring at her.

"Ooh, I like the one on the right. Kinda reminds me of one of the other patterns in the castle—y'know, that one?" Pearl looked back at her, awaiting an answer Gem knew she couldn't give.

Some part of Gem wanted to tell them; she'd been holding in all these hidden truths for so long, all these lies she'd had to weave to survive. Some part of her wanted nothing more than to ramble out everything she'd been hiding.

But still. She couldn't. She never could—it would risk everything she had worked for. And so she awkwardly shrugged, mumbling a small "No?"

Her friends shared a look, and, watching them, Gem nearly gave into the urge to agree, tell them yes she knew, yes she understood, yes they had been friends, they were still friends.

"Gem, are you sure you don't remember anything? I.. I know we're pesterin' you a lot, but- our Gem hasn't shown up since we passed through the Rift, and- well, you're her- sorta- I-" Pearl shook her head. "Void, none of this is coming out right. I.. we just wanna know. Are you.. you? Or some other you? Are you the Gem we know?"

Gem tensed, drawing in a breath. They weren't going to leave her alone, were they? They didn't understand what she had to do, why she had to lie to live the way she did, to even live at all.

As her thoughts slipped, she faintly heard an instinctive no, hesitant as it was, fall from her lips. She shook her head, focusing again on her friends—no, they weren't her friends, they were the Hermit Gem's friends, different friends from a different world which should never have met her at all.

"Are you certain? You.. you hesitated. You can tell us, y'know, even if you aren't completely our Gem."

"No, I can't," Gem muttered, just a tad too loud. She tensed, eyes widening at the indiscretion. That.. that was foolish.

She could already tell that this was a fatal error, could already feel the horrible aftermath pounding through her skull, countless realities shrieking of betrayal and fear and death. Death. Gods, that scared her. Faintly, beyond the swirling multitudes of her mind, Gem could hear her own panicked breaths, worried voices and hands on her arm and-

"I.. I'm sorry- I- I lied, I lied about everything- oh stars I'm such a fool- I- I'm gonna die I don't want to die oh stars- I had to do it I had to I don't want to implode I can't hurt anyone again- oh jeez- pl- please don't hurt me- I didn't wanna hurt everyone I didn't want to fake it all but I had to- I-"

A pair of hands grabbed her shoulders, firm, accompanied by two blue eyes staring into her own. Gem drew in a shaky breath, staring into the endless night those eyes seemed to contain.

"Gem. We aren't going to hurt you—we just wanna know what's goin' on. I.. we're worried about you, Gemmy, and ya can't just bottle everythin up. So please. What's wrong?"

Gem sighed, gathering the few shreds of nerve she could manage within her mind. "I.. I'm- I've been hiding my.. second life here. And my past. And… and everything else. I.. I lied about so much-" A sharp sob bubbled up in her chest, releasing itself in a nearly painful whimper. "Everyone's gonna hate me.. oh stars, what am I gonna do-"

"They're- they're not gonna hate you, Gem. We'll make sure nothing bad happens. Right Impulse?"

Impulse, who'd at some point crouched down next to her, nodded, before pulling Gem into a hug, which Pearl joined only a moment later.

"Th.. thanks guys.. promise you won't tell anyone, though. I… I've seen how people react to everything and…" she trailed off, shuddering at the images which flitted through her mind—anger and fear, destruction and death, all the things she'd worked so hard to avoid.

Pearl nodded. "I.. I get it. I've had a rough go of it too, if I'm being honest. We'll keep you safe though."

"Yea, we'll make sure nobody can lay a hand on our Gem, no matter what. We love ya, and aren't gonna let someone hurt one of our own." Impulse paused a moment, before adding, "Besides, if you're gone, who're we gonna play soup roulette with?"

Gem let out a soft laugh at the question, head shaking with an imaginary disdain. "Oh, Impulse."

She was safe for now, hidden behind the love of friends who barely understood what she'd done. Some part of her knew they'd hate the full her, knew the disgust and fear she'd earn upon admitting her crimes. She'd already said too much, even without the knowledge of what she was. It had been a mistake.

Silently, between the laughter of friends she knew would turn away, she told herself she would say no more, vowed silent to bury the truth as deep as she could and never touch it again. It…it was for the best. It was for their safety. Right?