#anyway fuck crowder

[xoivy]

steven crowder when he sees his employees

[mudkipper]

Timothy Olyphant and Walton Goggins in Justified (2010-2015)

[idlesuperstar]

My. Sounds like a love story.

[master-gatherer]

So I'm drafting a list of lefty YouTube recommendations and being frustrated b/c we had the beginnings of a leftist network on YouTube. LeftTube existed. And it was torn apart by LeftTube.

Like we are way fucking behind here. Not just that, but it seems we're further behind than we were just four years ago, let alone eight. All because we eat our own.

[lbctal]

soooo was anyone else emotionally effected by the end scene of the i of the storm (s2e3) or was it just me lol

[heartssheep]

I think the reason I’m not so fond of most Proship/anti discourse is because a lot of it reads as something you see on Jubilee. Discourse isn’t debate. It doesn’t follow the rules of debate and usually both sides aren’t on the same playing field (a lot of anti shippers don’t really care to have these discussions in the first place and I feel as proshippers only have these discussions because they want to one up teenagers, who mind you, don’t even know how to use advanced google search yet) and it’s a lot easier to quote tweet random teenager 1789th and call them a puriteen with like 70 followers than quote tweet Matt fucking Walsh.

It makes sense too. Proship/anti discourse was started in 2016/17 (I’d know I was there) when a lot of “debate” culture was becoming more popular. I see bad takes from both sides. I see takes from anti shippers based purely off emotion and takes from proshippers that is really the consequence of fandom millennials getting all their theory from tumblr fandom blogs and abo fanfiction.

[dragonflylady77]

people like us

So... yesterday (today? timezones, man...) was @thissortofsorcery's birthday and I decided around 5pm that I'd write a fic for her.

2502 words later... read on Ao3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTIE!!!

Summary:

Billy apologizes, Robin helps Steve with something, then she helps Billy with something.

Steve was standing against his car when he spotted Hargrove walking towards him. He planted his feet, crossing his arms over his chest and waited. It had been a couple of months since the fight at the Byers’ and they’d both done a good job avoiding each other.

He’d heard from Dustin that Max had told the gang Billy was sticking to his word and staying out of her way. The guy didn’t seem to hang around Tommy and his clique anymore and Steve wondered who he was hanging out with. He wasn’t sure why he wondered, but he did.

Hargrove stopped a couple of feet away, taking a deep drag on his cigarette before dropping it on the ground and crushing it with his boot. “Harrington.”

“Hargrove,” Steve said, his face showing none of the turmoil he was feeling inside. He wondered what had compelled him to press a finger to Billy’s chest that night, but he couldn’t get out of his head how warm and soft Billy’s skin had been.

“I took it too far that night, and for that I am sorry. My dad, um, my dad made it very clear that I needed to bring Maxine home and when you lied to me about it and wouldn’t let me take her with me, I saw red. That wasn’t your fault, but you have to agree that a thirteen-year-old girl had no business being alone with a bunch of boys at night in a house in the middle of nowhere.”

Steve felt his face heat up. “That’s not… I mean… I don’t…” he sputtered. What the fuck ?

“Yeah, I know that now, but you gotta admit it looked dodgy as hell. Anyway, you don’t have to forgive me or anything, but I wanted to say I’m sorry I made your face my punching bag.”

“Oh, um, okay.” Steve was having a hard time processing.

Billy nodded. “See ya.”

A car door slamming shut snapped Steve out of his trance and he realized Hargrove had left while he was staring into space. He heard the bell and swore under his breath, grabbing his bag out of his car before running towards the school.

The day passed in a daze and last period found Steve in the library for his tutoring session. His English teacher had arranged for someone from his AP class to help Steve with his college essays. Steve couldn’t ask Nancy anymore, obviously, things were too awkward. Part of him hoped it would be Billy Hargrove, though he doubted the new King of Hawkins High would want to spend more time with a washed out loser like Steve…

“Steve Harrington?” a decidedly female voice said next to him and he sat up, blinking. 

“Yes?”

“Hi. I’m Robin Buckley. Mr. Crowder asked me to help you with your college essays.” Robin sat in the chair next to him, dumping her backpack in the chair next to her. She pulled out a purple pencil case that was bursting at the seams and turned to him expectantly. “Well?”

“Well, what?” Steve had no idea what was going on and he was sure it showed on his face. This girl would no doubt tell everyone he was an idiot.

“Show me. Your essay.”

“Oh, right.” Steve reached in his bag and pulled out a slightly mangled sheet of paper. He passed it to Robin and tried to ignore the face she made as she flattened the sheet with her hand. “Sorry,” he mumbled, looking down at his hands on the table.

“It’s okay.” 

Steve felt her shrug then she started reading, a red pen at the ready. She read it slowly, clearly taking her time, and rereading it a few times as well. The amount of red marks on his essay made Steve wonder why he’d bothered at all.

Once she was done, she put her pen down and looked at Steve, an apologetic look on her face. “Okay, Steve. Um, it’s not all bad. You have some good ideas in there, but the execution is, um, shall we say, clunky.”

Letting out a groan that earned him a glare from the librarian, Steve crossed his arms on the table and hid his head in them. “I suck, I know.”

“Do you even want to go to college?” Robin asked, her voice muffled.

Steve shrugged. He was tired of his father yelling at him about his shit grades, his lack of prospects if he didn’t get into college, even how short-sighted he had been breaking it off with the Wheeler girl. Life sucked, and now he was kinda maybe having daydreams about what it would feel like to kiss Billy Hargrove.

“Ugh,” was the answer he gave Robin, lifting his head to peer at her. “My dad won’t shut up about it, threatens to cut me off if I don’t get in somewhere. But this study thing? Not sure it’s for me, yanno. Senior year is hard enough. From what all my teachers are saying, I’ll be lucky to graduate.”

“What are you going to do then? Work for your dad?”

“Ha!” Steve scoffed. “As if the great Richard Harrington, Jr. would stoop so low as to give his dumbass son a job in his successful empire.”

“Wow, okay… well, I work at Melvald’s on the weekend and they’re looking for a delivery boy. You have a car, you should apply. Don’t tell your dad and earn your own money.”

“Why are you helping me? I mean, you seem great, don’t get me wrong, but we don’t even know each other…”

“Everyone in the school knows who you are, Steve… but I don’t know.” Robin shrugged. “You don’t seem to have many friends and you look sad a lot.”

Steve had nothing to say to that. Her assessment was almost spot on. “I have friends…” he mumbled, embarrassed.

“Middle schoolers do not count, Steve, I don’t care what they tell you to get rides everywhere.”

“How do you know about that?” Steve sat back in his chair, staring. What the hell? Who was this girl and how did she know so much about him?

“I’m in the school band, dingus. I’m as good as invisible. And I’m very observant. For example, I saw you and Billy Hargrove have a chat this morning.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. It surprised me because, last I’d heard, he was leaving you alone after he bashed your head in, last November.”

“He, um, he came to apologize for that, actually.”

“Nice. So… are you going to see him again?”

“What? What are you—no!” Steve looked around, checking to see if anyone was paying attention to them. Thankfully, the few students in the library seemed busy with their own things and they were far enough away that they wouldn’t have heard Robin. “No, it’s not like that,” he whispered furiously, inwardly shushing the little voice in his head saying that he would like it to be.

“Awww, you’re blushing… Your secret is safe with me.” Robin leaned closer and whispered, “I love a good enemies to lovers romance.”

Steve couldn’t make words, he could barely breathe, his mind stuck on a loop of ‘ whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck ’ until the bell rang, moments later, snapping him out of it. He heard someone walk in, the stomping of boots familiar as hell, and he whipped his head to look, even if he already knew. Throwing Robin a small smile, he grabbed his essay from the table and shoved it in his bag. “I have to go.”

He forced himself to walk past Hargrove on his way to the exit, nodding back when Hargrove nodded, and managed to stop himself from running all the way to his car. He sat in his BMW, shaking like a leaf, trying to get his breathing under control before the kids showed up.

*****

“What was that about, Bird?” Billy asked Robin as he sat in the chair Harrington had just vacated. He tried not to react to the residual warmth of the plastic, considering who had been sitting on it. He failed.

“Not sure yet, my sweet. Crowder asked me to help Harrington with his college essay, and, hoo boy, he needs all the help he can get.” She smiled at him. “How was your day since your little chat with our former king this morning?”

Billy groaned, low enough that the librarian didn’t hear, leaning back in the chair. “Ugh. Of course, you know about that.”

“I was literally in the parking lot, and watched the painfully awkward encounter with my own eyes when I was chaining my bike.”

“Painful is accurate.” Billy rubbed both hands over his face then looked at Robin. He knew he was lucky they’d found each other. The two resident queer secret besties.

The basketball team had had an away game a couple of weeks after Billy had arrived in Hawkins. Unlike the cheerleaders, the band traveled with them. As the new guy on the team, Billy’d been assigned the last bed available, sharing a room with the member of the marching band that no one wanted to room with. 

Robin had told him as soon as the door had closed that she knew about his crush and that he needed to be more careful. Once Billy had recovered from the shock, they’d spend the night talking, exchanging stories and tips on how to appear less queer than they actually were. On the bus back to Hawkins, they’d gone into details about their current crushes, vowing to help each other. Billy had agreed to pose as Robin’s boyfriend in front of her parents, so they’d stop asking her about gross boys, and he was able to drop Robin’s name and keep Neil off his back—about the queer thing at least.

“I asked him what you said to him, and he said you had apologized.”

“I did.” Didn’t Robin say she had witnessed the interaction?

“Uh huh, that’s great, I’m proud of you, but wha—”

“Wow, you don’t have to sound so enthusiastic…” Billy deadpanned, hearing Robin’s complete lack of interest.

“Shut up. I asked him if he was going to see you again, and he blushed. He turned bright red, in front of my eyes, my sweet.”

“And?” Billy said, confused. What was Robin getting at?

“He didn’t deny it, he looked so flustered then you walked in and he ran off.”

“Again, and?”

“I think you should go to his house and, and, do that thing you do, you know, with your eyelashes and your mouth.”

“Flirting?”

“Yes, that. Go now, while he’s still all in a state. It’s your best chance.”

“Bird…”

“Fly, my pretty, go get your love,” Robin said, and she honest to god giggled. 

Billy rolled his eyes but had no choice but to do what she said because she started shoo-ing him and the librarian was now looking in their direction. 

He parked a couple of houses down from the Harringtons’ fancy mansion and made his way to the front door, ringing the bell and waiting. No matter what Robin had said, he really didn’t think Steve would open the door. He took a slow spin, taking in the surroundings, noticing the overwhelming amount of greenery in this part of town, especially compared to Cherry Lane.

“Billy?” Steve’s shocked voice said behind him. “What, um, what are you doing here?”

Billy turned around, taking in the soft looking sweater and joggers Steve was now wearing. “I came to see you, pretty boy. Robin said you needed some help and, well, here I am.”

“You… Come in already, it’s freezing out.” 

Steve moved to let Billy in and closed the door behind him. “ You want to help me ?” His tone was saying one thing but the way his eyes swept over Billy were saying another.

Billy took the two steps separating them, crowding Steve, but not quite touching him.

“You bet, pretty boy,” he whispered in the gap between them. “In any way I can…” He let his eyes drop to Steve’s mouth before making eye contact again. This close, he could see the flakes of gold in the brown. He wondered what Steve’s chocolate eyes would look like in the early morning sunlight.

Steve’s hands were on his jaw before Billy could react as Steve pulled Billy to him, slanting their mouths together. The surprised gasp that breached Billy’s lips was all Steve needed to slide his tongue in Billy’s mouth. 

The shock of Steve making the first move only lasted a moment. Billy wasted no time pressing Steve’s body against the door, his hands reaching under the hem of his sweater. His fingers encountered warm naked skin and Billy moaned.

“Fuck, Steve…”

“Not on the first date,” Steve said with a smile, burying his hands in Billy’s hair and pressing their foreheads together.

“Could be a date,” Billy replied, sliding a thigh between Steve’s legs, his heart rate picking up speed when he felt Steve grow hard against him.

“Billy…”

Billy never thought that hearing a guy whine his name would get him hot under the collar, but today was fraught with new and unexpected experiences.

“Yeah, baby, I’m here. I’ve got you. What do you need?” he asked Steve, nibbling along Steve’s jaw, before mouthing at the column of his neck.

“You. Me. Naked. My bed.”

*****

“Billy?” Steve asked, his head resting on Billy’s chest, fingers drawing patterns along his barely visible treasure trail. Billy had gone down on him then Steve had given his first ever blow job and he was pretty sure Billy had enjoyed it. He hoped Billy would let him do it again.

“Yeah?” Billy’s hand on Steve’s back didn’t stop; Steve took comfort in that.

“I… Robin said something earlier, about enemies to lovers romance and I want you to know, this isn’t an experiment for me.”

“No?” Billy’s voice was devoid of emotion and Steve didn’t like it.

“I really like you, Billy. I know what happened in November happened, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”

“Steve…”

“What I’m saying is, I know we can’t go out on dates, because it’s dangerous for people like us, but if you wanted, we could hang out here. Order in. Make out in the hot pool my parents installed last year.”

“I like your idea, Stevie, a lot.”

“So you’ll stay?”

Instead of answering with words, Billy flipped them over so he was on top, his hands in Steve’s hair holding him still as he licked into Steve’s mouth. Steve’s hands found Billy’s hips, helping the rolling rhythm that made them both groan and gasp. They never stopped kissing, moving against each other until they both reached their peak.

The ensuing shower to clean the mess that covered them both took so long that they ran out of hot water but they didn’t care. 

With the help of a little birdie, they’d found each other, and, well, that was worth all the cold showers in the world.

[kevinthetarotreader]

In the 2005 martial arts action movie “The Protector” (called Tom Yum Goong in the original Thai), there’s a scene where the protagonist faces off against a Capoeira master in a burning Buddhist temple that’s been flooded by the sprinkler system.

The protagonist has thus far been ploughing through hordes of armed and unarmed henchmen using Muay Thai to elbow and knee everybody with a face. Here however, he is suddenly thrown completely off his game by the shirtless man seen in this picture throwing a strong kick while in the middle of a fucking hand stand.

Up until this point, none of the antagonists or their lackeys really managed to outclass the protagonist, until here, except via cheap shots. The Capoeira fighter (played by Lateef Crowder, and actual Capoeira master who has cross trained in other martial arts) walks up to the protagonist and immediately manages to stun him with a feint and kick to the head. He manages to keep Tony off balance, overwhelming him with a combination of spinning kicks, sneaky sweeps, and overall evasiveness, even nearly knocking him out with a sudden boot to the chin.

Shit was sick, frankly.

Unfortunately, Lateef Crowder tears his Achilles tendon doing a pair of flips, and another stuntman from his team has to finish the scene for him.

I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME FIND IT, BUT I SAW AN INTERVIEW WITH LATEEF CROWDER WHERE HE SAID THAT IF HE DIDN’T GET INJURED DURING THIS SCENE, IT WOULD HAVE CONTINUED WITH HIM BEATING TONY BEFORE FINALLY BEING OVERCOME AT THE END OF THE MOVIE AND I REMAIN ENRAGED THAT I WON’T GET TO SEE THIS VERSION OF THE MOVIE

Anyways, the main point of this two card spread was to illustrate the feelings this scene initially conveyed: of the unorthodox attacking the conventional from unexpected angles. Tarot began as a card game, and card games are games of strategy, seeking advice on how to change your strategy up to approach problems, people, and furious Muay Thai fighters trying to save their poached elephants, is a valid and useful means of using divination to its fullest.

[wndaswife]

does the book you're reading mention anything about Candy's lawyer being that unhinged or is the actor playing him just like good at being theatrically evil ?

oh do let me get started on don crowder that man is the goat and tom pelphrey plays him rlly rlly well

in childhood he was pretty scrawny but known for getting into many fights, he was aggressive and eventually became a really good football player until he was forced to retire because of an injury that put him at risk for permanent blindness

as a lawyer he won nearly every case he took up besides the ones where he got too cocky and ended up losing. he continuously continued to talk to the media about candy’s case because (they didn’t entirely show this in love & death) there was a huge back and forth between the police leaking info and purposely slandering candy’s reputation to the media, so against what he was advised he continued to make aggressive statements towards the police because what they were doing annoyed him

he respects and almost looks up to judge ryan because of how equally aggressive he can be and though they don’t get along, he is a man who stands his ground and who can handle his assertiveness. he also does like candy a lot and besides her being an active member of the church that don funded, he first started having lots of respect for her when she and pat invited don and his wife out to a club and he saw how she was completely different when she was dancing, pulling people up to dance with her and being super charismatic etc. he realized that there was more to her than being a texan housewife and he liked that a lot

he also kept talking about how he wanted to look tan for the actual court hearing and went on runs and worked out enough so that he would look good once it started. and the hostile thrill of the case reminded him a lot of being on a football field, which he liked

also they did not show this in love & death but candy actually had one more affair when she was getting over allan and told pat that it didn’t matter if she fucked a hundred men because she won’t do it again (which was said in the show but in a different context) and i also rlly liked that because it sort of seemed women’s rights-y because like… back then infidelity was like worse than murder practically

anyways i love him

[astrancva]

@hollowedchest // tim and katie (random starter that i couldn't get out of my head)

"Hey, Tim. You know how I told you this morning that I was going out to Harlan for a home visit? Well, the asshole's buddies fucked with my car so I'm sorta stuck here. Some dude who owns a bar offered to let me hang out until you can come get me. He offered to drive me back, but...yeah. Anyway, guy who runs the place is named Crowder? Do you know this place? Okay I'm rambling now. Let me know if you're getting me or if I need to call someone from the office. Okay bye."

Katie rings off and heads back to the counter and the beer the owner had pulled out for her. On the house he said since he couldn't ask her to pay when she had a rough go of it. "I really appreciate the help, Mr. Crowder." Fingers curl around the bottle and she brings it to her lips for a pull. "This wasn't exactly the way I thought I was going to spend my afternoon."

Across from her, the man grins, showing off a set of pearly whites like Katie hadn't ever seen on a hillbilly. "No need to thank me, ma'am. It's the least I could do to make up for the hell our less savory denizens put you through. You can stay here long as you like until your brother gets here from Lexington. He's a marshal, you said?"

[lemonmatronics]

Anyways I said I’d do it so here

Did you ask for how Bad Crowder babies worked!? Well, one of you did. And when it comes to BC fans that’s like,, what a quarter of the community? So, it’s enough

Anyways starting from the brith

I think all of us agree now that they lay eggs. We do? Okay great well they fuckin lay eggs.

How does the baby break out of the shell? Well damn sweetie they’ve all got snaggle teeth for a reason! That’s right, they’re all born with one tooth that sticks out to help they break out of the shell. And the shell is tough as fuck so, yeah they definitely need it.

I also like to think their eggs have spots on them, I just think it’s cute.

The time the egg stays in the parent is completely dependent on their size.

The whole process from conceiving to hatching also depends on that factor.

Going from the small to large range, it can probably take up to only 6 months or a whole year and a half. An average size crowder being somewhere in the middle of that

The actual babies?

Literally just little animal creatures. Mfs don’t open their eyes for a week and for their first year are just bigger kittens basically.

They typically start talking after they learn to walk, after about a year, and communicate through purrs, coos, hisses, cries, ect until then

Their teeth grow in pretty sharp and can handle solid foods pretty quickly after that

Babies get reeeeally attached to their parents and hate being alone/leaving their side. Sooo a baddie baby is a full time job.

Ironically it’s after they start to drop the animalistic behavior that they develop their claws. Though still like animals, their claws can be removed,,,and it SUCKS. Don’t fucking do that!! It stunts the growth in their hands dramatically and takes away one of their defenses. HEAVILY frowned upon to do that there

Bonus I think they also have scruffs in the back of their necks like cats do.

Anyways that’s all I got from the top of my head rn but I love pondering these sorta things so, if you have any asks shoot em at me

[saintofpride201]

And here I thought people hated her because of the constant lies, the war crimes, the back alley deals, the general reputation of the Clintons, etc but idk.

Where the fuck did "not being a dutiful wife" come from anyway? I don't think anyone (maybe save for Steven Crowder at some point because, well, Steven Crowder) has ever commented on her status as a "good/bad wife".

Look, I know people's experience/perception of things varies, but I cannot for the life of me understand how you could see the most qualified and historic presidential candidate there has ever been lose to the LEAST qualified, aggressive, violent, fascist, racist, anti-democratic lunatic to ever stain the office with his cheeto-dusted fingers, just because people thought she was "shrill" or "I just don't like her for some reason" or had internalized decades of GOP smears of her for Not Being a Good First Lady/Dutiful Wife, and still go "yeah, I don't really think misogyny and/or racism plays that big of a role in American perceptions of/feelings about public figures."

[finecutvoidsalt]

reflecting on my education in middle and high school is fucking wild. like it's a miracle i didn't become some kind of fascist with how they were prepping me to fall down the far right pipeline. christian private schools will literally just teach you anything huh

like I just had a memory beam into my head of my history teacher teaching us that andrew jackson was actually totally cool and that he was only held back by those pesky laws that didn't let him genocide ALL the natives. like what the fuck is that. how did I hear that and think it was normal. trick question it's because i was a (undiagnosed autistic) child and my brain was squishy enough that I was still absorbing everything authority figures told me as absolute truth. even if something sounded wrong, everyone else around me says it's ok, so I guess it is?? type shit

thank fuck I had a genderfluid friend in high school. Eren if you're out there I need you to know you probably saved me from becoming an ultra far-right dumbass, you actually got me thinking about other groups of people as actually PEOPLE. we were already friends before they realized they were genderfluid and (very patiently) explained the concept to me. my autistic ass was like "wait people can feel like their gender? It's not just a label that's arbitrarily placed on you and you just accept it?" and THAT took me a hot minute to figure out (tbh I still don't really understand because I've never felt that strong of a connection to my own gender, but I understand enough that it is important to a lot of people and to be respectful and that's what matters most I think. so thank you for that eren)

but still, that was only my first, tiniest baby step out of the hyper-religious and conservative bubble I was raised in. i try not to be too angry at past-me for all the bullshit I believed in, I was very much a product of my environment and I did change once I was exposed to other people and religions, but. man. I was looking though old school assignments a while back (and yes I still have them because I have a weird fear of throwing away certain things like homework/paperwork, regardless of the fact that I'm no longer in school), and WOW that shit was racist as hell. holy fuck. WHY was I taught that the Catholic crusades were a good thing????

Also I was exclusively taught that Capitalism Good and Communism Evil. we read Ayn Rand and were told that the invisible hand was awesome and that all governmental regulations on economics are terrible. also taxes are bad. poor people deserve to live the way they do because they are just Bad With Money and the government shouldn't support them financially because uhhhhh reasons. If I was talking to a Church Person they would follow that up with "the church should be the ones supporting the poor, not the government" and I would be like "so why aren't churches supporting the poor" and they'd be like "well not all churches follow the bible like Us, The True Christians" and then I respond "so who is supporting the poor if the government shouldn't be allowed to and the churches won't?" and they would say "uhhhhh why don't you go hang out with the other teens ahaha"

huge shout out to this one girl I knew in my old church, who managed to see past all the bs and was a very staunch feminist. girl I am SO sorry for all the stupid shit I said to you. I my brain was poisoned from all the indoctrination and steven crowder I was watching on youtube. Society IS fucked and I'm sorry I was so annoying about being like "um well, acktually, statistically—" god I was so fucking stupid. She's still out there being a leftist/feminist icon somewhere cause I heard her family being like "she needs prayers for her to Return To God". although there's also the chance she's a terf now or something, can't discount the fact that she was also raised hyper religious and to hate trans people, that shit sticks in your brain if you don't take steps to address it

ANYWAY all this to say, thank FUCK I escaped that line of thinking. so thankful to all the online communities that opened me up to left leaning politics and supporting LGBTQ+ people, and even more thankful to all my LGBTQ+ friends who have been patient with me (and welcomed me into the community!! shout out to my other aroaces) and answered my questions in good faith over the years, I'm genuinely trying to be better <3 I'm under no illusions that I'm finished learning, I'm sure there's still plenty of shit beliefs hiding somewhere in my psyche that I haven't figured out yet, but I'm staying open to change and to listening to others' experiences and beliefs!!

[readbythestarlight]

Been reading my way through Elmore Leonard’s Raylan stories and I am obsessed with the fact that Fire In The Hole begins and ends with this point.

[lbctal]

y’all mind if i yap about the walton gq interview a bit?

okay shoutout to my friend ash for manifesting this interview after danny did his LMAO

FIRST THOUGHTS: WHERE THE FUCK IS VENUS???

if you asked me his most iconic characters, venus is absolutely in the top three. how the fuck do they mention BILLY CRASH and JAY WHITTLE but not VENUS VAN DAM???? fuck whoever came up with this list.

now that that’s out of my system, let’s go in order, shall we?

lee russell: ty walton for describing russell fucking perfectly. him and i are the only people who understand russell. (jk) ALSO YESSS THE DUCK LIPS BUT SIR CAN YOU SAY A LINE. PLEASEEE. on my knees. MOST IMPORTANTLY; WALTON SHIPS GAMBYRUSSELL. FUCK YESSSS 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 LOVE WINS

cooper howard: snore. i’m so fucking bored of this guy. are we not tired of hearing shit about the goddamn ghoul. moving on.

shane vendrell: STOP MAKING ME WATCH LEM DIE. CHRIST. but thank you again walton for focusing more on the shield than on your biggest piece of shit character!! and when he started talking ‘psychological condition’ it reminded me of how i’m like almost certain shane is bipolar. wonder if he’d agree w me on that? anyways.

boyd crowder: WHYYYY DO THEY HAVE TO PLAY THE FINAL SCENE HOLY FUCKING SHIT I ALMOST CRIED AGAIN. so thankful to mr. olyphant for convincing walton to do justified. their chemistry IS SO PALPABLE. his love for boyd and raylan and justified in general is so fucking precious to me and it makes the show so much more special and it would absolutely not be justified if it weren’t for his spectacular input. i could listen to him blab on about that show all fucking day, it’s the whole reason i love him. beautiful fucking words to describe it. just speechless. much love to this man. ‘raylan givens is an asshole. but he’s my asshole.’ WE KNOW YOU’RE THE ORIGINAL RAYLANBOYD SHIPPER, BABE. 🩶

baby billy freeman: this bit was JAM PACKED w info and i loved it sm. really shocked they just came up w him on the spot but you could really tell cuz he’s like the perfect combination of walton’s ideas and danny’s ideas cultivated into this old man. too bad he didn’t mention that he was inspired by his dad again, lol.

billy crash: this part was like a bit confusing to me cuz i have heard different stories about how he got the role from other sources but it’s good to get some confirmation. pretty akin to what i heard, though. also giggled a bit when he said you don’t change what quentin writes cuz tarantino himself said ‘someone’ wanted to change the ending of django. but y’all didn’t hear that from me, lmao. always love to watch billy crash writhing in pain. :)

chris mannix: also a lot of new info for this one!! although i already knew about all the drama about h8 and the leak and all that, it’s interesting to hear the process the actors went through. would’ve paid millions to hear him do his voice. also why is he gatekeeping info, UGH. all i wanna know is if he had an encounter with tarantino’s punsihment dildo for falling asleep on set. lmfao.

the hero / jay whittle: okay, at first i was kinda pissed that he got a spot instead of venus, but this might’ve been my favorite segment aside from boyd’s. I never really find anything about him talking about his time on set of I’m a virgo so this was such a nice treat. i LOVE how he approaches each one of his characters, it’s so special and is why each one of them are so special and different from any other character you’ve ever seen. the wig story was fucking hilarious and it’s just so sweet how he says let’s figure this person out together. such a wonderful guy. it is SUCH a BEAUTIFUL story with a POWERFUL message and i adore how he recognized that. and the way he described jay? CHEF’S FUCKING KISS. mid-life crisis superhero who behaves like an alcoholic and is incapable of seeing different than his own pov? walt, you’re a fucking genius. his closing statement was absolute beauty.

anyways thanks for reading my ramble.

JUSTICE FOR MY GIRL VENUS

[selfishsoulstm]

HOLY FUCK IT’S 1:30AM AND IM TIPSY AND NOW I WANT TO WRITE

WHY BRAIN WHY

ALSO I JUST HAD TO GOOGLE TO MAKE SURE BRAIN WAS SPELLED BRAIN AND NOT BRIAN. I SHOULD NOT BE WRITING