#anyway dont remember what prompted this but it was a really funny post until i saw movie toothless. let book toothless do wild shit

[squirrelno2]

It's been years since the How to Train Your Dragon movie came out and yet I still experience extreme excitement and then extreme letdown when people reference Toothless only for him to be large and black instead of tiny, green, and capable of language

Anyway I invite everyone to consider that all toothless posts are ten times funnier when you replace movie Toothless with book Toothless thank you for your time

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk: Vlive Asks and comment/chat discussions

From @cottoncandykings​: Hello! As u probably know jimin just went live recently and again he mentioned mandaggo and discussing about doing it with tae. I just find it so weird though. I mean jimin keeps constantly mentioning it and its not like vminnies were begging or dying for a vmin live everyday even before jimin mentioned it last year. Even now most including myself dont really care that much ofc i m happy if they do one together. But the way jimin keeps mentioning it is so weird. Like surely if he wanted to do it so badly he could have talked to tae privately and arranged it by now. And if tae is the one that doesnt want to do it then idk why jimin is pushing it. But what was really weird to me this time was that he said there were lots of comments about mandaggo yesterday in zoom call and yet they didnt mention it yesterday but suddenly today without prompting he talks about it. I also hope no one spammed the zoom call chat or the vlive chat with requests for vmin live (i didnt see any) bcoz thats just unnecessary and demanding. I hope vminnies wont demand/ ask for another memeber when one of them is live. Its just disrespectful. This turned into a rant sorry. Do you think it was weird too?

Since Admin 2 can’t type their thoughts themselves, I’ll relay their thoughts to you instead, since they had more thoughts/opinions/ideas in regard to this than I do, to be honest.

Admin 2 is sure that there is a good chance that we will get a vmin vlive sometime soon, which I know contradicts their original opinion and post from a few months ago, but there’s a reason for it. During the zoom meeting between BTS and ARMY they noticed something I don’t think anyone else noticed, or at least neither of us has seen any vminnies mention it anywhere, which in conjunction with Jimin’s vlive today and saying how he’d talk to Tae about doing a mandaggo vlive again, as well as another observation a little while ago, leads them to this conclusion.

So, the observation from the zoom meeting. Basically at one point when the question of Jimin doing a vlive arose Tae looks at Jimin and then he nods while smiling which in turn makes Jimin smile as he turns away from Tae and back to face toward the camera before answering the question and saying how he’ll come visit us the next day. Which he did.

Then the other observation from a while ago, this one being from their OT7 vlive celebrating their BBH100 #1 on June 29th where at one point Jimin says something but slips into satoori after which Tae encourages him to say that again but this time in the Seoul accent, so the way they actually should speak, which Jimin says isn’t difficult but he doesn’t actually end up repeating what he said.

And lastly in today’s vlive Jimin mentioned how he’s using satoori quite often but that he isn’t all that good at doing it on command or at teaching it to others, which is something he’d have to do for mandaggo but I’m sure he’d manage just fine if the time came for it.

Based on that Admin 2′s thoughts are basically that Jimin really meant it when he said, last year, that he’ll bring Tae around for a vlive, that it wasn’t a joke or a way to tease us with something he knew he wouldn’t be able to deliver, but rather that up until this point they weren’t quite sure how to do it. Which sounds a bit odd, I know, but what they mean is that if vmin were to just sit down in front of the camera and were supposed to just talk based on what the chat would give them, it would likely just turn out awkward and weird and no one, including them, would really have fun. Even more so when we take into account how idiotic the chat is during regular vlives so now imagine if those two were to do one together that’s just a casual chat. It would likely end up in disaster and honestly I wouldn’t wish it upon them to read all those awful comments that they would likely get, even worse ones than they already get normally, to be honest.

But now that the whole satoori thing was brought up, and Jimin actually mentioned mandaggo and wanting to bring it back after so many years, Admin 2 thinks that they must’ve finally figured out a solution to their problem, if you can call it that. Doing mandaggo would basically mean they would have an activity, something to do similar to how they did those ASMR videos for the Japanese Fan Club which were fun and cute, and so Admin 2 thinks that perhaps chances are we will finally get the vlive we’ve waited for so long (though like many others I’ve long given up the idea).

Another confirmation is that during his vlive today Jimin basically said that he only came by for a little while since they are quite busy and had to soon get ready for work with the other members but that he’ll return in two or three weeks for a more proper, longer, vlive. So, he could’ve treated today’s vlive as the promised one but instead he saw it more as a bridging one between the zoom meeting and the proper vlive he wants to do, so is it the farfetched to think that he had proper plans for a vlive, like doing mandaggo, but it just wouldn’t have worked out time wise today so he moved the actual vlive he wanted to make to a later date?

One last thing (well two actually) that has nothing to do with this question but Admin 2 wanted me to include it anyway is that one, have you noticed how Tae and Jimin were both on weverse around 3 am (until almost 4am (also both of them posting a comment to some post at 03:41 am KST)) one after the other (though with one day of a break in between them) recently and then also two, that Jimin was up until like 6 am (since he posted on weverse around that time) on the 8th and then during the zoom meeting Tae answered a question by saying that he’d been awake until 6 am the previous day (also the 8th) since he wanted to see the sunrise? Which is also something an anon mentioned to us. Curious, isn’t it?

From anon: I request both admins to please post this ask. So jimin wwnt live today and one of the accounts on twt posted a screen cap of them commenting 'touch your hair if vmin is real' in the live chat and jimin's reaction to it. Now idk if it is an edit or real. No matter i just want to say its not ok to bring up ships in front of the members no matter which ship it is. We dont know the reality of their relationship so lets not make them uncomfortable. Its not a joke. Its not funny. Be respectful the members are real people.

(Admin 1 taking over from this point onward) This ask nicely ties into the last one that’ll be further down in this post since they cover a similar issue of sorts. But let’s start with this one asking about, essentially, vlive comments and the things fans ask/comment, which also ties in with the above ask as well.

The thing with the vlive chat, and especially comments/questions that are like anon said, questions or “commands/requests” about touch your hair if XYZ ship is real or cough twice if you love XYZ member or, likewise, comments such as where is XYZ member or what are the other members doing, unfortunately those have been a steady and unchanging part of the vlive chat since basically forever. It’s been an issue on and off with different intensities though I feel like it’s gotten worse again this year. Particularly if we look back at the vlive Tae did with Hobi and Yoongi and how essentially the entire chat was filled with comments related to Xkook and not much else.

If my memory doesn’t fail me we once even had a situation some years ago (2016) where the chat during Hobi’s vlive was so bad, as in so full of questions about that other members instead of him, that you could see he was upset about it and eventually he handed over the vlive to Jimin, whom the chat had requested Hobi to visit, and Hobi just left. And I can’t blame him for it since the chat must’ve made him feel like basically no one cared about him so what was even the point of him being there, right?

Personally I’ve long given up looking at the comments during vlive because they just make me cringe and feel bad for the members, especially when I think back to vlives such as Yoongi’s D2 one last year where he was so excited to talk about the songs and the process of making the mixtape and yet so many of the comments were just unrelated nonsense and annoying request like speak english or can you say my name or say hello in XYZ language. If it makes me question why the people posting those questions are in the chat, why they are fans to begin with, imagine what the members must feel like, how discouraging that must feel like. After all they are musicians and yet so rarely do they get questions about that. Or rather they do get them but they are just drowned out by nonsense. Which is a shame. And also very disrespectful but any attempts that were made to remind people to be respectful, to remember their place as fans, to focus on the member that’s doing the vlive instead of asking about the others, and to keep ships away from the members have failed because some don’t care and will continue to not care.

From anon: what are your opinions on the Qs that were asked during that zoom meeting thing between BTS and ARMY?

Now I’d like to preface my answer to this last question by saying that by no means do my grievances come from a place of jealousy or anything. I’m very happy for all the ARMYs that won their spot, that they got to participate in the event and that BTS got to see ARMYs again even if only on screens and not in person still. No, my issue stems from something completely different, and I don’t want to say that the system chose the wrong people, because that would be mean and also who even knows how the winners were chosen, if it was pure luck or there were some actual criteria that went into the process, but the fact is that only a select 200 ARMYs got that spot out of however many that applied, so basically for some this was a once in a lifetime chance, right, even just getting this close to asking Bangtan a question and have really great chances of having them give you an answer while acknowledging you somewhat instead of just seeing pure words on a screen, you know what I mean?

Now imagine you are one of those 200 ARMYs and you get the chance to fill the chat with questions along with the other 49 participants of your session and you decide that asking questions such as what it’s like for Jimin to work as angel, if Namjoon ever broke a bicycle, or why JK smells the crowns of the other members heads? Or even worse, you decide to ask about JKs shower routine and in which order he washes his body? And sure, the “fault” doesn’t fall completely on the ARMYs alone, after all it’s the members who read out those questions and not some magical off screen entity, and since I wasn’t part of the event I can’t say with a hundred percent certainty that no one asked any “proper” questions, but if those were the questions that ended up being read out loud, is it that hard to guess that likely all the questions looked similarly? 

Which brings me to my main grievance of it all: have you forgotten that you are fans of musicians and not reality TV stars or vloggers/influencers? I know there were likely no rules for what questions you could or couldn’t ask (except for probably ones that were 100% about shipping or far too personal), but really, you get to ask your favorite band a question, something you might never, ever get the chance to do again, and your first thought isn’t to ask about their music but instead about some unimportant nonsense like the angel question or if they differentiate between the clothes they wear at home and those they sleep in? Like sure the angel one was kinda funny, maybe, and Jimin handled it in a cute way, I applaud him for it, but was that really necessary?

I know someone asked JK about Decalcomania, as well as Tae about his mixtape, and Yoongi/Jimin about Tony Montana (season 2), but other than that were there any other questions about their music? Perhaps I’m overthinking things, maybe I’m exaggerating and maybe I’m the only one who sees an issue with this, but if I would’ve won a spot, I’d rather have asked something about their process when writing lyrics or creating beats or how they prepare when learning new choreographies, what it’s like to be on tour (though perhaps that would be a mean question seeing as tours aren’t really something that’ll continue being possible for a while still), you get the point.

It makes me wonder if it was just bad luck or if it had something to do with how old the participants were (I saw some being as young as fifteen), which isn’t to say that teens can’t ask smart questions because they definitely can just like adults can ask stupid ones as well, but somewhere something, in my opinion, just went weirdly. And maybe that was the point of it all, for the event to be casual, funny, lighthearted, but my question then is when is the time for music discussions? For fans to ask those types of questions that actually have something to do with the boys careers? When even journalists aren’t asking them proper questions, ARMYs aren’t either, so what is the point of it all then?

Then again, after the event concluded and Seokjin came onto vlive he seemed so happy and excited, so maybe they had fun (I mean they seemed to have fun) and didn’t mind at all that the questions were lighthearted and silly, maybe I’m the one making mountains out of molehills. I don’t know, but anon wanted to know my thoughts/opinions, and this is them. Once again, I don’t mean to be mean toward the ARMYs that got rightfully in, that won, and I don’t want to insult them for the questions they asked, perhaps I just expected/hoped for something a little different? And perhaps I’m the only one. I don’t know. 

[macklives]

alright, im actually kind of in the mood to unpack some stuff regarding karkat's character and the way alternia works actually, so i dont mind giving this a go. and while act 5 isnt completely finished yet (so this is an analysis post for act 5 up until page 2305), there is still more to explore, and im pretty sure i have a lot more to read regarding both karkat AND alternia. until then, i will give a general layout as to what i know so far and how i can expand this in a psychological way (especially considering i did my psych exam so my mind is FRESH from studying)

alright, starting with what seems to be the deal with the hemospectrum, theres a total of 12 blood colors. HOWEVER, one of those blood colors is a "mutant" blood which is unwanted in troll culture as it is, well, "mutant", meaning whoever has this blood will get brutally slaughtered. hurrayyy. im guessing it is even lower than aradia's rust blood, as she is allowed to live but is the lowest on the hierarchy triangle. meaning karkats blood is not even ON the hierarchy triangle and simply buried underground where they hope he stays. so its not exactly pleasant to be living in a society where everyone is trying to KILL you or at least keep you away from everything.

from what i remember, troll reproduction is a vital aspect in their culture, that everyone is forced to mate and drones will come by each house to collect the genetic material. this is mandatory apparently, and if someone were to object, they will be “culled" as quickly as they could say no. alternia seems to be really keen on the whole "blood and carnage" thing, which means their probable solution to anybody breaking the law, is to kill them on sight and just leave them there to rot - regardless of who they are and what families they comes from or have. trolls are free to kill whenever or whoever they please without any governmental repercussions. which means revenge upon revenge happens without any policy.

however this is very important when looking at karkat, because karkat may not be able to do the whole reproduction process (not that we necessarily want him to, im saying this in terms of how its mandatory for every troll and there will be a time when the drones WILL come for karkat). but as he is already a mutant and if they were to "collect" from him, they would find out his blood regardless of how he hides it. they will either cull him for saying no, or cull him for his blood. karkat, in this sense, is doomed regardless. which makes his character much more interesting.

and keep in mind alternia kind of sucks, because from the looks of it, trolls are constantly tested throughout their lives to prove themselves to society that they are allowed to live and survive. but ONLY if they are the strongest among them. alternia wants to become this fearful planet where the weak die off and only those proven worthy can stay to grow up and slaughter more of their kind until the world is nothing but blood thirsty strong murderers. im not too sure who is governing alternia but they can suck a dick if they think this is how good morals work. alternia only really has one way to solve things which is to kill those who question/fight back, OR to kill those who CANNOT fight back essentially. which puts all the trolls through a double edged sword where they cannot do anything but follow the guidelines given to them by troll's society and government, and try to survive as much as they can until then.

if i remember correctly, when it comes to the law side of things. if you look at it from terezi's introduction where she explains prosecutions with her plushies (lemonsnout ect ect i forgot the term for them lol), she said "you are guilty until proven innocent" which is the polar opposite of "innocent until proven guilty” used in OUR own society today (tho i guess we are by far the "good guys" in this situation, but we are far different than how trolls live their lives). anyways, what this means is that everyone dies regardless unless theres literal proof that they have not done the crime. even so i wouldnt put it past them to do nothing about their case even WITH proof. terezi even goes to say that technically there is no way to deal with the law on alternia, and most of crimes get solved through death. she even demonstrates this by how easily she hung the "suspect" and flipped a coin to determine his fate. however, even with the coin landing on the side of safety, where the suspect were to be released, she said "im blind remember i cannot see this coin" and essentially "killed" him. while terezi may have just been playing with her plushies, theres something we can take from this which dictates how their actual court cases are actually solved.

NOW, vriska (yes ik pls bare with me here, i will not make it about vriska but i do have a point here), from the last few pages i saw, can basically kill her friends in an instant, without any remorse. i can tell she sees this as the most "necessary" solution for her problems. i wouldnt say its for survival, but she does do it as a way to provide some sort of safety on alternia. she is a higher blood, and apparently the high bloods are known to kill whoever they please as long as its convenient. and since trolls have this whole fad of "killing the ones who cause you trouble so the problem is out of the way", she is wired to think its the only solution when threatened or when you dislike a person. 

god, she killed aradia because she wanted "revenge", because she wanted to get back at aradia for tormenting her with ghosts EVEN IF aradia did so because she threw tavros off a cliff in the first place. this may have worsened their friendship, KEEP IN MIND THEY WERE FRIENDS, but NEITHER, and i mean neither terezi/vriska/aradia, had any remorse if the other dies as long as there was a reason. in the story, vriska didnt care what happened to tavros because she disliked him, therefore becoming pretty bias over his fate. because of this attempt at killing, aradia didnt care what happened to vriska either, and neither did terezi. terezi sold her out to one of the most powerful beings on their planet, solely because of their revenge cycle. as long as the troll in question did something "malicious”, then that plays a factor in their morals. vriska gave no second thought to killing both of her friends (or at least attempt to with tavros), terezi also tormented john in act 4 which led to his “doomed timeline death” and sold vriska out after she realized vriska wouldnt change. so no fucking WONDER karkat tries to hide who he is, he's overly cautious to not let it slip out because even the people he calls friends could backstab him at any given time considering theres LITERAL EXAMPLES OF THESE TROLLS HAVING DONE SO.

to karkat, he sees this as dangerous, which is why he even CALLS vriska dangerous to begin with. she might not even hesitate to kill him herself or maybe sell him out to the drones, because 1. she may not want to be a witness to something society actively seeks to destroy and 2. she cares more for her survival than karkats. EVEN if they were friends (re: aradia and vriska and terezi). so it just shows. 

on that note, i find it funny how karkat indirectly distracted vriska after she baited him with the question of his blood in a past conversation, which prompted karkat to monologue about troll romance. he was, yes, VERY interested in this topic to start with, but it was a nice little bonus for karkat as to not be found out by the one person who would most likely kill him even if it wasnt on purpose. however, we do not know how this will play out IF she does find out, we just know karkat is in the right to be scared of the theory.

and, alright i do have to mention this, while karkat may have been an angry fucker to START with, who spites the world and throws out insults every chance he gets, i feel he does this as more of a survival instinct as well. he doesnt care what he says to people no matter what they rank on the hemospectrum. they dont know his blood color so he feels he has some sort of immunity, but he just needs to keep it hidden. it also may just be his personality, as he IS a character who was given specific traits and andrew went along with it without so much thinking about plot. yet if you look at this from more of the metaphorical route, think about it with uhhhh lets say the perspective of how dogs work. for example, when you put a chihuahua next to a doberman, a doberman is more of an excited, energetic dog whereas a chihuahua will rain hell down on anybody who so goes near them. sometimes this is to make up for their size, to seem as menacing as the larger doberman, as they have nothing else to fend themselves with. another way to look at it is, if you see a bear (i forget if its black/brown or grizzly) you make yourself seem like the bigger person by scaring it off with sounds and eventually it will leave you alone. these sort of tactics work in the sense of survival. this is sort of what karkat could be doing, he uses insults and a defensive shouting to not really "hide" himself, but to have some sort of way as to not be found out if people start to question. someone asks him "hey karkat whats your blood" he goes "FUCK YOU, FUCK OFF, END OF STORY" which could make a person go "yo sorry dude forget i ever asked". so this could be a factor as to why he is so crabby, however on the other hand, he is crabby because that is also his character. andrew probably thought yo cancer = crab = crabby. however i do like how he is perceived and the whole "mutant blood" really made me do a double take on how he views life himself. he has to always hide who he is or he will get physically killed. alternia would take joy in finding out he does not belong there because lets face it, alternia is a bitch of a planet.

this also brought me to ask the question, why does karkat want to be a leader if hes so scared of what would happen to him if he were to be found out? which then, at first i said lol this is just karkat, he wants to a leader because he just wants to be the leader, he likes when things go to plan and that he the most say in their sburb plans considering he thinks everyone else is a "dumbass". to which, i then thought about it more and went ouch what if hes a leader because he knows hes not valued enough in society, that he somehow wants to feel some sort of importance in the world, so he wants to become a leader. i imagine younger karkat, not knowing why his blood is so undermined, finding out he is not wanted and suddenly on the most wanted list without having even DONE anything. even TAVROS said he was on that list, but only because he was weak and had no back-bone, here karkat may have been strong but no matter what, he was to be culled BECAUSE of his blood. something he cannot change no matter what. imagine a little kid knowing he will die at any point because of who he is (rlly sounds familiar if you think about it). so of course, he hides himself from the world, but do you think for an instant, little angry karkat wants to simply be FORGOTTEN about? i doubt that, he wants to be heard, he doesnt necessarily want to be rejected as he knows he will be, so while he does hide his blood, he wants to have a voice no matter what. when being a leader, people dont reject you, they LISTEN. they all may not want to because karkat is just a fucking ticking time bomb, who can lash out at any second, but i feel theres now a reason why he has this superiority complex. he wants to sort of become the person he knows he never will become (if you put it into that perspective). so thats kind of why im giving him the benefit of the doubt here.

i would also like to point out a sort of.... comparison?? not with the dogs but with unwanted children in a family household. this doesnt necessarily apply to karkat, but sub in family household with society and it might as well. (on that note, a warning/viewer discretion, if you have any problem with this kind of discussion, i wouldnt read further into this paragraph and skip to the next one) alright, the unwanted child psychology basically deals with the process of a child which is neglected by their parents, and/or know that they were never wanted in the family. i read an article a while back when we were discussing this in a lecture, we were browsing multiple people's perspective on the matter, and one said "An affective relationship may be suffocating to [the unwanted/neglected child]: it’s a defense against intimacy of which they know nothing. Normally they fluctuate between egotism and deep feelings of inferiority. They don’t understand what a balanced and healthy self-esteem looks like." it explains how the child who grows up in an unwanted home admits great emotion deprivation, because the child's bonds of affection are extremely fragile, and this can lead to both egotism and feeling like they are inadequate. and it really strongly shows karkats personality. we havent gotten that much from him in general, but considering how he uses this egotism to cover up the fact that he may be doomed, really shows the similarity. i liked this short article so i want to give some points to take into consideration, specifically this part: "It will be very difficult for unwanted children to build healthy relationships of affection in their adult life. Love is a foreign language to them. They don’t know how to decipher the codes and much less how to build them. It’s very hard for them to need and to be needed. That’s why, more often than not, they completely shirk their conflicts with peers and superiors, or do nothing but generate them. They speak incessantly about the broken relationship that marked their arrival in the world. A person with such a background will need help to get through those abysses of love that live in their heart. The most important step is that they recognize that their discomfort doesn’t depend on who they are, but the circumstances that led to their being." it may not be 100% tru for karkat but theres a small portion of it that can link back to karkats view on life and how being this mutant can really change who he is as a person. and i hope you can see the similarity between karkats character and this form of psychology. yet i also do not fully know the depth of karkat vantas. however i do hope it continues to build up in this way, as it would be both interesting and make us feel more for him as a person.

alright, i think if i write any more i will never stop aghjsk, which is a bit too much for a sunday afternoon, basically to sum up this post, trolls are violent and karkat will be killed if hes found out, even by his friends if it comes down to it. so karkat cannot really trust anybody, hes alone and imagine the thrill he had when he saw jack cut his hand to show the bright red blood? that he finally has someone LIKE HIM. imagine when he finds out about the kids. so i believe in his growth, while he needs to get a better vocabulary, i do get why hes so defensive all the time. because hes both scared and unwanted. and he wants to make up for it.

and i guess with all that being said, you can tell i now have a slight soft spot for the kid lmao

[rorynne]

Of Geese and Men

Square: College @clintbartonbingo

Rating: G

Warning: Fluff, Geese, Goose harassment. College au, Physics Homework

Pairing: Clint Barton/Reader

A/n: This is also part of @geosaurusrrex 2k milestone event with the prompt  “I need your homework because a goose ate mine. DONT ASK HOW”

Summary:  You were having an average day until Clint Barton decides to harass a goose.

You sat in the cafeteria eating your lunch and reading a book as you waited for your next class. It had been a rather typical day until a very wet, tall, vaguely familiar blond man approached you. You damn near jumped out of your skin when he slammed his hands down on the table, dripping water all over it. “You’re in Pym’s applied physics class.” He stated more than asked, which only served to confuse you more at his state. “I need your help.”

You blinked at the man, moving your things away from his dripping form as you tried to piece together what the hell was going on. “What?” was all that you managed to say to the man, completely dumbfounded. You had too many questions to know what to even begin to ask.

He huffed, carding his hand through his short hair. “I need your homework because a goose ate mine.”

Homework? Geese? What the hell was he even talking about? You shook your head, still reeling from the shock of it all, “How?”

“Don’t ask how!” He groaned, rubbing his face. “It’s a long story. I just need your homework, I’ve been doing the bare minimum in Pym’s class and I can’t afford to take a zero on it.” Slowly, things started to piece together. You remembered seeing him occasionally, rarely even, in your physics class, albeit in a much drier state. Clint was his name if you remembered correctly. But that wasn’t what mattered at the moment, instead, you were more focused on something else.

“We had homework?!” You squeaked out as you scrambled to take out your course syllabus from your bag.

“You’re kidding,” Clint said in horrified disbelief. “You’re the only person who even pays attention in his class. How could you not know? He assigned it a month ago.” You shot him a glare as the syllabus confirmed his claims. Two full chapters of course work due the day of the first test. You wanted to vomit. You had been working your ass off to get on the Dean’s list this semester. But now all of your efforts felt wasted, all because of one little mistake. If you weren’t so shocked, you’d cry.

Clint seemed to notice your distress, quickly changing his entire demeanor. “Hey, it’s okay.” He reassured. “It’s gonna be okay. We’ve got, what, two hours til Pym’s class?” He glanced at the clock on the wall, confirming the time with a nod. Looking back down at you, he picked up your bag from the table, “Come on, let’s get down to the library. We’ve got this.”

You looked at him, incredulous, was he seriously implying the two of you could get through a month’s worth of course work in two hours? You could count the number of times you had seen him in class on one hand. Did he even have any idea on how to properly do the homework? “You can’t seriously think we can complete two chapters in two hours.”

He shrugged, “It’s only one chapter if we split the work.” The way he said it made it seem like the easiest thing in the world. And strangely, you found yourself wanting to believe it. “Come on sweetheart, we don’t have all day, and neither of us wants our grades to tank right?”

You took a deep breath, “You’re right. And partial credit is better than no credit anyway.” You stood up and collected your things. “But,” you said, taking your bag from him. “I think the library has a wetness rule or two.”

He smiled sheepishly and surrendered your bag with a chuckle. “You make a fair point. I’ll meet you there. Just take what ever chapter you like more. I’ll take the scraps.” You nodded in response and hurried to the library as Clint dealt with his wet clothing.

It only took about ten minutes for Clint to join you in the library, much to your surprise. “What, did you sprint to the dorms? They’re at least 15 minutes away.” You commented, looking over Clint’s much drier form as he sat down.

He shook his head, his hair still noticeably damp. “I keep a spare change of clothes in my gym locker.”

You have him a look, “Does stuff like this happen often?” You questioned, vaguely concerned for the man’s life choices.

He took a deep breath, puffing out his cheeks before exhaling slowly. “More often than I’d care to admit.” He said before craning his neck over to see what you were working on. A smile spread across his lips as he read the chapter you were on. “You left me the trajectory chapter then?”

You looked down at your book and nodded, “Uh, yeah. I figured I would just start with the easier chapter.”

“Sweetheart, your gonna have to look at me when you talk.” He said, tapping his ear. “The lake water ruined my hearing aids.”

If his statement wasn’t so bizarre, you might have been embarrassed by your small blunder. “Excuse me, Lake water? What the hell did you exactly do?” You knew he had to have gotten wet somehow, but you didn’t expect it to be in the school lake. But then, there was a goose involved.

Clint rubbed the back of his neck, turning slightly pink. “My friend Tony bet me five hundred bucks to try to steal one of the goose’s eggs,” he said, playing with his pencil, not looking at you. “I, uh, didn’t expect the goose to be so mean.”

You stifled a laugh, “You didn’t- Have you ever seen a goose before?” You asked between giggles. “Mean is all a goose knows how to be.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He said, still pink-faced, but smiling before nudging you with his elbow. “I’m glad you got to have a good laugh out of it. I’ll be sure to tell you about some of my other adventures next time.” You had to admit, you were a little curious to hear what other trouble he had managed to get himself into. It seemed like a common occurrence for him.

“Maybe after we get this done.” You smiled pointing to your book. “You said it yourself, we don’t have much time to lose.”

“Alright then, consider it a date.” He said with a wink making your heart flutter before he opened his own, waterlogged, book. Part of you wanted to ask if he was joking about the date, but he spoke up before you could. “Let’s get this show on the road.” He grinned. You gave him a nod before filing your question away for later and turning your focus to your work.

The pair fo you quickly lost track of time between flirty banter and physics equations. You liked Clint. More than you expected to like someone who had rushed up to you dripping wet and demanding help. Actually, you liked him a lot more than you expected to like anyone you had just met. He was funny and deceptively smart for a man who was supposedly on the verge of failing the class.

He finished his work long before you finished yours, claiming trajectories to be easy thanks to his experience with archery. Which was something he clearly loved far more than any of the classes he was taking. You could listen to him talk about it for hours with the way his face lit up when he did. He really had no business being as interesting as he was, you decided.

He was checking your work when you heard him swear. You looked up from your notes to see him scrambling to get his things together. “What’s going on?” You asked, eyes wide at his distress.

“We’re half an hour late to class!” He said, stuffing your work into your book and closing it, pushing it into your arms. Book in hand, you jumped up as if you had been electrocuted.

“Shit. Pym isn’t going to let us into class!” You swore as you collected your things and hurried after Clint.

“Don’t worry about it.” He said as he grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him. “I’ll just pick the lock. Just stick to the back row and he won’t notice.”

“Where the hell did you learn how to pick locks?” You asked as he pushed open the door to the physics building.

“A guy gets bored. I thought we already covered that I make questionable life choices.” Clint said quickly before stopping in front of an open classroom door, mouth agape.

You stopped next to him, eyes landing on a paper posted to the door frame. Phys 114, it read, canceled for the day. Signed Professor Pym. You stared at it dumbstruck. “All of that rushed work was for nothing?”

“Not for nothing.” Clint shrugged with a bob of his head. “If I recall, we did get a date out of the deal.”

You blinked and gave a small scoff of surprised laughter. “You were really serious about that?”

Clint frowned disappointment clear on his face, “Did you… Did you not want to?”

“No!” You objected, “No it’s not that! I’d love to have a date with you. I just thought- It doesn’t matter what I thought. I would love a date. Just, maybe with no geese.”

Clint broke into a wide grin that made your heart flutter. “Can’t make any promises about that sweetheart. I did promise you stories about my adventures.”

You giggled as smiled, “Someone needs to protect the school’s goose population from you.”

“From me?!” He asked with false offense, lips turned up with laughter. “They ate my homework!”

[nadiineross]

Print: “How do you 'accidentally' achieve immortality?"

note: abt ur prompts.. i ….actually was planning a fic abt immortality but i dont think itll be done for ages so i slammed this one out. i also made a few posts abt superhero aus btw :’). i watched hercules for the first time in like a decade bc of ur other prompt and wow…. hades is still so funny DSJFHSKH ok anyway i prolly wont write a lot in the coming month bc semesters starting next week BUT i can type out some headcanons for prompts u give me, if u guys r interested in that?

i didnt proofread this and i dont want to because i am Lazy anyway thank u sm for continuing to talk to me abt chlodine yrs down the road. pls feel free to send in ur chlodine headcanons or if u jus wanna scream abt them

Nadine’s been alive for a long time, and so nothing really surprises her anymore. But, then again, Chloe is always her exception.

//

They first meet in India, only a passing thing. Being alive for so long, well, it gets boring. Nadine, also, could never really handle being purposeless. She enjoys having goals and working hard to achieve them, and she definitely enjoys the brief period, afterwards, where she relishes in those achievements.

It was easier, before, to find purpose: fighting. There were a lot of wars and Nadine was good at it. She was, and is, by all accounts, remarkable. However, to preserve her anonymity, she allows herself to dissolve into the unknowns of history.

She has had many names, most of which she has since forgotten. But, her first, she will not forget: Nadine. It is that name she gives to Chloe, and it is the one Chloe knows her by.

At that time, in India, she had nothing to do. It seemed the age of fighting as she knew it was coming to a close, and she grew bored.

Of course, this wasn’t a new experience; Nadine can hardly find anything she has not experienced. Usually, she travelled. She’s been to most places, but they were always changing, and this was something she appreciated on a deep level.

India, she has not visited in almost four decades.

On her first night, she eats a feast on her own. The restaurant owners were impressed, to say the least.

It is routine, her travels. During the day, she sees the sights, explores the places that have changed the most and visits those that she loved the last time she was here. When nightfalls, again, she feasts. Sometimes, when she isn’t too tired, she’ll take someone to bed.

This, she does rarely. It is, after all, hard to find a woman interested in other women in this world. Harder, even, to find one who isn’t interested in a long term investment, since Nadine is not very interested in the part where she outlives everyone. It isn’t a pressing issue, though. She has needs, sure, but she is patient, and sex did not fall very high on her list of priorities.

Besides, she understands. The consequences of being a woman like her are grave and not a lot of people would want to risk their lives for a fling.

Chloe is only her second in India.

There is a river, a half day’s walk away from where she’s staying. It is her second to last night in India, and there aren’t a lot of things she is itching to see, so she decides to make the walk.

By the time she gets there, the sun is hanging low in the sky, not yet set, but almost. She’s sweating from the heat and the oppressive humidity characteristic of the Indian climate. So, naturally, she unbuttons the first few buttons of her shirt and leans over the edge to splash water over her face.

It is a relief on her skin, and she looks up to gasp out a breath when she sees her. Chloe, shameless creature that she is, watches her.

Nadine doesn’t know how she didn’t notice the woman lounging in the water before now. Bewildered, Nadine blinks at her and feels very bare, suddenly hyper-aware of the droplets running down her face and into her shirt.

“Hello,” Nadine finally says. She is good with languages—there isn’t a lot to do when you’ve been alive for a few centuries.

“Hey.” She swims over until Nadine can see her smirk with distinct clarity, until her bare shoulders come up, but does not go farther up the shore. “Not from around here?”

Nadine raises an eyebrow. Clearly not. “No,” she says.

“Huh. Chloe, nice to meet you,” says she, extending a wet hand from the water. Nadine has to slosh into the water to take it and give it a firm, short up-down shake.

It’s a strange name, given the context, and this whole thing takes her off guard. She stupidly blurts out: “Nadine.”

Chloe’s grin becomes wider. She doesn’t try to hide the way she eyes Nadine’s open shirt. Nadine isn’t dense, either, so she knows when there is an opportunity she could take, is she wanted.

She’s not sure yet.

“And you? Are you from around here?”

Humming noncommittally, Chloe stands, abruptly, to her full height and walks around Nadine to the shore. She is naked, and Nadine has to swallow a lump in her throat.

Nadine has seen a lot of women, and she can say with certainty that Chloe is one of the most beautiful she has seen. She tries not to stare and succeeds, given that she has excellent self-control. Though she will admit, Chloe certainly tested her in that moment.

“Where are you from?” Chloe asks as she picks up a shirt strewn across a rock and slips into it. Now, Nadine notices the pair of pants and shoes hidden behind the rock.

Nadine smiles, wryly, aware that she is giving more information than she is receiving. “Africa.”

Chloe doesn’t seem to take offence at her brusqueness. Just laughs. “Ah.” Then, because Chloe is so brave and so young, barely thirty by the looks of it, she stoops and holds up her pants, and asks, “Should I bother with these or are we going to address… what should I call it? The tension?”

Oh, how they address it.

After, as Chloe disappears into the trees on the other side of the river, Nadine realizes that she is entirely, profoundly, surprised.

//

Nadine has met many bold women; she can be one herself when she wants to be. Chloe, she never really forgets, but she is filed away into a tiny corner of her mind, fading away until Nadine never really thinks about it unless she is alone at a river and has run out of things to think about.

Besides, World War II has started, and she’s occupied with killing those Nazi bastards. She doesn’t enlist in any army—can’t exactly fly under the radar there—but she has connections and resources, and works perfectly well alone.

In the face of all this, Chloe is not forgotten, but she is not remembered.

And Nadine’s life goes on, and on, and on, as it is wont to do.

//

Nadine doesn’t know why she never dies. It just happened or, more precisely, it just never happened.

Her parents did. She never really knew her father, as her mother raised her, but she does know he died. Her mother, she held as she passed. 

Years later, people began to talk. Nadine turned thirty, and that was it.

She doesn’t know if she can die at all, but she isn’t interested in testing her theories. She has avoided fatal wounds for so long; she won’t stop now.

Sure, she has suffered and has felt like she might die, but she doesn’t think she wants to die. There are so many things she wants to know.

So, she decided, a century into her life, that she would not question it. She isn’t at all old enough to have been there for the Trojan War, but she does know not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

//

It is the 2000s and Nadine begins to feel a little existential. She will not fight in wars now, given the stakes and, especially, given her moral compass. Well, at least not official ones. She has accepted that she is a little bit of a vigilante, and she’s focusing on bettering her own home.

Always levelheaded, she never bites off more than she can chew. She only takes to the streets every few weeks. In the meantime, she decides to get into academia.

If she’s so keen on learning, why wouldn’t she go to school? Human achievement is impressive!

She has one PhD already and is working on her second. She has just started, meeting her advisor for only the third time, when she sees a flash of red in the hall, heading towards the History department.

It’s a woman with jet black hair, ponytail swinging. Before Nadine can think to squint, she’s rounded the corner and is gone.

Blinking, Nadine turns away and heads to the courtyard. She likes to sit on the grass and do her research there. Small pleasures.

It’s been an hour, maybe two, when a shadow casts over. Strangely, she feels her heart start to beat faster before she even looks up.

“Hello,” she says, throwing an arm over her forehead to shade herself from the afternoon sun.

Chloe in the flesh. She puts on the same old smirk and looks down at Nadine with her hands on her hips. “Hey, you.”

Nadine raises an eyebrow as she sits down and makes herself at home on Nadine’s picnic blanket, among her sea of books.

“Well, look at you.” Chloe keeps on grinning, shark-like. “You haven’t aged a day.”

“You’re too kind,” Nadine says, thinly. “And neither have you, by the looks of it.”

Dismissively, Chloe waves a hand and tosses her ponytail over her shoulder. “No need to flatter me, you’ve already gotten into my pants.”

“I haven’t forgotten.” Much, at least, she thinks. Then, wonders if, perhaps, she is dreaming.

“That’s nice.” Chloe leans closer, growing serious but retaining her persistent underlying curiosity. “Oh, Nadine, what are you?”

Nadine snorts. “Always so bold.”

She shrugs. “Places to be, things to know, people to do. I’m a busy girl.”

Like a shark, Nadine thinks again. She keeps her mouth shut for a few moments, just watching Chloe watching her. As Nadine recalls her memories of Chloe, she notes that Chloe mostly hasn’t changed. Finally, she leans back on an arm and says, “Looks to me like you have all the time in the world.”

“Hm.” Chloe lifts a hand, maybe to touch her arm, maybe to push her hair out of her face, maybe to cup her cheek. Nadine will never know. She tenses, instinctively swaying back a little. Chloe’s hand drops down, but she keeps on smiling. “You’re immortal, then. All the time in the world.”

Nadine doesn’t say anything, just waits for Chloe to draw her conclusions.

“How long have you… been like this?”

Nadine pretends to think. “About a century or five now. You?”

“Well, I was thirty-four when I met you,” Chloe wonders aloud, tilting her head as she does the math. At this, Nadine frowns and, upon seeing this, Chloe huffs a laugh. “Yes, actually thirty-four.”

That makes her roughly two centuries old. Nadine doesn’t know how to feel about this, about everything, about Chloe. She had been, to her knowledge, alone in this for three centuries. Never once had she met someone else like this, and she didn’t want to, she doesn’t think. She had always been slow to trust.

She never tried to think about this too hard; she doesn’t know how it works—is she contagious? But none of the other women turned immortal after going to bed with her. Still, she worries at her lip and examines Chloe.

“How?”

“How am I like this?”

She nods.

Chloe raises an eyebrow. “Quid pro quo.”

Nadine rolls her eyes. “I don’t know. I just never died.” She sighs, harshly, and closes the book in her lap with a full clap. “I don’t know.”

“That’s alright,” Chloe says, gently. This time, when she reaches out, to touch her wrist, Nadine lets her. Chloe looks down at the point of contact, seemingly charmed. Then, after a beat, meets Nadine’s eyes again and smiles. “Well, I don’t know how exactly it worked, but this was an accident.”

“…what?” Nadine scoffs. “How do you ‘accidentally’ achieve immortality?”

Chloe looks sheepish now. “I went into an ancient temple and mucked around, and maybe I broke something, and… well, here I am.”

Suddenly, struck by the urge to lie down for a decade or at least go somewhere more private for this discussion, Nadine shoves her books into her bag and stands. Chloe, startled, mirrors her movements and then stills as Nadine rolls up the blanket and easily hefts everything up.

“Uh, what’s going on?”

Nadine picks up her baseball cap and puts it on, and then sweeps an arm towards the paved path. “We’re going to my apartment.”

A little dumbly, Chloe follows along. “Who’s bold now?”

Nadine gives her a look, and Chloe just smiles, looking away with a shrug. They make the journey in silence, Nadine’s is a stubborn one, and Chloe’s obliging. When they reach the apartment, Nadine lets her in first and gestures to the couch. It’s not a very big apartment, but it’s comfortable and in an alright neighbourhood. 

After Nadine puts her bag away, she comes back to see Chloe leaning over the back of the couch to look out her window. She twists back around as Nadine sits.

“You alright?”

Nadine looks up at her, eyes hooded. “Ja.”

Chloe smiles, a kind one. She has such an expressive face. Nadine wants to run her hands over the dips and curves of it. Wants to feel a little more grounded in reality—is she really not dreaming?

The urge to just ask disappears in a moment as Nadine comes back to herself, feeling safer on her own turf.

“So, this is where you’re from.” It’s not a question, but Nadine nods anyway.

“Originally. I don’t remember exactly where but I grew up farther inland and then moved to the coast later before my mother passed.” Nadine rubs a hand at her temple. Tired. “They both died. I’m the only— I was the only one. For the longest time, I was the only one.”

Chloe shifts, an unidentifiable emotion drifting across her face. “Nadine.”

She sighs and says, “I don’t want your pity.”

“You don’t have it,” she says, not ungently. “It’s been a long time.”

For once, Nadine allows herself to give in. She leans over until she falls, turning her face to press her nose into the hard muscle of Chloe’s tensed thigh, just above the knee. She hugs her arms to her chest and counts her breaths. Chloe sighs, too, and puts her hand in Nadine’s hair.

Nadine’s back is to Chloe.

It’s been a long time.

//

So, this is how it happened.

She was abandoned by her mother and raised by a father who wanted a son. He loved her, regardless. He just taught her the ways of his trade.

Her childhood was spent scaling the shelves of libraries as he did his research and sitting uncomfortably still as he spoke to “experts” in their homes. When she was old enough, by his standards, he took her out to ancient ruins, and they explored.

It could be dangerous; she broke a few bones on these adventures. Most never healed properly, and so bumps and scars littered her body.

The worst, the one that almost killed her, occurred in the temple.

Her father passed a few years before, to disease. She carried on his work, suddenly alone. His life’s work: a crumbling ruin.

She had spent days scouting it out, hidden behind a waterfall, like in the legends. She was nervous. Afraid that her father’s work would amount to nothing, that the life she had led without him would’ve turned out to be a waste.

So, she spent days by the falls and walking along the river. It was there that she met Nadine.

She had thought Nadine was a figment of her imagination at first, peeking out from the top of the water. A beautiful, sweaty spirit of the wilds, dressed like an average person.

A blessing she received.

That night, she went in. There were traps, which she expected, and treasures, which she had desperately hoped for. In the centre, buried underneath layers of chambers, was the Tusk.

She got greedy.

Traps triggered—

The Tusk, she held to her chest—

She curled over, protecting it from falling rubble and—

The tip, sharp and shiny, punctured her middle. It was shallow, but still, she cried out and tripped, and the spear she landed on went too far in to be considered shallow.

She doesn’t remember the details; all she knows is that she came back to herself while crawling out the collapsing entrance, sticky with blood.

She hid the Tusk away, for later, and stumbled her way to the nearest town, broken spear sticking out from her ribs.

Half a year later, freshly healed and free from the doctor, she went back. The Tusk was still bloodied, and a gem from the tip of the Tusk had fallen out somewhere. At least, it made up for all her suffering in gold.

In the face of all that, Nadine was not forgotten, but she was not remembered.

//

Feeling awkward and uncomfortable, having been vulnerable for the first time in almost half a millennia, Nadine sits up and grimaces. Chloe opens her bleary eyes and stretches.

“What time’s it?”

Nadine could look at her watch, but she grabs hold of Chloe’s forearm. “Does it matter?”

Chloe looks down and frowns. “I suppose not. What’s happening?”

“Do you want to address the tension?”

Chloe’s muscles relax slowly. She kicks her sneakers off and, in one swift movement, shrugs Nadine’s hand off and settles into her lap. Her mouth descends onto Nadine’s.

This time is almost like the last, fast and sloppy. Except they do it three more times, at least, and afterwards Chloe settles in beside her and stays till morning.

//

Nadine also has many scars, and Chloe maps them all out just as Nadine does to her.

//

“So, am I the older woman or are you the older woman?”

Nadine bites into her skin, licking a soothing stripe along the scar tissue there.

Chloe groans and looks down. “Does that mean I should shut up?”

Nadine gives her an unimpressed look. “Yes.”

“Okay,” she breathes, hand flying to the back of Nadine’s head. “Whatever you say.”

//

South Africa is best experienced in the weeks after Summer has passed, in Chloe’s very vocal opinion, and maybe that’s why the days she spends holed up in Nadine’s apartment feels a little like paradise.

She is not the sentimental type, and Chloe even less so, but there is something to be said for attachments. She had forgotten.

Chloe even admits that she was only here because she saw Nadine’s picture and wanted to use Nadine for information on why she‘s the way she is. Nadine doesn’t take it too personally, because she would’ve done the same, probably.

It ends, of course, as all things do. Not permanently, but Chloe isn’t the type to stay still, and Nadine’s set her sights on finishing this damn degree.

They agree, in five years, they will return to the tree, the patch of grass, and try again.

//

Nadine feels like she has aged the five centuries she had powered through almost numbly in the span of those five years.

They kept in contact because neither of them is the type to make significant, corny gestures like that. Over text, Chloe echoes the sentiment.

For Nadine, it is as if Chloe had barged in, reminded Nadine that she was in control of the remote and that hitting the fast forward button on life wasn’t the only option.

//

“Why do you chase after violence?” came her voice, tinny over the phone. She was in Russia.

“Do I?”

Chloe hums. “All your wars, your crusades. You insist you don’t want to die and yet…”

Nadine raises her eyebrows and finishes typing out her sentence before pushing back on her desk chair. Her first instinct is to be defensive, but Chloe starts to hum tunelessly, and it reminds Nadine that not everything is a fight to be won and— “Ah.”

“Do you wanna talk about something else?” Chloe laughs, then, and jokes, “My abandonment issues? Inability to sit still? Maybe how I’m greedy and selfish?”

Nadine smiles softly. “It’s okay.” She clears her throat. “I think I just got scared of losing people and just, frankly, losing in general, with life and all. I took being independent to the next level. I forgot the value in doing things senselessly, and in a way that’s exactly what I did.”

“How do you mean?”

Nadine shrugs even though Chloe can’t see. “I don’t know why I’m immortal, and I didn’t want to know. What makes me deserving of eternal life and not anyone else? So, I thought only of what I would do with this and doing those things. I’m good at fighting. Why wouldn’t I fight? And I can’t die—there are causes I could give myself to.

“I mean, there were moments, in between, where my thought would wander, of course.” Nadine pauses, feeling nonsensical. “I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“That’s alright. I get it.”

“I know. Thank you.”

“Anytime, love.” Another breathy chuckle. “Literally, anytime. From now until the rest of eternity.”

//

“Hello,” Nadine says when she feels a shadow loom over her.

There’s a rustling, and then a kiss to her cheek. “Hey there, sleeping beauty.”

It’s been five years.

Nadine opens an eye and sees Chloe peering down with her stupidly beautiful smile. Her fingers graze at Nadine’s cheek, featherlight, and Nadine’s touches over them. Warm.

“So weird how you haven’t aged a day.”

“Ja, I didn’t get a chance to develop stress wrinkles since you left.”

Head thrown back, wind blowing her hair aside, Chloe laughs. Nadine thinks there hasn’t ever been a surprise as nice as Chloe since the dawn of time.

Stooping over, Chloe kisses her.

[thisweekingundamwing]

This Week in Gundam Wing 24-30 November 2019

Here’s this week’s roundup!

Remember to give your content creators some love! And join in on the events at the bottom!

(Looking forward to all the Unorthodox Undercover Work Mini Bang entries going up this next week!)

~Mod Hel

Fanfiction/Snippets/AU Ideas:

@bobo-is-tha-bomb​

Encounters with Heero (Ch. 12 & 13) https://archiveofourown.org/works/21385951/chapters/51360610

F/M, Heero Yuy/Reader

Heero Yuy, Reader, Relena Peacecraft, Duo Maxwell, Hilde Schbeiker, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei

Romance, Drama, Fluff, Friendship

This man oozed danger. Nonetheless you are attracted to him and you grow closer to him than anyone has ever before. Being nice to a stranger was what got it all started.

Burn to a Cinder (Ch. 7) https://archiveofourown.org/works/18781273/chapters/51374644

F/M, Zechs Merquise/Reader, Treize Khushrenada/Reader

Zechs Merquise, Treize Khushrenada, Lady Une, Mariemaia Khushrenada, Relena Peacecraft, Chang Wufei

Romance, Drama, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Violence, Reader-Insert

Your path had been laid out for you from an early age, allowing you to move into the higher circles of society and catch the attention of one of the most powerful men in the Earth Sphere. As Treize’s mistress, you watch his rise to power and the disastrous war breaking out on Earth and in Space, putting your loyalty to the test. You are torn between your duty to His Excellency, and your unquellable lust for one of the top soldiers under his command. And when he rises to power in Outer Space, there is nothing you can do but stand back and watch them tear each other apart. This is no game of hearts, but yours is at stake, and the consequences can be felt for years to come. Labeled as OZ’s whore, you struggle to find your way, only for things to fall apart around you again. But then there is still Zechs, and the undeniable way he makes you feel…

@doctormegalomania​

Your Body’s Poetry (Ch. 7) https://archiveofourown.org/works/20438891/chapters/48490382

Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton/Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei/Original Female Character(s), Duo Maxwell/Hilde Schbeiker, Relena Peacecraft & Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell/Original Male Character(s)

Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei, Sally Po, Relena Peacecraft, Lucrezia Noin, Zechs Merquise, Hilde Schbeiker

Past Relationship(s), Slice of Life, Post-Break Up, Slow Burn, Developing Relationship, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence

Long after the wars, long after peace is established the Gundam Pilots discover one immovable fact: Relationships are hard work.

@duointherain​

The Hidden Cherry (Ch. 1) https://duointherain.tumblr.com/post/189338568519/fic-the-hidden-cherry-1

Intersex Duo, disabled Heero

He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. Duo wanted to think that the stress in his voice made him sound like an asshole and that would motivate the person on the other side of the phone. The space he was in was small, like 3 meters by maybe 5. His cigarette lighter had given him enough light to see the space, but it was back in his pocket now.  “I need an analyst. It’s fucking Wednesday. There is an analyst in the office.”

@janaverse​

Stickies from Heero (Ch. 26) https://archiveofourown.org/works/19796581/chapters/51374212

Chapter 26: ‘circumnavigating the simple truth’ is now on AO3. It was nice to actually get another story written for this odd universe!

Duo reads Heero latest note and fallout ensues.

Rough https://janaverse.tumblr.com/post/189270598643/drabble-day-38-adult-themes-rough-heero-stood

drabble - day 38 - adult themes

Consider it done https://janaverse.tumblr.com/post/187883433878/consider-it-done

So this is the follow up to my short fic ‘something to consider’ which I posted about a week or so ago.  You can find it here:  https://janaverse.tumblr.com/post/187689757828/something-to-consider or here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20669474 in case you have not read it yet. this fic will make infinitely more sense if you have!

pairing: 1X2X1

warnings: unholy amounts of sap and lovey dovey stuff. please take this warning seriously! lol  this is THE sappiest thing i have ever written!

Heero had entered the house first, taking off his soaked shoes and leaving them out on the front porch beside the door. Duo had followed suit, noticeably shivering once inside the house, and headed toward their bedroom to get changed. Heero had only removed his jacket and hung it on the coat rack inside the front door; opting to start a fire before getting out of his wet clothes and into something dry.

@ransomedbard​

Clipped Wings (Ch. 3) https://archiveofourown.org/works/21360976/chapters/51500641

Duo Maxwell, Hilde Schbeiker

Preventer!Duo, Criminal!Hilde, 2+H, Adventure, Kidnapping, mild violence, Crime doesn't actually pay

Time has a funny way of turning history on its head. Two years after the Eve Wars, former rebel Duo Maxwell is now a member of the secretive anti-terrorism unit Preventers, while Hilde has been living on the wrong side of the law on Earth. When he makes a visit to attempt to salvage their strained friendship, he’ll uncover just how much their paths have diverged, and end up getting caught up in her life on the run from a gang that wants revenge.

Fanart/Gunpla/Photo Manips:

@animethingsandstuff​

https://animethingsandstuff.tumblr.com/post/189231234100/w-night-by-%E3%82%80%E3%81%86%E3%81%9F%E3%82%8D-posted-with-permission-please

The G-boys and posing... and flowers.

Photosets/Gifsets/Screenshots/Manga Pages:

@vegalume​

https://vegalume.tumblr.com/post/189361489995/i-immediately-thought-of-heero-but-this-could-be

Before leaving the house, Heero does...

Fandom Discourse:

@amberlyinviolet

https://janaverse.tumblr.com/post/189290275628/i-am-here-for-the-giving-of-the-happily-ever-after

@noirangetrois​, @janaverse​

About the struggles of all GW characters.

@incorrectgundamwingquotes​

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189326495789/unpopular-opinion-despite-the-horrible

Unpopular Opinion: FT had good points.

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189326409984/for-unpopular-opinion-not-on-the-series-itself

Unpopular Opinion: 1X2 is overrated.

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189326308699/i-dont-know-if-this-is-actually-an-unpopular

Unpopular Opinion: EW was not that great.

@lifeaftermeteor​

https://lifeaftermeteor.tumblr.com/post/189380639699/life-after-meteor

LAM has a website now!

@ransomedbard​

https://ransomedbard.tumblr.com/post/189357520583/thank-you

Fandom loves you too!

@terrablaze514​

https://terrablaze514.tumblr.com/post/189258275567/wing-zero-episodes

Wing Zero Episodes (Who flew it better?)

My opinions on Wing Zero and the impact it plays. Borderline meta I guess, and excuse the occurrence of Trowa and Zechs muses.

Quotes:

@incorrectgundamwingquotes​

https://gwminorcharactersrpblog.tumblr.com/post/189313789527/quatre-why-is-your-back-all-scratched-up-trowa

Quatre & Trowa

With additions made by @gwminorcharactersrpblog​

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189293229002/texting-duo-hello-duo-are-you

Duo & Trowa

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189298062910/quatre-you-should-be-nicer-to-people-heero

Quatre, Heero, Duo, Trowa, & WuFei

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189326315129/zechs-you-played-me-like-a-fiddle-duo-oh-no-i

Zechs & Duo

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189333739266/duo-whyre-you-ignoring-relena-heero-im

Duo, Heero, & WuFei

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189338458478/trowa-handing-duo-some-pills-here-take-four-of

Trowa & Duo

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189342871815/heero-ill-worry-about-that-bridge-when-i-get-to

Heero & Quatre

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189358288319/heero-dont-correct-me-wufei-dont-be-wrong

Heero & WuFei

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189397723234/duo-uh-its-salt-wufei-thats-what-i

Duo & WuFei

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/189377500808/une-about-mariemaia-you-cant-give-her-that

Une & WuFei

Calendar Events:

@gundamzine​

Rhythm Generation: Shooting Stars, Celebrating 25 Years of Gundam Wing

Zine Content https://gundamzine.tumblr.com/post/186791784139/rhythm-generation-shooting-stars-is-an-unofficial

Pre-orders Open! https://gundamzine.tumblr.com/post/189370843928/gundamzine-pre-orders-are-open-rhythm Open until January 11th!

Q about Free Merch https://gundamzine.tumblr.com/post/189215831466/are-you-really-giving-free-merch-i-am-kinda

@gundam-wing-bingo​

Gundam Wing Bingo is here!

Come and sign up for a card here: https://gundam-wing-bingo.tumblr.com/post/185466400076/gundam-wing-bingo

@gwcocktailfriday​

Cocktail Fridays!

Post responses on Friday, during Happy Hour between 3 & 5 pm in your own timezone.

Here’s the prompt for Friday, December 6th! https://gwcocktailfriday.tumblr.com/post/189390586070/cocktail-friday-post-responses-on-friday-december

For those going to Pillowfort, find us here.

If anyone has ideas for prompts, PLEASE send them in! Our ask box is always open.

In need of Winter prompts!

@thisweekingundamevents​

Gundam Wing Holiday Gift Exchange 2019/2020

https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/188113410410/holiday-gift-exchange

Schedule: 5-11 January: Post your Gifts!

Holiday Exchange Q & A: https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/188824081840/some-holiday-exchange-q-a

Criteria and Schedule Reminder! https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/188943007445/holiday-gift-exchange-reminder

Gundam Wing Unorthodox Undercover Work Mini Bang

Posting starts today!

Here’s everything you need to know to post! https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/189346329635/gw-uuw-mb-posting-again-lol

For those artists who haven’t a story, if you finished your piece, feel free to post it up on tumblr. Remember to tag us and I’ll get you in the End of Event Roundup anyway! ^_^

Posting Dates: https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/189405682420/posting-dates-gwuuwmb

Note! There is also a Gundam Wing Discord Meet-up going on right now! See @lifeaftermeteor​ for details and a discord invite if you aren’t in it already!

[istheresomebodywhocanimagine]

Hey I saw your ships are open again. I wanted to ask I f you could make me one for Queen and the boharp cast? I am 5’0 black curly locks that go to my mid back, green eyes pale skin and I have lots of earrings and piercings in my ear. I love to play the guitar, singing, listening to music and watching tv shows and movies. I am quite the sassy person, also sarcastic at times but I am also a very good listener and I love to smile and just goof around. Well yeah that’s it I suppose.

Hello!!! Hi sorry this took so long but im HERE NOW gosh i had so many requests before this and i already knew who i wanted to ship you with from the moment I saw this ahhhh

Anyways here goes (it’s all below the cut hehe i dont wanna clog anyones dash)

For BoRhap, I 100% ship you with Joe Mazzello!

Joe is the perfect match for you, just because he can keep up with your wit and humor so well! He loves how sassy and sarcastic you are, and his energy fuels your sharp tongue and goofy sense of humor. 

He loves goofing off more than anything (see above gif), so he’s always trying to embarrass you in public, but you just end up outdoing him anyways.

“Hey, babe, look!” he’d yell almost tauntingly, daring you to look up at him from your phone as you tried to post your picture with Lucy. When you’d look up, he’d be break-dancing rather terribly to the music playing, Ben cheering him on and recording it while simultaneously trying to not die from laughter.

But you wouldn’t be embarrassed - in fact, you’d go in and show him up, stepping between him and Ben’s phone so that you were the main focus instead. He’d try to have a dance battle with you, but would quickly give up once he realized that you were a superior dancer/master at silliness.

Ben’s video would end with Joe picking you up, pretending to be mad and storming off with you as you squealed and laughed in his arms, begging Lucy or Ben, or really anyone to help you.

Speaking of helping, you love helping him catch up on TV shows and movies once he’s been away for a while. Filming takes up a lot of his life once he’s got a job, so he misses out on a lot of good movies and shows when he’s away, which prompted you to start keeping lists of everything he needs to watch once he returns from whatever he’s working on. 

He loves this. A lot. 

What else does he love? You in baseball caps. Whether or not you like baseball, Joe is a big baseball guy, so seeing you in a baseball cap, seated next to him in Yankee or Dodger Stadium? That’s heaven to him. 

He sneaks cute little pictures of you during the game, too. A lot of them. He won’t stop until you’re grinning and trying to take his phone, and even then, he’ll sneak a few more. 

They’re his favorite pictures of you - but he doesn’t post them on social media, preferring to keep them for himself. While Joe Mazzello is no stranger to social media, he feels oddly protective about his pictures of you. He instead saves them for himself, then looks back on them all the time when he’s been away from you for a while.

While we’re on the topic of being away for a while, Joe also has a tendency to ask you for videos of you singing/playing the guitar when he’s been away. Your favorite time was when he was working on BoRhap.

“Just one!” he’d begged, his voice pleading with you over the phone to send him a video of you playing a song, any song. He didn’t even care if it was Wonderwall, or some other overplayed song. “I just want to hear your voice, babe.”

“You are hearing my voice, right now,” you’d giggle, and Joe would groan melodramatically at your cheeky way of turning it around on him. “Alright, alright, give me a minute,” you’d finally assented, Joe cheering on the other side of the phone as you grinned, shaking your head.

Once you’d sent the video, it was a moment before you’d heard back from him, but he also sent a video in response. Clicking on it, you were immediately greeted with the loud sound of him practically yelling in excitement, his face taking up the screen as he situated the phone in his hand so it was easier to hold. 

“You’re a natural!” he’d yelled, and then he’d received a small flick on the ear from an unknown person, who turned out to be Ben once you’d heard his voice admonishing Joe for being so loud while they were filming.

The camera had then turned to Ben, who’d waved and blew a kiss once he realized he was being recorded. 

Joe quickly took the phone back, focusing it on his face again with a faux stern look. “Don’t catch that kiss, babe. Let it fly. Okay, wait, catch this one. I love you. Bye!” He’d then blown you a kiss himself, and the video cut off as you’d seen Ben’s hand come into the frame, grabbing the ‘kiss’ and laughing as Joe yelled in protest.

When it comes to looks, Joe is absolutely obsessed with you. The first time he’d went on a date with you, he’d accidentally admitted that he first noticed you because of your hair and eyes. 

“It was just so striking, I had to get to know you,” he’d said, almost blushing as he recalled the first time he’d met you. You were both at a mutual friend’s party in NYC, and he’d actually gone above and beyond to come talk to you - meaning he nearly tripped over a rug on his way over. 

But he thought you hadn’t noticed, so he wouldn’t tell you that, and you’d never admit that you actually had seen his stumble. You thought his clumsiness was endearing, and it’s the reason you’d entertained his attention in the first place.

“What do you mean by that?” you’d asked, hiding your pleased smile behind your glass of wine as you watched him over the rim. 

“I mean, look at you,” he chuckled, gesturing to you and smiling widely. His eyes, which were always so animated, looked positively enchanted as he looked over you for a second. “You’re beautiful, how could I not be blown away when I saw you? That curly black hair...“ he’d trailed off, dramatically clutching at his chest as he feigned breathlessness. 

That had provoked a delighted giggle out of you, and he’d grinned goofily as he also took a drink of his wine, chuckling at himself.

And that’s how you spend most of your time together. Laughing, because nothing is better for the two of you than the feeling of making each other laugh.

Plus, Joe is damn funny, and so are you. Win-win.

For Queen, I ship you with.... drumroll please.... crickets.... Brian May!

My reasoning? Well, Brian is a bit more reserved than you, and it took him a minute to warm up to you in the beginning. Your sense of humor was a bit more advanced than his was, and he could hardly keep up with your banter, which got him flustered.

“Brian, can you help us out here a bit? You’ve been tuning Red for a fucking hour now, I think it’s good,” Roger had complained, you and him struggling to figure something out on one of the amps in the studio since John had stepped out. 

Brian had shrugged, setting Red aside and joining you two in your pondering of what the hell was going wrong. Brian almost jumped when you spoke, it was so quiet between the three of you.

“She, Rog,” you’d chastised, giving Brian a knowing look. But Brian had no idea what the hell you were talking about, and he cocked his head to the side as he looked at you curiously. “It’s a she.”

“What’s a she?” Brian had asked, completely forgetting about what Roger had just said moments ago. “The amp?”

“No, silly, Red,” you’d laughed, making Brian blush lightly as he felt like an idiot once he remembered Red, sitting back on the couch. “I reckon Red is a she, just like boats are shes. I call my guitar a she. You’ve got to treat your women right, Rog.”

“Um, yeah,” Brian stuttered out, almost confused by what was taking place. He wasn’t quite on your level, but that was okay, because Roger wasn’t either.

“What are you on about?” Roger had asked, shaking his head and not really wanting an answer. 

But he got one anyways. 

“Oh, I guess you wouldn’t know about that, would you? Treating women with care?” you’d taunted. Brian snorted and covered his mouth as Roger had protested weakly, but from then on, Brian began to appreciate your quick comebacks and seemingly unending stream of jokes.

On the other hand, he really loves that you can sit back and listen to his rants when he needed to vent. Brian is an emotional type of man, but he’s not great at expressing his frustrations in the heat of the moment, which makes him even more frustrated with himself and leads to the bottling up of his feelings until his breaking point.

The night he’d realized he’d fancied you, he was at one of those breaking points. You were both hanging around the van, the other boys still fooling around at the pub after the gig. Brian had left early, annoyed by a spat with Roger earlier that hadn’t been resolved due to poor communication. You were already on the van, sleeping in the backseat up against the opposite window when he’d climbed in.

“Oh, sorry, love, did I wake you? Shit,” he’d muttered, sitting seat across the row of seats from you when you sat up halfway to rub your eyes, still drowsy and bleary with sleep. It was awkwardly cramped in the back, and his knees were almost up to his chest as he sat there, not sure how to position himself. You remained draped across the seat, your feet resting just next to his side

“No, no, it’s alright,” you’d murmured, stretching before looking over at him and finding that he looked a bit annoyed. “You alright?” you’d asked, turning on your side and patting the seat in front of you, offering a more comfortable spot for him.

He’d obliged, laying down in front of you and letting you be the big spoon as he sighed. “I’m just pissed off, Roger doesn’t understand what I’m trying to say half of the time...”

And from there, he’d ranted for at least an hour, barely pausing to hear your input before going on. You’d listened the entire time, nodding and playing with his hair as you did so. And when he’d run out of words to say, he finally noticed that you were braiding his hair, still attentively waiting for him to speak.

“I’m sorry if I bored you,” he’d almost cringed, biting his lip as he turned on his side so he was looking up at you. You laughed softly, readjusting so that you were comfortable laying on your side next to him, and you’d dropped the braid as you’d propped your head up on your hand.

“Well, you want to know what I think?” you’d asked, Brian nodding quickly and staring up at you as you started in with your advice for him.

The entire time you’d spoke, he’d been staring at different things, admiring you. 

He admired the way your green eyes flitted around the van as you spoke, as if you were looking for the right words to say, then plucking them out of the air in that small, cramped van and putting them to use.

Also, he admired the glint of the moonlight on your piercings. Although he wasn’t a big piercing man himself, he loved them on you. In that moment, he’d realized that they only added to your beauty, which was already very present.

He’d taken a small strand of your hair in his hand as you spoke, admiring the way your skin contrasted so greatly with your hair, and he also appreciated that he wasn’t the only person having to deal with curly hair. 

Once you were done speaking, he’d smiled toothily. “You know, for someone who’s always got something sarcastic on the tip of their tongue, you sure do give good advice.”

You’d smiled at that, and that smile was what had gotten him, hook, line, and sinker. 

“Hey, no making out in the van unless it’s me!” Roger had yelled suddenly, throwing open the door as he crawled in, making his way on top of you two, and you’d both laughed loudly as a drunk Roger shoved his way between the two of you, making Brian nearly fall to the floor.

What a shit.

[danfanciesphil]

Prompt where they fight or smthng and phil leaves for a walk and comes back to dan playing his song on the piano?

very cute, i really like this one

xx

EDIT: I realised just as i started writing this that you specified ‘his [phil’s] song’ - so i am now assuming you’re talking about the song dan wrote for him in Birthday Sex? Sorry if that isn’t what you meant haha, but i dont know of a song irl that dan would play for phil that could be classed as ‘his song’ (thought im sure there are several) 

hope this is all ok! and thank you

Prompts are temporarily closed for the time being! Thank you all for your submissions, I’ll be posting the ones I have in my inbox asap!

“I just don’t think it’s very fair of you to blindside me with all the shitty stuff from our past without some kind of warning!” Dan protests, throwing his flat keys down on to the dining room table. He shrugs his coat off, irritated, and throws it onto a nearby chair. “In front of all our friends!”

“Oh, so I’m just supposed to shove all that stuff to one side and never think about it again?” Phil asks, sounding incredulous. Dan rolls his eyes at the theatrical way Phil is behaving. “I’m never allowed to bring it up, or speak about it, or think about it in case it makes you feel guilty and miserable for a split second, is that right?”

“Obviously that’s not what I’m saying, Phil.” Dan says icily, crossing his arms. “You don’t have to be so... so...”

“So what?” Phil prompts, one hand curled around his own set of keys, still. 

Dan just glares, lips pressed into a thin slash across his chin. He’s not going to finish that sentence. It won’t do either of them any good; besides, they’ve both had a couple of glasses of wine. 

They’ve been out for a meal at a posh sushi place for Hazel’s birthday. It’s a place they know well, a menu they’ve ordered from frequently, and friends that they both enjoy being around. 

Dan has no idea why, on this occasion, things turned sour. Out of all the many ways Phil could have answered Louise’s innocent, funny question of ‘what’s the worst pick-up line you’ve tried on someone?’, he had to say ‘well, that’s a difficult one because for the last eight years I've been desperately in love with someone who made it extremely clear they didn’t want me back until very recently. So, I haven’t tried out an actual pick up line in forever.’

His answer had stunned the table into an awkward hush. Dan had been so taken aback by the nonchalant way in which Phil casually dropped this information into the lighthearted conversation - with people who know absolutely nothing about it, save for Louise - that he’d actually choked on an edamame bean. 

They all knew, of course, that Phil was talking about Dan. They must have. 

Suddenly, remembering the stunted, jolty attempts people were forced to make to kickstart the conversation again, to move it into safer territory, Dan doesn’t feel quite so generous. 

He decides to finish his sentence, after all. 

“You don’t have to be so childish about this whole thing.” Dan says before he can think it through properly. “It’s over now. We’re married, we’re together, you have me. Why are you insisting on picking at the scabs? And without even so much as a hint to me beforehand that it’s on your mind at all!” 

“Childish?” Phil repeats, his voice soft and hurt. 

Dan’s heart sinks, and he regrets the choice of adjective immediately. “No, well, no-”

But it’s too late to take it back. The word hangs in the air, taunting them both. 

Dan scrambles to think of a way to repair the situation, but he’s not fast enough. Phil, still wearing his coat, turns back the way he came, keys still clasped in his fist, and walks out of the door. 

Fuck.��

---

Phil has no idea where he’s going. He hadn’t really thought further ahead than getting out of the flat before the argument turned even nastier. 

That’s the problem with arguing with Dan; he’s a hothead. He can’t seem to catch the words in his mind long enough to think them through, he just spits them out, harsh and unfiltered, then regrets it. 

The wind whips against him, and Phil draws the lapels of his coat around himself a little tighter. He’d been so looking forward to getting back home after the dinner tonight. They’d left the heating on, and Phil had been feeling pleasantly tipsy all evening until it got awkward. He’d been thinking about how, later, he could drag a wine-sweetened Dan underneath the covers, kiss him in all the places that made him squirm until neither of them felt the cold anymore. 

He sighs, taking a random turning into a side street he’s never walked down before. He wonders if he should put his hood up or something, as the worst thing would be getting recognised right now. It’s unlikely to happen, though, in the dark. 

Childish. 

That was the word Dan had used to describe him. It echoes through the wide, hollow rooms of Phil’s usually thriving brain, echoing off the cold, stone walls. 

Is that truly how Dan perceives him? Immature and thoughtless? Attention-seeking, maybe? Or sulking, to get his way? 

A shiver runs through his body, and his teeth begin to chatter. He steps through the milky, pale yellow splash of light from an overhead streetlamp, glad of the fleeting absence of darkness. 

He hadn’t meant to say what he did, when he answered Louise. He didn’t think. It’s not like him to say things without thinking, either - but he supposes being around Dan so much must mean he picks up on some of his habits, both good and bad. 

Just now, Dan had said that Phil had blindsided him with the answer. That he’d failed to let Dan know that it was playing on his mind, and that if he’d pulled Dan aside, maybe tried to talk it through a little, things would have been okay. 

But Dan doesn’t understand. The ‘Birthday Sex Era’, as Phil now thinks of it, isn’t something that fleetingly pops into his head now and again. He’s thinking of it always. There’s never a moment that it’s not there, stubborn and loud, a great sea-monster lurking in the ocean of Phil’s love for Dan, its tentacles protruding into every single memory they have as a pair. 

Phil isn’t able to just carve the Birthday Sex monster away. It’s too entwined in what they are, in what they were. It’s part of him, and it’s part of Dan, and it’s a part of both of them, together. 

So, when the delicious Californian white wine is flowing, and Phil is comfortable and relaxed around his favourite, trusted friends, it’s only natural that he’ll answer something asked of him with total honesty. It just so happens that the honest answer he gave tonight was one that the Birthday Sex monster has wrapped itself around. Phil couldn’t help but tell Louise the truth. And the truth had been that Phil, for a long time, was simply not interested in ‘picking up’ anyone but Dan, and that Dan had - somewhat cruelly - encouraged this. 

Two shadowy figures turn into the street, starting to walk towards him. Phil is wearing his contacts, but he still can’t really make them out. Not wanting to linger too long in a deserted, back street with two unfamiliar strangers late at night, Phil turns, walking briskly back the way he came. 

It’s freezing tonight, anyway. Phil’s had a little walk to gather his thoughts. 

It’s time to go home. 

---

Phil tries to unlock the door quietly, half hoping the inevitable confrontation can be postponed a little longer, until he’s shucked off his coat and shoes, at least. 

He manages to stay quiet as he lets himself in, and takes his time about removing his outer garments. He runs a hand through his hair, shuddering as his body soaks up the warmth of the flat, and sighs. 

Belatedly, he realises he can hear a soft, enchanting melody, seeping through the floorboards of the upstairs hallway. Intrigued, as ever, by Dan’s decision to play the piano, Phil follows the haunting tune.

Strangely, as he pads up the stairs, Phil realises that he’s humming along. He pauses in his step, head cocked to listen harder when he deduces that he actually knows this particular song. 

He shuts his eyes, still humming as he tries in vain to place it. Is it a video game theme song, he wonders? Dan is very fond of learning every score of the Final Fantasy soundtrack. But somehow Phil knows it isn’t that, this time. 

His brain aches in protest, complaining that it’s too befuddled with alcohol and post-argument tension to work out what the song is. 

Phil rolls his eyes at his own mind, then continues up the stairs, deciding he’ll just have to remember to ask Dan once they’ve resolved this little tiff. 

It’s as Phil approaches their bedroom, that it dawns on him. The realisation tumbles over him in a gush, and he sucks in a breath, stopping in his tracks. He stands in the doorway, not daring to move in case he interrupts. 

Watching Dan play is a performance in itself, regardless of the music he produces. His back is straight, just as his evil teacher drilled into him that it must be all that time ago. His fingers dance, light as petals skimming the surface of a lake, over the keys. 

Dan hasn’t noticed Phil’s arrival, he’s sure. 

The tune begins soft, then sweeps into a whirlwind of complexity, soaring into something so swooping, so magnificent, so deep and vibrant and pure that it sends Phil’s stomach crashing to the floor. 

After a while, it peters out, trilling gently, teasing the growing quiet with more until it stops entirely. 

Dan hunches forwards, his forehead pressing against the stand as his fingers curl into fists. 

“I haven’t heard you play that in a while,” Phil says, trying to keep his voice soft so he won’t startle Dan, but the younger man jumps anyway, spinning to face him. 

There are obvious, shiny tear-tracks over his cheeks.  

“Phil,” he breathes, clearly amazed, “you’re- you’re back.” 

Phil shrugs, shuffling into the room a little. “Where else would I go?”

Dan is silent for a minute, his top teeth trapping his lower lip like he’s trying to button his mouth closed. It doesn’t work. The words burst out anyway, tumbling from his lips in a messy, unprocessed garble.

“I’msosorry-”Dan starts, eyes desperate. “I just- like, I don’t even know why I would say that- I don’t- obviously I don’t think you’re childish, but youknowwhatI’mlike-”

“Dan.” Phil interrupts, gently. 

“And especially after drinking- like, I knew I should’ve said no to that second glass, but-”

“Dan, stop,” Phil urges, moving towards him. 

Sitting down on the piano stool, scooted up against Dan’s side seems to startle him into silence, so Phil takes the opportunity to speak. 

“I’m not really sure who’s right or wrong here.” He confesses, shrugging one shoulder. 

Dan rolls his eyes. “Come on, Phil, there’s no need to become a martyr just because I’m getting a bit weepy-”

Phil smiles, brushing a thumb under each of Dan’s eyes, rubbing away the moisture collected there. “I’m not being a martyr.” Phil turns to face him as much as possible on the stool, trying to get the words straight in his head. “I just think that this - our situation - is a peculiar one. I don’t quite know how to handle it best, y’know?”

Dan nods, chewing his lip again. 

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to be constantly on edge in case I spring a guilt trip on you from nowhere,” Phil says, completely honest about this. “But I also don’t really know how to deal with all the leftover... stuff still inside me from that time. The Birthday Sex time.”

“What kind of ‘stuff’?” Dan asks cautiously, sounding like he doesn’t really want to know the answer. Honestly, Phil is pretty sure Dan won’t like the answer either. 

Phil swallows. “Hurt. Anger. Heartbreak. Insecurity. Anxiety.” Phil swallows again. “You know. Stuff.”

Dan takes a deep breath, but nods again, seeming to understand. “So... you’re saying that ‘stuff’ might sort of... leak out at random, inconvenient times?”

Phil quirks a smile at him. “I’m going to try really, really hard not to let that happen. I don’t want to hurt you, or cause arguments. And you’re right, y’know? What you said earlier - it’s over. I have you now.”

His hand travels absent-mindedly to Dan’s hip, ducking beneath the jumper he’s wearing until his fingers skim the tattoo he knows is inked there. 

Dan shakes his head. “I was a prat earlier. Please don’t take any of what I said to heart.”

Phil chuckles at him, and Dan gives him a serious look.

“No, seriously Phil.” He says, making Phil chuckle more. “If anyone’s a fucking child around here it’s me. I’m the one who threw a god damn bitch fit at you for bringing up your own perfectly valid feelings of betrayal. I mean, what right do I have to yell at you for that when it’s all my fault you ever felt that awful to begin wi-”

Phil kisses him to shut him up, mostly, but also because he’s tipsy and sad and bullying himself for things he’s apologised for so many times. Sometimes, the best way to draw Dan out of his own abusive head is to remind him how much he is loved, despite whatever he may think of himself. 

When Phil draws away, there’s a surprised, sweet expression on Dan’s pretty face. Phil smiles at the sight of it, curling his hand into Dan’s jumper. 

“Your playing was so lovely,” Phil tells him wistfully. 

Dan ducks his head, smiling bashfully. “Thanks. I think that’s the only thing I can play without any mistakes.” 

“Will you play it again?” Phil asks, resting his head on Dan’s shoulder.

Dan pretends to look exasperated, rolling his eyes. “You’re requesting your own song for the second time?”

Phil nods, beaming, and Dan shakes his head fondly, but kisses him nonetheless. He places his hands over the keys, and Phil lights up, settling down to listen, his eyes fluttering closed. 

“As if I could ever say no.” Dan murmurs, then starts to play.

[icharchivist]

And this is going to be a very self indulgent hpm rambling to work through my own issues bc i’m on a roll tonight on self introspection so ya can skip that unless you want to see me project on characters for god knows how long

but ANYWAY I was so caught up with the fact that Dice was so inspiring to me and was specifically the one to give me strength to think “fuck it” and actually thinking more seriously about my independance that i completely overlooked that like… there was reasons why Gentaro became my fav the MOMENT i’ve read his song, and that Gentaro is just as much my fav as Dice.

And I feel like this is always the sort of duo i have both with my fav characters and my fav ships by extension it is like, 1) the character I can enter in depth about while distached from their plot while generally also having some admiration for them, 2) the character I either relate too much to OR I ended up projecting to HELL on that i don’t even know anymore if any of what i’m saying is relevent in analysis bc is it meta or is it therapy you might never know-

But there’s so much to Gentaro where I can just *shoves my symptoms* that it is hhhhhhhhHH.

I mean it always striked to me as odd that while he says his family was poor the reason he was bullied was because “he was adopted” and bc I’m Like That i ended up projecting that perhaps he had some abandon issues that could manifest just like mine, and like I could…. write a lot about that. 

But i tend to overlook that one of the thing that makes it easy for me to project it is that, I was bullied at school and i honest to god closed off for years because of that. I still have a lot of difficulties with where that left me per se, but the kicker? I was told that the reason i started to get bullied in elementary school was because of the rumors surrounding the reasons of my eldest sister’s running away from home, which is the thing i have Abandon Issues About since my parents thought it was clever to Not Let Me Know for about a year that my sister had ran away (and yeah i talked about it to my mom a few days ago, she confirmed it to me that they did try to hide it from me, leading me to believe my sister ran away at my 7yo rather than at my 6th bc they were covering up the truth in that time, that’s f u n)

And the thing is how he specifically talks about how he viewed himself as twisted because he MUST be a bad person if people hates him this much, tat’s something i Feel Deep In My Bones and have felt all my teenagehood, that there was something wrong with me. Bc Like in elementary school i was thinking “it’s the rumors about why my sister left”, but when it kept going in the three middle schools i went to i just thought i was the problem.

When I entered high school i was tired and angry and i remember going to class the first day thinking i dont even want to TRY to make friends. Like not even TRY. Plus one of my elementary school bully was in my class and that didn’t help at all feeling like this year would be any different than the others. 

And I remember that bc on the first day actually i got lost, but there was a girl who had been following me around all day who therefore was lost with me, and when we were asked where we were going, we jusT. looked at each other and we started laughing from confusion, and from that point on we became very close and it is one of my closest friend still to that day. and she often mentions that she wanted to talk to me right away bc we looked like we would be on the same vibe, but i was terrifying her with my death glares dkfhdfk bc i was just in the mindset of nope, no need for friendship this time around.

And from being friend with her i also opened up a lot to others people and that’s how i’ve made the group of friends i now have, but yeah before her basically attempting all day to be my friend despite me sending signal that i didn’t want to, I was just basically also in this mindset of “i must be a terrible person and i don’t need friends” so that kinda rang a chord with me.

While the timeline isn’t the same for me though, the thing is that being bullied all time is what pushed me to start writting when I was about 11? I was writting in class and in between because then i could just afford to not have to think about the fact people hated me for some reasons and i could create realities in which i could just run away.  (and it is still making me so, so salty i ended up completely frozen from writting bc of my ex guh but then i just found back the last drafts i’ve writen and i just… should get back to it tbh)

So like… all those issues i have from those things i ended up projecting on Gentaro a lot and it’s terrible.

One thing i don’t have at all in common with Gentaro is the fact i cannot lie to save a life, like, i freeze when i even think about lying per se. But the funny thing is that i’ve spent… my whole life actually thinking about whenever or not i should lie or not? Okay this is very weird to explain but - my parents lie all the time. And it had me doubt my reality a lot growing up*. And i’ve always… kinda lived this line of “not wanting to share anything about me and make up things about me so people cannot get to me” (which was basically the reaction from being bullied thinking there must be something fundamentally wrong with my real self y’know) VS “I dont’ want to be like my parents and i’m desperate for people to actually know the Real Me for once because it’s not like it’s my parents who’d know that”

and idk it’s something i’ve always found very fascinating with that theme in particular bc it’s not just something i don’t have in common with him, but it’s something i’ve reflect a lot about whenever i wanted to be like that or not, and just took the decision not to - but basically things alligned in my life that this was something i’ve regularly been thinking about ever since i’m a kid.  (and THAT my friend is legit why my favorite characters are all either liars or people who had made up their personalities to distance from their real selves. Bc this has litterally been My Fantasy since i’m a kid. So Cloud, Allen, Lavi, y’all can see where my patern happens there.)

*about thatone of my major projecting or not is that well my parents spent my life gaslighting me on how some events of the past happened and it makes me doubt a lot of my memory, some of whichi just cling to bc i know i wrote them down when they happened. so when Gentaro's editor, a spy from the gov, tells him that the fiction Gentaro just wrote that is based on actual horrors we know the gov is doing, is truly just fiction and try to reinforce that while Gentaro still wonders if it is, i've read it as an attempt of gaslighting. and it was relatable to me and its why i really read the editor stuff as the gov trying tobmake him doubt his past, thus why reaching out to a private detective is to try to fight that back. and anyone who suffered from gaslighting can understand wanting to have someone neutral who can help you point out that no the person was gaslighting you. istg the private detective reveal was a relief to me bc it is just like when i ask my friends if they remember some events ive said in the past that would disprove my parents lies. and it is even worse bc me lile gentaro im sure, have a part of our past no one can attests for so thats when the gaslighting is the worst. i've related h ard to that but again how much is me projecting?? (and tbh this is why i read gentaro's lies as a "you are trying to make me doubt my reality, fine then i'll make my own that i know is false and you cant do anything about it". it's like reclaiming control on his narrative that people are twisting)

(in the end the real thing i don’t have at all in common with Gentaro is his loving parents lmao what are those? don’t know that. But his reaction to them being all “i felt a gratitude infinite for those people who didn’t have to care for me that i’ve refused to even let them know i wanted things so they wouldn’t have to sacrifice things for me” is….. my attitude toward my friends. As in my best friends always have to insist for me to actually let them spoil me from time to time. And by spoil i mean “giving me money to see the doctor bc my parents failed to do that”. So this is HUH.)

Anyway the point of what i’m trying to say is that therefore i can interpret every single of Gentaro’s reactions or stuff in the lenses of how i personally lived those things i ended up finding… relatability in Gentaro’s story y’know?

Like i’m thinking about the fact a while ago i did a long post about how Dice was Gentaro’s comfort zone. “ At any given opportunity, Gentaro would rather get close to Dice than to try to even connect with anyone else, avoiding every conversations possible if he cannot deviate it on focusing on Dice, almost as if the world scares him enough for him to prefer to be near someone he trusts. “

I’m.. just realizing (i mean this is what prompted this post) that the freak out i just had in my previous post about the fact People kinda scare me because it is outside of my comfort zone that this is about the reading i projected on Gentaro’s behavior there: That Gentaro seems to not want to spend a lot of time connecting with new people and eventually just always get back to a comfort zone and this zone is Dice for him, but like.. point still stand that it depicts him as quite uncomfortable with People in general as a result that he cannot stay around them unless he is staying close to Dice.

*puts head gently on table* and that’s likely major projecting but i didn’t realize it until just now where i realized i would… essentially do the same or that at least, this was natural for me to interpret his behavior as him being uncomfortable around people. because that’s how i’d live it. I just… didn’t think about how that connected until now.

And there were… more elements i’ve picked up along the time i’ve overanalysed Gentaro (remember i have a 178 page long file of rambling about how i read Gentaro and Dice?) i’m not thinking about right now per se. 

but like his fear of the Posse splitting up really does call back to me to the fact he *was* abandonned *and bullied for that*, so while he initially was ready for the Posse to be just temporary, now he couldn’t let go of it y’know? 

and hell lol there is the whole HC i have about him projecting on NLH that is litterally me just projecting bc that’s what i’d do, but then again NLH and Gentaro… has bounds that could explain that. And well i gues sjust the fact Gentaro is that attached to fiction is probably the one thing that is very easy to relate to. “reality is often more disappointing than fiction” is… litterally what i’ve always been thinking all of my life so lemme tell you that when i’ve read this translation after he did a full fanfiction of his life (which i do in my head a few times to try to process my anxieties so I ALSO relate to that), i had a big whiplash of huH.

Also man i get the thing about having ridiculous triggers, even if mine didn’t… translate themselves the way his did. But i have very ridiculous things that can send me down depression spiral down or panic at once and honestly this was.. woah to see. 

“it’s by learning from the past that we can make a future” he says in battle x 3 and that one still cracks me up bc i’ve been litterally raised with the sentence “we need to learn where we come from to go where we’re going”, it was my mom’s motto to get me interested into history (although very bold from the woman who didn’t pass down any of her cultural heritage but that’s an irony for another day). Like everytime he says this sentence i have a throw back bc I’ve. litterally used this sentence in my /essays for classes/ that’s how much it is in my head.

I’m losing track of what i mean, my meds finally kicked in so now i’m not too much into digging into my trauma as i was 20 mins ago but at any rate, 

Gentaro is very very very important to me and idk how much is projecting and all but his behavior just makes SENSE to me, it is just… so logical. 

And to me he’s such a vulnerable character who is just trying to at least give off a feeling you cannot hurt him because he’s been hurt before and doesn’t want to… let it happen again. He can give an approachable facade but he doesn’t really let himself be opened with people around him and when he does he always does it in a way he can be distached from it -say sending the message via writing a fanfic rather than saying “hey i’m anxious about that”. 

i don’t know. meds have kicked in too badly i’ve lost my train of thoughts.

But yeah. 

Gentaro good and i just love him so much and it still kinda kills me how the moment i’ve heard his song i knew he was going to be my fav yet it took me months to actually get back to “why is he my fav” without realizing that i’ve therefore done meta entierely based on how “i can relate to his trauma and his reactions remind me of how my symptoms manifest” so that’s a thing.

jkhl it’s funny bc meanwhile i remain more comfortable with a dice icon and all but…….. man, gentaro man.

so yeah just ✌ what a saga man