#anyway consider these notes in the margins etc etc

[scoops-aboy86]

Crushing (Secret Admirer pt 6)

Steddie Week 2024, July 6: Dizzy / drunken confessions / Crush on You by Bruce Springsteen

Fun fact: there are “sorry”s to correspond with a nat 20. It’s a luck thing, though more reflexive than actually hopeful. 

If you turn 6 upside down it's a 9 and today's the 9th, so I would argue that I am still right on time. 🙃 Anyway, I didn't get to the drunken confession part but it was getting too long, so that can be in the last chapter. Enjoy!

wc: 3034 / rated: T / set during season 3 / also on ao3

Sweet Steve, perfect Steve, golden Steve,

Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry SORRY

I cannot adequately express how much I regret hanging up on you. It happened a few minutes ago and I’m already writing this because I can’t call back now, not after that. I can’t believe I even did that, I’m so stupid. I’m so stupid because you were saying all these perfect things? Literally everything I never thought I’d get to hear from anyone ever and then I ruined it. 

(The scribbles in the margins are representative of all the times I stop writing just to explosively cuss myself out for being so chickenshit. It looks messy but I am a mess and it’s all my own doing, made my bed and lying in it etc. etc., if I could mount my own head on a pike right now I would Jesus H. CHRIDJDBBWLSNEVEOALAVSVALAMDBDBXJXLFKENSVAVWUELMFBDUSKANS <— an example and demonstration)

I’m sorry I’m a coward. I’m sorry I started this and can’t seem to follow through, I’m sorry I keep yanking you around when it’s not what you deserve sweetheart, it isn’t at all. You were perfect, do you hear me? I had a whole list of songs planned, but picked that one spontaneously because you weren’t digging WASP and I was thinking about the way you’re so hard on yourself sometimes about the guy you were in high school, even though all high schoolers are idiots. (With how many times I’ve had to repeat, I am an expert on this, obviously largely from personal study and reflection.) You didn’t peak in high school, Steve, because you are a wonderful person right now and that’s what matters. You call yourself a romantic sap but I love that about you, please never lose that. 

With every letter you’ve poured out a little of your soul; it only seems right that I try to do the same to make up for my… everything. 

I’m a guy. I’m gay. I’ve never written that down before so explicitly but it’s true. You were so thoughtful about the whole music thing and trying to show we can have common interests but, to be blunt, unless dick is one of those I don’t think this is going to work out. 

No hard feelings obviously. It’s on me for letting this go on so long without being more honest. This is absolutely no reflection on you and does not make you queer by association. I won’t tell anyone—though if I did I’m not considered credible or trustworthy in this town, believe me. 

If you’ve read this far… I mean, I won’t know unless you tell me, obviously. But it doesn’t have to mean anything other than that you’re a good dude. The only person in my life who knows about me and knows my name is the man who’s more like a father to me than my “real” dad; it’s nothing personal, I’ve just had some bad experiences. Remember that concussion I mentioned? … Yeah, that was courtesy of the ol’ sperm donor. Thought I was over freezing up about it after more than half a decade, but no such luck!

On that note, I need to go… not be a person for a while. Take care. I remain, as always—

Your Secret Admirer

P. S. The song you said you liked was Rainbow In The Dark by Dio, off his Holy Diver album. It’s a good album, even if I’ve blown it with you I still hope you check it out sometime. 

Eddie drops the pen over the side of his bed, practically throwing it. He drops the notebook he’d scribbled the letter in to the floor; he’ll tear it out and mail it later. 

Probably. 

Maybe. 

He’ll think about it, once he’s done not wanting to think anything at all. 

~

Dear Secret Admirer,

Are you okay? I can’t call you back, so the best I can do right now is write. I shouldn’t have pushed you again, I keep doing that, like an idiot. 

I was having a nice time

Call back whenever, if I’m there I’ll pick up. Call back tonight even, except I can’t get this in the mail until tomorrow so never mind, but I won’t be mad, I promise. Or you can write to me. Please. At least to be friends, if you’re tired of how I always come on too strong (which is literally what Robin keeps telling me with that damn whiteboard all the time, go figure). And maybe you can tell me more about your music, like that one with the rainbows? I think that maybe you’ve been writing to me so much because maybe you’re lonely too, and I know how much that sucks. 

So, I’ll be here. Whoever you are, wherever, I hope you’re okay. Stay safe. 

— Steve

~

All Steve can think about is how stupid he was, pushing Secret Admirer like that. He hasn’t gotten a letter yet, and genuinely doesn’t know if he ever will again. 

Robin doesn’t ask why he’s quieter than usual during work for the next few days. Dustin returns from Camp Know Where and Steve tells him he doesn’t want ice cream because he has to stay in shape for the ladies, but it leaves the bad taste of a mostly-lie in his mouth. 

Because, oh yeah, breaking news: he thinks Secret Admirer is probably a guy. 

That would explain the adamant secrecy, the way the letters are careful not to suggest one or the other. No matter how embarrassing Steve is, a girl would have less to lose compared to a gay dude being outed in Hawkins. And he knows for a fact there were rumors circulating after Jonathan Byers gave him his first and mildest concussion in ‘83. Rumors about what he’d said, what he’d spat at the guy, all no doubt spread by Tommy and Carol. All his past actions coming together to prove that he can’t be trusted, can’t be confided in, even after everything. 

It’s almost secondary that it doesn’t seem to make a difference to his feelings. He may have fallen for someone who happens to be a guy—so what? It’s better than crushing loneliness. Better than no one caring. Better than being forgotten aside from his douchebag legacy at school and all his parents’ dashed aspirations for his future. 

Then Steve finds himself trapped in a Russian elevator with Robin, Dustin, and Lucas’s little sister (who should absolutely not be here, what the fuck were they thinking) and he just. 

He just regrets never getting to say goodbye. 

~ 

Eddie gets Steve’s letter the day he manages to crawl out of his room long enough to mail his own, checking his PO Box like a nervous tic. He’s absolutely floored by what he reads and screams into his pillow some more because it doesn’t change anything, because Steve wrote it while still not in possession of all the facts. 

After a drive out to Reefer Rick’s to replenish his stash, Eddie does the bare minimum of his regularly scheduled drop-offs. No rest for the wicked, because even the wicked need gas money and shit, but it’s all just halfhearted busy work. 

Then he goes home. Against all common sense and knowing that for the sake of his own heart he probably shouldn’t, he spends the rest of the day trying to call. Every time he punches in the numbers with his heart in his throat, but no one ever picks up. 

~

“Ask me anything,” Robin prods blearily from her stall. “Interrogate me.” 

Steve tries to think through the swimming in his head. “Okay, uh… When was the last time you peed your pants?”

“Today!”

He almost laughs. “No way. What?”

“When the Russian doctor brought his bone saw out. It was just a little bit though!” 

He can picture her holding one hand up, fingers pinched together to indicate a tiny amount. And, okay, fair. “Yeah it’s definitely in her system,” he mumbles to no one. 

“My turn,” she declares. “Have you… ever been in love?”

Steve does laugh this time, not because it’s funny but because the question hits him right between the eyes. “Shit, yeah, a couple times. Uh, first was Nancy Wheeler, junior year.”

“Ooooh… She’s such a priss, though.”

“Yeah, turns out, not so much.” He shrugs, even though she can’t see, hands dangling from where his arms are draped over his bare, scraped knees. There isn’t a part of him that doesn’t ache—including his stomach and throat now, fucking Russian drugs. 

“Huh.” Robin pauses. “So… who was second?”

Sighing, Steve drops his head back against the metal divider at his back. “That blind phone date I told you about.”

It’s a toss-up as to whether he’s admitting this because of the aforementioned drugs or because he’s just too tired to give a shit anymore. What does it really matter, at this point?

“Really? Wow. Okay, I didn’t realize that got so serious.”

Steve lets his eyes fall closed, despite what is likely his third concussion in almost as many years. “It kind of didn’t, I just got… over-invested, I guess. I don’t know if he’s going to write again anyway.”

“H… he?”

“I think so. It was a secret admirer kind of deal, so I never actually knew, but… every time I brought up meeting in person, things went wrong. And like an idiot I kept doing that, so. I don’t know for sure, but I think it might be over.”

Robin’s hand smacks on the tile floor—gross. “How do you not even know for sure after a phone date? Gay guys still sound like guys, Steve.”

“I know that,” he says, a little stung by her reproachful tone. “I talked and he didn’t, he just played some of his favorite songs for me to see if I liked them. Which I did, some of it. It was like, really hard rock or something, not what I usually listen to—”

“I’ll say, Mr. ‘No, Not My Wham! Cassette!’”

“—but it was okay. There were some really cool guitar parts.”

“And it… doesn’t bother you? That a guy was, uh, hitting on you?”

Again, Steve shrugs. “More writing love letters than just hitting on me, but… yeah. I was in pretty deep by the time I figured it out, but I guess not. Is it my turn to ask another question?”

“Um… Sure?”

He’s not sure why she sounds so nervous, figures it should be obvious what he’s going to ask next. It’s kind of a staple of their friendship at this point. “Who sent me that ice cream cone? The strawberry with rainbow sprinkles?”

Dead silence. 

“Robin?” he asks with a flicker of nerves, because, well. It’s been a long day. (Or two days? He’s lost track of how much time they’d spent underground.) “You OD over there?”

“No… I am alive,” she replies, but in such a quiet voice that it doesn’t really reassure him all that much. 

He shifts, scooting on his ass to get under the divider between them and pop back up on her side. It gives him a wedgie, but that’s the least of his problems. 

Robin wrinkles her nose at him. “Steve, these floors are disgusting.”

“Yeah, well, I’m already covered in blood and probably some puke, so.” He tests his tongue on his bottom lip, trying to decide if the split is still bleeding or if it just stings for the hell of it. “Who was it?”

She bites her own lip, then whispers, “Is it your secret admirer?”

“I’m ninety-nine percent sure,” he tells her. 

“Okay.” But she’s still hesitating. “Before I tell you… About what I said down there, about Click’s class. I wasn’t staring at you because of you, it… it was because she wouldn’t stop staring at you.”

Steve blinks, confused by the sudden change of topic. “Who? Mrs. Click?”

Robin shakes her head faintly without breaking eye contact, literally without blinking as she whispers, “Tammy Thompson.”

“But she’s a… Oh. Oooh.” He remembers Tammy. She’d always fawned over him in that class, back when he’d been so busy mourning the way things had gone with Nancy that he hadn’t given her the time of day. “Yeah, I guess I see the appeal. Pretty, perky, blonde… She’s a total dud though.”

Robin gapes at him. “What?”

He waves a hand. “I’d just broken up with Nancy, and she was all over me all the time, dropping these hints about wanting to go out. It’s like she wanted to be a rebound relationship.”

“So? She’s goal oriented!”

“She wouldn’t leave me alone! Also, she wants to be a country singer but she couldn’t hold a tune if someone put it in a bucket for her.”

Sputtering, Robin smacks at his shin, one of the few places he isn’t bloody or bruised. “I will not take this superiority from the guy who’s surprise-crushing on Eddie Munson!” 

Shock zings through Steve like he’s just had his fingers jammed into an electrical socket. “On—really?”

He remembers Munson too. Who wouldn’t? Loud and weird, and the guy had always seemed perpetually on, always bristled like a porcupine. Stalking around campus in a black leather jacket regardless of weather and ripped black jeans. (Dark colors.) That denim vest with all the weird band patches on it. (Music that Steve didn’t know anything about.) Big flashy rings on his fingers, and Steve knows he’s in some sort of band, probably has guitar calluses. (Hands that would give him away at a glance.) Up on cafeteria tables with his Hellfire Club shirt and long hair, taunting the jocks who gave his friends shit. (Nerd, check. Not into sports, triple check. He’s pretty sure the dude had failed gym at least once for refusing to wear gym shorts.)

Literally the last person in Hawkins who should’ve had eyes for King Steve.

“Munson likes me?” Steve can’t feel his face too well, what with the beating he’d taken earlier during interrogation, so he’s not sure if he’s blushing. His voice definitely does something funny on the last word, though. 

“He said not to tell you who it was from because he thought you might toss it if you knew it was from him,” Robin admits. “Which seemed like a reasonable concern at the time, but that’s because I didn’t know—”

But then Dustin bursts in on them. The kid looks frazzled, and from there on out it’s all running and more blood and a monster made out of people and fireworks and death, their bathroom conversation forgotten. 

~

Eddie had given up on calling around the time the fireworks show started over the mayor’s kiss-ass 4th of July fair. Downed a couple beers while trying not to wonder if Steve found a date to take. Is still awake when Wayne comes in from his shift, and wanders out of his room because anything’s got to be better than staring at the ceiling. 

“Starcourt burned down,” his uncle tells him while Eddie moves zombie-like through the motions of making them each a cup of coffee. “Radio said the police ain’t ruling out arson. Drove past it on the way, there’s search and rescue folks crawling all over the rubble lookin’ for survivors.”

After Wayne goes to bed, Eddie tries dialing Steve’s number one more time. 

No one answers. 

~

After much pleading from Robin, and since Steve’s car keys are still god knows where and his parents are out of town, the Buckleys graciously agree to let him stay in their guest room. It’s just as well, Robin insists; with the concussion, someone should be around to check on him every few hours. 

“That’s only for the first twenty-four,” he points out the next day. He knows the drill. 

“I don’t care,” Robin insists. “You took a beating to protect the rest of us. You could have been killed, Steve! I am checking on you every few hours for the rest of my life from now on, just see if I don’t.”

“Please don’t,” Steve groans, but he’s grinning. Despite the way his ribs and head throb, and the dark circle under the eye that isn’t literally still swollen shut, it’s nice to have someone to be normal with—not ignoring what had happened, he’d learned his lesson about that with Nancy, but taking it into account and then going ‘yes and.’  “Or at least make sure to always knock first.”

“Why w—Ew! Never mind, if you’re feeling good enough to make jokes then you’re probably fine, offer rescinded.”

“You’re still gonna,” Steve points out, then knocks back the painkillers she’s brought him. Mr. Buckley’s shoulder surgery prescription, meet two broken ribs, black eye, and recently re-set nose. 

She sits on the edge of the bed, next to the duffel bag of clothes from his house that her mom had driven her to pick up for him. “Yeah yeah, shut up.”

Silence settles over them for a moment while Steve tries to get comfortable. And fails. His ribs really aren’t doing him any favors today. The discomfort is why he’s still in unflatteringly baggy shorts borrowed from Mr. Buckley and a t-shirt Robin had thrown at his head as a joke (and then helped him out on, since he can’t lift his arms that high without wanting to scream) that declares him a fan of Siouxsie and the Banshees. 

He has no idea how to pronounce Siouxsie and is kind of afraid to ask. 

“Sooo,” Robin starts. “Eddie Munson, huh?”

“Uh.” Steve can’t run a hand through his hair with his stupid ribs, not when he’s not running entirely on adrenaline or before the painkillers kick in, so he settles for twiddling his thumbs. “Yeah? I guess so. His letters are… They’re really good, Rob. I kinda don’t know why he keeps writing when my replies are so crappy. Like… I can’t even do them justice trying to explain.”

“Huh.” She waits a beat. “Well, I checked your mailbox, just in case, and there was a hand-addressed envelope that I brought back for you—”

Ribs be damned, Steve lunges for that duffel.

Tag list (and if you missed the earlier chapters check the "#secret admirer steddie" tag on my blog): @hotluncheddie @lawrencebshoggoth @sofadofax @tangerinesteve @steviewashere

@cryingglightningg @theresebelivett @sleepy-steve @rozzieroos @lunaraindrop

@just-my-latest-hyperfixation @wheneverfeasible @swimmingbirdrunningrock @yesdangerpls @matchingbatbites

@ihavekidneys @p0lybl4nkk @grtwdsmwhr @cheesedoctor @whalesharksart

@thetinymm @envyadams-vs-me @practicallybegging @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @dauntlessdiva

@nerdyglassescheeseychick @fuzzyduxk @chaosgremlinmunson @greatwerewolfbeliever @goosesister

@dolphincliffs @friendlyneighborhoodgaycousin @beckkthewreck @pitrsattabhaadmeinjao

[a-book-of-creatures]

What notable books (or author) on folklore and/or mythology would you consider to have reliable info, and which ones definitely don't? It's a broad ask, but what are the first names that come to mind?

Very good ask! I'll try to see if I can put my thoughts in words, but if you need any further examples or evaluations let me know.

Here's a general rule: primary sources are Good. Books that directly reference primary sources are Good. The more distance between a book and the primary source, the less reliable it gets. Always ask yourself, where is this book getting its information from? How does it present this information? If you're not dealing with primary sources, always check to see how information is presented and where possible errors could creep in.

For example...

Books like these are the gold standard for reliability. If I was handing out ratings, they would score a perfect 5 out of 5. Everything is extensively cited (the second book is practically all citations). You can't go wrong with these.

In general the more specialized a book is, the more reliable it is. So the excellent Meeting With Monsters gets a very respectable 4.5 out of 5. Very detailed info just about Icelandic monsters. Why not 5? The authors engage in some speculative creature building where they treat the monsters as real animals and invent features for them (the hrosshvalur has dorsal spines teeming with bacteria that infect the wounds it causes, for instance). But these are restricted to marginal notes and do not interfere with the actual information.

More general books generally get less reliable. Again, ask, where are those sources? What are they?

This one is often held up as the encyclopedia of mythical creatures currently in print. It's a decent starting point to start looking for things. It has sources and each entry is linked to its sources. The entries are written in a dry, concise encyclopedic style. But it relies far too much on second and third (and fourth, etc) hand sources. Scratch a little past the surface and you start finding weird mistakes, errors, inaccuracies. Snowballing misinformation. I would consider this to be of average reliability at best. A 2.5 out of 5 or so. Best used as a suggestion to dig into deeper, better things.

This one is a broad introduction to dragons, but instead of an encyclopedia, each "entry" (chapter?) is presented as a retelling of that story. And with that comes very low reliability and heavy use of secondary sources. The retellings make stuff up that isn't anywhere in the originals and miss a lot of the point of the stories - and spread misinformation that continues to propagate online. Also there's plenty of cryptozoology in there so eeehhhh.

This one is obviously aimed at a younger audience, but I'm mentioning it because of one amusing detail. It seems to be a good introduction for children to dragon mythology. Except it presents with a straight face the marsupial dragon as a dragon from Australia. The marsupial dragon, you know, which was written into Dragonology as a joke? And Dragonology wouldn't even have made my primary-source-reliability anyway! Some due-diligence was not duly diligenced, if I may say so.

Then there are books that are just... confusing.

Like anything by Pierre Dubois. On the surface they seem well-researched. But the references and cross-references are more opaque than... uh... a very opaque thing. He clearly has a lot of them, but it's anyone's guess where the information he got came from (no cross-referencing, you see). Combine that with him just making stuff up to pad page numbers and it's never clear what is "true" and what he wrote (and some of it is distasteful, not going to lie). Sometimes he even misses the interesting part of legends just to write his own stories. The most charitable take is that this is literary fantasy, and maybe what he's said can be traced to actual reliable folkloric sources, but after having used him as a source of information I cannot recommend him. You could also argue that Dubois never does claim that this is a scholarly reference, but it sure is presented as one.

I have so far restricted myself to books that claim (or seem to claim) to be references on myth, legend, and folklore. Books that engage in speculative "creature building" (e.g. Dragonology, The Flight of Dragons, etc) would not be reliable as references, but they're still great books. You just wouldn't use them as sources of information.

... or would you? Sometimes non-reference books get treated as such, and then the information they made up gets reified by being parroted uncritically by later books. Like Woodruff's book above. A fake "long-lost expedition journal" by Pliny the Elder, it's an excuse for (gorgeous) art and Latin practice. Except that some of the made-up stuff in there found its way out of the book and - uncited - ended up in supposedly serious works. Like the Pyrallis being a dragon, or the two-headed Hyperborean frogs. Confusing. It even got a minor news mention because people were taking it seriously!

Anyway, how about you? Any books you find reliable or unreliable?

[sergeifyodorov]

now who would be the football (soccer) gretzky… messi? ronaldo? pele? maradona? my personal pick is messi based on career consistency, awards won (he’s won EVERYTHING), worldwide popularity, career longevity, how hard the game is to play now and the level of competition vs in the classic era, etc etc. as with all sports you run into issues with comparing eras (the age old Would gretzky still dominate in today’s era of hockey) and players but.. i’m interested in your take. if you have one?! and a note on f1: you really can’t compare verstappen to hamilton. hamilton and schumacher, yes, but verstappen has accumulated the majority of his wins (i’m thinking across the last 2-3 seasons) in a series of cars that are perhaps the greatest f1 cars ever made. f1 is heavily based on equipment (the whole idea is that these aren’t spec cars - the engineering REALLY matters) more than the other sports u are discussing so it’s tough… yes the driving is a part of it but the car and the setup is so important. also now that other teams have been developing better cars this season hes really fallen back from his performances last year and in 2022, when he had the best car by far and never had to compete for wins as he was almost always in pole position. anyway. some thoughts!

I prefer to measure greats relative to their time -- like, we'll never know if 80's gretzky could compete with 2020s mcdavid, and that kind of speculation isn't really my cup of tea?

also re futbol gretzky -- not all sports have one. to me "the GOAT" and "the Gretzky" are two different (but related) concepts: a GOAT is just a greatest of all time, no matter how slim the margin; a Gretzky is not only a greatest of all time but someone who is so mindblowingly the greatest of all time that only the most pedantic devil's-advocate types will even consider arguing, and even then mostly for angry clicks anyways. MY favourite is messi though the power of a short king who cannot die is immeasurable

also also re f1/car advancement -- this feels like an ancient snow-covered cravasse of discourse several km deep that i'm about to jump into with neither icepick nor parka but i'm legitimately not sure what the difference is between winning because you have the best car in a motorsports race and scoring a million gd points because you have the best hockey-related spatial awareness in a hockey game. what's the separation between man and machine? gordie howe played with no helmet and wooden sticks, connor mcdavid plays with carbon fibre composite and a full helmet-visor. stan mikita was one of the first to bend stick blades and he won hart trophies for it! was that cheating? aren't you the best if you're the best?

[qqueenofhades]

One of the most surprising things I learned recently is that Bernie doesn’t do well with Black voters, and I was wondering if you knew why that is? I feel like his platform is fairly popular so I just wonder why he fails to win their votes?

It's because Black Democrats a) like actual Democrats, and b) also don't have time to waste with empty moral posturing when they are intimately aware of how public policy and progressive (or reactive/reactionary) politics affect their everyday life, in a way that a lot of privileged white Bernie Bros were utterly unequipped to consider (and indeed, attacked the Black Democrats for "not knowing what's best for them," which is not paternalistic or racist at all!) Black Democrats also know how important voting is, because of the obvious fact that they were disenfranchised, had their political accomplishments totally dismantled at the end of Reconstruction, had to literally fight through dogs, gas, guns, and screaming white supremacists to exercise their vote and win their civil rights in the 1960s, and are consistently targeted today by white Republicans attempting to gerrymander, restrict, penalize, or otherwise eradicate their rights. Black Democrats don't vote for empty performative politics, they vote for results. Bernie is great at one, and very bad at the other. Three guesses which.

Elderly Black Democrats in South Carolina allegedly "saved" Biden's 2020 campaign (after Bernie had done well in the EXTREMELY white Iowa and New Hampshire primaries; the ordering of the primaries and the excessive prognostications attached to Uber White Midwestern/New England Results is dumb, but anyway). And that was because Black Democrats have good reason to like Biden. He spent eight years willingly supporting and never upstaging the first Black president, he picked the first Black/Asian woman as his vice president, he put the first Black woman on SCOTUS, he has spent years championing their concerns at an actual tangible and legislative level, and they know that they can trust him. By contrast, Bernie is one of those leftists who dismisses all other kinds of oppression as secondary to the class struggle and thinks that racism, sexism, misogyny, etc. are all inferior injustices to economic injustice. And yes! Economic injustice is very much a thing! But if you go around telling marginalized communities to their faces that their many, many years of lived experience with racial oppression isn't as "real" as economic injustice, and/or that racism will magically be solved by economic redress and you don't need to do anything else about it, don't be surprised when that is not a winning message.

Besides, and as noted: Bernie has spent fifty years in politics and achieved nothing really meaningful (unlike Biden, who has also been in politics for fifty years and has real and significant legislative accomplishments as senator, vice president, and president). His policies are on-paper progressive, but Black Democrats and Black people in general aren't a monolithically progressive voting bloc, and have other concerns and issues that intersect with their support (or lack thereof) for him. There are very few Black people who can afford to take their vote for granted, or to vote for somebody who hasn't demonstrated any interest in going through the legislative process to achieve real results, and instead spends most of his time talking loudly to left-leaning white progressives and cultivating a "Only I, Great Bernie, Can Solve Your Problems" political mentality, which then spills into sore loserdom and was an issue in both 2008 and (most visibly and unforgivably) in 2016.

Basically, in my view, Bernie mostly exists to be the totem for a certain subset of privileged white leftists to club the Democratic Party over the head and set impossible standards of what they "should" be doing, which in turn actively undermines support for the Democrats and helps nakedly fascist Republicans win more elections. And despite nominally running as a Democrat, he in fact is not a Democrat (he sits as an independent) and makes no effort to court central Democratic constituencies. Of which, and obviously, African-Americans are one of the greatest parts, due to consistently voting to get this country out of the mess that fascist white people keep trying to plunge it into. Any candidate who does not understand that, and does not make serious efforts to do so, likewise should not be taken seriously. Therefore, no matter how mad it makes his frothing internet stans (who likewise are not serious people with actual political opinions), the Democratic party apparatus has no real need to humor him and his self-aggrandizing constant talking about things that he never, ever actually does shit about.

[brandwhorestarscream]

Seekers have sparklings through slightly translucent eggs

Praxians have them(sparklings) in the form of marsupial pouches

In the decepticons, when Barricade ends up/is carrying, the only explanation that he gives to the seekers, when asked about the eggs, is by showing, very quickly, the pouche

I'm sorry, when you say "have" sparklings, do you mean... like, the actual birthing process? Cuz im onboard with seekerlings being somewhat visible inside their eggs, that's cool

But if Praxians utilize marsupial-esque pouches, they wouldn't be born in there. That's. Not how marsupials work. The baby is born what we would consider incredibly early, a marginally developed fetus without functional limbs, eyes, ears, etc. It then crawls/climbs up its mother's abdomen and makes its way into the pouch, where it'll then attach to a teat and undergo the rest of its development. Fun fact, when the baby emerges from the pouch for the first time, all fuzzy and cute, it's sometimes called a second birth

I raised wallabies for several years 👉👈 I love this subject

ANYWAY. I think that'd definitely be really cool, if praxians did smthn similar with their young. Bitties are born a very short time after conception, but are in no way, shape, or form ready for life on the outside. They spend the next god-knows-how-long developing in a separate incubation chamber that's not actually part of their carrier's internals, which means Praxian births are extremely easy and the carrying cycle isn't all that dangerous or painful. So, W praxians

Side note, I don't think Barricade would just... flash his sparkling pouch to anyone. The baby has no immune system at this point, no temperature regulation, no means of defense. The slightest thing could kill them. Someone might later on notice his pouch pocket is a bit rounder or swollen, and that's the first indication that he's got a passenger onboard 🤭

[botaniqueer]

Forward: This post isn't meant judgmentally, targeted at anyone in particular or as a gotcha and I write in entirely good faith.

A question I have for white folks in particular (but also abled people, cis people, etc, but also everyone in general who votes) when engaging with electoral politics is, are you taking measures to protect the rest of us from your candidates? There's no perfect candidate for sure, but that means people will be hurt, and as voters we have a responsibility to call out and prevent harm that our candidates do; if we aren't then we're directly complicit in that harm. Are you willing to put your bodies and minds on the line to protect those who aren't going to be protected by those candidates? Because of the nature of US politics, our own candidates need to be challenged just as fiercely as if someone else got elected.

Again, I'm not against voting at all! I literally vote blue every time and in every election. I think there's strategic value in it, but we have to actually strategize, which hasn't been getting done. Are we actually engaging with why people are hesitant to vote? People use the "you're damaging your own cause!" whenever people seen as "scary leftists" participate in their actions, but it's never applies to liberal and electoral politics even though the same can be said. Trying to harp on and guilt people into voting when without engaging with why that is just damages the cause and pushes them further away. Also note that the majority of people critical of the way electoral politics are done are BIPOC; this is important to think about.

The democrats are objectively better for more people than the republicans, but there are people who are destitute to the point where those two parties are the same. Palestinians for example! Democrats also fund police measure against homeless folks as we see in the PNW, which is strongly blue. Indigenous people here are another similar group– the way indigeneity is legislated here, they're literally programmed to eventually go extinct from a legal standpoint due to the colonial law of blood quantum. Not to mention that reservations are literally, in their words, concentration camps.

Are you going to make things better for yourself and leave others to fall through the cracks? Or are you going to use that to lift everyone else up? This traditionally hasn't been the case, so if you want BIPOC voters to trust you, you have to demonstrate that you won't get attached to you candidates and hold them on a pedestal.

How are you going to assuage fears when people get anxious (and they will!) without also invalidating their fears (which is common under electoral politics votes). Can you do this without a lot of the manipulative tactics a lot of outlets use? (Blaming disaffected BIPOC for when things go wrong, using the "well the other guy is worse!" line.) Folks ask for 1000 step plans when talking about non-electoral political elements, but when engaging with electoral politics people treat it like magic, and if anyone falls through the cracks and complains, they're just being cantankerous. This is only a small percentage of the things that need to be considered.

Election season is also really retraumatizing for folks who have colonized backgrounds. Are you making sure we feel safe? Are we being thought about as real people, instead of just abstracts or as a resource to generate votes, but who are just being obstinate? (As opposed to again, real people with real motivations)

As a final note, people also comment on "Why abstain anyways when you know it's going to be bad either way?" for particularly marginalized people, and I think the answer (folks in those situations can correct me here) is that it's more cathartic to watch the people who let you slip through the cracks fall with you, than slipping through the cracks and watching those same people have brunch and pretend you and your problems don't exist. It's like being trapped in a room with only crumbs to eat while the people on the other side of the door throw a dinner party, and if you complain, yell at you saying that the other guys wouldn't even give you crumbs.

[pisboy]

as a fellow alopecia haver would you mind if i asked a few questions about how you cope with it? like, do you wear hats or wigs or do clever hairstyles to hide it or do you just let it show? ive tried pills and scalp shots and nothing is reversing mine. im only 26 and i feel like this is the worst thing to ever happen to me and i dont know what to do about it. nobody even thinks balding women exist. nobody considers how it is to actually be one. im so scared no one will ever like me or find me cute again. i used to think i was so cute. this sucks so bad.

For me the back of my head around the nape and up to nearly the top of my scalp has never grown hair, not even when I was born. My father also has alopecia areata and he has a few golfball-to-coin sized patches he loses and regrows at a random basis. So I've had my entire life to contend with hair loss and family that was familiar with it, so I sympathize so incredibly hard to women who develop it later in life. It is probably mortifying.

So yeah, shots and pills and balms and oils and etc have never worked for me. I also lose hair at random basis around the rest of my scalp, mainly around the margins of my crown (losing my bangs) and the sides of the back where I already do not grow hair. I also lose half my left eyebrow on a regular basis. If you go far back enough in my #me tag I've posted what it looks like. I also preface some of my advice might not be helpful if you have afro-textured hair, but I will recommend someone who will be extremely helpful in that respect.

Also I hope you don't mind me doing a shotgun blast of advice but maybe my experience will help someone

Things that worked for me:

I've always been flipping my part as my hair cycles in a growth/loss state for my bangs. Low pony tails tend to hold better than high ones in what is essentially a clever combover. Uhhh and always keep a hair tie around in case there is wind lol I always get self conscious when there's a breeze.

This is kind of vague and probably shitty advice but I've noticed over the years I lose hair when I am stressed, so I've had to make the call (in addition to other factors) to quit jobs that really strain me and I've noticed improvement in hair growth. So depending on your circumstances I say make some effort to reduce your other stress factors while you go through figuring it out. This shit is literally traumatizing.

This thing here is basically a pepper shaker for keratin bits that can color-fill in patches of missing (or really tiny short baby) hair. I can only speak as a brunette but it works pretty damn good as some camouflage for your skin poking out where you can't cover it. Do note it kind of has an ashy texture so it's something to wash out at night like makeup. Scalp makeup lol.

Hats are good. I wore trucker hats for most of my teen years, but I don't wear them much anymore, especially being out of the stress of school. However - a piece of advice from a mentor of mine, Jamie Elmore, is to call hats, bands, scarves, wigs, anything under an umbrella term "accessory." It's kind of corny but sometimes conceptualizing these things that way helps coping with the impulse of a world that demands you hide your hair loss and another where you can freely express yourself without fear of judgement. Anyway, I recommend looking her up, she has a magazine and works hard for the alopecia community, particularly for black alopecians.

Oh yeah if you can find those hippy chick silk hair bands that have the elastic around the back, I love those. Regular bandanas are also good.

Uhhh shorter hair also tends to weigh and pull less, which I think everyone has varying sensitivity to, but to anyone considering a bob, why not might help lol. I also lose my hair in the largest amounts in the shower, so like, if you develop a weird complex about showering I know allllllll about it.

I have tried partial wigs, which are custom cut out and adhered to your head, and it's nice if you want to do hairstyles you otherwise could not, but it's high maintenance, very itchy, and gets gummy after about a week.

But yeah it's been a very slow and steady process to get used to going out in public without putting effort in camouflaging my alopecia, and that mostly has to do with tuning people out. The existential stuff gets personal so I save those conversations for a 1-to-1. *Holds you by the shoulder* we are all coping out here.

I look at that sword of Damocles hanging over my head and if my scalp gets wiped out beyond all sidepart repair, I'll go full wig-wearing. I once had a hair stylist who was giddy at the idea of shaving my head when I explained it to her, which was comforting in a silly way.

Anyway, it's been years since I've dipped my toes into the greater Alopecia Community, the ones with all the acronyms, but there are NAAF chapter groups that you can meet and hopefully find people to connect with. I think you need to join an email group though. Anyway. For the longest time the only people I knew with it was just my dad and a cousin who had it for 1 year and never again and seeing a group of people with patchy/full baldness in person for the first time made me cry.

To end on a good note, there have been trials for JAK inhibitors (a treatment for many autoimmune disorders) having really breakthrough success rates at hair regrowth, but I haven't looked into it lately. Seems very promising. A lot better than cortisone shots in the scalp I figure, maybe worth the pain lmao

EDIT: i misremembered it being lupus medication, but it was actually Janus kinase inhibitor trials with success.

[doctorodyssey]

okay cool hi lol let's be haters together <3

so my post earlier was abt 3x01 and specifically the pregnant woman gets attacked and has her baby stolen from her body call. it annoyed me on my first watch and then REALLY annoyed me on my second bc that is such a racialized form of violence mostly perpetuated by white women (or a couple) against black and/or indigenous women.

important context i am indigenous and 2s (usamerican specifically mohawk) which is why i feel like maybe i'm overreacting a bit but also fuck that lmao

and we know that sometimes the calls on 911 are inspired by real events right (the milky way call and also maddie telling that dv caller to pretend to order pizza come to mind)? and considering it is such a visceral crime i can't help but assume that they were inspired by one of the real life women that it's happened to. or any number of them. and they're mostly indigenous or black or other women of color!!

and like there's a reason bipoc are targeted for those types of crimes! so to tell a story like that and choose to victimize a white woman... idk leaves a bad taste in my mouth

and this is kinda an ongoing thing in 911 where they either completely avoid racial stuff while still using those stories or make the most milquetoast liberal statement that boils down to "racism bad". the whole michael and may and harry getting stopped and almost being brutalized thing comes to mind!

I know I shouldn't have high expectations for a copaganda show and I wouldn't even want them to touch the topic of racialized violence against bipoc bc they will fuck it up but also. I'm pissed bc violence against native women is PERVASIVE and also never fucking acknowledged by society at large.

Idk I'm salty about it and no one probably even noticed bc it's a small moment overall and maybe I'm being sensitive but also I feel like I deserve to be sensitive about this kind of thing. all I could think of while watching were those indigenous women who probably inspired that call and it sucks

anyway thoughts? LMAO

second part:

oh also to add on to the essay i dropped in your inbox yesterday i don't think the writers were in any way being malicious or bad writers or anything like that. they didn't anything wrong per se, it just made me uncomfortable to watch bc of my perspective as an ndn so i'm being a hater abt it to feel better lol obviously i still love the show

thank you so much for these thoughts!! i've never considered this but i think it makes total sense. you're 100% right that they base calls on real life stories, like a LOT of the calls. (random but i think it's cute that in the blackout episode, the call maddie takes from someone seeing the milky way in the sky is based on real calls from the LA blackouts in the 90s)

i actually just went and rewatched the scenes from 3x01 with the kidnapped mother & stolen baby. you are absolutely not wrong to be frustrated/uncomfortable w this portrayal. they really did it in the most viscerally disturbing way too, with the kidnapper literally removing the baby from the mother herself...definitely trying to play up the sensation in a situation where they could have addressed a deeper issue. instead they just did like "haha this crazy lady is so mentally ill and insane! let's use it as an opportunity for everyone to reflect!" (which, side note - this show does not handle certain mental health issues well either, despite being all pro-therapy for the characters when they're going through stuff....). and then they just used it as a way for chim & maddie to reflect on their own want for kids (and set up the possibility of maddie getting pregnant). the story did not need to be set up that way. like it was all for shock value...but marginalized/vulnerable people's babies being stolen is a real thing that happens (both by individuals and by the state/CPS/etc).

a better way for them to address this would be like, they have a sinister CPS worker who goes rogue and uses their power to take kids away from parents when it's not needed - this would be more interesting/hard-hitting IMO bc it puts the focus more on state-sponsored violence instead of individual harm committed by 1 person, but we do still have one person who is the villain (probably a "sweet" middle-aged white lady).

that said i also completely agree that they would...not do a good job if they tried to address racialized violence against Indigenous women. i feel like we would get one offhand comment about MMIW and maybe like a 10-second black screen at the end with a hotline you can call or something. i'm just thinking about how horrifically anti-Black the Mara/abused dog comparison storyline was...the writers on this show need to be punished tbfh

and also, i totally get you - the writers aren't being malicious, but they CLEEEEEEEAAARLY have blind spots and it shows.

[pickalilywrites]

Zeke is secretly a fan of No Name would be an interesting fic to read lol

thanks! hope you like it :)

for a friend

eren jaeger. zeke jaeger. high school au. 2562 words. read on ao3.

Despite being the younger half-brother of one of the smartest people in the world, Eren Jaeger has never been the best student. In fact, some might consider him to be borderline abysmal. Eren’s aware that traits like being studious and reading comprehension skills are not necessarily inherited, but it’s almost insulting that Zeke is on the track to being valedictorian just like their father was and Eren is always half a point away from getting a C- on his exams. It’s as if their father had poured all his impressive academic prowess into Zeke and left Eren with nothing. Even borrowing Zeke’s old notebooks and hoping he absorbs some of Zeke’s skill by osmosis doesn’t seem to help Eren. 

“Zeke, can I borrow your copy of King Lear?” Eren asks, already inside of Zeke’s room. He doesn’t hear an answer but he wasn’t expecting one anyway. He had heard Zeke enter the bathroom earlier and the sound of the shower running followed soon after. There really wasn’t any reason for Eren to put off asking Zeke to borrow an old (hopefully note-riddled) copy of a Shakespeare play since Zeke tends not to mind either way, but Eren has a habit of doing things too late especially if they’re trivial such as asking for a book.  

Eren bounds across Zeke’s pristine room and towards the smaller bookshelf holding Zeke’s literature books. Eren’s older brother has an interesting way of arranging his books. It’s not enough for him to simply file them away in alphabetical order by last name. No, he has to have them divided into categories: biographies and autobiographies, science fiction and fantasy, historical fiction, classic literature, reference books, etc. Even those might have subcategories and only after each category and their subcategories have been separated properly are the books arranged accordingly by last name of the author and then title (with the exception being series or reference books).  

Eren sits down on the floor to get a better look at the penultimate shelf where the classic literature books are. His eyes scan the spine of these well-worn books, no doubt read lovingly by Zeke. He’s the type of person to do the assigned reading and actually enjoy the book. Eren would rather read the SparkNotes or watch a movie adaptation if possible, but he’s so far found that they’re not substantial equivalents to reading the book, at least not according to his essay grades.  

He sighs and runs his fingers across the top of the Shakespeare section. Antony and Cleopatra, Coriolanus, Hamlet, Julius Caesar. His finger finally falls on King Lear and he pulls it from the shelf. The spine is bent and the pages are thin and riddled with notes taken in Zeke’s neat handwriting. Perfect. If only the shear number of notes Zeke had taken weren’t so daunting, but it’s better than having nothing at all.  

Eren shuts the book down with a sigh and returns his gaze to the shelf. Zeke has undoubtedly read all the books on this shelf. From the looks of it, Zeke has Shakespeare’s entire body of work on the shelf. They’re only required to read Romeo and Juliet and King Lear in high school, but it seems Zeke has taken a liking to the famed British playwright and his works. Eren reaches out to take out the copy of Romeo and Juliet, curious as to what thoughts his brother might have scribbled in the margins. It’s then that he notices something strange about the bookshelf.  

Eren stoops down lower to get a closer look at the collection of Shakespeare. They’re all published by the same publishing house and are in the same collection, so their height and width are all the same. They should be sitting evenly on the shelf, but some stick out a little more than others. It’s not something Eren would normally notice, but in this case it’s impossible for him not to notice when Zeke is impeccable with his organization. Seeing the books sitting on the shelf unevenly should annoy Zeke to no end.  

Eren decides to be the sweet, younger brother that he always is and begins to press the books against the shelf so that they all sit evenly the way they should. He’s towards the end of the historical plays (where Shakespeare had apparently lovingly documented the life of many different Henrys) when he notices that he can’t push them as far as the other books. It’s like there’s something stopping it from moving any further.  

Intrigued, Eren pulls out one of the books — a copy of Henry VI Part 1 — to see what is preventing him from pushing the book back against the shelf. He sees a jewel case, but he can’t tell what group the CD belongs to or the name of the album. It’s strange to see an album hidden behind the books, both because it’s not sitting along the other CDs that Zeke owns and because Zeke doesn’t listen to anything except for classical music as far as Eren knows. He only sees an inch of the cover, but just based off the artwork it doesn’t seem like anything Zeke would listen to.  

Eren reaches in and plucks the CD out from behind the books and examines it, eyes widening as he realizes that he recognizes the cover because he has the exact same copy in his own bedroom. Even if Eren didn’t have the album in his room, he would have recognized it. It’s the debut album of the alternative rock group No Name, a group that had risen to prominence after the recent release of their third EP Requiem of the Dawn. That’s not the only reason why it would be recognizable for Eren, though. It’s also because the lead singer of No Name is Levi Ackerman.  

Levi Ackerman is a senior that attends the same high school as Eren and Zeke. Levi and his friends, Hanji and Mike, had started No Name in the garage of Mike’s house and hadn’t intended on skyrocketing to success. They had uploaded a few demos on SoundCloud and captured the attention of the alt rock scene, although you wouldn’t know it just by looking at them. Aside from the number of listens on their tracks climbing steadily upward every day and the shows and radio interviews they book occasionally, all the members of No Name seem relatively unaffected by their fame. Hanji makes a few jokes about it here and there, but otherwise remains as humble as ever as do the remaining bandmates. Levi in particular doesn’t seem interested in his newfound fame, choosing to keep to himself even when crowds of people flock towards him when he’s doing mundane things like walking to school or stopping by the convenience store to pick something up on the way home.  

For reasons Eren can’t comprehend, Zeke despises Levi. Eren has only encountered Levi a handful of times. He’s found that Levi isn’t very friendly, but he’s not an asshole either. He’s just kind of grumpy and not very conversational. He doesn’t run in the same circles as Zeke, who chooses to network with other top students like himself, so Eren doesn’t know what Levi has done to offend Zeke. From what Eren can tell, Levi doesn’t have any feelings, positive or negative, towards Zeke, but it doesn’t stop Zeke from glowering whenever he hears any mention of Levi’s name. 

The CD seems to be in mint condition. There aren’t any scratches or cracks in the jewel case, and the lyric book inside looks new when Eren opens the case to inspect it. He pops out the CD and inspects the back. It also looks new, hardly played if it was ever played at all, without any scratches in the back. There isn’t any chance that Zeke doesn’t know that Levi is the vocalist of No Name. Everyone knows that Levi’s the lead vocal. Eren wonders if Zeke is planning on taking the CD out to burn it later.  

“What are you doing?” a voice says, startling Eren into nearly dropping the CD. 

Eren had been so intrigued in his discovery that he hadn’t noticed the shower had stopped running earlier. He hastily jams the CD back into it’s case and closes the case. He turns back to face his brother, hiding the CD behind his back although he doesn’t know why. Zeke was the one hiding the CD in the first place for reasons that are still unknown to Eren.  

“Eren, why are you snooping through my stuff?” Zeke asks, stepping towards his brother. His hair is still damp from his shower, making his golden hair look almost brown. He’s squinting a little through his fogged up glasses as he tries to see what Eren has hidden behind his back. “If you’re going to borrow something, you can always ask me. You don’t have to go sneaking around.” 

“Oh, you know,” Eren says with a laugh that sounds false even to his ears. He slips around Zeke, keeping his back to his brother so that the CD remains hidden. He gives Zeke a bright smile to keep his brother off his trail. “Just borrowing your copy of King Lear for my English class. Your notes are always super useful, so I thought I’d take your copy instead of getting one from the school library. I asked you, but I think you didn’t hear me over the shower.”  

“King Lear?” Zeke repeats.  

“Yeah, and I got it, so I’ll be going now,” Eren says hastily. He’s almost got one foot out the door — so close to freedom! — and he’s about to bolt for it when Zeke asks a question that makes his blood freeze. 

“If you have my copy of King Lear, then why is it lying on the ground?” Zeke asks, and Eren follows his brother’s gaze to where the Shakespearean play is sitting on the floor beside the bookshelf where Eren had forgotten it. Zeke looks as if he’s about to pick it up when he turns back to Eren, his brow furrowed in confusion. “If my copy of King Lear is here, then what do you have behind your back?” 

“N-nothing,” Eren stammers even though there’s nothing sinister about an alt rock album. He still feels the need to hide it behind him, stumbling backward as his brother approaches him. He laughs nervously and before he can stop himself the confessions spills from his lips. “I was just looking through your Shakespeare collection and I noticed that they weren’t sitting on the shelf right, so I was going to fix it but then I found this CD and I thought it was weird because I didn’t know you listened to No Name.”  

Zeke stops, frozen in place. His lips are pursed together in a thin line and then his shoulders begin to relax as he says a bit too calmly, “It’s for a friend.”  

“Okay,” Eren says slowly. The CD comes out from hiding and he offers it out to Zeke, but he’s not sure why he feels Zeke’s explanation is hollow. “Why are you hiding it behind your bookshelf then?”  

“It’s a gift for a friend,” Zeke says. He snatches the No Name CD from Eren’s hands and glares at his younger brother. “I’m hiding it so they don’t see it if they come over. It’s supposed to be a surprise.” 

Something still doesn’t feel quite right. Eren can’t see Zeke buying a No Name album for a friend even if the friend was the biggest No Name fan in the world. Zeke hates Levi Ackerman too much and wouldn’t want to support him in any way even if it was buying an album for a friend. He could have found another suitable gift. Also... 

“The shrink wrap was already torn off,” Eren points out. “Why would you gift your friend an opened album?”  

Maybe there is an explanation for it, one that doesn’t involve Zeke’s secret affinity for No Name, but Eren doesn’t think there is one based on the way the tips of Zeke’s ears redden and how he’s spluttering to find a plausible defense.  

“If I look behind your other books, are there going to be more No Name albums behind them?” Eren asks as a mischievous grin grows on his face.  

“... No,” Zeke says, but he paused too long and Eren dives towards the shelf.  

Eren ignores his brother’s shouts and pulls the books from the shelves haphazardly, looking for more No Name albums hidden behind them. Zeke attempts to pull him away, but Eren shoves him aside and continues to dig around the shelves, letting the books drop to the floor. Zeke can always organize them later anyway. 

“Do you have all the albums?” Eren says giddily, pulling another album from the shelf. It’s the second EP from No Name, Dedicate Your Heart!. He looks over at Zeke who looks absolutely mortified. “You know you could have just bought their music digitally if you wanted to keep it a secret that you like their music.”  

“It’s for a friend,” Zeke snaps even though he doesn’t have to keep the lie up now that he’s been completely exposed. He snatches the EP from Eren’s hands and glares at his younger brother. “And besides, physical albums are more meaningful than digital albums.” 

“Alright, alright,” Eren snickers. Zeke does seem to be the type to prefer physical copies over digital ones. He doesn’t think Zeke’s ever read an eBook in his life even though it would allow him to have a plethora of literature at his fingertips. Curious, Eren steps towards Zeke’s dresser. He wonders what else his brother is hiding from him. “Do you have any other No Name stuff hidden somewhere?”  

“Don’t you fucking dare go through any more of my things,” Zeke says, pointing a warning finger at his brother. He sighs and sets the album carefully down on his desk before picking up all the books Eren had tossed carelessly on the ground. “And do not tell anyone about this.” 

“I don’t see what the harm is in telling people. No Name is getting really popular,” Eren says, but he quickly shuts up when Zeke shoots him another glare. He leans back against the dresser and watches as his brother continues to pick up the mess he’s made. Eren does think it’s fun to have something to hold over his older brother, but he thinks it’s even better knowing something about his brother that nobody else knows. It makes him feel closer to Zeke in a way. “You know, I can probably get you a signed copy of these albums if you want.” 

“Really?” Zeke asks, his head snapping towards Eren. Realizing that he’s too excited for something he had claimed to have no interest in, Zeke clears his throat and says, “Oh, well. That would be nice. For my friend, I mean.”  

“Of course, for your friend,” Eren says with a grin. Even if he’s not exactly friends with Levi, he’s friendly enough with Hanji and Mike to ask their whole band to sign a few albums. He has a feeling Zeke will appreciate it more than he lets on. “And who should I tell them to write out their message to?”  

“Just … a friend, ” Zeke says weakly. 

“A friend named Zeke?”  

Zeke scowls.  

[judaismandsuch]

A Brilliant Biblical Commentary that I can't Believe

Now, as many of you may know Humanity/ Man is Created twice in Breishit (Genisis) the First time in Breishit 1:27: "And G-d created man in His image....male and female He Created them."

The Second time in Breishit 2:7, and finished in 2:22: "...[G-d] formed man from the dust of the earth.....and Man became a living being." "[HaShem] fashioned the rib He took from man into a woman." (obv a bunch of stuff happens between verse 7 and 22).

Now important notes: 1)There is a lot of established commentary on all of this, but that means there is too much to succinctly summaries other views, so if you are curious about the established interpretations for all this look it up yourself. 2) All the garden of Eden stuff is a cohesive story in chapter 2-3, not mentioned at all in relation to the first creation.

Anyways there is a lot of explanation and reconciiation of these verses, as it is troubling the HaShem would describe the creation of humanity twice, and the stories be very different. There are answers, brilliant ones, bad ones, etc. But I believe I am the first to have this response.

So... it is indeed troubling, until you look a few chapters later, specifically chapter 6.

Now between chapter 2 and 6 a bunch of stuff happens: The garden of Eden, Cain and Abel. Cain taking a wife. The First city builder, the first smiths, the first tent dwellers (more accuaretly the specific ancestor of those, but w/e). The descendents of Cain and Seth, the subtle decrease in life span, etc.

Now aside from the general "Wow this is bullshit, it human civilization didn't progress in that manner." or "Humanity never had a lifespan that long!" Bad faith arguments, you run into an issue.

Who the fuck are they marrying? Hell, it's implied that there are other humans around when Cain kills Abel, where did those guys come from?

Again, loads of commentary but here we are going to my tying all this together:

Chapter 6: The Children of G-d and the Nephilim. 6:2: "The children of G-d saw how beautiful the daughters of Man (or humanity) were, and took wives from among those that pleased them." 6:4:"It was then that the Nephilim (lit. the fallen) appeared on earth when the children of G-d cohabited with the daughters of Man who bore them offspring, they were the Heroes of Old, Men of Great renown."

Now, this has it's own issues, mainly: What the fuck? Who are the children of G-d? Who are the fallen (Nephilim)? And who the hell are the Heroes of Old?

Again, loads of answers for all that already. (BTW, in Numbers/Bamidbar 13:33 Nephilim are mentioned again. by the spies, who use the word to mean 'giant', since that is a quotation of a human speaking, whereas this is not, I can safely ignore "Nephilim means giant" in my exegesis).

Now my commentary (though clever you, you may have already put it together!)

We already have fallen children of G-d mentioned: Adam and Eve. Them getting kicked out of the Garden of Eden can definitely be considered 'Falling'.

And if we consider that there were two separate 'Humans' those in the Garden (Adam and Eve), and those outside from chapter one, we get the answer to who Cain and Seth are marrying.

And then, from Adam's line we get a list of Great Humans: The City Builder, The Smith, The Musician. They could definitely be considered the heroes of old.

Are there issues with this explanation? A couple, none (scripturally) too challenging. Is this explanation original? As far as I know: Yes. But that may just mean my research is garbage.

But the biggest problem with this explanation?

It DEMANDS a fully literal acceptance of that portion of Breishit. If HaShem intended for it to be metaphorical, or a pat explanation b/c creation wasn't important, why would there be an interlock of the two stories?

There wouldn't be.

And I am NOT a (full) biblical literalist. (I do believe that one has to be within a small margin of error a biblical literalist from Avraham to the end of the Torah for Judaism to have validity).

So I have this beautiful, pat, explanation that I can't believe.

Terribly Annoying.

[ofyorkshire]

apropos to really nothing at all, i've decided to add this in fewer words to my guidelines:

please note that bj is not meant to be a reflection of sex work or a perpetuation of stigmas around sex work (ie - sex workers being inherently unhappy or traumatized, as if there aren't sex workers who have a safe, happy, and healthy relationship with their occupation). i don't personally think bj can really be considered a typical, "proper" sex worker when the decision to become one wasn't his own. he's a victim first and foremost and describing him as a "sex worker" is… technically true, but it's a simplification and a shallow understanding of the point of his character. i've said before, bj was created as a vehicle for peace to critique aspects of society. particularly society's tendency as a whole to sweep vulnerable, marginalized people under the rug. in bj's case, he's a young, gay, possibly genderfluid, homeless, orphaned, etc. etc. catchall symbol of people that tend to be ignored or mistreated by the majority, especially in the 1970s-'80s. not saying it's done well in canon, but there is narrative purpose for his misery and it's not "sex workers are fundamentally miserable".

i've just been thinking about how media tends to portray sex workers in a negative, inherently tragic light, andddd, i dunno, i just don't want to accidentally give the impression that the way bj and his relationship with his occupation is like... "standard", i guess. sex work is like any other job, and popular entertainment regularly portraying it in a negative way, i think, isn't very true or kind. i doubt many people are looking to fiction, especially on a tumblr rp blog, for cold, hard, true facts about the world around them, but lol i figured this clarification would be nice anyways. plus, it sorta clears up some important things about my portrayal and how i view/interpret bj's character.

[tessa-quayle]

I just wanted to say I love the positivity around the discussion of age gap fics and fics that don’t have age gaps because both sides have a mutual respect for one another and I think for me personally it all comes down to a preference on what I like (which is what makes fan-fiction so unique because there’s something out there for everyone) and I’m learning more about my own writing and how I am naturally trying to write more non age gap fics not because I don’t like them but just cause I want to make sure all of my readers feel included.

I think positive discussions such as this are so enriched and healthy for the fandom and I hope more of these can take place!

Anyway, enough of my rambling! I hope you have a wonderful rest of your Sunday honey bun 🩷

-Gi

Hello Gi!

Thanks for your lovely message - I am on the periphery of the fandom so I am glad to hear the discussion has been mostly positive and not too contentious.

But I also want to note that disagreement and discomfort are ok? We have our preferences with regard to what we want to consume or create, it’s human.

I see variations of these fandom (not unique to Pedro characters) tensions play out many times in other spheres, and what I hope for is that when people are confronted with reasons why some might find their work problematic (whether we’re debating canon compliant or divergent characterization, issues with age gap, or how some fics may have a colonizer gaze on Javi P, use of Spanish language, etc) or when -isms or issues with representation and inclusivity are pointed out, maybe we just sit with that discomfort (if the criticism is delivered respectfully, constructively) and just consider why it provokes that reaction even if we end up all doing our own thing and/or disagreeing.

(I mean - I write an OFC, everyone clowns on OFCs, I’m basking in my unpopularity knowing I am not entitled to an audience 🤣).

Disagreement or different preferences don’t mean hate, policing, banning, etc. from the beginning I’ve been a broken record framing these resources and fic rec lists as a “yes and” issue, you do you, this is not a zero sum game, let’s resist the scarcity mindset.

To put it in crass economic terms, it’s supply and demand. There’s a demand for a diverse array of fics, and there will be a supply that will attempt to meet it. Not everyone’s gonna buy what you’re selling (you being the collective you, not you personally 😜), and if you’re confident in your product and especially if you enjoy a healthy popularity (think profit) margin, and something else comes on the market? Keep doing you. It shouldn’t be a threat. Cause are we building community or wanting a monopoly?

Sorry for my rambling answer. Thanks for the ask and keep writing all your wonderful stories xo

- D

[breithenua]

Note: this post is very much inspired by a brilliant character analysis of Senju Tobirama by Sage's Rain on YT.

Gonna keep this short but I think that part of the reason some people still defend Tobirama's treatment of the Uchiha is that they don't realize the difference between outright bigotry and hatred for the sake of it, and less outright variants of bigotry one justifies to oneself by saying to themselves "It's better for our society as a whole if x group is excluded/shunned/oppressed/kept from gaining too much power/etc". Most people think they're in the right, and believe they're doing what's best. A lot of people are either unwilling or incapable of considering they might be wrong, too. They're incapable of or unwilling to see past their own emotions, biases and assumptions. Many reject the possibility of being wrong because it means a significant portion of their lives, beliefs and way of life is built on lies and self-deceit.

This applies to Tobirama. Tobirama was unfairly biased against the Uchiha. Was this more understandable in his case than a lot of examples of real-life bigotry? Yes, he watched many of his comrades, family members and other loved ones die at the hands of the Uchiha during the Warring States period. Some unresolved trauma and PTSD was probably part of the problem there. But regardless of the reasons, he was unfairly prejudiced against the Uchiha. He took his fear of Madara specifically and the fear of another man like him someday rising up to attack Konoha and lead an Uchiha rebellion, and applied it unfairly to the entire rest of the clan. Marginalizing them from the center of village power, treating them as separate from the rest of the village, making up his mind that the Uchiha were naturally predisposed to evil due to their power being directly linked to their emotions, and by extension, their hatred, etc.

Ironically, it was his own actions that led to the Uchiha planning a coup d'etat years later. This isn't a new thought, the aforementioned Sage's Rain channel made that same point. But that's besides my point.

Tobirama may have been acting out of what he believed was in the best interest of the village, but that doesn't mean he wasn't bigoted and prejudiced in his actions against them. That doesn't mean he wasn't wrong, or undeserving of the label of oppressor of the Uchiha. He is a racist when it comes to his treatment of the Uchiha, and his actions in that regard led to more harm than good, regardless of his intentions being to protect the village.

P.S. I will say though that however flawed Tobirama was and how bigoted towards the Uchiha he was, Danzo was *so much worse* about it. Danzo literally manipulated the circumstances of the village after the Ninetails attack to ostracize them even further, and then manipulated Itachi to massacre his entire clan, and then stole the Sharingan eyes of multiple dead Uchiha, desecrating their bodies. In fact I believe that was Danzo's intention from the very night of the Kyuubi's attack onwards. But that's a different conversation entirely. TL;DR Tobirama was problematic but fuck Danzo to death with a spiked mace. But anyway.

[bidokja]

re: orv is good but not great - i agree w most of the major beats of the post but i dont think you can say one way or another whether orvs writing style and vocab etc. are intricate or poetic when reading an english fan-translation. to be clear im not arguing that its amazingly worded in korean, just that if youve only read the english version i dont know that its fair to draw conclusions on the quality of the prose when its been translated out of its original language by 2 different translators as a personal project. on a similar note, i wonder if orv is as long in comparison to other korean novels? i know translation can often make things end up longer or shorter than in their original language, especially in languages written in characters like korean or mandarin, although coming in at a million or so words im sure orv is still on the long end, i just wonder if its as insanely long comparatively in korean

that's entirely fair and a very important point that i neglected to fully consider. that is 100% on me and i thank you dearly for pointing it out.

i'm mostly going based off of the e-pub, and some second-hand accounts of people i know who HAVE read it in krn, so my assessment of that aspect is going to reflect that specific experience, which means i'm unable to directly comment on the Original "quality" of orv's writing. my commentary is only meant to reflect my experience, which is unfortunately not comprehensive of the original text.

i Would like to clarify that i don't think orv is Never intricate or poetic, that's definitely Not the point i was making and i hope it didn't come across that way. it definitely has some extremely beautifully written passages in it. i also think it's important for me to say i'm of the belief that it is actually fairly important for written mediums to NOT be poetic and intricate the Entire Time (or even the majority of the time, in some cases) especially if theyre longer. it's important - for pacing and variety and all that jazz - that you have some less intensive writing in between the more intensive bits, in order to highlight said intensive bits. and i think orv does that well, even in the translations.

anyways! additions and clarifications aside, those are by No means meant to be an excuse, tbc. as i said, it's on me for not fully considering and addressing the whole "i can only ever speak from the angle of the translations, Not the original language, which is definitely conveyed in a more clear and intricate way than a translation can hope to achieve" thing. and again, thank you for pointing that out to me! i appreciate it.

as for the second part of your ask, i think orv is prrrobably a lil shorter in krn? but like, marginally so, as far as Word Count is concerned. (not character count, since krn is Definitely more compact in that department)

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

for the ask post, 7, 8, and 17

for number 19: my favorite work is probably NHTHCTH, i absolutely adore it! especially the fairy tale parts and the way you wrote Jon and Geryy's relationship, it's amazingly heartbreaking



7. What’s a troupe you love to write?

I answered that here, but i think another trope that I really would love to write when I have time is Time Loop AUs.

I have one plotted for TMA that I really loved, and Bojack Horseman. I feel like there's a lot of room for artsy mindbendy stylistic decisions and tragedy in time loops.

8. What kind of document do you use to you write? Microsoft Word? Google Docs? Straight in the AO3 text box?

Google docs. it feels more secure for me. i've had word files that end up horribly corrupted in a crash and lost forever, but google docs is autosaving for me every few seconds.

there's like. a shit ton of fun fonts in my google docs that never see the light of day--mostly for nhthcth. I change fonts for some of the stranger stuff, like the theatre script, the delivery notes, etc. one day i'll figure out html in AO3 and figure out how to change the fonts there too. right now, there's only one person who gets to see the fonts on the original google doc. she knows who she is.

17. Are there any writers and/of stories that you consider an influence?

I answered that here, but I'd probably add to that list the poetry of César Vallejo and the works of Carmen Martín Gaite.

I was like. obsessed with Vallejo for a while. I don't really write poetry, so his influence on my life, writing style has been minimal compared to like, Vonnegut, but I think his way of discussing human suffering like, moved into my head without bothering to sign a lease. probably my favorite of his was "Piedra negra sobre una piedra blanca".

He has this really famous compilation of poems called Trilce which like, admittedly, not my favorites of his work. I have no idea why, it's objectively his most famous work and rightly so, I just got weirdly fixated on some of his other stuff. anyway, he had this convention in it which i really liked, which was to title each of his poems with numbers. like, it wouldn't have a title, it'd just be "Poema XVI", and so on and so forth. Most of the versions that I've seen have roman numerals for it, but for some reason i'm convinced that the copy i originally read this in had just the arabic numericals at the upper lefthand corner of each page--just like, a hard "16." and that was it. I've lost the copy since, so I can't verify it. for some reason, i loved the vibe of that. Like, I can't really put my finger on it, but for some reason the act of numbering poems instead of giving them titles felt visceral to me.

there was this other book I read called Hocus Pocus by Kurt Vonnegut where the premise is the story is being told on margins of scraps of paper in a prison library, and the line break would come where the "paper" would run out, and that resulted in this really cool, fragmented, stylistic effect that also lived in my head rent free afterwards.

porcelain chips' weird structure was sort of a sloppy attempt to kind of chase the way that those structures in Trilce and Hocus Pocus made me feel. I'd seen something similar done in other fanfictions--there's this one daredevil fanfiction that uses an out of order numbering system whose name I cannot remember for the life of me, but it was really good, and a spiderman fanfiction that had used a similar structure to great effect. for some reason it just feels cool to me.

I dunno, sometimes you don't really know why a stylistic convention works, but you know it's a gut punch. i highly recommend looting every single work you love until you come up with something you like.

El cuarto de atrás by Carmen Martín Gaite was the book that kind of made me like, get metafiction as a literary device and understand how powerfully it can be used. I also, like. Named my animal crossing island after bergai. so i guess it influenced me there.

i think the post-Franco period had some really cool experimentalism, especially with female authors like Carmen Martín Gaite which I really recommend checking out. My favorite authors tend to be like, the weird experimentalist ones? Spain and Latin America both had really cool funky experimentalist phases. Probably check out works made during El Boom too if you're interested in that kind of thing.

[awakenedmaiden]

Slides up. Today I'm going to tell you all about the Science;Adventure franchise because I consider them to be quite high quality VNs (I personally put 'em above Higurashi and Umineko but I know that can be a bit contentious) that don't get too much attention.

They are a series of VNs set in a vaguely shared universe (but with little as far as crossover goes) developed by Nitroplus and produced by Spike Chunsoft (The folks that brought us Zero Time Dilema, the Dangan Ronpas, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, AI the Somnium Files, etc).

You've probably already heard of the franchise even if you don't realize it, as the critically acclaimed anime Steins;Gate is an adaption of the second Science;Adventure game (also called Steins;Gate).

Each of the three main lines in the Science;Adventure franchise deal with certain scifi concepts Psychic abilities (Chaos;Head//Child), Time Travel (Steins;Gate), mecha (Robotic;Notes) in what I would describe as fairy fun and introspective ways.

Each story follows a group of nerds, ones you'd probably describe as chunibyou or Otaku, that find themselves thrust way too far over their head into shit that they thought would be cool but that they never should have meddled with.

Each has both light hearted fun moments and dark really impactful sequences. Though as a forewarning the Chaos;Head/Child franchise is notably the darkest and most cynical by a wide margin while Robotic;Notes is the most idealistic. All, however, will have sequences that really feel like heavy emotional gut punches when you get to them.

Yet they also offer the opportunity to immerse yourself into this world of nerd culture. With a handy guide to accompany you that explains most of the nerd shit. For example, the cast is undoutebly going to break out references to classic Gundam or the first parts of Jojo but whenever someone pulls out a weird statement like shouting "BREAST FIRE!" you'll be given a handy little reference note explaining that it's an iconic and memey battle cry from Mazinger Z.

Reading through Steins;Gate back in high school was where I first learned of iconic Tokyo locales like Akihabara (Though the areas of Tokyo are something I only really came to know after the SMT franchise).

But anyways. Playing through the Science;Adventure games you'll be given some serious questions to ask yourself that can prompt ya to think about potential technology in a more philosophical way. Often really well written (but also initially annoying) characters with fun dynamics. And some really great stories.

So I highly recommend checking them out if you've got the time and money for it.