#anyway comics pete i love you bitch

[maroonmused]

spider-man/deadpool #8

[ewzzy]

Alright so I got a bunch of notes on a panel of Gwen and MJ. Me being me I gotta go back through the Masterworks collections and see what their relationship actually was from ASM #25 when MJ debuts to Gwen's death in ASM #121.

Here's their first meeting. Romita is drawing, but Ditko's queen bitch characterization of Gwen is still there.

It doesn't take long for Romita to change up Gwen. Also note MJ saying "Have a happy!" because her main character trait is phrasing that you just have to assume were normal at the time.

Now that we've established the girls it's time to put them in direct competition. Can you tell Romita drew romance comics before he took over Spider-Man?

But hey it's not all competition! Next time we see them they're hanging out without Pete at all!

They're surprisingly friendly at this point.

Gwen starts dating Pete more consistently, but MJ points out "I only loaned him to you, lady!"

MJ's habit of sniping at Gwen starts to kick in.

Even when Pete goes missing...

When MJ get's a job as a go-go dancer she's still thinking about Pete even if Gwen doesn't seem worried.

The timeline here gets a little funky because this story got published in magazine format first and then shoved later into ASM Annual 9. MJ and Gwen act like they're meeting each other for the first time.

Then afterward all walk off into the sunset (and fodder for those of you shipping a trio)

Then there's a whole lot of nothing where Gwen & MJ never interact outside of 2 panels in Marvel Super-Heroes #14 drawn by future ASM regular Ross Andru. Chances are this was drawn way earlier because Gwen is based on her design from Ditko's era.

So the reason for the lack of MJ was she went with her aunt to Florida. Now that they're back it's time for sparks to fly.

And fly they do! Though maybe that's more Flash Thompson's fault.

But don't worry we're shipping him off to 'Nam with some kisses.

Next up is what started all this for me with those notes at the top. Pete loses his powers because of a flu, confesses his secret identity and has to walk the whole thing back. This scares Gwen something fierce and MJ spends the whole time tossing out one-liners.

As I said in the old post, this is all hilarious with the retcon that MJ always knew Pete was Spider-Man. After that we go more than a year without MJ and Gwen on panel together, including the death of Gwen's father. It really looks like MJ is a non-factor at this point. Gil Kane takes over art duties and has a big reunion when Harry gets out of the hospital and Flash is back from war.

Then the next time we see them is a hundred pages worth of comics later in ASM #116 and that's a redo of the magazine again so the relationships get reset by about 50 issues.

See? Isn't that exactly like the magazine / Annual 9 from above?

Anyway, they spend that issue campaigning for for a mayoral candidate and getting along great. Gwen has a big kiss with Pete and MJ is super supportive even if her Harry is annoyed.

And whoops we're running out of time because we're racing toward Gwen's untimely demise. We get one final bit with Gwen and MJ on panel together worried about Harry's relapse right before the Green Goblin gets to work.

And that's that! Every on panel interaction of Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane Watson in one tumblr post. Looking back, they're put in competition by Lee and then Conway writing it, but Gwen is so clearly who they've picked that MJ falls to the wayside.

What do you see in their interactions? I'd love to hear what others think about their relationship.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Reviews: The Town Where Everyone Was Nice! or Scrooge Is the Lindburgh Baby

Saludos Amigos! The Ride of the Three Cablleros has at long last come to the last stop before it’s final phase. It’s been a hell of a ride so far: Our boys have tried to woo some ladies, performed some black magic, had some sort of drug trip, dealt with Donald’s ego, helped goofy ungoofy himself...

“SEASONS CHANGE, TIMES CHANGE BUT UNGOOFY IS FOREVER AND ALWAYS HE IS ALWAYS THERE” ... I created this magificent stalion.. kinda I think he came out of a styigan hole in the universe from the darkest dark in the dark of the dark... I can’t be sure. Our heroes fought an arrogant prince, found a lost city and helped donald get his smile back. All culminating in our heroes going to Spain for some reason, soundtracking Goofy’s win against Horace in Flamico Dancing, somehow that wasn’t a Covid induced fever dream I had but the actual premise of the episode, and then played some soccer with Daisy’s cousin and Pancho Pete. All in all we’ve had some good times getting here and I feel acomplished having made it this far. While I’ve still got quite a ways to go, getting this far means I really made something.. and not just the 80 something dollars it took to comission all of this. And I genuinely just want to thank all of you for reading these as these have easily been some of my most popular reviews and @weirdkev27​ for comissioning all of this. It’s been easily one of my faviorite projects so far and I look forward to the final leg of it soon. For now though we have one last adventure before the biggest one starts.  But before we can dive into it you probably have a few questions, and since I don’t really need to give Ducktales 2017 a lavish introduction as unlike most stuff so far this show is well and familiar: it’s what got me started reviewing animation on this blog, it’s what got me into the duck community as a full member, and it’s what caught Kev’s attention leading to this entire series. So I have time to answer the questions your probably asking and if your not.. well here’s the answers anyway Wait aren’t you going to cover Louie’s Eleven?: Nope. While I love that episode, I already did a full review of it earlier this year.  I saw no reason to completely and utterly redo the entire thing when my opinions toward the episode haven’t really changed. That being said since I didn’t touch on the boys characterizations in that one too much and since I do want this retrospective to be comprehensive, I will talk about Panchito And Jose’s characterization there briefly during this review at the right time as a compromise. 

Wait why isn’t THIS the last stop since it came out AFTER Legend of the Three Cablleros: Simple.. it felt unsatsfying to both me and kev to end on this one. While their apperance here IS a good one and a big deal... it’s also ANOTHER guest apperance. It’s something I didn’t quite realize for now but outside of the movie.. every apperance after is them guest starring in another series. Their aperances in Don Rosa’s Duck Comics, while awesome and treating them with proper respect, were still them showing up to shake up Donald’s stories and formulas. They were LITERAL guest stars in House of Mouse, and Roadster Racers was entirely just “let’s shove them in there because we can”. Legend.. is their story. Their moment in the sun after too damn long with all three as main characters and while being a lead is normal for donald, Jose and Panchito really HAVEN’T had that shot outside of their home countries. To be the hero of their own fully realized epic adventure. So it just fits best to have the road lead there instead of have all that happen.. then go back to yet another guest appearance. The other major factor.. is that while Legend came out around the same time as ducktales, to the point many compared and contrast both shows treatment of Donald, this episode is what most non-latin american audiences saw first as it took Disney WAY too damn long to air the series over here.. i.e. until Disney Plus launched, finding it somewhere online was the only option despite the series being produced in america with some really big american names voice acting wise. Point is this came first to some people, so i’m using that as a flimsy excuse to put it ahead so we get a better finale. 

Now all that’s settled, let’s dive into “The Town Where Everyone Was Nice!” and see what one of the best duck propeties period makes of our boys. 

We open in a remote town in Brazil. It’s the Festival of the Flower.. which is a bit off to me. While it DOES kind of make plot sense.. the problem is the lure was written to Panchito and Jose.. Jose whose a brazil native and could’ve possibly been supscious that a tourist invintation wasn’t in Brazilian Portugese, the countries national language and something I specifically researched just to see what it’d be called. For the record it’d be O Festival da Flor acording to google translate, which still sounds neat, Webby could’ve still said it means festival of the flower. It just feels like a missed opportunity from a creative team that’s taken such pains to make the series feel as authentic as possible and clearly put a lot of hard work and research into making each location feel like it’s real world counterpart.  But it’s a minor thing and we soon get our two plots for the episode: Our B Plot.. is that Dewey can’t stay the fuck off his phone and is taking pictures rather than actually getting experiences with Louie enabling him, while Webby gets increasingly frustrated at Dewey not actually botherting to experince this unique and obscure culture. We’ll get back to this in a bit. 

Our main plot naturally concerns the reason our heroes are here: Donald is reuniting with The Cabs, who in this continuity are his old College friends who Scrooge hates due to having to listen to them practice constnatly and tells the kids they’d hate it worse than his playing the bagpipes. 

Bagpipes are objectively the worst insterument on earth. They are loud, unharmonic and generally just obnoxious. I do respect how important they are to Scotland, home of David Tennant, Grant Morrision and .. Alan Cumming and James Macavoy? Wait what? that’s awesome! Point is Scotland is great but I do not like the bagpipes except when Bugs Bunnny is murdering them. Honestly Donald’s college band was probably more like this. Nothing bad at all just mildly pathetic and mildly pathetic is what got Donald a girlfriend, so it’s not a  bad look

That brings me to another point: Scrooge is pretty obnoxious in this episode. It seems like his sole reason for coming was to bitch about Donald’s old college band. He could’ve just sent them a stern letter like the pros at being a cranky old geezer do. 

I do GET why he’s here as there are some REALLY damn funny bits with him in the a-plot, it just feels like they could’ve justified it better. But on to better things as Jose and Panchito enter the scene after Scrooge claims they “weren’t so cool”.. with Panchito diving from a plane and drifting down on his umbrella

And Panchito shows up dramatically playing the guitar. A truly awesome and worthy intro to our boys. So let’s talk about them in this series. Honestly the two really aren’t that diffrent from usual, though Jose’s lady chasing is given to Panchito, his footloose world traveling lifestyle remains in tact as does his genuine charm while Panchito remains the peppy one, just with his outbursts gone as his guns are replaced with cell phones.. 

Yeah while I do get replacing the pistols because let’s face it the mexican of the group being a gun nut was pretty damn unfortunate, though Don Rosa toned it down and justifed it well, and frankly guns are a hard no for family shows these days unless their laser guns so replacing them I get. But instead of I dunno giving him knives or turning his holsters into pouches carrying his stuff.. he just has two Cell Phones. It’s weird. It dosen’t really make sense other than for him putting on a big shot act and even big stars probably don’t have two phones on them at all times. It’s just a VERY weird update that makes not a whole lot of logical sense and I belivie is thankfully gone by the next ep. The only real issue I have is the two just sorta blend together personality wise instead of being distinct like usual, but that’s also happened in other apperances, so it’s not exactly a new or unique problem, and the two’s voice actors do a great job making both feel like they should. 

Speaking of which let’s just go ahead and discuss that elephant in the room: The Cabs were recast for the first time in ages, which didn’t sit well with friends of legend as Eric Bauza, who’d replaced rob Paulsen, was himself replaced by Arturo Del Puerto and Bernado Del Paulo replaced Jamie Camil and Carlos Aquazi as Panchito. And I have mixed opinons on this one: Replacing Eric was a no brainer: while he’s a terrific voice actor.. he’s not brazilian and the crew of Ducktales 2017 perfer to cast actors who match their characters backgrounds, which again adds to the authenicty of it’s globetrotting and scope. They don’t ALWAYS, Cree Summer isn’t, as far as I know, Egyptian and Catherine Tate, while wonderful, isn’t italian. But for the most part it adds a nice flavor to things and frankly I personally prefer it when Jose is voiced by an actual brazilian man. So that change i’m fine with. Not using Camil though... I do not get. Jamie Camil is a throughly talented voice actor, having done TONS of great work lately , vocing Globgor for star vs and not getting nearly enough screen time as the loveable demon dad, and stealing the show as Don Carnage earlier in the series. While that episode is one of the series weakest, he’s still easily the best part of it and I hope Carnage shows up one last time before the finale. 

So it really makes.. no sense to me to replace him. Not only is camil a bigger named actor, but he was already on the show and even the defense of “well they don’t want actors playing multiple rolls” ended up utterly destroyed by the end of the season, as Christ Dimatopolus not only reprised Storkules, but went on to play Drake and Melon, and picked up a FOURTH role in season 3 as Hades. My point is the show has no real issue with doubling up on voice rolls, so I scratch my head as to why Camil wasn’t given this part too despite being the obvious choice. Del Paulo isn’t a bad actor and is great in the role.. I just scratch my head why he was needed when a perfect actor for the part was right there and already had experince with the character. 

I do think Puerto and Paulo are terrific and do the characters justice, issues with Paulo being there at all aside, and they do a great job and more than earned the roles and I don’t think the mass critcisim of this version of the characters is entirely warranted.. for this episode. This episode while they can meld into each other... that happens in most of their apperances anyway, so it’s not unusual or unique to this series. I will say however that the way their written in their next apperance is utter garbage: they aren’t really given any chances to be distinct, are basically written as one person even worse .. and that one person is a greedy asshole who takes advantage of their friend and never apologizes. I do get why people did not like them in that episode. I do think it has no baring on this one and people should stop bashing these versions as a whole for one terrible episode, especially when Louie has been written pretty badly for the bulk of season 3, yet is still not a bad character. It’s unfair to paint the series as painting them soley as selfish jackasses when it didn’t at first and hopefully wont’ again when they presumibly show up for the finale’s big avengers endgame sequence I hope is coming. For now they aren’t bad and the colors are crisp and the animation nice and bouncy on our boys. 

Since we have two plots here, I’m just going to go ahead and split em since honestly, the b plot dosen’t really impact the a-plot until really the last minute and is basically happening right along side it and in concert with it. Sooooo... 

The Trite B-Plot: As you can probably gather I didn’t really like this one. It’s basically 5-7 minutes of me wanting to punch a child in the face. Or rather Webby wanting to have fun experinces and actually take in the culture while in town, while Dewey just wants to take pictures of everything, make it seem like he did stuff, and generally is obnoxious to webby while Louie supports him wholeheartdly. That last part is really one of the few good parts of the plot as it’s nice for one of the brothers plots to NOT be about them being in conflict or squabbling but just hanging out and having some fun, doubly so since i’ve had to spend a season watching Louie , outside of a few good exceptions be an absolute dick to Huey and also Dewey once. It’s nice to just see him and Dewey bond over a shared intrest: posting shit online and getting good photos. 

And it’s not without GOOD gags: Dewey’s obnoxious captions at one point while Webby continually looses her shit, Louie continually saying “that’s so wise” at Dewey’s bullshit philosphies, Webby’s continued annoyance is delivered great by Kate as always, and the best bit is Webby, utterly pissed at Dewey for refusing to eat Local Cuisine, wolfing down the entire fucking plate, all the dumplings in her mouth at once while Dewey, naturally, takes a picture. Otherwise this is just.. grating. It’s utterly grating to watch Webby GENUINELY try hard to absorb the local culture and really enjoy a once in a life time experince.. while Dewey jackasses about and basically acts like she’s wrong for it and treats his best friend like garbage. Just because i’ts nice it’s not Louie this time doesen’t make one of the kids being a dick without any nuance or character stuff suddenly great. It’s just tiresome. 

And SOMEHOW , despite already not liking it the first time watching the episode.. it’s even WORSE now afterlast years. No not because I watched it while having to put up with Coronoavirus induced Chills, but because another show did this plot 100 times better: Close Enough. One of the best new shows of the year, Close Enough had a plot where exes Bridget and Alex, aka yet aother great set of Kimiko Glenn and Jason Mantzokus characters, went on vacation together, but their attempts to have some ex sex fell flat due to longstanding issues we found about through this plot: Bridget has a bad habit of doing what Dewey did, focusing way more on her social than actually enjoying her vacatoin while Alex has a bad habit of befreinding random weirdos who agree with his worldview. Keep in mind this is the same worldview that spent an afternoon connecting garfield to jesus while pissing in a jug for some reason. Point instead of a character just being a smug dick, it ties into actual character flaws that helped us not only learn more about them but lead to a really heartwarming scene where the two admit they jsut can’t sleep together casually with allt heir baggage, and that they still have a lot to sort out. Before given the show their on having their friends show up from the a plot and all of them getting kidnapped by a robot because Josh skipped a bunch of ads and a 5 year old has to solve some issues and prove she’s not dumb to blow up said robot. What i’m saying is it’s even more insufferable watching this after seeing it done a thousand times better, and fucking watch Close Enough. Thankfully unlike Inifnity Train it’s not reliant on you to get a second season as it’s been renewed proving that even in a cluster fuck like 2020 miracles can happen, but it’d still be nice for it to get more fans during the presumably long wait for Season 2. Let’s move past this, i’ll get to the plot relevant bit for the climax when we get to the climax, and onto the reason your all here. 

The Main Event: A Life Not Wasted

Okay onto the actual plot. Rewinding quite a bit, the boys meet our boys, and we get some good bits. The boys cool new handshake leaves Huey wanting one only for Louie to simply lick his hand. See this is Louie dickery I can get behind because what did Huey expect? I do take comfort in the fact he has actual friends now who will likely do a handshake, fenton very much included. I’m sure Gyro didn’t want one either so he’s had plenty of time to workshop. We also find out one of the boys was dropped as an egg and well.. given Dewey opens and closes his eyes one at a time for this one moment, the ohter triplets just sorta.. silently agre it’s Dewey. IT does explain why he thought Champ Popular would get over..that and Santa Claus is Going to Highschool being his favorite movie. 

So both Jose and Panchito claim to be sucessful: Jose being a sucessful jetsetter and trendsetter, and Panchito being a world famous pop star, never stop stopping. So Donald being donald panics and runs into a alley where Scrooge and Huey join him.  Donald is fully convinced he’s wasted his life and has nothing to show for it. Huey rightfully points out he raised three wonderful children and isn’t that enough? Naturally given Donald clearly has some issues related to this subject and Scrooge has develoved into old man yells at cloud, he agrees it’s not important as money. So Huey decides to help his uncle because he’s the good son.. and because the two are easily the most alike out of Donald and his Kids. It’s something I haven’t really been able to bring up before so I was delighted to realize i could now: Besides the obvious people bring up constnatly, I.e. Huey having inhereted the most of the family rage out of his brothers, there’s the fact both are kind of obessive, both tend ot spiral into panic when a situation goes wrong, both are awkward with women, both are frequently ignored or taken for granted by those around them, and both are awkward adorable dorks who I will give my life to protect. It’s why I think Huey has the best relationship with his uncle of the bunch: He’s the only one who at least TRIES to empahtize with him and support him. While the other two do love him, and Webby of course likely has an insanne and horrifying shrine of him, and scrooge and probably della now in her closet.. and of course lena but that’s less out of hero worship and more out of her insane, over the top, very webby version of love. Point is, he’s the one who genuinely sees his uncle as a person who needs help and love. This was best demonstrated in the scene at the bank back in “Who Is Gizmoduck” as Huey tries to get his uncle a loan using the guidebook and is there soley to help the guy and taking time out of his day to visit the bank. Let’s face it though this is huey: he probably loves visiting the bank. They just got new pens! So Huey decides to put his improv badge to good use... so far the only use he’s gotten is Louie laughing at the fact he actually earned an improv badge and urges donald to simply ACT like he’s sucessful. Scrooge balks at this, because as Wonder Woman 1984 taught us nothing good comes from lies.. or from  banging your ghost boyfriend while he’s possessing someone’s body without said body’s consent and plan to fully live out the rest of your lives togehter without ever considering how fucked up this is. I will..deal with that movie ... soon. But he soon changes his turn and agrees to go along with it to avoid Jose getting upset and them having to pay for everything. 

So Huey suggest Donald keep the lie small, but belivable. Given the law of sitcoms when it comes to anyone saying that and the fact this is Donald, he instead panics and lies that he’s taken over McDuck industries and scrooge has gone full abe simpson in the other direction. 

Which is why i’m not enitrely annoyed by Scrooge’s presence: while they don’t even handwave him being here, Scrooge putting on an old man act, and sometimes getting back at donald for it is solid gold the whole damn time and some of David Tennat’s best comedic acting on the show, so it makes up for him being a grumpus.  And while i’m not usually not a fan of liar revealed plots, this one works for me.. mostly because it’s rooted in character. Here Donald is lying.. but because of deep seated neurosis he’s yet to fully tackle. While he loves his boys and is proud of htem every day... it’s very clear Donald hates his life and how it turned out. We got bits of this back in House of the Lucky Gander, with Donald’s first thought upon thinking he’s about to die is “I wasted my life” and feeling entirely like a looser. This episode brillinatly builds on that: it shows a Donald who simply feels.. he acomplished nothing. It’s easy to see why as his parents were happy and sucessful at whatever they did from the looks of it and how well taken care of the kids were, his uncle is the richest duck in the world and it’s greatest hero and explorer, his sister is the only one who could rival that record, and his cousin constnatly gets riches and fame handed to him. Donald.. by comparison.. is just a normal guy whose house is in his rich uncle’s pool, who has no job, no partner, and only really the love of his family. He spent his life on adventures he didn’t want to have living int he shadow of someone he grew to resent before the Spear of Selene incident blew things up for a decade. And then when he was free instead of becoming a big sucess... he blew the rest of it being overprotective of his boys and bouncing from dead end job to dead end job. It’s easy to see why he sees himself as a failure despite having lived a good life: compared to everyone else, even his sister who mooned herself, in his life.. he feelsd far behind. And as someone whose felt they were far behind countless times and only now is realizing they haven’t and it’s a marathoon ot a sprint I naturally relate. So his wanting to play big shot for just ONE day, to be the big hero like scrooge, teo be a sucess for five minutes with his best friends.. it’s understandable and relatable. 

So Donald continues the ruse, leading to a great bit where the cabs all try to avoid picking up the check “WE can’t all keep whistling nonchalantly” before Scrooge is forced to give Donald the money to in the best joke of the episode.. and I mean FORCED. He and donald get into a fight with their hands under the table and Huey eventually gets fed up with that and has to BITE his uncle’s hand just to get him to do what he shoudl’ve done ruse or no given he’s the richest person there. The reason I take special offense to this.. is that my fairly wealthy grandpa and grandma, my mom’s dad and his wife for the record, would buy us dinner EVERY TIME they were near town, a nice steak dinner with whatever we wanted to most of the time. They knew we couldn’t afford such luxury half the time and wanted to treat us and spend time with us. Since my grandpa’s passing, my Grandma and her New Husband have continued the tradition since then, if obviously not this year for damn obvious reasons, thought hey sent us a really nice dinner to cook for christmas in the same spirit. What i’m saying is when you know your relatives arne’t as stacked as you , you pay for the fucking meal especially since i’ts a special occasion, and even for someone as stingy as scrooge, it comes off as a dick move. 

We then get the best scene with the episode, just inching out the climax as the three simply talk, remince on old times, have a good rib like old friends would. It feels natural and wonderful to watch and gets even better when the three hear the radio and end up having an impromptu dance and musical number. Also Jose’s umbrella is also a flute somehow. 

Point is the boys have a good time and Donald gets carried away, with the boys planning a world tour. Huey, while happy to endulge his uncle in a badly needded ego boost, isn’t happy to endulge this and scrooge is unwilling ot pay, more resonably this time. Huey eventually talks him out of being a moron and tells him he has to tell the honest truth and while that dosen’t work this does. 

So as Donald goes to face the music, we have come to our climax. Phrasing. 

The Finale: Ay Carumba

So we come to our finale. Backing up a scene or too to the B-Plot, webby is interviewing a local about the festival when she gets stuck in a loop. So far in the episode we’ve had hints something is up with the people as they go all yellow eyed.. and webby finds out why as she notices the “person” she was interviewing is, in a hilarious and disturbing review.. a horrignly realistic hand puppet.. and upon stealing Louie’s phone, she points out there’s no shots of anyone’s feet.. and the reason why is that the giant flower the feast is about is a mean green mother from outer space and he’s bad. And Webby finding that out’s got him fighting mad.  Webby and the boys naturally run to warn the remaning boy and scrooge and they all run out only to get blocked out of town and captured. Dewey looses his phone inside the plant monster.

In a great joke, Scrooge ended up actually throwing his back out with the old man act, so our heroes are all captured and it’s up to our stars to save the day.  So while his family is in peril, Donald finally comes clean with Jose and Panchito naturally being upset.. for a second before Jose admits he lied to and an irate panchito.. is forced to admit he also lied. Jose is a flight attendant, hopefully he’ll get his own mini series where he accidently murders a dude on disney plus, which is a nice update of his globe trotting ways, as it’s a resonable way for someone with no money to get around the world these days and Panchito is a birthday party muscian. They all however chuckle over this realizing they haven’t come as far as they thought.. and they still have each other. It’s a nice way of modernizing Rosa’s jobs for them and their hard luck lives he set up and I love this. IJt’s just a sweet emotoinal scene that makes donald, and his friends, realize they aren’t faliures and life isn’t just about reaching some arbitrarity goal.. just like Soul taught me aka the actually great movie I watched on Christmas Day.  But since Donald’s family is in peril Jose suggests theys till play the gig.. just like they did ion acapulco thus we get the second best scene of the episode and another worthy rendition of The Three Caballeros as our heroes beat the shit out of the plant, free the kids and the plant straighens out scrooges back. 

It’s beautiful, psycadelic, and utterly awesome. Seroiusly the bright boldend colors are awesome and so’s this sequence. Easily one of the show’s best.. and it’s a show that contiains the greatest scene in television history

So that masterclass concludes with Donald signing.. badly.. and blowing the plant hte fuck up. Our heroes win and head off in the sunchaser. No idea what Launchpad is up to, probably has another ex in the area. Point is our heroes win, Dewey deletes his photos because “If there was no pics it didn’t happen” (So wise) and Donald decides to get the band back together, prompting scrooge to do an animal house on Panchito’s guitar... you.. you know you have to pay for that right? you aren’t a loveable frat man and he wasn’t ‘singing and I gave my love a cherry. Your obligated to get him a new guitar. You know that right?

So with that the episode wraps. This is a pretty good episode. While the subplot is bad and it should feel bad the main plot is emotional, well done and really adds more depth to Donald’s character while giving us a hell of a show with the cabs. The College Band background gives the boys a unique flavor this time around, not musically but in how they know each other and helps set it apart from the countless other reunions. It’s a truly bright, colorful and fun episode with some great gags and great performances. As I said Puerto and Paulo really knock it out of the park as the boys and while I would’ve preferred Jamie Camil, Paulo was still utterly excellent, though Puerto was the clear standout of the two. While their second apparence would be disapointing characterization wise, overall this was a fun introduction to two of disney’s best into it’s best universe and one of Season 2′s Standouts. 

Next Time on the Ride of the Three Cablleros: we begin our massive finale look at The Legend of the Three Cablleros. Donald gets dumped by a nightmare of a person and finds an inhertance, new friends, and some sort of hot adventure god in his new cabana. Good times. Until then goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. 

[humantorch]

Tell us about your au, give us an elevator pitch

Oh baby buckle up this is gonna get wild. WARNING: LONG POST

So in 616 we have the Spidey Five (Peter, MJ, Gwen, Harry, Flash). In the MCU we have a handful of iconic characters thrown in with random people from 616 with no hint of comic characterization. So I propose the upgraded Spidey Seven: Peter, MJ (Michelle), Ned, Betty, Flash, Brad Davis, and Cindy Moon.

Ignoring Peter completely, let me focus on Ned and Betty. Let’s be real, they ignored everything about 616 Ned and turned him into Ganke. All the love to Ganke, but that’s not what I want to see. Make him hard working, make him have more drive. Ned and Betty should both be reporters. It starts out with Betty just trying to get the scoop on Spider-Man and crime in the city. Ned originally just wants to keep her away from finding out Peter’s identity, but then they get caught up in the mess of the crime world and by the end of it they’re both bad bitches who use their reporting to take down criminals. Dare I say iconic.

Then we move on to MJ. Let’s see her slowly show more and more interest in theater and realize her dreams of becoming an actress can be real. She starts doing school plays and musicals. She sings to herself sometimes and does it around Peter once. He obviously asks about it, she’s like “oh I had some voice lessons as a kid” and tells him about wanting to be an actress. And obviously he supports her! Badabing badaboom.

Then we’ve got Flash and Brad. (jock4jock). Flash obviously has depth as a character that they refuse to mention. I want to see more into his family life. I want him to open up to Peter and Peter comforts him and they bond. Harsh teasing dials down to friendly teasing and boom Flash is one of the gang. Before all this happens I want Flash and Brad to become friends over their shared annoyance with Peter. But they become close for other reasons (again, jock4jock, Flash probably does track and cross country lmao). Flash’s love for Spidey rubs off on Brad, and Brad (being the smart guy he is) figures out Peter is Spider-Man really fast (MCU Pete is absolute shit at keeping secrets). And Brad would be a KING at making up valid cover stories for when Peter disappears. Another member of the gang is introduced!

Finally we bring in Cindy. She got her powers the same time Peter did but stayed on the down low and had like a sweatsuit type suit like Peter originally had. When she sees Spider-Man becoming a bigger hero she’s inspired and goes more out in the open. Her and Peter team up and Peter is like “yo, you want a sick new suit? I’ll let you think about it give me your number and text me your measurements and the color scheme and design you want”. But then when they exchange numbers they already have each other’s numbers saved under Peter and Cindy because the Decathalon team most likely have each other’s numbers saved in case someone goes missing or they need to contact each other. After that they become BFFs and hang out during school talking about spidery stuff. By extension she becomes friends with the others. And the Spidey Seven is complete!

What I love about this is that the seven can blend together and work so well. They all have different personalities but there’s all these similarities that make them fit together! Kelly called it a “terrible smoothie of teenage geekdom” and that’s really accurate. And of course they always support each other! They go to all of Flash’s cross country and track meets, Brad’s basketball games, MJ’s play/musical performances, etc. God I love my kids.

Anyway HUGE shoutout to @maydayparkers for helping me come up with all of this!! Kelly if you have anything to add go right ahead and do it! I tried to cover everything we talked about but if I might’ve missed some parts.

[sergeanttpoliteness]

idk if you’re taking requests or anything, if you aren’t ignore this, but if you are I would die for a classic, upside down spider-man kiss with the loml spider-noir. poor guy would probably be very surprised at first but suddenly its his favorite thing to do. thanks I love you and your work!!

AND➝ mayhaps…. a first kiss with noir? if u have time! 

sorry for answering so late nonnies! i feel so bad about that, i promise i wasn’t ignoring y’all. same goes to the few other requests i have in my inbox right now! 

——-

➹ inconvenient feelings➹ (spider-noir x reader)

word count: 2.5k

a/n: can you tell i had no idea what to call this lol. i didn’t edit either bc… oof. i’ve been struggling a lot with writer’s block (nothing new, honestly lmaoo) lately and someone close to me recently passed away and i haven’t quite… been able to wrap my head around it?? i don’t know, not to be a little bitch but this week consisted of a lot of school stuff, emotions, and anxiety so thanks @ the people who requested this bc i needed to write some wholesome stuff. also thx at my bestie for helping me out w ideas, ily broz. anyway, there’s some minimum ripeter x reader although it’s solely platonic! hope you all have a lovely week (:

taglist: @marvelousmorales

It’s not convenient. Convenient was that one person with the pretty smile whose eyes seemed to possess an affinity to him that one time at a jazz club, or the singer with the honey voice and smooth runs more soothing than the late night singing of a mother to her child. A poor goon who smooched his fist whilst it collided with his face could even fit the designation, really— but what mattered, the simple component they shared, was that all three were just a speck in a sea with no end; an eternal blue void with only more possibilities hiding in the pitch-black depths neither he nor the light’s fingertips could touch. They were safe. Uncomplicated.

Peter stared out the window, at a completely distinct world, far from a city in a vintage film: the ongoing the mechanical song of speeding cars, the newer and taller lit up buildings, the blinking golden lights, identical to a field of a thousand miniscule suns. This was not convenient. It’s… so different— like day and night, water and fire. This meant to swim out of the ocean he belonged to and reach for a foreign land, to run after a mere drop of water when a whole fucking body existed behind him. It’s not safe. It’s complicated.

Your sleepy eyes roamed the same page for the fifth time with no precise purpose, more disoriented than a newcomer in a large city until they traveled and spotted their true destination: Peter’s own sight deeply engulfed in the view outside, the twisting of his brows every now and then filling your mind with wonder and curiosity at what could possibly be running through that brain of his. You could’ve continued with the ogling like the damn creep you were (seriously, you gotta stop it with that, you told yourself), but you slipped and made a mistake— the most laughably absurd misstep— worse than trying to take a picture of a stranger and then, to your utmost terror, the flash going off— which wouldn’t have occurred in the first place if you’d paid your electricity bills on time. Your apartment wouldn’t have been plunged into darkness, and you wouldn’t have, without thinking, your head clearly not in its right place at the moment, slightly tilted your phone and directed your phone’s flashlight right at the side of his face. You quickly pulled the beam of light away, as if that would work; however, his gaze drifted to you. “Sorry.” You blurted out, acting casual and pretending to focus on the journal on your lap. “You were so quiet, I thought you had fallen asleep.” You lied.

“No, I’m awake.” He said, furrowing his brows to himself— of course you already knew that. You mumbled a small ‘good’, holding the notebook close to your face, like a child staring through the window of a pet shop at some puppies, shining the ‘smartphone’, he’d learned, over the pages. You bit your lip, your shoulders shaking with your surfacing laughter.

“Oh, man, this one’s so dumb.” You snickered before running your finger up the paper, clearing your throat. “October 8th, 1999. Today I came back from my camping trip with Peter, Ben, and May. We ate a lot of s'mores— Uncle Ben makes the best! We also told some scary ghost stories, and I even made Pete scream. It was awesome. You will not believe what happened!” You read the last sentence with a dramatic tone, similar to that of a terrible news headline from a sketchy website, making yourself more comfortable on the L shaped bench seat and leaning into Peter’s side.

Peter tensed at first, but slowly, he pushed himself to relax after you rested your head on his shoulder, a quiet voice in the back of his head speaking against his desires, echoing the terrifying thought that he could get used to this. “I don’t know, enlighten me: what happened?” He asked, amused. You lifted your finger, eyebrows raising gradually, building up the suspense. He waited, and waited, and waited, until, finally—

“I have to go eat dinner. I’ll tell you later.” You finished with an unhumorous voice and a poker face. Yet again, he awaited in silence, interested. Man, you took this suspense thing quite seriously— wait.

“And?”

“That’s it.”

“That’s it?!” He looked down at you and you nodded. “Oh, c'mon! You just gonna leave the reader hanging like that?”

You shrugged, wearing a shit-eating grin, loving his genuine disappointment as you flicked the page. “Sometimes that’s just the way it is.”

“Oh, what malarkey!” He laughed softly. You crinkled your nose— malarkey. What a dork.

You resumed scanning the barely discernible handwriting, the corner of your mouth tugging upwards. “Alright, this one does have an ending.” You sat up, rolling your shoulders back only to go back to your position of hunching over the journal. “April 3rd, 2000. I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so long, I forgot I had this journal. Something crazy happened.”

“The end.”

“Shut up.” You shushed him, shaking your head. “'I hung out with Peter today. We rode our bikes, had a race down the hill near my house, and I also got a butterfly to land on my finger. Man, I love insects!’ …and I still do.” You smiled and he glanced down at you, his mouth twitching. A peculiar glow in his chest grew, fueled him after he recognized that you felt comfortable enough to share this part of you with him; an insight on the stories that carved you into the person that you were today, the being that made every classy, pearly white grin and musical prodigy so boring, so undesirable.

You shuffled on your bum to turn and face Peter, continuing, “We came back home to play some more. We were sitting in front of the TV when, suddenly, he said my name, and like a normal person would, I looked at him…” You inclined forward, voice quieting, looking up at him.

“You won’t believe what happened.”

His eyes darted heavenward and he groaned. “Oh, lord.”

“He kissed me!” You cried out, with as much emotion that past you spilled onto the paper with the five exclamation marks and the three times you underlined the sentence. You slammed the notebook shut and let out a strangled clamor. “I still remember it very clearly. It was just a peck, but he fucking… smashed his mouth into mine, it hurt so much and my lip started bleeding and everything.” You giggled, abashed, rubbing your eyes.

Peter’s brows rose with surprise, pondering how an alternate seven-year-old version of him from another universe had more balls than him. He had to admit, though, the scene playing in his head was more entertaining than unfortunate. “And what’d you do?” He questioned, his mouth twitching.

“He was just curious and wanted to see what kissing someone was like, so we promised we wouldn’t talk about it ever again. He was so embarrassed, though, and felt so bad for making me bleed that he almost started crying.” You recalled, chuckling as you eyed the cursed diary one last time and placed it beside you. “What an idiot. I miss him.” You sighed, peering up at him, grinning. “What was your first kiss like, huh?”

It was comical, almost, the raging blush that trickled his face, the greyish tint screaming for the world’s attention. It was just a Peter Parker thing, you guessed: blushing like there was no tomorrow. “Uh, my first kiss?” You nodded. “Well… it happened when I was eighteen.”

You put the side of your head against the wall, eyes going round, your inquisitiveness close to that of a kid listening to a grandparent’s story. “Was it romantic?” You wanted to know everything: who the person was, the place, the context. Did he enjoy it? Did he make the move? And if so, then was there a chance that, maybe…

Unlike you, he did not have much interest in the subject; he stuttered, searching for a way to move on from the memory before he imploded. “I don’t, I don’t think anyone’s first kiss is romantic.”

You squinted at him, noticing his obvious attempt at dodging the question, but chose to spare him. Just for a few milliseconds, though. “Have you ever had… a perfect kiss?” You said, unsure of how to word such a silly question. He shook his head and you hummed, silently taking in a quick breath, your gaze moving to your right. “Have you thought about what you want it to be like?”

Should he say it? He wanted to. He really did. But he couldn’t, even if his eyes almost flickered down to your lips. “Who thinks about that?” He muttered. Perhaps he had. Perhaps he’d been guilty of having the thought slither into his mind once or twice— possibly more than just that. Perhaps it’d pestered his mind as of recent, like that damn small scratch on his glasses that won’t go away no matter how many times he tried to wipe it away as if that would even help. Perhaps it returned as you unconsciously licked your lips and raised your shoulder, a bashful grin growing on your face.

“I have, when I’m bored. An upside down kiss with a cute guy.” You admitted, your eyes narrowing afterward, only just now realizing how bizarre the idea was once you said it aloud. Your impatience throbbed in your head so badly you didn’t mind the embarrassment as much, though. You really were doing this, huh? “I think I found the cute guy.” You hinted, your heartbeat pounding in your throat.

He understood the insinuation, of course he did. But what better way to run from your feelings than close his trembling hand into a fist, pretend to be clueless, and act like an idiot?

“Who’s the lucky fella?”

Didn’t think he was so stupid, you grumbled in your head, masking your faint irritation. You pressed your lips together, sight on your cushions. “Someone I like quite a lot.” You vaguely said, voice distant. “Though I don’t think you’d understand— you’re not one to fall in love, no?”

It was half a joke but half a real question, one with solely one right answer you yearned to hear from him if you got lucky enough. Peter blinked nervously, fear burning in his stomach, clenching his insides as his tongue dared to break free from his control, from his cowardly spell. “Lately I’ve had someone in mind.” He breathed out, close to breaking out in a sweat. He watched how your eyes dimly lit up, hesitance impeding the light from fully glowing.

“Really? And who is this ‘someone’?”

“It’s a secret.”

“Tell me.”

“Not now.” He gulped. You pouted, begging with your eyes. “N-no.”

“Are you ever gonna make a move?”

Peter drew his lower lip between his teeth, feeling dizzy just by thinking about it; the downfall of the relationship once the distance became too much, once the malaise with no cure finally rotted the adoration, infested the heart, decayed it. “No.” Same answer. Same bedeviled word that boomed in his head whenever his emotions were close to getting the best of him.

“Why haven’t you done it yet?” You whispered, not caring anymore about how obvious you were

being. He frowned. Why hadn’t he done it yet?

“I don’t know if I should.”

“Why not?”

Why not? His own thoughts repeated, betraying him. The confusion unlatched the cage, released all the questions and doubts about his reasons and dread. They crowded his brain, rang in his ears. “It’s… it’d be too hard to keep the relationship alive.” He retold more to himself and the storm of interrogations than you.

Your brows snapped together, your own fear knocking on the door again. “Is it not worth it to try, though?” It’s what you’d told yourself: the antidote to unfreeze your limbs and wave goodbye at the concern hanging in there, because… was it not?

In the overwhelming haziness, he finally looked at you. It’s what he needed to come upon a realization, a truth he knew all along but crumbled and threw away. Everything hushed, one single, final phrase in the quiet of it all.

Convenient wasn’t what he wanted.

“It is.” He said under his breath.

You heard him, and your eyes twinkled. “Well, then make the move.”

He couldn’t help it anymore. His eyes found your lips.

“I will.”

You stared at each other for a moment, anticipation never more warming than right then as it fluttered in your chest. To your biggest disappointment, he broke eye contact and stood up. “Close your eyes for a moment.” He ordered, his face indistinguishable in the dark now that he was further away.

“Creepy, but okay.” You huffed, your eyelids fluttering shut. “You better not be running away right now, you’d break my poor ol’ heart.”

“Don’t worry, that’s not the case.” You heard him say. You trusted him, which could’ve been a terrible choice. The total silence that followed didn’t put you to ease at all, honestly. Maybe you annoyed him so much with your questions that he was about to murder you, and if that’s what was happening, you were quite sad, to say the least.

Your eyelids were itching to open and you lifted a brow, straining your ears to distinguish any sign of his presence. “What the hell are you doing?”

“You’re not gonna believe what’s about to happen.”

You snorted at his reference, but his voice was… oddly close. You opened your eyes, and— “Oh, fuck!” You yelped and jumped back in your seat. Damn right you weren’t gonna believe what was about to happen, for Peter dangled from the ceiling right in front of you, upside down.

“Is it too much of a strange idea? I was going to simply stick to the ceiling upside down, but then I thought… that’d be… worse.” He clumsily explained. You looked up at the web he hung from, laughing in disbelief.

“What the hell are you doing?” You repeated, but you weren’t mad— your large smile backed that up. You couldn’t figure out if it was a blush creeping up his face or if it was from the fact that he was upside down. Both, maybe.

“I’m making a move.”

You giggled, glad you confessed what you considered to be a perfect type of kiss to him or else you wouldn’t had witnessed how absolutely ridiculous he looked right now. “So you’re willing to help me check 'kissing someone upside down’ off my bucket list?” You smirked.

He grinned. “It would be my pleasure.”

You bit your lip, placing both hands on his head. “Alright, then.“ 

You leaned forward, the tip of your nose brushing against his chin. You softly kissed the area below his bottom lip to tease him, but he didn’t want to wait any longer. Not after so long. Quickly, he enclosed your own bottom lip with his mouth, lastly fully aware that inconvenient truly was magnificent.

[jq37]

thoughts on this week's ep?

**spoilers for broadway brawl**

***Before we start, I remembered as I was typing this one of the important notes I lost from last week’s recap: Interesting that Christmas seemingly went off without a hitch. I expected Santa to come back into play somehow (like, someone would check on him to make sure Christmas was still on or he’d call them in to help or something) but he hasn’t, at least not yet.***

My guys, my guys, my guys. Was that something or was that something?

I think I am on record as saying that combat is my least favorite part of ttrpgs generally speaking because I’m here for the RP but when a combat episode shines it really freaking shines (see eg: that first combat ep of Bloodkeep where everyone went full Galaxy Brain except for Matt who couldn’t hit a single thing) and this is such a good example. This is easily a top five ep of the season for me, maybe top three so let’s get into it and break down why it was so awesome.

We start right where we left off with Titania and members of her court having come into the theater to beat the tar out of Misty mid-show.

Quick note: At the end of last ep, it was set up so that Misty was thrust on stage right after hearing the mirror was on stage which would place this fight right at the top of Act 2 but at the start of this ep, Brennan seems to indicate that it’s taking place during what would be the closing number. Which would make more sense but imagine you go see a play, the first act is super dope, and then the second act is an insane, minute long fight that’s pretty unconnected to the plot and then a buff, naked, beautiful man tells you the show is over and you should leave. Wild. Anyway.

Pixies with tommy guns in inherently funny.

So one of the things that makes this fight really great is the way it directly ties into the story in a way besides “These bad guys are in our way.” Misty is using this show as a part of her reincarnation spell so if the show is messed up, it fails and she’s on her last life. Brennan has a cool mechanic of making her roll death saves every round at a difficulty lower than her modifier (which is s/t crazy like 11) but that gets harder with damage done to her and performance checks failed by other players who decide to jump on stage. It’s a great way to make the battle feel like it has more personal stakes and it’s my fave original Brennan mechanic since the Family in Flames Sophie’s Choice situation.

(I love that the death save counter is changed for theater comedy/tragedy masks for this. Nice touch.)

Em, Esther, and Wally are also at the fight which is clutch.

Also, Sondheim is specifically here which is an insane detail to add just because.

WILD that no one knows what’s going on with the ritual initially because, as Lou almost does, getting all the civilians out is the smart move and it would COMPLETELY ruin Misty’s plans instantly.

Lou having Kingston take the stairs bc’s he’s 50+ years old and has no time for that nonsense has equal but opposite energy to him doing extra rolls for Fabian to do unnecessary parkour before a simple attack because Fabian’s Like That.

Murph fireblasts the hell out of Titania’s foot soldiers right off the bat from outside of counterspell range which is very cool.

“Give me a performance check for the cockroach.”

“You’re upstaging me bitch?”

Another great thing about this fight is that because of it’s theatrical nature, everyone’s RPing it more than a usual battle ep (or more intensely maybe is what I mean).

Titania hypnotizes Don Confetti and his goons into fighting for her.

“She doesn’t know she’s in a play but she does sing most of her dialogue which is helpful for you.” Titania is just Like That.

Pete drops an erupting earth and drops a sick 37 damage on those same minions Kug got.

I didn’t notice before but yeah, Ally does roll die like a f-ing beyblade champion.

Emily hearing Murph’s low key, offhand comments and cracking up is great.

“Get Sondheim!” (Emily and then Ally: WHAT?!)

Actual living dude Stephen Sondheim being involved in this fight is just so ridiculous and fun and crazy.

We go around to Misty’s turn and she has to beat a 28 (upped from 10) and she fails which feels worse than a normal failed death save somehow.

Lou, in a very good RP move, tells Pete to tell Misty to end the show so she can tell them not to so the group has a valid reason to not evacuate which is a thing they (or at least him and Ricky) would obviously want to do.

Sophie, the madwoman, jumps out of the balcony, grabs a costume, then runs on stage. Emily’s glee at being told that her grabbing the costume will give her advantage is great. She’s always trying to figure out how to make the most of her moves. She is the living embodiment of the concept of method to madness (which is from Hamlet since we’re talking Shakespeare today). 

Ox is constantly dying (Brennan!) but also it’s like, why was he even there before the fight started? I’ve never seen a non-service dog in a theater.

Ricky: Is this part of it?

Oh, forgot to mention that everything that happens on stage is kinda shielded by the Umbral Arcana so everyone watching thinks it’s part of the show, which is a cool plot detail.

Ricky gets fULLY NAKED (Emily, with perfect comic timing: Now do I roll with disadvantage?) and leaps into the fray. He casts Protection from Evil and Good on her which (1) He does by Magic Mike body-rolling on her while he’s naked and considering how much shorter she is that her raises some interesting questions about positioning and (2) is the most clutch use of this spell I’ve seen in a while. It’s a spell I always wanna take as a Paladin because it makes sense character-wise, but I’ve never been able to actually use it because we’re never fighting fiends, fae, or celestial.

Brennan’s dime change change reversal of the critic’s comments on Ricky’s body rolls when Zac re-rolls his 11 makes me glad I never had to face him in a debate team setting.

Ally: What’s Esther’s deal ;)/Brennan: *Esther’s Weapon Stats*

“Your only secret you’ve ever had in your life is that you have a crush on her.”

Wally has a beautiful singing voice and a working knowledge of Midsummer's which is wild.

Lou’s periodic, “My man”’s when Ally/Pete does something cool. He’s very dialed into being Kingston.

Ricky’s aura keeps everyone near him from being charmed and Misty saves everyone else w/ a nat 20 counterspell. Few things in D&D are more satisfying than a well executed counterspell.

Titania trying to get Pete to be her consort or something when he just over the super posh Priya is very funny.

“I mean between me and Sondheim, get Sondheim!”

“DO WE HAVE HOMEWORK TONIGHT?” (“We did have homework.”)

Anyway, Misty has one success now!

Misty tries to use puppet to get Titania to drop her crown and it doesn’t work. Brennan says the crown is Crown of Stars which I looked up and it’s actually a spell, not a physical crown, but I’m assuming he used the mechanical effects of the spell on a physical item.

Brennan doing all these musical/singing bits when he absolutely doesn’t have to. I love it.

I love Ricky and Sophie being the two martial fighting heavy hitters of the group. Like, the two fighters, having the spellcasters’ backs.

I hope the one kung fu fan in the back of the theater never sees another Broadway show again because he’s gonna be so disappointed. 

“I’m just so inspired by that beautiful penis.”

Murph, out of character, verbally acknowledging how insane what they’re doing is. I love when someone pauses in a game of D&D to just recite what’s currently happening out of context so everyone can appreciate how crazy it is. D&D. Gotta love it..

Emily and Siobhan have a quick conversation in the background about whether Sondheim did Les Mis or not (not, that’s Claude-Michel Schönberg) while Brennan and Murph are Ring nonsense.

I also was mildly suspicious of Alyssa so I’m glad Kingston checked her out.

The entire roast of Brennan when he’s selecting D6s is an instantly iconic D20 moment. I can’t do it justice. You kinda just have to see it.

“Someone call Wizards of the Coast!”

Em, Wally, and Alyssa go out when Titania puts out a huge spell that blinds Kug.

“Yummy, yummy, tastes like ass.”

On Misty’s next turn, she rolls a fail which makes it 2 failures to 1 success. Brennan mentions that a nat 1 counts as 2 failures and a nat 20 counts as 2 successes. I’m sure that won’t be relevant later because you can’t foreshadow things when dice rolls are completely random.

Misty fails on puppet again again and Titania goes full Wicked Witch of the West on her and starts Jonesing for those shoessss.

Emily’s Emily(tm) move of the session is doing a flying leap at Titania, hitting her with a stunning strike and having Brennan retract the Box off Doom he was pulling out because she can’t save when she’s stunned. She just plummets out of the sky.

Don Confetti respecting the sacrament of marriage as he goes full Opera ghost and tries to garrote Sophie.

Ricky (still naked) grabs the crown from Titania, tosses it to Misty, and, with some improv and a good charisma roll, makes the show suddenly make sense to the very confused but entertained audience.

I’m so glad that Murph decided to turn into a bear and that they made the Winter’s tale ref. I should have had faith in Brennan and Siobhan, the theater nerds. Exit pursued by a bear y’all.

Lou and Emily bonding over being proud of their die for rolling well when they lend it out for a big roll.

Really wish Pete had wild magic surged in this fight. Just to add that extra bit of chaos. 

With a very good turn (no damage taken, no performances failed) Misty only has to avoid snake eyes to get through this turn. She leapfrogs over that low bar and rolls a nat 20, instantly fulfilling her win condition. At this point, the play is superfluous and Titania is still down.

“Brennan lost and now he knows reddit is gonna eat his ass.”

OK, remember how I said earlier that Misty seems like the kind of character you nudge a little temptation at just to spice things up? Yeah, her killing Titania and getting the crown of the Seelie Fae makes me a liiiitle apprehensive, but we’ll see how that turns out.

“I killed my queen! This is America we don’t have royalty here.”

“Bear, I don’t know who you are, but take me on your back, let me ride on stage.” —creator of West Side Story, Stephen Sondheim

Misty charms the critic at the show to make sure they get a good review which is such a fae thing to do.

Kingston’s clearly not loving attacking Don and Co. post “real fight” what with his whole Do No Harm thing (well, that’s Dr’s but same principle applies I assume) is a good character detail. For that matter, so is Ricky just taking Titania’s crown and not beheading her which he super could have done while she was down but it would have been very incongruous with everything else about him.

Brian “This isn’t Loony Tunes” Murphy throws Sondheim as a projectile weapon at a pixie who snaps the pixie’s neck and then does a monologue at the audience.

I love it when someone rolls low on an insight check and Brennan gives them useless info and then they repeat it in their character’s voice.

4 mins from the end of the ep, Siobhan realizes there are two Perrys in this story for the first time and has a bigger reaction to that than almost everything else in this ep except her nat 20.

Ricky looks for costume faun legs to cover his fully out dick instead of costume pants or even his own pants.

Misty starts glowing with reincarnation energy and she runs into her dressing room for privacy. Also, she still super hasn’t told anyone what’s going on. (ALSO, assuming she’s gonna make the world think she died, it’s gonna be wild for the company of the show to have their leading lady put on the performance of her life and then die on opening night).

“Who am I to refuse a crown when it’s placed so deftly upon my head?”

You know that behind the scenes thing where Brennan is like, “Yeah, I knew Siobhan was gonna steal that book,”? I got some of those vibes during the crown scene.

The implications of what Misty did are gonna be left until next ep but Brennan says something about her creating her own court and it looks like she’s recruiting followers in the promo. IDK how I feel about that (these stories tend to have great power--especially tied to powerful magical items--as a corrupting force) but I am very excited to see how it goes down! See you then!

[fangroyal]

WIP Meme

Okay, so hear me out, but I’m gonna start by giving a big thank you to @doubleappled��� for this one. You said you were tagging anyone who hadn’t gotten around to doing this yet, and I happen to be one of those, so I took that message to heart. Haha! I’d secretly been wanting someone to tag me in this for awhile, but it hadn’t happened yet, and I finally decided fuck it, I’m just gonna do it myself. I’ve not written in months because of this weird illness I’ve been dealing with, and I’ve been wanting to go through my WIP to kind of...try to get myself back into it? So here goes.

The Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.

Now here’s another thing. I don’t have a single WIP folder. I have MANY, all split up into different categories. So I’m gonna list them as such.

Harry Potter

(Untitled Broship 01) and (02) - some dumb Draco & Pansy ideas I had like three years ago

(Untitled Krumwood) - What it says on the tin. I think I was gonna do this for some comment kink type fest awhile ago and just....never....did???

Pride - back when I used to be obsessed with Oliver/Draco. x’D I was planning on incorporating some Ginsy as well. Basically, I’d gotten super inspired by a picture similar to this one (can’t find the original now), and fell in love with idea of them hooking up at a wizarding pride parade, covered in rainbow paint/chalk/whatever.

Harry Potter > Requests

Jersey - So you all know, I name any request type WIP docs after the requester. Just a way to help me remember. Anyway, this is for my Draise fake dating fic The Wedding Date, which I’d originally started writing..........a year and a half ago..........for the amazing Jersey’s (aka @kevinsnowday​) bday in 2017. I managed to post chapter one on her bday just fine, and then......never.....got around.....to the rest........Sorry, boo. ^^’ I really, really want to get back to this one eventually.

Harry Potter > Requests > Gay!Draco Challenge > Round 2

kreeblimsabs - Another really old one I want to get back to, my god.....I got this request a fucking year ago this very week, I think........This was from, as the folder names say, round two of my Gay!Draco Challenge. kreeblimsabs (who I’m not sure if they’re still on Tumblr, it won’t let me tag them for some reason) requested I write them a Dron drabble inspired by my favorite Disney song. Well, I’m gonna tell you all now...my favorite Disney song happens to be Hellfire from Hunchback of Notre Dame. So yeah. Haha! The ONLY reason I haven’t written this yet is because that’s such a dark and iconic song, that I wanted to do it when the mood really struck me, which unfortunately hasn’t happened yet. Hopefully someday!

Harry Potter > A Weasel and His Ferret (my Dron exclusive folder ‘cause I’m obsessed, get it? Haha! x’DDD)

(Unnamed Dron 01), (02), (03), and (04) - some random little snippets I always keep around, either to throw into another fic at some point, or to build up into their own

An Unconventional Marriage - GUYS, listen! LISTEN. I have been wanting to write this idea for YEEEAAARRRSSSS. YEARS I TELL YOU!! I think I was still in fucking college when I came up with this, and I’ve never been able to work it out. This is my idea for a Drastoria fake marriage type deal, where they’re the bestest of best friends who decide they’re gonna play the game both their families want by marrying each other, but they’re gonna stay just friends...while fucking whoever they hell they want on the down low. Obviously culminating in Dron on the Draco side of it. I want it. I need it. I CRAVE IT. I hope I actually do it someday.

Because Blaise Zabini Is An Asshole - inspired by this Tumblr post

Chocolate and Sass - A quick little oneshot idea of them meeting as little little kids, no prejudice between them, sharing a chocolate frog. Cut to them fucking, drunk on chocolate liquor as adults. Yeah. I know. But I thought it’d be fun.

I Want To Warm Her Heart - Inspired by one of my favorite White Stripes songs, I Want to be the Boy to Warm your Mother’s Heart, which has always made me think of Dron. Ron’s experiences with a very...icy (*cough*homophobic*cough*) Narcissa over the course of his relationship with Draco.

Like Fathers, Like Sons - A mid hook up Ron and Draco (post divorce, no infidelity here) walking in on a mid hook up Scorpius and Hugo.

Support - Oh my god, you guys, this one is annnnnciiiieeennnttt. I’m pretty sure I started writing it directly after my very first fic posted to AO3, like holy shit. The title is a redemption for me on a fic I wrote at 15 (which still exists on FFN, and also just so happened to be a Dron as well, but please don’t bother looking it up, haha). Lucius was assassinated in Azkaban post-war, and there’s a death threat out on Draco. Auror!Ron is assigned as his body guard during the weeks surrounding the investigation and his father’s funeral.

The Measure Of It All - a crack fic about Ron’s huge cock

TLC - Equally as ancient. Draco’s a masseuse. Ron goes to get a massage, surprised to discover who it’s with. Smut ensues. Enough said.

What Happens In Muggle London - sequel to my fic What Happens In The Forbidden Forest, in which eighth year sneaking out to go clubbing in - you guessed it - Muggle London fuckery ensues

A Match Made In Hogwarts - a multi chapter post-war matchmaker will-they-won’t-they

A Very Fine Line - the second thing I ever posted to AO3, and will probably never finish

Keeping The Faith - That time I really wanted to do a wizarding version of Jones Town.......Don’t look at me........

One Week - I remember nothing of this other than that they were going to be Auror partners, and it was going to be a challenge to myself to see how many cliches I could fit into one fic. Haha.

Switching Sides - What if Draco ended up defecting and becoming a part of the Camping Extravaganza of Deathly Hallows.........Yuuuuup.

Wishful Thinking - Can you believe I’d at one time planned on adding three more chapters to this fic? Yeah, me neither...

19 Days

(Untitled ChengYi) - Yeah, I don’t know either.

It’s Exactly What You Think - sequel to my fic It’s Not What You Think, in which I’d intended for some actual Tianshan to happen

Who I’ve Been Waiting For - I’m so out of the loop with writing for this fandom these days, I don’t fucking know...All I remember is this is supposed to be when they’re adults and Jian Yi returns. Zhengxi’s been hooking up with He Tian in the meantime. They were gonna turn into a poly thing at some point. I don’t fucking know, you guys.

Batman

(Untitled Jaydick) - What it says on the tin. Post Arkham Knight angst, reuniting, and smut.

JTHM (Johnny the Homicidal Maniac)

You Make Me Sick -  Yooouuuuu guuuuyyyyysssssss!! You have no idea how badly I want to write thiiiiiisssssssss!!!! WHERE MY DISCIPLINE AT, LIKE GODDAMN. The title is a play on the Devi spin off comic, I Feel Sick. (I hope you JTHM fans out there got that, ‘cause I’m super proud of it, haha.) IF I EVER FUCKING WRITE IT, this is gonna be a Nny/Squee, but....not really. ;) Basically, the idea is that Squee kind of....discovered his sexuality? Because of Nny??? And grew into a very gay, very pain centric, confused young adult with a major crush on his old next door neighbor. Has had numerous torrid love affairs because of this that never ever ended well. It’ll start with him seeing Nny for the first time again in, like, twenty years and going into a spiral over it.

South Park

The Walking Conformists - GUUUYYYYSSSSS. Sorry to keep “guys”ing you, haha, but this. THIIIIISSSSSSSSSS. If i ever buckle down and WRITE THIS BITCH, I swear it’ll be my holy fucking grail. At least to me. CuRed. Goth kids. Road trips. Zombies. What more could you want?! I’m happy to discuss privately with any one of you who’s interested, because it’s way too much to put here, and this post is long enough as it is.

What We’ve Got - sequel to my fic What We Can’t Have

(Rockstar!Michael) - What it says on the tin. CuRed, obviously.

(Untitled Religious Boys) - Bradley/Gary Harrison. Sexual discovery. Yaaassss.

Everybody Knows - CuRed where everybody thinks they’re already dating, and of course I mean everybody knows they’re meant for each other but Michael and Pete ;)

Nobody Needs To Know - Another old as fuck WIP inspired by the SADDEST SONG IN THE WORLD from the musical The Last Five Years. If you know anything about that musical and this song, you can guess what this fic would be about. Michael cheating on Pete with Firkle. Adults all! No chan here, bitches, you know me, c’mon.

The First Step - CuRed. Holding hands on the school bus. Will be the purest thing I’ve ever written if I ever finish it. It’s a drabble, and I swear to you it’s, like, two paragraphs from being done, and I’ve just never gotten down to it.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, I have a lot of WIP...Don’t have anything in my Fests/Challenges folders at the moment, because it’s, uh, been awhile, heh heh.

I’m gonna tag my love, @violetbehaviour​, because I think we’re the only two left who haven’t been tagged for this. xD But if any of you reading this are like me, and haven’t been tagged yet but really really want to be, please consider this me tagging you!

[nvr-pass]

[image description: a PowerPoint presentation with 15 slides, all with black comic sans bullet points on white background.

Title slide: "[large font] our flag means death [end large font] as explained by me, a person who hasn't seen a single episode but has looked at tumblr over the past few weeks"

Slide:"This is Stede Bonnet". a picture of stede on the deck of his ship. the bullet points read: He starts the series by getting married to a woman named Mary, because it's the 1700s and he has to. But he wanted to marry for love and he's gay so he and Mary hate each other. They have kids? I think? Mary likes painting and he's a dick about it; he likes making little boat models and she makes fun of it. Anyway he runs away to become a pirate but he's a pathetic wet towel of a man so his idea of being a pirate is creating like a luxury boat with a library and a walk-in closet. And he has a crew made up of a bunch of weirdos he found and as far as I can tell he basically is like their soft-hearted babysitter. I think his ship is called "The Revenge". At some point he sets some aristocrats on fire and he says "passive aggressiveness" /end bullet points

Slide:"In like episode 4 or 5 they meet Blackbeard". a picture of blackbeard. the bullet points read: It's Taika Waititi! The guy who did Jojo Rabbit. His red name is Edward Teach. He's a big scary bad sexy pirate I guess, and we know this because he wears leather and has tattoos and loves to be stabbed. He finds Stede after Stede was stabbed and he says, "The gentleman pirate, I presume?" Then he lovingly nurses him back to health and then they switch clothes, I don't know why, I think because Taika thought it was funny. Blackbeard thinks Stede is really silly and cute for being an idiot so he decides they're going to be best friends now. So they combine their crews into one big ship. Blackbeard has a crew of really cool badass pirates, so now they have a mixed crew of weird losers and sexy badasses? Ed & Stede are love interests and that's basically the plot of the show is them having a rom-com /end bullet points

Slide:"JIM!!! I haven't seen the show but they're everything to me". a picture of jim with their arms crossed, looking at their grandmother. the bullet points read: Jim is one of the crew members from the sexy badass side. obviously. They're nonbinary and everybody respects them and fears them. Sometimes they have a beard (like one made out of hair, not like Mary Bonnet). At the beginning I think they couldn't talk but now they can. Their grandma wants them to do revenge? They are very secretive but they say they're "normal secretive" at some point. Their love interest is Olu /end bullet points

Slide:"Olu". a picture of Oluwand and Jim. the bullet points read: See, it's Jim's love interest. He's a sweetie pie. He one of the guys that DIDN'T want to kill Stede at the beginning because Stede reads the crew bedtime stories and he likes bedtime stories. Jim leaves at some point and he's really sad ☹ but then Jim comes back and he's happy! :D and they kiss. That's all I know. Wait I totally forgot he gets elected captain after stede and Ed break up at the end. /end bullet points

Slide:"This fucking guy". a picture of Lucius. the bullet points read: His name is Lucius. He's gay and he's kind of bitchy? His job is to stand in the background and make bitchy comments when Stede and Blackbeard are looking into each other's eyes. Also he says "I've decided to carry myself like I'm cute" and you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid". He has a love interest named Black Pete, Black Pete is white. He tells it like it is. He dies at the end (killed for telling it like it is) but it's ambiguous so everyone thinks he's probably fine. /end bullet points

Slide:"Israel "Izzy" Hands". a picture of Izzy. the bullet points read: He's a little bitch. He wants to fuck Blackbeard. I can't imagine this is a quote from the show but I've seen a number of people say that he thinks Blackbeard is his "leather daddy dom top" ????? Basically he thinks that piracy should be about violence and murder and he fucking HATES Stede because Stede is, as aforementioned, an idiot. Also he's mean to Stede's crew because he makes them "do work" at their "job". Revealing myself as "person who knows Taika Waititi from What We be in the Shadows, not just Jojo Rabbit like I pretended" but supposedly he's like Guillermo in the episode with Gail in What We Do in the Shadows. There's a scene where Blackbeard tries to strangle him and he gets off on it? He eats his own toe and I'm pretty sure it's a BDSM thing. /end bullet points

Slide:"Oh my God this is happening". a picture of Stede picking food out of Ed's beard. the bullet points read: In episode 7 or something, the whole crew goes on a little day trip to an island. ...Jim meets their grandma there I think. Lucius has to accompany Ed and Stede so he can make bitchy little comments obviously. Ed and Stede sit on a log to eat lunch and daydream together about opening a restaurant, and then Stede picks some food out of Ed's beard. Then Lucius says "Oh my God this is happening". Apparently that's the most important scene in the fucking show? /end bullet points

Slide:"Frenchie". a picture of Frenchie saying "Bit of fanfiction...". the bullet points read: I like him. He believes in crystals and he thinks cats are witches. Hence why he sews a cat on his pirate flag during the arts and crafts contest. He invents fanfiction and pyramid schemes. /end bullet points

Slide:"The rom-con shit". a picture of Ed and Stede after they have just kissed. the bullet points read: These two fall in love. As you can see Blackbeard's beard is gone because it represents his heartless pirate self. The concept is that Ed promised to teach Stede how to actually be a pirate, if Stede taught Ed how to be a gentleman. Basically because Ed found out that he likes fancy shit so he wants to know how to be fancy. They have lots of fun together being silly so they fall in love and kiss. Stede fully doesn't realize that kissing somebody and confessing that they make you happy ate, has anything to do with romance though? He’s just like "normal best bros behavior"? At one point Ed makes Stede stab him and it's a metaphor for sex and Izzy's forced to hear it and be jealous. They make plans to meet somewhere and elope? /end bullet points

Slide:"The breakup: Stede's part". a picture of Mary hugging Stede. the bullet points read: I have no idea why, but Stede flakes out on the planned meeting with Ed and goes back to his wife. His wife, Mary, is probably one of the coolest characters. She resents him for most of the show because she's a woman in the 1700s and he's a shitty husband. She starts Ikea club for,widows who hated their husbands, after she pretended to everyone that he died at sea. And she got a new man too, I think he's like their stable hand? But then Stede comes back "from the dead" so she fully plans to kill him in his sleep. He finds out and they sit and chat and she's like "look I don't really HATE-hate you, its just that I'm a woman in the 1700s and I found a new man and I'm in love with him because (insert speech about love)". Stede is like "wait that's what love is? OK uhh I also found a new man”. So she helps him fake his death by releasing a tiger and dropping a piano on him. He gets on a rowboat and evidently he's going to row his way through the ocean back to his boyfriend. /end bullet points

Slide:"The breakup: Ed's part". a picture of blackbeards flag. it shows a skeleton with horns holding a cup and a spear pointed at a bleading heart. the bullet points read: Ed meanwhile decides to get into bed and cry and eat chocolates. Lucius stands in the background to make bitchy comments, good job Lucius. He wears this pink robe thing to be sad in. Then Izzy shit-talks him and that's the part where Ed strangles him and Izzy gets off on it. After that, he decides to paint on a beard made of makeup so that he can look edgy again and go back to being heartless. To really show how heartless he is, he makes a new flag with a skeleton stabbing a heart. To show that he's over it and he's normal now. I *am* a lesbian but I can admit when a guy looks hot and Taika Waititi really is serving the hell out of some looks with that makeup beard thingy. /end bullet points

Slide:"Spanish Jackie". a picture of Spanish Jackie and Geraldo. the bullet points read: I don't know what her relation to the plot is. She's here to be sexy basically. Look at her. It's Leslie Jones. Look at her outfit oh my god. She has 18 husbands. And 1 wife (me)/end bullet points

Slide:"David Jenkins". a picture of David Jenkins. the bullet points read: This is the guy who made the show. His main passion in life is gay rights. Apparently Blackbeard’s flag really was, or legendarily was, a skeleton stabbing a heart, and that just sounded really rom-com-y to him. He goes on Twitter and makes lots of comments about how the show is a romance. Apparently people are calling it a "buddy comedy" even though the two guys kissed and said they were in love, so he's just devoting a lot of energy to being very clear on the romance aspect. Taika Waititi said that this guy "just wants to piss off homophobic historians". /end bullet points

Slide:"That's it". the bullet points read: "What the fuck, why even watch the show at this point when you know the entire story?" I want to know what Spanish Jackie's deal is. Just wanted to say to my followers, I'm sorry about what I did to you all with What We Do in the Shadows, because now you all did it back to me with this show, and now I know the whole plot of a show I haven't EVEN SEEEN!!! It does look really good and funny though. I wish I had seen it in television form instead of gif form. I'm gonna see it in television form now that I'm done with this PowerPoint. /end bullet points

/end id]

We’ve lost the art of Tumblr Comic Sans PowerPoints explaining a show from the point of view of someone who’s never seen it

so as promised, Our Flag Means Death, everything I’ve learned against my will from Tumblr:

[walkonandtwo]

A mans Stories, Memories of Chalk.

David Courchane

January 17, 2021  · 

Chalk’s Stories - Chalk Courchane and Mission Days, or Mission in the Good Ole Days.

Here's the opening paragraph:

Just sitting here this Saturday at home with country music in the background I began to think of the old days in St. Ignatius. This would be in the late 1960s and early 1970s… around 1968 a bunch of us came home from overseas, Vietnam, Korea and Germany. Others came home from “Indian” school. And still others were there to meet us. I imagine there was about 25 or 30 of us young men and women (or “boys and girls” to me now!) that ran together. And with the concentric circle of friends from that core group it engulfed up to 100 or 150 people that weaved in and out across our comic opera’s center stage! We partied, loved and fought together or each other. My God there was some damn good friends in that group. Each a person in his or her own right. Each a character with a history and with lots of charming character or not! By Friday and Saturday night we were drinking and dancing at the Bob & Darlene Matt’s Silver Dollar, the Dumont’s Pete’s Bar, Johnny Schmauch’s Club Bar, Scheelers Tepee Bar, Buffalo Park Bar with Fred Gillard and later Jim Nichols, the 44 Bar of Ray Wagner, the 4 Star Bar, Tiger and Joann Schmauch’s Dixon Bar, Perma Bar and the Stockman’s and Log Cabin in Arlee, and Evaro Bar…and many more… Park Hotel in Missoula was another of our party places! We had a time! We partied all weekend until the bars closed than headed for house parties or Mission Dam and partied until the sun came up. Once we stayed partying at Mission Dam for three days and nights! Many of the group are gone now having died in one way or another. I can see them all in my mind’s eye! They say some western towns had a man before breakfast every day…well we had a man every week or month in those days…wild and dangerous at times. The group I was with were kind of ornery now that I look back. The women fought like men and were good scrappers. Some of us could fist fight so long we called them “long fighters.” We were in one misadventure or “jam” after another. I remember that 4 or 5 of us were on unemployment one winter and got out checks at different days… whenever someone got his check he split with the others, then the next check was split and so on…that way we all had party money for the weekends! Once Howard Peone and I got into an altercation with an Indian from another reservation. We followed him out of the Silver Dollar to his car parked on the street just outside the bar across from Curt Papenpuss’s Hardware Store. When we were about 7-8 feet from him he reached in an open window of his car and drew out a shotgun. As he pointed it at us Howard and I looked at each knowing would not have time to leap at him and disarm him. But we jumped at him anyway that was all we could do. As he pointed it he pulled the trigger. But it just clicked! It had no ammo! We took the shotgun from him and tossed it into the middle of the street. After leaving him bruised and bleeding we went back in the Silver for a drink…of course we laughed about as that is how we were in those days. One of these days I am going to write a book about those times but not now. As you see some of the old fat men around there just remember at one time they were good looking women chasers and tough sons-of-bitches. Some were outlaws but all of us were friends of the outlaws!

[classicdaisycalico]

🔥 for the Sonic series as well ;)

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.

Hoo boy you just opened another entire can of worms here

So uhhh let’s get started shall we?

First of all, people need to stop bitching about whether or not the classic games are the best or the Adventure-era games or the modern games. All Sonic games have their ups and downs. To say that their greatness stopped after [insert Sonic game here] is really rude and puts down a lot of other people who genuinely like the series and all it has to offer.

With this in mind, I genuinely like Sonic ‘06…at least, in theory. If Sega hadn’t rushed it the way they did (and I feel awful about all the pressure that was put on them in order to put something out there), then I’m sure we would have had a genuinely excellent game and we definitely wouldn’t have as much of a divide in the fandom. Of course, I am not without my fair share of opinions on it, though.

Let’s just get right down to it, shall we? We didn’t need Elise and that awkward “romantic” subplot. It felt kinda…forced in some ways? Furthermore I don’t even think that the princess in the story should have been Elise. It should have been Blaze. She could still be the same character implemented in the exact same way and everything, but carrying all of Elise’s role in the story would have made SO much more sense. It would give her a larger reason to be a part of the storyline, too. Also…SOL Dimension? SOLeanna? SOL Emeralds? SOLaris? Sega missed out on a golden opportunity here. I think they should hire me for a remake of this game.

Speaking of Blaze, WHERE WAS SHE IN FORCES?! I know she’s gonna show up in IDW at some point, I think, but if the Phantom Ruby can mess with other dimensions, then Blaze popping up in the in-game story could have made sense. Also, where was Big in all this? Where was Cream? And her mom? And most importantly, where were all the Chao and the animal buddies? Sonic games aren’t the same without Chao :(

Now let’s change the subject here and get to the voice actors. I genuinely like this voice cast a lot. Roger’s voice still sits a little too deep for a 15 year old, I think, but he delivers the snark so well it’s grown on me.

I like that Cindy Robinson doesn’t sound too Minnie Mouse with her take on Amy, but I still like Liza Ortiz’s slightly better since her 12 year old voice is a little more believable.

Quinton Flynn makes a good Silver. His voice doesn’t bite as much as Pete Capella’s voice used to. Quinton sounds much…calmer? But he still manages to capture both the vulnerability in his voice and the strong sense of justice he maintains.

Kirk Thornton is doing an amazing job with Shadow. I know he had a little bit of trouble adjusting in earlier games but he has improved so much. I don’t like his take on Boom!Shadow, though. He didn’t have to make him sound so gruff.

Kathleen Delaney’s voice for Rouge was absolutely atrocious. Bringing Karen Strassman in was such an enormous relief. I like how she implement’s Rouge’s coy and witty nature, but Lani Minella still holds out as my #1 Rouge VA.

Speaking of Rouge, people need to understand that Rouge is not just your stereotypical “sexy female character”. Being flirty and confident is party of her personality, yes, but it’s both of those things that contribute to what is undoubtedly the biggest part of her character: her wits. Rouge can use what her mama gave to manipulate any enemy ever and later physically kick their ass in a matter of seconds. That’s pretty badass, in my book.

Speaking of female characters, Amy is more than her crush on Sonic, and the writers need to figure this out. Amy is a dedicated girl who throws her heart and soul into all that she does, and if she’s ever fighting alongside her friends, she’ll fight to the death for everyone there that she loves. Yeah, she just so happens to be more vocal and physically aggressive than most, particularly when it comes to Sonic, but she is only 12, after all. And even then, her crush has been significantly toned down, which I appreciate, since it means the writers are finally getting it.

Speaking of the writers, I notice that a lot of people complain about Pontac and Graff’s way about writing storylines for a lot of the games recently. And yes, that is true; while I do like the way they write humor, the things I don’t like are the plotholes that seem to stay empty at times, and some minor characterization things. While they do get the big picture about certain characters’ thoughts and actions, it’s the small stuff they seem to overlook, and missing all the small things can add up and make the characters overall attitude in a game seem off.

Speaking of characterization, I’m still bitter about the way they handled Infinite’s backstory. SO MUCH MORE could have been done with him, and yet his motivation for becoming what he became was chalked all up to simply being bored with the current state of the world. I’m not bitter lol

Lastly, let’s get to ships. There are a few that I’m not completely on board with, and shipping Knuckles with Rouge basically tops the list. I always feel like I’m one of the only people on this hellsite that doesn’t ship the two together (anyone who knows me knows that Shadouge is my OTP for the Sonic series). I just feel like there’s a stronger bond and overall sense of closeness that Shadow and Rouge has that Knuckles and Rouge doesn’t. Most of the time, their interactions are generally negative and sometimes even played up for comic relief. I don’t see those kinds of interactions culminating into a relationship, I just don’t.

I’m not on board with Sonaze, either. Sorry guys! I feel like Blaze wouldn’t want to ruin one of her first real friendships with someone who she used to hate. Friendship has become something really special to Blaze, and trying to move beyond it, especially with someone who is not on board with romantic relationships most of the time, would probably not be the best move to make, anyway. I think it’s for the best if she left her friendship as it was.

Shadamy is a little unsettling. Shadow saw a comparison in Amy to Maria in Sonic Adventure 2, right? So at best, I think he sees her as something akin to a little sister figure, just like how Shadow saw with Maria. Also, I haven’t seen much interaction between the two of them since then (with a few minor exceptions, of course). So…how would that make any sense? (It’s through this reasoning that I can’t ship Shadow with Maria, either. Aside from the fact that she’s a literal human. Who is also currently dead.)

With all the times Sonic and Shadow have faced off against each other, I don’t see Sonadow happening. While they do harbor a mutual respect for one other, their personalities clash immensely, and pointing out their shit to each other every time that happens can turn ugly very quickly. The fact that it’s been going on for so long only justifies that reasoning further. (Sorry, guys!)

Phew. Okay. I’m done. Hopefully I don’t get crucified or burned at the stake or anything for this. (Especially that last bit. I swear I’m not homophobic, at least…I try not to be. Anyone who follows me would know that I try to educate myself on any LGBT+ issues as much as I can.)

Uhhh so that’s that. Hope you enjoy reading through all of this!

[nightwitchwriter]

New Original Story

Hello Tumblr, 

This is nightwitch. As of now, I decided to post up my first story. It may be clunky, messy and a bit hard to read, but bear with me. It actually is the script of a comic I’m working on, so that’s why the dialogue is a bit weird. This was originally supposed to be posted earlier in September, but due to school, and my own procrastination, I was late. Please forgive me. Hopefully, the next post will be either before or on the date.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I look into the mirror to check on my battle gear.

“Skirt, check.” As I patted my long, black skirt. “Necklace, check.” As I put on my quartz necklace. I looked over to my dresser, grabbing the small stick and putting it into my bag. “Wand, check.” I grabbed some black lipstick and put it on my lips. “Lipstick, check.” I said, as I looked in the mirror, putting the makeup on. Dalila, my friend, jumped into my room, via the window. 

“You know, we have a cat door, right?”

“And seeing your sister’s pet be the first thing I see? Not happening.”

“Suit yourself.”

She watched as I put on my boots, before grabbing my school bag.

“You ready?” she asked teasingly, already knowing my reaction.

I slapped my face, and slid my hands down, groaning in annoyance, before slapping them again.

“As I’ll ever be. Let’s get this over with.”

Chapter 1: Introductions

I opened the heavy door, walking into the school, filled with students. As I walked by them, many of them stopped talking or doing what they were doing to gawk at the witch, aka me. I could practically hear their thoughts and whispers.

“They let her back in here?”

“Wasn’t she expelled”

“Another year with the Wicked Witch of Willows High. Great.”

I looked back at them, everyone immediately either looked away or started talking about something else. I smiled to myself. Sometimes it's fun being seen as the bad guy.

 I head to my locker and take out my books for the day. If you’re wondering why I’m not going to magic school, like they do on tv, well, I decided that for myself. There are magic schools, but I already went there when I was in elementary school. Not really much of a big decision really. Just wanted a change in environment.

“Hey Will.”

I turned to see one of the only friends I made here. Madeline de la Roche. The only reason she doesn’t fear me is because she's an outcast in her own right. If I have to spell it out for you, she’s blind! What more can I say. Anyway, it's because she’s blind, that she doesn’t judge based on outer appearance, but she can tell I’m a good person. 

“Hey, Maddy. Oh, did you finish the literature homework that’s due today?” I asked

“No, I’m letting you copy my homework again.” She quickly shot down

“Please? It’s English Lit. No one is going to care unless we’re a lib-bra-ian!” I cried out, stomping my foot at each syllable of the word.

“Mrs. Green is going to care.”

“And should care, why?”

“Because it lets her know someone besides the regulars, is paying attention in class.”

“Again, I should care, why?”

As we laugh, I thought back to when we became friends in freshman year. Immediately, looking as I was, no one wanted to be near me, and my RBF didn’t help. So as I sat alone, Maddy asked if she could sit next to me. I asked the most basic and rudest question I could ask a person.

“Are you blind?”

The fact that she said yes instantly, shocked the hell out of me, so I quickly apologized and let sit next to me. She was friendly and we got to talking. Now everyone calls us the Witch Sisters. Like me, Maddy wears a whole lot of black, and she can pull off three faces. One, is when her eyes are closed and is able to pull off the friendliest of faces. Two, her eyes are open, but when she’s smiling, she has this dreamy look that makes her oh-so pretty. Three, she is staring blankly at the person she’s talking to. Like she’s showing no emotion or not even blinking, to the point where its creepy to continue. It’s kind of funny when you watch. Since she’s so gentle and friendly, and blind, she rarely gets talked about. I’m another story.

As we laugh, I thought back to when we became friends in freshman year. Immediately, looking as I was, no one wanted to be near me, and my RBF didn’t help. So as I sat alone, Maddy asked if she could sit next to me. I asked the most basic and rudest question I could ask a person.

“Are you blind?”

The fact that she said yes instantly, shocked the hell out of me, so I quickly apologized and let sit next to me. She was friendly and we got to talking. Now everyone calls us the Witch Sisters. Like me, Maddy wears a whole lot of black, and she can pull off three faces. One, is when her eyes are closed and is able to pull off the friendliest of faces. Two, her eyes are open, but when she’s smiling, she has this dreamy look that makes her oh-so pretty. Three, she is staring blankly at the person she’s talking to. Like she’s showing no emotion or not even blinking, to the point where its creepy to continue. It’s kind of funny when you watch. Since she’s so gentle and friendly, and blind, she rarely gets talked about. I’m another story.

“Hello Heather.” we both said.

“It’s a good thing I caught you. Can I ask for a favor?” Heather asked, in her sweetest voice

We both looked at each other, uncertain, but I sighed, pushing Maddy a bit forward.

“You go on ahead. I’ll see you in class.”

“Alright.” Maddy slowly walked away, the group moving out of the way to let her pass. I turn back to Heather.

“Alright, what do you want?” I addressed her as politely as I could.

“What do you mean?” She asked so nicely

“I mean, that I don’t have any love potions that would work on you. If you wanted any.”

“Oho, I’m not going to spend $5 for some “potion” that probably doesn’t even work. Why do you think I asked for a favor?” 

“So what is this “favor”? A jinx on your competition?”

“On, nothing that low. I was wondering if you could make a drink that could help me sleep. I haven’t been able to sleep lately for some reason.”

“Having guilty nightmares, maybe?”

“Why would I have anything to be guilty of?”

If any of you are able to guess, we were attacking each other in the most subtle way possible. It would have continued, if not for an interruption.

“Oh for Pete’s sake, just ask her! We’re going to be late for class!”

We both looked to see that it was Nicholas LeBec, literal model student of  Ukrainian and Irish   heritage and current possible boyfriend to Heather. For a nice guy, he’s hanging out with Heather and her friends. Either way, he’s one of the only few students who’s not scared of me. In fact, he always teases me whenever he gets the chance. Not in a mean way, more like a playful manner. I don’t know why, and it's weirding me out. 

Heather sighed. “Look, do you have what I need or not?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I think I have just the thing? But, what’s in for me?” I smirked

“Did you forget this is a favor?” She taunted.

Technically, a favor means, I do something for her, she does something for me in return. But we all know that probably won’t happen.

I stared at her, until I sighed in defeat. “Alright. I think I have something just for you. Come by my locker later, and I’ll give it to you.” I gave her my sweetest smile.

“Aw. Thank you.” As she gave me a hug, she whispered in my ear, “You better not screw me over, bitch.” She then walked away back to her group, as they headed for class.

See, told ya. Total psycho. Don’t worry, I have something special to give her. I smiled to myself as I thought of the “potion” I was going to give her.

I managed to make it to before the bell rings, thinking back to see if I missed anything of introducing myself.

Oh yeah! My mom is a cafe owner, and is also a witch. So is my little sister, she goes to magic school. My dad owns two businesses, a clothing store and a bar. Did I fail to mention that he’s Italian, while my mother is Irish? Yep! Both sides are Catholic, but thankfully, we’re not too religious, considering my mother’s family are also witches. The only sucky part is that we still have to go to church on Sundays. So freaking early!

Other than that, that should be it for introductions of the people in my life, involved or not. I’ll tell you how things get really complicated in the next chapter.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Again, I apologize for this chapter. I lost my train of thought while working on the ending. So again, bear with me.

[fizzingwizard]

Here’s a grand problem I have with X-comics, and it’s one of the reason I liked Bendis, even though there were so many people who didn’t - I didn’t disagree with their reasons, it’s just that Bendis was good at storytelling. When I read his comics, I didn’t feel like the story was super rushed and crammed into 20-something pages. I may not have always liked the story, but at least I could tell I was reading one.

Most X-comics these days read like summaries of something cool that I’d really love to experience for myself, for example, through an interesting graphic novel about a group of lovable superpowered misfits. Instead I get “This happened! Then that happened! Then this person made a really cliche comment to indicate that they have undergone Character Development! Often off-panel! Then guess what - another thing happened! Then there’s a cliffhanger! I bet you’ll never guess what happens next! I bet you’ll be really surprised to learn that ANOTHER THING HAPPENS”

so I just finished xmen gold 1 and 2 and yeah that’s my overall feeling.

anyway, it wasn’t all bad. I appreciated the bits of humor guggenheim surprised me with. they gave the characters life. i like live-seeming characters better than dead ones with zero personality but thats just me.

i did appreciate this:

nice throwback.

although this made me want to eat pillow:

GOOD HEAVENS LET THEM BE. Enough of this I’ll always love you bs. People don’t love their exes forever. And no, Kitty, you haven’t moved on, even though you should, you didn’t move on the first time or the second time or third time and not now either. For pete’s sake (pun intended) LET KIOTR DIE

^This made me forgive Guggenheim a bit. A small bit. But I did laugh.

K, bitching under the cut

alrighty so WHY is everyone so impressed when kitty phases the skyscraper?? Like praise her yeah, sure, that’s awesome, but why be so surprised??? Did you all forget that she once faced a gigantic alien bullet through the entire planet, when the type of metal it was made of was hard for her to phase through to begin with??? Like yeah she nearly died and was lost to us for a couple years but I’m pretty sure skyscraper < gigantic alien bullet. Did you forget this even though it was MENTIONED later int he same issue

but also how did she phase the skyscraper? I totally believe she could phase something of that size, but isn’t it going to, idk, crumble as it falls? I suppose the point was just to phase as much as it as possible to prevent more damage. Still, it seems like physics would object to this.

OK but since when has Logan not appreciated a baseball game. I was ready to write this off as “it’s old man logan not our logan” but Kitty’s response seems like she wouldn’t expect any Wolverine in her acquaintance to make this comment. I’m pretty sure Wolverine looooves baseball games. Kitty’s Mystique accusations need work. Kurt was more on target when he made one when Logan talked up Cyclops.

yes I know this book is about getting back to their roots (though for some reason by inexplicably making Logan forget he used to enjoy baseball). like nearly ever new book that’s come out in the past eight or so years. do you really need to drive it home so emphatically. The latter part of this scene where Ororo reflects on what they’ve done by fighting with the Inhumans was much better than this nonsense. I think they should have ended this little convo at “it’s shakespeare in fact” hey at least it gives us a reason for why beast was so sad when kurt died, clearly they were amazing shakespeare friends off panel

help i’ve become a true comic book cynic. i swore it wouldnt happen i didnt want to make bendis’s predictions true but here we are

[popculturebuffet]

House of Mouse: Mickey and the Culture Clash (Commission by WeirdKev27) or “What the Hell, Clarabelle?”

Hello, hello, hello... I wish I could say I was in good spirits but i’m tired, have covid induced chills running down my spine.. and oh yeah there was an armed insurrection i the captial last night that showed just how broken this country was. And while Monster Bash would still be relevant... I couldn’t do it. I admit to being unable to do an episode where the millitant racist nutjob who harms people runs off into the night, and does much worse in later episodes, while the people she harassed are arrested the night after a bunch of millitant, racist, sociopathic, selfish nightmares sieged the captial, killed a woman, raised the fucking maga flag over the buildling and took pictures like they were goddamn heroes.  We got a stark reminder, not a wake up call, not an opening a REMINDER of just how badly broken our country is last night, and it wasn’t till this morning I found out just how BAD it was. The deaths, the flag, the fact josh fucking hawley, MY STAT’ES SENATOR and registered piece of shit, raised  A FUCKING FIST IN SOLIDARITY, which gives me the crippling fear his stupidity and unabashed racisim and support of a cou could mean riots at best and attempted uprisings at worst and who knows what kind of hate crimes against those of color and those in my own queer community. I am afraid, tired, and I am pissed and I feel we could ALL use something wholesome, warm and far removed from the shit going on. And in my hour of need to figure out something like that to put on the schedule.. Kev brought up a wonderfufl idea.  Every month this month till the end of it Kev is going to comission one episode of a show near and dear to both our hearts that has it’s 20th birthday this month. House of Mouse. He was intitally going to request Pete’s One Man Show, which is one of my faviorites, but was ironcially one I already planned to cover next month to celebrate both the show’s anniversary and Pete’s Birthday. But since he was happy to wait till then to comission it, he instead asked for another classic and one with easily my faviorite character on the show: Moritmer Mouse. 

One of the best things House of Mouse did was bring back Mortimer Mouse. Introduced in Mickey’s Rival, Mortimer was an ex of minnies who showed up for one short to be a dick to mickey before running off and leaving Minnie at the mercy of a bull he pissed off. He also weirdly kept electrodes and a car battery in his pants. The short itself is.. not great mostly because Minnie dimissies Mickey rightfully being pissed someone is hitting on his girlfriend in front of him, making jokes at his expense, and generally being a pillock as being jealous... which yeah, yeah he is. Most of the time jealousy and supscison of your partner is ugly, gross and damaging to a relationship.  You should trust them unless you’ve been given good reason not to, and if your paranoidly jealous about every friend she has she could be attracted to.. get some fucking help. Seriously, I need to, not for this for various other problems, but get some therapy to help with your trust issues or if your just being the kind of dick who naturally assumes men and women or men and men or women and women or men and nonibinary persons, or women and nonbinary peeps and so on and so on cannot be friends if they could possibly be togehter romantically... grow up.  I say all of that because those are serious underlying issues and I didn’t want it to seem like for a moment I was supporting them... and because sometimes i’ts OKAY to be jealous, to either just feel a little jealous of someone, or to you know be irate because your girlfriend’s ex is hitting on her in front of you and she’s being entirely receptive to it. 

So yeah i’ts really hard to feel bad for minnie’s bull attack or find the ending sweet after Minnie was you know, what ramona said for an entire short. However my point for this rant, besides giving out about the short again because I clearly didn’t enough in my Mickey Birthday Special, is that Mortimer is still pretty great. He’s a frat bro in the 40′s sense sure, but the idea of a local douche hoping to swoop in and woo minnie away, who has an oddly specific sense of humor and a bizzare, memorable and wonderful walk, seriously the short is worth watching for mortimier’s “I got two car batteris in my pants’ walk, is a good one. While he’d naturally show up in comics and what have you Mortimer just sort of vanished. But clearly someone on the House of Mouse staff, and Mousewerks before it, agreed because Morty was made easily one of the best and most recurring characters in the HOM, and often more prominent than Horace or Gus. While he still tried his old “I’m gonna do your common law wife act” a few times he was mostly there to be an annoying douche when the ep needed one and to be taken down a peg by everyone in the house. And that VERY MUCH includes Mickey. That’s also part of why I love this show bringing him back: It gives Mickey someone besides pete to give out too on a regular basis. He’s still his charming self about it but it’s lovelyt os ee Mickey sarcastically roast someone. And I honestly attribute the main factor of his sucess on the show to VA Maurice LaMarche. While his original VA, Sonny Dawson, was fantastic.. it’s Maurice who very clearly made the character his. While others like Jeff Bennet have taken over since i’ts Maurice who gave him his signature “ha-cha-cha” catchphrase, swagger and signiture voice. And no i’ts not lost on me that one of Maurice’s OTHER best roles is another cartoon mouse.. and I now very badly want him to meet Pinky and the Brain. But yeah, Maurice just oozes the smarm that defines mortimer for me, oozes condescinon and assholery and he, is., glorious. He was a faviorite as a kid, he’s a faviorite now, and Disney needs to use him more.. and also have Maurice voice him for wonderufl world of mickey mouse, though Jeff Bennett is not bad at all I just prefer the master at the role. 

So obviously, after the nightmare of an evening america had yesterday, an episode not only about how wholesome mickey and minnie are but about Mickey teaming up with Mortimer was EXACTLY what i needed. So pitter patter, this is Mickey and the Culture clash. As always for house of mouse i’ll be chonking it up and since this one starts right with the wraparound, and sicnce you know I spent a godo few pagraphs going over mortimer and he’s only IN the wraparound this episode... let’s start there

Mickey and the Culture Clash: Don’t Go Changin, To Try and Please Me So we open the episode and the review proper with Mickey performing a banjo sernade for Minnie, their song in fact. It’s a really sweet scene.. that’s quickly ruined by Clarabelle being an asshole, who says i’ts a bit crude. Minnie counters that while “It’s not mozart”, it’s nice and she clearly likes it and the gesture. Instead of you know leaving it there like a good friend, like she’s SUPPOSED to be to Minnie in most continuities, Clarabelle.. takes the things she said and her having to run out to wrangle pluto out of context, painting it as her thinking he’s not sophisticated and then running out because of it. Oh and she tops it by pointing to a classified add from a MM looking for sophisticated companionship. 

It just paints Clarabelle not as Minnie’s friend or a chatty gossip, but as a heartless bitch who has no trouble implying one of her best friends would cheat on her boyfriend TO HIS FACE, and is fine wrecking a perfectly lovely relationship just to have more to talk about. Seriously she starts gossiping to everybody on top of it just in case you thought Clarabelle was a decent person in any shape this episode. She’s the one thing about this episode that dosen’t work despite being integral to it.. well two but hte other thing is a small, end of episode gag we’ll get to. This.. this is an integral part of the plot. It also relies on Daisy and Donald being absent for the episode for what I can only assume is their annual sex decathalon because otherwise the second she heard about her friend doing this, before reassuring Minnie, Donald would be holdiing her while Daisy beat the absolute shit out of her for hurting thier closest friend and not bothering to take a look into anything when leveling such a rough accusation at Minnie. In a really stellar, really well paced episode, Clarabelle being so heartless stands out. It’s also, might as well get this out of the way, teh final episode not inlcuding the two holiday specials.. and it’s a good note to go out on otherwise, I just can’t ignore the obnoxious cow in the room.. in both senses of the word. 

So yeah Mickey’s trying to be fancy, and Mortimer gets a good dig in about him reading “You having trouble sounding out the words”, but once he hears what’s going on, or rather once he realizes mickey things Mortimer’s personal add is in fact his girlfriend cheating on him, he decides to help Mickey. And to his credit for this con.. Mortimer actually thought things out on how to trick his rival, and his plan here is douchey as hell but incredibly genius: he offers to help mickey and while that’d normally be suspcious he offers a genuine, and very mortimer explination for helping him become a bit more sophisticated to win minnie back: if Minnie finds a handsome, sophisticated guy to date, what chance does MORTIMER have against that? At least with Mickey, in his deluded egocentric view of things anyway, he has a shot at beating him. 

So Mickey classes it up a bit, taking some sopshitcated stances when announcing and trying to woo minnie by talking in ye olde english. When that fails, she just finds it silly but charming, Mickey finds Jose.. hitting on her.

Just.. I expect better from you man. Woo ladies all you like as long as your respectful but I expect better than to hit on someone else’s girlfriend.. which granted he has but given the last time we saw him do that, he nearly got stabbed a bunch and the last time he agressively hit on a woman he got punched in the beak as he should, you’d THINK he’d of learned something. Seriously once again Donald is only missing because this time Daisy would be holding Jose down while Donald hit him. Or possibly they’d take turns. Point is Jose REALLY shoudln’t be doing this and knows better.. marginally. But.. it is in character enough so ti’s not as bad as Clarabelle the homewrecker. 

So Mickey tries being fancy and goes on to do poetry instead of letting O’Malley and the Alley Cats play.. which is a nice running gag the series does as they NEVER get to play.. which while funny is a shame since I love the Aristocats. So then we finally get what Mortimer’s been playing at, he swoops in, claims MICKEY dosen’t need HER, and uses the same personal add to trick her. See, while what Mortimer’s doing is vile.. unlike clarabelle I can repsect it at least. I don’t condone it and i’m glad he gets foiled.. but as a bad guy plan it’s pretty clever and for someone like Mortimer whose usually pretty incompitent.. it’s pretty suprising he could pull this off. It’s still pretty damn low and scummy, no question, but props to being able to outwit and nearly outplay two people who deal with your crap on a regular basis and still convincingly conning both.  Thankfully while he tries to take Minnie out Mickey, in a great visual gag, puts two and two together, and busts out their song, with Mickey and Minnie heartwearmingly reuniting on stage as seen above. Then we get that gag I mentioned not liking: Mickey gets Morty back by planting a false marriage proposal from Moritmer to Clarabelle, again under MM and he gets carried off.. HAHA HE’S BEING FORCED INTO A MARRIAGE HE DOSEN’T. LAUGH. LAUGH AT IT. The gag just really hasn’t aged well, as otherwise it’s clever Mickey used Mortimer’s own trick against both him and the person who caused all of this but really.. Clarabelle gets no real compuance. At worse sshe finds out she was tricked.. but she again you know tried to break up her close friends relationship for shits and giggles. But .. it’s at the very end of the episode and very easy to ignore, so it dosen’t really bother me too bad, and compared to some gags of the type i’ve seen, it could be MUCH worse.  Overall this wraparound is one of the series best and a good one to go out on. it has a simple premise, a brilliant antagonist plot, some great bits from all involved, and even a great Belle and Beast cameo. All in all a really good wraparound only hampered by a sexist and dated ending and Clarabelle being portrayed as ...

She’s the worst, in the world. Okay onto the shorts.

Mickey’s Piano Lesson: That was a Fun One

It really was. It’s a simple premise: Minnie wants MIckey to do a piano recital and he decides “I don’t need practice i’m mickey mouse. “ And it’s REALLY nice to have a short that has, rather than aw shucks mickey, shenanigans mickey. While thanks to the new shorts we’ve had tons, it’s still nice to get one in the House of Mouse era, and it’s just fun to see Mickey take the usual donald roll of letting his overconfidence punch him in the face> It fits both though: Both are everyman and while I lean towards the duck, to no one’s shock, Mickey is just as capable, and his lack of practice comes off less like the angry and hostile way donald would dismiss it and mroe just loveable procastination. And as someone who REALLY struggles with procastination I related to this short, as Mickey does everything else he’d rather do from bathing the dog to skydiving till Minnie, in a great bit informs him everyone from the president, to several dignitaries from other countries, to a televised audience will see. We then get two really great and really beatuifully animated bits as MIckey wrestles with the notes on thep age then fights with his piano as he performs, still pulling it off but destroying the thing and rightfully earning a glare form his girlfriend. Just a fun, slapstick short with a great premise. 

Dance of the Goofys: Scary Children Set to classical music, this one has a bunch of goofys as Fairy’s, who are making the flowers go and the one who sleeps in ends up saving the king from a horrifing looking little brat. He reminds me of Montanna Max a bit.. speaking of which Creer Summer recnetly announced Elmyra won’t be in the reboot. And while this does make me fear actually good characters like Fifi, Montana Max, and more will be cut like the animanics reboot and I do feel for Cree not getting to be involved and hope they find another roll for her as, given her status in the industry she deserves better.. THANK FUCKING GOD. I’ll go into this in another review I have planned for the future but unlike the cuts made to animaniacs this was a REALLY good decision i’m really greatful for. Thank you crew thank you. 

Back on topic, it’s just a fun, really beautifully animated short about the goofies and hteir shenanigans with a really great high concept. 

Maestro Minnie: Brahm’s Lullabye: Simply Irresitable Another simple but clever and lovely to watch one, and one I like quite a bit more. Minnie is conducting some living violins to Brahm’s Lullabye to get a baby Violin to sleep, and we get some really beautiful shots of her as she does so.. only to get comically interuppted by other insteruments turning up the noise. Not much to say on this one as it’s short and simple.. but sometimes short and simple is just what you need and the fun premise nad really beautiful especially for tv animation at the time visuals really sell this one.  ONce again, good stuff. 

Overall: This was a REALLY good note to go out on. While as I said the Clarabelle stuff can eat my entire ass, everything else is really damn good and I highly recommend checking this one out. Next time, in about a month, we’ll be looking at Pete’s spotlight episode for his birfday. While you wait tommorow we have my first look at legend of the three cabs. But for now, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. 

[martywurst]

My First and Worst Year: Producing A Show

I get caught up in the gossip. Shitting on comedians that I barely know. I'm trying to stop that. Early on, I was one those guys that would say something negative because I was trying to start a dialogue and reinforce any negative feelings I had about someone. Usually based in nothing; maybe one lousy first impression or through the grapevine on Facebook. Unfortunately, talking shit is a major way to bond with other inexperienced comics. A lot of miserable, sarcastic, unmotivated, boring comics. Or 10+ year comics that bitch about how unfair everything is. They can't talk to you for 30 seconds without shitting on something.

Now I know that's not me. I never feel good about it and it never helps.

The comics I look up to are modest, rarely say anything bad about anyone because they're just focused. They don't feed the fire. I'd rant about something and they wouldn't have anything to add to it. Maybe something along the lines of,

"Yeah, that can happen," kind of response.

I'd see the look on their face. I'm the problem.

I was the same way in Junior High. Picking on the popular kids and being obnoxious because I was so desperate to be a part of their circle. Afraid to be myself. Afraid to put in that kind of work.

I'll be obsessed with some idiot for hours on a Facebook thread, so tempted to participate in the attack, but where is it going to get me? Fuck, I could've written something. I should be writing jokes now, but I think I know something about blogging and comedy! I feel like I'm just regurgitating boring opinions that have been voiced on hundreds of podcasts already, I'll try to pepper this section up! Check out this sweet ass pimp kitty vest!

 I always want to prove myself to other comics. An audience of strangers is always amazing, but I do feel the pressure of an all-comic mic. It's way too important to me. I don't want to be written off, I know I can be funny. Maybe not the last 20 times you saw me, but I'll get there, don't write me off!

When I had a decent set in front of someone I respected, I felt like I could check that off. Okay, that person doesn't think I'm a piece of shit anymore. I proved myself. Getting closer to being an actual comic! Every good set is a stepping stone. My bad sets would just temporarily render me useless. Instead of doing my homework and adjusting, I would just write something new or beat a bad joke into the ground. Maybe it'll work the 27th time.

"The people that go to Burning Man only need these two words to communicate: Burning...man!"

*crickets slashing wrists*

I bombed in front of Sean Conroy and took it kind of hard. Intimidating dude, (like the Ron Perlman of improvisation) he was sitting in the front row at Echoes Under Sunset with his arms crossed, waiting for his set and just watching me hang myself. He'd probably seen a thousand variations of the heckler character I was doing. I picked on him in character, but he wouldn't roll with it. Why would he? It was more fun to watch me squirm.

Every time I asked him a question he would answer,

"Sure."

Which is sort of the "fuck you" version of "yes and,"  It's an improv thing.

I was berating the audience for being a bunch of hipsters. Yelling out,

"Well I got something for ALL OF YOU!"

Then I started handing out free coffee coupons from a local coffee shop. Sean politely declined.

I had my bombing routine where I would call up Claire afterwards and tell her I just ate shit. Or who I ate shit in front of. She would convince me that it was okay, everybody bombs, and remind me that I'd had good sets before. She would tell me that she loved me and make me feel better about what had happened. Oh, there is life after tomorrow, I forgot! Thanks, baby!

Claire understands the grind. She's a fan of a lot of the people I look up to and we listen to a lot of the same podcasts now. She got into Jen Kirkman and The Longshot Podcast early on and now she subscribes to more comedians than I do. We went to Power Violence and a number of shows at The Improv. Pete Holmes, Todd Glass, Ron Lynch, Eddie Pepitone, Maron, Sebastian, Ian Edwards, and Tig- we love Tig. She pushed me to go on the road. She encouraged me to stop using the train and take her car instead. She makes this all possible. It's unbelievable. She even made cookies when I produced my own show.

I'd done a couple of shows at The Lexington with Tony Bartolone where I did some character stuff. I played a wrestler, a heckler that takes on Mr. Goodnight and a squarish Steve Allen type talk show host. Anyway, the owner liked me enough and said if I ever wanted to use the space, hit him up.

Tony was nice enough to help me too, he ran sound for me. Uggh, I didn't even give him a fucking spot and he ran sound for me- that's how great a guy he is and how SELFISH I can be.

 I think the best thing in comedy after doing standup is booking your own show. Reaching for the stars, pulling in friends, what a great position to be in! Compiling a fantasy list of mostly male comics and shooting them a message on Facebook.

So if you're a new comic wondering, how the hell do I get booked on a show?

Well, a moron like me could accidentally see you at an open mic and then end up liking you! And I'm the guy who did a shitty set before you, remember? You never know who could be running shows.

Most people got back to me pretty quick. Comedians love a full calendar. 

I adored The Walsh Brothers. So original and twisted. They blew my mind at TigerLily and I finally met the guys through a mutual friend.

Brian Scolaro was someone I had talked to outside of The Comedy Store. He's one of the first comics to give me any kind of advice,

"Don't move To Long Beach."

I was a fanboy of Dean Delray. I heard Matty Goldberg on Danny Lobell's podcast and dug his book about his friendship with Angelo Bowers. Ron Babcock was one of the friendly guys on the scene, loved his standup. I'd worked on a webseries with Paul Danke. Just met a lot of the other comics at open mics. I worked with Jeanne Whitney at Arclight Hollywood and we started standup around the same time. I watched Timika Hall do her first set at Echoes Under Sunset and she was great! Ester Steinberg cracked me up at The Palace and then I wanted to book her after I saw this sketch. She just happened to be hanging out with Neel Nanda when I was booking him, so I got both of them right then and there.

Robert Vertrees was brand new like me, but I just dug his story.

I knew I'd never have to worry about Ken Garr.

Just read his awesome blog entry "One Year Later and Why I Should Quit"

I should've taken note and made my blog shorter! That dude is a complete professional and will never hesitate to give you his tour dates at the MGM in Las Vegas.

Jak Knight was edgy and exciting. Jon Durnell was the best thing about a bringer show I did at the Formosa. I didn't even know Lisa Landry, but Brian asked if she could be on. Same thing with Kevin James Moore, a buddy of Matty's.

  Maagic Collins is one of the kindest souls I've ever met. I love his standup. He would show up to my afternoon Tribal mic on Saturdays. Very supportive guy.

I think I saw Rick Wood at Power Violence and he just blew me away.

Anyway, you get the fucking point, this was just an excuse to drop everyone's links. Jesus Christ.

One time I made the amateur mistake of messaging too many people at once and then having to tell one comic I'd put them on the next show. I got a lot of grief for that and I was pulling my hair out. I was getting a guilt trip from the disappointed comic and now I didn't want to book him at all. It was totally my fault, but I was just getting through the learning curve. Book carefully, and wait for your damn responses.

Another recurring thing that kept coming up is a comic wanting to bring a friend for a guest spot. It's a good rule of thumb to keep a spot open for a possible drop-in. Or just book less comics Marty. Aren't you glad you paid $200 for this helpful comedy workshop tip?

I was also planning on doing all these wacky sketches and transitions that had nothing to do with the stand-up comedy. I wanted to make it an event. I asked Chris Walsh if we could have an extended dialogue where the Walsh Brothers get in an argument with me and then pretend to shoot me from the audience...so now I'm suddenly on the level of The Walsh Brothers! Proposing bits. Chris was really nice about it and declined in the best way possible. He made me realize that I should only work on the hosting- not all this extra dressing. I'd be stressed out enough. Plus, The Walsh Brothers have their own thing going on and it's hilarious.

Claire helped me with some basic PR stuff; shooting out emails to various websites with LA calendars of events. Lot of people check online for free entertainment. I hit up LA Weekly early enough to get this delightful blip:

Did I pay anyone? I paid Dean Delray. I paid Brian Scolaro. It seems a little unfair now, I had The Walsh Brothers, Ron Babcock, Paul Danke, and Matty Goldberg, who all have a shitload of experience.

I got this dumb idea that I should write thank you notes to everyone else. Looking back, I gave comedians false hope of money in those envelopes, only to find a badly scrawled "thank you" with some shitty stick figure doodles. At least there were cookies at the gig.

Brian mentioned the 50 bucks onstage and I was really embarrassed. It exposed the inner-workings of my inexperience and that I was holding out on everyone else. I think I would do it differently now, but it was a free show.

Tony watched me have a mini-meltdown. I was stressing out because there was a band that was booked on a show immediately after and it was clear that I was going to run over their time. I thought if I gave up my own set and kept bringing the next comic up, we'd finish on time without cutting anyone's sets down.

Tony explained to me that I shouldn't of worried about that, that it was worse to bring the comics up cold. It's better to keep the audience warmed up, but I was hopping back on stage saying,

"Give it up for Ron Babcock, and now let's keep it moving- Matty Goldberg!"

I didn't get it. I thought running over my time would fuck things up and I'd never get to do a show again. I shouldn't of booked so many comics anyway- Paul Danke was going on dead last, and he'd been waiting around so long, I felt horrible. I should buy his album.

So don't sacrifice your time for the sake of the next show- be a good host, Wurst.

But that first show had a great turnout, especially for The Lexington. The comics were kind of impressed. That extra leg work paid off.

I remember I wanted to bring Dean Delray up to a Led Zeppelin song and I kept bothering Tony about it when the order changed. Then when the music came up, Dean was clearly stoked and that little moment meant a lot to me.

On his way out he yelled,

"Congratulations on your 1st year of stand up!"

Speaking of which, I asked Melina Paez if I could be in her "DropTheSoapTV" series, where comics do stand-up in her shower. It was a fun way to cap off my first year.

Okay, that was rather manic. Just a couple steps away from Denis Leary- uggh. Anyway, I STOPPED doing that. Here's a message to myself as I time-travel back to the shower,

Horrible jokes, asshole! Your taint is hilarious by the way.

I just want to thank the people that encouraged me or gave me useful information when I started bumbling my way through open mics that first year (July 2013-2014)

Brett Gilbert, Ric Rosario, Matty Goldberg, Tony Bartolone, Jason Van Glass, Ron Babcock, Dean Delray, Chris Walsh, Matt Walsh, Danny Lobell, Mollie Gross, Melina Paez, Brian Scolaro, Jamie Flam, Jeremiah Watkins, Mike Celestino, Justin Alexio, Neel Nanda, Mikey de Lara, Paul Danke, Ari Mannis, Lydia Robinson, Ryan Doolittle, Maagic Collins, Don Barris, Elissa Rosenthal, Rob Antus, K-von, Jarrett and Emily Galante, Christiane Georgi, Hiro Matsunaga, Greg James, Carly Craig, Matthew Hilton, Sally Mullins, Matt Sauter, Matt Gamarra, Donald McKinney, Ryan Kain, Jeremy Fultz, Del Weston, Derick Armijo, Alisha Morine, Nicole Malina, Devon Schwartz, Andy Salamone, Barbara Gray, Sean Conroy, Myles Weber, Ricky Winston, Frankie Ma, Rishi Arya, Brandon Birckz, Sean K., Mike Menendez, Jamar Neighbors, Mr. Goodnight, Erica Rhodes, Matt Champagne, David Gerhardt, The Martin Duprass, John Silver, Ryan Pfeiffer, Kevin Anderson, Whitney Melton, Kym Kral, Jared Levin, Kenneth Lion, Alex Croll, Adam Carr, Trevor James, Deon Williams, Amber Brashear, Pat Regan, Brad Silnutzer, Rob Weissman, Marty, Graham Curan, Eddie Pepitone, Quincy Johnson, Blythe Metz, Willie Dynamite, Freddy Morales, Marcela Perdomo, Nick Kaufman, Atelston Fitgerald Holder The 1st, Bruce Boiman, Tom Allen, Melissa Villasenor, Maria Bamford, Todd Glass, Lou Perez, Allison Anders, Jeremy Bassett, Tony Alfieri, Laura Niles, Tamoy Sherman, Chaliss Robinson, Eddie Whitehead Jr, Brent Weinbach, Jill Maragos, Jodi Miller, Luz Pazos, Brianna Murphy, Sasha Kapustina, Alain Villenueve, Brad James, Lauren Kiang, Yoav, Ken Garr, David Gregorian, Jordan Leer, Stefano Della Pietra, Down Under Comedy Club, Mike Garrison, Brad and Sara Harris, Thomas Hussey, Harold, Chino, Tiffany Gomes, Simon Gibson, Joe Wagner, Scott Luhrs, Jay Weingarten, Joe Kardon, Pedro Salinas, Willie Dynamite, Robert Vertrees, Amber Kenny, Karah Britton, Alison Tafel, David Hill, Andy Kosec, Micah Lile, Chris Putro, Kris Rubio, Jade Thom, Brodie Reed, Ryan Talmo, Kevin Lee, Kellie Ann, Jeanne Whitney, Jake Kroeger, Nikki Riordan, Tim Mars, Christian Chavez, Jake Adams, Louise Hung, Michael Donato, my Geffen peeps, all my Arclight friends, Stella friends, childhood friends and family that came out to support.

Or if you're just generally nice to me thanks. You gave me the strength to go out and bomb one more time.

Shout out to Mike Celestino's great documentary "That's Not Funny".

and finally To Claire:

For every time I called you up to moan out my discontent, only to be dissuaded from my stubborn misery because of your constant light, love, and gentle reasoning.

For those open mics you'll never be able to unsee.

I love you more than open mic comedians love pussy jokes.

And as you know, that's a hell of a lot.

[grahamcandy-blog]

A Kiss With a Fist

Cara drove Tom to the hospital in her car. They spoke about their likes, but primarily, it had to do with Comic Con. Cara told Tom that we were, in fact, going to Comic Con. Tom mentioned that he had offered me Backstage Passes to his Hall. He offered them to her, since she was driving him to the hospital, while I drove with Gregory. Cara happily agreed, and said yes. She had a request, which she prefaced, of course. “Is there anyway that I could possibly get backstage passes to The Walking Dead? I love Norman Reedus.” Tom thought about it for a moment, wondering if he knew someone there. He did, and instead of answering her, he made a call. “Hey, it’s Tom. Listen, ask Peter if he has an extra VIP badge for The Walking Dead...Yes...No...I hope so...” He stopped, and then was put back on the line. “Pete, it’s Tom. Hey, would you happen to have anymore backstage passes for The Walking Dead? I need one.” He nodded his head, and laughed, then smiled again. “Just hand them to Heather, and I will get them from her then, thanks mate. Cheers.” He hung up, and looked at Cara. “For driving me to see my agent, I got you two, one for you and one for...Miranda?” “Yes, it’s Miranda, and are you serious?!” Cara said, giddy with excitement. “Yes.”

“His BP was slightly elevated, but he has no signs of Tachycardia. He seems to be breathing okay, however, I did have to do some Chest Compressions since he had gone into Cardiac Arrest. I would suggest, for his attending, that maybe do a respiration test, and send him my way to run some MRI’s to make sure that it wasn’t something that he couldn’t control.” I said to the attending emergency nurses. They stopped after I handed them the chart, and I turned around. I felt like I was in a movie, where the beautiful man walks in, walks up to the pretty nurse, and kisses her. Seeing Cara with Tom brought me back to reality, as I realized that this was, in fact, real life. “How is he?” “He’s fine. Blood Pressure is slightly elevated, due to the resuscitation process that I put him through. Oh...” I turned around to face the still motionless nurse. “Roxanne?” “Hmm?” She replied. “Do an EKG on Mr. Hardwick, and make sure his blood work comes back as well.” She nodded, and walked off to do her job. “Seems you know what you’re doing.” Tom smiled. “I picked the right person to save him.” I smiled, and blushed slightly. “I was doing my job, Mr. Hiddleston.” “Tom.” “Sorry?” “Tom. Mr. Hiddleston is what I hear people call my father. I’m not that old.” “Ah, sorry. It is my sense of propriety, however. Now that I have your permission, Tom, call me Randa, she does all the time.” I said, motioning to Cara. “In two days, Comic Con!” She was far too excited.

The results on Gregory, Mr. Hardwick, came back fine. Cara had to go, since she needed to update her work website. The MRI was coming up. There was a knock at my door, and it was Tom. “May I come in?” He asked. I nodded, as I was in the middle of drinking my coffee. “Of course. An orderly has gone to bring Mr. Hardwick here. It should be a few minutes. Can I get you anything?” “Tea would be fantastic. I have not had any all day.” “Between you and me, the tea here sucks. After Mr. Hardwick’s MRI, I can take you to get some really good tea, not hospital tea, but good tea.” “Sounds lovely.” Tom smiled. “May I stay?” “Yeah. When he’s inside, don’t make him laugh, or anything. I do need to make sure he’s okay.” “No, absolutely. You seem very good at your job.” “Thank you. I worked my ass off to get here.” Tom smiled, sitting down in a chair next to me. He watched the three sets of computer screens, each one displaying something different. Mr. Hardwick, and nurse Colleen came in. A few other orderly’s came in to help with the transfer. They left, and he was ready. “Mr. Hardwick, can you hear me?” “Yes.” “Please stay as still as possible. If you move, we will have to do the test all over again.” “You got it, dear.” I smiled, and turned off the microphone. Tom scooted closer. “I’m surprised he listened to you. Takes me forever to get something through his thick skull.” “That’s probably because he thinks I’m pretty.” I joked. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he asked you out in the ambulance.” I had to bite my lip. He actually had. “He did, didn’t he?” “Umm...” “That bastard. I do like him, but sometimes I wonder when he’ll take it too far.” I laughed, and let him know I was starting. It took about 20 minutes for the entire MRI to clear and be over. No obstructions in his brain, and everything was clear. Just a simple choking.

“Mr. Hardwick, you are perfectly healthy. However, because you did go into Cardiac Arrest, we want to keep you overnight for observation. Would you like us to assign someone to call in the event of an emergency?” I asked. “Tom, give her your phone number.” Tom sighed, but I could detect a hint of a smile. He wrote down his number on a notepad I handed to him. He wrote more than what I anticipated. “Alright. Please let me know if anything happens.” He pulled out his phone, as he was getting a call from his publicist. “I believe Charles is here. I will see you tomorrow, mate. Ms. Graves, it was truly a pleasure.” He gave me a smile, before departing. I looked down at the notepad, and it was his number, but also a message: ‘I’d like to get to know you. Text?’ I smiled, and put the note in my pocket.

The first place we got to go to at Comic Con, was, in fact, Tom’s venue. It was going to be a small one, then lead to bigger things over the weekend. Tom had two venues that weekend, the first a small following of the Night Manager, while the other was to promote Loki for Avengers. Cara did not have a backstage pass here, but I did. He wanted to introduce me to the small crowd. Cara situated herself in the front, sitting next to a blonde that had an ‘I heart TH’ shirt. She sat down, and giggled slightly. The event started with a huge round of applause for the actors. When it was Tom’s turn to speak, he acknowledged that the week had been quite hellish, but everything was back to normal. “My agent decided that he wanted to choke on me, and I am not skilled in resuscitation. I did, slightly, panic, but in my panic, a lovely angel came to my rescue. She was quick, she was calm, and she saved his life. I couldn’t think of a better way to thank you, since chocolate and flowers didn’t suffice, although, I did send her some.”

‘“Hi, package for a Miss Graves.” The delivery man said. Cara signed for them, as I walked in, just as she was closing the door. “What is it?” I asked. “It’s for you,” She said. I went to open it, when I received a message. It was from Tom. I had to text him about Mr. Hardwick, and when he found out he was fine, we ended up texting until the early morning that night. A day later, and the package was there. The text read, ‘Hope these make your day a little brighter, and a little sweeter.’ I smiled, and read the note on the box. ‘Thank you for saving a life. You deserve this, and more.’ I opened them, and there was a bouquet of red roses, and Lindt chocolate. I smiled, and texted back. ‘This is amazing, thank you.’

I smiled at the thought, and realized that he was about to do something bad. “So, if you please help me to give her a round of applause, and for her to come out.” I heard the applause, and I walked out, blinded by the light. I found my way to Tom, and he gave me a hug, and a kiss on the cheek. “We are about to open for questions in a moment...” Cara was sitting next to the blonde, when she immediately stood up, and rushed to the microphone. She didn’t let Tom finish when she began speaking. “So, she gets that kind of thanks for saving a life, as you claim, but all I get is a card with your supposed autograph on it. What the hell is that shit?! That bitch shouldn’t be getting kissed by you.” Tom was about to call for security, when the blonde was punched out by Cara. “Don’t you fucking talk about my sister that way you dumb bitch!” Cara was pulled off of the woman, who’s name was Malory. They took both of them to the security office. I excused myself from Tom, and went with her.

They sat Cara down, but she was calm, still pissed. I knocked to get in, showing my badge. They allowed me in, and I gave Cara a hug. “What were you thinking? We can get kicked out.” “She called you a bitch. Only I get to call you that.” I smiled, and gave her another hug. “Dude, that chick was knocked out...fucking hilarious.” I heard a voice behind the door say. We pulled away from the hug when the door opened to reveal Tom, and someone else. Apparently, The Walking Dead’s Norman Reedus was signing an autograph in front of Tom’s venue when he saw the smack down. He thought it was brilliant, and wanted to go see the person who got hit, and the person who did the hitting. He saw Malory first, and gave her a smile. “People shouldn’t be called name. Dick move.” He then turned his attention to Cara. “You are awesome! That was brilliant. I’m Norman, and I’ve just become a huge fan.” He smiled, coming over and giving Cara a hug. I moved away, as Cara could barely move. I walked towards Tom, who instinctively wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “You okay?” I looked up at him, and smiled. “Never better.”