#anyway back to that point last year when i thought all the sylkis just hated me personally for some reason D:
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on one hand i know i don't write popular fic and This Is Fine cos i write things i want to read which is The Important Thing on the other hand some people have more kudos than i have hits and hits-wise if i added up 3-4 most popular i'd just about be at the same number D:
#i have stats off on AO3 but ppl have been giving numbers on twitter and now i feel insecure D:#i always come up with a reason “nobody will like this fic” so if/when it doesn't do well i can just blame that reason#also i KNOW that failing to consistently write a single pairing works against me i should remind myself of this more#the lack of (much) fluff doesn't help either i suppose#anyway back to that point last year when i thought all the sylkis just hated me personally for some reason D:#there's popular fic i wouldn't WANT to write for one reason or another so it's not like i'd be enjoying it much anyway u kno?#also i am sad in general at the moment so everything seems terrible even when it isn't or when it doesn't really matter#comparison is the thief of joy D:#meanwhile ppl have subscribed to the latest WIP and i am scared of them leaving when i update and they hate it :(#why would they hate it? idk they just will.#though partly i think the characters might just be too mean to each other which is a thing i am struggling with for some reason
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