#anyway as expected nobody on the kryptos family sends a gift | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

irregularbillcipher · 1 year ago

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mentioned this a while ago on twitter but in any au where bill and kryptos are like, normal humans, kryptos sort of manipulates bill a little into actually having a wedding by being like “you know it would piss our families off sooo bad to hear we got married. my dad might have a stroke. your mom would probably never talk to you again” and bill’s desire to piss off their respective parents and the chance to have the wildest, most batshit reception JUST wins out over general disdain for marriage and fear of accidentally showing a smidge of actual genuine affection for kryptos in front of people. the kryptos and cipher family homes both get the world’s most aggressive, flashy invitations telling them that their sons are getting married, that they are absolutely not invited and bill and andy would honestly LOVE to see them cause a scene if they try to show their faces anyway. the only location on the “invite” is a p.o. box because they’re not welcome but gifts sure are

#also like nobody is invited to the actual wedding. it’s a quick thing with like the least amount of witnesses possible #the RECEPTION on the other hand is nuts #also chuck is invited and brings his wife as a plus one and then they have a massive blow up #that results in them getting a divorce and bill considers that drama the best wedding gift he could get #anyway as expected nobody on the kryptos family sends a gift #bill’s dad sends a card that literally just says ‘to bill— good luck. from albert’ with a little money attached #bill’s mother does not sign it or know that Albert attached money to it and bill rips up the card and pockets the cash #and then goes back to never speaking to his father so. y’know

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