#anyway aroace jester and caddy living happily in the grove forever

[britcision]

I’m fuckin trying my best for the Mighty Nein Reunited but I swear it’s like Travis read a list of my least favourite shit he did for Fjorester and is checking them off againnnnnn

Like giving up the orb, it’s the point of the show, we know it’s coming, it’s gonna happen

And on one hand, I can see where he’s going? He wants this to be the big romantic moment, the “I love you and I would break the world for you”

But Laura is LITERALLY insisting “no it is not your turn you cannot do this do not do this thing”

And it’s giving me violent flashbacks to twitter and someone who Actually Said The Words that who Jester dates should not be up to Jester back when Beau and Caleb were “nobly stepping back”

(I just

They can decide not to pursue her, perfectly fine, no big deal

Them going and telling FJORD “hey we’re not going to date her you do it” was fucking gross

Caleb PHYSICALLY HANDING HER TO FJORD was fucking gross

If she is a person with agency, you do not do that. That is what you do with a trophy or a prize you give to the winner.

You ASK a person with agency WHAT SHE WANTS.

“Do you want to dance with Fjord”.

Even fucking better, FJORD COULD ASK HER. Infinitely more romantic, better ship material, treats her like an actual goddamn person who might even be able to choose who she fucking worships.

The goddamn Fjorester reveal was the biggest let down I have ever seen because in the Big Five Scenes leading up to the big question and ship becoming canon?

Maybe I’m fucking old fashioned but I like to think that the love interest should be in MORE THAN TWO OF THEM. PREFERABLY IN ALL FIVE.

But no. We got

1) Beau tells Fjord he should date Jester

2) Caleb tells Fjord he should date Jester

3) Caleb physically hands Jester to Fjord and earns my eternal wrath

4) Fjord gives Jester cute unicorn while they have cute dance (yes please why could it not just be this)

5) The Question (woulda preferred a longer talk but Travis was skittish and that’s fine)

Only Yasha and Caduceus came out of that mess looking good and that’s because they wisely did not get involved with someone else’s ship

Be like Yasha and Caduceus)

And THEN

THIS TIME IN THE ONESHOT

Fjord does this grand dramatic gesture of giving up the orb to save Jester DIRECTLY AGAINST HER WILL WHILE SHE TOLD HIM NOT TO

And when she voices her frustration and explains she had a plan to get him out? He gets fucking POUTY

“I saved you from dying”

Motherfucker they literally sank the fucking boat ANYWAY, you still had to use Kingsley’s dick boat in a box to escape and nearly had to use Jester’s spell

Like sir, my good bitch, I know this scene had to happen and you had to give up the orb but for fucks sake did you have to make it Jester’s fault??

Why the hell did this have ANYTHING to do with her?? It was his bonehead decision to go back to sea WITH THE ORB, and SHE had a plan to get you out without losing it

He could have thought of the crew, he could have thought of Kingsley, he could have let his ass get knocked out, he could have LISTENED TO THE PERSON HE WAS OSTENSIBLY DOING THIS FOR

WHILE SHE SPECIFICALLY TOLD HIM NOT TO AND THAT SHE DIRECTLY DID NOT WANT THIS

It is not a fucking romantic gesture if it is something the other person is telling you not to do.

I haven’t even gotten to the “I fell in love and when that was threatened” and holy shit if things do not improve or he doesn’t find a new spin I will explode

Jester is not a delicate fucking flower

She is not a weakling waif you must protect and make stupid decisions for

She has gone down before

She has DIED before

There was no way they could win that fight but she coulda got most of them home in the next round

She has been in way worse situations, in way more danger, just around the orbs

And Fjord’s biggest fucking failure with her all campaign was not fucking listening to her and treating her like a grown ass adult who might know what she’s doing

He didn’t believe she could have solved the problem with the hag on her own (oh we can go back)

He didn’t believe she might know Artagan better than him to know he wasn’t Uk’otoa and that she could trust him

He didn’t even think to ask her if she wanted the others to know they were dating, he walked up and kissed her in front of Veth and then LEFT. So SHE had to deal with it.

The fact that she fucking lied and said “I dunno he’s never done that before” says a whole fucking lot

Jester’s whole arc was around finding out who she was and growing past her lonely child fantasies and instead of helping and supporting her he pushed back on her actual main shining moment with Travelercon

(He did 100% stop flirting with her only after he’d just unequivocally pissed her off after Assarius so he can learn, he can do better, and they had so much genuinely good chemistry…

It’s just a fucking crime that almost all of it was before they agreed to date because Travis got bogged down in what romance means)