#anyway a rather overlooked song from 1993!

[eurovisionart]

🇹🇷 Burak Aydos - Esmer yarim

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

Vir2ual Drum <N> Bass 2000 Drum n Bass / Jungle

Was really getting all set to write this double-disc off as maybe the single-worst drum n bass and jungle compilation that I've ever heard in my entire life, but things thankfully shifted with the second CD of this 2000 release from the UK's Rumour Records, which gathered together a bunch of tunes from the 90s from a variety of different labels, and then slapped some pretty sweet album art on it too.

Why Rumour even chose to make this a two-disc set in the first place is a mystery unto itself, because the first CD is so excruciatingly piss-poor and mailed-in in comparison, with tracks that are so linearly boring, thin, and stagnant; but disc 2 has some heaters, so let's get into a couple of those...

First up, UK dnb/jungle legend Aphrodite's remix of duo Area 39's "Sparkling." As far as atmospheric dnb stuff goes, this is by far the album's dopest offering. While the literal drum and bass parts on it are good, it's all the majestic synth work that surrounds it that really makes the tune whole. Lovely icy strings are eventually complemented by more prominent, cheerily stabbing melodies that make you feel like you're aimlessly wandering around in an RPG that's set in space or something 😊.

My number one favorite song on here, though, is the one that comes from the usually much more overlooked predecessor genre to both dnb and jungle, which is breakbeat hardcore. I haven't plumbed the depths of this genre nearly as much as I should, but here we have a remix of a tune by Citadel of Kaos called "Earthquake." Funnily enough, I was trying to track down where this song originated from, and it looks like while the original version of "Earthquake" appeared on a Citadel of Kaos 12-inch called Pt. V in 1993, the remix of it went unreleased until 1997, when it very quietly appeared on a comp that actually contains many of the same tracks that this Vir2ual Drum <N> Bass comp does too, called Mad On Drum & Bass Volume One, which was released by a very small and briefly extant label called Life On Mars. And that comp doesn't list "Earthquake" as a remix, but given both how similar these two releases are, and that the track lengths for "Earthquake" and "Earthquake (Remix)" are the same, which is a minute longer than the original version that's listed on Citadel of Kaos' own Pt. V, I'm inclined to believe that that unreleased remix finally saw the light of day in '97 on Mad On Drum & Bass Volume One, rather than on this comp in 2000, even though it's not actually listed as a remix on the former.

But anyway, let's get back on track here, because this "Earthquake (Remix)" represents so much of what I love about the breakbeat hardcore genre that didn't get entirely left behind, but still didn't feature nearly as much in the successor genres of both jungle and drum n bass. While the barer-bones first half of this tune is appetizingly heady and dope, as it deconstructs to purely hypnotic rhythm and percussion before the breakdown, it's the sublimity that follows that breakdown that really hits, when CoK bring in some emotively breathy pads and re-lay unfolding combos of drum breaks over them, as a pitched up-and-sampled female vocal loops up to provide some more structure too.

You can derive blissful feelings from jungle when breaks combine and yield atom-splitting chaos, and you can derive bliss from dnb in other, more expansive ways as well; but when it comes to the more punctuated and raw, analogue flavor of breakbeat hardcore, there is a different, sometimes higher level of euphoria that can be attained with this music in particular, and while each of its parts, like the drum breaks and the pitched-up vocal samples, play their own integral roles, you usually can't beat the pads that get purposely deployed on these tunes in order to induce a natural feeling of warmth and comfort. Breakbeat hardcore would end up branching off in different directions, including both jungle and drum n bass, but the much more typically ravey genre of happy hardcore would take its synth stylings and those pitched-up vocals and then combine them with cartoonishly bouncy and pummeling, high-BPM four-on-the-floor drums that I usually can't find a way to stomach myself 😵.

So what I'm basically saying here is that we need to get back to the basics and immediately enter our breakbeat hardcore revival era right at this very moment. It's great to see people appreciating jungle again, with breakcore becoming a big, new thing in recent years, but we actually need to go back just a little bit further than that and bring those raw and flooding synth pads back into the mix too, because I swear to you that breakbeat-based dance music excels like no other when those pads get utilized 😌. It's a formula that was cracked very early on, and people really need to be cracking it once again—without going down another utterly insane happy hardcore route—because folks really don't know what they've missed and what they're currently missing too.

Highlights:

CD2:

A Sides - "Into Existance" Area 39 - "Twisted Brain (Area 78 Mix)" Area 39 - "Sparkling (Aphrodite Remix)" Bust Ad - "Attack" Citadel of Kaos - "Earthquake (Remix)" Citadel of Kaos - "Jacobs Ladder (The 1st Chapter)"

[radiotransylvania]

5 Seasonal Things To Watch In November

There’s plenty of great media to watch in October and even more for December, but what about the month in between? If you’re looking for some great seasonal content to watch in November and aren’t a fan of Thanksgiving, check out these movies, miniseries, and TV specials:

The Adventures Of Ichabod And Mr. Toad (1949)

This underrated Disney movie is probably best known for being the source material for the beloved dark ride Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. It’s basically a double feature, with two separate literary adaptations linked by a bit of narration and some library footage. The first half is The Wind In The Willows, which tells the story of Mr. Toad and his motormania. It’s got fun antics, sneaky weasels, and charming as hell animation. There’s also a part at the end where it’s Christmas for a bit. It’s not a huge part of the plot tbh, but it feels like enough of a nod to earn its place on the list. The second half of the film is The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow which is obviously the spooky part of this one. It also contains “The Headless Horseman” a criminally overlooked Disney song sung by Bing Crosby (though if you want to hear my favourite cover, you’ll have to seek out the Thurl Ravenscroft version).

Over The Garden Wall (2014)

This is Tumblr, so y’all know this one but I’m going to talk about it anyway. While it’s spooky throughout, I put this one in the “transition” category because I don’t necessarily associate it with Halloween so much as I think of it as quintessentially autumnal. The visuals of the woods transition from falling leaves to snow-covered, barren trees throughout the course of the episodes, so I feel like works nicely as November viewing. Also the whole thing is just fantastic, from the turn-of-the-century style music to the gorgeous backgrounds. The visuals and audio are each great enough to stand out on their own, but put together they create a truly magical experience. Even though I didn’t see this one until after I had graduated college, it’s so timeless that part of me just feels like it’s been around forever.

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

You all knew this one was coming. “Tim Burton’s” classic tale (neither written nor directed by Tim Burton) of what happens when Halloween and Christmas collide. A lot of great Danny Elfman songs that don’t fit neatly into the “Christmas Song” box or the “Halloween Song” box (I don’t want to put “Kidnap The Sandy Claws” on my Halloween playlist because it’s not the time of year I want to be thinking about Santa yet, but it’s too dark to go on my Christmas playlist. On the other hand, I would find it totally reasonable for someone else to put it on either playlist for themselves) and visuals that have fun with mixing the two holidays together.

Anna And The Apocalypse (2017)

The only live-action entry on the list and the only one that’s not family-friendly. This British Christmas zombie musical is about a horrific apocalypse that just happens to coincide with the holidays. This leads to a lot of fun gory Christmas imagery, like a zombie in a snowman costume getting decapitated and Anna using a large candy cane decoration with a spike at the bottom as weapon against the undead. It also has a bunch of catchy songs: some that work for Halloween (”Soldier At War”), some that work for Christmas (”It’s That Time Of Year”) and some that aren’t seasonal but are really fun to sing (”Turning My Life Around”). There’s a lot of blood. There’s a lot of tinsel. It’s a good time! (For the audience, I mean. The characters do NOT have a good time).

Halloween Is Grinch Night (1977) & How The Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)

Rather than a single piece of media, this last one is a recommendation for two specials you can watch as a double feature. While How The Grinch Stole Christmas is a well-known classic, Halloween Is Grinch Night is fairly obscure. Is some of that because of the difference in quality between the two? Probably. But I would argue that Grinch Night is still definitely worth watching. It’s written by Seuss himself, it has some weird and wonderful songs, and it contains this iconic exchange:

Since Boris Karloff was dead by the time it was made, the Grinch is voiced by Hans Conried instead. Conried is best known as the voice actor for Captain Hook (and Mr. Darling) in Disney’s Peter Pan. He puts his cartoon villain skills to good use here, having fun with being a delightfully nasty Grinch. Grinch Night can be considered a prequel to How The Grinch Stole Christmas (as long as you come up with some sort of headcanon for what happened to Max in-between) so the two work well as a back-to-back viewing experience.

This has been a text post version of this vlog:

If you love Halloween songs like “The Headless Horseman” and “This Is Halloween,” check out the Radio Transylvania podcast! You can find it on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you get podcasts, or follow me here, where I post when each episode comes up and share other spooky content.

[yogaadvise]

How Sitting with Heartbreak Helped Me Heal

Joe Mieloch initially discovered meditation-the Buddhist kind, anyway-in 1993, a year prior to his divorce.

He was 40 years of ages, juggling a day job in design, graduate school during the night, an effective band that he kept up his better half on the weekends, as well as two young sons.

' I was in a transitional duration in my spiritual and moral life,' he recalls. Increased in a conventional Polish Catholic home, he had actually practiced reflective petition because youth, however as he puts it, 'I didn't feel that I was placing my understanding into the functional realm-my partnerships, my activities.'

' I took a business course on the relationship in between religious beliefs as well as business societies around the globe. That was the very first time that I read regarding Buddhism, as well as it right away struck home within me. There wasn't a new deity to praise. One did not require to toss away one's past, but might incorporate it right into the new technique.'

He saw an ad for Zen Mountain Abbey in a neighborhood paper and made a decision to attempt it out: 'I opted for an initial weekend at their monastery in the Catskills Mountains. I actually appreciated it and also when I returned I started meditating-or as it is stated in the Zen practice, 'resting'- mainly irregularly.'

' The fundamental strategy is entering into a strong, sittinged position (a chair is great too), breathing and also counting each breath-one, in-two out, etc, up until you get to 10. If you have actually a thought of something-anything-you ended up being conscious of it, recognize it, as well as return to counting. It's often surprising how difficult it is to obtain to '2' or 'three' prior to something turns up.'

Something large did come up-but not during reflection. Later that year, his other half informed him she was seeing someone else.

What complied with was a blur of shock, anger, sadness, complication, and self-pity. Regardless of his discomfort, Joe made time to practice meditation. 'Through reflection one intends to see feats even more plainly as well as honestly, although not necessarily much more easily,' he clarifies. 'My method had not been as mature as it is now, but it aided me gain access to the undersurfaces of myself-even if somewhat erratically. I had much less skill in refining my rage, and also became part of some interactions shall we say, unproductively.' He doesn't remember the precise minute when his point of view began to alter, however he does bear in mind that reflection helped open up area for the quality he was looking for. He hung out sitting with the Zen precepts-which 'typically aren't commandments, even more like guidelines,' he claims. The ones he concentrated on most?

' See the excellence, do not speak of others' errors as well as faults.'

' Recognize self and various other as one, do not elevate the self as well as blame others.'

' Actualize harmony, do not be upset.'

Doing his best to honor these principles, he considered his very own activities thoroughly. 'It's usually said that there is no distinction between exactly what you do as well as just what occurs to you. There was an intricate dynamic that resulted in the breakup. As well as I belonged to it. My activities belonged of it. That realization was a big component of releasing my anger.'

When he reflects on how his technique impacted his actions throughout this hard duration, there is one memory particularly that stands apart: 'We were having a great deal of back and forth in the lawful area, speaking about dividing all the money-typically it's 50-50. Another one of the principles is to provide generously, and not be holding back. So one day as I'm overlooking the spreadsheet, I said allow's just divide it 40-60. And also she was type of blown away. We had a deal right there, which conserved us both a whole lot of time and heartache. Without my practice, I could have hung on to getting 'my fair share' due to the fact that I was harming. But I was able to release and claim all right, this is just what I need to do. I'm unsure I was doing it consciously at the time, but it did appear of my practice.'

At first, meditation did not come naturally. 'I was physically uneasy and squirmy. Sitting still and also concentrating on my breath was hard, and somewhat I appreciated allowing my mind roam rather of counting my breath.' Progressively, he hired solace in resting a lot more frequently and, with method, has came to be more experienced at simultaneously counting breaths as well as developing awareness: 'I exercise examining ideas without judging them, attempt to see the emotion independently from the event, after that allow go as well as resume the counting.' Songs is an additional path to reflection. 'Art technique,' as it's called at Zen Mountain Abbey, is among 8 concrete ways to pursue spiritual course. 'I'm a musician-a drummer-and songs assists me share the inexpressible and also promotes self-questioning,' he explains.

About a year after his split, he fulfilled his currently other half, as well as though he calls his relationship with her 'recovery per se,' it wasn't something he jumped right into rapidly. 'At the beginning of our relationship I was very conscious regarding where the relationship was mosting likely to go. I wanted to make certain that I would not be hurtful in any type of method. We were very cautious regarding creating a relationship. I was still refining the means in which I was hurtful to my initial spouse and also I really did not wish to duplicate that.' Today, they have actually been happily married for 16 years as well as have an 8-year-old kid together.

Along with time, songs, and love, reflection has actually plainly been a crucial resource of recovery and also development for Joe, but he is quick to clarify that meditation in itself isn't really necessarily a solution. 'It's not such as, well, I had this infection and also I took this medicine and the infection improved. It's done in the context of one's life. It is the process of creating area for understanding, openess, and clearness, not necessarily much less pain.'

' I obtained separated over 20 years back and had simply begun meditating. As I have continuouslied practice, I have actually discovered that mediation was vital, however it was fed by mindfulness in my daily life. If I really felt that I was 'stuck' in my meditation experience, I found out that I frequently had to show on my exactly how I was living my life, and just how I was connecting to others.'

' A popular quote from the wonderful 13th Century Zen Master Dogen Zenji about meditation is, 'To research the means is to examine the self. To research the self is to fail to remember the self. To fail to remember the self is to be enlightened by all feats of deep space," he states. 'That is what I aim to practice.'

In 2006, Joe transformed into a formal Zen pupil in the Mountains & Rivers Order, and also in 2013 he took the Buddhist Precepts-a serious commitment that requires a minimum of two years of training-in a public event called Jukai. While some 60-year-olds may be thinking about retirement, he's busy as ever before, working and aiming to keep up with his 8-year old child. He likewise participates in several weeklong meditation retreats every year and meditates for Thirty Minutes in his house virtually everyday. Also so, he bewares to explain that he is just a trainee, not a teacher.

' Simply to allow you know we're all newbies,' he says.

[oneweekoneband]

A 1985 - 1997 Survey Of Low-To-No BPM Dinosaur Jr., Pt 2

Dinosaur Jr, “Sludgefeast”

Pardon the intermission and welcome to the home stretch of back-loading the week with Dino Jr (and related) spotlights. This entry is my second parsing of the slower, balladry-type material that seemed to occupy about ⅕ to ⅙ of each full-length released during the timeframe noted above. We will also be hearing J. Mascis other approach to vocals; a falsetto that REALLY brought the Neil Young comparisons, initially to his chagrin (though “Cortez the Killer” made it into a set way back in 1986 and the latest incarnation covered it several times in 2015).

However, this does not apply to “Sludgefeast” and “Tarpit” (from You’re Living All Over Me), which I meant to include in the last entry...before it got too long. Carrying them over to this one does, however, allow for a good opportunity to touch on the huge disparity between the production/fidelity of the Homestead/SST era and the subsequent major label material of the 90s, from which I culled the strikingly beautiful “Not The Same” and epic, emotional scorched-earth devastator that is “Alone”. Prior to immersing myself in Dinosaur Jr. on behalf of this week’s writings, I held a position of indifference when it came to how the major label records sounded. I might have even basked in the widescreen hugeness of something like “Alone”, whereas at the moment I consider it one of the handful of instances where the higher-than-high fidelity of Mach II might actually work. But I could use some dirtying up of the more rocked-out and heavy songs of that period. Or rather, the ones that I can stomach in the first place, which hints at another opinion that has changed over the week but I’m clearly in danger of taking too many off ramps away from the overarching theme at hand, so let’s get into these four songs.

“Sludgefeast” (album version from 1987’s You’re Living All Over Me) - Surely everyone can move beyond the dumbass title of this song...I mean, it was 1987 and this was written by a 20-year-old. I challenge readers to find me another band or song from the late-80s that marries Black Sabbath/Candlemass/Trouble/St. Vitus doom-metal and an almost cringe-worthy but endearing love-song-from-a-distance fuzziness. This is one of the micro ways that the macro-groundbreaking You’re Living All Over Me stood totally alone upon release. And yes, I’ve included this song despite the thrash-metal-stumbles-through-a-dark-room ending/fade-out.

“Tarpit” (album version from 1987’s You’re Living All Over Me) - Another silly title, but hey, that’s how the sublime rolls sometimes. This song trades the crawling metal of “Sludgefeast” for a more understated but hairy strum…then the blanket of dense guitar noise that covers the last minute-and-a-half. Also...Mascis, especially during this era, had two distinct approaches to lyrics. “Sludgefeast” is his “directly addressing the subject” or “singing at the girl” or whatever one wants to call it. This song, on the other hand, shows his tendency to address of sing in the voice of a bedraggled little critter or ugly-but-sweethearted quasi-troll whatnot, of which he seemingly possessed an imaginary stable (though they are additionally realized throughout the band’s video and visual history).

“Not The Same” (album version from 1993’s Where You Been?) - One of the many songs that came back to me like an emotional brick-to-the-head after having fallen through the cracks for many years. Preceding album Green Mind had “Flying Cloud”, but as merely an attempt at this type of lush, Murph-free somewhat psychedelic balladry, it’s barely north of filler. That is so, so, so not the case with this song. “Not The Same” is the best early predictor of Mascis’ 2011 album, Several Shades of Why (Sub Pop), a work I consider to be the apex (so far) of his solo career. Like this song, and just as I stated above, it is strikingly beautiful. “Not The Same” has never been performed live by Dinosaur Jr. or Mascis himself.

“Alone” (album version from 1997’s Hand It Over) - Epic, unfuckwithable centerpiece of Dinosaur Jr.’s final album of the 90s, the unjustly overlooked Hand It Over. Seriously, how many fucking guitar tracks are on this thing? Anyway...is this worth ten minutes of your day? I’m leaning towards “yes”. The song made into a few ‘97 sets when the band was touring in support of its parent album, but it is a frequent if not static part of Mascis’ solo live sets.

[scheduledfor1fall]

Royal Rumble 1993 Review

Hello, everyone. After a (very) prolonged absence from the blog, I’ve finally decided to go back to reviewing some old WWE Network content, continuing from where I left off in 1993. I’ll be sticking with the more accessible, shorter reviews of matches, with an addition of personal star ratings. I should note that given the various styles of wrestling out there, even those seen in WWE, there really isn’t meant to be a thorough consistency to my ratings across all matches. For instance, I may genuinely enjoy Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit from the 2003 Royal Rumble more than I would Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio from Halloween Havoc 1997, and still give them both 5 stars. Ratings, in my mind, are not only subjective to an individual’s tastes, but also relative to the match. It may seem like my ratings are more similar in style to someone like Roger Ebert, who made no secret that his 4 star rated movie reviews were relative to the movie itself, rather than Dave Meltzer, who I believe rated Omega vs. Okada from WrestleKingdom 6 stars due to his belief that rating it 5 stars would be equivalent to saying the match was on par with a match like John Cena vs. CM Punk from Money in the Bank 2011. With all that out of the way, let’s get on with the review of the 1993 Royal Rumble!

��Right of the bat, we start with a shot the crowd, live in Sacramento, California, and are welcomed by Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon. I’m very grateful they stuck with these two for PPV commentary, as opposed to the peanut gallery on Raw. Out come the Beverly Brothers to signal our opening contest, and my god, do they have some of the most gaudy purple capes I’ve ever seen in my life. Out next are the Steiner Brothers, and, as always, I get a chuckle out of seeing a young Scott Steiner. I’ve got to say, if nothing else, the Big Poppa Pump look definitely made him look like more of a standout attraction.

 RICK AND SCOTT STEINER DEF. BLAKE AND BEAU BEVERLY BY PINFALL VIA FRANKENSTEINER:

 Not a blowaway match or anything like that. Just a perfectly decent showcase match for the Steiners, who did a great job of playing both dominant faces and faces in peril. The Beverlys did a perfectly good job of playing the underhanded heels, and this made for a fine start to the show. I should also note that after the match, they did a replay entitled “The Brain Scan,” which came off as a really low-rent John Madden analysis by Heenan, complete with some of the worst chalk marking you’ll see this side of a hopscotch game. I mean, it was funny, but not something I’d probably put on PPV. ** 1/2 stars.

 We go to a video package detailing Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty’s history with each other, starting from their time as the Rockers, to the infamous Barbershop segment, all the way to Jannetty’s return, which sees him accidentally break a mirror over Sherri’s head. Sherri comes out first to a pretty lukewarm reaction. You’d think people would feel more sympathy for a woman who had a fucking mirror broken over her skull. She’ll be in a neutral corner for this match. Out next is Marty Jannetty, to the old Rockers song. Shawn’s out next to the so bad it’s good version of “Sexy Boy,” as sung by Sherri. I’d be remiss if I did not point out the powder blue strap Michaels has on the IC title. Better than yellow, I suppose, but still pretty icky.

 SHAWN MICHAELS DEF. MARTY JANNETTY BY PINFALL VIA HIGH HEEL SHOT AND SWEET CHIN MUSIC TO RETAIN THE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE:

 Really good stuff here. The story of the match was Michaels working over the injured left shoulder of Jannetty, until the tides turned once Sherri slapped Michaels across the face. From there Jannetty kept throwing different moves Michaels’ way, with Michaels kicking out of each one. The finish came when Michaels elbowed the referee, allowing Sherri to intervene once again, attempting to hit Michaels with her heel while Jannetty restrained him with a full nelson. Cue Michaels ducking the hit, much like he did with the mirror, followed by a Sweet Chin Music for the win. These two would go on to have better matches than this one, and obviously Shawn’s best days were yet to come at this point. But for a follow-up match to an angle filmed a year prior, this holds up as a pretty fun match. *** 3/4 stars.

 After the match, we see Mean Gene try to interview a distraught Sherri, which includes him shouting at her “Damn it! Sherri, you are hysterical!” The more I see of Mean Gene, the less I see him as a kind uncle type, and more of a drunk, mad at the world uncle type. Michaels shows up to confront Sherri, but is attacked by Jannetty from behind, causing a pull-apart fight between the two. What was the immediate follow-up to this, you may wonder? If you guessed “Jannetty gets fired due to drug/alcohol problems,” give yourself a pat on the back, because that is exactly what happened. Supposedly, he was released due to rumors stating that he was under the influence during the match. Jannetty for his part blames Michaels for starting the rumor, while an Observer from the time points out that Jannetty had been on probation for an arrest the month prior, making the decision to fire him easier. In any case, this would not be the last match between these two, nor would it be the last time Jannetty was fired shortly after his return.

 We cut to Heenan and Monsoon doing their “belligerent old men arguing at a family reunion” routine over what we’ve just seen, and then to the next entrance, as Bam Bam Bigelow comes out. Out next is Big Boss Man, as we get ready for our clash of the hosses here.

 BAM BAM BIGELOW DEF. BIG BOSS MAN BY PINFALL VIA DIVING HEADBUTT.

 On paper, this match sounds rather promising. Many people are aware of how gifted Bam Bam Bigelow was as an athlete, and Big Boss Man is probably just a notch below him in terms of talented big men in the business. Unfortunately, whatever expectations I had were dashed by this match. For one, Boss Man did not look like he was at his physical best here. Just in the way he moved and sold, it seemed like he was probably a bit out of shape at this point. At one point, Boss Man landed on the outside, supposedly hurting his back, which lead to several segments of heat based around Bam Bam working over Boss Man’s back with various holds and headbutts. These parts of the match were really dull, and unfortunately made up a good chunk of the match. At another point in their careers, this match may have been slightly better, but Boss Man was just not at his peak here, and it lead to a dull affair. * 1/4.

 We get a clip of Razor Ramon attacking Owen Hart backstage, leading up to his WWF Title match against Bret Hart here tonight. We then get an interview from the previous night from him, during which he promises to add Bret’s gold to his own collection, referring to his jewelry. Amusingly, there’s a Kings game going on in the background, as this was recorded in the arena the day before. A quick Google search shows that they beat my Minnesota Timberwolves that day. God, does it suck to try and follow basketball as a Minnesotan. We get the introductions as Ramon comes out to some impressive heat. We then get an interview with Mean Gene talking to Bret. Bret promises to defend his family’s honor and make Razor pay for what he’s done. Bret’s out next to a pretty big reaction. They show Stu and Helen Hart at ringside, and I kind of wonder how many times the WWF flew them out for these shows. Guess we’ll see as we progress through the years.

 BRET HART DEF. RAZOR RAMON BY SUBMISSION VIA SHARPSHOOTER TO RETAIN THE WWF TITLE:

 Fun, well-paced match here, that saw Razor work over the ribcage of Bret and overpower him with his height advantage, while Bret tried to wear him down, culminating in an awesome exchange which saw Bret go for an unsuccessful Victory Roll type move, only to turn it into the Sharpshooter for the win. Probably not really on the level of some of Hall’s best matches, and certainly not Bret’s, but a fun, often overlooked title match nonetheless. *** 1/2.

 Cut to Bobby Heenan standing in front of a black curtain, preparing to unveil Narcissus to the world. I hate to sound like a dick, but every time Heenan says “Narcissus,” his lisp seems to render it “Narthiththith,” which I found to be kind of amusing. Anyway, the curtain is cast aside, and we get… Lex Luger! Luger basically does the Chris Masters kneeling routine, before posing in front of a huge tri-mirror, all while Heenan gives him a pep talk. Heenan name drops Mr. Perfect, before Luger cuts a promo about how he plans to make the other wrestlers bow down to him, including Mr. Perfect. This Narcissist gimmick is pretty much death, and the crowd seemed to agree, as they made very little noise during this segment, even when his name was revealed. I could make a joke here about Vince McMahon or the WBF, but I’ll take the high road on this and just say that this boring, shambling segment could be a sign of things to come with Luger down the road.

 Howard Finkel introduces “Caesar and Cleopatra,” a tie-in to the upcoming Wrestlemania IX PPV at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. Boy, wait until we get to that one. The Caesar guy invites us to join them at Wrestlemania, and reminds us that the Rumble winner will get a shot at Bret Hart for the WWF Championship at Wrestlemania IX. The guy was actually not that bad, but Jesus, did this come off as corny. Back to Howard Finkel, as we get our first entrant, Ric Flair! Heenan reminds us that Flair had won the Rumble the previous year by coming in at #3. #2 is Bob Backlund, to a very tepid reaction.

 YOKOZUNA WON THE 1993 ROYAL RUMBLE TO EARN A WWF CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH AT WRESTLEMANIA IX:

 Some quick notes throughout the match:

-Backlund ended up setting the longevity record at 1 Hour, 1 Minute, and 10 Seconds, a record that stood until I believe 2004, when Chris Benoit broke it en route to winning the match. At first, Backlund came off like an antiquated, goofy old babyface, especially compared to Ric Flair, with whom he started the match. As time went on, however, the crowd seemed to be genuinely behind Backlund, cheering every time he escaped elimination, and booing loudly when he was eliminated near the end of the Rumble. Backlund’s success as a babyface in this era was dubious at best, but he deserves a lot of credit for getting a reaction despite lying there most of the match.

-Jerry Lawler made what I believe was his in-ring debut in the WWF by entering this match at #7. He would eliminate Max Moon, before being eliminated himself by Mr. Perfect.

-Genichiro Tenryu, who had wrestled at Wrestlemania VII, and was the owner of SWS, a Japanese wrestling promotion which would occasionally co-promote with WWF, made the first of his two Royal Rumble appearances here.

-Giant Gonzalez, best known for his insane height of 7’7, debuted here, eliminating The Undertaker, despite not being a participant in the Rumble himself. I suppose this was a pretty par for the course mid 90’s “Undertaker feuds with and slays the giant” feud starter, but it came off as pretty silly, thanks in part to Gonzalez’s stupid air-brushed muscle and hair bodysuit. I’m not saying he should have been put in a loincloth or anything like that, but was there anything wrong with the athletic shorts he wore in WCW? Why the hair? Why any of this?

-Carlos Colon, the father of Carlito and Primo, as well as the uncle of Epico, appeared here, and, yes, Gorilla Monsoon did indeed refer to him as a “youngster.” Seeing as Colon was approaching 45 by this point, I would assume Monsoon was being facetious, but WWE.Com also refers to him as a youngster in the description of a clip of him in the Rumble. I suppose compared to Monsoon himself, or even the work of Michelangelo, Carlos Colon probably would qualify as a youngster.

-The finish saw Yokozuna missing a running splash into the corner on Savage, causing him to fall. Savage then followed up with an elbow drop before inexplicably going for a pinfall on Yoko. Yoko then tossed him over the top rope to win the match and become the first man to earn a shot at the WWF Champion at Wrestlemania by virtue of winning the Rumble. Caesar and Cleopatra returned to congratulate Yoko, and I honestly think it would’ve been funny if he just leg-dropped Caesar right there.

 Though it accomplished the task of making Yokozuna look like a world-beater deserving of the main event at Wrestlemania, this had to be one of the dullest Rumbles I can recall seeing. A lot of laying around, goofy characters and relatively unknown guest stars made for a pretty hit and miss match. I’m not really sure I can give this a star rating, but it would probably be on the lower end of the spectrum if I had to.

 OVERALL THOUGHTS:

It’s tough for me to dismiss this entire show. After all, both title matches delivered in their own ways, and the opener was decent enough. But as a whole, the show felt like just a very middle of the road production; nothing to condemn too harshly, but nothing that I can really stand up and say “go out of your way to see this immediately.” As good as Michaels vs. Jannetty was, they’ve truthfully had better matches, and there are certainly better Bret Hart matches from this time. Overall, if you’re going through and watching every Royal Rumble, or every show from 93 like I am, it’s not all that bad. But for casual viewing purposes, this would probably be a show worth skipping.

 That’s it for now. Next time, we’ll delve into the first Raw review on the blog in over a year and a half. Will it be enjoyable? Will the build to Wrestlemania continue? Who will win the loser leaves town match- Mr. Perfect or Ric Flair? Will Rob Bartlett be an annoying dipshit? Stick around to find out the answers to these questions, and many more.