#anyway I'll post more about the concert when I'm back home and out of this hell hole that is France

[paulic]

Just saw Paul live. I travelled to Paris with a concussion and a black eye, and then my new 900$ phone got stolen and I don't know a word of French and I had to email my bank to cancel my credit card so the thief wouldn't be able to pay with my phone. I have like 30 quid in my wallet, I didn't even have the ticket to the concert because it was digital, I didn't know how to get to the arena or to my Air BnB (where my laptop was – without wifi). I had nothing but a dream, one might say. And it fucking worked guys I saw that motherfucker live and to be completely fucking honest with you it was worth all the trouble and the money but don't tell anyone I said that

[redishflavor]

if you saw the other one no you didn't

someone's John dory ask got eaten and I can't find my previous draft on it 😔

A/N -> I'll be starting school soon again so I won't be able to write as many fanfics as right now, but still send it requests! I just won't be able to publish them as fast as before 😅

but anyways (this is way longer than my last one damn)

John dory x reader headcanons

okay let's get one thing straight

this man has been in the wild for over idk how many years

he probably is secretly touch starved

and he's probably really bad at flirting

let's say this is after the events of TBT, so he's back in society again (probably)

hes bumped into you a few times and during those few times it was just some small talk here and there

but then when he bumped into you again he decided to flirt

with a terrible pick up line

after he said that he gave a look that was like "Yep, still got it"

he does not got it

you just looked at him, looked away and snorted

he thinks it's working

it might be

without him asking, you gave him your number on a peice of paper

there was a small not under the number (yall choose idk what to put) with a small heart at the end

(ur stinky but funny ❤️) (I sorry I had to😭😭)

he didn't read the note, he js put it on his wall in a frame

he was the first to text you

just a simple "Hi this is John dory"

and you know how some people type something but not send it?

he did that

"PLEASE PLEASE DATE ME 🙏🙏" then he deleted it to respond 'normally' to your text

after a few weeks of talking to each other you were the first to ask if he wanted to go on a date

he probably has never responded so fast to someone on his life

I js had to add this but he probably lost his other glove bc Rhonda ate it

anyways back on track

the first date you two went on was at a small Cafe (idk I panicked😭)

you two talked about a hunch of stuff but then settled on the topic of bands

one of your favorite band was BroZone

his eyes visibly lit up at the word BroZone

asks a bunch on questions like "who's your favorite band member" or "what's you favorite song"

takes his SWEET TIME telling you he's THE John Dory from BroZone

so many questions from both him and you

but after that date he offers to walk you home

and that's also how he got your address

a few more dates later he's the one to make the first move

a small text saying to meet him up at the Cafe they had their first date in

hes already there looking a bit flustered

after you two sit down he asks if you want to date

and that's how yall start dating (I am so sleepy rn guys)

every now and then he would send small gifts to you like flowers, candies, anything that reminds him of you at almost any store he goes to

he likes compliments, both giving and receiving them

when he's spending the day at your place he likes to cuddle with you

or hold you in any way

hug, hand holding, any touch basically

LOVES when you kiss him

like pepper him with kisses and he's melting

grab a bucket and mop he's gone

when he first introduced you to his brothers they had many questions

when Poppy met you (probably through Branch)

you two both bonded over dating a member of brozone

as you and Poppy were fangirling over them JD just looked at you lovingly

like he almost forgot his brothers were there

he loves you too much

he also gets you free tickets and backstage passes to every single one of BroZone's concerts

you've never missed a single concert

and you have way to much merch (mostly JD's merch) (and it's signed with his signature)

I think I might end it here bc I'm running out of ideas and any longer to post this would end up taking longer to post because school starts in like 2 says for me 😭😭 anyways I hope this was good for whoever asked this and again so sorry I lost your ask! I hope you have a great day/night!!

[luvvvivii]

"i love you" — l.fl

pairing - idol!felix x gn!reader

genre - fluff, imagine

wc - 705

warnings - not proofread (surprise surprise), a bunch of pet names used (my love, angel, dear), lmk if more

a/n - I'm back suckas!!! 😋 enjoy this small felix post whilst I start to get back into the groove of writing (also abt the writing, times next to the date is in readers time zone)

synopsis - in which your idol boyfriend sends you voice notes whilst he's away

02.16.23 — 1:05 am

"good morning dear. actually, I think it's night for you right now? you better be asleep, alright? haha, it feels odd not being able to speak to each other how we usually would, doesn't it? but I guess this is what idol life is like? *chuckle* anyways, how was your day? did you do anything fun today? I hope you're eating good as well…I might head out for a bit with chan, so I'll talk with you later? sweet dreams angel. I love you!"

02.17.23 — 6:37 pm

"hey yn, you're asleep right? this is usually when you have your evening naps. don't be taking an all nighter again after this, though. I know you really like that show but sleep is important too you know? *chuckle*...today is day one of our concert in melbourne. I'm back in australia after so long, and I'm super excited! it's a shame I can't be here with you right now, but at least I can still update you and stuff. I can't wait to meet even more stays—oh, that's minho calling. sorry yn, got to go. I'll update you all about it after! enjoy the rest of your night, I love you."

02.18.23 — 12:53 pm

"hey dear, have you eaten yet? sorry I couldn't send any voice notes this morning, I woke up late and had to rush. day two of our concert was amazing! oh gosh, I wish you were here. hey, I don't think I told you about the dream I had last night, did I? well, we were just about to head to sydney for our tour there, and then suddenly you gave us a surprise visit! that's pretty much it, I woke up after that. haha, it seemed so real I even looked around for you whilst I was still half awake! *sigh* well, I think I'm going to go to sleep now, sorry for such a boring voice note today. have a good day, I love you angel."

02.20.23 — 3:31 pm

"yn, I'm so tired. but I can't go to sleep. *laugh* I was on my phone and got completely carried away, and now it's two am!...I think I might just start yapping about something with you, like how we always do when neither of us can sleep. that's what always helps me get tired…not that I'm saying you're boring! *chuckle* what I'm trying to say is…I just feel so at ease when I know that you're listening to me talk…let's not get depressed now, haha. how is your day going dear? doing anything fun today? make sure to send pictures, I haven't been able to see your pretty face in a while. you know, I think I might head off now, starting to feel a bit drowsy. we've got day one in sydney tomorrow, so I'll probably talk to you about it all later. goodnight my love, I love you to the moon and back."

02.21.23 — 2:01 am

"yn! it's finally day one in sydney! ah, I really wish you were here right now. you'll be cheering me on from back at home, right? I know you'll be looking for videos after the concert haha. make sure to have fun today angel! and I'll make sure to pour my heart and soul into the performances for you, like I always do. sorry for this voice note being so short, but I've got to go. I love you!"

02.22.23 — 3:19am

"sydney day 2! ah, you really don't understand how overwhelming this experience is, yn. this is absolutely crazy, but I've probably already said this a ton, right? *laugh*...you know, I hope one day we can travel to australia together, and I could show you all my favourite places to go and things to do from when I was a kid. but that's saved for the future! just wait a bit longer, my love, I'll be back home faster than you can believe. and cheer me on today as well, alright! I'll do the same for you dear. I've got to go now, an exciting concert ahead. I love you."

©@luvvvivii all rights reserved | do not repost or translate

[drinkyourvillainjuice]

Character Q&A - Mallory & Wil - June '24

Hey peoples!

Over on Patreon, members can submit questions for poll-winning characters to answer in-character. The current hotseat belongs to Mal and Wil simultaneously. Since the answers are public, I figured why not post them here too. Enjoy!

For Mal:

Q: Mal, is there a look you feel the most comfortable in?

A: Sorta? It's more like, there's a range I prefer staying inside. I don't like being too tall or too short, I like keeping the toned bod. I'd have glasses a lot more if they weren't a pain in the ass with a mask. Usually prefer not being too masc or fem, but that depends. It's a comfort thing. Oh, and I don't like changing ethnicity. I dunno how to explain it but it feels, like... yeah I dunno. Lying isn't usually a problem for me but that kinda deceit makes me feel not okay.

Q: When did you first discover you could do what you do?

A: I was like nine or ten and I was screwing around in the kitchen. I think I was trying to microwave dirt or something? I was a little shit when I was a kid. Anyway I picked up my toasty dirt and my hand kind of just melted and I'm freaking out and thinking I invented acid dirt. Luckily mom was there and ran in and she kinda knew what to do, so I put my hand back together and started changing skin colours. Red, blue, orange, all kinds. Then I got grounded for microwaving dirt.

Q: What's your idea of a good date?

A: Hm, good question. I like to switch things up, but I'd rather be doing like, an activity. I get kinda restless with sitdown stuff like dinner or going to the movies. Would rather curl up at home if we're gonna watch something. But yeah, like, going to the club, dancing, just doing things in each other's company, and if we can go home and cuddle or uh, more, afterward, then even better. I mean that's not essential, touch is just a thing for me.

Q: What do you think of the new members?

A: Teddie needs to lighten up. I know his power is a shitty hand, but the grouchy act gets kinda old when you're trying to work as a team. Kay's fun, though if she sticks with this career she's either gonna wise up or she's gonna get burned hard. Still, it's nice having someone around who gets gender stuff. I like Wil but I don't think he's cut out for this line of work. Just a feeling. Guilty conscious, you know?

[MC] is interesting. 'lil bit of a wildcard. Definitely holding a lot back, but who isn't? There are deep wounds there, and I mean deep. I dunno. People with nothing to lose are dangerous, and I doubt [MC] has much.

Q: What kind of movies / TV shows do you like?

A: I'm an unrepentant lover of trash. Give me shitty reality TV and direct to DVD movies. Musicals, too. Just, uh, hope you don't mind hearing all the songs over and over the next few days cause I'll be singing them nonstop.

Q: Did you ever think of being an actor?

A: Nah, not for me. Only two things I ever wanted to be. Still working on those.

For Wil:

Q: Wil, what's your idea of a good date?

A: A good date's one where everyone enjoyed themselves. The actual activity could be almost anything. I love taking people to concerts, though. Not big ones, I'm talking the kind that you get at a bar or maybe a smallish performance centre. There's just something special about it.

Q: What do you think of the group?

A: I don't like that Dion kept things quiet until we'd already committed ourselves. I'm all for giving the government a big fuck you, but Dion held it back on purpose. Makes it harder to trust him. The group as a whole is alright, I guess. Get along okay with everyone. Little surreal to have coworkers and friends as a villain. Hanging out with buddies in downtime isn't something I ever pictured villains doing, you know?

[MC] worries me a bit. There's this... haunted air, and that doesn't happen out of nowhere. I kind of hope there's something I can do to help.

Q: What music do you listen to?

A: K-pop and country.

*cracks up*

Okay, that was a lie. Yeah, I'm absolutely predictable. I like punk and metal, bit of alt rock. I have a pipe organ album, too.

...what?

Q: How did you meet Teddie and Kay?

A: We were all younger. Their powers were both already a thing, mine weren't. They used to hang out a lot in this one neighourhood next to the Parks which is basically the Parks minus one percent, and I happened to work at a coffee place there. They came in now and then, got the impression they couldn't really afford it very often. Exchanged a few words here and there, hadn't really met them until they staggered in one day all bloody and bruised. I guess I was the nearest person they vaguely thought they could trust?

Anyway that's how I wound up getting introductions while fixing Teddie's broken nose.

[dumplingsjinson]

Okay. So. Um.

YEAH.

IDK. FUCK. WHAT IN THE SHIT JUST HAPPENED? I'm apparently not single anymore.

Let's just get on with it-

First stop: Photobooth. Nothing much happened here. (Gonna post the photo on my Insta story; asked him for his permission and he was like "That's fine.")

Second stop: Shopping centre. This was where things got a little interesting. We visited the Lego store his friend works at. Cat guy introduced me to his friend and him to me, and they started talking... And then his friend mentioned the BLACKPINK concert and how he missed it and that piqued my interest, and we started talking about the concert and everything, and then we go on talking about the TWICE concert as well. We were hitting it off quite well lolol. During all of that, cat guy was standing there like "Hello? Wtf?", all left out and shit (I feel so bad for that, but I was so excited to meet another BLACKPINK fan at the time kwjfewf.) Anyway, at one point, cat guy was like, "Okay, we're leaving. We'll come back soon."

(Spoiler: we don't go back. LMFAO.) We go to get lunch, walk around the shopping centre a bit... Then head straight to the car park. Thing is, the Lego shop was in like... Plain sight. I was waiting for him to take us back there, but he ignored it and we go to his car instead. I brought it up with him (once we were on the road), being all like, "Oh, weren't we supposed to go back for your friend at the Lego store?" and he was all like, "Oh, I forgot about that. We can go back next time".

SOOOOOOOOOO.

Me thinks someone's JEALOUS LKFNENWKF, but I could be wrong. Idk. I'm bad at reading signs. But he did seem a bit miffed when I was talking so animatedly to his friend about the concerts, sooo... Yeah.

We go back to his home.

(BTW, FINALLY MET HIS CAT. Mission accomplished!! And oh my God, she's the CUTEST THING EVER. She's so much smaller than I thought she would be and looked so soft and SFLKNWEKLFN I think I like his cat more than him AHAHAHA. (That's a joke btw, please don't cancel me-))

Stayed in his living room for a bit, then went up to his room to cuddle... And I'm there like, "Oh God. Do I talk to him now? Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I'll chicken out." My heart was beating out of my chest, and I started getting in my head again, and he was asking me if everything was okay because I was moving around a lot (I was stressed tf out lmfao) so I was like "Okay fuck it, we need to talk to him whether we want to or not" so I'm like, "So... There is something I wanna talk about with you."

And... The talk happened. I asked him where his head's at; where he sees this going. I told him I liked how things are progressing, and I wanna see how things continue to go with us. I told him I didn't want to rush things, though, and that I wanted to take it slow (mainly because I didn't want to put pressure on him, since I didn't know if he wanted more when I was asking those questions). And amidst all of that, I... End up confessing to him.

Straight up out here being like "I... Really like you. I don't think I've ever liked anyone this much before." Spilling my guts out and baring my soul to him while hiding my face in his pillow and tacking on an "I'm so fucking embarrassed" at the end of my longwinded gut spilling session, while he was laughing and shit lweknflkewnf.

And God. At one point during the talk, he was like "I thought we were way past this point a long time ago" or some shit like that, and now I'm like... So he had the belief we've been a thing for quite a while I was here stressing the fuck out? Granted, he did update his Hinge profile, which lead us to having this talk a lot sooner than I thought we would in the first place, but at the same time, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt for that one. Maybe he wanted to look for friends, and I'm solely basing that on one of the components of his Hinge profile, which I will not be showing lol. I didn't want to bring that up and look like I'm overanalysing everything, so I'm putting that past me lol. Done stressing about it.

(I paused all of my accounts when we parted and will probably casually tell him about it when we meet up next lol.)

Anyway, after that mfing mess of a confession, we cuddled some more. And then I was like... "Wait, so what are we?" because I'll be honest, I was still confused where we were at and wanted to clarify if we were exclusive (I didn't want to overthink it again and wanted clear answers), and he was straight up like:

"We're officially dating."

SO YEAH. AAHAHHAHAHHA.

Literally went from "I don't wanna rush into things and want to take things slow and see where this goes" to "We're together now, you dense piece of turd" in like less than 10 fucking minutes.

We cuddled even more, I'm telling him how much I like him, and he told me he likes me, too... And then it led into me being all vulnerable and shit (disgusting, right? How dare I-) and basically apologising to him for not messaging him a lot these days. I told him that I get really in my head when I like someone, and I feel like if I message them too much, I'm gonna annoy them. I told him I want to update him on trivial shit. I want to tell him things. But I end up holding myself back because I don't want to be overbearing. I told him I end up overthinking things and that leads me to not sending anything. I told him, "I don't want you thinking I'm uninterested, because I am. I like you a lot. Like fuck, I think about you a bit too much sometimes, you know?"

SO YEAH. JESUS. I think I deserve a medal for this courage lmao.

He ended up reassuring me and was like, "You can message me any time. Tell me about your day. I like when you do that, and I'll message you back when I can." (He reassured me again later on during the date, telling me how I can message him whenever, so that was really sweet of him.) So yeah... I promised him I'd spam him with Instagram reels, and also warned him about how I talk a lot over text, that's how I'm like with my friend, he's got a huge storm coming, and he was like, "And that's fine."

At one point, his sister's corgi (also the cutest thing ever) came into the room and came straight for me HAHA (I asked him if the corgi ever came into his room before and he was like "It's the first time this has happened" so I'm pretty sure it's because my monthly visitor was here and the corgi sensed that, which was why it came to me and didn't seem to want to leave me alone for at least 15-20 minutes. I read somewhere that's what cat and dogs do). It also peed on the floor so uh... Rip his carpet. 💀

Anyway, the corgi finally leaves, we get more cuddles in.

And UH. I guess it got a little steamy here? He was like... Kissing my neck and everything (prior to this, he was kissing my face and stroking my hair and all of the stuff he did during the last date) and AHAHAHA, when he stopped, I was all like "I like it when you kiss my neck" and this man... This man.

He took that as a sign (as he should) and kissed my neck even more, to the point where I thought he'd leave marks on my skin lmfao. Pulled the collar of my shirt back (I wasn't even wearing a turtle neck sweater this time so he was going DEEP lmao) AND AHAHA, when I say I was encouraging this behaviour by making all of these sweet little noises. I was sighing and moaning a little AND HE WAS TURNED ON BY THAT, LET ME TELL YOU THAT MUCH. (If him sporting something down there wasn't a sign-)

I was also holding onto the nape of his neck and everything; running my fingers through his hair; pulling him closer to me and tilting my head back for easier access and just letting whatever noise I wanted to make naturally fall out of my mouth and yeah... That definitely spurred him on. Had him all pressed up against me lmao.

(Fanfics have me LEARNING things.)

Tbh, I was lowkey worried he'd leave a mark there since he was just... Yeah, but he didn't so thank God. (But also, a part of me lowkey kinda wanted him to though ngl WELKFNEWKLNF, even though I'd have to hide it from my parents somehow lmao.

And well yeah, he was just being very affectionate like the last time, and held me so close to him and kept calling me cute (literally would not stop and I'd deny it and he'd be like "no, you're cute") and sweet and soft and saying I smelled good and wionlkwnef AHHHH I'M GONNA SCREAM. We kissed (cute lil pecks, just how I fucking love it) and all o' that.

We're about to leave for dinner, the corgi is circling me again and his dad had to step in and take the corgi before it left the house with me, because it kept following me around lmaooo. Kept sniffing my shoe and was preventing me from putting it on, so I was struggling for a hot minute, while cat guy just watched me struggle lmfao.

After dinner, I'm thinking we'd go back to his place (that was the plan) but his friend called and was like "Please come to the concert, we have a free ticket because our other friend couldn't make it" (that friend had called him about the concert before we went out for dinner and cat guy declined at first lol) so we ended up having to cut the date short so he could go to the concert because his friend really wanted him to go. He dropped me off and I hugged and kissed him before leaving BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE WHO ARE OFFICIALLY DATING DO, RIGHT?? WELKENEKLWFN.

IDK YOU TELL ME, DAMN.

So yeah. When I got on the train, he informed me that his friend's brother took his phone and said brother couldn't find his friend. That friend had his ticket, so he needed to come out to take cat guy into the venue... And he never came out (and apparently never replied to cat guy until after the concert) so that was a bit shitty. Cat guy ended up leaving after standing around outside, waiting for his friend.

So the date was cut short because of this guy, and I was lowkey saurrr disappointed because I though I could spend at least a few more hours with him before going home :((

SO YEAH. WHAT THE FUCK, MATE??

But yeah, basically that's what happened. And while driving me to the station to drop me off, he asked me when I was free next so... We'll be seeing each other pretty soon (in a little bit over a week or so?) so that makes up for it AHAH.

He messaged me and was like "We could've hung out a little bit longer :///" and "This entire thing made me so frustrated on the drive back home" welkfnewknf My poor guy :((((

So uhHHH, your girl is Taken, or some shit like that, idfk. At least I think I am HAHAHAHA, completely skipped the exclusive stage and went straight to "officially dating".

I'll probably stop with the updates lol, unless something significant happens. I'll probably make more prompts, too, but right now I need to sleep lmfao. SAUR TIRED.

(I already miss him and maybe I'll find the courage to tell him that later on, but right now... Nope. Lmfao.)

[twopoppies]

Hi Gina... I need to rant 😠 lmfao

As a life-long Chiefs fan and KC native all I can say is this T*ylor shit is fucking annoying. I know you talk to a LOT of people in the fandom, so you may not remember, but I'm a fellow Sw*ftie hater (maybe that's too harsh but idgaf) and I didn't think it was possible to get more annoyed with this woman than I've been since I stopped being a fan in 2018. Boy, was I WRONG. I'm a die-hard Chiefs fan. I loved my team even when we sucked and couldn't make it to the playoffs (before Patrick Mahomes), so to see EVERYONE make the game on Sunday about her is beyond frustrating. People (Sw*fties) are seriously saying she's the only reason we won. Like we haven't won multiple AFC championships and two Super Bowls in the past three years. Maybe I'm just taking it too seriously, but when our boys played a kick ass game on Sunday after such a shitty season opener (that we lost), it was so nice to see that we're getting our mojo back but I literally can't look at any post, tweet, article, tv segment, etc that doesn't make the game about her.

God, please don't let her be around for the rest of the season 🙏🏻

Also, I'm not saying they're not hooking up, but this is 100% for PR. I've personally never seen them pan to a celebrity so many times during the game. I've never seen "candid" photos of Travis Kelce, Patrick Mahomes, or any of the other popular Chiefs' players leaving Arrowhead Stadium after a game like we just got with Travis & T*ylor, or "candid" photos & videos of any of the popular players driving through the city, which is so sus. And then what really sealed the deal for me was that T*ylor announced earlier today that her concert film will be shown internationally. She was also named as an entertainer of the year for entertainment weekly and is on the cover. Not to mention, she has a new re-recording coming out in a month and continues to announce new versions of the 1989 re-recording. "Someone" must not be happy enough that she's already broke records with the Speak Now sales, is selling the most number of albums overall, but she must be aiming to break those Speak Now records with the 1989 re-recording sales bc she's releasing new versions quite often. I mean, how greedy can one person be. Like you haven't sold enough albums? You don't have enough publicity? You don't have enough money? It's just gross to me.

Also, I personally just found her reactions over the top for someone who isn't even a fan, especially whatever that head shake thing is at the end. But maybe that's just because I find everything she does annoying and cringe.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxmAHqjrACL/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Plus, the stats around Travis and the Chiefs have skyrocketed. So they're absolutely getting a lot out of this as well as the NFL like someone mentioned earlier.

I'll attach an article but here are some numbers:

Travis' jersey sales went up almost 400%

Stubhub ticket sales for Chiefs' home games increased threefold in just 24 hrs

Travis gained 325k new ig followers - more than he gained after winning the last Super Bowl

Sunday's Chiefs' game was the most watched NFL game on any network last week

It was also the most watched game among girls and women 12 to 49 yrs old

https://www.axios.com/2023/09/26/taylor-swift-travis-kelce-merch-sales-up-chiefs-kansas-city

And yes, I know I know a lot about her for someone who doesn't like her. But she's inescapable even when I have muted everything related to her... And now she's taking over my everything related to my favorite football team and my city 🤢 Where's Pete Davidson when you need him? 😂

Ok, sorry for that rant. I know I probably sound ridiculous, but I prefer my life T*ylor free just like I prefer my life Ol*via free, and I thought you might understand 😂 Anyways, feel free not to post if you don't want to discuss her anymore.

I hope you're having a good night, Gina. Lots of love.

She really is a horrendous actress. Everything she did at that game was so embarrassingly fake. But clearly people want to believe it because it’s everywhere.

That’s bananas how much his stats already went up and just shows why it’s worth it to do this kind of nonsense, even to someone who’s already really famous.

I’m not interested in football at all, but I’m so sorry she’s contaminating your safe space. 😩

[crystalsnow95z]

Sickie: Namjoon. Caretaker: ot7

Warning: vomit and anxiety attack

I'm not as happy with this one, but I decided to post it anyway since I put so much work into it

"5,6,7,8.." J-hope counts, the seven men redoing the chorus for idol for the 4th time that day. They have been rehearsing for the past five hours, and a Namjoon kept moving out of sync with the other members, his feet hitting the ground moments after the others.

He wanted rehearsal to end already. He hardly slept last night, and that morning, he woke up with a pounding headache. The medicine he took didn't make much difference. I'm just stressed because this is our last concert for a while. I'll feel better after hearing army cheering. I just need to get through rehearsals.

"RM, you need to move on the beat.." J-hope was in teacher mode, his usual kind smile not in sight. "We have a concert in two days and this is one of our most popular songs."

"I'm sorry, Hobi.. I'll get it this time.." Namjoon bows his head, not wanting to meet J-hope's gaze. Namjoon didn't tell anyone about his pain. They already had enough to worry about without him being added to the list.

J-hope motions for the track to be played again this time from the beginning. Everyone got into position, and Namjoon tried his best to do it correctly and was doing well until it was time for J-hope's rap. The quick movements from them continuously quickly moving from one spot to the next was making him feel nauseous. When he went to bend down, his stomach churned uncomfortably, threatening to make him sick.When he went to wrap an arm around his stomach, he lost his balance and stumbled into J-hope. Both boys ended up on the ground.

The music is cut off, and the other members rush to check on them, Taehyung and Jungkook rushing to Namjoon to help him up. Jimin and seokjin rush to J-hope. Yoongi just watches with worry in his eyes.

"Are you okay, hyung?" Jimin asks, looking from J-hope to Namjoon.

"I'll be fine.. Namjoonie, are you okay?"J-hope rubs his tailbone to try to ease the pain from falling, more concerned about Nsmjoon than himself. When Jungkook and Taehyung helped him to his feet he was unsteady on them, Jungkook not letting go of his waist.

"I got dizzy and lost my balance.." Namjoon admits.

"You've been a little off all day hyung, are you feeling okay?" Taehyung asks him. Namjoon wanted to lie, to say he was just a little dehydrated and would feel better after drinking some water, but the pain was getting worse as time passed and even the soft voices of his concerned members made him feel worse. He just wanted to lay in a dark room until the pain passed.

"I think I got a migraine.." Namjoon admits softly. "I don't think I can continue practice. I'm sorry guys."

"You don't need to be sorry, Hyung.."Taehyung takes off his red cap and puts it on Namjoon, trying to help block some of the light from his eyes.

"You shouldn't feel bad for not feeling well or try hiding it from us. We're a team. Your problems are our problems. We can work them out together." J-hope pushed away the guilt he felt for pushing him so hard that day, giving him a reassuring smile.

Yoongi leaves the group to go get water and ask staff for some medicine, and Jungkook helps Namjoon to go against the wall. Yoongi hands Namjoon the water, holding two pills in his palm. "If these don't help soon, I got someone to take you back home."

"Thanks, Yoongi-hyung.." Namjoon takes a sip of the water, then takes the medicine gratefully.

Taehyung takes a seat next to him. "You can lay down in my lap hyung." He pats his thigh. Namjoon takes up his offer, laying on his back and covering his face with his hat. He felt mildly embarrassed by this, but since Taehyung was always laying in his lap, it was okay to let him return the favor.

Taehyung rubs Namjoon's back, feeling the tension in his body. "Feel better soon, Namjoonie-hyung. I love you." He speaks in a whisper.

Namjoon makes a small finger heart, not wanting to talk. The other members got the message, and the practice room was quiet after that, and Namjoon was thankful. He knew how hard it was for them to be quiet for long. He managed to fall asleep, but it wasn't for long before the pain in his stomach got worse. He pulls his knees to his chest, wishing he took the time to eat that day. He could feel the coffee he drank that morning rise up his throat. He quickly sat up, putting his hand over his mouth. "I..I'm going to be sick.." He mumbled into his hand.

"Jungkook-ah get the waste bin." Taehyung says urgently.

Jungkook quickly gets the waste bin, Namjoon just barely holding it down long enough to wait for him. The sick burns his throat when it comes up, feeling like acid. Jungkook holds his hyung up, Namjoon shaking in his arms. His stomach tightens painfully, retching for what felt like forever, but he had nothing in his stomach left anymore. Seokjin rubs his back. "Try to take deep breaths.."

Namjoon takes deep breaths, the tightness in his body slowly melting, leaving pain behind. He had a side stich in both sides, and his stomach still ached. "I want to go home..." Namjoon hated that his voice came out as a whine.

"I think it's best if we take you to see a doctor.." A female staff member tells him.

"No, no. I don't need a doctor.. I'll be fine after I rest.." Namjoon tells her.

"You should at least get checked out Namjoonie." Seokjin insists.

"We don't want you getting worse.. please?" J-Hope looks at him with worried eyes.

Namjoon notices that all six boys wore the same expression. Taehyung and Jungkook looked at him with big doe eyes, Yoongi looked away as soon as Namjoon looked at him.

"You should just in case." Yoongi told him using a soft tone, and it was enough to make him give in. "Okay, Hyung. I'll go."

"It's just as I thought.. I'm pushing myself too hard, and my body can't take it."Namjoon groans, upset with himself. Staff escorted him home, and he thought maybe a warm bath could help him calm down. He sunk deeper into the water, sighing. Tomorrow we're going to the stadium. I need to be there for sound checks and to learn stage positions. Namjoon shook his head, trying to push the thoughts away. The thought of missing the rehearsal made him feel sick to his stomach.

He sighed in frustration, covering his face with his arm when he felt the pain intensify, making him feel dizzy. He tried a few deep breaths to try to calm his nerves, telling himself in his head it'll all work out. His breath came out in short gasps, and his body was shaking.

He reaches for his phone, checking his messages, and the group chat between his members was full of encouraging words.

Just focus on resting. I can handle things for you. Love you, bro.

Namjoon-hyung feel better soon. Love you.

I love you Namjoonie hyung. Don't worry about us. Just focus on getting better.

Don't forget to eat something before you go to bed. Even if it's something small. Love you.

Namjoon puts the phone back down at the side of the tub, calming himself. I have the best team I could ask for. He finally started to relax, getting out of the bath when he feels himself drifting off.

He tried to blow dry his hair, but it was too loud for him to handle. He opted to towel dry instead and went to his room to lay down. He checks his phone once more, and J-hope sent him a practice video, his spot left empty for him.

Everything is okay here. We'll be coming back after one more run-through. Rest well.

Namjoon felt relieved that the others were coming back soon. Watching the video sent, he could see how exhausted they were, even with them smiling and goofing off in the end. He finally falls asleep despite the pain he felt.

Namjoon hears the bedroom door open and a whisper, but he can't make out the words. He hears someone else whisper back, that person right next to him.

"He hasn't woken up yet.. Last night, when I checked on him, he was running a fever. I think we should go to the stadium without him." It was his roommate Taehyung who whispered back to the visitor.

A fever? I'm not running a fever. I feel better than I did yesterday, just tired with a small headache. If i take some medicine, I'll be fine.. I can't miss rehearsal.. Namjoon emerges from the blanket, looking at his two visitors. His head felt fuzzy at first, but after fully waking up he realized who Taehyung was taking to.

It was Yoongi and Taehyung in his room.

"Hyung, you should take it easy." Taehyung tells him putting a hand on his shoulder to keep him from leaving the bed.

"I feel fine now. I just needed a good rest. How did you get in here anyway?" Namjoon asks, trying to get the subject off of him.

"Ah, I got a staff member to help me.. I slept in here last night.." Taehyung admits. "We wanted to check on you.."

Namjoon was surprised at this. He didn't hear anyone enter the hotel room until now. He looked at the young vocalist, seeing the tiredness on his face. "Did you stay up all night Tae?"

"No, I fell asleep for a couple of hours. Don't worry about me. I struggle to sleep close to a concert anyway." Taehyung had to make sure he didn't add to Namjoons stress. "I just woke up when Yoongi-hyung texted me."

Namjoon looks at Yoongi, who had been quiet the whole time, holding a thermos to his chest. When their eyes met, he quickly looked away, pushing the thermos towards him.

"Is this for me?" Namjoon takes it from him.

"It's tea, to help you relax.." Yoongi tells him nonchalantly, though his cheeks turned the slightest pink.

"Thanks, yoongi-yah.." Namjoon tells him, giving yoongi a soft smile.

"If you really feel well enough, we should go.." Yoongi changes the subject feeling embarrassed. "Don't push yourself too much at practice, though."

The seven boys make it to the stadium, J-hope and Yoongi keeping a close eye on Namjoon. They go the stage first to see how much room they were working with, the stage lights making his headache return.

"It's bigger than I thought it would be." J-Hope says, running to the other side of the stage to meet with a staff member, bowing to them.

"Let's get our in-ears in so we can do a sound check." Namjoon tells the others. He wanted to get through it as quickly as possible.

"Okay, Hobi-Hyung! Namjoonie-hyung wants to go to the dressing room to get ready!" Jimin calls to J-hope, his voice echoing in the empty stadium.

J-hope gives him a thumbs up, and the staff member comes with him, leading the way for them. Namjoon puts a pair of blue in ears, taking his microphone from his bag. The others do the same, putting on their respective colors and placing the mic pack into their back pockets.

The three youngest members run to the stage, and test their mics, saying the first thing that pops in their mind.

"Ah, ah..Jimin mode...!" Jimin says into the mic, making the others laugh.

"Jimin mode.." jungkook mimicks him.

"Jimin mode." J-hope adds in with his own mic after catching up with them. "Did you see my bag Did you see my bag?"

The four boys start dancing to mic drop.

"I hope they don't burn all their energy before we even start rehearsal.." Jin smiles, watching the four of them dance.

"He's king of the mankaes." Namjoon was happy to see Taehyung messing around, ebbing away the guilt that he kept him up all night.

"Ayo ladies and gentlemen." Jungkook changes the song and the other members quickly get into position, using this as a sound check. Namjoon wished he chose a song that didn't have jerky head motions.

"Good job." J-hope praises them. "I'm surprised we did so well after not doing it for a while."

Namjoon smiles at J-hope's praise, but his smile doesn't last long. They have only been there for a half hour, but he was already feeling exhausted.

"Let's go through the set list to decide what songs we will do the full choreography for and which ones we will just sing or just do the chorus choreography." J-hope takes the leader role. Everyone agrees, and they get to work, making suggestions to the lighting, where they should take a break to talk to fans, and when they should make time for wardrobe change.

All the information spun in his head, making him feel dizzy. The members were full of ideas, and he tried to memorize all the changes they made. "I'm going to get some water." He made an excuse to walk away, not wanting the others to notice. He went to the edge of the stage, taking a seat. He closed his eyes, hoping the feeling would go away before the others noticed.

"Are you okay Namjoon-ah?" Jin asks, making Namjoon jump.

"Sorry. I needed to sit for a minute. I landed on my foot wrong during idol." Namjoon wasn't lying, but that pain already subsided.

"You should get it looked at by staff. I'll tell Hobi you go get checked out." Jin frets.

"Alright, I will. Thanks, Hyung." Namjoon saw it as an excuse to get medicine for his headache. He goes to a staff member and tells them about the incident, them taking him to a room to be checked over. The staff member finds a bruise on the side of his foot, which treats with a cold compress. "It's not a bad injury. You should be able to perform tomorrow since we caught it before it started swelling."

"Thank you." Namjoon bows to him. Jimin and Taehyung are looming in the doorway watching.

"I'm fine, guys.. It really doesn't hurt that much, I just wanted to be sure I'd be okay for tomorrow. I'll take medicine just to be sure." Namjoon gives them a smile. The other members don't believe them, but Namjoon motions for the staff to start again.

The rest of the day runs smoothly, using his injury as an excuse to take it easy, only going through the motions to be sure he moves in sync with the others. Even moving slower than the others, it was still taking a toll on his body, his energy drained before they even made it halfway through all the preparations. He was starting to actually believe he was running a fever. He felt chills go down his spine even with being drenched in sweat. I don't have time for this.. He runs his hands through his hair, slicking it back from the sweat that drenched it.

He could feel the others watching him, ready to make him call it quits if he showed any sign of it being too much for him, but he hid his pain well. I'll rest after we get through this. He doesn't make eye contact with them, just pushing through the routines, ignoring the knot forming in his stomach. After a second run-through of the whole performance, including the wardrobe changes, they call it a day, it already being seven at night.

They went into a room where staff had dinner prepared for them, and everyone digs in. Namjoon eats some of the rice and a few pieces of pork, but his stomach gurgled in protest. He gets up slowly to go to the bathroom, knowing full well that his dinner wasn't going to stay down.

"Where are you going?" J-hope asks, seeing that the color drained from his face, ready to follow.

"I just need to use the restroom, you stay and eat," Namjoon speaks leaving the room slowly at first then running when he's a few steps out of the room not even noticing Seokjin following him.

He finds the nearest bathroom, falling to his knees, emptying the contents of his stomach into the porcelain bowl. It didn't burn his throat like last time, but the pain in his sides returned.

He jumps when he feels a hand on his back, relaxing when he hears the voice of the oldest vocalist. "Namjoonie, you should've told us you were still feeling sick. You could've stayed and rested instead of pushing yourself so hard."

Namjoon went to answer, but his body had other plans, continuing its violent attack on him, another round of sick coming up, his body trembling as he struggled to sit up.

"My poor Namjoonie." Seokjin coos, sitting behind Namjoon so he could lean against him when he finished.

Namjoon wasn't much of a cuddler, but he found comfort in being held by Seokjin. "I'm sorry Hyung, I thought I could handle it, I just wanted to get through rehearsals.."

"You don't have to keep trying to be the perfect leader all the time. You can lean on us too, you know. We would've filled you in on what you missed. When some of the members had to miss rehearsals during the Grammys, we still managed to put on a great show didn't we?" Seokjin scolds him gently.

"I know... I won't overdo it next time... I promise.." Namjoon was finally starting to actually feel better, leaning into the gentle touch of Seokjin stroking his hair. "I love you hyung."

"I love you too.. next time you pull a stunt like this, I won't be so nice." Seokjin teases him getting the first real smile out of Namjoon that week. "Let's get you some water and get back to the others."

[blondiehpfan101]

Okay so the reason I didn't get to meet online friends opening night is because of the sketchiest hotel I've ever seen. Don't stay in the EcoLodge in Phoenix on I-17

alright y'all so I tried to get to glendale early with my partner and sisters (my partner and sister drove us from idaho) But we got to somewhere inexpensive we found online and we had the worst experience trying (and then canceling for reasons I'll get to) to stay at a inexpensive place in Phoenix. I'm gonna say now, don't ever stay at the eco lodge on I 17 there. We got there to check in with 2 people in front of us (me, my partner, and 2 sisters (almost 22 and just turned 13) it took over 30 mins to help the 2 in front of us and by that time like 5 other groups/people trying to check in were waiting in line and the place seemed sketchy as fuck. Like poc peeps in line were giving us looks like this is sketchy and my bf at one point was like we gotta watch each others backs. When we got the key to our room, we go to put our stuff down and get ready, and we open the door to other people's shit in this room and percription drugs (like opiods) all out on the bed so that is why we decided to cancel, and trying to cancel took forever but that's not quite the worst part... there was a girl who flew down for the concert from Canada who had the same issue as us but people were IN THE ROOM and she tried to get a different room cause she needed somewhere to get ready and do hair I told her good fucking luck as we left my sisters' and I got ready in a gas station bathroom and did our make up in the car and i was waaaay late like i wanted to meet so many online friends at that show and i missed all of that because that sketchy ass place ALSO hotels were soooo expensive in pheonix/glendale so my partner drove us after the concert up to flagstaff and we stayed the night there (we were driving down from idaho so it was on the way home anyway) also we got the manager's name and number so my bf is crafting the perfect review to call out the manager's BS, because everything about that was awful. So swifties who are here that went to opening night, this is the reason I didn't get to meet y'all, but I've still loved seeing everyone meet I hope y'all liked the pics I did post (I took waaay more but tried to find the best ones) and thanks if you've read this all the way 💞

[grapenehifics]

Chapter 65

(Link)

At this point I'm kind of losing track of what I already said vs. what's in my head, so if I didn't say it, I picture Mr. Plo's shop as Roman Customizing from the 1990's Disney Channel TV show Brotherly Love (which is still very watchable, btw, highly recommend, if I could ever talk myself into writing platonic Obikin I would happily write Obi-Wan as Joe/Satine as Lou, Anakin as awkward middle brother Matt, and Ahsoka as sunny youngest child Andy, with very-much-still-alive Shmi as Anakin and Ahsoka's mom/Obi-Wan's stepmom).

I had a summer job at 14, and do not in fact recommend it. (The job itself was fine, but I look back now and was like, what the fuck was I doing, let 14-year-olds have fun, jesus.)

Obi-Wan's first response, after Ahsoka telling him she got a job, being 'congratulations!' and only *after* that asking which job it was, just tickles me.

Obi-Wan strikes me as a person who would be uncomfortable bringing a private family photo to work and uploading it to his work computer to make it his desktop background, so he printed it out and framed it and set it beside his desk instead, and his actual desktop background is, like, the plain blue screen that comes with Windows when you first plug it in.

Half an hour before my first high school orchestra concert was due to start, my high school boyfriend comes to me with absolute panic in his eyes and tells me he doesn't know how to tie a tie. I didn't either, so I think we fastened it with, like, safety pins and called it good. Afterward I went home though and asked my dad to teach me to tie a tie. (We can discuss, later, about gender roles and expectations, and why didn't my boyfriend go to HIS dad and ask the same thing, because it was his tie in the first place. But I was sixteen, what did I know. Anyway.) So, next concert, I'm like, give me your tie, I'll tie it on me and then hand it back to you. (This is the mental image I was going for with Obi-Wan and Anakin at Anakin and Padme's wedding.) I ended up with a *queue* of teenaged boys all asking me to tie their ties. And I continued to do this! For the next two years! Every performance! High school, man.

Originally I was going to do more with the Anakin/continuing education plotline, but it ended up morphing into Obi-Wan going to a conference (again; I know that already happened once) and that subplot kind of fell by the wayside.

Valley Technical Center is a real place and, last I checked, you could study airplane mechanics there.

Anakin being mad about his bus pass running out of funds and not getting refilled is a callback to chapter one. All the way back to chapter one! I posted that back in July! We were all such different people then!

Now I'm sad we never got a canon scene with Obi-Wan taking Anakin and Ahsoka to Dex's. That would have been fun.

When I used to have cable I swear there was a Golden Girls marathon on every Sunday. Not that I'm complaining, Golden Girls is great, but it was a lot of Golden Girls.

I might as well have put blinking neon lights at the top of this chapter, this is about me being sad about not being able to go to Sunday afternoon Dodger games during the pandemic. (I realize there were more important things to be sad about. But that was on the list, for me.)

Do kids still play with Tinker Toys, or am I dating myself, here? (Or maybe Luke and Leia's daycare still has toys from the 80's.)

This story, in a lot of ways, is meant to be about Anakin realizing that he has had the power to make his life better all along. That's part of the way I read his fall in canon - he's so desperate for love, respect, affection (from Padme, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, the Jedi) that he already has. He just can't see it. In this story, or this part of the story, he's starting to look at his life, realize he's unhappy...and then instead of wallowing in that and making it worse, he starts to take concrete action to make it better. And the journey to that, and learning the tools that lets him do that, is why this story is so fucking long. Ha.

I love the 'parenting by committee' Anakin does for Ahsoka's birthday in this chapter. This isn't meant to be an indictment on his parenting in the slightest - I think it is non-sarcastically great that he puts Obi-Wan in charge of cake and Padme in charge of dinner and himself in charge of taking her to the DMV and Mr. Plo in charge of finding her a loaner car. They all, individually, have enough on their plates. Breaking it up into manageable chunks is the way to go.

That first solo drive after you get your license - Ahsoka uses hers to go see Korkie - it's a great moment. I still remember mine. I drove to the supermarket and bought ice cream. I am a very predictable person.

[mitigatingacademics]

{11.09.2024}

Leaving my house for the first time since I entirely lost faith in humanity; I went to the library book sale yesterday.

These are the books I took to work last night.  

I'm seriously considering not going back to the Chemerinsky book at all. It may only be about 300 pages, but the idea that we're going to be doing anything other than trying to survive for at least the next four years, let alone magically replacing the Constitution with *something better* is so fantastical that it's offensive and my time is worth more than that ridiculousness. 

In the past few days I've slept twice as much as should reasonably be necessary and I'm still tired. 

I've dealt with depression before, but I've never had it hit so hard so suddenly. 

My mother suggested that I just need to 'talk myself out of it.' 

I burst into tears, shouted 'That's the best advice I've ever been given, I can't believe I didn't think of that!' and slammed a door. (I slammed the door specifically because she told me not to. I pay the mortgage. It's my door. I'll slam it if I want to.) So, ...that's going well. 

I feel numb and also as if my nerves are entirely fried. 

It takes a concerted effort not to entirely lose my shit over the smallest thing. 

I usually keep the majority of my politics on Twitter where I engage almost exclusively with folks that I don't know personally.

I'm done playing nice. I've taken it all to Facebook. I've lost at least five "friends" over it, too. 

The example response (middle) to the image on the left is the kind of thing that brought about a post containing the image on the right.

My keep the peace switch has broken ALL of the way off. 

I will no longer offer consideration to folks that they do not offer to others. 

If you are unable to conceptualize that our 'freedoms' ARE political and you think my expression of concern for society due to your inability to care about anyone at all beyond yourself (or even actually understand your own best interests) then you're welcome to see yourself out (it's not an airport, there's no need to announce your departure) -- and I *will* tell you that it isn't the first time this week that the trash has taken itself out. 🤷‍♀️

I did, at one point, suggest that I personally feel that some individuals are unworthy of the work it takes to put on a free and fair election...and some might find that offensive...but you put in a 17 hour day of being nice to and assisting folks only to find out the majority of them voted in a manner that demonstrated a complete lack of respect for the humanity of *several* groups you belong to and see how you feel about it.

I was never actually "friends" with the woman who showed herself before unfriending me, anyway. We became acquainted years ago via a FB game that doesn't even exist anymore. We hardly ever interacted. If I'd previously realized she was the kind of person she so proudly professed herself to be I'd have done her the favor of removing her a long time ago. 🤷‍♀️

Driving home from working the polls, I couldn't help but reflect upon other times when I had worked elections and the results had been, in my opinion, less than ideal. This felt significantly different. It was long before the Presidential race was called, and yet... the offense and disrespect I feel as a woman concerned with decency had taken on a life of its own. 

Immediately upon arriving home I posted a diatribe on FB about my experience that day. 

We had seen approximately 1,500 voters which is a huge amount for that location. There was a line *all* day. ...and even with that many people cycling through, only 3 of them tried to act up. They were all of the same persuasion - you know what I mean, even if you don't like that you know what I mean. Nearly all of the voters were friendly and pleasant. ...to have Ohio called for Trump before we were even released from our duties that evening DID SOMETHING to me. To be called that quickly meant that the vast majority of the folks I'd interacted with that day (as well as their counterparts in other precincts) smiled to my face and then voted against my right to feel safe in our shared society.

It's not a surprise that there are people like that out there, but it's incredibly painful to find them in the majority, especially after all that we have seen in the past few months.

Hours after the Presidential election was called I started writing a letter to my favorite judge. 

This woman, an actual angel, is a Child Protection Court Judge in South Texas. I sent her a Christmas card last year after finding her Zoom court on YouTube. She wrote back offering to serve as a legal field mentor - which, without exaggeration, meant just as much to me as my actual acceptance into law school. 

I'm sure she wasn't *at all* imagining the e-mail I sent her yesterday, which was a three page, single-spaced, 11-point font desperate attempt at stopping a despair spiral and figuring out what the hell happens next. 

I don't have *anyone* else that I think might be able understand what I'm going through right now as far as going from being *so* motivated to suddenly full-stop questioning if studying the rule of law will even be useful in any meaningful way. I keep coming back to wondering if they'll be cutting women's fingers off for reading by the time fall rolls around. 

I expressed to her the irony of being accepted to another law school in the midst of all of this. "Here's $70,000 to study something that won't even exist by the time you get around to using it!" 

...and I don't know anything about this woman's personal politics. I may be wildly out of line here. I'm fairly certain she is in an appointed position and there's absolutely nothing online that indicates her political affiliation. We did exchange RBG stamps, though. So, that's something. 😬🤷‍♀️

She's one of very few bridges I'm still concerned with not burning at this point. It would be somewhat tragic (and hurt my feelings a lot) if she dismisses me as a crazy over this. ...but I'm also kind of 'If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best!' about *everything* right now.

Also not at all about the company that I need to not be myself to keep. 🤷‍♀️

I'm trying to give myself some grace. 

I didn't even take the Constitutional Controversies book to work last night. 

Robespierre came along, but other things took priority. 

I didn't even look at LawHub.

I was working with a Trump supporting colleague who had the nerve to comment on how nice it is that anyone can do anything they want to in this country.

You won't be surprised to find that he's also a white male Elon stan.

He also felt the need to contribute that 180 million (I'm not fact checking his numbers, I honestly don't care) voters 'couldn't be wrong.'

It apparently never occurred to him that something being popular isn't a reflection of its justness. Hitler was popular, too. 🙄

Asking for focus, rationality, AND civility with that going on in the background was just too much.

Liz has been quiet.

With the exception of her (very much expected) Tweet above, there's been absolutely nothing. ...and that's beyond fair. She did everything she could - more than anyone has any right to expect of her, and she deserves a break. 

Since she's clearly *not* going to be Attorney General now, she also needs to figure out what's next.

It's just, selfishly, if you're going to remind me of my duties regarding the Constitution, rule of law, and our institutions...a little guidance on *HOW* we're supposed to do those things would be nice. 😢

Sounds real hard. Like, almost implausible. Send reinforcements.

I have less patience for Democrats like Michigan's Mallory McMorrow who feels entitled to imply that anyone asking any questions about unexpected or unorthodox election results are the equivalent of conspiracy theorists making plans to storm the Capitol. 

Like, for example, it's *interesting* that Democrats won Senate seats in six swing states ALL OF WHICH Kamala lost. Acknowledging this doesn't make you an 'election denier.'

She keeps replying to anyone taking issue with her approach here with a video of a speech she gave following the 2020 election. I recognize that said speech is the most viral she's ever gone, however, Ma'am, this isn't the same thing. ...FFS. 

Same Democrat leaders that had us practically convinced this race was impossible to lose think they can talk down to us now when we're shell shocked and trying to make sense of all the lies we were told by the folks we were supposed to be able to trust.

It's actual bullshit and entirely exhausting.

Ultimately, at least at this point, I feel pretty strongly that I may have worked my last election. 

Whether that be because I'm burnout and disillusioned or because we just don't have elections anymore remains to be seen. 

Coworker says 'he can't see' any way that Trump could do away with elections. ...He also thinks the United Nation's 2030 plan for Sustainable Development is 'the Democrat version' of Project 2025.

When I responded that that interpretation is nearing a level classified as psychotic he said "Democrats like the United Nations."

...this is the electorate.

At this point I don't even know why I'm surprised we are where we are.

[letters-for-leedonghae]

Dear Hae,

Hello! Omg, it's been more than a year again since my last letter to you. I wasn't even able to tell you about the 2-day SS9 that I attended, and that was what my last post was about. Hhhhhh I had such a great time and when I got home to my friend's condo, I just went straight to packing because I have a flight to catch early December 19, so I didn't really have time to actually sit and write something huhuhu (I was in standing on the 2nd day and I've been standing for half a day that day so the exhaustion was really crazy. but definitely worth it!!!!!!) I'll find time next time to reminisce and tell you about it!

Anyway, I'm back here because I'm kinda feeling dejected right now and I just want to tell someone about it, and that someone is you! Haha.

I honestly don't know if I still have a future. I've been applying for different kinds of online jobs for more than a month now and still, nothing. And I am in desperate need of money because I don't want to be a burden to my family anymore. I need money for my medicine and for other stuff that I need, especially when I go back to school in an entirely different place. I need to sustain myself because I really really really don't want to be a burden anymore. The only motivation I have right now is IU's concert this June 1, to be honest. I badly want to see her live before I die that's why I'm really doing everything I can just so I can get the money I needed for that. Super Junior, IU, Day6, Seventeen are the artists that saved me countless times when I was in the darkest, most shittiest place, thus I really want to see you all in this lifetime before the heavens (or hell) decide to take me away.

I am so desperate but at the same time I'm also losing hope. And I don't want to lost hope. Because I really really really need money. I'm scared to lose all the hope that I have left in my body because if that happens, I will probably hit rock bottom again and will probably never recover ever again.

Ah. It's so hard to be poor, lol. Will I ever succeed in this life? Will I ever experience to live my days worry-free? Will I ever earn even just enough money to let myself (and my pets) live? To help my parents in their medical needs? To afford eating out without worrying about the price of the food that we want to eat? To afford treating my family out sometimes? I don't know. But I hope so (and I say this with all the hope left in me).

Hhh. I'm currently listening to your ballad songs while I'm writing this, just to avoid breaking down. See? You're going to save me today once again. I honestly owe my life to you, my favorite artists. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here writing this anymore.

I hope we'll see each other again. If my life allows.

Is it spring already in Korea? If so, I hope you'll have a wonderful and worry-free spring, Ddeohae. Eat a lot, exercise well, work well, live well, and be happy! I love you! Thank you once again ♥

Always with love, Ky.

[a-heart-like-a-sparrow]

February 6th, 2024 - I'm running out of titles

────────────────────────────── Woke up at 1 PM I barely ate Um... ──────────────────────────────

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More lazy days!!!! So I'll just say this:

The Kate Bush songs I listened to today were...

Between a Man and a Woman - from The Sensual World, 1989

Heads We're Dancing - from The Sensual World, 1989

The Saxophone Song - from The Kick Inside, 1978

Prologue - from Aerial, 2005

Reaching Out - from The Sensual World, 1989

The Wedding List - from Never for Ever, 1980

I also listened to "The End" by The Doors at 5 AM. I loved it. But I didn't understand the song at all. I should listen to it more to get it.

That guy, Jim Morrison... is a quite interesting person.

Anyway, I had a good time with my mother today. We watched Bohemian Rhapsody on TV and she left home to attend a concert. I hope she's having a good time. Our musical preferences are rather different, so I didn't go...

I didn't draw. But I will after I finish writing this. In about 5 minutes. I also calculated the chapters I'll read from my book and I'll read 5 chapters everyday until the... 15th? 16th? idk

Oh, and I started the second season of Steven Universe. I'm enjoying it a lot. So you see, calculations work for me. I have to label everything, have dates for unnecessary things. Dumb shit I do.

Whatever. I'll go get my things and start a new drawing. I hope it's better than the last one I did... That one was a total failure. I hate it. Maybe because I actually didn't want to finish it. It's soulless. I don't like when I do soulless drawings. It just makes it worse.

So yeah, that's why I didn't post it and I said back then. But if things go well, I'll share the next one.

We're getting artsy tonight.

lol

Rest well.

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[crushed-starlight]

ok !! yall need so many updates from me aaa i'll try to speedrun them n not give u too much junk to read hehe

the main thing is, today i took a huuuge train ride home from uni !! i was on the road for a super long time but i got tons of reading done :3 but for about a month , i won't be seein any of my uni lore people in person ;; it's gonna be weird for sure since i've spent so much time around them recently, but i think in some cases (ie meadow lol) the distance will be good to help me rly evaluate what i'm getting out of that closeness n whether it's worth it.

plus, i'll get to hang out with my friends from here more too !! theres TONS of interesting stuff goin on with them too, so i'm sure there'll b more of that !!

anyway, here's a mini recap of some stuff that's happened since my last entry !!

i had a big night out with a bunch of people !! my first stop was an indie music night with odie and jiji, then after that down to a queer club night where we met meadow and one of their friends !! we also ran into another classmate who we didn't know was even queer, n he ended up joining us for the night :D

i also ran into a bunch more people i know !! specifically winter and (new character time) wave, who i'll add to the masterlist sooon :3

overall it was super fun n they played a bunch of my favorite songs :3 i love gay people <3

remember how i said 'as per jiji's advice i'm gonna try n keep some distance from meadow'? yeah i for sure did not do that. we explored a retail park n saw a movie on one day, did field work in the city another, n kept walking to class together almost every day !! i am ,, so tired !!

honestly, the crush might be beginning to fade, or just shapeshift into a friendship. i'm becoming more n more aware of potential red flags or just reasons i might not personally want to date them.. mainly, we're just really different in terms of personality. compared to when i'm hanging out with jiji and odie, i just mask around meadow a lot more. i overthink a lot, they tease me over my silly cringe interests n traits (of which there are a lot lol) instead of hyping me up , and i know they don't mean anything of it but i'm tired of being constantly reminded of how Different i am from them ,, and by extension from most people.. ok but wait there was last night .......

we went to a candlelight concert !! to any pair of people other than us, it probably would've been super romantic. what a waste of a perfect night, right? but it was still nice. we dressed up extra pretty, the music was nice, we sat right at the back of a beautiful church and listened to basically a classical music concert. i drank mulled wine in the intermission, there were about 20 christmas trees all decorated and themed after different charities and local organisations. crush thoughts aside, it was a really magical experience for what it cost (15 pounds yippee) :3

but , of course , since i knew that if i got home after that i'd have the most miserable yearning-filled night, i helped set up a pizza party with my flatmates (and odie) instead !! so jiji, comet, and our fourth roommate chipi !! i'm surprised i haven't mentioned him yet, at some point he should get a loredump post of his own since there's a lot to unpack with him lol

anyway the pizza party went great , save for the worlds worst phonecall with the pizza place which i foolishly volunteered to have. that pizza place employee in particular encompasses all the reasons i get anxious about phone calls.. yikes!

ok i think that's everything interesting that's happened so far !! here's to hoping i can have a nice relaxing (but still productive !!) month off. well , aside from the 6 giant essays i need to research and write >< but it's fine, i'll cope :,) bye for now !!

[lostinfantasyworlds]

Hi! First of all, I just wanna say that UNTL is definitely one of my best reads this year. Thank you for sharing that masterpiece.

What should we look forward to next year? Any WIPs?

Omgggg I am so honored sldkfja;sd thank you so so so much 🥺😭 ❤️I just —

I do have a few WIPs and I will give little summaries of each under the cut!! They are in order of when I will most likely finish them)

 Under the Northern Lights post-canon PWP oneshot - I’ve had all kinds of little snippets pop into my head of Inuyasha and Kagome’s lives together within the UTNL universe, and I always write them down. Most of them are smutty because I can’t seem to help myself hahahaha. This one is the most fully-formed idea that I had a few months ago, and wrote down a whole rough draft in my phone. It actually takes place on New Year’s Eve, which is why I was hoping to have finished UTNL well before the end of the year so that I could have posted this follow up oneshot on/around NYE, but OH WELL. It’s mostly just porn anyways, but includes a tiny hint of plot that actually ties in with the epilogue! (you will see a reference to “New Year’s” in the epilogue, so just know that you will eventually be getting to read the whole story 😉)

The First and Last - Modern AU that could either be a long oneshot or a multi-chapter depending on how long it ends up being. Currently it's only about 4.5k words, but still super rough so it could definitely end up being multi-chapter. I'm so excited about this one because childhood-best-friends-to-lovers is one of my all-time favorite tropes (Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable were my first ship before I even knew what shipping was...), and now I'm FINALLY going to have a story of my own using that premise! This story is inspired by the summers I spent as a kid at my grandparent's cottage in Maine. It was in a very tiny coastal town, and was on a quiet street with a few other summer homes, so I would see the same kids every year and we would all hang out. And I may have had a smol crush on one of the boys that I would see each summer😏. So this story is InuKag in a very similar situation!! I love this one and can't wait to share once I go back and fill in all of the middle parts 🥰

Sometime Around Midnight - Modern AU multi-chapter based on  a song of the same name by The Airborne Toxic Event. I actually came up with this as my first multi-chapter AU back in January/February before UTNL randomly forced its way into my brain and took up my entire life for the rest of the year. I'm still really excited about this one, and have a whole elaborate backstory planned out, but am actually really stuck on how I want the plot to go past the initial couple of chapters (which starts off as pretty much just a retelling of the lyrics of the song). It won’t be super long, probably only 3 - 5 chapters, but I really can't decide on an interesting enough way to end it 😆.  I'll figure it out eventually, though!

The Girl at the Rock Show -  Modern AU enemies-to-lovers fic that I wrote for @goshinote’s birthday back in October! I was only able to get it to the point of being a super rough draft (that was still over 6k) by the time of her birthday, but I promised to get back and finish it eventually, which I still plan to do! I debated whether to publish it, since it’s very much written for Jane and her interests with lots of inside jokes/references lol , but I figure I might as well share it because someone else might enjoy too! The basic premise is that Inuyasha and Kagome are both working at a concert venue and do not get along at first. But....✨sexual tension✨is there and so begins a FWB type of situation that of course turns into something more...

A couple of canon-based very short oneshots - I have ideas for little missing scenes I would’ve loved to see in canon every so often, and have a couple of rough drafts written. One is my version of a little follow-up to the almost kiss in TFA episode 18, and the other is a post-canon idea of how InuKag’s first kiss might have happened based on the manga where they never kissed inside the jewel! Both are short and sweet and very fluffy. I started off with most of my ideas being canon-based, so I like to return to that as kind of my bread and butter after writing a lot of AU. I just love love love Inuyasha and Kagome’s dynamic in canon, and I consider it a fun challenge to write within that world and keep them as in character as possible!

Apart and Together (very tentative title, pls ignore lol) - This is actually the first fic I ever started writing after finishing the series! It is basically just my ideas of what might’ve happened during the 3 year separation, and how their reunion would have gone. It’s actually already like 20k words hahaha, but I started it so long ago when I knew nothing about writing, and have shifted my views on certain things, so it will require a lot of editing/restructuring to get it finished. Eventually!

Untitled Multi-Chapter epic-style long fic based on Darling in the Franxx - Post-apocalypse AU where demons (led by Naraku) have taken over the world and humans are forced to live in small areas under constant attack. Inuyasha and Kagome (and others) are paired up on a mission to gather fragments of the Shikon Jewel, in an effort to stop Naraku from getting them first. They don’t get along at all at first, but learn to trust and rely on each other over time, although they grew up as part of a selection of kids that were raised to be soldiers so they don’t know much about humanity/love/etc. Also there is a twist! The premise is loosely based on the anime Darling in the Franxx, minus the sexual robot stuff hahaha. This will probably take me forever to write tbh. I have a loose idea of the plot, but nothing really written so far. I want to write the entire thing before posting, so it might not end up getting posted next year but we'll see!

That is ALL of my WIPs that have actually been fleshed out into full story ideas! I have a handful of random scenes jotted down in my phone that could potentially become stories if I thought about them a little more, but I don’t like to have too many open WIPs at once, so I’ll try and get a few of those out before trying to come up with anything else.

Thank you SO SO much for this question, and for your support of UTNL! It means the world ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[canaryatlaw]

okay, well today was fine. woke up at 7 and went to work, legs still a bit unstable but got there okay. the work day was fine, not super busy but okay. I had a motion hearing at 11 that I had some witnesses for that I had to coordinate, but that ended up going well and we won so I was pleased with that (half convinced I'm gonna get a bitchy email from the other side at some point lol but we'll see). we didn't have a whole lot of interns so we couldn't do too many clinic cases. I'll be glad when our summer interns start at the end of the month so we can go back to our busy clinic days. I ended up ducking out a bit early (just like 20 minutes or so) since we didn't have anything to do. Ubered home because legs were not great still. when I got home I called my mom, because it's her birthday. this morning I saw my aunt had posted a video on fb of her and my cousin coming to surprise my mom (she lives in NC when my mom's in NY) and I ended up getting kind of upset over it because if I had known they were coming I would've gone to visit them this week too so I could see everyone, as I had initially been considering coming this week anyway (and I mean my mom didn't know so it's not like she could've told me) but I just felt sad about the whole thing and ended up crying a bit after the call, which I felt bad about because I felt like I should just be happy for her, but I couldn't help but feel left out and sad that I wasn't there with them. It just feels like spending time with my family is so hard now without my dad there, it just feels like a chore honestly and I really, really hate that?? because I don't want it to be like that at all, and I just feel like with my aunt and cousin there it would be a lot more fun because it always is when they're around and not be so depressing. so yeah, I was upset. I was going to cook, but roommate saw I was upset and ordered us korean instead lol. so we had a chill night from there. Watched our girls performance from queendom of course and holy shit!!! We'd seen the leaked footage from tiktok so we knew what was coming but it was still so satisfying to see, they fucking destroyed the stage and I'm so happy for them, they really deserve it after all the disappointment they've had to deal with on the show this far. we have the kcon concert tomorrow, so we'll have to wait until Saturday to watch the full episode. but yeah, chill night just doing the usual. Eventually I showered and got ready for bed, and now I'm here and ready to sleep. Office again tomorrow to end the week. And yeah, gonna go to bed now. Goodnight friends. Happy Friday.

[theji]

How I Fell Into the Fandom

After skulking around tumblr for months, I finally decided to pen down my thoughts even though no one will read these. In a way it's like a record for me, to jot down my feelings and thoughts on Yizhan. Maybe one day I'll look back and marvel at my own obsession 🙃.

It all started when a compilation on Boy's Love dramas popped up on my YouTube feed one day and I clicked on it out of curiosity. I remember seeing some Thai or Taiwanese series in the list but didn't take much notice. All of a sudden a Chinese period drama popped up. I was intrigued cos I never knew there were BL themes in period dramas, let alone in a China production where censorship is rife. I looked in the comments, found out it was called The Untamed, did some Googling and found the premise interesting (soul mates solving convulated mystery 😅). Just nice it's on Netflix so...I ended up binge watching all 50 episodes under 2 weeks.

I like to think of it this way: if WWX was love at first sight for me, then my love for XZ is one that grew stronger with time. As for YB, that love is one that came with deeper understanding.

After watching the drama, naturally I looked up the actors. I remember watching some interview - no particular feelings at that time, just 2 nice looking dudes who kept saying 'wow'. As I watched more interviews and bts and concerts, gradually they grew on me, especially XZ (who doesn't love him). They were fun to watch and had superb chemistry, it was somewhat mesmerising. I was also looking up more of XZ's content, his songs etc, learning more and more about this gorgeous man with the gentle soul and resilient streak.

At the same time I was also watching videos and reading up on The Untamed analysis cos that show has alot going on. One day there was a video on my YouTube feed that was about the dreaded 2/27 incident and how YB had a role in it. It came across malicious; the comments section was worse. I didn't quite believe it cos GGDD looked so harmonious in the bts and interview clips. No way Yb would backstab XZ.

I started digging more; at the same time I read up more about YB. Poor baby had a tough history - leaving home at a young age, training in Korea, getting splashed with paint in Thailand, receiving hate comments, his band activities halted in China etc.. The more I understood him, the more I felt for him.

I loved GG first..for DD, it was more admiration. Both of them are outstanding and hardworking and special. I remember the moment I really fell in love with DD. It was this year's Weibo Night. Him in that matte black suit and the haircut. THE HAIR. Looking hella fine, DD! He was so cute that night, he stole my heart completely.

Anyway to cut things short, I love both of them now. GG was my bias from the beginning. Maybe he still is, right now maybe it's GG:DD 55:45 😝

I have had some suspicions on whether they are SZD during my research period but it was only when I stumbled upon tumblr that I truly fell into the fandom. Loving every moment of it now and supporting GGDD with the community brings me much joy and hope.

I'm firmly on the BJYXSZD camp now. Maybe I'll do up a post next on why..

Ending off with one of my favourite looks of GG. He looks good 99% of the time. 💗 GGDD with small animals just melt my heart.