#anyway I’m so fucking cute and totally not a wreck and a drag to be around

[robo-nya]

My dream hoodie finally got delivered. There’s cat-like ears on the hood too :3

[heisenho]

Karl x Fem!Reader that also has the ability to bend metal and being his little apprentice. Like they go from mentoring to lovers?

Power

[Karl Heisenberg x Fem!Reader]

Warnings: 18+, MINORS DNI! Good ol' pussy eatin', Karl being a bit of a dick, just normal re8 stuff.

A/N: This was so fun to write, i do hope you like it! Thanks so much for this request! This is more... uh reader loathing karl and then letting him mentor her, and then they become lovers. i hope that is okay dfijffnwfjw

“Fuck!” You screamed out, stomping your foot. “Why can’t I just live with Lady Dimitrescu?”

You were growing angry. Rage boiled inside of you. You let out a loud, shrill scream and slammed your foot against the metal you were supposed to be moving around with your fucking mind.

“Shit!”

Another yell. You grabbed your foot and fell to the ground, rolling in the dirt for a minute.

“Get the fuck up.”

You stopped your rolling and your eyes shot towards Heisenberg. You stood up and glared at him. You crossed your arms and stepped closer to him.

“Girl,” Heisenberg growled, “You do not wanna do that.”

When you were first sent to live with Heisenberg, you were sure it was going to be hell, he was terrifying. But now, it was hell because he was being bossy.

“You’re lucky I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. Otherwise... You’d be-”

“What? What would I be?

Your arms fell to your sides, your fingers digging into your palms. You screamed again and turned to stomp away from Heisenberg. His jacket rustled and you ignored it, thinking he was probably going to fuck around with his powers just to show off.

Show off, he did.

A piece of metal came flying towards your legs and wrapped around your shins, knocking you to the ground. A scared noise fell from your lips and you scratched at the ground, trying your best to stop whatever was happening. Once it registered that you were not about to get away, you let yourself slide towards Heisenberg.

The metal around your legs began to pull you upwards and you tensed. You truly had not expected to start fucking floating. The metal tightened as your moved higher into the air, thankfully Heisenberg seemed to not want to drop you.

“Oh, if only there were a way you could escape this.”

You swung your arm out and let out a strangled, stressed scream as he caught it. “Karl, let me down right now!”

Blood was starting to rush to your head. Heisenberg was deadpan, watching you struggle. He didn’t look comfortable, but he also was letting it happen. As you were leaning up, pulling at the metal, Heisenberg reached up to you, the metal falling and you dropping into his arms.

He quickly set you down and began to walk back to his factory. “C’mon, we’ll try again tomorrow.”

You looked down at the metal and tried your best, really giving it your all, and moved your hand outward, towards it, but nothing happened.

“Karl,” you let out a soft whine, “I can’t do this.”

Karl came up from behind and sighed. You knew for sure he was about to pull some more bullshit, so you tensed. Karl’s face dropped, his eyes softening, but you couldn’t quite see that. You could, however, hear Karl sigh.

“We’re gonna try something different.” Karl stepped behind you and your body only tensed even more.

Karl placed his gloved hand on your bicep and slid it down your arm, causing your breath to catch in your throat. “Focus on the metal,” he brought your hand upwards and uncurled your fingers, which were digging into your palm. “Just think about moving it, it’ll come naturally.”

You nodded and relaxed into him, “Okay.”

Suddenly the metal moved. You gasped and practically ripped away from Karl, your excitement bubbling over. You turned and looked at him with wide eyes.

“I did it!”

“Told ya it wasn’t hard.”

You huffed at him, “You literally dragged me around the dirt yesterday, sir! Do not go talking about this bein’ easy!”

Karl snorted, “Whatever, girl,” his eyes rolled behind his sunglasses. “Now, we can get to the actual training.”

You stood across from Karl, in the scrapyard, your fingers twitching at your sides. You were finally getting good at whatever the hell Miranda had “blessed” you with, and Karl was taking training up a notch.

The metal began to float around you causing you to feel a little anxiety. You brought your arms up, palms facing Karl, and you pushed some of the metal back towards him. As you did that, he snapped his fingers, effortlessly causing a piece of metal to fly at you. A short whine escaped you as it scraped your cheek.

Warmth ran down your cheek. Blood.

“Not fair!”

“Life isn’t fair, Kitten,” Karl smirked.

You blinked, and your hands fell down to your sides. Your entire body tensed and without even thinking, you caused the metal to shift around you. Every single piece, even the ones near Karl, hit the ground. Hard.

“That’a girl!”

Karl walked towards you and smiled proudly. Your stomach twisted and you swallowed hard. Something about that pet name, and the way he said it... He had your stomach in knots. You gave him a nervous smile and nodded.

“Thanks. I totally meant to do that.”

Karl laughed, “Let’s go inside, I think that’s enough for today. Anyway,” Karl brought his gloved hand to your cheek, “You’re bleeding. You need to clean that up.”

Without thinking, you swatted him away and leaned back from him. Karl, unbeknownst to you, was not a fan of that reaction. His face dropped, slightly, before he gave you a cocky grin once more.

The both of you walked in, and you knew you were going to have to deal with your new feelings, one way or another.

It had been about a week since ‘the incident’ and you could not get the way he called you ‘kitten’ out of your head. He hadn’t said it since, he had barely gotten close to you unless he was training with you, and even then he kept his distance.

You had to find a way to relieve stress and you had to find one soon. Being a desperate woman, you decided, when there was a family meeting, you were going to find one of Alcina’s daughters and ask her for help.

And you did just that.

“Daniela,” You pulled her to the side and prayed that Karl wouldn’t find you, “I need help.”

“Ooooh~” She let out a laugh, or what you could only assume was a laugh, “what does the newest member of the family need?”

“Please keep quiet, this is important to keep between us, and only us.”

“Of course,” she grabbed your shoulder and smiled at you.

‘Maybe she’s trying to make me feel less scared?’ You thought. “Anyway...” You tried to shrug her hand away, “Look, do you ladies have any... toys. Just, like, around the castle?”

“Toys?” Daniela cocked her head, “I didn’t think you wanted to play with men?”

Your eyes widened, “No! Sex toys!” You hissed at her.

Her eyes lit up, “Oh! Of course. Follow me, my cute little pet.”

And just like that, you were completely set up to relieve your stress.

Finding a secluded area was not the easiest. So many of Karl’s little experiments wandered around. But once you found it, you were ecstatic.

You were sprawled out on a small pallet you had made. You had surrounded yourself with some metal, a barrier between you and the creatures that could find you. Keeping it up was becoming a hassle, especially once you started feeling immense pleasure.

You had been messing around with yourself for a good half of the day. You had somehow convinced Karl to let you wander off and not work that day. He said he had things he needed to tend to, and let you go off on your own.

You were taking breaks in between sessions, but nothing was like the real thing. The vibrations of the toy were sending shockwaves through your body. You were getting close to the edge, toes curling, eyes rolling back, and body tensing. And, unlike all your other orgasms, you let out a loud whimper.

“Hey, girl-” Karl called out, obviously looking for you.

“Karl-” You moaned out, not registering Karl’s voice.

Something had come over you, you were completely wrecked by the thought of Karl having his way with you. To the point where you called out for him. And he most definitely heard you.

The metal dropped around you and you, suddenly, you were forced to face Karl. Once and for all. A scream ripped from your throat and you closed your legs, pulling your large, button up shirt, over your knees.

“Fuck!” You yelled, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t-”

“Damn,” Karl, being the extreme gentleman he was, noticed you weren’t entirely comfortable and covered his eyes. “If you needed some help you could have asked.”

“Karl!” You shouted throwing the sex toy to the side. Face burning, body trembling, mind filled with pure embarrassment, you just sat on the floor, “Shut up!”

Suddenly, you realized what he said. Your jaw dropped and your arms, that were wrapped around your legs, tensed.

“Last chance,” Karl smirked, eyes still hidden, “you obviously need-”

“Okay.”

That was all he needed to hear. His hand dropped from his face and he stalked towards you. Without a word, Karl leaned down, picked you, and tossed you over his shoulder. Letting out a small gasp, you hung down his back. One of his hands held you steady while the other rested on your ass.

The both of you reached his ‘room’, just an area with a mattress on the ground not as many experiments around. Karl placed you down on the mattress and leaned over you, he peeked over his sunglasses at you.

“You have no clue how long I’ve wanted this.”

Heisenberg’s mouth was the shell of your ear, his breath causing your body to react in the best way possible. He pulled back and stared you down, like a predator ready to devour their prey. Your knees knocked together and you were looking up at Heisenberg with big doe eyes. His large calloused hand grabbed one of your knees and he pulled your legs apart, gently.

“I was wondering where that shirt went...”

“Well, maybe if you had more shirts you wouldn’t have noticed.”

Karl chuckled, a rumble coming from his chest, and you felt like you had made some type of mistake, “Are you sure you wanna get that tone with me, kitten?”

“Yes...” It sounded more like a question than an answer, but the confidence was almost there.

“How are you so bratty, yet so cute?” Karl positioned himself between your legs.

You shrugged, unable to find words to say. Your brain was malfunctioning at the worst time. You had thought about this moment, even dreamed of it, and now there you sat, looking like some deer in headlights. You were vulnerable and so small compared to him.

“You sure you’re up for this, kitten? You’re looking a little-”

“I’m good!” Your voice cracked, “You have no clue how much I’ve wanted this- you. I just kinda thought you... hated me.”

Karl cocked his head at you, “How? You’re fucking amazing. I thought you hated me, the way you tensed when we were training... I just assumed you were afraid.”

“Karl,” you spoke so calmly, as if you weren’t almost naked and completely vulnerable under him, “as I said before, you dragged me through the dirt with metal...”

“That was just tough love,” Karl smirked down at you, before his facial features softened, “I can make it up to you?”

You nodded, wondering what he had in mind.

“Lean back,” he moved down, positioning himself between your legs, his body keeping your legs from closing.

You complied of course, and leaned back for him. Your back hit the mattress and you let out a shaky sigh. Karl began to softly kiss up your thigh, his large hands pulling your legs further apart. Your hands gripped at the bare mattress below you and you arched into Karl’s mouth.

Once he reached your cunt, you let out a soft moan, waiting for more. One of Karl’s hands gripped at your hip, while the other pulled your shirt up further. His hand quickly moved from your shirt and to your bare ass.

“I promise, I’ll be gentle,” Karl murmured right before his tongue licked a stripe up your pussy.

You gasped. God, it was everything you had imagined, and better. His tongue quickly found your clit and he sucked at it, briefly, before getting back to your pussy.

You let out a soft hum of pleasure, your hands knocking his hat off and grabbing at his hair. You pulled at it and Karl immediately stopped.

“Girl,” his chest rumbled, and his eyes snapped up at you, “I don’t think you’re prepared for what that brings.”

You couldn’t answer, you were genuinely too in the moment to register anything but your own pleasure. And you were getting close to cumming. Your back arched, and your toes curled, once his lips met your throbbing pussy again.

“Karl,” your voice was loud, but not loud enough.

“Kitten, who’s making you feel this good?”

“You- You are!”

Your feet jerked, pulling you up on your tiptoes, and your back curved, causing your hips to push into Karl, letting his tongue go deeper.

“Karl! I’m- I’m gonna-” You were cut off, everything becoming too much.

You gasped loudly and the entire factory shifted and groaned. Your eyes screwed shut and your entire body tensed under him. Karl did not slow. You felt the metal around you beginning to move.

Your eyes snapped open, just in time for you to witness the metal starting to come to life around the two of you. You fell, your back colliding with the mattress once more, and the metal fell back down. The factory stopped creaking, the only noise now being your loud panting.

“Damn, girlie,” Karl brought his face up to yours, “you’re more powerful than I thought...”

Karl gave you a kiss, and you quickly deepened it. Your arms wrapped around his neck and held himself above you. Your legs wrapped around his waist and you softly mewled beneath him. Reluctantly, Karl pulled away and pressed his forehead to yours.

“How about-” he paused, thinking about his wording, “how about we take this shit over? Fuck everyone else. Me and you, kitten, that’s all that matters.”

You quickly answered, unsure if it was the fact he just ate your pussy, the love you felt for him, or your genuine hate for Mother Miranda. Or all of the above, “How about we fuck first? The vibrator just wasn’t doing it. We can think about world domination after sex.”

“I like the sound of that.”

[lambourngb]

Day 2: AU get me out of here - places to go when canon is complicated

It’s Day 2 for @roswellnewmexicocreate, time to celebrate those stories that I turn to when I can’t deal with canon, or when I don’t have the emotional energy to untangle all the emotions I have for what’s going on in canon. Alternative universes, the safe harbor for us. Below are a mix of rewrites of canon, remixes of canon, or out right not even set in Roswell- to fill every type distance you want from canon- from near to far.

and the howl of the desert carries me home by @christchex​/ @michaels-blackhat​ (4,334) Alex runs into the desert to escape from his father with his guitar clutched to his chest. He plans to spend one last night playing before his father destroys it. Instead, he meets a cute boy with flowers in his curly hair and a lizard on his shoulder. He exchanges a song for a smile.

why i like it: I love everything about this story. Michael is totally a disney princess, and what a lovely way to save him from foster homes, but have him run away to the desert and use his alien powers to build his own little protective world. Looping in Nora’s plant powers like that, giving Michael a little animal friend, I love it all, but the show stealer is Alex Manes, playing music to coax the mystery boy out. It’s just incredibly soft.

***

Heartbeat series by @adiwriting ​ (133,000 - in progress) During the lost decade, Alex gets Michael pregnant and Michael doesn't see or hear from him again for the next four and a half years. When Alex comes back to town, he discovers he has a daughter with Michael and they all have to figure out how to be a family.

why i like it: it has it all, installments with angst, installments with fluff, I can find whatever mood I am in by just pouring over this incredible series. I really don’t even like mpreg, but in RNM, with aliens it seems a little more probable to me and bless Britt, she goes light on the details but heavy on the kid aspect of it. I absolutely love Alex in this story, he’s richly characterized as a man who is trying hard while wandering unfamiliar territory like aliens, like being a dad, like being Michael’s boyfriend, and he doesn’t always get it right, but he’s loved regardless.

***

tonight we are young @skinsharpenedteeth (8,137) Alex and Michael ditch the Evans' New Years Eve party to find their own fun and Alex gets his New Years kiss...(the underage tag is because they're both 17 in this.)

why i like it: I’m a sucker for teen!Malex, especially stories that take place before the shed. I love this little AU where Alex is thinking about making a move, but hasn’t yet. They are both adorable nervous babies, this feels very much how a softer teen!Malex first time would go. Perfectly characterized here, you can just feel the hopeful vibes they have at 17. I like to believe nothing bad ever happens to them again.

***

you shift on a gear (it’s been a long year) by @backinmybodymp3 (28, 362) “Good morning,” Michael says. “What the hell did you do?” Alex asks, exasperated. (or: There were times, in some of the lower moments of the past however-many-days it’s been, where Michael had thought about what it might’ve been like to share this time loop with someone. He never imagined— well, he never imagined it’d be Alex.)

why i like it: I love time-loop stories! And this is just superb. The friendship dynamics of everyone involved, the Liz/Max wedding, Michael being a good brother, Michael trying so hard to keep this bullshit from dragging Alex in and then Alex being his usual reckless self when it comes to Michael, I absolutely dig this canon-divergent au. you can feel how much the author cares about everyone on the show in this story, and they really nail the Malex dynamic. This story came along just as season 3 did and it’s a true antidote to the malex drought on screen.

***

the library by @arielana (9,657)  Alex had stopped too far away to hear exactly what they were saying, but their voices did carry over to where he was standing. The guy’s drawl had a melody to it that was vaguely familiar, but much deeper than the voice it reminded Alex of. God, that and the hair really brought some memories back.  Just as Alex told himself to stop secretly staring like a creep and walk over there, he turned slightly so that Alex got a glimpse of the side of his face.  Fuck!  Fuck, fuck, fuck! Twelve years ago Alex left Roswell to join the Air Force, nursing a broken heart and promising to never return. When work brings him back to New Mexico he runs into someone he’d been sure he’d never see again.

why i like it: the first kiss in the UFO emporium was groundbreaking, but I have to admit, I love stories that explore the almost-happened, where Malex reconnect as adults without the shadow of Jesse’s attack. I love how sharp Alex is in this story, he has all these walls as an adult built from that first rejection, but then he’s so completely unprepared to reconnect with Michael again. The clownery in this story by both of them is perfect! I also totally love Forrest as a gay best friend for Alex, trying to wingman Alex, that cracked me up.

***

stellar light based life by @jocarthage (30,651) It’s not a memory if it’s something you see every day. It’s a trigger and it’s not one Alex wants to ever let go of.Alex saw Michael disappear into a blinding blue light, soft 17-year-old body pulled back into some kind of impossible vortex -- one hand, outstretched.

why i like it: another submission from 2020 RNM Big Bang, this story just wrecked me. I can’t even really put into words about how it hooked me and basically lives in my head now to the point I often mumble the first line to myself. Anyway, this AU takes a right turn at the shed attack, and goes full force scifi and tragic separation, I love it. In so many ways it reshapes Alex’s life but the core of who he is never changes, there’s so many great science geekery details about Michael’s planet and the astronaut journey that Alex takes, plus SANDERS... anyway, this is a fandom classic for me.

***

Crossed Wires by @beautifulcheat, @ladynox (15,351) Michael's been kicked off more than one Starfleet posting. So when he learned he was reassigned to the USS Roswell, he decided that he would keep his head down and behave. This decision is immediately thwarted when he meets her hot Vulcan captain.This might be the first time Michael got kicked off a posting for flirting with a captain.

why i like it: Star Trek AU? I’m pretty easy. Seeing elements of Kirk and Spock’s tragic backstory blended into genius mechanic Michael Guerin and ice prince Alex Manes was amazing. I love how it’s serving with his family that brings Michael to the Enterprise, his bond with Max and Isobel was chef’s kiss good. The blend of Michael’s powers and Alex’s biology - I loved the balance even if it came with its own misunderstandings, but hey, this time it was cultural! lol

***

I’m still here by @vague-shadows @pippsmcgee  (35,928) Treasure Planet AU in which Michael is the gifted young delinquent who found a treasure map, and Alex is a space pirate pawn in his Father's obsession with riches and legacy.

why i like it: I’ve never seen Treasure Planet, but I didn’t need to thoroughly enjoy this AU. This was the perfect mix of angst and sci-fi adventure, where the authors managed to make the shed even more horrifying. Jesse Manes is the absolute worst in this story, the levels of obsession he goes to find a treasure, and then Michael on his own collision course - the ability to write tense action is a gift, and it’s on display in this story. Cyborg!Alex took up a place in my heart and still lives there, where he only gets the nicest things.

If you like any of these recs, please leave a comment on the story or a kudo- a  ‘this was awesome’ is enough to propel an author into the stratosphere with happiness, so don’t worry about coming up with a unique, never before shared insight- sometimes a keyboard smash and emoji makes all  the difference!

[norisxfics]

NCT 127′s Dorm Maid: Ch.3 - Johnny

Title: NCT 127’s Dorm Maid

Genre: smut

Chapter: 3

Characters: Johnny x OC/reader

Chapter masterlist

Previous Chapter

Contains: fingering, thigh riding, slight choking, dom johnny, squirting

Summary: When NCT’s Dorm maid falls ill, her niece takes her place and becomes NCT’s new dorm maid. NCT weren’t unfamiliar with the girl as she has substituted for her aunt many times before. But this time it was different, this time she was going to become their permanent dorm maid as her aunt was forced to retire because of her health. NCT members quickly grow fond of the girl, but little did she know this also meant that she was going to be a hell of a lot more busy than she expected.

Authors Note: It would be really nice and appreciated if you guys could reblog this if you enjoyed it so that I can get more readers. Liking a post shows me you enjoy it but no one will ever see a content creators content if all you guys do is like the post. Especially now since I’ve heard the tags are being fucked up and not all posts are showing up in the tags

When the boys found out I also play video games on my time off we would often play together online whenever we weren’t busy. We mostly played games like PUBG and other FPS games, sometimes MMO’s. Haechan was the one who most often played with me, he would thank me for playing with him and then proceed to whine about how sometimes the boys won’t play with him even if they’ve got nothing going on. It was cute.

Often times when I’m doing my job he would ask me to watch him play or join him. I would usually tell him to wait until I finish my job but then he would whine and hug my arm, trying to act cute, as he would beg me “It’s just for a few minutes!” It never did end up being only a “few minutes” but I guess you could say those moments are like a break for me. 

This time it was both Johnny and Haechan asking me to watch and play with them. I would often help Haechan out as well whenever they played games going against each other I would even lean over Haechan to show him some tricks on the keyboard he could use in the game, Johnny would call it cheating, but I would fight him back saying there was no rules against assisting. 

“Noona, you play for me, show him how hard you can beat him like you did to me the other day,” Haechan got off his chair and I chuckled “don’t mind if I do, time to get wrecked Johnny,” I took my place in the chair and started a round with Johnny, and let’s just say that I totally wrecked Johnny. When the round was over Haechan high-fived me and and Johnny let out a sigh “You only won because I let you,”

“Only a sore loser would try to claim that,” I gave a wink and smirked at him, he raised a brow at me. 

“I have to go, the dreamies wanna hang out, you guys have fun!” Haechan said as he grabbed his phone in wallet, sliding them into his pockets. 

“Bye Haechan, have fun,” I turned to Johnny when he left and smirked “one more round?” Johnny immediately sat up on his chair and we started yet another round. Guess who won? 

That’s right me. 

“Hah! Get wrecked Johnny, I just made you my bitch,” I gave him a smug smirk and dusted off the non-existent dust off my shoulders. I stood up and fixed my skirt “anyway, I should get back to work, I’ll let you cry it out while I clean,” As I turned to walk away Johnny grabbed my wrist and I turned to him. He stared at me with a brow raised “hold on just a minute, who said you’re dismissed?”

“Huh? I mean, I have to get my work done...” 

“You work for us so you answer to us, besides I have somethings to talk about with you,”

“Well, technically I work for SM, SM is the one sending me payche-”

He rolled his eyes, suddenly pulling me to sit on his thigh “First of all I’d like to talk about what you’re wearing today, it’s kind of inappropriate don’t you think? Wearing a short skirt while doing a job that requires bending over a lot,” I had forgotten about that honestly, I intentionally wore a skirt to catch their attention. Ever since that day with Mark my sexual demon that I’ve been suppressing as been slowly coming out. It was exciting, that night, the risk of getting caught, it excited me. 

I wanted to tease the boys. 

I wanted the excitement. 

But I had forgotten about all that while we were playing games, so I was now genuinely surprised. 

“Um...well, I can exp-” 

“Who said you could talk? I’m not done,” 

He gripped onto my thigh, hand slowly moving up “not to mention your actions today as well, the way you were on your knees earlier, wiping the floor in front of me, I bet you did that on purpose, you wanted me to see didn’t you?”

He was absolutely right on point, when I was cleaning the floor I lifted my ass up more when I saw Johnny enter the room, I wanted him to look at me. 

I subconsciously licked over my bottom lip, biting down on it as his hand moved up my skirt and over to my ass, while his other hand moved to caress my cheek “and what was that just now hmm? Bending over in excuse to help Haechan, your ass right in my face, you’re just asking for it aren’t you?” 

I didn’t answer, I was too distracted by his dark and firm tone of voice. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t wet right now. 

His hand soon moved to my throat, thumb caressing against my jawline before he gave a small squeeze to my throat “Answer me.”

I tried so hard not to squirm “Y-yes,”

“Yes what?”

“Yes, Sir...”

He gave my ass a squeeze, his other and moved to the back of my head, pulling me closer to him as his lips lingered over mine for a moment, half lidded eyes looking down into mine before his lips finally connected with mine. Our lips moved in unison as a it slowly get deeper, and more desperate, more desperate from my side that is. My hips involuntarily began to move, grinding against his thigh in a slow pace. 

Johnny broke the kiss and mumbled “eager little kitten aren’t you?” he gave my ass another squeeze as he encouraged me to continue riding out his thigh. I held onto his shoulders as my gaze went back to his lips, our lips soon connected again, resuming back into a heated kiss. He tightened his thigh muscle, pushing his thigh up against me, a whimper leaving my lips and into the kiss. 

“Fuck you’re so wet right now baby girl, it’s leaking through your panties,” I could feel my cheeks turn red “such a dirty little girl,” he smacked my ass and I jumped a little, biting down on my lip “you like that huh?” he smirked and I nodded.

He buried his face in the crook of my neck, kissing and softly sucking on the skin. I let out a soft quiet moan, followed by another as he spanked me again before gripping my hips, pushing my down harder against his thigh. My hips began to move more eagerly against him. 

He then held my hips in place and I let out a whimper as he stopped me. 

“Stand up,” he ordered. 

And so I did. I stood in front of him. 

“Lift your skirt up for me, baby” 

I gripped onto the hem of my skirt, lifting it up from him to see me white lace panties. He tapped my inner thigh, I took that as a signal to spread my legs more, so I did. He hooked his fingers into my panties and tug them half way down my thighs. 

“What was that you said earlier? That I’m you’ve made me your bitch?” 

His fingers slipped between my thighs, softly grazing over my wet folds. 

“I think you got it all wrong, because I just made you my bitch,”

I shuddered at his words. I was a huge sub and Johnny seemed to know that. I guess a dom will always know a sub when he sees one, right?

His middle finger slipped in between my fold as he dragged it from my entrance to my clit, teasing it a bit before he paused. 

“Want me to keep touching you? To make you feel good?” 

I nodded “Yes, sir,”

“Then tell me who’s dirty little bitch are you?”

“Yours, sir” 

“My what?”

“I’m your dirty little bitch,”

“Good girl,” 

I let out a whimper when those two small words came out of his own mouth. He began to rub my clit, pressing his fingers against it, he moved his fingers in a circular motion pressing firmly against me. I gripped tightly onto my skirt, pursing my lips to muffle my moans. 

Hi moved his finger between my folds and began to tease my entrance “you’re such a little whore, getting so damn,” he pushed his finger into me, a moan escaping my lips “wet for me,” his finger pumped inside of me, pressing against my wet walls. 

“What am I gonna do with you?”

He added a second digit into me, pumping his fingers faster and harder inside of me. I let out a louder moan, covering my mouth quickly with one hand. 

“Even your moans sound so dirty,” he chuckled. He curled his fingers up against my walls, finding my sweet spot. I bit into my hand to muffle my moans and whimpers. My hips were shaking and it was becoming hard to stay on my feet. 

“Do you wanna come for me, baby?”

“Y-yes sir...”

“Then beg for it,”

His fingers began to move painfully slow, I let out a whine in protest “Please...please don’t stop, please let me cum daddy,” 

“daddy huh? I like the way it sounds coming from your dirty little whore mouth, say it again,”

“fuck, daddy please, please make me cum for you daddy,” I begged desperately, as I squirmed. 

“Good girl,” 

He inserted a third digit and began to roughly and quickly thrust his fingers into me, making to to curl them against my sweet spot, hitting it repeatedly I gripped onto his arm, moaning loudly, forgetting to keep myself quiet, as my body shook with pleasure, my walls tightening around his fingers as I reached my climax. 

My juices squirting out onto his hand and onto the floor. 

“Fuck...you’re squirter huh?”

He pulled his fingers out and I sunk down onto my knees, catching my breath. I looked up at him to see him licking his fingers clean as he grabbed his phone before pointing it at me “can I take a picture? You know, in memory of who exactly wrecked who tonight,” he smirked down at me and I blushed. 

“I’ll take your silence as a yes?” He held the phone up at and angle and took a photo. I didn’t mind of course, or I would have said no. 

“You should clean your mess up and get back to work,”

I nodded.

I had a feeling he was going to start teasing me about this, and I was right. The next time I played a game with him and Haechan online and “get wrecked” would be mentioned, he would text me the photo with a reminder “You mean like how you got wrecked the other night?”

[seijohsfairy]

𝙼𝙸𝚂𝙵𝙸𝚃

Bokuto has a big personality, and an even bigger body. All you can do is try your best to take him whole and make sure you’re his good girl. day 06 of kinktober

tw size kink, branding, oral (receiving), insecurities, squirting, subspace, soft to hard dom, little bit of blood .wordc. 3.5k

Your eyes flick down in embarrassment as he spits on your pussy, before he’s rubbing his thumb back in your mess of slick and spit, rolling your oversensitive clit again and again. “Don’t worry, we’ll go slow,” he smiles encouragingly when catching your eye, dipping back down on his knees so pull your ass a bit further off the bed. His face is back between your legs for the nth time today, pointed tongue flicking between your swollen lips and rubbing up to your clit. You close your eyes again, and hold onto the bed sheets with tight fists. As encouraging as your amazing boyfriend is to you, you feel bad. Because you feel undeserving when you still struggle to take him every time.

It takes so much prep, and you have to go so slow, but Bokuto just is that big. The first time you ended up in bed together you made an excuse and left because you got so spooked, though he’d made you want to stick around after another two dates anyway. Because Bokuto is lovely.

He’s an amazing boyfriend and you two fit together so well that you can’t even imagine breaking up without tearing up. You love him. Which is also why you feel so frustrated, since your body just seems too small for him to fit into. He’s big in everything he does and with every part of his being, and that also counts for his huge cock. “Feel good, little bunny?” he asks, licking up some of the wetness around his lips with an obscene smack.

But you stay quiet for a moment to collect your thoughts, already thinking back to yesterday. You had tried and failed miserably to take him, and though Bokuto would never say it, you have to assume that he’s getting fed up. When his hands spread your thighs a little more, you take your bottom lip into your mouth, humming so softly it could go unnoticed. His breath on your wet pussy is enough to have you clenching around nothing. But then you feel a soft kiss further down your thigh, and another one at your knee, his hands sliding up and down the sides of your legs so softly. You open your eyes to see your boyfriend watching you with a small smile, understanding pooling in his eyes.

“Baby,” he says, kissing along your shin and ending up at your ankle, peppering kisses there where he rests your foot on his shoulder. “My sweet, little bunny. You have to talk to me, y’know.” You take in his entire shape at the side of the bed for a moment and shiver. Your boyfriend, on both knees flushing and thick thighs still covered in his boxers. This huge man who has the kindest expression on his face when watching you, spread wide open for him. You feel undeserving, even though you know Bokuto doesn’t think like that. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I’m perfectly content making you cum like this and—”

“I want to more than anything, Koutaro, but it’s always so overwhelming,” you whimper softly, looking up at the ceiling against the oncoming tears. “And you’re gonna get fed up with me and find someone else and—”

“Woah, woah, hey, silly girl,” he moves from the ground to come hover over you, lifting you by your waist and sliding you back onto the bed. So easily, it only reminds you more of how strong and safe he is, and you automatically wrap your arms around his neck. His kisses come softly at first, your lips and tangling with your tongue and a moan. He tastes entirely like you, but you don’t mind. Then he pulls back to brush his fingertips along your cheek. “Listen. You’re perfect for me, alright? You take me so well, and you’re always so pretty for me when you do.” You pout at that, closed eyes still letting some wetness slip. “Hey, look at me,” he says, and when you don’t, “little one, look at me now.”

You follow his order to be met with those perfect, golden eyes, his body hovering over you by resting on his forearms. “Don’t you believe me when I tell you that I love you?” You shake your head and play with the soft hairs at the base of his neck to calm yourself a little. ‘I do’, you mouth. He nods. “So take my word for it then. I love this pretty body. I love wrecking your tiny cunny too, and I love watching you struggle to take me.” He kisses you again, then sits up. “You want to stop for tonight?”

“No,” immediately you sit up, grabbing at his hand and pulling it back to your body. “Please, I want you. I want to feel you, Kou, please.” A small whine comes from your throat when he giggles, your eyes looking wide and rimmed with tiny, glistening tears. “Was just frustrated with myself,” you mumble. He smiles in understanding, before sitting down so he can scoot back against the headboard.

“Come on then,” he coos, patting his thick thigh encouragingly, “you little thing.” You peek out your tongue to wet your lips, feeling your slick even on your thighs and getting cold in the open air. You’re definitely prepped enough to try, at least. He places his big palms either side of your waist, grinning when you shiver. “You like that huh, bunny? Being so small compared to me. I know you do,” he pulls you closer so you can settle your legs, with some strained effort, around his. The bulge in his boxers is almost criminally big, and you know from memory that he’s not even totally hard yet. “You always get this glint in your eye when I make you say it.” You lower onto his clothed bulge with a whimper, his hard cock slotting between your thighs so perfectly. “So say it.”

“Yes, I love being your little bunny. I love taking your cock, even if it’s too big for me.” Your words are a little rushed, but your attention is entirely on the way you drag your hips up and down him, and how good it feels. “Koutaro, I want to have you inside,” you say. He nods, and presses a few kisses to your lips and neck.

“I know. Gonna let me stretch you out?” Your head bobs instantly, shivering again when his large palms slide up your thighs to knead your ass between his fingers. You hope he leaves marks that will stay. You carefully dip your fingers around the edge of his boxers, peeling it away from his body. The flushed head of his cock is a pretty pink, sticking to the wet patch of his boxers from how long he’s been at it already. You don’t allow yourself to feel bad this time, just anticipating all of him as deep as he can go and clenching for him. “This fat cock is all yours, little one. Doesn’t that make you happy, huh?”

“Yes, I love your cock so much. It’s so big.”

He slides one of his hands between you to stuff his fingers in again, scissoring your gummy walls open for him another last time. Then he uses your slick to slip his tip in and out of his fist a few times, groaning softly. “Yeah? Come sit on it then,” Bokuto mumbles, as you rub his thick head between your legs and over your puffy clit, “we’ll go at your pace.” He holds onto your hips with a tight grip, as you lower yourself onto him. Even just the first inch is a wide stretch, and you have to set your knees further apart as you hold onto his shoulders. You bite your lip, lashes flicking up and down at the sting, and you can’t help but whine his name. “Gentle, be gentle,” he says, pressing his mouth to yours again.

You slide down a little more with each deep breath, being stretched open even wider. His warmth, the press of his inside you, it all feels so good. You moan into his mouth, trying to roll your hips on his too-big cock head. The pain of the stretch is easy to push aside when he groans out your name. You drop your face forward and blow out slowly, digging your fingers into his muscles. Even if you tried you wouldn’t be able to keep quiet, the whines slipping from you without your control. Your thighs burn from the strain, but you want him so bad. He’s so big that even the veins on the underside of his cock are enough to have you moaning and crying for him. Entirely being spread open for him, the warm glow in your belly traveling up your veins. When he’s in halfway, you glance up at him though your tears, your walls fluttering around him without aim. It doesn’t feel like you’ll ever get him in all the way, his cock is still getting thicker and you’re already spread so thin.

But your boyfriend looks heavenly. Blissed out, even though you’re nowhere near taking him all. “Koutaro,” you say, and his pretty eyes find yours immediately, “I want to- t-take more. Please.”

“You’re so fucking tight, bunny,” he grunts, one hand leaving your waist to tilt your face towards him. “Come here.” He motions your face to the side with his nose to kiss you more deeply than before, pulling you closer to his warm chest. You slip lower too sudden, crying into his mouth at the stretch. Fuck, you feel like you’re about to rip apart. But you want him all, you need him to fill you to the brim. Disconnecting your mouths, he looks down between your bodies at the way your little slit is stretched around his huge cock, and moans. “I don’t know if you can take any more, baby.”

“No,” you squeak, “no, I want it. I want it, please, Kou. Please, give me more please.” Your legs are trembling now, able to give out any moment. Your entire body feels weak, like you’re using every muscle to just take him inside. The silver haired man grunts at your persistence to take him all, but eventually nods. It’s just so cute how badly you want it, want him. He could never deny you and your teary eyes when looking so pretty and desperate for what belongs to you.

“Want me to help you?” You nod, taking his large hand and wrapping yours around two of his thick digits, your other hand finding purchase on his toned stomach.

“Yes, please. I can take it, I can be good for you,” you babble, staring between your bodies. It’s so hard to think of anything else when he feels like he’s about to break you open. “I can be your good girl, Kou. Please make me take it all.” That’s all he needs to lift you from him a little, groaning at the way your clenching hole spasms around him, before letting you back down. The fit is impossibly tight. Your breasts heave up and down with your laboured breathing, and he drops his face back to your neck and chest to slot his mouth there.

“Good girl, agh— fuck, my good, little bunny,” he mumbles, sucking hickies into your soft flesh. With each gentle roll of his hips, his cock digs deeper inside your wet cunny, like it’s carving it’s shape into you. He’s so deep you feel like you can’t even breathe, but it feels so good. So, so good. You cling onto your boyfriend with the last bit of strength you have, placing little kisses on his peck and sucking at the skin too.

“Kou, s’big, too big,” you whimper, “wan’more. You’re so big, Kou.” At this point, you probably don’t even know what you’re saying anymore, which makes him chuckle.

“I’m gonna lay you down, alright?” he huffs before you give a vague hum of agreement. Grabbing your hips tight, he lifts you a little to make sure he doesn’t slide too deep too quickly, and topples you over onto your back with him on top. Your cute, little mouth hanging open and glistening with your spit, your chest rising and falling rapidly. He’s barely fucked you, and you look devastated in the best way. It really does swell his chest with pride. “My little bunny, taking me so well. Look at you, baby, you look like you’re gonna cum already.”

You nod your head a bit crooked, eyes fluttering open again to grab for hair at the base of his skull, and hum softly. “Gon’ cum, wanna—” Your useless little body shifts a little when he pulls out again, sliding back in and reaching the very end of your cunny with still more to fit in. Your clenching so tight around him and sobbing with pleasure, his cock big enough to hit every part of you perfectly. “Kou, please,” you beg again, breathing hard as he slides in again. He smiles as he kisses your parted lips, feeling your little tongue on his. ‘Cum,’ he demands, brushing his fingertips over your clit just once. And your body immediately follows, clenching so tight around him he feels a bit lightheaded. “Fuck, mhm-holy shit.” You whimper and cry and moan out all kinds of unintelligible curses as you cum around his fat cock, tears slipping down your temples. “Ah- aah Koutaro, love how big you are. Wan’more.”

“More?” he asks as he brushes his thumb over your lip, pulling out as soon as your grip on him loosens a bit, pushing back in to press at your cervix. As bad as he knows it to be, it’s so tempting to try and over-stuff you, but your belly is already bulging. “You want me to really fuck this pretty cunt, hah?” Your response is a dozen slurred mumbles of ‘yes’, as you arch your back to brush your tits to his chest. You’re so tiny under him, it really is impressive that you take him this much. That you love him this much. “You sure?” You nod, smacking your lips. In response he smiles, and kisses you again. “Alright, hang on, pretty thing.”

Then he pulls out until only his tip remains inside, and slides back into the very brim. You cry out, nails digging into his shoulders now, as he sets a pace that has you seeing heaven. In and out, hitting every part of your walls on the way, hip bone hitting your clit with each pump. “Hnng- Kou, Kou, Kou, can’t—”

“You can, and you will,” he hisses, looking between your bodies to watch his own cock bulge your stomach out. “Doing so well, little one. So good to me.” You can’t even feel your toes anymore, since all your feeling seems to be on the way your walls are being battered into by his length that doesn’t seem to belong inside you.

“Kou, gon’cum. Stop— Koutaro.” He lifts your one leg with ease to shift his cock inside to hit even further, each hit on your puffy nub too much. “I’m- ah, ah aaahng please Kou, pleasepleaseplease.” Your vision blacks out before you can feel the waves of pleasure roll over you, again and again and your thighs squeeze so hard you feel them cramp up. Your toes pointed and back arching off the bed, you spill all over his cock. He has to pull out with how hard you’re cumming and fucks his cock into his hand, watching as all your wetness gushes out and onto his lap and thighs. You’re still trembling, but he just has to push in again to fill you up with his cum.

“Holy fuck, baby, you just squirted all over me,” he rests his forearms next to your head and you grab onto his biceps like a lifeline, as he thrusts in and out again. Even laying down like this, you’re bounced on his cock, feeling is cock so deep it feels like he’s fucking the air out of your lungs. “Take my fat cock like that, little bunny.” He grunts and growls into your ear as he plows in between your legs, his balls smacking against your skin and chest dripping sweat onto yours. “Beg for what you want from me.”

“Ah, ah,” you swallow and shake your head, “too much. Koutaro, please, cum inside.” You’re not even making sense anymore. As much as he wants you to look at him while he’s fucking you stupid, he knows there’s no way you have it in you right now. So he settles for yanking your legs up even higher to your chest and pushing into you like that, as your mouth hangs open and small breaths come out. You clench around him still, but your poor, raw cunny is too fucked out to put nay strength behind it, and the weight of him on you is enough to drive you onto him again and again until he grunts again. So close. “Wan’everyone t’know,” you manage to say, before biting your lip so hard he’s scared you’ll bite through it.

“You want everyone to know who you belong to?” You nod wildly again, and he has to force his tight grip on the sheets loose to look around. “Gonna let me put my name on you then?” he groans, and you almost give out right there and then.

“Yes, Kou.” Your voice is barely a squeak, like he’s fucked that out of you too. “Anything you want. Anything,” your little hands squeeze harder around his biceps, your poor body too gone to do much else. “Wanna be good for you. Please, please. Ah- s’big.”

So he grabs at the pair of scissors on the bedside table and uses one of the ends to push it into the inside of your thigh as you whine and jerk under him, to scratch his initials into your skin. Not hard enough to break the surface, but enough that tiny red spots appear between the raw lines. “There,” he grunts, “you’re mine. Your little cunny is mine, your noises are mine and your pretty expression sure as hell is all mine too.” Then he pumps into you like mad until he has to hold you still under him from overstimulation. “Gonna cum.” You turn into a sobbing mess of agreements again, tits bouncing with each hard thrust, even faster and harder while you feel him flex. “Fuck, baby,” he moans, and then falls still as he whines.

His hot cum filling you up so full, like your stomach will explode. The pressure is just too much, and you pound your little fists on his chest desperately. “Kou, pull out,” you beg, “s’too much.” He lets up a little when he’s filled you all the way, slowly pulling out to watch your little hole gush with his white. He grabs your both wrists in one hand to keep you from acting out more, before he sits back on his heels with a deep sigh. After a while of catching his breath, he lets out a noise of contentment, just watching the way your ruined cunny flutters. He only moves to drop his face to your swollen tummy to lay kisses there, pressing his fingers into it to urge his cum back out. The kisses turn into sucking and biting, but you just lay and take it, already knowing the marks will be on your skin for weeks.

Bokuto glances up at you for a second when you coo out his name, with your tear-ridden face and your sleepy expression, before smiling. You always look so perfect for him. He licks his thumb and wipes it over the swelling skin of his initials, then hums. “Good?”

“Good,” you slur, still trying to come back to earth. Koutaro chuckles when you make grabby, little hands for him to return to you, even though it’s too warm and you’re definitely going to push him off later.

So he presses a kiss to your lips, and sits up. “I’m just going to get something to clean you up, okay? Don’t fall asleep yet.” You hum in response, but you’re just so tired. He knows you, knows that you will if you’re not forced to move. So he slots an arm under your body and lifts you up against his strong body, sitting you up with your face against his stomach, breathing softly. “I’m gonna make you cum again for being so good to me, little one,” he promises though, hoping you’ll stay upright for just a second to go get a wet towel. “I love you, bunny.”

“Love you too, Kou,” you say, reaching up to brush your hand under your eyes. And you do. You really, really do.

[totallypathet]

UK Episode Five

UK Hun?

I know I haven't at all talked about Drag Race UK this season, but I have ~opinions~ and my flatmate is getting bored of me so here we are.

First episode back after lockdown! I feel so bad for these queens, started filming, get sent home for seven months, have no idea if/when they're going to start filming again, lose income for 7 months, it must have been so awful. But I'm glad they're all back! Except poor Veronica who got covid - I hope they do a Eureka and invite her back for season 3, I feel like she had so much more to show!

Of course they brought someone back to replace her, typical drag race gag, but nice that someone else got another chance! Having said that, it should have been Astina. She didn't deserve to go home in the first place, imo. I do think it was kind of harsh to throw that at everyone first thing though! Like the eliminated three didn't get to do anything to even fight for it, and for all the remaining queens, like its been seven months! Who remembers things that long?? Not me, that's for damn sure. I think that was kind of harsh, and I think a lot of people did go for Joe maybe as a safe choice, like there's always an argument for the queen who went home first, they didn't really get to show much. You know what I wish, I wish those three had been a group for the Eurovision (I refuse to say Rurovision) challenge, and then everyone got a chance to vote someone back. That would have felt fairer somehow.

Anyway. I was initially really glad we got Joe back, because I really felt like she did have more to show. I was soon to be disappointed, however 😂

I do love the music challenges, and I adore MNEK, I hope he is like the permanent music judge. One of my favourite moments was him, I think it was after Bimini's first take, going "well...its good that we have that..." very like Chrissy Teigen 😬 that was so funny to me, I loved it.

1. A'Whora

Before the covid break I really didn't like A'Whora, but I feel like she's come back a bit more relaxed, a bit more open, and I liked her so much more this episode. I feel like maybe when she came back she was a bit more relaxed because she knew (kind of) what she was walking into, so she felt a but more at home, maybe. Anyway, I think she did really well this week! She's not a singer, but she leaned into this moany sexy thing that some people do do at Eurovision, and hey, sex sells! I think it was a smart choice for her.

Her look as well... amazing. You guys it was a bag of chips! She had wooden forks as her earrings! The font of the newspaper was to scale! She was carrying a salt shaker! It was so sick, I loved it. I loved seeing her be fashion and polished and beautiful, but also whimsy and funny at the same time! Great week for A'Whora.

2. Bimini Bon Boulash

We LOOOOOOOVE Bimini Bon Boulash! For me, she was the absolute stand out this week, I just adored her! Her verse was amazing, her lyrics were great, her very East London attitude was everything, I just loved it. And her outfit! That mad pink cowboy barbie? Incredible! Also, so Eurovision. And the jump off the stool! That lives in my head rent free. "Somebody do a death drop or summing!" Perfect. The whole performance was amazing.

Also her runway looooooook! It was so beautiful, so fashion, I was getting Gautier from that lace and the umbrella... everything about it to me was so perfect. I know it was a team win, but to me Bimini absolutely killed it, and she was my winner 🥰🥰

3. Ellie Diamond

I love Ellie, but honestly I think she's too young for this competition. She's so great, but if you give her just a couple more years, she's going to be absolutely unstoppable. I think she did pretty well this week, her lyrics were fun, she is a dancer, she performed great! I do agree with Michelle, she did look a little bit like she was in her head for a lot of the performance, but that just comes with confidence, and when you've not performed for 7 months and then suddenly you're on the main stage, that's got to be super nerve wracking!

I also think Ellie was a victim of a bad group this week. I think the group as a whole didn't have a lot of direction or focus, the choreography wasn't that great, they didn't really feel like a group. It was unfortunate. I feel like she did the best she could.

I kind of loved her runway, I think the seagull thing was hilarious! She was a human size seagull! That's hysterical. The only thing I kind of wish is that she'd had ridiculous padding on. Like, what's funnier than a giant seagull with huge tits in a bikini. I think that's so funny.

4. Joe Black

Oh Joe. I was excited for Joe to come back, but as soon as she walked out to the Eurovision challenge in that dress with that wig and a belt, I knew it was over.

I'll get into the dress H&M/Primark drama in a second, but first let's talk about the actual challenge. Joe's lyrics were pretty good, but the way she performed them was just so at odds with the track. It's cheesy Euro pop, you know? I just feel like she could have done things differently. And then with the choreo...look I don't expect anyone to walk in being a great dancer and doing flips and splits and all that, but I just felt like she didn't even really try with the moves Ellie and Tia wanted to do. Maybe that was the edit, I don't know. I also feel like, as team leader, she could have found some solutions, like they could've had Tia & Ellie doing these amazing moves, and Sister & Joe could have done something more simple, or they could have found some comedy Joe could lean into while the others were dancing, but it just seemed like they didn't even try and find a way around it? It was just a bit weird to me.

And then she came out for the runway, and it was like chalk and cheese. Joe Black had by far and away the best runway look of the night. That's one of my favourite things that's ever been worn on UK Drag Race, it was amazing. But it was also like girl if you can do that, why were you wearing H&M during the main challenge? And like, I'd get it, if that dress was beautiful, or bold, or she'd used it as a base and done something to it, but it wasn't. It was so basic, and she even said she knew it was basic, and it didn't even fit her right. It was just so disappointing.

Honestly, I understand what Ru was saying about not wanting to see off the rack. I can't believe I'm about to be defending Transphobia Paul, but I actually kind of agree. And it's not about money, I don't think anyone has to spend loads of money to be a good drag queen, I think its just about it being a Look. A Moment. Like this is internationally available TV. And you're going to come out to perform in a dress off the sale rack that you just threw on and belted? I just find that disappointing. And I get what people are saying about Astina in week 1 winning with an off the rack outfit, but at least she did something with it. I mean, first of all it at least was a cool jacket. But then she built this outfit, and sold a character, she gave us an East London Moment, and it didn't matter that the jacket was from ASOS.

Joe didn't give us anything with that dress. She did nothing with it, and she didn't give us a character or a presentation, it was just an ugly dress. But then she came out in that incredible runway look, why such a disconnect? And I know that it was covid, and everyone had a loss of income, but girl the filming started before that. Like Joe should have already had the wardrobe for the season all ready before the lockdown. And if she didn't, she had 7 months to do literally anything with that dress. Stone it, glitter it, paint it, dye it, wreck it with bleach, make it a top, make it a jacket, do SOMETHING! You know? Also, that runway look? Idk if she made it or commissioned it, but baby that was not cheap. That took time, and energy, and effort, and money, so I'm calling bullshit on "maybe she could only afford a sale rack H&M dress 😔". Bullshit, Vivienne.

I was just so disappointed in Joe. I'm glad she went home.

5. Lawrence Chaney

I was worried for Lawrence this week! She's not known for being a singer or a dancer, and she was the only plus size girl in her group. As a big bitch myself I know it can be intimidating to be surrounded by thin people, especially when you're doing things you're not confident in.

But bitch she fucking turned it out this week! She wrote good lyrics, she kept up with the choreography, but most importantly, she performed the song. Like she leaned into not being a good dancer, she didn't look unsure or awkward, she just did it. I love that about Lawrence, she always just gives it her best, and I respect the hell out of it.

Her day at the seaside look was cute. It was a little bit obvious, a little bit literal, but it was well made, it fit her beautifully, and she looked fantastic. She did the assignment, and tbh I'm happy with that. She did a good job, and I'm proud of her!

6. Sister Sister

Honesly, the fact that Tia Kofi was in the bottom two when Sister Sister was right there is a fucking hate crime.

I genuinely forgot Sister Sister even existed. Like the only memorable thing she has done all season is her Morning Talk Show goth, and that was painful to watch. And she spends all her confessionals just bitching and moaning about other people! She spent the whole Talk Show episode complaining about Veronica and saying she didn't wanna work with her, but bitch what did you do?? If you think someone else is boring, you should have no trouble out shining them! And then she didn't!

I'm over it with her. Her performance wasn't that good, her lyrics weren't that good, and then her runway look was like the Wish version of A'Whora's.

I'm not totally certain that I buy that Sister stole it as a concept from A'Whora, but... maybe? Like, if Sister had really seen A'Whora's when they were filming the first time, and Sister had something totally different back then... I can see that maybe she thought "oh, thats a way better idea". All I know is, if you're gonna do the same look as someone else, you better leave them in the dust; and she didn't. She should have been lipsyncing this week.

7. Tayce

Tayce really pulled it out this week! Her rap was one of the best performances in the whole show, she killed it! Her lyrics were great, she really delivered them like a rapper, and them she performed the hell out of the song! Loved it. The only things I had to say about Tayce was that she seemed like the odd one out in the group in terms of outfits? Like everyone else went very Eurovision, cheesy pop pink, and she went with a very cool, edgy, darker look. Like, she looked stunning, and I looooved her hair, but it just didn't quite fit with the rest of the group. But that's a real nitpick, in terms of the actual performance, she was amazing!

Tayce's runway look. It was okay. It was a little bit literal for me, she went for shells and netting. It was cool, she looked beautiful, but it wasn't like a knockout for me.

8. Tia Kofi

Tia got a raw fucking deal this week. She was the best performer in her group by a country fucking mile, she had the best lyrics, she was the best rapper, and I think she looked the best out of the four in that group (during during challenge). I could not believe they put her in the bottom two.

Okay, her runway look was not great. It was a long way from great. But at least she had a unique concept (*cough* Sister), and she gave us some form of presentation. It could have been a lot better, but there was potential! I really wish that she'd had a much more defined look, I wish the skirt had been a high waisted pencil skirt, with some kind of cone-like texture somehow, really fitted and beautiful. And then I wish the top had been really big and over the top ruffles, maybe tulle, just something BIG. And that wouldn't have had to be expensive, you can buy cheap pencil skirts, she could have dyed one brown herself, and then she could have bought that cheap mesh that looks like tulle and made a really big rounded ice cream top out of it - I'm just proving my point about Joe Black and the off the rack thing now btw. But I wish it had just been a bit more considered than it was. And I also wish she'd had a flake head piece instead of a cherry, because when you buy those ice creams at the beach it's always a 99.

One thing I will give Tia's runway this week is that her face was stunning. I think that's the best her face has looked all season, the makeup was beautiful.

There was kind of a lot of drama this week with the whole off the rack thing, and then the A'Whora vs Sister Sister conspiracy, and I kind of loved it! I also really enjoyed this challenge, I feel like they've had much better and more interesting challenges on the UK series than the American one. Also UK Hun is going to be in my head for weeks.

I'm picking my top 2 of the season as Lawrence Chaney and Bimini Bon Boulash. Veronica Green would have been up there for me as well, it's a real shame that she got sick and couldn't finish this season! I really really hope they bring her back for season 3!

[artificialqueens]

Galactica, Chapter 46 (Group Fic) - TheDane/Veronica

A/N: Click here if you’re looking for previous chapters (or here if you’d rather read on AO3). 💫

Last Chapter: Pearl invited Adore to a party

This Chapter: Adore has a very bad week, the design team gets more cronuts, and Raven has a lunch date with her bestie.

***

“I don’t understand…”

It had been a great night. Pearl had picked her up, both of them dressed to kill, Adore’s hair freshly dyed an icy turquoise. They’d had dinner, laughing their asses off while they swapped stories about concert debauchery and their favorite bands, and then went onto the party. It was just hours of dancing and flashing lights and pounding bass, their bodies pressed together, chemistry electric like it’d been when they first got together.

Things were so heated at one point that Pearl dragged Adore off to fuck her against a brick wall, making her shiver and moan, fingers gripping the lapels of Pearl’s motorcycle jacket.

After the party, they’d gone to an all-night diner in DUMBO for pancakes, sharing sticky kisses, leaving most of the food untouched as they giggled happily, party drugs slowly leaving their systems.

And then lastly, they’d wandered over to the bridge, the best spot in the whole city to watch the sunrise.

It was then, snuggled in Pearl’s arms as they watched the sky slowly begin to brighten, the first faint rays of light turning a few clouds pink, when Adore carefully brought up the idea of being monogamous. If not now, she figured, clinging together under a cotton-candy sky, then when.

“This open thing, I just...I feel like it’s making me paranoid, you know?”

What she wasn’t expecting, not after a night like that, was that Pearl would immediately let go of her, shaking her head, saying, “I’m just not ready for that.”

Which brought them to the present moment.

“I don’t understand…” Adore began, eyes welling up with tears. “Didn’t you have fun tonight?”

“Yeah, of course. I always have fun with you,” Pearl said.

“So then why-” Adore gulped as a single tear spilled down her cheek. “Why am I not enough for you?”

“It’s not that! You’re great. You are. There are just things I miss when we’re together. And I don’t want to make you a promise that I can’t keep.”

“Like what? What do you miss?”

“Like…” Pearl faltered. “Like, little lacy panties and kissing with lipgloss. Having a manicured hand in my hair while I eat a girl out. Watching an ass in high heels and smelling floral perfumes. Carrying her tiny purse-”

“So...I’m not femme enough?” Adore asked, head still shaking in confusion.

“You’re the one who asked.” Pearl sighed, pushing away from the bridge. “I like you, and it makes me sound like a douche, but, I dunno Adore. I’m a lesbian. I like girls. Sometimes-” Pearl looked over at her. “Sometimes you seem more like a boy.”

Adore swore she could feel her heart shatter, a wrecked sob leaving her. Growing up, one of her biggest sources of shame was not being enough of a “girl.” She never liked frilly things, she never liked the things her older sisters did, like ballet classes and fashion and shopping. She remembered being a kid, bored silly with the endless conversations about nail polish and push-up bras that she was subjected to.

When she came out, one of the best things was that a lot of those expectations were suddenly removed, lifted from her shoulders. She could make her own rules, and so she did. But sometimes, secretly, she still worried. She still glanced at her reflection when in a group of other girls, still wondered sometimes how she measured up.

Most of the time, she got plenty of validation--her friends praising her constantly, and even her sister’s lighthearted shade was affectionate, never failing to slip in a compliment. So she was able to curb her inner demons, really believe that she was beautiful and cute and lovable, even if she wasn’t the most feminine.

But today, hearing Pearl’s honest opinion...it was like someone confirming her worst fear. Like a boy. As she continued crying, her chest aching, she felt like even more of a monster than she ever had.

“C’mon, don’t cry.” Pearl didn’t touch her, and Adore was so thankful for that, as it would have made everything worse. “You’re a really cool boy, and it’s fun to spend time with you.”

“Just stop talking.”

“Let’s get a cab and head back-”

“You think I wanna ride in a cab with you right now?!” Adore asked angrily, swiping at her eyes, surely smearing her makeup even more. “Fuck you!”

“Adore-”

“Just go!” she exclaimed hoarsely, glaring right into Pearl’s tired eyes, daring her.

After a resigned sigh, Pearl muttered, “Whatever you say,” and turned, walking back towards Brooklyn.

***

Courtney had almost finished getting ready for work, putting the last touches on her makeup and looking for a pair of earrings both plain enough to be acceptable, but that she was certain she hadn’t worn in the last two weeks. She’d just pulled out a pair of small, inoffensive black hoops when her phone started buzzing, sending a wave of fear and nausea through her all at once.

It was barely 6:30, and getting a phone call at this time could only mean that there was some pending disaster for her at work--or worse, something she’d already screwed up. She reached for the phone with her heart in throat, stomach churning, only to see to her surprise that it wasn’t her work phone ringing. Brow furrowed, she picked up her old personal iPhone, wondering what could be wrong.

“Adore? Are you okay?”

“Pearl and I broke up,” came Adore’s shaky voice, hitching on the last word.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry!”

“We had the best night, I thought things were turning around, and then she-”

What came next was almost totally incomprehensible as Adore tried to speak through her sobs.

“Where are you, honey? Do you need me to come and-”

“I’m on the Brooklyn Bridge.”

“You’re what!?” Courtney’s heart nearly stopped, panic rushing through her like a bolt of lightning.

“No, I’m…It’s just cause we were at a party here. Don’t-” Adore managed to chuckle drily through her tears. “Don’t worry.”

“Oh. Okay. Good.”

“I’m just gonna walk across and then like...I dunno. Probably go home and sleep all day. But I thought...maybe we could hang out this week?”

“Of course! Whenever you want, just say the word. Okay?”

“Okay. Thanks. I’m sorry to...I know you’re probably heading to work, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. You know you can call me anytime. And Dore?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

***

Pearl was leaning back in her chair, her eyes closed, a constant throb behind her right eye.

Normally, she had nothing against the big glass doors and windows that let her entire team see her at all times, the installment of them her own choice, but right now, Pearl desperately wished she had a private office.

She was feeling absolutely wretched from last night, and if she was being honest, it wasn’t just leftover alcohol and party drugs that had her feeling like shit.

Adore had completely misunderstood, had refused to listen to her when she explained herself, the whole thing a terrible terrible mess.

It wasn’t Pearl’s fault that Adore had agreed to something she apparently wasn’t cool with, this whole situation only happening because Adore didn’t actually know herself.

Pearl crossed her arms, groaning, the lie comforting for a moment, but it was just that, a lie.

Adore had asked for honesty, but it seemed like Pearl had made a mistake indulging it. She didn’t know what to do, the guilty feeling new and unfamiliar.

“Pearl?” Pearl opened her eyes to see Laganja standing at her door, a curious expression on her face. “I need you to-”

“I don’t need to do shit until after you get me a coffee.”

“Okay boss?” Laganja raised an eyebrow. “Way to be a bitch.”

Laganja turned around and walked away, Pearl groaning as she slid even further down her chair, today going from bad to worse to terrible.

***

“Hello! Earth to Chachki.”

“Huh?” Violet looked up, Bob’s voice cutting through her thoughts. It was midmorning, Trixie coming into work with boxes of cronuts, a smile on his face as the designers had flocked around him.

Everyone had gathered at the couches, Violet’s stack of magazines she had already read in the corner, Maxwell asking if he could read them when she was done.

“Are you going to eat that?” Bob pointed at Violet’s plate.

“Oh.” Violet looked down, the pastry untouched. “Umh-” April had been kind enough to bring Violet a plate without being asked, her and Alexis sitting side by side. “What’s Trixie’s deal with these anyway?”

“With the cronuts?” Jovan looked over at her, Maxwell next to him.

“It means there’s a tough week ahead-” Maxwell waved his cronut around. “It’s kind of an apology in advance.”

“Ha,” Violet smiled, that statement so fitting with everything she knew of Trixie, the man downstairs in a meeting with Bendela.

“And the question still stands on whether or not you're eating that,” Bob nodded, his eyes still firmly on Violet’s cronut.

“Ah.” She hadn’t even tasted it, but Violet was not in the mood, Sutan’s question about Aspen still playing around in her head. “No.”

“Dibs then!” Blu grinned, reaching over the coffee table and snatching it from Violet’s plate.

“Hey!” Bob yelled, outrage on his face. “That was mine.”

“We can share it.” Blu smiled, breaking it in two.

“You guys,” Alexis rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her coffee as she flicked to the next page. “Awww, look!” Alexis lit up, turning the magazine around. “Remember when Lupita Nyong’o wore my dress to the Grammys?”

“Gimme!” Maxwell reached out, snatching it from Alexis' hand and Violet leaned over so she could see too, Jovan inches away from her.

Lupita looked stunning in her dark blue gown, the flowy skirt making her look like a goddess, Alexis’ signature draping all over it.

“She looks great,” Violet said, “You should be very proud.”

“Thanks, girl!”

Violet looked closer at the page, grimacing when she saw Katy Perry’s weirdly unflattering, asymmetrical suit.

“Katy Perry, though, what an absolute mess. It looks as if Maxwell and Jovan collabed while on acid.”

The second the words left her mouth, Violet regretted them.

This was the first time she had spoken her mind around her new coworkers, the first time she had let out her most sarcastic and dry thoughts, her heart speeding up.

Jovan and Maxwell looked at each other, and Violet tensed, prepared for the angry response she was sure would be coming. But instead of snapping at her or putting her in her place, both men burst out laughing, the rest of the group quickly joining in.

This was unlike anything Violet had ever experienced in school, her peers not laughing at her, but apparently with her instead, the feeling completely new. No one giving her death stares or looking at her like she was a stain on a carpet.

“Omigod, draaag them!” Bob exclaimed, wiping his eyes.

“I-” Violet didn’t know what to say. As a child, she had kept her mouth shut, never saying anything, even when it got her in trouble. It had gotten better at the academy, her body speaking for her, but her classmates and coworkers had taken her silence as a judgement, her corrections of their work like attacks instead of the advice she had meant it as.

In college, she had just stopped giving her opinion all together, another girl leaving a critique in tears when Violet had shared her honest thoughts.

“I didn’t mean-”

“Just to be clear,” Maxwell smiled, “I refuse to have this color story pinned on me.”

“Oh girl shut up,” Jovan grabbed the magazine. “It’s not the colors that makes this terrible, it’s the fucking cut. Are you blind?”

“Anything but the neckline is fine.”

“Okay, so you are blind?”

“I think all of it looks like shit too.”

“BLU!”

Violet smiled, watching her coworkers argue, for once, feeling like she completely and absolutely belonged with them.

***

Bianca stepped off the elevator into her foyer, nearly tripping over a pair of studded black combat boots telling her that she wasn’t coming home to her usual empty apartment.

“Adore? Hello? Where are you?”

Bianca walked through the living room and dining room to the kitchen, assuming that’s where she’d find her sister, but there was no Adore to be found.

“Adore!”

She started to get concerned when yipping from the dogs guided her into the den, where Adore was curled up on the giant L-shaped sofa, buried under 3 blankets, a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels sitting on the coffee table.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Adore looked up, blue eyes red and watery, lip quivering, and Bianca immediately softened at the sight.

“What’s wrong?” Bianca asked, although she had a pretty good idea already.

Adore rubbed her eyes and sniffled before saying, “Please just don’t say ‘I told you so,’ okay?”

“Aww, baby girl…” Bianca rushed to her side, wrapping her up into a hug and rocking her, rubbing her back, letting her cry it out. “I’m so sorry, pussycat.”

“I’m so stupid,” Adore cried into her neck, and Bianca shook her head vigorously.

“You’re not. Not at all. She’s the stupid one. Okay?” Bianca murmured against her temple.

“Do you have any ice cream?”

Bianca smiled slightly, brushing away a few of Adore’s tears with her thumbs. “I’ll have some delivered. Cookie dough or fudge brownie?”

“Both.”

“Coming right up.” Bianca pressed a kiss to Adore’s forehead and reached for her phone. The fact that things between Adore and Pearl had ended like this was no surprise, not to anyone with half a brain, but she still felt badly for her sister, would still do anything possible to help her feel better.

***

“Juju!” Raven stood up, smiling brightly as she watched her best friend make her way through the restaurant. “It’s so good to see you!” Raven pulled her in for a hug, breathing in the scent of the coconut oil Juju always used.

“Hi gorgeous!” Juju said, hugging her back, and Raven grinned, pulling back to take her in.

Juju looked amazing, her brown hair styled in her signature curls, her blouse of the day a satin lilac with a bow. And of course that bump, growing every day.

“Mama, how did you grow this much in two weeks?” Raven put a hand on Juju’s belly, a tight pencil skirt holding it in. She couldn’t feel the baby yet, but that didn’t matter.

“My best guess is curly fries.” Juju laughed. “I’ve been hitting up Arby’s on my way home from the salon every day, because I…” Juju framed her face with triumphant jazz hands, “am garbage!”

“That’s why we love you,” Raven giggled, pressing a kiss to her friend’s cheek before getting back into their seats.

Raven and Juju had been friends for years. Raven had liked Juju from the moment they met,  Sutan putting her in Juju’s salon chair the second he had signed her for Elite, but they hadn’t officially clicked until she had started dating Raja.

Raven had never really had a best friend growing up, and she was so happy that she had Juju, even though they didn’t see each other as much as they both wanted to. Raven often visited the Sanderson household, spending her evenings there sometimes when Raja worked late--but with the twins, Detox and Kelly around, they rarely had time just the two of them. So as soon as the waiter came by and took their orders, she got down to business.

“Tell me all about your trip!” Raven said. “How’s the new location doing?”

“Oh man. I mean it’s going well so far, but could I have chosen a worse time to open up a new salon? I’m so busy already, and now this new kid. I’m a little worried.”

Juju’s New York salon was such a success that over the years she’d opened up several more locations: Los Angeles, Miami, and Chicago. And now, her latest one in Atlanta, opened just a month before she’d found out that she was pregnant again.

“If anyone can do it, you can!” Raven told her with an encouraging squeeze, remembering how hectic things had been after the twins were born. “Look at it this way...at least it’s only one baby this time.”

“Ha! That’s true. Anyway, so far so good. Plus it’s around the corner from the best restaurant I have ever been, in my life”

“In Atlanta?” Raven asked, stirring her iced tea, one eyebrow raised.

“Yes, don’t be such a snob!” Juju laughed.

“Whatever you say,” Raven replied.

“Rave, seriously. I mean the food was good, but the desserts?”

Raven perked up, eyes getting bigger and bigger as Juju proceeded to describe a decadent chocolate mousse cheesecake and coconut bread pudding soufflé.

“Stop, omigod!” she finally interrupted, picking up her napkin to fan herself with it. “This is too public. It’s like watching porn on the subway.”

Jujubee laughed, clapping her hands. “Sounds fun! I’m gonna try that. Also...” Juju gestured to the dessert tray rolling by, piled high with confections.

“Ugh, I would push my grandmother in front of a bus for one of those!” Raven groaned, and Juju laughed again.

“So have one! You can’t still be on your runway diet, right?”

“No, I am. “ Raven sighed. “Galactica is doing that showroom thing for the holiday collection next week, and in December I have two swimwear shoots.”

Just thinking about it, Raven groaned. She was excited about the Galactica booking, showroom shows technically way below her level of modeling, but Raven took any excuse she could to work with Raja, spending time with her finacée more than enough reason to put up with the tedious task of playing mannequin for the day.

What was starting not to feel worth it, was the swimwear shoots.

Raven wanted the money, and she was happy she had work, but she couldn’t wait for Thanksgiving, Sutan giving her a mere 6 hours of carte blanche to eat whatever she wanted.

“I’ve been in the gym two hours every day, eating like, grass and leaves.”

Raja had been sweet about it, encouraging her and helping her, but her fiancée just didn’t understand, getting in shape and most importantly keeping the same shape never an issue for Raja, Raja’s measurements largely the same in her 40s as they had been in her 20s. Raven was just happy that Raja seemed to love her body no matter what, the grind of being perfect getting harder and harder every year.

“It’s been horrendous.”

“Aww, I’m sorry boo.” Juju reached over the table, squeezing Raven’s forearm. “If it helps, Kelly’s getting into cooking and yesterday she made us the most god-awful pancakes I’ve ever had. I didn’t want to discourage her so I had five.”

“How is you eating five pancakes supposed to make me feel better?!” Raven shrieked.

“They were terrible!”

“They were pancakes! Do you know how long it’s been since I had a pancake, you fuckin’ bitch?!”

Juju opened her mouth to reply, but instead, caught sight of the absolutely enraged expression on her friend’s face and burst out laughing. Soon both of them were laughing, clutching their sides, completely unconcerned with the number of Upper East Side ladies giving them the stink-eye.

***

COURTNEY: Hey honey, how’s it going?

ADORE: Well. Bianca is keeping the liquor cabinet well-stocked, so...counting my blessings.

COURTNEY: I really want to see you.

ADORE: Me too. Ditch work tomorrow and come hang out with me.

COURTNEY: Ha! I wish.

ADORE: Maybe Friday? Sleepover at my place?

COURTNEY: It’s a date. <3

***

“If you’d please direct your attention to the beading samples in front of you, I’ve made horizontal and vertical variations, the horizontal the pattern I’ve integrated on the bodice-”

As an assistant, Violet had been used to Fame’s steely blue eyes every single day, a squint, a lifted brow, the twist of a mouth more than enough to tell Violet everything she needed to know.

Now, it felt like Fame was a complete stranger, her boss sitting with Raja at her side, both of them completely impassive, Fame’s face not giving anything away.

“And it’s my clear conviction that that will be the best choice, the lines creating a more pleasant visual.”

Violet knew it wasn’t her outfit, her hair styled with a golden clip exactly like Fame liked it, her nails the almond shape and pale pink that was never a problem, her shoes the regulated height so Violet wouldn’t tower over Fame if they had to walk anywhere together.

“For the sleeves, I hope you’ll considered the flared options,” Violet twisted her mannequin, showing off the right sleeve that she had carefully attached with loose stitches to her dress, “But I’ve also done a more traditional slender-”

“Violet.”

Violet froze, looking over at Fame, her boss wearing a white sweater and white high waisted pants, the row of pearls on her Jimmy Choo’s matching her bracelet and earrings.

“That’s all.”

“Oh,” Violet felt her stomach clench, a flash of disappointment washing over her. “Yes Miss.”

Violet grabbed her mannequin, knowing defeat when it was staring her in the face. She had no idea what she had done wrong, Fame cutting her off mid sentence, all the other designers getting feedback or questions.

Violet watched as Alexis rolled up, the other woman instantly filling out the room with her personality, even making Raja laugh as she showed off the several garments she was working on.

Violet swallowed her disappointment, breathing through her nose as she left the meeting room, her nails digging into her palm.

Years of ballet had taught her that sometimes, even your best wasn’t enough, but without feedback, Violet had no idea what to change or how to fix the situation.

She sat at her desk, tailoring thankfully sending up a package with options for details on her prêt-à-porter so she could distract herself.

Violet was going over the button options for the clothes that would end up mass produced for the stores, when she felt Trixie’s hand on her shoulder.

“Good work today Violet.” Trixie smiled, sitting down on the edge of her desk. He was wearing a blue fuzzy sweater with a teddy bear on it, the creation so clearly made by Katya, a clipboard in his hand.

“Thanks.” Violet bit her cheek, doing her best not to let the disappointment show on her face.

“I know it’s tough right now, not knowing where you stand, but remember. You’re most likely already in the collection somewhere.” Trixie’s voice was soft, which actually only made Violet feel worse, his compassion not at all what she needed. “While we’re waiting for placements and final feedback, I need you to focus on Holiday.”

“Yes.” Violet nodded. She only had one piece in the holiday collection, but she still had to do her best.

“Everything is happening Monday, and I hope you’re ready for it. I expect you to be there bright and early, getting to know how these things work will be crucial for your further career here.”

“Yes sir-” Violet cut herself off, the sir feeling all wrong. “You got it coach.”

[florenceandthemachine]

sleeping in the same room with buck is proving to be extremely annoying to eddie because at 2am, they'll be trying to sleep and buck will randomly start singing this is halloween from the damn nightmare before christmas and it's the middle of fucking june, and the only way eddie can get him to stop is to kiss him (for the first time)

“Wait, what do you mean you’ve never seen Toy Story?”

Eddie’s voice is in a weird balance of shock and accusatory, the tone making Buck squirm a little on the couch. Chris had all but conned (well, not really, Buck was just a sucker who didn’t know how to say no) Buck and Eddie into a movie night to start off what was affectionately being called ‘birthday week’. 

After all, it wasn’t every day that your kid turned ten. Double digits were a big deal—Buck may not know the Toy Story, but even he knows that. 

“I don’t know, no? We weren’t really a Disney family growing up.” 

“How is that possible?? You’re basically a Disney prince!”

Eddie has that look on his face, the one he gets whenever Buck tells him something that he thought was normal about his childhood—it’s a combination of sad, and desperate, and a little angry, though Buck can’t figure out why—but he has figured out that defending his childhood doesn’t usually go as well as he hoped.

(“I had food and shelter. What more could I ask for?” Buck asks, one particularly exasperating night, after Eddie gives him that look again. Eddie’s response is so soft, Buck almost misses the “So much more.”)

So they watch Toy Story. It’s not a bad movie, at least. It’s... nicely made. He definitely doesn’t feel his entire body tighten up as the toys strap themselves to a rocket and race after a moving truck. And in no way does he breathe a sigh of relief when they fall through the sunroof. 

The movie was nice, but the bet part of the evening is, by far, Chris falling asleep against his arm. It didn’t register immediately—he just put his arm around Chris instinctively to keep him comfortable—but as the credits roll, Buck can’t help but smile as he looks down. Somewhere in between gently pulling Chris’ glasses off and scooping the little man into his arms, he catches Eddie’s gaze, and he actually feels his breath catch in his throat. 

Because the look on Eddie’s face fills Buck with want. Buck’s seen it before—the soft, dreamy look that Eddie gets more often than not when Buck and Chris interact with one another—but lately, he’s been noticing it more and more, when Chris is nowhere around, at work, on calls, when they’re just hanging out, and it’s dangerous enough that Buck catches himself seeking it out.

Which is a terrible idea, really, one that would only end poorly for him. 

Buck clears his throat to break the spell, nodding to the crutches that Chris left by the couch as Eddie jumps up. “Wanna grab those, and we can get little man to bed?”

Eddie doesn’t know when Chris and Buck fell so in synch with one another, but it lifted a weight on his heart that he didn’t even know was there, knowing that even though Chris didn’t trust easily, he could still trust those that deserved it. He followed Buck’s lead as they got to his room, and had to literally grab onto the doorframe to steady himself as Buck tucked Chris in and kissed his forehead. 

Wishing Buck a goodnight was never easy, but somehow that night was harder than it had ever been. Eddie wanted to reach out, to tell him to wait, to stay, but all he could do was swallow and smile and wave when Buck pulled out of the driveway.

--

Unfortunately, fires did not wait for birthday weeks, and Eddie and Buck were both stuck on an overnight shift a few days later. The beginning of the shift had started out easily enough—back to back calls could keep anyone busy—but Buck felt himself lagging as the night wore on. 

Around three AM, Eddie swooped in and saved him, as he had a knack of doing. Pulling Buck into the media room, he all but dragged him over to the couch, picking a DVD off of the shelf and putting it in as he claimed his space next to Buck. As soon as the Disney castle became clear in the opening credits, Buck snorted, turning toward Eddie as he rose his brow. 

“Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. Chris said Disney would be good for you. If I don’t at least try to fill this apparently horrendous gap in your life, I’m not sure he’ll ever speak to me again.” Eddie said defensively, raising his hands in surrender as Buck laughed. It was always nice to know that Eddie was a full grown man who was so totally bent to the whims of his son. 

More dads could be like that, Buck thought. 

He had to admit, though, he definitely didn’t expect what was coming next. While Toy Story had been emotional, the Lion King was kind of a fucking wreck, hitting him with sucker punches left and right in the first half hour of the movie. 

“What the fuck.” Buck actually found himself whispering as the dust cleared, only to be confronted with Mufasa’s whole fucking corpse, because apparently that passed for okay in a G rated kids movie in the 90′s. “Eddie, what the actual fuck!” he said again as Simba entered the scene, not entirely proud of how his voice cracked. 

Eddie must have heard it too, because the movie was immediately paused, Eddie giving him a concerned once-over before he had to actually hide a smile, the bastard. “Eddie, it’s not funny! This is fucked up! How is this a kids movie!” Buck hissed, reaching out to shove Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie did laugh at that, even if it was a quiet one, and Buck found himself smiling in spite of himself. 

“You want me to continue the movie, or do you need a break?” Eddie teased, but Buck could see it for what it was, an easy out. Waving his hand as he wiped at his cheeks, he sunk deeper into the couch, watching as the scene continued. He didn’t realize how close he had been to Eddie until the other male spoke, voice low in the darkness. “You know, whenever something like this gets to Christopher, he usually lets me hold his hand... just a thought.”

Buck almost laughed at the absurdity of the offer until he turned and faced Eddie head on, the words dying in his throat as he saw just how... soft Eddie looked. The trace of teasing was long since gone, the only proof that he had spoken were the way his lips were slightly parted, and Buck felt color rise in his cheeks once again as he shrugged. 

“Well... I suppose that would be alright. If you do it for Chris, anyway.” he murmured, letting himself move a little closer to Eddie, their shoulders and arms flush against the soft fabric of the cushion beneath them. He felt a shiver dance along his spine as Eddie gently brushed his thumb over Buck’s wrist, never breaking eye contact, and Buck could feel himself drawn in, moving in closer, until—

—until he jumped about a foot in the air as the siren went off, awake and more high-strung than ever as Eddie doubled over laughing.

(The call was a false alarm—and as annoying as that was, when they got back to the firehouse and finished the movie, Eddie didn’t let go of him until they were off the clock that morning. So, Buck reasoned, it wasn’t all bad.)

--

Chris had all but begged to have a sleepover the night before his birthday, and who was Buck to say no?

Granted, he thought that Chris would be inviting his friends over, like, friends from school, and not just Buck, but... that was fine by him. 

(Eddie was a gracious host, at least—he seemed to realize how weird Chris’ request was, and he had given Buck about ten outs at work before Buck had easily shut him up. They had been... flirting? For lack of a better word, for the past few days, and Buck wasn’t afraid to use that to his advantage.

“Eddie, are you telling me you don’t want me to come over and stay the night?” he asked, a grin spreading on his face as Eddie blushed, he actually blushed, and just like that, Buck knew he won that conversation.)

He figured he may as well move up the ranks in Chris’ friend group, so he showed up with pizza and soda, depositing his winnings onto the kitchen counter before joining his Diaz boys on the couch. “Alright, nearly birthday boy, what’s the movie pick for tonight?” he said with a grin, the juxtaposition of Chris’ answering smile and Eddie’s near grimace catching him for a loop. 

“Nightmare Before Christmas!” Chris almost shouted, as Eddie let out a sigh. “It’s his favorite movie.” he explained, making sure that Chris was looking forward before mouthing “I hate it.” Buck only barely managed to catch his laugh as he sat beside the pair, pizza at the ready. 

The movie wasn’t bad, honestly, but even then Buck could absolutely understand how Eddie suffered through the movie whenever Chris demanded. The kid was absolutely entrapped in the entire movie, from skeleton to Santa Claus (”Sandy Claws”, Chris corrected, and Eddie actually groaned). 

One good thing, though, was that the movie was short.

The bad thing about the movie was that meant Chris could ask to watch it again, and neither Buck nor Eddie could find it in their heart to say no. 

The other bad thing—the worst thing, even—was that no matter how hard Buck tried, even as Chris was tucked in and read to, he could not get some of the fucking songs out of his head. He didn’t know the words. Hell, he barely knew the tune. But that didn’t stop him from humming as he and Eddie got ready for bed. 

They were no strangers to sharing a bed—when you were on a twenty four hour shift, you slept where you could, and if that meant sharing a bed, it meant sharing a bed. At the very least, Eddie didn’t have a twin sized bunk. Buck also wasn't a stranger to death threats, which Eddie was full of the longer that Buck hummed.

“Buck, please.” Eddie groaned, one hand reaching over to smack Buck on the chest. “You’re cute and all, and I love how much you’re enjoying your Disney binge and I love that you’re having a good time but if you don’t shut up right now and get some sleep I will actually kill you.”

Needless to say, it works, though probably not for the reasons Eddie intended. Buck can almost feel Eddie drifting off again beside him when he clears his throat—ignoring Eddie’s groan—as he says “You think I’m cute, huh?”

Buck actually felt Eddie freeze for a minute before he rolled over, and the smug grin on Bucks’ face only grew as he came face to face with a scowling Eddie. 

“Yeah, I do. You got a problem with that?”

Buck’s smirk softened into an outright beaming grin, only encouraged as Eddie started to smile back at him. He brought his hand up to Eddie’s hip as they both moved closer together—Buck let his eyes close as he tugged Eddie chest to chest—and then they were kissing. 

It was soft, and it was sweet, and it was perfect. 

The best part, though was the blush that was painted across Eddie’s cheeks when Buck opened his eyes. He brought his hand up from Eddie’s hip to his cheek, stroking it with his thumb. Eddie was cute as fuck, and that was undeniable, but... Buck couldn’t help himself. 

He brought Eddie back into another kiss, painfully—unpleasantly—aware that a kiss was about as far as they would be able to go tonight, with an impatient Chris in the next room. 

That might have been part of the reason that Buck decided to open his mouth—the other reason was probably because he was a child at heart, and nothing would ever change that.

“You’re blushing, you’re blushing! I can’t believe my eyes.”

Eddie actually beamed for a moment, before realization clicked on his face, and he shoved Buck away, groaning as he covered his face with his hands.

“Buck, oh my GOD.”

[prettybuckybaby]

we lay here for years or for hours, so long we become the flowers; chapter two

The avengers babysit, part two

part seven of single parent peter parker

masterlist

read on ao3 here

“I’ll call you when I know you’re with them. Put me on speaker, and then you follow my lead, yeah?”

“Babe, you’re a terrible liar. Are you sure you can pull this off?”

“Shut up! God, I hate you.”

---------------

It’s early on a Saturday evening, and Harley is in the common room, on a mission to beat Clint on every single Mario Kart course. They’re seven courses in, and Harley has won all of the races, much to Clint’s annoyance. Steve and Bucky are watching from the other couch, laughing at Clint’s progressively worsening mood. They’re in the middle of a race when his phone goes off. He answers with one hand, the other still on the controller, and puts his phone on speaker.

“Hey, Parker,” He says, laughing when a green shell he sends backwards hits Clint. “What’s up?”

“Hey-”

“Fuck! How do you keep doing that?”

“Is that Clint?” Peter asks down the call, voice filled with amusement. “What are you doing to him?”

“I’m absolutely wrecking his ass at Mario Kart. You know, normal Saturday afternoon stuff. Everything alright?”

“Yeah. You know how I’m going to that thing with Ned and MJ tonight? Well, like, in an hour or whatever,”

“Yeah? Oh my God, get away from me! Why are you up my ass, Barton?”

“Well, May just got called into work. And Mr Stark and Miss Potts are out of town. I was wondering if you could watch Leia for a few hours?”

“Sorry, Pete,” Harley frowns slightly, drifting around a tight corner. “I’ve got a date tonight, or a totally would,”

“Oh my God, you actually asked Brad on a date?” Peter laughs. “And he said yes?”

“Peter, darlin’, who could resist my charm? YES! Eight down, Barton! You still think you can win this bet?”

“I’m going to get a drink.” Clint growls, throwing his controller down on the couch angrily. “Don’t start the next one without me, Keener.”

“Anyway, I’d love to help you, Peter, but-”

“Don’t worry about it, Harls,” Peter laughs. “I’ll see if Clark’s free. You have fun with Brad,”

“Me and Buck can watch her if you need someone, Peter,” Steve offers. “We’re not doing anything tonight,” Peter hesitates for a few seconds.

“Are you sure, Mr Rogers?” He asks, voice filled with uncertainty. “I don’t want to put you to any trouble.”

“Steve-”

“It’s no trouble, kid,” Bucky says, ignoring Steve completely. “We’d love to have her,”

“Thank you,” Peter sighs, the relief in his voice evident. “Thank you so much. Am I alright to bring her round in about an hour? I’ll have her bathed and everything so you can just have some fun or whatever,”

“Sure thing, Pete,” Steve tells him. “You want us to have her all night or are you picking her up?”

“Erm. Well, the thing should be finished by like, 9? Half past at the latest, so I’ll probably come and crash at the tower, because I was gonna come down tomorrow to do something in the lab anyway. Easier if I’m already there, you know?”

“Okay,” Steve agrees easily. “We’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah. Thanks again, Mr Rogers, Bucky,”

“Steve. No problem, kid,”

“See you soon, Mr Rogers,” Peter says cheerfully, hanging up before Steve can correct him again. Steve rolls his eyes, but his smile betrays whatever annoyance he is pretending to feel.

“So,” Bucky says, looking up from the book he is reading and watching Harley texting someone, a smile on his face. “You’ve got a date?”

“Yeah?” Harley asks, yelping when Clint starts the next race while he’s looking at his phone. “That’s cheating, Barton!” Clint just laughs at him. “But yeah. What’s up with that?”

“Nothing.” Bucky replies carefully, looking back down at his book and shrugging nonchalantly. “Just thought you had a thing for spider boy,”

“What?” Harley laughs. Clint groans as Harley overtakes him. “No. I mean, I love Peter, sure. But not like that.” He denies, sending a green shell backwards again. Clint swears loudly when it hits its target. “He’s my best friend.”

“Buck was my best friend when we were your age,” Steve joins in. “That doesn’t mean I didn’t love him then.”

“You know what? You’re right.” Harley nods seriously. “Maybe when I’m ninety-seven, I’ll find out he’s still alive and I’ll realise I’ve been in love with him the whole time,” The teen smirks when Bucky laughs loudly.

-----------------

“Thank you for this,” Peter says sincerely as Leia runs up to Bucky. He smiles when she giggles when Bucky lifts her up and spins her around. “I know it was last minute, but I really owe you one, Cap. I promise, I won’t be on my phone the next time you have a boring meeting. I will pay attention. The whole time.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Peter,” Steve rolls his eyes fondly. Peter punches Harley on the shoulder when the older teen snorts. Peter looks down when his phone goes off, smiling down at it. He pockets the phone, before looking back up at Leia.

“Right, I’ve gotta go. You’ll be okay?” He asks her, ruffling her hair. She grins, nodding quickly, her hair bouncing. “Good. I’ll come and check on you when I get back, alright? I love you,”

“I love you, Daddy,” She giggles when Peter pokes her stomach. He smiles, picking up his backpack again. He kisses her cheek before making his way towards the lift.

“Have a good time with, Brad, loser,” He smiles over his shoulder at Harley. “Hope you get lucky,” He laughs when Harley just winks at him.

“Bye, Daddy!” Leia calls. Peter waves until the doors close. “We gonna paint, Stevie?” She asks, eyes wide as she looks over at Steve.

“We can if you want to, sweetie,” He smiles. “We’ll have to go upstairs, though,” He muses. Leia just nods, peering down at Bucky.

“Will you paint too, Buck?” She asks, voice sweet and eyes hopeful.

“I don’t know, ptichka.” Bucky frowns slightly, lifting her down from his shoulders and placing her on his hip. “Painting isn’t really my thing. It’s Steve’s area of expertise,”

“Please?” She pouts up at him, widening her eyes again and rubs one of her hands over the stubble on his chin. “Please, Buck?”

“Okay,” He sighs, ignoring the smirks Steve and Harley both send him. He accidentally kicks Harley’s leg and bashes into Steve on his way towards the lift. “I guess. But I’m doing this because I want to. This is my choice. Your puppy dog eyes and cute face have no effect on me.”

“Thank you, Buck,” She grins up at him.

“Have a good night, Harley,” Steve smiles at the teen before following Bucky and Leia into the lift.

“Thanks, Cap,” Harley replies, glancing up from his phone and smiling. “See you tomorrow.”

---------------

Even though he tried to decline joining them for painting, Steve smiles when he sees Bucky smiling and actually enjoying himself while he helps Leia paint. They’re in Steve’s art studio, with Steve sitting at the window, sketch book in his lap and pencils scattered around him, positioned so he can see out of the full-length window. He can also see Leia and Bucky, positioned at one of Steve’s easels. Leia’s standing on a chair, one of Buck’s shirts over her clothes. Bucky’s standing beside her, holding a pallet of paints up for her to use with one hand, the other hand hovering behind her just in case she stumbles. Every so often, she hands him the paint brush, letting him add to their painting.

She gives up on the paint brush at some point, opting instead to just stick her fingers into the paint and smearing it over the canvas. She looks up at Bucky every time he puts the brush on the canvas again and frowns, poking him on the cheek with her clean hand.

“Buck,” Steve sighs from across the room when, after another poke, Bucky pokes Leia’s own nose with the tip of the paint brush, getting green paint on her nose. “She’s had a bath,”

“So?” He fires back, repeating the action on Leia’s cheek and grinning when she giggles. “There a water shortage or something, punk?”

“No,” Steve sighs again. “Just try not to get it everywhere,” Bucky nods at him. As soon as Steve turns back to his sketch book, Bucky prods the other side of Leia’s face with the brush, smearing paint across the skin.

“You wanna play a game?” Bucky asks. He grins when Leia nods her head up at him. He changes so there’s a blank canvas on the easel and drags a table over to rest the pallet on so it’s still in Leia’s reach. “Okay. Imma paint something on your back, and you’ve gotta copy it, okay? You want a brush, or you gonna carry on with your fingers?” Leia replies by poking Bucky’s face, getting paint on his face. He frowns playfully while she giggles. “Alright, you know what you’re doin’?”

“Yeah,” She giggles again, spinning around to face the canvas. She wobbles slightly, grabbing hold of Bucky’s arm to steady herself.

“Leia, sweetheart-” Steve panics slightly when he sees Leia grab onto the metal and sees Bucky freeze momentarily, but the other man cuts him off.

“It’s alright, Stevie,” He smiles. “Hey.” He pokes Leia’s side. “You got paint on my arm.” He tells her, nodding down at the multi-colour handprint on the metal forearm.

“Sorry, Buck,” She frowns, but her eyes sparkle.

“S’okay,” He shrugs. “Don’t worry about it, luchik. It needed some decoration, anyway,” He raises an eyebrow when Leia pokes the arm, looking confused.

“Vibrain’um?” Bucky nods slowly.

“You got your Daddy’s brains, huh?” He asks, poking her side again. Leia giggles. “Yeah, it’s vibrainium.”

“Oh.” She says and gives it one last poke. “Game now?”

“Yeah,” Bucky laughs, twisting her body so she’s facing the canvas again. “Remember, you’re copying, yeah?”

---------------

Leia grins at the painting she’s created, trying her best to copy the movements that Bucky made on her back. When the man puts the paintbrush down, balancing it on the paint pallet, he places his hands gently on her shoulders and squeezes.

“Looks good, ptichka,” He smiles down at her. “You gotta sign it though. That’s what all the professional artists do,” Leia frowns slightly before her face clears. Before Bucky can stop her, she dips her hand into the wet paint on the pallet and presses her hand onto the corner of the canvas. She holds her paint covered hand up to him.

“You too,”

“You want me to sign it?” He asks, confused. Leia nods, grinning up at him, and he can’t help but return it. “Alright,”

“No!” She tells him when he reaches for a pen. “Got’s to do it wi’ your hand, Buck,”

“Okay,” He laughs. He hears Steve snicker when he does what Leia did; he places his hand directly onto the pallet. When Leia is happy with the spread of paints on the metal, he presses the hand gently onto the other empty corner of the canvas. “Get over here, punk,” He throws over his shoulder to Steve, who immediately puts his sketchbook down and pushes himself up. “You gotta see what Da Vinci here has done,”

“Oh, wow,” Steve gasps when he comes over. “You were copying what Buck was painting on your back?”

“Yeah!”

“Buck, buddy, I don’t wanna hurt your feelings, but yours sucks in comparison,”

“Thanks, Rogers. Appreciate it,” Bucky says, rolling his eyes and bumping his shoulder into Steve’s. The other man just grins at him. He grabs a pack of wipes from the side of the room. “Right, come here, zayka. Let’s get this paint off you before we get you something to eat, yeah?”

“Okay,” Leia giggles as Bucky wipes the paint off her skin. She wrinkles her nose when he scrubs at her cheeks.

“Right. That’ll do. Arms up,” He lifts the shirt off her body, nodding when he sees that none of the paint has gotten onto her clothes. “Good. What do you wanna eat, schast'ye?”

“Um,” She scrunches her nose again when she thinks, while Bucky picks her up and starts walking towards their kitchen. “Pizza?”

“Yeah? You wanna make your own?” He asks, laughing when she nods quickly and claps her hands. “You coming, Stevie?” Steve follows the two of them into the kitchen area, rolling his eyes when Bucky places Leia straight onto the countertop. He reaches up and grabs a bowl out of the cupboard. “Okay, Leia, this is going to be the best pizza you’re ever going to eat.”

---------------

Peter is back at the tower at seven minutes past nine. He half expects for FRIDAY to tell him that Leia is still up and about, full of energy, so he’s kind of surprised when the AI tells him that she’s in her bedroom, with Steve telling her a story. He’s purposely quiet when he makes it up to the penthouse, not wanting to get her excited when she should be sleeping.

“And then we spent our train money on hot dogs,” Steve is saying as Peter settles against the doorway of his daughter’s room.

“How’d you get home?” Leia mumbles, shuffling around and peering up at Steve.

“We got a ride on the back of a freezer truck,” Steve laughs. “Right, you promised you’d be asleep by now. Why are you trying to stay awake?”

“Wanna see Daddy,” She murmurs. Steve coos softly at her, rubbing her shoulder lightly. “Said he’d see me when he comes back,”

“Hi, Princess,” Peter says from the doorway, pushing himself up and walking into the room. Leia grins at him sleepily when she sees him.

“Daddy!” Peter sits on the floor in front of her bed, bringing one of his hands up to pinch her cheek softly.

“What’re you doing awake, sweet? It’s late,”

“Want…wanted to see you. Missed you,” She says, yawning. Her eyes flutter closed. “Stevie was tellin’ me ‘bout Buck,”

“Was he?” Peter smiles, glancing up at Steve. “You think if Stevie told you one more story you’d go to sleep?” She blinks her eyes open again and looks up at Peter before nodding her head.

“Stay?” She asks softly, reaching out for him with one hand. He smiles, taking her little hand in his own, and brings it to his lips, planting a soft kiss on it.

“Always,” He listens as Steve tells her a story about him and Bucky and their first home together in Brooklyn, holding her hand while she falls asleep.

[is0gild]

Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 19

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 9,165

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

Neverland, as I was currently discovering, was a huge indoor playground at the Dusk Town Center mall. A place where children never had to grow up, or so its big overhead sign boasted. Its vast range of diversions for the little ones included such attractions as a jungle gym in the shape of a large comical skull, a huge green plastic alligator that had a slide built into its long back, and monkey bars supported at either end by large, spooky prop trees. Off in one corner, there were even synthetic, cute yet culturally problematic teepees for the tiny tots to crawl around and hide in. But its crowning jewel seemed to be the kiddie train that ran along the tracks circling the entire play area. Each of its carts were actually little pirate ships that could fit one child in it, maybe two if they were really little.

Since the playground was in the middle of a wide open mall walkway, many stores surrounded it, such as an antique shop by the name of Cave of Wonders. Beyond the rusty brass lamps in its window and past an old, tacky purple carpet draping off a shelf, a friendly young woman with long black hair tied back into a two-sectioned ponytail and wearing a turquoise crop top could be seen running the counter.

Next door to that was Game-A-Saurus Rex, a video game store sporting a green t-rex mascot as part of its logo. An absolute giant of an employee with messy brown hair was currently setting up a display pyramid but his meaty, clumsy hands accidentally knocked it over, wrecking it. I got the feeling this wasn't the first time from the look of being one hundred percent done he was receiving from his silver haired coworker with mismatched eyes.

Neighboring them, I was a bit surprised to discover there was even an Esmerelda's Secrets here as well, a… ahem, lingerie store, to use a more PG term. I found its location so near to the play area to be a bit of a questionable mall layout choice.

I sighed, paper bag lunch crinkling in my grip as I glanced around.

Where was he?

"Are you sure this is where he told you he wanted to meet up?" Kristoff asked beside me, his eyes scanning about as well. Thankfully, he'd forgiven me by now for the minor phone-hurling fiasco and we were back on speaking terms again.

"Positive," I fished my mobile out of my pocket with my free hand, rereading Lea's text asking me to head to Neverland once my lunch break had started.

Since I'd never heard of it before, I'd asked Kristoff (him being the closest person at hand since he'd been working the Ice Palace registers with me) if he'd known what it was. I figured he could at least point me in the right direction, which would be faster than looking at a mall directory. Instead, since he was getting off shift the same time I was going on lunch, he'd offered to walk me there, saying it was on his way anyway.

But now here we were and a certain redhead was nowhere to be seen.

"Bah, I'm sure he'll turn up any second now," Kristoff shrugged off with a laugh. I said nothing, just continued to frown down at my phone before raising my eyes to take another look around. Shoving one of his hands into his pocket while he used the other to ruffle the hair at the back of his head, Kristoff said, "So… your sister…"

"Anna? What about her?" I muttered distractedly, gaze still jumping from face to unfamiliar face. Come on, Lea was a friggin' mountain with hair like a beacon that could light a path home for even the most wayward of lost ships. The guy should have been sticking out like a sore thumb.

He pursed his lips to one side, slightly widened eyes darting about now. "She's… well, she's really… neat." I blinked, slowly looking over at him now. He stiffened, then gave a weak chuckle, "Did I say neat? Not neat, I meant, ah… pretty!" His face blanched. "Pretty… pretty, pretty swell, that is! Yeah, a real bangarang," insert his wince here, "gal that, uh... that's really, er…"

Annnnnd now he was blushing. What was with him, anyway? It was so unlike him to be getting all tongue-tied and-

Oh.

Oh dear. I knew what this was.

Someone had a crush.

Ugh, why did I have to be the one to break his heart by telling him my sister was already in a relationship?

"...anyway," his voice cracked and he coughed, beating a fist to his chest before trying again. "Anyway, what I'm trying to say, or… rather ask is... would you know if, ah… is... is she seeing any-" his idly wandering gaze landed on something past me and he froze, words dying on his tongue. Then his eyelids drooped. "...I think I found your boyfriend."

My brow furrowed at the face he was making before I turned on my heel, following his gaze.

I heard them before I saw them. Cheerful whoops and hollers echoing from the plastic tunnel over the railroad tracks, heralding the emerging train of pirate ships. Then there they were: Lea and Roxas, taking up a full boat each as the locomotive chugged along, their hands thrown up high over their heads as they cackled in almost maniac glee. The two kids in the cart behind them - a carrot top boy in a green cap embroidered with a red feather logo and a little blonde girl wearing toy fairy wings - were giving them funny looks.

I spluttered, my fingers shooting up to smother and hide the grin I was fighting. This was behavior I did not want to encourage.

There he was, ladies and gentlemen. My bad-boy boyfriend in all his glory.

I hope the Duke's spy wasn't here to witness this.

Scratch that, I'd rather no one were here to witness this.

"Those goddamn morons have been at this for over ten minutes now," I heard a grumble from a familiar voice close by. I looked to my right to discover Xion standing there, watching them with a scowl and one eye twitching. As the train drew near, she called out flatly, "Oh yeah, looking real classy there, guys!"

"We're posh as fuck!" Lea replied smugly with a pinky raised, heedless of what nearby young and impressionable ears might overhear. Then his eyes drifted past her to notice me for the first time. His already beaming face did the impossible and brightened even further. As his little pirate ship choo-chooed its way past us, he cried out, "There you are, El! 'Bout time! We're celebrating!"

"El? Who's El? No, you must have me mistaken for someone else. I don't know you," I shook my head, taking a step back. "Quick, let's get out of here," I hissed to Kristoff, snatching his arm with one hand and using the other to hide my face as I tried to make a hasty retreat.

"Oh-ho, no ya don't! You're not getting away that easily!" I heard Lea laugh behind me. I hazarded a quick glance over my shoulder to see him struggling to get out of the cart - he was wedged in there pretty good, seeing as how those boats were never meant to withstand a man of his considerable stature. However, he finally managed to wiggle himself free and jump off the moving kiddie train, stumbling over the railing surrounding it and leaving poor Roxas behind looking quite distraught at having been abandoned.

Then he was charging towards me and I spun around to face him, defensively throwing my hands up in front of me. "Got ya!" he declared triumphantly, snagging me by the waist, my arms instinctively going to hug his neck as he lifted me up and spun me around a couple times.

What was even happening?

"Right," Kristoff said. Don't ask me how, but I could distinctly hear the eyeroll in his voice. "I think I'm gonna go now."

He walked off and I frowned after him as Lea put me back down, though his arms still kept me trapped against him. Then I shrugged. Kristoff's wee crush would have to be a problem for another day. Looking up at Lea, I shook my head with a barely suppressed smile, "What has you so giddy?"

"I got my test grade back today," he chirped, nuzzling his nose to mine for all the crowded mall to see.

"Your test?" I cocked my head at him. Then it clicked. "Oh, the one I helped you study for? You passed?"

"Passed nothing, I aced that sucker! Made it my bitch and it was all thanks to you!" And with that, he was hoisting me up for another twirl.

"Dude, what the hell?!" a shout suddenly rang out across the mall before Roxas came bursting out of the press of shoppers, sneakers screeching to a halt in front of us as he glared at Lea. "Can't believe you just ditched me like that! I looked like a total dumbass riding that thing all by myself!"

"Oh sure," Xion deadpanned at his side, "cuz you looked like a regular Einstein before as a grown-ass man riding around in the widdle choo-choo train with another grown-ass man."

Roxas crossed his arms and stuck his nose up in the air with a harrumph. "You're just jelly cuz we didn't invite you."

She scoffed, "You didn't invite me cuz I turned you guys down the last ten times you tried to drag me onto that dumb thing because I didn't want to look stupid."

"Your face looks stupid!"

Xion lunged at him, but Lea had already put me down and was snagging them both by the scruff of their shirt collars, dragging them apart from each other. He sighed, "Kiddos, please, would you start acting like the grown-ups that you are?"

Said the adult man who'd just been joyriding in the kiddie train.

Seriously, how were these three even college students? They all acted like a bunch of preschoolers.

"Ha, fat chance with this dope," Xion snerked, reaching across to flick Roxas in the forehead.

"Why you-" he broke free of Lea's grasp. Xion gasped and managed to squirm loose herself, bolting and squealing with laughter as she disappeared into the crowd, Roxas hot on her heels.

"Oi, kids these days. I give up," Lea grumbled, shaking his head and tossing his hands up in defeat. "Now where were we?" Looking back at me, his eyes lit up. "Ah yes," he bent forward, bringing us nose to nose with a tiny smirk, "my reward."

Both eyebrows shot up my forehead and I staggered back a bit. "Your… reward?"

"Mm-hm!" he nodded, grin twitching wider. "For kicking that test's ass, I get a reward! It's standard girlfriend protocol."

I blinked, "...it is?"

"Didn't ya read your dating handbook?"

...there's a handbook?!

Wait. No. That was just a joke.

And wishful thinking on my part.

Because I mean, seriously, how much easier would my life be right now if I could consult a handbook?

That aside, I had to get back to the matter at hand: some kind of reward for Lea. Which was my duty as the girlfriend. Apparently. What did that even entail? What was it supposed to be? What was I supposed to do? My face paled and my hands clenched. This was too much responsibility to be thrust onto me all of a sudden! What, was I supposed to buy him something? Or… maybe this was this another PDA situation? I mean, I hadn't made a move in that department since the roller rink a couple days ago. If tripping and crashing into him even counted. Which, personally, I was still chalking up as one for the win column. Had to take my small victories wherever I could! That said… perhaps it was high time I gave it another go?

Yes. Okay. I was going to do this. This… I was going to do.

My gaze hardened and my nostrils flared slightly as I started taking deep, sharp breaths, psyching myself up.

I got this. No more putting it off. Be strong! Be brave! Carpe diem! Seize the day! Grab the bull by the horns! Strike while the iron's hot!

Lea snerked, straightening up, "Woah, El, your face! Relax! I'm kidding! Just teasing ya like I always-"

YOLO!

I dropped my lunch bag, grabbed his head in both hands, yanked him down and kissed him.

...on the nose.

Way to bury the lead there, I know.

But hey, it still counted! Let me have this!

I held it for the space of a few thundering heartbeats before I pulled back, releasing his face and doing my best to ignore the slight jitters I felt from the adrenaline surge.

Lea was stock-still and just giving me a blank, wide-eyed stare.

Huh… not the reaction I was expecting.

A few long seconds ticked by where nothing happened. My eyes darted about nervously. Then I slowly, awkwardly picked my lunch sack back up off the floor. And still nothing from him. Nada. Not one peep.

Should… should I say something?

That's when he jolted upright (startling me half to death, I might add) and brought both his hands up to cup his nose, spinning around so his back was to me now.

Okay, really, really not the reaction I was expecting. At all. Just what-

Then it hit me.

I hadn't asked his permission first! And after he'd been so careful with me all this time too! Apparently I couldn't even return the favor! Fudge, this was like the Kissident all over again. Except worse! At least then, it'd been an accident. This time I'd done it on purpose! This was premeditated! Not to mention this now made me a repeat offender! A… a serial kisser! Would my reign of smooching terror never cease?

Anxiety eating up at me now like a swarm of angry ants in the pit of my stomach, I bit down on my bottom lip and took a hesitant step forward. "Lea?" I asked, my voice small. "Did I do something wrong or-"

"Nope! No, it was good. Really, really good," he said quickly, voice tight and muffled still by his hands. Then I heard him puff out a slow breath, watched his arms fall to his sides and he whipped around towards me once more, huge smile splitting his face in two. "So good, in fact, it's high-five worthy. Whaddya say, wanna high-five? Let's high-five." He held his palm up in front of me. I wordlessly stared back at him, arching an eyebrow. He was being weird, even for him. And why was he talking so fast? He hastily dropped his hand, "Not high-five. Forget that. That's stupid. We should, uh… we should go. Wanna go? Let's go."

As he snagged my free hand in his and tugged me into a walk beside him, I tipped my head to the left and uncertainly gave him some side-eye. "...where are we going?"

Seemingly already recovered, his grip shifted to instead hook our pinkies together as he shot me a wink. "Where all couples sneak off to whenever they have a lil free time. Somewhere dark, secret and secluded so," here he raised his voice for all to hear over the mall hub-bub, "we can make out!"

My feet faltered and I stumbled, barely catching myself as my face spontaneously broke out into its best impersonation of a tomato. "M-make out?!"

He snorted, bending close to my ear and whispering, "Calm down, only said it for show. We'll just find some place to lay low until your lunch is over and let the gossip mill churn." Straightening back up to his full height, he beamed, "Sound good, my knuddelbärchen?" A crease formed between my eyebrows and he chuckled. "Go on, ask. Ya know ya want to."

I sighed, "And knuddelbärchen is…?"

"German for cuddle bear," he pinched my cheek.

"No."

"You can sleep on it, then get back to me."

I rolled my eyes but held my tongue as I continued to let him lead the way to wherever it was we were going. It wasn't long before we entered a part of the mall I was more familiar with and he turned us down the deserted wing that was under construction. Ah, back to the clocktower then, was it? So be it.

Once the locked door was picked and we were inside, I started to head for the stairs but he stopped me with a hand on my elbow. At my questioning look, he said, "Dunno where the kiddos disappeared off to. They may have beat us to the punch and could be up there already, which'll totally bust our whole fake make-out sesh. Better to just hide out down here instead."

"Alright," I nodded as he released my arm.

And there it was again. That strangeness that seemed to hang in the air whenever we were alone together now. Whenever we didn't have to put on the act of being in a relationship. I was now so used to him lacing our fingers together every chance he got that when he didn't this time, instead opting to stuff his hands into his pockets with a grin and a soft "heh," my own hand almost felt… slighted? Bereft? Sad? Could hands even feel sad? Well, whatever the hand equivalent of sadness was, it felt that.

There were a couple large, dusty crates stored in here with us at the bottom of the clocktower. I stepped over to one, gingerly dusting off the surface before setting my paper bag down on top of it. Then I cleared my throat and looked to him with a small, timid smile. "This whole rent-a-boyfriend thing is really becoming a full time job now, isn't it? Sorry… to be wasting your time like this. I'm sure there are better ways you'd be preferring to spend it rather than stuck here with me."

Lea blinked at me, then huffed out a breath of a laugh. "Hey, you already forgetting whose idea it was for us to steal away on our own like this? Ya got nothing to be sorry for. I like this, it's fun! 'Sides," he moved to stand in front of me, leaning one shoulder against the wooden support beam there that was holding up the decrepit old staircase above us, "it's not a waste. I'm a big fan of my El time. Love having any excuse to hang out with ya and have you all to myself."

Cue heart spasm.

Dropping my gaze and tugging my Ice Palace cap down to hide my warming cheeks, I zeroed in on opening my lunch bag with far more acute focus than was absolutely necessary. Let's see what Mama Rayne had packed for me today, inquiring minds were simply dying to know. To him, I just mumbled, "To each their own, I guess."

"So…" he reached a hand out, index finger flicking the bill of my hat back up so he could meet my eyes when he smirked, "...you kissed me."

All color drained from my face.

Crud. Was hoping this wouldn't come up.

"I'm sorry!" came bursting out of me.

His head rocked back before he snorted and sighed, "You apologize too much, ya know that? Fine, I'll bite. What're you sorry for now?"

"I should've asked if that was okay before I did it!" I took off my cap, wringing it between my hands. "I overstepped, I shouldn't have just assumed! I hope I didn't freak you out or make things awkward or uncomfortable or, or weird or-"

"Woah, woah, slow down," he chuckled, holding up his hands. "Ya got nothing to worry about. I was totally, one hundred and ten percent cool with it!"

My eyebrows knit together. "Really?" I frowned, absently setting the hat down on the box. "But you seemed so… I thought I might've upset you or-"

"Upset? Nah, not even a lil bit! Surprised, maybe, cuz I never in a million years expected you to, ah… heh…" he paused, pursing his lips to the right as he dragged his hand along the nape of his neck. Then he closed his eyes in a grin, "How 'bout this? This, right here, right now, is me giving you the okay to do whatever you want to me from now on in order to maintain your girlfriend cover. Anything goes, got it?"

Eyes growing round, I stammered, "A-anything?"

He couldn't be serious! Anything was a lot. Anything was… well, anything.

"Yup, anything! Don't hold back. Just feel free to go to town on me."

This was too much power. Do not want. Take it back.

"I, uh…" What does one even say to that? "O-okay… thanks?" Was this something I should be thanking him for? Seemed like a weird thing to thank him for. This whole discussion just seemed weird, period. Concentrating on my packed lunch once more, I pulled out a ziplock of baby carrots. "...I don't think I'll be, er… going to town on you any time soon though, but the offer is, ah…" Is what? "...appreciated?" Sure, let's go with that.

"Shame," Lea tsked under his breath, then snerked as his hand shot up to block the carrot I threw at him. "Kidding, kidding! Still, just know that door's always open, in case ya ever wanna put on a bit of a show for any audience we might have. I won't be bothered. Promise."

"I'll keep that in mind," I muttered, taking out a second carrot to nibble on as I averted my gaze. Was ready to talk about something else now.

"Still, fact of the matter remains," one corner of his lips curled up, "you kissed me."

Gah! Would he stop saying that already!

A soft harrumph. "Only on the nose."

"One lucky nose!" He hunched forward slightly, pointing at it, "I'll have you know I'm never gonna wash this puppy ever again."

I snorted, setting the ziplock down on the box and reaching back into the paper sack to see what other goodies it contained. "Be serious."

"I am! Wouldn't wanna lose the divine blessing you've bestowed upon it on this fine day!"

Biting back a smile now as I continued to root around in the bag, I shook my head. "Does this mean that you also haven't washed your lips since the-" I abruptly froze, eyes widening and mouth clamping shut.

There was a pause, then I could see out of my peripheral the slow cheshire grin spreading across Lea's face. "Go on, since the…?"

Since the Kissident, was what I'd been about to say.

I knew it.

He knew it.

But did I have the guts to actually power through and finish that sentence?

Frantic fingers grabbing the first thing they could out of the lunch sack, I shoved it into his face with a weak laugh, "Chocolate pudding cup?"

Nope. I sure as heck most certainly did not.

Elsa, Queen of the Skillful and Seamless Subject Change.

"Oo!" he chirped in delight, taking it. Well, he was easily distracted. That, or he was just being nice and letting me off the hook. Probably the latter. "A nose kiss and pudding? Big day!"

With a soft, relieved sigh through my nostrils, I fished out a plastic spoon to hand him as well. "Don't forget about the train ride too. Big day indeed… do you and Roxas do that often?"

Having already torn into it and taken a spoonful into his mouth, he swallowed. "Not really. Only for special occasions. Wouldn't wanna cheapen the experience."

My eyes crinkled. "Because it's already so sophisticated and highbrow to begin with," I said, forgoing the PB and J sandwich at the bottom of the bag for now and instead opting to pull out some string cheese. Removing the wrapper, I asked, "Passing an exam counts as a special occasion?"

"Only the hard as balls ones that can make or break my overall grade for the course," he shrugged, scooping out some more pudding and offering it to me, to which I just shook my head.

"Ah," I rested one hip against the crate, peeling off a thin strip of mozzarella and slipping it into my mouth. "How many years do you have left on your degree anyway?"

"Couple more. Though I hear if I'm a model student, they'll let me graduate early for good behavior."

"Don't think that's how it works," I hummed a low laugh. "Then after that… what was it again? ...a nice little ice cream shanty by the seashore, I believe?"

Lea grinned around his spoon, "Something like that."

Pulling off another strand, I hesitated with a slight frown. "...but why ice cream?" At his cocked head and raised eyebrows, I worried my lower lip between my teeth. How to phrase this? "...it's just been something I've been wondering about actually. What with your mother dropping you off at an ice cream shop before she, ah... split when you were so little, I would have thought it would just be a… a source of bad memories, is all."

He snorted, looking down at his spoon as he swirled it around in the chocolate goop. "S'not the ice cream's fault my deadbeat mom abandoned Saïx and me when we were kids. She's taken a lot from me, I won't let her take that too. 'Sides, also got a lotta good memories tied to ice cream. Fun times with friends and whatnot. It's nice that something so simple can bring a smile to people's faces and I just like the idea of being a part of that. Sounds silly, I know, but what can I say?" He thrust the now heavily pudding-laden utensil up high in the air, "I have a calling! And answer it I must!"

I brought a curled finger to my lips, hiding the tiny smile. "Some calling. You still haven't even guessed which one's my favorite yet."

"Told ya, it's a process," he stuck the spoon into his mouth, holding it there as he squinted thoughtfully. "Speaking of… lessee, what other flavors haven't come up yet… ah! Three Wishes?" he asked, pointing the plastic implement at me. Then he scoffed, "Yeah right. Way too gimmicky with all that blue cotton candy. It's trying too hard. Classy and effortless is more your speed."

My smile ticked wider as my fingers plucked further at the string cheese. "Are we still even talking about ice cream anymore?"

"Course! Trust me, I've got this down to a science. I know my shit."

"If you say so," I gave a soft snort. "You really have me at the edge of my seat here. I can't wait to see which one you finally land on."

"Me neither. I'm just as much on this journey as you are," he chuckled, tossing the now empty cup onto the crate alongside the paper bag. Propping one shoulder against the post again, he looked down and scratched his cheek. "...hey, so, ya free in a couple nights? Saïx's been wanting to meet my new lady friend and suggested we have you over for dinner."

Finishing the last of my own snack, I quirked an eyebrow at him. "He knows you have a lady friend?"

"Wasn't hard for him to guess since I've been out all night a lot recently, what with your couch being my new home away from home."

"Oh." My fingers reached for a tendril of my ponytail to twist as I mulled for a second. "Yeah, I suppose… I don't have any closing shifts coming up for a while, so I'm free for the next few nights. Just let me know when."

"Sweet! We can see this as a test run of sorts. Practice for the big weekend with your folks and-" he suddenly fell silent, head jerking to his right. I blinked, confused. Then I heard it too. This soft rattling coming from the doorknob - the telltale sounds of a lock being picked. "Crap! The kiddos! Hide," Lea hissed, grabbing my shoulders and shoving us both beneath the staircase, my back hitting the wall behind me.

The door burst open. I didn't so much see it since the stairs were now between me and it, blocking my line of sight, but I heard it along with the echoing laughter of two very familiar voices. As it slammed shut again and the staircase began to quake from feet running up it hard, I heard Xion ask, "Think we'll find them up there?"

"Probably." That was Roxas. I turned my head to the left, watching through the slats between the steps as his sneakers blurred past. "Giving each other tonsillectomies, no doubt."

My face heated as I realized they were talking about Lea and me.

But good news! Lea's plan was working. People thought we were off somewhere, er... shall we say, necking.

Or at the very least, those two thought so anyway.

I heard a snigger from Xion as her boots rushed past the gap not too far behind him. "Perfect. Let's scare them shitless."

They both cackled and tried to shush each other at the same time as I heard their thudding footsteps fade further and further away above us. Once I was certain they were gone, I puffed out the breath I'd been holding.

That's when I became aware of several things. Very, very aware.

Aware of the familiar feeling of Lea's eyes on me. Aware of how close we were. Of his grip still on my shoulders. Of my hands on his chest. Of the gentle thud of his heartbeat beneath my fingertips. Of his warm, spicy boy scent. Of his body pressed to mine, pinning me to the wall still from his rush just seconds ago to get us both out of sight. Of the fact that I could still sense his gaze on me.

Oh gosh, was there something on my face?

I slowly turned my head to look up at him and meet his eyes. He had that look in them again that I'd seen once or twice before. The one that made my insides twist and flip-flop.

Emergency! This is not a drill, people! Fetch the conceal-don't-feel armor and suit up, stat! I repeat, this is not a drill!

The slightest hint of a grin tugged at the corner of his lips and when he spoke, his voice was low. Barely above a whisper. "You know what would… really sell this make-out sesh? ...if right along here..." he ran the tip of his index finger along the side of my neck down to where it met my shoulder, so lightly I hardly felt it, his eyes following its trail the whole time, "...there was a hickey. Maybe two or three. Ya know… just for appearances, of course..."

I just stared at him for a second. Then two. Then I smiled, "That's a great idea!"

He looked taken aback, his gaze widening. "Wait, really?!"

"Of course! Did you bring any makeup with you?" I asked. He just gave me a blank look. "You know, like your guyliner. Do you have anything else? Something that could make the fake marks look convincing?"

He blinked a couple times. "Makeup… right… that's what I meant… heh..." his eyes darted to the left. "But shoot, you know what? Didn't bring any with me." A slow smirk stretching across his face now, he bent down to press his forehead to mine as his eyes hooded, "But hey... we could also always make 'em the old fashioned way."

Once more I stared, expression neutral.

Processing… processing…

Then my eyelids drooped. "...you're messing with me again, aren't you?"

Lea stiffened. Then he relaxed, straightening back up and bracing an elbow against the wall above my head, resting his brow to his forearm as his whole body shook with a soft chuckle. "Yup! Yup, you uh… you caught me alright! Totes was."

Conceal-don't-feel armor saves the day once again! If it hadn't been for that, my heart might have exploded in that situation.

Man, was I getting good at deflecting these little jokes of his now or what?

He shifted over and away from me, giving us both some breathing room now. "Do you think maybe we should go somewhere else?" I asked, my gaze drifting up the clocktower as I returned to the crate, repacking my lunch back into its bag and picking up my hat. Thank goodness the "kiddos" hadn't noticed this stuff before dashing upstairs. "Just so Xion and Roxas don't catch us down here?"

"Sure, good call. I gotta few other secret spots 'round this place we can hole up in until your lunch is over." He went to the door, pushing it open a crack so he could peek out.

"Okay," I nodded while waiting for him to make sure the coast was clear. Then I grinned. "You know, you almost had me going back there with the hickies."

"If only," he muttered so softly, I wasn't sure I'd heard correctly.

"Hm?"

His shoulders tensed, then he breathed a feeble laugh as he glanced back at me, "If only… I'd, er... remembered to bring some makeup! Ah well, maybe next time, huh? C'mon, let's go." His hand reached for mine.

I took it and suddenly my hand didn't feel so sad anymore as I let him lead me back out into the mall.

I couldn't sleep.

I rolled over onto my left side, pulling the sheets up to my chin and curling in on myself a bit. Then over to my right. A few seconds ticked by. Then I rested my back to the mattress and frowned up at my bedroom ceiling, at the long thin patch of frail moonlight slashing across it from between the curtains of my window. Sighing, I tossed over onto my side again and tried putting my head beneath the pillow this time, hoping the added darkness and some light hypoxia would do the trick to knock me out.

No such luck.

With another heavy sigh, I sat up, letting the pillow fall back down behind me. I brought a hand up towards one of my earplugs, stopping just short of reaching it as I frowned over at the wall I shared with my roommates. Then I tentatively pulled it out, already preemptively grimacing as the noises I might hear.

Instead my ears were greeted with a very different sound and from a different direction no less. Coming through my closed door from the living room was a faint, hollow murmur of voices. I squinted towards it, tipping my head to one side. Was that… the TV? Tugging the other earplug out, I set both down onto my nightstand as I listened for another minute, my fingers fiddling with my braid. Then folding my sheets away from me, I got out of bed, smoothed my nightgown and crept over to the door to open it.

Lea was sitting on his couch out here, the glow of the television screen the only thing illuminating him in the otherwise dark living room. Since him couch-surfing here was becoming a bit of a habit now, he'd started bringing an overnight bag with him for things like toiletries and the pyjamas he was currently wearing - a black tank top and PJ pants patterned with tiny fireballs sporting evil smiley faces. In fact I think it may have been the same design on the frisbees I'd seen back at his apartment. Some kind of brand logo, perhaps?

His elbows were braced up on the backrest behind him, temple propped against one fist as he watched the screen. He glanced over at me as I stepped out, quirking an eyebrow and lifting his head off his knuckles. "El?"

I gave my braid a tiny tug before dropping my hands and clasping them together, forcing them to be still as I gave him a small smile. "You're up late."

He grinned back. "Yeah. Never really could pass out to total silence," he nodded towards where his own earplugs laid discarded on the coffee table. Then he wrinkled his nose, shooting a sideways glance towards Rayne's and Riku's room. "But shit, you weren't kidding 'bout those two going at it like jackrabbits in there. Had to do something to tune 'em out, so turned on the ol' tube and guess what I found?"

I moved to stand beside him for a better view of the TV. The scene was currently zoomed in on a couple riding in the back row seat of a trolley. The girl was distracted, lost in whatever she was talking about while the guy was reaching his hand over to tuck her hair back, only to awkwardly snatch it away when she suddenly turned to look at him, completely oblivious to the gesture as she continued to enthusiastically ramble on. My smile grew as I took a seat next to Lea. "It's Before Dawn. Imagine that."

"I know. What timing, right?" he hummed a small laugh. We were both quiet for a few seconds, simply watching the movie. Then he nudged my knee with his, "And what brings ya out here in the middle of the night? Other than the pleasure of my charming company, of course."

That earned him a soft snort as I slouched more comfortably into the sofa and picked up one of the small throw pillows, hugging it in my arms. "Trouble sleeping."

"Oh?" he looked over at me, relaxing his hand along the top of the cushions behind my head. "Something on your mind?"

I gnawed on my bottom lip, not taking my eyes off the television even though I wasn't really paying attention to it anymore. "...it's just coming up so fast."

Brow furrowing, he squinted up at the ceiling in thought for a second. "You mean our visit to the parental units?"

My insides churned as I gave a small nod. "It's only a week away now. It doesn't feel like enough time. I don't know if I'll be able to go through with this… if we… if I will be prepared in time… if I'll be able to face them."

"Hey, don't worry 'bout it," he flashed a warm grin. "You and me? We got this. I like to think we've become quite the awesome dynamic duo. Gotten pretty good at this whole girlfriend-boyfriend thing. Got the entire mall buying into our story and if we can fool them, we can fool anyone."

"But it's not anyone," I muttered, squeezing the pillow more tightly to me. "It's Father. And Mother. And..." my face scrunched up, "...the Duke too? ...for some reason? Anyway, tricking Father for a grand total of five minutes was one thing, but now? Now it's my whole family. For a whole weekend. What if they find out?" Oh dear, I could already feel a panic attack coming on just thinking about it. I turned my head, frowning at him. "...what if I can't do this?"

The hand behind me lifted, hesitantly hovering and shifting about for a second before settling on a quick, reassuring pat to my head. "Just say the word and you can pull the plug on this whole op anytime ya want. Don't force yourself to do anything you don't wanna do. But just know you're a lot stronger than you think. And chances are? It won't be as bad as you fear." He poked himself in the side of the head, just above his left ear, "Our brains like to mess with us, tell us things will be a lot worse than they actually turn out to be. And 'sides, you won't be doing this alone. I'll be right there with you the whole weekend. Your sister too. We got your back. You got a support system. Consider us your safety net. We'll be there to pick up the slack and catch you if you fall."

I bowed my head, nose perched on top of the edge of the pillow now. "...thank you. That helps," I muffled into it, my tiny smile hidden. And I meant it. I could already feel some of my unease starting to slip away. Straightening back up and tossing my head back onto the couch, I inhaled deeply before loudly exhaling. "I should just stop thinking about it. Stressing out over it now does me no good. I need to be talking about something else."

"Something else, huh?" he mumbled, eyes returning to the movie as he scratched the tip of his nose. "...so I had a thought. Remember the other day when you said you'd be looking for a new place in a few months when lil Baby Hewley arrived?" His knee started jiggling up and down while out of the corner of my eye, I could see his fingers fidgeting with the seam of the backrest cushions. "Well, what if… and ya know, this would only be if you weren't able to find somewhere on your own and if, like… you had no place else to go and were up shit's creek and whatnot, but… what if you moved in with…" he glanced back my way, "...me?"

I blinked at him. "...you?"

His face brightened. "Yeah, whaddya think? We got plenty of space for ya! It'll be a total blast! And hey, we could even get ya a puppy."

Fighting a grin, I quirked an eyebrow. "A puppy? But what about Saïx?"

"Psh," he brushed off, one hand batting the air. "Saïx can fight me. You want a dog? You're getting a dog, end of story."

I snerked and looked down. Lips pursing to one side, I did a mental replay of what I could remember of when Lea had given me the grand tour of his apartment. "...am I forgetting a third bedroom you guys have?"

"Nah," he shook his head, "just the two. But you can have mine and I'll just… I dunno, sleep on the couch."

"You can't sleep on the couch in your own home," I scoffed.

"Sure I can! I'm actually growing quite accustomed to catching some Z's on 'em. These bad boys are surprisingly comfy," he pat the armrest next to him and beamed. "In fact, dunno if I can ever go back to a lame ol' bed again!"

Rolling my eyes, I said, "I meant because Saïx will see you. Won't he have questions about you sleeping on the sofa every night?"

"Oh. Right," he laughed, fingers ruffling his hair. "Well then I can just… sleep in the room with you. On the floor," he hastily amended. "Yeah, it'll be fun! Like a slumber party every night!"

One side of my lips twitched up as I toyed with the corner of the throw pillow I was still holding snug. "You're sweet, but… no, that'd just be crazy."

"...yeah. Crazy," he averted his gaze with a tiny chuckle. Then he frowned, plucking the short hairs at the nape of his neck. "...is it though? I mean, think about it. It'd be like the next stage of our dating evolution. That's what all couples do sooner or later, right? Move in together?"

"But the baby will be here in, what…" both my eyebrows rose as I stared off into space, "...four more months? Five? I figure we'll have probably staged a breakup by then."

"Breakup?!" he jerked forward in his seat, eyes widening slightly.

I knit my eyebrows together. "Well yeah. You… didn't think we were going to be fake dating forever, right?"

"Well, I…" he hunched forward, propping his elbows on his knees and folding his hands together beneath his nose as he narrowed his gaze on the floor. "...no, I guess not."

I tilted my head at him. Then opened my mouth. Then closed it. I focused on the TV instead. "...I figured… it'd be some time after we visited my parents. Depending on how it goes, of course. Once I was…" I shrugged, gripping the pillow more tightly, "...sure they weren't going to try to interfere with my life anymore. After that… maybe a few more weeks? A month, perhaps? Just so it wouldn't look too quick, too… suspicious or raise questions…"

Why was this so hard? Why did it make my heart squeeze, just a bit? Come on, it's not like it was a real breakup! Besides, this could maybe, possibly, eventually open up the door to actually start something more real with him in the future. If I ever got the guts up to even pursue something like that… whenever he started dating again… which would be when he no longer had to focus on his schoolwork… aka when he graduated...

...in two years…

Why did that suddenly seem like an eternity?

"...yeah," he sighed and slumped back again, his arm returning to its position behind me as he stretched them both out along the backrest once more, "that all makes sense, I guess." His lips were a flat line for a few seconds, but then he grinned over at me. "Tell ya one thing, though. Fake getting over you ain't gonna be easy. Might have to try and fake win you back."

"Oh no," I stifled a soft laugh into my fingers. "Hang on, let me guess… You. In a trenchcoat. Standing in the middle of the bustling food court. Boombox held high over your head and blasting out some old, cheesy love song. That about sum it up?"

He smirked, "Ah, fan of the classics like me, I see. Good guess, but I was actually thinking less John Cusack in Say Anything and more Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You. Me. With a mic hacked into the food court's overhead speakers. Singing and dancing around on table tops while mall security chases me all over the place."

This big dork really was a sap. That is, if his taste in movies had anything to say about it.

Shaking my head in amusement, I said, "Who's to say you'd even fake want me back? Maybe it's you who ends up fake dumping me."

He huffed out a derisive snort, "Not a chance. I'd never be dumb enough to let someone like you go." I looked away, grateful the light from the TV wasn't bright enough to reveal the gentle warmth spreading into my cheeks. Lea shrugged as he went on, "Now, dumb enough to do something stupid and royally fuck it up so you'd kick my ass to the curb however? Yeah, now that sounds like it'd be pretty on brand for me."

"No, I don't think so," I smiled, resting my chin atop the seam of the throw pillow. "...thanks, Lea. I feel a lot better now. You're a… a really good friend."

Lea was quick to return the smile, "It's what I'm here for!" His gaze went back to the screen and there was a brief pause where the only sound was the low drone from the movie. "So… was that your roundabout way of wishing me a good night?"

"Hmm..." A beat before I shook my head, "Not yet. I think I'd like to stay and watch for a little while longer, if that's alright."

"It's more than alright," the corners of his eyes crinkled as he settled into his seat more comfortably. "It's alright times two."

I'm not sure exactly when it was I nodded off. Last scene I clearly remembered was our leading couple sitting at a restaurant together, their hands miming phones to their ears as they made imaginary calls to one another, so it must have been not too long after that. Next thing I knew I was blinking blearily at the television as it showed the girl now sitting on a bed in a small apartment, serenading the guy with her guitar. They both looked maybe a few years older. Must have been one of the sequels to the first movie. I was less familiar with those. It seemed Lea had stumbled upon some sort of late night marathon.

As consciousness returned to me piece by tiny piece, it slowly came to my attention that there was something... off about the pillow my cheek was resting against. Like the fact that it was oddly firm. And warm. And…

...breathing?

Eyes fully snapping open now, they darted about to realize I'd fallen asleep on Lea. Against his chest, to be exact. Embarrassed and panicking maybe just a smidge, I immediately tried to straighten up and away from him, only to be held firmly in place by the arm - his arm - that was draped heavily around my shoulders. I furrowed my brow over at it. Wha-?

Then he made a noise and I tensed.

Took me several heart-pounding seconds to register that noise for what it was.

A snore.

Puffing out a hushed breath and forcing my muscles to relax, I tentatively, cautiously turned my head to try and look up at him. Didn't work, and it only took me another second to realize why. There was a weight pressing down on the top of my hair that I hadn't really noticed until just now.

He was using my head as a pillow.

Welp. This was quite the predicament I found myself in.

Oh gosh, I just hope we'd fallen asleep roughly around the same time and had just, I don't know... naturally gravitated toward one another in our slumber? If I'd been snuggling up to him like this while he was awake the whole time, I'd never live it down.

Next thing my brain decided to alert me to was the fact that I'd misplaced my throw pillow. I must have dropped it when I'd dozed off for I was pretty sure I could feel it on the floor brushing against my bare feet. But that wasn't the important part. No, the important part was what my hands had decided to do in the wake of its disappearance. Left hand? It was good. Just laying there in my lap, all well behaved and polite-like. The right one, however? Had found its way over to rest atop Lea's knee. The little trollop. Especially considering that one of his hands was currently covering it. Had it no decency? No shame?

I considered my situation for another minute. Then taking a deep breath, I decided to commence with the extraction. Should be easier now that I was fully awake and aware of my circumstances so I could approach it all with a cooler, more level head.

First I used my free hand to gently lift his arm from my shoulder and gingerly set it back down on the couch backrest. Another snore from him and I froze. After a few seconds where nothing else happened however and I was sure I hadn't disturbed him, I then proceeded to bring my hand back up, this time to delicately press my fingertips to his chin.

Careful now, careful… wouldn't want to wake him…

I slowly pushed his head off mine and kept going until it lolled back onto the cushions behind him instead. With nothing left weighing me down now, I crept up onto my feet and peeked back at him to make sure he still snoozed. I was rewarded with yet another soft snore. That was all the confirmation I needed. I turned to make a break for my room.

Victory! Success! Elsa, Queen of The Daring Escape and-

Ack!

...okay, so something had just happened. More precisely, two somethings, both occurring at the exact same time. The first? Was my arm being pulled taut and bouncing me back like a rubber band stretched too tight. I stumbled but caught myself, the carpet muffling any sound I might have made. The second? Now that was just a word. One single, solitary word:

"Stay."

That one word sent my heart catapulting up into my throat as I whipped around to discover Lea had pulled his head up and was now looking straight at me.

Fudge, fudge, fudge, fudge!

...but actually… wait… his eyelids were sagging heavily. Half closed and groggy. His expression slack. And now that I thought about, when he'd spoken, it had come out sounding a little… sluggish? One might even say… drowsy?

...was he still half asleep?

I haltingly raised a hand to wave in front of his face. No reaction. As my shallow breaths began to slow and my heart rate calmed, I next looked down at my other hand to see what the snag had been there. This was the one that had been on his knee with his hand on top of it. Was still on top of it and, in fact, had tightened his grip around my fingers. This was what had snared me and brought my getaway to a screeching halt.

Yeesh, what a clingy sleeper he must be.

I brought my gaze back up to his face. He was still giving me that droopy, zombie-eyed stare. I tucked in my lower lip, studying him for a moment. Then I took a tiny step closer and bent over him slightly. My free hand came up, reaching for him. I froze midway, fingers curling towards my palm, hesitating. But only for a heartbeat before I was pushing forward again.

"Shh… go back to sleep," I whispered, gently stroking his hair just above his ear.

His really, really soft, silky smooth hair.

Which I'd not been expecting. Not at all.

Crud, I shouldn't be blushing this much.

However, it seemed to have the desired effect. His eyelids drifted all the way closed now as his head sank back down into the couch cushion. His hold on my hand relaxed enough for me to slip it free. I straightened back up, rubbing my rescued hand with the other as I watched him sleep for a few more seconds, my head tipping to one side. Then I retrieved the throw pillow from the floor and put it back on the sofa next to him before picking up the comforter to drape over him. It was only now I realized that it was too small for him for if I brought it up to cover his shoulders, it left his feet exposed.

The friggin' behemoth. Why hadn't he said anything? I'd have to see about finding a bigger one for him tomorrow.

I briefly considered turning off the TV but decided against it on the off chance the sudden lack of noise would wake him. Turning, I tiptoed back towards my bedroom, stopping in the doorway for one last backwards glance at him. Still out like a light. A grin pulled at one side of my mouth as I murmured, "Sweet dreams, sleeping beauty."

The only answer I got was a snore.

Author's Note: Our awkward penguin did it! She intentionally "made a move" for the first time, I'm so proud T_T Looks like our fire boi tried to make a bit of a move himself under the clocktower staircase there… with far less successful results xD One step forward, two steps back, huh? *Siiiiigh* ah well, these two will get there eventually :P And this is yet another chapter I lament not writing anything from Lea's POV… so many scenes in my head going on for him off camera that will never see the light of day xD Fun fact: The ice cream this chapter, Three Wishes, is named after (you guessed it) Agrabah's keyblade and I imagine its description on the menu would look something like: "This blueberry flavored soft serve will have you wishing for more! Comes in a blue cone wrapped in a ring of matching blue cotton candy, with lamp-shaped sugar cubes and a sprinkling of extra sugar to top it all off."

Next chapter, with that "make a move" hurdle finally overcome, what's next in our couple's fake dating adventures? Looks like there's a certain dinner with a certain Moon Boy on the horizon, how will this lil "test run" go? Will it be a resounding success or could it spell utter defeat for our pair? Not to mention the weekend with the folks is fast approaching, will our couple be ready in time? And just how DOES Lea fit his behemoth self into those itty-bitty pirate ship train carts? Some things will forever remain a mystery, but for the rest, stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

[gvf-imagine]

Part 2

warnings:  none

word count: 4705

summary: you get a text from dreamy rock singer Josh Kiszka whom youve just met at a live show and he wants to see you tonight!

tag list: @satingrass-maidensfair @karrotkate @kakarla @love-philautia @elliestrawberries @shesdigging @callmekane @supersonic-darling @jimmypagesandbrianmayshair @justacollegestudentyay

A\N: Loved writing this chapter! I hope you all enjoy it and like always any feedback is welcome and appriciated 

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Your friend hurried back to the table.

“What happened?!” she asked, her expression hungry for details. You simply shrug.

“He invited me to their next show at some college party…..he invited you too , oh and I gave him my number” you say with a melancholy tone. Your friends' eyes were wide.

“Why do you sound depressed??” she questions

“Why are you not freaking out like me?” she adds.

“He has a girlfriend” you say, taking another drink of your lemonade.

“God I wish there was alcohol in this” you chime again, mostly to yourself.

“Ok he has a girlfriend BFD he can't like her that much if he asked you for your number” she said with a satisfied shrug.

“Yeah that's just it, I don't wanna be the reason he leaves her. I mean we literally just met like what? Twenty minutes ago? And who knows how long he's been with her” you ramble. Your friend shakes her head

“Listen, whatever happens between them is NOT your problem. If he'd leave her for a girl he just met twenty minutes ago then clearly their relationship is already trash” she states. You look at her blankly for a moment before rolling your eyes.

“You just like the drama” you retort with an eventual smile. She nods proudly as she takes another sip of her drink

“I do! AND I like the guitarist so we're going to that show at that party” she decides. You chuckle and shake your head. Honestly you were excited to hear and see him again, you really really were and it's not like you guys were gonna make out or anything. You had no plans on doing anything that would jeopardize his current relationship, the two of you were just friends so far, not even friends, just acquaintances. Being an acquaintance sounded far better than being a home-wrecking hussy.

“That reminds me” you say, settling the storm of thoughts in your mind. Your friend looked up at you.

“Josh said that Jake, that guitarist you're in love with, was staring at you the whole show”  you proclaim readying yourself for the deafening overzealous girl-ish shriek that was sure to be escaping her perfectly glossed lips at any moment.

“WHAT??!” she yelled, her aura flashed at you like the aftershock of an atom bomb.l her face lit up with excitement and yours winced with the pain of her shriek ringing in your ears.

“Sorry I said anything” you reply but it falls on deaf ears.

“Oh my god what will I wear??” she asks her eyes darting off in thought.

“Wear two stamps and Saltine cracker for all I care , just don't get your hopes up about mr. wonderful there, boys in bands aren't really known for their long healthy relationships, more like short, shameful one night stands” you say.

“Yeah I don't care” she replies quickly. You smile, of course she doesn't. You can't help but feel differently about Josh, somehow you knew he wasn't like that. Maybe that was just you getting your own hopes up. He seemed genuine but you had only just met him so you couldn't really make a fair call yet. The rest of that day was full of water, sunshine, and lingering thoughts of two boys you hardly knew.

The next day was completely different, weather-wise at least. Dark, heavy clouds hung over your town like a horrendous guilt. A, what seemed to be never ending, shower of rain fell to the ground turning every home and business in Silver City, Michigan  into a lakefront property.

“Its about time you woke up” your friend smiles as you join her in the living room. She hands you a hot cup of tea, both of you still wore your pajamas which consisted of cotton shorts and old oversized t-shirts. The sound of rain dancing on the large window made you sleepy again, noting a huge crack of thunder and lightning couldn't solve though. Your body jolted in response to the loud boom. Your friend simply laughed and took another sip of her steaming beverage, smelled like vanilla chamomile.

“Shut up” you report playfully elbowing her in the ribs. You looked at your phone, you forgot you had turned it on silent last night. There was one unread message from a random number. Butterflies took flight against the walls of your stomach.

Josh.

You hated the fact that you couldn't help but blush and grin at the thought of him.

He has a girlfriend

He has a girlfriend

He has a girlfriend

You chanted to yourself in incantation before refocusing and reading his message.

J: Hey, it's me! I hope you had a good rest of your day yesterday, sorry for the late text, I had to wait till my girl fell asleep to talk to you…

Your heart sinks. You felt so bad for his girlfriend, it's not nice of Josh to go behind her back BUT there are always two sides to every story and who knows maybe she's talking to another guy behind his back. Your thoughts flew around your mind like fireflies. You shook your head and watched them scatter out of your ears and disappear into nothing.

Y: hey Josh! I'm glad to hear from you, so when's that party?

You decide to completely ignore the fact of his girlfriend and ask about the show instead, you'd like to talk to him more about his relationship because clearly he wasn't very happy in it, but it wasn't your place to ask.

J: 343 university Dr. we play at seven but well be there around five, so does this mean you're coming?

Y: yeah well be there, my friend would drag me by my hair if I didn't want to go lol but she won't have to

J: well that's good news for your hair, its too pretty to be pulled around…..like that anyway

The butterflies made their way all throughout your body. Did he just compliment you? It felt so good to hear him say that, it made you feel like a little giggly school girl with a crush. On the other hand you couldn't stop wondering if he'd said the same to his girlfriend today or who knows maybe there's other girls. You signed and slump down in your seat. Why was this eating you alive? You really honestly didn't even know him that well. You didn't know his last name, his favorite color, if he'd ever broken a bone. All you knew was he was a boy in a band, with a beautiful voice and a face to match. You felt the butterflies melt into a warmth as thoughts of him filled your head.

Y: josh…

J: I know i'm sorry, I just… I can't help it. I'm usually not like this but I just feel pulled towards you..

Somehow you knew exactly what he was trying to say, you felt the same way. The two of you were magnetized towards each other. You needed to be in his life one way or another and you just might have to put your better judgement aside and let temptation take the wheel.

Y: I know, it's okay. You're really sweet and I appreciate that. I'm really glad we met Josh

J:Im glad we did too and I feel like we met for a reason, I have to go rehearse with the guys now, but i'll talk to you as soon as I can… maybe I can come see you tonight?

Come see you tonight? What does that mean? What would we do? What would he tell his girlfriend? You didn't know what to say, hopefully he would be too busy at rehearsal to have any free time tonight.

Y: sure, if you're not busy you can stop by, just call me or something, hopefully ill still be awake ha ha. If no then i'll see you at the show…. Bye Josh :)

J: haha ok bye y/n

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*later that evening*

“So you're going to let him come over tonight right??” your friend prys as the two of you walked through the mall. You rolled your eyes, as you often did around her.

“How did you even know about that?” you asked, swinging your bags as you walked. She looked down

“I may have just quickly skimmed through your texts while you were in the shower” she chimed with an innocent smile. You glared at her but couldn't hold back your laugh.

“Youre so fucking nosy” you reply shoving her gently. She smirks with a slight cock of her head.

“I dont go through your phone” you add. Her face goes blank

“Yeah well my love life isn't as exciting as yours right now, my phone’s dryer that the sahara” she responds with her usual quick wit.

“Well what about Jake, he might like you” you suggest.

“Yeah he MIGHT and I dont have his phone number so I cant talk to him” she argues.

“We’ll get it at the party don't worry” you reassure. She sighs and drops her shoulders.

“Yeah and so will every other girl within a mile radius” she retorts.

“Hey there were plenty of girls at the water park yelling his name but he only had eyes for you” you respond, you can tell what you said made her feel slightly better.

“Yeah well I guess we'll see, he is really cute though…. I'm totally getting his number” she chirps decidedly. You knew she would, it never takes much coaxing for her to want to get a guy's number, usually she didn't have to ‘get’ them, guys practically threw their numbers at her. I've gotta hand it to her this time though, Jake is a good looking gman.

Just then your phone rings, you look down and see Josh’s name flashing on the screen.

“oh shitting hell it's him!” you say looking at your friend like a deer in headlights.

“Well what are you out of your mind?? ANSWER IT!” she demands as she grabs your hand making you put your phone against your face.

“Hi, Josh” you say, shooing her hand away.

“Hey! I wasn't sure if you were going to answer” he says, you can tell a smile is beaming on his face.

“Yeah sorry my hands are kinda full and I had to dig in my bag for my phone” you lied. Your  hands were only carrying one bag, they were hardly full, and your phone was already in your hand as well. You didn't want Josh to know you were too nervous to answer right away and your friend had to basically force feed the phone to you.

“Oh well, i'm done with rehearsal.. What are you up to?” he asks, he must have JUST got done with practice because you can hear him and who you assume is the rest of the band fumbling with some equipment in the background.

“Oh me and y\f\n are just at the mall, well we're leaving now, we just wanted to pick up some new outfits for..” your voice trails. Shit. you did not want him to know you were here getting new clothes for his show, that would give him a big ego.

For christs sake y\n make something up QUICK BEFORE-

“For what?” he questions, his voice interrupting you from your panicked thoughts.

Fuck.

“Ummm for …. A birthday party! Yeah next weekend, her cousin's birthday party. Its gonna be on a boat at the lake so we wanted to get some beach appropriate attire” you say, what a shit-headed fucking lie, really? A birthday party? On a boat??? Josh simply laughs

“Birthday party huh? Sounds like a good time” he's smiling again.

“Well I hope you have fun.. So you wanna get together tonight?” he asks getting right to the elephant in the room. You pause and look at your friend who nods so hard you thought she was going to slip a disc in her spine.

“Aren't you really busy? You're in a band you must have like no free time to hangout with  me” you say prolonging your answer.

“Well no I don't have much free time, but i'm freeing up my time...for you” he responds. His words were so sweet but so hard to hear and they made you feel both happy and conflicted at the same time.

“I'll bring Jake,” he adds.

Your friend snatches your phone when she hears this.

“Yes! Lets hangout! Our address is 1342 sunfield st. Why don't you guys stop over, let's say,in  an hour!” she chimes cheerfully. You can hear Josh’s voice responding but cant make out what he's saying.

“Awesome see you guys soon!” she says once more before hanging up the phone. You just stand there looking at her with zero expression on your face.

“You'll thank me later” she remarks, tossing you your phone and continuing through the mall.

“Come on slowpoke we gotta get date ready!” she bounces up and down grabbing your hand pulling you along. You were really excited to see Josh again, nervous as hell, but excited nonetheless. What were you going to wear?

-----------------------------------------

The two of you finally returned back to your house, your friend made a bee-line for her room, you did the same. You stood hopelessly in front of your closet.

“God I have nothing to wear!” you holler to your friend.

“You can borrow something of mine,” she offers. You hear her shuffling through her drawers, she's probably ripping through her clothes.  With a quick pace you made your way to her room.

“What should I wear?” you ask looking through her clothes she's already tossed aside.

“I haven't the faintest idea, I guess it depends on what we're going to do. Maybe wear something practical? Multi-purpose” she suggests. No help. You grab a pair of ripped skinny jeans and a black tank top that had a red floral pattern. This'll do. Sauntering back to your room you slip the outfit on and look at yourself in the mirror. Thank god you and her were basically the same size. Now all that was left was the matter of your hair and makeup. You decided to go with something simple, you didn't want to look like you were trying to impress him (even though you were). You tied your hair into a high pony-tail leaving a few strands down in the front to frame your face.

With gentle and effortless precision you put on your eyeliner, it really brings out your eyes and makes your cheekbones look nice. Usually that was the only makeup you wore, but tonight, you decided to put on some lipstick for good measure, a nice natural blush color. You smile at your reflection, which rarely ever occurred.

“You look great!” your friend's voice fills the air, light pink waves crashing over hot sand, you watch as the waves echo out of your bedroom window.

You turn to look at her, she's wearing a knee length sky blue spaghetti strap dress, it was simple and pretty and fit her frame perfectly. She wore a pair of white doc martens to top off her soft grunge look, her hair was down and barely touched her shoulders.

“What happened to ‘wear something practical’”? You question with a grin.

“To hell with it, I need to look irresistible” she answers.

“Well you do, I love that dress” you respond. There was a knock on the door, you and y\f\n looked at each other before the both of you  scurried excitedly to the door.

“Oh wait wait WAIT” you exclaim in a hushed yell as you ran into the bathroom, you grabbed your favorite perfume and spritzed a careful amount over your body.

“Ok go go go” you say as you toss the bottle back on the counter. The two of you rush to the door looking each other over one last time before your friend pulls the door open. In front of you stand Josh  and Jake, both wearing sweet smiles.

“Hey,” Josh says looking at you, his smile grew softer and more sincere the longer he looked at you. You picked up on it and blushed letting out a pathetically soft “hi”

“Come on in” your friend says, opening the door even wider. The boys step inside looking around, taking in their surroundings.

“Nice place, Josh and I share an apartment” Jake states with a soft chuckle

“This is hardly our house, her parents pay our rent” you say nodding toward your friend. She smiles

“Yeah they're loaded! So what do you guys wanna do?” she says quickly. Jake laughs at her remark.

“We thought we could go for a walk, maybe get some ice cream” josh says, more to you than the other two.

“A walk? It's like 10 pm” your friend says a small laugh escaping her lips.

“That's the best time to go” Jake says.

“Don't worry we'll protect you from any robbers” Josh jokes. You smile, you did everytime he looked at you, you couldn't help it he was so pretty.

“Sounds fun” you chime.

“Im 100% getting blue moon” your friend says grabbing her purse

“Oh you don't need that, ill buy” Jake offers, your friend looks at you with a smile.

“My kinda guy” she jokes again. Jake and Josh laugh and you all head out the door. The night air was crisp and clean, the smell of rain still hung in the sky. The ground was damp and the clouds were still looming and dark, but the rain had settled to a light sprinkle. You could smell it all, the droplets that hung off the leaves and the wet earthy dirt they fell onto. It was your absolute favorite smell, it reminded you of fall, which was only a few weeks away. The thought of that made you face burn red as you remembered you told josh that you had a birthday party on a boat to go to in a few weeks not stopping to think about what season it was. Dumbass. There's no way he fell for that.

Jake and your friend trailed slightly behind you and Josh, keeping conversion as they did. You heard them both laugh every few seconds and they seemed to be getting along.

“You look really pretty,” Josh speaks, forcing your attention on him.

“Oh” you smile.

“Thank you, I couldn't really find anything nice to wear, so I had to borrow something of hers” you admit with a laugh.

“You could have worn a trash bag, you'd still look pretty,” he says. His voice was dark and gentle like melted chocolate. His words ripped through you like wind through trees and all you could think about was his girlfriend.

“Can I ask you something?” you question.

“You can ask me anything” he responds, his eyes searching the ground.

“Why are you so nice to me?” you ask, your voice falls a little. Josh looks at you and then a passing car steals his gaze.

“When I first saw you I felt this pressure lift from my shoulders and then I couldn't take my eyes off of you, even if I wanted to I couldn't. You filled my head and I hadn't even spoken to you yet. One look.. And you entranced me…” he says softly.

“There's something between us y/n and I need to know what it is” he speaks again. Both of you had stopped walking by now, Jake and your friend were across the street ordering everyone's ice cream and standing noticeably close. Now that you thought about it, so were you and Josh.

“What about your girlfriend?” you ask, barely able to form words, all you could focus on was his perfect lips and enchanting eyes. You were close enough that you could smell his faint cologne pass your nose with every slight gust of wind. Your mention of his girlfriend didn't seem to phase him at all.

“Things with me and her are complicated, our relationship was set up through our parents and it's just a mess.. A forced mess. She doesn't feel that close to me, I've known you for a day and I've felt more things with you than I've ever felt with her. He explains. He was being honest, it wasn't just a show or him telling you what you want to hear.

“So why don't you just break up with her?” you ask again.

“I've never broken up with anyone before… I don't know how...plus her dad is our band manager and it would just cause a lot of problems” he admits. You understood how he felt, you'd never broken up with anyone either, you've always been on the receiving end of a bad breakup. Jake and y/f/n return, arms full of ice cream.

“Peanut butter cup, your favorite” your friend chimes, handing you a double scoop of the creamy treat stuffed generously into a waffle cone. Waffle cones were amazing, you never understood why anyone got anything else, they were delicious and if you rice cream started to melt it would catch in the diamond shaped waffle divots of the cone and not drip on your clothes. Yummy and practical.

“Thanks” you say, taking a refreshing lick. The four of you walked aimlessly around town, talking and laughing the whole way until you eventually wound up back at your house.

“Wow i cant believe how late it is already” Jake says looking at his phone, which prompted you to do the same.

“Holy shit it's 1am” you say, which was probably a mistake because saying it out loud made you realize how tired you actually are. Josh looks at you  

“Yeah it's late but I don't wanna leave” he admits a smile forms on his sweet face. He looked cute when he was tired.

“....you can stay the night if you'd like” you say nervously tugging at the hem of your shirt. Josh's face lit up

“It is very dangerous to drive while you're tired” your friend comments. Jake smiles and looks at Josh as the four of you walk back inside.

“I'm game” he says plopping down on the couch.

“Yeah I guess we can just crash on the couch” Josh says with a shrug, your friend quickly intervenes.

“Oh no no no this old couch will kill your back, you can sleep in y/n’s room!” she offers. You freeze. In my room? In the same bed? At the same time?

“Right y/n?” your friend speaks again, with a perky tone. Her eyes grow wide, glaring at you for a quick second.

“Oh uh yeah totally, these couches are stone” you say trying to sound nonchalant.

“Jake and I will probably stay up a while, why don't you guys head to bed?” your friend says again. Wow she's really pushing for you two to be together. You laugh at her and once again roll your eyes.

“Yeah, cmon Josh, it's right down the hall” you say, leading him to your room.

He closes the door behind him as the two of you enter. There's a moment of silence.

“You know, I can sleep on the floor if you're not comfortable with this,” he says stuffing his hands nervously in his pockets. It was tempting considering he had a girlfriend already but you  couldn't remember the last time you vacuumed this floor.

“No that's ok, I'm fine with sharing the bed, I wouldn't ask you to sleep on the floor” you say with a chuckle before yawning.

“I'm more tired than I realized” you add , sleep tugging at your eyelids.

“Me too” Josh says stretching. You looked down at what you were wearing. Jeans. Yikes. You can't sleep in jeans.

“Do you want me to leave so you can change?” he asks, reaching for the door handle.

“Um yeah sorta” you giggle shyly, he smiles.

“Just knock when you're ready” he says, stepping out of the room, closing the door softly behind him. You quickly pull your clothes off and toss them in your laundry basket before grabbing light blue pajama shorts that had little red cherries patterned across them, then you grabbed the matching blue tank top and took off your makeup with some wipes you kept in your drawer. You let your hair down and checked yourself in the mirror before knocking twice on the door.

“I'm done” you chime. Josh steps back in, his eyes fall down your body and his facial expression softens.

“Still pretty” he says brushing a piece of hair behind your ear. Your body warms to his touch. It was so gentle and soft, you look down, smiling to yourself.

“Are you gonna change?” you ask realizing he's wearing jeans too.

“Well I usually sleep in my boxers” he says, not breaking eye contact with you.

“That's fine, whatever's comfortable” you reply walking gover to your bed and sliding in. Josh starts to undo his belt and he lets his pants fall to his ankles before stepping out of them and pulling his shirt over his head. His body was a wonderful olive tone and he had a thin trail of  hair that led from his belly button to his… you know.

Your face flushes as you think more about how undeniably sexy he iis. He smiled almost like he could hear your thoughts.

“I'll get the light” he says, switching it off. Then there was darkness. You felt his body slide in bed next to you, immediately warming you. His smooth skin brushed against yours as he turned on his side to face you. His hand lifted to your face and he strokes your cheek with his thumb gracefully.

“This feels….right” his voice breaks the silence and floats in your ears.

“Yeah it does” you admit, he couldn't see it, but you had a huge smile on your face. Your bedroom window is wide open and it began to rain agoian outside, you could hear every droplet splash against the ground and the wind blew gently through the trees. The wind blew through the window sending a chill through your room. You got goosebumps and shook slightly. Instantly Josh wrapped his arm around your side and pulled you into his chest. His delicious cologne still lingering on his body. His warmth and the comfort of his touch had you sleeping almost instantaneously.

“Goodnight y/n” he said softly, his fingers tracing a pattern on your back.

“Goodnight Josh” you reply tiredly. You wondered what Jake and your friend were doing, they must have fallen asleep or were watching a movie because you couldn't hear them in the living room, you fell asleep trying to decide.

You were jolted awake by Josh who jumped out of your bed.

“What's wrong?” you ask as you sit up rubbing your eyes. You could hear him quickly pulling his jeans back on .

“Hey, go back to sleep, I just, I have to go,” he says, putting his shirt on.

“It's your girlfriend isn't it?” you question, he sighs and sits on your bed.

“Yea she called me like twenty times, it's already 10am….I should go” he says reluctantly. You nod, you didn't want him to leave but it really wasn't up to you.

“Okay” you say softly

“Hey….” he says getting closer to you, his fingers gently grab your face and he kisses you passionately. His lips are soft and hungry, he leans over you slightly as if he's trying to savor every last taste of you, but the two of you battle for power, he wins. His thumb strokes your cheek and he pulls away softly, your face still in his hands, your foreheads rested gently against each other’s. His eyes searched yours for forgiveness.

“I'll text you as soon as I can” he assures. You nod as he gets off your bed and heads for the door. He offers you one last smile before he disappears down the hall. You fall back on your pillow with an exhausted sigh. His warmth still imprinted on the sheets and his smell still drifting through the air.

[childofthenight2035]

Emergency Contact

A/N: omfg I've been working on this since June I hate myself so much but anyway this was requested by @tydontstop​ here you go I may not be done yet~

yay it’s my birthday

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Flatmate!AU

Pairing: Jackson Wang x gn!Reader

Summary: When you found a new flatmate, neither of you knew that you’ve been passing by each other by the finest thread.

Word Count: 12k

Warnings: mentions of death, coma, car accidents, depression

-

The hospital receptionist’s face fell when she caught sight of Jackson walking in. Her face twisted in pity, but the boisterous arrival didn’t seem to notice.

“Good morning, Yeeun-ssi!” He greeted cheerfully, sliding his visitor’s pass across the front desk. “I ran late yesterday so I couldn’t make it.”

Yeeun seemed to be holding in an ocean of sorrow as she pushed the card back to him. “I’m sorry, sir.”

Jackson’s eyes narrowed in confusion. “What do you mean, sorry? For wh-“ He fell silent, gazing at Yeeun, who couldn’t seem to meet his eyes. “No,” he breathed out. “That can’t be.”

“I tried calling you yesterday, sir,” she pleaded. “If only it was just a day later…” She shook her head sadly. Fate was cruel.

Could I have said goodbye? Jackson thought.

“How did he…?”

“They…they pulled the plug.”

-

You opened your eyes to the jarring sound of your alarm, wishing more than anything else that you were dreaming and it wasn’t yet morning. But no. When did things ever go your way? Blindly reaching out, you smashed the snooze button.

Groaning, you pushed away covers that weren’t even there. In the heat, you had kicked off the thin blanket you draped over yourself anyway—again.

It was only morning, but you could already feel the humidity beginning to cling to your skin. How you wished you could fall back onto the mattress and drift off. The silence of the apartment reminded you of another thing, however—the poster you had drawn up the previous night: an advertisement for a flatmate. You really needed some noise and movement to distract you, especially after last month. Why did Dahyun have to move out?

The alarm began beeping again.

You had to get to work.

.

Saturdays at the library were always a sort of hassle. There were more children and their misinformed parents over the weekend than any other day. Of course there were some absolute darlings who loved to read and could sit for hours on end with their noses in a book or two. But on the other hand…

You sighed as you pushed open the door of the public library, eyes adjusting to the dim light. Before you could make it to the counter where you would be stationed for the day, you were stopped abruptly by a rather raucous child dashing across your path.

…On the other hand, those darlings always had siblings that had no interest in developing the skill of reading at all. Little rascals who came there only by force and chose to make as much noise as they could get away with.

You pursed your lips, staring distastefully at the runaway before walking swiftly over to the bulletin board. Slipping the notice for a flatmate out of your pocket, you pinned it to the board, then plopped down at the counter, depositing your backpack under the desk.

“Good morning, Y/N!” your co-worker Daniel chirped.

“Good morning, Daniel,” you replied dully, scooting your chair subtly away from him. You really didn’t have his energy at the moment. You loved the guy, but it was a little grieving to hear about his girlfriend twenty-four seven. To your relief, someone approached him at that moment, pulling his attention off of you.

There were quite the number of high schoolers despite it being a weekend, you noticed. Ah. There’s a reading room that the high schoolers are doing today, huh?  Your gaze swept around the seating area to your left. A familiar face caught your eye.

What’s Jinyoung sunbae doing over here? Is he reading to the kids, too? He was sitting with someone you couldn’t see because their back was to you. They seemed to be in some sort of deep discussion.  You weren’t worried. Anyone who came to the library with Park Jinyoung was sure to be just as much of a bookworm.

“Y/N!” You jumped at your supervisor’s voice, tearing your eyes away from your senior and looking up. Your supervisor tilted her head toward a cart full of books. “Be a dear and put these back, won’t you? I’ll man the desk for a bit.”

You bit back a curse, choosing instead to nod and leap up. You’d have to dodge some more kids but at least you could get away from Daniel’s overwhelming energy and rude ‘I-have-a-late-fee-but-I-have-no-intention-of-paying-it-off-quietly-I’d-rather-annoy-you-for-a-solid-ten-minutes-before-doing-just-that’ people.

.

“Jackson, I swear to every god there is, if you don’t find a place to live by the end of the weekend, I’m kicking you out. You can sleep on the streets.” Jackson flinched a little at Jinyoung’s sharp threat, but still pouted to lessen the impact—in vain; Jinyoung hadn’t even glanced up from his book to say all that. Some people didn’t even need eye contact to be intimidating.

“In this heat? Why, Jinyoungieee,” Jackson whined, dragging out his name. No effect. Park gae didn’t move. “Where will I go?”

“If you hadn’t dropped out, you could be staying at the dorms—legally,” Jinyoung remarked. “I’m not risking any more trouble sneaking you in.” Before Jackson could whine his name again, he continued. “Where’s JB hyung? Aren’t you always with him?”

Jackson chewed on the inside of his cheek, wondering how much he should tell Jinyoungie—or rather, wondering how much he already knew. “Uhh…we kinda stopped talking to each other for a while…”

This made Jinyoung look up from the page he was reading, eyes narrowing. “You fought?”

Jackson twitched his shoulders. “Not exactly. Just…” Thankfully, Jinyoung didn’t force him to elaborate, only shooting him a look that said he would definitely be interrogated about it later. “And then hyung went to Japan, remember?”

“But he came back.” Jinyoung was biting his lip in confusion. Funny how anything related to JB hyung made him a million times more attentive.

“He did. But…”

“Now you feel awkward going and begging for living space when you haven’t contacted him in so long?”

Jackson scratched the back of his neck. How the heck does Jinyoungie talk so accurately? “Sure. You could put it that way.”

Jinyoung sighed, sitting up and closing his book. “Do you really think JB hyung feels that way? I know he’s scary when he’s mad, but he still cares about you, hyung. Go and see him. It’ll be fine.”

“But hyung’s so busy and he doesn’t have that much room…and he has his cats…”

Jinyoung tilted his head, thinking. “Well. That’s true. Then what are you going to do?” Jackson could only shrug in defeat, staring around the library without seeing what he was looking at—a staff member putting books back on the shelves…kids running around…Jinyoungie picking at the corner of his book mindlessly…general peace.

Wordlessly, Jinyoung stood to check out the book he had been reading. Jackson followed.

“Hello again, Jinyoung hyung!” the boy at the counter said brightly.

“Hey, Daniel. How are your classes going?”

Jackson totally zoned out on the interaction between the two. Maybe I shouldn’t have dropped out in the first place, he thought. He hadn’t realized how deeply he’d gone imagining the life he could have led until he felt Jinyoung smacking his arm hard.

“Jackson!” he exclaimed, more forcefully, pointing to something. The bulletin board. More specifically, an ad pinned to the board.

An ad for a flatmate. Not too far from here.

“Seems like your lucky day, huh?” Jinyoung clapped him on the shoulder, taking a picture of it at the same time. “Go there today. You really don’t have much of an option.”

Jackson groaned.

“Fine.”

-

The doorbell ringing brought you out of your stupor. Hastily placing the photograph back on your bedside table and wiping your face off with a nearby towel, you made your way to the front door.

Now, you had seen nearly everyone who came by your place looking absolutely wrecked, but it still took you aback every time. You eyed the panting young man who stood outside your door in pity. Perhaps he thought he would have a few more seconds to catch his breath. You wondered how long he had been standing there before he rang the bell.

Fuck the standard questions. “Are you okay?”

He raised a hand and nodded, drawing one last breath and stabling himself. “Yeah. I’m good.”

“It’s quite a climb, isn’t it?”

He nodded. A beat passed in silence and then he seemed to remember why exactly he had rung your bell. “Ah!” he exclaimed, pulling out his phone. “Is this…?”

He turned it around, showing you the screen. You squinted at it, taking the phone in your hand. It was a chat in which someone had sent him the picture of your poster and a message under it—‘pls make a good impression for once’. You pressed your lips together to stifle your amusement—and then you saw the contact who had sent him the text.

“JYP?” You yelped, looking at the man in front of you in awe. “You know JYP?” He snatched his phone back in embarrassment.

“I—That’s a friend,” he said hastily. “He goes to SIU. I just call him that because he has the same name.”

That sounded familiar. “Wait, Park Jinyoung? You’re friends with him?”

Jackson hesitated. “Yeah…you know him?”

You smiled. “I go to SIU, too. He’s my senior. Who doesn’t know him?”

“Oh…that’s cool!” he replied, his face brightening. “I’ll definitely bring him around—if you accept me as your flatmate?”

Ah, so that’s what’s happening here. You crossed your arms, fighting a smile. “Are you already bribing me? I can’t believe you. I already have half a mind to not let you live here.”

His smile fell. “What? Whyy?” He didn’t hide the whine that escaped him.

Aw, that’s cute. “I’m kidding. If you’re a friend of Jinyoung sunbae, I’m guessing you’re a good guy.”

He frowned. “I’m sure that should be the other way, but it’s fine. I’m not arguing. Kinda desperate, here. Do you want me to, like, call Jinyoungie for you? To “affirm my credibility” or whatever?” He made air quotations.

You laughed it off, gesturing that he didn’t need to. He seems like a good guy. Maybe I won’t have to search any longer.

“I’m Jackson, by the way,” he suddenly spoke, looking sheepish. “Forgot to introduce myself.”

“Ah. I’m Y/N. And I’m desperate, too.” You sighed, blowing your hair off your face. “Do you know how glad I am that I rejected the guy who showed up before you? What a douchebag.”

A look of concern flashed across his face. “Someone came before me? Did he, like, try to hurt you or something? You’re okay?”

And he’s already concerned about me. I really really hope he doesn’t end up an asshole.

“I’m perfectly fine. Let’s talk splitting rent.”

.

“That’s the last of it,” Jackson announced.

You stood aside as his friend (Namjoon, was it?) dumped the two boxes he was carrying onto the floor, utterly exhausted. You couldn’t blame him. The two had been walking up and down the four flights of stairs with Jackson’s possessions all morning. You had helped, of course. But they weren’t used to climbing four floors.

“That better be the last, you jerk,” Namjoon spat. “When you said, ‘let’s hang out’, I didn’t think you meant this.” He wiped the sweat off his brow with his sleeve.

“I’ll pay you back for this, man.” Jackson patted his shoulder. “Let me buy you meat tonight.” His friend looked suspiciously at him but relented. You bowed him out.

To be honest, you hadn’t realized how short Jackson was compared to a lot of other people until Namjoon was standing beside him. Although you supposed Namjoon was just a giant. But still.

“I’m so tired,” Jackson whined, flopping down onto his mattress.

“Good,” you retorted, kneeling down to face him. “When you’re tired, you listen better. There is a rule in this household: you’re not allowed in my room.”

Jackson gasped, exaggerating his reaction. “Are you a dictator now? Rules? Will I be chucked into jail if I don’t obey? Do I have to go into hiding?”

You rolled your eyes. “I literally only said you weren’t allowed in my room at any cost. Isn’t that a reasonable request? You can make your own rules, too. No one’s stopping you.”

“Nah.” He shrugged. “You can come into my room, I don’t really mind. Nothing in here anyway.” He turned his eyes on you, narrowing them. “What are you hiding? Please don’t tell me you’re harbouring a fugitive in there.”

“Oh my gosh, no.” You stood up again. “I just want my privacy. My old flatmate respected it, so I expect you to as well. Okay? I’ll respect yours if you respect mine.”

He nodded. “I know. I’m just kidding. Are you always so uptight?” You frowned at the goofy expression on his face. “I promise I won’t go into your room.” He seemed sincere enough.

Maybe he wouldn’t be so bad…

.

“JACKSON!” you shouted, pounding on the wall that divided your bedroom from his. “KEEP IT THE FUCK DOWN!” If the volume went down at all, you couldn’t tell. Weary from lack of sleep for the past week or so, you rolled over and squinted at the time on your phone.

“Three thirty-four,” you muttered furiously. “THREE THIRTY-FOUR!”

And then the doorbell rang. And it rang again.

“Nobody ever does anything in this house,” you said loudly while forcing yourself up off the bed, half-hoping Jackson would hear it. But of course he wouldn’t. The amount of noise that was emanating from his room made sure of that.

The ringing became quite insistent and when you yanked the door open, wondering who on earth it wouldn’t be, you came face to face with Mr. Ok, the next-door neighbor. A tall man in his thirties, you had always found him quite the character—and you would’ve thought his pajamas and bedhead looked cute if it wasn’t for the expression of pure murder on his face.

“Oh…Mr. Ok,” you greeted with a hesitant bow.

“What the bloody hell is going on here?” he nearly spat, hands balling into fists that you knew he wouldn’t hesitate to use if he snapped. “Don’t you know we’re all trying to sleep?”

You winced. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Ok, I’ve been trying to get Jackson to quiet down for a while, but he’s not listening—“

“Where is he?” He growled, stepping inside without invitation. You jumped at the chance of getting Mr. Ok himself to threaten Jackson. You led him gleefully to your flatmate’s door. After pounding on it for a solid minute, in which the noise levels dropped completely, the door opened to reveal Jackson lazily yawning—clearly expecting you to be standing there. His features rapidly rearranged themselves to a politer expression.

“Ah, hyung!” he exclaimed. “What a surprise!”

Hyung? you questioned wordlessly. Since when has he become so chummy with Mr. Ok?

“Surprise, huh?” Mr. Ok hissed, eyes daggers. “What the hell are you doing, making so much noise?” It seemed to be rhetorical, because he didn’t give Jackson a chance to answer. “I have to get up at six, as do many people in this establishment. A lot of them have to go to work, or school, and a lot of them have families to take care of. I’m aware you have no such commitments—perks of being unemployed, I suppose—“ Jackson’s face twisted slightly. “—but that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to do whatever you want. When you live in close proximity with a lot of people, you have to learn to be considerate of others. Forget others, you live with a flatmate. At least be considerate to them!”

Jackson didn’t answer. You assumed he was still stinging over the ‘unemployed’ comment.

Mr. Ok didn’t even try to soothe his harsh words before he stormed out, slamming the door behind him. He must have been tolerating it for longer than he let on.

You crossed your arms and smiled smugly at your flatmate. “I hope you’ve learned your lesson.”

And just like that, his meek façade vanished, to be replaced by a pout. “But I wanted to finish the drama! I need the theatre effect to watch it, otherwise it’s just boring!”

You threw your hands up in the air and groaned, deciding it would be better for your health to just lock the door and then yourself in your bedroom.

Jackson was a mistake. One that you sorely regretted.

In the barely two months that you two began living together, you had learned one thing: Jackson was a force that was very much unstoppable. You would get burned if you so much as dared to try.

You could make a list—hell, you could write a book about the things he did that pissed you off. Was it your problem? Maybe. But it was clear enough that Jackson had certainly never learned how to adjust with people who weren’t on the same energy level as him.

He was loud. Point made. He was boisterous, always moving around, practically bouncing from room to room. You often restrained from asking him what gave him the right to look so damn happy. Perhaps you were just jealous. Your classes had begun again, and while you were working your ass off and burning the midnight oil just to keep your grades up, Mr. Unemployed seemed to be having the time of his life. Where did he even get the money to pay his rent off?

More than once, or even eight times, you had walked into the bathroom to find water literally everywhere—on the toilet seat, around the sink, on the floor, even on the walls. You couldn’t possibly imagine what he was even doing that made the entire damn place wet. He played music at night, loudly, with no regard for your wellbeing and the neighbours’. The nights he came home tipsy were even worse. And now he was watching a drama, it seemed. In full theatre mode.

The one rule you had—of him not being allowed to enter your room—had now expanded into a full three-page document, taped to the wall between your bedrooms.

You remembered how concerned he was about making a good impression in the first couple of weeks. He had even brought his friend Park Jinyoung around to meet you, as promised. Now you understood the pity in his eyes that day. He’d known things would get worse. You still got embarrassed when he sought you out in the cafeteria to ask how you were and if Jackson was giving you a hard time.

Maybe you should take Jinyoung sunbae up on that offer he made.

.

The breaking point came soon after.

It was a Thursday night and you’d just finished an essay due the day after, one that you’d been working on for the past week. So you were already running on barely three hours on sleep a day. It was past midnight, and Jackson still wasn’t home. He was probably lying drunk somewhere. As much as you wished you could just go to sleep and leave him to his own devices, you knew damn well that if he did show up, he would likely leave the door wide open and drool all over the couch.

You weren’t about to get robbed just because of Jackson’s bad decisions.

After calling him yet again and hearing no dial tone, you tossed your phone onto the dining table and waited with your head in your arms.

.

“I’m not drunk, Markipooh!” A loud exclamation, followed by someone shushing the voice sounded outside your door.

You swung it open, looking pissed enough for Mark—Jackson’s go-to designated driver and body hauler—to look ashamed.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “You know I can’t control Jackson.”

“I’m not drunk, though?” Said man slurred, collapsing into a chair.

“Thanks, Mark.” You sighed bitterly. “Go home.”

As the door closed, Jackson lifted his head and repeated, “I’m not drunk, though.”

“Oh, really?” you snapped, raising your voice. “Then listen to this: I’m not your fucking servant or something, just waiting for my master to come home so I can attend to you! I’m a student and I have a shit ton of work to do and just because you are so useless you can’t find a job doesn’t mean I have to suffer for it!”

Fury dashed across his face. Seizing the first thing he saw on the table, he threw it with all his might at the wall behind you, where it shattered and fell sadly to the floor. You tensed, fear coursing through you, trembling as he came closer.

“Fucking shut up, I already have a headache.”

And then he was gone, leaving behind nothing but the stench of alcohol. His door slammed.

Silence.

You slid to the floor, stunned. How could things have gone so wrong?

With shaking hands and a pounding heart, you felt around for your phone. The screen was cracked beyond repair, glass scattered all around you. What did you expect, that it would survive being thrown against a wall with Jackson’s muscle?

Enough, you decided. Enough was enough. He has to go.

And if you cried yourself to sleep that night against the dining room wall, nobody had to know.

-

“Y/N!”

You didn’t even think that anyone would be actually calling your name. So you didn’t stop. The entire day had you fuming internally, and you didn’t think anyone deserved to hear your outburst.

“Y/N!”

You halted. Normally you would be absorbed in your phone, but today you didn’t have it. Of course you didn’t. After last night, you didn’t even think it was safe to. You turned when you sensed the person—what did you mean, person, of course it was Park Jinyoung—catch up to you. If you were in your right mind at the moment, you might be a mildly blushing mess. Who wouldn’t be? It was Park fucking Jinyoung. But now? You were five point three centimeters from losing your temper completely and you couldn’t help but resent him for being friendly with you now when two months ago, he didn’t know your name, despite being your senior.

You sighed, turning around to face him. “Yes, sunbae?”

If he was taken aback by your slight rudeness, he didn’t show it. “I tried calling Jackson yesterday and this morning, and he didn’t pick up. He okay?”

You pursed your lips. “I couldn’t care less about Jackson, sunbaenim. You know my address, if you’re so concerned, why don’t you go and see how he is?” You scoffed and made to turn away, but Jinyoung caught your arm.

“Whoa, what’s with the attitude?” He teased, pulling you along with him down the hall and into the student council’s meeting room, currently empty. “You okay? What did he do?”

A little comforted that he immediately assumed his friend did something wrong, you slumped your shoulders. “A lot happened.”

“Clearly.” He leaned against the president’s desk and folded his arms. You didn’t know if he was analyzing you or not. Your face flushed under his gaze.

“He went out and came back drunk beyond words,” you explained, irritated at the memory. “And maybe I shouldn’t have, but I yelled at him saying that I wasn’t his servant to wait or clean up after him and—” you broke off, hesitating. “I might have told him off for not having a job.”

Jinyoung winced. “He’s pretty touchy about that.”

“Yeah, I figured.” You let out a bitter sigh. “He smashed my phone.”

“Wait, what?” Jinyoung lifted himself off the desk, looking at you in disbelief. “He—he smashed your phone? Jackson Wang?” You nodded, spreading your arms out.

“That’s why I don’t have it today. The screen shattered.”

Jinyoung looked genuinely disturbed. “It’s not like Jackson to lose his temper like that.”

You didn’t want excuses made for him, even if he had been drunk. “Oh, really? Pray, do tell.”

“Y/N—”

“Why? What did I do? Am I wrong?” If your eyes were daggers, Jinyoung would be bleeding now. “Tell me, sunbaenim. Am I just a maid to him?” You bit the inside of your cheek and spoke the words you had been contemplating all night. “I want to say yes to your offer, but he’s going to get kicked out soon. The nieghbours are already blacklisting him. If they tell him to leave, I won’t be able to hold any ground by myself.”

He seemed at a loss for words, appalled by both Jackson’s and your behavior. “Listen, I’ll talk to him, okay?” He checked his watch. “You should get to class.”

What’s the point? You thought, but conceded anyway. Just before you closed the door, you heard him call your name.

“And no, Y/N,” he said, a tight smile on his lips, “you’re not wrong. Give me your phone number.”

-

You refused to return home that day, choosing to stay all night in the library—until Jinyoung met up with you and nearly begged you to go back to your apartment.

“I’ve talked to him,” he had said, “and he’s really sorry about everything that happened last night. Truth be told, he doesn’t remember some of it, but anyway, he’s sorry. Hear him out.”

You couldn’t believe you were being forced to accept whatever pathetic apology your roommate was going to give you—just because he was your roommate and you had to live with him. It just wasn’t fair.

But when you stepped in through the door, the first thing that registered was the aroma wafting to you—the smell of food. Curious, you peered around the door and saw the little table beautifully set, dishes spread out all over it. And behind them all, obediently sitting on a chair, was Jackson. Guilty smile on his face, but still.

So this is his apology, you thought, closing the door and kicking off your shoes. A food bribe.

You pursed your lips as you reluctantly approached him, slinging your bag over the back of another chair. You crossed your arms. “What’s all this?”

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, diverting his gaze from your harsh stare. “I…uh, I wanted to apologize for the stuff I did…last night.” He pressed his lips together. “For breaking your phone and yelling at you and...stuff.” From under the table, he brought out a small box you instantly recognized as one a phone came in. “I got you a new one.”

Your lips parted in surprise. “You—wait, you got me a new phone?” Your tone did not hide your disbelief at all. “But…that’s expensive!”

“It’s my fault that yours is broken beyond repair,” he explained. “I’m obliged to do this.”

You couldn’t speak for a moment. “But…where did you get the money? I didn’t think—“

“Borrowed it from my mom,” he admitted, cheeks turning red. “I got an earful, but I had to do what I had to do.” He looked up at you pleadingly. “I’m really sorry for everything. I don’t usually lose my temper like that, I guess I was just frustrated—that’s no excuse,” he cleared hastily. “I just…I’m sorry.” He gestured to the food on the table. “I got your favourites?”

You didn’t know what to think. Jackson stuck his bottom lip out in a pout.

Honestly, why does Wang look like a kicked puppy when he’s sad?

“I don’t forgive you,” you said firmly. His face fell. “But I do accept your apology.” Ignoring the sigh of relief that he let out, you sat down at the table.

“That’s good enough for now.”

“And I should apologize too,” you remarked, picking up your chopsticks. “I said some harsh things to you yesterday.”

Jackson waved it off. “No. You were right and I just didn’t want to admit it.” He sighed deeply. “I’ve started looking for a job.”

“That’s great, Jackson.” Your smile was genuine now. Looking reassured, your flatmate mimicked you and picked up his own utensils. “I’m glad.”

Jinyoung sunbae, I guess I won’t have to take up your offer after all.

.

“Yah, who the hell are you texting nowadays?”

You heard the whining voice of your flatmate before you saw him. Barely glancing up from your phone, you asked, “What happened, Jackson?”

He scoffed. “See? You’re not even looking at me when you say that. You’re always tapping away on your phone like I don’t exist here! Pay attention to me!” You let out a startled yelp when he plopped his heavy body onto your side. “I don’t think you’ve said a full two sentences to me in the past week.” When you ignored him, angling your screen away, he felt suspicious. “Who are you texting—!”

“Yah!” You attempted to grab your phone back from him in vain. Jackson suddenly sat up.

“Jinyoung sunbae?!” he shrieked. “As in my friend Park Jinyoung?” He held your phone out of reach with one hand and used his free arm to wrestle yours to the sofa seat. “What the hell are you even texting him for?”

“He’s not only your friend, Jackson,” you whined, squirming in his grasp. “He’s really nice to me at university, why can’t I talk to him? He’s my senior, too.”

You made noises of protest as he began to scroll through the messages the two of you had exchanged. Before long, he was spluttering in fury.

“What is this?” He yelped. “Hey Y/N do you want to meet up for coffee? Since when has Jin—actually never mind, since when have you two been that close?” He tossed you your phone and you took it back gratefully. “So this is why Jinyoung says he’s too busy to get food nowadays, huh?” Heat crept up your cheeks. “Are you actually blushing right now?” He howled. “Okay, I can’t take this anymore!”

Your phone began to ring. Both of your heads turned to it.

On the screen was a stupid photo of his friend and the name Jinyoung sunbae.

“Don’t you dare answer that,” Jackson said lowly.

“You’re not the boss of me,” you spat in return, sliding the button to answer, pressing the speaker button simultaneously. “Hello, Jinyoung!”

“Hey, Y/N, what’s up?” came his voice from the speaker. “Are you busy? You didn’t answer my message.”

You giggled at the expression on Jackson’s face. “No, my flatmate was just being annoying.”

“Ah, Jackson? Is he there? Wait, is this on speaker?”

“Yah, Jinyoungie!” Jackson burst out, betrayal written all over his face. “Why are you ignoring me for Y/N? This isn’t fair; you were my friend first!”

“Are you serious right now, Jackson?” Jinyoung’s voice was amused. “I assumed you would be tired and busy from work. I didn’t want to bother you.”

“But what about Wang gae Park gae?” he grouched.

“Wang what?” You looked from the phone to Jackson.

“Never mind about that, Y/N,” Jinyoung interjected hastily. “You’re coming, right?”

“Coming where?” A growl emanated from your flatmate.

“Yeah, sunbae, I’ll be there soon.” With words of parting, you hung up the call.

“Where are you going with him?” Jackson repeated.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” You stood up, reaching for your backpack.

“Why can’t you tell me? I thought I was your flatmate, shouldn’t I be worried? What if you don’t come back?”

You burst out laughing. “Why would I not come back? Don’t you trust your own friend?” He opened his mouth to protest, but you were halfway out the door. “See you later, Jacks!”

-

“You should have seen his face!” you told Jinyoung, laughing along with him at the memory. “Has he always been like that?”

“He’s jealous.” Jinyoung shrugged.

“Hmm. Yeah. He really likes you, you know.” You pointed your pencil at him. “Why do you reject him when he asks you to get food? It’s like stealing candy from a puppy.”

“He likes me?” He retorted incredulously. “The heck? It’s me he’s jealous of.”

It was your turn to be puzzled. “What do you mean? He was literally whining about him being your friend first and that I was stealing you away from him.”

Jinyoung guffawed into the crook of his arm. “Okay, if you don’t believe me, there’s nothing I can do about it.” He jabbed his pen at your textbook. “What are guys learning in class now?”

-

Jackson was bored. His best friend had ditched him for his flatmate. And vice versa, he supposed. How long could someone flop around on a bed and flick a fidget spinner around? He almost wished he had to go in for work today. Even washing dishes sounded better than what he was doing at the moment.

He groaned into his pillow. Why has everyone forsaken me? Honestly Jackson just get your ass up and do something other than faceplanting into the bed.

Pushing himself off the mattress, he stumbled to his feet, still flicking the spinner around. His stomach rumbled. Food,he thought blearily, banging against the doorframe on his way out of the room. “Ow! Fu—whoa, no!” The fidget spinner escaped his grasp and hit the floor sharply, skidding under the door adjacent to his, despite his futile attempts to intercept it with his foot. “Damn!” He stared at the door—Y/N’s door—that he had been forbidden to enter at any time, in any situation. To prove it, there was even a piece of paper stuck to the door announcing the same.

Absently, he laid his palm on the handle, but didn’t turn it. “It’s just a fidget spinner; can’t I just open it real quick, grab it and shut it again? That should be okay, right? I won’t look around.” He chewed his lip, second guessing himself. “Ah, fuck it, I’m practically Y/N’s boyfriend already. There aren’t any secrets to hide.”

Shrugging his shoulders, he turned the handle, eyes trained to the ground.

The spinner was lying on the ground next to a nightstand. Determinedly not looking around the room, Jackson bent to retrieve the damn thing.

His mistake was looking up as he straightened himself.

His eyes fell on the nightstand. Or rather, the photo framed on it.

His breath hitched. He thought his heart might have stopped beating for a moment.

Within the four wooden pieces stood Y/N. Much younger than now; the photo was clearly old. But Jackson’s eyes were on the young boy standing right beside Y/N.

The fidget spinner clattered to the floor again.

“Hyung!”

A car screeching. The sound of an impending accident, lifelong scars.

Screams.

Was that glass shattering? Or dreams?

Commotion. And cries for a person nobody knew.

“HYUNG!”

Jackson gasped, stumbling back a step, the force the picture exerted too strong for him to handle. His plastic toy dug into his heel and he cursed, the pain momentarily diverting his attention from his pounding heart.

Picking up the spinner, he choked out a ‘this can’t be happening’ before darting out of the room and slamming the door behind him.

He needed air.

What is going on? This can’t be possible.

Does Y/N know that I…no. That can’t be. It just can’t be!

Y/N? Of all people? Y/N wouldn’t do that…

Right?

.

Jackson wasn’t home when you got back.

Good for him, you thought. He’s learned to get out of the house by himself.

You stretched, glad to be back inside away from the heat outside. It was refreshingly cold inside…unsettlingly so. Why was it cold? Or were you imagining it?

Wondering if Jackson had become thoughtful enough to cook, you ventured into the kitchen, but then clicked your tongue disappointedly on seeing everything as you left it. Of course he hadn’t.

Sometime during your attempt at making pasta, the door opened.

“Jackson?” you called out, hoping it was him.

“Yeah?”

“You like pasta, right? Come here and help me.”

You were too occupied with the nearly burning food to notice Jackson’s heartbroken expression, but you did see that he was spacing out really bad. It wasn’t like him to not be bursting into speech animatedly at all times.

“Jackson?” you called for the fourth time, waving a spare hand in front of his face. He jolted.

“Ah, yeah.” He rubbed his eyes. “Shit, sorry. What was that?”

“Could you get some water?” He nodded absently before trudging off to carry out his task. You squinted at him. “Something wrong?” He quickly shook his head. But you knew Jackson enough to know that he was very, very bad at hiding his emotions. “Don’t lie, Jacks. I can see it in your face. What happened?”

He shrugged, his confusion disappearing almost entirely. “I—uh, I sorta did something, but I won’t tell you because you’ll get mad at me.”

You tilted your head. “What did you do?”

He shook his head and pouted, some of the playfulness returning. “You’ll get mad at me.”

“I promise I won’t.”

Jackson looked at you hard, for a moment or two, then cast his gaze to the floor. “I went into your room today.”

Those words dropped into your head like a bomb. “You what?” You let the fork clatter to the countertop, nearly lunging at him. He caught your arms just in time and held you away from him.

“You said you wouldn’t get mad!”

You huffed loudly, yanking your arms from his grip. “And you said you wouldn’t go inside!”

He held out his hands, blocking you from coming nearer. “It was an accident! My fidget spinner went under your door!”

You scoffed, turning back to the pot on the stove and wishing your room wasn’t a mess. “Still.” All you could think of were the paintings on the walls and the photos. Had he seen them? Would he ask?

“Hmm.” The two of you lapsed into silence for a while. Neither spoke until the pasta was ready and you divided it between the two of you. You sensed that Jackson was itching to say something, but, coward as you were, you weren’t sure you wanted to hear it.

“Um. Y/N?”

You looked up from your bowl, chopsticks faltering. “Yeah?”

He cleared his throat. “Uh, I know I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help but notice…that picture on your night stand…”

You froze, quickly setting your chopsticks down to hide your trembling fingers.

“Who is that?”

.

Jackson knew a more accurate question would be ‘Who was that?’ but he didn’t dare to ask. You didn’t know who he was. He hadn’t known who you were until this afternoon.

It hurt him. It hurt him to ask about the boy in the photo so casually, as if nothing had ever happened to him, as if one day he would get to see him again. He knew it would hurt you too. But he had no choice. He couldn’t risk the suspicion that he would rouse. You would demand answers. You would hate him for lying, for hiding who he was and what he had been doing.

He stared guiltily at you, where you sat across from him, clutching the table so hard your knuckles turned pale.

“Does—does it matter that you know who it is?” you choked out, evidently trying not to cry.

Jackson abandoned his own chopsticks and reached out to take your shaking hand in his. “It does. It does to me.”

You nodded, eyes red, staring determinedly anywhere but his face. “That’s…Hanyu. My baby cousin.” He inclined his head, encouraging you to tell him more. Even though he already knew it all. “He stayed in the city in the dorms—you know SOPA?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“He got in and…we were all so proud of him. And since I was already here, his parents weren’t worried about him at all. They—they trusted me.” Your voice broke and so did Jackson’s heart. “And one day, there was an accident. Someone took him to the hospital, but he…he fell into a coma.” Nothing more than a whisper. “Four months.”

He didn’t know he had gotten out of his seat until his arms were wrapped around you.

“There wasn’t anything we could do. He was just—getting worse. Every day. His father finally gave the order after hoping for so long. To—let him go.” You burst into tears and Jackson turned you so you were sobbing into his shoulder. “It’s my fault, it’s all my fault. They only let him stay because—because I was here. Because I would be there for him.”

“Hey, hey,” he said softly. “It’s not your fault. It…it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were there for him. Things…these things just happen somehow. It’s not your fault.”

So, it wasn’t you after all?

A huge weight lifted off his chest. He hadn’t realized how much hatred and resentment he’d been carrying around all this time without knowing it.

It wasn’t you.

“How—how are his parents?”

“Not doing good.” You sniffed hard, wiping your tears away. “Not good at all.”

He gripped your shoulders and made you look at him. “What about you?”

He watched helplessly as more tears escaped the corners of your eyes. “Neither am I.”

The last thing you remembered was slumping into Jackson’s arms, drained of energy.

.

You didn’t think you would be telling anyone about Hanyu. You hadn’t told anyone except your psychology professor, who had called you to her office sometime in March because you looked too depressed to be taking your finals. And that too, was reluctant. You knew you should talk to someone about it, you knew you should be accompanying his parents to the therapist you forced them to see, but—maybe it was the prolonged blow that lessened the pain to a dull throb. Hope had ebbed away bit by bit, not all at once.

But talking about him to Jackson was so simple. It was almost as if he understood exactly what you were going through. Almost as if Hanyu was his own brother.

You wondered if Jackson had lost someone dear to him in the past. Maybe he had. That would explain the sudden compassion he had towards you now. You hadn’t told him everything, just the brief story, but he didn’t press further.

He’s sweet, you realized all too late. He really is.

-

You’d think you would be free of your flatmate at least when you went to work on weekends. Jackson was the last person who would willingly enter a library—at least, without an emergency. But no, there he was, still blowing up your phone about how he slipped in the bathroom and thinks he broke his butt, and then found that his ramen was finished so he couldn’t eat (despite there being like, healthy food somewhere in the fridge) and therefore begging you to buy some on your way home because he couldn’t go (due to the broken butt). You were rolling your eyes at the messages, but an endearing smile still crept across your lips.

“Boyfriend?” Daniel crashed his wheely chair into yours, peeking over your shoulder at your phone. You winced at his knobbly shoulder and turned off the screen.

“No.” You shoved his chair away.

“Girlfriend?”

“No.”

Daniel looked confused. “…Partner?”

Wah. What an open-minded king. “No, Kang. Just my flatmate.”

“What?” He scrunched up his nose. “No way. I saw how you were looking at their texts.”

You screeched. “What the heck?” He seemed satisfied at your reaction.

“So, crush?” he confirmed, sniggering at the blush that crept up your neck. “Who is it? Give me their number, I’ll set y’all up.”

“For the love of—”

“Y/N!”

You looked up, startled, to see Jinyoung standing on the other side of the counter. You straightened up, tensing; you had been sort of avoiding him for a while.

“Sunbae.” He pursed his lips at you in a disapproving stare.

“Where have you been? Do I have to come all the way to the public library to see my junior?” He crossed his arms. “Why are you avoiding me?”

“It’s—it’s not like that, sunbae—”

“Don’t say anything. Jackson’s been telling me about his broken ass—” You flinched, eyes darting to Daniel, who for sure misinterpreted that phrase, “—and that you’re ignoring him. What happened?”

“Oh, Y/N’s flatmate?”

Fucking hell, Daniel. Please learn to shut up.

He was sporting a shit-eating grin. “Y/N’s got a crush.”

Jinyoung’s lips immediately curled upward and you waved your arms around, banging them together in an ‘X’. “No. No, I don’t have a crush!”

“You know it’s okay, right?” Your senior reassured you. “He likes you, too.”

Oh.

Wait, what?

“Huh?” The disbelief was evident in your voice. Jinyoung shrugged, a smug little smile on his face.

“Jackson’s my best friend, Y/N. I know him. He tells me things.” He set a book down on the counter in front of Daniel, who obediently took it and scanned it for him. “And I also know he doesn’t have the balls to tell you anything. So, my question is, what are you going to do about it?”

What am I going to do about it? An idea popped into your head and you blurted it out before you could stop yourself. “I’ll tell Jackson I like him when you tell him—what was he called? JB, that you like him.”

Jinyoung’s face paled. “What?”

Now you were the smug one. “You heard me, you hypocrite. Confess to your crush and I’ll confess to mine.”

He squinted at you, clearly plotting his next move. “Fine,” he retorted, sticking his nose in the air haughtily. “I will.”

-

“You still texting Jinyoungie, huh?” Jackson teased, the pout very much audible in his voice. You looked up from your phone. He crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes.

You rolled your eyes. “Dude, when will you get over him ditching you? You know damn well he’s drowning in his love for your other friend—who? JB.”

Jackson tensed a little, but you didn’t seem to notice. “I know,” he breathed out. “JB hyung is so oblivious. So is Jinyoungie.”

“Besides,” you continued, tilting your head coyly, “Jinyoung sunbae says you’ve got a crush on me.”

The way Jackson spluttered at that was hilarious. “Wha—Me? Crush on you? As if.”

“Sure, sure.” You turned back to your phone. Jackson sat down heavily next to you, plopping his head on your lap. You peered under your screen to look at him. “Hello. What are you doing?”

“Pay attention to me.” You chuckled at the whine in his tone. “You don’t talk to me anymore.” He grasped your hand and placed it on his head. You began stroking his freshly dyed strands. You would never admit it but you liked his hair blond.

“Are you going to dye it back?”

He shifted, getting comfortable. “Probably not soon. Why? Don’t you like it?” He sat up, twisting to face you, horrified. “Do I look bad as a blond?”

You leaned back, laughing. “Stop being so dramatic, Jackson!”

Two knocks on the front door and then it opened. You jolted at the sight of Jinyoung staring between the two of you in that position. Jackson turned to follow your gaze and yelled in surprise. Slowly, Jinyoung raised a hand to cover his eyes.

“Yah!” Jackson shouted, the sheer volume causing your ears to pop. “It’s not like that!”

-

As Christmas came and went, your heart grew heavier and heavier. For several reasons. On the one hand, you were crushing hard on your flatmate like some dumb romcom cliché. On the other, that date was approaching you like a truck at eighty an hour with broken brakes.

A year to the day of the accident.

You knew, technically, that Hanyu only passed away in April, but this was truly the day you lost him. Truly the day that something was lost inside you. Something that you may never fully find again…

“Hey, Y/N, you see this?” Jackson bounded over to you holding up a snow globe and shaking it enthusiastically.

…but perhaps, one day, you would.

Your eyes softened as you watched Jackson’s infectious smile bloomed. Would he agree to come with me? He does know about Hanyu, after all.

“Jackson?” you asked quietly.

“Yeah?” He looked up and caught your expression.

“Would you come to a place with me if I asked?”

He tilted his head. “Where?”

You bit the inside of your cheek. “The funeral home.” As his face fell, you continued, “It’s almost a year to the day of…the accident.”

“Ah. It is, isn’t it?” He searched your eyes. “Are you sure about this? About me…coming with you?”

You nodded. “Yeah. I think…I think it would be good. If I had someone to talk to about it. And also haul me home. I’m probably…gonna be a mess.”

Jackson reached out, hesitantly to grip your shoulder tight before drawing your closer for an embrace. “It’s okay,” he said, sounding a little unsure himself. “It’s all gonna be okay.”

-

It was just an ordinary cold Saturday when you and Jackson left the apartment to get groceries at the supermarket. When you two were arguing over ramen, you heard a shout.

“Hey, Jackson!”

Both of you turned to see a tall, broad-shouldered young man stroll over. Jackson straightened immediately. An odd sort of feeling crept up your neck.

He seems familiar. Have I seen him—

You gasped silently.

That’s Jaebeom. How could I forget him?

“Jackson, man, where have you been?” the man asked, clapping his friend on the shoulder.

Your flatmate looked quite uncomfortable. “Guess I got busy, hyung. Sorry.”

You had to speak. “Excuse me? You’re—Im Jaebeom…right?”

Jackson quickly intervened. “This is my flatmate, hyung.”

The man turned his focus to you, narrowing his eyes curiously, before they widened in recognition. “Oh!” He pointed at you. You wouldn’t deny you were surprised he remembered you from almost a year ago. “You’re that...Y/N. Right? From the hospital?” He faltered at the mention of it. “Ah…um. How is he?”

Your heart clenched painfully, but you forced a smile. “He, uh, passed away. In April.” Jaebeom winced at the news.

“Ah, I’m really sorry.”

You waved it away. “No, no, don’t be. You have my eternal gratitude for getting him to the ER. I don’t know how many people would have done that.”

He inclined his head, fidgeting uncomfortably for a moment. “Still…yah, Jackson-ah, you knew? Why didn’t you tell me?”

You turned to Jackson curiously. “Hm?” He was pale, staring at Jaebeom with helplessness in his eyes.

“Ah, you two met there?” Jaebeom asked, contemplating. “When did you guys talk?”

You were confused, not seeing the sharp looks of ‘please-stop-talking’ that Jackson was shooting his friend. “Sorry, what? Met where?”

It was Jaebeom’s turn to look confused. “At the hospital, of course.”

You breathed out a nervous laugh, because you didn’t know where this was headed. “Why would I meet Jackson at the hospital?”

“Hyung!” Jackson interjected suddenly. Suspiciously. Moving his body in between yours and Jaebeom’s. “I think maybe we should finish up our shopping and meet later—”

“No, tell me, Jaebeom-ssi.” You put a hand on Jackson’s shoulder.

Jaebeom was at a loss. He didn’t seem to understand Jackson’s panic, and neither could you. “Jackson was with me at the hospital when we brought him in. We brought him together. I thought he met you there when you came.”

You inhaled sharply, glancing at Jackson with surprise in your eyes. “Jackson.” He flinched, remaining quiet. “Is that true?”

“Hyung, I’ll come over later,” he told Jaebeom quietly, pushing him away. His friend took a step back, wondering why on earth something so simple—good news, in fact—turned awry. He bowed, mumbling out a greeting before he picked up his shopping basket and turned away.

You were shocked beyond words.

Jackson took Hanyu to the hospital. Jackson knew who he was. Jackson knew who you were. What did this mean? Was he tracking you? Was he tracking anyone with connections to Hanyu? Is that why he asked about him and his parents?

“Y/N…”

You suddenly didn’t want to hear anything. Your feet carried you after Jaebeom, calling his name.

-

Jackson was fucked.

Why, he screamed at himself, didn’t you tell Y/N the truth as soon as you found out about it? Why, why, why? Can you blame Y/N for not listening to you? You fucking lied, Jackson!

You hadn’t come back to the apartment until past midnight after running off to talk to JB. He’d waited up for you, but you didn’t spare anything a glance before locking yourself in your room. He’d wanted to call you, wanted to make sure you were okay, but he’d already done enough damage. Were you even willing to talk to him at all? He decided he didn’t want to test it. For all he knew, you thought he was some sort of creep or a stalker or something. You probably hated him.

He fell asleep that night to the sound of you crying from the other side of the wall.

-

Unease. You didn’t know why you were feeling so unsettled. It was a bright cloudless day but you weren’t sharing the spirit. In fact, you were spacing out so much that your partner for your Statistics project had to keep snapping his fingers in front of your face to bring your focus back to him.

“Sorry, Gyeom,” you muttered wearily. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.”

He nodded sympathetically. “Maybe you should go home. I’ll finish up around here.”

“Ah, no.” You shook your head. “I’ll be fine. Let’s finish this.” But your phone was ringing, the caller ID displaying an unknown number. You frowned. “Hello?”

“Excuse me, is this Jia Hanyu’s emergency contact?”

You froze. This wasn’t a voice you knew. Emergency contact? Why—why would they—who…?

“Um. Y-yes?” You were already shaking. Yugyeom looked at you in alarm.

“We need you to come to the General Hospital immediately. There has been an accident.”

A click. You stared at your phone, heart racing, trembling all over. “Oh my god. Oh my god, what do I do? What do I do?” Yugyeom seized your shoulders and forced you down from growing hysteria.

“What. Happened.” His voice was steady enough that you responded the same way.

“General Hospital.”

“I’ll take you there.”

The drive to the hospital was wrought with tension. You could only think of the worst and you were crying by the time you got there, despite Yugyeom’s attempts to calm you down. You let him drag you through the reception and you desperately asked for Jia Hanyu, to be ushered—alone—into the ER. The last thing you remembered seeing was Yugyeom’s reassuring smile before you turned a corner out of sight.

You nearly bumped into a man on his phone in your daze and hastily apologized, but he neither seemed to notice or care.

The talk with the doctor was less than reassuring, however. You signed whatever they thrust at you to get his surgery started and then demanded to know who brought him in.

“Hello,” the young man greeted you politely, his clothes still stained red. He was looking at you carefully as if you would break down any moment.

You forced a wobbly smile. “Thank you so much.” It was barely more than a whisper, but he caught it.

“It was the least we could do,” he replied. Your knees suddenly gave way and you sank into a chair.

“Tell me what happened to him,” you pleaded.

And he told you about the car that came speeding out of nowhere although the signal was red. If you were in your right mind, you might have heard the anger in his voice. It hadn’t been the kid’s fault then. Tears slipped out of the corner of your eyes.

Your gaze rested on his soiled clothes. “I’ll—I’ll replace those,” you said weakly, gesturing to his attire. “They’re ruined.”

“Don’t be silly, of course you don’t have to.” He knelt in front of you. “Are you okay? That’s what matters.”

You nodded, sniffling. “Yeah, I’ll be okay.” You didn’t know why you were attempting the brave front. “You didn’t tell me your name yet. How can I be grateful if I don’t know your name?”

He chuckled under his breath. “My name is Im Jaebeom.”

“Y/N.”

He squeezed your hands. “He’ll be fine, you know.”

“I know. That doesn’t make things any easier.”

“Doesn’t it?”

The two of you sat there in silence before you remembered that this was a person, he probably had plans interrupted, he must need to get home. Reluctantly, he stood to leave, but only after making sure you would be okay.

“And—” you grabbed his wrist. “Yugyeom—he’s sitting out there in reception. Tell him—tell him to go home and that I’ll be fine. Please?”

He nodded. Left.

You broke down completely. And you thought that would be the worst to happen.

You weren’t bargaining on the mess that would happen the next day.

You never thought he wouldn’t wake up.

-

The apartment fell silent in a way that you never thought would be possible after Jackson moving in. There was always noise in it; but no longer. Several of your neighbours had even asked if Jackson had moved out. What were you supposed to tell them? No, he didn’t move out, I just found out he’s a liar and I’m trying to cope with that by ignoring him and he’s too scared to approach me?

In truth, you weren’t totally mad at him or worried that he would be a stalker. After talking things over with Jaebeom, you’d concluded that Jackson hadn’t seen you that day at the hospital (Jaebeom recalled he’d gone to make a call or something). So the first time he saw you really was at the apartment. And that’s why he was so curious about the picture. That’s when he’d known.

But why hide it from you?

-

“Y/N!” You weren’t sure if socializing was a good idea at the moment, but when you bumped into Jinyoung at the coffee shop down the street, you didn’t push him away. He joined the line at the counter right after you.

“Hello, sunbae.” The smile you put on definitely didn’t reach your eyes, but Jinyoung didn’t comment. Most college students had the same problem.

“I did it.” He told you smugly.

“Did what?”

“I told JB hyung that I liked him.”

Despite the inner turmoil you’d been going through for the past few days, you gasped. “Wait, what? Seriously?” He nodded, clearly brimming with glee, bouncing up and down on his heels like a giddy child just given sweets.

“He’s here, I want you to meet him.” He gestured to a table a short distance away. You saw the top of a head and smiled.

“I’d love to.”

He grinned, eyes crinkling. “Thanks, uh, for encouraging me to.”

You let out a laugh. “Um, you’re welcome? I didn’t really think you’d do it; I only said that to get you off my back about Jackson.” And as soon as the name rolled off your lips, your heart sank.

Jinyoung must have sensed the distress in your expression, because he asked, “Are you okay? Did you guys fight again?”

“I guess you could say that.” After placing your orders, you followed him to their table, eager to meet this JB hyung you’d heard so much about.

You saw the man break into a wide smile on seeing Jinyoung return, but the moment you came within his line of sight, his face fell in surprise. So did yours.

“Y/N?” he asked, incredulous.

“Jaebeom?” You were in equal disbelief. A moment of silence passed when you two looked at each other and Jinyoung back and forth between.

“You guys know each other?” Jinyoung questioned. “Ah, did Jackson introduce you? I thought you and Jackson weren’t talking, hyung.”

“This is your JB hyung?” You laughed.

Jaebeom looked sheepish. “My friends call me that.”

Jinyoung was just sitting there next to you, across from Jaebeom, confused. Jaebeom decided to take pity on him.

“Nyoung, you remember I told you that Jackson and I took a kid to the hospital? Last year?”

He nodded. “Yeah, the car accident.”

Your chest felt tight. “That was my cousin.”

Jinyoung’s mouth fell open in shock. “Wait, what?” His eyes darted around, thinking. “And…Jackson knew who you were?”

You shook your head. “I met Jaebeom-ssi at the hospital that evening, but I didn’t see Jackson. He didn’t know I was the emergency contact until a month ago or something. But he didn’t tell me he was the one who took Hanyu to the hospital. I only found out a week ago when we bumped into Jaebeom-ssi at the supermarket.”

Jinyoung sat there, stunned. “I can’t believe he didn’t tell me any of this.”

“He told me everything a few days ago,” Jaebeom interjected. “But he made me promise not to tell anyone.” He leaned forward and stared at you. “You’re still not talking to him, are you?”

You lowered your head in guilt. “I want to. It’s just—he lied to me and I don’t know why. I want to talk to him, but I just—don’t know how to break the silence.”

“His heart’s…in the right place,” Jaebeom assured you. “Honestly, I don’t think even he knows why he hid it from you.”

“I think I might know,” Jinyoung said softly. Both of you turned to look at him.

“I thought he didn’t tell you anything.”

“Not the recent stuff,” he agreed, “but he did tell me what happened last year.” He searched your eyes, probably wondering how to put things into words. “Did Jackson tell you that he visited Hanyu at the hospital?”

You stilled. “He—he visited Hanyu?”

Your senior nodded. “He went nearly every week to check up on him, to see if there was any progress.”

Your jaw dropped in shock. “What?”

Jaebeom glanced over at his boyfriend, biting his lip nervously. “I think Jackson should be the one explaining all this.” Jinyoung looked sufficiently chastised.

“I’m just saying that might be the reason,” he hastily said. “He was really…devastated when he passed, you know. Came to me bawling his eyes out. I really didn’t know what to do.”

“Where was I during all this?” Jaebeom questioned.

“Japan, I think. But Y/N, I’m not saying you shouldn’t be mad at him,” your senior advised. “I can understand that. But, you know, hear him out. I’ll talk to him if you want. He’s not a bad guy.”

You inclined your head. “I understand. I’ll—I’ll listen to what he has to say.”

-

You went back that afternoon, heart in your throat.

What do I tell him? What do I say? How do I break this silence?

-

You waited.

The clock struck ten, then eleven.

Twelve.

You fidgeted with your phone, anxiety seeping through you. Where was he?

Should I call him? Would that be—ah, never mind. Why should I be the one to patch this up? I didn’t do anything wrong! He’s the one who should apologize. Why isn’t he here?

An hour later, you weren’t thinking about the politics of your troubles. You were worried now, very much so. You tried to call him, but his phone was switched off. Had he run away somewhere? What was going on? Should you call the police?

It was past one thirty when an unknown number called you. You stared at your phone, heart pounding, tears already pricking at the corners of your eyes.

Not again, you thought desperately. Please not again.

“Hello?”

“Y/N, it’s me. Jaebeom.” He didn’t waste any time. “Jackson’s with me; I figured you would be worried.”

You sunk into the sofa cushions, a hand over your heart. Oh, thank heaven. “He—he’s with you?”

“Yeah, he—uh, I’m guessing he went out by himself because he’s drunk out of his mind. Came knocking at my door a while ago.”

You didn’t know what to think. “Ah. I tried calling him, but…”

“Oh, his phone’s dead.” You heard muffled noises on the other end. “I wanted to call you sooner, but I had to find your number from his wallet.”

“His…his wallet?”

“Yeah, you’re his emergency contact. He has your info written down on a piece of paper.”

“Oh.” Your voice sounded very small. “I see.”

He cleared his throat. “Um, he’s asleep now, but I’ll send him over tomorrow after his hangover’s gone down.”

“Ah. Yes. Thank you, Jaebeom-ssi.” You paused, about to hang up.

“Wait, uh, Y/N?”

“Yes?”

Jaebeom sounded hesitant. “Okay, I’m…I’m not as great with words as Jinyoung is, but…um, I think you should know that Jackson is a good guy. Like, I know he may have hidden some things from you, but he wasn’t trying to, like, hurt you or anything.”

You swallowed down the lump in your throat. “I know.”

“He was crying, you know.” Jaebeom made an uncomfortable noise, as if he didn’t know how to proceed from there. “When he showed up here. I couldn’t understand what he wanted to say, but I heard your name. He really cares about you, yeah? Even if—even if he doesn’t tell you.”

You nodded slowly, before remembering that he couldn’t see it. “Yeah, I—I understand.”

There was a brief awkward pause, before he coughed. “So, um, yeah. You should…probably sleep. Good night.”

“Right. Good night.”

You silently set your phone down and put your head in your hands. When did all this become so complicated? Why was it so difficult? I guess it’s my fault for not listening to him or giving him a chance to explain. Do I just wait for him to come back? What do I say?

-

The sun rose bleakly on the next morning.

You awoke to the jarring sound of the alarm ringing in an empty, silent apartment.  Laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, you sighed, going through everything that happened a year ago, a month ago, a week ago. Wondering how things had escalated to this. It’s better not to overthink about it. When he comes back, we’ll either talk it out or fight it out.

Around ten, Jaebeom shot you a text informing you that he’d sent Jackson back.

You sat on the sofa, giving you a view of the front door. You would wait. Waste no time. Just get it over with. You were vaguely aware of your heartbeat in mild panic state.

At last, someone knocked, tried the door and opened it.

Jackson’s gaze fell on your stoic expression and he flinched. Slowly stepping in and removing his shoes making as little noise as possible, he stood in the doorway for a moment before sitting down on the other end of the sofa.

Neither of you spoke.

You sensed him fumbling with his fingers, itching to say something.  

“I went to see him.”

You didn’t respond. He took your silence as invitation to continue.

“Every week. I—I don’t know why, to be honest. I just…” He shook his head. “I just felt some sort of attachment to him. I wanted him to get better. I really did.”

Your heart ached at his words. How could you be angry for this? For his compassion?

“When I went the day after he…” he broke off. “When I went, I was told…the news. And I didn’t know how to take it. I couldn’t say goodbye. I couldn’t believe that anyone would give up on him.” He drew in a deep breath, still clearly anxious at your silence. “Deep down I guess I knew that there was nothing we could do and it was easier to…end his suffering, but…I didn’t want to accept it, I guess. I know that sounds silly, but—”

“It’s not silly.”

He paused, hesitant. Your voice was rough from lack of use.

“Ah.” He scratched the back of his neck. “I…I shouldn’t have, but I think I just put my resentment on whoever his emergency contact was, you know? I guess I figured they made the decision.” You felt tears beginning to form but your blinked them away. “I really didn’t know it was you. Or that you weren’t—”

“I know, Jackson.” You finally looked up at him. He was on the edge of his seat, worried but hopeful. “The boys told me everything. I just wish you hadn’t lied.”

“So do I,” he said sincerely.

The two of you stared at each other, not saying anything. Jackson seemed ready for an outburst, a single sentence that you weren’t going to forgive him.

“Why would you do that, though?” You spat, slamming your hand down onto the cushions. Jackson jumped, startled.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N, I didn’t think—”

“Do you have any idea how worried I was when you didn’t come home last night?”

“—find out…wait, what?” He was dumbfounded. “Oh.”

“I was this close to calling the police, you know that? I don’t even know how many gods I thanked when Jaebeom called saying you had crashed at his place. Why do you have to go and get drunk, huh? Why do you have to put yourself in danger like that?”

Jackson visibly relaxed, a small smile breaking across his lips. “I’m so sorry. Does this mean I’m forgiven?”

“You’re so stupid.” And you stretched your arms out for a hug. He melted into it, holding you tight so he’d never let you go. “He would have loved you, too,” you murmured into his shoulder.

He drew back, eyes uncharacteristically serious. That was a grand statement you had just made. But you weren’t going to withdraw that. You knew it was true.

“Does-does that mean you—love me?” Jackson spluttered, blotches of red forming on his cheeks. And then you realized exactly what you had said.

“What? No,” you retorted defensively, pushing him away. “What are you talking about? I never said anything like that.” And then you jumped up to run away, squirming out of his firm grasp. His fingers found your sides and you burst out gasping.

Laughter rung through the still apartment.

There was happiness again.

-

“Hyung, you called Y/N yesterday?”

“Yeah, I did. You think your flatmate wouldn’t be worried about you?”

“What did you say?”

“Ha. I didn’t say anything. Why? Should I have told Y/N you were saying “I love you” in your sleep?”

-

“Yeah, Jinyoung, I’ll be there, don’t worry so much,” you spoke into the phone you balanced on your shoulder. Your hands were busy washing out the dishes you’d used for lunch. “How’s Jaebeom doing?” You hummed as your senior (now graduated, big whoop, whatever, ugh) went into an explanation on how his boyfriend’s cat woke them up yowling at three in the morning because she got herself stuck on top of the display cabinet and he couldn’t go back to sleep.

“Is Jackson there?” he asked you. You wiped your hands hastily on a washcloth before taking your phone in your hand and stepping over to the window.

“No, he had a morning shift,” you informed him. “He was supposed to be here by now, come to think of it.” You glanced out, wondering where he might be.

“Ah, okay. Remind him to come tomorrow, too.” Jinyoung paused. “Wait, is it a good idea to bring Jacks? Do you think he’ll be too loud? I don’t want to blow this—”

“Jinyoung, relax,” you reassured. “Jaebeom’s parents already love you, I don’t see why you’re so afraid—”

“That’s when we were just friends!” He cried, panic evident in his tone. “I don’t even know what they’ll say about this!”

Your phone made a funny beeping noise. “Jinyoung, you’ll be fine. I promise you. I’ll call you back, okay? I’m getting another call.” You hung up on him to see an unknown number calling. Without thinking twice, you answered. “Hello?”

“Excuse me, is this Jackson Wang’s emergency contact?”

-

A/N: *bowing* I’m very sorry.

[chickensarentcheap]

Best Part of Me -Chapter 23

WARNINGS: SMUT. NSFW.

Tagging: @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​

“So how mad are you?” Tyler asks, as he stands in the doorway of the main floor laundry room, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed over his chest.  

The situation is touch and go. She hadn’t set foot upstairs while he’d carried out Millie’s bedtime routine or when Kyle had wandered in with a sleeping five year-year old under each time; dumping each of them fully clothed into their beds before taking off again.

“Why would I be mad at you?” she counters, as she gathers a bundle of laundry from inside the dryer and drops them on top of it. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Well, besides getting  glitter all over the goddamn place.”

“You can blame your daughter for that. She's a little obsessed with sparkly shit.”

“Just a little,” Esme agrees with a grin.

He takes it as a sign that all is well between them and finally approaches, standing behind her and pushing a hand through her hair, tangling his fingers in the soft, fine tresses and lightly tugs; drawing her head back and kissing her. Teeth lightly capturing her bottom lip as he pulls away, and she gives a grin and reaches back to grab a hold of his ass, lightly squeezing before he steps beside her.

They work in companionable silence; each tending to handfuls of clean clothes that they drop into a wicker basket that sits on the floor between them. And he glances over at her every few seconds; eyes wandering her entire form; clad in nothing more than one of his old t-shirts, tattered and filled with holes and paint stainss.  Taking in the way her hair falls to just below her shoulders and brushes against the sides of her face; the natural red high lights sparkling under the artificial light.

She catches him watching her and a grin tugs at the corner of her mouth, a slight blush creeping into her cheeks and the tips of her ears. Almost seven years later and she’s still self-conscious about how she looks to him. Always fretting about the shape of her ass or the size of her thighs and how wide her hips have gotten. He sees none of that; he doesn’t notice the extra ten pounds she complains about or the stretch marks she tries desperately to hide. All he sees is the woman that he’d fallen in love. And keeps falling in love with each passing day.  

“Tyler...” she says.

“Esme...”

“Why are you staring at me?”

“I’m not staring. I’m admiring. I’m not allowed to admire my wife?”

“Admiring or critiquing?”

He frowns. “What the hell is there to critique?”

“I’ve had five kids. Things don’t look like they used to,” she laments. “I’m definitely not the same person I was when we met.”

“Neither am I.”

“But you’re only getting better with age. Me? I just get worse.”

“Baby, have you looked in the mirror lately? Because you look fucking amazing. And I know you’re just going to say I’m just being biased or that I’m just trying to boost your ego. But it’s true. Every word. You’re beautiful and you’re sexy and you always will be in my eyes.”

He hates not only what her own battle with depression and the monsters from her past has done to her, but also her disastrous first marriage; Mark’s abusive behavior –physical, emotional, sexual- leaving so much damage in its wake. And it’s been a full-time job in itself getting her to see herself the way he does. It’s his main bone of contention in their marriage: having to listen to her degrade herself and drag herself down when he just wants to worship the ground she walks on.

“Even after five kids?” she challenges.

“Especially after five kids. I don’t know what more I can say. How to get you to see yourself like I see you. I just wish you would.”

“Maybe you need glasses.”

“Maybe you need to stop. I love you. And I think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. I have since that day you walked into my place. I don’t see what you do.  I don’t see the extra weight you bitch about or the marks on your skin or the how your clothes don’t fit like they used to. All I see is you.”

“You really are determined to make me cry by the end of the night,” she teases, and playfully slaps him in the face with one of Addie’s sleepers.  

She watches the way his hands move as they fold that simple piece of clothing. His hand –from the base of his palm to the tip of his middle digit- longer than the actual sleeper itself; those fingers with their various scars and their swollen and misshapen knuckles never fumbling as they tend to impossibly tiny buttons.  She knows what those hands are capable of; the things that they’d done. The blood he has on them; hundreds of men in Dhaka alone were dead because of those hands. Large and powerful. Frightening, even.  

But she also knows how those hands feel; the callouses on the palm and the even more prominent one on the right index digit; his ‘trigger finger’. She knows they’re capable of inflicting so much more than brutality and death. They can be soothing and gentle; rocking babies to sleep, caring for the kids’ injuries and clearing away their tears, massing her aching back when in the agonizing final stages of childbirth. And she knows how they feel during intimate times; how they can alternate between gentle and rough depending on his mode and what how she wants and needs his touch to be. She’s experienced those delirious heights of pleasure that they’re more than capable of bringing her to.  

She looks away; the mere thought bringing a flush to her cheeks and a familiar warmth that builds between her thighs and in the pit of her stomach.  

“I was always looking at you because I was trying to figure out if you’re wearing underwear or not,” Tyler admits.

“This is not a safe house to walk around in wearing JUST a t-shirt.  Not only do we have all kinds of little people that can show up out of nowhere, but now we have Kyle wandering in and out.”

“How long’s he staying for anyway?”  

“He SAID his vacation was for two weeks.”

“But? There’s a ‘but’ coming. I can feel it.”

“He did say if he liked it here that much, he might not go back.”

Tyler sighs.

“I thought you liked my brother.”

“I do. I just don’t like the baggage he brings with him.”

She smirks. “Nik?”

“We just got rid of her. He sticks around, that means she’s going to come back. And I don’t know about you, but the less of her the better.”

“She does tend to bring the drama with her.”

“Drama, home wrecking, whatever you want to call it.”

“But if we could get him away from her...”

“We are NOT getting involved. We just talked about this. We agreed to stay out of it.”

“No, you agreed to stay out of it,” Esme corrects.  

“And I told you to stay out of it.”

“When do I ever listen to anything you say?”

He smirks.

“We could always kick Chloe out and have Kyle take her place.”

“You mean Ovi could kick Chloe out. Because we’re not doing shit. We are staying out of people's personal crap. Didn’t you hate when people were always in our shit back in Colorado? Your mom, your other brothers...”

“But they’re evil and were always trying to cause problems. We’re trying to avoid a huge problem. If we get Kyle away from Nik, then there’s no more Nik. That way if he stays here, we won’t have to worry about her coming around and sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong. Neither wants you to stick in her...”

“Let’s not start that conversation again.”

“I’m just trying to think of what’s best for my brother. And I know she’s not it.”

“Then you never should have set him up with her in the first place. This is kind of all your fault.”

Frowning, she rolls up the beach towel in her hand and smacks him hard across the ass with it.  

“I’m just saying that we need to stay out of. Let Kyle do what he wants and whatever happens, happens. I just don’t want him living here. We have enough people living under this roof. We don’t need another one.”

“And yet you want another kid,” she scoffs.

“That’s totally different and you know it. That’s a kid. That we’d make together. Kyle’s a grown ass man. Let him be one. Stay out of it. If he wants to marry Nik, let him marry Nik. If he wants to dick down the neighbor, let him dick down the neighbor. Who gives a shit?”

“And if he’s dicking down both?”

“Then good for him. He’s lucky.”

She rolls her eyes.

“He manages to juggle both of them, he’s a fucking legend.”

“You’re going to be juggling both your balls in a second. Is this your sly of way of telling me you want to be dicking down the neighbor?”

“Are you fucking insane? No way in hell.”

“You have to admit, she’s cute.”

“She’s not you. I don’t want to be dicking down anyone else, okay?”

“You know,” she grins. “Sometimes you can really redeem yourself.”

“And even if I did want to, I wouldn’t have the energy to dick anyone else down anyway.”

“I’m not sure if that’s reassuring or...”

“Just you, baby. I only want you.”

She smiles, then lightly bumps his hip with her own.  

“So I never did get a yes or a no.  About the underwear.”

She gives a dramatic sigh and then lifts the bottom of the t-shirt to her waist; giving a slight peek of the elaborate and colorful tattoo that graces her entire left rib cage, and a look at the lacy black garment that sits low on her hips but is cut high on her ass. “Good?”

“Very good. Very, very, very good.”

“You’re getting easy to please in your old age. Pretty soon all it’s going to take is some side boob to get you in the mood.”

He grins. “Who says it doesn’t already?”

“You have been very...what’s the word...amorous...lately.”

“Lately?”

“I mean, you always are. You always HAVE been. Our track record was amazing sex over the past almost seven years is remarkable. But since the doctor gave that green light, you’ve been extra...I don’t know...extra.”

“Do you blame me? I just went four months having to flog the bishop two to three times a day.”

“Flog the bishop,” she can’ t help but laugh. “Baby, you’re so cute.”

“What I am is horny.”

“Yeah,” a grin tugs at her lips.  “I’ve noticed that the last couple of days.”

“No. I mean like right now. This very second.”

“I’m busy.”

“Get unbusy,” he says, and yanks the piece of clothing she’s folding out of her hand and tosses it aside.

“You need to chill,” Esme suggests, and then has the nerve to bent over in front of him as she fetches a wayward sock off the floor; the shirt slipping up to the small of her back.

Just the mere sight of her ass –that smooth, pale skin- causes his cock to stir; the pressure beginning to build in the pit of his stomach.  And he reaches out, running a fingertip along the edge of the lace, feeling the goosebumps that prick her flesh.  Finger slowly travelling over her skin until he reaches her hip; then pressing his palm against it and squeezing tightly.  

“That hurt!” she scolds and reaches around to rub at the tender spot. “What’s gotten into you?”

“It’s what I want to get into you.”

“Okay, well can give you five minutes to get shit done? Patience is a virtue, after all.”

“Screw patience,” he growls, the slams the dryer door closed and places on hand her stomach and the other at the base of her throat, fingers applying slight, yet firm pressure as he presses his erection against her.  His hand slips down the front of her panties; fingertip dragging along the top of her pubic bone, his breath warm and moist as his mouth hovers by next to her ear. “Let’s fuck.”

She opens her mouth to respond, but all words escape her when she feels the tip of his nose and the scratch of his beard against the side of her throat, followed by the sensation of his hot, wet mouth. Lips aggressive and demanding against the skin; teeth lightly grazing along the flesh, fingers pressing harder and deeper into her neck.  His aggression has always been a turn on; starting with that moment he’d pinned her against the wall in the hotel room in Dhaka in a fit of a rage. She’d quickly discovered it was what she liked. What she craved. And she’d initially been ashamed because of it; Mark had caused a tremendous amount of pain and torment during their shit show of a marriage, so she’d felt disappointed and disgusted in herself for wanting sex to be that way with another man. But she’d learned that the two situations were vastly different; one was abuse, the other someone she trusts with her life. Who’d never intentionally do anything to hurt her.

She presses her ass against him; loving the way he groans in her ear. It’s empowering. Knowing you have that kind of effect of someone. When you know all the little things that drives them crazy; those magic spots that can nearly bring them to their knees. And she reaches up to grab a hold of his hair as he kisses her. His tongue aggressively pushing its way into her mouth just as his hand slides lower into her panties, palm cupping her mound; hot and wet against his skin. Giving a low moan of approval at the sensation before his mouth finds the side of her throat once again. Her eyes closing and the grip on his hair tightening as two of his fingers push past the swollen lips, the ends coming in contact with her clit; causing her body to shudder against and her hips to jolt backwards, bringing her ass in contact with his cock yet again.

“Fuck...” he growls. The simple contact even through the fabric of his sweats causing the pressure to build; erection painfully straining against the confines around him. And she cries out when his teeth clamp down on the juncture between neck and shoulders and he slips two fingers inside of her.   “So good...” he breathes, mouth against her neck. “...you feel so good...and you’re so fucking wet.”

“For you,” she says. “Only for you.”

A low and almost feral moan resonates from deep within his chest and removes his hand from inside of her panties. His gaze never wavering from hers as he licks and sucks her fluid from his fingers, the taste sweet and delicious on his lips and his tongue.  

“Tastes so good,” his voice is low. “So fucking good.”

There’s a primal, animalistic look in his eyes; a hunter stalking its prey.   And it makes that aching and longing between her legs almost overwhelming; almost too powerful to bear.  She grinds her ass against him once more; feeling how hard he is through the fabric of his sweats. His breathing quickening and become more ragged as she continues to rub against him, feeling the way his fingers bite into her hips. And she attempts to slip her own hand between her legs to chase some relief, but he roughly grabs her by the wrist, then brings her arm behind her back.

“I don’t fucking think so,” Tyler snarls, and uses the force of his grip and the weight of his body to propel her towards the countertop across the room. A knee pushes her legs apart as he keeps her arm secure behind her back; his other hand roughly yanking her panties off her hips and over her ass, letting them to pool at her ankles. “Take them off,” he orders, and she hurriedly obliges.  

Anyone else in this situation and it would scare her, the intensity in his eyes, the aggression in both his voice and his movements. But the trust is there. It always has been. The confidence that he’d never hurt her; that he’d stop the very second she showed any signs of pain or discomfort.

Tyler tightens his hold on the wrist that’s pinned behind her back and pushes her further into the countertop. His free hand on her shoulder; pushing her upper bod down before hastily shoving down his sweatpants. “Open,” he demands, using a thigh to push apart her legs. And still holding her arm firmly behind her back, the other hand settles on her shoulder as he pushes into her with one smooth, solid thrust that has her crying out, cheek pressed against the cold ceramic beneath her.  

He hesitates; leaning over to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “You okay, baby?”

“Mm...hmm...” she responds, and pushes her ass back, encouraging him to continue.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Just fuck me,” she orders. “Now.”

He grins. “You’re demanding.”

“Now!” she forcefully repeats and reaches back to dig her nails into his thigh, hard enough to break the skin.  

He pulls out completely, smirking at the disappointed, pissed off look that crosses her face before slamming back inside of her with brutal force.  It always surprises him; how someone that small and seemingly fragile can take as much as she can. How she’s always so eager and willing to this side of him to come out; aggressive, mean, controlling. Sometimes it even scares him; how quickly he can lose control of both the situation. Afraid that he’ll hurt her and then spent a week hating himself for it.  

But he gives her what she wants. Repeatedly driving into her; that arm still pinned behind her back, the other hand now on the back of her head; spurred on by her pleas for ‘harder’ and ‘faster’. Sweat beading across his forehead and gathering at the nape his neck and the small of his back. Fucking her until she loses the ability to form coherent words and is gasping and sobbing; tears streaming down her face. Hips jerking back towards him, matching every movement.   And he drops the hand from the back of her head and reaches between her legs, fingers easily finding her clit; vigorously and relentlessly rubbing at it until her orgasm hits her. The scream muffled against the countertop and those internal muscles contracting almost painfully around his cock. It quickly brings on his own release; a few deep, controlled thrusts until a deep, low growl rumbles in chest and he empties himself inside of her.

He finally releases the hold on the arm behind her back; both hands now resting on her hips as he closes his eyes and drops his forehead onto her shoulder. Chest heaving and legs sharking as he attempts to regain his composure.

“Tyler...” she reaches around and lays a hand on his thigh, trying to push him back. “...I love you, but you’re really fucking heavy.”

He didn’t realize his entire weight had collapsed against her, and he places a kiss on her cheek and gives an apologetic smile before backing away, withdrawing completely.  Snagging a towel from the laundry basket, he uses it to clean himself up, then gently presses it between her legs. “You alright?”

Esme nods.

“Was I too rough?”

She shakes her head. “You were perfect. But I swear to God if you got that towel out of the clean basket...”

“Sorry,” he gives a sheepish grin, then kisses her softly before tossing the item in question into the nearby sink before pulling his sweatpants back up. “Here,” he locates a pair of pajama pants in the dryer and hands them to her. “I don’t think you’ll want to put that underwear back on. They’re a little...wet.”

“Well if you didn’t have that effect on me, they’d be perfectly fine,” she retorts, and then turns to face him; hands on his chest for balance as he helps her slip into the pants.  “I never thought you’d be the type of guy who’d be into aftercare,” she teases.

“I never was. Until I met you.”

“Look at me. Bringing out all the good sides of you.”

“All the best sides,” he declares, then lays a hand on the back of her head and kisses her. “You sure you’re okay? I think I was a little too into it.”

“I would have told you if you were. You were amazing. Trust me. And thank you,” she stands on her tiptoe to kiss him, her arms wrapping around his neck. “I love you,” she says, as she buries her face in his chest, fingernails lightly scraping against the bottom of his hairline. “So much.”

“I love you too, baby,” he brushes his lips against her temple. “Always.”

****

The second time lasts longer. Slow yet intense love making that follow two rounds of foreplay.  Now they lay in a mix of tangled sheets and sweaty limbs; on their sides with her back tucked into his front, one of his legs draped over hers and their tightly clasped hands pressed against her stomach.  Tyler’s eyes are closed, tip of his nose and his lips pressed against the nape of her neck; happy and sated. Not just from the sex, but from the intimacy afterwards; lying together and feeling the warmth that radiates from her body and the familiar smell that clings to her hair. And she gives a long, content sigh and turns her face to the side, smiling back at him.

“You asleep?” she asks.

“Nope. Just completely and utterly fucked out.”

She laughs at that, and he gives a chuckle of his own and raises his head long enough to kiss the corner of her mouth.

“I love you,” he says, and brushes his nose against her temple.

“I love you too,” she snuggles tighter into him and increases the grip on his hand. “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing really. Just lying here. Thinking about how happy my dick is right now.”

She snorts.

“Which is very fucking happy, by the way.”

“If he wasn’t, I’d be very insulted.”

“What are you thinking about?” he inquires.

“You probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

He frowns. “As long as it’s not Dhaka. Because if you say Dhaka...”

“It isn’t Dhaka,” she assures him. “As amazing as those five days were...”

“Best five days of my life.”

“...I was NOT thinking about that place. I was thinking about that shack of yours. After Millie brought it up, I started thinking about wanting to go there and see it.”

“It doesn’t look the same anymore. Not after what he’s done do it.”

“You mean it actually has walls and an actual roof now?”

“Listen, smart ass...”

“I don’t care what it looks like. I just want to see it. It’s where everything started. It’s where WE started.”

“Technically WE didn’t start until Bangladesh.”

“But we met there. At the shack. It’s where I first saw you. It would be nice to go and see it. To see Koen again. And bathroom chicken.”

“I don’t think bathroom chicken is there anymore. I think he’s probably made dinner out of her by now.”

“That dick. That’s fucking savage.”

Tyler chuckles and presses his lips to the side of her head. “You eat chicken,” he reminds her.

“I wouldn’t have eaten HER. We could have kept her as a pet. Or considered her our first child.”

“I remember when we were in Dhaka and...”

“Hey!” she jabs him in the stomach with her elbow. “No saying the D word.”

“When we were THERE, I used to think about how we’d make things work. If they went okay between us and we didn’t kill one another while we were travelling. If you’d be happy staying there with me whenever you came to town.”

“Why wouldn’t I have been?”

“It wasn’t exactly five-star accommodations.”

“You were a bachelor. You didn’t care what your place looked like. You were on the job so much it was basically just a place to eat and sleep. And fuck some of your pieces of ass.”

“I never had any pieces of ass there. I didn’t want anyone close to home. In case they got attached and started showing up all the time.”

“What about Nik? I’m sure she visited you there.”

“We only ever fucked when I was on a job and she’d show up at the hotel. Never at my place. I didn’t want her there. I didn’t want ties to anyone, which meant keeping them away from my place.”

“You’re a very complex man, Tyler Rake,” she muses. “But you thought about having me there.”

“Because I wanted you there. I wanted you to be part of my life. If it was a dick and ditch, I would have told you right from day one. When we first fucked.”

“So you wanted to keep me around. Right from the start.”

“More like from the third day in. I was hopeful. That you’d want to stick around.”

“And here I was thinking it was me getting attached way too soon,” she teases, and he smiles against the back of her neck. “I was hopeful too. That there’d be more to it. That we’d travel like we planned and find out if we actually liked each other outside of sex. We never got that chance though.”

“No. We didn’t.”

“Do you regret that?” That it never went according to plan?”

“No.  It’s the butterfly effect, right? Change one thing, everything changes?”

She grins. “When did you become the deep thinker?”

“Not just a pretty face and big muscles, baby. If things had had went the way we planned, there’s a chance that the twins and Declan and Addie wouldn’t even be here. The only for sure one is Millie.  Because I wasted no time knocking you up with her.”

“Your swimmers were very determined,” she concludes. “I wonder what day of the five it happened on. I hope it wasn’t the first day.”

“Why’s that?”

“You want your daughter knowing she was conceived while you were choking me?”

“You want her to know how much you like it?” He counters.

“How about we agree to keep our mouths shut. Because those five days were extremely dirty and what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Deal?”

“Deal,” he agrees, and presses his lips to her shoulder; lingering on the lotus flower tattoo that graces her skin.

“I would have been happy there,” she says. “At the shack.”

“Yeah?”

She nods. “I think WE would have been happy.”

“Wouldn’t have been able to raise a family there. Maybe one kid. But not five.”

“We would have had to move once we found out about the twins. Or added onto the place.”

“The outback is not a place to bring up kids. Trust me.”

“I would have liked some time with you there. Even just a little while.”

“Honestly? I would have just liked to fuck you there. At least once.”

She looks over her shoulder at him, frowning.

“What? You have your thing, I have mine. Just ‘cause it sounds weird, doesn’t mean it is. And I’m not gonna lie, I would have done it that first day.”

“Seriously? What about Nik?”

“She could have watched.”

“I don’t fucking think so,” Esme scoffs. “Bad enough she’s seen you naked. I don’t want her seeing me naked. Seeing us...you know.”

He grins. “Fucking?”

“To be crude about it, yes.”

“She could have just waited outside then,” Tyler reasons.

“You wanted to seriously fuck me the first day we met?”

“First day? First ten minutes. Do you blame me? I’m a guy. And you walked in there looking so cute and...”

“Cute? You’re calling me cute?”

“What’s wrong with being called cute? I think you’re very cute.”

“I want to be beautiful and sexy and alluring and...”

“You’re those things too.  But sometimes you look cute. That’s not an insult. You’re tiny and cute and I want to pick you up and put you in my pocket. And you looked cute that day. You had on those little jean shorts and that yellow tank top that had one strap that kept falling down. Your hair was in a ponytail. And you smelled like coconut.”

She rolls over onto her side to face him. “You remember all that?”

“Why wouldn’t I? Like I said, you looked cute. And you walked in there like you owned the place. All fucking attitude. I liked what I saw. You were different. You didn't take shit and you let me know pretty early that you weren’t going to put up with any from me.”

“I knew it. You’re turned on by assertive women.”

“Well I was turned on by YOU. I don’t know about other assertive women. I so would have fucked you. Right there. Right then.”

“I don’t know whether to be flattered, or....”

“Flattered. Definitely flattered.”

“For the record, I would have let you.”

A broad grin covers his face. “Yeah? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“What was I supposed to say? ‘Hey you, nice hair. Let’s fuck’?”

“That would have worked actually. I would have been like ‘let’s go’.”

“Why didn’t YOU say anything? Esme counters.

“I was trying to be a gentleman.”

“You plied me with alcohol.”

“I asked you if you wanted a drink and you said yes. I gave it to you. I didn’t ply you with it. There’s a difference.”

“Well even without the booze, I would have given in. Just so you know.”

“I used to have a thing about wanting to fuck you on the kitchen table,” Tyler admits. “Just bend you over it and just give it to you.”

“You’re dirty.”

“That’s tame compared to some of the things we’ve done. Most of them, actually.”

“You’re such a bad influence,” she declares, then places a hand on the back of his head and kisses him; mouths moving slowly against each other, naked limbs rubbing and brushing together.  And when he pulls away, he brushes the hair away from her face and presses his lips to her forehead, then the bridge of her nose.

“I’m hungry,” Tyler announces.

Eme sighs. “Me too. What are you going to make me?”

“What do you want?”

She shrugs. “Guess we’ll have to see when we get down there.”

“How come I have to be the one to make it?”

“Your daughter said that you were the good cook, so I’ve given it up and handed you the reins,” she chides. “You wanted to try your hand at the domestic life, well there you go.”

“By domestic life, I meant siting on my ass while you do everything.”

“You wish!” she scoffs, and he pecks his life being throwing back the covers and climbing out of bed. “Baby...” she muses, rolling over onto her stomach and propping herself up on her elbows. “You’re sexy. Can I feel your arms?”

“You can feel whatever you want, whenever you want, however much you want.”

“Wherever and whenever?” she enthuses. “That’s dangerous. What if I start feeling you up at the grocery store or when we pick the kids up at school? Make Millie’s teacher extra jealous.”

“Baby, if you want to fuck me in the parking lot at the grocery store, all you have to do is ask.”

‘Kinky,” she giggles, then frowns when he tosses on his t-shirts at her and lands on top of her head. “Are you really going to Port Douglas tomorrow?” she asks, as she sits up and shrugs into the shirt. “To see your dad?”

Tyler nods.

“And you’re taking Millie?”

“She wanted to see him. And asked if he could come to her birthday party. She even made him a special invitation to give him.”

“You think she’ll be okay? I mean, if he’s having an ‘off day’...”

“If he is, we leave. I wouldn’t take her anywhere I didn’t think she could handle. You know that.”

“And what about you?” She climbs out of bed and stands in front of him, hands on his chest. “Think you can handle it?”

“I did the first time,” he points out.

“Did you?” her fingertips trace the scar on the left side of his chest, where the sniper’s bullet had caught him on the Sultana Kamal Bridge.  

He hadn’t even known what hit him; the shot knocking him off his feet, an immediate burning sensation filling his entire chest and blood rising into his throat. He remembers thinking that he had to get up and get cover; that the sniper would be waiting to take the ‘kill shot’. But his legs wouldn’t work; he was nauseous and dizzy and in excruciating pain and all he could do was drag himself across the asphalt while coughing up blood.

“I think so,” he replies. “I didn’t come home and crack open a bottle and pop some Oxy, so I guess I did okay.”

“I know there’s a lot you’re holding back,” Esme says. “From your childhood. That you’re angry and you’re hurt and even though he’s sick, you want him to pay for what he’s done. And I get it, Tyler. You know I do. And you know I support you one hundred percent.”

“But...”

“I just don’t want Millie hearing all of that. If something happens and you snap on him, I don’t want her being there. Because she’s five and she’s a baby still and she doesn’t need to shoulder adult things. It’s bad enough she asked about the time you nearly died.”

“In all fairness, you brought that up the other night and she’s been holding onto it for days.”

“I know. And I feel like shit for doing it. Sometimes I forget she’s listening and that she’s as smart as she is. She’s insanely smart. It’s almost scary how smart she actually is. Which is why I don’t want her there if things go bad between you and your dad.”

“I promise you, if something goes wrong, we just leave. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. You know that.”

“I do know that,” Esme agrees. “But I also know what you get like when you go off, Tyler. When you can’t control what you say or what you do. And...”

He silences her with a kiss. “I would never...ever...put our daughter in that situation. You know I wouldn’t.”

She smiles, then stands on her tip toes and circles her arms around his neck. “You’re a good man, Tyler Rake. Whether you think so or not.”

“I think you overestimate me way too much.”

“I think you need to keep your mouth shut,” she counters, then squeals when he pinches her ass hard enough to leave a bruise. “I could take you; you know.”

He smirks. “I’d love to see you try.”

“It’s the little ones you have to watch out for.”

“What are going to do? Bite my ankles?”

“You’re such a dick sometimes, you know that?

“I do. But you love me.”

“Yeah....” she smiles, then tightens the hold around his neck. “...I do.”

[caps-lockdown]

Party Crashers (One Shot)

Steve Rogers x Reader where her friends jokingly send him an invite to his fan mail address for her birthday party. And Tony finds it and forces him to attend the birthday party. Reader being 100% oblivious to all of this until he literally walks in the door! 🤣🤣🤣

Here it is as requested by @katurrade my wonderful friend! Ask and you shall receive lovely! Hope you like it!

Party Crashers One Shot

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Fem!Reader

Rating:PG:13 (For jokes, booze, language, the usual) Pretty much all fluff, but there is a slight panic attack (although poorly written I can assure you)

Summary: You reluctantly agree to letting your friends throw you a birthday party, but when they send an invite to your favorite Avenger, how will things pan out?

Words: 5,576

It is AU in the sense that I’m having Tony live through endgame, and obviously Steve didn’t go back in time. Because I can’t move on. I don’t own anything but the reader and her family and friends. And the cat.

(Also the house pictured is NOT MINE. I wish it was, but sadly no. Just used it for imagining the party venue. And the dress isn’t mine either, but I can see myself owning it before the house.)

It’s also in Y/N L/N format. Enjoy!

Party Crashers

Two days before your party

“I’m. Not. Going. Stark. ” Steve Roger’s tone had a sense of finality to it, his body in a tense stance as he crossed his arms over his chest, looking at the patriotic themed party invitation that Tony was holding. A huge grin plastered on the billionaire’s face.

“Yes. You. Are. Rogers.” The man adjusted his glasses as he brought the invitation to his line of sight. Steve had tried to conceal the bright blue and red card when he got it in his fan mail that morning, but of course Stark being the snoop that he naturally was, he found it and brought it to everyone’s attention later in the Tower. “Look it’ll be good to keep in the fan’s good graces. After everything that’s happened recently, we could use the good PR.”

The blonde man sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. Everything that had happened with Thanos was over and done with, but yet the people were still terrified and on edge. Rightfully so too. He didn’t understand how going to some grown woman’s birthday celebration was going to help, especially when he had never met her. So he thought.

“Did you read the note that was attached? It’s quite cute. Ahem.” Steve rolled his eyes as Tony cleared his throat, developing a shrill feminine voice as he read it aloud to the rest of the room. “Dear Captain America. You don’t know us but our friend Y/N has a birthday coming up and we figured since you both share the same birthday it would be awesome if we invited you! We just got her back and wanted to make up for missing her these last five years. You’re her absolute favorite superhero and she’s totally had a crush on you ever since you saved her life during the Battle of New York. Not that she’ll ever tell you that. Anyways you don’t have to RSVP or anything, and you aren’t required to take pictures. Hell you could show up, say hi, and leave with cake for all we care. Hope to see you!

Stacy and Jim Higgins” The rest of the avengers were laughing at the annoyed blonde’s face when Stark finished.

“They even included a photo!” Bucky and Sam were the first to look at the picture the brunette man was holding, Sam letting out a long winded “Daaaaang” upon seeing the woman’s face. Steve had to admit that Y/N was very attractive, immediately noticing her thousand watt smile as she snuggled what he was assuming to be her pet cat.

“Tony I don’t want to do this..” Steve tried to reason with him, losing all hope when his friend typed the number on the invite into his phone, tossing the taller man the device and making a “go on” motion with his hands as it began to ring.

Rogers was beginning to think of all the ways he could get away with killing the asshole philanthropist when he heard a voice call from the other side of the line. “Hello?”

“Yes...uhm uh is this Stacy?”

“Who’s askin?”

“It’s Steve Rogers. I’m…uh.”

“OH MY GOD NO FUCKING WAY! JIM GUESS WHO’S ON THE HORN? CAPTAIN FUCKING AMERICA!!! No…No I’m not kidding you asshole.” Steve couldn’t help but give a nervous chuckle as the female voice proceeded to call the male voice a bunch of inappropriate names. He heard her take a deep breath and continue. “Sorry bout that Mister America Sir. To what do I owe the pleasure of your phone call?” He shook his head, smiling as the woman made an attempt to sound polite.

“I just wanted to RSVP for Y/N’s birthday party. Fourth of July right?”

“Yea! Five o’clock at the address on the invite! You can show up whenever though, oh man Y/N is going to FREAK OUT! Thank you so so much for doing this! I know you must be really busy. Dealing with everything going on around here.”

“It’s no problem at all…” Tony smacked the man’s arm as he grimaced, biting back a few choice words for his teammate. “I’m looking forward to it.” His comment sounded forced and fake but the woman only giggled, buying his terrible performance.

“Great! I won’t tell her you’re coming, but we can’t wait to see you! Have a good night!”

“Of course, you too.” Steve’s face was void of all emotion as he threw the phone at Tony head on, clearly trying to wipe the satisfied expression off his face.

“There that wasn’t so hard was it Rogers?”

“Go to hell Stark.” The blonde man muttered, the other raising a hand to his chest, feigning hurt feelings.

“Language Cap. You kiss your mother with that mouth? It’s not like I’m going to make you go alone. I want to see this train wreck first hand.” Mentally exhausted from today’s turn of events Steve didn’t even bother with a retort, walking out of the room to head to his bedroom. He was too old for this crap.

Day of Your Party

Lake George, New York

“No, No, I specifically told you Patty NO FIREWORKS! Y/N gets all jumpy and she’s bringing Tigger too…yes, her cat. YOU ARE NOT MESSING THIS UP FOR US PATRICIA! I WILL END YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY TREE WITH A TABLESPOON OF GASOLINE AND A MATCH! Do NOT try me today! Tell your mom I said hello. See you soon!”

Stacy ended the phone call with a huff, her eyes sweeping the large group of people that were attempting to set up last minute decorations for your birthday. Of course they would have it out at their astonishing lake side house in upper New York, away from the city and away from the seas of family reunions at Central Park. Considering the holiday, Stacy was hell bent on making sure no explosions of any kind would be happening today. She wanted everything to be perfect for you, and she wasn’t above murdering your cousin to obtain that goal. She didn’t care if she was only eleven years old.  

“You threatening children again honey?” Jim quirked an thick eyebrow at his wife, watching the woman deflate just an inch before she ran off to scream at someone for hanging the wrong colored lantern above one of the large tables. He was fairly certain his wife was going to have a stroke when all of this was over. He could hope anyway. She had been a nightmare planning this whole affair for you, and that was only because you had eventually given in to her demands. It was like negotiating with the government. And he had willing married her.

He laughed as she opted to forcefully take the lantern from his brother Tyler, dragging the chair to another table and hanging it up in its rightful spot. All it took though was one saucy wink in his direction and he could feel his body relax. She was going to be the death of him.

~~A short while later~~

“I hope there isn’t too many people Mel, you know I hate feeling crowded.” You pulled into the long driveway of your best friend’s home. Mel, your sister sat strangely quiet in the passenger seat, lovingly petting a sleeping Tigger in her lap. Before Thanos she was merely a teen, now a high school graduate and looking into medical school. Tigger was barely a year old and just starting to be harness trained, the orange tabby loving the outside and you didn’t have the heart to keep him inside all the time. Now older, he still loved being outside but had gotten pudgy in your years away. You had missed out on so much, but Mel was never this quiet before. In fact, she had pretty much been silent the entire four hour drive to Lake George, only saying a few words here and there as you rambled on. “Why are you being so damn quiet? It’s creeping me out.”

Your sister only smiled at you, her eyes misted over just a bit as she shook her head. “I’ve just missed hearing you talk sis. Five years…” A small sob escaped her when you threw your car into park, reaching over to pull her into a hug.

“Hey now, it was five years for me too alright? We’re together again yeah?” Brushing the tear off her cheek you held back your own when Tigger let out a cranky mewl. That was one thing you would never get tired of. A joyful laugh left your mouth as you began to break away from the embrace, looking into your sister’s brown eyes. “Alright get out of here before you make me ruin my makeup. And just so we’re clear I expect a full blown alien conspiracy lecture tomorrow on the way home.” You jokingly scolded, watching her light up before taking the cat and dashing out of the car. Well at least she had stayed the ball of energy you had remembered.

Stepping out of your vehicle before locking the doors, you couldn’t help but let out a gasp at the house in front of you.

“I see you guys finished the remodel!” You called out when you entered the foyer.

“Y/N! You look amazing!!” Stacy yelled, coming to give you the biggest hug as if you hadn’t been back for months now and she hadn’t just seen you a couple days ago. “Where did you get that banging dress? Did they have one in purple?!”

You lightly shoved your friend, looking down at your outfit for the day.

“HEY EVERYONE, Y/N’S HERE!” A large amount of screams were heard throughout the house and soon you were being flogged by tons of family and friends. Most of them you had seen since you got back, but all of them at once was kind of suffocating. You tried to hide your nerves as you greeted the seemingly endless crowd of smiling, teary faces.

“Happy birthday Y/N!”

“You look great!”

“You got a boyfriend yet?”

“How’s work?” Holding your temple, you started to struggle to breathe, overwhelmed by all of the questions and closeness. A knock at the door seemed to stop everyone in their tracks, and you smiled gratefully as Stacy swooped in to shoo them all away.

“Let our girl breathe a little! Fuck! Buncha vultures.” Your brunette friend whispered the last part, you giggling as she led you away from the prying eyes and invasive questions. It had been nearly a year since you had come back, it wasn’t as if it was just yesterday or anything. Taking a seat on the back porch, you gladly took the mojito Jim handed to you while Stacy went to get the door, opening it widely and immediately looking confused.

“You…you aren’t Captain America.” She managed to get out as Tony Stark took off his sunglasses, reaching to take her hand and giving her a grand smile.

“Well spotted. I’m not. Tony Stark. I however, was under the assumption he was already here. “

“He’s not with you?” Your friend asked as he went to dart his eyes to his phone, a frown on his features as he went to call the avenger in question, holding a finger up to Stacy.

“He didn’t want to carpool and save the environment. He insisted he took his bike. Maybe he took a wrong turn at Albuquerque. Excuse me.” That was a blatant lie, as Tony had told Steve specifically to take his bike and offer Y/N a ride as an attempt to break the ice. Perhaps the good captain was in fact lost. He listened as the phone rang, clucking his tongue in disapproval as it went to voicemail.

“Sorry Stac, looks like you just have me for right now. I’m more than positive he’ll be here soon. I know he wouldn’t miss something like this. He loves birthday cake, as do I. But you know war heroes, always fashionably late. Shall we?” Your friend could only nod slowly, the information sinking in and Stark taking his cue to head into the large home. “Your home is stunning.”

“Thanks. Y/N should be out back.” Stacy waved him on and Tony took his time enjoying the lovely large windows and high ceilings. He also took the time to send a very strongly worded text message to Steve about punctuality, and the fact he should have beaten Stark here considering Rogers had left nearly two hours before he had.

It didn’t take him long to find you, halfway through your glass and staring out onto the massive backyard. People were playing volley ball, four or five men were manning the grill, women laughing in groups as they caught up. Even surrounded by everyone you still felt a little isolated. Not a soul paying attention to you. Noticing you were almost out of alcohol he backtracked into the house, grabbing a couple fresh minty drinks and heading back out.

“Y/N I presume?” Tony’s voice shook you out of your daydreaming, you jumping at recognizing his face. Iron Man Tony-fucking-Stark was standing just to your right, and you placed a hand over your chest in a poor attempt to steady your heart beat.

“Uhmnh…Yea….Yea that’s me.” You choked out, taking the billionaire’s drink offering and setting it down before coming back up to grasp his hand and giving it a firm shake. “I’m Y/N.”

“You sure?” His jab made you blush, you finishing your first drink before moving your steel straw into the next one. The brunette man smiled, sipping on his own drink and nodding at it in approval.

“What…what are you doing here?” Your question was blurted out at a rapid speed, the skin on your neck tingling again as Tony looked down to meet your eyes. You could tell that he had been waiting on you to ask, as it wasn’t everyday random world saving superheroes showed up to a woman’s birthday party.

“We got an invite from Stacy and her husband, but superhero business would have it that only I could make it tonight. I’m sorry if you were expecting someone taller. With blonde hair and devastating blue eyes.” You sputtered into your glass, giving Tony an incredulous look while he laughed at you. What had your friends mentioned in that invitation?

“No um, this is really wonderful. Thank..thank you for coming.” You nearly squeaked, trying to guzzle down the rest of your drink and standing from your chair. Jim signaled it was time to eat, Stacy starting to hand people red, white, and blue plates and napkins while the masses began to form a line for food. “I guess that’s our cue. Everyone will be really excited to meet you. And in case I don’t get the chance, thank you. Ya know, for saving the world.”

“All in a day’s work Y/N. Let’s get some grub, I’m starving.” You laughed as Tony extended his arm, helping you down the stairs into the party space, people offering him thanks and asking for pictures once they caught on to who he was. “No no, I’m just here for the free food and Y/N’s birthday cake. But maybe we’ll take a few photos after yeah?”

The two of you took a seat at the large long picnic table after piling your plates with ribs, potato salad, corn on the cob, and other fourth of July staples. Tony kept everyone laughing, telling stories to you and the twenty four other people that were there to celebrate. You secretly wished that you could be this outgoing, most of the time shying away from social interaction and people altogether. It would certainly help you and your lackluster personal life.

After everyone was on the brink of a food coma, Tony suggested the game of charades to help burn off some of the food to make room for cake. With it being after seven, some of the guests opted to leave for the evening, wishing you well and stealing a couple of photos with Tony before exiting. None of them seemed to notice the motorcycle parked alongside the driveway.

Steve’s eyes watched with amusement as you attempted to use your cat to imitate a machine gun, shouting Scarface quotes and Tony being the first to answer correctly. His breath was taken away by how beautiful you were in person, the picture being five years older after all. He loved the way your eyes crinkled when you laughed, and how your smiles always looked warm and inviting, even when you were clearly not doing the best at charades. Steeling his nerve he climbed off his bike, wiping his suddenly sweaty palms onto his pants and heading up to the front door of the large home. He took in a deep breath and knocked, staring into the rich oak and waiting.

“I’ll get it!” You shouted, hopping off the couch and dodging popcorn Mel was throwing at you along the way. You stuck your tongue out playfully, turning to open the door and finding yourself face to face with freedom in the flesh.

“Happy birthday Y/N.” His stunning blue eyes and even more attractive smile was too much for you and the room began to spin. “I’m Steve.”

You took his hand, suddenly feeling really light headed. His expression changed to one of concern as you took a few fumbling steps back, his strong arm instinctively reaching out to grip your waist and steady you.

“Hey you’re alright. I’ve got you.” His words had your brain going into overdrive, your mind flooding with the memory of the only other time you had heard him say that.

~May 4th, 2012~

“Why the hell should I take orders from you?!”

You heard the cop ask the man in the blue suit, you hiding behind a nearby car as you watched him interact with the officer, chaos erupting throughout the city. The entire office you worked in had evacuated in a panic, but you were one of the last ones to leave, narrowly escaping death a few times over just getting out of the building. Your eyes were glued to the man, never seeing him before in your life. He was extremely handsome from what you could tell, and clearly he wasn’t taking no for an answer. You watched as he proceeded to defeat a few of the strange creatures easily, and you couldn’t help but let out a raspy laugh as the officer quickly changed his tune.

“I need men in those buildings. Lead the people down and away from the streets. We’re gonna set up a perimeter all the way down to 39th street.” He had said the last bit into his radio, walking away and you gladly decided it was time to get your ass out of there. Standing up and headed towards the street you began running towards the nearest subway entrance. Your heart was hammering in your throat and you were sure you would have to throw out your heels and now ripped to hell dress when this was over. Turning a corner you let out a blood curdling scream as a truck came barreling through the air, you being directly in its way.

You shut your eyes and awaited death, but it never came. Instead you were grabbed roughly and tucked in between a set of buildings, a shriek leaving your lungs as you watched the truck go flying by. Your hands shot to cover your face as your panicked sobs came out before you could stop them, realizing you were alive.

“Hey you’re alright, I’ve got you.” Your hands were brought down from your face and you looked up to see the hero in blue staring intently at you, brushing some of your now loosened hair away from your face. You were certain your makeup was smeared along with dirt and dust from all of the debris floating around the city, but he only continued staring into your eyes.

“Boy do you ever.” Was all you could get out, a small smile lighting up the mystery man’s features as he grabbed your hand, looking into the street before nodding to you.

“Good. Now let’s get you to safety Doll.” You swooned and fought to keep up with the man as he started jogging back into the street, careful to help you dodge and duck the ugly looking creatures along the way. Stopping at the subway entrance he gave you a once over, making sure you weren’t bleeding as you fought a heart attack from all the cardio today had put you through. His hands on your shoulders weren’t helping things.

“You get down there and you stay safe alright miss?” You could only nod like an moron again, watching him turn to walk away.

“Hey wait!” He turned around at your newly found voice, you pointing to an alley that wasn’t under attack. “You’ll get to where you’re going faster if you take that way. It’ll lead you back to where you saved me.”

He cracked a smile, appreciating your kindness as he took off. You got all the way down the stairs before realizing you never got to thank him. Or learn his stupid name.

~Now~

“Boy do you ever.” Your words came out in a whisper, his gaze turning to one of calculation as you smiled. There was no way he could have remembered saving you. He has saved thousands, millions of people in the past, and you weren’t that memorable.

“You…you were the woman I saved from the flying truck..weren’t you?” His voice was soft as he whispered back. You nodded with wide eyes, taking note how his arm hadn’t detached itself from your waist yet. Not that you minded.

“You remember me?” You stuttered out, trying to keep your shocked nerves at bay.

“Doll I couldn’t forget you even if I tried. Those directions saved my skin that day. I’m glad to see you survived.”

“Because of you! I didn’t even know trucks could fly.” Your comment made him laugh out loud, his arm leaving your waist only to cover his stomach as he filled the house up with joy. Everyone else laughed nervously, clearly not having heard the conversation between you two and therefore not having the slightest idea what was so funny.

“I see you cut your hair, your picture doesn’t do you justice you know.”His normal voice and remark set your face on fire, you whipping your head to look at your best friend, who only sheepishly shrugged and avoided making eye contact with you. “But I like it. Suits you.” Receiving another compliment from the blonde had you grinning like a goofball.

“Thank you….and uh thanks, for saving my life all of those years ago. I never got the chance to do it back then.” You rambled, before widening your eyes again and taking a breath. “And thanks for helping bring back everyone from the decimation too! I mean I was part of that and I know everyone is really grateful and all.” Finishing your long winded spiel you began studying the designs in the hard cherry wood floor, embarrassed at how the Captain only continued to chuckle at you.

“You’re welcome…and you’re welcome.” He beamed at you, Tony loudly coughing to bring the two of you out of whatever bubble you seemed to be in together.

“This is ADORABLE to watch. Seriously. But uh, I was promised cake and I’m not leaving until I get some.” Stark whined, your friends all agreeing before wandering into the kitchen, you motioning for Steve to follow. Stacy smiled warmly at you as she took the glad cake topper off, your mouth watering at the beautiful cake she had made. It was three layers, all different swirls of red white and blue adorning it along with simple gold stars.

“Oh Stac…it’s perfect. Thank you.”

“Hey that means we can sing happy birthday to both of you!” Jim clapped Steve on the back, shaking his hand as he went to light the one huge candle that sat on top of the cake.

“As long as you don’t sing Jim I think our ears will be okay.” Mel quipped, everyone laughing as they began singing to the two of you. Your eyes welled up with tears, looking at all of the faces of people you honestly weren’t sure you’d ever see again. And two of the people that helped make that happen were here as well. How about that. Once everyone had a piece of cake you all took to sitting outside on the back porch again, watching the summer sun begin to set off in the distance. It reflected off the lake beautifully, the reds and oranges in the sky extending over the water.

“I’ve missed how peaceful it is out here Stacy. You and Jim have an absolute paradise out here.” Your friends nodded, both too busy with cake to really take in the splendor.

“I think this cake is paradise.” Tony muffled out, mouth full of the sugary treat, Steve’s shaking of his head had you and Mel giggling into your forks. “You have to get me the recipe so my wife can make it. Or we can just pay you to make it.”

“Anything for one of the guys who saved the world. I’ll write it down for ya.” Stacy’s smirk made you chuckle, her fingers snaking out to take your clean plate from you. Walking back into the kitchen, the now very happy Stark following her, Mel sighed as she looked at her watch.

“It’s not even ten yet! What are we going to do!?” Her complaint reminded you how much younger she actually was, you perfectly fine with calling it a night. Your ears perked up at the sound of soft jazz music beginning to pour out of the speakers located on the corner of the deck, Jim turning on the assortment of lanterns. The whole back yard was aglow with twinkling lights and you started to subconsciously sway to the beat. Steve’s jaw working as he began to walk over to you, shrugging out of the brown leather jacket he had been wearing and setting on a chair.

“Well I know what Y/N and I are going to do.” Steve stuck his hand out to you, you smiling timidly before reaching yours to grasp his. “Care to dance, Doll?”

“Well I’m not going to say no.” He laughed at that, bringing you over to the side of the deck that was serving as a makeshift dance floor, Jim and Stacy following your lead when she returned from the kitchen. You got a chance to take in his outfit, nice gray slacks and a simple blue button up shirt rolled up at the elbows. It wasn’t much but he didn’t need much when he looked like he had been carved out of marble by Michelangelo himself.

“I have to admit, I don’t have that much practice with dancing.” The blonde admitted, your heart fluttering as a flush crept over his face. You squeezed his hand reassuringly as he dropped his other one to sit on high on your waist.

“Is the great Captain America flustered right now?” You giggled, allowing him to spin you around. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. But for the record…” You gingerly took his hand at your waist, lowering it a little to where it sat just above your hip. “Your hand will be a lot more comfortable here. And you should relax some. I don’t bite.”

He swallowed thickly and nodded, you both swaying to the music in a comfortable silence as it played on, Jim making sure the songs stayed slow so you wouldn’t part ways so quickly. Eventually you began making small talk, asking him about his life and interests, Steve obviously very interested in what you had been up to since Thanos’ defeat. You found him extremely easy to talk to, your jokes making him laugh, his eyes crinkling with joy as the time passed.

“So we might as well start making wedding invitations now.” Mel uttered to Tony when he curiously eyed the Captain, your sister and Stark looking to each other before chuckling. “She’s not going to let him go now that they’ve met officially.”

“That’s funny, because I was thinking the same thing. About him. Maybe he’ll find that life I told him to get.” Mel laughed at the brunette, both of them nodding to the other couple to vacate the dance floor. Stacy couldn’t help the sly smile as you and Steve continued to talk, so enamored in each other you didn’t notice everyone else leaving the back yard to give you some privacy. Ten minutes later the next song came to a close, Steve attempting to lower you into a small dip that made your knees weak in more ways than one.

“Thanks for the dance Y/N.”

“Dances Mister Rogers, and back at you. They were lovely. Now where did everyone…. “ You began to look around, a slight familiar panic setting in as your eyes searched for your friends and the billionaire. You sighed in exasperation as you watched them scatter. Failing miserably at making themselves look busy and like they hadn’t been watching you two. “Go.”

“I’m sure they mean well.” Steve’s eyes sparkled as you rolled your own.

“Sure yea. They’re probably in there planning our first date.”

“Our first date?” You went to cover your face with your hands, a high pitch squeak coming out when you came to terms with the fact you had said that out loud.

“OhmygodI’msososorry” You rushed out, continuing to hide your face as you were certain you were the brightest shade of red in the rainbow.

“Y/N it’s alright…”

“No it’s not. You’re out there saving the world, and I’m sure that coming to this dumb party my exhausting friends probably blackmailed you into was the last thing on your to do list. And then I have to go and ruin a perfectly nice moment by opening my big mouth and asking you out when knowing my luck you’re already dating some stunning Amazonian woman who can cook and makes you stupid happy!” Anger boiled in your veins as the blonde could only stare at you, partially concerned you might combust, and partially endeared that you clearly had a big crush on him.

“For the record, Tony made me come tonight. But you’re the sole reason I’ve stayed.” Steve took your clenched hand, giving it a soft squeeze and the noise that died in the back of your throat couldn’t have been remotely human. “And secondly, I’m single, and extremely flattered. But I’m afraid there’s a small problem.”

“You’re afraid I’m crazy and will probably burn down your house if you ignore me for too long?” He blinked at you, taking a moment to let that sentence sink in before shaking his head.

“No, I don’t know if you’re a cup of coffee or dinner and a movie kind of girl. “ His grin had you seeing fireworks and holy star spangled banner Steve Rogers was asking you out! Quickly jolting out of your over-excitement you managed a coy giggle, you removing your hand from his before placing it on his right cheek. Bringing yourself up to your tiptoes you allowed your lips to lightly kiss his left cheek, feeling the warmth radiate through his skin upon contact.

“Well in your case Steve, I’m both. Dinner tomorrow night when I get back into town?”

His eyes didn’t leave yours, you sliding your hand away only to have him take it again. Your heart raced as he placed a chaste kiss on your knuckle, grinning at you like a love struck puppy.

“I’ll pick you up on the bike at seven o clock. Hope you like Italian.”

“I do.” You nodded, you immediately missing his hand when he let it go.

“Great, then it’s a date.”

“So it is.” You bit back a girlish scream internally as he began to walk away, before turning around and bashfully asking for your phone number. You typed it into his phone, laughing the entire time. Everyone gathered outside for a quick photo with the two Avengers, Steve staying right next to you, a hand on your waist and the two of you looking nothing short of smitten with each other. You gave both of them a quick hug goodbye, Tony’s being longer because he complained about you not dancing with him at all and he deserved better treatment because he was there first.

“Goodnight Y/N. Happy Birthday.” You smiled at the blonde, giggling as Tony had to physically grab the back of Steve’s jacket to pull him out of the doorway.

“Happy birthday Steve. See you tomorrow.” You waved them on, leaning against the frame as the two men became shapes in the dark. It wasn’t long after you heard the rumble of a motorcycle and a car start up, headlights pulling down the road as they drove off.

“I’m sorry they had to go.” Mel patted your shoulder as you shut the door, locking the bolt and turning off the porch light. You smiled at your sister saucily, throwing her a wink after she shut the blinds behind the couch.

“Me too, but god did I love watching him leave.”

Her response was a pillow. To your face.

The End 

Tag List: @kaytizzle @giggleberts @cuffski

[constantlyunlightening]

Prove It (Part 2)

Fandom: BNHA

Pairing: Prohero!Bakugo Katsuki x F!reader

Genre: smut

Rated Explicit for: reader being bent over a desk, mostly

18 years of age or older! If you're under, do not read or interact.

Bakugo was a hero now. And while that’s what he had always wanted to be, he still wasn’t number one yet. So even though every day he worked with that goal in mind, he tended to get stressed about his short comings - a lot. He already had quite a temper in general, but knowing their was a hero above him had his own emotions overclocked when he had to think about it too much. And lo and behold, this chick just loved rubbing it in his face.

This wasn’t the first time she had decided to bring up Deku, and it probably wouldn’t be the last either. She just had such a way of pressing all the wrong buttons with him. Every time she did, he would day dream about ways to get her to shut the hell up. Namely, they were usually violent thoughts that he’d never dare act out. He could get pissy, sure, but at the end of the day she was a less shitty partner than most of the other heros here and he valued her as such. He didnt actually want any harm to come to her. But nonetheless, the thoughts of blasting that smug smirk off her face had wandered across his mind more than once.

But there were some days - some days - where he was in a different headspace. Some days, instead of blasting that smile off her lips, he imagined using another technique to shut her up. It was a more primal state of mind. It was a headspace he didnt want to ever admit to thinking about. But some days he thought about shoving her down onto her knees and putting those lips to a better use than talking shit. He wanted her mouth wide, while his cock stretched her cheek or rammed down her throat. Any attempt she that she would even try to make some smart ass remark would be nothing more than a muffled gag or a moan moan vibrating against his skin. She wouldnt dare look so smug choking on him like that….

It was days when he had thoughts like that, that he really wanted to keep away from her. He never actually planned on acting on it. No matter how attractive she was, he usually dismissed the idea. He was too focused on work anyway.

So in reality, Bakugo hadn’t been planning on getting his dick wet today - especially not in their pro hero office and not with his spit fire of a coworker. But hey, now that the opportunity was here, he wasn’t exactly complaining. Today she had pushed just a little too hard and he just had to act out. Initially, he was bluffing, pulling at his belt for show. He hadn’t been in a depraved headset when he had pinned her. But then she called his bluff, and that glimmer in her eyes as she challenged him again had flicked a switch within him. She was giving him the chance to stop her yammering. And while he may not have her gagging on him today, he could get her screaming until her throat was hoarse which would be just as effective in making her loose the attitude. Plus, he was due for some type of stress relief and physical worked for him.

His own pupils, now blown with a heated desire, locked on his partner’s glazed expression. Having his fingers toy with her mouth earlier had already caused a small string of saliva to run down her chin and he couldn’t help the smirk starting to flicker onto his lips. He had just started to touch her and she already looked all sorts of fucked up. Served her right for saying that blockhead Deku was a better fuck. What the hell did she know anyway? He was going to fuck that thought, along with every other thought, right out of that pretty little head of hers. And considering the way she was already squirming against his fingers made it clear itd be an easy win for him… She could have at least tried to give him a challenge.

He let his fingers toy with her, flicking against her clit briefly before sliding back down between her folds. It was a moment of reprieve before he’d move right back up to that sweet spot with just a bit more pressure. Work her up nice and slow so she’d be absolutely dripping. The wetter he got her, the easier it would be wreck her. His earlier frustrations with her were now starting to melt away the more he watched her body quiver underneath his touch. He wouldn’t admit it, but that face she was making worked for him. It was the best damn face she had made all day and the mental picture of it was most likely going to linger in his mind for days to come.

A longing ache began to swell underneath his pants as he watched her attitude dissolve right before his eyes. While their was still some fire flaring in her own glassy gaze, it was hard to take it seriously between the quake of her legs and the soft coos starting to fall from her. “I like those noises a lot better than you getting all smart mouthed with me,” Katsuki began, once again dragging his finger off her clit. This time he dropped down to hover over her entrance and inwardly had to bite back his grown. She was already this worked up? She was fucking leaking. He had to take a slight step back to get a better view of the wet that collected on his fingers and way it had started to slip down her thighs. “You really are a perv, huh?” He may have sounded angry if he had said it earlier, but right now he couldnt help being fascinated with his discovery. His fingers easily slipped back up her slit, gliding much better now with her natural lubricant and he continued to exam her pretty little cunt.

He caught the way her breath hitched, but he didnt have time to admire the sound when that nasty little attitude of hers kicked back enough to fire out a retort. “Then shut up and do something about it if you actually know how.” Her bark was pathetic with her words spaced out by huffy little pants, but the indignation at being teased was enough to rekindle her fighting spirit as she managed to make a halfway decent glare at him.

She could fight back all she wanted now though. Katsuki had a very, very tangible proof of just how he was affecting her. And while her words did manage to irk him a smidge, they didnt hold even half as much power over his emotions as they had earlier. He wasn’t letting his upper hand slip. Not a fucking chance.

It was only a second more of letting his hand linger on her body before he pulled it completely away from her, his only touch to her now was the firm grip around her wrists to anchor her in place. “You’re not the one who gets to make commands here,” He growlee, taking a sinful pride in the drawn out whimper that he had dug out from her. No way for her to be so high and mighty now, was there? “So wanna say that again, brat?”

“I said-” she cleared her throat a little, forcing her gaze to steel against his as she tried to collect herself despite the heavy pants dancing between her words. “Shut up and do something about it.”

A brat the whole way through, huh? He felt heat beginning to rush to his palm at the stroke of annoyance she sent through him but he held it together, stepping closer to her, hovering over her further still. Intimidation usually didnt work on her, but he supposed it was worth a shot anyway now that she was naked and wet like a bitch in heat. “Well, there goes any chance you had at me being nice to you.”

She scoffed. Immediately. “You’ve never been nice to me-” her voice cut off as he pulled back and yanked her off the wall by the grip on her wrists. She couldnt even think about resisting as he almost instantly pushed her against the edge of a nearby desk with her back to him. He repositioned her hands so they were now folded behind her back and he used his other hand to press against her shoulder to force her chest against surface. It left her bent over the desk with her butt now pressed against Katsuki as he leaned over her, keeping her in place. Another moan escaped her feeling his bulge now pressed tight against her. She had tried to hide it, but he had heard and he was all sorts of satisfied.

“I may be proving my point for you, but if you’re dead wrong if you think I’m gonna let you talk to me like that.” He straightened back up but kept his hold on her forearms so she was rendered trapped. He took in the sight, soaking in the way she was now bent over for him- exposed and at his total exposal. He could dive into her right now and absolutely destroy her - ruin that sweet pussy until she couldnt even dare think about anyone else inside of her. The way her hips were slowly trying to rut back against him made it clear she wanted it just as bad too. But that would be letting her off easy. And there was no way in hell he was allowing that. “Better start apologizing if you want it.”

“What?!” Her neck craned, trying to get a look at him over her shoulder as she huffed her cheeks. Was she pouting now? It almost would have been cute if she didnt get under his skin so much… But it did give him an opening to mess with her some more. “You’re joking!”

He responded with a smack of his hand falling onto that plush ass of hers, causing a yell to escape her lips. Huh. Now that sound he would describe as cute. He wasnt doing enough to actually damage her. But a little bit of rough housing may get her to comply. Besides, the idea of leaving at least a mark or two on her was more appealing than he initially realized. She was a hero. She could handle a bruise or so. And the way her eyes seemed to roll back into her head may him pretty sure she liked it anyway. “Do I really sound like I’m joking, dumbass?”

Her hips jolted back, trying to egg on some kind of response, seeing as she couldnt break his restraint. “Jerk! You sure you’re not just trying to stall? Worried you wont measure up?”

Another smack, just a tad harder this time, causing a bloom of red to appear on her flesh. She was asking for it now. It was like she wanted him to be mean. He was better at that anyway. “As if.” His voice was uncharacteristically calm compared to the blow he had given to her backside. He was going to let her know damn well he was serious. He’d give her what she wanted and blow her expectations out of the water but it would be on his terms. “But if I need teach you some manners first, then I got all damn night. How long are you going to hold out?”

He baited her, letting his clothed hips roll into her, rocking her further into the desk and drawing out another round of sounds. She was all bark, but her body was betraying her. She knew it too. Her pride had her biting her bottom lip, trying to conceal her noise. Still trying to call the shots. Katsuki was good at bringing the heat though.

He brought his hips back from her, and then used his free hand to quickly yank his pants open, the metallic sound of undone belt and zipper rattling in the air around them. He pulled the fabric down just enough to get himself free and he instantly pushed himself between her thighs, slipping against her slit. “Bakugoooo.” It was a whine from her, needy, helpless and betraying of her desires. He was hoping she’d be easy to crack because if he waited too much longer, he was worried he’d end up exploding first. Fuck, her body was so warm.

His hips bucked slowly, riding his twitching length against her folds as he withheld his own noises. “Come on, say it if you want it.” He gave another sharp smack to her ass, using the sound to hide the small groan he released. He didn’t want to hold back any longer, but he refused to let her have her way, especially when she was already so close to breaking. Her dripping cunt was leaking onto him which every deliberate thrust, letting him glide right against her. He hunched back over her, pressing his chest down onto her as much as he could without breaking his hold on her arms. “I better hear a please, too.” She whined, once again jerking her hips back against him; trying to provoke him, get him inside, get him to speed up, anything. “Whimpering doesnt count.”

His pace was torturous for the both of them. It was a battle to see who could break their composure first and he was about to go fucking berserk. But finally, finally, she lost it. It wasnt until he had pulled back and dragged his tip to the entrance of her sopping cunt that he finally heard her gasping breath as he slowly prodded against the heat. “Fine! God, I’m sorry, Bakugo, just please,” she got out as he had to yank up against her arms to keep her from rocking back and fully sheathing him inside.

He had been about to break himself, but hearing her cave in with breathy whines gave him just enough willpower to drag out his victory briefly. His hand snaked up, curling into her hair at the base of her neck and yanking, dragging her head up so his lips were at her ear. “Can’t. Hear. You.”

If she had been in a better state herself, she may have realized he wouldnt have been able to hold up much longer himself. But she either didnt notice, or was too lusty to care about pride anymore and she finally let out a shout that was absolute fucking music to his ears. “Katsuki, please fuck me!”

Hot pleasure shot through them all at once when he finally pistoned his hips inside her, all at once. He didn’t bother with an adjustment period, instead settling on a fast and hard rhythm that had the desk rocking beneath them. She was going to have bruises on her thighs tomorrow along with the one on her ass due to the way he was ramming inside of her. But fuck, he couldn’t control himself. She tight hole seemed to be squeezing the very life out of him as it clenched around him. He gave into the ecstacy of it all, giving into the primal part of his mind as he fucked her - heated cries filling the air between wet sounds, skin slapping against skin and the creaks of the desk.

He had released his grip on her hair and her hands, finally giving her an inkling of freedom. She was too lost in his thrusts to put up a fight anyway. Instead, he opted to clamp onto her waist while his other snaked between her hips and the desk to find it’s place against her folds. He’d take slamming it into the desk if it meant being able to hear more of her sweet screams as his fingers found and abused her sweet, little clit. Her body was heaven and he was loosing himself in it - his pace starting to become sloppier and erratic. His hips would pull almost completely away from her before snapping right back into her, chasing his own orgasm as well as hers.

“Katsuki!” Her cries rang out into the air as she finally tipped over the edge, grasping out onto the edges of the desk so hard that her knuckles were whitening. Her body clamped down onto him like a vice grip as waves of sweet, sweet release rushed over and he continued his assault into her cunt through the whole thing. It wasnt until her body seemed to be done spasming that his own breaking point hit and he yanked himself out of her, opting to release himself over the canvas of her back. Markings happened to look damn good on her.

He gave a feral groan, eventually having released all of his seed and he pulled away from her completely, opting to yank the closest office chair over to him before plopping down into it, taking the time to idly admire the handiwork he had left on the girl. She was positively quaking, breaths labored, eyes closed as she tried to regain herself with her whole upper body practically melting onto the desk to keep her supported.

He’d never, ever say it out loud, but she was a sight for sore eyes. Especially like this. Especially knowing he was the one who had done this too her. And damn, did he feel good.

He wasnt sure how much time had passed them in the quiet office when his partner finally found it in herself to push herself off the desk, dark eyelashes fluttering as she opened her eyes. She pushed off the desk with shakey legs, making a small moan of discomfort as she accessed their surroundings a little. “I…. I should find my clothes.”

Interesting first thoughts afterwords, but Katsuki supposed she was more embarassed than anything. Maybe their session had snapped her back into her senses. Hah, he really had fucked the attitude right out of her. However, he still hadn’t gotten her to officially take her words back yet. His eyes quick made a scan to the clock. It was starting to hit early morning hours, but they still had plenty of time before the office was opened.

She made a move to get past him, but she didnt get far enough before he reached forward, grabbing her by the waist and yanking her onto him, positioning her to straddle his waist as she had to grab onto his shoulders instinctively for balance. “B-bakugo?” She began, eyes widening before she cut off in a gasp as he easily lined her body back up against his, pushing his hardening cock into her body once more.

“Proving I’m the best means proving I got better stamina too,” he declared, his crimson eyes gleaming as he dropped her hips all the way down onto him, a devilish smirk forming on his lips. “We’re just getting started.”

[sleepyxdarling]

Yoooo what the fuck!!! That wow don’t know what to say I’m horrified and intrigued to see all the other dudes backstories. After that I think I need fluff so can I get how the boys would court there darling. ❤️

I am for the fluff!

Yoshi

prince of tsundere is awful at compliments face to face so expect lots and lots of love letters

like lots of love letters! All the love letters

also flowers

And sour candy..oop

If you dont like sour candy then oops but he will probably still send them cause he bought bags of it and needs to get rid of them somehow

After endless amounts of letters and gifts he writes you a letter to ask you on a date

Mind you he never told you who he was or what he looks like

You could say no

Let's pretend you say yes for your sake

Date at a local fair

When he shows up he looks so adorable and handsome..but that mouth though

"hah? You look.."

He wants to say amazing and hot but...

"you look weird..oi it's chilly wear my coat"

It's not chilly at all but if you refuse

"you have sweat all over your back and it's gross! People are staring! You want to look weird just wear it!"

Total lie but you believe it

The date is just two talking but if Yoshi knows one thing..he spoils you

If you even glance at a booth

"you want it? Idiot..come on"

If it's a prize booth he is winning the biggest one.

If it's good he is getting it

Expect to hear him bitch bout it afterwards

"wasting all my money..god you are so needy"

When it starts to get darker you two sit at a bench eating a snack

Yoshi will kiss your cheek while you are eating

If you say something bout it

"shut up! Damn so annoying.."

Boy is really happy and will ask you for another date

Shun

However you guys meet doesn't matter..expect him to beg for a date

You will probably say no but that's okay

He will smother you with so many gifts that it's a little much

Haha so many flowers!

Like did he buy an entire store?!

So many expensive chocolate!

The biggest stuffed animals!

After so much begging you say yes

He buys out an entire theme park for a few hours

Just you two!

He drags you everywhere

"hey! Let's try this!"

"that looks yummy! [Name]! Let's share it haha!"

He is pretty exhausting to deal with

He is like a little kid

He will win so many prizes for you that you can't carry them so he has to put them in the car

You guys rode every single ride like twice

You guys are every single food there was to eat

At the end you both ride the ferris wheel and shun is cuddled into you half asleep from sugar crash.

Boy is clinging for dear life

"[name]...please.. don't let it end yet"

His cuteness almost murdered you.

At the end of the ride he is all drowsyand sleepy

"let's.. exchange numbers..okay?"

Ryuji

He is more of a nerdy crafty one

He made a rose bouquet out of book pages

Arts and craft for days

Be ready for ultimate romance

Will paint for you

All of them will be painting of you

When it comes to asking you out he will get his students to help

He will have them make paper hearts

Cue him asking you out by tossing them in the air

"love is in the air! Hahaha..haha...ha..please go on a date with me"

Cue a crafty date

Strap in cause you both are taking painting classes

Lots of dad jokes

Like so many..

He will be such a goofball and make you laugh

He is so nervous though

He will feel like the date wouldn't be fun for you

Are you having fun? Please say you are..his heart can't take it

Will be a wreck

Spills paint all over himself when he sees you smiling and having fun

At the end of the date he will give you his painting

It's the painting of the Galaxy

"we were supposed to paint fruits ryuji.."

Wait.. what?!

Well crap.

Cue him rambling about how he should have been paying more attention

One kiss on the cheek shuts him up

"thanks ryuji... it's beautiful"

Oh dear.. he's in love

Suke

Oh no..

He has no idea what to do

How does one create romance???

wikiHow does not help

End up giving you a bag of brightly colored feathers

Why?!

"male peacocks show off their feathers when they wish to court their mate..I do not have feathers. These are real peacock feathers..Should I have dyed my hair instead?"

Oh baby no..

Next day he gives you seashells

"they are the smoothest ones I found..I spent 12 hours on the beach searching for only the best ones for courting"

Maybe you should stop this..but you are curious what he brings next

The next day it's bones..suke why

He is all marked up

"i stole the bones from all the dogs in my neighborhood...dogs save bones cause they deem them valuable..I thought it will be a nice gift..was I wrong?"

You decide to accept his date before he brings the dogs next time or hurts himself more

Date at the beach!

He can't see you in a swimsuit but he figured you look amazing

Walking on the boardwalk!

Like the others he will try and buy you food and stuff

He kinda broke though

"i don't have enough money for the bus if I buy this..courting is expensive"

Buys it anyways

Walking on the sand is fun too!

As far as swimming suke is a little nervous but will do it if you go with him

After a bunch of fun you two sit on the sand and watch the sun go down

"the heat..is decreasing..we should head back"

Will walk you home fist even if it gets him lost

"i had fun..lets do this again"

Grabs your hand and kisses it

You don't know if you should kiss him back but you kiss his head

Suke tenses up but plays it off cool

He is so flustered that he runs into a pole..

This boy is whipped

Ryo

you got a favorite celebrity?

He will find out who and send you signed merch

You get all the atheistic pictures!

He will send you letters

He is a pervert and a dumbass though so very short letters

"you look hot- ryo"

Will give you a camera if you want one

Also VIP pass to see your favorite musical artist

His confession will be pretty lazy

Will give you a rock with writing on the back

When I say give you I mean he throws it at your window

He didnt think it would smash the window

Oops...

Well anyways you say yes..mostly cause who knows what he will do next

Date at the zoo!

Lots of animals! Yay

He takes lots of pictures

Is such a perv

"[name].. what color underwear you wear?"

Just when you are about to slap him he does some handsome shit

Cue him taking his hair out it's ponytail to fix it

He is so pretty...

Or he will smile and make a cute remark about an animal

Damn him

Honestly though if someone says something to you he will break their neck

"what a snacc they are!"

"oh so you've chosen death"

He will buy you one stuffed animal and one snack

He is not an atm

Near the end of the date you two take a seat and review all his pictures he took

"hey..this date was pretty cool..next time let's go to the aquarium"

You get a kiss on the lips

One quick yet steamy kiss

Cue him licking his lips and giving a perverted smile

"tasty~ i wonder if you taste this good everywhere"

"i..uh...RYO!"

boy laughs and makes his escape

Taro

Oh he is determined to go on a date with you

Is the only one to make house visits

"ive come to bless the house!"

"I didn't as-"

"BLESSING TIME"

he does this everyday...every single day.

It comes to a point where he pops up just to hang out

He comes up with an excuse though

"I bought these snacks and need someone to try them with"

"haha..I forgot my cross here"

After a few weeks to a month of this he comes up with one more excuse

"I got two tickets to an amusement park..I have no one to go with..oh noo.."

And that's how you find yourself wearing mouse ears while eating a mouse shaped waffle..

Honestly though it's fun

He isn't as energetic as shun but he is all for going on rides

He isn't going on roller coasters though

If you pressure him prepare for a different side of him to come out

"i said I'm not doing it."

Instantly feels bad so he goes on..

Is crying the entire time..like the entire time

Is clinging to you by the end of it

This does not stop him from riding other ones

"I have to redeem myself as a man! Let's do another one"

By the end of the date his head is in your lap cause he got sick

"[name]...did I ruin the date?"

"taro! Of course not.."

He sits up excitedly but accidently kisses your mouth

Cue him turning red and getting off the bench

Bowing x100

"I'm sorry! So sorry! So so so sorry! I can't believe I did this! Forgive me!"

He calms down when you hug him

"i had fun taro..lets do this again next time..okay?"

When you walk away he just falls to the ground laughing happily

He looks insane..

If someone looks at him

"the fuck you looking at?! Can I not be in love damn it!"