#anyway I may turn this au into an actual fic someday but for now take this

[dani-in-the-daniverse]

More Aqours ALNST AU (continuation of this post)

-Hanamaru was the first offspring of her human progenitor, so she was very loved as a child. After being sold to her alien guardians and treated as a symbol of status and basically a doll, all she wanted was love again. Then, she met Dia and Ruby at Anakt Garden and found it, that pure familial love. It led her to stick to them like glue, and eventually she developed a crush on Dia. Dia liked Hanamaru too, but she didn’t do anything because she didn’t want to damage the relationship she had with Ruby.

-Round 2 is Hanamaru vs. Riko with Mattete ai no uta. The final score is 90/89. Riko loses.

-Yoshiko was born with that name, but her alien guardians renamed her Yohane because they thought it sounded more distinguished. She always admired Hanamaru from afar and dreamed of escaping with her. They attempt at one point, but Hanamaru turns back because she doesn’t want to leave Dia and Ruby behind. Yohane stays even though she could’ve escaped alone.

-Round 3 is Yohane vs. Chika, with Daydream Warrior. Yohane wins with the score being 86/77. Yohane’s flashy performance makes her into a quick fan-favorite.

-Mari was raised by one of the richest alien families as the peak symbol of status, perfect in every way. She was the winner of the previous Alien Stage and a fan-favorite.

-There’s no Round 4. After seeing she’d be competing against Mari and knowing she had no chance of winning, You retires from the competition thinking they’ll spare her life. They don’t.

-Round 5 is Mari against Dia with My mai tonight. Mari taunts Dia throughout the entire performance, which leads to Dia physically assaulting her. Before the guards can shoot her, Dia is taken away by a mysterious woman who directs a lingering look at Mari before disappearing.

-Kanan is the one that got away. She was Mari’s girlfriend but their relationship wasn’t healthy, and she ended up escaping Anakt Garden and leaving Mari behind. She’s now a freedom fighter and a rebel.

-Round 6 is Hanamaru against Yohane, with Cure (yes, I know, I couldn’t help it). After losing both Dia and Ruby, it’s like Hanamaru has given up and has no real will to win. Yohane kisses Hanamaru, who pushes her away. The scores are going up, 63/57 with Yohane in the lead. She gives Hanamaru one last kiss and then strangles her. Yohane gets shot multiple times and falls to the stage floor as Hanamaru stares in horror. She’s lost yet another friend.

-Round 7 is Mari vs. Hanamaru with Blink gone (again, sorry). They both give their all. Hanamaru has finally decided to live after Yohane sacrificed herself for her sake, and Mari won’t lose. Meanwhile, Dia and Kanan have infiltrated the event. Dia has the intention of rescuing Hanamaru but Kanan knows it’s impossible, she just wants to sabotage it. Dia goes anyway. Mari taunts Hanamaru throughout the entire performance, but she ends up seeing Dia in the crowd, reaching for her. Hanamaru beams and tries to reach for Dia as well, but the scores are up. 97/91 in favor of Mari, the highest scores recorded in Alien Stage history. Hanamaru gets shot and dies as Dia holds her, while a stupefied Mari faces Kanan.

[saline-coelacanth]

I wanna make a quick post talking about the Purified Au, more specifically what happens between the events of season 1 and 2 of Dragons Rising. I've been meaning to make this post for a while now but I kept forgetting

ANYWAY, I've already mentioned before that the Oliver and Wyldfyre comics take place between the events of season 1 and 2, more specifically they happen somewhat shortly after the events of season 1. (Side note, I do still plan of finishing those it's just that season 2 coming out got me a little sidetracked)

So the other major thing that happens between seasons is that the other ninja do find out about Oliver's outbursts and how he's been transforming into his more scary form to fight off bad guys.

I may make a comic/short fic about this scene someday, but to give a basic idea of how things go down, the group goes out to deal with some trouble like usual. They end up splitting up to deal with the thugs, and one of them is a former member of the Claws of Imperium. Oliver goes after them and ends up going into outburst mode and is then confronted by Lloyd who is a little freaked out and tells Oliver to stop. They argue for a bit, Oliver saying that this person is gonna harm more people and Lloyd saying that they shouldn't take such drastic measures. Eventually, the former Claw of Imperium states that they honestly just don't know what to do know that Imperium isn't capturing dragons like they used to and they just feel lost and confused. Lloyd then comforts them and helps them onto a better path. Lloyd and Oliver then leave, Oliver turning back to normal and Lloyd continuing the argument from earlier. Oliver does manage to explain that he just wants to protect everyone, and Lloyd understands that, but encourages Oliver to try and keep his anger in check so he isn't going full scary mode on low level thugs. Oliver agrees and they probably hug or something. Afterwards, Lloyd ends up letting the other ninja know about what happened with Oliver so that they're aware and they won't be as caught off guard if they see Oliver go Outburst mode in the middle of battle.

Slightly minor thing but I also like the idea of Kai being the one to actually help Oliver control his anger and not let it get out of control all the time since Kai has had a lot of experience with that. This also just makes Kai getting sacrificed and Oliver going into an Outburst afterwards hurt even more which is always great :)

So yeah, that's about everything I feel the need to mention for now. I basically just wanted to establish that by the time season 2 comes around, the ninja are fully aware of Oliver's outbursts and he's no longer hiding them.

[unhealthyfanobsession]

Do you think you’ll continue with the lawyer Nessian fic. It was so amazingly written I’d love to read more! I love all your writing anyways I’ll be happy with anything❤️

Ok not *technically* a Drabble request BUT I’m not ready to commit to a full lawyer AU that happens in order however I did just drum up a part 2 that we’ll say is several years before the previous lawyer AU. Nessian teasing in a bar and Rhys being a dumbass.

FYI the lawyer Drabble I’m talking about can be found HERE.

“I’m in love,” Rhys slurred. Cassian, a decent bit bigger than his brother and two drinks behind him, had a gentle buzz so he could only surmise that his brother was well passed sober.

“Congratulations,” Cassian grinned, clapping his hand on Rhys’ shoulder. “May I lay eyes upon the future Mrs. Dumbass.”

Rhys stared at him flatly. Blew a laugh out of his nose. “She’s not marrying you, brother.”

Cassian snorted, casting his eyes around the elegantly decorated little lounge they’d stepped into for the night. Lounge, not bar. Because they were mature adults now looking to take the edge off after a long day of work, not college students looking to get fucked up.

It was different.

It was different because the cocktails cost $20 and were served in actual stemware instead of red solo cups. They were evolving. Growing. Cassian was a lawyer now and Rhys was supposed to be doing actual work for his dad’s company so… no more dive bars.

Now they frequented little lounges where accountants and lawyers and bankers sat in tailored suits and discussed… adult things.

It was all very civilized.

And yet here was his brother. Every bit the horny college student they were trying not to be. Oh well, old dogs and all that.

“End of the bar.” Rhys jerked his head to the left and Cassian grinned.

“Might be a little old for you, champ.”

Rhys wrinkled his brow and turned to look at the grandmother doing a crossword puzzle on the far left side of the bar. A martini glass in front of her. Good for grandma.

“Other end of the bar!”

Cassian smirked. He didn’t need to turn his head, since he’s noticed her the second she walked in, but he still did. Just so he could look some more.

“Ah, you mean the deliciously dishevelled leggy brunette with her suit jacket on the chair beside her who just ripped the pins out of her hair like they personally offended her and then laid them in a neat little pile beside her Kobo?

“Mmm,” Rhys grinned, “I’d like her to rip those fingers through my hair.”

Cassian rolled his eyes. “Go for it, brother.”

Rhys grinned wider. “I think I will.” He straightened up, ran a hair through his artfully mussed hair, and pulled on the lapels of his Gucci suit jacket until they were even again.

Cassian snickered into his Old Fashioned. Rhys could straighten his jacket all he wanted. He could pretend he wasn’t drunk all he wanted. It wouldn’t matter one bit.

Not with Nesta Archeron.

Nesta Archeron who hated men that stunk of trust funds and privilege more than anything else in this world.

This would be fun to watch.

Watch her try to ignore him at first. Eyes glued to the page of her book, hand reaching up to wave through the air like Rhys was an annoying fly she could swat away.

Rhys, to his credit, was a clever little bastard. He asked the bartender for a refill of her drink and set it down in front of her then sat himself one stool down from her.

He didn’t move her jacket to sit next to her, which would have had her going feral. He just sat there, waiting.

After a few moments Nesta let out an exacerbated sigh that Cassian could hear from across the room. There was his girl.

Well, not his girl. Not even a little bit his girl, but… someday.

Cassian decided that he was going to Marry Nesta Archeron the first time she kicked his ass up and down a negotiation meeting. It was a couple years ago now. He’d been young and new at his firm. She was young and new too, but the words learning curve were not in Nesta’s vocabulary. Everything she did, she did with perfection.

Including getting rid of men she didn’t want hitting on her.

She said something to his brother that made Rhys’ half drunk, cocky, smile fall halfway down his face.

Cassian would’ve given his left eye to know what she said in that moment. She had a knack for jumping at the jugular and Rhys… oh Rhys. So obvious.

After a few moments and the continual fall of Rhys’ face, Cassian decided it was time to intervene. He knocked his drink back and straightened out his own suit jacket. Armani, still overpriced and designer but not so obvious or try hard as Mr. Up On The Trends with his Gucci. Nesta appreciated classics.

Simple. Clean lines, solid colours, classic. Which was why it was so fun just how attracted she was to his half wild self.

Unlike Rhys, Cassian plucked Nesta’s light grey suit jacket up off the stool beside her and reached over her head to hang it on a coat hook at the end of the bar. Settling himself into the chair beside her like it was exactly where he belonged. Which it was.

She turned around with an indignant shriek and a fire-breathing snarl that narrowed into just a hard glare when she realized it was him. Touching.

“This guy giving you trouble, Nes?”

Rhys choked on his whiskey and Cassian fought his hardest to keep a straight face.

“I so don’t need your saviour complex right now, Cassian.” Nesta scoffed.

“No,” Rhys rolled his eyes. “She was doing perfectly well scaring off everyone in a 10 mile radius all on her own.”

Nesta smiled sweetly, “I was just playing your game.”

Rhys sputtered again. Looked up at his brother. “This devil woman that you apparently already know,” he glared, “is all yours. I’m going home.”

“Be sure to drink plenty of water!” Nesta sing songed after him. Rhys flipped them both off on his way out.

“What’d you say to him?”

Nesta smiled. A pretty, feline little thing. “He said he wanted to chat. Suggested 20 question, which is the lamest, oldest, crustiest line in the book. So I went first. Asked just how small his dick was that he felt the need to overcompensate with the swagger and the gratuitous displays of wealth. He thought he was quite clever to use his question to ask if I wanted to check for myself how not small his dick was and then I asked if his daddy never loved him and that’s where all of that machismo masking painfully obvious and deep seeded feelings of inadequacy and insecurity came from. I was going to offer him my friend’s number before you showed up. She’s an excellent therapist.”

Cassian laughed. Hard. For a very long time. He loved Rhys, but sometimes the kid could use a nice set down. It was always sweeter when delivered by a beautiful woman. Not to mention, Cassian himself had gotten the same ice cold rejection the first time he met Nesta. When he asked if she wanted to get a coffee and she looked at him like something she’d scraped off the bottom of her shoe. That Rhys was chased off so easily just proved he couldn’t take the heat.

“You know the walking trust fund, I presume?” Nesta boredly sipped the drink Rhys had bought her. And even that was somehow amusing.

“Only for the last couple decades or so,” Cassian grinned. “He’s like a brother to me.”

“Explains a lot.”

“Your insults are more impactful when you clarify which person is being insulted.”

“I was going for the two birds one stone method.”

“In that case, consider me wounded, sweetheart.”

Nesta scoffed, “Unfortunately not mortally.”

“Oh Nesta, if I weren’t here you’d die of boredom and you know it. No one else can run you up and down the courtroom like I can.” Now. Cassian grinned as he watched the word flash across her eyes. He’d never live that first blunder down.

Nesta rose an eyebrow. “Bold of you to assume you present any challenge whatsoever.”

Cassian signalled for another drink and leaned forward. “Alright, I’ll bite. Who in this entire city can give you more of a run for your money?”

“Vanserra.” Nesta looked him dead in the eye. And managed to keep a straight face. As if that wasn’t the funniest fucking thing he’d heard all day.

“Oh yes, Nepotism and Nepotism LLP certainly has us all shaking in our boots,” Cassian blew out a breath. “What are you working on now?”

“I’m working on upholding attorney-client privilege.”

“So, the Suncurser merger.”

Nesta looked up. “How did you-”

“Helion and I are old friends. I checked the zoning on the lots he was buying before the merger went ahead to make sure the expansion was even feasible. But, as you know, M&A isn’t my thing. So I may have… given him a referral.”

“Are there any rich playboys in this city that you aren’t friends with?” Nesta finished off her drink and pointedly didn’t signal for another. “And if you think I’m going to be grateful to you for sending this my way you’ve got another thing-“

“Helion is my friend.” Cassian repeated, cutting her off. “He believes in this merger and he wants it done right. You’re the best, Nesta. Why wouldn’t I send him to you?”

“It’s not just to get in my pants?” She narrowed her eyes.

Cassian laughed again. “Oh no, sweetheart. When you invite me into your bed it will have nothing to do with work. It’ll be because you’re tired of denying how much you want me.” Cassian leaned in closer, one hand resting on the back of her chair. “Tired of denying the thrill that shoots through your whole body when we lay into each other. In the court room or out.” His nose brushed against hers, just a little, and Cassian felt Nesta tense up. He smirked, mouth just inches away from hers. “Tired of denying how right this is.”

Nesta’s voice was rough, husky. “So your plan is to wear me down?”

Cassian smirked. “My plan,” his hand came up to stroke the silk covered expanse of her upper arm, “is to marry you, Nesta Archeron. But sure, we can start with wearing you down.”

***Feyre and Nesta look physically similar so you can’t tell me drunk Rhys wouldn’t hit on Nesta in a bar before realizing he’d made a terrible mistake and running away thank you***

Also tags yourself, I’m the grandma doing the crossword puzzle with a martini. She’s an icon and she is the moment.

[ladyartemesia]

Yooo your love story straight out seems like an e2l slow burn tumblr fic. Do you have any plans using at as a plot?? I would def read it 👀

I don’t know if I would truly call it enemies-to-lovers because—although I got irritated with him and his behavior and did snap at him from time to time—we were not really enemies. In fact we were barely friends for most of the years we knew each other—

Well.

Ok. So that’s not totally true...

We fought online constantly. From the time we graduated college (where his crush first developed and I routinely forgot his name) the two of us were always fighting on social media—usually about politics—and occasionally about other things but both of us were too smart to ever truly get the better of each other so there was a grudging respect, (his mom said he used to yell at his computer screen about me). We had it OUT several times online even though we rarely—if ever—spoke in person.

My poor sweet boy DID get himself in trouble over me in more ways than one though—even if we’re weren’t close yet...

His college girlfriend set him up to fail asked him who he would date if the two of them weren’t together and he answered immediately—vehemently—

“Viola. I would definitely date Viola if I could.”

🤦🏻‍♀️ (oh...honey...no)

(That would become a huge THING in their relationship. Every time they got into a fight his ex would shout “why don’t you just go date VIOLA then?!”—When he married me he said he felt like a real winner in that particular collection of conflicts. Playing the long game I guess 🤣😂)

Back then I was all about the music/dramatic arts scene and I was dating a string of empty headed pretty boys who bored me nigh unto death because I was young and completely stupid.

In contrast my someday-boo was painfully quiet and shy (though not really with me because he was too busy trying to prove me wrong), but everyone who met him or spoke to him really liked him and respected him.

After college we were were still in the same extended social circle (and—as previously mentioned—fighting online), but I went to grad school and my not-yet-husband decided to chill for awhile and take a job as a landscaper while he figured his life out and... here’s where it gets complicated because...

—that’s where the girls came in. You see... he’s always been a really nice guy... maybe a little too nice 🤦🏻‍♀️

The term fuqboi tends to conjure up impressions of a cocky frat bro who slyly shags his way through a mountain of willing women with disconnected efficiency and a subtext of emotional constipation.

But that would not be the case here.

You see my husband is a listener. He’s an INFP. He, unlike many of his brethren, understands emotions and can really make a woman feel seen. Combine that with his good looks, brilliant mind, and broody nerditude and you have a recipe for women who were ‘just friends’ randomly dropping to their knees (and a lot more) for him.

Never one to stand in the way of a lady’s dreams, pre-me-hubby figured that if they were that determined to (*insert miscellaneous sexy stuff here*) with him then—well—he’d let them.

I mean why not, right? No harm done.

Wrong. 🤬

And here is where our paths truly began to merge (in the real world) for the first time.

As the FOURTH girl (just in my friend group) he graciously allowed (🤦🏻‍♀️) to have her wicked way with him sobbed in my arms, I became determined to put this ridiculous man-child IN his PLACE—this time in the tactile world as well as the virtual one.

...Poor Liz

She realized that he had absolutely no desire whatsoever to be in a relationship with anything other than his WoW account and she was insistent that he had broken her heart.

So I cornered him and we had it out. (Call me meddlesome, but to be fair he was four friends deep at this point.)

The problem was that... the more I talked to him...the more he was not really what I expected... I found myself...oddly...intrigued?

Later it would come out that I was the first girl—ever—that he actually pursued. And I was not even aware of it for like the first three months.

He was pretty slick after all when it came down to it.

That man convinced me to ‘help him’ with women—to make sure he didn’t get himself into another situation where some girl with heart eyes was tearing off his clothes and expecting commitment.

HE ASKED ME TO BE HIS ‘EXCUSE.’

🤦🏻‍♀️(...I know. I’m an idiot.)

“We can hang out. You’ll teach me how to spot if a girl is about to catch feelings and take off my pants. And I will have an excuse when they call as to why we can’t hang out” (—and ...they really were always calling. It was wild.)

....I mean he WAS shy! It SEEMED plausible!

So yeah my dim self agreed to it. (🤦🏻‍♀️)

I considered it a valiant attempt to save the rest of my social circle from the most clueless ‘accidental’ fuqboi on planet earth and maybe even an opportunity to teach him how to be a real human being and what not.

And before you think ‘fake dating’—we weren’t. We were just hanging out as friends. You see when I went to yell at him (and chased him down after he laughed at me and tried to escape) we ended up talking in his car for like four hours. And then that happened like three more times randomly so... I... actually... wanted... to be his friend... 🤷🏻‍♀️

I was still 110% not interested romantically.

Your girl (me) was after some bland banker dude (🤦🏻‍♀️) and so I blissfully fell into friendship with my actual soulmate without a single second thought. And I never worried about either of us catching feelings because I had a crush on someone else and he had heavily implied that I was not his type. (He told me later that I just assumed this and he simply never corrected me 🙄)

I don’t remember falling for him. I never decided to. I never thought about it...

But one day after the whole crew was hanging out at a restaurant (and the waiter kept giving me free drinks which may have pissed my once-and-future man off) the two of us went out to his car to have our customary three hour post-chill chat...

I was teasing him about something—some girl he was still attempting to untangle himself from—and I said—as had become my habit (seriously I said this so many times as a joke)—“It’s too bad I’m not your type—you could just tell her you have a girlfriend.”

(Now. I know what you’re thinking. But I was still firmly on team platonic ok! I was just a flirt. And maybe part of me was starting to feel weird things about him—but those feelings weren’t like anything I recognized so I thought I just needed to cut back on sugar or something.)

(Have I mentioned I’m an idiot?)

ANYWAYS he looked me right in the eye. So serious. And instead of saying “that’s too bad”—LIKE he ALWAYS did—he said—

“You...are my type, Viola... You’re exactly my type.”

To which I responded—“....What? No I’m not. You said I wasn’t.”

“Never said that. You assumed.”

“You LET me!”

—followed by a good ten minutes of me having an existential crisis/yelling at him for allowing me to believe he didn’t find me attractive and lulling me into a false sense of security. He was infuriatingly unapologetic.

At the end of it all he asked me to give him—give us—a chance.

And I agreed to go out on a few dates with him (mostly to prove to myself that there was nothing there).

(🤦🏻‍♀️)

The only thing I ended up proving was that I was wrong about what I wanted and even more wrong about what I needed.

You see...

Those weird feelings turned out to be love.

(🤦🏻‍♀️)

And it was a really special experience to sit in a room full of girls who had cried in my arms over him—girls I had lectured repeatedly on the dangers of his heartless ways— and admit that I was his girlfriend.

🤦🏻‍♀️

Love was—and continues to be—nothing like I expected and frankly I couldn’t be happier.

... to answer your questions

1. I have considered writing a fic based on our story called Broken Road. The title is taken from an old Rascal Flatts song that—as insanely cheesy as it is—really reminds me of us. Don’t know if I will actually write this. Thought about it a lot though.

2. Tags I would use for this story?

#enemies-to-lovers / #idiots-to-lovers / #college au / #outgoing!fem reader(me) x shy nerd!accidental fuqboi / #reader is also a huge nerd actually / #she’s just a loud one / #frenemies-to-lovers / #the love is requited / #they’re just idiots / #pining (his) / denial (mine) / #reader has terrible taste in men / #except for that last one / #she really redeemed herself there at the end

[snellyfish]

May I ask..... what is in your post game V3? I dunno how to ask this without sounding weird.

HM!!!!!!!!! GOOD QUESTION;;

I mostly only have braincells for Kiyo and Angie so not a lot of my thoughts are straying from that unfortunately LMAO, I was able to branch off a bit answering this though so thank you for indirectly helping me develop more!!

But I like to think it's the same scenario as the second game where it was all just a simulation. I know what I fantasize about is a VR AU and that "postgame" tends to refer to the survivors but literally none of my favorites survived so reality can be whatever I want: postgame Shinnaga is so canon it's unreal!! I'm sure there's probably a VR fic for them somewhere out there in the world, I wouldn't know because I suck at reading fhdjfk, but I would love to write my own someday HEH

-------------------------

They'd all wake up one by one as they die and end up all in the same facility where they're taken care of by the Danganronpa team, unable to leave until they’re well again due to the contracts they signed prior to playing-- Meaning Angie wakes up, Tenko wakes up a few hours later, Kiyo another few hours later, etc. Angie jumps back pretty quick from things so she'd be already VERY excited to see Kiyo*  after watching the trial, mostly because Angie like immediately caught onto what his sister really was to him (HINT: CONTROLLING AND AWFUL) and yelling at her screen saying "GOD WILL SMITE YOU ALL FOR PICKING ON THE WEAK" at everyone just calling him some incestuous freak during the trial. Angie does have genuinely incredible intuition (thanks god!) so she looks past the fact he murdered her Scarily Fast. Everyone would definitely mistrust and hate Angie even more as she tries to preach to them afterwards about Kiyo and how they need to forgive him since he’s a victim and God (most important opinion) already forgave him, but no one ever listened to her anyway especially postgame so it’s all in vain 😔

*whom might take a bit to wake up and fully acclimate again because...idk this man was boiled alive that's kinda Fucked I think all the executed would take longer to wake up because they went through more lengthy + traumatic deaths I guess? This just means even more time for Angie to sit on her thoughts about what happened to her+Kiyo yuh yuh

Everyone becomes a mix of their pregame selves and the identities they were given, they'd end up being mediocre/average (sometimes bad) at what their handpicked talent was but a lot of them still keep up doing it until they DO become good again. A very small amount of them try to replicate their killing game outfits and kinda live off the high of being what they once were and accomplished in their fake memories, like Miu and Himiko. (this also makes me think about Irumeno a bit more 👀) Pretty much every single one of them in pregame saw themselves as nothing, being disposable enough to be in a killing game (even if it turns out to be virtual), so the new identities would overpower the mix for the most part since they’re the more intensified and dramaticized personality--IF THAT MAKES ANY SENSE LOL.

--Angie absolutely never stopped her art and has a less intense view on Religion, since garnering more experiences in life she’s just be less intense in general I'd think; more open with her emotions in that she'd actually cry, but still very manic and bubbly and optimistic nonetheless. After getting help (mostly from Kiyo who deals with the same thing), Angie is able to differentiate her thoughts and desires from “God”’s thoughts and desires, YEA she still has a funky little friend in her head. She's not AS pushy especially not with her equally traumatized fellow killing game participants but she still absolutely gets her moments of intensity and assertiveness now and then if she thinks something God is telling her is absolute truth and for the betterment of everyone: she is still Angie afterall, truly believing everyone would be much happier with her God in their lives but having enough self-restraint to know everyone will just push her away further if she tries to help them in that regard. She has her moments of desperation but most everyone’s too far gone from her already.

--Korekiyo is such a complicated one--I do like to think of pregame Kiyo as transfem/nonbinary and that would partially stick into his postgame identity in some way...killing game Kiyo was Just A Dude but after becoming the mix of the two identities he'd be VERY confused, especially with the influence of his (simulated) sister's influence. (genderfluid time? :)) He'd have varying degrees of when his...sister...alter...thing...comes out, or is present in his head in any regard, she'd be gone or slowly disappearing from his mind for months at a time and he'd initially be extremely unstable about it because he feels extremely isolated and lost when he can’t talk to her, but he's got Angie by his side so he becomes significantly less stressed about it over time, learning to cope with it. Eventually he finds himself no longer dependent on sister and...has to learn a SECOND time to not be unhealthily dependent; on Angie this time. (funky little idea I’ve been wanting to draw/write about sometime...hnnrngm) They’re both miracle workers when it comes to each other’s mental health it’s kinda insane. Of course, after realizing that Sister never really existed, he harbors near-immediate guilt for having murdered Angie and Tenko once he’s alone with his thoughts, not being puppeteered by sister, realizing everything he ever did he did for HER and realizing how fucked it all was pretty quickly--he does crave interacting with his victims in a positive and healing light but he’s sort of traumatized by it all to the point he is TERRIFIED when they’re around him at first.

--Tenko ends up EVEN MORE protective and grudgeful after she wakes up, trying to shield everyone and everything from most of the blackened, absolutely makes Kiyo manage to feel like even worse shit when he's got 1 extremely supportive and loving woman he killed and 1 extremely spiteful woman he killed who might legitimately murder him in return if he’s not careful. Tenko never makes amends with Angie and becomes close with Himiko (who's close with Gonta despite Tenko's wishes (she hates him for killing Miu, local woman)), managing to keep Himiko far far away from Angie, not only for "stealing" Himiko in the Student Council but also for the fact Angie's glued to Kiyo's side--making her the second least trustworthy person to Tenko..

--Himiko is very traumatized after the game due to surviving all the way til the end, likely making her (along with Shuichi+Maki) very disillusioned and lost--unable to decipher anything from fiction or reality--it takes a long time for Himiko to really “accept” anything; tried to cling to both Tenko and Angie but ends up just stuck on Tenko, mourning the loss of her friendship with Angie while doing so. Himiko would probably be shoved away from Gonta at first as well, but Tenko felt a lot more confident in Gonta so after a long while of her aggressively trying to teach him manners and keeping an emotional deathgrip on him whenever he wants to interact with Himiko, they’d end up close friends again. Still thinking about Irumeno-- Also with the whole ~~Survivor Delusions~~ thing, I think that helps play into Himiko’s attachment and insistence to keep up her old magician identity, because she has a very hard time trying to tell what’s real n fake ykno, and it takes her a while to realize she doesn’t have her talent anymore; absolutely ending in tearful breakdowns and unending determination to find herself again by forcibly trying to improve and push herself to her limits.

For the most part Kiyo and Angie are outcasted from everyone else, a lot of that being due to Tenko's preaching but...also everyone just doesn't understand what actually happened to Kiyo and they are all deathly worried about Angie, but not enough to get themselves involved; they're scared of Angie too, afterall, not as much as they're scared of Kiyo but ykno-- They think her naivety and determination to “fix him” is going to get her murdered again, every day they’re just counting down the minutes until it happens again. (spoiler alert: it doesn’t)

I could ABSOLUTELY go off more but I really have to end this at some point so fhdsjkfds--

TLDR;; Angie (and God alter) forgive Kiyo almost immediately. Sister alter likes to disappear sometimes making Kiyo sad and unfortunately dependent on Angie. Both Kiyo + Angie help each other heal and recover from their issues. Tenko hates both Kiyo + Angie with a passion and protectively forbids Himiko from seeing either of them. Himiko is close friends with Tenko and Gonta and Maybe More with Miu.

[ryqoshay]

Putting on Hairs - Post Production: Death's Duet

Primary Pairing: ShizuKasu Rating: T? Words: 524 AU: Theater, Monsters, Cryptids Fandom: Love Live Nijigasaki Parent Fic: Putting on Hairs - Post Production Time Frame: Sometime after the main story Event: Promptober 2022 Event Source: Idol Fanfic Heaven channel on Discord Prompt: Duet Content Warning: Poetic discussions of death

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Author’s Note: Bonus 2nd entry for Oct 12th

Summary: Shizuku contemplates death and her status as a ghost

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Life has always been a dance And death has sung the tune But no dance can forever last And some may end too soon

A duet as old as time A cycle spinning free Life is fleeting and sublime And death eternal as can be

But can the voices sing as one Or dancers change their step? Has life's song now begun Can death dance…

Shizuku stared at the screen. What rhymed with step? Footstep? Doorstep? Misstep? No, those all were just other steps. Prep? No. Schlep? Also no.

What if she changed it to moves? She could rhyme that with groove, which often was used to mean or refer to dancing. But it also had a different feel than the rest of the poem. Hrm…

“Ne, Shizuko, I'm gonna start making din… oh, whatcha working on?” Shizuku heard her girlfriend move up behind her. “A new play? Reviewing something Chika wrote? Or are you writing something yourself?” Kasumi placed a hand on Shizuku's shoulder and leaned in toward the screen.

“I was actually taking a break from anything for the theater.” Shizuku said. “Just having a little fun with some personal writing.”

“Ah, I see.” Kasumi said and quickly read what was on the screen. “Uhm… I don't get it.” She scratched her head. “Does Shizuko wanna kill Kaumin and sing a duet with her ghost?”

“No. No.” Shizuku chuckled. “I am very much happy with Kasumi-chan being alive.”

“Oh.”

“But maybe someday…”

“Wait, wha?”

Shizuku laughed again.

“Shizuko~!” Kasumi pushed on Shizuku’s shoulder, moving her girlfriend around in the chair.

“Anyway, the poem was supposed to be about a duet between Live and Death.” Shizuku explained. “Sort of. I mean it starts out with Life dancing and Death singing, but then I was thinking about switching them to finish. Or maybe combining them in some way? You know, because I’m a ghost. I’m neither alive nor dead. I’m something else; undead, in colloquial terms.”

“Hrm…” Kasumi reread the words. “Ok, yeah, I can see that now. Say, isn’t your meter off there?” She pointed.

“It’s probably off in a few places.” Shizuku admitted. “It was just a little exercise to keep the creative juices flowing before I get back to my play.”

“So, you are writing a play.”

Shizuku nodded.

“Does Kasumin get a part?”

“There is a part I’m writing with Kasumi-chan in mind, yes.”

“Heehee… And Kasumin and Shizuko can be a couple on stage, right?” Kasumi accentuated her words by nuzzling her cheek against Shizuku’s.

“Hmmm… About that…”

Kasumi pouted. Shizuku laughed.

“Anyway, Kasumin’s hungry, so she’s gonna go make dinner.” Kasumi stood back up.

“Let me know if there’s anything you want me to help with.”

“Thanks, but Shizuko’s busy with making a new play, so Kasumin doesn’t want to interrupt too much.”

“You’re fine. I don’t mind being interrupted by Kasumi-chan.”

That comment earned the exact response Shizuku sought, a brilliant smile from her girlfriend. She flashed a smile of her own before returning to her laptop.

A duet with Kasumi-chan… Shizuku thought.

She hadn’t planned her new play specifically to be a musical, but would it be so bad to turn it into one? The theater was earning a reputation for musicals, after all. And in that case, Moya was to be the love interest of Otosu, so it would make sense for the two to have at least one song together.

However… Shizuku smiled as she remembered Kasumi’s concerns over being killed for a duet with death. It was a bit ironic considering what Shizuku had planned for the characters she intended for the two of them to play. But that did give her some new ideas.

With her creative motivation restored, Shizuku opened the document for her new original play, Detective Otosu, and got back to work.

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Author’s Note Continued: First off, Death’s Duet is an old MtG card and the first two lines of Shizuku’s poem are adapted from its flavor text.

And second, I honestly have no idea if a Detective Noir style play could work as a musical. I mean I also don’t see why not; surely it’s not the strangest thing to be musical’ized.

[alreadyblondenow]

When December comes | Hendery

✦ Hendery x reader x Lucas ✦ Fluff, Smut, Angst, Royalty AU, Nutcracker AU ✦ 3/5 for HOLIDAY SERIES: Once Upon A December

Summary: As an adopted legitimate princess and future queen of two kingdoms, you grew up proving yourself that you deserve the role that has given to you. Nothing is simple about being an adopted princess but being arranged to marry Prince Hendery turned your life upside down.He left you, eventually. And by the time he came back to your life, you have a loving boyfriend, and Prince Hendery…. is arranged to be married to your sister now.  

Word count: 8,690k

Warnings: adopted reader (if thats triggering at any point, please click away) A lot of smut, unprotected sex, mentions of sex, swearing, mentions of other idols, fingering, mentions of rough sex, heavy cheating, major character death

A/N: PURE FICTION. This is a love triangle fic but not much focused to Lucas, more on Hendery. Inspired by a bunch of royalty movies, especially princess diaries, Nutcracker (ballet), inspired by the song Satisfied from Hamilton. Love writing for Hendery so much. Check my recent post for Hendery’s thirst photos whahaha, as per Lucas character here idk I always see him as sweet and lovable and he always knows what to do. The guy has serious good leadership skills if you haven’t’ notice and i think its sexy. I’m glad this didnt reach to 10k bc u know me i hate my works being long af haha enjoy reading mwa!

For @jeongyoonohs​ sorry it took me so long to finish this :( But this is for you! 

OPENING

Once upon a time, in a kingdom not so far away, ruled by a king and queen who can’t have a baby no matter how many times they’ve tried. The sad news spread all over the kingdom and caused chaos everywhere mainly because they were scared for the fall of their beloved kingdom.

But the king is wise. He made an alliance with the kingdom of his truest friend and together they helped each other’s kingdom by making an agreement. “I can’t have a child, but my queen and I have decided to adopt a baby girl,” the king says to his fellow king.

“And my wife is carrying a baby boy”

“It’s settled then. My adopted daughter will be arranged with your son, and someday be married to each other” They shook hands and made the agreement official by sealing it with their signatures and royal seals in front of their queens.

The kingdom that lost their trust with their king is now calmed relieved after hearing the great news of the two kingdoms having an alliance. And to fully earned their trust again, they searched far and wide for a baby girl that will soon be the future of their kingdom.

“And that baby girl is you my darling” your grandfather finishes his bedtime story to you. Caging you in his strong arms, cradling you like you’re truly related by blood. “Grow up as a fine woman and save this kingdom” he added. You embraced your grandfather back and smiled so sweetly at him, tracing his handsome features… then you remembered.

“Tell me the story about the Nutcracker prince,” you singsong to him. He doesn’t tell you the original story, but instead, he always tells you his version and it’s always better. His embrace became tighter, then he looked at his expensive watch to check how many minutes does he have left.

“Okay. I only have a few minutes left, princess” He started by introducing the Nutcracker prince to you which is actually magical because even though you’ve heard of this so many times it never gets old and you’re always excited to hear it again.

He described the prince as a soldier like him, but a younger version he says with a giggle. And that Nutcracker slash prince slash soldier is made specifically for you so that one day, the two of you can rule two kingdoms all at once. “Why do I need a prince?” you pout, and your grandfather is startled by your question.

“Well, jeez, I don’t know. I’m sure you can still be a fine queen without a prince, right?” he says while tucking you in and preparing you for bed. “But let’s just say that princesses like you need a proper man like the Nutcracker because… grandfather will not always be by your side” of course he can’t mention death to you, no, you’re too young to know about these things. So he kissed you goodnight on your forehead and promise to see you early in the morning again.

Growing up as an adopted princess was never easy because the eyes of a judging kingdom have always been against you and your family. That’s why as you grow up, you swore to yourself that you will prove them wrong and that you are the future of this kingdom. At a very young age, you made your parents proud of your gift of leadership and continue to make them proud by doing great in school.

Until one day, the queen finally got pregnant.

The kingdom became so busy about the queen’s pregnancy and literally, every person is excited about your baby sister. You were only nine years old and you were innocent as you can be so you don’t know that the attention is slowly shifting to your baby sister. You didn’t mind of course, again, you were just a kid. But as you grew older and older you can finally foresee a life behind the shadow of your baby sister. The real princess. It’s like she took everything from you… but whenever you remember that you’re adopted, it seems like she’s just taking what’s originally hers in the first place.  

Today is your thirteenth birthday and you celebrated it with your grandfather in an amusement park. He is the only person left in your life who can see you as a rare gem and you’re thankful for him. As you walked around the busy park, with a few bodyguards on your sides, you and your grandfather laugh and laugh while you’re eating hotdogs on a stick.

“Your father told me that you refused to have a ball for your thirteenth birthday? Why?” he asked while enjoying his food.

“I’m not a real princess grandfather, I don’t deserve a ball. And besides, riding that scary rollercoaster is better than dancing with a bunch of princes whom I don’t know in the first place, and playing dress-up the whole night”

“Hmm. Don’t you say that you’re not a real princess, there was a Y/n before your baby sister. And the kingdom is still looking forward with you ruling us someday because you’re older than your sister and you’re still a legi-“

“timate daughter, I know, I understand grandfather thank you for reminding me” you wiped the ketchup on his lips and smiled at him, “What will I do without you? I hope that my Nutcracker prince is exactly like you. Wise and strong”

“Don’t worry about that darling, you’re still young, and I’m still here” he giggles and walks you towards that scary rollercoaster ride.

ACT 1

Things slowly change around the castle and you learned to distant yourself from your parents but not forgetting your duty as a first born and legitimate adopted daughter of the king and queen. And as you enter royal high school, you thought that your life will get uglier but no. Surprisingly, school made you feel alive and less of a princess and more like a future leader.

But most importantly, you finally met your Nutcracker. Prince Hendery.

Usually, prince and princesses meet for the first time during a royal ball, soiree, or a simple lunch at the palace’s garden grounds. But you and Prince Hendery, met in the school hallway for the first first time. It is as if your whole world slowed down, every student walked in slow motion while you and Hendery locked eyes on each other. And the best part is, he did not know that you’re the princess who’s meant to be forever with him.

At first, you don’t talk to each other and just simply exchange smiles and glances from time to time whenever you cross paths in the hallway, eating at the cafeteria, or ‘reading’ at the library. You thought it wasn’t fair that you know everything about him but he doesn’t even know what you look like.

“You know I’ve been flirting with this princess for months already, do you know her name?” Hendery whispers at his fellow prince, Xiaojun, and told him to take a look at where you’re seated. Xiaojun then scoffed at his friend and playfully slapped Hendery’s face knowing that he is completely clueless about who you are.

“I don’t know if you’re always going to be this dumb, you’re going to be a king someday. Anyway, that princess is Y/n. The Y/n” and that is all it takes to make Hendery realize that he has been flirting with his soulmate for weeks now.

From there on the prince has become bold with his gestures. Sitting with you during breaks, even flirting with you in front of your friends and his friends. Prince Hendery has the most beautiful smile you have ever seen, hair is black and soft and you bet it smells good either, he was tall but just right for your height. Not only he was perfectly handsome, but he is a gentleman too. In other words, everything about him screams prince charming.  

You and prince Hendery were the talk of royal school. Everyone knew about your arrangement and the alliance of your kingdoms. You even hear people talk on the hallways that you’re literally made for each other that’s why everyone envied you.

“Let’s grow up first, okay?” Hendery says, giving you a single rose during your school’s Valentine event. A simple gesture that says there's no need to rush on being in a relationship and make everything official between the two of you but also, it was a subtle move to show everyone that you already belong to each other so there should be no competition.

You fell in love with each other from a distance, not rushing through love, taking your time, and enjoying your youth because you have a lifetime together. Although, Hendery likes reminding everyone that you’re his in the most subtle way, may it be hugging you in public, kissing your cheek before you go home, and smiling your way whenever he sees you around the school.

From freshman year until your senior year, you and Hendery waited until you’re both legal of age to finally make it official. The news was all over the TV, tabloids, articles, and magazines that you’re in love with each other. It was a cute high school sweethearts story and every day was perfect.

Senior year just started and you and Hendery decided to study together but the planned study session became a make out session, giggling and cuddling in his bed while still wearing your uniforms. The prince was looking at you, admiring your pretty face touching your features softly then suddenly he noticed that he can almost see your breast. He looked away, of course. And covered his head with one of his pillows as he groans in frustration.

“What? Why?” you asked, completely clueless. He didn’t answer you, instead, he covers your exposed skin with a small pillow. “Oh shit, I’m sorry” you apologized immediately and became shy like him too.

“It’s okay. If I’m being honest I wanted to touch you but, I knew better than that. Can we promise to be each other’s first and last?”

“You mean sex?”

“Exactly, sex”

“Only if we seal it with a kiss,” you bite back in a flirty tone, looking at his pink lips that are slowly coming closer to you. When your lips touched, you returned the kiss and swing your arms around his neck, situating him accidentally in between your legs. Skirt lifted and all. Your bodies are becoming warm in an instant and you both know you need to stop before you make wrong decisions.

“How's that for a promise? Let’s get married when we grow older and have sex every day” he bit the shell of your ear, making you giggle and laugh with him. Being this horny with each other is normal, you thought. You are both young and full of passion, and it amazes you how Hendery wanted to wait until you get married and be kings and queens.

Senior year is perfect. Every day.

Until one day, Hendery’s father died and he stopped coming to school. You hear different kinds of gossip every day. 'Is he a king now? That's why he's not coming to school?', 'School is boring for king Hendery now', 'Are they gonna be married soon?', 'Are they even ready to rule yet?'. Again, you were the talk of the nation. The headline ‘Prince Hendery left Princess Y/n’ was everywhere and you can't do anything about it. You weren’t hurt that he left everything, you were more worried because maybe he’s all alone and grieving. You wanted to ask his family but you respect their privacy.

“So he just left?” you told your grandfather everything. He just came back from his cruise around the world and you’re happy to see his visible tan lines, for sure he had a great time.

“Yep, just like that grandfather,” you walk shoulder to shoulder around the palace’s garden, looking at the flowers and harvesting some fruits.

“Well, I’m sure he had his reasons. Just stretch your patience my darling, you know what they say, love is patience” he pats your hand before picking a lemon. “Enough about the prince, I heard you are making quite an impression now. The king is beyond impressed” he was talking about your win, elected student body president. Apparently, it’s a big deal for your father, because, during his stay in royal school, he was elected as president too.

“I didn’t try too much, I think I won because of my popularity and not because of my leadership skills” you once again doubted yourself but of course, your grandfather is here to straighten you up.

“Show them you’re both. Popular and a great leader”

It was always a good talk with your grandfather, but whenever you remember that Hendery is not with you anymore it automatically makes you sad. You missed him. So much.  

ACT 2

But even though you missed Hendery and it’s like he took a part of your heart and brought it with him, life goes on. You faced Senior year and showed everyone your perfect smiles like nothing is bothering you. But at night, when you’re all alone, you just can’t help but look at your pictures with Hendery on your phone and miss him.

Life goes on.

With or without your prince.

You studied day and night, kept your eyes on the prize, and busy yourself until your heart is finally healed. You waited for him of course, you waited long and hard but you can’t wait forever.

As you continue to know yourself, get involved with a lot of organizations in college, your journey has become even more thrilling when you met Lucas. He’s not royalty nor does he came from a rich family, he’s “just a man who’s brave enough to ask a princess on a date” his exact words.

Lucas is a whole new adventure to you. He’s the epitome of new things and new experiences. But your favorite thing about Lucas is, he can make you forget that you’re a princess even just for a few hours. He made you happy every day because he never forgets to tell you that being happy is the most important thing in this world. He loves you with every part of his being. And he’s ready to face your world and be with you in every step until you become queen.

“N-no I don’t want to be king. I can be your butler and still love you for all I care” he covers your naked body while you both come down from your highs. Tonight is one of those nights that you can be with Lucas without having your bodyguard. He was praising you during sex, calling you ‘princess’ or ‘my queen’ whenever he thrust and pushes you on the edge, so you asked him a stupid question if he wants to be king. “I just want to be with you, people may see me as a gold digger once the news that you have a commoner boyfriend comes out, but we both know that’s not true right?”

“Of course, not” you embraced him and apologized for the question, hiding your face on his chest. You feel his big hands caress your back to comfort you and soon plant kisses on your temple. He’s always sweet and gentle like this. If only people would see the kind of person Lucas truly is.

“But what if he comes back? What will happen to us?” he was talking about Hendery. When Lucas knew that you’re arranged to be married to Hendery, he didn’t take it lightly. He was mad but not to you. You didn’t talk for weeks and you’re both heartbroken, but Lucas realized that it's better to love you fiercely now than waste his time worrying about the future.

“I will talk to my father, don’t worry about that. Wong Yukhei don’t you trust me?” you kissed his chest to put him back in the mood and change the subject. Of course, he can’t say no to you.  

After getting your degree in college, you started working for the king and queen, spearheading foundations, and knowing the kingdoms that you’re going to rule someday. Remember when you thought your parents will forget about your existence because they had your sister? Well, that didn’t happen. Your parents were proud of everything you’ve achieved and they wanted your sister to follow in your footsteps.

Slowly, you proved to them that you don’t need a king to rule this kingdom. Introducing Lucas to your parents did not go well at first but eventually, they saw that you and Lucas are happy with each other despite having different worlds.

Still, they want to keep your relationship hidden.

It’s Christmas Eve and you’re all dressed up right now, ready to shake a lot of hands and dance with a bunch of princes and dukes and god know what else but you can’t help but take care of a few things before you enjoy this night. You were signing some last minutes contracts and reading proposals when you heard a soft knock from your door, “S-sorry. Come in” you see your boyfriend dressed up in a tux, looking so handsome. He smiled at you before he enters and closed the door behind him, “well you look dashing” you put your pen down and crossed your arms.

“I’m here to pick you up your majesty, the guests are waiting downstairs and your grandfather-“

“Oh he’s here! Perfect!” you exclaimed and express your excitement upon hearing that your grandfather is here. You haven’t seen him for a very long time and you have lots of stories to tell him. “Oh shit- by the way. Lucas, uhm… Can you zip my dress, I forgot I unzip it because it was uncomfortable. Stupid ball gowns” you said, turning your back to Lucas and waiting for him to take care of your zipper. But before he zips you up, he kisses your exposed shoulders and massaged them.

“Don’t forget to have fun tonight okay? I’ll be watching you like a hawk the whole night- well actually, not you. The men that will dance with you tonight” Because Lucas has no rank or title, he can’t earn a dance with you because it’s against the conditions that your father gave.

“All done your majesty,” he says and stepped back to open the door for you.

Every Christmas Eve, throwing an extravagant ball has been your family’s tradition for centuries. It is known by royalties across the globe and this fancy Christmas party is actually part of your kingdom’s history. Different respective kings, beautiful queens, annoying princes and princesses, dukes and duchess are invited and all are here not only to have fun but also here to talk business with you.

The night goes on, dancing with a few guests before you meet and spend some time with your grandfather. You wanted to whine and complain to your assistant but she’s just doing her job so you shrugged it off. “How many more left?” you asked while waiting for the next Prince to ask to dance, “two more your majesty. Your grandfather is next after this” you smiled and thanked her, giving a bow to the next prince who’s about to dance with you. And the moment you lift your head to meet his eyes, you thought you were dreaming.

For a moment you forgot proper princess etiquette and gave Hendery a tight hug, shocking everyone at your behavior but they’re even more shocked about Hendery’s appearance. ‘The son of the dead king has finally shown himself’ you hear everyone murmur around you but you don’t care. You smiled so big seeing that handsome face again. He kissed your hand and asked you to dance which you accepted gladly, now that Hendery is back and you’re all dressed up wearing your tiara, you feel like a real princess finally meeting his prince in a storybook.

“Where have you been?” you whispered to him.

“I’m sorry I left you like that, I was devastated” he whispers back as you two dance in the middle of the ballroom with the other royalties, trying so hard to hide the excitement. While you were dancing with Hendery, you remember that handsome smile that made your knees weak, his sweet gestures to prove his feelings for you, and your promises to each other.

Is it really true that first love never dies or your love for Hendery was just too strong that it never died?

When Hendery was about to hand you over to your grandfather, your father and mother came out of nowhere with your younger sister on their side. Is it because they’re happy to see Hendery too? Or are they going to press you regarding the arranged marriage again? You cling to your grandfather as you get nervous but careful not to show it. “Ah! Hendery welcome back! How was your time in the army, good?” your father exclaims. So all this time he knew where Hendery is.

“I had a hard time your highness, but I made it back in one piece” Hendery answered and made a small joke that made you all giggle and let out a small laugh. Oh you missed him.

“Hendery, I want you to meet Y/n’s younger sister” you watch him kiss your sister’s hand, “and also your future bride to be”

You were completely taken aback by what you just heard and the words that came into your head were, ‘I thought you were mine’ but you didn’t speak your mind and listened further to what your father is saying. But as you listen more, you feel like your dress was becoming tighter and tighter in every second that you can’t breathe anymore. “She will be your queen in your kingdom, and Y/n will be an independent queen here” your father explained proudly.

“But she’s too young” you pointed at your sister but you see how your sister’s eyes are sparkling. Too late. You thought. You watch her be charmed by Hendery’s visuals, that damn smile captured your sister’s heart in an instant.

“Hendery can wait until his bride is in the right age to be married, right son?”

“Of course your highness, it’s my duty” he answered confidently.

After the unexpected talk, you excused yourself, went to your room, and breathed outside on your balcony. You can’t forget your sister’s face as she looks at the man you used to kiss and you used to love. She has no idea what controversy she will face in the future, she is so young and blinded by infatuation…Or maybe you’re being like this because you’re jealous.

“Believe me I’m just as shock as you are”

A familiar voice made your heart race and your body stiffen in no time. You turned around secretly hoped that you’re wrong, but you will never forget his voice and also how his mere presence makes your heart excited. “How did you get in here?”

You hear him scoff and stood behind you, “We used to make out a lot in your room-and mine too of course. I still remember the way to your room by heart” he looked up the stars to stop himself from looking at you. You looked so beautiful tonight that he can’t stop blushing and admiring you.

You were silent. Mainly because you don’t know what to say and you’re not sure what to feel either.

“It’s going to be fine” with all his courage he tried hugging you like how he used to when you were only teenagers. But you pushed him away and stepped away from him. Hendery felt a slight pang in his heart, he never thought that you could do that to him.

“Were not together now don’t you get it? You were gone for years Hendery, a lot has changed”

“You’re hurting me, this is not our fault we love each other what's wrong with that” he reasons out, trying to lower his voice because someone might hear him.

“Loved. Past tense. My sister likes you and you are arranged to be married to her Hendery” you close your eyes as you remember what happened again earlier.  

“If I have known that life will take you away from me, I shouldn’t have wasted my time and showered you with love and affection when we were young”

With a heavy heart, your first love left you in the cold night with a confused mind.

ACT 3

To make it up with your grandfather, you spend Christmas morning with him while drinking tea by the palace garden and telling him numerous stories about Lucas…and also your talk about Hendery last night.

“Don’t do something stupid that your future self with regret” he says, stirring his coffee and chewing his bread with jam. He was talking about cheating, he didn’t tell you exactly but you get it. “Did you tell your boyfriend already about what you felt upon hearing your sister’s engagement?” You shook your head and see your grandfather get disappointed but he understands that everything that’s happening now is not easy for you.

“He’s away, for now, left first thing in the morning to go to Hong Kong for his family” you felt hopeless again.

“Oh everything will be fine. I’m sure he will understand, that man is wise. I’m rooting for him” he says like Lucas is his son.

“What- really not Hendery?” you let out a laugh because your grandfather is cute.

“Nope. Now, don’t ask me why. Figure it out yourself” he winks and continues to eat his breakfast.

As days go by without Lucas, you and Hendery continue to meet each other accidentally whenever he visits your sister. You’re a busy woman, but your mind seems to have time to think whether they kissed already, hold hands, or admitted their feelings to each other if there's any.

You saw flowers on your way to your office and you thought that maybe it's for your sister, from Hendery and you can’t help but to get envious and jealous. He used to give you flowers back when you were in high school and now… he’s doing it to your sister too.

While you were reviewing proposals, you got a phone call from your personal phone and it's Lucas which you’re very excited to answer. “Hey” you singsong, putting the phone between your ear and neck while you continue to scan through papers.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch, everything okay back there?”

No. You wanted to tell him that you’ve been having these weird feelings towards Hendery. “No, baby. Everything’s fine, I’m working now… As usual- how's everyone there?”

“They miss you. They wanted you to visit next year” he says, breathing deeply before he continues. “Listen, I want to stay here for a little longer. I miss them too you know-“

“And it’s fine! Baby, I understand. You’ve done so much for me already, go and be with your family” you felt guilty for caging Lucas in your country. Even though he’s the one who wanted to stay here, still. You can feel that he’s homesick sometimes.

After working in your office, you went straight to your room and purposely skipped dinner because you knew that Hendery is still here. When you opened your door, the same flowers that you thought Hendery gave to your sister is sitting on your coffee table with a small envelope that has your name on it.

Dear Y/n,

Back when we were in high school, I gave you a single rose for Valentine's day and I told you, “Let’s grow up first”

Now that we're all grown up, and still obviously madly in love with each other, I will not hold myself back from loving you. Not anymore.

I’m sorry for leaving, please give me a chance and meet me at the back of the palace at midnight. I’ll be waiting.

H.

Bold of him to think that you’re still madly in love with him. How can he say that?

You look at the letter as you grow weak and let yourself flop on your couch, face first and still undecided if you’re going. Frustrated and guilty, that’s what you’re feeling ring now. Frustrated because you don’t know what to follow, your heart or your mind. Guilty because your heart says you should go.

At the end of the day, you find yourself walking in the dark on your way to the back of the castle to meet Hendery. Hugging yourself as you cling more in your thin cardigan, trying to keep yourself warm as you feel your heartbeat faster by every second you come closer to the meeting spot. You see Hendery at the back of a thick tree, face illuminated because of his phone screen. “Oh you’re here. Sorry I was about to ring your phone” he admitted.

“Why am I here? What do you want?” You asked in the softest way possible. He saw that you’re shivering and invited you to go around the tree. There you see a blanket and small pillows and the lake was perfectly lit by the moon. What a beautiful view. And while you were admiring the view, you feel him place his jacket around you and motions you to sit on the ground with him.

“Please for once let’s pretend I didn’t leave you. I didn’t want my father to die, I didn’t expect our kingdom to suffer. And you’re the only good thing that’s left to me. So please”

You looked at him for a second that soon turned into minutes. You bit your lower lip and you remember that you weren’t mad at him for leaving, so why are you mad at him now?

Slowly, you accepted the warmth that he offered and sat close to him, sharing the blanket and keeping you close. “You’re here to hear me apologize sincerely” he gulps before he starts talking and explaining why he left, looking into your eyes so you know he’s telling you the truth. He told you that his father’s last will is for him to join the army and to be a soldier because in his father’s eyes he’s not yet ready to be a young king so he didn’t have a choice but to leave.

You were heartbroken while hearing his part. “I was never mad at you for leaving. I was worried about you”

He smiled sweetly at you. The kind of smile that makes your body warm and heart flutter, he pulled you close and you let him. “I know. Mother told me you were looking for me, but she can’t tell you anything. I told her I’m the one who should tell you someday. I’m sorry” he embraced you tightly, his cheeks resting on your shoulders. And right then and there everything is clear to you. You still have feelings for him.

“What are we gonna do now? My sister, Lucas” you asked him as you rake away strands of hair from his face.

“I’m not in love with your sister” he admitted without hesitation.

“But I love Lucas” there’s that guilty feeling again. You feel your heart breaking for Lucas, he doesn’t deserve being cheated on like this.

“I thought you were mine” he whispers. And even if it's a whisper the hurt was obvious from the sound of his voice. He didn’t see it coming. He didn’t think that this will be more complicated than he imagined.

“Funny. I thought the same thing when my father told us you're enggaged to my sister” you admitted and scoffed.

“Give me a chance to win you back. And if you're not coming back to me, just let me be with you for a little longer. I beg you”

There was a moment of silence and Hendery understands that you needed that silence to think, “Okay” you said. And saying ‘okay’ never felt so wrong. You cupped his face and tried to turn this moment around, “what's it like to be away from home?”

“Sad. I think of you every day and of course my family but they get to see me but you... not even a picture just our memories in my head”

Now that Hendery is a prince slash soldier, you remember the Nutcracker story your grandfather used to tell you for bedtime. That’s when you realized that you and Hendery are truly made for each other.

But you have Lucas...

As your night with Hendery continues and makes up for lost time, the emotional reunion turned to giggles and laughs when your time together has ended. He invited you over to his own house for a date since he can’t take you out like he used to, and reminded you that you gave him a chance to win you back, and thanked you.

On the next day, your mind was blanked. You can’t believe that you’re cheating on Lucas and have been refusing to answer his calls.

Days went on like this until you’re not awkward with Hendery anymore and you’re comfortable again around him. He showered you with love, you accept it wholeheartedly. Every day was sweet with Hendery even though you’re both aware of the future consequences but no one seems to care for now.

You go to his place and spend time with each other, whether talking the whole night and telling each other stories, him making you giggle and laugh with your legs on top of his thighs while you both sit on his couch enjoying a glass of wine or whenever you’re busy reading something or you brought a little work at his place and he can easily take your stress away by making you laugh.

Today, you came early and decided to cook for him and have dinner together. You don’t know but Hendery is leaning on the door frame of his kitchen with a flower in his hand, watching you chop some peppers in his kitchen. He felt like he finally won you back. Just seeing you hum while you prepare dinner makes his heart so happy. He then walked slowly and hugged you from behind, resting chin at the top of your shoulders, and showed you the flowers he has for you.

You smiled so big, dropping the knife on the chopping board and turning around to give him a kiss.

That’s your first kiss again.

He was shocked but you did it again. You realized he was trying so hard that he’s slowly being successful in winning you back and you’re actually scared of the future but he makes you happy.

“What? It’s not like we haven’t kissed before” you touched his lips and felt his embrace tightens every second. “Dinner in 30 minutes” you smiled and went back to finish chopping the peppers and finding a nice vase for the flowers he gave.

After dinner, a few glasses of wine, cheese, and grapes, you and Hendery are buzzed and talking about work as prince and princesses while enjoying the view from his couch. The lights are turned down low and you didn’t even notice at first but the mood has been making you horny even though your topic was stressful and your minds are clouded with alcohol. You don’t know what came into your head but you sat on his lap with lidded eyes, touching his body feeling his hard rocked abs through his white dress shirt.

He giggles and laughed at you. He’s so fucking handsome when he does that. “Seriously you have to stop you will embarrass yourself in the next morning,” he told you to stop but he fixed the way he sits and made sure you were comfortable on top of him. He teased you more, smiling so handsomely and making your heart flutter.

“I'm not that drunk just buzzed. Want me to prove it?” You challenged with a flirty tone that turns him on.

“Mhmm. Okay,” he tilts his head and waited for this proof you were saying.

“I still remember how we sealed our promises with a kiss. Like that day when we promised to be each other’s first and last” your fingers went up to his hair, ruffling his soft black hair and massaging his scalp.

You don’t know what happened but the mood changes and he’s avoiding your eyes. ”I’m sorry,” he says.

“No no don’t be, you’re here now make it up to me” you kissed his neck while he gets drunk even more because of your kisses. Your hands are placed on his neck like you’re telling him you still belong to each other, rolling your hips slowly to make him horny as much as you are.

“Did you have sex with anyone already?” his question made you stop what you’re doing to him and pulling away from the kiss to look at him, you thought he didn’t like what’s happening. But to your surprise his lips went to your neck, kissing you softly but full of lust. You feel his warm tongue just below your jaw and it felt great.

“Lucas, how about you?” You moaned out, shamefully.

Usually, his heart will hurt whenever you mention Lucas, but he’s the one kissing you now. So instead of getting hurt, he smirked. “A couple of girls. Life can be stressful I need an adult stress release. Any kinks?”

“Not that I know of? You?”

He stopped and looked at you to tell you the story. “Well remember when we were making out and I accidentally saw your breasts?” you nod at him, “I think I developed some kind of breast kink and I always imagine that I’m having sex with you instead of a stranger” he admitted and looked at you clothed breast right now. “That's how much I miss you” he placed a gentle kiss on your lips and went back to leaning comfortably on the couch. He got shy but he can’t stop looking at you.

To be honest your heart swells knowing that he desperately wants you like that. As quickly as you can, you untuck your blouse and removed it in front of the prince. “You can experience the real thing tonight “ you intertwine your hand with his and slowly placed it on your breast.

Breathing heavily. Both of you. You’re like teenagers who are just about to have sex for the first time.

He sat up to meet your lips and kiss you the way you deserved to be kissed, slowly you feel his hand travel to your back to unclasp your bra. You removed and fed his lust, revealing your breast to him for the first time. Hendery was so nervous that his hands are shaking when he removed strands of hair away from your face and held you on your shoulders, slowly he lowered your body on his and started kissing your collar bones and chest before he proceeds to your breast.

It was quiet and all he can hear is your moans and the sound of his wet kisses. You wanted to tell him that his lips feel great against your skin, and simply tell him to fuck you already. When his mouth finally reached your hard nipples and bit them softly, you parted your lips and your arms swings around him and push his head to your breast even more. You noticed he knows how to use his tongue, you figured he has been doing this to someone else for years and years while the whole truth is he always wanted to do it to you. The way he flicked his tongue brings you back to reality and when he sucks your nipples good your grip on his hair tightens and when that happens he bites your nipples again to make you shiver. This man is good.  

He placed his hands just below your boob area to hold you still while he does whatever he wants to your breast. Sucking, pinching, bitting, and kneading. Everything felt good and your moans are good proof. With his strength, he got up from the couch and carried you to his room while you kiss with lust. He lay you down on his king-sized bed and kissed your body down while unbuttoning your pants and pulling them down until you’re only wearing your panties. Hendery then unbuttoned his dress shirt in between your spread legs, kneeling in front of you, stripping until he’s only wearing his boxers briefs. He situates his body on top of you grinding on your clothed private parts, hands all over each other’s body. He then went back to kissing your nipples and sucking them but little did you know Hendery is just distracting you while his hands are slowly coming down inside your panties.

With a great shock, you closed your eyes and parted your lips as you feel Hendery’s cold fingers slide up and down on your wet slit while his mouth is still sucking your nipples. It was a whirlwind of feelings, everything felt good, and seeing Hendery enjoy turns you on too. By the time you had your first orgasm, shaking and body so sensitive with swollen nipples, Hendery was kissing you softly and asking you in the most innocent way if you’re okay. The sound of his giggles makes you calm, the way he whispers soft praises beside your ear while his hands roam freely around your body. Truth is he’s genuinely happy right at this moment because he doesn’t need to imagine anymore.

He went back to kissing your body down until he reaches your wet core and licks it up and down for a while before he lines his cock. In between your widely spread legs, you watch Hendery lick you good and feel him moan from time to time. “Hendery” you called him, kneeling in between your legs in an instant, flashing his beautiful body to you. His skin is flawless, strong arms, perfect abs, and of course, fucking beautiful smile. Everything about him makes you weak right now that you just opened your legs, reach for hard cock, and line it to your entrance yourself. “Woah” he giggled and stopped you, “Okay calm down, I’ll fuck you good I promise” he pumped his cock in front of you and lines it immediately just how you want it and slowly enters you. He wasn’t big like Lucas but he kept his promise, he fucked you good.

So good that you asked for more as you grip his Egyptian cotton sheets and let your body be dragged with every hard thrust he give you.

So good that you asked him to go slower because you don’t want it to end yet.

So good that you asked him to cum inside you and asked for another round.

On your third orgasm, your hole is dripping with mixes of your cum and Hendery’s while the handsome prince is kissing your neck as you come down from your high. “I love you” he whispers but he was too late, you were sleeping soundly already, arms wrapped around his neck. He smiled and kissed you one last time before he pulls out and cleans you up.

He didn’t sleep that night, he just watched you sleep beside him. Let you cling to him in the middle of the night, watch you roll in his bed and expose your body, but of course, he’s quick to cover you again. And when the time comes, he wakes you with kisses on your shoulders, embracing you tightly and kissing you more.

“Wake up” you hear him whisper and you try to open your eyes the moment he told you so. You see his window, it was still dark so you closed your eyes again. “Want to watch the sunrise with me? You’re going to love it” he went down from his bed and opened his curtains so you can have a full view of the sky while you enjoy your comfort in his bed. You sat up and waited for him to join you again and stay warm together. Slowly, you see how the sky became pitch black to deep blue to light blue until you can see the pretty view outside his house. It was calming. He was holding your hand the whole time.

After watching the sunrise with him he fell asleep while holding your hand and you think he’s cute for having a tight grip even though he’s sleeping. While he was sleeping, it’s now your turn to admire his handsome features and watch him sleep before you start your day and make breakfast.

You hate to admit it but it looks like he has completely won you over.

“You look good in my dress shirt” he greets you good morning and kissed you on your temple while you set the table. You feel his hands in your hips, slowly coming down to your butt, and realized that you’re only wearing his dress shirt and thin panties. He still can’t believe that this is all happening, “are you real?” He whispers.

“Yes. Now come on, I have a meeting with the parliament. Need to go home and get ready” you eat some fruits as you scan your schedule for the day and there you see it and completely missed it.

Lucas went home last night. And you left your personal phone in your car. Fuck you said to yourself but didn’t show it to Hendery.

Leaving this morning became harder than you expected and you spent a total of 20 minutes kissing and flirting with Hendery before you finally open the door.

You went on with your day and made an excuse to Lucas as to why you didn’t pick him up at the airport last night. You were at your office with stacks and stacks of paper works and you weren’t even acting stressed when he came in because you were indeed stressed with everything.

“Oh baby, I’m really sorry” you greet him with a kiss and left everything on your desk. Lucas saw how stressed you are so he understood immediately and didn’t even bother asking. “You’re coming home to me tonight right? I missed you” he added and pouted like the big baby that he is.

“Uh-huh. Of course yes, I’m all yours” you smiled and he hugged you so tight before he leaves you to work again.

“Of course. You’re always mine” he said and kissed you goodbye.

The nights are cold for Hendery when Lucas got back because he can’t get a hold of you. No text, no call, no email. No nothing. And once again, he was heartbroken and he felt like he’s losing you again.

When he visited your sister a week since the last time he saw you, Hendery saw you with Lucas and didn’t even think of taking another glance. He had all these emotions ball up in his chest and he needed to release them.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were visiting today” your sister was surprised and invited him into her room. When she turned your back at him, he saw your figure in your sister. He’s back to imagining girls to be you, he’s back to that sick habit of his. But he can't help it. Effortlessly, he flirted with your sister, and surprisingly your sister was horny. Very horny for Hendery. One thing led to another and the next thing he knows he’s fucking her hard from behind kissing her shoulders and imagining that it’s you.

“What’s that noise” you murmur to Lucas while you were having a nap with him. Lucas giggled and whispered back, “I think Prince Hendery paid her a visit and... you know...” he was giggling and keeping you close to him as he went back to his nap, completely clueless that you’re hurting.

Everything that you and Hendery built from the past few days falls down when you came to his house and had your first fight.

ACT 4

“You didn’t call! Or texted that he’s already back you just left me hanging!”

“And that’s a good reason to fuck my sister?”

“It just happened!”

“Bullshit!” You shouted back. Louder than before, completely overpowering his shouts. With all his bravery, he got you a glass of water, came closer to you, and caressed your shoulders to keep you calm.

“I fucked up and I’m sorry, please,” he says sincerely.

Then you realized something.

“You don’t have to say sorry to me. It’s okay if you and my sister fucked because someday you will be married to each other. Were the ones cheating”

He listened to every word you said and begged you to take it back because he’s losing you again. When you finally said, “let’s end this Hendery. Do you want to have more fights like this in the future? What will you feel if I tell you that me and Lucas fucked last night-“

It was like thunder, disturbing the silence of his quiet house when he grabbed the glass of water and threw it in one corner.

“Exactly my point. We don’t belong to each other anymore. I’m sorry”

“Y/n. Please-“ he begged once again but you just repeated everything you said and left him.

The end.

It was the end of your story with Hendery.

But just as you thought that you’re done handling one heartbreak for the day, you’re wrong. Lucas called to tell you the news that your grandfather had a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital.

After everything that happened on that day, you never made peace with Hendery and never talked to him again. Lucas saw you at your lowest and took care of you every day after the funeral and never left your side.

Months passed by quickly and Hendery is staying in your palace as per your sister’s request and continue to ignore each other for safety. Sometimes you greet each other for formality but never as friends and as past lovers. Lucas is not stupid to not see what’s happening.

Two months before your coronation day, you were sitting on your throne with your leg up and pouting as you’re thinking if you’re really ready to be a queen. You see Lucas enter the hall but you did not move an inch. He sat on the cold floor in front of you, reaching for your hand and kiss it.

“I miss him, I wish he could see me as a queen” tears started to fall but Lucas is quick to dry them.

“He saw you as a queen already even when you were only a little girl” you understand what he said and you’re thankful for him for not leaving you at your lowest and choosing to be with you even though he found out about you and Hendery. “So... I wanted to do this, while you’re still you. And not...the queen” he says awkwardly and pulls out a small red velvet box.

But you sit properly and stopped him from opening it and saying the question that will change your life, “how can you stay to a woman who cheats?”

“Your grandfather told me love is patient. I had a meaningful talk with him, you’re right he’s wise. He told me you love me and he said if one day you do something stupid and wrong, which turns out you did... He told me ‘check your heart if you still love her, and if you still do marry her and don’t ever let her go again’"

Tears started to fall from your eyes again. “So will you marry me Y/n. Let me be the one to dry your tears forever?” He let out an awkward laugh, nervous about the next thing that will come out of your mouth.

“Yes, of course, yes” you cup his face, and this time you’re the one to dry his tears away.

Little did you know that Hendery heard everything. And he is beyond heartbroken.

[thkingslayer]

jonsa fic rec list

Happy New Years!!! Firstly, I hope you are all safe and healthy. Secondly, as many have most likely said to you already, I hope 2021 is much better for you/us. Wishing you all happiness, health, and everything else nice! Cheers!

Now... I’ve been supposed to share this fic rec for the longest (no, really) time, but I haven’t gotten around to it. So... here’s a list of fics that helped get me through 2020. And I mean that. I don’t know about you, but I’ve gone stir crazy and when I needed a distraction or something to entertain, these fics were here. These fics are definitely all over the place, but hopefully you like that! Thank you to all the writers and readers!

Please note not all fics are completed. Remember to check tags. Enjoy!

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white knuckles [T] by ganymede_elegy | 9.5k

His hands are numb and white knuckled around the grip of his bow and he tries to tell himself that he has nothing to prove. If he loses, it means nothing. If it turns out that he is a terrible shot and that deer and rabbits are simply very easy to hunt, it does not matter. He has no house to represent, no honor to defend. He is no one and it means nothing if he does poorly.

His left hand checks, for the hundredth time, to see if the ribbon is still tied around his right wrist and he curses himself for it. He should've taken it off last night. Immediately, his eyes go to the crowd and it only takes him a moment to find her copper hair among the audience.

Wait But Don’t Ask [M] by @justadram | 59.5k

Jon considered asking Sansa out, but she beats him to the punch with an even bigger question, putting on hold any possibility of something more between them.

Shock You Like You Won’t Believe [M] by @chispas-and-broken-bindings | 19.2k

Sansa is homesick. When she spends the night at her brother's apartment to escape the dorms, she might have picked the wrong bed...or is it the right one?

A Real Truth [E] by ALCzysz17 | 13.9k

Joffrey promises her that he will show the traitors of Westeros, Robb Stark and Stannis Baratheon a real truth to the spreading rumor of his mother’s incestuous relationship with her twin brother. She knew it would be bad, but when he manages to produce her half-brother, Jon Snow in King’s Landing, weeks later, she never actually knew how truly bad it could get.

Mine for a Season [M] by @vivilove-jonsa | 17.1k

Colonel Jon Targaryen is a single man in possession of a good fortune who claims no interest in finding himself a wife. With his war wounds, he thinks no young lady would want him anyway for anything beyond the allure of his pocketbook.

Fortunately and unbeknownst to him, Fate has chosen to find a wife for him and will even deliver her right to his doorstep.

Taking on the responsibility of shepherding a young lady about for a Season in London is not at all what Jon had wished to do but he had accepted out of a sense of familial duty. However, once he meets Sansa again after only having met her years ago as a child, he may not consider it a duty so much as a torment.

Something wicked this way comes [T] by @dreams-for-spring | 93.6k

Sansa tries to tug her hand from the old woman’s grasp, but the woman is deceptively strong and holds her tight within her grip. She can feel a tingle down her spine, as though ice is melting and dripping down her back. “I’m not a wolfgirl,” she protests, “that’s my sister.”

The old woman tilts her head, and for a second the waning light catches her wrinkled, pockmarked face. "You are what I’ve seen, girl, and I’ve seen a wolf. Larger than any wolf should be, wild as the true north; white as snow, as the bark of a weirwood tree.”

--

AU where Maggy the Frog comes to Winterfell ahead of the King and Queen and gives Sansa a prophecy of her own.

run away with my love [M] by @jonsaslove | 71.6k

“Bran,” Jon says, one word and voice barely above a whisper.

Sansa takes a sip from her cup and sets it down, “I know.”

--

Or;

When Bran arrives in Winterfell’s Great Hall mere moments after Jon declares that he is going to Dragonstone, it changes everything. Mostly for Jon and Sansa, but for the rest of Westeros as well.

The Dragon Prince [E] by usuallysunny | 16.3k

Sansa always knew she would be Queen someday. King Rhaegar would ride into Winterfell with his son, mending a rift decades old, and Sansa's children would rule from the Wall to the mountains of Dorne.

Winter dawns and Rhaegar arrives to offer his son.

The only problem is... it's the wrong one.

The gods have fashioned us for love [E] by @myrish-lace-love | 26.2k

Sansa Stark had dreamed of the day her red omega mark would appear. It would gradually shade into a soft golden color over the course of a year. Then, she'd be ready to marry an alpha from a great house with a matching golden mark - if a match could be found. Not every alpha and omega pair shared them, of course - her mother and father hadn't, and they still loved each other very much. But Sansa was a young woman who loved stories and songs. She was certain the day would come when Maester Luwin would smile at her and tell her he'd received a raven with word of her mate who shared the very same mark as hers.

But when Sansa's mark arrived, the gods played a cruel joke on her. Maester Luwin had already recorded a match for her in his book - Jon Snow. And since he was within the castle walls, she and Jon would go into heat that very night.

What happened next was a matter of survival.

your halo slipping down [E] by @woodswit | 36.6k

When Arya disappears while hunting Sansa's stalker, Sansa knows she's got to take matters into her own hands. Her first move is to go north--

--to Jon Snow, who has just been released from prison. Jon Snow, the boy in black, is her last hope.

*******

[fangroyal]

#3 What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

Fun Meta Asks for Writers

Adding the link to the ask game at the start this time, 'cause this is gonna be a long one, y'all. 😂

Where do I even begin? First of all, @angie-leena​, thank you so SO much for sending me this ask! It was the kick in the ass I needed to get me to actually write this scene, and for that I’m extremely grateful. I still don’t know if I’m entirely happy with the finished product, but it exists now, and that’s something.

So some of you may remember (if anyone actually follows my ramblings, haha!) that I’ve been simultaneously complaining about and obsessing over this gigantic WIP I’ve had since fucking March 2019. Nearly two and a half years have passed since I put the first word to paper, and oh how I’ve loved to cry out in frustration about how I have about 12k written on the stupid thing and yet not a single scene finished.

AT LEAST

NOT UNTIL TODAY

YES, I’VE DONE IT. I’ve finished a scene on this amazing, wonderful, and incredibly stupid WIP, and I could just cry.

FYI for anyone who doesn’t know what the fuck I’m talking about (which I’m sure is everyone, ‘cause I don’t expect anybody to remember this insane thing I’ve been shouting about all this time, LOL): this is the Slytherin My Gryffindor WIP. Yes, that is a working title. 😅 I will find a better one.....some day.......Ron/Draco is the main pair, but there will also be plenty of others sprinkled in the background.

Anyway, about this ask and that context I haven’t been arsed to write yet...

Context required in order to understand this scene 😂:

Fred Lives AU

The Muggle world and the Wixen world has kind of mixed in recent years, and it’s very common for magical people to be using Muggle technology

The Weasley twins have opened a second shop in Diagon Alley...selling sex toys (yes, really)

Their first original product line issssssss..........dildoes shaped like the Weasley brothers’ own dicks (and a fleshlight kind of thing for Ginny)

Yes this is crack!fic (but, like, also not???)

Ron has been made general manager of the shop and is there all the time, as they’re incredibly busy

Draco wants 👏 that 👏 D 👏, but is worried about Ron finding out, so keeps coming into the shop randomly hoping he won’t be there (and of course he always is)

Eventually there’s a day where Ron’s in the backroom, Charlie’s visiting and helping out at the register, and when Ron emerges, Charlie informs him that Draco Malfoy has just run in and bought Ron’s dildo

Cue Ron being incredibly turned on by this notion

So that pretty much brings us up-to-speed for this scene - it’s been a few days now, and Ron’s been trying to figure out a way to contact Draco to talk to him about the whole thing, since they never became friends or anything after the war and don’t regularly talk unless they’re just seeing each other around

The fic is meant to touch on, like...fame in the aftermath of the war (i.e. why anyone would be interested in sex toys modelled after the Weasley siblings in the first place)

Ron has evolved from his teenage self and grown to hate the fame - it prevents him from being able to date, because the press can never let him keep anything private

After this scene, the fic will focus on Ron and Draco developing a sexual - and eventually romantic - relationship (originally under the guise of “testing out” other products from the shop together)

They will try their best to keep their relationship a secret, but, like...everyone knows 😘😘😘

Also Draco is a model in this one (not important for this scene, but just thought you might want to know 😂)

In addition, some warnings/content to make note of before reading:

NC-17 (smut incoming!)

Technology circa 2005

Phone sex

Semi-public sex

Sex toys

Both Ron and Draco are a little drunk (but very consenting!)

Crack taken way too seriously

Of course, this hasn't been betaed or Britpicked, so I apologize for how very rough it is right now, lol. It will likely be a little (or a lot!) different if I ever actually finish this whole fucking fic and post it later on. I am treating this scene like a “sneak peek” of the fic, because I definitely do still want to try to finish it someday...

HOLY SHIT, I had a LOT more to say about it than I thought. 😅 So anyway. Scene under the cut.

Friday night at the Dragon's Head was packed. It took a bit of initiative, but Ron, Seamus, and Dean finally managed to snag them all a table in the back corner, hoarding the extra seats till Harry and Neville finally arrived, trailed closely by Ginny and Parkinson ― who were curiously short one blond wizard.

Ron tried not to think about it. He bought the first round with Harry, listening to him chat about the recent Puddlemere match against the Magpies. They ordered nibbles for the table. Ron munched on chips, his heart skipping every time the door opened across the room and another few patrons trickled in.

He was on his third pint of the evening when he started getting antsy. He sipped his Simison, using the light smoke curling around the rim of the glass to discreetly glance around the pub, hoping to spot a familiar head of blond hair in the crowd. His foot tapped impatiently on the floor.

"Is he coming, then?"

Ron's head snapped to attention. Ginny checked the door as well before turning back to Parkinson.

"Who?" Neville asked, snagging a vinegar-soaked chip from the bowl in the center of the table.

"Malfoy," Ginny said, craning her neck to see her girlfriend's screen.

Parkinson tapped away on her mobile, shaking her head. "No. Says he's already curled up with a bottle of wine and a good book, and doesn't fancy getting all done up."

Fucking hell. Ron drained the dregs at the bottom of his glass. It wasn't often Malfoy joined them on a mostly-Gryffindor outing ― not unless Parkinson could convince him. Somehow, Ron felt he should've known it wouldn't be in the cards tonight. Conversation pivoted again, and Ron ran his fingers up the sides of his empty pint, thinking.

At some point, Seamus and Harry set off to get another round, and Ginny hurried away with them after a quick peck to Parkinson's cheek. Neville and Dean had gotten into a chat about proper Mimbulus mimbletonia care, and Ron saw his chance. He could feel his heart start to thud in his chest as he cleared his throat, raising his voice to catch her attention.

"Parkinson?"

She turned back from watching Ginny leave, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Yes?"

"Think you could give me Malfoy's number?"

The smirk she gave him in response made his hands shake a little as they drummed against the tabletop.

"Whatever for?"

Ron stared her down, knowing full well any excuse he told her would never be enough. Parkinson's expression was predatory ― as if she already knew the answer anyway. He waited for her to comment, bracing himself.

To his surprise, she instead dug her mobile back out of her handbag.

She turned the screen towards him, and he typed the number directly into the dialer on his phone. He waited a few minutes until everyone ― Parkinson included ― had moved on to other things and forgotten about him, and then slipped from the table.

Ron shouldered his way through the crowd to the loo, pushing inside and locking the door behind him. It was a small room, hardly bigger than a broom closet. There was a toilet and a sink, a grimy mirror hanging above it, and a dim ceiling lamp that barely lit the space.

Ron backed up to one side of the room and slumped against the wall. He gripped the phone in clammy hands. Those pints had picked a perfect moment to hit him all at once. Ron blinked away the creeping dizziness, staring down at the numbers glowing dauntingly on the tiny screen. He'd been unable to get it out of his mind for days ― the image of Malfoy riding his dildo ― and now that he had a way to contact him, he was frozen. The leaky faucet dripped, the sound maddening as it mingled with the rush of blood in his ears. This was stupid. This was so bloody stupid.

He hit call.

Ron held his breath, cupping the phone to his ear. The line rang and rang, until he started to realize he didn't have a plan B. What if Malfoy didn't answer? What if he had to leave a voicemail? What would he even say? He should've just texted him, damn it.

Then, suddenly, the ringing stopped. There was rustling and a mumbled, "Bloody useless thing." Then, louder, "Yes?"

"Malfoy?"

"Yes, this is ― Weasley?"

Malfoy sounded surprised. Ron breathed out gradually, his heartbeat slowing with it. Malfoy's voice was clear and present on the other end. No looking back. He tried to think of something to say, and only came up with one thing.

"Haven't seen you round the shop yet this week."

"Don't tell me that's really why you called." Malfoy sighed, trying to sound put-upon, but Ron could hear the hint of nerves underneath. "If you must know, that would be because I found what I'd been looking for."

"I know."

There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end. For a moment, Ron thought Malfoy might hang up. But then he cursed quietly. "Damn that brother of yours. Incorrigible."

So it really was true. Charlie hadn't just been taking the piss. Ron felt a warmth flare up in his belly, spreading down to the tops of his thighs.

"Try growing up with him. And the twins? Now that's a real nightmare."

"I was trying for discreet, but you were always there."

Ron leaned further back against the wall, staring up at the dark ceiling above. He thought of all those times Malfoy had dropped in at the shop, only to hurry out again if Ron ever came too close. Malfoy had jumped at the chance when Ron had been called away to the back that day.

Malfoy cleared his throat. "Well. You know. So what, then? Looking to mock me for it?"

"You always assume the worst with me. Why is that?" Although Ron couldn't exactly blame him. He hadn't given Malfoy much else to go on in years past. Neither of them had. "No. No, I was calling because…" Why had he been calling? It had seemed such a natural thing when he'd asked Parkinson for Malfoy's number not five minutes ago. "I was curious. If there was, er." He waved his free hand, searching for the words. Nothing sounded right. "Any particular reason for it."

Malfoy laughed ― a short bark of a sound. "I mean, obviously yes. It's a sex toy, Weasley."

Ron snorted, taken aback. "That's not ―"

"Actually, I thought it'd make a nice statement in the middle of my dining table. It would be an excellent conversation piece for dinner parties."

"For fuck's sake, Malfoy, I didn't ―"

A chuckle rumbled through from the other end of the line. There was that snark again. Merlin, it made Ron hot, his skin blooming from his collar up to his ears. He chewed his lip, pulling back the grin that threatened to spread across his face.

"I only meant ― was there a reason? That you'd picked mine?"

The line suddenly went quiet. Ron had to check his phone just to make sure the call hadn't dropped.

When Malfoy finally replied, his voice was soft, uncertain. "What would possess you to call and ask me that?"

Ron breathed in slowly, his hand tapping an incoherent rhythm on his thigh. "Well, I'm a bit pissed, to be honest," he admitted, still feeling the slight burn the Simison had left in his throat.

Malfoy didn't say anything more at first. The lamp above buzzed as the faucet continued to drip. Ron could hear the noise from the pub pressing up against the other side of the door.

Then, Malfoy said, "Maybe there was."

Ron felt his heart jump into his throat. "Was what?"

"A reason why I bought it," Malfoy said slowly, deliberately. "Figure it out, Weasel."

Oh, bloody hell. Ron took a shaky breath. Every nerve felt like it was on fire.

"And...how was it?" Ron heard himself ask as if from very far away.

Even over the din of the music beyond the bathroom door, he could hear Malfoy swallow. "It was good."

"Oh, ta." Ron chuckled despite himself.

"No, I mean...Bugger." It was nice hearing Malfoy so flustered. A rare occurrence, and one that the little fluttering pixie in Ron's stomach very much wanted to repeat. "It was brilliant, alright? Happy?"

Brilliant. The word tingled down Ron's spine. For some reason, he couldn't wipe the smile from his face. Bloody hell, was this really happening? He thought of fleeting insults thrown in the school corridors all those years ago ― then he thought of a night just a few months ago, the look in Malfoy's eyes as Ron told him about the shop.

"You wrote a song about me once, if I remember correctly," Ron said, feeling deliriously happy.

"I suppose I did." Malfoy sighed.

Ron's eyes flicked to the door, to the noise of the crowd beyond. "Why didn't you want me to know?"

"Oh, please, Weasley," Malfoy said bitterly. "Pick a reason."

"I know, but ―" Ron tried to argue, but Malfoy cut him off.

"You don't owe me anything. It would be incredibly unfair for me to expect you to be interested in return."

Ron supposed that was fair enough. He'd had similar feelings towards Malfoy until very recently.

"I would be, though. I mean ― I am."

Saying the words out loud gave them a weight Ron hadn't felt before. He let them roll off his tongue, flattened the tip of it along his lips as he thought about flashes of icy blond hair, high cheekbones, and long fingers swirling around the rim of a glass. He thought of the moment he'd finally realized Malfoy had been looking back.

"Oh." Malfoy paused, seeming surprised by that revelation. "Good to know."

Malfoy fidgeted. Ron listened intently, hearing the breath he released and the scrape of his fingers against his mobile.

"You wouldn't ― ah." Malfoy caught himself, and Ron waited for him to continue, his ears ringing. "Would you want to…?" Malfoy trailed off, finishing his thought with a scoff.

"Would I want to what ― oh."

Oh.

Ron swallowed hard. He wanted to believe Malfoy was asking him what he thought he was asking him, but even after everything, it was almost too good to be true. The long stretch of awkward silence on the other end told him he was right, though, and that made him jittery, his hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck.

"I could be reading too much into this," Malfoy muttered.

"No, no, definitely not. I mean." Ron licked his lips, his mouth suddenly feeling far too dry. "I just don't want you to think I expect this."

Malfoy made a sound, and Ron could practically feel him rolling his eyes on the other end of the line.

"Oh, so you don't ring up every person who buys a model of your cock and ask them how they enjoyed it?"

"What? No, of course not!" Ron stopped, realizing, and laughed at himself. "You're joking. That was a joke."

"Terribly clever, this one."

A sudden jiggling of the door handle made Ron jump, almost dropping his mobile in the process.

"Occupied!"

He fumbled with the phone, his heart thudding wildly. When he put it back to his ear, Malfoy was laughing. The sound made Ron feel weak in the knees.

"Where are you?" Malfoy asked, still snickering.

"In the loo at the Dragon's Head."

"Oh, of course." Malfoy sucked his teeth contemplatively. "Hang on. Is there anyone in there with you?"

Another frustrated turn of the door handle.

"It's a single."

"Good." Malfoy lowered his voice conspiratorially. "Do you want me to use it?"

Ron pressed his hand flat against the door, waiting until he heard the bloke give a huff and storm off. "Use what?"

"Your dildo, Weasley."

The silken drawl of Malfoy's voice spread like gooseflesh across Ron's skin. "Right now?" he asked incredulously, although he was already half hard at the thought.

"I could give you an exclusive product review. Unless you don't want to."

"No, I do!" Ron replied quickly, and Malfoy laughed again, making him blush.

"Eager, are we?"

"Yes." Ron passed a hand over his face, trying to laugh as well, but it came out shaky. Merlin, it had been all he could think about for the past few days. Still, he'd never imagined Malfoy would offer it outright. "Just didn't take you for the phone sex type."

Malfoy hummed. "You caught me in a randy mood. Now how do I ― ah, right."

Ron assumed he'd been put on speakerphone, as there was now an echo. He dug out his wand for a moment and cast a quick Silencio on the bathroom. It was a wonder how he had the brain power to spare, when all the blood in his body was suddenly rushing to his cock. He could hear Malfoy fumbling for something on the other end.

"Where are you?" Ron asked in return, trying to distract himself from the heady thrum of anticipation.

"In bed. Naked," Malfoy added with a hint of a smirk in his voice. Ron groaned, shutting his eyes against the image of Malfoy stretched out on soft sheets, hard and waiting for him. Merlin, had he been naked the whole time they were talking? Ron pressed the heel of his palm to the crotch of his jeans.

Malfoy went silent for a moment, until there was a faint intake of breath. His bed creaked distantly in the background.

Ron licked his lips, cupping his hand around the solid, hot line of his cock under his trousers. "Are you prepping yourself?"

"Of course." Malfoy breathed out steadily, the bed creaking again. "You're bigger than I thought you'd be. Although I'd always wondered."

Fucking hell. Ron arched against his hand. Was he really going to get his cock out in a pub toilet? The last shred of his resolve melted away when he heard Malfoy moan, low and guttural, a sound that shot straight through Ron, all the way to his toes. He imagined Malfoy laying back, his knees bent up, and slick fingers down between his legs, pressing in and out of his puckered hole. Ron was switching the phone to his left hand before he could give it a second thought. He flicked open the button on his jeans and pushed his pants down to hook under his balls, taking himself in hand.

Ron rolled his hand down over his length. Malfoy's breath hitched, and he cursed, the bed shifting with him. Ron caught his lip between his teeth, wondering how many fingers he had in him. He imagined himself leaning over Malfoy on the bed, licking a hot stripe along his neck as his hand worked him open, his thighs falling open as he settled between them.

"Fuck, I needed this," Malfoy breathed. Ron moaned, pulling his foreskin back and rubbing over the weeping head of his cock.

Malfoy muttered a Cleansing charm, and then a drawer was pulled roughly open nearby. Ron heard Malfoy pick up the phone, moving and setting it down again as he bounced on the bed, adjusting himself.

"Are you ―?" Ron wanted to ask, but he couldn't finish the thought, left hand gripping the phone hard as he tried to steady himself.

"Yes, gods."

Ron paused, listening as Malfoy shifted and panted on the other end. He didn't have to ask when it was fully in. He knew the moment Malfoy's breath faltered, the gasp he gave sending shivers down Ron's spine.

Malfoy huffed, the sound so loud to Ron's ears as the whole world funneled down to a point, to this moment as he listened to Malfoy move the toy inside of himself. He moaned, and Ron thought he could hear the squelch of lube on the other end of the line as it entered him.

"Talk to me, Weasley."

Malfoy sounded wrecked. It was enough to make Ron's toes curl just to hear it. It was almost too much to handle ― the idea of Draco Malfoy being thoroughly fucked out by a dildo modelled after Ron's own cock. Ron's head thunked back against the wall. His hand trembled a little as he began stroking himself again.

"Get on your knees for me," he said softly.

Malfoy swore. Ron heard him flip over, his panting breaths suddenly closer to the receiver. In his mind, he could see Malfoy bent over the bed, arse in the air and cheek pressed against the mattress, lips rosy and parted. He imagined himself knelt behind Malfoy, hands gripping his slender hips.

"There's, uh." Ron swallowed. "There's a self-shagging feature. If you want. The spell's ―"

"Oh, we're well acquainted."

"Fuck," Ron moaned. No way he was going to last like this. He rocked his hips, thrusting into the tight circle of his fist. Malfoy sounded like he was trying to collect himself, even as his voice broke on the last word. Ron couldn't begin to explain why that aroused him so much, but he didn't care, already speeding up his hand as it flew over his cock.

Malfoy cast the spell, and Ron felt his cry as the toy began to move on its own. The bed gave a jolt under Malfoy's weight. He gasped again, and Ron heard his fingers scrambling across the sheets.

Ron could almost see it. He imagined Malfoy's bowed back, his knees slipping and spreading apart, his toes curling. The bed creaked with each movement. A dildo of Ron's own making, Malfoy arching back onto it as it fucked him down onto the mattress. Merlin, he should've known Malfoy would take it so well, his eyes rolling back as he listened to the sounds Malfoy made as it thrust into him.

Ron closed his eyes and felt like he was sitting in the room, watching the whole show, watching a copy of his cock pound into Malfoy again and again. The pub outside the bathroom door fell away from him, and all he could focus on was Malfoy's voice and his hand on his own cock.

"Tell me how it feels," Ron choked out, wanting to hear it, see it, touch it, to watch Malfoy unravel under Ron's hands and cock, to capture each cry with his tongue.

Malfoy groaned. "So ― good ―"

"Tell me," Ron rasped again, thrusting his hips forward into his hand. "Tell me ― ah ― how good it is."

"It's so ―" Malfoy cried out, his hands skittering over the sheets. "So good ― so big ― I ―"

"Fucking hell, Malfoy."

At that point, Ron didn't know if he wanted to be watching the toy fuck Malfoy or if he wanted to take over for it. Was he really getting jealous of a dildo? He wished he was there. He wanted to tell Malfoy as much, but he couldn't manage it, instead moaning loudly as he felt his balls begin to draw up against him.

"Fuck, Weasley, you're gonna make me come," Malfoy whined, his posh accent slipping. 

Holy shit, and that was what did it. Ron made a gut-punched sound, his wrist flicking over the head of his cock. He was coming almost before he'd even realized. He barely had the presence of mind to do anything about it before the first spurt had dribbled onto the floor. He pushed off the wall and lent forward, pumping the remainder into the sink. He heard Malfoy swear, and Ron slumped back against the wall again, listening as he came apart with a shuddering cry.

The line went quiet once more. Ron rested his head on the tiles behind him, closing his eyes, holding his softening cock. For a long time, all he could hear was Malfoy breathing on the other end, his own heartbeat equally loud in his ears.

"I liked that. A lot."

Eloquent as always. Ron half expected for Malfoy to say just that, but instead he heard a very soft chuckle ― and then, quietly, "So did I."

Now that his heart rate was gradually slowing, the noise of the club outside wormed its way back in, reminding Ron of where he was, and what he'd just done. He shuffled his feet uncomfortably, glancing at the door when he heard a chatty couple pass by. How long had he been in there? Were the others looking for him?

Another person suddenly banged on the door, and Ron started, pushing off from the wall and quickly withdrawing his wand, disabling his Silencio and spelling himself clean.

"Right." He wanted to say more. Merlin, he did. But instead all he said just then was, "Well, I should probably, er, get back to it. You know?"

"Of course." There was rustling on the line, and then Ron was off speakerphone, Malfoy's voice close and intimate again in a way that made him shiver. "Have a good night, Weasley."

"You too, Malfoy."

Ron exited the bathroom, ignoring the irritated look the other patron gave him as he slipped past.

The entire way back to their table, he felt like he was floating on a cloud. Harry gave him an odd look when he slid into his seat, pulling the fresh pint they'd bought him an indeterminable amount of time ago towards him. Ron couldn't even begin to catch up with what they were all talking about, his mind drifting to thoughts of Malfoy, his mobile a leaden weight in his pocket as the night wound on.

[naomijameston]

📙📘📖

Oh gosh, there are so many. 😂 How about the 5 most recent fics that I've poked? 1. "I'll Stay With Her, Kid"- title not final. A missing scene from Disney's Hercules. What did Phil and Meg talk about as she was dying?

2. "5 Times Julieta Saved Augustin, and One Time He Returned the Favor"- Encanto, Julieta/Augustin. It's six scenes from their life together, from first meeting to Casita accepting Augustin, and then a final very painful scene (when Augustin saves Julieta). I may still work on this and perhaps I'll finish it someday, but I am also very well aware of the fact that I am white and have no connection to Colombian culture outside of this movie. It doesn't feel right for me to be writing fanfic when I don't know anything about the culture, you know?

3. "Mutiny"- based on the song "Mutiny" by Caleb Hyles and Jonathan Young. The music video tells its own story- a captain yelling at his crew, who abandon him as the ship sails into a storm. I'm just adding a relationship between the captain and the first mate. :D

4. "Satisfaction"- Nanny McPhee, Cedric/Evangeline, but from Mrs Brown's ghost's perspective. Just a quiet, soft piece. It's been done for ages but it feels incomplete. I'm worried it wants to be in present tense. 😫

5. "The Key to Her Heart"- title not final. Snamione, AU. Do you know the story about the witch who says she'll only marry the person who can get the key from her cat? And how people try all sorts of tricks to catch the cat but one person has the time and patience to make friends with the cat? (There are a lot of different versions. In some, the person also wants to marry the witch but has some reason to not pursue the cat (disability, self-doubt, etc.). In others, the person is interested but doesn't want to "win" the witch.) Then it turns out that the witch is a shapeshifter and she IS the cat??

Well, in my version, Hermione is the witch and is completely fed up the local Gaston figure, Ron. He's been pursuing her relentlessly and making a nuisance of himself. So she says she'll only marry the person who can get the very brittle key off her cat. Any act of aggression will break the key, so the person has to be kind and patient. Ron scoffs at this and sets off to get weapons. He figures the cat is a ruse and that the witch will actually summon a dragon or something. He plans to kill the dragon and take the witch by force, or kill her too.

Severus is the local blacksmith who refuses to supply Ron with weapons. Ron injures him rather brutally because of it, and Severus runs off to warn the witch. On the way, he sees her cat wandering around and scoops him up to take him back to safety.

Hermione is thrilled that Severus shows up with the cat instead of Ron and declares them married. They're both adorable fools- Hermione is all, "Hello husband!" and Severus is like, "Okay, uh, can we deal with that later? Ron is coming to kill you." 😂

Anyway, I kind of lost the thread when Minerva showed up as Hermione's mother and while she is scolding Hermione for causing trouble, Ron shows up completely kitted out in shiny armor. Hermione shapeshifts into a dragon to fight him while Minerva heals Severus' hand and explains what the hell is going on.

I've pretty much given up on it, to be honest. It's a big old mess and I don't know that it can be saved. I feel bad because an H&C member was excited to read it and when it looked like I was going to be able to finish it, I told them to expect it. But now I have nothing to show them and I feel really bad about it.

Anyway, uh, I hope you enjoyed this? 😅

[yuta-nakamots]

we go up - l.mk

Pairing - Mark x Reader

Genre - Fluff, College!AU

Warnings - one single mention of sex but no descriptions of it

Summary - Growing up was a part of life. Though you were scared of all that the future holds, you looked forward to going through it all with Mark right by your side.

Word Count - 4.2k

A/N - this was supposed to be released 4 days ago ahaha I passed all my classes so that’s really what matters. anyways, here’s this fic to celebrate Milly’s 3 years on Tumblr and 5 years for me and my blog

Written for the Moodboard Collab hosted by @bumblebeenct​​. Also part of the Neowinter Festival hosted by @czennienet.

Song: We Go Up. Color Set: #1.

Never would you have thought that you’d be on the path to living in the real world so soon. Summers were for relaxing and having fun but you’ll never regret jumping at the opportunity to travel the world with Mark Lee instead.

Mark’s parents were executives for a travelling company that offered a variety of trips all over the world. You knew it was part of their job to visit those countries and survey the different options available and put together plans based on them but with Mark having just graduated from college and you going into your final year, it was soon to be a job shared by both of you as well.

It hasn’t been long since you first began dating him, in fact, it hadn’t been long since you first met him on your first day on campus. Both of you were moving in on the same day and crossed paths as you were lugging your two loaded suitcases in through the main entrance of the dormitory. Your family hadn’t come with you, putting their faith in you to make it to your school on your own, so you could only guess how pitiful you must’ve looked to others.

“Hey those look pretty heavy, I can help you with that if you’d like,” you looked up to find the owner of the voice and were met by a handsome boy with a smile you’d never forget, “my name is Mark, by the way.”

“Uh, y/n, nice to meet you and yeah, actually, if you could take this one it would help me so much.” You told him as you pulled up the smaller of the two suitcases.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take the larger one? I can handle it.” He looked at you with eyes full of interest, his pupils almost resembling boba thanks to the odd lighting in the hall.

You shook your head before turning to head to the elevator, “I only just met you, I wouldn’t make you do this. Besides, it’s not even that much heavier than the other one.”

“Alright, whatever you say. What floor are you on though? I can help you move in if you don’t have anyone else.” He offered kindly.

“I’m on the third floor,” you informed him, “but don’t you have somewhere to be? You couldn’t have just been sitting around in the lobby.”

You say his expression morph into one of panic before quickly relaxing, “oh, I was just on my way to the university center to pick up my keys and get my mail. Gosh, you made me think I was late to something important.” The laugh he let out was so full and loud, it felt as if it were reaching out to you.

“Are you sure you don’t have anything else you should be doing?” You question as you pressed the button for the elevator. “I’d hate to be the reason why you missed a meeting or something.”

Mark pulled out his phone as both of you waited for the elevator. “No, I’m pretty sure I don’t have anything else planned for today. I just had to move in earlier and that’s it, I don’t have any solid plans.” The doors opened and let out a few other people, who you guessed were also students, before you and Mark stepped in.

“I just met you though,” you pointed out, “how do I know that you’re not some weirdo that’s gonna try steal my stuff?”

He raised an eyebrow at you. “Really? I mean, not like in a bad way ‘really’ but I can promise you that I’m not trying to do anything bad.”

You hummed in mock sarcasm, “mmhmm, that’s what they all say.”

“If you don’t believe me I’ll give you my number if you want or like my room number, even-”

“Mark I was just joking dude.” You laughed, amused by how gullible the boy was.

“Oh…” he breathed, relief settling over him as the doors opened up to the third floor, “but can I still get your number though?”

“Beat me to my room and I’ll think about it.” You took off running in a random direction, unsure which way you were even supposed to go in.

Mark followed close behind, “wait but I don’t even know which room number to look for!”

“Maybe that’s the point!” You shout back.

continue as always, wild and free

Though he did not make it to your room before you, you still gave him your phone number to thank him for helping you with your luggage. Mark was kind enough to stay and help you unpack your things and get your room set up. He even accompanied you to get dinner from the cafeteria since it was already getting late by the time the two of you finished unloading everything.

Over the next few days before classes, you hung out with Mark and any other freshmen that you happened to run into. You found out that Mark was a business major and planned to minor in tourism industry management. As for you, your major was biology with a focus in ecology.

Mark seemed to love sharing about himself as seen from the way he eagerly told you about the company his parents worked for and how he was interested in someday becoming a part of it which was why he chose his intended path of study. You had come in the college with the intent of wanting to make a difference in the world and help tackle one of the biggest global issues, which is climate change, leading you to your chosen track.

Mark was a great listener and seemed genuinely interested in everything you had to say. If he thought anything was lame or dumb, he hid it very well because he seemed to be picking up all the information you put down. You had come in knowing that most people in large corporations didn’t think much about the environment. Either Mark was faking it to keep his new friendship with you or he genuinely held the same beliefs as you. You chose to believe it was the latter.

All throughout your first year in college together you and Mark stuck together, always preferring each others company, even within the large group of friends you managed to accumulate with him. Luckily he was only one floor above you so he wasn’t far away at all. If you ever needed anything, he really was ‘one call away’ and would come running even if it was just to catch a bug in your room.

Freshmen year came and went, both you and Mark went back home for summer vacation and came back to campus as sophomores. You both kept in touch and regularly updated each other on things like Mark’s trip to Britain with his parents. That was the first real glimpse you had into his dreams and goals for his future. Meanwhile you just ranted to him about all the terrible customers that came in at your part-time job, though he didn’t seem to mind at all and always offered you his company.

Sophomore year was when he asked you to be his girlfriend. After the two of you had eaten dinner together as usual and were walking back to the dorms, that was when he had finally made a move. “So, uh, I know this may be kind of sudden but I actually really like you.” He told you.

You looked up at him as you continued walking next to him. “And in what way, exactly?”

“In a ‘I like you as more than just a friend’ kind of way.” He replied, looking down at the leaf-covered sidewalk.

“Well lucky for you, I might just like you in the same way.” Mark’s head shot up and his eyes met yours.

He blinked rapidly and his gaze never left yours, as if searching for the truth. “Wait, like really?”

“Yes, really.” You pulled him closer to you so he wouldn’t walk right into the tree that was coming up.

“Does that mean you’ll be my girlfriend?” He asked after mumbling a quick ‘thank you’.

You stopped walking and turned to face him. “If you ask properly then I don’t see why not.”

“Oh, uh,” his eyes flitted left to right before finally settling on yours, “will you be my girlfriend?”

“No.” You tried to hold your laughter in the way his eyes widened but you just couldn’t. “Of course I’ll be your girlfriend you stupid! I didn’t say all of that for nothing, oh my gosh you really are so gullible.”

Mark’s mouth opened slightly before he closed it again and then burst out going “don’t do that to me for crying out loud! You don’t even know how I was actually about to cry if you said no just now.”

You grabbed his hand and quickly interlaced your fingers with his. “There, I’m sorry. Do you feel better now? Do you want me to kiss you to make you feel better?”

“Uh, yes? To both?” He spoke, still shaken from earlier.

You raised his hand to your lips, kissing that back of his hand with a smile. “Thank you for choosing me.”

i’m gonna try flying a little further

Things continued on in this way in your relationship, always keeping things lighthearted and never too serious. Thankfully both of you had past dating experience and weren’t completely clueless on how to act toward each other. One thing led to the next and you had your first kiss with him the day he was leaving to go home for winter break. “I love you, stay safe, don’t die.” You called out to him as he got into his uber.

“Got it babes, love you too.” He sent you a kiss before shutting the door which you happily caught and held to your heart.

It was during that break that the two of you told your parents about each other and things went surprisingly smooth of both ends. Mark had even informed you that his parents were interested in meeting you after he told them about your field of study. “Yeah they were so intrigued by it! They’ve been looking into more sustainable and eco-friendly options for a while now so I think this must’ve struck a chord with them.” He chattered excitedly over the phone.

“Dude, don’t make me even more nervous about meeting them-”

“Hold up, did you just call me dude?” He questioned.

“It’s not like you don’t call me dude as well.” You commented.

Mark let out a laugh on his end. “Alright, fair enough. But not to alarm you or anything, but they said that I could bring you along for one of our trips during summer if you’re down.”

“Oh my gosh, seriously?” You exclaimed.

“Yes, seriously,” he confirmed, amused at your enthusiasm, “should I tell them that you’re interested?”

“Mark is that even a question? Of course I’m interested.” Your excitement was almost bubbling over from the way everything seemed to be working in favor of you and Mark.

The next summer, you did indeed tag along with Mark and his parents to who were more than happy to meet you and share information on their company while visiting Nevada. Mark wasn’t lying when he said that you interests ‘struck a chord’ with them. Sometimes it seemed like you were more like their child than he was with how much his parents talked with you about possible green options to inquire for. It was thanks to them that you decided to minor in tourism industry management like Mark, even though it would set you behind one year in graduation.

Going into your junior year, you were able to put together a small scrapbook of sorts with all the pictures from the trip to Nevada and gave it to Mark to celebrate your one year anniversary. “Wait, when did you even take that picture of me though?” He asked while looking at the picture of him spread out on a hotel bed like a starfish.

“You smacked me with your arm so I woke up and it was like, seven in the morning so I decided to just fool around and take pictures of you,” you explained with a smile on your face, “if you look in that bottom corner, you can see my foot because I had to stand over you but not too closely so my legs were like a triangle over you.”

Mark shook his head as he laughed at your antics before gently closing the book. “I love you, you know that right?” He placed a kiss on your cheek and sat back to adore you with his eyes practically sparkling.

“How could I not? I’d be worried that you may not know that I love you.” You told him playfully, setting the scrapbook aside and straddling his lap.

“Baby, that’s the last thing you need to worry about.” His voice fell into its lower ranges as he began kissing you in a way he never has before. It was on that night, the night of your first anniversary that the two of you made love for the first time in your shared campus apartment.

make me beautiful in the memories

When you brought Mark home for the holidays, your family was more than thrilled to meet him and you thanked whatever supreme being existed out there for blessing you with him. He got along well with your parents and even became a favorite of all the younger kids, especially when he joined them in making a snowman out in front of your house.

“Look y/n! Marky helped us start building a snowman!” Your younger sister exclaimed before running off once again to join some of your cousins.

You watched as Mark helped them roll the largest ball of snow around the yard until it was at least a third of his height. “Come join us y/n!” He called out. “You can get the rocks and sticks to make his arms and face.”

One of your younger cousins came by to join you as you sifted through the snow to find nice rocks to use. “When are you and Marky getting married?” He asked.

“Married? We’ve only been together for a year.” You told the little boy.

“Oh, hmm, well it’s never too early to start thinking.” He decided before finding a cute little stick that he deemed fit to function as a nose for the snowman.

You joined Mark in rolling the second ball of snow while the kids made the last one. “So what was that I heard about getting married?” He questioned.

Suddenly your cheeks felt warm and your eyes darted away from him and back to the mound of snow in front of you. “Uh, nothing, one of the kids just was asking if we plan on getting married.”

“He’s right, you know,” Mark spoke quietly, “it’s never too early to start thinking about it.”

“I mean, we’re still so young though.” You told him.

“That doens’t mean I don’t see myself having a future with you.” Mark commented as he picked up the ball of compacted snow.

“Gosh, you’re so chessy. What next? Names for our kids?” You joke as you watch him place the ball on top of the largest one at his knees.

He winked at you once the snowman had his torso complete. “Already on it.”

Spring semester was spent planning for Mark’s graduation in the following year and getting the classes for your minor arranged. His parents invited you to go with them to Hawai’i which you politely declined, as you did not know much about the people and culture and did not have time to accurately research before going thanks to all the summer classes you were taking to ensure that you’d graduate on time.

You and Mark decided to live off campus for his last year in college and though it was inconvenient to have to cook your own meals and walk a little bit further to get to school, it was all worth it when you got to make the memories you did with him.

“So you just crack the egg and drop it in the pan?” He hesitated, the said egg hovering over the edge of the frying pan.

You rolled your eyes at him, “Mark, how many times do I have to tell you? You just crack it and let it fall into the pan. It’s not that hard.”

He mocked your expression after you said ‘it’s not that hard’ as he cracked the egg into the pan, yelping at the way the oil splashed up at him. You left to freshen up a bit, having been woken up by the ruckus Mark had made in the kitchen only to come back five minutes later to another bout of him yelling for help. “What now?”

“I, uhh, I think I burned the egg.” His face was tinged with shame as you came over to the stove, sliding the egg in question onto a plate before lifting its side to see that it was indeed burnt.

“I don’t know how you manage to burn an egg after I leave you for such a short amount of time.” You tell him as you pull another one out from the refrigerator. “Here, try again. You’re lucky it’s the weekend.”

“You’re not gonna let me stop until I’ve successfully cooked an egg, huh?” You shook your head to answer his question, causing Mark to let out a sigh before going to add a little more oil to the pan.

look time fly, we fly, changes come with time

Days like that were normal for the two of you, though more often than not, you chose to order food since Mark was clearly not very trustworthy in the kitchen and you weren’t all that better yourself.

Living with Mark was not always happy and fun, though. Sometimes the two of you fought and sometimes it was over the smallest things like how he didn’t put his clothes into his hamper after changing out of them or how you’d leave your belongings strewn about the apartment.

Being with him taught you that a relationship is a two-way thing. Everyone has their flaws and if you truly love someone, you’ll learn to work with them to get solve problems that arise or get around them.

Getting to live with Mark and see him everyday was certainly a lot more convenient, especially when both of you were swamped with finals and had little to no time to go out on an actual date. Falling asleep in each others arms and waking up to the sight of the other was enough for those times. In those mornings where you woke up before Mark and didn’t want to get out of bed just yet, you took the time to be thankful for the path of life you were on and how thankful you were to have met the boy in front of you.

It was moments like those that made it all worth it.

When Mark graduated in the following spring, you sat in the crowd alongside his parents, watching him and your past classmates walk across the stage and receive their diplomas.

“Ah, he looks just the same as when he graduated from high school.” His mother commented. She even pulled up his old pictures and showed them to you, making you laugh at how cute he was back then. You could hear his voice in your head, whining about how he’s not cute but you paid it no mind.

The rush of emotion you felt when the name ‘Mark Lee’ was called and he stepped out in his cap and gown was truly something else. You stood up and cheered alongside the rest of his friends who were seated around you, the bunch of you only getting louder when his head jerked in your direction and he smiled and waved to you all.

the reason why i can be fearless is because you’re looking at me with your two eyes

“That’s going to be you next year, you know.” Mark’s father stated nodding over to where Mark was playfully chest-bumping his fellow graduates. “Okay, well not like that, but you know what I mean.”

You let out a laugh as you watched Mark stumble and nearly fall. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

“Do you have any plans for summer, dear?” His mother inquired.

“I have a few classes from June through July but I believe I do not have anything for the latter half of June until school starts again in August.” You informed her.

“Would you like to come along with us to Paris then? We missed you greatly last year and felt you would have enjoyed the experience more than Mark did.” She explained as she pulled up more pictures of Mark though this time it was him in a botanically garden getting scared from all the bugs. “I’ll send this one to you.”

You thanked her with a smile on your face and graciously accepted her offer to travel with them to Paris. Mark was over the moon when he heard that you’d be going with them, especially since this was going to be the first time he’d be allowed to lead the meetings and events.

It felt like school hadn’t even finished from the way you went right back to work for your summer courses and Mark got to putting together his first few projects for the company. He was intent on showing the executives that he was a fully capable individual and was not trying to simple ride off of his parents achievements. You were proud of him for that.

By the time you all got to Paris, it felt like a much needed breath of fresh air from the constant hustle of school and work. One of the first places Mark took you to was one of the local night markets near the hotel you were staying at. You pulled out your light blue polaroid camera which Mark had gotten awfully used to within these past few years and took multiple pictures of him eating street food and walking around under the stringed lights.

i need you right here

“Oh, that fountain looks kinda cool.” He exclaimed, walking out of frame.

“Mark you can’t just do that when I’m about to take your pict-”

“Yeah yeah, you can take pictures here instead. It looks prettier.” You both paused to admire the sculpting of the stone and the way the water and the coins at the bottom of the fountain glittered under the night lights. Mark sat down at the edge of the fountain after a bit. “Here, you can take them now.”

You took a few before handing of the camera to him so he could take a few of you. “Have you ever thought that this is where we’d be after all this time?” He asked after giving the camera back to you and joining you next to the fountain. “Like, back when we were freshmen, we didn’t know where we’d be within the next few years and here we are, together, three years later.”

“I think you’re jet-lagged, babe, but yeah I see what you mean.” You agreed, falling into the rhythm of the way the water spilled over from the top tier into the lower ones and out from there into the base at the bottom. “We went from clueless freshmen to young adults breaking out into the real world.”

You watched as Mark dug around in his pocket, pulling out a single coin and enclosing it in a fist. “I wish for things to stay the same- no, for us to- wait, no, I wish for us to remain happy together while facing all the challenges that our lives have to offer us.” With that, he tossed the coin into the fountain and you both followed it as it sunk to the floor.

He pulled another coin out and offered it to you. “I wish…” you began, trailing off as you thought of what more you could possibly say, “I wish for us to stay together for as long as time allows and that we will get to watch each other grow and fulfill whatever plans that life has for us.”

As your coin hit the bottom, Mark pulled you in for a hug. “I really do love you, you know.”

“Yeah I know.” You hugged him back, enjoying the feeling of his arms around you.

“Look at me, babe.” He whispered, causing you to glance up at him. Whatever you were about to say was cut off by Mark’s lips against yours.

It felt like nothing else mattered at that moment. Nothing except your lips against his, his arms around you, your hearts and souls connecting as one.

we go up

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 30

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: At Waystation, pt 3/?

A/N: Chapter 30 already! This chapter was not an easy one to edit as I was insecure about a lot of things, but hey, it's out now and that's what matters, right? I am so aware things are progressing a bit slowly right now but I feel it's kind of 'necessary' to have a bit of down time before things start going down. (Not that I'm capable of writing actual drama.) Well, at least we'll find out a bit more about Leo's past in this chapter.

Without a further ado, please enjoy and let me know what you think (those comments really help me!!!)

Words: exactly 3000 apparently :O

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

...

After breakfast Leo asked Calypso if she would like him to give her a tour around Waystation. She agreed, but Leo couldn’t help but raise his eyebrow at his family members when Georgina asked if she could go with the flatmates and Leo’s mothers told her that they needed Georgie’s help in some Christmas chores.

“What?” Josephine asked innocently when she noticed Leo staring.

“I dunno, tía Jo. It just kinda seems like you don’t want Georgie to hang out with us,” he stated bluntly.

“That’s not accurate at all, Leo,” she denied. “I’d gladly let Georgina go with you but we really do need her help around here. Christmas isn’t coming if we all just slack off, right, Emmie?”

“I agree, dear. I haven’t even…” Emmie’s hesitance only deepened Leo’s suspicions. “...hmmm, taken care of our mistletoes yet.”

“Mistletoes?” Leo crossed his arms over his chest, briefly daring to wonder what would happen if he and Calypso were under one of those plants at the same time. He shook his head to dispel such an idea.

“Didn’t we agree that we don’t need stuff like that? You don’t even like Christmas!”

“I may agree that this holiday is way too commercial these days, but since Emmie has some mistletoes growing in her greenhouse anyway, I don’t see why we wouldn’t use them,” Jo commented. “It’s nice that Georgie gets to experience some of the old traditions even if we grownups don’t care about them.”

“Whatever,” Leo rolled his eyes, knowing he wouldn’t win that battle.

“Um, if you need extra hands,” Calypso joined the conversation, addressing Jo and Emmie, “I don’t have to go with Leo. I’d love to help too.”

Leo felt a twinge of disappointment because of Calypso’s suggestion. His insecure side yelled that maybe he had misread Calypso’s intentions all along.

“Oh, no, no!” Emmie denied immediately. “You are our guest; we want you to take it easy and enjoy your stay here. I bet Leo’s tour is a lot more fun than us peeling way too many potatoes and carrots for the casserole.”

“I wouldn’t mind peeling potatoes,” Calypso mumbled but Leo’s mothers pretended they didn’t even hear that. The flatmates simply had to accept that they wouldn’t have a chaperone - except maybe Festus - on their tour.

Once the two of them were outside, Leo’s thoughts went back to the time when he had first arrived at Waystation. Back then, he had been only 15, having just escaped from his latest foster home, which had been located far away in New Mexico. His foster family there had hidden their opinion on him very badly, giving him sly remarks about his looks and telling him to speak clearer English even though Leo’s English had always been fine, thanks to his real mother allowing him to learn both Spanish and English as a small kid. They had also made him do the hard work such as carrying heavy loads while the other foster kid of the family got the easy tasks. And when he had come home from school with bad grades, the foster parents had commented: “why do we even bother with you?”

At some point Leo had simply had enough, and by selling some of the few belongings he had he had managed to gather just enough money for one plane ticket and so he flew to Indianapolis without telling anything to his foster family.

After living on the streets and successfully dodging the authorities for a couple of weeks, the police finally found him and contacted the local social workers. Thankfully, after Leo put all his convincing skills to use, they agreed to not send him back to New Mexico, instead finding him a new foster family nearby. Leo hadn’t had high expectations because he had been in at least 6 different foster homes since his mother’s death and none of them had been a good match for him. Some had been abusive, some racist, some ignorant, some had had kids who were bullies, some had had alcohol issues… What had been common for them all was that none of them had treated him the way they should have.

That was why Leo had picked some bad habits too; he wanted to drown his feelings somehow and he ended up stealing small amounts of money from his foster family so he could buy alcohol from his older homeless ‘friends’. He had hated how it made him feel afterwards, but it had been the only way he had known how to deal with his issues. At some point he had even had suicidal thoughts because the guilt and trauma from his childhood got so bad he woke up covered in sweat after the same old fire filled nightmare almost every night. And going from foster home to foster home and feeling like none of those people cared what he really did with his life definitely didn’t help him regain his feeling of self worth. He had no future, no plans, no real friends or family and nowhere to go.

Luckily, during his worst phase in his last foster home someone from his homeless group mentioned having a relative in Indiana and that he was hoping to move there at some point in hopes of getting a new start for his life. That idea sparked something in Leo’s mind and when he started planning his big escape, Indianapolis was the first place that he thought of.

When he finally met Jo and Emmie, he was surprised. Seeing them spending time with their then 5-year-old adoptive daughter, he could tell that these women genuinely cared about the little girl and did everything for her wellbeing. Not only that, Jo was a mechanic just like Leo’s real mother and they had also other things in common. With some patience and showing that they cared, simply by making sure that Leo ate, rested and had something to do with his time other than dwelling on his sad past, they eventually won him over. And when Leo discovered thanks to Jo’s help that he himself had the skills to become a mechanic someday as well, he finally had a goal to reach and studying wasn’t quite as big a struggle for him anymore.

Soon, however, Leo became afraid that Jo and Emmie wouldn’t want to keep him around because he still had some bad days when he literally had to be dragged from his bed. He was also worried that maybe the women had heard what he had done in his past and were silently judging him. Instead, they surprised him by telling him that they wanted to officially adopt him much like Georgina because he was a part of their family now. As an added bonus they assigned him for therapy sessions, which really helped and the days when he didn’t want to do anything became less and less. Leo knew he was still a work in progress but this family had helped him so much and he had found his purpose, his home, at Waystation.

Calypso had naturally noticed Leo’s silence so eventually she asked:

“Are you OK? You’re being unusually quiet.”

“Oh, yeah, just dandy!” Leo exclaimed, trying to act more like his usual self. “I was just thinking about the times when I first moved in here.”

“Really? Do you want to tell me more about that?” Calypso asked curiously.

“I guess it won’t hurt.” Leo shrugged. “I don’t remember if I’ve told you that I was in a lot of foster homes before I got here. Well, my last foster parents were really shitty people and I was this close to… I dunno, doing something desperate. So I decided to just leave and ended up here in Indianapolis. I, um, was homeless for a bit but when the social workers got me into their hands they found me a new family, Jo and Emmie. At first they were supposed to only foster me for a time being but they ended up adopting me instead. I… haven’t told this to anyone, but they probably saved my life by doing that. The Leo from that time was far from the Super-Sized McSizzle that I am now,” he attempted to joke, but Calypso ignored that. Instead, she said:

“I’m sorry you had to go through that… but I’m glad you opened up about it to me.” Leo’s heart did an extra jump when he saw Calypso smiling at him supportingly. He would never get used to that. “And I’m glad Jo and Emmie adopted you.”

“Yeah, me too… When I first saw the place I was like, ‘wow, I wish I could stay here’. Obviously the people here are awesome - they are my family - but that wasn’t the only thing the 15-year-old me cared about. The cars and other machines Jo was fixing? So cool. I had only seen something like that at my childhood home and the nostalgia hit me like ‘boom’ right away.”

“I should have known it was the machines that convinced you to stay here,” Calypso teased, but Leo knew her already too well to get provoked by that.

“Nah. I mean, they’re neat and all, but Jo and Emmie did the actual convincing.”

“Okay, I believe you. So, was Jo’s garage what made you want to become a mechanical engineer?” Calypso asked.

“I guess the spark was always there but it took me a while to convince myself that I should try to pursue that goal. But when I started going to school again regularly – long story, don’t ask – I noticed that the sciences were easy for me, I was also decent enough at drawing – which of course helps with the blueprints and stuff – and Jo let me try fixing some of the simpler machines she had and turned out I wasn’t half bad. It was Jo and Emmie who kept pushing me to apply for the uni, though, because they believed in me more than I did. I’m thankful that they did it but… sometimes I still doubt...” Leo hadn’t talked about his insecurities even to his adoptive mothers so he felt that the fact that he was able to open up about it to Calypso was a big deal.

“I’ve seen you fix countless items,” Calypso said slowly. “I’ve noticed that you’re always… so different when you’re fiddling with your machines. More relaxed. Calmer. Surer of what you do. And your eyes sparkle and you hum some old school rock song while you work and I can just tell that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.”

Leo had to avert his eyes from her because he was afraid he would do something stupid like cry if he looked at her too long in that moment. No matter how encouraging his family, friends and the therapist were… it was still hard to get used to the compliments. And if he was honest to himself, he probably valued Calypso’s opinion more than anyone else’s at that point.

“Wow… umm… I don’t know how to answer that…” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“A simple thank you would probably do,” Calypso replied. “But know that I mean what I say. Now, how about you show me that famous garage?”

Leo did as he was told. He introduced Calypso to all the tools and machinery they used to fix whatever item the customer happened to bring in. He had a feeling that Calypso probably didn’t have any idea what he was talking about half the time because he tended to get very technical with the terms when he got excited, but she still seemed content listening to him. At least she wasn’t telling him to stop, which was definitely a plus.

To Leo’s surprise, Calypso went to the table where he and Jo used to draw their blueprints and asked him if she could see how he did it because she hadn’t seen his blueprints before. He complied, taking a pencil and a piece of blank paper from the stack and looking at Calypso questioningly.

“What do you want me to draw, then? I may have some experience on this but even I need some ideas first…”

“You can draw whatever you like. How about Festus?” Calypso requested.

“Festus?” Leo tapped the pencil against his chin for a moment, considering Calypso’s request. “Hmm, as you wish, Sunshine.”

He started making fast, swift motions on the paper and it didn’t take him very long to finish the sketch. Sure, the lines were a bit rough, but Calypso told him she was very impressed by how accurately he remembered even the little details, such as a dark spot on Festus’ back, how the tail curved when he was happy, and how he was missing a tiny piece of the tip of his left ear.

Leo felt a bit embarrassed by the praise. “It just comes with me hanging out with him so much. Nothing more to it, really.” He looked at the sketch for a moment. “Hold on, I feel like this is missing something. Can you look towards that window for a moment?”

“What, why?” Calypso asked, but turned anyway.

“Just adding something real quick,” Leo replied and started sketching again. He wondered if it was the lighting of the room but he thought Calypso’s cheeks seemed a bit darker than usual and she kept looking at the floor shyly. When he realized that he’d probably feel the same way if she was drawing him, he himself got flustered and decided to try to finish the drawing as quickly as possible. Within minutes he had drawn her next to Festus, playing with him, wearing the same holiday sweater and jeans she currently was.

“Can I see?” Calypso asked.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Leo gave the picture to her. “It’s not detailed or anything but I tried.”

Calypso kept staring at it for a moment. “Leo… this looks great! I mean, I don’t think I am that pretty but I am quite amazed that you managed to do this that fast!”

Leo wanted to say that there was no way the picture did her justice but he knew that would be a never ending debate so instead he told her: “It’s the experience, Sunshine. When you draw hundreds of blueprints you learn to be fast.”

Calypso turned her attention to the drawing again. “Can I get it?” she asked after a while.

“Why?”

“Because Festus looks cute, you weirdo. That’s a good enough reason, right?”

“Fine, you can have it. I’m not sure where I’d put it anyway.” Leo shrugged. He wasn’t sure why Calypso possibly hanging the picture on her wall made him feel a bit weird. In a good way, though.

Once the two of them left the garage, Leo pointed at a smaller building next to the ‘main’ one. A couple of pointy ears were peeking from the upstairs windows. “That’s where our foster animals live. I think the kid me wished on some level that I could have a pet but my mom could never afford one… but Jo and Emmie have been fostering rescue cats and dogs even before I got here. One of them was Festus’ mum; she was pregnant when she arrived here. When she had her puppies, I noticed that one of them was a bit of an outsider and we instantly formed a bond. Jo and Emmie allowed him to stay here even though he sure would have had adopters.”

“That was really sweet of them,” Calypso commented. “Can we see who’s in there right now?”

“Sure but we should probably let Emmie know about it because she’s pretty strict about who can go in. She may ask us to wear ‘bunny suits’; some of the animals may be sick and we don’t wanna spread the bugs around.”

“No problem, let’s go see her then.”

When Emmie heard what Leo and Calypso were about to do, she promised to stop her Christmas chores for a while so she could show them (mainly Calypso) around in the rescue house. Currently she was fostering two young puppies who had been found on the streets without their mother, a mother cat with her 4 kittens who were getting close to their adoption age, and an older cat with some kidney issues who seemed to however adore the little kittens.

Leo was watching Calypso’s reactions closely as Emmie was introducing her to the kittens. Soon one of the braver kittens climbed on the girl’s lap, giving her a tiny ‘meow’ and then started nuzzling against her sleeve.

“Aww, look Leo! He loves me,” Calypso exclaimed, smiling widely as the kitten started purring loudly on her lap while she pet him. ‘He’s not the only one,’ Leo thought in his mind. Aloud he asked: “Why do you sound so surprised?”

“I guess because I’ve never really handled cats so I didn’t know how they’d react to me…” Calypso noted more seriously. But then the happiness returned to her face. “You know, this one reminds me of you! He also has long, black hair like you and fierce eyes.”

“Fierce?” Leo raised his eyebrow. “That’s what you think of me?”

Calypso seemed to want to explain but with Emmie in the room she didn’t go to details. “Um, maybe? Hey, look! Another one is coming!”

This time a small ginger kitten was approaching her and Calypso extended her arm so the kitten could sniff her. The group kept making small talk about the cats in the room and continued snuggling them, but Leo’s eyes were on Calypso the whole time. He could see how happy she was about such a simple thing as kittens and it made him feel lighter, warmer again, even though he had just remembered some very bad times a few moments earlier. Maybe all of it had been meant to happen, he wondered briefly. After all, it led him here, to his family… and Calypso.

[funky-boat-zone]

can this be a “pilot episode” if it’s a fic—

(the first fic for my salty’s lighthouse au is finally done! enjoy (or don’t). also it’s not going on ao3 because there’s no tag for this show and i don’t wanna clog the tugs tag.)

It was 6:30 in the morning, with the sun just starting to cast its light over Snugboat Harbor. All twelve tugs (plus Grampus) waited in front of Captain Star’s window for their orders. No one knew what they were waiting for besides the fact that Star had specifically asked the Zero Fleet to wait at her window instead of his.

Ten Cents yawned. “Why’d Captain bring the Zeroes here instead of just waiting for Zero to come to work?”

“What, do you have a problem with us staying at your dock?” Zorran snapped, Zug glancing apologetically at Ten Cents on his behalf.

Ten Cents sputtered in irritation. “No, of course not! Sheesh, are you sure you’re not the one with a prob—“

“Have some respect! If she called all of us over, it must be something serious!” Top Hat protested.

“D’ya think somebody sunk?” ZB tactlessly wondered aloud to Zak, earning him a few horrified looks from his fellow tugs.

“Well if the Coast Guard’s not here, it probably wasn’t someone that important.” Zak replied, only to spot Zorran glaring at him. “… What?”

“Shh, here she comes!” Hercules ordered, which promptly stopped the boats’ chatter.. for the time being, anyway.

Sure enough, a blue and white-striped megaphone popped out of the window. “Star Fleet, Zeroes, Boomer’s owner wants to know if Snugboat Harbor has the right kind of jobs for him and he’s coming to assist you all with work today! Whether or not he decides to stay, I expect you all to be on your best behavior!” With that, she returned to her office, closing the window on the way and leaving the tugs to talk amongst themselves until Boomer inevitably arrived.

Ten Cents groaned. “Oh no, what’d we do?”

“What do ya mean?” Zip asked.

“He’s jinxed! Cursed! No reasonable captain would make their tugs work with Boomer unless it was some kind of punishment!” Big Stack cried.

Ten Cents’ sighed. “I remember when he wanted to ‘help us out’ with a liner.”

“How’d that go?” Sunshine asked, although she quickly realized her mistake when she saw how Ten Cents’ face fell. “… Too soon?”

“Lighten up everyone, it’s not like he means to bring bad luck.” Warrior chided.

“And it’s not like Sunshine means to run bow-first into other tugs because she can’t take two seconds to look where she’s going, what’s your point?” Zorran argued, ignoring Sunshine’s cry of “Hey!” from across the jetty.

“Can’t we at least try to be nice to him?” Sunshine suggested. “Who knows? Maybe his luck will turn if we stop acting like everything he does is bad luck, just saying.”

The dead silence from both fleets indicated that they weren’t feeling inclined to take her suggestion.

—

Roughly an hour later, ZB spotted a tug in an orange worker’s cap and matching livery entering the harbor. What stood out to him the most was the tape and bandages covering the vessel, no doubt covering the cracks, dents, and holes from his countless accidents. “Must be Boomer.” He thought aloud to himself, pulling his barges out of the way so he could pass by. From how far away the other tug was, there was almost no way Boomer would actually hit the barges, but better safe than sorry, right?

Almost as soon as the tug in the orange cap was out of sight, ZB heard Zero cry “Watch the dock, watch the dock— I said *watch the dock!*”, which was in turn followed by a loud thunk and Zero lamenting the damage to his newly-repaired dock.

“Yep, has to be Boomer.” ZB corrected himself.

—

Much to the dismay of everyone, including the captains, Boomer’s first job for the day involved helping Warrior and Big Stack transport explosives. Both fleets were ordered to give them plenty of room, which they gladly did, excessively so: Not just because it was captain’s orders, but because no one wanted to be hit with flying shrapnel in case this job went wrong.

“C’mon, I’m pretty sure we don’t need to give them that much room.” Hercules sighed, noticing how both fleets were stationed almost a liner’s length apart from each other. Despite his reassurance, no one made a move to get closer.

“Well, I may end up in a museum someday, but that day will not be today and my exhibit will not be one on shipwrecks!” Top Hat argued, earning a few eye-rolls from the rest of his fleet.

“Really, you guys need to stop assuming the worst of him! He’s not even the one towing the explosives, there’s no possible way he could—!“ Hercules was interrupted by an explosion, followed quickly by Big Stack proclaiming “I’m okay!” in the distance. He looked to his horrified fleet. “O-Okay, that was just a fluke! Besides, it doesn’t sound like all the barges exploded—!” As if on cue, there was another explosion.. And another. And another. Warrior, Big Stack, and Boomer met up with their fleet and were thankfully all still afloat and intact, albeit covered in soot and understandably shaken.

“… Did you manage to save any of the barges?” Top Hat squeaked out, looking at the smoke rapidly rising in the distance.

“Some of them! Well, I don’t know how much good they’ll be, since they’re.. kinda-sorta—well, very much on fire now.” Boomer stammered. “But we tried!” Almost immediately after Boomer stopped speaking, there was a bright orange light in the distance, with all the tugs recognizing it as a fire.

Sunshine winced as her fleet scattered and passed her to find the Fire Chief. Ten Cents sighed.

At the very least, the blaze was only the second worst fire he’d ever seen in port.

—

“Who needs the Star Fleet? Zero’s been looking for another tug anyway.” Zorran noted as Boomer and the rest of the Zero Fleet prepared to pull down a group of old buildings. “Now, all you have to do is secure your line to these buildings, sound your whistle to make sure everyone gets clear, and pull them down.” There’s no possible way Boomer could mess this up, it’s so easy that even Zip and Zug can do it!

Boomer did as he was instructed, sounding his whistle as soon as he got his line on the building’s superstructure. The rest of the Zero Fleet stayed back, shut their eyes, and waited for the sound of the building to come down.

… And waited. And waited.

“I’m not hearing any…” Zug stammered to try and find the right word before settling for just poorly imitating the sound of a building falling down. “Y’know, any of that.”

“Zorran?” Boomer called. “It’s— Uh, the building’s not coming down!”

“… What?” Zorran asked incredulously.

“I think I made myself pretty clear, I’ve been—“ Boomer stopped to catch his breath, “I’ve been at it for at least a few minutes and it hasn’t budged.”

Zorran steamed over to where Boomer was struggling, wondering how he could fail such a simple task. “Move over and let me see that!”

ZB cringed as soon as he saw his boss head toward Boomer. “D’ya think the building’s gonna collapse if he—“

Zak quickly wrapped his line around ZB’s towbitts, making sure he stayed put. “Nah, let Zorran figure that out for himself.” He said. ZB stayed out, failing to notice the smirk on Zak’s face.

Zorran approached the building, having pushed Boomer out of the way. “I don’t see any reason why it hasn’t fallen yet—OH NO!” Shrapnel and dust flew everywhere as the building finally collapsed as the Zeroes had hoped.. right on top of Zorran, who sunk to the bottom with a terrified yelp.

Once the dust cleared, the rest of the Zero Fleet hesitantly steamed over to check if Zorran was okay. Thankfully, he wasn’t fully sunk, since the water near the abandoned buildings was too shallow to let that happen. In fact, he seemed relatively fine for a tug who’d just had a small building collapse on top of him.

“You—“ ZB coughed, “You okay?” he asked nervously, turning carefully to avoid hitting the debris in the water and coughing from the still-lingering dust.

Zorran just shook his wheelhouse resignedly, his eyes unfocused. “At this rate, those kids will go blind if they keep talking to that lighthouse.” He muttered.

The Zeroes exchanged a nervous glance with each other.

“I’ll get him to Lucky’s.” Zak sighed.

—

Zorran returned from Lucky’s good as new, although he looked just as irritated as usual. With the Zero Fleet done with their jobs for the day, he planned to meet up with them near a set of old docks, hoping the Star Fleet wouldn’t come by. “So, who do you think is going to be the oh-so-lucky fleet who gets stuck with Boomer?”

“Probably the Star Fleet, I’m calling it now.” Zak said. “They’ll take anything! I mean, look at Grampus! What’s Captain Star gonna do with a submarine, make him check the docks for barnacles?”

“Hey, he could check boats for barnacles too!”

“Not my point, Zug.”

“Sorry.”

—

Unbeknownst to the Zeroes, the Star Fleet were having a near-identical argument at their own dock.

“I don’t wanna say I don’t want him around—“ Sunshine began.

“I do.” Top Hat said snootily, causing the rest of the Stars at the dock to glare at him.

Sunshine ignored Top Hat and went on. “—But Captain just got Grampus, and I didn’t hear her talking about buying another tug.”

“Ah, so Zero wants him, then.” Big Stack sighed. “Never thought I’d say this, but I feel bad for the Zero fleet.”

—

Both the Stars and the Zeroes apparently had the same idea, because Warrior, Big Stack, and Zorran all found themselves gathered in front of the Star Dock in hopes that they’d get Captain Star to change her mind.

“What’s the problem, Star Fleet.. and Zorran?”

“Well, it’s not that we don’t like Boomer..” Warrior began, only for his brother to cut him off.

“We just hate working with him! I keep telling you, every time someone works with him, they end up crashing, sinking, or getting set on fire! Unless you put something into place to keep this from happening, he can work alone!”

Zorran cut in. “Or at least get someone more expendable to—“

“Zorran!” Both brothers snapped, prompting the Zero Fleet’s leader to shut up.

Captain Star sighed. “I guess now’s a good time to tell you that Boomer likely won’t be working with either of your fleets. Zero and I have thought it over and talked it out, and he doesn’t need a new harbor tug and the Star Fleet has plenty of tugs as is.”

“… Oh.” Big Stack and Warrior responded awkwardly. As much as they didn’t like working with Boomer, it wasn’t as if they wanted to drive him out of the harbor.

“Yes!” Zorran cheered quietly, though not quietly enough to keep Warrior from hearing him and shooting him a disapproving glance.

Captain Star ignored the tugs’ reactions and continued. “Star Fleet, I’d like you to say goodbye to him once you’re all done with work. Snugboat Harbor wasn’t the right fit for him, but let’s wish him luck.”

“Aye aye!” The Star Fleeters agreed before leaving to help the rest of their fleet finish work for the day. Zorran just turned around, headed for his own dock, and prepared to go to sleep.

—

The sun was just beginning to fall as the Stars and the Zeroes gathered to say goodbye to Boomer. The Zeroes arrived twenty minutes late, because Zorran refused to leave his dock and it took the rest of his fleet to drag him to the meeting spot.

“Goodbye Boomer! We wish you the best of luck!” Sunshine cheered.

The Zero Fleet looked to Zorran, only to realize he was falling asleep where he was floating. Hoping Boomer wouldn’t notice, ZB bumped his leader, jolting him awake.

“Uh— what she said!” Zorran shouted as his fleet sighed disappointedly behind him.

Thankfully, Boomer took no notice. “Thanks guys! I’ll be sure to write or visit or something once I find my new job!” He shouted before sailing off toward the horizon.. But not before accidentally sinking a buoy on his way out.

“Should we tell—“ Otis wondered aloud before Hercules cut him off.

“Nah, Captain doesn’t have to know.” Hercules said, wanting to just enjoy the moment.

But once Boomer passed under Snugboat Harbor’s bridge, a small piece of infrastructure came loose and crashed down onto his bow. While it wasn’t enough to collapse the bridge, it was certainly enough for Boomer to notice as he yelped in pain.

The Star Fleet froze in horror, wondering if they should go and help before Boomer’s voice broke the silence. “I’m okay!”

Realizing the rest of his fleet was staring at him with an expression that could best be described as “We told you so”, Hercules sighed and turned around to head to his dock. “I know, I know, I’ll go tell Captain.”

[kimvvantae]

everlasting • jjk

➜ being able to love the same person forever is a blessing given from the heavens. to you, however, eternity has become a curse. 

pairing: jungkook x (f) reader

genre: angst • reincarnation au

warnings: a slight, non-explicit insinuation of sex. subtle mentions of violence. probably historical inaccuracy. also, suffering. lots of suffering, actually.

word count: 18k

rating: pg-13

anon requested: a jungguk fic where him and the reader never work out in any life time like they’ll be “maybe we’ll be together in the next life time” yk I don’t know if I’m making sense 🥺 but then in the last one they end up being together.

➜  this is part of the 1st anniversary event. check out masterlist in bio for more of my works!

× 1401 ×

"You look absolutely lovely!" your mother chirps happily, clapping her hands together. "The most beautiful bride I've ever seen!"

All of the maids agree, making comments on the dress you wear. Some of them are kneeled down around you, making adjustments on the dress and veil. You look at your reflection, holding the delicate fabric with care. You can't disagree with them; indeed, the dress is beautiful. 

"Put a smile on this face, darling." Your mother continues, coming closer to where you stand. She caresses your cheek affectionately. "It is your wedding day!" 

You look at your mother. She smiles widely. If someone that doesn't know her looked at this situation, they'd think she's a caring mother.

But you do know her.

You know the expertly crafted smile that adorns her lips.

You know that there is no happiness at all reflected on her eyes - only the coldness and superiority you're already used to.

You see that what she said was actually a warning. At least pretend to be happy. Don't you disrespect your fiance.

That's all she cares about: appearances. Reputation. Wealth and power. Even though this is the woman that brought you to life, you can't help but wonder if she has ever cared for you at least once.

You say nothing and look back at your reflection.

"May you all leave me alone?" You ask in a low and dead tone. It doesn't even sound like you.

The maids promptly move out of the room without muttering a word, bowing respectfully before leaving. Your mother, however, doesn't move.

"I said may you all leave me alone?" You repeat, your voice louder and harder. Now that you're alone with her, the façade fades and she finally shows her true self: dead eyes, an expression that somehow always conveys aggressiveness. She opens her mouth to say something that will probably hurt your feelings, but you don't let her even start the sentence. You had enough of her. "You already got what you wanted, mother. At least leave me by myself in my last moments of freedom."

The woman glares at you for a moment, then nods. You see the faint shadow of a smirk on her lips. She's enjoying this. She likes to see that you finally bent to her will after all these years - and she doesn't care that this is killing you inside. "Very well." she says, at least once keeping any snarky comment to herself. After giving one last look at you - and in this quick moment you notice that no, she actually does not think you're the most beautiful bride she has ever seen - and finally leaves the room.

You stand in front of the mirror, all alone.

If you could, you would have cried. But you don't have enough strength to cry anymore. The tears seem to have dried out; you feel empty and cold on the inside. The beautiful (and uncomfortable) attire you wear now does not match your blank expression. 

In a few minutes, you'll be attending your own wedding… but deep down, it feels like a funeral.

You feel powerless. You see how gullible you were. Why did you even think you could avoid your fate anyway? There has never been an option to you; there has never been how to escape. You were foolish. You dreamed too high. You should have figured that dreams never take anyone anywhere. 

You asked your mother to enjoy your last moments of freedom by yourself, but… you were never really free. The shackles of destiny have chained you ever since you were born. 

There is no escape.

"You look beautiful, Highness." 

You freeze. The sad, quiet voice floats to your ears, the voice that belongs to the person you love the most-

"Jungkook," you whisper.

You see his reflection in the mirror. He stands by the door, perfect posture as always, hands behind his back. His blank expression might be mistaken by apathy, but you know these dark eyes far too well. You've seen them from up close multiple times, you've stared at them for seemingly endless hours - eyes that used to look back at you with nothing but gentleness and affection, now hold a type of sadness and grief you have never seen before.

"Your father asked me to accompany you," he continues on his usual formal tone. He's visibly trying so hard not to break…

You turn around and face him. The tears that seemed to have dried out come back, welling up your eyes. "I'm sorry." It's all you can say in a weak, small voice. You feel sorry in a way that hurts your chest as if you've been stabbed right in the heart. The sadness in his eyes… this is enough to make you want to die. "I-I tried everything…"

"There's nothing to apologize for, Y/N." Jungkook says with a soft voice - the tone he'd use whenever you were finally alone and away from any suspicious ears, when you could love each other in the silence of the night, your secret being kept by the stars above. The smallest of smiles adorns his lips, but there's no happiness reflected in it. "We knew this would happen someday. We were never meant to be."

His words almost feels like physical pain. You step closer and put your hands over his chest, desperate. "But I love you!" You whisper, your voice breaking as tears start to fall. 

Jungkook lifts his hand and touches your cheek gently, wiping your tears with his thumb. You mean it with the bottom of your heart. You love Jungkook. You love him with every fiber of your being. You silently curse the Universe for making you walk this path, for making you be born a princess and making Jungkook be a knight. No one would never let you be together the way you want to. No one around you even believes in love.

"I love you too," he whispers back. "And I always will." 

A small smile once again appears on his lips. The smile he usually shows when he wants to comfort you. 

This time, though, nothing in the world will be able to comfort your bleeding heart.

"Maybe… maybe we'll meet in our next life. A life when we'll be in different circumstances." Even though Jungkook himself says these words, you see that it's just a sad hope - because right now, there's no way out. All that exists is pain and a dark future ahead of you, married with a prince you have never seen, a man you don't love and never will.

Still, you and Jungkook hold onto this hope - this last shared dream - tightly.

"Maybe we'll be together in our next life." He says as a single tear trickles down his cheek.

× 1642 ×

Life in the convent is good.

Ever since you decided to willingly dedicate your life to God, you see nothing but light and happiness. All of the nuns became your family. Every day, you pray for the Lord, plead that He will forgive your sins, read the Holy Scriptures. You feed the animals, take care of the plantation. You help your sisters on the kitchen; later on, you'd usually distribute food for the poor and unfortunate. 

The routine is repetitive, but familiar and enjoyable. You love your sisters. You love to help people. You love to serve the Lord. This is the life He chose for you.

You are blessed.

But…

Recently, there is a feeling that has been distracting you from your life of serving.

Not a feeling… a person.

You have prayed for endless nights, pleading for God to forgive you, pleading for Virgin Mary's help and guidance. You should eradicate this feeling. You must have no distractions on your life of serving and humility; you must not betray the trust that the Lord has on you…

But every time you hear his suave voice, every time you see him entering the convent, your heart still beats fast. 

Usually, men are not allowed inside the convent. But he is not just any man. The young priest started to come two years ago to lead the mass, and ever since, you started developing this wrong feeling. You started to look at him far too much. You saw his kindness, you admired his wisdom. Soon, you realized that you were hoping for his arrivals. You and him barely even talked, but when you did, it always felt as if you were swept off your feet.

This is wrong.

You swore to live a life of abnegation. You shouldn't crave for anyone's company except God's. But every night, before you closed your eyes, his face came to your mind. You felt happy at any opportunity to talk to him; sometimes, you'd watch him from afar as he talked to the mother superior, your heart fluttering every time he'd smile.

This is unforgivable.

But you can't help it.

That's why one day in the early morning, so early that almost all of the sisters are still asleep, you walk alone to the chapel.

You know he is here; that's why your heart starts beating faster. Quietly, you enter the small booth and kneel down, put your hands together and lower your head respectfully.

"Bless me, priest, for I have sinned." you start timidly.

You hear him saying a prayer, what makes a shiver run down your spine. You can't see him, and he can't see you - and you're grateful for it. You wouldn't be able to look at him for too long.

After he finishes, it's your time to confess. It's hard to do so. You intertwine your own fingers and gulp.

"I… I am behaving inappropriately, priest." Your voice is fragile. Hesitant.

"What makes you think this, sister?" He asks.

You gulp yet again. "I… I developed feelings for someone. I know it's wrong. I have been asking for God's help, I have been trying to forget it… but this feeling won't go away."

The priest stays silent for a moment. Does he know you're talking about him? No, that's impossible…

"You've taken the first step, sister." He says in a reassuring way. "You have been doing your best to avoid these feelings. God for sure will listen to you and help you. He knows you're trying."

You nod, even though you know he can't see it. You should stop it right here. You should thank him and leave.

But you can't.

That's why you keep talking.

"But, priest… deep down, I don't think that my feelings are impure. I… I don't have any carnal feelings for him. I admire him and I crave for his company. I just wish to talk to him and… and to hear him. I just want to be with him."

The priest falls in deep silence.

He's the only man you ever keep in touch with. He knows that you're talking about him.

When you hear him calling your name softly, your eyes widen.

"I understand how you feel." He whispers, and suddenly, it feels as if he is confessing, not you. Your heart beats so fast that you're scared it may stop; your palms start sweating. What does he mean…? "I really do. But… both of us chose this life. We can't go back on our word."

You almost gasp. The priest not only understands - he feels the same. You can't even control your own emotions right now; you feel euphoria, confusion, excitement, and-

And sadness.

Because you know that you shouldn't be feeling what you feel. This is forbidden for you - and the priest is right. You chose it. You decided to live this life.

You can't go back on your word.

"I understand." You say quietly, unable to hide the sadness and guilt in your voice.

He doesn't say anything for a long moment. You can't help but feel the tears trickling down your cheeks. This hurts. It hurts more than you ever thought it would.

"Maybe…" the priest whispers, so quiet that you can barely hear. "Maybe if we had another life… this would be possible."

You nod sadly.

Maybe in another life… 

In a life that you wouldn't be you and him wouldn't be him.

× 1803 ×

"He's looking at you," your younger sister says, giggling.

Your eyes widen and you immediately pass your hand through your hair discreetly, trying to look less like a scarecrow. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, he is. He has been staring for quite a long time." She confirms, still smirking in a knowing way.

You gulp and try to focus on your current task again - which is wash the clothes, kneeled next to the flowing river. Your own clothes are barely dirty rags, your hair is probably a mess. You look nothing like a respectable lady.

What is he doing here anyway?

You shake your head. "I don't care," you lie to yourself, scrubbing the white sheet against a rock with more strength than you should. "He is an odd man. An odd man that does odd things."

"You like him."

"I don't!" You gasp when you realize that, perhaps, you said this way too loud. "I don't." You repeat with a controlled voice this time. "He is our boss. We shouldn't even think anything like this about him."

"Why not? He's handsome!" She exclaims. "He's the most handsome man in the entire town! Besides, he stares at you way too much."

"Stop it." You warn your annoying younger sister. "You know very well that people like him and people like us don't get involved."

People like Jeon Jungkook are rich. They can afford the most expensive types of fabric, the most gracious and strong horses, the most exotic types of tea. The Jeon family owns the small town you live in. His father is part of the government - which means he is the law itself. Everybody respects the Jeons… well, everybody fear the Jeons. 

Meanwhile, people like you work for people like him. You and your family live in a small house inside the Jeon's enormous farm; you, your siblings and your mother work as maids and cooks, while your father and your brothers take care of the animals. All of your clothes are reused and you have never tasted anything other than cheap tea. You don't ride any pure race horse because Master Jeon doesn't like the idea of his unworthy servants touching any of his awarded animals.

Yes, people like you and him definitely don't get involved.

That's why you are mad at yourself. You shouldn't feel nervous whenever Jungkook is around. Sure, he is handsome… maybe way too handsome for his own good. But he is nothing but a petty rich boy. He's exactly the type of man you should avoid.

"You're getting quite old, aren't you, sister?" The annoying girl continues, side eyeing you maliciously. "You should be searching for a husband already. Otherwise, soon no man will want you."

You don't say anything for a few seconds, still scrubbing that sheet as if the poor piece of fabric had cursed you. Your sister is somehow right. Most of your friends are already married - some of them are pregnant. You know you should hurry and start a family. It's not as if you want to be single forever.

But… you also don't want to marry any man. As foolish as it sounds, you're still waiting for someone to love.

Your mother says that you dream too much. You should stop reading those books and come back to reality, she said. You will not be young and beautiful forever. You should give Seokjin a chance. He is a good man, has a decent job and already showed interest in you.

Most of your friends told you the same.

But you heart does not flutter when you see Seokjin.

At least not the way it does when…

Stop.

You shake your head vehemently. "You should stop talking and start working," you say, throwing another wet sheet on the girl aggressively. She gasps and complains a "hey!"

You take the soap bar and start washing another sheet, still shaking your head as if to free yourself from these thoughts. 

But you can't help but lift your gaze for a quick moment.

Jungkook is standing there, caressing his horse's head. His eyes are not on the animal, but on you instead. He's way too far, so you can't see the details of his face, but he clearly has a small smile on his lips.

A smirk.

He didn't possibly hear your conversation with your sister, right? That's impossible. He's too far.

The young man shakes his head slightly and finally starts to guide the horse away by the reins, heading to the stables.

It takes a long time for your heart to beat at a normal pace again.

You wonder how is it possible that such a small family can dirty so many clothes.

The Jeon family isn't that big, but every week you're gifted with a ton of clothes to wash. And they're not just any clothes: Mrs. Jeon already made very clear that all of their clothes are made of the finest and richest types of fabric, and because of this, you had to be extremely careful when washing them. She also likes to point out how a single dress of hers or of her daughter is far more expensive than you'll ever be able to pay. This is enough of a warning for you to not damage them (even though sometimes you really want to). 

Washing the clothes isn't an easy task: you have to carry all of them in a basket to the river, and the process of scrubbing them against the rock is tiring and may take several hours. Many times, you're forced to sit under the scorching sun. After this, you have to carry them back, put them to dry on the sun, and then iron them to perfection - what, again, isn't an easy task; the iron is heavy and it is quite dangerous to use. The scar on your hand is a painful reminder of this. You have to repeat this process every week, just because your dear bosses can't wear the same dress twice - which doesn't even make sense. You have exactly three dresses, some skirts and some shirts. Even though your job gets you dirty all the time, you do your best to stay clean as much as possible.

If those bitches had to wash their clothes themselves, I'm sure they wouldn't wear so many.

Today, though, you're having more work than usual. None of your sisters or your mom could help you (usually, this is too tough to be done by one person); the Jeons will be holding a birthday party for their son, which means they were too busy cleaning the gigantic house to help you. You got up earlier than usual and came to the river, knowing that the sooner you'd start, the sooner you'd finish.

You completely lost sight of time, too focused on washing all the items from the basket. You have to stop from time to time to let your arms rest. You're sure that, soon, your biceps will be more muscular than your older brother's. You exhale heavily and wipe the sweat from your forehead with the back of your hand; at least, this is the last skirt.

That's when you hear a soft cough somewhere near.

You turn your head and gasp.

He is standing there. Way closer than the usual.

You immediately avoid his gaze.

"Mr. Jeon," you say. "You scared me."

"I apologize." Jungkook says, smiling. It's annoying how he always has this smile on his lips. It's annoying how he always looks handsome, it doesn't matter what he's wearing.

It's annoying how your heart starts beating faster and you feel a heat creeping on your neck.

"Did you need something, sir?" You ask, grabbing the skirt you've been scrubbing for the past few minutes. You try your hardest to pretend you're not affected by his presence. "Unfortunately, I can't help you now, but I'm sure that my mother and my sisters can."

"No, I don't need anything," he says, shaking his hands dismissively. "I'm just watching you." He tilts his head. "It seems like a tiring work."

You try your hardest not to roll your eyes. You bet, idiot. "It sure is a tiring work, sir."

"Oh, there's no need to call me 'sir'. You can call me Jungkook." His voice sounds annoyingly lighthearted.

"I can't. It would be inappropriate, sir." You reply, focusing your gaze on your hands as you pass more soap on the skirt, trying not to think about how he's annoyingly close. 

"Why?" He asks as if he doesn't already know why.

"You're my boss, sir. That's why I call you sir, sir." 

This time, you weren't able to hide the aggressiveness in your voice.

Jungkook frowns. At least he realized how his presence is unwanted… and he looks confused. As if he had never met a woman that didn't fawn over him.

Well… he probably didn't. 

You start to scrub the skirt again, completely ignoring his existence. With the corner of your eye, you can see Jungkook shifting uncomfortably. He's definitely not used to be ignored.

You have to learn one thing or two, rich boy.

After rinsing and wringing the skirt tightly, you sigh in relief. At least this is done. You put it back on the basket and get up, ready to walk back to where the clotheslines are.

"Oh, wait," you hear Jungkook exclaiming. Your heart almost stops beating when he rushes to your side. "This looks heavy. Let me help you."

"No!" You blink, realizing that perhaps you were a little too rude. "I mean- this is not necessary, sir. I can carry it by myself."

"I can't see a lady carrying so much weight and do nothing. Please, let me help."

You hate that smile. God, you hate it.

When he extends his arms, ready to grab the basket from your hands, you step away and look at him with worry and seriousness on your features.

"Sir, please. If your mother sees you helping me, she will not like it."

Jungkook stares at you with confusion.

Are you stupid?, you feel the urge to ask. Doesn't he know his own mother?

"She won't do anything, Y/N." Your eyes widen. You didn't know that Jungkook knew your name. "I can deal with her. Now, please, let me carry this. I just want to be polite."

You stare at him for a few seconds. Well, at least it seems that he really wants to help. You sigh, giving in, and nod. "Very well," you say.

He smiles again. He really has a mesmerizing smile.

When Jungkook takes the basket, he frowns and looks surprised. "This is heavier than I expected."

You asked for it!

You start walking side by side in an uncomfortable silence. You're sure that Jungkook thought you'd be happy or pleased, and he looks confused that you're clearly not. You don't want to be close to him. You don't want to see him smiling and trying to be polite. You don't want to feel your stomach twirling in excitement just because he's close or because he knows your name.

"Do you carry all this by yourself every time?" Jungkook asks at some point.

"I usually have my sisters' help. Sometimes we carry three or four baskets."

Jungkook lifts his eyebrows. Surprised? Can you tell your mother and sister to stop being dirty pigs that give us so much work, then?

Silence reigns above you again. It's painful. This farm is enormous, so it'll take some minutes of walking to arrive there. You don't think you'll be able to bear this.

"Actually," Jungkook starts all of sudden, sounding quiet and… hesitant. "I want to invite you to my birthday party tomorrow. I'd be really glad if you came."

He looks at you and smiles timidly.

This time, you can't hold back a huff.

Jungkook looks confused again.

"Are you serious?" You also forget to be polite.

"Of course I'm serious."

You smirk, but there's no hint of happiness on your smile. Your eyes look so mad that Jungkook is taken aback.

"Thank you for the invitation, sir," you say as you take the basket from his hands forcefully. "but servants are not allowed to attend parties."

You walk away at a fast pace. Jungkook at least has the decency to not follow you.

What is he thinking?!

His mother would kill you if she saw you there. You have no dress for such occasion; you'd be a joke. Imagine, you - a servant in a party where only the high society of this town would attend!

It's so ridiculous that you get mad.

You know what Jungkook wanted with this. You may be a dreamer, but you're not stupid. Men like him are used to seduce poor girls just for fun; they fool them, make them think that they love them, make them think that they're princes and that they came to give those girls a better life. But it all ends when they have enough of them or when they find a rich girl to marry. It's not as if he had any type of true interest in you. 

You're angry and sad.

People like you and people like Jungkook are not meant to be.

Two weeks have passed by when you meet him again.

As usual, you're kneeled down by the river, scrubbing a sheet against the surface of the rock. Since today there are less clothes to wash than the usual, you decided to come by yourself. As it always seems to happen, you got too immersed in your task to pay attention to your surroundings. This time, though, you have a reason to be so inattentive.

Your friends told you that Seokjin is planning to propose to you.

Seokjin is a good man. It seems that he genuinely cares about you. He's also very good-looking and polite. Any other woman would be happy to marry him.

But you don't want to marry someone just because of their looks.

At the same time, if you don't get married soon, you'll get a bad reputation.

What to do? You have no idea. Perhaps you should forget your own dreams and start listening to your mother…

"Good afternoon."

You gasp, startled, and the soap bar almost slips from your hands.

It's Jungkook again.

"Why must you always be so sneaky, sir?" You say, putting your hand over your chest.

Jungkook doesn't say anything - he just looks at you and the clothes instead, eyebrows furrowed. Were you really so inattentive or is Jungkook this silent?

He then pushes the sleeves of his shirt and kneels down by your side.

You widen your eyes as you see him taking one sheet from the basket.

"W-What are you doing?" You're frozen in place.

"I'm helping." He takes the soap bar from your hands. When his fingers touches yours, you shiver.

"Sir- there's no need-"

"I want to."

"What if someone sees you?!" 

Jungkook looks around. "There's nobody here. I doubt that someone will come."

You stare at him, jaw dropped, as Jungkook passes soap on the sheet. You notice he's trying to imitate your movements - except he's being much more aggressive.

You come back to your senses. "No. Stop!"

You put your hand over his, making him stop.

Your eyes meet.

You feel goosebumps.

"I-If you keep scrubbing like this, you'll end up ripping it off," you stutter, taking your hand off of his. "Don't put so much strength. Be more gentle."

Jungkook nods. You watch, too shocked to say anything, as he does what you said.

Silence falls over you two - but it's not an uncomfortable silence this time. You still can't tell exactly what's happening. For a while, you two just keep scrubbing clothes, the sound of the flowing river reigning.

Until you can't hold back a giggle.

"What?" He immediately asks. You shake your head, avoiding his gaze.

"I never thought I'd see a man washing clothes, sir." You admit. "It's quite interesting."

Jungkook shrugs. "I just didn't want to see you doing all this by yourself." He has to stop for a moment and take a deep breath - way sooner than you usually do. "This is more tiring than I thought it would be."

You giggle again. "Now, imagine doing this more than once per week, sir."

He frowns his eyebrows. After more scrubbing, he lifts the sheet with both hands and looks at you. Your stomach jumps in a funny way. His eyes are big and round in an innocent expression. "Is it clean now?"

"Not even close." 

Jungkook exhales and tilts his head in an adorable way. Why everything he does makes your heart flutter like this? 

"Let's work more, then." He says, taking the soap bar again.

You don't know why he is even trying.

But you can't say you're not enjoying it.

"What do you mean, you don't need help?" Your sister asks, completely confused.

You avoid her gaze and take the basket on your hands absently. "I can do this by myself today. Besides, you were a little sick, weren't you? You should rest."

"And since when do you care?"

"I always cared." You glare at her, offended. "I'm leaving now before you make me change my mind." 

Before she can say anything else, you walk out of the house carrying the heavy basket.

Of course I'm doing this because I care, you think, frowning. Of course. She had a fever. She has to rest today.

Of course I'm not doing this because I hope that Jungkook will show up again.

Of course not.

A strange heat reaches your neck.

You still don't know why the Jeon insisted on helping you. Any man would feel ashamed to do this type of work. Yet, Jungkook stayed with you until both of you finished washing all the items in the basket. 

He did not complain. He did not make any type of bad comment about you.

In fact, he didn't even try to court you. He just… talked to you.

This, itself, is already surprising.

You're used to being treated like nothing by people on his level. Rich people think that poor people aren't even people in the first place. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time a rich man tried to get under your skirt. Jungkook, however, was respectful all the time. He didn't treat you as if you were a brainless peasant. You talked about many things. Being around him didn’t feel overwhelming… it was comfortable.

You know you shouldn’t be craving for his company, but you do. After that day, every week you see yourself finding an excuse to go to the river alone, hoping that he will come - and he actually comes to help you. Jungkook learned how to wash clothes properly really fast. Every time he comes, you finish all the work pretty quickly, what disappoints you deep down, because you want more opportunities to spend time with him.

If back then you just felt attracted by Jungkook’s appearance… well, now you’re starting to feel something more.

Even though there’s a voice in your mind yelling that this won’t end up well.

You arrive at the usual spot by the river and place the basket on the floor, getting ready to  work. Unconsciously, you keep looking at your surroundings, hoping that his figure will peek in the horizon at any time. You already feel your heart beating rapidly with nervousness. He might not want to come today. He might have things to do. Why would he even want to come anyway? This is ridiculous-

“Searching for me, Y/N?” You scream, completely startled, when a voice says right by your side.

Jungkook laughs joyfully, satisfied with your reaction. You glare at him. “What’s your problem, sir?”

“It’s not my fault if you get scared so easily.” He shrugs, faking an innocent expression. He sits by your side and crosses his legs. Something you noticed recently is that Jungkook doesn’t exactly act like a gentleman - he walks around barefoot, laughs loudly, sits with crossed legs like he’s doing right now, and the stranger of all: helps a woman washing clothes. He definitely doesn’t act like all the other man you know. You always knew he was an odd man, but day after day it gets more surprising. “Did you miss me?”

“Certainly not.” you roll your eyes. “I was hoping that you wouldn’t come to bother me.”

What a liar.

“Sure.” Jungkook side eyes you suspiciously. “I can leave if you want… but then, I won’t give you the present I brought with me.”

“What?” you look at him, feeling your heart race. Did he bring you a present…?

“As I said, I’m won’t give you the present… unless you ask me to stay.” He says in a childish manner, a teasing glint in his eyes. He starts to get up as if to leave.

“Wait.” You call. Your pride screams in pain. Jungkook stops midway and waits for you to say something. You roll your eyes again (your eyes tend to roll a lot when he’s around). “Stay, please.”

He grins widely and sits down again, reaching for something in a bag behind him. “Since you told me you were tired of reading the same books, I thought you’d like this.”

Jungkook hands you a book happily.

Your breath almost gets caught on your throat.

“Sir, I… I can’t accept this,” you say, although you want to take the book.

“Why not?” He looks confused.

“B-Because… well… where did you take this book from?”

“From the library in my house.”

“What if they notice that one book is missing? What if someone caughts me with it?” You say, already feeling the fear underneath your skin.

“Did you see the size of that library? Do you know how many books are there?” he lifts his eyebrows. Yes, you know the Jeon’s gigantic library. You’ve dreamed of having a library like this many times. There are hundreds of books in it. “They will never notice that one book is missing. Besides, no one reads anything in that house. My mother just keeps the library for fashion.” Jungkook then takes your hand with his own - what makes a warmth spread through your body - and puts the book over it, the most beautiful smile on his lips. “There’s nothing to worry about, Y/N. Please, accept it.”

You stare at the book.  A strange sensation fills up your heart.

Jungkook remembered your conversation and paid attention to what you said. You are, indeed, tired of reading the same three books you own over and over again - books are expensive, your family can’t waste any money with anything other than food. Besides… most people usually don’t approve your liking for books. Your mother herself has already said that you shouldn’t even have learned how to read; she says that a woman must only know how to cook, how to clean and how to respect her husband. 

It’s the first time someone takes your interests seriously. This is the most thoughtful present you have ever received.

You can’t hold back a smile.

“I… I don’t know what to say.” you confess in a shy whisper. “Thank you so much, Jungkook.”

He gasps.

“You said my name.” He smiles widely. “It’s the first time you say my name.”

You feel your cheeks heating up. “D-Don’t get used to it.”

Jungkook laughs again, and this time, you laugh as well.

This strange sensation in your heart seems to be overflowing.

This won’t end up well.

“Do you know how to ride a horse?”

You frown, eyes focused on the shirt between your hands. “Not really, sir.”

“Would you like to learn?”

You stop and stare at him.

There’s that glint in Jungkook’s eyes - the glint that says he’s planning something.

“I confess I would like to, but I don’t have time. Nor permission.” You say, looking at the shirt again.

“Why? Your brothers ride the horses.” Again, it seems that Jungkook doesn’t know his own family.

“My brothers and my father are farmers. They need to ride the horses to take care of the herd.”

“Alright. But you want to learn, don’t you?”

You stop again and look at him suspiciously.

“What do you mean, sir?”

He smiles in a playful way, almost like a child. “I just thought that you would want to take a break from all the work.”

“Sir, I can’t take breaks.” You exclaim. Jungkook doesn’t understand that you can’t do whatever you want. “I have to work. What if someone caughts me?”

“You’ll be with me.”

“And? I’m sure nobody would do anything to you, but I’d certainly get punished.” After so long, you feel intimate enough to be a little rude to him. “You’ve already been very kind to me, giving me all those books. That’s enough, sir. I’m thankful.”

“But reading books isn’t nearly as fun as riding a horse.” His stubbornness can be annoying at times. “Come on, Y/N. Just once!”

“No. My family will notice that I’m taking too long to finish.”

“We almost finished way sooner than usual. Nobody will notice.”

“Sir-”

“Please?”

You freeze when he takes both of your hands in his.

Your heartbeat increases, your eyes widen. Jungkook doesn’t touch you so often - he is very polite - but when he does, your body reacts immediately. Being close to him can be a torture sometimes. He is good, intelligent, funny… and extremely handsome. You look forward to meeting him every week. At times, you’re way slower than usual, just to spend more time with him. 

Your feelings for him have grown quickly like fire spreading in the woods.

This won’t end up well, the voice insists to whisper on your ears angrily.

Jungkook has his big pleading eyes staring at you. 

This won’t end up well. This won’t end up well. This won’t end up well. This won’t end up-

“Alright,” you sigh, giving in. Jungkook giggles excitedly. “But just today! And not for too long.”

Jungkook helps you to get up and guides you to his horse: a beautiful all-brown animal, tall and strong. This horse is probably healthier than me, you think. Master Jeon values his awarded horses a lot… more than his own family.

"Come. He's a very calm animal. He won't hurt you." Jungkook encourages, offering his hand for you to take. You look around, worried that someone might be watching. You're glad that this farm is so incredibly big and that your usual spot by the river is so far from the plantations, the main house and the stables where everyone usually stays.

At the same time, sheer excitement bubbles inside of you.

You take Jungkook's hand.

He helps you to sit on the horse's back. "Stay calm," Jungkook advises. "He can feel if you're nervous or not."

"I'm not nervous," you state, holding the reins the way you've always seen your brothers doing. 

He keeps giving you instructions before guiding the horse slowly for a while. The animal is very obedient; it follows Jungkook's commands without complaining. 

"Do you think you can guide it by yourself now?" He asks. You nod confidently.

"Yes."

Jungkook steps away.

He can't hide his utter shock when he sees you riding the animal as if you were born doing so.

The horse obeys you easily as you guide him around. Soon, you feel brave enough to ride faster. The speed, the wind on your face and hair, the excitement of doing something you shouldn't - all of this makes you laugh at the top of your lungs.

Perhaps Jungkook was right when he said that riding horses is funnier than reading books…

"I have to admit, I'm impressed," he says when you stop by his side again. "You didn't even need help."

"Well, I've been watching my father doing this my whole life." You shrug. 

"But why did you stop?"

"Because this is enough for today." You say even though it disappoints you. "I don't want to put myself in danger. Can you help me…?"

Jungkook lifts his arms, ready to pick you up. You put your hand on his shoulders.

You lose balance and almost fall. Jungkook catches your body in time.

You freeze.

His hands are firmly placed on each side of your waist; your hands are on his chest. You're way too close.

Your faces, millimeters apart.

Dangerously close.

He's so close that you can feel his breath. So close that you can see every little detail on his face. So close that you feel your whole body heat up. So close that you can feel his heart beat rapidly under your palm.

So close that, if you simply leaned your head forward, your lips would touch.

And you really, really want to.

But you step back. 

"Hm… thank you." You avoid his gaze, embarrassed. You've never been this close to a man before… and Jungkook's not just any man. He's the man that makes your heart beat fast and the man that understands and respects you and the man that doesn't underestimate you. He's the man who you can talk to, who you can laugh with, who always manages to brighten your day.

He is the right man.

But, at the same time, he is the wrong man.

That's why you step back. That's why you walk away with your head lowered.

Because it doesn't matter how much you want it - you and him will never end up well.

This week, Jungkook brought two horses.

You got surprised and excited, but pretended to be angry. I said that I'd do it once, sir!

But here you are - riding by his side.

Jungkook let you ride the same brown horse again, since the animal might be more familiarized with you. You completely lost sight of time, too entertained in the feeling of freedom that riding a horse can provide.

You're also lost in Jungkook's beauty.

He looks astonishing: his strong arms, his veiny hands holding the reins with ease. The way his soft hair bounces and waves with the wind. His confident posture. 

You had to stop looking - otherwise you'd fall from the horse.

You're so entertained that you don't care when the sky becomes dark with heavy storm clouds. 

"Sir, it's raining!" You scream so he can hear. Not that you needed to say anything: thunder echoes around you, and the first heavy drops starts falling from the sky. You're worried. Everybody knows that being in an open field under a storm is never a good idea.

"It's too late to try to go back to the house," Jungkook says. "We need coverage!"

Without saying anything else, you follow him down the hill at a fast pace, the heavy rain whipping your faces and bodies. You realize where Jungkook is heading to: the warehouse. You manage to put yourselves and the horses inside of the empty building.

Your heart beats fast with adrenaline. Jungkook laughs, looking at his damp clothes. You're not better than him. Usually, you'd be angry with this situation… but now, all you can do is laugh as well.

"We should pay more attention next time," you say. Your clothes and hair are dripping.

"But it was fun, wasn't it?" Jungkook asks. You shrug and smile. The noise of the wind and the water hitting against the warehouse's ceiling violently is unsettling and loud.

"I love to see you smile."

You freeze.

What…?

Jungkook is looking at you with a sweet smile on his lips. His eyes, however, are clouded with something you've never seen before. It's enough to make your stomach twirl and a shiver run underneath your skin.

He steps closer.

This won't end up well.

This time, though, you don't back away.

You stand firm, gaze locked with his, as Jungkook puts a strand of wet hair behind your ear.

All you can hear is the beating of your heart. All you can see is his face.

This won't end up well.

Jungkook analyzes your features carefully, almost as if he's searching for something.

"I know this might sound strange," he says, his voice almost disappearing between the loud noises of the storm. "But sometimes, when I look at you, I… I feel that I already know you."

"But you know me." You whisper back.

"No. I mean… I mean that it feels like I've known you for a long time. More time than I can remember…"

It confuses you.

But, at the same time, it makes sense.

Being with Jungkook feels… familiar. Almost like a distant childhood memory. Something you can't picture or explain. You just know that it's there; it exists.

Your feelings for him.

This familiarity is still there when Jungkook closes the distance and kisses you; when your lips move slowly, in synchronicity, with raw passion. It feels new but familiar when his hands touch your body and when you feel his warm skin under his clothes. Even though it's the first time, the weight of his body over yours seems familiar. The way your members entangle, your fingers gripping his hair, his lips on your neck, the heat, the sweat, the pleasure.

It feels familiar.

It feels like home. 

And it feels bittersweet. 

Because, deep down… the voice that says that this won't end up well is still echoing.

Something tells you that you should believe it.

"Sister, are you alright?" 

You hold your stomach with one hand and wipe your mouth with the back of the other hand. The horrible taste of vomit washes your mouth.

"Y-Yes. It was probably something I ate-"

More vomit erupts through your lips. Your sister puts her hand on your back and pats it gently. 

"But if it was something you ate, then all of us should be feeling sick as well." She says. "You must be sick. We should call the doctor. I'll tell mom-"

You hold her hand tightly.

"Don't tell mom." You say firmly. "I'm alright."

Your sister frowns, confused. "But, Y/N, you've been feeling unwell for some days. What if it's something serious? What if…"

She blinks rapidly.

"What if…?"

You see the moment her astute eyes gleam with realization.

"Sister… are you…?"

"Am I what?" You ask in a defensive manner - trying to hide your fear.

Her jaw is dropped, eyes widened.

"How could you?!" She half whispers, half screams. You watch as a mix of feelings surface on her eyes; anger, betrayal, confusion, worry. "You're not married yet! What will people say about you when they notice-?!"

"Notice what?!" You don't want to hear the words. If she says it, it'll become real. It can't be real.

"I saw you with him. I saw you with Jungkook."

Freezing fear creeps on you.

"I followed you some days ago and saw you together. Do you think I wouldn't notice that something was wrong? You've been insisting to wash the clothes by yourself for months. Everyone knows you hate to do this!"

You don't know what to say. 

You feel stupid. Desperate. Scared.

You don't even notice when the tears start streaming down your cheeks.

"I don't know what to do." You whisper weakly.

Your sister shakes her head. "Did he propose to you, at least? You must marry him now. It's the only way to regain your honor."

You shake your head. "I… I'll talk to him. I must talk to him today."

The girl swipes her hand over her face as she starts to feel desperate for you. "Why did you let him do this to you, Y/N…?"

"You don't understand." You're quick to say. "We love each other. We… we'll figure out what to do. We'll find a way out."

You know you're just saying this to calm yourself down. You have no idea if you'll figure out what to do. You don't even know what Jungkook's reaction will be when he finds out…

That's the only thing in your mind as you wait for him, leaning under a tree. Your fingers are shaking, your breathing is short and rapid. What if Jungkook abandons me? What will I do? My parents will never forgive me. No one will help me at the town. They'll be ashamed of me and they'll hate me.

You should have figured that this would happen. After all these nights when you sneaked out of your house to meet him…  The tears start falling again, followed by quiet sobs. You destroyed your life. A dishonored woman. A prostitute…

"Y/N, what's wrong?!"

You see Jungkook running to you, worry covering his features the moment he realizes you're crying. He holds your face with both hands. "What happened? Did someone hurt you? Something happened with your family?"

The uncontrollable sobs won't let you speak. Instead, you just let yourself cry as Jungkook hugs you tightly, even though he doesn't understand what's happening.

It takes a long time for you to calm down.

"J-Jungkook…" you step away from him. Your eyes are glued to the floor. You're not brave enough to look at him and see his reaction.

"Yes, darling? What happened?" He asks, voice full of worry and care.

You gulp.

He has to know.

"I-I'm pregnant." 

Silence.

The silence lasts for so long that you think he didn't hear.

You finally have the courage to look up at him…

And you see Jungkook's eyes welled up with tears, the most beautiful smile adorning his lips.

"Pregnant?" He whispers weakly as the first tear trickles down his cheek. "You're pregnant?"

"...yes."

"Am I going to be a father?" 

"Yes."

Jungkook laughs and engulfs you in a hug.

From all the reactions you thought of, this is the one you were least expecting - but that's the one you were secretly hoping for the most. Jungkook hugs you tightly, kisses the top of your head, your forehead, your cheeks, your lips, whispering "I love you"s in between. You're so astonished that you have no reaction at all.

"You made me the happiest man in the world today, Y/N," he grins widely and sniffs. "I'll be a father! You're carrying our child!"

"Are you really happy?" You ask timidly, almost suspicious.

"Why wouldn't I be?! I love you." He holds your face and kisses your lips sweetly. "I love you. God, I love you."

You feel overwhelmed by his words. A smile finally appears on your lips.

"What will we do, Jungkook?" Your voice still sounds weak. "We should get married…"

This is the moment his smile faces away.

His features change in an instant - from utter joy, to deep concern. He frowns and blinks, licks his lips.

"We need to do something." He agrees.

"You must talk to my parents-"

"We need to run away from here."

You gasp.

"Run away? Why?" You ask, confused. "If we get married as soon as possible, people won't notice-"

"No. We need to leave the town. We need to disappear." The hurry and worry in his voice makes you uneasy.

"Jungkook, I have a family. I can't leave them behind."

"Darling, you don't understand," he cups your cheeks again. "My father, he's- he's dangerous. He would never accept our marriage. I don't know what he might do to you if he finds out…"

You've heard rumors before. People feared Master Jeon at the town, it was common knowledge. You've heard people saying how he could be ruthless when he wanted. But you never thought he would do anything worse than some threatening.

However, Jungkook is his son. He knows Master Jeon better than you do. If his son looks so frightened of what his own father might do…

Fear makes your body temperature decrease.

"I will protect your family." Jungkook continues. "I'll make sure that nothing bad happens to them and I'll find a way to take them out of here. But, first, we need to leave. As soon as possible."

Jungkook places his hand over your stomach in a reassuring way.

"I will never let anyone hurt you. I will protect you and our child."

The confidence in which he says this makes your heart feel warm. 

You trust him.

The small inn is nearly empty, but it doesn't make you any less nervous. Your heart is tight with insecurity and worry. You did everything Jungkook said: you left the house in the middle of the night, you didn't tell anything to your family (what was so painful that made you cry all the way out of the farm), you just brought a small case with a few clothes (not that you own many anyway). He asked you to wait here while he prepares everything. You plan to disappear tonight.

You put your hand on your belly and caress it; it's still hard to believe that there's someone growing inside of you, that in a few months you'll have a baby in your arms. The idea is terrifying… and reassuring. This child is the proof of your love. You love each other - and this love is so great that you couldn't keep it to yourselves only; this child is the result. It doesn't matter that you're not married yet or that life will definitely be more difficult from now on. You already love this child.

A small smile adorns your lips as the image of a baby boy with Jungkook's big eyes appears in your mind.

Everything will be alright. We have each other.

But you can't fight the insecurity and the growing anxiety.

You desperately want this to work out. You want to spend the rest of your life with Jungkook… but that pessimistic voice still echoes in your head, even though you've been trying to shut it. Almost as if… almost as if you've already faced a great disappointment in the past.

This feeling doesn't make sense. You would have remembered such suffering.

As time goes by, you start to get even more impatient and nervous. Your heart feels tight in a way you never felt before. What if something went wrong? Why is Jungkook taking so long?

That's when you hear the door cracking open behind you.

You immediately get up and smile, relief lifting the invisible weight from your shoulders. "Jungkook, I thought-"

When you turn around, the smile on your lips dies.

You're paralyzed.

Unconsciously, you take one step back.

"M-Master Jeon." You whisper weakly.

The man stares at you in a way that makes you feel small.

He enters the room and closes the door behind him. You take another step back.

He analyzes you from head to toe. His eyes are as cold as ice, as sharp as blades and as judging as the eyes of an executor. You feel impossibly cold. Your throat is dry. There's an acrid taste in your tongue.

This man always scared you. He barely even interacted with you in all the years that you and your family worked for him, but in the few times he did, it was always unpleasant. He treated your father badly, but this was nothing out of the extraordinary; his wife was equally awful to you, your mother and sisters. You always thought he was just another rich and arrogant man like many others you've met.

Tonight, however, you see in those eyes something you've never noticed and you've never seen in anyone.

He isn't just an arrogant man.

He represents real danger.

Master Jeon smirks. 

You instinctively put your hands on your stomach. Master Jeon follows the action with his eyes and tilts his head.

"I can't tell if you were smart or naive," the man starts. His voice makes your bones feel frozen. "I can't blame you for wanting a better life, kid. I guess that's all people like you dream of. But you choose the wrong person to take advantage of."

Your breathing is difficult. "W-What do you mean?"

"Don't play stupid with me, girl." He warns. "This situation is really bothersome. See, I let you and your family live in my property, let you eat my food and drink my water… and that's how you act with me? Try to trick my son? That's very low of you."

Your face contorts in disgust when you realize what he means. "You think I seduced Jungkook?! You're wrong! We love each other!"

"Don't make me laugh, kid." Master Jeon shakes his head as if he's reprimanding a little stubborn child. "Love you? Hah! You're a nobody." His eyes, once again, analyze you from head to toe. "I can't blame Jungkook for falling to your charms, though. It would be such a waste if he simply ignored you."

The disgust deepens. The way he talks about you makes you feel dirty. 

"But you see, kid, I'm not an evil man." He sarcastically says. "I don't like the idea of hurting women, a pregnant woman on top of that. I'm a good christian. And because of that, I'll give you a chance of ending this uncomfortable situation."

"I don't want to hear it," you say, although you felt your whole body shivering when he talked about hurting women. "You can't buy me. You can't separate me and Jungkook."

Master Jeon laughs darkly.

"Oh, darling. I can." Another shiver runs down your spine. "I want you to disappear forever. There's a carriage out there waiting for you. You'll never see my son again. Like this, you can give birth to your child peacefully and live your life as if you've never met him."

"No!" The anger overwhelms the fear and you end up screaming. "Jungkook is the father! You can't separate a father from his child!"

Master Jeon laughs as if you just told the funniest joke he ever heard. "Oh, you think you're so important, don't you? This child is a nobody, just like you. Jungkook made a mistake. He's a young man! Men make mistakes like this all the time. We're imperfect beings, after all. Don't you think that just because you're pregnant he has any responsibility over your child."

You're so shocked that you don't know what to say; your sight seems painted in red with pure anger. 

"You can't control me. You can't control us." Your fists tighten. "I won't leave."

Master Jeon's jaw clenches.

When he speaks again, his voice is dangerously low. 

"I said that I don't like the idea of hurting you… but what about your family, huh?"

You feel the world crumbling under your feet.

"W-What…?"

"Your family… a bunch of hungry rats. You've never really done a good job, in my opinion. Maybe it's time to get rid of all of them?"

Your hands start shaking.

"W-What do you m-mean…?"

"Do you know where my men are right now, kid?" A glint of satisfaction crosses Master Jeon's eyes when he sees your panic. "They're surrounding your small house. One order… and they'll burn it down. Your parents and your siblings are fast asleep right now, huh? I wonder how long will it take until they notice the fire…"

"No!"

Out of your wildest instincts, you throw yourself over him, fists tight, trying to hurt him everywhere you can touch. It's useless, though, for Master Jeon is overwhelmingly stronger than you and manages to grip your wrists in an instant.

"See how easily I can destroy your life?" He hisses. "Nobody would even notice that you and your family disappeared. That's because you're nothing, Y/N. You don't exist. This child doesn't exist. I won't let my son waste more time with you." Tears are rolling down your cheeks at this point. You've never been so scared in your life. "The only way to protect your family is to leave. So, what do you choose, huh?"

You look at Master Jeon right in the eye.

You know he isn't lying. You know this isn't the first time he kills someone - and he doesn't even feel guilty about it.

He just doesn't care.

You think of your family. They can't be punished because of your actions.

More than that… you think of your child. Their life depends on yours. You can't be imprudent anymore. 

You think of Jungkook.

It hurts so much that it feels as if you've been physically impalled. But, weakly and hesitantly, you nod.

"... I'll leave."

Master Jeon smiles, satisfied, and lets go of your wrists. "Good girl."

You don't have any strength to walk as Master Jeon's men take you to the carriage. The tears fall nonstop, you can't choke the sobs. You didn't even say goodbye to your family. They would never know what happened to you; you think of how painful it will be to your parents, searching for their daughter, never knowing if she's alive or not…

Jungkook will think you ran away from him. He'll never meet his own child. He'll never take them in his arms. 

You will never be in his arms once again.

You hug your own body, feeling empty and cold.

Why is the Universe so cruel to you? Why did it make you and Jungkook be part of completely different worlds? 

Why can't it let you be together?

You almost feel as if there are invisible shackles chaining your wrists tightly.

Only if you were not you, and he was not him… if you had different lives…

Quietly, you swear to yourself… if there is another life, then I'll go after Jungkook.

I will never give up on him.

I will never rest until we can finally be together.

× 1914 × 

"Sir," Jungkook starts, nervousness very evident in his posture and voice. "I love your daughter."

You nervously watch your father's reaction. He doesn't move, watching Jungkook very carefully. You fiddle with your fingers nervously. Your mother caresses your back, trying to calm you down at least a little.

"I promise I will take care of her, protect her and respect her until my last days." At the same time you feel touched, you also want to laugh. Jungkook is speaking in such a serious voice - he usually doesn't talk like this. It's endearing and makes your heart feel warm. "I will never hurt her or let her down. I ask you to approve our union, sir." He coughs and shifts. "Hmm… Please."

You try your hardest not to laugh, and so does your mother. God, he's adorable.

Your father still stares at Jungkook very seriously (threateningly) for long seconds. Long. Long. Seconds.

Jungkook is trying his best not to gulp.

"I know you since you were a kid, Jungkook. I know you very well." He gets up from the couch. "That's why I can't…"

Jungkook holds his breath.

So do you.

Your father finally breaks a smile.

"That's why I can't say no. You have my blessing."

Jungkook sighs in relief.

You get up in a jump and hug him, letting an excited scream slash the air. The atmosphere in the room immediately becomes light-hearted. 

"You didn't need to scare him so much, darling," your mother reprimands, although she has a smile on her lips. "We all knew you'd say yes."

"I had to put some pressure on him." Your father smiles widely and shakes Jungkook's hand. "I'm glad that you'll be part of our family, son." He then pushes Jungkook closer and his smile disappears. "But if you ever make my daughter cry, I will kill you."

"Darling!" Your mother exclaims.

You laugh and intertwine your fingers with his.

Jungkook and you are childhood friends - and you're in love with him ever since you can remember. He is not only your lover, but also your best friend. This is the moment you've been waiting for a long time; in a strange way, you always knew it would be him. It almost feels as if you've been perfectly crafted for each other. 

Your and Jungkook's families are very close. The village you live in is thriving and pacific. You're excited to tell your friends the good news; honestly, it seems that entire village knew it would happen someday.

Life is good.

And it is about to be even better now.

Nothing can put you and Jungkook apart.

You're walking down the street towards the grocery store in the morning when you notice a strange commotion.

The central square is more crowded than usual. There's an uncommon heavy tension hovering in the air; people talk to each other with worried expressions. Even Jungkook is standing outside of the grocery store, discussing with a neighbor. A frown shadows his features.

"Good morning." You greet the men. "What's happening?"

"Didn't you read the journal today?" Jungkook asks. His expression worries you even more.

He hands you the newspaper. 

The headline is written in bold, capital letters.

"War?" You mutter. It feels as if your inner temperature immediately decreases. "B-But… why?"

"Those important men," the old man who Jungkook was talking to scoffs. "They want to fight between themselves and end up involving everyone else!"

"B-But this is big." you mutter as your eyes quickly read down the page. Now you understand why everyone seemed so tense. "How many countries are involved…?"

"It seems that the troops are already marching." Another man says.

You just notice that your fingers were shaking when Jungkook holds your hand in a reassuring way.

You look at each other.

"This sounds horrible, Jungkook." 

"I know." He nods. "But I doubt that it will last too long. Besides, we're more than safe. This village is so far from anywhere important. We won't even notice anything."

You nod as well, staring at his reassuring eyes.

Of course, the news that a war started are bad. But Jungkook is right. There's no way you'll be involved in this. It's not as if it will be able to prevent your wedding.

It's not as if it can put you and Jungkook apart.

The living room of your house is dead silent.

The place is full of people: your family, neighbors, everyone sat on the couch, chairs or on the floor. The windows are opened, and there are even more neighbors peeking from them, trying to listen to the radio. Since your family is one of the few that possesses this device, you father made sure to invite everyone to listen to the news.

Every word spoken by the radio host seems to be striking through you. 

"Jesus Christ," your mother whispers. She holds the small crucifix close to her chest.

Hundreds. Thousands of dead soldiers, from many nationalities. Not only that: civilian cities have been bombarded as well. The number of dead is so great that the authorities have trouble counting them.

Something heavy and dark called grief hovers above your heads.

You grip Jungkook's hand even tighter. 

Your village is safe…

Right?

You sit quietly at the back of the grocery store and watch Jungkook finally close the doors at night. He looks tense and worried - like everyone else is.

"Look at these shelves. Almost empty." He sighs heavily, putting his hands on each side of his waist. "There's barely any merchandise; they don't sell us anything anymore. They give all the food to feed the soldiers in the battlefield."

"I think they need it more than we do." You say in all honesty.

"Well, yes, but soon we won't have any food."

Jungkook pushes a chair and sits in front of you. Your knees touch, you hold each other's hands. He looks so tired and drained. The war is starting to affect everyone: this grocery store is the only one in the village, and since the food is becoming so scarce, everyone suffers. 

"Jungkook…" you call quietly. He lifts his gaze to look at you. "I was thinking… maybe we should postpone our wedding."

"Why?" He frowns.

"Well… things are so difficult." You shrug sadly. "Besides, I don't think there's any atmosphere for weddings right now."

"Hey!" Jungkook leans closer and puts his hand on your cheek affectionately. "Don't say that. Of course, we won't be able to offer a big party like we imagined, but it doesn't matter, right? We can't let this bother us. We've been dreaming of this moment for years."

You sigh. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." He smiles. You love his smile. You love the way his eyes smile as well every time his lips do. "The situation doesn't matter… as long as we're together."

You can't help but smile, too.

"As long as we're together."

In one week, you’ll finally get married.

But you’re far from feeling happy.

There’s barely any food in the village. Past week, soldiers inspected every house and took the animals with themselves; they just let one chicken per family, and considering that many families didn’t even have animals in the first place, many of them are starting to face famine. Luckily, all the villagers are very united, so everyone made sure to share their food stock.

When you saw those soldiers arriving in the cars, you body paralyzed in sheer panic. Up until now, the war didn’t really seem real. You heard the news on the radio, on the journal, you knew that thousands of soldiers and civilians were dying. When food started to become scarce, it was bothersome, but it still felt too far. When those men wearing uniforms came, though, reality hit you all at once. 

The soldiers weren’t very polite. They entered the houses and took the animals without many explanations - what, of course, angered some people.

“Sir, you can’t take our animals like this!” one of your neighbors complained. When he spoke up, everyone on the main square went dead silent. “We have families, children! If you take our animals, we won’t have anything to eat!”

One of the soldiers - the one with the highest ranking, apparently - approached the man at heavy steps. His eyes reflected some type of anger and impassivity you’ve never seen before.

The eyes of someone who saw too much.

“Your compatriots are dying at this exact moment in the trenches.” His hard voice echoed around the square. “They’re agonizing, being dismembered, being taken away from their families. Offering your animals without complaints is the least thing you can do to minimize their pain. There is a war happening right now, sir. There are more important things to care about other than your family.”

No one dared to say anything else after this.

You feel that you already lost some kilos you shouldn’t have lost. Your dresses and skirts seem larger than they were supposed to be. You try not to complain about it, though; the kids needed to eat more than you, after all, especially now that winter is coming. The temperature at night already feels too cold.

The main square used to be a bright and happy place, even at night, when villagers liked to take late night walks. These days, though, people don’t have the courage to walk at night anymore. It seems that, ever since the war started, the colors of the world are fading away slowly. Everything seems… grey.

“They’re saying that this is the war to end all wars.” Jungkook says quietly. Since the square is empty, you two can have some privacy. Yet, it feels lonely. “But at what cost?”

You sigh heavily. The journals and radio are constantly spreading speeches full of patriotism, trying to make people support the war, but you can’t agree with any of them. Civilian villages like yours and the many others around the country have nothing to do with this war, nor the poor soldiers sent to fight. No one cares about patriotism or honor when a dead body is all that lasted from a loved one.

“But it could be worse,” you say. Small clouds of steam are formed at each breathing. “At least our village isn’t near the front. I can’t even imagine how much these people are suffering.”

Jungkook intertwines his fingers with yours. His cheeks are hollower and he has purple bags under his eyes; he also lost weight. You don’t like to see him like this. “When we planned our wedding months ago, this is not how I expected it to be.”

“Neither did I.” you admit sadly. This feeling of grief seems to be hovering above the village - and the world - all the time; no one feels excited about your wedding. “Are you sure we should still get married, Jungkook? Shouldn’t we wait a little bit more?”

“We can’t give up now that we’re so close.” He always finds the strength to smile when you need him the most. “I… I feel sorry that our wedding won’t be what we expected. I wish we could get married at better times, too. But… we’ll be together. That’s what matters, isn’t it?”

You can’t help but smile and nod.

Yet, something tells you that Jungkook doesn’t want to postpone your wedding because of some darker reason. A reason you don’t really want to consider.

Jungkook puts his arm around your shoulders and pulls you closer, pressing his lips on your temple. “I love you.” he whispers.

“I love you, too.”

In this world full of violence and uncertainty, at least one thing is certain: your love for each other.

That’s when you hear the sound.

It’s far. So far that, for a while, you simply ignore it.

But it becomes louder.

“A thunder?” you wonder, frowning. You and Jungkook look up at the sky at the same time; the clouds don’t look like storm ones. 

The sound repeats.

Both of you sit straight and look at each other. It doesn’t sound like a thunder anymore. 

Some villagers come out of their houses or look through the windows. Just like you, they stare at the sky in confusion.

Jungkook stands up and stares at north, eyes widened. 

You look at the same direction.

Far away, the dark sky lights up - but not in the way that it does when a lightning slashes the air. The light has a reddish color to it. It doesn’t fade away so fast.

The floor trembles under your feet.

“Y/N,” Jungkook calls. His voice sounds quiet, almost too shocked, and worried. “Go home. Now.”

You hear the villagers gasping and getting into their houses again as realization hits them as well.

Bombs.

In the next morning, your village is crowded with soldiers.

None of you were able to sleep at night. The unstoppable sound of the bombs and planes didn’t let you blink an eye. The sounds still seemed to be considerably far, but they were enough to make the floor shake and your worst nightmares become reality.

When the sounds finally stopped, a deep silence reigned.

Some hours after, early in the morning, the sound of cars took place. Cars, carriages and male voices.

Many voices.

Your father didn’t let you and your mother leave the house. You two had to sit there and wait for seemingly endless hours to know what was happening. The nervousness seemed to be eating you up alive.

Finally, your father came back. You and your mother get up at the same time, anxious.

“What’s happening?” you ask in a hurried tone.

You father passes his hand on his head. He looks shocked, worried and scared - all at once.

“A village some kilometers away from here was bombarded last night.” He announces. Your mother gasps and puts her hand over her chest. You just stare at him, frozen in place.

“A-And what are the soldiers doing here?”

His gaze rests in you.

You don’t like that gaze.

“Y/N, they… they…”

“They what?” fear starts to take control. You notice your father holds a folded piece of paper. “What is this?”

You forcefully take the paper from his hands and open it.

“They are spreading this around the village,” your father’s voice sounds somehow guilty.

You can’t move.

“What’s happening, darling?” your mother asks.

No.

“They came to recruit all the young and healthy men to fight in the war.”

Your fingers are shaking. Your eyes are already full of tears.

Jungkook.

You run out of the house, ignoring your parents screaming at you, asking you to stop.

You don’t care that it’s too cold and you’re not wearing appropriate clothes. You don’t care that the city is completely full of soldiers and some of them yell inappropriate comments about you as you run by. You don’t care about the way your neighbors look at you.

They can’t take Jungkook. They can’t.

When you reach the main square, though, your heart drops.

All the young men are standing in lines. The youngest is probably only fourteen years old; the boy cries quietly, trying to choke his own sobs. 

“Don’t take my son away from me!” a woman screams, being held back by other villagers. “He’s just a boy! Please!”

“Shut up, woman!” a soldier screams back at her in a threatening way. 

More people are crying quietly. The sight almost looks like a funeral.

Then, you find him.

He’s already standing there, jaw clenched, fists tight, eyes glued on his feet.

“Jungkook!”

He lifts his gaze.

You see the worry. The anger. The fear. Jungkook has never looked so scared in his life. 

And this is what breaks you.

You try to run to him, but a soldier holds you back. Jungkook looks at you, helpless, as you struggle in a desperate attempt to fight the soldier. Your sight is blurred due to the tears.

“No! You can’t take him! You can’t take him! Jungkook!”

That’s why he didn’t want to postpone the wedding.

He knew that this could happen anytime.

“Stop it, bitch!” the soldier yells and pushes you violently. Your shoulder hits the hard ground and you groan in pain.

“Don’t touch her!”

A commotion starts when Jungkook throws himself over the soldier and punches his face. The young boys don’t know what to do; the villagers can just watch in shock; other soldiers move quickly. Three of them are necessary to take Jungkook away from the soldier. You scream, desperate, when they start to punch and kick him. 

Jungkook lays on the floor, nose bleeding, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“It seems that you already want to start your days in the military with a punishment!” a soldier yells mockingly and spits on him. “This one won’t last a day in the front.”

The front?!

You try to get up, but suddenly feel too weak to do so. Instead, you grab the boot of a soldier nearby. The man looks down at you.

“P-Please,” you whisper. The sobs won’t let you speak properly. “Don’t take him away from me.”

The man stares at you in silence. However, his gaze over you is different from the other soldiers; he looks tired, sad and compassionate. Although he probably has no authorization, he helps you to get up with care.

“I’m sorry.” is all that he can say before walking away.

Panic grows stronger when two soldiers take Jungkook from the floor rather roughly and start dragging him away. 

All the other young men start to march as well, following the orders. Mothers and fathers around you cry harder. Their sons yell their farewells and promises to stay safe.

But you refuse to say goodbye.

“Jungkook! Jungkook!” again, you try to run to him, but a different person holds you back this time: your father. Your voice cracks. You can’t stop crying.

He looks at you behind his shoulder; the soldiers won’t stop dragging him. The fact that the glint of happiness you know so well can’t be seen in his eyes kills you.

The fact that, once again, Jungkook tries to smile in a reassuring way even though he’s bleeding and crying kills you even more.

“I love you,” he says, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I’ll always love you. I’ll always come back to you.”

He disappears inside one of the cars.

You scream until your throat hurts. You cry until your chest aches and your sight is unclear. Your parents don’t let you run after the car as the troops leave the village, taking all the young and healthy men with them.

Taking the love of your life with them.

And you couldn’t even touch him one last time.

× 1915 ×

You don’t look at yourself in the mirror anymore.

You know that you’re way too thin, way too drained out of any life that still lasted inside of you. Long gone is the happy girl you used to be. She is dead.

It seems that happiness itself disappeared from this world.

Many villagers died during the year due to famine, diseases, or the severe winter. Soldiers came to the village to take as many clothes they could find - the army needed fabric to make more uniforms. It seems that the sun doesn’t shine as much as it used to. The sky isn’t as blue. Birds don’t chirp anymore.

You don’t even feel too shocked anymore when you hear the terrifying sirens and the sound of bombers from far and you’re all forced to hide in the few deep enough basements in the village.

The only thing you do is wonder where he is.

You didn’t receive any letter. Any report. Nothing. But you know he is alive, because no one came to your house bringing a folded flag and a medal as they always do to honor a fallen soldier.

Many of the boys that were forcefully dragged into the war have fallen.

But Jungkook hasn’t. This is what brings you hope. This is why you sit close to the radio day and night in the hopes to hear any news, any hint of his whereabouts. For weeks, the radio is silent, meaning that something broke the connection. But it always starts working again.

He will come back. 

You managed to hide your wedding dress from the soldiers. It’s still inside the wardrobe, untouched.

× 1916 ×

One morning, someone knocks on your front door.

You dreamed of this moment multiple times. The moment when Jungkook would come back, safe and sound, wearing a uniform. He would smile and hug you. His body and soul might be hurt, but you’re sure that you could help him get over whatever horrors he witnessed. 

You could face anything together. 

But you already know it isn’t him before you open the door. 

Instead, another soldier stands in front of you.

He carries a perfectly folded flag in his arms.

In this moment, something inside of you dies.

You lost sight of time.

An hour might have passed by. A day, a week. You have no idea. You cried yourself asleep so many times that it made difficult to know.

The flag doesn’t smell like him. It doesn’t represent him. Still, you hug it close to your chest as if it was him. The fabric is humid with your endless tears. 

Why is the Universe so cruel?

Why couldn’t it simply wait one week? 

Why did you have to be born in a world full of violence, full of death?

You don’t understand why the chains of fate chose to punish you of all people. You just wanted to be with the love of your life. That’s all you ever wanted.

Now, he’s gone. You’ll never see him, touch him, hear his voice. Whenever you think of how he possibly died, more and more tears come. The person you loved the most in the world, the kindest man you’ve ever met - lonely, cold, hungry and hurt in a filthy trench.

The last reminiscent of his existence is the letter laying beside you - the letter you weren’t brave enough to read.

You remembered the soldier that came to bring you the flag: he was the same man from two years ago that helped you to get up. With an amputated leg, he was too injured to keep fighting and was sent back home. But he insisted on coming himself to your village.

“My name is Jimin,” he explained quietly. He looked sad, his eyes were devoid of any bright feeling. “I fought alongside Jungkook in the same troop. He saved my life. He… He was a good man.” Jimin reached for something in the pocket of his shirt: a letter. “He asked me that if he didn’t make it, I should give you this.” The young soldier had to fight back his own tears. “He… he really loved you, ma’am. I hope this can give you some comfort.”

You stare at the dirty folded paper. 

Nothing in this world will ever comfort you.

Yet, with trembling fingers, you unfold the paper and start to read it.

Tears immediately begin falling.

It’s undeniably his calligraphy; by the way some letters are retorted, you can see that he wrote it hurriedly. The paper somehow smells like mud and his fingerprints are all over it.

Once again, you start crying.

This pain will never go away.

Dear Y/N,

I apologize that we couldn’t have the party we always dreamed of. In the moments the pain becomes too great, I like to imagine you wearing your wedding dress. I regret not stealing a glance at it. I should have ignored the tradition that says that seeing the bride wearing the wedding dress before the wedding day brings bad luck.

I don’t want you to suffer imagining what I went through or the things I saw. I beg you to remember us in our best moments, for this is the way I will always remember you. Your smile, your eyes, your hair; no one can ever take these memories away from me, and for this I am grateful.

I wish we could have stayed together. I apologize that I couldn’t keep my promise of being with you until my last days. I truly apologize, Y/N. I hope that your father won’t be mad at me. But I’m a man of my word; and, if there is the slightest chance of us being together again, if by chance there is a next life, I swear I will search for you and keep my promise. Not even this war, heaven or hell, not even death will make us part. 

We will be together. I swear.

Please know that I left this world in peace - because the last thing I saw when I closed my eyes was you.

Forever yours,

Jungkook

× 2017 ×

“Shit!” you exclaim when you check your phone and see the hour.

Oh, no. You can’t be late for Mr. Hwang’s class again. The man apparently already hates you for existing, you can’t give him even more chances to hate you. 

You’re not the most punctual person, and you don’t even have a proper excuse this time. You just sat at the mall’s food court to eat your Big Mac peacefully and boom - one hour has passed. It’s not really your fault that Percy Jackson and The Last Olympian is such a good book. You hesitated for a long time to start reading this series, but now that you gave it a chance, you can’t stop reading - especially not now that Percy is about to drown in the Styx River. 

Can this be considered a good excuse? Maybe Mr. Hwang is a Percy Jackson fan. Who knows.

Your roommate likes to call you The Goddess of Procrastination. You can’t even be mad at her. She’s right.

You sigh and throw the book inside of your bag. If you run fast enough, you’ll manage to make it into the class just ten minutes late. Still better than the last time that you arrived five minutes before the class ended. No one has ever looked at you with so much hatred in this life other than Mr. Hwang in that moment.

But, as you’re about to get up and leave, you hear a phone buzzing.

And it isn’t yours.

You frown, noticing for the first time that a phone lays on the empty chair in front of you. Checking the screen, you see that there’s an incoming call. The name Jimin is written on the screen.

You think of simply ignoring it. It’s none of your business. But something - curiosity, maybe - makes you take the phone and answer the call.

“Hello?” you say, hesitant.

“Oh, thanks Goodness,” a male voice sighs in relief from the other side of the line. For some reason, you feel goosebumps. “Hm, hi. I think you found my phone.”

“Yeah, I think so.” 

“Where did you find it?”

“Hm… at the food court. Here in the mall near the subway station.”

You hear another male voice through the line saying “I told you that you forgot it there, idiot.”

“Shut up, Jimin.” the man scolds and coughs. “I’m sorry. Look, I’m not very far from the mall right now. Could you please wait a little bit so I can pick up my phone with you?”

You bite your bottom lip nervously. You’re way too late for Mr. Hwang’s class. You can’t waste any more time.

Yet… almost as if an invisible force makes you stand in place, you nod (even though he can’t see it). “Alright. But please, be fast.”

“Okay! I’ll be fast! Please, stay exactly where you are. I’ll be there in five minutes!”

He hangs up the phone.

You sit on the chair again, hopeless, and place his phone over the table, so he can see it clearly when he comes. Your leg shakes impatiently as you look around, trying to figure out who the owner is.

You stare at your bag.

One or two more pages won’t hurt.

You take the book again and open where you stopped. This is a tense moment of the story. I mean, you know that Percy won’t die. That’s the beginning of the book after all. But still, the tension is so great that you feel yourself at the edge of your seat. It’s also kind of embarrassing that you don’t know what’s about to happen since this book was released almost ten years ago. Your roommate likes to annoy you, saying that you like to read books for children, but if she had any idea of how good-

“Hm, excuse me.”

You lift your gaze from the book.

There’s a young man standing beside you. He has pitch black hair, fair skin, and honestly the biggest eyes you’ve ever seen. He wears a grey oversized hoodie, black pants and sneakers.

And, for a moment, the world around you seems to stop.

You don’t know exactly why you feel that you can’t breath.

You stare at each other for an embarrassingly long moment before you come back to your senses. You cough and stand up in a jump.

“I-I guess you’re the owner?” you say in an awkward manner. The man blinks and nods; he also seems a bit out of place.

“Y-Yeah!” he smiles. Your heart jumps. He takes the phone. “Thank you so much for waiting. I was going desperate already.”

“It’s alright.” you shrug. “I lose things all the time, too.” 

“I hope I didn’t make you late for anything.”

“No! You didn’t.” He did. “It's totally fine.”

You stand in front of each other awkwardly.

There’s something… strange about this man. You can’t tell what. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s extremely good-looking. But for some reason, your heart is beating fast, your stomach is doing flips and you can't look away from him.

"Alright." He coughs. "I'll… I'll get going. Thank you again."

"You're welcome."

You wave at each other and walk away in opposite directions.

You have to exhale heavily. What the hell was that?! Your heart won't stop beating fast. The whole situation was so strange. He also looked somehow-

"Hey! Wait!"

You feel a hand touching your shoulder. You turn around.

It's him again.

He has a small smile on his lips. He analyzes your face with a frown in a puzzled expression.

"Don't we know each other already?" He asks. "I… I have the feeling that we have met somewhere."

You're ready to say no, but as you analyze his features back, you feel a shiver.

You're sure you've never met him in your life.

Yet, at the same time… he looks familiar. Like the memory of a dream. A dream with horses running freely in an open field. A dream with a choir of nuns singing praises in a great church. A dream with stars, with whispered confessions, the sounds of a storm. A river flowing quietly. The smell of soap. The taste of salty tears, a letter marked with mud. Swords and crowns. A white wedding dress.

You feel dizzy.

"I… I don't know." Your mind is confused. "I don't remember very well."

He nods. His smile becomes timid.

"Maybe we could get to know each other?" He offers. "As a way of thanking you for taking care of my phone. We could get some coffee, maybe? Or soda. Or a beer. Or whatever you like."

You remember that there is still a class to attend.

But Mr. Hwang can wait.

"Coffee sounds nice," you say, smiling back at him.

His own smile widens. It's adorable how his eyes are also smiling. "Great! So… what's your name?"

"It's Y/N."

He repeats your name quietly, almost as if tasting it in his tongue. "Nice to meet you, Y/N. My name is Jungkook."

× 2020 ×

Jungkook falls silent when he finally understands what you're saying.

It's painful to see his frown deepening, the confusion disappearing and being replaced by subtle sadness.

You weren't ready for this.

But it has to be done.

"So… you're leaving." He repeats quietly. You nod.

"Yes." It's a shame that you can't even look at his eyes. "You know how this job offer is important to me. I… I couldn’t say no.”

He opens a small smile. This is what hurts the most. “I know. I’m proud of you, Y/N. I know how much you fought for this job.” His smile fades away as he reaches for your hand. “But… I can’t say that being away from you makes me happy.”

“I’m not happy about this either,” you admit. You want Jungkook to understand how much this is being difficult. How much it’s being painful. 

“So… how long will you be away?” 

You inhale heavily. 

“I don’t know.”

Jungkook seems frozen in place. 

“You… don’t know?” he repeats quietly. Almost as if he can’t believe what he’s hearing.

The pain becomes stronger.

“The plans are for me to stay indefinitely.”

This is when Jungkook finally realizes why you look so sad. 

He leans on the chair and passes his hand on his hair. You see the color draining from his face. Oh no. As stupid as it seems, you don’t want him to suffer… but you knew he would suffer anyway. 

“Are you telling me that you’re leaving the country indefinitely?” That look in his eyes… “But Y/N… what about us?”

“We can travel and see each other.”

“None of us have the money to keep traveling around like this.” Jungkook points the obvious. Sure, you expect to have a better salary with this job, but things won’t be easy during the first months. 

“We can make it. We’ll figure out what to do.” your own words sound empty, barely a desperate attempt to avoid the obvious.

“How, Y/N? You’re going to the other side of the world and you might never come back.”

You blink rapidly to try to dissipate the tears. “B-But… I don’t want to leave you.”

“You are leaving me.” This sentence felt like a dagger being buried in your heart. Jungkook exhales heavily, trying to calm himself down. He gulps and closes his eyes for a moment.

When he opens them again, he smiles in a reassuring way. Even though he’s hurt, he still tries to console you. This is what breaks you the most. You never understood why he has this habit. You’re so used to it already…

Jungkook reaches for your hand again. “Y/N, I want you to know that I’m truly happy for you. I know how this job is important. You’re going after your dreams. And I… I don’t want to stand in your way.”

“No! You’re not in my way.” You grab his other hand, feeling your heart clench at every minute.

“But I don’t want to trap you here if that’s not what you want for your life.” 

“Jungkook!” You call out. This is not how you want things to end - not that you want it to end at all. “We’ve been together for three years. I am with you because I want to. You’re not trapping me.”

He blinks rapidly again. You notice that he’s trying to fight back the tears, just like you. “But I don’t think this relationship will work like this.”

You can’t say anything. 

He’s right. You know it. You chose to accept the job offer and leave the country. You knew that neither of you would be able to stay away from each other like this.

“What do you mean…?” you whisper, asking the obvious.

“I mean that we should end now.” You want to say no. But again - you know he’s right. You also don’t want to trap him in a relationship when you’ll be away for most of the time. 

You can’t hold back the tears anymore.

“I’m sorry.” you whisper weakly.

“Don’t apologize. We all make our choices, don’t we?” He’s still smiling, but you see no hint of happiness in his eyes. He looks down and presses his lips tightly. “Maybe… maybe in our next life, we’ll be together.”

You don’t know why he said that so suddenly. 

But, for some reason, it hits you deep. So deep that you’re left speechless.

Jungkook gets up. “I really wish you’ll be happy, Y/N.”

For a moment, it seems that he wants to say something more. But he doesn’t. Instead, he turns around and walks away.

He’s glad that you can’t see his tears.

He’s also glad that he didn’t have enough time to show you the ring he bought yesterday.

Although the airport is busy, you feel lonely and cold on the inside.

You’ve been staring at nothing for a long time now, sitting alone in the corner. You said your goodbyes to your friends and family; all of them wished you luck and said you made the best decision of your life. Building a good career and being financially successful is all that matters in this world, after all.

But you can’t feel happy.

You tried to convince yourself that changes are difficult. Moving to a different country with a different culture and habits is never an easy task. It will take some time to adapt your mindset to it. You also can't ignore the fact that you’re leaving everyone you know behind; you’ll have to make new friends. All of this is hard. It’s normal to feel a little bit sad.

The thing is - you’re not feeling just a little bit sad.

You actually feel that there’s a deep hole inside your chest.

The image of Jungkook’s sad smile does not left your mind all these days. He looked so devastated, so disappointed… yet still tried to encourage you. He thought that he was being a burden in your life; this is what hurts you the most. Jungkook was never a burden. Ever since you met him that day at the mall, it seems that your life has brighter colors and happiest days. Jungkook understands you like no other person ever did. You two have such a deep connection that you can tell what each other are feeling or thinking even if you don’t say anything. It feels that you’ve known him your entire life, even though you met him only three years ago.

There are times when you have strange dreams with him. They are blurry and hard to remember when you wake up, but sometimes, you see him and yourself in situations you’ve never lived before. It gets even stranger when you remember that you and him were wearing old clothing from centuries ago.

When you told your roommate about your dreams - they started barely a week after you first met him - she laughed at said jokingly:

“Maybe you guys met in a past life.”

You know she wasn’t serious. You’ve never been one to believe in things like reincarnation, and you also didn’t think much of it. But the idea of meeting him in the past - the single fact that you may have existed before - was… unsettling.

Especially because you also had many nightmares with him.

Nightmares in which he was taken away from you, and you could do nothing but cry.

Whenever you had one of those nightmares, although you couldn’t remember them clearly, the bad feeling lingered with you during the whole day. This feeling only vanished when you saw him in front of you. He is here. We are together.

Not anymore.

This is being hard to deal with.

You always dreamed with this job. Actually, living abroad was one of the main objectives in your life. This job opportunity is everything you ever wanted. You shouldn’t be feeling sad like this, not now that you achieved your biggest dream.

Soon, when you settle down and start experiencing the life you always wanted, the sadness will fade away. You had a beautiful however short story with Jungkook. You’ll only carry good memories of him. Having a good and healthy relationship to remember is more than most people have, right?

There’s no reason to feel so bad.

You lift your head when you hear the speakers calling all the passengers for your flight. You get up, straighten your clothes and take the tickets. 

The time has come.

You walk to the boarding area, pushing your suitcases with you. This is the beginning of your new life. The new you. 

Each step feels heavy.

Your breathing and your heartbeat echoes on your ears. You can’t really focus in anything around. 

You’re leaving Jungkook.

But Jungkook himself said that you should do what you wanted. He supported your decision. 

You’re leaving Jungkook.

You dream of this career ever since you were a teenager. That’s why you worked so hard up to this day. This is your reward. Many people your age would kill to have this opportunity.

But you’re leaving Jungkook.

You can’t go back now. You have signed your contract. They are waiting for you at-

I will never give up on him.

You stop on your tracks.

I will never rest until we can finally be together.

Time seems to have slowed down.

Why… why did you hear this voice in your head? 

It sounded distant… like one of those blurry dreams. 

You shake your head and start walking again, but slower this time. Your palms are sweaty for some reason. 

It feels as if an invisible force is pulling you back. Something deep within you - something you can’t remember and can’t comprehend - echoes like an alarm. Something you should be aware of, but you can’t figure out what it is, it doesn’t matter how much you try.

A strong feeling of grief. An emptiness. Almost like crying for endless days and nights until you had no tears left to cry. A sadness so deeply rooted that no one would be able to rip out.

A feeling you are familiar with.

Meeting Jungkook was a miracle. Of all the people in this immense world, you came across the one that matches you the most. Many people live their entire lives without meeting someone like this.

And you’re leaving him.

A thought that doesn’t make much sense whispers in your head… nobody, no circumstance, nothing is forbidding your love. Nothing can separate you. For the first time, the Universe isn’t being cruel to you.

The only thing pulling you apart from each other is… yourself.

It’s your choice.

“Ma’am?” you hear a male voice saying. Your sight focuses, and you see the airport security guard looking at you awkwardly, waiting for you to show him your ticket and passport. “Is everything okay?”

The bridge that leads to the plane is right in front of you.

The bridge to your new life.

Not even this war, heaven or hell, not even death will make us part. 

We will be together. I swear.

“I can’t.” you whisper. The security guard frowns.

“Excuse me?”

“I-I can’t.” Adrenaline starts to boil your blood. “I need to leave. I need to go back.”

The other passengers look at you with confusion as you walk away from the line. Then you’re running. The suitcases shake with your violent and ungainly run, but you couldn’t care less. You need to leave this airport. You need to meet him. The taxi driver looks scared when you yell, asking for his help to shove the carriers inside of his car. Still, you don’t care about how crazy you look or how people are looking at you.

All you can think of is Jungkook’s galaxy eyes looking at you as if you meant the world to him. 

He is your world.

You can’t leave your world behind.

You’re sweating and your hands are shaking and you can’t control your breathing when you finally stop in front of his apartment and knock on the door unceremoniously.

Nervousness and adrenaline creeps on your skin; you’re aware that your hair is probably a mess. You don’t know how he will react. You didn’t think of calling him before coming; that’s just how crazy you are.

The door cracks open and you hold your breath.

Jungkook’s eyes widen when he sees you. He’s wearing sleeping clothing and he’s got bed hair, which should mean he was sleeping, but the bags underneath his eyes tells you the opposite. He looks bad - similar to when he would spend entire nights awake studying for finals, only worse.

It looks like he can’t breath, too.

“Y/N,” the way he says your name makes your heart jump. “W-What are you doing here? I thought you were leaving today…” he looks behind you and notices the suitcases, what makes him frown in confusion.

“Yes.” you nod. “I was supposed to leave today.”

“Supposed?” He is so confused. “Did something happen?”

“Yes.” You sigh deeply before speaking. Your blood feels boiling hot; your stomach twirls and jumps. “I went to the airport. I said goodbye to everyone. I was ready to leave.”

Jungkook just watches you in silence. You see when, slowly, his eyes start to light up again as you speak; they light up with… hope.

“B-But then, I stopped and thought that I would never see you again. And… and I don’t think I can take it.” I can’t take it once again, a voice whispers in your mind. “You said that you wish I’d be happy, but I can’t be happy if I’m not with you.”

The tears start trickling down your cheeks. This time, though, they’re tears of joy.

“I love you, Jungkook. And I’m not waiting for another lifetime to be with you.”

Jungkook engulfs you in a tight hug.

You hug him back just as tight; he kisses the top of your head multiple times and you hear him sniffling. Everything feels right and at place. Being with him is the right thing, regardless of what anyone can think.

From far, you have the slight impression that you hear something… the sound of steel chains breaking apart. Your wrists suddenly feel weightless. Almost as if an invisible force finally lets you go.

Free.

Jungkook leans away but still keeps you close; his eyes and nose are reddish and his face is wet with tears. He has the smile you’ve learned to love. You wipe his tears away. He looks gorgeous, as he always was.

“Hm… I bought you something.” He says sheepishly and puts his hand in his back pocket. “I don’t know if you will like it. I also don’t know if it’s the right time… we’re too young, but… that’s just how I feel about you.”

You have to cover your mouth with your hand when Jungkook takes a beautiful ring in his fingers.

“I-I don’t know if you want this too, but I want to give it to you anyway…”

“Of course I want it!”

Jungkook almost falls back when you throw yourself over him again, tightly embracing your arms around his neck. He laughs and lifts you up, and you lock your legs around his waist. 

He takes you inside the apartment. None of you remember about your suitcases outside.

“I am so happy,” Jungkook whispers between the kisses; you feel the happiness radiating from him like a bright light. You only know each other for three years, but it feels as if you’ve been waiting for this moment forever.

Nothing else matters in this moment. Right now, you belong to each other. 

You always did.

Nothing in the Universe can change this fact - not even the past, the present, and the future.

“I love you.” Jungkook says, looking deep inside your teary eyes.

“And I always will.”

[hahanoiwont]

@bluerose2017 replied to this post: Omg thank you so much for responding to my thoughts. I have three questions for you. 1. How many universes are you thinking of writing in And Whither than? 2. Once all the sanses and Papyruses come together, are they gonna argue with each other on who gets Frisk? 3. Do the sanses and Papyruses ever get jealous of Frisk’s brotherly relationship with each other?

!! hi! I am so glad to hear all thoughts about my writing, thank you for dropping by to talk to me! And these are excellent questions :D

So, in order (and under a cut because I have a tendency to ramble):

1. How many universes are you thinking of writing in And Whither than?

Initially, WT was meant to skim over hundreds, possibly thousands of universes. Frisk gives up entirely on the concept of staying in one universe, and clings to their drive to free their friends and family in each universe--there's one more world where everyone is happy, and that has to be enough. But then I remembered some writing advice I got a while back about how you almost never need a hundred of something if you show a few of it really well. And I realized that Frisk can reach the same mentality I was going for while being a lot easier to understand if we only went through a few universes, zooming in on the initial adjustment to being misplaced in the multiverse. It's more fun if they're not an expert! It's a lot easier to like someone who we've seen adjusting and learning than someone who skims into old hat really quickly, narratively speaking. So, I did some massive readjustments.

Now, Frisk is going to go to a total of (spoilers!!!) seven universes, including Underfell. So far we've seen Underfell, Underswap, Dancetale, Frisktale, and Swapfell; that leaves two unexplored. (/end spoilers). I decided which universes to put in basically through requests early on (Dancetale wasn't requested but I missed dancing lol); now that the arc of the story is decided, I can only explore other potential AUs through spinoffs like Fall Into Grace. So: finite number of universes. We've stopped in Swapfell for a while, but we're making good progress.

2. Once all the sanses and Papyruses come together, are they gonna argue with each other on who gets Frisk?

This one's a bit more complicated--yes and no! On their own, they'll each come to a conclusion--Cozy/Stretch has decided it would be best if Frisk came to Underswap first and negotiations can start from there, while Blue is under the impression that they'll all be talking it out once Frisk is found, and Red has his own plans, etc. No one is arguing, but no one quite agrees, either. But at the end of the arc that brings everyone together, there will be some other complicating details--not to mention that Frisk has already been traveling for a long time for a preteen with no consistent home, and they have their own opinions about being kept. After all, it's people arguing about whether and where to keep them that started this disaster, and historically people wanting to keep them has not always been a good thing (see: every Toriel and swap!Asgore). Swapfell is actually the only universe that's gotten them to stay in the skelebros' home again, and that will have its own complications. Frisk is already a difficult person to contain, "keeping" may not be as easy as some would hope.

3. Do the sanses and Papyruses ever get jealous of Frisk’s brotherly relationship with each other?

:D I can tell you Red's not exactly pleased. One can argue that he signed himself up for heartbreak by kicking them out of his universe, though. You know who didn't give them up? Fell. Prepare for some spoilers ahead (nothing concrete, but a lot of the fuzzy "someday" stuff)

I have a scene very vividly in my mind for when they meet up again--we'll see how it actually works out in context, but it's been part of the plan almost from the start. Fell tragically lost his younger sibling when they were 12 years and 6 weeks old, having met them when they were 11. Already in WT canon, quite a bit of time has passed; even more for Frisk than for anyone else. They're getting older, learning, changing, growing. They're making new friends he's never met and having new experiences he can't imagine.

By the time he catches up to them, part of their life has passed without him, and he can't get it back. He risked everything to take them in and raise them, and that chance was stolen from him by the person he loves most in the world. Fell's very first thought after meeting them again is: You've grown up. You don't need me anymore. Because that's the tragedy of his part of the story: he went above and beyond in every situation, he improved himself beyond his wildest imaginings to live up to their faith in him, and he still loved and lost a sibling. So one day he'll have to face this fear--they've met other, braver, gentler, kinder, better versions of him. Now that they have a family that spans the multiverse, now that he isn't the best choice in a bad situation, what could they possibly need him for? What use is there in keeping him around if they don't need him anymore?

And Frisk's thought in return is, But I still want you. Wanting is just as good as needing, but I do it by choice. They never loved him because he was better than nothing; they loved him because they knew he was worth loving. He loved them and protected them when they were too young to look after themself. He was the Papyrus by which all others were measured. Of course they love their other siblings very deeply and very much, but that doesn't mean they would ever leave him for a version of him with a less explosive temper, or who's better at feelings. They love each of their brothers as their own people, who they got to know because of their similarities but came to love for their differences, too.

That's how a lot of the interpersonal conflict is going to be resolved eventually. A lot of patience, a lot of compromise, a lot of understanding. And, hey, it turns out it's a lot harder to resent someone for stealing your sibling once you crash on their couch a few times--there are going to be sleepovers all over the multiverse, and the various skeletons will get to know each other, too. After a while, each of these previously lonely people will turn around and realize that it's not just a shared custody situation, it's that their family has gotten a lot bigger. It starts with Frisk, but it ends with everyone knowing Slim is a great listener and Shy is actually terrible at DDR and Blue is the kinda guy who'll pick you up at 3am from the wrong universe, no questions asked. So while things will get pretty tense in the meantime, eventually, I hope we'll get to a point where it feels right for everyone to get along with each other. Sometimes it really is one big, happy family.

Anyway, that's what I think at chapter 21 (22?) out of a gazillion. It may be that a new plot comes out of nowhere, and I have to follow it down the rabbithole Right Now Immediately, derailing everything along the way. But I'm always happy to talk about what's going on behind the scenes! Please do come by and chat whenever--anything from "hey why is frisk so fixated on the stick" to "so actually though what if we stayed in frisktale forever"! I'm really pleased with this fic, so I have many, many thoughts about it :D

[thefactsofthematter]

may we have a Softe javid fic to heal us

so i have no idea when this ask was actually sent (probably months ago) but i did START this fic when i got it! then i forgot about the wip and only found it again the other day. so here it finally is!!!

javid; 3.2k; an au in which davey is a rich socialite in the 1850s and it’s heavily inspired by laurie and jo’s meet-cute in little women; not proofread in the slightest

-

Brooklyn, NY, 1856.

David Jacobs has never been one for these pretentious, formal parties.

Hours of polite smiling, shaking hands with stuffy old people, and gently declining young ladies' requests to dance with him, all while dressed up in a stiff tuxedo— it's hardly a way to spend an evening.

And yet here he is, standing in the corner and nursing a glass of champagne, because Sarah keeps getting them invited to these things and he's not about to let her go off to a party alone. The least he can do is make a good name for his parents, as their polite young socialite son who makes connections with family friends and doesn't get himself into trouble.

"David, darling!"

Here comes Katherine, one of David's best friends and the daughter of the family hosting. She's twirling over to him, clearly feeling just as bubbly as the champagne she's been drinking.

"Hello Miss Pulitzer," he replies, stifling a laugh as he lunges forward to catch her from tripping over her own skirts. "It seems you're having quite the night."

She hardly makes an effort to right herself, seeming content to rest on his arm for a moment.

"Oh, am I ever," she sighs. "I do love when we get to host a big party— it's a bit fun being the centre of attention. And hey, don't you dare Miss Pulitzer me. I can't stand it."

David chuckles as he helps her regain her balance. She lets go of his arm and smoothes out her skirts before tossing her hair and looking every bit ready to continue dancing.

"I know, I know. I'm only being polite," he laughs, though she slaps him playfully on the arm for it. "You look lovely tonight, by the way. Though I surely hope you're not about to ask me to dance, since you know what the answer will be."

She rolls her eyes and sighs dramatically.

"Someday, Jacobs. I'll get you on that dance floor eventually— but no, that's not why I've come to find you. I was hoping I could call in a favour."

David quirks an eyebrow as he sips his drink. Why Katherine might need a favour from him in a house full of servants that literally work to do whatever she needs, he's not sure.

"I suppose," he replies. "But Sarah had me do her a favour by curling her hair tonight, and now I've got dreadful little burns on my fingers, so I'm not in the most generous mood."

"Sarah looks wonderful tonight, so perhaps your burns were worth it," sighs Katherine, hardly making an effort to hide how lovesick she is. She takes his hand to inspect it, and then rolls her eyes. "That's barely anything, you big baby! Surely no one's ever taught you that beauty and pain go hand in hand."

"My shoes are teaching me that right now," he whines. "They're my favourite ones, but they pinch my toes something awful. Anyways... what favour do you need?"

Katherine lights up like she's just remembering she'd asked for a favour in the first place.

"Oh, right! Let's walk and talk for a moment, if I can't convince you to dance." She takes David's elbow and they start to wander through the crowd. They're both well aware of the stares they get: everyone is expecting them to court and eventually marry, and they both know they'll probably go along with it someday. "So... I invited a friend of mine tonight— someone I met at the newspaper— but he doesn't really know anyone else here. I thought since you normally keep to yourself, you could show him around! I really think you two could be great friends."

David almost doesn't catch the way she winks, following those last few words, making her implication clear. He hopes no one catches the way he instantly flushes bright red.

"That's not right, Kath," he hisses, under his breath. "You brought me a date? Is he..." He trails off and giggles a little before whispering in her ear. "Is he quite handsome?"

Katherine laughs out loud and bounces giddily on her toes. For someone who's likely to be his future wife, she's awfully excited at the idea of setting him up for romance.

"Oh, isn't he! You're going to love him." She drops her voice to a whisper. "And before you ask... I'm rather sure where his affections lie— I think you two will get along quite well."

David, rather flustered now, starts to fuss with his hair and tie without even realizing it— until Katherine reaches up and fixes them for him.

"You look dashing," she giggles. "He was nervous to come in here and not know what to do with himself, so he's waiting in the library for now. Somewhere nice and quiet for you two to... get acquainted."

David can feel the heat of his blush on his cheeks and wills desperately for it to go away as Katherine drags him out of the ballroom and down the hall. He skids to a halt as they approach the library, tugging on her arm.

"I'm not ready," he whispers. "I can't do this. You can't just surprise me with a date! Oh, what if he thinks I'm annoying, or I talk too much, or—"

Katherine cuts him off with a giggle and a friendly kiss on the cheek.

"You've got nothing to be worried about, my dear." She straightens his jacket and smiles fondly. "Jack is a sweetheart, and you'll be as charming as ever. Now come on, it's impolite to keep company waiting."

With that, she walks gracefully through the library doors, leaving David scrambling to catch up.

"I'm back!" she sing-songs as she enters. She grins and grabs David's arm, dragging him into view. "I found you a friend!"

His stomach does a backflip as soon as he lays eyes on Jack. He's gorgeous. He's the kind of effortlessly beautiful that Davey has always wished he could be, where it looks like he hardly pays any mind to his appearance but it all just magically works out in his favour. His hair is tousled just the right way and his cheeks are a little rosy under these dim library lights— it's all coming together in order to make David swoon.

"Jack, David," continues Kath, gesturing between them. "David, Jack. Get yourselves acquainted and then come back and join the party! Cheers, boys!"

And then she's off, subtly winking at David as she hurries out of the room.

"Well, hi there," says Jack, laughing a little at Kath's abrupt exit. He extends a hand to shake. "Jack Kelly, pleased to meet you."

David hopes the flush on his cheeks isn't obvious as he shakes Jack's hand and smiles.

"David Jacobs." They release the handshake and it almost seems like they might fall into awkward silence, but David practically goes to parties for a living— he can command some small-talk when he has to. "So... you're a friend of Katherine's from work? I think it's just wonderful that she's gotten so far with her writing."

This manages to get the ball rolling.

"Isn't it?" replies Jack with a grin. "I draw the pictures for lots of her pieces and boy can she write. She's a real... oh what was that word she said... a wordsmith! That's it!"

David can't help but laugh. There's something about Jack that intrigues him, but he can't quite put his finger on what. He seems different from most of the snooty socialite people he's used to hanging around with— even just the way he talks, he seems more real.

"So Katherine told me you might need a little introduction to this whole..." he trails off and waves a hand absentmindedly as he tries to find the right word, "party scene. You might be best to turn around and head back home, if I'm being honest— I find the whole thing a little tedious."

Jack cocks an eyebrow. Upon a closer look, he seems a little uncomfortable in his suit, like he's not sure how to carry himself. It's like he's scared he'll slip up and make a wrong move, or something.

"Isn't it just wine, fancy food, and dancing? Sounds like it can't be all that bad," he chuckles, and then he gently takes David's hands in his own. Jack's hands are calloused and a little stained— likely ink, since he'd mentioned he draws for a living— and they make an almost poetic contrast to David's pale ones. "How 'bout you give me a dancing lesson right now?"

David's heart nearly beats right out of his chest. Oh god. This is a lot to handle. That was incredibly forward, and he sure hopes it means what he thinks it means. Are they flirting right now?

"I— I'm not much of a dancer," he laughs, sheepishly. "I mostly just stand around and watch. I tend to be a bit of a wallflower when it comes to crowds."

Jack starts to sway absentmindedly while still holding David's hands. They can still hear the music from the ballroom, and he seems to have the musicality to at least move along with the notes.

"Surely the girls are all over you," he chuckles. "You just break their hearts and won't even give 'em a dance?"

David blushes even harder, if that's possible. He remembers what Kath had said earlier— that she was quite sure Jack felt similarly about his attraction— so he laughs softly and decides to test the waters.

"I'm not all that interested in ladies," he says, and it takes a fair bit of courage to force those words out. Sarah and Katherine are the only ones who know about his... disinterest, simply because they're in the same boat. It's not something that feels like it should be talked about. This statement was at least general enough that he could brush it off, say it's because he's too focused on his studies.

There's a moment of knowing eye contact between them, during which David lets out a sigh of relief. They both know why Katherine introduced them. They're still holding hands, standing awfully close together, and David's scared Jack might be able to hear his heart pounding.

"Me neither," whispers Jack, after a long second of silence. He's not subtle with the way his gaze flicks to David's lips and then back up. He suddenly seems to notice how forward he's being, and he practically jumps backwards, before brushing his hands on his pants and looking up with a sheepish smile. "So, what if we don't even go into the ball? If neither one of us wants to dance with the girls, we can just dance in here, by ourselves!"

David's not sure he's ever wanted anything more. That sounds incredible. He freezes up in crowds, but if it's just the two of them, he might actually be able to remember some of the dances that he's watched so many times before.

"I'd like that," says David, his voice remarkably soft and his heart fluttering. "May I have this dance, Mr. Kelly?"

"I'd be honoured, Mr. Jacobs. You're gonna have to help me out though, I've got two left feet."

Slowly, hesitantly, they waltz their way around the library, constantly giggling as they trip over their own feet. Neither one of them was lying about not knowing how to dance— they're a mess— but it's delightful just moving along together with no one around to see.

Eventually, they start to make up their own moves, flailing and twirling their bodies however they want to, and David has never had so much fun. They jump and bounce around to the upbeat songs, laughing all the while like a couple of rowdy children. It's wonderful.

After several songs of dancing, they find themselves flopping onto the little couch to give their feet a rest. They're both still laughing as they try to catch their breath— Jack loosens his tie and unbuttons his jacket, which is certainly improper but also incredibly attractive.

"Thanks for that, Davey," sighs Jack, and David's heart practically leaps into his throat at the nickname. "Much better than dancing with any girls, in my opinion."

Davey laughs and drops his gaze to the floor.

"I can't help but agree," he says, still a little on-edge. "You make wonderful company."

There's a moment of quiet, filled only by the crackle of the fireplace. Davey has an overwhelming urge to take Jack's hand in his own, but he's far too nervous.

"Tell me something about yourself," Jack finally says, turning to Davey with a smile. "I'd like to get to know you better. What do you do for fun?"

Davey almost laughs. He's not sure of the last time he did anything that was purely for his own enjoyment. His life is about pleasing other people— his family, his tutors, and all the other wealthy folk that they try so hard to impress.

"Well, I like to read," he eventually settles on. He folds his hands nervously in his lap. "When I was living in France with my uncle last year, he had this grand library. I would sometimes sneak in there and read the fantasy novels— as silly as that is. It's awfully embarrassing, but I rather enjoyed it."

"Now that's not embarrassing," says Jack, still smiling, charming Davey even further with every moment that passes. "Who doesn't love a good story? And, wow— living in France? Do you speak the language, then?"

Davey hates how hard he's blushing right now. He's never had someone be so genuinely interested in what he has to say— it's a new and almost alarming experience.

His time in France was a very lonely experience: stuck in his elderly uncle's massive home, far away from his dear brother and sister, all because his parents had decided he needed to learn to be more cultured. All he really learned was how to keep himself entertained during long days with nothing to do— but at least it's something interesting to talk about now, he supposes.

"Bien oui," he responds, revelling in the way Jack's eyes light up in excitement. "C'est ma langue préférée. Tu sais... y'en a des gens qui disent que c'est la langue d'amour. J'avais mes doutes, mais peut-être je les crois, maintenant."

Jack clearly doesn't understand a word of it, but he seems thoroughly impressed.

"Wow..." he says, almost as if he's star-struck. "That's incredible."

Davey laughs softly, a little embarrassed at being the center of attention.

"Enough about me," he chuckles, desperate to get out of the spotlight. "You said you're an artist— is it something you've always been interested in?"

Jack looks a little caught off-guard to suddenly become the topic of conversation, but he recovers quickly.

"Oh, for sure. I started drawing as soon as I could hold a pencil." He gestures with his hands as he talks, which is entirely endearing. "I just do little cartoons in the paper, as far as right now, and I paint sets for a theatre in the Bowery when I have time, but I'd love to sell a painting of my own someday."

"I'd love to buy one," says Davey, finally mustering up the courage to place a hand on top of Jack's. "I'm sure they're beautiful."

It's Jack's turn to blush, which is oddly satisfying for Davey. They're holding hands on the little couch in this dimly lit library— Davey feels like one of the characters from the novels he's read, as this whole situation seems too good to be true.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Jack asks, after a moment. He's got a mischievous grin on his face, but he looks a little nervous as well. "You can't tell anyone else."

Davey smiles right back.

"Of course you can," he says, brushing his thumb gently on the back of Jack's hand. "I've been told I'm a wonderful listener— at least my sister thinks so."

Jack laughs softly and looks down at his lap. It almost seems as if he's trying to build up the courage to tell his secret.

"Okay..." he sighs, and then he continues in a whisper. "I'm not supposed to be here."

Davey can't help but frown in confusion.

"What on earth do you mean? Katherine invited you, and she's the hostess! Surely that means she wanted you to come."

Jack laughs nervously again. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

"No, I mean... I've never been to a fancy party like this, no less in a house this nice. This ain't even my suit— I'm borrowing from Kath's brother. I've never owned no suit this dapper. I'm, uh... not like the rest of you, if that makes sense."

Oh. That's where it clicks for Davey. It suddenly makes sense why Jack talks a little differently, and why he'd been so impressed by Davey's mention of a trip to France— not everyone is born into the kind of wealth that makes that possible. That's why he'd waited in the library rather than come into the party; he probably wouldn't know what to do with himself.

It's not like Davey only hangs out with people of his own social status, but he has to admit that he doesn't know many people like Jack. Most of his friends— the very few that he has— are from boarding school, or these ridiculously uptight social events, although he's always felt like he doesn't quite fit in with them. He's always wished to be more... normal.

"Ah, well that's quite alright," Davey replies, since he's truly not sure what kind of response Jack was expecting. "It's not all it's cracked up to be, if I'm being honest. Forgive my language, but I do tire of hanging around with all these blue-bloods."

If only his father could hear him use a silly word like that. It's a funny term he'd learned to refer to wealthy people, and he'd probably get a smack around the back of the head for saying it in front of his family. Jack, however, just laughs.

"You're awful funny, Jacobs," he says. "And nicer than most rich folks, too. I can see why Kath wanted to introduce us."

Once again, Davey blushes. He curses his own pale complexion, because even in the low lighting, Jack has clearly noticed.

"She's quite the matchmaker," he replies with a chuckle. "Two of our friends are married now, thanks to her."

Jack leans in a little closer, and Davey can feel his heartbeat in his throat.

"Is that so?" he asks. "She must know what she's doing, then."

He's looking at Davey's lips again, and they go quiet for a moment. This doesn't even feel real— Davey almost has the urge to pinch himself and check if he's dreaming.

He takes a deep breath, as subtly as possible.

"I'd like it if you kissed me," he whispers, finally breaking the tension.

"I'd like that too," Jack replies, and then he oh-so carefully presses their lips together.

It's everything Davey could've hoped for.

They don't even notice Katherine and Sarah peeking in to check on them— nothing could possibly break this magical moment. It feels like they're exactly where the universe intended for them to be.

- 

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