#anyway I have One online class in the afternoon
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Me, playing Baldur's Gate 3: I need to finish my current playthrough. I only have a few missions left to do. It's gonna be, like, 50h tops. We have holiday coming up, I can do it and then focus on writing my thesis.
Also me: *already planning my second run, breaking my brain over how Im gonna make one of my fave characters in game, and what class or mutliclass to make him, trying to convince myself I Will roleplay so I make at least Some different choices* anyway, When can I start?
#personal#baldur's gate 3#Raksh's gaming adventures#I wanna try and make Sasuke in game#which feels Impossible to get right but I guess making a storm sorcerer is the closest?#and it sounds like a fun class#sucks it doesn’t make sens to mutliclass into a fighter so I can give him the One ingame Katana#just for the roleplay purposes xD#(yeah I know his sword is a chokuto not a katana but hush it'd fit xD)#and Then there's the lightning charges build one can make too sooooo#yeah lots to think about!#and it all came about bcs I was trying to figure out How to make my second playthrough different xD#bcs Im incapable of doing an evil run lmao#and if I just went with the druid Id Love to play I would just end up doing another good playthrough like my current ranger one#plus I wanna do a dark urge and it feels like it'd fit very nice with the roleplay#in place of the cursed mark and all#Im getting so unironically hyped for that second playthrough#I guess I just really want to roleplay Sasuke in BG3 lmaoo#anyway I have One online class in the afternoon#so plenty of time to go and play for a bit now before that ^^
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Also just checking but like….. I am justified in no-call no-showing to a job interview I was 1) given ONE working day of notice for, 2) have already expressed my disinterest in, and 3) don’t need to go to since I already have a job, right?
#like i definitely already messaged these people on indeed to be like ‘ty for the opportunity but i already have a job’#and i’d definitely ignored multiple emails and a phone call from them prior to that#the only thing they’ve heard from me is ‘no i don’t want to interview with you. thanks though’#also. they let me know friday afternoon for an interview that is today. do you people even work on weekends?#when exactly was i supposed to confirm attendance#it is an online interview but i still think it’s a little wild to expect me to move my stuff around that fast. you don’t know if that’s#a work email. i might not even see it until monday anyway#also! it’s a group interview which i have a personal issue with anyway#like i’ve attended ‘group interviews’ where it was just like everyone goes through the tour together and maybe does some sort of induction#activity together (like e.g. i went to a TA interview and like three of us got put in the class with the kids to interact with them)#that was fine. but if the actual sit down panel interview is a group interview? i am spitting in your face and leaving#you’re hiring ME as one entity. not me and greg#i can’t imagine they’re going to get many candidates if this is how they conduct themselves. like who DOES this#the only other time i’ve been offered an interview with such short notice WAS ALSO a shitshow i.e. i never heard back from them#it was fucked up. i spent hours working on a presentation for them and they didn’t even have the audacity to send me an email saying#‘no we don’t want you’ like what a colossal waste of everybody’s time that was#tl;dr hiring managers are toxic waste. i feel so blessed to have a job and not have to deal with them until at least september#personal
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the girl next door 24
Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as age gap, manipulation, chronic illness, noncon/dubcon, coercion, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.
Summary: A new neighbour moves in and upends your already disarrayed life.
Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself.
This lewk but silverfox
The afternoon passes peacefully by the soft babble of the brook. Your forgotten friend stays with his camera but doesn’t bother you much. You remember him vaguely. Some years of your childhood seem to blend together but you recall the boy and his lawn mower. Your grandmother would give him a five dollar bill as your mom asked why you hadn’t offered to do it first.
You’re more surprised that he remembers you. You’ve always been a side note. Nothing or no one special. More than ten years later and he seems almost happy to see you. Well, like he says, a familiar face can be a comfort when everything else is new.
You still your pencil and look up at the sky then over your shoulder. Peter grabs onto the bridge and swings himself up from below. His camera hangs from a strap around his neck as he tidies his hair. He smiles as he comes across the bridge, his eyes flicking towards your sketchbook.
You hesitate and turn the page towards him, showing him as your heart pulse. You don’t often share your work and the river scene is much more than your usual subject. He considers it, leaning in as he nods.
“Wow, very nice,” he praises. “You’re very good at that. Not me,” he chuckles and scratches his neck, “the camera does all the work.”
You close up the book with the pencil inside. You rock and look behind you once more.
“Guess you should get going, huh?” He asks.
You shrug.
“Can I walk with you? I wouldn’t mind getting the lay of the land,” he offers. “Is it far?”
You shake your head and press the book to your chest. You turn without a word and lead him across the bridge onto the paved path. You come up onto the sidewalk, the sun beating down hotly on your faded denim and heavy cotton.
“I’m sorry to hear about your grandma,” he says, “she was a nice woman.”
You nod and give a bittersweet smile. She could be, when she wanted to be. Other kids deserved kindness, but you, you were useless.
“Can I show you something?” He asks as he grabs his camera and clicks the buttons, “here, look.”
He turns the little screen to you and shades it with his hand. You look at you keep your feet moving. A monarch butterfly floats above a broken dandelion, just beyond the river’s edge. The framing brings the eye right to its colourful wings.
“Pretty,” you say.
“Huh, yeah,” he lets the camera hang again. “Just a bit of fun. A hobby between classes.”
You chew your lip and don’t comment on the last part.
“Engineering,” he supplies, “heavy duty. You go to school?”
You don’t react as you squeeze the edges of your sketchbook. You look down, your soles scuffing on the pavement. You frown and shake your head.
“Ah, well, you know, it’s not for everyone. You sell your art?”
You pop your head up and look at him. Huh?
“Yeah, I’m sure you could sell that if you made it digital or something,” he points to your book.
Maybe but you don’t have a computer or a tablet or anything like that. You won’t let him know all that. You just shrug and keep walking.
“Anyway,” he laughs off the awkward silence.
You look ahead as you come in sight of the house. You see Steve’s car in his driveway and your insides mulch. They’re home. You stop at the corner and face Peter.
“I’ll walk from here,” you insist.
“Oh, uh, I don’t mind.”
“It’s okay,” you say. “Thanks.”
“Maybe I’ll see you around,” he grins.
“Maybe.”
You tramp off and glance behind you, only to make sure he doesn’t follow. He watches but stays on the corner. You turn ahead as you near the front gate of your mother’s house. Your name frightens you as it comes from the other side of the fence.
“Where were you?” Steve charges down his front steps, so quick and determined that you wince and stumble onto the grass as you look at him. “We were looking for you.”
“Oh,” you bat your eyes.
“Oh?” He echoes, “sweetie, we were worried.”
“I... went for a walk.”
He looks you up and down, the lines in his forehead lessening as he heaves a breath. He still wears his nice shirt and trousers, but his tie is gone and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His gray hair is neat but for a shank that threatens to fall down his forehead.
“Drawing?” He asks. You nod. “You should leave a note, next time.”
“Sorry,” you bite your lip and notice how his eyes catch on that gesture.
“Your mom’s a bit out of it. It’s been a really long day for her and the last thing she needed was to worry about you,” he shakes his head and crosses his arms. You slump and look at your feet. Your mom worried about you? “I just got her to lay down, I told her I’d find you.”
“I’m sorry,” you repeat louder, “okay?”
“Sweetie, I’m just looking out for you. We’re a family now, aren’t we?”
Your jaw clenches and you stare at him blankly. He keeps saying that but you don’t know. You and your mom were barely that. She just tolerates you.
“Sorry if I seem impatient,” he says, “we need to talk about some things.”
“Talk?” You swallow dryly.
You think you know what he wants to say but you thought he might wait until tomorrow. Your skin buzzes. Your future has always been dull and predictable; just another day with your mom, at home. Now, you might lose both.
“Come on, it’s still sunny out, we’ll sit out back and I’ll make some lemonade.”
You try to hide your uncertainty but you can’t feel it straining in your cheek. You put your head down and go around to his side of the picket fence. He waits for you to go ahead of him and leads you around the side of the house. He takes you onto the deck and you sit at the table.
“Don’t wanna wake your mom,” he says, “I’ll be right back.”
You stare out at the yard. It’s still very unreal to you. They’re married but everything still looks the same. The distant shouts of child drift in the air and the steady rustle of leaves rises from bushes and trees alike. The sunlight grows unbearable as you sit in its blaze.
The sliding door shuts and Steve plunks down two glasses of lemonade before he sits. He shifts and adjusts, pulling the chair around closer to you and puts his elbow on the table. He watches you as you avoid looking back at him.
“Thirsty? You must be hot, why don’t you come in the shade?” He suggests.
You don’t say a word. You sit there behind a wall, waiting for it to shatter. You grip your book in your lap and stare at the bright green grass.
“Ahem, so, sweetie,” he clears his throat, “I know this has all been so sudden but... me and your mom talked this out in every direction. After what happened, the hospital, well, she needs help. Professional help. She needs a nurse. Someone to come look after her a few hours a day. And... the invoice wasn’t easy to look at either...”
He lets his words hang. You and your mom aren’t well off. You never have been. You live in that suburb by the grace of your grandmother’s bequeathal. An emergency room visit isn’t cheap and a nurse is completely beyond your stipend. You frown.
“But...” you blink. “I take care of mom. I...” you feel bad to mention the money but it’s your only income, even if most of it goes back to her.
“I know, honey, we talked about that too,” he leans forward and caresses your arm, just above your elbow, “and it’s okay. I told you, I’m going to take care of you both. I’m here to support you. Maybe... maybe you could find something else to earn some money. I know a few gallery owners...”
You keep your head down as goosebumps rise under his touch. It crawls up under your loose sleeve. You shrink down further.
“Maybe... I’m not that good.”
“Who told you that?” He continues to tickle you, more firmly as he shifts closer. “I know it’ll be strange at first, sweetie, but we all just need to get used to each other.”
You stretch your hands across your sketchbook and go rigid.
“It’s okay if it’s a lot to process. Take your time,” his hand creeps along your shoulder and down the back, edging along your bra. What is he doing?
You croak, “okay.”
“You know, sweetie,” he retracts his hand from your sleeve and tugs it straight. You wince as he leans forward and nudges your chin up, “today was intense but I don’t want you to be unhappy.”
You just stare at him. What does he want you to say? You can barely think straight.
“And screw what that waiter said, that dress looked gorgeous on you,” he smiles and drags his fingertips down your neck, his eyes following them, “it fits you perfectly.”
You clasp your sketchbook tight as heat roils around you. It must be the humidity or the sunlight boiling you from the inside. His hand dances along your tee shirt and he sits back, balling his hand up as he rests it on his thigh.
“Here, let me show you,” he lifts one hip and reaches into his pocket. He pulls out his phone, “look.”
He flicks through his phone and brings up a photo. He turns the screen towards you and you reluctantly glance at it. You lean in as you can hardly make it out at first. It’s zoomed in so it’s just you and Steve. You cringe at how your chest seems about to burst from the dress. Your gaze trails down to his fingers curled into your side and sensation ripples up your spine at the memory.
“You’re a pretty young woman,” he says, “having a nurse, well, that means you’ll get to enjoy this very exciting time in your life.”
You sit back. You can’t look at the picture again. It’s awful. You hate it.
There’s a tap on the door and you flinch. Steve sits back stiffly and cranes to see over his shoulder. He blacks the phone screen and stands slowly, his hand grazing over his belt and giving a subtle tug. The fabric along the front tents as if creased. You don’t know, you hardly look at the odd bulging. You don’t even know how you noticed.
He spins and waves at your mom as she leans weakly against the inside of the sliding doors.
“Must be her new meds,” he says, “I’ll be back, sweetie.”
#steve rogers#dark steve rogers#dark!steve rogers#steve rogers x reader#drabble#series#the girl next door#au#silverfox au#mcu#marvel#captain america#avengers
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Online Matchup 4
Summery: Y/N makes a trip back home last minute, ruining Jason's plan for a breakfast date, but that won't stop him from coming up with a different plan.
Warning: swearing, talk of surgery, Jason's being a sweetheart, fluff
A/n: this is becoming one of my comfort fics to write, and I can't be mad about it. I'm glad you guys are enjoying it. Feedbacks always welcome
Words: 3097
Ao3
Series master list
——
October 8
Jason (6:40am) Good morning How are you this beautiful morning?
Y/N Why in the everloving fuck are you awake at six in the morning?
Jason Aren’t you a potty mouth in the early mornings Someone should teach you a lesson
Y/N It’s to early for anything right now
Jason’s May I remind you, that you’re awake this early too
Y/N My sister decided it was the perfect time to call me Apparently it couldn’t wait until I was awake enough to call her back And now I can’t sleep
Jason Everything okay?
Y/N Define okay?
Jason It’s your dad isn’t it?
Y/N Yeah I don’t know, I don’t want to talk about it
Jason Fair enough
Y/N Now answer my question
Jason Demanding Wanted to know how you were doing after last night
Y/N Better now that I’ve slept I wish I could sleep longer tho Though my eyes hurt and it feels like I have a hangover
Jason Consequences of crying before bed
Y/N Make it go away
Jason Wanna meet for breakfast? Y/N?
Y/N (8:35am) Oh, sorry I fell asleep
Jason Uh huh It has nothing to do with the fact that I asked if you wanted to go for breakfast
Y/n Mm don’t know what you’re talking about And isn’t there a rule where a guy has to wait a least three days Before you ask the girl out again
Jason Apparently My brother advised me the same thing But since I could care less what he thinks about my relationship I have decided to ignore him and take the plunge and ask you anyways Besides he barely listens to his own advice So to each their own I guess
Y/N Why do I get the feeling that you ignore your brother a lot
Jason Couldn’t tell you So, breakfast?
Y/N Uh, wish I could But I have a train to catch
Jason Where’s it going?
Y/N Metropolis
Jason You're going home? Why so sudden?
Y/n The call with my sister? Apparently my dad is having surgery and my mom wants everyone there until he’s done Don’t know why I have to go, by the time I’m there it’ll probably be over
Jason Yikes What’s the surgery for?
Y/N Dunno, something to do with something? I’m not sure, I was half asleep when she called And she used that to her advantage and got me to agree to go home today
Jason Don’t you have class tomorrow?
Y/N Not until the afternoon
Jason Work?
Y/n Not until Tuesday
Jason Huh
Y/n Yup tbh I rather spend my Sunday with you then go home But it’s family and I can’t say no to my sister
Jason I get that family’s first But I would choose you over my family
Y/n … You can’t just say that!
Jason But flustering you is becoming my favourite past time
Y/n Get a new one!
Jason Nah, don’t think I will Okay, so no breakfast How about I drop you off at the station?
Y/N Tempting But if you do, then I’ll miss the train Because I wanna kiss your stupid face And besides, I’m almost there
Jason My face isn’t stupid … You wanna kiss me? Colour me flattered
Y/n I rescind my statement
Jason Can’t do that, it’s in writing Hold on, when you said you were sleeping You were actually packing, weren’t you?
Y/N Guilty I’m sorry I’ve spent thirty minutes debating on whether or not to ditch my family for you
Jason But in the end you’re ditching me Feels like your running from something I see how it is
Y/N I’m sorry D: I’m not running away or anything
Jason It’s okay, really I’m not mad or anything Okay, maybe a little disappointed But he’s your dad and you don’t know when’s the next time you see him So it’s okay, don’t feel bad I’ll wait around until your back And I know your not, I just took the joke too far and I’m sorry
Y/n I’m still sorry
Jason Can I call you?
Y/N Uhhhhhhh Give me a minute
Jason Take as much time as you need I can wait
Y/n Sweet of you But I needed to find a seat first And then my headphones
Jason So You’re good now?
Y/n Yup
It didn’t take more than a second before your phone rang after you sent the message.
“I thought you wanted to call?” you answered, moving your phone so Jason could see your face. He shrugged, shooting you a smile.
“Wanted to see your pretty face is all,” he said, and you could feel your face heat up at the compliment. Averting your eyes, you sink in your seat, trying to hide your face in your sweater. “Awe, is this what you look like when you get flustered? There’s no way I can't stop flustering you now. If this is what your reaction is going to be every time I do.”
“I’m hanging up now,” you mumbled into your sweater, and wondered if he heard that. Judging by the smile he gave you, he did.
“Nah, I don’t think so. You called my face pretty and you wanted to kiss it,” he said. That made you come out of your sweater and glared at him.
“I think I said stupid face,” you corrected, “you have a stupid face.”
“That you want to kiss,” Jason pointed out with a smile. You stuck out your tongue at him, making him laugh. “How’s the train ride?”
You shrugged, shifting in your seat trying to get comfortable. “A train ride I guess. We just left the station and it’ll be two hours until we get to Metropolis? My butts gonna hurt once I get there.”
“Gotta walk around once in a while,” Jason reminded, “did you bring anything for the ride?”
“Yeah, homework I still need to finish, my sketchbook and some books I’ve been meaning to read.”
“Sounds like a party,” Jason joked. You huffed out a laugh.
“Oh yeah, real life of the party over here.”
Before either of you could continue, you faintly heard a door slamming open and closing before hearing a faint call of Jason! You promised me breakfast! From what you could make out, it was a female voice and you pushed down the bout of jealousy that came from nowhere. You didn’t have the right to be jealous. Jason wasn’t yours, he was his own person and you two weren’t seeing each other officially. He was free to do what he pleased. Still, you couldn’t lie and say that it didn’t hurt.
You watched as Jason scowled, and turned towards the voice. “Yeah, give me a minute I’m on the phone.”
You schooled your features and raised an eyebrow as he turned back to his phone. “You already had breakfast plans, yet you still tried to make them with me? Wow Jason, didn’t know you had that in you.”
“Okay, first of all, I’m not a two timing bitch,” he clarified and you blanched at the statement. Damn, and you thought you hid it well. “And like I said before, I’d ditch my family for you any day of the week without question.”
“Aw Jason, you’d ditch your own sister! I see how it is,” the female voice said. Jason made a face as a blond haired girl came into frame, hanging off of Jason’s shoulders. Her nose pressed into his cheek and she smiled. “Tell me how you really feel, Jason.”
“Okay, I will,” he said, shoving her off, “you’re an annoying little shit.” She laughed and turned towards the phone. She was pretty, you had to admit.
“Oh, Tim’s right. You are cute,” she said, and you pulled your sweater over your mouth, trying to keep a laugh in as Jason looked offended.
“Steph!” he yelled, shoving her face out of frame. “Go away.”
“No, you promised me breakfast last night, and I demand pancakes,” she said, coming back in, shoving Jason out of frame as she did so. She turned to you and smiled. “Hello, I’m Jason’s sister Stephanie. You must be Y/N, it’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard virtually nothing about you.”
“And I’m trying to keep it that way,” he grunted, pushing her away. The two fought until finally they settled with Stephanie leaning on his shoulder. “How’d you even know their name?”
“Tim,” she answered. You raised your eyebrow in question. “He gets bored when he has nothing to do. And he decided to snoop around Jason’s life.”
“Well I’ll try not to be offended,” you said, though you furrowed your brows in concern. “Should I be worried?”
“I don’t think so,” Stephanie hummed, “not unless you have something to hide.”
“Do you have something to hide?” Jason pressed, a teasing smile dancing on his lips. You puffed out your cheeks and looked away.
“Oooh you do,” Stephanie sang, “tell us before we find out from Tim.”
“Tim needs to mind his own fucking business,” you muttered to yourself, causing Jason to laugh. “And no, I have nothing to hide. Lived a pretty boring life.”
“Don’t know, you tried killing your sister once,” Jason mused.
“I didn’t try on purpose! I pushed her off the deck into the lake,” you corrected, “and my dad got to her before anything could happen. Man, he was pissed. I feared for my life that day. I’ve never known fear until I saw the look he gave me.” You shuddered at the memory.
“How old were you?” Stephanie asked, worry laced in her words. You shrugged, staring at the corner of your phone, avoiding their gaze.
“Ten I think? Could be younger, I don’t know. Thought it would be funny, and it was until it wasn’t.”
“Did he hurt you?” Jason asked, you shook your head and moved your gaze to him.
“No. But the way he looked, he wanted to. If we were alone he probably would have. I booked it into the car and hid there until we went home. Then I hid in my room for the rest of the day.”
“Yikes. Why was he so mad? Bruce wouldn’t have been if we did something like that.”
“That’s because we knew how to take care of ourselves and we knew how to swim,” Jason pointed out.
“And he probably doesn’t have favourites,” you chimed in. You hummed in thought, ignoring the worried looks the two siblings were giving you. “But he doesn’t strike me as picking a favourite among his kids, unless he’s really good at hiding it. But no parent is that good at hiding that.”
“Have experience, do you?” Jason asked, you only hummed not wanting to elaborate. You aren’t sure how, but what was supposed to be a lighthearted conversation turned sour. You scrunched up your nose as a thought occurred to you. If it was this easy to talk to both Jason and Stephanie, you were afraid how the rest of his family would be. “Whatcha thinking about?”
“What you guys are having for breakfast,” you said instead of you voicing your thoughts.
“Ooh yes. I did come here for breakfast,” Stephanie said, as if she had forgotten the reason for being here. She turned to him and poked his cheek. “Make me pancakes with bacon and ham and eggs and everything.”
“How can you eat so much and not gain anything,” Jason grumbled as he moved off the couch and towards the kitchen. Stephanie shifted slightly so she was more centered to the camera.
“I work out,” she simply said with a shrug. Jason grumbled something, and since he was too far away you couldn’t hear what he said. “So, how’d you meet Jason anyways? Tim won’t say and Jason doesn’t want to talk about you when asked.”
“That’s because you pester me so much that I don’t want to talk about them,” Jason called, “and you don’t have to answer anything you want too, Y/N. Don’t let Stephanie bully you into answering questions.”
“It’s okay, Jason, I don’t mind. I know what it’s like to have siblings,” you said with a smile. “We met online. Started talking a few weeks back and haven’t stopped since.”
“Ah, you guys are still new,” Stephanie mused, “that means you can still back out before you guys get too serious.” You laughed at the same time Jason yelled hey! “Kidding, I’m kidding. I haven’t seen Jason happy in awhile. Please stick around, he’s more bearable when he’s happy.”
You watched as Jason stalked towards her, and plucked the phone from her. “If all you came here for was to make fun of me, you can go home without your food.”
“Noooo, Jason I’m sorry,” you heard Stephanie whine. And you couldn't be sure, but you saw Stephanie grovel a little bit on the floor. Although Stephanie couldn’t see Jason’s expression, you could and smiled at the little smile he shot you.
“Then go take a shower, you stink,” he said, and she was quick to race to the bathroom. “Your clothes are still here from last time!” he called and set the phone down so watch him as he prepared breakfast. “Sorry about her. I completely forgot she was coming over today.”
“No worries,” you dismissed, watching in awe as Jason cut up some vegetables with ease. “She was fun to talk to.”
“Prefer her over me, huh?”
“Nope. I like you more,” you said. “Where’d you learn how to cook?”
“Alfred taught me when I was young, and I kept going afterwards. Found it helped me when things got too stressed,” he explained. “Stress cooking is a lot healthier than other ways to deal.”
“I get that,” you mused, “I stress clean.”
“Nothing wrong with that,” he grunted. He stopped for a moment and looked towards you; eyes narrowed. “Did you have breakfast this morning?” You bit the top of your lip and avoided looking at him. “Y/N,” Jason said in warning.
“It was too early to eat!” you cracked, “I had a coffee and that was it.” Jason shook his head, going back to his food.
“I hope you eat something soon.”
“I packed some snacks. But they’re nothing compared to what you’re making for breakfast.”
“Well next time actually eat something or else I’ll just have to come over and cook for you.”
“That a threat?”
“No, more like a promise.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” you said with a smile.
“Stop flirting and cook me my food!” Stephanie yelled after the quickest shower you have ever seen someone take.
“So fucking demanding,” Jason grunted as you laughed.
“I should let you go so you can focus on the food instead of getting distracted,” you mused.
“But you’re the only kind of distraction I’d like,” he said, and you heard Stephanie gag. Laughing, you shook your head, trying to keep from blushing. “Okay maybe you’re right. Or otherwise, I’m going to throw Steph out the window.”
“Ha! I would like to see you try!”
Jason rolled his eyes and flicked them towards you. “Let me know when you’re there?”
“I can do that.”
---
Y/N (11:30 am) Ugh, I hate train rides
Jason Could have flown
Y/N Yeah but train tickets are cheaper
Jason True Made it in one piece?
Y/N Yup Now I’m making my way to the hospital
Jason Someone picking you up?
Y/n Nah, I’m taking the bus Need the extra time before I get there
Jason I get that
Y/n How was breakfast?
Jason Good Though it would be better if it was you
Y/n Stoooooooopppppppp
Jason Never I’m sorry about Steph, we can be a handful sometimes
Y/n No worries, I like her Is the rest of your family that energetic?
Jason Some yeah, the rest are just tamed
Y/n Sounds fun
Jason Oh yeah, the best
Y/n I can hear the sincerity from here
Jason Almost to the hospital?
Y/n Yeah I gotta go
Jason Tell me how it goes
Y/N (2:40 pm) I shouldn’t have come Why did I say yes?
Jason Because you were sleep deprived and you can’t say no to your sister Also because your dads in the hospital
Y/n Right He’s fine by they way, now he’s just recovering Doctors say they did what they could and he’ll be out of here in a couple of days
Jason Figured out what the surgery was about?
Y/N Nope and at this point I’m too afraid to ask
Jason Wow Why do you have regrets?
Y/n I don’t know how or why But somehow my sister figured out I was seeing someone Or at least talking to someone and kept pestering me until I told them I’ve been bamboozled
Jason Guess I’m not your dirty little secret anymore huh
Y/n Guess it wasn’t meant to be Oh well can’t be helped
Jason So now that your dads fine, you coming home?
Y/n No Somehow I have been convinced to stay the night and take the morning train in the morning Which sucks, I already bought my ticket for tonight
Jason That’s rough buddy
Y/n Can’t be helped I guess Now I get to play 20 questions
Jason But at least you get to spend time with your family
Y/n True
Jason you know, if you want I can drive up there and take the train with you
Y/N That is very sweet of you and very tempting But you have work and I don’t want to inconvenience you
Jason You’re not an inconvenience If anything, you’d be doing me a favour I have the day off tomorrow and I’ve been meaning to do something I’m not very good at doing nothing
Y/N What about your bike?
Jason When I said drive, I meant the loosely I’d take the train or fly Or I can drive us back I have a car too, you know
Y/N Where would you stay?
Jason I have a friend living there that I’ve been meaning to visit Plus we can go for breakfast tomorrow before making the trip back
Y/N Very tempting But ultimately I’m not going to tell you what to do It’d be your choice
Jason See you in the morning then
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— ft. bokuto koutaro
genre: fluff, slice of life, comedy
wc: 3.0k words | m.list
a/n: continuation of the bokuto baby fever drabble \^o^/
[03:23 pm] "oh? Akaashi-san! so nice of you to drop by!" you say with a smile on your face. standing before you was Akaashi in his casual clothes — a day off from work probably, who was holding a box in his hand. the dark-haired boy slightly bowed before meeting your eyes with a soft smile on his face as well.
"(Y/n)-san, I hope I'm not disturbing. I just wanted to drop these tarts and ask how the pregnancy's going."
Akaashi saw how your eyes lit up when he raised the box of tarts, knowing how much of a sweet-tooth you are.
"That's so sweet of you! You're not disturbing at all. Good thing Koutaro's home. He'll be happy to see you. Please come in."
You say as you thanked Akaashi for the tarts as you took it from him, stepping aside to welcome him in your and Bokuto's shared home. Akaashi took off his shoes and placed his coat on the rack before following you to the living room.
Akaashi scans the familiar room and noticed how calm it was. You noticed this and can't help but giggle.
"Kou's still having his shower from his afternoon workout. Have a seat while I prepare some refreshments. "
"No, it's okay (Y/n)-san. Won't your feet and back hurt?" Akaashi then eyes your very pregnant tummy — it looked like it was going to pop any second. You were already in the ninth month of your pregnancy, and your due date was fast approaching.
"You don't have to worry about that. I've just been sitting around all day anyway" you say with a chuckle, both hands now on your tummy, patting it lightly.
This was your first pregnancy. It had been a sore and tiring nine months for you as your stomach was getting heavier each day. Your feet would hurt whenever you walk, and your back would ache. But the pain wasn't that drastic as you thought it would be. You'd probably thank Bokuto for that since Bokuto somehow made a smart decision to enroll you in a prenatal yoga class. You were even surprised of how he got the idea in the first place knowing how clueless your husband is when it comes to these things — or maybe he has the initiative when it comes to taking care of you.
The thought of Bokuto asking around on how to help you during the pregnancy sent butterflies to your stomach and warms your heart.
Bokuto was mostly present during your yoga sessions. He was all for fitness and seeing those yoga positions that were taught in class, he would assist you whenever you'll do yoga at home — positioning you properly, crouching beside you and always hover his hands near your back whenever you use the yoga ball so that you'll not fall on the ground, and sometimes snapping some pictures for your Instagram stories on your pregnancy journey.
"Hey hey hey! Akaashi you're here!"
The booming voice of Bokuto fills in the room as he descended from your shared bedroom — his eyes bright and a big smile was plastered on his face as he saw his best friend.
"Hello Bokuto-san. Yeah, I wanted to visit you and (Y/N). It's been a while since I dropped by" Akaashi says with a smile. Bokuto laughs gleefully and pats Akaashi on the back, rather a bit hard as Akaashi let out a huff, making you giggle. The two haven't changed a bit.
"We're doing great! I'm so excited for our little Bokuto to come soon" Bokuto says with a proud smile on his face. You could still remember the time of when Bokuto got you pregnant. All because of a stuffed toy you ordered online.
"Baby, could you bring these to the table?" You called, making Bokuto turn to you and was about to head to the kitchen when Akaashi offered to take it so that Bokuto could assist you to sit down.
The three of you sat down and tried to catch up. It has indeed been awhile. Akaashi was the one who would often visit you two. But his usual days in visiting came to a halt when his company hit something big that kept him busy for the past couple of weeks. Nevertheless, the rest of the afternoon was filled with good food, jokes and laughs.
"When are you due, (Y/N)-san?" asks Akaashi
"Next week. A bit nerve-wracking if you ask me" you say as you sip some juice.
"You don't have to worry about that, baby. I'm here!" Bokuto says as he lovingly caresses your baby bump, which made Akaashi smile as he watched you two. Akaashi never thought this day would come. His best friend was about to become a father. Bokuto may not look like he is responsible enough to have a family but that's far from it.
Outside of your shared walls, he's a volleyball superstar who plays with his heart and in his element of being a professional athlete — yet, inside your sacred home there lies a caring husband and partner who's always there for you through every struggle despite how these things are quite new to him — yet, he welcomed this unfamiliarity with open arms because he wants to be with you and your world — a world where he wants to be in for the rest of his life, with his volleyball career of course.
"So I'm guessing you two already have a plan then? And if Bokuto-san will be with you in the delivery room during labor?"
this made you cackle out loud, making Bokuto confused.
"Why are you laughing babe?"
Akaashi figured out why.
You dramatically wiped tears from your eyes and crossed your arms, "I don't think you'll last for more than five seconds in there, babe" you say, still cackling.
"Wha- what makes you think that?!"
"Kou, I've shown you a video on childbirth. You fainted! And the video was still paused. just the sight of it makes you a goner"
"I am not! I'm big and strong, I can handle it!" He looks away and crosses his arms, closing his eyes as if he was offended, making Akaashi sigh.
"Bokuto-san, (Y/N) isn't referring to your physical strength. It's your mental strength is what she means, if you could take on her giving birth."
"I know what she means" Bokuto stubbornly says, still looking away from the both of you. This made Akaashi sigh again while you let out a giggle.
"Okay, Kou. You'll be in the delivery room with me. My big, buffy, brave man" you say, placing your hand on the side of his face and kissed his cheek sweetly, his mood instantly brightened and couldn't help but wrap his arms around you and planted many kisses on your face.
"Kou that's enough. Akaashi-san's right in front of us!"
Akaashi smiles and stands up, telling you that he'll wash the dishes despite your protests.
A week later.
It was the middle of night. It was like those usual nights. You would wake up around this hour to take leak. You don't want to disturb your husband as he was peacefully sleeping beside you after a tiring day from practice, so you wiggled out of bed quietly as possible. As you were finally on your feet, you felt a sudden jolt of pain coming from your uterus, making you exhale sharply and holding onto the wall for support. Your contractions were getting worse. You thought it was one of those false contractions, since it had been on and off for the past couple of days. But boy, another contraction hits once you stepped in the bathroom, making you hiss and grab onto the sink, gripping onto it while sweat trickled down your forehead.
Your other hand held onto the bottom of your baby bump, trying to soothe your discomfort. discomfort was an understatement. your breath hastens as another wave of contraction hits you, making you hiss loudly.
You tried to calm your breathing, letting out a shaky breath, eyes closed, your body feeling a bit numb. The pain was still there, yet what made your heart stop for a moment was the feeling something wet trickling down your thighs down to your feet.
Your water broke.
It took you a couple of seconds before realizing that your baby was finally on the way, hundreds of emotions rushing through you, your mind a bit of a mess on what you'll do first. But one thing's for sure, Bokuto was there.
"B-babe? baby?! Kou!" you called from the bathroom. Bokuto groans and turned to your side of the bed, confused as you were not there. His head then instantly turns to the bathroom to see you just standing there but with an alarmed look on your face, like you were in distress.
"(Y/N)? What's wrong?" Bokuto suddenly feels awake, quickly rushing to you.
"No wait careful! You'll step onto my water!"
Bokuto furrows his eyebrows before looking down, making his eyes widen.
"Oh my god baby! Our little owl's-"
"Aghh!" you groaned loudly this time, making Bokuto panic a little as he saw your pained face but quickly manned up and took you out of the bathroom. Bokuto let you sit down for a moment, quickly grabbing the hospital bag that you prepared beforehand. You let out another groan, tears starting to form on your eyes.
"Koutaro! Please hurryy!"
As Bokuto picked up the car keys, he then rushes to you, crouching down to meet your eyes, running a hand through your sweaty hair with a loving smile on his face. If this were the high school Bokuto, he wouldn't know what to do and would be a panic mess. But this Bokuto has matured. He may be silly at times but when it comes to you, his mind is clear and will do anything in his power to keep you safe and healthy.
"Let's go have that baby" Bokuto says before kissing your forehead and lifting you bridal style, taking you to the car. Making sure you were comfortable in your seat, Bokuto then heads for the driver's seat then speeds away to the hospital you've booked beforehand.
Finally arriving at the hospital, nurses were there escorting you the delivery room, with Bokuto making calls as he was outside while the nurses were preparing you for your delivery. He called both of your families to inform them you were about to give birth. Deep down, Bokuto was nervous as hell. He was about to become a father. The thought of you becoming a mother too instantly warms his heart.
Few moments later, a nurse came out from the delivery room to give Bokuto a throwaway coverall for cleanliness. Bokuto was then allowed to head inside. As his eyes lands on you, he quickly holds your hand.
"Baby! Are you alright?!"
"Does it look like I'm okay?! I'm about to push a baby out of my pussy you banged!"
Bokuto's eyes widen, and his face turned red as he saw some nurses giggling at your retort, but he knows it was just a stressful and painful time for you.
"Okay okay, j-just hold onto my -"
Bokuto couldn't finish his sentence as he was quickly cut off by your screams as another contraction came, which was a bit violent compared to the past contractions you experienced. Bokuto didn't expect you had this kind of strength as you were somehow crushing his hand.
"B-babe! that's my spike hand! hold onto the other one"
You slapped his dominant hand away and switched to the left one, giving it a much tighter squeeze, making Bokuto hold onto his breath. Whatever pain he was experiencing, he knows you had it far worse. You were breathing heavily, and tiredness was visible on your face. Bokuto wiped the sweat from your forehead and kissed your head, mumbling comforting words to soothe you and distract you from the pain.
"I've got you baby. You got this. You're the strongest woman I know! You're gonna be one hot momma!" says Bokuto, trying to lighten the mood, only to be met by one of your horrifying screams. Just then, the doctor finally arrived.
"Oh thank god doctor you are here! Please help my wife!" your ob-gyne acknowledges your husband, securing her gloves before sitting down, taking a peek of your cervix.
"Alright let's get started. Your cervix is well-dilated now. Mr. Bokuto, please assist your wife by being there for her"
Bokuto nods vigorously, giving your hand an assuring squeeze.
"Alright (Y/N), whenever I say push, count 1 to 3 before you actually push, okay?"
You nod, trying to catch some breath. You could feel Bokuto's thumbs caressing the top of your hand, making you calm down a little.
"Push!"
As you pushed, Bokuto was holding in his breath as well. Like he was also the one pushing the baby with you.
"Push!"
A week before, you made a deal with Bokuto that he can look anywhere, only he will not look down there during labor. Yet, curiosity got the better of him. He just wanted to see your baby owl as soon as possible. With one eye open, he took a quick glance, only to see blood everywhere and how he couldn't process how it stretched so much, making him a bit lightheaded.
The doctor notices this, gesturing to the nurses.
"Oh no. We've got another fainter. Please assist."
You were too busy and too in pain to notice that your big, buffy, six foot husband was already on the floor, unconscious. The nurses had to call for back up as they couldn't carry Bokuto by themselves. By the time he was carried out of the room, taking him to your pre-booked room where you'll be staying at after giving birth, you heard loud cries that made your heart swell and tears started to stream down your face.
Your baby owl was finally in the same world as you.
"Congratulations, (Y/N). It's a bummer your husband isn't here with you right now" says the doctor as she carefully gave you your baby who was now wrapped in a blanket, you cooing at her as she was still crying.
"I told him not to look down there. But anyway, at least he'll wake up to some good news." You say with a giggle.
Hours passed since the successful delivery of your baby. You were now peacefully sleeping in the room you and Bokuto booked, which was a bit luxurious. Bokuto wanted your birth to be comfortable and stress-free as possible.
You were regaining consciousness from your slumber, making you yawn and scan the room. There you saw Bokuto sleeping by your side, his head resting on the edge of the bed while holding your hand, making you smile and ran a hand through his hair.
"Oh Kou~ you must've been tired." you say, still running your fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp. This pulled Bokuto from his slumber, blinking rapidly as he was trying to get into the right headspace. Then he saw you. How can someone who had just given birth be so glowing and beautiful?
"You're so beautiful, my love" Bokuto says in a soft tone, a loving and soft smile on his face as he sits down on the bed, leaning down to rest his forehead on yours, intertwining your hands together.
This made you blush. Despite how long you two have already been together, Bokuto still manages to make you feel giddy inside, as he feels the same way from you. This side of Bokuto still overwhelms you whenever you two are alone together.
When out in public, his love for you is loud and proud. But when you two are just alone, there shows another side of Bokuto, a soft Loverboy who is an absolute simp for you.
"You fainted" you say with a giggle, breaking your moment of serenity.
Bokuto sits up and looks away, a bit embarrassed.
"I never expected that there'll be so much blood!" he defended himself, making you giggle even more.
"I told you not to look" Bokuto pouts before resting his head lightly on your chest. Then he remembered.
"Our baby! When can I see them? You never told me if it's a boy or a girl!"
Before you could reply, a knock was heard. Bokuto then pressed a button, giving approval of entry to the whoever was behind the door. There entered a nurse who was pushing a hospital infant cot bed, and there lies your baby all clean and in pink overalls.
"Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Bokuto. Your baby is all set. We've checked everything from her vitals to gross description records and paperwork. The doctor instructed that you'll stay in the hospital for at least 2 days before discharging for observation. For the meantime, you may tend to your baby. Please keep her warm at all times and you may breastfeed her."
And with that, the nurse left the room, giving you and Bokuto some privacy. You were confused as to why Bokuto was still quiet. He was staring at your baby.
"Kou?" you asked worriedly, but then you saw how Bokuto carefully picked your baby up and slowly turned to face you, his eyes watery and couldn't hold back a smile on his face.
"I-It's a baby girl" he says, his voice cracking as he looks down at the small human in his arms who was sleeping peacefully. Just the sight of it makes your eyes water. You never thought this day would come. The scene before you made your heart feel full.
Bokuto then made his way towards you, giving you your baby girl, cradling it in your arms.
"Our little owl's so beautiful, and so is her momma! I love you so much, (Y/N). You have no idea how excited I am to announce to the world that we finally have baby."
"I love you so much too, Kou."
Bokuto leans down to kiss you lovingly on your lips before wrapping an arm around your waist, caressing your hip affectionately while resting his head on yours, admiring the little of bundle of joy you gave into this world. Bokuto couldn't asked for anything better, because the world he currently he is in is perfect. He got his successful volleyball career, his friends, the love of his life, and now your little owl that he'll love with all his heart with you.
comments and reblogs are much appreciated <3
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagine#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu imagines#bokuto koutaro#haikyuu bokuto#bokuto koutaro x reader#bokuto x you#bokuto x reader#bokuto x fem!reader#akaashi#akaashi x reader#haikyuu akaashi#bokuto fluff
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Today:
I wake up at three in the morning to go to the airport
I got two hours of sleep because I make good life choices
I’m in the last boarding group so I have to courtesy check my suitcase
Ten minutes later I have a moment of utter panic because I can’t find my suitcase
In my defense it is extremely morning and I got two hours of sleep
Flight itself is mostly uneventful
However:
Apparently we landed just ahead of a nasty storm
The pilot says all the planes behind us were probably getting diverted to other airports
Man I really dodged a bullet
Sure my flight to Kansas City is probably delayed but there’s some slack in my schedule, I can manage
My flight to Kansas City is not delayed
It is cancelled
Fuck
If I reschedule online I can’t get to Kansas City until tomorrow
Tomorrow *night*, specifically
I mean technically I could go to Chicago and then back to Kansas City and get there at 8 or so but that seems way too convoluted and anyway it’s too late to make the connection
Wait a second
I am not actually going to Kansas City
I am going to a tiny campground in the middle of nowhere
I am just meeting friends in Kansas City because it’s on the way
I could go to other places
Briefly consider renting a car to just drive from Dallas to the camp site
There is a flash flood warning
Also: two hours of sleep
Never mind definitely not doing that
I stand in line for one hour and fifty-five minutes to talk to a person
The people just ahead of me in line are dealing with their second cancelled flight in two days across two different airports
Damn that sucks
The airline books me on an afternoon flight to Springfield
If the camp site is in the middle of nowhere then Springfield would be the edge of nowhere
Friends make arrangements to get me picked up
At this point I am exhausted and my feet hurt and my phone’s battery is nearly dead
I get to my gate and collapse in a chair
Text from the airline:
The flight to Springfield is cancelled
I was booked for less than an hour
Maybe the planes behind mine are the ones that dodged a bullet
I get in another line
By now I have been in the airport for five and a half hours and I’ve been standing for five of them
At least the line is shorter this time
Agent says there are no open seats on flights to Springfield for the rest of the evening
But he spends a minute refreshing to see if an opening comes up
An opening comes up
In first class
(I’ve never flown first class before)
At PRECISELY the same moment I get a text from my partner
Trump is convicted on all counts
You know what
I take it back
Today doesn’t entirely suck
I don’t even mind when that flight is delayed two hours too
More time to nap and watch the gundam lesbians show
(Holy shit that’s some intense tonal whiplash at the end of the first season)
(So good)
Am I forgetting something?
No
Probably not
I get on the flight
My three hour layover took twelve hours
Goodbye Dallas I’ll see you in hell (Dallas)
Land in Springfield just after midnight
My suitcase is in Kansas City
#thankfully I have everything I need that is not clothes#and I should have clothes again tomorrow#Dallas was truly hell today#at one point around a third of all flights were cancelled#and all the others were significantly delayed#do not want to repeat that experience
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These are two concept drawings of some golem figurines I’ve been planning to make for a while now. I would really like to get more into sculpting, I did clay sculptures for my highschool art class and I really enjoyed making them, my art teacher said that she was impressed because even though it was my first time doing it I quickly developed a unique style for that medium, I don’t have my sculptures from high school anymore, but I think I still have some pictures of them from before they were dry.
The first sketch is of a standard Golem design, the hebrew style I actually borrowed from a friend’s handwriting because her’s is quite pretty imo. The second one is actually supposed to look kind of like me, I gave it my most common and preferred hairstyle, a bob and the heavy bangs, my signature look!
I was inspired to start this project because I saw some really cool little golem figurines online, most notably that one really iconic one they sell in Prague gift shops (I’m sure you know the one), that one specifically inspired the “Arms resting on belly” design choice for mine. I really want to realize this concept at some point hopefully sooner than later, fingers crossed I finally get the chance!
Anyways, that’s all for today. I know this is much smaller compared to what I’ve posted thus far, but I hope you still find it to be enjoyable. Once I actually make the figures themselves I’ll be sure to post them here, whenever that is… and with that I bid you all a good morning, afternoon, evening, or night depending on where you’re reading this from.
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r/akihaowners
A place for questions and conversations about owning and caring for your Akiha. For photos and videos, check out r/akihas.
14.7k masters | 19 online | Top 5% ranked by size
Posts sorted by hot
===
Topic: [Adopting] Where to Boy Akihas
u/throwaway5318008 posted 3 hours ago:
Hey guys i'm looking to buy an Akiha, but i'm a college student so i don't have a lot of money right now. how cheap can i get one for?
EDIT: BUY I MEANT BUY. FUCK I CAN'T CHANGE THE TITLE.
u/charzardass replied 2 hours ago:
Fellow boy-Akiha enjoyer detected ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) A man of culture, I see.
If you want one for cheap and don't mind buying used, check your local Facebook marketplace or Craigslist. I've been lucky enough to get several for under $50 ea. Happy hunting!
u/pm-me-akiha-titties replied 3 hours ago:
If you're a college student, the cost of buying an Akiha isn't your biggest concern. You'll need to pay for routine veterinary care, clothing, a cane (many cheap Akihas won't be sold with a cane), enrichment (Akihas don't like being left alone! What are you going to do when you're in classes?), and, of course, food? The Akiha Care Guide provides an estimate of monthly expenses for Akiha raising.
| u/throwaway5318008 (OP) replied 2 hours ago:
| Yeah i live in a dorm but its a single so i dont have roommates. And i was thinking she could just hang out in my apartment while im in class? And i can bring back food from the dining hall. So i dont think she really needs clothes or whatever if shes in my room the whole time.
|| u/knightyknight replied 1 hour ago:
|| yeah OP you can ignore that simp. some people love to spoil and coddle their akihas and then warn eeeeeeveryone how expensive they are. well of course they're expensive if you treat them like people.
|| anyways I have a buddy who's an akiha breeder so I get mine for dirt cheap. you can always try to find a breeder in your area and offer to buy the dams off them once they stop being fertile -- they'll usually sell them for next to nothing to clear up space for the next young dams. ===
Topic: [Advice] How to make less noisy?
u/SmolTaterTot posted 7 hours ago:
Hi folks. I recently bought an Akiha, and I love him to pieces! The only problem is... I don't think I was prepared for how noisy they can be. Mine's always meowing and moaning and whining all day and night. I've read the FAQs, so I tried hitting him when he wakes me up in the middle of the night, but he hasn't stopped. Any advice?
u/himejooooooshi replied 5 hours ago:
UNGRATEFUL [huffy face][huffy face] being whiny and needy is an Akiha's charm point
u/ArrowToTheNiichan replied 7 hours ago:
You done goofed. You clearly aren't giving him enough attention since he's crying all the time, so hitting him (i.e. giving him attention) when he wakes you up is just encouraging the behavior. Go back and RTFM again, specifically the part about behavioral conditioning.
But it's true that Akihas tend to be pretty loud no matter what. Some vets can remove the vocal cords for you if it really bothers you that much, but insurance won't cover it. Good luck.
===
Topic: TIFU by getting a "friendly" pair of akihas
u/sirtwixalot posted 12 hours ago:
I read that akihas need attention and get lonely easily, but they can also be intimidated by unfamiliar akihas, so I decided to buy a pair of akihas from the same breeder so that they could keep each other company.
I got them Friday afternoon, and they spent Saturday and Sunday grooming each other and wrestling together. One of them calls the other "nee-san," and the other calls the first one her "puppy." So they seemed to be getting along really well. I wasn't even having the problems with them refusing to bathe or eat that I hear sometimes happens with akihas. So I thought they seemed like really good companions for each other.
Then on Monday.... I went to work and left them at the house.
When I came back... I think I'd be banned if I described what I saw.
Imagine if a jar of mayo exploded all over a bed.
Sooooooo TIFU.
u/himejooooooshi replied 9 hours ago:
No problem detected... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
u/SmolTaterTot replied 10 hours ago:
DUDE
u/ArrowToTheNiichan replied 11 hours ago:
Does no one actually read the FAQs before they buy one of these things anymore?
u/charzardass replied 11 hours ago:
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO
===
Topic: [Advice] How to beat an Akiha in a one-on-one basketball game?
u/Point_Me_@_The_Sky posted 2 hours ago:
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🍕Headcanons about Steve Raglan/William Afton that in my head make sense —🔪⊹₊ ⋆. ₊˚ .⊹
Hello hello people, I was at school at 6 am, dying of sleep, while some people in the class were recovering from a test (but not me) and so I thought about writing some headcanons that in my opinion would make sense or maybe just in my head. It's those types of thoughts where you think about what the character would be like in a daily domestic routine and such.
Warning: I should have posted this a few days ago but I forgot and I'm posting it now, I'm so forgetful.
•He likes strong coffee or black coffee
It's just a thought that came to me when I was watching that scene with him offering coffee to Mike. There is no information that proves this, it is just my thought because it seems to make sense. I also think he likes whiskey or drinks with a strong taste.
•He likes rabbits
I think this is a little obvious given the Animatronic costume he wears and chooses to wear. I think it makes sense given the idea that he made the animatronic. Some might say he just used the animatronic suit to kill without being seen and have his identity cleared, but like, he could have made the animatronic suit for any other animal, but he did of a yellow rabbit, so to me it kind of makes sense that he likes the animal.
• He called Vanessa his bunny when she was a child
I know he probably didn't even like Vanessa and only raised her out of obligation as a father, but I don't know, it's a cute thought I had, even if it's a little hard to think of him being affectionate with her. Since he practically tried to kill her the first opportunity he had when she refused to kill Mike and shot him.
• He didn’t have a good sleep routine (at least in the timeline where Mike was working at the pizzeria)
I think that after he found out that Mike was the brother of a child he had killed years ago and that his older brother was now after him, it made him a little worried and cautious. Well, he was close to being discovered if Mike managed to discover more of the past, and then I think he watched Mike through cameras at the pizzeria in his own house and sent Vanessa to go watch Mike. And obviously, he would lose a good few hours of sleep with this, since Mike's shift was from 6 in the afternoon until 6 in the morning.
• He divorced his ex-wife
This is because a lot of people have that question of whether he "killed her or divorced her", and I think he just gets divorced and that's it, because otherwise I think Vanessa would tell Mike more just when she reveals to him that Steve Raglan, who was actually William Afton, was her father and the children's killer. I don't think it makes sense for him to have killed her since if that were the case Vanessa would say or she just suffered such a strong trauma with the discovery of her mother's death that she forgot about it, how sometimes the brain has a mechanism to try to forget traumatic memories as a form of self-protection.
• He smokes
I'm not so sure about this one, I saw some art and drawings online of him smoking and in my head it makes sense that he smokes, it's not information about the character, but I don't know, in my head It makes sense that he smokes like those tired fathers and men, I would say he was both types if he wasn't such a horrible father to Vanessa.
• He forced Vanessa to join the police
I thought of this headcanon because I think it would make sense that he forced Vanessa to join the police when she grew up because then he would have connections in the police, which would keep him safe and out of sight to continue committing his crimes without anyone suspecting him. And if they did, he would have his own police daughter to use and keep his record clean. And well, he would have no difficulty in forcing Vanessa to do this and having him protect her from the police, since as we see, Vanessa is very traumatized and is extremely afraid of her father.
Anyway guys, that's what I have for now, I plan to write more in a next post, I'm posting this now because I'm out of ideas and I should have posted this a few days ago, but I forgot.
Thank you for reading, bunny kisses. 💗🐰
#hyperfocus#fnaf fan#fnaf movie#fnaf fandom#FNAF#five nights at freddy's movie#five nights at freddys fandom#five nights at freddy's#the man behind the slaughter#william afton/ steve raglan/ dave miller#william afton#steve raglan fnaf#steve raglan#fnaf#headcanons#fnaf headcanons#william afton headcanon#my headcanons#fandom#favorite character headcanon
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The Mr. Lancer teaches trigonometry fic.
Summary:
Mr. Lancer hated his life as it was and now he had to be a sub for the trigonometry class? Him? An English teacher?
This day couldn’t get any worse. (Or could it?)
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Chapter 1
Word count: 1462 || AO3 LINK
1 | ?
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Sometimes Mr. William Lancer really fucking hated his life.
Okay. Maybe it was a little bit more than just sometimes, he was an underpaid teacher after all. And also a single middle aged man with no children or pets. (Except for the wild animals he unfortunately had to call his students.)
All alone. Lonely on every wednesday afternoon. And thursday. And Friday. And Saturday too. Lonely every day of the week. Quite a sad sight indeed.
Okay his life actually sucked really fucking bad alright.
But the recent events really took the entire cake.
It was a monday when he first received the news of the terrors about to reign on his life. His last class of the day just let out and he was left behind, doing some boring teacher paperwork. Probably giving out a lot of F’s. He had an online friend from a different school that was also a teacher and that guy liked to give out a lot of F’s. He also believed in some fairly odd parents or some shit though.
Anyway, back to OUR favorite teacher, Mr. Lancer. Lonely on a monday afternoon. He was actually supposed to watch over detention, but Daniel McFucking Fenton didn’t bother to show up and he was the only student punished today.
Sometimes Mr. Lancer wondered what happened to that boy, but he always ended up shrugging it off in the end. Two more years and that boy along with the rest of the class will not be his fucking problem anymore.
He will have another enclosure of wild apes to deal with then though.
God how many more years till his retirement? He was quite old god damn it. He deserved it already.
He was brought out of his very angry and incredibly sad thoughts by a knocking on the classroom door. He snapped his head up to look at the offending piece of wood, praying that it wasn’t Daniel McFucking Fenton who decided to show up after all. He wanted to go home earlier.
Instead of his quote on quote favorite student, he saw Mrs. Ishiyama walk in. She had a bunch of papers in her hands.
The principal came to see him, great. That could only mean more work. Just his god damn luck.
Daniel McFucking Fenton would have been so much better to deal with after all.
Still he had to act civil.
‘’Hello Mr. Lancer’’ Ishiyama said as she made her way over to his desk.
‘’Good afternoon.’’ he answered.
‘’I have a favor to ask of you.’’
Oh god jesus fucking christ screw everything fuck his life this is exactly what he expected.
Instead of voicing his displeasure he simply asked ‘’what can I help you with?’’
‘’The ghost of Hipparchus who usually teaches our trig class has had a family emergency and needed to leave for the Ghost Zone.’’ she explained looking through the papers, not even making eye contact with him. Rude. ‘’Can you sub for him tomorrow?’’
Before he could react she pulled out some papers from the ones she held in hand and put it on his desk.
‘’You’re the only teacher who’s schedule aligns perfectly. Here’s the lesson plan. I know you won’t disappoint.’’ she said before quickly leaving, not giving him enough time to protest.
She knew he would protest…
And how could he not? Fucking trigonometry class? He was an English teacher for fuck’s sake!
Maybe he should really submit that resignation paper he wrote out in a moment of weakness (which was like every sunday evening) (yes he wrote a new resignation paper every sunday evening. Don’t judge the man.)
Sighing deeply, he picked up the papers left by Ishiyama. It took only 10 seconds before the contents made him start crying like a little pathetic baby.
Tomorrow was gonna be a fucking disaster.
-
And a disaster it was. Right from the first minutes after he woke up.
Turns out drowning your issues in a bottle of gin on a monday evening was not a good idea. Especially not when one had to wake up at 6 in the morning.
Which by the way he did not do.
No, the gin made him forget to set his alarm. He felt betrayed, when he woke up at 7:30 instead. Panic filled his half awoken brain as he quickly raced out of bed to get ready. School would start in half an hour and the drive there took 31 minutes!
He was out the door after only 25 seconds, which could probably land him a spot somewhere in the Guinness World Records book.
Climbing into the car his bald head hit the roof making his already growing headache even worse. The god awful song that started playing on the radio the moment he turned the vehicle on was doubling the pain even more.
This Mr. Worldwide guy really needed to shut the fuck up for a second.
Quickly switching the radio off Mr. Lancer paused to take a little breather. Alright, he just had to run one (1) light and he could be at school in time for his first class. Which thank god was actually his english class. The mathematical monstrosity of a fucking subject was his third period.
With no further ados, Lancer drove the car out of the parking lot and sped towards the school.
On the drive there he almost got ran over by the Fentons’ ghost vehicle thing with Jack Fenton at the wheel. Probably on a blind chase after a ghost that Phantom would handle before they even got there. A normal Tuesday in Amity Park.
He kinda hoped there would be a ghost attack during his third period today. Maybe the Fentons could even come and wreck the classroom. That would definitely delay the trigonometry class until Hipparchus got back from whatever he was doing in the ghost world.
That deceased man owed him for this.
Finally. At last. His journey ended when he reached the school. He parked his car on his designated spot (thank the lord they had those) and ran into the building. He burst into his classroom right as the bell rang.
Wiping the sweat off of his forehead, he glanced at his students, sitting at their desks and looking at him weirdly.
Kinda rude of them.
‘’Uh… Mr. Lancer.’’ one of his students by the name of Tucker Foley started uncertain. ‘’What are you wearing?’’
He looked down at himself and noted that he forgot to change out of his pajamas. Well that certainly explained how he managed to leave the house in just 25 seconds. No fastest morning routine Guinness Record for him after all. Dang.
‘’Focus on your books instead of my attire, Mr. Foley’’ he responded, voice filled with authority. The teenagers would eat him alive if he showed anything else than confidence in that moment. As they say, keep your head held up high and you won’t see the bottom you hit.
Okay no one says that, but still.
He swiftly turned to the blackboard and decided to go along with his lesson like nothing was wrong. He could get his spare set of clothing from the teacher's lounge later. He kept them there in case Jack Fenton ever showed up to disintegrate his clothes again.
Speaking of the Fentons, right as he finished writing today’s subject on the blackboard, the door to the classroom opened up with a slam and in ran no one other than Mr Daniel McFucking Fenton.
Late again.
Like every Tuesday.
And every other day of the week.
‘’Sorry I’m late Mr. Lancer! There was a very long crack in the sidewalk on the way here and I had to walk very slowly to not step on it and crack my mother’s back-’’ the boy stopped spitting out this nonsense of an excuse when he saw Lancer’s attire. ‘’Uh… did someone crack your back and you couldn’t change out of these clothes or…?’’ he asked after a second of staring.
‘’Very funny Mr. Fenton.’’ Lancer answered, narrowing his eyes. ‘’Maybe I should crack your back, so you can’t escape the detention I’m gonna give you today.’’
‘’It’s not like a cracked back ever stopped me before.’’
‘’What?’’
‘’What.’’
Mr Lancer put two fingers to his temple to ease the ever growing headache. He was too tired for this.
“Go sit down Mr. Fenton. We’ll talk after class.”
The boy begrudgingly dragged his feet towards his seat. Which, now that Lancer paid attention he could see he was favoring dragging the left foot a bit more.
The youth and their fucking TikTok dances. They’re gonna break all their legs one day.
With a sigh the teacher turned back to the board to start on his English lesson.
#this is gonna be 20k words of Mr lancer teaching trig#i never back away from a challenge#also i forgot to post it to tumblr before dhsfihuhsu#kad writes#danny phantom#mr lancer
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Who's ready for an essay?
Grab a cup of tea, sit comfortably and I shall begin.....😂😂
The never ending insulin pump saga continues....
I'm trying different hacks, tweaks and resets to try fix the algorithms. It's been a nightmare trying to get any kind of decent blood sugar "flatline". It seems to have got too high a number that it's trying to keep me at.
A few days ago, I switched it over to "manual mode", which means the background insulin delivery is set by me. Same as the old system I was using.
And mostly, it's been good. Less highs. But a few crashing lows. Like REAL lows. Last night was crazy. It was dangerously low for hours. Made no sense. So I had some supper. I was having a pretty serious hypo.
So that means a digestive rest phase of 12 hours. I don't personally class that as a fast.
And I've switched back to automated mode this morning. That means the pump automatically adjusts my background insulin, according to the information from the CGM. They are linked up.
Oh, and I'm expecting a new homeopathic treatment through the post today. The mucus thing hasn't actually been too bad the last few days. A few glare ups, but nothing terrible. But she wants to try something else, as I'm still not seeing a real difference.
Anyway, on with my day.
A 30 minute walk, then a short home workout. Full body strength.
Breakfast of collagen coffee and nuts, as usual.
In an unrelated topic, I'm actually really busy with my online training work just now. I've signed up three new people since Sunday.
I'm not complaining. Busy is better than bored!
I've done three workouts today.
Starting with that full body one after my walk.
Then I did some lower body.
I once again have to force myself to push away from upper body.
I decided that as I was already halfway through that first workout.
Anyway, I had lunch soon after lower body strength.
Bacon, scrambled egg, cheese, cottage cheese and salad. One of my favourites. But I say that about almost everything 😂
I then had an appointment in town, which meant a short bike ride.
Then an afternoon client session.
Very active day, and much needed!
Yep....an essay. Well, I did warn you 😂.
#fitspo#fitspiration#fitblr#healthy living#fitness#health and fitness#fit#workout#fiton#suzieb-fit#health and nutrition#diet and nutrition#healthy nutrition
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soda tabs
tiktok sucks, but where else can you get useless knowledge about getting a kiss from a drink?
pairing: zoro x sanji / zosan (one piece)
genre: fluff, high school au
warnings: sexual innuendos but nothing explicit
sanji cracked open a cold one, except it was cola and not beer. he popped the can open and pulled out the soda tab, suddenly remembering that one video he saw online about these things having meanings.
looking over to zoro, his lover (ew), who was currently skipping class with him in the school rooftop because they're the cool kids, he decided he'll play this little game that comes with soda tabs.
"hey zoro, i have a gift for you." sanji called out.
turning around to see his boyfriend wearing a huge grin on his face, zoro replied "huh?? what is it??"
"here. it's a soda tab with the ring on it." sanji's grin became even wider, if that was possible
squinting his eyes at the blonde as if confused- and that he was, actually, zoro questioned "the fuck am i supposed to do with this?????"
sanji looked surprised, was he the only weirdo here who knew what these things are supposed to mean? but then he remembered, this cave man doesn't use tiktok- hell, he doesn't even use his phone for anything else other than text sanji stupid shit, "being given a soda tab with the ring on it means you have to kiss the person who gave it to you, dumbass plant."
zoro looked at him with a deadpan expression, "and where the fuck did you get that info from?"
"tiktok.." sanji answered, obviously embarrassed.
"you seriously believe shit that comes from that app?"
"i thought it was sweet, okay! sorry for wanting to act romantic for atleast once!"
zoro chuckled again at the face of his pouty boyfriend, before leaning in to kiss sanji on his lips, the latter's face exploding into the reddest shade of red you've ever seen.
"you could've just asked for a kiss you dumbass, i would've made out with you even but you ruined the mood with you mentioning that godforsaken app." zoro playfully said before tossing the soda tab back at sanji.
"here, you can have it as a souvenir."
while zoro was laughing his ass off, sanji went ahead and kissed him, as payback maybe?
"what the fuck shit cook! i was enjoying a good laugh!" zoro said, now with a red face that could compete against sanji's.
"well, you gave me the soda tab with a ring in it so i have to give you a kiss marimo!" sanji replied, both a blush and a sly smirk displayed on his face.
-
zoro was getting a drink in a vending machine, it was the afternoon and he was walking home with sanji today, as usual.
he opened the can of orange soda and looked at the de-attached soda tab, remembering sanji and his antics earlier on the rooftop.
"this one doesn't have a ring, but it has a circle on it. guess i can't ask the dumbass for another kiss." he said to himself and put the soda tab in his pocket, planning to ask sanji what it means later, if it actually does have some sort of meaning.
-
"i'm back, got an orange soda. oh shit i didn't get you anything, did i? did you want anything?" zoro said after running towards his boyfriend, surprisingly not getting lost for long like usual, and they started walking home together.
"weird to see you concerned about me moss head. well i'm not thirsty anyway. i could also just get water at your place if i do feel like it."
"good point, better not touch my whole stock of beer in the fridge though. reminds me, i got this soda tab, what does this shit mean? if it does have any sort of?" zoro asked as he handed the soda tab from his pocket to sanji.
sanji inspected the tab and felt his breathing stop for a second, he was baffled that zoro, of all people, got this soda tab, not that it's particularly rare but- god, just.. why? this shit's actually getting embarrassing.
"jesus fucking christ, throw it away you local plant life!" sanji yelled, tossing the tab back to zoro's hands, which got him confused and all.
"what? why are you overreacting? the fuck does it mean, curly?"
sanji let out a huge sigh, "it means you have to have sex with the person who gave it to you. it's fucking stupid, just throw it away."
zoro just grinned after hearing his reply and gave the soda tab back to the blonde, "here, you have it then shit cook."
sanji's eyes went wide, he looked so stupid that zoro let out a few laughs because of his dumbfounded reaction.
"i'm just kidding holy shit! it was a joke." he said in between laughs, retracting his hand with the soda tab back.
sanji kicked him for joking like that and calmed himself down after a short while. they started walking again with comfortable silence enveloping them, but sanji's efforts for his blush to go away were tossed to the trash when the moss head spoke again.
"but i mean- both my dad and perona are out tonight. so offer's still on the table, curly."
#zosan#zoro x sanji#zosan fanfic#op zosan#one piece zoro#zosan au#one piece sanji#one piece fanfiction#one piece zosan#one piece#highschool au
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I've been stewing a little over the last few days about the news regarding the Doctor Who airing times and, although there's been a lot of discourse and probably everything has been said already, I just need to get my rant out there anyway.
For the uninitiated or the unsure, the brief rundown is that new episodes will drop online at the same time worldwide before the BBC 1 broadcast. This will be Fridays 7pm US time (EST I think) and Saturdays midnight in the UK. There will also be the usual Saturday evening broadcast on BBC 1, 18 or 19 hours later. Also, the premiere (10th/11th May) will drop the first two episodes of the series at once.
Simultaneous broadcast is pretty cool, and I believe the 60th specials dropped at the same time as the UK evening broadcast, giving an afternoon time for the US. That's great, but it's really messing with me that this new system completely shafts the UK in terms of viewing times. I'm not saying that only the UK has passionate fans, but I am saying that the UK is where Doctor Who is a cultural institution more so than anywhere else in the world, and seeing it prioritise the US is incredibly frustrating.
Moving to the specific fallout, there's the part of me that is upset on my own behalf, as my autistic self is really struggling with the notion that to watch the show ASAP I will now have to do so at midnight (on a Friday night too!). Since I was 9 in 2005, I have only twice gone to bed with a new episode unwatched. Occasionally that has been at stupid times in the early morning because I've been doing things for Saturday night, but generally I have watched the broadcast as much as possible, and often with other people as a community event. As a child it was always with my dad; as an adult it's often with friends!
Ultimately, though, I'll be fine. I'll watch by myself on iplayer at midnight because I am an adult who can make these choices, even if I'm sad that I probably won't get to have the viewing parties I had started to have with friends in recent years. (Though, who knows, we all have weird sleep schedules. Maybe midnight viewing parties are still on the cards.)
However, for all the kids out there I am so incredibly annoyed. I can't imagine if any of the iconic episodes from my childhood had aired the night before and I'd been unable to stay up for them. Blink? The Stolen Earth? Doomsday? I don't wish to overstate the matter, but I truly believe Doctor Who has remained such a cultural institution precisely because of its status as a family show. People are raised on it and then raise their kids on it and so on.
What are kids going to do now? Some might be allowed to stay up for the midnight release, though not many, especially for that double release which will end at like 1:30am. Others might watch it when they get up, but likely without the community aspect of the whole family sitting down for it. Still others might wait for the Saturday evening broadcast, having to dodge spoilers from other kids and adults as they go about whatever Saturday activities they have.
Regarding spoilers, I've seen some snarky comments saying 'just avoid social media lol', but firstly that's quite difficult in this day and age, and secondly it's not just social media. For one, there are all the tabloids that will plaster any new details across the front page, but also I can vividly remember talking about the brand new Doctor Who episodes at school, and how big an aspect that was of the community excitement. My teacher even did an impression of a weeping angel the week Blink aired, moving closer with a scary face when I looked away for a moment. Sure, there won't be school on a Saturday, but plenty of kids will be doing activities with other kids (dance classes, football, drama clubs etc.). What will happen when some kids have been allowed to watch the new episode and others haven't?
It may seem trivial to some, but I don't think it is. Where's the event aspect of it? Where's the community? Sure, I'm biased as an autistic Brit who grew up with the show and doesn't like change, but this new model seems designed to dilute both the excitement and importance of a new Doctor Who episode on a cultural level.
#doctor who#whew it feels good to finally type up all my thoughts and feelings#I've got over some of the initial autism 'oh no friday night midnight on iplayer arrghhhhh that's not how you watch doctor who'#but I'm still feeling a greater frustration with this decision and how much it will alter the culture around doctor who#which is not just contained to hardcore fans#but to more casual fans and most importantly families and kids across the whole country#mine#dw#dwmine#there's also how late I'll be able to stay online having thoughts and buzzing about New Episode#but again#my sleep schedule is fucked anyway so I'm not the one with the biggest problem
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hi yaz 🍊 (<-for u) right now im going through that awkward friendless period of my life and have been for a while. i've been following you for a long time and wondered if you had any words of wisdom for those of us in the thick of it. thank you ❣️
(p.s - from what we see online you've seemed really well lately, and its genuinely very encouraging. thanks 4 spreading the joy)
hi! so sorry for letting this ask sit there for a bit... i wanted to make sure i could answer it thoughtfully! 🌟 i ended up writing more than i expected so i apologize if this comes across as a bit wordy.
first of all, thank you so much! it really means a lot to me to hear this... i am literally just Random Girl Online so i’m truly honored & i think you’re incredibly sweet to say so 😭💝
secondly, i’m sorry you’re feeling this way! it’s a miserable place to be emotionally & difficult to talk about... but i promise promise promise you will not feel this way forever. i was so lonely it hurt for a very long time, i guess if you’ve followed me for a while you probably remember. like it was PAINFUL how unpeopled my life was, and i was really embarrassed by it too because no one else seemed to be going through it quite so badly. but honestly, i think... most people actively are or once were lonelier than they are willing to admit, so it’s not an experience that’s awkward at all, and not something indicative of there being anything wrong with you specifically (which is all too easy a conclusion to come to), and it is definitely, DEFINITELY is not going to be this bad always. there are so many lovely people in this world who are just on the cusp of entering your life without your even realizing it yet... at one point last year i took a second to look around me & it suddenly occurred to me that things had gotten so much better for me in a way i genuinely never imagined during the worst of my loneliness, that completely unexpectedly i had come to know a good number of people i liked and cared about.
mostly all i can encourage you to do is to be around people in whatever way u can even if you don’t currently have a circle of friends to turn to. if your school or a local museum or a similar institution is holding some kind of lecture, attend it even if u don’t know anyone else who’s going! you might strike up a conversation with a stranger u unexpectedly get along with and make plans to get to know each other better, or you might just get to lightly chat with a lot of people who u never see again. both of these things are nice in different ways. if your workplace is holding a little potluck for someone’s birthday, go even if it’s just for the sake of having cake and cooing over photos of your coworker’s new puppy. text friends who live in the area who u haven’t seen in years, spend the afternoon at the park together & see if you want to make room in each other’s lives for these new versions of yourselves you’ve grown into. sign up for art classes where u can struggle through something you’re unfamiliar with alongside others who are struggling through it the same way & bond over this for a few hours each week. be the first person to text in a groupchat of people u only sort of know. tag along to study with someone from your class at the library & see if it becomes a regular thing with other people from the same class. maybe you won’t befriend all the people you go out of your way to interact with, but chances are you can and will befriend a few of them! and even if it doesn’t end up working out, a little camaraderie goes a long way in pulling a person out of the pits of despair.
if literally none of the above is an option for u in any way whatsoever right now, just try your best to keep going anyway. which sounds stupid probably, i’m sorry; i would have been CRAZY irritated if anyone told me this when i was so lonely i could hardly think about anything else. but i read a lot of poetry, i played a lot of video games, i watched a lot of movies, i spent so much time out of doors watching the birds and trees, i talked to my relatives more than ever before, i messaged some mutuals so often they turned into genuine online friendships that meant the world to me then and mean the world to me still. it hurt that i didn’t have people to share any of this with the way i wanted to but i still experienced a lot of really nice moments when i was alone & in some ways i feel more equipped to deal with loneliness after living through so much of it because i know now that i’m capable of enjoying things even in the throes of isolation. resilience isn’t sustainable and i sincerely hope you don’t need to be resilient about this for much longer, but your life is not on hold, and if u just keep going i believe you will still experience lots of meaningful and good things until your social life starts to pick up, at which point u will experience lots of other meaningful and good things!
also i guess i already mentioned this and definitely feel free to ignore this bit if it doesn’t apply to you, but be careful not to fall into the trap of thinking this is somehow your fault or because there is something inherently off-putting about you! this is absolutely not the case… not having enough or even any friends is just something that happens sometimes. it’s a much more common experience than it feels like & there is nothing wrong with you! believing this and giving in to the shame will cause you undue pain and isolate you further when people reach out or enter your life if you feel you aren’t deserving of friendship because whatever shape your insecurities happen to take. so just... try and be kind to yourself. this is something i struggled with a lot & that’s why i bring it up, but again, you can totally disregard it if it doesn’t align with your own experiences.
i guess that’s all for now! i don’t think i’m saying anything new, so i don’t know how helpful any of this was. i mostly just hope it wasn’t pedantic! i was trying to think of things that genuinely worked for me or things i would like to tell me of a couple years ago if i could speak to her somehow, and i ended up writing a lot because this is a topic that means a lot to me. basically i just mean to say u will be okay! with time and effort and a little bit of luck you will be okay & you will find yourself surrounded by the nicest friends and acquaintances who genuinely really like you and who you genuinely really like in return. loneliness is just something that comes and goes... sometimes it is a little harder and more painful to get through than other times but it never lasts forever. i hope you take care of yourself & i hope it all starts to work out really well, really soon ❣️ love u
#oh it also occurs to me that i have a lot of readings about this sort of thing by people a lot more eloquent than me...#so let me know if you’d like me to compile those or anything like that!#asks
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i’ve turned my life completely upside down in the last week and a half. actually it is now the correct side up. if i thought things were fine before, they’re a gajillion times better now. i cannot stress the importance of what i’m about to say: i started taking care of my physical health. i can hardly believe the words as i type them out. not weight loss, or an aesthetic glow up, like my actual health, my insides, my bones, my muscles, my organs, the machine that actually keeps me running. had to spend a buttload of money at the gp and pathology and chemist tho. but it’s a necessary expenditure. i will come clean about one thing though, that that reason behind all of this, the catalyst, the final push wasn’t just my rock bottom, i actually, how do i say this, i’m not one to struggle with words, at least not when discussing my feelings. i have started to have feelings for someone. and this is entirely one sided, not that that’s a problem with me, in fact, it’s kind of a preference. i dont know a love more pure than the unrequited kind. that is not to say that i didn’t break down and cry about it more than a few times. anyway, so i’m taking all my potions and applying all my concoctions, and my health was so bad, that i’m already seeing huge improvements, after just one week of care. i’m inspired to be better. i’m inspired to have the life, happiness and health i wish for the ones i love.
i’m so hopeful that even jinxing doesn’t scare me. bring it on you evil planets. i picked myself up from rock bottom. i have intentionally found the good in the most horrible things. i am deserving of the happiness that comes my way.
i did overeat a little today and last night, a little bit stress eating, and a little bit extra hungry. and so i will go on a walk today inshaallah.
i’ve had a bit of creative energy lately, and i’m putting it to good use. sketching out a fashion collection, and i’m really liking the ideas and how they’re coming together so far. someday things are going to fall into the place i’m pushing them into. and i am most hopeful.
today was supposed to be my first day back in uni, but i am sick and coughing every 10 seconds, so i emailed the lecturer letting her know ill be joining the online repeat class this evening, instead of the on campus class this afternoon. missed out free gelato at uni today, they had some amazing flavours, but i’m sick anyway. so i couldn’t have had it.
someone’s gonna love me someday, when i am not so difficult to love. when i am ready to accept it. that someone might be me. a person i met recently told me to date myself, with intention and mindfulness. and that rlly stuck, because yes. also i’m happy that therapy has started again. since two days ago.
i’m drinking tea. i bought a pot to dedicate solely to tea making. and it’s been such a good little treat. i’m putting condensed milk in it, because i am not afraid of sugar. i’m going to build and rebuild my life. and things are going to be just fine. i’m going to be just fine.
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(( Just a lil heads up!!!!
Due to being double busy with preparing and applying exams for the classes I teach this upcoming week (starting from tomorrow's class) AND working on a bigger commission to make a birthday card with 4 illustrations + the whole Graphic Design part of the thing, I need to take a break from internet stuff. You might have noticed the pups haven't replied asks in a day or two already.
I'll keep the askbox open for the weekend until Monday late morning as usual, but there won't be activity around here in this blog until I can breathe again. Last exam will be Wednesday afternoon, after that I still need to grade them in the course website and have a regular class on the Thursday. After that, I'll be back - and then I'll also finally get back to work on the Giveaway artworks too! I've started one of them but, as you can guess, it's paused now as well.
Anyway, it's just that. No activity for a week from now, probably; Ryder's blog has been paused for a while now too but I'll get back there as soon as I can as well. In the meantime, I'll be online as usual on my other blog, sometimes reblogging stuff. Well, see ya, take care, hydrate yourselves, I'll miss you all but I gotta do this 😭 ))
#(( Being a teacher is hard and the kids are screamers ))#(( I wish every 10yo would be like Ryder lmao I cry ))#(( When the pups sleep the mod takes over ))
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