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atypicalacademic · 4 years ago

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Spots

(A/N: Finally got this one done- Sequel to this piece, because I love.)

Words: 2.8k

Warnings: Mentions of blood, violence, and some manipulation/abuse themes from Syb’s past though all of it’s only mentioned vaguely.

Sybilla Livsdottir x Amalia Sydgården from @greyvvardenfell

They, both of them, are no strangers to ghosts of the past.

“We could just go home, darling,” Sybilla pressed a kiss to the top of Amalia’s head, and held her closer, careful not to wrinkle the band of white silk roses around her waist.

Still clinging to Sybilla for dear life as she’d been all evening, Amalia shook her head stubbornly. “He can’t drive me away from my party.”

Sybilla held her tongue, knowing that reminding Mali that it was not, in fact, her party was not bound to go well.

Or, well. It might as well have been. Sybilla wouldn’t have come here at all, to this distinctly uninteresting guest list and distinctly ridiculous schmoozing made only slightly more tolerable by Lucio’s hosting skills and having Amalia on her arm, hadn’t the latter been so understandably terrified by what tonight meant.

Perhaps it was her party, then. At least as far as Sybilla was concerned. She wasn’t here for anyone else.

Before she could open her mouth to tell her just that, there was a rustle of silk from behind them, and as if on instinct, Amalia folded to her side, nails digging so hard into Sybilla’s sleeve that she winced.

“Come on now, little sister.” The voice was flat, stretched out into a drawl that instantly made Sybilla’s hackles rise. “Is that any way to greet your king?”

Sybilla hardly needed to feel Amalia trembling against her, struggling to find the words, when she turned around, full force, summoning a silent enchantment to keep Amalia even further out of harm’s way, and faced him.

With some satisfaction, she watched the switch flip.

Owyn Sydgarden was- shiny. Shiny in a way that was more greasy than brassy, with neither Lucio’s charisma or Mali’s charm- his doublet and coronet and the many rings glittering on his fingers couldn’t make up for the strange staleness of his pallid face.

At the sight of Sybilla, the bluster in his wide grin fell away to shock, and even through the generous coating of rouge on his cheeks, she could catch how he paled even more. Bristling in his doublet, his jaw dropped, and instinctively, he took a step back.

Owyn gaped at her for a few moments more, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, and then he tried to collect himself, gathering his furs and about him.

Like that would help. “You.”

Sybilla raised an eyebrow, painted as black as the freckles on her pale skin. “Yeah.” She folded her arms, tilting her head to look at him from beneath her befeathered hat. “Me.”

“If you’re attempting something, Amalia, in the company of this-“ he narrowed his eyes- “this blood witch-“

Oh.

A favorable illusion.

It had been a while since she spoke Naigen, and when she did, it was still sharpened by the accent from her own native language. And just as well.

“Sangromancer.” Sybilla corrected him, taking another step closer to see him inch back. “Let’s be nice to each other, why don’t we, hm?”

“I’m warning you, if this is how you’re planning to take me down-“

Sybilla laughed, in the cutting way she’d practiced to perfection. “Take you down?” She scoffed. “Regicide is your glass of wine, isn’t it, Owyn?”

Owyn’s face flushed, and he broke out in sweat, flashing blue eyes darting from side to side as though looking for an exit.

“You’re familiar with my methods, aren’t you?” Sybilla took the time to pick up another glass of champagne, take a slow sip with her eyes still trained on him. “By the look on your face, I can tell you know that it’d be wise not to test me.”

“You can’t-“

“Alright-“ She drained the glass. “Let’s talk about more pleasant things. Two children wasn’t it? Oh, three.”

His eyes widened in horror, and he recoiled.

Sybilla smiled. “And the youngest only a child.” She let go of Amalia to circle him, tapping her gloved fingers thoughtfully to her cheek. “We do a lot to protect our children, don’t we? What’s a king without his heirs?”

“I will-” He sputtered. “I will have you-”

“Have me what?” She dropped the smile, close enough now that her face was inches from his. “Have me what, my lord? On what territory? At what cost?”

He swallowed.

“I expected you to think twice, you know,” She plucked companionably at the furs on his cape. “You and I both know what happens when you piss off someone who’s got not much to lose.”

Trailing her fingers down his arm, she snatched his glass away from him, flung it to the trash, champagne splashing against the white of his furs. “Be a good boy, leave her alone, and go home, and you won’t get back to anything unpleasant.”

Owyn puffed himself up, as though he was about to retort, held his breath. Sybilla stared him down, coolly.

Without another word, he attempted another half-hearted glower at Mali, and turned around, flagging a server down for a glass of wine.

“I wouldn’t, if I were you,” Sybilla called out, as he retreated. “Party like this, anything could’ve slipped into one of those glasses, you know.”

He froze, and slammed it down on a table, and stormed off without a backward glance, his silks and furs trailing after him.

Amalia sank into her arms, just in time for Sybilla to hold her up. “Did you really-” Her eyes were wide, flashing emerald, her hair swept over her face in a frenzy. “Sybbie, have you really-”

Sybilla shook her head, pulling her aside, away from prying eyes. “Of course not.”

“But-”

“Mali, I can’t. I can’t jeopardize Vesuvia, jeopardize you like that.”

“But I-”

“He knows me, Mali.” She said quietly. “He's coming nowhere near you.”

For a moment, Amalia looked as though she was about to argue, the stubborn frown holding on her face before it fell away, and she fell back against Sybilla’s suit jacket, sniffing weakly.

Sybilla gently brushed back her snow-pale hair, straightening the tiara that was threatening to fall off her head, and Amalia caught her breath, pulled back with another pinched frown. “Ugh, why are we still here?” She glared at the towers of food and cocktails, at the live band plucking up an amicable waltz, like they had all mortally offended her. “You’re supposed to be taking me home.”

She didn’t ask, not until later, when she was cocooned in several layers of perfumed fur blankets in Sybilla’s Heart District suite, the smooth ivory of her hairbrush reflecting the amber of the soft lamplight.

“Why’d he call you that?”

Sybilla startled, her hands twitching around the buttons to her sleep-shirt. “Call me what?”

“Blood-witch.” Amalia watched her, meeting her eyes in the mirror, emerald to pale green. “That’s one I haven’t heard before.”

“Haven’t you?” Sybilla frowned. “I’d have thought-” She caught herself. Maybe she’d been too young for those secrets- even as heir to the throne. There was no point dredging it up.

No point denying it, either.

“I used to practice sangromancy, when I was younger.” She rolled her eyes. “Blood-magic, as they call it.”

“Crass.”

“Mm, very.” She walked over to sit at the edge of the bed. “The reputation makes for good use, though, doesn’t it?”

Amalia ignored it. “And you don’t do it anymore?”

“No.”

Sulking, Mali combed through her silky hair, twirling the ends around her fingers. “Why?”

Sybilla grinned. “Thought you said it was crass.”

“I asked you a question.” She set the brush down, and scooted closer to Sybilla, long nails scratching insistently at her sleeve. “Why? He sounded so scared of it, that-”

“Mali.” Sybilla sat up. “I can’t.” She sighed. “I don’t need it to protect you, and I don’t need it to have your half-brother vanish from the face of this earth if he ever gives me the excuse of doing one thing out of line, and frankly,” She paused, catching the edge in her voice to soften it, “the damn thing’s not worth the price it asks of me.”

Amalia searched her face for a long moment. “What price?”

There was noone else in this world who could corner her so and get away with it. Or demand answers of her and get to walk away with them. Sybilla wondered if she were really softening with age.

Or if the burden of her secrets had always been so- crowding like liquid against glass, waiting for a force sharp enough to shatter it, for someone who could take them without flinching away from her.

With another sigh, she stretched back against the headboard, running her hand through the blue streaks in her straight silver hair. Then, slowly, she took off her gloves- changed to softer ones for the night.

Mali had seen them before, but never like this- up close, beneath the chandelier’s light with nothing else to focus on.

The scars ran from her fingertips, all the way up to a few inches beneath her elbow, where the thick lines of her sleeve tattoos ended. Scratches and slashes and gruesome curves of broken, calloused skin seamed to one scar tissue- there wasn’t an inch of skin there that hadn’t been maimed.

Amalia wrinkled her nose.

“Oh, for fucks sake-” Sybilla tutted, and pressed a finger against a droplet of blood that had begun to run down to her wrist. With a flash of light, the opening wound healed shut. “Never quite heals.” She murmured. “I’m still trying to figure out-” Her eyes drifted up to Amalia’s.

She huffed. “That’s not an answer.”

“I- you’re right. It isn’t.” Sybilla pulled the gloves back on, and looked away, feline eyes seeing past the Vesuvian night and clouded with somewhere else. “I was born with an affinity to sangromancy. Most of us have a few things that come easier, a few things that never will, but- growing up, at least, that was mine.” She got up off the bed, reaching for the crystal carafe on the nightstand to pour herself a glass of whiskey.

“There’s no such thing- as good magic and bad,” She glanced pointedly back at Amalia, who was lying on her stomach, chin cradled in her palm. “Every magician who’s worth their practice can tell you that. There’s a lot of power in sangromancy, and a lot of dignity and restraint that goes into learning how to wield it right, but I-” She winced. “After I left-” She tripped over the word, wondering if she would ever find the words to tell that story. Never, likely. Hopefully.“Left the place I was born, I fell in with, well. People who knew that- that I didn’t know that.” She took a warming gulp of the whiskey, poured some more.

“I had raw power- that I didn’t know what to do with; A lot of it, mind you- I was young, I was eager to learn-” She trailed away, her eyes hardening at the memory. “And more importantly for them- I was hungry, and desperate. They took me in, those magicians, and for a while it felt like they treated me well.”

She was surprised at how easily the words came, one and then another, as though they’d always been stacked against each other, leaving the gaps cleanly where she wanted them to. They treated me well.

Or so it seemed. Sometimes.

The South was a desperate place- even across the sea- petty kingdoms and small duchies- with their smaller, pettier, dirtier grudges; a greed born only in that desperation, in that smallness. She wondered if Amalia knew this, already. Her own kingdom had been a different story, until it wasn’t.

“Sovereigns take to magicians. You know this.”

Amalia nodded.

“There’s always someone in Court, a faction of it, if we’re lucky, whispering in their ear about what sangromancers can do to their enemies.” Sybilla chuckled. “And most magicians know this, mind you- they know what to ask for- where to draw the line.” She shrugged. “Many of them stand for no dealings with sovereigns. The people I was with, they drew their lines. For themselves.”

“But not for you.” Amalia guessed.

“Not for me. It’s lucrative, you know.” She said bitterly, sinking down to the fainting couch beside the window, crossing her legs. “Pick a hungry kid off the snow who’s scared enough of what she’s running from to trust you- tell her she’s special, tell her you’ve got her, tell her she’s invincible, send her out to do the dirty work you know it costs you too dearly to do.” She raised an eyebrow. “Almost smart, don’t you think?”

She didn’t wait for an answer, and Amalia gave her none. “What work?” She asked, instead, picking up an apple from the basket on the nightstand. “Did you kill people?”

Sybilla had to laugh. “I can still kill people, darling.” She poured herself another drink. “Curses.” She said, waiting till her glass was half empty. “Death, disease, famine-” she counted them off her fingertips, “War, well- you get the drift.”

Amalia’s silence told her that she did.

“I didn’t just kill people- for those who could afford me, I could bring dynasties to dust.” Leaning against the arm of the couch, she pulled the curtains shut. She cut a sharp figure in the chandelier’s light, her shadow black against the walls. “For a while, I didn’t know the extent of what I did, nor the effect I had. They liked to downplay that too. For a while.”

“And then?”

“But then I did, and, well- I found I didn’t particularly care, either. I was making money, I could afford things. And people were scared of me. I enjoyed it, even. I thought my life was picking up. And every time I had my doubts- ”

They treated me well.

Except when they didn’t.

“They were there to-” She clenched her fists, let go- “To clear them up. I would’ve done it forever, you know, if I hadn’t figured out what it took from me.”

“What did it take from you?” Amalia bit into the apple.

Sybilla let out a breath. “My- soul? My humanity? Me?” She bit her lip. “These scars come from somewhere deeper than my flesh and blood.” She looked down at her gloved hands, turning them over, and clasped them on her lap. “I don’t know how to explain it, Mali, except that you can only draw demons from the deep woods so many times before you begin to become one of them.”

Mali recoiled. “Become a-”

“Crass.” Sybilla reminded her, dryly. She got to her feet, treading over to sit back down beside her. “Now if I turned into something-” Her toes curled, nearly cracking with the force of the monster, monster, monster she’d always lived with trying to repel. Instead, she buried her fingers in Amalia’s hair- the honeydew and orchids of her shampoo sweetening the fabric of her gloves. “Something else- how could I give you everything you want, hm?” She tried to smile. “Wouldn’t that be a shame?”

“Fair.” Amalia said easily, tossing her hair back over her shoulders. “And so you stopped?”

Sybilla nodded, not wanting to dwell on that, either- the long days and the longer nights and the bloody footprints against the snow, the endless, humiliating agony of it all that would rob her of sleep for years to come.

That still did.

And so I stopped.

It was all she was willing to tell.

“But Sybbie,” Amalia dropped the apple, and sat up, her hand hovering over Sybilla’s shoulder. “What happened to those magicians?”

Sybilla raised an eyebrow, an easier smile tugging at her lips. “Dead.” She said simply. “All of them.”

Amalia’s eyes glittered, her smile glittered, brightening with interest. All at once, Sybilla understood Lucio’s propensity to flaunt and embellish as shamelessly as he did.

“There’s very little that’s beyond me.” She whispered, wanting to soak it in. “Not in the least for you. Leopards don’t change their spots, my dewdrop.”

“I see,” Amalia climbed on to her lap, one hand tightening possessively in Sybilla’s hair, and the other tracing over her freckles. “You’ve still got the spots.”

Sybilla wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer. She laughed, and laughed again. “None of this bothers you, does it?”

Amalia snorted. “Why would I give a fuck?” She tilted her head, the look in her eyes somewhere between bored and unbothered. “You’d never hurt me.”

Sybilla felt a wave of something crash into her chest, and she swept Mali into her arms, laying her down on the bed. “I would never.” The sincerity in her voice felt odd, alien to herself, but it came of its own accord, much like the sudden tightness in her throat, the embarrassing sting of tears at the corner of her eyes. “Mali, I would never hurt you. Not you.”

“I know.” Mali’s fingers followed the tattoo lines over Sybilla’s collarbones, her lips lifted into a triumphant little smirk.

Sybilla waited for the flooding emotion to draw away, and then she smiled back, anchoring her weight to hover over her. “Unless, you know, you ask me to.”

Mali scoffed, rolling away from under her. “Keep dreaming.” She flung a pillow at Sybilla, who caught it with a wink. “I will, your highness.”

#the arcana #sybilla livsdottir #amalia sydgarden #i owe mali a treat for giving me So Much Syb writing juice #hey do you know that sybilla was like the four horsemen of the apocalypse at once #until she Calmed Down #also thats the reason she took Haider under her wing you know #she didnt want him to fall into the wrong hands #anyway #i am once again Doing This #because i was reading an essay and syb Demanded that i take her to Sugar Baby #also this gives me an excellent platform to reveal a little of That Backstory #thank you rey i love u as always #also did you know that syb is practically covered with tattoos #and stay tuned for some syb/shaan content coming soon over the weekend 👀👀👀👀

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 5 years ago

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⭐

this short about moonshine and radio shows, mostly. as i was writing it i was like “dialogue heavy epistolary is like syb bait” and i was RIGHT. it also made me wanna try to make mead real bad. all i want is a stable little apartment for more than a few months so i can finally have all my books in one place and a cat and try sourdough and mead and have a tiny herb garden please and thank you

i lived out of my suitcase for most of last year and i still haven’t recovered apparently. anyway,

there is really an astonishing amount of garbage you can pick up in these games and break down and turn into other things??? i did not expect there to be a dozen distinct bottle types when i sat down and looked.

i have some Thoughts and Opinions about the national NPR shows but the regional ones tend to be better. i know the sheer cost/backend shit or whatever of having a talk show radio in a video game is ridiculous and that’s why we don’t have any, but radio is a really common and simple form of communication! i imagine there are a limited number of ham radio sets/ability to actually call in to a radio show, but fuck, crystal radios are dead easy to make with all the technological dreck lying about. not quite as easy to physically put together if you’re using a chunk of something you picked up off the ground, and catswhisker sets are awful to tune, but let’s assume given the number of radios you the player find lying about they’re pretty plentiful/how most people get news and entertainment.

i still think Cass looking at the boys (tm) (c) (r) and going “oh yeah those ones. respectable.” is very funny

#answered #ty!!!#ain't that a kick in the head #shiny-good-rock

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chanelpirate · 5 years ago

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Check up Tag Game

I was tagged by @sybilius—thank you <3

How has your day been?

Let’s see. Loamy. Yes, loamy is a good word. A lot of sunshine, a lot of physical activity, a lot of writing, a lot of reading. Drifting between Kathy Acker, William S. Burroughs, and Eileen Myles. A bit of an East Village tone, today.

What was the last thing that made you smile?

Saw an enormous pigeon outside.

This from Acker, 1981: “Since American consumers now own every object there is plus they don’t have any money anyway cause they’re being squeezed between inflation and depression, just like fucking, these businessmen have to discover products that obvious necessity sells. Sex is such a product.”

What’s keeping you entertained these days?

I can’t stop thinking about this scene:

Polonius: What do you read, my lord?

Hamlet: Words, words words.

Polonius: What is the matter, my lord?

Hamlet: Between who?

Polonius: I mean, the matter that you read, my lord.

Hamlet: Slanders, sir [...]

Polonius: Though this be madness, yet there is method / in’t. Will you walk out of the air, my lord?

Hamlet: Into the grave.

[...]

Polonius: I will most humbly take my leave of you.

Hamlet: You cannot, sir, take from me any thing that I will / more willingly part withal: except my life, except / my life, except my life.

&c. Hamlet II.ii

The power of this. The cattiness. The isolation mood. (”Denmark’s a prison”)

If you are in some kind of quarantine/self isolation, is there anything you’d like to achieve in this time? are there any goals that are helping keep you structured and grounded in this time?

Keeping syb’s amendment here, because, yes. The flurry of online activity I see down my end is desperate: one must write The Great Lockdown Novel! Write the next big Netflix sensation! Get into the best shape of your life with this! Record the next, etc. Take it easy. Your only job right now is to keep your meat sack alive through the other side of this. It’s a global pandemic, not a fucking writing retreat.

That said, I’m using this time to explore tendencies my work, and try to develop approaches I can take forward in my practice. The old gun to the head: what would I create today if there was no tomorrow? If the worst were to happen? What do I want to do? I’m being kind to myself.

Tagging: I’m never any good at tagging. Go ahead and do this if you’d like to x

#asks #sybilius

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treason-and-plot · 6 years ago

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List 5 facts about your most favorite sim of yours and send this to 10 simblrs whose sims you adore ♥♥♥

Thank you, dear Ivory! I will choose Saffron.

1) Saffron wants to study law when she goes to Uni, which will probably be next year.

2) She is pretty much over her crush on Edward Aitken, although she still surreptitiously checks the gig guide every week to see if his band is playing. But she isn’t into his style of punked -up grunge music anymore either; these days her tastes are a lot more sophisticated.

3) She pretends to everyone that she is too involved in her studies to have time for a love interest.

4) She loves reading and writing poetry, though she has never shown her poetry to anyone except Sybilla, and one of her teachers.

5) She is very particular about her clothes and make up, and likes her outfits to be coordinated. Not matchy-matchy as Sybilla used to constantly tease her. What would a tragic tryhard baby goth like Syb know about fashion, anyway?

#applekissims #saffron #edward #character development

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stratosphcre-blog · 6 years ago

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By God was it a struggle trying to decide between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor. I went with the second option because red hair. Daehyun gives me enough angst, so Jaegeun is here to counteract all that salt with his sugary self ! A brand new muse, so I’m still working out the kinks but ??? He’s inspired by Sybill Trelawney, , Xenophilius Lovegood & Rita Skeeter. Mainly good ol’ Syb and Rita. This is why I came so close to putting him in Ravenclaw ??? But I felt like he’d end up turning into such a snake ??? Let me stop. So, I’ve written some info on him down below and so smash that HEART ( ♡ ) if you’d like to plot !!!

☆ﾟ*・ﾟHEY! did JUNG HOSEOK just fall off HIS broomstick?! oh wait, never mind. it’s just JAEGEUN “JASON” SONG… to think i nearly broke a sweat over the 20 year old EIGHTH year GRYFFINDOR. i hear the MALE is quite AFFECTIONATE and ENTHUSIASTIC , but also FOOLHARDY and IMPRESSIONABLE . well, i hope their broom doesn’t throw them off the second time. ( effy, cst, she/her, 23 )

BACKSTORY

A pureblood wizard who was raised by two parents who were absolutely astonished by any and all things muggle-related. Needless to say, he was raised by very open parents who could not care less about the blood status and raised him to not judge others by it either. He’s a really good son and person so, of course, he listened intently and really just loves everyone.

Knows a lot about muggle technology because his father brought things home and he was raised in a muggle neighborhoods; his dad really was that shook and amazed by vacuums and bicycles. His mom was less taken by muggle things, but only because using magic is so much easier? Other than that, very delighted. She’s just not going to use a vacuum. And the last time she cooked without magic? Everyone complained so she’s not doing that again either.

Jaegeun has a little sister who is a sixth or seventh year, hmu if you want to fill that connection ???

He’s moved around a couple of times, but his family has always stayed located in Scotland. He belongs to one of those families that likes to move around, which is fine because they are witches and wizards and getting around is quick and easy.

Has attended Hogwarts from his first year and onward. Was sorted into Gryffindor, but the Sorting Hat thought about making him a Hufflepuff.

Was picked on because he dressed weird. Like, really weird. People said mean things about his clothes, but this boy? Probably thought they were compliments and thanked his bullies.

Also believes in a lot of conspiracies and probably thinks some of his friends are part veela/vampire or a werewolf. Often gets in debates with ghosts over stupid things, but it’s whatever. Stupidly brave, wants to meet a giant and thinks merpeople are swell and would like to go swimming them. He can’t even swim.

If he’s dared, he’ll take it and won’t back down.

Loves quidditch. So much. Which is why he joined the team and why he cries when his team loses.

HE HAS A TOAD NAMED DOT. Don’t insult her, he gets super sad when people think toads are lame and cats and owls are better. He really likes his toad and has pride when he shows her off.

Actually a stickler for rules, but easily swayed to break them. “I don’t know if we should be doing this D:” whilst following along anyway. Like, HE’S A GOOD BOY. But he’s excitable and curious and doesn’t like being left out so he kinda has to follow.

People think he’s a dumbass but he’s not. He pulls in really good grades and is only doing poor in a few classes. Unfortunately, he’s not a genius and actually does have to study hard. But he’s okay with that !!!

Okay, but on the real ? Divination is his class. He thinks he’s a Seer ( might be, who knows ) and is probably most famous and popular for his tarot card readings. He’s kind of a go-to when someone’s having relationship problems, but honestly ??? He’s not always right ??? So be CAREFUL. Big into astrology and horoscopes as well, it’s his thing.

. . . Writes for the school newspaper and please if you have an important secret say “off the record” otherwise he thinks it’s free game and will probably right about it. Without meaning to, he causes a lot of drama. Luckily, most people think he’s weird and dumb and don’t bother to read his sections. It makes him sad !!!

PERSONALITY

An absolute sweetheart. Smiles & laughter & and non-stop talking. Like, this boy can and will talk your ears off if allowed. He cares a lot about others and is a mom-friend who will fuss over others wellbeing and worries a lot. A real bro, will totally take a bullet for a friend.

LOVES PEOPLE. But he’s not a pushover, he’s a Gryffindor for a reason. Buck up to him, try to intimidate him ??? Half the time he’s probably not even aware, too busy looking for snufakisses. The other half ??? He’ll square up. He’ll try to talk the situation down, but he’s not going to just sit there and take it. DON’T BULLY HIS FRIENDS. Will get dirt on your ass and expose you.

ACCIDENTALLY STARTS RUMORS. Swear he doesn’t mean to, but he’s a blabbermouth and he ... kind of really wants to write juicy shit. And if you’re not is friend, he doesn’t see a problem with putting it in papers. Unfortunately, a gossiper. Careful with his close friends, but people are able to coax it out of him. He knows a lot, it’s his job as a “journalist”, so he probably has dirt on a lot of people.

You want that dirt? Get him drunk. Can’t shut up. Knows he should, but just can’t.

BUT HE’S A GOOD FRIEND. Like, he wouldn’t reveal something huge or anything someone is confiding in him. He’s not horrible, it’s just those tiny, juicy tidbits of who can’t stand who or who was making out with who in this or that empty classroom. IT’S EXCITING.

Has a hard time telling people no. Like, if someone asks him out and he doesn’t like them that way ??? He’s going out with them just so he doesn’t hurt their feelings. Probably hurts them in the long run, but he doesn’t want to hurt friends. :c

Ridiculously complimentary and affectionate. Is he flirting? Probably not, he’s just gonna tell you if he thinks you look cute. He’s being nice, but he’s accidentally lead people on before and he feels bad for that, r i p.

CONNECTIONS ???

HIS LITTLE SISTER. That’s a wanted connection.

Friends??? Doesn’t matter the house, if he gets along with you he’s happy!

Exes? Those he dated because he felt bad, those he actually liked ??? Honestly, he has a hard time committing because he’s kind of superficial and it ain’t that deep. So he’s dated a lot, but probably ended with, uh, “we’re better off as friends.” BUT WHEN HE’S IN DEEP, HE’S IN DEEP AND HIS HEART BREAKS. Like, he cries but he hates losing people so if they want to stay friends, he’ll suffer inwardly and be their friend still. Hurts to see them happy with someone else, though. :c

ENEMIES. He’s spread gossip and they’re upset over it ??? They bully him but he doesn’t really get it, still he can tell they’re not nice so he’s just :/ ??? Someone he actually wants to fight how did this happen who knows but it did ???

CRUSHES. Like I said, he’s superficial so he gets crushes easily. Or those crushing on him ??? Bless their souls, he’s clueless and won’t know unless it’s spelled out for him. “JAEGEUN, I LIKE YOU!!!” “Oh my God, I like you too! You’re such a good friend! :D” An intellectual dumbass. Is he getting gifts from someone? “Wow, they’re so nice! This is unexpected and out of the blue! :D

d o n ‘ t flirt with him. he does not get it, will not get it. will just be like, “wow! you think my eyes are nice? that’s so thoughtful to say! :D” “wow! you’re the only ten i see? that’s a great pun! :D”

SQUAD !!! people he’s really close to ???

Halloween Event buddies he’s got nothing going on, so if someone needs a costume buddy let me know he’ll dress as something cool, sexy or dumb as fuck.

#ccrintro #daehyun is mean so i wanted to play someone nice as well #to balance it out #anyone ever watch khr he's takeshi yamamoto tbh #a q t #asdfghjkl #this is not proof-read adkfalks

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eusuchia · 3 years ago

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@sybilius tagged just to be nice, thank you syb

Favourite color: just to be an art guy about it, colours are only really interesting in combinations. it's about contrast! that being said, sage green.

Currently reading: The Grapes of Wrath. I definitely wouldn’t have appreciated it in high school, especially all the stuff in it that is about like, social determinants of ecology. also marxism

Last song: karaoke by ginger root

Last series: we’ve been watching this docuseries of Spanish 'Lost Trades' on youtube by Eugenio Monesma. I'm using it as 'research' for my post-canon narn town story, lmao. I'm imagining narns still doing a lot of handicrafts esp in the countryside. I'm looking to write a story kind of about industrialization and alienation (lol) among other things. anyway watch the series if you want to see an enormous assortment of kinds of Guys who make things

Sweet, savory, spicy: in that order yeah.

Currently working on: BREAKWATER chapter 50. man what the fuck

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allegedlyfranzferdinand · 3 years ago

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10, 14 for the asks!

10: what word do you keep using like it's going out of style?

Oh God there's a bunch. I say "rather" and "quite" too much instead of actually giving sentences archaic constructions when I'm trying to give that impression. Ditto with "almost".

14: what trope would you refuse to write even if you were paid to do it?

I really don't get fake dating => real dating. I really don't. arranged marriages or marriages of convenience are one thing, but fake dating always seemed really contrived and, frankly, like a not-very-romantic situation. I don't think I'd be any good at writing it anyway, since I don't get the appeal.

Thank you for the ask syb, you're the best!!!

#friend <3 #love to see us drifting in opposite directions hyperfixations-wise #im learning so much about wrestling #sybilius #ask

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firyalsabhilla · 3 years ago

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as a comeback, i just wanna say something i would never say to anyone. anyone.

I start to lost a lot of words; i start to have a hard time to talk, to say, to express what i feel.

I don’t wanna say, ‘oh trauma!’ pft, no, i know, it sounds too much for a person like me, who used to live in such a perfect life, to have such a trauma that kinda stop my brain to function as good as how it used too.

i start felt numb, since my last break up.

i dont wanna say i was traumatized, but let say, i have a bad experience and i just don’t wanna feel the same type of thing again, so i run, as far as possible, from everything that i think may give me the same effect, the same feeling to feel one day.

i am having a hard time to handle and control myself. My anger issue is sometime near to a warning, to the point where i fantasize myself hurting someone, murder someone, and how i release my anger by imagining the courage i never have to hurt someone without feeling guilty, to see someone mad, angry, bloody in front of me, by seeing them scared, desperate, and how i just will keep my poker face just to annoy them.

i act like a cold serial killer, where i hide behind the image people see me as so far, and once they do one thing to trigger me; welcome to your grave yard sweet heart.

but you know me, i am weak as hell, mentally and physically. i can’t punch someone, i even have a hard time to open a new bottle’s lid, how will i murder someone? i will end up be the one under the pilled soil--and well, im not mad for that, i lowkey want it but just dont make me suffer too much, thanks.

anyway.

since you know imma weak and all violence is only happening in my brain, instead of act like a cool baddie slay everyone’s head in front of your way up, i just end up crying like a baby to release how desperate i am to run from the fear that come out of nowhere.

dad is gone.

it gets worst when i can no longer see my late dad.

and all the problem that coming afterwards, sadly, i can’t tell anyone what happened, even i really want to tell what happened.

every time i go outside, i can’t handle myself to remember all the guilt and regret, the fear, it was so stressful.

every time i walk myself out, i cried for no reason and it hurts my head so much. well, i can’t just scream my lungs out and cry when i am outside, people will question my sanity right away, so i tend to hold it but sometimes it just unbearable.

i locked myself in my room, i cut ties with my beloved friends, realizing how toxic i become, how i no longer can use my logic to thing straight and right, how i was such an attention whore, how i just find it so tiring to pretend like you are okay--to laugh out your sadness, to say, ‘its hillarious that this happen to me haha, no, do not feel bad about it.’ Well, yea, do not feel bad about iit, please don’t. this problem is just me and i have to handle it.

it just so .. exhausting.

i don’t actually know what i am writing now.

but all i feel, i just feel so drained.

i feel comfort when i am alone. i once stopped seeing people for a week and damn it felt so good, it just you and you, you don’t have to deal with anyone, you don’t have to thing about anything, it just you. to finally know how it feels like to be a priority is just so good and i don’t wanna leave the feeling.

i cried again, i remember what dad used to do and how limited my time with him was and how i --huh-- feel so betrayed, i feel so dissapointed to him, to myself, and i don’t really to make this as a reason; but it is, it is the reason why i am being myself today.

how i just wanna die, how i get numb, how i life in fear for no reason, how stepping out from my door room is just fucking terrifying.

i thought about suicide almost every day, i stop praying to god cus i feel everything is useless. hearing how people are just “yauda kalau uda kehendak Allah--” makes me wanna puke.

well, what keeping me alive till today, not gonna lie, its all thanks to my photocard and the thought i have to keep them save so i can resell it one day without lowing the price.

my hand is shaking when i write this, lmao. fyi, tmi.

and i kinda get into the conclusion, from everything that i felt, from all the hurt i hate to feel, i decided to just live my life as it is. i lost my motivation to life, i lost the willing and wanting to be a better me, i lost the force of being what kind of person i dreamt of.

i lost everything already.

all i feel was just ... nothing. nothing can sparks a joy, nothing is actually can make me feel better --well, jaehyun’s syb photocard for free maybe--all i can easily feel is pain, sadness, fear, feels so traumatic, lowkey.

i don’t wanna meet new people, i will never get marry--or if i have to, ill just marry random guy and i will never can fall in love, not because i can’t move on from the last guy i met, i moved on already lmao, but i just hate to come to the phase of broken heart and blah blah, i can’t handle those type of thing anymore.

so i will be alone, from today.

or- meet a new people online, cus they will just forget you once you gone from this world without questioning a thing.

to conclude everything, i am dead inside and i hope i can dead outside as well too.

i know.

i should have not felt this way; many people have the struggle that is way harder than what i feel. i should have not feel this way cus i stil have some luck and previlage that other people don’t have.

but i just can’t resist the feeling.

instead. just take me.

i really .. wanna die.

dissappear.

gone.

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nialledfromfics · 8 years ago

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rules: choose a couple of fave photos/gifs of your character! copy and paste the questions down below! answer as if you’re the character that’s been tagged! then tag some of your fave characters/authors to answer next! (btw you’re also allowed to tag an author again if they have more than one character you want to answer these questions!)

I was tagged by @niallandharrymakemestrong thank you!! I’m not really sure who to tag, im shit at keeping up with fics, but anyone who wants to do it, PLEASE do!!

sn: gonna write this in the context that niall and sybil are still just fwb, its funner that way ;)

1. If it’s 1am and you’re still awake and wanting to talk to someone, who do you call and what do you talk about?

Niall: Well, if its 1am and I’m still awake, I’m probably balls deep inside her...

Sybil: Niall! *shakes her head* That wasn’t even the question, you weirdo. Okay well first off, he wouldn’t call me–

N: Who says I wouldn’t?

S: Um, you don’t…*Niall rolls his eyes* Anyway, he would probably just send me some corny snap or text or something and then I would call him...because well, I always do. We don’t really chat on the phone much though, but when we do...I guess, we probably just talk about–

N: Stuff we can’t say right now...

S: Golf.

N: *he furrows his brows* Golf?

S: Yup. It always starts off with golf or sports or something equally uninteresting. It’s his way of subtly breaking the ice to get in my pants. Or so he thinks. *Niall laughs*

N: Well, it works doesn’t it?

S: Not as well as you want it to…

N: Yeah, I’ll remember that.

S: Please do. Then next time maybe we can talk about the exciting world of animal documentaries! *Sybil does a fake gasp*

N: You’re an asshole.

S: *giggles*

2. Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

N: Big spoon. No way in hell I’m being a little spoon.

S: What does that even mean? You don’t like being cuddled?

N: No, I like it but...I dunno...I’m always the big spoon, Sybs.

S: *she laughs* Okay, Ni, you’re the big spoon.

3. If you could only listen to one band/artist for the rest of your life, who would it be?

N: Eagles. No question.

S: Hmm…*taps finger on chin* I’d say...One Direction. *sybil shoots her gaze to niall, seeing him staring at her with wide eyes. She shrugs.* What? 1D is a classic, Ni, didn’t you know?

N: Fuckin’ mental. *sybil giggles*

4. What kind of drunk are you?

S: Well, this Irish fella doesn’t really get drunk so...but I’d say I’m a happy drunk. I love love when I’m plastered.

N: Yeah, I think we all know that... *sybil pushes a hand to his shoulder*

5. Are you a team player or do you prefer to go solo?

N: I’d like to think I’m a team player. I work well with others, I guess. Solo is good too though...

S: Solo. Most the time.

6. When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up?

S: I wanted to be a veterinarian.

N: Did ya?

S *nods at him* Yup! Loved animals when I was younger. Don’t even have time to have a fucking goldfish now, but yeah. Probably something you didn’t know about me, huh?

N: Nope. But I can see that. *he gives her a smile* I always knew I wanted to sing, perform and all that. Was always me dream.

7. What’s your ultimate feel good/pick me up TV show or film?

N: Stepbrothers! Or Anchorman...

S: *groans* I’d say anything that has a happy ending. I’m not too picky as long as it’s not dumb. *glances at Niall* Horror movies are my go to though, but they don’t really scream ‘feel good’, do they? *she chuckles*

N: Your love of horror movies scares the shite outta me, to be honest. Afraid I’m gonna wake up one mornin’ with her standin’ by me side of the bed in a mask with me willy chopped off…

S: Oh my God, what? You are so fucking weird, Ni! *they both laugh*

8. What is one scent that reminds you of home? Why?

N: Cow shit. I’m from Ireland, need I say more?

S: Gross. I’d say, the beach. Saltwater and sand. Sunscreen. Anything that has to do with the California coast.

9. If you were given a blank piece of paper and a pen, what would happen?

S: Well, I know what Niall is gonna say–

N: A song.

S: Yup. *she giggles* But for me...I don’t know. I’d probably write a love letter. It’s romantic.

N: A love letter? To who?

S: *she shrugs* I don’t know, to whoever I’m...feeling at the moment.

N: So not to me then?

S: Ni, why would I write you a love letter when you can just call me and have a tantalizing conversation about golf and Planet Earth…

N: *rolls his eyes and shakes his head* Ain’t gonna let that go, are ya?

S: Nope.

10. What are your top three most used emojis?

S: 🙄 💅🏻 🍾 *she chuckles* those are random but so...me.

N: 🍺 😏 🍆 *niall shows sybil his choices and laughs*

S: *she rolls her eyes in a huff* None of those surprise me in the least...

#np #writers questions #THIS WAS SO FUN #thank you for tagging me :))#hope you guys like this little insight to sybil and niall haha

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