#anyone else would have been pissed about this! but im Good because i dont let myself stay mad about it

[aromistic]

was sad and going to post "someone pls come over and bash my head in 👉👈" and then I remembered something and now I'm very angry

[poppy-metal]

Toxic!BalletAU!Jordan where your dance studio becomes you two's bubble.

On paper most rooms are free for all at all times but when you need some privacy you need to schedule and Jordan always needs some privacy especially since you two have been paired up for more than one performance together.

you two have been spending all your time together training and with Jordan always scheduling your time together in the evening your training has been long and tiresome often leading to the two of you exhausted on the floor.

With pauses here and there you test the water, sometimes your questions are met with dry, "shut up." Or "that's none of your buisness." But sometimes after a three hour session Jordan is exhausted enough to answer your questions.

It feels a bit like pillow talk, Jordan will be spread on the floor trying to rest for a few minutes while you'll be massaging your ankles and they'll huff before answering your questions.

You touch everything little by little, their power, if they were scared the first time they shifted, how their parents reacted or questions unrelated to that like how they came to want to become a dancer or what music they listen to.

You two feel it. Especially Jordan when the sun sets and it's been down for a few hours, the vibe has changed it's different and it's just the two of you. They'll still be banter and sarcasm but they'll be soft moments too where Jordan would check their notifications and messages before they turn around ready to start again when they see you napping on the floor and 'reluctantly' (that's what they convince themselves) let you sleep for a small 30 minutes before they gently nudge you with their foot to stand back up and go at it again.

I have so many more in store!

oh my god im melted ice cream on the floor

me when I wrote more than i expected to.

they really start showing their love language too ( i think they're heavy on physical touch and acts of service) to the point where they have this since of pride in their chest whenever you look to them expectantly, doe like eyes wide, and they present you with your protein bar. they ignore the warmth in their chest at how it feels to - to take care of you - feed you, watch you get replenished. and you start falling into this sense of comfort around them, even if there's still moments you genuinely don't know if they hate you or not, you couldn't do what you're doing with anyone else. something in you feels safe around them, despite the thorns threatening to prick you at every turn.

but it feels good to learn about them little by little. you try and be a positive person, maybe you try too hard but thats a discussion for another time, but you're suprised at the intensity of the dark emotions that come over you when you learn about their parents, the way they dont accept jordan - how they're basically the whole reason jordan doesn't shift in front of people here. it actually makes jordan laugh one day, a sharp sound - "shit - you look like a pissed off little rabbit. what, you gonna pout my parents to death?"

that leads to you huffing and shoving at their shoulders, and they actually nudge over a little, in their fem!form - and that's how it starts. a tussle, playfighting really - they just suddenly can't stop giggling at your attempts to be intimidating and you start off miffed but end up just doing it to hear them continue to laugh - because its such a beautiful sound. you think you could bottle it up. wear it around your neck forever.

eventually they pin you under them, panting a little, grinning and flushed - their longer hair fluttering in the space between you. and the giggles die down, their eyes go from mirth at your expense to something - something shockingly tender. it traps the air in your chest. you both have a moment of looking at eachothers lips, then your eyes, before they're leaning in, hungry and fast - and this is all so new - you've never been kissed by anyone - let alone a woman - and you find you're not afraid. far from it. your legs seem to spread natrually, wrapping around their slim waist, pulling them into you.

they kiss you so intensely, its ravenous really, a moan clawing its way from deep in their chest as they move to kiss along your neck - reach down and grip your thigh, yanking it higher around their hips so they can - can grind down. and you gasp at the friction of their cunt on yours - the tights you're both wearing thin enough you can feel the pressure as they drive their hips against you - mimicking - mimicking

"this is how i think about fucking you - " they say, biting at your earlobe, "all the damn time."

you whine, hands scrabbling at their back - "jordan." you gasp, "don't stop - please dont stop."

"fuuck." it comes out like a hiss, they're really rutting you into the floor now, you can feel the wetness of your cunt, of theirs, seeping together, mixing in the sheer fabric separating you both - "god, what're you doing to me." a hand sneaks up, wraps around your throat in an almost punishing manner, "haven't cum this way in ages - fuck - this little freshmen cunt -"

they're cut off, groaning, and your thighs squeeze around their hips, rocking your pelvis up to meet theirs and you hit that peak right after they do - eyes rolling back into your skull at how good it is.

they roll off you, staring up at the ceiling. a kind of dazed, content expression on their face.

and then you say, "that's never happened to me before."

its like a shudder comes down - reality crashing back. they suddenly remember you're a fucking - virgin. and they dont get attached. fuck. especially too people they're working closely with. that familiar panic, panic at this becoming - a thing. they sit up.

"yeah, well. now we can put this - whatever the fuck it was - sexual tension, i guess, behind us. no more missteps."

you feel your heart crack a little. "um, jordan?"

they glance at you as they get their things, and its like weeks of progress has melted away. they're already on their phone, fingers flying across the screen. they shift back into their masc!form, running a hand through their hair as they stop beside you.

they look down at you, something like pity in their eyes, and it makes you sick.

"look freshie." they sigh, "dont make it a thing, okay? we got caught up, we fucked around to let off some steam, this kinda shit happens all the time. bright and early tomorrow, I'll see you then. dont be fucking late."

you try not to cry as you pack your things - alone in the studio. funny how you thought just thirty minutes ago - that you felt safe with them. now you'd been pricked by the thornes, and fuck, if the wound didn't hurt.

outside, jordan kicks over a trashcan. probably way too aggressively. they run both hands through their hair, and actually debate going back inside. taking it all back. because that had been something raw, and real, and vulnerable. but they dont. not for the first time, they harden their heart towards you, and vow to not get close enough to the flame to let it burn them again.

[hanatagami]

Batfam! Reader x Platonic! Damian Wayne - cuddle sessions

this is probably some wishful out of characterness but i dont really care, i just want some fluffy damian sibling time in my life screw capitalization

and please dont look at the tags i dont know if im doing them right

i also haven’t checked for grammar errors

so im gonna show a damian under some very specific conditions

its gonna take you being a very affectionate person

but also someone who doesn’t tease, or knows when not to cause if you do it even once this is never happening again

its gonna take him being absolutely completely sure you wont tease him, or utter a single word about it to anybody in the house

he also has to be completely sure you won’t say no, like 120% sure you won’t say no

heres what i think thats gotta happen for cuddly sibling damian

first is to show an example of how much you want to crush him with affection but don’t because he wouldn’t like it

the scenario i imagine to start this is a competition between all the wayne siblings

the winner gets to do whatever they want to the loser

you are the fortune winner, damian is the unfortunate loser

well he wouldve been unfortunate if it was anyone else

ignoring all the suggestions from the others that would most certainly piss damian off, you already had your heart set on something

“You gotta let me hug you for an entire minute!”

silence

que jason laughing (just ignore him)

the others get a big smile on their face for multiple reasons i dont feel like getting into

but damian grumbles and reluctantly steps up to you

(dick is in charge of the timer)

you crouch down and proceed to wrap him in what you want to make the best hug in the world

you wrap your arms around his neck and hold him to your chest, cradling his head in your arms

you gave a good amount of squeeze, a good comforting amount of squeeze

you don’t think you’d get a chance like this again, damian would never let himself lose again no matter what it takes if you have a good chance of winning

lost in the feeling of finally being able to smother your youngest sibling with affection you didnt really take notice of his reaction

you didnt notice how his body melted into your embrace (though only just a bit)

you didn’t feel how his breath on your neck began to slow down and relax 

or how his eyes began to droop halfway

you were lost in your own little word- and so was he

in fact when dick decided to break you out of your trance, it seems you both had gone passed the promised time without realizing

you had assumed damian was keeping count and would shove you off immediately after it hit the 60 second mark

but he didnt

and by the embarrased look on his face you could see he had MEANT to, but for some reason forgot

you had never seen his composure so broken as jason took the chance to immediately poke fun at him

(tho damian didn’t know that jason was also a secretive fan of hugs from you)

it was a good time 10/10 would hug again

lets skip a bit

but just know theres been a lot of thinking while damian has been on his  lonesome

he liked your hug a lot more then he thought he would

it was so warm and comforting and he had found himself unconsciously leaning into it

his mother wasn’t an affectionate person, being an assassin didn’t allow such luxuries

bruce wasn’t much better, though he tried to be

and by the time his siblings and him got any kind of close he was already uncomfortable with such affections

he never realized how truly touch starved he was cause at this point in his life he didn’t see why he would indulge in such niceties, it was unpleasant

but it more pleasant then he expected, and he had let his guard down which was a critical mistake in both assassination and vigilantism

but there was an itch he now couldn’t scratch with that mindset

he’d been going back and forth with himself for days about asking you to hug him again

(cause lord knows he wasn’t asking anyone else)

and after a particularly stressful day, people at school just bugging the hell out of him, and not being allowed to go out on patrol that night cause bruce noticed his stress

and damian could only assume bruce thought he’d take it out on criminals

which damian was too proud to admit was possible

So imagine your surprise when Damian just bursts into your room, slams the door shut, and turns towards you with his eyes squeezed shut and his arms out

now this is what i meant about teasing and joking, a teasing “no” or any other funny comment and he’ll be humiliated and outta there faster then he was in and he will never come back

its a good thing you knew that right?

you couldn’t help the smile that spread on your face as you approached him and gently wrapped your arms around him

you could tell he was grateful you didn’t say anything

you’d have to guess he has been wanting this for a minute cause it didn’t take him long to completely snuggle up into you

You hadn’t realized he was so craving of affection, and you hazard a guess he hadn’t known either

it was a couple minutes before he broke away from you

when he looked up and saw your warm smile he turned completely red and sped out the door

how cute!

and now to your greatest hopes, it had started becoming a common occurrence!

your youngest brother is now actively seeking out your affection and its an incredible feeling

after the first couple times you had actually gotten him to speak to you during or after

and then a couple times after that, you had gotten him to stop speeding out of your room

he came the most at night, after dinner when everyone would be too busy working or in their room to notice his venture to yours

it was now common for you to silently hug him with one arm with him sat with you in your chair while doing homework or studying for college

or when you play something he’ll sit in front of you and let you rest your head on his

one of your favorite memories is him falling asleep on your lap on accident and him being so embarrassed when he woke up he pretended to still be asleep

you could feel the heat in his face so you decided to do him a favor and pretend you hadn’t noticed and instead moved him to your bed

though you couldn’t help the small kiss you planted on his forehead, knowing he couldn’t bring it up without outing himself

he’ll have to live with it

and you were surprised to find out he was the kind of brother who would sneak into your room at night

now you never caught the reason why, but you at least knew he didn’t want you to know

he came in and laid next to you when you were “sleeping” and left before you “woke up”

you assumed he was facing some inner demons when he did this, and wanted the small comfort but didn’t want the embarrassment of waking you up and asking you

you and alfred now have a hidden code, not that alfred knows (he probably does but you didnt tell him, but you were sure him and bruce had noticed and got a good idea as to what was happening)

well its not much of a code but when alfred asks for you or damian for one thing or another, you can send him something along the lines of “hey, ive got damian helping me with something” and alfred seems to get it and leaves you two alone for now

im not gonna say how, you and damian dont even know he does, but bruce has pictures

which is crazy cause you’ve never taken one, even while damian is asleep, cause this isn’t something your ruining

but bruce has pictures and he keeps them safe and secure for only him and alfred to see

seeing damian be so close to you makes him so happy

not that he’d say, him and damian are alike in that way

but alfred knows though

he always knows

[eowynstwin]

oooooo i love to see the pot get stirred 😈

but im also curious as to what you think!

the choose violence ask game-

1, 2, 8, 16, 18, 19, 21, 22, 23, 25

LMAO i just realized thats like… all the questions im so sorry you dont have to answer all of them 😅

i’m over 18 so dont worry! muah!

Oh DAMN. Naturally I’m gonna answer them all!

1. The character everyone gets wrong

Gaz. I think people tend to write him as this sunshine sweet golden retriever boy, when in-game we see that he’s a sarcastic little shit who doesn’t hesitate to take the piss out of Price, his commanding officer. Guy’s way more interesting than what people allow him to be.

2. A compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

Stealing @lunarvicar’s answer to this question nearly wholesale, because I agree entirely. Ghost’s trauma would make it very, very difficult for him to endure bottoming. I think a good fic could manage it, but it would have to be done right.

8. Common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

That ANY of these men want to be fathers. I don’t know why so many fucking people are obsessed with children on this goddamn site.

16. You can’t understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

The fucking hybrid thing??? First of all, put your pussy into it and call it the furry kink that it is. Second of all, most people who write this shit aren’t even writing characters anymore. They’re just writing bad anime porn and slapping the CoD character names on there to generate notes.

18. It’s absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on…

Farah/Alex. The amount of trust that exists between them? Come ON. But god forbid anyone care about a brown woman in this fandom.

19. You’re mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like…

CRINGE IS DEAD AND I KILLED IT BABEY. I will swim in the ocean of A/B/O while humanity remains fearfully at shore.

21. Part of canon you think is overhyped

Uh. I dunno. That any of the stuff that happens in game is indicative of any kind of real-life heroism?

22. Your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores?

Gaz’s aforementioned shit-stirring. I just know he’s so fun to bitch about things with.

23. Ship you’ve unwillingly come around to

This might surprise people, but I was wary of ghostsoap in the beginning. I have never liked fandom’s penchant to hyperfocus on relationships between men to the exclusion of all else—but in fairness to the ship, there isn’t much else in any of these games to pay real attention to. As you can see, ghostsoap and I have lived happily ever after.

25. Common fandom complaint that you’re sick of hearing

“You should just let people write what they want and what makes them happy without bashing it.” Actually Becky, I will continue to be a petty bitch, thank you.

[mbat]

i keep thinking about book 14 and the crown thing at the end that can seem ridiculous if you take it at face value, but i dont think youre supposed to take it at face value

the icewing crown was enchanted by a past queen so that everyone who wore it afterwards would hate nightwings just as much as she did. at first that like, comes out of nowhere and sounds like. funny honestly. like okay, sure, okay. racism crown

but i personally believe its meant to be more symbolic than literal

this queen, queen diamond as we know, had lost her son to another tribe, she percieved it as him having been kidnapped, stolen from her and never returned, but because she couldnt accept the truth that her son had simply fallen in love with a dragon from that tribe and had run off with her. quite frankly, no matter the truth, losing your child and never seeing them again can be life changing, even traumatic.

im not excusing her actions of course, but rather trying to explain them and my own point

not to mention that they were primary royal line at this point, and on top of that were both the last animus dragons from a long, long line of animus dragons who the icewing tribe held near and dear for many generations. this decision her son made would change the whole world, but also would change her whole world.

she was definitely pissed about it, and would not dare let anyone forget. she ended up kidnapping and imprisoning the woman he ran off with for not only the rest of her own life, but for the 2000 years following long after her death. cementing how harshly she hated what happened, and hated a woman who simply fell in love with her son.

personally im not surprised she went a step further and enchanted the crown to drive the point into the ground.

with all that out of the way, the symbolism is clear to me. its the trauma and the hatred being passed down through the generations. she didnt want anyone to dare forget what happened, and they wouldnt for a long time. not until snowfall went on a journey that would change her own life, this time for the better, and she said a big ol fuck you to several icewing traditions all at once.

of course, she wasnt the first of her own generation of family to say fuck you to it all, her own sister and cousins all proved that, but especially in the way that winter released foeslayer and quite literally broke the way a tradition even functioned, and ended the long, long torture of the poor woman, and one of diamonds horrible ways of expressing her hatred for what happened.

but snowfall is a queen. a queen who wore that shitty little racism crown more often than literally anyone wanted aside from whatsername (tundra?) and her mind was racing with paranoia of not only her own tribespeople and other tribes, but especially of the nightwings.

it wasnt until she spent days not only with other dragons, but ending up as other dragons due to animus magic she foolishly decided to wear without knowing what it was (it was a good thing of course) that she was stripped of her debilitating paranoia for the most part, and saw how her own tribe traditions were only making it worse.

a cliff made to physically harm anyone who would try and enter the kingdom. a board that she literally had to change daily that insisted that certain dragons had to be better than eachother. and of course, a crown that was enchanted to make you hate certain dragons the way your ancestor did because she couldnt cope with her own circumstances a long, long time ago.

she looked around and saw a tribe that was long broken because of traditions people were terrified to touch, but she was sick of it all, and not only that, she wanted to be the best queen she could possibly be.

she broke the cliff wall, officially letting other dragons in. she broke the circles wall, refusing to trap anyone else in the hell of trying to be better than eachother (and of her having to stand in front of it every night miserably sorting people lol), and she broke the crown that was poisoned to make her and every other queen feel the hatred of someone long dead, literally or not.

she saw the best way to be queen as breaking traditions that her people held dear, but those traditions were only harming them in the long run. and on top of it, she broke a long held chain of generational hatred that she was never supposed to feel in the first place.

queen diamond couldnt cope with the loss of her son and she took it out on anyone she saw fit, and that meant even her own descendants* who had nothing to do with it that she would never even meet. thats like, the definition of generational trauma isnt it?

*(or rather her niece and who came after her)

so yeah, racism crown ha ha, but like... symbolic of generation trauma, and eventually the breaking of it and other things as breaking that chain and the traditions that upheld them.

[granitenotgranted]

I'm gonna need ur reaction and thoughts about the RaM finale once you've watched it

I only watched it yesterday so im not gonna have any hot and spicy new takes for yall but ya girl DID have some thoughts lets go (obviously spoiler warning)

thank you SO SO much for asking!! I’m honored that you want my takes<33

Listen I hate to say it but I KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!! GOD!!! 😭😭😭

I just need to come out here and say this but first of all I dont think Rick replacing himself was really a bad thing,,,, like at all LMAO especially knowing that it was Rick who made him I mean it was more than just a replacement he was made to be the grandpa he wants for morty but he just knows he can’t be right now.

I can fully understand how it would absolutely feel like a betrayal to Morty but looking at it as a viewer I mean Rick was fully spiraling, to me his intentions were completely pure. Also I thik im just grateful they gave us a time stamp for when the swap was made so we didnt have to wonder forever how much of Rick this season was Rick. He still did piss master, he still kept Jerry blissfully ignorant just out of good will, he STILL WILLINGLY WENT TO THERAPY. All these wouldve been out the window if theyd overlooked that detail. 

Him recognizing that he was starting to go off the deep end again and not only removing himself but having his familys best interest in mind ( “Im no good to anyone until I resolve this” ) while doing so AND literally while mad at Morty is still INSANE character growth from where we started but this way is REALISTIC character growth. It was WEIRD how black and white the difference between literally yhe last two episodes and even just the rest of the season (which has famously been Rick in his peak good grandpa career) was. At some points it felt like I was reading fanfiction.

(Why do his knees look like that oh my god) Rick is fully capable of recognizing where he can be better, he always has been, he is not stupid *however* he is CLUTCHING onto the idea of being more logical than sentimental by the fucking neck rn. Men will literally build an anatomically flawless ai to be the perfectly calculated percentage nicer to their grandson and to be the man they wish they were before just going back to therapy.

Someone else mentioned this but ill also point out how much I appreciated just seeing Rick working? Like just in his space completely focused building shit with his brain and hands that hit the fucking spot. 9/10 times we only get the finished product and idk if its just me but I love when we SEE Rick living up to the Rick Sanchez tm reputation.

And Morty... my sweet summer child. It is not at all a shiny new take to say oh he’s so done with ricks shit we all know that but I really really want to point out something that I’m not really sure what point I’m trying to make with but have we noticed almost a switch morty flips when on adventures? He cried because Christmas was ruined like not even a full 6 hours before he was fully ready to kill a man while looking him in the eyes. Maybe the two were cause and effect idk bht I think that’s definitely something present in other episodes too this sorta “just get it done” attitude.

Also how much he sounded like rick this ep? That whole “don’t be too flattered he’s been actively trying to die” sounded EXACTLY like a Rick line I literally had to play it again. And the complete apathy for robo rick wanting to die until he ACTUALLY lunged himself into the void was also just textbook rick bullshit. Like grandfather like goddamn grandson.

The ending to me was a little disappointing tbh I think I was hoping for a more,,, structured? Cliffhanger? Like we dk what’s gonna happen in this storyline instead of the introduction to a new storyline yk? MAYBEEE I’m just salty we have to wait another year for more you can’t prove anything.

Rick being borderline manic ab RP at the end was my favorite it’s nice to see him just rant ab anything really and like not make some bullshit elaborate Halloween house to take his anger out but just legit vent ab what this guys been doing to him for the past fucking 40 years. I didn’t even notice the ep was over when the credits rolled in my mind we were only like 10 minutes in and I lost my MIND when mr poopy butthole pulled up again good to see he’s thriving (kinda)

On a final note when he called him Rick prime please let me know if I’m off but is that not an internet term for him? Like the fandom came up with it? Rick and morty writers are tumblerinas confirmed question mark?

And lastly: Neurotypical. Cooties.

[arsen1cs4ng0]

serious post, please read

i think im comfortable enough to talk about my experiences with the chip fandom from march 2022 until february 2023, and how much it really affected me.

i never really wanted to publicly open up about this shit due to past experience and what i had to witness with many of my friends, but im kinda sick of pretending everything is fine and great on here!!

some of the shit i'll be saying under the keep reading cut may be really upsetting, please keep that in mind before proceeding (tws for suicide and harassment) doubt anyone will read this seeing as im such a small account, but hey fucking ho lol

ughhh where the fuck do i begin i created the starlandspoons account in the hopes of trying to warm up to the chip fandom again after enduring so much on the twitter side of it (hoping the tumblr side would be a little better) but... even with me trying to create good memories like i was able to in early 2022.... the pain i felt never subsided.

this is the part where val moans about their chip trauma!! the main shit (im not calling this """drama""". this shit is serious) started in late february of 2022. a controversial figure in the chip fandom, gremlin, came out with an ""apology"" for her actions (i go in detail about her actions here), blaming her actions in 2020/21 on shit like "i was doing it to piss people off" and much more that i dont really want to think about. admittedly, i initially fell for this, being too naive to understand exactly how bad she was (i knew she was bad, but didnt realise how bad)

now heres where the shit really started. back in march of 2022, i witnessed one of my friends on twitter (not naming who, i dont want them to get harassed again) get bombarded with hate + get vagueposted for not forgiving her. people started block-evading them, one person started being enbyphobic towards said person... you can get the idea here. the first time, it did a bit of damage on the way i viewed chip. i lost my taste in it temporarily. that was, until a few days later, where i had a new hyperfixation related to chip (lil guy), which kept my love for it going for a little longer!! that hyperfixation was so strong (stronger than any of my other ones had been) it was able to keep me mostly distracted from the bad shit. mostly.

everything was cool. great. as far as i remember... until late may/early june 2022. back in may of 2022, i became friends with someone called yuzu. they ran an account on twitter where they posted chip songs, tts songs, a/e songs, you get the picture... i became really good friends with them for a while, they were always there to listen to me, we'd talk a lot, yknow. what stood out was that nobody else i knew was that understanding. i was bullied a lot irl, and it was comforting to have that person there for you. i felt.... great!!!

the night of june 9th came, where they got blocked by my friends for "recommending a song from a bad person". they let me know about this, i checked what happened, and... it was a song from gremlin. this didnt bother me too much until i tried to explain to them that they were both problematic... they didn't listen. i dont remember the exact details now as my brain blocked out most of it, but i remember this almost made me spiral into a meltdown, and i suddenly couldnt stand them. i blocked them because i was too uncomfortable and i was on a brink of a meltdown.

june 10th, they made a whole vent about me. guess who had a meltdown!! multiple meltdowns in the span of 2 weeks!! how did i know?? twitter bugged out on me. the vent completely broke me. i was reminded of my ex and how they talked to me. i started getting scared of myself. i felt like a monster. i seriously wanted to kill myself. at that point, i was waiting for my chip friends to block me because i started all of the shit this time!! shit people wanted to move on from!! my brain was convincing me that my chip friends hated me!! (and to this day i still feel like that sometimes)

i had so many more meltdowns from that time. late june, i had to defend another friend (who i'll refer to as bones, for privacy reasons) from being manipulated by them. i was so angry one of my friends went to calm me down through dms. i was so stressed out of my mind that i even went non-verbal one time, which rarely happens!! this continued on and on and on, spending my time and energy defending my friends. i found out so much more about gremlin, even more gross shit, seeing she was friends with someone who is very openly radf*m/a t*rf (+ blamed bones for their own personal family problems), someone who was openly proshit (+ was one of the people who harassed one of my friends)... you get the picture.

this ate away at my mental health more, to the point where i started contemplating suicide. shit i dealt with irl really didnt help either.

the worst part was in january of this year where i had a really bad panic attack because i was scared bones was going to kill themself and there was nothing i could do about it. after that i gave up with the fandom because i finally accepted no matter what i did, nobody would listen. to bones, the friend im talking about, i hope you're okay and i'm sorry i chickened out. im sorry i failed you.

i attempted to try to step my toe into the chip fandom a few months later again by creating the starlandspoons account as my vosim hyperfix was still there and i really missed the good times, but... i still felt unhappy. i have nightmares about the chip fandom sometimes. i am constantly reliving the shit i had to witness in my head. im still feeling the anger i felt those months ago. im still getting angry at myself for not doing more to defend my friends. im still feeling suicidal (not just from the chip fandom, but its contributing to it). it all hurts so much, to this day.

im still going to post on the starlandspoons account for as long as my vosim hyperfix continues. yall are not taking that from me.

sorry for such a heavy vent post, but ive just been needing to let this out for such a long time. it's 4am, i desparately need to sleep. i will say this a thousand times more: thank you to the chip friends who have stayed by my side despite all the shit i endured. thank you so much, you guys really mean to me. seriously, you guys do. i dont know what i'd do without you guys. and to 3 certain people from the chip fandom (you 3 know who you are), thank you especially.

for those who read all of this, thank you for listening to silly little val. i'll be okay, i think. i hope you guys have a good day/night/whatever time it is for you. ;___;

[daftpuppy]

hey so im new to the fandom cause i realized i am into it.. May i ask , if its normal to just have a default kink? I vividly remember watching videos about this before I was conscious, and id grind.. I, personally dont enjoy it, cause i find it weird, and a lot does too... im just turned on by it and idk why.. 😭😭😭

im going to be straight with you, I def not the best person to ask this question to at all! Hell i would 100% recommend asking anyone else.

i myself am still rather 'new' to the kink community as an whole (technically ive been doing this shit for years but im super on and off with it so i dont really count it)

but ill try to give some sort of answer (i would highly recommend asking others and looking at articles/reasearch papers so dont just take my word and run with it cause im probs wrong).

This is my first time hearing the term 'default kink' but i assume it mainly refers to having a kink in concept. Like how you would tell someone you liked piss broadly than saying omo specifically (I could be 100% wrong, i would greatly appreciate it if someone could tell me the true definition cause i couldnt find any thing about that term TT). Which in that sense i would thinks its fine, like imo its fine to have a kink that you dont really want to participate in but find it hot.

(From this point onwards Im mainly talking out of my ass, feel free to skip if its not really answering your question cause it probably isnt. Im just one passionate bitch who cant stay on topic)

For the later part of your question, i totally get it. Omorashi for me was something that turned me on but i also felt so disgusted by it for the longest time which caused me to basically stop doing it cause i thought it was 'too weird' and disgusting. It really wasnt until recently where I realised who gives a shit if its werid, and I starting seeing more posts on Twitter about kinks and taboo which only really pushed me further down the rabbit hole...again.

I think everyone has a right to think something theyre into is too werid and begin to hate it because of the way it turns you on, but i think a lot of it involves getting rid of societal expectations and just being you. Cause no matter what kink you have, if its piss or not, 99% of society will hate it and think you are weird for it. You cant please everyone but you can please yourself.

For you since you dont enjoy it cause you find it werid but get turned on by it, it can be a slippery slope. It may be a thing were you dont like participating im omo but like watching it, or maybe you prefer controlling. Idk thats for you to find out if you even want to.

Again, DO NOT TAKE WHAT I SAY AT FACE VALUE! Do more reasearch cause im a stranger on the internet, not some kink professional. When it was me in that position all it took was a mindset change. Realising that I should be able to indulge myself and not feel 'dirty' for it, letting myself understand that yes, a piss kink is weird, but it feels good to me so I should let myself experiment even if i end up concluding it wasnt for me. But it may not be the same for you and thats ok.

I cant really give you a definate answer cause i feel like its a pretty personal journey you have to take. You know, start out small and see how it goes.

anyway sorry about my college theis. Hopes it helps, im really just talking about of my ass rn. If theres someone who has a better take feel free to add, idk if i even answered the question lmao 😭

[iwillfeastonyourflesh]

i dont think im a good person. i think im one of the worst types. i see whats wrong, understand that its wrong, and still i let it happen. sometimes i actively participate in it. my oldest brother is kind, and doesnt let anything anyone says about him stop him from living truthfully. but the things people say are fucking awful, and i know that i wouldnt be able to handle it as well as he does. my other brother saw what was happening to him, and decided to not let it happen to him. he became one of those popular kids that has a huge ego, but he saw my brother and never bullied someone else. i saw both the paths i could choose, and walked in the middle. im friends with people who aren’t actually popular, but act like they are and gossip like it. they’re shit people and bully/talk shit about people behind their backs. this includes me. the girl i talk to the most in the group, as shes in most of my classes, spends all the time shes with me either complaining about her family or making fun of people. if shes willing to talk crap about the people she actually likes in the group, shes def talking crap about me. shes said things to my face before, but other than calling me a loser the thing she said that stuck with me most was telling me i was the uglier version of another friend (im going to call her S). ive always compared myself to S, as shes the one i look most like. having an example of what i should be right next to me all the time sucks, but i don’t blame her for it. i have a lot of other friends, but none that i could fit into the group with. im not sure what to do. i know that a lot of people who are “older and wiser” than me will say that what’s happening to me rn isnt a big deal, and im aware of that. i try not to let these things affect me, as there are people who have actual problems and arent just spoiled kids who make jokes too much and accidentally made people think shes unaffected. a few days ago the friend who i spend the most time with (im calling her C) made a joke about one of our friends to her face, but it was the kind of joke thats too far. in response to her doing this, since i was right next to her, i told a “joke” to her face that was too far. i said something about how she ruins all of our conversations with negative comments, and thats why nobody talks to her. i could tell by her face that it hurt. she was almost silent the rest of class. i feel like complete and utter shit for saying it, but i keep trying to remind myself that she needs to learn. she comes from a rich family, and thinks that the few minor inconveniences in her life matter to everyone. her mom has bipolar, and the meds she was taking for it made her severely depressed and she ended up going to the hospital for it. ever since she came back from the hospital, C’s been acting like her mom is batshit insane. she got on the bus one time upset that her dad yelled at her, and ended up telling me that her moms crazy because shes not doing anything to take care of herself. i know people who were abused by their parents, and got beaten half to death but still sent back to their house because of the fucked up system we have. C telling me that pissed me off bc she gets whatever she wants, whenever she asks for it, and has never had to worry about money or whether or not her family would survive a war. im not saying these things have happened to me, but i dont try and act like my “problems” are the most important ones. im really sorry about this if for some reason you decided to read the full thing, and i apologise for sounding like a whiny brat, but i needed to tell someone and this way ill never know who that someone is, or if there is a someone. i wish you the very best, and i hope everything you want to happen will. good night

“Sometimes you just jump and hope it’s not a cliff.” - Casey McQuinston, Red, White, and Royal Blue

[nerdlebirdle]

TW: low self esteem, depression, spiralling thoughts, toxic relationship mentioned

Random words cause i dont know who to talk to without feeling like a burden to irl friends so im putting it on the internet and idk if i'll even post it. i just want to compile my thoughts.

Im currently going through a depressive episode and got hit with bad news and work has been pissing me off. All negative emotions.

I told my boyfriend about it and just broke down in tears while we were cuddling in bed. Told him about the bad news, how i felt regarding bad news, that on top of being pissed because of work and bad news i have this depressive episode that i have been trying to stave off but cant. I cant run away from depressive episodes that long.

And he just... he held me and hugged me and reassured me im not a horrible person? And that he just felt bad that he didnt know how much i hide emotion wise???

And im laying there going "no its okay. I dont want to be a burden so i hide it. Its second nature" which yes it is, its a defense mechanism i have been using since i was little to avoid feeling like a burden and other horrible thinking i have of myself. (This is NOT a good defense mechanism, i know but im working on it.)

He just "youre not a burden" and when i apologized for bringing the mood down he said "its okay im glad you told me." And i... 😭😭 im emotional

He is so supportive and understanding and patient and kind. This is my first healthy relationship and its throwing me for a GIANT loop.

My ex literally hated hearing about my problems and would spin it to be about him. And when i didnt talk to him, he would get upset i wouldnt talk to him.

And now im in a relationship that not only is he always listening, he's reassuring me of everything im insecure about.

Telling me i am enough. Im not a burden. I can talk to him. Hes happy that i feel safe enough to talk to him about this stuff on MY OWN TIME. Like he doesnt expect to hear about it all the time or all at once but when i do talk about it he doesnt stop me. He doesnt get upset. He listens and he does everything he can to comfort me???? To reassure me its okay to feel like this and that im doing me best??? That im a strong person????

Its so utterly wild to me but it's so nice.

I never thought i would get something like this in my life. I didnt think i deserved it and sometimes i still feel like this. (Im working on it) but its the little things that my boyfriend does that just... i feel loved. I feel special. I feel important. And he just does so much and i dont know if he realizes how much he does with these little gestures.

I have not been one to talk about stuff like this to people. This leads back to my defense mechanism and keeping myself safe. But with him i feel safe, that i can talk to him and not feel judged.

HELL HE TOLD ME "i wont judge you. I will be here for you" 😭😭😭

Everything he has done in the 2 months we have been dating has been more than my ex did in 7 years. More than anyone else has in my entire life.

I know i have good friends that have been with me for years but nothing compares to how my boyfriend makes me feel.

Its throwing me for a loop because i havent had a healthy relationship before this one. I still struggle with my depression. But i know i can go to him if i need to talk to someone or even to just sit with. And that alone is a thought that helps me a ton.

My depression wont ever fully go away but it doesnt feel entirely lonely anymore. Yes the spiralling thoughts keep coming and going and sometimes i do convince myself that i went to far and let out too much emotion/information. But i know he has my back. That alone is such a helpful thing that sits in my head.

And its just so nice to have that.

I hope you all have someone like that. If you dont, please dont lose hope. You will find someone. Just hang in there. I may not know you, but i care about you. You are not alone. I know its tough. I know its hard. I have been in your position many a times. Hang in there. You are doing your best even if it doesnt feel like it. You got this. One step at a time. And no matter how small a step you take, its still progress.

[honeybee-taskforce]

1x02 Rewatch Thoughts and Feelings

same disclaimer i’m on my phone typos and grammar errors can be invoiced to my publicist for review (its me)

-I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH what a fuckin fever dream hearing that song again

-oh wow they are grilling the hell out of him for this routine lmfao i forgot how much they tease him about all of this

-this was one of those scenes i mentioned where the emergency escalated so quick and was not what i expected it to be at all lmfao

-the aging with the bird box netflix comment zzzzzz i hate when media does this but i can overlook it here

-paul doing a thing we need another of these on season five. TWO if i may be so brave to request

-where the hell did this delivery driver even get the mercury for this now that i really think about it

-there’s some weird liberty mutual ad playing right now that has a baby talking about insurance im kind of in awe at the absurdity

-owen struggling to let go of his hair treatment goofy ass

-judd in therapy hits so hard ugh grace being there with him and he is truly trying and even has his comfort pillow for hugging because he needs something but it just isnt enough yet my heart hurts for him so much

-i forgot that grace is near sobbing when he leaves jesus christ that hurts too she loves this man so much and his pain is hers (and vice versa of course) i’m so glad that never goes away as the show goes on. Even if i could use more of it.

-michelle helping this little boy is a great foil to her introduction and i love it a lot, BUT overall i can’t find a way to care about this whole plot with Iris missing. Probably because i know it doesn’t go anywhere after this season except for the start of season 4…. I really wonder how different everything would have been had liv stayed and plot lines not adjusted accordingly. -“what the pissed off look on my fave aint enough proof” judd you teddy bear you know its not lmfao

-“he doesn’t know i’m sick” YOU NEED TO TELL HIMMMMMM

-my extended family cooks a pig just like this in a pit and everything and it tastes soooooo good

-“but just so you know i am a homosexual 😉” this whole bit is so silly and i like that they added it after a few intense back to back bits with the first emergency, michelle’s stuff, and owen’s chat with judd

-shakes ass to last night in my stillettos while these two hook up for the first and definitely not the last time

-tk give him back his damn belt you know that is not yours you rude city boy!

-carlos is all doe eye and soulmate smitten ahhhhh you cutie pie

-michelle goes to a psychic what the hell i dont remember this. BUT NOW IM REALIZING ITS THE SAME LADY WITH THE WORMS LATER ON IN THE SHOW HUHHHHH (right? Or am i losing my mind)

-spongebob movie voice: BALD BALD BALD BALD BALD

-the lady leaving herself to die in a fire because hes bald????? I know its a nightmare but wtf i forgot about all of that too 😭

-owen embracing this guy’s fantasy about the overlords but not being able to wrap his own head around his health’s reality is heartbreaking… at least he’s forced to address it once TK finds the meds

-owen and judd riding horses already getting that brotherly bond started ooooo i love them so much

-oh god first date time oh wow olay here we go CARLOS YOU'RE SO SMITTEN BUT NOWS NOT THE TIIIIME

-the boys miscommunicating for the first and certainly not the last time but its okay because it’s all a part of their story <3

-carlos calling this a hookup boy you know damn well that is not how you feel about this

-tk is so sad when he apologizes for the misunderstanding because the last thing he wants is to hurt anyone else but he can’t stop himself and it all just gets worse and worse in his eyes…. At least we know it gets better eventually. -grace helping judd count to 5 and she is so proud of him oh i love these two so goddamn much they are perfect and i need even more of them in season five

-does every episode of season 1 end with a song playing over a montage of stuff happening like did i just block that from my memory

-owen taking the first step to being more comfortable with his reality outside of the obvious therapy and treatments ugh so good.

god season one feels like a completely different show from the rest of it? Obviously the changes with casting and covid messed somethings up but i wonder how different everything would have been had the pandemic not happened and they were able to collow through on plot lines they wanted to from the beginning

[pacifymebby]

I did not see it coming at all. Also I'm not sure that's what Rhys meant when he said he wanted them to make up 😬 How does miss groupie really feel about each of the boys?

I'm not gonna lie i didnt see it coming either and then as i was writing it just suddenly occurred to me that they couldn't not? There characters have been building to some kind of realisation since the very beginning, theyve always been closer than just "fuck buddies" and its been apparent right from the start that they care about eachother and that if she was any other girl they'd have been together already.

But for reals its definitely not what rhys meant :o :o :o

I know im the writer and I'm supposed to know how my characters feel but right now i have no clue whatsoever!! I think miss groupie is confused and in a real mess and I am confused too. I dont even know who i think would be better for her at this point??

Its clear she fancies the fuck out of Billy and she's definitely going to be thinking about that night for a very long time. I can't imagine shes finished with him just yet.

Aaron is definitely someone she is very emotionally close with too, not as much as she is with Harri, but they're certainly good friends. Perhaps theres less between them and perhaps he may be a little easier to let go if it ever even comes to that, but I think she'd be lying if she said she could let him go and never second guess herself.

Jamie is such a tricky one because clearly everyone else thinks he isn't good for her, and perhaps he isn't... But theres something there that she just can't get enough of. Maybe if we sat down and psychoanalysed her we'd find some deep emotional reason for her enjoying the way he appears to hate her, the cruelty he treats her with and the plain lack of respect he seems to have for her.. Or perhaps shes just a thrill seeker and that's all there is to it. Either way I think she's still hooked on his temper and trying to piss him off. He has a lot more to offer her right now than you can begin to imagine and i think her inability to predict just how far he's going to take things will keep her hanging on despite her friends warnings.

Theres also the fact that Jamie has expressed a hint of remorse and perhaps even a little concern for her in the past, and has certainly calmed down after the events backstage which lead to this mess in the first place. You can't forget that he was willing to fuck his entire engagement into the ground for her, and although perhaps you could say that says more about his lack of love for Saskia than it does his feelings for y/n, but you can't say that without acknowledging that it takes something pretty strong to lead someone seemingly blindly down a path of devestation so, well, devestating. Whether its attraction, love, something else or just plain old self distructive tendencies, somethings going on there he isnt telling anyone...

If anyone knows whats going on his Jamies head its probably Eddie and perhaps thats why out of all the lads Eddie has the least to do with our groupie.

Eddie really is just a bit of a booty call for her, they don't even fuck very often and hardly have one to one interaction. Probably Jamie is keeping him too busy with the laundry and ironing his socks, he doesnt have the same free time as the others. Or perhaps he can sense that theres something underneath Jamies bad temper and cruel remarks, perhaps hes seen this kind of thing before and he knows whats really going on in Jamies head...

The younger lads are far too new to the mix for y/n to show them any real thought I think, she doesn't know many of them all that well, but she probably feels a minor moral obligation to Finn because of her relationship with his father. I think they're more likely to remain friends even if she gives up her nympho lifestyle and settles down. I think he sees himself as a friend to her and she sees herself as a friend to him too. In another life they could have ended up being raised together like brother and sister (you know because when her dad died finns dad was there and could have taken her in) so i think they understand theyre always going to know one another and need to be friends.

I think she's going to remain curious about James, i dont think she's going to be able ti shelve that curiosity at all... But is she even going to get to know him? What if she has to pull the plug on everything because of whats happened between her and Harri.

As for Rhys... That feels so uncertain and so complicated. Their relationship developed so fast and really is the spanner thats been thrown in the works between the rest of them. Rhys showing up has meant she spends less time with Aaron, no longer sleeping in the same bed as him at night, its meant theres been someone there to hold her back from winding Jamie up, someone to show her the care and comfort she needs when she goes ahead and pushes that too far anyway. Before Rhys her main authority figure was Harri, but he always enjoyed her wild side too much to ever really hold her back or stop her when she was in the middle of a tricksy plan. Rhys has been there to defend her, something shes never let anyone do in the past, to look after her and treat her softly, baby her in a way shes never let anyone else do. Before him she was always keeping up the "pretence" of independence, that she liked being alone, that she didn't need anyonr and that other people to her were just pieces in her game to be used and then knocked off the board. But Rhys is different, he's the only one who won't give her what she wants, the only one who won't give her instant gratification or the satisfaction of a conquest and so for the first time she's being forced to consider making sacrifices, to consider someone elses feelings and rules... Because Harri didnt have rules and she didn't care about anyone elses.

Rhys does and for the first time she isnt being rewarded for breaking them... Thats forcing her to really consider what he js to her.

I think she wants to trust him completely, but something is holding her back... The knowledge that if she hands herself over to him she has to give up all her other options. For whatever reason this girl craves and needs the attention of all these men, perhaps its just a classic sex addiction or perhaps its something deeper than that.

We know shes got her daddy issues and she always seems to be seeking out authority (even if that is only so she can rebel against it) either way its complicated and she has a lot of thoughts and feelings to try and work out. And tbh she's running out of time to do so...

I think a fair few chapters back Jamie asked her what she was going to do when the tour ended and she told him she'd probably go home for awhile, find a new band to hang around with... I think all considering the stitch shes in now, and the way she tends to deal with problems (either purposefully making them worse or straight up ignoring them and shutting off her feelings) she really will go off and do that. Perhaps we'll get a Groupie Part ll or perhaps someone else will give her a better opportunity.

Thanks for this anon anon, its actually given me a good opportunity to recap everything and really consider the characters feelings haha ♥️♥️♥️

[theprinceandthewitch]

Honestly, the more I think back on season 3 the more I am inclined to believe it's purposefully designed to piss people off

Dont get me wrong, TOH's writing style has always been "let's just throw in a bunch of ideas without caring about how these ideas contradict other information presented in the story and if they even are appropriate for the story we're telling" but there's something about this season that just begs the viewer to hate it.

The lack of Huntlow in TTT makes no sense. Again, they could have made them canon in the montage or in Willow's scrapbook but they dont. On top of that, all of Hunter's scenes in TTT go to Luz and not Willow. Even in the graveyard fight it's LUZ that's struggling to fight against Hunter because she's afraid of hurting him. Everybody else is wailing on him without caring about Hunters safety. They establish Luz as the "Evelyn" to Hunter's "Caleb" during the hayride and in the graveyard by having Belos name-drop Evelyn and Caleb while hes talking to Luz and Hunter. Flapjack doesn't even fly to Willow while he's on his death bed - he flies to Luz.

Then FTF comes around and says, yeah, you know what would be a good idea? Lets dedicate this episode to Huntlow. And even then it's fucking weird because Willow and Hunter aren't actually given any alone time to bond - Gus is nearby. And Hunter's dialogue doesn't target Willow specifically as someone important to him - Gus is included in his dialogue. There is nothing going on in this scene that screams "romantic". And again, there is no confession between them at the end of FTF so...

And they dont even have Willow kiss him in WAD. No pictures of them kissing and theres no scenes that include a huntlow kiss. Hunter is fucking awkward around her despite supposedly dating her for years. AND THEN - they give Willow Luz's season 1 haircut. Willow basically becomes a stand-in for Luz and she also has this hairstyle to make her look more like Evelyn. Even though it makes no sense to even push this parallel because Evelyn's and Willow's haircolor isnt the same. So its like??? What the HELL is going on here. It's like you want to piss people off.

Moving on...

The Collector's everything in this season is so fucked lol. First of all, he doesn't need a redemption arc. If they gave them a redemption arc specifically so they had a way of writing them out of the story, they didnt need to do this because TC is shown to be a character who will actually keep their end of the deal - even if they get a bit sidetracked. It could have been written in a way where TC will fuck-off if Luz wins a game with them. That's it, it's that simple. The redemption arc is unnecessary and only eats up screentime that should be dedicated to the characters that actually matter.

The Collectors lore is all over the place. In KKKOHD The Collector is shown catching The Owl Beast while theres a dead titan in the background. This dead titan looks to be the same titan The Titan trappers are settled on. But then King's Tide implies hes been in the mirror since King's Father was killed by titan trappers. The Collector is the titan-trappers god, but Im not sure why they target TC to be their god specifically. Since FTF and WAD tell us that there are other collectors running about and that these other collectors were the ones who employed titan trappers to wipe out the titans. The titan trapper and Collector lore and how it relates to the disappearance of the titans is very confusing honestly. Like you'd drive yourself crazy trying to make sense of it.

The staves Belos and Hunter use are interesting because it's implied The Collector taught Belos how to make them:

The Collector: [Furiously.] I gave you the draining spell. I taught you magic stronger than anybody's!

Belos: [Unfazed.] And that's why I won't release you. Can't have you giving that to anyone else. Goodbye.

But yeah... this show has no consistency to it and im not sure why it's this bad lol.

@lunterfans Continuing this conversation here because the other post was getting kind of long.

I seriously cant get over how they thought it was a good idea for the kids to waste their time asking for help against a literal god-being that moved THE FUCKING MOON out of the way just by pointing at it and moving their finger to the right... and splatted Belos against the wall with little effort. Like??? It is legitimately crazy to me. Who thought this was a good idea.

The school shit exists specifically for Huntlow... its absolutely insane. By the way I have no fucking idea why they would even bother forcing these two together. Both of them could have remained single. Their romance makes no sense because in every "Huntlow" episode it's just Hunter showing interest in Willow and never the other way around. Its literally not until FTF that she shows interest in him and even then she doesnt confess to him. Which begs the question of why they didnt just make them a couple at the beginning of TTT during the montage. And dedicate all of Luz's scenes in TTT to Willow. I DO NOT fucking get what was going on in their heads while writing season 3.

But yeah... homewrecker Hunter is so real... not even taking away Hunter's blush in Hunting Palismen can deter his homewrecking ways.

Like one joke me and a friend have is that he doesn't ask Willow out in TTT or FTF is because he can't get over Luz.

But yeah, this little man has no chill in Eclipse Lake. The moment he hears Amity is dating Luz he tries to ruin Amity's whole career. It'll never NOT get a laugh out of me everytime i watch this episode.

[kittydripuwu]

Hey can I request for Bsd Boys headcannon :dazai, chuuya, and akutagawa reacting seeing their s/o flinch after they almost snapped out of anger at them (s/o can be gender neutral or female)

hihi! hope this is okay <3 enjoy!

dazai, chuuya and akutagawa (+fyodor) seeing their s/o flinch hcs

words - 962

warnings - swearing

genre - angsty fluff hcs

note - yes ik fyodor wasn't requested but i felt like adding him

dazai osamu

- argument stems probably from you hanging out with chuuya or someone really pissing him off

- very manipulative during arguments, will almost never be reasonable whether its something you did or not

- dazai's not one to show much emotion in the first place so he wouldn't really show you how mad he actually is

- but eventually he will go off if he lingers on it for too long

- will start off by talking with an angry tone but eventually will escalate to yelling

- this will scare you and make you flinch considering that you've never really seen him this mad

- will see you flinch and instantly stop yelling at you

- realises that hes gone too far instantly

- he'll apologise calmly and forget whatever he was angry about in the first place because man like he scared of losing you

- you are like EVERYTHING to him like u are his reason to live so please just forgive this man hes trying his best to be a better person

- will keep apologizing until he feels you've finally forgiven him (even tho u did when he first apologised)

- makes it up to you by cuddles or stargazing with him ( please i see dazai as the type of person to just stargaze for hours like idk why but it makes sense to me??)

- he'll hold you close and tell you sweet lil things like "i love you" "you know i would never hurt you"

- WILL make u promise to never leave him because man this got hiM SCARED like hes fucking scared of people just leaving him when he gets too close

- so please, reassure him that this was nothing to you and that it's okay, it was just a small argument (even tho it wasnt that small)

- but ya overall expect good cuddles and hugs after, as an apology

- and kisses like everywhere

chuuya nakahara

- oh boy

- we know this man has some anger issues

- idk what he would possibly get mad about but tbh it probably wouldnt be anything related to you

- will probably start ranting about someone that made him mad at work or overall just something really small that pissed him off

- very short tempered (haha short)

- you let him yell for a good while because you know he needs to let some sort of anger out

- but it will get scary shortly after he starts he kinda just goes nuts

- no self control when hes angry

- he wont even realise the look on ur face

- ur scared, admit it

- he may be short but hes SCARY when mad

- anyways

- when he sees you flinch  tho, dead silence in the room

- he goes QUIET which is rare for chuuya yes

- the one thing hes very afraid of is hurting you, he would never want to hurt you in anyway

- will give you the biggest hug

- tells you he loves you and hes sorry

- reassures you that he would never wanna hurt you or make you scared of him

- pls he loves you so much

- wont let go of you for the REST OF THE NIGHT

- he needs to make sure you know that you're safe in his arms

akutagawa ryunosuke

- um this boy is just ANGRY always

- would probably get mad cause of atsushi being praised by dazai

- "why him"

- please hes been through so much oh my god this man

- dazai wtf how could u hurt this poor boi

- ANYWAYS

- yeah he'll be really fucking heated and just fucking yell and threaten to kill anyone around him (if theres anyone else there apart from you)

- bye this is awful but i feel like he would accidentally activate his rashomoun and break something -

- so ya when he sees you flinch for the first time, i feel like he wouldn't really thing anything of it until he sees you do it again a couple of times

- he'll stop yelling and talking in general

- he wouldn't really know what to say or do tbh

- but will apologise

- will get sad cause he didn't wanna make u scared of him

- like yes he wants people to fear him but hello?? not you omg ur special to him <3

- will probably walk away for like an hour and keep to himself until he's ready to properly apologise to you

- will then give you a hug and let you sleep in his arms

- i dont see aku as being very physically affectionate but yeah dw you'll get ur well deserved cuddles <3

fyodor dostoevsky

- tbh i wouldnt put it past nikolai to piss him off LMAO like he would fully annoy him SO much

- but its okay cuz we love niko <3

- sorry but i cannot see this man yelling

- hes just so calm?

- and collected?

- how -

- anyways

- so hard to read like you have no clue what hes thinking like EVER?

- but you can tell hes mad when his eyes go all dark and he talks like SUPER calmly with 0 emotion in his voice

- he'll scare you

- i mean who wouldn't be scared of him

- you'd probably flinch from just the way he talks so fucking CALMLY

- like how? is? he? so? calm? yet? angry?

- oh boy he would def feel bad for going all scary on you

- "im sorry, milaya" (darling)

- he would say that so calmly aswell-

- would give you a forehead kiss and light hug and go to his lil work room for like 3 hours

- you will not see him until its time to sleep where he'll cuddle you and apologise again

- "i would never want to scare my little myshka" (mouse) he would say that to you as you fall asleep

- will give u so many forehead kisses PLZ

[anne-i-write]

moriarty the patriot headcannons pt. 1

| requested by anon: Can you write about all male characters in moriarty has a same look of their  children and hpw many children they want? |

william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader; sebastian x reader; fred x reader

word count: 2397

pt. 2: 221b boys

a/n: I DONT KNOW WHY I DIDNT WRITE THIS EARLIER IM SO SORRY THIS REQUEST HAS LITERALLY BEEN IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG I AM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS

william: 487 words

with his whole plan to clean the world of the filthy nobles, william never really stopped to think about having children

well, until he met you

you both were in town one day and he saw you fondly watching a child speak with her mother

“i think two children would be nice”

“i didn’t even ask”

“i know, but the look you gave that mother was telling enough”

n e ways he is a simp and he did eventually give you what you wanted

fast forward a few years, you have two children: a boy and a girl

and they look exactly like their father

like,, it lowkey pains you how much they physically take after their father

you wanted to be like “oh they have your personality, but they look just like me!”

no

granted, your son took after you in an emotional sense but your daughter was a daddy’s girl through and through

like she looks like him, she acts like him, speaks like him, she even EATS like him

ok but the men w your children

fred is a freaking sweetheart ok

like he’ll watch over the kids when no one has the time and they love him too so they’ll help out in the garden which you are SO thankful for

tbh they only like uncle albert bc he brings them lil trinkets from when he gets back from london LMAO

louis doesn’t show it, but he absolutely adores your children and makes extra snacks for them at tea time

you caught onto this at one point bc for some REASON your kids would not stop bouncing off of the walls before bed and they told you uncle louis gave them chocolate

and sebastian loves messing w your kids bc,,, sebastian

but he accidentally made your son cry ONCE and he was at the mercy of every adult in the moriarty estate including the boy’s younger sister

needless to say, he watched his actions and words around your children after that

now, william

i’m just gonna say this straight out: most of the men never really thought about having kids (save john and albert)

but when you finally had kids, william had a different outlook on life

like fr,, this man works overtime now trying to get rid of the filth that is called nobles

he doesn’t want his kids to be raised in a world where just because you have more money than another means you get to look down on them

you still instill in them those good morals ofc

he also tries to be very present in their lives since he and his brother were raised as orphans

when he was younger, he didn’t mind it all much

but now that he had this small family and a brighter future, he did everything in his power to make sure they’re happy and grow up in a cleaner and kinder world

louis: 320 words

it took you a week to get him to at LEAST humor you

“if you could, how many kids do you want?”

“none”

like, this guy is so dedicated to his brother and his cause it is a WONDER you somehow wormed your way into his heart

but you did and honestly, the brothers are actually very happy that you’re with them

william especially

louis rarely emotes but when you came into their lives, you got louis pissed at one point and everyone was like,,,, wtf?? he has emotions???

anyways, his answer is one kid LMAO

and when you get that one kid, he looks just like louis

yall already KNOW that he’s ready to die for that child as soon as louis holds him in his arms

the only kid sebastian wouldnt even try to mess with

he can deal with william’s albert’s or fred’s kids but louis lowkey intimidates him so he’s as nice as he can be

that being said, louis teaches his kid how to properly handle stuff around the house

you want to cry bc ur son is just so??? the little kid just loves helping out no matter how small the task and he’s just so cute it hurts

even sebastian’s kinda like,, “aight he’s the only kid i will tolerate”

louis grew up with only his brothers so he also wants to give his son a shot at a normal family

is actually aware at how he thinks he’s indispensable for william’s cause and he doesn’t want his son to end up like him

he also teaches his son some badass fighting moves

oh and louis smiles a lot more too

cried bc his son saw the scar he got on his cheek, rubbed some dirt on his lil face and said “i have daddy’s cool scar now”

all in all his son is the best thing to happen to all of you

albert: 505 words

same as louis in the fact that it takes him a week to answer

“you know you haven’t even answered my question”

“i’m sorry, what did you say?”

“how many kids do you want?”

genuinely takes time to ponder that question

he hadn’t thought of that since his family adopted william and louis

but with you?

“i think two darling girls who take after their mother is enough for me”

pls he’d be so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

you two end up having a girl and a boy, who look just like their father

and tbh, you’re not even mad

you love them so much so when albert comes back north, the three of you are ecstatic

the happiness was short lived for albert tho

he found his son spending time with william and there’s nothing bad right????

“where’s your sister?”

“she’s with mr. moran”

his heart DROPPED

out of all the people in the manor

HIM

he sees the two running around the garden

it all happened as soon as albert’s daughter went up to sebastian and said “you’re very pretty! you’re my knight now!”

he decided to “adopt” the little girl and now he’s lowkey whipped

you found albert staring at sebastian playing with his daughter and updated him about everything going on

“but him??”

“he’s just a big softie for her let it go”

isn’t really surprised when he finds out they can fight a little

actually glad that they can hold their own, God forbid anything happens to them

otherwise mi6 has to deal w family matters lmao

“albert, she only tripped”

“you shouldve seen the fear in her eyes as she fell”

“IT WAS A STRAY COBBLESTONE”

would raise hell if anyone even THOUGHT ill of his kids

william and louis are the doting uncles

william more so than louis bc your kids have never seen louis smile

now they’re on a mission to make uncle louis smile

louis was on child duty one day and they managed to slip away

omyGOD he was stressed but also,, extremely worried

so when he found them he had the most genuine smile on his face

your daughter was like (・∀・)

she loves uncle louis

ofc your son adores his dad like,,, who else wouldn't feel awesome at the age of 10 if you found out your dad was a high ranking general

feels superior to sebastian bc of his dad

lmao this 4’5 kid thinks he can rule sebastian for some odd reason

the house is always dirty bc him and sebastian always prank each other

your daughter is trying to catch a butterfly but she can’t so fred helps

instantly loves fred

“is that what heartbreak is”

“i guess that’s what happens when you try to get close to my kids colonel”

albert is kind of afraid of turning into his dad but he has you and everyone else to remind him that: no you are not your father, you are so much better than him

loves your family with his entire being

sebastian: 844 words

“i see you looking at those kids and the answer is none”

lmao you’ll get so pouty around him bc you want kids dammit

that and he spoils you to no end so that's why you’re pouty lol

“fine we’ll only do one kid and bc one kid is all i can tolerate”

bruh

this man gives you three in four years LMFAO

two boys a year apart and a girl in the fourth year

you wanted to smack sebastian

when the two boys grew up, it was obvious they were already taking after their father in the physical sense

it was terrifying

they genuinely look like mini sebastians and you know everyone in the manor is afraid that you two birthed satan

and the satan was your eldest one

he’s just a feral sebastian moran in a tiny body

your second son, god bless him, looked just like his father but with fred’s temperament

and see, you were fine with your sons looking like their father

it was FINE right

you prayed to God that your third child would have at least some physical resemblance to you

your daughter was birthed, she grew up

and you cried

“HOW DO THEY ALL LOOK LIKE YOU”

“i’ve got some strong genetics, baby”

you sulk for a lil bit

but you accept it anyway because you love your goddamn kids

thankfully, your second and youngest child are both soft spoken and it's only your husband and his tiny clone bringing hell to earth

smacking sebastian bc all of your children suddenly started swearing up a storm at each other

“WHYD YOU HIT ME”

“YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO SWEARS AROUND THE KIDS”

finally sitting down and trying to convince them to stop swearing

“father does it!”

“your father’s stupid”

speaking of your daughter

she’s his little princess and no he will not take criticism

spoils her more than he spoils you

did she glance at a toy at a passing store?

he buys more toys than he should from said store

you have to physically hide some of his money bc there is only so much you can buy

and her older brothers are so caring you want to sob

if a person accidentally shoved her over bc she was tiny and they couldn’t see her

oh boy

get ready to restrain them like chihuahuas

“little sister will be protected at all costs”

since his second son is so different from him, sebastian actively makes time to talk about what the little boy is doing and what he’s getting from it

doesn’t want to be pushy and suffocating like his dad was so when his younger kid does want to be left alone to his devices, sebastian does so

but honestly loves that your second son is so literate

lddhsajdsfk what yall dont know is that they’re all in cahoots

kinda funny to see them all together bc they all take after their father so much it's like having three tiny sebastians go around town

anyways,,,, yall know the promised neverland right

you got ray, norman, and emma

granted one of them wasn’t as smart as ray but he definitely knew what stealth was

regular sibling rivalry was still a thing but if they could smell the pudding from the kitchen, they know they have to work together

sebastian caught his eldest smuggling biscuits into a small bag

he had half a mind to scold him

but then he ended up giving tips TO ALL HIS CHILDREN on how not to get caught next time—

bc of this they beg him to tell them some stories from afghanistan bc “there’s no way a man as old as dad knows this many stealth tactics”

louis is so fed up lmao

albert is in london most of the time so he just thanks the lord that he doesn’t have to deal w the propaganda that sebastian feeds his children about how “mr. albert is a bad man”

william is fine w it as long as they don’t trash the library

your younger ones love the library so they would cry at the thought of one of the books losing any of the pages

your second and your daughter are definitely the moriartys’ favorites

they don’t show it, but you just KNOW

your eldest could care less about that though

as long as you and his father still love him

and of course you both do

and fred is definitely your youngers favorite

they like to hang out in the garden

ok they still fight all the time though

just because your second child is soft spoken doesn't mean he’s afraid to throw hands

their sister likes to join in for the hell of it

but if someone wrongs any of the children

just because the younger ones are the moriartys’ favorite, doesn’t mean that they’re not gonna hunt someone down if they even think about trying to hurt the eldest too

yeah,,, good luck to them and their families

they got the entire moriarty estate coming after them

fred: 241 words

cmon yall are like,, young

but you did ask him bc you were curious if he thought about it

he wants one

and when yall do have the kid, you guys actually do have one kid and its a girl

since you both are young, you can immediately see a resemblance between her and her father

everyone who meets her would die for her

ABSOLUTE CUTIE

especially when she walks around the garden w her hand in her dad’s and he’s showing her all the plants and telling her how to take care of them

needless to say she grows up loving plants

any type of plant

the boys love giving her flowers or anything from bc she has the biggest smile every single time

no matter if it’s just a single rose or a rock

this was found out one time when sebastian gave her a rock bc everyone else had given her like,, two roses each

was afraid she was gonna cry

“thank you so much mr. moran! i will treasure this until i get old!”

she was like 4 at the time

and had the widest smile you’ve ever seen on her

guys u don’t understand she smiles a lot but this was like,, genuine happiness

but everyone was just,, i will destroy the world and myself if anything happens to her

fr it’s just sunshines and rainbows every single time she’s around

everyone just loves her ok

moriarty the patriot general taglist: @zoehanji

[omegawolverine]

👀 mcc discourse? /gen

okay mcc discourse time everyone strap in

the three things i see people being pissed about most often are the lack of lgbt+ people in the event, the specific lgbt+ creators playing and, of course, technoblade being involved. so, let's break down why all three of these things are fucking dumb.

1) "there isnt enough lgbt+ creators".

this would be a fair argument that i could get behind...if not for the way mcc is set up for this specific event—and by that i mean it is a youtube sponsored event. the ccs involved need to have platforms on youtube to be able to participate to begin with, as it is a charity event. mcc doesn't have a lot of lgbt+ streamers involved this time around because a lot of those streamers straight up could not stream this event and scott literally said this himself.

on top of that, this isnt a "get invited and you can play!" event, it is a "you need to apply to be involved" event, meaning, if people dont meet the deadline, or they dont apply at fucking all, they cant play. that's not on fucking scott or anyone organizing mcc, that is on the ccs (if they even wanna be involved, i could not blame them for avoiding mcc after last times mess) who didnt apply in time/at all.

2) "there isnt enough diversity in the lgbt+ streamers" aka "im erasing people's identities and, again, disregarding the literal qualifications for this mcc which include having a youtube platform"

i keep seeing people bring up how every lgbt+ person in mcc is white and able bodied and neurotypical etc etc (which is an inaccurate statement anyways) as reasons why they "arent good enough" or they're bringing up how there "isnt any of [x] sexuality/gender involved" as if that's the organizers faults and i uh. i hate to break it to yall but, again, this is an apply to get in event. if these ccs that were "more diverse" (bc why the fuck are we referring to these ccs playing in fucking minecraft championship as some weird ass diversity characters instead of real life people who are more than their race, disability, etc.) met the requirements and were lgbt+ but just didnt apply, while a lot of other white, cis, neurotypical, able bodied, whatever the fuck else, did? yeah. nobody can change that. scott didnt just pick and chose who gets to play, there are literal rules for this event and also applications that are involved like?? hello????? and obviously i would love to see some more lgbt+ creators from different backgrounds with different identities in the cast, that would be awesome, but that is ultimately not up to the organizers. they cant force people to play. they cant skip people in the waiting lists. they can't have people who cant stream be involved in this mcc as their first event, both because it would be sad for them not to stream their first mcc and because it is a literal charity event.

and, to make things worse, a lot of people are saying there "isnt any trans people this mcc" which is just. a blatant lie. eret isnt cis and sqiashey is genderfluid, yall just dont like eret so you decide to refer to her as a "cis man" constantly, which is transphobic, and yall also dont know sqiashey so instead of doing research, you started running ur mouths and then didn't apologize when you got called on it.

like. even if eret was truly problematic, which i dont believe they are as they have apologized for every little mistake theyve made and dealt with the backlash from entitled little privileged teenagers online all while not complaining even the slightest bit, that still doesnt give you a right to misgender them and erase their identity as a non cis person entirely because you're mad over a fucking minecraft event like??? how fucking privileged you must be that this is what gets you heated. not any actual homophobia or transphobia, but apparently "lgbt+ people in minecraft not being diverse enough". choke.

3) "technoblade is a lesphobe, why is he in mcc"

tw on this section: i discuss my expierences with homophobia as an afab nblw briefly and reclaim the d slur (if you wanna read this section and avoid the homophobia discussion and/or d slur, skip from "as someone who is nblw" to "techno making a shitty joke").

all of techno's lesphobic comments are from 5+ years ago and were, at worst, jokes in poor taste. as someone who is nblw, i have had men follow me and my friend around and call us dykes for holding hands in a museum, i have had my family members harrass me for my sexuality and casually talk about how im gross and wrong for liking girls and i have been punished by literal teachers for showing "too much pda" with my past girlfriends despite the fact that ive never even kissed someone on campus before, just held hands and hugged. techno making some shitty jokes when he was a teenager years ago, while also having a plethora of examples of him being an lgbt+ ally, which does include lesbians, should not be treated the same way as literal bigots calling queer people slurs. and if you think it should be, you have had it fucking lucky.

yes, it is valid to be upset over these jokes, they're fucking weird and he shouldnt have made them, but to treat it with the exact same seriousness as a grown ass adult showing blatant homophobia in current times? no. fuck no.

extra notes bc there's some minor discourse points i left out: no, dream team shouldnt get to be involved in this event over other cishet ccs involved just because they have bigger platforms because this quite literally isnt about them, it's about lgbt+ people and they just didnt happen to get in. shut the fuck up. stop mentioning ant and velvet as people who shouldve been involved, they're quite literally together rn doing little daytrips and shit and they most likely dont wanna spend their time together playing fucking minecraft. also, stop saying techno should be replaced with ranboo (or anyone for that matter), it breaks ranboo's fucking boundaries and him donating 100k to the trevor project doesnt suddenly mean he gets to skip the mcc waiting list.

in conclusion: twitter stop whining over pride mcc, your privilege is showing.

(tagging @tauntwenthome bc you said you wanted to hear as well <3)