#anyone can reblog this if they want btw
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Digital Circus AMA Notes
Digital Circus is getting a season 1 at some point!!!!
#webcore aesthetic board for the series design
Pomni was going to be a frog originally. 🐸
90s toys Zooble inspo
Caine is an antagonist, but not by active choice, he doesn't know he's not helping. He doesn't feel a whole spectrum of human emotions (he's an AI).
"Caine canonically just lets things happen if he thinks it's funny."
Characters eat like Chao in Chao garden in Sonic. The characters can eat the food, but they can't digest it.
Jax's favorite food is spaghetti.
Pomni likes salmon.
Q "Was the ending a 'Last Supper' reference?" A "in a very superficial kinda way yeah." Religious stuff is sometimes just used for the funny.
Gooseworx tumblr sketches MAY or MAY NOT be canon to the series, so it's up in the air for every single one.
People can abstract from feeling too much pain if it breaks their mind from it being too much. Characters feel pain from things, but not as intensely as they would in real life.
Zooble is gonna swap parts every episode (implying they have spare parts) except their body & head.
Jax chose his own name & gooseworx likes to think he chose Gangle's name.
Ragatha was named "Emmy" originally.
They (the cast of characters trapped in the circus) can't change their clothes but Caine can. It's part of their skin sorta kinda.
There's empty space under Pomni's hat because video game model physics.
Spamton was partially inspo for Caine, Caine's VA did Spamton dubs.
Gangle only has 2 masks. Why's it (her hapiness mask) break all the time? Mental state, but the "real her" is "harder to break."
Kaumfo was gonna be part of the main cast originally before Jax.
Kaufmo's model has nothing below the waist at this time, but was made for that promotional image on twitter.
Q "What kinda person was Kaufmo?" A "He was the same as Ragatha in a sense, goofy & cheery, sometimes toxic levels of positivity."
I'm paraphrasing for the sake of note taking in real time, go watch the stream playback for more context & details if you want.
#these are all from GLITCHX 2023 on the glitch productions youtube channel btw#for anyone curious as to where I got the screenshots & details#theory crafters pop off with this#someone else can reblog this with time stamps if you want I'm pretty tired#I'm not going back through that stream right now; I'm sure someone else will put timestamps in the comments maybe#but yeah consider the amazing digital circus officially greenlit for a first season I guess! :D#tadc season 1 eventually baybeee!!#I'm hyped! I wonder if the pilot will remain canon into season 1 or if we'll get a new introduction into the series.#Wonder why Jax called Gangle... well Gangle 👀 maybe he just thought it sounded silly or something i'm curious as to what gooseworx thought#Caine's AI really thought Pomni running around looking for him & Kaufmo abstracted in his room was funny 😐 or his AI is glitchy#(we saw him glitching out already in the pilot) alternatively I think Bubble could be distracting Caine on purpose but idk just yet#imagine how much pain Ragatha was in since they can all actually feel that though like being body slammed & thrown against walls & stuff 😬#also excited to see some Gangle-centric content in the future based on that comment about the 'real her' 👀#Kaufmo would probably make jokes at really dark moments when it wasn't appropriate because that was a coping mechanism for him poor guy 😭#mine#op#the amazing digital circus#tadc
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On Caesar fanfiction works (AO3)
I'm a girl in stem* btw.
The fanfictions included had to meet the following criteria: (1) have Caesar Flickerman as a character tag, (2) mention Caesar in the summary, (3) have Caesar in the tag word cloud as a significant word mention. I have excluded works when they were only interview works not from his point of view, as these usually were about the tribute in question and simply appeared in the initial data gathering as they were oneshots. But no insight exists on Caesar. I've kept works that are mainly interviews but from Caesar's perspective and thus offer insight into him as a character.
The only fanfiction that does not meet this criteria but was included is FernWithy's House of Cards due to being such a significant fanfiction for Caesar.
I've also counted the average words and type of work for Caesar. For this, I only included 21 of 27 works, as some of the included works feature Caesar a lot, but still only as a side character—two are Peeta POV's during Mockingjay. These are usually outliers, too, as the average Caesar work is a oneshot (90%) with only two works not being oneshots—mine and Viola25's multi-chapter story where, granted, only one is about Caesar. On average, a Caesar work has 2,715 words, with the longest being 8,585 words and the shortest 100 words.
In comparison, some of these where he features as a side character are in the five figures with Shaylinne's Fifth Intermission at 80,128 being the longest and more likely to be multi-chapter works (3 out of 6). These POVs are OCs (3 - 2 being his lovers, 1 being a Capitol character), Peeta in MJ (2), and Finnick (1). The Capitol character (Shaylinne), and both Peeta fanfictions (FernWithy and lyrical_echoes) are the multi-chapter works.
*I like to do Google sheet graphs
#thg#the hunger games#caesar flickerman#idk who i did this for ngl. i just love acquiring data (i‘m google)#but i was curious and wanted to check! if anyone is interested#i can share the fanfictions in a reblog? idk this was just my hyperfocus today haha#SSLWR doesn't meet the criteria btw as it doesn’t include Caesar's name in the tags + tiny word cloud
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#bloodborne#not exaggerating when i say that even wearing PANTS was seen as an exclusively masc thing btw#there are Multiple cases of women literally PASSING AS DUDES by wearing pants. IN THE ARMY NO LESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#this one lady who wore pants to farm was seen so outlandish it warranted public backlash#women were arrested for wearing pants and button-down shirts as recently as THE SIXTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i could go more into maria's outfit as a whole but the pants ALONE make her canonically masc By Definition in the historical context :)#if ur abt to be fucking stupid on this post im Just going to block u btw#having said that if anyone DOES have normal responses or questions i really love history and i have a lot of resources#comment/reblog/inbox/dm are all fair game <333#in case anyone was curious what my inbox looked like after making that post#most of these are direct quotes :) its just silly to me#like holy [citation needed]#if u want to know more!!!!#i love her so much and im really tired of (overwhelmingly cis) people literally being so insecure in their own gender#that they just start reinventing gender roles in my inbox!!!!!#and everywhere else they can get their hands on#i think some of yall need to realize that uhhhhhhh#butch lesbians seeing maria as a butch lesbian is not fucking '''''''tokenism'''''''''''' or whatever#that is Literally Not What That Word Means#but it may be worth examining why you are so upset by it?#or barring that........have some genuine curiosity about the history of gender.......because its really cool to research imo
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Was originally gonna send this as an ask to @skyclan-funny-name-squad but then I ended up ranting too long and decided to make my own post. Have fun with this idea, anyone who sees it.
#warriors au#warrior cats au#warrior cats#warriors#wc#wc au#warriors erin hunter#erin hunter warriors#❦eldritch warriors au🥜#that's the tag™#love this#←bookmark for myself to remember to return to this au#btw if anyone wants to reblog an add onto this#please do I'd love to brainstorm with someone#also you can make fics#idc it's just a word-vomit idea
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yall aint gonna believe this. LOOK WHAT I JUST BOUGHT
#im fucking shitting my pants over here#HORIZONS MERCH#AND ITS OF MY TWO FAVES#GOODBYE. IM HAPPY FOREVER#FORVER SILLY GOING HEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEE#i checked and theres nothing for the redt of the cast as far as i can tell…#BUT STILL AMETHIO??? LIKO Makes Sense shes yhe Protag.#BUT AME??? MY OTHER FAVE#NOT COMPLAINING AT ALL#yeah he’s gonna become a good guy guys watch (coping w lack of ame content)#anyways. SORRY IM FREAKING OUT IM SO HAPPY IM GONNA HAVE MY GUYS ON A T SHIRT#full credit goes to @/the-spam-specialist btw#i would have never seen this if it werent for your post so if you see this THANK YOUUU#they have the link on a reblog of their post#but if anyone sees this and also wants one ill send it your way or put it in the comments of yhis post or something idk#anyways bye peace and live and joy happiness forever#shark speaks
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i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal
#''poor teachers!!'' yeah well at least they can fucking quit & go work somewhere else#''okay but times are different than when you went to school in the 1970's'' this was 2016 my guy. shut the fuck up#''well maybe you were a violent & severely misbehaving kid!'' i wasn't. i have ADHD & severe anxiety disorder & depression#my biggest crime was being too exhausted & dopamine deprived to do my homework#my dad talks about how he was treated in school & i'm like damn dude i went through the same exact shit#how is it that a majority of teachers & principals are still abusive power-tripping pieces of shit 60 years later#why haven't things changed#well actually the answer is simple & it's because they want disabled people to disappear#& if abled students that simply disagree with the way things are done get caught in the crossfire then that is acceptable#because anyone not fit to make billionaires a billion more dollars should just die!#anyways here are my original tags from that gravity falls post i just reblogged:#I know this is supposed to be an appreciation post but like. ''for being the ''dumb one'' he's surprisingly rational.'' seriously??#as ''the dumb'' but ''surprisingly rational'' one of my family this is THEE biggest misunderstanding & it drives me up the fucking wall#just because a person struggles in one area doesn't mean they're stupid & should be an irrational dumb dumb idiot baby holy fuckkk#sorry to OP but even when people try to ''appreciate'' stuff like this they can't help but throw in insults#simply because they genuinely believe that ''even though you're stupid you SURPRISINGLY act competent sometimes'' is a compliment#I'm less mad about this & more sad that this kind of shit is still so prevalent in 2024#both Stanley & Stanford are smart & competent & rational#they just show it in different ways & exceed in different (sometimes overlapping) subjects#this is normal for human beings but the big societal scam is that if you don't do it in the way Ford does then you're stupid & a failure#& being surprised that Stan is also smart & competent in his own ways is the biggest sing that you fucking fell for it dude#btw before i get @ ed for this. i WAS that kid#i was so much that kid the school actually diagnosed me with stupid & spiteful & i was told to quit while i was ahead (they failed me befor#obviously this is very personal for me but also i don't think people realize the language they use is on purpose & it's used specifically t#& it's still happening right now & that just. makes me wanna cry honestly#like why are people still surprised that people can specialize in something despite bad grades in school#you know. the thing we all know is literally rigged to either put you in jail or in a factory to make billionaires more money.#man sorry for the rant the original spirit of the post is super correct but like fuck HS grade-centric judging of people's entire character#Stan being able to defeat Bill is just not at all surprising if you were him or knew/know someone like him#or really paid any attention at all to the show while watching it
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Are you aware that I'm-a-gay-fish and Zu ship dr//m/are ?/genq
okay so it took me a while to answer this but i finally found the words to so here goes; yeah i do know, and i totally understand if you don't ship it, neither do i, but there's nothing i can do about it?
they're allowed, so long as they don't harm people, to do whatever they want on their own platforms. and before you ask me if i support *ncest, would you actually ask someone if they support toxic relationships and murder whenever they ship two unhealthy killers with mental problems? because that's funnily enough what most people do around here! you can say it's not the same, and that they're romanticizing it, but i can personally detach myself from fiction enough to realize that while this concept depicted in their art shouldn't be recreated in real life, that doesn't mean they actually engage or support people that do that irl- they asked zu the same question so many times, and frog doesn't either and i've known gayfish for three years! you're well within your right to stop associating with them or distance yourself from their content but i myself won't.
i know fiction affects reality to a degree, don't twist my words please, but if you're too young to consume that kind of content with a nuanced perspective or is triggered/affected by it then as long as they tag their content properly then you can unfollow, block and move on. i have a habit of following and reblogging people's works before looking at their bios and before i know it find myself having to choose between two sides i don't belong to and i frankly don't want to! anti this or proship that- in this online era you have to adapt by keeping your cool and curating your own online experience and viewing people in black and whites is stressful, painful and dangerous for everyone involved. i don't even reblog the content you probably have a problem with, and i'm honestly still scared of the response i'll get-
i will not blame or hate whoever unfollows or blocks me for this, it's to be expected, but please don't think about it like some bad vs good guys dilemma? sometimes thought provoking morally grey ambiguous stories with messed up characters spark more positive discussion and healing than people looking into it because they suffer from the same delusions and want a justification-
like realistically, in my blog, most ppl here are basically shipping two literal skeletons with magic in their bones who are sometimes almost the exact copy of one another, and who theoretically have a very similar dna, and sometimes they make shipkids, which, if you know anything about *ncest, is one of the main reasons why you shouldn't bang your siblings - mostly from a moral standpoint because that's so gross i can't even think of it, but also because any offspring would suffer greatly from physical and mental diseases hidden in their genetic code- like. you could argue it's not the same but it's sancest for a reason. and even when they're widely different sanses, you wouldn't think fell x sans is wrong (at least in this specific community) but really we've all just gotten numb to how weird that sounds. trust me, there's a reason we don't talk about our ships to outsiders HHH
TL,DR: so while i greatly encourage you to block people and content you don't want to see/associate with, including me! i hope i made it clear why i, personally, don't care about dreammare and whoever ships it.
#thank you to anyone who made it this far and gave me a chance to voice my opinion :')#sorry this is long but i want to make it as precise and close as many holes as i can with my arguments before i receive an ask about it#it's fine if you do btw i wanna clear any doubts and i know for a fact a loot of you will either leave or be conflicted and trust me i know#it's the whole reason why i was avoiding this conversation! i kept on hoping everyone was on the same page but we're not and that's okay#truthfully i can only hope that the people who'll leave this blog after this take the opportunity to question the fics and media they like#-in the future. don't force yourself to enjoy something you don't but nothing is as cut to the point as 'this is gross stop talking'#for the record you won't see me reblog any dreammare or anything about it because i don't even like them like that so why would i HHH#also i'm sorry but zu is quite frankly the sweetest person i've ever met and frog has been supporting ME for as long as i can remember!!#they're such a big part of this blog and the reason for it's existence so i'll choose them and my principles over faking a view i don't hav#have an amazing day everyone and thanks again for passing by muah muah :'D <333
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Fr post like "I can't believe people aren't talking about this " are so annoying
i come on tumblr to relax. it's literally in my name. sometimes, i don't want to put posts on my blog that don't vibe with me- either because they're distressing or because they just aren't something i'm interesting in archiving for myself. but sometimes i do! and it's nobody's business either way because how i choose to spend my time on the internet and how i choose to run my blog is not anyone's business but mine, actually.
if you literally never reblog anything, and you just use tumblr as a lurker, you're valid. everyone has their preferred ways to hang out on this site.
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Sorry I won't shut up but another idea that I had for Wizard101, and it's more of a fun little cutesy thing rather than an actual important lore expansion thing or a useful new feature thing, is that I just REAAALLY wish that the different magic schools had more interesting and unique traits that corresponded with The Wizard's own school
Like, instead of just "different schools have different spells", wouldn't it be super fucking awesome if your wizard had little quirks and different abilities depending on what school you were in? Like in my personal headcanon, your wizard's primary school typically is the school that your own soul resonates with the most (explaining power pips and how they're more effective and powerful with your own school magic vs. your secondary magic), and your secondary magic is the school that the wizard chooses for themselves if they want to study more than just the magic track they naturally fit into.
Like isn't that interesting???? Remember before you even get to play the game, there's that book that decides which school you get into and the different traits each magic school had??? Remember how Diviners are naturally just excel at building and inventing shit? You remember that????? I sure as shit don't remember what the hell the other schools do!!!!
I wish the game just promoted that more. Even if it doesn't really affect the plot or how characters interact with you, it would be really cool if it was acknowledged more than once how each school is special in its own unique way, y'know other than the generic "diviners fizzle too much" or "pyromancers do damage over time" like that shit is so boring. Give me more interesting things to experience with my wizard. I want Life wizards to have fucking sprouts growing out of their thumbs or smth idc. Fuck it, let's have Balance wizards be extremely flexible and have a good sense of direction or some weird shit like that. Why not have Myth wizards being the only people that can make furniture talk to you. Like I literally don't care how weird it is, I'm so tired of the spell casting noises being the only cool and interesting factor that makes each school different in an imaginative way
#ive been seeing posts around like 'these wizards should be able to see these things while others cant'#AND I LOVE THAT SHIT#im gonna reblog those so you can see#also just like send me an ask about your wizard school headcanons if you want i will eat that shit up#i even have my own if anyone cares or wants to see#eh whatever ill post it anyway LOL im bursting with creativity#also btw im not like actually mad or anything LMAO i just really wish this were a thing#wizard101#w101
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accidentally snipped my own hand with scissors just now and went, "what am i, 8?" so of course i'm thinking about the short story "eleven" by sandra cisneros. we are every age that we've ever been and it's always possible to feel what you felt before, like "wow, that was a silly way to try and cut that fabric. hopefully i wont do that again." but you will. if not exactly like that, then something similar. because, yes life is about learning, but it's not as linear or simple as that. you will cry like you're three and you will whine like you're 13 and you'll complain about backaches like you're 45 no matter how old or young you are. it's all within you, even the stuff that isn't technically you /yet/. it's all within you
#words words words#.txt#hi. i cut myself with scissors on accident. it was so silly. like for real maria? u put your own hand in the path of the blade while cuttin#a circle. how could you forget this#it also reminds me of the time i stapled a staple into my thumb three (3!) times in a row. i was like 14 maybe and i was trying to replace#the staples in a stapler probably for one of the first times by myself#and even though i'd already pulled the staple out of my thumb and washed the blood off twice#i went back in a third time and forgot that if you put your thumb on that spot trying to close the stapler after the new staples are in#you're going to staple your thumb trying to close it#you'll never believe what happened next#life is so silly#anyway#if you havent read it before. please please please look up ''eleven'' by sandra cisneros#it's incredibly short and incredibly powerful#i read it in the fifth grade in english/writing class and it has stuck with me ever since#sanda cisneros#maria is literally just rambling. hi#and as always: yes u can reblog. yes u can do additions and whatever you'd like. if im posting it it's interactable if u want to do that!#mwah friends#personal#btw cas is in my lap as i type this. thought anyone who made it this far reading my tags outa know. kitty cat. in the lap. loaf shape.
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Hi! Do you know any books in English about the Estado Novo Dictatorship and the subsequent 25 Abril Revolution?
Anon you asked this like months ago sorry I'm only answering this now, are you still here.
(Sorted alphabetically)
Estado Novo:
Fado and Fátima: Salazar’s Portugal in US Film Fiction
From the Armed Struggle against the Dictatorship to the Socialist Revolution: The Narrative Restraints to Lethal Violence among Radical Left Organisations in Portugal
Under the Sky (documentary about Jewish refugees in Portugal during WWII, audio is in English but subtitles in Portuguese)
Meeting Salazar: Irish dignitaries and diplomats in Portugal, 1942—1960
Home Bound: The Construct of Femininity in the Estado Novo
Memory of Resistance and the Resistance of Memory: An Analysis of the Construction of Corporatism in the First Years of the Portuguese Estado Novo
NATO's Secret Armies: Operation Gladio and Terrorism in Western Europe (Chapter 9: The secret war in Portugal)
On student movements in the decay of the Estado Novo
Portugal, Jewish Refugees, and the Holocaust
Re-reading the Photographic Archive: The Propagandistic Staging of the Portuguese Estado Novo in the Braga District
Salazar: A Political Biography
Salazar, The Dictator Who Refused To Die
Saloio Women: An Analysis of Informal and Formal Political and Economic Roles of Portuguese Peasant Women
Sixties Radicalism and Social Movement Activism - The War Against The War: Violence And Anticolonialism In The Final Years Of The Estado Novo
Territorializing Maoism: Dictatorship, War, and Anticolonialism in the Portuguese “Long Sixties”
The Memory of the Portuguese First Republic throughout the Twentieth Century
The Opposition to the 'New State' and the British Attitude at the end of the Second World War: Hope and Disillusion
The Portuguese Armed Forces and the Revolution
To Talk or Not to Talk: Silence, Torture, and Politics in the Portuguese Dictatorship of Estado Novo
Women's Organizations and Imperial Ideology under the Estado Novo
Ghosts of war: China’s relations with Portugal in the post-war period, 1945–9*
Wartime Macau: Under the Japanese Shadow*
Colonial War:
Amílcar Cabral's writings in English
Evading the War: Deserters and Draft Evaders from the Portuguese Army during the Colonial War
Killing Hope U.S. Military and CIA Interventions Since World War (Mentions the CIA's role in the Colonial War + subsequent involvements in Africa during their civil wars)
Modern African Wars (2): Angola and Mozambique 1961-74
Portugal’s African Wars: Angola, Guinea-Bissao, Mozambique
Portugal's Guerrilla Wars in Africa
Samora Machel Speaks, Mozambique Speaks
The Retornados from the Portuguese Colonies in Africa
The United States and Portuguese Decolonization
25 de Abril / Carnation Revolution:
Another Country (documentary about the revolution seen first-hand by foreign journalists, available in solidaritycinema)
From the Armed Struggle against the Dictatorship to the Socialist Revolution
Out of the Shadows: Portugal from Revolution to the Present Day
Portugal, the impossible revolution?
Revolução (small video from 1975 with images and speeches from the time)
Scenes from the Class Struggle in Portugal (documentary, quality is a bit bad)
These are all the articles, documentaries and ebooks I have in English, but I have plenty more in Portuguese if anyone wants. Some of these are not *necessarily* what you asked but eh. Do note I haven't read all of these. Let me know if any of the links don't work!
#portugal#25 de april#colonialism#anti colonialism#carnation revolution#anti fascism#history#idk what else to tag it as#not much stuff about estado novo or 25 de abril here#i also have books about timor in english but they are mostly about the indonesia occupation and independence in 2002#not about their first armed struggle against portugal until 1974. but if anyone wants i can link them too#and i have one about macau about the 'negotiations' for the handover but it didn't really fit here so i didn't add it#among other stuff#feel free to reblog and add more stuff btw if you want#long post -#hopefully tumblr won't kill this post because of the links! but i saved it it's fine#m.text
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kicks down door evilly
how would your ocs handle the trolley problem !! whichever ones you feel like answering >:))
MMMMM YES THIS SHALL BE FUN
So Chainsaw would probably breakdown crying. He'd still pull the lever, but he'd be having several mental breakdowns while doing so.
So you know that video of the child taking the one person, putting them with the five, and then running the six over with the train? Yeah, that's how Jevie would handle that.
Tar wouldn't understand what is going on, and even if he did, he'd break the lever.
Rowan would pull the lever back and forth, before deciding. She'd somehow break the entire rail system doing this and send the trolley flying, killing the people inside.
New OC'S TIME
So we got two, Glow (A human with time loop powers, and fire magic), and Abbie (An Ink based-being that takes the form of an elf, but you know, all the colors she has is black and white.)
So Glow would blow up the trolley with her fire magic. She just would.
Abbie would probably take the self sacrifice and immediately regenerating her body because not even a trolley can stop her bullshit come back abilities
also pay for my door it cost at least 1 dollar bro. How will i stop the horrors from getting inside now
#not pikmin#oc questions#I would probably be chainsaw lets be real#having several mental breakdowns sounds nice#oc#mmm thank you lol#Also btw to anyone reading this you can ask other questions not on that thing I reblogged#PLEASE I WANT TO RANT ABOUT MY EMOTIONALLY DAMAGED OC'S#yay
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hi friendly reminder to reblog art and not to just like it bcz it can be really demotivating for the artist sometimes i know its absolutely not the intention but my anxiety takes it as "your art wasnt good enough for them to want to share"
#lev.txt#all of this is /gen /nm btw#this absolutely is not directed at anyone at ALL. /srs#its just me and a friend were having a convo abt the ratios of likes to reblogs on posts#like i have a post with 91 reblogs and *291* likes#and like!! i rlly appreciate the fact that over 300 people liked my stuff!! but ... its when the ratio is -#- that bad it can be pretty demotivating still#i dont want to sound unnapreciative bcz the point isnt that 'ourgh i need MORE attention!! fuck you!!' its that this is tumblr .#theres no algorithm .#likes dont *do* anything but basically bookmark a post
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.
#sigh. another vent post....#almost getting tired of making these but. I'm just.... I just don't really have much else I can do without botherin people#uh pretty big trigger warning for this one BTW#don't read on if you're low on spoons and whatnot. genuinely it's fine and I will be fine I always am#but like. yknow. when shit sucks it fucking sucks#anyway. uh. I just can't stand the idea that I might be bothering someone#so at least this way my stupid cries for help have a possibility of getting me some without making any specific#person feel obligated. yknow? maybe you see the post maybe you don't#Maybe you don't read all the way maybe you do. either way you can choose if you have the spoons to reach out#without feeling guilty either way. I hope.#.......i kind of want to fucking kill myself again#.....it used to be a much rarer thought. and I used to be much less struck by intense loneliness and longing like this#but I just feel so fucking needy. so desperate for attention and love and it hurts so much if I don't get it#and like. it's realistically nobody's fault but my own yknow... i need to ask for it more. i know that. i just suck at it#and then I can't ask. so I don't get attention. and in turn I feel neglected. secondary. like I'm not anyone's primary focus#and it just fucking hurts so much and it's just my own damn fault and I don't know how to fix it.#......i do. I need therapy I need meds or something. that's the answer here really#picked out a psychiatrist. need to call and make an appointment. but adhd and executive function and anxiety (that last one I need meds for)#mean it's very hard to both remember and then actually perform the task of calling the fucjing Dr#......believe me I'm trying.....like fuck I'm trying so hard.... and I started bawling having seen sparkles and ms robot girl reblog that#post from me about letting prev know you're proud of them. bawled when quinn called me cutie last night. bawled when#ginny said they wished they were here.... fuck me I do too I want to be the focus of someone's attention so so so so badly#fuck#...............it's redundant to say at this point a second time but. goddess above its a little scary how much I wanna kill myself#........sigh#....anyway. please do not feel obligated to respond to this in any way. do what you got the spoons for.#thank you for even reading all of this shit if you've gotten this far. i love you deeply and with all my heart. I'll be fine I promise#won't act on it no matter how strong the feeling is. just.....hurts in the meantime. but I'll be ok. I promise#................fuck. im going back to bed
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In the source is a payhip link to download 4,113 gifs (280x210px) of Kennedy Walsh in various videos. All of these gifs were made by me (and are 100% free), please read the gif rules linked to on this blog before using the pack. There is a link to them on the payhip page as well for your convenience. Kennedy is a social media influencer / YouTuber, and is white. I'm also gonna be honest and admit I wouldn't personally use her anymore due to the reason I mentioned in this post, but I'm aware people have different limits and I keep getting dmed about these gifs a lot so I'm reposting them. Do whatever you want, but if you'd like to help the communities she hurt, I'd strongly recommend a donation to The Trever Project and/or supporting your local Jewish community. If you like my content and would like to support it, please consider donating to the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund or an indigenous cause. I have links in my pinned post to point you toward some if you need suggestions. Thank you! 💕 TWs: Flashing lights and alcohol are the only ones I remember off the top of my head. I'll be completely honest, I don't want to spend any more time dealing with this repost pack than I have to so just... tread carefully, there may be triggers I didn't list. Sorry!
#kennedy walsh gif pack#kennedy walsh gif hunt#kennedy claire walsh gif pack#kennedy claire walsh gif hunt#reblogs are disabled and these are unlisted (so only viewable by the link in the source) btw#like y'all can make your own choices but this is my middle ground with myself like tbh i legit did not want to repost these#but some of y'all are... very persistent :/ (and that's as polite as i can phrase it - sorry for anyone with zero context in the tags)#anyway i'll figure out like a normal pack i actually wanna acknowledge exists to post today too off my to upload list#i'm at work though so it'll probably be several hours#* mine
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is anyone else interested in joining my server? not quite ready to invite people yet but should be soon. just gauging interest right now. “like” or reply to this post and when i’m ready i’ll send you an invite.
server will probably be dual purpose.
there will be (1) a semi-public side oriented toward general discussion (topics like politics, books, history, philosophy, religion, media, science, tech, etc) and community building (nothing is set in stone yet but i am imagining activities like book club, movie watching, playing games, contests and giveaways, etc). and there will be (2) a private side dedicated to more focused discussions and internal cult matters.
the server won’t be a “safe space” -- i’m fine with a bit of edge (within ToS. not trying to get terminated.) -- but i do want this server (at least the semi-public side) to be /relatively/ welcoming and civil. so if you’re egregiously toxic or vulgar or prone to shitflinging or sperging out you won’t be welcome here. neither will you be welcome if you’re overly sensitive.
otherwise, as long as you follow the rules, you will be fine. though i always reserve the right to executively veto your presence for any reason.
#discord server round 2#i'll probably be reblogging this periodically for a bit#lurkers are probably okay#but i really want people who will be active and contribute to discussions#again in a mostly civil manner#but yeah i have a few people who have already said they want to join#but i just want to gauge interest#there's a minimum number of people i'm looking for in order to move forward with this#also while almost anyone is welcome#this server will probably lean toward the right#but part of the idea is that i want unorthodox and radical thinkers#from across the political spectrum#want there to be healthy debates and exchanges of ideas#also would be really cool if anyone who has experiences moderating would join and help me out with this#along with this i'm also trying to set up a wordpress and/or substack#i'm not sure how any of this works btw#i'm figuring it out as i go#but i want to try to create a writing project#potentially a collaborative group writing project#where members can submit poems and essays and short stories and whatever#in accordance with the spirit of the overall project#i'm not sure which is better for something like this#wordpress or substack#so yeah if you have any experience with this sort of stuff would really appreciate if you messaged me directly
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