#anxiety asides theres so many rules now with covid that i cant go over there and just ask
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do i actually have a crush on him or is he just hot and has similiar experiences as me
#yo wanna come to my house tomorrow#rant incoming 3 2 1#its like 2:30am and im thinking about my ex boyfriend and tramua and things i was robbed off#and my thought process led to this boy - L - who ive had in my classes on and off since grade 9#L is trans. in grade 10 science he had waist length hair and one day i noticed it was all gone and never grew back#last year in pysch we were working together and i just bit the bullet and outright asked and we were able to chill and laugh and talk about#gender#that was maybe. i dont even know. maybe a month before the world exploded#i wanted to talk to him again so bad and didnt get the chance#L is in my english class rn. he sits on the other side of class. i sit like a homosexual and also i have vantage seating so i can look at e#eryone. and maybe its because hes in my /direct/ line of sight but i keep being drawn back to him#i!! want!!! to spend time with him!!! but do i wanna be his friend or do i want to kiss him!!#hes pretty but also hes intellectual and hes TRANS so he KNOWS WHATS ITS LIKE AND WONT BE A FREAK ABOUT IT#anxiety asides theres so many rules now with covid that i cant go over there and just ask#or even for like his snapchat#god#and another reason i dont know what this is is because my ex was bisexual and im wholly convinced no one will ever love me unless theyre qu#er as well. and which. hes the only trans person i know off in gr 12. so. my head is all messed up#even if everything was fine im probably too much of a freak anyways#people who go looking for corpses arent exactly the most desirable people#sigh#goodnight#adventures#edit: tags messed up smfh this is probably unreadable
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