#anxiety Paddington

[tangents-within-tangents]

Thinking about Omega in ep 13 and how she's acting so different from how we've ever seen her.

Like she's so sassy and smug; the way she phrases things ("Want to know a secret? I escaped from this mountain before... Know what else? I'm doing it again" "That's okay, I like a challenge"), the way she shows them the tool she stole, twirling the game pieces in her hands...

But you can feel the tension behind it too, sounds a bit forced, like she clearly is scared too even though she came in with a plan

I think she's intentionally putting on this confident air to reassure the other kids, and she's 100% channeling Crosshair to do it

[starkwlkr]

just a girl | f1

an: this is me asking for your letterboxd pls i need letterboxd mutuals 🤭 my account is deadpunks also made the reader have glasses because we need more glasses representation in fanfics 😔 (to the girlies that wear glasses, this is for you!!!)

Las Vegas Grand Prix Weekend

“What movie did I watch?” Y/n read the comment that a fan left on her instagram live. She adjusted her glasses and smiled. “I just finished ‘Drop Dead Gorgeous’ it’s so underrated. The cast is so iconic like you have Kirsten Dunst, Brittany Murphy, Denise Richards, Amy Adams and Allison Janney in one movie. It’s definitely in my top four.”

It was hours after qualifying and Y/n was exhausted, but all she wanted to do was finish watching her movie. Unfortunately for her, the movie she had just named wasn’t anywhere on streaming so she brought her portable dvd player and a stack of dvds. When Lando saw her watching a movie and crocheting a scarf for herself in her garage, he laughed at the scene. He actually found it adorable.

“What’s my letterboxd? Okay, listen. . . I don’t give it out to just anyone so this is between you lovely people and me, okay? My letterboxd is ilovecillianmurphy420 and please follow me, I am desperate,” Y/n laughed. She then took her phone and saw all the new follower notifications from letterboxd. “I’m going to ask the social media admin to ask everyone on the grid for their four favorites. Lando is definitely going to name animated movies. That or he’ll forget what a movie is and say nothing.”

What’s your four favorites?

“Whoever your asked for my four favorites, I’m blocking you. How dare you ask me that question . . . Paddington 1 and 2, Saw and Mamma Mia. I know I said drop dead gorgeous was in my top four, but I lie all the time.”

The next day, her letterboxd account had become the second most followed account.

INSTAGRAM

liked by oscarpiastri, letterboxd and others

yourusername just watched the masterpiece that is jackass number two

formulaupdating can i ask why you don’t post about f1 that often?

yourusername no you may not

oscarpiastri i was there too

yourusername ok

landonorris didn’t you watch that last week?

yourusername this is my own private domicile and i will not be harassed

landonorris ?

yourusername bitch

Load more comments

After The Race / Interviews

Y/n hated being interviewed, it was the absolute worst thing on earth. No wait, forgetting her AirPods was the worst thing, but interviews were right behind that. She was exhausted and now she had to deal with reporters asking her what she thought about the championship battle.

Her fingers brushed the strap of her cap nervously as the interviewer’s voice cut through her anxiety.

“Y/n, P7 today—solid result. How are you feeling?" The reporter asked.

Y/n blinked, her eyes flicking around as she tried to process the question, and then her gaze landed on her own shoes. She cleared her throat awkwardly, looking up only to meet the camera for a brief, uncomfortable moment.

“Uh, yeah. It, uh . . . it was. . . good. I mean . . . yeah, I’m happy with it, I guess," she mumbled, her voice faltering.

The reporter smiled kindly, already used to the shy responses. “What do you think made the difference here in Vegas?" He waited patiently for Y/n’s answer.

Y/n’s lips parted as she prepared an answer, but the words tangled up in her brain. She shifted from foot to foot, adjusting her grip on the cap. Fuck, why can’t you think of anything?!, she thought to herself. “Uh . . . I don’t know . . . it’s just . . . uh, a little . . . weird, with all the lights and, you know, the . . . Strip, and, um . . .” Her voice trailed off.

The interviewer gave her a soft chuckle, understanding that Y/n’s awkwardness wasn’t lack of confidence, but rather a product of her introverted nature. Before the interview could go on, two figures appeared behind Y/n.

Oscar had cut in, Y/n’s pair of glasses in his hand. He placed a hand on her shoulder and handed the glasses to her while Lando ruffled her hair. She happily accepted them and placed them on her face.

“Alright, alright,” he said with a grin, his voice gentle but firm. “You’ve tortured her enough, mate.”

Y/n let out a relieved sigh as she turned to Oscar, who gave her a small, reassuring smile. “You’re doing great, really,” he said quietly, his tone meant to ease her nerves.

Lando then spoke up. “Are we done with the interrogation? She's literally about to disappear into her own head if we keep this up."

The reporter chuckled. “I was just asking Y/n about her performance today.”

Y/n hadn’t even noticed that she had completely abandoned the interview. She had started doodling on Oscar’s hand. The Aussie had given her the pen he had used from a fan when he was signing autographs. It was their thing. Whenever she would get nervous and Oscar was around, he would let her draw on his hand. Somehow the hand doodles calmed her.

“Right, Y/n?”

That’s when she picked up her head and noticed Lando was staring at her. “Sorry, what?”

“The race,” Lando reminded her. “She was brilliant out there. Absolutely nailed it.” Y/n didn’t have the words to argue. Instead, she ducked her head, feeling both embarrassed and grateful.

The three drivers said their goodbye to the reporter and walked away. Lando threw an arm over Y/n’s shoulder, grinning. “You know, for someone who hates interviews, you’ve got a hell of a lot to say . . . just not when it’s on camera.”

Y/n’s lips twitched into a small smile, and she felt a brief wave of gratitude for her friends’ protective camaraderie. She glanced at Oscar, who gave her a knowing nod, his usual quiet confidence offering her a sense of calm.

“You guys are unbelievable.” Y/n laughed lightly.

“Yeah well you’re the idiot who’s going to have to deal with us.” Lando replied.

“Unfortunately.” She teased.

“The idiot with the crocheting skills and silly little film reviews that are very popular on the box app.” Lando added.

“What?” Y/n stopped walking and stared at Lando. She looked over at Oscar for an answer, but the Aussie just shrugged his shoulders.

“I do believe our dear Y/n wants a hot priest?” Lando teased, bringing up Y/n’s lastest letterboxd review about Fleabag. “That’s a bit scandalous, don’t you think?”

“Hot priest?” Oscar couldn’t believe Lando had just said those two words together.

“You two don’t get it! Come on, we’re watching Fleabag!”

[starandcloud]

Fred and George Weasely Headcannons

Fred and George are/were(?) close with their grandparents. Fred with his Grandmothers and George with his Grandfathers

Fred loves Alfredo but wouldn't make it, not matter how much he wanted it

George loves stuffed shells but, again, wouldn't make them for himself

Fred has a very complicated skin and hair routine, he prides himself on his appearance

George... does not. He has no idea the difference between a moisturizer and cleanser. There's always one-

Fred rarely wears make-up, it clogs his pores, even concealer is a rare occurrence

George wears concealer like its apart of his face, he has eye bags from hell

Fred, if he had to choose, would eat skittles for the rest of his life if he could

George would eat black Licorish, he's a lil weird okay?

Fred loves Corduroy (cartoon bear)

And George adores Paddington

If Fred had to pick out a nonfiction book I feel like he'd be genuinely interested in the history of England-

George would also be interested in the history of England, just not as much as Fred is-

If Fred's significant other asked him to pick them up, he'd be a complete mess. Wondering what was wrong and anxious the entire ride

George. Would show up with chocolate and his partner's favorite things. He'd be a bit more controlled

If the twins had social medias there'd be no such thing as sticking to their own account, they'd switch phones constantly. Leaving their followers wondering who was who

I can see Fred as Omni, struggles with relationships

But George? George is a hopeless romantic and... also struggles with relationships

Fred has a tight and neat sleep schedule, always in bed and asleep by 10:30 by the latest

George? Oh, he's never heard of a sleep schedule-

Fred likes straight black coffee

George needs enough sugar to put someone into a diabetic shock (coming from a diabetic-) in his coffee and so much creamer that it's 90% creamer and 10% coffee-

As much as both are goofballs, I feel like they both struggle with insecurities. Mostly because they're the middle children (the ones often overlooked in most families) and feel the need to get the attention they crave from others. Mostly through laughter.

Fred has crippling anxiety, and panic attacks, if he can't find George.

George, who tries to come across as more relaxed, is just as anxious about losing Fred.

The two got lost in a mall once, a muggle mall at that, and have had difficulties not being stuck to each other after that

Fred has horrible night terrors and often ends up in George's bed, despite being older (but not by much) he's much more vulnerable with his emotions and struggles with them.

George has horrible depression, and it shows in his grades and personal hygiene. He struggles with both horribly, which does often worry Fred.

Fred has social anxiety, but hides it with humor

George hides his depression with jokes, which tend to be on the darker side.

Mainlist

Marauders/Harry Potter Mainlist

[yippeeometer]

here are some ships i believe in with my life with the full intent of pss pss pssing my fellow swashbucklers into my comments :D

NH/VT/ME. hammy monty and maine. not only do i think they match each others freak i think they actively make it worse. theyre the definition of new england gothic not in the sense that theyre trying to haunt people but in that they own lighthouses and like to stand in big empty fields freaking out the locals. also they dont come seperately im afraid monty IS inside maine's sweater during ur meeting

WY/MT. oh my god my wife is a bitch and i love her. my wife is a bitch and shes mean to me and im thinking of throwing myself into a volcano to see if theres any nice rocks i can get her. wy has the kind of social anxiety where he hasn't seen anyone in 6 months bc hes afraid to leave the house but he has to be physically glued to montana to not commit violence.

UT/CO/NM/AZ. my four corners you are soooooooo precious to me i cant believe it. theyre the warmest cuddle pile u can imagine. theyre hatting each other w sticks. theyre a one star rated tribute act. theyre the couple fighting in the dairy isle. theyre having dangerous sex to the soundtrack of paddington 2. theyre everything.

PA/MA. theyre just serving toxic codependent loserhood. they trauma bonded once when they were 17 and thats it since. theyre sooooo disgustingly meant for each other that youre begging them to just split off from the country bc getting a room just isnt enough atp.

WA/OR. breaking news the two worst people you know have found each other and have only enhanced the things about them you hate. they hate to see two bitches serving cunt but unfortunately, these hags are fused together and they'll stay that way to spite you. they publicly divorce 8 billion times a week but ore is caught multiple times gossiping to his husband in morse code when phones are eventually banned from the table.

NY/NJ i can't explain this one anymore than its just the most down bad behavior youve ever seen subtley disguised by the age old excuse of 'its just satire'. mans staring at ur ass in the meeting talking ab 'oh its for the bit'. im just saying ik you two like to fight but does he really need to straddle you to get a punch in.

IL/NV okay yeah it started off as a joke but like. the two scariest little freaks trying to out mafia each other. nevada blushing kicking his feet as illi sends his fourth hitman of the week bc nv was flirting w everyone and their mama to get back at him. utah looks at him with a mixture of confusion and dispear.

[aled4laide]

Intro post (yes I should have done that from the beginning 🙄)

Me :

Charlie, he/him, trans, 16, idk

If you know me irl, no you don’t

Favourite bands/artists :

Noahfinnce, Radiohead, Alex g, The Beatles, The smiths, Duster, Sufjan Stevens, Car seat headrest, Greenday and else

Favourite films :

The pursuit of happyness, Close, Extremely loud and incredibly close, Monster, Spread your wings, Paddington (1&2), The chorus, Don’t look now, we’re being shot at!

Favourite books :

Radio silence, All the bright places, Solitaire, The perks of being a wallflower, Artemis, The Martian, The curious incident of the dog in the nighttime

Random things I like :

Moomin, Calvin and Hobbes, cats, stars, swirls, dinosaurs, stickers, crafting things, hand sewing, listening to music, Pinterest, Tumblr

DNI if you’re : racist, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, anything bad basically

I have depression and anxiety and struggle with sh but pro recovery-don’t have an ed but I’m still pro recovery so against meanspo and all 🚫

Moots :

@vandalizingyourschool @is-it-funny-because-its-true @toulousesparkle @violentisopod2 @thoughtforthedaysolita1re @noahher @radios-universe @helphowdoiusethis @lonelyplace64 @malvelovent @rivenantiqnerd @survivingmyownlifetoo @foggyeyezz @usern4me143 @rascaltheidiot @caloak888 @where1endandyoubeg1n @renskiii-10 @iliketoeatair (sorry if I forgot I was mutuals with anyone else 🙏)

[popcornforone]

Speechless

A Javi Gutierrez Fic

Day 13 of Pedrotober

Masterlist

Time for some Sunshine. My sunshine. My Javi G has finally arrived in Pedrotober (thanks as always @norththelemon @alyssamariag for the prompts) & he is just being his soft self as usual.

Synopsis:- You have put on a birthday surprise for Javi.

Word Count:-750

Warnings over & above:- not many if I’m honest teasing swearing insults but this is just being sweet to our man on his birthday.

Thanks for the read peoples. How are we almost half ways.

You hold his hand as you guide him out of the car blindfolded. He’s in his favourite suit. Olive green, & the shiniest shoes you’ve ever seen.

“Baby this really is awakened” he giggles.

“Calm down Javi we are nearly there”

“I mean I’d say good but I have no idea where there is” the gravel crunches beneath both your feet as you walk him around the back of a stately home. “You know I have anxiety right & don’t like surprises”

“Trust me Javi this is one you will never forget”

“Okay bonita”

You slowly walk him around & sit him on a nice plush sofa & make sure everyone who is here, is in position.

“You ready Javi” you’re the more excited person out of the two of you.

“Yes I have been for about a 2 hours” he scoffs.

“Okay you can remove the blind fold now”he does as you ask & as his eyes flicker open, he’s met with amazement.

“Surprise!” Everyone shouts. He’s in a large English stately home that you’ve rented for the night. Friends & family from your side & his around him, including Nicholas Cage & a couple of special people. There’s a huge screen with a projector & he notices a couple of people in the back ground.

“No fucking way is that…”

“Yes” you reply beaming & out walk Hugh Grant & Ben Whishaw who come over & introduce themselves to Javi.

“Sir it’s an honour” Hugh says grabbing his hand for a firm shake.

“Yes” says Ben who then hugs you & then Javi. “Once we’d found out what a super fan you were, we had to come put this on for you”

“Put what on”

“Paddington in Peru” says Ben. “For your birthday, your wonderful other half contacted us & explained what a fan you were of Paddington 2 so we thought why not let one of our biggest fans be the first person to see it”

“I…I…” for the first time in your life Javi is speechless. You can see his eyes welling up as he looks back at you. “You’ve organised all this for me? for my birthday?” He looks like a puppy those big brown eyes swelling.

“Yes Javi” you hear a cough from 2feet away. “I mean Nick helped as well, but yes we wanted you to have the best experience for your special day. I know most 5 year olds want to watch Paddington but who says you can’t be 45 & watch it” Javi the grabs you & pulls you down onto the sofa forgetting everyone is here & kisses you deeply. His tongue inspecting every aspect of your mouth.

“Well this is a bit awkward” Hugh Jokes & you both pull apart & apologise.”… & I should know awkward, I was in the film unfrosted as Tony the Tiger” the room all laughs.

“You were the best part of that film” Javi & you say in unison & then everyone laughs again.

“Why thank you both, but I have been paid so you don’t have to flatter me” Hugh reply’s.

Everyone goes & helps themselves to snacks & drinks in the garden & finds a chair to sit down on. Javi is happy he’s got a pop corn bucket shaped like Paddingtons hat & that next you you both is a bottle of champagne on ice.

As everyone is ready the projector starts to whirl & the film gets ready to play. You kick your shoes off so you can wrap yourself around Javi to watch the film. He carefully moves a stand of your hair & whispers.

“This out does Nick for my 40th by the way” he chuckles.

“Really?” You reply shocked.

“Really” he smiles “I was insulted by Hugh Grant in a stately home while Ben Whishaw looked awkward, best birthday gift ever.”

“Good” you say “cos I had to sell your private jet for this”

“What” Javi almost spits out his popcorn.

“You really don’t get my sarcasm sometimes so you Javi”

“True” he kisses your forehead. His hand squeezes your bum & then you see his eyes widen. “No underwear baby”

“Nope, it’s your birthday. You get to enjoy everything in any way or speed that you want to” the music to the film starts up & Javi slaps your bum.

“Hmmm suddenly this film I’ve waited 6 years to see is suddenly going to become a distraction from the main event later”

[thenationaltreasuregazette]

Book of Secrets Fails as a Sequel on Every Level

2/?: Ben's Character Arc

1 |

We begin our deep dive into National Treasure: Book of Secrets by taking a look a Ben's character arc. The main problem here is that there isn't one. Even a little bit.

Just to refresh for those of you who don't steep in the brine of media analysis all day, a character arc is the change a character undergoes from the beginning of the story to the end. It's why we tell stories. That's an oversimplification, perhaps, but it's also true.

Stories are generally about a person who wants a goal, and faces obstacles in attempting to get it. In going through the ordeal of pursing their goal, they change. In most stories—and certainly most Disney blockbusters—that change is about fixing a flaw the character had, making them a better person.

A straightforward example is Marlin in Finding Nemo.

He starts off the story overprotective and unwilling to let Nemo live his own life, in a way that is detrimental to both of them. Through the course of the story he learns to let go of some of his anxiety, make peace with the danger of the unknown, and regain the trust he lost in both his son and the world/ocean at large. Hooray! Arc!

(Pixar movies are generally great places to see clear, well-done examples of story principles, with a bonus of lots of analysis to check out as well.)

National Treasure

Now. In all fairness, National Treasure isn't quite as straightforward a case. As I briefly mentioned here, Ben Gates actually doesn't have a character arc in the first movie. Or, more specifically, he has what's called a flat arc. Here, instead of the story forcing a character to change, the hero believes in their ideals so strongly that they force the story world around them to change instead.

Examples of this character type, also called a Paragon, include:

Superman

Captain America

Paddington

(these are good guy examples, but paragons can also be evil)

In the first movie, Ben believes so strongly in the treasure that he forces everyone around him to change their minds about him, his mission, and the reality of the treasure.

→ Patrick accepts Ben back into his life and even comes to support his choice to search for the treasure.

→ Abigail moves from thinking treasure hunters are somewhere between a nuisance and an enemy to actively becoming one herself.

→ Sadusky goes from pursuing Ben to letting him go and helping him get revenge on the "real" bad guy.

→ Riley doesn't really arc, which is not uncommon of a comic relief character.

But Ben goes from:

I believe the treasure is real and I'll stop at nothing to find it → I believe the treasure is real and I'll stop at nothing to find it and I was right.

The Ben we meet at the beginning of the movie doesn't have any trouble believing in himself. He isn't nearly dissuaded from pursuing the treasure. He doesn't have any strong hangups about breaking the law that he needs to overcome.

Which means he doesn't need to learn anything or grown in any way in order to complete the story. He changes the world around him instead.

Thus, a flat arc.

But what's key here is character change is still happening!

Book of Secrets

In the second movie Ben doesn't change either. But a flat arc is not the same as not having an arc at all.

In the second movie, Ben has already made the changes he can make to the world around him by believing in the treasure. Patrick, Abigail, and Sadusky are all already on his side. Their minds have been changed.

Except for the breakup, which we'll get to.

So Ben still believing so strongly in another treasure isn't affecting the story in the same way. Also why tf would everybody believe that Mr. Templar Treasure couldn't find another treasure?? But that's a topic for another edition.

He needed to have a character arc in the second movie, and he doesn't.

He starts out as a self-centered prick with a superiority complex who refuses to listen to his loved ones when they tell him he's not respecting them...

...and after a daring, life-or-death race to the City of Gold...

...he remains a self-centered prick with a superiority complex who refuses to listen to his loved ones when they tell him he's not respecting them.

Great work team; we learned nothing.

The reason this is a problem is because it leads to an unsatisfying story. The story feels unimportant. If everybody—but especially our hero—is the same person they were at the start, then why did they bother doing this?

More to the point, why did we bother watching it?

More on Ben's arc next time →

[queen-victoria-roses]

On this day, 7th June 1844, a reception was held in the Saloon at Buckingham Palace for Emperor Nicholas I of Russia and the King of Saxony.

Queen Victoria’s journal:

“Breakfast the same, as all these mornings, after the Emperor had been to Prayers, with Albert. — At a little before 11, we set off for Slough, with the Emperor & King, taking the train there. When we were in the carriage the Emperor kissed my hand & pressed it with great warmth, saying he must thank me for all my kindness to him at Windsor, & he also thanked Albert. No one was in our railway saloon but ourselves & the Sovereigns. There was an immense crowd at Paddington station & all the way to Buckingham Palace, which we reached at 12. Took the Emperor to his rooms, for he lodges here now, as well as almost the whole of his suite. — I rested, & wrote, &c —. The Emperor came upstairs, to Albert's room, just before luncheon, & then led me down to the small Drawingroom, where we lunched with him & the King. The Emperor began to talk about politics & did so very frankly & fairly, — much in the same strain, as he did to me, the other evening, viz: of Austria & the terrible position that country was in, — with the Sovereign a complete cypher, the Archdukes taking no part in anything, & the Nobility being of no assistance whatever; that someone must stand by them & support them, & must not shut one's eyes in tranquillity, but be prepared for what the future may bring. He regretted & dreaded the growing fanaticism about religion, & appealed to the King, if he was not right in thinking it very bad. The latter, quite agreed, for though he is a very good Roman Catholic, has extremely liberal religious views. Then the Emperor talked of the King of Prussia, saying much the same about him, as he had before; - of the Diet, & of his great wish to keep things as they were; - that I could rely (& I must say I do trust his word) upon him, & trusted he might rely on me, to which I of course, suited, & bowed assent that he wished our keeping together, not to be in the slightest degree exclusive of others. Albert often put in a clever word of his. The Emperor said that because he spoke so "franchement", he had been accused of having "des arrières pensées" & being prompted by "le Diable". "Mais je trouve que le Diable ne parle pas quelquefois si Mal," he added, laughing. When we got up from luncheon, he kissed my hand, begging my pardon for having said all he had, but that he had been anxious to lose no opportunity of being well understood. - Walked out with Albert & it was very mild. - Rested, when we came in & wrote. - Punctually at 8 we dined. Besides our suites & ourselves & Ld Aberdeen, Aunt Gloucester. The Gentlemen were all in full dress uniform, the Emperor looking very magnificent & dignified. The servants were in their state liveries & the whole dinner was a very fine sight. I sat as usual between the Sovereigns. After dinner there come about 259 invited guests, & all the rooms were thrown open. I presented some of the Ladies to the Emperor, who was extremely kind & civil about it, & full of anxiety lest I should fatigue myself too much. Whilst Albert was presenting all the Gentlemen, I sat with Aunt Gloucester, in the Saloon, & they joined us afterwards. The Emperor only sat down for a moment near me, as he walked about for the greater part of the evening. At ¼ to 11, we went into the Throne Room, where refreshments were served, the Emperor leading me in, & after a little while, we returned to the Saloon. At ½ p. 11, we all retired. Felt very glad that everything had gone off so well. Naturally, I felt very tired. -”

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, please feel free to send me any questions either in the comments, on social media (Queen.Victoria.Roses) and I will respond as soon as possible. You can also follow me on tumblr for updates about new posts. If you would like to support my work, please feel free to leave a donation through my Ko-fi page so I can gain access to new research resources and continue creating new and more accurate content for all of you. Thank you again for supporting my work, it is greatly appreciated. - Shannon x

[walkingthegr10-blog]

Back to the path

I read a theory that your back pack is full of your fears. If you fear hunger, it’s full of food. Sickness, and it’s full of hygiene products and first aid items. Cold, and it’s full of clothes. My fears don’t want to be pinned down, because I’ve spent the last few days in a state of low level anxiety, taking things out and reinstating them. Do I need / fear this thing enough to carry it on my back for the next 10 days?*

And so it is that I find myself with the much edited back pack (too late now) on the fast Paddington-Newquay train to resume my journey on the South West Coastal path, which has, by now, become a summer routine.

Attentive readers of this blog will be puzzling how it is that I can *start in Newquay* this time around, when you last heard from me in Padstow, at least 20 miles north… Keep faith… I have indeed done the miles, but Padstow was where I hooked up with my friend Alice, and frankly, I was having too much fun to keep you updated. However, Alice is an expert landscape and wildlife photographer, so here’s some of her pics of our camping, sea swimming and yurt adventures last summer.

And so, back to Newquay, that bustling, polluted commercial break in the Cornwall coastline. I check into the Newquay Travelodge — where else? — and prepare to set off in the morning. All well.

*Or, bigger question, for the rest of my days?

Cliff top camping at Porthcothan. Photos: Alice

[potatothemouse]

times my grandma gave me anxiety as a kid part 3

2nd grade:

grandpa: (steps on a Cheerio that was on the ground by accident)

me: ahahahaha

grandma: nori that is not nice to laugh at that that’s very mean. Treat other the way you would

me: (but if someone laughed at me for that I wouldn’t care????)

3rd grade:

Younger sibling: noris reading a book right now that she shouldn’t be reading for her age

me: (no no no no NOO!!)

book I was reading

4th grade:

me: I’m not doing choir this year because dad realized I didn’t like doing it

grandma: well you don’t know that for sure

me: yes I do

grandma: well I’m really disappointed that your lying to yourself

me: (don’t cry, I knew this would happen)

5th grade:

(at the library)

me: (oh I want this movie…wait no it has magic in it, this one…no, wreck it Ralph no it has jokes…guess it’s paddington again)

younger siblings: (pick out movies I know she won’t like)

me: (augh what are they thinking!!!!)

6th grade:

younger sibling: last night we watch a show called the simpsons and…

me: (shit shit shit I can’t listen to this lecture why! Didn’t he know grandma and grandpa hate simpsons!)

7th grade:

younger sibling: nori’s been watching a show called steven universe and their are these two characters that are-

me: don’t say it

younger sibling: why!

me: you know why!

grandma: nori I’m very disappointed that your keeping secrets from me

okay I just wanna defend my younger siblings as some of these were caused by them. My brothers at the time were kinda brain washed and oblivious at the same time. They’re kids not adults at this time. So some of the stuff they did here wasn’t because they were actively trying to get us in trouble they just didn’t care and at the same time when they would rat me out they thought it was making them a better person because of what our grandma told us

[lizzardtown]

The credits roll on Paddington 2 and slowly the anxiety of someone who is being hunted for sport returns

[babii-demi-demon]

Beluga babii Part Two

Ezili

Triggers for Anxiety:

♡》loud, sudden noises

♡》overly bright or harsh lighting

♡》crowded spaces

♡》sudden changes in routine

♡》being rushed

♡》conflict or raised voices

♡》feeling ignored or left out

♡》being alone for long periods

♡》overstimulation

♡》onfamiliar environments

♡》unpleasant textures

♡》lack of comfort items

♡》unpleasant smells

♡》feeling unsupported or unheard

♡》rapid transitions between activities

♡》social expectations or pressure

♡》fear of disappointing Daddii

♡》physical discomfort

♡》sensory overload from media

♡》feeling unprepared or uncertain

Favourite TV/Movie/Anime Characters:

♡》dory from finding nemo and finding dory

♡》pingu from pingu

♡》ariel from the little mermaid

♡》bluey from bluey

♡》totoro from my neighbour totoro

♡》squishy from monster's university

♡》winnie the pooh from winnie the pooh

♡》elmo from sesame street

♡》flounder from the little mermaid

♡》marlin from finding nemo

♡》peppa pig from peppa pig

♡》moana from moana

♡》oswald from oswald the octopus

♡》puffin from puffin rock

♡》nemo from finding nemo

♡》spongebob squarepants from spongebob squarepants

♡》bubbles from the powerpuff girls

♡》oona from bubble guppies

♡》whale from the snorks

♡》paddington bear from the adventures of paddington

♡》boo from monsters, inc.

♡》minnie mouse from mickey mouse clubhouse

♡》sandy cheeks from spongebob squarepants

♡》piplup from pokémon

♡》moomin from moomins

♡》dug from up

♡》ponyo from ponyo

♡》kipper from kipper the dog

♡》littlefoot from the land before time

♡》togepi from pokémon

♡》eeyore from winnie the pooh

♡》snorkmaiden from moomins

♡》paddington bear from the original paddington bear

♡》whale from octonauts

♡》piglet from winnie the pooh

♡》rosie from rosie’s rules

♡》peach from finding nemo

♡》pua from moana

♡》tigger from winnie the pooh

♡》dumbo from dumbo

♡》rilakkuma from rilakkuma and kaoru

♡》maui from moana

Favourite Types of Stuffiis:

♡》beluga whale stuffiis

♡》octopus stuffiis

♡》seal stuffiis

♡》dolphin stuffiis

♡》turtle stuffiis

♡》penguin stuffiis

♡》narwhal stuffiis

♡》starfish stuffiis

♡》crab stuffiis

♡》jellyfish stuffiis

♡》orca whale stuffiis

♡》fish-shaped stuffiis

♡》polar bear stuffiis

♡》sea otter stuffiis

♡》whale shark stuffiis

♡》mermaid stuffiis

♡》seahorse stuffiis

♡》frog stuffiis

♡》snail stuffiis

♡》coral reef stuffii set

Favourite Toys:

♡》water beads

♡》bath toys

♡》bubble machines

♡》ocean-themed sensory bottles

♡》sand play sets

♡》stacking cups

♡》shell collection kits

♡》toy boats

♡》ocean-themed puzzles

♡》toy fish tanks

♡》musical toy seahorses

♡》glow-in-the-dark stars

♡》ocean-themed finger puppets

♡》toy submarines

♡》mermaid dolls

♡》squishy sea creatures

♡》bubble wands

♡》underwater viewers

♡》scented slime

♡》toy crabs with moving claws

Bath Time Preferences:

♡》warm water

♡》ocean-themed bath toys

♡》bubbles

♡》gentle bath music

♡》bath crayons

♡》scented bath bombs (ocean or lavender)

♡》soft, fluffy towels

♡》glow-in-the-dark bath toys

♡》bath foam and shaving cream play

♡》sea creature sponges

♡》coloured bath tablets

♡》bath time story

♡》soft, hooded towels

♡》gentle, tear-free shampoo

♡》floating lights

♡》soft bristle brushes

Favourite Seasons:

Winter:

♡》the cold, crisp air and the peacefulness

♡》the imagery of snow and ice

♡》winter brings a sense of calm, with soft snowflakes and gentle winds creating a cosy, quiet atmosphere

Fall/Autumn:

♡》she enjoys the cosy, comforting feel of fall

♡》the cooler weather, soft sweaters, and warm tones of the leaves create a safe, secure environment

♡》she enjoys the calm, reflective mood that autumn brings, which aligns with her desire for cosy moments and soft, warm textures

Spring:

♡》spring is a time of renewal and soft breezes, which she enjoys

♡》the gentle warmth of the season and the blooming flowers make her feel refreshed

♡》spring brings a sense of lightness and new beginnings

Summer (Beach Days):

♡》while she prefers cooler seasons, she does love summer for its connection to the ocean

♡》beach days with the sun shining on the water, gentle waves, and the soft sand beneath her feet are some of her favourite experiences

♡》she enjoys the ocean breeze and the calmness that the water brings

Favourite Places Indoors:

♡》Daddii's lap

♡》in bed with Daddii

♡》cozy blanket forts

♡》bathtubs

♡》reading nooks

♡》window seats

♡》soft play mat

♡》couch with soft blankiis

♡》sensory areas

♡》under the table

♡》stuffii pile

♡》art areas

♡》dimly lit room with fairy lights

Nature Connections:

♡》ocean and waves

♡》rain

♡》snow and ice

♡》waterfalls

♡》tide pools

♡》calm lakes

♡》sandy beaches

♡》rocky shores

♡》forests

♡》gentle breeze

♡》starry nights

♡》soft grass

♡》underwater exploration

♡》sunrises and sunsets

♡》tropical islands

Things That Make Her Laugh:

♡》silly faces

♡》bubbles popping

♡》light, gentle tickles

♡》funny animal videos

♡》playful splashing

♡》peek-a-boo

♡》whale sounds

♡》silly songs

♡》stuffii conversations (when Daddii makes her plushies talk to each other in silly voices or act out funny situations)

♡》being chased playfully

♡》bubble machine

♡》puppets or finger puppets

♡》pop-up toys

♡》silly dancing

♡》blowing raspberries

♡》squeaky toys

♡》silly stories

♡》wobbly jelly or pudding

♡》playful animal impressions

Preferred Art Styles:

♡》watercolor

♡》pastel art

♡》cartoon-style art

♡》nature sketches

♡》collage art

♡》soft digital art

♡》impressionism

♡》fantasy art

♡》colouring books

♡》sea life illustrations

♡》minimalist art

♡》glow-in-the-dark art

Soothing Sounds for Sleep:

♡》ocean waves

♡》whale songs

♡》rainfall

♡》soft wind chimes

♡》distant thunder

♡》gentle waterfall

♡》crackling fireplace

♡》soft lullabies

♡》birdsong at dawn

♡》underwater bubbles

♡》rustling leaves

♡》stream or river flowing

♡》sea breeze

♡》soft humming

♡》wind blowing through trees

Daily Affirmations:

♡》i am safe, loved, and cared for

♡》i am calm, and i can handle anything

♡》i am connected to the ocean, and it helps me stay grounded

♡》i am enough just as i am

♡》i am loved for who i am inside and out

♡》i am free to be playful and happy

♡》i am surrounded by peace, and i bring peace to others

♡》i am strong and capable, like the ocean

♡》i deserve kindness and understanding

♡》i am safe in my Daddii's care

♡》i can be gentle with myself, just like i am with others

♡》i am full of wonder, and every day is a new adventure

♡》i trust myself, and i trust the world around me

♡》i am important, and my feelings matter

♡》i am connected to nature, and it brings me peace

Travel Dreams:

♡》visit all aquariums possible

♡》pretty, not overly populated beaches

♡》stay at a cosy cabin by the lake

♡》explore tide pools

♡》visit an arctic-themed park

♡》stay in an underwater hotel

♡》go on a dolphin-watching tour

♡》visit all the rainforests

♡stay at a beachside cottage

♡》lots of waterfalls

♡》visit a sea turtle sanctuary

♡》boat ride on a calm river

♡》explore ice caves

♡》snorkeling in a coral reef

♡》visit a beluga whale sanctuary

♡》relax at a hot springs

♡》stargazing in a quiet desert

♡》visit a frozen lake

♡》boat ride and swim in a bioluminescent bay

♡》visit an island with puffins

♡》swim in a saltwater lagoon

♡》explore a sea cave

♡》picnic in a meadow

♡》visit a marine biology centre

♡》stay at a treehouse in the forest

♡》whale watching in the arctic

♡》exploring a hidden beach

♡》visit flower gardens

♡》sail on a calm lake at sunset

Special Occasions:

♡》birthday celebrations

♡》Daddii (caregiver) appreciation day

♡》ocean day

♡》snow day

♡》whale watching day

♡》stuffii's birthdays

♡》underwater adventure day

♡》seasonal celebrations

♡》cuddle day

♡》first snowfall celebration

♡》whale song appreciation day

♡》rainy day cosy time

♡》favourite shows or movies marathon day

♡》sensory play day

Things That Make Her Feel Brave:

♡》Daddii

♡》holding her favourite stuffiis

♡》Daddii's encouraging words

♡》wearing a special outfit

♡》soft hand holding with Daddii

♡》listening to calming music

♡》Dadii's presence

♡》favourite blankiis

♡》repeating or hearing Daddii repeat a special affirmation

♡》taking deep breaths with Daddii

♡》Daddii's hugs

♡》small achievements

♡》favourite stories of brave characters

♡》having a safe space to retreat to

♡》gentle encouragement from Daddii

[integratedau]

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[inapat17]

Why did I watch Little miss sunshine - Valerie Faris, Jonathan Dayton (2006) – for the forty-thousandth time?

Recently I had a really bad day. Who has not. After I ate pasta, I had only one idea: I wanted to watch Little miss sunshine. Looking at the film, it was the same as I remember. I cried at the same time and I thought “Steve Carell is really one of the best drama actors” then I cried when the whole family is pushing the van all together and again at the end of the movie. Watching it again validated my analysis of the film: this van is just like life, some times we are not enough to push it. That is why we need our loved ones, to help us pushing it when we can not ourself. Of course, anyone of them is perfect, Paul Dano’s character: Dwayne will never achieve his dream, Frank just wants to die, Richard is losing has no job and Sheryl tries to be the best supportive wife and the best mother at the same time but it is impossible. But at least, the family is together and the most wonderful thing is that they can be ridiculous together. At the center of it all there is Olive, the real sunshine with her hopeless smile. It is a movie about hope and love. So, it is what I can say about the film when I try to criticize it. This film is one of my comfort films. A comfort film is a movie you go to when you really need some joy. It can be any kind of movie or any movie at all. I know that in my comfort films there is Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the two Paddington’s movies, the two Gremlins’ movies or the other movie I talked about in my articles: Conan the Barbarian and Pirates of the Caribbean. A comfort movie can even be a guilty pleasure, to me it is Batman and Robin from Joel Schumacher, I love the kitsch of the movie. Watching comfort films I experience different types of feelings: I want to find the emotions I have experienced during my first viewing, or I want to experiment my thesis on a movie, or I just want to have fun, or I just want to cry… Then, when I watch it again, I experience many feelings but at the end I always end up better than I was. But I still have a question: why do I go back to these films over and over, again and again?

              Because I could not answer on my own, I have ended up on Google Scholar, searching for research papers on the matter. I had not a single result that interested me: they were all about the comfort of glasses when you look at a movie. Funny, but not what I wanted.

              That is why I have simply googled “Comfort film research”. Guess what? I have found something! I have first found an article from the North Harford High School saying that: [1]“Psychologists have suggested that those who are especially prone to illness such as anxiety or depression find comfort in rewatching a film, rather than processing new information while watching something new.”. It means that our brain is venomous and likes what he knows. Then, I continued my research, because I thought it was a little bit to easy. That is when I found Sohni Kaur’s thesis entitled The comfort watch: psychology and media theory perspectives on nostalgia and film[2]. According to Kaur the reason we go back to the same film is anxiety and depression but also nostalgia. Nostalgia comes from the Latin nostos – homecoming – and algos – pain –, it literally means a pain a person lives when they can not go home. But films seem to be a pharmakon (the remedy and the poison) to nostalgia. Indeed, it is the remedy because a film is an image fixed on a support but it is also a poison because a film is a linear media, then if you want to watch it again you must watch it from the beginning. You can not always go back to the memory because you need something to watch it. In psychology, there can not be nostalgia if there is no memory even if a memory can exist without nostalgia. Nostalgia lives through a memory; it is the feeling to go back to the memory you once lived. Then, when we are sad, we might feel a little bit nostalgic and it is why we watch for the umpteenth time the same movie. Kaur says “Now, media is not only the trigger for nostalgia, but the place where it manifests (Kalinina, 2016). Media is a prime habitat for nostalgia to manifest as it “mediate[s] collective and individual experiences” (Kalinina, 2016, p. 12)”. We are rarely alone in a movie theater and each person in the audience is going to live a different experience while the movie is the same. When I talk about nostalgia, the first that comes to my mind is Edgar Wright’s Last night in Soho (2022) in which a woman goes back to the sixties and is being haunted by another girl from that time.  I am afraid of nostalgia because I feel that it is like wanting something that we can never have back. But perhaps nostalgia is a copying mechanism to get out of the sadness that we are in? Derida says about cinema that it is the art of ghost. We all get nostalgic just seeing a dead actor on screen. Like when I see a movie with Belmondo, I experience pain because I will never be able to tell him how much he gives to me. In Steven Spielberg’s The Fabelmans the mother tells her son that a movie is “a dream that you never forget”. Then it is nostalgic at its core. Cinema is a nostalgic art, trying to put back into the present a past that has been filmed to be shown in the future. Time is fleeting with cinema as it makes us all a little bit more nostalgic.

              I might stop asking myself why I go back to this film. It is just that I need it to feel when I cannot. After all, perhaps nostalgia can help me pushing my van? That is why comfort movies and comfort art are so important, it what makes us human. If we fail or have a bad, I know that this nostalgic candy will still be the same and will make me feel as I need. And you? What is your comfort films list? Don’t be shy to share it!         

[1] Rewatch and relax; Psychology behind comfort films ; Madison Fetherston ; April 27, 2021 ; https://cryofthehawk.org/entertainment/2021/04/27/rewatch-and-relax-psychology-behind-comfort-films/

[2] The comfort watch: psychology and media theory perspectives on nostalgia and film ; Sohni Kaur ; 2021 ; https://scholarship.claremont.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2772&context=scripps_theses

[fictionz]

New Fiction 2023 - December

"Ezekiel" ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

Ezekiel had a lot to prophesy, and none of it good news.

"Daniel" ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

We're really just there for lions and Susanna.

Revenant by Alex White (2021)

I like that I can hop around between DS9 stories that are part of the post-show timeline and the various stories that just take place at some point during or prior to the show. Also good to see the designers stepping up that cover art! And let me tell ya, this story delivers on that cover. Half of it is a Jadzia and Kira adventure with mysteries, heists, danger, and a lot of really good background on the Dax symbiont. Loved that! Then Kira tagged out for Worf and Bashir, and that was alright. I wish it had been Jadzia and Kira all the way though.

Silver Nitrate by Silvia Moreno-Garcia (2023)

It's a nerds' tale through and through. Film nerds, occult nerds, horror nerds, and Moreno-Garcia blends it all skillfully. It doesn't hit as strongly as Mexican Gothic, but mysteries tend to be like that when they take place in a metropolis instead of the confines of a creepy mansion.

The Men by Sandra Newman (2023)

I liked the setup, and the premise, and I was mostly onboard until the finale really let me down. Maybe the idea is depressing to people, like it is to most characters in the story, but I saw hope in sticking with the reality of most of the book and making a better world of it. You grieve, you build anew. There was also some hand-wringing around race and gender tension from the main character that feels like it's meant to be considerate but is just channeling white anxiety about the optics of appearing racist instead recognizing racial bias and making changes to address it.

Aftermath by Christopher L. Bennett (2003)

Whoops, one more Star Trek book before the end of the year. I’d been meaning to read it for about a year and finally found some time with the digital copy from Open Library. Like the other SCE stories, it’s a short and sweet little tale. The thematic elements about a civilization’s collapse and hope for the future were just what I needed after reading some more downbeat stories.

Jekyll and Heidi by R.L. Stine (1999)

It was... okay. Not the strongest plot or twist, although notably darker in terms of setting up the main character's predicament. Kinda Dahlesque but without his absurdity.

"> THE JESTER" by Margaut Shorjian (2023)

Do it.

The Simpsons: Bart vs. Homersaurus dev. Tiger Electronics (1994)

These level-based LCD games are never as strong as the endless loops of their Game & Watch progenitors, but the tech is neat. Voice clips must've been an expensive proposition.

Dream Scenario dir. Kristoffer Borgli (2023)

You know, it is a weird movie, but the part where it digs into cancel culture felt off. Too real maybe. And even then, I just don't think it'll stick around in my brain.

Godzilla Minus One dir. Takashi Yamazaki (2023)

A great Godzilla story with a good balance of humans and monster. It's a big deal when I can care about the human side of a monster attack.

The Boy and the Heron dir. Hayao Miyazaki (2023)

It meanders and contemplates, kinda like The Wind Rises, but it's so beautiful and weird that it's easy to just roll with it.

The Abyss dir. James Cameron (1989)

So did Cameron just establish the genre of scifi that is working class stiffs who aren't trained for this being sent out into the deep end?

Eileen dir. William Oldroyd (2023)

It has that short story quality I can never quite describe. Like something unsettling I'd read in The New Yorker.

A Christmas Story dir. Bob Clark (1983)

1983?! This feels so ancient. Well, I'm glad I finally watched it all through instead of bits and pieces on TV.

Wonka dir. Paul King (2023)

I should watch a Paddington sometime.

Monster dir. Hirokazu Kore-eda (2023)

I wanna say it's a perfect movie. It has some dread but still has a hopeful vibe in the end.

Leave the World Behind dir. Sam Esmail (2023)

I guess I see why people responded to it, but I found it too bleak, and that's saying something. I guess I prefer these things to be a little further removed from the current timeline. *hugs The Outer Limits 1995*

The Polar Express dir. Robert Zemeckis (2004)

My nephew straight up performs the movie as he watches it, and that's about as memorable as a viewing can get.

The Muppet Christmas Carol dir. Brian Henson (1992)

Pretty good, but it can't top Muppet Treasure Island in my brain. The effects for some of those scenes are mighty impressive though.

Velvet Buzzsaw dir. Dan Gilroy (2019)

No one told me this was a horror movie! I'd have watched it sooner. It's an excellent high-budget version of an episode of Tales from the Crypt.

The 100 - "Perverse Instantiation – Part One" (2016)

I sorta picked up what the show is throwing down, but coming into at this late stage is not the way to watch an episode.

The 100 - "Perverse Instantiation – Part Two" (2016)

This episode was a little more clear as a season finale with defined stakes. It was enough that I'd watch this series at some point in the future.

The Crown - "Ipatiev House" (2022)

Sorta tuned in here, and it has big House of Cards vibes. I guess all this stuff about royals is the original HoC.

The Crown - "No Woman's Land" (2022)

Elizabeth Debicki is a great Diana. I don't know if I'm in the mood for sociopolitical interpersonal drama anytime soon, but this show seems to manage it all with aplomb.

The Outer Limits - "The Galaxy Being" (1963)

A bit snoozy I'll admit, but that's most TV of the era. Things really pick up when the well-designed alien kicks in. Those effects are impressive.

Night Gallery - "Pilot" (1969)

Whoa! This first episode is real good. I've heard the show has its ups and down since Serling didn't have the same level of creative control, but the pilot is just a great horror anthology film.

Babylon 5 - "The Gathering" (1993)

Hokey VFX and 90s-era production values aside, I can see the appeal of the show. I'll be fighting my instinct to go back and watch Star Trek the whole time but I'm glad to finally get into the show.