#anw hope u like it anon ! this was so self indulgent for me i love wriitng sm !!!

[ritzy-reminiscence]

Romantic headacon Rocky x male reader who is apathetic and deeply depressed, the only thing that keeps him going is Rocky

─♣️─ Lackadaisy : Apricity

⸝⸝ tl;dr : the warmth of the sun during winter's worst, rocky rickaby is quite frankly the only thing keeping you going .

⸝⸝ notes : this post contains mentions of depression and ever so slightly implies spicy stuff; if you're uncomfortable with such subjects, please click away ! this post is also pretty long, i had too much fun writing this aaa

When was the last time you felt alive?

Not recently, that's for sure. Every day just seems to pass by in a blur -- all the same stories, all the same places. You never care to look at things anymore ; they're all uniform anyways, why bother?

Maybe it's just the weather. Maybe it's just the way the heavy winter clouds block out the sun that's got you like this. Maybe, maybe. Two syllables that seem to define your current state : Maybe I'll feel better. Maybe I won't. Walking the tightrope of life with cloth pulled over your eyes, no end in sight.

It's worst during the nights. Atleast in the day there's something to distract you -- your neighbors' bickering, the leak in the kitchen faucet, the state of your room. Anything to help you turn a blind eye to your plight.

But the nights are different. Silence everywhere, like a blanket covering the world, forcing all your senses to focus on how you are, what you are, how you got here. When was the last time you ever felt alive?

And then there would be a rumbling outside, like a car on the pavement. All cars sound the same to you -- all except his. The sound of his car alone wakes your nerves, the revving of the engine shooting adrenaline straight into your veins.

The sounds of a car door closing, quick footsteps on the stairs, an earth-shattering knock on your door. His voice, weightless as gossamer and bright as sunlight -- "Y/N ! Are you in there ?"

Your heart grows wings, flutters in your ribcage. Just his voice alone stirs your psyche awake.

You don't remember what happens during your late-night rendezvous with Rocky Rickaby. He could've taken you out to a restaurant, he could've sung ballads to you with his violin in the moonlight, he could've cooked you a ten-course meal in your kitchen (how has it not burned down yet ?) -- you could never remember.

What you do remember, however, were the ways his hands (paws?) caress your skin, your face, your hair, rousing your body from a sleepy stupor. Times with Rocky means times where your breathing quickens, gasps and pants escaping your mouth; where your lips form words, which tumble like a waterfall, your throat working hard to talk after hours upon hours of silence; nevermind the neighbors, let them hear.

You don't remember what happens during your meetings, except for the times after where he holds you in his arms, stroking your back. The crickets chirp outside the window; moonlight falls through the glass.

At times like that you listen to his heartbeat, steady as a drum, and at times like that you recall the question you've asked yourself over and over again : When was the last time I felt alive?

And then you'll smile, move closer to him, and you'll say : When I'm with him. Outside the walls of your bedroom, time speeds up, time slows down. Days and months and years could pass outside, but in your room it's stopped for the two of you, a living memory frozen in time.

[fatuismooches]

SMOOOCHESSSS 🥹💗💗💗

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!

it’s so so so good hearing from you i missed talking to you so much ong I ACTUALLY LY STOPPP IM SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT YOURE DOING WELL💗 so so glad to be back as well teuehe

THE BREAKUP HIT HARD but it’s fine we move cus i caught that BITCH ASS flirting with someone else ALREADY sooo his loss 😌😌

onto my fictional boyfriends now because they can’t be dickheads

SWEET TOOTH DOTTORE MADE ME THINK OF LIKE BAKING FOR/WITH HIM specifically baking WITH akademiya zandik but ljke imagine if both him and reader suck ass at baking.. like by the time you’re both done it looks like you waged war with a cake loving raccoon and lost spectacularly. i also find it funny if tasted like ass too but both of you are too stubborn to admit so you wince and eat it anw

ALSO SWEET TOOTH DOTTORE X READER WHO HATES SWEETS it’s like olive theory<333

also allow me to be horribly self indulgent for a minute but roommate akademiya zandik after reader breaks up has been plaguing my mind

ANYWAYS ILL SPAM U SOME MORE IN A BIT <33 love being back in ur inbox i swear

- 🌕💗💗💗

AHH HAPPY NEW YEARS DEAR 🌕 ANON!! MWAH MWAH i missed talking to you too!! And gosh 🌕 anon i am so sorry he did that to you wtf?? You don't deserve that at all! I really hope you're doing okay from that, you deserve the world dearest 💗💗

BUT THAT'S SO CUTE... imagine reader after finding out their beloved Zandik has a sweet tooth, tries to be cute and all and bake him something sweet and yummy... only to miserably fail,, and Zandik comes home to smoke in the kitchen and you explain the situation in embarrassment. Deep down he thinks your attempt was cute but all you got was him telling you to clean up your mess. 😭 Even so to be honest I hc since Zandik can't cook he probably ate some things that were borderline inedible but didn't care because they sustained his body so, he might eat your failed sweets without batting at eye. 😭 (Unless they're so bad even he can't. That'd be a new record.) (ewkdbww i just know ready is devilish and playfully throws some flour at Zandik... he does not take that lightly)

WBQKDBW AND YES AWWWWH READER AND DOTTORE'S TASTES BEING OPPOSITE IS SO CUTE (i have an ask like that i need to respond to 😭😭🥹) ahh you not having a sweet tooth works out for him because he can just steal your sweets and you wouldn't mind... ❤️ PLEASE BE SELF INDULGENT I LOVE IT please tell me more about the concept but i am also scared at the same time because... a-angst. He would be so angry and upset and disappointed and sad and heartbroken and- so many things at the same time. 💔

[hajimine]

hey gorgeous!

i just woke up from my unplanned sleep — i remembered i was scrolling through my twitter around 7 pm and poof i lost memory *overslept* so here im now confused af like do u ever feel somewhat jetlag after sleeping at an unideal time🧍🏻‍♀️does that even make any sense🧍🏻‍♀️anw i stumbled upon ur anon self-ship w kuroo thingy ask and sometimes i ask myself if its healthy to self-ship myself w mattsun way too often bc it makes me happy but sometimes im scared id forget ab the reality lol — ik it sounds too miserable/depressing but i find myself doing this a lot if im not feeling well like i would just imagine fluff scenarios to brighten up my mood again or read some in this app ,, do u do that a lot too or are u normal 😔

im sorry coming up to u with my rambles — not even asking ur well being first ,, i was a bit too excited to talk to u 🥺🤚🏻 since being happy is p hard these days — i hope ur having an okay today <33 *kith kith*

[🍓]

hi bby!! oh no 😭 hopefully you can go back to sleep after this bc it’s so late now but aaaaa yes i do get that feeling!! i almost always feel disoriented after a nap please it’s not a good feeling 🥲 buttt about the selfship thing, if it makes you happy then please do continue doing it! it’s not harming anyone and i personally love my selfships and i love indulging myself in them, nothing wrong with that 😽 i love doing that as well pls you’re definitely not alone!! i have a collection of fluffy hcs at my disposal for me to read through when im sad,, and that definitely help make me feel a lil bit better :>

don’t worry about it mwah i love reading abt your ramblings!! i find it so sweet that you’re excited to talk to me bc i was so excited to see your ask in my inbox as well ☹️ im super glad today’s a good day for u ahhh and my day was pretty okay hehe,, hopefully tomorrow would be better :] how was your day pretty? did you get enough water to drink today? i hope you’ve been taking care of yourself mwahh <33