#another story with no name among too damn many

[natsaffection]

heyy this is my first time making a request and idk if it's okay but what if reader is like an anti-hero or villian and when reader gets hurt she shoves up to Natasha's apartment thinking she would maybe help her? idk if it works but I've been thinking about something like this and it would be great if you actually write itt😭😭😭

Lines crossed. | N.R

Avenger!Natasha x AntiHero!Reader

Warnings: Blood, Gore and injurys

Word Count: 2,6k

A/N: These are the stories I like the most. 🙏🏻 And I feel honored, that I can write your first ever request! 🏆

The city of New York was no stranger to chaos, but in recent months, a new shadow had begun to loom over its streets. This shadow was not the kind of evil the Avengers were used to dealing with..This was different. And this, was you, a name whispered in fear among the criminal underworld, a vigilante with a taste for vengeance and a history stained with blood.

You had risen to the top of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s most wanted list, a place usually reserved for supervillains and global threats. Your methods were brutal and unyielding, your sense of justice unwavering. To some, you were a hero. To others, a menace. But to the Avengers, you were a problem that needed solving.

“Another one,” Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, murmured as she stood over the lifeless body of a notorious gang leader, his blood pooling around him in a grotesque halo. “It’s her again.”

Clint joined her, shaking his head. “She’s getting bolder. This is the third one this week.” Natasha's eyes scanned the scene, taking in the familiar hallmarks of your handiwork. The precision, the brutality, the unmistakable sense of finality. "She’s not hiding anymore. She wants us to know it’s her."

Nick Fury appeared behind them, his expression unreadable as ever. "We need to bring her in. She's crossed too many lines, and now the media's starting to pick up on it. The last thing we need is a vigilante making us look incompetent."

Natasha nodded, her mind already running through the many encounters she’d had with you. Each one had been a battle of wills, fists, and wits. You were good, damn good. But Natasha was determined to be better.

You wiped the blood from your hands, your breathing steadying as you looked at the man you'd just eliminated. He had been a monster, a predator preying on the weak and innocent. You felt no remorse. In your eyes, justice had been served.

You knew the Avengers were close. You could feel their presence like a storm on the horizon. Especially Natasha. Your fights had become a dance of sorts, each trying to outmaneuver the other, each knowing that one day it would come down to a final, decisive confrontation.

Your phone buzzed, pulling you from your thoughts. You glanced at the message: another target, another mission. Your work was never done.

Back at the Avengers' headquarters, the team gathered around a holographic display of the city, pinpointing the locations of your recent activities. "We need to be strategic," Steve said, his voice calm but firm. "She’s not just any criminal. She’s trained, skilled, and she's got a mission."

Natasha’s eyes never left the display. She knew you better than most. She understood your motivations, your drive. And she knew that stopping you would require more than just brute force.

"It’s personal for her," Natasha said quietly. "And if we’re going to bring her in, we need to understand why she’s doing this." The team nodded, each member resolving to bring an end to your bloody crusade. But for Natasha, it was more than just another mission. It was a challenge, a test of her skills and resolve.

You moved through the city like a ghost, your mind focused on the task at hand. You knew the Avengers were watching, waiting. You relished the challenge. Each encounter with Natasha had pushed you to be better, sharper.

But you also knew that the game couldn’t go on forever. One day, it would come to an end. One way or another.As you prepared for your next mission, you couldn't help but wonder: when that day came, who would be the one standing? You or Natasha?

The city was alive with the sounds of sirens and distant traffic, but your focus was razor-sharp. You moved through the shadows, your target's location clear in your mind. You knew the Avengers were closing in, but you thrived on the edge, where danger and adrenaline fused into one intoxicating rush.

It didn’t take long for you to reach your target, a corrupt businessman with ties to multiple criminal organizations. You slipped past his security with ease, your movements precise and silent. As you stood over him, your eyes cold and unyielding, you knew this would send another message to the underworld and the Avengers alike.

Just as you were about to strike, the window shattered, and Natash swung in, landing gracefully on her feet, guns drawn. "Y/n, this ends now," Natasha said, her voice a mix of resolve and urgency. You smirked, stepping back to assess the new threat. "You always know how to make an entrance, Romanoff."

The two of you circled each other, the tension thick in the air. You made the first move, lunging forward with a series of rapid strikes. Natasha countered, your fists and feet a blur of motion. Each move was calculated, each strike intended to find a weakness.

The fight spilled into the hall, your movements fluid and fierce. You were relentless, your skills honed by years of training and combat. But Natasha was no less formidable, her experience and agility a match for your raw power.

In a desperate bid to escape, you knocked over a set of shelves, creating a momentary barrier. You dashed down the corridor, but your path was blocked by Steve. "Going somewhere?" Steve asked, raising his shield.

You didn’t hesitate. You launched yourself at him, your attacks relentless. Steve defended himself with his shield, but your sheer ferocity pushed him back. You knew you had to move fast. Every second counted.

A blast of energy struck the ground near you, and you turned to see Tony Stark hovering in his Iron Man suit. "You’re surrounded. Give it up."

With a quick glance, you calculated your options. You grabbed a nearby fire extinguisher, using it to create a cloud of smoke. In the confusion, you darted through a side door, your escape route planned to the last detail.

In the aftermath, the Avengers regrouped, frustration evident in their expressions. "She’s good," Clint said, rubbing his bruised arm. "We almost had her."

"Almost isn’t good enough," Tony replied, scanning the area for any sign of you. "She’s always one step ahead." Natasha looked at the ground, her mind replaying the fight. She admired your tenacity and skill, but she also knew that each encounter brought them closer to a dangerous tipping point.

"We need to change our approach," Natasha said. "She’s playing a game of survival. We need to make her see that we’re not the enemy." Steve nodded. "Agreed. We need to understand her motivations. If we can reach her, maybe we can end this without more bloodshed."

Weeks turned into months, and the chase between you and Natasha became legendary among the Avengers. Your reputation as a formidable adversary was solidified, but so was Natasha's determination to bring you in. Every encounter became a game of wits and skill, a deadly dance with an undercurrent of something more.

One night, Natasha found herself on a stakeout at a high-end nightclub. Her sources had tipped her off about a major criminal deal going down. She knew you would be there, drawn to the opportunity like a moth to a flame. Natasha blended into the crowd, her eyes scanning for any sign of her elusive target.

Suddenly, she felt a presence behind her. "Looking for someone?" your familiar, flirty voice whispered in her ear. Natasha spun around to find you, dressed to kill and wearing a mischievous grin.

"Yes, you." Natasha said, her voice steady despite the surprise. "You're getting bold." You chuckled, your eyes sparkling with mischief. "And you're getting predictable, Romanoff. I knew you'd be here."

Natasha moved closer, lowering her voice. "This ends tonight. You're coming with me." You raised an eyebrow, a playful smile tugging at your lips. "Are you asking me out on a date, or is this another one of your attempts to arrest me?"

Natasha couldn't help but smirk. "Depends on how you look at it." Before Natasha could react, you leaned in, your lips brushing Natasha's ear as you whispered, "Catch me if you can." Then, with a swift movement, you disappeared into the crowd.

Natasha's heart raced as she pursued you through the crowded club. The thrill of the chase was intoxicating, and she couldn't deny the electric connection between you. You were always one step ahead, leaving clues and taunts that kept Natasha on her toes.

The chase led them to the club's rooftop, the city lights sprawling beneath them. You stood at the edge, the wind whipping through your hair. Natasha approached slowly, her eyes locked on you.

"You can't keep running forever.“ Natasha said, her voice a mix of determination and something softer. You turned to face her, your expression unreadable. "I'm not running, Natasha. I'm fighting. Just like you."

Natasha took a step closer, her heart pounding. "We don't have to be enemies, Y/n.. Let us help you." Your gaze softened, and for a moment, Natasha saw the vulnerability beneath the tough exterior. "You don't understand. I've crossed too many lines. There's no going back for me."

Natasha reached out, her hand brushing your arm. "It's never too late to make a different choice. You can Trust me.“ You looked at Natasha, your eyes searching for something. Then, with a sigh, you pulled away. "Maybe in another life, Romanoff."

Before Natasha could react, you leaped off the rooftop, landing gracefully on a fire escape below. Natasha rushed to the edge, but you were already disappearing into the night.

—

One fateful evening, you found yourself cornered by a gang of criminals. You fought valiantly, but the numbers were overwhelming. By the time the dust settled, you were grievously wounded. Blood soaked your clothes, and every step sent waves of agony through your body.

Desperation set in as you stumbled through the dark alleys. You knew going to a hospital was out of the question. The police would arrest you on sight, and SHIELD agents were everywhere. You tried to treat your wounds in an abandoned building, using whatever you could find. With shaking hands, you attempted to stitch a deep gash on your side, but the pain was too intense and your vision blurred.

Realizing the severity of your injuries and your inability to treat them alone, you remembered, „You can Trust me.“ You had placed a small tracking device on Natasha’s shoe during one of your fights, anticipating you might need to find her someday.

The rain pelted the city in relentless sheets, washing away the grime of the day. You stood in front of Natasha's apartment door, your breath coming in shallow gasps. You leaned heavily against the frame, your vision swimming. Despite the pain, you forced a playful smile onto your lips. You had to get inside. You had to see Natasha.

With a trembling hand, you knocked on the door. It felt like an eternity before it finally swung open. Natasha stood there, her expression a mix of surprise and annoyance.

"How did you find me?" Natasha asked, her voice cold. You tried to straighten up, wincing as you did. "Miss me already, Romanoff?" you said, your voice weak but carrying a hint of flirtation. "Couldn't stay away.."

Natasha's eyes narrowed. "You've got a lot of nerve showing up here. Why are you here?" Ignoring the question, you leaned against the doorframe, your legs barely holding you up. "Thought I'd drop by... see your lovely face," you managed, your vision beginning to darken around the edges.

Natasha's patience snapped. She grabbed her phone, her fingers quickly dialing S.H.I.E.L.D.'s number. "Enough with the games. I'm done with this."

Your heart sank, your body swaying. You tried to take a step forward but stumbled, your strength failing. You collapsed into Natasha, who caught you out of reflex. As your full weight pressed against her, Natasha's eyes widened in horror. Blood soaked through your clothes, warm and sticky, covering Natasha's hands.

"Oh my God.." Natasha whispered, her phone slipping from her fingers as she cradled your limp body. "Y/n, what happened??" Your head lolled to the side, your eyes struggling to stay open. "Guess I... pushed it too far this time..“ you murmured, your voice barely audible.

Natasha quickly assessed the situation, her mind racing. "We need to get you inside.“ she said, her tone urgent. She half-carried, half-dragged you into the apartment, laying you on the couch. Blood pooled on the floor, and Natasha's hands shook as she grabbed her first aid kit.

"Stay with me, Y/n," Natasha urged, tearing open your shirt to reveal a deep, gaping wound along your side. The sight of old scars crisscrossing your chest made Natasha's heart clench. "God, what did you do?!“

She worked quickly, her training kicking in. She poured antiseptic over the wound, her hands moving with practiced precision. Your body trembled with pain, your fingers digging into the couch. "God, that burns," you whimpered, tears streaming down your face. "F-Fuck, Natasha, it h-hurts..“

"I know it does," Natasha said, her voice softening. "But I need you to stay with me. I don't have any narcotics, so this is going to be rough."

Your eyes were glazed with pain, your breathing shallow. "Just do it…" you managed to say. Natasha threaded a needle, her fingers slick with blood. She began to stitch the largest wound, her focus intense. Your body shook with each stitch, your teeth clenched to hold back screams. The raw pain was almost unbearable, and low moans of agony escaped your lips despite your best efforts.

"You're doing great," Natasha said, her own voice trembling. "Just a few more." Your fingers clawed at the couch, your knuckles white. "Natasha... please, hurry," you gasped, your voice barely a whisper.

Natasha's heart ached at the sight of your suffering. "I'm almost done," she said, her tone soothing. "Just hold on a little longer."

Your eyes fluttered, your strength fading fast. "Sorry... for your couch...and for everything," you whispered, tears mixing with the blood on your face. "I never wanted it to be like this.."

Natasha's eyes were full with understanding. "We'll talk about it tomorrow. Right now, I need you to hold on." She finished the stitches, then bandaged the wounds as best she could. Your body relaxed slightly, your breathing still labored but more steady.

"It's done," Natasha said, sitting back and wiping her forehead. "You're going to be okay." Your eyes closed, exhaustion overtaking you. Natasha grabbed a blanket and covered you, then sat beside you, holding your hand gently. "I'm here," Natasha whispered. "You're safe now. Rest and we’re sorting everything tomorrow out, okay?"

You whimpered softly, your body shaking from the pain and the cold. Natasha gently brushed a strand of hair from your face, her expression tender. "I never thought I'd see you like this," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

Your eyes fluttered open, focusing on Natasha with difficulty. "Guess... I can't always be the strong one.“ you murmured, a weak smile playing on your lips.

Natasha's heart tightened. "You don't have to be strong all the time," she said softly. "It's okay to let someone help you." You nodded weakly, your eyes drifting closed again. "Thank you, Natasha.“ you whispered.

Natasha squeezed your hand gently, "You're going to be alright," she said, her voice filled with determination. "I won't let anything happen to you."

As she sat there, watching over you, Natasha knew that this was a turning point. You had come to her for help, and that meant there was still hope. She would find a way to bring you back from the edge, no matter what it took.

Part 2

[felassan]

DA:TV spoilers/long post under cut. This post is a continuation of [this post] and [this post].

Reminds me of Crom Cruach. fitting for an Avvar :) where Rian the Red was a hero of the Fourth Blight, this Cruach the Wolf was a hero of the Third Blight.

A Dalish elf and former Keeper named Ifean who became a Grey Warden. sounds like they used they/them pronouns. :> I wonder if the Dryden here was Sophia Dryden, former Warden-Commander of Ferelden?

After First Days and Last Days come New Days. the Blighted Black City.

Clan Ersallae. New Dalish clan name dropped.

This environmental art of the tree-person coming out of the broken eluvian was so cool and beautiful and eerie, it goes really hard

The prop for the Executors Mysterious Circles codex points is exactly like the art of the same set of symbols in the secret ending :D

doing this with the art on those 'cards' was rly cool too. :)

Clan Sabrae reference! My lil Mahariel-loving heart is thrilled.

Deep Roads places which smell of seawater/ocean/sea/salt/brine - like in Horror of Hormak and the smell of the Executor in the last story in TN.

It strikes me that while "storm" is used in "Devouring Storm", which is connected to the Executors/enemies or those across the sea/the mysterious substance, here those very entities [?] are using storm language in reference to.. Ghilan'nain? Because here the storm that has been quelled is them saying "lol Ghil is ded now". The sun dimming is Elgar'nan's death obviously and wolf defanged is self-explanatory. this is ? - sun and wolf are obvious imageries for Elgar'nan and Fen'Harel respectively but "storm" isn't.. the first thing I would use for Ghil. yknow? Curious 👁️👁️ especially when it was Ghil's monster labs in TN that had the pools with the salt smell.

Adding this to my "pics of this damn thing" collection.

These halla-horn instruments sound so beautiful :') does Antiva standing strong with the Dales refer to this one?

This reminded me of [this] codex where the team are debating which Evanuris=which Old God, they suggest Urthemiel for June and Dirthamen for Dumat, and Neve adds that Dumat liked toads, asking did Dirthamen too? this memento seems to associate frogs with June.

We try to lead despite the eventual failing of our markings. To the inevitable and troubling freedom we are committed.

This reminded me of two things (I know that in the world it echoes the Titans'/lyrium's song, isatunoll etc): - the Stone-singers and Stone-singing in The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power - this excerpt from the Book of Taliesin: "The Awen I sing, From the deep I bring it"

Dumat's toad again.

Or... beyond it? "Forbidden" could refer to the Forbidden Ones, and the Fade is the land of dreams ofc, but it also sounds Cekorax-y, Cthulu-y, Voidy. (if not Beyond it, maybe a creature that's neither demon or spirit - things "past the Veil of our world, neither demon nor spirit".)

Satina mention ( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡ Thedas's Second Moon And Related Conspiracy you will always be famous.

Crows from one house can join another, if they get permission. there's also dialogue from Lucanis which says that the Houses sometimes try to steal promising Crows from one another.

Fun reference to one of Davrin's quests :>

Lucanis' attempt to woo Viago in days gone by.

Lucanis on having his first relationship.

lmao

New lore [?] - Crow Houses apparently sometimes recruit from armies or the trades.

Tarot/divination card decks with major and minor arcana including ones like Death and the Fool exist in Thedas. "We do not talk about Fight Club."

Shartan lore and also I am still desperate to know what "Glandivalis" / "Glandival" means.

Horror of Hormak reference q.q

Luck in the Gardens reference

Audric and Down Among the Dead Men ( •́ω•̩̥̀ )

Bellara and Harding discuss Ir sa tel'nal and isatunoll. Codex entry: Torn Notebook in the Deep Roads, Section 3 from DA:I -

Many of these pages are filled with sketches of elven statues matching the ones found in the area, along with notes and what look like attempts to practice Qunlat: Trying to remember that old bedtime song about Mythal. My mother sang it the night before the darkspawn came for my clan. It's the last time I ever heard her voice. Ir sa tel'nal, Mythal las ma theneras. Ir san'a emma. Him solas evanuris. Da'durgen'lin, Banal malas elgara. Bellanaris, bellanaris. Written beside each elven line is a corresponding phrase, likely a translation: I am empty, filled with nothing(?), Mythal gives you dreams. It fills you, within you(?), Making our leaders proud. My little stones, Never yours the sun. Forever, forever. Hahren said we had lost some of the old words. What if they have changed? Durgen'lin from durgen'len? Little dwarves, never yours the sun? What did Mythal do here?

Bellara on another meaning of this song.

[dailydemonspotlight]

I found out that you came back, so I wanted to request an interesting demon Yatsufusa, who I believe is a demon in literature than myth.

Yatsufusa - Day 109 (Request)

Race: Holy

Arcana: Hanged Man

Alignment: Light-Law

September 12th, 2024

The epic novel 'Nansō Satomi Hakkenden' is one of, if not the longest pieces of literature ever written in Japanese. Spanning 98 chapters and 106 booklets, the saga is an intense and winding read going over 8 separate people and how their stories each intersect, discovering their true origins and uniting together in Nansō. Among the many characters spanning the work's thousands of pages, however, one in particular caught the eye of ATLUS, it seems; a major character in the first act of the story, and one who is intrinsically connected to each of the 8 main characters- Yatsufusa.

The overall plot of Nansō Satomi Hakkenden is far too complicated to get into in this series, and I don't have the next few years to kill reading it, but it doesn't really matter for our purposes. Unfortunately, it's very hard for me to get a concrete English translation of the work, as I'm a broke high schooler who wretches at the prospect of spending over 10 dollars on something, so most of my knowledge and research about Yatsufusa is based primarily on summaries and analyses about the work. What we're focused on is the first act of the story, though, in which Yatsufusa makes his appearance, being the hound of Lord Yoshizane, and one to whom he offers his daughter's hand in marriage (seemingly in jest) if the dog could slay his enemy, Lord Anzai.

Surprisingly, the dog returns with the head of Anzai, and the lord begrudgingly offers his daughter's hand in marriage, to which the dog and her elope to a small cave. Naturally, neither of them really want to actually be married to each other- the dog likely did it just out of loyalty, and the young princess, named Fuse, doesn't want to be married to, y'know, a dog, but a curse sets in from years prior- a curse given to the Satomi lineage, the one that Fuse was part of, that the once noble and loyal heritage would become as depraved as dogs. However, Yatsufusa had formed quite the moral compass, and while the curse had set in and... well, they bore children (though seemingly not physically? It was just an aspect of the curse, so thank god no bestiality is involved. Still weird, though), said children were not born naturally and were instead given life as listless spirits, each of them seeming to represent different virtues of Confucianism belief.

The children were then set to possess separate beads, each of which being inscribed with said virtues, which are actually the eight beads surrounding Yatsufusa in his SMT design. Unfortunately, later down the line, the two were killed by one Daisuke, another major character in the story to my knowledge, who intended to shoot down Yatsufusa to free Fuse, though ended up killing them both. After the dog's death, the eight beads inscribed with each of the children's souls are scattered throughout Japan, and the story begins for real. Yeah, this was a prologue. You see what I mean by winding, right? I'll cut this short here so this doesn't become a straight up retelling of a summary, but despite being a somewhat minor character, this dog plays a major role in one of the most formative works in Japanese history.

In terms of design, in SMT, Yatsufusa is a rather simple case- a lot of the pieces of his design, such as the bell and the inscribed kanji on his head, each seem to be connected to separate aspects of the story, which I find to be a really nice touch. Of course, the primary focus outside of the dog itself, the beads, are each inscribed with the virtues in the design, though there's not much else to talk about. Still, it is a pretty damn good design, and one layered with symbolism. A really nice showing for this strange being originating from literature above all else.

[deepspacedukat]

Hey DSD!

Nonny here, do have a list of any writers you would recommend and maybe even one or two of their fics?

Would love some more reading material and thank you so much if you do end up sharing with me.

Hi Nonny! Absolutely, I do! There are a ton of amazing writers, both here and on AO3, especially for Star Trek since it's such a long-standing fandom. I will absolutely list some of my favorites, but please do not be afraid to explore the tags both on AO3 and here on tumblr, because there are a ton of amazing writers that I haven't encountered yet, and I'm probably leaving some out unintentionally. (I'm so sorry! My memory is like that of a gnat at times!)

Also, on my pinned welcome post under the "Keep Reading" there's a link you can click that will (hopefully) take you to all the posts I've tagged on here as fic recs! So feel free to take a look at that too!

I highly recommend any/all stories by the following authors, and beneath their names I'll list 2-3 of my favorite stories from each:

@creature-of-the-stars - on AO3 here as ToeBeansMcGee

"Weeds Among Stones" <- this is ongoing and brilliant and amazing and i love it 🥰

"Oh, Don't Mind Us" <- this is a oneshot sequel to another favorite called "Be Still" which is a multi-chapter that I adore 🫶

"Keep Your Enemies Closer"; the sequel "Rekkhai"; and the follow-up "Beyond Fortunate" <- just pure perfection *chef's kiss* 🤌

@bigblissandlove1 - on AO3 here as bigblissandlove

"The Raptor's Descent" <- many chapters and it gave us S'Talon and just utterly delicious 😍

"The Assignment" <- a gorgeous oneshot that gave me emotions 😭💖

"Surrender To Me" <- a long oneshot that made me fall in love with a side character 💚

@horta-in-charge - on AO3 here as Horta-In-Charge

"X Minus 1" <- it hab sad, wet-eyed Weyoun, I mean, what more could you want??? 👀💜

"Broken Covenant" <- cannot words enough to praise this sufficiently, so just go read it 🧡

"Fantasy" <- the emotions omfg THE EMOTIONS 😭💖

@starrynightgardens - on AO3 here as jaylens_twin

"Proposition" <- this fic and it's epilogue are gorgeous and I have read it so many times 🫶

"Things Unseen" <- this is an amazing multi-chapter fic and there are so many emotions 💚

"Regenesis" <- I...there are no words, this is so amazing 💜

@leopardcoffee - on AO3 here as Leopardcoffee

"Ashayam, I despise you" <- beautiful, chef's kiss, excellent! 💙

"Maroon" <- it's a wip and a damn good wip 🥰

"On Pause" &lt;- the angst omfg 😭❤️

@crowfootwrites - on AO3 here as CrowfootWrites

"Devotion & Diplomacy" <- as far as I know, this is the first Star Trek fic they've written, and it's an absolutely gorgeous wip 💖

@stay-neurotic - on AO3 here as stayneurotic

"A Prisoner's Needs" <- how do I even words about this??? 🥵💜

The entire "Keevan and the Spy" series <- read the tags before you start; this scratches a very specific itch ❤️

The entire "A Hostage Situation" series <- read the tags before you start; this also scratches a very specific itch 💖

@maybeamultiverse - on AO3 as maybeamultiverse

"A Matter of Security" <- it has young Vreenak, so how could I not adore it??? 💚

"The Vulcan's Limerence" <- Solok/Sisko!!!!! 💙

"War Birds" <- this is honestly such a well-written Letant fic. ngl, the whole fic is fabulous, but the first three chapters live rent-free in my brain and they always will 🥵

@emilie786 - on AO3 as Emilie_786

The entire "Discs" series <- apparently I'm v behind in this series, but I've read the majority of it and I am SO IN LOVE WITH HOW THEY WRITE SHRAN 💙

"Paranoid" <- this is...how do I even describe how much I love this fic??? 🫶

"The Hug" <- god, this is just SO CUTE 🥺

@foreverforty2 - on AO3 as forever_42

"His Eyes Speak" <- read the tags for this one; honestly such an amazing fic! 👀 (have I even talked about this fic here?? if I haven't, then I've been very remiss!) to be completely transparent, I haven't read any of their other works, because (I believe) most of the rest are Star Wars centered, and I don't know pretty much anything about Star Wars.

@indignantlemur - on AO3 as IndignantLemur

"Emigre" <- obviously this is on there. a fabulous fic, excellent, wonderful, stupendous, glorious! if you like Andorians, this is the fic for you! 💙

"The Stars Keep Watch" <- badass Andorian from SNW my beloved 🥰

@sleepycat82 - on AO3 as MeowMeowPowPow

"Grace Under Pressure" <- a gorgeous Letant/Reader/Vreenak fic that deserve a ton of love 💜

"Emergency Surgery" <- istfg one of the few good things to come from PIC is Krinn, and I'm so excited to see where this wip takes his character 👀

"The Wager" <- I literally just saw that this existed and I'm about to go start it. 💚

@ericbogosbian - on AO3 as Vorta_Scholar

"Testing the Effects" <- yes i'm outing myself as a Data smut enjoyer, but this...it's good Data smut 💛

Any of their Sito Jaxa/Vorik works 🫶

"Reprieve" <- omfg this is some good smut that i honestly didn't know I needed til I found it!! 💜

@attention-bajoranworkers - on AO3 as beyond_antares

"Just this once (and then once again)" <- this is a gorgeous wip and it will continue to be gorgeous. Dukat smut, my beloved 💖

"Moments" <- such sweet Malcolm fluff 💙

@schn-tgai-scripted - on AO3 as SchntgaiScripted

"A Good Vulcan Husband" <- this fic has made SUCH A MESS OF ME (in a good way, obviously) 💚

"See A Need" <- this was the first Vorik fic I ever read and I will always recommend it. it has some smut, some feels...i love it 💛

"A Bad Vulcan Prophet" <- read the tags; I...I don't even...I just love it 🖤

@brokenblade-legendarycreature - on AO3 as BrokenBlade

"Exceptional Airs and Dances" <- MORE WIIIINEEE 🍷

"Make It Harder" <- I feel no shame for the copious amount of times I've read this particular Dukat smut 💖

"Spa Service (Relief)" <- I just...yep. 💜

@love-at-first-contact - on AO3 as Graphite_crumble

The entire "Gwemmer" series <- Hemmer and an OC being adorable af. what more could you want??? 🤍

The entire "Vorik and Juna" series <- this pair is just utterly precious. I love them 💛

"Together" <- Vorik/Reader/Taurik fic...omfg I just...I have so many feelings about this 👀

@shibonoku - on AO3 as Shibonoku

Literally any of their Vorik fics. they're just absolutely fabulous 💖

Also, any of their Solok fics 💙

itsthemirrorforme on AO3 (no idea if they have a tumblr tbh)

literally all of them. read the tags first, of course, but all of them!! 💜

WikkityTweak on AO3 (no idea if they have a tumblr)

"Holosuite Number 3" <- This is THE FIC that made me fall in love with Senator Letant 💚 the author mentioned a potential sequel, but they haven't updated since 2016, so...for now i'll simply savor this fic's existence.

"True Weakness" <- this is an awesome Solok fic 🖤

@eyes-of-the-fox - on AO3 as dhiamn_aehallhh

"Small Tales" <- these are gorgeous stories; the Soval/Forrest ones are my favorite 💙

Honestly, all of their Maxwell Forrest/Soval fics are gorgeous 🫶

@the-stags-cave - on AO3 as StagofRomulus - alternately find vem on Quotev here as Stag of Romulus

"Ahr'ehraet Hru'rhaarhno: Season 1" <- half Romulan McCoy!!!!!!! Also McCoy/Spock SCREEEEE 💜

Admittedly I haven't read all of ver works, but vey are such a great writer, I can't help but recommend literally all of those stories!!

[grumpymiika]

♡ TW: Yandere, dark content, kidnapping

♡ Chapter 1 - The Illusion of Love

Among the rubble, on a cloudy night, she crawls. Seeking comfort, something far from all the turmoil and chaos she found herself in.

Shards pierce her skin, leaving evident marks on her soft skin, probably a scar for life. Even with the shards, she doesn’t give up and continues to fight for her life.

Sirens ring in her ears. She couldn’t think of anything, even with the potential help, nothing could pull her from the agonizing fear of death.

And that’s how she would meet him. He was a paramedic, and he saved her on the night of the accident.

Their eyes met for the first time. Was it love at first sight? She wouldn’t know how to say. Perhaps the fear of death brought feelings that shouldn’t exist. He quickly, along with his team, pulled her from beneath the remains of her beloved old car. Unfortunately, her father, who was also in the car, didn’t survive. His injuries were fatal, especially since he was behind the wheel.

Maybe the whole situation helped, after all. She was in her most fragile state, and he emerged as her savior.

Months later, the two were together. And how did that happen? Well... it’s a long story. Since she was rescued, this man never left her side; he was the one who saved her life. Perhaps that was the only thing she should be grateful to him for, as she hardly knew the direction this tragic encounter would take.

At her father’s funeral, the man showed up. An unexpected situation, but it warmed her heart.

"Hello. Good to see you doing so well."

"Oh... Hello..." She paused for a moment, searching for words that wouldn’t reveal her surprise.

"By the way, in case you don’t remember, I’m William."

William was his name. A name almost too old for him, but certainly ideal for a guy like him. He was too sweet, to the point of being sickening, like eating too many chocolates at once: it would bring an inexplicable feeling of joy, but as soon as you ate too much, you’d feel nauseous and want to spit it out.

At first, William’s constant presence in her life brought happiness and comfort. Having your savior as a friend sounds incredible, doesn’t it? Well... it was amazing until he showed his true intentions.

William was the type who always brought flowers and chocolates. It was a surprise when she happened to find him at a café, carrying a bouquet of daisies and a heart-shaped box full of chocolates. Of course, suspicion arose—who would bring such things to a café? Well, she was too caught up in his charm to think too much about it.

At her home, now filled with flowers, there was no room without the presence of blooms. Deep red roses, yellow daisies, and cyclamens... Ah, the smell. So sweet, just like him. But, just like the petals, all that sweetness would wilt and turn into something rotten.

Wilted petals, that was her love. Who would suspect someone so "sweet"? Well, not even she was able to notice his masked actions. What a shame.

As the beginning of this romantically sweet story unfolds, on a cloudy night, she runs through the woods. Pleasant sounds could be heard: cicadas crying, the rustling of trees, hurried footsteps on the ground... It would be ephemeral in different circumstances; there was no way such a cruel situation could be seen as anything other than a disaster.

As she ran, she thought about how she ended up like this. What went wrong? Ah... him, that scoundrel. How could she be so foolish as to really think he would take her to another city for an outing? Thinking back, maybe he really was in another city, as she didn’t remember such a forest in her hometown. No time to lose; she must keep running.

The gentle breeze brushed against her face, the smell of nature enveloped her senses, and the sound of other footsteps could be heard along with shouting: "Please come back! I swear I’ll be better." Damn, it was him. Out of breath, she hid behind a tree. A terrible hiding place, but she prayed it would be a good spot, at least until she could think of a way to escape.

What was that? A rock? Good!

The man, or rather, the panting and desperate creature, was approaching. He probably saw her, as he began to slowly approach the tree with steady steps. He whispered, "Don’t make things worse. I don’t want to hurt you."

Without hesitating, she turned and threw the large rock at William. He stumbled back, and a soft grunt escaped his dry lips. "Bitch..." he murmured. It didn’t take long for the two to start running. Damn, damn! She couldn’t hit him in the head, and he remained standing, now filled with rage.

She ran aimlessly forward, hoping to find someone who could help her, while he chased after her, almost catching up. Eventually, cries for help escaped her lips. Her screams caused an intoxicating sensation in William, one he didn’t fully understand. He craved for her to scream more, to plead for her life and beg for forgiveness. Perhaps that would calm his soul, and maybe he would forgive her for hitting him.

William threw himself forward, falling on top of her. They were both on the ground. She tried to push him off, hitting and shoving, but nothing worked. Already irritated with the situation, he got up, grabbed her by the legs, and dragged her to the cabin where he would keep her safe from the world.

"Let me go! Please..." she screamed, hoping for mercy from William. "It’s for your own good, my dear. Now behave," he said in a threatening tone, almost as if ordering her to shut up. She was taken to the cabin, and there she discovered what hell was like.

It had wooden walls, a mattress, and a fireplace. Being handcuffed near the fireplace was uncomfortable. She felt as if she was becoming one with the wall. William walked in circles, murmuring things like: "I love you so much," "it’s for your own good," which didn’t help her mood. She was going crazy.

How does this tragic story continue?

[wirewitchviolet]

Consider cloning one of these games...

So the other day someone was showing me the trailer to some neat new indie game they were getting into, and my immediate thought was "that does look pretty nice but FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING! INDIE DEVS, PLAY A SECOND GAME ALREADY!"

Presumably you've already guessed this, but it was a nice little handcrafted thing that was very plainly inspired primarily by Super Metroid. Even had those bubble-looking platforms. I'd say what it was specifically, but I already forgot the name, because, you know, I've kinda seen a few games do this before.

It's not like Super Metroid isn't one of my favorite games of all time, obviously. I'm one of the shockingly few people who played it when it was new and totally fell in love then. And it's also not like there aren't several games made in its image that I also love. It's just that there's way too damn many of them out there for anyone to play, and while I'd never be one to tell someone not to make the thing they want to make due to market saturation or whatever, I kinda feel like we're doing a huge disservice to our collective creativity and appreciation of classic games to all be so hyper-focused on putting our own spins on this one particular game, especially when it kinda knocked things out of the park back when this wasn't a genre it was just this one super cool game with, among other things, a compelling structure to it.

Like, I do love that Super Metroid became A game that's served as a focal point for indie devs to try and recreate. Back when it was first released it actually sold kinda terribly by Nintendo's standards, and didn't really have anything else out there trying to iterate on the concept until we eventually got the Castlevania series going that route, and Cave Story. But at this point, yeah, Super Metroid has been all canonized and studied to death and if you're the sort of person who cares about this sort of thing in the slightest you know all about how it ticks and the appeal and what other ways the basic premise can be pulled in. So it's well past time for people to take another game that's super great and fairly unique and use that as a jumping off point to make some new things. So I'm just going to ramble here a little about some real gems that nobody's ever really gotten around to trying to replicate.

Punch-Out!!

I want to say we're all familiar with Punch-Out!! but... are we? It's a famously difficult game, so odds are good you've seen speedruns or other challenge runs, but you really have to play it for yourself to see what's so interesting about it. A big part of the initial appeal of course was having these really expressive screen-filling characters, which isn't something we're lacking now. It's also real twitchy, basically unplayable towards the end if you're dealing with any sort of input lag at all, which isn't super unique these days, but structurally, the way it's coded, there's all this weird artificial drama to it.

Like, on the surface, it's a pretty straightforward thing. Enemies have tells for their attacks, you dodge those, you hit them in the resulting openings. But there's also the round based structure, knock-downs, and one-off gimmick mechanics in the mix. Officially, we're playing by the rules of boxing where the outcome of a match is decided by either knocking someone down and them not getting back up, knocking them down three times in a round, or running out of time and having to go to some judge's decision. But that's not REALLY how it works.

There's no random chance of someone going down and staying down. You've got HP meters, you take one down, your opponent falls over, waits until late in the count and gets up, forcing you to drain that HP down three times before the round ends, and if yours bottoms out, you get to mash buttons to stand up and have your other two chances. But then there's times you CAN take someone down, not only keeping them down for a KO win, but even getting there without your opponent bottoming out on HP first. The most famous example, I believe of both of these, being Bald Bull's charge. The big dramatic make or break where he just keeps using this special move which isn't terribly hard to dodge, but deadly if it connects, and dodging doesn't really help as he won't stop until the round ends, and then might spend the whole second round doing nothing but. You need to take that risk, and get that frame perfect stomach strike just before he connects to dramatically KO him and snatch victory from the jaws of defeat... or you can do this:

I was actually looking for an example of the all or nothing strike when I found this. If you don't face the charge in round 1, he gets into it sooner in round 2 to force the matter, but if you're still not confident enough to go for it there, turns out you can just drop him early into round 3 and have him stay down... and the only real consistent rule any of this follows is drama. Heck looking at the opening screen here, this person knows tricks for getting a KO on at least the first 10 opponents. Most of them I've always just taken the TKOs on myself. Point is though, the mechanics really run on drama. AI scripts change up if you move onto new rounds. Knock-downs turn into knock outs if and only if it fits a certain narrative. This sort of thing is super fascinating to me. Makes me want to look through the game's code line by line. And the only thing I can think of in any other game that even comes close is, of all things, the Ace Attorney series, with those scenery chewing meltdowns, and scattered scenes that "break the rules" with instant failure penalties or no-win situations where you're then suddenly saved by a friendly NPC's dramatic appearance.

I wouldn't suggest anyone literally try to make a Punch-Out!! clone. There's no real reason to stick to the boxing framework. I'd definitely advise against copying all the broad stereotypes. But there's a real unique soul to the drama-driven mechanics breaking stated rules I'd love to see people really digging into to gain a deep understanding of it and apply that to original games.

Yume Kojo: Doki Doki Panic

I'm not just being pretentious and refusing to say Super Mario Bros. 2. When it was Mario-ized, there were two huge changes- A run button the original FDS game didn't have, and the fundamental structural change of just having you finish levels with whatever character you like (or use warp zones to skip them entirely). In the original game, in order to see the proper ending, you had to play each and every level with each and every character with no run button. And that's neat, actually.

See, just as an example, there's a bit of a skip early on in both versons of the game, where you can avoid taking a door through some whole area by just leaping across a big waterfall. In Super Mario Bros. 2 anyone can do this, just needing a running start, but in the original release, there are no running starts. Either you can jump that gap by way of good airtime, or you can't. Depends which character you play as. Everyone has different stats, so being forced through the same full set of levels, there's a few little things like this where you have to alter your strategy to reflect the character you're running with at the time. That's cool. The whole mechanic of lifting things and throwing them, or riding on enemies' heads, or stacking blocks to reach higher areas or block fireballs, this is also just cool (and another thing SMB2 tweaked actually, play both and see for yourself).

I have seen literally one indie game that riffed on this idea, Curse of the Crescent Isle.

Umihara Kawase

If you've played it, you know. If you haven't, please just watch this speedrun:

Nothing has physics quite like this game. Nothing really has the same weird mildly distressing dream sort of tone to it either, or weird as hell branching level structure, or the weird system where the game has a time limit, but rather than giving a game over just makes it end after your current level. Other games have played with grappling hooks, but nothing I've ever seen has made me feel like this here is what they were going for.

Altered Beast

You know, I don't even particularly LIKE Altered Beast. I always thought it was a bit too short, a bit too simple, and still somehow it felt like you were just killing time until getting the power-ups that kinda make you invincible for the rest of the level.

There's... something here though. Somewhere with these bodies getting so bulky and beefy with no change to their heads and the voice samples and the sense of spectacle to it all, and yeah the dramatic gameplay shifts with the power-ups. I don't quite know what the secret sauce is, but if you find it, bottle it up, and slather it over something less shallow, you might really have something there.

Ecco the Dolphin

There is such a weird mix in the whole series of new age hippie save the whales vibes and genuinely disquieting horror just kinda seamlessly blended together. So much of it is the sound design, but the claustrophobia, the weird sense of speed, the constant pressure of drowning or suddenly being in the face of some huge nasty thing that'll basically one-shot you. The... unspoken but pronounced notion that this is set in a world where all of humanity died and are totally unremembered. There's a hell of a lot you could do with any of this, and the only game I can think of that comes close to hitting the same notes is Subnautica. Actually for that matter...

Subnautica

I don't want to get into what's so great about Subnautica here, because the most common sentiment I hear from people who have played it is they wish there was some way they could play Subnautica for the first time, again. Just... yeah. If you haven't already, play through it all completely blind, and if you can think of how to recapture all of that, do it, and put it in my hands without a word.

X-Com Apocalypse

So... X-Com is a truly amazing game that to this day feels like a unique enough beast it also wouldn't be bad to try and learn from, but there's actually a good number of attempts at clones already, none quite seem willing to get into the same levels of complexity, and there's the whole remade Firaxis series with a simpler take that a lot of games are using as a template. But Apocalypse? The original third game? That tried to do a lot of new and different stuff. I don't know how much of it didn't work vs. how much is secretly amazing if you internalize how it works vs. what's sort of half-baked per se, but there's some real ambition with mixing the original's tactical intricacies and destructible terrain and such (which somehow works even better with the realtime mode this one has), with this living breathing city. You aren't intercepting UFOs on a featureless world map. You've got a whole separate combat engine on a persistent map where stray shots can damage roads and cause long-term problems because the supplies you order get shipped via trucks that travel on those roads. Tons of factions you ideally want support from but can go attack and rob if they feel like lost causes. A tech tree with really dramatic progress and early discoveries that are either double-edges swords or genuinely just terrible things to try to use.

And then the endgame is really neat because instead of just one big final mission, you flip the whole script, and suddenly you're invading an alien city, picking targets to wreak havoc on and ultimately destroy, one by one. Incidentally this also did headcrabs before Half-Life so... I feel like it should be better known just for historical context.

Shadow of the Colossus

I know this is kind of a big technical ask, but why the hell were we not FLOODED with a whole generation of grandiose setpiece-y boss rush games after this first dropped? Perhaps more than anything else on here, someone really needs to get onto scratching this specific itch again, immediately.

I could totally keep going, but more importantly I'm sure you had some game that really left a mark on you that's been largely forgotten since, which I don't even know about, and you should really, if you're up to it, try and teach the world about it and how great it was by blending the old with something new of your own.

Just... draw from wider pools of inspiration, people.

[amanda-melly]

My Good Omens Season 3 fan project

I spent most of my day fleshing out "my 3rd season of good omens" and I have to say I'm pretty damn proud of it. It's structured in 6 episodes and all.

I don't know if I'll have the time and patience to type everything. I wrote it on a notebook. I'd actually prefer to make a podcast or maybe a video narrating everything, but I guess people prefer to go to AO3 or something like that...

Some "spoilers" of my headcanon:

* hilarious scene of Crowley doing confession in a cathedral in Oxford to get a chance to talk to the priest (Crowley wears a full body raincoat and extra padded boots).

* Aziraphale starts the story overseeing the 7 angels practice playing their trumpets (they need to be ready for when the 7th seal is broken) as part of the insufferably useless corporate routine the metatron imposed on him. Another one is supervising incense production. Lots of incence in the book of revelation.

* there's a crown court hearing/ trial taking place at Oxford (that's a real thing and real name, I didn't make it up) that moves the plot forward. There are 12 jurors as a reference to the 12 apostles (that's the real number of jurors for these cases). The trial at Oxford triggers flashbacks to Crowley's trial. Back in Crowley's trial, Aziraphale tries to testify in his favor but the heads of Heaven, especially the metatron, subvert everything he says to make Crowley (Starmaker back then) look guilty. An angel - none other than Pre-Fall Dagon - comes in as accusation witness, Crowley says hey, you rebelled too! And dagon says they were a special spy infiltrated under superior orders and all their actions will be pardoned in exchange for them testifying. Dagon's testimony seals Crowley's destiny, and later, once all the rebels have been sentenced, Heaven sentences Dagon to hell anyway claiming the deal was invalid because of some ridiculous technicality. Season 1 was a chase story, season 2 was a mystery story, season 3 is a trial story (not exclusively, of course, but it's important. The whole theme of the second coming is Christ judging everyone, one by one. There's no escaping the "judgement" theme here) (I'm a lawyer so I'm pretty confident to approach this theme).

* did you know that Milton Keynes was designated as a new town in 1967? Do you know what else happened in 1967 in season 1? And do you know that both Crowley and Aziraphale took credit for Milton Keynes to their respective head offices, in the book? Put 2+2 together and we get an amazing flashback including Aziraphale and Crowley's first ever dinner at the Ritz! (for reasons I already explained in another post, no, they don't kiss before the s2 scene, so hold your horses).

* possibly a flashback of Aziraphale and Crowley during the wars of religion in Wales that serves to showcase some of their conversations trying to understand Christ's message and why humans misanderstand him so much. It's included for a number of reasons: we need to have something in Wales for Michael Sheen (now that David Tennant got to do his Scottish accent!) plus they really should talk about how ironic and tragic it is that so many people have killed each other over religious differences concerning Christ's message of peace and love among all persons and all peoples. Including the commandment of not killing each other. Seems to have gone right past people somehow. (this flashback also helps to give us some lighthearted Aziracrow early on, because Aziraphale and Crowley only really hit it off again by the end of episode 3 and only really get back together in episode 4).

* a new human character named Abel J. Ryuss has an important role as well. His full name is Abel James Ryuss. We get some 4 ou 5 new human characters that are important to the plot.

* Crowley kind of calls attention on a new human prophet and "outs" him as a prophet by accident and the dude ends up becoming a famous influencer - aka the modern equivalent of a prophet.

* the story begins with 4 out of 7 of the apocalypse seals already broken (aka the 4 riders of the apocalypse). When the 5th seal breaks, the dead arise. When the 6th seal breaks, in episode 5, Gabriel and Beelzebub return. But they're foreshadowed in episode 4 by the appearance of a blue bird with a fly flying around it in a tree in the background.

* the trio of angels: Michael, Uriel and Saraquiel each makes very different choices and have very different endings. One is irrelevant, one is killed and one ends up as the supreme archangel.

* heaven has at least 3 different factions with different agendas working to their own ends simultaneously. Hell has 2.

* catastrophical destruction followed by huge battle.

* In the end Gabriel and Beelzebub become consultants.

* careful with those to claim to speak for God.

* a marriage at south downs - and it's not Crowley and Aziraphale's! It's another couple we love. Aziraphale and Crowley needed a reason to go to south downs in the first place. Then they can take a walk and stumble upon a lovely cottage that just happens to be for sale.

[sasubaeuchithot]

I was reading one of the comments on chapter 13 that essentially praised you for how the username YoungAndOverIntelligent was very accurate because your intelligence shows in your writing and I was nodding along saying DAMN STRAIGHT (might not be able to claim the title of no1 Sasuke glazer cuz that's naruto's job, but trust and believe I AM the no1 kh glazer, I will fight anyone who tries to disagree I fear 🤷‍♀️) and then I read your response and.

oh.

HOW DID I MISS THE ACRONYM NO OH MY GOD I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING I'VE BEEN SOOOOO BAMBOOZLED DAMN ITTTTTT THAT'S TOO GOOD UGH

Even in your inside joke of a username there exists humour indicative of high level smarts 😔

Okay but on a more serious note, I genuinely have to once more thank you for sharing your work with us.

I've sent an insane amount of Asks to you these past few weeks; at least, insane considering how rarely I generally send Asks, and how you're the only person I've sent more than two to.

Fanfiction has been a pivotal part of my life for as long as I can remember myself, and I find that it's an incredible way to, among other things, express your love for a piece of media, to make friends with people in the same community and give back to the fandom, to practice and hone your writing, and most importantly, to have fun.

It's very soothing to have a comfort read that perfectly encapsulates my thoughts and feelings on these characters and on the world that Kishi has carefully crafted but, in the same breath, basically wasted, in a fandom that I feel like so often misunderstands the point.

There are many fandoms I've been in, thousands of fics I've read, millions and millions of words consumed in the past three-four years, and hundreds of literary works (both fanfiction and not) that have, in some way or another, left their mark on me.

But Kizuna Hikari has always stood out to me the most. Maybe that sounds unbelievable. Out of all the beautifully written works I've read (the number of those is actually astronomical), I'd still pick kh over every single one of the works that have ever pierced my soul?

Yes. I can't put it into words, exactly, but there's a feeling that engulfs me every time I think about it that is so unique in its warmth.

Both because I especially love Naruto, multiple flaws and all, and because this story hits every mark that it's aiming for dead-on.

Not very many stories can achieve that.

Most fanfiction, no matter how gorgeous, or well-written, or enthralling, or in character, feels like fanfiction. This of course doesn't have any effect on how much I love it; the vast majority of the time, I long for that exact feeling of a fanmade work infused with copious amounts of the author's love and passion for their creation. It doesn't matter that it's fanfiction.

But there's a degree of believability in kh that brings about a different type of comfort.

Naruto's ending sucked. It makes me miserable to think about it. The Naruto fandom, for a fandom that insists on the show's greatness, collectively misses the point of an alarming amount of the story's arcs, characters, and overall essence in a way that has me seriously concerned for the world's media literacy.

But kh is so concentrated on, and deeply rooted in, the realistic depiction of a differing outcome and the consistently in-character portrayal of Naruto and Sasuke and their simple, but still incredibly complicated, relationship, without either of their ideals and convictions taking the backseat in the name of conventional romance; romance that also just doesn't fit these characters.

It's been three years since I first read it, and it continues to be equally wholly satisfying, and provides me with what I initially didn't even know was the idyllic, fleshed out exploration of the events following that final battle that I needed.

It also helps that I relate to/crave and ache for the, in my eyes, inherently queer type of love/attraction that exists between your Naruto and Sasuke way more than that of any other romantic love story that I've ever known.

In other words, the meticulous planning, loving effort, and skillful writing that make up your story have bewitched me, body and soul.

Wow, this took a direction I couldn't have foreseen. I only started this rant to whine about missing the YAOI acronym

okay you've turned me into an embarrassing jelly goop of a person on the floor over here 😭 I've trained myself to be good at taking compliments but this is making me blush and squirm because it is so beautiful and kind and like do I deserve this???? (yes i do, i keep telling myself, because I believe your sincerity but even my therapy trained brain is too flustered to work correctly 😭😭😭)

but lmaaaoooooooo i love when people fall for my username. the height of humor to me is making people think I'm pretentious but really my brain is just a twelve year old giggling at the word "sex"

[nampeung]

GMMTV 2025

I NEED to write my thoughts down. I'm so super excited!

I have made a bingo this year as well, but it was very wishy-washy because I just want to see my boys and oh boy, I got everything I wanted and more. I'll still post it here, just for funsies!

Dare you to Death

My very first thought was: "Oh no. Not some suspense mixed cast thingy with absolutely no BL. What a great start for me..." But then Joong popped up and I though "Well, if it's Joong, I might watch..." and then Dunk popped up and I screamed at my TV: "MAKE IT GAY! PLEASE, MAKE IT GAY!" and then...they made it gayer and gayer and I am so excited! The roles look great for them, the story looks exciting and I am very pleased they were the first trailer this evening. <3 I'm sure it will be a great story (though I know it's not quite up my alley. I'll still enjoy it so much!) Btw: Dunk looked STUNNING in his suit. Love the sparkles

Head 2 Head

I really liked Only Boo! so when I saw SeaKeen, I was very much: "Oh a sweet romance, just as expected! Yay, I'm glad they got another series!". And then he suddenly saw those images... And I wonder how heavy it will get. Because the whole of GMMTV2025 seems very supernatural and this is still on the low end. I am SO HAPPY to see Sea in a naughty role. He was cute in Only Boo but a bit awkward. He looks more natural here? And I love Keen. He seems like a big extrovert all the time, so this role fits him, as well.

Burnout Syndrome

No thoughts. Head empty. Just wow. I am so glad OffGun get another series. And then we get to see Off being a dick, which seems to be a role he can do really well, and IT'S A LOVE TRIANGLE. NO? YES? IT'S A LOVE TRIANGLE! :D I'm not saying I am missing love triangles in BLs, but it's nice to see one for a change! There's so many in my other shows, I am kinda excited to see one in a BL. It only means there's three pretty boys who can kiss around :D

I love the artsy feeling. I love the problems the show seems to tackle. I am excited for OffGun. There's no way I'll miss this show!

I love "A Lot Of" You

I have a very strict love-hate relationship with Nanon. That being said, I am not here to hate on him or love on him (or explain my relationship with him XD). I'll just say: I'll probably skip this one and damn GMMTV for making him look so cute in this show! Shame on them!

Whale Store XOXO

I just wanted to list it here for the list to be complete. I most likely won't watch this one. I am not too much into GL but I'm super glad they got their own series and that it looks cute like this! Love the name Maewnam a lot. That one alone nearly had me reconsider watching this haha But yeah, it looks sweet!

Only Friends Dream On

It took until Neo's face for me to understand that this is the "second season" of Only Friends and OH BOY. OH BOY. I was so confused when I saw Mix with someone. And then Earth came and I thought: yay, an EarthMix show! But HERE WE ARE, MESSY JUICY DRAMA! I am so here for it, especially because I have decided to adopt Leng into my league of special babies and he and Ohm did a wonderful job with Kidnap. I know not much of JossGawin, but they look hot and I am easy to please so we'll get along fine. I can't lie, I wasn't happy to see Neo/Boston again haha But everything else looks great. This will be fun. And among the other shows, it's the first really messy, spicy one so I really needed a show like that in this lineup! I am so glad they did the "second season" like this 💕

That Summer

Winny is my underdog and bias wrecker. I don't know what it is with him. I didn't even like him in My School President but since P'Q in We Are I am LOST. LOST I TELL YOU. I didn't even want to like him. So NATURALLY I am absolutely in love with this show and I can't wait to see it. Just...someone send Winny to me so I can show him how you do CPR? What is that? He thought "Oh, a Prince was washed ashore. Need to kiss him awake"? ANYWAY.... I am so happy this is a fluffy, cute, beach-y romance. It is MADE for me. Because it has WinnySatang, it has amnesia and a prince and then there's the guy who gets better (?) for his love. No, really, I am so excited and happy. They could have gotten any story and I'd be happy, but with the lineup this year this is just what we needed.

Also: someone get Neo out of my face. Especially when he looks this cute!? Go away! I don't want you! 🥺

My Romance Scammer

This was not on my bingo list but I like it! At this point of the show I got worried for all my other couples that hadn't gotten a BL show yet. Like...srsly. I thought we were already at the end of shows but oh boy was I wrong :D

So, I am very fond of JuniorMark, and with that it's already on my to-watch list, no matter what. I like the premise. OhmFluke look nice (I don't know them. Please don't make me like them haha). I'm excited for a good watch - and I'm glad it doesn't make me all giddy and impatient.

Melody of Secrets

My initial reaction:

BOOK! 😃

Creepy hand... ☹️

Dead person...! 😭

Force! 🥺

Sooo I'm very bad with horror or creepy things. Still haven't watched Peaceful Property because of it, though it definitely is on my to-watch list! (I'll watch it during Christmas break, because I'll have time in the mornings to watch a few episodes then). But that's not the point. I am not happy about creepy shows, but DAMN! This looks very exciting and like a good story and even with all the creepy elements, I am seated to know what the heck is going on with Tan and the murders! I like all kinds of stories, so this will be a good to mix into the rest of them! 100% on my to-watch list - not only for ForceBook but also for the story itself.

Love You Teacher

When I said I wanted a "parents" BL this wasn't quite what I had in mind, but baby steps. We're getting there haha I am watching Perfect10Liners (nobody is surprised) but I don't have a strong opinion on PerthSanta yet. I mostly think Santa's character might not be the best fit for him - but in here? I am SOLD. Why is this so cute? Why are they so sweet? Perth reminds me a lot of Yamada Ryosuke (from Hey! Say! JUMP, a J-Pop group) when he smiles here. His little "A bit" when he starts eating Santa and the noise when he realizes kid-Santa has disappeared are GOLD. I love fluffy romances and I'll watch and love this!

MU-TE-LUV

I would love to tell you something about this trailer, but I am as confused as I was the first time watching it. I have hardly any idea what it is about. I saw OhmLeng and SeaKeen. Ah yes, and Neo. But at least it was with Lego and Fluke. Anyway: I'll wait for more info. Might give it a watch, might skip. Looks fun, though!!

Cat For Cash

This is a 10/10 for me. Give them something new and fresh. I love cats. I like a good family story. Love FirstKhaotung. What is there to dislike? It doesn't even have any strange elements - like yeah, he can hear them talk, but at least Khao didn't turn into a cat or something. I'm 100% watching this!!

Girl Rules

Good for the GL girls! Good for the fans! Love it! A messy GL Only Friends style is good! I am excited for you! Let me know how it was. 💕 I'll check out the exciting gif sets on here :D

Boys In Love

New boys and old boys!!! As I said, I am super into fluff and this looks extra fluffy without too much drama and that already puts it on my to-watch list. Add to that the cast and how well made it looks and I'm sold! Case closed! :D

I didn't have many other thoughts while watching this. Mostly I was panicking like "We're giving the babies a series when JimmySea, GreatInn, PondPhuwin, GemFourth etc. don't have a series yet!? T_T" but there was no reason for me to panic :D

The Magic Prophecy

I had this on my bingo list and at first I was a tiny bit disappointed, because I wasn't sure if I even liked that story for them, I just had heard so many rumors... But looking at the trailer, I know that my heart is beating faster whenever Jimmy can hug Sea to his chest so I don't are what the story is. They will make this their own thing, they will draw me into their own world and they will make me fall in love with these new characters again. I love JimmySea so much! They are doing amazing and I was really relieved when they finally popped up. Nomnoms really deserve a series this year.

A Dog and A Plane

I was so surprised to see TayNew and my knee-jerk reaction was "Is it another Bromance?" - but then everything got intense very fast and oh my, the dreamy lines Tay knows to deliver. My heart... And then there's MarcPoon! Poon also managed to grab a special place in my heart and that automatically drags Marc with him - but I have to laugh sometimes about Marc's version of "dreamy loving eyes". Please don't get me wrong, I really love him. But he looks a bit like a serial killer docking onto his next victim at times? So THIS ROLE IS PERFECT FOR HIM! A little thug and suddenly his facial expression makes a lot more sense! Though in his defense - he's doing a lot better in P10L already than he did in We Are. So I'm extra excited for this series!

It looks like a good story, a fun plot, dreamy Tay and fun Poon. I'll instantly watch this one, too!

Me and Thee

Last year I instantly recognized Pond's voice when he did his voice over for Leap Year. This year, I listened to Phuwin yap and had to see Pond until I realized what glorious story was presented to me!

I'm getting cute aggression just looking at the trailer. It's not enough that Phuwin is getting more gorgeous by the day, they have to put him into a story like this, where he kindly teaches an absolutely adorable Pond how life works. It's surreal and stupid, but I love those stories. Why is he so sweet when he looks at Pond in a way that seems to say: "You're so ridiculous, how did I end up falling in love with you?" - it's already what he did in We Are a lot and did I mention that that show was probably my favorite this year?

So yeah. I'm super excited. It's that kind of trailer that has me sitting here, smiling happily and not noticing how time passes, because I am where I want to be: looking at two gorgeous guys in a story that makes me happy. I'm super excited for this!

Wu

Ah, yes. A show about Bromance. Look, I don't know what the trailer wanted to tell us, but I'm intrigued. I like that connected-by-fate trope. I just...don't know how much else I'll like. So I'll stay tuned! The trailer looks fun, though!

Memoirs of Rati

I need a bag to breath into. This is AMAZING. It's GreatInn. It's a period series. It's everything I want and more.

Now... I am disappointed AouBoom don't have their own series this time. But you know what? I'm a strong believer of things come the way they are supposed to. And what better project to put them into as the side couple than this one? I can't wait to see them act these characters out! I am so excited for all the angst, the drama and the historical setting, I really can't contain my feelings. This definitely is top 3 of my most anticipated series next year. Might be the number one, if I'm honest, because I am just so fond of all the things in this show. I really hope the script and story are great, because they deserve it. Please give it a proper budget. 💕 I'll be sitting there, ready to watch the premiere. I'll even say give it time to be produced properly. I'm ready to wait. Just make it happen.

Ticket To Heaven

THIS IS IT! THIS IS IT THIS IS IT!! When I wanted GemFourth to get a good series, THIS IS WHAT I WANTED! Why did we have to waste time and money on a half-assed My Love Mix-Up when THIS WAS THERE? This shows they talent and their versatility. WHY WASN'T THIS LAST YEAR ALREADY? I am so angry! But I am so happy! THIS IS AMAZING! Father going "Guide him back to God's path" and me thinking that Gem's character will be doing the guiding... Oh, bittersweet story. If the trailer has me in tears, you bet I'm gonna cry in the series. I'm ready. Get those tissues out. I'll feel devastated and happy and sad and guilty with you. This will be absolutely perfect.

Conclusion

So... I am impressed. I am excited for most of the shows. I am so happy with the variety of genre and settings. I am even more impressed that we seem to be getting literally ALL OUR BOYS in one way or another. Yeees, not all of them are leading roles. But it's okay. If this year works out well, we'll get another chance next year. I am just really glad that GMMTV is going this road next year and I will do my utmost to not have them regret it. I will throw my money at them because that's what P'Tha deserves for this brilliant line-up. I was so excited for most of the trailers, I really can't imagine what else he could have done better AouBoom main series. So THANK YOU P'THA!

Also, I didn't include it because it's not a series, but: I AM HYPE FOR LOL2025! I will try to finish my fanfiction based on LOL2024, because I have high hopes that the next theme of LOL will be another round of inspiration. I'd love to have another story born from their concert 💕💕

And I will be ready for their game. It looks cute and I am weak for these types of games. I am weak for those games anyway, so why not put some money in there?

Now excuse me. I need to go to sleep so I can go back to work and earn that money that's needed to support my boys. 😂

My Top 3

My most anticipated shows from this lineup are:

Memoir of Rati

That Summer

Dare you...okay no, I can't decide. There's so many good ones. Dare you to Death, Ticket to Heaven, Me and Thee, Melody of Secrets, Only Friends... If you make me choose, it'll pick Me and Thee. Because I'm a fluffy girl. But I'm excited for them all.

[land-of-holly]

Rings of Power Season 2 Episode 8 Liveblog

hmm I thought the title would be more...striking? it's a nothing title

whar weird tortures is durin gonna do to his dad?

now thats the kinda kissing i like to see

bla bla balrog

more yelling? more threats?

wait i thought he was almost dead. what they came down here just to let him dig more?

im sure if i knew anything about caves this would be very annoying

durin jr isnt fooled

surprise me i beg u

i don't buy that this is what breaks King Durin free of the ring. Doesn't feel earned

balrog looks cool ig

and now it goes away for another few k years?

have we seen eye iconography before? not surprised that evil throne guy would yoink it

blue wizard reveal??

wow this guy is quick to trash talk his allies

'pity will not defeat sauron' okay it sounds heavy handed TO ME but I didn't say I hated it

this whole plotline feels like it's building to a climax it didn't earn

like we're just getting to know evil wizard guy and he feels very generic villain

the stranger finally has good power control tho

so they're gonna execute all those faithful guys yah? or this is an engagement announcement?

So he's maneuvering them to move against sauron now? YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST MADE TWO MORE EPISODES

do like the white tree imagery

where...are they? restaurant or sm I guess

girl u are gonna have to pick a side too

ANARION MENTION Did anyone not already in the know remember he exisited?

such a pretty dress

narsil!

so do the orcs have an ordered objective besides sack the city?

DON'T GIVE HIM MORE RINGS GIRL WTF

annatar no

HE'S STILL DOING IT STILL WITH THE LIES

the torture!

celebrimbor you're such an elf

NOT THE SHORES OF THE MORNING CELEBRIMBOR THE SHORES YOU WANT ARE IN THE OTHER FUCKING DIRECTION

torture extending life preservation tech confirmed

put that spear down or so help me

banner we've done it fam

the lord of the rings... okay, I CANNOT not let them have this

sauron's "...oopsie i killed him" face is fuckin hilarious

hi glug!

love that sauron never answers to 'sauron' it's always 'i hAVe MaNy NaMeS"

if this is all we get of the bannerage i'll be content but i'm getting the impression this is only the beginning

idk if we've gotten a wide shot of pelargir before i like the huts among ruins look

my boy theo

he is asking for help with his grief! progress!

did u hug arondir like that b4 he left??

nah man that's estrid

her whole deal can't be a romantic red herring

girl you have known him for like a few days stop this like i'm happy for you two but

y'all they tell stories about kings who marry low men they end badly

kemen what the fuck are you doing here

wow kemen's face went on an entire world tour there when he saw isildur

omg he is so bad at this slimy courtier stuff

everyone say yay berek!

isildur tell him

NOT THE HORSE KEMEN ARE YOU TRYING TO INCREASE YOUR DISAPPROVAL RATING TO 100%

the deforestation!

galadriel i stg how do you keep getting kidnapped.

..adar what happened to you

i cannot believe y'all who were predicting elf adar were correct. i hate this but not in a 'this was a bad writing decision' way ya feel?

adar is no one in particular confirmed?

why is he giving he the ring? does he really intent to treat in good faith?

galadriel is that true about your kill count

forgiveness again

i want normal adar back. i don't care if it makes sense

how often  do orcs tend their injured normally?

betrayal!

oh heck

its him

i think adar always wanted to die this way one day

damn girl maybe if the foley guys didnt make ur sword so noisy you coulda snuck up on him

crown of morgoth makes a hell of an offhand weapon

they can't even give gilgalad non boring lines

ARONDIR

nonzero chance sauron would want to keep all the lore of eregion but probably considers the destruction of eregion worth it

did not expect sauron to be the one going over that edge

OH NO HIS ULTIMATE WEAPON his pretty pretty face

spooky i like it

shapeshifer fight!

'the door is still open' obvious setup but i'll give it to them it was thematically appropriate

...i guess the difference is the fight for the 9 he was destined to win

DURIN!

narvi at least!

there'a no ocean there girl if you don't survive that fall he's just gonna go get it

she didn't even make it to khazad dum

damn glug pays the price of treachery

celeborn come get ya girl

oh hey arondir

totally believeable the crown of morgoth would do that to a wound. still don't like it. seems contrived.

get it elrond

damn nori looks so sad that her friends got their homes smashed

Mr. Burrows was wise. Sometimes acceptance is the only way to move forward

so is nori going with the stoors or home?

uah uah ya got yer stick

props overall to tom being a recurring caracter this season

thank you for explaining it all for us stick guy

shut up about his name

now you're just flexing with the singing

i can't fault durin having an unknown brother after the anarion business

the lighting in rivendell is very pretty

they didn't even say where they were, I admire their restraint.

Definitely bit of a hammock season, but a very good one overall. I felt like this should have been episode 9 and they DESPERATELY needed an episode before to bring everything up to finale time.  The final confrontation with sauron should have been maybe 50% less swordfightey and more mindfuckey. Overall a decent ending though!

[hellsbells88]

A Fool’s Grief

Micah encounters Lenny by the river, grappling with sorrow and the bottle, and in the heavy night air, he offers his own brand of solace — cold, hard truth.

It was a loud, sticky night in Lemoyne. The heat and the cicadas made for difficult sleep. By the river sat Lenny—his figure a silhouette gripping a whiskey bottle, something he wasn’t known to do.

In the shadows behind stood Micah, cigarette in hand as he narrowed an eye at young Lenny. The ember of his cigarette glowed in the darkness, casting a faint light on his rugged face. Micah rarely slept and patrolled often, he wasn’t used to finding anyone awake with him, especially in such a state.

Micah’s boots crushed the underbrush as he approached from behind, ashing his cigarette in the air. The sound of his boots on the dry leaves broke the stillness of the night. “What's eatin’ ya?” He asked, his gruff voice cracking through the atmosphere, a trail of smoke curling up from his mouth.

Lenny looked up, his eyes flickering with surprise, fading with a scoff. “What do you care?” he retorted, his voice laced with a mix of bitterness and sorrow. "Don't pretend you care, Micah.”

Micah grinned, taking another slow drag from his cigarette, the smoke mingling with the humid air. “Didn't say I cared,” he replied. “Just came to my usual spot, and here you are… ruinin’ my view.”

There was a pause. Lenny's shoulders slumped with the weight of grief.

“It’s… Jenny,” he spoke quietly. “I… never told her—” He stopped, wiped his nose. “There’s.. many things. I loved her, Micah.”

Micah was quiet, his eyes sharp on Lenny. Jenny's name hit something in him, but he didn't show much. Then he spoke, voice hard and unfeeling.

“Well, listen. Can’t expect no wise words from me,” he said bluntly. “Everyone dies. But you? You’re alive, so best act like it, while you can.” He sniffed. “You're young. You'll get over it.”

His words were stark and harsh; Jenny meant nothing to Micah. She was just one fleeting encounter among many. His empathy was absent, stark against Lenny’s obvious mourning.

Lenny gazed at Micah, his eyes showing anger and grief. “Sure. You would say that,” he muttered, fingers tightening on the bottle. “You never cared for no one but yourself.”

Micah’s grin returned, but there was no humor in it. “You’re a damn fool to care like that, and I ain’t trying to be hard with ya—look at yourself.” He gestured to Lenny with his cigarette between his fingers, the ash falling to the ground. “Learn from it.. or die from it.”

Lenny's gaze followed Micah, his voice tight and bitter. “And what do you know about love or caring for anyone?”

Micah's smirk became broader, showing a past Lenny could never imagine. Young Micah was a magnet for women, their eyes curious and wanting. They followed him in towns. He engaged in short-lived love affairs, window hopping to escape in the late hours, often having to physically peel these women off of him—viewing their affection more as an irritation.

“Wasn’t much for courting, true enough—never appealed to me,” he voiced, nonchalant, the cigarette bobbing between his lips.

Micah’s eyes wandered, taking on a distant, almost longing look. He absentmindedly twisted the cigarette between his fingers, occasionally brushing his lips as if recalling a memory. His tone softened. “Let me tell you about this young girl,” he began, voice briefly faltering, pausing to clear it. His hands lifted in a gesture of confession, “She was too young for me to be playin' with, I can admit that now—“

He cleared his throat again, as if to underscore his admission. “I was about your age, 'workin' with my daddy on a ranch.” His smirk suggested darker, possibly illicit undertakings. "She was the rancher’s daughter.”

Micah emitted a low groan, his mind visibly awash with vivid memories. He took a moment, lost in the recollection of the young girl watching him work. Resuming his story, he said, “Oh, her intentions were clear enough. She was always there, waitin’ at her window, as naked as you please, knowing exactly when I’d walk by.”

A deep sigh escaped him, his eyes shimmering with a mix of fondness and regret. He cleared his throat, seemingly trying to anchor himself back to the present. “We had many a hidden, heated night there, sneaking around that damn property.” He flicked ash off his cigarette as he spoke, a subtle reminder of his habit.

He quickly shook off the momentary lapse into sentimentality, making his voice louder, gruffer. “But—all in the past,” he added briskly, regaining his usual composure. “Fleeting moments, nothin’ more.” As he spoke, he took a final drag of his cigarette, the smoke briefly obscuring his hardened expression before he casually tossed the remainder into the lake, watching the embers hiss and die out in the water.

Lenny watched Micah, a complex mix of emotions playing across his face. Despite his disdain for the man, he couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness for him. “What happened to her?”

Micah hesitated, an unusual occurrence for him. He sniffed dismissively, as if to maintain a casual front while he gathered his thoughts. “She kept comin’ around, more than she should’ve. I’m a man, ain’t I? I couldn’t resist.” There was a pause, a rare moment of introspection. “We were s’posed to clear out by spring, but I hung around. Oh.. I wanted her.”

Micah's next sniff was more pronounced, his expression hardening against sentimentality. His voice gained a defensive sharpness. “It made me weak. All that ‘caring’, wanting... it’s for fools. My daddy, he was hard as nails—he made me deal with it.”

Lenny's eyes narrowed, intuiting that there was more beneath the surface. “So, you just... cut ties? Just like that?” he pressed, sensing a darker truth.

Micah's jaw clenched, a shadow briefly passing over his features. “No. Weren’t as easy as that," he growled lowly, his breathing becoming rougher, the night air amplifying each sound. “The rest is none of your damn business!” His words came out almost like a hiss. “She’s gone. I took care of it, end of story.”

A cold shiver hit Lenny, realizing the full extent. Micah hadn’t merely broken off a relationship; he had taken a life, at his father’s bidding.

Micah’s face went emotionless, all feeling masked by a show of grit. He wiped a bead of sweat from his brow, a small testament to the humid night. “Like I said.. You’ll get over it.” His tone was final, echoing in the stillness, as he turned away, leaving Lenny with the heavy silence and his own turbulent thoughts.

[ludinusdaleth]

Ira Wendagoth and Lord Asriel

ooooh cr and *hdm*! wasnt expecting the latter thank you

for ira:

First Impression: so, heres the funny strange part. as matt described him i realized he looked exactly like a LOVER i had in a recurring dream. a noseless fae monster. i am still trying to process that the nightmare king was in my dreams. additionally the second matt namedropped ira many of us went crazy knowing that was also the name of a somnovem member.

Impression Now: my terrible husband <33

Favorite Moment: when he talks to the bells after realizing they're on the same side and you see his harsh creepy exterior partially give way to a new level of friendliness, and all of his actions in the kreveris infiltration, namely watching him become fearful seeing his former bosses and using his highest spell slot to save fearne

Idea for a Story: id love a general book or comic of his backstory and pov in this campaign!

Unpopular Opinion: oddly enough it doesnt seem like finding him hot is unpopular? hes the hot boy of this campaign and im surprised & pleased with that! so i assume my actual unpopular opinion would be that i genuinely rarely find what he does as too cruel or evil simply because the context of a fae doing it makes it kind of funny & natural. am i supposed to be mad at him when hes having a laff

Favorite Relationship: with fearne, laudna, fcg, ludinus, ashton, & morri

Favorite Headcanon: while i think he naturally looks how he does, like to assume he has a shitton of caustic burns and old scars that add to his design. he never had lips but maybe the area around his face is cracked & peeled like dead skin. his ears are still long & sharp but insanely battered and clawed to shreds. and maybe he experimented on himself to "enhance" his body.

for asriel:

First Impression: he was actually among the first characters i knew of in hdm. a mutual nonstop reblogged gifs of him and i was intrigued by the aesthetic & story promise of "james mcavoy in another ya adaptation where he looks harsh as hell, seems distant to his kid, has a snow leopard, and is staring at beautiful northern lights"

Impression Now: oh hes sooooo ludinus coded

Favorite Moment: stated above, the scenes of him in book one in the north, and also, of course, him sacrificing himself with marisa coulter to kill metatron

Idea for a Story: i think his purpose in the story is pretty fullfilled but id have liked to have seen his reaction when his daemon became a damn snow leopard, the coolest thing it possibly could have settled into being

Unpopular Opinion: i think maybe im not as crazy as everyone else seems to be about him & marisa as a couple but good for yall

Favorite Relationship: his scenes with lyra are brutal in all the best ways, and it's funny to say his best interactions are with a fragment of himself but i really enjoy any scene with him & stelmaria

Favorite Headcanon: him & ludinus would have every reason possible to get along except theyre too similar including in snootiness & arrogance (even if lud doesnt believe he has any lol) the two would fight SO much and give everyone in a 70 mile radius a headache

[alpydk]

Hello my angst loving friend! 🫂

What is your favourite book - or if it's a struggle to choose one, what are your top 5?

Thank you for the ask. <3

Top 5 books... there are so many good ones, so I'll give in no particular order. - Expect waffling and the blurbs for each and a favourite line from each.

Battle Royale - Koushun Takami

"A class of junior high school students is taken to a deserted island where, as part of a ruthless authoritarian program, they are provided arms and forced to kill one another until only one survivor is left standing."

It's vicious, it's graphic. I've read this book so many times from cover to cover and it's just a good every damn time. I recommend everyone read this, the movie is so close to it which I love but the characters become so much more impactful.

“You all have your own distinct personal backgrounds. Of course some of you come from rich families, some from poor families. But circumstances beyond your control like that shouldn’t determine who you are. You must all realize what you’re worth on your own.”

John Dies at the End - David Wong

"My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrock, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. It is crucial you keep one thing in mind: none of this is my fault."

I read this when it was a pdf/text doc online during my job in a call centre. The book is a wild ride of drugs, sanity questioning, and shit that you'll remember suddenly when you least expect it.

“Let's say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead a man. Don't worry, the man was already dead. Or maybe you should worry, because you're the one who shot him.”

I have no mouth and I must scream - Harlan Ellison

"The story is set against the backdrop of World War III, where a sentient supercomputer named AM, born from the merging of the world's major defense computers, eradicates humanity except for five individuals. These survivors—Benny, Gorrister, Nimdok, Ted, and Ellen—are kept alive by AM to endure endless torture as a form of revenge against their creators. The story unfolds through the eyes of Ted, the narrator, detailing their perpetual misery and quest for canned food in AM's vast, underground complex, only to face further despair."

I can't even remember where I came across this. Probably @s--mine and the video game? Either way you want angst, this is it through and through. There is no happy ending, there is no saviour mary sue. There is only pain and gods will I go through it again and again. Truly a masterpiece.

“The explanations a writer gives himself for having written any particular book are more often not the real reasons why that book has been written. Honesty is not the issue. Understanding is. A man does not write one novel at a time or even one quatrain at a time. He is engaged in the long process of putting his whole life on paper. He is on a journey and he is reporting in: ‘This is where I think I am and this is what this place looks like today.’” The”

Blindness - Jose Saramago

"A city is hit by an epidemic of "white blindness" that spares no one. Authorities confine the blind to an empty mental hospital, but there the criminal element holds everyone captive, stealing food rations, and assaulting women. There is one eyewitness to this nightmare who guides her charges—among them a boy with no mother, a girl with dark glasses, a dog of tears—through the barren streets, and their procession becomes as uncanny as the surroundings are harrowing."

I initially saw the movie of this with Mark Ruffalo and Julianne Moore and fell in love with it. No characters have names, they only have the actions they play in the story. The layout of the book is written in such a unique way that almost makes it difficult to read, but it's a work of art through and through. Again an awful lot of angst. I know what I like and it's all psychological. If you're not up for reading it, I 100% recommend the movie because Julianne Moore blows it out of the fucking water with her character.

“…the habit of falling hardens the body, reaching the ground, to in itself, is a relief.”

1984 - George Orwell

"Hidden away in the Record Department of the sprawling Ministry of Truth, Winston Smith skilfully rewrites the past to suit the needs of the Party. Yet he inwardly rebels against the totalitarian world he lives in, which demands absolute obedience and controls him through the all-seeing telescreens and the watchful eye of Big Brother, symbolic head of the Party. In his longing for truth and liberty, Smith begins a secret love affair with a fellow-worker Julia, but soon discovers the true price of freedom is betrayal."

A classic that I recommend to everyone. It needs to be read, question your surroundings, question what the government force feeds you day in day out. Do no accept anything but what you feel for that is the only thing that is ever really true. I devoured this book in less than a day, it's online as a pdf so go find it. There are no excuses for having not read this,

“Power is in tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing.”

---------------------------------------

My partner says I put to much into this but what do they know. I enjoy talking about books and movies and games. (I like talking.)

Shout outs to other books not on the list:

The Combat K series When Hitler stole pink rabbit Lullaby Children of men We need to talk about Kevin The Witcher Series Do androids dream of electric sheep? The fifth mountain And so many many more I have on my shelves.

[januaryembrs]

Hello hun, hope you’re well ,

So listen, I am the anon that had posted before about how your writing is something else. I haven’t been here in a while but among other things, you kinda resurrected my Reblog and Fic phase lol. I have so many things to say and it felt dishonest to do so anonymously. You have a knack man. You write like you were born with a pen in between your fingers.

You know, Jane Austen had a knack for romance. She wrote it like no one else ever has. She wrote with words that would suck you in and brand your heart with a hot iron. Made sure no one who read any of her books would ever forget her. Shirley Jackson was almost unparalleled when writing mystery and horror. So many of her stories, no matter how many times I’ve read them or reread them, still get my skin to crawl and the hairs at the back of my neck to rise. And I could go on and on about so many other authors but I really just want to talk about you.

Usually, I come to fanfiction for sweet romance. Unattainable love to satiate a yearning. Blah blah I love love lol. But I found you. Gosh, Em. (I’m assuming I can call you that, it’s the only name I saw, Sorry) Angst is such a hard thing to write. And a lot of people disagree because everyone has felt pain so everyone can describe it. But you don’t just write angst, no. You rip my heart out from my chest and make me watch as you fiddle with each of my nerves. You don’t just write angst, you feel it with words. You somehow are able to hook with each sentence and make me feel your words. It’s almost like a sirens song. You lure me in with promise of a story and leave me bruised and battered. But content.

I really wish my words convey what I’m trying to say. Honey, people fuck up angst so easily. Sometimes they make it too rushed or too harsh, too unbelievable or too exaggerated. But you? You write it like the heavens themselves created suffering after your work. And some people might think that it’s just another fanfic, but gods no. This is something else entirely. I hope you take this as the birth of your own genre, because you’re unique. Millions of books by millions of authors that will write sweet suffering yet none of them reach the soles of the ginormous boots you have on.

And don’t get me started on your imagery. On your descriptors. On your tone, your pace, your everything. I could talk about you and your work, (and already have) for literal days. You are something else hun.

Now, confidently with my name attached lol, I do want to know whenever you post your book. Whether a short story or a multi book that rivals game of thrones lol. I will pay an unimaginable amount of money for that. That being said, I’m exited for the next chapter to drop later today!!!! I’m preparing by shamelessly re-reading the story yet again. Also I apologize for the long note, I could not stop my ramble.

Hun please take care of yourself, much love!!

Hey pookie!! First of all this read like POETRY I hope you take interest in writing yourself because you write so beautifully in my inbox and make my face blush every damn time. Thankyou so much for your constant love and support, you make me feel like I really have a shot in the dark when it comes to publishing a book of my own (and yes it’s going to be a dark fantasy trilogy!) which is something I have genuinely always thought was far too big a reach for a dumb little english girl like me. You are far too sweet than I deserve in my opinion however it is so nice to log on and see these messages because it makes all the hours worth it 💗💗💗 thankyou so so so much for being so kind you don’t know how much it means considering they’re just words on a screen, I CHERISH every one of them 💗💗

(Also yes!! You can call me Em or Pookie or literally whatever you like 💗)

[vilandel]

Silver Cats & Black Roses

Chapter 11 – Different Talks

A/N Trigger Warning: Papa Silva Cosy Warning: Kaiser Granvorka Since this chapter is not the fluffiest one, I will post chapter 12 just right after. But just so you know, I love the scene with Kaiser, one of my favorites in this story 💜💙 And yes, I gave Kaisers wife a name. For me, she is now Isabelle^^

Ao3 link

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

Two months later

“Wasn’t so bad, right, handsome?”

Nozel just shrugged. It probably wasn’t so bad as he feared, but he won’t go back to Black Market this soon. Between the fact you had to go through a literal wall, the more than suspicious merchants, merchandise and shops, the suffocating air and probably the thieves hidden here and there, that wasn’t a place for him to just go shopping.

But Vanessa liked that place…

And this was the reason why he came along in the first place. Just for her. It wasn’t the first time Vanessa invited him on a shopping trip when none of the other Black Bulls wanted to accompany her and well, it became more and more difficult for Nozel to say no to her. Was that what love did to people, among other things? Heck, he even accepted to enter the Black Market for the first time, just for her.

Nozel sighed. He realized and somehow accepted that he was in love with Vanessa two months ago, but that was it. He was still frozen by many things instead of going forward. By many more reasons he originally thought of.

Of course, he couldn’t forget that he didn’t deserved that kind of happiness, after all his past mistakes. But as hurtful as it was, he find it more and more difficult to live up to it. He used to know this for so long that it became almost like a second nature. Yet today, he was needed to hammer those words in his mind over and over again in order to not taste that forbidden fruit. But he wasn’t as successful as he thought. Was he not trying hard enough, maybe? And did he still wanted to believe it, deep down?

Nozel also got silly reasons, for which he was truly ashamed deep down. Because it made him sound like a stupid lovestruck teenage boy. He had no idea how to court a woman. The only experiences he had was reduced to a short and shameful period of some flings, as well as fade dates arranged by a trice person. In short, he had absolutely no idea how do everything in a courtship and he would be damned before he would ask Fuegoleon for advice. Also wasn’t like he would court Vanessa anytime soon.

Besides, what they had right now was so nice just as it was. Again, more than he deserved, but being in Vanessas company was something he couldn’t help but enjoy. Rarely did he had such kind of happiness since his mother died. So innocent, so pure… Nozel was afraid to corrupt it by pushing something he had no right to obtain in the first place. This was probably acting like a coward, but he already knew that for years. Vanessa deserved better than a coward, who was chained by duties, guilt and so many issues.

At least, Nozel still could love her in a courtly way. Like a knight of ancient times, he gave his heart to her and hold his secret love dearly, even if she would never love him back. He doubt she would. Vanessa was so different from him, everything he wasn’t. He could only be her knight in secret. He couldn’t be hurt too much if he had not a lot of hope to begin with. Too much hope had a great risk of pain, Nozel knew that from experience.

But… there was a problem. As beautiful the idea of courtly love seemed to him, it probably also was a naïve one and Nozel wondered if it was just another excuse to not start to court Vanessa properly. Because the dreams he had of her at night weren’t as pure and innocent he wanted them to be. Or at least, not in the way of courtly love. He imagined so much to know her better, to go on official dates with her, to slowly start to see a future with her, to hug her like a lover, not just a friend, kiss her, feel her lips on his… And there were other dreams and fantasies that weren’t innocent at all.

Nozel felt the blood rush to his cheeks and slightly shook his head to not see those images again. It already wasn’t helpful that Vanessa usually wasn’t wearing much. Always more skin than clothing. Nozel refused to reduce Vanessa to that. He loved who she was mostly, but of course, he couldn’t help that his love for her was a bit mixed with lust as well.

Did Fuegoleon felt like that with Lital Lys as well? Even after ten years?

Nozel would never know.

Was he maybe complicating just complicating things more than what they should be?

“Are you alright, handsome? You seem a bit hot.”

And now she was right in front of him, caressing his cheek softly, her eyes concerned about him. Nozel froze again under her intense glance.

It’s always had been like that since a few weeks. There were moments of tension between them from time to time. Not due to fights, thankfully. It was a strange tension, awaiting but still comfortable. Intense, yes, but comfortable. As if time decided to stop altogether just for them.

It was a silly thought, he knew, but Nozel started to grew fond of some silliness. Him, a captain. Who put so much importance on discipline and order, for his squad, for his house, for his life.

But in moments like these, none of it seemed to matter anymore. Nothing mattered to him than those mesmerizing amethyst eyes, the rosewood curls falling on porcelain shoulders like a soft waterfall, the entire woman in front of him, who glanced at him just as intensely as he was glancing at her.

During those moments, Nozel wondered if Vanessa would ever fall in love with him…

And that was the moment he had to stop this comfortable tension before he could start to have false hope.

“Thank you, but I’m fine…”

“If you say so, sugar.”

She just giggled as if he said something stupid – which honestly happened quite often to him when he was around her – and took his arm before they started to walk.

Nozel didn’t show it, but he was quite shocked at the gesture. It almost felt so terribly intimate, as if they were really a couple and not just two people who happened to enjoy spending time with each other.

And still, somehow it felt right.

The walked through an empty street full of trees and sunlight. It was a nice late afternoon, warm but not too hot for summer. Perfect for shopping in Vanessas books and since Nozel had practically no shopping experience, it was fair to assume that she was right.

“Were you able to get every ingredients you wanted for your potions?” Nozel finally asked her. Not that he was interested in potions and other witch things in particular, but… Vanessa was a witch, it was her world and she loved making those. He was interested about her, every bit of her.

“Yes. I especially happy that I got those blue poppy leaves. They’re extremely rare to get outside of the Black Market and the only merchant who sells them is such a thief, he changes the prices every time I’m there.”

“That was somehow the feeling I got.”

“Right? He’s not even subtle about it! Usually I end up slapping him so that I can get those leaves. But he seems to have a good day today, he didn’t argued too much.”

Nozel smiled. That might be because he discreetly put some of his own money in Vanessas wallet. She seemed to need and want urgently those blue poppy leaves, given how she argued with that corrupted merchant.

Actually, despite the moments of strange tension between them, despite the fact that he had absolutely no idea how to act with his feelings, despite his guilt, Nozel liked to spend so much time with Vanessa. He liked how more open he was around her, only for her.

He couldn’t deny that having Vanessa in his life was more than just a good thing. Maybe it was good to allow himself some happiness.

Suddenly, Vanessa stopped to walk and looked in front of her, frowning.

“Vanessa, what’s the matter?”

“Do you perhaps know that man over there? He’s looking at us in a way I don’t know if I should like or not.”

Nozel followed her stare… and froze when he saw the man looking at them.

Those white hair tucked in a ridiculously complicated hairdo, those arrogant magenta coloured eyes, this moustache subtly curled, this grin that looked like a crueller version of Solids smile.

Oh no. Why is he here?

“Darling, are you alright? You look horribly pale.”

Nozel wanted to reassure her, but it would be a lie. He couldn’t say anything at all, as the man walked swiftly to them, while looking he had every time in the world.

“Hello, son.”

Nozel felt Vanessa flinched heavily against him. He never told her much about his father, but still enough that she knew what this reappearance was implying.

Lac Silva gave them a smile that didn’t reached his eyes. Of course it didn’t, his smiles were always fake. Especially for his children and his late wife.

“You don’t greet your own father? Where are your manners, Nozel, I teached you better than that.”

“You teached me, but you never raised me.”

Nozel hated for once how quiet his voice sounded. Normally, he never needed to yell or scream to make everyone obey him. But with his father, his usual authority wouldn’t work. In fact, he never had any authority in the presence of this man, instead he felt and sounded more like a child who was getting punished for something he didn’t made.

He felt Vanessa hold his arm slightly tighter and despite her presence, Nozel couldn’t find any comfort. He wished she wasn’t here, so that she wouldn’t witness how pathetic and weak he was against his father or worse, that Lac Silva would somehow hurt her.

“Teaching and raising are one and the same for royalty, Nozel. But would you please introduce me to your… charming companion?”

Nozel flinched and he felt that Vanessa did as well. That tone, that choice of words… Subtle and clear as crystal at the same time, Lac practically implied that Vanessa was nothing more than a fling, a grisette with a humble job and low morals, who choose a noble or royal protector to gain a bit more wealth until she was considered too old.

Vanessa wasn’t that and Nozel would rather give up his royal status than treating her that way. But his father wouldn’t care for that.

“A witch wearing a Magic Knight robe. Oh, a Black Bull… you must be the Drunken Witch, then. How delightful to make your acquaintance”, Lac said with a sickening smile and taking Vanessas hand to blow a kiss on it. Nozel clinched a fist. It looked so disrespectful when his father was doing it and all he wanted was to kiss Vanessas hand, in a naïve attempt to wash away his father’s touch.

“Sir,” Vanessa simply said with a cold nod. He never seen her like this and it hurt to see her with a similar cold mask to his.

“Son, I’m quite surprised that you are in the company of someone way too far away from your status and one of Noelles squadmates at that. Still feeling ashamed to be directly in your little sisters company?”

There was it again. The ultimate strategy of Lac Silva. Never lying, but telling the truth in a way so that it would humiliate his opponent and be beneficial only for him.

Like always, Nozel had no idea what to say.

It was Vanessa who replied instead. “Not true, they’re getting along better than ever!”

“Oh, really? But Noelle is still a Black Bull.”

“She’s very happy in this squad, I won’t take her away from them.”

“So, she’s still happier away from you, dear son?”

That hurt so much more than it should and Nozel had a very hard time to not look down. But even if he did, Lac knew that he hit a nerve, given his slight victorious smile.

“That’s not true, Noelle is-“

“Miss witch, I don’t think you have any concern into the affairs of house Silva.”

“You neither, you left your children alone for years when they needed a father the most.”

Lac stopped smiling, looking now terribly insulted. Vanessa looked at him with anger and protectiveness towards Noelle and… Nozel.

She was protective of him? Why?

“Miss witch, you-“

“Her name is Vanessa!”

Both looked at him, Lac with outrage, Vanessa with surprise and something he couldn’t really identify. But Nozel didn’t care. His father could insult him every time, he could live with that. But Nozel just couldn’t tolerate this man insulting a woman he fell hopelessly in love with despite every issue he had.

“Miss… Vanessa, you should go, I have something to discuss with my son without any witnesses.”

“I won’t let you-“

“Vanessa, please, it’s alright.”

She looked at him, clearly not believing it would be alright. Nozel didn’t believed his own words as well. But he wanted her out of here, out of this situation before she could be corrupted and getting cracks for interacting with Lac Silva.

Despite his father’s presence, he looked at her pleadingly, hoping she would somehow understand.

It was just a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity until Vanessa nodded slowly. “Will you call me later.”

“Yes.”

That seemed enough for Vanessa. She looked at him intensely, with the same comfortable tension they always had since two months. She tighten her grip on his arm for a second, as if she tried to give him some comfort, before she took her broom and her bags, flying away.

Just as she disappeared, his father turned to him and said with cold tone he used only for Nozel, “You won’t call her back.”

“You have no right to tell me what to do,” Nozel replied coldly before turning his back to his father. He started to walk away, which was useless, but he still had to get out of here as quickly as he could.

“Oh, because you’re a thirty year old grown adult? Don’t be silly, Nozel. Given all the stupid decisions you took concerning house Silva since you took over, I think I have every right to,” his father replied. Nozel heard him walk behind him.

“You only consider those decisions stupid because they don’t help you for your own schemes. Do you really think I’m stupid? I know that you less married mother and more house Silva, I know that our family is just a stepping stone for you.”

“Haven’t you learned anything, Nozel? In an arranged marriage, it never matters who you’re getting married to, but from which house your spouse will be. Acier was just the only Silva princess left to marry, since Océane was married into the Vermillions and all the others died already. Typical Silvas, at least I gave this four heirs, which is always the main reason why a house who loses members quite often should get marital alliances… and shall I remember you that your dearest mother was more than willing to have children with me.”

Nozel knew that Silvas had a strange habit to die mostly young and in celibacy, he knew that his duty of arranged marriage implied to conceive heirs. But he hated how his father talked about it, as if it was his achievement only.

“Four heirs, but only because I didn’t got a magic with water affinity like you. Otherwise, I would have been an only child. You never enjoyed fatherhood anyway. You only accepted to have more children the moment you learned I have mercury magic.”

His father didn’t answered, which was the proof that Nozel did hit a point. But he couldn’t rejoice this small and rare victory, as his father now got a grip on his arm, holding him back.

“It doesn’t change the fact that you won’t meet up with this… witch again, whatever her name is.”

“That’s not up to you to decide, you never cared about my frequentations before. So why now?”

“Because you never dealt with people who weren’t part of our circles outside of you work as Magic Knight before. I don’t have personally something against witches, but you shouldn’t frequent them. Think of your duty.”

“Since when has it to do with my duty that I shouldn’t meet up with Vanessa?”

“Son, you seem to be more stupid than years ago. It doesn’t matter which witch you met up with for some luxurious activities, that’s not the point. It is already rather stupid and naïve of you that you’re frequenting a witch, this is worse than with just peasants and commoners. Royals don’t mix with witches in particular, our terms with their queen are peaceful but fragile. But the worst part is, that you prefer following your braindead sexual instinct instead on finally focusing on your duty.

Nozel felt nauseous and angry at his father words. How dare this man believe that? How dare his father insinuate that he… treat Vanessa that way, just for his own fun? Even though he was always taken aback by her beauty, it was more than anything her personality that touched his heart!

“How dare you… Vanessa and I did not-“

“Oh, do you perhaps think that your lust is love?” The fake pity was so sickening and Lac Silva certainly knew that. “Nozel, my dear son, you must have forgotten. Royals don’t love. Royals. Don’t. Love.”

“Not true! Don’t you remember mother? It might have broken her heart in the end, but she did love you!”

“Acier loved me? Well, her mistake, her weakness.”

“Don’t talk about my mother like that!”

“Still the mama’s boy, I see. You were always behind her skirts when you were a little boy, always looking up to her and I have to say, Acier spoiled you rotten, cherishing you instead of being a proper royal parent. Your grandfather, may he rest peace, already had concern that she was going to be too soft with you. And he was right. You might look all cold and stern on the outside, but you’re weak. You played your role well, I was impressed. But unlike the nobles, I am not a fool. You and your mother, you might think that love is a good thing, but no. It is a weakness, makes you braindead and it’s overall just a flimsy emotion, be it for royals or peasants. Why do you think that most scandals involving love end tragically? All those secret weddings of the past? Eloping only makes you happy until the bliss of an adventure fades away and you’re stuck in an unstable life with a partner you have nothing in common with. Why are so many divorces occurring after many so called love weddings happened? It is pretty common in the Common Realm and unlike nobles, commoners at least have nothing to lose after a divorce. Why do most so-called big love stories end tragically? I can tell you two examples from my youth, it portrays the generality of this nonsense. I remember lady Gloria from house Pompadour, who fell in love with a foreigner from the Heart kingdom and instead of letting go of it, she threw herself out of a cliff when her house make her lover disappear for her safety. Or lady Desirée from house Évantail, she loved her husband and when she found out he had a mistress, she poisoned herself. Not to mention your own mother, little mama’s boy. Didn’t she ended up broken hearted after years of living in a delusion of true love?”

Nozel wanted to protest, but he knew he was useless. Not because his father was stubborn, bluffing or desperate enough to cling on this belief.

No, Lac Silva was effortlessly convinced on what he just said. For him, it was just a fact and there was no way anyone could convince him otherwise.

Lac Silva never used lies to convince. Only the truth and for him, this was the truth.

His father took his lack of answer as a success, as he continued with a superior smile, “You know how fragile house Silva is right now. There’s only four of you and none of you are married, not to mention that none of you have at least one heir. Nebra should have been married a decade ago, Noelle at least engaged and even though Solid is a difficult cause, a search for a potential spouse for him should start soon. And you, Nozel… unlike your siblings, you aren’t so much of a disappointment, except your magic affinity. You should think of your future marriage instead of playing with a pretty witch. At least, you’re quite concious of the stupidity of adultery, so you will not have manipulative mistress once your married. But stop postponing it. This is just calling for me to take this matter into my own hands.”

“I will NOT let you decide upon my life anymore!”

“Then you should stop acting like a child.”

Nozel snickered unhappily, “You say that, but you still treat me like a child. And you don’t really want to stop me to actlike a child, it makes it just easier for you to manipulate me. And on the other hand, when I was a child, you treated me like I was already an adult, but a stupid one who had no idea of the world. When mother died, you weren’t even there, not to mention you were absent at the funeral. All I got from you is a note saying I should pull myself together and that sadness is a weakness.”

“Well, it is.”

“I hold back my sadness and any other so-called weak affections for almost two decades, just for the sake of the house! I was a child, too young for this burden… but my own father just called me pathetic because I was cursed and made things even more difficult for me once I became Head and since he’s so popular within nobility, it was already his word against mine! And you’re still wondering why I refuse to let my life be a chess piece for you? Despite your reputation, you only married into royalty, but I’m the head of house Silva, I’m a captain of a royal Magic Knight squad and it’s my decision alone if I get married for political reasons or out of love.”

Nozel tried to sound calm, but it was clear as crystal that he didn’t have his emotion under control. Never in his father’s presence.

The choice of his words, how he formed his sentences, spilling out his grudges against that man… all that was a clear indicator that he was in control of the situation.

Lac Silva knew that. He looked at him with an air of superiority, caressing his moustache and smiling, amused and disdained at the same time.

With all the love Nozel had for his mother, sometimes he couldn’t help but wonder what she actually saw in her husband.

Nozel wanted to walk away again, but of course his father didn’t let go of his arm.

“I might accept to let you choose your future betrothed, if you hear what I have to offer you.”

“Don’t take me for a fool. Since are you making deals that might be not beneficial to you?”

“Just listen. You are a Magic Knight and despite it is clearly not the a very useful job given what happened the last two years, you’re taking it very seriously… And since I heard that all nine squads are currently dealing on a matter of thievery in the Common Realm, I’m ready to give you some help for this ridiculous affair.”

Nozel flinched. Well, he had to admit that help was indeed the Magic Knights needed help with those thefts that were putting the Common Realm on edge. Since they had learned that a secret and very well prepared organisation was pulling the strings in the background, they were very cautious with anything tied to this affair. Nozel would admit that he had thought more of Vanessa than this organized thievery during those past few weeks, but still, he couldn’t forget his duty as a Magic Knight and as a captain. They indeed might need help on this.

But… accepting help from his father? Even if that man wasn’t lying and even though it wouldn’t be bad to have some help from someone more neutral than the Magic Knights, it wasn’t right still. Because Lac Silva didn’t offer help out of generosity, he wanted something in return.

But what exactly? He was offering his help and in exchange, he would accept to let Nozel make his own decision about his future spouse and marriage. It sounded fair. But Nozel just knew that it wasn’t, not with his father.

Whether he let him choose on his own or not, now that Lac was on board on that topic, he would gain something out of it either way. That much was clear to Nozel. By ruining a noble house, making his daughter-in-law is willing or unwilling ally… he would gain something out of it either way and it would serve and his goal, not the Silvas.

As for the help he could offer the Magic Knights, Lac Silva would consider that the Wizard King and all nine squads would owe him something in return. And he was eloquent enough to make it sound like they owe him big and he would put the nobles on his side. Given how the Magic Knights weren’t already well received within nobility these days, it would be a piece of cake for him.

“Consider it, son. You have everything to gain. It’s not like you want to be happy in marriage, am I right?”

Why did it sound so wrong coming out of his father’s mouth? Why did his conviction falter for a second?

And why couldn’t he stop thinking about Vanessa, longing for her presence and at the same time, be afraid should find him pathetic and stupid?

“No.”

It came out before he could even think about it. But still, it felt like the only right thing for him to say.

“No? Hm, guess I was wrong, perhaps. If this is your answer, maybe being a Magic Knight and a captain isn’t that important to you after all. Maybe you hang on it just because of your mother, like the perfect little mama’s boy you are. What would your witch think of that, I w-“

“No, you’re wrong. It is important for me, not only because of my mother. I’m very aware of my duty and I learned from experience that help that comes in the form of deals shouldn’t be trusted on this matter. And don’t you dare think this poorly of Vanessa. You don’t know her, she’s not driven by ambition and she’s not hoping to gain something by being around me. She is not my mistress, she doesn’t deserve to be called like that. She… means a lot to me and unlike you and most nobles, she… likes to be with me. Vanessa is kind and honest and everything you consider weak, but she is strong. Now, leave me alone!”

“I’m here only for the day before I have to follow my important duties. I can give you some time if you want, but I’m not finished talking to you, Nozel.”

“But I’m done listening to you… Lac.”

There was no way he would call this man directly father. It felt so wrong.

Lac continued to talk, but Nozel refused to listen. He pulled his father’s hand from his arm, summoned his mercury eagle and flew away.

He didn’t know if this was a victory or not. It didn’t felt like it. Even worse, Nozel didn’t felt like the thirty year old adult, captain, knight and house head, he actually was, but more like a teenager.

Like the fourteen year old boy who lost his mother and who cried all alone, next to her dead body.

Maybe that fourteen year old boy never disappeared, maybe he never stopped crying in silent and all alone, during those seventeen years.

Nozel felt himself like crying right now. He probably made things worse for him and more importantly, for his siblings during this interaction with Lac Silva. What if that man would try to marry Nebra or Noelle off behind Nozels back? What if he threaten Solid with a political marriage that would end in disaster, because Solid was Solid and Lac would be able to turn this disaster into an advantage?

What if…

Nozel stopped. He was overthinking again. Lac surely had other duties to follow, he said it himself and he wasn’t a liar. King Augustus, Achilles Vermillion and the vast majority of the nobles either trusted or admired him. Lac wasn’t the type to waste his time on bothering, at least. And Nozel knew that he would give him some time. Lac reminded him of his duty to his house and at the same time, managed to make him feel completely lost.

He was pathetic, so pathetic. Nozel had no idea what to do. But mostly, he couldn’t help but think about Vanessa. How would she feel about him, seeing him like this, being played like fiddle by father? Would she be disgusted, disappointed? Nozel didn’t want Vanessa to think badly of him! But why would she even think of him as someone wonderful? He loved her hopelessly, but Nozel knew that it was irrational to hope for something like that.

Lost in his thoughts, Nozel didn’t realized that someone was following him. A very specific witch, who actually didn’t exactly left after he asked her to go.

Nozel didn’t know yet that Vanessa heard everything…

♣♣♣

“I’ll bring you to captain Kaiser.”

“Yeah, geez, you don’t need to be this nervous.”

The Purple Orca – Digit or something like that – who was leading the captain of the Black Bulls through the headquarters just nodded, but didn’t get less nervous. Weird, Yami didn’t even tried yet to be threatening or something.

Looking around, Yami was surprised that while everything looked cleaned, it was also really cosy. Not up tight, not random, not military, just cosy. Back when that traitor ham Gueldre was the captain of the Purple Orcas, the headquarters just looked nasty, suspicious and full of unfairness. Now, it was both cleaned and cosy. Yami was used that cleaned places weren’t cosy at all and that cosy places weren’t cleaned.

It looked like the purple moustache grandpa actually did a very decent job to turn the Purple Orcas back into a proud and more than decent squad. Well, a proof that kindness wasn’t a weakness at all.

Yami sighed. It had ask a lot of his own pride to come here and actually ask for an advice. Since two months, the tension between him and Prickly Queen just grew more and more intense. The weirdest part was actually that the tension didn’t felt in any way negative. He never had something like that before and even though he hated to admit it, but it was freaking him out.

The shock over her lost brother’s identity was calmer now, but not really over. Charlotte hadn’t been ready to tell Luck the truth immediately, which Yami totally get. Oh, he had no concerns about Lucks reaction, honestly. But the hardest part was always before the revelation and Prickly Queen needed some time to prepare. At least, Charlotte asked if she could visit the Black Bulls and Yami accepted. It seemed a good idea, allowing Charlotte to get used to her brother’s squad and getting Luck used to Charlottes presence before he will learn the truth about their family bonds.

Which was today. Prickly Queen got a grip on herself and decided to tell Luck that she was his half-sister.

She wanted to do it alone and Yami let her be. Not only because it would indeed be better for both siblings if Charlotte did it all by herself. But also, all this weird tension and emotions and thoughts around Prickly Queen became really unbearable for Yami lately, to a point he decided to ignore his pride for once and ask for advice.

Actually, Kaiser wasn’t just a random choice. Yami came to some kind of partly conclusion lately. It just didn’t make any sense when it came to Charlotte for him, but since nothing made sense with her… Kaiser just happened to be nice guy, pretty chill and who was in a happy marriage and unusual for a noble, that man married out of love. His marriage also wasn’t only happy, but also calm and apparently, one of Kaisers favourite thing to do was spending some nice quality time with his wife.

All that put together, it was probably the best person Yami could ask advice for. Okay, Finral was happily married as well, but he was a Black Bull and Yami would NEVER ask one of his subordinates for help. He had still some pride left, for fuck’s sakes! As for other captains, Fuegoleon was apparently in a very happy relationship, but he still wasn’t married yet. Kaiser was older and that meant he had the most experience out of all the people Yami knew. Also, he probably won’t be judging.

So, this morning, Yami put his pride aside and called the purple moustache grandpa if he could come over for a talk. About something personal, he needed to add.

Kaiser didn’t sound surprised and didn’t ask any questions. He practically invited him to the Purple Orcas headquarters in the afternoon. Right during the time of Charlottes visit, which was perfect. Yami had no idea if he was able to face her right now.

So, in the afternoon, Yami took his wheels and ordered him to bring him to the Purple Orcas. Thankfully, Finral had been there before. Now, he was waiting outside and having small talk with some young Orcas. When Finral asked his captain why the sudden visit, Yami just said something about squad business and while his wheels frowned, probably sensing the lie, he was also clever enough to not pry.

“We’re here, captain Yami,” the nervous Orca finally said, stopping at a door, knocking on it and leaving immediately.

Yami sighed, before slowly opening the door. Depending on this talk, he would either get even more confused or finally got his answers.

Entering the office, Yami was taken aback again by how cleaned and cosy it looked. Heck, the office looked like the perfect mix of a captains office and a cosy living room.

For the first time, Yami wondered if it wouldn’t be too bad to have his own office back at the Hideout. He needed to talk with Henry about it.

“Welcome Yami, I was expecting you,” Kaiser stood in front of his desk, actually smiling and even handing him a glass of whiskey. Not full, of course, by nobles fucked up logic, the best way to enjoy whiskey was only to put not much in a glass with some little ice cubes and to took only sips from it for an hour. Yami would have preferred a full glass or even better, some booze.

But at the same time, this was going to be an important talk for him, so he better needed to not get drunk.

“Geez, thanks,” Yami just said, taking a small sip. Hm, that whiskey was pretty tasty. Purple Moustache Grandpa had some good taste at least.

Kaiser made a gesture, inviting him to sit at the desk. He even was actually polite enough to wait for his visitor to sit down, before taking place himself. Unexpected from a noble but at the same time, Yami knew already that Kaiser was just a nice moustache grandpa.

“I had to admit that your call from this morning surprised me, Yami. Not in a negative way, of course not, but still surprising. Is there something bothering you?”

“Ya can say that, Moustache Guy,” Yami replied, taking another sip from his drink. A bigger one this time, because he really needed some courage right now.

This never happened before to him and Yami wasn’t sure to like this new side of him. Well, hopefully his brats wouldn’t learn or he might risk to lose his authority among them.

“Well, moustache… Kaiser,” he finally started, hating how unsure his voice sounded. Thankfully Kaiser probably won’t be judging for it. “I might… need some advice for… something very specific and complicated to explain. Well… I came to you because, um, you’re married for years and, um… having a happy marriage and you… um, love… your wife.”

“Does it have something to do with Charlotte?”

Yami was very happy that he didn’t take another sip from his whiskey, because he would have spit that excellent drink directly on his host in this very moment.

“How… how did you know?”

“Well, ever since I’ve become captain, I noticed pretty fast the tension between you both. I even sit next to both of you during most captains meeting, but to be fair, I think everyone noticed it. But that tension honestly became more intense after Spade, especially those last few months.”

“Wait, there was tension before?”

“Yes, there was. I don’t blame you for not realizing it immediately. It me also some time before I understood what was specifically between you and Charlotte.”

Yami didn’t know what to say. Kaiser had no reason to lie to him and according to his Ki, he didn’t. But if there was already tension before between Prickly Queen and himself, why didn’t he noticed it?

Either they just had a weird and unique way to act with each other… Or Yami had to admit that he had been terribly dense.

Kaiser smiled, while looking at a framed portrait standing on his desk. A rather round grandma with a shining smile was on it. Probably his lady wife. She wasn’t a proper beauty by nobles standards, but Kaiser still looked at her as if she hung sun, moon and star all by herself.

Proof for Yami that he actually knocked on the right door.

“I feel honoured that you’re asking me for advice on this matter, Yami. I understand first-hand how difficult it can be when you have romantic feelings for a very specific person. And given your situation… Well, how about you first tell me everything.”

“Okay.”

Yami told Kaiser everything he knew, everything that happened since Spade and even what happened before when Kaiser was asking, everything that was just so unique and weird and without any sense concerning Charlotte, just… everything. Yami never would have imagined how good it felt to open his heart to someone, to just put all his worries and everything he couldn’t understand into words.

Kaiser was also a good listener. He didn’t interrupted, asked for some more details here and then and most importantly, he wasn’t judging at all! Just understanding and thinking.

It took longer to put everything into words, especially since his colleague was also asking some questions, who seemed random at first but by answering them, Yami had to admit that those were clever details to ask for.

After a long while, both captains were silent. Kaiser actually gave Yami another glass of whiskey and this time, it was full.

“Well, Yami… There’s a lot of unspoken things between you and Charlotte. But in my books, you actually came to the right conclusion.”

“So… I love her.”

“Yes, indeed.”

Yami had no idea what to think exactly or to even feel. He was so surprised to find out he was head over heels for the Prickly Queen, but at the same time, he wasn’t. It just made so much sense, given… everything.

“And… Charlotte?”

“Oh, I can tell you for sure that she loves you as well, Yami.”

Again, so terribly surprising and at the same time, it made so much sense. And everyone else but him probably figured it out. Yami groaned. Had he been really that stupid, that dense? Seemed like it. Goldie Guts already pointed it out that he might wasn’t able to recognize if someone was in love with him, despite his Ki reading.

But how would he have ever been able to get it, with how Charlotte treated him for years? Okay, he never questioned in the first place and never asked himself if she was just putting on a mask or not. But still!

And… what now?

That was honestly the real question in this very moment. Concerning his brats, he never cared if they fell in love and with whom. Why care about the consequences, when all you had to do was surpassing your limits?

But now that he was in a situation like this, Yami felt that he couldn’t just waltz in, tell Charlotte he was head over heels for her and they live happily ever after, everyone’s happy, who cares for the consequences?

Their circles were different, Charlotte cared a lot about her duty, she fight a lot against the sexism concerning her rank and position… She would care about the consequences and who was Yami to go against her will? He never needed to tell to surpass her limits, she always did it all by herself. To a point that she actually needed to relax and rely on others. If they wanted to be in a relationship, people would help them. But others would put stones in their way. Nobles never cared for a relationship who didn’t apply to their marital standard and even more to their own selfish schemes.

Besides… Why would Charlotte even love him? Why him of all people?

Fuck, was he actually doubting himself right now? Never happened before… What Charlotte thought of him was also really important for him.

“What do I do now?”

Kaiser didn’t answered directly, just silently thinking, his eyes focused on the portrait of his wife. But when he spoke, his voice sounded concerned and caring, like the nice grandpa he was.

“Listen, Yami. I won’t lie to you and won’t try to tell you to just jump in without any care. You must be well aware how nobility runs in our poor kingdom. My marriage with Isabelle was an exception and even today, politics, fortunes, reputation, alliances are considered to be some of the most important topics for a marital bond. Love is considered as flimsy and stupid, a nice bonus at best, one of the most terrible weakness at worst. House Roselei is from high nobility and Charlotte, who cares about her duty as you know, is one of the most renown parties on the noble marital market.”

Kaiser made a pause, before continuing with a smile, “But I also won’t tell you to give up. Arranged marriages are maybe the norm, but it shouldn’t be, as they’re mostly awful. Love is a very good reason to go against this status quo and it’s worth all the difficulties. You love Charlotte and she loves you, both of you have a good reason to take the risk. You just need to be careful, to not take unnecessary risks. I firmly believe that this would be a fight you can win. And don’t forget that both of you aren’t alone, people would help you.”

Yami knew all of this already, but it was good to heard it confirmed from a more neutral party. It made everything more real.

But there was still something that made Yami weirdly unsure. Unusual for him, but maybe it was probably a common issue for every people in love. Did Finral felt like this too with his beloved Finesse?

“How… can I tell Prickly Queen, um, Charlotte that I… well, you know.”

“Every romance is different from each other, so it won’t be the same for every couple. You and Charlotte are very different from Isabelle and me. All I can advise is you is to be yourself and to feel it for yourself, as well as for Charlotte. And to not let your doubts and fear be stronger than your love for her. She means a lot to you already. You wouldn’t have come to ask for my advice otherwise.”

Very true. Yami did made a good choice to ask this specific colleague for help. He’ll never admit it out loud, but for once he needed advice. The right advice.

Kaiser just smiled at him with an understanding look in his eyes, not judging at all. Wasn’t this the proof that some people won’t be upset to have him at Charlottes side?

[officialleehadan]

Blood Debt Battle

Hello darlings! Today's story was brought to you by Kiliakit! Darling, thank you so much for your support!

Prompt: HGE – Local Librarian

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TW: This one is kind of bloody because well. Draco.

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Kos was incredibly strong and impossibly fast.

Draco was savage.

Laure had the strange sense that she shouldn’t be able to actually track them though the fight as their bodies blurred, clashed together, and blurred again with never a foot set out of place. Red lines appeared on Kos’s arm when Draco drew first blood, but only a moment later he flew backwards when Kos landed a hit to his ribs that would have killed a human.

It might well have killed a lesser vampire as well, but Draco barely landed from the blow before he was blurring forwards again with a vicious hiss. He ducked under Kos’s next swing and laded two of his own in quick succession before sliding away from the older vampire’s grasping hands again.

“Kos is stronger than he is,” Victor said lowly to Laure. He was tense, but there was something to his voice that reassured her. He was angry at the situation, but he wasn’t worried. He wasn’t afraid for Draco despite his fondness for his self-proclaimed nephew. “But Draco is faster, and knows more about fighting another vampire.”

“Is that common?” Laure wondered anxiously. Victor might not be worried, but she certainly was. “This kind of challenge fight?”

“Not among those of our age, no. The younger generations have more infighting, especially in Covens with less experienced Elders,” Teucer said. Like Victor, his eyes stayed on the fight, but he did not seem overly concerned despite the blood that spattered across the white marble floor. “It shouldn’t have happened here, either. If Kos wanted to take a run at Draco, he should have waited until the situation was less damned dire.”

“Draco has been avoiding him. No interest in the fight,” Victor explained over Laure’s head. She looked up at him and he shrugged a little. “His sire was a bastard who had it coming. Most of us figure Draco earned his revenge, even if he did make a menace of himself on the way. We avoided him until he calmed down a little, and generally agreed to let the blood-debt die where it fell.”

“But Kos didn’t? Why not?”

“I’ve always assumed he was hit in the head too many times before he was Turned, but there’s really no telling.”

The fight was swiftly turning and now Laure could truly see why nobody sensible wanted to fight Draco. Although Kos had landed a few hits on him here and there, they were minor compared to the long slashes that Kos wore. The blood on the floor was his. Laure bit her lip when he drove his claws into Draco’s side, but Draco didn’t even slow. He slashed his own claws across Kos’s face, scored deep, bloody lines on his way, and wrenched back. Kos yelled in pain, although the slashes closed quickly.

“You can’t win this,” Draco said, apparently unbothered by his own swiftly-healing injuries. Kos spat blood and snarled at him, but the truth of Draco’s words was visible even to Laure’s untrained eyes. Draco shrugged off his ruined shirt and revealed a black-scaled dragon who cradled a golden-haired mermaid in its claws, that dominated his back in incredible detail. Thick bars of Roman writing lined his arms from wrist to elbow. Names, Laure realized when he passed close enough for her to read a few in a hurried glance. There must be a hundred of them, inked in black onto his skin. “I would rather not kill you. Surrender and lay this vendetta aside and we will let it die here.”

“The only thing that will die here is you,” Kos said coldly and lunged forward. Draco cursed and tried to dodge, but not fast enough. Laure gasped when Kos slammed into Draco and took him to the ground. Victor’s hand on her shoulder tightened, although his expression never wavered when Laure glanced up at him. The two vampires rolled across the rung that she held even though she longed to intervene for her friend. “I will rip out your heart!”

“Worse than you have tried and failed,” Draco, but the laughter was gone from his voice and his eyes. Now, Laure realized, he was taking the fight seriously. Kos locked his arm around Draco’s throat from behind and tightened brutally. Vampires did not need to breathe of course, but Kos was strong enough to rip Draco’s head from his shoulders if he got the leverage. Draco clawed at him, but he held on grimly.

For the first time, Draco let his fangs slip into sight and, before Kos could stop him, he bit into the thick arm that had locked around his throat. Kos gave a yell of pain and tried to wrench away, but to do it, he had to release his hold on Draco. They scattered away from each other and Draco watched him warily. His breath, unneeded but habitual, wheezed in his crushed throat as it healed. His lips were red with blood.

“You taste like old bourbon, Uncle dearest,” he said as the last traces of his gentle, human facade slipped away, baring only the monster whose name was synonymous with their kind. The vampire other vampires feared. The greatest hunter of his own kind to ever haunt the night. “I never took more than one bite of my Sire, did you know? Only the first one, stolen when he tried that same move on me long ago. He was so weak couldn’t kill me back when I was human and weak and he had every advantage. What makes you think you can do it now?”

Kos roared his fury at the reminder of his lost friend. The one who Draco had murdered for a revenge that still pained him so much that he could barely talk about it in anything but the vaguest terms. Victor told her while Draco was out of the hotel, about the Lost Century. Ninety-nine human lives stolen by a gluttonous vampire, and one single Childe left in the ruins who would become the worst of their kind.

She hadn’t understood then. Not when all she knew of Draco was his easy laugh and outrageous heels. She had seen him fight of course, when he helped to save her from the shadows, but that was not this. It was not brutal, and bloody, and filthy with hatred. Even then, he had not been frightening.

Now she knew better.

When Draco flickered out of sight, so fast that even her goddess-blessed vision lost him, her breath caught.

When he reappeared, holding a bloody heart in his fist, her own heart stopped.

When Kos crumpled to the floor, already crumbling to dust, she understood.

“I tire of this farce,” Draco said coldly, streaked with blood as he crushed the heart in his hand and shook the dust off his fingers. He looked around the room, at the Elders of his kind. All older than him. Many who had backed Kos, before Laure ringed them in a thread of silken fire. “Now, my uncles and aunts and those who are neither. Will anyone else come to claim this blood-debt, or may it finally be allowed to die as it should have long ago?”

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HGE - Local Librarian:

Gift of a Rose

Curse-Bound Leather

Bloody Stress

Flip the Page  (Subscriber Only!)

Luxury Flight (Subscriber Only!)

Hotel of Memories

Ancient and Old (Subscriber Only!)

Hearth Not Home  (Subscriber Only!)

Of the Hearth

From the Earth  (Subscriber Only!)

Ring Panic  (Subscriber Only!)

Red Gems Black Stone (Subscriber Only!)

Unexpected Ally

The Words of History (Subscriber Only!)

A Bit of History

Enemies Old and Gone (Subscriber Only!)

Third Brother (Subscriber Only!)

Folding History (Subscriber Only!)

At War by Moonlight (Subscriber Only!)

Firebrand Burning (Subscriber Only!)

Sunrise Touched (Subscriber Only!)

Crafted Change (Subscriber Only!)

Coptic Code

The Opening Bell

Gossamer Fabric (Subscriber Only!)

Calls to Make

Two Librarians (Subscriber Only!)

All Elders Come

Caesar Story

Circle Challenge (New!)

Blood Debt Battle (New!)

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MASTERLIST