#another old doodle i hadnt posted yet

[hefty-haunches]

Filling out that flightsuit

[milkbreadtoast]

more oc doodles... tested a braid for him!! also made the butterfly motif more obvious w the butterfly clips... i rly wanted him to have them but rarely drew him from the back so...

this post is kinda short so gonna post some old art w commentary under the cut bc i dont think i posted them here before🤧 thought i did but....

(oct 2020) happy to see visible improvement from then heh... this is where i first got him closer to his current design/palette + decided on the purple/yellow palette and the inverting eye color idea... normally pretty and shiny but w a creepy spotted butterfly eye look when using his powers (simplified the dots to just 3 in his current design)...

more recent doodles (apr 2022)... these r cute tbh i like the 2nd pic, he looks so fluffy + u can see the butterfly hairtie... but i still wasnt satisfied w his design...

in my most recent attempt at designing him(aug 2023) i changed several things... made his bangs longer for a more elegant look(which is actually closer to how it was before)... figured out how to draw his eyes + eyebrows better + more consistent(had been going back n forth btwn double/mono eyelids and thick/thin eyebrows... finally settled on sleepy double eyelids + thick brows) + i also changed the placement of his moles... (used to be right under his eye; changed to middle of cheek + another near the nose.. aka the txt soobin mole KFJKS I like how this new placement gives him a softer and gentle elegant look?? it's subtle but I like it a lot better... Oh also I made his sideburn locks shorter instead of long and curly and I like this change a lot too... idk it looks cuter to me KJFKS I gave him the long curly ones before bc i thought it'd look more unique but... i decided it's more important that I personally like it rather than just give traits to set him apart... he already looks plenty flashy w his eyes and colors anyway🤧

bonus: another pass from p recently (may 2023) where, unsatisfied and wondering how to fix his design, attempted straying further from prev attempts by testing a middle part (and also a mole near his mouth)... but I was actually getting colder and not warmer.... I don't like these but at least I tested it to know that I don't like it!! u can also see a test doodle of the spiky green guy (hyojun) here lol

And finally, here's 1 of his very first design attempts from way back in aug 2019!!! (u can see early hyojun too...)

This was back when I was just starting to figure the current ver of his chara/personality/role in the story... not fleshed out at all but i at least had a vague idea and this was when I decided he would be purple (instead of other palette ideas i had considered earlier like brown hair, orange coding...) But at this early stage I hadnt come up with the butterfly motif, or the purple/yellow palette (he was purple/magenta here) or darker skin... Tbh I consider this a "beta design" bc theres sm thing that were diff/not decided yet but it's technically the same chara ckdbf

I can't fit any more images ㅠㅠ but u can see more concept sketches in this twitter thread... and yea I was testing an inverted eye concept even back then... I really liked this idea so I didn't want to abandon it, and im happy I made it even better since w the butterfly concept *_*

[doodlesolar]

story time

in my last post i posted a shitpost doodle of sans undertale being questioned by frisk about why hes wearing a visor in 102 degree weather. i said the cactus next to frisk is inspired by an "event". here is the event

so basically i live in a trailer park except it actually converted itself into a mobile home park a year or two back so rn im in one of those. back when it was a trailer park tho i buried a friendship bracelet in the corner of our lot (i was young) cause it was a flower bracelet made from weaving the flowers together. a girl gave it to me that i knew and liked (she didnt like me back tho but she was still cool & we were friends)

so obviously i move out of the trailer and into the mobile home, but u see this was like 5 or 6 years ago and my brain was less developed.

so then new people moved their trailer in (the parks whole shift hadnt quite happened yet) and they planted a cactus right over the spot i planted my friendship bracelet. i wsa very bitter over having to leave the trailer and that lot because there were way less plants in the new lot, so obviously emotions were very high and i uhhh

i found the cactus when they moved out again, and i punted it over the fence and into the plumbing place next door.

so the cactus next to frisk in that picture was the same cactus that i kicked like a mf football lmao

and i didnt even get in trouble cause wtf were the neighbors gonna say? "a 12 year old kicked a cactus over the fence :-(" like who cares lmao. not the cactus i bet. prolly shouldnt have done it but if i was a witness to a scene like that, out of context? i would laugh my ass off

ill post another story time soon. doodle of me kicking the cactus below

[tumblunni]

Aaa im so full of poke hype and lovv! <3

I feel like maybe doodling my kid self, for some reason?? Like embrace the nostalg and also show some love to that awkward lil kid who didnt really know who they were yet. Its interesting how much i've changed over the years!

Hell i might even draw personas of myself dressed as all the protags from all the different generations? But they'd be mostly the same for like the first 20 years, just me getting real tall and fat lol. I had almost floor length hair for SO LONG it felt really freeing to chop it all off and i never went back! I think i kept it cos it was loke.. Camoflage? The only 'girly' thing i had so i could pretend to myself that i was straight and cis. Plus a literal shield cos i could be 90% hair and just one eye poking out XD So yeah it'd be funny looking at me over time, its just this girly-looking kid getting increasingly more macho outfits and increasingly more girly hair and increasingly more socially anxious, until within the space of 18-25 i suddenly have this giant self discovery freedom explosion and change completely! Its funny how if anything i look less masculine now? Like im way more comfortable with the fact that i'm someone in between genders, and its not a binary of having to be something i'm not just to escape some other thing i'm not. Its also kinda funny how these gender roles felt so restrictive when i was crammed into one of them, yet dressing with both at once seems just as freeing as having neither. Tho still no matter how i dress i always get misgendered one way or another since non-binary acceptance is still far from the norm. But still im so much more me than i've ever been before, and its great to look back so i can realize how far i've come!

So lol maybe i'll just draw old kid me playing "her" first pokemon game, and leave out the next decade and a half of the same thing but taller. And i could just draw current me in a few different attempts at a pokemon outfit? Like when i did my sprite edits i just did me in my usual outfit i wear IRL, now im thinking maybe i shoulda designed a wish fullfillment ideal gym leader costume or something? Tho im too lazy to start the sprite edit project all over again with this new design lol. Oh and maybe also draw my pokemon go outfit? I dont wear it all the time but i had a fun lil look i wore the other day that i ended up laughing at cos i accidentalky wore all blue even tho i picked Team Valor! Now i wanna wear it all the time lol. Oo and maybe cosplay as my fave characters? If i cant afford to do it IRL i can at least draw it!

So yeh in summary somehow i feel really confident in my identity today and i wanna draw pics of me. Mild ego time!!! Or rather just wishing i could fly back in time and motivate my kid self by showing them that they woukd actually have the freedom to be themself some day. I dont even really think of it as "I used to be a girl" but just that i was always feeling this way and didnt know the words for it, or that other people felt the same way and it wasnt an 'abomination against god'. And for some reason playing a gane with selectable genders really helped me let out some of my feelings during that confused childhood of absolute repression. "I just pick a random gender each time cos it doesnt really matter right? Doesnt everyone just pick the one with the outfit they'd rather wear?" I absolutely knew that was a lame excuse and none of these other kids actually felt that way, but at least it kept people from suspecting i had queer reasons for my queer actions. In a time where i didnt even know what queer meant except that it was Somehow Bad. Gah, this is why sex education needs to be inclusive! Even when i was old enough to learn about straight sex i apparantly wasnt old enough to learn about gay and trans people! Let alone asexuality lol... Man it was a whole nother mess to be dealing with an anomolous lack of sexual attraction at the same time as i was repressing something everyone told me was 'inherantly too dirty for teenagers to know about'. For so long i was just told that crossdressing was 'a sick fetish men have for wearing women's underwear' not just.. A woman is a woman and is telling you she's a woman and you wont listen to her. And for some reason they always obsessed with MTF trans folk in these sensationalist hate sermons, i guess because 'a man who gets off on dressing like a woman' just sounds like the more disgusting version when youre a sexist homophobic transphobic piece of shit throwing your bigotry at children. And at the same time also aphobic and telling me i need surgery on my genitals if i dont want sex. Mannnn kids those days.. i really hope kids these days have it better! I hope everyone who dealt with that shit managed to find love and support eventually, even if its still a damn crime they had it denied to them during their most important childhood years. The whole concept of 'an innocent carefree childhood' is so unknown to me, its ironic people claim they want to keep "lgbt politics" away from children in order to preserve that innocent childhood...

Aaaaanyway im rambling lol! In summary pokemon was one of my only coping methods during that childhood and the only small way i could pretend someone accepted me. Even if it was just by whispering no when the professor said 'are you a boy or a girl' and being happy at the little genderless mons like magnemite or the legendaries. I dont think i would have ever realized it was actually POSSIBLE and had words for the complex dysphoria i was feeling, if i hadnt played this dumb lil series of games.

Anyway thats probably also why i never had any attatchment to gen 1 despite being born right as the first wave of pokemania was coming out. The memories i have of those times are complex. Im just excited to revisit kanto as a new and happy person and maybe make new memories! I already barely remembered actual Yellow compared to FRLG, it was kind of a trip to play it on virtual console and remember all the tiny bits of sexist writing that games used to have during that era. It was like 'whoa i never noticed this was wrong as a kid, this finally explains why it made me uncomfortable!' Also the gameplay was glitchy and the plot nonexistant and the translation rudimentary and limited. And the mons weren't very good and i prefer pretty much every other generation and especially Garbodor and Vanillite, dammit!

Ok im going offtopic again

So yeah like i said im happy that Let's Go has managed to make me hype even thougj i didnt enjoy kanto the first time around! And its good how much it represents my journey out of that shitty childhood so now i can revisit it and pretend this is my first time and None Of That Happened, Thanks

So anyway bunni draws past self. And gets emotional. And rambles for hours in a dumb post.

Ok bye