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dangermousie · 6 months ago

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Hey dangermousie some time when you're feeling up for an ask: what are your favorite webnovels? Like danmei, bg, general fiction, anything. You've shared so many intetesting sounding novels in other posts so I was curious what some of the top favorites are? I remember Sha Po Lang, Ever Night, and The Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir (which I'm reading because of you ToT)

I love this ask! I am gonna limit myself to 35 novels or we will be here all night. The usual caveat is - this is very personal. You will see that out of 35 (well, 36) novels, there is only one modern, there is a lot of angst and things like noncon and unhealthy relationships don't bother me. But I dislike harem infights and protags who are too OP.

35 I Became the Older Brother of the Heroine in an Abusive Novel by Liu Gou Hua (danmei) - a lovely novel where one half of otp is healthy and wholesome and the other abused feral wreck who melts under sanity and care.

34 After the Disabled God of War Became My Concubine by Liu Gou Hua (danmei) - our MC is a modern person who transmigrates into a historical bad guy who apparently married a captured and crippled general who eventually healed, escaped and committed a lot of murder to avenge his humiliation. Poor historian MC transmigrates right before the wedding and is desperate to avoid the fate of having his head hang on the city gates for three years in the near future. Good luck! This has such a wholesome (yet not boring) OTP. Proof that healthy doesn't have to be dull.

33 You've Got Mail by He Dan Bai (danmei) - the sex in this one is gonzo and biologically questionable but the love story is wistful and sweet and somehow both hilarious and involving two rather damaged people.

32 The Blue Whisper by Jiu Lu Fei Xiang (het) - the novel is a bona fide angst masterpiece, which really delves into what it feels like to be imprisoned or to love and what makes you you. I sniffled throughout.

31 The Paranoid Emperor’s Black Moonlight Shizun by Chen Sensen (danmei) - a really screwed up disciple and a really decent master have some insane entanglements. To say more would be to spoil but if you want some intensity, angst, groveling and utter codependency and did I mention ANGST? this one is for you!

30 Demon King's Repayment by Gong Xinwen (het) - another delicious Gong Xinwen tale with a powerful ML dedicated to capable FL. This one is a great fantasy plot (I keep imagining it as an animated series) and a sprawling cast of amazing secondaries (and secondary OTPs - there is, I swear, an OTP that is Dong Hua x Feng Jiu done thru GXW lens) to boot.

29 Accompanying the Phoenix by Jiu Lu Fei Xiang (het) - the one that just got adapted into The Legend of Shen Li, this is high adventure and cottage core and funny and tragic and powerful ML being putty in the hands of capable FL and just EVERYTHING.

28 The Counterattack of the Cannon Fodder Chambermaid by Jia Mian De Sheng Yan (het) - I remember starting this and loving the realistic feel and the heroine and wanting to stab the hero. Yet the end I was on board with both the hero (who was abused and is rather autistic-coded) and the OTP. Anyway, heroine is a servant who was a concubine in the last life and got killed as part of a rich family’s harem intrigues. In this life, she just wants to keep her head down but her life gets derailed anyway. She gets sold away and eventually made a servant in the household of an exiled prince who takes a fancy to her and she endures it because what choice does she have? All she wanted was to serve out her term and become a small time merchant. This is quite realistic about lack of options for women, especially lower class women or upper class male attitudes (ML is never vicious or mean to FL but it does not initially occur to him to wonder if she fancies him or enjoys being his concubine or w/e.) It is a DELIGHTFUL slow burn tho as they grow to love each other and grow together and become one of the most wholesome cnovel couples out there.

27 The Black Moonlight Holds the BE Script by Teng Luo Wei Zhi (het) - so fucked up, so good, with monster hero who learns to love and be human and heroine who learns to love and be human (but from the other side, her tower of perfection), with a complex plot and no easy outs.

26 The Grand Princess by Mo Shu Bai (het) - a husband and wife who really drifted apart and ended up killing each other (or did they?) get a second chance as they are reborn as their younger selves. This has a great plot, a competent set of protags, and slow burn with complexity and trauma and somehow yet lightness. Plus awesome secondary OTPs!

25 Copper Coins by Mu Su Li (danmei) - a monk and a dragon? More likely than you may think. This is smart and wistful and made me cry; the romance doesn't kick in for the longest time and it doesn't even matter.

24 The Golden Terrace by Cang Wu Bin Bai (danmei) - two smart and principled (yes, they both have principles different though they may be) men navigate their arranged marriage, their past friendship and their past break up, become a super couple (one of the healthiest danmei couples I’ve ever read and proves healthy doesn’t have to be boring), save the country and bring down the emperor or two and just generally this is my rainy day book.

23 Long Wind Crossing (Destined) by Mo Shu Bai (het) - two functional lovely people fighting the world and growing up together and forming an amazing marriage.

22 Mistakenly Saving the Villain by Feng Yu Nie (danmei) - so underrated. A perfect h/c fantasy with the most functional MC and fucked up ML that never puts even a toe wrong with a premise that could go seriously bad so many different ways, instead telling a funny, moving story of love helping you heal.

21 I'll Be the Male Lead's Sister in Law by September Flowing Fire (het) - one of my all time favorite novels. Heroine is made to marry a disabled nephew of the emperor. He used to be a victorious god of war but went mad and now is basically locked away and kept as a beast. GOD I LOVE THIS NOVEL SO MUCHHHHH! So much hurt/comfort and awesome OTP and after he eventually recovers, all he wants to do is to fight and murder things and dote on wifey. MMM. He’s honestly one of my fave MLs.

20 The Rebirth of a Star General by Qian Sha Cha Ke (het) - not a typical QSCK at all, this one has a heroine who wakes up after being killed by her awful family; in her past life she was a general whose glory went to her cousin but here she chooses to start anew. Revenge is secondary to her - forming a new life and healing are really the focus. Also the OTP (FL and a male general with his own tragedy, and her former schoolmate) is just EVERYTHING!

19 Nan Chan by Tang Jiu Qing (danmei) - it reads like poetry crossed with a nightmare. One of the most unusual novels I've read and with the most alien set of protagonists I've ever read and believably so (a personification of a sword and a cannibalistic fish), I can't even describe this in any way other than a deity-centric paean to atheism.

18 The Rest of My Life by Mo Shu Bai (het) - the sole modern on this list, this is a novella about an aftermath of a regular office worker with a regular life and a regular husband being raped. It's a hard hard read but it's amazing.

17 To Rule In a Turbulent World by Fei Tian Ye Xiang (danmei) - gay Minglan is my elevator pitch. Well that or "what happens if you stick cottagecore and crucifixion in one novel."

It’s a BL novel but honestly, it’s a slice of life period novel with fascinating characters and setting that happens to have a gay OTP, not a romance in a period setting per se. It’s meticulously written and smart and deals with character development and somehow makes daily minutia fascinating (I never thought I’d find daily farming things interesting but here I am.) Farming, politics and the sudden horrors of war all intermingle perfectly.

Our protagonist, You Miao, is the son of a fabulously wealthy merchant, sent to the capital to make connections and study. As the story starts, he buys a sex slave on a whim from his friend (OK, wait wait wait don’t go, why are you bailing :P) Basically You Miao sees his friend’s servants beating someone to death, feels bad, and buys him because, as we discover gradually and organically, You Miao may be wealthy and occasionally immature but he is a genuinely good person. Let's back up - You Miao - our protag. He is the main reason I love the novel. It’s hard to write a character who is wealthy, kinda spoiled, sometimes immature and still make him eminently likeable. You Miao is also smart, pragmatic, funny, surprisingly laid back, a people person, and with a stubborn streak a mile wide. He is not perfect in any way but he is a real living breathing person I came to love.

Anyway, the ostensible sex slave he buys is a barbarian from beyond the wall, named Li Zhifeng. It’s touch and go if the man will survive but eventually he does and You Miao, who by then has to return home, gives him his papers and lets him go (not before they have some pretty explicit sex because hey - You Miao is all ‘why not, might be fun to try’ and LZF is “dude saved my life, why not.’ One of the things I love about the story is that there is no instalove - both sex and love make sense in the way and the order they happen; the two bang on a semi regular basis long before their feelings fully develop into love, which is pretty gradual and realistic.) However, LZF decides to stick with You Miao instead, both out of sense of debt for YM saving his life and because he genuinely likes him. One of the pleasures of the novel is watching LZF slowly transform from a piece of wood automaton into a genuine person who allows himself joy or temper.

So meticulously written, so smart, so vivid, such a cast of secondary characters (that friend who was beating LZF to death ended up being one of my favorite, most tragic characters in the novel because the author gets people are complex.)

16 The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System by MXTX (danmei) - a pastiche parody of web novels that somehow is both witty and makes me genuinely feel desperately for the protags. Go read!

15 Dandere General and His Lord by Gong Xinwen (het) - God, I love this one. Heroine transmigrates from modern world into a brutal slave-holding world at war (think something like Warring States era.) Our heroine transmigrates into the body of a noblewoman who just hung herself. When she comes to, she discovers that woman’s twin brother was the ruler of a city poisoned by a rival claimant and the besieging army of said claimant is about to take the city and original occupant of the body and the rest of the family chose suicide as a way to avoid dishonor. Our heroine refuses, schemes with advisors to pass as the brother and rally the troops. Once the invaders are defeated, she keeps on the masquerade and rides off to one of the never-ending wars “she” is summoned to. Our hero couldn’t be farther from this. A slave and a son of a slave, he’s escaped a horrific, starving childhood during which he narrowly avoided being murdered or raped, and ended up in the army. When the story opens, he distinguished himself in battle and as a reward, he and a few of his fellow slave warriors are invited to a banquet, where they are given some alcohol and to be playthings of any nobles who want them. One of them does not survive this but ML is lucky - heroine feels terrible and so “claims” him for herself. Instead she just tends to his wounds and sends him back. She does not fancy him or anything, she is just a human being with a conscience. And the story goes from there.

14 The Marquis Is Innocent by Peng Lai Ke (het) - this is the set up of very beautiful yet utterly cold-hearted woman marrying a ruthless, powerful man who eventually ends up on top of the murder pyramid. And a relationship that starts as a political arrangement with the husband not caring for her but then the ruthless scheming murder machine falls hard for her while FL actually does not, not yet. It takes a long time. This is such a glorious slow burn (I think by now you realized I love slow burns) and it takes her a very long time to open up or for him to realize that is what he wants (he's a very believable period man who finds it hard to admit he can actually have his happiness based on a woman) and there are steps forward and back and it's glorious, glorious!

13 Thousand Miles of Bright Moonlight by 罗青梅 (haven't seen it transliterated) (het) - one of my ultimate favorites, this would make such an epic drama! A smart as hell but cautious and wounded heroine, a hero who is a monk and a warrior but also terribly ill and such a vivid world and amazing secondary characters (heroine’s brother is possibly my favorite supporting character of all time) and so much angst and happy ending. Both the protags are such intense, good people longing for happiness but not daring for it. This has an amazing romance but it’s not romance-centric if it makes sense - ML doesn’t appear for a while. But once he does, it’s worth it!

12 Mountain and River Pillow by Mo Shu Bai (het) - a tender intense and tragic slowburn which shows the limits of knowing what will happen and the fight to reestablish the family with an amazing amazing OTP. Heroine transmigrated into her past self; this time she chooses to go through with her arranged marriage instead of running away for love (it ended badly) but her knowledge fails to prevent her new sweet husband and his whole family murdered in battle and framed for treason. All that is, except for her husband's youngest brother, barely adult and left with an almost impossible task. In the past life he managed but it hollowed him out. In this one he has a sister in law to assist so...Anyway, both the protags are smart, good, intense and amazing people and I love them separately and as an OTP. By far my favorite MSB novel.

11 Those Years In Quest of Honour Mine by Man Man He Qi Duo (danmei) - another really underrated gem, it’s funny and heart-breaking and made me laugh and sniffle within pages of each other. Its two protagonists are both walking wounded but also good people, and watching them find happiness despite all the horrors the world threw at them, watching them take care of each other is so lovely. Also, someone once described the ML as “Lan Wangji gone feral” and that is just A++++

10 The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by MXTX (danmei) - we all know that one is there even any point describing it.

9 Nightfall/Ever Night by Mao Ni (not romance centric but het) - so long but also so smart and unusual and bloody and tho it’s not primarily a romance, you will never see another ML who loves his FL as much as Ning Que does his Sang Sang. And the worldbuilding and the plot and the characters and just so so bleak.

8 Wu Chang Jie by Shui Qian Cheng (danmei) - are you an emotional vampire? I am and this novel is a banquet. In a highly fantastical setting, we meet our protagonists - the sunny Xie Bian and the intense and surly Fan Wushe. Xie Bian is a human who assists his master in conveying souls to the underworld and making sure no mishaps happen. Bian is concentrated sunshine in human form and to meet him is to love him. When the novel opens, his drunk master brings back another human to be his shidi and assist with duties - said human is uncommunicative, intense and surly Wushe. Bian is excited to have a shidi but little does he know that a story dealing with the horrors of past lifetime is about to start.

Anyway, why WCJ? So many reasons. It has such a dark bleak worldview - this world is a horrifying system where powerful cannibalize each other’s cores for an impossible chance to ascend, where gods have sealed off their realm and all that’s left is neverending human misery and hell (the only way you’d see a deity is if they’d been sent down to suffer over and over and over), where even reincarnation doesn’t fix things and bad acts are often unpunished. And the novel then asks - is it worth being a good person in such a world? More, is it worth being a good person in such a world when nothing good has ever happened to you and you have been repeatedly betrayed due to your goodness? And the answer, on Bian’s part, is an uncompromising yes.

Ah yes, the other reason to love this novel - the protagonists and their fucked up fucked up relationship. Bian (who was Prince Ziheng in the past life) is so genuinely good. But he is that rare thing - good but not saintly, noble but not cloying. So much of the novel is his getting taken apart over and over and barely able to put himself back together every time but his soul is still as amazing as ever. And then there is Wushe (who was Prince Zixiao in past life, Ziheng’s not-bio-related brother.) Wushe is not a good person. He is a monster. And he loves Bian/Ziheng more than his life and his soul and the entire world but he’s also the one who hurt him more than anyone else ever could and did it over and over. His love survived a literal century of torture in the worst kind of hell and refused the usual memory loss of new life. But it also humiliated and broke Ziheng down to his constituent parts.

One of the things that is so fascinating to me about this novel is the question of what can be forgiven/what should be forgiven/what kind of expiation is enough/can you ever love someone who you loved so much and then he hurt you so badly and is now repentant? And it never sweeps trauma under the rug or hand waves it away but deals with it head on. If you want healthy relationships, you should stay far away from this novel but if intense insane ones with a feral barely human one capable of destroying the world leashed by love and guilt to the sane deeply good one is your bag, come right in. There is also the world building and the fact that yes, the big fall out between Ziheng x Zixiao is based on not knowing all the facts but it’s not “why can’t you talk?! This is dumb!” But is totally in keeping with both events and their characters. It’s reasonable for Ziheng to do what he does and for Zixiao to misunderstand and decide Ziheng is now his biggest enemy (but still one he’s fixated on) and for Ziheng to never be able to clarify. Anyway, once again this is trigger warning central so please heed those, but if they are no issue, this one is wonderful.

7 Stars of Chaos (Sha Po Lang) by Priest (danmei) - so smart and so much clever world building. There is enough politicking to satisfy a Qiang Jin Jiu fan, it’s steampunk, and our two protagonists - Gu Yun, the empire’s most powerful general, who’s loyal to the empire despite being badly wronged by it, and Chang Geng, a cursed prince with barbarian blood and horrifying childhood - are wonderful separately and together. This is a huge slow burn but it’s totally worth it! They fall in love with each other’s hearts and brains and ability as much as anything. (Yes, this is the one with the yifu thing. Gu Yun is made Chang Geng’s foster father when he rescues him and brings him back to the capital as a way to keep CG safe in imperial strife. They are 12 and 19 at the time so clearly it’s never a parental relationship.)

6 Heaven Official's Blessing by by MXTX (danmei) - I love it’s sprawling narrative and cast, I love its inventive setting and picaresque story. It’s hilarious and can make me cry. But the novel’s place on this list is due to Xie Lian who is part Kenshin part drama WWX part pure goodness wrapped in heartbreak and trauma wrapped in sunshine.

5 (tie) The Emperor’s Beloved Ugly Girl by 一味相思 (haven't seen it transliterated) (het)- Our heroine is the unlucky laundry maid A’Chou. She is a di daughter of an upperclass family but her family got destroyed in one of the political upheavals of the time and A’Chou, only a small child at the time, was the only survivor and was made an enslaved laundry maid. Due to various events, at the start of the novel she is a laundry maid in a minister’s household and the minister’s beloved daughter is having a fit because she’s supposed to marry the former Crown Prince which may have been great a few years back but Crown Prince had since been deposed, tortured, imprisoned and now is living in the middle of nowhere under conditions that are too meager to be called house arrest. And he’s seriously crippled too. Understandably, the young lady doesn’t want to marry him! She’d rather kill herself and so she does. And so, a desperate plan is hatched - why don’t we pretend the laundry maid is the di daughter of the minister’s household and send her off? And so A’Chu is sent as the bride. She arrives to discover a broke, seriously injured man on the verge of death…and we go from there. This is so gorgeous and tender and slow in just the right way and like AAAAAA! Secondary OTPs (one of which is MM) are also epic.

5 Wishing You Eternal Happiness by Peng Lai Ke (het) - this is almost tied with Dreamer as my favorite het web novel ever though it couldn’t be more different from Dreamer, with its hard-edged and hard-souled protagonists ruthlessly cleaving their way to the world and, eventually, each other, its smart cynical air. Except in one thing - the world of Wishing is just as bloody and dark. Its two protagonists are gentle, deeply wounded souls who may find salvation in each other but even something as basic as safety almost seems out of reach. Jliafu, our heroine, is neither a modern-day transmigrator, nor some exotic princess or demoness. She is very much a period woman of her time, from a weathy merchant clan, whose beauty is her curse. You can tell the novel’s tone from that utterly bleak opening chapter where she, a favorite concubine of a capricious dying emperor, is ordered to be buried alive with him and is not even given the “grace” of white silk but slowly suffocates in the coffin, scrabbling at the lid. There is no grand threats of vengeance on her part, not dramatic opera events. Just despair and death. The whole introductory chapter is haunted by emotional ghosts - the empress’ unrequited love for the monster on the imperial bed (turning into desire for Jiafu’s suffering after he dies), the emperor slowly dying in his prime after waging too many wars, and his fear of being haunted by Pei Youan, a brilliant if sickly minister who died of illness long ago on one of imperial campaigns. There is no triumph for anyone, only loss.

When she wakes up as still a young woman, all she wants is to escape the same fate. There are no plans for power or revenge, only a desire for survival. And so she latches on asking for help from Pei Youan, the only man in her past go-around who showed any consideration and desire and ability to protect her, though he barely knew her. Pei Youan is probably my favorite het web novel ML. Despite his brains and ability, he drifts through life. In modern terms, he clearly has depression. One of the biggest, best joys of the novel is watching these two very good, very quiet, very wounded people discover happiness and love with each other. I sort of want to cry just thinking about it, tbh.

4 Ballad of Sword and Wine (Qiang Jin Jiu) by Tang Jiu Qing (danmei) - a dense political tome that takes a while to get going but then it’s a runaway train. In a fictional dynasty, Shen Zechuan, the only remaining son of a disgraced aristocratic family and Xiao Chiye, the younger son of a family of generals guarding the border join forces (and then something else) to get power and pull down the dysfunctional system.

This is so elegant and smart (a rare web novel I’d recommend to anyone who just loves solid period fiction) and you probably need a notebook to keep track of the politics and military strategy. These characters are very very smart not just because the author says so.

As to the characters, there is a large cast and I love many of them, but for me the novel is made by Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye. SZC is gorgeous and delicate and icy and can kill you before you have time to blink. Saddled with the sins of the family he had no pleasant interaction with, he claws his way out of hell (seeing the sinkhole he was trapped in, literally as well) to take down those who wronged him but also to amass power so all the tragedy and corruption won’t happen again and the whole rotten system comes crashing down. XCY is a military genius who is trapped as a hostage in the capital because the court doesn’t trust his family. He longs to return to the plains of home and to take his rightful place. The two men start out as bitter enemies, then reluctant and sniping allies, then as friends and eventually as one of the most gorgeous, tender, swoony OTPs. Anyway this is one is a bona fide masterpiece, equal parts smart and emotionally intense.

3 Dreamer In the Spring Boudoir by Bai Lu Cheng Shuang (het) - my n1 het novel on this list, smart and fierce and don’t really read this for romance because it does not start until really late, but ice cold heroine x ice cold hero both of equal brains and ruthlessness is everything. I went from loathing the ML to finding him fascinating to adoring him (and yet he softened around the edges only for FL, he never became “nice”) and loved FL throughout; secondaries are epic. If you read only one non-danmei web novel, make it this one.

2 Stains of Filth (Yuwu) by Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat (danmei) - another novel by the author of 2ha. Clearly she just pushes all my buttons every time. This one is much shorter and has a plot that is twisty but less twisty than 2ha. Still, all that means is that intensity and the pain are more concentrated. Aristocratic Mo Xi and former slave Gu Mang were both legendary generals of the empire and lovers. But Gu Mang betrayed the country and switched to the enemy. Now he is back as a peace offering by that country and Mo Xi has to deal with the fact that his feelings are as strong as ever.

This novel!!! So much pain and intensity!!! So many amazing plot twists and supporting characters. The same bleak world view, the same unjust society, the same protagonists doing right things despite the cost. Mo Xi’s intensity and inability to let go (he’s imprinted on Gu Mang and that’s it) is romantic, bone-shakingly intense, and tragic all at once. And oh Gu Mang! So many times I just wanted to reach into the book physically to protect him. The novel deals with unjust societies, memory versus personality, what it’s like to be good in a bad universe etc. And it both made me sob and giggle, repeatedly, and sold me on literally death-defying (but not honor-defying!) love. Oh, and special shout out to the fact that like 2ha, you may start out hating some characters and end up a rabid fangirl (cough Murong Lian!)

1 The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha) by Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat (danmei) -my n1 forever and ever.

Taxian Jun, the horrific cultivation emperor of the world who razed cities and destroyed sects, is surrounded on his mountain. The righteous sects are terrified to confront him but tired of living, Taxian Jun consumes poison and dies by suicide at the age of 32. And opens his eyes as 16 year old Mo Ran, Mo Ran long before he became Taxian Jun, Mo Ran who is excited at a chance to save the one person he loved and lost. Oh, and to deal with his loathed shizun, the unapproachable and strict Chu Wanning, his past life’s biggest enemy.

I have no idea if it’s objectively the best on this list but it hits every trope I love, its bleak worldview (the world will change only incrementally but that’s enough, average person will not appreciate the sacrifice but it’s still worthwhile, and love is worth everything) mirrors mine, and the sheer complexity of the plot and cascade of plot twists each of which is insane and yet completely logical, is amazing (this is a rare novel where it’s even more fun to reread than read for the first time because you keep seeing all the hints and trail crumbs laid out that you did not see the first time.)

And the characters!!! I mean, this novel has multiple universes/timelines, a side trip to the Underworld AND the demon realm, a plot more twisted than a store’s worth of pretzels and yet the thing that hits me the most are the characters. Mo Ran is my favorite web novel character of all time and I love Chu Wanning so. All the secondary characters are wonderfully written (and some of them made me bawl) and they are all complex. My opinion of all of them changed many times over; the novel doesn’t make it easy to love some of them but then you do and it’s so worthwhile! That slow change is one of the delights of the novel - I started out disliking the unpleasant, superior Chu Wanning and cruel, callow Mo Ran and then I loved them so so hard and cried for them so so hard and was in awe of their heroism and sacrifice and selflessness and capacity to love.

Oh, and the fact that this novel does something almost impossible - it has its protagonist start out as so clearly irredeemable and then slowly and painfully and thoroughly redeems him (without ever letting the reader forget what it is he needs redemption for.) Also, for a novel that made me cry so hard I felt ill, this book is just so damn funny with the most sarcastic sense of humor imaginable (the serious angst doesn’t even kick in until 90+ chapters!) Anyway I should stop or I will write a dissertation. But this is the one web novel that I would put in my top 5 not just web novels but any novels in any shape or form. The plentiful trigger warnings are there for a reason so stay away if they are an issue, but if not, if anyone hasn’t read it yet, what are you doing with your life?!

#asks #cnovel #i stole some of those write ups from my earlier posts or i'd be writing until 2025

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writing-funsies · 2 years ago

Text

OP characters as besties p.4

p.1 | p.2 | p.3 | p.4 | p.5

characters: Luffy, Sanji, Usopp

warnings: none

notes: all platonic hc's

Luffy

if you thought he couldn't get any more chaotic

oh how wrong you are

either you increase his impulsiveness tenfold

or he drags you along no matter what you say

unintentionally teaches you to not worry about the consequences of your every action

you're definitely the voice of reason between the two of you

he thinks you're the funniest person in the world

and he thinks it's even funnier when you're being serious

will flick you on the forehead

come on, y/n, stop worrying so much

we've gotta find the meat

always snacking together

there's a good chance that if you're hungry, he's hungry

and vice-versa

like everyone else on his crew, he trusts that you can take care of yourself

he won't think twice if you go off on your own

but if he finds out that someone managed to hurt you

oh boy

that person should start writing their will immediately

no one messes with his best friend and gets away with it

if he gets in a spot of trouble

you'll be right there to help him

and if anyone hurts your best friend

rest assured they won't continue breathing for long after you find them

if you're ever upset

he might let you join him on the figurehead of the Sunny

but only for a minute

cause that's his seat

he'll pull his face in funny ways and dance around to cheer you up

will ask Sanji to make you meat

meat always cheers him up

so why wouldn't it do the same for you

7/10

will always take you on an adventure

but won't share his meat with you

Sanji

bonding over cooking

you two working together to create a breath-taking experience for the rest of the crew

admiring beautiful women together

and keeping him in check when he's being too much of a perv

helping him when he gets a really bad nosebleed

fighting together

being back to back

surrounded by enemies

and then destroying every last one of them flawlessly

making fun of that marimo

tons of inside jokes

that none of the others could ever hope to understand

taking turns to protect the kitchen from your captain

teaching each other new methods to use while cooking

and always experimenting with new techniques and recipes

relaxing after getting your chores done

you two chilling on the deck

listening to the waves splashing against the Sunny

and the sounds of everyone doing their own things

while Brook plays some music to make the evening even more calming

then heading to the kitchen

where you both joke around while effortlessly dancing around each other to create yet another masterpiece for the others

complimenting each other's food

and being each other's taste testers

as well as providing any necessary critiques

nothing harsh

usually just adding a dash more of seasoning or allowing something to cool for a little longer

8/10

has a good heart

but will not be able to help you against an enemy if they're a woman

Usopp

the great Captain Usopp of the Usopp Pirates

will happily tell you all about his home

and the time he spent training

such a softie at heart

loves to see your new projects

whether that be some type of craft

or a weapon

yes anding his stories constantly

and expanding off of his lies to enemies

masters of deception

you're more level-headed than he is in most situations

but he does manage to put on a brave face a lot of the time

scaring him with ghost stories

and booping his nose every chance you get

hyping him up

helping him build up his confidence

he would teach you how to increase the accuracy of your aim using any type of weapon

singing songs together

and silently judging Nami's money habits together

sharing a look whenever anyone does anything stupid around you two

despite there being a 99% chance you two have also done the stupid thing

knowing what the other is saying without having to speak

but also understanding each other's gibberish

being excited to see his new inventions

fangirling over Franky's projects together

watching each other's backs when fighting

him standing up for you if anyone is mean to you

and you taking down anyone who hurts him

being grumpy together

having afternoon tea where you two just talk shit about anyone who upset you (crew, strangers, and enemies all included)

coming up with nicknames for the entire crew

9/10

a well-rounded individual

but will not hesitate to use you as a human shield

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tailsbeth-writes · 8 months ago

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Saw the open tag from @taste-thewaste on this! This took me down memory lane a bit 🥲

How many works do you have on ao3?

What's your total ao3 word count?

138,797

What fandoms do you write for?

Red, White & Royal Blue mostly but I'm happy to write Heartstopper and og Skam.

I've written for Riverdale, Teen Wolf, Skam France, Wtfock, Druck, Skam Italia & Shadowhunters in the past.

Top five fics by kudos:

Digital Love Letters (RWRB)

i try hard to get back inside your arms alive (RWRB) - and particularly insane as I posted this last week! 🥰)

Right Kind of Wrong (Riverdale)

your heart is your masterpiece (RWRB)

a frightening magic I cling to (RWRB)

Do you respond to comments?

Yes! They make my day, I screenshot my faves. I also love when someone finds a fic that has lots of chapters & I get a flurry of comments 🤌🏻

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Tricky, I don't usually finish on angst. Echo (Wtfock) follows on from a very horrendous part of the show or Season 5 - Magnus (Skam) never got finished so it's been left in the midst of angst.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them end on a happy note but Love, Henry (RWRB) is probably the happiest.

Do you get hate on fics?

I think there was a little back when I started in Riverdale but I think it more anger on their part for a topic I could have written more sensibly I suppose? I've had critique on fics now but never hate.

Do you write smut?

I've written it one time years ago & it felt weird. I loooove writing foreplay though! But I've not ventured into smut in my current fandoms. That might be something I do though, my bigender Alex fic might go into that if there's sequel.

Craziest crossover:

I've only done one and it was a Riverdale meets Teen Wolf, it was a Christmas special and they had to help reunite Santa with his reindeer. While I haven't watched Riverdale for ages, I'm still really proud of that fic!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, thankfully!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, I'd love that though 😄

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but I'd absolutely love to collab this year, in the RWRB fandom in particular y'all are so talented 🥲

All time favorite ship?

Firstprince (RWRB) probably. Wilmon (Young Royals) is a close second atm, I'd love to write some YR fics soon. I'm still a massive Yousana (Skam) and Davenzi (Druck) shipper too. Oh and Nathan/Annalise/Gabriel (TBSATDH) - can't remember the ship name! That show got cancelled too soon & it was basically like a fix it for the books.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a Teen Wolf reader insert fic with a pregnancy story line that I left on a huge cliffhanger but frustrates me but not enough to motivate to finish it. I also have my Skam season 5 - Magnus fic that I'd love to finish one day but I haven't found the plan I made for it originally.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and character voice I think?

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plotting? I'm good at writing scenes but writing a longer storyline in fanfic is something I struggle with.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

If you can do it, go for it! I wish I could incorporate more Spanish in my RWRB fics but alas I only got French or German at my school, I only stuck with French. Maybe I'll brush up & add some in for Henry (RWRB) or Nick (Heartstopper).

First fandom you wrote in?

Riverdale, I haven't seen it in years 😅

Favorite fic you've written?

i try hard to get back inside your arms alive is the probably the one I'm proudest of and while it isn't finished yet Her Royal Highness is up there cause it combines so many of my favourite things, I'm getting to explore darker topics in some scenes while also putting Henry in drag - fanfic catnip for me quite frankly!

I'm not sure who has done this already but I'll tag folks I want to see answer this: @heysweetheart-writes @candyspandemonium @firenati0n @onthewaytosomewhere @callumsmitchells & of course, open tag 💛

#fanfic writer #ao3 writers #personal #rwrb #red white and royal blue #riverdale #skam #wtfock #teen wolf #heartstopper #tailsbeth writes

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roadandruingame · 4 months ago

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RaR Musings #25: Re-trod Ground

In a perchance perusal of game sites and reddit threads, I saw a post asking about the risk of spiritual offense in using a tarot card deck in a mechanic. The comments assured OP that tarot wasn't even explicitly used spiritually, originally just a randomized deck of cards, no more spiritual than the gods influencing how dice might land, but one comment brought up the use of a couple games: The Hidden Isle, which uses existing tarot but with new rules, and Kult, which invents it's own tarot deck.

Given that I'd had the idea for Road and Ruin to have a tarot-esque deck for randomization elements several years ago, I try to keep an eye out for anything that might cleave a little too close to what I considered to be a good and unique idea, and that I might be accused of ripping off.

And so, I would become distraught and tormented by the realization that not only had Kult: Divinity Lost come up with a system that, at least at a distance, was entirely indistinguishable from what I had wanted to do, but that a 4thED remake was kickstarted in 2018, based on the original game, released in 1991, naught but a few years before I was even born.

TTRPG design spaces recommend doing your research on existing options, lest you discover that another game already does what you're looking for a game to do. I'd half-ignored the advise, letting myself be inspired by the gist of rules in other games rather than look too deep into them, but I'd tried to stay independent, convinced I could reason my way into good design first, and then look into other games later to see how to refine it, with examples done right.

I take a lot of pride in original ideas. It usually paints me as an idiot, one way or another. If anybody is like me, my best advise is to use a good idea, either your own or someone else's, as a foundation, but to let your skill in transforming that idea into a masterpiece of engineering speak for itself. Ideas are cheap, and a vessel of potential value, but it takes doing something about it to actually have that value realized.

In any case, after reading into it a bit further, I could see why I'd never heard of Kult before, not in the six years since it's kickstarter, and not in the 33 years since it was first released.

Kult makes a few brutal mistakes in their engineering of what is otherwise a pretty solid idea (if I do say so myself, given that I had the same). Between the insistence that they change all the tarot cards, but still use a 78 card deck of 22 major arcana and 4x suits of 14 cards, their rather esoteric (and sometimes downright opaque) meanings and applications of each card forcing players to check a guidebook for definitions, and their somber, "spiritually-guided" attitude in encouraging the GM to light a candle, play atmospheric-relevant music, create a mental space by clearing your mind, take deep breaths, let go of everyday stress, and focus your thoughts on the narrative, letting the question form in their mind, and open themselves to curiosity, empowerment, and manifestation, all because "a tarot reading can be much harder if not in the proper mood and moment", I would almost believe that doing a switcheroo between a standard tarot deck and the Kult tarot deck wasn't for marketing or merchandising, or for player ease of use or system adoption rate, so much as it was for easing the conscious of the designers, who might have felt using a "real tarot" in such a way bordered on sacrilegious.

Road and Ruin's card system didn't spring fully formed from my brow, either, and is the result of many years of incorporating cool ideas I'd seen, or interpreted, for my own purposes. As such, I can see exactly where such pitfalls could have been avoided, and why I'm actually more confident in my system than ever.

To begin with, I'd thought of keeping characters and campaigns organized using cards long ago. Rather than having endless scrawl on a character sheet, players could show up with cards that represent what making an attack, or casting a spell actually meant for them, and, Magic: The Gathering style, play their cards and resolve the stack in order of initiative, slow characters having to play first, with pre-emptive reactions occurring chronologically first. Enemies could have their info detailed on a card, which would offer players some kind of visual feedback, but the card could be stylized, to help inspire their imaginations, rather than show them verbatim what a ghoul looks like.

I'd played a game of DND's Curse of Strahd, where a fortune teller at the start of the campaign tells your future based on "drawing of cards", and these results influence the events you encounter later in the campaign, leading to unexpected stories and replayability. I thought it a great idea, given how fortune-telling "tells the future", especially for a GM-less game as I was trying to make, to have cards direct the players in a slightly more restricted way.

But I couldn't use tarot cards. Tarot meant purchasing some, and marking them up to reflect what I actually meant them to be, or having to refer to a lookup table for how they work, or learning to actually read them, an insane requirement obstacle for any game.

As a kid I'd watched Card Captors, and loved the idea of cards that represented powers or objects; I even own a deck, found at an anime convention. I'd wanted something a little bit more like that, but when showing some off, someone asked "how would this one be used?". I found I couldn't really say. It was a bad card, and so I needed to refine the system, so that it better guided the players in a more intuitive way. Less, "let me parse the heavens and the spirits for what your fortune reads" occultism, and more of a Rorschach test, "what does this make you think of?" Pop culture elements and personal experiences meant that there was no wrong answers, just tools to help guide the players, and dice to confirm whether the idea held water, or was just a good guess.

For the third inspiration, the map-making game A Quiet Year (that I still have yet to play) absolutely blew my mind with the realization that a standard deck of 52 cards split between 4 suits, could be used to correspond to a year of 52 weeks, with 4 seasons. Apparently it's just one of the most insane coincidences to happen in game design, as a standard deck derives it's 13 cards/suit, from tarot, with 14 cards/suit, with 22 major arcana, and people eventually just decided 13 cards was fine. At any rate, it got me to consider the role of suits, colors, and the cards within them differently, and so, rather than have 4 suits of 13 cards, Road and Ruin has 13 suits, of 4 cards. It's easier to come up with categories, and a small number of examples within them, than it is to come up with few categories, and a large number between them, and while the issue still stands of having to 'remember' what each number and suit combination means, this is solved by a visit to walmart and using a marker on a standard playing deck. I'd appreciate it if people purchased the deck that I made, with the art and such, but I didn't want this system to act as an obstacle in players adopting the system.

A couple years later, I would come up with the Story Roster, a tool for defining narrative flow in an emergent way, and confirm that cards could be added to the roster, their significance increasing if they were ever drawn again. Likewise, an Oracle class of sorts could preemptively draw cards, letting the players see what lies ahead, though not knowing the context until it actually occurred. If a monster was deemed "weak to fire", questing could be done until the reward for a task was a Fire-type card, or a Water-type sought to counter a Fire-type opponent, thus producing a "random, but eventual conclusion" mechanic. Of the Three Pillars mentioned in RAR Musings #24, 'continuity/story' would have a place through the use of a deck of cards, both randomized, yet permanent.

As a "tarot-adjacent" game, Road and Ruin understands that there are no wrong answers, and that everyone at the table contributes to an end experience that is wholly and uniquely their own, changed by the addition or removal of even a single individual. The game may be playable with no GM, such that the active host could not show and the game still go on, but I wanted everyone to feel the sting of a player not being present to continue to collaborate. Likewise, for a player who doesn't mesh with the group's ideals to be soothed into feeling like their time is better spent at a different, more like-minded group, than to feel like their ideas and interpretations are constantly getting voted down. Kult, as a "tarot-alternative" game, feels like it believes that players can make the wrong interpretation, but hopes that you'll get it right someday, the tarot reading a little game for the GM to play, but one that slams the brakes on every other player's engagement while the GM does the reading.

There is still work to do, however. Kult has given me insights into some ways that some cards are flawed, and will need to be updated, but in promoting "create a character/creature/item/location/cult/plot" mechanics that I disagree with, has given me pause to consider whether I'm doing enough to enable those mechanics in my own system. And, as always, the artistic mountain of having to design and paint 52 different cards (at least) sits ever on my backburner.

I should be doing some of those and posting them, somewhere. I should be advertising this and getting credit, somewhere. Ideas are cheap, engineer and refine and apply, ideas are cheap, engineer and refine and apply, ideas are cheap, engineer and refine and apply.

#indie ttrpg #road and ruin #ttrpg #ttrpg design

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theyrebasicallycanonpoll · 2 years ago

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I'll make this super simple to the anon and you op for details about the war.

Eichi had a super gay crush on Wataru so he started a "war" and while he wanted to stop because he didn"t want to "fight" his crush, Wataru made him go through with it.

No blood was actually spilt but many students found their dreams crushed and.. yeah.

— long version—

So essentially there was this prestigious idol training school called Yumenosaki, it was so famous that just having it on your resume guaranteed you a job. But then, students started exploiting that fact and stopped trying in their training which made the agencies mad that there were so many lazy idols doing subpar performances.

The teachers and student council could do nothing to stop the students to do whatever the hell they wanted, they skipped class and did anything but train to become idols.

So the name "Yumenosaki" started to go downhill.

Now Eichi Tenshouin, has been in the hospital in and out for most of his life, he loved idols since it kept him entertained during long days in the hospital and the one he loved most was Wataru Hibiki. He was also a well-known actor, and Eichi had wanted to attend school for a long time.

He was already enrolled in Yumenosaki but his health made it hard to go there in person so he usually had assignments delivered to him. When he arrived at the school and saw it's disrepair, he sought to change it so he started a plan. A revolution to this system.

So he got to work laying down the chess pieces, he built up these figures called the Five Eccentrics (Rei, Wataru, Kanata, Shu and Natsume), building them up as unreachable figures and like a scapegoat for the problems of the school and planned to "execute" them. There was also this system that basically let the audience vote which units won, and he had made his own unit called fine (referred as old fine nowadays).

Monologue:

Eichi: (That's right. It wasn't exactly smooth sailing... but while evading the worst-case scenario, we are moving ahead mostly as planned.)

(Just one more move, and as long as I don't make an error in my endgame, it will be my victory.)

(Because of its everlasting corruption, the entertainment world's evaluation of Yumenosaki Academy had fallen to the ground.)

(The decline of employment rates, the decrease in recruitment, the slander... Everybody held dissatisfaction within their hearts.)

(This current situation was brought upon by the shamelessness of those depraved graduates themselves, because of their own bad behaviour and laziness.)

(But humans always seek the cause of their displeasure and insecurity from an outside source.)

(And that "somebody who isn't themselves", the root of all evil was given the name "the Five Oddballs".)

(Manipulating information, slowly taking time to lay down the groundwork... I created that kind of premise. That kind of common sense. That kind of composition.)

(I applied it to a lucid story about morality play, about rewarding good and punishing evil. And everybody effortlessly believed it.)

(Just like a dictator from long ago said... the general public really are pigs.)

(Because of the unit system, those transcendental individuals known as the Five Oddballs were relatively weakened...)

(And with the Dreamfest system, their ambiguous strength and numerical value as an idol were clearly expressed.)

(From an impartial, flat perspective, it's people like the Five Oddballs or Tsukinaga-kun who will be the ones to play the masterpieces and give out excellent performances.)

He did it to weed out those lazy students and slowly, it started to work and his unit was at the top. Though he appointed someone else as a leader, another guy called Tsumugi (dark blue hair) who supported him all the way.

And one by one, he started to "execute" them, although only Shu (pink hair) and Wataru were executed via the live performance, Eichi took over the role of student council from Rei (black hair), while Kanata is.. a long story but essentially he was brought up by his parents to believe he was a god who could grant wishes and that was more of something Akatsuki(another idol unit) did.

(Their order of executions are pretty much this, Wataru being the last)

While Natsume (red hair) was the youngest, and was shielded from any harm. The other Eccentrics faced bullying, and often had to seclude themselves away from others.

Eichi, after all that was physically and mentally tired, praying to a god that he didn't believe in that he didn't wanna die but it was gonna be hard since his last opponent was going to be Wataru. He almost didn't want to go through with it, until Wataru himself came and visited him in the nurse's office and told him that he woukd play the role of a "villain" that Eichi had given him.

But after that was all over, after Wataru had been "executed", the Five of them had each other to support while Eichi was left alone. He had made his unit under the agreement of contracts, and he failed to notice the bluebird by his side, Tsumugi.

This was something Rei had warned him before.

Eichi felt guilty, the last thing he told Tsumugi as his unitmate was to burn all the documents relating to this incident. He was aware of the lives he had ruined throughout the war, and it was eating away at him as he continued his days in the hospital.

Yet, Wataru lended him a hand.

I highly recommend you spare an hour to watch the new anime they made specifically to envision "The War": link is here <–

oh damn, much more complicated than i thought, i will watch the anime when i am done with my adult responsibilities !

#answered asks

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marley-manson · 1 year ago

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More on Post Op

The return of Jerry Moody was also nice, though he didn't get much to do. But hey, a scene where he talks about beating up some racists while Hawkeye encourages him is still enjoyable to watch.

The vignette with the patient who incessantly harasses Margaret for like 3 straight minutes was annoying but the punchline was worth it honestly. Repeating his stock opening line to another nurse when she leaves, who turns out to be Klinger, who repeats Margaret's "Do you have any idea how often I've heard that line?" response just as exasperatedly... man that delivery was funny lol. And as far as man in a dress jokes go, the dude dealing with the exact same shit as the women around him is one of the better kinds imo.

The moustache subplot was adorable of course.

And Frank's monologue about hiring detectives to spy on his wife was a comedic masterpiece as usual. God I'm gonna miss him so fucking much when this season is over. They are so lucky they got DOS because no one else on the show even approaches Larry Linville in terms of comic genius. At least not once Margaret stopped being a villain. Like ilu Alan Alda but you're not making me laugh out loud just with the way you say a word here.

And finally, this is just a tiny little detail and I know I'm preaching to the choir here lol, but the scene with Hawkeye and the dude who got shot in the ass was a nice little microcosm of Hawkeye's attitude towards everything imo. Hawkeye makes a few jokes about it to make the dude feel better and less self-conscious about it, dude laughs and says, "Don't make me laugh," and then Hawkeye quickly swaps to a serious line. "We're talking about your body being invaded by a bullet. There's nothing amusing about that."

Like it's a solid demonstration of how Hawkeye is very capable of making jokes and also of not making jokes and taking things seriously, in the very same scenes even, according to whichever attitude is called for. He knows the things he jokes about aren't actually funny and he can treat them with gravity just as easily.

There's another line in an episode where he's joking while performing surgery and someone, I think Margaret, says, "I wish I had your sense of humour," and Hawkeye says, "I wish I did too." And again it's just a good acknowledgement that the things Hawkeye jokes about are serious and he's very aware of that. He actively chooses to make the jokes, to insert the humour where there is none, to make himself and others feel better.

#mash #marley on mash #mash s5 #hawkeye mash

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araisbored · 2 years ago

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L'automne

Oh this is bad. 2 consecutive posts about NIKI, har har.

In my last post, I said that I hadn’t decided what would be my last song for my Top 5 song from Niki’s album, NICOLE. I’ve also made known on that post that I didn’t like the album that much. But lo and behold, I was wrong. You see, right after I made that post. I immediately got hooked and thought I made a decision about which track would fit on that missing spot. It turns out to be the most relatable song as of the moment which makes another hoo-ha moment that I think it might also make it to my best Niki song list of all time. And I wanna digest the lyrics of it. (Even though it was pretty self-explanatory if you ask me. I just want to make it legit by writing a post about it.)

If you don’t speak French (like me) then you probably won't get the jazz of the title. And if you do speak the lovely language, then you probably know what the song is about. It’s Autumn, the 9th track of the album. When I heard it first, I hated it. It started weirdly for me, but I guess I’m just not in an analytic mode for me to appreciate such a masterpiece. I talked about it like it was such a complicated song, where in fact it explains itself while listening to it. It wasn’t really complicated. It was late to the entry because it was a ME problem. So to apologize for this track, which turns out to be the most intimate to me. I will make a single post dedicated to her dissecting each verse and hugging each word on it. I believe she was a she (the song). And yes, I do apologize to inanimate objects. Also this post is inspired by this post. The OP did a really good digest of the song. So I decided to totally ripped OP off. Hehehe. Let’s get on with it.

“I carved my name into your ribcage

We talked of lands away from this cage

You said, "Don't fret love

Someday I'll be my own man, I'll be free"

Oh, but darling, did you mean

Darling, did you mean free from me?”

The first verse immediately struck my heart, how come I miss this beautiful piece of poetry.

When a songwriter uses pleonasm or hyperbole (that actually makes sense). Oh boy, you got me. This is my formula for a perfect singer to stan.

Ok, just a warning. Before thins get heated. I am no good at analyzing stuff so please take this with a grain of salt and please if you interpret this song differently, don’t let my opinion change what you’ve had for this song. Whether for good or bad.

The first verse usually introduces the whole song, the one that sets everything. For this verse what I get is that the relationship is about a man who depends on a girl a lot and both of them actually know it.

“I carved my name into your ribcage…” "Don't fret love. Someday I'll be my own man, I'll be free".

The girl actually likes that her partner is dependent on her, so when things were falling out between the two of them. She was surprised when the man talked about being free, she never thought that it was her. That she might be one of the things that keep him from that cage.

“You promised home

The kind I'd never known,

But here we are, skin and flesh and beating hearts, and

I'm wondering what the hell I'm doing wrong

You said, "Let's make ourselves our very own brigade

This love, our shield, our blade"

Oh, but darling, do you see the cuts from which I bleed?

It's me you've slain”

The thing about relationships, like any other, is that you make effort. You share and open up yourself for making the relationship work between the two of you. It became your safety and purpose. So it is quite hurtful when those things that you give are the ones that actually hurt you. Which actually what she said in the next lines: “I didn't obliteratе these walls for you, to come and raid my homе”

The girl puts a lot of effort into a relationship but seems like she’s not getting reciprocated.

This kind of feeling is one of the worst feelings you can have in a relationship. It’s like walking on eggshells. You have no idea whether you’re doing enough, or you need to do more or you’re doing more. But despite your willingness to do everything, you’re still clueless about what your partner feels because you’re afraid to ask. Or you’re afraid to know.

“And here you are, right next to me

Ironically, I've never felt more alone.”

“I fell for you, faster than I fell apart (Hmm)

And I guess I'm the one to blame

For letting myself fall too hard

I ripped my heart out and put it in your hands

In hope that we'd put up a fight (Hmm)

How paradoxical, since now

All I can think about is when will we stop trying”

As the song progresses, she’s finally realizing that the relationship was so one-sided and that she’s tired of getting blindsided. Giving yourself wholeheartedly in a relationship was always a bad thought. If we’re being honest, I am also in a debate with myself whether it is idealistically to give everything you have. But I guess you’ll only know as you go through the years. But it keeps me wondering, why would you feel empty or exhausted in giving your whole self, if you love yourself as a whole. If you do love yourself, you’ll never run out of something. But to be able to do that you really need to be a whole person. A complete one, when you enter a relationship. This is why some relationships fail and some work. And this whole thing was scary.

“How do we stay afloat?

When do I let go?

All you do is blindside me, it's hard to be brave

But when the night cuts into the day, it's your love I crave

I must've thanked my lucky stars too much

They left me sitting in too much dust (Hmm, oh-oh)

You know all my dreams, you were one, so it seemed

And I love you but with you, it's heartache I breathe.

You gave it your all, just with everything you took from me”

And this goes back to what I said, that the relationship needs work. I believe it is work. Some might say that if you really found the one you love you wouldn’t find yourself working, it would just flow smoothly. But then again, it won’t be that hard if you’re working with someone. It’s always a two-person work. So if you find yourself having a hard time. Well, maybe you’re the only one getting the work. And if you don’t experience this, then you’re lucky or maybe you should ask your partner if there’s something that you’re missing.

This is a heartbreaking song because it was a moment when you know that this is it and it’s time. She finally realized her limits and that she was tired of working the relationship all by herself. It might be the hardest and the saddest moment of her life but it will be all worth it at the end. (I just know it)

It would be another kind of work for her, but it would be as beautiful as ever when done. Because it would finally be her being free from that cage. Not a lot of girls can say that and I wish for all of us to finally be free from what’s keeping us from wherever we're supposed to be.

I love this song because, sadly, I think I might be stuck in this situation. I am no expert on everything and I think I still do a lot of wrong things. But this song makes me realize all of it. It’s also good to know that I am not alone in experiencing all of this. It’s good (and oddly weird) to find companionship through anonymity. There are other girls. And I hope all men die. And I can’t explain it any further. The thing that I like the most about this song is the use of Pleonasm and Hyperboles. Or any kind of figure of speech is there. I told you good storytelling in a song will get you to my Stan 4ever list. Niki really knows her way to her words and how she will deliver. I hoped I'd known and hyped this song after its release because I didn’t do it as much as it deserves.

I don’t know how much I’ve said these but: “Niki, I love you.” Despite you being alone in those situations you give the world a song that allows others to mourn along with you. I know that you’re happy and making bread on your Instagram stories, and I am very happy for you. I did pester you to release something like this since you release your second album and I’m sorry for not appreciating this the first time I heard of it. The bullying is necessary for you to give me this album. Hey, it worked. And it’s your best by far. Please continue sharing your stories with us.

Ara xx

#music #NIKI #NICOLE #Autumn #album digest

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littlesapphicraccoonguy · 3 months ago

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I already reblogged this but i don’t think i showed my appreciation enough, whenever i got the notification that you mentioned me in this i sat right up in my bed and shouted “YIPPEE!!!” Like a fucking child 😭

It genuinely means so much to be mentioned AND complimented in a post from one of my favorite artists on this app, like im giggling and kicking my feet rn

This might just be the best fandom I’ve ever been in, I can’t even begin to express how much i love being part of it, EVERYONE is so amazing, and creative, and talented, and talented, did i mention that everyone is talented? I was so worried that this would be another toxic fandom since i’ve seen how saw fans on reddit are…yikes…but the saw fandom on Tumblr is literally amazing.

A few more things i like about this fandom is how chill everyone is? Like if someone has a rarepair there really aren’t any(or at least that many) people who are like “Nooo thats so DUMB! They would be AWFUL TOGETHER! You’re so WEIRD!” Like in some other fandoms i’ve been in. And the fanfiction and fanart? Dont even get me STARTEDDDD. I’m blown away almost every time i read pretty much any saw fanfic, SOME OF YALL GOTTA BECOME ACTUAL AUTHORS 😭 and everyone’s fanart is just amazing, perfect, i love seeing how everyone draws and interprets the characters, i love seeing people make fanart or fanfiction for ships they like, i love seeing people just have fun, i love seeing everyone’s headcanons, i love how intense and serious some fanfics or fanart can be and how silly others can be(/pos, im one of the fanartists who just draws silly things too) and the fan edits are also amazing, i have like over 100 saved on Pinterest(if you guessed that they’re mostly of Amanda, Jill, and Hoffman you would be right). It’s awesome crying over the beautifully made heartbreaking angsty fan edits, and then immediately feeling better after watching an edit of Hoffman with the caption to it being “I’m gonna impregnate this man 🤭” both are amazing and make me very emotional for opposite reasons. Another thing i’d like to mention is all the analyses on the characters and ships, like it’s always amazing to see someone make an entire essay on why they like a certain ship, or why they like a certain character, or about an au they have, or why they have a certain headcanon, etc. i find great joy in just reading them for hours, seeing someone be that damn passionate about something gives me the biggest dopamine boost ever.

I really want to emphasize how much i love seeing rarepairs on here, like seriously. OP was right when they said that the three people who will screech with joy when they see you make something related to a rarepair they like really is worth it. There’s just something so wonderful about seeing someone make a da vinci level masterpiece of a ship they really like(whether that be rarepairs or the more popular ships) I haven’t even seen anyone on here yet who is negative about it, like i was so sure i would see people say “Omg those characters have hardly interacted and they hate eachother!” But when someone doesn’t agree with a rarepair or just any ship they’re usually so chill about it??(at least from what i’ve seen) In most other fandoms i’ve been in, rarepairs are highly judged and shit, so i would just draw my fanart of it and not post it at all no matter how much i wanted to post it. And also I’ve always been worried that my interpretations of a ship(like even a popular one) will be judged. But in this fandom, i don’t ever worry about that! I feel confident in posting a stupid drawing of Adam and Zepp smooching despite how if it was any other fandom i’ve been in, i’d get DRAGGED for shipping characters like them together.

Seriously, i love almost everything about this fandom(my main issue is still with the fandom on reddit…ew), i love making dumb posts and silly fanart for it, seeing all of you in the fandom make fanart, fanfiction, edits, analyses, headcanons, etc. gives me so much motivation. all of you are fantastic people, i love all of you so much, keep being awesome <33

Heyyyy. I wanted to spread some positivity so. Reblog with your fav depictions of saw characters ships ideas etc-

My favourite depiction of Lawrence goes to my dear friend @medicalmalpracticeapologist . She made me like scary Larry. He has that authentic middle aged pathetic divorced guy charm

@gurokatt writes the best Hoffman i've witnessed in fanfiction. He has that distinct "what the hell is even going on in his head" vibe. Also their saw characters as furries drawings make me really happy

@quinngefail made me really appreciate Adam more. Initially i didn't see much in his character but now he's one of my favs. The art and in depths analysis is top notch

Notable mentions!! @littlesapphicraccoonguy for contributing to my rarepair delusions and making amazing cute drawings, please go check them out

Thanks @mandycore420 for introducing me to tappdon and for the amazing edits, i think im rewatching the Ayesha erotica edit of hoffman once every two days or so

@rarilee33 has a galaxy brain switcharoo au where they swap Larry and Cecilia, i think about it constantly

@jennilah 's werepire au is the straw that broke the camels back and made me like coffinshipping

Lastly thanks @clearmarinaa for introducing me to the fandom in the first place. I couldn't be more greatfull

I love you all guys, being in this fandom really brings me joy, with soso many talanted people around. Im honoured to be here

#sorry i started yapping #whoops #but i mean everything i said #all of you are amazing #thank you so much to op for mentioning me and also just spreading positivity in general #and thank you to everyone else for just being amazing #saw #sawposting

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davidpwilson2564 · 1 year ago

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Bloglet

Tuesday, October 17, 2023

Nice to be able to sit at the desk. Coffee. On the Spectrum music channel: Brahms/Schoenberg Piano Quartet, arranged for orchestra. A masterpiece of orchestration. And listen for that xylophone (because of its presence some people call this piece "The Looney Tunes Brahms").

Today there will be a vote for Speaker of the House. Jim Jordon, election denier and insurrectionist, is up for a vote. It is a sad for democracy, but here we are.

Later. They vote. Jordan doesn't have the votes. This is good news.

More demonstrations in the city. The "other" war.

Wednesday, October 18, 2023

Waiting for the plumber. Bracing myself for bad news.

There is a Union meeting today but I may not go. In the old days it was good to go and see a few friends. But most of those friends are now, alas, gone. "Passed" (as they say) or retired.

Note: Today there will be another vote for Speaker of the House. Again Jordan's hopes are up.

Later: Larry the Super and the plumber. It is described to me what I have to have done. I will agree to anything. Anything it takes. The plumber says he will get to me with an estimate. I am bracing myself for this.

An odd encounter: I am running errands and run into Dan Haskins. He is on a break from rehearsing. We chat for a while. The usual stuff. And then I am off to buy a pair of pants (my pants have become to big for me).

Good to walk a bit. Glad I met with the plumber. Ah, the ups and downs of the co-op owner. Good to have the Super's input in this. He's a good man.

#login

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helloliriels · 2 years ago

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2022 Year of the Crack Fic: WRITING ✍️ CHALLENGE

Break out of your usual mold! Write something you think is silly! I challenge you, be wild! be free! (your plot bunnies will thank me!)

What wild idea could you smash into a fic? What unhinged headcanon would make a masterpiece? What would be ridiculous for *you* to write? We want a piece o’ this insanity! (Worried your fic would be ToO CrAcKeD ...?? you can always blame it on me!!! 😁)

CRACK FICS WANTED! Any Length, Any rating! Johnlock, Mystrade or Sherlock content all welcome!; post to AO3 collection ’2022_Crack_Fix’ by Dec 32nd, 2022 to qualify! Accepting WiP as long as it gets cracky before 2023! (Please properly tag your entries!) Fic does not require a pairing. ACD sherlock welcome!

Let’s fill some inboxes with SMILES and spread a little cheer! 🥳🎉(Can’t stop, won’t stop! ‘til the new year rings!)

WARNING! Crack fics are not for everyone. Use of Crack Fics may result in uncontrollable laughter, incoherent giggling, unresolved happiness, and the need for more absurdity! If you use Crack Fics more than thrice daily, your threshold for seeing possible humorous plot points in everyday fics may improve. Use crack fics at your own risk. Side effects may include: the overwhelming urge to write crack fics; an excessive use of hyperbole; an uncontrollable desire to read more crack fics; and in some rare cases, a desperate pleading for authors to post another chapter to their current crack fic! Stop reading crack fics if you feel your toes going numb (Seriously, we’re still not sure what is causing that one … ) 🤔⁉️

Read CrAcK Fics | Submit CrAcK FiCs | RuLeS? WhaT RuLeS?

(accidentally deleted the OP! haha, so here it is again!) 💋

@johnlocky @chinike @rhasima @whatnext2020 @janetm74 @ohlooktheresabee @fluffbyday-smutbynight spread the word!

#sherlock #sherlock fan fic #sherlock ficlet #sherlock holmes #sherlock fandom #2022 year of the crack fic #accepting entries!#did you write a crack fic in 2022?? add it!#'2022_Crack_Fix' on Ao3 #ring in the new year with a bit of silly

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lord-of-the-ducks · 3 years ago

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I’m so glad that people on tumblr are reading Dracula and making memes about it because I’ve been STARVED for Dracula memes for literal years. I have to scour the internet for groups specifically dedicated to the book (and not the god awful 1992 movie, I’ll rant about that another time though) and when I do find these groups and find memes, they’re usually really broad and frankly not very funny. Like, impact font “JONATHAN AT THE CASTLE BE LIKE” sort of thing. I laugh, because my standards are low and I’ve occasionally found some really funny stuff, but I had to actively search for this stuff.

Now hundreds of strangers on tumblr who are infinitely funnier than I am are making memes about Jonathan being a recipe blogger and no joke, I haven’t laughed this hard in years. I also feel like the biggest fucking nerd on the planet because as soon as I see a joke/meme that is specific enough that it shows that the OP actually read Dracula and knows what they’re talking about, I’m on the floor cackling so much that I can’t breathe. It’s like that one post about chefs going nuts for memes about working at a restaurant. . I’m taking so many screenshots just because I want to have more Dracula memes to show people.

Anyway, apologies for the incoming rant, but I vaguely heard that there was someone throwing a fit over people making Dracula memes and not treating the book seriously, and I’m not sure if that’s true or if it’s just a case of the internet being the internet, but let me make something VERY clear as someone who owns 13 books related to Dracula and even more about vampires in general, and has been doing research on Bram Stoker for pretty much my entire high school career, and will probably be doing so years into the future:

This book is fucking ridiculous.

I’ll talk later this month about why I’m so passionate about it (I already scheduled posts for days I think tumblr is going to go crazy) but anyone who tells you that Dracula is a serious gothic horror novel is lying through their teeth. It’s not. People didn’t start taking it seriously until after Bram Stoker died and the book started getting adaptations. Most of the people I’ve seen call Dracula a literary masterpiece don’t seem to actually have read Dracula, they’re just projecting all their feelings about the most well known monster in western fiction onto the book that created him.

I’ve definitely said this before, but if I accomplish anything in my life, I want it to be making classic literature more accessible. I’m the most anti-gatekeeping anyone could possibly be. But if I see any supposed Dracula veterans being pretentious about it, I am going to gatekeep the FUCK out of them because I firmly believe that anyone who has actually read the book should know that it is fucking ridiculous. I’ll be the first to tell you that this book has massive flaws, from the racism and misogyny and internalized homophobia, to the fact that there are just some bad writing choices like describing exactly how the protagonists found all 50 of Dracula’s boxes in way too much detail. Seriously, I was talking to my uncle a couple months back and he told me that he’s reading Dracula since I like it so much, and first thing I did was reassure him that *yes, that part of the book is boring as hell, it could have been a couple sentences, I promise it goes back to being cool*.

Don’t let ANYONE tell you that you’re enjoying this book wrong. I’ve been making some of the jokes about Jonathan having queer dreams from paprika and being the world’s biggest wife guy for years, and it warms my heart to see people who are also finding those things funny. Even if it’s not high brow or whatever, you’re still engaging with the text. And if you are having trouble understanding the 125 year old language, there is no shame in looking things up. There’s a sparknotes study guide with a summary for each chapter, along with character descriptions and analysis, and if you think that would help you, go for it! If you think an audiobook would help you, there’s a bunch of free ones on YouTube since Dracula is in the public domain, and I’m sure you could also find some on other platforms. There’s also an excellent summary done by Overly Sarcastic Productions over on YouTube, and while I do have a couple nitpicks, it’s really funny and engaging and FUN FACT! THE ENTIRE REASON I READ DRACULA WAS BECAUSE THAT VIDEO MADE ME WANT TO! I read this book for the first time already knowing what happens because it’s much easier for me to read older texts when I don’t need to worry about figuring out what the hell is going on!

(Side Note: I didn’t name myself after Red on purpose, but when I realized that I had given myself the same name as the youtuber who introduced me to my favorite book ever and made me fall in love with literature in general, it made my name so much more meaningful)

I know I’m not the only Dracula veteran who feels this way too. I’ve seen so many people who this book means a lot to expressing excitement at the fact that so many people are reading and genuinely enjoying it, and I’m sure if any of them saw someone being an asshole about it, they would not hesitate to drag them through the mud.

This post was longer than I expected, but I just wanted to express how much I love all the memes and that I’m going to unleash my full fury on anyone who has the audacity to suggest that it’s not the “correct” way to enjoy Dracula. Also, if it isn’t clear, I also have a lot of pent up rage at people who shame others who need audiobooks or study guides

#bram stocker's dracula #daily dracula #dracula daily #Dracula

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yannieverse · 2 years ago

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Sonata Dei Dolori: Dissecting the Atonality of the Anthology “Lockdown Litanies: Countless Untold Stories” an Essay by Ar-yan Natividad

Exposition. Development. Recapitulation. These are the three main points in creating a Sonata, a musical composition usually played by one instrument. To further elaborate, the Exposition contains the central theme of the entire movement yet exhibits a different sub-theme that makes it stand out from the other parts of the Sonata. On the other hand, the Development continues the trail left off by the first point. Still, it continues another path wherein it solves the conflicts raised by the tonality and theme of the exposition. Meanwhile, the Recapitulation ends all conflicts brought upon by the preceding parts and marks the beginning of the final argument in the arrangement. But what made these all relevant to this essay is that the Anthology is shaped like a Sonata, with the only difference being the tones as words and melody as thoughts. However, with all these compositions that show atonality, different themes, and different writing styles that never adhere to the traditional writing rules, what was going on in the author’s mind when they compiled these seemingly different masterpieces into one collection? Do these poems really have a connection with each other? Are they a thriving movement of Sonata in the form of words, or are they different notes that only produce pieces of broken tunes? Let’s find out as we dissect the atonality in the Anthology, “Lockdown Litanies: Countless Untold Stories”.

Starting with the first poem, “Dear Diary,” reading it gave me an understanding of what the persona has gone through during the past two years of their life. Their world turned upside down as they struggled to adjust and navigate through life; it felt as if everything was never changing; never improving, only spiraling downwards. But the lines “I know I won’t be the same again, But here’s for the countless untold stories I’ll ever write on.” indicated that the author and their life did, in fact, change as they embraced what became of them and dedicated their poetry to the significant events in the past two years that made them who they are today. With the persona recalling the past, I remembered the classical piece Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2 by Frédéric Chopin because it is usually played in movies or TV shows every time the character reminisces or ponders about their life. This piece is also executed with a legato melody, with each note calmly executed, slowly expanding the higher build-up of tones, thus embodying the sentimental feeling I also experienced while reading the poem. Furthermore, Chopin’s Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2 captured the author’s ranging emotions of desolation and acceptance through its detached yet soothing, dreamlike performance style.

Unlike the first one that tackled the author’s personal life, the following poem, “The Tale of a Modern Sisyphus,” creatively narrated a beauty pageant between two women. It may have seemed that simple, but after analyzing the piece, I managed to decipher its real meaning. The poem was political, with the two women symbolizing the two most favored candidates in the Philippine elections. One was deserving, overqualified for her desired position, and served as the ultimate hope. At the same time, the other one was clueless, unaware of the fundamental issues that needed to be addressed. Yet the latter still won the majority of people’s votes, completely taking out the ray of light that could have been the answer to our country’s cries for help. Meanwhile, in the second part of the poem, it is evident with these lines “And so we witness a life of a modern Sisyphus Not defined by her defeat, but of being gracious— Gracious to push the boulder up the mountain And start once again like nothing happened” that the author compared the ideal candidate’s loss to Sisyphus and the punishment he has received from Zeus, for this person continued to help our countrymen despite losing. Analyzing this gave me a lot of unspoken anger and planted seeds of “what ifs” in my mind. This is why I can relate Ludwig van Beethoven’s Sonata No. 23 Appassionata 3rd Movement to the poem. Beethoven’s Appassionata was composed when he was almost deaf; therefore, the only way he made this piece was through visualization of sceneries, imagining the melody of his composition, by holding onto and pouring the aggravation that was caused by his loss of hearing. The playing style of this piece was jittery, with notes hit on aggressively while scaling, pulling me into an endless mixture of vexation, confusion, and frustration while listening to the music and, at the same time, reading the poem. Appassionata, for me, perfectly described “The Tale of a Modern Sisyphus” in a musical way. This classical piece emanated the rising, fiery tension throughout the contest. And even though the pageant ended, the pressure became stronger, just like Appassionata’s connected movements. There exists this fear and anticipation about whether we, the judges, made the right decision in choosing the winner that will determine the country’s future. Everyone awaits. Will we receive an unexpected twist or face that continual downfall? With this, I quote the poem’s last line, “Only to realize, are we not Sisyphus after all?”

Moving on to the following poem, “O’ Yayi” tells a bittersweet story of the narrator’s life with Yayi, his wife, from his point of view. What struck me the most was the line, “Dante was her resistance and his laughter was her symphony.” This shows that the narrator knows that Yayi’s love will never be his. Yet, he accepts it by acknowledging his wife and her past beloved’s relationship with the line “their love was an oath not to be torn apart.” Baffled, never have I thought that someone could love a person that much, to the point that they are willing to continue witnessing that person live for another man and respect it in exchange for their mere presence. Thus, another work of Frédéric Chopin, Nocturne Op. 9 No. 1, came to mind while reading this poem since it was like the composer made the piece with “O’ Yayi” in his imagination. To further elaborate, Nocturne Op. 9 No. 1 has a similar performance style to the music compared to the first poem. Still, Op. 9 No. 1 expresses nostalgia with a mix of bitterness at the opening, just like how Yayi’s husband narrated the beginning of his life with Yayi, an introduction full of acceptance, love, and overcoming hardships. Yet, the piece’s middle section drastically changed into dramatic and agitated tones, equivalent to how the narrator felt when his wife’s memory became fallible, making her only remember her ex-lover, Dante. However, there’s still that feeling of serenity among the complex agitation in both the classical piece and poem as Yayi’s husband continues to describe her everyday routine. At the end, when Yayi died, her husband came to her grave, asking her, “If ever I run out of time here and reach the other side, whose arms would you run back again, mine or Dante’s?” With that, I can say that Chopin’s Nocturne Op. 9 No. 1 flawlessly conveys the emotions embroidered in “O’ Yayi” --- a fusion of love, passion, pain, endurance, and longing.

Now, for the fourth poem, “Two Red Laces on the Wonderwall” contains what seems to be a war of desires, with both of them trying to burn another with their lust, trying to tire each other evidently in the line “Headboard creaks ’til the bathroom light breaks.” This poem reminds me of Sergei Rachmaninoff’s Etude Tableau Op. 39 No. 6, also known as The Little Red Riding Hood. Aside from having the word “red” in both of their titles, the classical music is like the embodiment of the poem, for it is actually played in a “continual climax,” just like how the piece started with a ‘bang!’ and continued to arouse the reader’s mind with anticipation of what would happen next. Described by modern musicians as a narration of the chase between the girl and the wolf, Little Red Riding Hood is also composed similarly. The music started with a series of low notes representing a wolf’s slow growl, gradually becoming faster as if the animal was coming closer. Comparably, the poem is a constant chase of satisfaction for both parties’ unquenchable thirst. Nevertheless, when the ending comes, there’s still the unexpected twist with the line “Maybe you should get yourself tested,” indicating that the person whose point of view we are reading may have contracted a disease while trying to extinguish their burning desire through different people. Similarly, Rachmaninoff’s Etude Tableau Op. 39 No. 6 served the consistent dynamic all throughout the composition and still managed to surprise the listeners with an insane chromatic run in the end, as if the wolf successfully caught the girl instead of following the original storyline of Little Red Riding Hood.

For the fifth work in the anthology, “Umbilical” uncovers a completely different side of a story. I interpreted it as a poem about a woman getting pregnant and dying after giving birth, but instead of the mother’s point of view, “Umbilical” is narrated by the child and how they begged throughout the whole process of pregnancy to let their mother survive giving birth to them. It is shown in the last line of almost all stanzas, “Lilom, Lilom, I beg. Spare her for me,” how desperate the infant begged for the higher beings to spare their mother’s life. I cannot imagine how excruciating it must have been for both the infant and the mother for them to only know each other within those 9 months, and yet will not be able to feel each other’s arms with warmth. Because of this, I relate Maurice Ravel’s Pavane our une Infante Défunte (Pavane for a Dead Princess) to the poem. With Ravel’s Pavane often assumed by the performers today as a piece of dedication for a princess who had died back then, both the poem and the song exude the melancholy and the sentimental thoughts of people. These masterpieces may also have evoked a stream of imagination for the loved ones of those who died, dreaming of scenarios with their dearly departed, scenarios that could have happened if only they were still alive. But somehow, the specific line in the poem, “Hush, sleep tight. Everything will be alright.” is also manifested in Ravel’s Pavane for a Dead Princess through its idyllic tonality.

Meanwhile, the 6th masterpiece found in the Anthology “RE: Paper (I’m Red, IMRaD)*” is the most straightforward piece that requires no complex interpretation, just a deeper understanding of what the author wants to convey–their suppressed frustration towards the makeshift educational system that finally exploded while writing the poem. It is obvious in the lines “If we keep on insisting quality education for students Why not allow teachers access quality to their extent?” that the problem does not lie with the teachers nor the learners, but with the government that only altered the system and failed to improve it. It is easy to empathize with their sentiments because, as a student, I am also one of the most affected as our current government continues to force everyone to fit in and accept this chaotic educational system as it is. Thus, Ludwig van Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata 3rd movement is the ultimate classical piece that can be compared to “RE: Paper (I’m Red, IMRaD)*” because it epitomizes the bottled-up resentment through its playstyle that is full of fast, broken chords, accented notes, and bass sequences that leaves the listeners agitated throughout the performance. Various musicians also theorized that the Moonlight Sonata, composed by Beethoven when he became deaf, tells either a story of failed romance or approaching death. Both pieces also expressed distress in different ways, with the song suddenly stopping at some points and then continuing to produce harsher notes and the poem creatively criticizing the administration through the topics in different subjects that, I quote, “minds that are shut” and “mouths with no thought” cannot comprehend. With these interpretations in hand, the 3rd movement carries the composer’s fulminating emotions that scream dissatisfaction in life, just like how the poem’s author emphasized desperation and discontent throughout the poem, specifically with the lines “Help teachers help students. After all, we cannot give what we don’t have.” Therefore, the ending leaves me questioning: will the author and the composer finally achieve what they are striving for? For that question, I cite the line in the poem’s last stanza, “This poiesis in hypothesis hopes to unravel the reality.”

Following next is the 7th poem titled “3 A.M. Awakening”. The character in this poem always tries to breathe deeply as a coping mechanism every time they’re angry, as shown in the first two lines of the poem, “Breathe gently ten times and let anger go And heal spirits broken beyond restore.” There are a lot of possible interpretations for the ending of this piece. Still, the explanation that I will go with is that the character chose to take their own life after consuming their existence, trying to fulfill other people’s expectations of them. This is why I decided on Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Lacrimosa, the last unfinished work of Mozart intended for his patron’s funeral. Yet, it was played at his own funeral instead. The musical piece started with slow, lasting notes that emanate sorrow, which was then built up by playing sharp notes that indicated the anger and fear rising up, similar to how the narrator in the story slowly got fed up with people’s criticisms but cannot lash out, thus locking inside the misery which tire them out. Ironically, Lacrimosa is then converted into a religious piece dedicated to the Lady of Sorrow; however, the poem contained a line condemning heaven, in which I specify, “Heaven spoke lies to me telling I’m sick.” After a calming series of moving notes that still expresses Mozart’s woes, the ending part escalated into a crescendo, equivalent to how the restlessness accentuated while the persona was counting down before experiencing the joy with the thought of ending their own, miserable life. Both the classical piece and the poem ended with a thud, a stop so abrupt it made me doubt if peace was actually attained by both the composer of the requiem and the writer of the poem.

Nearing the end of this analysis, the second to the last poem in this anthology is “My Frail Lady.” I understood it with the same ending in the 7th work in this collection, but the 8th poem was detailed in a 3rd person omniscient point of view. The word ‘free’ is also highlighted a lot of times throughout the poem, evidently in the following lines: “Free floating, she goes,” “Free flowing in veins,” “Free falling— weight loss,” “Freedom at long last” thus completely changing the tone of the story. That is why Ludwig van Beethoven’s other composition, Für Elise, came to mind while reading “My Frail Lady.” This creation of Beethoven is a dedication of love to one of the three women in his life whose name or nickname is ‘Elise.’ One plausible theory that connects this bagatelle to the poem is that the pianist created Für Elise as a way to say goodbye and let go of his loved one. Therefore, the sense of melancholy and wistfulness can be heard as a central theme with the help of the minor keys. In a similar way, the persona in the poem felt the brewing storm of misery inside her, desperate to look for a way to let go of the screaming emotions that were swallowing her. The part where she jumped off some building as the only escape from her melancholia repeated the word ‘free’ a lot, hence also reflected in Für Elise’s other theme, which exhibited the atmosphere of unpredictability, playfulness, and freedom. At long last, Beethoven’s bagatelle and “My Frail Lady” exuded the fast-paced and seemingly light storyline, but with further analysis of their meanings, they show a tragic tale of two people trying to let go–one of his love and the other of her suffering.

Finally arriving at the last poem in this collection of works, the “Major Arcana,” specifically in the second stanza, “I …see a tragic past. A heavy, draining aura has enveloped— …trace lines of broken heart and hopes on your hand, scathing— …find your future uncertain. Six years of adjustments await— …laid my tarot for you to feel. Draw six cards and they will guide— You.” This poem is about a person’s past and the uncertainty of their future if they won’t change their present through tarot cards. Since the 9th poem talks about a person’s time in this world, Antonio Lucio Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons, a concerto that explores how nature affects a human’s life, crossed my mind as the most suitable music to represent this piece, except that the arrangement of seasons would be shuffled just to fit the storyline of “Major Arcana.” Instead of Spring, which usually comes first, the befitting season for the first parts of the poem is Summer, for it indicates the intense heat with a breeze that could be a warning for an approaching storm through its hurried playing style and dramatic tones. It is also highlighted in the first part of the poem how the person whose fortune is being read has a past full of chaos, as seen in the line, “You silently sit on the storm you created for yourself Picking the rubble of your fortress all alone, in chaos.” It reveals the intensity of emotions felt by the person and will continue to rage on unless they “Take a risk” and dive into the tempest. Moving on to the next season, Autumn frees us from summer’s clinging heat as it exhibits an upbeat and lively vibe with the help of its jumping, descending notes. In a way, the poem relates to this as it stopped analyzing the person’s past and moved on to predict their future, specifically in the 4th stanza, “What’s going for you is a wish coming true! Good health, a career change, or a new love affair will divine your life. Go for it. You may also receive an unexpected gift!” On top of this, Vivaldi’s Autumn is often interpreted as the movement where the people rejoice for surviving the summer’s scorching heat and violent storms, thus celebrating their harvest. After the celebration of a festive autumn wind, Vivaldi’s Winter brings back the feeling of uncertainty with its allegro playstyle. This quick, jarring note signifies the coldness of the winter season slowly creeping its way to people’s houses. Similar to how the unpredictability of the future that may or may not happen due to the character’s personality opens a window of foreboding dread to their heart in the poem, as shown in the lines “But what’s not going to work is your impulsive behavior. Take time to sober up and make a conscientious decision. The Hermit signals not to be arrogant nor reckless—any misdemeanor”. Finally, Spring has arrived for both the concerto and the poem. The 2nd to the last stanza, “And the likelihood after this storm is the Sun beaming upon you. Finally receiving its warmth and vitality, you will also bloom. A heraldic time to celebrate soon, Mister. Just hold on,” assures the persona that the future may be uncertain. Still, by calming and surviving the storm inside of them, they will be able to see the sun, a rainbow after the storm. In the same way, Vivaldi’s first movement, Spring, gives hope to the people that the ahead will be full of blooming flowers and dreams after the cold, harsh winter that somehow took out the warmth of inspiration that keeps them going for the whole year.

As we arrived at the coda of this anthology, I realized that this collection is indeed a sonata woven into poems. A sonata is composed of different themes that expose the main storyline, just like how this compilation of poetry tackles different themes: politics, career, love affairs, and mental health up to the existential crisis for the future. Regardless of seemingly unconnected pieces, what entwines them with each other is that all of these topics are significant in the author’s life, making it the movement’s central theme. Therefore, I can say that the “Lockdown Litanies: Countless Untold Stories,” in musical terms, is a Sonata Dei Dolori… A Sonata of woes, cries of pain, aching to be heard, yearning to be saved.

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