#another dose of toxic motherhood

[shinriha]

Fujimoto and his love for twisting motherhood

[jacksprostate]

Bob in female fight club au. Thoughts

Probably named Marge

Rather than doing a direct inversion (ie making the character the exact opposite, much tits -> no tits, etc) I think sort of an analogue would work better riffing off the motherly role Bob has, in combination with the group being for uterine cancer/ovarian cancer

The women come together, and they cry, cry, cry, over lost husbands, who left them because they got cancer, because overwhelmingly, men leave if their wife gets cancer, over lost relationships with children, who stayed but resent them, over lost Motherhood, that thing you were told was your worth but now you are told you're shit. Remaining Women Together. Despite. Despite despite despite.

What is it, about purposes. Want to see misery, see women fed their own physical oppression as lost salvation.

Marge, whatever her name is, her husband divorced her, left her with the kids and medical bills stacked as high as she is tall. She is thankful she still has her kids, it makes her feel like she's still worth something. She's had to try and get back into the workforce. No one wants to hire dear former stay at home mother Marge. She shows you her kids in her wallet in her purse and there are no pictures of her. There's a picture of her old husband, which she keeps to show her kids if they ask. They're old enough to go to school now, which is good, because it gives her more time to work. Life is hard, but she's doing her best.

Marge, who is on hormone therapy so she doesn't get those "side effects" she's heard about from other total hysterectomy patients, the future of early dementia and degeneration and horror. Who does pelvic floor exercises in hopes it will minimise the fallout of the surgery. Who carefully rips every hair out of her upper lip and chin because even if it would be normal for a woman, a woman whose gone through menopause, a woman at all — she knows, it's probably the estrogen tipping back over into testosterone, and she can't handle any more losses. She compensates. They all do.

The support group is her Me Time. It is the single hour plus half hour commute she can afford once a week for herself. So she gets here, and she cries, cries, cries, and the others cry with her, all over how their lives have fallen apart since they got ovarian cancer, got breast cancer, and their lives derailed because they can't be proper women anymore.

They cry in their waterproof makeup. Another product to promise womanhood. Identify yourself via consumption. Identify yourself by covering yourself up.

And when she finds fight club. When she finds something that says, jesus fuck. You are more than your children. You are more than your ability to have kids. You aren't a failed woman, that's a sack of shit you've been sold wholesale. When she finds something that promises her she will grow, achieve personhood, not because she was the ultimate martyr mother, not because she played the game of human or woman, but because it promises a freedom from all that, identification and repulsion of such sickening chains. When she stops worrying about her slightly deepened voice, and works to keep her dose even keel for her health, to avoid the toxic highs of accidentally juicing, rather than the lesser effects of a black lip hair or two. When she has a photo, not of herself in her wallet, but of the things she makes with other women from fight club, of the one view of the sunset from that one parking lot that she always thought was wonderful, when she has things in her wallet for her and her enjoyment. When she has corded muscle and a built up spine, when she sits her kids down and explains why they only see dad one weekend every other month, all the fun holidays, because dad decided staying with her through cancer was too hard even when she stayed with him through four lost jobs pissed away in alcohol and lottery tickets.

And Marge, who gets shot by the police on a regulation chill-and-drill assignment for Project Mayhem. Whose obituary in the newspaper talks about the children she left behind, how she battled cancer and kept caring for them, how she was such a strong mother, whose kids would now be shipped off to their grieving father who is so, so brave and stunning for standing up and taking care of the kids he made and dropped as soon as his live-in servant had a few issues. Her name is Marge Paulson, and she was forty-eight years old. She was a person. She will be remembered in the annals of Project Mayhem, lest what little there was of her be stolen from the world. She was killed by Project Mayhem, but they're the only ones who will remember Marge Paulson.

[creativelifebynherie]

It's mental health awareness month!

In 2015, I spent a year in a heavy and dark place. I knew something was off and eventually sought help from a professional for generalized anxiety and depression. I was on a low dose of medication for 6 months and then lower dosage for another 6 months. In that time, I poured into my creativity, my journal writing, hobbies and leaned on family and friends for comedic therapy (I have and keep a deep well of humor and love to laugh!) and some individual counseling sessions. I learned to let go of unhealthy people (or less time with people in unhealthy places who were not in their place of awareness yet..it's not always about cutting people off), jobs and denounced the traditional toxic rhetoric of society about "being the best" mother, partner, friend or worker. It meant alot of "seemingly" lonely nights and days (we are not alone) and the truth is, it was necessary. Because at some point, learning to become my own friend was and still is very important.

I don't know where you are today in your journey but I'm here to let you know, you are not alone. I know circumstances for many of us now have been challenging and the state of our world in general has almost literally taken some of us out of here! The last thing we need is ruminating negative talk to ourselves in our minds. So, let's start here! #mentalhealthawarenessmonth

#mentalhealth #health #wellness #kindness #selflove #creativity #lalocreativity #mom #momlife #motherhood #parenting #singleparenting #motivation #creativelivingandbeing #inspiration

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[mattzerella-sticks]

metamorphosis (ao3)

What if, when Jack was born, he stayed a baby?

A retelling of season 13, with a few key differences.

No planned schedule, will update when I finish chapters lol

Prologue - Mary I

THEN

           Mary stared out the cab window at hers and John’s home, at the bare branches of their tree reaching towards the sky and at their lawn mower abandoned underneath it, guts scattered about in disrepair. Her heart stirred, suddenly; Mary’s breath shortening as the vice around her chest tightened. She squeezed the handle, frozen in her seat and reticent to depart the safety of this yellowed rust bucket. Instinct, strangely, kicked in; Mary’s gut rumbled like some emergency siren, begging her to run to safety, run and never look back.

           “Hey, girlie,” a gruff voice startled Mary from her reverie, it belonging to the cabbie behind the wheel, “You leavin’ or what?” He tapped one cigarette-stained finger on the meter, fare ticking ever-upward.

           She chewed the gloss off her lips watching it ascend inch by inch, nearing an even twenty. It was an affordable sixteen dollars when they arrived. The cabbie cleared his throat again. Mary finally tore her eyes from the fare to meet his cloudy grey glare in the rearview mirror. He repeated his question. Mary didn’t have an answer for him, not yet.

           There was the obvious answer. Mary could dig inside her duffle, pay him, and leave without another word. But what kept her in his cab, kept the fare running higher and higher, was this selfish urge she fought against. The urge to tell him ‘no’, to keep driving, to not stop driving until Mary spent every dollar she won from hustling pool the night before.

           And she hated that. She hated him. Mary hated how she ditched a perfectly fine, albeit stolen, Oldsmobile at the edge of town for his cab that reeked of tobacco and stale booze. She absolutely loathed how he spent the entire drive lobbing innuendo her way even though every attempt was met with a polite smile and forced chuckle instead of the end point of her hidden boot-knife. She chafed at the thought of asking him for further help. Most of all, Mary despised how if she gave in, if she breathed life into her desires, this cabbie wouldn’t be any wiser to the huge decision she made. He wouldn’t judge her. He would not care. The burden of leaving, of making that choice, rested entirely on her.

           It felt humiliating.

           “Seriously, blondie, is it just air between those ears or –“?

           “I’m leaving.” She handed over what was owed, not bothering to wait for any change. She hurled herself out of the cab, slamming the door shut in her wake. Mary lingered on the sidewalk, white knuckling her duffle, while the cab drove off. The fumes, toxic and tantalizing, tickled her nose. She stayed firm, refusing to look behind her as it left. Mary knew that, in doing so, her resolve would crumble like Lot’s wife in the breeze.

            She was forged of hardier stuff than her.

           Mary began marching, each step bringing her closer to that other version of herself. Each step, and she shed another layer of who she was to become who she needed to be, what she chose. The guts of her being stripped bare like the lawnmower John left in their yard, a shell of what remained unlocking the door with the key in her pocket.

           There’s no fanfare announcing her return. Their house was silent save for the low hum of the television. Mary followed it, dropping her duffel at the foot of the stairs. She found John, alone, in the living room, asleep with stains on his shirt and a beer can in his hands. The corpses of three other cans were strewn about his feet, their lives given at some earlier time when the game on the screen actually held his interest. Mary grabbed the remote on his thigh, John snuffling slightly. He didn’t wake. He stayed sleeping even when Mary flicked the television off and didn’t stir when she collected the empty cans. Mary carried them into the kitchen, leaving them by the crowded sink, stacked high with dirty pans and plates.

           It was empty last she remembered, three days ago.

           “Dammit John…” Mary reached for the dish soap, pausing midway. Her hand hovered over it briefly. She dropped her hand to her side, skipping the chore for the moment. Mary exited the kitchen, another destination in mind.

           Urged onward by a sudden migraine, caught in its early stages where the pain was annoying but bearable, Mary climbed the stairs for her room. She saw it there, her bed visible because John left the door open. It looked deliciously inviting, Mary imagining the soft blankets wrapped around her shoulders, not John’s, not like they always were, as she sank into unconsciousness strewn across the entire mattress instead of the small sliver that John left for her whenever she finished cleaning their messes in the twilight hours of night. Within seconds, she wouldn’t have to imagine what that might feel like.

           That imagination would be her reality.

           On her journey to the bed, however, Mary heard a tiny sniffle; then a second, followed by a large hitch of breath – all coming from Dean’s room.

           She hesitated, glancing between her room and her son’s. Mary stared at the former, soul yearning for nothing more than rest. But when Dean sobbed, an awful keen that pushed the other option out of her mind, she knew where to go. She sighed, shuffling in the direction of her crying son.

           Mary slowly opened his door, a sliver of light breaking through the depressing darkness blanketing his space. The lights were off, and his curtains were drawn shut. She reached inside to flick on the overhead.

           Dean startled immediately, hiccupping in fright. Wide, bloodshot green eyes met her worn hazel, silent conversation interrupted only when Dean rubbed his fists at them to brush away any lingering tears. “Mommy,” he whimpered, the word bruising her already purpled rib cage, “you’re home…?”

           She smiled, fully entering the room. “Yes, baby, I’m home.” Mary leaned all her weight on the doorknob, shifting on her feet. “Why are you in here all alone?”

           Dean shrugged, looking down at the doll in his hands. He swung its arm back and forth, dragging the silence out. Mary waited. She waited, even though her eyelids began to droop. She waited despite the tiny voice whispering in her ear about how sweet it’d be to lay down. She waited, stayed until he was ready. Dean’s lib wobbled, silently mouthing his thoughts. Soon enough, he set the doll aside. “Dad tol’ me to.”

           “He did?”

           “Said I was bein’… loud.” Another sob racked his small frame, Dean shuddering to contain it. “I coul’… I tried not bein’ loud. But I – but I didn’t see the twisty-thingy twist, and when he open-ed it I, I was there, and it hurt. It hurt!” Tears poured freely from him like the tap water at the motel Mary camped in last night, thick and gross and disgusting. She couldn’t stand tears, or criers.

           Though Mary hid her disgust well, covering an instinctive grimace with a heavy cough. She had to.

           “Oh baby,” Mary cooed, lowering herself onto the floor. Her knees protested, the cut from a stray claw on her left calf flaring from the strain. She swallowed her pain, then beckoned Dean close so she could do the same for him. Dean crawled into her arms, wrapping sticky fingers around her neck while burying his face into her chest. “How long have you been up here?.”

           “A while,” Dean muttered, drooling and crying onto her shirt. She felt his warm breath dampening her shirt, the fabric clinging to her skin. “He said if I were good that he’d lemme out but he… I’ve been quiet s’long, an’ he never came.” Dean gasps, burrowing deeper into her. “Di’ he forget about me?”

           Mary clung tighter to her son, remembering how she found her husband. John, soundly sleeping in his chair, drunk, while their son suffered in his room. She trusted him for one weekend. He promised her it would be fine, that everything would be fine. This wasn’t the first time her faith in him had been misplaced. The disappointment never lessened. Will she learn this time? “I’m sorry, Dean,” she whispered, “I’m so sorry.” Mary pressed a kiss to his crown. “I wish I could have brought you with me.”

           She hadn’t meant that.

           Where she went, Dean couldn’t follow. It was a promise she made after the first hunt, after falling into bad habits again. These trips were hers. Outlets for her aggression. Measured doses to feed her addiction. Reminders of why she left that life, why she chose a picket fence that kept those shadows at bay, why she never wanted her new family to know what she really was.

           Dean shined too brightly for that dark hell. Monsters and ghosts and demons would shatter this innocent child into irreparable pieces, ruining him like it’s ruined every Campbell before him, like it ruined her.

           It was depressing to accept, but denial became maddening. Pretending drained Mary of her strength. Repeating lies, staring down her reflection with mantras that one day she’d not judge herself like an impostor, or an outsider, or a fraud, ate at her soul. Motherhood was not what she imagined. Motherhood did not come naturally to her. Motherhood proved to not be the escape she hoped.

           On those days where she felt low, like nothing she did was right, hunting reminded Mary that she was not just a mother.

           But that’s who Mary was to the little boy in her arms. That’s all she was.

           “Mommy,” Dean whimpered, calmer now that he spilled his tears into Mary’s embrace, “Mommy… can I haf’ food now?”

           “What?”

           “I’m hungry,” he whined, tugging on her hair, “Please! I hadn’t eated since Daddy left for his juice!”

           Mary looked down at Dean, her little boy. She watched his eyes shyly poke through his lashes and past oily, sandy bangs; how his fists curled tighter around her golden waves. Her own hands twitched with the dreadful urge to shove Dean off of her and tell him to make his own food. A scream echoed in her throat, trapped, that she was more than that. She was more than Dean’s mother. She was more than John’s wife. A fighter’s blood pumped through her veins and a soldier’s head sat atop her shoulders and it was a killer’s hands this clueless boy asked to prepare his food.

           While that storm whipped inside of Mary, she hardly let it show. Mary fought against her initial reaction, instead scooping Dean into a loose hold. “I’m kind of hungry, too,” she lied, “dinner sounds wonderful.”

           There was more to Mary than motherhood, except those other pieces of herself grew smaller as motherhood, in its frenzy, consumed them bit by bit. It was determined to be the dominant aspect in her life, the sole expression of Mary’s identity. Motherhood was a monster impossible to slay. Worse, it was a monster of her own making, in her own visage. It was much of her as all the others, conceived at the exact moment Dean was.

           But Mary wondered, if this beast that she became, that worked to destroy everything that came before it, had always lived inside of her, biding its time. That there was never an option of being anything else besides a mother.

           Running seemed pointless, then. Hunting delayed the inevitable.

           She stood in front of the stove, a pot of tomato soup simmering over a low flame. Mary watched the fire burn, hotter and hotter as she spun the dial further towards the highest setting. The tomato soup boiled, bubbles bursting and spewing tomato gunk everywhere. Some landed on her hand. Soup scalded her skin, though could not compare to the inferno tearing apart her being.

           Fire burnt away all that ugly, the darkness Mary was mired in since birth. Blistering heat will make her into the perfect mother. Motherhood was a monster of its own design, unslayable, that demanded suffering and sacrifice.

           I chose this, she mouthed to herself, I did.

NOW

           Mary stumbled out of the memory-dream, slowly at first, then thrown into consciousness by a calloused hand. She yawned, stretching, agitating the knot in her lower back. “Yeah?”

           Bobby offered her his gun, gaze darting to the smoldering embers of their campfire. It didn’t add light, or warmth, but it seemed appropriate when Mary broached the topic of stopping for the night. “Your turn.”

           She nodded, hauling herself off the fallen log she slept against. Bobby dropped in response, taking her station. “I’ll wake you when it’s time to head out. Sweet dreams.”

           “Unlikely.” He twisted, rolling away from her and onto his side. Mary shouldered the rifle, looking from him to the others around the fire.

           Crowley, in his dirty, wrecked suit, sullenly poked the kindling with a knife Bobby must have given him. He hadn’t moved since Mary closed her eyes; however, he appeared more disgruntled than she remembered. An agonized expression carved into his soot-covered face. She might hazard a guess on what caused it, attention flitting from him to the last member of their party.

           Lucifer studied Mary from his own perch. She didn’t know how long he watched, her skin prickling with that feeling of a thousand stares tracking her every move since she crossed over into this other dimension, the apocalypse world. He raised his hands, shackled by a pair of handcuffs that Mary smuggled in with her. He winked, then blows her a kiss.

           Mary spun on her heel, advancing to an outcropping perfect for scouting and a good distance away from the devil’s cold, calculating glare. Her grip on Bobby’s gun tightened. She thought of her boys, of Dean and Sam. How gutted they must be because of her decision, of her sacrifice.

           If only they knew she had no choice. Motherhood demanded it, craved such violence. It was the only aspect of that beast she understood.

[hopingforbabyblog]

Last week I was so happy to finalize our plans to fly to Seattle for our frozen embryo transfer. But what I didn’t think about until after everything was booked was whether Kurtis could be in the procedure room with me. I was just so excited to have the date set that I didn’t think about the possible COVID restrictions. After reviewing a letter my clinic sent out to everyone, I realized one part of the letter did in fact state that partners were not allowed in the procedure room. I verified this with my nurse as well and she said they were still following those restrictions. This week I had to make some changes to my travel plans because of that.

  Catch-up on Previous FET Prep Posts

FET Prep Week 1: 3.5 months until FET

FET Prep Week 2: Supplements, WTF Email, & Increased AMH Level

FET Prep Week 3: You say Future Tripping, I say Future Planning

FET Prep Week 4: Bad News from SIS Test

FET Prep Week 5: Surgery, Depression & Trip to Nevada

FET Prep Week 6: Relax! You’re on Vacation.

FET Prep Week 7: Food Plan, Medical Debt,  Post-op Follow-up, & Imagining Motherhood

FET Prep Week 8: Migraines & Some Good News

FET Prep Week 9: A Tough Decision

FET Prep Week 10: Down-Regulation Started, Infertility Group, Coronavirus Concerns

FET Prep Week 11: Possible COVID-19 Travel Restrictions, Postpone Fertility Treatment?, & The Skyrocketing Cost of Leuprolide

FET Prep Week 12: Clinic Says “No FET” due to COVID-19 Pandemic, Digital Roundtable on COVID-19

FET Prep Week 13: FET Scheduled After Clinic Partially Reopened

Countdown Until FET: 39 days (as of 05-24-2020)

    Plans Changed, Flying Solo

I don’t know how I didn’t factor in COVID restrictions into our travel plans as far as the clinic rules. I unfortunately assumed the only thing we would need to do is to wear our masks, gloves, and social distance from medical staff. But what I didn’t consider is that Kurtis might not be able to join me at all for my FET procedure because of the clinic’s COVID rules. But sure enough I double checked a letter they had sent and within the letter there it was. My nurse let me know that he wouldn’t be able to join me. I wish I would have thought of that before I booked our flight.

I found this out the day after we had to pay our taxes. No tax refund for us, just thousands of dollars we had to pay. Because of that and the fact that he isn’t allowed in the room he decided he financially cannot afford to come down with me for the procedure. It was really disappointing to say the least. I called the airline to try to get a refund on his ticket but they would not refund it. They did allow me to get a credit for future travel as long as it’s booked within one year. So I agreed to the credit, that way I at least have that option of using it if I decide to do another round of IVF in the future. 

  Taking some shots…

  …of vitamins.  🙂

  If I had known he could not be there I would have scheduled my FET one week sooner, which was their earliest time, but I planned it around his time off. One week later isn’t that big a deal in the grand scheme of things, because my little embryo has been waiting almost two years to be transferred. I postponed my FET when I found out my mom had cancer so I could help her. When she recovered from her cancer I had my own cancer scare. I got pregnant naturally and it resulted in a miscarriage, which lead to complications that left me susceptible to gestational trophoblastic disease, which could lead to cancer. So my doctor told me to postpone my treatment for six months to prevent uterine cancer from developing. I needed a total of three surgeries over those six months because they were finding masses in my uterine lining and had to clear it. Thankfully they were only remaining products of conception that they had not completely cleared from my last miscarriage, and not a tumor. 

When I finally passed that six month window of “no baby making whatsoever” that my doctor prescribed, I was ready to get started on treatment again. I made all the plans then COVID changed the world and my clinic shut down temporarily. So when I say that this little embryo has been waiting a while to get transferred, it has been a long while. I am so ready to do this transfer, even if I have to do it alone. I have no choice right now other than to do it alone.

I’ve done solo travel multiple times across the world, no big deal. In fact I preferred traveling on my own sometimes. But when you pump a girl full of hormones that make her weepy and then you expect her to do one of the biggest events of her life alone with no support, it’s a recipe for even more hormonal emotions. It’s only two days that I’ll be gone. But it’s a really special and sensitive time in my life. I feel like this is the time I need the most support, but I’ve got to figure out how to emotionally handle this on my own.

I’ll get over this initial disappointment. I think the biggest thing I want to avoid is sitting in my dark hotel room staring up at the ceiling and crying by myself. Yeah that’s no fun for anyone. So I need to keep my mind occupied while I’m down there. I don’t plan on going anywhere but my clinic because I don’t want to risk exposure to COVID. I can get food delivered to my room so I don’t have to go out. Maybe I’ll work on my writing, listen to audiobooks, watch TV, or be amused by the goofy TikTok videos. I want to try to make it as stress free as possible so I can increase my odds of my embryo implanting. Now I need to keep my mind occupied until my transfer, because right now that’s all I can think about.

  Confusing Med Instructions

When I did my egg retrieval in the past there were some confusing instructions regarding the dosage of one of my meds. I can’t recall at the moment which medicine it was at the time, but I had a moment of deja vu again, but now it is with my progesterone shots that have me really scratching my head. 

    My instructions say to inject a dose of 50mg. Easy, right? Well when you look at the syringe it is in milliliters and not milligrams. Instead of relying on an internet source to help me convert, I decided to get clarification directly from my nurse. If you look at the pictures you can see how someone might get confused. She let me know I need 1cc and then later sent another message that 1cc is equal to 1ml. So in the end 50mg = 1 cc = 1ml. 

  Mini Victories for the Week

Got a lot of cleaning down around the house earlier the other day, which helped me get off my booty and exercise more. Buring calories!

Asked my nurse some questions about my medicine that wasn’t clear with the paperwork. 

Work in Progress

Review FET part of “It Starts with the Egg” by Rebecca Fett.

Order more of my non-toxic, fertility-friendly soap, shampoo, and toothpaste. All low on them since I had to postpone my treatment.

  FET Prep Week 14: Plans Changed, Flying Solo, & Confusing Med Instructions Last week I was so happy to finalize our plans to fly to Seattle for our frozen embryo transfer.

[gethealthy18-blog]

Symptoms of Vaginal Atrophy (& Natural Ways to Protect Vaginal Health)

New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/news/symptoms-of-vaginal-atrophy-natural-ways-to-protect-vaginal-health/

Symptoms of Vaginal Atrophy (& Natural Ways to Protect Vaginal Health)

I’m a huge advocate of giving women the information they need to improve their own health (which is one reason I love the menstrual cup so much!). When I received several questions in a row about vaginal atrophy (a topic I didn’t know anything about), I knew I needed to call in an expert!

I called my brilliant friend Dr. Anna Cabeca, a triple board-certified OB/GYN, formulator of a natural vaginal atrophy remedy, and expert in all things women’s health. She helped compile much of the research for this post and she explained what is really going on with vaginal atrophy and which natural remedies are available.

The good news?

There are many ways to remedy and even reverse vaginal atrophy!

What Is Vaginal Atrophy?

In short, vaginal atrophy is the thinning, drying, and inflammation of the vaginal walls. It’s also known as:

atrophic vaginitis

vulvovaginal atrophy

genitourinary syndrome

This change in the vagina is caused by a reduction in estrogen levels (but can be related to the reduction of other sex hormones). It is typically associated with menopause but can happen at other times when hormones are fluctuating, like after childbirth. It can also occur when hormones are out of balance for other reasons.

Symptoms of Vaginal Atrophy

The main symptom of vaginal atrophy that often bothers women is vaginal dryness. Other symptoms can include the following:

vaginal dryness and discomfort

painful intercourse

shortening and tightening of the vaginal canal

lowered libido and fewer orgasms

urinary problems like leakage when coughing, laughing, or sneezing

more frequent bladder and vaginal infections

vulvar or vaginal pain

vaginal discharge

urinary tract infections

loss of pelvic muscle strength (which can lead to pelvic prolapse, inability to eliminate, or need for surgery)

While we sometimes act like our health takes care of itself “down there,” reading this list of uncomfortable or even painful symptoms shows that is anything but true!

Many women believe that incontinence after motherhood is inevitable. But it doesn’t have to be (and can even be reversed).

Causes of Vaginal Atrophy

The main cause of vaginal atrophy is a lack of estrogen.

Estrogen decline often happens more rapidly after menopause. But it can also happen at other times in life. Hormone production starts declining when a woman is in her 20s!

Add to that the toxic environments we live in and the lifestyle choices and chronic stress that can further throw off hormonal balance. It’s not a surprise that many women deal with vaginal atrophy.

You may be particularly at risk for low estrogen if you:

are post-menopausal

smoke (reduces blood flow)

use birth control pills (read about natural alternatives here)

receive hormonal treatments

have certain autoimmune diseases

Estrogen decline is a normal part of getting older but vaginal atrophy doesn’t have to be. There are many natural remedies for vaginal atrophy that are simple and safe to use.

Natural Remedies for Vaginal Atrophy

Vaginal atrophy is common but isn’t inevitable (and you can even reverse it!). The key is to do things to support vaginal and pelvic health throughout life to avoid getting vaginal atrophy in the first place. If it becomes a reality anyway, these remedies and treatment options can help improve the situation. Many of these are non-hormonal treatments!

Change Your Diet

Diet is always the first step in building health. We truly are what we eat. But the specific healthy diet we follow (paleo, keto, WAPF) is a matter of personal choice and how it benefits us.

Some people do better on one diet versus another, but one universal truth seems to be that alkalizing diets are better than acidic diets. That makes sense when you take a look at alkalizing foods (vegetables and fruits) versus acidic foods (meat, dairy, grains, processed foods, etc).

Dr. Anna Cabeca recommends a keto-green (or to be specific a keto-alkaline) diet, which is essentially a keto diet done right. She says that this kind of alkalizing diet helps support a healthy gastrointestinal tract and vaginal pH.

Balance Hormones

When vaginal atrophy happens years before menopause, hormone imbalance may be the most likely cause. Hormones control so many functions in the body. From growth in children and reproduction in adults to weight, mood, bowel health, and vaginal health, hormones drive it all.

The endocrine glands in the body (as well as the ovaries in women and the testicles in men) produce these important hormones. When we don’t get enough of the building blocks for hormones the body tries to produce hormones with what is available. This can result in mutant hormones. Thankfully, there are some simple natural ways to get hormones back into balance.

Eat enough healthy fats – Those hormones can’t be produced properly without the right building blocks, and healthy fats are key! Coconut oil, pastured butter and ghee, and animal fats from healthy animals are excellent building blocks.

Avoid chemicals – Chemicals in man-made products like mattresses, plastics, and other products can be endocrine disruptors. That means these chemicals mimic natural hormones and keep the body from producing them naturally. There are better mattresses out there, as well as easy ways to reduce plastic in the home. It won’t happen overnight, but it’s worth making changes step by step.

Get enough sleep and exercise – The body does a lot while we’re sleeping. It removes toxins, produces hormones, and recharges the mind and body. Making sleep a priority will do wonders for your hormones! Exercise is also important and can even trigger hormone production. A sleep and movement tracker may help awareness and healthy habits in both areas.

Support the gut – Gut health is so important that any of the other things we can do to improve hormone balance may not work without addressing the gut health issue first. Looking at your poop (yes, really) may give some important clues as to how your gut health is doing.

Address leptin – The master hormone leptin controls all hormone function. If it’s not in balance, the others won’t be either. Here’s how to know if you might have a problem with leptin resistance and what to do (hint: food cravings may be a sign).

Vaginal DHEA

Many women are prescribed estrogen in the form of estrogen cream or systemic estrogen therapy for vaginal atrophy symptoms. It works well for improving the thickness and elasticity of the vaginal lining. The problem? It doesn’t affect the deeper tissue or supporting muscles.

Additionally, there are negative side effects associated with systemic estrogen therapy. These include:

breast tenderness

stomach pain

vaginal bleeding

headaches

nausea or indigestion

According to Dr. Cabeca, research also doesn’t show that low-dose vaginal estrogen has any beneficial effect on incontinence.

But vaginal DHEA (an androgen hormone like testosterone) improves the musculature of all three layers. A 2016 study published in Menopause found that DHEA cream penetrates deeper to promote faster healing, while vaginal estrogen improves only the top layer. DHEA is an important hormone for libido and also affects skin, bones, and muscles.

You can find out more about this topic and grab a free trial of Dr. Anna’s Julva cream with DHEA at this link.

Bioidentical Progesterone

Progesterone is an important hormone for women when it comes to pregnancy and menstrual cycles. At the beginning of each menstrual cycle, progesterone is low. After ovulation, progesterone rises until the period occurs. Women who don’t experience this rise in progesterone can experience symptoms like vaginal atrophy and also depression. Dr. Cabeca explains that using progesterone from ovulation through the period can help ease these symptoms.

One caution: Make sure to stick with bio-identical progesterone. Progestins (synthetic progesterone) has been shown to react differently in the body than natural or bioidentical progesterone. Some research even points to a link between progestin and breast cancer. This is the cream I would use if supplementing progesterone since I know it has Dr. Anna’s seal of approval.

Use Natural Lubricants

While natural lubricants and vaginal moisturizers aren’t going to fix the underlying problem, they can be helpful to make sexual activity more enjoyable for women suffering from vaginal atrophy.

Some essential oils have been found to help moisturize the vaginal canal. Dr. Anna Cabeca recommends Salvia sclarea, Roman chamomile, Cape chamomile, rose, frankincense, lavender, and sandalwood. Always get essential oils from a quality source and dilute before use by adding them to any of the below oils:

Important note: Oils are not safe to use with condoms (oil can cause condoms to fail). Aloe vera is a good natural lubricant that is oil-free (and more natural brands of personal lubricants like this one now make it easy to use).

Want a totally free and natural fix? It turns out regular sexual activity helps increase blood flow to the vagina, which can help improve symptoms.

Exercise the Pelvic Muscles

As Dr. Anna Cabeca says, the “hammock” of the pelvic muscles is so important for vaginal health as well as urinary and fecal control. Without strong pelvic floor muscles organs can prolapse (come out of the body).

You may want to try kegels to help with this (here’s how), but kegels are just one isolated way of strengthening the pelvic floor muscles. There are many other things we can incorporate into our day that help strengthen these muscles like:

Get moving more – We’re meant to move around all day long, not sit in front of a computer (I’m guilty of this too). Incorporating more movement into the day can help strengthen those muscles.

Squat – Squatting is great for keeping the pelvic floor strong and healthy.

Hip movement – Moving the hips in circles activates all of the muscles in your core including the pelvic floor, hips, back, and abs. Dancing is a great natural way to do this.

Keep in mind that these exercises are most helpful when you use proper posture and support core strength.

Other Options to Improve Vaginal Health Naturally

The above are the core ways to support the body to remedy vaginal atrophy. After I hung up the phone with Dr. Anna, I also researched a couple of other topics of interest on this issue. There are all kinds of promising non-invasive options to help women with this delicate and important area of health. I’ve learned about most of these from doctors on my podcast, so check out the episodes mentioned below to get all of the details:

Soundwave Treatments

Evidence now shows that sound waves can help tissue regenerate and heal. Soundwave treatments use low-intensity sound waves to support the growth of new healthy vaginal tissue and more responsive nerve receptors. Benefits of soundwave therapy include:

restoring sensation

enhancing natural lubrication

making it easier to achieve orgasm

reversing the symptoms of urinary incontinence

Vanessa Gaudin, board-certified Family Nurse Practitioner and expert in women’s health and wellness at HealthGAINs explained in this podcast how soundwave treatment stimulates dormant stem cells that can enhance tissue growth and healing.

This procedure is more invasive and certainly more expensive than the treatments listed above.

Platelet-Rich Plasma (PRP)

Platelet-rich plasma sounds a little strange but it can also be a remedy for vaginal atrophy. In the same podcast episode Vanessa Gaudin explained:

PRP, platelet-rich plasma, is an autologous product derived from your own whole blood. And what’s done is that it’s processed through a centrifuge. And what that is, is separating the red blood cells from the platelets and the plasma. Once that’s completed, it actually is taken and placed back into your body, just the plasma, just the platelets. And with that being completed, you’re actually able to help promote the natural process of wound healing, soft tissue reconstruction.

Often used in joints and for other types of injuries, this method is new and quite pricey. A 2017 study published in Journal of Menopausal Medicine found that PRP can be an effective treatment for relieving vaginal atrophy symptoms. Some people report great results but there can be side effects and it is often necessary to have the procedure more than once.

Dietary Phytoestrogens

Phytoestrogens are foods that mimic estrogen in the body. In healthy people, it’s not a good idea to load up on these kinds of foods as it can cause estrogen dominance in women (and testosterone imbalance in men). But in women who are experiencing low estrogen (and who know that’s the cause of their symptoms), phytoestrogens may be a short-term fix.

Phytoestrogenic foods include:

soy (if you choose to eat soy, stick with traditionally fermented options)

apples

carrots

zucchini

pomegranates

strawberries

cranberries

grapes

black tea

green tea

hops

flaxseed

If hormonal imbalance (especially in younger women) is the cause of vaginal atrophy, I would be cautious about eating too many phytoestrogens. If we eat things that mimic estrogen, our bodies may stop producing that hormone. That’s exactly what we don’t want in this situation. With this and all health choices, consult your healthcare provider for what’s right for you.

Supplements and Herbs

There are also some supplements that are beneficial for improving vaginal atrophy symptoms:

Sea buckthorn oil – Sea buckthorn oil can improve moisture and elasticity in the vaginal-vulvar area. This helps relieve vaginal dryness and irritation. A 2014 Finnish study shows that sea buckthorn oil is beneficial in helping heal vaginal tissue and is a good alternative to vaginal estrogen.

Vitamin D – Vitamin D plays many parts on overall health and may be helpful for vaginal atrophy too. One Iranian study found that vitamin D had a beneficial effect on menopausal women experiencing vaginal dryness. It helped lower vaginal pH and reduced dryness.

Maca – Some research shows maca stimulated natural hormone production in postmenopausal women. This resulted in a reduction of symptoms. Dr. Anna has formulated a high-quality maca supplement to help support female hormone health. It’s an especially interesting remedy because it seems to treat the underlying cause of vaginal atrophy and not just the symptoms.

Prevention Is Key!

We don’t always like to talk about it, but bottom line, uncomfortable vaginal symptoms shouldn’t have to be a natural part of getting older or having children. I’m glad to know now that taking care of vaginal health from early on can help avoid unpleasant problems later. Natural remedies can even help reverse symptoms once they do appear. As always, consult with your doctor to find the right remedies for your situation.

Do you suffer from vaginal atrophy? What remedies have helped you?

This article was medically reviewed by Dr. Anna Cabecca, MD, OB/GYN and medical advisor for WellnessMama.com. As always, this is not personal medical advice and we recommend that you talk with your doctor.

Sources

Cabeca, A. (n.d.). Why DHEA Is Optimal For Vaginal Dryness, Pain And Pelvic Health. Retrieved from https://drannacabeca.com/blogs/vaginal-dryness/dhea-for-vaginal-dryness-pain-and-pelvic-health

Efficacy of intravaginal dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA) on moderate to severe dyspareunia and vaginal dryness, symptoms of vulvovaginal atrophy, and of the genitourinary syndrome of menopause. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26731686

Bioidentical Progesterone vs. Synthetic Progestins. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://womeninbalance.org/resources-research/bioidentical-progesterone-vs-synthetic-progestins/

Gaudin, V. (2018, July 06). How Sound Wave Treatments Can Transform Your Sex Life. Retrieved from https://healthgains.com/blog/female-health/how-pulse-wave-treatments-can-transform-your-sex-life/

Kim, S. H., Park, E. S., & Kim, T. H. (2017, April). Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5432469/

Short-term Effects of Phytoestrogen-rich Diet on Postmenopausal Women. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232186747_Short-term_Effects_of_Phytoestrogen-rich_Diet_on_Postmenopausal_Women

Effects of sea buckthorn oil intake on vaginal atrophy in postmenopausal women: A randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled study. (2014, July 21). Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378512214002394

Figure 2f from: Irimia R, Gottschling M (2016) Taxonomic revision of Rochefortia Sw. (Ehretiaceae, Boraginales). Biodiversity Data Journal 4: E7720. https://doi.org/10.3897/BDJ.4.e7720. (n.d.). doi:10.3897/bdj.4.e7720.figure2f

Figure 2f from: Irimia R, Gottschling M (2016) Taxonomic revision of Rochefortia Sw. (Ehretiaceae, Boraginales). Biodiversity Data Journal 4: E7720. https://doi.org/10.3897/BDJ.4.e7720. (n.d.). doi:10.3897/bdj.4.e7720.figure2f

Source: https://wellnessmama.com/386190/vaginal-atrophy/

[yesterdaysdreams]

AILA + Oui Fresh

Hello, friends! I am so, so excited to share a collaboration we’ve had in the works for a while! SO many of you have requested nail polish in our beauty box, but it’s not easy to find polishes that meet our standards for cleaner beauty. Nail polish is often one of the most toxic products we use, and our nail beds DO absorb these toxins just like our skin. Now, I LOVE to wear nail polish, so when I learned this I set out to find the best possible polish (both with cleaner ingredients and a good performance). I discovered AILA not long after I moved to Nashville and started getting my nails done at Poppy & Monroe. They were one of the brands I wanted to include in our box the most!

The stars finally aligned for us and we were able to collaborate with Aila to create a run of custom colors! The first color (pictured above) is called “Supernova”… I picked it because it was the color I was wearing on our trip to China to adopt Nova. It’s a warm shade of lavender that I just love! All of AILA’s polishes have sentimental meanings behind them, so I’m really happy ours gets to join that lineup.

We sat down with Dr. Cary Gannon, the founder of AILA, to ask her a few questions about her brand and what’s really in conventional nail polishes that could be avoided.

You’re a podiatrist, so what made led you to start AILA, a nail polish company?

AILA Cosmetics began during a challenging time in my life. I was recovering from a rare cancer scare, finalizing my divorce, managing my medical practice, carrying a full patient load, juggling motherhood, struggling to care for a child with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), and trying to remedy my own health issues. I wanted to be everything to everybody. Needless to say, the schedule was overwhelming (although no one could tell I was overwhelmed … I was a master chameleon). I was miserable. My life was totally off balance, and my health was suffering. I was completely lost, so I made a change. Actually, I made many changes.

Some might say I had a mid-life crisis, but I prefer the term “awakening.” I started eliminating things (and people) in my life that were not healthy for me. Taking care of my body and eliminating as many unwanted ingredients as possible became a priority. I started nourishing my body with the right foods instead of restricting calories (read the color story ‘Wheatgrass’). I began focusing not only on what I put into my body, but also what I put on my body.

At the time, I was selling a “healthy” product line in my office. A patient asked an in-depth question about the products, which led me to contact the company for clarification. To my surprise, they refused to provide it! This was allegedly a “healthy” brand I was selling to my patients, and that brand wouldn’t even communicate with me? #OMG

This was the breaking point for me. I was done! I was finished doing everything for everyone while ignoring myself. I applied a lesson I learned from my divorce. That lesson? When you find yourself trapped in a cycle, recognize that the only thing you truly control in that cycle is yourself.  So … I changed the cycle and AILA Cosmetics was born.

We LOVE that. What are some ingredients AILA is formulated without that makes it safer to use?

Nails are porous and can absorb some chemicals, and traditional nail products are often full of ingredients that are drying and damaging.  At AILA, we provide healthy alternatives to traditional nail polishes.

Typical nail polish contains chemicals that are damaging to nails like:

Parabens: Parabens prevent growth of fungus, yeast, molds and bacteria in cosmetics. They appear in deodorants, antiperspirants and any cosmetic with significant water such as shampoos, conditioners, lotions, facial washes/scrubs and body washes. They are estrogen agonists (meaning they mimic estrogen hormone in the body), and can bind to the cellular estrogen receptor. Estrogen is a hormone that gives information to the cells in our bodies. The cells use this information in development and cellular behavior. If the message is disrupted by the paraben mimicker, the cell may develop improperly or behave in a way the cell should not behave. Breast cancer tumors have been found to have high levels of certain forms of paragons—particularly in the underarm area of the breast. There is no proven link between parabens and breast cancer, but it is certainly concerning.

Sulfates:  Sulfates are surfactants that, when added to cleansing agents, improve their cleaning ability. The major concern with sulfates is that they cause irritation of the skin, which is why they are being removed from many cosmetics, beauty products and cleansing products.

Formaldehyde: Formaldehyde has been commonly used in nail hardeners and nail polish despite being classified as a known carcinogen by the US National Toxicology Program. It is also used as a tissue fixative and an embalming agent.

Formaldehyde Resin: A synthetic polymer used in circuit boards and molded products such as pool balls and coatings and adhesives.

Camphor: Camphor is another chemical used in the embalming process but also has applications as a plasticizer for nitrocellulose and in fireworks. It is highly flammable and toxic even in small doses.

Toluene: An organic solvent with the ability to dissolve paint, rubber, ink, adhesive, lacquers, among other products. It is frequently employed as an octane booster for internal combustion systems.

Dibutyl phthalate (DBP): DBP is a plasticizer and a common additive to adhesives. It is suspected that DBP may disrupt the endocrine system and has been restricted from use in cosmetics by the European Union.

Triphenol phosphate (TPHP): TPHP is a plasticizer and flame retardant. It was given low priority for testing after approval in 1910 because it caused minimal skin irritation and mild irritation to the eyes. It has been used in nail polish to make the product less flammable and improve adherence of the polish to the nail. TPHP is an endocrine disruptor, which means it can disrupt the messaging to your cells, telling them to change or to behave in ways that the body would not normally signal them to behave. It was found to absorb through the nails in statistically significant amounts (reference study here).

Xylene: Xylene is an aromatic hydrocarbon used for tissue processing and staining in histology labs and a solvent in the printing, rubber, paint and leather industries. Toxicity occurs with overexposure to xylene through inhalation, ingestion and eye or skin contact. It can dissolve the natural protective oils of the skin and the nails.

Bismuth oxychloride: Bismuth oxychloride is a naturally occurring mineral used as a colorant in cosmetics. It provides an iridescent or shiny effect in nail polishes. Toxicity only arises in the form of skin irritation for certain people. Bismuth oxychloride is sometimes derived from animal sources and therefore not used in AILA products.

Ethyl tosylamide: Ethyl tosylamide is a plasticizer and film-former in nail polish. It has been banned by the EU due to its antimicrobial activity but is not considered unsafe for humans.

AILA Cosmetics products are free of these chemicals.

We’re so proud to be partnering with you, Cary! We have one more question, and this one is fun: Everyone loves a good nail polish name. How do you come up with yours?

Naming the polishes is the most fun! I basically just pull names from real life experiences. Polishes are named for memories, mistakes, successes, people I love … the list is endless. ‘My 2 Jeffs’ is named for my ex-husband and my current fiance. They are both named Jeff. ‘Blue Lagoon’ tells the story of how my two daughters learned about having periods. Sigh. My daughter MacKenna named ‘Make Him Wait a Day’ because a boy used to write her notes in class and she would make him wait a day before she responded. The website tells you all about them and gives our customers a personal connection to us which we LOVE.

Dr. Cary is amazing and we’re thrilled to be working with her and her team to bring you this collaboration. We’ll be celebrating with a launch party this Tuesday, April 17 from 5:30-7:30pm at Poppy & Monroe in Nashville. Join us for mini manis (we only have 25-30 spots available and it’s first come, first serve—also, make sure to come with clean nails!), treats, and a complimentary pair of our signature Daisy Sunnies with any AILA purchase.

We hope you can come! xx. Elsie + Emma

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[bansheesgrimoire]

Yule cont.

Perhaps the most familiar origins of mistletoe's legend comes from the Celts - the ancient Druids to be specific. Druids were the peace-makers, judges, teachers and wisdom-keepers for the Celts. They possessed a unique perspective about the realm of Nature. And when they spied something that tickled their psychic senses, it was big juju amongst the Celtic clan.

So it goes with mistletoe. Druids observed a lot about this seemingly innocuous plant. They knew mistletoe shared a symbiotic relationship with deciduous trees. Herein lies the first symbolic tenet of mistletoe. When a deciduous tree loses its leaves, it's symbolic of death, dormancy, rest, withdrawal. But, the evergreen mistletoe clings to these dormant trees, and even thrives with life in the midst of arboreal hibernation. This is symbolic of life in the midst of 'death'. This is where we get the concept of rebirth connected to symbolic mistletoe meaning.

That idea of rebirth is continued by Natures creatures. The Druids knew mistletoe was a source of nourishment and shelter for both bird and woodland creatures. Birds made nests in the green boughs. They also ate the berries, which caused the plant to spread. Not only that, but when birds hung out in mistletoe lodged in juniper trees, Druids noticed the juniper population flourished in those areas. It's because mistletoe attracted the birds, they ate juniper berries, and thus insured the cycle of life for these trees by spreading their seed. This galvanized the symbolism of the ever-continuing cycle of life, rebirth and regeneration.

Mistletoe in oak trees is an unusual thing - very uncommon. An anomaly in Nature is a very big deal in the Druid mind. So, when mistletoe was sighted in the mighty oak, it was something to pay attention to. To explain, the oak was considered a chieftain in the Celtic Ogham. It's a powerful king-tree, the 'lightning bringer', symbolic of big stuff like: Strength, Endurance, Immortality. Coupled with the life-giving mistletoe meant a dynamic duo of power.

Oak and mistletoe played a strong role in fertility rituals in Druidic times. Why? Because the oak is considered male, and mistletoe female. Together, these two represent a perfect coupling. Thus, mistletoe was often incorporated into blessing rituals for new unions between man and woman. In short, mistletoe was thought to protect new marriages. When an expression of love or friendship is done within the presence of mistletoe, it is blessed. That union is under the powerful protection of some of Nature's strongest forces.

To this day, kissing under the mistletoe holds a magical enchantment...a tingly promise of connection with another person. And it isn't just for couples. Everybody knows Celts were a robust bunch, and never flinched an eye at the prospect of war with a goal to protect themselves or gain leverage for their kind. But that warring ground to a halt when Celts encountered mistletoe snuggled in a towering oak. Swords were dropped, and shields were lowered because the presence of oak and mistletoe signaled divine union, friendship, and harbored a promise of peace. So kiss your sweethearts, friends and family under the mistletoe - your smooches seal the deal of union, friendship and harmony!

Symbolic mistletoe meaning of love-bonding continues in Norse legend. The concept of immortality enters into the Norse myth too. Apparently, Baldur, Nordic god of light (son of Odin), was impaled by a spear made of mistletoe. The strike was fatal, and Baldur passed into the underworld. Unable to bear the death of their son, Frigga and Odin resurrected Baldur. After bringing him back to life, the gods made mistletoe a sacred plant, and a symbol of love. It stood as an expression of their adoration for their son. They solidified this by making mistletoe a symbol for Freyja, the Norse goddess of love and fertility. It's not too far of a stretch to connect this Norse tale with the ritual of kissing under the mistletoe. At its core, the myth reveals a theme of everlasting life...specifically the endurance of love well beyond the afterlife.

OAK SYMBOLISM:

The oak is considered a cosmic storehouse of wisdom embodied within its towering strength.

Ancient Celts observed the oak's massive growth and impressive expanse. They took this as a clear sign that the oak was to be honored for its endurance, and noble presence.

Indeed, wearing oak leaves was a sign of special status among the Celts (as well as ancient Greeks and Romans). Today we see artistic renditions of the "Leafman" in which a man's face is covered in leaves. This is an evolution of lore that dates back to earth-based spirituality in which the regal power of the oak was recognized and honored.

There are accounts that trace the name "druid" to duir, the Celtic term for the oak. More interestingly, the actual translation of duir is "door" and lore indicates the spiritually advanced Celts would access the ethereal planes of higher thought (psychic vision or soul-thought) by "opening the oak door."

The Celtic meaning of the oak tree deals with symbolic themes of durability, purity and constancy. Here are a few other meanings associated with the oak...

Symbolic Meaning of the Oak Tree

Life

Strength

Wisdom

Nobility

Family

Loyalty

Power

Longevity

Heritage

Honor

The oak's status was (and still is) undeniable. Further merit to its regal presence is its tendency to attract lightning. This was considered hugely powerful among the ancients and is associated with one of their foremost gods, Dagda.

Its attraction for lightning, its size and longevity (oaks are known to easily surpass 200 years of age) all make the oak a powerful, life-affirming symbol.

The oak is a living legend representing all that is true, wholesome, stable, and noble. When you are in need of stability and strength in your life - envision the oak in your minds eye. Picture yourself drawing into its endless energy waves. Soon, you will find yourself sharing in its power.

There is a reason the oak is considered the king of green realm. The oak is generous with its gifts - just as any good ruler shares its bounty amongst the kingdom.

••••••••••••••••••••••••

First things first...the poinsettia isn't really a flower. Nope. Its red tops (thought to be flowers) are actually the leaves of the plant that have changed color. However, as the poinsettia is typically referred to as a flower, I'm rolling with it! :)

At the time of this writing, the Christmas flower season is approaching. And with it, comes an onslaught of brilliant poinsettias. So how did the poinsettia become associated with the Yuletide vibe? A look-see into the plants origins will answer that question. But first, a little background...

Poinsettias are native to Mexico and Guatemala. It was first introduced to the United States by Joel Poinsett. Joel Poinsett was an American linguist, scientist, horticulturist and also a missionary to Mexico. The plant was named after him sometime in the nineteenth century in honor of his missionary work.

Basic Symbolic Poinsettia Flower Meanings

Joy

Love

Hope

Purity

Holiness

Motherhood

As far as symbolism goes, there's plenty. Starting with the Ancient Aztecs. They called the plant Cuitlaxochitl, which means "star flower". The Aztecs have unique flower meanings of their own, and they deemed the poinsettia to symbolize purity. Interestingly, red is also a color of purity in Aztec wisdom. They used the red tops of the poinsettia flower as a dye for skin and clothing - thus marking the bearer as clean, pure and sacred.

The poinsettia is also a symbol for motherhood. An ancient remedy of Mexico prescribed a decoction of the red floral leaves to nursing mothers to increase their milk production. Don't try this at home, folks. Large doses are toxic to both mother and unborn child. Best to leave this remedy out of your holistic toolbox.

Did you know poinsettias can grow up to 15 feet!?! Yep. If you don't believe me, take a look at the poinsettia my BFF has been growing for the last 4 years (below). It's freaking huge! Given a well fed soil, that also drains well, plus the right exposure to both light and dark - you can have a poinsettia 'tree' too! So resist the urge to toss your poinsettia Christmas flower! Keep it, nurture it, and let it show you how expansive it can get!

This brings me to a personal symbolic observation. Because it's often looked at as a disposable plant, the poinsettia is painfully underestimated. I myself am guilty of not knowing just how majestic and gigantic this plant can become when given a little care. Symbolically, this reminds us to never overlook the magic in life - even when it seems insignificant. It's also a reminder to take care of life - you never know what a little love can produce!

Poinsettia and its Christmas Flower Meaning

So what about the poinsettia and its Christmas flower meaning?

Well, there is a legend in old Mexico about a young boy who wanted to make an offering to his church at Christmastime. He was a poor boy, and had nothing to give. So he knelt outside the church to pray. After a moment of devotion, the boy got up, only to find a beautiful plant at the very spot where he had prayed. The boy took the flower and presented it to the church.

The priests noticed the brilliant red star flowers on the plant, and declared it to be a sign of the Star of Bethlehem. The priests also noted the red of the flower - which they took to represent the blood of Christ shed for the world. The priests and church members were ecstatic with the boy's discovery and offering. So much so, that the flower was named "Flor de la Noche Santa", which means "Flower of the Holy Night." It's also been called "Flor de Noche Buena", which means "Christmas Eve Flower".

••••••••••••••••••••

First, a word about the word...'reindeer', that is. Pull the thread of its name, and you'll likely find the term 'reindeer' to mean 'horned animal' in Old Norse language. Other variations mean 'running animal' (Old English) and 'wild animal' (Old German).

All these attempts to pin a name on this animal are correct. Reindeers are indeed horned - both male and female - which is an oddity. In fact, of the deer family (to which it belongs), the reindeer is the only ilk in which both genders grow antlers. Reindeer are also runners. Fast ones, too. Up to 60 miles per hour. That's fast for an average 200-300 pound beast. Reindeer are also wild. At least, they were, until humans began domesticating them. There are still wild reindeer in places today though, specifically North America.

One more word about the moniker 'reindeer'. It's synonymous with 'caribou'. The two terms are interchangeable. So, if you see a caribou in the wild or at the zoo - your essentially eyeing up a reindeer.

Now that those preliminaries are out of the way, let's romp our way through some wicked-keen reindeer symbolism. First, a quick-list of meanings...

Core Symbolic Reindeer Meanings

Travel

Surety

Service

Guidance

Sensitivity

Advantage

Exploration

Opportunity

We can look at physique and behavior to glean valuable symbolic lessons from this grand creature. For example, a reindeer's design is unique to the harsh environments in which they live. From snoot to foot, these creatures are crafted in a thoughtful way that lets them eek out a relatively decent living in the cold terrain they roam. The following are some examples of reindeer divine design, and how these highlights apply to living a symbolic life.

As a totem, the reindeer stands for being sure-footed. We can call upon reindeer energy when we need traction to maneuver in a slick situation. Why? It has to do with reindeer feet. They adapt to the seasons. In cold winter months, their footpads constrict. They become tight, rough and leathery. This gives them friction to navigate on slick ice and snow. Rough pads also allows reindeer to dig through ice and snow for tender green morsels to eat. In warmer, summer months their footpads become soft and spongy. This allows easy movement through muddy, sloggy terrain. You know that joke: "Have a nice trip? See ya next fall!" - Reindeer won't get that joke. Due to their specialized foot-design, it's highly unlikely you're ever going to see a reindeer trip and fall. This is a great lesson for us humans. Reindeer teaches us to utilize our internal advantages to get sure footing in any situation. We are all equipped with unique gifts we can use to easily walk through challenges.

[sherristockman]

Curcumin — A Novel Treatment Alternative for Depression Dr. Mercola By Dr. Mercola Curcumin, the active ingredient in the Indian spice turmeric, is a polyphenol with over 160 potentially therapeutic activities, including antioxidant, anti-inflammatory and anticancer effects.1 Importantly, it has the ability to cross your blood-brain barrier and exhibits potent neuroprotective properties, suggesting it may be useful for neurodegenerative disorders such as Parkinson’s disease. Recent research also suggests it may be helpful against depression. Remember, though, that curcumin is very poorly absorbed, so if you want to use it therapeutically, make sure you use a supplement that is optimized for maximum absorption; otherwise you won’t get the results described below. Curcumin Helps Relieve Depressive Symptoms According to a meta-analysis2 of six short-term, placebo-controlled clinical trials, curcumin “appears to be safe, well-tolerated and efficacious among depressed patients,” and could serve as a “novel antidepressant.” Three of the trials also reported significant anti-anxiety effects. Another recent study3,4 evaluating curcumin’s effect on depression was done in Australia. A total of 123 people diagnosed with major depressive disorder were included in the double-blind, randomized study, receiving one of four treatments for 12 weeks: Placebo Low-dose (250 mg) curcumin extract High-dose (500 mg) curcumin extract Low-dose curcumin extract with 15 mg of saffron Compared to placebo, all three treatment groups experienced improvement in their symptoms. Curcumin was particularly effective for those with atypical depression. Interestingly, there was no significant difference in efficacy between high and low dosages. According to the authors: “These findings suggest that there was insufficient power in the study to detect group differences, or that there was a ceiling antidepressant effect of these natural spices. This ceiling may have been achieved with the administration of the low-dose curcumin alone. The inclusion of a stand-alone saffron condition would be desirable in future studies." Saffron Also Has Antidepressant Effects Indeed, saffron may actually have antidepressant effects in its own right. Other studies have shown two of its active components, crocin and safranal, have antidepressant effects.5 In one study,6 depressed patients taking 30 mg of Crocus sativus (saffron) each day for eight weeks experienced the same amount of relief as those taking 20 mg of fluoxetine (generic Prozac). Two additional studies7,8 have confirmed saffron has an effectiveness equal to that of fluoxetine. Curcumin May Benefit Many Neuropsychiatric Disorders Another scientific review9 in the Journal of Psychopharmacology, which assessed curcumin’s beneficial effect on depression and other psychiatric disorders, noted that: “[C]urcumin can influence an array of biological activities. Many of these, such as its anti-inflammatory, antioxidant, neuroprotective and monoaminergic effects are dysregulated in several neuropsychiatric disorders … [I]n vitro, animal and human studies investigating … curcumin as a treatment for neuropsychiatric disorders such as major depressive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), bipolar disorder … and autism are reviewed … It is concluded that curcumin is a promising, natural agent for many of these conditions …” One of the mechanisms behind curcumin’s beneficial impact on neuropsychiatric disorders such as depression appears to be its ability to tame the flames of inflammation, which can wreak havoc on your psychiatric health. Gastrointestinal Inflammation Raises Depression Risk Previous research10 suggests gastrointestinal (GI) inflammation in particular may play a critical role in the development of depression, as depression is often found alongside GI inflammation and/or autoimmune diseases, cardiovascular diseases, neurodegenerative diseases, type 2 diabetes and cancer. Chronic low-grade inflammation is a hallmark of and significant contributing factor to all of these conditions, leading researchers to suggest “depression may be a neuropsychiatric manifestation of a chronic inflammatory syndrome.” The study of these connections is known as psychoneuroimmunology, i.e., the impact of inflammation on behavior. As noted in a 2012 study:11 “Elevated biomarkers of inflammation … have been found in depressed patients, and administration of inflammatory stimuli has been associated with the development of depressive symptoms. Data also have demonstrated that inflammatory cytokines can interact with multiple pathways known to be involved in the development of depression, including monoamine metabolism, neuroendocrine function, synaptic plasticity and neurocircuits relevant to mood regulation … Psychosocial stress, diet, obesity, a leaky gut and an imbalance between regulatory and pro-inflammatory T cells also contribute to inflammation and may serve as a focus for preventative strategies relevant to both the development of depression and its recurrence.” Controlling Inflammation Is Best Done Through Lifestyle Changes According to Dr. Hyla Cass,12 whom I’ve interviewed on this topic, approximately one-third of depressed patients have high levels of inflammation, and anti-inflammatory drugs have actually been shown to favorably alter neurochemical pathways involved in depression.13 The arthritis drug sirukumab is currently being tested on depressed patients. GlaxoSmithKline and others are also working on developing anti-inflammatory drugs targeting depression. The problem with this approach is that most drugs have side effects — sometimes terminal, as the 60,000 who died from the anti-inflammatory Vioxx. Fortunately, you don’t need drugs to combat inflammation. One of the most effective ways to quell inflammation is to eat a cyclical ketogenic diet. In fact, one of the most remarkable effects of nutritional ketosis is that your C-reactive protein (CRP) level (an inflammatory marker) virtually disappears. It can really drive your inflammation levels about as low as they can go. Other important anti-inflammatory strategies that are strongly recommended for prevention and treatment of depression are animal-based omega-3 and vitamin D. It appears curcumin may be a valuable adjunct as well, judging by recent studies. Another crucial contributor to inflammation is to reduce your exposure to EMF. This means keeping your cellphone in airplane mode unless you are using it and never holding it next to your ear. Turning off your Wi-Fi router at night is also crucial. Aside from general GI inflammation, a number of studies have concluded the primary cause of inflammation is related specifically to dysfunction of the gut-brain axis,14 which is largely lifestyle driven. Diet, exercise and toxic exposures, for example, all have the ability to influence your gut microbiome, thereby affecting your gut-brain axis. One of the reasons sugar is so detrimental to your mental health is because it triggers a cascade of chemical reactions — starting with elevated insulin — that promote chronic inflammation. Excess sugar and processed fructose also distort the ratio of good to bad bacteria in your gut. Sugar does this by serving as a fertilizer/fuel for pathogenic bacteria, yeast and fungi that inhibit the beneficial bacteria in your gut. Chronic Inflammation May Be More Than a Risk Factor for Depression What this all boils down to is that chronic inflammation not only disrupts the normal functioning of many bodily systems, it can also wreak havoc in your brain and affect your psychological health. In fact, at least one previous study15 has suggested chronic low-grade inflammation may be the very root cause of depression. Published in the International Breastfeeding Journal, the researchers stated: “Research in the field of psychoneuroimmunology (PNI) has revealed that depression is associated with inflammation manifested by increased levels of proinflammatory cytokines. The old paradigm described inflammation as simply one of many risk factors for depression. The new paradigm is based on more recent research that has indicated that physical and psychological stressors increase inflammation. These recent studies constitute an important shift in the depression paradigm: inflammation is not simply a risk factor; it is the risk factor that underlies all the others. Moreover, inflammation explains why psychosocial, behavioral and physical risk factors increase the risk of depression. This is true for depression in general and for postpartum depression in particular … [L]evels of proinflammatory cytokines significantly increase during the last trimester of pregnancy … Moreover, common experiences of new motherhood, such as sleep disturbance, postpartum pain and past or current psychological trauma, act as stressors that cause proinflammatory cytokine levels to rise.” Inflammation and Depression 101 In this model, depression is the result of your body’s attempts to protect itself from an inflammatory response, and involves hormones and neurotransmitters. Depressive symptoms most strongly associated with chronic inflammation include:16 Flat mood Slowed thinking Avoidance Alterations in perception Metabolic changes Cytokines in your blood, or inflammatory messengers such as CRP, interleukin-1, interleukin-6 and TNF-alpha are all predictive of17 and correlate18 to depression. In melancholic depression, bipolar disorder and postpartum depression, white blood cells called monocytes express pro-inflammatory genes that provoke secretion of cytokines.19 At the same time, cortisol sensitivity goes down, and cortisol is a stress hormone that buffers against inflammation. Together, these inflammatory agents transfer information to your nervous system, typically by stimulating your vagus nerve, which connects your gut and brain.20 During inflammatory states, brain cells called microglia are activated. When this happens, an enzyme called indoleamine 2 3-dioxygenase directs tryptophan away from the production of serotonin and melatonin, instructing it instead to produce an NMDA (an amino acid derivative) agonist called quinolinic acid, which can trigger anxiety and agitation.21 Curcumin Goes Head-to-Head With Blockbuster Antidepressant One last study22 on curcumin and depression worth mention is a randomized controlled trial comparing the efficacy of curcumin and fluoxetine (generic Prozac) in patients diagnosed with major depressive disorder. Sixty patients were given one of three treatment protocols: 20 mg fluoxetine 1,000 mg curcumin (500 mg standardized curcumin extract taken twice a day) Combination of fluoxetine and curcumin According to the authors: “The proportion of responders as measured by the HAM-D scale was higher in the combination group (77.8 percent) than in the fluoxetine (64.7 percent) and the curcumin (62.5 percent) groups; however, these data were not statistically significant. Interestingly, the mean change in HAM-D score at the end of six weeks was comparable in all three groups. This study provides first clinical evidence that curcumin may be used as an effective and safe modality for treatment in patients with [major depressive disorder] without concurrent suicidal ideation or other psychotic disorders.” Certain Supplements Boost Effectiveness of Antidepressants Other research has shown nutritional supplements can boost the effectiveness of antidepressants. Unfortunately, they did not look at supplementation only, which might have offered valuable insights. The analysis in question looked at 40 clinical trials in which supplements were added to the drug regimen.23,24,25 Four supplements were found to improve the impact of the medication — which included serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) and tricyclic antidepressants — compared to medication only: Animal-based omega-3 (in the form of fish oil) Vitamin D Methylfolate (an effective form of folic acid) S-adenosylmethionine (SAMe) In my view, there’s reason to suspect the supplements provided the true benefit. Other studies have shown both omega-3 and vitamin D can improve mental health all on their own — in part by regulating inflammatory processes and responses — and studies have repeatedly demonstrated that antidepressants are right on par with placebo in terms of effectiveness. In one vitamin D study,26 seniors with the lowest vitamin D levels were 11 times more prone to be depressed than those who had normal levels. It makes little sense to take the extra risks with a drug if they don’t add anything of real value. Addressing GI Inflammation May Ease Your Depressive Symptoms If you suffer from depression, it may be well worth your effort to take steps to reduce the level of inflammation in your body. Remember, no drugs are necessary for this. In fact, the most effective strategies for this are to: • Address your diet. Limiting net carbs in all its forms (think added sugar, processed fructose, refined grains and most processed foods in general) is a key step. A ketogenic diet, high in healthy fats, low in net carbs with a moderate amount of protein can really drive inflammation levels way down • Make sure to get enough animal-based omega-3 • Optimize your vitamin D level, ideally through sensible sun exposure, as sunlight has been shown to improve depression in ways that are unrelated to vitamin D as well • Address your gut health, as impaired gut flora is frequently involved in depression. Regularly “reseed” your gut with beneficial bacteria (probiotics and prebiotics), as this is the foundation of a healthy GI tract. Eating plenty of fermented foods is your best bet. It’s also the most economical. If you do not eat fermented foods, taking a high-quality probiotic supplement makes of sense considering how important probiotics are for your mental health. In fact, probiotics are thought to have a direct effect on brain chemistry, transmitting mood- and behavior-regulating signals to your brain via the vagus nerve