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firstdegreefangirl · 4 years ago

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Love Starts With a Toothbrush

Word Count: 3772

Original Pub Date: 5 June 2020

Relationships: Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz

Author’s Notes: I really should be banned from listening to country radio in the car, but this is completely and utterly inspired by Brad Paisley’s song “Toothbrush.” If you haven’t listened to that yet, check it out here

Read on ao3 here

Tagging: @theycallmebobbob @rebeccaofsbfarm @thisissirius @hearteyesforbuck @dramamineontopofme @twinien @meloingly

Buck looks at himself in the mirror, pondering his own reflection and the way the white foam covers his chin before breaking his own eye contact and tipping his chin back. He focuses his gaze on his jawline as he pulls the razor over his skin, watching the blades slice through the light stubble and push the shaving cream out of the way.

His touch is light, his strokes are careful, and he can’t think of a time he’s shaved more carefully since he was 17 and half-convinced that he’d slit his own throat with a Bic safety razor identical to the one he’s holding now.

The stakes tonight are equally high, just as life-or-death, but in an entirely different way. He thinks about it as he rinses the razor, flicks his thumb downward across the blades to clear any stuck hairs from between them. He’s going out for dinner with Eddie, just like they’ve done probably hundreds of times in the time they’ve been friends. This time is different though, in the way Eddie couldn’t look him in the eye when he asked, the way he’d tentatively added “... it could be a date, if you’re OK with that,” when he’d mentioned an Indian restaurant he’d been meaning to try.

Buck wonders if Eddie is feeling the same amount of pressure he is tonight, if he’d tried on half a dozen shirts before settling on his favorite go-to, then realized that he needed to take the shirt off and shaved before he gets dressed.

Part of him hopes that Eddie isn’t so uncertain about the night they’re going to share, hopes that he’ll have enough bravado for them both. But he also wants this to mean as much to Eddie as it means to him.

Because it means everything, he realizes as he drags a wet washcloth across his skin, lets the warm water clean the last dregs of shaving cream from his face and rinses it out. He leans up over the sink, examining his skin closely to make sure he didn’t miss any stray hairs. As blond as he is, it’s not like they’ll show up, but he still wants to make sure everything is perfect tonight.

Satisfied with the shave, he shakes the razor dry and sets it back in the medicine cabinet, reaching for the tube of toothpaste on the shelf above.

He squirts a blob of the mint-flavored gel onto his toothbrush and sticks it into his mouth. Dental health isn’t usually such a focus for Buck; most of the time he squishes the foam around his mouth and spits as soon as every tooth is mostly brushed.

Tonight, though, he scrubs every tooth carefully: front, back and top. He angles the brush down to get his gum line, and even gags himself when he brushes his tongue. It might be the first and only time he’s actually brushed for two minutes, and he briefly wonders how weird it would be for him to call his dentist in the morning and brag.

Very weird, he decides as he plucks a soft blue paper cup from the dispenser on the counter and fills it with water to rinse his mouth out. As the foam swirls down the drain, he rubs his favorite aftershave across his hands and his hands over his face, wincing at the sting against the freshly shaven skin.

It’s the scent he saves for special occasions; he can’t remember the last time he wore it, the last time something felt important enough to warrant the high-quality leather notes that pair perfectly with the fresh citrus scent of his best cologne.

He grabs his shirt from where he’s hung it on the shower door handle and shrugs it on. The buttons are straightforward, but take just enough time that he decides he needs to run a comb lightly through the edges of his hair again.

When that’s done, he looks down at his phone. 7:28, the screen reads, and Eddie is supposed to pick him up at 7:30. He makes it halfway down the steps, though, before he’s turning around and ducking back into the bathroom long enough to swish some mouthwash around and rinse it down the sink.

It’ll probably wear off before they’re even through eating, but hey, who can blame a guy for trying?

Buck doesn’t think about it again until Eddie is walking him up to the front door at the end of the night. But the hope that the mouthwash is lingering on his breath is his last coherent thought as Eddie backs him up against his doorbell and leans in for what has to be the longest single kiss Buck has ever had.

They’re both breathing hard when Eddie breaks away, lingering just long enough to murmur a ‘goodnight’ against his lips before he walks away, leaving Buck standing there in a daze, hoping he’s not imagining the minty taste Eddie left behind in his mouth.

Two years later, to the day, they’re dropping Chris off at Pepa’s, promising to pick him up on Sunday night and waving from Eddie’s truck as they back down the driveway. Buck looks at Eddie as they turn the corner, sees the way he’s worrying his bottom lip.

“Hey, you’re sure about this? We can go pick him up, bring him with us. Or ditch the plan altogether, do the big ceremony in a few months.”

“No, I’m sure. I want to marry you tonight. And I like the idea of that being just for us.” Eddie sighs, and Buck wishes he believed him. “I just … feel bad for lying about the double shifts all weekend, telling Bobby we needed the days off for a ‘family thing.’”

“This is a family thing. It’s us, becoming a family. Legally.” Buck rests his hand on Eddie’s hand, wrapped around the gearshift.

“We’re already family, Buck.”

“I know, but this makes it official. And we’ll talk to Bobby and Athena when we get back, see if we can borrow their backyard for a big reception. Everything else can be for everyone else, but this? This here, our wedding? It’s for us.”

Eddie nods and releases his lip.

“Yeah. You … you’re right. Pre-wedding jitters, am I right?”

They laugh together, relaxing as Eddie drives them a couple hours up the coast. He’s not sure where they’re going, taking directions from Buck, who’s reading off of a list of turns he’s scribbled on the back of a junk mail credit card application.

He’d taken every other aspect of this to the n-th degree, as soon as Eddie suggested that they stop trying to plan the perfect wedding for their friends and family and just have the perfect wedding for them. Just the two of them, wearing the best suits they already owned and brand new matching ties, standing somewhere beautiful and private to pledge their lives to each other.

Buck had looked for close to a week before finding the perfect spot: a tiny beachfront town with a little wedding chapel. He’d found the referral on a same-sex wedding forum, with a litany of stories and photos from couples praising the picturesque waters and friendly staff, willing to personalize intimate ceremonies for a reasonable cost.

All he had asked Eddie to do was make sure their bags were packed and pick him a ring. Everything else was a surprise, from Eddie’s brushed steel wedding band with its fine gold stripe pressed into the pocket of Buck’s jeans to the three tiny crystals on the tie clips: each of their birthstones and Christopher’s in the middle.

The ceremony is everything they could have imagined; every last detail Buck planned went off without a hitch. And he couldn’t help but privately noticing that the officiant who pronounced them husband and husband resembled the surviving half of the elderly gay couple he’d met on the car accident scene only a couple of months after Eddie came into his life.

Mitchell, he’s pretty sure.

It’s coincidence, he’s sure, but it feels fitting nonetheless. Even if it was still over a year before their first date, talking to that man, hearing him tell Buck that a truly lasting love is made, not found, was a pivotal moment in his relationship with Eddie. It was the first time he let himself consider making something more than a friendship with him, so it feels fitting that Mitchell would visit him again today, give him a sign that he’s in the right place, marrying the right person for him.

Not that he needed a sign, not after he saw the way Eddie’s eyes watered when he ran his finger across Buck’s tie, understanding the gems the moment he saw them.

He knew he was making the right choice.

Even if he did have to go all the way down to the lobby of their hotel that night, get a couple of flimsy plastic toothbrushes from the desk agent.

“Really, Eddie? The only thing you had to do was pack our bags. You got the suits, you got my shampoo, but you left our toothbrushes on the counter?” He rolled his eyes as Eddie shook the toiletries bag open on the bedspread, no toothbrushes to be found.

Of course, Eddie was fresh out of the shower, so it fell on Buck to go downstairs, sheepishly explain that he hadn’t packed for their trip (even if he did preen a little bit when he said ‘my husband was in charge of the luggage,’ the new title feeling perfectly at home on his tongue) and ask if they had any for sale.

The clerk had come back with two barely opaque white-handled brushes that Buck is pretty sure he could have broken in half easier than a pencil. But they’re free, and they’re better than nothing, so he smiles gratefully at her and accepts the brushes and packets of toothpaste.

After their teeth are brushed, when Eddie is tucked in and waiting for Buck to join him in bed for their first night as a married couple, he snaps a quick picture of the cheap toothbrushes.

It’s the sort of story that will make a good memory years from now, he knows already, and he never wants to forget this moment. He never wants to forget the way he feels two days later, either, packing up to leave and slipping the disposable toothbrushes into the bottom of his bag, tucking them away to be remembered and laughed about later.

Their love wasn’t found; they made it between toothbrushes and minty fresh kisses along the way.

The first day off Buck and Eddie have together as husbands is spent boxing Buck’s loft and moving his life into Eddie’s home.

Their home.

They’d talked about it, over breakfast on the beach the day after their wedding, thrown around the idea of buying a new house, a place that they picked together and decorated as a family. But ultimately, they decided that Eddie’s place was almost perfectly located between the station and Christopher’s school, it was already accessible for him, and Buck has long felt at home in Eddie’s living room.

He didn’t need a new house, he just needed Eddie in his bed and Christopher right down the hall, every night for the rest of his life.

So he’s the only one moving, a whopping 17 minutes from where he had lived. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Especially when Eddie suggests redecorating after Buck gets settled, giving the house a new feel for their new lives together. It’s just turning to summer, the days growing warmer and longer enough that they can start with the backyard. Eddie puts out grass seed, plants a couple of twigs that will hopefully grow into lemon and orange trees.

Buck takes it upon himself to watch a dozen YouTube videos and visit the hardware store, borrowing Eddie’s truck to haul cords of lumber home with the promise of a picket fence around the back of the house.

He’s never built a fence before, but Bobby lends him a small table saw, spends an afternoon standing in the yard and teaching him how to use it before leaving him to finish building his fence. As with everything, Buck throws himself completely into the project; every spare moment he’s got is enough time to cut a couple of boards, drill a few holes.

It’s one of the most fun projects he’s ever embarked on, especially when Christopher starts joining him in the backyard, plopping down on the fresh grass with a book and reading out loud to him, or telling him stories from his latest sleepover. Sometimes, when he’s got a brand new board, all 10-feet of it to control against the vibration of the saw blade, he’ll ask Chris for a hand. He’s got a tiny pair of safety goggles, bulky enough to go over his regular glasses, and kid-sized work gloves, and he’s always excited to help hold the long end of the board, tiptoeing forward as Buck pushes his end across the saw blade.

Digging the post holes is its own kind of challenge, especially when driving his foot against the top of the shovel makes the pain in his leg flare up. But for those moments, Eddie is there. He’s always watching Buck out the kitchen window or from the back deck; Buck can feel his gaze following him around the yard, especially when the high heat of the summer gets the best of him and he pulls his T-shirt off.

But when his leg start to hurt, almost like Eddie can feel the pain too, he appears beside Buck, pulls the shovel gently from his hands.

“Here, I got it,” he says, squeezing Buck’s arm gently. “I’ll dig for a bit.” When Buck starts to protest, tries to tell Eddie that he’s fine, he can keep working, Eddie raises an eyebrow. “I know you can, but it’s almost lunchtime, and if you don’t cook, I’ll have to.”

They both know it’s a cop-out. Eddie can handle sandwiches and pouring lemonade from the gallon jug in the fridge. But it means that Buck can take a break, sneak back to the bathroom and swallow a couple Advil when no one is looking, without having to admit that his physical limitations stop him sooner than they did before his myriad of near-death experiences.

It takes a few months, but then their fence is up, pine boards marking the edges of a backyard that Christopher keeps mentioning is probably big enough that they could get a dog now, since he’d have somewhere to run.

“Maybe for your birthday, Superman.” Eddie ruffles his hair, shares a knowing glance with Buck. The three of them admire the handiwork for a few minutes longer, then Buck jumps and pulls Eddie’s truck keys out of his pocket.

“Ooh, hang on, I forgot the last part. Chris, you up for a trip to the hardware store? Think you can keep me on track?”

“Sure! Dad, I gotta go make sure Bucky doesn’t get lost.” With that, they’re gone, chasing each other out the new gate and around the house. Buck hears Eddie’s confused shout, and feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He doesn't have to look at the message to know that Eddie has sent him a long string of question marks, but he and Chris have a mission.

They’re back 45 minutes later, Buck hauling a five-gallon bucket in each hand as he follows Christopher around the back gate. He hears the back door open as he’s taking the plastic sack from Chris and pulling out paint trays and rollers.

“Alright, what’d we talk about, kiddo?”

“Dad! Buck says I can help paint, but only if you wrap me up in a trash bag first so I don’t get messy!”

Eddie laughs but leads Chris into the house. They emerge a few minutes later, Chris covered in a trash bag with sloppy holes cut into the bottom for his head and arms. The three of them spend the afternoon painting, and most of the next day too, but when they’re finished, the picket fence is a crisp white, contrasting starkly with the grass around it.

Except the parts of the lawn that got their own coat of white paint, but Buck can’t bring himself to care. The grass will grow, he or Eddie will cut it short and no one will be the wiser. And they’ll still have their backyard, with the white picket fence that he built, for his family.

He’s pretty sure this sort of thing is the best that his life is ever going to get, that nothing could ever top the feeling of standing here, Eddie’s arm around his waist and Chris leaning against their legs, admiring something they made together.

Buck grunts as he lifts their toddler out of the bathtub and wraps him in a towel.

“Jeez, you’re getting big, Trey.” He rubs the 4-year-old's hair dry and helps him tie the belt on a tiny camouflage-print bathrobe. “Alright, what’s next?”

“Brush teeth!” He shrieks with delight and grins at his papa.

“That’s right, let’s go brush your teeth with Daddy and Chris!” Buck scoops him up, without grunting this time since he can get a better angle to lift from, and carries him down the hallway to the master bathroom. Eddie and Christopher are already standing in front of the mirror, trying to untangle Chris’s curly hair enough that it’s not totally insufferable in the morning.

He’s 11 now, old enough that he can get most of it on his own, but there’s a patch at the back of his head that’s hard to reach, so Eddie helped him with that while Buck and Trey had a rubber duck war in the bathtub.

“Daddy! Time to brush teeth!” Trey grabs for the side of Eddie’s pants leg as Buck situates him on the step stool beside the counter. “You can help me?”

They’ve had Trey for almost two years now, and he’s always been very diplomatic about dividing his attention between Buck and Eddie. If Buck helps make his lunch, Eddie can sit with him while he eats. On the days that Eddie drops him off at preschool, he likes it best when Buck picks him up.

When Buck gives him a bath, Eddie helps brush his teeth.

“I sure can, kiddo. Chris, you’re all good. Get those pearly whites, bud.” He passes a tube of bubblegum-flavored toothpaste to his older son, watches him carefully squeeze a blob of it onto a blue toothbrush with a distinctive red ‘S’ logo on the handle. Christopher hands the tube back and jams the brush into his mouth while Eddie reaches for the smallest toothbrush in the cup.

Buck isn’t sure when it started, but somewhere along the way, all four of them started sharing a bedtime routine. Sure, that’s parenting, but this is a little bit more. The boys have their own bathroom, full of plastic boats and low-hanging towel bars, but still all four of them gather in Buck and Eddie’s bathroom at night to brush their teeth together.

He’s scrubbing across his own teeth as he thinks about it, white minty foam gathering at the corners of his mouth. When he catches Christopher looking at him, he turns his head and growls playfully, baring his teeth.

“No, Bucky! Don’t get me!” Chris’ toothbrush is still in his mouth, so the words are distorted and he sprays pinkish flecks all over the mirror when he cries out.

Buck laughs, splattering his own toothpaste foam to create some sort of abstract bathroom art that he knows Eddie will wipe away while he sees the boys down to their shared bedroom.

Trey leans back against Eddie’s hip, tipping his chin and opening his mouth.

“-Eddie, -addy!” He tries to say, without moving his jaw. ‘Ready, daddy!’ they both know it means, and Buck leans forward to spit as Eddie starts brushing carefully through their son’s mouth. He counts the teeth out loud, just like every night, even though the number hasn’t changed since six months after they welcomed him into their home.

Buck leans back upright, looking at his family in the mirror as he reaches around Chris to take a paper cup from the dispenser he brought with him when he moved in. He fills it with water, freezing when he sees the design on the side.

The water flows over the top of the cup, down his hand, and it’s enough to shake him from his stupor. It shouldn’t have surprised him; he’s the one who’d purchased the box of planet-themed bath cups, remembering how excited Christopher had been to be able to recite all nine planets in order. He's staring down at a smiling planet, Mars, according to the reddish label beside it.

Even if it were a surprise, there’s no reason that a Mars cup should stop him in his tracks like this. But he’s suddenly thinking of a different day, a different paper cup in a different bathroom. That cup was blue, plain blue, and he’d stood alone in the bathroom.

He remembers every detail, the sting of the aftershave and the way the mouthwash tingled against his gums. And he remembers everything that came after, too, right up to Eddie kissing him against his front door. He’d gone inside that night and imagined a future with Eddie and Christopher. But never, not even in his most elaborate fantasies had he dreamed of having all of this.

This is the most in love Buck has ever been, standing here in the bathroom with his family, watching Eddie hold a light-up toothbrush in one hand and a Jupiter cup in the other. He’s helping Trey spit into the sink – not onto the counter – and Buck feels his heart swell at the simple routine of it all. He puts his own toothbrush back into the cup and thanks his lucky stars for every moment like this, every night he gets to be a part of this. Every time life has caught him by surprise, every day that was better than the one before it, even when he hadn’t thought that would be possible.

There are four toothbrushes on his counter, three people at the center of his world, and he thinks it again, this is the best moment I’ve had in my life.

Because love, he’s come to learn, isn’t found in any of the obvious places to look.

Love starts with a toothbrush.

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driftingglass · 3 years ago

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It’s Done. (What’s Next?)

Like I promised, all selected works I announced on this post have been deleted.

There are 7 remaining works, with 6 completed, and one unfinished work recently published in October, 2021. I’m considering that part of this “new chapter” phase of my fanfic authorship. Though calling it an “authorship” seems kind of pretentious at this point...

Anyway. Thank you for understanding and being so supportive. The response has been full of kindness, patience, and gratitude that feels undeserved. Fanfic writers everywhere are lucky to have readers like you.

If you’re interested in the future of this blog, my AO3 account, and more to potentially come your way, read on...

I’ll be changing my AO3 author name and Tumblr username.

This one has been sort of a long-time coming. I’ve thought of a few names, but nothing has stuck as of yet. When that comes, I’ll announce what my new username will be on Tumblr, so that anyone who follows me knows that the name will change 24 hours after that.

The first new fanfic I will publish under this new name and phase will be a BakuDeku story.

The first chapter will be posted in September. I’ll be doing a week of announcements and plenty of teasers all throughout August regarding the summary, plot, etc. The outline is near-complete, and the story itself will end up around 20 chapters.

There will be an established publishing schedule to stay consistent.

I haven’t decided yet if it will be a one week or two week turnaround. It all depends on my work schedule, my personal life, and my original writing projects. I’ll have a better idea when the time comes.

Yes, there will be one fic I work on at a time. This will prevent the issue of impulsively publishing fics that I love that get a lot of attention, but end up never finishing.

I will only be working on one fic at a time.

This is part of me learning how to handle my mental illness more responsibly so I can better respect your expectations as a reader. I hope you can understand.

So when that new fic is published in September, I will focus solely on that until it’s completed.

I may start a Patreon account.

BUT ONLY IF... readers (both old and new) are interested in this.

This is by absolutely no means a requirement. This is only if people are interested in a concept like a private Discord server (to ask questions about fics, chat, share ideas, etc.), a view into chapters a week before they publish (depending on the schedule), or anything else that may come as exclusive.

I’m not even sure if I’ll do this, yet. Was just an idea that might be fun if readers want to feel a part of a community. We will see.

Let me know if this is of interest. If not, I’ll sweep it under the rug and never bring it up again.

I’ll be way more active on Tumblr to answer questions, talk to new readers, engage with communities I’ve left for a long time, etc.

I’m still very much a fandom loner, but I want to be more open in engaging in conversations if that’s something of interest.

Want to say another thank you.

To the readers, writers, and celebrators of storytelling who have not only supported me, but anyone else who has chosen to go through these tough decisions and are deciding to reinvent themselves for a new chapter.

I want to write better for you, and deliver stories that you deserve.

Thanks for everything.

- Drifty

#DriftingGlass #Announcement #Fanfiction #Fanfic Author #Fanfic #AO3 #Authorship #Writing #Reading #My Inbox is Open

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septiembrre · 4 years ago

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tagged by the lovely @mego42

A Bit of a Stretch -- the backstory

1. @pynkhues gave me “accidentally knocking your head into someone’s chin + playfully biting someone” from an OTP/physicality prompt list.

2. I sat with the idea for a couple days. While, I sat on it, I tackled 2 other prompts that absolutely helped me warm up. My first thought had been some sort of domestic scene by a cabinet? And, it just sounded so boring. I didn’t want to write that.

3. I think the yoga scene had to have percolated from it being Sophie who sent me the prompt. She had already written a yoga scene a while back: Child’s Pose. And honestly, that one had done it for me for the trope? I had never thought I would want to write a yoga scene. I actually remember thinking the first time I read it, “thank god flashindie wrote this b/c this is the content we deserve to see.”

4. But, hello! Now we’re in this pandemic and I was feeling nostalgic about my heated yoga studio so, all of a sudden... it spilled forth. I wrote it in a matter of hours and posted it later that day. While I had imposed a 24 hr writing turnaround with this prompt series, now I do wish I could go back and tidy it up a bit. I want to add more details to the yoga studio.

5. From the beginning, I was sure that Rio was going to be the one to get hurt. Muahahahaha. He’s never the one who gets the concussions in our fics and I liked writing him being caught unawares.

6. Manny has a cute little chin dimple like Christina and I wanted that to spend sometime focusing on that, y’know the important things.

7. I think I got like one paragraph into the fic describing yoga from Beth’s POV and then I got bored. I had just written a few of her POVS back to back with the other prompts that week and it quickly dawned on me whose voice should be telling Stretch. This is the first and only time I’ve ever done Rio POV but it was really easy. I need to figure out what other stories I want him to tell!

Additional author’s notes:

1. I think Rio could be like a lit nerd y’know in his own way. When I was in high school, a couple of the boys I was friends with really liked when we went read Edith Hamilton’s Mythology so I gifted him that.

2. I also just found out that Aphrodite was in fact the goddess of war before she was misconstrued into a love goddess. Now I want to write a coda where Rio settles on Aphrodite as Beth’s alter-goddess.

3. I just really like to think about Rio fantasizing about Beth in her every day life -- not boss Beth, not Beth especially trying to be a hottie -- but domestic Beth. Ever since Manny gave that interview where he described Rio as being fascinated by her world... That just lives rent free in my brain and I like to try to find ways to tug at it and shape it so that it doesn’t just reinforce gender norms, but makes it a little... funny. I think Rio would take a lot of pleasure in living with Beth, and I like him being self-aware about it.

4. And then if we’re talking about Beth’s world, we do have to talk about her whiteness and general passing privileges. Yoga felt like a fun way to do it.

5. But, our collective boy crush, is bougie as fuck so you know he’d be into some heated studio nonsense. Like, you know in the sequel he’s going to be a regular at the gong baths. Like, he thinks he’s cool, but lol have y’all heard of Onnit? I can totally see him being into the kettlebells and the mace. So extra.

6. “Detroit, so far from Mexico and so close to being the fucking North Pole.” This line is inspired by the famous saying, “Mexico, so far from God and so close to the United States.” I took pleasure in the power reversal. <3

tagging:

@joeyjoeylee - Both Sides of The Law

@sothischickshe - do you like drugssss

@mego42 - swaying evergreens (is it rude to re-tag you?)

rules/q’s/meme backstory:

recently I have become really fascinated with fanfic authors and what exactly was rumbling around in their brain that inspired a fic?

Was it a line of dialogue you couldn’t get out of your head?

A scene you wrote WAY in advance and then crafted the whole story around?

An image in your mind?

Inspiration from another form of media?

Maybe someone suggested something to you and it just TOOK off from there?

What is the cornerstone of this fic -what is it all built around? The idea that started it all?

Tag an author & their fic. Let’s hear about what sparked your story. What exactly got your booty movin’ shakin’ motivated and writin’ ?

#my writing

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denimsnake · 5 years ago

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another convo between @makeupmonsters and myself has resulted in a Fic Idea(tm) but this one’s different in that we had the idea yesterday and it’s already posted. i think that may have been about a 24-hour turnaround time, which is unprecedented. it’s real silly, but hopefully it makes some people laugh??

if i had to summarize it in a sentence: power-bffs hux and phasma troll kyle in an astounding display of gay/lesbian solidarity.

#mine #writing tag #star wars #it's uh.......something #i don't remember what started it but i know it had something to do with kardashian butts #that didn't make it through to the final product though #alternate title: hux experiences a microaggression

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histrionic-dragon · 6 years ago

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Endgame-inspired fic ideas/prompts/request

Endgame related! If I didn’t tag with whatever you’re using to filter, don’t click “read more.”

Whether you liked Endgame or didn’t, one thing it gave us was a ton of canon-compliant hooks for AU stories. Let’s make them happen--and I’d love to see links to some of the ones that are already happening, geez, you people are fast. So here’s a list of prompts, if anyone wants them (just link me the finished version if you do, because I’d love to see any of these!), and the <24-hour-turnaround fic I’ve found already.

The one I’ve seen already is “Another Life” by Palebluedot.

Top of my head ideas (Steve-centric because I am Steve-centric and I’m too tired to write a long post):

- 2012 Steve finding out Bucky is alive, realizing that that wasn’t Loki he was fighting, and doing something about it

- Internal confusion at Hydra because CAPTAIN AMERICA SAID WHAT!?

- Extremely cracky spinoff (thought I do not doubt the capacity of fandom for someone to write it seriously and break my heart) in which Endgame Steve for some reason stays in 2012 and teams up with 2012 Steve to rescue Bucky. With or without smut and an ongoing debate over whether it’s really a threesome if two of you are technically the same person.

- How exactly Steve Very Famous Iconic Captain America Rogers managed to not be ID’d by anyone at the spy agency his wife runs for decades. Feel like this would lend itself nicely to a 5 times + 1 format.

- During or before TWS, Peggy says something to TWS-native-timeline Steve about her-husband-Steve. Steve finds Steve. (Pointing Spider-Man meme joke here.) Now that the timeline is contaminated anyway, Older Steve says fuck it, we’ll take down Hydra and rescue Bucky early.

- In which Steve doesn’t wait to get choked out by 2012 Steve and distract him by saying “Bucky’s alive,” he instead rattles off personal information that only he would know before the fight gets to that point. “I can’t tell you too much about why I’m here, but I’m you.” “Sure.” “You went through five punching bags the night Fury turned up to recruit you. Mom called you ‘Steven’ whenever she had something serious to talk about. Newsprint doesn’t smear much anymore and that bothers you more than it should. Tony gets on your nerves because he treats you like a kid--he doesn’t actually think that, by the way, he just talks like that to everyone. You’ve been in love with Bucky since you were seventeen.” And then they join forces to retrieve the Tesseract, or go on other adventures. Steve imparts useful knowledge: “Order the falafel sandwich with white sauce but LIGHT hot sauce.” etc.

#Avengers Endgame #Endgame #Avengers 4 #spoilers #Endgame spoilers #Avengers spoilers #ae #a4 #ae spoilers #a4 spoilers #fanfic jumping-off points #feel free to use as prompts #just link me the finished stories! :D

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malafight · 6 years ago

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things aren’t so great right now, y’all

i owe various institutions nearly $500 and have $2 in quarters to my name at the moment. i don’t get paid for another week and a half, but i’m getting fuck all for hours and by that point i’ll owe even more money, so there’s no climbing out of this hole any time soon

i’m missing two of my most important meds, and won’t even be able to get the prescriptions for another three weeks or more, lord knows if i’ll be able to afford them.

mal needs the rest of his shots and to get neutered, very soon -- something which i had the income to take care of when i adopted him, but my hours got cut horrendously and as such now i do not

i have a pile of rotting trash bags on my porch that i cannot afford to take to the dump

i’m not even sure if i’ll be getting my tax return, because i owe so much to the state for student loans. and even if i do get it, i don’t know when that’ll be, and it won’t be enough to cover even half of what i need right now

my dental health is so bad that i’m afraid of going to the dentist to even find out how much i have wrong with me and how much it’ll cost. i’m in constant pain from cavities and broken teeth, and brushing/flossing/mouthwash is sensory hell on top of painful on top of not having the spoons to do it in the first place

i’m stressed and want to cry 24/7. i’m barely medicated and barely functional. i keep swinging between too much sleep and not enough. most of my food is ramen or from the freezer or a can.

i’m trying to get the last commission im working on finished so i can repost my commission info without feeling guilty, but even writing is too much for me to handle most of the time without my proper meds

i’m really not in a good place right now.

my birthday is on saturday and i have no friends in the city to spend it with. i don’t even have the money to treat myself to a nice meal.

if any of yall feel up to helping, my commissions are always open, but turnaround will be slow until i can get my meds again. or you could sponsor a fic/chapter and get a shout-out and a message posted with it. or, if you’re feeling generous, i’ve got a paypal.me page;;; if you leave your tumblr url with any donation i’ll drop by your blog and draw you a doodle as a thank you???

im sorry im just. things aren’t going great and words are hard. i haven’t even been able to talk to folks all that often now because i’m a mess of anxiety and stress. i kinda just wanna become one with the void, yknow?? i don’t know how i’m gonna pull out of this, so right now, all i can hope for is that i hold on long enough to get my meds back and hope that proper brain chemical levels come with a better understanding of how to start fixing my situation

thank you for taking the time to read this. i love you and hope you are doing well. i know how hard it is to scroll through tumblr and see people in bad situations like this, so i’ve been holding off on posting it at all, but i’m just at the point now where i don’t think i have any other options. i’m so sorry.

#pan shut the fuck up #signal boost #commissions

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enberlight · 3 years ago

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I posted 10,075 times in 2021

99 posts created (1%)

9976 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 100.8 posts.

I added 944 tags in 2021

#into the void - 148 posts

#ml comic - 141 posts

#best kitty - 122 posts

#linguistics - 106 posts

#miraculous ladybug - 83 posts

#ml fic rec - 80 posts

#best birb - 75 posts

#fashion ref - 65 posts

#ml au - 64 posts

#music - 60 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and can pick up random words in related european languages bc english really did steal from everything and spanish fills in half the blanks

My Top Posts in 2021

If anyone's got good wishes they can send this way, it'd be much appreciated. I'm going through some medical stuff that might turn out to be a permanent disability. I'm hoping it is, at least, treatable. It may be related to the auto accident last December so yay for that /s.

Work is still only part time so if anyone wants to throw a kofi my way for an ML kiss or poly meme, I'm open for those. Regular commission inquiries can go to @caffeinatedmagpie. Follow me there, I'll probably do another giveaway soon.

I have some wheelchair turnaround refs planned for later this month, like the Nino hat. Stay tuned!

31 notes • Posted 2021-09-09 22:18:09 GMT

Dopamine is stored in the Dash.

*scroll scroll scroll*

31 notes • Posted 2021-12-17 20:15:18 GMT

Zine zine zine zine

Zine! *vibrates*

@thedjwifizine is imminent

47 notes • Posted 2021-06-04 05:46:55 GMT

prpr confuses me.

Is it pre-reveal pre-relationship

Post-reveal pre-relationship

Or post-reveal post-relationship.

And why is a currently active relationship getting called post, anyway - that would imply being after a breakup.

Anyway I'm just gonna read prpr as purr purr and call it done.

100 notes • Posted 2021-12-22 23:30:13 GMT

Emergency Commissions Open

If anyone is interested in 3D render commissions (human, demon, monster, furry, pet/companion critter), let me know!

I've been on basically $0 income since mid December while I recover from a bad car accident, and have to pay for office upgrades now, due to some changes at my employer. They aren't footing any of the bill for moving my cubicle to my house this week and I need computer equipment and a new desk because one tiny one can't hold two setups (art and work) @.@ They gave us 24 hours notice, I can't pull $300 out of nowhere that fast.

Here's a few examples of work I've done and models I can customize as your own OC. More examples and WIPs over on @caffeinatedmagpie

Drop me a line on @caffeinatedmagpie to discuss piece and prices. My price list isn't up yet (due to delays from the December car accident) but I can explain them.

See the full post

186 notes • Posted 2021-01-31 00:57:51 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #the top 5 changed #Purr purr made it

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xummie · 4 years ago

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Vernon’s Peril

Vernon x Seungkwan

Hanahaki Fic

WC: 3160

Can Vernon be saved from his Hanahaki disease?

-----

“Those are your only options.” The doctor said, his arms crossed sternly but his voice soft with understanding. The CEO stood there, unsure what to say, unsure what to do. As the doctor turned to leave the room he said, “I’m sorry Hansol. I’ll give you two time to think.”

Hansol Vernon Chwe sat stunned. Something he thought was only myth now was trying to kill him. How could he let this happen? He spent practically 24/7 with all twelve of the other boys, and yet one of them had become singled out so drastically in his heart? And because of that a mystical lily plant had started to grow, slowly taking over his lungs and suffocating him?

He first experienced the symptoms of his Hanahaki Disease about a month ago, coughing tiny petals every once in awhile. The real worry started three days ago, Wednesday, when he and his impossible love were watching a movie in the dorm. They laughed together at a scene and as he laughed he got a burning pain in his lower esophagus, rushed to the bathroom and vomited into the toilet. At first he thought he was just sick, but when he went to flush he noticed something that made him gasp. Small but long white lily petals were in the toilet, mixed with blood and bile. Confused, he flushed and went back to the living room, where his companion questioned his health. Explaining that he didn’t feel good he said goodnight and went to bed.

He struggled to sleep through the night, his chest burning and his mind racing. Should he tell someone? Was he imagining the petals? The next day started off the same as the last ended, he saw his friend first thing and had to make a quick trip to the toilet. This time there were more petals, and Vernon was legitimately frightened. They had a show in less than a week, what was he going to do? He spent the rest of that day avoiding most of his fellow members, which was easier than he expected as he worked with the Hip Hop unit most of the day to prepare for the concert. He also went to bed early, thanks to the aching in his chest, so he didn’t have to run into his hyung again.

He spent the next few days avoiding those that he could, but he still had practice, and the more he practiced with the entire group the worse he felt. Friday he had a coughing fit during group practice, catching blood and lily petals in his hand as he rushed out of the room to try and regain his breath. Seungcheol made him go rest after that, but again Saturday he needed to practice with the hip hop unit. He made it halfway through his “Back it Up” rap before he was completely out of breath.

“S.Coups-hyung,” He said from the floor where he sat coughing, trying desperately to catch his breath. S.Coups sat next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Steady your breathing. Why are you coughing so hard?” Vernon couldn’t answer but simply removed his hand from his mouth, showing the 4 lily petals it held. S.Coups was caught completely off-guard. “Vernon why are you holding flower petals?”

He waited for Vernon’s coughing to subside, worried but not wanting to press the younger. Once he could finally speak Vernon muttered, “I don’t know how but I am coughing flowers. And vomiting.”

“What? How would that even be possible?” Vernon simply shrugged in response, his face lacking color and his breathing labored. S.Coups thought for a moment, “We need to get you to a doctor. This is not good. I’m getting a staff member to take you.”

Suddenly, BSS entered the room, being as loud as you’d expect Hoshi, Seungkwan and DK to be. “Vernon! Just the person I was looking for.” Seungkwan said as he practically bounced towards Vernon. The closer he got the stronger the urge to vomit grew. “Why have you been avoiding me? You haven’t said a word to me in two days!” As he spoke he punched Vernon on the shoulder, and Vernon couldn’t help but spew blood and lily petals across the practice room floor.

Everyone yelped and chaos ensued. Vernon was choking and couldn’t catch a breath. He passed out as S.Coups and the staff called paramedics who then rushed him to the hospital.

“Vernon,” a deep voice spoke, bringing him back to the present. “How could you let this happen? You love another member in such a way?”

“I’m sorry.” Vernon muttered ashamedly. “I don’t know how, I don’t know why… it just..”

“Do you know who?”

“Yes sir.”

‘Well?”

“Seungkwan-hyung sir.”

The CEO was not pleased, and he thought about the options the doctor had given his idol. The doctor could surgically remove the disease, leaving Vernon loveless at an unknown level, he would surely lose all ability to love Seungkwan, but would he also have to live a fully loveless life? They would also be risking the possibility that he forget important memories of Seungkwan. Alternatively, if Seungkwan loved Vernon back then the disease would wither and die. Surely this would be a good option if they allowed same-sex relationships, but that was so far from their acceptances that he could risk ruining his company by allowing it.

“Sir,” Vernon said, his voice quiet and weak. “I’ll do the surgery. I know it is not allowed and I don’t want to die.”

The CEO nodded slowly, “I’ll have the doctor schedule the surgery, I’ll be back.” And he left Vernon alone in the room.

The CEO walked to the private waiting room where all 12 of Vernon’s fellow members were waiting anxiously. As they saw him they stood, and S.Coups asked the question that was on all of their minds. “What is wrong? What happened?”

“Vernon is very ill and has to go in for emergency surgery.” The collective gasp resounded, but was also a voice short. Seungkwan simply sunk back into his chair, unable to make a noise. “All of you go back to the dorms and rest, I’ll keep you updated on his condition.”

As S.Coups lead everyone out of the room he turned back to pull Seungkwan to his feet, but the CEO stopped him and whispered in his ear, “He will stay.” S.Coups simply nodded, leading the others out of the room. He had read enough stories, and though they were stories, S.Coups thought he could guess what had happened. He had seen Vernon’s love for Seungkwan growing for years, maybe it was finally too true to bear. After they had all cleared, the CEO sat by Seungkwan and spoke softly to him. “Seungkwan, do you know what’s wrong with Vernon.”

“No sir, I am scared for him. Why did you keep me?” Seungkwan had clearly been crying, his face puffy and red.

“Seungkwan, have you ever heard of the Hanahaki Disease?”

“What? I mean, yes, I read it in a book.” Seungkwan was now thoroughly confused, why would the CEO bring up a fake disease?

“Well, it is not as fictional as we believe, it is what now threatens Vernon’s life.” Seungkwan’s eyes widened, his mouth slightly agape. That would mean that Vernon was in love with someone that didn’t love him back, but who could that be? “Do you know who Vernon’s unrequited love is, Seungkwan?”

“No sir… I don’t know of him having any connections…”

“It’s not an outside connection.”

“Inside?! As in, one of us?” Seungkwan put the puzzle pieces together before the CEO could reply. “No. Not one of us. You mean me…”

“Yes Seungkwan. Did you not know?”

“No sir, we’re just friends, we can’t be anything more.” Seungkwan’s heart was trying to beat out of his chest. Vernon loved him? Not as a brother, or a friend, but as a lover. Why had he not said? Of course he knew the answer to that, he wouldn’t have said because it wasn’t allowed. “So, the surgery, it will remove his love, right? That’s how that works?”

“Yes. It’s dangerous, it may remove memories of you too.” The CEO’s voice was soft, caring, but also almost pleading, which confused Seungkwan. The thought of Vernon forgetting him made a new tear drop from Seungkwan’s eye. He couldn’t speak, and they sat in silence for a minute before the CEO spoke again. “There is another option…”

Seungkwan sucked in his breath… what was CEO leading too? “What do you mean sir?”

“Well, if his love was no longer unrequited then the disease would die.”

“I know sir, but… would… how?”

“Seungkwan, do you love Vernon? Have you been hiding it too?” Seungkwan didn’t know if he could take anymore shock. Was the CEO really asking him? Could he actually be suggesting that they could become more than friends? Noticing Seungkwan was too stunned to answer the CEO spoke again, “I value all thirteen of you, and your relationships to each other. I believe it could ruin Seventeen to have your relationship so ruined, for Vernon’s experiences with you to be erased… I don’t want to risk that. So, if you were to love him too, I would allow it, we’d just have to keep it quiet, for now at least.”

Seungkwan was crying now, not out of fear but out of relief because he could save his best friend… actually, his could be boyfriend? “I do sir. I’ve loved him for a long time.”

“Then go tell him.” Seugnkwan’s head was spinning. The CEO had just given him permission to confess his love to Vernon, an act that he not only had been wishing for for years, but that would save his best friend’s life.

Seungkwan stood and started for the door but froze, suddenly concerned again. “CEOnim, won’t it hurt Vernon to be near me?”

“Ah, you’re probably right. Let’s ask the doctor what to do.” He stood and led Seungkwan out of the room and to the desk where they found the doctor. “Doctor, may we speak to you in private?” The doctor nodded and led them to another room.

“What can I do for you sir? The surgery is scheduled for an hour from now, they are prepping Hansol.” The doctor said, addressing the CEO but glancing curiously at Seungkwan.

“I’m hoping we won’t need the surgery now.” The CEO said, his voice powerful and commanding as ever, but still tinted with worry.

“Oh?” The doctor was slightly shocked, thinking that this was a quick turnaround for an Idol who was previously not allowed to date. “Who might the lover be?”

“That would be me sir.” Seungkwan said, his voice shaking in anticipation. His face was still puffy from crying, and his heart was racing with adrenaline. This declaration made the doctor gasp slightly, for he had not been expecting anything like this.

“You mean…” The doctor started but the CEO raised his hand to stop him.

“We don’t have time. We will need to keep this as quiet as possible please.” The CEO’s voice was stern and the doctor nodded, understanding the situation. “Now, Seungkwan needs to tell Vernon, correct? But it causes Vernon pain to be near Seungkwan, so how do we go about this?”

The doctor’s face dropped into a regretful frown. “You’re right, it is painful, and dangerous, but necessary. Seungkwan must tell him, and Vernon must accept and believe it. With as advanced as his disease is simply seeing Seungkwan may send him into a dangerous vomiting fit.” Turning to fully address Seungkwan he continued, his voice soft and serious. “You must make sure he hears you, that he understands. If he accepts it, the vomiting should end with the entire disease being expelled.

Seungkwan gulped and sweat started to bead on his forehead. This would not be easy, watching Vernon in pain is the last thing he wanted to do, but he knew he had to, for the sake of his love. After a moment he nodded at the doctor, and looked between both the elder men in the room, “I understand. I’m ready.” The CEO also nodded, placing a comforting hand on Seungkwan’s shoulder and squeezing, as if trying to imbue him with extra strength.

“Very well.” The doctor said, “I will lead you to his room.” Seungkwan followed the doctor out and to Vernon’s room, where the doctor quickly cleared the nurses after making sure Vernon was in the most stable condition possible. Seungkwan wished he could look into the room while he waited, but to protect Vernon’s privacy the blinds were closed tight. It took about 5 minutes for the doctor to clear the room, and they were the longest 5 minutes in Seungkwan’s life.

As he waited he tried to prepare himself for what he might see. Why must I first cause him pain before being able to relieve it? He wondered to himself, desperately wishing there was another way. He closed his eyes and worked to steady his racing heart, knowing that he must be calm and completely sincere to be able to swiftly convince Vernon of his returned love.

“Are you ready?” Seungkwan’s eyes shot open to see the doctor holding the door open for him, and he nodded determinedly. “He is on some strong painkillers, he may seem slightly delirious, but I think he’s conscious enough to understand.” And with that Seungkwan slowly walked into the room and the doctor quietly closed the door behind him, though he would wait right outside of the room incase something went wrong and he needed to intercede.

When Seungkwan entered the dimly lit room he was relieved to find Vernon’s eyes were closed, and he used that to spend a little time taking in the sight in front of him. The younger man’s sandy hair was disheveled, and his breathing was extremely ragged. He had an oxygen tube around his face and in his nose, the doctor had changed it from a full mask so he would be clear to vomit. It pained Seungkwan to see Vernon like this, with IV’s in his arms and monitor probes all over his chest. Even with it all though, Vernon’s resting face was soft and carefree, not contorted in agony as it had been in the practice room mere hours ago.

Seungkwan took a deep breath and moved towards Vernon. He went to place a hand on Vernon’s wrist, but realized that less contact at first was probably better. “Vernonie?” Seungkwan said quietly, his soft voice dripping with emotion.

Vernon’s eyes opened and he glanced around the room before landing on the man he loved. His first instinct was to smile, and he did briefly, before gasping in pain, “Hyung no.” he managed to whisper as he turned his head away, praying that he wouldn’t suffer another attack, but knowing it was all too close as his chest constricted, preparing to eject the unwanted matter in it.

“Vernonie, I’m so sorry. I know this hurts you, but please listen.” Vernon was holding his mouth tightly shut, trying to will himself not to hurl the white lily petals in front of Seungkwan again. Seungkwan continued quickly, “CEOnim told me what is wrong. Vernon, I know you love me, I wish I’d known before… because then I could have told you…”

Suddenly Vernon’s breathing stopped, which set off a monitor alarm, as he was being choked off by the entire lily blossom trying to escape his throat. His eyes were wide with pain as he turned to look at Seungkwan, fear and pleading echoing in his wider, dark chocolate brown eyes. Seungkwan’s voice cracked as he attempted through tears to tell Vernon what he needed to hear. Swallowing hard he tried again to finish, “Vernonie, I love you too.”

At this Vernon’s eyes closed softly before he spasmed and violently vomited onto himself as he lay on the bed. Devoid of energy, Vernon wasn’t able to roll himself over and Seungkwan knew he’d surely asphyxiate, so he quickly reached across the younger man and pulled on his shoulder, rolling him to his side. Blood, bile and full lily blossoms littered the floor and Seungkwan’s clothes as Vernon’s chest spasmed over and over, leaving him no room to breath. Scared for his friend and unsure if Vernon had accepted his profession, Seungkwan began doing the only thing he could think of.

He kissed Vernon’s forehead as he continued to throw up and bent to his ear, saying loudly “Did you hear me? I love you! I love you Chwe Hansol Vernon! I love you, and I will never forgive you if you die on me! I can’t do this without you, I love you, please stay with me. I love you, I love you…”

He continued to desperately whisper his love into Vernon’s ear while using one hand to hold him on his side and the other to stroke his hair. The spasming slowed after about a minute and Vernon was finally able to take in a shuddering breath. He got a few seconds to breath and he was able to open his eyes again, staring straight into Seungkwan’s before a larger spasm began to shake him so hard that Seungkwan almost lost hold and nearly dropped him back onto his back. This last spasm finished with one final morsel ejecting from Vernon’s mouth. This time it was not just a bud, but a full stem and root system, the hanahaki disease in its physical form.

Vernon went limp and Suengkwan laid him back on his back, making sure he was breathing before letting out a sigh of relief, only just realizing that he’d been holding his breath in fear. Not caring that he was covered in a mix of flowers, blood and bile, he quickly moved to the door and opened it a crack to let the doctor in. The doctor looked around at the mess of a room and locked on the singular lily that was attached to the stem. He too sighed as both of them walked back to Vernon’s side. The doctor checked some vitals then looked at the terrified Seungkwan, his face breaking into a grin. “You did it boy, you cured him.”

They didn’t have to wait long for Vernon to open his eyes again, and he took a deep breath, completely unlabored for the first time in days. He looked deep into Seungkwan’s eyes as he smiled brightly and whispered, “Thank you hyung. I love you too.” This sent Seungkwan into a sobbing mess and he leaned down toward Vernon, about to do something he’d been wanting to do for ages.

Their lips met, and at that moment both of them knew that the coming days, months, even years, would be the best of their lives.

Please drop a kudos on AO3 if you liked this!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22936390/chapters/54825340

#Hanahaki #vernon #hansol vernon chwe #seungkwan #boo seungkwan #seventeen #svt #angst #choi seungcheol

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