#anon i have gotten many hate anons in the past couple months and its made me turn my anon asks off a lot

[shiningnightstars]

best icon ever btw. Ur right! Starlo IS xenogender!

anon this ask has actually made my day. your dont understand how happy this has made me.

for a bit of context, im fictionkin, and i happen to be starlo fictionkin AND xenogender. its like a double identity validation. anon i love you /p <2<2<2<2

[gaysimpsstuff]

Hawks With a Reader Who Tics

Genre: angst, fluffy fluff, 

Reader Pronouns: none

Other: This is based off of my tics, which usually only occur when I’m super stressed, and they’re all pretty simple. Just slapping my thigh, making a clicking noise, and general neck wanting to not be on my shoulders. If you want something more generalized, or something more along the lines of Tourrete’s Syndrome I am more than happy to oblige. Also this is totally self-indulgent so if no one else relates to this that’s fine.

Warnings: mentions of past teasing, reader cries, tics, shitty parents, cursing burnt toast and burnt bacon (the food not Dabi)

Taglist:  @smolchildfangirl @yuu-anon @poke-txts @combat-wombatus  -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You had been going out with the Number Two hero Hawks for about two months now, and things were going great! No weird clicking noises or head-jerking or arms wanting to smack your thigh or random shouts of the word ‘yummy.’ You were beginning to think that maybe all your weird (an)tics had disapeared.

You’d never been more wrong.

Okay maybe you’ve been more wrong at times but still you were wrong.

All it took was one shitty day. Co-workers being assholes, Karens being Karens, but worst of all was a phone call full of bullshit from your parents. That was all it took for your body to start moving on its own. And not in the good way, the way that causes you to make weird clicking noises, jerk your head around like an owl, smack your thigh and repeat the word ‘yummy.’ 

Okay, you could deal with the clicking noise and the random yummy outbursts but all the more physical things? You really didn’t have the patience to deal with it. Which resulted in you leaving work early, complaining about being sick while masking as much as you possibly could to your boss.

And finally, you were home. And free to just let your tics do whatever the fuck they wanted until they wore themselves out. You hoped this wouldn’t be the type to last over a day, because that happened sometimes, and it was so annoying.

But you forgot something, something very important. You’d planned with your boyfriend to meet up and watch movies at your place. You were just lounging around half naked when you got the text that he was on his way.

“Fuck shit!” you rushed to get decent, knowing that all you could really do was put on a shirt, pants, and half-hazardly brush your hair before you heard the doorbell ring. “Alright Y/n you can do this.” you muttered. “It’s Hawks, he’s chill, you can stay calm and click still around him. Th- this’ll be easy! Suuper click click easy! And If you do tic, no problem he won’t hate you or make fun of you or break up with you! Just gotta go out there and face him, easy peasy... orIcouldrunawayandfakemydeathandlivemycottagecoredreamwithablindcatohhhyeahthatsoundssomucheasier*.” you shook your head (bad idea, you ended up hitting your chest really hard) and forced yourself out of the bathroom and to the front door, quickly ushering your boyfriend in.

“Baby bird! I haven’t seen you in person in forever!” he exclaimed. You sighed, looking up at him and immediately relaxing. Your boyfriend was so pretty, so kind, so perfect. Nothing could get in the way of a nice relaxing night.

“You saw me three days ago.” you deadpanned, holding back a click.

“It felt like forever!” he complained, walking in and shrugging his coat off. He was still in his hero costume, so he must’ve only just gotten off work. He folded his coat and put it on the little table next to the door, alongside his goggles and headphones.

“You aren’t injured?” you asked, checking his arms and face for scratches, then glancing at his wings to check their size. How many feathers had he used today?

“Baby don’t worry, I’m okay. Today was pretty chill. I only needed to use my wings for like- three things today. What about you? How was work?” you stiffened, praying you wouldn’t betray yourself.

“Eh it was okay.” you shrugged nonchalontly or however the fuck you spell it. Hawks raised an eyebrow at you. 

“You know I can tell when you’re lying.” you gave him a forced smile, ignoring how your heart sped up. 

“W-what are you talking about?” Stuttering. Of course you were stuttering. It wouldn’t take much longer before you simply couldn’t mask anymore.

“Dove, tell me what happened, I’m your boyfriend I want to help you-” he stopped talking when he saw how your hand was bouncing against your thigh, striking it hard.

“Fine- I’m I’m I’m F-fine fine!” you exclaimed, head jerking backwards. Hawks blinked in confusion.

“What was that?” his voice rose in concern. Tears were brimming in your eyes as you flinched away from his touch. You didn’t say anything, only grabbing the back of your neck to forcibly hold your head down. Even when you ticked you could just hold yourself back.

“Baby, talk to me, you’re worrying me.” Hawks took another step forward, and you just stepped backwards again, whimpering.

“N-no! No no!” you cried. Hawks stared at you with wide eyes, fearful. Suddenly he relaxed. 

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay.” his tone was different this time, soothing, sweet, it was exactly the kind that would make you relax. “I’m here, I’m gonna help you. Can you move your hands for me, Babe?” 

Slowly, your moved your hands away from your neck, immediately your head tried to dislocate itself, and a sharp stab of pain shot up your spine. 

“OW!” Hawks opened his arms, still giving you a kind look.

“I know, I know it hurts.” he whispered. “Just come here, let me hold you.”

Hold you? When you were spazzing out like this? What if you hit him? What if you hurt him badly? What if he never wanted to see you again?” What if-

You ran into his arms, sobbing. You felt something soft tickle the back of your neck. A feather. He rubbed your back soothingly. Rocking the two of you back and forth as you cried against his chest.

“S-sorry! Sorrysorrysorry!” you yelped when your arm smacked his side. 

“Shhhh shhh baby it’s okay.” He took your hand, gently moving it towards his face. Bad idea. You jerked your hand out of his grip, sniffling. 

“Do-don’t do th-that- don’t do that. I’ll hu-hurt you. S-sorry.” he nodded.

“I understand.” he murmured, taking the two of you to the couch. He kept you close to him, feathers covering your body to try and help you relax. It was nice. He was warm and his voice was soft. You felt so... heavy. You closed your eyes, cuddling against him, close as you could possibly get before you finally fell asleep.

You slowly opened your eyes, the smell of bacon filling the air. You blinked a couple time, realizing you were in your bed. You sat up, groaning. Your neck felt so sore. 

Click click

Ah, right. The tics were back. You thought back to yesterday, eyes widening as you remembered what happened. Hawks. He had come over hoping for a movie and cuddles, hoping for a break from taking care of people, and you’d ruined that with your stupid tic attack. How long had he stayed with you? Did he stay awake to make sure you didn’t tic in your sleep?

You ran out of your room, grateful you were still in your cozy movie party clothes. In the kitchen, Hawks had two plates on the counter, both with scrambled eggs and two slices of toast. Bacon was sizzling in the pan. 

“Good morning, Dove! How are you feeling?” he asked, a soft yet tired smile on his face.

“Hawks! Hawks oh babe I am so so sorry about last night!” you exclaimed, your fingers twisted and curled around each other as you hoped to find comfort in the movement.

“Don’t be, it’s okay. I made breakfast, look! I may have burnt the toast but you’ll be fine with that, right? Baby?” he cocked his head to the side, noticing your expression.

“Y-you sure it’s okay?” you asked softly.

“Yeah! Was this the first time you had muscle spasms?” He sent a feather towards you, tickling your nose before circling around and rubbing at the back of your neck. You felt yourself on the brink of tears again at the soft gesture.

“No...” you murmured. “But I haven’t had them in a while I- I thought they were gone.” He nodded, humming.

“What triggers them?”

“Just- general anxiety and bad thoughts...” you mumbled. 

“Alright. If you ever start ticking again, just call me. I’ll swoop in and help you. I’m pretty sure it’s hard to get stuff done when your body moves without you.” he flashed you a bright smile.

“Doesn’t it... weird you out?” you asked. “I could hurt you... I could accidentally break something I- I-”

“Baby.” you looked up at him. He took a step towards you, cupping your face into his hands and pressing a kiss to your lips. “I’m here for you. I care about you so I’m going to do everything in my power to make you feel comfortable. It’s my duty as hero, but more-so as your boyfriend.” you sniffled, nodding.

“Baby?”

“Yes, Dove?”

“You’re gonna burn the bacon.”

“SHIT!”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*orIcouldrunawayandfakemydeathandlivemycottagecoredreamwithablindcatohhhyeahthatsoundssomucheasier 

Translation: Or I could Just run away and fake my own death and live my cottage core dream with a blind cat ohhh yeah that sounds so much easier

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

It truly is fascinating (and somewhat terrifying) what kind of reactions a picture of a members with another member’s dog taken sometime in December 2020 (according to Bangtan_Style07 on twt based on his outfit) can bring out of people. I’ve seen hate in many ways, caused by the dumbest things, but the outcry against Tae for posting a really, really cute picture with baby Bam is just absolutely fucked up, to say it bluntly. Are you okay? Is everything good at home? Do you need something? Because all of this isn’t normal. And calling Tae a clout chaser (which is the most harmless of things I’ve seen him get called) because of this? Really? Like really?

(As for the caption, I’m fairly certain it’s meant as joke/reference to how Seokjin always jokingly claims that he raised JK, and if not, seeing as Tae went to a dog coach before he even got Yeontan, and he’s also much younger than any of the dogs of the other members, I wouldn’t be surprised if JK asked him for advice when Bam was a little puppy)

And the hate/negativity even made its way over to us. Because of course it did. We’ve been rather absent recently due to real life obligations and yet this annoyed me/us enough to get us to post this because honestly, I’ll ask again, are you okay? Like seriously? All this over a picture with Bam? From last December? Despite literally everything that happened this year, within the last month, and even in just the final ITS episode that aired a few days ago?

From anon: How did we go from Tae posting on weverse about JM all the time, to Tae posting about JK or JK related things on weverse for the past few months? Tae with Bam. Tae saying he was jealous Army wrote lyrics for JK. Tae posting JK during his live. I hope JM finds someone who treats him better cause what Tae is doing, if they're together is not cool. Unless Tae & JK are newly dating & he's trying to move on from his weverse Imagination comment from 3 years ago, cause he feels different about JK now.

I’m sorry, I didn’t know Tae had some kind of rule on his weverse account that said he is only allowed to post things about himself or Jimin and nothing about literally anyone else, or does that rule only apply to JK, since he is the “threat”, or at least that’s what it sounds like according to you? What did I say just a few posts ago, did you even read it? Here’s a link in case you need a refresher because I’m tired of repeating myself over, and over, and over again.

Also, not to sound like an asshole, but if I apply your absolutely fantastic logic, does that mean that Jimin is treating Tae badly as well since he posted a pic with JK at the airport and not with Tae? Or because he called JK into his vlive and not Tae? Have we really reached a point where, if two people are in a relationship, they are only ever allowed to interact with and post about each other and no one else?

Just in March Tae said he likes Jimin the most, just last Friday during the final ITS episode Tae made Jimin breakfast and delivered it to his room, and just a few weeks ago during PTD on Stage Tae and Jimin had so many cute interactions, but yes, of course, all of that is irrelevant because of some weverse posts. Obviously. How could I forget. Silly me.

From anon: Why worry about Antis stabbing you in the back, when you're so called soulmate will stab you in the front. Vs shitty for that Bam post, esp after the hate for the last few weeks against JM & any time he interacts with Bam. Not sure what has gotten into V but seems he loves adding fuel to the TK fire lately. We all know its more toward JM, then JK cause V didn't magically wake up & realize he loves JK, not JM anymore. Not after the shit he's done & said over the years about JM. This is deliberate

“(...)the hate for the last few weeks against JM & any time he interacts with Bam.” So we’re just going to ignore all the hate that Tae got in the last couple of weeks, and the massive amounts of hate and vile things that were posted against him any time he even got close to Bam? Both him and Jimin couldn’t even breathe near Bam without either Xkook camp going berserk, making absolutely deranged accusations, as well as the solos stans of each maknae line members.

Also, tell me, how does Tae posting a pic with JKs dog have any kind of relevance or connection to Jimin? Unless you’re a Xkooker and also hold on to their outlandish and delulu claim that Jimin is Bam’s co-owner, where is the connection? There is none. It’s JKs dog, Tae is his friend, and so Tae took a picture with his friend’s dog and posted it. Just like JK used to have pictures and videos with Yeontan. Does that somehow mean that was also a deliberate move on JKs part against JM because...[insert vague and nonsensical reason here]? Come on now.

Now, repeat after me - not everything the members post has something to do with ships. And also repeat this after me - in most cases the things the maknae line members post have no relevance to ships.

I mean, by your logic, does that mean Hobi posting about JK and him spending time outside of work (some of the pictures he posted for JKs birthday) was Hobi adding fuel to the H*opek*ok fire? Or Seokjin and Hobi posting a picture on the day they flew to NYC was them adding fuel to the 2S*ok fire? Or Hobi just now replying to both Jimin’s and Tae’s Weverse posts, so he’s adding fuel to both J*Hope and VH*pe (and also XKook and Yeontan and Bam)? Can the members seriously not interact or post anything together/about each other anymore without it being interpreted as some kind of ship-fuel post or deliberate jab at another member?

Do you really think the three maknaes sit down every Sunday around a table and make a plan that okay, on Monday Jimin will post something with a Xkook hint, on Tuesday JK will post a cover that’ll be ambiguous enough to could be about either Xkook ship, then on Friday Tae will post a picture to add fuel to Xkook, and then on Saturday either of them will say something cryptic during a vlive or interview. Then they go, do all of that, have a good laugh at our expense, and repeat the whole thing the following Sunday. Because that’s how all of this sounds, and it also, as always, presents the entirety of the hyung line, as irrelevant when it comes to the maknaes and as though the only thing the maknaes care about is ships.

Yes, I did make jokes about Seokjin’s bike pictures being somehow connected to namjin on the basis that we know Namjoon loves riding his bike from and to work, as well as the fact that Seokjin got Namjoon a bike for his birthday. But the difference here is that I always make it clear that I’m not stating facts or that it’s the only interpretation ever and my word is law. I’m having fun, sometimes I even put on my delulu hat just in case. But these asks from anons? That is just taking it way too far and, again, playing into all the negative narratives painted across the maknaes that present their bonds as some eternal triangle of jealously, ever changing relationships, betrayal and cheating, essentially. Like do you hear yourselves and what your asks sound like, what they would mean in the grand scheme of things?

Do you want to know what my takeaway is from Tae posting that picture with Bam? That Tae is just as much friends with JK as Jimin is, and their bonds are essentially the same, that both Tae and Jimin treat JK the same, as their close friend, and that Tae loves dogs and therefore took a picture of Bam. ARMY definitely post on weverse how they hope we might get an update from JK on how Bam is doing, and since Tae was on weverse yesterday, surely he must’ve/might’ve seen one or two of them and thus thought he’d make us happy by posting a pic of him with puppy Bam. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Does there always have to be some kind of overarching ploy in what the maknaes do? Can’t we just say “aww cute” and be happy we got a picture of Tae as well as Bam? And can we also remind ourselves that this means that JK has had Bam nearly a year now and up until the first episode of ITS we had no clue, and therefore it just goes to show, once again, how we barely know anything about their private lives at all?

EDIT - anon reaction ask below the cut:

From anon: Agreed with everything on the v×bam post but it does make me wonder why this blog has never spoken out on the hate jimin recieves. Everytime jimin interacted with jk he was hated on. Yet never have u posted about it or expressed frustration. Meanwhile you always post about how its so unfair to jk. Now standing up for tae. I have been bothered for a while about this. Remeber when just pics of jimin and jk riding the atv were released. All those cruel msgs and posts even on weverse an you were silent. Leave jimin alone. Absolutely hate you for this biasedness.

Thank you for agreeing with our post, but I don’t agree with your accusations. Whenever we receive hateful asks against vmin or namjin, or any of the members though usually it’s just focused on the maknaes, we either ignore it (because there oftentimes in no point in replying) or we post something against it. All the posts where we voiced frustration or whatnot about the hate Tae/Jimin/JK receive was in in answer to an ask we’ve gotten. Except for my posts voicing my frustration at the treatment JK receives from shippers, as in him being painted as some kind of jealous monster and the prize everyone wants to “win”, we’ve never talked about the hate the members get outside of replies to asks.

The amount of hate the members receive, just like shipping, isn’t some kind of competition and nothing to play compare and contrast with. All of them receive hate and that’s awful, end of story.

Do you know how many waves of vile hate Namjoon has received since we started this blog? Or Seokjin? And yet I didn’t say anything about any of it. Do you want to know why? Because talking about it doesn’t do anything, at least nothing good. It draws attention to the issue, makes people that otherwise would have no idea (and this might be both ARMYs and antis) its happening aware of it, and in many cases that only leads to more fights, more hate, and instead of calming down a situation, it just makes it worse.

Yes, Jimin got hate over those ATV pictures. And so did Tae when we got the preview picture of him and JK on the ATV a week or two prior. I didn’t say anything about either of those cases. Do you really think we, with our comparatively entirely irrelevant platform, make a difference when we voice our opinions, that if we’d just said something, what, the hate would’ve magically stopped? No, it would’ve just drawn more attention to the issue and caused even more problems. And we don’t want that.

[debbiechanclub]

First Impressions, Second Chances, Part 1 (BTOOTxLBBF crossover)

SURPRISE! The long-awaited Best Two Out of Three x Local Bad Best Friends crossover is here! @freshlysqueezedmox and I were not planning on posting this tonight, but I was working on it and decided that we had enough to post the first part, so here we are. That’s right--this is going to be a multi-part crossover fic! Can you tell I’m excited? Because I am 😁

This is dedicated to the anon who suggested months ago that Sam and Alex should meet. I hope this lives up to your hopes and expectations, and I hope everyone enjoys!

First Impressions, Second Chances

Part: 1/?

Pairing: Chuck Taylor x OFC x Trent Beretta x OFC...? Something like that? You know our shit is complicated, y’all.

Word count: 3.4k

Warnings: Angst; some language; alcohol use

Check out my masterlist here and Summer’s here!

Tag squad: @hotyeehawman @comeasyoudar @heelchampbucks @librathepheonix13 @gabbynorth98 @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @exe-sadboi-exe @junglecassidy @hurricanranabaybay @siwonineedmoney @linziland13 @bec0m @betsy-bradock​

Philadelphia, 2015

To say Sam was nervous would be a gross understatement. Her stomach had been twisted into a perpetual knot for the last week, and it was so bad tonight that she actually felt a little sick. Maybe she should have stayed in. She had a match tomorrow, after all—and it was a big match. A huge match, actually, her first match back on the indies after leaving WWE; and she didn’t feel nearly as prepared for it as she would have liked. Her original opponent had broken her wrist and they’d had to book a replacement at the last minute. She should be at home watching match footage of her new opponent, not out on the town with Chuck.

But Sam knew she wasn’t actually this nervous because they’d changed her opponent. She was nervous because Chuck was taking her to meet his friends. His best friends, as he’d put it.

“What if they hate me,” she whispered to him as they walked down a sidewalk in West Philadelphia. He looked over at her and rolled his eyes. 

“They aren’t going to hate you, Sam,” he said with a shake of his head, a small smile pulling at his lips. “I actually think you three are quite similar.” 

That piqued her curiosity. “Oh really?” she questioned as seriously as she could, trying to hide the smile that was attempting to make its way onto her face. “How so?” 

“Well, you’re all gigantic pains in my ass, for one,” he answered. Sam’s eyes grew and she elbowed him in the ribs, making him wince. “Ow! Not even in town thirty minutes and you already want to fight. It’s nice to see some things never change.” 

“Nice to see you’re still an asshole,” she grumbled as she looked down at the pavement below their feet.

Chuck smiled down at her. “Yeah. But I’m your asshole,” he said as he threw his arm around her shoulders. Sam couldn’t help but grin in return. 

“Wouldn’t have it any other way, Dusty.” 

She leaned into him as they walked, and silence grew between them as her thoughts began to wander again. He wouldn’t tell her who they were meeting—just that they were his friends, fellow wrestlers, and she needed to meet them. She’d tried like hell to get their names from him all last night and again today when she’d finally made it to his place, but his resolve was unwavering. He said he didn’t want her drawing conclusions about them from what she could dig up online before she’d even met them. Which is exactly what she would have done if he’d told her their names. He knew her too well. 

“This is it,” Chuck announced as they came to a stop just outside the door of a bar; their bar, as he’d called it. He pulled it open and gestured for her to go first. She stopped just inside to turn around and look up at him.

“Are they here yet?” she asked as he moved to stand beside her.

“No... at least I don’t think they are.” He glanced around as he pulled out his phone. His fingers flew over the screen before he locked it again and looked down at her. “Where do you want to sit?” He tipped his head in the direction of the tables. She just shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t know, where do y’all normally sit?”

His eyes scanned the room again. He led her over to a corner booth and they both sat just as his phone dinged. Sam tried to nosily peek at the screen when he checked it, but he caught her and turned it away so she couldn’t see. She sat back with a hmph.  

“They’re a couple blocks away,” he said as he laid the phone screen-down on the table.

Sam sighed and looked down at her hands. The knot in her stomach twisted tighter.

“Hey,” Chuck softly said. “You good?” 

She pulled her lips into a tight smile. “Peachy,” she sarcastically returned. 

He huffed a laugh and wrapped his arm around her shoulders again. “Thank you for coming.”

Sam couldn’t help herself. “That’s what she said.”

Chuck rolled his eyes. “I really mean it, Samantha!” He gave her a gentle squeeze. “I know you’ve been nervous about this weekend for two months, and this is probably the last place you want to be before your first match back. So thank you for being here.”

He drew small circles on the exposed skin of her shoulder as he spoke. Sam’s stomach gave a little flutter. “Nervous? Me? Please. I don’t have one single nervous bone in my body. And you’re wrong,” she said as she nudged him with her elbow. “I wouldn’t want to spend tonight with anyone else. I know I acted like I didn’t want to come out… but I’m glad I did.”

A smile slowly spread its way across Chuck’s face. “Yeah?” he softly asked. Sam just hummed in agreement. 

But to say she was nervous would be an understatement.

* * * * * * * * * *

Alex couldn’t have gotten to the parking garage a minute sooner. She always forgot how long the drive was from Roanoke to Philadelphia until she had to do it again. She got out of her Jeep and let out a satisfied groan as she stretched her legs and back. The sooner she could get a drink in her, the better. 

“Alex!”

She whirled around at the sound of her name. A smile tugged at her lips when she spotted Trent walking toward her. She met him halfway and pulled him into an excited hug. “Greggy!”

“Hey,” he said as he gave her a squeeze. “Long time, no see.”

“I know!” She playfully shoved his shoulder as they pulled apart. “You left me for Japan.”

He rolled his eyes with a smile. “How many times do I have to tell you that you should come wrestle over there, too? I know they’d love you.”

Alex felt her cheeks tinge pink and she looked away. “Yeah, yeah,” she returned. “But you know I have my heart set on NXT.”

Trent sighed. “Yeah… I know,” he grudgingly admitted. “And they’d be stupid not to sign you.”

Alex beamed up at him. “Aw. Thanks, Greggy. Actually, I’m wrestling someone tomorrow who used to—”

She was interrupted when they both got a text. Alex glanced down at her phone, already in her hand. It was a message from Chuck in their group chat.

Hurry up, losers, we’re here.

“Jeez,” Trent muttered to himself. Alex bit back a smirk as she watched him type a response. Soon after, her phone sounded with his message.

Alex just got here, we’re at the parking garage.

“Come on, let’s go before we get in trouble,” he said to her as he pushed his phone back into the front pocket of his jeans. Alex grinned, and they fell in step next to each other as they exited the parking garage into the evening air.

“So, do you have any idea who Chuck’s mystery guest is?” she curiously asked as they walked. She knew absolutely nothing about this person who Chuck wanted them to meet, and it had been driving her insane. She didn’t like when things were purposely kept from her—it made her nervous—and she hoped Trent could give her a clue as to the person’s identity.

But, unfortunately, he shook his head. “Nope.”

She let out a frustrated huff. “Why is he being so cloak-and-dagger about it?”

Trent shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“It’s gotta be a girl he’s dating.”

He shot her a look of surprise when she said that. “What?” 

“Think about it!” she proclaimed. “Why else would he go through all this trouble to introduce this person to us? Nothing else makes sense.”

That had to be it. Their lives were so intertwined with each other that it was the only logical answer: Dusty had a girlfriend, and he wanted to introduce her to his best friends. But, judging by the look on Trent’s face, he wasn’t so sure.

“I don’t know,” he repeated. "I would know if Chuck was seeing someone. He's my best friend."

Alex’s eyebrows arched. "Ouch."

A corner of his mouth quirked up. "One of my best friends," he amended.

"Better," she nodded. “But I’m telling you, it’s gotta be a girl.”

“Well, we’re about to find out,” he said as they arrived at the bar. He reached for the door and pulled it open, and Alex stepped inside, stopping just inside the entryway so she could look around. She spotted Chuck in a corner booth—and let out a gasp.

“What?” Trent asked as he came to stand next to her.

She grabbed his wrist. “It is a girl,” she whispered with an excited nod toward the booth. They could barely see her side profile, but it was definitely a female sitting with Chuck, with brown hair that fell just past her lightly tanned shoulders. Alex cocked her head, curious. Somehow, she thought she looked familiar. But it didn’t matter. She’d been right.

“I told you Dusty has a girlfriend,” she said with a triumphant grin at Trent. But he didn’t seem to even register what she’d said. He stared straight ahead at the booth, his dark eyes wide and unblinking. Alex squeezed his wrist to get his attention. “Greg.”

“What?” He looked at her as if he’d come out of a daze. She arched a brow.

“You alright?”

He nodded. But the look on his face said otherwise. “Yeah. Go ahead and sit down; I’ll get our drinks. You want your usual?”

He started backpedaling away before she could even answer. “Yeah, thanks,” she returned, and he disappeared toward the bar.

“Oookay,” Alex said to herself. But she ignored Trent’s suddenly strange behavior and made her way toward the booth. Chuck spotted her and waved, a giant grin on his face as he slid out from the booth.

“Dusty!” She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. Outside of Adam, Chuck was her best friend on the entire planet. She’d met him and Trent at a PWG show last year, and the rest was history. She couldn’t imagine her world without them now.

“Hey.” He wrapped her up and momentarily lifted her feet from the floor. “How was the drive?”

“Long,” she breathed in response. “I swear it gets longer every time.” She pulled away from him and glanced toward his lady friend, eager to get a better look. And, suddenly, she knew why she looked so familiar.

“One, that’s what she said. And two, Alex, this is—”

“Samantha McKay,” Alex said, cutting Chuck off. “I knew you looked familiar.”

Sam smiled up at her from the booth. “Please, call me Sam,” she insisted in a lilting Southern accent. “And you’re Alex Hawthorne.”

Chuck glanced between them, obviously confused. “You two know each other?”

“Well, not personally,” Alex clarified. “I know her from watching WWE.”

Chuck’s brow furrowed. “Well how do you know Alex, then?” he asked Sam.

She grinned. “Well… we’re actually wrestling each other tomorrow.”

Chuck’s eyes grew wider than Alex had ever seen them. “No shit. You’re Sam’s first opponent back on the indies?”

She nodded, proud of herself. “Guilty as charged.”

Chuck’s smile nearly split his face in two. “Well, what the fuck? I knew I had a good feeling about this!”

Alex couldn’t help but share in his excitement. It was a pretty crazy coincidence that his new friend—girlfriend?—who he’d wanted them to so badly meet just so happened to also be her opponent tomorrow. 

But then her brow furrowed with a thought. “Well then you must know—”

“Greg!” Chuck proclaimed. “I was wondering where the hell you were.”

“I went ahead and got our drinks,” Trent returned as he appeared next to Alex. He handed her an amber-colored beer. She accepted it with a smile.

“Thanks, Greggy.”

He gave her a tight smile. And then he looked at Sam. Sam stared back, noticeably tenser than she’d been a few seconds ago. Alex glanced curiously between them.

“I was just about to say that you must know Chuck’s new friend,” she said to Trent.

“Shit, I didn’t even think about that,” Chuck realized. “Were you two in WWE at the same time?” 

Trent nodded. “Yeah, we were.”

Alex’s eyes flicked back to Sam. She nodded in agreement and took an awkward sip of her drink.

“Well, this is perfect, then!" Chuck proclaimed, completely oblivious to the shift in the atmosphere. He was too excited. "Sam and Alex are wrestling each other tomorrow, too! How crazy is that?”

Trent pressed his mouth into a thin line. “Pretty crazy,” he stiffly returned. But again, Chuck didn’t notice as he sat back down in the booth. Alex started to sit next to him—but Trent grabbed her hip and gently pushed her to sit next to Sam instead. She sent him a questioning look as they both slid into the booth, but he ignored it, keeping his expression blank. Stoic. 

Alex took a drink of her beer. There was weird energy between Trent and Sam; she could sense it. And she had a feeling she knew exactly what it was about.

* * * * * * * * * *

How long did it take to walk two blocks? The knot in Sam’s stomach grew more and more painful with each passing second and her thoughts were going a mile a minute. What if Chuck had brought her here to introduce her to a girl he liked? No, that couldn’t be it. She could read him like a book, and that wasn’t the vibe she was getting. But the fact that he refused to tell her anything… it definitely made her wonder.

She glanced at the bar. Chuck had gone to get their drinks—and he’d left his phone on the table. She stared at it, tempted. Was his password still the same? 

But before she could pick it up and try, her phone rung in her pocket. She shifted in her seat and reached behind her to pull it out. A picture of Orange Cassidy lit up the screen, his face flushed and drunk. Chuck had sent it to her back when they’d been in China and she’d immediately set it as her contact photo for Jim. She smiled as she answered the call.

“Hiya, Clementine,” she practically sang into the phone. Orange chuckled on the other end of the line. 

“Hey. Are you with Dustin?” 

Sam’s eyebrows furrowed as she glanced over to the bar where Chuck still stood waiting for their drinks. “Yeah… Why?” 

“Tell him I’m going to be a little late.”

Her face scrunched further in confusion. “Late to what?” she asked. It prompted a sigh on the other end of the line. 

“He didn’t tell you, did he?” 

Sam’s frustration grew as she looked back at the bar again. Chuck turned around, two drinks in hand. And then it clicked.

“You’re coming tonight!” she excitedly proclaimed.

Orange laughed. She already knew what he was thinking.

“Yeah, I know. That’s what she said,” she smiled. But then her eyes widened. “Hey, if you’re gonna be here tonight, then do you know who else—"

Before she could finish her sentence, Chuck set their drinks on the table and abruptly snatched her phone from her hand.

“Hey! That’s my fucking phone!” she proclaimed. But he just grinned and held it up to his ear.

“Jim? Hey.” He paused, listening as Orange spoke on the other end. “Yeah, I took her phone,” he said with a look at Sam. She glared back at him. “Okay, we’ll see you when you get here.”

He hung up and handed her back her phone. She snatched it from him. “Asshole,” she muttered.

“Sorry,” he apologized. “You know he would have told you.”

“Yeah,” she groused. “I know.” She grabbed her glass off the table and took a sip of the mixed drink. Chuck looked at her out of the corner of his eye and started to say something—but then his attention was drawn to the door. A giant smile lit up his entire face as he stood from the booth and waved. Sam froze. His friends were here, whoever they were. But before she could turn around to look, someone launched themselves at Chuck and pulled him into a hug. 

“Dusty!”

Sam looked up. It was a girl. Long dark brown hair fell down her back as Chuck squeezed her tightly and picked her up off the ground. Sam swallowed a lump in her throat as the two of them talked, getting lost in her thoughts again. But then the girl turned around, and Sam’s eyes went wide with recognition.

“Alex, this is—”

“Samantha McKay,” the girl said with the slightest Southern drawl. It was her. “I knew you looked familiar.”

“Please, call me Sam,” Sam said with a smile. “And you’re Alex Hawthorne.” 

Chuck’s face screwed up in confusion. “You two know each other?” he asked as he looked between them. 

“Well, not personally. I know her from watching WWE,” Alex clarified as she looked back at him.

“Well how do you know Alex, then?” he asked Sam.

She grinned, happy that Chuck was finally the one who didn’t have a clue. “Well… we’re actually wrestling each other tomorrow.” 

His eyes grew wide as saucers. “No shit.” He turned to look at Alex again. “You’re Sam’s first opponent back on the indies?”

She nodded proudly. “Guilty as charged,” she confirmed. The look on Chuck’s face was priceless. Shock mixed with genuine happiness. 

“Well, what the fuck? I knew I had a good feeling about this!” A huge smile broke out on his face, making Sam chuckle as she watched him. His excitement was practically radiating off of him as he looked between the two of them. But when Sam looked over at Alex, she found her brow furrowed in confusion. 

“Well then you must know—”

But before she could finish her sentence, someone walked up behind her, catching Chuck and Sam’s attention both. “Greg! I was wondering where the hell you were.” 

Sam’s stomach dropped and her face blanched. Greg? Trent? She blinked, but the person she saw standing next to Alex didn’t change. It was him. Her ex. She was absolutely beside herself.

She reached for her drink with a shaky hand as Trent spoke. “I went ahead and got our drinks.” She saw him hand Alex a beer out of the corner of her eye.

“Thanks, Greggy,” she smiled. Sam choked as she swallowed. Was Trent with Alex?

“I was just about to say that you must know Chuck’s new friend,” Alex said with a curious glance at him. Sam sat up straighter, putting the pieces together. Clearly, neither Alex nor Chuck knew that she and Trent used to sleep with each other. And Alex might be sleeping with him now, she thought. Great.

“Shit, I didn’t even think about that,” Chuck piped up, pulling Sam back out of her thoughts. “Were you two in WWE at the same time?” 

He looked between Sam and Trent. Trent answered first. “Yeah, we were.” His voice was devoid of any emotion as he spoke. It stung Sam, more than she would have expected it to. She tried to ignore it as she nodded and took a long sip of her drink. She could feel Alex watching her.

“Well, this is perfect, then!” Chuck giddily proclaimed. He looked at Trent. “Sam and Alex are wrestling each other tomorrow, too! How crazy is that?”

Sam dared to look at Trent. He stiffened. “Pretty crazy,” he said, just as monotonously as before.

But Chuck was too overcome with excitement to notice how unenthused Trent seemed to be in her presence. He sat down on the opposite side of the booth and Sam slouched, painfully aware of everyone’s movements. Alex started to sit next to Chuck—but Trent deliberately nudged her to sit next to her instead. It shouldn’t have bothered her, but it did. Alex scooched in next to her and Sam looked down, fidgeting with a string on the hem of her shirt. She felt someone nudge her leg underneath the table. She looked up and saw Chuck watching her with that beaming smile of his. She returned it as best she could.  

She reached for her drink again. The tension in the air was palpable. She knew Alex felt it too—she could tell by the suspicious look on her face that she did. But at least Chuck was oblivious.

She wondered how long that would last.

[bippityboppitybibuck]

hey, yeah, what the FUCK happened this episode. i've been trying to follow along with the live blogs and its honestly just chaos

Hey anon!!!

Okay so a lot happened and a lot didn’t. And that was the problem, I’ve not been in the fandom long and honestly until about two months ago I had never heard the term bucklemming (and until two hours ago I didn't know it was two people).

However, the fandom has a long-standing issue with them because of pacing issues in their episodes and OOC writing (ie jack not giving two shits that Cas was still in the empty despite knowing about the deal and what would have happened to get him taken by it) and their absolute love of Lucifer.

So quick run down of plot, (apologies this did not stay as short as i planned)

Everyone in the world is dead, Dean tells Sam and Jack that Cas is gone and there are literally no questions asked, they go back to the bunker and a couple days have passed, Dean passes out surrounded by booze but that's pretty much all the mourning we see him do

They follow jacks ‘i feel an energy’ thing to a church but first they make a pit stop at a gas station where Dean finds a dog; Chuck then immediately kills the dog once Dean is all excited that something else survived with them

They go to the church and see Michael who tells them that Adam died in the rapture (yes what chuck did was the rapture) they head back to the bunker and Dean gets a call from Cas but its actually Lucifer at the door and he's here to fuck shit up but wait maybe he’s here to help, he pops a reaper into the bunker (her names betty) and then kills her immediately and she becomes the new death (because the first reaper to die after Death is killed takes over (which seems like a bad system considering decades might go by before a reaper is killed after a death dies but alas) no one questions what happened to all the other reapers by the way but that's not currently relevant) 

Because only death can read the death books betty starts reading chucks and after a few sentences luci kills her (rip betty 2020) luci reveals that he wasn't on their side (shocker there folks) and he and Michael duke it out, Luci dies (thankfully) and Sam starts to translate the book because not only is death the only one who can read the book but they are the only ones who can OPEN the book to meaning that the book had been sealed this whole time

Sam works out a spell and its ingredients and they (the three of them and Michael) go to the literal same place they burned Cas’ body in 13x01 because why not (btw this is not ever addressed) and set the spell up but it doesn't work

Chuck shows up and kills Michael for consorting with dean sam and jack (even tho he was still working for chuck and trying to do right by his father) and proceeds to beat the fucking shit out of dean and sam, they refuse to give in and keep standing up (on several broken limbs might i add) this goes on so long it feels like when luci was beating dean to a pulp in swan song. 

Finally they confuse chuck enough to make him turn around and jack is up and looking like he wants to fuck shit up. he ends up doing the same move to chuck as he did Michael while he was possessing rowena in s14 and chuck collapses

Dean responds to chucks comment about being a killing machine by saying “no I'm not” which we all think is a call back to Cas’ speech before he died. 

The heroes explain that jack had become a power vacuum (actual dialogue) (remember the flowers jack killed in the silo?) and that over these past days he's been absorbing the power that is let off by things, ie, luci and Michael fighting, the plants and flowers, chuck pummeling dean and sam (bc why rip off just infinity war when you can rip off the entire lore behind the black panther suit/ vibranium too)  

Chuck is left powerless after this and dean sam and jack drive off as a now human chuck essentially grovels on the ground. they head into town and jack brings back everyone who was killed by god in the previous episode and then gives a really weird speech that confirms that he is in fact the new god (and that amara is now in him and they are in harmony) but says he's gonna be hands off and legit just glows a bunch and disappears. 

Dean and sam go back to the bunker and realize they don't have to worry about chucks control on them, we get a like four min montage of the entire show and then they literally drive off into the sunset.  

some important notes, Cas was not brought back to life despite it being stated clearly in the episode that god has the power to bring angels back from the empty, no one even asks jack to do it and jack doesnt do it on his own

there is no mention of Bobby Donna Charlie Eileen or anyone else that was killed in 15x18

Sam never asks dean about cas, having apparently gotten all the info he needed in the sentence ‘cas is gone, the empty took him’ 

honestly the only plot thread wrapped in this ep was god’s and while that might seem big its not really enough like the episode was lacking in a lot of areas

Its been said that Bucklemming hates both Cas and Misha, and that they are literally obsessed with bibro (loving sam and dean equally- a fan made term to stop the sam girls and dean girls from fighting i think) and that they are really really into the whole ‘the show is about two brothers and the open road’ which the show hasn't been about since maybe season two or three 

I'm not sure if you can tell from my synopsis (Again sorry it got so long) that a lot of the characters seemed off, Jack not caring that Cas was still dead, Dean not mourning, sam not giving two shits either way, sam not caring to check in on eileen, neither of them checking in with their hunter friends, Michael switching back over to chucks side despite his actions in 15x09, the fact that no one mentioned the plot holes in the ep (by that i mean within the episode no one had questions about the things that didn't fit, like Michael never questioned how a book that could only be read by death was being decoded by Sam)

overall the episode was bad, objectively, not from a destiel shipper standpoint bad. there are many ideas floating around about 15x20 considering this episode really felt like the end of spn, people are mentioning that the relationship arcs are unfinished and that Dabb (whos writing the next one and who has written many of the quinticential destiel episodes) will save the day. Im holding out hope that 15x20 will be better (which should be too hard to achieve after that shit show) 

I'm sorry if this is a mess I'm a bit all over the place but I wanted to make sure you got even a partial answer

[loveisbraveandwild]

hi so i’ve gotten a lot of messages and asks/anons about attending the city of lover concert and i just want to tell my experience and explain how it happened, as well as address some things like my “views” on international fans and class. a lot of people are excited for me but i also came back tot some really really really hateful anons so i just wanted to clear everything up. the post is very long but it basically talks about being abroad, going to sessions, and then this weekend in paris.

as you may or may not know i’m currently doing a semester abroad in germany. i’m really fortunate to go to a university in the states that has a strong study abroad program allowing me to study in germany without paying an additional cost from what i already pay my uni. knowing i was going abroad, i saved as much money as possible because i knew i wanted to travel. because of my visa, i am not allowed to work in germany. i haven’t not had a job since middle school. as a full time student in the states i also work three jobs. during the summer i was working around 50-70 hours a week. i’m privileged and fortunate enough to be able to take out a lot of student loans and what i can’t take out, my parents pay. aside from my education, i fully pay for everything. traveling while abroad was a priority for me so i was able to save a good bit a money.

in addition to saving for abroad i was pocketing about $10/week for what at the time i knew to be the ts7 tour. when i got my call to go to rhode island and then nashville i spent every dollar i had for tour on a plane and airbnb in nashville. other people stayed in hotels, i stayed in a $34/night airbnb and while i always imagined my dad would be there when i met taylor, he couldn’t come. i was lucky that many of my friends who i met up with in nashville had parents generous enough to pay for multiple meals of mine. despite all of this, i recognize my privilege of being able to go to sessions. i was saving for things that definitely aren’t necessities because i have the means to between my babysitting, sales associate, and paid internship jobs. while i havent spoken about it much because i honestly don’t know how to talk about it without getting backlash, i want to make it very clear that i do not for a second take for granted the fact that i was able to fly to nashville with 8 days notice as a result of the class and financial situation i am currently in. 

going back to abroad, i knew i was going to paris. i didn’t know when but its been a dream of mine since i started learning french at age 11. i imagined a short weekend with a few abroad friends to site see. when taylor announced the city of lover concert, i reached out to a couple of my international fan mutuals with the hopes of being able to meet up with them. i knew this concert was for international fans and i never for one second considered taking an opportunity away from an international fan. when yas and i discussed going to paris together it was clear that had she won tickets, she was going to go with someone else despite us staying together because we know there are people who have never seen taylor because of where they live. my plan was to go to the venue and meet up with friends and maybe catch a glimpse of scott or tree if we were lucky. i got a round trip flight for 97 euros and stayed in a hostel and explored paris alone for a few days until yas came to paris. my program doesn’t allow friday classes so i left thursday evening and then flew back to germany at 4am this morning because i had class at 9am. i did skip class on monday though, something i am eternally grateful for being able to do. 

the day of the concert we arrived around 3 and met up with the handful of people we knew were going. the day of the concert i learned that doors opened at 6:00pm and the concert started at 8:30pm. i didn’t know this until i was in paris. i also got pickpocketed the day before the concert so wasn’t able to access social media with the exception of a few times because of yas’s generosity and willingness to let me use her phone. had i had full access to my phone, i would have posted when and where the concert was.

when we arrived there was a barricade section of people without tickets but with the hopes of going in. there were about two dozen of them and almost all, if not all of them were european swifties. we found it odd that they were holding these people considering staff said multiple times that there were no more tickets. however, yas and i were still planning to leave at around 6:15/6:30 after everyone was let into the concert. at around 5:45 we were still there, people were getting excited, and i said to yas “i want to get into the barricade. what’s the worst that can happen.” after they let the first group of people into the concert venue they opened the barricade and gave us all bracelets. i was about fifth from last to get my bracelet and they still had what looked to be 20 or so more bracelets to give out. i was shocked. i was crying, shaking, smiling, all the good things. i could not believe what was happened. i never went to the venue with the intentions of getting in even for a second but i knew that if i got into the barricade with literally fifteen minutes until the doors opened i wouldn’t be taking a spot from anyone if they did distribute tickets. there’s no way anyone could have predicted they would let us in because staff made if very clear both day of and days leading up to the event that all the tickets were won or bought. me being there did not take a spot away from anyone. if i hadn’t gone in that would have been one less person at the concert, not one more spot for an international fan. i recognize my privilege of being able to go to paris at all, let alone with someone i had never met before for an event i wasnt even going to. 

i spoke a lot about the concert leading up to it, in addition to the experiences i’ve had since being abroad the last few weeks. i had no idea what its like to be an international fan and im frustrated that it took me walking a mile in international fans shoes to actually speak about it. i should have said something sooner, and i know that. i still stand by every single thing i said or reblogged about the injustices of being an international fan. again, my experience at the concert was not in spite of international fans. i want to continue to be an ally for international fans if welcomed to, but many of the anons i got suggested i should never talk about it again. additionally, i got a lot of asks about my privilege. this is something i know i need to address more directly and its honestly one of the hardest issues for me to talk about. the school i go to and the people i am surrounded by often puts me on the lower class side but in the real world and in this fandom i know i am extremely privileged. im not well educated on how to talk about my class privilege but its something i very much want to learn and so i am actively trying. this fandom has already taught me so much.

i’m sorry this is so long but i needed to get my story out because i’m still very distraught by the dozens of hateful asks i got about the concert. this was easily the second best weekend of my life and i boarded my plane back to germany shaking over the anons i knew i would come back to. i understand all the anger and frustration because i know there are people who have been here for years without even a notice let alone the opportunities i’ve gotten over the past month and a half. i want to talk about it but only in a constructive manner. i still dont have my phone to replies will be delayed but please feel free to comment, send me asks/anons, or messages if you took the time to read this post. 

[natsubeatsrock]

My 10 Favorite Posts, So Far

Well, tomorrow makes 5 years of blogging as natsubeatsrock. It’s been quite a crazy 5 years and I’ve made a number of crazy posts in the time between starting this blog and today. To celebrate I wanted to talk about 10 of my favorite posts over the past five years. This list isn’t necessarily ranked from least to most favorite, but there is one post I can call my absolute favorite.

Let’s go!

Honorable Mention: The Rewrite of Fairy Tail: Part 16 (Lisanna) [originally posted March 27, 2019]

As an honorable mention, I want to shed some light on my favorite post from last year. I started making this post months before the series was on the verge of ending. As I was working on this post and decided to work on rewriting Fairy Tail, I started to rework this series as a defense for keeping Lisanna in the series, as opposed to cutting her. This has been a theme in a lot of the posts I’ve made about Lisanna since a post I made before that one and I do plan to talk about that in the future.

#10. My Incredibly Unpopular Thoughts on: Ships/Zervis [originally posted October 25, 2015]

This is the earliest post in my top 10 and it shows. Around this time two big things happened: I made a post on August 31st called My Incredibly Unpopular Thoughts on: Juvia and the fandom exploded over Zervis, due to the revelations in canon. I intended to make that first post a part of a series and this was too big of an opportunity to pass. I remember that writing this was ridiculously easy for me. In fact, it’s one of the shortest posts for me to draft and upload with its relative size.

While I’m not as proud of how my writing prowess shines in this post, almost everything I’ve said in this post has become my philosophy on ships since posting it. My thoughts on shipping fandoms? Check. My thoughts on canon weight of ships? Check. My wishy-washy feelings over Zervis? Check. For a long time, this was my favorite entry in this series, but we’ll ge tto that soon enough.

#9. Bye, Bye Lucy: Part 4 [originally posted May 20, 2017]

A lot of you may be shocked to see this post on the list. “Bye, Bye Lucy“ was a series of posts I did explaining all of the issues I have with the infamous subset of fanfics that has Lucy get kicked off the Strongest Team in favor of Lisanna, resulting in her leaving Fairy Tail. I had a ton of fun working on this series. So much so, I actually ended up writing a story based on the idea I posit in Part 3 of this series, which I released earlier this month. But, individually, Part 4 is my favorite individual post in the series which focused on the idea of Lucy leaving the guild over the whole situation.

Originally, this whole series was going to be one really long post at just over 10,000 words. However, around the time I was working on the part that would become this post, I realized that these stories fail with each successive plot point important to this trope of story. At this particular point, any stories lose me as both stories inspired by Fairy Tail and as their own type of stories. No good story that I know even tries to play with these tropes has Lucy actually leave the guild, even temporarily.

#8. Why I Still Ship Nali (Even if Most of the Rest of Fandom Doesn’t) [originally posted March 1, 2020]

I didn’t want to add too many posts from too recent on this list. As much as I think my current writing is my most consistent writing, it would be hard to say that too many of my posts now are at the same level as many of the posts coming up on this list. But, I’m honestly glad that I made this post, especially considering some of the things surrounding its creation.

About three months into my blog, I made a post called “What I Need to Stop Shipping Nali (and why I still do)”. Around the time I was going to post it, I guess someone made a post questioning why people would still ship Nali. It’s become one of my least favorite posts and I’ve felt it desperately needed to be updated for a while. I decided to tackle an issue I’ve had seen in much of fan interpretations with Nali: doing nothing past Edolas with Nali. I wrote the first draft out months ago and waited for a good opportunity to type it out. When I got the hate messages, that felt like as good a time as any. Speaking of which...

#7. My Response to Anon-san [originally posted March 31, 2016]

A bit of backstory may help with this one. I posted “My Incredibly Unpopular Thoughts on: Lisanna” on Easter that year. I check my phone coming out of my church’s night concert and I got the two messages I respond to in this post. When I first saw I got messages, I was worried because that was the first time I ever got negative anon messages. But when I read them, I knew I needed to talk about this as my 3,000th post on this blog - a milestone I was on the cusp of approaching when I got the messages.

While I like the precedent my response seemed to set for my dealing with this type of stuff, the reason this post is here that I legitimately love the messages I was responding to. Every now and then, I read them to myself just to remind myself they exist. I’m not even sure why I got them in the first place. They don’t even seem terribly connected to that Lisanna post. While complaining about fandom has been something I’m apt to do for a number of reasons, I can’t imagine which post got on their “nevers”. But believe me when I say that I am feeling very cooling about the fact that I did.

#6. My Incredibly Unpopular Thoughts on: Nalu [originally posted July 9, 2016]

I’m sure this one isn’t much of a shock too many of you. Around the time I made this post, the “anti-Nalu“ community was very different from how it is now. I had made a couple of posts about some of the issues I had with the ship and its fandom, but nothing on this scale. As a part of Fairy Tail month, I figured should try to explain everything I saw wrong with both.

Even as I wanted to do this and made plenty of similar posts before this, the thought of backlash terrified me. I made sure to set it up to post when I knew I’d be away and wouldn’t be able to see how it was received. When I finally did see the responses to this post, all of them were positive and from people who agreed with me. It’s become my favorite post in the series and still seems to serve as a great primer for people who don’t ship Nalu.

Though I’m kind of sad that a lot of the stuff I talked about in that post regarding the development of Nalu and fandom habits haven’t changed almost four years since I first posted it. When I went to make the sequel for this post, I was shocked how little fandom changed and how stuff inside and outside of canon seemed to embolden fandom to be worse about other actions over abour 18 months. Though, I didn’t hate Nalu when I made this post, even as I stopped wanting to ship it around that time.

#5. Opinion I’ll Probably get Stoned For #100 [originally posted April 29, 2016]

I really have to get back to making these. “Opinions I’ll Probably get Stoned For” was the series I was known for starting less than two months into making this blog. It’s a series where I drop spicy takes ranging from Sweet Bell Pepper to California Reaper. I’ve gotten into it with fans over more than a few of the posts in this series. However, my favorite of the series is one of the longest editions in the series.

Months before posting this, I remember seeing one of my favorite Graytear bloggers get into trouble with Gruvia shippers. One point brought up that particularly pissed me off was the moment that Gray was about to used Iced Shell against Silver. According to the Gruva shipper, the fact that the panel remembering Juvia is bigger than the panel remembering Ultear showed enough of Mashima’s priorities. This argument literally made me sick to my stomach. For months, I’d privately joke that this proved the exact opposite: Gray went through with Iced Shell because he remembered Juvia.

To celebrate hitting the milestone of 100 posts in that series, I decided to make a longer version of the series and explain my thoughts in depth. As soon as I had the idea, I knew that had to be the one. My favorite thing about this post is that, despite clarifying that I’m not terribly serious about this argument twice in the post, I actually got blocked by a Gruvia fan over this post. I guess they didn’t see it as that funny of a joke. Weird how that works.

#4. Nali Week: Scars and Unkept Promises [originally posted July 24, 2016]

Every once in a while, someone will make the remark to the effect of “People should stop complaining about the ships they don’t like and make stuff for the ships they do like”. Thank goodness no one has actually said that in regard to my posts. As much fun as I’ve had over the years complaining about the stuff I don’t like in Fairy Tail and its fandom, I do make a point to talk about the stuff I do like and why every now and then. While the series was running, ship weeks usually meant meta posts from me and this is my favorite of them.

This post was born from my own musings about how the anime dealt with Natsu and Lisanna’s relationship. I wanted to talk about its handing through the perspective of Lisanna being an important person Natsu lost and how that works with his desire to see Igneel again. The big moments I draw on is his promise in episode 75 where Lisanna asks Natsu to save her if she ever gets lost and their reunion in episode 79.

The perspective I took in that post is one I don’t really take a lot. I’m not arguing against an idea a lot of people in fandom agree with. I’m not even really arguing that my perspective is the correct perspective. I’m explaining the thought process that Natsu, as I interpret him, has regarding someone he cares about. The stuff I talked about in this post has become part of my interpretation of Natsu and traces of it can be seen in a lot of the posts I’ve made since. We have to bring Nali Week back.

#3. An Open Letter to the Nalu Fandom [originally posted October 1, 2017]

I love satire as a rhetorical tool. I love taking an idea I disagree with to so large an extreme that the problems with it are obvious to even the people who agree with it. While many of my posts have drips of sarcasm and irony, I love making an entire post based on the idea of pointing out the problems with an argument. Consider that I’ve done similar things with Opinion #100 and, to an extent, my most recent story.

The trick is finding something with problems that are so glaringly obvious, you can’t imagine people actually taking its side. In the case of this post, it was a hilarious letter addressed to the “anti-Nalu’s”. Apparently, the idea that people openly didn’t like Nalu got on “the nerve of every last one of their pussy hair“. So they wrote a short letter they meant for fans who don’t like Nalu to read. I would give them a pass becasue they were apparently on their period, but they were defending those Twitter pics of Natsu and Lucy on chain leashes.

It’s worth mentioning that this was a few months after the original series ended. I had been trying hard not to make a post about Nalu and the stupid things I saw their fandom do. I didn’t even talk about the pictures they were defending. When I made this post, I figured that I was probably not going to be making many more posts about Nalu for a while. So I decided to throw in every issue I had with the Nalu fandom between talking about it a year earlier and then.

As you can probably tell, I haven’t stopped complaining about Nalu and its fandom. This post seems to have set the tone for how I would deal with the ship and its fandom this side of the ending. Instead of pointing to why a ship fails for me, I’ve been talking about why others should have expected the ship to fail. And, if recent events are a sign of the future, it seems like I’m going to have stuff to say about it for a while. Yay?

#2. Why was Ichiruki Popular? [originally posted July 6, 2018]

What does it say that this post is among my top 10, both on this list and in terms of most notes on a post on this blog? This is a Fairy Tail blog for crying out loud. I shouldn’t be able to get so much attention for talking about a series that isn’t Fairy Tail. It almost certainly shouldn’t get more attention than most of my posts about Fairy Tail. A few people even liked and reblogged it this week.

Then again, this wasn’t my first time talking about other series. I’d already spent time talking about Rave Master, Naruto, and Monster Soul on this blog. I asked my followers if it would be cool if I spent time talking about other series, now that Fairy Tail had ended. Since I got a fairly decent response I decided to talk about a few series, including Bleach.

I got into reading Bleach about a year before it ended. At the time, I was following people who were already into it and was well aware of the popularity of Ichiruki and infamy of its fandom. I was fairly behind but I didn’t see much reason to ship Ichiruki when it ended and I saw the fan meltdowns. Imagine my shock when I got to the end and felt exactly the same about its chances when Rukia said Ichigo’s just her friend. I made this post to vent.

If I started reading Bleach about a year before getting into Fairy Tail, I likely would have been a Bleach blogger. This post served as an interesting glimpse into what that timeline might look like. It’s also one of the few posts that sparked actually interesting responses. While many have pointed to the anime as a reason for its fan popularity, I can’t tell how the staff came to the conclusion that Ichiruki needed to be portrayed as more romantic than in the manga.

#1. I’m late to the “Nalu wasn’t the original plan” party, aren’t I? [originaly posted December 10, 2016]

I’ve made a lot of posts on this blog. I’ve said a lot of things, done a lot of analysis and meta, and shared a lot of opinions here. And yet, I can’t say that too much of the stuff I’ve said is important. Not to say that my insight into certain topics isn’t appreciated. It’s just that much of what I’ve said over the years, even in some of the posts on this list, likely has been and would have been said by anyone else if I didn’t say it. The biggest exception to that has been this post.

A few months before this post, there was a leaked image of Mashima’s afterword in Fairy Tail S regarding the extra chapter Special Request, which happens to be one of my favorite chapters in the series. In it, he admitted that he didn’t originally plan on writing Natsu and Lucy’s relationship as romantic and was currently writing them as somewhere between friends and lovers.

When I first saw it as an image on a Tumblr post, I was extremely hesitant to say anything about it. I didn’t know about Fairy Tail S and assumed it was a troll. When it was confirmed by another blog, and it source was ultimately verified, it was a dream come true. Mashima had vindicated my thoughts on the ship literal months after my big post on Nalu. And yet, not many people were talking about what this actually meant for Fairy Tail and the fandom moving forward. So came this post.

In many ways, I’m still shocked that I still have to point people to this afterword and what it means for Fairy Tail. I’m sure many people know Mashima didn’t plan on making Nalu happen, but I doubt many people understand that fandom is outright incorrect to say that Nalu hsa been obvious from the jump. In a weird connection to the previous post, Mashima’s comments on Nalu are similar to comments Tite Kubo made regarding his writing Ichiruki. Even now, it’s hard to say that Nalu will become canon knowing Mashima’s original intents.

Of the most important thing to come from this post, this marked the start of me starting to hate Nalu. Up to this point, I went from being indifferent to it to not liking it. However, once this came to light, I came to actually hate the idea of Nalu as romantic. I’ve had even less patience for the fandom that made itself near synonymous with the Fairy Tail fandom at large on every site ever. I doubt that will change anytime soon and I’m not sure if that’s a bad thing anymore.

Well, that’s my list of my favorite posts. I’m sure you guys have favorites among my posts and maybe some of them are on this list. If you want to see more of my other personal favorite posts and reblogs, I’ve tagged all of them as fav on my blog, including this one. Here’s to 5 more years of whatever the heck I’m doing on this blog!

See you!

[hollyhomburg]

Just For You (PJM)

PART ONE: DON’T WORRY LOVE

SUMMARY: In the wake of your eating disorder; it’s not your boyfriend Hoseok who understands you best; but  Jimin- who cares about you just a little too much. 

PAIRINGS: Hoseok x y/n, unrequited! Jimin x y/n, 

TAGS: Anorexia, Bulimia, Established relationship, unrequited love, mentions of recovery and relapses, body dysmorphia, Hurt/ comfort.

W/C: 2.4K

A/N: anon asked ~ Hello! I'm sorry If your requests are closed or if you don't take any, but I'm wondering if there's a possibility for you to do a part 2 of Don't Worry Love? Maybe when Y/N have the talk to Jimin and such? Anyway I'm sorry if something sounds weird, English isn't my first language 😂 I love all of your writing 💕

while I usually don't do requests my mind got turning and I wrote this in a single sitting! this is pure angst with unrequited love and there will not be a part 3 because y/n will never leave hoseok, but I couldn't not write it! enjoy!!!

Whenever Jimin touches his lips he remembers the taste of it, the burn of bile and the burn in his eyes when his whole body clenched. As if it was convinced- as if it needed to hold onto every calorie, ever bite. He’d realized belatedly that this was probably true, his body probably had needed it at the time. But Jimin had been determined at his lowest point; to rewrite his body’s needs with his own wants. 

He wanted to be skinny, wanted to be perfect, wanted to eat screams of praise up enough so that he’d never need another bite of food again, all he had to do was get there. 

All he had to do was not eat. But after it was over. The hardest thing he’d ever done was eat normally again. He’d fought against every negative impulse, fought to get every inch of self-esteem he’d lost back. 

So seeing you in that hospital bed, starved half to death, felt a lot like penance to Jimin. 

He’d never thought, having been so attuned to his own hunger, that he wouldn’t notice that someone close to him was struggling with the same illness. After he dealt with the guilt of not realizing how bad you’d gotten, he’d taken it as a caution to always be mindful of his own negative impulses. 

He wondered how Hoseok was taking the guilt- though he hadn’t found a private moment to ask just yet. Its been some weeks, since you’ve been discharged. Hoseok hasn’t been able to keep the worry off his face in the wake of what happened. And the look returns every time he leaves you behind to go to practice, or on the short trips that the group must take abroad to America. the times when no one can watch you and make sure you haven’t slipped backward are the worst for Hoseok, though you’d never know it.

Hoseok keeps himself mostly happy and worry free when he’s around you. Jimin knows it's not hard for him to be happy around you-you make Hoseok shine like nothing else does. That’s always been true even now during these tenuous months where recovery is a dirty word that hovers on the tip of everyone’s tongue. 

Since the boys moved into a larger dorm it was decided a little belatedly, that it might be best if Hoseok moved back into the dorm this time with you in toe. Every one of the boys lobbied for it from management. This way, Hoseok has more time to spend with you, and there are more eyes on you in general. they all ended up kind of taking care of you. How could they not? When you were so important to all of them. 

In the first couple of weeks, relapses where abundant. Seokjin found a plate of food that he’d made you at the bottom of the trash bag and told Hoseok. Yoongi heard you retching in the bathroom and told Hoseok. Jimin’s heard you have more than one crying session through the thin walls and got Hoseok to comfort you.

 Jimin knows how it feels, to sit at dinner and have someone count your bites. He knows how it feels to have to force yourself to swallow when all you want to be is empty for a little while, To have control again. 

Jimin watches you a little closer than the others- but then again he always has. 

Jimin didn’t know why he liked you- when you were his best friends girlfriend. It felt a little like betraying a family member with the way that he liked you a little too much.  Maybe it was the rush of being understood that made him like you, Or the possibility of someone not just accepting the better parts of him- but the worst parts of him too. Jimin couldn’t help but be possessed by the idea that you might not shy away from his faults like they where a wildfire that was flaring with the intent to burn.

Jimin’s ire was mostly self-contained, his disgust never growing beyond hate for himself.  In the beginning, a large portion of his energy went to making sure his disorder only hurt him and not the others.  But now he was older and he wasn’t as vulnerable as he had been in the past. His own mind was no longer his worse enemy and he no longer hated his body when he looked in the mirror. 

Jimin was better. Jimin had recovered. But you were still struggling. 

He still hasn’t been able to talk to you; he hasn’t found the time to broach the topic of recovery. Hoseok had even mentioned to him that right now might not be the right time, that talking about it might trigger another relapse. 

It’s Yoongi and Hoseok’s turn to cook tonight on the chore chart while its Seokjin’s and Namjoon’s turn to clean. It’s a hearty meal filled with a little bit more meat than usual and more carbs for energy. Hoseok had even made sweet potato’s- knowing that those were your favorite. They’d been finishing up when jimin got out of the shower and Hoseok had asked him to go get you for dinner. 

You and Hoseok have commandeered the 2nd largest room, even though now Jimin and Jungkook have to share- they don’t mind, they’d end up in each other’s rooms often enough now anyways (Jungkook’s started to have nightmares again). And Jimin’s always been the one they came to for comfort. (Which had made it all the more shocking when they’d found out that he didn’t come to them for support after they found out about his eating disorder).

Jimin tiptoes into your half dark room quietly- suspecting that you might be sleeping.  The blinds are drawn on the windows and the only light that spills into the empty room is the light from the hallway and the light from the closet. The bed is empty- thought the blankets are turned over in a way that leads Jimin to believe that you’d recently vacated it.

The double doors to your walk-in closet are parted and Jimin can see you, your hair done up in an (adorable) messy bun, clad only in a pair of yoga pants and a bralette. Jimin flushes, momentarily ashamed of himself for creeping up on his best friends girlfriend. He’s ashamed of admiring the way he can see the ghost of your darker nipple through the white lace, of how much he wants you. 

But then his eyes fix on your ribs, how he can still see every single one, and worry turns like a riptide in his gut whisking away everything else. 

You haven’t noticed him standing in the darkness and he’s just about to say your name when your hands move. You pinch at the skin underneath your ribs dragging out the skin there- and the little tiny bit of fat that you’ve managed to gain back in the last month. You pinch at it hard and then release it leaving it red underneath your skin- maybe hard enough to bruise.

“You fat fuck” you spit at yourself, the words no more than a whisper. “Why can’t you do even this right?” 

“Y/n-ah!” Jimin says, his tone chastising and loud in the empty room. Your eyes meet his in the mirror and he watches you as you scramble to pull the nearest thing over your head- a thin grey sweater that belongs to Hoseok. 

“Jimin oppa!” you flush, looking down at the ground, “you startled me,” you avoid his prying eyes, trying to diffuse the situation; the air feels heavy and charged. “Was there something you needed?” From the way you look at him up through your eyelashes; your eyes a little too unblinking to be honest, Jimin knows you hope that he won't pry, that he’ll let what he saw you do go. Jimin knows it’s not you, but your illness that’s driving you to be dishonest, he knows it because he was there in your shoes at one point. 

He’d nearly bit Yoongi’s head off 2 weeks post-hospital visit because he’d asked Jimin if he was lying when he said he’d eaten enough. Jimin had in fact been lying. It hadn’t mattered that Yoongi had been coming from a good place, he didn't care that he hurt Yoongi with his harsh words. All Jimin had wanted in those first few weeks of recovery was to go back to feeling the way he had before. 

He’d been so selfish. 

Jimin would have had many more relapses if it hadn't been for Yoongi. Yoongi had been the only one to keep Jimin together in those first fragile weeks. he still checked in from time to time. 

So Jimin crosses his arms and levels you with a defiant look. “Hoseok told me to tell you that it’s nearly time for dinner,” you smile at him strained, pushing past him in the doorway of your closet. 

“Let's go then?” you say brushing past him, Jimin catches your wrist in his hand gently; it’s still boney, still thinner than it should be. Jimin wants to ask you if you’ll throw up your dinner tonight if you’ll ever let Hoseok back in again, but his crowded mind barely manages to say anything. 

“Are you still… is it still bad?” you freeze at the end of his hold. And Jimin can see your shoulders fall underneath the sweater. He wants to pull you in close to warm your body with his and comfort you in the way he knows is easiest. But he makes himself maintain the space between you. 

You nod, the small movement barely a confirmation. “Did you…did it take you a while to get better?” you ask, your voice so soft, so small and unsure that Jimin almost thinks he’s imagined you talking.  He guides you to the bed, his muscular thighs straining against his pants in a way that they didn’t use too- a way that he had fought to want, to love, to have.

“It took me years- andI’m still- it still takes effort.” He can tell by the way you look away from him that this isn’t what you wanted to hear, Jimin wishes he could tell you that it was easy, easy to learn to eat without being prompted or forced again, but it wasn’t- and he won't fool you into a false sense of security. “Dose Hoseok know that you’re still- that it’s still hard?” 

You shake your head laughing a little bitterly, “He suspects it is, but I can't tell him, it’s like It won't let me tell him. It’s not easy, I want to be easy, but all I end up being is difficult for him.” You confess, meeting Jimin’s eyes, he can see self-loathing in your eyes, the way that your lips curl down in disgust when you talk about yourself and Jimin wonders if this is what he looked like.

Jimin doesn’t have a response for what you said- he merely sucks in his lower lip, exhaling through his nose. “How did you do it?” you ask. In all this time Jimin has not let go of your wrist instead his finger runs a trailing path up the side of your arm. A little too intimate for friends, but he gets away with it. “Get better I mean.” His thumb stops its tender trail. 

“I guess I just let them in” Jimin confesses, startling himself with how true the words feel on his tongue. “I let their voices into my head and didn’t let the other voice- the voice that kept telling me I wasn’t worth anything- win.”

You run your other hand through your hair as you look at the open door, one of the rings on your finger catches on a strand of your hair. And it’s such an intimate tiny thing and Jimin finds his heart clenching erratically. He can hear Hoseok laughing at something Namjoon said, their rich laughter filling the apartment- their home. “It can’t be that easy.” you say, looking at the door, the light that spills through.   

Jimin scoffs, and you look up at the sharp noise. “None of it was easy, but letting them help me? That was the most rewarding part.” Jimin lifts his hand to your face, tilting it up to level with his. “You’ve got to let them in Y/n, they all care about you,” Jimin swallows back the lump in his throat that makes the next words hard to say, “I care about you too much. You can’t keep going like this,” you close your eyes, a single tear drifting out of the corner of your eyes. 

“I know- I know- it’s just...” now its Jimin’s turn to nod in agreement because he knows. He understands keenly how addictive hurt can be when you think you deserve it. Jimin drops his hand, and you open your eyes, watching as he smiles softly, with a bottomless tenderness and gentleness at you. And he knows from the way your gaze flits away that it will take you a while still, To get better by any capacity. 

Your lips part and Jimin knows how easy it would be, but he doesn’t let himself lean forward because he won’t ruin this, this closeness with you. In the end, he’d rather have a friendship with you. Than threaten this intimacy, the kind he’s always wanted, the kind that comes from being understood but not necessarily from being loved. 

Though god knows he’d do anything for that too. Jimin has always been someone who was desperate and aching to be loved. 

He doesn’t think you’d choose him over Hoseok anyway. The two of you have been through too much, been together for too long to let anything ruin your relationship.

“Jagiya?” comes Hoseok’s voice from the open door. He doesn’t look startled at all to find Jimin and you sitting on the edge of the bed. Jimin sees the light return to your eyes a little when you see Hoseok silhouetted there, a bit of sauce and sesame seeds on his cheeks, an apron pulled on over his clothes, smiling like you're the only one in the room. 

“We’re coming- we were just talking,” you say easily, Jimin rises and tries to stuff down the guiltiness. But Hoseok only has eyes for you, he holds out a hand and you take it letting hoseok pull you up. Jimin watches from behind as Hoseok’s hand hovers on your lower back as he follows you two back down the hallway to your kitchen. 

Half of the boys are already sitting at the table. Jungkook helps Yoongi bring the meals various side dishes to the table. You sit across from Jimin. Namjoon scoops you out a double serving- still not quite understanding that you shouldn’t eat so much so soon. But Jimin knows you don’t have the heart to remind him anymore, not when you know it comes from a good place. 

Jimin can’t help but look at you over his own spoonful’s of hot soup, at the way that Hoseok’s arm is placed behind you. At the special, soft glances that the two of you share. The smiles he sends your way after every bite you take.

And Jimin can’t help but think that there are other things besides hunger that can consume you.  

[ventivante]

Atiny Anon Project - Mission 2

here is a playlist of some of my favorite songs (both at the moment and of all time!) for you to check out!

“AURORA” - ATEEZ | i thought it would be really fitting to start this off with an ATEEZ song, and this is my favorite from their new album. it’s got both soft and dreamy elements that i really like while still ultimately having that powerful ATEEZ-vibe, it is really the best of both worlds in my opinion! i immediately lit up the first time i heard it and had a huge smile on my face.

“APESHIT” - The Carters | what more can i say besides IT IS BEYONCÉ! well, her and her husband, but i love everything about this, ESPECIALLY THE MUSIC VIDEO, legends only can close the Louvre to film a music video, the beauty of it, the badass beats, the lyrics that are so meaningful to me, it’s a complete work of art

“Pretty Girl” - Clairo | this is something i like to listen to when i’m in a low key sad mood, so not completely depressed, but just kinda down. it’s easy listening and doesn’t progress my bad mood, but it’s something i can kinda be mellow listening to, allowing myself to feel without getting overwhelmed with negative emotions. usually helps me perk up more.

“No Maria But A Human” - Jvcki Wai | this is something i like to jam to while i’m driving home from work. i like a lot of heavy bass and beats in my music, especially stuff i would consider “pump me up” music, something that gets me in a more upbeat mindset and ready to take on the world. or just because i’m really happy to be going home and doing nothing lmao ����

“Dramatic” - BVNDIT | this is a girl group i have just recently gotten into and i LOVE THEM. i like that a couple of their vocalists have deeper voices and it’s a nice little break from all the girl groups who usually sing on the higher scales. i cant help but dance along when i listen to this song.

“SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK” - Joji | this song makes me think about someone who was once dear to me and ultimately broke my heart. despite everything, it reminds me how much i miss them, even to this day years after.

“wish you were gay” - Billie Eilish | this song gets stuck in my head so easily, and it’s actually okay with me because i love it so much. to me it’s equal parts pop and equal parts sad, a perfect balance and i can listen to it no matter what mood i’m in.

“Forever For Now” - LP | this woman has an EXQUISITE and unique voice, it’s so haunting and i feel goosebumps every time i hear this song. all of her songs have this quality and her music reminds me of being back home in a bittersweet sort of way, and also of moments when i’m feeling longing for something from my past.

“Highway to Heaven” - NCT 127 | when i say they killed it with this song, I MEAN IT OKAY, DONT SLEEP ON THIS SONG YALL. not only is it a certified BOP, it fills me with such nostalgia and reminds me of visiting California with my family and friends and driving through the desert. it reminds me of how i was able to resurface from a deep depression and one of the most difficult transitions in my life—from hating myself to learning to love myself again.

“Hundred” - Khalid | on a less light note, i still have those deep depressions i face, though many times they are completely silent struggles. i don’t like burdening people with my struggles and what’s bothering me, so this song really hits home with its message of pushing through those darker moments and continuing with life.

“우린 봄이 오기 전에 Before Our Spring” - Jonghyun | this one......still honestly hurts. not a lot of people probably know but Shinee was my first and only kpop group i followed for the longest time before starting to expand, so naturally Jonghyun’s death hit me really. fucking. hard. this has always been one of my favorites especially since “Poet | Artist” was released afterwards and i couldn’t listen to it without crying for months. probably the most sentimental song on this list.

i hope you enjoy this playlist i have made, my lovely atiny anon, and anyone else who may like to listen! these songs all mean a lot to me, but they’re certainly not the only ones, i have so many more so it was difficult to narrow it down to just a few! i’m sure i’ll end up sharing more of my favorite music in the future!

[mitchmarnier]

BLOOD IN THE WATER

summary: “That’s ridiculous,” Ben said, feeling his hands shake around the pen he was using. The accusation made the back of Ben’s neck break into a sweat though his body had never felt so cold. “We’re not at war.”

Tozier looked up from underneath his messy fringe, a humourless smirk sliding across his face. “You’re a fool if you believe that.”

[or: after the gruesome murder of his younger brother, Bill Denbrough is determined to bring about the end of the string of crimes in Derry no matter the cost. As stories unwind and fall apart, there’s only more questions as everybody’s lives hang in the balance.]

chapter count: 3/20

chapter warnings: mentions of past character deaths, mentions of hate crimes, mentions of past statutory rape, 

[Read Full Story on AO3] [Playlist]

Taglist: @honkhonkrichard, @hufflepuffkaspbrak, @reddie-for-anything, @saddhippiee, @reddiesetrichie, @wowdidiask, @emmieliabedelia, @beepbeepbitchard, @lemonadeandrice (if you want to be added, message me off anon!)

Mike Hanlon tucked the small, crooked wing back against the duck’s shaking body and held him closer to himself. The small bird quivered slightly and Mike frowned for a moment, having to wonder if the shaking was him or the duck. Mike’s father entered the kitchen with a load of groceries in both hands and crinkled his brow at his only son.

“What’s that you got there, Mikey?”

“A duck.”

Will Hanlon looked at his son for another moment before sighing, smiling slightly. “You always were a regular old Fern Arable, son.”

“That was a pig,” Mike said, smiling softly down at the now-sleeping bird in his arms. “This is a duck. We have enough pigs anyway.”

“That we do,” Will placed the groceries on the counter and began to unload them. The feeling of discomfort and sadness that had been sitting in his stomach all afternoon returning now that Mike had another moment alone with his thoughts. Those same, disturbing thoughts. “They found another body today.”

Mike noticed his father’s stature stiffen, the way it always did when Mike brought up the string of murders. Will Hanlon hated talking about the Derry Murders in way that was different than other parents in town. The other adults in Derry didn’t want their children brining it up as they liked to pretend that nothing was happening as best they could. Slap on a curfew and act as though anything that happens was then out of their control. The mayors own son was murdered, and everybody just shrugged their shoulders and went on about their everyday business.

Will Hanlon was a much better father than most in town, Mike had known this since he was old enough to know anything. Something about these murders settling deep within Mr Hanlon’s bones and a part of his father shut down every time it was brought up. In any other situation, William Hanlon was open and would answer questions that Mike had ever had about anything in his life- until last spring, when kids started getting killed.

“The Corcoran boy, right? Edward, was it?” Mr Hanlon shook his head. “A damn shame. Kid’s been through the ringer already. Ain’t nobody deserve that but after all that boy had been forced to go through.”

Mike nodded solemnly. He’d gone to school with Eddie Corcoran since he’d been switched into public school once high school started, a whole four years ago, but Mike had always kept to himself. A bit of a loner, by choice he supposed. He knew, though, of course about Eddie’s father and the death of his little brother just the year before. In a town like Derry, it was impossible not to hear about terrible things that happened to other people. Mike supposed that enough people, in time, would just chalk up Eddie Corcoran’s deaths to the same as his brothers- anything to continue pretending that the curfew was helping jack shit.

“Yeah, it’s…” Mike started but Mr Hanlon quickly closed the doors to the cupboards and looked expectantly to his son.

“Can you finish putting the groceries away?” Mr Hanlon asked, rubbing at his temples. “I think I need to take a nap. I feel a headache coming on something awful.”

“Yeah, Dad, of course,” Mike said, quickly setting the injured duck back into its tissue box bed as he stood. Mr Hanlon patted him on the shoulder once as he walked past, and Mike tried to make the quickest work of the groceries that he could.

“You know why he won’t talk about it, don’t you, boy?”

Mike jumped, and turned around to find his grandfather moving slowly to sit at the table. He had a big leather bound notebook in his hands and he looked more lucid than Mike had seen him appear in many months. Grandpa Hanlon’s diagnosis of Alzheimer’s was all but official, though Mrs Hanlon always said he didn’t have quite enough symptoms for doctors to give it the name it deserved. Mike was watching the old man struggle with things that he never would have imagined his grandfather would, but now the man that sat at the kitchen table looked so much like the grandfather Mike had grown up with that he almost forgot about his deuterating brain cells.

“I…” Mike shrugged, rolling a can of gluten free gravy between his hands. “I supposed because it makes him uncomfortable. All those kids getting killed.”

Grandpa Hanlon hummed, opening up the notebook and sliding it further across the table. “It does make him uncomfortable but not just because of those poor kids… because it’s happened before.”

Mike crinkled his brow, leaving the groceries discarded behind him as he moved to sit across from his grandfather. “What are you talking about?”

“Thirty years ago, there was a string a killings. All young teens, just like now.” Grandfather Hanlon patted the notebook and Mike reached out to take it. Inside were several newpaper article dated between 1990 and 1991, all about deaths of students from Derry High- northside and southside alike. Mike frowned deeply, flipping through them. There were twenty one in total, Mike stopped at the one… the only one that seemed to have been a leading story in the paper.

LOCAL TEACHER ARRESTED FOR ILLEGAL RELATIONSHIP WITH UNDERAGE STUDENT

Mike raised his brow and looked up at his grandfather. “What does this have to do with the murders?” Mike rang his finger tips across the man’s face, admitting to himself that there was something sinister to this man. The image itself appeared as though it were taken directly out of a yearbook, the teacher in question just smiling at camera but just the smile brought a deep chill to Mike and brought goosebumps up around his arms.

“That has everything to do with the murders, my boy.” Grandfather Hanlon said deeply. “That man is Robert Gray, and he killed all those kids back in 1991. And would’ve have gotten away with it, too, if he hadn’t been caught messing around with that poor, young girl.”

“What girl?” Mike asked, his voice coming out barely above a whisper.

“Goodness, I couldn’t tell you her name.” Grandfather Hanlon shook his head. “It was so long ago and my memory isn’t what it used to be. She was only fifteen, couple years older than your father was back then, and they kept her identity very hush hush.”

Mike nodded. “What happened to her?”

Grandfather Hanlon sighed. “I don’t know, most people believe that the poor girl just changed her name and moved from Derry. It would make sense, given what he was.”

“You don’t believe that?” Mike asked lightly, rubbing his thumb into the old newspaper. Grandfather Hanlon sighed, shaking his head.

“I’m not sure how the girl could have been with this evil a man, and not know what he was.” Grandfather Hanlon said. “But I can’t pretend to know. They found all the evidence for his other crimes while searching his house for the rape charges and we know the girl never testified against him.”

“She could have been afraid.” Mike said, but he too had a slight twinge in his stomach that told him there was much more to the story than simple fear. “Why does Dad have all this stuff?”

“Because Robert Gray went to jail for twenty one murders, but your father and I know he committed at least twenty four.” Grandfather Hanlon said darkly, a look coming across his face that Mike had never seen on his before. “Your father was only eleven, guess he was too young for Gray’s type but I’ll.. I’ll never forgive myself for leaving town that weekend.”

Mike swallowed harshly. He knew that his aunt and uncle had died when his father was very young, while his grandparents had been away for the weekend. The only explanation to it he’d received had been “an incident” but the deep, dark words in his grandfather’s speech made Mike want to throw up.

“This Gray guy… he killed them?” Mike asked, forcing his voice to stay light. He pushed the newspaper ridden notebook away from him, reaching for his duck and pulling the small animal close to his chest.

Grandfather Hanlon nodded. “Your father and I have always believed so but… Robert Gray was never tried in their deaths, despite the similarities in them. The Derry Police had ruled it a hate crime by the next morning, and that’s they’d had to say about it. Robert Gray never faced justice for my baby’s deaths, and your father has never truly gotten past that.”

Mike squeezed his eyes shut. “Is that why Dad hates talking about the deaths now? It reminds him of what happened?”

“Partly.” Grandfather Hanlon said lightly. “Though, my boy, if I can be honest with you- there are enough common actions in these crimes and those of thirty years ago that even a man with as poor a memory as I can say that it leaves me with unease.”

“You think the same person is doing this?” Mike said, hearing an irregular pitch in his voice. “I thought you said he was arrested.”

“Arrested and dead.” Grandfather Hanlon said, the smallest hint of a smile tugging at the old mans’ face. “Bastard took a plea to escape the death penalty but it did him no good. Would’ve lived longer waiting on the Green Mile than he did going into the lions den. Robert Gray didn’t live to see 1992, If there’s anything they hate up there in Shawshank, it’s kid killer and worse- kid fuckers. Robert Gray was both, and doomed from the moment he walked into that building.”

Mike nodded, digging his front teeth into his bottom lip. Grandfather Hanlon tapped the notebook and nodded at his grandson. “You read these.. read them, Michael. Know your enemy. No gangster is killing these kids.”

Mike nodded in response, keeping eye contact with his grandfather until the man stood and shuffled from the room.

There was burning curiosity deep in Mike Hanlon’s stomach and knew that, with the new information, there was no way he’d be able to just sit on this and let bad things happen. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to do this alone… and he knew the exact right people to help him.

xxx

“Benjamin Hanscom, please report to the journalism office, immediately. Benjamin Hanscom to the journalism office.”

Ben gathered up his books and walked from the classroom, feeling the eyes of his classmates staring at him as he moved. There was nothing Ben hated more than having attention drawn to him, and he could feel Stanley Uris’ eyes burning into the back of his neck. Ben knew only where the journalism office was because the guidance counsellor had tried to encourage him to write for the school paper when he’d first moved to Derry. He’d known it was because of his aunt and mother, so Ben had refused.

He came into the open office door, and frowned at the two other students that seemed to be cooing over a small duck in Kleenex box. He recognized the boy as Mike Hanlon, whose family ran the farm on the edges of town and Ben wasn’t sure he’d ever seen him interacting with other students anymore than Ben himself did. The girl beside him was Aurora Morgan, who ran the Derry High Harold and was- in truth- one of the prettiest girl that Ben Hanscom had ever seen.

“I’m…” Ben scratched the back of his neck. “I was called here, I don’t…”

“We called you, Ben Hanscom.” Aurora said, voice high and sweet like a song. Ben felt his face turn pink and forced his eyes down to the small duck in Mike’s hand. “We need you.”

“Need me? I…” Ben shook his head, swallowing harshly. “Why?”

Aurora and Mike smirked at each other.

“We’re going to solve a murder.”

[mosshugs]

:3c ............................................... all flowers >:3c

I did half of these and it got deleted so i have to start over HOLY shitBelow the cut is most of everything you could want to know about me 

Alisons: Sexuality? Nesoic Bisexual!

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender? Transmasc enby, he/him or it/its pronouns

Amaryllis: Birthday? July 10th!

Anemone: Favorite flower? I love all flowers, and it changes a lot, but for the moment probably hydrangeas?

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show? Soul Eater, Star Vs, American Horror Story, Steven Universe, and AtLA!

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger? Hm…Staying behind in a dangerous situation to make sure they got out, or inviting them to spend the night in my home if they didn’t have anywhere safe to be?

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes? “The thing about everything is that it all gets easier with practice, so be careful what you practice.”

Aubrieta: Favorite drink? Probably…Really good warm apple cider, with cinnamon.

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes, absolutely!

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love? I am currently in love with two human miracles!

Baneberries: Favorite song? This changes constantly, but right now Man Down by The Eden Project

Basket of Gold: Describe your family. There’s not a lot to say. I don’t get along with most of them, so we don’t see each other much.. It’s a pretty toxic family, and I kinda want to be something better than that.

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?I do!! @discoursedmitri is my best friend!

Begonia: Favorite color? GREEN FOREVER

Bellflower: Favorite animal? Again, all of them, and the main one changes constantly. Right now though? Arapaima. They’re so beautiful and they look ancient and wise

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person? Depends on when I wake up! Though I do love the almost otherwordly quality of nighttime...

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?Probably a dog again? It’d be fun to roll and play and RUN and cheer people up!!Either that or a fish, that seems like a peaceful existence.

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to work for the ASPCA when I was really small

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children? I love kids, I want to have my own one day! Children should be able to explore the world and learn safely in a welcoming and kind environment, and should be free to enjoy what they love and have fun in peace.

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why? Abandonment, and people I love dying.I’ve had 15 people die, and countless more leave. It does something to you after a while.

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood. I used to play with bess beetles at my grandma’s house and build little leaf houses for them

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  Spending time with the people I love and making sure they know how much they mean to me and how wonderful they are, maybe rewatching some old favorite movies and really trying to make the most of it

Buttercup: Relationship Status? Taken and promised to two wonderful boys!

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go? TO SEE @n0r5k1 !!! 

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved? Anytime when I’m spending time with my boyfriends or close friends and they’re treating me like I’m welcome and wanted. I’m not quite used to it yet but it’s so nice??

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  Not yet, but I really want a full sleeve of flowers that represent different important things in my life, and a radioactivity symbol

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  Nope! I’d like several, but I think I’ll just end up with my ears pierced..

California Poppy: Height?  5′11 or 6 feet depending on who’s measuring

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts? I’ve seen too many things now to not believe in them

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  Fuzzy pajama pants covered in hearts, fluffy white boots, a grey t shirt, and a heart player hoodie

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight? Yes! I still do. My heater has blue light effects and they’re very calming

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  Probably my mom?? Possibly Riot

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?Riot’s the ONLY person I’ve kissed

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font? ?? I like gothic fonts pretty good

Columbine: Are you tired? I paused answering these to take a nap and just woke up.

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to? Raising baby mice, and going to stay with Riot for Christmas, and seeing Norski for the first time...

Coneflower: Dream job? Therapist! One day

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert? Ambivert!

Crocus: Have you ever been in love? I think we’ve been over this already? 

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?Literally anything short of willingly accepting full on abuse. I’d give my life for the people I love.  

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it? Cookie! A black and white Ty cat with a red ribbon. I still sleep with her.

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign? Cancer! And I am a stereotypical one.

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering? I sure hope I have, but I guess I wouldn’t know. 

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment? Helping people when they’re in bad places, and being a positive force in their lives, and being someone that can be trusted.

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  Try to ask her why and get a good solid answer, maybe talk it out?

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?My friend @gold-rook because I was calling him a gay disaster

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at? I’d like to think I’m pretty good at drawing?

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at? SEWING, i can’t see a needle for SQUAT.

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month? - I cosplayed at a con yesterday with Riot- Norski started doing spoken word stuff which is mega cool!- My mouse sat calmly on my hand! She’s learning to trust me

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today? VERY sleepy. All I’ve done is sleep and do chores. But! My mouse gave birth we’re pretty sure, so that’s really cool! I hear tiny peeps from their tank...

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life? I’m not quite where I want to be, I’ve got a long way to go, but I’m happier with where I am right now than I ever have been. This year has been a year of growing and changing, and I hope I can keep down this path. 

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two? Visit with my dear Norski and hug him for the first time!

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life? 1 and 2: Riot and Norski3. Simon4. The soul eater chat i’m in5. Soul eater in general6. Stuffed animals7. Fun nights out8. Music that makes you feel something9. Laptops!10. All of my pets!

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?  Listening to music and daydreaming, sometimes watching videos on youtube. Jacksepticeye is good for stress. I also tend to compulsively clean when I’m really worked up

Hellebore: How do you show affection? Oh every kind of way. I’ll send you random babbles about how much I love you, I’ll buy presents and cuddle and hug and try to help on bad days. My love language shifts around constantly so I end up just doing all of the above.

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of? The fact that despite everything that’s ever happened to me I can still sometimes help people.Also the one time I dumped scalding water on a creepy guy who was being gross to me.

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day. I’d...go to the zoo or the aquarium or a museum, something like that, with my boyfriends, and maybe a couple of friends too! And we’d go to lunch someplace nice and tell jokes and laugh, and maybe go in a few little odd places or stop at a park, something spontaneous y’know? Then go home and have a movie watching party with lots of snuggling and junk foodThat’d be pretty great.

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  I don’t have a lot of free time, but on the rare occassions when I don’t have a chore to do and I’m not dead tired I like to watch things with people and draw!

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?Not that long actually! I followed him on tumblr like… last year? And started sending him anons because he seemed really nice and i was worried about him. Eventually I came off anon and we swapped discords! We’ve gotten really close since then.

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?My boyfriends, and Simon. I can trust them to listen and not get angry or hate me.

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?Acquaintance friends? A bunch! Close friends? Just a tiny handful of folks.

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Someone once told me that I was probably the person they trusted most in the world; it was an honor to have earned that.

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself? Eh..I’m trying to learn to like myself but it’s still a work in progress. At least I think I’m a pretty decent person? I sure hope I am.

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself? I’d like to think I’m compassionate and easy to talk to…?

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  I panic easily, especially over what I don’t know. The second something seems like a possible loss or threat I can get almost smothering in my stressed out nosiness

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child? I LOVED drawing! I made self insert characters and OCs for like, everything I watched ever

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid? I didn’t have many consistent best friends…I guess a girl from my school named Ambree? She was fun to do stuff with but, not especially nice honestly.

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for? Accidentally misgendering an ex boyfriend of mine once

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  Venting about my feelings or problems. Or like, having feelings and problems in the first place.

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name? My chosen name is straight up just based off of two of my strongest kintypes, though I also just really like the name Marco! Cotton came from my desire to have a gentle and approachable kind of name that was still unique!

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it. Uhhh my childhood house was a place my mom and dad built. Just a little brick one story, but still a pretty nice place. I was friends with the neighbor girl and we’d be weird and play on the trampoline out back. Sometimes mom would take me for walks to see the horses in the pasture a ways down the road.

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up? BRIGHT YELLOW walls with a mural of flowers on hills painted on it, very silly and childish but still cute. I had a bunk bed and a giant pink dollhouse at the time! 

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  My teenage years were Terrible because high school was terrible and my mental health took a nosedive, but around 18 I graduated and started to gain a little bit of balance back. Overall not a great bunch of years, though.

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.She acts a lot like a roommate. I love her a lot, and she does try her best, but she’s still considerably emotionally abusive and I really need to move away from her. 

Onions: Tell about your dad.  He liked to fish and hunt, and he was a pretty good dad even though he could have some really bad anger flareups at times. He died when I was 8, so i don’t really remember much.

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents. The only one I know well is my dad’s mom, and we have..a complicated relationship. She’s not the worst, but she can be manipulative and guilt trippy and had a huge hand in me getting bpd. She likes to cook, and she works at a gas station. 

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable? I can’t remember things by date easily fasdflkj;ds??This last birthday Riot was here though, so that made it special!

Peony: What was your first job? I haven’t had a true job yet, disability makes it hard.

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any? I met Riot in a homestuck kin server, funnily enough, and Norski was a very close friend of mine in my steven universe rp days! We reconnected and a spark came with it, and the rest is history!

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain? I usually compartmentalize until I have some quiet time by myself to listen to music and cry and vent art and rant some of it out. I prefer to physically be by myself, it’s easier to externalize it that way, but I will text people and ask for help if I need to talk. I’m still learning how to handle it in a healthy way instead of being self destructive.

Pink: Where is home? Anywhere the people I love are

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change? If I had influence over whatever I wanted to change? I’d stop T///rump getting elected lol

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them. My former Spanish teacher was a tiny little woman, but still commanded respect in her own way. She was always kind, encouraged creativity, and tried to make things interesting and exciting. She wasn’t afraid to disagree with her boss if he was immoral, and she kept the wellbeing of her students as a priority. I will never forget her gentle, respectable, fun nature. 

Primrose: Describe your ideal life. I have a job as a successful therapist, helping people heal from their trauma. I come home in the evening to my husbands. We are financially comfortable, our closest friends live next door and visit often. We have a decent number of pets, and are preparing to try for children. We cook dinner together and laugh the whole time, then snuggle close and settle in for a movie. Trauma and pain isn’t anywhere in our minds, our humble home is clean and warm. There’s nothing to be immediately afraid of.

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child? I believed in dragons until I was like. 15.

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life? My boyfriends and my best friend

Rose: What’s your favorite sound? My boyfriends’ laughter!Honorable mentions are thunderstorms, muffled talking in distant rooms, and snow crunching underfoot  

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory? The day me and Riot asked out Norski and we were all dumb stupid gays flustering all over each other. Also! Riding out to Texas to see Riot the first time and him trying to jump on me but just panicking immediately over the height. I actually have a few favorites, now that I think about it..

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory? I have trauma, so, there’s a few of them..Some I won’t mention here.Aside from those, definitely the memory of the, horrible hollow feeling funerals have for me. It’s always so cold and empty feeling, just. Absence.

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?  A big hug, a nap, and chicken nuggets when I wake up

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things? If I’m talking to someone I trust, i can be very honest and expressive. Otherwise I generally cover up a lot of my true feelings in favor of being agreeable and easy to deal with

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without? My cellphone and headphones, I don’t function well without access to music

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night? Like…8 hours? I’m super sleepy right now though.

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning? To see my friends and boyfriends, and to try and make the day interesting!

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job? I don’t have one, I just take care of the house

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing? My Perfect Circle t shirts, my high school hoodie, and and my Soul Eater jacket!

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  Abandoned cities with plants climbing up the walls of the empty buildings, neon signs still flickering and buzzing as the rain pours around them, water filled with glittering and colorful fish as it reflects the stars overhead. 

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you? A stuffed animal will almost NEVER fail!

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now? I’m not especially stressed for once, though, I’m always worried about the people I’m close to, and kinda nervous about the possibility of losing someone.

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called? I haven’t read a lot of physical books lately, mostly just fanfic.,,.I read Pinestar’s choice at some point not long ago?

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?…I really don’t know? There’s a lot of possibilities. Mostly I just hope I’m happier, and have recovered further from shit in the past. I hope me and my boys are still getting better, and I still have my friends. That’d be enough.

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?Tragically, yes

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.I’ve taken like 2 hours to answer all of these because I can’t not be long winded

[vagrantblvrd]

Break My Bones (1/1)

Summary:  Gavin got into this life in an odd way.

Notes: Prompt fill for Anon who wanted Gavin and Ryan working together before joining the FAHC. This is...somewhat along those lines? /o\

AO3

Gavin got into this life in an odd way.

Never really meant to do it at all, but there was Dan. Goofy and sweet and a kind heart, watching out for Gavin in school. Bruised knuckles and bloody noses because Gavin's always made for an easy target.

Smaller and the kind who stuck out. A beacon for trouble, and in came Dan. Fists swinging and cocky taunts and a stupid smile when Gavin pulls him to his feet afterward. (Losing as many fights as he wins, but he never shies away, never backs down. Just wades in and pulls Gavin out and whatever happens after that happens, doesn't it?)

Dan with his silly jokes and rapt attention when Gavin tells him some new bit of information he learned in school or off on his own, curiosity never satisfied. Easy smile and always willing to listen to Gavin going on and on and on about the things that catch his interest and never a word of complaint.

The two of them growing up thick as thieves, couple of idiots against the world.

It starts small, Dan and his unwavering loyalty and Gavin can't do any less for this idiot who's been at his side for years and years now.

Watching an airshow on television – pair of idiot kids who don't have the money to see the real thing and make do with what they do have. Dan's soft “It'd be brilliant, wouldn't it?” as they watch the acrobatics on the screen. Impossible and amazing and a wistful look on his face.

Planes are expensive, and anyway, the ones that manage to catch Dan's eye aren't the little propeller-driven things they see flying overhead from time to time. Personal aircraft and small cargo, no.

He likes speed, doesn't he. Flashy jets with sleek lines and the kind of power to them that hurls them into the air and leaves the ground far below. Dull splotch of color and open sky as far as the eye can see.

There's really only one place he can go for that, but there are requirements to be met first. Ones Dan can't, and it's all so stupid and an insult and Gavin -

Well.

He's always had a bit of a way with computers, but he's not good enough just yet to magic up the kind of miracle Dan needs, but he's clever. Resourceful, even, according to the comments teachers have made to his parents when they thought he wasn't listening.

Growing up the way he has, small-ish town and people knowing one another, Gavin understands favors and the way you can make them work for you if you're clever about it.

So he sets about collecting them, picking and choosing and uses his way with computers to help. Discovers he knows someone who knows someone, who knows someone else who might be able to fudge Dan's paperwork. Just enough for the right price. (A little favor, really.)

It's time-consuming and tedious and Gavin loses sleep and collects little debts along the way because favors go both ways sometimes, but this is for Dan, and well worth it.

Definitely worth the look on Dan's face when he gets a call one day. Runs all the way to Gavin's because he's smart, isn't he, under all the silly jokes and comical buffoonery.

Stares at Gavin like he's never seen him before, and asks, “What did you do?”

And Gavin, he pulls his headphones off and turns away from his computer and one of his projects and looks at Dan and asks, “What are you on about?”

========

Dan gets his planes and the sky and Gavin has his favors and little debts that grow over time. End up being the reason he leaves England.

In the end Gavin thinks it's a fair enough exchange when there's nothing interesting left for him in England with Dan gone so much of the time and he discovers Los Santos in all her glory.

========

Gavin finds himself working for small-time crews and even smaller gangs, content with hitting a convenience store or dealing in things like stolen cars.

Small things that net them money and little to no attention in a city with bigger problems. Keeps them under the radar, doesn't draw the attention of larger crews in the city or earn the wrath of the gangs scuffling for territory like dogs with a bone.

It's perfect, really. Gives Gavin time to get his feet under him in a foreign city, foreign country, learns who pulls the strings and who burns them. Learns to pick and choose as he goes along, careful in the beginning to remain a non-entity in Los Santos. Just another petty criminal who's got a way with computers and is known to dabble in other electronics, nothing to make him stand out from the crowd, just yet.

In doing so he hears about the dreaded Vagabond long before he meets him in the flesh.

At first he doesn't realize the Vagabond is an actual person, just thinks it's some kind of bogeyman the people of Los Santos have collectively created. Some strange cryptid dreamt up to explain away the bizarre things that happen here. Disappearances and other things no one ever takes credit for but everyone knows about.

And Gavin, well.

He finds it all very interesting, doesn't he.

Drinks in the stories he hears from the people he works with after he arrives in Los Santos.

Giddy, almost, like kids telling scary stories late at night and half-believing the monsters would hear, come looking for them.

“I hear he takes souvenirs,” Eddy says, missing teeth and not the brightest, really, but he likes to talk.

Tells Gavin things he shouldn't, but it's harmless enough because they're crew, aren't they?

Eddy looks around, but it's just the two of them in this little dive bar and a bored bartender who's been cleaning the same glass for the past ten minutes. Leans in and lowers his voice as if he's afraid someone might overhear and says, like it's a secret, “Ears.”

Gavin pauses mid-drink and carefully sets his bottle of beer on the table in front of him. Eyes Eddy like maybe he's had one drink too many, gotten all turned around in that funny little head of his.

“'Ears',” Gavin says, because surely he's misheard? “Are you telling me - “

Eddy raises a hand to one of his ears and makes a slicing motion along with the appropriate sound effect as he looks Gavin dead in the eye.

Says, so quiet it's barely a whisper, “Carl says he's seen him take toes, too. Just lops them off like it's nothing!”

Gavin -

“He sounds terrifying,” Gavin says because that's clearly what Eddy's going for here and he'd hate to disappoint.

Eddy beams at him, drunk as anything, and wobbles his way to the bar for another drink, leaving Gavin  alone to a bit of thinking.

========

A few months later and Gavin's crammed into a small apartment with a different crew. Laptop humming away as his little programs work at cracking a bit of a problem, and a pair of hired guns on the other side of the room gossiping.

Oh, he's sure they'd call it something else if asked, but it all boils down to the same thing in the end.

Bored and restless as they wait for orders and not much else to do but talk to fill in the silence with a broken television and spotty cellular service.

“You hear what happened to Charlie?” one of them says, short and stocky and apparently colorblind.  “He pissed the Vagabond off.”

Gavin glances up, but the others are too engrossed in their story to notice the scrawny hacker who happens to be blatantly eavesdropping.

“Oh, shit,” the other says, mouth dropping open. “He dead?”

“Guy dropped him off a a roof,” the first one says, equal parts horrified and impressed. “Fucking Batman shit right there.”

There's more, but Gavin misses it as his laptop chirps at him, attention dragged back to the actual problem at hand and not some nebulous figure running around the city striking fear into the hearts of its inhabitants.

========

It seems each new crew or gang he finds himself working for comes with a new story or tale of terror involving the Vagabond.

Some sort of image of the man forming itself in his mind piecemeal with each new bit of data. Incomplete and at times impossible because surely not? Surely someone so terrifying, so utterly monstrous couldn't possibly exist, and yet so many people seem so certain.

“Guy's a freak.”

It's the one with a thing for explosives, arson very near and dear to him and quite a temper to boot. Loud and exuberant when he gets going, and Gavin is fascinated because he's another one who likes to talk. Can go on and on and on about just about anything if you get him started, but he's far smarter than Eddy.

Doesn't talk about crew business, gives Gavin the old side-eye when he starts hinting that way.

Michael's part of a crew who went looking for a hacker and found Gavin. Works for the them to pay off some debts and then he plans to get out of Los Santos altogether if he can. Find something better than what he's doing now.

“Well, obviously,” Gavin says, handing Michael another beer. Wonders where he puts it all as he takes a drink, smirk on his face when he sees Gavin watching.

“You're not so bad,” Michael says, as though it's something he doesn't like admitting. “So I'm gonna give you some advice if you want to stay alive in this shithole of a city.”

Gavin feels himself smile because Michael's being serious here isn't he. Watching Gavin like he knows damn well he's not going to listen to whatever well-intentioned advice he has to offer and doing it anyway.

“Stay the fuck away from the Vagabond,” Michael says, irritation leaking into his voice because Gavin's still smiling at him, still not intending to listen to a damn thing he's saying “Guys like him? They're nothing but trouble.”

Gavin hmms, because it's sweet, this. Michael warning him off this little mystery that's gotten its hooks into Gavin, and Michael swears as he flicks the bottle cap off his beer at Gavin's face, embarrassed.

Growls at Gavin, more bark than bite, “Fucking idiot, you're going to get yourself killed looking for him, aren't you?”

Gavin shrugs, honestly hoping not because that wouldn't be very interesting at all.

Michael snorts and holds his beer out to Gavin in a mocking toast, crooked little smile on his face because he's done his good deed for the day. Not his business if Gavin's the sort of idiot to dismiss whatever warning he's passing on to him, but good luck not getting himself killed anyway.

========

Gavin's certainly looking forward to getting a chance to meet this Vagabond character, but there are so many other interesting people in the city he keeps running into in the meantime.

People like Michael that Gavin takes to keeping an eye on in simply because he happens to like him. One of the few people in this damn city who looked at Gavin as though he was an actual human being and not simply an asset brought in to tackle a problem. Fill in a role no one else in his crew could.

Took him aside and told him to watch out for the handful of hired muscle brought in, big burly bastards with a habit of pushing anyone smaller than themselves around. Warned Gavin off looking for the Vagabond when he realized Gavin was that kind of foolish.

And now there's a sniper.

Another few months down the road and Gavin's working with a new crew. Uninspired bunch, really, but they've got grand plans and their money's good.

The sniper's a freelancer who sticks to himself, quiet and unassuming and some kind of reputation to him that has the hired guns eyeing him warily.

Trustworthy enough because he's the tight-lipped sort, and the rumors say he's worked with the heavy hitters in town from time to time, and young.

Damn good shot, and that alone would make him interesting – this young and already so skilled? But he has to go and have this mysterious air about him, too. Quiet and aloof and disinterested in the goings on about him, there to do what he's been hired for and gone the moment his part's over.

And Gavin, because he's curious, sidles up to him one night. Skies above Los Santos clear and bit of light from the stars shining high above.

Something to the way the sniper's been around the crew that niggles at Gavin, reminds him of his first few weeks in Los Santos. New to the city and working with strangers who'd just as soon sell him out as lend a helping hand if things went south on them and so very aware of it.

“Lovely night,” Gavin says, because he likes interesting things, people, but good lord is he awful at making conversation sometimes.

The sniper grunts, glancing at Gavin and toying with a spent casing from his demonstration earlier that day that earned him a spot in the crew and a hefty payday at the end of the job.

Shiny bit of brass he's rolling back and forth, end over end, like a nervous tick. Some bit of restless energy, and Gavin hums absently because he's clearly not going to get far with the sniper like this, is he.

Stranger than the others all put together, probably, holed away with his computers and gear and odd little accent in a city where things like that stand out. No real loyalty to any crew he's come across in all this time.

So Gavin shrugs as he takes out his phone and pulls up some silly game he'd found a while back and never really has the time to play in between work and collecting favors and bits of information he happens upon.

Blocky figures and an insanely busy street and Gavin barely makes it ten steps before his character gets brutally flattened by a truck. He scowls down at his phone and tries again, makes it seven steps this time and a station wagon comes out of nowhere.

And again, and again, and again, and -

“Jesus Christ, you suck at this.”

Gavin blinks, thumb hovering over his phone's screen and looks over at the sniper. Sees the expression on his face like he honestly cannot believe anyone could possibly be so awful at a simple game like this one.

“I'd like to see you do better,” Gavin says, like that's any kind of dare, and the sniper snorts.

Flings the casing away into the shadows and holds his hand out for Gavin's phone, a crooked little smile on his face.

“Challenge accepted, asshole.”

========

Gavin's got a way with computers, works at staying on top of technology as it creeps into the world because being obsolete in his line of work is...not ideal.

“What the hell?”

It's a bit of this, a bit of that and someone's managed to find it, which means it's back to the drawing board for that little gadget.

Still, whoever's found it is a curious one. Pokes and prods and Gavin winces at the squeal of feedback, tugs his headphones down around his neck, but not before he catches a muffled, “Geoff, take a look at this - “

Gavin rubs at his ears as though that's going to do anything for the annoying ringing noise he's hearing. Stares at his laptop screen and wonders just how much trouble he's going to find himself in for leaving the damn thing where he did.

Spot where a former crew liked to do business, little restaurant somewhere downtown with shady owners and even shadier clientele. Quiet little booth in the back with a lovely screen of potted plants and obviously the kind of place he might pick up useful bits of information here and there.

There's nothing too incriminating that might lead back to him, no specialized parts or painstakingly engraved initials on its casing or the like – Gavin's seen it, here in Los Santos. Idiots with egos and a need to let the world know how smart they are, so bloody proud of their intelligence and no damned common sense to them at all.

The kind who think they're too smart to get caught, for anyone to find a way to trace things back to them, and Los Santos is the kind of place where people like them just...disappear.

There one day and gone the next, and no one really surprised about it at all because being smart isn't enough in this city.

“Shit.”

Gavin's not the only one in Los Santos who has a way with computers, and he's made a mistake here. Gotten bored, reckless, in a city where so much is the same old thing day in and day out and that's not a good thing for someone like him.

Has him packing up his things and looking for a place to go to ground for a bit. Find a new place to live because he's been in this little apartment for a while now. Worked for several crews since he moved in here, and no doubt there are more than a few people who'd like to get their hands on the hacker they hired who helped break them down.

========

Living in Los Santos, Gavin has come to appreciate the fact that people who lived in the rundown apartment buildings he called home were smart enough not to ask questions. Didn't bat an eye at the way he kept odd hours, would be gone for days, weeks at a stretch at times.

Knew better than to ask in a city like this, and it's spoiled him a bit, because when he moves he decides he's gotten tired of shitty plumbing and spotty heat in the winter. Doesn't like the way the battered little air conditioning unit struggles to spit out lukewarm air on the hottest summer days.

Digs into one of his accounts and splurges. Gets a place in a well-to-do neighborhood that comes furnished with minimalist decor because that seems to be the trend at the moment.

For the most part his neighbors are far too polite to come out and ask what it is he gets up to, coming and going at all hours the way he does.

Of course that doesn't stop the old biddy across the way from trying to catch him at whatever it is she thinks he does.

Heard a noise or thought there was a delivery for her. Thought her precious little teacup poodle had gotten out of the apartment again and was looking for her.

She catches him when he comes dragging in at three in the morning once. Dirty and scruffy and looking more like someone who'd be bodily tossed out of the building than a tenant. Her glasses glinting menacingly as she watches him fumble the keycard a time or two because he's exhausted and coming off a week's worth of stress crammed into less than a day, two, possibly, because he's lost track of all time.

Made a mistake, cost his employer a good deal of money and paid for it when his hired muscle got a little hands on with the tech guy. Knocked him around a bit, made sure he'd remember not to do it again if he valued his teeth and appreciated having working hands.

“You look tired, dear,” she says, suspicion thick in her voice as she peers out at him from the safety of her doorway, fluffy bunny slippers peeking out.

“Long day,” Gavin answers, grateful for the absolutely ridiculous sunglasses he's wearing to hide that beast of a black eye he's sure to have by now. He doesn't mean to laugh, not with the way his ribs are  aching, but there it is anyway. “Killer, even.”

She makes a disapproving noise as Gavin manages to get the keycard in on the third try. Gavin slips inside and stops bothering to hide his limp as he drops his bag by the door and makes for his fridge and the ice packs piled within.

Even with his upscale apartment vastly improved heating and cooling systems, Los Santos is still the same dirty, mean city underneath it all and it pays to remember that, doing what he does.

========

Gavin's working for a group of smugglers operating out of a little airstrip hidden in the mountains somewhere north of Los Santos when he finally meets the Vagabond.

The area is quiet and isolated and Gavin's taken to working in a shed just inside the treeline.

Old thing, starting to fall apart from neglect and the camouflaged netting covering it isn't doing a damn thing about the holes in the roof that lets water in when it rains.

Gavin ends up scrounging for containers to catch the water, plastic bottles and jugs and chipped and half-broken mugs. Makes for an odd sort of music when it does rain, drips and drops and splatters when they overflow and Gavin's too involved in his work to really notice.

“Jesus Christ, this place is a disaster.”

Gavin jumps at the unexpected voice, looks up to see a looming figure a few feet from him. There are camp lanterns set around the shed for light, giving off uneven lighting because they're old, battered things and Gavin thinks he can be excused for not realizing who he's talking to at first.

“I didn't realize I'd be having guests,” he says, tired and exhausted after days of this. Stuck in the middle of nowhere and an employer who expects him to work miracles with the shitty equipment he's been handed. “Otherwise I'd have taken the time to tidy up a bit.”

There's a pause, long enough for Gavin's brain to catch up. Realize what he's just done. Gone and mouthed off to this hulking brute whose face he can't make out in the dimness and a strange sort of stillness to him.

Remembers just how small the shed is, how the rain muffles sound. As if anyone down in the main hangar would come running if they heard noise out here. Too busy getting drunk or sampling their ill-gotten goods to even notice if something was amiss.

The figure snorts, something amused to it as they turn to look at Gavin.

Tall, dark, and menacing, Gavin's brain notes, and -

“Really?”

A black skull mask.

Some small part of him had thought that bit was a lie, some kind of embellishment to make the Vagabond seem more frightening than he is, but apparently not.

“What?”

There's a bit of a growl to the Vagabond's voice as he takes a step closer to Gavin who's just too tired to have it in him to be properly intimidated.

“Your damn mask,” Gavin says, hand making a circular motion in front of his own face. “Bit dramatic, isn't it?”

Tired and annoyed, since this was meant to be a short little job. Do a bit work and be back in the city in a week, week-and-a half at most, and here it's been nearly three. Complications and setbacks and unexpected delays, and now this.

His employers bringing in someone like the Vagabond Gavin assumes, but as the man continues to stare at him without saying a word, uncertainty starts to creep up.

The shed's a good distance from the main hangar, and with the rain coming down like it is, it would be difficult to hear much over the sound of it. Things like gunshots or yelling or anything, really, and the gun Gavin carries is in his equipment bag against the wall. The knife he uses more as a makeshift tool than a weapon is in another pocket of said bag, and he really should be better about keeping said things on his person instead, shouldn't he?

“You must be Gavin,” the Vagabond says after a long, long moment where Gavin contemplates going for his bag even though there's no way he could get to it in time given the man's reputation. “I was warned about you when they hired me.”

Gavin opens his mouth for some kind of comeback, and ends up sighing instead.

“Lovely,” he says, watching the Vagabond watching him, something definitely amused to the angle of his head as he looks Gavin over, sizes him up. “Wished they'd thought to tell me they'd hired you, though.”

Might have kept him from having a bit of a heart attack just now.

========

The Vagabond's quiet, hint of menace to nearly everything he does as though it's just the natural state of things for him.

The odd thing is that he usually finds his way to Gavin's little shed at the end of the day.

Makes sure things run smoothly with the small cargo planes that fly in and out, keeps everyone in line,  that kind of thing.

Doesn't seem to like to spend more time than necessary around the other hired muscle. Makes his way out to the shed and settles himself in the corner of the shed where someone set up folding chairs some time back. Old shaky things that are falling apart, but the Vagabond doesn't seem to mind.

He never actually speaks to Gavin, just gives a tip of his head in acknowledgment that he's there at all when he walks in and does his own thing.

The first few days of this he'd just sit there, staring at the wall of the shed for a bit before getting bored, or restless, and then he'd pull out a set of throwing knives. Play some kind of incomprehensible game that would have him making little noises of annoyance or satisfaction, given how well he was scoring that day.

The fifth day of that he starts poking around the shed and unearths a box of books someone's left behind and sits back to read.

Gavin hadn't known what to make of it at first. Wondered if he was there to keep an eye on Gavin, make sure he was doing his job. Monitoring the radio frequencies and making sure the computer network the smugglers were using out here were secure, among other things.

But as the days passed and the Vagabond steadily worked his way through romance novels and paperbacks with utterly bizarre artwork on the covers, he dismissed that notion. Decided the man was just bored, not interested in whatever the others got up to when their day was over.

And Gavin, he's finally face-to-face with this terrifying figure, local urban legend, and has no damn idea what to make of him.

All those stories and bits of gossip, information he managed to put together about this particular bogeyman and they don't seem to match up to the real thing. At least, not with what Gavin's seen of him this far.

��What do you think of ears?” Gavin asks one night, so tired he can't even read the words on his laptop, so he's given the whole thing up as a lost cause. Saved all his work and powered his laptop down, left it to charge.

Fiddles with his phone, thumb finding little dings and dents and scratches from him dropping it all the damn time.

The Vagabond looks up from his book and stares at Gavin.

“What?”

There's no growl to his voice now, just confusion, and that's another thing.

For the most part the man stalks around the place like some kind of big cat, quiet and even more menacing for it. Doesn't seem to talk when it's not necessary, more content to let his reputation preceded him and let the others scurry to obey when he does speak.

But then he comes out here and settles himself in his usual spot in the corner and reads like someone walking into a little coffee place somewhere. Picks out a book and sits himself down to read like it's commonplace.

“Ears,” Gavin says, pushing on even though some small part of him is demanding to know what the hell he thinks he's doing. “What do you think about them?”

The Vagabond cocks his head, actually thinking about it for a moment before he shrugs and says, “They're nice?”

That doesn't answer the question as to whether or not he has some kind of grotesque souvenir collection of ears and – Gavin almost gags thinking about it – damn toes, now does it.

Makes it seem less likely though, because someone who'd do a thing like that, they'd probably be  excited at someone asking about it, wouldn't they? Finally found someone who might share the same interest, hobby, and talk about it for ages with them?

“I suppose,” Gavin says, not really sure what else to say because really. Ears are just sort of there, aren't they.

For a moment it  looks like the Vagabonds about to say something, maybe volunteer the information that he does, in fact, have an ear collection somewhere, or ask if Gavin's lost his damn mind, but no.

The man shrugs and goes back to his book and Gavin's left with awkward silence and more questions than answers, which seems to be the norm when it comes to the Vagabond.

========

Week four of Gavin's extended stay in the picturesque mountains around Los Santos and he's losing his damn mind.

His employers have promised him that it's only for a few days more, and his part of things here will be finished. He'll be glad to see the last of this place, leaky roof and dirty floors and all, but there's the little matter of his frequent guest.

The Vagabond has finished every last book in the stash he discovered and turned to sharpening his knives, an alarmingly large collection of the things. Things from fixed-blade combat knives to a set of throwing knives and everything in between. Seems especially fond of a wicked looking knife with a curved blade.

Catches Gavin looking on and smirks – must do, for it to be so evident in his voice when he speaks.

“For slittin' bellies open,” he says bit of accent sneaking in as he tucks the knife away in the booth sheath he's been carrying it in. “Old favorite of mine.”

Gavin takes a sip of his coffee, long gone cold and bitter and the only thing keeping him from embarrassing himself too badly at the moment at the enthusiasm in the man's voice.

Clears his throat delicately because the damn Vagabond is still watching him. Likely hoping for a reaction of some sort because it seems he loves trying to get one out of Gavin.

“Lovely,” he says, and tries not to think about just how many bellies it has slit open, or why something like that would be the man's favorite.

The Vagabond huffs out something close to a laugh and turns back to his knives.

Gavin, coffee held in his hands and computer at his elbow watches the Vagabond. Odd man, clearly fond of his little theatrics, what with the mask and the way he talks. Carefully crafted to add to his reputation, and that is very interesting indeed, isn't it?

========

Week five with a handful of lies from his employers and things turn to shit.

Gavin wakes up to a hand over his mouth and that damnable skull mask above him, blood freezing in his veins because -

“Keep your voice down,” the Vagabond says, voice barely more than a whisper. “The Feds are here.”

Gavin blinks up at him, sleep-fogged mind unable to make sense of the words, and then he hears yelling and what he recognizes as gunfire faintly in the distance.

He nods then, and the Vagabond studies him for a moment before removing his hand. Takes a few steps back as Gavin sits up, searching for his shoes and pulling his jacket on. Watches Gavin sweep his equipment into his bag.

They slip outside, keeping to the shadows as they move away from the shack and stick to the cover the trees provide. He catches glimpse of figures rounding up the hired muscle.

“There's a hiking trail a mile in that direction,” the Vagabond says, leaning close to keep his voice from carrying. “We can follow it down the mountain to a road and make our way back to Los Santos.”

Gavin tips his head towards the airstrip and the agents searching the area, floodlights illuminating the area. There are a few K-9 units, and as they watch see one bolt into the woods at the back of the airstrip to drag one of the hired goons into the range of the lights.

“...If we don't get caught,” the Vagabond amends.

Crossing a mile of unknown terrain in the dark with agents searching the area along with K-9 units?

That's not the best plan out there, really.

Gavin rolls his eyes and points to one of the smaller hangars at the back of the air strip. Dangerously close to where the agents are setting up some kind command post while they lock the airstrip and surrounding area down, doable if they're careful about things.

There's an old Cuban inside the hangar waiting on repairs. She'll fly, but not too far. Definitely won't make it to Los Santos, but they should be able to make  it out of the search area the agents have set up. Should be a pair of parachutes in it they can use if she goes down before they can reach  a decent landing site.

Not the best plan out there either, but the odds are slightly better in their favor. (Very, very slightly.)

“You can fly that thing?”

Gavin nods because Dan may have gotten his planes and a lifelong dream, but he's still Dan, isn't he. Lovable buffoon with the kind of undying loyalty that's rare enough to find these days.

Saw the kind of life Gavin was setting himself up for and was determined to do what he could to make sure Gavin was prepared for whatever he'd run into without Dan around to watch his back.

He didn't teach Gavin how to shoot, no, but he damn well made sure Gavin can shoot well. Hit what he aims for and better besides with what he learned in the military. Taught him how to fight – or, well. Taught him how do well enough for himself if he ever got into a tight corner because Gavin hadn't exactly been keen on that bit.

Buckled down and at least listened when Dan turned to him, smile on his face and worry in his heart and an exasperated “Look, do this for me, all right? Can't bloody well be watching over you the way I used to, give me this much at least, you idiot.”

And when Dan came to see him after Gavin made the move to Los Santos, weeks of leave saved up, he went and called in a few favors of his own. Took Gavin up in one of his planes, and gave him a taste of what it was like to have the sky wide and open and so damn gorgeous it was no wonder why Dan had chased after it for so long.

When they were back down on the ground, took him over to a little single-engine plane and taught him how to get there on his own, so yes.

He can damn well fly the bloody Cuban.

“It's pretty simple, isn't it?” Gavin asks. “Just don't hit the ground and all.”

The Vagabond stares at Gavin as though he's trying to decide how much of an asshole Gavin's being at the moment, and sighs.

“I mean,” he says, watching a pair of agents walk past a few feet away. “You're not wrong.”

========

Their escape, such as it is, doesn't exactly go smoothly.

One of the K-9 units notices them, and it's a panicked run to the hangar with the Vagabond popping off shots to keep the agents off them. Manages well enough until they send in one of the dogs and the damn thing glances the Vagabond's leg just as they reach the plane.

From there it's running a bit of a gauntlet, bullets pinging off the Cuban's fuselage as they take off, one engine smoking slightly.

The Vagabond's using strips of his shirt to wrap up the bite on his leg. Literal bloody mess, but he keeps insisting it could have been worse. That the dog barely even touched him, which is very clearly a lie, isn't it.

Gavin's watching the great big idiot from the corner of his eye.

The man's abandoned his mask, said it wasn't great for night operations like this and to Gavin's disbelief he's been wearing face paint under it all this time. Disconcerting pattern, because of course it is.

One of the agents got incredibly lucky and managed to clip the fuel line, which means they won't be reaching the highway at this rate. Can try for one of the smaller roads along the way, but there's not enough clearance for the Cuban's wingspan which would result in a potentially ugly little crash, or  they could find a good spot to jump out, hope that whoever packed the parachutes knew what they were doing.

“How far away are we from the lake?”

At a guess, they're five, maybe ten minutes out, which – of course – is when the Cuban's one working engine sputters and dies.

“I'm starting to think your plan may have been a better idea,” Gavin says, smiling a little as the Vagabond laughs at the way their luck's been going tonight.

“I don't know about that,” he says, leaning back in his seat as Gavin coaxes the Cuban into keeping them in the air a little bit longer. “I mean, this one's been working out so well for us.”

========

The Vagabond's a heavy bastard.

Only a few inches on Gavin when it comes to height, but he outweighs Gavin a good bit between muscle and however many weapons he had hidden on his person at any given time.

Still -

“Might want to consider a diet when we get back to the city,” Gavin says, leaning down to help the Vagabond over the rockfall they've encountered.

Boulders and other bits and pieces blocking the trail they've been following. No other way around it and the Vagabond hindered by his dog-bite leg.

“I'm not fat,” the Vagabond hisses, glaring at Gavin as he hauls himself up. “Also, shut up.”

Gavin bites his lip, moving aside to give the man room while he checks the makeshift bandaged on his leg.

Dawn's a little way off, they're almost to the closest road and so far there haven't been signs of pursuit.

“We might actually get out of this,” the Vagabond says, sound a bit as thought he honestly didn't expect them to after all their little setbacks.

Gavin snorts, shooting him an amused look.

Not quite so scary now after watching him flounder through the underbrush the first mile of their trek back to civilization. Before he finally gave up on whatever bit of idiotic pride kept insisting he could manage on his own, no need for Gavin's help at all, really.

========

Gavin's the one to flag down a passing car. Seems the lesser threat between the two of them, and still half a dozen cars go by before someone actually stops.

No Good Samaritan, though, the way the big burly lumberjack hopeful leers at Gavin, eyes raking over him in a distinctly unnerving manner.

“Why hello there,” the man says, wide smile and this look to him Gavin recognizes as he steps out of the cab of his truck and moves towards him.

Gavin backs up a step, two, keeping careful distance between them until he sees the Vagabond slip out of the trees beside the road. Gun in his hands as he crosses behind the truck and calmly presses the barrel of his gun against the man's spine.

“We're going to borrow your truck for a bit,” he says, nice and pleasant and still somehow terrifying. “You want to live, don't give us trouble.”

The man's face clouds over, dark and ugly and Gavin keeps an eye on him as he moves around the two of them to get to the truck. He watches through the windshield as the Vagabond leans in to say something to the man that has him flinching hard.

Sees the hesitation before the Vagabond gives the man a shove towards the side of the road, backing away until he's even with the truck and hop into the driver's seat.

They leave the man behind in a cloud of dust, the Vagabond's knuckles bleeding white on the steering wheel.

“Well,” Gavin says with forced cheer. “That went well, didn't it?”

========

They part ways at a little gas station on the south side of the city.

The Vagabond eyes Gavin, as though he's not sure if he should be left to his own devices in this part of town.

“You're sure you're going to be all right here?” he asks, eyes taking in the people loitering in front of various stores, yelling coming from somewhere off to their right. “I can drop you off somewhere else.”

Gavin shakes his head and looks around. The neighborhood's changed a bit since he's been here last, but  he recognizes the faces he sees.

Knows he's safe enough here, that it's smart not to let someone like the Vagabond know where he calls home, because this is Los Santos and you just never know.

“I'll be fine,” Gavin says, mouth twitching into a smile at the skeptical look he gets for that. “No need to worry.”

========

Gavin takes a few jobs here, a few jobs there.

Works with different crews around the city and goes back to keeping tabs on Michael. On Ray, and after the man saves his life, the little one with the terrible fashion sense because Los Santos is a dangerous place and Gavin's a bit of an idiot.

He hears about a new crew on the rise here in the city, headed by someone with powerful connections and the kind of ambition that gets people like him killed if they're not careful.

Makes a little mental note to avoid getting involved because it's bound to be the kind of trouble that won't end well for him.

========

“I'm going to ask you one last time,” the thug says as he looms over Gavin with a bit of metal in his hand.

A knife, Gavin knows. His own blood on the blade and everything seems to hurt and overall it's not been a good day for him.

There's water dripping from a broken pipe. Yellowed ceiling tiles and this little spot Gavin's been staring at for a while now, neck aching, but it's better than looking down at the floor.

Blood and vomit and ruined shoes, and honestly, not a good day at all.

A hand in his hair and Gavin goes along with it when the bastard turns his head to look at him. Sees his lumpy face and many times broken nose, that scar winding its way across one cheek and down to vanish under the neck of his shirt.

Cruel eyes and a sneer on his face as he leans in.

“Where are the files?”

Gavin blinks, hurting and tired and so very done with everything and says, “I don't know what you're on about.”

The thing is, and Gavin swallows down laughter that no doubt would come out a bit hysterical at this point, is that he honestly doesn't.

Had just been minding his business. Hands in his pockets because it's autumn in Los Santos and the air has a bit of a bite to it now, crisp and cold and sharp.

Decided it be the perfect time for him to sit down and sift through the recordings and bit of information he's been gathering for months.

And it had been going well, all things considered. A couple of weeks had gone by quietly enough before he got a craving for food from a little place that didn't deliver. Went out to grab some take-out humming some half-remembered song from the radio with his stomach growling gently.

Got a block, two away before a great beast of an SUV screeching to a stop in front of him at an intersection. Men bristling with weapons hopping out, and Gavin's fast, yes, but not fast enough and so he'd been brought here.

Dragged down into an old building that had seen better days and forced into a distressingly solid chair in this ugly little room. Bare light bulbs hanging from the ceiling and peeling wallpaper and warped floorboards that creak whenever the muscle behind him shifts his weight. When his interrogator circles around him, stops just out of view and looms.

The door opens and Gavin's interrogator sighs, disgusted with this mess of an idiot he's been dealing with for hours now. Releases his hold on Gavin's hair - and Gavin tries, he does - but his head is heavy and his chin comes to rest on his chest.

Hears his interrogator say, “He's not talking.”

Gavin waits, a beat, two, and whoever's come into the room grunts. Footsteps coming closer and Gavin sees boots enter his field of vision. Feels fingers on his jaw, head being raised to see a black skull mask.

“Leave him to me,” the Vagabond says, cold and impersonal, a professional. “I'll get what you want out of him.”

Gavin does laugh then, chokes a little on blood and spit and honestly this has been a shitty day all around. He catches a glimpse of his interrogator leaving – fleeing – the room leaving him alone with the Vagabond.

Far and away more terrifying than the man who'd settle himself in Gavin's workspace to read trashy novels day after day.

“Fancy meeting you here,” Gavin says as the Vagabond continues to stare at him. “Read any good books lately?”

For a long, long moment Gavin thinks he's finally pushed too far. Gotten ahead of himself with this menacing figure he's half been chasing after since he heard about him, interesting little enigma that he is, but then the Vagabond sighs.

Pulls his hand back and studies Gavin. Takes in his injuries, cuts and slices and other things along those lines and all of it meant to hurt. Push Gavin into talking, spilling everything he knows but hadn't worked to plan since Gavin has no idea what it is he's meant to know.

“No?” Gavin asks, wondering why it is he can't seem to shut the hell up, as the voice in the back of his head that sounds remarkably like Michael is yelling at him to do. “That's a shame.”

There's a fair bit of staring after that, sound of water dripping and voices beyond the room they're in. Words indistinct but tone clear, angry, irritated, and Gavin's been here for quite a while, hasn't he. Long enough for them to decide to bring in their last resort in the Vagabond.

A man with the kind of reputation that has people coming up with all sorts of rumors and stories about him, each one more terrifying than the last. Someone you never want to cross, to end up on the other side of a job on.

Someone you certainly don't want to annoy, especially when you're in the kind of situation Gavin's in,  and yet -

“You never shut up, do you?” the Vagabond asks, and Gavin's expecting it to be cold, mocking, considering the circumstance, but it comes out sounding more amused than anything else.

“I've been told it's a flaw of mine,” Gavin admits, because he has, time and again and yet -

The Vagabond pulls out a wicked looking knife.

Turns it this way and that, light catching on the blade and honestly, it makes for an excellent intimidation technique. Looming figure dressed the way he is with that damnable mask and the bloody knife, but Gavin's seen the man reading period romance novels for God's sake.

Remembers their little escapade with the Cuban, that long hike down the mountain and the drive back to Los Santos.

All those little moments in between, and some part of him wonders what happens now. (Because this is Los Santos, and you just never know, do you.)

The hallway outside this ugly little room has gone quiet, as though the goons and thugs and other undesirables have decided they have better places to be. That it wouldn't be wise to be lingering out there while the Vagabond sets to work.

And really, no one would dare interrupt the Vagabond when he's prying someone's secrets out of them, bloody and messy and so very thorough.

There's a long, long moment where Gavin wonders where that leaves him, and then the Vagabond sighs again.

“Don't make me regret this,” he says, and drops the damn knife on the floor between them.

Close enough that Gavin could, if he was so inclined, stretch out his leg and drag it closer. Could, if he had the time, find a way to get it into his hands and work at his binds. Find some way to escape or at the very least make a damn good attempt at one in any case. Odds stacked against him but Gavin's always been luckier than he should be.

The Vagabond looks Gavin in the eye and says, in the flattest tone possible, “Oops,” and looks the other way.

========

Gavin moves, and then he moves again, because paranoia is a thing in Los Santos and he's learned to listen when it creeps up on him.

Doesn't seem to help in the end, though, when the Vagabond comes calling a few months after their previous run-in.

“I need a hacker,” the man says, taking in the boxes pushed against the bare walls of Gavin's new place, something amused to his voice when he looks back at Gavin. “You happen to know where I could find one?”

Well now, Gavin thinks, mouth curving into a little smile. Isn't this interesting?

[dong-hyucks]

im alive!! sorry for going mia i forgot my tumblr password :( but congratulations on 1000 jade! you deserve it! for the prompt thing, daniel (Wanna One) 96 + soulmate au :)) - baby anon

Kang Daniel ; “I brought you an umbrella.” + Soulmate!AU

Prompts here.Masterlists

so, in this universe you have the first words you hear from your soulmate written on your wrist

but the universe hated you and gave you such a vague sentence

“thank you”

you grew to detest the words because it had lead to you being in many awkward situations

one time in middle school you thought you met your soulmate and asked the person out

you got rejected in front of everyone basically and he turned out to be your best friend’s soulmate

y i k e s

anyway

now you’re in college majoring in what you had been passionate in for the past few years

still soulmate-less

to be honest you didn’t have much hope in finding your soulmate

you didn’t really search for the person either

that’s practically how you went through most of your college years

studying, partying, et cetera. but never searching

your friends searched for your soulmate more than you did tbh

basically in your senior year you felt done with school (same lmao)

noticing how tired you were your friends invited you out

you agreed happily

not knowing they were still trying to find your soulmate for you

they brought you to a small cat cafe that had gone unnoticed by most

you thought it was nice because it was so close to your house

it was pretty empty but it was aesthetically pleasing inside

like there were cute cat decorations everywhere

not to mention the cats themselves

okay so

you and your friends kind of just sat at a table in the corner even tho no one else was there

the workers kind of didn’t see you until one of them went out to tend to the cats

“oh hi– i’m woojin, would you like to order anything?”

your friends being visibly disappointed when he started speaking

which caused woojin to mentally freak out bc he thought he said something bad

you had to reassure him that he didn’t because your friends were being sNAKES

basically you guys just ordered coffee and played with the cats while you waited

your friend took a sip of her coffee first and practically died

“thIs Is So GoOd???”

woojin laughed and said the owner’s son makes the coffee

he pointed over at a counter where you could see someone’s broad back

you didn’t really take notice

just played with the cats a lot, your drink kind of went cold

your favourite cats were peter and rooney (according to their collars)

when you and your friends were about to leave you made eye contact with the man behind the counter

you were kind of in awe

how?? can?? a?? person?? be?? so?? cute??

that was you

i mean same he has a cute bunny smile

anyway coincidence coincidence

you saw the same man in your morning class

apparently you had been classmates but never really noticed him because he sat on the other side of the class of you

you thought he was cute

saw him talking with his friends once, you’ve never heard a laugh so pUrE

so you brought your friends to the cafe like,, every weekend in hopes of seeing him

you thought he wasn’t your soulmate but hey a person can dream

your friends were determined to figure out if he was your soulmate

once they caught on to what you were doing they were the ones dragging you there

not just on the weekends but like everyday

the cafe’s workers weren’t complaining, more business for them

all was well except

the mystery man never came out from behind the counter

and he was always disappearing

like he was there one second

and then the next he’s gone?? he confused you

he was always asleep in class too so you couldn’t talk to him then

and when he wasn’t asleep he was already getting pulled out of class by his friends so that wasn’t an option

after like,,, two months of going to the cafe and making no progress

you kind of just gave up

your friends were disappointed but they didn’t say anything

so you guys just stopped going

and slowly you noticed the guy changing in class

like he’d be awake and alert unlike before

and he’d glance in your direction a lot

‘probably looking at someone else’ - you

this went on for another month

with you waving off his glances after catching him

him not really caring that he was caught

you still didn’t know his name smh

anyway

one day it kind of started raining when you were walking home

like not a lot so you didn’t bother covering yourself bc your house was pretty close to your college

on your way home you passed the cafe like always

this time you noticed someone crouching in the alley between the cafe and another building

lo and behold it was the mystery guy

what he was doing you had no clue

so you just kept walking

you noticed how the rain was getting heavier the closer you got to your house

you couldn’t help but feel worried

like ‘what if that guy gets sick staying in the rain’

you were a bit conflicted

‘he’s probably gone back inside, he’s not dumb’

‘then again i have seen him do some questionable things’

‘that doesn’t mean he’s stupid enough to stay out in the rain’

‘but what if’

you kept going back and forth with yourself until you realized how heavy the downpour had gotten

so you decided ‘screw it’ and grabbed an umbrella

you headed back to the cafe

shivering

when you reached the alley he was still there

and he had taken his jacket off and thrown it over a box

you refrained yourself from calling him an idiot out loud

instead you walked over and held the umbrella over his shaking form

he didn’t notice at first

but the lack of cold rain pelting at his increasingly numb skin got his attention after a few seconds

he looked up and almost jumped ten feet seeing you there

“i brought you an umbrella”

he looked shocked for a moment before smiling up at you

“thank you”

the whole soulmate thing wasn’t on your mind at the moment so you didn’t even bother checking what his wrist

“what are you doing out here anyway” you’d ask

without a word, he’d pull his jacket away from the box

revealing a litter of kittens

“my dad has a limit to how many cats we can have in the cafe, and we’ve already reached it so we can’t let these ones in”

he sounded so sad when he talked about it, a small frown on his face

“and my apartment doesn’t allow pets so there isn’t really anywhere for them to go”

his sadness eventually traveled to you

the kittens were looking up at you

you died a bit inside

“i can keep them” you offered

the guy looked up at you with complete adoration like ‘wowow what an angel’

the way he was looking at you made you flustered

like can you not man thanks

he stood up, gently taking the umbrella from your hands and placing it over the box

he quickly ushered you inside, “before you take them, i owe you a coffee”

so you both entered the cafe through the back door

soaked (even you, despite only being exposed to the rain for like two seconds)

woojin and another worker (jihoon) were shocked to see you

they practically threw some towels in your faces and forced you to sit down in the kitchen

they left to make you guys something warm to drink leaving you alone with him

it was kind of awkward, the atmosphere was slightly tense

you glanced over at him, only for him to be staring at you

it was just like you were back in class

“i’m daniel, by the way” he said with a smile

“[Y/N]”

he said something that kind of sounded like ‘i know’ but you weren’t sure

it was quiet for a bit

but then daniel suddenly chuckled in amusement

“what??”

without a word, daniel gently took your wrist and put it next to his

to your surprise, he had ‘i brought you an umbrella’ written atop his skin

you looked up and he was staring at you with a grin

“nice to meet you, soulmate”

okay so you started dating soon after that

not right after, but once you’ve had a couple of dates

you found out the reason why he kept sleeping in class

to take care of the stray kittens

he admitted that once you stopped going to the cafe he started looking for you a lot more

which explained the stares in class

daniel would be such a cheesy boyfriend istg

we all saw how he was on happy together lmao

he’s always complimenting you

you could literally be wearing a food-stained shirt and sweatpants and he’d find you the most attractive being on earth tbh

he always gets kind of flustered whenever you compliment him tho

like he’ll start giggling and he’ll have this small smile on his face

i’m dying imagining that omg daniel let me be loyal to woojin

i wouldn’t be surprised if you had your first kiss pretty early on

it’d be really casual too

like you were helping out around the cafe on one of its few busy days

and at the end of the day you guys were really tired because you had to run around a bit

one of the cats got out twice whoops

basically after locking the cafe you’d sit down at the corner table and just lean against each other

the other workers would be in the back getting ready to leave

daniel would kind of just turn to you and kiss you right there

“thanks for helping today,” he’d mumble, still really close to your face

for the rest of the night he’d have this giddy grin on his face

after that kissing would come often

small kisses, pecks on the cheek, on the forehead, et cetera.

you guys wouldn’t fight a lot either

it was rare, but it happens in every relationship

he’d walk away first, not wanting to say anything to upset you further

but later on he’d find you and you guys would just cuddle on his or your couch (or your bed, it doesn’t really matter where) and spend the next hour or so apologizing even if it was a small fight

which would lead to you guys cuddling for the next few hours talking idly about anything

you’d move in together some time after college

“it’s easier to pay rent together”

such a domestic couple tbh

lounging around the living room on your days off not doing anything

just eating and cuddling while watching some crappy show on netflix

that’s how most of your mornings went honestly

oh yes

did i mention daniel took over the cafe

after his father retired daniel got to own it

you, of course, helped him

he literally

i shit you not

changed the cafe’s schedule just so he could cuddle more with you in the mornings

“daniel what–”

“it’s not like anyone comes to the cafe at eight in the morning anyway”

also

wear his clothes

just do it

he will attack you with hugs and kisses e v e r y t i m e

because he feels so fluffy inside whenever you wear his hoodies or his shirts or anything really

let’s go back to the cheesy boyfriend bit

“i could come here with you forever”

“daniel we literally work here what are you talking about”

he’d literally close the cafe sometimes just so you could have mini dates inside with the cats

like no daniel stop that’s not good

but anyway

he’s fluffy

he teases you about you coming to the cafe every day just to see him

and you tease him for all the stupid things he does during the day tbh

overall you’d have a very cute relationship with daniel

💜💜💜

[noecat]

88 qn tag meme

thank u 2 the lovely @jiminieboi for tag!!

holy shit this was long,,listen i tag no one but my wife @wingjk bc im literally too lazy to breathe rn

the last:

1. DRINK: passionfruit red tea. it was too sweet i wish i’d gone w green but that’s too sour,,,,honestly a representation of my personality as a whole

2. PHONE CALL: school friend who was wondering where i was

3. TEXT MESSAGE: if messenger counts, @wingjk bc i was going to sleep

4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: come back home by bts

5. THE TIME YOU CRIED: i don’t recall!! perhaps a couple weeks ago?

have you:

6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: don’t call me out like this

7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: not really? i dont regret many things

8. BEEN CHEATED ON: ha

9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: yes

10. BEEN DEPRESSED: listen

11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: i don’t get drunk

top 3 favorite colors

12. black

13. pink

14. in your area

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: yes and i love them

16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE:  L I S T E N

17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: rarely, but yes!!

18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: yall. assholes. love to gossip. and i love finding out about it so it’s a mutually beneficial thing

19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: doesn’t everyone change me to some degree?? yes, though i do think a lot of the char dev ive undergone was internally motivated and not bc of a specific person,,,i just want to treat people better.

20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: yes and i Love Them

21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: ppft no who the fuck even facebooks in the year 2k17,,,tho,, @wingjk​ hmu ;(

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: none

23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: a kitten !! listen he’s an asshole but i love him

24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: as in legally?? i wish!! hopefully soon

25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU LAST BIRTHDAY: ha ha dont talk to me

26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: i overslept today bc my sleeping schedule is,,,,,very good,,,,,,,,,,,

27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: readin fanfic rip

28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: hobi. wheres. ur. mixtape. where. also MY BDAY IS IN LESS THAN A MONTH !!! LOVE ME !!!!!!

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: uhm yesterday

30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: listen,

31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: the sweet sound of everyone being loud as fuc

32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: i dont think so ??

33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: people breathing around me

lost questions

34. MOLE(S): ya

35. MARK(S): scars ?? i fell into a ditch once and i still have the scars from that,,also depression isnt ideal

36. CHILDHOOD DREAM: to be a lawyer

37. HAIR COLOR: brown but im gna bleach it someday

38. LONG OR SHORT HAIR:  short-ish

39. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: not romantically but i am currently interested in someone, yeees

40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: sometimes the planets alighn just right and i say something quotable that im proud of

41. PIERCINGS: that havent healed completely already ? 2, in my ears

42. BLOODTYPE: red

43. NICKNAME(S): q, ‘that asshole’, kyu

44. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: not looking

45. ZODIAC: leo

46. PRONOUNS: im agender. i strongly prefer it/its for Reasons but some of yall fucks take offense bc ‘but u are not an object!!’ and like. listen. if u think that using ‘they/them’, which i do not want to be called, is somehow more respectful to my identity ???  ? ?  ? i dont rly have much to say. in spaces where people are less tolerant and presentation overrides id, i go by she/hers.

47. FAVOURITE TV SHOW: i dont watch them anymore but ill always have a special spot in my heart for hannibal and my earliest experiences w bbc sherlock (ahahah can u believe i used to be a sh blog tho)

48. TATTOOS: not yet!! i want to get mine right the first time

49. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: technically ambidextrous but ive been using my right hand for so long (bc u dont rly realize how inconvenient literally everything is w left hand until u try it skdfjgfg) that it’s now my dominant one

50. SURGERY: yes, but minor

51. HAIR DYED A DIFFERENT COLOR: nop but ive shaved it all off once

52. SPORT: used to sail, used to kayak, now i possess no skills. i actually ish i did have a sport i play regularly, but, i am a Lazy Fuck,

53. VACATION: aksdjfd i dont rmbr !! i travelled a lot when i was young. now we just go to neighboring countries over breaks sometimes.

54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: not converse low, that’s 4 sure

MORE GENERAL

55. EATING: nothing, but hopefully about to

56. DRINKING: nothing, but hopefully about to

57. I’M ABOUT TO: eat, drink, go home

58. WAITING FOR: senpai to answer my anon ask. senpai pls. senpai im dying here i only get wifi sporadically for like 10 min at a time senpai plsease

59. WANT:  see hoseok irl someday, to not fail my year end exams, to have a good future after this. if we’re going wildly unrealistic, give me financial stability and the power to play piano proficiently.

60. GET MARRIED: honestly i think this would depend on where i am in life, where my partner(s) is/are in life, and what we want out of our relationship (plus, my generation supposedly killed marriage, so)

61. CAREER: listen i used to want to be a lawyer real bad before i grew up and realized im a fuckign depressed idiot who cant do shit so now im just hoping for some kind of stable job that i wont hate,,,,,,i lean towards the social sciences, and they’re what im best at, but my fucking dumb ass is currenly taking natural sciences instead because ????? no fuckin clue, past me, what the fuck,

62. HUGS OR KISSES: i dont like hugs much, so kisses. though i do like to cuddle ??? i think ??? theoretically ???? normally i just dont let ppl touch me

63. LIPS OR EYES: lips

64. SHORTER OR TALLER: couldn’t care less but theres smth hot abt someone being taller than me (unrelated news kuroo is 187cm holy shit fuck T O W E R O V E R M E)

65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: as in ?? romantically ?? to be friends with ?? if it’s the former, almost definitely older. for the latter, i prefer older, but personality matters more than age does.

66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: dont care. tho if u have arms that could snap my neck, 

67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: as in me ?? listen im both. im both. but if we’re talking partners, i imagine kuroo is plenty loud, so that,

68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: listen i dont care as long as it’s enjoyable and mutually beneficial

69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: hm

have your ever:

70. KISSED A STRANGER: nop

71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: nop

72. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: yes, but found them

73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: ya!!

74. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: nop

75. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: not intentionally ??

76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: : l i s t e n

77. BEEN ARRESTED: nop im a good upstanding citizen

78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: as in irl ?? i dont think so

79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: hm, no, i,

do you believe in:

80. YOURSELF:  ya im great. im a piece of shit but *insert trash can not trash cannot meme*

81. MIRACLES: nah

82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: nah

83. SANTA CLAUS: nah. attraction, maybe

84. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: do what u want !! 

85. ANGELS: @wingjk is one so i can confirm

86. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME(S): van, iv, jess are u a best friend or am i reading u wrong, id say drea but she’s my soulmate, id say nastya but she’s my wife and will complain i friendzoned her

other

87. EYE COLOUR: greenish

88. FAVOURITE MOVIE: casino royale !!! also all the ghibli things were my childhood

[free-karasuno-blog]

Hello there! I'm sorry if I'm bothering you at this hour (it's now around 1AM where I live -u-), but may I request Nishinoya meeting his soulmate with one AU of your choice? Thank you very very much, Zee-npai!

Hi my love! I am so so so so sorry for how long you had to wait for me to write your request! I remember reading it and being super excited to write it as well as being hella touched by the fact that you called me zee-npai!! I really hope you get to see this and if you do I hope you enjoy it! And I just hope you can forgive me for it taking so long. Love you!

-Zee

______________

In this AU whenever a person dyes their hair, the soulmates hair is dyed the same color. Hair can only be dyed once a day, no matter which soulmate does it. When soulmates meet they are finally able to color their hair without affecting the other. The benefits of this AU are also that hair is not easily damaged despite how many times it is colored.

______________

You rubbed the sleep from your eyes as you approached the bathroom sink where you would begin your morning routine. As your eyes found the mirror you couldn’t help but groan in frustration at the two blonde streaks going down the front section of your middle part. Once again your soulmate had colored his hair in the same manner, leaving you with an awkward dye job. You had won the battle yesterday, your hair a uniform black as it always had been, but today was a different story. 

Ever since last year, you and whoever was at the other end of this soulmate thing were fighting for dominance over your hair color. Every other day you were able to have the hair you wanted, but that only meant that he got his way the other half of the time. You cursed at your soulmate’s need to bleach that one spot on his head. 

Why couldn’t he just leave it how it was? You thought to yourself every morning that you woke up with the horrible streaks. It may not look bad on him, but for you it was completely ill fitting. The bleach blonde stood out against your long dark hair, with a harshness to it that could only look good on a certain person. Unfortunately you had no choice but to deal with your poorly colored hair for the day, so you brushed it out and straightened it hoping that it wouldn’t look too bad.

~

After school you found yourself at the store looking for the same box of hair dye you bought every month. As you browsed the isle a bright pink box caught your eye and a mischievous smile creeped onto your face. You hesitated for a moment, thinking of ruining your own hair was really worth it. It was.

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. You thought as you reached for the new box of hair dye as well as a bleaching kit from the shelf above it. 

The last hours of your day were spent in your bathroom as you first bleached, then colored your hair with the hot pink dye you had bought. It was easily the most unconventional color change that either of you had made to your hair yet. The color may not have been your favorite but you could deal with it if it meant getting a point across to him. You were quite pleased with yourself, hoping that the pink hair would scare your soulmate into going back to the natural black hair you both had.

~

The next morning Noya woke up anticipating that his blonde tuft of hair would be back to its natural color for another day, but what he hadn’t planned for was the bright pink hue that you had chosen the night before. When Noya noticed the new color of his hair a scream escaped from his parted lips. For the first time in his life the libero hated the soulmate system. Normally he didn’t mind having to rebleach his hair every other night, but this was more than a minor inconvenience. The bright pink stood out greatly from the Karasuno uniform, only making Nishinoya wish he hadn’t started this hair war to begin with. Unfortunately the damage was already done, and plots of revenge were beginning to run through the boy’s mind. If his soulmate wanted to play dirty, then he would play dirty.

~

For the next couple of weeks you found yourself in a new kind of battle with your soulmate. You were both still fighting for control over your hair colors, but this time it was a lot more unconventional. Your hair would go from a vibrant blue to a mint green and then a bright orange within the span of three day. Currently you were sporting a neon green that your soulmate kindly picked out for the two of you. It had become a new normal for you to walk around with unnaturally colored hair, but that didn’t mean you liked it.

As you stood in the middle of the subway station you felt multiple pairs of eyes on you, something that you had gotten used to in the past couple of weeks. As you waited for your train your eyes explored the environment, observing those around you. Most people stood, some watching their phone screens and others having small conversations together. You looked towards the turn styles where people made their way in and out of the station. As you turned back to look at your own phone you briefly caught sight of a green head of hair. You felt your heart rate begin to speed up as a pair of boys around your age made their way into the train station, the taller of the two had a buzzed head and was laughing at something that your presumed soulmate had said. If the hair hadn’t given it away then the feeling you had in your core did, just as your body knows to breathe, you knew he was your soulmate. Your feet began to move before you had even realized it, another reflex that you didn’t have to think about.

From Noya’s end you were hard to miss, a green headed girl bobbing towards him and Tanaka was something that they couldn’t ignore. You stopped about two feet away from him, the smirk on your lips matching his.

“So you’re the one who’s made me hate my hair for a year straight,” you teased. The indirect interactions that you two shared in the past couple of weeks enough to eliminate any trace of awkward tension. 

“And you’re the girl who turned my head pink without any warning,” he loosely copied you, “I’m Nishinoya Yuu, your soulmate.” The libero extending a hand towards you, waiting for your response. 

“I’m (y/f/n), it’s nice to finally meet you.” You giggled, dropping the slightly cold persona you had greeted him with. A soft hint of blush made it’s way onto Nishinoya’s cheeks, something you pretended not to notice. 

You both stood in a comfortable silence, taking in each others presence and coming to terms with the fact that you had finally met. Nishinoya was first to break the silence, wanting to make sure that you would still be his despite the dye war you two had partaken in.

“We should go get our hair back to normal so that I can take you out to dinner; I want to get to know you without anyone else around.” Noya offered, nudging Tanaka before turning his attention back to you. 

A smile was plastered on your face as you and Noya exchanged information, the excitement of finding your soulmate–and regaining control of your hair–over taking you.

[amoretheiwa]

Hi!

So recently, in the past couple of weeks/months, I’ve gotten quite a few new followers. This is my introduction to y’all and way of saying hi.

My name is Sarah, and I am currently 19 (I’ll be 20 come June but I’ll be getting to that)

I love writing! It’s a passion of mine and I hope to someday commit to one story and put it out there for everyone to read. In the meantime, I write fanfiction. I am a part of many fandoms and so you’ll randomly get content from each occasionally but the only things I consistently post/reblog are DC (specifically Batfamily) and RWBY. If you followed me for my writing I’m sorry about the lack of updates--I have less than 2.5 weeks left of this semester and then I’ll be back at it. 

I am Mormon/LDS. If you have any questions feel free to ask but my blog is a hate free blog. I myself am bi and just came out like yesterday, to 5 people and everyone here on tumblr, so if you have questions there you should also feel free to ask! I go to BYU-Idaho and am an English major with a minor in Communications (my emphasis’ are Professional Writing and Communication Management)

I love getting messages, whether its from mutuals needing to gush about a show/game/fandom or anon’s with prompts or questions. Literally, nothing except for hate will bother me. I am a needy lonely creator who wants more friends.

BUT

I made the decision over a year ago to serve a mission for my church, which means that for 18ish months (give or take a few weeks) I will have no access to tumblr or any other form of social media. Serving an LDS mission is a 24/7 thing that for sisters lasts 18 months. I was called to Eugene Oregon and report May 17th. I can’t guarantee to be back on tumblr till at least January 2019, so any messages I receive in that 18-month gap won’t get answered for a long time if at all. 

Fandoms:

Seirei no Moribito

Red vs Blue

Mass Effect

Halo

DC (mainly Batfamily and all animated content)

Marvel (really on a Cap and AOS fan)

Harry Potter

Spiderwick Chronicles

Lord of the Rings

Star Wars

Star Trek

Final Fantasy

Supernatural

Sherlock

Chopped (ITS A THING)

RWBY

Voltron LD

Pacific Rim

Jane Austen (ANYTHING Austen, I’ve read Pride & Prejudice over 30 times)

Kaichou wa Maid Sama!

Oban Star Racers

W.I.T.C.H.

Kim Possible

Danny Phantom

Redwall (anything written by Brian Jacques)

Fablehaven

and that’s to just name a few. I do ship Superbat and am currently writing a long-fic with a genderbent Bruce Wayne but I’m not sure I’ll finish it before my mission.

Ships/OTPs:

Superbat (Batman+Superman)

Destiel (Dean Winchester+Castiel)

Ironwitch (James Ironwood+Glynda Goodwitch)

CapHill (Steve Rogers+Maria Hill)

Qrowin (Qrow Branwen+Winter Schnee)

the love square that is Miraculous Ladybug

Shidge

I think that’s it? If you ever want to message me privately just specify that in the message otherwise, I’ll assume I’m good to post it. 

That’s me!