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hartsmusings · 1 year

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Op from a long since deactivated roleplay Twitter account with Taylor Momsen as a faceclaim

Backstory

Kaira De'Medici-Napier

@HybridNapier

Kaira’s parents aren't your typical love story… in fact it wasnt a love story at all … more like a once in a while thing between a psych nurse and a psychotic patient .

Mercy Medici, kaira’s mother, was fresh out of New Orleans finest nursing school. Her friends and family were all born and raised in and around new orleans bayou, and had a long line of family secrets, and she had wanted out of there since she was a child, so she wouldn't end up howling at the moon like the rest of her family, so when her fellow nurse friends got her a job at Arkham asylum up in gotham, thinking it would help “spice up” her resume before she moved on to gotham general, she hopped on the first buss out of there.

On her first set of rounds is when she meets Jack Napier , also known as “the joker” on his what seemed like billionth incarceration into Arkham. His charm and wit drew mercy in like a moth to a flame...on more than one occasion.

To Mercy, it was the best sex she had ever expereanced, due to the fact the it was expressly forbidden for staff and patients to...well...fuck . dodging cameras, stealing keys, helping Jack escape …. Until the day Mercy discovered that she...in fact..was pregnant.

A handful of pregnancy tests , a blood test and a fluttering heartbeat on an ultrasound later, it was confirmed. Mercy confronted Jack with the news, and he was more than ecstatic. that night…..he escaped again with Mercy’s help, saying he would return for her later that week….but he never did.

The pregnancy was a difficult one with Mercy working every day in the asylum...she’d see Jack every now and then when Batman threw him in the asylum, but it was like he didn't even know her.

(9 months later)

Mercy’s depression had gotten so bad, even after talking with the asylum's newest therapist ...Mercy told them everything, even who the father of the baby was, but being around Jack and in the asylum took a toll on her mind and body.

It was during a therapy session that her water broke, and oh boy was I coming in hot….feet first

With no time to get to the hospital, the doctors and nurses performed an emergency cesarean. Mercy was screaming and moaning the whole time due to no epidural...a nurse slapped a breathing mask on mercy, filled with laughing gas (nitrous-oxide) to try and help with the pain, but mercy had a bad reaction to the gas and died on the table as they pulled little me out of the hole they had sliced open in mercy’s stomach.

I came into this world streaming and covered in my mothers blood… They named me Kaira ( meaning beloved friend ) and smudged some paperwork to say I died in the process , just in case Jack ever came looking for me, and sent me to the Gotham orphanage with the name in my file Kaira Anna Smith, i wouldnt find out till years later … where I came from and who I was...

( 17 years and 11 months later )

Gotham City Orphanage

“ KAIRA ANNA “

The headmaster called out for what seemed like the hundredth time today, a slather of green paint across his backside from sitting in the puddle of it...The paint now dripping down the legs of his chair.

The clatter of a paint can along with a painful grunt could be heard in the hallway , a child like laughter faded into a slur of curse words as one of the teachers in the orphanage dragged Kaira in to the headmasters office by her neck, a pained expression on their face and their slight limp showed that Kaira had punched them in the groin to try and get away.

Kaira went to get up but the teacher pushed her back down into the chair by her shoulder.

“ you wouldn't happen to know who did this….would you?” motioning to the green paint now on the floor, a smirk appeared on kaira’s face as she went to laugh but quickly looked down when she saw how red the headmaster’s face was.

“ very...festive headmaster….“ Kaira softly chuckled and the headmaster's face went from peeved to pissed off red.

“ it’s always something with you , isn't it...well i think this time...i'm out of options kaira”

Opening the filing cabinet and pulling out her file, it looked more like a book with all the pranks and injuries she had caused over the years, slamming it down on the desk and adding today's incident to the pile.

“ I've already called the asylum…”

Kaira had only heard the stories about that place.

“ you what…” the teacher pushed her back down into the chair as she tried to get up again, this time planting their hands on both her shoulders

“ please, don't send me there...please “

“ you have given me no choice Kaira...im sorry it has to come to this but we can't risk the safety of the other children any longer, at least it's better the throwing you out on the streets in a month ” his gaze traveled to the monitors on one wall, the fuzzy blue lit screen showed a white van pulling up to the back of the orphanage “ you'll at least have a roof over your head”

The white clad men from the van came into the building and straight to the office .

Kaira tried to run but they grabbed her by her arms , injected her with a tranquilizer to knock her out and moved her to the van without anyone seeing them…

( a few months later )

Kaira pounded on the tempered glass wall of her cell

“ You can't keep me here mother fuckers “ she yelled at the camera pointed at her cell, flipping it off.

“ oh yes they can my dear...and they will do alot worse if you dont shut your fucking mouth “ a mans voice chuckled from across the way. A pale faced ,green haired man leaned up against the glass of his cell and smiled “ you look familiar, have we met before? '' gazing at her, with the image of mercy in his head.

By the time jack had returned to the asylum, he was told by the head doctor there that mercy had died along with the child, Mercy's cremated remains were sent to her family back in new orleans, he slumped into a deep depression cuz he had developed feelings for this nurse….these are in the days before harleen…the child mercy had been carrying was his hope at a better future….this girl across from him now, had Mercy's eyes...had the doctors lied to him all those years ago?

Kaira glared at the man across from her, she knew who the joker was, but seeing him this close was frighting, his menacing grin had her taking a step back in her own cell, even though there were 4 panes of tempered glass and a walkway between them...for now.

A buzz rang through the lockup area of the asylum and the cell doors opened as armed guards walked by

“Dinner time freaks”

Jack slicked behind her in the cafeteria line

“ What's your name child?” he whispered, even from behind she looked like mercy.

“ Leave me alone joker, i don't care to know the monster who killed my mother” kaira sneered as she grabbed a tray of food and made her way to the far back corner of the small cafeteria , sitting on the floor with her back to the wall.

Jack made his way over to her “what do you mean i killed her? I was told she died in childbirth...along with...wait a minute...how old are you?”

“ 18 last month “ shoving a slice of bread dipped in applesauce into her mouth.

“Kaira…” Jack slid down the wall to sit beside her “ your mother’s name was mercy..…she died bringing you into this world...i was told you died with her….you have her eyes”

This was out of character for Jack, the stories kaira was told and heard painted him out to be a ruthless mad man, not this...wannabe-father figure sitting next to her.

“ What's it to you old man?” she was cold to him, not expecting what came next, he scribbled something on a piece of paper and slid it to her…

“ open that later “ he jumped up, visibly upset, and walked away through the crowded cafeteria .

After returning to her cell she unfolded the note, on the note was four words

“I aM YOUr FaTher”

Over the next few years, kaira and jack became close, even escaped together a few times, causing turmoil and chaos throughout gotham…as a father and daughter crime family, the clown king and the clown princess of crime… kaira had finally found her family

It was nearing her 21st birthday when her father met the incomparable miss quinzell...and well we all know how that sickening gag inducing story went….and once again Kaira was left behind…again

Her and Quinn never got along at the asylum, quinn would try and keep kaira away from her father… outside the asylum, when Kaira was out and her father was still inside, Harleenkicked kaira out of the place her and her father had made their own, down in the docks of Gotham city...so she found her own hidden spot, far from the kissy faces and the sex noises….kaira did not need to the “ whos your daddy” coming from her own father… *audibly gags*

It was a bit of slink down a few allies ways, a hop skip and a jump over a few docks and a short climb up a sketchy fire escape and thru a broken widow and down a hallway thru a door in to a semi livable studio apartment , that she paid for by doing repairs round the building for the landlord, as a thank you for helping in many escapes from the asylum.

A kitchen in one corner and her bed was behind a pull away curtain in the other corner...her own little place, but it wasn't enough...she needed to get out of gotham…

So she grabbed an old worn duffle from her closet, tossing it on her bed, she threw in a few set of clothes in to it, her toothbrush and a locket with her mother's picture inside...borrowing some cash from her neighbor, kaira hopped a bus to the farthest place she could think of...new orleans.

Sliding out of the broken window for the last time, kaira made her way to the bus station in the middle of downtown, and as she slid on to the outbound bus she felt like she could finally breathe… closing her eyes for a little while, since it was gonna be a long, long night.

( the next evening - new orleans buss depot )

“NOW ARRIVING IN NEW ORLEANS '' the mechanical voice rang out, pulling kaira from a dreamless sleep, stretching her arms up and letting out a yawn, she got up from her seat and grabbed her bag from the overhead bin.

New orleans was in the mist of one of its many holidays, because no matter what day it was, the following night was packing bourbon street with as many patrons as possible, getting blackout drunk at anyone of its many bars and diners, as people flashed each other for dollar store plastic beads.

Kaira snuck into an alleyway that was dimly lit, into what seemed to be an abandoned courtyard, with overhead wrap around balconies, she could smell pastries cooking and followed the smell to a little kitchen, where the cook was pulling a fresh batch of beignets out of the oven. Kaira peeked in just as they were sprinkling powdered sugar over them. She looked quite disheveled and homeless with her bag over her shoulder, and the cook noticed her in the doorway.

“ oh my cher, come her’ child and warm up by the stove “ they motion to a chair by the stove “ let aunty bring ya’ some fresh Beignets “kairas bag was whisked out of her hands , dropped by her feet and replaced with a plate of steaming hot beignets smothered in brown butter and powdered sugar “ eat up child, you gave me quite a fright, but aunty always has extras for those who need a full belly”

Taking her first bite, kairas face smoothed into one of joy , she had never had a beighet before, these were so delicious.

“ thank you” she said , with a full mouth “ these are… so...good”

The cook nodded as they whisked away the rest of the food to the patrons out front, kaira stuffed another one in her mouth, dusting off the powdered sugar from her white top and reaching for the glass of milk the cook had placed near her..overreaching and ending up knocking it over on to the floor as the cook came back in.

“ shit, im sorry...let me help with tha…” kaira leaned down on to the floor to help pick up and then cut her hand on the broken glass “ouch, fuck that stings” the thin line of ruby red blood formed on her palm as the next thing she knew , something had pushed her out of the way and pinned her up agenist the wall and was growling in her ear, her eyes were closed tight in fear.

“ open your eyes '' a gravely english accented ordered, kaira breath quickened as she opened her eyes to a pair of deep blue eyes staring back at her “ calm your breathing” he ordered as a calmness washed over her “ now don't move or scream '' Kaira nodded softly, what was happening to her? Why couldn't she move? Why couldn't she look away from the man before her? The blood from her palm made a stain on her pant leg as she left his hot breath on her neck, he bit down as she passed out from fear.

The next thing she knew she was in the courtyard again, this time she was on one of the many old style beaches … kaira heard voices around her, conversing on what to do with her..

“ you never let me have any fun klaus “ a female voice pouted

“ we could just compel her away “ a studious proper sounding voice spoke next

“ i think we are being listened to “ the first gravely english voice said

Kaira held her breath, she felt a woosh of cold air then the man from before was seated next to her with his hand upon her throat, turning it to reveal puncture wounds .

“ i don't believe she is from around here Nicklaus “ the proper one said

“ i'm not ” kaira managed to choke out His grip tighten on her throat

“ I was thinking of turning her “ the man with his hand on her throat said “ I just wanted to see what you two thought of her before I did.

“ she is quite beautiful” the female said

“ and you could use the new plaything rebecka “ the prober one said

“ it's settled then” turning kairas eyes to his “ this is gonna hurt, just don't move or scream okay” kairas body went limp as he bit in to his own wrist and forced it into her mouth “ drink” he ordered as the blood from his wrist dripped onto her tongue. Kaira drank as ordered, what she didn't see coming was the female behind her, gripping her head on both sides and snapping her neck….

Was this death? Was this where she was gonna die? These questions and more swirled through her head as she collapsed on the ground, her huma life now over….a child of the night...a vampire life...was now beginning.

(nighttime ,basement of the mikaelson’s compound, a full day later)

Kaira woke up in a daze, in ...was this a coffin...was she dead? Kaira began to scream as she pounded on the lid, pushing it up, she heard it clatter to the ground…

“ Look who finally woke up” the man known as Klaus stepped out of the shadows, helping her out of the coffin. Kaira was still in a daze, her throat burned and she was so thirsty.

“ I bet you're thirsty aren't ya?” kaira nodded, her throat hurt too much to speak. Klaus led her over to a form nearby, it was the cook from last night, the one that had been so nice to her when she arrived in New Orleans. Kalus pulled the cooks arm up to kairas mouth, the smell of the blood was intoxicating and devine at the same time, sher bit down and let the rush of warm blood run down her throat, she drank so deeply in fact that kaira didn't realize that the cook’s heart had long since gave out and died...triggering something deep inside kaira...something primal..the pain of cracking bones had her screaming as she dropped the cooks arm. Throwing her head back as her shoulder blades and spine cracked and broke, changing her, the next thing she knew...kaira was howling. She wasn't the only wolf in the rook, Klaus was gone and in his place stood a large brown wolf with golden eyes, he kicked a blood bag over to her and she snapped it up with no second thought.

The basement had a tunnel that led out to the bayou, she followed klaus down the tunnel and as soon as the cold night air blew through her brown and golden fur...she had fur, kairas mind was a scramble of questions….but all she wanted right now...was to run.

( the following morning, back at the compound)

Kaira awoke in bed this time, hoping last night was a fever dream….until she began to look around… her bag was on the chair across from the bed….she went to get up and realized she was naked. pulling the sheet from the bed ,she wrapped it around her, the blood stains on the sheet had her turning back to the bed and she screamed at what she saw....a guy she didn't even recognize, with his neck and stomach torn out…. Had she done that, what was she...the images of last night replayed in her head…

“ You’re a hybrid if that's what you're wondering” Klaus was in the doorway, one of his classic smirks on his face ” a wolf and a vampire” he motions for two of the staff he kept around , to clean up the room. “ you didn't know about your wolf side ...did you?”

“ I was raised in an orphanage, so no, I didn't know about my wolf side…” klaus pinned her to the wall, her grip on the sheet was faltering

“ don't you snap at me pup” releasing his grip when he realized she was in a sheet, his gaze went up to the ceiling “ get dressed , you have a lot to learn about the family you have joined here in new orleans” and with that klaus stormed out of the room whilst kaira pulled an outfit out of her bag.

Kaira was a hybrid, that much she knew now, in her whole human life the most she had to worry about was Batman throwing her in the asylum, but now...there were witches, wolves, vampires, doppelgangers...oh my!

What would this new life bring?

TBC…(when I have muse for it)

#TheDonLlama #DonBrattyLlama #HærtEstate #HærtArmy #HærtsOfLove #KalieJay981 #Hærtlings #TheDonofTheHærtEstate #MakeLoveNotWar #my writing #fantasy #spilled ink #fanfic

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ashanimus · 1 year

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Ash Liveblogs LL 2-3

Every time I think I understand I get in deeper and I realize I do Not. Oh yes Anna, oh yes Nate, I see why people like these Robits. I get it now.

ITS SO INTENSE. MY BRAIN. I HAVE FIRE ANTS OF CREATIVITY AND QUESTIONS. IVE WRITTEN AND RECORDED TWO--TWO SONGS!!!!!???--IN THE LAST 48 HOURS THAT STARTED WITH TRANSFORMERS STUFF AND TRANFORMERS OC. HELP?

I stayed up till 4 am the other day finishing MTME thinking I'd have a moment of breath, of peace, before moving on. NO! I got the ontological equivalent of the dickbutt. Go read the next collection, you idiot.

Anyway here's the liveblog of LL 2-3

AHHHH my boys <3 also hi swerve.

Dear GOD i've said it before and I'll say it again, I would NEVER EVER want to end up on the minibot's bad side. Theyre both fucking feral but REWIND

HE's SO bold and impulsive and intense. I would so much sooner find myself Cyclonus or even Whirl's enemy

Also, 12 of 12.

This is what would happen if Facebok gained self awareness and a body. This is the pope if he ate -insert billionare techbro of your choice-

I am obsessed with the coloring in this fucking series, and also I am a Fan of Anode. Her design is so appealing. Very nice colors.

I really like her ; o ;

SKEIFJLKDAGKJ Rod's new blue look is throwing me off so bad but dear GOD this is so fucking funny. Roddles just got BURNED

Oh Christ on a pogo stick. In a comic chock full of some of the most grotesque images I've ever seen it says something that these words and the picture they paint is so far proving to be amongst the most OMINOUS

TRAPPED LIGHT? Lost light? Threadbare space? Like? About to tear??? AAAAAAAAA

OH DEAR GOD SEE THIS IS WHAT I MEAN DO NOT FUCK WITH THE MINIBOTS ASJFDASLGDG

That's RIGHT Cyclonus you--OH NOOOOOOOOO ANODE LASKLFDSFAJDSKJGD

Aghhhh. All silliness aside. This is heartbreaking. Tailgate despite being Cyclonus' contemporary is a little naive and lacks a certain physical experience of war and destruction and Cyclonus quietly and calmly walking him over the threshold of the aftermath is breaking my little bat heart T m T

He looks so sad :<

SNERK yes cry for help you annoying green bitchbaby--DAMMIT

All hail the useless one! Where did you find my negative self talk bubble six of twelve--OH DEAR GOd FOR REAL?

I mean yes Rung is a Useless Therapist but oh my GODDDD WHAT IS THIS

LL 3

Whiiiiirl my beloved

Im always so impressed by how the artists make these characters emote. The squinty lil optic...

The list of what is wrong with these men is so long but I love them all so much

Whirl. Whirl. Buddy. I distinctly remember something about your Nemesis being a guy named something else entirely and definitely not Killmaster--

Genuinely fascinated by this entire conversation, and also in awe of how JRO effortlessly seems to come up with the most badass fantasy technical terms ever. Widowed metal. Holy shit.

I also love how the Lost Light is big enough that we can have this drama happening upstairs and then THIS happening directly beneath their feet as;dfjlkdsjg

Oh look, the cavalry! Cyclonus here to help!

OH UH, FUCK??

HOLD ON HOLD ON.

I AM CALLING HOLY BULLSHIT.

#maccadam #ash liveblogs idw #annabean

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threeleggedcrow · 3 years

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i'm so soft and emotional today for some reason i'm about to cryyyyy

#I KNOW no one asked #but stuff needs to be said sometimes u know #also i'm listening to lofi songs i used to listen to years ago when i was omw to my therapy sessions #and it makes me so damn emo lol I MISS MY THERAPIST #anna my beloved why did you have to move to cologne #she was the best i hope she's well

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mail-me-a-snail · 3 years

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dr wendy my mean girl my queen my darling my doctor my therapist who's emotionally stunted carr my BELOVED

yeah ive been trying to figure out how to draw her because gotdamn...anna torv is gorgeous. also some pride hcs :>

#dr wendy carr #wendy carr #mindhunter #holden ford #bill tench #yeah theyre here #bill x holden #holden x bill #netflix #artists on tumblr #digital art #mine #my art #srry for the art spam these past few days #but ive been havin fun

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alicitaffairs · 4 years

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Reading List 2021

Who’s ready for another reading list? I’ve added links to my goodreads review this time around!

The Opposite of Always by Jason A. Reynolds (1/1)

The Blood of Olympus by Rick Riordan (1/3)

The Meaning of Mariah Carey by Mariah Carey (1/10)

The Missing of Clairedelune by Christelle Dabos (1/11)

One to Watch by Kate Stayman-London (1/13)

The Darkest Part of the Forest by Holly Black (1/16)

An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir (1/22)

Written in the Stars by Alexandria Bellefleur (1/25)

Wayfarer by Alexandra Bracken (1/27)

The Memory of Babel by Christell Dabos (1/31)

This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone (2/4)

A Torch Against the Night by Sabaa Tahir (2/5)

Written in the Stars by AIsha Saeed (2/7)

Beartown by Fredrik Backman (2/9)

Lore by Alexandra Bracken (2/18)

A Reaper at the Gates by Sabaa Tahir (2/22)

Honey Girl by Morgan Rogers (2/26)

A Sky Beyond the Storm by Sabaa Tahir (3/2)

Where’d You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple (3/3)

City of Ghosts by Victoria Schwab (3/8)

Chain of Iron by Cassandra Clare (3/10)

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed by Lori Gottlieb (3/14)

Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume (3/16)

The Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (3/20)

Beloved by Toni Morrison (3/21)

This Is Not the Jess Show by Anna Carey (3/24)

Challenger Deep by Neal Shusterman (3/29)

Tunnel of Bones by Victoria Schwab (3/30)

The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune (4/13)

Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo (4/16)

Heartstopper: Volume 1 by Alice Oseman (4/17)

Heartstopper: Volume 2 by Alice Oseman (4/18)

Emergency Contact by Mary H. K. Choi (4/20)

Siege and Storm by Leigh Bardugo (4/22)

Ruin and Rising by Leigh Bardugo (4/22)

Lost in the Never Woods by Aiden Thomas (4/30)

And Every Morning the Way Home Get Longer and Longer by Fredrik Backman (5/3)

Heartstopper: Volume 3 by Alice Oseman (5/6)

Anne of Manhattan by Brina Staler (5/6)

We Hunt The Flame by Hafsah Fazal (5/12)

Bridge of Souls By Victoria Schwab (5/13)

King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo (5/20)

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier (5/20)

The Deep by Rivers Solomon (5/24)

Heartstopper: Volume 4 by Alice Oseman (5/27)

Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo (5/28)

Ariadne by Jennifer Saint (5/31)

Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo (6/1)

Paper Girls Vol. 1 by Brian K. Vaughan (6/3)

Better Together by Christine Riccio (6/7)

The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien (6/15)

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston (6/19)

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab (6/24)

The Midnight Library By Matt Haig (7/6)

#bye alyshia #reading list 2021 #books #to update

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sjecblogarchive · 4 years

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A FITTING MEMORIAL DAY REFLECTION ON OUR MUCH BELOVED AND MISSED PETER HUGHES

05/28/2020 BY ANNA GALINA PETTY A FITTING MEMORIAL DAY REFLECTION ON OUR MUCH BELOVED AND MISSED PETER HUGHES MEMORIAL DAY 2020: ONE VETERAN’S STORY This year, Memorial Day really hits home. In the past, it’s always been the typical, “big-picture” holiday for me. Held in reverence, to be sure, but I never connected it to something personal.

Gerald “Peter” Hughes passed away peacefully at 8:25 PM on May 19. While Memorial Day is technically to honor those who died while serving their country—to me, it’s equally a time to honor those that didn’t but who gave a piece of themselves nonetheless.

Peter was such a man. I could write a book about him. His service. His love of country. His anguish. But most importantly, his humanity. I don’t think I have ever had the privilege of knowing such an interesting, thoughtful, and cheerful man—despite the demons he carried back from Vietnam.

So many memories are flooding through my mind that I can barely process them. He had a tremendous, lasting, and positive impact upon me. Indeed, upon everyone who was blessed to have crossed his path. Blessed is an appropriate term here—as among other things, Peter had been a Catholic priest—and a Trappist monk for ten years.

Peter came from a military family. His dad was a high-ranking Naval Officer in WWII, as I recall. His brother, a Navy pilot—who sadly was lost at sea during the Bay of Pigs military operation. This was an event that tortured Peter until the very end, as the government never provided the family with any explanation. Just a telegraph to the family with the words “lost at sea” included.

Peter would get very emotional telling of how he had to be the one to sit down with his young nephew and tell him that his dad was not coming home and he’s now the man of the house.

Despite coming from a “Navy family”, Peter took a different path—first spending some time in the Air Force during the Korean War but as that was over in a short time (compared to other wars) he mustered out in fewer than two years. That’s when he entered the Trappist monk order, to which he belonged for ten years.

Flash forward to the Vietnam War. The military was hurting for chaplains and approached the Catholic Church, looking for volunteers. Peter once again raised his hand, leaving the safety and pastoral life of an agrarian monk to serve his fellow man amongst the chaos, destruction, and pain of war.

There was one story he told over and over, that obviously had a terrible impact on him. Fairly new to Vietnam, he ran to the stretcher upon which a severely wounded solder lay dying. Peter attempted to comfort him and give last rights.

As Peter told it, the young boy looked up at him at screamed, “F—- you, Father!”. Peter said that’s when he realized just how unprepared he was to comfort, and that all the platitudes and rituals of religion he knew didn’t translate to the battlefield.

Events such as these are, I believe, what caused his PTSD — in his mind he carried tremendous guilt for not having the skills and experience to provide what these dying soldiers needed. A terrible and unjust burden that tormented him long after the war.

Despite the moral injuries he suffered Peter not only survived but thrived after the war. For decades he worked with people struggling with addiction and did untold good for his fellow man. But his accomplishments and impact here in the temporal world go much further and have set in place a lasting legacy that will continue on well into the future and help countless other veterans. You see, Peter is THE genesis of Hero’s Bridge, a nonprofit focused on helping older veterans in need.

I first came into contact with Peter at Fauquier Hospital in Warrenton. I was walking down the hall in the course of my daily duties, when I was flagged down by a physical therapist who asked that I visit with a veteran patient with no family.

As I stepped into his dim room, it was as if a favorite uncle and I had been reunited after many years. I don’t think I have ever met someone that could instantly stir such a feeling.

Despite his predicament, you would have thought it the best day of his life from his demeanor and cheerfulness. He truly radiated positivity, for lack of a better descriptor. Two hours or so later, I departed a better man (anyone who knew Peter, knows he was quite a conversationalist).

We stayed in contact, and attempted to assist as best we could throughout his continual troubles which included frequent hospitalizations, rides to grocery shop, doctor appointments, etc. Recognizing the significant needs, and discovering the limited resources and solutions, we decided to take the leap and form Hero’s Bridge.

Hundreds of veterans have been helped since its formation a handful of years ago — and Peter was the spark that set all that in motion. And, with Hero’s Bridge and Capital Caring Health working hand-in-hand in veterans’ care, that number will increase geometrically.

As I said, I could write a book about Peter. All the good he did while here. All the lives impacted for the better (I think every trip to the coffee shop, he made a new friend. He was that kind of person, always interested in those around him).

But that is just the beginning of the story. His good works will continue on, through the people with whom he crossed paths on his daily walks, those he interacted with in healthcare, and countless others in the future that will benefit from the services of Hero’s Bridge.

How does it relate to Memorial Day? One to which I alluded earlier: Memorial Day should also be a day to remember not only those who died in service, but also those that gave but returned home a different person. Men and women who will carry the scars and demons of the horror that is war the rest of their lives.

Another is to personalize and remind us of the true meaning of this “holiday,” a meaning that can easily be lost in the materialistic world of sales and marketing. It is not about a steep discount on a new washing machine. It is about what truly matters in the end — the human condition.

And finally, it is a tribute to a special man. An American Soldier, who served his country faithfully and honorably in two branches of the Armed Forces. A man who returned and took the trauma he experienced and endured and used it for good. It also serves as a tribute to all veterans.

As they say, “all gave some, some gave all.” Let’s also honor those that didn’t give their life at the time but gave nonetheless — and gave mightily. I’ll never forget Peter sobbing during a VA appointment when discussing his experiences in Vietnam. It was heartbreaking. So much so that the nurse was sobbing along with him.

We must not forget the impact service has had on our veterans — and do our part to serve and honor them as best we can. All the while being sensitive to the demons with which many still battle.

Semper Fi,

Dave Benhoff, LtCol/USMC (ret.)

Vice President, Hero’s Bridge

#General #Community #Reflection

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lindaliukas · 7 years

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Year in review 2017

Fourth year in review. This year I did more work with schools and was excited to see school districts start to embrace my work. Ran roughly 400 kilometres around the world and read 60 books. Flew over 120 flights and did over 60 talks. Published the third book in Ruby series.

2017 was a weird year. On the other hand I felt like I found professionally the guidelines I had been looking for: maximising freedom, maximising curiosity. Early on in the year I stumbled upon Robert Irwin who “decided to step in to his own curiosity” and knew I had found what I had been looking for. On the other hand I experienced first hand how easy it is to tip out of balance and ignore the things closest & dearest to you, resulting in a big mess.

Here are 2016, 2015 and 2014. And here is 2017:

January

Changed the year in Långvik with minimal hassle, maximum friends. Moved offices to Maria, again in snow & cold. Enjoyed the quiet days after Christmas and found kindred spirits. Met Andre Agassi at NBF (whose book I loved a few years back), but was most impressed with his charismatic manager who told me war stories about building schools.

Saw Arrival and Jackie. Loved this Tumblr story on Harry Potter and the CS classics list. Celebrated Nils' and Saku's birthdays. Ate more veggies and bought a Vitamix!

Went to Hawaii with Ville and enjoyed St. Regis & hiking. Kauai was green and lush and beautiful. Rode around the island to get one of my magic books of the year: Seeing is Forgetting (more on that later).

Washed my passport in the washing machine. It was a bad year for passports: I lost all together three.

Read:

The Girls.

Seven Brief Lessons on Physics. (Ended up studying a lot more physics this year than I originally anticipated!)

Juniper. From this Radiolab episode. If I were to start a tech company it would be in this space.

Where Wizards Stay Up Late.

Tale of Shikanako #1. I forgot to read the next parts, need to put it in my reading queue.

Whiplash.

Mothers.

The Gene.

February

Spent most of the month in US: New York, DC and Boston. Visited DC public schools, took mom to see Bowery Poetry Club in NY. Had really wonderful, snowy, concentrated days in Boston and got to hang out with Jie & rest of LLK team + dinners with friends.

Atlantic wrote about Ruby & the philosophy behind it!

Did my first STEM Institute with Roxanne and the CS4All team of New York Department of Education. Was exhausted, happy, loved the thorough feedback and can’t wait to run the course again.

Left my laptop in an Uber in Boston and ran around like crazy trying to get it to New York in time. Bought a new iPad and started experimenting with tools like Astropad, Apple Pencil and PS Sketch that would later in the year replace my old system of drawing.

Wined and dined with Henrietta in a very random evening.

Read:

Beloved. Loved this. More Toni Morrison for 2018.

Association of Small Bombs.

Seeing is Forgetting the Name of The Thing One Sees. On of the three most important books of the year. Oh Robert Irwin. His entire doctorate acceptance speech:"All I want say is that the wonder is still there." Walks away.

The End of Absence.

The Underground Railroad.

March

Went to Melbourne for a few days to speak at NGV Victoria (and Australian TV!). Started my David Hockney obsession that would last the entire year.

Settled into New York life and the TED residency. Started new routines with hip hop yoga! Did an Arduino workshop at School for Poetic Computation and enjoyed feeling like a beginner.

Worked a lot on the Internet book, reading a ton of the original research papers of WWW and Internet. Fell in love with Fermat’s library. Spent a lot of time thinking how to structure the book between software, hardware and culture of Internet.

Visited Switzerland shortly and was chosen as one of the 50 most inspiring women in tech in Europe.

Saw two plays: Tove Jansson in Helsinki with Jemina and an immersive piece Strangest in New York with Paul. Had a really fun, magic, sparkly afternoon with Hugo in Whitney Biennal.

Read

Small Pieces Loosely Joined.

The Vegetarian.

Homo Deus.

Commonwealth

April

Tried to balance living in two continents. Wrote a lot, but also saw a lot of friends. Went to see Puerto Rican / New York Poetry Slam with Roxanne and loved it. Brunched with Jason & Sara, went flywheeling with Zach, had dinner at Farhad’s insane apartment and cooked for Otto.

Saw Ghost in Shell and a live version of Israel Story (and got many ideas for my own performances). Backed Climate Change Coloring Book, which was one of my favorite Kickstarter projects of the year.

Turned 31 in New York. Got to go to Sesame Workshop!!

Got a new, beautiful goddaughter.

A quick trip to Barcelona to see Hola Ruby out in Spanish & Catalanian. Had a magical midnight dinner with a locals and visited one of the most eclectic schools. Continued working on Internet (and concept stage boardgame).

Tried to read David Foster Wallace, but gave up. This year maybe.. Still, always, Björk.

Read

The Handmaid's tale

A Tale of Love and Darkness. Enjoyed this one a lot.

In the Woods

May

The spring was starting to catch up and felt mostly jetlagged for the entire month. On the upside: lots of wonderful encounters with new and old friends. Saw Mikito for the first time in a long time and talked art & technology (TBC!!). Met Fawn! And Karen! Had breakfast with Yon & left with the biggest grin. Celebrated Eve’s engagement.

Celebrated Vappu in Central Park and had one of those funny, warm, random New York dinners where there just happens to be some of the most celebrated musicians, cooks & tech people of Nordics all under same roof.

Saw the Commes des Garcons show in Met and felt Rei Kawakubo’s personality. Saw Georgia O’Keeffe (+Marimekko, Finnish pride!) exhibition with Tiina (and later read this great article). Organised Computing & Stories summit in SFPC and felt the future of computing.

Did another PD on Internet with the NYC teachers (and tested ideas for the book, win-win!) and also in Sweden for Swedish teachers.

Fell in love with China. 你好 Ruby! Hello Ruby won the prestigious DIA Award by China Academy of Art out of 2700 applicants. My visit in Hangzhou was short, but can’t wait to go back and learn more about the country and it’s technology & education culture. Here are a few stories: 1, 2, 3

Read

Startup.

The Wangs vs. the World

See you in the cosmos.

Americanah. LOVED this.

June

Ended TED Residency with a talk. Really wish I would have prioritised the residency more, but luckily the community doesn’t come with an expiration date.

Took my parents to Japan and was really excited to show them all the experiences I loved. Visited Kyoto & Osaka for the first time.

Flew to Birmingham CAS conference. Miles and the UK computing organisations have inspired me a lot and I was glad to be able to give back. Loved being back in London for a few days and spending time in Kew Gardens with Minna and her family + seeing house of Minalima with Emma. Celebrated Tuula’s 60th.

Worked too much. Had a familiar midsummer stretch with Ruby 3. Me & mom going through proofs at 4 AM in the morning. Decided to move the next deadline to May to avoid the summer panic.

For most of the year my phone only had data service. Realised how much I hated being interrupted with calls. Ville had also sold his car, so we were for the first time in 5+ years a car free household. Felt like the future.

Read

On China.

Seeing is Forgetting the Name of the Thing One Sees. Finally finished. Best book I read all year.

American War.

July

Had my traditional summer vacation month and lived it vigourously by going to the dentist, eye doctor, doctor.. Oh well, ran and swam also and enjoyed the cold Nordic summer by biking in the soaking rain. Got Nintendo Switch and played hours and hours of Zelda.

Visited Berlin and danced my worries away with girlfriends. One of the most important weekends of the years with big consequences.

Celebrated the wedding of Pete & Liisa, met Juha 6/5, watered plants with little Isla, saw Valerian and had lunch with Miki with omnious predictions.

Did a biking trip to Kristo’s & Anna’s island with Ville and loved the archipelago and sense of summer childhoods. Visited the new Moominmuseum in Tampere and can warmly recommend it. Visited Meidän Festivaali, summer tradition.

Found A16Z AI Playbook and got inspired for the next book - it’s really amazing how much good educational material is out there. Some of my favorite newsletters on the topic for the entire year were: ImportAI, Exponential View and Creative.AI

Read

Artificial Intelligence: What everyone needs to know.

The Thirst. My summer tradition with the Nesbo’s..

In Dialogue with Reggio Emilia. Reggio was a lot on my mind through the year.

Sweetbitter

New York 2140

The Thing About Jellyfish.

August

Had a lot of family problems and overall a very sad month. But was also much more gentle towards myself and had a very strong idea of persisting. Stark contrast to the PR stuff happening around same time. Talked to everyone and everywhere. Cried a lot.

Third Ruby book came out in Finnish. The tetralogy is one step to being finished. I wanted to talk about the Internet, but everyone else still wants to talk about coding. Oh well. This was a nice, long talk about the book, although in Finnish.

Spent a lot of energy making home feel like home. Hosted dinners, spent a fun evening in Lonna, celebrated Flow weekend, had dinner in the Marimekko factory floor, went to the wedding of Johanna and Kalle.

Did two really important things for myself: started seeing a therapist and joined an all-girls running club. Monday evenings of track, hills and forests were the highlight of the week for the entire fall. Thanks Helsinki Core Trainers & Jarno. Went also orienteering for the first time in 20 years and found it very soothing.

Favorite things of the month: Melissa Kaseman’s art project, Preschool Pocket Treasures and Young Explorers.

Read

Rikinkeltainen taivas

The Idiot

The Sellout

Walkaway

September

Went to Copenhagen for Techfestival and enjoyed the small, weird, ambiguous, quality driven discussions. Felt fresh for a technology conference.

Worked on the English version of Internet book and started planning an illustration exhibition around Ruby with mom. Did some play testing at the English School.

Nelli had a masquerade party, dressed up as Alice in Wonderland and made a special dress! Celebrated Marjaana’s birthday in Lonna, ended up at an old friends apartment eating pizza at 7 AM.

Organised a surprise birthday party for my sister together with her friends and baby shower to my cousin’s wife. Hung out with goddaughter on a crips autumn day. Enjoyed doing small things for others.

Judged a hackathon at Marimekko and ended up doing my first machine learning project inspired by it! Found Liu Cixin’s books and mind exploded.

Went to Amsterdam and did a teacher workshop. Walked alone around a lot. Month ended up in better news.

Kept running. Kept reading this essay by Robert Macfarlane. Influenced my work a lot.

Read:

The Beautiful bureaucrat

The God of Small Things

When Marnie was there. Still haven't seen the movie!

Standard Deviation

Sophie's Choice

Sourdough. Loved this. Bought five immediately to giveaway.

Three Body problem. One of the other important books/series of the year.

A Mind at Play

River Town

October

Weird month. Mostly happy and relieved, but also way too much travel. I feel dizzy only reviewing what happened.. Was really happy to get a good review of the second Ruby book in US. The timelines of publishing really kill me.

Ran the Sipoonkorpi Trail and admired the baby kitten of a friend. Had a 15 year old intern who was bold enough to apply! Met with a lot of school people. Was back in Berlin for a few days, fell in love with my German publisher and their worldview.

Had pizza and watched Lady Gaga documentary with friends. Enjoyed this drawing from Aura.

Did an insane around the world few weeks: started with David’s birthday party in Copenhagen, followed by a very hungover flight to South Korea. Ran the best run of the year at Namsan Trail in Seoul, hung out with friends old and new. Saw Hillary Clinton live! Bucket list. Flew to Wisconsin and met with very cool librarians (and woke up to the news I had won an award on future of culture in Finland!). Spent a day in New York: saw friends, did a book event at my favourite bookstore, ran in Central Park.. and met my biggest kidlit idol, Oliver Jeffers, accidentally!

Visited four Finnish cities and three Swedish ones in a week. Did a project for Swedish teachers and tried reading Ruby aloud på svenska. Sounded like moomintrollet, but whatever. Flew to Japan.

Read:

Hold me tight.

Close to the Machine. This was like Patti Smith with computers.

Dark Forest.

Machine Learning: the new AI

Room of One's Own. Thousand times yes.

Little Fires Everywhere.

November

Went to Japan to accept the Rakuten Technology & Innovation award. Loved the other prize winners - among them an 80 year old app developer lady. Soaked for a rainy Sunday in onsen and visited the new Yayoi Kusama museum.

Went to Lapland with Ville. Enjoyed season's first skiing and started knitting again. Saw Tuntematon Sotilas movie. Dear friends got married and we got to be the witnesses. Met a new baby relative.

Very briefly visited Malmö and Oredev - wish I could have stayed longer. Flew to Miami and played Super Mario Odyssey almost entire flight. Got to visit an amazing school in Coconut Grove.

Finished Liu Cixin’s the Remembrance of Earth trilogy and a la Emily Dickinson: “I felt a cleaving in my mind / As if my brain had split; I tried to match it, seam by seam, / But could not make them fit.”

Went to Greece and had the warmest & most enthusiastic crowd. Hope next year will bring more collaborations.

Thought a lot about this essay from Stephen Wolfram and this one from Cory Doctorow.

Read

Forest Dark.

Stoner. This was the suprirse Ferrante of the year: kept popping up everywhere..

Draft No. 4: On the Writing Process. Loved this.

Death's End.

The Obelisk Gate.

The Fifth Season.

At the Existentialist Cafe. Took me almost a year to finish, but I can sense the reverberations..

December

I MET AL GORE. Everyone who knows me (or the 1.6 million people who watched the TED talk..) knows this was a huge deal, like a circle closing after 17 years. (The biggest daily of Finland also wrote a piece about the meeting on their economy pages. Teenage girls & their enthusiasm change the world <3). (Also, had lunch with Prince William, which on any other day would have been a huge deal, but all my excitement had already been used on Gore..). Slush was everything it promised: late from everything, random encounters, techno parties in the tunnels of Helsinki that went on until morning.

Went to Australia, spent half of the trip with a flu and lost my bank card, passport, and a few other gadgets. Decided it was time for a vacation. Loved seeing Australia beyond Melbourne and promised to come back for more than a few days..

Got a bit emotional about Finland turning 100 after being pretty nonchalant for the entire year.

Met with more childhood idols and got feedback on my projects. Met with a mentor and planned a trip to Dubai. Took a metro to Aalto University and heard about their AI research and quantum computing. Got really excited about visiting India. A teacher in NYC dressed up as Ruby for Computer Science week. Wrote about work and worked on writing.

Finished the Hockney book and was happy as a child with the Hockney-Falco-thesis. Perception (be it AI or art) seemed to be the theme of the year. Read Sherry Turkle's work and found direction(s).

Made gingerbread cookies with goddaughters family, took another goddaughter to movies to see Moomin. Celebrated Maija's doctoral dissertation (and surprise wedding!). Went to Christmas concert with Nelli & Juha, had many Christmas celebrations with friends. Saw Star Wars (if I had to choose, liked the new Blade Runner better) and Mozart's Magic Flute (loved the Komische Oper Berlin visuals). Watched the Crown.

Had girls over for wrath meaning and planning the new year. Spent Christmas together with Ville, just the two of us. Loved our tree, the new traditions and the quiet.

Read

Dinner at the Center of the Earth.

Manhattan Beach.

Minun Amerikkani. Felt this strongly.

True to Life: Twenty-Five years of Conversations with David Hockney. One of the big books of the year.

The Second Self: Computers and the Human Spirit.

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mrmichaelchadler · 5 years

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Ebertfest 2019: A Photo Journal

Roger's presence was alive and well in the Virginia Theatre at our 21st Ebertfest! Festival Director Nate Kohn and I presented the Roger Ebert's Film Festival in collaboration with Roger's alma mater, the College of Media at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. We were assisted by Festival Coordinator, Andrew Michael Hall ("Andy"). The following photo diary offers snapshots of our cherished memories that took place April 10th through April 13th in Champaign and Urbana, Illinois.

Photos courtesy of Timothy Hiatt.

DAY ONE

The Opening Night Gala for Ebertfest was hosted graciously by University President Timothy Kileen and his wife Dr. Roberta Johnson. Opening speeches were also given by Chancellor Robert Jones and College of Media Dean Tracy Sulkin.

During my speech at the gala, I was joined at the podium by two of the festival's special guests, Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly. Coincidentally, Gina Gerson's cousin, Alan Elliott, preserved, restored and presented our opening night selection, "Amazing Grace," the amazing documentary about Aretha Franklin recording the best selling gospel album in history over two nights in a church in Watts, Los Angeles in 1972.

Preceding "Amazing Grace," Alan Elliott was joined onstage for a Q&A with producer Tirrell D. Whittley and our Ebert Fellow, Whitney Spencer. Elliott told us of his musical roots and of how he was influenced by gospel music and why he was so passionate about bringing this performance of Aretha Franklin to the public.

Tirrell Whittley's background as a Deacon was evident in his powerful invocation. Once we saw this powerful film we understood Alan Elliott's quest to bring it to the screen. It is being distributed by NEON and has opened in select theaters across the country. No doubt church groups and many others will line up to see this historic performance.

The crowd-pleasing screening concluded with a performance by the Martin Luther King Jr. Community Choir of Champaign-Urbana that had the audience on its feet.

Turns out moving our musical finale of the festival to opening night was a great idea after all. It raised our spirits through the roof and held them there through the entirety of the week.

DAY TWO

Prior to showtime at the Virginia Theatre, two inspiring academic panel discussions were held at the nearby Hyatt Hotel, the first sponsored by the Champaign County Alliance for Inclusion and Respect.

It was entitled "Challenging Stigma Through the Arts," and moderated by Dr. Eric Pierson. The discussion challenged whether the images of addiction in the movies helped or hindered the public's understanding of addiction. Pierson was joined onstage by therapist Marcina Hale, film critic Matt Fagerholm, and professional representatives of the recovery community, including from the Rosencrance Rehabilitation Center. Their in-depth discussion offered suggestions on which movies and TV shows portrayed addiction accurately, but more importantly, they offered practical solutions to treating addiction and it's aftermath as a service to the audience.

The second panel focused on "Women in Cinema: Hollywood or Independent, Does it Make a Difference," and featured such speakers as Alliance of Women Film Journalists president Jennifer Merin, "Bound" stars Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon... They too offered practical suggestions for how to increase the representation of women in cinema, both in front of and behind the camera.

...RogerEbert.com Assistant Editor Nell Minow, "Maya Angelou and Still I Rise" director Rita Coburn and "The Curvy Critic" Carla Renata (filmmaker Stephen Apkon and Sony Pictures Classics co-president Michael Barker were also present).

Alloy Orchestra members Ken Winokur and Terry Donahue chatted onstage with Michael Phillips and Todd Rendleman following their live musical accompaniment of a silent screen classic, in this case, Jean Epstein's 1923 melodrama, "Coeur fidèle" ("The Faithful Heart"). The third member of their trio, Roger Miller, was busy selling their priceless merchandise in the festival's boutique.

The Alloy Orchestra has performed at Ebertfest for over 16 years and are always brought back by popular demand. They compose original scores for the silent films they select, even making some of the instruments they use. What a talented group. We are fortunate to have them.

Both of the morning panels were reflected in the second film of the day, and Sony Pictures Classics Co-President, Michael Barker, delivered an amazing homage to the late Jonathan Demme's 2008 masterwork, "Rachel Getting Married." It featured Anne Hathaway in what I still consider her best performance, as a struggling addict returning home for her sister's wedding. This film is phenomenal with a cast including Rosemarie DeWitt, Bill Irwin, Debra Winger, Anna Deveare Smith, Tunde Adebimpe and many others. Demme considered it one of his favorites in contributing to the understanding of human behavior. It shows how whole families become dysfunctional and act out in various ways, but how facing up to addiction, admitting wrongs, making amends, forgiveness and love can help you face the very messiness of life and come together as a family and community. Michael Barker is without a doubt one of Ebertfest's favorite guests.

Barker spoke onstage after the film with our critic, Nell Minow, and one of Demme's closest friends, Stephen Apkon, a recipient of the Roger Ebert Humanitarian Award for his documentary, "Disturbing the Peace." The screenwriter of "Rachel Getting Married," Jenny Lumet (the granddaughter of Lena Horne and the daughter of Sidney Lumet), joined in the conversation over the satellite.

Lana and Lilly Wachowski's hugely enjoyable debut feature, "Bound," was the evening's cinematic treat, and it was made ten times more entertaining by the Q&A afterward with Gina Gershon and Academy Award nominee Jennifer Tilly. Their banter with critics Chuck Koplinski and Pamela Powell was a joy to watch.

DAY THREE

Michael Phillips introduced the audience to the 2018-19 University of Illinois College of Media Roger Ebert Fellows, Curtis Cook, Pari Apostolakos and Eunice Alpasan, who did a splendid job covering their first full Ebertfest experience. Although Phillips is the film critic for the Chicago Tribune, he is the revered mentor for the Ebert Fellowship program at the University of Illinois, and is valued for his knowledge and experience and his love of teaching. He makes the program better every year.

One of our longtime Ebertfest guests, Sam Fragoso, was encouraged by Roger to keep doing what he loved, and he is now an accomplished critic, podcaster and filmmaker. His wonderful short film, "Sebastian," preceded the first feature screened on Day 3 of Ebertfest, and earned him the coveted Golden Thumb.

Pawel Pawlikowski's ravishing Polish romance, "Cold War," was the discussion topic for Festival Director Nate Kohn, Michael Phillips and Carla Renata, following the morning screening. Carla Renata interviewed the film's director and shared some revealing insights into the movie. It was partially based on Pawlikowski's parents' tempestuous love story and is an epic told over several decades. Renata is also a recurring actress on ABC's Superstore, and just published a book for actors on marketing.

Horace Jenkins' newly restored 1982 gem, "Cane River," brought out a stellar quartet of talents: producer Sandra Schulberg, actress Tommye Myrick and Jenkins' children, Sacha and Dominique Jenkins. This film is a modern day Romeo & Juliet played out in Louisiana among descendants of African-American Creoles and slaves. It is a tale of colorism, land ownership, and a young woman's determination to pursue her education, but above all, it a tale of love. Very romantic. Ms. Myrick hilariously told us how she had to learn to swim and ride horses because she couldn't do either and the film required both. Schulberg told us how she preserved to get the film restored. And Dominique and Sacha told us of their remarkable father whose life itself is worthy of a film.

The great Polish actress, Madame Maja Komorowska, traveled all the way from Warsaw to attend our Ebertfest screening of Krzysztof Zanussi's 1984 love story, "A Year of the Quiet Sun," which paired her with the late Scott Wilson, to whom this year's festival was dedicated. She was joined on stage by her amusing translator, Jerzy Tyszkiewicz, who also happens to be her grandson.

Their Q&A was moderated by Professor Todd Rendleman and Jennifer Merin. After tribute clips of Scott Wilson's film career, his widow, Heavenly Wilson, spoke of getting this movie made in Poland and at Monument Valley in the United States.

Here Maja Komorowska and Jerzy are joined by Scott's widow, Heavenly Wilson. Getting to spend time with them was heavenly indeed. It has become an Ebertfest tradition for guests and audiences to pose with the sculpture of Roger on the plaza of the Virginia Theater. The sculpture is by artist Rick Harney and was installed by the fundraising efforts of festival donors Donna and Scott Anderson. It was truly a gift from the heart, as Donna woke up in the hospital when she was having a heart transplant and said she wanted to do whatever it took to get a sculpture of Roger near the Virginia Theater as a gift to the community.

Iconic "Simpsons" producer David Mirkin brought down the house with his beloved 1997 comedy, "Romy and Michele's High School Reunion." Festival Director Nate Kohn appears here with film critics and broadcasters Chuck Koplinski and Pamela Powell who had a ball chatting with David Mirkin onstage.The audience loved seeing Lisa Kudrow and Mira Sorvino in their screwball roles. Mirkin presented an image of high school that so many can relate to. He was a delightful guest.

DAY FOUR

Beginning the last day of Ebertfest 2019 were two films about heroic figures who have left an indelible imprint in our culture long after their passing. The first was "Maya Angelou and Still I Rise," directed by Rita Coburn, who spoke onstage with our Editor at Large Matt Zoller Seitz and Ebert Fellow Whitney Spencer afterward. Rita Coburn, in a surprise, was presented with the inaugural ICON award, for the scope of her film about the iconic Maya Angelou, and her contributions to humanity. This was the first ICON award ever given at Ebertfest. Rita Coburn is actually one of those phenomenal women that Angelou talks about. The film was awarded a Peabody among other awards.

Director Morgan Neville won the Ebert Humanitarian award for his film, "Won't You Be My Neighbor?" about the television trailblazer and radical humanist Fred Rogers. It was only the third humanitarian award given. The second was given to Norman Lear for his lifetime of work in television in highlighting the various nuances of the human condition through humor. Neville was joined onstage by RogerEbert.com Assistant Editors Nick Allen and Matt Fagerholm, who were both great admirers of the movie. Matt movingly shared with the audience the letter he wrote to Mr Rogers when he was five years old, and also the amazingly long and very specific response Mr Rogers wrote back to five-year-old Matt in encouragement. It illustrated the respect Mr Rogers had for children and his principle of radical kindness.

Our festival culminated with a celebration of Roger's longtime on-air "At the Movies" partner, Richard Roeper. A montage of hilarious and touching highlights from their reviews preceded my conversation with him onstage. Richard chose two films to present at Ebertfest, and both were well received: "Almost Famous," and "Sideways." Richard's career includes broadcasting on radio and television and other platforms, publishing books about movies and gambling, and lecturing. He may also be working on future movie projects.

RogerEbert.com Managing Editor Brian Tallerico and Editor at Large Matt Zoller Seitz chatted with Richard Roeper and Sam Fragoso about one of their favorite movies, Cameron Crowe's "Almost Famous," a film very close to Roger's heart (and his own life story). Crowe provided a special video introduction to the picture that was appreciated by the whole audience. His film still plays well all these years later, with an luminous performance by Kate Hudson, and an unbelievably perfect cast, including Billy Crudup, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Jason Lee and the vulnerable newcomer Patrick Fugit.

Photo by Matt Fagerholm

Last but certainly not least, we screened one of Roeper's most prized films he ever got to review with Roger, Alexander Payne's "Sideways." The film's Oscar-nominated star, the beautiful Virginia Madsen, joined us via Skype from the set of her new TV series, "Swamp Thing," for an emotional conversation about Roger and his championing of the film. The film starred Paul Giamatti, Thomas Haden-Church and the unforgettable Sandra Oh. Virginia shared many insights, including about drinking fabricated fake wine. Hilarious. Richard Roeper, Matt Zoller Seitz and Nell Minow were on hand for the discussion. All in all, a perfect end to another unforgettable Ebertfest. Join us April 15th through April 18th next year for the 22nd anniversary of Roger Ebert's Film Festival!

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reikisessions · 5 years

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When You Start Thinking That You’re Not Good Enough…

“You are strong when you know your weaknesses. You are beautiful when you appreciate your flaws. You are wise when you learn from your mistakes.” ~Unknown

The most annoying thing for me is to hear someone tell me, “Just stop it!” whenever I am frustrated or discouraged and looking for answers and solutions.

When you’re anxious, and someone tells you, “Stop worrying, it will all be fine…” these words only add fuel to the fire and often make you angry. At least this is true for me.

It reminds me of a funny video I watched about a “unique” therapeutic approach, when a therapist just tells a patient, after listening to their problems with deep emotional issues, “STOP IT!”

“But I can’t just stop it,” the patient responds. “This issue has been within me since childhood, and my mom used to do the same.”

But the therapist just calmly responds, “We don’t go there. Just stop it.”

If only it were that easy to stop it: the limiting beliefs, the destructive behavior, the unwanted outcomes, the toxic relationships, etc. All people would be skinny, rich, and happy, and we’d live in the ideal word, but unfortunately, that’s not the case.

You can’t just stop a feeling, especially one that tells you “you are not good enough.”

No matter how hard I work on my personal growth and myself, the feelings of inadequacy and comparisons to others creep in occasionally, especially when things don’t go according to my plans. It is so easy for me to blame myself when I’m feeling frustrated.

No matter how hard I try to push away the feeling that I’m not good enough, it doesn’t go away. In fact, it just strengthens. The more I resist that feelings, the more it persists.

The ironic part is that my intellectual mind knows it’s not true that I’m not good enough. On a good day, I feel powerful and anchored, and I know my value. But on a bad day—when I fail at something or take things personally—I can’t seem to stop the wave of negative emotions that take me over.

I’ve learned that I can’t just snap out of a negative feeling. I can’t just stop it. And I can’t bottle it.

So what can you do when your inner voice tells you “you are not good enough”?

Well, first of all, you need to acknowledge what you’re feeling. When you accept your feelings instead of trying to change them, they have less power over you, and can even serve you by encouraging your growth.

For example, I recently attended a local speaking club where a French lady presented a speech. She spoke in English, but, as I speak French, I wanted to complement her speech in the French language.

To my big annoyance, my mind just went blank after “Excellent travail!” (Great job!) I couldn’t think of another word. I quickly switched to English, but I felt like a failure.

My logical mind was saying, “It’s okay, you don’t use French often, that’s why you forgot,” but my emotional mind woke up all my gremlins, who were screaming at me “You are not good enough!”

I felt really frustrated, but that incident encouraged me to go back to my French books to refresh my memory. I enjoyed rereading Le Petit Prince, and in the end, I felt good about myself.

It might be a simple example, but that’s how our psychology works.

When you look your insecurity in the eyes, it often reveals an opportunity for fulfillment or improvement. Don’t deny it; listen to it. Don’t engage in the emotions it produces—the feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, and shame; just listen to what it has to say.

It doesn’t matter how many times I tell you, “You are beautiful and amazing just the way you are” (and by the way, this is absolutely true); when you look at yourself in the mirror and you don’t like what you see, you will find it hard to believe this. You inner voice might tell you, “You are not good enough as you are right now.”

Acknowledge that voice and consider that maybe your insecurity has some constructive value; for example, maybe your inner voice is trying to encourage you to start eating healthier or working out.

You also need to accept the fear that you’re not good enough as part of yourself. I don’t care where you are in life—how successful, loved, and fulfilled you might feel—we all focus on our flaws and imperfections from time to time. It’s called being human. We can’t always be at our best and most confident. And this is okay.

It’s okay to occasionally feel like you are not good enough, as long as you recognize that thoughts and feelings aren’t facts and don’t dwell in that state.

These wobbly moments are unpleasant but inevitable; you can’t avoid them.

Give yourself a permission to be imperfect, to question and doubt yourself occasionally. Without questions and doubts we wouldn’t be able to grow and develop.

I believe through wrestling with our weaknesses we are able to get to the other side of our strengths. But we can’t just ignore our shortcomings. They’re an undeniable part of us. We have to be aware and own the good, the bad, and the ugly within us, so we are better equipped to deal with our limitations.

So, the question is not how to eliminate the negative voice, but how to learn to deal with it in an intelligent, mature, and conscious way. Listen to it, learn from it, but don’t let it define who you are, don’t let it write your story.

Don’t be afraid of it and don’t try to stop it; allow it to help you learn more about who you are and who you can be.

About

Anna Simpson

Ukrainian by birth, American at heart, Anna now enjoys a quiet life in the English countryside as well as traveling all over the world with her beloved husband. Passionate about helping women find love and create their dream relationships by helping them improve their self-image. Anna is a believer that we all deserve to live the life of our dreams.

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Pop Picks — May 19, 2019

May 19, 2019

What I’m listening to:

I usually go to music here, but I was really moved by this podcast of a Davis Brooks talk at the Commonwealth Club in Silicon Valley: https://www.commonwealthclub.org/events/archive/podcast/david-brooks-quest-moral-life. While I have long found myself distant from his political stance, he has come through a dark night of the soul and emerged with a wonderful clarity about calling, community, and not happiness (that most superficial of goals), but fulfillment and meaning, found in community and human kinship of many kinds. I immediately sent it to my kids.

What I’m reading:

Susan Orlean’s wonderful The Library Book, a love song to libraries told through the story of the LA Central Library. It brought back cherished memories of my many hours in beloved libraries — as a kid in the Waltham Public Library, a high schooler in the Farber Library at Brandeis (Lil Farber years later became a mentor of mine), and the cathedral-like Bapst Library at BC when I was a graduate student. Yes, I was a nerd. This is a love song to books certainly, but a reminder that libraries are so, so much more. It is a reminder that libraries are less about a place or being a repository of information and, like America at its best, an idea and ideal. By the way, oh to write like her.

What I’m watching:

What else? Game of Thrones, like any sensible human being. This last season is disappointing in many ways and the drop off in the writing post George R.R. Martin is as clear as was the drop off in the post-Sorkin West Wing. I would be willing to bet that if Martin has been writing the last season, Sansa and Tyrion would have committed suicide in the crypt. That said, we fans are deeply invested and even the flaws are giving us so much to discuss and debate. In that sense, the real gift of this last season is the enjoyment between episodes, like the old pre-streaming days when we all arrived at work after the latest episode of the Sopranos to discuss what we had all seen the night before. I will say this, the last two episodes — full of battle and gore – have been visually stunning. Whether the torches of the Dothraki being extinguished in the distance or Arya riding through rubble and flame on a white horse, rarely has the series ascended to such visual grandeur.

Archive

March 28, 2019

What I’m listening to:

There is a lovely piece played in a scene from A Place Called Home that I tracked down. It’s Erik Satie’s 3 Gymnopédies: Gymnopédie No. 1, played by the wonderful pianist Klára Körmendi. Satie composed this piece in 1888 and it was considered avant-garde and anti-Romantic. It’s minimalism and bit of dissonance sound fresh and contemporary to my ears and while not a huge Classical music fan, I’ve fallen in love with the Körmendi playlist on Spotify. When you need an alternative to hours of Cardi B.

What I’m reading:

Just finished Esi Edugyan’s 2018 novel Washington Black. Starting on a slave plantation in Barbados, it is a picaresque novel that has elements of Jules Verne, Moby Dick, Frankenstein, and Colson Whitehead’s Underground Railroad. Yes, it strains credulity and there are moments of “huh?”, but I loved it (disclosure: I was in the minority among my fellow book club members) and the first third is a searing depiction of slavery. It’s audacious, sprawling (from Barbados to the Arctic to London to Africa), and the writing, especially about nature, luminous.

What I’m watching:

A soap opera. Yes, I’d like to pretend it’s something else, but we are 31 episodes into the Australian drama A Place Called Home and we are so, so addicted. Like “It’s AM, but can’t we watch just one more episode?” addicted. Despite all the secrets, cliff hangers, intrigue, and “did that just happen?” moments, the core ingredients of any good soap opera, APCH has superb acting, real heft in terms of subject matter (including homophobia, anti-Semitism, sexual assault, and class), touches of our beloved Downton Abbey, and great cars. Beware. If you start, you won’t stop.

February 11, 2019

What I’m listening to:

Raphael Saadiq has been around for quite a while, as a musician, writer, and producer. He’s new to me and I love his old school R&B sound. Like Leon Bridges, he brings a contemporary freshness to the genre, sounding like a young Stevie Wonder (listen to “You’re The One That I Like”). Rock and Roll may be largely dead, but R&B persists – maybe because the former was derivative of the latter and never as good (and I say that as a Rock and Roll fan). I’m embarrassed to only have discovered Saadiq so late in his career, but it’s a delight to have done so.

What I’m reading:

Just finished Marilynne Robinson’s Home, part of her trilogy that includes the Pulitzer Prize winning first novel, Gilead, and the book after Home, Lila. Robinson is often described as a Christian writer, but not in a conventional sense. In this case, she gives us a modern version of the prodigal son and tells the story of what comes after he is welcomed back home. It’s not pretty. Robinson is a self-described Calvinist, thus character begets fate in Robinson’s world view and redemption is at best a question. There is something of Faulkner in her work (I am much taken with his famous “The past is never past” quote after a week in the deep South), her style is masterful, and like Faulkner, she builds with these three novels a whole universe in the small town of Gilead. Start with Gilead to better enjoy Home.

What I’m watching:

Sex Education was the most fun series we’ve seen in ages and we binged watched it on Netflix. A British homage to John Hughes films like The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and Pretty in Pink, it feels like a mash up of American and British high schools. Focusing on the relationship of Maeve, the smart bad girl, and Otis, the virginal and awkward son of a sex therapist (played with brilliance by Gillian Anderson), it is laugh aloud funny and also evolves into more substance and depth (the abortion episode is genius). The sex scenes are somehow raunchy and charming and inoffensive at the same time and while ostensibly about teenagers (it feels like it is explaining contemporary teens to adults in many ways), the adults are compelling in their good and bad ways. It has been renewed for a second season, which is a gift.

January 3, 2019

What I’m listening to:

My listening choices usually refer to music, but this time I’m going with Malcolm Gladwell’s Revisionist History podcast on genius and the song Hallelujah. It tells the story of Leonard Cohen’s much-covered song Hallelujah and uses it as a lens on kinds of genius and creativity. Along the way, he brings in Picasso and Cézanne, Elvis Costello, and more. Gladwell is a good storyteller and if you love pop music, as I do, and Hallelujah, as I do (and you should), you’ll enjoy this podcast. We tend to celebrate the genius who seems inspired in the moment, creating new work like lightning strikes, but this podcast has me appreciating incremental creativity in a new way. It’s compelling and fun at the same time.

What I’m reading:

Just read Clay Christensen’s new book, The Prosperity Paradox: How Innovation Can Lift Nations Out of Poverty. This was an advance copy, so soon available. Clay is an old friend and a huge influence on how we have grown SNHU and our approach to innovation. This book is so compelling, because we know attempts at development have so often been a failure and it is often puzzling to understand why some countries with desperate poverty and huge challenges somehow come to thrive (think S. Korea, Singapore, 19th C. America), while others languish. Clay offers a fresh way of thinking about development through the lens of his research on innovation and it is compelling. I bet this book gets a lot of attention, as most of his work does. I also suspect that many in the development community will hate it, as it calls into question the approach and enormous investments we have made in an attempt to lift countries out of poverty. A provocative read and, as always, Clay is a good storyteller.

What I’m watching:

Just watched Leave No Trace and should have guessed that it was directed by Debra Granik. She did Winter’s Bone, the extraordinary movie that launched Jennifer Lawrence’s career. Similarly, this movie features an amazing young actor, Thomasin McKenzie, and visits lives lived on the margins. In this case, a veteran suffering PTSD, and his 13-year-old daughter. The movie is patient, is visually lush, and justly earned 100% on Rotten Tomatoes (I have a rule to never watch anything under 82%). Everything in this film is under control and beautifully understated (aside from the visuals) – confident acting, confident directing, and so humane. I love the lack of flashbacks, the lack of sensationalism – the movie trusts the viewer, rare in this age of bombast. A lovely film.

December 4, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Spending a week in New Zealand, we had endless laughs listening to the Kiwi band, Flight of the Conchords. Lots of comedic bands are funny, but the music is only okay or worse. These guys are funny – hysterical really – and the music is great. They have an uncanny ability to parody almost any style. In both New Zealand and Australia, we found a wry sense of humor that was just delightful and no better captured than with this duo. You don’t have to be in New Zealand to enjoy them.

What I’m reading:

I don’t often reread. For two reasons: A) I have so many books on my “still to be read” pile that it seems daunting to also rereadbooks I loved before, and B) it’s because I loved them once that I’m a little afraid to read them again. That said, I was recently asked to list my favorite book of all time and I answered Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina. But I don’t really know if that’s still true (and it’s an impossible question anyway – favorite book? On what day? In what mood?), so I’m rereading it and it feels like being with an old friend. It has one of my very favorite scenes ever: the card game between Levin and Kitty that leads to the proposal and his joyous walking the streets all night.

What I’m watching:

Blindspotting is billed as a buddy-comedy. Wow does that undersell it and the drama is often gripping. I loved Daveed Diggs in Hamilton, didn’t like his character in Black-ish, and think he is transcendent in this film he co-wrote with Rafael Casal, his co-star. The film is a love song to Oakland in many ways, but also a gut-wrenching indictment of police brutality, systemic racism and bias, and gentrification. The film has the freshness and raw visceral impact of Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing. A great soundtrack, genre mixing, and energy make it one of my favorite movies of 2018.

October 15, 2018

What I’m listening to:

We had the opportunity to see our favorite band, The National, live in Dallas two weeks ago. Just after watching Mistaken for Strangers, the documentary sort of about the band. So we’ve spent a lot of time going back into their earlier work, listening to songs we don’t know well, and reaffirming that their musicality, smarts, and sound are both original and astoundingly good. They did not disappoint in concert and it is a good thing their tour ended, as we might just spend all of our time and money following them around. Matt Berninger is a genius and his lead vocals kill me (and because they are in my range, I can actually sing along!). Their arrangements are profoundly good and go right to whatever brain/heart wiring that pulls one in and doesn’t let them go.

What I’m reading:

Who is Richard Powers and why have I only discovered him now, with his 12th book? Overstory is profoundly good, a book that is essential and powerful and makes me look at my everyday world in new ways. In short, a dizzying example of how powerful can be narrative in the hands of a master storyteller. I hesitate to say it’s the best environmental novel I’ve ever read (it is), because that would put this book in a category. It is surely about the natural world, but it is as much about we humans. It’s monumental and elegiac and wondrous at all once. Cancel your day’s schedule and read it now. Then plant a tree. A lot of them.

What I’m watching:

Bo Burnham wrote and directed Eighth Grade and Elsie Fisher is nothing less than amazing as its star (what’s with these new child actors; see Florida Project). It’s funny and painful and touching. It’s also the single best film treatment that I have seen of what it means to grow up in a social media shaped world. It’s a reminder that growing up is hard. Maybe harder now in a world of relentless, layered digital pressure to curate perfect lives that are far removed from the natural messy worlds and selves we actually inhabit. It’s a well-deserved 98% on Rotten Tomatoes and I wonder who dinged it for the missing 2%.

September 7, 2018

What I’m listening to:

With a cover pointing back to the Beastie Boys’ 1986 Licensed to Ill, Eminem’s quietly released Kamikaze is not my usual taste, but I’ve always admired him for his “all out there” willingness to be personal, to call people out, and his sheer genius with language. I thought Daveed Diggs could rap fast, but Eminem is supersonic at moments, and still finds room for melody. Love that he includes Joyner Lucas, whose “I’m Not Racist” gets added to the growing list of simply amazing music videos commenting on race in America. There are endless reasons why I am the least likely Eminem fan, but when no one is around to make fun of me, I’ll put it on again.

What I’m reading:

Lesley Blume’s Everyone Behaves Badly, which is the story behind Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises and his time in 1920s Paris (oh, what a time – see Midnight in Paris if you haven’t already). Of course, Blume disabuses my romantic ideas of that time and place and everyone is sort of (or profoundly so) a jerk, especially…no spoiler here…Hemingway. That said, it is a compelling read and coming off the Henry James inspired prose of Mrs. Osmond, it made me appreciate more how groundbreaking was Hemingway’s modern prose style. Like his contemporary Picasso, he reinvented the art and it can be easy to forget, these decades later, how profound was the change and its impact. And it has bullfights.

What I’m watching:

Chloé Zhao’s The Rider is just exceptional. It’s filmed on the Pine Ridge Reservation, which provides a stunning landscape, and it feels like a classic western reinvented for our times. The main characters are played by the real-life people who inspired this narrative (but feels like a documentary) film. Brady Jandreau, playing himself really, owns the screen. It’s about manhood, honor codes, loss, and resilience – rendered in sensitive, nuanced, and heartfelt ways. It feels like it could be about large swaths of America today. Really powerful.

August 16, 2018

What I’m listening to:

In my Spotify Daily Mix was Percy Sledge’s When A Man Loves A Woman, one of the world’s greatest love songs. Go online and read the story of how the song was discovered and recorded. There are competing accounts, but Sledge said he improvised it after a bad breakup. It has that kind of aching spontaneity. It is another hit from Muscle Shoals, Alabama, one of the GREAT music hotbeds, along with Detroit, Nashville, and Memphis. Our February Board meeting is in Alabama and I may finally have to do the pilgrimage road trip to Muscle Shoals and then Memphis, dropping in for Sunday services at the church where Rev. Al Green still preaches and sings. If the music is all like this, I will be saved.

What I’m reading:

John Banville’s Mrs. Osmond, his homage to literary idol Henry James and an imagined sequel to James’ 1881 masterpiece Portrait of a Lady. Go online and read the first paragraph of Chapter 25. He is…profoundly good. Makes me want to never write again, since anything I attempt will feel like some other, lowly activity in comparison to his mastery of language, image, syntax. This is slow reading, every sentence to be savored.

What I’m watching:

I’ve always respected Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, but we just watched the documentary RGB. It is over-the-top great and she is now one of my heroes. A superwoman in many ways and the documentary is really well done. There are lots of scenes of her speaking to crowds and the way young women, especially law students, look at her is touching. And you can’t help but fall in love with her now late husband Marty. See this movie and be reminded of how important is the Law.

July 23, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Spotify’s Summer Acoustic playlist has been on repeat quite a lot. What a fun way to listen to artists new to me, including The Paper Kites, Hollow Coves, and Fleet Foxes, as well as old favorites like Leon Bridges and Jose Gonzalez. Pretty chill when dialing back to a summer pace, dining on the screen porch or reading a book.

What I’m reading:

Bryan Stevenson’s Just Mercy. Founder of the Equal Justice Initiative, Stevenson tells of the racial injustice (and the war on the poor our judicial system perpetuates as well) that he discovered as a young graduate from Harvard Law School and his fight to address it. It is in turn heartbreaking, enraging, and inspiring. It is also about mercy and empathy and justice that reads like a novel. Brilliant.

What I’m watching:

Fauda. We watched season one of this Israeli thriller. It was much discussed in Israel because while it focuses on an ex-special agent who comes out of retirement to track down a Palestinian terrorist, it was willing to reveal the complexity, richness, and emotions of Palestinian lives. And the occasional brutality of the Israelis. Pretty controversial stuff in Israel. Lior Raz plays Doron, the main character, and is compelling and tough and often hard to like. He’s a mess. As is the world in which he has to operate. We really liked it, and also felt guilty because while it may have been brave in its treatment of Palestinians within the Israeli context, it falls back into some tired tropes and ultimately falls short on this front.

June 11, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Like everyone else, I’m listening to Pusha T drop the mic on Drake. Okay, not really, but do I get some points for even knowing that? We all walk around with songs that immediately bring us back to a time or a place. Songs are time machines. We are coming up on Father’s Day. My own dad passed away on Father’s Day back in 1994 and I remembering dutifully getting through the wake and funeral and being strong throughout. Then, sitting alone in our kitchen, Don Henley’s The End of the Innocence came on and I lost it. When you lose a parent for the first time (most of us have two after all) we lose our innocence and in that passage, we suddenly feel adult in a new way (no matter how old we are), a longing for our own childhood, and a need to forgive and be forgiven. Listen to the lyrics and you’ll understand. As Wordsworth reminds us in In Memoriam, there are seasons to our grief and, all these years later, this song no longer hits me in the gut, but does transport me back with loving memories of my father. I’ll play it Father’s Day.

What I’m reading:

The Fifth Season, by N. K. Jemisin. I am not a reader of fantasy or sci-fi, though I understand they can be powerful vehicles for addressing the very real challenges of the world in which we actually live. I’m not sure I know of a more vivid and gripping illustration of that fact than N. K. Jemisin’s Hugo Award winning novel The Fifth Season, first in her Broken Earth trilogy. It is astounding. It is the fantasy parallel to The Underground Railroad, my favorite recent read, a depiction of subjugation, power, casual violence, and a broken world in which our hero(s) struggle, suffer mightily, and still, somehow, give us hope. It is a tour de force book. How can someone be this good a writer? The first 30 pages pained me (always with this genre, one must learn a new, constructed world, and all of its operating physics and systems of order), and then I could not put it down. I panicked as I neared the end, not wanting to finish the book, and quickly ordered the Obelisk Gate, the second novel in the trilogy, and I can tell you now that I’ll be spending some goodly portion of my weekend in Jemisin’s other world.

What I’m watching:

The NBA Finals and perhaps the best basketball player of this generation. I’ve come to deeply respect LeBron James as a person, a force for social good, and now as an extraordinary player at the peak of his powers. His superhuman play during the NBA playoffs now ranks with the all-time greats, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, MJ, Kobe, and the demi-god that was Bill Russell. That his Cavs lost in a 4-game sweep is no surprise. It was a mediocre team being carried on the wide shoulders of James (and matched against one of the greatest teams ever, the Warriors, and the Harry Potter of basketball, Steph Curry) and, in some strange way, his greatness is amplified by the contrast with the rest of his team. It was a great run.

May 24, 2018

What I’m listening to:

I’ve always liked Alicia Keys and admired her social activism, but I am hooked on her last album Here. This feels like an album finally commensurate with her anger, activism, hope, and grit. More R&B and Hip Hop than is typical for her, I think this album moves into an echelon inhabited by a Marvin Gaye’s What’s Going On or Beyonce’s Formation. Social activism and outrage rarely make great novels, but they often fuel great popular music. Here is a terrific example.

What I’m reading:

Colson Whitehead’s Underground Railroad may be close to a flawless novel. Winner of the 2017 Pulitzer, it chronicles the lives of two runaway slaves, Cora and Caeser, as they try to escape the hell of plantation life in Georgia. It is an often searing novel and Cora is one of the great heroes of American literature. I would make this mandatory reading in every high school in America, especially in light of the absurd revisionist narratives of “happy and well cared for” slaves. This is a genuinely great novel, one of the best I’ve read, the magical realism and conflating of time periods lifts it to another realm of social commentary, relevance, and a blazing indictment of America’s Original Sin, for which we remain unabsolved.

What I’m watching:

I thought I knew about The Pentagon Papers, but The Post, a real-life political thriller from Steven Spielberg taught me a lot, features some of our greatest actors, and is so timely given the assault on our democratic institutions and with a presidency out of control. It is a reminder that a free and fearless press is a powerful part of our democracy, always among the first targets of despots everywhere. The story revolves around the legendary Post owner and D.C. doyenne, Katharine Graham. I had the opportunity to see her son, Don Graham, right after he saw the film, and he raved about Meryl Streep’s portrayal of his mother. Liked it a lot more than I expected.

April 27, 2018

What I’m listening to:

I mentioned John Prine in a recent post and then on the heels of that mention, he has released a new album, The Tree of Forgiveness, his first new album in ten years. Prine is beloved by other singer songwriters and often praised by the inscrutable God that is Bob Dylan. Indeed, Prine was frequently said to be the “next Bob Dylan” in the early part of his career, though he instead carved out his own respectable career and voice, if never with the dizzying success of Dylan. The new album reflects a man in his 70s, a cancer survivor, who reflects on life and its end, but with the good humor and empathy that are hallmarks of Prine’s music. “When I Get To Heaven” is a rollicking, fun vision of what comes next and a pure delight. A charming, warm, and often terrific album.

What I’m reading:

I recently read Min Jin Lee’s Pachinko, on many people’s Top Ten lists for last year and for good reason. It is sprawling, multi-generational, and based in the world of Japanese occupied Korea and then in the Korean immigrant’s world of Oaska, so our key characters become “tweeners,” accepted in neither world. It’s often unspeakably sad, and yet there is resiliency and love. There is also intimacy, despite the time and geographic span of the novel. It’s breathtakingly good and like all good novels, transporting.

What I’m watching:

I adore Guillermo del Toro’s 2006 film, Pan’s Labyrinth, and while I’m not sure his Shape of Water is better, it is a worthy follow up to the earlier masterpiece (and more of a commercial success). Lots of critics dislike the film, but I’m okay with a simple retelling of a Beauty and the Beast love story, as predictable as it might be. The acting is terrific, it is visually stunning, and there are layers of pain as well as social and political commentary (the setting is the US during the Cold War) and, no real spoiler here, the real monsters are humans, the military officer who sees over the captured aquatic creature. It is hauntingly beautiful and its depiction of hatred to those who are different or “other” is painfully resonant with the time in which we live. Put this on your “must see” list.

March 18, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Sitting on a plane for hours (and many more to go; geez, Australia is far away) is a great opportunity to listen to new music and to revisit old favorites. This time, it is Lucy Dacus and her album Historians, the new sophomore release from a 22-year old indie artist that writes with relatable, real-life lyrics. Just on a second listen and while she insists this isn’t a break up record (as we know, 50% of all great songs are break up songs), it is full of loss and pain. Worth the listen so far. For the way back machine, it’s John Prine and In Spite of Ourselves (that title track is one of the great love songs of all time), a collection of duets with some of his “favorite girl singers” as he once described them. I have a crush on Iris Dement (for a really righteously angry song try her Wasteland of the Free), but there is also EmmyLou Harris, the incomparable Dolores Keane, and Lucinda Williams. Very different albums, both wonderful.

What I’m reading:

Jane Mayer’s New Yorker piece on Christopher Steele presents little that is new, but she pulls it together in a terrific and coherent whole that is illuminating and troubling at the same time. Not only for what is happening, but for the complicity of the far right in trying to discredit that which should be setting off alarm bells everywhere. Bob Mueller may be the most important defender of the democracy at this time. A must read.

What I’m watching:

Homeland is killing it this season and is prescient, hauntingly so. Russian election interference, a Bannon-style hate radio demagogue, alienated and gun toting militia types, and a president out of control. It’s fabulous, even if it feels awfully close to the evening news.

March 8, 2018

What I’m listening to:

We have a family challenge to compile our Top 100 songs. It is painful. Only 100? No more than three songs by one artist? Wait, why is M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” on my list? Should it just be The Clash from whom she samples? Can I admit to guilty pleasure songs? Hey, it’s my list and I can put anything I want on it. So I’m listening to the list while I work and the song playing right now is Tom Petty’s “The Wild One, Forever,” a B-side single that was never a hit and that remains my favorite Petty song. Also, “Evangeline” by Los Lobos. It evokes a night many years ago, with friends at Pearl Street in Northampton, MA, when everyone danced well past 1AM in a hot, sweaty, packed club and the band was a revelation. Maybe the best music night of our lives and a reminder that one’s 100 Favorite Songs list is as much about what you were doing and where you were in your life when those songs were playing as it is about the music. It’s not a list. It’s a soundtrack for this journey.

What I’m reading:

Patricia Lockwood’s Priestdaddy was in the NY Times top ten books of 2017 list and it is easy to see why. Lockwood brings remarkable and often surprising imagery, metaphor, and language to her prose memoir and it actually threw me off at first. It then all became clear when someone told me she is a poet. The book is laugh aloud funny, which masks (or makes safer anyway) some pretty dark territory. Anyone who grew up Catholic, whether lapsed or not, will resonate with her story. She can’t resist a bawdy anecdote and her family provides some of the most memorable characters possible, especially her father, her sister, and her mother, who I came to adore. Best thing I’ve read in ages.

What I’m watching:

The Florida Project, a profoundly good movie on so many levels. Start with the central character, six-year old (at the time of the filming) Brooklynn Prince, who owns – I mean really owns – the screen. This is pure acting genius and at that age? Astounding. Almost as astounding is Bria Vinaite, who plays her mother. She was discovered on Instagram and had never acted before this role, which she did with just three weeks of acting lessons. She is utterly convincing and the tension between the child’s absolute wonder and joy in the world with her mother’s struggle to provide, to be a mother, is heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once. Willem Dafoe rightly received an Oscar nomination for his supporting role. This is a terrific movie.

February 12, 2018

What I’m listening to:

So, I have a lot of friends of age (I know you’re thinking 40s, but I just turned 60) who are frozen in whatever era of music they enjoyed in college or maybe even in their thirties. There are lots of times when I reach back into the catalog, since music is one of those really powerful and transporting senses that can take you through time (smell is the other one, though often underappreciated for that power). Hell, I just bought a turntable and now spending time in vintage vinyl shops. But I’m trying to take a lesson from Pat, who revels in new music and can as easily talk about North African rap music and the latest National album as Meet the Beatles, her first ever album. So, I’ve been listening to Kendrick Lamar’s Grammy winning Damn. While it may not be the first thing I’ll reach for on a winter night in Maine, by the fire, I was taken with it. It’s layered, political, and weirdly sensitive and misogynist at the same time, and it feels fresh and authentic and smart at the same time, with music that often pulled me from what I was doing. In short, everything music should do. I’m not a bit cooler for listening to Damn, but when I followed it with Steely Dan, I felt like I was listening to Lawrence Welk. A good sign, I think.

What I’m reading:

I am reading Walter Isaacson’s new biography of Leonardo da Vinci. I’m not usually a reader of biographies, but I’ve always been taken with Leonardo. Isaacson does not disappoint (does he ever?), and his subject is at once more human and accessible and more awe-inspiring in Isaacson’s capable hands. Gay, left-handed, vegetarian, incapable of finishing things, a wonderful conversationalist, kind, and perhaps the most relentlessly curious human being who has ever lived. Like his biographies of Steve Jobs and Albert Einstein, Isaacson’s project here is to show that genius lives at the intersection of science and art, of rationality and creativity. Highly recommend it.

What I’m watching:

We watched the This Is Us post-Super Bowl episode, the one where Jack finally buys the farm. I really want to hate this show. It is melodramatic and manipulative, with characters that mostly never change or grow, and it hooks me every damn time we watch it. The episode last Sunday was a tear jerker, a double whammy intended to render into a blubbering, tissue-crumbling pathetic mess anyone who has lost a parent or who is a parent. Sterling K. Brown, Ron Cephas Jones, the surprising Mandy Moore, and Milo Ventimiglia are hard not to love and last season’s episode that had only Brown and Cephas going to Memphis was the show at its best (they are by far the two best actors). Last week was the show at its best worst. In other words, I want to hate it, but I love it. If you haven’t seen it, don’t binge watch it. You’ll need therapy and insulin.

January 15, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Drive-By Truckers. Chris Stapleton has me on an unusual (for me) country theme and I discovered these guys to my great delight. They’ve been around, with some 11 albums, but the newest one is fascinating. It’s a deep dive into Southern alienation and the white working-class world often associated with our current president. I admire the willingness to lay bare, in kick ass rock songs, the complexities and pain at work among people we too quickly place into overly simple categories. These guys are brave, bold, and thoughtful as hell, while producing songs I didn’t expect to like, but that I keep playing. And they are coming to NH.

What I’m reading:

A textual analog to Drive-By Truckers by Chris Stapleton in many ways is Tony Horowitz’s 1998 Pulitzer Prize winning Confederates in the Attic. Ostensibly about the Civil War and the South’s ongoing attachment to it, it is prescient and speaks eloquently to the times in which we live (where every southern state but Virginia voted for President Trump). Often hilarious, it too surfaces complexities and nuance that escape a more recent, and widely acclaimed, book like Hillbilly Elegy. As a Civil War fan, it was also astonishing in many instances, especially when it blows apart long-held “truths” about the war, such as the degree to which Sherman burned down the south (he did not). Like D-B Truckers, Horowitz loves the South and the people he encounters, even as he grapples with its myths of victimhood and exceptionalism (and racism, which may be no more than the racism in the north, but of a different kind). Everyone should read this book and I’m embarrassed I’m so late to it.

What I’m watching:

David Letterman has a new Netflix show called “My Next Guest Needs No Introduction” and we watched the first episode, in which Letterman interviewed Barack Obama. It was extraordinary (if you don’t have Netflix, get it just to watch this show); not only because we were reminded of Obama’s smarts, grace, and humanity (and humor), but because we saw a side of Letterman we didn’t know existed. His personal reflections on Selma were raw and powerful, almost painful. He will do five more episodes with “extraordinary individuals” and if they are anything like the first, this might be the very best work of his career and one of the best things on television.

December 22, 2017

What I’m reading:

Just finished Sunjeev Sahota’s Year of the Runaways, a painful inside look at the plight of illegal Indian immigrant workers in Britain. It was shortlisted for 2015 Man Booker Prize and its transporting, often to a dark and painful universe, and it is impossible not to think about the American version of this story and the terrible way we treat the undocumented in our own country, especially now.

What I’m watching:

Season II of The Crown is even better than Season I. Elizabeth’s character is becoming more three-dimensional, the modern world is catching up with tradition-bound Britain, and Cold War politics offer more context and tension than we saw in Season I. Claire Foy, in her last season, is just terrific – one arched eye brow can send a message.

What I’m listening to:

A lot of Christmas music, but needing a break from the schmaltz, I’ve discovered Over the Rhine and their Christmas album, Snow Angels. God, these guys are good.

November 14, 2017

What I’m watching:

Guiltily, I watch the Patriots play every weekend, often building my schedule and plans around seeing the game. Why the guilt? I don’t know how morally defensible is football anymore, as we now know the severe damage it does to the players. We can’t pretend it’s all okay anymore. Is this our version of late decadent Rome, watching mostly young Black men take a terrible toll on each other for our mere entertainment?

What I’m reading:

Recently finished J.G. Ballard’s 2000 novel Super-Cannes, a powerful depiction of a corporate-tech ex-pat community taken over by a kind of psychopathology, in which all social norms and responsibilities are surrendered to residents of the new world community. Kept thinking about Silicon Valley when reading it. Pretty dark, dystopian view of the modern world and centered around a mass killing, troublingly prescient.

What I’m listening to:

Was never really a Lorde fan, only knowing her catchy (and smarter than you might first guess) pop hit “Royals” from her debut album. But her new album, Melodrama, is terrific and it doesn’t feel quite right to call this “pop.” There is something way more substantial going on with Lorde and I can see why many critics put this album at the top of their Best in 2017 list. Count me in as a huge fan.

November 3, 2017

What I’m reading: Just finished Celeste Ng’s Little Fires Everywhere, her breathtakingly good second novel. How is someone so young so wise? Her writing is near perfection and I read the book in two days, setting my alarm for 4:30AM so I could finish it before work.

What I’m watching: We just binge watched season two of Stranger Things and it was worth it just to watch Millie Bobbie Brown, the transcendent young actor who plays Eleven. The series is a delightful mash up of every great eighties horror genre you can imagine and while pretty dark, an absolute joy to watch.

What I’m listening to: I’m not a lover of country music (to say the least), but I love Chris Stapleton. His “The Last Thing I Needed, First Thing This Morning” is heartbreakingly good and reminds me of the old school country that played in my house as a kid. He has a new album and I can’t wait, but his From A Room: Volume 1 is on repeat for now.

September 26, 2017

What I’m reading:

Just finished George Saunder’s Lincoln in the Bardo. It took me a while to accept its cadence and sheer weirdness, but loved it in the end. A painful meditation on loss and grief, and a genuinely beautiful exploration of the intersection of life and death, the difficulty of letting go of what was, good and bad, and what never came to be.

What I’m watching:

HBO’s The Deuce. Times Square and the beginning of the porn industry in the 1970s, the setting made me wonder if this was really something I’d want to see. But David Simon is the writer and I’d read a menu if he wrote it. It does not disappoint so far and there is nothing prurient about it.

What I’m listening to:

The National’s new album Sleep Well Beast. I love this band. The opening piano notes of the first song, “Nobody Else Will Be There,” seize me & I’m reminded that no one else in music today matches their arrangement & musicianship. I’m adding “Born to Beg,” “Slow Show,” “I Need My Girl,” and “Runaway” to my list of favorite love songs.

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guidetoenjoy-blog · 5 years

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What makes celebrity meltdowns entertainment instead of tragedy? | David Ferguson

New Post has been published on https://entertainmentguideto.com/must-see/what-makes-celebrity-meltdowns-entertainment-instead-of-tragedy-david-ferguson/

What makes celebrity meltdowns entertainment instead of tragedy? | David Ferguson

Spurned in the Grammy nominations shortly after a hospital stay, Kanye West is just the latest celeb whose mental health is tabloid gold

When I was in my 20s, I remember my therapist patiently listening to me complain about how out-of-my-depth I often felt around other gay men. I was asking her why they always seemed so effortlessly aloof and cool, whereas I was and to some extent, still am a slobbering golden retriever of a person, quivering with eagerness to be your new best friend.

Youll waste a lot of time and spoil a lot of happiness comparing your insides to other peoples outsides, she told me.

I think about this a lot when I see famous people rock stars, celebrities, politicians going into meltdown mode. Trainwreck TV is one of our cultures most avid pleasures. In the words of Edina Monsoon from Absolutely Fabulous, Its the only blood sport they havent banned, darling.

Right now, everyone is waiting to see what the next eruption from Kanye West will be now that hes out of the hospital after months some would say years of erratic behavior, bizarre concert spectacles and public meltdowns. Its almost expected, since the Grammy nominations were announced this week and West was again shut out of the major categories.

A few years ago the spectacle du jour was Amanda Bynes, and before that, Britney Spears when she shaved her head and ended up under psychiatric care.

Weve shaken our heads and tutted over the breakdowns of Mariah Carey and Courtney Love, Amy Winehouse and Gary Busey, Katt Williams and Dave Chappelle, Lindsay Lohan and Anna Nicole Smith any celebrities who have had the misfortune to exhibit symptoms of mental illness while living in the public eye.

We take a certain sanctimonious pleasure in these peoples public disintegration and show shockingly little compassion, as though their wildly successful careers and personal fortunes make their pain more acceptable than that of mere mortals.

If a random woman we dont know starts babbling nonsense and getting hysterical while were out shopping, its tragic. We avert our eyes. We tell our families when we get home how unsettling and upsetting it was. But when Spears does it, its a Rolling Stone cover story that we consume with the eagerness of kids tearing into a bag of candy.

Its the same mentality that allows a racist troll like Milo Yiannopoulos to airily wave away the steaming, reeking mountain of harassment his followers and supporters firehosed at Saturday Night Live and Ghostbusters actress Leslie Jones, mostly on Twitter. Leslie Jones is a rich and famous actress; who cares if people say nasty things about her on the internet?

At what point do we stop valuing celebrities humanity?

Is it an income-level thing? Kanye West has got a lot of money. Hes one of the most well-known performers on the planet who isnt Beyonc or Beyonc-adjacent. He has broken paradigms and yes, over-extended his brand, as it were, in a couple of areas, but hes also a creative young person with a young family under tremendous pressure who lost his beloved mother nine years ago.

He has written openly about his love for liquor, cocaine and other intoxicants. It does not take a tremendous amount of imagination to piece together what may have happened here to a stressed-out artist in pain.

Lets pretend for a moment that it isnt Kanye West, but Keith West, who you knew in college who works for a life insurance company now. What if his mother died in surgery and he began a multi-year downward spiral?

Would you be gawking if Keith got placed on involuntary hold in a psychiatric unit? Would you be sharing links about Keith on Twitter and Facebook and marveling that someone could become such a mess?

Kanye West may be, as President Obama once said, a jackass from time to time. But hes also still a person.

Millions of dollars in the bank doesnt mean anything when you want your mom and shes gone, I suspect, any more than the significantly less princely sum in my own checking account does. You cant buy five more minutes to be with your dead mom for any amount of money, large or small.

So, maybe the next time you start to click on that Perez Hilton link about whichever celebritys mind has most recently hit the big bug-zapper, take a second. Ask yourself how youd feel if your lifes most humiliating, confused, disoriented moment was out there for public amusement.

If the person suffering at the other end of that hyperlink was Keith and not Kanye, would you still click it?

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

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fitnessexpert00-blog · 6 years

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11 Fitness Tips & Tricks To Battle Wedding/Production Day Hangover

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11 Fitness Tips & Tricks To Battle Wedding/Production Day Hangover

Health and wellness is a consideration every professional photographer should take into account to be the best possible versions of themselves. As photographers, we can find ourselves in odd positions or hiking miles for the perfect photos. Add in the additional weight of the photography gear we carry and the hours we carry it, and you have the perfect storm for soreness, fatigue, and what we in the wedding industry call a “Wedding Hangover.”

Learning how to combat the dreaded post-shoot fatigue is something every photographer can benefit from, regardless of niche. I’ve caught up with some of the best photographers in the industry and asked them how they battle this very real issue, so check out what they had to say on how they keep themselves in the best shape to create amazing photos. I hope their answers will inspire all of us to continue to work to be the best versions of ourselves for not only our clients and our livelihoods, but for ourselves as well!

Anna Nguyen Stratton – Website | Instagram

“Don’t ever forget that your mental health is just as important as your physical health. You should try to take care of both so that you are performing at your absolute best. It can take a huge toll creatively if your mind is feeling weighed down by the stress of running a business and emotionally being there for your clients. A few ideas that have worked well for me in the past are journaling, taking an electronics/social media break, seeing a therapist, and getting monthly massages (this is two-fold benefits!). There are lots of ways to take time for yourself, find the one that works best for you! I also find that clearing my system of sugary drinks or caffeine until the 11th hour (haha) on a wedding day (that little bit of soda for that extra push!) with drinking lots of water (at least half your body weight in oz) 2-3 days and on the day of the wedding not only keep me from becoming dehydrated, getting tired faster, but it also helps clear my mind so I can be creative. I pack with me a 30oz bottle with a straw built in that I drink from on the day of and I refill as necessary.”

Jared Gant – Website | Instagram

“A little over two years ago, I cut all refined sugar and nearly all sugar from my diet. This single adjustment has changed my health (and, without being overly dramatic, my life). My energy level, ability to focus, quality of sleep, among other things have all benefited. I don’t find wedding days to be physically difficult, but what I struggle with is a sore back from sitting at my desk for hours editing and completing other photography-related tasks. I have found that getting up at least once an hour and moving around, paired with 10-15 min of stretching daily, has drastically minimized that discomfort. This is something that anyone could do. Additionally, I enjoy lifting free weights. For less than $100, you can buy a simple set and work out where and when you want. They’re inexpensive, portable, and really you can keep a set in your office and knock out a few sets whenever you have time.”

Brian Mullins – Website | Instagram

“I’m in my 40’s and in my 14 years spent as a photographer, I’ve suffered 2 torn rotator cuff injuries (partial tears) from shooting too much. One of my tears came from working out TOO much and not giving myself enough rest. The other came from simply overshooting and overworking. Both injuries boiled down to one simple thing, not taking care of myself and listening to my body. I’ve found there is no magic bullet for staying in shape but one thing holds true, everything in moderation.

Let’s face it, wedding photography is a physically (and mentally) taxing career. If you don’t adequately prepare for its rigors and listen to what your body is telling you, it will make the choice for you and prevent you from working.

For me, a good diet including lots of veggies, good clean sources of protein, LOTS of water (half my body weight in oz daily) and watching the caffeine intake (which admittedly is a problem). There are some weekends where I will shoot 3-8 hour weddings back to back. It’s amazing how much better I feel on morning #2 and even morning #3 simply by changing my diet. I’m still absolutely wrecked at the end of those weekends but functional. Compared to before where I would literally need a day to recover.

Exercise is really different for each person. I’ve hit the weights, run 5k’s, kickboxing and even just tried being “active”. Every time I’ve been injured it’s from going too far into one thing. Balance really is key, especially as you get older. So now I run a couple of times a week, hit the weights a couple times a week and kickbox the others. If I’m feeling really run down or weak, I’ll still go but won’t push myself.”

Citlalli Rico – Website | Instagram

“I had to change my diet drastically 4 years ago and started working with my beloved nutritionist who gave me an awesome recipe for a “day after wedding” smoothie. It works like magic:

2 cups of spinach 1 or 2 bananas 1 teaspoon of peanut butter 1 tablespoon of ground flaxseed 1 tablespoon of vegetarian protein powder

It helps your body and your brain after a long day of intense thinking and moving.”

Vanessa Joy – Website | Instagram

“I do yoga! Yoga specificities for Photographers actually. It targets exactly where my problem areas are and strengths and stretches them. There are tons you can do by my fav is the Post Wedding Hangover that you can find right here!”

Amii & Andy Kauth – Website | Instagram

“Besides chasing 5 children around every day? We have a well-equipped garage gym (used to do CrossFit back in the day), train jiu-jitsu, and eat clean (mostly). We’re also getting back into snowboarding this winter + surfing in 2019! We’re in our upper 30s (Amii)/low 40s (Andy), and we think we’re 20 … probably act like it too (more often than not). We attribute it all to regular exercise, eating well, and having positive attitudes.”

Megan Allen – Website | Instagram

Image by: Jason Vinson

“As a wedding photographer, I used to have the most brutal, hit-by-a-mack-truck wedding hangovers the day after a wedding. I was sore, emotionally tapped out, and it really took a full 24 hours for me to feel back to “normal” after a wedding day. Coming from being a collegiate athlete to having my butt kicked by a single day event was a wakeup call for me for my overall health, not just on the wedding days, but every day. I found myself getting winded on adventure shoots with my couples, and I realized, if I want them to climb a mountain with me, I have to be able to physically climb the mountain myself, and not be a health risk in the process! After a year of struggling, I really examined myself, my goals personally and for my business, and hired a personal trainer. He got me on the right track in both the gym and nutrition (spoiler alert: when you’re 30+, you can’t eat the cookie dough at midnight like you did when you were 20 and running 3+ miles a day for basketball), and I began to feel completely different, both on wedding days and every day. I now work out with weights 4-5x a week, focusing on a different area each day, as well as a few days of cardio, be it stairs, the treadmill, or a bike. Nutritionally, I watch my macro intake, choosing to go for a high protein diet that allows me to fuel my days in a solid manner, and not just go for that 5th cup of coffee to spur the next 3 hours. I’ve felt a huge shift in my ability to move and stay engaged on a wedding day, and I also don’t feel the wedding hangover blues nearly as much — it has to be one heck of a wedding for me to be sore the day after now!”

Shivani Reddy – Website | Instagram

“As photographers, we are on our feet anywhere from 10-20 hours. This has horrible consequences for several parts of our body and requires some TLC to alleviate the pain. After you’ve come back home and showered, (hopefully that is part of your post-shooting routine), lie in bed on your back and elevate your legs so the blood rushes down. Flex and point your toes to roll your feet in clockwise & counter-clockwise movements. Then, flex and grab the arch of your foot and pull it down towards your chest. I learned this trick from years as a dancer, being on my feet and placing immense pressure on them for hours on end. Stretching all over is always a good idea (yoga is golden for post-shooting days!), especially if you are carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders and back!”

Sean LeBlanc – Website | Instagram

“To stay fit throughout the year, I play ice hockey twice a week. I grew up playing hockey (almost made it to minor pro) and have a love for the game. Hockey provides a great cardio workout and really helps clear your mind while having a lot of fun with good friends and colleagues. My wife and I both run our businesses from home and have two young busy boys so we get up early to get our workouts and hockey games into our schedule. My wife will stay home with the boys while I head to the hockey rink for a 6:45AM game and vice versa (except my wife hits the gym). Then when I get home I feel energized and ready to tackle the day.”

Pye Jirsa – Website | Instagram

“Wedding and production days are one-part creative, and one-part construction worker. They are grueling days that would leave me with back injuries, shoulder pain, and aching knees. Interestingly, it all went away with strength training. In 2014 I decided to make a lifestyle change by eating clean and regularly doing HIIT. Within months, the back injuries vanished, I felt light on my feet, and I could lift significantly more weight without tiring. The day after, or even night after production, I could still go running for miles. Today, here’s what my regiment looks like:

1. Sunday Meal Prep (low-fat/low-carb) 2. Mon (Chest/Back), Tues (Legs), Wed (Shoulders/Arms), Thurs (Core) 3. Yoga 1-2x per week for flexibility/recovery”

Eric Talerico – Website | Instagram

Image by: Gennaro Ditto

“This year I will be 40 and I’ve never felt better in my life. Training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for the past 7 years has taught me a lot about myself and my health. I know how far I can push my body before it breaks, literally, and how to prepare for extremely physical days that are required of a wedding photographer. Through much trial and error, I’ve learned that good health is a lifestyle, not a quick fix, and I feel best when adhering to a few basic principles. The first, and most important, is getting enough rest. I shoot for 8 hours every night, especially the days before weddings. I discovered that I am much more creative when well rested, which is important when you are a creative professional. Second is a healthy diet. Over the years I cut out processed foods, preservatives, vegetable oils, refined sugars and refined carbs from my diet. I also eat organic and natural if that option is available and only drink water and coffee. It’s not easy, and I’m not going lie, I have my cheat days, but following this routine on a consistent basis has worked wonders for my overall health. I also do intermittent fasting which helps with those long weddings days when you don’t have an opportunity to eat. The last is engaging in physical activity. It’s not so much the type of activity that is important but rather finding something that you are passionate about. If you are passionate about a physical activity the health benefits will be the easy part. I find that maintaining these 3 principles help keep me in tip-top shape, especially for those long wedding days.”

What are some of your favorite tips & tricks for battling post-shoot days?

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11 Fitness Tips & Tricks To Battle Wedding/Production Day Hangover

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