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liviavanrouge · 7 months

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Cave of Wonders Oc

@dibbledoodle

"A student of Scarabia who tends to up and vanish after class, unable to be found by professors and students until he pops up willingly"

Taleb Ansel

Gender: Male

Age: 19

Height: 187 cm

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Voice Actor: Kaito Ishikawa

Intro Line: "You came searching for me? Sorry I disappear a lot after school and club"

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Other names

-Tally(Jamil, Kalim)

-Tal(Cater)

-Nurse Shark(Floyd)

-Roi Du Ghost(Rook)

-Ghost Idiot(Leona)

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Star Sign: Leo

Birthday: August 18th

Homeland: Land of Scalding Sands

Species: Tiger Beastmen

Occupation: Student

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Grade: Senior(Held Back)

Class: 3-A

Club: Equestrian Club

Best Subject: Animal Linguistics

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Dominant Hand: Left

Hobbies: Disappearing easily

Pet Peeves: Liars

Favorite Food: Onioned Fish

Least Favorite Food: Anything with mushrooms

Talent: Telling truth from lie

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Family:

Taigar(Father)

Three unnamed younger siblings

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Appearance: Taleb is a tall young male with caramel skin and semi visible muscles. He has thick, yet silky, black hair with hints of blue and yellow at the tips and roots which he states is unusual for his kind. His eyes are a bright orange with a hint of red around his pupils. His hair is usually in a braid(During class) or a ponytail(Outside of class), with star clips that Kalim gave him a long time ago. As a ponytail he uses the hairband Jamil lended him when they were kids and has kept with him ever since then. Due to being a tiger beastman he has tiger ears instead of human ears but they're black with white stripes, alongside his tail.

Dorm Uniform: Taleb wears the standard Scarabia Uniform, but he's usually wearing black/red eye shadow given to him by Rook. His uniform consists of a black and red sleeveless jacket, an undershirt, a yellow belt, black parachute pants and black sneaker-sandals. HIs uniform comes with several gold accessories that he tends to not wear. He has stickers on his sneaker-sandals, the stickers given to him by his siblings.

The sleeveless jacket is cropped, and reaches the mid-torso. The jacket has a red underlining, wavy gold stripes on the sides, gold trim, and a red sailor-like collar with a black, wavy stripe along the sides. Connecting both sides of the jacket is one gold chain. Under the jacket is a black sleeveless hoodie with red underlining, gold hoodie strings with tassels at the ends, and a gold, wavy stripe along the top of the hood. Taleb has his hood half up during his time in the dorm, stating that sometimes its hard to keep it like that.

Taleb wears his yellow belt like a scarf with the ends going down his back to his waist. The belt has a silver buckle, and along with black stripes, has the word --Scarabia-- repeatedly printed on it. On both ends of the belt are small designs resembling a snake’s head and tail.

His black parachute pants have a red fire design near the bottom. Hanging over the pants on both hips are maroon pieces of fabric with an intricate gold design. The black sneaker-sandals have gold plating near the toe, and a large golden scarab in the center.

The uniform includes a few golden accessories, including a collar necklace, a bracelet, and a shoulder cuff worn on the right shoulder, shaped like a snake.

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Personality: Taleb is often commented to be closed off and rude towards others, but in reality he's not good at talking to people and secretly worries if they'll like him. He's lazy at times which is more often than not the reason why he disappears, with the other reason being that he loves to wonder and go wherever his feet takes him. He does have a more aggressive side, but it only appears when those he cares about is in danger or being treated wrongly.

He has a sense of justice, believing in innocent until proven guilty, and is willing to give the guilty party a second chance to redeem themselves and make up for their mistakes. He gets mad when others lie to him, finding it a meaningless thing to do, thus causing him to blow a fuse and snap at the liar instantly. He's fond of those who tell the truth, finding them to be reliable people and allies.

He's not good with those younger than him who are not his siblings, feeling awkward, afraid to be near them, or amused whenever he's with a younger student or someone else's kid, but nonetheless he is good with kids and able to calm them if anything happens. He's kind to the younger students and is willing to help out even if he's busy with them.

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Backstory: Taleb was nearly stillborn due to birthing complications but the Al-Asim family got the best healer(Thea Vanrouge) to come and help. His mother passed after giving birth to his youngest sibling but felt no resentment to the newborn child, instead helping his father care for them. He grew up with Kalim and Jamil for about four to seven years before his family decided to leave. He's given gifts by his two friends before he leaves, traveling across the sands with his family and learning how to survive in the vast sandy land.

He learned from his father on how to burrow into the sand and hide even though it'd be a bit difficult for him to hide his white stripes. His father called him a natural survivor despite not looking like other tiger beastmen and comments that he was proud of how his son would grow up.

Taleb would also take his siblings sand sledding, finding the biggest dune or pile of sand and sliding down it on whatever they could find.

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Signiture Spell: Taleb's spell is called "Truth or Lie." It allows him to see inside someones soul and see if they're more honest or more dishonest, those who are more Honest are given the option to have one wish that grants them anything except for another wish, love, or to bring back the dead. Those who are more Dishonest turns into sand for an hour. He is unable to properly use it on those with a balanced soul.

Spell: "Tell me Truth or Tell me Lie....Truth or Lie!"

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-Taleb got held back due to the fact that he'd walk out of classes and disappear for hours

-He likes having his hair played with

-Taleb is twisted from the Cave of Wonders, and is stated to possibly be a tiger-god due to his appearance

-He likes to sing lullabies to anyone younger than him that's willing to listen

-Floyd calls him Nurse Shark due to how great he was with kids, which was revealed in the first Halloween event

-Taleb is able to punch through a thick sheet of metal

-Had Taleb participated in saving Idia from Eliza he would've been able to take Idia's place

-Taleb means 'one who seeks for something', while Ansel means 'Gods protection', possibly hinting that Taleb is the new tiger god

@anxious-twisted-vampire @yukii0nna @writing-heiress @zexal-club @marrondrawsalot @abyssthing198 @teddymochi @pekoetiikapu

#disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland disney #twst disney #twst #twst wonderland #new oc #new oc just dropped #new oc who dis #new oc alert #ocs #twst oc #twistedwonderland #twisted oc #twisted wonderland #twst taleb #taleb ansel

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respiteresponse · 10 months

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dream needs to wear an emo collar choker asap. clawing at the walls thinking about it

my tierlist for scenemo items dream should wear:

F Tier: skinny jeans. HEAR ME OUT. his wide leg mall goth nu metal dragging on the floor catching under the heel of his shoe slay just fits him so well and as much as i would love to see his legs encapsulated by splitting fringing black denim i think his giant jeans are a statement and make him extra moe. he should wear more ripped and black jeans though ! ! !

D Tier: beanies and snapbacks. he already rocks the cat dreanies near daily and with the mask coming into the picture and everything being so joever for us hair appreciators, as sexy as he is with his beanies on and his curls peaking out me personally i just love when his whole ice cream scoop hair is on display ! can be improved with some rainbow cheetah print hair extensions and or a tiara : ) !

C Tier: off the hip belts, preferably studded. this is one of my most favorite and hottest things a person can do with their outfit ESP if theyre scenemo leaning but its not essential to make the scenemo kid style shine through. i can even accept some more normie type stuff like bb simons so long as its styled appropriately ! ! ! a want but not a need.

B Tier: tight fitted tees/band tees. droobs tastefully hidden behind an edgy stretched and distorted logo for pierce the veil or sleeping with sirens most likely purchased at hot topic 10 years ago, snatched waist on display for the whole world to admire and for george to grab WITH the added bonus that short sleeve shirts have a tendency to rise up due to their fit, so we could realistically even expect a glimpse of tummy and or boxers peaking out which only enhances the visuals on display. and his ARMS. preferably covers and curated by bracelets exclusively bought from spencers or gifted by fans if not by an either complimentary or uncomplimentary long sleeve/hoodie underneath.

A tier: eyeliner. a well understood and universally accepted staple in the scenemo community. and really the more the better ! ! a tasteful swipe of black pencil drug store eyeliner on the waterline of dreams bottom lids could only improve upon his looks as a 6'2" boy with glossy doe eyes and pink lips . but then you add to it, upper waterline to match the bottom, expand unto the skin of the eyelids, perhaps even try a wing if were feeling daring ! in an exceptionally crazy occasion we could go full raccoon, black from tail end of his eyebrow down to the start of where the crease of his bottom lid lies. he could eat jeffree stars ex scene queen ass up in about 0.5 nano seconds with that and some fake lashes, but thats just me ! irregardless, something so casual as a little makeup can go a long way in making someone hot 100x hotter 😋

S Tier: facial piercings. the possibilities here are quite literally endless. we start simple with nose, a ring through the nostril is a classic, super simple everyone is doing it, could have one of those and pass for someone who doesnt know jack shit about i set my friends on fire or dot dot curve, but then you go a little lower and things start to get fun. with a lip piercing, you can basically signal to any and everyone that youre an edgy kind of guy, not just anyone will put a needle through one of the most prominent and noticeable features of their face! dolphin bites, snake bites, shark bites, spider bites, literally any animal biting your lips will up your status as a queen of the scene. bonus points for a monroe or a tongue piercing, xxxxxtra hot imo😁 moving back up bridge is also a good option, particularly edgy and tough to find on anyone in day to day life, would give dream some uniqueness as if he was already in any need of that. eyebrow is always a safe option, anti eyebrow, tear drop etc all very very cool. but the most ultimate piercingf for dream in my opinion would be a simple yet head turning cheek piercing. a common factor to be found in most all of my scenemo dream drawings, it simply seems like it makes obvious sense for the guy whos whole branding is smiles to have piercings wear his dimples are ! ! when he smiles, the sun will not only catch on his astoundingly straight white teeth, but also on that of the jelwery adorning where his dimples lie.

GOD TIER:

#ask #anon #thanks for listening

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laalaaisqueen · 1 month

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Rewrite of the Cure AU-Chapter 2: The Journey

Where I make Unit travel with them. And Ron and Tobby get to live. And also my Unit is medically mute.

Tinky Winky shudders violently as he walks through the snow. While he had quickly pulled on his boots and pink hoodie before they left, it was so cold. Mildly jealous of Guardian’s fur since he didn’t seem affected by the cold at all.

“It’s so c...cold here that I doubt anything else lives h...here.” Its like a colder winter.

“That’s too bad, I wanted to kill something.” Po’s voice sounds next to his ear, this was mostly due to her riding on his shoulders.

She pans her red eyes on Guardian.

“U...Umm please don’t kill me I need to-”

“Yes, we know, you need to contact the military.” Tinky rolls his eyes. He’s like a broken record at this point, repeating the same things.

“Hello!” A high pitched voice makes everyone look around, very confused since it obviously wasn’t Po.

“Um, hi?” Tinky didn’t know if he wanted it to be a person, he was already breaking several rules. So he felt stupid.

All he got was a giggle in return. Now he was beginning to overthink this, what if it was a young child? But then why are they laughing instead of maybe crying for help?

“We should probably go the opposite direction.” Guardian spoke.

Tinky didn’t respond, just contuined biting his lip while staring ahead into the snowy fog.

“I think we should go in the other direction,” Po taps his hair, “it could be a trap.”

“...Alright, that’s probably a good idea.”

“That’s practically what I just said.”

“Yeah, but you’re not cute like me.” Po flashes her fangs at Guardian.

“It’s mostly because he’s been living under a rock but let’s go with that.” He walks away from the voice is coming from.

Guardian trails behind him with a pout. Ten seconds later he ran into a problem, his white eyes couldn’t see too well in the rapid falling snow and because he was going slow and Tinky was hurrying ahead…

He lost sight of them, he begins panicking and spinning in a circle as if that would help at all.

“Tinky Winky?” He called out as loud as he could.

He did get a response. But not the one he wanted.

Something screamed and heavy steps rushed towards him. Guardian froze instead of running. Which is probably what led to him getting knocked out.

Tinky Winky frowns at the locked gate. Great. He turns around and is startled to not see Guardian anywhere. Despite the fact that the guy stalked them, he was honestly worried what could have happened. He is determined to contact the military so maybe Tinky had walked too fast for him.

“We have to go find him?” Po complained as Tinky turns back.

“Well, we can’t get through the gate right now so we might as well.”

He felt like he was wandering in circles until he spotted big footprints. He was nervous since there was no way an animal nor normal Teletubby made this print.

The purple Tubby manages to force himself to follow them before the snow filled them.

Is this...a campfire?

Tinky Winky stands there baffled yet shifts closer to the warmth while Po climbs down and starts wandering around.

She smells something weird and beelines towards it. She almost trips over some bones, dried blood, and tossed aside body parts like eyes. Po nearly laughs seeing the Guardian passed out in the middle of this mess.

The small Teletubby runs over to him and pokes the hat on his head, Dipsy’s hat. “Hey silly, this isn’t the time to be taking a nap, if you don’t get up your eyeballs will be added to the pile!”

“What…?” Guardian mumbles tiredly then forces himself up. He looks around and jumps up. “Okay! Ew!”

They run towards the fire and Tinky seems to be talking to someone near a tree.

“Who are you talking to?” Po huffs, her face twisting.

“Okay, but he isn’t food, isn’t there any animals he could chew on?” Tinky is too busy to acknowledge Po.

The person, who seemed to be holding a sharp tool, made exasperated hand gestures at him. The two of them didn’t understand but Tinky apparently did.

“He already ate them all?! Geez..”

More finger motions.

Leaning closer, Guardian could see the person was a half robot, similar to Announcer and Noo-Noo. But they were colors of black, gray, and orange. They seemed to have a black star antenna.

“I know I’m going to probably die if I stay in the cold, that’s why we need to go, but the gate is locked so I was hoping if you would come with us.” Tinky twiddles his fingers while pleading with his eyes.

Unit’s hands freeze as he stares up at the Tubby’s puppy dog like expression. He was going to tell him he couldn’t but he felt a vague sense of guilt of the thought of telling him no. He looks around to make sure the huge brat wasn’t hiding somewhere.

(How can a huge monster be a brat? Well the dude demanded FRENCH TOAST once, and he signed at him that he couldn’t and the idiot doesn’t know sign language.)

He lets out a distorted sigh and walks off in the direction of the gate.

The purple Teletubby follows behind with his two friends.

He easily breaks the lock with his sword.

“Wow that’s a powerful knife!” The red one chirps.

What? It’s a sword. He signs aggressively.

“C...calm d...down...she…” The purple one suddenly sneezes. “Let’s...Let’s go…” He rushes past the gate.

Tinky Winky nearly cries in relief when they arrive somewhere warmer than that snowy place.

“We’re at the outskirts.” Guardian speaks despite no one asking.

“Do you just like to hear yourself speak?” Po responds.

“I only had screens to talk to.”

They all walk forward though their half robot companion seems a bit cautious and paranoid.

They pass a bush and some logs and Tinky noticed that there was a pile of sticks that seemed to have had a fire going but had dulled out a while ago. Was someone else here?

They then walk around a huge rock. Po grunts lowly in some sort of pain.

“Po? Are you alright?” He turns with a concerned frown as he gets down to talk to her properly.

“My back hurts.” She complains with a hurt whine.

Tinky doesn’t know how her back just suddenly hurts. But they really couldn’t rest, maybe this military could help, he did read in his books that they tents for this sort of thing.

“We’ll get help soon.” He grabs her hand and carefully pulls her along. They got to some structures where they had to duck under, Po grunts again, the pain seemed to be getting worse.

Guardian for some reason decided to walk on the pathways on the stable ones. Tinky narrows his eyes seeing him bend over a random bowl of custard.

“GUARDIAN. What are you doing?”

“Can I at least take a syringe sample of this?”

“If anything, it’ll be more useful to take a blood sample rather than some random custard.”

This caused Unit to raise an eyebrow at him, his tail flicks when the radar in his antenna was warning him of something.

He looks around and freezes in place when he seems a yellow figure standing stiff on a pillar, watching them intently. If he was normal, he wouldn’t have thought much of it. But he hasn’t been normal for a very long time. This person was like the monster, under control of the virus.

Unlike the fluffy monster however, she seemed to be glaring at them as if they were offending her by existing. Unit starts to feel panic fill his body when a dark energy begins glowing from her right hand and she gets into a pouncing position.

He starts quickly tapping on Tinky’s back and pointed at her when he turned around. Tinky gasps and gestures everyone forward in a panicked motion.

Guardian was the first to flee like a prey. Unit followed him. Tinky was about to as well but stopped at Po’s sharp cry of pain. He kneels in front of her crouched position.

He freezes as he watches Laa-Laa scream as she rushes towards them, her bouncing antenna glowing black instead of the usual yellow. Not a scream as if she was hurt, angry, or even scared.

A scream like a predator would make.

He couldn’t understand what or why this was happening. Then something shocking happened.

Two sharp things tore out of Po’s back, she rapidly turns around. Tinky Winky ducks so these sharp scythes wouldn’t cut him.

Laa-Laa was startled when Po shrieked and swung them at her. But luckily since she seemed to be growing taller, the attack couldn’t reach the yellow Teletubby. She hisses as she runs back towards the ruins.

Tinky tugs on Po’s arm to pull her towards the station.

Unit puts his hand on his sword when he saw Tinky pulled a transformed Teletubby over to them.

“Don’t do that! It’s just Po!” He seemed hurt that he had considered hurting Po.

He was about to sign something to him but a bigger problem became apparent when they heard Laa-Laa screaming.

Okay, they need to get in. Unit knew how to use the levers to get in. It had a time limit but he was convinced they could get in.

Guardian shifts nervously.

The door opened and they rush in, Po and Tinky Winky had to duck. Everyone was taken aback when they heard gun shots far ahead.

#slendytubbies

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meiko3323 · 1 month

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BINGO

boss makes a dollar, i make a dime, so i print out challenges on company time XD filled it in on my own time tho

all my hoyolab friends were doing this so i decided to join in 😸 would this also count as meet the artist kinda?

hm, lets see what i can elaborate on...

- i write/ draw w my left, but hold food utensils incl chopsticks w my right. and i use a right-handed mouse. but when i chop veggies or sth for meal prep i hold the knife in my left

- bilingual: i know russian and english fluently. my parents had a "no english at home" rule when my sister and i were growing up, which i found annoying at the time but now im pretty grateful to not forget my mother tongue, and be able to communicate w the extended fam back home

- im extremely near-sighted, im talkin i could hold out my own hand in front of my face and itll be blurry

- idk if this is dating me too much, but i played a lot of neopets when i was young. i had like 4 or 5 accts, and even got my sis into em. i remember sneaking onto the family pc to play, and then sneak away when i heard my parents approaching

- came out at 16, tho in hindsight the signs were there as young as like 5

- i indeed had a fursona in middle/high school, prob cuz i struggled w human anatomy and found animals much easier to draw 😅

- get it? caffeine + fiend = CAFFIEND :>

- im the older sister by 6 yrs

- ive talked abt my connection to ffxiv on here before, i played it intensely for abt 2yrs, even got into the raiding scene a bit. was a miqo'te white mage main until sage came out and i switched to that

- i LOVE exploration so all my genshin maps are 100% including all the special/ underground ones, i caught up just before fontaine released, and since then it takes me under 2 wks to catch up on any new map

- dont like makeup cuz im lazy and also why should i waste time putting all of it on, only to have to wash it off after? or forget and wake up w panda eyes 🐼 too much hassle =w=

- i currently have short hair. i started cutting it myself since covid cuz salons were closed and it was getting too long, i was startin to look like that aLiEnS guy 😂 and now it saves me time and money, and as a bonus i dont have to leave the house for it which is always a win (id prob be a complete shut-in if i didnt have to work lol)

- ive fallen out of trees twice, once at a friends bday party when i was abt 5-6, and another time when i was ehhh 12-13. im also generally quite accident prone (not quite benny levels but up there) tho surprisingly not broken any bones *knock on wood*

- surprise-surprise, am an introvert lmao. require plenty of time to recharge my social battery

- i enjoy me some alcohol, not unlike a certain bard ;3 i actually used to drink FAR more when i was younger. funny enough its thanks to videogames that ive managed to unintentionally cut bk (aka replace one addiction w another lol), like now im able to skip up to 3 days. and when i do partake its not as heavy as before, partly cuz im weary of hangovers, and partly cuz the sleepies hit me before the buzz and thats annoying :T but i still chase that boozy high

- hoodies and flannels are life, theyre so comfy! clothes-related sidenote: pants MUST have pockets or i refuse to wear em

- ive got 16mm gauges in my ears, i think thats 00G? currently wearing silver tunnels atm. i miss my grumpy cat plugs, but alas theyre only 10mm iirc

- ive got 7 piercings i think, lets count: 1️⃣ tongue, 2️⃣ left side lip, 3️⃣ right nostril, 4️⃣-5️⃣both earlobes (stretched), and 6️⃣-7️⃣ a double-helix (intentional for the pun lol) on my left ear. i used to have a second row on my lobes but when my gauges got too big i had to take em out. kinda wanna get em repierced at some point and put the little cuffs back. debating an industrial in my right ear too (goin for some as.symetry) also wanna get a second piercing beside my current lip one (apparently thats called a spider bite 😳)

- never learned to drive cuz either got driven everywhere by fam/ friends, or relied on public transit. plus idk if i trust myself behind the wheel, it feels like itd be too overwhelming x_x

- i enjoy me some vaping. in classic meiko fashion, prefer the *fruity* flavours. tho ive had a couple good menthol ones. not a fan of dessert flavours, theyre nice for a few hits but vaping it for an extended time gets too sweet. ive dabbled w a bit of cigarettes too tho not a fan due to the nasty aftertaste. i also enjoy me some hookah, tho ive not indulged in years

- ive dropped out of uni not once but twice 🙂

- i love plushies and used to have a pretty big collection of them ^w^ i still hold on to a few, id have more if i had space in the apartment for em

- DUH, i have a tumblr as well :3 lurked on and off for years

thank you to anyone that bothered reading all that, didnt expect id have so much to say abt myself. sorry for rambling endlessly ^^'

and thanks in advance to anyone that fills out the card, i wonder if there will be any bingos :D

#my art #bingo #bingo challenge #about me #hehe snuck in some arlefuri #this was fun

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sweatermakers · 2 months

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customsweaterproducer · 4 months

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alsjeblieft-zeg · 2 years

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84 of 2022

Basics How old are you?

I’m 32.

What is your star sign?

Taurus, but it doesn’t even matter to me.

Do you like where you live?

I do, but it’s a bloody tourist spot, so always full of people.

Top 3... Songs?

Lange Frans & Baas B - Ik Wacht Al Zo Lang

Vildhjarta - Shiver

HRFTR - Prey (but I love everything they did so far)

Bands?

HRFTR, Vildhjarta, Fractalize.

Musical Artists?

Baas B and that’s all, but I like everything he did with Lange Frans, too.

Books?

Too many to choose just 3, but recently I liked The Legend of Ice People.

Movies?

I don’t watch movies, they are a waste of time to me.

Relationships... What's your relationship status?

Married.

How long was your longest relationship?

4 years and counting.

Do you have a current crush?

More like platonic squish, on that man with pretty eyes. My husband is the one I love the most, though.

What/when was your last... Concert you went to?

Shuriken II, there was a free music festival in my city last month or so.

Film you saw?

I don’t waste my time on sitting still and watching movies when I can do something productive instead.

Crush?

Since 11th February and still going on, this man I like.

Book you read?

The Legend of Ice People.

Pet you owned?

I have two cats.

Favourite... Drink?

Beer. :P And vanilla coke, it’s worth going to France for.

Colour?

Black and neon green.

Perfume?

I have lots of favourites here.

Animal?

Cat.

Personal Question Round! Are you a virgin?

No, I’m not.

Have you ever given oral sex?

Yeah, didn’t like it.

Received oral sex?

Yeah, and hated it.

Do you shower every day?

Even twice a day.

Do you prefer to be in a relationship or single?

I don’t care, being in a relationship is not on my list of priorities. But since the relationship happened, I do my best to take care of it, and so does he, because we love each other.

Ever had a crush on a teacher?

Never in my life.

Sexuality?

I’m asexual, that’s what I know for sure. I’m trying to figure out if I am a homo-alterous aroace or grey-homoromantic. One thing is certain, I’m a gay dude. That’s all.

Appearance... Hair Colour?

Brown. Boring as hell.

Eye Colour?

Grey.

Clothing Style?

Something like a hip hop/metalhead crossover. You’d see me wearing cargo pants and combat boots most of the time, with black oversized hoodies, mostly with custom prints. I like it that way.

Curly or straight hair?

Kind of wavy, it seems.

Freckles or none?

Yes. Not only on my face, but also on my shoulders. My husband likes them for some reason.

Long hair or short hair?

Short, but it’s already getting too long for my liking.

Ideal... Place to live?

Near the sea.

Holiday destination?

Anywhere in the big city. I remember I loved Berlin.

Job?

The one I have now.

Finally... What types of films do you like?

None.

Do you like poetry?

I don’t care much.

Do you read a lot?

I do indeed.

What period in history is your favourite?

World wars.

Do you enjoy school or not?

I did.

Do you read many magazines?

Nope, most of them are stupid.

Favourite movie characters? Book characters?

I don’t have favourites.

What kind of weather do you like?

Grey skies, overcast, thunderstorms, but also sunshine.

Coffee or tea?

Coffee.

Do you wear socks in bed?

Why would I.

What's your favourite feature on the opposite (or same) sex?

Eyes, hands down. If he has pretty eyes, the rest of his face doesn’t even matter to me and in my eyes, he’s beautiful. But I bond with people based on their personalities.

How about on your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend?

Also eyes and personality.

#survey #about me survey #q&a survey

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1ddiscourseoftheday · 3 years

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Tues 8 June ‘21

Harry recorded a message that was played at the Stoneman Douglas High School graduation; SD is the school in Parkland Florida that in 2018 became the site of the deadliest school shooting in US history. Harry has consistently been a vocal supporter of the student activism to curb gun violence that followed the shooting (it was when he added the Stop Gun Violence stickers to his guitar and he spoke about it before when playing near there on HSLOT, for example, as well as signing on to things and donating money and talking about the bravery of the young women leading the effort in particular). “You are an incredibly strong group of people and I have no doubt that you’ll all do incredible things whatever you chose to do in the future, so good luck, love each other and be nice to each other and I hope at some point I’ll get to see you guys,” he said in the video.

A blurry blob in a blue hoodie in London last night was said to be him, out for a stroll, Don’t Worry Darling was announced to be set for release next year, and some fans literally chased Harry and Olivia down the street while filming them against their wishes (recently, not today, seems like she might be back in the US with Jason now that his filming is wrapped) and then people tried to blame their behavior on... larries?? UM did larries possess them and force them to literally chase a person asking to be left alone I DON’T BELIEVE SO, I am BEGGING you guys to quit listening to anything anyone on twitter says. My Policeman is filming in Hitchin, at a location reported by local media to be “shrouded in mystery”, but I’m pretty sure the hordes gathered to peep at filming have killed any aura of mystery at this point. They are working on location at a pool in Butts Close (YEAH I KNOW) and are apparently besieged with fans, some of whom managed to get more pictures of a blurry blob said to be Harry- this time in tiny yellow short shorts (2021/1950 version)!

Niall and Anne Marie’s Tonight Show performance aired! Anne Marie’s black and white cheetah print lined three piece outfit is amazing, like Niall is pushing the envelope a little with shapes and fits but her look takes center stage I’m afraid; anyway also they sound great and are cute, yes yes.

Liam has been in his discord lots, commenting on things and polling people. Current polls, yes no or wtf about NFTs, which landslide result (wtf) got him to say yeah okay I’ll make an explainer, and should we rename my fandom which resulted in a chat for people to make suggestions. About front runner Paynedora’s Box (Liam’s own amazing suggestion) he said “it came to me as I thought it meant every type of fan is a possibility, never know what you’re going to encounter.” Yes plus Pandora’s Box was full of demons! Apt indeed though Liam’s fans are sweeter than some, it’s true. He gives a little love to Champaynes too, which is good though given our boy’s struggle with alcohol addiction I’ll stick with my vote for the first one. He posted from an “impromptu night photoshoot” (about which his hair guy said “bringing the grit back, prepping for a very exciting launch…”), followed NFT co-creator Gabe Damast who later posted some behind the scenes talk about the making of Lonely Bug (with glimpses!) and the page for animated film Ron’s Gone Wrong, which he commented about (“this looks amazing!”), liked a Lonely Bug fanart of the bug with his face on it, and signed on to a UNICEF letter, along with 28 other celebs, asking the G7 (rich countries) to donate vaccines for distribution where most needed. And he was seen today at a Top Golf! An employee posted a distanced pic with him. Also btw those necklaces he’s been wearing all the time lately are apparently diamonds and are £50k each, but he wasn’t wearing them for golf time at least.

And additional bits from Liam’s interview from yesterday because it’s REALLY LONG, one recap wasn’t enough-- Liam said he definitely has not yet figured out what makes him happy (which makes me sad although also, normalize not having it all figured out in your 20s I don’t think that’s unusual) and talked about the difficulty of figuring out what to do when you’ve already accomplished your life goal so young, he mentioned the people speaking out against the X Factor and that he thinks there needs to be a care system for people in those shows, and said “find you a man who looks at you like Russell Brand looks at you when he’s listening to your stories, he looks into your soul,” and when host Steve talks about meditating naked says “now that’s what I want to think about!” (they’d been talking about what to focus your thoughts on for meditation). He said he wants to experiment with the way he does promo, specifically to wait to see if a song is doing well before doing press tours that might not have any point and that he thinks the industry is in a place where they need to throw out the old molds, and he talked about the industry wasting money on things they don’t need to do for promo. “You have your fanbase, grow it organically, properly,” he said, which is so much more true for any one of the 1D boys than anyone else, for sure, and it makes sense he’d say this stuff not just for the obvious reasons- we’ve all seen how badly labels have fallen short with post 1D solo stuff- but also because the 1D fandom always has been in a position out at the forefront of new ways that fan engagement work (as Liam points out, he talked about the perfect storm of the rise of twitter trends and of 1D) and modeling what will be next for other artists, so trying to fit it into old boxes doesn’t make sense, and it’s still true. Other solo artists simply DON’T HAVE the same kind of fandom these five do, and trying to market them the same way you would any random artist is just throwing away money and engagement! So it is exciting to see these guys take the lead on their own stuff and experiment with new ways of doing things, and Liam is smashing it at that.

#harry styles #niall horan #liam payne #tw gun violence #tw shooting #drag we down #my policeman filming #butts close #there's a very short shorts/butt's close joke to be made but eh #his butt is... close to the bottom of those shorts?? HEH? idk you'll just have to imagine it #something pretty much like that only actually funny #can anyone come up wiht good Liam fandom names I WANNA HEAR THEM #8 jun 21 #tw alcoholism

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stubbornfactory · 5 months

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neoheros · 4 years

Text

sneaking out headcanons feat. gym 3 squad ♡ — also this is all gonna be set in an au before or without the quarantine, so don’t leave your house please!! social distancing is important and people are dying!!

kuroo tetsuro

listen LISTEN

sneaking out is terrible and you should never do it because it’s dangerous and risky

and you as the woke and understanding gen z that you are definitely respected that

but , BUT , BUUUUT !

the minute your boyfriend snapped you a photo of him in his car with him rubbing his tired eyes captioned “couldn’t sleep, dreamt of u”

your morals were OUT THE WINDOW and now it was your turn >:// !!!

kuroo: i know it’s 4 am but what’re the chances you’d hop out for a quick trip to chick-fil-a 👉👈

you, purposely taking two minutes to reply: why are you still awake

kuroo, who knows you like the back of his hand: babe don’t lie to me, it’s embarrassing for the both of us x

so you agree !! because it was kuroo, the love of your life, the man you’d simp for, and he’s paying for food so hell fricken yeah

you throw on a hoodie, lock your doors, fluff up the bed to make it look like someone was sleeping in it just in case and you gently make your way towards your window

due to personal reasons, you want to pass away

you suddenly remember why you hated sneaking out and boy — the food kuroo was buying you better be worth it

the only way you were actually gonna get down from your two story house that idiotically doesn’t have a roof ledge was if you grab onto the tv satellite that latched by the sill

from your window you see kuroo’s car parked by the trash cans near your house and he’s got his windshield down signaling at you

mfer pulled out his phone from his pocket and waved as he zooms closer to your figure and he SMILED ?

you were in a dilemma?? and he had the audacity???? the fricken audacity???

kuroo, snapping you the vid he took: babe please you’re so cute you look like a tiny gremlin

you: had me in the first half, not gonna lie

it was a MOMENT for you !! but you just say what the hell and go for it anyways because you only live once apparently and sneaking out with your boyfriend at 4 am was better than sleeping

you grab onto the satellite ridge and you pray for mercy that it doesn’t make a sound or loosen up because if anyone found out you were doing this it was definitely kuroo’s ass on the line

while you’re struggling to get down, kuroo’s just in the car ??? laughing his ass off at your current state and you swear that he’s still taking photos

you get down on the cement safely and instead of him pulling up closer to your drive way naaaah he makes you walk to where he was at 😤

you, getting in the car: if i dump you by the end of tonight, just know that the only reason why i didn’t do it sooner is because i wanted food

kuroo, putting on your seatbelt: we’ll get back together in the morning, i’m not worried

so the two of you make your way to chick-fil-a, get food via drivethru and eat in the parking lot with the doors open and the windows down

he still looks very tired and before you even realize it it’s already 6 in the morning

you catch him yawn every few minutes and he always reassures you that he didn’t mind staying up this late :(

he’s baby

kuroo: lets get you home, are you gonna dump me yet?

you, kissing his cheek: no, i kinda love you

kuroo, less sleepy with a lazy smile on his face: aha simp

tsukishima kei

bro if you think he’s a goody two shoes boy who won’t ask you to sneak out at like 2 in the morning , you are so wrong

canonically, he is the most devious and logical character in the entire anime and if he wants to go out with you before the crack of dawn — he fricken will !!

he’s gonna be so sly about it too, nah, he gon make you think it’s your idea to sneak out

tsukki, texting you a tiktok of homemade shrimp rotini at 2:35 am: look what yamaguchi sent me

yamaguchi, who fell asleep three hours ago and absolutely is not in any state to send tiktoks:

so you’re there like ??????

bruv you were just tryna scroll through your twitter feed in peace, why the hell would he send you that like that’s so uncool

because now you were sleep deprived and hungry

you, close to tears: does your house in hell have a pool or

tsukishima, unnerved: i don’t like the concept of swimming

he’s gonna go on about how he didn’t realize what he did and how he’s kinda sorry for waking your hunger but you weren’t born yesterday !! you smelled BS !!

so you facetime him, ready to go off on how unsorry he is and you can already imagine the shit eating grin he must’ve had on

he answers after three rings and he’s in a MFING yellow hoodie with the dinosaur print in the middle, his hair neatly tucked and you just know that he’s got his keys on his fingertips

you, defeated: i’ve been played

tsukishima, heading out the front door: i deny all accusations

you’re not even upset though because this was a perfect opportunity to try the stability of your roof ledge and tbh? who wasn’t unreasonably hungry at 3 am

turns out climbing out your window was harder than you thought and you may or may not have gotten two new bruises on your wrist just by trying

safe to assume that you fell on your ass and since the universe has a particular hatred towards you, your boyfriend arrived at the perfect time to witness all of it

tsukishima: how are you gonna kiss me when you’re too busy kissing the ground

you, tears on your cheeks: if i wanted a bully instead of a boyfriend i would’ve SAID SO

when you get in his car, the first thing he does is ask if you’re okay though and he’s checking your wrists and hands for any scratches or bleeding because 🥺

tsukki: you’re such a clumsy idiot what the hell

tsukki, kicking down the pavement when you’re not paying attention: 💢🪓

you guys end up going to numerous places because most of the drivethrus in town were already closed

you see him get tired behind the steering wheel and you almost have the urge to offer to drive but you didn’t really feel like crashing his car any day soon so

you: lets just head to starbucks hm? get some coffee?

tsukishima, feeling bad because he knows you wanted to get food: we don’t have to

you, in love with him: if you say no i will willingly walk all the way to starbucks by myself , what , you think i won’t do it

so you guys go there and order a couple double shot espressos with a side of scones and muffins and the entire time you’re just trying not to shiver because name one starbucks you’ve been to that hasn’t been unreasonably cold huh i dare you

he notices this and he gives you his hoodie and ITS JUST THE SOFTEST THING OKAY BECAUSE HE’S COLD TOO BUT HE JUST WANTS YOU WARM

you: i knew it, you love me too huh 😌

tsukishima: unfortunately so

akaashi keiji

AKAASHI IS LEGALLY THE BEST BOYFRIEND IN THE WORLD !!

like he cannot be a bad boyfriend ?? it’s impossible for him to be so ?????? he’s just built that way ????

he’s the ultimate mixture of respect and self love , god was just like “let’s make this one perfect !!”

he’s DRIPPING in love each other juice and he eats kindness for breakfast so ha !

he physically cannot say no to you because he flat out adores you

( except when he feels like you’re wrong or being irrational to which he’ll politely correct you and educate you because that’s on what? that’s on having a healthy relationship ♡ )

so when you hit him up at 5:23 in the morning after a series of tiktoks that he has yet to see and react to you about, he’s kinda alarmed

but then again he’s also not ?? because let’s face it, at this point, he’s used to you spamming his inbox

the last thing you sent him two minutes ago was a text saying “bro just imagine this: you and me at a maccas drivethru with two oreo flurry’s and a box of 20 piece chicken nuggets — immaculate”

and you didn’t really expect him to reply?

it was five am and you were absolutely shit talking but when you saw his face time status go online you were just like ?????

akaashi, snapping you a pic of him under his covers with very tired eyes: it’s 5:27 am

you, sending him back a photo of you and the 2000 piece puzzle you spent the last two hours doing: that’s not a no 💅

he doesn’t reply and you’re not really upset by it because he probably just fell asleep and that was really cute to you so !!

but then two minutes later he’s facetiming you and you JUMP at the sudden ringing

he’s all tired and his voice is groggy and tight but he’s still smiling as he says “i’ll see you in ten”

YOU ARE !!!! PUMPED !!!!!

you won the boyfriend lottery , holy hell

now the only thing keeping you from seeing your man and the mcdonald’s sign was the eleven foot gap between your window and the solid concrete

you’d usually take the stairs but you just know that your mom would absolutely murder you for trying to sneak out when you should be asleep 💆‍♀️

it was either climbing out by clawing through the pipes or not being able to give akaashi a hug and you were not gonna let that second one happen

akaashi, after reading your two paragraph rant on how unnatural it was for your window to be that high: please be careful

you, haven’t slept in 32 hours: screw careful ! i embody elegance !!

in which elegance was screaming every time your pipes squeaked because dear mercy you did not want to die yet

akaashi, who just pulled up your drive way and is now seeing you almost fall to the ground:

you, on the verge of tears: please catch me

AND he does 🥺

it was a close call and he barely even made it to you when you chose to let go but HE DID ANYWAYS

you kinda fell on him rather than landing smoothly in his arms but that’s okay you were just glad you didn’t die

when you both get in his car, he just takes a hot sec to dust you off and ask if you’re okay and he’s so concerned please tell him you’re fine

he’s such a baby please i can’t believe this shit

the two of you end up in a mcdonald’s parking lot with doja cat blaring on the radio and you guys do your best to hold back your laughter as you eat

it was pretty cold and the sun was rising but honestly you couldn’t find the urge to care since the moment just felt so surreal

you: i’m sorry for waking you btw 🥺

akaashi, showing you his new lock screen which is the picture he took of you when he first saw you climb out the window:

you: i’m less sorry

bokuto koutaro

BOYFRIEND OF THE MFING YEAR

i accept no arguments, go cry about it

i literally don’t care what anyone has to say, bokuto is the only man ever ? he’s so deserving of every right on earth i’ll cry

the way that this is the third night in a row he’s stayed up til 4 am and he’s not even alarmed about it

like at this point he’s just accepted that he is nocturnal and that’s that on that !

before he actually had the idea to ask you to sneak out for him, he debated whether or not it was worth it

you needed sleep and you barely got any so when he knew you were resting he absolutely refused to message you :(

but then he also thought about how you would love to have a large dunkin iced coffee right now

and he was already getting ready for his morning fix so why not just ask harmlessly?

if you weren’t going to respond then he’d be okay with that because he knew that you were resting well

but if you were going to answer his consecutive texts with a positive reply then HE IS 🥺 over the moon

you, barely awake: can we get a venti triple shot latté instead , my caffeine tolerance is SHOT

bokuto, snapping you back within a minute: babe you are delusional if you think i’m gonna let you drink that

so it’s 5 am and your parents are in the other room asleep but you know that their jobs start pretty early so you had to get a move on

your room wasn’t that high from the ground to be honest, so you weren’t really worried about falling off

what you were worried about was how dizzy and out of depth the melatonin gummies made you because in order to fall asleep you took 3 and now that you basically forced yourself out of a self induced coma, your body was on the verge of passing away

bokuto tells you that he doesn’t mind if you’re not up for the trip and he’d just bring you back your coffee BUT NAH

you’re not a quitter 🤬 you miss your boyfriend and you are gonna do whatever it takes to spend some quality morning time with him !!!!!

so you throw on a proper outfit, make your way through your window and gently do your best to refrain from yelping every time your hand would slip from the railing that’s keeping your balance

bokuto, pulling up seeing you on your roof: you’re so strong 🥺👉👈

you, barely alive: all for you baby ❤️

he helps you get down from where you stood and he had the prettiest smile on earth i SWEAR when you immediately sank in his cold chest

he apologizes for making you sneak out like that BUT NUH UH YOU DO NOT LET HIM

he is a gift !!! and you knew how tired he must’ve been too since he kept yawning but he still took the time and energy to pick you up 🥺

he fastens your seatbelt in the car and puts the windows up because he knew that the air would get in your face and you didn’t like that

he even brought you a spare hoodie of his because he remembered how much you swooned over this particular fabric

bokuto: we’ll get you some coffee but you can sleep while i drive, ok babe?

you, trying not to cry: are you single because i really want to kiss you

bokuto, kissing your cheek: i’m dating someone i’m sorry

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 4 years

Text

Melted Mask

awitchbravestheverge prompt: I don't know if you're still taking prompts but you are a master of hurt/comfort and would sell you my soul for some of that for Janus. Maybe where he's feeling insecure or like he's worn out his welcome post acceptance, or maybe a little touch starved, or both. Preferably with Virgil or Patton as the comforter, but if not thats ok. I just have a never-ending need for fic where people are soft and gentle with the snake boy, and I love everything you write with my whole heart

Thanks for the request, babe!

Read on Ao3

Pairings: DLAMPR, focus on anxceit and moceit, can be platonic or romantic you decide I don’t mind

Warnings: uhhh sympathetic deceit and remus

Word Count: 4804

“How many masks of your own face are you currently wearing?”

“At least four.”

Between the gloves, the cape, and the hat, there’s not an awful lot of Janus that is seen most of the time. Not that he particularly minds. There is a certain benefit that layers upon layers of clothing provides. One, they’re perfect for concealing his cane—the others always look so surprised when he summons it from nowhere. Two, he is Dark Side, thanks to Roman’s fantastic naming system. There is an aesthetic standard that must be met. What was he going to do, show up in some ratted old hoodie?

Three, well—there is an awful lot to look at. If the others are focused on the clasps at his throat, the shock of the yellow gloves, the logo hidden under the black fabric, they’re not looking at him.

If they were, they’d see his scales.

He is the only side with a visible animal trait, after all. The scales cover the left side of his face, down beneath his collar. He doesn’t mind the stares—come on, it’s so easy to catch them off guard, how could he?—but sometimes he does wonder if they’ll ever get used to it.

To him.

The scales are a reminder. That he’s different. That he’s not like them. He’s not like the others, he doesn’t look like Thomas, at least not to the extent that they do. Thomas doesn’t have golden scales along the side of his face. Thomas doesn’t have a mouth that curves up along his cheek. Thomas doesn’t have a slit-eye pupil. No, no, Thomas is normal.

How dreadful.

Then, of course, there are the lies.

‘Deceit.’ Such a funny word. And so…polarizing.

‘Deceitful,’ ‘dishonest,’ ‘dastardly’—lot of ‘d’s, here, hmm?—all of the words that just mean he’s a liar. And lying must be bad, right? So it follows logically then, because we simply adore logic in this house, that he must be bad.

He’s not to be trusted, he’s a liar. He’s not honest, he’s a liar. They have to double and triple-check everything he says because he’s a liar.

They always conveniently seem to forget that you can always trust a dishonest person to be dishonest. It’s the truthful ones you have to watch out for.

Janus knows he’s a liar. Frankly, he’s quite proud of it. He’s gotten very good at it too; twisting the words together just right in order to tug slightly at a heartstring there, block off just a little rationality there, get the job done. The others always get caught up in his words, too busy focusing on the minutia of it, the details, leaving him free to step around them and speak to Thomas.

They see the gloves, they see the scales, they see the lies.

They see the masks.

Oh, sometimes he’ll put on a little bit more of a show if he needs to make a point, if the normal masks aren’t quite enough to get Thomas to listen. He’ll tie a hoodie around his shoulders, push a pair of glasses up his nose, knot a tie around his neck. Problem is…those ones are a little easier to see through. No matter how hard he tries, all of his disguises end up being a self-portrait.

Which is how he ended up here.

“You know the rules,” Patton says, his hands on his hips, “no impersonating others outside of filming!”

Janus rolls his eyes and idly flicks a speck of dirt off one of his gloves. “Oh, please. You don’t want me to do it during filming either.”

“No, I don’t, but we made a compromise, kiddo, now we both have to stick to it.”

Janus raises an eyebrow. “Yes, I’m sure the others will be relieved to hear so.”

“What have we said about impersonations?”

He sighs. “The others may be idiots—“

“Oi!”

“—but idiots are also deserving of respect,” Janus finishes, glancing at Virgil draped over the back of the couch. “And I would never dream of being anything less than perfectly respectful.”

Virgil snorts. “What do you even get out of it anyway?” He sits up a little straighter. “Wait, you haven’t been tricking Roman into telling you how to impersonate us better, have you?”

“Now why would I do that?”

“Janus!”

“What? Like you don’t make a habit of going to the others for advice.”

“There’s a difference between openly asking for it and tricking them into giving it to you.”

Janus levels a stare at him. “I suppose there is, isn’t there?”

“Hey!” Patton steps between them. “That’s enough.”

“Oh, well—“ Janus makes a show of resettling his cape—“if you say so.”

Patton sighs. “Janus, we are trying, okay? You heard Thomas, you’re…well, you’re more welcome now.”

“And you’re doing a marvelous job of that.”

Patton doesn’t quite deflate, but it’s close. “Well, maybe we could all try a little harder.” He gives Janus a pointed look.

“Yes, I’m sure my efforts will be richly rewarded.”

“Well, you could start by showing up as yourself more often.”

“Myself?” Janus gasps theatrically, putting a gloved hand to his scales. “Who’s that?”

“Dude,” Virgil sniggers—Virgil did always appreciate his sense of humor—“how many masks of your own face are you currently wearing”

“At least four.”

Patton lets him go with another verbal slap on the wrist and Virgil flips him off. Janus sinks out, striding down the hallway near his room. It’s quieter here. The walls hum a little less. He can think.

He hadn’t gone to Roman to gets tips on his acting. He’d gone because Roman doesn’t want to talk to Janus.

Janus, the liar. Janus, the manipulator. Janus, the Dark Side.

Janus shuts the door of his room and instinctively slumps, the cape hanging off his shoulders. He knows Patton means well, and Virgil’s…Virgil, but sometimes it stings a little more than it should. Not that the others will ever see it.

He’ll never forget the look on Thomas’s face when Logan said he was the side that acts with the one priority of self-preservation. Of how it instantly demonized the idea of protecting yourself. Of Thomas keeping himself safe.

He looks at his hands, sees the gloves. They still don’t fit quite right, even after all these years. He can’t get the seams to run down the sides of the fingers, not curve around to the front or the back. It really shouldn’t be this difficult. Especially considering how much use he’s gotten out of them.

Lying kept Thomas alive. It kept him safe. He helped keep Thomas safe. When Virgil couldn’t breathe, when Logan faltered, when Patton froze, Janus would quietly make his way over to Roman and whisper a suggestion. Just a suggestion. To lie. To keep Thomas safe. To get them out of here. And it saved them. So many times.

Janus walks over to the mirror. It’s a fairly modest thing; about the size of a small sink, oval, large enough so he can see himself completely if he takes a few steps back. He ignores his own face and reaches for the golden latch on the side. He turns it.

The cabinet swings open to reveal a dark velvet interior with several small podiums. Each has a thin mask laid atop it. They gleam in the low light of the room. Janus reaches out and carefully makes sure each is perfectly centered. As he does so, his gloves linger on the fine print beneath the podiums.

Everyone has masks. Versions of themselves to present to the world when they need to. A mask that keeps you safe, a mask that keeps you alive, a mask that has the courage to speak when you don’t. The mask they wear around their homophobic relatives, the mask they wear when they need to make a phone call, the mask they wear when they need to pretend they’re something they’re not.

Janus is very, very good at making masks.

He never wears these. These are for Thomas. When Thomas needs help, Janus slips one of these out of the cabinet and sets it on the desk in front of the mirror. He looks at it, then at the mirror, and works. These masks are what helps Thomas.

He shuts the cabinet with a decisive click, suddenly confronted with his own face.

Janus is so good at making masks that he doesn’t even need a mask to wear one.

A mask because you’re the bad guy. A mask because you can never be trusted. A mask because when you try to be vulnerable they won’t listen. A mask because they don’t want you, they want the character that you embody to survive.

He pities the others sometimes. They don’t have these masks and they hurt. They can’t distance themselves, pull away just a little more, embody a role so that when it’s over, when they’re safe again, they can take it off and breathe. But they don’t. So they just get hurt. Over and over and over.

Janus’s lips involuntarily curl up into a snarl. The hand on the mirror closes into a fist.

They’re not supposed to get hurt. That’s not how this is supposed to work.

He’s not supposed to hurt them.

Part of him argues that he has to. If he keeps working the way he’s been working he can get right to Thomas, who is who needs the most protection. If he tries to do it their way they risk Thomas getting hurt and Janus won’t have that.

Part of him whispers that this is good for them. If he can make them a little tougher, help them get thicker skin, they’ll be safer. And then it won’t matter if they hate him. They’ll be safe. That’s all he cares about.

The rest of him—

…well, the rest of him is currently the reason he’s having trouble looking in the mirror right now.

The problem with wearing so many masks is that it becomes harder and harder to figure what’s the mask and what’s not. And he’s gotten so good at making them that now…now he doesn’t have to think about it.

A mask for when Logan asks to debate about philosophy. A mask for when Remus wants him to help him and Roman make something new. A mask for when Patton wants to bake. A mask for when Virgil comes to him for help.

A mask for all of them. A mask for none of them.

Janus doesn’t want to wear the masks all the time. He wants them to be warm, to care, to smile when he comes into the room, or even ask where he is. He wants to laugh as Patton smears batter all over his nose accidentally. He wants to listen to Logan ramble about some new advancement in quantum gravity. He wants Virgil to come plop down next to him while everyone else is in the living room. He wants Remus to stay with him while they watch the others get into ridiculous fights over board games. He wants Roman to not be afraid to come talk to him.

He wants.

Janus is selfish.

But he isn’t stupid.

He knows they don’t want him. He knows they don’t want him, even without the masks. Deep down, he knows they don’t need him either.

But Thomas does.

So here Janus will stay, in the dark, in the cold, wearing too many masks of his own face to keep count.

—————————————————————

The Mindscape is cold. It never quite feels solid. Drafts blow in and out of the walls, through the little gaps in the floor, from places that Janus can’t find, no matter how many times he looks for them. He bundles himself up in his cloak and his hat and does his best to hold still, sink in as much warmth as he can. He sneaks up behind the others, pressing himself up near them, purring in their ears, just to snatch their body heat. They always shove him away with flustered protests and blushy little faces. They’re so adorable.

Plus, he knows that’s all he’s ever really going to get from them.

But he’s cold, goddamnit. Why do they keep the air conditioning so high in this house? Snakes are cold-blooded. They get slow. Lethargic. Hypothermic, if it gets very bad.

Janus can’t afford to be slow.

So he wears his gloves, his cape, his hat. He stands opposite the window so he can get the most sunlight. He finds the patches of warmth where none of the others will find him and he can curl up for the warmth he needs...

…and fine, maybe it’s a little more than just being cold.

The others are…touchy. Patton throws his arm around just about everyone. Bumps his hip against theirs. Pats their shoulders, squeezes their hands, kisses their cheeks. Roman sweeps people into his arms, pulls them in for hugs, keeps an arm around their waists for as long as he’s allowed. Remus can and will just tackle whoever he wants. Logan holds himself a little further away, but even he’ll lay a comforting hand on someone’s arm. Janus will admit he was shocked when Virgil started exhibiting spider characteristics. That Side is a cat and you will not convince him otherwise. And everyone knows if a cat falls asleep on you, you’re not allowed to move until it wakes up.

Not that Virgil has fallen asleep on him recently.

Janus is not too proud to admit that at first, he didn’t want their touches. He had a job to do, he didn’t need to be distracted. But now…now he does.

He sees the way they move around each other and it stings. The accidental brushes he gets from standing too close or when they aren’t thinking about it sear through layers and layers of clothing to burn into his skin. When he stays close to them—close, but not too close—his whole side begins to tingle, reaching for them, their warmth, for them. But now it’s too late. His mask is already firmly in place and they know Deceit hates being touched.

That’s another reason for the layers. For the gloves.

Janus knows that if they ever touch him directly, skin to skin, his mask will shatter. And that is too dangerous to risk. With his gloves, his cape, his hat, his masks, the only way that would happen is if one of them tried to touch his face.

And that is certainly very likely indeed.

The clothes give him a barrier. A last line of defense. No touch is better than unexpected touch.

But that doesn’t stop him from being cold.

He can tell it’s going to happen when he can’t quite close his fingers around the end of his staff in the middle of their conversation. His gloves don’t catch on the wood quite right and he has to fumble to grab it properly. He glances up. No one’s looking at him.

Are they ever?

He tucks his hands smoothly out of sight, frantically burrowing them into his cloak to see if they’ll warm up. He locks his knees. No good. His fingers start to hurt as he flexes them. They’re still not moving faster. It’s cold.

He glances at the clock. Two minutes. He can last two minutes. Or so he thinks, until his jaw starts to clench. He clenches it harder, ignoring the protest from his neck, his shoulders, trying to make it stop. He takes a deep slow breath and tries to relax, to stop his muscles from tensing. It works, barely.

One minute.

His hands aren’t responding properly. He can barely move his fingers. He just needs to get out of here. If he gets out of here he can get warm. He has his electric blanket, he has everything he needs. He just needs to leave.

Thirty seconds.

The conversation draws to a close and Janus nods deeply, tossing one last barb over his shoulder as he sinks out, only to collapse in the hallway as soon as he does. A draft flows out right next to his shoulder, freezing fingers dancing up his arm, along the back of his neck, diving into his collar to snatch more of his warmth. He curses, heaves himself to his feet, and makes it to his room. It’s so cold.

Something tugs in his chest. No, no—!

“I suppose there must be a good reason for summoning me back,” Janus drawls, snapping his gloves right back into place as he appears in the living room.

Patton and Virgil stare back at him. Patton fidgets with his hands. “W-well, we, uh, I had a question for you.”

Damn. “Well.” Janus spreads his arms, trying to play off how slow he’s moving for dramatic effect. “I’m here. Ask away.”

“I, uh, a few days ago you mentioned that you didn’t feel as welcome here.” Patton looks at him with such an expression of sincerity that it makes Janus’s tongue itch. “And I wanted to know what I could do to help.”

“Aren’t you sweet?”

Patton won’t be deterred, it seems. He stares at Janus, resolute as ever. It’s so cold in here he’s going to start slurring in a moment.

“Janus?”

“That is my name, yes.”

“Are you…are you feeling alright?”

Janus gestures to himself, movements growing slower by the second. “I’m right here, aren’t I?”

Slow. Too slow.

Patton frowns. He gives him a look. “You don’t seem like you normally are, are you sure?”

“I am entirely in one piece.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Honey, if you’re looking for a straight answer, I’m afraid you’re looking in the wrong place.”

Virgil moves. Right, Virgil was here too. Janus is slow. Too slow. He can’t move. He can’t get away. His mask forms a bored expression on his face, quirking an eyebrow. Virgil approaches him and holds out a hand. A cold part of Janus’s chest leaps.

The lips of the mask part. “And what exactly do you intend to do with that?”

“This,” Virgil mutters, and cups the side of Janus’s face.

Everything stops.

Distantly, he feels Virgil’s hand leave his face. Hears something about being too cold. Sees a blur of blue rush away. But all he can focus on is—

Warm. Virgil touched you. Warm. Warm. So warm. Keep the mask on. Don’t let the mask slip. Warm. If the mask slips everything will be ruined. Warm. Don’t you remember how to take the mask off? Virgil. Patton. Warm.

“Janus? Janus!”

Janus blinks. Virgil is still standing in front of him. There’s a little wrinkle between his brows. The mask is frozen in place, iced into a neutral expression.

“Hey,” Virgil says quietly, “you’re freezing, bud. You gotta get warm.”

Janus can’t speak. The mask is so cold.

“You remember what happens when you get too cold,” Virgil continues, taking a step closer. Janus can’t move. Virgil’s frown deepens and he tilts his head. “What’s going on, Janus, you don’t normally let it get this bad.”

Yes, Virgil, we’re aware.

“You could’ve asked, dude,” Virgil says, taking another step closer, a little exasperation mingling with the concern, “any of us.”

The mask smirks. Barely. “Yes, because I’m sure everyone would be so willing to cuddle me so I could steal their body heat.”

“You don’t know that.” The mask doesn’t move. Virgil glances over his shoulder. When he speaks next, his voice is lowered to a whisper.

“You don’t have to keep that on right now, Jan,” he says quietly, “it’s okay. It’s just me. I know you. You can…you know. Emote and stuff.”

Janus huffs a laugh. It’s weak.

“You ever wear a mask so long you forget how to take it off?”

Vigil pauses. “Huh?”

“Ever pretended to be something for so long you forget which is real and which isn’t?” Janus’s smile turns sad. “Made yourself believe it too?”

Virgil’s eyes close for a second. When he opens them, the concern in his gaze takes the last of the warm breath from Janus’s lungs. “Does this have anything to do with…?” He waves in Janus’s direction.

Janus nods, slowly, so slowly. “I can’t. Because I’ve been…I’ve been trained out of it. I built my masks to hide behind. And now I can’t take them off.”

“And we haven’t been good about helping you do that, huh.” He sounds so tired. He’s been through so much…

“I’m…”

The mask won’t let him apologize.

Like they would ever accept it.

“No, no,” Virgil says, “don’t apologize. You aren’t to blame for what you’ve been put through.”

Oh, Virgil…

Virgil glances over his shoulder. Then he shakes his head. “Just…look, go.”

“What?”

“I know this isn’t the time to talk about stuff. You’re not in any sort of shape to do that and Patton will understand. Go get warm.” He gives Janus a pointed look. “You take care of yourself first, okay?”

He tries. He goes back to his room and buries himself in blankets, in pillows, in more layers than he can stand. The pressure is good but it’s still so cold. The weight of the electric blanket is nothing compared to the warmth of Virgil’s hand. Everything in here smells sterile, clinical, detached. It’s all so cold.

You take care of yourself.

The last sentence rings through his head late at night. He wants. But everyone’s probably asleep by now, and god knows they need to sleep. Surely it’ll be alright if he just goes to the living room? That’s not too far, right?

There’s a fire going in the fireplace—since when did they have a fireplace? And there’s someone sitting on the couch. Hmm. Maybe if…if he’s quiet, if he doesn’t make too much noise, he can slip in and soak up some of the warmth.

Virgil turns around.

“Hey, Janus,” he murmurs, standing, and comes over to him. “Can’t sleep?”

Janus shakes his head. It’s warm in here, but he’s still cold. Virgil can see that, apparently.

“Here,” he says, handing him a cup of tea that appeared out of thin air, “drink. It’ll warm you up.”

Janus takes it cautiously. Isn’t it Virgil’s? There’s no way Virgil would’ve know Janus was coming…right?

“This is my third one, figure I should let you catch up first.”

He gestures to the couch, an encouraging smile on his lips.

“Sit. C’mon”

Janus does, sinking into the plush couch and cradling the warm mug in his hands. The couch groans as Virgil sits next to him. He can feel Virgil just out of reach, just there…

“I like watching the fire,” comes a low voice from next to him as he sips the tea. “Helps me think. Or stop thinking.”

He keeps talking in that low voice and the warm tea flows through Janus, sapping the cold slowly away from his body.

Distantly, he feels someone steering him down onto the couch, and heavy arms around him.

“Or maybe you just need a cuddle. Go to sleep, Janus.”

—————————————————————

“ — stop twitching, Remus! You’ll make a mistake!”

“Stop tugging his arm all over the place and then you won’t.”

“Will you two pipe the fuck down? You’re gonna wake him up.”

“Says the loudmouth!”

“Roman, stop it.”

“Stop moving his arm!”

What is…? He’s lying on something. It’s warm, really warm. It smells like…coffee, makeup, and…cinnamon? He shifts slightly, and oh he slept on his neck wrong. A low groan escapes his throat.

His pillow stiffens. “Shit. He’s awake.”

“Good going, Remus.”

“You were the one yelling!”

“Shut the fuck up, both of you.” The chest underneath him vibrates. “Shh, snake-face, go back to sleep. You’re alright. Go back to sleep.”

Janus shifts again, trying to look around, but he’s held down by another strong arm. A hand cards itself through his hair—where’s his hat? “Shh, be still, buddy, you’re okay. Can’t we get you back to sleep?”

“What…’s going on?” His tongue feels heavy, swelling up in his mouth.

“I believe the chances of getting him back to sleep will increase if you tell him what you’re doing.”

It’s…Logan? He appears, fuzzy but definitely there, over the back of the couch. Janus tries to turn to make it easier to see him but his right arm is pinned and he can’t move—

“Easy, J, easy, shh, shh, you’re okay, you’re safe, just keep your arm nice and still, okay?” Virgil, it’s Virgil he’s lying on, runs his hand through his hair again. “I’m pretty sure Roman would pitch a fit.”

“Hah.” Roman snorts from somewhere close to the ground. “If this got ruined, yours would be too.”

“If you hadn’t insisted on going last,” Remus says, “this wouldn’t’ve been an issue.”

And then he feels it. Something is drawn sharply across his right wrist.

“Shh, shh, Janus, breathe, breathe, you’re okay, damnit, Princey, stop! You’re making him freak out!”

It’s gone, the contact is gone. His arm is still hanging over the edge of the couch but it’s held there by Virgil’s arm and another hand.

“Hey there, Snakey.” Remus appears over Virgil’s shoulder. “You’re okay. We’re just making sure you’re okay.”

Roman snorts. “There’s something wrong with how you phrased that.”

Then suddenly Patton appears out of nowhere and doesn’t surprise him at all. Luckily, or unluckily, Janus is far too exhausted and disoriented to react more than rucking up the fabric of Virgil’s hoodie a little. Patton looks at the couch.

“There isn’t room, Pop-star,” Virgil says, lazily stretching so his bulk takes up all of it, moving slow enough so Janus isn’t jostled too much. Then Virgil yelps and their lower bodies are lifted and he can feel the couch sag under another body.

“What the hell, Pat.”

“Now there’s room.” Patton reaches up and ruffles Virgil’s hair.

There are so many people and it’s warm but why are they all here? Did he miss something? Does he need to leave?

“Looks good,” Patton says, interrupting his train of thought, “it’s coming along well.”

Logan clears his throat. “Would someone like to inform Janus about what exactly ‘this’ is?”

“Oh, right, sorry, Snakey,” Remus says, crouching back down, “let’s show you.”

Virgil turns over slowly, lifting his arm and using the leverage to shift Janus onto his chest. “Jeez, Janus, you’re light. Patton, have we been feeding him enough?”

“I suspect there’s been a lack of communication, kiddo.”

“Now is not the time to yell at him, Patton,” Logan says quietly.

“I’m not yelling! But yes, now is not the time.”

Virgil coaxes his head to one side, and Roman lifts his arm by the back of his hand.

Janus’s mouth drops open.

There are little animals drawn on his right arm, from his wrist to his elbow. There’s a navy cat, simple and clean, near the vein. A light blue frog with little glasses. A purple and black spider. A green octopus with large black tentacles. And an unfinished red dragon right near his wrist.

“If I could finish,” Roman asks softly.

“Alright, calm down, here.” Remus lowers his arm and holds it steady. Roman puts the brush back to his arm and starts painting again. Virgil and Remus start arguing about something, probably, but he can’t focus on anything besides the soft bristles of the brush on his arm, the rumble of Virgil’s chest, and the warmth of the weight on his legs.

Logan stands behind his head. “You don’t need to wear a mask here, Janus,” he says softly, “not unless you want to.”

No one else hears him except for Patton. He gives Janus’s leg a squeeze.

It’s warm. It’s so warm.

He wants to watch as Roman paints the dragon but he’s tired but he doesn’t want to sleep yet…not just yet.

Patton reaches towards his face. His finger lands on his forehead and drags gently down the bridge of his nose.

What…?

Oh.

As he follows his touch, Janus’s eyes drift closed.

It’s so warm.

And a warm hand on his cheek wipes the last of the mask away.

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mellointheory · 3 years

Text

la lune, within our bones

He should probably be thinking about the kiss, but there’s pulsing lights and deep, determined bass and the buzz in his head from alcohol. The woman was sitting next to him at one point, but now one of her legs is hooked over his lap and her hands are in his hair and her lips are on his. He’s kissing her back, because on some level it’s what he wants to do, but most of his mind is occupied by watching the slow transition of the throbbing lights from blue to purple to red. There’s the wet-velvet sensation of another tongue in his mouth and the taste of peach from a drink he’s never tried, He’s not sure if he forgot her name already or if she never introduced herself in the first place.

“Oi, Punz!” Someone shouts. The woman pulls back, glancing over her shoulder at where Red stands with his boyfriend slumped in his arms.

“Stop trying to get your cock sucked and keep an eye on Ant for me while I go find Gumi.” Red orders, dumping Antfrost on the couch next to Punz.

“Sorry about this,” Punz says to the woman, compelled to apologize as he eases her off of him. She smiles, a little regretfully he thinks, and slides off the couch.

“Hi, Punzo.” Ant slurs, his cheek squished up against Punz’s shoulder. He’s absolutely wasted, eyes dilated from a combination of alcohol and lack of light to the point where his pupils have widened to take up most of his irises. His ears are perked upright, twitching and swivelling at the slightest noise.

“Hi, Ant.” Punz whispers back, because he knows the hybrid’s ears are sharp enough to hear him even if he keeps his voice down. “You ready to head home?”

Ant nods. His shock of pink hair looks purple in the blue lights, and Punz is compelled to reach over with the arm Ant isn’t pinning down and pat him on the head. Ant blinks, eyes drifting closed, and a stuttering purr starts up in his chest. If Punz had been irritated in the first place by getting interrupted, it would have taken no more than this to mollify him.

“Where did Red go?” Ant asks, lifting his head slightly.

“Getting Gumi.” Punz runs a hand through his hair, trying to get it to look less messy. He’s nowhere near as drunk as Ant is, but most definitely not sober enough to drive. Thank god Red’s less-than-legitimate profession as an enhancement maker gives him a better alcohol tolerance than the other three of them.

Red slides through the crowd again, this time hauling Gumi with him. She wavers a little when he lets go, but manages to stay upright.

“I’m gonna go get the car,” Red turns with a two-fingered salute and ducks through the throng of dancing, swaying people. Punz meets Gumi’s eyes as she waves, her mask removed for once and clutched loosely in one hand. She walks, very carefully, over to him and folds her arms.

“What’s up, bastards?”

“Hi, Gumi.” Ant lifts his head off Punz’s shoulder and raises his hand. Gumi lurches forward and high-fives him with more enthusiasm than her balance can handle. She stumbles and Punz rises to his feet and grabs her by the elbows, keeping her from falling.

“Can either of you walk?” He asks, turning to look at Antfrost still settled into the couch.

“Shut up, Punztholemew, I can walk better than you can!” Gumi declares. Punz already knows she’s lying. He takes a deep breath and turns around, hauling her up onto his back. She used to weigh less than she does now; but the metal reinforcements in her arms and legs add to it. Her chin rests on his shoulder and she folds her arms around his neck.

Moving slower, careful to keep from overbalancing the cyborg on his back, Punz reaches over to Ant and heaves him upright. If Foolish had agreed to come to the club tonight he would have someone to help him drag these two to Red’s car, but as it is he has to maneuver his way through the crowd and down the street without any help. He can sling Ant’s arm over his shoulders to help the hybrid walk, but Gumi’s too short for her to reach. He used to tease her for getting so many augmentations, yet not changing her height at all.

Red’s car is idling in the street when Punz has finally managed to shoulder his way through the crowd and get outside. The enhancement dealer reaches over and opens up the passenger side door, holding a hand out to his boyfriend. His pale green eyes catch the light from the club’s sign, turning reflective like a stray dog’s at night. Red is full human, much like Punz, but the amount of time he spends with whatever ingredients he puts in his concoctions...it changes him, subtly.

Punz slides Ant’s arm off his neck and helps the hybrid into the car.

“I miss my dawg.” Gumi mumbles into the back of Punz’s neck as he opens the car’s side door and eases her off his back into the middle row of seats. He slides in next to her and closes the car door.

“I miss Floof.” Ant says sadly from the front seat as Red steps on the gas.

“She’s literally at our house.” Red tells him patiently.

Gumi leans over and bumps her head against Punz’s shoulder. Her purple eyes are dark violet at the moment, lit only by the sporadic brightness of street lamps they pass. She’s not using them to read communications or analyze weak points or capture images, so their glow is dormant. It reminds him of back before she got her enhancements, when her eyes were always this dark and her bones weren’t reinforced with steel.

“Kazu’s at your apartment with your roommate, right?” Punz asks her, because he’d like to reassure her but he legitimately has no idea where her dog is. It’s not something he often concerns himself with.

“Yeah, but I miss him.” Gumi sighs, making grabby hands at Ant in the front seat. He flicks his tail back, above the center console, and she immediately wraps her hands around the soft fur. She always gets like this when she’s drunk; wanting to go pet whatever animal is in the vicinity. Antfrost is usually willing to stand in as a replacement when there are none.

The car falls into a comfortable silence. Punz stares out the window, watching the play of street lamps on the ground, how the light they cast dims almost to darkness until, just in time, another lamp is stationed to brighten the road again. Ant is purring in the front seat, the noise barely distinguishable over the rumble of the car’s engine. Gumi hums quietly to herself as she rubs the fur of his tail between her fingers. Every once in a while the humming becomes soft, mumbled singing that Ant joins in on before they both fade to silence again.

Sometimes Punz thinks about the irony of him and Red, both full unmodified humans, dragging a sloppy drunk cyborg and cat hybrid home from a club. Street noise down below, Gumi’s weight on his back as he stands outside the apartment door. Red fumbles with the keys, one arm wrapped securely around Ant’s waist as he tries to unlock the door. The hybrid is almost asleep on his feet, and as soon as Red gets the door open he uses his free hand to pick his boyfriend up and heads straight to their bedroom.

“I claim the burrito blanket!” Gumi whispers into Punz’s ear as he kicks the door closed behind them and carries her to the living room. He’s not actually certain if he’s ever been in this house sober, but both of them have slept on these couches enough that they know where everything is. He lowers Gumi to the loveseat and she immediately snatches the fuzzy burrito print blanket that’s draped over the top of it.

It’s easier for him to think without the overwhelming sound and lights, but his head is still foggy as he goes to the kitchen, squinting against the light that shines from the fridge when he opens it. He pulls out a bottle of water for Gumi, then one for himself, and leans against the door to close it.

“Punztholemew!” Gumi calls from the living room, head poking out over the top of the couch. She’s wrapped herself in the blanket, black jacket discarded on the carpeted floor. He looks over, then sighs and starts back to the living room.

“I love you!” She says, poking a finger into the side of his cheek.

He hands her a bottle of water. “Drink water, Gumi.”

“Say it back, bastard.” She frowns at him.

“I love you too, Gumi.” Punz says gently as he sinks into the recliner. She smiles and snuggles down against the arm of the couch, uncapping her bottle.

He lets his mind drift down into the haze of alcohol and exhaustion, staring at the blue light from the back of the tv. It’s the only light in the room and it illuminates the pair of couches, shag carpet, and Gumi’s curled-up form in soft milky light.

“Punztholemew,” she whispers, her face shadowed by the blanket wrapped all around her.

“Yes, Gumi?” Punz’s voice is gravelly in his tiredness.

“Where did my mask go?” She frowns.

Punz pats the front pocket of his hoodie and finds the curved dark mental there. He pulls it out and puts it on the coffee table. Gumi always wore the mask, even back when she was full human like Punz. He couldn’t have forgiven himself if he let her forget it at the club. “Here.”

“Oh, good.” Gumi yawns. “I miss my dawg.”

“You said that already.” Punz tells her. They keep their voices low, partially out of worry of waking up Ant and Red and partially because the dark room and the faint street noise and the blue, steady light of the television demand it from them somehow.

“Gumi…” Punz puts the hood of his jacket up and pulls on the strings, engulfing his face in white fabric. “Do they still hurt?”

She’s quiet, lifting a hand out of her blanket cocoon and staring at it thoughtfully. Hurting isn’t the word for it, Punz knows. Gumi could afford a technician who knew how to augment someone without fucking them up in the process. Hurting was just the way Gumi described it to Punz years ago, when they got drunk a few months after her surgery and she passed out on his couch crying about it. It wasn’t pain, she’d said, it was feeling like there was something missing about her, like the metal woven into her system made her less human. They didn’t talk about it often, only on nights like this when secrets whispered may not even be remembered when morning came.

“It still feels weird sometimes.” Gumi closed her fist, then tucked her hand back under the blanket. She lowered her cheek to the arm of the couch, the side of her face squishing up. “But nights like this are good. We all get to ignore them.”

Punz wasn’t known for his eloquence or anything, nor his ability to verbally comfort his friends. He wasn’t good at that kinda thing, nor did he fully understand what it was like for Gumi to have all of the little modifications that made her slightly more than human. All he could do was treat her the same as he’d always done: help carry her home even with the new solidity of the metal in her bones, let her lose her balance in her alcoholic haze even though if she wanted she could automatically stabilize herself even unconsciously. Let her have nights where she drank until she forgot, because sometimes it felt wrong to remember everything.

“Do you ever wish you hadn’t done it?” Punz asks. When she first made the decision she’d asked if he was going to do it too, and he’d said no because he couldn’t imagine letting his entire body no longer be wholly his.

“No.” Gumi’s answer comes without any hesitation. “I’m all strong and buff now. And I’m fucking cracked at combat.”

Punz cracks a smile. “You are.”

“I just like not always having to be like this.” One of her hands is absent-mindedly caressing the felt of the couch covers. “Is it annoying sometimes?”

“Is what annoying?”

“Havin’ to do all this funky monkey stuff for me when I’m wasted.” She giggles.

“Ant gets drunk as hell too and no one ever gets bothered by him.” Punz points out.

“It’s different, bastard.” She waves her middle finger at him.

“Damn, okay.” Punz laughs softly. “No, it’s not annoying. You’re just being you.”

“I’m s’posed to be better.” She mumbles, pushing her face into the arm of the couch. Silky black hair, highlighted in blue, blocks her face from his vision.

“You’re not supposed to be anything except our friend, Gumi.” Punz says gently. “And you still are. Always will be.”

“Pinky promise?” Gumi sticks out her hand across the gap between the two couches, hand in a fist except for her smallest finger sticking out. Punz stretches across, leaning a little to reach, and wraps his pinky finger around hers. She knocks their fists together, then lowers her hand.

“Love you, Punztholemew.” Gumi curls back up in her blanket burrito.

This time he says it back before she can remind him to.

#punz #vgumiho #antfrost #velvetiscake #velvetfrost #tw alcohol #a little different from what i usually write #mello writes #pummel party crew #ppcrew cyberpunk #long post

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chase-the-windandtouch-the-sky · 4 years

Photo

“I never thought I’d see a Crusader Priest in a hoodie.”

Nile says it innocently, not thinking anything of it. If anything, she was trying to lighten the tension in the car, the five of them stuck in the back of a van, their hands tied. It annoyed her how easy it was to restrain them once someone got the jump on them. She would assume that immortals would be imbued with super strength, but she feels as mortal as she ever did. Booker was right, as usual. Just because they can’t die, doesn’t mean they can’t hurt.

Except as soon as the words came out of her mouth, she feels like she wants to take them back. Nicky sits across from her, tied to the side of the car as far away from Joe as the captors could get them. It didn’t take a genius to figure out the two of them together were far more dangerous than separate. She’s watched the move together like water, all encompassing and forever together. He stills, his hands in front of his chest, head bowed. In prayer, she doesn’t think so, but if she didn’t know he was over a thousand years old, she would figure he was.

Glancing in the van, she looks for someone to explain what she could’ve said that was so wrong. Nile can’t help it, her eyes go to Joe, who hasn’t looked away from him.

It’s like staring at the sun, watching Joe gaze at Nicky. Blinding, beautiful, painful, and intense. It feels all encompassing and private, as though the moment becomes a physical presence around her. “It is a reminder.” Nicky says softly from his corner of the van. “I think it is important to remember your mistakes.”

“You know how I feel about—” Joe starts.

“Yes, you have mentioned before.” Nicky looks up, his icy eyes attempting something light, but even Nile can tell it’s nothing more than a blanket covering something dark.

“I think I can say the speech by heart.” Booker offers offhandedly, Joe glaring in response. “I’m just saying you two aren’t as private as some people would encourage.”

“You would think that after two hundred years, you’d be used to it by now.” Andy says, her voice only mildly irritated in that way that Nile has come to learn as annoyance with having to get out of chains. She wonders absently if she’ll ever get simply annoyed with capture. Where the fear filters out and it’s merely inconvenient.

“No, I still think we need to start investing in safe houses with insulation and separate rooms.”

“You know that everyone would sleep in the same room regardless.” Andy snorts, getting even a laughless breath out of Nicky. Andy relaxes at that, Nile slightly jealous at how she can read them. The woman is also focused on Nicky, whose hands are wringing together ever-so-slightly. Joe watches the movement.

Finally, Nicky looks up to Nile, his eyes warm. “There are certain things that stay with you, no matter how much you want to forget. You would think over time, they would melt away, like the rain on a window. But… others do not.”

Nile can feel Joe’s frustration to being tied up from across the van, his legs stretched out and nowhere near Nicky. He makes a huff, which Nicky merely snorts at. The two look at each other and she’s certain there’s a conversation happening she’ll never be privy. That is, until Nicky speaks.

“It was the first time I decided it was not God’s will to do what we were sent to do.”

***

The battlefield is ripe with the stench of death. Nicolo swallows, looking at the lives around him. His shirt is stained with blood of the lives he’s taken, and with a bit of his own. He’s understood that God has given him a gift to reanimate – despite his terrifying first few deaths, Nicolo understood his purpose. He wasn’t meant to die, until his finished God’s vision of the world.

There’s a shout from behind him and Nicolo flinches, reacting in a violent swing that would make the most vicious of warriors flinch. Before he can even register what is happening, a figure falls at his feet, eyes wide and noises coming from his mouth that Nicolo knew would haunt him for the rest of his days.

Nicolo startles.

He’s seen this man before.

Except there’s no way that could be possible.

This man has died in his hands. From his hands. Even though Nicolo didn’t like to admit it, he also had been on the receiving end of the man’s sword.

Except, this time is different.

Nicolo drops his broadsword and places a hand on his cheek as the figure collapses. He has the sort of curls that easily twine around his fingers, and eyes that seem to carry Universes. Universes that makes Nicolo think of the lessons that God has tried to teach him, but he could never find the answer. The man before him, blood staining his teeth and dripping from the corner of his mouth. The man he’s seen many times.

Nicolo utters a quicker prayer, dropping to his knees. This is not like what they have taught him. The man before him is the sun and is light and Nicolo draws closer. “I am sorry.” He finds himself saying in a shaky voice, even though he knows the man won’t understand.

Except.

Something incredible happens. The pulsing of his heartbeat grows stronger under Nicolo’s touch, the faint rhythm making his breath hitch. He looks down at the man’s shirt, still stained with blood, but no longer spreading. Nicolo jerks his hand away, shocked. He knows he shouldn’t be – he’s seen his body heal in the mirrors he found in camp, but… this was supposed to be God’s will.

He was taught to hate the man before him, and yet, here he heals.

“Praise God,” Nicolo mutters because he doesn’t know what else to say.

The man grips Nicolo’s hand, the blood stain in it smearing against he own. He slowly catches his breath and mutters under his breath, a language that Nicolo knows not, but sounds like poetry and music. He wonders if the man ever gets tired of speaking because he isn’t sure he’d ever tire of hearing his voice.

“Nicolo, what are you doing?”

He startles at his name, Nicolo standing up to see a few other priests standing before him. Like carbon prints of each other, thoughts and opinions copied until he isn’t sure if they kept their humanity any longer.

For the first time, he sees.

He sees like he hasn’t before.

In that moment, Nicolo reaches truth.

He swung his sword in a violent motion, thinking anything different as a threat. Except, the man desperately trying to get to his feet behind him, was not threatening. He held on Nicolo’s hand as if he was trying to teach him something. Something he knew Nicolo needed to learn.

Instead, Nicolo killed him.

He was not a human, not a priest, he was a feral animal unleashed unto the world under the guise of destiny. Perhaps…

Perhaps destiny had answers humans couldn’t understand.

“What are you waiting for?” They ask.

The world is quiet to him. Even though he hears the screaming around him, the fight and the lives lost, Nicolo hears nothing but the wind. He listens for God, for destiny, for whoever to tell him that he was wrong.

The man behind him says something, the words washing over him. He may not understand the words, but he understands the feeling.

Destiny.

“I was waiting for a sign from God.” Nicolo finds himself says. He takes his sword in front of him, spreading his legs in the attack stance he was taught too many years ago. “And this is not what God wants.”

The confusion on their faces is only for a second. They twist in something inhuman, in something that he was taught to fear. But, Nicolo was not afraid.

Before they can reach him, Nicolo lets out a gasp. Looking down at his chest, he sees a curved sword impaled through his chest. “My god,” Nicolo mutters.

“They will torture you.” The man whispers in his ear in a broken Italian. Desperate. “They will call you… demon. You can’t let them. We need… time.”

Nicolo feels his breath on his neck, a shiver running down his spine. “I will find you.” He mutters, his words catching as he sees black spots curling around his eyes. “I-I—”

“I am counting on it.” The man says. “And I you… Nicolo.”

Nicolo lets out a choke of a laugh. “Not fair, you know me.”

The man takes the blade out of his chest in a quick movement. Nicolo falls to his knees as he does so. He has fallen to his knees so many times. Except, this time, he feels free. Even as he can feel his body fight against the wound, the skin stitching back together like the chainmail wrapped around his head, he’s never felt more alive.

The man stands over him, a bright smile on his face, his own wounds nothing more than a ripped shirt. He blocks the sun, but then again, maybe he is the sun. “Yusuf.” He states, placing his hand over his chest. “Until we find each other.”

“Until…” Nicky chokes on the blood pooling in his mouth. “Until we find…”

He can’t say anything further. Instead, he’s lost in the sun and the world and the Universe. There’s nothing in the world that’s made him feel like this. He staring at a man he was taught to hate and he feels… infinite. He feels as if he’s watching the sun rise after a cold night, the frost on the leaves dripping onto the ground. He feels like he’s heard a psalm for the first time, understand God in a way he’s never thought.

His mind goes blank.

The chainmail falls off his head, his body covered in metal. The chains were off. Nicolo was free.

***

“I spent my life in metal.” Nicky says. “I need to remember what I learned.”

“Plus, watching a man walk around in chainmail isn’t exactly discreet.” Booker offers. “But I’m in full agreement that you should do that.”

“Fuck off, Booker.” Andy snorts under her breath, but she’s still searching between Joe and Nicky.

“But, why?” Nile asks, unable to stop herself. “Why would you want to remember all of that?”

Nicky sucks in a breath, his eyes meeting Joe’s. It’s soft and powerful and unyielding. He doesn’t even tear away to answer Nile, his attention forever Joe’s. “To remember that you can try to do what you think is right, but you can be wrong. That mistakes you make can be transformed into something beautiful. By… someone beautiful.”

The moment is fraught, tense, and intimate.

“My god, I need alcohol if you two are going to be like that.”

Joe and Nicky snap out of whatever gaze they’ve lost each other in, both laughing at themselves. “Book’s right,” Andy says, relaxing ever-so-slightly when Nicky smiles, the haunt behind his eyes fading slightly. “Let’s use that energy to figure out how get out.”

“Oh, you haven’t?” Joe asked, bringing his hands up. Nile’s startled to see that there’s no zip ties on them, his wrists not even pink with the pressure anymore. “I just couldn’t wait.”

He crosses the back of the car with a couple strides, placing his hand on the back of Nicky’s neck and pulling him close. The car rattles and bumps, Nile staring that the two, very aware of the handcuffs on her wrist.

“Yeah,” Booker sighs, rolling his eyes at her. “That’s the most pressing thing at the moment.”

There’s no heat in it and she finds herself joining him in her fond exasperation.

It lasts another ten seconds before Andy seems fed up with the whole scenario and kicks the two of them. Another thirty until they’re all free.

A final sixty for the five of them to job out of the car, the bindings nothing more than a memory.

And the memories fade, as insignificant memories do.

Nile hangs back with Booker and Andy, Joe and Nicky in a world the three will never be invited. As the moon shimmers against their shoulders, she thinks she may be alright with that.

#the old guard #nicky #nicolo di genova #nile freeman #joe #yusuf al kaysani #yusuf x nicolo #joe and nicky #lindsey draws #lindsey writes #the old guard fanart #the old guard fanfiction #drabbles #andy #andromache the scythian #booker #sebastien le livre #canon like violence #tw: blood

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