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dumb-but-happy · 2 months ago

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The Kirby Rant That You All Wanted So Much™

I’m gonna give you all a little plan of what’s gonna happen :

1. The overview of the main games (+1)

1.1. The copy abilities

1.2.1. The bosses

1.2.2. The Soul bosses

1.3. The Star Allies

1.4. The ancients

2. The music

3. The modern era’s themes

4. Anecdotes

Know that once you click on read more,

My one and only Kirby headcanon is that Sectonia is transgender.

So I guess I’m gonna start at the beginning, Kirby’s Dreamland. It’s a simple game with some of the gameplay staples already present, walking, running, inhaling, spitting, swallowing and floating. Recurring bosses also appear for the first time here, with Whispy Woods (a tree), Kracko (where there is a sky, there is a Kracko), and King DeDeDe (technically the only time he’s a final boss) It also has the Extra Mode. There really isn’t much to add, just that it’s a simple game.

Next is Kirby’s Adventure, the first game with copy abilities, making swallow go from almost useless to extremely important. It also adds a new character, Meta Knight, who at that time is neither protagonist nor antagonist.

Now begins the Dark Matter Trilogy, which is something that shaped the rest of the series. Meta Knight does not appear within the trilogy.

The first game of that trilogy is Kirby’s Dreamland 2, which introduces Dark Matter as a whole, specifically Dark Matter Blade (yes that’s its official name). That game also introduces two concepts. The first one is the concept of bad end, which is exclusive to the Dark Matter Trilogy, and happens when you don’t collect every main collectible and locks you out of the true final boss and gives you a teaser of said boss. The second one comes back out of the DMT and it is the concept of final transformation. In this game, the final transformation is the rainbow sword. Also, animal friends first appear here, and those are the most well known, Rick, Kine and Coo.

(Kirby super star came out here, I’ll talk about it when super star ultra though)

The second game of the DMT is Kirby’s Dreamland 3, with other, new and more numerous animal friends, I unfortunately do not know their names (except Chu-Chu) and honestly can’t be bothered to look them up. The final transformation is the Love-Love stick and the true final boss is Dark Matter (singular entity) followed up by Zero (an eyeball). Zero is the boss that makes people say "Kirby isn’t for kids". Also there’s a boss named Ado here.

The third and final game of the trilogy is Kirby’s Crystal Shards, with the first of two occurrences of copy ability combination and also the second appearance of Ado, which now takes the name Adeleine (the name didn’t change in Japanese, this is how we know they’re the same). The eponymous crystal shards are the collectible of the game and allow to unlock Ribbon’s Crystal and the fight against Zero Two.

Now comes what I like to call “The Drought”, it contains either weird games, spin offs or remakes.

And first off, a remake of Kirby’s adventure, Kirby Nightmare in Dreamland. The only difference is that Extra Mode is replaced by Meta Knightmare (you play as Meta Knight).

Alright I’m not going to talk about it but this is when Kirby Air Ride came out.

Now comes Kirby and the Amazing Mirror, which is confusing both in gameplay and in lore; and misleading in its title. The French title is better, it’s “Kirby and the Labyrinth of Mirrors” and that’s what it is, a labyrinth of mirrors. One of the few times King DeDeDe doesn’t appear anywhere in the games. The final copy ability is Master (it’s Galaxia but it didn’t have that name at the time) and the final boss is Dark Mind.

Here comes the weirdest of all, Kirby Squeak Squad, the game that started the joke of “Kirby kills gods over cake”. Forced to tell you the story here, Daroach steals cake from Kirby and puts it in a chest but there’s another chest that contains Dark Nebula and Daroach picks up the wrong chest. Shenanigans happen and Dark Nebula is killed by Kirby using the Triple Star copy ability (Mjolnir that can also do fire and ice). Also, copy ability fusion appears here too, for some reason. I’ll ignore them though, because the requirements are different than usual (I remembered them too late for that).

First, I’ll talk of the things that are common in the two games (except for the sub-games). There are the helpers, which can be summoned if Kirby has a copy ability that isn’t Crash, Paint or Sleep (the first two are screen wipers and therefore single-use and the third is Sleep, which doesn’t do anything) and serve as a player two.

Let’s talk about the Kirby Super Star Ultra sub-games in two parts :

First, Super Star :

The first I’m going to talk about is Spring breeze, a remake of the first game. Nothing to be added here except that it must be completed to unlock the rest.

Next is Dyna Blade, which plays like a normal Kirby game and the final boss is Dyna Blade.

Then, it’s Gourmet Race, one of the three most well known sub-games, where you race against DeDeDe to get the most food and finish first.

Up next is The Great Cave Offensive, where you try to get out of said cave while gathering as much treasure as you can.

After finishing Dyna Blade, you unlock one of the two big sub-games, The Revenge of Meta Knight, where Kirby must destroy the Halberd to prevent the invasion of Dreamland by Meta Knight and his crew. The final boss is Meta Knight (how surprising). Note that this means that the Halberd was destroyed prior to Kirby’s Dreamland 3.

After clearing all previous sub-games, you unlock the second big sub-game, Milky Way Wishes. It has no original bosses on the main planets. On the original bosses however, there is a lot of lore that becomes important later. It’s also half the reason everybody thinks the cute helper in Kirby will betray you (only happened twice). There is a gimmick in this sub-game; it’s that swallowing enemies does not give you a copy ability. Instead, you must find Copy Essences Deluxe; with the notable exceptions of Crash, Sleep and Paint. The penultimate boss is Galactic Nova and it is where the final ability, Starship, is found. The final boss is Marx (Max in Europe for… communist reasons).

After clearing the last sub-game, you gain access to the Arena. Which is a boss rush, not much to add.

There are two mini-games in this game, Samurai Kirby, a test of reflexes, and Megaton Punch, which is where the picture with cracked Popstar comes from.

Now Super Star Ultra (all previous sub-games return), which will be split in two parts :

First, what changed :

Cutscenes are in 3D; Spring Breeze is easier on the first playthrough; there is a dialogue between Meta Knight and his crew towards the end of The Revenge of Meta Knight; and the bosses in Milky Way Wishes have design changes.

Now the brand new sub-games :

There are three new mini-games, Kirby Card Swipe, where you must tap on the correct card first, Kirby on the Draw, where you must tap the target to shoot them, and Snack Tracks, where you must remove obstacles but not the food.

After beating 13 bosses in the Arena, you unlock Helper to Hero, which is a boss rush except that you don’t play as Kirby but as a Helper and the last boss isn’t Marx but Wham Bam Jewel, which is a harder version of Wham Bam Rock.

Next is Revenge of the King, which is the Extra Mode of Spring Breeze and is unlocked by finishing Milky Way Wishes. If you think it sounds like Revenge of Meta Knight, you’d be right; DeDeDe even gives Kirby a hammer at the end, that’s how far the parallels go. You fight harder versions of the bosses (the revenge versions). The final boss is Masked DeDeDe and his now iconic theme.

After finishing Revenge of the King, you unlock Meta Knightmare Ultra. In this game mode, you play as Meta Knight through all the game modes except Revenge of the King. Also, Marx, Meta Knight and Galactic Nova aren’t fought in there however you fight the horror, the Dark Souls boss of Kirby, Galacta Knight.

After clearing everything, you unlock the True Arena, where you fight all the hardest bosses and the true final boss, Marx Soul.

Alright, we’re done with the drought. It might look full, but reminder that the biggest part is a remake. Now begins the Modern Era, which take parts of a cancelled game, Kirby GCN. Each game has a gimmick.

To start off the era, the game that brought back Kirby, Kirby’s Return to Dreamland (and its remake). This game’s gimmick is the Super Abilities, which are transformations that make you feel like god. There are 4 important game modes in the original and 5 important game modes in the remake. The first game mode that you can play is the Main Mode, which is just playing through the game normally, the final copy ability is Landia and make you fight the penultimate boss, Lor and Magolor. The final boss is Magolor, the second half of the fucking joke that only ever happened twice. The second game mode you should play through is the Arena, which is the now usual boss rush. Now here’s the interesting thing, the Extra Mode is the canon mode in this game because the remake has a cinematic that shows us that Magolor Soul is the canon final boss in the Magolor Epilogue (which is unlocked after clearing the Extra Mode). The Extra Mode is also more interesting in terms of lore. The Magolor Epilogue is a mode in which you play as Magolor and try to recover your full power. Finally, you unlock the True Arena, where you fight all the hardest bosses (the epilogue’s bosses are present in the remake) plus Galacta Knight (still the Dark Souls boss of Kirby and the dodge is shit).

Then came out Kirby Triple Deluxe, which I think is a starting point for a lot of people. This game’s gimmick is the Supernova transformation, which makes you feel like god. There are, once again, 4 important game modes. The Main Mode is where you go through the game normally, there is however no final copy ability, instead you fight Sectonia’s final form with Supernova. The second game mode you should play is the Arena (I won’t present it anymore). Then you should play through DeDeDetour! which is like Metaknightmare but with DeDeDe instead. The final boss of this mode (and the reason I even talked of The Amazing Mirror) is Dark Meta Knight’s Revenge (and one of three occurrences of blood in the modern era), but not before having fought Dark DeDeDe. Finally, you unlock the True Arena, with Sectonia Soul as true final boss.

Next came out Kirby Planet Robobot (peak 2D Kirby in my opinion, it is however an opinion). I’m gonna let you guess how many important game modes there are. The first one is the Main Mode, with Star Dream as a final boss (note that it looks like Galactic Nova) with the final copy ability being the Halberd. After that, the usual Arena. Then you should play Meta Knightmare Returns and oh boy is this the reason that the True Arena is so hard in this game. The final boss is a succession of bosses (nothing new) however there are more bosses than ever (see: Bosses section) and the final boss is Galacta Knight Returns. After all that, you get the True Arena, with the final boss being Star Dream Soul OS (the second occurence of blood in the modern era), which is a rare occurence of the final transformation being used in both Arenas.

Then came out Kirby Star Allies. The gimmicks here are the Star Allies and the Allies Power (such as the Friends Wheel). It’s also the second occurence of copy ability combination. The game doesn’t have the same four important game modes (though there are four important game modes). The first is the Story Mode, where the final boss is Void Termina and the final copy ability is Star Allies Sprinkler. Then comes the Ultimate Choice where the levels 1-5 are unlocked by finishing the Main Mode (note that this is this game’s version of the Arena, it is however very weird and I will only talk of levels 8 and 9). Then you should play Guest Star ???? Star Allies Go, where the true final boss is Galacta- wait what’s that butterfly do- HOLY SHIT OKAY. That was my honest reaction to seeing that happen. Anyways the final boss is Morpho Knight and now Kirby fans are afraid of orange butterflies. Now you can go back to the Ultimate Choice, where levels 6 and 7 are unlocked. After doing either of those two, you unlock level 8, Soul Melter, where you fight all the bosses (including Morpho Knight) and the orb form of Void Termina is replaced by Void Soul. In a later update was unlocked Heroes in Another Dimension, which is just a test of your abilities with various abilities and Star Allies. After that, you unlock level 9 of the Ultimate Choice, Soul Melter EX, where you fight the harder versions of a lot of bosses and Void Termina’s orb form is replaced by Void. This game explained a lot lorewise.

Finally, Kirby and the Forgotten Land and, in my opinion, peak Kirby altogether. The gimmicks of the game are the mouthful mode and the abilities upgrade. There isn’t exactly a mode separation here, meaning that everything is canon. First, you go through the normal worlds until the end of world 3, which is where you unlock the Colosseum and the only place you can fight Meta Knight. The first cup is the Meta Knight Cup, with only the bosses and mini-bosses of worlds 1-3 and Meta Knight, giving us a grand total of 6 battles. Then you go back to the normal worlds until the end of the game, with the first final boss being Fecto Elfilis and the final copy ability being Big Rig Mouthful. There, you unlock the Ultimate Cup in the Colosseum, where you fight every boss and mini-boss of the normal worlds. Then comes Forgo Dreams, where you must collect enough fragments of Leon’s soul to unlock the Forgo Land. Here, the final boss is Soul For- WHAT THE HELL? HOW ARE YOU BACK. So the final boss is actually Morpho Knight again. Except he’s canon now. After beating Morpho Knight, you unlock the third and final cup of the Colosseum, the Ultimate Cup Z, with 12 bosses again. The true final boss (which is very much canon) is Chaos Elfilis.

Well that’s it for the game overview. Now the Copy abilities, sorted by order of appearance, alphabetical order and a little bit on each of them.

Kirby’s Adventure :

- Backdrop, which only ever appeared in that game and its remake. You are now a catcher and have a move called Back Breaker.

- Ball, which only ever appeared in that game and its remake. It transforms Kirby into a ball.

- Beam, our first staple, appearing in a lot of games. Absolutely OP against most of Whispy Woods appearances (especially return to dreamland).

- Burning, a transformation that technically still exists, though it fused with Fire. It transforms Kirby into a horizontal Meteor.

- Crash, another staple, starting in this game, and only missing a few like Crystal Shards. It’s a screen wiper, mini-bosses don’t stand a chance, useless against bosses.

- Cutter, the only copy ability I will call Grand Staple, because it appears in every mainline game except Kirby’s Dreamland. It’s got good range and decent damage.

- Fire, a staple, misses a few games. One of its effect is that it’s super effective against Whispy Woods in Star Allies and it inflicts burning damage overtime in Forgotten Land

- Freeze, a transformation that fused with Ice. Creates a ball of ice around, preventing movement.

- Hammer, the transformation you see the most in (True) Arena runs because its jump attack grants invincibility while still doing decent damage.

- Hi-Jump appeared in a few games. It does what it says, jump high while inflicting damage.

- Ice, a staple, allows to breath ice, create an ice ball that has inertia and one of the few transformations that make you invincible when shielding, with the downside of removing the dodge.

- Laser, it bounces off slopes.

- Light existed for this game and its remake. It doesn’t do damage.

- Mike, a staple, three uses (including one screen wiper).

- Needle, a staple that can transform Kirby in a ball of needles.

- Parasol, a staple that was originally the only ability usable underwater.

- Sleep, a useless staple.

- Spark, a staple. It allows to create a force field in two different ways, including a mobile one.

- Stone, a staple that transforms Kirby into a rock impervious to damage.

- Sword, a staple I won’t present.

- Throw, see Backdrop, except it appeared more often.

- Tornado, an uncontrollable staple which transforms Kirby in a tornado that has trouble changing direction.

- UFO, a rare staple, hard to find. In Planet Robobot, you needed the Kirby Amiibo.

- Wheel, a controllable staple which transforms Kirby into a wheel that can turn very easily, though it can’t fly.

Kirby Super Star :

- Bomb, a staple that gives Kirby bombs, I don’t know what you were expecting.

- Cook, a screen wipe that gives food.

- Copy, allows Kirby to copy the ability of any enemy, useful in Milky Way Wishes. Only ever appeared in that sub game anyway.

- Fighter, a staple that gives Kirby the power of fighting (seriously are you expecting a surprise), by which I mean punch and kick.

- Jet, a transformation that gives damaging flight and missiles.

- Mirror, which allows for mirror powers shenanigans.

- Ninja, a staple that makes Kirby use the coolest moves I’ve ever seen. Also PARRY!

- Paint, appeared in this game and its remake only. It’s a screen wipe.

- Plasma, same thing as spark, but in green instead of blue.

- Suplex, same thing as backdrop.

- Wing, it’s a staple that gives Kirby a damaging flight and… it’s actually similar to Jet, I’m not gonna lie.

- Yo-Yo, it’s a yo-yo and Kirby looks like Ness that way.

Kirby’s Dreamland 3 :

- Cleaning, which had a number of abilities thanks to the animal friends. The enemy that gives it is a staple, not the transformation.

Kirby and The Amazing Mirror :

- Cupid gives Kirby a bow and arrow, later replaced by Archer.

- Magic, Kirby can now do a roulette that is absolutely OP (in squeak squad, he also does magic tricks)

- Mini, Kirby is now smol.

- Missile, Kirby transforms in a missile, what did you expect.

- Smash Bros., Kirby gets his Smash moveset.

Kirby Canvas Curse : Balloon, where Kirby becomes a balloon (only mentioning this because it’s a copy ability apparently)

Kirby Squeak Squad :

- Animal, the one I hoped was making a comeback in Forgotten Land (it didn’t), Kirby gains sharp claws and the ability to dig.

- Bubble, which allows Kirby to transform enemies into bubbles. Like Bubble Mario.

- Ghost allows Kirby to possess enemies.

- Metal, where Kirby becomes invincible but he’s slow and can’t float.

Kirby’s Return to Dreamland :

- Leaf, which gives Kirby sharp leaves to attack with, from thrown to tornado, and renders him invincible when shielding.

- Spear. Kirby gets a spear.

- Water, where Kirby finally becomes the Avatar, able to control Earth (Rock), Fire, Air (Tornado) and Water.

- Whip. Guess what? Kirby gets a whip.

Kirby Triple Deluxe :

- Archer. Kirby gets a bow.

- Beetle, where Kirby gets a beetle horn and attacks with it.

- Bell, Kirby gets a bell and is like a child with it.

- Circus, complicated, check this to have it all : https://wikirby.com/wiki/Circus

Kirby Planet Robobot :

- Doctor. Kirby makes potions for elements and attacks using medicine.

- ESP. Okay now that’s definitely Ness.

- Poison, which is rather similar to Water in terms of gameplay, except it can also do a cloud and orient the fountain.

Kirby Star Allies :

- Artist, which allows Kirby to paint things to life (like Adeleine, actually).

- Festival, a screen wipe with a cute dance right before.

- Spider, Kirby can now throw webs.

- Staff, look at Sun Wukong and yep, that’s it.

Kirby Fighters 2 : Wrestler, only mentioning it.

Kirby and the Forgotten Land :

- Drill, Kirby digs with that drill.

- Ranger, Kirby with a GUN, OH YEAH!

Jelly exists, apparently.

Kirby’s Return to Dreamland Deluxe :

- Mecha, check this https://wikirby.com/wiki/Mecha

- Sand, he’s gonna put some dirt in your eyes.

That’s done too now. I guess it’s the bosses now. I won’t do them all, only the important ones. The order is not exactly important.

- Whispy Woods : Usually, he or a cousin of his is the first boss

- Kracko : Where there is a sky, there is a Kracko. And also, he hates Kirby like Reverse Flash hates Flash.

- King DeDeDe : The boss that is only Final Boss once, the first game. I’ll talk more about another version of him though.

- Meta Knight, who has been possessed a lot and I mean a LOT of times. Not as often as DeDeDe. After Star Allies, it can be surmised that he trained against mind control because he wasn’t affected by Fecto Forgo.

- Nightmare, the final boss of Kirby’s Adventure, who sure does exist.

- Dark Matter Swordsman, who is a Dark Matter and (WARNING : THIS IS A THEORY) might be a deviant Dark Matter, because of the fact that the manual says that it is jealous of the friends Kirby has, while Dark Matters shouldn’t be able to feel positive emotions (THEORY END).

- Galactic Nova (Nucleus), which is a device made by the ancients to make wishes come true. I’ll talk more about this later though.

- Marx, the devilish buffoon, who tricks Kirby into summoning Nova in order for Marx to take control of Popstar.

- Masked DeDeDe, the version I will actually talk about. First the music is awesome and every time they remix it, it gets better (Masked DeDeDe, DeDeDe’s Royal Payback, Roar of DeDeDe+Masked and Wild D.D.D). DeDeDe put a fucking rocket inside his hammer for more power.

- Galacta Knight. Very little is known about him, but what little is known is absolutely crazy. Could destroy a planet or two on a whim according to Star Dream. (THEORY) Might be a Hero of Iore (THEORY END). The strongest combatant in the universe.

- Ado, later Adeleine, is a Human, a very rare sight in Kirby games and (THEORY) might be the creator of Drawcia, Paintra and Vividria (THEORY END).

- Dark Matter, (THEORY) a primal entity of the universe hellbent on destroying the Light of Joy (THEORY END).

- Zero, the leader of the Dark Matter, attacks using blood and Dark Matter as projectiles. During its second phase, it sheds its protective white sphere.

- Pix is surprisingly important for later, keep it in mind.

- HR-H -> HR-E, a robot created by humans on Shiver Star (which is the Earth, commonly accepted theory by now) left to defend the abandoned underground city. Important for the ancients.

- Miracle Matter, an important Dark Matter (probably a General). It has control over the elements, that’s important for later.

- Zero Two, which, while never confirmed to be a Dark Matter, probably is a Dark Matter. Oh boy, that one will probably have my head on a pike so (THEORY THAT MIGHT PISS YOU OFF ALERT) It is not a reincarnation of Zero in my opinion. While it does have an angelic theming, I think of it as meaning that while Zero might have been strong, this entity, which uses the same white shell as it, is an angel of death (THEORY END).

- Master Hand and Crazy Hand. They’re here, that’s fun.

- Dark Meta Knight, an amplified reflection of the worst parts of Meta Knight.

- Dark Mind, (THEORY TIME) it might be the reflection of Zero in the amazing mirror, which corrupted said mirror and made it so that anyone who looks into it is either corrupted or gets copied with their worst parts amplified (THEORY END).

- Daroach, Leader of the Squeaks, the mice thieves (their mice that are thieves, not people that steal mice). He is akin to a phantom thief.

- Dark Nebula. (THEORY) Probably an ancient Dark Matter Leader. I say this because it can possess people, has a singular eye, has a colour scheme very Dark Matter and can control the elements. And it has probably been stuck in that chest for hundreds if not thousands of years, so it can’t reach full power right away (THEORY END).

- Drawcia, the creation regretted by its creator.

(For the Return to Dreamland Bosses, I will talk about the EX bosses)

- Grand Doomer EX, leader of the Sphere Doomers, entities with the ability to create portals to travel through space time using Another Dimension. It is mentioned that the Sphere Doomers didn’t always look like that. It’s important for later.

- Metal General EX and HR-D3, the reason people think the Extra Mode isn’t canon, (THEORY) I say it’s just a multiverse thing BECAUSE it was supposed to be a boss for a cancelled Kirby Game and it just traveled from a world it existed to a world it didn’t (THEORY END).

- Landia EX, which is Landia drawing too much power from the Master Crown, and going a little mad. It is the keeper of the Master Crown because (THEORY) it is actually, in my opinion, 4 dragons fused into one, so there are 4 minds to corrupt instead of 1 (THEORY END).

- Lor EX and Magolor. The Lor is a ship that is implied to have a consciousness and is corrupted by Magolor. Important for the ancients.

- Magolor EX is (THEORY TIME) actually taking as much power as during the second part of his normal fight. That would make the fact that he transforms into Magolor Soul make more sense (THEORY END).

- Crowned Doomer, see Grand Doomer.

- Master Crown, an item with “infinite” power, the ability to corrupt those who wear it and open portals. In Magolor’s Epilogue, it possesses a tree and becomes the crown without a ruler, as exposed by its theme : “Mistilteinn, Tree Crown without a Ruler”. There is symbolism to be found here, but I won’t go into it.

- Paintra, sister of Drawcia.

- Queen Sectonia -> Flowered Sectonia. She looked like Taranza at first but then, he brought her a mirror, a beautifully cursed mirror, the amazing mirror. She looked into it. She wanted to look more and more beautiful and so she modified her body until she looked nothing like she did. She fuses with the Dreamstalk as an ultimate move to try to become the most beautiful and destroy Kirby.

- Shadow DeDeDe, while not canon, it’s the Shadow of the King after he looked into the mirror.

- Holo Defense API. Remember Pix? Yeah it’s important now, the design is similar, so it can be surmised Haltmann took the schematics and made it a defense system. It’s probably ancient tech.

- Susie, of her true name Susanna Haltmann, is the daughter of President Haltmann, though he forgot who she was after she was lost in Another Dimension. She was lost in there for years (she was a child when she fell into it and was of age to be hired by Haltmann when she came back out) and when she realised her father didn’t recognise her anymore, she strived to be the best in the company and to take away Star Dream from him. She succeeded and lost her father in the process.

- President Haltmann got obsessed with Star Dream after he lost his daughter. When Susie took away the control device of Star Dream, his Mind fused with the Program.

- Star Dream, the result of Haltmann finding the schematics for Galactic Nova. It can open portals, create a countdown to the Red Screen of Death, summon Galacta Knight and has a secret mode activated if it takes too much damage. Important for the ancients.

- The Three Mage Sisters (a developer said it could be religious sisters), Francisca, Flamberge and Zan Partizanne. They were all on the brink of death when Hyness found them. Their lives weren’t kind to them, since Francisca is implied to have been trying to commit suicide (who goes into a snowstorm like that), Flamberge was facing an inferno and who the fuck does that if they don’t want to die, and Zan Partizanne was climbing a tower in desperation so I’d say she wasn’t doing it for fun. Anyways they’re all extremely loyal to Hyness, even with his poor treatment of them. Also Francisca and Flamberge are implied to be in a romantic relationship.

- Hyness. The one and only character that ever mentioned the ancients, being one himself. He was a good person originally (as exposed by the fact that he saved the Mage Sisters) but he started worshipping Void Termina, and he started going madder and madder. All that until Heroes in another dimension, where his heart is finally saved.

- Void Termina, the closest thing the Kirby Universe has to a god. I’ll talk more about Void though.

- Morpho Knight. I won’t talk about him because too little is known.

- Clawroline, of her true name Carol, is a Leopard, close friend of Leongar. She is a general of the Beast Pack.

- Leongar, of his true name Leon, is the Lion Leader of the Beast Pack. He is possessed by Fecto Forgo.

- Fecto Forgo -> Fecto Elfilis. (BEEN A WHILE THEORY TIME) This might be the true form of the Grand Doomer, I say this because of the wings directly attached to the head and the ability to open portals (END THEORY). I say more with Chaos Elfilis.

Now, onto the Soul forms (take everything said here with a grain of salt)

- Drawcia Soul. No idea who she is, but she was first.

- Marx Soul. He’s the form you see in Star Allies because (THEORY TIME) he can be seen absorbing part of Nova in the True Arena and in MetaKnightmare, Nova reassembles itself and is missing a few pieces, implying Marx absorbed those. Therefore, it can be assumed this happened in the canon timeline (THEORY END).

- Magolor Soul. He’s a fun one, because the epilogue shows us that’s the canon final form, therefore making the extra mode canon. He’s also the only one to appear in both the Extra Mode and the True Arena.

- Soul of Sectonia. She’s taken several Miracle Fruits (drugs) and is back to destroy Kirby (she fails). She’s given all she was to beauty and it is now all she has left.

- Star Dream Soul OS. It is activated because of the damage caused by Galacta Knight. It has a bit of Haltmann’s soul left, which is the reason it loses.

- Void Soul. It’s cool. Void is cooler though.

- Void, Astral Birth. It’s the thing that Hyness was trying to summon, and (YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME FOR THAT ONE) a chameleon god, who acts how the summoner wants him to act. While Kirby isn’t Void or one of his incarnations, he is probably an existence not unlike Void’s (THEORY END).

- Chaos Elfilis. That thing can control dreams (as proven with Forgo Dreams), space (major plot point), minds (Leongar), souls (major plot point) and light (one of its attacks). It is in constant pain and has forgotten who it truly is after absorbing so many souls.

Okay I’m done with that. Now I gotta do the Star Allies (Dream Friends + Elfilin)

- Bandana Waddle Dee (Bandee). Everyone likes him, he’s a little dude with a spear and is extremely loyal to King DeDeDe.

- King DeDeDe.

- Meta Knight.

- Animal Friends.

- Marx

- Gooey. A deviant Dark Matter that is just a goofball.

- Adeleine and Ribbon. They’re cool, okay, I just think there were better picks for Dream Friends than them.

- Dark Meta Knight. He is only there because he wants to be the most evil there is.

- Daroach.

- Magolor.

- Taranza. Still grieving his love, but wants to help his friend.

- Susie.

- The Three Mage Sisters.

- Elfilin. See Chaos Elfilis.

(THEORY TIME)

The ancients. The most mysterious people we know and yet we have so much on them. We know they were split in half (the Scientists and the Mages) and they made some of the most impressive things we know (Lor, Galactic Nova, Lix, etc). I don’t think all the scientists come from the same place. I think some of them come from Shiver Star and some others come from the Forgotten Land. I don’t know much about them.

(THEORY END)

Now the music, I will talk about two of them specifically.

First, Green Greens, THE Kirby song. It’s the song that plays whenever HAL Laboratory wants to hit the nostalgia button. It’s simple, it’s easily recognisable and everyone loves it. (Planet Robobot, both remixes).

Second, Masked DeDeDe’s Theme. Oh boy, this theme. Ever since it first appeared, it has a remix for each game (except Return to Dreamland (present in the remake) and Planet Robobot). In order, there is :

1. The original

2. DeDeDe’s Royal Payback, Triple Deluxe

3. Against a Sword-King, the Dimension to Win, Star Allies

4. Roar of DeDeDe was disappointing, not gonna lie. So imagine my joy when I heard Masked and Wild : D.D.D.. It’s an absolute Banger. Forgotten Land.

The modern era has some interesting themes, actually.

1. Return to Dreamland. Its theme is that if you chase the ultimate power, the only thing you’ll get is suffering (Magolor).

2. Triple Deluxe. If you are obsessed with how others see you, you’ll end up destroying yourself (Sectonia).

3. Planet Robobot. A classic show of Man versus Machine, sprinkled with the importance of family.

4. Star Allies. The power of friendship is the power to jump your enemies.

5. Forgotten Land. Human creations are worth nothing against Nature.

The anecdotes.

Did you know :

Kirby was always supposed to be pink. It’s just that Miyamoto thought he’d be yellow and was pleasantly surprised by the pink.

Kirby has this name for two reasons. For one, John Kirby, who won the lawsuit against Universal. For two, it’s surprising to have a K sound for a being so round.

The anime follows its own plot because Sakurai basically said redundancy is the killer of a good story.

Kirby has killed a child before (Void).

Kirby has yet to wield an axe.

Tag list

@illusionsignmisdirecti0n @pennyroyald @neoninglitchen @patrik6090 @vivian-the-fae @ridgette58 @vee1021 @mariyoursweetheart @izzythedemigod @differentglittertimemachine @totally-france @your-average-sentient-suit @moistgermany @iron-roses @mine-is-an-angel @angelicassassinations @eldritch-bean @best-kirby-character-tournament @my-mom-named-me-duck @helloareyouheremdfan @shr00mie-rat @kermit-the-fag-uwu

#this is what you wanted #it’s what you get #rant #kirby #kirby spoilers #why did i decide to do this #this is so fucking long

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eclairsnme · 2 years ago

Text

♡ POV: Being The Itoshi Brother’s Elder Sister ♡

Part 1 / Part 2

The brattiness continues (with a sprinkle of denseness)

tags: idol!you, crack comedy, reunion, familial love, sfw, somewhat of a brat (⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎)

notes: she thinks highly of herself, it’s almost as if she’s the reincarnation of Gojo Satoru.

oh, spoiler alert she's going to meet someone who also thinks very highly of himself. ^_−☆chu~

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔʕ⁎̯͡⁎ʔ༄ʕ⁎̯͡⁎ʔ༄

“Sae!”

The clacking of your high heels echoed throughout the airport as you chase your damn little brother.

What a sight out of a bad Netflix series, except it’s real life. But this is more like a horror movie for a celebrity like you. In your pristine clothes and all, chasing like a wild animal!

“Sae!” You huffed, trying to catch up with him.

Damn, that soccer player with his long legs.

What is a celebrity like me ME chasing a mere man down like that! -

That is exactly what your manager thought too, as he tries to keep up with you.

So, how did you exactly come to this point of peak desperation?

It all started last night when Sae relayed to you that he’s going back to Spain straight after the Japan U-20 match.

In all honesty, you didn’t really care all that much since an idol like you had better things to do (^-^)v.

Then it struck you. As a good sister… I should stop him!

Unlucky for you, being oblivious to all else except idol-related issues is your biggest flaw.

To put it simply, you were pretty dumb when it comes to relationships.

And that was the start of your plan to “stop” Sae from returning to Spain.

Lucky for you, Sae was smart. He halted his steps and said, “Sister, are you stupid?”

But his EQ wasn’t all that great.

“S-stupid?” You stuttered out at his bluntness.

“Yes.”

Sae looked around their surroundings noting that they had already caught the attention of some prying eyes.

Sigh

Sae continued, “Just go back home.”

“But,” you gave him your best puppy eyes. V✪ω✪V

But, indeed, he was unaffected by your usual antics.

“What business do you even have in Spain?”

“Well~ the business of being a good sister!”

A tangible silence ensues from the absurdity.

“Idiot.”

“Sae, is this how you see your sister? As an idiot, uncaring sister?” You asked him squarely still trying to put on your Oscar-worthy acting skills.

Alas, Sae did not respond to you but instead said, “I’ll let you know when I reach Spain.”

Sae entered his departure terminal leaving his pouty older sister.

Sighing, he looked back and gave you a little wave, after seeing you smile, he walked further in until you couldn’t see him.

Besides the two celebrities — a top idol and football prodigy — was their manager profusely bowing to each other to apologise for today's event.

Being a manager is not an easy job, especially when attending to the Itoshi siblings who do not have the best attitude.

Your manager turned to you, “Let’s get on with our schedule today shall we?”

“Did that act look like I was a very caring sister?”

Caught off guard by your question, Mr manager stuttered out a yes.

You let out a satisfied grin.

Job done !＼＼\\٩( 'ω' )و //／／

Mr manager sighed.

–

Inside the car, you asked Mr Manager what your schedule was for today.

“A commercial shoot for this up-and-coming game you will be promoting, a meeting with our sponsors and…”

And everything else that came out of his mouth just drowned out. You checked your phone and saw no reply from Rin.

I wonder how Rin is feeling after crying so much that day…

“Also, someone called our studio just now. It was a German man — I’m not sure what he said but he did mention your name specifically, and he addressed you by your real name.”

Your ears perked up.

“A German man who knows my real name?”

In your life, you only personally know one German man and his name is Kaiser something.

You met him a few years back in Germany. You thought he was an extremely unintelligent person as he kept speaking to you in German even though you didn’t understand a single word that exited his mouth.

You remembered he kept saying “Süße” (*sweetie) and he would always kiss the back of your hand, which you thought was a German thing.

What a culture shock it was, people in foreign countries sure do have a very different way of greeting people compared to in Japan.

“So did that man mention his name?” You turned to Mr manager.

“Michael Kaiser. He also left his personal phone number it seems.”

“Give me that number.” You held your hand out.

“D-do you even know this man? He could be a stalker!”

“Maybe~”

“Maybe?!” Mr Manager raised his voice, then he paused for a moment, “Hold on, that name Michael Kaiser sounds real familiar…”

As Mr manager wreck his head about that, you thought back about this Kaiser person.

Back when you were having your world tour in Germany, you had some free time to explore the streets of Germany. So you snuck out of your hotel room, it was all fun and games until you lost your way in a foreign country you have never visited before.

As a young girl, stuck in an unfamiliar country, unfamiliar street, and unfamiliar language, you could only cry.

That was when you met Kaiser.

Ah! How embarrassing it was to cry in the middle of nowhere now that you think about it! (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

So pathetic of me!

Both of you were pretty much strangers, you were surprised he remembered you and how he still managed to find you.

Oh! I really am a worldwide star! ↖(^ω^)↗

You giggled to yourself.

“Ah, I remember now!” Mr manager exclaimed, practically screaming into your ears.

You pushed Mr manager away and side-eyed him, “What is it?!”

“Michael Kaiser! He is a popular prodigy football player from Germany!”

Football player?

“Is being a football player a popular occupation these days?”

So this Kaiser person is a football player too? And a prodigy at that too? The world really has no shortage of prodigies huh?

Of all the football players you know, all of them are dubbed prodigies. That being said, you only know three football players — Sae, Rin and now, Kaiser.

“Mr manager, don’t tell me you are a football prodigy too?”

“Surely you jest, miss. I-if I was a prodigy,” he hesitated for a second then said in a hushed voice, “I wouldn’t be working for you.”

“What did you say?” You frowned at him.

“N-nothing!”

“As punishment for saying that, go call that Kaiser person and ask what business he has with me.”

“But I don’t speak German!”

“Go figure it out then!”

I shouldn’t have said that Mr manager berated himself.

“Oh, after my schedule, drive me to that restaurant I told you about,” you snickered, “I’m going on a ‘date’ with my youngest brother.”

—

“Did you wait long?”

You tapped your younger brother who seemed lost in thought.

“No… I just arrived too.”

He visibly looked disturbed by something and you knew exactly what it was.

“Are you still upset by your brother?”

Rin clenched his fist and swallowed down his frustration.

You placed your hand over his clenched fist and pacified him, “Don’t let it get to you alright? Sae is still going through puberty!”

A few days ago you booked (more like Mr manager booked) a private room in a fancy hotel restaurant, to treat Rin to something nice since you thought he looked pretty melancholic.

“Sister, puberty ends at the age of 16 for males.”

“Well, Sae will forever be a little boy to me! Anyways, order what you want! This sister of yours will be treating you so order up!”

You took a glimpse of the menu and salivate at the picture of the A5 Wagyu steak. Oh, how succulent and fatty it will be!

However, you reminded yourself that you have to watch your weight. As an idol, one cannot stress the importance of weight management.

You used all your 10 fingers to mentally count how much you’ve eaten today.

You grimly looked at the wagyu steak and fries and decided to go for a simple duck confit with a side of salad.

Rin glances toward you to see what you are ordering and saw you intensely glaring at the picture of a steak.

“I’ll get the duck confit with salad, what about you?” You close the menu bidding farewell to the steak.

“The wagyu steak for me,” Rin replied.

You signalled the waiter and placed the order.

After ordering, what followed was an air of silence and strong awkward energy.

After being an absent sister for god knows how many years, you’ve never really communicated much with this teenager Rin. You were only close to him when he was just a teeny tiny boy playing football with Sae. Even then, he was still closer to Sae.

Rin will only approach you whenever he was upset with Sae. He will then subsequently cry to you about his problems. Now he still cries to you as you recollect the day the U-20 match was over and Rin poured his heart out.

Not knowing how to proceed with this conversation or the lack thereof, you prompted him with a question, “Do you have a girlfriend?” (๑╹ω╹๑ )

Rin stared at you as if you were joking around, “I do not have time for that.”

“Is football the only thing on your mind?”

“Yes.”

“You are just like your brother.” You frowned at Rin and the other little one.

Rin’s resentment grew inside of him like a tumour as he is reminded of his brother.

Uh-Oh, I shouldn’t have said that.

You quickly tried to divert his attention.

“Ooohhhh look at this Rin! The photo for my photoshoot! Don’t I look absolutely gorgeous here?” You held up your phone and nervously giggled.

Rin eyed at your phone.

“It looks alright.”

“Just alright?”

Just like a game of ping pong, it’s your turn to seethe. In your list of top 100 things that annoy you, to have someone not acknowledge your beauty was number 97! It’s on the lowest scale because 9 out of 10 times, people will appreciate your beauty. The rest are just haters! _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

Humph! I’ll let that slide just because you are Rin-Rin.

You tried to think of a topic and were reminded of something.

“So what’s the deal with Blue Lock? Are you doing well there?”

Rin summarised his full experience in Blue Lock and he didn’t forget to sprinkle in his hate for this boy called Isagi and of course your other little brother.

Your little brother really needs to get some therapy with all these astonishing degrees of anger and hatred.

Then the food came interrupting Rin’s heated tirade on how much he hated Isagi and Sae.

You both had a hearty dinner and Rin kept shoving beef steak onto your plate despite you saying no, so you had no choice but to eat it.

It was a very conflicting experience having to eat something you love yet having calorie restrictions.

The life of an idol sure is tough.

After finishing dinner, both of you left the restaurant. Before leaving the hotel, you excused yourself to the toilet.

The toilet was so far you could’ve just walked half a marathon, not to mention it was secluded at the very corner of the hotel.

You sighed, at least I think I burned some calories.

“Süße!”

“!!!” You felt someone’s hand snaking around your waist. ⊙▽⊙

Thinking it's some creepy stalker of yours, you reflexively swatted the hand away. But the person in question was firm.

Perfume wafted through your nose as he presses his body against yours.

You let out a soft squeak at the contact. (〃ω〃)

Finally making eye contact with the man, you realise it was someone you know.

“Kaiser?” He smiled like a Cheshire Cat as you mention his name.

“Meine Leibe,” he brought you to a warm embrace, to which you similarly return his hug.

German’s greetings sure involve lots of skin contact, you thought to yourself as you felt Kaiser’s heat radiating through you.

He finally released you from the hug.

You quickly took notice of the rose tattoo that seemed to go from his neck down to his left arm which he didn’t have before when you met him in Germany.

You pointed to his tattoo to somewhat question him since you didn’t speak a lick of German.

He lifted his left hand for you to have a better look. You held onto his hand to inspect the tattoo but he had a better idea. He pushed his hands against your lips.

A soft shriek escaped you.

Your lipstick was sure to have stuck onto his hand. And more importantly, you have to reapply your lipstick!

What is this man thinking! ಠ╭╮ಠ

While you quickly reached out to your purse for your lipstick, you saw Kaiser bring his left hand to his own lips staining his lips in the process from your peripheral.

When you finished reapplying your lipstick, Kaiser was intently watching you.

You instinctively tried to rub off your lipstick from his lips but he was faster to grab your wrist and pulled you closer to him, so close that you were just a few inches away from his lips.

What’s wrong with Germans and their love for skin contact? Is this normal in Germany?

“I’ve been wanting to meet you for so long, meine liebe,” Kaiser said in German.

You drew a big fat question mark in your head. ( •́ ⍨ •̀)

What did he just say? And why does he look like he’s going in for a kiss?

True enough, Kaiser brought his lips to your lips. He invited his tongue through your parted lips tasting you for the very first time. He allowed his hands to yet again snake around your waist pulling you closer to him as if you weren’t already stuck to him.

What is this? This is a German greeting too right? ╭( ๐ _๐)╮

His other hand found its way to your chin. He tilted your chin slightly up to deepen the kiss.

As much as dancing your tongue with an old German friend was exciting, you couldn’t help but realise you were still in public. What if someone saw you?

You place both hands on Kaiser’s chest, slightly pushing him away and breaking the kiss.

“What’s wrong, Liebling?” His hands are still on your waist, trying to pull you back to him.

“Sister?”

You quickly detach yourself from Kaiser catching a glimpse of Rin from the corner.

You noticed that he was blushing. Oh, he definitely saw all that.

(๑•́ ₃ •̀๑)

“Rin!” You exclaimed feeling like you were caught in the middle of some illegal act.

“Is that your boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend?”

That’s unbelievable, never in your whole life have you had a so-called “boyfriend”. What is Rin on to make him believe that?

“Then, why were you kiss-”

You promptly interrupted Rin from his imagination, “This is my friend, Kaiser!”

You pointed over to Kaiser, and he took the opportunity to catch your hand into his grip and ultimately hold your hand.

“-just a friend,” you tried explaining it to Rin. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Rin, however, looked over at his sister and the blonde-with-blue-streaks-haired man who is almost as tall as Sae, who was just a second ago kissing so intimately and now holding hands like a couple would behave.

Hard to believe they are not a couple; what kind of friends eat out each other's face.

Kaiser? Rin ruminates on that name.

Rin knows a Kaiser who looks just exactly like him.

“Michael Kaiser,” Rin carefully enunciates his name, which causes the man himself to grin at him.

“Rin-Rin, you know him?”

“Prodigy player and also a member of the New Generation World XI,” said Rin glaring at Kaiser. (⩺_⩹)

In response, Kaiser didn’t say a word but just responded with the usual smug grin.

“What? When did you learn German, Rin-Rin?”

“What’s your relationship with my sister?” Rin continued to question Kaiser.

Kaiser brought your hand to his lips and gave it a gentle peck, “what do you think, Itoshi Rin?”

“You know me?”

“The little brother of Japan's football prodigy, Itoshi Sae, and you who will always live in his shadows as a nobody.” Kaiser snickered at Rin.

Raw anger shot through him. He yet again clenched his hand into a tight fist, seething with anger. Every word from him stung him.

Unsure of where this conversation is leading, you stared in confusion. That was until you saw Rin sudden change in mood.

What had made the conversation turn so sour for Rin?

You were dumb but your EQ was not that severe to not see that Rin was somehow at the losing end of the conversation.

You let go of Kaiser’s hand and ran to your little brother.

“What’s wrong?”

You saw the dark, gravel look on him almost as if he was about to break someone’s joint.

Placing a hand over his back and patting him just as you did when he was younger, you guided him down the hotel’s hallway towards the exit.

“Let’s go home.”

“Meine leibe?”

He received no response from you, instead he only saw your retreating figure.

☆〜（ゝ。∂）the end (for now) ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

< you have reached the end! thank you for reading babes! (〃∀〃)ゞ I really appreciate all the love you are giving to this ongoing series! look forward to more spine-crawling fluff! ʅ（´◔౪◔）ʃ *evil laugh* the harem begins now>

Part 3

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