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thetomorrowshow · 2 years

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defend

empires superpowers au masterlist (now fully updated!)

this is a heavy fic, folks. proceed with caution (then join me in ranting about scar's insurance /j). this is also pretty long whoops.

this story takes place about 5ish months after the end of 'poisoned rats'.

cw: self-harm (under duress), blood, flashbacks, referenced past torture, altered mental state (of sorts), emotional distress

“You’re safe.”

“No,” Jimmy whimpers. He doesn’t know where he is, so he can’t be safe. His master isn’t here. His master isn’t here and he doesn’t know where he is.

“Jimmy, please look at me.”

Jimmy ducks his head away, but after a moment drags his eyes up to meet whoever is speaking. Not his master. Someone with blue eyes and a grey beanie, and they’re holding Jimmy’s hands. He doesn’t know why—his leash is open for the taking.

“We’re in the grocery store,” the person says, holding his gaze. “Do you know that?”

He doesn’t know anything, but he nods anyway. He’s so very confused, glances around for Xornoth, doesn’t find them anywhere. Is this a guard? Why is he here without his master?

The person lets out a sigh of relief, squeezes his hands. “That’s good. It’s a little loud in here, would you rather go out to the car?”

Go out? Outside?

Now that the man mentions it, it is loud in here. Louder than most places Jimmy spends time in, louder than his cell and the lab and the meeting room. Jimmy nods, unsure if he’s allowed to say yes.

The man’s brows furrow and for a moment Jimmy’s certain he’s disobeyed, certain that he isn’t allowed to have an opinion. But then the man helps him to his feet—he’s still not pulling him by his leash, and Jimmy looks down at it, the way it drags behind him, pulling on his collar—but decides that if the man isn’t going to use it like he’s supposed to, he’s certainly not going to argue.

Outside is bright, far too bright, and Jimmy shields his eyes with his cuffed hands, pulling them from the grip of the man leading him. He cringes as soon as he realizes—now he’s going to be beaten for sure—but the man just hisses lightly.

“Right, I didn’t even think about how bright it is—how about I throw my jacket over you, yeah? It’s too warm for me to wear right now, anyway.”

Jimmy doesn’t respond in any way but pressing his hands further into his eyes, trying to block out any ray of sunlight.

Sunlight. He’s outside. It’s hot out, it’s so hot, there’s no breeze at all but it’s natural warmth and it’s so much better than the permanent chilliness of his cell. He’s not sure what he did right to earn this treat, but he’s going to bask in it.

Then there’s something dark over his head and Jimmy can lower his hands. He lets the man guide him, until there’s the sound of a car unlocking and a door opening, and he’s guided to sit in a car.

It’s not familiar at all. He gets in vans sometimes, he thinks, but he doesn’t know this car. He’s never allowed to sit in a seat. Something’s off about all of this.

“Jimmy? You all right?”

Jimmy’s not sure how this man knows his name because nobody knows his name, they can’t know his name, his name is the only part of him that belongs to him and no one else, the one thing Xornoth hasn’t taken from him—

“You can take the jacket off, y’know. You don’t have to if it’s still too bright, but if you want to you can.”

Jimmy doesn’t move. He’s supposed to have his head covered when he’s in the van. It’s the rule.

“Buckle up,” the man says, and Jimmy mechanically reaches for the seatbelt and pulls it over himself, fumbling for a moment before he finds the receptacle. Then the car is moving and Jimmy grabs the armrests, forcing himself stockstill.

“Um, babe? Are you up to talking about what happened?” It’s several long minutes of silence before the man says that, but Jimmy isn’t babe, he’s pet, or little bird, or darling, or bi—

“It’s okay if not. I already called your therapist to see if she’s available for an emergency session if you think you’re going to need one. No pressure, but just in case.”

Jimmy tugs a little at his cuffs, swallows. He’s fine. He’s going home, and he’s going to lay on Xornoth’s knee and let his master touch his hair, just like a good pet. Or if Xornoth’s in a bad mood, he’ll submit to his punishment. He’s a good pet.

Did he ruin whatever this mission was? Maybe he’s not a good pet.

He can��t be a good pet. There’s no way. He’d somehow ended up on the ground alone with a strange man—a guard—having to help him up. This isn’t good. He’s ruined everything. He’s ruined everything and Xornoth is going to get out the whip or the spiked boots or the cage, please not the cage, he’ll do anything—

The car slows and turns, bumping over a curb, before coming to a complete halt. There’s the sound of keys turning, then the driver’s door opening and shutting.

Jimmy unbuckles his seatbelt, trying to quell the shaking in his limbs. He doesn’t want this. He’s been bad. He deserves it.

The door opens and he clambers out, a little unbalanced from his bound hands. The man closes it behind him, takes Jimmy by the shoulder and guides him until the air changes and Jimmy knows they’re inside.

The guard leaves him standing by himself, but he doesn’t go far, calling out after a moment, “I turned off the lights, so you can take the jacket off your head.”

Jimmy obeys, winces when it’s still a bit brighter than before. The man is in front of him, smiling. He’s smiling.

Jimmy’s been very bad, then.

He lets his eyes fall to the floor. He doesn’t know what’s about to happen, but he knows it’s not going to be good. Often, Xornoth is too busy to deal with him right now, will throw him to the thugs before punishing him themself.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, I promise,” the man says, and Jimmy bites his lip to keep from vomiting. He doesn’t usually have enough food in his stomach for it to be a huge issue, but his stomach is rolling and he’d rather not take chances. “It happens. Are you feeling well enough to help me make dinner?”

Jimmy’s not sure what that’s code for, but he nods demurely, follows the man to what seems to be a normal kitchen. Where’s the catch?

Then he’s seated at a kitchen table and set in front of him is a cutting board with a couple of carrots on it, but more importantly—a large knife.

Oh no.

They make him participate, sometimes. They give him knives and jeer at him until he cuts himself, or a noose to choke himself on, or one of those batons to electrocute himself with. He hates it, hates that he has to harm himself, hates that he’s in control of what’s happening and that he can stop it at any time but chooses not to—but the quicker he does what they want, the quicker they toss it aside and hurt him themselves. He prefers that, prefers to not be in charge of his own torture.

But the knife gleams in front of him, unmoving and waiting. A glance up shows him that the man isn’t even watching, is just waiting for him to do it so they can get on with it.

Jimmy forces himself to pick up the knife, scrunches his eyes shut, and goes against every screaming instinct in his body. He brings it down in a slash on his upper arm.

His eyes shoot open as a whimper escapes him, and he sees blood quickly soaking his shirt and running down his arm—it hurts, it hurts and makes his head a little bit woozy but he has to continue, has to keep going. He draws in a breath that’s more like a sob, raises the knife—

“Jimmy!”

The knife is wrested from his hand and Jimmy lets out the breath, ready for them to hurt him, to hit him with the stun baton, to kick him and beat him until he can barely move so it can just be over with—

But the man is just standing there, holding the bloody knife, his face white. “I—what are you doing?!” he yells, and Jimmy can’t help but duck his head. He’s messed up, he wasn’t supposed to do that with the knife, he doesn’t know what he was supposed to do but it wasn’t that—

“Okay, okay, everything’s fine!” the man says, sounding panicked. “Right. I should—I should call for an ambulance, right? Wait—let me see it—”

The man pulls his arm forward and Jimmy can’t help but keen at the pain, but he allows it to happen, lets the man look at it.

“It doesn’t look too deep—but there’s so much blood—no, it’s okay, I’ve got first aid supplies in the closet, hold on—”

Then he’s gone, and Jimmy’s shaking.

This is too confusing. Usually they tell him what to do, or they do it to him, or they drag him straight to Xornoth. This isn’t normal. This isn’t any of the places they usually torture him. He’s never been in a kitchen in Xornoth’s manor, he doesn’t know what’s happening. . . .

The man is back, and he’s got a bundle of bandages and a first aid kit, and Jimmy’s still so confused. It’s just a cut. Usually they don’t bandage him up after each cut, they just wait until the end, until he’s limp on the floor and they need to drag him to his cell or to Xornoth. But this guard is pulling out cotton pads and a brown bottle and he’s pressing stuff to the cut and Jimmy can’t help but whine and pull away. He isn’t supposed to have help yet, he’s been bad, this is supposed to be a punishment.

The man freezes. “I know it stings,” he says slowly, carefully, “but you need this to be safe. I know you don’t like hospitals, so we’re going to try to deal with it here.”

The knife is on the table, the one he’d made Jimmy cut himself with, and Jimmy shudders and tears his eyes from it. The man presses the pad to Jimmy’s arm again and he jolts away, briefly meeting his eyes before looking down submissively.

“I’m sorry, baby, but I have to do this,” the man says, voice shaky, and before Jimmy can react his arm is being rubbed with the pad, quick and efficient and painful. Jimmy bites his tongue, does his best to stay still.

“Okay, it’s not deep. It shouldn’t scar, but Blossom knows more about that sort of thing, so I might call her and ask her to take a look, if that’s okay. I’m going to wrap it now, all right?”

Jimmy doesn’t respond. He doesn’t have to talk to the thugs. He only has to talk to Xornoth. He knows they’ll just make it worse for him if he doesn’t speak, but it’s so hard to make his mouth move.

The man wraps a bandage around Jimmy’s bicep, blood welling again in the cut that the man had just cleaned. Once he’s taped it off, he looks up at Jimmy, catching his eyes.

“Talk to me, please. What’s wrong?”

Jimmy can’t disobey a direct order like that. He doesn’t want to be hurt even worse. He whines a little, clears his throat. Barely audible, he breathes, “I’m sorry.”

The man sighs, rubs his forehead. “It’s okay. We’ll fix this together, yeah? Can you tell me . . . why you did this?”

Jimmy whines again. This is a lot of talking, especially for someone who isn’t Xornoth. Especially for an answer that the guard already knows.

He cut himself because he was just following orders.

“I’m a good pet,” he whimpers, and what little color the man’s face had regained vanishes.

“No—No, Jimmy, you’re not—”

He can’t help the tear that escapes. “I-I know, I know I was bad, I’m sorry, please don’t make me go in the cage, I’m a bad pet but please, anything. . . .”

There’s a crash and Jimmy jumps; the man has dropped the first aid kit. He pulls out another kitchen chair and collapses into it. “I—I don’t know what to do—what if—” he takes a deep breath, and when he looks up Jimmy sees that he’s crying.

“Jimmy,” he says, and Jimmy flinches at the deliberate use of his name. “You’re not there anymore. Do you know who I am?”

Jimmy shakes his head, not sure what’s happening here. Is this a trap? The man’s face falls further and Jimmy whimpers. He doesn’t want him to be angry when he hurts him, it’s always so much worse.

“My name is Scott. I’m your boyfriend.”

His—what? But—

“We’re in our home that we bought together,” the man—Scott?—continues. “We live together here. Do you know that?”

Again, Jimmy shakes his head. This is—he’s in Xornoth’s manor, he has to be. There’s no way to escape. He can’t get out. He’ll never get out.

The man—Scott pulls at his hair. “I don’t know—maybe I can call Nora again, she said she’d have time for an appointment in like—fifteen minutes, okay, I can call her then. . . .”

Jimmy looks down at his arm, where blood is beginning to seep through the bandage. He doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t care that Xornoth is so much worse, he just wants everything to make sense again. “Master. . . .” he whispers, and Scott’s head shoots up so suddenly Jimmy thinks for a wild moment that the man’s been slapped.

“No, I—I can’t let—Jimmy, Xornoth—Xornoth’s dead,” he says frantically, moving to reach out but aborting the movement. “They died, and you got out of there. We saved you.”

He’d had his suspicions, but now Jimmy is certain this is a lie. He’s trying to make him betray his master, trying to make him believe that this is all real so that they catch him saying something he shouldn’t and then he’ll be punished so much worse.

He ducks his head, grips his hair in his hands. He just wants to go back to his cell. It’s quiet there, he can sleep there.

“Can we move to the couch?” the man says, and Jimmy’s not sure what he’s looking for with that question but he doesn’t respond.

“I’m going to touch you, okay?” Again, Jimmy doesn’t respond, but he lets the man take him by his forearms and stand him up, then lead him to a different room, one with a fluffy rug and a couch that he can’t sit on. The rug luckily only takes up a portion of the room, flat carpet beyond it. The guard sits on the couch, releasing Jimmy, looking up at him expectantly, and Jimmy flounders for a moment before kneeling on the flat carpet. He bows his head, his hands at his side. He knows what’s expected.

There’s a choked-off cry from the couch, but Jimmy doesn’t dare look up. He twists his fingers into his shirt—why does he have a shirt on?—and breathes out slowly.

“Jimmy? Would you be okay . . . sitting on the couch?”

The couch isn’t for him. He can’t be on the couch. He takes in a slow, measured breath. The only furniture he has permission to be on are his bed and the exam table. It’s a trick, a nasty trick to get him to disobey so that there’s more of an excuse for punishment.

He stays where he is, silent and still. Maybe if he’s quiet enough, the man will forget he’s here.

“Right, I’ll take that as a no. Okay. Ten more minutes until I can call Nora. I—it’s never been this bad, I don’t—I don’t know what to do. . . .”

If Jimmy looks up, he can see the man sitting on the couch, head in his hands. He lowers his eyes again. He doesn’t want to aggravate him.

He’s so tired. The emotional upheaval of misbehaving and being brought to an unfamiliar place for his punishment, then having to instigate his own punishment and somehow messing that up bad enough that he’s just sitting here, not being hurt, waiting.

Waiting for Xornoth.

He’s messed up so badly that they’re skipping the middleman. He’s going to the cage, there’s no doubt about it.

Adrenaline shoots through his veins, but he tamps it down. He can’t cause an accident right now. He can’t be in even worse trouble. He’s already going to the cage.

A whimper escapes him and he clamps his mouth shut, eyes darting up—the guard heard, Scott’s shifting from the couch to the floor and Jimmy flinches back—

Scott pulls away, hands up. “Jimmy, you’re hurting. Is it your arm?”

His arm? Nothing’s wrong with his arm. Either of his arms. Nothing out of the usual. He’s still functional. Pain doesn’t make him dysfunctional.

“Are you—are you hurting in other places? Can you point to where it hurts?”

What, so he can kick those places? Jimmy doesn’t move. His hands aren’t cuffed—weren’t they just cuffed? Are they still? They aren’t—so he holds them out in front of him, wrists close together.

The guard doesn’t move to bind them, or move at all. “What are you doing?” he asks after several moments. “I—do you want me to hold your hands?”

He wants to go to his cell and hope that Xornoth forgets his disobedience. He wants less confusion. He wants his head to stop pounding, he realizes, as a headache bursts into the forefront of his mind.

“I don’t know what you want.”

Jimmy bites his lip to keep from making a noise. He’s going to make him ask to be cuffed. He’s going to make him act like he wants it.

He clears his throat, swallows. “Pl-please,” he croaks, “please handcuff me, sir.”

Silence. Jimmy chances a glance up, sees utter disgust painting the man’s face. He’s trying, he’s trying to be good, what is he doing wrong?

“I’m not going to handcuff you,” Scott says, and Jimmy’s breath seizes. Does he—is he expected to do it himself? He doesn’t know—

“Do you know why I’m not going to handcuff you?”

Jimmy bows his head again, waits. They always answer themselves.

“I’m not going to handcuff you because you don’t want it,” the guard says, and now Jimmy’s really confused. What kind of mind game is this? “I am your boyfriend, Scott, and I love you very much, and I will never handcuff you.”

This is too confusing. This is too much for his unrelenting headache. Jimmy lowers his hands, slow, unsure, but doesn’t move other than that. He swallows, feels his throat bob against his collar. At least that’s normal.

“Do you know where you are?”

Jimmy doesn’t, so he doesn’t answer. The man sighs. Jimmy bites back a noise of fear.

“Maybe she got out of an appointment early. Jimmy, look at me?”

Jimmy drags his eyes up to land on Scott—not quite his eyes, but he’s looking at him and listening, which is enough.

“I’m going to call your therapist, Nora,” he says slowly, carefully. “You’re having a bad flashback, and I don’t know how to help you. Is there anything you need right now to feel safe?”

He doesn’t need anything. He wants a lot of things, sure, but asking for them will only make things worse. He shakes his head in quick, jerking movements. He wants to throw up.

A long pause, then Scott says, almost doubtfully, “Okay. I’m going to call her now. I want you to know that I’m not gonna hurt you. I promise.” Another, pause, then: “Can you tell me what you’re thinking?”

Jimmy scrunches his eyes shut, forces himself to speak. The man is asking him a question, and not answering is just likely to make him more angry. “I-is my—is Master going to—to put me in the—cage?”

Scott sucks in a sharp breath, reaches out again but again pulls back. “Okay. Okay. You’re not here at all. Okay. I’m calling Nora. Just—don’t hurt yourself, okay?”

Of course he’s not going to hurt himself, he doesn’t want to. He’ll only do it under orders, if he knows everything will be so much worse if he doesn’t obey.

“Hello? Nora?”

Jimmy blinks at his knees, rubs his fingers together. He’s used to waiting. He does hours of it on the regular.

“I don’t know what to do. He’s—he’s never been this bad.”

He’s bad, he’s a bad pet, he’s been bad. He’s never been this bad. He’s going in the cage, and now he’s just waiting for Xornoth to come and get him.

“No, he—I don’t think he knows where he is. I don’t think he knows who I am. I—what? Oh, well I think he’s—like, I think what he sees is what’s real, because . . . well, he’s interacted with objects—and that’s another thing . . . okay, yeah—”

He’s not sure if he’s chained to this spot or not. He doesn’t feel anything on his ankle, and he doesn’t remember that happening. But it’s possible that the man had hooked his leash onto something.

“Jimmy? Can you tell me what you see?”

He’s not Jimmy. He’s not supposed to respond to that. They aren’t supposed to know his name. He’s just a bird to the guards, just a pet.

“Yeah, he’s not answering. . . . Um, definitely earlier. He had a panic attack in the grocery store, but I thought he was okay—like, he wasn’t talking, but I thought he was just worn out. But we got home, and we started on dinner, and he—”

There’s a noise that sounds something like a sob, but Jimmy doesn’t look up.

“Sorry. He, um . . . he cu-cut himself—sorry—just out of nowhere, it was—it was so—”

Scott takes a couple of deep breaths, measured and long. “Yeah, I do. I’m okay, I think, just really worried about him. . . . Um . . . maybe sleep? He’s never been this bad before—”

Jimmy whimpers, quiet, at the word again, but Scott notices and comes closer.

“Hey, ba—Jimmy, are you—um—did something I say scare you?”

He’s a bad pet, he screwed up in some way and he doesn’t even know what it was but the punishment is going to be severe. . . .

“No, he’s—right. Okay. No, he’s on the floor, like kneeling there—and he won’t move—yeah, like that. And I know—I know how to deal with that and how to help him, but he called himself a–a pet, he asked for them. He’s—he hasn’t been this far gone ever, not since the beginning, and even then I don’t think I ever saw him like this.”

His powers are still trying to cause an accident, he can feel it. He can feel the scar burn, but he swallows it back before it can send sparks down his arms. He’ll be in even worse trouble if he does that, and he’s already in trouble because he’s never been this bad, Scott said it himself—

“Okay. No, you’re right. Um . . . I think . . . oh, maybe I can just put some of my body wash on one of my jackets? So it’s a familiar object and a familiar smell? Okay, uh—Jimmy, I’ll be right back—”

Then he’s alone in the room, and it’s a moment to relax. He lets his shoulders fall, his jaw ease. There’s cameras, but they won’t pick up the minute slip of his stance. He hates it here. He can’t think it, he can’t let himself think that. He’s a good pet. No, he’s a bad pet. His head hurts.

There’s hurried footsteps and he snaps back to attention, only for something to be draped over him—a jacket? A jacket that smells strongly. Smells nice. Like home.

“Jimmy? Can you tell me where you are?”

Jimmy breathes in the scent of the jacket, tears brimming in his eyes. Home. It smells so much like home.

“Jimmy, look up at me.”

Jimmy jolts, looks up. The man is there, sitting on the floor across from him, one hand holding a phone to his ear, the other outstretched. “Tell me where you are,” he says firmly, and Jimmy looks around, clears his throat.

“I—I don’t know, I’m sorry,” he rasps. Just another thing to fail at. He bites the inside of his cheek. He’s fine. He’ll survive this. They’ll make sure he does.

“That’s okay. I—one second, Jimmy. . . . Yeah, maybe . . . usually he’s pretty tired after a flashback, d’you think sleep would help? Okay. Yeah, I’ll do that first.”

The guard looks back at Jimmy and Jimmy curls a little in on himself, grounding himself with the jacket.

“Jimmy, you’re not going to be punished,” he says, voice choked with tears. “Nobody is going to hurt you today. You—you’ve been good.”

Jimmy can’t help himself; he glances at the cut on his arm. If he’s been good, then why did Scott make him cut himself? Why is he waiting for Xornoth? Scott is lying, that’s all there is to it.

“I—I made a mistake, earlier. You’re not in trouble, that was my mistake. Your—” he cuts himself off, breathes. Jimmy looks down uncomfortably. He hates watching people cry. “You can rest, okay? I swear that no one will hurt you.”

It’s a lie, but his eyelids are so heavy. If what the man is saying is true, then he can go back to his cell. He’s going to go back to rest. That sounds incredible right now.

Scott’s waiting for him to respond, so he reaches up to grab his leash, hand it to Scott—it’s not there.

He can feel its weight, he can see—he can’t see it. He can feel it, though. He stares down at his hands, aching head trying to piece this together. Why can’t he see his leash? Why can’t he hold it? Is his collar—?

He bends his neck slightly, feels it press into the thick leather of his collar. That’s still there, then. His hands are hanging in the air, still feeling for something that by all rights should be there. He can’t help but whine, it’s all so overwhelming. . . .

“Oh, honey. . . .” the guard trails off, fiddling with his shirt. Jimmy swallows, bows his head again. He’s lost his leash. He doesn’t know how. It’s here but it isn’t. “Would you like to go to your room, lie in the bed instead of on this hard floor?”

That’s all he’s wanted this whole time. Jimmy nods quickly, keens in the back of his throat. The man’s face collapses, tears leaking from his eyes, but he takes Jimmy by the hands (Jimmy jerks at the touch, but allows it to happen) and lifts him to his feet. He must not feel like dragging Jimmy while his legs are working, even with the leash gone. Then they’re walking, down an unfamiliar hall and into a homey room with a large bed and the confusion just worsens. This isn’t his cell. He shakes his head rapidly, trying to shove away the ever-encroaching headache. He doesn’t recognize this at all.

Scott leads him to the bed even as his legs feel wooden and he stumbles over nothing. What—does Scott expect something from him? What’s going on?

The man presses him gently onto the bed, and Jimmy sits on the edge of it, every part of him screaming to get off, he’s not supposed to be on furniture, he’s supposed to be on the floor at Xornoth’s knee—

But Scott presses a little firmer on his chest until Jimmy lies down, heart pounding in his throat. He wraps the jacket around himself, suddenly concerned that it might be taken from him—it smells so safe, he needs it—

“Covers?”

Jimmy blinks blankly at Scott. What?

Scott’s face contorts in a weird way, and he pats Jimmy’s hand before drawing away. “I’m—I’m going out to the living room, okay? I’ll leave the door open, just shout if you need anything.”

Jimmy doesn’t respond, just stares at him. This isn’t right. This is so strange. The bed he’s in is well-cushioned, soft, and he can already feel himself sinking deeper into sleep. Maybe this is a new observation room. That place had a bed that he was allowed to lie in.

“Go to sleep, okay? You’ll feel better in the morning.”

And Jimmy is nothing if not obedient, so he closes his eyes and quickly slips away.

It’s dark when Jimmy wakes, and he inhales the scent of home and sighs contentedly. Then he closes his eyes again and lets sleep drag him back down.

When Jimmy wakes a second time, light is filtering in through the bedroom window. He yawns, looks over for—Scott’s not in bed. He must’ve been called out early.

Jimmy reaches out to his other side, gropes around for his phone on the bedside table. When he can’t find it, he turns, checks. Not there.

That’s . . . that’s strange, to say the least. Scott being gone happens on occasion, but Jimmy almost always plugs his phone in beside him before going to sleep. This is weird.

He stretches, gasps when his arm burns. What? Did he sleep weird on it? Actually—he slept weird on everything, it seems, because he looks down to see that he’s wearing jeans. In bed.

What?

This is concerning, at this point. He looks at his upper arm, right where it burns—there’s a bandage wrapped around it, dried blood staining it.

Was he in a fight?

Jimmy groans, sits up. One of Scott’s jackets slips off his shoulders, and he blinks at it in confusion before rolling out of bed. He’s a little dizzy, and—his stomach growls. That would explain it, then. He’s absolutely starving—and he’s putting some pieces together, sleeping in day clothes means he maybe fell asleep before eating dinner. . . .

He hisses on the first step, his bad leg throbbing dully. He really must’ve slept in a weird position. Maybe just sleeping in his jeans had done it, to be fair. He yawns again, runs his hand through his hair—he grimaces at how oily it feels, but he doesn’t have time for a shower yet. It’ll have to wait until he eats something.

He limps out of the room, scratching his face. Something about the house feels . . . off. The energy isn’t quite what he’d expected. He pauses by the hall closet, considers getting out his hip brace and cane. He ultimately decides not to—he’s about to shower, after all. He can just put it on when he gets out.

He continues down the hall, makes to turn right into the kitchen, but in the living room—

Scott’s lying on the couch, arm hanging off the edge, a blanket bunched around his feet. He’s asleep. Why on the couch? Is he sick? Did something happen the night before that Jimmy just can’t remember?

He creeps closer, sees that Scott’s face is drawn, eyelids heavy. He makes to kneel beside him but flinches as an unpleasant ache in his knees warns him of the potential emotional and physical consequences. Instead, he leans down, gently rests his hand on Scott’s forehead.

He’s not warm, actually cooler than he should be in the summer weather (he’s always been that way, though), but now that he’s this close, Jimmy can see dried teartracks on his cheeks.

Oh no.

Something bad must’ve happened, if Scott had cried himself to sleep on the couch. Cautiously, carefully, Jimmy reaches out, shakes Scott’s shoulder.

“Scott?” he says quietly, preparing himself to leap back if he wakes up swinging. “Petal? Can you wake up for me?”

Scott sighs, face scrunching up. “Jimmy?” he croaks, one hand coming up to drag across his face. Jimmy can’t help but smile.

“Yes, love. Are you sleepy?”

Scott fully sits up, reaches out to grip Jimmy’s hands. “Jimmy,” he gasps, and Jimmy can’t help but flinch back. Scott releases him instantly, eyes going shiny.

“Jimmy,” Scott repeats, and Jimmy glances around. Did he do something? “Can—can you tell me where you are?”

“Um, our house? In the living room?”

Scott doesn’t move, face solemn as ever. “Do you know who I am?”

This is weird. Jimmy doesn’t like this at all. “You’re Scott, my boyfriend,” he says, as upbeat as possible, despite the frown fighting to be on his face. “I don’t understand. Scott, did—did something happen? Was there a fight?”

Scott leans back, relief flooding his features. “Jimmy, what—” he cuts himself off, rubs his eyes— “what do you remember about yesterday?”

About. . . ?

Oh.

Oh no.

He remembers, now that Scott’s brought it up. He remembers the fear, the confusion, the unfamiliar face of his lover as he shook with fright. He remembers kneeling and cowering and waiting for punishment.

And Scott saw him like that.

Jimmy groans, flops down on the couch beside Scott. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles, covering his face.

“No—Jimmy, what on earth are you apologizing for?”

He groans again. “That you had to see me like that.”

“I—Jimmy, look at me.”

Jimmy waits a few seconds, just to prove to himself that he can. He doesn’t have to follow orders. He doesn’t have to. Then he lowers his hands, meets Scott’s eyes.

Scott’s voice is serious when he speaks. “I love you, Jimmy. I love all of you. I’m not gonna lie, yesterday was . . . emotionally distressing.” He laughs a little. Jimmy doesn’t. “But I’m so very proud of you, and I will never be upset with you or your brain for reverting to a past way of survival when triggered.”

It sounds rehearsed, and Jimmy can’t help but snort. “You called Nora yesterday, right? She tell you to say that?”

Scott's huff and eyeroll says all. Jimmy giggles, leans into Scott. Scott wraps him in a hug, pauses before squeezing him tight.

Tears are building in Jimmy’s eyes, and he blinks them back. “I’m still sorry,” he mutters into Scott’s shoulder. “I—geez, Scott, you had to watch me try to punish myself! I thought—”

He ducks his head, too ashamed to continue. Scott nudges him a little.

“Will it help to tell me?”

He sighs. “I thought,” he says, voice shaking, “that—or, my messed-up brain convinced me that you were a guard, that you were going to hurt me while waiting for X—for Xornoth to come get me and put me in—in the cage.”

“Oh, honey. . . .”

“And I hate him,” Jimmy continues, undeterred by Scott trying to hug him closer. “That—the me who thinks he’s a pet. He’s so pitiful—just—just whining and so scared all the time, and I hate feeling like that!”

The tears finally spill and he cuts himself off, sobs into Scott’s sleeve. “I-I-I thought, I thought that you were—were making me p-punish myself! I was so—so scared, Scott, scared of you, scared of Xornoth, when that bastard’s been dead for longer than they had me! I hate—I-I didn’t want it!” he pauses for a breath, a sob, an animalistic noise of pain. “I didn’t want to—to have a fla-ashback, I didn’t—I didn’t want to sca-are you, I didn’t want to be a pet!”

“I know, I know,” Scot murmurs, rubbing his arm. “It’s not fair. None of that should’ve ever happened to you.” His hand shifts, rubbing up and down Jimmy’s back, and it’s too much—too much like them—

Jimmy shoves himself off Scott, pushing his arm away. “Re-red,” he chokes out, phantom touches running through his hair. Scott moves away instantly, his hands up.

“Thank you for telling me,” Scott says. “Is there anything you need right now?”

Jimmy takes stock of himself; runs through a breathing exercise. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. Again. Again. He runs through it about ten times before he feels fully present again, no foreign touches making him shudder. Then he slumps back onto the couch, utterly exhausted.

“I just woke up, like, twenty minutes ago,” he rasps, running his sleeve under his nose. “I wanna cancel today. Can we cancel today?”

Scott chuckles lightly, stretches. “Yeah, I get what you mean,” he says, and Jimmy realizes that he’s crying too. “Good job thinking of the breathing exercises, I’m such an idiot—I didn’t even think to do anything for grounding yesterday. . . .”

“‘S all right, you were panicking,” Jimmy waves him off. “And you got me your jacket, right? Or did I imagine that?”

“I did, yeah, but only after Nora suggested it.”

“It still helped,” says Jimmy. He can remember smelling it, how safe the scent of Scott’s body wash had seemed, even in his amnesiac state. “It was probably the only thing keeping me from having a full-on freakout right then and there, to be honest.”

“That’s good,” Scott sighs, also falling back. After a moment, he speaks. “So don’t think we’re skipping over all those things you just said about hating yourself for your defense mechanisms, because I really didn’t like the sound of that. But I think we need a day off today, yeah?”

Jimmy nods furiously. He needs nothing more.

“Great. I’m going to go throw something together for breakfast, then we can just watch TV all day or sleep or whatever. Do you wanna stay here or go shower or what?”

Jimmy grimaces; his hair still feels oily against his forehead. “Shower. Then cuddles on the couch?”

They both stay there for a few moments longer, then Scott gets up and stretches and heads to the kitchen, inspiring Jimmy to get up and go into the bathroom.

When he gets out, skin red and hair wet, Scott’s set out english muffins with various sandwich toppings. Jimmy gives him a long kiss, puts together a sandwich of fried egg with jam, pointedly ignoring Scott’s barf noises.

And when they hold each other close on the couch, Scott wrapped up in Jimmy’s arms, the TV playing some trashy romance film, Jimmy thinks that maybe they’ll be okay.

#empires smp #esmp #empires smp fanfic #flower husbands #jimmy solidarity #scott smajor #empires superpowers au #esh au #mas writes #this was one of those where i sat down and wrote feverishly for like two hours straight #and when i came to i had an angsty mess before me #by which i mean: i wish i could say this was hard to write #the angst is what flows the best my dude #i put most of the fic under the cut just bc it's kinda distressing from the get-go #i dont have much to say tbh #im still thinking about scar's insurance tweets of today #im so indescribably angry about it #but anyways lmk what you think #love you guys

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nerosdayinanime · 1 year

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couldnt draw vampire!sabito but i sure as hell can make him the crustiest motherfucker you ever seen

(click for better quality)

halloween au started last year in an attempt to make a sanegiyu fic for halloween and i frakenstein’d sanemi & genya with an ookami- then that labyrinth doodle a while ago & now i got this whole shit with sabito being as close as a human can get to being a wild animal-

yadda yadda all the surviving victims get sedated & taken out the labyrinth to be transported to get medical care or started on rehabilitation- sabito wakes up with a massive pain flare-up from his kitsune arm and they rush in to help-

rule of thumb, Dont Fucking Startle the guy whos first instinct is Kill It.

#sabito #kny sabito #neros art tag #fratboy sabito posting #halloween au #giyuu fighting for his life #me fighting for my life trying to get myself to draw this shit #have to climb a 10ft wall to start drawing like what the fuck is wrong w me lately #anyway i like this au very much #very angsty #kidnapped at 11 & spent the next just over half his life surrounded by dirt stone and blood #havent even touched anything about the whole 'no food but the moss on the walls' bit- he has /absolutely/ survived off cannibalism #fUCK WAIT I FOROGT HIS SCARS ON THE SECOND PICTURE IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF #[punches wall]#fuckin add it tomorrow #second? third picture. the one under the cut whatever #tw blood #tw body horror ment #tw cannibalism ment #i thought the vigi au would be the most fucked up au but ive outdone myself #what the fuck do i have against sabito damn...#putting him through the fucking wringer

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hayaku14 · 2 years

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hiii!! i think youve mentioned that you're not the biggest fan of receiving asks because they can be hard to respond to and i hope im not being a bother!! but id like to drop some kaishin brainrot here in ur inbox if thats alright! if not totally feel free to ignore this lol

a thought for the scrunklies... i cant stop thinking about shinichi getting affected by cases and their outcomes so i will apply this thought to kaishin: a victim who resembles kuroba in some away leaves a hard strain on shinichis heart.

kuroba doesnt know about this case, but he does pick up on the subtleties on how shinichi is way closer in proximity than usual. more cuddly, more clingy. perhaps after we could have some heist angst idk... but the thought of whatever causes the reaction isnt important. what's important is: shinichi's lips start to quiver and its unavoidable, he starts to sob in front of kuroba. heavy breathing and blotchy tears, hes clinging to kuroba with such a strong grip that it starts to physically hurt. one thing leads to another and shinichi ends up in his lap, clinging to him and quietly crying into his neck while kaito rubs his back, murming; "i love you, great detective," or "i know, i know. s'okay now..." kuroba never sees him cry so he eventually starts to silently cry too. they just end up sobbing into one another.

i need someone to envision this w me and youre the kaishin brainrot god soooo <3

WHAT?!?!? WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!!?!?!??!? Was it me? LOL.

Noooo, I LOVE asks!! Send them any time! It's not that it's hard to respond, it's just that I'm often late at replying lol so I feel bad about it but if you don't mind waiting for me to reply then ask away!!! (Speaking of, this is also kinda late I'm sorry lol ;-;)

I WILL NEVER IGNORE KAISHIN BRAINROT

AND OH MY GOD YOU SENT ME ANGSTY KAISHIN BRAINROT???? I FUCKING LOVE YOU ANON

I absolutely LOVE the idea of a case hitting a little too close to home for Shinichi. It's not just for Kaito too. There's a child kidnapping? He hangs out with the detective boys. There's a serial rapist going around that targets young women? He constantly checks up on Ran and Sonoko.

For Shinichi to break down like that though, he must've been building it up for quite a while. I can only imagine that it's an ongoing case with several victims already. All probably similar to Kaito.

Megure wants to take him off the case because he knows Kaito is his boyfriend but there's no way Shinichi is gonna stop trying to catch a criminal who's targeting people with the same profile as Kaito.

Kaito must've seen Shinichi deteriorate too. Long cases always take a toll on Shinichi but Kaito can see that this one is different. For one, Shinichi seems determined not to tell him details other than asking him to be more careful and to just take a cab if he's going home late (Kaito would’ve been insulted for the lack of faith if not for how worried and distraught Shinichi looked). There's also the increase of coffee intake, the sleepless nights. The nightmares. (Also the increase in skinship and clinginess like you said!! the image of clingy, worried, and upset shinichi is too cute i want it so much lol).

He’s clingy and attached to Kaito by the hip whenever he’s around but for some reason Shinichi can’t look at him in the eye for too long. How could he when every time he see Kaito he remembers the bloodied remains of several victims that looks like him? How could he when he isn’t even close to catching the murderer that threatens his whole world? How could he when every time he looks at Kaito’s eyes, so full of love and life, he can almost see them staring at him: unseeing, dull, and lifeless.

Shinichi is frustrated because cases that he’s involve in don’t usually last this long and for some reason it had to be a case where there’s an actual threat to the love of his life. He’s tired, upset, frustrated, and little desperate to catch this guy already cause he’s about to go out of his mind with worry.

It’s not that he doesn’t trust Kaito to take care of himself. He does. It’s what he loves about their relationship. It’s what helps him sleep at night. But being bombarded by images of lifeless bodies that resemble Kaito while helpless to actually do something about it is haunting Shinichi. He trusts Kaito, he does. But he also needs control. He has to find this guy and make sure no more harm will come to anyone else. Especially Kaito.

Maybe what triggers Shinichi's breakdown is Kaito finally confronting him about it. There’s no way Kuroba Kaito of all people would see this happening and not do an investigation of his own. Extracting information is as easy as breathing to him after all. He asks Shinichi’s friends. He digs around Division 1. He knows now why Shinichi is acting like this. But a part of him wants Shinichi to tell him himself.

Still, Kaito would've brought it up sooner but this case was different that he was sure Shinichi would've deflected rather than communicated properly if he pushed. Kaito sees that it's gone too far though and decides to confront him.

“Shinichi, you need to talk to me.”

“Talk about what?”

“I know about the case.”

Shinichi’s eyes widen for a second and looks away. Kaito reaches for Shinichi’s hands and squeezes.

“Shinichi, look at me.”

“Please?”

Shinichi turns to look. He’s unsure and unsteady but Kaito’s gaze holds him firmly in place. Kaito lets go of his hands to hold both of his cheeks in a gentle caress. For the first time in weeks, Shinichi lets himself sink deep into Kaito’s gaze.

“Hey,” Kaito says softly as if trying not to spook him, “I’m here. I’m safe. I promise I’ll be safe. So please? Talk to me, Shinichi.”

Like cracks on a dam, Shinichi’s eyes water. His are brows furrows deeply and his jaw shut tight in stubbornness but he holds Kaito’s gaze, not yet ready to turn away after weeks of depriving himself of deep vibrant blue. He tries to will the tears threatening to fall away but Kaito’s gaze is so warm and safe and so so alive that he couldn’t stop even if he tried.

“Oh Shinichi.”

Kaito’s voice is soft and gentle but it pulls something deep in Shinichi. It’s too much. Shinichi’s lips quiver, closes his eyes, and finally lets his tears flow.

And then after that is what you wrote!!! The part where Kaito wraps Shinichi in his arms and Shinichi starts sobbing and clinging onto him like a lifeline. Kaito whispering sweet nothings and reassurances that makes Shinichi hold onto him tighter. And when Shinichi chokes back his tears to whisper back, “I just...I can’t lose you, Kaito. I-I can’t,” Kaito finds himself fighting back his own tears.

AAAAHHHHH ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR THIS GOOD FUCKING FOOD <3333333

#kaishin #kudou shinichi #kuroba kaito #dcmk #detective conan #dc prattles #replies #THE WAY I MADE MYSELF ACTUALLY CRY OVER THIS LMAO #are u happy now anon #loljk i love you anon thank you sm for the kaishin brainrot i love it sm ;-;#ngl this kinda sappy but i also like it that way so lol #but dw i put the rly sappy sht under the cut LOL #i was listening to some fruits basket ost while writing this #mainly the ost mama said and momiji's violin piece #oh but mama said rly is one of my fave furuba osts #that sht makes me cry every time ;-;#anyways circling back to angsty kaishin brainrot #i just cant get enough of worried kaishins heehhehehehehehhe #as the saying goes #'it's not kaishin if theyre not injured and worrying over each other'#lol okay fine i just made that up but thats like my kaishin tagline LOL #in this case no injury yet but theres a very real threat looming and that's just as f ckng good!!!!!!#anyways send me more kaishin brainrot!! asks or dms i dont mind!!!!!!!#i just reply late sometimes!!!! lol #btw anon i didnt know how to factor in the heist so i just kept it vague LMAO SORRY #WAIT ANON I JUST REALIZED U CALLED ME KAISHIN BRAINROT GOD #this is the highest praise ive ever got i will add this on my resume THANK YOU

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spitzyyyy · 2 years

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some old stuffs that i figured i might as well share since i went back and reread it. not posting the entire fic, as it makes little to no sense and is unfinished, so here! take it!

also content warnings: character death, implied blood and gore, uh. basalt ends up talking about some of their horrific deaths to cope with the fact that gabbro dies during this loop. the context is also under there.

Wrote these three snippets a LONG time ago, as part of a full 5k thing that makes very little sense on its own. (Was a part of The Hourglass Tips, which I have lost a lot of motivation for (also also my writing style has changed a LOT since chapter 4))

The full context for this moment is because of a previous part, in which the hatchling tries to take Chert to the Sunless City to attempt to distract them, but it goes wrong and the two end up trapped inside of a housing unit and can't get out as the sand is rising. They then go to see Gabbro next loop, since they've been thoroughly traumatized, only to find them dead.

#spit speaks #spit art #outer wilds #outer wilds spoilers #outer wilds gabbro #outer wilds protagonist #character death #character gore and stuff #under the cut #hatchling ends up reminiscing about all the times they've died horrifically #the goal of this fic was to be super angsty #hence all the introspection and stuff #and the. general atmosphere of it #highkey forgot about this doc until i looked at my 'gabbro didnt have feather falling' fic and went “OH IVE DONE THAT BEFORE!”

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bledf1rst · 2 years

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MARC SPECTOR open starter [...]

marc was having a shitty-ass day.

it started with a fitful sleep of nightmares, waking him up at the brisk hour of 4:03 am in sweat-drenched sheets, gaze darting around the room like the shadows were conspiring to lunge at him and grapple for his throat. the images of his mother's face that had plagued him in his dreams still lingered on the backs of his eyelids; the way she spoke, cheerful and bright. and the way that it cringed in disgust in his presence. the anger. the disappointment. she had worn it so often that the memory of her smile faded with every passing day.

and ... the coffee maker broke. the icing on the cake, in all honesty. but at least steven didn't have work that morning, or else marc would be getting himself an earful.

watching the coffee maker gurgle and die, marc dragged a hand down his face and reluctantly got dressed to hunt down another source of caffeine, scared off from even attempting to reclaim sleep. he remembered a cafe a few blocks from the apartment and decided to give it a shot. prediactably, it was shit.

marc redirected his energy to later that night, donning the moon knight armor and going out on patrol. he'd met up with someone but he couldn't remember who, not when he was staring at the pool of blood in his palm, memories rushing in with dizzying quickness. marc had been complacent, back turned on the robber he'd just subdued. he was making conversation with whomever he partnered up with and then-

clang.

marc could feel the beginnings of a panic attack leaking in, pressing down on his lungs. suddenly he was a child again, belt striking down on the bare flesh of his arms when he raised them over his head. the buckle clipped his face, hard, and a spray of blood hit the carpet. current marc was bleeding from where a pipe had struck him across the brow, his reflexive punch knocking out the asshole for good before he collapsed on his hands and knees, joints buckling.

breathe. breathe.

but marc couldn't breathe. couldn't even think.

just a single string of thought playing like a mantra in his head- helpmehelp me help me help me PLEASE helpme-

seamlessly, steven's consciousness slotted into place. he was blinking at the ground all the sudden, at the droplets of red that were spattered across it, and sitting up. there was dizzy spots in his eyes that cleared up when he blinked. the armor had melted away into a three-piece suit, his mask was absent from his face, dark curls matted to his forehead where it bled.

he realized slowly what had happened, why he had been yanked from his deep sleep. and marc wasn't alone either, much to steven's chagrin.

... because it'd be quite difficult to explain himself out of this one. marc's irregular heartbeat still thudded thunderously in his ears, calming down in increments the longer steven was fronting. he'd just changed suits under broad moonlight and realized with growing dread how outright idiotic he'd look trying to imitate marc's american accent. he was going to have a hell of a time talking himself out of this one. but he had other matters to attend to, first.

steven cleared his throat and smiled sheepishly, turning to face his comate and ignoring the growing headache that had started in his skull, " ... sorry, do you happen to know exactly where we are? "

#» ... STEVEN GRANT ( ᵍᶤᶠᵗ ˢʰᵒᵖᵖᶤˢᵗ ) / in character.#» ... MARC SPECTOR ( ˡᵘᶰᵃʳ ʷᵃʳʳᶤᵒʳ ) / in character.#brief description of child abuse under the cut!#child abuse tw #violence tw #blood tw #child neglect tw #panic attack tw #i was feeling VERY angsty #starter. open

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therealbluespirit · 2 years

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Zuko finally redresses his burn

In honour of whumptober 2022 prompt No. 11: Self-Done First Aid | Sloppy Bandages

From The Potential of Letting Go, Chapter 13

[CW: Graphic Description of Injury, Mention of blood]

Zuko finished his jook in a daze, barely appreciating how it warmed his throat and settled his growling stomach.

He wasn’t going to be discovered by the crew. He wouldn’t let them. He was going to play this smart and bide his time until the ship reached the next port – wherever it was – and then get off. No one would be any the wiser and he would be fine. He would be fine...

You’ve never been very good at lying, you know.

He growled and plonked his bowl down next to him. It didn’t help that the voice in his head sounded unerringly like Azula’s.

Assuming his meditation stance, he prepared for the final task in his very, very long day. Hard to believe he’d woken up to stake out the health centre and was now drifting in the ocean, miles away from his homeland.

His breaths gradually became deeper and the intervals between them grew longer. The pain in his ribs went unheeded in the face of the greater pain yet unborn. All that fuss over getting stronger medication had only served to delay the inevitable; he’d have been better off if he’d just redressed his burn back then without it.

When he thought he was ready, he reached for the first aid box again and opened it.

Slowly, methodically, he arranged his torch face-down upon some life-jackets, so that its light was just right. In movements just as measured, he moved the open box into position, so that the mirror on the lid’s interior was directly in his line of sight.

His grubby, one-eyed reflection stared back at him.

The only thing stalling him now was dread and, underneath that, no small amount of fear. Fear for the pain he was about to inflict on himself, but mostly for what he was about to see for the first time… But this had to happen. Getting an infection now was just not an option. After everything he’d been through, that was no way to die. He owed himself better.

In a trance-like state now, he finally reached for the scissors and brought it up to snip the plaster behind his ear.

First came the floaty sensation, as the weight of the bandages around his head was lifted, layer by layer. He watched the once-white material uncoiling into his lap. His balance had improved after each time Onoke had exposed his left ear to the air– once while he’d been unconscious and again the evening before he’d left her place.

As it had then, the blocked sensation was receding now. Only this time he didn’t feel relief. His arms and side ached at the continued upward stretch but he focused on pushing breath in and out of his lungs as steadily as he could. When he reached the last layer of gauze, his exhales were whistling out of him as they whooshed past his gritted teeth.

This was the worst part. The last layer. Especially around the edges of the burn…

He had to pause. To steady his breathing in a futile effort to steady his hands –which by now were shaking uncontrollably. He was risking ripping too much skin off by accident. As he fought for control, Onoke’s calm, gruff voice came back to him.

Moisture will help.

Letting go of the bandage briefly, he opened a bottle of saline and soaked a pad of cotton. Breathing deeply and focusing on the answering pain in his ribs, he pressed it into the final layer of gauze over his face. He shuddered at the raw sensation but kept going until it was soaked through.

Then he tugged, gently.

Agonisingly slow, he felt the bandage give. Biting his lip until he tasted blood, he pulled it off the rest of the way.

He gasped in a breath, and then another. Balling up the damp, darkened fabric without examining it too closely. Fighting that awful, reminiscent pain. He breathed in again, deeper still, steeling himself once more. Mustering up the courage to face that mirror–

Dark red.

Raw. Receding to a dull pink around the edges.

Onoke had warned him that it would take time to heal. That it was a bad wound. A first degree burn on the periphery, a second degree around his eye area.

Nothing could have prepared him for seeing it himself.

He looked down at his lap again, keeping down the jook with mighty effort. How could he even do this? This was by far the worst possible part of his punishment thus far – even including getting beaten up in the streets: not having the luxury of forgetting. Of forgetting that he had a father who didn’t find his son worthy of mercy or patience or kindness. The scar of this wound would be a talisman he would bear until the day he died.

His breath hitched–

Stop it!

Block it out. Clear your mind. Become a tranquil pool.

Just this once…

With mechanical movements, he opened a bottle of saline and began to wash his left eye, coaxing it open. He refused the pain that arose. He refused to recognize the ruined features beneath the wound that needed treating. He refused to give in to the flashbacks hovering just beyond, on the other side of his hastily constructed mental wall, pressing up against it with awful determination. He refused. The damp cotton and crimson skin was all that mattered.

The antibiotic cream went on the same way. With great precision and absolute control. Anything less would have broken him. He’d barely recognized those eyes that were supposed to be his.

Moisture leaked out of them and dripped off his chin. He couldn't comprehend why.

The moment he laid the first layer of gauze– the moment he had covered the burn again and didn’t have to see it anymore– that was when his defences began to crumble.

His hands shook throughout the whole process of wrapping his head in a new bandage, and it took him three tries to plaster down the ends. Whether he had done a good job of it or not remained to be seen.

But after what seemed like hours, it was done.

It was over. He’d done it. He’d faced it and the worst was over. The first time is always the worst. He knew that. After this, it wouldn’t be so difficult, right?

Breathing hard, he lay down on the smooth, cold floor, closed his eye, and tried his best not to fall apart.

#yikes #in honour of whumptober 2022 because i wrote this a couple weeks before the prompts were officially out #so it doesn't count #but if it did you'd have got this under no. 11 #atla fandom #ao3 fic #tplg #fave snippet #zuko dresses his burn by himself and it is very angsty #whumpy?#tw injury #tw blood #graphic depiction of violence #self done first aid #sloppy bandages #sorry about the length! i did this on my phone and couldn't add the keep reading cut off mark

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shieldsurf · 10 months

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something i often want to talk about a lot is the unique way in which i was othered as a trans teen by other trans teens in high school. i was kind of treated like shit and it was often very clearly expressed that there was an in-group that i was not and could not be part of, for reasons i don't know or understand... was is because my hormones were so fucked that, completely out of my control, my body was twisted into a caricature of femininity considered almost grotesque even by cisgender standards? was it because i wasn't able to socially or medically transition to the same extent as my peers by virtue of being a minor with unsupportive parents? was it because i was fat and some flavor of neurodivergent that made me an intense and awkward teenager?

i don't know. but it fucked me up. honestly more than my transphobic parents did. i mean, at least my parents were just on their face shitty to me. i didn't expect acceptance from them. but the other trans people in my life? i thought the trans community was supposed to provide support for each other, but they didn't want me either. it was a pretty huge blow to my self esteem and it's definitely affected my modern relationship with the lgbt community, particularly other trans men. i'm constantly torn between wanting to fully embrace my trans identity and community and become a fun freaky queer, and straying away from it and trying to be "normal" because as a teen i was repeatedly rejected and turned away by other trans people. i still struggle to trust and genuinely befriend other trans men because they were largely the source of my inter-community alienation back then.

i know one of them, by the time he was about to graduate, realized he was pretty awful to me and confided in my twin sister that he felt bad. she told me that apparently he was aware that the way he treated me was wrong, and he'd said a lot of stuff behind my back that he regretted, stuff about me being a trender or a fetishist or whatever. i'd been out longer than him, longer than almost all of my classmates, and i'd never faltered in my identity or how i presented, but i guess that didn't matter. regardless, he never mustered up the courage to apologize to me directly. and my reputation with other trans students never recovered.

i don't know how i really feel about all of this anymore. it was both so long ago and not very long at all. mostly it just makes me wish i didn't come out until i was an adult. at least then i wouldn't have weird complexes today about trans men and how i'll never fit in to what they want and expect from me. oh well

#hehe diary post #transphobia #i guess???#me being angsty about being an angsty teen under the cut. be warned

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prkhaven · 1 month

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TEACHER’S PET -p.sh-

▐ pairing: professor!sunghoon x star uni. student fem!reader

▐ genre: smut minor do not interact, professor x student, age gap(sunghoon is in mid/late 20s while reader is in early 20s), angsty, fluffy, p with plot, p with feelings, forbidden love

▐ wc: 17.8k

-all warnings below cut-

▐ warnings: sunghoon gets kind of mean, jealously, so much feelings, profanity, a little misunderstanding, lots of kissing

▐ smut warnings: unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), multiple sex scenes, praising, degradation, dirty talk, p in v, fingering, throat fucking, overstimulation, dom!sunghoon(but they're both freaks), usage of nicknames(baby, good girl, sir, slut, etc.), headlocks, begging, some cum eating, creampies, breeding kink, dacryphilia, cock warming, oral (m+f rec. and giving)

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You’re the perfect student in your university. Acing all of your courses with ease, even the hardest course known on campus taught by the strictest teacher, Mr. Park.

Everyone saw and knew you worked hard in order to achieve everything you’ve accomplished, seeing your dedication and sleepless nights in order to complete an assignment perfectly.

Everyone wished to be just like you one day as you set the curve.

Whether you decide to admit it or not, you’re utterly admired by students, staff, faculty members, and teachers.

Each time your name came across papers, it was given extra attention to detail and care to just see how marvelous you worked on it.

But there was one teacher who absolutely adored you the most. Admiring the way you attentively took notes during lectures, how you furrow your eyebrows and pout your lips as you studied, or when you would lightly chew on your pen when going over questions, to simply the way you would come to him to ask questions without a worry while others were scared to even approach him.

Mr. Park adored you as a hard working student.

He also adored the side of you that wasn’t seen as professional. The way your legs would unconsciously squish together when trying to understand something or how you squirmed under his gaze when it was just you and him but then secretly taking glances to him when you thought he wasn’t looking.

But he deeply cherished the side of you that would get him fired. The way you would drop to your knees in front of him to prove that you deserved the extra point you were missing to achieve the hundred percent you desperately wanted.

And he could forever relish in the way you usher kisses from him as you studied in his office while he graded papers or the way he folds your body over his desk as he pounds into you mercifully for getting the highest mark once again.

Oh Mr. Park loved his favorite student.

——

Sunghoon’s course was a two semester course for the minimum amount of material that was crammed in there. It was known to be the hardest course to pass which meant there were very few students who decided to take the challenge(you being one of them).

But there was no other teacher that understood the material like him, he was the top professor and you were the top student.

How you and Sunghoon began the forbidden fiasco was spontaneous but not unexpected. There was obvious tension already building in-between as he would catch you looking at him with a certain glint in your eyes before shyly looking away to focus back on the lecture.

However, his favorite was whenever he’s grading papers already feeling exhausted from giving such low marks and not enough high marks but his exhaustion would instantly fade away when he’d get to yours.

He always straightens up his posture to take a moment to properly appreciate how perfect your paper is. How you not only explained every point needed to receive full credit but even added some of your own input.

But what he loved more were the little doodles you would leave scatter on your paper to indicate your boredom after finishing.

His pen would softly trace the designs with a fond smile, a thought lingering to indulge himself in the opportunity presented to him. So he would write a simple comment alongside the doodle that caught his eyes the most.

And this time around it was a simple doodle of a house sitting on a hillside with a sunset far in the distant and flowers littering the landscape.

When you received your paper back, you’d smile at the big hundred percent in bright red ink in the corner of your paper but soon caught glimpse of your professor’s comment along your doodle.

Your smile would only get bigger seeing ‘got bored?’ next to the house doodle before glancing up to your professor who gave the faintest smile ever towards you before dropping it and continued to pass out the rest of the student’s papers.

The next time you had a paper due, you made sure to complete it with ease before writing back a response to his previous comment, hoping he would respond to it.

And once again as Sunghoon was up late at night grading papers, energy already drained, he finally made it to yours and his energy skyrocketed.

As he was grading your paper, he caught the doodle you did of yourself and a surprising response to his previous comment.

‘Yeah I am. Next time you should make these just a little harder Mr. Park’

He smirked to himself with a chuckle before nodding his head in amusement. You didn’t received an hundred percent this time around, but still received the highest mark out of everyone taking his course.

But he saw this an opportunity to tease you just a little bit.

‘Next time you should make sure to get an hundred then maybe I’ll consider it’

——

You made an appointment with Sunghoon during the scheduled hours to discuss the possibility of him writing a letter of recommendation for an internship you’re hoping to get into during winter break.

As you stood in front of his door, you didn’t hesitate to knock on his office door softly and you heard him mutter ‘come in’ loud enough for you to hear and when you walked in he gave you a welcoming smile.

He’s been anticipating you ever since he saw your name pop up in the long list of appointments but he wondered what you needed from him. “Good evening”

You returned his kind smile with your own, “Good evening Mr. Park”

He motioned to the chair in front of his desk which you easily took, “What can I do for you?”

“I won’t take too much of your time, I know you’re a busy professor” Sunghoon lightly chuckled in his head at your statement, he could never be too busy for you.

“I was wondering if you could possibly write me a letter of recommendation? There’s an internship I really would enjoy to attend but it requires one from a professor” You explained and you noticed how you had his full undivided attention

He nodded at every word you said before lightly clasping his hands together. “I have no issues doing so, email the information of your internship” Your smile spread across your face hearing his easy acceptance to your request but he was curious about one thing. “If I may ask, why choose to ask me for this?”

“I’m sure you’re well aware I’m not exactly the most easy going professor. And you and I both know many other professors would’ve adored to take this opportunity if you asked”

“Well that’s exactly the reason Mr. Park. You’re not easy going. If I asked another professor of mine to write one I’m sure they will gush on and on about my achievements and how wonderful of a student I am but not of me as a person and my dedication” You explained and Sunghoon felt a sense of pride in his chest but he tried push that feeling down

He shouldn’t be feeling this, you were only coming to him for a letter of recommendation. Nothing more and nothing less of that.

He gave a curt nod to your explanation before you thanked him profusely which he kindly waved off.

“I hope you’re able to have a wonderful winter break Mr. Park!” Your bright smile made his heart churn in itself but he tried so hard to shake it off

“You as well. I hope you’re able to attend your internship”

“Oh I’ll definitely get in if I have you writing my letter of recommendation” Your words weighed heavy on his shoulders and heart

——

It was deep into winter break and Sunghoon was roaming through the streets on Christmas eve alone. He saw how couples were smiling as they held hands, walking by simply happy to spend the holidays together.

Now he never cared for having a relationship, having his priorities lie within his work. But there were times, times like this, that made he wonder what his life would be like if he had someone.

But he wasn’t going to dwell on something that wasn’t real. He was going about his business to head back home when he suddenly heard a familiar voice he didn’t expect to hear on Christmas eve.

He turned and saw your bundled up self making your way towards him, you looked so cute under the faint store and street lights. He shook his head from that thought and gave a confused expression to which you giggled at.

You noticed how different he looked from how you usually see him during class. Instead of his usual business attire with his rimless clear glasses, his attire now fitted to the cold weather to keep him warm, his hair out of its usual style, and his glasses long discarded.

Your heart fluttered in your chest seeing how he looked under the skylit night. There was never any denying that he was a very attractive person.

“Good evening Mr. Park” You greeted when you reached him and he gave a nod, not trusting himself to speak “What are you doing out on Christmas eve by yourself?”

“I could ask you the same thing” You chuckled slightly raising your hands up in defeat at his remark to your question

“Internship finally let me out for the next two days” His eyes blinked harsher hearing your sentence, you got the internship?

You chuckled softly at his reaction as you could read him like an open book. “Your letter of recommendation worked. I was one of the first people to receive a spot, so whatever you wrote did wonders on them” His lips curled into a smile, pleased to hear that he was able to help you

“Congratulations, I’m happy to hear that”

After his congratulation, the two of you stayed in an awkward silence. Neither sure of whether to continue the conversation or cut it off at that, but before stressing over it more the smallest snowflake fell between and caught your attention.

Both of you looked to sky to see the snowfall, realizing it was going to be a white Christmas. You smiled softly as you rested your hand out to catch the falling snow.

Sunghoon shifted his gaze from the sky onto you and saw how the moonlight and snowfall painted your eyes like you held in the universe in them.

“Do you want to have dinner?” Sunghoon’s words fell from his mouth before he could even realize what he was saying

He stopped and cursed at himself under his breath for allowing his thought to slip through his mouth and when he heard silence from you, he wanted the world to swallow him whole in that moment.

But your response is what brought him back to reality, “I would like that”

“What?”

“You asked me to dinner and I said I would like that. Don’t tell me you’re backing away from your offer Mr-“

“Please call me Sunghoon when we’re outside of school grounds” He stopped you from continuing your sentence and you held back a smile and nodded your head

“Alright then Sunghoon, what do you have in mind for dinner?”

Oh he really had done it to himself now. He was doomed.

——

Your face crinkled as you laughed at something Sunghoon had said as you were leaving the restaurant. You expected the dinner to be awkward but instead it was like the two of you had known each other for years. Not a single ounce of tension was felt even though he was your professor and you were his student.

Sunghoon arrived to his car and he shot you a confused look when he saw you weren’t following. “What are you doing?”

“I’m sending you off, I have to get a taxi to go back to mine” You told and Sunghoon shook his head, what kind of monster would he be if he left you to take a taxi

“Nonsense, I’ll drive you. No need to waste money” He told before opening the passenger door for you and your heart stopped

“A-are you sure? I really don’t mind taking a taxi Mr-”

“Please I insist. And you were doing so good not calling me Mr. Park throughout the dinner” You nervously gulped as you unconsciously squished your thighs a little closer together hearing the hint of praise from him

Sunghoon took notice of you squishing your thighs after his words and he could feel his stomach crawling inside out as he tilted his neck to the side to knock some sense into himself. He couldn’t, he possibly couldn’t.

Oh but he could and he did.

Because here he was inside your place, in your bed, his body flushed in between your legs as he feverishly kissed you like no tomorrow.

He was only supposed to walk you to your front door to make sure you got in safely but what he didn’t expect was for you to crash your lips onto his the moment the clock struck 12.

“Merry Christmas Sunghoon” You mumbled against his lips and he didn’t remember the last time someone had genuinely wished him one

He knows he should’ve pushed you away, to tell you that this was wrong, that neither of you could do this. But he was twisted, sick, and messy in his head. He couldn’t get enough of your taste now that he got a sliver of it.

Your hold on him was something so desperate and needy that he couldn’t possibly let you go as the two of you found a feverish pace for the kiss. The snow falling over your bundle up bodies as the dim light shun above you two outside your front door.

Sunghoon’s arms were hesitant to wrap around you to bring you impossibly closer to him and you noticed. You wanted, needed, him to hold you the way you were clinging onto him.

You carefully brought his arms to hold you and he let out a soft noise when he finally felt you in his arms. It felt so right to have you there as if you were meant to be there in the first place (in his mind you were).

He could feel the lack of oxygen in him but he couldn’t care in the slightest. Your lips were like a paradise and he rather give up heaven if he had to just to keep tasting you.

“I need you Sunghoon” He stopped kissing you and pulled away to stare at you with wide eyes, not expecting to hear those words to ever leave your mouth

Your pupils were blown out wide as you stared up to him with a cloud of lust filling your eyes. His mind became hazy as it ran miles in a loop of the only rational thought holding onto dear life. He shouldn’t give in.

But the way your lips fit perfectly with his and the way you felt under his touch. He threw all his rationality out of the window, unable to say no to you when you’re willingly offering yourself so preciously to him.

His lips soon found a place on your jaw before tracing down to your neck in a haste. “Gonna have to do better than that to get my cock” You relished in his words as you knew this was the sign you’ve been longing for

You bit back your smirk and you let your body melt in his touch and kisses as your hands found their way to his hair to mess it up from its middle part.

“Then let me bring you inside” You whispered just loud enough for him to hear and Sunghoon forced himself to detach from you to allow you open the door

As you hastily tried to open the door wanting to get him inside as soon as possible, Sunghoon’s arms wrapped around you, allowing himself to get lost in the daze of you.

He kissed the side of your face not able to get enough of you as his thumbs rubbed circles on your coated body. Even though there was a multiple layers between you and his touch, you could still feel his touch burn your body.

When you finally opened the door, he quickly pushed you inside and locked the front door.

The moment he turned to face you, you grabbed him by the collar to kiss him once again. He chuckled against your lips as your hands began removing his layers. “You can start taking mine off too” You mumbled and he was quick to remove the piece of clothing that prevented him from touching your skin.

The kiss became more impatient as you guided him towards your room, neither of your lips breaking from each other. You had your hands mixed in his hair as his hands roamed over your body, trying memorize every single crevice on your body.

When you made it to your room, you knocked the door open and broke off the kiss to push him onto your bed with a pant. Sunghoon looked to you to take a moment to properly comprehend that this was actually happening.

Your eyes darting over him to burn how you had your professor sitting on your bed burned into your memory.

As your eyes found his, you slowly began to remove your shirt and Sunghoon’s eyes never left yours. You gulped as you discarded your shirt somewhere leaving you in your bra as you took off your pants.

He was trying everything in his willpower to not look anywhere else besides your eyes as you were removing your last piece of clothing. When you kicked your pants off somewhere in your room, you were now left in your undergarments only.

Sunghoon who witnessed it, couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that you, his student, his favorite student actually, was now crawling onto his lap.

He gulped as his hands unconsciously grabbed your hips as you positioned yourself right on top of him. He let out a deep groan feeling your clothed core right above his hard on.

You gasped feeling him against you, even though he was restraint through his pants, you could still his imprint. You slowly rocked your hips to rub yourself against him, letting desperate whines leave your mouth for him.

This was not how either of you expected your Christmas to go.

But nevertheless, Sunghoon couldn’t take it anymore. He flipped you onto your back and you let out a shocked squeal at how easily he did that but your mind went blank as he removed his shirt and your jaw dropped.

You knew Sunghoon had muscles, you could tell by the way his shirts would fit around him during class but you didn’t realize just how sculpted his body was. Your eyes trailed over him and you felt your heart pounding against your chest.

But you were disrupted from your thought as he dove straight into your neck to leave wet open kisses.

You moaned softly feeling his lips, his hands roaming higher up your body until they found your breast. He unclasped your bra with ease and freed your mounds before attaching his lips onto your left one, sucking and kissing your already harden nipple and having his free hand to pinch your right one.

You jolted harshly at the sensation on both of your nipples and you could feel his smirk against your body.

His tongue glided over your sensitive nipple making you whimper loudly, fingers pinching them before rubbing his thumb over it to soothe the nerves. He removed his lips from your boob, bringing his lips onto yours. You grabbed his wrist as his hands held your boobs as he flushed himself against you.

You felt the poke against your clothed core and as embarrassing as it was, you almost came right then and there.

You don’t remember the last time you ever got with someone, too focused on school (and secretly your professor) that you didn’t even have time to take care of yourself.

You rubbed yourself against his leg that laid between your legs and he grinned in the kiss as he bit your lips harshly causing you to squeal.

“Such a fucking slut. Can’t even wait for me to fuck you that you’re already rubbing your soaking pussy against me” Sunghoon grabbed your chin forcing you to look down on the leg you were grinding on and the wet patch you left behind

“Rubbing me like some bitch in heat” You whimpered at his words and you shook your head trying to prove yourself but your actions spoke other wise

All you knew were praises but hearing such belittling words from your professor only made you wetter and you desperately needed him inside of you. “Please Mr. Park plea-” But you didn’t expect him to squish your face in his hand as he forced you to look at him

His harsh lust filled gaze send a wave down to your already dripping self. “Call me sir”

Your throat went dry, never using such nicknames before. But you heard the sternness of his voice which only fueled you even more. “S-sir” You tested the foreign nickname on your tongue for the first time and hearing it fall from your lips went straight to his cock

Having the top student sprawled beneath him begging for him did wonders on his mind. But he wasn’t going to give in that easily.

“Come on, I know you can do better than that. I need words, what do you want me to do?” Sunghoon teased as he already knew exactly what you wanted

But something about having you beg for him riled him up. Just because it was you didn’t mean you were easily going to get what you wanted from him.

“Sir please” Your voice full of desperation, “I-I need you inside of me. Need you to feel you. Want you to fill me up with your cock, I need you” You chocked out in whines and Sunghoon smirked seeing you wither before him

“Such a good little slut” He kissed the side of your face making you squeal, and you finally heard the unbuckling his belt and your heart raced

You looked down to see him freeing his harden cock which sprung out, hitting his abdomen and your jaw dropped seeing his size. This was nothing compared to what you thought it was when you were rubbing yourself against him.

You clearly underestimated your professors size and he noticed, “Oh don’t tell me you thought I was small. Come on, give me some credit” He smirked noticing you gulping nervously as you were amazed by his size

Your hands went to admire him and he groaned when your hands wrapped around him with a daze in your eyes. He closed his eyes as you softly pumped him almost causing him to throw his head back from the sheer pleasure.

With the faintest touches, you were already sending him into an overdrive. He doesn’t know if it’s because it’s been so long since he’s last been with someone like this or if it was because his deep hidden forbidden desires were being fulfilled by the only person in his mind, you.

His eyes clamped harder when he felt your hand go lower to fiddle with his aching balls that have been waiting months to be released.

“You’re so heavy” You mumbled at the observation and you noticed his angry tip leaking precum

You knew how bad your thoughts were in that moment, but you needed him to rearrange your whole intestines.

Your hands brought him over your stomach to measure just how deep he would be inside of you and you nervously gulped seeing how far deep he would be, “I don’t know if you’re gonna fit…”

Sunghoon murmured a soft ‘fuck’ under his breath seeing just how deep he would be inside of you, he almost lost control and rammed into you to make you dumb and only think about his cock.

But he knew you were right, he didn’t even know himself if he could fit inside of you.

“Then we’ll make it fit. You’ll be a good girl and take it right? Take all of me and everything I give you?” You looked up to him with doe eyes and Sunghoon needed to ruin you as you innocently nodded your head

He hummed pleased with your nod before having his fingers play with the fabric of your panties, noticing how it clung to your wetness as he peeled them off you painfully slow.

The more you were becoming exposed to him, the more you were growing shy and when he finally removed your panties, you unconsciously covered your bare self with your hands.

Sunghoon smack his tongue against his teeth before moving your hands away to admire you in all your glory. He saw how your soaked core gleamed with your arousal and he was captivated by you. He took a moment to appreciate you and your cheeks burned as his gaze never left your gaping hole.

“Perfect, absolutely perfect” He mumbled to himself before holding himself in his hands, giving himself a few pumps before dragging his tip across your wet self in a teasing manner, his precum and your arousal smearing together making the most beautiful scene in front of him.

Your hole clenched around nothing as he tapped his tip against your empty hole that begged to be filled and destroyed by him.

But you whined impatiently as he replaced his aching cock with his slender fingers. Even though, he desperately wanted to just be inside you, he knew he would split you in half and not in the good way if he didn’t prep you.

You bit your lip as you felt his fingers graze over your wetness and you looked down to see Sunghoon in a daze as he watched you coat his fingers.

You were going to say something but you gasped when you suddenly felt his finger enter you without any warning. He hissed at your tightness as he slowly pumped his finger in and out of you. Your body melted into your mattress from his finger alone.

Sunghoon soon entered a second finger, stretching you out a little more. You let out soft moans and it was like music to his ears. His fingers painfully dragged in and out as his thumb found a resting point on your clit.

The slow circles on your sensitive bud made your body jolt as the moans became louder and heavier. You felt the familiar knot in your stomach and right when it was going to snap, Sunghoon ripped his hand away.

You frustratedly whined that your close orgasm was ripped from you. Sunghoon chuckled seeing your frustrated state as small tears filled the corner of your eyes, daring to fall.

You saw as he stuck the fingers that were just inside of you inside him mouth as he hummed wildly tasting you for the first time.

“You taste so sweet baby” The endearing nickname filled your ears and mind as your frustration melted away as your heart warmed

But that didn’t last too long as it quickly overshadowed by the desperate need for him. “S-Sir p-please” You broke out in a whimper and Sunghoon cooed you as he rubbed your cheek softly

“You’ve been doing so well, I’m so proud of you baby” He tried to calm down your sniffled self as he grabbed his cock in his hand before dragging his tip across your pussy again before protruding your hole with his tip

Your mouth fell slack as you could feel him slipping in as he hissed by how tight you were. Your mind was already sent into a drunken dazed by the stretch you’ve never felt before.

He let out a broken chuckle as he saw your expression, “You’re already gone and I only gave you a taste of my tip” He continued to ease his way in, the clench making it difficult for him

“B-Big” You admitted breathlessly the moment he finally made it halfway

The two of you panted heavily feeling the undeniable pain but pleasurable stretch as Sunghoon nearly lost himself in the hold you had on his cock.

He gave you sometime to adjust as he rubbed a hand on your hips to help your shuddering and after a few moments you gave him a weak nod to keep going.

As he kept moving deeper into you, your gasp only grew louder, your hands resting on his shoulder as your fingertips dug into his shoulders.

He hissed feeling your fingertips in his shoulders but he continued to slowly push through. With each passing second, tears fell down your face and Sunghoon kissed your tears away.

“I know baby, I know. You can take it. I promise it’ll feel so good” You whimpered as you wrapped your arm around him to hold him close to your aching body

He finally bottomed out and the two of you let out a heavy shudder trying to get use to the taste the new forbidden heaven.

“You’re so pretty baby. So damn pretty” He praised you hoping it helped ease you and it did to a certain extent

The stretch was undeniably delicious and when lightly tapped his back, a sign for him to move, he smiled weakly, giving shallow thrust at first.

From his first thrust, you felt a new side of pleasure you never felt before. No one ever being able to make you feel like this till this day. You just never expected the one to show you this new world of pleasure would be your own professor.

You moaned as you held him close to you as he found a spot in the crook of your neck. The noises you tried to contain became loose in his ears when he began to pick up pace as his tip started to kiss your cervix with each thrust which you didn’t even know was possible.

“F-fuck baby. Gonna fuck you so good” He gruntled against your neck as he soon found a pace that made you fall apart on his cock

His pelvis met with your clit from the close proximity and you were seeing stars. “M-Mr- Sun-Hoo-Sir” Your mind didn’t know what to call Sunghoon in this moment

“How often did you think about your professor’s cock ramming into you? Bet you waited for the day to lure me into your bed just so that I can fuck you like the slut you are” Sunghoon spewed the brewing thoughts in his head

“E-every d-day Sung…H-hoon” You managed to moan out as the friction against your clit made you unintentionally tighten around Sunghoon’s hammering cock inside of you and the two of you were falling apart from the pleasure.

“Just like that, say my fucking name from your pretty mouth” Sunghoon pulled away from his spot on your neck to look at your sprawled body as he gripped your sides to slam his hips harsher against yours. “Nothing in that pretty head of yours but my name”

You knocked your head back as you tightly gripped your sheets, trying to hold in your sounds as best as you could but Sunghoon wouldn’t allow that. He rubbed his fingers over your swollen clit causing you to scream and cover your mouth surprised by the loud noise that left your mouth.

“Let the whole neighborhood know who’s fucking you this good. Let them hear you moan and whine like the slut you are for your professor’s cock” You were beyond the edge as his hips snapped against yours, your body jolting into the mattress with each of his thrust

And he loved the scene before him, the way your breast bounced from his harsh thrust, how your head was thrown back and your mouth was wide open with nothing but calls of his name and moans leaving it.

You arched your back sending a new shock of pleasure over you and Sunghoon’s managed to somehow go even deeper with the new angle as he held your lower back to keep your back arched as he continued to pound into you like you were his own toy.

“Clo-Close s-ir” You whined as you could feel the familiar knot forming in your stomach again. “Please! ‘m g-gonna come”

“Then come for me” Sunghoon voice was hot against your ringing ears and that was the push you needed before a tidal wave of pleasure crashed over you

You moaned loudly and Sunghoon groaned feeling you tightened around him from your climax and he noticed how you tried to pull away from him due to the simulation of his slipping cock in you.

You thought it was over as you panted tiredly and he slowed down his pace. But your legs were suddenly thrown over his shoulders as your body was pressed deeper into the mattress before he picked up his pace again.

You let out a loud sound, clawing at your sheets from the stimulation as your mind reeled from his brutal pace on your hole.

“We’re not done until I dump all of my cum inside you like my own personal cumdump” With the mention of the new nickname, you clamped down harder on him and he smirked feeling your reaction to his degrading words

“Oh? You like being your professor’s cumdump? You like knowing that you’ll be full of my cum so deep inside you, don’t you slut?”

“Yes yes yes” You blabbed as Sunghoon’s pace never let up as your pussy only continued to suck him in. “Gonna milk me for all my worth” Sunghoon groaned, feeling his own high rising

When you felt his cock twitch inside of you, you knew he was close. You clamped harder down on him wanting to stay true to his words. You were going to milk him for all his worth.

“Fuck! Tightening around me like that” Sunghoon panted as his head landed against your ear, Sunghoon’s thrust meeting your skin harshly that you swore there were would be bruising left

“Want all of it” Your voice was like a siren to him and Sunghoon knew exactly what you were referring to and he smirked proudly

“You want my cum that badly?” Your weak nods were sent straight to his ragging cock but suddenly he pulled out of you, making you feel empty

You whined loudly at the sudden emptiness, “Hoonie” The foreign nickname dragged out of your mouth and Sunghoon froze hearing it

He never knew such a nickname could make his heart flip and slowly have a power to conquer over him. He was going to need you to call him that forever.

He quickly lined himself back to your gaping hole before ramming his cock back into you with one thrust causing all air to be knocked out of you.

His pace was even more brutal as he used you like his own personal fleshlight. “H-Hoonie” You called out again and his mind was stuck on filling you up. He kept muttering soft ‘fucks’ and ‘just like that’ as he kept using your hole

But when he slowed down his pace suddenly after being so harsh and sloppy, you were going to complain before feeling such sharp thrust into you, jolting your body forwards until you felt hot spurts of his cum shoot deep inside you as Sunghoon rode out his high.

Sunghoon was telling the truth about filling you up as he gave a few more strokes inside of you to make sure his cum remained deep inside of you before painfully pulling out. He huffed, feeling the pressure of you finally releasing him and you whimpered feeling empty without him.

Sunghoon rubbed your sides as he admired your face shining in an afterglow he left you in. He smiled tiredly, planting kisses on your face. “You did so well baby, my good girl” His praises made you clench around nothing which forced his and your mix of cum to spill out of you

Sunghoon’s eyes traveled down and he was blessed that he did because he witnessed the most dazzling scene he had ever watched.

“You’re so fucking beautiful baby” He murmured as he pulled away from your sore body, creasing your inner thigh as he admired his work

You shivered feeling the sudden cold without his warmth on your body, your eyelids becoming heavy but your mouth fell open when his finger scooped around your messy pussy before sliding the mess back in.

“Don’t want to let it go to waste” Sunghoon hummed pushing his cum back deep into you, right where it was meant to be in

——

Now in the present time. You made your way to Sunghoon’s office, having a bounce to your steps. As you walked through the campus, many people from students to the dean of the university happily greeted you as you passed by.

You were happy to wave back to them before finally reaching the destination you wanted to be at in the first place. You softly knocked on Sunghoon’s office door and it was almost as if he knew it was you(he did).

When he gave you the all clear to enter, you opened the door to peak your head inside before bringing in the rest of your body and Sunghoon swirled in his chair to face you as you walked in. Sunghoon had his rimless clear glasses hanging from his nose, a paper in hand with his white button sleeves folded up to his forearms, the watch you gifted him as a late birthday present gleamed on his wrist under the warm dim lighting and a few of the buttons undone from his shirt.

It was near the end of the day and the university was clearing up as faculty members and students finally left after finishing another tired filled day.

But unlike you, it was no surprise that people would see you staying behind to ‘study’ when in reality 5 times out of the week, you’re finding your way to Sunghoon’s office for the ‘briefings’ the two of you had established after that blissful night on Christmas day.

“Good evening Mr. Park” You greeted him formally but as you closed the door making sure to lock it, you went over to your favorite professor desk, dropping your bag on the chair in front of his desk as you went over to give him a kiss which he happily accepted

“Hi baby” He murmured in the kiss having missed your presence even though he saw you earlier that morning for the morning lecture

But that was never enough for him, he could only discreetly glance across the lecture hall as you attentively paid attention to his lesson.

He softly placed a hand on the back of your head to keep you against his lips for a moment longer before finally pulling away.

When he pulled away, he saw the dopey grin you had and his heart swelled. You went to grab your discarded bag on the chair before dragging the lonely chair in the corner of Sunghoon’s office that he reserved just for you and grabbed your laptop and all the papers you needed.

Sunghoon adjusted his own papers to accommodate your stuff now clamoring his desk just like how he always did for you.As you made yourself comfortable, you and Sunghoon stayed in comfortable silence as the two of you worked on your respective tasks.

This was how it usually starts whenever you came to visit your favorite professor for ‘debriefings’.

However, if it were to go further than this, it always depended on if either of you were in the mood (which was almost always) and who would initiate it first.

Sunghoon narrowed his eyes reading over a paper that made absolutely no sense, his hand slipped onto your thigh, giving a light squeeze when he saw yet another error on the paper.

You didn’t even flinch in the slightest from the squeeze, already used to it as you continued to type away on your laptop trying to submit something that was not even due until 2 weeks from now, but you always loved being ahead of the game.

You slightly tilted your head confused when you received an email but when you opened it, you silently squealed happily which caught Sunghoon’s attention.

He peeled his gaze away from the paper onto you who was smiling widely at your laptop screen. You could feel his questioning gaze and you faced him showing off your beautiful smile as you turned the laptop around for him to read the email you received.

He read the email with a stoic face but a small smile soon rose to his face when he finished. In the email it stated that you were the top student to receive the highest marks in the past semester finals.

“Congratulations baby” Your heart swelled to Sunghoon’s praise as you cheekily smiled, feeling proud of the achievement you accomplished yet again

“Last semester was a little harder so I’m surprised I placed first again” You admitted but you melted when Sunghoon soon creased your face feeling just how ultimately proud he was

“You achieved it because you deserved it, don’t ever doubt yourself” You rubbed your cheek against his hand, the smile still on your face and Sunghoon quickly put the paper in hand down and carefully pulled you onto his lap

You squeaked when you landed on his lap as he continued to crease your face as he stared at you with pure admiration. “So proud of my baby” He murmured as he planted softly kisses against your arm

You giggled the moment his mouth came to contact with your skin and you could feel his smile to your giggles, his arms snaking around your body, holding you firm on his lap.

“You deserve a reward don’t you? For such an achievement” He spoke as he looked to you and you shyly nodded your head because no matter how many times you were in this position you will still feel butterflies in your stomach

“I have to meet some deadlines this afternoon so give me a few minutes okay?” Your smile soon turned to a slight frown but you nodded your head in understanding

Sunghoon’s heart shattered seeing the frown on your face and he immediately offered something to help ease you until he could properly give you the treatment you deserve.

“Come sit on me mhm? Just to bay your aching self” You immediately perked at Sunghoon’s alternative and you were quick to start unbuckling his belt

He chuckled lowly seeing just how eager you were as you pulled your own pants down. “It’s almost as if you only work hard to get things from me” He joked, he knows it wasn’t true, you were naturally a hard worker but he liked to teased

When you pulled out his cock from his pants, you nearly salivated forgetting just how much you loved it. You saw how it softly twitched in your hand as it was slowly hardening. You smiled softly before pulling your panties to the side, you didn’t expect to need any prep because of the amount of arousal leaking out of you just by his praises alone.

You teased his growing angry tip with your hole and you slightly hisses thinking you would’ve been able to take it without prep but you overestimated yourself.

Sunghoon saw how your face contorted from the sudden stretch you thought you could handle and at first he was going to help you but as he saw you struggled to take him, he decided to let you take the lead.

His hands found their way to your hips to help steady yourself as you finally began to sink on him. Your soft gasp and whimpers and the way you clenched around him fueled Sunghoon to the moon. He tried to control himself from throwing everything off his desk to absolutely pound into you.

But he remembered he only offered you to sit on him until he finishes his work to meet his deadlines, but he was foolish to not think of his own being in this matter. He was snapped out of his thoughts when you bottomed out, you and him slightly hissing, you at the stretch and Sunghoon from the clench.

He rubbed circles on your hips. “You okay baby?” His words made you weakly nod, resting your forehand with his

He closed his eyes to be in the moment of having you in his arms, you wrapped so intimately around him. He soon found your lips with his as he gave you a loving kiss which you reciprocated with ease. You hummed happily in his kiss as your hands held the side of his face.

“I have to finish my deadline baby” Sunghoon told in between the kiss but you didn’t want to let him go just yet

“Five more minutes please” You pleaded as you pulled away and he couldn’t say no to you, he grabbed the back of your nape before brining your lips back onto his

You smiled happily in the kiss as you continued to sit on his lap, feeling his cock twitch every now, desperately wanting to move but not able to just yet.

When he pulled away from the kiss, your lips chased after his for a few more seconds and he smiled warmly at your actions.

“The quicker I finish this, the quicker I’m yours” He soothed your hips and ass that stayed pressed against him

You sighed heavily before turning around, you and him gasping at the small friction created, craving more but both of knocking yourself out of that haze.

You faced your back towards him as you poorly dragged your laptop to continue working.

Sunghoon weakly smiled before grabbing the discarded paper he was grading, before adjusting his glasses up his nose bridge as he continued reading over it.

A casual debriefing with your favorite professor.

——

“Today you will be working in pairs for the assignment. Choose your partner carefully” Sunghoon announced dismissing the students that were quick to mingle with one another to see who would be willingly to be their partners

You remained sitting at your seat before placing your headphones on and beginning to tap away at your keyboard having the intent to finish the assignment quickly wanting to take a nap before going on the rest of your day.

You worked alone on every group or paired assignment Sunghoon assigned as he deemed it unfair how people would only pair up with you to have the intentions of taking advantage of your intelligence to get themselves a high mark.

So Sunghoon didn’t allow others to pair up with you which bothered you at first but you soon enjoyed it as you were able to go at the pace you wanted and complete the assignment the way you wanted to.

As you happily typed away searching through the textbook with your music playing. You were too engrossed in the assignment that you were brought back to reality when you felt a faint tap on your shoulder.

You looked away from your laptop to see a guy you’ve never seen before. His mouth was moving but you couldn’t hear him, you pulled on the side of your headphone away from your ear to listen.

“Oh I was speaking to you when you had headphones in, I’m sorry” He rambled out the apology as he nervously fiddled with his fingers, you could hear the hint of some type of accent in his voice as you waved him off to not worry about it

“I’m sorry to bother you, I just saw that you were working alone and I was wondering if you would like to partner up with me” The guys shyly asked as he rubbed his nape awkwardly waiting for your response

“I’m Jake by the way, I didn’t introduce myself earlier” The said Jake guy smiled and you gave a heartfelt smile in return “And you are?“

Your eyes widen at his question, Jake didn’t know who you were. But instead of being offended as others thought you would be if people didn’t know you were, it felt like a breath of fresh air.

You were so used to people having exceptions for you and you didn’t mind them knowing that it’s how you presented yourself but it was nice to know someone who was oblivious to who you were.

You introduced yourself to Jake and he continued to give you a kind smile before asking if he could take the seat next to you. You decided to indulge in this waif of fresh air in the form of Jake just a little, you had a good feeling that he wouldn’t be using you just to get a high mark.

However, you didn’t realize the piercing gaze that shot towards you from the professor’s podium. Sunghoon gripped the side of the podium tightly that he might’ve left indents but he didn’t care.

Seeing you suddenly became all chatty with someone set something ugly in him. The way you were smiling at the guy who awfully took a seat close to you made something in him rot. Why were you smiling like that?

Yet, Sunghoon found it even more sickening that his students took notice the new pair of you and Jake. They knew Sunghoon’s rule that no one was allowed to pair up with you to provide fairness which was half true so why wasn’t he applying the rule onto Jake? He wondered that himself but he saw how you looked relaxed in his presence and he decided to let you have your little fun.

What was supposed to be a paired project that took up the whole class, was completed by you and Jake not even 30 minutes later after assigning it and that bothered Sunghoon greatly.

You were laughing at something Jake said as you were walking up to Sunghoon’s desk and when you reached it, you immediately knew something was off. Instead of raising his head to give you his undivided attention like always, he didn’t bother to look up.

He kept his gaze down at his desk that was scattered with papers and he only motioned for you lay the paper down at the corner of the desk instead of handing it to him to grade immediately.

Your stomach churned as you noticed Sunghoon was treating you differently today. He didn’t utter a single remark to you on how you finished early and only remained silent.

You stayed frozen for a moment in shock to his new behavior towards you but he didn’t seem to care in the slightest and this made your heart hurt.

Jake faintly called your name to garner your zoned attention and when you finally began peeling yourself away from his desk, Sunghoon finally called out your name.

You turned almost immediately that you hoped no one noticed. You saw Sunghoon skimming through yours and Jake’s completed paper, his grimace growing by the second.

“Please meet me in my office later to discuss your performance in my class” Sunghoon said before placing the paper back down, letting out a disappointed sigh as he adjusted his glasses

Your heart dropped. You could only aimlessly nod your head as your mind reeled with questions and worry.

“Uh do you need to see me as well Mr. Park?” Jake chimed in and Sunghoon didn’t even dare to look at Jake and shook his head

“No, this only concerns her. She is the top student and it would pain the whole university to see her slip up” Sunghoon’s words cut through you like a knife and you tried to hold back the tears that burned your eyes

You hated when you were talked down upon, especially when it came to your academics and Sunghoon knew that perfectly well.

——

You softly knocked on Sunghoon’s office door at the usual time for the ‘debriefings’ and he called you in with a tone that you had never heard before. You struggled to swallow down as you stepped into his office and having to be on the receiving end of Sunghoon’s harsh gaze.

It was as if your brain went into autopilot as you fell into you usual routine whenever you were in his office. You closed the door behind you, making sure it’s locked, dropping your bag on the chair in front of his desk and going over to his side to give him a kiss.

But right when you were going to kiss him, Sunghoon jerked away from you adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. You blinked unexpected by his actions as the unease started to settle in your stomach more as you stared at him as he motioned for to sit but not in your usual seat reserved for you.

Forced to sit in the seat that he made everyone else sit on. You could feel your heart crawling to your throat as your heavy steps took you to the chair in front of him, grabbing your bag before placing it on your lap.

“Do you know I asked for you here?” Sunghoon raised an eyebrow as he rested his elbow on his desk

Your eyes shifted from him and onto your lap as you fiddled with your fingers and you could hear his heavy sigh at your lack of response. “Well you should’ve checked your work before submitting it to me” He told

Your eyes widen as it finally registered in your mind. You made to triple check the work before submitting it to Sunghoon and you knew it was correct. But hearing it from his harsh tones made your eyes watered with tears as you believed his words that you were in fact slipping up.

Sunghoon noticed your demeanor dropping at his words and he wanted to ease your growing frantic self, always despising seeing you like this as he knew you took your academics very seriously, but a greater rage burned him that made him overlook you.

“You know we take academic here very serious, especially yours. Do you know how much it pained me to give you a failing grade on the assignment?” Your jaw dropped as you let out a shivered breath

You’ve never failed an assignment before so hearing that that you received your very first failing grade especially it being from Sunghoon’s class made your world crash down.

You stared at him with fear spreading across your face and you almost broke down right then and there.

“I-I failed it?” Your voice was shaky as you tried to keep your composure as you stared to Sunghoon with teary eyes

Of course you didn’t actually fail the assignment, you excelled in it like you always did. However, Sunghoon was so bothered that most of the answers weren’t in your handwriting but rather by someone else’s, your partner, Jake.

It aggravated him skimming over the paper seeing the doodles he usually loves smeared with someone else’s doodles along side yours.

There were signs of multiple tic tac toe rounds on the paper with little notes saying ‘I win’ or ‘You lose’ in your handwriting that was responded to by Jake’s writing of ‘I’ll win next round’ or ‘I’ll destroy you’.

I’ll destroy you.

Sunghoon wanted to burn the paper to atoms acting like it never existed in the first place but he couldn’t do that. He had to put the grade in for his favorite student.

“It breaks my heart to put the grade in” Sunghoon sighed but you quickly weeped in pure desperation

“Sunghoon it’ll drop my grade down, it’ll cause my overall GPA to drop! Please don’t put it in. I’ll do anything! Just please don’t put it in the grade book” Your sniffled pleas set something off in Sunghoon as he saw the tears spilling from your eyes, in his eyes you were the prettiest crier

“Anything?” Sunghoon raised an eyebrow and you quickly got up from the seat and dropped yourself down to your knees in front of him as you stared up to him with teary eyes

It wasn’t your first time being in this position, but it was the first time that you were doing this in order to avoid a failing grade. But you simply couldn’t afford it.

Sunghoon got up from his chair before crouching to meet at your level. “Aw my good girl knows just what to do” He hummed warmly as you lips quivered from held back sobs

He wiped your tears away with his thumb with a sinister look in his eye before taking place back in his chair as he manspread in front of you, waiting for you to crawl to him.

You felt humiliated having to do this but your grade was at stake and you couldn’t allow a slip up, you needed to make sure everyone was aware that you still and forever will be the top student.

As you kneeled before Sunghoon, he tried to suppress the smirk daring to grow on his face. You looked absolutely perfect before him and just like Jake’s words. “I’ll destroy you baby” He softly murmured creasing the side of your face, a sign of endearment instead of the cold stoic felling he was showing you beforehand

As you fondled with his belt and slacks in order to bring them to his mid thigh just enough for you to pull out his heavy cock that leaked with precum at the tip.

You knew what you needed to do as you began softly stroking his cock with your hands. Sunghoon groaned lowly as he watched your hands wrap around his cock before moving up and down dragging out the movements. “Better start working faster than that baby”

You replaced your hands with your mouth as dragged your tongue from the base all the way to his tip’s slit. Sunghoon threw his head back letting a rubble erupt from his chest as you began to leave feather kisses at his tip before opening your mouth to suck him.

As your mouth began to close around him, he closed his eyes forgetting just how wonderful your mouth was to him. “Damnit baby” His breathless pants continued as you bobbed your head up and down trying to find the pace that always set him on the edge

You tried to swallow him whole as you managed to bottom him out, feeling him in the back of your throat. You gagged trying to hold your place there as much as you could before ripping yourself away for air.

You panted heavily with a string of saliva connecting your lips to Sunghoon’s cock and he smirked widely at this. You gulped still trying to catch your breath before connecting your lips back onto his tip as your tongue swirled around, trying to clean him from all the precum.

You looked up to him to see him staring at you as if you were the only person left in the world. You maintained eye contact with him as you sucked, the wet noises filling his office.

Sunghoon’s mind reeled in the feeling of your mouth as he let out breathless grunts and groans as he felt your hands fondling with his aching balls as you continued to suck him for all his worth. As he was getting lost in the sensation his hands instinctively came to the top of your head as he began to buck his hips into your mouth. “You’d let me fuck your pretty mouth won’t you?”

You gagged as his cock slipped deeper into your throat, spit forming at the side of your mouth as you weakly nodded your head and that was all Sunghoon needed to use your throat.

He adjusted himself, feeling how you became pliant in his hands as he bobbed your head and down his length to meet his harsh thrust. You placed your hands on his knees, gagging loudly as tears burned your eyes more as Sunghoon continued to use your mouth for his own pleasure.

“Just like that baby, fuck. You’re so perfect for me” He groaned out, you weren’t able to respond as he continued to use your mouth and you could tell he was already close as his thrust became more frantic chasing his release

After a few more harsh thrust, his seed spilled in your throat and he groaned loudly as he pulled you away to have his cum shoot onto your face and shirt.

When Sunghoon finally came down from his high, he was breathing heavily trying to come back from the high of the mind goggling head you always give him but he saw the sight in front of him.

Your face and shirt stained with his release as you looked to him with doe eyes and he grabbed your jaw forcing you to open to see if you swallowed the little remnants you got before he pulled away.

He stroked your face lovingly as he saw that there was nothing left behind. He scooped the spurts of cum on your face with his finger and bringing it to your mouth. You knew what he wanted and you gave it him as you sucked his finger clean.

Sunghoon brought you up from your knees to bring you into a rough kiss. The kiss was reverent as his hold on you was tight. “Gonna make sure you don’t remember your name, let alone that fuckass partner of yours” Sunghoon gruff out before flipping you over his desk where student’s paper were soon scattered everywhere

Hearing his words made you realized that his behavior stemmed from unnecessary jealousy caused by Jake. You were surprised seeing just how jealous he got and it sent a wave straight down to your aching heat.

Yet, you shirked when the cold air suddenly hit your bare bottom “You soaked right through your panties” Sunghoon’s finger grazed your drenching core “You’re so wet… Just for me right baby?” You lambently nodded your head, losing yourself in the small friction

“All for you” You breathed out and before you realized, Sunghoon was already sinking into you. You gasped loudly at the unexpected intrusion, feeling the familiar stretch of his cock breaking you

“H-hoon!” You whimpered as you tried to get accustomed to the burn but Sunghoon didn’t listen to your pleas as he already began to move in your tight hole

“Sucking me in so good” Sunghoon chuckled as you gripped the ends of his desk feeling your body jolting from his shallow thrust “Hoonie” You strained out a moan but he was quick to send a spank to your ass

“That’s not my name- damnit no matter how many times I split you open you’re still so tight” He let out as he fully sunk in, groaning at how tight you were clenching around him

And without anytime for you catch your breath from the familiar stretch, he was already slipping in and out of you as he was soon finding a fast rhythmic pace that had you seeing stars.

The office filled with your moans and sound of skin slapping, “S-sir please faster” You whined knowing that you shouldn’t have asked for something you couldn’t handle but you were already too beyond any rational thinking

“You wanna get fucked like the slut you are? Is that why you were practically flirting with him? Just to get my attention so that I can bend you over my desk and breed your pussy?” His fingers dug into your hips as he started to pound into you with no remorse, his tip bruising your cervix and you could feel the wind knocked out of you as you became a moaning mess

“Answer me slut” He gave another smack to your ass and you groaned at the stinging sensation, trying to form any sort of coherent words

“Y-yes- Breed me” Your few words only soared Sunghoon’s pride as he wrapped his bicep around your head to press your body against his as you threw your head back, your whines filling his ears

“Cream on my cock baby, just like how you were molded to” The noise in his office were beyond obscene, the wet noises mixing in with the skin on skin and his degrading words made you dizzy

Sunghoon could tell you were close as you were clenching around him tighter and tighter until you came all over his ramming cock. You moaned loudly as he helped you ride out your high but instead of slowing down, he only continued faster.

You tried to claw at his forearms in hopes for him to slow down as you felt your knees giving out on you and if not for him holding you up by his biceps, you would’ve fallen to the ground. You were beyond overstimulated but Sunghoon didn’t care as he continued to chase his own high.

“Fucking slut wanted to get fucked so badly… Had to do anything- S-shit! Just to get my attention” Your mouth stayed opened as all noises fell from it as your mind became hazy from the overstimulation, his relentless thrust and the headlock he had you in

You were too far gone but deep down, you wouldn’t be mad if he decided to fuck you like this every time. “S-sir” You chanted out nonstop

“What was your partner’s name? Tell me” Your body kept moving with his thrust and you could feel yourself losing it, “I asked for his name slut” And you know you shouldn’t have responded, you should’ve acted oblivious but you wanted to add fuel to the blaring fire

“Ja-Ja..k-“ You couldn’t even finish saying Jake’s name as Sunghoon’s headlock tighten around you and somehow his pace only become even more animalistic than what it already was. You held back a scream as you could feel a second wave of your orgasm building up.

“Say his name again and see what the fuck happens” Sunghoon warned before letting you out of his headlock having you body fall forward onto his desk as his hand pressed against your back to keep you there as his freehand had it’s fingers immediately find their way to your swollen clit begging for attention

You squealed as he rubbed your clit before adding tight pinches causing you to only thought of him, Sunghoon, Sir, Hoon, Hoonie, your favorite professor, Mr. Park.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you felt your second orgasm crash over your stimulated body. “Shit baby shit, just… Ahh- a little more. Gonna breed this pussy the way it was meant to”

‘You’ll remember who can only do this to you” Sunghoon started rambling, “I’m the only one that breed your pussy this good” His thrust became sloppy and you could feel his cock twitching inside you.

And when he gave the final harsh thrust, jolting your body forward causing some papers to fall off his desk, you whimpered feeling his hot release spurt into you, painting your velvet wall all white of him.

Sunghoon gave a few more painful thrust to make sure he fucked his cum deep into you before pulling out. You whined feeling suddenly empty without him inside you.

Sunghoon saw how your mixed released dripped down your thigh and he admired the scene. How ruined you were because of him. His finger scooped up the falling cum only to shove it back into your gaping hole, you whimpered at the intrusion of his fingers but he gave pepper kisses on your back.

“Shh it’s okay” He hummed before carefully peeling your body off his desk that was now an even more of a mess

The afterglow you had could be seen from miles away and Sunghoon smiled warmly as he brought your sensitive body toward him to cradle you as he sat in his chair with you on his lap. “You did so good baby, took everything I gave you”

You relished in the praise but it soon creeped back into your mind of why this had happened in the first place. “F-fail?” Was all you could murmur and Sunghoon cooed at you before softly slipping his fingers over your body towards your overstimulated clit

Your body jolted from his fingers as you whined shaking your head, trying to peel his fingers away from your swollen bud not able take anymore but Sunghoon shook his head.

“You can give me another one baby, I know you can” You whimpered as your attempt were futile as his fingers began rubbing over the bud in a painfully slow circular motion “Let me take care of you. Then we can see if you still failed or not”

——

When you finally made it back home that night after being dropped off by Sunghoon who made sure to give you an extra longer of a kiss at your front door, you landed straight onto your bed, absolutely exhausted from the rounds Sunghoon had put you through.

You always forget how high his stamina is and you know unlocked another level of his stamina by ten folds that only shined when his jealousy was through the roof.

You weakly pulled out your phone to see a message wishing you a goodnight and hope that you sleep well by Sunghoon and you chuckled softly to yourself, making sure to reply to him before going to check your grade for the paired assignment that you were afraid of seeing a failing grade instead of a passing one.

But with the little energy left in your body, you sat up on your bed, immediately smiling seeing the 104 percent left by Mr. Park for the paired assignment with a single comment left by him, ‘Good job’.

Even though it was simple comment, you knew it was only directed to you and not Jake (Sunghoon heavily expressed rather negative opinions about him in the car ride to yours even though Jake did no wrong).

Your heart filled to the brim seeing not only had you received full marks on the assignment, but you also received an extra 4 points just for being such a good student, his favorite student.

——

Time flew by as it was soon reaching the end of the second half of the semester before going on summer break. And as time was passing, it caused an unsettling unease to rest in your heart. The ‘relationship’ you had established with Sunghoon ever since winter break only continued to blur as you didn’t know what you two even were. You knew the two of you were intimate sexually but you always became confused when it came to romantic aspect of things.

But on Sunghoon’s end he never really used words to begin with, he rather used actions to express what he was feeling for you (even if you were oblivious to them).

You didn’t realize that whenever you would complain to Sunghoon about running out of your favorite chapstick it somehow magically appeared placed at your seat with a sticky note that had written on ‘:)’ or when you felt overwhelmed about some long project that none of your other partners were working on, expecting you to do all the work, which somehow ended up with you receiving full credit while the rest of your partners received nothing.

Sunghoon loved to shower you in his affection of gift giving, ranging from something easy like flowers everyday to the latest tiffany & co. necklace and bracelet set he thought suited you the best. Whatever you could possibly think of having and wanting, he would get it for you in a flash.

But with all of his actions, it was unclear to you where his feelings lied for you.

Even though he would randomly show up at your doorstep just because he missed you and wanted to see to you which always ended up having you and him cuddle in your bed until the next morning as you both rushed to the university after sleeping past the alarms in each other’s arms.

It didn’t mean he cared about you the same way you cared about him. He could easily just be doing all of that to make sure you stick around in which he did a good job because the sheer thought of some else entering the picture and have Sunghoon leave you in the dust always kept you up at night, fear eating you from the inside out.

But your worst nightmare came true as in walked someone else, another rising star student.

She transferred last year from another prestigious university and she was known to be the top student but when she transferred, she was placed in the 5th slot of the top 5 fives students, you still remaining in the 1st slot.

It was impossible of how she didn’t hear about you. She heard praises left and right for you for simply walking by and she was curious. That’s when she realized you were the top 1 student in the entire university. That was when she was determined to achieve the top 1 spot for herself. She began in the year she transferred to bypass all of the top 3 students to secure her spot in the top 2, just below you.

When you finally heard of a rising student and how she bypassed the top 3 students in a short amount of time and was now top 2, you were impressed instead of bothered as the gap between you two was unshakeable.

But you didn’t realized how she was willing to do anything in order to take the number 1 spot from you. It was nothing personal towards you but you were the pride and joy of the university and she was simply wanted the title for herself.

So when she heard she would be sharing a class with you in the beginning of the first term, she was excited to see how both of you would perform in the hardest taught on campus by the strictest teacher Mr. Park.

She’s heard from other students taking the class that it wasn’t easy and barely anyone was able to pass it with the minimum required grade and this piqued her interest seeing how the top 1 student would succumb to the pressure in order to ensure her replacement of your high title.

But she soon realized that she was the one rather falling behind as the marks on her papers kept decreasing slowly but surely. While, you were receiving 100 percents with ease and would even receive extra credit sometimes and she was aggravated by this it.

She completely lost it when she saw the 75 percent on her paper from the paired assignment. When she glanced over to you when you received your paper only to see how you had scored a whopping 104 percent, which she didn’t know was even possible.

People congratulated you (and Jake) for being the highest mark out of the entire student body taking the course. Your wide smile as you accepted the compliments infuriated her, she wanted to wipe that smile right off your face.

And so she decided to attack the root cause, as she found herself in front of the very professor’s office that she couldn’t seem to pass with high remarks. She was hesitant on knocking, never really speaking to her professor during class especially outside of it for anything, choosing to silently struggle. She was worried Mr. Park hadn’t even paid attention to her because he had you taking his course (especially being in the same class as her).

She was living in your shadow and she was growing tired of it. She wanted to be adored by everyone just like how you were and set the curve. And hopefully talking to Mr. Park will help her achieve the little stepping stone she needed in order to determine her victory against you.

She softly knocked before overthinking anymore as she waited for a moment and that’s when she finally heard a faint ‘come in’.

Now any living being would tell you Mr. Park was undeniably attractive that it was actually sickening that someone like him existed and was teaching as a professor. She was no exception, seeing him in white button up, his jacket covering over his body as his infamous clear glasses rested perfectly on his nose bridge set an unspeakable fire in her.

“Hello Mr. Park” Her voice was unknowingly becoming smaller as his harsh gaze met her nervous ones

How you were able to approach him with such ease while everyone else struggled blew her mind but she remembered no one else was receiving 100 plus marks in his class besides you so she quickly diminished that thought.

“Good evening, I don’t believe you’ve set up an appointment or may have I missed it? Let me double check, please sit down” Sunghoon motioned to the seat in front of his desk which she accepted, she couldn’t dare tell him that she didn’t make an appointment to meet with him

She looked around his office to see it neatly done to a T expected from her professor. Her eyes caught sight of a random chair in the corner of his office. She furrowed her eyebrows but Sunghoon’s quickly brought her attention back and away from the chair.

“I don’t seem to have you down for an appointment, if you wish to discuss anything with me. Please make an appointment beforehand with the link provided in your online syllabus” Sunghoon told before brining his attention back to his work in front of him

“W-wait M-Mr. Park. I really need to talk to you, it’s important” Sunghoon stopped and placed the papers down before sighing heavily, he normally doesn’t do this but he was in a good mood since you stopped by during his lunch break just because you wanted to see him so he let it slide this one time

“This will only a one time thing. I do not excuse carelessness, if you wish to speak make an appointment on the provided schedule” Sunghoon told before motioning her to speak and she was dumb founded, all rationality left her mind

Her mind reeled as she spoke the first thing that came to her head, “Do you work out Mr. Park?” She tried to put on her best sultry voice hoping it would achieve what she wanted

Sunghoon furrowed his eyebrows and stared at her, “Excuse me?”

“Seeing the 75 on the paired assignment made me so sad and I-I just wanted to let you know that I’m willing to do anything to change my grade” She pleaded helplessly hoping that he would give into her pleas to have her grade change

He knew he was a hypocrite for his next choice of words but he didn’t need anyone else, especially when he had you. “Please remove yourself my office and I will choose to ignore such requests” Sunghoon sighed realizing what she was trying to insinuate, this wasn’t the first time someone had tried to come to him to give him whatever he ‘wanted’ in exchange to get their grade up

She pouted harshly having been denied and Sunghoon almost showed his grimace at her pout, her pout wasn’t yours. But she wasn’t going to go down without a fight.

She made her way up from the chair and Sunghoon thought she was leaving but what he didn’t expect was her to suddenly turn around and walk over to his side of the desk and drop to her knees in front of him.

He jumped back in his chair as he adjusted himself as he stared at her in shock. “What are you doing?” Sunghoon asked and she looked up to him with an attempt of doe eyes and instead of feeling aroused like she had hoped, he felt sick

He wasn’t going to do anything with anyone else. He already you and he was never going to let that go.

She put her hair into a makeshift ponytail with her hands as she blinked her eyes innocently to him as she silently was offering herself. But Sunghoon looked away from her and motioned for her to stand up “Get up” Sunghoon’s authoritative tone made her weak in her knees and she thought that he was finally caving in to her

Yet, right when she was going to stand she heard a faint knock at his office door and Sunghoon immediately recognized that knock as yours. His heart rate jumped, he took a glance towards the clock to see that you were right on time for your ‘debriefings’ and he knew this scene looked completely wrong and he couldn’t possibly have you get any wrong idea.

But Sunghoon whipped his head when she saw her shuffling under his desk and he shook his head violently as she brought a finger to her lips to shush him but he wasn’t having any of it. “I am not going to repeat myself, get up” He warned which caused her let out a loud huff which didn’t go unnoticed by you on the other side of the door,

When she was going to place the faintest kiss on his knee through his pants, he jerked his leg away before she could do so. She sadly pouted before getting up from her previous position. She had mischievous smirk on her face, believing she had won in some type of way.

She grabbed her bag from the chair as she went over to the door and right before opening it, she send a playful wink towards her professor. “Thank you again Mr. Park” She spoke as opening the door and there she saw you standing innocent and oblivious to what was happening his Sunghoon’s office

Your eyes widen in shock seeing her leave Sunghoon’s office, you never once saw her here before let alone even speak to him during class.

Her smirk grew wider seeing you before holding her head high, discreetly wiping her lips with her fingers before happily greeting you.

“Oh? What you doing here?” She innocent raised an eyebrow almost as if mocking you

“Letter recommendation” You curtly responded which was a lie, you were here for the ‘debriefings’ you and Sunghoon always had but you don’t remember him telling you that he was going to be occupied beforehand

She smiled not saying anything else as she walked past you without a goodbye. You could feel and hear the silent screams she was giving you as she left you which all lead from the very startled professor that was now in front of you at the door.

You took in his appearance, he still looked like his formal self. Still neatly dressed from head to toe, his hair still intact but that didn’t ease the unsettling pain in your chest.

“How can I help you?” Sunghoon made room for you to enter his office, trying everything in his power to remain professional

You stopped your quivering lips as you shook your head, “Nothing, I thought I needed something but I don’t need it anymore” You emptily told before turning your heel and walking away from your professor

Sunghoon was stunned as this was the first time you never stayed for the debriefings and he could feel his heart squeeze as it settled in his mind everything was far from okay. His hands turned into fist in order to prevent himself from chasing after you, not caring who would see but he needed to remind himself that he was not your boyfriend. He was just your professor, someone that you were seeing that was hopelessly head over heels for you.

——

Now he expected for it to be a simple misunderstanding that he could clear up with a few messages and going over to yours. But every time he tried to even reach you, you dodged him like a plague and acted like he didn’t even exist. The daily talks and messages became shorter and shorter until you were leaving him on delivered for hours on end only to see his message and not even respond.

You stopped coming for ‘debriefings’ all together and it was if nothing had ever happened between the two of you and he was slowly losing himself the more time he went without you. He knew you ways he shouldn’t but he did, neither you or him could ever forget that no matter how hard you tried.

What starting driving him to insanity were times where he saw you leaving his class without a glance towards him a the old lingering gaze shared was long forgotten as it was replaced with you staring at Jake as you laughed and smiled at something he told you.

And he knew it was highly unprofessional of him to even think this but Sunghoon felt the urge every time to throw a punch at Jake anytime he saw you two together.

Sunghoon’s biggest fear was coming true, you leaving him when he was already in too deep. He knew he had to act quickly before it was too late and he lost the only thing that mattered in his life. He needed to bring you back to him.

——

It was the last day of the semester right before summer break and after finishing all finals (with the highest mark as always) and completing the finals assignments needed to ensure to leave the two terms with ease and remaining in your spot as the top student in the university.

You haven’t spoken much to Sunghoon during the past few leading up till this day. You knew it was rather childish on your part but something in your head told you that Sunghoon no longer needed you as he was seeming to be fulfilled by someone else that wasn’t you(even though he never forgot about you once, always making sure to send messages to you every morning and night just in case one day you decide to finally answer him).

As you and Jake were leaving Sunghoon’s last lecture, he was starting to ask you something, “So I was wondering if you would-“ but he was interrupted by the call of your name from Sunghoon who motioned for you to stay behind.

You were going to ignore him but your body had a mind of its own as you bid goodbye to Jake easily before discreetly taking a gulp as you hadn’t spoken properly to him and he was finally taking initiative in person.

‘I-I’ll wait for you outside!” Jake told and you gave a quick wave back before making your way over to Sunghoon’s desk and when it was finally just the two of you, Sunghoon’s dark chuckle rippled throughout the empty lecture hall

“Meet me in my office at the usual time” But before you could muster any type of response to avoid him, he motioned for you to stop, “I said meet me in my office, that is final” You should’ve said no but you were weak for him as sighed in defeated before muttered under your breath

“Why don’t you ask her to meet you in your office…” Sunghoon heard your muttered and his eyebrows furrowed and his lips twitched

“Because I need you in my office” Sunghoon told before lowering his voice to make sure you could only hear him, “Now be a good girl and listen” His voice sent shivers up your spine and you frowned before muttering a small ‘whatever’ before walking away

He smirked, pleased with your reaction as he was realizing you were jealousy, a possessive jealousy you had over him laid in his heart nicely.

——

You softly knocked on Sunghoon’s office door as you always used do and your expected hearing his usual ‘come in’. But you were surprised to see him see opening the door for you.

You stared at him in shock as he moved to make room for you to come in. You gulped and awkwardly stepped in as it finally sunk into your mind of how long it has been since you were last in Sunghoon’s office, let alone in his presence in uh a close proximity.

But your mind filled with a distraught thought of what you thought to have happened between Sunghoon and the girl during the time that you and Sunghoon weren’t personally seeing each other outside of his lectures.

You wanted to light the whole office on fire to destroy any residue that the girl could’ve possible left behind. You hated that she was inside such a sacred place to you and what you thought was for Sunghoon too.

“Why did you want to meet with me?” You were in no mood to mess around and quickly wanted to get whatever he wanted done and over with

You saw how Sunghoon closed the door and easily locked the door and you knew you were in for it. “I’ve missed you as simple as that” He truthfully told before taking strides towards you, “How come my baby has been ignoring me?“ Sunghoon brought down the cold demeanor he shows everyone besides you, only you were the only one to ever see this side, the down right bad side of Sunghoon for you

You closed your eyes and shifted your head not wanting his words to work on you. But when you felt Sunghoon’s frame from behind goosebumps filled your body as his breath fanned over the shell of your ear with his hands finding their way to your waist. “Well? Why have you been ignoring me?”

You shivered as his words cut through you and you bit your lip to prevent yourself from speaking but the way Sunghoon’s hands carefully ran up the side of your body, his breath filling your ears, you could feel yourself melting.

“You were with her, didn’t think you wanted me anymore” When Sunghoon heard your response he stopped the running of his hands and let out a scoff, how could you have possibly think that?

“Baby you’re all I ever want. I was never with her in the first place nor would I ever even think about having someone else when I have you” Sunghoon’s voice rippled in your head as you tried to finally understand what he’s been telling you from the start

“But she was in your office” You mumbled, “She wiped her lips in front of me like a mockery. She was setting her claim on you” You huffed out feeling the anger rise in you, remembering the moment that has been haunting you nonstop

“But you already made your claim on me”

“I can only hold one and I choose to hold yours” Sunghoon turned your body to fully face him and he saw how your eyes refused to meet his causing him to smile, he lifted your head up by your chin, “Baby I’m forever yours”

You finally looked to meet his eyes and you could see nothing but sincerity in them and you could feel the warmth melt into you. “You promise?” You murmured and he nodded his head

“I promise my whole life on it” You finally allowed yourself to indulge in the very thing you’ve been longing for ever since you deprived yourself of it, you grabbed his nape before bringing his lips to crash onto yours. All tension and unease melted away in the kiss and Sunghoon engulfed you in his arms as he held your body close to his

Your and his lips worked in synchronization like they were made for each other, Sunghoon tried to pour all of emotions into that kiss as it was soon growing sloppier by the minute. “What about Jake? Always saw him with you, I was losing my mind seeing the way you were smiling at him” He gasped in the kiss before moving to plant kisses onto your cheek and neck, you hummed feeling the sensation as you shook your head

“He’s just a friend, a mere distraction from you” You responded and you could feel the way Sunghoon’s grip tightened around you before chuckling against your skin

“A friend now huh? What else happened when you weren’t talking to me?” He asked, detaching himself from you to hold your hips in his hands, you could see the familiar glint in his eyes as he stared at you like a starved man

He brought his lips to whisper in your ear, “You let him fuck your used up pussy?” The degrading words made you clench around nothing and Sunghoon could feel the way you knees slightly buckled at his words

“I got you baby don’t worry” He assured you before attaching his mouth back onto your lips before sucking on your sweet spot causing you hands to tangle in his hair

“Never” You let out a breathless moan as you could feel how he nibbled on your sweet spot before soothing it by running his tongue over it

“Good girl” He gently guided your body to have your back pressed against his desk as his breath fanning yours as he rested his forehead on yours, “I missed you so much, you don’t even understand how much I did” Sunghoon tenderly held you as he softly recaptured your lips with his

You wrapped your arms around his neck as his hands rested on your hips, “Missed you too, so much” You spoke in the kiss causing your teeth to clash together as the kiss became desperate

Sunghoon broke away from the kiss to let himself softly play with the top of your pants, “Let me take care of you baby, need to show you just how important you are to me” You nodded your head with need, letting Sunghoon bring your pants and panties down all in one shot before guiding you to sit on his desk, discarding everything on it

When he caught sight of your glistening of your lips, he almost let out a groan before allowing his fingers to spread your lips apart, “So wet for me”

“H-hoonie” The nickname that was only reserved for you to use fell from your mouth as a moan

“Gonna show you that you’re all I ever need” Sunghoon told before looking into your eyes and letting his finger slipped past your slick and into you, you gasped and threw your head down.

“Always ready for whatever I give you. You’re such a good girl” He kissed the side of your face ad he pumped his finger slowly in and out of you

You whimpered as his finger alone sent you to heights that you never reached by yourself. “You’re being so good for me, you’re the best of the best. No one ever comes close to you” Sunghoon’s praises sent your heart afloat

Sunghoon slipped another finger into you and you could feel the stretch growing as you gripped his forearm, gasping loudly as he continued to move his fingers in and out of you seeing how you coated them beautifully.

He laid your body down on his desk, as he admired how finger disappeared in your hole in need. You let your head fall back onto the desk but you immediately shot your head up when you felt the contact of Sunghoon’s tongue on your clit.

Your hands unconsciously gripped on his hair as his fingers pumped out of you as his tongue flicked over your clit before giving kisses onto it. Your moans began to loudly fill the room

“Hoonie, Hoonie, Hoonie!” You chanted his name like a prayer as he continued to bring you only what he could make you feel, a wave of pleasure washed over you as you came, forcing Sunghoon’s fingers out of you as they were covered with your release

You panted heavily trying to come back from your high and Sunghoon adored the scene in front of him. He removed his glasses to softly place them onto your panting self. When you opened your eyes in confusion, you saw how he looked at you in pure awe. You looked so beautiful in his glasses, that he made a mental note to buy you a matching pair with his.

However, you couldn’t even ask him because your body jolted when Sunghoon’s mouth came to contact with your needy self as he moaned, tasting you your sweet venom that he could get lost in.

“The sweetest thing to ever exist” He blabbed against you as he sucked harshly and letting his tongue tease your gaping hole

Your hands found their way back into his hair as he sensually ate you out to savor you. The slurps were obscene on the ears but it felt like a paradise. Sunghoon placed your legs over his shoulders in order to burry his mouth deeper in you, as he kept lapping at your pussy.

His nose finally grazing your clit without his glasses interfering and the familiar build up in your stomach soon began to rise again.

He noticed how your hole clenched around his tongue and he smirked as he gripped onto your thighs to continue to eat you like a starved man. “Cum on my tongue baby” His soft voice of encouragement made you whine as you kept letting out breathless chants of his name

His nose continued to rub over your clit and he could tell you were getting closer as your hold on his hair tightened painfully but he didn’t mind.

You felt your second orgasm shoot through you and Sunghoon hummed happily as he continued to place kisses and licks across your soaked core as you rode out your high.

When he finally disconnected from you, a string of saliva connected from his lips to you caused him to give a foolish smile at the sight. You panted heavily unable to open your eyes from the amount of pleasure you were in, as your head was against the desk but you could feel it being raised by Sunghoon.

You lazily opened your eyes to see how from his nose down, he was completely covered in you. Sunghoon rose to his feet and lifted your weak body from the desk up and brought his covered lips onto you.

You could taste yourself on him and you slightly grimaced but Sunghoon’s hand prevented you from pulling away.

“You taste how good and sweet you are? I could get lost in you forever” Sunghoon spoke as you desperately kissed him back

The kiss lasted longer than what either of you had intended but it was able to showcase the hidden feelings that you were too afraid to admit.

You were the first to pull away as he chased after your lips causing you to chuckle softly before stopping him. He opened his eyes to look directly at you and you felt the harsh flutter in your chest.

“The prettiest girl to ever grace the earth” He honestly told and your cheeks flushed wildly at his words he planted a soft kiss against them

He unbuckled his belt to bring his pants down mid-thigh, just enough to have his cock spring out after being held in the confinement of his pants for so long.

Sunghoon carefully spread your legs apart for him and your pussy shined with your arousal and release as he noticed your hole clenched around nothing, begging to be filled.

He slotted himself between your legs as he smothered his tip leaking over yourself and you gasped feeling him and your mind became dizzy from the taste of his tip alone, “I’m going to take care of you, let me do all the work baby”

His cock lined up with your entrance as he teased the tip against your gaping hole to adjust you to his size and he noticed are you were desperately trying to sink him more into you, which caused him to pull back. “Come on baby, be the good girl you are and wait”

You bit back your lip to hold back your whimper but your mouth dropped feeling Sunghoon fill you in one deep thrust.

He groaned feeling your tightness even after he prepped you, “How is it that you’re always so tight?”

“B-Big” You let out in a breath and no matter how many times you tell him that, his ego will always skyrocket from it

“I know baby but you always take everything I give you. You can handle it” Sunghoon soothed you by rubbing your thigh, letting you get adjusted to his size

As your heavy breathing subsided and you gave a weak nod as his sign that he could move, he made sure to start off slowly and drag him in and out of you.

His deep thrust was calculated to be slow and sensual as he wanted you to have it engraved in your mind that you were the only one for him.

With his deep thrust he was able to hit your sweet spot every time and you were falling apart on his cock. He noticed the daze he was putting you in as he captured your lips.

The kiss was able to speak louder than any words ever spoken between the two of you. Sunghoon thrusts in you kept repeating in the same pace and you were softly whining against his lips.

“You’re absolutely perfect” He pulled away from you place his head against the crook of your neck, his pace slowly picking up but he made sure to hit your cervix every time

“H-Ho-Hoon” You let out a broken breath but Sunghoon whispered your ear that caused your heart to quicken in its beats

“Say my name. My actual name”

“Sunghoon”

The way you breathlessly called out his name, set fireworks off in his heart. The two of you knew this simple interaction was far too intimate for just professor and student who go on dates, kiss each other senseless, lay in each others arms talking about nonsense until late in the night, and simply two people who will always get lost in each other.

“I love you” From your hazy daze, you felt a bucket of cold water splash over you as your eyes popped open hearing Sunghoon’s confession, it was the three words neither of you dared to say but seemed to mutually share

Sunghoon’s thrust continued and the twitch inside of you made your clam down on him. “Come with me baby” His words were all you both needed as you both came together

His cum shooting deep inside you, as you coated his cock with your release. Your pleasures mixing together as it forced a white ring at the base of his cock. You whimpered as his slow thrust came to a stop as he stayed inside of you.

Both you and Sunghoon coming down from your high together as your sweat covered foreheads rested against each other as the two of you panted heavily before looking into each other’s eyes.

“My beautiful girl” The pure endearment of his words filled your already swollen heart

Sunghoon noticed even though it was faint, the moment of unease in your ease caused him to look at you with confusion. Your gaze avoided his as your mind filled with only one thought. What was now going to happen between you and him now that summer break was starting.

Will you continue to see each other after the moment shared or will the two of your take your words for granted and lose each other in the process?

“What are you thinking about baby?” He softly asked as you pulled away from your forehand to look at you as you still refused to look at him

“Look at me” He softly turned your head to face him properly as he noticed your glassy eyes, he felt his heart shatter at the scene before brining your body close to him.

He carefully creased his hand over your aching body as he remained still inside you and you shivered feeling the slightest movements inside of you. The two of you stayed in silence as he silently comforted you.

“Let’s get you cleaned up” He softly murmured as he could feel your mixed released trialing down your thigh that laid with his, you only nodded your head not trusting your voice to not break if you spoke

Sunghoon smiled daringly before carefully easing himself out of you and right when he did, more of the released gushed out of you. He chuckled at the scene before rubbing your thigh. “We made a mess” He joked causing you to finally let out a soft chuckle

As he grabbed tissues, he began to guide them over to clean you up, making sure to not miss a spot. And when his fingers rubbed over your sensitive self, you shivered as he whispered soft apologies placing butterfly kisses on it to help ease the overstimulation.

When you were all cleaned up, he grabbed your discarded panties and pants and your body too far sore and exhausted caused him to carefully guide them back onto you.

He quickly placed himself back in his pants and buckled his belt, allowing you to fully catch your breath without him crowding you.

When he noticed the daze look finally fading from your eyes, he carefully sat you upright before going to sit on his side of the desk. You turned your head confused to him but you let out a yelp when he brought you off his desk onto his lap.

He looked to you on his lap, creasing your face with such delicacy.

He pulled away to rummage through the first drawer of his desk until he finally found what he looking for. You could see the slight hesitate as his hands remained in his drawer, his eyes focused on the ticking clock in his office before finally pulling out an envelope.

You looked at him confused as he handed the envelope to you, ushering for you to open it. When you carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the paper in it, your hand almost dropped it in pure shock.

You read over the paper nonstop as you couldn’t believe what you were reading.

“Come to Italy with me” Your gaze moved from the bought plane tickets to Sunghoon who only stared at you with hopeful eyes

“I’m no longer your professor” Sunghoon motioned to the clock he was staring at before giving you the envelope that showed the time, 5pm, the university was officially closed for summer break.

“I meant it when I said I love you”

“And I finally want to properly be yours and make you mine” Sunghoon confessed the weight that laid on his heart as it finally lifted, he knew his feelings were risky, he was still a professor and you were still a student at the university just no longer each other’s as summer break started

Sunghoon knew he could likely get fired for this but if he had to choose between his job or you.

He would always choose you in a heartbeat. “Let’s spend our summer vacation in Italy together baby” You chuckled out a bright smile before hastily wrapping your arms around him nodding your head eagerly

“Yes, of course!” You agreed to his planned trip and Sunghoon held you tightly in return, pleased to know that he can finally properly make you his without a single worry

“Sunghoon” He hummed when he heard you faintly called out his name, “I love you too”

——

: I actually can’t believe you’re in Italy right now when you told me, your friend btw in case you forgot, that we were going to spend summer break rotting away together

: But instead, you’re soft launching your boyfriend that I didn’t even know existed until now, with his arm all wrapped around you as you show off the new tiffany & co. bracelet he got you

: I hope you know I am not forgiving you until you tell me who your mystery boyfriend is so you better fess up soon

You: :)

#enhypen #enhypen smut #enhypen x reader #park sunghoon #park sunghoon x reader #enhypen sunghoon #sunghoon smut #sunghoon x reader #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #enhypen fics #sunghoon x reader smut #kpop smut

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irndad · 21 days

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don't date coworkers- s.r.

a/n: i literally wrote this very fast and also i hope you like it pls go easy on me!!! reader has a policy they don't date coworkers. spencer is so angsty abt that !! also sorry for dropping a new fic at 2am LOL wc: 1.7k

She’s really, really good at talking to people.

It’s one of the many traits Spencer adores about her. She moves through crowds with ease, and she can charm her way into any piece of information from whatever city cop they need a favor from. She integrated into the team faster than anyone could’ve expected. This is a strength not all profilers have- they know what it takes to know what makes someone appealing, but rare is the ability to be as charismatic and charming as she is.

She’s good at talking to him.

She’s worked at the BAU for about a year now. 13 months, 7 days and 8 hours since she walked through the doors of the bullpen for the first time, beaming at him for the very first time. Give or take.

Spencer wouldn’t be surprised if everyone knew that he was in love with her. He’s halfway certain she does, and is being too polite to mention it. Normally, Spencer is incredibly regimented about boundaries. While the BAU is his family, and there’s no real way to deny that, he knows that he’s less than ideal to go out with. He’s stocky and he never cuts his hair (even though she swears it’s cute longer) and he’s an awkward guy- gangly and tall and just ill-fitting to be part of the scenery of her life.

It’s a Friday, and a rainy one at that. It’s one of the blessed ones where they don’t really have a case, just paperwork to catch up on, reports and her desk faces a window.

Normally, when Spencer gets his work done (a good four hours before everyone else on a paperwork-only day), he’d head out. Catch up on whatever Russian novel he’s been chipping away at- but she’s here, and he’s made her favorite tea.

“I thought you could use a treat,” he says, walking over to her desk. She looks up at him, brushing overgrown bangs, “It’s not really a great one, but I’ll get you some scones on the way to mine, yeah?”

She looks up at him, dropping her pen and focusing entire energy on him. He feels a bit overwhelmed, like an ant under a magnifying glass.

“Did you know that I adore you, Spence?”

He is very much not aware. No amount of her saying it will ever make him know. She takes a long sip from the mug. He knows how much honey she likes in it. He studies how she looks, eyes closed serenely, completely invested in what he’s given her.

“You’ll be taking her home, pretty boy?” Morgan snickers, in a not altogether unkind manner.

“Fuck off,” she says kindly, not taking her eyes off of Spencer as she rebuffed Morgan’s teasing.

“Easy, easy,” Morgan laughs, “I’ll leave your boyfriend alone.”

If she has anything to say to that, it doesn’t come out then.

He’s still bright red, though. Morgan is amused, and Spencer knows that she really, truly adores Morgan. Spencer loves him too, but it would be nice if he laid off the jokes.

She doesn’t date coworkers.

He knows this because of the first time they’d met, when he’d been walking in carrying a croissant for Garcia and a coffee for JJ, and saw what can only be described as a truly ridiculously beautiful woman in the bullpen.

She’d been leaned back, smiling openly as Morgan tossed some random pick-up line towards her. He remembers it now like he can still hear it, her lilting lovely voice carrying just the right amount of warmth to make this not sting, or at least sting as little as possible.

“I’m sorry, Derek,” she had said, “I make it a point not to date coworkers.”

Which of course is fine. She can date whoever she wants, and it’s a good policy to have personally. And Spencer’s never really be the kind of guy who excelled at getting dates. He knew from the first minute that he saw her that even if she didn’t think that way… well, it wouldn’t be him, who she picked.

Now, they are very close. So close that she drives him home from work every Friday. Which usually includes staying at his shitty apartment and watching VHS tapes of documentaries and Doctor Who.

He wants to kiss her every Friday. All, the time, really. It’s kind of plaguing him. Clearly, she likes hanging out with him. Something about him is appealing. It’s foolish to assume that it’s more than friends, especially for someone like him to be with someone like her.

She doesn’t date coworkers.

“I made sure the film tonight has subtitles!”

“Are you saying film because this film is foreign, Spence?”

“I promise it’s worth it!” He says excitedly, “And they’re really done well. You won’t have to have me whisper the translations to you in real time!”

“I didn’t mind that,” She laughs then, a real laugh, “but I’m glad we’re getting to hang out tonight.”

It’s funny- they’ve done this so, so many times, but he never stops being thrilled.

___________________________________

Sometimes, when the summer air is forgiving enough, they walk home from the office. She takes the train in, and they walk back to his place. Tonight is one of these nights, and god- she looks lovely. She’s tied her blazer around her waist, and the sunset hits her face in that gorgeous baroque painting kind of way.

“You’re very pretty,” he hears himself say before he can stop it. He’s endlessly pleased when she preens at the praise.

“You’re not so bad yourself, Doctor,” she says, shoving her hands into her pockets, a nervous gesture. He wants to hold those hand, intertwine her lovely delicate fingers with his bony wispy fingers.

“You’re being nice to me,” he says, looking down at his shoes. They’re stupid. He should wear loafers, or some other shoe that doesn’t make him like half-child half-geek.

“I’m being accurate, actually,” she says she bumps his shoulder.

She’d be a wonderful girlfriend. He lives in the world this can happen quite often, in his fantasy. She laughs at his jokes and tells him he’s kind, and good, and she means it. He’s lucky to have this much of her- more than anyone else on the team! Spencer knows he’s her favorite. The way she’s looking at him now, how she give-up her Fridays to spend with him, on his ratty couch, how she always listens. Whenever they're both on the jet and he falls asleep, he always wakes up with a blanket on him. She's so good at loving people.

Being her favorite on the team does not mean he’s in the running to be a boyfriend. But he’d fucking want to be. He’d be a good boyfriend. Spencer, he’s gone so far for her. He fantasizes about getting her flowers that have symbolic meaning.

“Are you okay, boy-genius?”

“I’m better than okay. Do you want popcorn?”

She wants popcorn. He sets the movie up, and she gets comfortable on his couch, curling up with his purple felt blanket, and his mind betrays him with unhelpful images of what it might look like if she was his, if this is what he came home to.

Don't picture welcome home kisses, or movie nights or being wanted. Don't.

It’s very, very hard to focus on the movie.

She’s touchy, with him. He’s not sure if it’s because she could never see him as her boyfriend, but he’s grateful as she leans her head on his. She smells like peonies. When the credits roll, they stay like that for minute- her head on his shoulder and one of her legs thrown over his.

He wonders, not for the first time, if she feels the same way about him. If things were just..different, then they’d be kissing under the haze of his TV right now, if he’d know what that chapstick she carries with her every day tastes like.

“Do you ever wonder what it’d be like if we met under different circumstances?” he says, once time passes and he speaks instead of thinking.

“Hmm?” She hummed, relaxed eyes flitting their gaze over to him.

“Like, at a bar or something.”

“But you hate bars.”

“That’s why I said or something!”

Her lip juts out adorably, “But then I wouldn’t get to see you in your element.”

“Yeah,” he sighs, resting his neck on the top of the cushion. The AC is a little too much in the room. He wonders if she’s cold. “But who knows. Maybe we’d date, or something.”

It’s the dumbest thing he’s ever fucking said. Both because it was a dumb way to say it, but because it was an advance. He feels white hot shame lick at his spine when he looks at her, and hears her laugh.

“I don’t think so, Spence.”

“No,” shitshitshit, “I didn’t mean-“

“I mean, if you don’t want to date me now, I don’t think meeting at like, Whole Foods would’ve been the difference maker.”

It’s then he hears it- the piece he couldn’t place in her voice, when she gets like this. It’s being resigned.

“What are you talking about?”

“C’mon, Spence,” she says, another bitter chuckle coming through, “You know how I feel. I haven’t exactly beens subtle.”

“But you don’t date coworkers. You have a rule.”

She looks at him with no recognition of what he’s saying.

“No, because you told Morgan that, it’s the first thing I ever heard you say.”

“Yeah, but-“

“And yes, okay, you’ve been my favorite person almost as long as I’ve known you and yes, I would fucking love for you to be my girlfriend, but that was your rule!”

“You want me to be your girlfriend?”

“Obviously!”

He doesn’t get the chance to say anything else before, well- before she’s kissing him. More aggressive than that, really. Crawled onto his lap, arms around his neck, and where she leads Spencer is all too happy to follow. His body is not great at moving on instinct, but his whole nervous system feels alive- the weight of her in his lap, the feel of her waist under his fingers, the way he’s allowed this. It feels like such a pleasure, hedonistic in a way he’s never, ever been allowed to experience.

“You had a rule,” he says dumbly when she pulls away. His lips are wet. He’d like to go back to kissing, thank you very much.

“You’re the exception, to every rule, Spencer.”

When he kisses her again (which he’s allowed to do now, holy fuck) Spencer decides he’s going to spend the rest of all time earning that status.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x fem!reader #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader

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monzabee · 2 months

Text

the smallest man who ever lived - cl16

masterlist || part 2 || part 3 ||

Summary: The one where you’re thrown into a conundrum when you learn the news of your husband, Charles’, infidelity.

Pairing: charles leclerc x wife!reader; carlos sainz x reader

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings: angst, cheating, crying, manipulation(?), charles is an absolute asshole (but so is the reader) (but she’s kinda also badass?) (toxic relationship?), even more assholish carlos (gasp), blackmail, mention of pregnancy, mention of sex and sexual acts, physical confrontation (literally just pushing someone off but still)

Request: “Hey girl can I request something angsty with Charles? Maybe Charles cheating on Y/N (we’re already famous and have been married to Charles for years) and the fighting, the finding out, his guilt, angst, etc.”

Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! thank you to the anon who requested this because i had the time of my life working on it, and it might be the first fic i wrote in one go for the last six months or so!! also thank you to the getting cheated on playlists i found on spotify and amy dunne for giving me the inspiration to make the reader as toxic as i could. special thanks to @norrisleclercf1 and @percervall who had to listen to me talk about this fic NONSTOP. this is definitely something very different to what i usually write, but i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.

There are moments in life where you feel like a complete and utter idiot. Although it could be for no apparent reason at all, there is a perfectly explainable reason why you feel like that right now, in the middle of your trailer on the set, with your manager and publicist both looking at you like you could explode at any given moment. It took you a good amount of time to wrap your head around the news, the news that wrecked you into a million of pieces which left you as the only person who can put them back together.

“Let me get this straight,” you start, still trying to wrap your head around the news, “they were photographed leaving the club, and there’s a–?”

“Sex tape, yes.” Your manager mumbles, earning himself a side-eye from your publicist. “It was so kindly attached to the email.”

“And it is anonymous?” You ask, earning curt nods from both. “Well,” you manage to get out, pressing your lips together not to let out a sob, or a laugh, both? “That is very ambitious of him.”

Your publicist shares a concerned look with your manager, then turns to you, “I guess so? How would you want us to handle this? I can buy us some time until these are released to public, but I think getting a statement ready just in case is essential given the fact that both of you are public figues. We can say that you’ll attend marriage councelling–”

Your loud laugter cuts her off in the middle of her sentence. “And just why would we do that?”

“I–” She gives you another concerned look as she softens her voice, which is quite uncharacteristic for her, you realise. “How would you want us to approach it then?”

“I don’t want you to approach it at all.” You voice cuts through the tension, your gaze fixed on her. “I’ll handle it.”

“But Charles–” She tries to reason, but you cut her off again.

“Decided to get his dick wet where it certainly didn’t belong, he’s a big boy – he’ll survive.” Fixing her with a final look, you turn to your manager instead. “I don’t want this going to Charles or his team’s ears, that’s what the email said, and we should honour it, no?”

His expression turns into a smirk, matching the one playing on your lips as he nods in thougt, “Would you like us to do anything else? We can talk with the production if you need a couple of days to… well, recuperate. Greta would understand.”

“No.” Your answer is final as you shake your head. “She thinks this is an Oscar worthy project, I’m not throwing it away because my husband decided to think with his dick and not his brain. Just call my lawyers and tell them to be on stand by.”

“Should I also book you tickets to Monaco still?” He asks in a monotone tone.

“Well of course,” you reply in a sweet voice, widening your eyes for dramatic effect, “it’s a family event.”

Your publicist eyes the both of you, “Okay,” as she drags the word out, “are you sure you don’t want to take a couple of days off?”

“Positive. I have an EGOT to win.” Raising the script you have in your hands in the air, you announce, “I have lines I need to go over, is that all?”

And as they leave your trailer to give you some space to ‘go over your lines’, you let a few tears escape your eyes, promising yourself that you would make Charles feel a thousand worse what he made you feel in the moment.

It is not surprising or a sudden revelation that Monte Carlo has good weather all year around. But as it happens with the last few weeks following you learning about your husband’s infidelity, all you feel is cold – and no amount of warm weather is enough to make your heart feel warmer again. As you stand at the terrace of Café de Paris, overlooking the cityscape of Monte Carlo, all you can think about is how you just want to get this part of you plan over with as fast as possible.

“Chérie!” The voice you hear makes a lump perpetually situate itself in the middle of your throat, but you brace yourself for the worst as you turn on your heels to face the person you’re most scared of facing in this whole situation. “Look at you, you look incroyable! You had me scared when you told me you were catching the redeye, and that we just had to talk!”

“Pascale,” you breathe out as the woman pulls you into her arms with the warmness of any mother would do, and for that brief moment, you feel better than you have in weeks. “It’s so nice to see you again,” giving her the warmest smile you can muster up in the circumstances as you pull back, fixing your gaze at the figure behind her as you nod your head in acknowledgement, “Arthur.”

“Maman is right,” Arthur says as he opens his arms, “you do look good.”

“Well, thank you.” You reply as you give him a quick hug, and motion the table as you pull back. “Shall we?” Call it common curtesy, or cowardice, the fact that you don’t directly get to the point. Either way, you talk about what you’ve missed in the couple of months in which you’ve been away filming. You’re not necessarily paying attention, though the endtail of Pascale’s sentence catch your attention. “Excuse me, can you repeat that?”

“Well, I was just telling how sad I was that Charles doesn’t come home as often this season. Though I understand he’s coming out to see you on set, distance can be so hard even for–”

“He’s not coming out to see me, Pascale.” You voice is softer, and appears more broken than you would want it to be, but your words convey the message enough. It takes you a couple of moments to organise your thoughts, and Arthur calling out your name, to get you back into the moment. “There’s something I need to talk with the both of you, something I’ve already talked with Lorenzo, but I thought it would be better for you to hear it from me.”

“Okay?” Arthur mumbles, then gives you a supportive smile, “You can tell us anything. Though don’t tell me I’m about to be an uncle because I don’t think my ego can take it at the–”

You attempt to swallow the lump in your throat as you direct your words to the woman sitting across from you. “I’m divorcing your son, and I thought you should hear it from me and not him.”

It takes a few minutes for both Pascale and Arthur to say something, and it concerns you that you somehow managed to give your mother in law a brain aneurism, but eventually, she manages to get out, “What? How? Why? Are you okay?”

“I’m… fine.” You reply, albeit it comes off calculated. “I found a couple of weeks ago that he was cheating on me, I’ve came back to give him the papers myself.”

“He what?” Arthur exclaims, then realises the level of his voice, and lowers it down as he asks, “Are you sure this is not a misunderstanding? The guy has been in love with you for over a decade, he wouldn’t do this.” With a resigning sigh, you find what you’re looking for in your phone and hand it over to Arthur. Who then, upon seeing what you have pulled up, immediately hands it back to you and turns to his mother, “Trust me you don’t want to see it.”

“I’ve came to tell you the news, and well, to apologise.” You turn to face Pascale again.

“Apologise?” She repeats, “Why on earth would you apologise to me when my son cheated on you?”

“You’ve been nothing but kind to me ever since we’ve met, both of you.” You acknowledge Arthur with a look, and then focus your attention back on the woman, “Though I will make sure you don’t get caught in the crossfire in any way, I wanted to apologise for what I’m about to put your son through.”

You honestly don’t know how you manage to act as if everything has been going fine in your life during race day. Given the fact that your husband doesn’t expect you to be at his race due to your rigorous filming schedule, and his family members being willing to hide your existence from him, you have no obstacles in your way to carry out the rest of your plan in motion. Which is exactly why you’re sat in the dark, waiting for your husband to walk through the doors of your apartment overlooking the city. With you seemingly being absent for the weekend, he has no reason to not believe that he is coming to an empty house.

So, imagine his surprise when he enters his home; with his girlfriend in his arm, no less, and sees his wife sitting on the couch with her legs crossed and a drink in her hand. The look on his face is priceless, and despite all the pain and frustration you’re feeling, it manages to bring you some semblance of joy, knowing that it’s going to hurt him just as much as it hurt you.

“Ma chérie,” Charles stammers, eye wide as he looks at you like a deer caught in headlights, “I – I didn’t know y–you were coming back this weekend.”

“Well obviously,” you scoff, taking a generous sip from the drink in the glass tumbler in your hand, “otherwise you wouldn’t bring your little girlfriend into my house to fuck her.” You hear a gasp from the scaredy brunette wedging herself closer to your husband’s side, and for the first time you take a good look at her – young, much younger than you, tall, leggy; all the telltale signs that she is exactly your husband’s type. Tilting your head to the side, you rest the glass on the arm of the armchair you’re sitting in, “If you could leave now, I would greatly appreciate it.”

You hear Charles whisper something in her ear, probably telling her to leave and that he’ll contact her tomorrow, and watch as she gives him a scowl, screeching, “You’re just going to let her throw me out?”

“Well, considering the fact that this is my house, yes.” You give her a look of pity, watching her face light up with anger.

“Listen to me, you bitch–” She starts, but your husband quickly cuts her off.

“Mon cœur!” He exclaims, “S'il te plaît!”

“Yes, listen to him, like a good little girl,” you egg her on, a smirk widening on your lips as you start swinging the leg resting on your lower one, choosing to focus on your nails instead of your husband trying to soothe his lover.

You hear her scoff, take a few steps as her heels click on the marble floor of the entrance, “I wouldn’t be so calm if I were you, I’m not someone you want to be on bad terms with, considering the fact that he’s going to leave you for me!”

“Oh, honey,” you coo, focusing your attention back on her and seeing the look of concern in your husband’s face through the corner of your eye, “and when did he tell you that, like a year ago? Two? Three?” A realisation dawns on her face as the smug expression starts to fade. “Don’t worry, though, you can have him when I’m done with him.” Pushing yourself off the armchair, you down the rest of the drink in the glass before slamming it down onto the glass coffee table. “And not only do I not care if you think I'm a bitch, but I hugely prefer it. Now get the fuck out of my house before I call security and get your ass thrown out.”

You watch as she looks at Charles with indignation, lets out another screeching sound and slams the door behind her as she stomps out of your apartment. Only then you turn your gaze back to your husband, who has the guts to look at you with a worried look on his face. “How long have you known?” Is the first thing he asks you, taking a few steps closer.

“A couple of weeks, a month, maybe?” You answer him, leaving your place to get to the small bar in the corner of your living room to get another refill of your drink. “There’s a video of the two, it somehow got into my hands, and it has very graphic details of the two of you having sex.” Popping a lemon into your cup, you make your way back to the armchair and sit down, “Are you stupid enough to cheat on me and make a fucking sex tape, Charles?”

“I-I didn’t mean to–” He tries to plead, but you cut him off with a shake of your head.

“You didn’t mean to what?” You ask him; your voice soothing, almost understanding, and it does the job of fooling him. “Cheat on me? Fuck another woman in my bed? Break the vows you’ve made?”

“Ma chérie,” he whispers, “please.”

“No.” Your voice is colder all of a sudden. “Tell me how long this has been going on for. Was I right? How many years?”

“It started five years ago,” his voice is soft, somber and he tries to appear as genuine as he can in the situation, you suppose, “but I knew her, from before...”

“Before what?” You’re seething now, the complete opposite of his calmness, “Did you fucking cheat me when we were dating, Charles?”

“Ma chérie,” he gives you another pleading look, “please, I can change. I’ll go to therapy.”

Now that, manages to get a bark of laughter from you. It’s ripped from the back of your throat, making you throw your head back as you lose yourself in the laughter to the point that there are tears in your eyes when you finally manage to calm yourself down. Putting the glass down on the coffee table once again, you wipe them off, mindful of your mascara, as you shift your attention back onto your husband. “Are fucking kidding me right now?” He gives you a concerned look, hands on his hips as he opens his mouth to answer you, but you quickly shut him down again. “You were bringing her into my house to fuck her, I caught you, I have your fucking sex tape – which is going to be streamlined for the world to see within twenty-four hours, do you honestly think I would go back to you?”

“Wait, what?” He exclaims, looking at you with wide eyes and a shocked expression. “What do you mean they are going to streamline it, why didn’t you go to the lawyers?

“I did go to the lawyers,” you shrug, innocently, “my lawyers,” you point out. “Why would I cover up your mistakes after everything you’ve done?”

“Because I’m your fucking husband!” He barks, his arms widening to his sides as he finally loses his mask and his composure.

His little tantrum only makes you let out another laugh, “Now, you’re my husband? Not when you’re cheating on me when I’m away shooting, but when you need me to clean up after your mistakes?”

“How did you even get the video?” He asks, eyes narrowing down, “Who- who– who?”

“Who? Who? Hoo? What are you, a fucking owl?” You exclaim, this time raising your voice. “You’re honestly more concerned about where I got it and not about the fact that the entire world is about to see you fucking someone other than your wife?”

“What are we doing to do?” He asks, “Fuck, I have a race tomorrow.”

“We’re not going to do anything.” You shrug, leaning forward to grab the glass and take another sip, “Or scratch that, we’re actually going to do something.” You stand up from the armchair, walk towards the table and hand him the file. “Congratulations, we’re getting a divorce.”

“That is not happening.” He scoffs, not even bothering to look at the papers.

“I don’t think you’re in the position to bargain with me, Charles.” You seethe, “You’re going to sign the damn papers, and you’re also going to sign away your rights to the baby.”

“What the–?” He looks at you in disbelief, “You’re pregnant?”

“Congratulations, it’s a boy.” You bite out, “Like you wanted.”

“You’ve been drinking the entire night.” He points to the glass, “Do you expect me to believe you’re pregnant?”

Offering him a sweet smile you hand him the glass, tipping it towards him, “It’s soda water, would you like a sip?”

“Don’t make me do this,” he pleads, “give me another chance.”

“I would’ve, if you were honest with me from the start.” You resign, a sincere look in your eyes. “I’ll give you a choice: us, or her.”

He rears back with the offer, looking at you in disbelief. “What?”

“You either choose me and the baby or you choose to be with her, and in that case, I will never let you near my baby, Charles.” You shake your head, wrapping your arms around your stomach protectively.

For a second, his eyes linger around your stomach. But you know his choice when he meets your eyes again.

“What have we done to each other?” He whispers, and you can barely see the tears in his eyes.

“We didn’t do anything, Charles. I gave up everything for you, but you just took me for granted.” Walking back to the dining table, you grab your coat and bag, and when you come face to face with him again, your voice is soft despite all the anger you still feel towards him. “You, Charles Leclerc, are truly the smallest man who ever lived.”

The hotel lobby is calm and empty as you sit at the bar, and it’s surprising when you consider that fact that it is the weekend of the Monaco Grand Prix, meaning that there must be hundreds and thousands of motorsports fans visiting. Not that you’re complaining about the silence, of course. After the night you’ve had, silence and calmness are all you could ask for.

“I’ll get a whiskey, please, whatever top shelf stuff you’ve got.” A voice cuts through the moment you are having, and you instantly recognise the distinct accent of the stranger sitting next to you. “Thought you were in the States, finishing off filming.” This time, the comment is directed to you, and you roll your eyes as you push the empty glass towards the bartender on duty.

With a sigh, you turn to the man on your right, “What do you want, Carlos?” Your voice conveys your lack of energy, and Carlos is not dumb enough not to notice the dark circles under your eyes beneath your makeup.

“I came to check on you.” Is his answer. Simple, curt and to the point. You’d certainly appreciate it more if you had the patience for his antics.

“Well, you did, have a good night.” Slamming down a hundred-Euro bill onto the counter, you make a move to get up from your place, but a gentle hand on your wrist stops you. “Let me go.”

Though there is no venom to your voice, Carlos knows that it is not the time, nor the place, to test your patience. “I’m sorry,” he starts and when you take a good look at him, you can tell that he’s being sincere, “I really did want to check up on you, and considering the fact that you have a perfectly good penthouse but instead in a hotel, I think I was right to do so.”

Crossing your arms across your chest as you get back onto the barstool with a huff, you glare at him lightheartedly, “I didn’t want to stay in the same house as him,” raising your eyebrows, you continue with a lower voice, “thanks to [email protected], but I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.” The way his cheeks redden under the dim lights of the lobby bar would make you chuckle under normal circumstances, but you push the thought aside, “Honestly, what were you thinking? You’re lucky it was me who realised it was you, if it was my agent or publicist, we’d have another scandal to deal with.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he brushes you off with a swat of his hand, “I’m sorry I put you into that position.”

“Don’t be,” you mumble, tilting your head to the side, “I wouldn’t have known if you hadn’t sent me the video. Just tell me why you did it.”

“What?” He turns you with a confused look on his face.

“Why, Carlos?” You ask, voice encouraging yet soft, “Why did you send it? Why now?”

He keeps quiet for a while, not answering your questions but not taking his gaze off you either. Eventually, he exhales a deep sigh as he gives you a sheepish shrug, “I didn’t like the way he treated you. And I didn’t want to make you worry about it without concrete proof, so I guess everything just... worked out.”

“Huh,” you let out a small hum in agreement, “I guess you’re right.”

Expecting more than the words you chose to answer him with, he raises an eyebrow as he takes a big gulp of whiskey from his glass. “That’s it?”

“Well, what more is it there to say?” You ask, sheepishly shrugging. “We’re getting a divorce; he’s going to move out and I’m gonna make sure the entire world knows just why.”

Carlos flags down the bartender as he mumbles, “I feel like you need a stronger drink if we’re going to talk about your impending divorce, cariño.”

Taking a deep breath and exhaling an even deeper sigh, you shake your head. “I can’t.” Thank God Carlos is one of the people who is the proud owner of a braincell around you, because he catches your insinuation quickly.

With widened eyes, he quickly turns towards you, eyes softening as you offer him a sad smile. “Dios mío,” he murmurs, eyes running over you worriedly, “are you okay?”

“Well... no.” You let out an unexpected laugh at his expression, patting him on the shoulder lightheartedly. “I’ll be fine, Carlos, I’m a big girl. I can handle this.”

“I know you will,” he assures you, “but does Charles know?”

Now that manages to bring a grimace to your face. “He signed his parental rights away along with the divorce papers.” The look he gives you after hearing your words has you worried that his eyes are going to pop out of their sockets, but you try to calm him down as best as you can. “Carlos, it’s fine.”

“It’s most certainly not!” He exclaims, his voice echoing in the almost empty hotel lobby. “Is he out of his mind?”

You give him an awkward smile and another shrug of your shoulders. "I... feel like whatever I’m going to say is going to be wrong. So... yes?”

“Cariño,” he says, exasperated, “how are you so normal about this?”

“Lots of women raise their kids as single mothers while working, Carlos.” Your expression quickly taking the form of a frown, “I can handle this, I don’t need Charles or anyone else to hold my hand and tell me I’m doing such a good job.”

“I know you can do this alone, tonta,” he rolls his eyes as the endearment making you roll your eyes, “but you’re not going to be alone. Because I’m here.” There’s a certain finality to his words. And just as you’re about to object to his words, he quickly shuts you down. “I know you can do this on your own, but you don’t have to, okay? I’m going to be with you every step of the way.”

“What if I need waffles in the middle of the night?” You ask, your eyebrow raised in a skeptical way.

“I’ll adjust my pancake recipe.” His reply his immediate, and he shrugs lightly as he adds, “Pancakes are better, anyway.”

Rolling your eyes you continue, “What if I need someone to hold my hand in the delivery room? It can get quite gruesome, you know?”

He provides you with another nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. “I’ve never really been affected by it.”

“Okay, this is ridiculous, Carlos!” You exclaim, pushing yourself off your seat as you turn your body to face him. “I don’t need you to bail me out, I don’t need your help!”

“I know you don’t,” he nods.

“I am capable of doing this on my own!” You shriek, and the fact that your face is starting to get progressively redder worries Carlos.

“I know you are, but–” he tries to reason.

“No buts! I’m going to be a good mother, okay?” You point an accusatory finger towards him. “I’m going to choose him!”

The way your voice breaks at the end of your sentence has Carlos instinctively pull you into his arms, which is not that hard given the fact that you are almost the same height as him as you stand in front of the bar stool he’s sitting on, and he doesn’t say a word as you sob into his chest – letting out all the emotion you’ve bottled up over the past few weeks, no less. He doesn’t you offer you empty promises or tries to soothe you with cliché phrases. Instead, he stands still, holding you between his arms as you sob continuously into his chest. Giving the bar tender an awkward smile over your shoulder, he hands him his card to close out your tabs.

He only starts talking again once you’ve pulled away and trying to wipe the remnants of your tears from under your eyes. “Do you feel better now?” He asks, handing you a napkin.

“Yeah,” you mumble, sniffing as you play with the corners of the napkin. Then, you flip your eyes toward his, and fix him with a glare. “You are not becoming my kid’s stepdad.”

“Of course not, cariño,” he assures you, “I’ll be the dad that stepped up instead.”

You let out a teary chuckle as you slap him lightly on his chest. “I’m serious, Carlos.”

“So am I.” He replies softly, and you can see the genuine look on his face. “You’re not alone anymore, I’m choosing you.” Tentatively, he presses his hand softly against your stomach as he maintains your gaze. “Both of you.”

And though the last thing you want is a promise, this one seems like a real one. So, you let yourself believe that he might just keep it up.

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