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resident-gay-bitch · 1 year

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Missin’ You Big Boy

summary: Eddies always had a thing for Steve, ever since he laid eyes on the pretty haired boy. and after their first year of highs chool together, Eddie jokes about them missing each other. as the years go on, the joke only continues, how could he not after seeing the way Steve gets all giddy and flustered. it was, quite frankly, adorable. and then Steve graduates, and the next time they see each other (after Eddies wanted for murder) they realised they missed each other more than ever.

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of blood, a whole lot of crying, blood, adorable steddie content, super gay, fuck Tommy Hagan, be ready to cry.

Eddie always thought Steve was pretty, ever since he first laid eyes on him in the middle school talent show. Eddie was up on stage with Corroded Coffin rehearsing, and Steve was sitting front row, talking to the music director about an assignment. He had no interest in the talent show, or what was going on with the loud, obscene music onstage, but Eddie found himself staring anyway. It wasn’t as if Eddie didn’t understand why he looked at Steve the way he did, he’d always had a strange sort of attraction to boys, the magazines he kept hidden under his bed were proof of that. But Eddie hated that he was staring, because deep down he knew that Steve would never stare at him. Hell, he didn’t even notice Eddie screaming into the microphone shredding his guitar right in front of him.

But what Eddie didn’t know, is that he did notice. He just forced himself not to.

In Eddie’s freshman year, he hated himself for missing Steve. He wasn’t able to brush past him in the halls, or smile at him from across the cafeteria, and he certainly would never get the opportunity to awkwardly say hi��if they ‘accidently’ bumped into one another. But Steve was glad Eddie was on another campus, he wouldn’t be so distracted anymore. It gave him more time to focus on the important things… like girls.

Then the summer rolled around, and Eddie found himself missing Steve. He hated swimming, that was a sure thing, but he spent a large part of the summer at the public pool, just praying Steve would show up with his friends. Eddie knew he was a swimmer. But he hardly showed up, Eddie didn’t know Steve had his own pool. Plus, the times he did show up, Eddie would just sit there and gawk. Next time, he’d tell himself, next time I’ll talk to him. Yeah, he never talked to him. Steve barely even noticed Eddie at the pool, he was always too focused on the girl that had dragged him there, the girl he wasn’t allowed to take over to his house for a swim.

Then, on the first day of Steve’s freshman year, and Eddie’s junior year, their lockers were assigned across from each other. Directly. If Eddie stood with his back up against his locker (which he did a lot), he would get a perfect view of Steve standing in his, pulling out his books, fixing up his hair… his ass. One random Tuesday afternoon, before lunch, in the first term, Eddie was once again leaning up against his locker, talking to Gareth. Then Steve approaches his locker, a stressed out flustered mess, and Eddie stares. He watches, not listening to a thing his friend is saying as Steve tosses his books inside and makes a mess, grabbing his new ones before slamming the door shut and hitting it. And Eddie finally got the courage to speak.

“You alright there, Harrington?”

He spun around quickly, his hair bouncing in that cute little way that always made Eddie’s insides squirm, and he forced a smile, acting like everything was okay, “Uh, yeah….” he nodded.

Gareth pulled a confused face, “Why are you talking to him?” He whispered, and Eddie brushed him away.

“You sure? You look like someone pissed in your cheerios this morning or something.”

Steve laughed, he actually laughed, and Eddie thought he died right there.

“Uh, yeah.” Steve nodded again, “Just, Ms O’Donnel gave me a C on the group assignment we just did… well, the one I did all the work on… everyone else in the group got a B.”

Eddie nervously bit his lip, pushing his back off the locker so he was standing normally, still on the other side of the hall, “Yeah, she’ll ah, she’s a bit of a bitch.”

Steve smiled, huffing a little laugh through his nose, Eddie blushed, “She is such a bitch.”

“I’m sure she’ll warm up to you, Harrington.” Eddie smiled, eyes quickly dropping to the ground, “Unlike me you actually have some likeable qualities.” Yeah, that got an even more confused look from Gareth.

“You think?” Steve shuffled a little closer.

“Yeah,” Eddie smiled, taking a few steps closer himself, he reached a hand out and waived it around Steve’s head, “You actually have a decent haircut for one.”

Steve laughed, “I don’t see anything wrong with your’s, Munson.”

Eddie knew he was lying, it was in that awkward stage after a buzzcut, and he was trying to grow it long. He looked like an even bigger dork than usual. But something about the way Steve said it, it sounded genuine, a little compassionate, and Eddie blushed a little.

“Bullshit.” He smiled, “And, hey, you’re not a massive nerd, that’s a quality she likes, apparently. And I’m sure you’re not the type of guy to randomly interrupt the class out of pure boredom… something she loves a lot, I have found. The reason why I am definitely her least favourite student.”

Steve nodded slowly, his eyes taking in the little blush of red on Eddie’s cheeks, his little smile, the way the lines creased around his eyes… no. He’d just gone a whole year without thinking of this boy for whatever fucking reason, it could not start again. He would not let it. Eddie felt a little awkward in the silence, so he cleared his throat.

“No but really, I’m sure you’ll be fine.” He nodded, putting on his most manly demeanour he could muster.

Steve snapped out of his trance, “Yeah, okay…” He smiled.

“Move it, Freak!” Some random jock shoved Eddie’s back, “Quit standing in the middle of the hallway!” He stumbled into Steve.

Eddie was quick to step away, but not before the strong scent of Steve’s cologne, and hairspray, was stuck in his mind.

“Sorry.” He muttered.

Steve looked at him, and then at the older jocks that were walking away, overly proud of themselves, “Don’t be.” Steve shook his head, “That was an asshole move.”

Eddie nodded, “Yeah. I’m used to it though.”

“You shouldn’t be.” Steve smiled.

“Yeah well, it's how it is… the Freaks are always gonna be treated like shit, gotta get used to it.”

Steve nodded slowly, he didn’t really know how to sympathise with Eddie, but maybe a joke would cheer him up?

“I don’t think you’re a freak…” Steve smirked, “Maybe you look a bit like one with that haircut–”

“Fuck off.” Eddie laughed, covering his face with one hand.

Steve laughed, almost dropping his books, and Eddie was quick to reach a hand out and help him, accidentally grabbing onto Steve’s hand instead. Both of them froze. Eddie quickly pulled his hand away and cleared his throat. How the fuck was Steve’s hand so soft? And Steve just didn’t understand why his stomach flipped over when he felt Eddie’s calloused fingers tracing over his skin.

“Uhm,” Steve cleared his throat, “I should get going.”

“Right.” Eddie nodded, taking a small step back, “Right, yeah. Okay.” Fuck, he really fucked up.

“Thank you.” Steve simply said, but it made Eddie’s heart race.

“Thank me?”

“Yeah… for cheering me up a bit.” Steve nodded, awkwardly turning, “I’ll– I’ll see you round, Freak.” There was a soft smile on his lips.

Eddie blushed, a wide grin spreading across his face, “Yeah, see ya round, Harrington. Don’t miss me too much.”

“Promise I won’t.” Steve called out, a little laugh rolling off his tongue, and he rounded the corner.

Eddie just stared at the space Steve once occupied, his heart racing a million miles per hour, face cherry red, hands clammy. Dear Ozzy, he was fucked.

“Dude,” Gareth slapped a hand over Eddie’s shoulder, laughing to himself, “Harringtons the guy you’re into?”

Eddie turned to him, hairs standing on end, “You knew it was a guy?”

Gareth glared up at him, an eyebrow raised and he shook his head, “You literally have a poster of Bret Michaels shirtless on your wall.”

“Oh.”

“Oh,” Gareth laughed and shook his head, “your totally fucked man, no way is Harrington into dudes.”

“You don’t have to fuckin tell me twice.” Eddie slapped his hands over his face and groaned.

——————————————————————————

Eddie thought about that random Tuesday a lot. He couldn’t get Steve out of his head. But he was glad it happened, because they talked every day now. Every time they saw each other at their lockers, they would share a sweet little hello, sometimes in the morning they would stop and ask each other about the previous night, sometimes they would talk about classes. They would often bitch about O’Donnel. It pained him whenever a pretty girl would lean on the locker beside Steve, and flirt with him, bat her eyes, suggestively suck on a lollipop, and Steve would always eat it up. It hurt the most when Steve would wrap his arm around her, or even kiss her… right in front of Eddie. It’s not like Eddie had a right to get upset, or jealous, or anything else, but he always did. But none of that stuff ever stopped Eddie for falling head over heels for the perfect hair and polo shirts that Steve always sported. Eddie would flirt more, and more with him, and he always ended the conversation with a variation of ‘don’t miss me too much’, and Steve always shook his head and rolled his eyes and smiled before walking away. But the thing Eddie liked the most, was just how kind Steve really was. He had such a big heart, and he always had a smile for Eddie, and he always, always told Eddie that those assholes that called him a freak were nothing more than that… assholes, and that Eddie was more than just a silly little label the town had pinned on him. It was almost like his kindness was too good to be true.

And then it was too good to be true. Because Eddie’s sophomore year rolled around, and Steve’s locker wasn’t across from his anymore, it was on the other side of the campus. There were no more sweet good mornings, or goodbyes, or random little hellos. There were no more O’Donnel slander sessions. No more anything. Anytime Eddie saw Steve in the halls in those first few weeks, he would smile and wave, he’d even go to approach him for some light conversation. But Every time Steve just turned his head away, ignoring him, pushing him away. And it hurt Eddie more than it should have. Then, the first basketball game of the season, it was Steve’s first game where he wasn’t benched, and Eddie wouldn’t miss it for the world. So, he dragged Gareth along, and he sat there the whole game and watched. He didn’t really get it, he didn’t care who won or who lost, he didn’t care about basketball at all, he just wanted to be there for Steve, to cheer him on, and to congratulate him after… maybe even ask how his summer was. After the game, that’s just what Eddie did. He stepped down from the bleachers, Gareth following close behind, and he stepped onto the now crowded court and made his way over to Steve, who was alone, wiping his face with a towel and sipping on some water. Eddie thought he looked beautiful… and he really loved those tiny little shorts. Maybe he could get into basketball after all.

“Steve,” Eddie smiled as he approached, “great game… I think.”

Steve’s face lit up when he saw the boy, his hair a little longer now, sitting just under his jaw in a tangled mess.

“Eddie, you came.” He put the towel over his shoulders, “I didn’t pick you as the basketball type.”

“I’m not really.” Eddie laughed nervously, and Gareth nudged his arm, he swallowed, “Just came to watch you.”

Steve stiffened a little, his back straightened out, “Oh?” He caught Eddie’s big brown eyes with his own, and everything felt comfortable, “Thanks… means a lot.”

Eddie nodded, “Well, I always support my friends so-”

“Were friends?” Steve picked up.

Eddie looked up at him, a little startled, “Uhm, I thought so.” His mouth suddenly felt very dry, “I thought because… well we just–”

“We never hang out though.” Steve questioned, his eyebrows creasing down.

“I suppose.” Eddie nodded his head slowly, eyes glued to the ground.

“My parents didn’t even come to watch my game.” Steve almost whispered, “So… it really does mean a lot to me that you came.”

Eddie looked up at him, wide eyed, “You got shitty parents too?”

“Something like that.”

Eddie nodded, “Sorry for getting the wrong idea, we just used to talk-”

“No, it’s okay…” Steve smiled, “I guess we are friends.”

Eddie grinned and Gareth elbowed him in the ribs subtly, Eddie looked down at his friend who was giving him a suggestive glare and Eddie nudged him away.

“So uh..” He cleared his throat, playing with the edge of his jacket, “did you want to maybe… hang out some–”

“Harrington!” A hand landed down on Steve’s shoulder, Tommy Hagan’s to be exact… one of Eddie’s newest irritations.

“Hagan.” Steve nodded, awkwardly looking between Eddie and the ground.

Eddie sighed, rolling his eyes a little, he knew what was coming.

“Hey Freak.” Tommy scoffed, “What the fuck do you think your doing?”

“Just talking to Harrington.” Eddie forced a smile, “Thought he might miss me.”

Eddie glanced over to Steve who had a soft smile on his lips and he shook his head at Eddie, rolling his eyes as he always did. He loved it when Eddie teased… a little more than a man usually should. A secret he would take to the grave.

“Miss you?” Tommy scoffed, laughing out, “Hear that Harrington? I think the freaks got a crush.”

Eddie’s face went red, and Steve’s smile dropped, a confused expression spread across his face, he was utterly oblivious. Did he even know what a gay person was?

“Yeah, yeah.” Eddie shook his head, forcing the lump in his throat down, “Funny, Hagan.”

Tommy laughed again before shoving Eddie’s shoulder, “Why don’t you run back to your little nerd squad and leave us the fuck alone.”

“Whatever.” Eddie scoffed, turning away without saying goodbye.

——————————————————————————

From that day, Steve only hung around with the assholes. They always shat on Eddie in the halls, or at lunch, or wherever they went. Steve didn’t say mean things to him, but he never tried to stop the bullying either. The whole hellfire grew to hate ‘King’ Steve, the now leader of the pack, the King of Hawkins High. And by Eddie’s first senior year, Steve started becoming an even bigger prick. Not only did he constantly have a random girl under his arm (which always made Eddie’s stomach churn), he also now joined in with calling Eddie a freak… only when the other assholes would encourage him too though. And Steve always regretted it. Eddie only grew to hate himself more. It was too good to be true, Steve was nothing more than an asshole. An asshole who Eddie fell in love with.

——————————————————————————

Then, Eddie failed senior year, the bullying only accumulating more. And on his first day, he walked into the homeroom, and there sat the King himself. Eddie froze, he didn’t even think about being in Steve’s grade now, but it scared the shit out of him. As he walked through the class, the students all began to cheer and whoop and throw scrunched up pieces of paper at him, all to tease him of course… now not only the freak of Hawkins High, but also the failure. The guy who couldn’t even graduate. This year was going to be hell. He laid the theatrics on thick, like he usually did, taking a bow and doing a little turn, a grin on his face as he made his way to the back of the classroom. As the shouting died down, he slumped in his chair and found himself, once again, staring at the back of Steve Harrington.

To make matters worse, if they could even get any worse, their lockers were now right fucking next to eachother. Eddie threw his head back with a loud groan when he saw Steve in the locker besides number 243. Steve whipped his head around at the loud sound, and his stomach dropped. Eddie walked up and opened the metal door, refusing to look Steve’s way. Steve kept his eyes on Eddie, a sort of ache running through his body, he missed him. Steve turned back to his locker.

“Feels like freshman year all over again.”

Eddie tensed up at the sound of his voice. He hadn’t heard Steve speak in that tone since eighty three. It made his whole body melt, he missed it. He hated the way Steve talked to him now, all tough and preppy, thinking he was better than anyone else. But now, now it was soft, and warm, and safe, and Eddie wanted to punch him for it.

“Yeah, except now I’m a failure, and you’re an asshole.” He scoffed, he didn’t care if the hurt in his voice was noticeable to Steve, in fact, a little part of him needed Steve to know how hurt he really was.

Steve tensed, he sort of felt like crying, thank god Eddie’s locker door was in between them, blocking their view of each other, “You’re not a failure… or a freak.”

Eddie scoffed and shook his head, “Yeah… but only when no ones around to scold you for being nice to me, right?”

Steve’s eyes dropped, “I’m sorry.”

Eddie nodded, but Steve couldn’t see that. Eddie placed his hands on the shelf of his locker, leaning on it a little, “Bet you missed me, right Big Boy?”

Steves insides flipped and he couldnt help but smile, thank fucking god for the locker door, “Maybe I did.”

Eddie shook his head and slammed his locker shut, “Yeah well, I didn’t.” Lie. Super big fucking lie.

Steve couldn’t do anything other than watch as Eddie walked away, not giving Steve the satisfaction of the hurt look on his face. Steve never hated himself more than he did at that moment.

——————————————————————————

“I told you O’Donnel would grow on you.” Eddie said, the locker door between them.

It was the day before Christmas break, and the first time Eddie had started a conversation with Steve this year that wasn’t straight up rude. Steve swallowed thickly, thinking back to their first interaction, all those years ago.

“Yeah.” He huffed a laugh through his nose, “You were right.”

“She fuckin’ love’s you man.” Eddie smiled, peaking around his locker door to look at Steve who was just leaning up against them, ams folded, perfect hair, your not supposed to like him, be mean, “Don’t know why, your a fucking prick.” he turned back into his locker, smile gone.

Steve looked to the ground, “Yeah.” He nodded, “But I’m also a suck up.”

“Fucking tell me about it.” Eddie scoffed, “Oh, Ms O’Donnel, did you get a haircut, it looks great. What? You’re fifty seven, you don’t look a day over twenty three. What? You’re single? Ms. O’Donnel, you have to be lying, how could you be single?” Eddie deadpanned him.

Steve just nodded, poking his tongue in his cheek, “You’re not any better, Munson. Come on Ms, I’m sure you can give me a better grade than that. You don’t want me sticking around for a third year, do you? I know I’m handsome, but that’s a little inappropriate, don’t you think?”

Eddie smiled a little before pushing all those happy little feelings away and slamming the door shut, he looked back at Steve, “What? Are you saying I’m not handsome?”

“Well your hair cut has definitely improved.”

Eddie bit the insides of his cheeks to keep from smiling, “Aww, you noticed? Stevie, you shouldn’t have.” He teased.

But that little nickname made all of Steve’s hairs stand on end, and his back straightened out, “Well, it’s hard not too when your jumping on tables making a ruckus every other lunch.”

“I only do it so you notice me.” Eddie grinned, defineltny only a tiny bit of a lie, Steves cheeks went red, “I’m fucking joking, Harrington.”

Steve relaxed down a bit, “Right… yeah, right.” He scratched his chin.

“Well.” Eddie tosses his car keys in his hand, “Don’t miss me too much over break, Stevie.”

Steve nodded and Eddie patted his shoulder before walking off. He leant back against the lockers, throwing his head back in frustration. He had no idea what he was feeling, or why he was feeling it, and it just stressed him out.

“Hey, Harrington.” Tommy called, “Why were you talking to the freak again?”

“Leave him alone, Tommy, he��s not a freak.” Steve sighed, slowly standing back as Tommy approached.

“The failure then.”

“Not a failure either.” Steve shook his head.

Tommy swallowed thickly, “What, you got the hots for him now or something, Steve?”

Steve shook his head, “The hots?”

“Yeah, you know?” Tommy chuckled nervously, “You into dudes, Harrington?”

Steve stiffened, he thought for a second, eyes landing on Eddie’s locker, “Dudes… ha, no. No way. I got Wheeler, man.”

Tommy nodded and cleared his throat, “No, yeah, of course.” He forced a laugh, “Was just messing with you, man.”

——————————————————————————

“So,” Steve closed his locker and turned to Eddie, pulling his door back just enough to look at him, “did you pass?”

Eddie turned to him and bit his lip, “Nah, man.” He shook his head, “The failure, yet again.”

Steve nodded slowly, “Sorry, dude.”

“Don’t give me that shit, Steve.” Eddie scoffed, “I know you couldn’t care less. I’m willing to bet twenty bucks your gonna run back to your little possy and tell them that the freak fucking failed school, yet again. And then your all gonna laugh at me.”

“I’m-”

“Don’t even bother.” Eddie shook his head, “Have fun at graduation, Harrington.”

Eddie closed his locker door and slowly walked away, everything weighing down on him.

“Hope you don’t miss me too much, Munson.”

Eddie stiffened and slowly turned back around to see Steve, a smug smile on his lips and hands on his hips. Eddie smiled softly, taking a small step back towards him.

“Hawkins High won’t be the same without King Steve to rule.”

Steve shook his head, a small laugh on his lips.

“I’ll bet you’ll miss me more, Big Boy.” Eddie grinned, that was a lie, he was going to miss Steve with his whole heart, at least he no longer had to walk past him in the halls, or stand beside him every time he went to his locker.

“Yeah, yeah.” Steve shook his head and rolled his eyes, a playful smile on his lips.

“See you round, Stevie.” Eddie smiled, taking a few steps backwards, “Good luck at graduation.”

“Good luck for next year, your gonna fucking need it.” Steve yelled out, and Eddie bounced away.

——————————————————————————

Eddie pressed the smashed bottle up against the guy’s neck, too scared to register what was happening or who it was.

“Eddie!” Dustin called out, and Eddie turned his head to look at him, bottle still pressed firmly against the guy’s neck, “It’s me. It’s Dustin. This is Steve.”

Eddie turned his head back to find Steve pressed firmly against the wall, heart beating rapidly, panic on his face. He kept the bottle there, he had no reason to trust Steve. No reason at all. They hadn’t even seen each other (other than when Eddie would stop by the mall and watch Steve sling ice creams and terribly flirt with every girl that stepped food inside) since that last day of senior year.

“He’s not gonna hurt you,” Dustin continued, speaking slowly and steadily to try and calm Eddie in his spooked state, “right Steve?”

“Right, yeah.” Steve spoke barely above a whisper, attempting a nod and he looked into Eddie’s eyes, he was scared.

“Steve, why don’t you drop the oar?” Dustin wasn’t really asking.

Steve looked around, a little annoyed, but he knew he had too or Eddie may have pressed the bottle deeper into his neck. So he did, but Eddie shoved him back, the broken glass digging deeper into his skin. Eddie was nothing but terrified.

“He’s cool!” Dustin almost shouted, “He’s cool.”

“Cool man, I’m cool.” Steve grunted, unable to speak very loud at all.

“What are you doing here?” Eddie didn’t take his eyes off Steve… Why was he here? Of all people. Steve.

“We’re looking for you.” Dustin answered, not exactly the response Eddie wanted, but it was enough.

“We’re here to help.” Robin spoke up, and Eddie finally looked away from Steve.

“Eddie.” Dustin sighed, “These are my friends… you know Robin, from band.” Robin imitated playing the trumpet.

“This is Max.” Dustin gestured to the red head, “The one who never wants to play D&D.” She aggressively waived.

“Eddie.” Dustin spoke again, “Were on your side. I swear on my mother!”

Eddie looked back to the bottle at Steve’s neck, a little hesitant to believe them.

“Right guys?” Dustin shouted.

“Yes, yes we swear.” Max nodded.

“Yeah.. o- on, on Dustin’s mother.” Robin agreed.

“Yeah Dustin’s- Dustin’s mother.” Steve nodded.

Eddie looked at Steve, he didn’t trust him one bit. All he ever did was break his heart, bully him and then confuse the fuck out of his feelings. Why should he trust Steve? But he trusted Dustin. He’d trust Dustin with his life. Steve scrunched up his face. Was he really about to be murdered by Eddie Munson? The guy he wasn’t supposed to miss? Eddie watched him, he saw the fear in Steve’s eyes and everything inside him dropped. He let Steve go, stepping away and sliding his back down the wall.

——————————————————————————

“Yeah yeah.” Steve opened and closed his hand as if it was a mouth, “Even when it’s staring ya right in the face, you can’t admit it. You just can’t admit that you’re wrong, you little butthead.” He shrugged.

Eddie jumped down from the rock he was perched on, “I concur… you, Dustin Henderson, are a… total butthead.”

“Jesus, we thought you were a goner.” Dustin smiled, pulling Eddie into a hug, which he gladly took, but not without a quick glance over to Steve.

Dustin pulled back from the hug and Eddie looked over to Steve, who was awkwardly standing with his hands on his hips. How, after all this time, did Eddie still want to kiss him so much. Especially given the fucking circumstances.

——————————————————————————

“But the Shire… the Shire is burning, so Mordor it is.” Eddie stood with a soft smile before making his way over to Dustin, refusing to look Steve’s way.

Steve shook his head, “What is Mordor?” He whispered to no one in particular.

Eddie ran back, his hip brushing against Steve’s hand as he did. A tingle trailed up Eddie’s spine at the contact, this really was not an appropriate time for feelings. And Steve felt his stomach flip.

“Get your stuff dude.” Steve shook his head, the both of them forcing those feelings away.

I cannot be thinking like this right now, he’s wanted for murder, Steve thought to himself. He’d become more aware of his feelings since getting trapped in a secret Russian lab last year… after Robin told him she liked girls. Suddenly, he realised, maybe he liked boys too. This thought was only explored one other time when he saw Eddie hauling bricks, a tank top on, dirt on his arms, tattoos on display, hair tied back into a little bun on his neck, flannel tied around his little waist, helping the town that hated him. The way his movements looked so easy, leaning down, grabbing a brick or a piece of rubble, standing back up, gloved hands tossing it into the container bin beside him, cleaning up the mess that was the burned down mall. But that thought never crossed his mind again, not until yesterday, not until the smell of Eddie was trapped in his nostrils for the rest of the night. What was worse is that he liked the smell, alot, it was familiar, and safe. He’s wanted for murder, he told himself, but it only made him want to cradle Eddie in his arms, stroke his hair, and kiss all his worries away. Fuck, he needed to talk to Robin.

——————————————————————————

Steve stood, hair glowing soft in the moonlight. God, he was so fuckin’ pretty, Eddie thought. Why the fuck he was thinking that, right then, when Steve was offering to sacrifice himself, was something Eddie didn’t really know. Steve pulled his jumper off, and fuck, the minuet the fabric slipped over his hips and his midriff was exposed, Eddie was a gonner. He reached for his pack of smokes. Then, the jumper came off the rest of the way, and holy fuck he was hotter than Eddie remebered. He’d really grown into his looks, all broad and manly. He shoved the cigarette between his lips, he didn’t need to deal with a fucking boner right now. And then, just when Eddie thought things couldn’t get worse, Steve threw his jumper at Eddie. He really didn’t know what to do with himself, so he just held onto it… tightly. His dive into the water was elegant, and Eddie lit his cigarette. The wait for Steve to resurface was longer than Eddie liked, he was nervous. He couldn’t deal with another person dying around him… especially not Steve. And then there was a splash, and he was back to the surface. Steve began to tell them about what he found, and Eddie listened closely. He didn’t exactly register what Steve was saying, he was only really listening to the sound of him, and staring at him, all wet. He needed to touch some grass or something. He clutched Steve’s jumper tighter.

And then something pulled at Steve. Everyone froze. Eddie froze. No, not Steve.

Then it stopped. Steve relaxed a little, looking around, a little confused. He looked to Eddie and saw how white his face was, the pure terror in his eyes. He started to smile, to show Eddie he was still there, he wasn’t gonna die too. But the thing pulled him down again, and he was under. Eddie shouted out at the top of his lungs, calling Steve’s name with nothing but fear and he jumped up, lurching forward to grab for him. But he couldn’t. Steve was gone. And Eddie was terrified. He wanted nothing more than to jump in and save him. But he just couldn’t, and he hated himself for it, he hated how weak he was when Steve wouldn’t even hesitate before putting his life on the line for anyone. For Eddie. A lost friend who did nothing but tease him, and call him names, and make him feel like shit on the regular.

——————————————————————————

Eddie found himself staring…. Again. He was always staring. And how could he not, Steve was gorgeous… and shirtless… and flirting with Nancy. He clenched his fists. He has no right to get jealous, and yet, he does. He always gets jealous. He thought this whole Wheeler fiasco was long gone, but apparently not. Apparently, Steve was still hooked, and maybe she was too. Either way, Eddie couldn’t stand it. He just witnessed two people die a horrible, gruesme death, he was wanted for said murders, he was in an alternate dimention, just fought off some demon bats, almost fucking died, almost watched Steve die twice, so no… he didn’t need to see Steve shirtless, looking hotter than hell, flirting with Nancy. Not fucking today. He pulled his vest off and chucked it at Steve… maybe he should have given his leather jacket… maybe he still wanted a peak.

“For your modesty, dude.” It landed right in Steve’s face, pushing him back a few steps.

He fuckin deserved that.

Steve sucked at his teeth, nodding slowly before pulling it on.

——————————————————————————

“Eddie!” Steve yelled in a hushed tone, taking faster steps to catch up to the metal head as the four walked through the vine infested forest.

Eddie turned back, slowing his steps a bit for Steve to catch up.

“Hey man, uh,” Steve caught up to him, and Eddie looked at him with a hint of desperation, “listen I just, uh, I just wanted to say thanks… for saving my ass back there.”

Eddie couldn’t help but grin, “Shit… you saved your own ass man. I mean that was a real Ozzy move you pulled back there.”

“Ozzy?” Steve asked, and his voice was a little raspy from just being strangled, Eddie hated himself for being a little turned on by it.

“He took a bite out of that bat.” Eddie smiled, and Steve gave him a confused glance, making Eddie smile as he fell a step behind, “Ozzy Osborne… Black Sabbath… he… he bit a bats head off on-”

“I don’t–” Steve waved his arms.

“Stage– no?”

Steve shook his head, and Eddie caught up to him, “It’s very metal, what you did. That’s all I’m saying.” And incredibly hot.

Steve gave him a confused look, he thought Eddie was back to his stupid fucking teasing, and not the flirty kind, “Thanks.”

Eddie looked at him, a little disappointed in his reaction. He didn’t understand why Steve was being all cold all of a sudden, he pushed himself a little closer,

“Henderson told me you were a badass, he insisted on the matter,” He tried not to come off as too flirtatious, this was not the time, “in fact.”

Steve looked at him, watching him as he spoke, “Wait, Henderson said that?”

“Oh yeah, shit,” Eddie looked back at him, “the kid worships you, dude. Like, you have no idea. It’s kind of annoying, to be honest.” Only because the way Dustin spoke about him, only made Eddie fall harder.

Steve laughed a little, and Eddie couldn’t help but smile. He loved Steve’s laugh.

“Yeah,” He continued, “I don’t even know why I care what that little… shrimp thinks, but ah… guess I got a little jealous, Steve.”

Steve smirked to himself. After all this time, he thought he was the only one.

Eddie swallowed, taking a breath, “I guess I couldn’t accept the fact that Steeeeeve Harrington was actually…” He took another breath, looking over to Steve, body riddled with nerves, “a good dude.”

Steve hung his head low. He was nothing but sorry for the way he treated Eddie, he hated himself for it, and he didn’t know why he let it happen. But now, there was no better time to fix it. To rebuild his relationship with Eddie. Because there was nothing he missed more than when Eddie would make him smile… and there was nothing he missed more than watching Eddie from across the hall as he dug through his locker, watching him, staring at him and his terrible haircut, his eyes occasionally dropping down to his ass.

“Rich parents, popular, chicks love him… not a douche?” Eddie shook his head, “No way man, no way. That, like, flies in the face of all laws in the universe, and my own personal Munson doctrine…”

He looked over at Steve, who looked away, a grin on his face. Eddie felt a little awkward, but he wanted Steve to respond, to give him some type of reaction. Something! He leaned in closer, definitely overstepping a boundary, but that’s something Eddie did on the regular,

“Still super jealous as hell, by the way.”

Steve laughed and tried to shove him away a little, “Okay.”

And Eddie smiled, a good reaction. The reaction he needed. But he still wouldn’t let his feelings show, not today, not ever. Never, ever, never.

He laughed, “Which is why I would never have jumped in that lake to save your ass. Not under any, ah… normal circumstances.”

There was a crack, a sort of howl of the wind, stopping them in their tracks for a moment. They looked around, before continuing on.

“Nope.” Eddie talked to calm his nerves, “Outside of D&D, I am nooot a hero. I see danger and I just… turn heel and run. Or, at least that’s what I’ve learnt about myself this week-”

“Give yourself a break, man.” Steve gently slapped him across the chess, an action so simple, yet it made Eddie’s heart beat out of his chest.

This was not okay.

“The only reason I came in here was ‘cause those ladies came in straight after you. Now, I was too ashamed to be the one who stayed behind. But Wheeler right there? She didn’t waste a second… Not one second. She just dove right in.” Eddie turned to face Steve, both of them coming to a stop, Eddie invading his personal bubble once again, but Steve didn’t mind it as much this time.

Eddie spoke softly, he didn’t want to know what happened between them, and he wanted nothing to happen again. But now isn’t the time to be selfish. Now was the time to be honest. Honest in an unselfish way. But Eddie didn’t notice Steve blatantly staring at his lips.

Eddie pointed to the girls, “But if I were you,” and this part pained him the most to say, and he still didn’t notice when Steve hungrily licked is lips, still staring at Eddies, he was too focused trying to be unselfish, “I would get her back. ‘Cause that, that was as unambiguous a sign of true love as these cynical eyes have ever seen.”

Steve looked up at Eddie’s eyes again, pursing his lips, he looked over to Nancy, a small sigh escaping his lungs. Yes, part of him Still loved Nancy. How could he not? She was his first love. But now, now he didn’t want Nancy. He wanted Eddie. Robin had told him she was sure as shit Eddie wanted him too, but maybe she was wrong. She was definitely wrong. Why would he be telling Steve to try and get Nancy back if he wanted Steve himself? He looked back at Eddie, nodding softly. Now wasn’t the time for either of them to worry about their feelings, now was the time to survive. Even if they have wanted each other for years and years.

——————————————————————————

They all marched out of the other version of Eddie’s trailer, one by one they bounced down the steps in silence, moving fast, each determined to complete this plan to perfection. Dustin and Eddie stepped down together, their role in this battle was to stick together, and they were glad. They wanted to stick together, to stay far enough away from the danger yet, be right in the middle of it. And… Eddie was a little excited. He was about to fucking shred his most prised possesion, in a fucking alternate dimention to one of the coolest songs he’d ever fucking heard. He spent the entirety of March just practising, over and over and over again until he got it perfect. And now he was ready to play it for his biggest fan yet. Nothing but nerves and excitement. Steve however, was terrified. He had no clue whether this plan was gonna work or not. He had no idea if he was even gonna make it out alive… if any of them were gonna make it out alive. Steve had the sudden urge to stay by Eddie’s and Dustin’s side, to protect them. He always protected Dustin, and he knew Eddie needed protecting too… he wanted to keep him safe. But, he knew their roles, and he knew it would fuck everything up to change it now. But he turned around anyway.

“Hey, guys, listen.” He started, catching Eddie and Dustin off guard, “If things here start to go south, I mean, at all,” He pressed, sternly looking between the nerds, “you abort. Okay? Draw the attention off the bats. Keep ‘em busy for a minute or two. We’ll take care of Vecna. Don’t try to be cute… or, be a hero or something. Okay? You guys are just–”

“Decoys.” Dustin pressed.

And Eddie kept his eyes on Steve, he could see the fear in his eyes, the tremble of his lip. He wanted nothing more than to kiss it away. What a stupid fucking thought. Steve looked to the ground, he felt like crying, but he knew there was no time for that. He looked back up at Eddie.

“Don’t worry,” Dustin pressed, “You can be the hero, Steve.”

“Absolutely,” Eddie added on, a smile on his face, “I mean, look at us. We are noooot heroes.” He looked back to Steve, huffing a little laugh of reassurance.

Steve smiled softly and nodded. He trusted Eddie, he realised. He trusted him to take the safe option, and to protect Dustin. He wanted to tell him that, and so much more. But, as he’s told himself about one hundred times before, there’s no time for that. He nodded, and turned away, walking back to the girls. The three started their march towards the Creel house, and Eddie couldn’t help but stare. Again with the fucking staring. Dustin carefully watched, he didn’t press Eddie to move, he knew something was up. He could tell he wanted to say something, and he was happy to wait… to let him say it. But Eddie didn’t say anything, he just stared, tears prickling in his eyes as he watched the guy he loved walk towards almost certain death. Steve felt his gaze and stopped, turning around to look at him, a longing look in his own eyes. Eddie’s lip trembled and a tear slipped down his cheek. He scrunched his face up, trying to hide his emotions away, trying to hide his real feelings from Steve. But Steve noticed. A tear slipped from his own eye. He really didn’t want to leave him now. Dustin watched the scene slowly unfold before him, he was nothing short of confused, and he took a few steps back to assess it properly, neither of the guys noticed, the girls oblivious to the whole thing, talking and walking ahead. Eddie took a deep breath in, he longed to say something, something sincere. To make him promise to come back, maybe even that after all this time, Steve was the one he loved. But he didn’t have the strength for brutal honesty like that, so he opted to hide it under a running joke.

“I’ll m–” Miss you, Big Boy, is what he wanted to say, but Steve didn’t let him.

“Don’t.” He shook his head, marching back over to Eddie, “Save it. Tell me you missed me when we’re safe, and out of here.”

Eddie went to speak, but before he could, Steve had his hand in Eddie’s hair and was kissing him. Everything froze, everything stopped, everything fell silent. Steve was kissing him. He sunk into it, dropped his battle gear and lifted his hands to cup Steve’s cheeks and pull him in closer. He was kissing Steve. They pulled away, only for the sake of getting air. Their foreheads pressed together, and Eddie stroked his thumbs under Steve’s eyes, Steve tightened his grip on Eddie’s hair before releasing it and stroking it softly. Eddie cried some more, and Steve did too. They both stayed there for a moment, not saying anything. The world around them was silent, the loud bangs of thunder that once echoed through the upside down now were nothing more than a distant memory to them, all they could feel was each other, the warmth of the others breath, their scents (which still smelt good despite the thick layer of dirt and sweat each were sporting), the taste of each other. Steve knew they couldn’t stay there long, but he wanted to stay there forever. He moved his hand up to the back of Eddie’s head, holding him tightly. Eddie continued to wipe his now wet thumbs across the high of Steve’s cheek, his fingers digging deeper into the sides of his face. A thumb trailed down and softly swept over Steve’s soft lips, pulling at the bottom one softly. Eddie smiled, a little huff of air pushed through his nose, an attempt at a laugh. He bit his own lip, looking at Steve’s. He scrunched his face up, squinting his eyes, he didn’t want to let Steve leave. He couldn’t bring himself to let go. He pulled at Steve’s face, bringing their lips back together for another deep kiss, longing, wanting, passionate, tears dripping down into it. Eddie’s hands crawled around to the back of Steve’s head, holding him there. Steve’s hand wrapped around Eddie’s waist, still holding the axe he had, and their bodies were pressed so close you couldn’t even slide a quarter between them. This was only their first- well, second- kiss, but they both knew it could be their last. They pulled back, their bodies no longer so close, their lips apart, tears in their eyes. Steve pressed one last quick kiss to Eddie’s lips before walking away.

“Stevie,” Eddie called, catching everyone’s attention, they all turned to look at him.

Eddie wanted to say, I love you. But Steve begged him with his eyes not too. Not because he didn’t want anyone to know, not because he didn’t love him back… because he did. He wanted everyone to know that he loved Eddie with his whole heart. But right now, he couldn’t handle the whisper of those three words. He knew it would tear him apart, and everything would go to shit because then… if it was said… he wouldn’t be able to leave Eddie’s side.

“Make him pay.” Eddie finally said, darting his eyes away.

Steve nodded and rushed off, chasing towards the two, very confused girls, refusing to let himself look back. Eddie watched him walk away, again, I’ll miss you.

“Dude.” Dustin called from behind him, a shocked expression on his face.

Eddie turned around, “What?” He grunted, expecting some homophobic comment, to get the third degree like everyone else in this town gave him.

“That’s my Steve.” He shouted.

“And?” Eddie pressed, tears prickling in his eyes, he didn’t want Dustin to hate him now too.

“That’s my Steve!” He shouted again, “That’s gross!”

Eddie turned around, picking up his weaponry again, choosing to ignore the comments. He could deal with that later, now… now he needed to distract the bats to make sure Steve could get out safe and unharmed.

“That’s like…” Dustin continued, and Eddie shook his head, “That’s like seeing your parents makeout!”

Eddie stopped in his tracks, “What?”

“Ew!” Dustin continued, “This is totally my fault, isn’t it?” Dustin clamped his hands to his cheeks, pulling them down, “I made Steve sound so awesome to you that you totally fell in love with him, and vice versa! Please, never be smushy and lovey and kissy in front of me again, I will definitely gag.”

Eddie was a little confused with his reaction, “So…” He started, “So are you okay with the fact that Steves a guy… and that… that I’m a guy?”

Dustin furrowed his eyebrows, “Dude, I knew you were gay if that’s what your asking.” Dustin shook his head, taking a step forward, “You have a picture of Slash, shirtless pinned in your locker.”

Eddie bit his lip, a little embarrassed. Two people figured it out because he just can’t help but stare at pictures of shirtless men.

“Sorry if I scared you for a second.” Dustin smiled, “I thought you being into dudes was like, common knowledge or something. I thought you knew I was cool with it.”

Eddie wrapped his arms around Dustin tightly, “Thank you. And I’m totally gonna kiss Steve in front of you now, if he lets me, because I know it will piss you off.”

“Mother fucker.” Dustin shook his head, and they got to work.

They both wanted to protect Steve as much as they could. And it was Eddie’s top priority to protect Dustin… and Steve. So that’s just what he did.

——————————————————————————

“I missed you.” Steve smiled sweetly, taking a few steps forward and sitting down on the ground.

He took a heavy breath, pulling his knees up to his chest, Eddie’s battle vest that was thrown at him in the Upside Down was tightly held in his hand. He lifted his fingers to his lips, kissing them lightly before pressing them on the gravestone in front of him, tears prickling in his eyes.

“I miss you so much.” He whimpered, tears streaming down his cheeks now.

He clutched his chest, the aching pain in his heart hurt too much, and he could barely breathe, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you, Eddie. I’ve always loved you, I just didn’t know it. Please come back. Please!” He pleaded, laying down on the grass.

He pushed Eddie’s vest under his head, creating a makeshift pillow, curling himself up on it. He pressed a hand on the stone behind his head, keeping it there. It hurt so much. His body wasn’t even buried in the ground, they had no time to move it. Steve tried to, he really did. He grabbed him, crying, screaming, his hands covered in Eddie’s blood, lifeless eyes staring up at him. But the portal was opening, and Nancy and Robin managed to pull him back right before the ground ripped open right where Eddie was laying, his body lost to the rip between worlds. His body lost to Steve forever. All he had was an empty grave and a dirty old battle vest that only smelt like Steve now, all traces of Eddie drifted away. Robin sat by his side, stroking his back, tears of her own quietly falling down her cheeks as he cried out. There was nothing she could do to help her best friend. All she could do was let him cry, to let him scream, and to hold him and tell him it will get better. But she didn’t actually believe her own words. She knew Steve would hang on to the pain forever. He’d been through so much already, and this was his breaking point. He was ready to give all of himself to Eddie, to give him all his love, and he knew Eddie was ready to do the same. But now he was gone, and everything was dark. And now, he really did miss him.

16 notes · View notes

renjunphile · 5 months

Text

for the rest of ours ᡣ𐭩 song eunseok

୨♡୧ WORD COUNT: 13.4k ୨♡୧ PAIRING: riize's song eunseok x female!reader ୨♡୧ TAGS & WARNINGS: chaebol heirs!au, rich kids!au, one sided enemies to lovers!au, arranged marriage!au, angsty at the start, overall fluff, reader is selfish and mean to eunseok for a good chunk of the story, brief unrequited love but y/n is an unreliable narrator tbh, second chance romance, she fell first but he fell harder trope, drinking, partying, non linear narrative

୨♡୧ SYNOPSIS: you find song eunseok to be utterly and despicably insufferable. too bad he's your fiancé since birth! and there was nothing you could do about it!

୨♡୧ NOTES: OHHHH im having such an intense eunseok rot that i had to write the most gut wrenching and nonsensical piece that becomes to sickeningly fluffy at the end. theyre just so in love with each other and there's literally no plot at all!!!!!!!!!!! lowkey one of the worst pieces i've written in recent times since i rushed it but i will edit and add scenes and plot in the future :> but for now, enjoy! ♡ i.b let my by zayn at the end :)

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

It may be disturbing for some and horrifying to say, but your eyes hadn't even fully formed in the womb to open and your limbs weren't even well defined enough to have joints when your life was signed off to another's. For goodness' sake, it had barely even been a month since your tiny, minuscule heart started beating! What would the Song's have done if you grew up ugly?

You sighed to yourself, muttering under your breath how Korea's third richest family should be grateful you were akin to art in anyone's eyes. You were looking through the dusty photo albums that the housekeeper found while tidying the primary study of the mansion, and you grimaced at the photos of your fiancé that appeared from even the very first page.

It was bad enough that you were engaged before you were born, but did he really have to attend your birth? He probably didn't even have memories then! But there it was, under your fingertips: a perfectly preserved photo of a 3-month old Eunseok bundled up in sleep suit being posed next to where the nurses placed you after they literally just took you out of your mother. You don't even think the umbilical cord had been cut yet.

"Y/N, Mr. Song is outside," your favourite housekeeper coos at you from the double doors going into the study. You give her a terse smile and stand up from your father's office chair, straightening your silk gown before taking her hand as she helped you down the marble stairs of your home.

You roll your eyes (mostly to yourself, but you didn't mind if he noticed) as you saw his car parked at the bottom of the stairs leading to your front door.

"You can't even be bothered to come and collect me? Or open the door for me?" you sneer as soon as you settled yourself into the passenger seat.

"Well hello to you too, my lovely wife," Eunseok smirks, immediately revving and setting off around the fountain of your courtyard.

"I'm not your wife," you snap, deciding to ignore when the word 'yet' seems to slip under his breath, "But seriously Eunseok? This car? I'm going to look so stupid trying to get out of this car in my dress and heels. Why do you love sitting on the floor so much?"

Eunseok has an extensive car range. One that any car junkie would envy, but Song Eunseok knew nothing about cars. He just had them because he could. This car was a sports car where you had to sit in such a ridiculous position just so the car could look cool on the outside.

"It's white!" he defends himself, slightly whining in a cute way to which you swallow down a positive reaction. His eyes flicker over to you momentarily and his tongue traces across his bottom lip, "You look gorgeous, by the way. Very bridal."

You're wearing a white silk dress that looks like it's made for your body. It's draped so beautifully around your hips and hugs every part that needs to be accentuated. You loved this dress the second you saw it in Paris, but you never thought then that it would be used for this occasion.

"Just shut up and drive," you quip. It takes a few moments of silence for you to feel bad even though his expression remains neutral and you sigh, "I guess you don't look too bad."

"Aw, I knew you were in love with me!" he teases again, a phrase he liked to use every time you said something to him that wasn't snarky, sarcastic or an insult.

You choose not to reply, instead taking in the bright lights of Seoul as he pulls into a main road. You haven't been back in a while, holing yourself up in your penthouse in Manhattan, but you always loved the sight of home.

"But seriously, Y/N," Eunseok coughs to get your attention, his voice dropping down low and suddenly serious, "This actually might be your last chance to back out of this. Just say the word and I'll turn this car around and take you straight to Incheon and you can run away around the world long enough until they find me a new bride."

You turn to look at him, perplexed by his words, "And you? You actually want to get hitched off to some random?"

Eunseok shrugs, not meeting your eyes, "You're not some random. I've known you since you were born. I've known you'd be my wife since the day I could understand what that meant. But if I have to find a replacement because you don't want to do it anymore, I will."

"Gee, ever the gentleman," you deadpan, "I think want is a pretty strong word. I don't want to marry you, but I guess I will."

"You're not backing out? Not leaving me looking stupid up on the altar?" Eunseok taps his finger on the leather steering wheel.

You think about his words sincerely. There's really nothing more in the world that you'd love than to run away to a small little town on the southern coast of Italy- somewhere quaint and quiet where you'd find love and spend the rest of your days cooking, cleaning, baking and finding peace in the ocean. There's nothing more in the world that you want more than for someone to ask to marry you because they were in love with your soul and not having you by their side would be like torture in the cruelest form.

Alas, you're Kang Y/N of the powerful Kang family, the eldest child of your father and the next heir waiting to take over the conglomerate. And because you're Kang Y/N, the eldest daughter of the second richest family in Korea, you were contracted to marry the first son of the third richest family in Korea. After that, your companies would merge and you would overtake the Kim's as the sole ruler of the country.

"It's my duty," you swallow nervously as you begin to recognise the streets of where you were driving, signalling that you were soon approaching the venue, "It's fine, Eunseok."

"I wish it wasn't just fine. I wish this was what you wanted." he breathes out and your heart stops beating for a second before anger seeps in through the cracks of your heart.

"Do you think it's any girl's dream to marry someone that doesn't love them?"

Eunseok sighs as he presses on the breaks, moving through the lifted barrier where they had closed a portion of the street in anticipation for his car and your arrival. He twists his body to look at you, "Y/N-"

"It's fine, Eunseok," you grit your teeth as you repeat your words, eyes trained on the paparazzi camped out on the steps of the venue, eager to get a glimpse of you, "Let's just get this engagement party over with."

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

Song Eunseok had to follow you around the world like a lost puppy.

When you said that you wanted to go to that boarding school in Switzerland where only the richest sent their kids, Eunseok was in the seat next to you on that first class flight. When you said that you were going to Oxford to study for your undergraduate degree, Eunseok was tossing away his dream to study at Harvard to join you getting drunk at 18 under the grey British sky. When you said that you wanted to do your masters at Columbia so you could live in New York City, Eunseok was moving into the apartment across yours while he worked at the company his dad created in New York just for him to have something to do there.

If you said jump, Eunseok had to say how high?

That was just the name of the game considering the Song's had more to gain from this arrangement. Your family was richer. Your family was in a greater range of industries. Your family's money went back a lot further than the Song's. And you- you were the most stunning woman in Eunseok's eyes and because of him, you were stripped of your choice to fall in love. That's why the Song family gave you princess treatment from the second you were able to demand things.

You had protested until your vocal cords went raw when they found out that they were sending Eunseok to university with you. For years up until you turned 18, you had imagined finally getting away from Eunseok for once, even if just for 3 years. He had always talked about Harvard and with the grades to boot, you thought that you'd finally have an ocean separating you.

It certainly wasn't an easy fight at the airport as you threatened to drop out of university the second that you even stepped foot into the new country. All your father did was bat his eyelashes and give you a heartfelt, "Please, princess? Just do this for us."

The phrase 'just do this for us' nearly knocked you sick nowadays after over 2 decades of hearing it spew out of your father's mouth. Ultimately, yes, you were lucky to have such a loving family that never pushed anything evil or truly despicable onto you. This was the one thing they needed from you. They obliged every want and wish for the trade-off of giving your hand in marriage to the Song's first born son.

In June of your third year of university, a couple months out from your graduation, Eunseok turned up at your door completely drunk.

"What are you doing here?" your arms were crossed tightly, trying to cover as much of yourself as possible as you were clad in the smallest pyjamas for the British summer heat.

He grinned goofily up at you, eyes lazily fluttering open and closed, "Hi, Y/N. I'm drunk." He was leaning against the doorway, nearly making out with the frame.

"I can see that," you sniffed the air and grimaced, "And smell it. But what are you doing here?"

"Can't I visit my lovely fiancée on her 21st birthday?" he batted his long eyelashes sweetly at you, taking one step into the apartment. You gazed at him hesitantly, taking one step back.

"I don't think anyone would appreciate their fiancé turning up on their doorstep piss drunk at 2am," you spat, "If you truly wanted to wish me a happy birthday, you would have left me alone."

"I lost my keys," Eunseok groaned, "I didn't know where else to go."

It should be sweet that out of all the places he could have chosen to go to in the city, he went to yours. Instead, it made you feel angrier.

"Eunseok, stop bothering me," your words contrasted your actions as you pulled him into your apartment and locked the door behind him, "Go sleep in the spare bedroom and leave as soon as you wake up. I'm going out for breakfast with my friends tomorrow so lock the door behind you and keep the key with you 'til you see me next." You pulled the spare key out of the drawer and placed it in his pocket.

Like a pathetic dog, Eunseok followed behind you as you led him through the apartment your parents had bought for you.

"Can I sleep with you?" he murmured.

"In your dreams, Song," you retorted, stopping in front of the spare room door, "Plus, you stink like shit."

"Ah, it's okay," he sighed dreamily, resting his head against the door, "We have the rest of forever to sleep beside each other."

You let out a frustrated screech, shoving his chest, "Can you let me live in peace? Why do you have to keep reminding me?"

"In the hopes that one day the thought of it won't make you sick or angry," he replied, opening the door of the room.

Your strong gaze faltered, "What are you- in love with me?"

"No," Eunseok shook his head, "I could learn to though, if you wanted me to."

"The only thing I want from you is to be far away from me," you ran your hands through your hair to soothe yourself, "And even that you can't do."

"I'm sorry, Y/N. Thanks for letting me stay," Eunseok gave up on his tyranny and dropped his voice, "Happy birthday."

You muster up a near half-smile, turning to return to your bed where you'd be tossing and turning until your alarm went off, "Goodnight Eunseok."

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

The worst thing about your arrangement with Eunseok was that it was kept secret.

Of course, it was an open secret in your families and to the company- and there were always rumours about it since you two ended up always together around the world. But it wasn't like it was announced to the world at any point to protect the prospective merger happening when you and Eunseok came of age.

That made relationships very hard indeed. It always had to end in heartbreak, at least for the other person.

The two of you agreed that you could see other people if you wanted to, and you agreed on this the same day you had your very first heartbreak.

"Eunseok, can we talk?" you poked his side to catch his attention. Eunseok was bouncing his basketball up and down while he spoke with his friends just outside the school courts. It had been 2 months since you moved back to Korea after spending 3 years in Switzerland at boarding school, where you quickly became homesick. Eunseok followed you home immediately.

Your fiancé bid his friends goodbye and gave you a sweet smile, "Yeah of course. What's up?"

You led him to the adjacent square that was thankfully deserted and settled just under the bloomed cherry blossom tree in the middle, "Um."

Eunseok giggled at your hesitancy and pushed your hair behind your ear, "What is it?"

16 year old you blushed terrifically at that moment, highlighting your plump cheeks and shining eyes as Eunseok peered down at you.

"I know this is um, pretty stupid," you began, breaking his stare and looking down at your Prada loafers, "Well basically, my friend Jimin- you know Jimin?- she told me to-"

"Just say it, Y/N."

"I like you?"

It came out more of a question as you quirked your eyebrow up at your fiancé.

His eyes went wide, taking in a deep breath, "Y/N. You," he paused, "You like me?"

"Yeah," you exhaled, "Is that so bad? We're going to get married someday."

Eunseok looked around and noticed his friends turning the corner to the courtyard, presumably to look for him, "Look, Y/N, I'm sorry but I thought we were going to, you know, try experience life like how others do and meet people and do whatever we want to until they tell us we need to get married. I didn't think we were obliged to date."

Your eyes began to water and your lips began to quiver as sheer embarrassment sunk into your bones, "So what? You want to date around?"

Eunseok reached out to cup your face but you quickly took a step back, feeling humiliated and slightly bettayed, "I'm sorry Y/N. I didn't know you felt like this towards me. Look, can we talk later? I'll swing by your house after basketball practice, okay?"

From the ages of 0-16, you would say that you and Eunseok were close childhood friends. Even though you had no concept of marriage or love, your parents had forced the two of you to be together through every occasion with weekly play dates and attending the same schools. When you finally understood what being engaged to each other meant at around 12 years old, it made you swoon that you were going to spend the rest of your life with your best friend, who you'd always found endearingly cute. He became more handsome as the years went by and at 16, he was the object of all of your desires.

He was manly, he was protective, he was sporty and most of all, he treated you so well. He would run around town with you no question to go shopping and indulge you in all of your cravings even if you needed to have ice cream at 10pm in the dead of winter. He would take the train with you all around Switzerland to see different lakes and ski resorts. He would help you study in the library and pass you your favourite snacks whenever it seemed you were getting tired. He would give you his jacket on the breezy nights watching the local sports matches.

You were so blinded with your affection towards him that you had convinced yourself that he did those things because he liked you back. Because he wanted to treat his future wife well.

The day Eunseok stamped all over your little heart was the day you waged a one-sided war against him. Eventually, Eunseok began reciprocating your snarky attitude and the rest had been history.

You told your maids and house security to refuse entry to the grounds to Eunseok that night, but because of your parents' unconditional offer to Eunseok to make your house also his home, he had spent a good part of the night on the other side of your bedroom door trying to get you to open it so he could apologise. For a man you were once smitten for, it was easy to put on your headphones and drown him out until he got exhausted and left.

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

Eunseok opens the car door for you and offers out his hand. In the darkness of his car, you grimace slightly, but force yourself to take his hand and use your free hand to smooth your dress out as you exit the car. The flashes from the press are blinding and carry on all the way up to the bottom of the staircase leading into the venue your parents had hired for the evening.

You try to keep a pleasant smile on your face as Eunseok passes his keys to the valet men before wrapping his arms around your waist. It comes nearly naturally to him, from all the photos your parents had made you pose together in dating back a decade or two. But it's your first official public appearance together, so the flashes intensify and you're taken aback. Eunseok feels you stumble slightly and begins to lead you along the carpet rolled out up to the stairs.

There's shouting from every direction- asking where your dress was from, asking if you were dating, asking why you were with the 'rival' company's son all the time- nothing new to you. After you traverse up the stairs, the two of you turn around and give a small wave at the cameras. You feel Eunseok drop his head down to yours, so you nestle yourself into him a bit more. How sweet, you thought to yourself, pushing down the urge to throw up at all this fakeness.

"Last chance to run," Eunseok murmurs as the doorman opens the glass doors into the foyer.

"Are you begging me to?" you counter, "Why do you keep insisting I back out?"

"I'm not. I just feel guilty, so I'll make up a solution if you want to stop all of this," he whispers into your ear. To others, it's an endearing moment as you keep your face neutral.

"It is all your fault. You should feel guilty. I'm not doing this for you or your family, but for my family. If this is what they want, then I'll oblige," you nod your head firmly.

While Eunseok's family was definitely benefiting more from the merger, it did come with some advantages for your family too: less competition in the market, combined success superseding the current top conglomerate, and for your parents: the knowledge that their first born child was going to have someone that was born to and raised from a good and rich family- someone that would be able to take care of you no matter what and understand your life in a way no other civilian could.

You know that your parents' argument for you to marry this guy was weak- there were plenty of good, rich guys from other companies- but you had been happy with the arrangement at the start and by the time you were 16 and he was breaking your heart, the companies had already started slowly merging or putting the plans into place. It was honestly a shame to your parents that other than rejecting you, Eunseok really had no faults. He was always polite, always courteous and intelligent enough to take over the conglomerate with you when the time would come.

Eunseok drops his arm from your waist, instead sliding his finger between yours.

"Miss. Y/L/N, Mr. Song," your family's general assistant approaches you in the foyer with a tight smile, "The event is about to begin. Please follow me to the stage. Are your speeches prepared?"

"Mhm," you hum, tugging Eunseok with you behind your assistant, "The rest of the family are here?"

"Yes. They're waiting by the stage," she replies as nerves finally settle into your stomach. You suddenly can't even look at Eunseok anymore as the gravity of the situation clicks into your mind. After this, you were going to be officially engaged in front of the world and you were going to be his bride in no less than a year from now. There was no turning back anymore.

Eunseok has to shoot you a look to stop you shaking on the stage as your father and his begin their speeches about their company, and the new era and blah, blah, blah. You tune them out in order to focus on your breathing and make sure you don't barf the second you step up to the podium. After minutes of nonsense, you feel Eunseok place his hand on the small of your back, signalling you to take to the stand.

"Um," you began, suddenly losing all the lessons you had learned in your public speaking classes growing up, "Thank you all for joining us on this occassion. As my father said, we are transitioning into a new era of our company and as I take on the role of COO, we believe it's important to have good people by your side to support you. While my family and the Songs are joining together in business, we are also joining together in family," you look over at Eunseok, who gives you a reassuring nod, "Song Eunseok and I are to be wed in one year's time. We have been close friends and partners since we were born and I couldn't imagine anyone better suited to be by my side. We can go into this business partnership fully trusting each other and our companies and we would be grateful if you could give us your support. Thank you."

You step away from the podiums as gasps ring through the crowd. The business venture was nearly an open secret in the industry, but your relationship with Eunseok was based on rumours only, having never confirmed it. Now that you have, it would stir up all these new rumours- were you only getting married for the merger? Did you two actually love each other? What about all the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes that had been conniving to get even a bit of your or Eunseok's time to beg for your hand in marriage?

Eunseok takes his place beside you, wrapping his arm around your waist again as your families smile together for the pictures. The engagement party also doubled as a celebration for the merger, so at least all of the spotlight wasn't on you.

You're glad that your friends are here. They're all business heirs too, since like attracted like at your school. Your best friend Minjeong attacks you with a hug the second you step down from the stage.

"Ah, my best friend is getting married," she sighs dreamily into your ear, "You know what, Y/N, at least he's handsome. It's harder to hate someone when they look that good."

"Then you marry him," you chide, half-joking, "The problem has never been his looks. It's the situation."

"He doesn't hate you half as much as you hate him," Minjeong tuts, "And he's in the same situation. He never got a choice either."

You know deep down that she's right, but you're committed to making his life hell until the ends of the earth for breaking your heart. If anyone could say anything about you, it was that you could hold a grudge.

"Whose side are you on?" you prod her arm, but she rolls her eyes and links arms with you to join Eunseok and his friends.

"Happy engagement, lovebirds," Sungchan greets you with two kisses on your cheeks, "So excited to be at your wedding."

"I'm sitting you at the back," you retort, sticking your tongue out. You hated that Eunseok's friends were genuinely nice and funny people. It was so hard to distance yourself from Eunseok when your friendship groups had been deeply intertwined since you all could walk.

"Not when I'm a groomsman, right Eunseok-ie?" Sungchan swings his arm around his friend's shoulder, pulling him close, "Now tell me, who's the best man?"

Eunseok shoves his arm off, "You can just draw straws for it."

"I'll be the best man, hyung," Seunghan grins cheekily, "I'll make sure to give a really good speech, okay?"

"It's almost as if it's a real wedding," you smile bitterly, "Jeong, you'll be my maid of honour right?"

"You have to ask me properly," Minjeong whines, "We're going to do this wedding right, okay? My best friend will only get married once. I'm not letting you let your wedding planner do everything; we've been planning our dream weddings since we were 10 so we'll do it according to that."

"C'mon Y/N," Wonbin bumps his shoulder with yours, "We can make it fun. We know you'd rather not marry hyung, but he had always been the groom in all the weddings you'd plan when you were young. Now it's like a dream come true."

"Yah, Park Wonbin," Eunseok grits his teeth at his friend for bringing up the past. You wince at the reminder as Minjeong slaps his arm.

"Y/N, I think your mother is calling over you and Eunseok to dance," Shotaro calls for you softly, and you turn around to see your mother desperately signalling to you to join her on the dance floor.

"I'll see you guys later," you bid your friends a goodbye as you follow Eunseok into the crowd.

The night crawls by. It's nearly painful as you fake a smile with every passerby and acquaintance who congratulates you for your engagement. It feels like you're getting stabbed in the heart over and over again as everyone coos over how in love the two of you seem and how they always knew you were going to end up together. It crushes you as Eunseok leans down to your ear while you dance, apologising for how this was your life.

You get into his car after the party. The ride home is silent, apart from the noise of the city around you that seeps in even through the rolled up windows. Eunseok won't even dare breathe too loud in fear of making your life even less like what you had dreamed it to be.

He pulls up to your house and you make a quick move to unbuckle your seatbelt and open the door in one motion, but Eunseok wraps his hand around your wrist gently, bringing you back down.

"What is it now, Song?" you sigh in frustration, closing your eyes in defeat.

"I know this night has made your hatred for me 10 times worse," Eunseok begins, shuffling in his seat to reach into his inside pocket, "And I know that what we have isn't real to you, but I thought you at least deserved this."

Your eyes flutter open and you look over to him. He uncurls his clenched hand, unveiling a shiny ring in the middle of his palm. You bite back the gasp that bubbles up through your throat, and you reluctantly take the ring between your fingers without looking at him.

It's exactly your dream ring. It's what you imagined the love of your life to propose with when you were younger. It's what you wanted to be someone's physical manifestation of their love and devotion to you. That makes it all the worse when it comes from Eunseok.

"I remembered," Eunseok reads your mind, "When we went ring shopping when we were young for fun because you wanted to make sure I would propose with the right ring. I hope it's still what you want."

You can't bear to look at Eunseok at all, so you clench the ring in your hand and open the door, "Goodnight Eunseok. Thank you. Get home safely."

There's 100 steps between your front door and your bedroom. It takes what's left of your energy to hold back the sobs that threaten to escape prematurely. As soon as your bedroom door clicks shut, you collapse against your floor and break down in tears.

Why did Song Eunseok have to be such a good man? Why did you have to hate him? He was yours now, and that was what younger you wanted all along. Why were you taking it out on him? You had been holding onto a grudge for so long and he had been trying to make amends in private ever since, despite going along with your whole enemies thing for his own fun.

You hated how you knew that Song Eunseok could and would give you the life you wanted. You hated how all you wanted to do was love him like it was your choice and for him to love you back like it was his. But in this world, you were privileged enough to have everything you ever wanted, aside from the choice to love whoever you wanted to.

You hated how you didn't even have a choice in loving someone who didn't love you back.

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

You fought with Eunseok nearly every time that you saw him through your university years. You found problems in the way he positioned himself too close to you and problems in the way he would distance himself and act like strangers when you did complain about that. You found problems in the way he didn't talk to other girls despite rejecting you and found problems when he would go on dates after you said that.

In short, Song Eunseok was a problem to you.

Yizhuo was forcing shots into your hands and demanding that you downed them with her as you tried to tune back in to the party going on around you. You couldn't think of anything else the second that Song Eunseok walked through the door arm in arm with some girl.

It was the last party of your undergraduate university days, since exams had finished and you were going to graduate in just a couple of weeks. Someone had rented out some kind of manor in the outskirts of Oxford, dedicated for everyone to stay at and party for a weekend. You knew the organiser through a friend of a friend, but everyone that had been invited was someone you either knew personally or knew of. The spoilt brats community at your university was large, but tight.

You obliged Yizhuo's request and bitterly downed the drink, hissing as it burned through your tracts, "What is this? It tastes disgusting."

"Alcohol isn't made to taste nice," she tutted at you, following your line of sight before sighing, "I guess it's time to get you more so you don't have to be sober looking at that."

Minjeong shook her head on the other side of you, "I can't believe he would bring someone here. He knew you'd be here. So disrespectful."

You saw that Eunseok was about to turn, so you quickly spin away in order to avoid eye contact, "It doesn't matter to me. We're not dating."

"But he's your fiancé," Yizhuo stomped in defiance, "He should have some respect for you."

"Since he didn't want to date me, i'd rather him date other people. Then it just looks like he rejected me because he didn't like me as a person," you affirmed, taking another shot with Minjeong.

"Y/N, please. You were 16 when you confessed and 16 year old boys don't have the most mature outlook on life," Minjeong argued, coughing after the bitter shot, "I'm sure he's not stupid anymore. You grew up hot and he's practically tripping over his own feet trying to chase after you."

"He's not chasing me," you scoffed, "He brought a girl here."

"Oh, you're impossible, Y/N," Yizhuo cried out, beginning to slur, "What do you actually want that poor boy to do? Even I would be confused with the way you act."

Your best friends have been trying to knock sense into you since you turned 18 and Eunseok gave up his dream to study at Harvard to be with you in England. They had claimed that Eunseok realised his feelings for you and wanted to make up for rejecting you. You claimed that if that was his intention, he would have told you that by now instead of pestering you by inserting himself into your new life without reason.

"He can do whatever he wants," you turned your nose up, "I don't care about him."

"Well you better act that way. He's coming," Minjeong warned you, suddenly disappearing with Yizhuo and leaving you stranded with your fiancé walking towards you.

It honestly felt like the grim reaper floating over in slow motion before he came to collect your soul. You fought hard to control the grimace on your face as he stopped in front of you.

"Y/N," he greeted softly, leaning in to give you a hug. You stood still, but you don't push him away. You ignored the way your heart skipped a beat when he pressed his cheek gently against the top of your head.

"Eunseok,"

"How were exams? You're graduating this year, right?" his head is tilted at you, eyes focused into yours.

"Why are you even asking? I'm sure you know my plans for the next 10 years considering you're still following me around," you scoffed, "Does your new girl know you're moving to New York after graduation so you can stalk me while I do my masters?"

"Are you jealous?" he smirked suddenly, gentle demeanour disappearing, "She's just a friend."

"Does she know that? I don't care what you do, Song. I just feel bad for the poor girl whose heart you're going to break when you tell her you're engaged," you feigned nonchalance, pouring yourself another shot, "I guess it's my fault for telling you to have your fun and experience things since apparently you'll be so devoid of love when you get married."

"Y/N," he trailed off, grabbing the soju bottle that had appeared in your hands, "You know it's not like that. I didn't mean it like that when I reject-"

"Save it, Song," you rolled your eyes, "Your girl is coming. Don't go blaming me when time comes to break her heart."

You turned away in time and managed to snatch back your alcohol before arms wrap around Eunseok's and a high pitch voice squeals to him about how she lost him. You find Sungchan somewhere in the crowd and convince him to call you a taxi to take you back into the town where your apartment was. Before he could even confirm the booking, you had already disappeared into the crowd, the shots you had taken truly seeping into your blood and making your head spin.

You don't really remember what happened the rest of that night, but if you try hard enough, you can remember being tucked into a bed on the third floor, big eyes peering down at you as you tossed under the duvet, a hunched figure sat at the end of the bed on the floor and a soft voice singing you to a deep slumber.

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗

"It's gorgeous, darling," your mother's voice takes you out of the focus mode you're in. The sunlight seeps through the stained glass, illuminating the sunroom at the back of your house. If you look down through the windows, you'd find the garden that your mother has been cultivating for decades. The rose garden with its arches and its vines was where you'd dreamed to get proposed to when you were young.

"You think so?" you showed her the sketch in full, turning the pad, "Do you think it's easy enough to create in real life?"

"We can make anything you want happen," your mother takes a seat in the lounge chair next to yours.

"Can you make Eunseok love me back?" you hum dejectedly, shading in the corset of what would be your wedding dress.

"He does, sweetheart. You just refuse to see it," your mother swiftly utters, and you stop your drawing, clenching the pencil tightly in your fist.

"Why does everyone say that?" you growl, "Everyone but Eunseok."

"Because you act like you hate him. You act like marrying him is the worst thing in the world. You act like there's nothing he could say or do that would bring him back into your favour despite you loving him all these years," your mother is lecturing you now, "He follows your lead, my darling. He will go to the ends of the earth for you and he always has. What more does he have to do for you to accept the way he shows his love? What more can he do to have your forgiveness?"

There's tears welling up in your eyes and your mother takes the drawing pad away from you to examine the dress you had envisioned. She carries on while you chew your lip and fight back the tears.

"You're going to be beautiful in this dress. One year's time will fly by, so make amends with Eunseok by then. Even if you don't go into this marriage as lovers, at least go into it as friends. That will make your life easier."

"I don't want to be friends," you grit out.

"Mhm, you want all or nothing. Why don't you ask him, then? He threw the ball in your court when he asked you if this marriage is what you want. Someone who doesn't love you or care about you wouldn't give you the option to run away to save yourself, you know?" you hate how insightful your mother is as she grabs your left hand, "This ring is beautiful, Y/N. He knows your heart like it's his."

"Cause it is his," you choke as the tears begin falling, "And he stamped all over it 8 years ago."

"He was just a young boy back then. He's followed you all over the world to be by your side ever since. He's sacrificed his own life to make your dreams come true. You have no choice but to marry each other, but he's been making choices to give you the life you wanted," she strokes your hair gently, "Can you give the boy a chance?"

Over the years, your parents had apologised to you for putting you in such a situation. They had told you that if you truly, inside your heart, didn't want to get married to Song Eunseok, they would call the whole thing off. The marriage was a way to ensure the merger wouldn't go awry by putting you and Eunseok as collateral if one side ever did try to betray the other. Tying the two of you together in marriage was a way to prevent either families from ruining the other.

You considered putting a stop to things more times than you could count on your fingers, but selfishly, you would imagine yourself on a rocking chair on a porch, hair grey and skin wrinkly and when you would look over to see who would be on the other chair, Eunseok was the only one you could imagine with you.

"But I've treated him so horribly all these years," you hiccup, trying to stop your crying, "There's no way that Eunseok would love someone like me."

"Because you won't let him," she stands up and places the drawing pad back in your lap, "Y/N, your father and I love you very much and all we want is your happiness. We haven't opposed this marriage despite how hard you've tried to push Eunseok away because we know that if you let him, he would make you truly happy. You're the only person stopping that happiness."

You ponder on her words for a while after she leaves, adding little details to your dress. For someone who was acting like this wedding was going to ruin their life, you sure were investing a lot of your free time into it. Maybe Minjeong had gotten into your head; unless you planned to divorce Eunseok (after the 5 year clause, per the contract), you were only going to get married once, so you should at least do it in your style.

Wonbin was right at your engagement party. You'd been planning your wedding since young. You knew exactly which flowers you wanted to adorn the aisle, which flavour of cake you wanted to eat, which song was going to play while you walked down the aisle, and whose eyes you wanted on you on the other side as you did. Eunseok had always been your dream man- he was your first crush, your first love and your first heartbreak all rolled up into one devastatingly handsome package. You imagined him in his crisp suit, laughing through his tears because you just looked so beautiful, and the thought of that takes you out of your fantasy and back into the room that was filled not with tears of happiness, but of silence.

You look down at the ring. The sun is hitting it perfectly, making the diamond shimmer in the beam. You slide it off and inspect the band for the first time, wondering what size he got since you didn't even know your size. Your heart stops when you first notice it. It's so small that if you blinked at that moment, you probably wouldn't have even noticed it and you would've lived the rest of your life not knowing it was there.

You run your nail against the engraving, your breath hitched as you read it.

To the one I'll always choose.

It's always been about choice. This whole time, it's been about your freedom to choose.

You and Eunseok weren't born with the privilege of choosing the one who was going to love you so hard that it would drive you crazy. You were instead born with a silver spoon in your mouth and a signed contract that because your family was going to have a girl first, that girl would be married to the Song's first born when the time came.

There was no question or argument about it. You grew up beside Eunseok knowing you were going to spend the rest of your life together, so you chose to learn everything about him. You chose to learn that he loved playing basketball with his friends and that he became silly and unserious when around them. You chose to learn that he doted on his much younger baby brother and that he would fight anyone and anything that could bring harm to him. You chose to learn that Eunseok had a soft heart that had its very own soft spot reserved just for you- one that grew bigger after your hatred for him did as well.

While you chose to hate Eunseok for rejecting you, he chose to stick by your side anyways. He chose to join you in Oxford, even if most of his friends went to America to study. He chose to live at the block just down the street from yours, so he could walk behind you to lectures and check that you were okay every day without overwhelming you. He chose to sleep on hard floors and wake up with kinks in his neck because he chose to sing you to sleep while you were drunk and then refused to leave to sleep in a nice bed so he could watch over you and protect you in your state. He chose to take on a job in New York for two years instead of joining his father's company straight out of business school so that you had someone to accompany you on your midnight walks through New York City. He chose to give you the choice to leave if marrying him was truly a burden you couldn't bear, because your happiness was the grand reward of the consequences that he would bear in your place.

When you chose to hate him, Eunseok let love grow in the emptiness that you left behind instead. He would choose you a million times over and over again until the day you'd finally see it. Your hatred for the situation stemmed from the fact that you thought your choices were stripped away in being arranged to marry. You wanted Eunseok to love you not because he had to, but because it was his choice to.

You were too blind by your rage to see that Eunseok had been choosing you over and over again not because of the arrangement, but in spite of it. That was the greatest love of them all.

On the next sunny day, Eunseok joins you on the bench in the middle of the rose garden. You'd been sketching up ideas on how you want the aisle to look like. You were thinking light flowers along the bottom with candles dispersed to illuminate it. In your dreams, you'd get married at sunset in a glass pavilion that could hold only your closest friends and families. As the sun started dipping, the candles would take over as the source of light and bathe everyone in a soft, golden glow. In your dreams, the light would reflect onto Eunseok's face, highlighting his sharp cheekbones and large, round eyes that were peering down into yours.

"What did you call me over for?" Eunseok sits on his hands and looks around. It's spring time and the garden is at its most vibrant and beautiful.

You hold out your hand in front of you, "I found the engraving on the ring."

Eunseok takes a sharp breath in, "Ah you did?"

"Did you not want me to see it?"

"I had just hoped that whenever you did see it, you would believe it," Eunseok whispered, "It's true, by the way."

"I know," your response has Eunseok turning his head so fast it almost gives him whiplash.

"You do?"

"Mhm. You chose to follow me around the world despite me hating you and you having to give up on your dream schools just so you could try to prove yourself to me. You chose to keep giving me gifts on birthdays when we were abroad since my family often couldn't make it. You always choose me. Why?"

"In part to make amends for the mistake I made when I was young pushing away your feelings like that without thought," Eunseok explained, "But for the most part because I care about you and I want to make the best of a bad situation we're in. I know that no one wants to be in an arranged marriage. I just wanted to show you that I could give you the life you wanted. That you could be happy with me."

Your heart aches at his words as you realise how truly misguided your perception of him was. You had thought that he was following you around to torment you and to remind you that you could never be free, but all this time, he was letting you live your dreams and staying by your side to show that he was supporting you.

"I've treated you so badly over the years and you still want to marry me?" you meet his eyes that have been trained on you since the moment he sat down.

Eunseok giggles and reaches up his warm palm to your cold face, "Hm, your words are harmless Y/N. You've shown your affection to me in other ways; I know you love me."

You roll your eyes and push his hand away, "In your dreams, Song."

"Mhm, actually in your dreams," Eunseok teases, "Considering you've been dreaming about marrying me for 10 years."

"And I don't know why. I must be sick in the head for that. Did you hit me in the head when we were young or something?" you retort, trying to move away from him.

Eunseok lets out a full-bodied laugh that sends butterflies through you instead of the burning rage that usually ensued whenever he was having fun in front of you. He stretched his arm around you behind the bench and pulled you closer to him, "Just admit it, Y/N. Everyone knows you've had a fat crush on me since we were teens and it's only ever grown. There's a very, very fine line between love and hate."

"I still hate you," you grumble, "This doesn't mean anything."

Eunseok drops his head down, pushing your head into his shoulder. Your first instinct is to recoil away and grimace, but Eunseok's grip on your shoulder is tight, so you try to relax in his hold.

"You'll always be my girl, Y/N. You just have to accept that."

You hum and watch the bees buzz around the rose garden, "I've always wanted the whole ordeal- the crushing, the pining, the courting, going on dates, having your firsts, moving in together, proposing how you want. I feel like that was taken away from me before I even knew what they were and even if we do those things, how would I know what's real and what's fake? What you're doing because of me and what you're doing because of the arrangement- that kind of stuff."

Eunseok's heartbeat is slow and strong, "The arrangement only brought us to each other. How can I make you believe that everything I do for you is because I want to?"

"How about we start with when you rejected me and left poor little 16 year old me heartbroken?"

Eunseok scoffs, "Y/N, I was stupid, okay? It was a mistake, I was young and I was too blind to see what was in front of me. You were still special to me back then and I have always cared for you, but I didn't know what I wanted back then. I grew up and haven't looked back since."

"And the girls you brought around at university?"

"Because you were demanding that I dated other people," Eunseok rolls his eyes, thinking about your past explosive arguments about relationships, "I just went on dates here and there, but never anything serious. I always let them know that I couldn't commit, but you know there was a line wrapping around Oxford wanting to date me."

You chuckle at that. Everyone was falling over their feet for the chance to get just a second of Song Eunseok's time, the same way he was doing to you. He was incredibly popular and girls would approach you to ask you to set them up, but you would always growl and send them on their way.

"You were only the most eligible bachelor because you're the son of the third richest family in Korea," you sneer, jokingly.

"And I'm handsome, charming, intelligent and kind," Eunseok lists off his traits on his fingers, "But everyone knows you've always had my heart."

"I don't know if I can believe that."

He shrugs simply beside you, "Doesn't matter. I can show you now."

"What?"

"We can date from now on. I'll show you how I feel. Then in one year's time, you'll be gladly getting married to me instead of having to be dragged up the aisle kicking and screaming by your family," he says it so casually that you question if the shocked reaction you're having is the abnormal one.

"Date?" you splutter out, completely bewildered, pulling away from him, "Us two? Now?"

"Why are you saying it like it's crazy? I basically just confessed to you," Eunseok crosses his arms in front of his chest and tilts his head in confusion, "Are you rejecting me? Is this payback?"

You wave your hand in dismissal, "Yah, you're really confusing me here, Eunseok. I don't know what I'm feeling right now."

He laughs again, and he's glad that he can finally laugh with you for the first time in years. He takes your hand between his and squeezes assuringly, "It's okay. We can figure it out together as we go. Just stay by my side, okay?"

You sigh into the breeze. The air was crisping up as the sky began to illuminate in visions of pink and purple. You look over at Eunseok and the reflection of the sun makes his eyes look iridescent. One thing you've always known about Eunseok is that with him, you felt safe, so you nod and squeeze his hand back, "Yeah."

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The first time you saw Eunseok again after your undergraduate graduation, it was in New York City at the end of summer.

You had spent the entire summer travelling nearly every country in Europe with your friends, while Eunseok was forced to come home and start learning how to actually work in his father's company before he started his role at the New York branch. You were glad to have this summer without him considering the two of you spent your summers together as children and as teens, your friendship groups overlapped so you also had to hang out with him.

There were endless boxes in your apartment since decorating your space was one of your life's great pleasures. The boxes were organised by room and had been shipped out from England at the start of the summer when you moved out. They'd been collecting dust, so all your windows were thrown open in the summer heat to air out the apartment and the dust. Of course you had AC, but there was something about the noise of the city traffic and the hustle and bustle travelling up to your apartment that made you feel like you were truly in the city.

The knock on your door made you groan instantly and you had to suppress the urge of banging your head into the coffee table you were decorating. You took small and slow steps to the front door, but the pattering on the door wasn't letting up.

"Already here to bother me on my first day? It's only been like 3 hours since I got off the plane," you sighed as you came face to face with your dreaded fiancé.

Eunseok rolled his eyes and pushed past your shoulders into your kitchen, "I know you missed me. I brought takeout since you probably haven't eaten and don't have any food yet." Eunseok held up a bag of his favourite Korean food in the city and placed it on your dining table, dishing out the styrofoam boxes.

He arrived in the city a week and a half before you did, moving into the apartment across the hall so he had been able to get himself settled into both his job and his city before you came to rain down terror on him.

"What makes you think I want to eat with you?"

"I bought it, so I'm gonna eat it. Up to you if you wanna starve or not," Eunseok shrugged, already making himself comfy in one of your expensive dining chairs. He took out some plastic cutlery from the bag and began to dig in to the beef bibimbap he had ordered for himself. There was another few boxes of food in the bag, all of which smelling amazing and instantly causing your stomach to grumble.

Sheepishly, you took the seat across from him and scavenged through the food. He had ordered you some tteokbokki and a stew with some rice. Either he knew you too well or it was a lucky guess. For the sake of your heart, you settled on the latter choice.

The two of you ate in silence for a while, not really looking up at each other and just staring passively at your food. Silence was few and far between when it came to you and Eunseok. It was always hushed arguing or full blown insulting between the two of you no matter where you went or how inappropriate it may have seemed to others. You were sure there were rumours that the two of you didn't always get on despite being photographed together so often, but your families' PR teams were experts in mangling all those 'rumours'.

You broke the silence first, "How's the new job?"

The heir in front of you coughs and looks at you strangely, as if he couldn't believe you would ask him that, "It's... work. Not horrible and met a couple friendly colleagues. Having this job does make me feel so grown up and responsible, though," after the initial shock of you initiating a conversation, Eunseok began blabbering about his new position at his family's company.

"Well then hopefully it makes you more mature," you snide.

Eunseok scoffed, "Trust me, Y/N, when I say that I'm the more mature one out of us. You'll find out what I mean one day."

"If you were mature enough, you'd know to oppose this crazy marriage with me," you turned your head away from him, feeling the anger bubble up again.

"And it's because I'm mature enough that I'm not," he shrugged, "Unlike you, I don't think this marriage will be the worst thing that can happen to me."

"I'm honoured," you retorted, "I don't know why you think that when all I've done is make your life difficult. Why would you think I can't continue for the rest of our lives?"

He smiled coyly at you, pushing a drink that appeared in the bag towards you, "You'll get tired, sweetheart. Then you'll fall in love with me."

You feel sick at how he's all entirely wrong. Despite that, you appreciate how he's always able to diffuse any tension between the two of you even if his words are always cocky and arrogant. z

You don't say anything to him for a long while. When you finished up your food in silence, he packed everything anyway and placed it in the correct bins. Wordlessly, he began to unpack your boxes with you, unwrapping everything bubble wrapped and placing it on the kitchen counters for you to organise. You would have protested this act of service, but he's right- fighting him all the time does get tiring.

In this light from the living room as the sun setting made your apartment glow and burst with light, Eunseok looks radiant. You hope he can't see you admiring him from the next room. It's almost as if you're a normal couple, moving into their first home and starting their new life together. It's a melancholy sight as you ponder the what if's.

He breaks down all of your boxes flat, humming to himself a song that you think you've heard at the end of parties when you'd be sat on someone's bedroom floor just talking or playing cards half-drunk. Eunseok turned his head towards you and you whipped your head away so fast it hurts your neck.

"You still have this?" he held up a mug that instantly flashed you back to 6 years ago. The mug is majority a light pink and wonky in places since you made it yourself from clay. It was a few months process making and painting the mug, but when you were 15 with the biggest crush on him, having a mug brandishing "Y/N + EUNSEOK" on it made you feel giddy inside.

"All my other mugs broke," you lied through your teeth, snatching it from his grip and placing it in a random empty cupboard, "My mother packed it for me when I moved to Oxford."

"Mhm, okay," you could tell he was smirking but you made yourself busy with the plates, "I'm gonna take the boxes down to the recycling. Do you want any more help?"

"I've had enough of you for today," you breathed out. Too much time with him truly drove you crazy, "But thanks."

"Anytime, princess. I'm just across the hall if you need me and I'll get your number whenever you get it set up." he wiped his hands on his jeans and have you that charming smile that made you fall in the first place.

You see him out wordlessly. You don't argue when he turns up the next day demanding for your number in case you ever needed anything from him (or if he wanted to come and bother you). You feign annoyance when one morning he's insisting that he ran out of coffee in his apartment and wanted some of yours. You leave him in your apartment because you were running late to class, but when you get home, you open the cupboard and try not to fall all over again when you see a matching, much lumpier, handmade blue mug that brandished the words "TO FOREVER <3" on it next to yours.

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You're tossing and turning in your seat as Eunseok shakes you gently. He laughs when you groan under your breath as he wakes you up, "Sit up. We're landing soon."

The sleep you got on the flight was long, but you still woke up incredibly tired since you kept getting woken up for meals. You were grateful that you could fly first class with separate seats and beds, otherwise you'd be much more groggy than you already were.

Buckling yourself in the seat next to Eunseok's, you yawn, "Eunseok, what the fuck is an engagement trip?"

"A trip celebrating our engagement, duh," he looks at you like you're stupid, so you shove him as hard as your tired body could muster, "Like a honeymoon but before. Never too many excuses to take a vacation. Plus, we're going to be busy this trip."

You've never taken a vacation with just Eunseok before. Sure, you've lived in three different countries together outside of Korea and gone on a couple of vacations as children and with a large group of friends, but never just the two of you with a purpose.

"I don't understand why our wedding planner couldn't just pick a venue for herself and call it a day. Why must we go all the way to Italy and do it ourselves?" you're up to your neck in work, but you couldn't protest when you found a week blocked off in your calendar by your assistant, telling you it was 'orders from above' AKA your father.

"It was my idea," he confesses with a shrug, "Won't it be nice if we actually like where we're getting married? If we chose it ourselves because we can see ourselves getting married there?"

It feels like your heart is clenching at the insinuations behind his words. He wants to get involved with your wedding planning, like it's a real wedding. You sniff and turn away from him. It is a real wedding, you remind yourself. You were going to get married legally and this wedding was real, no matter the intention behind it. No matter if you loved or hated each other, it was a real wedding.

"Yeah. Everywhere in Italy is nice so at leadt it'll be a good trip," the past couple of months since you've been officially engaged to Eunseok, you've been attempting to be nicer and hold back your retorts. You've made an effort to argue less and he's been trying to get on your good side. You've both been busy with work considering the news of the merger brought a whole new wave of problems, so you've had no time to interrogate his profession to "date" you. Thank gosh, because your heart would not be able to take that.

The plane lands soon enough and before you know it, you're in a private car going to your hotel. You were staying in Milan, but driving around Lake Como and Tuscany to tour the list of potential venues that your wedding planner had come up with. You were definitely going to be exhausted by the end of it.

The drive was relatively silent, just listening to music and looking out of the window, but when you arrive at the hotel, Eunseok opens the car door for you and snakes his arm around your waist as you walk up to the front desk, "Hello. We're checking in to the penthouse suite. For Song?"

The hotel clerk smiles sweetly, handing over your keys swiftly, "All ready for you both, Mr Song. Congratulations on your engagement."

You're spluttering a thank you with flushed cheeks as Eunseok drags you over to the elevator, "You told them?"

"I just wanted the free champagne that I assume will be up there," he grins cheekily and you roll your eyes. As if he couldn't afford it.

You are however delighted to find a small cake beside the bucket of ice cold champagne and you dig into the red velvet goodness as you watch Eunseok open up your suitcases and hang your clothes up in the master bedroom wardrobe meticulously. You're halfway into the cake when he drags his suitcases out of the room.

"Wait, where are you going?" you frown.

Eunseok snickers, "To the other bedroom? Why? Do you want me to stay with you?"

"Oh. I just didn't know there were two rooms." you say sheepishly.

Eunseok stops in his tracks, hand on his suitcase loosening, "So you went into this trip okay with the thought of sleeping with me? If so, I'll stay here with you then."

"No!" you call out, "Just- just shut up and go."

The smirk on his face is smug as he nods and continues his leave, "Alright, sweetheart, but let me know if you get nightmares and want company."

You bear the butter knife at him and he laughs melodically on his way out. You pop the champagne yourself and drown a glass down, hoping you'd be able to make it out the trip unscathed. He's running into the room with a pout after hearing the loud pop of the corkscrew, so you pour the both of you a glass and you clink them together as you chugged them back.

The days pass by similarly. You wake up and have breakfast together before embarking on a sleepy drive to a venue. You have lunch in endless terraces and gardens under the sun, basking in the heat and evaluating the venue you saw that morning. You both ooh and ahh at different venues that all look the same before you find a flaw in it that stops you from making the decision to host one of the most important days of your lives there. Some are too big, some too small, too pretentious, not pretty enough, the flowers aren't the ones you envisioned, the location too secluded or not enough. You always agree on the flaws of the venues and it's the penultimate full day when you make it to the final venue on the list.

"If I don't like this venue then I'm not marrying you," you huff in the car as it pulls up the driveway.

"Who knew wedding venues were so complicated?" Eunseok exhales in frustration, "Should we just get married in Seoul?"

You puff out your lips, "Italy was always my dream, but I was naive to the process."

Eunseok smiles and takes your hand, "I have faith in this one. At least I hope." The commitment he has to giving you your dream wedding despite it all is unwavering.

When you enter the final venue, you think that maybe it was the last on the list for a reason, since you're blown away every step you take through the grounds. The hallways to the main room is ornate and delicate at the same time, with pretty floral paintings wrapping the walls and big windows letting in the golden light. The room where your reception could be held is stunning with murals all over the walls and a dome ceiling that compliments it perfectly. It's neither too big, nor too small and there's little nooks and crannies for guests to nestle themselves in. You could see yourself in the middle, slow dancing with your head on your husband's shoulder.

"This is nice," Eunseok awes, coming up behind you with the grounds manager, "Very pretty."

You nod in agreement and ask to see the gardens, since you always wanted to get married outside in the sun. The manager gushes over the outside while she leads you out and your heart is pounding in anticipation. Eunseok probably guessed how giddy you were, because he joins you by your side and gives you a hopeful look.

"We're here. Most brides start from here and have the aisle straight down to the arch."

She throws open the double doors and you gasp in admiration at the sight in front of you. The stairs going down to the garden seen steep, but grand. You envision that your father could probably help you hobble down to the garden, where it was staged as a wedding venue. There's chairs laid out in rows, decorated in tulle and bows with an aisle adorned in flowers. At the end of the garden, there's an arch with vines wrapped around it and flowers creeping up. From where you were standing, you could see that this garden was actually on a balcony overlooking a lake that seemed to be glowing and sparkling as the slight wind caused some ripples on the surface

"I'll give you two some time to explore?" she proposes, to which Eunseok nods and wraps his hand around your wrist, tugging you down the stairs.

"First impressions?" he's looking around with blown out pupils as the two of you reach the bottom of the stairs and the beginning of the aisle.

"I like this one a lot," you shyly admit, "It's exactly what I imagined."

"I love it as well. Why don't you walk down the aisle and see how you feel. Imagine yourself on the day," he's taking off in front of you, running swiftly to the arch before you could even take a breath and get a word out.

At his antics, you let out a full-belly laugh and straighten out the ivory dress you happened to be wearing. You look down at the slip dress hitting your ankles and think it might be fate you chose to wear this specific dress on this specific day. You look up and find Eunseok suddenly frozen still at the other end, hands intertwined in front of him and his eyes trained solely on you.

When he notices that you meet his eyes, he gives you a gentle smile as he mouths to you, "Come here."

It takes you a few breaths to actually muster up the courage to follow his direction. You think that walking down a straight path shouldn't be such a big deal, but the thought that this could be the very steps you take to marry the same man at the end in less than a year's time strikes your heart.

The aisle is a soft and smooth stone, perfect for walking on in high heels. It's wide enough that a wedding dress wouldn't drag along the sides and knock over the flowers and long enough for anticipation to build as Eunseok gazes down at you from afar.

"Y/N," Eunseok calls over.

You take the first step and your breath catches in your throat. All you can look at is Eunseok now, with his shirt unbuttoned at the first three to expose some chest and his hair falling over his eyes. He keeps fidgeting with his fingers, as if he couldn't stand still and his lips are puckering and stretching as if he had much more to say.

The second step is easier than the first and the third one even more so. By the fifth step, Eunseok is chewing on his bottom lip and you're ridden with anticipation to meet him at the end.

With each step you take down the aisle, you're flashed back to all the crucial moments in your life with Song Eunseok so far.

You were sandbox best friends. You learned to walk together, and then ride bikes with each other. You learned to swim in the same swimming pool that still remained in your garden. You learned to ski and snowboard with each other in the blustery mountains of the alps. You were each other's first heartbreaks when you were teens. You took your first alcoholic drink together with your friends by the Han river, faces flushed red and hearts beating out of your chests at the prospect of getting caught. You got blackout drunk together for the first time during your first week of university. You posed together as you threw your graduation caps up in the air at the end of the three years. You chased each other around New York City, running around in blocks after he snatched your phone from your grasp when you would ignore him. You begrudgingly invited him to ride swan paddle boats with you in every lake and river around the city since he was the only person that would drop everything for you at a moment's notice. You would leave containers of home cooked food outside his doors when you noticed he was getting swamped with work, knowing he had the tendency to either order too much unhealthy takeout or stop eating altogether when busy.

With every step you take to meet Eunseok at the bottom of the aisle, you accept that Eunseok has been with you for every step of your life.

He's an arm's length away when you notice his eyes are glossier than usual. Eunseok refuses to break the stare between the two of you as you arrive in front of him, exactly where you would stand under the arch if you got married at this very space.

"Are you crying?" you whisper, afraid of your own voice.

He chortles and dabs at his eyes, "It's just the wind."

"Mhm," you hum, fighting back the smile threatening to expose your emotions, "What do you think?"

Eunseok takes a bold step towards you and closes the gap between your bodies. He's closer than you've ever had him and you can nearly feel his breath on your skin. It's making you dizzy but all you can do is keep your eyes on him.

"Eunseok," you murmur in a hushed tone.

His head is drifting closer down to yours, forehead nearly touching. If you moved your face even just by a centimetre, your noses would bump and you knew you wouldn't be able to stop yourself.

"Let's get married here," Eunseok nudges his face forwards. You have to stop yourself from pulling back even with the drumming in your chest, "You're going to look so beautiful. You do already."

"I like this place. Our parents would like it here too."

Eunseok's eyes flutter shut as he sighs and shakes his head gently, "No, let's get married here because we want to, not because our parents would like it. Let's get married because we want to."

"Eunseok," his name falls out of your mouth like it's the most sacred word you can say.

His forehead is still pressed against yours, his eyes squeezed tight and his palm comes up to make home on your cheek, "I love you. I always have."

Sincerity drips from his words and you know that this time, it's the real thing. It's the words you'd been dying to hear him say sincerely for a decade. It's the words that underlined every fight and argument you've had as adults. He finally and bravely bares his heart to you for the first time, still considerate as he always had been by giving you the choice to determine what will end up of the two of you.

There's something different about his profession of love after all you'd experienced together. Back then, when you confessed that you liked him, the world would probably say it was just some puppy love- a silly high school crush. Something that would fizzle over and dissolve when you would experience the real hardships of life and what it could throw at you. You think that a late confession carries a profound and heartfelt meaning like no other.

"Seok-"

He cuts you off before you could finish, pulling away from you and causing you to open your eyes, "I don't need an answer yet, Y/N. I just need you to know that I want to be with you. I want to be your boyfriend, your husband, your partner- whatever you want me to be. I want to make you only happy from now on, instead of angry or resentful. I want to be by your side and keep following you around the world. I want everything with you."

You've never felt more sure of anything else in the world when you bounce up on your tiptoes and capture his face between your hands, pressing your lips against his. It feels like every nerve ending in your body is on fire, but at the same time feeling relief as if this was the one thing in the world that could finally relieve you from all the anger and bitterness you had been displaying and trying to internalise for all these years. Deep down, you could never ever hate Song Eunseok, the boy who has had your heart since you were just young.

He's rigid for a split second while he processes your own confession, but he quickly regains enough composure to part his lips and deepen the kiss, moulding your lips to each other's. It's unlike anything he's ever felt before and he finally understood the real pleasure of kissing someone you really love. As he runs his tongue along your bottom lip, Eunseok knows that he could do this for the rest of his life.

"Song Eunseok, I love you too," your eyes are glistening with adoration as you pull away from his kiss, "Let's get married?"

When he finally looks you in the eye at the moment you give yourself back to him, he can't help the tears that finally break free from their barrier. He's laughing as he finally pulls you to his chest, wrapping his arms around your body in desperation of keeping you close to him. You nuzzle deeper into him and he tucks his head into your neck. His body is shaking with the laughter of relief and his heartstrings tug when he feels his shirt dampening at the exact spot where your face laid.

"You're the one I'll always choose to love," he coo's into your ear words that travel straight into your heart, "For the rest of my life, for the rest of yours."

You look down at your hand and breathe deeply as the ring glistens on your finger. The Italian sun makes it shine bright as the symbol of your love. You start thinking of what you want to engrave on the inside of the ring that you want to get him. You start thinking of the dress and suit you'll be wearing at this very spot soon enough. You're dreaming of the house you move into together and of the company you'll spearhead by each other's side. You fantasise over your future kids- the kids you hope will have his eyes and your nose. You yearn for the life you know Eunseok will give you and your heart is finally at peace, knowing it will always be him.

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