#angstober prompt spare me

[astralix]

  Act 020 Spare Me

Pretty Guardian ✶ Sailor Moon

Characters: Original Characters, Canon Characters-mentioned Rating: Teen, Older Teen Genre: Angst, Action, Fantasy (magical girl) Song: “Forsaken” Within Temptation

Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon.  I only own my version of the Zodiac Senshi, Phoenix, Ophiuchus and Andromeda.

✦✶✦

The sacrifice was much to high Our greed just made us all go blind We tried to hide what we feared inside Today is the end of tomorrow

As the sea started risin’ The land we conquered just washed away Although we all tried to turn back the tide It was all in vain

✦✶✦

“Spare me your monologues and soliloquies,” an injured Sailor Leo struggled against the rune binding her hands.  She spat at the enemy in further defiance.  She was only kicked again and again in the abdomen.

“Why do you make it harder for yourself, when you could just tell us where your Empress is?”  The enemy’s interrogator spoke up.

“I’ll never do it,” Sailor Leo struggled, her vision blurring from the constant kicking.  Blood trickled down the corner of her lip.  She grunted in pain as the enemy kicked her again.  “And… I think it’s hilarious that she outsmar–”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence!” The enemy shouted and kicked her again.

“Are you the body double of the Empress?” The enemy’s interrogator was calm in the midst of his boss losing his shit.

“Yes,” Sailor Leo grinned.

The enemy’s interrogator looked at his boss for the next action to take.

“Kill her,” the enemy ordered.  “We’ll make an example of her to the public.”

Sailor Leo’s eyes widened, but she smiled.  She had one more trick up her sleeve.  She would rather go down fighting, than let someone else choose what they do to her.  What was it that Madoka and Bennu told her about breaking out of a runic seal?  She smirked as she felt herself being picked up.

Leo Flame Sunstone Power, make up!

[serickswrites]

Spare

Part 2

Warnings: captivity, torture, restraints, self sacrifice, forced to watch, drowning, mcd

"Please," Caretaker sobbed as Whumper stalked towards them, "please spare me, Whumper. Spare me." They couldn't stand this. Any of this. Whumper would torture them, kill them even, if given the chance. They couldn't let that happen to them.

"Why would I do that, Caretaker? Your terror is absolutely delightful. Especially compared to how stoic Whumpee is. I would much rather hurt someone who is openly afraid. It's much more," Whumper paused dramatically as they stopped short of Caretaker, "enjoyable."

Caretaker pulled on the cuffs keeping them restraint. "Please, please, spare me!"

"Take me instead," Whumpee offered quietly. They hadn't said much said Caretaker had screamed at them to shut up. Caretaker had wailed and wailed for hours, cursing Whumper and blaming Whumpee for being trapped.

"We're in this mess because of you!" Caretaker shouted when Whumpee had tried to comfort them. "I wish I had never listened to you!"

"I'm sorry, Caretaker. It's going to be ok. We're going to be ok."

"Whumper is going to torture us and kill us! How is that ok? I wish I had never listened to you. I hate you! I wish I never met you!"

Whumpee went silent after that. Caretaker hadn't cared. They were too absorbed in their own panic to care. Whumper was going to torture them both. They had to find a way out.

"Take me instead," Whumpee repeated. They didn't look at Caretaker. They didn't sound afraid. They stared at Whumper, their determination clear.

"You're volunteering for this?" Whumper cocked a brow. "You could die, Whumpee. Are you sure? You don't want to let Caretaker go in your place? They said some awful things earlier."

Whumpee nodded. "Take me. Hurt me. Leave Caretaker alone."

Whumper's grin grew. "Very well then, this will be fun, I can tell. You're going to prove to be quite the challenge, Whumpee." Whumper hurried over and unhooked Whumpee from the chains, still keeping their wrists cuffed. "We'll see how long you last. The brave ones either go pretty fast, or they last for a long time. Which flavor are you?"

Whumpee thrust their chin out. "You'll get to find out, but you can't hurt Caretaker."

Whumper nodded. "Yes, yes. Hurt you. Only you. Leave Caretaker alone. No problem."

Whumpee walked willingly with Whumper over to the large tub in the center of the room. It was rusty in spots and filled with cold, cold water. "Kneel," Whumper commanded.

Whumpee slowly got to their knees. They still didn't look at Caretaker. They stared straight ahead. Caretaker was too afraid to say anything. Too afraid to draw attention to themself. Surely Whumper would hold Whumpee under a few times and then leave them in a sopping sobbing mess.

"Let's see how long you can hold your breath for," Whumper said as they kicked Whumpee's legs wide and knelt between them. They held Whumpee briefly to their chest before shoving Whumpee's head below the surface.

Whumpee, to their credit, held very still for a while. They didn't move. Didn't thrash. Didn't try to buck Whumper off. They merely let their head be held under the water.

"Well this is dull," Whumper said as they held Whumpee's head beneath the water. "Let's make this more interesting." They punched Whumpee in the ribs hard.

Caretaker could see bubbles rush from Whumpee's lips. "That's cheating, Whumper! They weren't fighting!"

"Exactly," Whumper said as they put all their weight on the hand keeping Whumpee's head beneath the water. Whumpee bucked and thrashed wildly beneath Whumper's hand. "This is much more fun."

"They're drowning. You're killing them!" Caretaker shouted. Their heart hammered in their chest, fearing for Whumpee's life.

"They won't drown yet," Whumper said as they lifted Whumpee's head from the water. Whumpee gasped and choked, water spewing from their lips. "See? Not dead."

Before Whumpee could get a good breath or Caretaker could say anything, Whumper shoved Whumpee's head below the surface again. "Please! Don't kill them!" Caretaker begged. They had wanted to be spared. They had wanted to be safe. But they didn't want it to come at the cost of Whumpee being drowned to death.

"Killing them too quick will ruin my fun. I want this to last as long as possible."

Whumper repeated the process countless times. Caretaker's throat was raw from shouting at Whumper. But it hadn't mattered. Whumper had kept their word and only went after Whumpee. Caretaker remained untouched.

"Let's see if you can last just a bit longer, Whumpee. If you do, you're the longest lasting toy I've ever had. Isn't that wonderful?"

Whumpee's eyes were unfocused. Their chest heaved and it was unclear if they could even hear Whumper. Caretaker had to figure a way out. Whumpee couldn't last much longer.

Whumper shoved Whumpee completely into the tub, submerging Whumpee in the icy water. "This is much more fun this way."

"Whumper!" Caretaker shouted as Whumper stepped into the tub, pressing one boot on Whumpee to keep them below the water. Whumpee's legs flailed wildly as they tried to kick out. "Whumper! Let them go! Don't kill them, Whumper!"

Whumpee's foot connected with Whumper's knee and Whumper stumbled. With a growl, Whumper kicked Whumpee in the face. They knelt in the water, pinning Whumpee completely. Caretaker hollered and yelled for Whumper to stop, but Whumper couldn't hear over the splashing water. Whumper punched Whumpee over and over. Their anger was unrelenting. Rage contorted their features into a grotesque mask of anger.

Slowly, Whumpee's frantic kicking stopped. Slowly, Whumpee's thrashing in the water stopped. Slowly, the water grew still once more.

"Let them up, they can't breathe!" Caretaker urged Whumper.

But Whumper didn't acknowledge them. They ignored Caretaker and instead glared down at Whumpee beneath the water. "Whumper! Whumper!" Caretaker tried again. But Whumper ignored them.

Finally, after what felt an age, Whumper stood up. Caretaker didn't let out the breath they were holding. They wouldn't, not until they could see Whumpee breathing again. "Well, so much for longest lasting toy," Whumper finally said.

"What?" Caretaker's blood froze. No. No. This couldn't be true.

"I don't think anyone could have survived that, Caretaker. Whumpee's good, but five minutes below the water good? I don't think so."

"NO!"

Whumper reached beneath the water and grabbed Whumpee by the throat and lifted. Whumpee's head lolled in Whumper's hands. Their hair was plastered to their face, obscuring their features from view. Their limbs hung limply as Whumper lifted them higher. "Not my longest lasting, but certainly one of my most fun."

"Whumpee, Whumpee, say something!"

Whumper rolled their eyes. "Caretaker I told you, no one could have survived that long. Whumpee can't answer you. They're dead. See?"

Whumper tossed Whumpee like a ragdoll towards Caretaker. Whumpee landed in a heap where they remained unmoving. This couldn't be happening. Couldn't be true. Whumper stalked over and kicked Whumpee onto their back. Their body offered no resistance as they rolled.

"Whumpee, please," Caretaker whispered, refusing to believe Whumper. Whumper had lied before. Because if Whumper was telling the truth, then Whumpee had died in their place. After they said all of those awful things. Caretaker wouldn't be able to live with themself if this were true.

"Look, Caretaker, look," Whumper said with a dark chuckle as they brushed Whumpee's sopping hair off their face.

Something broke inside Caretaker as they stared into Whumpee's half lidded eyes. Something broke as they stared at Whumpee's slack jaw, their lips parted for the gulp of air they would never get. Something broke as they stared at Whumpee's lifeless body.

Caretaker sobbed, unable to articulate anything into words. This was their fault. This was all their fault. Whumpee was dead because they had been a coward. And they had said terrible things to Whumpee. And now Whumpee was dead. Had died thinking Caretaker hated them. Had died for Caretaker.

"Still," Whumper said as they stared down into Whumpee's lifeless eyes, "one of the most fun toys I've ever had. It's a shame they had to break."

Tags: @mousepaw @jumpywhumpywriter @knightinbatteredarmor @hufflepuffwritingstuff2 @anightmarishwhump

@steh-lar-uh-nuhs @celestialsoyeon @st0rmm @ay5ksal @pedro-pedro-pedro-pedro-pe

@artisticdemon

[angstober]

Welcome to another year of Angstober! We're delighted to unveil the prompts for this year of angsty, spooky fun.

What is Angstober?

Angstober is a yearly October challenge with 31 angst-themed prompts to inspire you to create. The challenge is open to all sorts of creative work - writing, art, edits, whatever you want - in whatever medium you want. Original work or fanworks? Whatever you feel inspired for!

How do I take part?

Tag your works with #angstober2024 and the day of the prompt (e.g., #day 01) to share on tumblr. Feel free to @ us directly in the post as well! To share your work on AO3, add it to the Angstober 2024 collection.

You can post your works whenever - early or late - and use as many or as few prompts as you feel inspired for! We'll do our best to reblog as many works to the @angstober blog as we can.

Is there a banner to post my work with?

Absolutely!

Anything else?

Nope. Happy Angsting!

2024 Prompt List

Again

2. Countdown

3. Self-Destruction

4. Blood

5. Do Better

6. Medication

7. “You Still Don’t Get It.”

8. Growing Pains

9. Promise

10. Humiliation

11. Wake Up

12. Rotten Touch

13. Shaking

14. Only Around You

15. False Hope

16. No One Else To Turn To

17. “Shhh…”

18. Falling Stars

19. Tear-Stained Cheek

20. Spare Me

21. Abandoned

22. Crocodile Tears

23. Safe/Unsafe

24. Dark Sunrise

25. You’re No Better

26. Persuasion

27. Curled Up

28. Perfect

29. Get Out

30. Nothing Else To Tell You

31. It Ends Here

[oikawaweon]

hi everyone! i've truly wanted to do this for such a long time and i finally decided to step up on it so i'll give it a try! this year i'll be using @angstober's prompts (and banner), and while i don't expect this to blow up, i hope someone will appreciate it as much as i do!

RULES: i'll be writing only for haikyuu! and jjk! also, most of these will not be proof-written since i'll almost write daily (so sorry in advance). afab!reader, no use of y/n, and although every drabble/fic will consider mdni and tws, i won't be blocking anyone,, y'all responsible for what you read and honestly idc as long as you enjoy it lol

MASTERLIST:

DAY 1: "AGAIN" ft. toru oikawa

DAY 2: COUNTDOWN ft kento nanami

DAY 3: SELF DESTRUCTION ft satoru gojo

DAY 4: BLOOD ft yuta okkotsu

DAY 5: "DO BETTER" ft kozume kenma

DAY 6: MEDICATION ft megumi fushiguro

DAY 7: "YOU STILL DON'T GET IT" ft toji fushiguro

DAY 8: GROWING PAINS ft koshi sugawara

DAY 9: "PROMISE" ft suguru geto

DAY 10: HUMILIATION ft rintaro suna

DAY 11: "WAKE UP" ft toge inumaki

DAY 12: ROTTEN TOUCH ft ryomen sukuna

DAY 13: SHAKING ft yuji itadori

DAY 14: "ONLY AROUND YOU" ft kei tsukishima

DAY 15: FALSE HOPE ft ryomen sukuna

DAY 16: NO ONE ELSE TO TURN TO ft satoru gojo

DAY 17: "SHHH..." ft tetsuro kuroo

DAY 18: FALLING STARS ft shoyo hinata

DAY 19: TEAR-STAINED CHEEK ft tobio kageyama

DAY 20: "SPARE ME" ft toji fushiguro

DAY 21: ABANDONED ft oikawa toru

DAY 22: CROCODILE TEARS ft atsumu miya

DAY 23: SAFE/UNSAFE ft megumi fushiguro

DAY 24: DARK SUNRISE ft kento nanami

DAY 25: "YOU'RE NO BETTER" ft kei tsukishima

DAY 26: PERSUASION ft suguru geto

DAY 27: CURLED UP ft tadashi yamaguchi

DAY 28: PERFECT ft choso kamo

DAY 29: "GET OUT" ft rintaro suna

DAY 30: "NOTHING ELSE TO TELL YOU" ft megumi fushiguro

DAY 31: "IT ENDS HERE" ft satoru gojo

feel free to reach out anytime, and i really hope you stay!

sincerely,

oikawaweon<3

[wwooyology]

Hate Me, Please | J.WY

「prompt」 : nothing else to tell you 「pairing」 : wooyoung x fem!reader 「word count」 : 1.2k

「synopsis」 : wooyoung, following his father's words, packed to leave even as you tried to figure out why. he didn't want you to chase after him like he knew you would so he did the only thing he could think of, make you hate him. yet he didn't know that you could never hate him, no matter what he did.

「genre」 : angst

「warnings」 : cussing, crying, mentions of threats, wooyoung's dad is kind of a dick, lmk if I missed anything!!

「notes」 : wow... there's just one more day of angstober left, guys. this has been a long and angsty road, but I have to admit I enjoyed it. I feel like it was refreshing to write something a little different than your regular kinktober... anywho tomorrow is the final day, and I'm a little sad that it's ending, but I'll be back on my normal agenda soon. ALSO there is another Halloween special that is coming out tomorrow, so keep an eye out for that!!

masterlist ─ navi. ─ angstober list

Walking into your and Wooyoung’s apartment, you were met with the sound of loud rustling. Tossing your keys to the side, you quickly slipped off your shoes and made your way to your bedroom, where the noise was coming from. Looking into the room, you find your boyfriend tossing things from the closet onto the bed.

“Woo…” you called out to the male softly as you noticed the large luggage bag on the bed filled almost to the brim with his things. Seeing all of this could only make you think of one thing: that he was leaving, and it made your heart sink to the bottom of your stomach.

Wooyoung hadn’t heard a thing you said to him, far too occupied in his own mind to pay attention to the outside world. Until he turned around and found you standing in the doorway, staring at him with shocked and confused eyes.

He cursed under his breath; you weren’t supposed to be home until after he was gone. Averting his gaze, Wooyoung moved over to the bed and started folding more of the clothes to stick in his suitcase. Not saying a single word to you, which only made you feel more confused.

“Wooyoung, what’s going on?” Your voice shook slightly as you walked up to him, but he didn’t pay you any mind.

He wanted to have this all done before you got home so he wouldn’t have to see this look of heartbreak and confusion on your face. The last thing he wanted to do was leave you and everything you had built together behind, but he wasn’t left with much of a choice. His father had threatened your life if he didn’t listen, and he knew that his father would stick to his word, so he had to go.

Sure, he could have sat down with you and explained everything, but he knew you. You have tried to talk him out of it, saying that there were ways that he could get around this or even take you with him, and he knew that it would work because he always gave in to what you wanted. However, this time, he couldn’t. He also knew that you would go looking for him if he just up and disappeared, so he did the only thing he could think of to prevent that.

To make you hate him.

“I’m leaving. What does it look like?” His voice was cold. He spared you a single glance, and he instantly regretted seeing the hurt in your eyes.

“What?” You were hurt and confused, but by far more confused than anything; why had he decided to leave all of a sudden? Did something happen? You had so many questions you wanted to ask, but none of them would leave your tongue as you watched him continue to pack.

“I said I’m leaving. What about that do you not get?” He glared at you, and you took a small step back, completely bewildered by his behavior. "Now, if you’re just going to stand there asking stupid questions, then leave.”

Tears started to brim in your eyes, but you bit your lip, refusing to let them fall. You tried to think of any logical thing that you’ve done that would make him act like this, but you were coming up blank. Yet something about this didn’t seem right; it felt off.

That’s when something Wooyoung’s brother had said the other day clicked in your head.

‘Dad’s getting impatient. How much longer do you think you can push this off?’

He had been talking to Wooyoung in the office when you happened to walk up and overhear. You didn’t pay it any mind because his dad has always been on Wooyoung’s ass about certain things, which of course, you found mildly annoying, but what could you do?

“Does this have to do with your dad?” Your question made him freeze for a split second, and you knew you had your answer even if he wouldn’t say it out loud.

Wooyoung swallowed thickly, trying his best to keep his composure as he packed. How could you have known? Did you happen to overhear something one day? He started to rack his brain for any plausible cause of you finding out that he hadn’t even noticed you walking up to him.

“Wooyoung…” You called out to him, reaching for his arm but stopped short when you heard sniffles. The sound alone made your heartbreak, but when he turned with teary eyes, it completely shattered your soul.

“Why couldn’t you just let me make you hate me?” He asked, tears starting to fall from the corner of his eyes as he stared at you. He then turned and sat down on the bed, burying his face in his hands to hide the tears.

“Oh, my love, even if you were to leave like that, I would never hate you.” You spoke softly as you moved to stand in front of him, hand reaching out to lay on his shoulder, “I love you far too much to ever hate you.”

You didn’t even have a chance to react when he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him and burying his face in your stomach. There were no words spoken as you let him cry, trying to fight back your own tears as you ran your fingers through his hair.

After a few moments, you licked your lips and asked the dreaded question, “When do you leave?”

“My flight leaves tonight.” His voice was muffled against your skin as he didn’t move an inch, scared to let you go.

Silence filled the room once more as you mindlessly ran your fingers through his hair while trying to keep your composure. You tried to think of any possible solution that would get him out of leaving, but knowing how his father is, that wasn’t an option. Then you thought about possibly going with him, but it wasn’t like you could just up and leave your job on such short notice without repercussions.

“I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, maybe a year at most.” Wooyoung pulled away just a smidge to look up at you, his eyes bloodshot from crying, and tear streaks stained his cheeks. You reached down, cupping his face in your hands and wiping away any of the stray tears with a small, sad smile.

“I’ll wait for you," you told him confidently, and he opened his mouth to object, but you wouldn’t let him. "You could be gone for a month, six months, a year, or even five years, and I would still wait for you, Wooyoung.”

Your words struck him deeply, and more tears started to pool in his eyes as he stared up at you, wondering where he ever got lucky enough to find someone like you. He didn’t deserve you or your time, but you were more than willing to give all of your time if it meant he would still come back home to you.

Maybe his initial plan didn’t go as he thought it would, but he would much rather have this outcome than anything else. Even if it meant he had to say goodbye for a little while, he knew that you would be there waiting for him with open arms when he finally came back home.

@wwooyology | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work

𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.

[kamryn1963]

(2/2 Chapters)

TW: Implied\Referenced Rape

@angstober Prompt 24: Dark Sunrise

It had been a few days since that unforgettable day. Al had stayed with Hank and Camille at that time, but hadn’t left the spare room in two days. 

Until that morning. 

Hank was outside on the back porch, smoking as he watched the sunrise. He’d woken up early, barely able to sleep after hearing Al wake up screaming twice during the night. Hank had decided after showering and getting dressed for the day that he might as well watch the sunrise. 

It was supposed to be a gloomy rainy day and the sunrise reflected that. So there wasn’t a whole lot to look at. But Hank stayed out there, only moving when he heard footsteps. 

“Morning, Al”. Hank greeted, keeping his voice soft around his friend, as Al had been jumping at everything anytime he did come out of the bedroom. 

Al didn’t return the greeting, just stared at Hank blankly for a moment before sitting on the chair beside him and curling up the best he could. 

Hank offered the pack of cigarettes, which Al accepted. They both smoked in silence as they watched the sky, until Al spoke up. 

“I was raped”. 

Hank tried his hardest not to flinch at Al’s words but he wasn’t sure he was successful. This was the first time Al had said it out loud, and had confirmed Hank and Camille’s sickening suspicions. 

“I’m sorry”. Hank whispered. Because what was Hank supposed to say in a situation like this?

“Victor did it. My CI told me about this gang and was undercover with me. God Hank, I tried to stop him it just happened so fast”. Al’s voice broke at the end and Hank felt his own tears come to his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, Al. I’m so sorry that happened”. 

Hank moved his chair closer to Al, close enough he wasn’t touching Al but he was there if Al needed him. 

Al started sobbing and Hank could only sit there and whisper soft words like he had the first night, hoping it would help but knowing it wasn’t. Hank hated this, the nightmare his best friend was forced to live through all because of this job. The job Al loved, that he devoted himself to just for it to end up like this. 

“I’m going to help you, Al. He won’t get away with this”. Hank stated, and he meant every word. 

“Promise?” Al whispered and Hank had to take a deep breath as Al sounded so damn young right now. 

Twenty five. Al was only twenty five. The thought made Hank want to track Victor down right now but he couldn’t. Al needed him and he was Hank’s priority right now and would be for as long as Al needed. 

Al came first. Family always did. 

Hank looked out into the dark sunrise again as he nodded. 

“I promise Al”. 

The next night, Hank made good on that promise and made sure that Victor Davis could never hurt another soul again.

[bilightningwhumper]

Bilightningwhumper's Angstober 2024 Collection

*planned queued posts to be at 4:45pm each day until the end of October; links here will updated sometime after because I have work when the posts are queued*

Excerpts using prompts from @angstober for my planned "Shadow of a Shield" (MCU fic collection), "The New Eden Institution" (fairy tale retelling fic collection), and "Temptations of Fate" (Romeo and Juliet Angels/Demons AU variation fic). So, warnings for spoilers ahead, but I'm doing my best to keep them minimal. Short and sweet. Well, short and angsty, lol.

"Shadow of a Shield" chapters will be labeled with "SoaS" in the title

"The New Eden Institution" ones with "TNEI"

"Temptations of Fate" with "ToF"

Hope you enjoy!

Day 1- Again- TNEI

Fic: Final Piece (The Last Unicorn retelling) PoV: Galen- Last Unicorn Summary: Galen has a choice to make

Day 2- Countdown- ToF

Fic: Temptations of Fate (Romeo and Juliet Angels/Demons AU retelling) PoV: Morgan- Romeo Summary: Morgan and the team preparing to attack for the last stand

Day 3- Self-Destruction- TNEI

Fic: Missed Shot (Robin Hood retelling) PoV: Marianne- Maid Marian Summary: Marianne has an abrupt intervention

Day 4- Blood- TNEI

Fic: Dead End (Bluebeard + Hansel and Gretel retelling) PoV: Henry- Hansel Summary: Henry gets a call from Ruben after a bad mission

Day 5- Do Better- TNEI

Fic: Bruised Apple (Snow White retelling) PoV: Darcy- Snow White Summary: It's hard to please her stepmother when everything Darcy does is wrong

Day 6- Medication- TNEI

Fic: Hollow Mirror (Alice in Wonderland retelling) PoV: Reid- Red Knave Summary: Reid has difficulties helping Natalie

Day 7- “You Still Don’t Get It.”- TNEI

Fic: Missed Shot (Robin Hood retelling) PoV: Marianne- Maid Marian Summary: Marianne can't hide her worry about Robin

Day 8- Growing Pains- SoaS

Fic: When an Angel Falls... (Becca's story) PoV: Becca- Steve and Bucky's daughter Summary: Becca goes to one of her dads for help preening her wings

Day 9- Promise- TNEI

Fic: Dead End (Bluebeard + Hansel and Gretel retelling) PoV: Ruben- Bluebeard's final wife Summary: Ruben asks Henry an important favor

Day 10- Humiliation- TNEI

Fic: Royal Makeover (Frog Prince retelling) PoV: Wayland- Frog Prince Summary: Against his will, Wayland is forced to attend his first party as Lorainne's bird

Day 11- Wake Up- TNEI

Fic: Weary Rest (Sleeping Beauty retelling) PoV: Petal Sleeping Beauty Summary: Petal has an unexpected reunion

Day 12- Rotten Touch- TNEI

Fic: Bruised Apple (Snow White retelling) PoV: Darcy- Snow White Summary: Darcy has a nightmare

Day 13- Shaking- TNEI

Fic: "Royal Makeover" (Frog Prince retelling) PoV: Max- Princess Summary: Max helps Wayland take a bath

Day 14- Only Around You- TNEI

Fic: "Just Right" (Goldilocks retelling) PoV: Oscar- Talia's husband Summary: Oscar and Tressa bond a little bit

Day 15- False Hope- TNEI

Fic: "Final Piece" (The Last Unicorn retelling) PoV: Galen- Last Unicorn Summary: Another attempt at freedom fails for Galen

Day 16- No One Else To Turn To- TNEI

Fic: "Dead End" (Bluebeard + Hansel and Gretel retelling) PoV: Henry- Hansel Summary: Henry takes a leap of faith with his sister

Day 17- “Shhh…”- TNEI

Fic: "Weary Rest" (Sleeping Beauty retelling) PoV: Petal- Sleeping Beauty Summary: A proposition is met with... an unexpected response

Day 18- Falling Stars- ToF

Fic: "Temptations of Fate" (Romeo and Juliet Angels/Demons AU retelling) PoV: Evangeline- Juliet Summary: A proposition is met with... an unexpected response

Day 19- Tear-Stained Cheek

Day 20- Spare Me

Day 21- Abandoned

Day 22- Crocodile Tears

Day 23- Safe/Unsafe

Day 24- Dark Sunrise

Day 25- You’re No Better

Day 26- Persuasion

Day 27- Curled Up

Day 28- Perfect

Day 29- Get Out

Day 30- Nothing Else To Tell You

Day 31- It Ends Here

Full collection on Ao3 (or will be at the end of October, lol) here:

[betweenthetimeandsound]

--"spare me" prompt from @angstober

Draw metal from its sheath, and lay it on my palm. It will never turn into gold, but let it transmute this once.

I walk onto the earth-- it will not crack, but it will erupt. Hands will grab onto it and send me away as if on a sail.

Spare me from the lava, and spare me from the sun, for which the goddess shines on a penitent gone astray.

Author's Note: A draft poem of something from the realms would pray during times of crisis.

[marvelstoriesepic]

Trick or treat! 👻 🎃

Happy trick or treating 🎃🍁

Thank you so much for sending me this!! 🧡💛

I guess I'll give you the confirmation that I am indeed planning on a part two of my first angstober fic (Humiliation) since I never received such reviews for any fic before and it made me so happy.

I'm planning on making it another angstober prompt. (Spare me)

Perhaps I'll make it as angsty as the first part but I'm also open for a happy end, or at least a little bit of fluff. If you read it and have an opinion on this please let me know!!

[spell-cleaver]

DAY 22: WHUMPTOBER: Do These Tacos Taste Funny To You? - Poisoned @whumptober2020​ 

DAY 23: WHUMPTOBER: What’s A Whumpee Gotta Do To Get Some Sleep Around Here? - Exhaustion

DAY 28: WHUMPTOBER: Such Wow. Many Normal. Much Oops. - Accidents

DAY 10: ANGSTOBER: Poisoning @angstober​

As you can see, this one covers several prompts, I was being thrifty with this, but here we are.

“You,” his partner told him, “are an excellent dancer.”

Luke smiled at her. “You’re not too bad yourself,” he told her, spinning her around again—and it was true. Leia had the poise to her that he would never been able to achieve, twenty years raised as his father’s heir or not, and she always made him look better when they danced together.

Which was just another reason to dance with her, as if the opportunity for clandestine discussion it offered wasn’t good enough.

The song ended and they bowed to each other, Luke smiling at her and about to ask for another one when he caught a glimpse of something over her shoulder—his father, watching him. He inclined his helmet ever so slightly and Luke took his leave of Leia to move towards him, gracefully turning down another courtier who tried to talk to him, picking up the drink he’d put aside for the dancing and taking another sip from it.

“How badly are you suffering, Father?” he asked, stifling a yawn now that he was away from the public eye. It was past midnight, he’d been here since sundown, and he was tired.

“Terribly,” came the response. “Every new moment in this ballroom is an agony.”

Luke laughed to himself, though his heart twinged at the fact he knew it was true, in a much more literal sense.

But that wasn’t exactly something he could help.

Vader eyed the glass in Luke’s hand judgementally and Luke took another sip, almost defensively. “Did you call me over here as a favour because you could tell how exhausted I was? Or was there something you wanted to talk about?”

Vader folded his arms behind his back and started walking—slowly, so Luke could keep up with his massive strides—towards and through the side corridor that led off from the ballroom. Luke hurried after him, frowning, very aware that Leia’s gaze was burning into his back.

“Father?” he called after him, then repeated when he’d caught up and was walking by his side. “Where are we going?”

“The Emperor has requested your presence,” Vader said. “Something about your composure at this ball.”

Luke frowned. “I was under the impression I was doing well—that was why he left me to my own devices.” Palpatine had sat and watched over the room for much of the night, at first, before he’d retired, claiming that it was time for the youths to have their fun. Luke had no idea what he’d meant by that, but he hadn’t partaken in anything near as fun as His Majesty seemed to have been expecting.

“And you were,” Vader said. “Perhaps that is what he wishes to speak to you about.”

Luke nodded. He was already tired—trying to untangle Palpatine’s machinations now was making him feel dizzy. He had a headache.

“That’s plausible, I suppose— Oh.” He blinked, and suddenly he was on the floor staring. The glass that had been in his hand was in pieces on the floor, his drink seeped across and between the flagstones, mingling with something red. He glanced at his hand and winced. Blood and shards, embedded in his palm.

He glanced at his other arm and found that had not been spared either—minor cuts grazed it all the way down.

“Oh,” he said, blinking slowly. “That…”

His father was watching him. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah… It was just an accident.” Luke blinked again, then gingerly pushed himself to his feet, wincing. The poor servants would have to see that and clean it up; he should probably go to the medbay to get the glass in his hands taken out, get some bandages…

But no excuse would satisfy his father’s master. Not if he was late. So when his father started walking again, he kept pace, and when they reached the grand double doors of the throne room he strode in without hesitation, hands still seeping blood.

Even when he noticed that no royal guards were in attendance.

He strode right in.

Palpatine was on his throne, though the shadows seemed darker and longer today than they usually did—Luke didn’t take a moment to dwell on why. Nor did he want to think about why he was suddenly so… weak, bowing and kneeling before his Emperor, his legs trembling, feeling like he was about to throw up.

He had nothing to fear.

He had nothing to fear, did he?

“Luke,” Palpatine said warmly, “how are you finding the celebrations?”

Luke kept his head bowed and respectful, knee still to the floor. “As spectacular as ever, Your Majesty. Though I grow more and more tired as the evening drags on.”

“Ah, yes,” Palpatine said, rising from his throne. “I imagine you had a busy day, committing treason.”

For a moment those words didn’t compute—then Luke jerked his head up in shock, mouth agape as he stared. “What? Your Majesty, I—ah!”

There were tight hands—solid, durasteel hands—around his wrists, constricting, digging the glass further in. He cried out.

His father did not release his grip.

“Do you deny it?” Palpatine continued, coming down the steps with a thud, thud, thud of his cape. “I am aware that the moment I left the ballroom, you were passing intelligence to the Princess Leia. Did you think you could get it past me?”

Luke coughed, head spinning now, pain clouding everything crimson. “Master— Father—”

“Do you deny it?” Vader rumbled, right in his ear. He sounded angry.

No, Father, no, I never meant to betray you, it wasn’t you I turned my back on, no—

He opened his mouth—to say what, he didn’t know—

“I have the princess in custody as well. Whatever you say, she will be searched—and if you are found to be lying, in whatever you say, she will be killed. I am certain that she is carrying smuggled information on her person, but if I am found to be mistaken, then the both of you will live. If you tell the truth, and you were both Rebels… I can promise her amnesty. Only if you cooperate.”

Luke swallowed.

There wasn’t any choice to make there.

“Yes,” he confessed. “I passed information to her.”

Vader constricted his grip and Luke cried out, blood running in rivulets down his wrists.

Palpatine raised an eyebrow at it as it dripped onto his polished floor. “Had a little accident, did we? My my, you don’t appear to be in your right mind—perhaps that is as good an explanation for treason against the men who gave you everything as any.”

Luke wasn’t in his right mind—he could see that now; or rather, he couldn’t see. Everything blurred in a cackling of colours and no matter how much he blinked, it would not clear.

But still, the realisation filtered through the haze.

“Poison,” he choked out.

“Yes. I never expected Lord Vader to be so talented at subtlety, but here we are.” Palpatine stepped ever closer, until his robes brushed Luke’s knees, towering over him. “We agreed that if I was wrong, we would give you the antidote. But if I was correct…”

His foot lashed out, then, and pain exploded in Luke side; he was shoved hard onto the floor, head hitting and ringing. He spat blood.

“Well, it would be wrong to give an antidote to a traitor. So enjoy your last few moments of life, dear Luke—I know you have been the Fulcrum agent in our midst for years. I know you have actively worked against us. I am sure your death with be painful enough to make up for all of that.”

Palpatine bent down to stare him in the eye, those sickly irises like searchlights.

Then there was a flash of red.

Luke shouted, yanking back as heat burned against his face, and— and—

Palpatine fell back with a wheeze.

There was something cold at Luke’s lips—he spat and choked and struggled, but then something cold was in his mouth and down his throat and in his head.

“What!?” He coughed, sitting up—when had Vader released him—and glaring. Everything still spun, but he was fairly sure that black blob was his father. “What— what are you— you poisoned me—”

“And you betrayed me,” Vader snapped, and Luke flinched. There was an entire maelstrom of fury there, just under the surface, and he couldn’t… “But you are alive. You had the antidote. The Emperor is dead.”

Luke, with his slowly clearing vision, glanced at Palpatine—and flinched at the body he saw there. “You…”

“Stabbed him. Yes.”

“Why?”

“He was going to kill you. You’re a traitor.”

“What? I don’t understand—”

“I poisoned you,” his father declared, and his words were a thunderclap, “to save your life.”

[smallblip]

Rest in peace, Paradise

Written for Levihan Angstober (Prompt: greeting/farewell/free spot)

Levihan | + the vets | Rated for mild language | I’ve weaved in moments from the manga, so to be safe, avoid if you don’t want spoilers?

It’s on Ao3! https://archiveofourown.org/works/27247006

Levi and Hanji go on a road trip to the sea with a stop at Paradise Inn. They dream of greetings, farewells, and all the love in between. 

But I cannot forget that, at other times I have been deceived in sleep by similar illusions; and, attentively considering those cases, I perceive so clearly that there exist no certain marks by which the state of waking can ever be distinguished from sleep, that I feel greatly astonished; and in amazement I almost persuade myself that I am now dreaming. - Rene Descartes

Levi wakes to a soft buzzing- frantic at times, but it comes and goes. Nevertheless it brings him out of a deep slumber. And he’s caught in a haze. In this moment, Levi doesn’t distinguish between dreams and reality, there’s little point in dichotomising two sides of the same coin. He feels for the familiar warmth beside him but his fingers meet with cool sheets.

“You’re awake...”

The voice cuts through the haze and paints vivid reality. Levi is awake.

“Morning,” he murmurs against her pillow, “the wasp wants out, Hanji.”

Hanji chuckles, and Levi appreciates how slow everything moves in the morning, how gentle everything seems in the light that filters through the day curtains.

“Can’t have you build a home here can we...” Hanji says, leaning to open the windows. She pushes the air around it with her palm, guiding it, and the wasp disappears into the sunlight, past the sign that says ‘Paradise Inn’. Levi slides his arms around Hanji’s waist, head coming to rest on her shoulder.

“Sleep well?” She says, busying herself with the dishes they had abandoned last night in favour of other, more exciting endeavours.

“Had a dream...”

“Ah... About you and me versus the man-eating giants again?”

Levi frowns at Hanji’s handiwork, there’s still soap on the dishes she left to dry on the rack, but he snaps out of it when she wipes her hands on her pants and turns to plant a kiss on his head. “Not this time... We were lying in a forest, just talking...”

“What about?”

“Staying there together... I don’t know... Building a shitty cottage with damp wood... Gathering berries... Stuff like that.”

“That sounds cute...” Hanji says, she lets out a sigh when Levi kisses her, tender.

“This is better...” he says, and Hanji is swaying them to a tune stuck in her head.

“Aren’t you a charmer this morning...”

—

Levi sees her around the first day they check into the motel. She is Autumn manifest- the girl with the orange hair and the auburn eyes.

She looks at Levi, and he mostly tries to ignore it, except he finds he’s unable to.

“I think she likes you!” Hanji teases, and she makes it a point to wave at the girl whenever they see her. The girl waves back.

Levi, with his limited capacity for niceties, returns her gaze with a glower. And she approaches him one day, when he’s getting ice from the reception.

“Hey...” she says, “I’m Petra.”

“I’m Levi.” He replies, eyes narrowing, “you stare a lot Petra.”

“Ah... Sorry about that...” she rubs at the back of her neck sheepishly, “you just look like someone I used to know... I looked up to him a lot you see... So it’s a little jarring seeing you here.”

Levi sees how young she is from the uncertainty in her speech to the gentleness that she exudes when she faces the world.

“I’ll take that as a compliment...” he says.

Petra laughs, bright as a bell, a little embarrassed. She shrugs. “Anyways... I can’t stay around to stare any longer. I’m leaving today!” She gestures at her luggage.

He bids her farewell. When Levi sees the sadness in her eyes, he fights the urge to tell her to stay a little longer.

She’s got places to be and time waits for no one. Not for the pull of familiarity and the emptiness of new acquaintances.

—

They are on their way to the beach. It’s a year in the making, starting with their big move closer to the shores. They have never seen the sea, and Hanji thinks maybe, more than a bucket list, it’s a call. A whisper in her ears. And Levi hears it too, in the steady thrum of her heartbeat, like the ebb and flow of foamy waves.

They mark one pit stop before the beach, not out of necessity, but because Hanji thinks it would be nice to spend the night in a motel. I’ve never done it before, she says. It’s the early morning when they arrive. Hanji is snoring in the passenger seat and Levi pinches her nose to wake her. She snorts and struggles and they find themselves staring at the sign. The big neon “Paradise Inn” bright amidst a dark sky, competing with the moon itself. It’s perfect Kitsch cliche and Hanji chuckles. She adores it.

“We’re lovers in a motel, Levi!” She clasps her hands and coos in mock romanticism. “This is what novels are made of!”

“Aren’t we a little too old for that, Hanji?” Levi replies, hand coming to ruffle Hanji’s hair. She catches his hand and kisses his palm, “Maybe it’s time to catch up on what we’ve missed out on then...”

—

The sky spills orange and gold, and they only stir when the sun paints a glow behind their eyelids. This is real life. Levi is sure. It had been a dreamless sleep. Just darkness one moment, and light the other. Hanji is curled up against him, head on his chest.  Her eyes flutter open, and she smiles, and Levi thinks this is paradise.

They put in an extension for their stay at the motel, because it doesn’t seem right to leave just yet. Levi goes back on what he had said about motels being places of the barest of necessities, because this is actually really nice.

They spend the whole day in bed.

“Do you think we could get a dog when we get back home?” Hanji says, she’s looking at Levi with the most earnest look she can manage. And his resolve crumbles a little. Just a little.

“What do you want a dog for?” Levi says, ever practical, and Hanji thinks it’s a useful control mechanism.

Nevertheless, she chuckles at the odd phrasing and pouts for show, “Not for anything... To take care of? To love?”

“Don’t we have each other for that?”

“Yes and I’ve got my hands full with you!” Hanji runs her fingers across Levi’s ribs where it tickles and he crumples. His hands move fast to retaliate and between wrestling Hanji and dodging her flailing arms, he manages to correct her because really, he‘s got his hands full with her.

Levi’s got both her wrists in his hands and she’s completely subdued, and Hanji uses the one trick she has up her sleeve. She stops resisting, relaxing into his hold, expression soft and wanting. She hooks her legs around his waist and draws him in. Levi releases his grip on her almost instantly and kisses her. She revels in this little pattern they’ve fallen into. She knows him enough to establish certain predictability. It’s assuring and she thinks this is the essence of a good life.

“I love our little home Levi... And you... And I also think I’ve got love to spare for a dog.” Hanji makes the proposal with finesse and a practiced ease, and Levi grunts a reply.

“Maybe...” he says, hands stroking bare skin where Hanji’s shirt has ridden up. She has her back against his chest, but she can hear the beginnings of a smile in his voice.

“Maybe is good...” Hanji smiles, eyes heavy and blinking. She can work with ‘maybe’.

—

Levi dreams of man-eating giants. It's a macabre dream. Hanji searches it up and she says that could represent some inner insecurity. But Levi is used to feeling small, he's been small all his life. Besides, that doesn't explain why Hanji's there too in his dreams. They're perched on a wall, back to back, the giants come close, but he doesn't feel anything close to fear. He knows with certainty they will win. And they do.

But the dream morphs, and her back is no longer against his. He feels fear for the first time. He searches for her. He asks the others. When he finally finds her, her glasses are smashed and they can't save her eye. But she's alive. Levi remembers taking her harness off with finesse. And he remembers the warmth of her body against his, fevered from battle. Levi shuts his eyes.

When he opens them, Hanji is there. Hair splayed against thinning motel pillows. He listens to the steady exhale that follows the inhale. He traces a finger from her forehead, skimming gently past her eyelid, down to where her lips are parted in sleep. Hanji awakens at the touch, and she's blinking at him, confused.

"Four eyes..." Levi says, brushing against the corner of her left eye with his thumb. The relief of reality washing over him.

"Am at most a two eyes now... My glasses..." She murmurs, pointing to her glasses on the bedside table. She falls back asleep almost instantly.

Levi chuckles, pulling her closer.

—

They had spent the night drinking at the bar in town. It’s the next morning and Hanji thinks they’ve been lazing around too much, pretending they’ve got hangovers to nurse. Not that she’s complaining really, the way Levi has his arms around her, the way his hair feels combed through her fingers. Time is a quick march towards death, but it stills it’s pace in these moments. Hanji wants to live in these moments forever- the moments between earnest kisses and fingers dancing absently across skin.

She abandons her busy thoughts in moments like these. There will always be another opportunity to talk Levi’s ear off about work.

“Hey Levi...” Hanji says, something is bubbling in her chest and she can no longer contain it. “Wanna get married?”

Levi blinks. He wonders if he’s asleep, if this is just a really nice dream. He’s been having good dreams lately, it provides a kind respite from the harshness of reality. But Hanji continues, matter of fact, “it’s no big deal, we’ve made promises before...”

“You don’t have to give an answer right away... I’m just putting it out there. If you wanna get carried away one day, you know who to call.” Hanji says, winking.

The alarm blares from the distance and they get dressed. Levi tests the strap on her chest and it’s a convenient excuse to pull her closer. He kisses her like an oath.

“Let’s try to survive today first four eyes, then we can talk about forever.”

Hanji mocks a salute and laughs.

—

They meet by chance in the reception. Mike is struggling to get the inn-keeper’s attention. You just gotta yell, he’s a bit hard of hearing, and Hanji does just that. Mike gets his towels. And when they shake hands, a warmth courses through her body- the warmth of an old friend. And something like nostalgia pinches her nerves.

She feels it intensify when Mike introduces her to a blonde girl- all limbs like Hanji. She sports an undercut.

Her name is Nanaba.

— Mike tells Levi he smells like fresh laundry, and Levi makes a face.

“Sorry... Can’t help it... Got a good nose...” Mike says, and Levi panics internally. If only Hanji were here, she’s got a penchant for abnormals, being one herself. Well, that also probably explains why she handles Levi so well.

But here he is, looking up at a painful angle at Mike.

They get buzzed on cheap beers later and play fussball with Nanaba and Hanji. Mike and Levi learn they make a great team. The other two don’t stand a chance against them.

—

Hanji feels the shock of déjà vu during the quick sprint Nanaba makes with her from the pool to the shelter. The sudden downpour dashing their plans of getting a tan.

“You know I dreamt of you once, Nana...”

“What about!” Nanaba says, she’s handing Hanji a towel to dry herself off.

She tells Nanaba she doesn’t really remember. But she does remember taking shelter from the rain with her and feeling an overwhelming sense of comfort.

And you told me everything is more beautiful after the rain...

Nanaba chuckles as she takes in Hanji’s state of dishevelment, her eyes hold only affection. “I guess that applies to people too!”

Hanji laughs and links her arm with Nanaba’s. The forecast shows showers all afternoon, and they decide it’s not a bad idea to go swimming.

—

Hanji tells Levi there’s a familiarity in all of this. In them meeting and hanging out with Nanaba and Mike and growing close over the course of a few days.

And Levi finds himself swept up in the liminality. He watches as Nanaba and Hanji dance by the fireplace, Mike reclining beside him, he’s smiling at the scene. They talk mostly about the best teas they’ve tried and discuss running a hypothetical tea shop in the city. They settle into a comfortable silence. Levi wonders if it’s possible to feel nostalgia for a life he has never led.

—

Hanji and Levi meet Erwin at breakfast at the donut joint next to the motel one day. He’s sitting with Mike and Nanaba, all eyebrows and blond comb back and the build of a Football player.

And the picture pains Hanji in a way that’s almost melancholic. She sees them chatting over donuts and coffee and the melancholy fades to sweetness. And she knows Levi feels something too, because he’s staring at the scene before him, and he’s confused. But being with Hanji has made him more comfortable living in the margins of what makes sense and going with the flow, so he relaxes as they make their way towards the table.

There isn’t enough space, what with Mike and Erwin occupying most of it, so they sit at the next table. And they realise the three of them are acquainted, just that Erwin holes himself in his room a lot, “catching up on being a bum... It’s been so busy all these years...” he says.

“Erwin is on vacation to find himself,” Nanaba explains and Erwin chuckles. “It’s a mid-life crisis of sorts...” he says, dusting at the powdered sugar that had gathered in the stubble on his chin. There’s an ease and confidence that comes with experience, and Erwin has just that, his severity fading behind a deep chuckle and a trove of stories to tell.

And they talk and laugh like they’ve known each other for years.

—

“Ah Levi... It’s you...” Erwin says, before training his eyes back on the horizon. They are on top of the walls and the day has just broken.

“Never saw you as a sunrise type of person...” Levi says.

“Oh... Didn’t you know? I can be quite the romantic...” Erwin laughs, the crease in his brows disappearing. Levi rolls his eyes. Even after all these years he refuses to let Erwin get too haughty with his humour. But it makes Erwin painfully human and vulnerable. Even so, Levi follows him.

“The new recruits have been talking about the sea.”

Erwin chuckles, he had been young once, so he understands. Even now, Erwin understands. It’s easy to dream, give yourself to the world. Not so easy to convince the world to give a piece of it in return. “Dreaming is good... Keeps us all young.”

“Puts ideas in their heads... Even Hanji has been talking about the sea... Wouldn’t stop going on about it...” Levi says, annoyed, but Erwin recognises the look in his eyes. Erwin had been in love once, so he understands.

“Well... Sounds like a good vacation spot once all of this is over.”

Levi doesn’t really imagine an end to all of this, it’s really hard to. But when he does, he feels the soft promise of a hand in his.

Levi hears the waves crashing into shore.

“Then you better keep dreaming and get us there.” Levi says, and Erwin is chuckling. “Sounds like a plan,” he replies.

--

“Hypothetically, if we did put in a greenhouse in our backyard, how big do you think it could reasonably be?” Hanji says, adding in a, “hypothetically speaking...” when Levi frowns. It’s sunny out and they’re sitting on one of the deck chairs by the pool. Hanji has her book on her stomach and her hands shield her eyes from the sun as she turns to look at Levi.

Levi sighs, abandoning his book for this conversation. “Does this hypothetical situation involve us building said greenhouse by ourselves?”

“You know it’s part of the fun, Levi!” Hanji says and she chuckles when Levi groans.

“Hypothetically speaking, the size of our bathroom.”

“That’s really small...” Hanji says, contemplating.

“It’s enough for your hypothetical vegetables...”

“Not enough for my cabbages...” Hanji sighs, “hypothetical cabbages...” she adds when Levi narrows his eyes. She’s laughing. If only Levi knew what was in store for him when they got home. She’s been researching the best way to build a greenhouse and she’s got a whole proposal ready.

They will have cabbages for home-made sauerkraut and it will be lovely.

—

Hanji is no stranger to bad dreams, but this particular one had been really, really bad. She jolts awake in bed, breathing heavy, gaze fixed on an imaginary point on the wall.

“Hanji-“ before Levi could ask, Hanji is hugging him. She’s squeezing him tight and desperate like she’s trying to will him into permanence. Her breathing evens and Levi can feel her heartbeat steady where his chest is pressed flushed against hers. Skin against clammy skin.

“Bad dream?” He asks, carding his fingers through her hair, unknotting where he can manage.

“The worst...” she answers, her fingers gripping Levi’s arms still, head buried in his shoulder.

”We were in a river, the currents were so strong and I was losing my grip on you. I peddled so hard... But you were hurt... You were going under Levi...”

“Dreaming about me dying in large bodies of water... Kind of shitty of you when we’re going to the beach...” he says, and already she’s laughing- nervous at first, but it soon grows into something that lets him know she’s going to be okay.

Levi scoots them both so his back is against the headboard and her head is on his chest.

The dream fucks with Hanji and it shows in the way her knuckles turn white from gripping the sheets. She squints her eyes shut and she sees the rush of white water behind her lids, roaring and unforgiving, the currents are strong and Hanji is so so tired.

“You're alright...” Levi says, and it’s enough to silence the scream of the currents. His calloused fingers soothe into her skin. She’s holding his hand now, falling asleep against him. She thinks she can taste the salt in the air, and everything is okay.

—

Hanji and Levi contemplate extending their stay again, but the ocean is calling and they feel themselves stretched in opposite directions. Hanji lingers in the reception, she takes a few steps towards the counter and she stops, pacing back to the wall where the maps and pamphlets are tacked.

“Thinking of extending your stay?” It’s Erwin, dressed for a day of doing absolutely nothing- old gym shorts and a faded singlet.

“Yeah...” Hanji says, and they end up sitting on the steps leading up to the reception. Hange bums a cigarette off Erwin. Don’t usually smoke, but it fits the whole poetry of a mid-life crisis doesn’t it? he says and Hanji laughs. She loves a good cliche.

“This whole stay has been...” Hanji starts, but she decides it’s self explanatory. It’s been an absolute dream. So she continues with “you know Erwin... Before meeting you, Levi had a dream about you once...”

“What about?” Erwin says, curious.

“Hmm... Something about standing on walls and watching the sun rise...”

“Interesting...” Erwin replies with a chuckle, “I am a sunrise kind of guy... And I probably have the sort of face people find familiar huh...”

They talk about dreams and memories. Did you know Freud once hypothesised that dreams are a way the brain tries to work through what we leave unresolved in real life? It’s a way the brain deals with repressed wishes, Hanji says. She is in love with the beauty of it all, and Erwin is too. He makes a mental note of it.

It’s silent for a while when Erwin brings it up. “You should get going... To the beach I mean... If you wait any longer the currents are going to get more violent and you can’t swim then...” He’s smiling, warm and assuring, “not that I don’t enjoy your company... Or Levi’s for that matter...”

And Hanji is smiling back, with a melancholy that fills her bones. It’s silly, and she feels young and small again. They can always make plans, meet again, maybe Erwin can bring that special someone he talks about- Marie- who works at a bar in his hometown. She leans her head against Erwin’s shoulder and feels the tension in her chest unknot. Her cigarette now abandoned between her fingers, but the smoke performs a complex dance as it passes their eyes.

“We’ll send you a postcard of the ocean!” She says, bright, like a promise. And Erwin takes her word for it.

—

They leave the next morning. Levi makes their bed and tidies the room and even to a trained eye, the room appears untouched. Hanji thinks there’s something romantic about transience, and she sees it through the tears in her own eyes as she says goodbye.

“Hanji... Stop crying!” Nanaba says, fingers coming to wipe at the corners of Hanji’s eyes. But Nanaba is crying too. “We’ll see each other again. That’s a promise.” She crosses her heart and when she looks over to Mike, he’s crossing his heart too, slightly embarrassed at the whole scene.

Hanji lunges for another hug, pulling Levi and Nanaba into Mike’s chest as Erwin watches, chuckling. She waves to him with a spare arm, and when he’s close enough, she pulls him in too.

And it pains her to say goodbye, but the certainty that they’ll meet again lingers.

They’re cruising along the highway now, and Levi has his hand on Hanji’s thigh. The pain of goodbye soothes into a dull ache.

—

“He looks like he’s really struggling...” Levi raises a brow. Hanji slows down to get a better look.

There is a man pulled up at the side of the road and he’s studying his map, squinting. He turns it here and flips it the other way, and he looks like he’s about to have a nervous breakdown. Hanji laughs at the face he’s making.

She pulls up behind him and they get out the car.

“You look lost! Need help?” She offers and his frown disappears behind a smile.

“I’m looking for Paradise Inn, but I can’t seem to find it...”

“You’re in luck! We were just there! You missed it. You gotta turn right two junctions before, it’s a really narrow path, really easy to miss.”

“Thank goodness for you two...” the man says, “I’m Moblit by the way.” He says, and he shakes their hand.

“Where are you guys headed?” Moblit asks.

“The beach,” Hanji answers, and maybe she lets herself get comfortable in the familiarity.

“Ah! I heard the winds are strong this time of year...” Moblit says, worry creasing his forehead.

“We’re strong enough swimmers!” Hanji says, grinning, “plus Levi packed for colder weather so we’re covered.”

Moblit is smiling now, a calmness spreading across his face, “that’s good.”

“It’s nice meeting you, Moblit! You’re going to love Paradise Inn! Enjoy your stay alright!” Hanji says and Moblit is chuckling, he’s smiling a little sheepish, unsure of how to react to Hanji’s excitement. But as it is, it’s already hard to say goodbye, and he can’t stay pulled up by the side of the road forever. “Ah, really?” He replies

“You take care of yourself now, Hanji...” Moblit says as he looks at Hanji. And she doesn’t understand why she feels this way for a stranger she’s just met at the side of the road. But the sadness in Moblit’s smile is mirrored in her eyes as she waves goodbye. Moblit gets into his car he turns his attention to Levi, “you too Levi!”

—

“Levi! Wake up! We’re here!”

When Levi opens his eyes from the passenger’s seat, the picture in front of him makes his heart stop. The sea commands awe, and he understands why people write about it like a lover.

Hanji grabs him by the hand and pulls him towards the sand. She has lost her shoes somewhere along her beeline to the shore.

“Come on Levi! The water is warm!” Hanji shouts and Levi sighs and folds the clothes she has discarded at the shoreline.

“Watch it, Hanji...” he says as he pulls her against him. She’s far too excited to notice the waves, and she’s sputtering. The saltwater obscures his vision, but he sees her- playfulness in her eyes, her legs coming to circle around Levi’s waist as he stands on his toes, balancing them both as the tides threaten to tip them over.

“We made it Levi!” Hanji exclaims.

He chuckles. This is the world where ‘I love you’s are easy. It’s not a big deal, they can always come back, have a picnic by the beach, skinny dip by the moonlight. The world is their oyster.

Levi presses a kiss to Hanji’s wet cheek.

—

They’re sitting on the shore now, clothes clinging to wet skin, sand sticking to wet clothes.

Hanji has placed a ring of shells and pebbles around where they are sitting. She’s drawing patterns in the sand now, absentmindedly, perfectly content.

Levi looks at her, hair wavy from the saltwater, blush on the bridge of her nose from the sun. Loving Hanji is terrifyingly easy. So he says-

"We should get married."

Hanji's eyes grow wide. She doesn't say anything and Levi's stares at the sand between his toes.

The sun is setting mid-way, at this rate, it will be dark in no time. They had promised to leave by this time, darkness makes for a difficult journey back. But they had also promised never to talk about love and here they are. Hanji laces their fingers together and kisses the back of his hand. Maybe promises are meant to be broken. Maybe it really is time they get carried away. Levi is holding Hanji's hand to his chest. And she feels the call of the sea fade behind the steady thrum of his heart. It’s the sound of a life worth living.

"Maybe..." Hanji says, she’s always been a tease. But her heart is beating out of her chest and her cheeks are pink. She's pursing her lips, and even then she can't contain her grin.  She pictures herself bursting at the seems, glee spilling out of her like a geyser. 

"Maybe is good..." Levi smiles. He can work with 'maybe'.

—

“I had a dream last night...” Levi says to Hanji at the end of the world, he presses his fist to her chest and it remains there, curled loosely.

“Ah... About the others again?”

“It was just you this time... I dreamt of us. And the sea...”

“Sounds nice...” Hanji says, and she’s smiling. Levi pulls her close by her cape, and he watches as she bites down hard on a trembling lip. She wills herself to stop shaking, and it pains him to think this is one of the many reasons why he loves her. Hanji is stubborn as fuck, strong as hell.

And Levi knows this is it, but for a person who has known death all his life, he doesn’t have the right words to say goodbye.

“We’ll see each other again Levi, I’ll wait for you...” Hanji says, and she thinks of a place between home and the sea. She sees familiar faces around the fireplace. It smells of late mornings and coffee in bed, and it feels like Levi’s hand in hers.

She calls it Paradise.

“Do you think things would’ve worked out between us?” Hanji grins, cheeky. She’s saying what they had both been thinking all these years. She imagines Levi, and a little house, a dog, and a cabbage patch for homemade sauerkraut. And so much love between them that they have to crack the window open.

And Levi understands. He sees it too. In the curve of her smile and in her laugh. They spend the whole day in bed, there’s nowhere to be, nothing to do. Life permits them to talk about love and the frivolity of domestic life. Levi wakes up to Hanji every morning. “Maybe...” he replies, all the love he has for her showing in his eyes. And he wants to tell her he loves her. But Hanji is smiling now, she knows.

They laugh at the cruelty of it.

Hanji slips her hand in his, letting her fingers trace the inside of his palm. “Maybe is good...” she whispers as his fingers close around hers.

She turns to leave, and Levi isn’t one to think about heaven and hell when there’s already so much going on in between. But he is certain this isn’t goodbye.

Later, Hanji. He says, and the wind carries his voice enough for her to turn back one last time.

—

“Did you know that wasps survey a place for suitability before it builds its home? Then it transports the soil in bit by bit for its nest...” Hanji says, it’s a little too early in the morning and they’ve fallen back in bed after breakfast. Their eyes trace the wasp as it scouts around the house.

“I think it likes our house...” Levi says, he’s annoyed at the buzzing and the fact they might have to deal with a wasp infestation in a week or so. Just not enough to leave the warmth of Hanji’s side.

She laughs, bright like the morning, and Levi turns to press soft kisses to her neck.

“What’s there not to like? It has Levi, his dashing Hanji-“

“Tch...” Levi interrupts. “And the smell of goddamn sauerkraut...” In fact it smells so overwhelmingly of sauerkraut they have to leave the window open. Levi makes a face every now and then when he catches an especially strong waft of it lingering in the air. It makes Hanji laugh. Indeed the smell kind of makes her stomach turn now, but she insists it’s all worth it. And Levi is tackling her to the ground, play wrestling like children. There’s more sauerkraut than we can eat in a lifetime, Hanji... What do I do with you?

Even so, it’s lovely.

He has his head on Hanji’s chest and her fingers are combing through his hair, scratching gently at the back of his neck. He hides his smile against her skin.

Hanji clears her throat, clearing the air of Levi’s interruption. She continues. “- and all the love between them.” Hanji smiles, performing for an audience of one.

Levi thinks this is paradise.

[serickswrites]

Angstober

Days 1, 2, 3, & 4: prompt: again, countdown, self destruct, blood; TW: captivity, torture, restraints, blood, bleeding out, mcd, survivor's guilt, self destructive behavior, caretaker and whumpee, hurt/no comfort, grief

Day 5: prompt: do better TW: self sacrifice, burns, hurt/comfort, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery, caretaker and whumpee

Day 6: prompt: medication; TW: concussion, head injury, migraine, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery, hurt/comfort, caretaker and whumpee

Day 7: prompt: "you still don't get it;" TW: kidnapping, implied torture, restraints, rescue, blood

Day 8: prompt: growing pains; TW: blood, explosions, wounds, conditioning, living weapon whumpee, blood loss, caretaker and whumpee

Day 9: prompt: promise; TW: captivity, torture, restraints, blood, wounds, electrocution, escape, unclear character status, unconsciousness

Day 10: prompt: humiliation; TW: restraints, captivity, torture, physical violence, public humiliation, cruel whumper

Day 11: prompt: Wake Up; TW: captivity, restraints, non con drugging, creepy/intimate whumper

Day 12: prompt: rotten touch; TW: pet whump, captivity, body modification, noncon body modification

Day 13: prompt: shaking; TW: magical exhaustion, collapse, shaking, unconsciousness

Day 14: prompt: only around you; TW: referenced captivity, referenced torture, referenced conditioning, relapse, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery, caretaker and whumpee

Day 15: prompt: false hope; TW: captivity, restraints, torture, unconsciousness, rescue, blood, blood from the mouth, mcd, hurt/no comfort

Day 16: prompt: no one else to turn to; TW: blood, wounds, gunshot wound, bleeding, hospital reference

Day 17: prompt: "Shhh...;" TW: gunshot wound, blood, field medicine

Day 18: prompt: falling stars; TW: captivity, torture, restraints, forced to watch, blood, wounds, infection, mcd

Day 19: prompt: tear-stained cheek; TW:captivity, restraints, torture, rescue, bruises, caretaker and whumpee

Day 20: prompt: spare me; TW: captivity, torture, restraints, self sacrifice, forced to watch, drowning, mcd

Day 21: prompt: abandoned; TW: abandonment, heat stroke, lost

Day 22: prompt: crocodile tears; TW: threats, betrayal, video recording, implications of noncon, black mail

Day 23: prompt: safe/unsafe; TW: captivity, restraints, gag, electrocution, unconsciousness

Day 24: prompt: dark sunrise; TW: captivity, torture, restraints, self sacrifice, blood, wounds, threat of death, mcd, public display, betrayal

Day 25: prompt: you're no better; TW: referenced captivity, referenced torture, medication, unconsciousness, passing out, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery

Day 26: prompt: persuasion; TW: black mail, trickery, bribery, cruel whumper

Day 27: prompt: curled up; TW: captivity, restraints, muzzle, torture, defiant whumpee, sensory deprivation

Day 28: prompt: perfect; TW: collar, whipping, blood, bruises, pet whump, cruel whumper

Day 29: prompt: get out; TW: sun exposure, hyperthermia, delirium, kidnapping

Day 30: prompt: nothing else to tell you; TW: rescue, captivity, torture, broken bones, blood, bruises, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery, hospital

Day 31: prompt: it ends here; TW: self sacrifice, exhaustion, magical exhaustion, unconsciousness

@angstober

[tundrainafrica]

Title: Heroes or Victims

Summary:  

"As Hange stared down at the man whom she believed was very much deserving of the title “hero,” she was reminded that he was just as much a victim as everyone else."

Hange reflects on emotions, relationships, war philosophies, and a future while taking care of a severely injured Levi.

Written for @levihanweek, Angstober 2020. Prompt: trapped/escape

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Notes: Here is my offering for LeviHan Week, Angstober 2020. Prompt: trapped/escape. I went a little overboard with the word count. Either way, I hope you enjoy. ;)

Credits to my betareader @scribusdomina

Any soldier who died in the field was presented as a hero of the walls. The stories told within the walls evoked images of violent charges, loud and emotional screams for their motherland and quick deaths.

Those soldiers were brave, honorable, and patriotic.

There is no better way to die than falling off one's horse battered and bloody, dreaming of the motherland.

It was a terrifyingly effective piece of propaganda that the lower class within the walls of Paradis welcomed with open arms and consumed too quickly. People saw the garrison and military police as equals to the brave soldiers who die a quick death in the battlefield, their moment of honor yet to come. Ironically, the survey corps members who actually died quickly in the battlefield were rarely afforded that same respect.

For that reason, and for many other reasons, those who survived past what could have been their first death and eventually became the veterans of the corps, ended up completely rejecting this train of thought.

As the numbers of the survey corps members dwindled, the war against titans morphed into a war of attrition. The survey corps did not have the hundreds of people to spare and those within the survey corps at Hange's command were trained to hide in enclosed spaces to preserve themselves until the enemy tires out. A war that starts with a brave charge ends with quick deaths and a quick end to the war, giving no time for the soldiers to ponder the losses and their purpose in the grand scheme of things.

The shift towards preserving life gave birth to a new type of thinker --- the battle hardened soldier. Levi and Hange having survived the longest through the bloodiest wars with the most cruel bouts of survivor's guilt, were at the forefront of this paradigm shift.

Every single person who died out there for the crown and for the people who lived within the walls were more victims than heroes.

Those words in particular rang louder to Hange as she stared down at the man whom she believed was very much deserving of the title “hero”. At that moment though, as he lay injured and vulnerable, with the beginnings of a fever, Hange was reminded that he was just as much a victim as everyone else.

Levi had always been trapped. He grew up in the underground city under Wall Sina, forced into a life of crime and violence just to survive. From what she remembered, he did not join the survey corps out of his own volition either.

Hange brushed Levi's bangs out of his face and reapplied the wet cloth on his forehead.

She shuddered as she listened to Levi's soft whimpers. His face was a mess. She guessed he had a few broken ribs, probably some internal bleeding. He needed to get to a doctor and even if he did survive, he could be left with a permanent disability.

While the rich kid who disobeyed her parents and willingly joined the battle, just came out blind in one eye with a few bruises and scars. Hange let out a pained sigh as she thought of how unfair it all was. She had experienced enough comfort growing up and could have gladly taken some of that misfortune off his shoulders.

Levi's history was a stark contrast to hers. Hange had come from a comfortable background and despite her parent's protests, had committed to joining the survey corps out of sheer curiosity on what existed outside the walls. To her, military service was an escape, an escape from the safe, comfortable yet predictable future her parents had set out for her.

"Now that I think about it, I was free to do whatever I wanted. I had the choice to live within Wall Sina, the choice to defy my parents and join the survey corps. So I shouldn't be regretting anything…" Hange lightly tapped her eyepatch. The pain had completely faded and as she put pressure on it, the only thing she felt was the phantom pain from the memory of the explosion and glass flying into her eye.

She looked back to the sleeping Levi, trying to gauge how much pain he must be in, given the gravity of his injuries. She ended up laughing at her own naivete. She had experienced her fair share of injuries. They were all painful yet none of them really evolved into a full blown hospital stay or an injury leave.

Back then, an explosion like that would definitely have put him on injury leave for at least a month.

As Hange reminisced on their old expeditions outside the walls, she gave a sardonic laugh. "Worst timing eh? Can't even take you to a hospital for decent healthcare. We have a war to fight and you're stuck in bed."

"No… time… for care. We need… to fight...”

Hange instinctively looked down when she felt something warm on her fingers. She watched, amused as Levi tried to find the most natural way to wrap three fingers around her hand.  "I'll go to your other side so at least it's your good hand wrapping around mine."

"No… Just sit near...."

Hange scooched closer to his hand and Levi settled for putting his right hand on top of hers. Levi's hand twitched a few times, possibly in protest to his attempts to squeeze her hand. She grasped it lightly and felt the hand on top of hers relax as she took on his burden. Somehow, his face seemed to relax more.

Hange lay down beside him on the forest floor, careful not to jostle his injured hand as she held it. She rolled over to her side and studied his bandaged face once again.

Ever since Levi had become a captain of the survey corps, he was constantly moving, constantly thinking. The weight of everyone's expectations on humanity's strongest was a heavy burden to carry. She had seen him fall asleep multiple times in Erwin's office or more recently, in her room next to her. He usually slept for three hours a night, easily awoken by the slightest sound, but there, right next to her, he looked like he had fallen into a deep sleep.

"Why now? How are you able to fall asleep now?" Hange asked softly with no expectations for an answer. By then, Levi's breathing had already evened out and Hange instead kept herself occupied, by mimicking the slow and steady breaths of the man next to her.

Somehow, she managed to fall asleep,too.

                                         Heroes or Victims

Levi's fever only worsened.

He wasn't awake yet but Hange feared that he could be in pain.

Hange searched the forest for familiar plants. She was no botanist but she had studied enough to know what could be used to alleviate pain, stave off infections.

Whether she would be giving it in the right doses and processing it correctly was the better question. She had seen the people in the infirmary do that same method multiple times as she supervised the treatments of injured soldiers who contracted fevers from wound infections. She was hesitant at first to even attempt such treatment on Levi without training but she had seen how a high fever deteriorates into chills, slow breathing, then eventually death without the right treatment. She decided for herself that it was a gamble she had to take. Hange only hoped that she remembered everything accurately enough that she wouldn’t end up poisoning him.

As she waited for the leaves to steep, she turned her attention to Levi. The wet cloth she had placed on his forehead was heating up alarmingly fast and Hange found herself shaking as she  wiped down his body with cooler water.

She recalled her own experiences in an attempt to placate her fears.

When was the last time she had felt that much heat come out of someone?

Maybe during her days supervising the injured survey corps members in the infirmary?

Did they survive?  

Back then, they had the safe, sterile environment of the infirmary. There, at that moment, it was just both of them in the middle of a dark forest. Her own attempts only served to worsen her already growing fears. Despite the high fever, Levi was sleeping like a log.

"Why do you look so fucking peaceful?" Hange teared up. She would have preferred to see Levi in a fitful sleep. Pain meant he was still there. Hange had learned, having watched countless soldiers die in the infirmary, that when the breath of the patient slows and they start to feel cool and clammy, it means certain death. Also, a peaceful sleep introduced the possibility that he might never wake up.

Hange resisted the temptation to shake Levi awake, risking further injury. Instead, she settled for putting her hand on his good one and squeezing hard enough to feel something back. She focused on the fact that he was still hot to touch. It meant he was still very much alive.

"Don't you fucking die on me."

                                     Heroes or Victims

Hange needed someone to talk to but at the same time, she was relieved that it had just been the two of them.

The ordeal with Levi's fever shooting up had left her exhausted, her eyes red and her nose running. As the poultice she had put together that night did its work and the fever started to subside, Hange had to stop herself from giving the injured Levi a good kick for all the stress he had caused her that night.

Hange woke up as soon as she heard the rustle of cloth next to her.

He's starting to come around.  

It was early morning and Hange wanted to use that time before the sun's heat became unbearable to wash the sheets by the riverside. She carried Levi a few feet towards the river bank, rested him on a tree and covered him with his green cloak.

The sheets were stained with blood and sweat and Hange made a mental note to change his bandages after cleaning out the bed sheets. Watching the blood stains disappear as the sheets flapped in the water was somehow calming. It gave the young commander enough time to reflect on the events of the night before, her own emotions and the fact that she was still lacking sleep. As the last bouts of sleepiness left her, the pent up emotions of last night started to take over.

"Levi, you asshole!" She screamed as she angrily pulled the wet sheets toward her. The sheet flailed as it fought between both her strength and the river carrying it westward. She needed a break. Emotions had built up inside her the night before with no decent outlet as she concentrated all her energy on keeping Levi alive.

"You fucking asshole!" Hange pulled the sheet out and threw it down into the water again.

The cold water that splashed towards her face somehow helped her cool off. Hange let the sheets flow along with the river, only holding on to them with the tips of her fingers. "It was fucking terrifying. You had this fucking face last night. You looked so peaceful. Like you wanted to sleep forever. Do you not want to live anymore? Is your life so shitty that you decide for yourself that 'hey maybe dying might be the better?’”

At that point, Hange did not know how much of what she said she actually meant. He could have heard it. Maybe he didn't. Hange though allowed herself the luxury of releasing everything that was bundled up inside her to the one person who would have understood her either way.  

"Life was shit. The dreams were good,” His reply was toneless and too rooted in their bleak reality.

Hange looked back to see that Levi was staring at her. For a while she wondered how much of her tirade he had heard but as she pulled the sheets out of the river and walked towards Levi, she found herself more interested in what Levi had just said.  

"Do you feel trapped?" Hange hung the sheet on a low lying branch then crouched down beside Levi.

"Trapped?"

"In life I mean. Like in this hellhole. You looked so free last night. For a while, I thought I was the selfish one for trying to keep you alive."

“I don’t know…”

Hange had to admit. It would be a difficult question for someone especially while recovering from a brush with death. She silently scooched closer to him and looked up, using that clear sky above her as a blank slate to organize her thoughts. She could at least use that extra time to predict an answer like she usually did.

What did I know about him? Admittedly, the two of them did spend a lot of time together but given their line of work, there was always something to discuss. They never had the free time to sit around and just discuss each other's histories. Everything Hange ever knew about Levi, she learned through the bouts of information he volunteered about himself in between sharing thoughts on the latest developments. Hange had taken the liberty to fill in the gaps herself on his personality using empathy, deduction, and pattern recognition.

She was reminded then, that although she knew Levi's personality and could easily predict how he'd react to most situations, she only knew so much about what his life was like before they met.

"Then let me ask something else." Before she even noticed it, Hange had softened her tone. The desperation and anger of a while ago was gone as it looked like Levi was going to survive.

"Hm?"

"What did you dream about?"

                                     Heroes or Victims

The world is a cruel place. That was something both Levi and Hange had concluded a long time ago.

The stark contrast between Levi’s dreams and the reality they lived in only made Hange feel worse for even taking out her frustrations on him. They had both experienced hell but Levi’s life had always been hell. From what she understood, he had grown up in abject poverty. He had experienced the worst the world had to offer--- starvation, discrimination, abuse. He had lost everyone he had ever loved. Only recently, he had lost everything he had known and suddenly was placed in a position of responsibility, forced to keep thinking, to keep moving.

Hange reflected on all these as she cleaned out his wounds. She couldn’t help but notice that Levi had stiffened up, possibly an attempt to control whatever natural reaction his body would make to the pain of the herbal poultice spilling into his deeper wounds. His attempt to hide the pain only served to intensify Hange’s guilt.

“It’s painful, huh?” She bit back tears. “I’m sorry. I was selfish.I didn’t wanna be trapped here alone but yeah,  I still have family alive. You have nothing and here I am being entitled, getting mad at you for almost dying.”

“Hey,” Levi said. He weakly grasped Hange’s wrist while she cleaned his wounds. “I’m not trapped. I never was.”

“How can you still say that after all the shit life has thrown at you?” Hange asked as she wriggled out of his weak grip and gently laid his hand on his bare chest.

“I had my mom. Then when she died, I had Farlan, then Isabel, Erwin, then my squad…When I lost them, it hurt like a bitch, every single fucking time.” Levi suddenly looked away from Hange.

Hange could tell from the slight crack in his voice that he was blinking back tears. She put her hand on top of his and squeezed, hoping that was enough for him to realize that he did not need to stop himself from showing emotion.  

Levi did not give in to his emotions though. The only sign that he was even about to cry a few seconds ago was that his voice had gotten softer. “But when I feel like shit, there’s always someone there to remind me that life was never just a hell hole. When this war is over, I like to imagine, life could get better. We could maybe live together, you can continue your stupid experiments, I can open a teashop.”

“Then we’ll fight over your black tea budget and how badly I clean the hallways,” Hange joked.

Levi’s mouth quivered into a smile and he closed his eyes. Hange watched as the sleeping effects of the herbal disinfectant took effect. She caressed his cheek and noted how his skin was still warm to the touch but not as hot as it was the night before.

When this war is over, I like to imagine, life could get better. Levi’s words echoed in Hange’s head. She closed her eyes, picturing the future he told her about a moment ago. It would take decades for the people within the walls to realize the futility of war and the vulnerability of the soldiers they had for so long revered. Either way, she let herself imagine spending a war-free future, stressing over mundane problems with the one she loved.

Before Hange left to scavenge for lunch, she allowed herself a few minutes to just stare at his sleeping face. She wondered if he was dreaming of that same future he had told her about. The subtle smile of a while ago had not disappeared from his face yet and somehow, he looked more peaceful than he did the night before.

Hange smiled. Maybe he was dreaming of the both of them. “You’re my escape, too,” she whispered.

Just in case he was.

[kamryn1963]

Summary: My version of what exactly Alvin Olinsky, Hank Voight and Jimmy Shi did to Browning after the murder of Officer Eddie Penland.

TW: Violence, Murder

@angstober Prompt 20: Spare Me

The water was pretty quiet that night. They were the only boat out right now as they had to wait until night. 

It worked out in their favor that Al had his boating license, though like Jimmy had pointed out, driving a boat illegally was not going to be their biggest issue after tonight. But still at least that part was legal. 

Right now Hank and Jimmy stood on one end of the boat sharing a joint as they looked out just in case some other boat was going to join them at midnight on a Thursday. 

It had been three days since Officer Eddie Penland had been murdered in the line of duty by a man named Christopher Browning. 

Three days since Alvin Olinsky, Hank Voight and Jimmy Shi had been planning their next move. It had ended up being a pretty simple plan. Eddie had been Al’s partner, they had shared an apartment together, and Eddie had died in Al’s arms. 

So it was only fair that Al got the honor of taking care of Browning. 

Al smirked, as he slowly uncuffed Browning from where they handcuffed him to the rail to keep him from moving. 

“Olinsky”. Browning stated, a similar smirk to Al’s on his face. 

One Al was going to take great pleasure in wiping off. 

Al didn’t speak, just grabbed the bat that Jimmy had provided and swung it right into Browning’s stomach. He took pleasure in the way Browning fell to his knees at only the third hit. Al continued, some part of him felt satisfied as Browning moaned in pain.

Al stopped after Browning had curled up, clutching his stomach. Al grabbed the chains from next to him, Hank silently coming over to assist. The chains were attached to several cement blocks and despite his half conscious state, Browning seemed to piece together what was in store for him. 

“You don't need to do this”. Browning rasped and Al just laughed, the sound echoing through the water interrupting the fragile silence. 

And then Al had Browning by his collar and Browning's head made contact with the edge of the boat. 

Over and over and over and over again. The chains slipped down his body but Al didn't even care. He didn't care about much anymore. 

Al was screaming as he slammed Browning's head into the boat until the man went limp. 

“I don't have to do this? I could, what, spare you? Eddie's dead. He's dead”. Al was sobbing and laughing and hysterical as he let go of Browning and grabbed his gun. 

Browning was already dead but that didn't stop Al from shooting him in the head. The same way Eddie had died. 

Al was hysterical now and collapsed to the ground, his head in his hands, as Hank and Jimmy disposed of Browning and started cleaning up. 

Al only wished this made him feel better, that it took away the pain, the grief. But it hadn’t. He didn’t think anything would.

[wwooyology]

How Could You? | P.SH

「prompt」 : spare me 「pairing」 : bf!sunghoon x fem!reader 「word count」 : 1.6k

「synopsis」 : while you have been working hard to build a life for you and sunghoon, he was out living his best life. though all of your hard work crumbles when word gets out that sunghoon had been seen with another girl in the club.

「genre」 : angst

「warnings」 : cussing, crying, mentions of pregnancy, cheating, small argument, confrontation, mention of divorce, lmk if I missed anything!!!

「notes」 : me watching too many short Chinese dramas part two... but we're almost done with angstober, how are you guys feeling thus far?

masterlist ─ navi. ─ angstober list

“Congratulations Mrs. Park,” The doctor smiled at you sweetly as he handed you the test report. You looked down with glossy eyes, reading the words over and over in your head.

‘Pregnant’

It felt like a dream come true. You had just gotten a massive promotion at work, so you would be bringing home more money for yourself and Sunghoon. You were entirely grateful that you could support him while he continued his studies, and now you could even start growing your own family with him.

After quickly thanking the doctor, you made your way out of the hospital into the waiting car parked in front of the building. The driver greeted you with a smile as he held the door open for you, his hand covering the top to protect you from hitting your head.

“Are we headed home, Ma’am?” He asked as he got into the driver's seat, starting up the car, causing a low rumble to be heard around you.

Returning his smile through the rearview mirror, you nodded, “Yes.”

Then, with a nod of his head, he turned his attention back to the road in front of you, pulling out of the parking lot. You settled into your seat, hands resting in your lap with the test results and your eyes staring out the window. A happy grin spread on your lips at the thought of telling Sunghoon about all of the good news that you had received.

Just then, you felt your phone buzz in your hands, tearing your gaze away from the window. Turning your screen on, you see a message from your best friend, Yeji, who also just happens to be Sunghoon’s little sister. A giddy feeling bubbles in your chest at the thought of telling her that she was going to be an aunt soon, but when you opened your phone, all of that happiness that you once felt washed away in an instant.

‘Where are you y/n? Have you seen the news?’

Her question worried you, had something happened to Sunghoon or either of your families? Panicked, you quickly backed out of the messages and into the first social media app you found. It took you a few moments and reloads before it finally popped up.

And bile rose up the back of your throat.

You reread the headlines over and over and over and over again, and you so deeply wished that your first worry had been true instead of this.

‘The Renowned Son of the Park's, Park Sunghoon, Seems to Have Reverted Back to His Old Playboy Ways.’

Tears blur your vision as you read more before looking at the pictures and videos of Sunghoon sitting in a nightclub with females surrounding him, some perched on his lap, his hands in places a married man definitely shouldn’t have his hands in. Completely in awe, you backed out with shaky hands and went back to message Yeji, asking her if she knew which nightclub he was at. She gave you the name and address before telling you that she would meet you there.

“Change of plans,” you said, leaning forward to talk to the driver, trying your best to keep the tears that pooled in your eyes at bay.

–

Anger and hurt bubbled in your gut as you stormed into the club, ignoring the people who greeted you along the way. The music that blared through the speakers made your head spin as the bass vibrated the ground beneath your feet. Steeling yourself, you looked around the packed room, trying to find that blonde male you knew was somewhere around here.

“Are you looking for someone, Miss?” A worker walked up to you with a smile, and you nodded slowly, closing your eyes and then going back to scan the crowd.

“I’m looking for my husband.” Your words were curt, and her smile faltered for a moment before she was able to replace it once more.

“What’s his name? I can see if he’s on our list.” She told you nicely despite the unease that was growing in her gut.

You opened your mouth to tell her your husband's name, but you were cut off when a hand landed on your shoulder and a voice was heard from behind you.

“Park Sunghoon,” Yeji told the worker, and the poor girl visibly paled, a ball forming in her throat as she looked between the pair of you. However, she was taking too long for both your and Yeji’s taste. "Do you or do you not know where he is?”

Swallowing thickly, the worker nodded her head before motioning behind her, “Follow me.”

Yeji laced her arm through yours as the both of you followed behind the girl, ignoring any and all of the looks you were receiving along the way. However, despite your best efforts to ignore the lingering comments, you couldn’t ignore them all.

“Isn’t that Mr. Park’s wife?” someone off to your right whispered to her friend who sat next to her. "Has he finally been caught?”

Noticing where your attention was, Yeji tugged on your arm before nodding towards the table in the far back corner. There, sitting in the middle of the bench, one hand holding a half-empty glass of liquor and the other wrapped around another girl’s shoulder, was none other than your husband.

Seeing him act like this without a care in the world shot an arrow right through your heart. All of these years that you had worked your ass off to make sure that you both could live happily in the future seemed to have been in vain. Because while you were working overtime almost every night, he was out doing god knows what at this very nightclub.

“Sunghoon, how could you?” Yeji was the first to speak, stomping her foot as she held onto your arm.

At the sound of his sister's voice, Sunghoon’s head snapped in your direction, a look of panic flashing across his features. He tore his arm around from the girl next to him and placed the glass on the table before he stood to his feet.

“Y-Yeji, what are you doing here?” Sunghoon asked with a slight quiver in his tone. His eyes solely locked onto his sister, seeming to have not noticed you standing there next to her.

“How could you be so shameless? You’re cheating on y/n while she’s out there working effortlessly to support you.” She scolded the older male and that’s when he finally noticed you standing there next to his sister, tears clinging to your eyelashes as you just stared at him.

Even with all of the apparent evidence in front of you, you didn’t want to believe that he could actually do something like this to you. Your eyes then flickered up to meet his, panic and guilt swirling in his dark iris’.

“Y/n–”

“How long?” You cut him off, biting your tongue to keep the tears that so desperately wanted to fall at bay. 

Sunghoon moved around the table to reach out towards you, “I wasn’t–”

“How. Long?” You enunciate each word as you take a step away from him, wanting to keep as much distance between you as possible.

“Six months.” He breathed out, his shoulders slumping and his head dropping down, guilt starting to eat at the back of his mind.

You felt a lump form in your throat as you stared at him, completely astonished; your hand instinctively went to your stomach. Recalling the doctor's test results, you were only a month or so along, meaning that while he lay with you in bed, he was also keeping other women company as well. You suddenly felt sick to your stomach, causing you to hunch over.

“Y/n!” Yeji exclaimed, grabbing onto your arms tightly and helping you stand back onto your feet.

Sunghoon moved to grab a hold of you as well, but you shoved his hands away. A glare adorned your features as you looked up at him.

“If this is what you want, then don’t let me stop you.” Your tone was bitter, and your eyes burned with tears as you held onto Yeji. "But don’t expect me to be waiting when you get home.”

Yeji then helped you turn to walk away, but of course, Sunghoon wasn’t going to give up that easily. He reached out, grabbing your arm to make you turn to look at him.

“Please, y/n, we can talk about this.” His eyes pleaded with you, but all of the sympathy that you once felt for him was gone, smothered with his own two hands.

“There’s nothing to talk about, but do me a favor…” You once again shoved his hands away from you, silent tears falling from your glossy eyes, “sign the divorce agreement when my assistant brings it to you.”

And without another word you grabbed onto Yeji’s arm and walked with her back out of the nightclub, leaving Sunghoon there to stare at the spot you were once standing in. His whole world crumbled in just mere minutes.

You sat in your car, the silence almost comforting as your driver took both you and Yeji back to her place where you would be staying for the time being. Your hand then moved the rest on your stomach, your thumb brushing along your clothed abdomen.

“I’m sorry little one, but it’ll be better this way…” You whispered as more tears spilled from your eyes.

Noticing your distress, Yeji wrapped her arm around you, pulling you into her side so you could rest your head against her shoulder. She tried her best to comfort you as you cried in her arms until you finally cried yourself to sleep, hoping that this all was just some cruel dream that you would wake up from in no time.

But you weren’t in a dream and you would only wake up more heartbroken than when you had fallen asleep.

@wwooyology | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work

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