#angst! N will never be able to escape from his lil sister (:

[almostloudmaker2]

Promise from the past

Oh dear N, what did you promise who? your sister or someone using your sister's identity?

[13tter]

AVATAR TWOW RECS

⭑ i am no longer updating this anymore !

⭑ im keeping this pinned until i make a new recs post

⭑ i read sfw & nsfw works . . . mdni with nsfw works

⭑ dont forget to send much love to all these authors :P

please note that some of these works have heavy topics: read the warnings b4 u read plspls

[❕] nsfw / smut ,, [🩹] suggestive ,, [🗯] angst ,, [☃️] fluff ,, [🐰] personal faves

➷ loverboy #1 neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan

all for you , part two ✶ 30.2k, e2l, grumpy x sunshine ⊹ 🗯☃️

When Quaritch attacks the Ta’unui water clan looking for Jake Sully, the clan’s Tsahik forces her younger sister, Y/N, to escape and seek refuge from the Metkayina clan. As Y/N deals with the trauma of losing her home, she discovers that she isn’t the only outlander in the village. She develops conflicted feelings for Neteyam but the tensions grow when Y/N finds out that Neteyam is the son of Jake Sully - the man she hates. 

worthy pt 2 ✶ 4.3k, aged up ⊹ 🗯☃️ [❕]

You and Neteyam argued before he left for his 3-day hunt. After he arrived back to the reef, he discovered you were never waiting for him. He finds you unbraiding your hair near a tide pool and decides to offer his help.

🐰 soft as clouds ✶ 6.3k, non wellknown!reader, wingwoman baby tukie ! ⊹ ☃️

You weren't well known in the clan, and when you become friends with Tuk, no one believes her.

hide and peak ✶ 3.5k, aged up, mates, sub teyam, exhibition ⊹ 🗯☃️ [❕]

Neteyam is oblivious to flirting from other females. so, reader decides to make it a point to show everyone neteyam's is theirs.

quiet love ✶ 6.3k, insecure!reader ⊹ 🗯☃️

You didn’t see the way Neteyam was longing for you, too caught up in why it was impossible anyway. But he was insistent that you were the one he wanted. 

how they would react to you dressing up for them (hcs) ✶ 1.7k, aged up ⊹ ☃️🩹

NETEYAM - already compliments you everyday, like smothers you in them to the point where it’s more common than hearing your name. he can’t get enough of you. the biggest smile comes onto his face when he sees you, immediately forgetting how tired he had been from his responsibilities earlier. you’re like a breath of fresh air to him and he can’t believe how lucky he got with you.

uncomfortable ✶ 1.7k, aged up, lil bit of jealousy ⊹ 🗯☃️

Being a hunter provided you with so much purpose. You provided food, safety, pelts, strength and everything in-between to your clan. And in turn they provided you with love and support. You had felt this way since you were eighteen and finished the rites of the hunter, since you technically became an Omaticayan woman. Being a spoter in the war party provided you so much more. You felt adrenaline, you felt responsible for all your brothers and sisters in the fight. You felt like you were personally making a difference against the enemy. And besides, by taking this life path you were able to meet your best friend. 

🐰 me and you pt 2 ✶ 3k, aged up, teyam is so attractive here ⊹ ☃️ [❕]

no summary provided — but trust me when i say this is the hottest thing i've read all year. reader & teyam's banter is unmatched and they're so cute.

do you still love me? ✶ 2k, aged up, argument, misunderstanding-ish ⊹ 🗯☃️

You and Neteyam’s family has stayed the same for many years, only one daughter who was now 4. But you fear that Neteyam doesn’t want more, scared he had fallen out of love with you after the birth.

fix me ✶ 4.1k, mentions of blood, made by one of my fav people on here ⊹ ☃️

no summary provided — trusttttttt me, she never disappoints !!!!!! this fulfilled everything i have ever wished for and man i love reading charas in love.

different ✶ 4.9k, TUKIE !!!! my babie taking my heart again, a bit of rude remarks towards reader :(, loved the idea of half omatikaya & half metkayina ⊹ 🗯☃️

Request — Hiii Do you write for Avatar? Could you do something where reader is both omatikayan and metkayina (mixed) and she’s living with the metkayina when the Sully family comes? Maybe do a slow burn between reader and Neteyam? The rest is up to you!

(new!) 🐰 human stuff ✶ 2.3k, human!reader, revolves around readers' period, HE GETS FED CHIPS. hope that says enough thank yew ⊹ ☃️

the one where a confused na’vi teenager tries to comfort his human friend while she’s on her period.

➷ loverboy #2 lo'ak te suli tsyeyk'itan

the moon, the stars and his life ✶ 2.4k, aged up, possesive/jealous lo'ak ⊹ [❕]

Lo‘ak didn’t know what he did to deserve such a blessing in the shape of you. Did he even deserve it? He doubts it. You were just so perfect, from the top of your head to your cute little toes and the tip of your tail. Perfect. Which is why it hurts even more, to hear those Metkayina boys talk about him like this to you...

brat ✶ 2.7k, aged up, mean dom!lo'ak ⊹ [❕]

Lo'ak is a brat tamer, what can I say?

(new!) 🐰 reckless (but helpful) ✶ 2.4k, OLDER SISTER READER OHMYGOODDODFDF, shes so badass ugh im in love, loak is so enthusiastic its so cute seeing him not being scolded by his parents (smh i hate that he does) ⊹ ☃️

three avatars dead, one injured big sister, and two angry parents waiting at home. what could go wrong?

➷ lovers #3 sully family

the sully's stick together ✶ 3.2k, hurt/comfort, i need to be a sully NOW ⊹ 🗯☃️

becoming one with the metkayina’s has not been an easy task. as everyone continues to settle in their own ways, your family begins to grow more worried about your well-being. this isn’t the sully they know. you’re withdrawn, and quiet. what better way to fix that than to seek you out when you least expect it?

too late ✶ 3.6k, reader is 6 feet under , suicidal thoughts + actual suicide ⊹ 🗯

they loved you when it was too late. 

parts of my heart ✶ 2.3k, mama neytiri T_T, ofcourse my tukie is here ⊹ ☃️

A look at the Sully children through the loving eyes of Neytiri, and how you as the oldest daughter fit into this puzzle piece. Also a slight rediscovery of Neytiri and Jake’s relationship after the war cause it’s not talked about enough.

by the time you're hearing this i'll already be gone ✶ 4.9k, bittersweet ending ⊹ 🗯☃️

all you wanted was to not be the family disappointment.

(new!) 🐰 when the time comes , part two ✶ 6 / 7.5k, theres war and violence, YN HAS A LOVE INTEREST ANDHES SOOO CUTE OMD !! he has a lil dickhead slip up tho but it gets fixed <3 ⊹ 🗯☃️

1: IN WHICH the future Tsahik of the Omaticaya and oldest daughter of Jake and Neytiri, Y/N has always carried the heavy weight of future duties. Her trouble making antics can only aggravate her relationship her family...and somehow drive her to meet a certain grumpy Omaticayan.

2: IN WHICH the humans come for your father’s neck again, as you and your family fight alongside him. When the sky people come back to destroy Pandora again, will you be able to save your family and potential lover?

[enjeolmii]

coffee - s.jy

genre: mostly angst, a little fluff towards the end

word count: 1.7k

warnings: overdose on caffeine, passing out, i think that’s all :))

"Y/n, you should stop drinking coffee. You have to watch out for yourself, too," Jake says slowly, sitting his hand on your shoulder with the other one on the heavy cup you are holding. "Four is enough."

Your eyes shift to his expression, one that conveyed clear emotions of concern. This was supposed to be your fifth cup of the day.

Studying for the exams has never been so stressful. The amount of pressure dangling on your shoulders is much unbearable than how you expected it to be. Having parents who never supported your dream certainly took a toll on you, and living with a flawless sister all your life was never any help for your self-esteem. Being the low-grade sister between you two gave you comparisons aplenty. Everywhere you look, no matter where you go, you always find taunts and mockery preying on you. All your life, you got discredited by most of your relatives in light of your sister.

And you want to prove them wrong.

Getting higher grades is what it is. All she's ever good at is cheating off of her friends' answer sheets. It's a secret she threatened you to keep. Ever since she saw you and Jake hanging out alone in the swimming room, a picture she'd taken is all it would take for your parents to wash their hands of you.

And then, there's also getting the favor of all your family. She's prettier, sweeter, hard-working, and smarter. Everyone is biased on her nonexistent efforts, yet you - who has tried everything she can do to show her utmost best to be acknowledged by the people around her - were forsaken and left overlooked.

But it wasn't until Jake happened.

Only he saw the struggles you faced and outweighed. He conceded how far down the road you'd made it yourself and never forgot to make you feel worthy of his praises. He is the only one who understood the motive behind your desperation, and he is the only one who supported your dream.

So you wanted to make him proud. This exam will serve as the last movement to get into the performing arts school you long sought to join. To lose this opportunity means losing all you endear, and you wouldn't be sure how well you will hold up if you let this chance slip away.

That is all you can say for five cups of coffee.

"As much as I would love to stop, I'm not yet done studying. I need to ace this test." You peel his grip off of your cup, squeezing it as you offer a hesitant smile of reassurance, and he lets out a sigh.

"You aced all your activities and went home bringing the highest grades in your class," His palms find purchase on your shoulders. "You are doing so well now. Why do you put so much pressure on yourself?" A short silence follows your sigh.

"Jake, I have only been compared to my sister all my life. This is the only time I can prove them wrong. I want to feel incomparable, too. I want them to know that I am not a punching bag that they can just play around with," You clarify through clenched teeth, a recollection of all the memories flashing past your eyes. "You know that better than anyone."

Your boyfriend couldn't help but feel bad for you. He understood. All those times you leaned on him when you felt like giving up, every moment you called him and texted him asking for motivation, he knows how much you went through, and it casts him down that you never acknowledged how much progress and improvement you have shown.

You became more assertive and bolder, and he is happy that you are finally standing up for yourself. However, he couldn't learn to accept seeing you lose long hours of sleep over studying. For days, you ran on caffeine to help you stay awake and scan through your textbooks as long as you were satisfied. You pushed yourself to the limits, bypassing the pleasure of taking a rest and instead etching all significant terms on the topic of your exam in your mind. You disregarded the accomplishments you made for yourself and went on thinking that you never achieved enough to get a compliment from your loved ones, which is what Jake could not understand.

"Yes, I know that. But drinking more coffee isn't going to help you, is it?" He signifies, and you let a dry laugh through your nose.

"Give me one reason caffeine doesn't help." You smirk at him. Sure, your method is trash, and everything about it is not entirely definitive. But, can you really do anything about it? No, well, not that you know of. Your sister is studying in the same field, and it is only a matter of skill to win against her. If you gain a point or two higher, it is more than enough to crush her pride and bring yours up. The hidden thirst you have for acceptance is slowly showing, and you all but feel determined to see how far you can take it to get the better of her.

"Too much of it doesn't bring you to the top. It brings you to a hospital bed."

Your smile vanishes at his answer. What he said is true, but to hear an accurate response to your insincere quest only irritates you. You set the mug down on the countertop before crossing your arms, feeling the weight of his hands on your shoulders disappear, and you poke your tongue to the side of your cheek. "So what do you want me to do?" You assert, voice laced with irritation and disinterest.

"Take a break. Continue studying when your mind's not exhausted."

"My mind is not exhausted."

"Babe, you've been in front of your books since early sunrise. It's already two in the morning." He protests, and you look at him with a tinge of bitterness.

He shoots you worried gazes as his hands travel to yours, squeezing and swaying them side to side, and you sigh. "I don't care what time it is. I can take a rest tomorrow after the exam." You retract his grip from yours, taking the coffee cup back in your hands before stepping back into your room. "I need to study."

"Y/n... Please!" Jake follows close behind you, continuously begging. Suddenly, your head becomes heavy. Pain strikes your upper nape every time he calls for your name, ears abruptly ringing at the volume he whines. Black spots appear in your vision, along with the feeling of getting lightheaded. Your eyes shut tight in discomfort. As though your head will fall off the moment you move it around, you lose all senses, the sound of him calling you blurring away.

One moment, you groan with a hand rubbing slow circles at your temple. And another moment, the shattering sound of your mug against the floor reaches your ears, legs giving out as you feel your boyfriend's arms supporting your fall.

Panic replaces the distress in Jake's expression. Frantically, he lightly shakes your body in an attempt to wake you up, and when all taps and raps decline, he locks his arms around your arms and knees, hastily lifting you towards your bedroom.

Through the piles of answer sheets sprawled on the floor, he tiptoes his way to gently lay you on your bed, snatching the pillows under your head to pile them beneath your feet.

A heavier sigh escapes. He moves to sit by your side against the headboard, looking down at your vulnerable form as he sweeps strands of hair away from your face.

"You're so stubborn, you know that?" He utters through whispers. "You just never learn to give up, even when you know it's going to be hard on you."

Running his fingers gently through your hair, he frowns. He admires it of you - how you always manage to get what you want.

It's how he fell in love with you. It's how you caught his heart. The confidence that inclined his interest when you represented the class's agitated thoughts towards your unqualified professor, not a single fear of the consequences ahead.

Then, having made known that you were never able to use that confidence in front of your family hit a soft spot in his heart. So he wanted to help you get the recognition you desired, stayed with you in your highest and lowest, up until now.

"Why can't you see the significance behind everything you have outdone? You've fulfilled enough to show your family that you are incomparable, yet you're never satisfied with yourself," The air grows silent. "I guess you want to hear it directly from them. Is that how you're going to be? Thinking of yourself the way others think of you... Do you know why I love you? Because you are a kind, persevering, and confident person. I didn't love you because you are smarter than your sister. Hearing confirmation from others isn't everything, love, there are still other people who think you are flawless."

A few more minutes of stroking your head and one good look at your subtle breathing are all it takes for Jake to get up from the bed before bitterly watching the spilled coffee wither onto the corridor floor across the open door. "Now, look at the mess I'll have to clean," He stressfully stretches his neck, eyes closed. Just as he takes a step away to tidy up the mess, a hand reaches to grab his arm.

"I'm sorry," You mumble, eyes still closed. "I was getting too competitive I didn't realize you were here for me. I didn't mean to get mad at you," You tug at him. "Stay here, I'll clean that later when we wake up. For now, let's go to sleep." You make space for him on your bed, a small smile pulling at his lips as he gladly lays down beside you, setting his arm under your head while you wrap an arm around his body. "Thank you, love."

Jake looks at you, smile growing wider before placing a long kiss on your forehead. "I'll always love you no matter what."

You mirror his expression, snuggling closer to him as you say, "I love you, too."

a/n: i saw that there are lots of you who are preparing for exams right now... if you are one of them, then thank you for reading this and procrastinating a lil bit :D i wish you all the best!! drink your water and stay healthy always!!! 💖🥰

[unironicduncanstan]

[UNI’S LPS LORE DROP BITCH]

so ,,, i used to collect littlest pet shop (mostly the 1st and 2nd gen ones bc yall i am old) and theyre long gone now but. these are some of the lps i remember playing with and giving distinct personalities growing up. most of them didnt have names at all so im just referring to them with numbers and pictures. also warning it gets pretty Dark bc weird kid culture but here we go;;;

the first is #11 and #86. they were my absolute FAVORITES, a mother and daughter duo, a lot of their stories revolved around the kitten getting lost and the mom having to get to her, or the kitten dying and the mom having a mental breakdown. 11 mostly acted as a single mom but sometimes id cycle out different potential dads, usually the dog lps bc i did Not care abt the actual scientific lack of interspecial breeding possibilities

#25. a basic white picket fence ass dude, really common choice as the ‘dad’ in the above situation, he also was not immune to being ‘killed off’ for angst. was also cheated on a couple times by 11 (THOSE WERE AUS THO,,, DONT CANCEL HER ITS OK TO KEEP STANNING)

#200. she was #11s best friend, I think her name might have been hannah??? anyways if the mom and dad were killed off sometimes she’d “adopt” #86. but usually only after #86 fell into the custody of a terribly neglectful parent for a while and had to be rescued bc again, in my gay neurodivergent little brain peace was never an option

#487. another love interest for #11, usually competed with #25 in an almost edward vs jacob type battle of cool brooding boy and average mcfamily man. he was a big fav

#672. number #487s sister! usually either helped him get #11 like a wingman, or i’d flip the cards and make her manipulative and sabotage 11 bc she didnt think she was good enough for her brother. the personality switches id give characters were rly like. getting the bad ending in a video game,

#44. YET ANOTHER,, LOVE INTEREST FOR THAT ONE CAT,,,, but it was one sided and he always lost. poor friend zone ass simp im sorry man idk why you deserved that 😔 i think sometimes though id pair him with #200/hannah at the end. cant get the girl date her best friend idk i was 8 my morals were not always applicable to the adult situations i created

#14. SO I,,,, i ended up with three of these. and in the end i made them triplets that performed for the circus and were unhappy in their life of exploitation. i think sometimes they would. form a sui pact to escape their torment.

#137. HIS NAME WAS FUCKEN CHEESE

Groovy goat / unnumbered. I remember she was spanish to me but spoke mostly english, this decision was made bc i was an extremely white american child, and she was almost always involved somehow in a story bc she was my favorite design ever. anyways she usually was a model that would give a struggling lps a ‘makeover’ like that one scene in any dramatic disney live action film ever made

#464. another fav bc of her design omg. she was like a little sweetheart and would often play the role of ‘baby’ for any species i didnt already have designated ‘babies’ for. BUT, when i’d play with the other hamsters (we’ll get 2 them in a sec), i made them all the same age and theyd all crush on her at the same time lmao the DRAMA

#34, #35, #36. they were brothers and in order from left to right;;; biggest brother and a leader+positive role model, then the punkish middle brother that didnt like to listen and would often get them all in trouble, then the youngest nerdy brother that was naive and soft and did w/e he was told. they stuck together thru all their antics, except when #464 was involved, then theyd have a classic ‘fighting over a girl then realizing thats ridiculous’ arc. rly loved these guys cuz i always wanted a hamster so id pretend they were real animals sometimes too loL

#693. i got thsi in a mcdonalds happy meal but anyways she was a princess/queen/whatever and was very spoiled royalty. probably tried to behead some of the other lps idk. all she wanted was drama and money

#112. punk boy,,, usually paired with one of the ‘popular’ girls,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, oh my god did i government assign this dog duncan kin b4 td even existed yet

#48, #79 #42. !! HUGE FUCKEN BITCH ALERT !! (popular girls trio lol), i think a couple times i like, aged down #11 and got rid of the kitten for a ~highschool au~ where these girls bullied her but she ofc ended up stealing the middle ones man. and then other times i just paired the middle girl with #112 in a genuine ‘opposites attract’ ship . where were u guys when i was making duncney lps a thing tbh

#59. i love this guy but he was just an eccentric dork and mostly used for comedic effect

#43. love interest for #59 that he goofily fawned over till he eventually got the girl at the end of every story bc i loved cliches

#673. usually a mysterious adventurous girl from out of town that meets the mains in my story and befriends them/helps them out. also a close friend of the groovy goat character

“Paws off diary” Bull Terrier. ok this ones weird but he came in this lil electronic diary right (you can google how it looks to see what i mean) and there was this like, plastic bubble on top that he came in and you could stick him or any other lps in there and shut it securely cuz it was a diary so i. used it as like. a prison almost where id trap lps and the other characters had to ‘save’ them like they were rescuing a princess from a tower or smth. but it was usually just this lil guy. also he was given a name but i was kinda cheating skjdfsdf it was, “Max” bc that was always his name in the commercials for the diary--

#646 and #647, twin orphans separated at birth. did a lot of princess and the pauper esque ‘long lost siblings from different worlds’ reunion stories with these two

#94. so this one came with a head bandage and a little medical looking case to carry them in. i used the carry case as like an ‘ambulance’ or med helicopter to put ‘sick’ pets in and carry them to the hospital, and this pet had chronic illness so they were always the roommate patient at the lps hospital.

#10 and #142, the goldfish couldnt be taken out of the bowl if i remember correctly so. he felt sad and isolated but the seahorse was his best friend who was able to go anywhere so id stick him in the bowl with him a lot to hang out n make him feel better. solidarity

#463. i LOVED her design, so i used her a lot as just a friend to whoever i was playing with. she was also one of the bigger birds so shes the only one i remember really utilizing as a ‘this character can literally fly’ plot device. she also might have been magic i dont remember. ik whenever i did the circus story she was always in it

#37, #38 and #39. i lost the ‘girl’ one early on, like completely lost it and never found it again so idk what happened to it. so the story was the other two were brothers in a constant search for their long lost sister. sometimes id either have another lps be their sister or make a ‘found family’ trope out of somebody

#331. i had two of these and they come with little hats but i lost one of the hats so. evil twin story babey the regular one was a nice old pirate guy but the one with the hat was evil and nobody could ever tell the difference

#641, IM THE TRASH MAN! I START EATIN GARBAGE,

[walkingdeadjunkie]

Southern Comfort [Merle Dixon x Reader]

Requested by: negansgirl06

I was hopping for something where the reader promises Merle that she doesn’t cut he/her self anymore and when Merle our she’s been doing it agin he makes her promise to stop and it ends in some really cute fluffy cuddles? (I’m not sure if you write about angst but I figured what’s the harm I’m asking)

Summary: Merle Dixon was the last person on earth who you thought would give a shit about anybody but himself. But the man had a soft spot for loners. And that's what you were.

Rating: Teen and Up

Warnings: self-harm, swearing and attempted suicide.

Word count: 2,885

GIF isn’t mine, but please check out the blog for the lovely person who made it!

You’ve cut too deep this time and now blood is dripping all over the tent floor. You throw your overshirt onto it and wipe it up as best you can then bring your arm to your chest and slide outside. You need to get to the water and clean it up before it attracts the attention of the others or walkers. It’s dark out here but with one arm out of commission and the other supporting it, you aren’t able to carry a lantern and instead rely on the moonlight to help you down the small walkway and rush to the lake. Stumbling on this and tripping over that. You think of them as you make your way down so carelessly. Your brother, sister and mother. All of whom were torn into ribbons right in front of your eyes by neighbors you’d known longer than your runaway father. People who cared for you since the tender age of three- people who were also dead.

You come to the water and kneel at it. There’s no tears that escape your eyes because they’d dried up a long time ago, that’s why the cutting helps. It gives you an emotional release that nothing else does. You’re about to stick your arm in when a hand wraps around your shoulder and you look up to see the frightening half of the Dixon brothers looming close. You startle then fall back onto the cut arm and cry out. He makes no move to help you and your arm returns to the cradled position it was in before.

“Don’ wan’a puh ya arm ‘n there darlin’, shit’ll make ya sicker than a man who sticks his dick ‘n a mule.” His back is against the moonlight and it reaffirms just how hulking he is. Merle squats down and holds a hand out. Your heart is racing by his sudden attendance. “Ain’ gon’ hurt ya fancy lady. Done ‘nough a tha’ ya self.” You chew on your lip and think about the risks. It doesn’t seem like he has ill intentions at all and so you lay the back of your arm on his open palm. He brings it close up to himself then tuts and clicks his tongue. “Well fuckin’ ‘ell, did a numb’a on yaself didn’ ya?” You stay quiet and he looks over. “Got anotha shirt?”

“What?”

“Got anotha shirt?” You didn’t want to answer, the question felt unsafe. “Oh fuckin’ ‘ell, course ol’ Merle’s tha fuckin’ cunt who gotta tear ‘is shit up for a damn city woman.” He lets go of your arm and your eyes widen when he grips the bottom of his singlet and lifts it high. You shift yourself back and begin to whimper.

“Please don’t hurt me.” You beg softly. He freezes for a moment, then lets the singlet fall back down.

“I ain’ a fuckin’ rapist ya bitch. I ain’ even lookin’ at ya skeleton ass- uppity lil shit ain’ ya?” He says roughly. You feel guilty instantly. “Ya need ta wrap ya fuckin’ arm ‘for ya blackout ‘n die.” He pulls the singlet all the way off and tears the bottom of it like butter. Quickly he lines up the fabric at the beginning of the cut, loops it around the limb and looks up. “’s gon’ fuckin’ hurt fancy lady so bite ya otha arm.” You do as he says and when he tightens it your teeth sink into the skin and you let out a muffled moan. “Now hol’ it up.”

You do just that. The thumping and pulsing in your arm is worse than the cutting was and the man throws his singlet back on. You’re too busy floating around in your own world of pain to really pay attention to him until a shuffling sound catches your interest and you look up to see him with his hand out again.

“Need’a get ya ass inside woman.” You look at his hand again and back at him. You still can’t make out his expression but he helped you and so there’s a slither of trust between you both. You put your hand in his and he helps you stand then lets go. “Why’d ya do it?”

“I’m sad.” You reply simply.

He laughs loudly.

“Well, fuckin’ do some oth’r shit.” Your brows come together while he steps away to create more space.

“It’s not that easy.” You reply with mild frustration.

“Well ol’ Merle’s got drugs if ya wan’ black out ‘nstead?” He offers easily, like it was normal to do so.

“No. Those are bad for you.” 

“An’ cuttin’ ya shit up ain’? Least ya’ll die happier bein’ high on rocks den bleedin’ out by a blade.”

You realise then just how monumentally different you are regardless of the background or personality. He’s a tweaker and you’re sober. You should have picked up on the signs a lot earlier- but at least he was nice.

“I’m fine.” You reply stiffly. He lets out an amused chuckle and stretches out.

“Nah, ya ain’ tha’s why ya fuckin’ did tha’ and told me ya sad.” He sighs and faces you completely with his arms crossed. There’s a long silence before he continues. “Dun do tha’ shit ta yaself fancy.”

The glare is instant. Your face is exposed to the light unlike his so you know he can see it.

“Why the hell do you care? We don’t know each other. This is our first conversation.”

“I see ya wanderin’ ‘round woman, all mopey and alone. I’m a lon’a too, buh I goh lucky wit’ lil Darylina. You didn’. Us kind gotta look out for one anoth’a.” He replies simply.

“Is that why you’re out here? You’re following me?” He laughs heartily and you feel embarrassed for what he’ll say next because it seems like you were the last thing on his mind.

“Get off ya fuckin’ high horse lady. I came ouh ‘ere ta smoke a bowl ‘nd saw ya dumbass trippin’ down tha hill.” He cracks his knuckles before continuing. “I’m gon’ need ya ta reassure ol’ Merle ‘ere sugar, cause he’s worried ‘bout ya. This ain’ normal shit and it’ll only get worse.”

“Why do you need my word?” And why are you worried about me, you think.

“Cause this is fucked up. If ya sad talk ta me, if ya hate me talk ta Darylina. He’s soft like ya. Ya don’ need’a do this ta ya’self. Shit’s hard- yea. Buh ya makin’ it harder.”

Maybe he really was just trying to be nice but you’ve never spoken to this man before and you sure as hell did not need to promise him anything. But he seems like the stubborn kind and so you grind your teeth and answer stiffly.

“Fine. I won’t.” He rubs his hands together then points one of them up the hill.

“Well tha’s dandy fancy pan’s. Now get back ta ya tent and ol’ Merle’s gon’ carry on ‘is night.” You roll your eyes and move around him to return to the camp. You owe Merle nothing and you will do whatever the hell you want.

*

It’s been a week since your run in with Merle Dixon and you haven’t spoken to him since. He leaves you alone and does whatever he does but every once and a while Daryl will give you a nod when your paths cross. The group here is flimsy and there’s a lot of competing egos and personality clashes in it. It’s enough to make you realize how much you don’t want to be here anymore. You spend the morning helping the women clean, barely listening to their conversations but nodding along with what they say like you were. You’ve already made your mind up on what you want to do and stole one of the men’s blades when they weren’t looking since yours went ‘mysteriously’ missing the day after you spoke to Merle.

You’re deep in the woods now. You had hoped to come across a walker to throw yourself at but all of the ones you see have arrows in their heads already. So now it’s left up to you.

This spot is nice enough.

With a flick of your wrist the blade is unsheathed from its handle. You fall onto your knees and cut your hand to check how sharp it is, it’s decent enough to get through a windpipe. With one last prayer and the smiling faces of your family in mind, your eyes close and the metal presses against the skin of your neck. You only manage to slide it less than an inch across when your wrist is squeezed so hard that you cry out and drop it. When you look up Merle is the one you see, his expression is furious and it panics you instantly. He kicks the knife far before yanking you up with a grunt.

“Wha’ tha fuck are a doin?! Ya fuckin crazy bitch. Tha’s tha fuckin worse way ta die!” His volume stings your ears and makes you feel small. But the shock wears off fast and you remember why you’re out here.

“Let me go!” You scream while struggling to pull yourself away. “I’ll fucking stab you before I kill myself if you don’t do it!” You continue to struggle against him but the man is made of concrete and he easily keeps you in place.

Your threat is nothing anyway, one half-assed slap and he could knock you into next year.

“Ya gave me ya word.” He growls. Brows together and creasing a line between them.

“I don’t care! My choices aren’t yours you hick. Fuck off!” He doesn’t flinch at the insult. He’s been called a lot worse no doubt and something so generic bounces off of him like styrofoam.

You kick at his legs and he waits until the steam runs out and you’re left breathing heavily. When you stop resisting he lets you go with a frown. For some reason or another you find yourself wrapping your arms around his middle and bunching the back of his shirt with your hands. You feel it then, a wetness on Merle’s shirt that tells you that you’re finally crying. After so long of nothing it comes out like a burst dam and you can’t stop. Your body is shaking and his hands are on your back while his head rests on yours.

“Ya gon’ be alrigh’. Shit’s jus’ hard at tha’ momen’. Life ain’ tha same way.” He says.

After a while the sobs turn into sniffles and then become whimpers. He’s warm and hard, like a stiff hot water bottle that makes you feel a comfort you hadn’t in a long time.

“I don’t want to be here Merle.” You admit. The grip on you is tightened a little more. “I hate these people, I hate what we’re doing, I hate everything.” He puts a hand on either arm and keeps you in place so he can step back. There’s nothing particularly soft in his expression, but he does seem aware and his attention is yours completely.

“Hate it all baby doll, buh don’ let it kill ya off. We’re all gon’ die. Buh die fightin’ fa somethin’, helpin’ someone- ya don’ like these people? Hell, neith’a do me or Darylina. Buh it works fa now, it ain’ gon’ be forever.” He replies.

You shake your head and break the stare for a moment.

“I can’t help anyone.” You whisper. “I couldn’t help my family so how the hell can I do anything?” Your gazes meet again. “These people don’t need me.”

He lets out a scoff and rolls his eyes. You didn’t expect something like that in such a sensitive situation but it does make everything feel less tense.

“Ya don’ know tha’. Ya migh’ be tha one cunt ‘round who will kill a walker tha’s about ta bite someone. Don’ blame yaself fa wha’s already done. Ain’ no manual on how ta survive a dam’ apocalypse and keep ya people ta’gether.” There’s nothing in his words that feel forced.

“I should have done more.” You say softly.

“Do more now.” He counters.

“But what if I do something wrong? What if somebody needs my help and I fuck up again?” The tears threaten to come back and you have to chew on your lip to keep it together.

He shakes his head.

“At leas’ ya fuckin’ tried fancy ‘n tha’s wha’ matters.” He stands tall again and brings you in for another hug that feels more intimate than it did before, like he cares. “ Ol’ Merle’s gon’ teach ya a few thin’s. Shit that’ll help ya feel strong an’ safe.”

“Like what?”

“Fightin’, huntin’, how ta kill a dam’ walker so ya don’ feel like ya can’. Shit that’ll make ya see how important it is ta be alive fa yaself an’ other fuckers.” He lets out a sigh that you feel deflate in his chest. “Ya ain’ gon’ be alone again.”

“You don’t know that.” You reply with a scoff.

“I fuckin’ dam’ well do woman. Only a Dixon can kill’a Dixon. An’ Darylina ain’ killin’ me yet.” The comment doesn’t make any sense to you because it isn’t true but you don’t correct him. His words feel nice. “And if he do, then ya still go’ ‘im. He’ll watch ou’ fa ya.”

You laugh at the comment and if your head could shake you’d do it.

“We’ve never spoken before Merle.” You say. “I doubt that.”

He lets out a laugh and once again you’re thrown off.

“Well don’ cause he’s tha only reason I knew ya fucked off ou’ ‘ere. An’ why ya didn’ get ya ass eaten by a fuckin’ walker. Cause he don’ wan’ ya dead neither.” You loosen your hold a little and the pieces begin to come together.

“He saw me come in here? Those arrows were his?” You ask.

“Sure as shit did. Boy walks like tha wind. Got a head’a ya ta kill ‘em off while I followed behind. Told ya woman, us lon’as gotta stick ta’getha like flies on shit.” He boasted proudly.

Despite the crudeness of the comment you hold Merle tighter and the tears come back again.

The Dixon brothers were the last men on earth that you ever thought would give a shit about you, yet they did. They cared enough to keep you alive, to show you that they were worried and gave you the time of day when nobody else has. Because they were alone too.

You pull far enough away to still be in his hold and he looks down, eyes widening a little as you tug him down by the front of his singlet. You stretch high enough to reach his cheek and plant a soft kiss on it. When you pull away from the embrace Merle stands tall with a high brow then looks you over slowly. He hasn’t said anything yet. But you know that whatever comes out isn’t going to be as platonic as it was when he was comforting you.

He lets out a low whistle.

“Well goddam’ fancy, if I knew ya would’a done tha’ ol’ Merle ‘ere would’a turned ‘is charm on ta get a little more.” He says throatily with wiggling brows.

Your eyes roll and you wipe at your face with a tired sigh.

“Don’t ruin the moment Dixon.” You say dryly.

“Oh I can make this momen’ even bett’a darlin’. I’m a givin’ man with a lotta love in ‘im.” He says playfully with a wink that you can’t help but smile a little at.

You walk around him and find the blade easily. The weight of it is heavier than you remember. Maybe because now you realise how close you came to leaving because of it. The scent of sweat and something like burning plastic comes close and you look to the side and see Merle staring back. You hold it out for him to take but he shakes his head.

“Shit’ll keep ya safe an’ give ya life instead’a takin it away. Hol’ on ta it. And don’ do this ‘gain.”

“I won’t.” You promise. And this time you mean it.

The sentiment is something you didn’t expect to come from somebody like him. But you take the advice with a smile, sheath the blade and pocket it. Instantly Merle wraps an arm around your shoulders that feels like a tree trunk and directs you back to the camp while whistling. Strangely enough it feels good to be held by him. A part of you wants it to stay that way even when you do get back.

“Merle?” You say while looking up at him with a smile he focuses on. “Thank you.”

He shrugs and let’s out a long sigh.

“Shit das wha’ friends is for fancy! Buh now it’s time ta show ya how ta skin a squirrel so ya can make ol’ Merle ‘ere some food when he too pissed ta cook.”

Squirrel?

“Why the hell can’t you make it? You have hands.” A laugh vibrates through his thick chest and his tone switches back to the flirty one he gave you after the kiss. His eyes brush over your tense expression and he grins.

“Cause tha’s wha’ lady friends is for sugar, well, tha’ and kissin’ ol’ Merle’s cheek.”

[uyuganyu]

“𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐚” 1/5

CHARACTERS: Crown Prince!Todoroki x Midoriya!Reader, Prince!Bakugo x Midoriya!Reader, (slight)  Crown Prince!Todoroki x Regina!Yaoyorozu

PART 1 PART 2

WARNINGS: none for now?

GENRE: little angst, lotsa fluff, and maybe a lil make out shesh later ;)

WORD COUNT: 1.3k 

A/N: first time writing >.< I hope y’all find this and like it! I’m planning to divide this into parts! I got this idea from the manhwa “ The Justice of Villainous Woman ( What It Takes to be a Villainess )”.  English is not my first language, so please do not be afraid to correct me! Also accepting constructive criticism! Thank you, and enjoy <33

“You’ll be sent to the crown prince’s palace to be a regina.” Yes, I may be in love with the crown prince, Shoto Todoroki, but I know he loves my friend. “Father, I don’t want to compete with Lady Yaoyorozu. She’s my friend.” Oh, how I wish they would just listen to me. “Oh dear y/n, there is no such thing as friends in this place. You have no time to be making friends.”

 And that is how I’m here. Preparing a lavender soaked bath for yOuR hIgHnEsS. He has my heart, but of course I’m only the daughter of the duke his father is acquainted with, who was sent here for fun. For the sake of a competition. “Lady Midoriya, we will take care of this! Please go rest!”

 “No! It’s fine, I don’t have anything to do anyways! Would you like to join me for a cup of tea after this?” Father said no friends, but the maids are all just so cute and friendly! “M’lady, it is inappropriate for us to-“ “I invited you, so it should be fine!” As the tub filled with water, and the bathroom was scented by the relaxing scent of lavenders, I looked over to the tense maidens avoiding my eyes. “Please, do come and join me. It gets lonely every once and a while.” Showing them a sad smile that I could only show to close friends, which by now, I have lost. I closed the faucet of the tub and immediately erased any trace of me being there. Before I had closed the door to the hall, I said “I’ll be waiting in my room.”

 And I did. It took about 10 minutes before they had come into my chambers. “M’lady, we got some snacks from the kitchen! The weather outside is very nice and the flowers have fully bloomed. Would you like us to set this up in the garden?” Oh yeah, the roses are in season. It must be looking wonderful. “Sure! I’ll carry the-“ “No, your highness!”

 Your highness? “I apologize for yelling, your highness!” The petite girl bowing in front of me seemed to not know that she had just called me “your highness”. That’s just absurd. It’s kind of funny. “Your highness?” Oh no this is so mean. Why am I laughing at her? “No, no, it’s fine! It’s just weird that you called me your highness when I have no chances of winning over the-“ “That is not true, your highne- m’lady! It’s been months since you’ve been here and you’ve been-“ the head maid came in and covered her mouth immediately. “It’s improper to be yelling at the regina. Have some shame.” She whispered to the poor girl. I saw myself in her. Not being able to say what you want just because of hierarchy. “It’s absolutely fine with me, ma’am. She was only trying to comfort me for I was having doubts in myself about the competition.”

 “Still, your highness-“ again? “Please, address to me as ‘Lady’, I do not deserved to be called ‘Your highness’. I am merely a duke’s daughter. Now, ma’am, would you like to join us for some warm darjeeling tea in the garden?” They look surprised. Didn’t lady Yaoyorozu always invite them? “M’lady, it would be an honor to do so.” Oh no does this mean they’re committed to me? I hope it doesn’t. “You don’t have to bow down! I believe we’re all equals here, so please, don’t bow.”

 They responded with a quiet, almost unheard, “Yes, m’lady.” Finally, some company. Sitting in the garden while enjoying a cup of tea had never felt so nice. It truly is different when you have people around you, laughing, talking with you, and not judging you. What I didn’t expect to see was the crown prince looking at the scene of us laughing. Why did he look disgusted? Did he hate me that much? I chose to ignore it and proceed with tasting the cakes that they had brought with them.

 “M’lady, I hope you don’t mind us asking, but how come you never talk with your highness?” I glanced over to the crown prince and saw him sort of listening. “Well, Lady Yaoyorozu is my friend, and I don’t want to be in the way of their relationship. That is also why during room sharing, I always escape in the middle of the night.” I took another small glance and he wasn’t there anymore. “Now that you know, please do help me next time.” Saying things I don’t mean with a smile is hard. Why did it have to be Momo?

 The maids were looking at me with pity. I don’t like being pitied, but I understood why they felt that way.

 •

 Yaoyorozu is a dream come true. She’s a goddess, with a great heart and intelligent. But all that was pushed into the gutter when I first saw the other regina from the house of Midoriya. She was in the garden, admiring the roses that mother had planted, even tending to them as if they were her own plants. I had heard from his brother, Izuku, that she was in love with me. “But how come she ignores me like I’m the plague?”

 Izuku looked confused before saying “Honestly, I don’t know what goes on in the head of my own little sister, sire. But, I think it has something to do with lady Yaoyorozu being her friend.” Somehow everything was kind of connecting. I had neglected her, too. Come to think of it, who dances her during parties? Regret was starting to settle in my heart.

 I asked one of the servants to send her a bouquet of roses from the garden. What I didn’t expect was for her to return it to me. As I neared her chamber, I heard laughter. From her and a man. “That voice sounds awfully familiar.” Walking up to her door, it suddenly dawned on me how he had obviously been prioritizing Yaoyorozu. Her door looked so beat up.

 “Shut up shitty woman! Stop teasing me!” Is that duke Bakugo? What is he doing here? I knocked on her door quietly and didn’t expect anyone to hear. She opened the door and looked at me with wide eyes. “Your highness! I wasn’t expecting you! I, uh, have a guest. Is tonight our room sharing? Allow me to fix my room-“

 “Hey, half and half bastard.” Aggressive as ever “Katsuki, back to your seat at once.” She sounds like his instructor, but wait, Katsuki??? “Are you two close?” She still looked very puzzled as to why I was asking her. “We grew up together, your highness. Please excuse me, as I have to calm down the angry porcupine.” She curtsied and smiled at me. That smile. That goddamn smile.  I knew it wasn’t very genuine, but it was enough. I’ve neglected her way too much. I heard more yelling on the other side of the door, and it made me wonder if she would be like that towards me too.

 Tonight is indeed room sharing night. Maybe I’ll be lucky and catch her leaving the room. Before I knew it, evening came and we were in our sleepwear. She looked very agitated. Though I understood why she was feeling that way, I can’t help but get hurt. Had I really been that mean to her to the point she doesn’t like being around me? “y/n, are you okay?” she looked at me with panic “Yes, your highness!” has she always been like this? Just moments ago she was pushing king Bakugo into his carriage, how come she’s all fidgety now? 

“Your highness, should I get the royal doctor?”  “Do I look sick?”  she looked at me with hesitation evident in her orbs. “No, your highness. But you’re acting very unusual, your highness.”

[aries-writingblog]

Atlas (3)

Summary: After years of being imprisoned on the Raft, Tony negotiates freedom for his sister Tessa. When she’s free- so is her past, and it will never stop hunting her.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC(Stark)

Chapter Word count: 1879

Warnings: PTSD (subtle ish), trauma, torture (in later parts), suicidal behaviors and thoughts, mentions of death, character death, injury, violence, angst, and a lil bit of fluff in there

Disclaimer: Atlas is my own, original work with characters belonging to Marvel (except Tessa and Dr. Clifton). Plagiarism is not cool kids.

A/N: this is my first work Im posting to this platform and I’m really excited and nervous about it. Hope you enjoy- constructive criticism is always helpful as well!!

She was becoming more comfortable in the Tower. Bucky noticed that Tessa would come down for breakfast- she was always missing by lunch- and would sometimes make an appearance at dinner. The nights she didn’t, he would catch her in the kitchen after hours, eating leftovers. She didn’t seem to mind him joining her anymore. In fact, she was speaking to everyone more and more every day. But something was bound to go wrong eventually. And it happened at the worst possible time.

It had been decided that Tessa would join Bucky, Sam and Steve on a recon mission. It was a small group of the new rebels, based in a small town in Italy. It would be a quick mission- get into their under armed base and get as much information they could. They weren’t planning on any heavy lifting but it would be an easy mission to get Tessa back in the swing of things.

Bucky had been surprised when Tessa sat beside him during the flight- of course a seat over but he had just about figured her out. She never initiated contact and she always kept space between herself and someone else. She didn’t have control of her enhancement at all. She never trained with another human being, never even used her powers near anyone on the team. Not even to heat soup- which if he had the option, Bucky would do every day of his life.

He had been even more surprised when a small box landed in his lap. He glanced up to Tessa, seeing her meet his eyes.

“What’s this?” He’d asked. Picking at the bow on top of the box. She shrugged as he tugged it open. Pushing the lid back, there were two dog tags on a chain, lying inside. They read her name, number and squad unit.

“Last night, you mentioned that they hadn’t recovered your dog tags... kinda seemed like you wanted them back and I know it’s not the same but... I don’t wear mine, if you wanted to use them.” Bucky stared at the tags, picking them up and letting them dangle between his metal fingers. He looked over to her.

“You want me to wear your tags?” He asked, slightly confused by the gesture. Tessa shrugged and clipped her seatbelt on for take off.

“Only if you want.”

“You don’t use them? At all?”

She stared at the tags, a flicker of anguish danced in her eyes before she ripped her gaze away from them.

“I don’t want them.”

So he accepted them. No matter how much Sam was gonna make fun of him for it. He had mentioned his tags during one of their late night meetings in the kitchen. She’d remembered. And gave him her identity. It made him wonder why she didn’t want it. Why she gave them to him. He knew something happened between her experiment and her being admitted to the Raft. Something major. And the tags were another piece of the puzzle. It happened in the army.

The moment the quinjet touched ground, the four of them set off to the coordinates. Turns out, there were thirty soldiers at that base and they had no intention of letting anyone leave alive. They were much more prepared than the group of four had anticipated. Bucky had been distracted, giving Tessa no instructions. That had been made very clear to the three men- she couldn’t do anything spontaneous. She had to have clear, specific instructions if she wanted to remain on parole.

She was simply, thrown into the fight. And the whole building went up in flames. Sam had managed to slip into the control room, miraculously escaping with the intel. Tessa had panicked, as the last man fell to the ground, flames licking at his clothes. Steve finally had to grab her frozen body and haul ass from the building. Tessa went kicking and screaming the whole way- afraid to burn him. She was still trying to keep her control and it wasn’t working too well.

Steve’s shoulder did get burned by her hand- a large red welp forming on his shoulder. Bucky had been hit on the shoulder with a fallen beam, only jarring it. Sam was fine, just a small cough. But Tessa... Tessa sat in the very back of the quinjet the whole way back to the tower, frozen and staring at the wall. Curled in on herself.

When everyone gathered around the conference table, it had been to explain the situation. Tessa sat at the end, still shell shocked and now she was back in chains, with the cylinders on her arms and hands. Tony was present, as her guardian, and Sam, Steve and Bucky were there to explain. And two people they were all finally able to meet- Tessa’s parole officer and her therapist.

Her therapist was knelt beside her, trying to coax anything from the woman who refused to look at, or speak to, anyone. The whole time, they stayed like that. With Tessa barely engaging. Finally, her parole officer relented to her therapist and allowed Tessa to be escorted to her apartment to try and let her calm down. The decision would be made without her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I should go tell her the news.” Tony announced, staring at the table. Bucky’s fingers found the cool metal resting against his chest, his fingertips running over the words engraved. A sudden urge took over his senses. Leaving his mind blank except for one thing- Tessa Stark.

“I’ll go- you guys should get started on that intel. The faster we get it all done, the easier it will be on everyone.” Bucky stood up and tucked his chair under. Steve caught his eye, his brows pinching at the newfound attention to Tessa. Tony seemed to have suspicions about it as well, as he almost argued but Sam cut him off.

“Yeah- I’d hate to agree with him but it’ll be easier to work and plan if we move now. Before things change.”

So Bucky found himself in front of her apartment door, lifting a hand to knock. There was no answer. So he tried the handle- finding it unlocked. He crept inside her apartment- the layout similar to his own. He searched the whole place- a slight panic taking over his systems when she was nowhere to be found- before finding her, knees to her heaving chest, tucked into her bedroom corner. Bucky knocked on the wall gently and her head shot up, eyes red and filled with unshed tears.

“Hey, it’s alright- everything is alright.” He tried for a soothing tone as he approached carefully, kneeling in front of her. Her grip on her knees tightened as she met his eyes.

“They’re sending me back- aren’t they?” She swallowed around harsh tears. “I have to go back to the Raft.”

“No, no. We figured it all out, it’s okay. You’re staying here.” Bucky explained, reaching a hand out to her knee. His attempt at comfort. “No one’s taking you anywhere.” A loud sob ripped from her throat and she shoved her head into her knees, trying to soften the sounds. Bucky cautiously crept forward until he could wrap his arms around her body. Tessa shot back, weakly protesting his proximity. “It’s alright, you aren’t gonna hurt me, darlin’. I’ll be just fine.”

After a long, stiff moment, she allowed the touch, welcomed it as she melted into his shoulder, dissolving into a puddle of frustration and anger at herself. She had lost her control. During the fight, she had been back there. And all of a sudden, her veins filled with panicked warmth. Her muscles stalling as she watched everything burn.

“I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to- it was an accident...” Tessa mumbled into his shoulder. Bucky felt his heart break, holding her together in his arms. If he let go, she would shatter against the ground. So he held her tighter, relishing in the embrace from the woman. “I’m sorry...”

“It’s alright...” Bucky shushed her gently, keeping her tucked into his shoulder. He brought his metal fingers up to brush through her hair gently, trying everything her knew to calm her down.

After what seemed to be hours of this, the atmosphere in the room was calm, the pair had shifted into a more comfortable position. Bucky’s legs spread wide, his back against the wall and Tessa tucked into his chest, hugging his torso. Both of them felt the exhaustion from the day’s events. And before long, they’d drifted off, holding onto each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky’s subconscious began to wave red flags when he could smell smoke. And also a more intense heat than usual. His final red flag was the movement against him- something moving violently. He snapped his eyes open to see flames engulfing his body. Tessa was asleep, fitfully squirming against his chest.

Without thinking, Bucky separated himself and frantically rolled over, pulling his t shirt from his body. Tessa gasped, waking up from what seemed to be a nightmare. Bucky quickly slapped the flame out of his discarded shirt, sitting on her floor, gasping for breath.

“I’m sorry.” Tessa’s apology was immediate. “I never should have let you stay- I should’ve woken up. I’m so sorry.”

“What happened?” Bucky’s voice was rough with panic and sleep. Tessa shoved herself into the corner as far away from him as she could manage.

“Nightmares- memories... I-I- I don’t know what they are- but it happens and I wake up and there’s fire. Bucky, I’m so sorry- I’m an idiot!” She was still a mess from earlier today.

“It’s okay, I’m okay- no burns, nothing.” Bucky promised, reaching out with his metal arm. He didn’t like using it but he thought that she would see she couldn’t burn it and accept the touch. She didn’t. She flinched back even further, refusing the contact.

“Just go!” She demanded, stopping his movements. “Please... leave...”

“Tessa... it’s okay-“

“Go!” She shouted. Bucky sighed and stood up. He stood there, watching her shake and close up. And then, he did as she said. He closed the door softly behind him. She just needed time to recoup. Everything would be fine in a few days. It just moved too quickly for her to comprehend and maintain her control. Bucky could do slow. He cared about her, more than he would admit to anyone that questioned him. But that had been the easiest he’d fallen asleep in weeks. And seeing her upset like that only made him feel worse.

He didn’t know what to do. Sure, he’d flirted with a few girls here and there. Sam had set him up on one of the new dating apps once but it was too much of a hassle to navigate. But Tessa... it seemed so easy. Their late night conversations, which he now knew were caused by nightmares, the conversations they had at dinner, and the few times they had spoken in passing. It meant something to him. Tessa meant something to him. But now... she may never want to be around him again. She thought she’d hurt him, too bruised to see straight. He’d need to be patient. And for her, he could have all the patience in the world.

[cloudbeom]

privacy | Igirl Idol

request by: @l0vely-ang3l​

Genre: Slight angst; slight crack; fluff; comfort

Words: 2.6k+ 

Summary: it was hard enough to hide the fact you’re dating from the public, but its harder to hide the fact from your seven brothers, who literally act like your real brothers even off-camera.

Pairing: BTS x reader (platonic); Implied Sope; Implied Taekook; slight mention of Choi Jongho 

Note: The reader here is 17, so the year set here is 2017 during their ly album when jungoo was about 19~20 (though it's not mentioned, just to clarify these lil details)

A/n: awe it's okay we’re a loving and supportive community here ❤ and blessss you for requesting an 8th member fic I enjoyed writing this! I’ve been dying to write one for ages but my brain is dried of ideas so thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy and thank you ≧◡≦

Also: Shout out to anyone who can spot the BuzzFeed unsolved reference here hehe

“Yeah, don’t worry. I just got home,” You say into the phone with a small smile, kicking your shoes and taking your coat off, the phone between your shoulder and your ear, “I will, stop worrying so much!” You giggle into the receiver as you looked into the body mirror, a huge smile on your face, taking your phone into your hands, “See you soon, I love you too.” You say, before hanging up.

“Who was that?” Jimin suddenly appeared from the doorway, making you jump as you suddenly saw him from the mirror, yelping.

“Who was what? there’s no one here,” You say, shoving your phone in your pocket, “Aish Jimin are you on that crazy, unhealthy diet again? there’s no one here but me.”

Jimin fakes offended, following you as you walked over to your table where all your makeup was, him circling you and looking at your outfit, “You’re wearing your favorite hoodie and jeans that you’ve only worn once when you were at that G dragon concert claiming its an ‘attractive, hot smoking pair’.... almost looks like you’ve got a date,” Jimin sneered, obviously thinking that wasn’t it.

“Ha! with who? I was just out with Yeji, you know, like I always do,” You say, and Jimin eyes you weirdly.

“You say that as you smell like the Victoria Secret perfume you only use when you're at award shows?” Jimin questions, then he gasps, as in putting two and two together, “No... don’t tell me you..really had a date?!”

You immediately turned around and clasp your hand over Jimin’s mouth, looking frantically around. Thankfully the other members were nowhere in sight, probably doing their own thing somewhere around the building or the studio.

“Shut up!”

“Mmmmm!” Jimin says, inaudible because of your hand clamping his mouth, and you only removed your hand when he stopped moving completely. But when you let go, he grabs both of your shoulders and shakes you, as if you’ve lost your mind.

“Are you crazy? With who? Does the staff know? The hyungs? Did you sneak out? How many times did you sneak out before this? oh my god, what if dispatch catches wind of this- (Y/n)- are you crazy?!”

You move over to grab both of his hands that were shaking you to stop him, “You’re being dramatic.” “I am not!” Jimin blurts dramatically, grabbing your shoulders again and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, “It’s just... when?”

“In my defense, I had been seeing him for almost five months now and-”

“(Y/n) is dating?!” A cry from the wide-open doorway was heard, both of you and Jimin’s heads turned to see Jeongguk with his mouth gaping open, next to him Taehyung who had his eyes widened comically, not believing what his ears had overheard.

“Why are you guys standing by the doorway like that?” Yoongi’s drowsy, grouchy voice was heard from the outside, and you shook your head to both Taehyung and Jeongguk who was still in overdramatic shock, standing by the doorway, you mouthing ‘don't tell him, don't tell him!’ because you knew if Yoongi knew you were dating, he’s going to beat your ass.

“(Y/n) has- she has a boyfriend!” Taehyung says, still sounding shocked himself and you shot him a glare, and he shook his head like you were the criminal here, and Jeongguk looks at Tae slowly, his mouth still gaping like a fish, like he didn’t believe what Taehyung had said.

“She has a what,” Yoongi says, his tone not implying Taehyung repeat it, and he didn’t. Yoongi sounding more wide awake now. He walked over, pushing the two maknaes from the doorway to your room, his eyes meeting yours, and the scene of you, fixed with Jimin’s hand tightly on your shoulders and a nervous grin on your face.

“Eheh... Heyy... Yoongi hyung.. um, how was your rest?” You asked, followed by nervous laughter, your eyes passing Yoongi’s head to signal you are so fucking dead to me to the two maknaes who looked at you with much horror.

“How was my rest? let’s all take a seat down at the living room as I call Namjoon, then we can all talk about my rest, yeah?”

“Ah, you- you don’t need to do that, hyung! I was just going to sleep too anyway,” you gave your best fake yawn, stretching, as you attempted to walk past Yoongi.

Only he grabbed you by your shoulder as you passed him, and you sweatdropped.

“I’m pretty sure we have more important matters to talk about.”

Yeah no shit.

.

A quiet awkward silence passed through the living room as all 8 members of Bangtan had gathered there, Namjoon sitting on the couch opposite to you, the three maknaes spread on the floor, Yoongi and Hoseok sitting on the couch with Yoongi folding his arms and Jin standing behind, a stern look on his face.

You would’ve imagined if this were a western film, a tumbleweed would’ve passed right through the middle of the living room as all eyes were on you, Hoseok and Jin having no clue what was going on but sensing it was something bad that you had done.

“Do you have anything you want to say, (Y/n)?” Namjoon asked, looking at you with no hostility in his voice. It was obvious Yoongi had told him what happened, but still, being the great leader he was, he always tried to take every situation lightly, never trying to force out anything from his members like some interrogation.

Much to Yoongi’s dismay, who’d love to just do the latter.

But you understood why Yoongi was like that. He had trust issues yet he trusted his members with his whole heart, you knew he also just wanted the best for you. Ever since debut Yoongi was with you for all those years along with the other members, you’ve never had a boyfriend before. So it was no surprise at how Yoongi was reacting. You were practically a baby in his eyes.

“Uh, no.” You say, earning a light scoff from Yoongi.

“No my ass,” Yoongi muttered, earning a chuckle from the leader, “The fuck are you laughing at?”

“Then, do you have anything to say, hyung?”

Yoongi’s ears turn red at Namjoon calling him out, “Yeah, (Y/n) has a boyfriend she’s been seeing for five months and we didn’t know about it- why are you so calm about this?”

“(Y/n) has a what?!” Now it was Seokjin who shrieked dramatically, walking up to hug you from behind, “But.... you’re a baby!”

“Hey... Jimin’s the baby of the group.” Taehyung says under his breath, Jimin laughs a little, his shoulders shaking from his little giggle, and Jeongguk looks offended.

“ARMY says I’m the baby, though,” He says with a pout, Taehyung sighs, pulling both Jimin and Jeongguk who was on each of his side close to him, all three heads touching.

“All three of us are the babies,” he says, opening one of his eyes to meet yours, “Innocent and pure, unlike you, demon woman.” he hissed tauntingly, and you looked down at your fingers, sighing and not up to your brother’s jokes.

“Would you like to confirm that, (Y/n)?” Namjoon asked.

“Yeah, it’s true. Look I’m sorry okay? I just... I’m just a little overwhelmed of this idol life and I needed an escape.. he’s my best friend and I had a crush on him since before my trainee days. I’ll... I’ll break up with him if it would make you happy.” you say, specifically looking at Yoongi, who turned away from you, his face still mad and pouted, even after your statement.

Seokjin was still hugging you from behind and when Namjoon didn’t reply, you thought he was disappointed in you. And Hoseok decided to step in.

“I don’t think it’s a bad thing, Joon,” Hoseok says, surprising Yoongi who sat next to him, but didn’t attempt to stop him talking, “She said she’s been dating him for five months, and we- or, fortunately, dispatch, didn’t know about it, I think she’s capable of hiding it.”

“But until when?” Seokjin says now, “I mean, I’m all for it, I support (Y/n) too,” He says, ruffling your hair, “But I’m just worried... what if he hurts and breaks your heart? I don’t want you to be depressed and sad.. you’re our little sister..”

“Say something, Joon,” Yoongi says, poking Namjoon’s thigh. 

All 7 members but you turned their heads at their leader. If there was one thing they shared in common, besides their over love for food and fighting over discount coupons that were given as prizes every time they had run BTS, it was respecting their leader’s choices and never arguing on it. Namjoon was and is the leader for a reason, after all.

But you were afraid of what he was going to think of you. You looked up to Namjoon a lot. If you hear him agreeing more to Yoongi, you knew you’re never going to see him the same way again.

“I think...” Namjoon says, then he looks up with a soft smile, coming to a decision, “I think it’s alright,” he says, and you finally look up to see if he was joking, but Namjoon’s eyes only held empathy, no disappointment in them.

“But-” Yoongi started, but Namjoon cuts him off with an, “I’m not finished,”

“I’m a little disappointed that you didn’t inform us, but kept it a secret for five months now, because if something could’ve happened to you in public if you were out with him we wouldn’t be able to help you, (Y/n),” He says, sounding like a parent more than a brother, “We’re a team, we’re not supposed to keep secrets from each other. We’re you planning to keep it a secret forever if Jimin hadn’t caught you?”

You only nodded, looking down shamefully, as if being told off by your father, and Namjoon sighs.

“I understand your motive, (Y/n), I can only imagine how hard it is for you.” He says, “I won’t tell the company about this, you have my word.”

Your eyes lit up, feeling relieved of what Namjoon had said, “re-really?”

“You’re not gonna tell them?” Yoongi asked, looking at the leader, and Hoseok adds on

“Yeah, are you sure not just informing them is really the best idea? We don’t always have to make it public, for safety, y’know?” he says, but Namjoon gave both of them a knowing look and a slight grin.

“Yoongi hyung, Hoseok hyung, her dating secret isn’t the only secret we’re not telling the company. if you remember what I had caught the both of you doing that one time in the studio-”

“I get it I get it! Okay fine a secret it is,” Yoongi says, covering his ears, the four maknaes looking at the two of them weirdly as if getting the message.

“Really?” Jin asked, having shut your ears, “Right in front of the kids? Have you no shame?” he asked, causing Hoseok to laugh nervously.

“Can we not talk about this?” Hoseok says, rubbing the back of his neck shyly, “But.. who’s the guy, (Y/n)?”

You looked down shyly, “He’s my old friend... Now a contestant of MixNine... Choi Jongho..” 

“Who’s that?” Taehyung asked, tilting his head, “Oh my god, is he older than you?”

You shake your head, “He’s about my age, we were classmates since kindergarten, and he’s been dreaming to be an idol too!” you exclaim happily, and Jimin smiled.

“Well, at least you look happy,” He says, cooing, happy for you, “I’ve never seen you this happy and excited since we watched G dragon live.”

“She’s blushing too,” Jeongguk states, “Gross, stop acting like a girl!” he says, not used to your shy demeanor. 

You giggled a little, and Namjoon shakes his head, “But you have to know that dating isn’t your first priority and that if your planning to dance with the devil, you need to live with it when he sets you on fire. Okay, (Y/n)?” 

“I know,” You say, “I’ll keep that in mind,”

“Wait, I realized something,” Jin says, having been playing with your hair the whole time, “You’re only 17... you- you use protection right?”

“What? no-! I mean- we don’t do that, hyung! I love him! Not dick deprived!” you say, causing him to laugh.

“I know, just... make sure you don't do it until you’re 18,” he says, “And also don’t do it in your room- or the whole dorm.”

“I second that,” Hobi responds, and you covered your face that was reddening from what they were saying.

“Gosh, I’m not ready for that,” you giggle, now in a better mood than you were before, the spirits lifting in the room as you turn away from their teasing.

And your eyes met Yoongi’s.

Yoongi looked at you with a soft gaze. You knew he acted how he was just because he probably realized that you’re not the 14-year old who debuted with them during 2013 but now almost 18 and someone who wouldn’t need the opinions and guidance of her older members she calls her brothers.

You and Yoongi are close, admittedly you're closer to him than any other member, and one of Yoongi’s fears was that one day, a day will come when you won't need him anymore. He must’ve thought that day was probably today.

You can only hope that he knows how wrong he is.

“Bring him here sometime, I’d like to meet him,” Yoongi says when he stands, walking over to ruffle your hair, ”But also know that this doesn’t mean shit and your still the baby of the group, despite the only one with a significant other.”

“Are you sure she’s the only one with a significant other, hyung?” Hoseok asked teasingly, wriggling his eyebrows, and Yoongi glares at him to shut the fuck up Hoseok you're not helping at all, Hoseok giggles, finding it adorable as he stands up to join Yoongi too, “but I agree with hyung! Bring him over sometime!” he says, kissing your forehead- a typical Hobi thing, before leaving to probably the studio again. 

“I’ll go make sure Yoongi and Hoseok actually start producing, and not doing other things,” Namjoon chuckles, standing to follow the two out, patting your shoulder as he passed you, “But I’m really proud of you. Don’t hide anything from us anymore okay?”

Jin sighs with a smile, “Glad that’s over. Now if you’ll excuse me, hyung needs to make dinner for the babies,” he says as he stands, humming as he walks over to the kitchen.

"I thought I was the only baby,” Jimin grumbles and Tae sighs.

“We're fighting about who’s the baby here, but are we not considering how she has a boyfriend yet we’re still single?” Kookie pouts, and you can't help but roll your eyes

“I’m just irresistible,” You say, looking at Jimin so he’d back you up, and Jimin nods vigorously, making you smile, “See? Jimin agrees!”

“Oh come on, just date me,” Taehyung winks and Jeongguk fake gagged

“In a million years, hyung,” you hear Jeongguk retort and Jimin giggle, “Aish, enough of this, (Y/n), play overwatch with me!”

Jeongguk pulls you up and Jimin and Tae follow, Tae mumbling about how he’d be an amazing boyfriend and Jimin laughing the whole way.

Needless to say, nothing has changed. Except that you probably love your brothers even more now. Not just because of the fact that you could trust them and solve problems easily when you're together, but also because no matter what they’ll always love and support you. Their baby sister.

[timelvss]

even if it was fake | jjh

  parings: jung jaehyun | ft. johnny & mark 

genre: rich!au, fake dating!au / romance, fluff, angst

warnings: language, a lil smut but not really honestly

word count: 15.8k (IM SO SORRY)

description: trying to save your best friend from his enemy you end up caught up in a whirlwind storm that only seems to get bigger and bigger. also, people apparently like telling the truth after years of hiding. oh, and tiny mark needs to be saved from the world. 

author’s note: first and foremost thank you for waiting. this fic has been in the writing process for so long like nearly a year and honestly i’m just super glad i could finally finish it and share it with everyone here. also i got the whole idea for this from of this fic by @stormae (if you have time you guys should def check it out) and another thank you my soulmate for pretty much proof reading it before i posted it but i’m sure there is still a few mistakes in there so i’m sorry in ahead. BUT anyways please enjoy and please send me your thoughts on it! 

    The hot sun flared across the tent that was doing little to nothing at trying to keep you cool and the champagne in your hand was no longer cold. The men on the horses ran back and forth across the field trying to chase a ball the size of a tennis ball. You never liked polo but it was a sport that was in the family and you kind of had to like it, your choice didn’t matter when it came to family. Your mom was out with Mrs. Kim trying to get Yugyeom interested in you, on the other hand you were sitting down with Mark who was exempt due to his fake wrist sprain.

Your heels were digging down into the grass and you could almost hear the cries of Saint Laurent as the soil muddied the tan heels. The game was only on the second break and the boys were only getting off their horses. A few of the families that joined yours were going on to the field, divot stomping the holes made by the horses making you remember your younger years. Smiling at the memories you glanced back at Mark who was on his third glass of rum and coke and was wobbling over towards Johnny. “Jonathan!” you heard Mark scream and you could only sigh at him.

“I told you I’m not actually called Jonathan, you idiot,” Johnny said as he made his way towards the both of you. His forehead was sweaty as he took off his helmet, shoving it under his arm. You handed him a bottle of water to which he returned with a smile. “He’s already had three rum and cokes so he’s not very aware as of now,” you told the taller man beside you as Mark wobbled through the field  towards the opposing team.

“Of course he has,” sighing he slipped his hand through his hair, “Doyoung is lacking today and Sehun keeps on falling behind, if they dont step up were going to lose the first game of the season,”

Your eyes went to the rest of Johnny’s team, Doyoung who was polishing his mallette. Sehun on the other had was trying to flirt with Chungha who just rolled her eyes and then Yugyeom who was now being introduced to your mother who was holding a glass of white wine. Shaking your head your eyes landed on Mark who was hugging the leader of the opposing team, Jung Jaehyun. He was one of the best players you had heard about, apparently he was known for his sweet character yet fierceful switch when it came to him being on the field.

On Jaehyun’s team there was Taeyong who pretty much was his number two. He was in charge of picking out the tactical leader in the opposing team, meaning he was trying to figure out Doyoung’s next move. Bambam and Jongin who finished Jaehyun’s team but you couldn’t figure out their positions just yet, you weren’t exactly paying much attention to the game to begin with, “And Mark is befriending the opposing team, so that’s also a plus,” you said softly bumping your elbow against Johnny’s side.

“As if he’s not going to die because of the Jonathan incident, he definitely wants to die for befriending them now,”

“Calm down, go get on your horse I’ll get him.” Patting his shoulder he started to walk back towards the team’s tent.

  Next you were taking off your heels, barring them from getting any more dirty than they needed to. You felt stares from different people as you made your way through the field as people were coming back to their seats. The fabric of the brightly colored Versace dress made you stand out as you made your way towards the other tent. With your shoes in one hands you reached over for Mark who was busy talking about how he had just gotten a new Porsche for his birthday,  “C’mon kid, we gotta get back to our seats,”

“Oh Jaehyun! This is the girl I was talking to you about, my sister, the next heir to the biggest fashion house next to Versace and Gucci of course. Gilded House of Fashion, will be hers in the next few years!” Mark said in excitement making you cringe when people reminded of your actual duties as the daughter of Y/M/N, not that you were ashamed but that brought a lot of unwanted attention to your name.

Sighing you pinched the bridge of your nose and looked back at Mark, who was just grinning at you, “Why did I bring you here?” you shook your head and looked at Jaehyun who had a smirk over his lips. “Oh yes, you’re Jaehyun. I’m Y/N,”

“I’m aware, nice to finally meet you,” Jaehyun announced as he stretched his hand out to you. Having no other choice, you took his hand and shook it, his hands were soft with small calluses scattered across his palms. You could only assume it was from holding on to the reigns of the horse for a long time or maybe because of the mallette, after all those things were not light. Just as you were about to take your hand back away from his grip, he moved your hand up to his lips pressing a kiss to the Alexander Mcqueen skull ring that adorned your middle finger. “I hope we can see each other more often.”

Once he let go of your hand you released a breath that you didn't even realize you were holding in. Beside you Mark was wiggling his eyebrows as Jaehyun said his goodbyes to the rest and grabbed his helmet, ready to go into the next chukka. Mark was about to open his mouth but you turned and grabbed him by the ear, tugging him all the way back to your tent.

  The rest of the game was pretty boring to you due to the fact that Mark was asleep on the couch next to you and that Johnny’s team was still tied with Jaehyun’s, eight to eight. A yawn escaped your lips as you felt the seat next to you dipped, it was none other than your mom. Great.

“I saw you talking to that boy on the other team, he’s the heir to the Jung & Associates, the one with all the lawyers,” you turned to look at her and yawned at her words again. “What I’m saying is, he’s a good candidate but I can still set up the date with Yugyeom,”

Slipping your heels back into your feet and glanced back at your mom who’s empty glass was sitting on the table in front of you.  “Mom, are you serious?”

“Sweetie, modeling isn't forever. You're gonna have to take over the fashion house once your modeling career is over. Yugyeom’s family is into electronics so it's nice, but if it’s Jaehyun we have a save card anytime a company tries to get to us. Sue all the people who copy our designs, we’d have all the freedom we could possibly have,” she said putting her hand on your shoulder, you knew since your father passed five years ago she was always on the lookout for you to have a good comfortable life. Only in her book that meant getting a rich man to marry you only for you to become the perfect trophy wife.

“I exchanged a total of maybe fifteen words with him, mom. Also Yugyeom was in my class but I don't even talk to him, please.”

“You're not twenty forever, keep that in mind.”

Gathering your phone and a few pieces of candy, you slipped them back into your tan Gucci clutch that somehow matched with your heels and tapped Mark’s shoulder. He only groaned and flipped over to face the couch so you couldn’t bother him, sighing you rubbed your temple and reached over for a water bottle from the bar. He was going to wake up one way or another. Twisting open the cap on the bottle you took a small sip before someone took the bottle from your hand just as you were about to pour it over Mark’s sleeping form, frowning you looked behind you only to find Jaehyun. He no longer was in his blue and white uniform but in a pair of white dress pants, a soft blue button down that was neatly tucked inside his pants, and a matching navy blazer. If you were being completely honest he looked good, a little worn out from the game but good.

“Let the kid take a longer nap, why don't you and I talk for a bit?” he said as he reached for the cap between your fingers. Handing it to him, he closed the bottle and set it down on the table before looking back at you, “Unless you have somewhere to be, I wouldn’t want to hold you back,”

From the corner of your eye you saw Johnny give you a warning look making you feel just a bit guilty. It wasn't that Johnny did not like Jaehyun, but he didn't like Jaehyun. Jaehyun had a casanova title and you could tell why, he was the one who stole Rose from him and he was still a tiny bit salty about it. Of course, that happened over a year ago, but the memory of it always brought discomfort to Johnny’s face. Nevertheless the rivalry between Johnny was not only in the love field but also in terms of their own social status, Seo Law Firm was the second to Jung & Associates and everyone knew that. Johnny was put as second best whenever he was pinned up against Jaehyun, and honestly you just wanted to run at this point.

“Uh, I mean,” you stumbled over your words not really knowing what to say, you knew if Johnny saw you talk to this man he would be pissed off. On the other hand Johnny was just your best friend and there was no way you were going to be able to carry Mark all the way to your car. Looking back at Mark, you dropped your clutch in his arms which he tugged close to his chest and looked back at Jaehyun. “Sure but quick, I can’t leave him like this for too long,”

“Great,” a smile broke over his lips and you felt your hands get clammy at the sight of his dimples. Dammit cute guys were always the jerks, you thought to yourself as the both of you walked towards the bar. “Would you like something to drink?”

You could only shake your head as you reached over to take the small sunflower out of the vase that was set between the both of you. “No thank you, I had two glasses of champagne and I’d rather not since I’m going to be driving,”

“Whoa, who said all rich girls were dependant on drivers,” he chuckled and the moment it reached your ears you could feel like it was the most beautiful sound you heard. “Most of the girls I know get pissed drunk and have drivers take them home,”

“Yeah well, I tend to live on my own I only come to these events when I’m called,” you said as you started plucking the petals of the yellow flower in your hand.

Jaehyun on the other hand ordered a whiskey on the rocks and was turned to you, giving you his full attention, “Ah, so the model who ditched her mother for her own self made life,”

“How do you know that?”

“Darling, you are at a polo match with some of the biggest families in our city. I knew you, I also know you're best friends with Seo over there who's pretty much killing me with his eyes. I know Mark is somehow cheating out of the game by faking an injury he doesn't have and also I know your mother is set on marrying you off to Kim Yugyeom. Now tell me, am I wrong?”

Narrowing your eyes you swallowed the lump in your throat that was beginning to build up since the moment Jaehyun mentioned Johnny. The flower was long forgotten as your arms came to cross over your chest, “What do you want?”

“I need a favor from you. You have a clean slate when it comes to the media, I’ve gotten into my fair share of scandalous rumors in the past and my own inauguration of taking over my father’s company is coming up in less than a year. I need you to date me, it would send the mature and changed image of me to the media,” you could only laugh at his attempts of trying to get you to fake date him. There was a small smirk that played over his lips as he turned back to look over at Johnny who was sitting down next to Mark who was sitting up now. “Unless you want me to make his life a living hell I suggest you take the deal, I know what to get to push his buttons starting with Rose, his own family, his company, his reputation, and his friends,” he turned back to look at you with a smile over his lips which only read off as fake, you could only sigh and look over to Johnny who gave you a worried look.

“You have until the end of next week to let me know, if I don’t hear anything from you I’m taking it as a no.” His hand made its way to your chin and he leaned in to press a kiss to your cheek before leaving you, standing alone at the bar with the happiness of your best friend weighing heavily on your shoulders.

  “Okay wait, so Jaehyun pretty much looped you into fake dating him because he needs a good reputation when he becomes the next CEO to Jung & Associates and then by telling you that if you don’t do it he’s going to pretty much slowly kill Johnny’s social and real life?” Mark quickly rushed out as he laid next to you on your bed. He was staring up at the ceiling because apparently if he moved too fast he felt like he was going to puke and you didn't feel like cleaning up his mess. He turned his head towards you and sighed, “What did you tell him?”

You were sitting up against the headboard glancing over at your phone that kept lighting up from different notifications, you knew in there was a text message of Johnny asking you if everything was okay. Honestly, you were kind of dying, there was no choice in what you had to do. You had to take Jaehyun’s proposal in order for Johnny to be happy even if it meant being used as a toy, “I don't have much of a choice Mark, I’m going to have to say yes,”

“Well, you don't have to,” his voice was a bit softer making you look at him. Reaching over you moved your hand through his hair, a small smile spreading over your lips. Mark was more than your brother, he was your best friend and your biggest inspiration at times. You knew he always tried to put up the cold front with people but he was just an eighteen year old boy who was in charge as man of the house when your father passed. Being only two years older than him you always looked out for him even when he annoyed you half of the time when he got too drunk.

“Listen kid, it’ll be okay we’ll break it off once he gets settled into the position. I’ll be okay I promise and if something happens you and Hyuck can go beat his ass,” you said laughing softly when you pushed him slightly, getting off the bed and slipping your sneakers back on.

His hands went straight to his stomach making you laugh, you could almost see his face turn green and you could only move the trash can closer to him. “Please, don’t move me again I might throw up on your bedding,”

“You have a death wish, don’t you?”

  Leaving Mark with asprin and the trash can made you feel a little bad but you had to get this thing with Jaehyun over with. It was almost the end of the week and you were avoiding Johnny at all costs which only made you feel even more guilty. Walking inside the offices of Jung & Associates you only felt out of place in your Off-White Jordans and your over priced white t-shirt. Trying to fix the wrinkles in your shirt and wishing the holes on your destroyed jeans would magically somehow fix and close, you walked up to the desk. At the desk there was a pretty blond with straightened hair but wearing a skirt suit thing that would have looked better in a trash bin, but you guessed that was her uniform. “Hello, is Jaehyun in today?”

“Good afternoon, do you have an appointment? Mr. Jung is a very busy person,” the blond said and you felt like rolling your eyes as you glanced over the counter. Your eyes met the floor listings and you only shrugged. The blond followed your eyesight and her eyes widened, but you could only smile and wave to her as you made your way to the elevator.

“I don’t, but he’ll be glad to see me. Call him and tell him I’m on my way up, darling!” A smirk played on your lips as you saw the blond try to run in her heels towards you but the elevator’s doors closed before she could get close. You pressed the button for Jaehyun’s floor and leaned back against the bronze wall. This is it, I’m giving myself up to the devil, you thought as you looked at the numbers on the small screen go higher and higher.

The doors opened with a soft ding leading you down a hallway of glass doors. You made your way down the hallway of doors and at the end you were met with a large wooden door at the end with Jung Jaehyun engraved in bronze letters across the front. You took a large breath before opening the door, only in front of you was no other than Jaehyun with his head tilted back as another blond in a tight (well, more loose now) bun was down on her knees in front of him.

Your eyes widened at the sight in front of you making you quickly shut the door and press your hands against your mouth to conceal the gasp falling from your lips. To be fair you were surprised but also not really. The casanova had to get laid but it couldn’t be in public eye and he had plenty to picks at his own work space. Shuffling came from behind the door and then it opened, the blond girl walked past you fixing her skirt as she walked back into her office.

A hand was placed on your shoulder and you could only cringe at the thoughts of where it had been making you move away from it. “Listen dude, I only came to talk to you before you ruin my best friend’s life. Although, I can come back later or meet you somewhere else I’d rather not go into your office until it’s been sanitized,”

Jaehyun only chuckled at your words making you turn to look at him and sighing. His shirt was sloppily tucked into his pants and his hair was a sweaty mess making you pinch the bridge of your nose. “Did you finally make a choice?”

“Make a choice? I don’t really have one here,”

“Sweetheart, of course you have one. Only one happens to be better choice and the other choice happens to bring misery to Seo,” he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned into the door frame as if it was as simple as picking out your outfit, “So you say yes?”

You could only roll your eyes at his words and slowly nodded your head. A bitter taste filled your mouth as you braved yourself for the words that were ready to spill from your lips, “Yeah,”

“Great, I’ll text you the important information you’ll need to know,” he said pulling his phone out of the pocket of his coat, handing it to you. Biting down on your lip you pressed in your phone number and quickly handed it back to him, “Oh, and also we’re going to be publicly seen at the wedding of Irene and Jin, just by the way,”

Jaehyun fixed his shirt and looked at his reflection on one of the glass doors along the hallway, fixing his hair down. He slipped his phone back into the pocket of his suit jacket before giving you a smile. Your mind was running at his words and you could only remember that the famous Kim-Bae wedding was only a couple of months away, “What?!”

“Be prepared, now I have to rush to a meeting,” Jaehyun said as he pressed a kiss to your cheek again and walked past you towards the elevator. Pressing the button for the elevator and getting inside as the doors opened for him. A kilowatt smile spread over his lips making your skin tingle as the doors closed. You tried to reach for the doors closed groaning internally and covering your face with your hands.

“Jaehyun!”

    Word spread quicker than fire as the days went on, specially after Jaehyun went to your own apartment with a box of flowers that cost a good hundred dollars. The flowers in general were a light pink and had some gold dusting around the tips that you knew Jaehyun himself couldn’t have picked. It was probably another of his blond assistants who gave him head while he worked. The gesture made sure everyone knew you were a thing but still not exposing much of the secrets. Of course, this meant that Johnny had been calling you non-stop, but due to your situation you still hadn’t picked up any of his calls  

Sighing you glanced back at your phone only to find three missed calls from Mark who was probably going to scream at you because you hadn’t been answering Johnny. There were also at least nine missed calls from Johnny while on the other hand there was only one text from Jaehyun.

  [12.35 pm] Jung Jaehyun: We’re going out shopping tonight. You need a dress for Jin’s wedding and we need to be seen in front of the paps. Be ready by 6.

  You glanced over at your clock and sighed as you read the clock. It was only 2:30 which meant you still had time to dread over Jaehyun and this whole deal.

  There was only thirty minutes until Jaehyun would arrive and you had changed into some black jeans that you had made rips into which probably decreased their value to only a hundred bucks. Matching it with a loose fitting long sleeve shirt that read Yeezy on the sleeve but it looked like you could’ve gotten it from walmart and a pair of boots that came up to your ankle. There was a thin layer of makeup on your face and a tiny bit of perfume on your wrists. You knew this date was fake but if there was going to be pictures of you, you need to look good. As the doorbell rang you checked your phone making you furrow your eyebrows, it was only 5:42. Jaehyun was early? Your hand reached for your bag that was on the hook near the door before going towards the door and pulling it open.

“I never thought of you as the kind that arrives early,” you said as you grabbed your keys out of your bag and glanced back at the person in front of you. Everything you had just said and whatever kind of feeling all sinked down to the bottom of your stomach. Standing in front of you there was no other than Johnny Seo. “Johnny.”

“Who are you meeting?” his voice caught you off guard as you quickly looked around. You knew Jaehyun was going to be here in less than ten and yet here you were talking to Johnny and about to witness them try to murder each other.

“Uh, no one,” you quickly blurted out as a nervous smile spread over your lips. In your bag your phone made a soft ding announcing that it had received a message which you knew was probably from Jaehyun. “Just going shopping,”

Johnny had a look on his face that he didn't believe you but he didn't say anything, which made you feel more guilty than what you were already feeling. “Well, can you just postpone for another night, we have things to talk about and I'd rather do it now,”

“Johnny, I can’t n-”

“Seo, what are you doing here?” you heard Jaehyun’s voice before you actually saw him. At that point your eyes were trying to avoid either males and trying to focus on the paintings on the walls. There was a few questionable stains on the walls, you made yourself a mental note to find some painters to get it fixed as soon as possible, “She’s got somewhere to be, with me to be exact,”

There was a moment of silence where you could almost hear Johnny’s breathing from next to you quicken as Jaehyun talked. You felt a set of eyes on your shoulders but knowing who it was from it only made you want to shrink smaller than an ant so that Johnny would gladly step on you. Although what you didn't expect was for him to pat your back, your eyes quickly went up to him only to find a disappointed look in his eyes, “Please text me after you get back home, we need to talk.”

Shopping went too slow to your liking, paparazzi followed you from store to store which made you a little uncomfortable but it wasn’t really up to you. You knew that now that you were back in the comfort of your home there was pictures of you and Jaehyun floating around the internet. Which only lead to your phone to receive multiple notifications from Mark, your mom, Johnny and probably some other people that called themselves your friends. Changing into some comfortable clothes and walked into the kitchen as you heard the door ring once again. In the back of your head you knew it could only be one person, Johnny.

Sighing to yourself you walked go the door and opened it, leaving it open for Johnny to walk inside as you walked back towards your small living room. As you walked you found yourself being engulfed by a pair of arms around you pulling you into his chest. His chin resting on your shoulder as you bit down on your lip and let yourself fall back against him. There was sense of comfort but the guilt rushing to every part of your body which made your eyes water but all you could do is look at the ceiling instead of the man behind you. “I’m sorry,” you whispered as you brought your hands up to your face to quickly wipe away any existence of the tears on your eyes.

“Why are you with him?” he asked instead of trying to change the subject. You knew he wanted to know the reason behind why you were doing it. You also knew if he knew he’d ask you break it off, that he could handle it on his own that it was his own problem with Jaehyun and none of your business to meddle with.

Scrunching your face you thought of excuses to make for it, but none came to your mind at the moment making you sigh. “I just..” you mumbled as his hands turned you around to face him, his face was full of worry and if you looked closely there was disappointment in his eyes and you knew that was from you. “My mom was picking guys from your last polo match, she was thinking of Yugyeom but since Jaehyun actually talked to me set up a date for the both of us. You know, we have to mingle with our own kind sort of thing,” Johnny could only nod, he knew about how much your mother looked at your future suitors and made sure they were within her standards before letting you date any of them.

  That’s what happened with your first boyfriend, Jeon Jungkook. He was your first boyfriend when you attended high school, he was the son of the CEO of a record label but he was new money. New money was never reliable, companies like that were always being brought down or being bought by the highest bidder and your mother saw no future in that. Which is why your own mother thought of sending you and Mark abroad to Europe for a modeling camp that went from country to country. She said it would be a good look on your portfolio which is why you only said yes. Meanwhile your mother gave the label a large amount of money if Jungkook never got near you again and to your luck you only got a text that night that read ‘i’m sorry were over.’ The following weeks were met with you staying in bed and asking Mark to call Jungkook only to find out he had blocked you on every platform possible.

While in Barcelona you met back with Johnny, he used to be in school with you back in the day and he quickly became one of your closest friends. You knew the Seo family, and you also knew that after graduation Johnny packed this things and left. With all the money he had he traveled until he was missing home, you had managed to caught him on his last whim and ready to head back home. After the stunt he pulled he was picked as the black sheep of his family, no one with that kind of duty in his shoulders would just leave his family behind. This is why you were willing to take the bullet for him when it came to Jaehyun, he needed the perfect image in front of his family. He needed to prove that he could handle the family business without the help of his siblings.

  You were brought back to reality when you heard him chuckle from behind you, “I always thought your mom would end up marrying you off to Yugyeom or me or maybe even Hoseok from Hope Inc., but never thought she’d want you to marry him,” he said as he pulled back and ran his fingers through his hair. He sat down on the edge of the couch and looked up at you with his face in his hands, he looked tired and there was dark shadows under his eyes. There was a small pang at your chest but you didn’t know where it came from. He’s my best friend of course, that’s why, you thought to yourself because you couldn’t think of it being something else.

“Yeah well, you know how she is,” you tried to give him a small smile before sitting down next to him. Bringing your hands up to your face you let out a shaky breath not wanting to think about what he had just said to you. He had actually thought about maybe —someday— marrying you. Blinking a couple of times you glanced back at his slumped form, he was breathing at a slow pace which made you even more confused. How in the world was he this calm when he had just said this to you like it was the most common thing in the world?

“Whoa, wait right there, you just said you thought about marrying me. Would you like to explain because I'm trying really hard not to lose my shit,” your voice was at a higher pitch by the end of the sentence. Johnny quickly stood up from his spot on the couch next to you, his face looked panicked before he wiped his hands on his pants.

Johnny let out a nervous laugh as he glanced back at you, shoving his hands inside his pockets. “Oh would you look at the time, I really need to get going I still have paperwork at the office to sign and I have to plan stuff. I should really get going,”

“No, no, no, you’re not leaving until you explain.”

  He was already walking towards the door as you quickly stood up front your spot on the couch. Your legs were moving as fast as they could trying to catch up to him. Dammit Johnny, why were you blessed with long legs? You thought to yourself as you reached over to grab his arm. He was like a deer caught in headlights, unable to move, trapped in his own body and you were the thing keeping him there, rooted. “Explain,”

“I dont think it’s the right time or motive for it,” he quickly said as you reached for his hand making him close his eyes. His mouth only let out a soft sigh before his arms quickly pulled you into his embrace. For a moment it felt like home, like coming home to your warm bed or cuddling into your favorite blanket while you've been out in the cold. Johnny had been your best friend of years, he even shielded you away from the troublesome kids in school. He was the one who would join you and Mark at fashion week. “All you gotta know now it that if you’re ever ready to run, I’m here we can leave and run away from all of this. I’d leave this world with you,”

“Johnny please, you can’t leave me after saying that,” your hands wrapped around him as you buried your face in his chest taking in his scent. His hands were resting on your back like they knew every curve on your body better than you. After all he had seen you in lingerie, that one time he came with you to the Victoria’s Secret catalog photoshoot. His hands moved back up and cupped your face pulling you back so he could finally look at you. The height difference between the both of you always made you feel tiny next to him, but now you felt it in another way. The way you see couples in dramas, those cheesy kind of things.

“You’re dating Jaehyun sweetheart, you left me before I could explain,” he said making you snap away from your thoughts and quickly shifting your eyes towards him. “Even if I explained now you won’t leave him, we both know you wouldn’t like to upset mother dearest. Although the offer still stands, say the word, I’ll leave everything and run with you,”

“You can’t ask me that, you know I’m taking over the House in a few years an-”

Johnny’s hands dropped from your body as he took a step back from you and placed his hands on his hips. A sad smile appeared across his lips as he took a look at you, “Y/N, if you loved me you wouldn’t hesitate,”

“Uh, excuse me, you're the one who said nothing about loving me and you expect me to run into your arms like nothing? I’m sorry but I have people looking after me and most of all, I don't want to be a disappointment to Mark,” you quickly said and he shook his head at your words, his eyebrows raising and only making your temper rise by that point.

“You know he wouldn't see it that way, tell me you love me,”

The deer was no longer Johnny, it was you. The headlights were on you and you felt yourself freeze in front of him. You had only said the L word to a total of three people in your life, Mark, your mom, and Jungkook but honestly you were fifteen you didn’t know better. After the Jungkook situation you hadn’t said it someone in a way that it way, of course, with your family it was different but in that way you had only said it to one person. “I can’t, not because I don’t want to. I just can’t, you should go.”

Johnny had a look on his face you couldn’t quite read, it was a look you hadn’t seen on his face and it only made you feel confused. His head shook once more before he made his way to the door, his eyes met yours for one last time as he opened the door. Neither of you could say anything but the tension was thick, you knew all you had to do was say those three little words and everything would be fixed. The only issue was, would you mean it?

Your eyes kept wandering across the room at a small little water feature the expensive room had, you knew Jaehyun paid over three thousand dollars for this whole room to yourselves but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. The memory of Johnny’s eyes still haunted you when ever yours would fall shut and it kind of freaked you out. It was just another of Jaehyun’s fake dates, the second one in a week and not even a week from where you had turned Johnny down. Honestly you didn’t turn him down but you left him without an answer and seemed worse than an actual no. the feeling of uncertainty was a lot worse than rejection, it was a feeling of being stuck and not being able to move on. Sighing you turned to look over at Jaehyun whose lips were moving yet you had no idea what he was talking about.

It made you feel a little bad that you weren’t paying attention to the man in front of you but you had your mind somewhere. Your eyes found Jaehyun’s making him stop talking and finally sigh, he slumped back against the plush seat behind him. His arms moved to cross over his chest as his eyes studied you. “Spill it out, you barely touched your food and by the looks of it you heard nothing of what I just said,”

“No, it’s fine. It’s nothing really,” you said as you grabbed your glass of water almost chugging half of it down before looking at the over decorated room.

“Well, if you had paid attention you would’ve reacted at the fact that I mentioned that my parents want to meet you,” Jaehyun said as you pushed the steamed vegetables from one side to the other of your plate, rolling your eyes as he spoke. “I know you’re going to say no and I’m not exactly happy about bringing you home yet, but it’s not for me. It’s for Jaemin,”

Your head snapped back up as you looked at Jaehyun, it wasn’t for him to spill on personal things. Even on your dates he never spoke about his family, his life, or his business which was understable you were still a stranger but since you were still here he must have thought he was safe. On the other hand, you knew very little about the Jung family. From what you had heard from Mark, Jaemin was only a year younger than him and was somehow one of the nicest guys in the world. In the world you lived there was only one school that was trusted by the surrounding families, so of course Mark knew this kid.

Jaemin was the school’s prodigy, he graduated a year early and was due to inherit the Jung law firm but due to Jaemin sudden sickness the title was handed to Jaehyun who now used you as his toy. No one knew what Jaemin had and how it all happened, they just knew that from one day to the next he was gone. Slowly nodding your head you could only sigh at his question. Leaning over and standing up, you dropped the white napkin on top of your plate of expensive steak and pasta. Your hands tugged down your black Balmain dress down from your hip where it scrunched up. “Since I’m doing it I’m calling this off early, I’m leaving.”

    The next time you saw Jaehyun he was dressed in a button shirt that looked crisp and clean unlike the ones he wore to the office. Those were always wrinkly due to the activities he participated in. He was polished and his hair was slicked back, he actually looked like a CEO, you thought to yourself as he stretched his hand out for yours. Neither of you ever held hands he always just kept his arm around your waist but never done that. Shaking your hand you tried to fix the chiffon dress before reaching for his hand, the Saint Laurent dress you were wearing was only a bit more expensive than the small Cartier ring around your finger. Although the house you had just stepped in was probably worth more than all the money you could imagine or that you had. The italian marble floor was shining throughout the foyer that seemed never to have an ending row of marble sculptures. A smile made its way to your lips as you looked at each one as you walked past them, you knew the details on them were not cheap and none of these could be less than twenty thousand each.

“Brother! Ah, you finally brought your princess home! Y/N, welcome! I’m so glad to finally meet you, Jaehyun has talked dad’s ear off about you and how proud he is of you,” the voice came from a boy who was walking towards the both of you, his smile was soft and he gave off the happy vibes which reminded you of what Mark said about Jaemin. “Oh! Where are my manners, I’m Jaemin,” Jaemin said as he reached the both of you, he wrapped Jaehyun in a hug and then went over to you to give you one too catching you off guard.

“Yes, I’ve heard about you. I think you and my younger brother used to go to school together,” you smiled as he pulled back from you, in the corner of your eye you saw Jaehyun reach over and move his arm around you making you feel a bit more comfortable. You reminded yourself it was fake but it somehow made you feel safe.

“Uh, right, Mark is it?”

“That’s him,” you nodded your head and turned slightly to glance over at Jaehyun whose eyes were already on you. There was an exchange of smiles between the both of you as you turned your attention back to Jaemin in front of you.

“How is he doing? He was modeling along with Jeno and Lucas back when we were in school from what I recall,” Jaemin said as a smile grew over his lips, you could see why the Jung family was known for their looks. Both Jaehyun and Jaemin were gorgeous and anyone you knew would have killed for a date with either men.

“Still modeling, keeping himself busy,”

“That sounds great, please do send him my regards,”

“I will.”

  During dinner Jaehyun’s mother asked you about your work, your mother, your family, and pretty much everything in the book. She didn’t seem too excited when you told her you were a model and if you had looked close enough you would have seen the roll of her eyes at the mention of the word ‘model’. On the other hand Jaehyun’s father seemed to love you, he kept repeating how much Jaehyun had changed for the better and how proud he was of him. Jaehyun on the other hand looked nervous the whole time they were interrogating you and as well when they praised him. You looked back at him and leaned closer to him, softly patting his knee as you kept on answering questions that were being shot your way. He relaxed under your touch and leaned in to whisper a faint thank you making you nod your head.

By the end of dessert Jaehyun was talking to his dad about the recent case in the office while his mom had stood up and left the table excusing herself. You couldn’t help but to look over at Jaemin who had a grin on his lips. “Jae, I’m going to steal your beautiful princess and show her the rest of the sculptures in the garden while you talk with dad,”

“You don't have to Jaemin,” Jaehyun quickly said as he stood up from his seat right after Jaemin had already gotten up and was making his way to you. There was something in Jaehyun’s voice that you couldn’t quite read which made you look at Jaemin’s whose grin had turned into a small smile.

“I know, it’s fine.”

  The both of you walked down the bushes of roses with scattered sculptures every ten feet or so. The Jung family was old money and not compared to yours which seemed to have come out at a strike of luck with your mother, the only reason your family was respected was due to the designer house making such big revenue. The Jungs were a family of lawyers, ‘The best in the country’ as some newspapers had said. Shrugging you pushed the thoughts away as Jaemin lead the way down the path.  “These are gorgeous Jaemin,”

“Yeah, I think they were all imported from Europe back when I was younger, although I think it was a stupid idea though. Jeno and I broke one two years ago while playing cricket,” there was a snicker that came out of his lips as he looked towards the statue with half of its head missing. It was no longer the rock who seemed soft but you could see the jagged edges of where the ball made its impact on the white marble. “Anyways the reason I brought you out here is because I have to thank you,”

“Thank me?”

“Listen, I know the whole ‘Jaehyun and Y/N’ thing is a lie and if I’m being completely honest it was kind of my idea. Not with you specifically but he’s doing it to save me, kinda,” Jaemin sighed as he sat down on one of the benches on the path. There was sculptured bodies of marble on either side but he patted the spot next to you. The sound of your fake relationship being known made a part of you panic internally. Were you not selling it? Should you have kissed Jaehyun before leaving him with his father? You could only mentally groan to yourself as you sat down next to Jaemin. “It’s really complicated so if you need me to stop please, feel free to. Also, I know what you’re thinking and for your information you have my father sold. My mother on the other hand will take more convincing but I’m sure that won’t be necessary,”

“Okay so, I’m gay,” he paused for a second before continuing, his eyes were on you and you swore he could pretty much see every inch of your brain ticking and running at full speed, “You also know the world we live in isn’t exactly the most understanding, I know it’s 2019 and stuff but like.. When I told our parents they flipped you know? I was supposed to be the wonderkid, the chosen one, the prodigy for the law firm. I mean, that’s why I studied so hard, graduated early, and got the internship with my dad while studying in college. All of it just to become the next man of the Jung family, the chosen one after the first attempt failed. I'm not trying to blame Jaehyun for our parents picking me but he fucked up and our mom couldn't bare to see another failure to happen so I got pushed into the picture. I'm not going to go into detail on what Jaehyun did, it’s not my place to say but that’s why he was sent overseas to study, so I became the main focus for them. I went to school, I fell in love, and at first I thought it was stupid I couldn't like a boy. Then everything just happened and suddenly I was like wow I’m gay.” Jaemin’s eyes were no longer bright, they gave off sad vibe that made you feel cold making you wish you brought your coat with you. In the short time you had met Jaemin you knew it was an odd sight to see him in another mood that wasn’t happy or something related to that feeling.

“Anyways, Jeno asked me to be in the cover of this gay magazine next month with him and I feel like it’s a perfect way to come out. That's why Jaehyun is doing this with you, he’s bringing himself the spotlight for my freedom. What I'm really trying to say is thank you, thank you for being with him and doing this.”

  You were speechless at Jaemin’s confession although part of you wanted to know what had Jaehyun done in the past to have cost him the title of leader of the Jung family. Shaking your head you looked back at Jaemin who had tears in his eyes, he reminded you so much of Mark. Truthfully you knew where Jaehyun was coming from now, not that the way he had asked was good the man pretty much blackmailed you with baggage that wasn’t even yours, but you knew where he was coming from. “Your parents don’t know anything about this, do they?”

Jaemin shook his head as he sighed and looked up at the sky, “They have already given my spot to Jaehyun for me saying I’m gay, can you imagine what they’ll do the moment I publically come out?” he turned his head to you and you could only furrow your eyebrows, shaking your head you reached over and took one of his hands between yours.

“I know we don’t know each other very well, but like, if you ever need a place to crash or a friend to vent out on my door will always be open.”

After Jaemin’s confession to you there was a part of you that wanted to be nicer to Jaehyun but it only brought back the fact that he blackmailed you into doing this. There was another thing bugging you in the back of your mind, why did Jaehyun pick you out of every single other girl at the polo match? Sighing you pushed your wet hair back as you made your way to living room where Mark was on his phone, America’s Next Top Model was playing on the tv but there was no way he was paying attention to it.

“Alright, will you spill it out? I can hear your brain trying to think for the past half hour,” Mark said as he lowered the phone from his face and turned to you as you sat down next to him. He gave you a calm look and shook his head slightly at the sight of you. The sweatpants hung around your hips were Johnny’s old gym ones from when you were still in high school with him and the oversized t-shirt that cost more than your own Gucci slippers.

  “I just.. I found out some stuff about this whole deal I have with Jaehyun and I kind of get it. Why he’s doing it,” shrugging you turned your attention to the tv in front of you where Tyra was handing out photos of the remaining models that were continuing into the next level, “I would do anything for you or you know, someone I care for,”

Mark sat up more and turned to face you, there was a scrunch in his brows that only reminded you of a baby lion which made you smile. “Okay, so let’s say what he’s doing it’s somewhat acceptable and good, why did he pick you out of everyone? Or why is Johnny being dragged into this?”

“That’s the part that I need to know, Mark. I know a part of the story not everything, plus you know how hard it’s going to be to take this out of Jaehyun. He looks like he can barely stand me sometimes.”

“I think we can all relate to Jaehyun in that last part.” Mark could only roll his eyes at your last comment and let out a laugh, tilting his head away from you as you playfully punched his shoulder.

    Once again you found yourself sipping on a glass of bubbly champagne in the middle of a white tent, watching Jaehyun on a horse run back and forth on the field. On the other side of the field, another game was hosted with both Johnny and Mark playing. You no longer sat in Johnny’s tent because apparently to what Mark said you were banned. It was the quarterfinals of the small superficial polo games and August coming up around the corner meaning you had to start getting ready for New York Fashion Week and try to find a dress for Irene’s wedding. The one you and Jaehyun picked was no longer one that both of you liked. Your eyes could only wander towards the other field in which you could faintly see Johnny’s team was winning by two chukkas. If you were there you would’ve probably thrown a party already.

Sighing you turned to look over at Jaehyun’s mom was talking to Mrs. Kim, Jennie’s mom, on a way of how they could get you out of the way and let their children marry each other instead. You knew there was no way Jaehyun would accept, but it was nice his mom was looking out for him and it kind of reminded you of your mom. On the other hand, Jaehyun’s dad was talking to Jaemin about how well Jaehyun had been doing at the law firm recently, which only made you proud. Your mind could only think back to the past couple of days in which in order to play the part of girlfriend of the year you had been taking Jaehyun some packed lunches while he discussed the Jeong case to you. Meanwhile Jaemin’s boyfriend, Jeno, sat next to you with his phone in his hands shamelessly scrolling through instagram. Both boys were adorable together but you knew the real reason he was here, he was going to become a part of this society with or without approval of Jaemin’s parents so he was being briefly introduced.

Pushing the button at the side of your phone, you looked at the time before getting up and walked out towards the tent for the players. Your eyes made their way towards Jaehyun who you gave a small wave as he waited for the referee to call out the start of half time. You stood no longer than five minutes until you found a pair of arms around you making you groan internally as a smile spread over your lips. “Get away, you’re sweaty and gross,”

Jaehyun’s soft chuckle vibrated against your shoulder as you turned to hand him the water bottle that was in your hands. “Oh, don’t pretend you don’t like it,” there was a playfulness in his tone which could only make you roll your eyes while a smile spread over your lips. You felt his hand leave your hip and moved to push back the wet hair away from his face. “Also, have my parents been bugging you?”

“No, but I do think your mother is planning on marrying you off to Jennie,” your head tilted towards where Jennie was sitting, she looked more busy trying to devour Jongin with her eyes than trying to spare Jaehyun a glance.

Jaehyun’s eyes followed the tilt of your head and he could only let out a small laugh as he pressed a kiss to your temple. It was something he had picked up on doing since mouth to mouth kissing was still a thing neither of you would attempt. “Should I propose to you within the next week then? Maybe then she’ll stop trying to find me new wives,”

“Stop that, go plan with your team. Taeyong looks like he’s ready to kill me for hoarding you too much already,” There was a soft blush coating your cheeks, you had always told yourself that everything was fake but there was something about his tone when he said certain things that made your heart flutter. Shaking your head, you pulled back from Jaehyun and gave his hands squeeze before walking towards the edge of the tent, “I gotta go check on Mark anyways, but please win.”

“You got it princess!” he called after you as your feet moved across the field making your way towards Mark who was sprawled out on one of the white couches.

  “Hey punk, how does it feel to finally play after your injury,” you said as you sat down next to Mark who had a damp towel over his forehead and handed him his water bottle from the small table in front of the both of you.

“It sucks, it’s so fu- I mean, freaking hot on that horse. Please remind me how I said yes to this stupid sport?”

You smiled thinking back at when you were still in highschool, Johnny had taken off a gap year and you were on your last year while Mark was struggling to pass geometry. Johnny would come to the school at least once a week to drop you lunch and to spend your free period with you talking about how his new hobby was taking over his life. One day Mark was skipping his physics exam in the library while Johnny and you dropped by. Long story short, Johnny ended up recruiting Mark for his polo team and scolding him for skipping his exams which only made you try to hold in a laugh. The memories were soon interrupted by a cough that sounded like Johnny’s which only made you turn towards him.

“So you show up here but can’t pick up a phone call or take five seconds to answer a text?” he scoffed which made him sound bitter and you could only sigh. Yeah, you were avoiding Johnny because you couldn’t tell him what he had asked you to. It wasn’t that you didn’t love him, but he was a bit too late. “But please, save your excuses. How about instead you go back to your asshole and follow him like a lost puppy again? You know like how you did just before you came back here where you know you’re not welcomed,”

There was a few gasps from the people behind you and tears stung on your eyes but you quickly blinked them back so they wouldn’t spill over your makeup covered face. “Could you not do this here?” you said through gritted teeth as you looked up at the taller man who was now in front of you.

“John,” you heard Mark say from behind you, he sounded threatening which is a tone he barely used with anyone let alone Johnny.

Johnny glanced back at Mark and shook his head as if to say stay out of it to which Mark could only hold his head up in your defence. You knew Mark and there was no way in hell he was going to back down, “Then leave, you’re not welcomed here yet you came,”

“Y/N,” placing his hand on your shoulder Mark sighed as his hand moved over to rub his eyes, he was trying to avoid this much needed argument between Johnny and you but he couldn’t control all of it at once.

“For fucks sake Johnny, I’m doing all of this because of you! All of it!”

“Why can’t you say it back then, it’s not that hard,”

“Uh, guys,” Mark was now tugging on your shirt which you could only push his hands away. You had already started it and you had to end it one way or the other no matter what your brother thought.

“Because it’s too fucking late John, if you had said those three stupid words three years ago it would’ve all been different then we wouldn’t be here! Then again who was I? The stupid best friend who saw you get fucked over by a girl who didn’t love you and I was there to collect every single piece of you that dropped. I was just the best friend, nothing else,” you sighed as your eyes stared back at the taller man in front of you. He looked taken back by your words but you weren’t going to hold anything back this time. “You were too caught up on a girl who just played with you while she kissed another man in front of your face,”

“Guys!” The both of you turned towards Mark who was discreetly pointing to Jaehyun who had just entered the tent, hearing every single word you had just said.

You saw Jaehyun chuckle from where he was standing, his arms crossed over his chest making him look bigger than he was and you mentally begged the earth to swallow you whole. Jaehyun made his way towards you and leaned into your ear to whisper, “We will discuss this later, is that understood?” You could only nod at his words before he pressed his lips to yours, this was the first kiss that the both of you shared. His lips were a bit chapped against your own but they were plush and a bit sweet from the snacks he ate to recover his energy before they called him into the next round.

Before you could do anything with your hands he moved away from you and took your hand tugging you with him, his hand squeezing yours a bit too hard for your liking but you knew why he had done it. As the both of you reached the edge of the tent, Jaehyun turned back to look over at Johnny who hadn’t moved a single inch since you were tugged away from him and Mark. “Good luck Jonathan with winning your game, I’ll see you at the finals. Well that is, if you’re lucky enough.”

  Trying to get Jaehyun to direct a word to you during the remaining time at the polo field was like trying to get water out of a rock. When you had finally worn out his patience on you he grabbed your hand and dragged you to the farthest corner of the tent, “We’re not talking about it now so go sit your pretty ass back in that chair, put on your cutest fake smile, and kiss me when ever I come back to you. Don’t worry our deal will be over sooner than you think, then you can run back into your stupid boy’s arms like nothing happened and you can tell him how much you love him.”

Jaehyun’s lips pressed to yours but this time they felt different, they were rougher against yours and his hands gripped your hips. His lips were salty from the sweat that dripped down as he moved under the blazing sun. There was something in the back of your head that screamed and yelled at you to move away from him but there was also a tug on your heart that made you want to stay with him.

The rest of the remaining game kept you walking back and forth between the couch and the edge of the tent. Jaehyun was playing too rough and you knew the referee was just holding back until he did severe fault so he could kick him off the field. On the other hand, from the other corner of the field you could see Mark screaming something over to Johnny who was dashing from one side of the court to the other. Sighing you could only sit back down on the couch next to Jeno, you knew if you kept on walking there would’ve been a hole on the path by the end of the night.

  As the game finished the referee shook Jaehyun’s hand, they had won once again and so had Johnny’s team. Both men were brought to the middle of the field to shake hands, although neither of them stretched their hands out. You knew why but there was cheers of people around you, they knew nothing about the rivalry that was going to come up in the next game. Jaehyun was only an inch shorter than Johnny but he stood his ground, his eyes never wavering to make it seem like he was scared of the older male. On the other hand, you knew Johnny wasn’t going to back down unless Jaehyun did so first which only made you sigh. Their gazes gave off the I’m going to kill you kind of vibe but there was only a handful of people who caught that, one of them being Taeyong who was walking towards you with a gentler but same look in his eyes.  “What did you do?”

“Excuse me?” you quickly said back with a questioning look in your eyes. Taeyong was the kind of guy who gave off the I’m hard on the outside but soft on the inside kind of look but at this moment you were terrified. Of course, you did your best to hide it because spilling the truth in front of him wouldn’t gain you any sympathy.

“Spill, I know you caused something. Ever since half time Jaehyun has been playing too rough, we all knew and it’s been a miracle the referee didn’t take him out. So, spill it,” he said it again and you could feel a small wave of nerves rush over you, although that seemed to subdue when you felt a familiar hand around your shoulders.

“Leave her out of it, Taeyong.”

  The car ride back to Jaehyun’s appartement was quiet, not only did the both of you not want the driver to hear what you guys were about to say but you had a feeling Jaehyun was putting sentences together in his head much like you were. His hand was still in yours, his fingers were rough from holding the mallet for so long but you didn’t seem to care. It had become a familiar touch, specially when he rubbed circles on your hand with his thumb which was something he did when he was nervous. Jaehyun wasn’t a person to get nervous easily, he was also not the person who would get scared either. On the other hand he was sweet to you when the both of you were out on your pretend dates, he held doors open for you and even shared his drinks with you. In the back of your mind you knew it it wasn’t real but a small part of you always thought they weren’t. Especially when he had bared so many of his secrets to you, a total stranger.

He had told you the reason he wasn’t his parents first choice to be the next CEO, on why he was sent to America to study while Jaemin quickly took his spot and became the favorite child. At the end of highschool he was pushed into studying law which is how he found himself twisted into a life that he didn’t ask for. You didn’t want to ask explanations, after all you weren’t more than the fake girlfriend. According to what Jaehyun said he found himself in the wrong crowd, doing the things at the wrong time and the wrong place. Social media made nothing better of the situation and once the press got hold of it they went wild. Once his parents found out there was nothing he could do but either go on his own will or be exiled from his own family. At that moment you knew he was the way he was, he didn’t have a hard life but he had terrible experiences that you barely knew about.

Getting out of the car, Jaehyun made his way towards you and took your hand once again. His grip was no longer as harsh as it was back at the polo field but it still felt distant and you could only feel your nerves get more shaky as you both walked into his apartment. “Jaemin’s photoshoot cover comes out next month, don’t worry only about two months or so of being with me so you can run back to Johnny,” Jaehyun said as he dropped his keys on the small coffee table in the middle of his living room.

“Jae,” you pleaded as you followed him into the kitchen, he was reaching for a clean glass as he turned to look at you and sighed.

“You want to know why I picked you out of all the girls I could’ve had anyone, but you want to know why you?” there was a small sarcastic sigh that made his way out of his lips as he turned towards you. His shirt was no longer tucked inside his white pants as he made his way up to you. “I was a regular guy in highschool who was on the A list trying to make good grades in order to inherit one of the biggest companies in our society. Meanwhile you were in love with a senior who had no idea you existed as more than just a friend. You only knew I existed until I took Rose from Johnny, I was the bad guy of the story. The player as I know lots of girls in our grade would say but did you see that? Of course not, you went along with the rumors,”

There was a slight pause as he turned to look at the sink and then back at you, he was about to spill everything to you and all you could do is bite down on your lip nervously. “You were too far up Johnny’s ass to notice anyone else and here I was, willing to take one for the team and let you be happy. That’s why I dated Rose, just so you could be happy with Johnny which never happened so I was with her for nothing. Just another stupid sixteen year old boy giving up his happiness so his crush could get the guy she wanted,”

Inside your head there were a million thoughts going through your mind, one of which was with Jaehyun in particular only back when the both of you were still in high school he went by Yoonoh. That’s why things never clicked inside your head, you looked back at the man in front of you and then to the nearest spot where you could sit. Sitting down you could only cover your face with your hands despite feeling his eyes trace every single move you made.

“I took Rose from Johnny so he could see the gift he had in front of him yet he only noticed you when you were taken from him. Everyone in our year thought the both of you were dating until they asked him and he denied it. I know taking Rose from him sent him into a wild ride of partying and going against whatever his parents said, which I can relate to but,” with a shrug he pulled off his shirt and started walking back towards his bedroom, “I picked you because even if it was fake for you, everything I did for you was real to me.”

    Arriving at JFK, you wrapped the faux fur coat around your body tighter sighing at the cold New York weather. Although you hated the weather you loved the thrill of Fashion Week, there was always a buzz in the air and you could only try to hold back your excitement. On the other hand you were very glad that you were out of town, no Jaehyun to worry about, no Johnny to look after, and most importantly no drama. The only drama you had to live with at the moment was trying to survive the show without twisting your ankle as you walked down the runway.

Mark walked with you into the dark SUV that was picking the both of you to take you to your apartment for the week. “Have you talked to either of them?” Mark asked as the both of you dropped your carry on the floor beside your feet while turning to see each other.

There was a nervous laughter that ended far too quickly for it to be genuine, “Does it look like I have?” pulling out your phone you glanced through instagram, liking a few pictures of your model friends mentioning they were on their way to New York for fashion week.

“Wait, so you mean to tell me, you ran away from Jaehyun’s apartment after he pretty much confessed he had feelings for you still?”

“You put it in such bad words, it makes me seem like a terrible person,” you mumbled as you looked back at your brother who had his arms crossed over his chest. There was a serious look on his face and you couldn’t help but to think of a concentrated baby lion ready to pounce, “But, I guess yeah.”

“I can’t believe you, but you know Johnny is coming with Rose to see the Yeezy show on Thursday right?”

At the mention of Rose’s name you could only blink in surprise, turning to look over at Mark but he was already invested in his phone. “With Rose?”

“Yeah, from what he told me before we left she hit him up last weekend, asked him if he was going so they’re coming down together I guess. I thought Doyoung was coming with him but I guess not.” Mark said as he adjusted the neck pillow around his neck and let his eyes fall shut, the neither of you wanting to bring up the subject again.

“Right.”

  The clothes you had sent in weeks prior to your arrival were neatly set into racks across the room in which you were staying. You were in the middle of picking outfits as your phone started going off, it was the ringtone you had set for Jaehyun. There was a small sense of guilt but also a tingling at the pit of your stomach that you knew were not butterflies, most likely that burrito you ate from Chipotle. Sighing you looked at the screen, quickly reading the text message from your boyfriend.

  [6.29 pm] jae: hey, i know you probably don’t want to talk to me but have fun in ny. i hope you arrived well and i’m sure you’re going to do great in your shows, i truly do wish you the best.

  There was a smile that crept over your lips as you read the message a couple of times before laying back on the floor. After the third fake date in which the both of you went to watch Venom, you remembered you had asked him why he was so formal on text to which he replied he didn’t know how to talk to you which is why he was that formal. Since then your conversations with him were more carefree and you had changed his contact name to just jae. Biting down on your lip you read the message again before typing back a quick text and hitting the small blue button to send.

  [6.34 pm] you: it’s fine, but thank you.

[6.35 pm] jae: no problem, i know you’re gonna kill that runway.

  The three grey dots appeared on your screen and quickly disappeared, he was writing more than what he had sent which made you frown but that quickly changed when you received the following message.

  [6.39 pm] jae: also, i wanted to ask you before i show up if it would be okay if i go? it would be good publicity you know for jaemin and stuff…

[6.40 pm] you: sounds good to me.

[6.42 pm] jae: cool, could you open the door?

  Furrowing your eyebrows you looked down at your phone and then through the open door in your room. You walked down the hallway and into the small living room that opened into the kitchen to find Mark. His headphones were in his ears and dancing along to his music while he made a sandwich. He didn’t even notice you until you stood in front of the small island that was in the middle of the kitchen. “What? I’m still a kid in development,”

“I didn’t say anything Markus, but hey, has the door rung or anything right?

“Uh no?” Mark gave you a look of confusion as you walked towards the door and leaned up on your tiptoes to look over the small hole on the door. You could only see someone’s back to which you pulled out your phone again to see the message from Jaehyun. Pulling the door open the person turned and there he was, Jung Jaehyun. There was a lump in your throat that you had barely noticed until you finally swallowed it down which made him give you a tiny smile from the corner of his lips.

  “Hey,”

“Hi,” you could only say that in return, a part of you was surprised but the other part of you wanted to run and hide from whatever feeling you were feeling now. Your eyes took in the man in front of you, the circles under his eyes were a bit darker than usual and his hair was dyed a purpley grey color which somehow fitted him nicely. He also looked a bit thinner than the last time you saw him which was about three weeks ago, but of course in order to keep your relationship believable you kept posting pictures of the two of you as constantly as possible on instagram. “I didn’t expect you to be here so soon,”

There was a small chuckle that came from his lips, although his eyes didn’t meet yours but instead they were focused on the floor. “I wanted to send flowers ahead but you’re not into the whole romantic vibe so instead I shot my shot through text,” he said as he looked back to you, with a shy smile over his lips.

“I have to say it worked then,” you quickly answered back which only made his smile grow bigger. There was not many times Jaehyun smiled, especially not for the press so you could only count this as a win even if it was only the two of you.

“Did it?”

“I think so.”

    Backstage was hectic, there were at least 6 makeup artists running from model to model fixing their last minute errors. You loved the rush it brought to you but at the same time there was a feeling of nervousness running throughout your body. Mark was changing into another outfit due to the hair stylist dropping hair gel on his white shirt. Virgil was walking up and down the line of models making sure everyone was okay before entering the runway. A small deep breath made its way through your lips and soon enough you began walking into the room that was your runway.

While walking you remembered to keep your head up and eyes forward, to keep your ‘resting bitch face’ on, and most importantly not to stumble as you moved. Your eyes were glued to the spot in front of you but from the corner of your eyes could still catch the phones and cameras flashing from besides you as you walked. You took notice of Jaehyun who was sitting down at the front row towards the middle of the runway with his phone in one hand recording everything while his eyes were locked on only you. The denim dress you wore fit on you like a glove but it was quickly swapped with a pair of white pants and a denim trench coat that went down to your knees. Your own feet moved on their own accord that you had forgotten was there in the first place. This side was confident, uncaring towards the world around you and you loved it, you were a rebel here.

  The rest of the day was a blur, you remember pictures being taken of you with the rest of the models, Mark laughing so loud everyone turned to look at him, Virgil popping open a bottle of expensive champagne and handing everyone glasses, oh and also Jaehyun helping you into the car on the way back to your temporary apartment. At that point you were tipsy but not fully drunk, you knew where your were but there was a slight fuzz around your surroundings. Helping you out of the car once it had stopped, Jaehyun’s hand stayed on your hip until the both of you had reached the front door.

“So, I think this is where I leave you,” Jaehyun said as you opened the front door. There was a look in his eyes you couldn’t recall seeing before but you just shrugged it off before stepping in.

“Why don’t you just stay, Mark isn’t gonna be back until the middle of the night most likely. Specially since Lucas was walking alongside us, he’s a party boy and drags Mark to wild places..” you shuddered at the thought of another of Lucas’ party’s they were just a little too much for your liking.

Jaehyun chuckled and shrugged as he walked up to you, holding the door for you to enter. A smile made its way to your lips as you walked inside leaning beside the couch to take off your heels. Unclasping the buckle you threw the shoe somewhere on the floor, although before you could make your way to take off the other one Jaehyun was already helping you with the other shoe.  

“You know, these shoes are worth a lot more than what you think and yet here you are throwing them like they are a only twenty bucks,” a smile peaked through his lips as he set the shoe down next to you and stood back up. “C’mon, I’ll tuck you in before I go,”

Stretching out his hand Jaehyun took your hand in his, his thumb slowly stroking your hand as you both walked towards your bedroom. There was a billion questions that you wanted to ask but none of them could come out, it was as if your tongue was a tangled into a bunch of knots and you had no idea how to get rid of them. Jaehyun laid in your bed as you took your time changing out of the designer clothes. You knew you had to return them but you weren’t too worried about it as you slipped into your comfy shorts and an oversized pastel Gucci t-shirt. There was shuffling coming from your room but you decided to ignore it as you washed the makeup off your face. After layers of skin care were applied to your skin you walked back to find Jaehyun looking out the long window.

“You know, I wish we could stay like this. No fighting, no problems, just us enjoying our lives without caring for the rest of the people,” sighing Jaehyun turned to you. You hand your hands behind your back as you looked at him with worried eyes. There was bags under his eyes and you could only walk towards him and let your hands your his face. Your thumbs caressed his cheeks, softly moved under his eyes and then slowly traced over his lips. “I want us,”

Jaehyun’s hands went to grab yours and you could only let out a small gasp, over both the motion and his words, “Do you mean that?” Your voice came out as a whisper as you turned to him. If you lifted yourself up on your tippy toes, your lips would align and that single thought made your cheeks burn.

A pair of lips were pressed against your own in a matter of seconds and your could only stand still. Jaehyun was kissing you, of course, he had kissed you plenty of times but nothing like this. There were always meaningless, nothing more than the agreement you had taken in order to save Johnny. Although now Johnny was the least person in your mind, all you could think about was Jaehyun. Your lips began to move against him and it felt as if they were made for one another. His lips were chapped and tasted of that peach lip balm he insisted on getting shipped all the way from Japan.

  “I don’t get it Jung, there’s plenty of lip balms in the grocery store why do you want this one?” You asked as you sat in front of him while he typed away in his office. Jaehyun was in his work clothes and was trying to eat his turkey sandwich you had made him while trying to type on his desktop.

“It smells nice like vanilla and peaches, leave me alone, I like that kind but they only sell it in Japan,” he said as he swallowed his food and reached for the empty balm container from your hand. “I got it last time I was there on business with my father, we got there just in time to see the cherry blooms it was a really such beautiful sight,”

Jaehyun looked at the balm and then at you, there was a faint red color in his ears. You had manage to figure out that came from when he felt shy or embarrassed around you. A soft smile creeped over your lips and you leaned into further in, your elbows resting on the desk with your face in your hands, “I’ve never been to Japan.”

“I guess I gotta take you there next, huh?”

  The memory floated in your mind as you pulled away from the kiss, your hands gripping on to the front of his shirt. His hands weighted softly on your hips as your eyes nervously met his, the height difference was seriously making you feel a lot smaller than you knew you were. Jaehyun’s hands moved from your hips to hold you closely with his hands to your back, it was a soft gesture but it felt intimate for some reason. Mentally you weighed the pros and cons of your current situation, but soon enough you threw everything out of the window and leaned up to press your lips back against Jaehyun’s. You felt him smile as your lips moved against his, there was a tingle of excitement fluttering through your bloodstream and all you could think was of the man in front of you.

Jaehyun moved his hands slowly back down until they reached the middle of your thighs, softly squeezing them telling you to jump. The flutter in your stomach was something you never felt before and all you could do was follow instructions, moving your legs around his waist as he carried you towards the bed. There was kisses pressed to your lips, your jaw and neck but all you could feel was the beat of your heart that rang through your ears. You knew there was no way Jaehyun hadn’t heard it yet. His hands held you firmly while yours cupped his face as you turned him to look at you. Now that he was fully himself in front of you it took you a moment to breath in all of his features. His cheeks that had slimmed down a bit since you saw him but were still round and you knew behind they hid his precious dimples. That gorgeous smile that seemed to blind you everytime he would grin at your sarcasm, his laugh whenever you spilled too much of Mark’s stupid ideas to him. His eyes had small lines of where they would crease when he would smile too hard and you thought it was beautiful.

“You have no idea how much I dreamed of this,” you felt Jaehyun whisper against your skin, making your lips break out into a goofy grin. As Jaehyun set you down and your hands reached over to grab him by his shirt, pulling back from you only to take it off. The sight of the shirtless man in front of you could only make a blush cover your cheeks.

There was a soft smile that lingered over Jaehyun’s lips when he leaned down to press a gentle kiss over your lips. “How much then?” you asked as your hands moved down his chest until they reached his hips.

“So much I thought I’d burst when I first kissed you on our second fake date,” he let out a small chuckle as he glanced back at you, his ears were a soft red color that looked almost pink. Bringing your hand up and pushing his hair off his face you could only grin at his confession, who would have thought Jung Jaehyun was such a softie?

It was the middle of the day when your phone buzzed letting you know you had gotten a new message. Bringing your hands up to your eyes and rubbing out the eyes you tried to focus on your surroundings. The light shining through your windows said that it was no longer morning, more like midday and you could only sigh. Sitting up you reached over for your phone and looked at the message on your screen.

  [1.27 pm] Jung Jaehyun: I’m picking you up on ten, be ready.

  Groaning you made your way out of bed and into the shower, letting the water wake you up. While you washed your hair you heard a couple of voices coming from outside the bathroom, “Dude, I’m telling you, she just woke up,”

“Well, she’s not asleep. Y/N, if you’re hiding just so you can skip on the date I’ll tell that giant you call friend!” you heard Jaehyun’s muffled voice and you could only sigh as you made your way out of the shower. Wrapping the white fluffy towel around your wet body, you slowly walked back into your bedroom to find Mark trying to pull Jaehyun out of your bedroom.

“There’s no need to Jaehyun,” you said walking past both boys and towards your closet, pulling out a new outfit, “Now, if you don’t mind I need to get dressed. At those words, Mark tugged Jaehyun away letting you to get dressed alone.

Jaehyun held your hand as the both of you walked down the park, his hand was soft and his thumb would brush against your knuckles every other step. The weather nice in contrast of the other days, the sun was shining down on your skin and you could only be grateful you applied sunscreen before leaving your apartment. There was families with their children playing on the playground, ladies jogging past you with their dogs on leashes, even some elderly people sitting on benches enjoying the day.

“I contacted some photographers so they can get some pictures of us being cute on this date,” Jaehyun said as he pulled you towards the edge of the lake. There was a few ducks swimming on the edge with little ducklings trying to follow after them. “If we stay here they’d get good pictures,”

You could only nod along to his comment as he moved a hand around you, his hand lingering on your lower back. It was such a gentle touch you could only relax back into hist ouch as you leaned closer in the man beside you. Pulling out a small bag of birdseed from his pocket, Jaehyun handed you the bag as you threw it carefully towards the ducks who just moved in closer to the both you. A smile spread over your lips and you turned towards Jaehyun who was already looking at you with a fond look in his eyes that only made you blush. Before you could turn away to hide the color in your cheeks, Jaehyun’s hand found its way to your cheek holding you in place as his lips met yours.

For a brief second you closed your eyes and enjoyed the kiss, the way Jaehyun’s lips tasted of the coffee he had sipped at your apartment, the way his lips were still chapped from biting them too much. As you pulled back you made a mental note to tease him about his chapped lips which only made you smile and turn back to the ducks.

  Looking back at the man above you, there was only one thought that kept running through your mind. Jaehyun. On the other hand you should be thinking about how his hands were under your shirt, his fingertips rough and slightly cold against your skin which only made goosebumps run along your thighs. “May I?” Jaehyun whispered as he pushed the shirt up to reveal your grey cotton panties. At the moment you mentally smacked yourself, you were looking like a model less than 5 hours ago yet here you are in the most boring panties in front of the guy who you were about to have sex with. “Stop over thinking it, I can hear the gears moving inside your head. We can stop and cuddle if you’d like,”

“No, that’s not it,” you groaned and pulled your shirt off to reveal your naked torso for him, blushing slightly and bringing your hands to cover your chest slightly. “I just picked the most boring panties for this occasion,”

A soft laugh could be heard from Jaehyun’s lips as he leaned down to press a kiss to your shoulder, “Well, I think they’re perfect regardless.” There was a reassuring smile on his lips as he leaned up to look as you before taking your hands into his, the soft breeze of the moment made your nipples harden which only made Jaehyun swallow. His eyes were no longer the soft brown they always were, they were now a richer dark brown that almost looked black that kind of intimidated you.

  Before you could do anything Jaehyun’s lips were on the skin between your breasts, pressing gentle kisses down the middle of your torso towards the edge of your panties. They left a trail of wet kisses as they made their way back up towards your breasts. His lips pressed against one of your nipples while his hand was brought up to the other, gently pinching your nipple at the same time his lips latched onto the other. The swirl of his tongue only made you want to clench your thighs together although he was in the way of you being able to do that. There was a feeling of heat throughout your body as if your skin was on fire as Jaehyun’s lips danced along your skin. By the end of the night you were a mess of moans and whimpers, there was small bruises scattering your skin. Some were across your chest while others were at such intimate spots you couldn’t even see unless you were bared to the world, not that it would happen in general but it was nice to point out. With your head resting on Jaehyun’s chest while his fingers moved through your hair, taking out any knots that might have formed from the previous activities, you slowly drifted to sleep. Your mind only thinking over the man who was with you and not caring about the rest of the world.

[starsreign]

☆ /  @irnmaidn​ :  🌠 give me all of them !!! 💖            SEND 🌠 && I'LL RECOMMEND A PLOT FOR US TO TRY OUT !!  || accepting !!

i added a few recently too so like...this gonna be long sry....

☆ AHRI.   i mean...would cass like to meet a sexy fox spirit ?? because she could if she wants !! she’s curious && fairly cordial but she’s very deadly && mysterious && just kind of comes off with an air of uncertainty whether u should trust her or not && i think that’d be fun with cass cause we kno she loves dangerous mysterious women with a taste for biting wit. but in my tangled verse it’s similar to her canon -- she’s a fox spirit && has been alive for so long, ever searching for where her people like her are && where she came from. so perhaps cass could run into her && help ahri post series ?? or she could simply be along for the ride with mysterious && selfish reasons she won’t say but either way it’s always interesting to think about when her cloak finally drops && cass gets to find out about the fox ears && nine tails ;’) also she’d probably flirt with cass sry not sry

☆ NEEKO.   iiim admittedly still working on her tangled verse cause she’s a chameleon but pls love my lesbian chameleon girl she deserves the world tbh ?? she’s extremely sweet despite her entire tribe being destroyed && killed && she FELT every single bit of it && felt her people fade away. she’s pure sunshine but she WILL fight when she has to, when there’s no other option or when people with good sho’ma are endangered. she’s looking to make a new tribe for herself now -- made up of everyone, not just oovi-kat, so she really takes in everyone who she can && who is willing. she can shapeshift by extending her sho’ma to other’s sho’ma which is a sort of spiritual essence && she can borrow their appearance, gain current emotional state && recent memories to better camouflage as them && immediately kno friend from foe so i think it’d be rly neat tbh for cass to encounter that ?? plus with neeko she wouldn’t have to open up too much or have to fight to express her emotions or voice them since neeko can feel && sense && taste emotion -- they have colours && tastes to her. she can also split herself into two, sending out a clone of herself while she becomes invisible && has a lot of floral / plant based magic as well so i think she’d rly vibe with ur cass portrayal !! but tbh she’s very chipper upbeat && kinda rapunzely personality wise -- she’s just very curious about the world && wants to learn everything since she was from a magical tribe that isolated themselves from the world, so for hundreds of years she’s literally ONLY known her tribe && their home && it’s EXTREMELY different from the world ?? she’s so used to not physically speaking && just extending sho’ma && reading emotions from each other, so she struggles with communication && that can frustrate her sometimes, but she’s knows emotions && she can see past like faking things or past all those walls she’s got up !! it’d be neat...theyd be....cute tbh... i rambled too much but i just rly love neeko sm n if u wanna kno more about her or any of these u can ask too !! also...not for nothing but neeko rly rly loves n swoons for strong badass ladies !!

☆ KINDRED.    kindred is literally just...y’kno...death, the grim reaper whatever u wanna call them !! they’re as old as the concept of death && started as one man who cleaved himself in two so he’d have a friend -- they understand the deep pain of loneliness despite having each other now because they were born from loneliness. they’d sense that from her && i think there’s plenty of times she could have met them, when death was near to her or around her && theyre certainly not entirely happy about her resurrection. they’re easily translatable into any verse but they are very ethereal && magical && love to play with people. so anything considering death. near death or perhaps just running into them if cass happens near a particularly brutal bandit robbery about to take place on the road that ultimately she wont be able to stop even if they tell her about it :’)

☆ HANA.   hjdksmd u kno i love these already n all we’ve talked about aa !! but also i’d literally be up for anything i love them sm already !! but like ?? soft moments ?? cass getting to come to her kingdom ?? getting to pilot the mechs n getting to just uuhhhh live her life be free n be happy ??

but also :eyes: hehe what if we also have a plotline where hana finds out about the moonstone thing n meets her while she has the moonstone n tries to talk her down :’) possibly mushy stuff they don’t wanna say could come out too mayhaps :thinking:

☆ AMITY.   she’s a little witch !! in her tangled verse she’s still a witch but she && her family are more in hiding about their powers && school so they’re all hidden away but amity’s family is a very, very noble family with a lot of money && power -- which extends to magic too lol. but it’d be Neat to meet cass n like amity looking up to her ?? she’s a lot like cass tbh, pretentious mean girl type who is rly rly icy n mean n sassy on the outside but she’s soft inside she just CANNOT show weakness n she oof is rly oppressed by her family n standards set for her n she ALSO has a crush on a sunshine girl who happens to be human. n she reads to younger kids n helps them out she’s softe secretly...just has a lot of pressure on her -- her parents wont let her hang around witches with lesser talent either. they’d get along i think after like tension but she’s just a lil teen witch n needs a good strong role model but she could also help cass out with the whole magic thing ykno ?? 

☆ PERFUMA.   ooooh they’d be cute !! perfuma is just...so sweet n positive n !! i’d love to interact with her in any of ur she.ra verses or i could absolutely try to fit her into a tangled verse but i’d absolutely want to keep her plant powers but that’d be neat with ur cass n her powers too !!

oh !! or aaalso, concept: we could have perfuma interacting with chrys !! n like when her n cass start working with the princess alliance n her helping them out n giving them insider info even if shes nervous n its dangerous n just perfuma helping her with that n giving her pep talks about her being brave ?? helping her with fashion stuff, helping her adjust to life where her sister can’t help as much ?? that’d be so cute bhadjksbh

☆ AKALI.   hehehee akali n cass would be hilarious at first i swear it -- they’re both headstrong, stubborn && sassy tbh. she’s from an order of acolytes that try to keep the balance of the spiritual / magical realm && the outside realms; she was raised in it && her mother && father were higher ups && very powerful in the order -- her father died in an attack led by her master’s friend on the order && they had to flee && try to remake with smaller ranks when she was very young. she succeeded her mother as the fist of the shadow but could not vibe with the way her master wasn’t taking action like she wanted to -- she wanted to restore balance in her way && she wanted to spill blood to do it because that’d be the only way to do it, so as an adult she just peaced off to do it her own way. && tbh that could fit in with a tangled verse -- just in the shadows, keeping the balance of magic unseen to most. she’s a trained assassin && she can literally throw three kunai && pierce three different hearts while in the midst of a smoke bomb like she’s insanely good -- she is also tiny n has some amazing muscles on her arms back && has very visible abs n she sexy n she kills me daily !! but they could get along ?? she does some magic but she was never the best at it tbh but depending on where in the timeline they meet it could be interesting ?? like s1 would be neat for her to meet someone like akali ?? another strong woman fighter but she also comes from a place that praised women’s strength instead of putting it down -- buuuuut she was hiiiighly ignored by her own mother in favour of another neophyte growing up so....ykno...Mood right ?? it stings a lot -- she saved everyone from a corrupted tree spirit n had the girl she looked up to spit in her face because she lost her leg n blamed it on akali && then her mother praised the girl instead of akali despite the other kids telling her what akali had done n singlehandedly dragged them to safety n she was like around nine or ten or so at the time... but it’d be cool if they met s1 n got to kno each other n maaaybe akali joins them on their journey since it has a lot to do with restoring the magical balance of the world n they could use a master assassin but also...the angst with cass taking the moonstone n the conflict akali would face about having to oust her cause ykno...shes fucking up the balance n thats her ykno....entire purpose riiiip

☆ WIDOWMAKER.   IDK BUT OOF i love widow. i haven’t thought about a tangled verse or a fantasy verse but like uuhhh something about being a french noblewoman married to a freedomfighter but ending up being brainwashed by some magical sect or talon but they’re part of zhan tiris crew or whatever ?? might be neat. she killed her husband && she’s just a little bit possessed now && a ruthless killer. so maaaaaybe....her trying to stop them on their journey to the dark kingdom ?? but her brainwashing starts wearing off the more she’s away from the source tbh -- but also, she’d be on cass’ side when she has the moonstone n honestly that’s very powerful, she’d have a very powerful ally to keep her on track && help like tell her she’s doing great because in the end she’s on zhan tiris side && she can probably see her the whole time && would be working to help get her back to power. also up in the air whether she ends up regaining herself later on && helping cass escape or whatever but she’d feel intensely guilty yikes but anyway i think it’d be honestly rly rly interesting n i’d love to do something with this if u’d be up for it bhdajkmd n like i said we can talk about any of these if u want too !! 

☆ BENSON.   i have zero ideas for this right now because his series is just so far removed from tangled....it’s a post apocalyptic universe where there’s extremely large animals some of which can talk n want to destroy humans who all live under the surface mostly except the ones who try to survive on the surface. TBH u’d love it...i think u’d love wolf specifically too ?? i dont wanna spoil anything but yeah it might be something u might enjoy ??

but also like mlm wlw solidarity pls ?? he’s a pretty carefree but smart gay teen, he’d get along pretty well with her n play off her iciness cause he’s just like that ?? he started off just caring only for himself n his bug buddy n just thieving a lot but like got a lot of character development -- but i guess he could be a thief in tangled verse ?? n like grow out of it or she could show him there’s better ways n stuff ?? idk...

[harryimaginestuff]

All These Years

a/n: just a lil something I wrote when I got bored today

Inspired by Camila Cabello’s ‘All These Years’

Word count: 1967 

Genre: Angst

UNEDITED 

The one where your love for Harry never went away.

    Prior to Harry’s success in One Direction, there were three constants in his life; his mum, his sister, and you.

    Seeing as both of your parents were close friends, you and Harry had the luxury of growing up together side by side, essentially from straight out of the womb until when the two of you were 16 and Harry auditioned for the X Factor.

    Over time your friendship with Harry became strained, him becoming busy with his steady rise to fame and you with your continuing studies. Although, you never fully drifted apart, seeing as you were a shoulder for him to cry on backstage when he thought he didn’t make it solo, only to find out he made it as a group, and you were there to celebrate when his band came third place.

    You struggled to recall a time where you weren’t there for him in all his milestones in his life. After all, how could you not be there at his every beck and call since you had been in love with him for forever, a fact that was obviously unknown to him.

    You honestly could not remember when something inside of you switched, when you no longer saw Harry as your dorky best friend, but instead as a boy that you saw yourself spending your life with.

    Perhaps it was when he had let you ride his bike when you had accidently popped the tire of yours, or maybe even when he had cried into your shoulder after his long time crush had turned down his date and you realised that he deserved so much better. Perhaps even you had been completely overrun with jealousy when he had taken another girl to your school prom, despite promising that it was you he would be taking.

    Either way you knew for certain that you were in love with him the first time his lips touched yours.

//

    “Harry!” you had shouted happily, running up to your best friend and throwing yourself into his awaiting arms.

     It had been over three months since you had last seen him and to say you had missed him with an understatement. He was bust touring the world on his first ever world tour to which you were immensely proud of. After being in America for almost three months, he had very little time to talk to you during that time, only having a few skype calls every so often and the occasional text message here and there.

     You were worried that after three months of barely talking to each other there would be a riff in your friendship, but as soon as you had swung open your front door to an ecstatic Harry, your uncertainties had completely escaped your mind.

    “There’s m’Y/N!” he had said swinging you around in his arms, before placing you back on the ground, however never loosened his grip around your waist.

     “Look what I bought,” you had smiled, dragging him by the hand into the kitchen, showing him the bottle of alcohol you had bought for the two of you in the morning, “Since you’re not legal in America, I thought we could celebrate the end of a successful tour tonight.”

    “Knew there was a reason why I kept you ‘round.”

    Almost two hours later you found yourself lying in bed besides Harry pissed beyond belief, the empty bottle of alcohol discarded and forgotten on the floor as you reminisced with your best friend.

    “Remember when Sarah rejected me?” Harry laughed, “I was so embarrassed, I bought her roses and I made you help me pick out some jewellery from Claire’s, remember?”

    “Course I do, remember everything.” You said cuddling further into his side.

     A moment of silence passed as Harry rested his head on top of yours, “You’ve always been there for me.”

    “And I always will be, that’s what best friends are for.” You mumbled, meaning every word sans thebest friend bit.

     “Am I always there for you though?” He asked, causing you to turn to him with a frown.

    “What are you on about Harry?” It was probably the alcohol that messing with his mind as he tilted your head up with the hand that wasn’t tucked around your body.

    “Dunno, m’just feel like I’m not always there when I should be. I’ve been busy for basically the last year and we barely got to speak, s’just I’m worried I’ve been a bad friend.” Harry’s drunken confession stumbled past his lips and marched into your heart.

    “You’re stupid.” You replied bluntly as Harry looked at you with an offended expression. “Not in that way, just because you’re stupid to not see that you’re the most amazing person in my life I’m constantly blown away by you and your achievements and everything. I completely understand that you were busy, I mean sure I would have really liked it if you were able to talk with me more, but what can we do now? What’s done is done and I don’t love you any less.”

    As soon as you closed your mouth Harry’s lips chased yours causing you to go still in shock at his actions. His lips moving softly against yours almost begging for you to react until you finally did, hesitantly kissing him back.

    The taste of the alcohol from his tongue reminded you of his intoxicated state, but perhaps his actions was a reflection of his feelings rather than an impulsive decision at the hands of an alcoholic beverage and god did you hope that it was not the latter.

Just as things began to get heated, Harry pulled away a small giggle leaving his lips, “Whoops don’t know why I did that, y/n. We’re so fucked, we’re definitely gonna forget that tomorrow.”

     Although it was clear that the kiss was swiped from his memory the morning after, seeing as he had not issue in treating you the exact same, the memory of his lips against yours still clung to your mind, even seven years later.

    Sadly, the week following your kiss was one of the last times that you would both see and hear from him in a while with you being unable to deal with your unrequited love and growing school work, and him busy with his upcoming music career which skyrocketed soon after, the two of you ‘too busy’ to spend time with the other.

//

    Looking back on your history with Harry, you knew bumping into him would be inevitable, however you never thought it would be like this.

    Standing across the other side of the shop was Harry, the same Harry who you had practically spent the entirety of your childhood with.

    He looked different now, obviously older, seeing as it was practically seven years since the last time you had seen him in person.

    His hair was slightly longer than it was about a month ago, something you knew from keeping tabs on him, obsessively searching his name into any search bar and scrolling through the millions of images that came up.

    His arms looked stronger now, bigger than before, you weren’t surprised seeing as he did make quite the scrawny teen. However, you were sure that they would feel the exact same if they were to wrap around your body and hold you tight. They would still have the same effect on you, still make your heart beat a little faster and still make you weak at the knees.

     His eyes never changed, they still squinted slightly as he smiled, and they still made you stomach do flips, even if his gaze wasn’t trained on you.

    How could he still have such a huge effect on you even now, seven years later?

    You continued to stare at him as you watched as he smiled softly at the person in front of you causing an overwhelming amount of jealous and sadness to consume your body.

    That was the same smile he used to use on you, only this time it was softer and gentle as he laughed breathily at what the girl said in front of him.

    Although you struggled to recall her name, you knew exactly who she was, how could you not when every time you looked up his name an article about his new rumoured girlfriend popped up to accompany the images you went through.

    From what you had read he had met the girl over two years ago through his mates in America, she was some kind of model and was essentially everything that you were not. There were even rumours swirling around that multiple songs on his upcoming album were inspired by her.

    You were happy for him obviously, from your occasional catch-ups with his mother, Anne, you knew he was having trouble with his love life since it was always so out in the open for the public eye to rip apart. Then if had brought her to the UK, to his hometown, she must have meant something special to him, why would he have brought her here other than to meet his family.

    You couldn’t help but think that that could’ve been you, that could’ve been you who he was teasing, that could have been your shoulder he was swinging his arm around. You could’ve been that girl for him. ‘I should’ve told you’ you thought, godwhy didn’t you tell him.

    You watched as the both of turned around facing the exit which just so happened to be in your direction. Scrambling away, you quickly busied yourself with fiddling with the hanging clothes in front of you feigning interest in a shitty attempt at blending in to avoid Harry’s gaze.

     “Y/N?” a voice sounded beside you causing you to freeze suddenly as you turned your head only to be met with the image of Harry standing in front of you, his mouth hanging open in shock, “I knew it was you!”

    “Harry!” you feigned surprise, “I didn’t even see you there.” You lied as you shot him a smile.

    “I can’t believe it,” he said shock still clear on his face as his eyes raked over your figure.

“Me either, it’s been way too long.”

     You were about to open your mouth to agree, however was quickly cut off as the girl from before approached Harry’s side.

    “Harry, babe. C’mon we’re late already.” She said before turning to you and smiling sweetly without a trace of malicious intent.

    “Okay, one second.” He said before turning to you and enveloping you into a tight hug, “You’ve changed your number haven’t you? I tried calling you one time, but you never replied, but my number is the same so call me, okay?”

    He smiled brightly at you holding you at arm’s length right before bringing you into another hug, “God, I missed you so much y/n.”

    You brought him closer to your chest, inhaling the scent that you had missed so much, “Missed you too, H.”

    You smiled sadly as you watched him walk away until his figure reached beyond your eyesight.

    He never got to know how you felt about him that day, or even all those years before. That day everything that you had thought you got over came rushing back full force, however he could never know that he was the one you had been after for years. After all you had never seen him so happy as a week after you unexpectedly bumped into him you found out that he got engaged to the girl from the shop the same day you saw him, and who were you to stand in between his happiness.

    You never told him how you felt, but you probably should have the moment he kissed you all those years ago. Who knows where you would be now?

//

a/n: There won't be a part 2!!!!!!

That’ll teach you to just go for it ;).

Anyways hope you enjoyed it. It was just a little short one since I was obsessed with Camila’s song for like a day so I had to get that out of my head. 

[daddysfangirls-marvel]

Still the same man

Request 

warning: angst, rejection, and just more angst

Summary: Bucky Barnes x (Romanoff) reader. (AU where the end of civil war never happens and Bucky came back with Steve) Bucky is settling in and trying to distance himself from the winter soldier. But when he finds a woman that makes him feel something he tries to ask her out but he is confused as to why this woman hates him with a passion. ( y/n was tortured by the soldier for days and was beaten half to death by him. She still suffers nightmares of him) ( y/n is Natasha’s little sister) (Codename- red sparrow). Will bucky be able to forgive himself once he learns what he has done will he ever be able to separate himself from the soldier. Will he be able to live with seeing the aftermath of his handiwork 

Note: This is not a series and never will be

He was in the far back corner of the room by the window with a book in his hand, he was still on page one an hour later. In front of him sitting on the couch was (Y/n) and Peter she was helping him with a school history project. Steve was nowhere to be found and Bucky wasn’t reliable with the gaps in his memory and (Y/n) was a history nerd and loved arts and crafts so she was happy to help. (Y/n) was a sweet person with a kind heart always offering a helping hand to anyone and everyone, Everyone but Bucky. 

For some reason (y/n) didn’t like Bucky and took it upon herself to avoid him at all cost.

At first, he thought she was scared of him he tried to came himself seem kinder, nicer, less of a threat. It wasn’ t until Natasha said something that he realized she wasn’t scared of him she just downright hated him. She hated his very existence and everyone knew this but no one said anything to him and they refused to tell him why she hated him. He was just running around clueless falling for a girl who wished he’d take his final breath already.

Not begin able to get to close to her without pissing her off Bucky took to watching her from afar. Watching her help Peter treating him like a little brother helping when he needed it and teasing him when every she could. Her tease Rhodey in the most little and adorable ways. Seeing her smile as she and Wanda exchanged secrets in their minds. Betting on her constant competitions with Clint and Sam. Teaching Vision human things and stocking the pantries with Thor’s snacks. Irritating Steve and Tony into headaches. Actually understanding everything Bruce talks about. And successfully shaming and guilt-tripping Natasha with her infamous pout. She seemed to get along with everyone but him.

-

Bucky was only half paying attention as Steve explained what the next mission was Sam and Bucky assignment and (y/n) was just suddenly added on. Everyone else was out of the game as they had all come back from separate missions and needing a few nights rest, or a few months in Bruce’s case he looked like a wreck. He didn’t understand why (y/n) was here she and Bucky never did missions together unless the whole team was involved.

“Sam, (y/n)”

“What about me?” Bucky asked.

“You’ll sit this one out. You’ll be back up if necessary. You guys get going.”

“What?!” Steve quickly left the room trying his best to get away from Bucky or at least create some distance between them and the others for when this pops off. “ STEVE”

“Bucky”

“Why am I being left behind? I’m capable I can work, what’s up?”

“ (Y/n) is more suited for this mission. She’ll get it done faster and better.”

“Wouldn’t have both of us on the team be better than just one.”

“Bucky”

“No I don’t understand I know she is avoiding me but why is everyone trying so hard to keep her away from me? What did I do to her that has all you ready to jump up as a barrier. I don’t understand and I’m tired of tiptoeing around it. You know how I feel about her and you know how hard I’m trying. Tell me something” Steve sighed heavily honestly it wasn’t his place to speak.

“Natasha. If you want to know what’s up with (Y/n) talk to Natasha. She won’t give you everything but she’ll give you enough for you to understand.”

Bucky Glared at his best friend as he walked away. Even his best friend was against him even though he knew how he felt about (y/n). This just wasn’t fair.

Bucky wasn’t a complete douche bag so he waited for a full day before approaching Natasha looking for answers.

Bucky found Natasha in the kitchen making lunch for herself as she hummed a tune to herself and smiling. Bucky pulled up a seat at the counter in front of her slowly she eyed him as he took his seat.

“What can I do for you Barnes?” straight to the topic he liked that.

“(Y/n), your sister, she doesn’t like me. I’ve been trying to find out why but no one will tell me and she won’t give me the time of day. Maybe you know something, you can tell me something, I like your sister and-”

“You shouldn’t,” she said her smile fading “ It’s just a waste of time you should stop and find someone else.”

“What have I done? She is good and kind to everyone but me. She hates me, Why?”

“It’s not that you don’t know it’s you don’t remember and she does. She doesn’t hate you she’s terrified of you... You might have changed but you still share the same face as the Soldier and she can’t get over that.”  Natasha said as she glared down at the sandwich she made. She was no longer hungry her appetite was gone. She put the sandwich in the refrigerator, maybe it would return later. She was angry she decided going to the gym would help despite her still-healing injuries.

“What did he- What did I do?” 

“It’s not my story to tell. But honestly, you should stop trying to force some type of relationship on to her she’s been hurt enough.”

-

Bucky really took Natasha’s word to heart. He began to create a distance he assumed (y/n) needed or liked and kept everything as professional as he could at the distance he created. Everyone noticed the distance he created. It wasn’t like he isolated himself but he did somewhat schedule his time with others making sure whenever he was around (Y/n) wasn’t and if she was there were a great distance and several people between them. Although they didn’t say anything they were happy with this new development and to have more time with (y/n). (Y/n) was also grateful but couldn’t bring herself to approach him for thanks.

-

Bucky had just returned from a two weeks long mission he was completely exhausted and beat down he planned to take a shower and go straight to bed but sleep would not come. With his hair in a messy wet bun, he shuffled his way to the kitchen thinking a cup of tea might help. Stepping out of the elevator he heard voices, he assumed everyone was asleep, going around the corner he finds that the tv is still on and someone is on the couch. Looking forward he finds (Y/n) curled up on the couch with one of Natasha’s thick fluffy blankets draped over her. He decides to ignore her to let her sleep rather than disturb her.

He was about to walk away but (y/n) started to squirm and whimper in her sleep and a few seconds later she was full-on sobbing in her sleep. Bucky thought about calling someone else to come help her but he didn’t want to wake anyone up and she looked like she needed help now. Sighing heavily he walked over towards her and began shaking her gently.

“wake up, wake up, (y/n) wake up” 

(Y/n) suddenly opens her eyes gasping for air once she sees Bucky kneeling in front of her she screams and crawls away from him. Bucky throws his hands up in surrender and backs up.

“I’m...” Bucky gasp as he eyes trails down to her legs and arms which were visible due to her short and tank top. (Y/n) has never worn shorts or short shelves in front of the team ever and now he knew why. She noticed his staring when she realizes what he was staring at she quickly covers herself. “ That was me, right?”

“...yes” she whispers as tears start streaming down her face

“When? Why? how?”

“My sister was in the Red Room Program I was part of a branch Program Red Sparrows we worked closer to home we started out younger too. When Natasha escaped she came and got me but a little while later they came and dragged me back. I had to be punished for leaving and becoming a traitor. They had you punish me. They figured I was close to You because Natasha was but I wasn’t. I didn’t know you .”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” Bucky falls to his knees in front of the coffee table and puts his hands together as if he was praising as he continued to apologizes and cry. (Y/n) stands up wrapping the blanket around herself but the image of her scared skin is already imprinted in his mind.

“I know you are. But it doesn’t make the scars, nightmares, and trauma go away. Sorry Doesn’t fix everything and it definitely can’t fix this” She walks past him the blanket brushing over his shoulder. She stops in front of the elevator and speaks but doesn’t look back. Bucky is quietly crying on the floor.

“It’s not you, it’s your face..if that makes sense.”

He listens as the elevator doors close leaving him alone again. The light of the tv cast shadows on his skin. He looks down at his hands his left hand a brand new hand-fashioned by the scientists of Wakanda and from the brilliant mind of Shuri. It was fresh it was new it had done no wrong. Then his right hand, his right hand still here and just as stained as his left once was but he couldn’t change that. It didn’t matter if he changed his arm, the side he was fighting for, or his name at the end of the day in the eyes of those he hurt he was still the same man. And he couldn’t change that ever.

Request tags

permanent tags

@lovely-lollipops-blog @totallyweirdsam @sexysamsungl @lilylovelyxo @iamwarrenspeace @geeksareunique @that-random-emu @supreme-leader-jazlo-ren @stone2576 @lil-dino-trash @metal-armed-dino @dylanobrienmoviekid @theshortegg @dontevenblink-badwolf-tardis @mandylove1000  @isnotashtonstan @broitsmydick @onceaballeralwaysaballer1213 @mypage-myfandoms @jordynhartley2001 @midnightdream83 @cookies186 @i-am-marvel-trash-forever @marvels-queen-bee @aebeessun @gabriels-gumdrop @the-best-alchemist @smile-my-bean @valeriae2903 @cassiopeia-barrow @uberduber-loulou @spideyboiiiiiii @lookinsidemyhead @lokilvrr

[sorry-didnt-mean-to-stab-you]

Marshmallows and Melodies

Word Count: 1551

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Lil’ bit of angst

Summary: They found each other amidst the silence

A/N: So, this is for @imhereforbvcky‘s Cap2 Challenge based off of the prompt: Silence by Marshmello and Khalid. I honestly loved this song when it first came out and would listen to it on repeat for hours, so hopefully I’ve done it some justice with this fic :)

“Do you even know any of the songs on here?” she teased him, glancing at him through the corner of her eye as she flipped through the songs.

Steve caught a few songs that felt familiar, but he was sure that it was only because they were similar to the songs that played on the radio occasionally back at the camp during the war. The row of songs began to thin out, and he soon grew certain that he wouldn’t be able to find a single song that he knew. That was, until his eye caught a quick glance at the title ‘AC/DC’ scrawled out in shaky letters.

He swiftly plucked it from the pile and presented it to her.

“You know AC/DC?” her voice was playfully skeptical, her eyebrows cocking in disbelief. “I refuse to believe that America’s golden boy listens to rock and roll in his spare time.”

Steve chuckled at her as he flipped the record through his fingers. “Stark plays them all the time when he’s working in the garage, the songs seem to make the entire compound shake.”

“That I believe,” she grinned, but when he held it out for her to place it on the record player, she glanced down at her shuffling feet and gently bit her lip. “Would it,” she began, looking back up at him with guilty eyes. “Would it be mean of me to maybe not play it this time?”

Steve met her eyes, carefully making sure that he looked sympathetic rather than curious. “Is anything wrong?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s just that my ex was obsessed with them and their songs just kind of remind me of him, so…” She diverted her eyes back to the pile and let out a sigh.

He held himself back from giving her a hug, reminding himself that it would probably be weird considering they’d only known each other for an hour or so. They’d met when Steve asked what song she’d been humming to herself as she was working behind the bar, and soon they were discussing everything music even up until now.

“I'm sorry,” he gave her a gentle smile. “You choose a song, I'm sure I could do with a new taste in style considering I'm slightly out of date.”

Stepping back and moving his arm to present the player to the girl he was becoming more engrossed in, he felt his heart twitch at the small grin she gave him. He studied her practiced movements as she flicked back through the pile, her fingers moving with such ease and fluidity that there was no questioning that she knew every song there. After a few moments, their eyes met each other again, her hands gifting him a bright yellow record with a man flaunting a large, white square head over his own.

“Marshmello?” he quipped, turning the record over to reveal no other songs listed on it. The only word written on it in large capitals was ‘SILENCE’.

“It’s a single,” she spoke up, leaning on her tip toes to look at him from over the record. “I originally bought it for myself to play at home but considering that I spend most of my waking hours here, I eventually brought it in and well, now this is where it stays.”

Steve frowned, wondering for a second if he would actually like it, taking into account that the only songs he’s ever liked were old dancing songs from the 40s. He wasn’t so much into the DJs and upbeat rave songs of the 21st century, save for some of the artists like Adele, Queen, Marvin Gaye and George Ezra, who were all Natasha’s forced ideas.

However, pushing his doubts to the back of his mind, he slapped on a smile and nodded. “Let’s do it.”

As the song began to play, she took his hand and led him over to the pool tables. It was around two in the morning and the bar had closed, allowing them to sit themselves down onto the green velvet, her soft hand still intertwined with his. She closed her eyes and began to sway to the tune, and he gazed absentmindedly at the way her lips mouthed the lyrics, and how her eyes moved from beneath the lids, her eyebrows occasionally quirking. The tune, he immediately realized, was transcendental, a melody only fit for the girl beside him. He noticed how the singer’s voice had weaved its way into his head, the words melting into each other as he sang, the beat lifting his fingers and dropping them with a rush of sadness. The artist wasn’t one that he would typically enjoy listening to, but perhaps it was her influence that made him rethink what he tones he thought were dulcet and sweet.

Before long, the song had come to a close, and Steve was blessed once more with the colors of her eyes as they opened.

“So,” she shrugged with a smile. “Did you like it?”

“It was beautiful,” he answered honestly. She rolled her eyes as she hopped off of the table, leaving his hand horribly cold and empty, and carefully replaced the record back into its cover.

“I think it’s sad and lonely if you ask me. And yet there’s something about it that just… hits you hard with a feeling of finally understanding yourself,” she rambled as she shoved the box of records back to beneath the player.

“How does it help you understand yourself?” Steve asked with curiosity, his eyes remaining on her body as she returned to sit back next to him.

Twisting her body to face his, she crossed her legs and began to roll one of the pool balls between the palms of her hands, a laugh escaping her mouth. “Oh, that’s way too deep for such an early time, buddy. I doubt you wanna talk with a stranger about her woes right now.”

“I’ve found that it’s the times when the world sleeps that you can talk about yourself the best,” he recited, remembering all the deep conversations he’d have with Bucky until four in the morning. “Maybe that’s just me, but it’s easier to talk deeper when there’s not so much background noise.”

She raised her eyebrows and shook her head at him, and for the first time that night, Steve noticed the ghost of an exhaustion hidden in the crevices of her face. “If you say so, Rupi Kaur.”

And even though he had no idea who Rupi Kaur was, he remained silent as she took a deep breath and relaxed her tense shoulders.

“Me and my ex split up about two months ago because he’d been cheating on me with my best friend for the majority of our relationship.”

Steve’s stomach dropped as he heard the words. She looked both tired, angry and desolate all at once, and he couldn’t help but feel guilty for her as well as wanting to punch the guy for hurting such a kind and sweet girl.

“Yeah, it’s sad and all. But I think it hurt more because so far, every one of my boyfriends has split up with me because there was someone else. Because my friend was better, or the barista at the coffee shop was better, or my sister was better,” she then let out a dry laugh, causing Steve to flinch slightly at the pain behind it. “It’s funny, because I’ve shared every one of my relationships with someone who was better than me. And I tried so damn hard to keep it all going, to work better and try harder to get them to stay, but they never did. So, when I found out that he’d gone and had his own private relationship with my childhood best friend for over a year… I don’t know, I guess I got tired of fighting because it’s the only thing I’ve ever done. You know?”

Steve nodded. “To some degree, yeah. All my life I’ve been fighting the bad guy, literally in this case, and I'm still fighting them over seventy years later. I guess I'm tired of all of it, and all I wanna do is go home and hang up the shield, but I don’t think I ever will.”

“That sounds lonely,” she looked at him with knowing eyes, and all Steve could think was that this girl, someone who hadn’t lived the life that the team had lived, and someone that didn’t have to suit up every day because they had nothing and no one else, understood.

“It is,” he agreed. “I go home to an empty apartment, I wake up to an empty apartment, and my day job is one where I have no idea if I’ll return back to that empty apartment.”

Steve’s mind had been wandering off as he stared absently at the carpeted ground of the bar, but he broke out of it when he felt her hand on his shoulder. She looked at him with something other than pity for once, something different than ‘I'm sorry you’re in the wrong time with the wrong people’. It was a mix of understanding and her own isolation. She didn’t try to fathom his experience, but somehow, she connected with his words and for one rare moment, he didn’t feel alone.

[a-confused-turtle]

Issues with Doctor’s Appointments

Fandom: Star Trek

Request by @koalawoman:  “HEY its me again☺☺ could i request a bones x reader where reader is trying to escape a physical/medical exam and bones has the crew (uhura, spock, sulu etc) looking for her and it ends in fluff thanks for your time author-chan 😘😆😆” “For that bones fic just requested, can we have hugs and kisses???”

Words: 2,500+

Pairing/Characters: LeonardBonesMcCoyxReader, Jim Kirk, Uhura, Spock, Sulu, Scotty.

Warning: None? A few curses, fluff, some abandonment issues/angst with that.

Author’s Note: I went slightly overboard. This idea really reminded me of my mini Embarrassment series with Steve Rogers of course (link is to Part 1). That also might have affected how I wrote this. I hope you all like it. Bones was fun to write. I like imagining a soft, fluffy side to him only his S/O sees. Anyway, here we are.

If McCoy rolled his eyes any harder it was of his medical opinion that they would roll right out of his head, because this woman was ridiculous. Y/N Y/L/N could stand up to anyone, put her life on the line for the crew at any given moment, and never backed down from anything, well anything except for a doctor’s appointment.

He’d thought it was cute at first, his girlfriend being all nervous about something he viewed as so routine. But, after rescheduling and then just flat out not showing up, McCoy was genuinely concerned and annoyed. Mostly concerned, though the tone of his voice favored mostly annoyed as usual.

“Jim,” McCoy said, demanding full attention as he strode onto the bridge, “Is Y/N here? She didn’t show for her physical this morning.”

“Haven’t seen her,” Kirk replied, swiveling in his chair to face McCoy, “Trouble in paradise, Bones?”

There went another eye roll, riddled with unamusement. What a miracle those things remained in his head, especially with the way Kirk was smirking at him. “She hates doctors appointments, which is personal and something you don’t need to know about. But she has to have an exam, where is she?”

“Uhura?”

Uhura rose from her spot and strode over to the two men. “I haven’t seen her since last night. She had dinner with Spock and I.”

Spock inclined his head toward the group at the mention of his name. “Lieutenant Uhura is correct and Y/N did sign in this morning. But, it appears she is working remotely with her communicator off.”

“She came in early this morning, grabbed a few things and headed out,” Sulu chimed in from his spot without glancing their direction, “Said she had to run some tests.”

“Well, where’d she go?” McCoy repeated, mainly at Sulu who shrugged. “Okay. Let’s just get this over with. We have to find her. I’ll take her room and engineering. Uhura-”

“She might be on the recreational deck, I’ll look there,” she cut across the doctor, “And Spock-”

“Why not simply alert the crew to the situation, she will be found much faster,” the resident half-vulcan countered logically.

“Faster and much angrier, which I assure you, none of us wants,” McCoy returned, shaking his head just at the thought of how furious you’d be with him specifically…

Showing no signs of comprehension to that aspect of the situation, Spock quieted with an air of skepticality.

“The main decks might be a safe bet,” Kirk continued with Uhura’s previously interrupted suggestion.

“She could be in the lab too,” Uhura offered, a definitive determination in her voice.

“Okay, let’s find her, I have to talk to her…” McCoy grumbled, raking his hand across his face tiredly.

~

It was almost noon and you couldn’t have been more surprised you’d eluded capture until then. Only a matter of time until someone discovered you, probably to chew you out, if they were even looking for you. That possibility hadn’t occurred to you. Either way, knowing your boyfriend he’d be furious about how ridiculous you were being. It was just a doctor’s appointment after all. You’d had what seemed like thousands of them, and hated every single one. You kept telling yourself this, your anxiety and deep rooted instinct to run, was all about the appointment, it certainly had nothing to do with your boyfriend… Your boyfriend that happened to be very affectionate even though his personality didn’t tend to give off that cuddly vibe.

You’d only been with Leonard for a few months, though you’d known him for years, and the two of you had been taking things, well slowly. For some reason you couldn’t shake the feeling that it all was too good to be true anyway. The Leonard McCoy being with someone like you? It didn’t seem real. And the further and further you fell for him, an uneasy feeling followed suit, growing and growing… The more you loved him the worse it would hurt when he left, just like everyone else.

You surely weren’t dealing with it in the most mature way, but at the same time you just couldn’t bring yourself to make it to that doctor’s appointment. You just couldn’t face Leonard at the moment.

So, instead, you worked and forced all those jumbled worries out of your head. Only in short bursts though. You kept moving and finding other hiding spots, which led you to Scotty’s office of sorts in engineering just before lunchtime.

“Y/N, lassie, how are ya? And what are you doing down here in lil old engineering?” Scotty greeted you happily the moment he strode up to you.

You’d clearly stolen his chair and even had your feet up on the console, your own data pad over your lap. You smiled widely back. “Just thought I could use a change of scenery from the bridge, besides I missed you, Scotty!”

“Glad to hear it. Don’t see enough of you these days!” The scotsman went about his work around you, motioning for you to stay where you were despite your protests. He had his own data pad in hand, reading it and then what looked like inputting data into the console. “How’s everything up there? Oh, and your boyfriend, everyone’s favorite doctor?”

Internally, you cringed, and willed yourself to disappear. Alas, it did not work and you were forced to answer Scotty’s question. “The bridge is good… You know, nothing too exciting lately, or I’m sure you’d be having a ball dealing with Jim pushing our lovely ship to the limits.”

While you’d certainly given a tactful and happy response, Scotty noticed your aversion to his second question. After all, the man knew you well, you’d spent years on the ship with him, even working in engineering for a while. “And is Dr. McCoy pushing you to your limits?” He asked with piqued interest and no small amount of concern.

You opened your mouth and shut it again, unsure exactly how to respond… You hadn’t exactly spoken about your feelings with well anyone, that just so happened to be a least favorite pastime of yours.

“It so happens, I don’t kiss and tell, Scotty,” you finally responded, though slightly audibly strained. To conceal your vulnerability, you stood, giving him a wink, and left to find a new hiding spot.

“I’m here if you need, Y/N,” Scotty called after you, but made no attempt to follow your course.

~

“Hey there,” a calming voice greeted out of nowhere. You even squeaked, jumping a little in your makeshift seat. But, your initial shock didn’t fade as you knew you were caught, you wouldn’t be able to hide any longer now that she’d found you. A few people had to be looking for you at least. She wouldn’t have left the bridge during the day otherwise, let alone to ventured to the recreational decks.

“Hello…”

Uhura smiled and sat down on the floor next to you. “Where’ve you been today?”

“Around.”

“Avoiding your boyfriend you mean,” Uhura spoke straight to the point, not one to beat around the bush, “He says you hate doctor’s appointments, but there’s something more going on isn’t there?”

You looked away from her, hugging your data pad to your chest. Again, talking about feelings, yuck. “I do hate doctors appointments and I especially don’t want to have one today…” You swallowed, knowing fully well she’d continue to press until she knew everything.

“Any specific reason why?”

In refusal to answer, you remained silent, eyes trained on your feet alone. Detaching yourself was just so much easier than facing those deep, dark fears.

“Sweetheart,” she began and placed a gentle hand on your arm, “Did he do something? Do I need to throw him off the ship? You know I will.” Despite the softness in her voice, you knew her threats held weight with their own fierce undertones. The two of you had known each other for so long too, you were practically sisters, even went through the academy together.

You shook your head, letting your curled limbs fall against her. She took your head against her chest and calmly stroked your hair and shoulders, but didn’t press any further, knowing you’d speak once you found the words.

With a shaky breath, you finally spoke aloud what had been internally tormenting you for weeks. “It’s stupid… I know I’m being ridiculous, but… I just can’t go. If only he’d rescheduled it for tomorrow.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he’s just going to leave me isn’t he, so I need to stop getting so attached-”

“Now, that’s insane. He adores you! You guys have known each other for so long, you’re just perfect together. We were all so glad when you two finally did something about it and stopped dancing around each other,” Uhura tried to assure you.

You pried yourself from her grasp and sat up, collecting your things. “No, it’s just too good to be true,” you insisted, shaking your head as you retreated within the walls of your heart that you’d built up over the years.

While she called after you, you didn’t stop and ran off to one of the less frequented turbo lifts to the labs, where you hoped you wouldn’t find Spock…

~

Luckily, you found no one else in the archives, quickly setting up shop on of the stations in the back, where you might be able to go unnoticed if someone so happened to enter.

Somehow, the person you least expected found you.

“Fancy meeting you here, Y/N,” none other than James T. Kirk drawled from just inside the doorway, “Come here often?”

“Only when I want to avoid you, Jim. You’ve found me out,” you relied sarcastically, making no move to collect your things.

He strolled over slowly, keeping his eyes intent on you, probably reading into your body language. “Aw, and why would you want to avoid me, princess?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you love me, though not as much as you love Bones.”

You flinched at your boyfriend's nickname, refusing to meet the captain’s eyes as he finally stopped in front of you.

“It’s your anniversary today, isn’t it? Three months, nice little milestone…” He frowned at your continued silence, reevaluating the banter. The two of you normally went back and forth easily, happily, both feeding off the other’s witty remarks. Today he was met with different circumstances though. You clearly weren’t up for playing, and that definitely signaled that something was wrong, very wrong. “Y/N?”

Complying out of habit or professional duty, you glanced quickly up at his eyes and away once more.

“He’s worried about you, really worried… I think he even had a surprise planned for you this morning, the anniversary and all.”

You frowned and swallowed slowly. “He’s probably furious now.”

Kirk smiled a little at that. “He is, but more worried. I’m sure he’d love to talk about what’s wrong and fix it.”

With a shake of your head and a mumble, you finally clued Jim in, your oldest and best friend. “He can’t fix it. It’s me. I just can’t stop thinking he’s going to leave, like everyone else…”

He reached across the workstation and placed his large hand over you small one. “Hey, you can’t think like that… We’re so similar you know? We can’t let ourselves open up to people, it takes a long ass time and it scares the shit out of us. It’s just easier, not to mention safer, to be alone and shut yourself off. But, we can’t be alone forever, where’s the fun in that? Come on, look at me.”

When you finally brought your slightly teary eyes to his, he continued softly, “Leonard loves you and I know you love him. That should be all that matters. Besides, we’ll all beat the shit out of him if he hurts you.”

You finally smiled faintly, offering a slight chuckle at your captain’s words. “Okay, Jim,” you sniffed and he squeezed your hand, “Where is he?”

~

As you walked down the corridor to your quarters, you forced yourself to take deep breaths and focus on that feeling, not the distinct dread filling your gut. The closer you got to your room, the shakier you felt, and the tremors in your hands proved that. You’d never been so nervous about such a silly conversation.

Once you reached your door, you about turned around and bolted away; only Jim’s words kept your feet rooted to the floor. You had to do this. Then, as if fate had a hand in it all, your door wooshed open with Leonard standing right in front of you.

You must have looked grave, or paler than normal, because Leonard’s face immediately fell and he pulled you inside. “Oh, sweetheart, sit down, please. Are you alright?” He sat you down on your bed and kept trying to look you over before he sat down next to you.

“I’m fine,” you said with a deep sigh, which didn’t help your case at all. “Okay, fine, I’m not, Leonard,” you grumbled as he gave you his ‘I don’t believe you’ look.

“Then, tell me what’s wrong, please.” His eyes showed just how pleading his words were even if his voice didn’t. They glinted nervously, with his own tide of dread swimming around in them.

“I… I freaked out, okay? You know how hard it is for me to open up to people. It’s hard to put myself out there, and I’ve been scared that you’re going to leave me… You just matter so much to me, everyone always leaves, I can’t…”

Leonard waited patiently for you to say everything you wanted, and he took your hand the moment your voice broke the first time, squeezing it tightly with both of his as the tears pooled in your eyes.

“I know I’m being ridiculous, but with today as our anniversary. I couldn’t make the appointment.”

Without a word, several moments after you’d finished speaking, Leonard took your face gently in his hands and pressed his forehead against yours, his eyes falling shut. “I am never, never going to leave you, Y/N. I know we’ve only been dating technically for three months, but I can’t imagine my life without you after all these years that I’ve known you. I think I knew a while ago, you’re it for me. I love you so much. I’ll never love anyone like I love you. And that scares the shit out of me too, you’re not the only one. Believe me. I wouldn’t have it any other way though, so please don’t push me away.” His voice was gentler and sweeter than you’d ever heard it and that made your insides melt.

When he pulled away too look at you directly, verifying that he’d gotten through to you, you brought your lips to his without a moment of hesitation. He kissed back gratefully, wrapping his arms around you tightly.

“I don’t want to push you away. I’m sorry… I love you too,” you mumbled into his neck once you disconnected lips.

“And good lord woman, don’t scare me like that again,” he murmured sternly.

You laughed allowed unable to help yourself, which only made him grin, chuckling too, until he silenced you with a kiss. Were doctor’s appointments really something to be afraid of?

Tags:  @enniaram