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“He’s my brother, too, Kankurou! How could you keep this from me?!”

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*Deidara walks into Sasori's lab and puts a wrapped box on his desk* Deidara: For you, old man! Happy birthday, hm! Sasori: Brat, if this is another explosive, I swear to God that I'll-- Deidara: Just open it, Danna! *Sasori opens the box and is visibly startled to find a tasteful sweater inside* Sasori: Dei ... *holds the sweater up to himself* This is really nice. Looks like the right size, and definitely my color ... Sasori: *puts the sweater down and lays a hand on Deidara's forehead* Sasori, talking to himself: No fever ... *encloses his fingers around Deidara's wrist and does a count to himself* Pulse seems to be normal ... Deidara, yanking his wrist away: I'm not sick! Geez, can't I just get you a nice gift without you acting like a suspicious asshole about it?! For God's sake, I even made the ultimate sacrifice and spent an entire afternoon with RED EYES helping me pick this out! Sasori: Ah, my apologies ... *pulls Deidara into his arms and strokes his hair* This is so nice. I just, well, I know you, I know what your idea of a gift is, and I'm a little suprised that this isn't something that explodes, that's all. Deidara: Danna, I wouldn't set off something to explode in here. I know how you don't like messes! And maybe you should give me more credit, for getting more mature, hm. I wouldn't -- *a loud boom is heard in the kitchen* Konan, from down the hall: DEIDARA!! This cake you made us all the celebrate Sasori's birthday, it just blew up all over the place!! Nagato: There's frosting all over the windows and the ceiling! Hidan: You fucking asshole, I was taking a bite and it blew my head off! Now the old bastard's gonna charge me to put it back on!! Why the FUCK would you make it chocolate?? You know I can't resist that!! Sasori: Sasori: Did I happen to tell you at some point, how Hidan came in here and messed up some of my important notes on my newest puppets? Deidara: You did. Sasori: And you made that cake in Hidan's favorite flavor, on purpose, so that it would blow up on him? In a place far from the cleanliness of my lab? Deidara: Yep. Sasori: Sasori, "tearing" up and hugging Deidara: So this is what true love feels like ...

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Therapist: Alright, we've heard from Kakuzu, now, Hidan, let's hear how you feel in regards to what your husband has said. Hidan: How I "feel"? Feeling shit is for pussies and bitches and I ain't neither. But you know what? This old fucker is lucky I haven't killed him in his sleep yet. All he ever does is bitch and moan over everything I do. Ain't nothing ever good enough for him! Kakuzu: If you object to my entirely fair criticisms so much, then why did you marry me? Hidan: The sex was great and your house was nicer than mine. Therapist: So love had nothing to do with it? Hidan, gruffly: Well ... shit I guess so. Maybe. Kakuzu: I love you too, you spoiled shithead. Hidan: Asshole. Kakuzu: Idiot. Hidan, grinning: Idiot-fucker. Kakuzu: *starts to bend Hidan over the desk* You know it. Therapist: A-hem. *clears throat* That'll be all for today, gentlemen. You've made some decent progress. Just let me pencil in a session for tomorrow and -- Hidan: Tomorrow? I thought this shit was only once a week?! Therapist: Oh, not for you. I always need an emergency appointment with MY therapist after talking to the two of you. Kakuzu and Hidan:

@kakuhidaweek

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砂

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Masterpiece *chef's kiss*

Kakuzu: *reading out-loud* "Dear Old Bastard, I saw a tree today and it made me think of you. It was old and crusty and looked ready to fall over. I wanted to light it on fire but red-eyes said no, we gotta respect nature or some shit. That pussy. I hope he burns the same way I hope YOU burn in hell, and your greed with all your money will probably send you there really soon. Then you can meet Lord Jashin and see that he's not a fake after all, heathen. Love, Hidan." Kakuzu, smiling fondly as he folds the paper back up: I must say, grammar and spelling aside, the brat's love letters are getting much more endearing. Konan: I'm sorry; love letters?!

@kakuhidaweek

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*Kakuzu walks into Hidan's room* Kakuzu: Brat? Come now; you've kept me and the mission waiting long enough. Where are you? Hidan, from the bathroom: I'm in here, old fucker. Kakuzu: I swear if you're spending an hour on your hair again ... Hidan: It ain't that, bastard! I ... I can't come out! Puppet-dick fucked me up! Kakuzu: ... Sasori? What are you talking about? Hidan: He said he'd treat me to some barbecue if I let him test one of his new potions on me. You know how I love some good barbecued meat! Anyway I drank it, and ... stuff happened, and now puppet-dick is working on a cure or some shit for it! Kakuzu: Good Lord ... well, it looks like your gluttony finally caught up with you, brat. What did he do to you? Hidan: *steps out of the bathroom to reveal long hair, wide hips, and large breasts* Hidan: He turned me into a bitch! Kakuzu: Kakuzu: And ... and this is terrible because -- ? Hidan: What do you mean? I'm a WOMAN! I have tits and -- Kakuzu: *grabs Hidan around the waist and pulls him closer* Why be in a rush to have Sasori fix this? Why don't we give this a few days, see what happens? You ... you look fantastic like this ... Hidan: ... I do? Kakuzu: *gently slips Hidan's robe off of his shoulder and starts kissing it* You do. *the next day* Sasori: Ah, Hidan. My apologies again for the mishap yesterday. But I'm working quite feverently towards an antidote, so rest assured that by this time tomorrow, you should be back to -- Hidan, covered in hickeys: N-no rush, puppet-dick. This new body ain't all that bad ~ Sasori:

@kakuhidaweek

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- Color version -

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31.10 — “You’re a ray of motherfucking sunshine”

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A little Nara family comic that I wanted to draw out…This is continuous with my comic about Shinki at the konoha hospital which you can read starting here 

Temari was pretty heavily wounded in the battle with Urashiki because she protected Shikadai. She’s strong af so she can deal with pain but it’s still taxing…but I feel she would still insist on checking on Shinki

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I continue to have “Shinki has a daughter” brainrot thanks to my friend on twitter….so here’s some more Kotori…

{COMIC TEXT}

pg 1

[[Accouncer: AND THE VICTOR IS–]]

pg 2

[[Accouncer: KOTORI OF THE SAND!]]

“Not Bad, Kazekage”

pg 3

“I see the Sand continues to produce high quality ninja.

caption: Uchiha Sarada, Eight Hokage

”…“

caption: Shinki, Sixth Kazekage

pg4

"Of course, the Sand will always–”

“Oh drop it, Shinki.”

“…”

“Of course she’s good. She’s your daughter. Just admit you’re happy.”

caption: Nara Shikadai, adviser to the Hokage

sfx: glare

“Why are you mad?”

caption: They’re cousins

pg 5

“Hm”

“So he’s actually a doting father, huh…

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Mom help me I’m scared….the absolute unhinged energy of RTN!Shinki and Gaara

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More Rokudaime Kazekage Shinki discussing serious business with his father, Godaime Kazekage Gaara

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Gaara believes a good shinobi is a well-rounded one.

When Shinki starts to neglect his taijutsu training to focus on his ninjutsu as he neared his Academy graduation, Gaara thinks that a change of pace may do him some good. So he sends Shinki to train for 3 months with Shira at the northern border of Wind Country. 

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[Baby Shinki AU]

When people already think Gaara’s adopted son is actually an illegitimate child and now he has to explain how the kid has a similar ability as him

(Baby Shinki AU is an AU where Gaara adopted Shinki when he was baby before he develops Iron Sand, but is basically the same otherwise)

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The Sanrio collab is very cute but very interesting they chose murder gremlin Gaara for it

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In the aftermath of losing Kurama, Naruto finds solace in the one other person who can understand.

Even if their bonds were not the same, only a fellow jinchuuriki could explain the loneliness that comes from silence 

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Gaara: Watching our sons take the Chunin exams makes you quite nostalgic for our own exams, don’t you think

Naruto: You mean the one where you tried to kill us and almost destroyed my village

Gaara: A minor detail.