ama-tera
my narutoverse
1K posts
put on your hazmat suit and dance for me ©
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ama-tera · 3 days ago
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If you wouldn’t mind, perhaps something where Jashin comes to check on Hidan and scares everyone in the Akatsuki that he’s real? I just picture him seeing Hidan as his son who is exasperating but lovable.
*a knock on the Akatsuki lair-door* Deidara: What the fuck, hm? It's like ten at night! Who the fuck is here at this hour? Sasori: Only one way to find out, brat; answer it. Deidara, pouting: But I'm all comfy here ... can't Tobi get it? He's closer to the door than me! Tobi: Leader says Tobi isn't allowed to answer the door any more after Tobi bought one hundred boxes from that nice little girl selling cookies ... Konan, sighing: Alright, alright; I'll get it. *Konan goes to answer the door and immediately shields her eyes as an intolerably bright flood of red light streams into the hideout* Tobi, in Obito voice: What the fuck?! Deidara, burying his face in the couch: What the hell is that thing?! Konan, eyes streaming, in a shaky voice: C-can I help you, S-sir? Person at the door, in a deep, booming voice: Sorry to disturb your evening; I was passing through the area and I wished to check on my son. Itachi: Son? Who's parent are you, exactly? I've never -- *Hidan comes into the room from his bedroom and immediately falls to his knees upon seeing who's at the door* Hidan, reverantly: Jashin-sama! I'm honored that you would bestow a visit upon your lowly servant! Kisame, angling himself so that he's covering Itachi: Holy crap, you mean all that Jashin stuff was REAL?? Hidan, still on his knees: Of COURSE he's real! What, did you all think I was just a psychopath going around killing people for no reason?! Everyone: Hidan: Jashin-sama, would you care to come in? I know our home is not worthy of your presence, but I could offer you a sacrifice. The blonde here is fairly useless and -- Sasori: Be that as it may, that brat is MINE, asshole. Try and sacrifice him and you AND your Lord will feel my wrath. Deidara, both terrified and swooning: D-damn, Danna ... Jashin: No need for that, my son. Come, let us go out into the night and I can witness my prodigy's talent's first-hand. *Hidan grabs his scythe off of the wall* Hidan: Later, assholes! *goes out the door with Jashin* Konan: Alright ... I'm going to need a cup of tea and about twelve hours of sleep to get over that one. Itachi: Indeed; I still can't believe that "Jashin" is REAL. All these years and -- *Kakuzu enters the room* Kakuzu: Has anyone seen the brat? He's kept me waiting long enough. Sasori: You're going to be waiting even longer ... your brat has gone off with his God. Kakuzu: ... Jashin? HE was here?? That fucking asshole ... Deidara: Wait; you knew he was real? Kakuzu: Of course I did. What, did you think I was just dating a psychopath that goes around killing people for no reason? Everyone: Kakuzu: *puts on his cloak* I'm going after them. God or no God, this is MY time with Hidan, and nobody's going to interfere with it. *walks out the door* Kisame: Goodness; Kakuzu really believes he can take on a God? Deidara: I happen to know that Kakuzu spent money, GOOD money, on a special late-night dinner to share with Hidan, hm. And with Hidan gone, Kakuzu is losing that money. So -- Tobi, in Obito voice: RIP Jashin. The others: *nod in agreement*
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ama-tera · 14 days ago
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“He’s my brother, too, Kankurou! How could you keep this from me?!”
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ama-tera · 17 days ago
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*Deidara walks into Sasori's lab and puts a wrapped box on his desk* Deidara: For you, old man! Happy birthday, hm! Sasori: Brat, if this is another explosive, I swear to God that I'll-- Deidara: Just open it, Danna! *Sasori opens the box and is visibly startled to find a tasteful sweater inside* Sasori: Dei ... *holds the sweater up to himself* This is really nice. Looks like the right size, and definitely my color ... Sasori: *puts the sweater down and lays a hand on Deidara's forehead* Sasori, talking to himself: No fever ... *encloses his fingers around Deidara's wrist and does a count to himself* Pulse seems to be normal ... Deidara, yanking his wrist away: I'm not sick! Geez, can't I just get you a nice gift without you acting like a suspicious asshole about it?! For God's sake, I even made the ultimate sacrifice and spent an entire afternoon with RED EYES helping me pick this out! Sasori: Ah, my apologies ... *pulls Deidara into his arms and strokes his hair* This is so nice. I just, well, I know you, I know what your idea of a gift is, and I'm a little suprised that this isn't something that explodes, that's all. Deidara: Danna, I wouldn't set off something to explode in here. I know how you don't like messes! And maybe you should give me more credit, for getting more mature, hm. I wouldn't -- *a loud boom is heard in the kitchen* Konan, from down the hall: DEIDARA!! This cake you made us all the celebrate Sasori's birthday, it just blew up all over the place!! Nagato: There's frosting all over the windows and the ceiling! Hidan: You fucking asshole, I was taking a bite and it blew my head off! Now the old bastard's gonna charge me to put it back on!! Why the FUCK would you make it chocolate?? You know I can't resist that!! Sasori: Sasori: Did I happen to tell you at some point, how Hidan came in here and messed up some of my important notes on my newest puppets? Deidara: You did. Sasori: And you made that cake in Hidan's favorite flavor, on purpose, so that it would blow up on him? In a place far from the cleanliness of my lab? Deidara: Yep. Sasori: Sasori, "tearing" up and hugging Deidara: So this is what true love feels like ...
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ama-tera · 22 days ago
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Therapist: Alright, we've heard from Kakuzu, now, Hidan, let's hear how you feel in regards to what your husband has said. Hidan: How I "feel"? Feeling shit is for pussies and bitches and I ain't neither. But you know what? This old fucker is lucky I haven't killed him in his sleep yet. All he ever does is bitch and moan over everything I do. Ain't nothing ever good enough for him! Kakuzu: If you object to my entirely fair criticisms so much, then why did you marry me? Hidan: The sex was great and your house was nicer than mine. Therapist: So love had nothing to do with it? Hidan, gruffly: Well ... shit I guess so. Maybe. Kakuzu: I love you too, you spoiled shithead. Hidan: Asshole. Kakuzu: Idiot. Hidan, grinning: Idiot-fucker. Kakuzu: *starts to bend Hidan over the desk* You know it. Therapist: A-hem. *clears throat* That'll be all for today, gentlemen. You've made some decent progress. Just let me pencil in a session for tomorrow and -- Hidan: Tomorrow? I thought this shit was only once a week?! Therapist: Oh, not for you. I always need an emergency appointment with MY therapist after talking to the two of you. Kakuzu and Hidan:
@kakuhidaweek
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ama-tera · 22 days ago
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ama-tera · 23 days ago
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Masterpiece *chef's kiss*
Kakuzu: *reading out-loud* "Dear Old Bastard, I saw a tree today and it made me think of you. It was old and crusty and looked ready to fall over. I wanted to light it on fire but red-eyes said no, we gotta respect nature or some shit. That pussy. I hope he burns the same way I hope YOU burn in hell, and your greed with all your money will probably send you there really soon. Then you can meet Lord Jashin and see that he's not a fake after all, heathen. Love, Hidan." Kakuzu, smiling fondly as he folds the paper back up: I must say, grammar and spelling aside, the brat's love letters are getting much more endearing. Konan: I'm sorry; love letters?!
@kakuhidaweek
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ama-tera · 24 days ago
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*Kakuzu walks into Hidan's room* Kakuzu: Brat? Come now; you've kept me and the mission waiting long enough. Where are you? Hidan, from the bathroom: I'm in here, old fucker. Kakuzu: I swear if you're spending an hour on your hair again ... Hidan: It ain't that, bastard! I ... I can't come out! Puppet-dick fucked me up! Kakuzu: ... Sasori? What are you talking about? Hidan: He said he'd treat me to some barbecue if I let him test one of his new potions on me. You know how I love some good barbecued meat! Anyway I drank it, and ... stuff happened, and now puppet-dick is working on a cure or some shit for it! Kakuzu: Good Lord ... well, it looks like your gluttony finally caught up with you, brat. What did he do to you? Hidan: *steps out of the bathroom to reveal long hair, wide hips, and large breasts* Hidan: He turned me into a bitch! Kakuzu: Kakuzu: And ... and this is terrible because -- ? Hidan: What do you mean? I'm a WOMAN! I have tits and -- Kakuzu: *grabs Hidan around the waist and pulls him closer* Why be in a rush to have Sasori fix this? Why don't we give this a few days, see what happens? You ... you look fantastic like this ... Hidan: ... I do? Kakuzu: *gently slips Hidan's robe off of his shoulder and starts kissing it* You do. *the next day* Sasori: Ah, Hidan. My apologies again for the mishap yesterday. But I'm working quite feverently towards an antidote, so rest assured that by this time tomorrow, you should be back to -- Hidan, covered in hickeys: N-no rush, puppet-dick. This new body ain't all that bad ~ Sasori:
@kakuhidaweek
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ama-tera · 24 days ago
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- Color version -
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ama-tera · 25 days ago
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31.10 — “You’re a ray of motherfucking sunshine”
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ama-tera · 25 days ago
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A little Nara family comic that I wanted to draw out…This is continuous with my comic about Shinki at the konoha hospital which you can read starting here 
Temari was pretty heavily wounded in the battle with Urashiki because she protected Shikadai. She’s strong af so she can deal with pain but it’s still taxing…but I feel she would still insist on checking on Shinki
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ama-tera · 25 days ago
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I continue to have “Shinki has a daughter” brainrot thanks to my friend on twitter….so here’s some more Kotori…
{COMIC TEXT}
pg 1
[[Accouncer: AND THE VICTOR IS–]]
pg 2
[[Accouncer: KOTORI OF THE SAND!]]
“Not Bad, Kazekage”
pg 3
“I see the Sand continues to produce high quality ninja.
caption: Uchiha Sarada, Eight Hokage
”…“
caption: Shinki, Sixth Kazekage
pg4
"Of course, the Sand will always–”
“Oh drop it, Shinki.”
“…”
“Of course she’s good. She’s your daughter. Just admit you’re happy.”
caption: Nara Shikadai, adviser to the Hokage
sfx: glare
“Why are you mad?”
caption: They’re cousins
pg 5
“Hm”
“So he’s actually a doting father, huh…
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ama-tera · 25 days ago
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Mom help me I’m scared….the absolute unhinged energy of RTN!Shinki and Gaara
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ama-tera · 25 days ago
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More Rokudaime Kazekage Shinki discussing serious business with his father, Godaime Kazekage Gaara
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ama-tera · 25 days ago
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Gaara believes a good shinobi is a well-rounded one.
When Shinki starts to neglect his taijutsu training to focus on his ninjutsu as he neared his Academy graduation, Gaara thinks that a change of pace may do him some good. So he sends Shinki to train for 3 months with Shira at the northern border of Wind Country. 
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ama-tera · 25 days ago
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[Baby Shinki AU]
When people already think Gaara’s adopted son is actually an illegitimate child and now he has to explain how the kid has a similar ability as him
(Baby Shinki AU is an AU where Gaara adopted Shinki when he was baby before he develops Iron Sand, but is basically the same otherwise)
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ama-tera · 25 days ago
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The Sanrio collab is very cute but very interesting they chose murder gremlin Gaara for it
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ama-tera · 25 days ago
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In the aftermath of losing Kurama, Naruto finds solace in the one other person who can understand.
Even if their bonds were not the same, only a fellow jinchuuriki could explain the loneliness that comes from silence 
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