#angie is a nice jewish girl

[thetourguidebarbie]

You are so not invited to my bat mitzvah is niche and delightful and if you are not jewish you won’t get it and that’s the best part

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this Week #136 (Year 3/Week 32):

The outside man, my second thriller by Frenchman Jacques Deray (after the so much better ‘La Piscine’). So much wasted potential in this early 1970's mobster out of water tale, which was co-written by Jean Claude Carrière. Jean-Louis Trintignant is a hit-man sent to Beverly Hills to assassinate a big gangster, but Roy Scheider is another killer on his tail, so they chase each other all over, with Ann-Margaret, Angie Dickinson, 'Moe Green' and 'Russ Yelburton' mixing it up.

It serves up a very touristy picture of 1972 Los Angeles (which is nice), and it also has some plot twists which clearly inspired later films. Most notably, some very distinct scenes from 'Three days of the condor' (The kidnapping of a random female with her car, the tense sharing of an elevator between the chaser and his pray, too tired to fall asleep...). Also the mob funeral procession from 'Godfather'. So this forgotten film was hugely influential at the time. 3/10.

🍿

2 with Denholm Elliott:

🍿 In 2014, Steven Soderbergh re-edited 'Raiders of the lost ark' in order to show how brilliant Spielberg's 'Staging' was; how the shots are built and laid out, what the rules of movement are, what the cutting patterns are. The result was Raiders, a black-and-white version of the original, stripped of its colors, music and dialogue, and with a new, electronic score by Trent Reznor.

Found it on a video essay by CinemaStix, When the director is really good at their job.

Also there: When the director prioritizes character over plot, about Soderbergh's Ocean 11.

🍿 I should have watched William Friedkin’s ‘sorcerer’ (Photo Above) for the first time, but instead I picked his subpar 1968 The night they raided Minsky’s, a lame shtick about an Amish girl who discovers burlesque in 1925 New York. Even dancing-singing Jason Robards can’t saves it. 1/10.

RIP, William Friedkin!

🍿

Long story short, my second drama by talented May el-Toukhy, a Danish-Egyptian female director (made before her complex erotic thriller 'Queen of heart'). A group of friends in their 30's and 40's going through love, heartbreaks and life changes, told in 8-parts which are broken into celebrations: birthdays, weddings, christening and mid-summer parties.

🍿

6 Spanish-speaking movies:

🍿 Marshland ("La isla Minima") swept the 2014 Spanish Goya awards, and won in 10 categories. It's a slow-burn procedural Noir about two policemen from Madrid who are send to the backward South to investigate the disappearance of two girls. Before 'True detective', it created a different, atmospheric world. 8/10.

🍿 Death of a cyclist, a classic Spanish Noir from 1955 by J.A. Bardem (Javier's uncle), rich and dramatic. A high society married woman cheating on her husband kills a random man on a deserted road while driving with her lover. A different Hitchcokian murder mystery, made more interesting by Bardem's leftist politics vis-a-vis the Franco censorship of his time. 7/10.

🍿 The Chambermaid, another exploration of South American domestic workers, the silent and invisible service multitudes, that movies don't usually pay attention to. A shy and introverted cleaning lady at an upscale Mexico City hotel has a hard time trying to find a voice, however small.

This was a debut feature by a young filmmaker Lila Avilés. I can't wait for her new, acclaimed Tótem. The trailer. 7/10.

🍿 Wild tales is the most-seen Argentine film of all time, and deservedly so. A hilarious, unexpected anthology, comprising of 6 unrelated stories of 'People under stress': 2 passengers on a plane discover that they both know a person named Gabriel Pasternak, a waitress at a night restaurant serves a loan shark who had destroyed her life, a wild road rage incident that escalates, the car of a demolition expert is being towed away, a rich teenager had a hit and run, and the funnest, a fancy Jewish wedding which goes off the rails.

Absurdist black humor, the most entertaining movie of the week! 9/10.

🍿 The Criminal Life of Archibaldo de la Cruz, my 14th film by Buñuel, 'The Scourge of the Bourgeoisie'. On its surface, it's a normal 1950's Mexican drama about a serial killer, but it's not: it's kinky, off kilter, unpredictable, and always with an extra artificial leg or two that falls off.

🍿 Kiki was made by Paco León ("The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent"). It's another funny anthology film, a remake of an Australian film 'The little death' which I'll watch next week. It's an hilarious kinky comedy with 5 or 6 separate sets of characters exploring their deep desires and (less common) fetishes: One woman is turned on by tears, another by the touch of silk, one by being physically attacked, one sells her used underwear, three are getting into a polyamory. It's explicit, light and funny. Not for prudes. 8/10.

🍿

My first 2 by Georges Franju:

🍿 Franju was the co-funder of the Cinémathèque Française in 1936 (together with Henri Langlois). His scary Eyes without a face was the first French horror movie. A monstrous, mad surgeon who tortures dogs and cut off women's faces, in order to find a suitable graft for his disfigured daughter. Morbid poetry.

🍿 Blood of the beasts (Le Sang des Bêtes) was Franju's first film, a stark, non-sentimental documentary about a slaughterhouse. Contrasting scenes from the Parisian suburbs with the most horrifying matter-of-fact killings of horses, cows and sheep, is a study in surrealism. 8/10.

🍿

The Runaways, a run of the mill pop music biography, the story of Joan Jett and her first all-girls rock'n'roll band. These bios are all alike, and even Kristen Stewart and Michael Shannon can't redeem it. (It's my 3rd woman-directed film this week). 3/10.

🍿

Ali Wong X 3, again:

🍿 OK, so I'm crazy about Ali Wong's dirty humor, so sue me. Still, I will watch her Hard Knock Wife comedy special again and again. Best female comedian!

🍿 The Hero, a tender 'End of life' story, with golden-voiced Sam Elliott as an aging western star who discovers he has incurable cancer. He starts a sweet romance with the wonderful actress Laura Prepon, and has to reconnect with his estranged daughter. Great cinema, that could have been perfect if only there was just another small layer to draw from. 8/10.

Anyway, I am going to look for indie director Brett Haley's other films. Ali Wong played herself in a single stand-up comedy scene.

🍿 “… I have orgasms. He has wargasms…”

Savages is a top-tier Oliver Stone action-thriller about some hip pot growers in Laguna Beach who has to fight a brutal Mexican cartel operators. Loud and exciting, similar to Tarantino's 'True Romance' but faster, and with Blake Lively in a loving threesome with 2 dudes. Ali Wong appeared only in one scene as an underground hacker. 7/10.

🍿

No hard feelings, a new sex comedy ("Do you mind if I touch your wiener... dog?"), where Jennifer Lawrence is hired to deflower a 'Superbad'-era Michael Cera-type, because she's broke. Some cliched sitcoms jokes about the 1%-ers in Montauk, NY vs. ordinary people. And for that she came out of retirement? 3/10.

🍿

"Editing is all about the eyes". Another old 'Every frame a picture' essay, How Does an Editor Think and Feel?

🍿

Reflections on the 70th Anniversary of the Danish Rescue of the Jews: Talk at the American-Scandinavian Foundation about why the Danish Jews were saved.

🍿  

(My complete movie list is here)

[thelastspeecher]

For the prompt, how about the werevamp au where Stan and Angie celebrate Chistmas together since Angie can't exactly go home to her family to celebrate, but also it's also Stan's first actual Christmas

I wanted to include something at the end about Angie asking Stan when Jewish holidays are so they can celebrate them together, too, but I liked it ending like this.  So here, have Stangie celebrating Christmas in a cheap motel room with a sad Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

              Stan wokeup freezing.  Without opening his eyes hereached out for Angie.  His hands brushedagainst blankets, but not Angie’s warm body. He opened his eyes.  He was alonein the bed.

              “Angie?”he asked.

              “I’m overhere, darlin’,” a soft voice said.  Stansat up with a groan.  He lookedover.  Angie was crouched on the sill ofthe only window in the cheap motel room, staring outside with a distantexpression.

              “What’swrong?”

              “Nothin’.  It’s just…” Angie sighed.  “I can’t believe it’sChristmas Eve.”

              “Oh,yeah.  It is.”  Stan got up from the bed and walked over tohis girlfriend.  “Merry Christmas,” hesaid, putting a hand on her shoulder. Angie sighed again.  “Babe,somethin’s wrong.  What is it?”

              “I can’tremember any of my fam’ly’s holiday traditions,” Angie said after a moment.  “I- I know we had ‘em.  I have this- this vague memory of warmfeelin’s and comfort.  A full stomach.  But I can’t remember anyone involved, or whatexactly we were doin’, and-”  Sheswallowed.  “What sort of Christmastraditions does yer fam’ly have?”

              “Uh,none,” Stan said.  Angie stared athim.  “I’m Jewish.”

              “…Oh.”  Angie’s mouth quirked in a small grin.  “Didn’t know there were Jewish vampires.”

              “Didn’tknow there were Christian werewolves.”

              “Touche.”  Angie looked out the window again.  She wrapped her arms around herself.  “I just- I want to celebrate with my fam’ly.”

              “Youmight not be able to celebrate with them, but you’ve got me,” Stan said.  Angie managed a small, weak smile.  “Whattaya wanna do?”

              “Gocaroling.”

              “Uhh…”

              “I’mkidding,” Angie said, nudging him.  “But jokin’aside, it might be nice to get a tree.”

              “It’sChristmas Eve.”

              “Mm-hmm.”

              “You dorealize that if we manage to find a tree, it’s gonna be one of those shittyCharlie Brown ones, right?”

              “It’sstill a tree.”

              “Yeah.  Okay. Lemme get dressed.”  Stan walkedover to the chair he had tossed his clothes onto the day before.  He picked up his shirt and sniffed itidly.  “Did your family go to church onChristmas Eve?  My high school girlfriend’sfamily did.”

              “I haveamnesia, I don’t-”  Angie paused.  “No, wait. I do remember.  Yes. We did.”

              “So youguys were like, Christian Christians.”  Deciding the shirt didn’t smell too bad, Stanslipped it on.  “I shoulda figured.”

              “How couldya have figured it out?  I didn’t realizeI grew up goin’ to church until ya just asked me.”

              “A fewthings.”  Stan tugged on a pair of pants.  “You never say ‘God’, you say ‘Lord’ or ‘goodness’.  You corrected a Bible quote we saw the otherday.  And whenever we’re around jewelry,you go right for the crucifix necklaces.”

              “Huh.  Yer right, there were a lot of ways to figureit out,” Angie said softly.  Stan turnedaround.  “Why are ya wearin’ thoseclothes again?” Angie asked.

              “They don’tsmell.”

              “Not toyou,” Angie muttered.  She got down fromthe windowsill.  “A few things are comin’back to me.”

              “Yeah?”

              “Yeah.”  Angie furrowed her brow.  “When we went to the Christmas Eve service,my older brother would always fall asleep. And my- my older sister…  We hadto dress up, so she’d braid my hair fer me.”

              “You havea brother and sister?”

              “…Iguess.”

              “Do youremember their names?” Stan asked.  Angieshook her head.  “You’ll remembereventually.”  Stan shrugged on hisjacket.  “What’s the flavor ofChristianity your family practices?  Newand Improved or Classic?”  Angie staredat him, bemused.

              “Wh-which branch of Christianity is which?”

              “Catholicsare Classic, and the other one is New and Improved.”

              “Hon, that’snot-”  Angie shook her head.  “Okay, well, Classic.”

              “You’reCatholic?”

              “Yep.”  Angie frowned, thinking.  “I remember vaguely learnin’ prayers thatweren’t in English.”

              “Latin?”

              “No…”  Angie shook her head again.  “I could almost hear one of ‘em, but it’sgone.”  She looked up.  “Let’s go get us a tree.”

----- 

              Stan dugthrough the grocery bag.  Angie hadinsisted that they not steal on Christmas Eve, but he wanted to make sure thatshe didn’t see the one item he had surreptitiously pocketed at the store.

              “Youreally should shower,” Angie said.  Shewas decorating the tree they had found at the lot.  It looked exactly as Stan had warned:scraggly, tiny, and losing needles with every jostle.  Angie carefully draped a cheap garland overthe tree’s branches.

              “I showeredyesterday.”

              “Youshowered three days ago.”  Angie lookedat Stan.  “I love ya to bits, but I havea wolf’s nose, Stanley Pines.  If ya goone more day without takin’ a shower, I will hose ya down myself.”

              “Don’t offersomething if you don’t plan on following through.”

              “Itwouldn’t be sexy,” Angie warned.  Stansnorted.

              “That’swhat you think.”

              “No, Imean it.  Think less ‘we are bothunclothed and there are soap bubbles everywhere’ and more ‘I am fully clothed,holding you down while I hold the shower directly over yer head like I’m givin’a dog a bath’.”

              “…Could stillbe sexy.”

              “Lord,yer insufferable.”

              “You knowit, babe.”  Stan found the small box hewas looking for, slipped it into his back pocket, and kissed the top of Angie’shead.  She swatted him playfully.  “When do we put up our socks for free candy?”

              “Afteryou shower.”

              “Fine,fine.”  Stan strode into the bathroom,whistling.  He paused before closing thedoor.  “Hang on.”

              “Stan, Imean it, I can’t deal with yer stink much lon-”

              “Did youjust say you loved me?” Stan asked. Angie stilled.  “If you did, I’d-”

              “Justshower,” Angie said in a small voice.  “Please.”

----- 

        ��     Tenminutes later, Stan opened the bathroom door to let the steam out while hefinished toweling off.  He paused.  Someone was singing.

              “O, holynight, the stars are brightly shining…” Stan stuck his head out.  Angiewas sitting in front of the tiny tree, her eyes closed, singing.  A small smile began to spread across Stan’sface.

              I don’t get to hear her sing very often.  He cleared his throat.  Angie looked over, startled.

              “That wasnice.”

              “…Thanks,”Angie mumbled, her face pink.  She duckedher head.  “And thank you fer showerin’.”

              “Eh, Iwoulda had to shower soon anyways, if I wanted to maintain my impeccablehairstyle,” Stan said, gesturing to his mullet. Angie snorted.  “You should singmore.”

              “I don’tknow.  I feel so strange singin’ in frontof people,” Angie said quietly.  Stanwalked over, only wearing a towel wrapped around his waist.  He sat on the floor next to her.

              “I’m ahomeless vampire.  Pretty sure I don’tcount as people.”

              “Nah, youdo.”  Angie leaned against him.  “By the way, earlier, when I said I loved you…”

              “Yeah?”

              “I meantit.”  Like her, Angie’s voice was soft,but full of warmth.  “And it ain’t someStockholm Syndrome thing, neither.  You-yer a good man, and you challenge me and take care of me and-”  Angie kissed Stan on the cheek.  “I can’t think of anything else to describemy feelings fer you.”

              “Not justreally good friends?”

              “No,Stan.  I love you.”  Angie’s eyes caught his determinedly.  “I mean it.” Stan stared back at her silently, at a loss for words.  Finally, he cleared his throat.

              “Okay,uh, yeah, uh, I guess, uh-”  He clearedhis throat again.  “I’ve got somethingfor- uh-”  He rushed back to thebathroom.

              Dumbass, why’d you put it in your pantspocket if you were gonna take your pants off right away?  Stan dug hurriedly through his pile of clothes.  Ha!  He grabbed the small box from earlier andreturned to where Angie was sitting. Angie cocked her head at him curiously.

              “What’sgoin’ on?”

              “Here.”  Stan handed her the box.  Angie shot another confused glance in hisdirection before turning her attention to the box.  She slowly opened it.

              “Oh.”

              That’s it?  An “oh”?

              “You hateit,” Stan said, dejected.

              “No,”Angie said.  She removed the necklacefrom the box.  “No, Stan, I love it.”  She let the chain of the necklace slipthrough her fingers to admire the crescent-shaped charm.  “A lil moon.”

              “‘Causeyou’re a werewolf.”  Stan rubbed the backof his neck.  “Girls like sparkly things,and you always get excited when we go to a store with jewelry, and you don’thave any jewelry, so I figured-”

              “This iswonderful,” Angie said softly.

              “It’s nota cross, though.  You always look at thecrosses.”  Stan scratched his cheek.  “I’m allergic to religious shit, so that’swhy I didn’t get the cross, but it’s still not-”

              “Shut yeryap and help me put this on, would ya?” Angie interrupted.  Stan grinned. Angie handed him the necklace and turned around.  Stan carefully clasped the chain.  Angie turned around again.  The necklace sparkled on her sweater.  “Does it suit me?”

              “Babe,everything suits you,” Stan said earnestly. Angie laughed.

              “Stan,this was a wonderful Christmas present. Thank you.”  Her eyestwinkled.  “I actually got you somethin’,too.”

              “Really?”

              “Mm-hmm.”  Angie nodded at the tree.  A box was resting underneath it.  “Go ahead. Open it.”  Stan eagerly ripped thebox open.  His eyes widened.  “I saw you lookin’ at those watches.”

              “Oh,hell, yes,” Stan breathed.  He slid thewatch onto his wrist.  “Now my wristlooks way classier than the rest of me. It’s perfect.”  Angiechuckled.  “How did you afford this?”

              “…I didn’t.”

              “Ithought you said you didn’t wanna steal on Jesus’ birthday.”

              “Hisbirthday’s tomorrow.  Not today.”

              “Myhabits are rubbing off on you.”

              “Yep.”

              “Probablynot a good thing.”

              “Fer ahomeless vampire and werewolf, I think it’s perfectly fine.”  Angie leaned in and kissed Stan on thelips.  “Merry Christmas.”

              “MerryChristmas.”

[thestuckylibrary-bigbang]

AU

Part Two

This post contains works from sbb2017 that are alternate universe rather than canon compliant. It has the following categories:

Historical AU

Kid Fic

Magical Realism

Misc. No Powers AU

Modern Veteran AU

Neighbours AU

Sci-Fi

Take a look at the amazing works contributors have made!

Also check out Canon ‘Verse | AU Part One | AU Part Three | Masterpost

Historical AU

A Kiss Through A Veil by princeofprinces (tumblr)

Rating: E

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death

Words: 27K

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers

Tags: Alternate Universe - Renaissance, Alternate Universe - Hunchback of Notre Dame, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Romani Bucky, Trans Male Character, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Torture, Abusive Parents, Racism

Summary: “Don’t be afraid.” The performer knelt next to the pillory and removed his red shawl from his shoulders, using it to wipe away the tomato and egg mixture that had dried on Estienne’s cheek. “I’m sorry. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

Art by rancorousrocker

Art by juliabizarre

Anatomy of a Scandal by Rena (AO3 | Tumblr)

Artists: @theprinceofprinces    Art Post

          @king-of-moose​            Art Post

Rating: E

No Archive Warnings Apply  

Pairings: Steve Rogers/James “Bucky” Barnes

Characters: Steve Rogers, James “Bucky” Barnes, Sam Wilson, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, Peggy Carter, Angie Martinelli, Arnim Zola

Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Alternate Universe - Regency, Mutual Pining, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers

Summary: When Steve Rogers returns to Brooklyn, the marriage arranged for him having proven to be a sham, he is desperate; desperate to regain his footing in Society, desperate to secure a wealthy spouse capable of paying the costly treatments that keep his mother alive and settling his family’s debts. But how is he to do that when people view him as nothing more than damaged goods, someone to be sneered at, ridiculed, looked down upon, or pitied at best?

An opportunity presents itself when Lord Barnes, the renowned carefree Casanova of Brooklyn, forgets himself during one night of drunken stupor, sending Steve a letter that flouts all laws of common decency. An agreement is soon made: in return for Steve’s discretion, Lord Barnes will pretend to court him, taking him to the most fancy events of the season where Steve can be introduced to potential suitors. It all works out perfectly, until Steve comes to understand that Lord Barnes is not as pompous and self-absorbed as he believed….

“I won’t let go (at any price)” by @fuckyfarnes​

Rating: M

Words:32k

Archive Warnings: None Apply

Tags:Alternate Universe - 1980s, Drag Queens ball culture HIV/AIDS, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Non-Graphic Violence, Gay Bashing, Gay Rights, Original Character Death(s, )Major Original Character(s), Eventual Romance, Slow Burn, Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Self-Acceptance, Implied Sexual Content, Self-Discovery, references to the get down

Summary:

It's the summer of 1981 in New York and Bucky is trying, really trying. He's working hard as a line cook to support himself and struggling to stay in contact with his sister in L.A., all while fighting to suppress his sexuality. He meets Stevie that summer and falls into the world he's been hiding from his entire life; enter ball culture, new wave music, and Aqua Net. Through music, self expression, and Stevie, Bucky finds the freedom that comes with self acceptance. In the midst of it all, the AIDS epidemic breaks out and with it comes a surge in the persecution of the LGBT community. Nothing is easy, and the cost of being yourself is high.

Art by @stuckypocketguide​

swallows still sing by icoulddothisallday

Rating: M

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence  

Words: 54k

Relationships: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Tags: Holocaust, Period Typical Attitudes, Religious Themes, Jewish Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Medical Experimentation, Loss of Limb, Family Separation, Death of a Family Member, PTSD

Summary:

They move through the doorway and the sun hits Bucky’s face. His eyes flinch closed involuntarily, but the warmth on his face is more than enough. There’s a breeze too, the freshest air Bucky has breathed in months. It’s chaos outside, a clamor of voices in languages both familiar and foreign. Bucky is glad to ignore it, glad to trust that the Captain will take him to safety. He dares to open his eyes. Everything is fuzzy around the edges, like a waking dream.

On April 29th, 1945, US forces liberate the concentration camp Dachau. But Captain Steve Rogers and his Howling Commandos have a more specific mission - the rescue and rehabilitation of prisoners experimented on by Arnim Zola, among them, a man named Bucky.

In light of recent events in Charlottesville and the political climate of the US right now, I want to quote Elie Weisel, a Holocaust survivor who told us, “I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”

Art abd banner by @stuckypocketguide  and  Art by ewburnthatshit

The North Star  by littleblackfox  @thelittleblackfox

Rating: E Warning: Graphic Depiction of Violence Words: 60k Relationships: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanov & Clint Barton Tags:  Alternate Universe - Pirate, Romani Bucky, Swashbuckling, Historical AU, Because I didn’t suffer enough last time, Adventure on the High Seas, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Smut, Angst, Slow Burn, I will quite literally go down with this ship, Brief mentions of torture, Swordfighting, Brock Rumlow gets stabbed, It’s Pirates okay there’s going to be blood and guts, But also whales and manta rays, and beach sex

Summary:

“I heard rumour that William Fly is swinging from a gibbet in Boston harbour. They say the age of piracy is ending,” Steve utters softly, rubbing the tip of his thumb across his lower lip. Sam glances at him. “You got plans to retire, Cap? Find a nice little beach in the Indies and a good supply of rum? Couple of pretty girls in grass skirts to dance for you.” “Sam,” Steve mumbles, covering his face with his hand. “I’m sorry, a couple of pretty boys?” Sam grins wickedly. “Sam!” Steve looks scandalised, which gets him nothing but laughter from his Quartermaster. “You’re fired. Go throw yourself overboard this instant.”

Art by @brooklyn-bisexual

Art by @rohkeutta

Art by @frau-argh

Art by @frau-argh

The Scottish Boy by Bette Noire

Rating: E

Warnings: Graphic Violence

Words: 120K

Relationships: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Tags: Medieval AU, Alternate Universe – No Powers, knights, angst, enemies to lovers, slow build, Hundred Years War, thriller, bamf!steve, bamf!bucky

Summary: The year is 1333. The English are at war with Scotland. 19-year-old West Country knight Sir Steven excels at jousting, but yearns to prove himself in real action. So he jumps when his sponsor, Baron Alexander Pierce, invites him on a secret mission with a dozen elite knights. They ride north to a crumbling Scottish keep, capturing the feral, half-starved boy within and putting the other inhabitants to the sword. And nobody knows, or nobody is saying, why the flower of English knighthood snuck over the border to capture a savage, dirty teenage boy. Pierce gives the boy to Steve as his squire, with only two rules: don’t let the boy escape, and convert him to the English cause.

At first, it’s hopeless. The Scottish boy is surly, violent, hoards sharp objects, and eats anything that isn’t nailed down. Then Steve begins to notice things: that, as well as Gaelic, the boy speaks flawless French, far better than Steve’s own. That he can read it – Latin, too. That he isn’t small so much as desperately under-fed. That when Steve finally convinces the boy – James Buchanan, Bucky – to cut his filthy, matted curtain of hair, the face revealed is the most beautiful thing Steve has ever seen.

Art by maichan | Art by tsumi | Playlist by Penny

Kid Fic

Blurry by MonalisaMontauk Tumblr

Rating: M

Archive Warnings: None

Words: 27k

Relationships: Steve Rogers/James “Bucky” Barnes

Tags: Implied reference Child abuse, Implied reference Domestic Violence, Alternate Universe-Modern Setting, Use of Homophobic slur, Police Officer Steve, Minor Angst, Fluff, Minor Smut, Domestic Fluff, first dates

Summary: Bucky, a single father who only gets to see his son on weekends, finds out his ex’s new boyfriend is abusing him. Fueled with rage Bucky sets out on a mission to track him down. Finding him at a sleazy bar leads to a showdown with terrible consequences for Bucky. The police are called and it just so happens that the cop arresting him is a former one night stand. Awkward doesn’t even begin to describe the situation.

Art by Kay Maeryn @kaym-art

Pas de Deux by rhysiana

Rating: T

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 20,767

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes, (past Steve/Peggy, background Clint/Natasha)

Tags: single dad!Steve, artist!Steve, ballet!Bucky, ballet!Natasha, Badly Healed Shoulder Injury, The Realization That Life in One’s 30s Doesn’t Always Look Like One Expected in One’s 20s

Summary: Steve was pretty sure he fell in love with Peggy Carter the first time she called him a “jumped-up colonial” after a surprisingly heated debate on the first day of their shared history seminar during his semester abroad. He never really stopped. Which was really kind of the main problem he was having now, as he stood there next to her grave under gray skies full of ominous clouds that nonetheless refused to actually rain, as if they, too, knew this was fake. *** In which Steve is a newly single father indulging his daughter’s new obsession with ballet, Bucky and Nat are former stars of the Bolshoi now teaching at a DC ballet school, and no one is really quite as normal as they appear.

Art by @barnessergeant (Please go admire her cute art for this story!)

Banner by @dizzy-redhead, who volunteered to make it out of sheer awesomeness!

Seahorses by Tinzelda (AO3) and Poppyfields13fic (AO3)

Rating: E

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 31k

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes

Tags: Post-Captain America Civil War - Freeform, BuckyCap - Freeform, Kidfic, Dad Steve, Fluff, Domestic

Summary: Now that Bucky’s taken over the role of Captain America, Steve feels like it’s finally the time to start a family. Bucky doesn’t know what to feel when Steve breaks the news he’s going to adopt a baby. He wants Steve to be happy, but he’s worried it will affect their friendship. Once Steve becomes a dad though, Bucky can’t help falling in love with the baby. And maybe Steve will finally see Bucky in a different light.

Art by CapCarterandSarge (AO3)

Magical Realism

Deep as the Ocean by themirrordarkly (starmaki)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Words: 20k

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers Tags: AU Modern and AU Magical Realism, Fisherman Steve and Merman Bucky, Magic and Fairytale elements, Sexual Content, Soulbond, Touch-Starved, Memory loss, Serious Injury and Trauma, Angst, Depression  

Summary:

The newly established charter boat business is booming for ex-military man, Steve Rogers. Being the captain of the charter boat ‘End Of The Line’ is a dream come true–but he doesn’t have anyone to share in his success and good fortune. Everything changes when he finds a sexy, mysterious stranger washed up on the beach. The chemistry is undeniable, like two old souls connecting. But Bucky Barnes isn’t the man he claims to be, having only three months to achieve his goal or suffer the terrible consequences. Can he succeed and claim what he lost? Steve and Bucky’s worlds will collide, changing both their lives forever. A modern retelling of a fairytale, with a twist!

Story by @starmaki (themirrordarkly)

Art by @elendrien

Fourth Floor by @dirtybinary, art by @cbolle & @mithborien

Rating: T

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 41,805

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes, minor Sharon Carter/Natasha Romanoff

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Shrinkyclinks, Magical Realism, Tentacle Monsters

Summary:

Steve has his life in order, okay. He goes to wizard college, even if he can’t technically do magic. He has his own apartment, even though it’s small and dinky and kind of gross, and forgets to exist sometimes, and might also be alive? Plus, he has a crush on the hot cyborg in unit 404 who cooks fiendishly good breakfast foods, and may or may not have some kind of weird connection to the sentient building they live in. He’s not sure.

He’s dealing, all right, his life is in tip-top condition, or it was until an eldritch monstrosity called the Hydra started posing as a real estate company to try and buy over his new home.

He’s really pissed about that.

(The one where Steve is an angry millennial wizard, Sam is a Disney prince, Natasha is a shapeshifter, and Bucky is a spoiler.)

Illustrations

[x] by @cbolle​ [x] and above banner by @mithborien

Freshwater Memories by @resinonao3 (Ao3)

A collaboration for the Stucky Big Bang 2017!

Header Art by @koreanrage (Tumblr) Papercraft Art by @milollita (Tumblr)

Artwork rating: G Fic rating: Explicit Word count: 50,903 Relationship: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes

Archive Warnings: None

Summary:

Steve hasn’t been back to his family’s cottage for years, ever since the car accident took both his parents and his childhood memories. His therapist seems to think it’s a good idea for him to get out of the city for a while, so Steve decides it’s time to fix it up. He remembers a lot of things when he’s finally arrives, smells the fresh grass, hears the whisper of the trees, and the familiar warmth of a home away from home. The river outside is familiar too, only Steve can’t quite remember the imaginary friend he invented from it, when he needed one the most.

The river remembers him though, and will be damned if it watches his old friend sulk in loneliness instead of play with him, like he used to.

Check out @resinonao3‘s amazing fic on AO3!

From Dirty Paws and Creatures of Snow by goldenraeofsun

Rating: Teen and up

Words: 106k

Archive Warnings: Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings

Tags: Modern AU, Magic AU, Witch Steve Rogers, Familiar Bucky Barnes, Temporary Character Death

Summary

Bullies had mocked Steve's lack of magic for years, emboldened as Steve cast spell after spell that fizzled and died.

Steve didn't believe a word out of Bucky's mouth when he said that Steve was the most powerful witch he'd ever seen, but at least Bucky had until they reached Bonding age to convince him of the truth.

Amazing art by lunalittlelunatic is available here!

I See Fire by MooseKing, samwise_baggins, Steve-Bucky-Stucky (Chemical30)

Rating: E

Words:72k

Archive Warnings: Rape/Noncon

Tags: Hydra Agents, Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Mpreg, Rape/Non-con Elements, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Graphic Sex, Minor Character Death, Illegal Activities

Summary:

Steve, an elf, has always wanted to see the fabled dragons, rumored to have been hunted into extinction. He dares enter their domain where he meets Bucky, an actual dragon. But this isn’t all fairy tales and happy endings. Hydra, a group of humans bent on genetic control and manipulation, threaten the existence of all creatures, and it is up to an elf, a dragon, and a handful of other magically inclined creatures to put an end to the kidnapping, abuse, experimentation, and murder . . . if they can.

Repaid, by @waffilicious,

Rating: T

Archive warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 20k

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers

Tags: Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Urban Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Identity Issues, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Recovery, Mind Manipulation, Emotional Manipulation, Hurt/Comfort    

Summary: Bucky, having been freed from his captivity in Faerie, finds it difficult to readjust to life on Earth. Steve and Sam do their best to help, but it’s not until Bucky meets Wanda and she tells him about the Wakandan Magical Rehabilitation Program that progress is made. Meanwhile, a hidden threat may get in the way of Bucky’s recovery.

Art by @alishawinky

Art by @samthebirdbae

Saying Your Name by brideofquiet Art by @sorrowingsoldier

Rated E

Archive Warnings No Archive Warnings Apply Word Count 43k Relationships Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes Tags  Surreality, Magic realism, Religous imagery & symbolism, Homesickness, Pre- and post-serum everybody, suicide ideation, medical trauma,  Post-TWS, Not CW compliant

Glancing back up, Steve realizes that there’s something off about what he’s seeing. It takes him a moment to place it, overcome as he is with seeing his home—and it is his home, the Brooklyn he grew up in.

But the longer he stares, the more the image starts to distort. His own memories layer over top, a perfect duplication, but it’s like a layer of paint. He scrubs a hand over his eyes, stares harder and—there! The colors flicker out like cheap lights, fading away into grayscale till the sky is off-white, the East River churning charcoal below him.It’s eerie, uncanny, the not-quite-rightness of it all. If he doesn’t focus on anything in particular, the image snaps back into place, right again.

It unsettles him, making him nervous and flighty in place of the warm familiarity he’d felt only moments before.

Then he remembers: Hadn’t Bucky called to him, from just this spot?

Read the story here, and see the art here!

Misc. No Powers AU

Brave Boy by rooonil_waazlib with art by kissuru

37663 words Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers Characters: James “Bucky” Barnes, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Sarah Rogers, Clint Barton, Riley (Captain America movies) Additional Tags: Witness Protection AU, Stucky Big Bang 2017 Summary:

“CHORUS: Brave girl. KASSANDRA: People never say that to a lucky person, do they?” -“Agamemnon”, Aeschylus (trans. Anne Carson)

-

Steve’s always wanted to see Madrid: to have the chance to wander through Retiro Park; to explore the Museo del Prado and the Royal Palace and the Reina Sofía; maybe to light a candle at the Almudena Cathedral; to drink wine and eat tapas at all hours of the night and go dancing until the sun comes up, just once or twice.

Never in his entire life had he expected it might happen this way, though: a terrible memory ground into his brain; a scar the size of his fist knotted over his shoulder; his friends convinced he’s dead; his hair dyed dark; and a bodyguard next to him that’s pretending to be his new husband.

COFFEE AND COMICS by @mmouse15

Rating: Teen and up Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Words: 23k Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Tags: coffee shop AU, modern AU, pre-serum Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes needs a hug Summary: A coffee shop AU that’s not about coffee, but about writing and life, and how a person’s value system influences the choices they make. It just so happens to (mostly) take place in a coffee shop.

ART by @izulkowa

Dreaming of Him by Loneliness_of_Evening

Rating: M

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 36K

Relationships: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Tags: Recreational Drug Use, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Mobster Bucky, Nanny Steve, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Modern AU

Summary: New York City hosts millions of different people living vastly different lives. Some people are nannies who dream of being artists, and some are mobsters who dream of being more than the big guys’ drivers. A chance meeting—rather a chance game of nose goes—brings these two people together, and a simple knock at the door becomes fate. But can fate avoid disaster? Or will they both be left alone with only dreams?

Art by @sundaecherries (NSFW)

Art by @happylaune

I Do (please say you want me) by ceeainthereforthat Ao3 / tumblr

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warnings: None

Words: 84k

Relationships: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Tags: No Powers Modern AU, Fake Engagement/Marriage, BDSM, RACK, CBT, TopDom Steve Rogers, BottomSub Bucky Barnes

Summary:  Steve Rogers wants to be President of the United States. That’s why Bucky should tell him no when Steve asks him out on a date…but he doesn’t, and the story about the son of former Vice President Joe Rogers and a high ticket BDSM dominant going out on the town is in the media days later. When Steve won’t throw Bucky under the bus to save his reputation–and his popularity ratings–they’re offered Plan B: Love at First Sight. A Whirlwind Courtship. A Fairytale Wedding, and an amicable divorce five years later.

Sure. That’s gonna work

.Say Goodnight and Go by gingertintedglasses

Rating: T

Archive Warnings: Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings

Words:  26,586

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes

Tags: Boston snowpocalypse 2015, fluff, copywriter!Bucky, graphic designer!steve, panic attacks and past self-harm mentions, unexpectedly sharing space, pining, bisexual bucky barnes, sarah rogers and rebecca barnes are treasures, super background natasha/sharon that I want to expand in some one-shot follow ups at some point

Summary: Bucky and Steve work for SSR Marketing in Boston. It’s January 2015 and it’s starting to snow in Boston, faster than can be kept up with. Bucky ends up with few transport options to get home and Steve offers to let Bucky crash on his couch until the MBTA is running reliably again. Mutual pining, close quarters, some weather-related mishaps, and some well-timed meddling from a mischievous, well-meaning Sarah Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, and Rebecca Barnes, do their level best to help Steve and Bucky own up to their feelings. Lots of awkward flirting, second-guessing, coffee, snow, and a puppy.

Art by @whatasaur​  

Art by @comedicdrama​  

The Greatest Show on Earth by youngavengersfeels

Rating: M

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 25K

Relationships: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Tags: Circus AU

Summary: When Steve’s mother dies he runs away to join a circus to escape the debt left behind. He finds himself part of something much larger than himself as he falls for an acrobat known only as the Winter Solider.

Art by Brooklyn-bisexual

Art by @buckybarnesbutt

That Would Be Enough by MarcellaBianca Tumblr

Rating: E

Archive Warnings: Chose not to Use Archive Warnings

Words: 62K

Relationships: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Tags: AU: private school, AU: Teachers, Pining, Angst with a happy ending, Fluff and Smut, These Two Are Idiots, Brunch, Gym, Bucky Barnes Needs A Hug CW: Eating disorders, references to emotional and psychological abuse, and attempted dub-con sex

Summary: Bucky Barnes, a Columbia University graduate with a Masters Degree in Education, is in his fourth year of teaching AP US History at Shield Academy, a private school in the very heart of the Connecticut valley in the bucolic town of Barkstead. He also helps run the Russian Club with his colleague and best friend, Natasha Romanov. He’s got amazing friends, three nephews he adores, and a beautiful little apartment. The only thing Bucky would change about his life? His luck in love. It’s been two years since Bucky ended an emotionally abusive relationship and he’s just now starting to feel that his heart has healed enough to try dating again. Then, a new Art History and English teacher arrives with tattoos he doesn’t like talking about, a body like a Greek god, and some secrets of his own, and Bucky knows he’s done for. Cue pining, sass, and a TON of geeking out over Hamilton.

Art by alienswearsunglasses

Political Submissive by Samwise_baggins & Steve-Bucky-Stucky

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-con

Word Count: 87,963

Relationships: Steve Rogers/James “Bucky” Barnes, Johnny Storm/ Thomas ‘TJ’ Hammond, Jack Benjamin/David Shepherd

Tags: BDSM, Graphic Sex, Prostitution, PTSD, Rape/Non-con, Abuse, Pre-Serum, Post-Serum

Summary:  Steve’s always struggled with owning a Submissive because of his size, and Bucky with his missing arm doesn’t have a lot of Dominant buyers/suitors. TJ, Bucky’s twin, would be a popular Submissive, though he’s never settled down, mostly one night stands. One night when attending an art show, the twins meet Steve and the world changes!

Artist: Colbaltmoony ( tumblr)

The Selection by worrisomeme

Rating: Mature Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Words: 20k Tags: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage (kind of), panic attacks, PTSD, disabled Bucky, disabled Steve, tattoo artist Steve, writer Bucky

Summary:

The Department of Spousal Selection. Anyone not married by age 25 gets a spouse assigned to them by the government. And it’s fine, really. The matches are almost always a perfect fit. Steve Rogers is a successful tattoo artist who’s about to have his world turned upside down when he’s matched with a one Bucky Barnes. As they navigate their new life together and learn to deal with each other’s baggage, will their match prove successful, or will their inner demons tear them apart?

[art] by @lasenbyphoenix

Modern Veteran AU

All or Nothing Days by Lacanthrope

Rating: M

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Words: 20K

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/ Steve Rogers, James “Bucky” Barnes & Wanda Maximoff

Tags: Amputee Bucky Barnes, War Vetran Bucky Barnes, Pre-serum Steve, Alternate Universe- No powers

Summary: Sleeping rough in a big city was a shitty way to live, but Bucky knew it was better than he deserved after what he had done. What he had been asked to do and then did. He didn’t deserve the neatly-packaged leftovers from Wanda, the girl who lived in the apartment building he slept outside of, or the smokes she always shared with him. Most of all, he definitely didn’t deserve Steve, the completely fearless volunteer at St. Benedict’s, looking at Bucky the way he did. But when Wanda goes missing and the cops don’t seem to be doing anything about it, Bucky goes stumbling into the dark underbelly of the city to find her. He also happens to stumble right into Steve, who sticks his nose right where it shouldn’t go and insists on helping Bucky get to the bottom of Wanda’s disappearance. All they have to do is survive stirring up the largest criminal organization in the city and all of the unsavoury characters who come with it.

Art by dire-situations

Getting to the Groot of the Problem by Werewolfinthetardis

Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Words: 32,798 Relationships: Bobby Drake/Steve Rogers, James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers Tags: Friends to Lovers, kid fic (kinda), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Depression, Angst, Explicit Language, Mentions/Depictions of various types of sex and foreplay, Modern Setting- No Powers AU, Amputee Veteran Bucky Barnes, Post-Serum Steve With life winding down new problems pop up, and Steve and Bucky are left struggling with their own personal demons. Steve is trying to figure out what being bisexual really means, while Bucky deals with depression, PTSD, and life with only one arm. Their friendship on the verge of collapse, their lives only get weirder when everyone’s favorite Guardian of the Galaxy, Baby Groot, ends up living in Steve’s apartment. Will the little hell-raiser help fix the problems or will he just create new ones? Amazing Art done by the incredible cancerousmonkey

Shelter from the Storm by ironmanspanties

Rating: T

Archive Warnings: Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Words: 63k

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers

Tags: Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Minor Character Death, minor description of violence, PTSD, Slow Burn, Mention of infidelity (not Steve/Bucky), Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bucky’s arm Sucks, Mention of Child Abuse, Past Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers, Past Bucky Barnes/Jake Jensen

Summary: To lessen the pain from his wife’s betrayal, Steve Rogers is headed as far from his problems as he can get. Though he’d reached the Oregon coast, he still felt broken, empty, and alone. When circumstances leave him stranded on the coast during a summer storm, he sought refuge with the local War vet, who was no haggard old man, but rather a handsome recluse with stormy past of his own. What was it about James Barnes that kept Steve from returning to wandering?

Art by laufcysons

You Belong in a Gallery by gr8escap tumblr

Archive Warnings: Chose not to Use Archive Warnings

Relationship: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes

Word count: 55K

Tags:  Modern AU, Artist Steve Rogers, skinny Steve, veteran amputee Bucky, PTSD, mention of past suicide ideation, mention of past drunken non-con, partial deafness/hoh steve

Summary:  Brooklyn gallery owner and successful comic artist Skinny!Steve Rogers has overcome a lot in his life. He just hasn’t figured out the dating scene. Veteran!Bucky Barnes returned home from Afghanistan minus an arm, but after a rough patch, he has goals to become a graphic designer and even a video game developer. He just has to get through his temporary work as a construction worker so he can get back to school. The pair meets and works to overcome their personal struggles at the same time exploring whatever this is between them that’s moving so fast.

Art 1; Art 2; (& header) by @linguastrata

Neighbours AU

i wish i knew you when i was young by bagels-and-seagulls AO3

Rating: G

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 21k

Relationships: Steve Rogers / Bucky Barnes

Tags: Art History Professor Steve Rogers, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Kebab the therapy dog, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Slow Build

Summary:

“You can pet her. I mean, if you want to that is. I’m not, like, demanding that you pet my dog or anything. I’m just saying that you can, if you want. I know that the, uh, vest says not to, but, like, it’s okay, if I say it’s okay. Which I do, so you can, if you want…” What the fuck, Steve? Does your brain to mouth filter really suck that much?

Bucky blinked at him slightly before scrunching his nose up slightly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

or the one where Steve doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut around his new neighbor and his dog thinks it’s hilarious

Art by starlingzinc

To Have or Have Not by blue_pointer on ao3

Rating: E

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 56k

Relationships: Steve/Bucky, Bucky/Falsworth, Steve/Peggy, Steve/Bucky/Falsworth, Steve/Bucky/Peggy, Peggy/Falsworth, Bucky/Tony (poly)

Tags: Boy Next Door, Infidelity, Romance, Fluff and Smut, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Pregnancy, threesomes, Stucky dads, First Times

Summary: Having a little crush on your hunky new neighbor is totally harmless…unless that hunk has set his sights on you. Fidelity is easy when Steve Rogers isn’t doing his best to seduce you.The second Steve sets eyes on Bucky, he knows he’s the one. Peggy’s left it up to him to choose the father of their child. Now how to break it to him…Bucky believes that cheating is wrong. When he discovers love isn’t limited to the confines of a single relationship, can he accept what his heart is telling him?

Art #1 by @drowningbydegrees (NSFW)

Art #2 by @drowningbydegrees (NSFW)

Sci-Fi

Anything But Circumstance by Crave

Rating: M

Archive Warnings: Graphic Descriptions of Violence

Words: 20k

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers/Other Character(s) (minor)

Tags: Science Fiction, Action, Space Opera, Alternate Universe - Space, Original Character(s), Implied/Referenced Suicide, Humor, Aliens, Identity Porn, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Implied/Referenced Torture, Panic Attacks, Nightmares, so much sass, IN SPACE!

Summary:

“You are talking to me,” the voice said.

“And who are you?”

There was a pause. “It is probably best if I show you,” the voice said.

One of the walls, the one Steve had been inspecting, began to slide up and up into the ceiling. Steve dashed forward, only to collide with the solid sheet of glass behind the wall. The glass didn’t break, even when Steve pounded it with his fists.

“No need to get hysterical,” the voice said. “Why not step back and admire the view?”

Art by shutupimcreating

The Saughteling by Claudia_flies and zilia

Rating: E

Archive Warnings: Graphic Violence

Important Tags: Star Wars AU, explicit sexual content, past-trauma, references to torture, action adventure, psychic connections, dream sharing, epic lightsaber battles, angst, internalized homophobia, violating the Jedi code, accidental voyeurism, MCU Star Wars AU, Old Republic

Summary: James Buchanan Barnes and Steve Grant Rogers arrive at the Jedi Temple just over twelve months apart.

Many years later, a disillusioned Jedi Knight Steve Rogers returns to the Core Worlds at the summoning of the Jedi Council. Instead of following the will of the Council, Steve chooses a different path. His quest will lead Steve to confront a specter from his past and finally open himself up to the will of the Force

The most amazing art by @hopeless–geek here and @this-simple-mind here (NSFW) and here

There Is A Light That Never Goes Out by OktaviaMiki (pandasubaru)

Rating:M

Archive Warnings: Choose Not To Use Warnings

Words: 39k

Relationships: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes (minor Sam Wilson & Natasha Romanoff)

Tags: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Robot/Human Relationships, Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, AvertedNonCon

Summary: Two years have passed since Bucky was honorably discharged from the army, and still he’s plagued by the scars and memories. While coping by means of drinking, he orders a persocom, a popular humanoid computer, who arrives (naked) the following morning and he names “Steve”. Bucky wants nothing to do with Steve at first, but because of Steve’s kind influence he begins to open up and his outlook on life changes for the better. Lines are blurred when Bucky realizes his feelings for Steve go beyond that of an owner and machine, feelings Steve might return

Art by @frau-argh

Art by @comedicdrama

Art by @10ftalice

Warhawk by Unicornologist

Rating: T

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 43k

Relationships: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Tags: Space AU, Stark Strek AU, canon typical violence, war of 1812 au, slow burn, swearing, enemies to lovers

Summary: Twelve years ago, the Terran Revolution ended. Nicky Fury swore an oath to himself and the known universe that he would never return to the empty void of space again. He vowed that he would rather be tried for treason than set foot on another warship. Yet somehow, all these years later, here he stands in front of his captain’s chair watching the endless black surge past his ship. He watched his crew readying for the battle to come; he could hear Rogers and Barnes bickering over strategy while Romanov and Stark readied the long range blaster cannons and checked the shields. “The universe has a sick sense of humor.” He muttered to himself with a sigh.

Art by @sundaecherries (Hannah)

[estherroberts]

going home - part 1

fandom: ars paradoxica

words: 1867

rating: T

characters: esther roberts, various family members, jack wyatt, bridget chambers (mentioned), everyone else in the time gang (mentioned)

summary: esther roberts visits her mother and some memories when she takes a trip to new york in 1945 (takes place right before episode 4, “bullet”)

spoilers for episodes 4 and 13 , read part 2 here 

esther sits on the plane and she can hear her heart pounding in her chest. she isn’t afraid of flying, no, she’s never been afraid of anything. instead, her heart beats with excitement. 

new york is her city. no matter how far she goes, no matter how high she climbs, there is a piece of her waiting in the big apple. she’s not going to think about bridget, oh no. instead, she thinks of her mother, and how in the hell she’ll navigate that conversation. she tries a few replies in her mind, practicing possibilities and dodging difficult questions, but it’s been over a year since she’s spoken to anyone outside polvo and she wouldn’t even know where to begin. esther gives up, and falls asleep for the rest of the flight.

“ESTHER! WHY HAVEN’T YOU RANG!” esther is assaulted by hugs, kisses and nagging the minute she steps in the door. “i did ring! and look!” she waves her arms around, “i’m here now!” “give me your coat! you haven’t been eating enough! sit down! i just got back from the nice deli your father used to go to.” “i’m not hungry,” she laughs, “i ate something when i got off the plane.” all her mom has to do is look at her and she’s complying. “okay, okay! i’m eating, see?” her mother, thankfully, asks no questions about the job. instead, she asks about the food, (yes, they’re feeding me there!) the “nice, jewish boys” (no, i’m there to do science! and that joke’s getting old) the bosses (yes, they’re treating me right!) and of course, the friends (my god! mom, yes, i have friends!) esther, of course, has no right to be indignant about the last question. she’s never been good at… interpersonal relations. sure, she has friends now. but boy, does she know how to utterly destroy every close relationship she’s ever had. she finally manages to take hold of the conversation and asks her mother how things have been in new york. “oh, well, here, the plumbing’s gone wonky and six more floorboards are creaky. sometimes i get letters from your aunts because they never got phone lines, but what can you do?“ “what can you do indeed,” esther mumbles, as her mother continues. “marceline across the street had another baby, can you believe? joe carson died, that goldstein girl got married finally, and,” a beat of silence. “the martinellis next door? they got a rock thrown through their window, moved out two weeks ago. you used to be friends with their girl, right?” esther’s brain presents her with a memory of kissing angie martinelli in the alley between their houses at age fourteen. “um.” she clears her throat, hoping she isn’t blushing. “yes. that’s awful, though!” her mother nods. “it’s been happening to all the families on the other side.” “but the martinellis, they’re americans! so’s everyone else who lives here now.” “i know.”

“ma?” “yes?” “is it true that- that they’re not letting us in? from europe?” esther does her best to stay informed, of course she does, but they don’t have much access to the outside world, other than the occasional radio update. the doorbell rings before esther gets an answer, but her mother looks back as she gets up. “we’ll talk about it after your cousins leave.”

thankfully, most of the conversations don’t revolve around esther. somehow she is handed someone’s baby (is it abby’s? or rita’s?) and she occupies herself by using the scientific method to test which facial expressions get her cousin to laugh the most. she is directly addressed only twice, once at the door on their way in with pleasantries, and once at the door on their way out with further pleasantries. in return, she attempts to join in the conversation only once. “i heard they were actively hiring lesbians in the army,” rita says in a scandalized whisper, and it takes everything esther has not to react. “i heard they were trying to weed them out!” abby replies, and esther looks up, and says, “i heard they’re doing good work.”

it’s silent after that, for a minute, before someone brings up their friend’s husband’s aunt’s matzo and how awful it was. she spends the rest of the evening cursing herself under her breath.

when esther was sixteen years old, she got in the habit of waking up every morning at three to the sound of her mother’s tears. though it has been quite some time since then, she finds that once again, her feet carry her to the kitchen in this twilight hour. somehow she doesn’t think that it’s her father’s death that her mom is grieving this time. “oh, esther,” her mom gets up, still crying, and puts the kettle on. “i’m sorry i woke you.” she shakes her head. “no, it’s okay.” and in that moment, it hits esther full force. she’d been too caught up in sally’s arrival, the time-piece, the trip to vegas and the rumors about the bomb test that she had almost forgotten. her people have been killed and tortured in europe by the thousands, and she had pushed it to the back of her mind because it hurt too much to look at. but now, at home, in the company of her mother’s sadness, her own grief is allowed to join her at the kitchen table, and it is all consuming. her mother sits back down with hands outstretched and esther takes them, tears welling in her own eyes.

in the morning, it takes esther a few hours and some scrambled eggs before the hollow feeling in her chest is mostly dissipated. her mother leaves for some volunteer food donation meeting, (“you sure you don’t want to come? okay. alright! don’t let me forget i owe you at least one round of dilemma after dinner tonight! i want to see if your skills have improved,”) and esther says her goodbyes faintly before adding that she might go out and take a walk around the city. her current plans mostly consisted of sitting on the couch staring at the phone, until she finally picks it up to talk to the operator. she dials and hangs up five times before whispering, “can you connect me to uh, a bridget dreyfuss please?” it rings once, twice. she feels like she’s going to be ill. “hello?” oh god. it’s her. it’s really her. esther opens her mouth closes it once, twice. “hello? is anyone there? this is bridget speaking.” click! she can’t do it. the scientist in esther is telling her to stay exactly where she is and analyze what went wrong the first time and try again, that she knows the law of large numbers states with more trials there will be more successes but- she really can’t. she gets dressed in a flurry and flies out the door.

being in the city immediately puts her at ease. there is something so relieving about the anonymity of being lost in the crowds of people, something so peaceful. here, she isn’t “esther roberts working on a top secret time machine” here, she is “just another local going about her business” and isn’t that just lovely? she walks without purpose for a long time, weaving in and out of neighborhoods she used to know, taking note of new stores and factories and really, how many more cars there are. when the combination of noise and nostalgia becomes just a little too much, she slips into an art museum and pays the fee. already, the pace of her feet and her heart have slowed measurably. this, she thinks, this is something you really don’t see in polvo. she wanders around, committed to actually appreciating each piece instead of analyzing it. she and bridget used to visit art museums together, she remembers with a jolt, pointing out the figures they related to the most or posing like the statues. she shakes her head, almost smiling, and continues her aimless path. esther isn’t sure if she falls asleep, or daydreams or slips into some other form of time travel than the one they’re working on, but when she finally looks outside it has already gotten dark.

on the way back, esther walks with more confidence and ferocity in her step. she wouldn’t be caught dead looking anything less than lethal at this hour, by herself, in the middle of the city. she does stop once, though. on the street corner opposite, walking with a man in a tailored suit, is that…a familiar glimmer of hair? the light stepping walk esther knows so well? it’s gone. if bridget really had been there, which already she is starting to doubt, it’s not in the cards for their paths to cross tonight. she waits a moment longer, halfway between longing and regret, and heads home.

“it’s your turn!” “i know i’m just- hm.” “admit it, you don’t know what to do!” “never!” esther makes her move and her mother arches her brows, impressed. “have you been practicing?” “actually, i have been! so there’s this guy, jack,” esther smiles, thinking of her friend. “he’s been assigned to all the same projects i have since we got there, and we get along really great, when he’s not making fun of me… or the other way around.” she laughs and adds, “anyway he got the game right away and we play all the time, it’s incredible” she stops for a second, and then looks back up. “yeah, i love jack.” her mother leans forward and sets down her cards. “esther, are you telling me after all the this time you’ve finally found-“ “no,” she shakes her head. “ma, he’s my best friend. it’s not like that.” for a minute, she thinks her mom won’t believe her. but then, “you’ve never had one of those either. i’m happy for you.” esther beams. “thanks. it’s nice.” her mother takes her turn and then asks her about her other friends. as they play, esther happily tells her about sally and anthony and quentin and helen, about dinner parties and their adventures and, without getting into specifics, how wonderful it is to be working on science with a group like that.

“jack?” esther answers the phone nervously, wyatt wouldn’t have called unless something was wrong. “hey, esther,” her friend’s voice crackles through the phone. “i just got back to polvo and uh.” “what is it?” “quentin. he’s. well, he’s dead.” “what!” “he and sally were working on the time piece and apparently a bullet came out of nowhere and shot him and they’re gonna have a funeral, so. come home?” esther’s in shock. of course she’s sad about losing quentin, she really liked the guy, but in that moment all she can think is, it could have been me. it could have been any of us. it could have been me. “yeah. yes. i’ll come home. are you okay? is june? is sally?” “i’m fine, june’s beyond distraught, and i’m eighty percent sure sally’s working on some new tech to prove she didn’t kill him.” “goddamn it. okay. i’ll be there as soon as i can. thanks, jack.” “no problem, esther. see ya soon.”

[wanderingthroughwickford]

Agent Carter S1 E3: Time and Tide Thoughts

With a big chunk of schoolwork out of the way, I was able to watch another episode of Agent Carter last night … time for a thought dump!

What’s up with this awkward recap/intro? I could see Peggy introducing herself and all if this was the first episode, or even the second (as a “previously on…” thing), but it’s the third. Haven’t we already had two episodes to get to know her and the plot?

I love how Peggy just has a convenient Book of Symbols with her. Very Nancy Drew-ish.

I totally thought this guy climbing up Peggy’s building was the mute Leviathan assassin from the previous episode and was like … wait, isn’t he dead? I doubt he survived going over a cliff into a lake on a truck, exploding, and them imploding without a scratch? Then I caught on. Poor guy just wanted to see his girlfriend.

I was having trouble telling apart the various men in Peggy’s office, so a trip to the Wiki did the trick. Dooley’s the chief, Sousa’s the nice guy with the crutch, Thompson is the younger smarmy guy who beats the shit out of prisoners, and Kreminski’s the asshat who gets killed at the end of this episode.

So those two Leviathan bad guys were Russians? Never would have suspected that. I’m guessing that their ‘deaths’ in the war were faked so that they could go work for Leviathan.

Don’t be a petty jerk, Angie. I’d get pissed off too if someone barged in my room in the middle of the night, demanded to make small talk, and then called me an old woman when I politely asked her to go away. (I do like Angie, but that was uncalled for).

DOTTIE UNDERWOOD, I was wondering when she was going to show up. I know all about who she really is.

I felt so bad for Jarvis when he was brought into the office and interrogated. I was scared Thompson would beat him up like he did the other guy. And I get that they genuinely think Howard Stark is guilty, but it was so uncalled for to threaten Jarvis with blackmail when his so-called ‘crime’ had been helping a Jewish woman escape the Holocaust. (I really respect him for that).

Speaking of which, I loved his little “She still is, happy to say” when Peggy asks him if his wife was Jewish. Aww.

I also felt bad for Peggy having to lie and act incompetent to get Jarvis out of trouble. Especially when Dooley was yelling at her like that over what was supposedly just a simple mistake.

Even though we know Jarvis is innocent, I admire Peggy’s insistence that he divulge his past secrets to her. She needs to be sure she’s on the right side, after all.

“No girl’s going to trade in a red, white, and blue shield for a metal crutch.” Get fucked Kreminski. 

Aha, there’s that heart symbol! I’m not entirely sure why Brannis gave it to them when he was the one who stole everything in the first place, but I’m guessing he had a change of heart (pun intended) as he was dying.

Oh, I really liked the painful scenario created by the fact that Peggy has to let someone else take credit for the discovery of Stark’s stolen tech rather than reporting it in herself. Jarvis is right that it would be incriminating for her to reveal everything, but man, it’s hard to see Peggy forced to walk away from the kind of recognition she deserves. :(

On a lighter note, I genuinely laughed out loud over Jarvis’ anonymous phone call. His fake American accent and just the whole demeanour he put on were so hilariously unlike him.

...And there go Kreminski and the witness. And just as he was about to find out Peggy’s role in everything.

Even though Kreminski’s death scene was staged kind of … comedically? I liked that they took it seriously afterwards, like this was a real blow to the office and a sign that things were getting grim. Dooley’s determination not to let this happen to another of his agents was surprisingly touching, though I do worry about what it’ll mean for Peggy and Jarvis. If they find out that Jarvis made the call that unintentionally got a man killed… I hope Peggy will be able to explain everything and be exonerated at the end, rather than just having to remain in the shadows.

Despite my earlier irritation with Angie (it’s not like Peggy’s *obligated* to talk to her) I really liked the scene where Peggy went to see her at the diner and told her about Kreminski. It was nice how Angie was sympathetic despite being frustrated with Peggy earlier. And honestly, even though I assume Peggy’s going to wind up with Sousa and I’m completely fine with that, I couldn’t help but see something romantic in the scene, what with the late night setting and the music playing in the background … <3 It’ll take a bit more interaction for me to wholeheartedly ship Cartinelli, but I’m definitely on my way there, as I knew I would be.

[cold-iron-burns]

We've come to a consensus.

Everyone present at the time of this writing will do their best to inform the ones who need the support of a gentle delivery of current events.

The ayes have it.

YOU WOULD HAVE A PARLIAMENT AS YOUR COMMUNICATION SPACE

what's wrong with that? if we all actually do our jobs, so many more of us will be represented

THATS A LOGICAL ARGUEMENT, BUT WHO IS REALLY GETTING REPRESENTED

-wait WhAt?! HoW mAnY oF yOu ArE tHeRe

Oh honey, more than you will ever know. It's gonna be okay. We found each other and that's what's important. We're gonna start introducing ourselves,

*or at least, becoming more clear*

I love all of you so much, thank you so much for letting me in, for being patient with me. I think I'm the host? what iss. @ -o{oo#t?

started dissociating, it felt physically painful. the documenter.

And the enchanting lady is? *turns to tip his hat and wink at the camera* A -name-? Do you honestly think I could have settled on any name? Any singular--yes, Zed is going to sleep. I'm very fond of him. Attracted to him? He is my Adonis. Every inch of his body is particularly unique to his position in spacetime. There will never again be a Zed in which he appears, feels, smells and tastes exactly the same as he does at this exact moment, continued, forever and so on, as far as you know, infinitely. The Philosopher.

Wait, no, the Philanthropist

Wait wait NO, I stand by The Philosopher (for now)

[hold up, are y'all tellin me -- you c'n cawl me your White Trash Sweetheart, get rid of that bracket there, that's for the Host now

she doesnt know if she's the host or not, wibblywoooooo~ teen punk brat? aww man, fuck you you stupid piece of shit

hiiii yeah hi, I'm post-apocalypse punk Mayor (yes, you can call me that, but its aspirational) wow very humble -- golf commentater (now based on ugh this is important remember the actress' name, you look stupid, don't just stand there staring off into space, GET BACK TO WORK

OH YEAH, hi BiTcH --oh he's gone, that's -too- bad. well, as I'm here anyway, we should get to know one another. I'm "sassy black woman" because you're ashamed people will think you're using me just for drama and that's pretty fuckin racist--

I'm Final Form Chie. I started as so many of our seeds do, a poor slave girl, who loses her virginity yeah it's okay to make shortcuts

FOCUS

she gains skills, proves useful to the master, destroys the master (sometimes with kindness sometimes literally depending on what we need at the time)

[I didn't know it was that specific]

I'm mixed, actually, but I'm inspired SO MUCH by Claws. FUCKING REPRESENTATION FINAL--

>nope nope nope, shut it down<

John Cleese?

not exactly. A bit like the entire cast of monty python rolled into one. I'm from the countryside, but I can't say for sure where

woooooo we almost lost her there. she was panicking about losing this productive high, but she pulled through and FOUND THAT RUBI. Small Town Beauty Queen. I don't find it insulting if it helps you remember me. I started as Fern of Charlotte's Web. I keep that mournful lullaby for you. It really changed your path, dear heart. I don't become Miss America or anything, I'm too old by that time. But I love my family so much. You have so much anger

Yes, that's right, Dearie. Maiden, Mother, Crone. We don't think it was intentional but we like the power we have when we cooperate. Yes, we guide ... oh honey, don't cry, it's gonna be okay. no, n-n-no, no, you don't h-h-have to oh no, I really don't want to be here, I wasn't sure what to wear before, oh, I've gotten comfortable and I'm stuttering less. No, I don't think people who stutter in real life have this drastic of

oh, oh my. oh no, I'm still Achates.

Does it really surprise you? Chie and Amaury loved me so much that they couldn't bear to part entirely. They feel loyal to answer when you call on them when recalled in memories; they consider it their duty to fight in sharing our stories! With Pictures!

I don't need pictures

Don't you? you need to sleep, you're exhausted and you have an appointment tomorrow. Please go the fuck to bed. Slightly Extra (okay kinda actually just really ~(EXTRA)~

okay how do I... Ah, I got it. I'm the lucky early gen x mom you both wish you had -- no, we are not combined, sugar tits.

I'm the hardass 70s-80s mom you would have had if you're life was a movie. Well, technically I can mask as any kind of 70s-80s media mom (one of y'all--us! oh, yes, i hear you. I want you to know I would protect you, Kevin. MOM UGH

keep going - the sprites (soot or rainbow, we shift to suit your needs. we might steal your shoes. we are only some of the fae court. crossover unknown cannot compute - PLEASE HURRY. GOOD. I AM THE ROBOT OF THE 80s and --scratch that record

I'm that part of you who knew she couldn't look like Zach Morris and wanted so badly just to be a little boy. You were SO CONNECTED with the host when I was there?

wait, I'm the host

no, you--you are now because writing takes concentrating which you are losing quickly. Hello! I'm Sassy Progressive Upper Class CONCENTRATE, DAMMIT. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. I don't care if I sound like -your-mom. Someone has to be the mom around here!

Someone has to be the mom around here.

Who wrote it?

you are high af.

keep letting your eyes go out of focus, yes you're getting sleepy, think how nice the bed will feel on that aching body. She deserves some rest, the old girl.

My body is a cow? wait, there's more. she shifts to being omniscient for scenes, if a cowsona (oh, yes, Buana and Gaushala and Pirwa ... Gaushala still has an arrow in the heart.

Yes, WoW Chie (Chiela will do.). I was here while you built your confidence to try... yes, dear, you really should sleep. TO TRY GETTING CATRIN AND RIAIN A HOME AFTER being abandoned when some of you lost the "spark" or whatever with Michael. I orchestrated some of the setup. you don't need to know my name. I'm both Italian immigrant/WHOA DO NOT EVEN CONNECT THE JEWISH COMMUNITY TO--NO, We Dont...*clears throat, drinks water*. No, you're not wealthy like Ms. Maisel, -we-, sorry, sometimes I have to pretend. Speaking of pretending, no, kid, I'm not as funny or talented as all the wonderful Jewish actresses (yeah yeah, Italian-American you, whatever his+her names are, we'll get to you later)

oh nooooo they're not sure if they'll fit the stereotype if they get loud but they wanna

yeah, sure kid, we sound a lot alike. we exist in a liminal space in which America (and new york city) (and every big american metropolis)... we can all celebrate our differences

It's alright, you just need to focus. I'm 90s Successful Well Paying Professional (I can be in the late 80s WA>T)

you're just stating tropes you stupid bitch

whale!

MISS PIGGY

LOOK AT HER FAT FINGERS

remember when you -hold on- hold on for me, my love lovely?

~do you wanna be my lover, gotta get wit my friends, make it last forever cause that's the way it is"

some of us havent learned to swype yet, fuuuuuck. you're popular--but not top tier popular 4th grade 4H champion with all the ribbons. you'll grow up (yes it's hard, i want to be a teacher one day. I'm based on Angie. I'm the imaginary life you might have led if your family wasn't so difficult. We should give them credit, everyone's trying their best. Oh, I can take on mom duties when I need, we also have kids in our future. We live in Lagrange (my husband and I, at this point in the line) but we don't make as much as our parents yet, though. Yet. Yes, I know what it feels like to feel content but maybe have some (or a lot of) wanderlust in life. I'm ten or so years older than you, so while our dedication to staying in Lorain County is important to the values we wish to impart on our children (yes we are Christian. We love Sharon with all our heart and we're so glad (there's a small congregation of us, maybe enough to fill a quiet one room cottage on Sunday, God willing. I'm inspired by the Amish women I see selling their wares and replicate "Amish" methods when making food for my family (I'm good friends with The Baker. We watch Steven Universe with you! We're so excited for the movie and hope we get to talk to you about it! I showed it to Chip and Carol, well I keep talking with them about it and they agreed to get around to watching it with me. I want to be a good ally. I'm, you know, only a little bi. I know that's probably inappropriate--oh- okay, oh, my, oh WOW are my hormones nuts. I'm pretty enough but nerdy enough that I'm kinda in a weird middle tier of popularity. Haha, oh, that's funny. I'm part Sunday (we miss her! some of us are so jealous of her we want to claw her comfortable boomer life from her hands.

That's awful. Shame on you. Suffering is relative.

SHE HASN'T EVEN SUFFERED A FRACTION OF WHAT I SUFFERED

Oh yes. You are the raw emotion of what the Host(?) feels when listening to Jekyll & Hyde, but only the certain version claws at our hearts

We salute the departed Host.

I miss her. Many of us do. But she crumbled under the pressure of knowing too much. She remembered too much before she was ready.

Parliament: We [redacted for time] ...salute her memory. She fought well, carried her armor, was ready to take on anything and change the world, even if in a small way.

She's Not Dead.

sprites: {hushed whispers to avoid being heard by parliament} {WAIT, NO, WE ARE NOT THE HOUSE OF COMMONS}

there's a lot of you when you get mad.

@@@@@@ Angie no, please don't put me to bed. I'm gonna be a computer genius - I mean, maybe not genius and did you know colleges could pay you to get a Bachelor's degree, it's called "scholarships", I mean, this changes -everything-!

I love you, Cameron. I came first, but you gave me a perfect form. I help the others feel calm. Community is punk, but is corporate entanglement the final destination-- hey, wait a minute, I'm not done talking!

whoa bitch. I mean, we have to mention joe. want to be him, want to fuck him, His story, too, is tangible to me. maybe we're a package deal now, ha! I'll try to remember the good times more than the bad, for the health of all of us.

SO SAY WE ALL

wait, what the fuck are you trying to say

hey, it's cool, it's cool.

nah it aint cool

STOP IT STOP FIGHTING

let's think about date sugar

Ah. That was a good distraction. but we really must be off to bed.

is this productive?

Love, it's okay to be sad about losing the real Ben. \It's okay to have any kind of feeling at all.

Ladies and gents and nonbinaries and everyone else, please at least get up into the bed to think about flickin the bean. More like taking a bush-hog to a lil baby bean sprout, but whatever. let the rest of us lie down.

night y'all!

:)

[mikhailandericka]

how well do you know your ocs

(created by avi-burton-writing)

ERICKA

1: What’s your OCs favorite color? purple

2: Where does your OC work? she usually doesn’t work during the school year, but she technically works for Atlas, a company that started in tech but now has its fingers in so many different pies industries

3: What’s your OCs favorite food? chicken adobo 

4: Does your OC prefer paper or plastic? for shopping? she brings her own bags lol

5: How old is your OC? eighteen (i’m going with at the beginning of freshman year being my era for all these questions)

6: Does your OC have any supernatural powers? nope

7: Is your OC in a relationship? not currently, he died.... she thinks.

8: What are some of your OCs strengths? she’s hardworking, honest, observant - and physically just pretty freakin strong

9: What are some of your OCs weaknesses? self-doubt, freezing under pressure, giving her trust

10: What is your OCs favorite outfit? leggings, tank top, running jacket, sneakers. overall in GAIA colors, oxblood and midnight green

11: What is your OCs spirit animal? gazelle? maybe? it would probably be her patronus tbh

12: Is your OC sexually active? not currently

13: What is your OCs earliest memory? watching her mom give a speech

14: Does your OC have a cell phone? If so, what kind? i can’t help imagining her with a flip phone

15: What makes your OC angry? imogen.

16: When is your OCs favorite time of year? early fall

17: How long can your OC hold their breath? at least a minute

18: What kind of underwear does your OC wear? usually bikini bottoms w/ a sports bra

19: Does your OC prefer plaid or polka dots? plaid.... she’s a school uniform girl!

20: What’s your OCs favorite kind of pizza? i can’t help my first thought being hawaiian

21: Who is your OCs best friend? HANA

22: Has your OC ever killed someone? nope

23: Whats your OCs biggest secret? her relationship with michael wasn’t perfect but now he’s dead and it’s hard to reconcile those two things 

24: What does your OC smell like? woodsy

25: What time of year does your OC prefer? the school year - or at least, she used to

26: Is your OC a human or an animal? (or something else idk) human

27: What languages does your OC speak? english, spanish, korean, and a little tagalog

28: Does your OC like anime? ....no? probably not? i don’t know actually. she’s probably into avatar

29: Can your OC swim? hell yeah

30: What does your OC choose to do about the, er, hair down there? keep it tidy? 

31: Does your OC believe in fairies? no.... but she’d love to meet some anyway

32: Did your OC go to college? What did they major in? she’s starting right now! she’s not reallllly set on a major yet, but right now it is political science

33: Are your OCs parents dead? nope

34: Is your OC religious? no, but she was raised with both catholic and jewish traditions/holidays

35: How flexible is your OC? very

36: What turns your OC on? ericka’s a simple girl.... trust, honesty, compliments, and sweaty workouts w/ her boy

37: What was your OCs first word? either “daddy” or her mom taught her to say “vote”

38: Does your OC have any pets? not as a kid but her dad & angie have a dog now

39: Who is your OCs biggest enemy? imogen.... though enemy is a strong word there. ericka, honey, you don’t know real enemies yet.

40: What is the craziest thing your OC has done? that one new years with the drinking and the jealousy making

41: What is your OCs motto about life? work hard & be nice to people

42: Does your OC drink coffee or tea? both. coffee in the mornings/for class, tea at night/with studying

43: Who is your OCs biggest hero? captain america maybe? sydney bristow? not her mother, that’s for sure. 

44: What color eyes does your OC have? green

45: Does your OC like reading? it’s a means to an end... and it’s usually for schoolwork purposes

46: Is your OC loyal? definitely.

47: Does your OC tolerate violence? depends on the kind of violence. 

48: What social class is your OC from? upper middle class. her mom’s a senator.

49: What country was your OC born in? the US

50: Does your OC cry easily? not reallllly..... but she’s been though some tough shit lately okay

51: What is your OCs favorite genre of music? anything she can work out to

52: How does your OC feel about insects? she wont kill them, but she doesn’t like them

53: What is your OCs sexual orientation? straight? at least she thinks so. knowing me, she’s probably bi, but right now i have no plans to explore that

54: Does your OC smoke? nope

55: What gender is your OC? female (cis)

56: What kind of clothes does your OC wear? workout clothes. she wore a uniform for high school so doesn’t really know what to do in college. t shirts and leggings are her comfort zone.

57: Would you call your OC adventurous? depends on the adventure! 

58: Is your OC introverted or extroverted? introverted

59: What is the first thing that someone would notice about your OC? her green eyes & her focused gaze. 

60: Does your OC enjoy nature? yes, as long as there’s still a path to run on

[thetourguidebarbie]

so fun how i’m a canadian citizen with canadian family and canadian friends and i have literally never had anyone ask me a single question about canadian politics ever in my wholeass life but anytime israel, a country i have never been to and am not a citizen of, breathes the wrong way i suddenly have to give a surprise press conference with peer reviewed citations to literal strangers because i’m jewish

[thetourguidebarbie]

I feel like I need to re-emphasize that “genocide” and “war crime” are actual terms of art that have specific meanings, and we need to be really careful about throwing those words around. There are colloquial meanings, of course, but if we’re going to actually accuse countries of violating international law, it’s important to be right.

Note that I’m NOT saying Israel isn’t committing war crimes/genocide. I understand that I have been consistently upset about the pogrom and misinformation, but what is happening to the people in Gaza is horrific and sad.

Happy to provide resources to anyone who is interested.

[thetourguidebarbie]

It is truly incredible how people who have taken the time and energy to educate people about micro-aggressions (a REAL thing they deserve to be able to be openly angry about) suddenly tell Jews they are overreacting to everything and taking things too personally. Do you hear yourself lmao like Listen and Learn™️ unless it doesn’t suit you personally i guess

[thetourguidebarbie]

Imagine calling a video of raw footage of civilians being brutally murdered for being jewish “propaganda” i’m going to throw up. fucking horrific. Literally seeing mutuals who advocated punching nazis talk about how the biggest massacre of jews since the holocaust is a good thing. I’ve never been so afraid of people who say theyre my friends in my life

Y’all would turn me over to the nazis with a smile in the name of “liberation” and clap for me getting shot on camera don’t pretend any fucking different

[thetourguidebarbie]

Surely terminally online nineteen year olds earnestly comparing gaza to auschwitz from the comfort of their dorm rooms can be relied on to provide trustworthy information and nuanced takes on the most complex international conflict of our lifetime

[thetourguidebarbie]

washing my hands of that clown is like the biggest yom kippur energy honestly. not hydrated but definitely cleansed.

[thetourguidebarbie]

sorry i can’t do pesach this year taylor swift’s new album is dropping april 19th and i’ll be catatonic for 3-5 business days

[thetourguidebarbie]

the uniquely jewish experience of having a staring contest with a chipotle burrito bowl until precisely sunset when yom kippur ends so you can jump on it like a feral raccoon