#anger management downtown pittsburgh

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Pittsburgh Anger Management for Men

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Pittsburgh Anger Management for Men

Anger is a misunderstood emotion. Men and women alike have reported feelings of shame in response to their anger, though when managed properly, it is a normal and necessary emotion. Overall, men are more likely to externalize negative or vulnerable feelings, leading to higher incidences of substance abuse and antisocial behaviors, opposed to anxiety and depression. For this reason, it is important for men to have healthy ways of re purposing their anger and other negative emotions and address the causes behind them.Pittsburgh Anger Management for men

The Dangers of Anger

Like anxiety, fear, and excitement, anger activates the sympathetic nervous system, putting your body into a state of fight or flight. Your heart rate increases, blood pressure rises, muscles tense, breathing quickens, and you may perspire. Though these symptoms pass, anger can have negative short- and long-term effects on your health, making it an important thing to monitor. Common health conditions linked with anger include high blood pressure, digestive problems, skin problems, bronchitis, heart attack, and stroke. Luckily, how you deal with and express your anger has huge implications for how it will affect your wellbeing.Pittsburgh Anger Management for men

Because many people believe that anger is inherently bad, a common method of dealing with it is repression, but attempting to stifle anger without addressing the root cause of your feelings can lead to mood disorders like anxiety and depression and targeting that anger to undeserving people in your life. Explosive outbursts are another unhealthy method of dealing with anger that without monitoring can lead to abuse and violence.Pittsburgh Anger Management for men

Calming Down

Sometimes it is beneficial to take a step back, breathe, and assess your feelings; maybe you need to remove yourself from the situation in order to diffuse it. Different people have different ways of coping with anger, but the underlying goal should be to get to a calm enough state that you can express your anger without losing control or hurting someone. One helpful practice that works in many situations is to simply deepen your breathing. This helps reduce the other physical symptoms you may be feeling, and your emotional response will decrease as well. In addition to that, some people like to count, take a walk, or vent to a trusted friend or family member. Pittsburgh Anger Management for men

Outlets

Remember that anger can be productive. It is born out of injustice and shows you what is important to you, but it is important to channel it into healthy outlets, such as writing, art, or exercise. Learn to use your anger to your advantage and then seek to problem solve after you have cooled off. Though anger can help you run a six-minute mile or write a pointedly honest poem, it will not solve the problems that caused it. Be careful, though; the things you may most want to do like punching a pillow or taking a fighting class is more likely to sustain your anger than help you calm down (Bushman, 2002). Pittsburgh Anger Management for men

Moving Forward

When it comes time to address the issues that incited your anger, set rules for yourself beforehand. Take note of your urges when you get angry, so you can be better at self-control in the future. Common anger-induced behaviors include name-calling, insults, yelling, screaming, or hitting things or people, but none of these will help your situation. For this reason, if you feel yourself about to react in a way that is harmful, take a pause and gather your thoughts. Use empathy to understand the other person’s perspective, and remember not to cross the lines you have set for yourself. Further, reward yourself when you successfully express your emotions and manage your anger to reinforce those positive behaviors.Pittsburgh Anger Management for men

Moreover, in situations that do not include other people, like road rage, be aware of the things that you can and cannot change in your environment. Then, do your best to move towards solutions in the situations you have control over and recognize that there is no benefit in getting angry over things you do not, though this is not easy.Pittsburgh Anger Management for men

The most important takeaway is that anger is a necessary part of healthy emotional functioning. Your goal should be managing it in ways that still allow you to be human, but if you are worried that your anger may be out of control and want help with developing skills to deal with it, schedule a free consultation online now to get connected with Pittsburgh’s best therapists!Pittsburgh Anger Management for men

About Makin Wellness :

Founded in 2017 , Makin Wellness is Pittsburgh’s premier therapy and coaching centers located in Downtown , Pittsburgh and New Kensington, PA. The company’s mission is to help people heal and become happy again. Makin Wellness specializes in depression, anxiety, addiction and relationship counseling . MStress Management Pittsburgh

Sara Makin, M.S.Ed, LPC, NCC

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[dancingalone21]

Tell Me Now

Summary: The reader finds out some startling news about her boyfriend Dean.

Characters: Dean x tattooed!reader

Word Count: 1,920

~

Dean watches in horror as a multitude of emotions flutter across your face. It started with adorable confusion and ended on completely ripshit mixed with total heartbreak. The hurt expression you deliver before stalking away yanks his own anger to the surface. Although Dean isn’t upset with you, instead he’s beyond pissed at himself and his current situation. Racing in your direction, he manages to keep an eye on you while still keeping his distance. The last thing this shitshow needs is an argument in the middle of downtown Brooklyn. “Son of a bitch.” Dean growls under his breath, watching your perfect plump ass stomp itself right past his flatbed truck. “Y/N, where are you going?” “Wherever you’re not.” You harshly quip at your boyfriend, refusing to even lock eyes with the lying bastard. “Leave me alone.”

“Y/N…please get in the truck.” The slight panic in his rough voice makes you tense up, that’s definitely a new thing for him. “Just let me explain.”

“I can’t even look at you right now, never mind talk to you, asshole.” You scoff, barely glancing over your shoulder as you speedwalk down the street. “God damnit.” Your boyfriend huffs loudly, no doubt chasing after you with his heavy sounding work boots. “Dude, seriously…” “It’s late, Y/N.” Dean grabs a hold of your bicep, tightening his grasp as you try to break away. “It’s not safe to roam around this neighborhood by yourself. Get in the god damn truck.” The icey glare Dean gets in response makes his stomach drop, “I won’t talk to you or even look at you, ok? Just let me drive you home, sweetheart.” You start hurling insults as you rip your arm away from his strong hand, “Well it seems I don’t have a damn choice.” You snap now hightailing it towards his stupid black Tacoma truck. The tension filled drive home to your apartment is extremely uncomfortable, scratch that - it’s extremely fucking painful. You swing open the passenger side door before the truck even comes to a halt, running away from the 6’1 man calling out your name. You don’t allow yourself to look back, even though you hear Dean climb out of his truck and follow behind you. The resounding slam of your front door in his handsome face is effective, but doesn’t give you the satisfaction that you crave. “I can’t fucking believe this.” You whimper, burying your face into your hands as you sink down onto your faded blue couch. “Y/N.” Your head snaps up to reveal a distraught man standing awkwardly in the living room. “We need to…” “Give me back my friggin key and get out. Now.” Dean hesitates but doesn’t give in to your demand, “No. This is happening whether you like it or not. There’s shit we need to discuss.” You laugh humorlessly before flinging your high heels into the corner of the room, ignoring Dean’s silent pleas. You pull out a bottle of Grey Goose vodka and take a big swig straight from the bottle, pretending you’re not grossed out by the taste. “You wanna talk? Let’s fucking talk.” You sneer at him from across the room before marching right up to him. “Who are you?” “Y/N, wait…” Dean now looks visibly distressed over your simple question and it makes your insides burn. “Damn it!” You yell hitting him hard in the chest. “Answer me now!” “Baby, calm down…” “I’ve been fucking you everyday for the last year.” You snarl getting in your boyfriend’s face again. “So I’m going to ask you again…who the hell are you?!”

Dean painfully rakes over your enraged form, his eyes landing on the intricate sleeve of tattoos that he’s always loved. He’s spent so much time tracing them, kissing them and memorizing them. And now he’s beyond afraid that he’ll never see them again.

“I love you, Y/N.” Dean pleads with his eyes snapped shut. “And I will explain everything but I just need you to trust me.”

“Trust you?” Your voice cracks in disbelief. “Who’s asking? Jeff...or Dean?”

Fuck. That’s the first time Dean’s real name has slipped past your lips and it makes bile rise up in his throat. This isn’t the way you were supposed to find out, this isn’t how things are fucking supposed to be.

The internal war your boyfriend is clearly having only amplifies your anger, “Nothing to say, tough guy? Fine. Let’s talk about your buddy Benny that we just ran into. He had some interesting things to say about you...”

Dean finally locks his hazel eyes on yours, his tormented demeanor instantly changed into something colder, “Go pack a bag, Y/N. This operation has been compromised so I need to remove you.”

“Compromised?!” You squeak with wide eyes, watching him push past you towards the kitchen without a second glance.

Dean automatically ignores your shocked reaction, intending to not leave any room for discussion on this. Of course whatever the hell this is - you still have no fucking clue and it makes your heart beat so hard that it hurts.

Before your jumbled brain even registers it, your body races itself into the kitchen only to find that it’s empty. You hear rushed movements down the hall that lead you into your bedroom. Drawers are hanging open, clothes are thrown all over your bed and there’s a suitcase already half way filled.

“Will you stop?!” You screech causing Jeff or Dean or whoever the fuck he is to freeze. Taking a strangled deep breath, you suddenly feel really light headed as strong hands guide you to sit down.

Dean crouches down in front of you with concern painted all over his features, “Baby, you need to breathe ok?” He adds softly cupping your cheek with his hand.

“I’m not doing shit until I get some answers.” You mumble, making him chuckle at how stubborn you are. “Please just tell me what’s happening.”

“Y/N. I need you to...”

“No.” You growl pushing his chest away from you, he stumbles a little before standing back up and walking out of the room.

“Great.” You groan throwing your head down dramatically.

“Drink this, Y/N.” You look up to see a bottle of water held out in front of you, with an upset expression accompanying it. “You get one question. Then you get your pretty ass off that mattress and pack your shit. Got it?”

You open your mouth to argue but shake away the idea, “Fine. I want to know why...Benny...” You stutter starting to feel your anxiety creep up from the green eyes boring into you.

“Hurry up!”

“Why did Benny call you Dean when your name is Jeff?” You catch the annoyance on your boyfriend’s face, already knowing that he’ll feed you bullshit. Screw It.

“He said you’ve come a long way from being a country boy in Kansas but you’re from Pittsburgh.” You rush out ignoring his daggers. “And he said you haven’t seen each other since the academy. Which doesn’t make sense because you’re a god damn drug supplier!”

“That’s like four questions!” Dean barks out making you jolt in surprise.

“It’s three!” You defend loudly, crossing your arms over your chest with a pointed scowl. “Asshole.”

Dean’s jaw tightens, something you’ve always found sexy, as he curses under his breath, “I’m agent Dean Winchester. I work for the narcotics unit in the FBI and I’ve been undercover for the past year.”

“Oh my god.” Hot tears threaten to spill from your eyes as you see the stress and guilt written all over Dean’s face. “This is because of my dad.”

“You know what your dad does, baby. So yes it’s about him.”

“He...he’s involved in the drug thing but...” You sniffle trying and failing to form a complete sentence.

“The drug thing? He’s practically a drug lord, Y/N!” Dean roars at you. “The large scale of product that he trafficks is just insane. And he’s so fucking meticulous about it all, so surveillance from the outside wasn’t cutting it.”

“Fuck.” You whisper watching Dean pace maniacally along your bedroom’s hardwood floor.

“Your dad has so many underlings doing his dirty work...it’s taken time to collect enough evidence to link it all to him.” Dean sighs dragging a hand down his face. “There’s just so many moving parts.”

Dean pauses once he hears you crying, he moves to comfort you but it’s just all too much, “Don’t.” You rasp feeling droplets cascade down your cheeks.

“For Christ’s sake, Y/N.” Dean huffs deeply. “This wasn’t...you weren’t part of my plan ok? Falling in love was the last thing I thought would happen to me.”

“So what...you’re just gonna arrest me too?” You narrow your eyes. “I’m not even involved in any of that. Not at all!”

“I know you’re not, sweetheart. I did recon on everyone in your dad’s life and the last I knew, you were a hair stylist living in Boston. So color me fucking surprised when I saw that you were actually in Brooklyn.”

“You know my grandmother wasn’t doing well so I came here to help her out. My dad and my idiot brother obviously wouldn’t do it.” You add quietly. “I planned on going back but then I met you...”

Dean nods solemnly, “I know, Y/N. Now will you please work with me here and get going? I can’t risk anything tipping off your father. I need to alert my unit and spring shit into action as soon as possible.” He finishes making your mouth drop open.

“So I’m just supposed to let my dad and brother get burned?” You gasp jumping up from your seat. “While I get to escape?” 

“I worked hard on this case for two god damn years before I even went undercover! I’m not letting it go to hell now, Y/N.”

“I get it, Agent Winchester.” You seethe making him flinch at the name change. “I’m just a random piece of this fucked up puzzle you’ve been playing with all year.”

“You need to understand...this was going down next weekend anyways.” Dean tells you softly. “So it’s just a little early.”

“I wouldn’t even be...” You trail off with it all dawning on you. “You bought me the spa weekend. I was supposed to be away with Cindy when it all happened.”

“Yeah. And now shit’s changed.” Dean grumbles at you. “You’re still involved, Y/N. Even though you didn’t actually participate in anything. You still know about a lot of it and never reported it, which means you can still get in trouble. I’ve tried to keep you out of all my debriefs with the bureau but still...I need to get you away from this. I have to make it so this affects you as little as possible.”

“Fine.” You mutter after skipping a beat. “I pack my shit and then what happens, Dean?”

“I hide you in a safe house.”

~

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10 Anger Management Tips

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10 Anger Management Tips

Do you find yourself getting angry when someone cuts you off in traffic? Is your blood pressure through the roof? Do you freak out more often than you want? Anger is a part of being human and it is important to learn to cope with it in a non-destructive way. Losing you temper can not only take a toll on your relationships, but also your mental and physical health.anger management pittsburgh

anger management pittsburgh

  If you are ready to start taking control of your temper read the following 5 anger management tipsanger management pittsburgh (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push();

  1.) Think

It is extremely easy to say or do what you want while you are in the heat of the moment. Many times it’s these times when  we say something that we , deep down , do not mean. Take some time and think about what you want to say.  Practice some deep breaths or count to ten. Be sure to give the person you are arguing with time to also do the same

  2.) Express

Once you get to the place where you are thinking more clearly, be sure to share your frustration using assertive communication, not aggressive. Share what you are concerned about and be direct. Be mindful of the tone of your voice.anger management pittsburgh

    3.) Work Out

Channeling your anger and getting it our through vigorous exercise can significantly reduce your stress , especially if you get angry on a regular basis. Once you start feeling your anger rise, spend some time outside or hit up the gym. Find out what exercise and physical activity you enjoy!anger management pittsburgh

  4.) Take a Break

Taking time to yourself can help you stay calm. Take some time to yourself and take time outs throughout the day. It’s amazing how taking breaks during the rough parts of the day can help you feel better prepared for more challenges ahead. Walking to get some water , chatting with some colleagues and even watching a funny video on your phone could all be great tiny breaks.

  5.) I Statement

The fastest and easiest way of getting someone to feel defensive is to use YOU statements… for example:anger management pittsburgh

You always do that!

You never take responsibility!

You always piss me off!

Instead of using the you , but sure to use the I. Here is the format you could do this:

  I feel _____ when you do ______ .

Come from a place of empathy and be extra careful to watch your tone and your body language when you are communicating. Also be sure to have an open body posture , so uncross your arms and lean in the other person while they are talking to show you are interested. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push();

  6. Let Go

Have you ever heard the saying that anger and resentment is like drinking  poison and expecting the other person to die? Forgiveness actually is more of a gift to yourself than the other person or situation you are angry about. If you constantly allow anger and negativity to cloud your judgement , you can expect to be negative and bitter more times than you’d like. If you can let go and forgive the person who pissed you off, you both could learn from it and can move forward together.

  7. Take it Easy

When you catch yourself escalating, practice your relaxation tools to work. There are many different things you can to do help yourself relax including imagery, affirmations and diaphragmatic breathing. Listening to music , trying out yoga or taking a hike can all help promote relaxation.

  8.Know Thyself

Drake and Socrates were not kidding when they said know yourself. It is important to be able to recognize what warning signs you have in order to help tame your temper.

  Here are some common warning signs of anger that manifest in the body:

Increased or irregular heart rate:

Sweaty palms

Clenched fits or jaw

Difficult time focusing

Tense muscles

Here are some thinking errors that can trigger anger:

Blaming

Jumping to conclusions

“Mind reading”

Over generalizing

  9.) Cope

Once you get to the place where you know what warning signs signal that your temper is flaring up, you can act quickly to cope with your anger before it gets out of hand. There are countless methods to cool you down and prevent your anger from spinning out of control.

Learn some fast ways to keep your cool:

Be mindful

Pick & choose your battles

Know when to let it go

Prioritize your relationship

Learn conflict resolution

10.) Know When to Seek Help

If you are noticing that your anger is still out of control, regardless of trying the previous anger management techniques, it could be time to get some help… especially if you are getting in trouble legally or hurting those that you care about the most.  Asking for help is a sign of strength and getting honest feedback from a caring therapist can help you out.

About Makin Wellness

Sara Makin,M.S.Ed.,NCC

Founded in 2017 , Makin Wellness is Pittsburgh’s premier therapy and coaching centers located in Downtown , Pittsburgh and New Kensington . The company’s mission is to help people heal and become happy again.  Makin Wellness specializes in mental health, addiction and relationship counseling .

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Anxiety: Types, Treatments, and Tools to Cope

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Anxiety: Types, Treatments, and Tools to Cope

“In any given moment, we have two options: To step forward into growth, or to step back into safety. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” – Abraham Maslow

We all experience times when we feel stressed, worried, anxious, or nervous. We worry about family responsibilities, finances, health, work, and other obligations. As we discussed previously, there are a variety of holistic options for anxiety relief. However, we must first identify the source of our anxieties and its severity in order to take steps in correcting it. Recognizing the root cause is the first step toward positive change and healthier ways of managing stress and anxiety.

Types of Anxiety

The most common types of anxiety are generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), social anxiety, specific phobias, and panic disorder. Anxiety is also present in other conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Symptoms of more than one type of anxiety are commonly experienced. It’s vital to seek support as early as possible before anxiety begins to take over your life. Talking to a trained professional can provide resources and tools to cope.

Anxiety overload may show itself in the form of irritability, anger, inability to concentrate, stomach problems, panic attacks, muscle tension, diarrhea, nausea and vomiting, dry mouth, and sleep disturbances.

Start by asking yourself these questions:

Is anxiety and worry affecting my quality of life?

Is the dread and fear I’m experiencing robbing me of joyful moments?

Am I feeling stuck with the belief that drugs are my only option, or that I have no other option than to live this way?

Everyone has a tipping point with various triggers that bring about anxiety. Taking inventory of ourselves and having self-awareness gives better opportunity to manage stress and anxiety. Be mindful of your day to day habits. Keeping a log or journal at times you’re feeling worried or anxious can help sort out your thoughts, allowing you to take more control over the situation. Understanding the trigger, or root cause of your anxiety will better equip you in being able to manage it.

Remaining in a perpetual state of anxiety is detrimental to physical and emotional wellness. Finding a professional trained in holistic treatment methods can provide safe, effective options for managing anxiety.

Treatments and Tools to Cope

Whether you suffer from a mild anxiety or more chronic form, you may be inclined to think the only option is anxiety medication. Prescribed medication may be necessary for a period of time for some people. However, clinical studies have shown various herbal remedies and botanical to significantly decrease anxiety.

According to a study published in Phytotherapy Research, Echinacea extract showed significant relief of anxiety in only three days. While this isn’t considered a cure all, it may provide natural relief, without the side effects of prescription drugs. And, it is always recommended to talk with your doctor when making any changes to your wellness routine.

See our previous post for more natural, holistic options for coping with anxiety. Exercise, eating well, and getting plenty of rest are essential tools to managing anxiety and overall wellness. If you are interested in more natural treatment for stress or anxiety, contact us today for a free 15-minute consultation!

About Makin Wellness

Founded in 2017 , Makin Wellness is Pittsburgh’s premier therapy & coaching centers located in Downtown Pittsburgh and Downtown New Kensington. The company’s mission is to help people heal and become happy again.  Makin Wellness specializes in depression, anxiety, addiction, trauma, medical marijuana assited treatment and relationship counseling. 

Laura Stewart, BA, CHN Makin Wellness