#anewlivelihood

[thisbiasedlife]

A New Livelihood (Werewolf! Jimin x Werewolf! Reader) Chapter 6

Note: Hey everyone! I know it has been a minute. I am so sorry about that. I hope this chapter is worth the wait and that everyone enjoys it. If you do like it, please leave me some love in my inbox. It really does motivate me to keep going. 

Pairing: Reader x Jimin

Genre: Fluff, Maybe a smidge of angst

Rating: PG - PG13 (for this chapter)

Characters: Aera (Reader), BTS, and Jung (Reader’s brother)

Word Count: 4.16k

Summary: Aera (or really Y/N) belongs to a pack of more traditional werewolf values led by her brother, Jung (or really Y/B/N). The very brother that murdered their parents in cold blood solely for the purpose of ascending to the position of Alpha. With her tyrant brother in control, Aera (or Y/N) is forced into a mating ritual with a rival pack in order to cement their alliance with her own pack. Things take a turn for confusing when this forced ceremony turns out to be far from forced. Aera (Y/N) must learn to adapt to an entirely different lifestyle, one that stands in drastic contrast from her own, while simultaneously navigating the confusing and passionate nature that is the mating bond.

*Events in this chapter take place about two weeks following chapter 5*

 It had been two weeks since I had come clean to the whole pack about the unspeakable horrors I had committed. Too afraid to say the words from my own mouth to anyone but Jimin, I had broadcasted it through the shared mind network of the pack. Their response, as soon as I had worked up the courage to head downstairs to hear it (with the help of Jimin of course), had been absent of judgment. Sure, they acknowledged that what I had done was bad, but they had also acknowledged my reasons for it. I was a tool, used by someone evil they had said. I was no more guilty than a wrench or a rake, as I had absolutely no choice in the matter. I had argued that I could have just let my brother kill me and died a pure person, but they did not fault me for having the desire to live. They had understood, beyond my comprehension, the evils of the supernatural world and the reasons for my actions. They asked only that I try to do better and leave it all in the past. I would do my very best to be the person that I wanted to be all those years that I had been trapped in that darkness. There were no more excuses for not rising out of my metaphorical ashes.

 My rebirth could not seem to have come soon enough before I began to get nauseous at smells that previously didn’t bother me. Morning sickness quickly followed with a miserable intensity. I had heard, from female elders of my old pack that this was consistent with conception of a child. That it was a sign of pregnancy. Generally, in sort of an uncomfortable fashion, the males were able to sense the pheromones of a pregnant female before she herself knew. I had yet to hear anything from any of the guys. Though, I supposed it would have been uncharacteristically rude for anyone but Jimin or Namjoon to acknowledge it. Thus, I remained relatively uncertain. My exposure to the pheromones of pregnant females in my old pack had been brief, as they were usually sequestered from the rest of the pack after it was discovered that they were pregnant. There were unfamiliar smells in the house where Bangtan resided, but new smells came and went all the time. Far be it from me, to know if any of the smells were indicative of my being pregnant. I had also noted that none of the guys appeared to have ever been around a newly pregnant female wolf, with Jimin being the first to acquire his mate. Maybe, they had no idea what the smell of pregnancy was, even if it had been driving them absolutely crazy this whole time. It would be rude to ask me if that was coming from me, right?

 Part of me was human and part was wolf. By that logic, I should be able to go into town and buy a pregnancy test to clear it all up, right? But what if I didn’t like what the test had to say? What if I wasn’t ready to be a parent? I was still sorting through my demons and finding out who I was in my new life. That would surely be a confusing environment to bring a baby up in. Plus, Jimin and I were still technically young. Was he even ready for a baby? Did he want one? What would it mean for his career that he had worked so hard to achieve? I surely couldn’t ask him to give that up for me, no matter how much he claimed that he liked me.

 I had decided that, to distract myself form the myriad of questions that racked my brain, I would head into town to pick up a pregnancy test. Maybe it would end my suffering by telling me I wasn’t pregnant and had nothing to worry about. Maybe I was just sick.

 I would first have to clear my expedition with Namjoon though. Things had been relatively quiet and I had healed up just fine, so I was pretty sure he would let me go with little resistance. I ventured to the living room where he was sitting with Yoongi and Jin watching some TV, in one of their rare moments of relaxation. “Namjoon-nim would it be okay if I went into town today to do a little shopping?” I asked leaving out just what I was shopping for.

 “Aera, please, we’ve been over this. You can call me by -ssi or even -a. You’re family now. You sure you don’t want to wait for Jimin to get back with Taehyung and Jungkook?” Namjoon questioned. “I mean, I know he’s been stuck up your ass for the past two weeks and I’m sure you’re glad that he went off with Taehyung, Hoseok, and Jungkook for a run to give you a little alone time, but still wouldn’t you feel safer with him, especially with the baby and all?” Namjoon continued not skipping a beat. I was shocked into utter silence. How had he known? How long had he known? The shock must have registered on my face and Namjoon let out a light chuckle, accompanied by a small smile from Yoongi and a wide smile from Jin.

 “Surely, you don’t think I didn’t know. I picked up on it about a week ago. Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook still appear to have no idea for what it is worth. Did you know?” Namjoon asked while I struggled to keep my mouth closed rather than agape. “No, that was why I was headed out actually. To get a test to be sure. I’m not very familiar with what it smells like as most females were hidden away from the rest of my old pack following a discovery of pregnancy” I disclosed.

 “Oh, well yeah. It was pretty unfamiliar at first, but I eventually placed it. I was wondering if you were ever going to come clean about it. Jimin has noticed you putting out some pheromones indicating sickness but little else. He’s been worried that he can’t seem to do anything about it. Hence, the need to go out for a run this morning. Do you plan to tell him?” Namjoon asked.

 I froze for a second considering whether or not I wanted to show my vulnerability. Did I extend my neck out and chance that it get bitten? Namjoon was very unlike my old alpha, maybe some vulnerability would do me some good. “I worry about how he’s going to react” I admitted nervously rubbing my right arm with my left hand.

“I assure you that it is unlikely that he will react poorly. Jimin has always seemed quite fond of kids. Maybe closer to their level than a parent should be behavior-wise, but still absolutely enamored with them. He cares for you too, so I don’t predict he’ll have much of a problem” Jin reassured me. “I think he’ll be super excited about it” Yoongi added. Their reassurances relieved the dull ache of dread that had begun to sound in my heart. I decided that I would tell Jimin when the right opportunity presented itself. He had a right to know.

 “If you want to tell him on your own terms, we had better conclude this conversation. He is within hearing range now and closing in fast. His heartbeat sounds normal so I don’t think he heard anything” Namjoon suggested.

 I ran quickly to a window overlooking the backyard of the house the Bangtan pack resided in. I watched as Jimin transformed back into his human form. Bones that had previously cracked and twisted, now cracking again and melding into a new form. To many, this process would be regarded as gross or nausea-inducing. Sure, it was not the most aesthetically pleasing sight, but Jimin honestly made it look like an art form. His was a beautiful art centered around the expression of the body. As I saw him begin to glance toward the window, I ducked down quickly out of sight not wanting to be accused of trying to peep on a now human and completely naked Jimin. Really, his complete and utter nudity had just been a bonus to watching his transformation in action.

 I bolted into the center of the kitchen trying to feign my search for something to eat. Moments later, after ample time to get dressed, Jimin bounded into the kitchen with Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jungkook not far behind. As he entered through the threshold of the door, the fluorescent lighting of the kitchen shone on his forehead and his exposed arms and chest (his tank top left little to the imagination). I felt myself swoon a little. Though I had been blessed to see this sight many a time, I was still not used to it. He was truly a work of art and it made me weak in the knees every time.

 “Feeling any better?” he questioned, his focus almost entirely on me after sending a nod Namjoon’s way. He walked up to me and wrapped me into a hug from behind. I suppressed a gasp at the instant comfort of his touch as the hard lines of his body met the softer lines of my own. Tone was certainly an understatement.

 “Yes. I just got kind of hungry, so I came downstairs to get something to eat” I answered him focusing most of my energy on keeping a blush from dusting my cheeks. “I brought you back some of those macaroons you like so much” he said handing me a black box with a window and a cute pink bow wrapped around the center. It was from a sweet shop on the other side of town that I had visited as many times as I could in the week that I had been recovered enough to go on runs. Jimin made it a point, during every run he and I went on (which was most) to stop off by the shop and get me some. Today, I hadn’t been feeling well enough to accompany him, so he’d gone with a few of the guys.

 A wide grin crossed my face as I turned around into the warm embrace of his arms and gave him a tight hug. He was far too good to me. “Thank you!” I exclaimed raising up on my tippy-toes to place a kiss on his cheek bone. “I will get you whatever you want, whenever you want it, baby girl. All you have to do is ask” he replied sweetly placing a kiss of his own on my forehead. I broke the hug with him as I became more conscious of the others in the room.

 “She should probably eat some real food before she eats those. She hasn’t been up long and I haven’t seen her eat anything all day” Jin suggested rising from where he was sitting on the couch. “Why don’t you two catch up upstairs and I’ll make her something to eat with some leftover deer meat we had from the last hunt. Sound good?” Jin directed at me. I nodded. It sounded delicious! Jin’s cooking was the absolute best.

 “Don’t have to tell me twice” Jimin remarked as he quickly pulled me into him. He hooked one leg under my legs and placed the other at my back before lifting me effortlessly off of the kitchen floor. I squealed in surprise and he looked down at me with a mischievous smile on his face. He quickly headed for the stairs and reached the top of them in no time. Once we were at the threshold of our bedroom door, he playfully launched me from the door to the bed on the other side of the room, a testament to his sheer physical strength. He quickly followed me to the bed and had my head laying on top of his chest in a matter of moments.

 I cuddled into his chest feeling safer than I probably ever had in the entirety of my life. It was this comforting notion of safety that brought the words to my lips. “Jimin, I have something to tell you” I led. He made a low “hmm” sound acknowledging that he had heard me. “It is pretty big news. Promise me that if you want to react negatively, you’ll suppress it until I’m out of earshot?” I propositioned in a moment of self-doubt. The ghosts of the past may have been suppressed but they were not entirely forgotten. Doubt had a bad habit of springing up on me when I needed it least.

 “If the news is from your lips, how could it ever be bad? Everything you say is practically dripping with honey” Jimin responded. “Stop joking around and being so cringey” I said with a small laugh as I lightly pushed his chest. The truth was, cringey was my favorite setting of his. It was always nice to hear him confirm that we were in the same place emotionally out loud. It reaffirmed his feelings for me because of its sheer sincerity. It was nice not having to guess all the time.

 The room fell silent for a moment while I worked up the courage to tell Jimin about the surprise inside of me. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. On the contrary, it was probably one of the most comfortable I had ever been in. As I listened to the sound of his breathing, a calm washed over me. I would just tell him. Everything would be okay.

 “Jimin, I’m pregnant” I blurted out as fast as I could, afraid I’d chicken out if I took it slow. The shock registered on his face for just a second before he rose from the bed at lightning speed. The brightest smile flashed on his face. “You’re serious? You aren’t joking? Are you sure?” he shot out a lightning round of questions. “Yes. No. And Yes”, I responded trying my hardest to keep up as a smile of my own began to creep on my face. “Oh my god. I’m going to be a dad!” he said as he lifted me up from the bed and held me up in the air with his arms. “I love you” he added with such sincerity and feeling that my heart swelled and tears began to form in my eyes.

 He brought me into his chest and I wrapped my legs as tight as I could around his torso, locking my arms around his neck. “I love you too” I whispered softly into his ear as I began to quietly sob. No one had ever looked at me like that. No one had ever told me they loved me like that. No one had ever treated me as softly as Jimin. I knew in this instant that I had fallen for him so completely that there would never be any going back.

 I continued to cling to him as the tears continued to fall. I had never cried because of happiness before and the feeling was strange but freeing at the same time. “It’s mine, right?” Jimin asked chuckling a little afterward indicating that he was joking. Not totally trusting my voice, I nodded into the crook of his neck. “Good, I didn’t want to have to kill anyone today” he said attempting to bring the mood back to a sort of normal. Emotions had been running at a happy high for some time, but they mostly inhibited the ability to have a conversation on the matter. It was time to talk about it in detail.

 Jimin set me down gently on the bed so I was sitting facing him. “How long now have you known?” he asked. “You’re going to laugh” I said averting my eyes. “I promise I won’t” he reassured me. “Like maybe an hour ago. Namjoon told me” I responded unable to contain my own laughter as a few laughs audibly emerged despite my trying to suppress them. “How did he know?” Jimin asked, clearly a little less informed than Namjoon. This was fairly predictable as Namjoon was the resident Einstein.

 “He said that he picked up on the smell floating around the house” I answered. “THAT’S WHAT THAT WAS?!” Jimin yelled in excited disbelief. Pressing my finger gently to my ear to stop the ringing his yell had started, I nodded lightly. “I knew I smelt something new and slightly off in the apartment. Also explains why it was so intoxicating” he said with an obnoxious raise of his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes in response.

 “Boy or girl?” Jimin asked. “I’m sure it is far too early to tell. Though, Namjoon would probably be able to tell you more than I would” I said with a slight shrug of my shoulders. “Funny how he knows all of that stuff, huh?” Jimin remarked. “I mean, wouldn’t we all be totally lost without it?” I added. Namjoon was an amazing alpha and he did not often get the depth of recognition that he deserved. “Yeah, he’s pretty great” Jimin said with a smile as he joined me sitting on the bed.

 It was time to talk about the slightly harder stuff. I wanted to know what this meant for his career. He had so much that he stood to lose. “So, what are you going to do?” I asked him. “About what? Namjoon?” he asked confused as if any further thought on the matter had yet to cross his mind. “What are you doing about the baby? I mean, you’ve got an amazing career and future laid out before you. Couldn’t this baby potentially hold you back?” I asked feeling the familiar monster of doubt prod me in the side.

 “I swear, you come up with the funniest things when you get in that head of yours. I love what I do. That’s incredibly true. But I love you so much more than all the fame and money and what not. Will I miss the fans? Absolutely! The true fans won’t hate me for putting my family first and my happiness first. I think there is some really old cliché that goes: Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. Besides, being a werewolf in the media industry has an expiration date. No matter how careful we are” Jimin reassured me. “And please. Holding me back? You have brought me up so many levels” he added quickly.

 “So, you’ll stick by me then?” I asked giving him just one more chance to back out before I hitched myself to him for the rest of my life. “It would be my absolute honor. Don’t get it twisted, I’m the on tying you down” Jimin said bringing his face closer to mine. He swept my hair to my right shoulder and scooted back on the bed a little. It took me a second to realize what he was doing as he placed a kiss to the back of the base of my neck, where his mark was. I smiled as my heart swelled again for the billionth time that day.

 No one had ever treated me that tender. His tenderness was something that I had not only come to crave, but was sure that I now needed to function. He was so soft with me despite the anger and ferocity I had seen him capable of unleashing. A textbook depiction of the duality of man (or wolf).

 And then I felt the words bubbling at my lips. Unfamiliar words to me, but still quite powerful in their force. They pushed forcefully against my lips until I had to bite my bottom lip to suppress them. Jimin must have noticed my struggle as he raised an eyebrow at me. “Everything okay?” he asked, concern creeping into his voice. His concern broke the dam of my lips.

 “I love you so much,” though he may have uttered these same words countless times to me, this was one of the few times in which I had given him these words first. Every ounce of me meant them. My soul was bared to him in those five words. I was wholly vulnerable, in a way that I never much cared to be in the past. With Jimin though, I just didn’t care anymore. He could do whatever he wanted with me heart, body, and soul. It was impossible for me to live without him, so even if he misused me (though I was sure he could not), it would still be better than living a life not by his side.

 Jimin looked taken aback by the sheer emotion and honesty in my words. It was not long before his usual beautiful smile graced his face. “I love you too baby girl,” he said pulling me in for a tight hug. My eyes stung with happy tears. I was in love with this wonderful individual. I was creating a family with this man that I loved. My life was filled in way that it never had been.

 “So, do you want a boy or girl?” he whispered lightly into my ear bringing back an earlier, happier part of the conversation. His whisper tickled the hairs of my neck and ear. “Honestly?” I asked pulling out of the hug a bit to look him in his eyes. He gave me a small nod in response. “I don’t know that I want it to be a boy. The men in my family haven’t exactly been the greatest of individuals. Both my brother and dad were always cold and distant. My brother turned into a psychotic murdered who took pleasure in using me as a pawn. So, I’m scared that if it’s a boy, it’ll be like my brother” I admitted averting my eyes from Jimin’s, still pretty ashamed of my lineage.

 I felt a pressure under my chin as Jimin used his index finger to again raise my eye-level to his. “Fuck everyone from your past. You’re its mother. It will be loved and taken care of. I refuse to believe that your nature is inherently evil. So, in the nature vs nurture argument, our child is hampered in neither. I will be here very step of the way. You are not alone at all,” he said placing a light kiss of my forehead. I closed my eyes and let myself sink into it for a second.

 Sure, my family was evil, but Jimin was pure goodness. His light would overpower any darkness that my genes might be bringing to the table. “I wouldn’t mind having a boy if he could grow up as kind and handsome as his father,” I said slightly blushing myself as Jimin’s face dusted its own shade of pink. “A boy would be great. I could show him all the ropes to hunting, courting, and just life in general. I think a girl would also be pretty great, but I have two conditions,” he said with a slight smile.

 “What might those be?” I asked, curious as to what his apprehensions might be. “Well, she absolutely has to be as gorgeous as you. As smart and resilient as you too,” Jimin started, causing me to blush and avoid his intense eye contact. “She’s also not allowed to date ever. I would definitely not be able to handle that. Too protective over the women in my life,” Jimin added with a slight chuckle.

 “I appreciate the sentiment. I’m sure she does too. She will always know that she has someone there for her. But, I definitely think that she should make that decision for herself. If you’d let your son date, you’ve gotta let your daughter date too. I’ve always hated that double standard in pack life,” I replied in a moment of boldness

 “You are so incredible,” Jimin said bringing his face closer to mine. Our eyes locked and a heat grew between us. “I have got to kiss you,” Jimin said bringing his lips to mine. I was transported, as always, to a literal heaven on Earth when his lips meant mine. They were so soft, so deft, so experienced. I was about to let myself become completely consumed by there wonderland when I heard Jin calling from downstairs.

 “Food is ready. Get your cute, pregnant ass down here,” I heard him say and I smiled into the kiss Jimin and I were sharing. I broke away a few seconds after. “You heard the man. Get your cute little ass moving,” Jimin said as I began to rise from the bed. He gave my ass a nice slap, a promise of the things that could come later. We both hurried downstairs to eat. He for himself and mine for two.

[thisbiasedlife]

A New Livelihood (Werewolf! Jimin x Werewolf! Reader) Chapter 5

Note: Hello everyone! I am back after, well, a pretty long time. A lot of things have happened, I’ve lost people, I’ve been navigating college, and I’ve just been trying to bring it all together. In honor of the new year, a new chapter! Here’s to hoping that 2019 treats us all very well and I can keep some consistent updates going for this story, Firewall Down, and maybe even get out some other stories that I’ve thought up. Please enjoy!

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Some Fluff, a lot of Angst

Rating: This one is pretty PG, maybe PG-13

Warnings: None

Characters: Aera (Reader), BTS, and Jung (Reader’s brother; only mentioned here), and Castor (read to find out)

Word Count: 3,837 words

Summary:  Aera (or really Y/N) belongs to a pack of more traditional werewolf values led by her brother, Jung (or really Y/B/N). The very brother that murdered their parents in cold blood solely for the purpose of ascending to the position of Alpha. With her tyrant brother in control, Aera (or Y/N) is forced into a mating ritual with a rival pack in order to cement their alliance with her own pack. Things take a turn for confusing when this forced ceremony turns out to be far from forced. Aera (Y/N) must learn to adapt to an entirely different lifestyle, one that stands in drastic contrast from her own, while simultaneously navigating the confusing and passionate nature that is the mating bond.

Regret didn't even begin to describe what I was feeling. I had distanced myself and made myself vulnerable all because of my own vanity. I hadn't known they'd be prowling these woods. If I had been paying more attention like I should have, I would have noticed the shifting scents carried by the wind. The ominous and unwelcoming auras exuded by each of them. Rogues, but I had noticed them too late.

A wolf crashed into me from my right side, pinning me to the ground. It took me by great surprise. I struggled against its grip as its scent consumed the air around me. Not just any old rogue, a rogue from a pack rival to my old one.

"Hey there pretty lady," his voice rang in my head rather than aloud, the only way werewolves could communicate outside of howls when in their wolf forms. I realized very quickly that I had run into just a little bit more than your average bad luck. I was completely drained of energy. I had no energy to shift into my wolf form to protect myself from this rogue and it would be impossible to adequately protect myself in my human form.

"Scared little one? Do you remember me?" the wolf projected into my head. Shit, I was projecting pheromones. If he could smell them, then surely the pack would be here soon? Even so, the fact that I was projecting fear pheromones gave away at least a little of my vulnerability. Then, a second wave of fear hit me as I finally placed the voice.

"Castor?!" I exclaimed aloud. The wolf snarled. "The one and only," rang in my head. As if the situation wasn't already bad enough, this complicated matters further. I had had a hand in killing every single one of Castor's family members at the orders of my brother. Hell, I'd been forced to lead the charge. Even though I was consistently about self-preservation, I could not blame this man for taking my life even if he drug it out. I'd tortured his family before I'd killed them for the sake of appearing fierce and strong in front of a pack that constantly questioned if I was strong enough to walk among them.

"You aren't fighting back. You had way more spunk than this when you killed my family," he projected bending his wolven face down to my very human one. He sniffed the air around me and his eyes temporarily flashed blue. "I see. You've gone and gotten claimed. This scent that's all over you is different from your original pack though. Did your brother finally write you off for the shrimp that you are?" he joked amusedly. I was scared. I was angry. But, I probably deserved this and more. My heinous acts had come back to haunt me. If I were him, I would have already killed me. I was grateful that at the very least Bangtan couldn't hear Castor's projections. It was a closed conversation between he and I taking place, for the most part, within my conscious.

I knew I shouldn't cave to my anger, but I was fairly certain that this was actually the end. It was fitting. Castor would rip my head off before Bangtan even got here. It's not like he lacked justification. If I was to die this way, I was going to speak my mind before my head was ripped off.

"Shrimp? I remember being strong enough to kill your entire family without breaking a sweat. Right after they told me everything that I needed to know. As I recall, I played a part in leaving your pack in ruins," I goaded him within my conscious. If he was going to kill me, I wanted him to hurry up with it. I could not fight back and I was tired of being at his mercy. "You bitch," he seemed to try to growl out before opening his mouth and chomping down on my right shoulder. I screamed out in pain just as my new pack arrived all in wolf form.

I could recognize only Namjoon and Jimin. Namjoon because his eyes glowed red even in wolf form. Jimin because he lunged at the wolf on top of me before Namjoon could give any orders. I lay there bleeding, every bone in my body screaming that I needed to get up and help Jimin. I would never forgive myself if he died protecting me from my own sins. Castor did not fight cleanly and Jimin would certainly have to fight dirty to win.

I could not lift myself even an inch from the ground and tears fell from my eyes in my immense frustration. A wolf stood over me again. The eyes of this one appeared far kinder. "It's going to be okay. We've got you," Jin's voice projected into the consciousness of the entire pack, but specifically directed at me. I was lifted from the ground as another of the pack members worked their muzzle in between me and the ground and carefully lifted me onto Jin's back. I cried out in pain again. "No! I can't leave Jimin," I cried out into the woods unable to project anymore. "Don't worry. Taehyung and Jungkook flew into the fight. That wolf doesn't have much longer. Let Jin, J-Hope, and myself take you back to the house while Namjoon and the others wrap up here," Yoongi commanded eliciting the authority of the Beta. I had no choice but to accept his command as I slowly lost consciousness from the gaping wound of my shoulder.

I woke to immense pain. I was lying in Jimin's bed. I tried turning my head only to find that it shot pain down into my shoulder. With the limited range of rotation of my neck, I looked around the room to see if Jimin was anywhere in sight. I couldn't tell so opted to sniff out the room to see if I could detect his scent. I turned up short save for some traces indicating he'd been in the room maybe about an hour ago. I was alone in the room. I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

Another sniff of the air indicated that all seven of the boys must have been somewhere downstairs. The smells were faint but seemed to congregate there. I felt the need to check on them because my mistake had caused all this. Although, I remained conflicted on the prospect of going down to see all of them. If any of them were hurt, I knew I would blame myself for being negligent. I didn't deserve them coming to my aid like that. They were more than I deserved. Maybe, all this time, my brother had been right about who I was. Useless scum that only brought despair. Did I have the capacity to be good? To do good? How could I when I had been the reason my own mother died?

I sat up in the bed, despite the pain that wracked through me. I turned my head quickly, ripping the bandaid off as they say, to look at the shoulder that Castor had mercilessly bitten into. The straps of the tank top and sports bra I had been wearing were torn away for access to the shoulder, like someone had been drastically, frantically trying to get there. I felt naked in some way as it hung limply under my arm. The shoulder was heavily bandaged with the bandages looking as if they hadn't been replaced all that long ago. Not a spot of blood visible among the white. Had it been Jimin?

"I thought I smelt some stress hormones. Feeling better?" I heard Namjoon speak from the threshold of the door. My eyes shot up to meet his as I quickly covered myself with the sheets I had been laying under. I heard Namjoon chuckle a little to himself, but other than that, he didn't seem to react at all. I took in the sight before me only for it to become quickly apparent that Namjoon didn't have a scratch on him. I let out a small sigh. 1 out of 4 was okay. Maybe I wouldn't have to live with knowing that I had hurt people that had accepted me when I had nothing.

"How is Jimin? Taehyung? Jungkook?" I asked my voice just barely above a whisper. Namjoon heard me, undoubtedly as being a werewolf tended to mean that you heard everything. He remained silent for a few moments before speaking. "They're fine. Jimin got the worst of it and that was just a couple cuts and bruises. The man really just can't control his anger. We always joke that he's the scariest when angry because he's usually pretty soft in how he treats others. I can't say the same for your attack-happy friend. He's dead and got to see the worst sides of Jimin," Namjoon answered as he continued to casually lean on the door frame.

I let out a loud sign of relief. I hadn't realized I'd been holding my breath. "Where is he?" I asked worried he might be angry at me and not want to see me. I wanted to apologize to him for being so careless, for getting him hurt.

"He was with you almost the entire time you were unconscious. For 24 hours, he wouldn't leave your side. He wouldn't eat, he wouldn't drink, he wouldn't sleep. He just worried, and worried, and worried. He wouldn't let anyone else in here. Wouldn't let anyone else change your bandages after Jin got done working his magic on your shoulder. Paced back and forth until I thought he was going to wear a hole into the floor. So, I ordered him to come downstairs and stay there until I told him he could come back up. It's one of the only times he's ever tried to disobey a direct order," Namjoon answered.

My heart broke for Jimin. I had been out 24 hours?! How could I let myself put him through that? "Listen, I can hear what you're thinking. No matter how you roll the dice, this isn't your fault. Jungkook told me you could block mind reading and control projecting, but, thankfully for me, you seem too shocked to be doing that right now," he spoke into the silence.

What bothered me about that bit of information wasn't that Namjoon had been reading my mind. I was troubled that he'd been honest about it, forthcoming with the details. "I'll go down and tell him you're awake and that he can come back up," he said as he fixed himself upright where he'd been leaning on the doorframe. As he turned to go, he spoke again, "I'm really glad you're okay and all. Don't ever scare us like that again. That's an order," he said with his back to me as he walked away from the room and downstairs. The pull of the alpha wasn't there, but somehow that made it only that much more impossible for me not to follow it. The authority of that command was from somewhere beyond an alpha. It came from something different, something foreign to me. Something I couldn't quite place.

I heard heavy footsteps as someone quickly bounded up the stairs. Jimin came rushing into the room, stopping abruptly at the door frame, where Namjoon had been just seconds earlier. He paused taking in my frame. Tears began to form in his eyes. "You're okay," he breathed out in relief as he finally crossed the rest of the distance between us. He took me into his arms not all that gently. I mean, he tried, but his eagerness won out. I tried to fight a yelp of pain, but it erupted from me despite my efforts. He threw his body from me in an instant, very clearly not in favor of hurting me in the slightest.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized looking like a kicked puppy. "I was just so glad to see your beautiful eyes again. The guys say I'm dramatic for this, but I really thought I wouldn't ever see them again. You lost so much blood. Jin had to work on that shoulder with all manner of instruments for a long time. He kept talking about a lot of muscle and tissue damage and I--" he rambled on in his excitement before I cut him off by calling his name very loudly.

"Jimin! I'm okay. Just a little banged up," I assured him. He closed his mouth and nodded approaching me on the bed again. He bent down to me and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes and let myself take in the incredibly comforting nature of this action. As much as I wanted to stay like this until the literal end of time, I needed to check up on him. It took all of my will to shift in a way that wouldn't cause me too much pain, but would also relay to him that, as much as I hadn't wanted it to, the moment had passed.

"Jimin, are you okay?" I asked him as he rose to his full height. "Yeah. I'm okay. Werewolf healing and all," he said with a smile. Even so, I looked him over to find that he, indeed, had not a single mark left on him from his encounter with Castor. For the second time since being awake, I let out a breath that I hadn’t known I’d been holding in.

“I can’t say the same for your friend though. No amount of healing is going to save the shreds I left his corpse in,” Jimin remarked through gritted teeth, his eyes temporarily flashing blue. Such a feral color that blue. For just a second, I saw the less kinder side of Jimin. The anger, the hate. It was enough to make me shiver despite the wave of pain it sent through my injured body.

“So, what’s with the slower healing? It still feels like there is a gaping hole in my shoulder,” I asked Jimin, who had just been pulled from his feral stare at the sound of my voice. “That puzzled Jin for a little. Namjoon was the one that finally figured it out. You know how even among werewolves, there are those of us that have special abilities? Like you’re able to block mind reading and control projection,” Jimin answered.

I went rigid for a second at his outright acknowledgement of my abilities. “Namjoon told everyone. He even mentioned that he was pretty sure you have a few other abilities you haven’t mentioned to us just yet either. Something about ‘adversity bringing certain characteristics out of people and you having encountered a lot of it’. Don’t worry though. You’ll have time to tell us at your own pace. Just like you’ll have time to tell us why that guy was trying to kill you,” Jimin said leaning himself up against the same doorway Namjoon had just been propped up against not long ago. I suppressed a giggle. They truly were a pack, not just in name.

“Anyway, apparently Jin found some sort of weird venom in the guy’s saliva that reduces our healing rate pretty significantly. He was able to get a lot of it out of your shoulder, but admitted that he wasn’t able to totally get it all out. He guesses it’ll be about a week before you’re good to go, back to your usual self. About two times what it would usually take for this kind of injury,” Jimin continued, finally answering my original question.

“Just my luck, huh?” I started. Jimin nodded in response. He very clearly wasn’t happy with this new situation I had found myself in, but who would be? Especially when he knew nothing about why it had happened. Most of me felt that he had every reason to know about Castor and the horrible things that I had done. Still, a little, selfish part of me never wanted to Jimin to hear about any of the pain that I had inflicted on others. He accepted me so openly now, why give him a reason to reject me? If this pack threw me out on my ass, and they very well could as mating played a lesser role to the safety of the whole pack, I would have nowhere to go. Castor was only one of many and my old pack was not exactly fond of me either. I would be an Omega. A lone wolf without a place to call home. I had heard a very famous saying from a popular TV show in recent years: “The lone wolf dies, but the pack survives”. A very solid truth in its own right, even if it was of human media. Still, the “angel” on my shoulder continued to nag. I could have no internal peace if I didn’t say something. Only internal guilt. I had been through a lot in my life. Relative isolation had been most of my life after my mother had passed, would it really be all that different being truly physically, mentally, and emotionally alone? Hiding the truth was already making me feel mentally and emotionally isolated as it were.

“Jimin,” I spoke out into the silence which the room had fallen into. “Hmm?” he answered with a low groan of his throat. “That wolf, I-I…..I killed his family on the orders of my brother,” I said as my head sunk into my hands. I could not believe that I had felt compelled to tell the truth. What had come over me?! Never had I admitted out loud the horrors that I felt guiltiest for. Yet, the thought of Jimin being in the dark about it bothered me more than the admission of my guilt.

Jimin remained poised despite the shocking confession. The only indication I had that he had heard me was the slight nod of his head. “I figured as much. He was quite angry and mentioned something about you taking everything from him. May I ask why?” Jimin questioned. “My brother saw Castor’s pack as a big threat. He’s pretty into power plays. It was such a power play to him to do every unimaginable thing to Castor’s family all while Castor had to watch helplessly. The entire while, I suggested that we just kill Castor. He was the threat. Why involve anyone else? My brother insisted that I was only to remain a strong member within the pack if I could prove my allegiance by “handling such a matter”. He told me what pain to inflict and how far to take it and I had to listen. I had to listen or lose my place in literally the only family that I had ever known, no matter how fucked up it was,” I answered Jimin somewhat longwindedly.

Torturing Castor’s family had not been of my own creation. The creative ways in which I was made to cause them pain were not of my creation, but I was the ugly vehicle by which they were administered. Just that was enough to write me off forever as a moral-lacking, sociopathic, cold-blooded killer, completely unworthy of redemption.

“We all do unspeakable things to preserve ourselves. The supernatural world is a pretty cruel one, no matter how much human movies and television like to think it dark and sexy. There is one quote that I am rather fond of when I think about some of the bad that I have had to commit: ‘Who we are and who we need to be to survive are two very different things’. Did you want to do what you did?” Jimin asked earnestly. “No,” I answered honestly. “Then, you were being the you that you needed to be to survive. I don’t think that’s the real you and I’m not going to judge you for it. We all have a past that we wanna slay. I like to think I’m more forward-looking,” Jimin finished with a smile.

A smile crossed my face as a warmth seemed to take over me. He accepted me, with all of my demons. He accepted me with all of my heavy baggage. He accepted the darkest parts of me. I felt so indebted to him, but I was sure that if I said anything along those lines, he would say that he was only doing his duty as my mate. Not true. He could abandon me, leave me and my horrible past to fend for ourselves. There was a procedure for breaking the bond, painful to only the one that did not desire it broken. Yet, I could confidently say that the thought had not once crossed his mind. I knew Jimin would not tell the others and I did not want to have to explain it a second time, so I had broadcasted all of my end of the conversation to the others via the mind connection of the pack. Now, they all knew. Would it change my relationships with the rest of the pack? Especially given that they had not been made privy to Jimin’s response? What would Namjoon say? Would he let me stay? What would happen to the progress I had made in my growing friendship with Jungkook and Taehyung? The only way that I could figure out the answer to all these questions would be to take my injured frame downstairs to meet with the rest of my pack. After all, I could only call them my pack if they knew that I was ready and willing to be one-hundred percent honest with them and let them in.

“Jimin?” I spoke, again breaking the silence of the room. “Could you help me downstairs?” I asked him, my voice full of a certain resolve. “Sure, but only if you give me a kiss first,” he said with a flirtatious smirk. A small giggle emerged from my throat before I could suppress it. I nodded and he walked over to me where I still lay in the bed. He walked to my bed and placed his toned arms on either side of my head. His muscles tensed as he leaned down, allowing his lips to meet mine. Gently, he kissed me, probably afraid that if he was too rough, I would break. In this moment, I had no fear, only certainty of that which I had to do. Jimin pulled away and smiled down at me, something very alluring held just behind his eyes. He quickly, but gently, scooped me up bridal-style from where I lay and started walking toward the door. A past me would have stopped him at the threshold, but a new-found courage kept me silent as we cleared the threshold of the doorway and headed for the stairs. After all, how could I bound into a beautiful future with Jimin if I was too busy staring into my past?