#andy can sleep sitting straight up if she wants

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unexpected 50

Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, pegging, Lloyd being the worst, post partum, csection, suicidial ideation, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

Your promise to Lloyd is empty. You have no great urge to see Andy again. You’re embarrassed at the thought. Even a bit guilty as you accept that any sliver of excitement he brought to you has flown away. The return of your husband drags you back down to earth in the most desolating way.

You swipe away another notification. You don’t know how to reply to Andy. It doesn’t seem right to tell him over a text. Still, you can’t bring yourself to face him. Your last two conversations haven’t been exactly productive. How many times can you tell him this was never meant to be anything more than sex?

That’s when you feel rotten. You used him the same way you’ve been used. Just a release, a thing to make you feel better about yourself. Worse, he’s a widower. He’s lost so much already and now you’re toying with him. That’s hardly fair.

You sit with Luna on the floor. Getting down there was hard enough and you don’t want to ponder how you’ll get back up. She lays on her mat, raising her head to look around. She’s still needy but you see her changing. Maybe she sees the same in you with how she stares at you.

There’s a knock at the door. You brace yourself. You already know it isn’t Lloyd, he would just barge in. You know he hasn’t changed at all. Luna’s head bobbles as she tries to look around and you call for whoever it is to enter.

“Hey, we goin’ on that walk?” Harlen asks as he enters, already half-dressed for the dipping temperature. You notice the metallic red thermos in his hand, “I was hopin’ to get out.” He present the capped container, “got us some hot chocolate even.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet,” you make yourself smile, “yeah, that might be a good idea.”

“Here, let me help,” he sets the thermos down and crosses the room, offering his hand to haul you up.

“Go on, get ready,” he bids as he grunts, bending to pick up Luna from the floor, “oh, she gettin’ heavy.” He stands straight, “I need the workout anyhow.”

“I have a suit for her. Thermal,” you explain as you search the dresser against the nursery wall. The last few nights you’ve spent sleeping in the glider chair, your own fortress in a castle not your own.

“You let me worry about that,” he nears, rocking Luna in one arm as he takes the insulated outfit from you, “go get something warm on. You gotta take care of you too.”

You look at him. You nod. He’s the only man you can’t bring yourself to argue with, maybe because he’s the only one who’s ever really cared. You love that about him but it makes you think of your own dad and how he would rather his flask than to spend a single birthday with you.

“Right,” you surrender, “I won’t be long.”

You leave the nursery and head down to the guest room. The door is already unclasped but you don’t think much of it until you enter. You find Lloyd sat on the foot of the bed with the little crescent moon toy Luna likes so much. His eyes flick up as you sigh.

You ignore him and go to the closet. You take out an old sweatshirt and dig out some jeans from a drawer. You feel him watching you. You hear him get up and come closer as you take out a pair of wool socks.

“Gonna be Christmas soon enough…” he says.

“Oh shut up,” you snarl.

It’s his turn to sigh. He angles around to stand beside you, facing you, and puts the toy on the dresser. You walk away from him and he follows you towards the bathroom door. The very idea of him seeing how he ravaged your body, the stretchmarks and the loose skin, repulses you. You won’t give him that victory.

As you try to close the door in his face, he forces his foot between it and the frame, “you have to talk to me eventually. She’s my daughter. I have a legal right–”

“Why did you come back? I know it’s not because of her,” you lean on the door. He’s just as strong as ever. If he really wanted to, he could overpower you.

“You,” he says. “I was always going to come back–”

“No, no, no. Lloyd, enough lies. It’s over. You know that. Whatever made you want me, I’m not it anymore. So whoever you were out fucking, go back to them. You won’t get anything from me.”

“I didn’t–”

“Fuck. Off.”

You stomp his toe and he recoils. You take the opportunity to slam the door and flip the lock into place. You keep your hand on the door and catch your breath. You hear him on the other side, lingering, the friction of his touch dragging down the other side.

“Peaches…” he says.

You scoff and push away. You go to the counter and put down the armful of clothes. You look at yourself in the mirror. You don’t even feel bad for yourself, you feel worse that Luna has to call someone like him a father.

🍑

You meet Harlan downstairs. He has Luna bundled up and helps you get her strapped into the baby carrier that hooks over your shoulders. It’s much easier than the stroller, if not a bit of a strain on your back.

He tucks the thermos into the large pocket of his coat and opens the door for you. He trails you outside into the brisk air of late autumn. The chill nips at your cheeks and nose as you adjust Luna’s hood to make sure she’s cozy.

“Thanksgiving soon. Dot was talkin’ bout it,” he says as you walk down the long driveway, “she talkin’ a lot lately. Driving me a bit crazy.”

“Oh,” you raise your brows dully. You haven’t said much to her. You resent her for all those weeks of sticking up for her son and her tune hasn’t changed, “yeah, maybe… get a turkey.”

“Ha, come on, what are we gon’ do? Sit down for a family dinner? She just wants peace but she won’t acknowledge the battle,” he puffs as he takes out the thermos and untwists the cap. “Here?”

He offers you a drink first. You stop awkwardly to sip from the brim and thank him. He takes a gulp of his own and hums.

“Not too bad,” he comments, “was of a mind to add some whiskey but we’ll save that for later.”

You chuckle and shake your head. You set off down the sidewalk, keeping a hand on the bottom of the carrier as you make slow progress. It’s the sort of cold that wakes you up. It reminds you of the day you met Lloyd and you scowl. A year. More than.

As you come to the end of the street, someone turns the corner. You don’t pretend to be surprised as Andy approaches. He wears a navy cap, his hair poking out from the hem, and his cheeks are rosy above his thick beard. He smiles as he nears, even as his eye twitches.

“Morning,” he greets brightly, “how’s little Luna?”

You slow as he glances at the baby in her harness. You sway with her as she babbles.

“She’s good,” you answer as Harlan clears his throat. You sniff as you try to roll the tension out of your shoulders, “oh, Andy, this is my… dad, Harlan. Harlan, Andy. The neighbour.”

“Sir,” Andy smiles and offers his hand, “nice to meet you. You must be so proud of your daughter. And granddaughter. A beautiful pair, huh?”

“Beaming,” Harlan shakes his hand gruffly, “couldn’t ask for anything better.”

“Well, uh, I was actually gonna pop in. I found some more baby stuff and thought maybe you could use it,” Andy rescinds his hand, tucking it in his jacket pocket. “I could watch Luna if you want. Give you some time off.”

“Oh, Andy, that’s sweet but… I got all the help I need,” you peek over at Harlan. “I appreciate everything but I hate to take advantage of your kindness.”

“It’s no problem. Really. I don’t mind,” Andy insists, only girding himself as his eyes flit to Harlan and he squares his shoulder, “just putting it out there.”

“I’ll… I’ll keep you in mind,” you utter awkwardly.

Harlan’s silent. You don’t have the courage to look at him. You can feel the tension radiating off of him. He’s shielded in that cool stoicism that once made you feel so small.

“Well, you know my number,” Andy shrugs, “I’m sure you can figure out how to reply to my texts,” he steps forward, gazing at Luna as he coos, surprising you as he bends to kiss the top of her head, “buh bye, Luna.” He grins, his eyes meeting yours as he stands at his full height, “pretty, just like mommy.” He nods and looks past you to Harlan, “try to stay warm out here.”

Andy struts past as you step aside. You hesitate before you continue on, quiet as Harlan lets a hum roll up his throat. He clucks and cranes to peer over his shoulder.

“That’s him?” He asks. You can only nod, staring down in shame. “Ah, well… you keep space from him… for yourself. Man’s got something ‘bout him…. Something off.”

“I… I’ve been ignoring him so…”

“No, no,” Harlan intones, “no, ain’t nothing ‘bout you.”

You stroll on, the uneasiness in his timbre crawling over you in goosebumps. You look down at Luna and run your hand up the back of the carrier, embracing her a little closer. Andy could be a little overbearing but he’s harmless, right?

[lambsouvlaki]

His Heart (Dad!Jason AU)

Character: Jason Todd x civilian! Fem!oc

Rating and Warnings: G, no warnings, besides sappiness.

Word Count: 1,390

Summary: Jason comes back from a years long mission in space, and finds out he's a dad.

Masterlist

Jason stepped into the JLA Watchtower. Earth glowed, vast, blue, and beautiful, through the giant windows. It had been almost two years since he saw it. Dorothy knew what she was on about, there really was no place like home.

He was so sick of sleeping alone in his bunk. Andy had just moved into his apartment when he got swept away, and it had just started to feel really right. 

Dick stood in the otherwise empty airlock in civvies. The furrow on his forehead was a little deeper than it had been last time, but his smile was just as wide and genuine. 

He stepped forward and wrapped Jason up in a hug. Jason hugged his brother back, far beyond pretending at coldness. Space was cold enough, and the two years on the front lines had taken their toll on him. 

“I wasn’t expecting a welcome party,” he said as they pulled back. 

“What were you expecting?”

“I dunno,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. “Maybe a giant spray painted sign saying ‘And don’t come back!’”

Dick laughed. “Sure, if we wanted to see how long it’d take you to break into the tower.”

“Three minutes.”

“Well, you’re tired, we wouldn’t hold it against you.”

Jason scoffed. “I missed you, you asshole.” 

Dick flashed his winning smile. “So now what? I only saw your arrival by chance. Do you have plans?”

“Not really. I’ll probably slink home, see if it's still standing. See if Andy still… wants anything to do with me.” 

Dick blinked, his expression going blank. 

Jason’s heart clenched. Was there just an empty apartment waiting for him with a note that had been collecting dust for eighteen months? It would be exactly what he deserved, he thought with a bitter twist of his lips. 

“I guess I’ll settle in for a couple of days then go find her,” he said. Maybe just messaging her would be kinder? No, he was going to look her in the eye, even if it was just to say goodbye. 

“Don’t do that,” Dick said. He touched Jason’s shoulders urgently. “Go straight to her. I’ll take you, we’re going now. She deserves that much.” He turned and hurried through the hallways towards the zeta tubes. 

“Whoa, what? What are you talking about?” Jason caught up to him, grabbed his arm and dragged him back to a halt. “What’s happened?”

“Look, it’s not really my place to say.”

“You’re freaking me out, Dick,” he growled. “What, is she dying?” 

“No! No, Jason, she… she’s had a baby. Your baby.” 

For a moment the world stopped. The rotation of the vast planet out the window surely halted, same as the beat of his heart. 

“What?” Jason rasped. 

“Sophie. She turned one a few months back.” 

“She’s my–? Oh. Oh fuck.” 

The world rebooted, spinning anew but the axis had moved. Jason leaned hard against the wall. “Sophie,” he whispered. 

Dick patted him on the shoulder. “Congratulations, by the way. For a year ago.”

Jason laughed, frantic and broken. 

“Do you need a moment?” Dick offered. “We can go sit and–”

“No.” Jason pulled himself up. He marched towards the zeta tubes. “We’re going now. Straight to Andy and my– my daughter. Is she… how is she? Are they okay? Did the family help out?”

“Of course, Jay. That little girl has a whole circus’ worth of aunts and uncles who love her to bits. And a doting grandfather and great grandfather who spoil her rotten.” 

He hung his head as they reached the platform. “I should have been there. I should have been there. What kind of deadbeat am I?”

“Save that for Andy.” 

“Yeah.” 

---

They drove from the manor to the apartment by the river overlooking the Narrows. It was the same one he and Andy had shared for that halcyon four months before duty came calling. 

Dick dropped him off downstairs, saying he didn’t want to intrude but demanded Jason call him when he was settled in to plan some kind of family night. Jason didn’t hear a word of it. 

He made it to the apartment door without registering any of it. He dropped his bag of gear. 

He knocked. 

“Coming!” Andy’s voice called. Faint music was drifting out through the walls, something upbeat and light. The door opened, letting in noonday light to the dark hallway, shining around a smiling Andy. She was in loose workout clothes that were stained on the shoulders. She wore no makeup and her hair was up in a bun on top of her head, and her skin had a light sheen of sweat. 

Her expression stuttered at the sight of him. 

He had no words. 

“Jason?” 

He surged forward. She met him halfway. Her arms wrapped around him as tight as his did around her, and it felt more right than anything ever had before. 

He managed to get her name out, before he kissed her. Her hand grazed his cheek so tenderly. 

He pulled back and looked into her eyes. Had there ever been anything so beautiful? 

“Jason, I have to tell you,” she said, putting a hand on his chest. “While you were gone, I…”

“I know. Dick told me.” He looked around the entryway. Even if Dick hadn’t said a word the folded up pram, the tiny raincoat, and the row of little shoes would give the game away. The furniture had seen a change too, most things had been moved higher up.

His eyes caught on the shoes. They were so small. He couldn’t help his smile. 

“Where is she?” he asked. 

“Gaa,” a high pitched voice rang out from the living room. 

Andy’s lips quirked. 

Soft, slow footfalls patted on the hard flooring, heralding the new arrival. 

He stepped forward, out of the still open doorway. 

And a little girl toddled into view. She was wobbly but her face was fixed into a determined pout. She stuck her nappy-wrapped bum out for balance, and held her arms cautiously forwards. She wore a single sock and a yellow dress. 

Jason’s heart relocated itself. It no longer lived in his chest.

She had a wispy halo of black floppy curls and a chubby round face. She stared at him. 

He knelt down. 

“Sophie, baby girl, this is your daddy. Can you say daddy?”

“Mammy.”

“Daddy,” Andy repeated, her voice wet.  

Sophie hummed. She toddled closer, relentless despite some wobbles. She stuck out her lower lip and fixed her eyes to him with absolute determination. He held out his hand. She reached back, closer with every step. 

Jason held his breath. 

Her whole tiny hand wrapped around his crooked index finger. She laughed in triumph and then fell onto her bottom.

“Oom,” she said on impact. 

She looked up at him again, actually seeing him now that her quest was complete. Big curious eyes of sparkling blue stared at him. 

“Hello,” he said. He offered a shaky smile. His eyes were glassy. 

She stared back. She blinked.

“Da.”

His tears fell. “That’s me,” he said. 

“Da. Da. Da de da den dayaya,” she babbled and giggled at herself.  She lifted her arms at him.

He lifted her gently and held her to his chest. She was so impossibly small. He could feel her heart beat against him, so feverishly fast. But she was calm, quite happy to be held. He curled around the most precious thing in the world. His breath hitched as he tried not to sob. 

She hugged him back; chubby little arms wound around his neck. She was so unafraid. 

He looked up at Andy. She was smiling down at them through her own tears, her hand held over her mouth. 

He stood, lifting his baby up. He held his little girl in one arm and the love of his life in the other. The baby was the only one dry eyed. Andy kissed the downy top of her head. Sophie leaned her head against his chest with a little sigh, safely ensconced between them. 

“Uncy?” 

“Hn?” he queried. 

“No, baby, he’s not an uncle.” 

Sophie turned her head back, looking up at him.

“Uncy Da,” she said, like she wasn’t letting them trick her that easy. 

He gave an amused snort that almost covered the yawning gulf in his heart. “That’s what I get for not being here.” 

“You’ll just have to stick around and convince her otherwise.” 

“Yeah.” He took a deep breath. “I will.”

Next>>

[fangirlingfromdownunder]

A Sweet Mishap - Chapter 8

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader 

A/N: I just want to start by thanking everyone for all the love on this story so far. Here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy. Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist.

A Sweet Mishap Masterlist | Main Masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

I spend most of Christmas Eve in bed relaxing and catching up on much-needed sleep after days of long, busy shifts at the cafe paired with hours of wedding and party planning, all while trying to stay in contact with my intriguing new phone pal. But much to my dismay, and appreciation, Stella refused to let me stay alone through the night. She insisted I come over for dinner and stay for Christmas. As in her words, “It would be an atrocity for my best friend to spend the holidays alone”. So, I had no choice but to kindly accept her demand. 

As I walk towards the subway station my phone starts buzzing in my jacket pocket. I smile hoping it’s Jensen or Stella, but instead, it’s my boss. I sigh and brace myrself as I step out of the path of fast-passing pedestrians and lean against the brick wall of a fashion boutique. 

“Stewie, Hey!” I answer as brightly as possible.

“Y/N, Hi. I know I agreed to let you have today off, and that still stands. We’re closing soon anyway. But I just wanted to let you know a package got delivered here this morning with your name on it. There something wrong with the mail at your apartment? Your neighbours stealing your packages again?”

“Uh…no. Not that I know of. I didn’t order anything.”

“Ah, well I’ll leave it in my office. You have a key, you can swing by through the back and pick it up whenever you’re ready.”

“I’m actually around the corner right now. Can I swing by now before you close?”

“Sure! I’ll be here.”

“Thanks, Stewie. See you soon!” I hang up and rush down the street in the opposite direction, back towards the cafe. The sign’s already flicked to ‘closed’ when I get there, but there's light on in the kitchen so I go in. 

“Stewie, it’s just me. For the package,” I call out as I walk towards the lit-up kitchen. As I get closer, the smell of fresh bread and cookies overwhelms my senses. “You know we’re closing for two days, right?” I call out as I round the corner into the spacious kitchen.

The short, round balding man, with just a few strands of grey hair, comes into view carrying a tray of shortbread biscuits straight out of the oven. His glasses, sitting on the tip of his nose, are fogged up. “Yeah, yeah. But I got a big family to feed and a tiny kitchen to do it with. I put everything I got into keeping this place open. I may as well make the most of it.”

“Good idea. So, uh, the package?” I ask as I eye off the golden biscuits, shaped like gingerbread men, wreaths, bells and candy canes. My empty stomach growls andI clear my throat to hide it, but, despite his age, old Stewie hears it.

“Help yourself. I can spare a few. Grab a takeaway container. You can even have a loaf of bread, they’ll be done soon…Wife wants me home before dark.”

“I couldn’t. They’re for your family. I’m just here for my package, remember?”

“Listen, I ain’t no Scrooge. I know your measly salary may make you think I am, but I pay you as much as I can. Outside the holidays, we’re barely making rent. Least I can do is give you a few cookies and some bread.”

“Stewie, I know you do your best for this place and all of us. We all know it. But if you insist, I do find it hard to resist your cooking. Rudie’s great, but you’re the master.”

“No need for flattery, kiddo. Go grab your package from my office and I’ll package up some cookies and bread for you.”

“Alright, thanks. You’re the best!” I smile at Stewie as I go into his office. Mamma Jo was his mother, who passed a few short months ago. She was the light of the kitchen whenever she visited to check on things. Stewie runs the place with as much passion as she did, yet he hasn’t baked since she passed, that is, until tonight. I smile, hoping he’s finally finding his passion again. 

I spot a medium-sized cardboard box on the edge of the desk, I shake my head wondering what it could possibly be. Once I get close enough, I read the label. 

To Y/NMamma Jo’s Coffee and Chocolateria204 5th Ave, New York, NY 10019

From Jensen Acklesc/o Management Beverly Hills, CA 90210

I quickly pull my phone out, snap a picture of the parcel and send it to Jensen.

Hey Superstar, this your doing? Thought you were in Texas?

I don’t wait for a reply, I put my phone away and go back into the kitchen with the box tucked under my arm and my overnight bag slung over my other shoulder. Stewie hands me two boxes of warm goods; I don’t look inside but they smell delicious. He looks at me dubiously as I attempt to carry it all.

“How far you headed, Kiddo?”

“Not far, it’s okay. I’ll manage,” I try to assure him, but he sees right through it. He gives me a look to say he doesn’t believe me; it’s the kind of look you would expect from a parent who’s waiting for their child to come clean. “My friend’s place in Lower Manhattan. She and her fiance invited me for Christmas so I wouldn’t be alone. Plus, I’m helping with the wedding planning.”

“If you help me pack all these up,” Stewie says gesturing at the cooling cookies and bread, “and clean up the kitchen. I’ll drive you.”

“I’m happy to help, but you do not need to drive me that far out of your way on Christmas Eve.”

“I don’t endorse free labor, so either you get out of here now, or you stay and help and then I drive you.”

Feeling the strain in my arms already and dreading the walk in the snow, I make a decision. I sigh and put everything down on a clear counter and then start carefully boxing up cookies. Stewie nods and starts packaging the loaves of bread, croissants and other pastries on the other tray. Once we finish packaging everything, I clean the trays, bowls and utensils while Stewie wipes down the oven and benches. Working in perfect harmony, we’re finished in no time.

It takes a few trips to load everything into his delivery van parked in the back alley. Despite his insistence that it’s all for his family, I know he’ll end up sharing with his whole block and it just makes me admire him more. 

After shutting off the lights and locking up, Stewie skillfully navigates out of the alley and out onto the busy street towards Lower Manhattan. I provide directions to the best of my ability, using my knowledge of the few times Nick has driven me with some –a lot of–help from the GPS on my phone. AsI’m looking at the map I notice a text come through from Jensen, but I swipe up quickly to make it go away so I can focus on providing directions. 

After a while, Stewie pulls up in Stella and Nick’s driveway. I thank him sincerely, collect my things and carefully trudge through the light covering of snow to get to the front door. I wave Stewie off once Stella opens the door. I’m instantly welcomed by the warm and enticing smell of roast chicken. 

“I come bearing gifts, Merry Christmas guys!” I say as I signal for Stella to take the boxes of treats. She eagerly takes them as she eyes the other box at the same time. Luckily, though the smell distracts her and she hurries into the kitchen to put the boxes down and peek inside. 

Nick peeks over her shoulder. “Sourdough? That’ll be perfect to go with dinner. I’ll put the store-bought shit back.”

“Rudie or Stewie?” Stella asks critically.

“Stewie. He’s finally coming back on board after everything,” I offer happily.

“Yay!” Stella says clapping as she reaches for a cookie, but Nick slaps her hand away.

“Dinner’s almost ready.” He looks over at my still full arms and nods towards the stairs. “Guest room’s all set up for you so you don’t have to pass out on the couch this time. And if that’s a gift for us it can go under the tree.”

“Uh, yeah. Thanks. I’ll just go put my stuff down,” I say with a smile before slipping upstairs to the guest room. I dump my bag on the floor and the box on the bed. I stare at it curiously. Then remember the text in the car. I pull your phone out to read it, but Stella bursts in.

“I tried to make it all nice and pretty and festive for my bestest maid of honor!” She says joyfully as she points out the little Christmas tree and tinsel decorating the dresser.

“It looks amazing! You’re the best,” I say brightly, yet distracted. 

“You didn’t have to get us anything you know,” she says as she gestures at the box. “You being here and organising the bridal shower and helping with the wedding is more than enough. I know money’s tight at the moment.”

“Good, 'cause it’s not from me…Jensen sent it to the cafe. Stewie called and told me to pick it up, hence all the pastries and cookies. I wasn’t meant to go in today…”

“Jensen sent you a gift?”

“I’m not sure if he did or if he got his management team to. Maybe it’s an NDA and warning? He’s in Texas and it says California so…” I finally look down at my phone screen.

It was and I amI wanted to put my address, I didBut with no NDA my agent was against itBut I promise it’s from me

“He says it’s from him, his agent just wouldn’t let him put his address,” I explain, half to Stella and half to make yourself believe it. As I’m talking another text comes through.

Open it yet, Sweetheart?

“He asked if I opened it yet?”

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Stella urges as she pushes the box closer to me.

I touch the tape but then withdraw and text him back.

Should I not wait until Christmas?

After a minute his name pops up on my screen. I look hesitantly between the phone and my best friend. She nods understanding and stands up. “I’ll be downstairs, but I want details when you’re done!”

I nod and shoo her out quickly before leaning my back against the now-closed door.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Taglist: @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27, @n-o-p-e-never

[butmakeitgayblog]

Any new headcanons brewing in your head after seeing Alycia at the AACTA

Not... entirely

But I've had thoughts. Bear with me.

I'm not even remotely the person to write something like this at all, but it definitely did have me thinking of a SORT OF SHOEH-esque type fic. Something involving them being closeted and in Hollywood. Getting their flowers for their talent and being in love, but having to keep it quiet their entire careers. I've seen some fics along this line here and there, but inevitably in the fic, one or both eventually come out on stage or something.

Which is great! That's a lovely and hopeful ending.

But also....

Not entirely realistic.

Or even half as heartwrenching.

"Well yeah jesus fuck, why do you want sad shit Andi, why are you always such a glutton for punishment and literary pain?"

Well I'll tell you why: cuz... shut up

Idk it just got me thinking of Clexa as two Hollywood starlets on kind of differing ends of the spectrum of Hollywood that in the public eye are generally never really thought about together.

Lexa tends to do more gritty work, a lot more indie films. Dark threaded moody pieces and emotional roles, not generally thought of as box office fodder, but pretty much always a contender at awards season. Sleeper hits, you get me. Things like that. She definitely has a well known name, but she's selective in her work and that gains her a lot of respect with fans, even if they have to sometimes wait 2-3 years between projects. Because whatever she signs on for, it's pretty much always really fucking good. Whereas Clarke is more of a mainstream girly. She does a decently broad spectrum of films, but they're by and large always ones with bigger budgets, bigger release dates, more screens. It's not that they're not quality pictures, it's just that Clarke likes to work a broad range of things. One year she's in a comedy, the next a period piece, the next action. There's no real labeling her career.

And most importantly, they're both very, very straight.

At least, their personas are.

Alexandria is a smoky eyed femme fatale who leaves all the men eating out of the palm of her hand. Very "Look but don't touch" attitude that adds to her allure, to her mystery, despite her always being attached to leading man's arm. Miss Griffin is the picture of buxom Hollywood glam that every guy has on the List. Known for leaving a string of broken hearted men in her wake with little more than a cheek kiss-stained in signature red lipstick

Lexa and Clarke though?

Lexa and Clarke are two friends who have been deeply in love and committed to each other for the better part of 5 years.

They love each other in secret because that's what they feel like they have to do. They have two seperate houses with two separate addresses, and only one bed they actually sleep in.

It only really burns on the big nights, which I think would be an interesting oneshot. Just a glimpse into their life and what it feels like in that moment. The night when all their work and their sacrifices are being honored. Because even though, yes, they do play the part of friends and manage to sit near each other, it's not the same. It's not the same when they can't get ready together or even show up in the same car. When they have to remind themselves not to lean into each other too often, or even reach for the others hand to calm their nerves.

When one wins, they walk up alone without a hug or kiss from the only person who actually matters. They thank their families and their friends and their management that they can barely stand half the time, and remind themselves to smile like it's the happiest moment of their life even though at least half it all feels like a lie. Because yeah, they get lonely in the months when projects and shooting schedules pull them to opposite sides of the globe... but somehow those months never feel quite as lonely as being in a room filled with people who act like they adore you, while the love of your life sits quietly with her own "date" half an aisle away

[andydrysdalerogers]

Cross-Checked ~ Chapter 18

Andy Barber x OFC Leighton "Leia" Andrews

Summary:

Andy Barber is having the best year of his life. His game is on point. It’s gets to play with his best friend and his fiancé just... dumped him?!. 

Reeling from a sudden change in status, Andy decides it’s time to just focus on hockey. Until his best friend's sister comes out with news that rock the entire organizations world., 

Andy has always carried a torch for the untouchable Leighton but in her hour of need, is now the time to shoot and score or risk getting cross - checked again? 

Warnings: Cheating (but not by the MCs); slow burn; friends to lovers eventually; SMUT!; pregnancy; jealousy; handsome goalies, evil exes...

A/N: The tag list is open! Also, so sorry to be behind on this one. Life got in the way for awhile but I'm back!

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Banners by me!

Previous: Chapter 17 ~ You Complete Me

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 18 ~ Daydream Believer...

Andy 

34 weeks 

It's been a rough week at home.  

Not that Leia and I have been having problems. We haven’t. But she hasn’t been sleeping very much. Bret’s words hurt her deeply. Being compared to her mother, not the mother she was raised by, but the mother she had become after her father died.  

Leia wants nothing more than to be a perfect mother for our princess. I believe that she will be. I have promised her that we will be the best parents to this little girl. But, for us to get there, Leia needs to be happy.  I had asked Miranda and Stella, and they made a suggestion I hope lets Leia see how I see her.  

“Sweetheart, it’s time to wake up.” I place gentle kisses on her cheeks, nose, lips. She stirs but her eyes don’t open. “Come on, love, open your eyes for me.”  

“No,” she grumbles and turns away from me. “Sleepy,” she mumbles.  

I chuckled softly. “I know, my love, but I have a surprise for you.” 

She cracked an eye. “Does this surprise include breakfast?”  

I shake my head with a smile. “Baby, I am a hockey player but I am not an idiot. We are having breakfast in the city and then, I have a surprise. But none of that can happen if you don’t get up.”  

My girl has never been an early riser. But the idea of breakfast at her favorite place has her grumbling a little less.  I help her to sit up.  Our Princess has grown a lot in the past few days. I rub on Leia’s back and she moans. Fuck, that went straight to my groin. I swallow my own noises and help her up.  

“Do we have time for a shower?” Leia gives me her big eyes and fuck if I don’t want to give her everything. 

“Of course we can, sweetheart.” I lifted her in my arms and took her to the walk-in shower. I strip her and myself before walking us into the shower. I blocked the cold water from splashing on her and I cup her face. “You are the most beautiful creature in the world. I don’t know how I got so lucky.”  

“Andy,” she lip wobbled.  

“I mean it, my queen. Its hard not to stare at you.” I give her an Eskimo kiss before I press my lips to her. “I love you so much Leia.”  

“I love you, Andy.” The water warms and I turn her into the water. I tilted her head and washed her hair. Her eyes flutter close as I massage her scalp. These are the moments I live for. When I can take care of her. When it's just the two of us.  The touches and whispers. The small kisses and lingering looks. When we are at our most vulnerable. Don’t get me wrong, sex with Leia is incredible and I imagine that it will just get better when she isn’t carrying my child. I will wait for that. But now, I just need these moments.  

After our shower, I packed up a bag for Leia, snack and juice and whatnot. I know she will need it during the surprise. I take her to breakfast at this diner we used to love growing up. Watching her smile and bounce a little on her seat, just like when she was little, makes me smile more.  

These are the moments that make all the pain we went through worth it.  

As I drive to the surprise, I can see Leia playing with her fingers. “Nervous?” 

“A little,” she says.  

“Would it make you feel better to know that Stella and Miranda helped me?” 

Her head whipped over to mine. “They did?” I glanced at her to see her smile.  

“I promise, you’ll love it.”  I pulled up to the stadium parking lot.  

“Why are we at the Garden?” 

“It’s a surprise. C’mon.” I opened her door and helped her out. I could see the look of skepticism. “Sweetheart, have I ever lied to you?” 

“No,” she said with a pout. “At least I’m out of the house.” She smiled. “Better than going to the doctor’s office and then back home.”  

“This is true,” I said. I nodded at security and guided Leia to the locker room.  When I opened the door, Leia gasped. “Oh, they got it set up, cool,” I said as casually as possible.  

“Andy, what did you do? What is going on?” Leia looked around to see a makeup station set up with black drapes covering the lockers. A couple of women, dressed in black were standing next to the station.  A rack of clothes and a full-length mirror was set up to the side.  

I turned her to look at me and I placed my hands on her hips. “Baby, I know the past few weeks have been tough. I know that Bret’s words hurt you. I hate that he was able to hurt you so badly. But I didn’t want you to stay down. I asked the girls what they thought would be something to cheer you up and you kept mentioning a pregnancy photo shoot.”  

I watched a tear slide down her face. Shit, did I do the wrong thing? “Leia, you don’t have to...” 

She silences me with a kiss on her tip toes. “This is perfect, love.”  

I slowly smile. “Yeah?”  

“This is amazing. So where are we taking pictures?”  

“Get ready and I will show you.”  

I set out to make sure the area for the pictures is safe for Leia. I wanted to have a couple on the ice but it needed to be carpeted for Leia so she wouldn’t fall.  The photographer is setting up his equipment and some of the arena staff are rolling out the carpet to hide wires and stuff.  “Hey Cap,” I turned to see Brad, David and Luke carrying in the goal to the ice.  

“What are you guys doing here?” I shook their hands after the but the goal down.  

Luke shrugged. “Cubby’s been down every time I called, and Miranda told me what you were doing for her, and I wanted to see her smile again.”  

“Thanks man. And you guys? I turned to Brad and David.  

“We’ll always help the captain and his girls,” David said.  

Brad went to say something, but his jaw dropped, and I turned around.  

I wasn’t ready.  

She had on a soft looking white sweater the extenuated her bump. Black leggings with brown fur-lined boots. Her chestnut hair was in beautiful curls. Her eyes were sparkling, and her lips were a pale pink. She is perfect and my mouth is completely dry.  

“Cubby! You look beautiful.” Luke went over to hug his sister. Brad gave me a shit eating grin and nudged me with his shoulder.  

“When are you putting a ring of her Cap?” 

That was a very good question.  

The hockey poses on the ice are my favorite. I kneel in front of the goal and kiss her bump. We get onto center ice and hold her in my arms.  She takes some on her own from the bench, holding a pair of tiny pink skates.  We then moved to the park and Leia changed into a lacy ivory jacket with just a bra underneath.  I had to adjust myself when I saw her.  

As she turned for a different angle, it hit me. This is the woman I would spend the rest of my life with. And I know I said that when I first kissed her but now, I could see it.  

I could see us in the hospital, encouraging Leia to push, hoping she doesn’t end my career while squeezing my hand. “You got this baby,” I tell her. And with an almighty scream she welcomes our baby girl into the world. I watch as they clean her and then hand her to me for the first time. And I fell in love all over again with this tiny miracle. My daughter.  

Saw us taking a walk around the city and me proposing at the Public Gardens. It’s fall, Leia’s favorite season. She loved the colors. We’re pushing our baby girl around dressed in a pink sweater set, the season almost begins when I drop to one knee and hold out a ring, I know she will love.  

Watching her walk down the aisle to me on Luke’s arm as I try not to cry. But I can’t help it because she’s so damm beautiful. And when Luke gives me her hand, he doesn’t have to threaten me. He knows I would do anything for her.  

I see us having another child, not really caring if its a boy or girl.  

Retiring and coaching my daughter’s youth hockey team. She'll be a star, just like her dad.  

Holding her hand, forever.  

I choke a little as my daydream recedes and I feel a tear slide down my face. I never believed that we had a soul mate.  There are seven billion people on the planet. How could we be tied to just one person? But here I am, watching my soul mate take pictures of her beautiful body that is growing our baby, realizing that this is the start of our forever.  

I must have had a dazed look while I was lost in thought because I jump Leia touches my arm. “Andy? Honey? Is everything ok?” 

I smile and wipe at the tears I didn’t know had escaped. “Yeah baby, everything is fine.”  

“But you’re crying love?” 

“It’s because I can see it, you know.” She looked at me confused. “I can see our future, our life together and it’s so beautiful.  I didn’t think I would get that.”  

Leia gives me a teary smile. “You can?” 

“I can, baby. and I can’t wait.” I take her face in my hand and give her the sweetest kiss.  

That turned out to be our favorite photo of the day.  

Leia 

35 weeks.  

Andy is on the road with the team again and I’m in nesting mode. All of the clothes that the team gave me are so cute. I think I have a jersey onesie for each player. All the WAGs gave me some of the cutest dresses. Looks like baby girl will have multiple outfit changes a day. I honestly can’t wait for her to be here. But she needs to cook for at least two more weeks. Anyways, I’m in the nursey, organizing, when Miranda comes in. “Leia, don’t hate me.”  

“I could never hate you. What’s up?” I fold a little t-shirt on my belly.  

“I have to take a last minute work trip.”  

“Oh.” Miranda is a sports agent.  She represents Andy and some of the other players. Luke used to be her client as well but due to the conflict of interest, he was handed off to another agent in her firm. She used to travel a lot more but recently has been working from home.  Getting a call from a client that requires her to travel means that this is a big deal. “How long will you be gone?” 

“Two days max. I have to leave tomorrow morning.”  She’s worried, i can tell because she’s chewing her lips. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”  

“Hey, I’m fine.  I’ll take it easy and order in if I don’t feel like cooking.”  

“Are you sure?” 

“I’m sure.  Besides, I can call people to help if I need to. Go, rule the world or whatever.” I gave her a hug. “Everything is going to be fine.”  

The first day alone was uneventful. I re-organized the clothes in little Miss’s room and then worked on my own drawers. I could be seated for all of that. I made myself a salad for dinner.  

I woke up positive on the second day.  I had a couple of calls with some clients that needed me but I called Andy first and face-timed with him.  

“You look happy love.”  

“I am. Just keeping busy until Miranda comes back tomorrow.” The doorbell rings and I turn my head.  

“Expecting something?” He chuckles because he knows I have been ordering stuff from Amazon.  

“Maybe,” I say with a giggle. “I’ll let you get to morning skate.  I love you, handsome.”  

“I love you, beautiful. I’ll call before the game.”  We hung up and I lugged myself out of the seat. I waddled to the door to see what packages I got.  

I was not expecting a person at the door with a big smile that sends me into a panic.  

“Hello Leighton.”  

NEXT

Taglist:

@patzammit @texmexdarling @slutforchrisjamalevans @firephotogrl74 @tinkerbelle67 @before-we-get-started @bunnyforhim @alexakeyloveloki @sunnyhummingbee @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @peaceinourtime82 @saucy-sassy-sparkly @kmc1989 @kandis-mom @lokislady82

[agirlwithbigdreamsforher]

Would you mind doing a one shot there Annie has a rough day like really rough 🥺 and andy does everything in his will power to make her comfortable including waking up in the middle of the night from back pain from the baby so he gives her a massage and the one thing leads to another and things get spicy 🥵 please 🥺🥹

I love this series please don’t ever stop! I’ll still support and read. Btw I’m a silent follower never really done this hope this message gets to you 👉🏼👈🏼

I can do that! I took me a while to answer cuz I had work to do.

ROUGH DAY

THE NANNY: ONE SHOT

A ROUGH DAY

Pairing: Andy Barber x Annie Johnson (OFC)

Summary: Annie is having a rough day and she take out her frustration with Andy.

Warnings: crying, cursing words, pregnancy syntoms, sex, Andy.

A/N: none.

Word count: 2109

Disclaimer: I do not give permission for any of my works to be copied, used, translated nor reposted anywhere else but here on this blog. Do not steal what you didn’t work for. Minors and ageless blank blogs don’t interact with me or my works. Reblogs and likes are always welcome. Thank you for reading this work of fiction.

GIFS not mine, you can find the credits in each gif :)

                                     ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

One of the things Andy never liked about Annie, (yes, believe it or not he doesn’t like things about her), was when she shut down because something bother her. She got moody and in general just stop talking. And no matter how many times Andy has told her he was there for her, she kept doing it.

Today was one of those days. Her maternity leave began 2 weeks ago and Annie woke up only to realize her belly had grown more. She had an early doctor’s appointment, she changed, stood in front of the mirror and she looked huge; she couldn’t even see her feet.

“Good morning, honey!” Andy said cheerfully as he walked in to get changed for the day. He had just showered, so a towel was the only thing on his body. Of course he looked good, Annie could see his abs because he was not carrying a child on his belly. Annie turned to see him with hate in her eyes. “Ok, no good morning then.” He got closer willing to give her a kiss but she just dodged him. “Alright… so, you want me to come with you to your doctor’s appointment?”

“No.”

“But what if the baby show us if it a girl or a boy?”

“Argh! That’s not gonna happen! If it hasn’t happened yet, it’s not going to happen now!”

“Hey, I haven’t done anything to you, I just asked a simple question there’s no need to be so bitchy!”

“Fuck you!”

Annie left the room, went downstairs and left. Jake walked into the room carrying his lunchbox and his backpack. Andy was sitting on the bed already putting his socks on.

“Mommy leave me.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take you to school.”

“She upset again?”

“It’s gonna be a long day, buddy.”

And it was. Lunch wasn’t any different. Annie didn’t cook and when Andy asked why she yelled at him and told him he had hands and he could cook himself. After that she went straight to their room and stayed there for the rest of the day.

Andy didn’t get near her until it was time for him to sleep. He walked into the room and saw his wife drifting off hugging her pregnancy pillow.

“Wanna talk?” Andy said cautiously but Annie ignored him completely and closed her eyes. “Good night.” He sighed, got himself comfortable and went to sleep.

It has been 3 hours since Andy turned off the tv and began snoring. Annie was fully awake, she was hungry and in so much pain. In fact she has been in pain from the moment she woke up. It was a small sting on her waist but now it was full pain. She turned and sat on the edge of the bed trying her best not to wake Andy up. She stood up, only to realize she couldn’t stand up straight.

“Jesus.” She put both her hands on the back of her waist and went downstairs to the kitchen to make something to eat and at least calm her hunger.

She grabbed everything to make a sandwich, sat on one of the stools and prepare her food. Once she was done she proceed to eat it. After she finished of course she got thirsty, but when she tried to reach for a glass a sharp pain hit right in her waist, sending some sort of electricity through her spine, her knees buckled and the scream that came out of her mouth was loud enough to wake up the entire neighborhood. She was in all fours on the floor when she heard the footsteps of Andy running down the stairs.

“Honey!” He rushed to the floor, “You ok?” Annie shook her head avoiding his sight, “Is it time?” She shook her head again, “Baby, talk to me.”

Annie turned to see him, cheeks covered in her tears, “My back hurts so bad.”

“Do you think you can sit on the floor?” She nodded and move to be sited against the counter. She took a deep breath and turned to see a very worried Andy. “I’ll help you get up. You think you can do that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Ok, I’m gonna sit behind you and help you stand.” He put himself between the counter and her. Put his arms under her armpits and made her stand.

“FUCK!” Annie yelled as she felt the pain again.

“I’m sorry.”

“It hurts real bad.”

“Where?”

“On my waist.” She lifted her top and pointed the area. “I’m too tired.”

Andy moved his hands under her very prominent belly and lifted it. Annie sighed in relief when she felt the weight being lifted off of her.

“That feels so good.”

“Yeah?” She nodded as she leaned against her husband’s chest. “Can you try to walk to the living room? I won’t let you go, I promise.”

“Yeah.” She gave two steps as Andy kept lifting her belly from behind her.

“Good, you’re doing so good, baby girl.” Annie waddled to the couch; her little penguin walk, as Andy called it, was heavier than the days before. Andy moved to be in front of her, took her hands and help her sat down on the couch. “Be right back, ok?”

Andy came back a couple of minutes later, carrying a warm towel and some baby oil. She noticed how Annie was drifting off again.

“Honey?” She opened her eyes, “How long have you not been sleeping properly?”

“A week.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Cuz you’re tired too! You still have to go to work!”

“Honey,” He sat next to her, “We are in this together, if you are not sleeping you need to tell me.” Annie didn’t say anything, “I hate when you don’t tell me what’s wrong. When did the pain start?” Andy move her shirt up and placed the warm towel on her waist. The heat began to bring comfort to her muscles.

“This morning. I thought it’ll go away. I thought it was because I slept in a wrong position, but then the doctor said it was because of the baby weight. To be honest I’m so uncomfortable lately, I want this to be over and it makes me feels like I’m a horrible woman because everyone says I should enjoy my pregnancy but I feel so fucked up!”

“Well, all of those people can go fuck themselves, ok?” Annie smiled to that, “If you are miserable, it’s fine!” Andy moved on the couch to be behind her, “Now, you think if I give you a massage the pain will go away?”

“I honestly don’t know.”

“Let’s figure it out,” Andy put some baby oil on the pal of his hand, “lift the back of your shirt and hold it there.” Andy’s finger began to rub gently above the towel. His long fingers went from her waist, across her spine and to her ribs.

“I’m sorry I was a bitch today to you.”

“It’s ok, you were in pain.” He removed the towel and began rubbing on the waist.

“Oh god! That feels so good!” She leaned to the front as Andy kept rubbing.

It wasn’t long before Andy fingers went under her sleeping shorts touching her butt cheeks.

“You have like a bump here.” Andy pressed one of his fingers on her left butt cheek.

“OW!”

“I think is your sciatic.” Andy rubbed harder and Annie winced, “Maybe if you take your short off I could…”

“How convenient.” Annie said and Andy laughed.

“I mean it, you want the pain go away or no?”

“Fine!” Annie stood up and pulled her shorts down, she was not wearing underwear. Andy put the towel on the couch and she sat on it. “hehe my ass is gonna be warm now.”

The massage continue for about 5 minutes and it helped a lot. She felt sore but not in pain anymore. Andy’s fingers were still rubbing softly on her back when she let herself fall against his chest, she turned to the side and smile at him.

“Thank you.” She leaned in and gave him a peck.

“You’re most welcome.” Andy kissed her back, softly at first, but then Annie put her hand on the nape of his head, mouths open and their tongues dancing. Andy’s oily fingers got under her shirt and to her breast.

“Mmmm.” Annie moaned against his lips when Andy pinched her nipples. Andy broke the kiss and move his lips to her neck.

“You need another kind of massage?” Andy asked her in a husky voice.

“Yes, please.”

“Ok, relaxed and open your legs.” Andy rested her back on his chest, bend her knees and opened her legs. Andy’s hand went south and using his middles and index finger rubbed softly her slit. “My, my, you already wet.” Andy moved his fingers up and down her slid without touching her clit. “What were you thinking while I was massaging you, naughty girl?”

“No…nothing.”

“Liar.” Andy nip her ear and his fingers rubbed her little button.

“Oh! Yes, there.” Andy moved his fingers to her entrance rubbing it as well making her whimper.

Andy couldn’t see her pussy but he could fell her.

“I bet she looks all pretty right now, wet and raw just for me.”

“Andy, please!”

“What’s wrong baby?”

“Can you put your fingers in me?”

“So polite, of course I can, but I won’t, not yet.”

“What? Why not?!”

“I wanna keep playing with her.”

“No, please, don’t tease me.”     

“No?” Andy rubbed her clit faster and then stopped. “Ok.”

“No! I was about to cum!”

“You say no teasing.”

“Andy, please!”

Andy stood up and kneel in front of the couch, dark lustful eyes staring down at her pussy.

“See, all pretty!” Andy didn’t give her a warning before he latch to her pussy like a starve man.

“FUCK!” Annie throw her head back. She could feel his lips sucking her clit and lapping at her hole. “Oh god! Yes!” He began to tongue fuck her. His warm tongue getting in and out of her wet entrance. Annie touched her boobs feeling her orgasm approached, “Yes! Just like that! Please, don’t stop!” Andy could feel her pulsing hole on his mouth. “ANDY!” her hands took a hold of his head and keept him on her pussy. A gush of liquid came out of her and directly to Andy’s face. “FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!”

Andy’s tongue kept licking her pussy as Annie came down form her height. When he turned to see Annie his beard was drench.

“Oh my god. Andy, I’m sorry, I ‘ve never…”

“I know!” He kissed the top of her clit, “It was amazing.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah.” He stood up and throw his boxer briefs across the room. He stroke a couple of times, “you think you can do that again?”

“I… I don’t know.”

Andy climbed on the couch and help Annie to get on her side. He lifted her leg and position himself in her entrance.

“Let’s find out.” She was so wet Andy slid in easily. “Fuck, you feel so fucking good.”

 He gave no warning and he wasn’t in the mood of been soft with her. He pounded hard into her, his balls hitting on her ass. Annie’s moaned filled the silence, “You like that?”

“YES!”

“Whose pussy is this, huh?”

“YOURS! OH GOD!

“Damn right is mine.” Andy’s hand went to her clit and as he thrusted into her and rubbed it fast, “oh I can feel you squeezing me, baby.”

“Andy!” He didn’t stop, in fact he moved faster, “Please!”

“One more, baby. I know you can. Come on!” As soon as Andy said that she came again, her pussy contracted against his dick. “FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!” She milked her cock and he spilled his seed inside her. Andy took a deep breath and kissed the back of Annie’s head. “Do you think you can sleep now?”

But Annie didn’t answer. Andy moved to see her sleeping already, H laughed a bit but couldn’t blame her because he also felt exhausted. He stood, put his boxers back on, and took Annie in his arms to bring her back to their room.

By the time he walked into the room and placed Annie next to her pregnancy pillow the clock on his bed side table was marking 5:20 a.m.

“Maybe I should shower already.” He said softly.

“Don’t go to work.” Annie said in a sleepy voice. “Stay.”

Andy smiled, slid on his side of the bed and kissed Annie on the forehead “good night, honey.” One more kiss, “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

[summerlycoris]

Is it really a birthday party if you wake up in a hospital?

Chapter 14- Everyday it feels like seams are more than torn.

AO3 link- here.

Chrono link- here.

She hadn’t managed to get much sleep again. 

Maybe four hours, if she was lucky. 

And she felt completely dead on her feet. So dead on her feet, that she somehow tripped over in the empty hallway, while walking to the kitchen for breakfast. Despite having her kafo brace on, and her crutches.

Maybe that was a bad sign. 

Maybe the other kids would tease her for using the wheelchair. But they’d definitely tease her if she went head over heels. 

‘ Please don’t push yourself too hard.’

So she turned around with a sigh, and swapped. 

When she got to the kitchen, Andy was already in there, at the counters. She was pouring herself some cereal, but stopped and gave Cassie a funny look when she got in. 

“Changed things up a bit today, huh?”

Cassie barely avoided telling her to shut up . 

“Still hurts from yesterday.” She said instead. “Can I have some cereal too, please?”

Andy rolled her eyes and flashed her a cheeky grin. “Are your arms and legs painted on? You know how to get cereal.”

Now she wished she had told Andy to shut up. And where to go. 

“I’m in pain, and I’m tired! And I asked nicely- why are you being such a jerk ?!”

That wiped the grin off Andy’s face. “Okay, okay. I’ll get you some cereal. What kind are you after?”

“Just what you’ve got, please .” Cassie still felt a bit moody, after that. 

Another weird look. Though, this time Andy did pour the cereal at least. “I’ll take it to the table- you wanna wait there?”

So she did- at the spot where Mom had removed one of the chairs, so that she’d have plenty of room to sit regardless of what she was using at the time. 

It was at the end of the table, where Dad had once sat. 

‘It’s not like we're removing his seat- there’s still enough seats. if he was here, he’d just need to change spots, to give you room.’ Mom had said. 

Still, she felt weird about it. At least until Andy came over, with both bowls of cereal. Sitting nearby, at one of the chairs looking out the front window.

When Cassie looked right to see out of it, all she could see were cars occasionally driving by. 

They ate in silence, for a while. Until Cassie started wondering about how today would go. 

She’d worried about it all last night- even though she’d tried to sleep. 

The problem was, she just couldn't figure out how to be friends with Lawrence, without also being Chris and Hannah’s friends. 

And she didn't think she could be Chris or Hannah’s friend. There were just too many differences between them. 

“Why the long face? I said sorry earlier.” Andy remarked, and snapped her out of her thoughts. 

“ That’s not the problem.” Cassie sighed, before thinking about it- 

Andy also went through middle school. And she had tons of friends- some still talk to her now. Maybe she could help me? 

“Hey, Andy? I need some advice.” Cassie asked.

“What kind of advice?” 

Cassie sighed again. “Okay, so. My friend Lawrence? He has some friends he sits with, and…” She tried to figure out a nice way to say it. “His friends are… I don’t like them.”

Andy gave her a strange look at that. “Are you… gonna clarify why you don't like them?”

She played with the spoon, swirling it around through the remaining cereal. “They’re just… extremely uncool.” 

“ Yikes , didn't know you could be so judgemental, Cassie.” Andy said, with a smirk.

Cassie dropped her spoon into the bowl, and sat up stock straight. “I am not judgemental! It’s just- ugh! It’s hard to explain…” she said, crossing her arms. 

She figured Andy would make fun of her situation some more. Instead, all she got was a raised eyebrow, and silence.

Good for thinking, at least. Even as the kitchen clock ticked noisily in the background. 

“Okay, so. I want to have a better birthday next year.” She uncrossed her arms, and admitted out loud. “No offense- but the last two have been really…”

“Really shit?”

That brought a slight smile to her face. “I was going to say ‘cruddy’, but that works too.” 

That pulled a laugh out of Andy, and bolstered Cassie’s resolve. 

“Anyway- my goal this year is to make some new friends, and have a great birthday party! I’ve made two friends so far- and one of them lives up near Salt Lake City. So, she probably can’t even make it to my birthday… If I make friends with Lawrence’s friends- that’s it! Just being around them makes me look like a complete dweeb! And if people at school think I’m a complete dweeb- no one will want to be my friend!”

She took a deep breath, after finishing that clump of words. “I know it sounds mean- but I can’t afford to lose all my chances this year.”

What Andy said next wasn’t what Cassie expected. At all.

“It doesn’t sound mean, to me. Just sounds like you don’t wanna get picked on forever. Self preservation, and all that.” Andy took a big spoonful of her cereal, before following that up with “I made the same judgments when I was in high school, trust me. Shark eat shark world, in American schools.”

She could feel her shoulders relax. “Yeah, it really is, huh?”

“Yep! Sure is. Seriously - sometimes, you just need to let people swim by themselves. If they sink, they sink. If they swim, they swim. Try to save them, and they’ll just drag you down with them.”

Cassie nodded along to that. There were times Andy sounded smart- when she was talking about football, or roller derby, or life back in Brazil. But this? This sounded like wisdom to Cassie. Something she didn’t get from Andy often anymore. 

(Mostly, because Andy had gone away to college a few years back.)

And wisdom was something special. 

She needed to hear it. 

“I guess what I need to know is- you had plenty of friends in school. How did you deal with it, when your friends were friends with people you couldn’t be friends with?”

Andy hummed quietly, thinking things over. Before launching into her own question- “Are you and Lawrence close?”

This question kind of gave Cassie pause. “I think we are? We text each other every day, we have so much in common, we’re going to Halloween together… and when he found out about Janet, he didn’t blame me for her death.” She whispered the last bit. That especially had really left an impact on her. Because she’d been certain he wouldn’t want to be her friend afterwards. 

“Sounds pretty close to me. What about him and those ratbags?”

More things to think about. Except she had way less information about this situation. “Umm… I’m not too sure, to be honest. Chris read a boring book to Lawrence over lunch, and I didn’t see him and Hannah do anything special. They might just sit at the same table? Only be friends because of that? They don’t seem to have anything in common…”

Andy nodded at that, whisking her spoon through what was left of her cereal. “Well, sounds like you’re closer to him than they are. I've seen groups like that when I was in school- friends, but only because they were the dregs left behind when everyone else found their own friends.”

Cassie didn’t quite understand where this was going. And got a strange feeling in the pit of her belly, which she quickly pushed aside- she needed to stay focused. 

 “So, what you’re saying is…?” She asked, trying to coax Andy along. 

After all, the clock was slowly ticking closer to school time. 

“Well, if he has a new friend he’s close to, does he really need those rejects anymore?” Andy asked. “You could probably get him to dump them pretty easily- just gotta be a little subtle about it. Don’t just come out saying ‘you need to leave your friends’- people hate that. Just… give him more reasons to want to be around you, than them. And remind him of that when you can. He’ll ditch them- and think it was his idea.”

That made sense to Cassie. Even if it also sounded a bit… well, mean . 

Manipulative might be a better word?

It wasn’t like she had much choice, though. After all, this was a shark eat shark world.

She couldn’t let this year be wasted, like last year. Even if that meant being a bit…

“... Thanks for the advice, Andy. I’ll have to think about it a bit more, though.” she stirred her spoon through the now empty milk.

Andy shrugged. “Well, yeah. You need to figure out what reasons would work best for him, after all. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

Cassie looked away, as Andy took both their bowls up to the sink. 

Yeah. She would really need to think this through. Or perhaps ‘steel my resolve’ is a more fitting term ?

It didn’t feel right. But then, neither did befriending Chris and Hannah. It was like she was stuck between a rock, and a hard place. 

And she wasn’t sure what to do about it. 

________

Her first real class with Mrs Delarosa went well. Or at least, today Cassie got to the right class.

“Welcome back, everybody! Did you all have a good fall break? Or… did you get up to mischief?” She asked, standing just in front of her desk.

Some students stifled giggles, others tried to look away, guiltily. While others just sat there. Cassie was one of the kids who just sat there. 

Cassie had gotten ‘up to mischief’ during her summer break. Her very long break. So maybe she should’ve been reacting… but it had been a long time ago. And she kind of suspected where this was going- her old Literacy teacher had pulled the same trick last year, after school went back. Then got them to write an essay about what they did. 

Is Mrs Delarosa going to make us write an essay… in Spanish? Cassie thought.

“ Well, I’m thinking… how about everyone takes turns, and tell us all at least one interesting thing about your break from school.” She said, and the whole class seemed to be paying full attention- it sounded like a breezy day, so far.

“Except… there’s a catch!” Mrs Delarosa said. And half the class sighed. “I want you to tell us in spanish.”

Knew it… Kind of.

Half the class groaned, while Cassie just sighed. She knew why everyone was upset- this was a combination of two things everyone hated. Speaking a language they're not fluent in, and public speaking. What a nightmare!

She’d be fine… for the most part. She’d been pretty good in Spanish class before everything- getting B’s and A’s in this class. But she knew her time would be spent listening to her classmates struggle. Which was boring . Plus, she didn't like public speaking much…

Honestly- she was already filled with a bunch of second hand embarrassment- and nobody was even up talking yet.

Her prediction was right- it was pretty boring. The stories could've been interesting, if they weren’t marred with errors. But she tried to ignore it, so that the other kids hopefully wouldn't feel self conscious. 

The only interesting bit was when the teacher looked over the desks, and remarked. “Setia’s not here, again…” with a frown. Before cheering up and calling the next student. 

Cassie hadn't realized Setia would be in her Spanish class this year…

Cassie spent most of the time, until her name was called, thinking things over. 

She didn't know if her classmates knew what’d happened to her. 

She didn’t want them to know. 

So, she’d have to think of something different to tell them.

But what?

… I could tell them what I did prior to the Pizzaplex? Except she hadn't done much- mostly spent her time at home, on the computer. She’d made that red sequin skirt… that she wasn’t wearing today. And that Mom would not want her to wear to school ever. 

The other kids might think she was lying, to make her lackluster summer break seem better. 

She could tell them about recovering in rehab, up in Salt Lake City. She wouldn’t have to go into detail about why - and it could get some of the stares off her back. 

… That could be her story. But it wasn’t one she wanted to tell. It just sounded sad.

… 

They don't need to know the reason I went to Salt Lake City was for rehab . I could just pretend I went up for a holiday?

… Yeah. She had an idea. So she felt considerably less stressed about it, now. And could go back to trying not to listen to the stories. 

The only reprieve she had from badly told stories was when Beatrice got up to speak. Her parents had lived in Argentina, so they’d taught her some Spanish at home. 

As much as Cassie didn't want to pay attention, she got caught up in her story.

“... I got to visit my nieces and nephews over the fall break- they live down in Chula Vista, in California. We got to go to the beach, have a barbeque, and everything…”

“That sounds like a lovely holiday, Beatrice. Did you have fun there?’

She nodded. “Yeah. My nieces are very cute. My nephews… not so much! They can be difficult. But it was still fun to see them.”

Mrs Delarosa laughed. “That sounds interesting- thank you for sharing, Beatrice.” 

Beatrice walked back to her table, staring over at Cassie on the way there. Which wasn’t unusual - most kids looked at her now, especially because she was using her wheelchair today.

But most kids would look away when Cassie looked at them- out of embarrassment, she assumed. Not Beatrice. Not today. Her green eyes remained locked to Cassie.

It made her feel weird, like she wanted to shrink back into herself. Especially because she wasn’t sure why .

“Okay, next up is… Cassie Mathers!”

She was grateful she’d decided on a plan earlier, as she rolled up to the front. 

Everybody stared at her now. It was like she was trapped in a spotlight.

Mrs Delarosa tried to redirect the class? “Well, Cassie. It looks like you had a really eventful summer. What happened?” She asked, in Spanish.

Unfortunately, putting her right where she didn't want to be- talking about the Pizzaplex.

… She knew it was a bit rude- especially when a teacher’s asking. But decided to ignore that question, and just tell the story she’d planned on.

“Well, in September, I got to visit Salt Lake City for a bit. It was really fun- I made a friend up there, and got to go bowling and to the zoo. I even got to see fireworks. My friend has horses, and sheep- she lives on a farm!”

Mrs Delarosa smiled down at her. “Very interesting, Cassie! Did you get to see the farm?”

She shook her head. “No… but maybe next time I see her? She showed me some photos. I’d like to see the real place.”

“It sounds like you had a great holiday. Thank you for telling us all. You can head back to your seat now.”

Cassie breathed deeply, and headed back to her seat as the next kid was called up.

Luckily, over half the class had gone by the time she got called up, so it wasn't too long before this icebreaker was over, and Mrs Delarosa gave them some real work. Pretty much everyone looked relieved that was over. 

Time breezed by after that. It didn't feel like it was long before the bell rang, and everyone jumped out of their seats to get to their next class. 

Cassie waited behind a bit- she wasn't going to be able to compete with her classmates to get to the door first, and didn’t want to catch anyone’s ankles with her footrests.

Instead, she thought about her next class. It was literacy, and checking her schedule… It was on the second floor, too. 

She’d been shown the elevator, during that interview with the principal. But had also been told it needed a key to open- that she’d need to ask the office for help to use it. 

She forgot to ask for the key earlier. 

So I’m going to be late again? Great…

“Hey, Cassie?”

That snapped her out of her thoughts. She looked up from her desk, and saw Beatrice waiting beside it. Looking down at her, with a faint smile. 

She didn't understand it. 

“Hi Beatrice. What’s the matter?”

She shook her head a little before responding. “Nothing’s the matter - hey, I just wanted to ask if you wanted to hang out during lunch? It’s been ages… and I bet we have a lot to catch up about!”

Cassie remembered that weird interaction with Holly yesterday, at the lockers. The way the girls had been watching her, during classes they shared. How Beatrice had stared at her earlier. And she wasn't sure whether to say yes , or no.  

“I, um…” 

Beatrice laughed, and put a pale hand on Cassie’s shoulder. Leaning down to whisper to her- “Haven't you missed us? It's been a really long summer for you, huh?”

And the worst bit was… she did miss them still. That's why seeing their photos had hurt so much. 

“... Yeah.” Cassie admitted. 

“Well, in that case, I’ll see you at lunch!” Beatrice said, with a wink. Before standing back up properly, and turning tail. Heading out of class with quick steps. Her long, brown hair flowing loosely as she left.

Out of the corner of her eyes, Cassie could see the teacher watching her, after that exchange. Though she waited until Cassie was leaving before speaking up. 

“... Cassie, is everything okay? Nobody gave you any hassle during class, did they?”

She stopped, so she could answer back. “No, Mrs Delarosa. Nobody was doing anything weird.” 

It wasn’t a lie. Technically . When they’d still been friends, Beatrice would often come up to her table after class- she was really quick at packing up. 

Though, that she was doing it now …

Mrs Delarosa sighed. “That’s okay then. If anyone is ‘being weird’ to you, make sure to let someone know, okay? Nobody should be treating you any differently-”

The bell rang again. Disrupting the conversation, and nearly making Cassie jump out of her chair. 

“Oh crud- I’m gonna be so late-” She started to head out again, until the teacher stopped her again .

“Cassie? Do you want a late slip again?”

She turned back to Mrs Delarosa, and nodded. 

“I’ll fill one out for you- what class are you off to next?”

“Literacy. It's on the second floor, though…”

Mrs Delarosa hummed a bit, while filling out the slip. “Do you know about the elevator?”

Cassie wheeled a bit closer to her desk. “I do- I need to go get a key for it though- I forgot it earlier…”

Mrs Delarosa shook her head. “Oh, no you don’t. All staff members have a key. I have a free period, so I can unlock it for you- just this once, okay?”

“ Really ? Thank you!”

She handed her the slip, and started walking out, beckoning Cassie to follow her. “Make sure to ask your next teacher to unlock it, after class though. Or you’ll be stuck up there.”

“Okay.” 

________

Literacy was just a usual class. The only real notable bit about it was that Cassie got to meet her teacher, Mr Davis. 

And that Mr Davis gave them all a lot of homework at the end of class. 

The good thing was, despite the homework dumped on her shoulders, he seemed nice. At the very least, he accepted her late slip without incident. 

One thing she noticed was that Setia was at homeroom today. They weren't very talkative, though. Shushing Cassie again when she tried to ask them where they’d been earlier.

Cassie wasn't sure what to think of this. It all just seemed… strange, to her.

What is Setia’s deal?

…

She couldn't figure that out. But could at least get started on her literacy homework. Even though the lack of sleep was really catching up to her. 

As homeroom ended, and Cassie had to ask Miss Nichol for help to get downstairs, she figured it out.

Setia was probably having difficulties adjusting, going back to school after Janet’s death. It had only been about a month since the news came out, after all. That would explain them skipping classes, and why teachers didn't seem too bothered by it. Why no one seemed too bothered by it. 

… She wished she could help them. But any chance to do that was long gone- The best way to ‘fix this’ would've been to have not let it out in the first place…

All she could do was go to lunch.

When she got there, she had the same decision to make as yesterday- where was she going to sit? 

She could take up Beatrice’s offer, and sit back at their table. Almost like last year hadn’t happened.

Or, she could go sit with Lawrence, Chris, and Hannah. And experience a repeat of yesterday's awkwardness. 

…

And try to figure out how to follow Andy’s advice.

… She decided to go sit with her old friends, and see what they wanted from her. 

Maybe they do really want to be friends again?

She wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

Luckily for her, Lawrence was facing the other way this time, from the table he and his friends were sitting at. So he didn’t see her head over to the closer table, with her old friends sitting at it. 

Beatrice spotted her first, and waved her over. “Hey, I knew you’d make it! Are you able to sit at the end?” 

Cassie nodded, and pulled into the table. It wasn’t made to have someone sitting at the end like this- but the benches were in the way, otherwise. She grabned her lunchbox from her backpack after she got there. 

She wasn’t sure what to say, really. Thanks for inviting me over, after icing me out for a year? What changed your minds? That would probably fly like a lead balloon. 

But she wasn’t sure she could pretend nothing had happened, either. 

They made the decision for her. Beatrice seemed to notice her discomfort, and slid a magazine, so that they could both see it. (Even if it was too sideways for Cassie to read.) “Did you see this article? About Harris Corduroy?” She said, sounding excited.

Cassie hadn’t . But she remembered how Beatrice had got about this dude- she’d had a crush on this character, even since the book he was from got turned into a movie. And from the somewhat lovestruck look on her face, that hadn’t changed at all. 

“No, what’s happening this time?”

She nearly squealed, before being able to answer. “Oh, nothing major… We’re just getting another sequel! ”

Cassie had to fight off her laughter. “Wait, again? How many of those movies have they made by now?”

Beatrice sighed. Head in her hands. “Oh, about seven now. And in each one, he just gets cuter and cuter!”

“Yeah, because they have to replace the actor when he gets too old .” Holly said, poking Beatrice’s shoulder. 

As Beatrice squawked in indignation, Cassie undid her lunchbox. Same sort of lunch as yesterday. Sandwich, an apple, some strawberries in a container, and another little treat- this time, from Mom- because it had a love heart drawn on the front in marker. It was a packet of licensed jelly beans. But Cassie’s favorite one- the Grape ones, based on Roxy’s fizzyfaz flavor.

“Are they getting close to finishing the books storyline?” Asked Yvonne.

Holly shook her head. “Not even halfway, they’re really milking this franchise.” She took a bite out of her sandwich. Before looking over Beatrice, into Cassie’s lunchbox. “Oh wow, you still have some of those? I thought they got discontinued?”

“In America . They still sell them down South.” Beatrice said. “Betcha primos sent them up, huh?” 

Cassie nodded slightly. Though that wasn’t it at all- she didn’t have cousins down there- Though Andy did- her Mom had been an only child. And they rarely saw Cassie’s Mom’s parents- Mom wasn’t on great terms with them. 

Most likely, Mom had probably ordered a few packets online. Since they came from the same online store she brought some ingredients from.

“Hey, is it okay if we have some?” Yvonne asked, already reaching a tanned hand over her lunch for the packet. 

Just like everything had gone back to normal. 

“Of course you guys can have some.” Cassie said. Like she always said. And Yvonne quickly grabbed it, ripping it open, and distributing it to her friend. Pouring them into their waiting hands. 

“ So much better than cold cafeteria pizza- thanks Cassie!” Beatrice said, holding her small pile. And Yvonne passed back the packet. Now much lighter. Cassie shook it out into her own hand- and two stuck- together jelly beans fell out. The last ones. 

Like usual, really. 

But a small price to pay for good friends! Cassie could remember thinking that, when she was younger. 

And really. It was just grape jelly beans. 

So she shook the nagging feeling off- especially when Holly spoke up- “So. There’s been a lot of rumors about why you had the first quarter off. Though I’m not sure how true they are…” She seemed to be trying to drag out the question, building suspense.

At least, until Yvonne leaned in and popped it like a balloon. “Did you really go to the Pizzaplex?” she asked, while fidgeting with her curly blonde hair.

Cassie felt like a deer in the headlights. All three of them were looking at her. Staring her down. And she wasn’t sure what to say.

‘Yes’ , and she might be confirming she’s a silly baby who can’t let go of her childhood hangout.

‘No’ and she might look like a silly baby who’d been in a different accident. Like getting hit by a car. Or falling out of her bedroom window.

Plus, they'd probably realize she was lying if she did.

So she nodded, and hoped they wouldn’t judge her. Looking down at her lunchbox. 

She didn’t feel very hungry. 

Beatrice let out a low whistle, prompting Cassie to look up. They… looked impressed?  

But they didn’t even like the Pizzaplex anymore. Or Freddy’s in general. 

“Wow, didn’t think you had it in you, Cassie!” Yvonne said, and playfully punched her shoulder. 

“ Knew I was right!” Beatrice cheered. “Seriously- it’s just such a you thing to do!”

“I’ve heard the animatronics there have become really dangerous! Like, I think Monkey tore some boy to pieces? Did they attack you?” Holly said.

His name was Monty .

“Um, it was a bit scary there. But they were nice.” Cassie lied. She didn't want to give Holly more ammo against the animatronics. Even if they couldn't possibly be hurt by it, now.

“I bet it would’ve been scary! You wouldn’t catch me dead in that decrepit old place.” Holly said. 

Cassie laughed, awkwardly. “Well… I nearly caught my death there. So, uhh- good judgment!”

None of them seemed to catch how complicated this was for Cassie. Instead just watching her intently. “So… why’d you go there, Cassie?” Holly asked.

“Was it for bragging rights? A date?” Yvonne asked.

While Beatrice burst into a grin. “Or did you go there to see that overgrown husky again.”

Back in the headlights. And this time she couldn't tell the truth. Because none of her friends liked Gregory. And none of them would understand wanting to go save him. 

“Well, uh…”

They just kept looking at her. As her heart beat louder and louder in her chest. 

So she lied. Admittedly, stealing Andy’s idea.

“I went there to meet up with this guy. He was so cute- he’s in grade nine, and he lives in St George . She whispered so that no teachers could hear, while trying to sound confident. 

And all her friends' jaws dropped . And she burst into a grin.

“ No way - what were you two doing there?!” Beatrice asked.

“Just. Uh. Y’know- a date.”

“ Sure, Cassie. ‘Just a date.’ In an abandoned building. Sure. ” Holly teased. 

“So romantic.” Yvonne said, with a sigh.

“Like hell it is! Clearly it wasn’t romantic- look at her, Yvonne!” Beatrice said, pointing to Cassie. “Did this dude try to kill you or something?”

… She got the feeling she’d really messed up by lying. 

“No, no! He didn’t do anything like that… I fell. And that’s how I got hurt.”

They all just looked at her.

“... That makes sense. The whole place seems like it’s falling apart- I’ve heard there’s a sinkhole underneath it.” Holly said. “One of my cousins went there for repairs just after the earthquake, and she nearly fell into the earth when a hole opened up just in front of her.”

“Does the cute guy still talk to you, Cassie?” Asked Yvonne. 

She shook her head, seeing an out. “Uh, no. I haven’t heard from him since.”

Yvonne looked like her heart was breaking. Even Beatrice looked a bit sad for her. “Oh Cassie… that’s awful !” Yvonne whispered, hands clenched together. “Just because you’re all… y’know , doesn’t mean he should’ve ditched you!”

She laughed at that. Because otherwise, it would’ve been too awkward. “Yeah, true… What did you girls do over summer break?” She asked. Hoping to get the spotlight off her, and her lie. 

And everyone burst out about their summer break.

“I got to go to summer camp for two weeks-”

“We all did - to Camp Summer Dream. It was so cool- ”

“We got to practice all sorts of crafty things. Like scrapbooking, and even made some dreamcatchers...”

“And when we got back, we hung out at that new salon- and the theater too!” 

“And Yvonne had her birthday- we got to go camping for it up at Zion-”

“And for fall break we got to go swimming at the beach - when Beatrice’s Mom and Dad took us to Cali.”

Cassie hadn’t realized that trip wasn't just Beatrice’s family.

“Holly even met a cute guy while we were there- she has photos of him.” Beatrice said, poking Holly in her shoulder. 

Holly blushed. “It was just a crush! We don’t really talk anymore…”

They rattled off every fun thing they’d done together over the past few months- sleepovers, and camping, and fun days spent together…

It just reminded Cassie of the distance between her, and them. 

Why do they want to be friends now?

“... but your summer break was also really interesting, Cassie.” Holly said, as they ran out of things to talk about. “Everyone at school’s been curious about you- you’ve been the big mystery of this year.”

“Yeah- like Chris was a few years back!” Yvonne said. 

“Except unlike him, you actually know how to talk .” Beatrice said, with a grin. “We should hang out again more often- maybe one day soon?”

… 

“Yeah, maybe after halloween…” Cassie said.

And Holly tilted her head. “I thought you were free for halloween? Did you want to go with us?”

“You could dress up as Oracle. And I could push your chair!” Beatrice said. 

Cassie didn’t know who Oracle was-  

“It’s just, I said I’d go with Lawrence.” Cassie said. 

“Who’s Lawrence?” Holly asked. 

Cassie could feel her palms start to sweat.

“He’s that boy, over at that table.” Beatrice pointed out. And Holly and Yvonne both looked. “I saw you sitting with him yesterday… When did you two meet? Lawrence doesn’t really talk much.”

She couldn’t figure out a way to lie about this. “We met at the hospital. He’s nice.”

Holly pursed her lips. “I dunno… he seems kinda childish . He has a Monkey backpack on his chair.”

“... I can see why you like him.” Beatrice said. 

“Well, he’s nice! He likes music, and he’s funny…” Cassie tried to explain. “You’d like him if you talked to him.” 

“Maybe. He seems okay in band class.” Yvonne said. “But he has a teacher’s aide… and his friends … yikes. I’d talk to him more in class, if he didn’t hang around them.”

Nobody said anything else about it, but Cassie could tell from their faces that Holly and Beatrice were thinking the same thing.

“... Would you want to sit with him, one day? Who knows- You might have something in common…” Cassie asked.  

They looked amongst each other, before looking back at Cassie. “ Maybe. But he’s got to lose the hanger-ons at least . The last thing I want to do is spend my lunch with Hannah .” Beatrice said. 

The bell rang. And they all started packing up, ready to go to their next classes. Except Cassie, whose mind was in a whirl.

“Hey, umm. Did you want to hang out after halloween, maybe?” Cassie asked, again.

“Yeah, sure. One day. We’ll see you next time, Cassie!” Beatrice said.

And then they left. 

________

Cassie wasn’t sure about how to feel about that strange situation.

On one hand, she’d got to talk to her old friends again. And they were just like they had been- to the point where it almost felt like a year hadn’t passed them by.

… On the other hand, they’d confused her a lot. It was like they wanted to know her again? But… she didn’t want to get her hopes up. 

She would’ve asked if she could’ve joined them for halloween. If she hadn’t already made plans with Lawrence. 

All she could do was kick herself -

Oh well, got to focus on Science.

… except it was really difficult to focus on her work. 

All she could think about was meeting up with Lawrence after school. And how, more than ever, she needed to follow Andy’s advice. 

Maybe Mom had been right to keep those photos. Maybe she had been too hasty. Maybe she really stood a chance of being their friend again. 

But not if she hung out with Hannah and Chris. She could maybe get herself and Lawrence into their friend group. 

Maybe. 

Lawrence is nice. He’s not weird, he’s good with people…

She wondered if he had ever wanted to be more popular? Because, if he did, could she appeal to that idea?

Andy had this figured out. If Cassie wanted to have new friends, and Lawrence too, then she would need to figure out how to follow that advice. 

Preferably, before he comes over tomorrow. 

________

Cassie felt so left behind when she got to Home Ec, because her classmates had their creations from the first quarter all hung up in the room for display. While she had nothing to show yet. 

She'd at least got to meet her new teacher there- a young man named Ethan. He'd asked Cassie not to call him by his last name. "Mr Swan is my dad's name. It makes me feel a hundred-and-three."

He’d given them no homework- thank goodness- but the classwork had been some basic practice with the sewing machines, getting everyone who hadn't used one before some confidence. 

Except Cassie had used one before. So it was fairly boring. 

At least he promised, next class there’d be something a bit more substantial.

When she got out of school, she’d been expecting Andy to pick her up. But her car wasn't there. Instead, Mom’s car was. Cassie could see Mom standing just behind it, talking to a nearby parent. She, like Andy, had parked in the disability bay without a placard.

As Cassie got closer, she could hear some of the conversation. 

“- Well, if you don’t have one, you shouldn’t be here! For all I know, you're lying about her.”

“I’m not going to be here for long, my daughter will be out soon-”

None of them had seen her, they were too focused on their argument. 

She decided to change that. “Hi, Mom.”

That got their attention. The other parent looked a little sheepish, as they backed up. While Mom glanced at her, before returning to the lady. “Like I said, this is my daughter. It’s not as simple as ‘some broken bones’.”

“Yeah, well… you should still have a placard…” the lady said, before huffing and walking away. 

Mom shook her head, before helping Cassie get into the car. “Sorry you had to hear that, Cassie. I’m getting a placard- but it’s taking longer than expected…”

“It’s okay, Mom.” She said, as she got into the front seat. Mom went to go out the chair away in the boot, before heading around to the driver’s seat. 

As they waited to leave the school, Mom asked her some questions. “How was school today? 

“Yeah, school was okay. It was a B day today- so I had Spanish and Sewing.”

“Oh, that would have been a fun day.” Mom said, with a laugh. 

“Not really.” Cassie whispered. When Mom looked at her, she spoke up. “Because it was the first classes back from break, they were kind of boring. Nothing much happened.”

Mom flashed her a quick smile, before reaching out to push some loose curls behind her ear. “Well, hopefully things will get interesting tomorrow… speaking of tomorrow, Lawrence’s Mom got back to me, about coming over after school. She’ll be happy to bring him by tomorrow. But I’ve let her know it conflicts with work for me, and that Andy will be there watching you until I get home.”

That gave Cassie something to look forward to, for tomorrow. Halloween preparations with Lawrence.

________

School the next day wasn't much different from the first day, except Cassie had her P.E uniform, and had arranged to bring both mobility aids to school. 

‘If I use the crutches in P.E, I can do exercises easier. If I use the wheelchair before and after, I won’t be as exhausted.’ She’d told Mom earlier. 

Mom had agreed, and had helped her bring in her crutches to keep at the office.  

Which was a good thing- because it had been another night of limited sleep. Not as bad as last night- she’d slept about six hours, from checking the time on her phone when she woke up at three am. But she hadnt been able to get back to sleep afterwards. Instead, she’d been ruminating, and thinking over her plan. 

She’d sat with Lawrence, Hannah, and Chris during lunch today. But hadn’t said much. Hannah tried showing her some more birds she’d drawn- but she’d been too zoned out to really take them in. She’d just focused on eating her lunch, and responding to Lawrence when he’d ask her questions. 

She hadn’t put her plan into action back then- she couldn’t, with Chris and Hannah both there. 

But now, she could put that plan into action. At least, if her queasy stomach let her.

When Lawrence arrived, Cassie let him in through the garage roller-door. 

He was there, with his Mom helping push his chair up the driveway. Waving at her with a huge smile on his face. 

“Hey Cassie- wow! Your house is so cool!”

“Thank you!” Though , she thought to herself, you haven't seen the inside yet. 

Once he was on flat ground, Lawrence's mom let him go, and he scooted towards Cassie. “I’ve been thinking really hard- and have some great ideas on my phone! I’ll show you when we get in!”

She nodded, and leaned heavily on her crutches. As she let Lawrence and his Mom go through the door first.

“When I talked to your mother over the phone, she told me she’d be working this afternoon. But that there would be someone else at home- are they around?” Lawrence's Mom asked, looking around the living room. She’d kicked off her shoes in the doorway, just before entering the house proper. 

“Yeah- my big sister Andy’s here! She’s an adult and she’s looking after me- do you want me to get her?”

“That would be wonderful . Sorry- I just like to know who I’m leaving my son with.” She said.

Cassie nodded. She got it- at least, as much as she could ‘get it’. She walked out towards the stairs, where she could hear Andy’s awful music faintly flowing down, and called up them- “Andy! Mrs Smith is here! She’d like to talk to you!”

For a moment, Cassie thought she’d have to go up the stairs to get Andy. Because there was no sign she’d heard Cassie over her music. Until she heard it go silent. “Okay, okay . Be down in a jiff!”

Cassie shook her head, and went back to report to Mrs Smith, who had taken a seat on the couch to wait. “Andy will be down soon. Um. Do you two want a glass of water? Or juice?” She tried remembering what her Mom had taught her about being a good host. 

“Oh, no thank you, sweetie. I should be fine for now.” Mrs Smith said. 

Cassie could see Lawrence about to vibrate out of his chair, while trying to wait. 

Luckily, they weren’t waiting long- Andy rumbled down the stairs in a cascade of footsteps. Cassie worried she’d managed to fall down them- until she peaked around the doorframe, looking a little frazzled. It must be wash day . “Good afternoon! You must be Mrs Smith?” Andy said, putting on a decent imitation of Mom. Possibly by accident.

“I am, it’s nice to meet you. You must be Andy?”

Cassie tried to fight off a snicker as Andy and Mrs Lawrence talked together. Lawrence could pick up on something strange going on- Cassie could tell from the confused look he was giving her. But he didn’t comment. 

Meanwhile, Andy hadn’t noticed yet… until she did. Looking at Cassie with squinted eyes and a barely visible blush on her cheeks. Before resuming her conversation with Mrs Smith. Who seemed to be none the wiser. 

“... Our mother will be home by dinnertime. Did Lawrence want to stay and have dinner with us? I’ll be making some spaghetti.

Mrs Smith glanced over to Lawrence. “Well, would you like to stay for dinner, sweetie?”

He nearly jumped out of his chair. “Yeah! That’d be great!’

Andy laughed. “That answers that!”

“In that case, I will leave you all to it.” Said Mrs Smith. She got up from the couch, and kissed Lawrence on the cheek. “I’ll be back later, okay? Be a good boy, and have fun!”

He nodded, and waved as she left. 

And the second she was out the door, and Andy had shut the garage door, she turned to Cassie. With her hands on her hips. “Got something to say, punk?”

Now Cassie really couldn’t help snickering. “Yeah. You sound like our Mom. Soon, you’ll be clicking your tongue and bragging about how well your tomatoes are growing.” 

Andy rolled her eyes, as Lawrence joined in with laughing. “The only tomatoes I’ll be growing are the ones I’m gonna hurl at your head! So watch your back, Cassie!”

“Do it, and I’ll whack you with one of these!” Cassie said, waving around one of her crutches. 

“I’ll kick them out from under you.”

“I’ll bite your ankles while I’m down there.”

Andy shook her head, trying to keep a grin off her face. “Geez… guess that’s why they call kids ‘ankle biters’, huh? Oh well- one day, you two will be old too! And you’ll sound like Mom as well, Cassie.”

Her eyes widened at the thought. “No way!”

“ Yes way!” Andy said, crossing her arms. “And it’ll be sooner than you expect. I bet you’ll sound like some old granny. You already kinda do, some times…”

“Nope- we’re gonna stay young forever!” Lawrence said, through his laughs. 

Andy addressed him, now. “Keep telling yourself that, kid.”

He nodded. “I will!”

She shook her head and sighed, as Cassie burst into more giggles. “Geez… oh well, I’m done arguing with you rugrats. Have fun- but don't explode the house. Or light any fires, Cassie .” Cassie cringed in her seat- Mom must have told Andy about her… little fireside adventure. “I’ll be in my room for a bit.”

And then she walked out, back into the hallway. Cassie could hear her clomping up the stairs, as usual. 

Once they’d calmed down, Cassie asked Lawrence “I’ve got my sewing kit set up in the kitchen. Plus, a magazine with some ideas for costumes. Do you want to talk more about Halloween there?”

He nodded, and they went there. Cassie pulled a chair to the side, so he’d have room to sit next to her, instead of down the end in Dad’s old spot. Then once she was sat down with him, he showed her his phone. 

“I’m not sure what costumes Hannah and Chris are gonna have,” Cassie had to fight back a groan. “But I reckon you and me- we could try and match! I’ve got some ideas on my phone…"

Cassie looked at the first idea he was showing her- Monty and Roxy, in their glamrock forms. A splendid idea, except, well…

She could still see Roxy’s mangled endoskeleton, torn free of her casing. Going as Roxy, as she used to be… felt a bit wrong now. 

“Do you have any other ideas?”

He nodded, and flicked through with his thumb. One of them was Raggedy Andy and Anne. There was a suggestion about two ghosts… a werewolf and a vampire…

“Umm, maybe we should think of something else?” Cassie said. She really didn’t want to trick or treat as Raggedy Anne. Though, the ghosts at least would be easy to make…

Lawrence looked puzzled. “Well, maybe we could…”

Unfortunately, nothing he suggested really appealed to Cassie. And nothing Cassie suggested really appealed to Lawrence. They were still talking about it and flicking through Cassie’s magazine, when Andy came in to start preparing dinner.

“We could always go as Dorothy and the Scarecrow…” Lawrence said, pointing to one of the suggestions in her magazine.

“... Do you want to be the Scarecrow?”

“...Not really.”

They continued suggesting ideas for a while, until Lawrence groaned and laid his head on the table.

Cassie also felt frustrated- and was starting to think she’d been optimistic about getting her sewing kit out. She’d been hoping she could start tonight.

“Sorry, I don’t have any more ideas for this stuff.” Lawrence murmured against the table. 

Cassie didn’t know what to suggest at this point, either. She spun some loose hair around her finger, trying to make an idea spring from nowhere. Think, Cassie, think!

“Hey, Cassie?” She looked up at Andy, letting her hair spring away from her fidgeting. “You considered just going as Roxy?”

“Well yeah… but it’d feel weird after everything.” She admitted to Andy. “That's why I said no earlier.”

She seemed to be thinking for a moment, knife in hand hovering over some green pepper on the cutting board. “Well, try a different Freddy’s character? You could go as Bonnie, or as Chica- doesn’t have to be their glamrock forms.” 

She thought about this. “I could… maybe go as Circus Baby.” After a bit more thought, this seemed very possible. “Yeah- I could make the outfit, use some red hair chalk… it could be interesting.”

“And then I could go as Monty!” Lawrence cried, picking his head up from the table. He had the gleam in his eyes back now.

“Yeah, Monty… put some red hair chalk in your hair, make it a mohawk, and it’d match really well.” Cassie said. Now she was getting excited again.

Heck, thinking about it, she could wear her red sequin skirt- with a little white petticoat underneath. If she used her white leggings, a white long-sleeve, and made a new sequined shrug to go over the top… she’d look pretty similar to Circus Baby.

All she’d have to make was that shrug- and she knew she had some leftover material, from making the skirt over the holidays. 

With that, they were able to start planning out their outfits for Halloween. However, Cassie knew she didn’t have the material to make the scale-print pants for Lawrence. She let him know.

“I could always go looking for some with Mom tomorrow, after band practice. Would that help you?” He asked.

She nodded. “That would be really helpful. I think I’ve already got the material I need for my costume. So I can work on mine, then work on yours afterwards.”

He beamed at that. “This is going to be so cool- especially with Hannah and Chris there!” Cassie tried to hide her disappointment, as he kept going. “I think Hannah’s going as a witch? And Chris is going as a hippie again, from what he told me.”

She didn’t really want to talk about Lawrence’s friends. Not right now. So, she tried to change the subject. “Hey, are you going to be using your chair for Halloween? If you are, it’d still really fit Monty.”

He looked away for a moment, thinking it over. “If I’m not having a good day- but I should be allowed to walk around more by then. And it’s not a long walk- it’ll only be inside my apartment block. What about you?” he asked. 

“I’m hoping I’ll be able to walk it. Because if I can, the skirt will look better if I’m standing than sitting.”

“The red sparkly one you had at the hospital?” Lawrence guessed. 

“Yeah! It’ll fit perfectly with a Circus Baby outfit. Unless I ruffle up the sequins- I’ll just need to keep an eye on them.”

“Even if the sequins get flipped, I know my neighbors will love your costume!” Lawrence said, looking wistful. “They decorate as much as they can, and make the hallways look really spooky.”

“How long have they been doing that for?” Cassie asked. 

“For as long as we’ve lived there. My big brother used to take me out for trick or treating, before…” he trailed off, looking distant. Before refocusing, after he saw Cassie looking at him. “Now I go with my friends, and it’s nice. Its not the same , but it’s still nice.”

Around this time, Andy interrupted. Standing near the stove, with the lid on. “Hey, I’m gonna let this simmer on low for a while. Cassie, can you keep an ear out for it while I finish with my hair?”

She agreed, and Andy left back towards the stairs. Leaving them the perfect opportunity to talk about this awkward subject. Even if Cassie didn’t feel ready yet. 

I’m not going to be able to put this off anymore, huh?

“Hey, Lawrence?”

“Yeah, Cassie?”

… All she could do was go for it. 

“How long have you been friends with Hannah and Chris?”

His eyes gleamed at that question, matching the smile on his face. “I’ve known them since intermediate school- so about… two and a bit years now?”

“Wow, I thought you may have known them for longer.” She said, trying not to sound relieved. 

It seemed she succeeded, because Lawrence kept smiling, and nodded. “Yeah, they’ve been really good friends! I’m really glad I met them.”

That set her back a bit. But she needed to keep going- don't chicken out now! “So, what drew you to Hannah and Chris?”

Please don’t have an answer.

And it looked like he didn’t really have an answer, considering how he twisted up his mouth, and had to think about it. “It’s just, well… they're nice to me? Nothing really drew me to them. I'm not sure what you mean?” He then changed the topic. “Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask- well, I’m not trying to pry, but- what happened to you at lunch yesterday? I didn’t see you at all.”

She had been hoping he wouldn’t ask something like that. “Um, I sat with Holly, Yvonne, and Beatrice. They asked me to, in Spanish class.”

The reaction she expected never happened- instead, she got a smile off Lawrence, and a chirpy reply. “I’m just happy you weren’t lonely yesterday. It’s good to have more friends- didn’t you used to hang out with them in Intermediate?” 

“Yeah, we used to be friends. From when I started Elementary, until around last year.” She decided not to go into why they’d had a gap. “We used to hang out every lunch at school, and most days after school too. Sleepovers, and slumber parties… we got along so well.” 

He looked enraptured by her story. Even if it was missing some key details. “Wow, you girls must've been close!”

“We were.” Time to put her ideas into action. “Hey, when. I was talking to them earlier, I talked a bit about you.”

His smile dropped away. “They weren’t making fun of me, were they?”

She shook her head, quickly. “No, no, no- nothing like that! I was talking about how nice you are, and about how you’ve been a great friend while I was in hospital.”

That seemed to ease his worries, at least. 

“Anyway, I asked them if you could hang out with them too.” This was where it could all go wrong, so she’d have to tread carefully. “And they said they’d be happy to sit with you for lunch, and stuff…”

It was hard to get a read on what Lawrence was thinking right now. But he had a smile on his face. 

“But they don’t want to sit with Chris and Hannah.” She quickly followed that up with. “But you don’t have to sit with my friends every lunch! You could still sit with your old friends sometimes, if you wanted!”

She felt a bit bad for lying to him. But this was the advice Andy had given her. 

“I dunno… I don’t think we have a lot in common. Maybe I’m not the best fit for them?”

She shook her head. And didn’t understand his objection- he doesn't have much in common with Hannah or Chris either! “No, you’d be perfect . You just don't know them yet! They’re nice- Yvonne’s also in band class- and they all love music, so… you’d get along really well! Plus, they’re fairly popular- make friends with them, and you could make a whole lot of friends!”

His expression was unreadable. She wasn't sure if she was getting through to him, or whether…

But he was still smiling-

“You think I could be popular?”

And Cassie sighed with relief. “Yes, you could .”

Silence. Silence that prompted Cassie into blurting out- “You could be- because you’re not like Chris and Hannah. Like- you’ve been great , being friends with them for so long. Nobody else could be that patient- but you can do better- ”

The first sign he was angry was how his eye twitched.

She shut up. But way too late. 

‘ Don’t just come out saying ‘you need to leave your friends’- people hate that.’  

She’d screwed up - sure, she hadn’t said exactly that, but she’d said something close enough to that.

And his smile fell away. Not to a frown, but something neutral. 

It didn't look neutral on him.

“Lawrence-”

“I think I need to go home early. I’m not feeling well. Hey, I’ll see you at school tomorrow, okay?”

Her stomach plummeted. 

As he pushed back, turned, and headed for the arch leading to the hallway.

“Hey- wait! I’m sorry, I didn't mean that-”

He turned back to look at her. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye.” 

Then he left. 

She got up, and saw him go out into the garage. And when she got close, she could hear him on the phone to his Mom, asking to be picked up.

She’d really messed up. And she didn't know how to fix it.

********

Authors note- The title of this chapter is from Ghost and Pals song, Housewife Radio.

[andvys]

omg im back!! this is super long so im sorry for taking up your whole inbox but if you can't already tell im a huge fan of dwoht!! honey anon ❤️

He watches you for a moment, eyes tracing the spots that aren’t hidden by the covers. His fingers itch as he stares at your soft skin. He notices the scar on your shoulder, the one that a bat left, the one that you ripped off of him, saving him from a wound it would have left on his abdomen if you hadn’t saved him – you took the scar that was meant for him. 

waittt that's so romantic 🤭

All that you do is turn around in your sleep, holding onto the sheets as you stay deeply asleep. 

oh she's me

What will you think when you wake up to an empty bed? 

knowing Andy it will probably be a prelude to angst, Steve... should've known it by now 😁

He puts on a pair of gray sweatpants and a black shirt, taking his time styling his hair while his mind is still all over the place. He puts on his favorite cologne, hoping that it will drive you crazy just the way your perfume drives him crazy. 

gray sweatpants?? pics or didn't happen

“You are not a stray, but you are a cat, girl,” Argyle says to you as he steps inside, patting Steve on the shoulder, “always got her claws out, right man?” 

i fucking love Argyle 😭 hongyle or argoney is our ship name now

“Maybe you’re the one who doesn’t know how to fuck.” You murmur, narrowing your eyes at him.

oooh that hurt him

He brings his hand forward, letting go of your head so he can cup your cheek, before you can even finish your sentence or react to his touch, he leans forward and smashes his lips against yours, finally kissing you with his eyes closed and his body now pressed against yours. 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

He could just slip inside of you with ease, you’re wet enough to take him but he still wants to stretch you open with his fingers first. 

oh okay ! good for them.... good for them.... 😭

“Like hell that was a one time thing,” he mumbles against your lips as he grabs your waist with both hands and picks you up without a struggle. 

YAAAAAY TELL HER

“Y-You came inside of me…” You mumble, dropping your arms to your sides. 

NOT THEM BEING SO IRRESPONSIBLE 😭😭

“I’m not on the pill, Steve!” You frown at him, pushing him away from you so you can brush past him. 

GIRL BYE HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAVA

He didn’t put much thought into how awkward it would be to ask for a Plan B, but the moment he asked the old lady behind the counter, and she looked at him disapprovingly, he suddenly wished for the ground to swallow him WHOLE

NOT THE OLD LADY TOO AHAHAHAHA THIS IS SENDING ME

“You should go to church and pray, boy.”

GOODBYE 😭😭

“Well, we fucked.” 

this is so funny to me because of the chaos and awkwardness 😭 imagine fucking you lifelong nemesis almost getting pregnant with him 😭

“Well, there isn’t,” he shrugs, “I see whoever I want and you do… the same.” He almost chokes on his own words. 

NO STEVE THAT’S NOT HOW YOU GET THE GIRL!!

How many girls have occupied this space before? 

:(( poor blondie

You shut out your negative thoughts, letting your curiosity in. You tiptoe across his room and stop in front of his bookshelf – that’s filled with more comics and movies than books. A polaroid camera sitting on the shelf, next to a fake plant. Of course, he got himself a fake plant. 

not his ugly ass grandpa straight man alpha room 😭

He cracks a smile at your words, eyes flashing with amusement, “didn’t know Eddie was my girlfriend.” 

BAHAHAHA BUT HE IS

Neither of you called. 

nooooo 😭

You could’ve called too, he even told you to, but for some reason, you thought that it was just another way to tease you, you heard the mocking tone in his voice, you saw the smirk he looked at you with. 

no girly don't let him use you !!!

“...Chandler…”

CHANDLER??? 😭😭😭😭 OF ALL NAMES FUCKING CHANDLER IM CRYING

But your eyes nearly bulge out of your skull and you almost choke on the sip you just took when Eddie’s eyes grow comically wide as he takes a look at Steve’s back. Your best friend’s jaw drops before a gasp falls from his lips. 

GOODBYE THIS WHOLE THING IS SO AMUSING TO ME 😭😭 i can see the drink squirting out of eddie's nose

“I know we haven’t talked much, but um… I was wondering– cause… I love Robin, seriously but– okay um…” she stutters, closing her eyes for a moment as she shakes her head before she opens her eyes again and looks back up, “I was gonna ask if you would like to go shopping with me?” 

OMG YES

Suddenly, Steve lunges forward, using the hand that just hid his eye to grab yours, he opens both eyes and greets you with a smirk before he pulls you into the water. 

omg they're cute when they're not idiots 😭

“I’m just saying, I’m not even speaking out of experience, dude,” Argyle slurs, holding his hands up in surrender, “I think you can’t have sex with just one person and be happy with it – how can you even know what’s good when you’ve only been with one person!?” 

thats literally such a man thing to say. we're OVER argyle

With a sigh, you lean back in your chair, and look at your best friend, “fine… eight.” 

GIRL EIGHT?? EIGHT WHERE?? SPILL

And, Steve… Oh, Steve is really not having the best time tonight. He knows exactly who you mean, Jacob Leeney. 

he sounds like a douchebag

No matter how fast his lips move against yours, he isn’t the one in control today, and he knows it, he can feel it… and to his surprise, he doesn’t mind it. 

YEAH you know your place boy

But just as he’s about to break the kiss to start begging for you to touch him, you roughly pull away and take a step back from him, leaving him without the warmth you just provided him with. 

SHOW HIM GIRL SHOW HIM

“You’re basically the older version of Max,” he grins, “you’re both stubborn and act all cold even though you’re the biggest softies at heart.” 

AAA that's so cute i love max

Jennifer Mitchell stands in front of Steve in all her glory, clad in a short sundress, her boobs are nearly on full display, her dark waves falling down her tanned back as she twirls the front strand around her finger, she glances back at you when the bell above the door goes off, her plump lips are the first thing you look at – god, you can’t even lie to yourself and think that she isn't gorgeous, because she is, you’re not blind. 

JENNIFER GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

But you aren’t, you aren’t the only one, you aren’t the special one, you aren’t enough for him. 

oh i have an idea! kick steve in the balls 😁

He licks his lips as he eyes the top you’re wearing, low cut and stopping just below your belly button, showing off your cleavage and your soft skin. You replaced your skirt with shorts that are even shorter than what you wore before, but they look much more comfortable, soft and perfect to… sleep in. He can’t wait to rip them off of you and dive his face into your pussy.

OH! OKAY! 😁

“Mmm, can’t remember it that well,” he shrugs, sipping his beer, “so maybe I should refresh my memory a bit.”

shove that beer up his a-

“Did Jennifer do this to you, Steve?” You murmur against his skin as you press another soft kiss to his scar, “or did she just lay there, making you do all the work?” 

SHES SO POSSESSIVE ITS KINDA ICONIC

“Ah,” you nod as a smirk reappears on your lips, “that confirms that no one ever rode you before.”

omg you basically took his virginity 😁

“Steve is gay.” 

BAHAHAHAHAHA SHERLOCK HAS NOTHING ON YOU GIRL!!

Nancy has been nothing but kind and sweet to you, and you can’t help but feel guilt and regret growing inside of you for the way you once felt about her. 

she's actually the cutest ever

“You’re the prettiest girl at this party.” 

jacob is giving where the hell have you been loca

“You plan on fucking him tonight, Blondie?” He sneers, unable to hide the bitterness in his voice. 

GOODBYE i thought it was blondie talking to steve 😭

“New rule then, Blondie,” he mumbles, not stopping with the kisses on your neck, “we leave with each other when we are at the same place. So, meaning today it’s me.” 

ummm... just say you're exclusive you DUMBASS 😭

“Stevie, Stevie, Stevie!” 

AWWW CUTIES (says while ignoring this being screamed during rough sex)

“I know, baby, I know.” 

STOP THIS IS GENUINELY CUTE (and very hot i got butterflies)

“Well, did you think I’d let him steal you away from me…?” He asks, clearing his throat as he adds, “tonight?” 

go hit your head against the wall steve 😁

You turn around when your name is being called again, to find Jacob walking towards you. Oh. 

HAHAHA FUCK YOU JACOB (oh except she didn't 🤭)

“Get out.” He demands, not nicely. 

now blondie should do the thing they do in gta when they pull someone out of the car and steal it

“Would you prefer a wheelchair?” He laughs, not noticing the stunned look on your face, as you open and close your mouth a few times. “I’ll be right back, Blondie,” he shoots you a smile before he opens the door, letting light seep into the room from the bright hallway, he takes another glance at you over his shoulder before he steps out and makes his way into the bathroom. 

THE WHEELCHAIR MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD HAHAHA

You are so devastatingly beautiful.

and you're still not making a damn MOVE. men 😫

“Oh wait, you probably don’t want to get it wet again,” Steve mumbles, as he looks around the room, knowing that you left your hair clip here after your shower last night. He finds it on the counter and reaches for it. 

that's what she said

You crane your neck, looking at the plate before him, excitement flashes in your eyes, “I love waffles.”

I LOVE WAFFLES TOO

“I know you do,” he says, smiling. “What do you want with them, berries and syrup?” 

now steve needs to make me waffles too 😞

“Oh my god, Steve.” You hold your hand in front of your mouth after swallowing the first bite, looking at him in awe.

that's what she said

“That’s how you sounded last night,” he wiggles his eyebrows. 

OMG STOP THAT WAS MY JOKE

“You eat your waffles with nutella?” 

i haven't had nutella in years and now im so hungry

The sweetness of the waffle, the chocolate and the freshness of the berry, burst in your mouth, creating the perfect combination. Your eyes widen, and you sit back as you hold your hand in front of your mouth after releasing the fork from your lips. You moan at the taste and take your time savoring the flavors.

reading this at night wasn't the best idea i think . . .

“Last time I checked, I didn’t have a vagina. I think you know that fact pretty well.”  

you have a mental one 😁

“Oh?” You tilt your head, “and where’d you learn how to cook?” 

i read this as "where'd you learn how to cock"

“You’re italian?” 

HE'S ITALIAN LETS GOO!!!! STEVE GO MAKE ME A LASAGNE!!!!!!

“And my cooking skills,” he smiles, nodding. “I’m gonna knock you off your feet, the next time you stay over, I’ll cook you the best pasta you ever had.” 

I WOULD ACTUALLY PROPOSE RIGHT THERE

He stepped into an empty house after fighting against evil. 

this is so heartbreaking nooo 💔💔

He had no one to come home to. 

i can adopt you steve if you make pasta for me

“We don’t have to fuck, Blondie. You can let me eat your pussy though, it’ll help her recover.” 

is this a safe space to admit it's kinda hot when he refers to it as her lmao 😭

You pout as you turn around to face him, looking down at yourself, “wow, this is the real walk of shame.” 

FOR REAL I CAN PICTURE HER LIMPING IN HIS CLOTHES TO HIS CAR 😭

You reach for the seatbelt, buckling it in as you take a deep breath, though instead of exhaling again, you freeze and your eyes widen. The smell of sex still lingers deeply in the car. 

ew you both 😭

“Couldn’t you have taken five minutes to clean up a bit?” 

REMIND THE KIDS AND ROBIN TO NEVER. NEVER! SIT IN THE BACK OF HIS CAR.

“Good, I’m glad,” she nods, “we decided to do a barbecue instead of movie night, so I hope you’re hungry.” 

IM STARVING READING THIS CHAPTER. stevie do you wanna make me a burger

“Yeah, Argyle is attempting to make cocktails.”

i can think of something else involving argyle and coc—

He nods, scoffing slightly as he starts to take it out, letting his hair fall loose around his face, “well you see, I didn’t steal it, rather, I found it. Right–” He pauses as he walks over further into Steve’s room, turning away from the both of you, he slams the scrunchie on the dresser and turns back, the smile now missing, “--Here.”

BUSTEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDD

“Dating?” Steve scoffs, chuckling a little as he crosses his arms over his chest. “Fuck no, it’s just sex.”

FUCK NO? oh im gonna show you fuck no you little bitch

“It’s just sex, Munson,” he says, with an unsure tone in his voice, and a bitter taste on his tongue, that he swallows harshly. “Nothing more.” 

HIT HIM IN THE BALLS

You have no experience with babies at all, you have given her the bottle, you even changed her diaper, but your sister was around, and you didn’t spend the whole day alone with her. 

you're stronger than me girl cause i would not agree 😭

This is surely one of his dreams, he is convinced of it, why else would he wake up beside you, and a baby who looks like you?

NO ESCAPE FROM THIS ONE STEVE. but also imagine if you wake up after having sex with a girl to a sight of her holding a baby that looks like her 😭 i would have a heart attack

You look at him, as you pull your niece closer, holding her up, you press her against your chest, “can you believe that we made a baby overnight?” 

HAHAHA IM SAYINGGG

Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrt

GOOODBYEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭

“Oh fuck,” he mumbles before his eyes widen further at the curse word that just left his lips, “I shouldn’t have said that, shit– I mean, I’m sorry, please forget what I just said,” he rambles, as though she understood a single thing that he said. 

THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY I CANNOT SKEJOSBDIS

Realization replaces the look in your eyes – he is entering a baby fever trance, with your niece nonetheless. It makes your smile reappear, that’s how you feel too, every time you get to spend time with her. 

couldn't be me but good for you steve!!

“Just a little bit,” you slur, and raise your hand to show him as you furrow your brows and hold your thumb and pointer finger into an L shape, “so much.” 

GIRL 😭😭 if you do something embarrassing now i SWEAR

“Yeah, I think so too, honey,” he murmurs, the nickname rolling off his tongue easily, almost normal, “you don’t feel sick, do you?” 

HONEY MENTION I HEAR MY NAMEEE 😁

“Billy did,” you shrug. 

OH NOO

Your eyes crinkle as you beam at him, stealing his breath away with simple reactions like these. 

AND IN THE BLINK OF A CRINKLING EYE

Steve Harrington is down bad. 

NOW HE'S DOWN BAD CRYING IN THE GYM

“You’re feeling okay though, right?” He whispers as he slowly brings his hand up to the side of your face and he cups your cheek. 

and then she just vomits on him— im sorry

“But nothing could take me away from you, he’d just have to suck it up,” you whisper as you peck his lips again, shutting down the worries in his head. 

AAAAAAAAAA OKAY IT'S HAPPENING

And then, you finally pull him into a longer kiss. 

THEYRE KISSING THEYRE KISSING SNSJSHEOBEISJSIW

“Can I be with you tonight?”

THEYRE SO CUTE 🥹🥹

“You really think I’m that disgusting?” Steve asks, not bothering to hide the hurt in his voice. 

OOOH DRAMA TIME

“Eat at least half of that.” He commands and you just grumble something, cutely so, underneath your breath as you take a bite. He knew you probably didn’t eat anything at the fair, a possible reason for your drunkenness.

if she doesn't want it i can eat!!

He doesn’t notice that you had turned your head to look at him again, and a wolf whistle is heard in the room, making him turn to look at you. You have a cheeky smile on your face and he feels himself blushing slightly as he laughs, taking his pants off next, leaving him in boxers only. 

LMAOOO SHES SO FUNNY

“Can’t believe I fell for you, Blondie.”

AAA THE FLUFF THIS IS ADORABLE I CANNOT 😭❤️

HIIIIII!!! PLEASE DONT EVER APOLOGIZE FOR THAT? YOU CAN SPAM MY INBOX ALL YOU WANT, YOU'RE WELCOME TO DO THAT ANYTIME ♡ I'm so happy you like this series so much!!!! YOUR REACTIONS HAD ME GIGGLING AND LAUGHING THE WHOLE TIME

THANK YOU FOR THIS REVIEW YOU JUST MADE MY DAY 😭

THE WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN LOCA COMMENT MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD LDJAWFAJWLFAJFR

I love how you went from giving yourself and argyle a ship name to saying its over LMAO

No one should ever sit in the backseat again, I agree with you 🤭

and honey, you know this is always a safe space 😌

I love all your comments 😭 THANK YOU AGAIN 🩷 I think you're gonna like the next chapter A LOT 😌

[ranveer--singh]

The nights are tasteless without you: part 6 ~ Ari Levinson fic

A/N - This is my first proper multiple chapter story which came to me while watching a Bollywood movie. It is set in Mumbai India where Ari is a professor at a university meets a person of colour - Marathi girl at the train station. There will be other Chris Evans characters as professors and Henry Cavill   characters as professors  

Warning: Please read this before reading the story. 18+, smut, sex… etc

Ari's alarm rang, making him moan as the noise was too loud. He yawned, getting up and rubbing his eyes walking towards the bathroom. He had a massive headache and quickly showered, brushed his teeth before making a strong cup of coffee.

20 minutes later he was sitting in his car driving to work, there was so much traffic all the horn sounds were making his head hurt. While sitting in traffic, he opened the glove compartment and took two ibuprofen and downed the last of his coffee. 

Shortly after, he arrived at the university. Ari parked his car, grabbing his bag and ID, putting on his sunglasses before walking in. He scanned his ID, going through the barriers and rushed straight to the staff room for another cup of coffee. 

He poured himself a large mug of coffee, taking his sunglasses off and walked over to Steve, Jenson, Andy, Clark and Frank who all stood near the vending machine. He said his hello looking at everyone just staring at him. Steve broke the silence and spoke, 

"How did the wife take it that you came home drunk," Steve said, patting his back and getting Ari to choke on his coffee. 

"What? I'm not married. What are you talking about," Ari said, his eyes widened looking at the men all shocked. 

"So who was the lady who kept calling you last night then," Jenson said curiously, thinking he would have a shot with her. Ari grabbed his phone out of his back pocket and looked at the calls from last night, and blushed.  

"Look he is blushing just thinking of her," Frank said, making the others chuckle. 

"Yeah Ari tell us who she is," Steve said, elbowing Ari.

"It's no one guys, just a friend," Ari said not wanting to talk about this anymore. 

"Was it the girl you were moaning in your sleep," Jensen said, making Ari quirk an eyebrow at him.

"What, when did I do that," Ari said, confused about the whole situation. Jensen took his phone out and played a video of Ari sleeping in the back of the car and August holding his head up, you can hear him moan her name. Ari blushed, wanting to disappear into a black whole, while few of the others laughed. 

"Oh no, Ari has a crush," Colin and Jensen said in unison, making Ari again blush, his feelings for Nadfy growing stronger. 

"So Ari who is she, if she is not your wife. We are all friends here," Frank said. 

"She is just a friend, I met her at the train station on my first day to work. The way she walked onto the platform, her hair blowing in the wind. It took my breath away,"

"You are in love, you are in love," Clark sang, and everyone chuckled singing along.

"No guys, stop it" he said, wanting to hide away from the rowdy schoolboy kids who are professors. The university bell rang, and most of the teachers left to go teach while Ari and Andy had the first period off so went to the canteen to get some food.

"Everything ok Ari," Andy said sitting down with a bowl of chaat in front of him.

"Kinda man, you know Maddy. You know the girl you met at the clothes shop. I like her a lot," Ari quickly said, taking a few gulps of his coffee. 

"That's nice, have you asked her out," Andy said after taking another spoonful of chaat in his mouth. 

"No man, what if she will reject me," Ari said, scratching the back of his head. 

"I don't think she will, why don't you try," Andy said, letting Ari try some of the chaat. 

"Andy, can I ask about your love story," Ari said, seeing a huge smile across Andy's face. 

"Of course you can, we have been married for 4 years this Saturday. I met her at a Gujarati festival navratri 6 years ago. My close friends where all going to this festival and wanted me to join them. I was reluctant at first but then putting the Indian outfit on and learning dandiya with my friends was so fun. I saw Y/N dance, doing all those intricate moves that mesmerized me. I even asked her to do dandiya with me, at first she said no but later on joined my friends and it was love at first sight," Andy said his heart beating fast and a high grin plastered on his face. 

"That all sounds wonderful Andy, what does she do," Ari said watching Andy talk with such joy in his voice. 

"She is my cutie 5ft nerd. She is a web designer/coder working for World India, here let me show you some pictures," Andy said, grabning his phone and unlocking it to show Ari pictures of his wife, smiling while explaining each photo. 

"She looks beautiful Andy, I want the same with Maddy," he said looking at Andy's smile shutting his phone.

"Ari you like Maddy a lot, I can see from the way you talk about her to me. Ask her out man, if you don't then how will she know you like her," Andy said seeing Ari look nervous and worried.

"I haven't ask out a girl in a long time, what if she says no," Ari said rubbing his eyes, yawning. 

"Why don't you facetime her, talk about random things first then tell her you really like her and like to go on a date. See where the conversation goes and take it from there," Andy said, getting up to get a little more chaat. 

"If she agrees, any ideas for a first date. I haven't dated anyone in 4 years," Ari said looking at Andy who was willing to help him out. 

"You could call her to your place and cook for her. Make something simple and talk about life back home. Make the date comfortable for the both off you," Andy said and Ari nodded his head somewhat agreeing to what he said. 

"What shall I cook her, I'm not a great cook you know," Ari said scratching the back of his head. 

"Simple, let me send you a recipe I made my wife on the first date, it was tacos and she loved it," Andy said smiling at Ari who looked nervous. 

"I love tacos, they shouldn't be that hard to make, do send me the recipe," Ari said thinking of making some margaritas to drink. 

"Oh and Ari, if you run through any issues, send me a text and my wife and I will come over to help out," Andy said looking at his watch to see it was nearly time for his lesson. 

"Oh before we leave to go teach, I have been talking about you a lot to my wife and she would like to invite you over for dinner. If you're free on Thursday evening, I can take you straight after class. She is making her famous Khichdi and Kadhi, you will love it," Andy said and Ari grabbed his phone to look at his calendar to see if he was free and agreed to come over for dinner. 

Both of them went opposite directions to their class to start teaching. It was going to be a long day and all Ari could think about was Maddy. 

[wickedpact]

Yes for the knife/lil spoon thing!!

I never understood why people made it about that though. In any ship there's always talk about who's the big/little spoon, and people always put the one that they wanna see babied or who's softest as the lil one; in this, we have confirmation in not 1 but 2 scenes, but people still Go "it's for protection"! No bitch, it's because is their FAVORITE POSITION! spooning is not even comfortable, especially for the big spoon, my boyfriend used to complain about his numb arm, cricked neck and "inconvenient erection" all the time! Which makes the fact that is their favorite position EVEN SOFTER! Like, i don't doubt it for a second that they both would have each other's back in a minute, but saying the spooning is for protection it's just really disappointing, because exactly like you said, there are other more convenient, practical ways for nicky to do that, and it diminishes the softness of it, you know? And is nice to have in mind that it is FANON!

HONESTLY re: spooning not even being comfortable is SO funny to me bc realistically speaking youre absolutely right like. these 2 are fully clothed, in JEANS, the position theyre in on the train looks SO stiff and uncozy, you cant tell me that joe having a leg between nicky’s at the safehouse wasnt super uncomfortable with all that denim, and they both prolly wake up MAD sweaty on their backs/chests

AND YET THEY DO IT ANYWAY

and like. the thing tht Gets me is.. they heal, right, they have Big Healing Powers, so if they Wanna sleep in a way that gives them cramps or stiff muscles...... they Can, bc theyd heal the damage as soon as it happens

AND THE FACT that joe at some point in his life, stepped back and said, ‘ive got these supernatural powers to heal any damage wrought upon my body almost instantly.......................... im gonna use these powers to Cuddle’ is just the MOST on-brand joe thing ever it kills me

[bellsnuit]

Unexpected future: Andy Barber/ reader (5/6)

Summary:As a single mother of a six-year-old, you decide to move out after realizing that his father, Ari Levinson, simply didn't have you both as a priority.In the twists and turns of life, you meet Andy Barber but your job makes things complicated, especially when you work with his son and see his ex-wife several times.

If you like, I would be so grateful if you reblog or comments to interact ( I love to share your thoughts) Also, let me know if you wanna be tagged on every chapter to be remembered.

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... 

On Sunday, Andy knocked on the door of Laurie's house with Jacob sleeping in his arms. He had fallen asleep in the car even though it was only a couple of blocks away. When the woman opened the door, she let Andy in and he went straight to his son's room. That wasn't enough, he went back down to the living room where Laurie was.

"Friday I was called before school dismissal time" Laurie turned her attention to him quickly.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

Andy looked at her and thought for a few seconds, "Laurie, I think you understand that Jacob can read. And he's a very smart boy. And I... I was going to come to talk to you because I'm starting a relationship" he saw how it was what she didn't expect at that moment " but I didn't expect at all that the boy would find out before you did."

"I'm not-" Laurie was a little overwhelmed, surprised, even embarrassed. Andy gave her room to continue "I'm sorry, Andy. But really...really with her?"

"Yes, Laurie. It's with her" he assured nodding "I met her and then the things of life led to her. And after the fact that kids aren't stupid, well...you know. They both know."

Laurie just nodded "Okay. Umh, could you leave?" Andy nodded and walked out, but ended up at the door of your house. He knocked, and the door opened, letting him see Mason who promptly let him in. Andy frowned, "And you can open the door?"

Mason wrinkled his nose as Andy walked past, closing the door behind him. "Mom's taking a bath, and I saw you through the keyhole. I guess I can open it to you."

Andy smiled as he watched the boy sit on the couch. "What are you watching?"

"SpongeBob. Want to sit?" Mason tapped his side of the couch and Andy nodded, sitting down next to him. He watched him, remembering how he'd been extremely quiet since Friday. It wasn't like that, at least it never had been with him, and now that he knew his mother was in a relationship, he was afraid Mason would hold a grudge. He was a kid, he could understand that. Especially one who hadn't counted much in his life with any figure other than his mother in the house. And there was Andy, for the first time in the house alone with him and you, even if you were in the shower. "Are you going to stay over tonight?"

Andy looked at him "Umh, I don't think so. No, you don't have to worry about that" he spoke leaning back on the couch.

Mason looked at him with a grimace "I'm not worried. It's fine."

"Oh well, no. You have school tomorrow, I'm working, your mother too."

"That doesn't matter. Mom looks happy that you're home. You can come over anytime" Andy smiled at the boy.

"Thanks, champ" Andy fiddled with Mason's hair, watching as the boy smiled despite the absence of his front teeth. The stairs rattled and they both turned to see you coming down, wearing a long t-shirt and shorts. 

"Andy" you spoke with a smile, not knowing it was coming.

"Mom, it's cold," Mason wrinkled his nose and Andy nodded.

"Too cold" added this one in agreement with the boy.

"Don't be grumpy" you reproached both of them. "See SpongeBob?" Andy stepped aside, allowing you to sit in the middle. "Everything okay?" you asked in a whisper to Andy, who nodded placing his arm behind the couch. You leaned back, pulled your feet up onto the couch, and looked at Mason. "Did you finish your snack, sweetie?" Mason nodded glancing at you. And after that, he laid his head in your lap as he stirred to get comfortable. You smiled and felt Andy's hand caress your shoulder, the three of you watching cartoons on TV. And slowly, you laid your head on his chest. "Did you fight with her?" you whispered as you nuzzled Mason's head.

"I didn't," he muttered but took a breath, "It was just... weird. She even looked embarrassed. I don't know" this one kissed the crown of your head.

"Do you want to stay tonight?" you murmured and felt a faint chuckle from him. 

"That's the second proposal I've gotten since I got here" you looked at him and he nodded. "Even Mason asked me."

"Well, then I guess you're going to say yes" you whispered and he nodded. "I promise I'll get you up tomorrow so you won't be late for work."

... 

The next day, you stirred in bed when Andy did. His arms released you and you groaned, but he placed a kiss on the crown of your head. "I'm going to take a bath" you nodded, seeing as how it was still early but you let him go. 

A few minutes later, Andy came back out of the bathroom in the same clothes but showered. He saw how you were still sound asleep, so he walked towards Mason's room. He was surprised to see him sitting on the bed, already dressed, and trying to tie his shoelaces. 

"Good morning, champ."

"Good morning" the boy looked up quickly, but then focused on his shoelaces again. 

"Do you want some help?"

"Please" Andy smiled walking into the room and kneeling in front of the boy. "I don't know how to do that."

"Oh look, it's easy. First, you cross them, then you pass it underneath, then two bunny ears and another knot" the boy frowned. You, for your part, got up at the sound of the voices. You leaned against the door to Mason's room, watching as Andy explained to the boy how to tie his shoelaces. "Almost, do it one more time" he assured. There was a minute of silence.

"I did it! Andy, I did it!" the boy cheered and you felt Andy laugh.

"Yes, yes you did."

You smiled "Does that triumph merit a good breakfast?"

They both saw you "Mom I was able to tie my shoelaces!"

"And I saw it" you assured with a smile.

And from that day on, you forgot to know what the despair of being alone felt like.

... 

Three months later, you had come to terms with the fact that Andy was living with you. It might sound crazy, but you didn't even think about it much, especially since you'd already made a place for his life.

Mornings woke up to see Andy making breakfast while Mason talked to him, watching them interact until all afternoon. Sometimes you were seeing patients, and you could feel Andy watching TV with him, sometimes working while you were with him, or sometimes both of you in the kitchen. And it felt good to have someone on the side who understood your life, who was comfortable with your life and loved you, just like he did with Mason. And the boy quickly got used to the presence of his mother's boyfriend who he saw every day, and he was the father figure that he had in the house. You'd even catch your breath sometimes as you deepened your thoughts and watched Andy play ball with him, or go on errands.

Also, things hadn't been easy: Mason had stopped going to Laurie's house to play with Jacob, and the reasons were obvious. Both had never exchanged a word again after her apology for the messages Jacob had inadvertently leaked. 

All of that, though, also included Andy asking for more than the weekend with Jacob: Mason's room was now occupied by a bunk bed so that Jacob could live there on Fridays and weekends as well, both boys refusing to sleep in separate rooms and occupy the spare room.

And the house had completely changed. Mason's closet was now his and his "brother's," which at first was weird and seemed so fast, but that's how they felt. Toys were shared, and they seemed to want to do everything together.

Your room... sometimes you wanted to hang Andy for being so messy but then you remembered how your whole life had been in some order. His papers were on a desk in your room - because he said it wasn't necessary to take up the spare room. Shit, you'd have been happier if he did that and didn't leave everything in the room - his clothes sometimes took up your closet space because he just put away them where he wanted them. 

But those little things, they were evened out, like when every morning he'd go get coffee for both of you, and when he didn't have time, you'd go to the cafeteria together after dropping off the kids, or Mason alone, and he'd drop you off at the house again. When he always arrived at the same time and promised Mason the soccer games, or when you were late with patients and he had dinner ready.

Mason changed his attitude, and you noticed how lonely he felt whenever you were working. Now he wasn't, Andy used to be with him. You also noticed how he didn't ask about his father, you didn't think it was because it didn't cross his mind, you just assumed that he didn't need his male figure in the house anymore because Andy had taken a place that Ari, unfortunately, never had.

And being the Friday that it was, Andy was taking a bath after going for a run like he did every morning, and you had woken both boys up to get dressed, laying their clothes on each edge of the bed and kissing both of their heads. Oh, Jacob was so sweet to you too, sometimes you just wanted the weekend to come so you could spend it with the three boys.

The shower stopped running as you stepped back into your room to change out of your pajamas, pulling on a t-shirt with a skirt, feeling the summer brush against your toes, and thinking about the vacation Andy had planned. Your flat shoes clacked on the stairs as you descended, but the sound of the door opening made every part of you bristle. And standing on the bottom steps, you knew who it was when a quadrille shirt walked by. Your breath left you, seeing Ari whose eyes met yours, his hair falling into his face.

"Ari" you spoke, you didn't expect to see him, you never did, but less so now when the last envelopes that came with money were from his boss. It had been seven months since you'd seen him, so Mason hadn't either.

"I... I used the key you always keep in the second pot" he frowned "not very safe that is, by the way."

"I didn't know you were coming."

"I know I had to get here, but I got here in the early hours of the morning and I wanted to see Mason," and that's when their gazes collided even harder at the male voice. "Nice house."

"Mason, Jacob, please don't throw things out now" a knock on the frame "Both need to be ready by now, I don't understand why aren't" Andy's rushed morning voice echoed from everywhere. "Mason, I saw you, take that out of your backpack, you know you can't bring that to school" you weren't even close to being able to utter a word because you weren't taking in the situation, and immediately you heard Andy move closer and closer, his shoes sounding "Love, I bought coffee and I'm sure you'll love this tas-" the image of Andy in his formal wear, and in the middle of tying his tie, made you cross your eyes with him, who only looked surprised.

"Oh my bad" you saw Ari who scratched his neck, clearly surprised.

Andy finished descending the stairs, glancing at you quickly seeing that you were okay. Knowing it had been months since you had seen him. "Andy Barber" he introduced himself stretching out his hand. 

Ari pressed his lips together, shaking his hand too "Ari Levinson" Andy nodded, making it clear that he knew. He took a step back when he felt the sounds of small children's feet.

"Dad" Mason jumped off the ladder running to him. Ari smiled as he leaned down to grab him, and lifted him.

"How big you are, little one," the boy hid his face in his father's neck, hugging him tightly.

"Mason, your daddy's here!" celebrated Jacob and Ari looked at the boy with a certain smile.

"Jacob, let's go to the kitchen" Andy muttered giving you a look that you just nodded, making it clear that the routine had changed. 

You exchanged glances with Ari, but he only moved with his lips to see his son's face parting.

"I missed you, Dad."

"Me too, son, me too. How have you been?"

Mason nodded with a smile "Alright. Did you see the new house mom bought?"

"It's big and cute, do you like it?" Mason nodded and brought his hands up to his father's cheek. 

"You're hurt."

"Old hurt" Ari shrugged back to attack his son's cheek, who let out a laugh. "Were you going to school?"

"Yeah" Mason nodded and then looked at his mother "But not anymore, right?" you got the look from both of them, and just shrugged.

"You're staying with me today" Ari smiled at his son, pressing his lips to his cheek again. You scratched the bridge of your nose, watching the scene. Mason however stirred in his father's arms to put him down.

"I have to go tell Jacob I'm not going to class" when Ari put him down, you watched as the boy ran into the kitchen.

"I... I didn't know."

"I know" you assured him and denied, downplaying it "You just didn't know, it's okay" Ari nodded, his eyes locked on you, and you could see the pain. He always looked at you in pain, but this time it was different, this time you simply didn't feel pain, only pity. 

Mason came running in again, carrying two cookies, and handed them to his father.

"Here, Andy said to bring you" a slight smile escaped your lips, sensing Andy and Jacob's murmur, possibly the adult keeping the child occupied. "Mom, Jacob said to pass me the school stuff."

"It's okay, sweetie. Don't worry about it" you assured with a certain smile, then looked at Ari "You're taking him?"

"Yeah... if you let me yeah" you nodded, crossing your arms with a smile not showing your teeth. "Then can I talk to you?" you nodded as you squatted down, procuring for your fault, and Mason walked over to you. You ruffled his hair with a smile :

"Behave yourself and enjoy" you kissed his forehead, keeping a kiss on his forehead.

"I love you mommy" Mason smiled and instead of running off to Ari, he ran to the kitchen. You felt Andy's sound of surprise, the one he always made when the kids jumped in to hug him tightly.

"Andy, my dad's here."

"I know, you're going to take the day off huh? Enjoy it" you peeked your head out to see Andy stroking Mason's back "Be a good boy."

"Brother, tell me how today's episode ends," Mason's voice made me smile lowering my gaze.

"Sure thing, bro" Andy and you always laughed at the way they called each other, you shook your head in amusement to see Mason walk away with a smile. 

"I'm ready, Dad."

"Then let's go," was the best Ari could do, aware that this time he didn't have you to himself. That was the first time in four years, that he realized how he had lost. But he walked out the door, leaving you, watching these go. Your eyes filled with tears and you raised your head to the ceiling, biting your lip.

"Honey," Andy's voice coming closer made you look at him. He looked at you with some sympathy.

"I know Mason is going to be sad again when he leaves" Andy's arms wrapped around you, holding you back. He kissed your forehead.

"We all are going to be for him" you rested your head on Andy's chest, feeling his pounding heartbeat. You rested your hand on his chest.

"I love you" you whispered against his lips in your head.

"I love you too. Do you want me to stay home with you today?"

You denied "No, no, I... I'm just going to work, you do the same. I have lunch off, can I go to lunch with you?"

"Of course you do" you pulled away from Andy and cradled your hands on his face to deposit a small kiss on his lips. 

"Let's go before the coffee gets cold."

Mason's absence in the afternoon hit home hard. It had never happened that he wasn't around for an afternoon unless he went to a birthday with Jacob, or to another friend's house with Jacob as well. Even Andy felt the emptiness on the couch when after dinner, you sat in front of the TV for the evening of movies - Jacob lay his head in your lap and you lay with your head on Andy's chest, your eyes closing tighter and tighter as Andy pressed his lips to your temple. "You fall asleep" he teased in a whisper. You smiled, your eyes closed, pressing your hand tighter on his chest.

"Jacob is sleeping" you murmured, running your hands through the boy's hair.

"He too" Andy assured, separating himself to confirm that his son was sleeping.

The door rattled this time and you sighed. Andy rubbed your back and you stood up, carefully taking Jacob's head and mumbling a "Shh."

"Do you want me to go upstairs?" you looked at Andy with a frown and denied obvious. Opening the door, you watched as Mason slept in Ari's arms who gave you a look. 

"Oh, really asleep" Ari nodded. "Uhm, can I leave him in his bed?" 

"Please" you let this one pass and didn't avoid looking into the dark living room, with the television lighting, and Andy with Jacob sleeping in the middle of the couch, clearly marking how you had gotten up from there.

Ari moved his head to climb the stairs, following you. "This is it" you walked into the room, letting Ari get acquainted with the house. "The bottom bunk" you clarified so he could carefully kneel and deposit the boy on the bed, a little rough but all in all the boy still slept. You waited in the doorway of the room, watching as he took off Mason's shoes and opened the bed to cover him. He kissed his head for a few seconds and you looked away: there weren't enough kisses to occupy his absence. And that bothered you about him. It made you so angry.

"It's a nice room" Ari walked out closing the door.

"No" you spoke before the door closed and he looked at you confused "He doesn't like to sleep with the door closed. He's afraid to wake up and see it closed"

"Right, sorry" Ari swept his gaze completely over you. "I... I have to ask... did you move in with him since you came to this town?"

"No, I met Andy here. Mason and Jacob are classmates." 

"Yeah, he spoke very highly of Jacob" he nodded and shook his head "Also of Andy" you shook your head, and noises from the staircase sounded making the two of you watch. You saw Jacob walk sleepily. 

"Hey, Jacob, what's up honey?" you saw how sleepy the boy was.

"I- daddy was in the kitchen, I want to go to the bathroom" you took the boy by the shoulders and walked him down the hall, turning on the light and shutting the door. Ari looked back at you and you looked back at him.

"How long are you going to stay?"

"I don't know. I... I haven't been assigned anything yet."

You nodded and went to speak, but the sound of the water opening and closing made you turn around to see Jacob come back out, shuffling his feet. "Goodnight" Jacob hugged you sleepily.

"Do you want me to walk you to bed?" the boy denied, and still drowsily opened the door, and by reflex, did not close it. "Can we go downstairs?"

"Sure" Ari nodded and went downstairs, watching as the man was arranging the cushions on the couch.

"Jacob went to sleep," you said to Andy. He looked at you, nodding. 

"Right. I put water on to boil, I don't know, for some tea or coffee" you nodded with a smile and he shook his head. "I'll be upstairs" Andy turned to Ari and reached out his hand again. "My pleasure."

"Same," Ari shook his hand again and watched as this one climbed the stairs. And it was so weird to him, and it hurt so much. 

"Do you want tea or coffee?"

"Tea" he nodded as he followed you into the kitchen. "He's a good man. Very formal too."

"He's not as formal as he seems" you turned your back to Ari as you looked for the cups "He just knows things, he wasn't expecting you and he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable" you clarified leaving the sugar on the table where Ari had sat. He didn't take his eyes off you: you didn't understand how he always arrived with the hope that you would welcome him alone, with open arms. Yes, you always ended up receiving him like that and letting yourself be carried away by melancholy and loneliness, despite being separated, you let him kiss you and hug your body under the sheets, but this time it was different and you wanted to make that clear to him. "Ari, please," you asked.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he lowered his gaze and took a breath "I just didn't... I didn't expect it. It hurts."

"You couldn't expect me to always wait for you" yes, he did. And that was the problem.

"I know, and I understand that you have stability. A nice house, a good life partner, a stable job... let's be honest, you've got the family made."

"I think I deserve it" you looked at him and felt how you were breaking his heart into a thousand pieces. Just as he had once done to you.

"I would be unable to say otherwise" he assured as he watched you pour both cups with the water.

"Ari, I want to make something clear to you" he looked at you as you sat down. "It's been seven months since Mason last saw you, it's been three months since he stopped asking about you. You're never even close, Ari."

"Please don't say the same old thing" you saw the pain in him.

"No, no, this is different" his gaze collided with yours, and you were serious to blurt out the truth "I sit here and wait for you to leave so I can fix the remains of the child you leave empty every time you leave. It's always been the same, but now I'm not alone. I also want you to understand that...Mason is growing up for the first time with a father figure" Ari pulled his body back in the chair, feeling scissors dig into his chest. "You're going to leave again, Andy's going to stay. No...I don't want you to be surprised one day if Mason doesn't get you and he gets angry. He lives with Andy every day, he understands that Jacob has a father present and he doesn't. Mason demanded for a long time something that now, Andy gave him. Mason grew up, and I will be unable to say a bad thing about you, but he will begin to resent you every time he understands the situation. You're his hero, Ari. You're his hero but not his father."

The man bit his lip "At it again, are we?"

"No Ari, I'm not asking you to choose anymore. It's too late, for you to choose" you clarified and your gaze crossed his. "I just...I want you to know that I'm going to put Mason ahead of anything."

"And when he hates me I'm supposed to just walk away?"

You shrugged "If you do that, you're going to disappoint me even more Ari. And you're going to disappoint him, who believed that one day you were going to come back for us."

And you watched as the pain built up in his body "Shit!" his cry of fury was accompanied by a thump on the table. You looked away from him. "If I was going to come back for you guys. I thought-" he stopped talking as you watched Andy walk by completely serious. You made contact with him and Ari looked up at the ceiling, catching his breath and stopping talking. Andy had come down worried with that punch.

"It's all okay, Andy" you muttered.

"Sorry, I'm impulsive" Ari even turned his gaze towards Andy "I'm impulsive but I would never hit her" Andy only relaxed when you nodded looking at him. Still, you knew he hadn't gone upstairs, he'd just stayed on the couch: if there was one thing you knew, it was from Andy's childhood where his father had beaten his mother. And that made Andy hate violence, and it was more than clear that he wasn't going to be calm with leaving you alone with him. "I don't have anything anymore, I can't quit the job."

"Ari, I asked you that once. I'm not going to ask you again. I just want to put myself in a place as a psychologist and make it clear to you how that works and it's going to work."

"You warn me it's possible I'll stop being his father and he'll turn," Ari gestured out of the kitchen.

"No, I told you that your absence made Mason know what it's like to have a father figure, and he's going to grow up and realize that you're not his. It doesn't mean you won't bond, but when Mason is nine, ten, or twelve, your visits every seven months aren't going to be enough. I think if you want to be present in his life, you have to change your ways. You've even sent him a letter, Ari. He learned to read a year ago but you wouldn't even know that."

"I know I've been a shitty father, I know that!" his voice rose in pitch, and realizing this, he took a sip of his tea, but rejected the cup and slid it back, causing it to fall on the table without breaking, but spilling the tea. 

"Shit, Ari, shit" you stood up quickly before the hot liquid overflowed onto your legs. This one sighed as Andy walked into the kitchen quickly, seeing you standing carefully. Ari sighed, curling his face as the man entered.

"I think it's late" Andy's words echoed in the kitchen as he picked up a cleaning rag and placed it on the table, standing in front of you. He saw Ari, who rubbed his eyes stressed "Too late and it's been a long day" Ari crossed his gaze with Andy and then saw you, behind him. He nodded, grabbing his jacket and standing up.

"Yeah, it's late" Ari picked up the cup and set it down in the sink "Sorry. I'll finish talking tomorrow" and without another word, you felt the door close. You let out a sigh and Andy turned around. 

"I'm sorry, but it made me nervous" he admitted and you nodded, bringing your hand to his arm to make it clear that everything was okay "Did you get burned?"

You shook your head and carried the cup towards the sink as well. "Let's go to bed, please."

Andy nodded and followed you in, turning off the downstairs lights and making sure the door was locked. And by the time he entered the room, you were climbing into bed wearing one of his t-shirts. Andy closed the door and stripped down to his boxers to lie next to you, and without a word, you snuggled into his chest. "Andy" you murmured and he brought his hands to caress your back "thanks for being. Loneliness sucks" your eyes glazed over and he squeezed you tighter as he felt the tear fall on his bare chest. "I don't want to be lonely, I don't... I don't want you to leave me."

"I promise you, you're not going to get me out of your life that easy. Not anymore," he kissed your head.

And just as predictably, Ari left again, only a month later. He promised Mason to come back, but as he had been warned, all he got was a loud tantrum. "Shut up, shut up, and go away!" Mason put his hands to his ears, and you just watched with tears in your eyes at Ari, wanting to punch him with all his might. Ari knelt in front of him, "Hey, Mason, son," he muttered.

"I promise I'll be back by the end of the school year, I'll come to get you" He didn't, but lucky for you, Mason even kept that unfinished promise and was happy when Andy carried him at the end of the year along with Jacob, while you took the picture.

Mason shoved his father and ran off, however, hugging Andy by the hips who was in the door frame. "Mason, champ," Andy murmured, aware that he had never seen the boy suffer so much. Mason broke down more in tears and you wiped your tears away, looking at Ari.

"Ari, just go away. He's going to keep crying" you denied and watched as tears gathered in his eyes. Ari nodded, aware that you weren't going to hug him. "Travel safe" you muttered. And as Ari got into the cab, you could see Andy pick up Mason, who quickly hid in his chest and stroked his back. 

"It's okay, bud. It's okay," Andy muttered walking into the house as you were already approaching to go inside. And when you did, Andy was carrying Mason in his arms, with him tucked in. This one turned to look at you, totally pained to see your son like that. Andy made a slight smile towards you "Will you come with me to surprise your mother and let's go buy her something yummy to eat?" you smiled, knowing it was no excuse other than to take the boy out and distract him, even though it was almost ten o'clock at night.

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Taglist: @gitasor@patzammit@un-mondo-meraviglioso@iluxionsworld@maylaysia109 @l0st-in-reality @wishfulwithwine @marvelmenwhore@crazyunsexycool@golden-library @peaceinourtime82 @reeferheadedwoman

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Don't Speak 37

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, stalking, manipulation, reclusive behaviour, disordered eating, dissociation, allusions to abuse, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Reader is a reclusive loner who ventures down to the library on a simple mission. Her task is complicated by the man she meets there. (f!short!reader)

Character: librarian!Andy Barber

Note: Get ready for Andrew Barber's masterclass in manipulation.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

Your disbelief gives way to panic. You gulp and gasp for breath as you collapse onto the carpet, hugging yourself as you sink into horror. You’re repulsed by your own body, trapped in your own skin. A monster. Just as horrible as you always suspected.

Selfish, worthless, thoughtless. Your doubts calcify to certainty. You are a bad person.

But you don’t want to be. You never wanted to be. How can you be so terrible despite your best efforts? You have to be better. You have to try harder.

You heave and lift yourself on a shaky arm, rubbing your damp cheek as you sniffle and look around. Your head throbs but you won’t be sleeping that night. The violent churning in your stomach won’t let you. You don’t deserve to rest. You have too much to do.

You get up on tremulous legs. You find it hard to balance as the swirling haze of wine turns to a groggy pulsing in your temples. You massage them as each step sends a thump through your skull. You try to shake it off but it only gets worse.

You move carefully. You did this to yourself. You drank even after Andy warned you not to. You ignored him all day like a spoiled child. You did whatever you wanted and then you… hurt him.

You start with the kitchen. It’s already tidy from Amber’s help but you wipe down the counters to be certain, then you get out the mop, leaning heavily on it as you sponge the tile to sparkling. You move on to the dining room; surfaces, floors, and even the curtains. You sus out every speck of dust and dirt.

You find yourself sitting, folded over as you cradle your head and catch your breath. You’re weak and shaky but you keep going. You get up and return to the front room. You give pause before the couch, the throw pillows knocked this way and that, one on the floor. You tidy them and refold the blanket on the back neatly.

It’s too late to vacuum but you do your best to sweep around the edge of the carpet. You go to the mantel and straighten the ornaments that seemed to distract Steve that day. You stop at the thought of the doctor and nearly sob. What do you tell him? How do you tell him what you did? He would know what you are. What would he think?

Your teeth chatter despite the warm air. It’s not the temperature but your own fatigue that sets you to shiver. You carry on, making a careful progress through the large house. You suffer over every inch. You don’t know how else to show your remorse but to make everything perfect. Everything but yourself. You will never be perfect, you are inextricably broken.

The dawn rises and you let yourself rest in the bathroom. You rinse your face in cold water, trying to wake up. You take some painkillers for the beating in your skull and grip the sides of the sink, weary and worn.

A flicker catches your eye. You glance over at the white shower speaker. He must’ve replaced the batteries. You stand straight and roll your shoulders back. You’re not done. You will never be done. This task, not the cleaning, no, but you, trying to fix you, that’s something you’ll always have to work on. 

You go back to the hall and stop short. You peer down towards the bedroom door; Andy’s. It’s silent and the edges are dark. You shudder out a breath and cross to the guest room. 

You enter the solemn space and search for a new outfit. You pick out something he bought for you, that you know he’ll like. You tuck a white blouse into the brown corduroy skirt that buttons up the front. You match the outfit with a pair of stockings to warm your tingling legs.

You emerge, feeling stronger but hardly better. You descend the stairs, his silence and the stillness of the house suffocating you. You drag your feet into the kitchen and tie the apron on as you begin. You take out one of the cookbooks and search for the perfect breakfast.

The hours pass swiftly as you set to work. You focus on each ingredient, each step, as you put together the pieces. A quiche with the most perfect savoury crust. The scents rising around you tug on your stomach, the dregs of wine leaving your stomach barren and acidic.

You brew coffee and put together a tray. A mug, a plate of quiche, fruit salad, napkins, and cutler. You balance it all and turn to the long journey upstairs. It feels like a treacherous path. You fear you might not reach your destination and you wouldn’t be surprised if you’re turned away.

You stop at Andy’s door, like the gates of some vaunted castle, and swallow down your fears. You knock with your foot, careful not to cause too much of a clatter. No answer comes as you stew in the silence of the large house.

You turn your shoulder to the door and lean in, “Andy?”

Your call wilts into the still air and you wait. You clear your throat and try again, speaking louder this time. The crackle of your voice is harsh amid the empty lull. You listen, a rustle coming from the other side, and a sniffle. 

Your heart catches in your throat as you face the door head on. The lock clicks as the handle turns back and a small slat of space opens between the edge and frame. Your eyes meet Andy’s single on, peeking out sheepishly.

“Good morning,” you try to be chipper, “can I… I brought you breakfast.”

He stares and blinks. His gaze falls to the tray in your hand. There’s a glisten across his iris.

“Andy,” you sniff, “I’m very sorry about last night.”

He closes the door and you stand dumbly in your dejection. You look down at the tray. You’re stupid to think food could solve the problem. That you could ever apologise thoroughly for your offence. You can’t take back what’s been done.

You take a step back but stop again, the tray rattle treacherously as the handle twists back again, this time with more force. Andy still wears the same clothes as the day before. His hair is dishevelled, his beard with short shanks jutting out at the chin, as he keeps his face down. With slumped shoulders, at a slight angle, he stands back.

“We can talk,” he utters in a fractured timbre. He sounds like he’s been crying.

You bow your head and step into the room. You go to the console table and lay the tray there as it starts to shake with your nerves.

The bedsprings compress as he sits with a heavy sigh. You keep your back to him as you try to sort out the pangs in your chest and stomach. You turn slowly on your heel. As he sits on the side of the bed, the glare of the lamp illuminates his features and the dark bruising along the left side. His eye is almost entirely swollen shut.

You gasp and cover your mouth. He keeps his eyes down meekly, as if trying to hide. You can’t believe you did that to him. How could you have done that? With just one hit?

“I’m so sorry,” you creak out through your dry throat, “Andy, I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean to– I didn’t sleep all night, I feel so rotten–”

“Enough, dove,” he hisses, “enough.”

“Please,” you beg as you step forward only for him to flinch. You stop and clutch your hands in front of your chest; he’s afraid of you.

“I…” he begins and swallows thickly. He shakes his head and reaches to brush his fingers through his beard, only to wince again. “I… I love you, dove.”

Your eyes gloss as you watch him. You see how he musters his strength to look back at you. Never had anyone looked at you like that. Afraid. 

“I love you, too,” you eke out.

“So…” he quavers and clears his throat, “so let’s move past this.” You see him struggle as he grips his thigh and forces his posture straight, “I won’t make you mad again and you won’t hurt me, right?”

It’s like a punch in the gut. You could keel over right there.

“I wouldn’t ever–”

“You did,” he insists, “dove, it’s not that you hit me, it’s… you broke my heart last night.”

“I’m sorry, I really am–”

“Sorry… doesn’t always fix things. I can’t forget last night, but if it doesn’t happen again, I can live with it,” he utters each word as if it hurts, “promise, dove, promise you won’t ever hurt me like that again.”

“I promise,” you spit out desperately, “please, I never meant to hurt you. I wouldn’t ever– Andy,” you bring your hands around your throat, trying to pry away the invisible fingers squeezing you, “there’s something wrong with me. I want to fix it. I… someone hurt me…and maybe that’s why…”

“I understand but it isn’t an excuse,” he reproaches, “you can break that cycle, that’s why you go to therapy… I’m starting to think that’s not working though.”

“N-no, it is– I–”

“Have you told Steve about who hurt you?”

You reel and shake your head, digging your nails into your own throat, “no…”

“So how are you fixing yourself, dove?”

It’s an accusation. That softness is gone and the razor is back in his voice. You frown and shrug.

“I’m trying–”

“Not hard enough,” he says, “look at me.” You do, you see the purplish blue bruises and his swollen eyelid. You see what you did. “If this happens again, you have to go. We can’t stay together. I won’t let you…” his timbre turns sandy and lowers his chin, “do what my ex did to me.”

He sniffles as he hides his face. Your heart clenches and you slowly inch towards him. Before you can get to him, he stands and staggers around the bed. You freeze as he clamours into the attached bathroom and the light flicks on. The harsh yellow blaze shines into the bedroom.

You daintily pad around after him and stop just before the doorway. He grips the frame of the mirror as he looks at his reflection. Tears trickle out down his cheeks and he looks down, gulping tightly.

“I didn’t… I didn’t look before,” he wipes his nose, “Dove, I couldn’t…”

“I’m so sorry,” you murmur, “I… I’ll leave. I’ll…” you blink furiously at the thought. Where do you go? You can’t go back to Amber, she doesn’t deserve someone like you. “I’ll go–”

“Where?” He asks.

You don’t have an answer.

“Then I’m the bad guy,” his words grit, “no, we’ll… work on it. Promise, dove, promise you’ll do better.”

“I will, I swear,” you plead, “I… will you eat breakfast?”

He flinches, slowly turning his head to peek at you, “breakfast?”

“I… I wanna take care of you. You need to eat. I… I made it for you. Special.”

His lashes flutter and he looks down at the sink again. He nods as if steeling himself. He pushes himself straight. 

He turns to face you completely but before you can back away, not wanting to crowd him, you’re swept up in his arms. He hugs you to him, smothering you in the scent of his sweat and deodorant. You lock up as you let him squeeze you.

“I couldn’t sleep without you,” he whispers as he rocks you with him, “as much as you hurt me, I couldn’t. Dove, I need you.”

You slowly bring your arms up and wrap them around him. You feel how big he is. For a moment, you’re in awe that you could ever make him so afraid. You? How? His strength tightens around you, tight enough to force the breath out of you. Tight enough to break you if he wanted to.

“I didn’t sleep either,” you confess.

🕊️

You clean up the tray. The shadow of the previous night looms over you but you try not to let it consume you. The plate is clean but for a few crumbs, the fruit salad was quickly snapped up, and Andy is sipping his second cup of coffee as you lift away the remnant of his breakfast.

“That was good,” he praises over the brim of his mug.

“I’m glad you liked it. Happy you ate,” you say as your own stomach growls painfully. 

“I got you to take care of me,” he smiles even as his cheek ticks. You’re both thinking of the unsaid, trying to ignore the ghost in the room with you.

“Can I–” you focus on his mussed hair, an unusual sight, “can I run you a bath?”

He seems taken aback. He tilts his head and sips again. You hold the tray in front of you, fearing his rejection.

“Of if you need space…”

“No, that would be… nice,” he rasps, wetting his throat with the coffee before continuing, “dove, I’d love a bath,” he licks his shining lips, “with you?”

Your mouth falls open and your eyes round. It isn’t just the idea of sharing the tub, but the hope of his offer. It isn’t forgiveness but it’s a start. He’s not casting you out.

“Y-yes,” you squeak, “y-yeah, I’ll go… I’ll go clean all this up and get the tub going.”

“Honey,” he pats his stomach in content, “you’re so good to me.”

You can only nod. It’s another reminder. You weren’t good to him last night. You paint a smile on your face and step back on your heel.

“Let me just get this to the kitchen–”

“Don’t I get a kiss?” He prompts before you can back up.

“Oh, uh, yes, I’m sorry, I didn’t…” you carry the tray closer, “I didn’t know if you wanted… one.”

“Always, dove,” he leans over and offers his puckered lips. You give him a peck as he hums. As you draw back, he purrs, “perfect.”

Your smile quivers on your lips. He watches you as you glance down at the tray. It’s awkward. It’s going to be for a while. You won’t ever forget this. He accepts you, even the bad parts. Even when it hurts.

“Love you, dove,” he says.

Your eyes flick up to meet his, “love you too… honey.”

His face brightens, “I like that,” he beams, “when you call me honey.”

“You do?” you bat your lashes.

“It’s like a song,” he says and teethes his lips, his eyes drifting away from yours, “beautiful like the rest of you.”

You squirm and squeeze the tray. You slowly turn away, the empty dishes rattling with you. The knot in your chest just won’t untangle. You want it to be alright but it still feels so wrong.

[englishstrawbie]

Serendipity (35/?)

Fandom: Station 19, Grey’s Anatomy

Characters: Maya Bishop & Carina DeLuca

Summary: A chance meeting at a bar leads to these two idiots falling in love. Follows canon and fills in the gaps of their relationship that we didn’t get to see on screen.

Also @ AO3.

* * * * * * * * * * 

Do Better

Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. - Maya Angelou

They arrive at the station just before seven o’clock, tired and weary. Ben meets them in the parking lot; he has already seen the video – one of millions of people by now – and they fill him in with what really happened as they head inside. Maya trails behind at the back, her body lacking its usual bounce and enthusiasm for work. Feet drag across the floor as they trudge up the stairs towards the beanery. No-one has had any sleep and, despite the relief they share that Dean and Sullivan have been released without charge, the mood is deflated.

She is still thinking about what happened yesterday and how she handled things. She knows Dean thinks she got it wrong by bringing in the police, but what else was she supposed to do? They were off duty and she had to follow protocol. The girls are safe and she had done everything she could to get him out of jail, so that had to count for something. Still, she can feel the weird vibe between them and she doesn’t like it.

They are faced with another twenty-four hour shift, although she has already offered to call in C shift and switch the rota so that they can go home and get some rest – except for Maya herself, since tomorrow is the annual inspection and she needs to make sure the station is prepped and ready. It is the last thing she needs to worry about.

“When’s shift start again?” Jack asks, too tired to even retrieve his cell phone from his pocket and check the time.

“In about an hour,” Andy tells him as she follows him through the door.

“At least they didn’t hold Joyce as long as they held us,” Dean comments.

“Wait, did they drop all charges against her, too?” Vic asks.

“If they did, it's only 'cause someone filmed it,” Ben says.

They head straight into the break out room, finding a place to flop – a chair, a sofa, the floor. The mood is low and sombre.  

“How vile do you have to be to lock up the mother of a kidnapped kid?” Travis says with disgust in his voice.

“And the firefighters who rescued the kidnapped kids,” Andy says.

Dean sits down in one of the chairs, leaning back and turning his head to look at her. “The black firefighters," he points out. “Just the black male firefighters.”

Maya’s instinct is to tell him he is being too sensitive but she knows it is not true. Maybe she was naïve before, but she can’t hide use that as an excuse any more. She has seen it with her own eyes. She steps into the room and looks around at her team. They are exhausted and it shows in every inch of their bodies. They might be used to intense stress and sleepless nights, but this is something different.  

“You guys sure you want to work?” Maya asks them, expecting them all to want to go home. There is nothing she can do to change what happened yesterday, but she can give them time off to process it all – like she needs to do. “You must be exhausted.”

“The alternative's bringing home all this rage to my perfect little girl,” Dean says, “so...”

“Plus, today's inspection day,” Sullivan reminds her.  

“No, that's tomorrow,” Maya says dismissively. She has been planning for this for months, she knows the date.

“I have it in my calendar for today,” Sullivan says. “And until recently, I was supposed to be the one doing the inspecting, so...”

Maya’s stomach drops. Shit. She can’t have got it wrong, can she? All eyes are on her as she pulls out her phone and checks her calendar. Yep, there it is, marked in red to remind her of its importance.

“No, no, no, no, no!” Maya cries. “Oh God.” She could kick herself for her stupid mistake, how did she get the date wrong? She feels the room deflate even more, if that is possible. She sighs heavily. “The inspection determines our budget for the entire year.”

“We'll reschedule,” Ben says diplomatically.

“Doesn't work like that,” Sullivan says. “They don't reschedule, we'll just fail. And I don't mean to be selfish, but...”

Maya feels her eyebrows arching in anticipation of what he is about to say.

“You're allowed to be selfish,” Vic tells him. “You're allowed to be whatever it is you need to be today.”

Maya knows she is cutting him some slack after he raced into the burning house behind Dean and helped save the two young girls, so she doesn’t say anything.

“I need to make a good impression,” Sullivan insists. “I need us to make a good impression. I can't lose anymore, I can't lose this house. I have a career to rebuild.”

It is important to Maya too – her first inspection since being promoted to Captain. She has a lot to prove in this male-dominated world. She knows that the fire department is full of people who think like Michael Dixon, who are watching her every move, who will jump at any chance to criticise her. She has no idea what they will make of yesterday’s events, or two of her team being arrested, or being caught up in a viral video that shows the Seattle police department in a bad light. She is pretty sure the Chief isn’t going to be happy about it, but that is a battle for another day.

“Okay, okay, look,” Andy says, standing up from the stool on which she was perched. “We know who we are. We've been prepping for this for weeks. We have to get this house in tip-top shape, let's just put our heads down and get through today.”

Maya nods, grateful that Andy’s pep talk has stopped them all from spiralling into despair at the thought of all the work ahead of them to be ready for Battalion Chief Gregory’s visit later that day. They start to move, dragging themselves to their feet.

“Okay, okay – we can do this,” Maya says resolutely, despite the guilt she feels at having to put them through their paces on a day when they really need an easy shift.

She leaves them in the break out room, pulling her cell phone out of her pocket as she makes her way downstairs to her office. She hasn’t checked in with Carina since their phone call last night and, with everything else going on, she longs to hear her girlfriend’s voice, telling her it will all be okay. Somehow, when Carina says it, she believes it.

Knowing she had an early start today, she doesn’t feel guilty about calling her at seven a.m. and hits the dial button, disappointed when it goes straight to voicemail.

“Hey, Carina. Just checking in. I hope your day is less eventful than my night was,” she says, trying to keep things light even though she feels a heavy weight on her shoulders, bearing down on her. She walks into her office. “Today is the annual inspection, which is the most important day of my captaincy so far,” she continues, dropping her bag on the floor and shrugging off her Gilet. “…and I thought it was tomorrow, so I'm not ready. I haven't slept or showered or eaten, or processed what I witnessed last night.”

She sits down on the chair in the middle of her office, momentarily relieved of the tension she has been holding in her body. “…and now I'm rambling on your voicemail because I miss you and – oh God, what if we fail? What if I fail?”

What if she does fail? She can hear her father’s voice in her head, telling her off for being distracted by silly nonsense instead of keeping her eye on the goal. It has been this way ever since she gave up running and decided to become a firefighter, her natural instinct to lean on his teachings and to wonder what he would tell her to do whenever a difficult situation arises. He doesn’t appear very often these days, but it is a habit she is still learning to break. She doesn’t need his approval any more, she has nothing to prove to him – but she is still the woman he moulded, still with a drive to succeed at all times.

“That is…”

The voicemail cuts off and she looks at her phone with despair, before throwing it onto her desk. Maybe Carina will pick up the message before her first appointment of the day and call her back with some words of wisdom.

She shakes the thought of her father out of her head. It is because she is tired, she tells herself. It is because she is wound up, because she is worried about her team and the inspection, and hasn’t seen her girlfriend for forty-eight hours.

Desperate to get out of the clothes she has been wearing for far too long and into something clean, Maya heads into the bunk room and shreds herself of her clothes, dumping them unceremoniously on the bed. She freshens herself up as best as she can and changes into her uniform. A ping alerts her to a message and she opens it quickly, happy when she sees Carina’s name.

About to video call.

Maya frowns. It is not like Carina to send her such short, curt messages. A video call comes through and she picks it up on her laptop for a bigger screen, sitting down at her desk. She can see immediately that Carina is in the car.

“Hey, should you be video calling while you’re driving?”

It is the firefighter in her that always worries about safety first. She has seen too many road traffic accidents caused by people distracted on their phones.

“It’s okay, Andrea is with me,” Carina says.

Andrew shifts the phone so that he comes into view alongside his sister.

“Hey Maya.”

“Hey. What’s going on?” Maya asks, curious about where they are headed so early in the morning when she knows that Carina should be at work.

“Andrea saw Opal at the hospital this morning,” Carina says. “She got into a car, we’re following her now.”

It is not what she was expecting to hear. “You’re what?” she exclaims.

“Did you see her yesterday?” Andrew jumps in before Carina can say any more.

“Yesterday?”

“Carina told me about the two girls who got abducted,” Andrew says. “Did you see a woman with red hair?”

“No, the house belonged to some guy called Bob,” Maya says. “There was no sign of anyone else.”

She is putting two and two together, and getting five.

“What makes you think they’re connected?”

“Okay, look, we don't have a lot of time to explain, alright?” Andrew says impatiently.

Maya doesn’t like sound of this at all, especially if Andrew is dragging her girlfriend into something that has the potential to get messy.

“Carina, are you okay?”

“Yes, we are safe for now, but...”

Maya doesn’t hear any more, as Ben walks into her office with his cell phone in his hand.

“Hey, Bishop, I just got a million texts from Andrew DeLuca, saying...”

He trails off when Maya picks up her laptop and turns the screen towards him so that he can see Andrew.

“Oh.”

Ben and Andrew exchange greetings as Ben walks around Maya’s desk, meeting her in the middle.

“Look, I've been trying Bailey a bunch, but...” Andrew starts.

“Yeah, she's finally getting some sleep, so don't bug her,” Ben says, protective of his wife. “What do you need?”

“They saw a woman at the hospital this morning and they think she's associated with what happened last night,” Maya says, although she still can’t connect the dots. But for as long as Carina is caught up in all this, she is going to go along with it.

“Yeah, well, we're not gonna let her get away this time,” Andrew says doggedly. “And she's got to be connected somehow to the guy that your team brought in last night. It's too much of a coincidence.”

Maya wants to disagree – it feels like a leap. But then she remembers yesterday, and her reluctance to believe the two desperate mothers until it was almost too late, so she is prepared to take that leap for now.

“Did you call the police?”

“Yeah, 'cause that worked out so well last night,” Ben comments.

Maya knows he is right to be cynical, but this feels way out of their control and she really is not comfortable with Carina and Andrew getting themselves involved in this without any back-up.

“Yeah, we tried the police, but they told us they'll follow up,” Carina says.

“So, your plan is just to follow her?” Maya questions.

Just because the police aren’t prepared to help, doesn’t mean that the next best thing is for her girlfriend and her brother to be playing car chase with a woman who might be a child trafficker. Just the thought of it is crazy.

“No, my plan is to not let this woman kidnap and torture other teenagers,” Andrew says.

“If we can follow her to a location or... or her home or something, at least we can give the police an address,” Carina says.

At least Carina has some sort of plan, but it still makes Maya feel anxious. Her mind is spinning as she tries to make sense of all this. They have just come from a messy situation, she doesn’t want Carina being dragged into another one – especially if it puts her at risk.

“Okay, Carina, this is crazy. You can't just follow some stranger all over the streets of Seattle,” Maya says.

She is ignored as they get distracted following Opal down a side road.

“She's stopping, pull over,” Andrew instructs his sister. “Pull over.”

“Who's stopping? Opal?” Maya asks, her frustrations starting to show.

“Okay, DeLuca, DeLuca! What are you doing?” Ben asks, equally frustrated.

They are both ignored this time as Andrew and Carina watch what is happening out of the window. Maya just hopes they are at a safe distance not to get spotted.

“She's talking to some man,” Carina says.

Great, now there is someone else involved in this. They have no idea who this guy is or what his role is in all this.

“Okay, Carina, these people could be really dangerous,” Maya points out.

“Yeah, they're dangerous to teenage girls,” Andrew says. “That's why we're here.”

“Stay in the car,” Maya pleads with them. At least they are safer in the car, she thinks.

“Look, you want to help? Cut through the red tape and get the police here right now,” Andrew says.

After yesterday’s fiasco, Maya has no idea how she is going to get the police on side, but she will figure it out – just as long as they stay safe. Maybe Officer Wicklund will be willing to help. After all, he looked pretty sheepish when he was confronted with the video of what had really happened and could no longer hide behind Schneider’s version of the truth. Maybe she can capitalise on that.

“Okay, we're on it,” she says. “Just please wait for the police.”

“We will,” Carina agrees.

“I'm not making any promises,” Andrew says.

Maya’s shoulders slump in defeat, her eyes staying on Carina, who meets them via the screen. She shoots Maya a look that tells her she will try, but they both know how determined Andrew is to catch Opal. She also knows that Carina will do whatever she has to do to support him this time around, especially since they had learned he was correct about Cindy Wright all along.

Maya slams the laptop shut in frustration. She shoots Ben a look that tells him not to say anything as she stalks over to the phone and picks it up, dialling the local police station.

“Officer Wicklund please,” Maya says when someone answers.

Wicklund takes her call at least, and is co-operative when she fires a series of questions at him and is willing to provide her with some information, but he is reluctant to help her push the case up the ranks to the right person.

“Okay, thank you.”

From the other side of the room, she hears Ben leaving a voicemail message for his wife as he matches her pacing up and down. When he hangs up, he turns towards her.

“Okay, I think Miranda has records, but I can't reach her,” he says. “I think she took a sedative.”

“It's okay, they were able to look up the incident at Grey-Sloan without the report number, but the detective assigned to the case is not in today,” Maya says.

“So?” Ben challenges her. “I mean, can't they get another detective? “

“They said they would try, but that it would take a while to process and to get them up to speed,” Maya says despondently.

“Unbelievable,” Ben says, shaking his head. “What about Ryan's old captain? Can he do us a favour?”

“Captain Rendon?”

It is a good idea – and the only alternative they have right now.

“We can try,” Maya says. She picks up the phone and dials another number, waiting for someone to answer. “Captain Maya Bishop, Station 19. Can I have Captain Rendon, please? I'll hold.”

“Um Andrew, he's…?” Ben starts to ask, but she cuts him off.

“He's stable,” Maya says. “He's been on his meds for months. He's getting sleep. He's good.”

She sounds more confident that she feels. She knows it is what Carina would say if she was here and, even if she is silently worried that Ben’s concerns might be justified, she is going to have his back.

On the other end of the phone, a police sergeant tells her that Rendon is unavailable right now. “”Will you please leave a message? Captain Maya Bishop, Station 19. It's urgent.”

Aggravated by the constant barriers, Maya puts the phone back in its holder, then immediately slams it into place four times before letting it go. Ben’s eyebrows raise and she shakes her head.

“Sorry. I’m just worried about what they’re getting themselves into, that’s all. I’d feel a lot more comfortable if they had back-up.”

Her gaze drifts through her office door to the entrance to the barn, where the team are working hard to get the station in top shape before today’s inspection.

“I don’t have time for this,” Maya says. “The inspection…”

“Some things are more important,” Ben reminds her.

“I know.” Maya lets out a sorrowful laugh. “I learned that the hard way yesterday. I got it so wrong.”

Ben raises his eyebrows curiously, but doesn’t ask her what she means.

“Are you gonna tell them?” Ben asks.

“You think I should?”

“After what they all went through yesterday, it’s not fair to keep them in the dark.”  

“I don’t know,” Maya says with a shake of her head. “Miller…”

“Miller’s allowed to be pissed,” Ben says.

“I know that,” Maya says. “I just… you know how they’re gonna react when I tell them.”

“They?”

As soon as she says it, she knows how it sounds.

“I didn’t… I mean…”

“Yeah, I know,” Ben says, more kindly than she thinks she deserves. “Look, if there’s a chance that Andrew’s right and this woman they’re following, Opal, is connected to those two girls getting kidnapped, then maybe we need to give them the back-up that the police aren’t giving. Maybe there’s a chance to finally catch her.”

Maya tips her head to one side. “How are we gonna do that? The Chief is going to be here in…” She checks her watch. “… two hours.”

“I have no idea,” Ben says. “That’s way outside of my pay grade.” He steps backwards and holds out a hand, gesturing towards the door. “But you still need to tell them.”

Maya takes a deep breath and nods her head, then strides forwards, Ben close behind her. They head into the barn and she walks around the back of the fire truck to where the team are working hard.

“Listen up – announcement!” she says loudly, getting everyone’s attention. “Carina and her brother, Andrew DeLuca, are...” She falters, looking at Ben who shrugs. “They think they have eyes on one of the kidnappers.”

“Jada and Shanice?” Vic asks.

“No, no, the girls are okay. The girls are safe,” Maya assures her. “The guy from yesterday is still in custody, but we think his partner was at the hospital last night.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Carina and Andrew are doing what?” Jack says.

“Following her,” Ben answers.

Andy’s eyebrows arch. “Following her?”

“Correct,” Maya says, barely meeting her eyes. She knows what Andy is thinking just by the tone of her voice.

“Okay, good,” Vic says resolutely. “So, what do we do? How do we help?”

“I take it the police aren't rushing to the scene?” Dean says, his voice heavy with sarcasm.

“There's a lot of red tape,” Maya admits.

“Right, but you just keep calling it in,” Dean chides.

Maya looks at him, but he turns his gaze downwards. She understands why he is pissed at her and she doesn’t take the bait.

“Okay, look, I'm going. I'm just gonna take the aid car and…”

As soon as Ben says it, everyone else jumps in, offering to go with him. Maya feels torn, the inspection is too important to mess up but she knows that Ben is right – Carina and Andrew can’t do this by themselves.

“You can't all go, not if we want to pass inspection,” Maya reminds them.

“We just say that we're at an incident,” Dean suggests.

“It's not an incident, Miller,” Maya says, losing her patience a little. “Right now, it's just my girlfriend and her brother chasing someone in a car.”

“Wow, you really gonna just…”

“I'm what, Miller?” Maya challenges him.

She can feel his frustration with her – she is frustrated too. She doesn’t know what to do. She is the captain, the leader, and she feels like she has no power and no control in this situation.

Before they can get into it, Ben jumps in.

“Okay, I'm going. So who's coming?”

The team continue to squabble, all of them wanting to get involved. Dean is the loudest.

“Miller, Miller, you cannot get cuffed twice in twenty-four hours, man. For Pru,” Jack points out. “Maybe I can get some leverage as lieutenant or something.”

“Or something?”

Maya decides to step in, giving a command as captain.

“Gibson, Warren, go. The rest of you, there is still a lot to do around here.”

There is a part of her that wants to jump into the aid car with them, but she needs to be here when Gregory shows up.

Ben and Jack dash off to the aid car, while the others go back to their chores. Maya starts to retreat, until she hears Dean calling out after her.

“Aren't we gonna wait for the cops like you made me wait yesterday?”

Maya stops and turns.

“I told you what was going on in that house, I told you that I wanted to go in. No, and you ignored that black mother's cries because you waited on a cop who refused to help her!”

She wants to interject but she doesn’t know what to say because she knows that there is nothing she can say, so she just takes it.

“Those girls had to set a fire to get your attention, when you…” he takes a breath. “…you could have just had my back!”

Maya watches as he shakes his head and walks away. She can feel the rest of the team looking at her, curious about her reaction to Dean’s attack. She lowers her eyes and walks away, her face flushed with embarrassment. They know it is not like her not to bite back, but she can’t – not about this. She knows Dean is right. She let him down.

She heads back into her office and picks up her cell phone. The screen lights up with a short message from Carina, telling her that they have just pulled up outside the train station. She is about to fire a message back to her when Jack’s voice comes through the radio.

Captain Bishop, we have plate numbers for the police – VTQ 864. These are Idaho plates.

Maya picks up the radio. “Copy.”

She writes it down on the notebook in front of her, then picks up the phone and calls the station again.

“This is Captain Bishop…”

The sergeant on the other end starts to tell her that Rendon still isn’t available, but she won’t allow it this time. She has had enough of getting the brush off.

“No! I need to speak to him, now!”

After a bit more pushing, Captain Rendon finally comes on the line.

“Captain Bishop,” he greets her. “I hear you’ve been very persistent with my desk sergeant.”

“I’m sorry, Sir, but this can’t wait,” Maya says.

She dives into the whole story – the kidnapped girls from yesterday, the kidnapper at the hospital where a known child trafficker was seen early this morning, a pair of doctors from Grey Sloan on their tail (she avoids the part about her personal connection to them) and two of her team hot on their heels. She gives him a description of Opal and the plate numbers that Jack gave her, and he puts her on hold for five minutes while he does a quick check.

“Well, it seems your friends are on to something,” Rendon says when he comes back on the line. “This woman, Opal, is known to us. She’s been under investigation for some time thanks to her links to a child trafficking ring. The vehicle you gave us? It’s registered to a Robert Corson – he’s the man you came across yesterday. As well as the house here in Seattle where he was keeping those two girls, his name is also against a rental property in Boise, Idaho. If you’re right that Opal was at the hospital, I suspect it’s no coincidence. It’s likely that they’re moving kids across the border. I’ve spoken to the detective who’s leading this case and he’s on his way in. I’m sending Officer Patterson out, he’s one of our best and most experienced. We’re bringing in the FBI too. Where are your friends now?”

“Uh, Seattle Center train station,” Maya tells him, re-reading the message from Carina.

“Tell them to sit tight, we’re sending our people there now.”

“Thank you, Sir,” Maya says. “Thank you.”

“You know, if Tanner was around, he wouldn’t let this one go either,” Rendon says.

Maya feels a sadness wash over her at the mention of her friend.

“No, he wouldn’t,” Maya says with a small smile.

Rendon passes on the details of Officer Patterson so that she has a direct line to him, before ending the call. As soon as she can, Maya picks up her radio.

“The car is registered to Robert Corson,” Maya says. “He's the guy from last night. The Idaho plates mean that they're probably trafficking over state lines. FBI's getting involved and the cops are on their way.”

She hears Ben’s voice in reply. Copy that, Captain.

Maya is just about to call Carina to let her know when she sees Dean walking out of the barn with a bucket and cleaning materials in his hand. She wants to make peace with him, but she knows it is not going to be easy. Still, she has to try to make things right.

“Miller, good news,” she says, catching his attention. “The FBI engaged and the local police are on scene.”

She knows she sounds too formal, but she is keeping her guard up in case he is ready to get into it with her again.

“That's good to hear, Captain,” Dean says, his tone polite. She can feel them at odds and doesn’t like it. He gives her a respectful nod, then turns and starts to walk up the stairs.

“Dean,” Maya calls after him, softening her tone.

Dean stops and turns, retracing his steps back down the stairs.

“I’m sorry,” Maya says. “I got it wrong yesterday.”

It is a simple apology but she knows that anything more will sound like an excuse. She waits to see if does anything to repair their friendship.

“It might be a minute before I graciously accept your apology, Captain,” Dean says eventually.

It is not a cold reaction, but it isn’t exactly warm either. She hates that the exchange feels so awkward, but at least he doesn’t throw it back in her face.

“Understood,” she says.

Dean makes his way upstairs, as Maya turns and goes back into her office. She picks up her cell phone and goes to call Carina’s number, pausing only when she hears someone being greeted at the front desk. She panics. It can’t be Gregory already, he’s not due yet. She steps outside to investigate, relieved to learn it is a young guy with a broken finger who has come in hoping for some medical assistance. All it needs is a bandage, and she leaves him with Larsson, dialling Carina’s number as she heads back into her office.

She answers after a couple of rings.

“Maya, we have no news,” Carina says.

“I do,” Maya says. “The cops are on their way.”

“Ah great,” Carina says. Maya can hear the relief in her voice.

“Okay, thank you. Thank you, Maya,” Andrew says. “You know, you're my favourite girlfriend Carina's ever had? And there's been a lot.”

“No, don't listen to him,” Carina says.

Maya laughs, glad to hear them both joking. Except the momentary relief from the intensity of this morning doesn’t last long.

“She’s getting out,” she hears Carina say.

“Who's getting out?” Maya asks.

She hears Carina call after her brother – No Andrea! – and she starts talking in Italian. Maya is lost as to what is happening, but the relief she felt at finally feeling some control over the situation quickly disappears.

“Okay, what’s he doing?” Maya demands to know.

Carina continues to call out after her brother. “Maya, I have to hang up.”

“What? No, no, no… don’t hang up!”

The line goes dead.

“Fuck!” Maya cries into her empty office. She throws her cell phone on to the table and drops into her chair, her head in her hands.

She tries calling Carina back, but the line is busy. A couple more minutes and the police would have been there. Why the hell did they have to get out the car?

Maya sits and watches her phone, hoping Carina will call, but it sits silently on her desk, taunting her. She has no idea what to do now. The silence annoys her, until it is broken by the sound of crackling from the radio.

Captain Bishop, they’re getting on a train. Now, we're not sure where they're headed, but we're driving to the nearest train station now. Tell the police to standby.

Maya picks up the radio. “What? Why? Why did they...” She gives up trying to understand what the hell is going on. “Okay, okay, okay.”

She leans back and grabs a folder from the shelf behind her, and flips through the pages to a map of the train network.

“North or south?” she asks into the radio.

“We don’t know,” comes Ben’s reply. “Wait – I just got a message.”

Maya holds her breath as she waits for an answer.

“South. They’re heading south.”

“Copy.”

Maya picks up the phone and dials the cell phone number that Rendon gave her.

“Officer Patterson? This is Maya Bishop from the Seattle Fire Department,” she introduces herself.

“Ah yes, Captain Bishop, thank you for your help today,” the police officer says. “We’re almost at the train station.”

“About that – the suspect, Opal, is on the move. She’s about to board a train heading south.”

“Which station?”

She double-checks the map. “South Lake Union.”

“Okay, we’ll head there too.”

He ends the call and Maya falls back in her seat, sighing heavily. Her eyes fall on the clock on the wall. The time is ticking closer to Chief Gregory’s visit and he is due in just over one hour, but she knows it is possible that he will turn up early to catch them out. She can’t just sit here and wait for news, it is driving her crazy.

She wants to call Carina, to check that she is safe, but if they are on a train following Opal then Maya doesn’t want to draw attention to them by making Carina’s phone ring.

Instead, she stands up and heads into the bunk room, stripping her clothes and changing into her Class A dress uniform. Her heart isn’t in this inspection, her head certainly isn’t. Her team have pulled it together without her help, despite everything they went through last night. She needs to remember to tell them thank you when this is all over. Maybe they can reschedule that day-drinking they had planned for yesterday, once everything has calmed down.

Once she is dressed, Maya looks at herself in the mirror. She usually feels such pride in her uniform, in the two stripes on her sleeve, but today that pride feels tainted. It doesn’t mean anything if they are not making a difference – and how can they make a difference when there is so much red tape holding them back? When every step they take is judged instead of supported?

She knows she will be criticised for what happened yesterday – despite what happened to those girls and her team. She will probably get criticised for today too, for letting Ben and Jack go out in the aid car when no emergency has been called in. She cares about that, of course she does; she wants to be good at her job – she wants her superiors to think that she is good at her job – but is she truly good at her job if she doesn’t fight against the things that her gut is telling her are wrong?

She has a choice, and she has made her decision by the time Andy shows up in her office.

“Helmets are polished, hoses are stacked. You could eat off the floor in the beanery,” Andy announces. “I know it's not much considering everything, but my dad always taught me, sometimes you take it from the outside in, and from the outside this station is looking pretty good right now.”

She leans back against the cupboards and watches as Maya straightens her desk.

“Battalion Chief Gregory's gonna be another hour, at least,” Maya says.

She can’t do this. She can’t be here, not when her girlfriend is chasing a criminal across the city. Not when she doesn’t know what is going on. Her dress coat feels heavy and she starts to remove it, disappearing into the captain’s bunk and hanging it up in the small wardrobe inside.

“Copy. You want me to make sure that…”

“I want you to be in charge of the station while I'm gone,” Maya says. She emerges from the bunk and walks over to the door, grabbing her SFD jacket. “I can't just stay here while Carina's...”

“Wait,” Andy objects. “Hold on… Maya, this inspection defines your role as captain; as the...”

“…first female captain of Nineteen, I'm aware,” Maya says. She sits down on the chair to change her shoes. “But I can't play by the rules I witnessed yesterday. The whole first female captain thing implies that if I don't play by every single rule, then I'm failing. And if I don't do this job like the men before me did it, then I'm not up for the task. But I played by every single rule yesterday. I went against my gut and those girls had to set a fire to save their lives because I was playing by the rules. Because I was worried about how it would look on paper. And these people, these disgusting, soulless human beings are kidnapping children and holding them hostage and selling them.”

She stands up, the words falling from her mouth as she lets all her frustrations out. “And there is something more that we can do. So, I'm gonna show up.” She turns and grabs the keys to the fire command car from her desk. “I'm a first responder. I'm gonna respond, and if that means it's the last day as the first female captain, then I can live with that.”

It’s not really a choice, she realises, and she is so resolute that Andy knows there is no changing her mind.

“I'll get everyone in their Class As,” she says. “Go.”

Maya shoots her a grateful smile as she rushes out the door. She jumps into the fly car and puts the siren on, speeding through traffic towards South Lake Union train station. It has already been ten minutes since she last heard from Warren, which means that Carina and Andrew are probably already on the train. She dodges traffic and pulls into the underpass just seven minutes later.

Ben and Jack get out of the Air Car when they see her pull up next to them.

“What's the status?” she demands to know as soon as she gets out of the car.

“They should be pulling up soon,” Ben says.

Maya is relieved to know that she has got here just in time. “Okay. When the cops get here, we'll post at both exits. Can you send me the photo of Opal that Andrew sent to you?”

She heads towards the station entrance, pulling on a mask as she walks, and calls over the first security guard she sees. She doesn’t have time to get into any detail, but trusts that her badge and status as Fire Captain will give her the credentials she needs to command him to follow her lead. She tells them to look out for a woman in her forties with red hair and shows him the photo of Opal.

“Bishop!” Ben calls out to her.

Maya scurries back towards the aid car. “What?”

“Carina just text me. They’re pulling into the station now.”

In stroke of good luck, or just coincidental timing, Maya hears sirens and turns just as two police cars pulls up behind her. An officer steps out of one and walks towards them.

“Captain Bishop?”

His name badge reads Patterson, the cop that Rendon sent her way.

“We have the doors covered.” She holds up her phone. “This is a photo of Opal.”

Patterson recognises her straight away from the file he was sent. “She's a 4100 suspect.” He turns to his team of officers. “Let's go. Take the right side and the left side. Let's move!”

They disperse, heading in different directions. Maya has been on a few stake outs with the police, but usually at a distance. Today she is right in the middle of it as she follows the police officers to the station entrance. All eyes are on the recently alighted passengers, all blondes and brunettes so far.

“That’s her!” Jack calls out.

“Here we go,” Patterson says under his breath.

An officer steps up to her. “Ma’am, freeze!”

The woman spins as the officer grabs her arm. “Hey!”

It’s not her, it’s not Opal, and Maya sighs with frustration. They are so close, they can’t miss her now. They keep looking, eyes on everyone who comes out of the doors.

“Over there, over there!” Ben suddenly says. “There, there, there!”

Maya spins and sees the red-headed woman, as sure as she can be that it is Opal. She has to stop herself from launching forwards, holding back and letting the team of officers do their job.

Patterson grabs his radio. “We think she’s exiting the north side of the building.”

His team surrounds her. “Ma’am, freeze!”

Opal feigns confusion. “What’s going on?” she asks, putting her hands in the air.

She doesn’t fool anyone though and Maya watches from a close distance as she is cuffed and read her rights. She turns to share a look with Ben and Jack as Opal is put into the back of a police car. She is not giving much away, her body stiff as she is guided into the back of the car.

“It's interesting how they didn't shove her face into the ground,” Jack comments.

As the police car pulls away, they make their way back towards their vehicles. Maya pulls out her cell phone and goes straight to Carina’s number.

“We should let Carina and Andrew know,” she says.

“I’m surprised they’re not here,” Ben says, looking around in case they have caught the end of the show.

Before Maya has the chance to make the call, the radio crackles.

“Aid car nineteen, are you still at South Lake Union?”

Jack grabs his radio. “This is nineteen, yes we are.”

“We’ve had reports of a stabbing victim in the main concourse, can you attend?”

Maya stops, her body frozen. Jack turns towards her, his wide, shocked eyes looking at her over the top of his mask.

“Copy. We’ll be right there.”

Ben is already on the move, pulling open the back of the aid car to grab the gurney.

“Bishop? Maya?”

Maya shakes her head. No, she’s not okay.

A stabbing victim, that’s all they said. But there is a heavy feeling in her stomach.

She starts to run, ignoring the car horns that scream at her when she crosses the road without looking. She charges up the steps and into the station, weaving through the crowds as she makes her way to the main concourse.

As she runs, there is only one thing on her mind:

Carina.

[clairecrive]

heyo! woman was so good- could you write a part 2 to it please? thank you so much!

"woman" - wolfstar x reader (part 2)

A/n: thank you so much to those who commented on part 1! I'm overwhelmed by the response it got and I'm so happy!

Warnings: mild angst, mostly fluff, Sirius is adorable, this is mostly about Sirius x y/n, but poly relationship none the less

Word count: 1.2k ish

Tags: @erinblack003, @girl22334, @blackpinkdolan, @seldomabsent, @andy-blur (let me know if you wanna be added or removed)

Part 1

HARRY POTTER MASTERLIST

Sometimes, y/n damned the day she said yes to those boys. Granted, it didn't happen often and it coincided unsurprisingly with every fight she had with them. Mostly Sirius to be fair. Remus hated arguing just as much as she did, only he did a better job in dealing with conflict. 

If y/n had to be honest, it was hard for her and Sirius not to clash. No matter how much she loved the boy, more often than not they'd argue. Usually, it started like harmless banter, Sirius loved to get a rise out of her since Remus was always so collected, and y/n couldn't hold her tongue if her life depended on it. Hence, their dynamic.

Those kinds of interactions though were never taken seriously by either of them. Not that they would admit it out loud, but they enjoyed them.

However, despite how Remus always tried to mediate between them on serious matters, sometimes it wasn't enough and they would apply that same dynamic to fights stem from more serious motives. Like it happened yesterday.

Laying in her bed, with the deafening silence of her dorm as a soundtrack, y/n could admit that she took Sirius bait. She was aware of her boyfriend's past and how difficult it was for him to express his feelings. Hell, her past wasn't as traumatic and she had a hard time doing that too. 

"Stupid," groaning at herself, she rolled around, unable to keep still for long. 

Truth is, she gave in to that part of herself that was always second-guessing everything good in her life and let her speak. Yes, after months of dating she still couldn't believe that two of the most amazing human beings on this planet chose her and loved her, but she wasn't so insecure about their relationship and their commitment to her. 

It was true that Sirius had a way of going about things that made him seem like a huge flirt but she knew in her heart that it was harmless. She could see it in his eyes every time he'd look at her or Remus. Least of all that Valerie. 

She overreacted.

"Fuck me," huffing in annoyance she couldn't believe that Sirius had been right all along, she had been a massive brat. 

"I think you're in the wrong place for that," Marlene's voice cut through the room startling her.

"Sorry Marls," she grimaced knowing that it was her shuffling and restlessness that woke her friend.

"I'm sure your loverboy would be more than happy to solve your problem. Just go to him." And giving y/n her back, she went back to sleep.  Y/n had confided in her friend, she usually liked to keep her relationship's problems between her and her boyfriends but Marlene had seen right through her. 

She let out a sigh, looking at the ceiling, she knew that she couldn't go on like this much longer. She never could sleep when she had a serious fight with her boyfriends. Trying to be as silent as possible and climbed the stairs to the common room. 

Trying to figure out the best way to approach Sirius after the fight, the best words to use, she almost missed the silhouette of a boy sitting in front of a fire. As soon as she had spotted it though, y/n knew immediately who it was.

Sirius always had trouble sleeping.

"Hey," not wanting to scare him, she quietly spoke to announce her presence before making her way to him.

"Hi," good thing she had spoken, 'cause Sirius appeared to be deep in thoughts and hadn't heard her coming down. "What are you doing here?" 

"Couldn't sleep. You?"

"Same."

Both of them were aware of the reason why both of them were too restless to sleep but it felt like the words needed to be said. Even if to just ease them into the conversation they knew they needed to have.

"Look-"

"Listen-"

Speaking at the same time like they were in some sort of romcom felt comical but also very in intune with them. Always clashing. 

Smiling softly at each other, they waited for the other to speak. Almost as if they had made a silent agreement, again, they spoke at the same time.

"I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" Sirius added confused. She did nothing wrong as far as he's concerned.

"I overreacted, I was a bitch," she started listing with the help of her fingers, "I threw a fit, do I need to add more?"

"Oh baby," shaking his head he took her hands in his before continuing, "can't blame you for that when I would have reacted the same way, can I?"

"It seemed like I don't trust you though," now it was her turn to shake her head and give his hands a squeeze, "which is absolutely not true. I know you're loyal."

"Surely, you must know how deeply I care for you."

"I do, I do," she insisted when she saw doubt still clouding his eyes, "sometimes I let my insecurities get the best of me. I'm sorry if I hurt you though, it isn't an excuse."

"We all got insecurities, bunny. And I'm the one who's sorry, I shouldn't have messed with you that much. I was being an arsehole and I ruined your surprise." He reassured her before his head hung low in shame. There's the thing about Sirius: he could be very forgiving when it came to his loved ones but never when it came to himself. 

"You were a bit of a moron, but it's okay. I didn't want to come off as needy, you weren't that  late anyway." Taking his chin between her fingers, she tilted his head up so that she could look into his eyes. There was nothing y/n hated more than Sirius being so intransigent with himself when he deserved nothing but love and happiness. Good thing that he had two doting and loving partners then, right? 

"Bunny," tightening his hold on the hand he was still holding, his eyes glowed in the firelight, turning solemn as the words he was about to share, " you're the most important person in my life along with the marauders. If you want my attention, you got it. Hell, you already have all my attention. You're always on my mind, and certainly in my heart. I love you, there's no one but you and Remus. I promise." 

Letting his forehead touching hers gently, he gave her a soft Eskimo kiss. This soft intimacy always melted his heart. Sure, steamy makeup sex was always a wonderful post-fight but this- this was way better. Sirius had had plenty of sex with other people, it wasn't a secret, but he had never had this kind of quiet, almost domestic affection. And it was what he craved more than anything. It was one of those things that you can't live without once you had it. 

"I love you too, Sirius. You and Remus are it for me." She promised while her fingers gently caressed his jaw. They settled in comfortable silence, enjoying each other presence, basking in the promise that this would be forever. 

"Did you and Remus open it?" Leaning back so that she could see him better, she asked after a while.

"Nope wanted to make things right with you first."

"Then it's not ruined. Just postponed." As if the last couple of hours didn't happen, y/n felt the excitement come back to her. However, the clock neared midnight and having things finally been set straight between them, the strain of the day was slowly dawning on them. And as a matter of fact, Sirius yawned in the cutest way. Nose scrunched, eyes watering, he looked so much like a puppy, one wouldn't believe it.

"C'mon love, let's go to bed, alright?" Leaving a kiss to his lips, she quietly coaxed him up from the sofa. 

"Can't we stay here and cuddle a bit more?" Groaning, he complained settling his head in the crook of her neck, refusing to let her go.

"Who said we had to part? I'm not letting you go tonight, but I'm sure Moony is feeling lonely up there." She said quickly pecking his temple, the closest part of his face she could reach and walked towards their dorm with him attached to her like a koala. 

"Mh yes, let's go then. Moony gives the best cuddles."

"That he does my love." She agreed giggling. Remus was the best at quite a few things but maybe they could explore them in the morning.

[agirlwithbigdreamsforher]

TRUTH OR DARE

THE NANNY: ONE SHOT

TRUTH OR DARE

Pairing: Andy Barber x Annie Johnson (OFC)

Summary: Just an innocent game between my favorite couple.

Warnings: It’s porn, ok?

A/N: none.

Word count: 1471

Disclaimer: I do not give permission for any of my works to be copied, used, translated nor reposted anywhere else but here on this blog. Do not steal what you didn’t work for. Minors and ageless blank blogs don’t interact with me or my works. Reblogs and likes are always welcome. Thank you for reading this work of fiction.

GIF’s not mine, you can find the credits in it:) 

And I know the character in the gif is not Andy, but I needed a smirk from him and you know Andy doesn’t smile much!

                                     ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

“I’m gonna check on the kids. Need anything, honey?”

“Just a glass of water, please.”

Andy walked downstairs. Jake and Luis were having a sleepover in the living room, which by now looked like a war zone, toys scattered all over the place, half empty bags of chips and empty juice boxes. The light of the TV was only illuminating the space and the loud sound of the movie filling the ambiance.

“Guys, turn down the volume, I’m sure the whole neighborhood can hear you.” Andy passed by and towards the kitchen to grab Annie’s glass of water. The volume of the TV was still the same, “Guys!” Andy walked into the living room, both kids were on their sleeping bags fully asleep. Andy just shook his head, took the remote and turned the TV off.

He walked back to his room.

“How are the kids?” Annie asked sitting straight on the bed.

“Sleeping.” Andy walked towards the bed, “here’s your water. Ready for a movie?”

“Hmmm, not really. Let’s do something different tonight.”

“Like what?” Andy said climbing on his side of the bed.

“I don’t know, just because is Friday doesn’t mean we always have to watch a movie.”

“So, what do you suggest?”

“I don’t know.” They stayed in silence for a while. “Oh! Let’s do truth or dare!”

“What are you? Five?”

“It’ll be fun! It’ll be like having our own slumber party.”

“Fine.” Andy sighed, “Truth or dare?”

“Truth!” Annie replied excited.

“Boring!” Annie lifted her brow, “Ok, ammm let me think.” After a couple of seconds Andy spoke, “Do you love me?”

“Of course I do! That’s a silly question.”

“Just checking. I want dare.” Andy said all confident.

“I dare you to kiss me.”

“Pff, done!”

Andy leaned in and kiss her lips, softly at first and then a bit more eager, but Annie broke the kiss.

“Easy there.” She gave him a peck.

“Your turn. Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“Hmmm,” Andy thought for a moment when a dark idea came to his mind. “I dare you to go to the closet and change your clothes for the sexiest thing you own.”

“What?” Annie looked down at the t-shirt she was wearing, “But I’m comfortable in this.”

“You wanted to play this game, if you don’t do it you’ll lose.”

Annie sighed, stood up and walked to the closet closing the doors behind her. It was about 10 minutes later and Andy was still waiting.

“Honey! Come on!”

Right at that moment the closet doors opened, Annie was standing right there wearing a white lace teddy completely see through; Andy could see her nipples and the small tuft of hair between her legs. She gave a little twirl, the thong stuck between her butt cheeks.

���When…” Andy said, “How…” Andy shut his mouth again, “Why haven’t I seen this before?”

“It’s new, I was planning to wear it for a special night, but you came up with that dare so.”

“You look so hot, honey. Come here.” Andy said while he followed her staring at her nipples poking against the lace.

She walked to the bed and sat down on her side of the bed. “You’re next, truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to stop looking at my tits!”

“Then I want truth!” Andy said playfully.

“Ok!” She thought for a bit, “Have you like, ammm you know before we started dating, have you thought about me in other ways than just Jake’s nanny?”

Andy giggled, “Yes, a few times.”

“Did you ever touch yourself at the thought of me?” Annie asked.

“Ah! You only get to ask one question per turn.” Andy leaned in and kiss her neck, “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Have you touched yourself thinking about me?” Andy ask curiously.

“Yes.”

“When was the first time?”

“Hey! You said one question per turn!”

“Just answer the question.”

“I was in the shower, and,” All of the sudden Annie went shy, “ammm.”

“Keep going.”

“I was still with Daniel,” Andy just stared at her in shock, “Don’t judge me!”

“I’m not!”

“Anyways! I was in the shower and then you just pop in my head, because I remember that day I saw how you lose your tie in front of me and then I felt really hot thinking about your arms and your lips, I just wonder how your lips were to feel against my skin, on my breast.”

Andy was hard by now, listening to Annie confessed how she first touch herself at the thought of him.

“And you came?” Andy asked and she nodded. “Good!” Truth or dare?”

“It’s my turn to ask that!”

“Argh, alright! Truth.” Andy said a bit annoyed.

“Do you have any fantasies?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Which ones?”

“Double question, your honor.”

“You are not playing fair, Andy!” she pouted.

“I let you ask again.”

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Are you turn on?” Annie said lifting her brow.

“Fuck, yes.” Andy answered frankly and Annie laughed. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to show me how you touched yourself that day.”

“Ok,” Annie said in a whisper and laid down. “I just…”

“Relax, it’s just me.”

She nodded and her right hand went south in between her legs, she could feel her wetness through the fabric. She touched her clit over the fabric using her index and middle finger, a small whimper leaving her lips. Her left hand went to her breast and squeezed it lightly. She closed her eyes and kept making circles on her button for a while, when she felt Andy’s hands on her tummy. She opened her eyes and look up at Andy.

“You are doing so well.” He said with a husky voice. “Truth or dare?”

“It’s not…” another whimper left her mouth, “Your turn.” Andy kept staring at her, his hand began to caress her tight. “Dare!”

“I dare you to let me film you.”

“No, Andy.” Andy placed his hand on her pussy and gave it a small slap. “Oh fuck!”

“You know you want to, come on.” Annie didn’t answer, “If you let me film you, I’ll help you come.”

“Yes, please!”

Andy grabbed his phone and moved to be laid in between her legs, the fabric was damp by now.

“Look at you,” Andy pull the fabric and the little buttons there opened revealing her glistening folds to him, “So fucking pretty.” He open the camera on his phone and began recording. His finger touching her slit gathering the wetness there. His middle finger circle her entrance for a moment and then he push his digit inside.

“Oh my god!” Annie moan as Andy began to pump his finger in and out of her slowly.

“You like that, baby?”

“Mhm!”

“Use your words.”

“Yes!”

Andy was focus recording how his finger disappear in her warm hole.

“Truth or… fuck! Dare?” Annie said.

“Hehehe, dare.”

“Eat my pussy, now!” Andy didn’t waste time and put his lips around her clit. “Holy shit!” Andy put his phone away and move his tongue to her hole sticking it in, “Oh, Andy!” Annie’s hand went to the back of Andy’s head pushing him against her slit, feeling Andy’s tongue and lips lapping at her juices like a starved man “yes, fuck, YES!” Annie moaned feeling her orgasm running through her body. Her tights were trembling and her chest was heaving.

Andy look at her pussy still clenching around nothing. He discarded his clothes, took his erection in hand, pumped it a few times and shove his dick in her pussy.

“FUCK!” They both cursed.

“You feel so fucking warm, baby.” Andy bottom out feeling her pussy clenched around his cock.

“Andy, please.”

“Please, what?”

“Move, please.”

“You wish is my command.”

Andy began slamming hard against her pussy. The sound of his balls slapping against her ass. He was always mesmerized at the way she could take him all. How his dick disappeared inside her and how little by little his dick started to get creamy with her juices.

“Such a good girl. Creaming daddy’s cock.” Andy moaned, “You like that, baby?”

“Yes, daddy! Please, don’t stop!”

His pace increase, feeling her walls tighten. His put his thumb on her clit and began rubbing it hard. Annie’s moans were louder by the minute.

“Cum for me, baby. I know you’re close. I’m right behind you, cum.”

Annie moaned as she came hard around Andy’s dick. His hot and thick load filling her up. Andy fell on top of her and rolled to his side, heavy breathing his body covered in a thin sheet of sweat.

After a couple of minutes Andy spoke, “Do you wanna know a truth?” Annie just hummed, “I fucking love you.”

Annie moved to lay her head on his chest, “I love you too, Andy.”

[word-scribbless]

Oh Baby Chapter 7

Shoutout to the lovely @gibbsandpridegirl for brainstorming and co writing this with me

Series Masterlist Masterlist

——————-

Gibbs walked up to the officers who were trying to get the man, claiming to be Amelia’s grandfather, under control.

"Sir, do you live here?" one of the officer's asked as he approached.

“NO, but the little girl this man is yelling about is my daughter." Gibbs said, trying to take his anger but still glaring at the man.

"SHE IS NOT! "the man yelled.

The officers tried to pull the man back as he lunged at Gibbs. He swung, and if his target weren’t Gibbs he would have done some damage, but the marine and agent dodged in time and caught the man’s arm, twisting it around his back and handing him over to one of the many officers that were now there.

"I'll get her back. don't get in my way agent. you and that bitch of a wife of yours." "what the hell did you say?" Gibbs asked, hating how much he knew about his family. "She's awful pretty... that wife of yours especially when she goes on her little runs in those pink shorts." He sneered as the officer yanked him further away.

Gibbs was fuming as her turned to another officer.

"He's stalking m family.”

"we'll take him in, book him'.'

"after I see my daughter im coming down to talk to him!" Gibbs grunted.

"Sir!” The officer warned, and Gibbs realized he hadn’t IDed himself as an agent yet.

"agent" he says flashing his badge.

The cop nodded in understanding and joined his partner to discuss the situation as the other car took the man who was stalking the Gibbs family away.

"Gibbs, thank god. I'm so sorry we had to call you" Josh said shaking his hand.

"glad you did, you okay?" Gibbs said, looking around for any sign of Amelia. josh nodded and appeased him.

"Ami's upstairs with my girls. I'll get them." "Thanks for keeping them safe Josh." he said patting his arm.

"Poppa!"

Amelia yelled as Andi carried her back downstairs followed by Rylie in Josh’s arms.

"hey baby girl. I'm here. I'm here." He cooed as he scooped her out of her arms.

"I scared."

"I know princess but youre safe." He said.

"momma?" the little girl asked.

“She's on her way home. lets call her okay?" Amelia nodded quickly. The phone rang once before Y/N picked up.

"J, tell me she's okay."

"She' a just fine right meali?" "MOMMA

"Amelia squealed

" Hi baby" I Can't wait to see you. can you go thank aunt Andi-pants for me?" she asked

"Otay luv you momma." "I love you baby; she sniffed.

"J"

"he's in custody. They've been stalking us"

"well his wife is now on the run. The lawyer said she called to drop the charges minutes ago & said they’d ‘solve the problem on their own." "Shit" "we can't let this happen J!"

"i’m not letting anything happen to our family Y/N. Go straight to NCIS don’t stop for anything. I’ll get them set up with protection here and meet you there with Amelia.”

“Okay” she sniffed

“Sweetheart I’m not going to let anything happen to either of you, you know that.”

“I know, I just- god I need to be in your arms with Amelia right now.”

“Soon baby”

Gibbs caught up with one of the officers and had him stage at the house until he could get an agent there. He wrapped his daughter up his arms and kissed her head before tucking her In Her car seat.

“We’re gonna go see momma!”

“MOMMMMMA!” Amelia squealed and even in the panic in his chest, he couldn’t help but smile.

When he got to NCIS he was relieved to see Y/N already sitting in his chair, nervously biting her nails.

“Hey” he said trying not to startle her.

“Oh that god!” She huffed as she jumped up and wrapped her arms around him and Amelia.

“God I missed you” he said breathing in her scent.

“I missed you too! And you” she cooed at Amelia.

“Meals how about you go play with Abbs?” Gibbs said before Y/N stopped him.

“I really don’t-“

“In our secure conference room with a guard on the door.” He whispered to her

She nodded and let him pass her to Abby.

“I lm scared” she whimpered against his chest as he pulled her in.

“I know, I’m not letting anything happen to you.”

“Or yourself?” She sniffed.

Gibbs looked down at her.

“Promise?” she pushed

“Promise.” He said kissing her. “Always”

That, Gibbs had noticed, always calmed her, when he promised her always and he noticed it calmed him as well.

“Boss we’ve got a problem” McGee said as the team came in.

“What” Gibbs answered and y/n felt all of his fear and worry turn into a wall of anger to block everyone out.

“Mr Cobb, the man claiming to be Amelia’s grandfather just escaped.”

“WHAT?” Gibbs yelled and felt y/n flinch against him he took her hand gently as a silent apology.

“We aren’t sure what happened yet but he’s gone...”

Y/N went up to the conference room with Amelia while Gibbs and the team worked on the case. It was getting harder and harder for Gibbs to keep his cool however. And more and more difficult for y/n not to try to help in the case. When Abby came back up to play with Amelia, y/n took a moment to go check in. As she rounded the corner she heard the tell tale grunt of anger from her husband and a loud crash.

DiNozzo had just informed Gibbs that a threat had been called in against him, y/n, and Amelia and that it would be best for them to go into protective custody until the case was solved. He couldn’t hold in his emotions anymore and they all came out in the form of a growl and his stapler flying across the room to Tony’s empty desk.

Y/N ran up to him, knowing she was the only option to calm him when he was like this, her or Amelia, but he didn’t like Amelia seeing him so angry.

“Hey, hey” she whispered as she took his hand and guided him to the elevator.

She felt him relax a bit but knew he would argue “y/n I gotta-“

“You just murdered a staple Jethro... you need a minute.” He huffed and let her pull him into the elevator, flipping the switch to stop it himself and pulling her in to a tight hug. She hugged him back and heard a small sniffle, that she knew meant he was tearing up.

“Baby what’s going on?”

“There was a threat... you need to go into protective custody, you and Amelia.” He said, letting his tears go free for a moment.

“Are you coming with us? She sniffed as she wiped his tears.

He frowned. “Y/n you know I can’t with these people out there, I need to get them.” She nodded and held his face as he tried to stop more tears . “B-but I don’t think I can let you go alone. I made that mistake on-“

“Hey” she cut him off. “This is not that. That was not your fault and neither is any of this. I know you’d be our detail of you could... but it’d be silly to have one of the people being threatened doing the guarding, so how about the next best thing?” She asked and smiled at his confused look.

“Have Ziva be our detail. This isn’t your case anyway, Vance is letting you work it because he knows you won’t take no for an answer and family is first, but you know you’re going to have extra cops and agents, so have Ziva be our detail... and set us up somewhere that isn’t through normal Channels. I you know we’ll be okay!”

He nodded and pulled her into a kiss. “Maybe you should head this investigation.” He smiled

“Oh no your Poppa bear anger is going to be needed on this one!” She smiled.

“I won’t be able to call, I’ll check in with Ziva but we probably may not be able to

She nodded sadly “I hate this” she said

“Me too, god I’m gonna cry saying goodbye to meals and she’ll know somethings wrong.”

“So we tell her the truth, not everything but that we have to go away for a bit to stay safe, it’s not a bad thing to show our daughter that you have emotions. I’ll be blubbering like a baby when we leave. But it isn’t goodbye! We’ll be together soon” she sniffled and he pulled her into another hug.

“Me no leave Poppa!” Amelia cried when her parents explained that they had to go stay at uncle Tony’s with aunt Ziva for a while. First she said “my Ziva!” And the. She frowned and asked if her poppa was coming with them.

She pouted at the answer and cling to him. Y/n saw the tears form in her husband’s eyes as he hugged his daughter. She mouthed “we’ll be okay” to him and scooped her family in a hug.

“I know we’ll miss Poppa baby, but he is keeping us and other people safe. And we get to have a little sleep over. And we’ll be back with daddy in No time.”

“Why daddy no come wife us?”

“I have to catch the bad guys princess, but I love you so much. You be good for momma okay?”

She nodded sadly and grabbed her dad’s face.

“I luh you poppa! ou our hero! Momma and me see ou soon!”

“I’ll see you both soon baby girl.” He whispered through tears and kissed her head and then Y/N’s.

“We love you J! Be safe please?”

“You too. Please” his voice broke and he leaned their foreheads together.

“Always. We WILL be together soon!”

It had been a few days since the girls when into protective custody and Y/N was woken up again by a screaming Amelia.

“Meali what’s going on?” She cooed scooping her up from the pack and play they were using as a crib and taking her back to the bed.

“Me want poppa! Me want poppa!”

Y/n sighed and whispered ‘me too baby, me too. He’s keeping us safe and he loves you!”

“We talk to him?”

“He’s busy bug, well hopefully he’s sleeping right now” she sighed knowing he wasn’t.

“Stay?” She asked

“Ofcourse we can snuggle here.”

“Poppa blankie!” She shrieked.

“Oops can’t forget that!” She chuckled and scooped her out of bed to get the shirt of gibb’s that she snuggles to sleep. Like mother like daughter y/n thought as she snuggled into her husband’s tee shirt and sweatshirt she wore to sleep.

The next morning y/n woke to a snoozing Amelia next to her, all curled up with Gibbs shirt and a little smirk on her face that reminded her of her husband’s.

She smiled and took out her camera. She couldn’t have her phone with her so she’d been using her old digital camera that she’d stashed in a junk drawer and grabbed while packing. She had been taking photos of her and Amelia so Gibbs didn’t have to miss anything, even if it was (hopefully) not much longer.

She had sent Ziva for scrapbook stuff and her and Amelia were working on a ‘poppa project’ to keep them busy.

Amelia woke up slowly and cooed quietly. “Momma” she said snuggling into her.

“Me miss poppa”

“Me too love”

“Poppa luh us lots”

“He sure does”

“We work on poppa project?” Amelia perked up making Y/N smile.

“After breakfast!” She smiled

A few hours late, they were sitting on the floor working on the scrap book when Amelia suddenly broke into tears. “Poppa blankie!!!!!”

“Okay baby I’ll get it”

“It no here!” She squealed.

“Okay I’m looking!!!”

Amelia was right it was no where to be found. After hours of searching and distracting her from tears, y/n finally got her to settle by putting Gibbs sweat shirt on her and wrapping her up like a little burrito. She giggled and sniffed the sweatshirt and snuggled into her momma.

“Momma snuggle?”

“Sure baby, let’s snuggle and watch a movie?”

She nodded and they both say “Moana” at the same time.

Y/n was released when Amelia was finally snoozing against her when she heard the door open. She heard Ziva’a cue that it was her and she didn’t have to worry and whispered “shh finally got the chipmunk to sleep.”

“Rough day?” She whispered

“Mhm” y/n groaned “can’t find ‘Poppa blankie’ it’s been an afternoon that’s for sure.’

“That might be our fault” she said and signaled near the door and Abby stepped out from begins the wall with an adorable rebbe bear, clearly made from Gibbs tshirt.

Y/N felt tears spring to her eyes.

“You! You made this?” She said and took the bear with the hand that wasn’t on Amelia.

“Yeah it was ziva’s idea and I did the sewing.”

“Thank you!” Her voice cracked and she settled the bear next to Amelia, smiling as she noticed how much it smelled like Gibbs.

As soon as she put the bear near Amelia her little arm shot out and she snuggled it close to her. Her eyes crack open when she smelled the bear. “Poppa blankie?” She asks, y/n smiled at the way she resembles Gibbs when she’s confused.

“Ziva and abbs made Poppa blankie into a Poppa bear!” She smiled as Amelia snuggled the bear and looked up at her ‘aunts’ “sank ou!” She squealed and blew them kisses as she snuggled the bear!

“Can I take a picture? I won’t send it to anyone I just want to show Gibbs.”

“Yeah that’s fine, they don’t know about you or I just the Gibbs’.”

“Can you print us a copy for our Poppa project?” Y/N smiled and hugged Amelia as Abby agreed and took the picture.

Y/N set Amelia and her Poppa bear down and walked Abby out. “Thank you both so much” she said through tears.

“We brought you something too” Ziva said and looked and Abby and nodded.

“Abbs?”

Abby smiled and pulled out a letter and one of gibb’s hoodies from her bag.

“He wrote you this, and told me to have you swap sweatshirts so this one smells like him, but since lil Gibbs is all wrapped up in that one I’m sure he won’t mind you having both for now.” She smiled and held the sweatshirt to her nose.

“Thank you”

“He sent this too”

It was a little wooden heart. She could tell the it was hand carved and smiled as she turned it over. All 3 of thier initials were carved in the back with the word ‘always’ she teared up and smiled as she put held the heard close to her chest and went to get the note she had written him.

“Please tell him I love it. And that we love him? I know that’s a weird thing to make you do but.”

“Not weird at all! I’ll tell him!”

“Thank you!” She whispered as she hugged her.

“And you!” She said turning to Ziva after Abby had left. “You back on duty?”

Ziva shook her head. “Nah but i figured you wouldn’t mind me camping out here? I’ll feel better.” Y/N breathed a sigh of relief, she had been dreading the first night that Ziva wouldn’t be the one watching over them.

“We will too, come on” she said pulling Ziva to finish the movie with Amelia.

Gibbs was sulking over a file at his desk when Abby walked in.

“Um... Gibbs?”

“Yeah abbs”

“Sorry to interrupt but um I saw y/n and Amelia today”

His face softened and he got a bit of a sad look in his eye.

“I took this picture for you” she said handing him the framed picture of his girls with ‘poppa bear’

He smiled and gave a soft laugh.

“Thank you for this” he said with teary eyes.

“She like the bear?”

“Loved it, wouldn’t let go of it and y/n loved the heart and says they love you. “

He nodded, eyes not leaving the picture.

“Y/n sent this”

She said giving him the envelope and noticing it felt heavier than a letter.

He opened the envelope to find the necklace Amelia and he had given her for thier first Mother’s Day.

He picked up the note and smiled through tears as he held onto the chain.

‘My sweet Jethro, you know I never take this off. But right now all I can do is hang on to the things I know mean a lot to you while we’re away. . Like your hoodie, your notes, pictures, and your Amelia. Sweet Amelia with your glare and smile and sass. Her and I love you more than you could ever know and that’s why I’m lending you this necklace. The first gift I got as a mom. Whenever I hold onto it I think about how much love and luck lives in our little family. I hope it brings that to you too. Please know that we love you and we can not wait to be back in your arms. You’re daughter is as cranky without you as you are with out coffee. I love you Jethro, and so does our daughter. Stay safe and promise you’ll see me soon and love me always.

Love always,

Your Y/N

Gibbs was holding back tears as he clasped the chain around his neck and tucked it under his shirt.

Over the next few days both Gibbs, and Amelia (and even Y/N) grew crankier and crankier. Everytime he started to get upset, he’d place his hand over y/N’s necklace that was tucked under his shirt and just think about his girls.

He was currently drinking his coffee and looking at a picture of his girls when his phone rang and showed ziva’s name. He panicked knowing she was on y/n and Amelia duty.

“Ziva, what’s wrong? Everything okay?”

“Everything is fine gunny” he heard Y/N’s voice and his breath caught

“Y/N” he whispered

“Ziva said there was no threat of them tracing calls from her phone to yours so I begged”

“I’m glad you did, I miss you”

“God Jay I miss you so much.” She said through tears.

“Baby don’t cry.”

“I can’t help it, I miss my man” she whispered.

“God I can’t wait to hold you”

“Me either.” She sighed “someone is impatiently waiting for me in the bedroom, would you like to say hi”

“God, yes. I’m glad everyone went home because if I wasn’t crying now as soon as she-”

“POPPA!?” Amelia’s squeal interrupted him and he couldn’t fight back his tears anymore .

“Hi princess! I miss you so much!”

“Me miss ou poppa! Me luh ou! Me hug poppa bear and -nuggle momma cause she no seep wifout ou!” She babbled.

“I’m so glad you’re these to take care of momma for me” he rasped out.

“She get sad and me too but den we -nuggle and work on poppa project and we okay!”

Gibbs winced at the idea of y/n being so upset but smiled at the strength of his girls.

“You are both so strong, you and momma are being so brave for me”

“We see you soon?”

“Yup as soon as I get the bad guys!”

“Me miss poppa sing”

“How about I sing you to sleep?” He smiles as he hears her cheer and clap. “You and momma all tucked in?”

“We sure are” y/n says as he hears Amelia’s little yawn.

The girls curl up together and listen to Gibbs sing until Amelia falls asleep. Gibbs and y/n talk for a while longer until gibbs phone rings with a call from McGee.

As much as Gibbs hated ending the call, it was worth it when McGee told him there was finally a breakthrough they needed. By morning, of things went right, Gibbs would have both his girls back in his arms.

Y/N woke to a knock on the bedroom door. It was the Ziva knock so, she knew she didn’t have to open it prepared for an agent she didn’t know. But when she opened the door it wasn’t Ziva in front of her, it was her husband. Tears ran down her face and she launched into his arms. He curled his arms around her and whispered how much he loved her in her ear.

She pulled away just enough to capture his lips in a passionate kiss. Needy in the sense that it was their first kiss in over 2 weeks but loving and PG enough that they remembered where they were.

They pulled away and held each other again and y/n whispered, “I never want to let go of you but we have a little girl who hasn’t been woken up by her favorite person in far too long.”

He smiled and nodded with tears in his eyes as he kissed her forehead and then carefully walked over to the bed. He kneeled down in front of her as y/n sat on the other side.

He stroked her cheek and whispered “good morning meali moo” as he leaned over to kiss her.

She woke with a gasp and yelled POPPA! As her eyes filled with tears to match her parents and she threw herself at her father, clinging on to him.

“I missed you baby”

“Me luh you poppa!”

“I love you too! And your momma!” He said as he sat on the bed and curled his free arm around his beaming wife. Thankful to finally be safely back with his family.

Next chapter

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