#andstill said fuck it

[sunsetnap]

𓄹  ㅤ ࣪˖  ㅤ⌢  ㅤ‎‎✶    just   as   darling   is   vacating   bar   vicinity   does   tender   voice   draw   her   back   in,   orbs   widening   with   a   sense   of   innocence.   it   was   a   terrible   idea   —   sticking   around   awaiting   a   handsome   stranger.   knew   crowd   of   friends   that   currently   gossip   in   corner   of   establishment   would   look   down   on   such   concept,   would   throw   numerous   jabs   at   homme   for   an   assortment   of   rather   elitist   grounds   that   only   their   materialistic   cerebrums   could   come   up   with.   but   he   was   cute   ...   and   princess   had   grown   disinterested   with   the   copied   and   pasted   plethora   of   lovers   she'd   spend   her   time   with.   ❛   okay   ...   yeah.   i'd   like   that.   ❜   a   whisper   shared   between   them,   dark   irises   fixated   on   his   own   as   small   grin   begins   to   tug   at   corners   of   plump   petals.   ❛   an   hour.   ❜   the   countdown   begins,   frame   gravitating   towards   crowd   of   inebriated   bodies   before   disappearing   entirely.

❛   you're   on   my   friends   shit   list   now,   you   know.   ❜   room   now   empty,   stray   employees   tidying   up   premises   as   she   nears   bar   once   more.   countdown   had   met   its   end   and   i'd   be   a   lie   if   she   said   she   wasnt   thinking   of   him   the   entire   time.   ❛   they   say   you   could   be   a   serial   killer   just   waiting   to   chop   me   into   pieces...   ❜   adorns   devilish   smirk   as   limbs   fold   over   countertop,   leaning   into   his   space   once   more   as   he   offers   final   touches   for   the   night.   ❛   i   really   hope   you   prove   them   wrong.   ❜   

              hesitant   grin   forms   at   her   attempt   of   reassurance   ;   if   only   she   knew   the   month   of   his   life   leading   up   to   now.   families   and   elite   she   speaks   of   would   shriek   in   horror   at   his   hands   ,   he   thinks.   but   he   doesn't   regret   it.   "   you   do   ?   "   a   brow   raises   at   this.   while   it   was   nice   to   have   freedom   beyond   familial   judgement   ,   rowan   wishes   his   own   life   had   a   little   more   stability   to   it.   what   happens   if   someone   from   his   town   locates   him   ?   where   will   he   run to then   ?   is   his   mom   safe   ?   his   friends   back   home   ?   what   is   he   supposed   to   do   next   ?   only   a   few   of   the   never - ending   worries   that   haunt   him   from   dawn   to   dusk.   he's   just   about   to   disagree   with   her   then   ,   explain   how   he   thinks   he'd   might   like   it   if   someone   took   the   reins   of   his   life   for   once   —   tell   him   what   the   hell   he   should   do   ,   but   an   apologetic   demeanor   splits   the   mood   and   begins   to   pull   her   away.   "   oh   ,   no   it's   —   it's   cool   ,   "   he   tries.   "   i   mean   i   told   you   my   thing   ,   right   ?   "   or   at   least   what   she   thought   was   his   equivalent   of   opening   up   to   her.   deep   down   he   wishes   she hadn't   shared   such   personal   thoughts.   maybe   then   he   wouldn't   feel   so   bad   about   lying   about   his   own.   damn   it   ,   this   is   exactly   why   walls   are   necessary.

              "   hey   .   .   "   a   brief   pause   allows   him   to   set   the   glass   to   the   side   and   homme   slowly   leans   forward against bartop , keeping his voice low.   " uh   ,   if   you're   not   doing   anything   after   this   .   .   you   should   stick   around.   we   close   in   an   hour.   "   it's   a   terrible   idea.   the   worst   idea   he's   had   since   igniting   an   entire   building   in   flames   .   .   but   rowan's   been   lonely   and   the   girl   before   him   is   dripping   with   temptation.   "   i   don't   know   ,   maybe   we   can   get   up   to   something   not   apart of everyone else's plans.   if   you   want.   "

              fuck. too   late   now.

[kay-is-dying]

LIV RETAINS JUST LIKE I FUCKING SAID IKDR!!!! #AndStill!!!!! WATCH HER!!!!!

[somewhere-i-can-be-alone]

wow

theres a lot to unpack rn lololol ok too much to write down so im just gonna go here because my keyboard is cool as fuck and omg maybe this setting isnt the smartest for right now hahahahhaha ok thats better lol

when i look at myself its like im looking at someone else i dont feel like the person im looking at yeah du mbass u sjust said that lol

theres a lot of ways i can interpret this and it all really leads to one conclusion i think? nbut im gonna write down how i feel about all of htem

- all of a sudden i cant remmbeb,ber shit about shit lol

- my brain is trying to relive the younger parts of me. im 18 physically but my mimnd wants to relive the 16 year old because i never felt the                    (i cant even describe it because i didnt fducking DO IT Lol ) but i shouldve enjoyed my younger years. basically. i didnt feel the rush of a party or a first kiss or feel the physical feeling of a million different colored strobe lights inside my veins) and i desp arately my boxdy li terally needs that feeling. and now i feel like tat younger version of myself looking up at 18 year old me. i dont hate her but its like hey! i did all this fun shit and i can do the  older people shit too andstill look like a bad bitch LOL

- i forgot the other interpreta tions ohhhhh that  im just . im not the body i am in but the person inside it yaknow lol type shit ok im tired dont feel like writing anymore bye 

-e. 7.21.2020 2:26am

is that how i did the other post idk

this shit is fun af btw