#andraaaaaa 🫂♥️ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lanasblood · 1 year ago

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ANDRA ♥︎

te iubesc. ek het you lief. unë të dua. እወድሻለሁ. أحبك . Ես քեզ սիրում եմ. munsmawa. mən səni sevirəm. maite zaitut. я цябе кахаю. আমিতোমায়ভালোবাসি. volim te. oбичам те. မင်းကိုချစ်တယ်. 我愛你 . t'estimo. gihigugma tika. ndimakukondani. ti tengu caru. miluji tě. jeg elsker dig. ik houd van je. ma armastan sind. melɔ̃ wò. دوستت دارم. au domoni iko. mahal kita. minä rakastan sinua. je t’aime. is breá liom tú. quérote. Მიყვარხარ. ich liebe dich. Σε αγαπώ. rohayhu. mwen renmen ou. aloha wau iā ʻoe. אני אוהב אותך. मैं आपसे प्यार करती हूँ. kuv hlub koj. szeretlek. ég elska þig. a hụrụ m g�� n'anya. ay-ayaten ka. aku mencintaimu. ti amo. 愛してます. мен сені жақсы көремін. ខ្ញុំ ស្រលាញ់ អ្នក. ndagukunda. 사랑해요. ez hej te dikim. ຂ້ອຍ ຮັກ ເຈົ້າ. te amo. es mīlu tevi. aš tave myliu. ech hunn dech gär. tiako ianao. saya sayang awak. inħobbok. 我愛你. aroha ana ahau ki a koe. Би чамд хайртай. nimitztlazohtla nimitznequi. ayóó'ánííníshní. म तिमीलाई माया गर्छु . jeg elsker deg. زه ستا سره مینه لرم. kocham cię. ਮੈਂ ਤੁਹਾਨੂੰ ਪਿਆਰ ਕਰਦਾ ਹਾਂ. sin jaalladha. kuyaykim. я тебя люблю. oute alofa ia oe. ke волим те. kea u rata. lúbim ťa. ljubim te. waan ku jeclahay. nakupenda. jag älskar dig. uua here vau ia oe. நான் உன்னை நேசிக்கிறேன். ฉันรักคุณ. ང་ཁྱོད་ལ་དགའ།. oku ou 'ofa au 'ia koe. ndza ku rhandza. seni seviyorum. я тебе люблю. men sizni sevaman. tôi yêu bạn. rwy'n dy garu di. ndiyakuthanda. i love you. nga yawne lu oer.

i can’t thank you enough for your amazing notes, i am in love. special thanks to you for noticing the poem, you’re the first to comment on it (and you googling it made me crack up honestly, but yeah, i’d probably do the same) <3

also publish a book asap so that I can throw money at you.

NO. I said it first to you... so you do it and i’ll follow, remember? but i love the second half of this comment so much, and i’m still grinning when I write this, because, babe, you know, you don’t need to wait for a published book to throw money at me (and suddenly the urge to become a stripper is back)

awww andra I absolutely loved reading your theories, they're so interesting!! personally, I have a love-hate relationship with amnesia tropes because they always frustrate me as a reader. so, I didn't want to put you through the same experience. the unfamiliarity of the village is indeed because it belongs to another clan (I read that some clans like the tipani have multiple individual villages in different locations within the forest/jungle and I kinda wanted to play with the idea). I intentionally left it open for interpretation, but in my perspective, it was neteyam's brilliant idea to go there at the last minute due to the reader's worsening condition and the shorter distance compared to their own village; I also wanted to hint at the fact that neteyam is well-liked by everyone, including other clan leaders who praise him and speak warmly of him, which is why it only makes sense that he receives help from everyone whenever he needs it. in this scene world-building was a bit struggling since I tried to write it through her eyes (which is probably the main reason of the confusion) but I learned from it and I’ll do a better job at explaining in chapter two.

I’m back to being confused, and i love it

I hope this confusion regarding that part is resolved after finishing the chapter. in this scene, I tried to emphasize the information asymmetry between neteyam and the reader because they are literally talking past each other, missing crucial pieces of information lollll

THANK YOU SO MUCH ANDRA I LOVE YOU MORE AND YOU ARE LITERALLY THE QUEEN OF MOTIVATION BECAUSE CH. 2 IS ALMOST FINISHED NOW BECAUSE OF YOU!!!

p.s. you figured out the four syllable sentence so quickly wooowwww I’d say I am impressed but you’re andra, of course you’re gonna figure it out 🥴♥️

SKYRACER | neteyam x reader

pairing: neteyam x f!reader

summary: you love your life, and you love your two best friends, lo’ak and kiri, missing them deeply when they leave for the tulkun season at the eastern sea once a year, leaving you all alone with the rest of the sully’s, including neteyam. as you prepare for another farewell, everything takes an unexpected turn on a fateful night, altering the course of your lives forever.

word count: 4.9k

warnings: mention of blood, (no sweat), and tears, best friend lo’ak (platonic soulmates), lovely supporting friend kiri, tension between neteyam and you, protective neteyam, caring neteyam, angry neteyam, mention of heartbreak from previous relationship, alcohol use and parties, basically the beginning of a love story through melancholy and hardships .

note: takes place five years after the events of atwow. this is a repost. series masterlist

* gif‘s not mine.

in the depths of my mind, I kept you hidden, a treasure too priceless to be revealed, for your soul is pure, your beauty unbidden, a rose in the fields, unconquered, unconcealed.

On the night when it all began, the sky stretched above, clear and serene, while a gentle breeze rustled through the air. The moon, a slender crescent, cast its ethereal glow upon the dense forests of Pandora, drawing intricate shadows upon the tents nestled amidst the towering trees. Its radiance danced upon the still surface of the deserted lake, while the forest itself seemed adorned with a tapestry of fallen leaves and meandering vines.

Your body felt weak, your heartbeat faltered, its rhythm growing feeble, and your pulse felt strangely sluggish. With a heavy sigh escaping your lips, you sank down onto the ground, your trembling hands finding their way to the tangles of your hair. The wind, mischievous in its playful dance, toyed with the fabric of your loincloth and the flowers and feathers that adorned your form, teasing and loosening a single strand from the intricately braided locks that Kiri had graced with delicately handcrafted beads that evening.

With a desperate gesture, you pressed the balls of your hands firmly against your closed eyes, seeking respite from the world. Colors of light and dark swirled in a dizzying dance behind your lids, creating a kaleidoscope of sensations. The sharp pain that had taken residence above your temples intensified, causing another low, pained sigh to escape from your chapped lips as if carrying the weight of your weariness.

You heard your name before you felt his hand on your arm, his knee touched yours and for a brief moment, your heart almost completely stopped. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him yet; your eyes were strangely veiled as if they were watering. “What’s going on?”

There was an uncomfortable metallic taste in your mouth, and you carefully put your hand to your lips, only to discover the crimson evidence of blood trickling on your lips from your nose. Images of that night were difficult to push aside anyway, but in connection with the headache, it was almost impossible to suppress the onslaught of memories.

You cursed under your breath, your voice cracked and feeble, as you looked up at Lo'ak with an awkward expression.

“Bro—” Lo'ak’s voice trailed off as his eyebrows shot up, his gaze shifting to the blood on your hand and then on your face. Swiftly, he retrieved a cloth that was secured to his side near his hunting knife. “Take this, it’s clean. I only used it to polish my knife.”

Gratefully, you accepted the cloth and pressed it against your nose to stem the bleeding.

“You need to see Tsahìk,” he said softly, his eyes fixed on your profile.

“That's—” you began to protest, but the pain cut through your words. It hit you suddenly and with greater intensity than before, almost violently, leaving you gasping for breath. You attempted to stand, but your knees gave way, and you slumped down. Lo'ak struggled to keep you upright, his arms straining to support you.

“You have to see Tsahìk,” he repeated, and you could only weakly shake your head. Blood trickled down your chin in thin lines, dripping onto the edge of your upper piece, leaving dark-red stains on the feathers. “You’ve been feeling unwell all evening. I’m worried about you.”

That’s how he was, Lo'ak Sully. Caring and considerate, not towards everyone, actually towards no one, but towards a selected few, including you. Instead of enjoying the celebration held in his honor, he had barely left your side throughout the evening. Even now, he preferred sitting with you rather than accepting another drinking challenge. In two days, he would embark on another journey to the Eastern Sea as the Tulkun Season was about to begin, and you wouldn’t be able to see him for a long, long time. Actually, you should be grateful; missing him would only be temporary, and you would have something to look forward to. Five years ago, when you thought you would never see the Sully’s again, it looked quite different. Back then, external circumstances had forced them to leave your clan and seek shelter far away in the East, leaving you with a void deep inside you. Fortunately, those external circumstances had been resolved by now, and Lo'ak, he was both Omatikaya and Metkayina now, being the bridge between the two clans, with the tattoo on his side below his cummerbund serving as proof. You were very proud of him and loved listening to his stories about his other friends and adventures. However, the farewell was close, meaning until his return in six moons, you would miss him, so much.

“You’re drunk,” you managed to say with difficulty. Speaking was incredibly hard for you, and the words felt fragile on your lips. “The village is over an hour away. And I won’t let you fly; I’d rather die a wretched death out here.”

“As charming as ever,” Lo'ak muttered but secretly agreed. “Y/n, I… Can you stand up?” Of course, you couldn’t. He presumably realized that in the next moment. “I’m going to quickly run back to the party, and you’ll wait for me to return, okay? I’ll hurry, I promise. Do you understand me?”

Your nod came seconds too late; he had already headed back toward the direction of loud music and youthful laughter. The vibrations reached the ground, shaking the earth beneath you. You could faintly hear Kiri’s laughter as someone played the blue flute in the background. The spots danced before your eyes without you having to close them, and while the pain in your temples had eased, every sudden movement felt like your skull was about to explode.

A small group of young Na'vi passed by on the other side, maybe ten meters away from you, laughing and drinking while heading straight into the forest, but without noticing you; two couples, maybe a year or two older than you, with their hands clasped and bottles sharing.

The following thought brought a crooked smile to your lips and, inexplicably, tears to your eyes. But it was true. Pathetic as it may seem at first glance, all you wanted was to be truly loved, to have your mate by your side; a man with a strong heart who would love you like Jake loved Neytiri, who would call you beautiful even in the mornings when you woke up with messy hair and a puffy face; who would create a safe haven in his arms, where you could be vulnerable and share your deepest secrets; who would make you laugh with his infectious sense of humor, turning ordinary moments into extraordinary memories; who would hold your heart in his hands and cherished it as if it were his own, loving you unconditionally, flaws and all, reminding you that you are enough. Sometimes, more than anything, you wished for that to happen. And on those days, even Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan seemed somewhat attractive with his fleeting, almost coy smile directed towards yet another girl.

Another girl, yes. By now you were convinced that not just the girls but your whole clan had developed a crush, no matter how tiny or big, on the golden boy, and he liked that, of course, he did, he loved the attention and praise from almost anyone; almost, leaving you to possibly be the only person in the whole village who he wouldn’t willingly exchange a word with. Not that you minded, on the contrary, you’d never gotten along with Neteyam since you were kids and you knew that it was mutual.

It wasn’t that you had never been in love before, experiencing the euphoria and joy of a promising and fulfilling future ahead. But once your heart had been shattered, it became challenging for you to trust in someone else’s words, no matter how beautifully spoken. This is why stepping out of your comfort zone felt incredibly difficult for you.

“We’re back,” Lo'ak’s voice interrupted your thoughts, and as he helped you up, you realized who we referred to. Indeed, Neteyam Sully stood before you, holding the saddle for his ikran, and looked down at you, almost with a hint of pity.

“Why him of all people?” you grumbled, giving Lo'ak a weary glance. You felt like tears were ready to spill at any moment. “What about Kiri?”

“I didn’t want to interrupt Kiri in her debate on equality versus equity against that flute guy. Plus, Neteyam is probably the only one around here who isn’t too drunk to fly.”

“No one?” you exclaimed, unable to hide your disbelief. However, before you could receive a proper answer, Neteyam himself lifted you onto his ikran, who rested a few meters away beneath the canopy of flower trees, alongside the other majestic creatures. With a swift motion that would typically have prompted an eye roll of annoyance — your current state sadly left no room for such sentiments — he positioned himself right behind you, his presence uncomfortably close, your thighs almost touching. He gently patted his ikran on the head to greet her, before he encircled your waist with his arms in a way that made your back lean onto his torso. And then, with a profound connection, he established a swaheylu bond with his ikran.

“Hold on tight,” he whispered to you and nodded toward a slightly lost-looking Lo'ak behind your shoulder. His voice trembled slightly, almost imperceptibly, as he continued. “I may not be fond of you, but I really don’t want to bear the responsibility for your death. Got it?”

That night was the moment when you first grasped the gravity of the situation, realizing that it was indeed something serious.

∾⋄∾⋄∾⋄∾

When Neteyam, as carefully and gently as he could, lifted you off his ikran right in front of a village that seemed unfamiliar to you and carried you with quick, firm steps into one of the tents in his arms, the night air suddenly seemed terribly cold and biting, and you realized you weren’t home. All the words on your lips vanished into the darkness, and you seemed even too weak to cry.

He whispered reassuring words to you, told you he had to bring you to the nearest village he could find, looked at you with so much concern in his eyes that you were sure you were hallucinating, asked you to try and stay awake as long as you could, but as soon as you had entered the tent, everything seemed to flow into a single moment. After Neteyam formally introduced himself, an elderly woman with red feathers in her hair told him to carry you right after her, anything else would have been a waste of time. She asked him a lot; your name, your age, what had happened that evening, whether anything like that had happened before.

You were almost surprised at how collected he was and how many of the questions he was able to answer so quickly, but actually it was only logical – he also spent as much time with Lo'ak as you did, so you, too, couldn’t help but learn a lot about the oh-so-legendary Neteyam Sully. As if that mattered.

Inside the tent, there was an unusual calmness, contrary to your expectations. In your own clan, Tsahìk’s tent was always bustling with activity, filled with people seeking healing or simply enjoying each other’s company. But in this clan, it felt different. It was quieter, almost serene, yet it carried an air of solitude. You couldn’t help but notice a middle-aged man seated on one of the mats, his head buried in his hands as if he were anxiously awaiting something. Or someone. Next to him, a little girl lay with a peaceful face, seemingly asleep.

You really had no clue why this man of all people was stuck in your mind so clearly – this inconspicuous man, the only steadfast memory of that night.

The night when it all began.

The last thing you felt was Neteyam’s hand on yours. Then everything went black and the only thing that remained was the picture of golden eyes and the man in the healing tent.

Vawm na txon. As dark as the night.

∾⋄∾⋄∾⋄∾

When you felt his fingertips on your wrist, you involuntarily winced and looked up. “Hey, Lo'ak,” you muttered, and he immediately pulled you into a gentle hug and kissed your hairline. His voice sounded hoarse and rough and the bittersweet smell of sweet yovo fruit mixed with a bit of salt hung on his skin; and heaven, you would have loved to never let go of him again.

For a moment he just looked at you in silence and frowned before he sat across from you on the grass. Lo'ak started to say something, but his voice failed and a low sigh caught in the air around you.

“You look tired.” You almost laughed, and it didn’t even feel wrong. You look tired. Tuk had said the same thing earlier that morning while sitting in front of her herbal tea and half of Neytiri’s infamous sari seed bread. She had preferred eating her morning meal in her grandmother’s tent, because you were there too, not for relaxation, but to drink the disgusting mixture Mo'at prepared for you every single morning for the last three moons. Uttering those words, Tuk had even cast the same concerned look at you, with the same worried expression on her freckled, delicate face, just like her older brother was doing now, and it had almost broken your heart.

“I didn’t sleep well last night, that’s all.”

When he said your name, admonishing with a sigh, his voice quivered, teetering on the edge of concern, before he hesitantly continued, “Are you… okay?“

His unspoken words hung heavy in the air, etched upon his countenance. You could see the unvoiced questions etching lines of worry upon his face, ’In the past few moons you haven’t gotten back to me or anyone else, nor did you answer a single radio call, I tried to reach out to you several times, but you ignored me, you never asked to speak to me, and when my family sent you my greetings you just smiled and made promises that you never intended to keep, nothing.’ yet they remained trapped within the confines of his sealed lips. The restrained inquiry and underlying disappointment were palpable, like a suppressed ache that threatened to consume him; and deep down, you knew his effort to withhold his concerns only magnified your own pain, intensifying the weight of his unspoken concerns.

"You’re my best friend,” he finally just said and ran his hand through his already chaotic braids.

At the same moment, out of pure impulse, you brushed a tangled strand of hair from your face. You had already heard last week that Lo'ak and Kiri would return early to transport some rations from here to Awa'atlu, thanks to Max and Norm who had decided to expand their labs to the Eastern Sea. At the same time, you didn’t want to get too excited because they would only stay for a maximum of one week before being away for three more moons. Nevertheless, you had missed him. Every day since that party and their department two days later, you had thought of the moment he and Kiri left for the Eastern Sea, how he had briefly refused to leave until you were feeling better, how hard it was for you and his parents to convince him that everything was alright; how Lo'ak had promised to check in on you over the radio every evening just before the eclipse, how he had kept his promise, but you hadn’t, and how you were contemplating telling him what had happened in those three months since he was gone, too anxious of his reaction; even more than the one time you had to make an important decision almost ten cycles ago:

“Why is he so mean? His radio code name is Pathfinder, and he has the audacity to criticize mine? He called me Plain Grandma, can you believe that!?”

“He also called you Slow Vipertail which is far worse in my eyes,” Lo'ak had commented dryly.

“Shut up, Eagle Eye!” you had crossed your arms in front of your chest, pouting, “What is so bad about Stargirl?”

“No offense but it couldn’t be any girlier."

"Well, I am a girl.”

“But do you want the enemy to know that?"

"I thought our frequency was secure?”

“You never know with them.” When you had continued to pout, Lo'ak had nudged you encouragingly with his elbow, “Come on, you can be Silent Thunder if you like.”

“Isn’t that what you call your farts?” Kiri, who had remained completely silent during your discussion, was the one who had made that comment. You had made a disgusted face in response.

“Okaaay,” Lo'ak had groaned, “Then be anything but Stargirl, Eywa, just choose something or I’ll do it for you. Remember, your code name sticks with you forever.”

In the end, the discussion had dragged on for so long that during the evening meal, the two of you had managed to irritate every clan member within a two-meter radius. Jake had taken it upon himself to bring it to a close and gave you your personal radio code name, which you cherished to this day. Not because it had come from your former Olo'eyktan, but from a person you loved and respected like your own father; it was more than an honor to you.

You looked at him now, at Jake’s identical copy, a bittersweet smile forming at the corners of your mouth, tinged with nostalgia. His eyes were like the early sun rays that morning at Tsahìk’s tent; two orbs of amber with irregular, whitish spots of cream – strange that this, of all things, crossed your mind at that second.

“Eagle Eye to Skyracer,” he playfully nudged your knee in an attempt to lighten the mood, “Come on, tell me why you avoid me.”

And then, then you said it out loud; a single little sentence of four syllables, and his once sunlight-radiating eyes were covered by lids streaked with fine, pale blue veins, holding a glimmer of melancholy, like a fading sunset.

“Please, no,” he whispered, his voice filled with sadness, as you sought comfort in the embrace of his arms, burying your head in the crook of his neck. Salty tears mingled with your lips as you clung to each other, his fingers interlacing with yours, a desperate grip that turned his knuckles almost white, the weight of the impending fate pressed upon you both.

As the realization settled within him, Lo'ak let go of you and collapsed onto the grass, his shoulders shaking with uncontrollable sobs and trembling with the intensity of his emotions. You immediately wrapped your arms around him again, wanting to share his emotions, knowing that this pain was as much his as it was yours, while the air around you seemed heavy with helplessness as the two of you sat there, engulfed in the depths of your shared pain.

“No!” he cried out all of a sudden, his voice choked on his tears. Saliva glistened on his quivering lips, his breath was ragged and uneven; and his eyes, bloodshot and filled with more unshed tears, refused to accept the harsh reality you just told him.

“Why? Why you?” Lo'ak’s voice cracked as the words escaped through clenched teeth. His fists clenched tightly, nails digging into the ground beneath you, as if trying to anchor himself to the pain, refusing to accept the meaning behind your words. His tears mingled with yours as you still held him close, feeling his agony reverberate through your own heart.

Lo'ak’s voice was laced with raw fury. “This can’t be happening! It’s not fair!”

The wind whispered through the grass, carrying the echoes of his anguish across the desolate landscape, but leaving his voice hanging in the air. The setting sun, a silent witness to the unraveling of two intertwined souls, cast its pale light upon the scene, casting long shadows around you.

Lo'ak’s emotions gave way to desperate pleas, his voice cracking with desperation. “Please, there must be a way. I’ll talk to my dad, he… he can…” he choked on his tears once more, “Anything. I’ll give anything.”

You stroked his trembling cheek, tears flowing freely down your own face. “I know you would. But sometimes, there are forces beyond our control, Lo'ak, I need you to understand that.”

Lo'ak’s resistance crumbled, his body sinking into a heap of devastation. His nose ran, mingling with the tears streaming down his face. He clung to you, a lifeline in the midst of a tempestuous sea, refusing to let go even as the waves crashed around him.

The evening wore on, its grey hue mirroring the somberness of your hearts. There were no words that could ease the ache or undo the cruel fate, so, you remained there, seeking comfort in the silence, finding comfort in each other’s arms for you drew strength from one another, offering support amidst the overwhelming feelings that engulfed you.

∾⋄∾⋄∾⋄∾

The next day, as the sun bathed the forest in a golden glow, you were sitting near the quiet stream by yourself, keeping yourself distracted and enjoying the gentle tickle of water, when you heard footsteps growing louder as someone approached you. You turned around, a calm expression masking the inner storm within you, just to see Neteyam, his expression hardened with determination

Your eyes met his, and you could see anger, confusion, and concern in his gaze all at once, catching you completely off-guard; it was strange that he sought you out in the first place, and then seeing him so… emotional, that was a first.

He stood tall before you, the sun at his back, giving him an angelic glow that he surely didn’t deserve, and it was ironic, too, given his angry pout that you were sure Lo'ak would’ve made fun of if he was here.

Neteyam’s voice was laced with a tinge of bitterness when he spoke, “You’ve broken my brother’s heart. What did you do to him?”

“You already have your answer, apparently I’ve broken his heart,” you said sarcastically to which he scoffed. You remained composed, refusing to allow his words to rattle you, and your voice carried a hint of indifference as you added, “Trust me, I haven’t done and wouldn’t ever do anything to intentionally hurt Lo'ak.”

Neteyam’s nostrils flared as frustration mingled with his anger. The man, normally composed, couldn’t be further away from that in that very moment, when he took a deliberate step closer, his gaze locking with yours. “Don’t play innocent with me. You must’ve betrayed him in some way.”

“Betrayal requires intent, Neteyam,” You held his gaze, unyielding in the face of his accusations, “Whatever you think I’ve done, it wasn’t with the purpose of hurting Lo'ak.”

Neteyam’s anger wavered for a moment, replaced by a flicker of uncertainty. His brow furrowed as he tried to make sense of the situation. “Then why? Why is he crying and suffering if it wasn’t your doing? What could have caused this?”

A bittersweet smile graced your lips as you shook your head gently.

“It’s true, isn’t it? What Ivät said at training this mor—”

“Don’t say his name,” you warned, your voice carrying a deep, growling tone from the back of your throat.

Neteyam’s anger softened, replaced by curiosity and even a sense of empathy. Though skepticism still lingered in his voice, genuine concern emerged, “But why? Why would you go back to him? He should be exiled but here you are, running back to him after everything he’s done to you.”

“Tell me again why any of this matters to you?” you questioned.

“Lo'ak cares for you, deeply. I care for him, deeply. That means everything you do eventually affects me,” Neteyam explained, attempting to convey the weight of his words. “Understand that your actions have consequences for everyone around you.”

“I’m not having this conversation with you right now,” you declared sighing, walking past him with determined steps.

“Just tell your parents you don’t want to,” he shouted after you, “I can… My family could support you, you know. You don’t have to do anything against your will.”

“Well,” you turned around, snapping at him, “you can’t fight against fate, can you?”

There was a brief pause as Neteyam absorbed your words, realization slowly dawning on him that there might be more to the situation than he initially believed. His eyes darkened, and his nails dug into his palms as he struggled to control his emotions, “You can try.”

You let out an ironic huff, shaking your head slightly and biting your inner cheek to prevent a sarcastic comment from slipping out.

“I am not your enemy,” he continued in a softer tone, seeking your eyes, “I’m only here trying to help you, yet you—”

“That, Neteyam, is not my concern,” you interrupted him harshly. You met his gaze finally, the weight of unspoken truths hanging in the air between you. “I never asked for your help, nor do I need it. If you truly care about your brother, perhaps you should be there for him and ask him directly how you can help him instead of mingling with my private life and assuming the worst of me.”

With that, you turned back around and kept walking away with determined steps, leaving Neteyam standing by the stream alone with his swirling thoughts, but you couldn’t deny the flicker of vulnerability within you as a twinge of guilt tugged at your conscience for the way you had treated the only person who had recently saved your life, accompanied by a sense of regret for your harsh words, realizing that you had never even thanked him.

∾⋄∾⋄∾⋄∾

A few hours later, you were sitting on the wooden floor in your family’s tent; leaning your head against the slightly dirty rolled-up rug near the entry and pulling your knees so close to your body that the hem of your loincloth slipped a long way down your thigh. The evening had long since settled over the landscapes, and it was now dark outside. In your hands, you were holding a handcrafted mug with still steaming herbal tea that Kiri had brought you a few minutes earlier, and you clutched it so tight that your knuckles were clearly visible on your skin.

Kiri was now sitting at the opposite side of you next to your hammock as she thoughtfully twisted the hem of her loincloth between her fingers, like she always did when she didn’t know what to say, before deciding to leave the fabric alone.

“Now tell me, what’s going on?” You sighed softly and something in your friend’s gaze brought tears to your eyes, but you didn’t want to cry, not again. You liked Kiri a lot, she was the girl you were closest friends with, in the entire clan, but you hated to refer to her as ‘best friend’, although, strictly speaking, she was. You liked Kiri actually so much that you couldn’t do it to her. Not after seeing what it had done to Lo'ak. You couldn’t bear to see two broken souls within a day. But your previous encounter with Neteyam had taught you something: you had to be the one whom they heard the news of, not someone else, let alone a stranger. It had to be you. That much you owed them at least. And yet, it was so difficult.

“Everything’s fine. Really.” A weak smile crept on your face involuntarily, while you took a sip of your tea. “Come on, Kiri. Don’t be stupid, you’re missing out on the evening meal.”

“You as well.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You’re always hungry.” You sat up straight and leaned one leg over the other so you could look directly at Kiri. There was something in her gaze between concern and helplessness, but you could only vaguely make it out. She bit her lower lip lightly before continuing. “I met Lo'ak earlier, he looked… he really didn’t look good, and he seemed kind of absent.”

“He’s probably missing Tsireya already.”

“He said I’d better talk to you about it.”

You kept quiet at that, unsure how to respond.

“You know, Neteyam said that you-know-who goes around saying… that he has approached your parents, seeking their approval to court you once again? Is that true?”

“Yes,” you answered without any emotion in your voice.

“But there is something else that saddens you.”

You lifted your shoulders slightly, just a tiny bit, and you already felt the tears threaten to fall down your eyelashes. You ran the back of your hand over your face, exhaled shakily, and pressed your lips together, but the first sob stumbled over your lips before you could have done anything about it.

You muttered a curse word, and it took you a moment to pull yourself together. “I’m sorry, Kiri. I am so incredibly sorry.” The tears ran down your cheeks unsteadily, and dripped onto the feathers on your chest, leaving behind light stains that faded a heartbeat later. “So far only my parents know, and probably yours, too, along with Tsahìk, of course. And Lo'ak, he knows, too. The others will find out when it can no longer be avoided, and… and this moment, it will come, but… you really cannot tell anyone, Kiri.”

Kiri stared at you blankly, a single hair strand had come off her bun and fell over her shoulder in a slight wave. She was afraid. You were too. You sniffed softly and looked down, just a brief moment before you pulled yourself together and looked up at her.

“I am dying, Kiri, and there is no cure.”

so basically, my first upload kinda flopped and I’m trying to find out the reason why, whether it’s my writing, the topic of the story (which I can understand since it’s not everyone’s cup of tea), or if it’s the algorithm. if you like this piece of writing, please let me know through your interaction 💕

#thank you for reblogging <3 #andraaaaaa 🫂♥️#my andra bb 💗#not you calling me your star #😭🤧🥺#ilysm baby #sorrows for starboy series

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