#andii . . .. . my loves .. .

[ae-neon]

Feel Free to Ignore

Don't have the time and brain capacity to jump into Memories of Ice rn (though I have read the prologue) so I'm rereading Gardens of The Moon for comfort (pain)

Barely past the battle of Pale and already my brain is itching for connections and answers

- What the hell happened to Dassem Ultor, what god did he betray and where is he (he's definitely not dead)

- the emperor met a watery demise 🤔 nothing about Ammanas /Shadowthrone /Kellanved feels connected to water but I'm remembering the stranded ship with the decapitated crew in the warren with an ocean that was not an ocean at all

-^ now that I'm thinking about this the T'lan Imass we meet there do something similar to the Jaghut children in the moi prologue, sacrificing someone to seal a rift

- the cough in Lorn's room after Paran left and how she knew what happened in the throne room. Laseen's guards also react to unspoken commands, she remembers Paran from years ago and given what we see when Kalam meets her in DHG, there is definitely magery at play

- can't wait to get more of Tavore, I was only slightly disappointed we didn't see her in DHG but it was completely understandable given how much that book already covered

- ^ also given (I might be misremembering) how it was Tavore who arranged a member of the Talon to look after Felisin, Gamet the houseguard and the mystery of his background is standing out more to me now

- I missed quick Ben and Kalam duo so bad

- Lorn, I love you

- Calot was actually so sweet for the 0.5 seconds we knew him 😭

- Hairlock is 7 cities???? He is also stinky and should have ripped Tayschrenn's throat out

- From Sail's description of Dujek looking younger and stronger and even a little taller than he should and given his fame, I think he had already begun his ascension

- I already figured out the sister of cold night's identity from her talk with kallor but in hindsight it's actually so sad that part of her bond with Bellurdan was due to the advice she'd taken from her brother

- I don't know why my brain didn't register on first read that the bridgeburners had essentially been stuck digging under Pale for YEARS before the battle of Pale. I feel so sorry for Whiskeyjack and his men

- the poem about Caladan Brood implying Anomander Rake has "recently" awaken

- had to check but during her speculation on the warren, the bonecaster guesses omtose phellack, tellann, and starvald demelain but not the two tiste elder warrens.

-^ the tiste andii are elder creatures, something like Mother Dark's first children but the bonecaster doesn't consider them. I wonder if they didn't cross paths as a species then

- wtf really happened in the last 7 cities campaign, like I remember it's implied that whatever went down at Aren was a mess

- and what the fuck halved the T'lan Imass forces

Some of these might get answered in Gardens itself but it's crazy how much more there is to pick up on during a reread and I'm only 2 books into the series. Malazan gonna have me set for life 😭

[rose4pup]

Fun facts about me

I'm a m!n0r but anyone can interact just don't be weird

I'm new to tumblr (I came from tiktok 4n4 community its very different on here.)

My whole family is 0bese SOOO

I'm a f00d addict despite trying so overwhelming hard to res

I first image is what I dress and look like vs what I want to look like is second image.

I want to be a game developer for horror games

I love Fnaf, Anime, Creepyspasta,Little pet shops, Welcome home, drawing even though i suck, despite wanting to make horror games i am easily scared.

My whole life i have been 0bese except for when I was 8 and had to move to a different Country City??? I was very close to d!abetic and had to be put on a vegan diet with my sister. we got very th!n and I still thought i was f@t even then. then when we moved out with our dad because he thought they weren't taking care of us when he figured out the conditions. we gained a ton of weight, both me and my sister. i forgot to mention since like 3rd grade I refused to eat lunch, then in 5th grade (184 lbs) i started p*rging and skipping bre@kfast and lunch then b!ng!ng at home. I stopped doing that during summer and gained back so much weight.in 6th grade I would redo the not e@ting,b!nging, and p()rging cycle all over again. during that summer I gained to 194. I then starting locking in, first time I got a calorie counter and steps tracker. but i Iwas more wannarex!c, I'm pretty sure I'm a 4n0rex!c or at least junk0rex!c but whatever. then I moved with my dad again and bought a scale and got more in control. I lost to 175 lbs. and then I had to move with my mom because of financial issues. so, I moved back to my birthplace. then I gained back so much, like I mentioned majority of my family is obese or at least overweight so with all the unhealthy eating, lack of a scale, no self-control, constant fast food and my granny's cooking I got to a disgusting 225. Now I'm trying to lose back all that shit and keep failing. as of writing this i have only had liquids except for my f@t@ss eating four mini reeses from my uncle.

I was really slow in k-2 grade then in 3-7 i got a random boost of intelligence but i wasn't really smart just have good memory and I'm always reading cause I've been a gacha kid since 2018. (if your reading this I promise this isn't my best grammar)

I like danganronpa but i am broke so i watch kubz scouts and biju mike play it. I'm watching the playthroughs in the wrong order no spoilers please. I love fnaf, butI enjoyed the movie despite hating the lore changes.

I liked wonyoungism and in the beginning of 7th grade i had a huge kpop phase but thats gone now.

In 5th grade I thought a was bisexual andIi was a feminist, 6th grade I was a man h@ter and a lesbian despite me being obsessed with male gay romance but whatever. now I'm realizing I was straight and in denial(plus i started hearing stories about crimes commited by men on women and how common it is but now i'm realizing anyone can be evil so i no longer hate me i hate everyone. true EQUALITY) I only had two crushes on girls, and they were just my close friends and I had misread feelings, i was jealous of my best friend(5-now) thinness, beauty, curly hair, fashion, and personality i literally wanted to be her and i was obsessed but i misread it as a crush. then my other friend who treated me like shit despite me being her first real friend. in the past i wanted her validation but now I don't and that makes her mad. Idk but her treating me unfairly and always mocking me for my weight despite being overweight herself manifested in me craving her validation and believing it was a crush.

I've been a gacha tuber for 4 out of the 5 years i've been a youtuber and I only have 1,500 subs i feel like i should give up but i genuinely like my story telling but i never make the videos because i hate nearly everything i make so i never try anymore.

I like minecraft,roblox,gacha,pinterest,wattpad,AO3, and idk what else to add currently.

when i say i'm an anime fan i mean i know a few popular ones, jjk,beaststars,demonslayer,black butler,made in a abyss,danganronpa, ajin demi human,tokyo ghoul,hunter x hunter, Komi can't communicate, blue exorcist, attack on titan,chainsaw man,my hero,helluva a boss if that counts.

I like melanie martinez,aesteria,6 rarely human,ketseki,mitski,ayesha erotica,lumi athena,odetari,rebyzx,thats a few most songs i listen to i only like that one song by the artist and not the rest.

I litterally have no life and sit in bed all day with dreams and hopes but never getting up to do them but the funny part is i can get up to eat like bro thats the one thing i don't want to do but for some reason i was end up eating while thinking i'm never g0nna e@t again, promising to fast tomorrow just to b!nge.

I know its cringe and common but my favorite animals are wolves, A+ for loyalty an family team work. I also love cheatahs.

I love animal facts and documentaries.

I didn't grow up in jamaica,i'm only half jamaican.

Since I was only skinny for 2 years i ate the fact, I have barely any pictures plus the fact in most pictures I do have I realized its very unlikely I will have a thigh gap as skinny me looked skeletal up top like literally dead but for some reason my thighs were still muscly. but ! have grown alot since then.

I love lavender,rose pink and black.

If you want to know (sukuna 1,gojo 2,toji 3, choso 4,I know none of yall like mahito but he 5, geto/kenjaku 6. smk.)

Bye now and I hope i'm not sharing to much.

block don't report ig

[tmwcs]

Im very curious after looking at so many drafts and questions about Heethen what was his character based off of? Who inspired him? I cot hooked after reading the first chapter of MGR and I could not stop reading it but when I got to MRE I was mindblown like it was good????? Im obsessed with Heethan and I want to know more about how you decided to create his character it just seems so fitting for Heeseung for an odd reason. If it was any other member I feel like it would not have worked out but I can actually see Heeseung being a switch like Heethan and being very dedicated to his true love.

Lol i get very happy when i read about people loving heethan, he's great.

so believe it or not, heethan was inspired by.....yours truly. lol. well it stemmed off from a reaction i had when i saw this girl during my college orientation, she was in her last year in college and i remembered overhearing some of the people talking about her, but i didn't really pay any mind (exactly how i drafted heethan in that one chapter in HHP when he overheard the guys talking about y/n, before he actually saw her) his whole "yeah whatever" attitude was exactly like mine. but then......when i saw the girl, i was absolutely stunned. she was kind of unreal to be honest and i was obsessed with the way she looked, talked, laughed, and the way she walked. i'm straight, but this goes to show you that there was something about this girl that just kind of hypnotized ppl. anyhow, my reaction was what inspired and created heethan's character, which was actually originally an original male character i created called "andiy." but a friend of mine who is a bigtime enhypen fan, and was all about heeseung, convinced me to take my draft and revise it to reflect heeseung and y/n, and create a tumblr account. so that's how it all started. the idea of an alter ego was something i came up with to reflect the good vs evil vibe because i like that type of stuff, like dr. jeckyll and mr. hyde was my favorite story for the longest time. i just liked the idea of two personalities in one body, it provided alot of thrilling and sexy moments 😉 and i like the yandere type love so that's why he's a sick in love maniac that claimed his y/n.

but yeah. that's how it all started. it could have been any member but it just so happened my friend from high school was just soooooooo in love with heeseung and literally begged me to make the story about him. contrary to what is assumed, i didnt have the girl i saw in mind when i drafted y/n. even though heethan was created and inspired by my reaction, i purposely became impartial to her when i drafted y/n. the only thing i kept intact was the way people reacted and spoke about her but that's it. when it came to her face, skin, nails, and hair, that was all a big blank so readers can fit their own image into the story, with everyone, including heethan, admiring them and looking at them like a queen. 😉

[optiwashere]

I stopped reading Gardens of the Moon after 250~ pages because frequent character switches got confusing and I couldn't get a solid idea of the magic system. Does it ever get better?

I liked the the prologue, but I feel like they just dropped me into middle of 50 different powers scheming against each other after that. Also the coin is spinning.

TL;DR — This is a series that I love but really struggle to recommend.

Anon, it took me... ten years (?) to finish that book. I still think it's pretty terrible even having read the whole main series. So, I get where you're coming from lol.

That said, the writing quality immediately skyrockets when you hit Deadhouse Gates due to the fact that he wrote that book so many years after the first. But the books fly around a massive world and constantly switch around POVs, so...

If you don't like frequent POV switches, then you won't like the series. Flat out. There's something like 450 POV characters, but some of those brief POVs are some of the most powerful. Some of the characters are really high up in my faves of all time. Onos T'oolan, Tavore & Felisin Paran, Beak... Samar Dev??? Korlat!!! Itkovian, my beloved... there's some amazing characters mixed in with some truly awful ones.

And if you're someone that likes hard magic systems, you won't like Warrens. I don't like hard magic — when a book touts its "magic system" first, I'm immediately negatively biased towards it through no fault of the writer in 99% of cases — so it worked for me.

Pros:

Really broad worldbuilding with lots of cultural influences that aren't Western blended in with traditional Western fantasy.

Erikson has an excellent prose style later on (yeah, I know, it's very difficult to believe considering Gardens) and he has a very elegant way of expressing postmodernist ideas.

Extremely varied women characters (hell, Tattersail in Book 1 is already pretty unusual, sadly, in fantasy for being a fat character who's noted as extremely attractive — and Erikson doesn't stop at her when it comes to hot fat women, what a king.)

My favorite withdrawn, depressed, badass, ruthless lesbian commander character of all time, Tavore Paran.

Very strong messages about compassion and what it means to do "the right thing" in the face of overwhelming adversity.

Despite largely dealing with militaries and soldiers, the books are really about kindness, loss, and love, as well as finding the space within oneself to reject the notion of unconquerable despair.

Cons:

Erikson has, like, four character archetypes and they all blend together (barring a few standout characters.)

The worldbuilding is so broad that it sometimes feels pretty shallow.

Erikson loves using excessive epithets (the soldier, the ex-priest, etc.) and it's wild that those made it through professional editing.

Sometimes, Erikson likes his own prose style so much that we have to listen to identical characters internally monologue over identical woes and dramas. I love the Tiste Andii, but holy shit...

There are so many cases of plotting being hidden from the reader in transparent ways. Conversations where two people will refuse to elaborate their thoughts where they often cut off one another with inane, oblique reasons so that the reader is left in the lurch in a way that is often personally unsatisfying.

Possibly neutral or possibly a con, but there's a trillion content warnings scattered all through the books that are actually really, really serious (lots of sexual assault, and in several of those cases it's either completely unnecessary or actively detrimental to the story IMO.)

Having said all of that, I'll leave you with some quotes for why I still love the series despite its (to me) many flaws:

Open to them your hand to the shore, watch them walk into the sea. Press upon them all they need, see them yearn for all they want. Gift to them the calm pool of words, watch them draw the sword. Bless upon them the satiation of peace, see them starve for war. Grant them darkness and they will lust for light. Deliver to them death and hear them beg for life. Beget life and they will murder your kin. Be as they are and they see you different. Show wisdom and you are a fool. The shore gives way to the sea. And the sea, my friends, Does not dream of you. —Reaper's Gale

"No tyrant could thrive where every subject says no. The tyrant thrives when the first fucking fool salutes." —Toll the Hounds

Against a broken heart, even absurdity falters. Because words fall away. A dialogue of silence. That deafens. & The failure of hope has a name: it is called suffering. —The Crippled God

[chloristoflora]

She continued on, beneath the gate's arch, her eyes fixing on the hilltop beyond the shattered corpses carpeting the killing field. Where I will find him. All that is left. His face, gift of memories, now grown cold. I saw the life flee his eyes. The moment of death, of dying. Withdrawing, away from those eyes, withdrawing, back and away. Leaving, leaving me.

Her steps slowed, the pain of loss threatening to overwhelm her.

Dear Mother Dark, do you look down upon me, now? Do you see me, your child? Do you smile, to see me so broken? I have, after all, repeated your fatal errors of old. Yielding my heart, succumbing to the foolish dream - Light's dance, you longed for that embrace, didn't you?

And were betrayed.

(...)

Rain struck her brow, stung the ragged, open gash of her wound. She halted, looked up, to see Moon's Spawn directly overhead... weeping down upon her...

... and upon the field of corpses surrounding her, and, beyond and to the right, upon thousands of kneeling T'lan Imass. The dead, the abandoned, a wash of deepening colours, as if in the rain the scene, so softly saturated, was growing more solid, more real. No longer the faded tableau of a Tiste Andii's regard. Life, drawn short, to sharpen every detail, flush every colour, to make every moment an ache.

And she could hold back no longer. Whiskeyjack. My love.

Moments later, her own tears joined the salt-laden water running down her face.

Memories of Ice, by Steven Erikson (Malazan Book of the Fallen #3)

[halucynator]

hey lucy <33 now while i am absolutely in love with you (love you btw!) i feel we should get to know each other better, yk? so i thought it would be fun to do a sort of twenty questions kind of deal! i’ll send you a question, you answer it and then send me one back and i’ll answer it and so on and so on.

the questions don’t have to be serious or anything heavy! they can range from like “what’s one of your happiest memories?” to “cats or dogs?” kind of just anything you might wanna know about me :)

i’ll start, what’s your favorite song at the moment? <3

hiii andii!! yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes that sounds like a fabulous idea (im in love with you MORE)

my favourite song at the moment, hmm so it's probably either architecture by maisie peters or fault line by gracie abrams (the second one is slightly biased bc i learned to successfully play it on the guitar but also gracie abrams>>>>>>)

i love you a lot andii!!

mwah <33

[drrutherford]

amescastaignede​:

Amélie: I honestly didn’t realise you two were friends, otherwise I’d have said something. I’ve not seen her since the Awards, and I mean – not much was said? Amélie: That’s awesome. She’s a really lovely girl. At least I don’t have to do the whole awkward meeting, where you two have to see if you’ll like each other.  😂 Amélie: It’s not….huge in comparison to most places. I mean, Englands small in general.  Amélie: I once had an online friend, who I bumped INTO and had never met before. I was too shy to say anything but still, small world. (15 minutes later) Amélie: Oh.. um. Amélie: Sure? Amélie: Is there something I need to know?  Amélie: Because you’re either just very drunk or acting sus. 

Gideon: ddont have to explain your friendships to me lia andiy obviously dont need my permission it’s just (2 minutes later) Gideon: Nvm Gideon: [message read ✓✓] Gideon: What? Gideon: Need to know about what Amélie??

[tmwcs]

Its coming…

Started to dig up the chapters for the sequel, will try to find the energy to re-edit beginning this weekend. Please continue showing your support bc even though I’m merely re-editing, it does get time consuming and can be a bit of a drag sometimes. But I’m glad to see everyone enjoying MGR so far.

MGR had a lot of poetic symbolism and the internal monologues reflecting the connection and love between the two main characters (originally named Andiy and Elena).

The sequel won’t have any of that, the sexual themes is a lot more direct and pretty much pure and regular smut. There will be lots of additional warnings issued bc MRE (My Roommates Ex) will have lots of sexual themes, disorders, and mentions of assault and harassment in it. So please pay attention to the warning tags as I post the chapters . MRE will be significantly shorter as far as chapters go.

[halucynator]

2, 11, 13, 18, and 23 💙

ty for the ask andii!! ilyy

2- what’s your feel-good movie?

i dont really watch movies but like maybe leap/ballerina? its such a cute concept to me honestly i love it

11- what's your ideal date?

hmm idrk i guess anything thats the slightest bit romantic i think i'd probably not prefer going to restaurants on dates tho bc i'd prefer to be alone and quite like maybe like watching the stars as the hours roll by or just talking and laughing and getting to know each other anything thats cute and genuine <3

13- what's your comfort food?

literally anything with cheese. the more cheese the better!! i really like pasta and a chicken curry always lifts up my mood askjdhkajsh

18- do you still love stuffed animals?

yep i have this one specific dog one that i always need around me lol

23- favorite piece of clothing?

this pair of cargo pants that i have i literally wear them everywhere so comfyyy!!

thanks for the asks!! ily!

[tmwcs]

so do u like enhypen? or kpop? or is hee just some dude that u use a reference for fics lmao? cuz he is like damn smoking hot right?

im being noisy and want to know more about u i guess

lol isnt he though? MGR/MRE/HHP Heeseung is hotter than fire, he's a stud like big time. he's literally the man to everyones dreams and he's got that whole mystery, cool, and suave thing about him, but he's humble and doesn't flaunt it like most men who fit the description would. he's got a very genuine personality and is loving towards those he cares about. wait till i start posting HHP, you'll see alot more smoking hot Heeseung. like...really hot. and it's not just in the bedroom either. I'm curious what you guys find about MGR/MRE heeseung super attractive, because if it's his mannerisms, please let me know because it helps with the future chapters.

I like all music, and I do listen to kpop, i wasnt (still not entirely) familiar with enhypen, my friend actually is a huge fan of them. her favorite is heeseung and whenever i would have her read my drafts when i was really active on fanfiction.net (i was writing ff for anime, tv shows, and kdramas) she asked me if i could re-edit some of the stories to reflect heeseung, and pretty much convinced me to make a tumblr profile for heeseung fics. which i'm glad she did because i love seeing everyone enjoy the story.

MGR/MRE/HHP Heeseung replaced a character i made up in the series named Andiy, and the personality and character was something i just made up entirely on my own. I kind of base all my characters on myself, even male leads (just always ask myself how i would go about the event if i was a male and in this scenario) and that's how i'm able to portray their character. When i changed Andiy into Heeseung, i re-edit some of the content so it had some of the real heeseung in there (like his hobbies with bb, dancing, his appearance, facial expressions) which consist of alot of googling because up until last month i did not know who the guy was lol. but i wanted to include some authenticity in the character so it helped make some sense of certain scenarios, for instance, his strength and agility is all attributed to his dancing and playing bb.

but i will say, the series is so much better with heeseung, because not only do you already have an actual vision of his appearance, i think it made the story better because his expressions, aura, and vibe fits better. so when i re-edited the series, i was getting so hyped and surprised myself because even though the events in the series didnt change, the character connection, the smut scenes, adn everything was 10x better.