#and I have to give myself props for having stuck to the gimmick of never naming the characters outside of dialogue

[hanzi83]

Venting Venting Venting

It feels like it has been a while since I have done a blog. Luckily I have jotted down the thoughts I wanted to express over a week ago, but the issue is the shit I feel passionate about at the moment because it is constantly being talked about in the discourse, but the last week or so I have been at a lot of wrestling shows, so I wasn’t just stuck at home trying to isolate myself to further stick it to people who already pushed me into isolation for the last 13 years, but when you are not online much, it feels good not to consume the nonstop discourse that will have genuine issues and concern but gimmicked into a culture war where no solutions will be had and it will be more sports entertainment where we dunk on people for being hypocrites and it will be constant dumbing down the villains you are supposed to be worried about. I kept up with key stuff that was going on on some level, but it felt good not to have to see nonstop gaslighting, plus twitter was fucked up this past weekend which was a blessing in disguise for me, like I don’t have to worry about many people interacting with me since I have legit been blackballed from being seen as relevant, the problem is, that there are still dangerous funded trolls who monitor me and try to insert themselves into my life, plus you never know when people from the past will resurface for their own agendas, but whenever I feel good for a bit, it always has to come with more mental anguish, like sometimes when I have had a good time and feel less stressed and mentally ill, I often just sit back and enjoy the thoughts and positive vibes I have in my head and processing things where I don’t even want to jot down these good feelings because everything I do is monitored, just like everyone on this planet is monitored, and I feel if I put it down I have been feeling good, my trolls will be paid to show back up and instill more paranoia, or people who thought sucking up to me for a few years, who also secretly have deals with my trolls will come back, and because they don’t get the interaction they want, they will try to instigate shitty trolling with their less than charismatic personalities to goad me into getting into an argument, they will try to start shit, then still pretend they are on “Team Hanzi” yet they will be in other people’s comments posting pictures of me because they have them all saved because they are closeted groupies who probably jerk off to my fat face, while being an edge lord and projecting on me as being gay as an insult, that is probably a hit in those mediocre group chats that fake like each other’s shitty jokes but because it is the common bond of hatred for me, they will give each other pretentious high fives. So the “good feeling” is rubbing off and I can sense when the negative energy tries to resurface so I would rather vent about a few things to melt it from my head so I don’t fucking build up more frustration, where my mind goes to looking at the future scenarios and get mad at these scenarios that I am envisioning which play a part in the accumulative nature of mental illness in my fucking head that constantly builds up. I don’t mind showing my irrational behavior because mental illness is not a pretty thing, people want to support the notion of awareness but then constantly deny what institutions and the system has done to many people who suffer, you solely have to take all the accountability and responsibility while people who will keep doing this to people will be protected and be propped up as these great human beings. The best part of this, is people have to pretend they don’t read it because it goes beyond the script they play with online where they have to repeat the official narratives about me on the Stern Show, and the online shit has become just as gimmicked, it may have meant something in the 90’s and early 2000’s and I realize we have constantly been rebooting the decade we are in and correlate with the current climate by the aesthetic when I feel shit has become 100 times more advanced, and the wrong people who have platforms are the ones who get to pretend to be experts while these pussies do their shitty right wing pivots, and more people will show that side, everyone eventually throws on an NWO shirt. They rather work with the hive mind and regress rather than learning to evolve, people who have the greatest aesthetic are the most fucked up people on the planet, and the solace I have is that eventually they will realize their closed ones will even think they are fucking sociopaths and will not want to be around them or at the very least, they will be fucked up too, selling out might give you a better aesthetic, but the way some of these people act, and how contentious they get, shows they hate themselves deep down as they dissolve into soulless villains who will have more vitriol for the people trying to fight back against fascism than the fascists themselves. Everyone is finding their way of crossing over and it is scary. I really wish I was not here for this, because I have sene so many people oppose people going for right wing pivots and it seems all of them are eventually doing it too, especially when they dumb down narratives. Promoting shitty debates that won’t go anywhere, or bringing awareness of more villains that exist in the discourse to be villains, but nothing will happen to them because they are protected but they get the benefits of acting like they are being canceled, so they will get some rejuvenation into their grift that they are doing. 

Let’s start with TYT’s continued regression. They have done so many bone headed things over the last week, it is hard to keep up with but this is why the right wing wins because even people on the left who are kind of condemning them, some people are fully calling them out for their gaslighting bullshit they are doing while pretending to be victims, but there are some who pretend they don’t want this to be and maybe you don’t but if you are gonna play a fucking pro wrestling naive babyface who will constantly trust Ric Flair, before he fucking turns on you again then what does that say, it is like you are giving people a reason to look at these people going more right wing to be fucking cool, thing is even if TYT is regressing and sophisticating it and being defended by very far right wing people, they could never in a million years ever fucking sound cool, when Ana Kasparian says “Homeboy this” “Homeboy that” she comes off like Monic Gellar when she says “You go girl” like she doesn’t sound like a fucking authentic human being. She is probably being studied by Marlon Wayans when he decides to make a sequel of White Chicks. And she knows what she is doing but she and Cenk are too pussy to admit they are becoming Nazis and will constantly take shots at people being mad at them when they are the ones who literally try to go for the engagement. People don’t want to believe a bunch of these alt media people have become the biggest frauds, they will become the people they hated when they point out “I CALLED OUT THE IRAQ WAR 20 YEARS AGO.. I WAS DESIGNED TO BE RIGHT BECAUSE MY ILK WAS GONNA BE THE NEW SELLOUTS WHO CAN CONSTANTLY SHIT ON MSM WHILE MISLEADING OURSELVES” and I know a lot of you who surround yourself with that ilk are sociopaths and that makes you dangerous, it certainly isn’t your fucking personality or the humor you have, most of you are just as bad as establishment MSM. First Ana retweets this moral stance about people on social media who are kind of being boastful of the submarine people who died in the titanic shit, here is the thing these billionaires are buying a way out of this planet or living underground because the world is going to shit, and all this twitter limit shit, and reddit fucking up etc, they are trying to fuck up these social media places because when shit does go to complete and utter shit, there will hardly be a way to find out what is really happening and it will be dominated by the propped up people aligned with Elon Musk. But my shitty conspiracy aside, and anything that I say in this blog or say on the podcast, I don’t know 100 percent, which is why I go off by the vibes and I am all over the fucking map, but it is fine, there is no pressure in me writing the most prolific piece of literature, no one is really looking for me to do that, but the important people do consume what I write and get mad about it and I expect them to extract revenge down the line, they will collaborate with more fundamentalist types online and other fed like accounts to try and push me to the brink of insanity because they are butt hurt they couldn’t get me to be on the right wing side, maybe you convinced people from my past to join that side, but I would rather fucking die than be on that fundamentalist side that is gonna be the modern Nazi shit. Ana Kasparian will get up in arms about people not giving a shit about billionaires who knew the risk of going into that shit, but at the same time, she will demonize homeless and do her “crime wave” shtick, and act like she is confused what to do with these people, yet she will whitewash dangerous politicians and influential people who are criminals and have gotten away with so much. They will bring up the trans in sports issue to act like it is not a winning issue, but this issue is so rare that is being promoted in sensationalist ways to make it seem like this is being forced in sports and they do the separate but equal type of talk, knowing it is more complicated, and the only people who bring this up are right wing people who helped create this issue in sports because people who don’t think they are political, will consume news about sports and entertainment, and they use these political issues that won’t be presented with nuance or people who are from that community and it will be people who are just reactionary and they fear monger about this and dictate how people can feel about it, even though they are using culture war shit to help ease people into accepting these fundamentalist laws that will harm these communities. They have helped promote the bare minimum of Trump over the last decade and did their sports entertainment, but now they pretend to be voices of reason of being “fair” about why Trump resonates etc, they know the future of this shit but they kayfabe their hate for the democrats solely, knowing that whoever the world champion is, Vince McMahon is the one who is booking the direction, and this is why different bad faith actors will use a lesser established presidential candidate as this new voice, when they won’t make the difference on the surface if the same guy is writing the storylines and putting it together, but they want their new face to be the guy who will represent for the right wing system, and by making it look like they are solely focused on Trump helps, but now TYT and others get to act like they are above that, when they have misleaded, and the only “corrections” they have made have been to appease the far right because again they are fucking cowards who don’t want to admit they got their assholes branded with Nazi symbols, while Ben Shapiro and Candice Owens play judge of who has a better one. They will then do stories where they will make excuses for fascist shit, where they will defend Rick Scott for warning against people who are socialist to stay out of Florida like it is gonna be danger but then she does “both sides” and she even says in the program “I know people are gonna hate I do both sides” basically that translates to “I know people hate that I am leaning toward catering to Nazis because me and my co host are the biggest money whores on the planet, but I am gonna continue to do it anyway” These people claim to be better than the MSM but they can’t even do a fucking story without flailing their shitty arms about how wokeness is going too far because social climbers online who could be bad faith actors yelled at them and that gets focused on rather than the people who are actually being polite and being friendly and correcting them on where they went wrong and they insist on going down the white supremacist path. They are not charismatic enough to pull it off but  they are dangerous because they are protected pussies who will keep doubling down and gaslighting people and then playing victims on their press run where you are uplifting Jesse Singal, and now leaning more into the anti trans shit that is sophisticated, and claiming people yelled at Lee Fang for reporting on violence at the BLM protests. They will constantly talk about people being emotional reactionaries but their entire fucking being on this planet is fucking acting like reactionaries, they do a fucking story about how some conservative who used to be homophobic has been finding the errors of his ways and is accepting of LGBTQ people etc, and that is a good story to do, genuine regular people who have been brainwashed and breaking out from it, it is a beautiful thing. But they then tie the story of an imaginary crowd canceling this guy already, like you did a good story but you had to take jabs at people who called you out for being transphobic and creating issues so you can get yourself canceled. She has no problem talking to white supremacists and whitewashing it, she will then in bad faith talk about how Rick Scott’s warning is not different from people who were warning about going to Florida if you are from a marginalized community, and said “I was just in Florida, it is fine, there were pride flags there and people were celebrating” yes I am sure certain areas people are celebrating their month etc, but it doesn’t mean the overall pattern in the future is to get rid of those people too, but she has to both sides to protect fascism, and then she and Cenk get to parade around and act like they represent for progressives so a bunch of right wing people can do the same shit they do with Bill Maher and Jimmy Dore and do the “Well I don’t view myself as a leftist, but TYT and Jimmy Dore are making sense” yeah because they are catering to the fundamentalist right wing side and promote fake culture wars so they can do their witty sitcom banter, and I know you will keep doubling down on your shitty personalities but you guys are not that talented, you are not even human beings, you are robot personalities trying to do your own establishment show. I wish more leftists would call it out for what it is, but it seems most of the leftists the last several years have been deciding to dumb shit down even though they pretend they are smarter than everyone, but they will definitely all start going more to the right wing side eventually. They are scared of these fucking jerkoffs who want to play footsy with Nazis? Ana Kasparian is scared to talk to people outside her race but she is not scared of being okay with Trump normalizing his fascist bullshit, you will pretend there is nothing to be scared about with DeSantis who has fascist aspirations and promote fake sports entertainment where it leaves your audience no choice but to have to pick a side and that is some sicko shit. 

The affirmative action controversy happened and they even have tokens who are conservative fundamentalists being happy about it because it is putting a hindrance on their movement, when the world already has a bunch of unfair shit and this affirmative action shit was never designed to help minorities on a social level, meaning yeah they might get a position or a spot in a school etc, but the social energy towards them is met with vitriol because a bunch of racists and self hating minorities will deem them as not being worthy of having the spot, like the white people in those positions have all the experience and there was no favoritism toward them. They are getting different minority groups recruited for a bunch of fundamentalist conservative issues, you could say that it is forced diversity because the far right wing loves minorities who go against anything that liberal minded people will promote even if Affirmative action doesn’t solve all racial injustices but it is needed, but they make it seem like the system really wants this, but it is designed for right wing people from a right wing trajectory system to capitulate so their road to fascism comes off as some victory that was earned. And of course people like TYT will agree with it because a bunch of racist people will say racist shit so we have to capitulate and pretend this system in general is by merit, when it is all about who bows down the powerful people and their narratives, and making it seem because the liberals present shit in limited ways, that the pushback from funded sports entertainers online are the genuine politically incorrect opinion. TYT was even used in a fucking DeSantis ad even if it was taken out of context but that symbolizes they are going that route but TYT is buying time to act like it was taken out of context but even if that specific clip was taken out of context, your other content has been sophisticating your white supremacist agenda, Cenk is the biggest token Muslim cosplaying as a fucking progressive, the guy is mastering his fucking Bababooey/Hacksaw Jim Duggan gimmick. They will keep finding ways to be okay with fascist propaganda and act like people who are gonna be affected as being people who are crying about non winning issues, just because you guys weren’t strong enough to stick to your “progressive principles” like every other post leftist dipshit who for so long used their credibility being better than MSM and the establishment while not explaining the establishment has expanded online and with a bunch of the entertainers in the streaming world. They and others have helped dumb down the rhetoric and dumb down the villains who will be serious threats, because they know their position will be protected, they have treated politics and serious issues for their armchair quarterback game, and turned into a pretentious reality show because they want to be the characters on Succession, and think their banter is actually funny. Everyone thinks they are funny and guess what, that means no one is fucking funny, sure you will have your cults all pretending you are the funniest people on the planet, but you know deep down they are only supporting you for your shitty political opinions because you are bowing down to the far right, and the thing is if these conspiracies that the right wing peddle come true or one story from it comes true, it is like the establishment democrats and bought off personalities purposefully limited it, so when something does come true, guess who will get credit? The right wing and some of you know that, and you are helping them. Like when MTG talks about her television being hacked and shit connecting to it, if I didn’t know who MTG is and just heard the story of what happened, yes I could believe that shit like that can be hacked, there have been times where my smart TV has been hacked, my trolls will show off about doing that, but because it is MTG who is probably lying about it, now it means the entire conspiracy cannot be true, and it is like why would you limit shit? It is like how they project over the feds being this evil force, like they have been, and if it is proven that these feds helped with the insurrection, the right wing will win the narrative of making it look like they were framed, when my conspiratorial brain goes to the fact that I believe that these feds would be on their side, and they would make it look like they are framing them so it will fuel the next insurrection to be 100 times more dangerous because they will feel vindicated with being the ones who were the voices of reason, hence all these celebrations of corporations capitulating. The liberals present white supremacy on a bare minimum level, and go by the over the top aesthetic, that the right wing can pretend that everything is generalized into white supremacy so when ABC News is doing stories about downplaying Moms for Liberty, people will act like people on the left are wrong to be outraged that ABC News is being fair to this group when this group is a far right wing group that has constantly used Hitler quotes, and people who defend it go “No they are using quotes to show what the left are doing” but that is also fucking not true, so they are not only using Hitler quotes but they are applying them to people who are trying to fight back against that shit, so now you will notice more and more media in the establishment will capitulate to these people and they will see it as a victory. Again this is just my personal fucking opinion. I don’t have the answers, but again I am either irrelevant or I am not, and you chose to do that, so don’t worry about a lowly Pakistani, I know a bunch of you right wingers have been recruiting a bunch of token Muslims to join your fundamentalist cause to hate on the LGBTQ but to those Muslims who want to fucking join that side, or other token minorities who want to, look at how they are talking about immigrants over these France riots and I am sure there are regular people really pissed, but how do I know there aren’t far right wing funded groups who are causing more chaos to blame it on all the Muslims and they are too busy hating on Muslims and finding a way to shit on minorities for the fucked up shit going on in France, where now they don’t give a shit about what happens in Palestine, and fundamentalists on the neoliberal and neoconservative sides will control both sides of the argument where anyone who calls out what Israel is doing and how fucked up the government is, it will be deemed Anti Semitic, and because the places to go to talk about it become limited, where else can you go? Alt media or online message boards to talk about it, and that is where the other far right wing fundamentalists are on some level, where they will generalize Jewish people entirely and this is how they can get people who are confused about Russia/Ukraine to then think Russia is this innocent victim, and people who might not know better will see how they never give a shit about Muslims even if they pretend they are concerned for about 15 minutes, and that is how it is easy to get swept into this propaganda, it is like the neoliberals want to push more people to the right. Now they have fear mongering going on with migrants in France doing all of this, when it is another trickle down effect of where the world is going so they can justify why bringing in their form of fascism, and now that I don’t trust anyone as far as news goes with their narratives, it is hard to know what is real now, like people are convinced that behind the scenes footage of Fast and Furious of cards falling out of buildings is real footage and talking about how Africans are taking over France, these people are not playing the rules and they are running with narratives that will endanger shit, all because the people who perpetuate it can just do 90’s aesthetics and shit on the transparent MSM is bad angle and make that their entire personality trait. They will even pretend the MSM is not talking about this, but they link to a MSM article talking about it, and if I had continued down that path 12 years ago, I would’ve been one of those dipshits, but then again maybe I would make more money and be successful since everyone has to pay the piper when they want to advance, not to say there isn’t hard work or skill but when that hard work and skill is helping the white supremacist system flourish, it is like they have taken any of the progress made by the messaging a decade or so ago, and now think pushing back against complaints of racism, homophobia, sexism, transphobia etc, they are the ones who have the issues because the issues get presented in a limited way and this is how it all gets repeated in a cycle of bullshit with this sophistication of rebranding more ways to keep marginalized people marginalized and putting their lives in danger, and everyone who tries to fight back, then end up giving in where they start finding their own angle to then join in with the right wing side. We can’t agree with the Epstein shit, they will tell us officially there is no foul play and people will think by pointing out MSM is lying about it means their side if 100 percent true, but they will never entertain the idea that their favorite politicians and public figures who are leaning more right haven’t been there and they supposed don’t trust the feds but then believe some CIA guy who is trying to “expose sex trafficking” and I am sure it exists, but people on the liberal side will act like the notion is fucking ridiculous when it does exist, and in my opinion the ones who are pointing it out that is exists to weaponize against all liberals etc, are probably the ones who are guilty of it. But people will keep dumbing down the the evil and levitate shit with comedy because that entertainment form has never felt any lesser with everything constantly being catered to that notion so if you think what someone is doing is inherently evil, all we have to do is constantly make it into this shitty sports entertainment and nothing gets solved, it just goes in cycles. The world is gonna implode more and more, they even take that incident that started all this protesting in France by having the argument be about another “both sides” argument because the person shot had a record, and then the result is violence and impending doom so it makes it seem like people concerned about police brutality are the ones who are into violence while the far right wing calls for violence nonstop and try to use their symbolism to talk about what they plan to do in the future. It feels like the far right wing is taking over every country on some level, or maybe a good position of countries while they present country vs country aesthetic. 

Another thing is with people who are discredited on the surface and are related to shitty people, like Liz Cheney warning about Trump not being able to get close to the White House, like her father and Bush Jr weren’t bad or anything but maybe that shit is self preservation of what will happen in the future so we have it on record people warned about this, even though in the present it seems people ignored the other shit in the past that got us to this place, so we then are supposed to assume Trump is not as evil as others and they are actually trying to stop him, if they were gonna stop him, he would’ve have been able to catch traction, the overall build of not trusting the MSM or Hollywood Liberals worked so well because they were the ones who were calling out Trump so most people who don’t like that shit assumed Trump was the anti establishment guy because even though he resorts to edge lord behavior, he would let some truth slip out about other shit on some level. But it feels like the same players with the use of sports entertainment can make it seem like if they say good things on some level, we have to blindly trust them, and if that person ends up being shady then their entire anti Trump message doesn’t have meaning and I believe the same power players in the Bush era, that ilk, have found a way to make it seem like the aesthetic of the US warning about Russia is on the same level as warning about Iraq, but what if the narratives is supposed to be that the same dynamics have intellectualized itself with the same kinds of people actually being aligned with far right wing over there, so it is like they remixed the discourse but by the surface we have to think supporting Ukraine during this invasion is he same exact scenario as something 20 years ago because the US lied about shit, and they don’t do themselves favors when they don’t deem Palestinians as human beings. People who already feel disillusioned with shit then can see that if they get no support and they weaponize so much against one community that other communities get protection, and instead of hating other communities or countries for getting protection, I wish others would get concern as well, but this is how people who might not know better get lured in. As a dumbed down guy who doesn’t know how to retain all this information coming at me, I have never been more confused about narratives anymore. Like even people who I have respected about their takes on Palestine etc, have now implemented their right wing beliefs on their platforms and buy into this forced push with RFK Jr, like someone like George Galloway who would speak out about what Israel is doing to Palestine is gonna back RFK Jr who has justified why Israel does what they do, so you just can’t claim you are some anti Imperialist and then align with people who are gonna have bad intentions, it is sick that you would take a genuine issue in what is happening over there and then lure people into this new form of fundamentalist. Look at this marketing with Roseanne, much like a lot of celebs, she at one time would speak out about the fundamentalism in showbiz and talked about MK Ultra, and I know people don’t believe that exists, but now the last several years it is like she has been going further right, and her and Theo Von marketed a controversy for his podcast to get promoted, so that it was an obvious sarcastic joke, even though it was not that funny, but then the online reactionaries who are supposed to be liberal etc, who I think take shit out of context on purpose, so then these shitty comedians can go “OH MY GOD ARE WE AT A POINT WHERE WE DON’T RECOGNIZE SARCASM” Yeah I can recognize sarcasm, but she may have been joking in the most hacky way possible, but she also gave respect to MTG as well, and this has been accumulating with fake cancel culture bullshit. It doesn’t matter, it is the whole “radio won’t play my jam” shit that these people do and they are just amplifying it on HGH after doing a fucking 24 hour coke binge and these people with hive mind think it means shit because the people who market this shit are propping up up. And I am not gonna buy into this bullshit anymore. She said black people control rap and that is when I knew she was completely full of shit, sure there are black people who might have power and be figure heads etc, there might be more black people who might gate keep something that is their culture, but it is all these fundamentalist execs who have power behind the scenes, and I know “OH IS THAT CODE FOR JEWISHHHHHH” No, but yeah there are Jewish members of a delegation that are involved just like other delegations in the system who have power, I think Christian fundamentalism is what actually runs showbiz under the guise of freedom and liberation, but we won’t recognize it because we only see the obvious evangelical shit that is taking place. But now that bad faith actors are talking about it in an era where they are on a platform where they speak to millions, they are the ones who will generalize people from communities based off the delegations, it would be like if Sopranos were real, and I blamed all Italians on what the Italian mobsters do because they represent for their people on some level, but they will be the ones who have the power within their communities and you will deal with them so it is like you have feuding delegations, this is how they are doing this with the affirmative action shit, it was created by some dude Ed Blum, but they are using token Asians to help get this going, just like they are getting Muslims to get behind the fundamentalist shit against LGBTQ. The fundamentalist Muslims who these Chrsitian fundamentalists warned about to justify why you need to bomb the fuck out of them are now actually aligning with the fundamentalists they claimed to hate. So thanks for exposing that you just get off on the fact that Muslims are being tortured and destroyed. 

I know I am all over the map, but when I have a laundry list of shit to get off on my chest, I get scattered. I tend to fucking go off on these rants and venting as much as I can because I continue to see the world going into a very far right wing direction and I don’t know who from my past who tries to associate with me are connected with it since people want to get to the top and be associated with celebrities and will sell their soul, and now that I have been thinking on my own and have my own theories and try to analyze shit my own way it is a big no-no to people who will never educate people, they will just express their opinion if it helps their cause because they are associated with problematic people. I worry because I have been out of the loop but I get dragged out and seen with people from time to time and I don’t know what they have been up to or who they are associated with. That is why I refer not to be on this planet anymore because I know eventually the more and more people go to the right, I am gonna be forced to go down that route when I have been trying not to regress because I came so close, I know the conspiratorial shit has lead me there, but I like to think even if I am conspiratorial and maybe I am completely wrong about certain things, I am not trying to regress and actually use it for actually get people to evolve in my own fucked up way. I am all over the map with this but when things keep playing out and I am seeing more shit being normalized and promoted as victory because you got SCOTUS to allow discrimination to LGBTQ people or another faulty promise of student loan debt being done but then they take away shit, and they know the shit on the surface will always be imploding and it just feels like all the storylines are designed to get us there, and the more crazy it gets and people with platforms basically kayfabe the gimmicked shit, it will be their excuse to go further right, like if whatever happens under Biden’s watch happens, people will then think they can go on the Trump or DeSantis side, but their side will be the faces of where the fascism goes in an overall sense. That is how I see it, maybe being a pro wrestling fan all my life it is easy to see how this could play out, I know I am clearly not smarter than all the political gatekeepers out there. All these social media places popping up is like the main pro wrestling companies going to shit or losing favor in the early 2000s so everyone thinks they will be the next WWE or they will be the next competition for it. It just feels like everything is becoming a parody and it feels by design because the people who are jokes in showbiz and are not the relevant ones, like let’s say Rob Schneider kind of help leading the charge on this anti wokeness shit going on, people will then think the celebs who are bigger and more mainstream are actually on the side of their cause but the reason why so many of these showbiz people who come off as hasbeens or washed up problematic people seem like they are the ones who are the jokes but the jokes is that they are permitted to do this and catch traction on alt media, but they are being allowed by the same celebs who might come off as liberal on the surface, but how much can you take shit seriously when we are using these low level celebs who are easy to dunk on, so it completely gets levitated by the comedy of the whole thing because can you believe we are gonna be arguing with Dean Cain and Kevin Sorbo about the state of the world. It basically lessens the threat, because everyone is playing it by cliques, because people who are supposedly anti right wing seem like they are more relevant and happening but those same people are also gonna take their masks off to show their side where they reveal their right wing personas. Guys like Jimmy Dore are finding their ways to move to the right even more, because now they start doing the stop the steal nonsense without saying they are going that route, or they will start doing anti climate change shit, but not super obvious but eventually it goes to those lengths, for people who are supposed to be anti establishment, you are doing the establishment’s narratives but I guess because we question people’s motives or notice you wear a fucking stupid fedora, suddenly no one is credible because these people with platforms never want free thinkers, they say it in principle but they all want cult members who don’t question them because they said a couple of things that happened to prove them right throughout their career. Again I am just crossing off stuff that I had jotted down and I knew once I tried to kind of vent, it would overwhelm my mind and then I would start moving all over the place, but again this is one of the benefits of being someone who is not relied upon, I am not a destination blog or podcast, people know it exists, but I am not have people coming at me directly, sure there will be people who do monitor and keep an eye out on it and will use people in my life to fuck wit my mindstate, or they will get other people with bigger platforms to lure me on so officially I can have a bigger target on me in some kind of way. Like when I say that the whole Proud Boy vs Patriot Front is the biggest sports entertainment thing going on as well, and people on the left who seem to think the feds could not be white supremacists is the stupidest shit, like when right wing people say it is feds, it is being used for the purpose to convey that right leaning people are being framed and because they push back against their ties to white supremacy they use the feds as a way to downplay it, so when they say feds, they act like there couldn’t be factions that align with white supremacy in these institutions, then when the left downplays the possibility that of feds framing anyone when there is a history, they will say “It is because of white supremacy” but in a limited and generalized way like people in the feds could not have ties to that. But again it is more sports entertainment. And if it somehow revealed that the right wing on the surface is being framed etc, this will be their just cause to do whatever they want and people will buy into this propaganda. That is why with the way they promote these stories that could be used for viral moments and make people involved these characters, while also promoting vigilante justice to be done to cogs in the system who are probably funded by the system to act out, they promote thee stories because it plays a role in them becoming social media characters, that woman who shot the black women through her front door for ringing the bell will get off, and then the juxtaposition to then use a scenario where a 14 year old kid shot and killed someone protecting his mother when they were attacked in some restaurant. When these stories then have ties to celebs or it becomes this big news story it feels like it gets used to promote more vigilante shit, and also they have this story out there because more people will focus on the racist white woman who did what she did, so they can say that people will make excuses for the black mother’s son who shot at someone who was attacking her. I can see how these ghouls and fucking blood suckers exploit this shit so it eases us into this mindset when this shit, even violence could be funded by billionaires that helps facilitate the 24/7 news cycle and not even with traditional media, now all these think tank and propped up right wing figures, this world is going to shit. I see little implementations everyday by what they normalize in the discourse. Even the talk about pedo shit, like people like Libs of Tik Tok will show a video of naked bikers riding around at an event with little kids there, and then you don’t realize that the account that has plenty of kids watching her content are now seeing these naked bikers as well, it is like they don’t give a shit about it and the reason they prop sensationalist stories because if it happens with a group that identifies with a community by the aesthetic, but you don’t know if this sensationalist shit being promoted in certain instances are done by the right wing themselves, not like there aren’t right wingers who love to do homoerotic shit anyways, but they could easily have this organized to make it look certain ways but this is what happens when there aren’t many people who are opposite the right who will entertain something conspiratorial because it is only the right wing being permitted to be allowed to be that. I know people use their favorite prestige shows to compare to what is happening in real life etc, and it is always with the surface level shit, but if I look at this superhero shit and their hidden truths, it is considered a joke that I would ever think that they are showing us in plain sight what is happening on a symbolic level of what direction the world is going in. When we see the incompetent moves these politicians make on the surface, which I always assume is by design, you want to believe that they have been possessed or there is some Twin Peaks shit going on. Like am I really supposed to think RFK Jr is a real human being or if he is supposed to be a malfunctioning AI in real time, I never seen such a push for someone to act like they are being suppressed when he is in every alt media place, he is on MSM as well, there is constant stories about him, but it is like the alt media circles wanting to create their own “anti establishment” character when it means nothing anymore because everyone is compromised, all you have to do is give the impression he is being censored and since we think this is the 90’s we act like he is Bill Hicks going on public access shows for his appearances, it doesn’t have the same feeling and it feels just as establishment as the establishment person themselves, at least with an establishment person, I know there will be bullshit, but someone who acts like they are these ultimate truth tellers, they end up becoming suspect down the line and there is more proof to that over the last several years. If this were 10 years ago and you sold me on this RFK Jr shit as more systemic shit to get rid of him because of what they did to JFK, I would’ve thought there was merit to it, but who fucking knows. It feels they are trying way too hard to push this, and if people don’t like him, it is like they have to be gaslit people because are acting this is about free speech when this speech I can hear from other right wing dipshits, how is “speech” being threatened when protected people say that shit, as long as you make it look like there is suppression people will then think they are listening to someone dangerous. In most cases, the establishment backs these people who are anti establishment because it always seeps into some right wing fundamentalism. And then we have obvious gaffes that are going on with Biden, him saying shit like they can’t expand the SCOTUS because people will think it is being politicized because the right wing isn’t already doing this shit anyways, but if it is on the surface for a viral moment, who fucking knows what they are actually doing, most regular people would not gravitate towards that nuance because if they see the same old shit happening on the surface, then how would people think there is anything dangerous about this new right wing shit, when it has been levitated through comedy and entertainment in general. It is clear the shit that happens as a viral moment to me are ways to constantly keep the entertainment dollar flowing while the overall shit is moving into a far right direction hence why cowards who are protected feel more comfortable going that route, and me being stupid as is, with some of the trans issues because this is still pretty new to me as far as understanding the science and the treatments, the only things that get put out there are the sensationalist shit mixed with bad faith actors, like when I hear someone in the last 5 years like Joe Rogan who is around athletes and has been involved in sports, if he is telling his audience about some shit that ends up arguing in favor of being anti trans even if it is in a subtle way, someone like me will not know what is true or not but since this guy is an athlete or hangs out with them etc, maybe he knows what he is talking about, so the sports issue becomes a bit confusing to me, who is already kind of dumbed down from understanding the specifics, sure I could just regurgitate shit that smart people say and have the aesthetic of repeating what smart people say but I will be honest and fully admit, I don’t get how some of this shit works and I could not explain it, that is why I am glad there are some people who work as hosts on TYT have left because this one person Bennie did a video about his interactions with Cenk behind the scenes on how they are doubling down even in private and telling her that she lives in a bubble, no it seems like you guys live in a bubble because you want to fucking grift for the right wing audience hence why Ana is playing the helpless white woman who is being attacked by people who have been calmly explaining why she is wrong and she doesn’t seem to give a shit about being propped up by right wing accounts who are probably the ones help funding this new pivot which they are doing horribly. Even flat out defending Rittenhouse, I know we are supposed to act like we are judging these situations how they play out, but if you follow my train of thought, it will be like the far right wing are initiating people into their cliques and now the common thread is to have situations like Rittenhouse and then judge it like this was just some regular situation playing out and since people on the left will not get conspiratorial and maybe see the overall thing that is happening is that they will keep creating situations where it is supposed to be a nuanced debate which never really has nuance, all it has is people finding a way to justify why this issue has pushed people to the right. Ana is scared to talk to people outside her fucking race, but she is comfortable defending far right dipshits, sucking up showbiz people because she somehow thinks she is an interesting personality and the only people who support you is not because your fucking amazing personality, they are supporting you because you are becoming a fucking Nazi. She will believe the intention of “regular MAGA” people so she can pretend she is being fair while being unfair to people on the fucking left, they will get mad at at trans activists for fighting their fight, while they are doing stories playing devil’s advocate for fascist supporters who they want to give softball interviews to. And again they will double down, but I wish people on the “left” will stop treating these people with kids gloves, but I don’t know, maybe some of you will also start leaning more to the right on a fucking issue. I don’t know about the hormone treatment or what puberty blockers situation because people like this will suddenly do intellectualized propaganda about their dangers which can sound convincing to dumbed down people like me, and trust me there are others who consume shit who are dumbed down and will think one issue that someone talks about makes them credible but then they will take advantage of that shit, and spread more disinformation while making their entire personalities how they are more fair than MSM, that is all these alt media people do is cover MSM until they agree with their sentiment and then suddenly MSM is credible. 

I figure I should take a paragraph breather, again I am all over the map but I have to get shit off my chest and when you have so much in your fucking head, you can go off on tangents and trying to cram in points you jotted down. I could’ve left this a journal entry where only the people monitoring me will see it and secretly sell the information to people I talk about in their underground networks so people can then target me and I wouldn’t know who, because that is what paid online mercenaries do especially if you are angering powerful people and you don’t want to regress because everyone eventually becomes the republican they hate as times moves on and how propaganda sophisticates itself. But from my view we are seeing this world become more of a sports entertainment field, when we are talking about a politician and the president of the Teamsters etc doing an MMA fight, thing is it sounds like a fucking joke but that is probably the direction we are going with the vitriol at these hearings etc, they have been planting those seeds for a while since it happens in other countries and since the US is the WWE of countries, they normally let other territories do it first before they bring it to their home. I could keep getting excited about them finally getting Trump and it would be cool if someone powerful got some kind of consequences, they make it look that way but it feels like they know nothing will happen to him, it makes no sense how he has the freedom to go out and do rallies and still run for president while he has committed the crimes he did and you will bring up Hunter Biden etc, and even though there is some overall corruption going on with bribes etc, like that could be true, the only way to make this marketable is making him a fucking sports entertainer where he probably did all the stuff he is doing for the purpose of it being out there, suddenly you have all these clips at your disposal, it is like we are being given the fucking news by people who want to be entertainers and they want to book it like their favorite pretentious prestige television show. Everytime you tell us you got powerful people like Trump in the clutch, you will find out that things will work out in his favor, and it feels like this is about making more money for this process and all storylines knowing he won’t do time at all, and it makes his base think he is the one who walked away and beat the system, if they didn’t want him beating the system, they would’ve stopped him from even running in the fucking first place, they wouldn’t have covered his campaign and make bank off that, while pretending they oppose him. But we are supposed to think these dumbed down villains are not smart whatsoever, because people want the comfort of calling out powerful people but doing it the same way people call out Vince McMahon, completely dumb down so it takes the threat off him, you are helping facilitate this evil shit as well. Basically anything that is viral is designed to help the right wing, like the Obamas could put out a good message in showing solidarity with the affirmative action thing even if they are elitists etc, but then people then assume that anyone who has that message must be like the Obamas partying in Greece on some yacht like it isn’t designed for that purpose, people think they actually caught these people doing something hypocritical and not because it is supposed to be out there since our entire realities are a fucking sports entertainment show. It is amazing how “smart” and “free thinker” people are so fucking dumb, they will automatically assume that FBI agents who got promotions for kneeling at BLM rallies or some shit are only corrupt because of that, like even if the FBI is corrupt and I believe it is, you don’t think the kneeling was done as a photo op but maybe they want you to think their “loyalty” to BLM is the reason they got promoted. It also makes people who want to oppose the far right wing shit now have to kind of defend the FBI. I think there are many factions within institutions but I also think a lot of the feds support the far right win shit but the right has managed to make it look for their base that the FBI is against them completely and they are trying to go after Trump when this guy is walking around Willy Nilly doing his usual spiel and amplifying his base to dangerous fucking levels, I know because it is the Obamas we are not supposed to give a shit that another powerful person had his address posted, and I do believe it represents that these people have people on their payroll to go do this, now it was thwarted and sometimes I worry that if the right gets their traction they will think they planned it so it looks like Trump did in kayfabe but even if that was planned out etc, it feels like it represents what the right is capable of and that is directing their Arkham Asylum weirdos to be sacrificial lambs even if they have to get caught, you know how new right wing grifters will use “If they do this to Trump they can take away your free speech too” but they never worry when Trump can dox someone to his millions of followers on his social media platform, like fine you don’t care about Obama, fine but you aren’t alarmed at the tactic that could literally be used to target regular people if they don’t get in line? Sometimes it feels like people who are secretly on that side will sports entertain a feud with Trump and MAGA people so you are left blindly defending guys like Bill Gates or Fauci, like they could say or do some good shit, but then when you have shadiness about Gates being used against him since he is a powerful dude, people then weaponize it so they can overall generalize people on the left who are defending him because he seems to oppose the MAGA crowd, but I feel it is a way to defend people and then be shocked they are actually on the MAGA side, a lot of people are gonna be revealed as being secret MAGA people. Like as much as I love what Michael Imperioli did with denouncing people who are bigots from watching his work, when you put out a boastful message like that, it always feels like it is supposed to be insult to injury when you find out these people are really on the right wing side and they are just biding their time, especially if the people who are right wing are pushing back, they will then point out the hypocrisies of that person since it comes off like “TYPICAL HOLLYWOOD LIBTARD BEING SENSITIVE” because they people who will oppose that kind of message, once they get condemned as a whole for some shit, they think they are even more in the right because they are being attacked by a typical Hollywood guy. Even Eminem had to capitulate a little bit when he made that declaration of a line in the sand of supporting his music or supporting Trump and he kind of dialed it back on the next album. I know I am not making much sense, but at least I am not buying into this fake in fighting with MAGA type of people while it serves to give them free promo and actually helping their cause because we will continue to levitate shit by the comedic nature of it. But they are definitely using celebs as part of the overall discourse because I don’t believe they play by regular rules and shit playing out for social media and “real life” world feels like a way for people to be invested into a storyline where the goal is to manufacture consent for an overall homophobic, racist, misogynistic, transphobic attitude, that is why you will see an influx of men in the celeb world who are cogs and being used for storyline purposes to be the face of being wrongfully accused for shit so it then helps the abusers in the system prosper even more because they will use celeb shit as the be all end all that represents for situations like this since they play it out in a regular fucking way.  But that is why they will keep promoting stories about someone who raped someone and make the issue about how they want better treatment in prison for being trans and a lot of dumbed down people are not gonna give a shit about someone being trans, they will look at the horrible crime committed and think anyone who thinks this person should be able to get treatment is the main focus of this and the left doesn’t care if they murder or rape people so you are already using these sensationalist examples to help manufacture consent to generalize all communities, which then I could retort that then if Trump or other MAGA people committed horrible crimes, why should I be concerned with the freedom of speech issue or censorship when it comes to people who already did horrible shit. Like there are countless white supremacists who serve in politics and they have done horrible shit or aligned with people who do horrible shit and yet they make excuses for why we need to hear from these people over and over again yet you will fear monger about crime, which is probably funded for the sole purpose to make it seem like there is favorable treatment to people, like whenever they do a story of someone who is black doing a violent crime but then they didn’t do time or let out because they claimed systemic racism is the reason why they were allowed to not do time, they will promote some shit like that, and I believe these people might not align with any left politics and they are funded to commit crimes and then be let out but if you make it look like they are being let out for the fear of police being called racist or some shit, it makes regular people think that calling out racism is a bad thing. This is why I know we have to pretend there is no conspiracy but if there is a conspiracy to help facilitate people into moving more right wing maybe people on the left should entertain going more conspiratorial, especially when you can disarm the right wing shit, because they will use their examples of agendas within the system, because no matter your delegation in the system, people from all backgrounds and identities will end up being problematic and not because of what their race, sexuality, religion, political ideology etc, but because the system is a corrupt cesspool and if you want to be in the system, you will have to get dirty at some point, and they will use it to discredit you if you try to stand up for the general community who have nothing to do with the corrupt system. This is why I don’t 100 percent buy a celebrity’s endorsement, because it will be used if those people end up corrupt or problematic and they will then use that person as a main reason why this so and so group is actually a problem. Look at what they did with Jussie Smolliet, they used in my opinion an obvious botched attempt to discredit and make it harder for members of the LGBTQ community to rase awareness of hate crimes committed against them, this Amber/Depp situation is being propped up by misogynists who are probably guilty of some abuse to act like that all abuse cases are like this one, they make it relate to regular people which is what the public figures main roles are, this is just my opinion. I am not saying I am 100 percent right, but they have been using entertainment to manufacture consent for the last 30 plus years. Now everyone is copying their favorite entertainment and making that their real life character. Anyways I am gonna be done with this blog. I know it probably didn’t come off well, and it was remixed with other shit going on but when I wait to write these blogs and I have a bunch of shit I compiled, I feel I have to cross shit off in order but no one is looking for the writings of a fat mentally ill man who still lives in his parents basement, so if you want to discredit me, you can do it with that, and you will convince people, but here is the thing that pisses off a lot of you corrupt shit heads, even if my aesthetic is not the most appealing, I know at the end of the day I am not a fucking social climber who is trying to hang out with my favorite celebs and do a right wing grift so I can stay relevant and even if your aesthetic is good and you have a social life, it is not making you any happier and you know deep down it is not making you any fucking happier even if you surgically have a smile planted on your fucking faces. You know the money is useless because you will have to spend it to to make other people richer and guess what when you sell your soul like that, you know the people who are propping you up don’t care about your talent, they care about you being another status quo dip shit who is helping the world move into more of a Nazi place and I hope you never get a moment of peace mentally. Eventually when you are alone, you will have to be alone with those thoughts and trust me it isn’t fun being alone with those thoughts, it becomes a scary thing. At least I can be alone with my thoughts

[hardygalwrites]

FanFiction.Net Link

(image source)

Anime/Manga: Hetalia

Characters: England and 2P!England

Synopsis: "We are not just ourselves, you know. We're our people as well. I may be some other aspect of the people, but I am the people all the same."

Assaulted and made a prisoner in his own home, England is forced to endure the hospitality of an unexpected and very unwelcome visitor, who puts England's self-deprecating attitude into a whole different perspective.

Note: Originally published on FFN sometime in 2016, deleted, then edited and republished early 2018. TW for force-feeding

—

The powerful voices of Bostridge and Drake, singing their cover of Franz Schubert's Die Forelle, echoed about the kitchen as the strawberry tarts were pulled from the oven. He inhaled the sweet-scented smoke and sighed pleasurably. But for the sounds of frustrated exertion that could be heard above the tenors of Bostridge and Drake, it was all near perfect. He frowned and quickly went on with finishing up the tarts.

Soon, he had the sugary little pastries displayed on a fine china plate, which he carried into the dining room. All the while, his feet danced in time with Schubert's lied - around the overturned table, over the shattered vase, between the splintered halves of the broken chair. He came to a stop at the dining table and set the tarts in front of his dining companion, just as the song ended.

There was no other sound now, besides the light static of the record player, though that too was gone once he removed the needle from the record. He smiled down at his companion. Then, he noticed the blood making slick the cords around his companion's wrists.

"Well, goodness," he exclaimed. "What did you do to yourself?"

His companion was silent, knuckles white about the arms of his chair, posture stiff, countenance stony, overall just looking plain inhospitable.

He sighed, tutting disappointedly. "You can't go hurting yourself like that, all right?"

He pinched his companion's stiff cheek, drawing a wince, and went to sit across from him. "After all, I don't want all my hard work to go to waste. It's been a fair while since I cooked a full on dinner for someone."

His companion simply glared, teeth bared in a distasteful snarl, which he easily countered with a benign grin. This persisted for several seconds.

"...Not very talkative, are y–?"

"Damn it, what the bloody hell do you want!?"

"And no wonder!" he gasped. "Did you kiss mum with that mouth?"

His companion strained to release himself from the chair, only inflicting more damage to his wrists. "You broke into my house, ransacked my drawing room, and–!"

"Broke into your house?" he exclaimed, offended. "My dear Iggy– Ah, do you mind if I call you Iggy? It's something that the boys sometimes call me. I know it's meant to be demeaning, but I can't help but find it adorable. Do your boys give you any affectionate nicknames?"

Bad-tempered silence was the only reply.

He nodded understandingly. "Ah, I see. Touchy subject."

"Oh, shut up," the other muttered. He tilted his head back, sighing. "Why are you here?"

"Well, I heard about you - don't ask me how - and I thought, well, why not go visit?" He clasped his hands. "I wanted to see how alike we are. And judging by the state of your kitchen, I imagine we are not quite so alike as I'd hoped. A tart?"

His companion curled his lip. "Untie my hands first."

"Oh, no, no, no, if I do that you'll jump at me! Here..." He plucked a beautifully crafted tart from the plate. "Open wide!"

The seated individual cringed, leaning back as far as his bonds would allow. "Like hell I'm eating from your hands!"

"Now, that's rude. I do wash them before and after I cook; what uncivilized brute doesn't? Really though, I insist." He poked the tart at the seam of his companion's tightly sealed lips. "Come on, open up! You know, my little boys loved it when I played the 'eat your food' game, especially when they were being disagreeable."

"And how does that go?" the other growled, only speaking when the tart was lifted away.

He lifted a finger, smiling brightly. "Oh! How about a demonstration."

Holding up the tart again, he leaned in close to his companion. "So I'd do this, and I'd say something to the effect of, 'Sweetheart, you need to eat your food.' And if they still said no..."

He gave his companion an expectant look, prodding him with the tart. A shake of the head was all he received, and he smiled.

"Well, if they still said no, then I'd do this."

Quick as lightning, he lashed out with his free hand, gripping his companion's jaw in a vice. A tight squeeze forced his companion's lips open, and he popped the tart between them with a happy giggle and manually aided his reluctant guest into chewing the treat.

As soon as said treat was gone, his companion jerked out of his grip, cursing furiously. "You bloody git! You son of a hell damned wanker!"

He gasped, affronted. "Goodness me, you really do need to work on that language of yours!"

His companion glared at him dangerously, slowly rotating his jaw.

"Oh, don't give me that look. Such language was hardly called for, and I know for a fact that my food can't be that bad. Scone?"

"You're mad." His companion released an odd sound that was something akin to a laugh. "Yes, that's it. You're stark raving mad."

He returned the laugh, choosing a scone from one of the plates. "Mad, yes. An absolute freak. One might even say a punk. I acknowledge this with full acceptance."

He picked up a knife and pressed it against his chest, as though making a vow. "As our dear gentleman, Mr. Carroll, once so aptly wrote, 'We're all mad here.'"

Laughing again, he cut the scone in half and lathered one half with jam. "Or at least, that's the case where I come from. Everyone there is depressed, sociopathic, and just plain mad. You ought to visit sometime."

"I ought not."

"Ought too! But let's not argue. Here, try the scone."

Despite his offer, those lips were once again sealed.

"Come now dearest, you don't want to play the 'eat your food' game again, do you?"

His companion scowled, but opened his mouth, and he happily pushed the scone between his companion's lips lips. Looking him straight in the eye, his companion bit down on the scone and shut his mouth. He waited expectantly, but his companion's jaw remained otherwise unmoving.

He frowned. "Go on! Chew it! ...If you don't chew it I'll have to make you."

He waved the jam knife in front of his companion's face, only to pull back when his companion lunged at him like a mad-eyed Jack-in-the-Box. The yelp that had escaped him quickly turned into laughter as his companion was halted by his bonds.

Clapping his hands, he exclaimed, "Oh, that was naughty of you. Very sly! Ah, but really, I would finish that scone if I were you."

His companion groaned frustratedly.

Two quick chews and a swallow later, he nodded approvingly. "Good lad. You really ought to eat a little more slowly though. Eating fast is so American, and it does terrible things to the digestive system."

"Tell me," his companion growled, continuing to work at his bonds. "When your store of cyanide and strawberry preserves runs dry, do you feed off of the humiliation you inflict on others?"

He smiled, buttering up the second half of the scone. "It's funny, my loving big brother asked me the exact same thing..."

"And what did you say?"

"'Brother dear, I never humiliate others,'" he quoted sincerely. "'They're humiliated, but only because they perceived it that way.'"

He took a bite out of the buttered scone and shrugged. "If you find it humiliating, that's your problem. Tea? Or perhaps you want to finish your scone..."

The other laughed humorlessly. "Oh, a lovely principle you've got there."

"Tea it is, then."

"I'm sure that your friends agree wholeheartedly with that little philosophy. That is if you even have any friends."

He sent his companion a reproving look as he prepared a cuppa. "No need to be sarcastic, Iggy dear. I do have friends, thank you very much, though at this point I am unsure whether or not I can say the same for you."

"I do have... some friends." His companion squirmed, something besides frustration and anger crossing his facial features.

He smiled sympathetically, returning to the preparation of the tea. "Ah, I've been there, mate. There was a time when not a person in the world wanted to be my friend. Then they discovered my wicked cooking skills, and the fact that I am a stubborn little man who won't take no for an answer."

He turned back to his guest, teacup and saucer in hand.

Instantly, his companion's face darkened, as did his voice. "You force-fed me scones and tarts, but I swear that if you try to force-feed me tea I will give you the soundest thrashing you'll have ever received in your life."

"Tough words coming from a man with jam on his mouth."

His companion started, evidently having been unaware of the strawberry jam staining his upper lip, and he laughed.

"Oh, you are adorable," he sighed, managing to wipe away the offending gob of preserve in spite of his companion's evasive flinch. "If you're really so adverse to our veritable lifeblood, I'll set it aside for later. Remember though, it's best served hot."

He set the cup and saucer aside, within reaching distance of his companion, who hissed, "Well, maybe if you bloody untied me, I could enjoy it to my leisure."

"Well, maybe if you weren't such a foul-mouthed little troublemaker, I would consider doing so," he retorted cheerfully. "Oh come now, dearest, enough with the glaring. You have such a handsome face if I do say so myself, and you shouldn't mar it with that drab expression."

He pinched his companion's cheek. "You ought to smile more!"

His companion pulled away with a snarl. "Stop telling me what I ought and ought not to do! I don't care to have anyone telling me how to live my life, least of all you!"

"I'm sorry, I hope you'll forgive my playing shrink, but maybe that's why you're so lonely. You rely solely on self-deprecation and slow-learned lessons, as opposed to outside criticism and well-meant advice."

"You don't know a damn thing about me."

"Don't I, now?" He raised an eyebrow. "I am you, after all. We've both gone through the same history, made same choices, suffered the same consequences..."

"I am nothing like you," the other hissed, glaring.

He succeeded in startling his companion by clasping his face and examining it closely. "Hm, unkempt hair, handsome facial structure, eyes not too far from the blue spectrum, subjectively svelte, impeccable fashion sense - though I can see that you prefer stark green over something a little softer - and of course those uncontrollable brows... I'm sorry, but what was your point?"

"Let go of me," his companion snapped, tearing his face away. "The resemblance is superficial at best."

"On the contrary, I daresay that if we had a test, we'd find that we share the same DNA!"

"Our DNA is that of the people, you idiot; of course it'd be the same."

"That's just my point!" he exclaimed, spreading his hands. "We are not just ourselves, you know. We're our people as well. I may be some other aspect of the people, but I am the people all the same."

"Oh, is there some aspect of the English people often associated with pastry-obsessed psychopaths who insist on overbearing hospitality that I am unaware of?"

"Again with the sarcasm. My dear Iggy," he said, regarding his companion with pity, as one would regard a man who was too slow to fully participate in the world around him. "You would be surprised at what aspects are so prominent within our lovely culture, and yet so unclear to ourselves.

"Now..." He clasped his hands. "How about a teacake?"

"What do you mean by that?" the other demanded.

He grinned obligingly. Picking up a small teacake, he held it out in front of his companion.

"You see this? Foreigners associate this notoriously delicious baked good with our country. It is what the tourists come here for. It is the epitome of traditional English baking. And I baked it," he declared proudly, placing a hand on his chest. "Now, based on your own argument of us having nothing in common, and judging by the frankly miserable remains found in your kitchen, what do you think that means for you?"

His companion maintained a sullen silence, and he continued. "You are simply another aspect of our people that I had never quite considered having existed until now. An unfortunate aspect, but an aspect nonetheless. ...And on that note, open wide!"

His companion deliberately turned his face away.

He sighed. "Really dearest, we aren't honestly going to do this again, are we? Come on, open up."

His companion leaned away still further.

"You're not sulking now, are you? That's very childish of you, darling. ...Don't look at me like that, you know it's true." He sighed again. "I'm giving you one more chance to accept this graciously, Iggy, else I'll have to let our little game commence. Open wide now."

His companion glared defiantly.

The following struggle was an interesting one, and he found himself being quite impressed with his companion; for someone tied hand a foot to a chair, he was a jolly good fighter.

"Good gracious, you are a troublemaker," he exclaimed, finally succeeding in getting a firm grip on his companion's face. "It's only a teacake, no need to make a kerfuffle over it."

The other continued to struggle, and he was starting to feel rather exasperated. "Oh, honestly, my boys never put up this much of a fuss. Not even America was this troublesome!"

"Really?" his companion hissed between clenched teeth. "Was he always defiant of you?"

"Has been since his discovery and continues to be so. Now open..."

"Funny, because my boys always loved my cooking. They enjoyed my company."

It was as though an electric charge had gone through him. He stood paralyzed, teacake held limply in his hand and his grip slackening.

His companion took the chance to pull away from the loosening grip, a triumphant glint appearing in his green eyes as he said, "So what exactly does that say about you, Iggy?"

His own eyes narrowed, and he managed to regain a sharp grip on the other's face, pulling him close. The teacake lay forgotten on the carpeted floor as he spoke, voice quiet but filled with malice.

"Oh, that is clever of you. Flaunting your past as though it's something special, something better, that's just jolly. And yet the joke is still on you, dearest," he sang, smile returning. "We still end up in the same boat. And we both know that our boys left it a long time ago."

Smack.

His vision went white and he staggered back. A painful throbbing emitted from his forehead and went on to take over the rest of his head. His companion lay on the floor, the chair having become unbalanced and tipping over backwards. The two groaned in tandem with each other.

As he pressed a hand to his forehead, trying to stem the pain, something began to build up in his throat, slow but powerful. Before he could identify what it was, it burst forth from his mouth in the form of hysterical laughter. He laughed for what seemed like hours, when in reality it may have only been seconds. By the time he was finished, the pain had died down and his whole body felt exhausted.

He wiped a tear away from his eye, giggling tiredly. "I feel like I may have overstayed my welcome."

His companion still lay on the floor, staring up at him with a strange look on his face. "You're one mad bastard."

"Yes, yes I know." He sighed, straightening his bowtie and cuffs. "Takes one to know one, doesn't it?"

With a wink and a bright smile, he turned away.

"Hey, you can't just leave me here!"

"Can't I, now?"

"I'm a seasoned British soldier! I've escaped from concentration camps! It's only a matter of time before I get out of this!"

"That's what I'm counting on," he said cheerfully. "Sorry I won't be able to see your great escape, but I do have to run. Don't worry though, I'll leave Schubert to keep you company."

Already humming a few bars of Die Forelle, he put the needle on the record. The powerful voices of Bostridge and Drake soon rang throughout the house once again. But for the broken furniture and shattered objects strewn about, and the sounds of frustrated exertion and furious cursing rising above the powerful tenors, everything seemed exceptionally ordinary.

Smiling benignly, steps dancing in time with the lied, he left the room and closed the door behind him.

[lamzillasreelthoughts]

Royal Rumble 2012 Review

After the bloated version of the event in 2011, WWE decided to go back to basics for the 2012 Royal Rumble. While this change was welcomed by many fans, the big story leading into the show was the return of Chris Jericho. After CM Punk started calling himself “The Best In The World,” we all knew Y2J was going to come knocking sooner or later. After weeks of a brilliant heel turn that consisted of nothing but silence from Jericho, the final Raw before the Rumble had him issuing an ominous prediction: “It will be the end of the world as you know it.” Would Jericho’s return include the final accolade he had left to accomplish? Or, would one of the 29 other entrants have Jericho’s number? From St. Louis, Missouri, this is the Royal Rumble!

1. Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show vs. Mark Henry in a Steel Cage Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: 2012 was the year Daniel Bryan really got over with the fans, and it started here in this cage match. All three guys had been feuding since the middle of December, and this was the blow-off to the Show-Henry story. Despite opening the show, this was a pretty bland affair. Henry was severely injured coming in, so Bryan and Show do the brunt of the work load. While it has a quick pace, the match never develops and is basically a series of moves until the finish, which does a great job of getting Bryan over as a sneaky heel. Despite that, this was a Smackdown quality match that probably shouldn’t have been on this show.

2. The Bella Twins, Beth Phoenix, and Natayla vs. Alicia Fox, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, and Tamina Snuka: This was your typical “throw a bunch of divas out there to waste some time” match. Considering that this wasn’t announced before the show, that should give you an idea of the quality. While it was better than I expected, it is filled with the crap that the Divas did in every singe match prior to the women’s revolution. If you’ve seen one, then you can almost predict how this one will go. Although I will give credit to the match team colors.

3. Kane vs. John Cena: This was around the time that Kane had returned to wearing a mask, and suddenly decided to wax philosophical about Cena needing to “embrace the hate.” While this wasn’t as awful as it may seem on paper, these guys managed to get almost no heat in this match, despite the intense build to this contest. They really should have stuck a stipulation on this to spice it up. This was basically to keep Cena busy until his match with the Rock at Wrestlemania, and both guys do kind of phone this one in. The finish will be controversial to some, but seeing as how it advanced the story forward, it didn’t bother me as much. If only the booking didn’t get so damn terrible before Elimination Chamber. This match isn’t terrible, but it isn’t very memorable either.

4. Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre: You know it’s a rough show when you have two filler matches added the day of the show. Thankfully, this is just a squash match to get Clay over that doesn’t even last two minutes. I’m not sure why WWE pushed the Funkasaurus gimmick so hard, nobody could ride that to a main event push. Short, sweet, and to the point like it needed to be.

5. CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler for the WWE Championship: Finally, we get to something good. Both guys would have an amazing year, but this match was a bit below what I expected out of them. The biggest issue is that the second half of the match is all about Punk’s feud with Johnny Ace, where Ziggler basically becomes a prop for Punk to beat up. The first half is good, and set the pace for a better finish than what we got. While it may seem like I’m being negative, this was the clear highlight of the night. It’s just a shame that the second half can’t deliver on the promise of the first half.

6. The 2012 Royal Rumble: This Rumble seems to be very divisive to fans. Some people enjoy this, and other people hate this match. I’m somewhere in the middle. While it has more fun than the next three Rumbles that came after it, the spots are super spaced out, and parts of the match seem to drag. The biggest issue with the match is the finish. Jericho seemed like the obvious choice to win, but in an attempt to be unpredictable, Sheamus gets the surprise win. I can see why people have a problem with this, as it feels forced and unearned instead of a genuine shock moment. Despite that, I still had some fun with this Rumble, and would easily say it is one of the better ones from the last decade. 

This show was very similar to the 2006 edition, in that none of the matches really delivered. The major difference here was that the pacing was well done, so the show is an easy watch. Despite having six matches, only the last two really stand out. While there isn’t anything terrible on the show, it does feel like it’s missing a really big moment. If you want to see it, I’m sure you won’t be disappointed, but I can’t see myself watching this one again anytime soon.         

[forever-more-never-again]

We are Here

WARNING: TRIGGERING CONTENT! Please do not read if this will trigger you! I wrote this in an hour when I was feeling down and it is very descriptive!

Mentions Depression, Alcoholism, Pill Abuse, Panic Attack, Feelings of self-doubt, Themes of Suicide, Descriptions of Self-harm 

Pairing: None! Reader X Cast of the Avengers

Word Count: 2258

a/n: WE ARE HERE! There are people who you can talk to, who are willing to help you and be a light in the darkness. Please don’t ever feel scared to reach out and get help.

Masterlist

Sometimes gravity felt heavier. Today was one of those times. I struggled to get out of bed. The weight of the comforter like ten pounds of bricks. I knew I needed to get up, I needed to shower and get dressed.

After all, there was a convention today. Plus, the fact that I hadn’t gotten out of bed in a week.

But no matter how much I worked myself up in my head to get up, I couldn’t muster the physical strength or energy.

This wasn’t new to me. It had been occuring frequently these past months. I knew I should seek out help. I should talk to someone, my friends, my family on set. But I felt weak. I was supposed to be a superhero for fucks sake.

Phoenix, the badass ex-Hydra experiment who had inky black six foot wings. Who never took any crap from anyone. Who played the counterpart of the Winter Soldier.

But that was all props and gimmicks. The truth of the matter was that I was [Y/n]. Small town girl that made it big by accident.

I heard my phone buzzing on the nightstand and groaned as I reached and picked it up. Scarlett was calling. Probably to see what kind of coffee I wanted before she picked me up. I hung up the phone and texted her that I wasn’t feeling good, that I was not going to the convention.

She asked if I needed anything and I made sure to reassure her so that she wouldn’t stop at my house. I didn’t need her to see me like this. Pathetic.

The day went by slowly. I spent my time sleeping or staring up at my white ceiling. Just lost in my thoughts.

Around nine at night, I crawled out of bed and made my way into the bathroom. I gripped the edge of my sink, my body feeling like lead. Glancing in the mirror, I scared myself. It wasn’t me looking back at myself. It was some monster.

Gaunt cheekbones, red puffy eyes, knotted hair and dull color. My clothes hung off my shoulders. Sighing, I leaned over the sink closing my eyes.

It was getting worse, and I knew it. It had started as just nerves and anxiety. As the last Avenger film wrapped up and everyone went home. I went back to my apartment and found I had nothing to do and no one to talk to.

The darkness had slipped in unnoticed. By the time I knew something was wrong, it was to late. I was too weak to ask for help. For someone to say something, to notice that I was not okay.

It started with one bottle of whiskey, but that quickly turned into five. The sleeping pills began to double in dosages and the razors in my shower were no longer gliding along my legs.

The cloud hung overhead every day, and every night I cried myself to sleep before nodding off to the tune of pills and alcohol.

It was a disease, and I was infected. I was broken, scattered in the wind.

The next morning, I woke up again to my phone ringing. I was still a little buzzed and dazed from the cocktail I had last night that I actually picked up without checking the ID.

“Hello?” My voice came out raspy. I coughed a little to clear it as I pulled myself up sitting. The room spun around as I tried to open my eyes and adjust to the light filtering through my curtains.

“Hey Doll, we missed you at the convention yesterday, Scar said you weren’t feeling to hot.”

Sebastian. I groaned, rubbing my forehead.

“Yeah, Seb. Sorry. I think I’m still sick and I don’t want to get anyone infected, I won’t be coming again today. Could you tell the producers and give my apologies to the fans?”

Sebastian’s throaty laugh normally would have made me laugh as well, it was just so warming, but I just wanted to go back to sleep. “Bye Seb.”

“Wait, wait [Y/n]. I actually don’t have a set today, so I thought I would stop by with some of your favorite food from that restaurant down the street.”

That sobered me right up. Glancing frantically around, I saw my room in great detail. It was a mess of clothes, and empty bottles. The blades from last night were still sitting on the sink’s edge, blood dried and my wrists were bandaged.

“No that’s fine Sebastian. Really. I don’t want to get you sick.” I knew my voice was coming out panicked, but I couldn’t stop the emotion from leaking into my words.

“[Y/n], is everything alright?” His voice came slow and steady, but questioning.

“Yes it is, please, just go enjoy your day. I’m just going to be sleeping anyways.” I worked to make my voice calm and level.

“Well, it’s too late cause I’m outside your door, I’m letting myself in.”

At that the phone hung up on me. I threw it against the wall. And then my nightmare became reality. Sebastian walked in with a smile on that stupid beautiful face of his before sliding into a frown.

He set the bag in his hands on the floor by the door as he walked further into my bedroom.

“[Y/n]? What’s all this?” He kicked an empty whiskey bottle. It rolled a ways before stopping by a pile of dirty clothes.

Tears filled my eyes as he looked at me, concern and worry evident in his hazel eyes. “I’m...I’m so sorry.”

At that he made his way to my bed and pulled me tight against him. “Sorry? For what Doll?”

I tried to wipe my eyes, but the tears keep rolling, my face was probably hideous, “I thought I was strong, but I’m pathetic. I’m so weak...I...I..”

I stuttered off as Sebastian raised a bandage wrapped wrist up to his eyes. “[Y/n]..” My name a whisper on his lips as he gently held my arm.

He glanced towards my open bathroom door before meeting my gaze again, “[Y/n]...Did you do this to yourself?”

I could only nod, my throat closing up as I tried to contain the tidal wave inside me.

He pulled me tightly in a hug, “I’m so sorry [Y/n], that you went through this alone. How long has this been going on?”

“A couple months…”

His hand slowly ran through my hair as I calmed down, “Shhh, it’s going to be okay, you’re so strong [Y/n]. So strong for going through this all alone. But you’re not alone anymore. We are here for you. All of us, your family.”

I fell asleep against his chest, so tired from everything.

The next time I woke up, I was alone again. Sighing, I crawled out of bed, hoping it was all a pill induced dream. I dug through my drawers for my emergency sleeping pills, but my hands couldn’t find it. Pulling the drawer completely out of my dresser, I threw my clothes out as I panicked. It couldn’t be gone, I needed it.

I stood up and twirled around. My room was clean. When was the last time my room was clean? No empty bottles, no strange stains or smells. No clothes except for those that I threw out of the drawer.

I ran into the bathroom. My blades were gone. The bathroom spotless.

My chest was too tight. I was suffocating. I stumbled back into my bedroom, clutching my chest, gasping. Where was everything?

“[Y/n], You up?” My bedroom door opened and I became engulfed in strong arms. “Hey, I got you. It’s okay. Breath with me.”

I tried to focus on the exaggerated breaths Sebastian was taking as he rocked me on the floor in his arms.

My heart was beating too fast, i couldn’t get air. My vision was growing black and spotty, “help me! I can’t breath!” I wheezed out, clawing at his sleeve, trying to look up at his face. I was terrified.

“You can. Just follow me. In the mouth, out the nose. Breath in..” I gulped in air, “Breath out, “I tried to slow as it came out in shallow spurts.

“Good, again.”

\ I don’t know how long I stayed on the floor in Seb’s arms. But eventually I was okay enough to pull away.

“Thanks Sebastian. I thought you left.” I couldn’t look at him. It was all too humiliating. First last night, and now this.

He guided me up, walking into my living room with me, “I stayed. I meant what I said last night. You’re not alone anymore. We’re here for you.”

I raised an eyebrow in question at his tone before I noticed that there were too many people in my apartment.

“[Y/n]!” The first person to engulf me in a hug was Scarlett. She hung onto me. Her sweet, familiar voice whispered into my ear, “You’re so strong [Y/n]. I love you.”

Tears once again pooled in my eyes, but they were happy tears as person after person came up to hug me and whisper words of encouragement and affection.

Everyone was here. Robert, Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Tom Holland, Tom Hiddleston, Benedict, Elizabeth, Jeremy, Mark, and Anthony Mackie.

“You guys, you’re missing the convention.” I sniffled, wiping my nose on my sleeve. Smiling as I was squished between Chris Evans and Sebastian standing on either side of me.

Robert spoke, his charismatic character shining through as he waved a hand, “We explained that we had a family situation. The fans will be okay. We wanted to make sure you were okay. When Seb called us and told us everything..”

He got cut off with a stern look from Elizabeth and Scarlet when they noticed my head lowered in shame.

Chris Evans raised my chin with his hand, his blue eyes showing no condemnation or shame or pity in them, “Hey, there is nothing to be ashamed of. We are all here to help you get better. With the drinking, the pills, the self-harm and the depression. All of it, we are your family [Y/n]. You’re stuck with us, and us with you, forever.” He finished with a warm smile, his arm tugging you closer to him.

“What do you...How did you...I’m not…” I stumbled on my words, quilt coursing through my body. Chris Evans held my gaze, and I stopped. Swallowing thickly, I just nodded.

I glanced around at all the faces looking at you. They all smiled softly and nodded. Not a drop of pity or shame from any of them. Finally looking back up at Sebastian.

He ruffled my hair, “Like I said, You’re not alone, We’re here for you.”

~~~~

I laughed as I sat on the couch, smiling at Ellen as she spoke to Chris Evans about his mustache for Lobby Hero. It had been a long uphill battle Since that day in my apartment. Long months in rehab to get over my alcoholism and pill dependence. A lot of meetings with a therapist who helped me a ton.

And of course, looking across the couch, as Chris Evans did his classic left boob grab laughing out loud, I smiled, My family.

“And of course, [Y/n], you have a new organization that you started. Care to go into that a little bit?” Ellen asked, turning her charm onto me.

I chuckled, straightening non existent wrinkles out of my shirt. My fellow Castmates all gave me an encouraging whoop. I smiled into the Camera before turning to Ellen.

“Well, as many know by now, I went through a rough patch about a year ago. I am so lucky that I have the family that I do,” I turned and smiled at everyone, reaching out and squeezing Sebastian’s hand since he was next to me, before turning back to Ellen, “They helped me in what was the darkest time in my life. I got the help I needed and the support to get back to [Y/n], myself. Not many people out there can say the same so I wanted to start an organization to help those in similar situations.”

Ellen interrupted real quick, turning slightly in her seat as she pointed to the giant screen behind her. The logo for my organization popped up along with the shirt design, “And all profits go to suicide relief efforts, correct?” She asked.

I nodded, “The ‘We are here’ foundation sends profits to suicide relief funds, and we also reach out and help with communities and schools to talk about depression and addiction. I’ve been there,” I turn to face the Camera again, “But I got out and am living a better life. I want the same for anyone else who is out there struggling. Remember, ‘We are here’.”

Ellen cut to commercial and started talking to some of the other people on stage. I turned to Sebastian who wore the goofiest smile on his face, “What?” I asked, giggling and poking his stomach.

“I’m so damn proud of you [Y/n].”

I smiled back at him, pulling him in for a hug, “Couldn’t have done it without you, thank you.” I whispered fiercely. Pulling back to peck him on the cheek.

I was not healed, I was not made whole and perfect again, but I was no longer shattered. I was strong, reinforced by the love and support of those around me. Someone would always be there.

FOREVER Taglist:

@sxph-t @littlestfangirl @rainydaysrnevergrey @not-jk-rowling @sociallyawkwardcircus-freak-hi

Avengers taglist:

@jadepc

[acradaunt]

Saw one of those ask things around for Etrian Odyssey, and I felt like doing it, so. I think someone's supposed to ask you particular numbers first. That's dumb. I'm just gonna answer those that interest me. Which is pretty much all of them.

1. What is your Guild Name? -It's never been the same. Usually it's a compound word and/or related to the game's region. Skyquake was EOII, Riptide for the watery EOIII, Zephyr for the airship-oriented EOIV. It's Starlight in EOV, which was a really fitting coincidence.

2. Favorite class? -Chasers/Linkers/Chainers. Which, at the end of the day, are all the same thing. They're all sorts of nifty, but I think I like them the most when subpar attackers get a little something extra out of it, like a Medic with a Polar Rod or a Botanist with a Bow. The downside is you really gotta build around them, but I kinda like doing that, personally. Weirdly, I never liked Buccaneers. I also really like Runemasters. The Runes putting two contrasting functions into a single spell is an amazing idea. It saves so many Skill Points and makes them really versatile. Them also 'fixing' magic to not be painfully straightforward is worth big points, too. Shamans having 'take less damage from Fire/Ice/Volt, but also do Fire/Ice/Volt damage' was a huge black mark against them, and ultimately why I stuck with a Poison Botanist. Contrasting is cool, contradictory is not. Apart from the 10F boss, I can't think of an instance where that wouldn't be actively detrimental to you. No, I'm actually not sure if that Fire/Ice/Volt is bonus damage on top of normal damage or an affinity change. That would change everything, but I never assed myself to find out. I may be petty.

3. Favorite NPC? -Jenetta. Full stop. No contest. I guess Edie would be a diiiistant second place.

4. Favorite monster? -At this moment, gotta give it to the Sword Saurians (shame they weren't an actual race). I'm a huuuuge sucker for any enemy that makes you go 'hey, that's exactly one of our moves'. Them being an enemy chaser, well, it was pretty obvious I'd like 'em. Most commonly, this concept has shown up throughout the series on turtle/coral/crab monsters being wannabe Protectors / Hoplites / Fortresses.

5. Favorite FOE? -This probably needs more thought than I'm going to give it, but fresh off of EOV's caves, any of those three get points for puzzle design. The sound thing is a big step up from EOIV's moths only moving when there's combat. Once Atlus figured out what to do with them, the Pumpkin trio became great too. They were practically a third superboss in EOIV if you didn't handle them properly.

6. Favorite Boss? -EOV has had exceptionally good bosses so far, so this answer could certainly change, but I still gotta give it up to the Warped Saviour from EOIV. Unlike every other boss or FOE, which is one big, nasty healthbar, it changes between forms that favour multi-target attacks and single attacks. It's a fight that keeps you on your toes and adapting, but pretty much every class can find a way to contribute. Unlike almost every other superboss. Ur-Child at least gets props for one-shotting himself on Painless Counters, though. That's just hilarious.

7. Favorite Stratum? -Aethsetically, EOII's Auburn Thicket, hands down. Literally just autumn isn't much of anything, but I'm apparently a colossal sucker for that. It then probably loses all those points by being the biggest difficulty spike in the series. EOIII's Undersea Grotto and EOV's Jagged Reach get big points too. None of them have too much in the way of puzzles, though. They're also all second stratums. Weird. Hall of Darkness's final floor also deserves a huge shout-out for really seeing EOIV take the gloves off. That's probably the most synergy you'll ever see a collective group of monsters have. Having a mini-section for nearly every previous gimmick in the game is worth points, too.

8. Favorite game? -EOIII probably did the most to solidify the series, and EOIV is easily the one I'd recommend to new players, and I'm still going through EOV, but I think it's the winner here. Normally, I'm not one to go 'yay difficulty', but EOV really did nail the difficulty just right.

9. Favorite song? -EOIII's Porcelain Forest, without a doubt. EOIII's volcano deserves mention too, especially since nobody else seems to like it. I'll admit it sounds very Streets of Rage-y next to everything else.

10. Least favorite class? -The easy answer would be the classes that fundamentally don't work, like Beast and Yggdroid. But that's too easy. Probably Troubadour. They do one or two buffs, then are completely useless for the rest of a fight. At least later buff-boys like Sovereign and Dancer do it right.

12. Least favorite monster? -Any answer that isn't a Petaloid is wrong. Muskoids primarily, though. Party-wide petrification is borderline cheating. Yes, they need to be hit first for the range-increase, but make it an ambush and throw in a Hollow Magus, and, well, you can be wiped before having a single action. Stun Eryngii doing loads of damage on death is also really annoying. I'm sure EOV's final stratum will have new horrors to add to the list. ...After writing 13, I changed my answer. EOV's 1st floor doggos and EOIII's Great Lynxes being able to instantly kill anybody, even if they're blocking, have probably done plenty to turn people away from the series. They're stupidly unfair at that point, and why I'd sooner recommend EOIV over the others to a new player. At least with Baboons, it's at least sort of your fault for not being attentive enough.

13. Least favorite FOE? -Not a fan of a petrification goats, especially since you need to kill loads of them for Formaldehyde. On further thought, my answer's gotta be the Baboons from the very start of EOIV. I know more than one person who got to mining, got ambushed by not noticing that FOEs move when you mine, wiping, then promptly throwing their 3DS off a building.

14. Least favorite Boss? -In contrast to Warped Saviour, shitlord dragon is a bunch of crap. Lots of classes are nigh useless against him, and it's very much one of those 'know exactly how he works or you're screwed' fights. Weirdly, he's like a carbon-copy clone of the last sea boss from EOIII, and that wasn't half as annoying, despite having to put up with idiot NPC AIs for it.

15. Least favorite Stratum? -EOII's fifth stratum is an eyesore, even if the music's pretty good. Not a fan of the enemies, either.

16. Least favorite game? -The most honest answer would be EO2. Looking back, it's a really poorly balanced game. Like, REALLY poorly. I'm super-biased against the Untold series, because I don't feel it needs to exist, and Story mode feels six kinds of wrong for this series. Especially because I loathe every party choice in EO2U (well, Sovereign is okay, but otherwise). Ohwait, forgot EMD exists. Let's go with that.

17. Least favorite song? -Any of the more ambient ones, like the caves in EOIV and EOV, or the second stratum in EOIV. ...EOIV had really weak dungeon themes all around, thinking back. EOIII's second battle theme is pitiful compared its glorious first battle theme.

18. What is your favorite floor mechanic? (ie: warping, dead zones, etc.) -Looking back, these really didn't go anywhere until EOIV. EOIII had the gates in the shrine and EOII had sliding ice puzzles and damage tiles. Whoo. Then IV had things like FOEs breaking walls, being literal walls, changing the fire cave to an ice cave, and more. EOV's just taking things a step further, with knocking pillars down, day/night FINALLY meaning something, and an actually good teleporting puzzle. A couple rooms (especially 3F's redux) where I had to sit down and actually think. Only one puzzle in EOIII made me stop and think (the NW tentacle on B25F). I mean, there's a puzzle in EOV where you've got to use a falling pillar as a (painful) speed boost. That's freaking awesome. Exploring in and of itself is a lot more fun in EOIV and especially EOV than it was in earlier titles. I imagine EOU and EO2U did things to un-borify some stratums. Again, wouldn't know.

19. What floor mechanic annoys you the most? -Warping suuuucked in EO2. 29F, at least. Especially, especially, especially since you had no adequate way to mark them all. Not even by using random icons. You'd need duplicate icons well before you finished marking all those infernal teleporters. The 'invisible' areas in EOIII's last two stratums feels like a missed opportunity to me. I feel like those areas should be semi-randomly generated, rather than just 'oh, I can't see my little dot on the map'. No, they're not super-closely related, but it brings that to my mind.

20. Do you like the Grimoire system? If not what would you change? -I conceptually like what it stands for. Get a couple random skills from other classes. But that was the thing. It was either too random or too complex, if not both. It felt atrocious from EOU's demo alone. I can't imagine dealing with that all game. I don't like the idea of you getting monster skills. At all. Apparently, EO2U fixed some things. Wouldn't know.

25. Do you defeat any FOEs when you’re a higher level than them, the same level or a lower level? -My plan for FOEs is pretty much always ignore them until you've seen the stratum's boss. Or maybe just forever in EOII, where FOEs didn't give you anything of value, ever. Starting with EOII really discouraged me from fighting them, so that's probably influenced me.

26. Do you like the cooking mechanics in EOU2? EO4? EO5? -Short answer is no. Just looking at the food buffs made them seem pretty underwhelming, and finding/using the rare stuff was a pain, because Wiglaf and Kirjonen were constantly asking for them. In EO5, I just never seem to need food. A Botanist provides enough healing on her own, and when I pull out, it's more because I don't want to lose 40 minutes of mapping or save after a rough FOE fight than because I'm direly low on TP. Also, I never seem to have the ingredients to make anything, anyway. Maybe it's because nobody knows fishing, and all the good dishes require fish? Ramus hasn't shown me a dish since the start of the third stratum, so maybe he doesn't blab about them if you don't have the ingredients on hand. Memory is hazy, but I think EO2U's way of doing cooking was okay. You'd permanently have one food effect active until you ate something else, right? It doesn't make sense that that's what food would do, but from a mechanical standpoint, it's a neat extra modifier to play with.

30. What is one thing you wish Etrian Odyssey could improve on? -I certainly like the direction the series went. It could've been stuck in a mire of 'let's emulate early-early-ass dungeon crawlers' forever, and never really moved forward. But uuuuh, single thing I'd like to see the most? Gimme a reason to use multiple parties. It's a great problem to have, but seeing all these cool classes, yet never really having a chance to use them or good opportunities to swap guys around kinda hurts. EOIII and EOV's Learning/Memory Conch and EOIV's jump to lvl-25/35/45 books do help, but the former doesn't really keep them competitive and EOIV's are limited to two uses. And even that, that's more talking about individual characters. Yeah, I used EOIV's books to swap a second Fortress out for a Nightseeker and then again for an Imperial, but I wanna see a reason to use completely different parties. Simultaneous dungeon-exploring or characters being unavailable for multiple days after being bodied, whatever. I wanna reason to have 15+ characters viable and in play.

31. Do you think about Etrian Odyssey with other crossovers? (ie: Collab events) If so, what collab event would you like to see? -Screw mere collabs, I can seriously see a lot of potential for a Monster Hunter X Etrian Odyssey game. Basically, it'd be an EO game with some design changes, wearing a MH skin. Weapons would be instead of classes (Lance = Protector, Switch Axe = Imperial, Hunting Horn = Troubadour, etc.), and instead of beating up semi-generic squirrels and durians and doggos, it'd be iconic Monster Hunter monsters. And it'd be more like 'all FOEs, all the time'. Both series kinda sorta have this thing on 'get better drops by killing it in a certain way' that started this thought process. Rather than exploring through stratums, you'd have a dozen or so mid-sized maps, each with their own gimmicks and FOEs. Your goal, as always, is to killdoze one particular monster. It'd be a task of picking when and where to fight, as other FOEs would be eager to step and make things miserable for everyone. Running and re-initiating fights would be a thing, and monsters would maintain their health. Putting traps and using the field against the FOE would be a big thing. Things like Narmer (and every 1st stratum boss, really; why are the first guys always the most interesting?) the Boiling Lizard, and Primordiphant certainly influenced this thought.

32. Sea exploration or Sky exploration? -At the end of the day, Sky exploration is kinda... empty. It looks cool, and mini-dungeons isn't a bad idea, but it's more window-dressing than a real system. Sea exploration has a billion things wrong with it; it's too demanding that all your moves are perfect, putting a money cost on it is stupid, and so on and so forth. I don't like the Untold subseries, but I'd really like to see EO3U do it right. Some of those places are just begging for EO4 style mini-dungeons, like the Lighthouse, the Golem's Ruins, or the Pirate Island. Honestly, if they just straight-up transplant a couple stratums out of Yggdrasil and onto the other islands, that'd be cool with me. Reaching Deep City so early made it feel... not so very deep, really.